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gamerwoo · 2 years ago

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hansol: the lovers playlist

characters: hansol x female reader (mentions of reader x felix tho hehe)

genre/warnings: idol au, friends to strangers, angst, honestly still a happy ending just not for hansol lmao, mention of reader being from america on the east coast

word count: 1,557

summary: will you remember? do you remember me?

a/n: things in bold italics are song lyrics, and things in plain italics are memories (because this is a time skip to months after hansol giving reader the tape)

previous song | back to playlist

Wrote you a letter now that I'm here without you

He stared down at his phone, the long paragraph typed out but unsent. Should he send it? There was something about three strikes and you’re out, right? This would be the third, since you already gave him a second chance after he first hurt you. He didn’t even expect you to text him back that time.

But there shouldn’t have even been a second time. He shouldn’t have fucked up the first time when you befriended him, back when you were newly-debuted, wide-eyed and hopeful.

Hansol was vaguely familiar with your group. There was talk around the company about the newest group to debut, and he’d heard a few things here and there, as well as Seungkwan’s nosiness leading him to look your group up online and babble about little facts he read. He’d seen maybe half of you in the practice rooms or passing through the hall. He had seen you once, and it was fleeting, but he remembered Mingyu mentioning, “Whoa, she’s cute.”

“Yeah,” he agreed casually with a shrug, “she is.”

Because you were, but it wasn’t anything that deep. Hansol was very much a personality guy -- he didn’t care if you were physically attractive, he cared about who you were as a person.

But now you were in the same room as him, and he figured he should say hello. You were the girl from the east coast, and so was he. He figured he could say something. His intention really was just to be nice to the rookies, walking up to you despite your back facing him as you were caught up in polite conversation with a couple of your members and a few of his own.

“Hello,” he spoke up, hoping you’d turn around.

Would it be weird to tap your shoulder? Maybe. Probably.

You turned around, and he saw your eyes widen slightly as your eyebrows raised.

He could tell you were nervous when you said, “Hello!” from the way you squeaked slightly. He thought it was cute, smiling warmly at you before introducing himself.

Hope that you're better; Hope that you found someone new

He didn’t fall for you when he first met you. No, it took a couple times for him to finally realize he was catching feelings. When Mingyu had spoken up about his growing crush on you, Hansol didn’t feel threatened or jealous. You were friends at the time, but that was it.

Until...

“Oh, shit. I should probably get back to my dorm.”

Hansol felt his heart sink. He didn’t want you to go. You were having fun playing video games together, and he wouldn’t see you for the next month -- not that you knew that. He wanted to have as much time with you as possible. You were his best friend!

As Mingyu and Wonwoo suggested ways to get you home, Hansol panicked and blurted, “Well…w-why don’t you stay here?”

“Wait, really?” you asked. “Is…that allowed?”

“Technically,” Wonwoo shrugged, “but we have–”

“It’s fine,” Hansol quickly interrupted Wonwoo so he wouldn’t give away anything. If you knew they had a flight the next day, there was no way you’d agree to stay over, too worried about Hansol getting rest.

You always put others first. You were too kind.

He really liked that about you. How kind you were.

“_____, you can crash here tonight if you don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow.”

You shrugged, “Nah, we have the day off tomorrow. I’m down if it won’t get you in trouble.”

“What’re you worried about?” Mingyu smirked. “Think the managers will get the wrong idea?”

“Even if they did, there’s no dating ban,” Hansol scoffed before he quickly added on, “and I’d set the record straight. I never lie to the managers so they always believe what I say – unlike some people.”

Because there was nothing to lie about. You were his best friend. Just his best friend.

But the two of you ended up laying in his bed until 3am, listening to soft music and just talking. And as Maroon 5 played in the background, he started to realize something...

“You have a schedule tomorrow, don’t you?” you asked suddenly.

“Hm?”

“Wonwoo was going to say you have something when you invited me to stay. I assumed it was something like ‘we have schedules tomorrow’.”

“Worse,” Hansol chuckled shortly. “We’re going to Japan tomorrow.”

Your head turned to see Hansol was already looking at you, “Japan…?”

“We released a Japanese mini album that we’re promoting,” he explained. “We’ll be in Japan for the next month.”

He could see the sadness on your features out of the corner of his eye. The same sadness he felt thinking about not seeing you for so long, not even just for a couple of seconds walking by each other at the building.

No, Hansol didn’t just see you as his best friend. There was something more...

But then you looked like a scolding mother as you exclaimed, “Wait, you have to get up early to get on a plane, but you’re still awake at 3am! Hansol, go the fuck to sleep! You should’ve told me!”

He laughed as you whacked his face with a pillow, taking it off of his face and tossing it back to the head of the bed.

God, he was going to miss you. He was going to miss how comfortable he felt with you. How happy you made him. How easily you could make him laugh. How easily you could just sit in silence and he’d still feel content.

“_____, I’m not going to see you for a month,” he told, you turning his head to look into your eyes. “No hanging out, no late night drives, no nothin’.”

“Yeah, I’m well aware,” you deadpanned.

“So I didn’t say anything because I didn’t wanna sleep,” he admitted with a soft smile, warm brown eyes looking into yours. “I wanted to spend time with you before I left. You’re my best friend and I’ll miss you.”

He searched your eyes, hoping you’d get the hint. Hoping that he was trying to tell you that you were far more important to him than just a friend, and wondering if you’d reciprocate.

But instead, you just smiled and said, “I’ll miss you, too.”

Looking back on that memory, knowing what he knew now, he wondered when it happened for you. When did you realize you loved him and how did he read the signs so badly that he couldn’t pick up on it?

He hoped Felix made you happy, though. He had seen the official announcement for your relationship, but he’d seen the photos and videos posted of the two of you spending time together and playing video games together before that. He could tell from your smiles and laughs that you were genuinely happy, and despite the hurt in his heart, he was happy you had someone else that you were willing to spend all your time with; someone you could put all the love you had toward like you tried to with him and he so ignorantly ignored it. You deserved someone who would take it and return it tenfold, and he hoped that’s what your boyfriend did for you.

'Cause I'm getting older; Know that I've changed; And I can't go back now; Nothing's the same; But I won't forget how you called my name when I was afraid; And now I'm afraid

Those memories felt like a lifetime ago. Honestly, the last moment he had with you in your car felt like a lifetime ago, so meeting you felt even longer than that. And now...there was nothing. He hadn’t spoken to you in months, and he tried to be okay with that -- it wasn’t that you told him you wanted nothing to do with him, it was just...awkward after you turned him down -- but lately, he just...missed you. Maybe it was because your relationship announcement was so new and it hurt more than he would admit to his friends. Maybe he was jealous? He wasn’t sure.

And that unsureness was what made him tap on his text and delete the whole thing. If he wasn’t sure of his intentions, he shouldn’t bother reaching out. He didn’t want to hurt you again. He already did it once. Maybe this was just karma for what he unintentionally did to you. It was his turn to hurt now.

Will you remember me? Will you remember the way that I was? Will you remember me? Will you remember the way that you felt when you're next to me?

He tossed his phone to the side of his bed and laid on his back, staring at the ceiling and focusing on the music playing softly in the background.

Was it mean of him to hoped you remembered him? To hope that you still cherished the good memories like he did? To think of him even if you were in love with someone else now? Would he still hold a place in your heart as somebody you used to love?

Would you remember him as the Hansol you laughed with and sang along with, or the one that accidentally crushed your heart?

Will you remember? Do you remember me?

Hansol would never know.

── « ⋅ʚ ♫ ɞ⋅ » ───

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worldofroma · 2 years ago

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March 24 2023, Friday - 9:48am

The goddess, the queen, the absolute living legend dropped a new album today. I stayed up all night to listen to the entire album at 12:00am. Honestly, I’m not too big of a fan of this album. It had it’s good songs tho, I enjoyed the first 3 she released as well as a couple from the album, but I’m a die hard Ultraviolence fan. I love the song Sad Girl and Shades of Cool and Pretty When You Cry and Ultraviolence and…the entire album pretty much. But I do love her unreleased songs, as much as she hates them being “unreleased”. Playing Dangerous and For K (part 2). I’m really hoping Lana does another tour because if I were to be blessed enough to attend one of her concerts, I’d come out of that venue a whole new person.

Also, I think I’m slowly becoming the worst version of myself. I normally don’t talk about this kind of stuff because I find it cringe but I lowkey think I’m turning into some kind of virgin whore. I’ve never done shit with a guy other than makeout with one while blackout drunk at a party, but I know that a lot of guys would love to be with me. Not trying to be cocky or anything, but even if I have self image issues, I can recognize that I can make myself conventionally attractive most of the time.

I’ve been doing a lot of research on this new genre of attitude becoming more and more common throughout social media called femcel or female rage. However, I find it extremely stupid as it’s not some kind of aesthetic or style but instead a mindset or female version of the male sigma. American Pyscho, Donnie Darko, Fight Club, all those kinds of movies would be considered ‘male sigma’, mentally ill men who have some kind of complex that make them feel also they aren’t real, or superior to others. For women, it’s Midsommer, Black Swan, Virgin Suicides, and most importantly, Pearl. Earlier I stated how I find myself to relate greatly to Pearl, but not in the sense that I find myself to be a femcel, whatever the hell that even is. These feelings that women on the internet are grouping into the feminine rage category are all such common feelings, something that comes along with being human. As these women grow older, or should I say teenage girls, they’ll look back at this phase they’ve created and realize that what they were feeling was not some unknown emotion that groups them into the superior race of sigma or mentally ill, but feelings that you come to aquire as you grow older than a child. However, I do find this new genre so interesting that if I ever write a book or direct a movie, I’ll be taking each of the characters related to this genre and creating one character.

On that topic, I’ve been creating a story in my head for a long time now. A very long time. So long that if it doesn’t become published or viewable for the public at some point in my life, I may or may not go mentally insane. Yet, I haven’t written any of it down. I don’t need to. I can picture it all so vividly, so absolutely perfect, that I don’t need to write it down because I can view exactly how I want it to go down in my head. I know each character, I know their appearance and personality, I know the entire soundtrack of what would take part in a movie series of this idea, I know the setting, the plot points, conflicts, everything. Although, it is inspired greatly by other things I’ve consumed from media. Not great enough for it to be a complete copy, but great enough that you could see the similarities if you know what media I’ve taken it from. The story would be a slasher, horror, psychological movie where the main character is the antagonist. The killer. A teenage girl who has this entire genre surrounding her life. She’s seen as fragile, innocent, beautiful, and delicate. This persona she puts on allows her to get away with the string of killings she’s commiting in her small town. Killings of students at the only highschool in town. The title of this is still unknown, but only because I need to great such an amazing, perfectly fitting title for this so it really is the perfect story. The girl is struggling with a bad homelife, living only with her drunken father who sees her for who she really is. She knows she’s not the perfect girl she shows her self as, but instead of doing anything about it to stop her, he punishes her on his own. He has for quite some time, which was one of the main reasons she began to kill. She’d kill anyone who did something wrong, not only to her, but to others in general. She’d kill people who recieved something they don’t deserve or people who brag on and on about something they shouldn’t have. Each time she would kill, her image would breakdown a little bit more. She was losing her sanity. Her fathers punishments would get worse with each kill, he knew it was her. Her only friend, Elijah, began to notice her downfall and began to question her with his girlfriend, Roxie. Halfway through the story, a copycat killer comes into the ring. Their motive to kill is different, they’re people who’ve wronged her directly, but it’s not her. She knows whoever this copycat is must be someone she knows, but whatever they’re doing is only bringing the cops right to her. She’s losing time, but she’s beginning to suspect her father to be the copycat killer, knowing he wouldn’t turn her in on his own, but he’d do what he could to lead her right to her prison cell. She wanted to kill him, but that too would send her straight into the hands of the judge. It took her sometime to develop a plan, but she knew her best option was to kill her father and flee the state, maybe even country, before it was too late. But just as she gathers the courage to finish the job herself, she goes to the living room to find her father already murdered by the one and only Roxie. Roxie admits that shes been obsessed with her since they met, regardless if she was dating Elijah or not, and knew no other way to become closer with her than to kill the people who treated her wrong. Roxie thought that maybe then she’d get her attention, and she couldn’t be more right. She agrees to bring Roxie with her to flee the town of hell and they run off together, that ending being the end of the first story.

Second one would show Roxie as the main character and a bit of her backstory, still unknown, and how she ran off with the girl to continue on with their lives across the country. Roxie and the girl are polar differences, and Roxie finds herself blind to this. She thinks that her and the girl are meant to be, star crossed lovers, partners in crime. But little does she know that as the story goes on, the girl begins to despise Roxie. Roxie is relentless and careless, continuing on to murder people in their new area without even trying to be secretive or clean. The girl hates this, as she is the opposite of Roxie and always double or even triple checks that theres no way to trace her back to the crime. However, the girl keeps up her image that she’s obident to Roxie and tries not to show that she was planning to kill her. Then one night, they’re both sitting down at opposite ends of the table for a nice dinner that Roxie insisted they attend. Theres clearly built up tension between them, specificallyat the girls end, but Roxie is known to be a dunce and doesn’t realize how much the girl was holding back. Roxie rambles on and on during the dinner, overtaking the music the girl had put on in hopes to drown out both Roxie and her own thoughts, but that wasn’t working out. Finally, Roxie begins to explain her plan for her next killing, someone important to the community, and that strikes the girl very quickly. The girl questions her thought process on how she expects to get away with it, but Roxie tells her to relax and allow her to do what she needs to do. The girl smiles back, an unhinged look in her eye, before getting up to take a second in the kitchen to herself. She does everything she can to compose herself, but that breadknife on the counter is practically screaming to be used. She takes the knife and sneaks up on Roxie at the table, killing her right then and there, and allowing the story to be bought back to her perspective. She fines herself to finally be free, having a moment of breakthrough and dancing around in the pool of blood left by Roxie. And once again, she flees to another country and starts over. Story two over.

Edit from June 13th, 2023 - Tuesday: this story has been and continues to change every time I go to think about this so now that i’m rereading it, I’m laughing at how pathetic it was. But it’s growing into something beautiful, I swear.

Third story, starts off with a news report of Roxie and the entire story of what they called “the student slaughterer”. The girl was able to successfully frame Roxie for every killing commited in both communities they left in as well as faking her own death by leaving behind a few toes and teeth, compsoing some elaborate story of how Roxie was an obsessive stalker of her and eventually became overwhelmed with jealousy and killed her before killing herself. In the new place, the girl finds herself to be liked greatly by her peers now that she’s completely altered her identity. She’s making new friends, doing great in school, and best of all, not killing anyone. It doesn’t take long for a boy to begin to develop feelings for her and ask her out, to which she contains her normal outlook and accepts it. Only after did she find out that the boy is infatuated with crime and mystery, specifcally over the crimes that she had commited. He can somehow see right through the story she built up for Roxie and knew that the other girl involved, herself, had to be the mastermind behind it all. But, his stupidity restricts him from seeing right through the girl and doesn’t even notice the resemblance, only to find himself falling in love with the girl. They continue to date for the story and eventually, she agrees to help him with his home investigation to help him find the true murderer behind the many killings commited. Finally, they’ve found themselves sitting outside and going over the entire case before the girl points something out. She tells him he’s wrong about something, he asks how she knows, and with a fit of insanity, she admits to him that she’s the one who was behind it all. He, of course, is completely dumbfounded and betrayed as she explains every step she took throughout the entire case, rambling to him how clever she is that not even those who dedicate their whole lives to finding her can see that she’s right in front of him. She goes on to tell him she’s never loved him, but instead found it amusing to be there next to him while he pushed him down a path of completely wrong evidence of the case, throwing him right of her trail. Then, just as she was about to push him from the cliff, he turns around and pushed her instead, finally ending the series.

The thing about this series, though, is that it’s not meant to be scary or understandable or even unpredictable, it’s meant to be how easily the girl is able to find beauty in such terrible acts she commits. With almost every murder, she leaves their body in a way of what she considers art for the police to find them as, at some points even convering herself in their blood. She’s an artist.

1:32 pm

God, I am so bored. I just got back from an hour and a half lunch break, smelling like fire after almost setting my house to flames toasting english muffins. Who knew putting frozen muffins in a toaster would start a fire?? Not me, jesus. I’m still trying to wrap my head around my earlier notes, continuing to research of course, and I found that the book My Year of Rest and Relaxation is a big part of that whole genre. I’m in the midst of reading it, but it simply doesn’t interest me. It’s boring and I don’t understand how her therapist can’t see through her act, constantly being prescribed with sleeping pills just so she can add an extra hour to her 17 hours of sleep. I mean, I also love to sleep, but 17 hours jesus christ. Get a lobotomy.

No fucking way. I’m trying so hard not to laugh in the office right now after hearing someone over the radio talking about the lawsuit against archive of our own. Thats fucking amazing. See, I’ve read fanfiction, obviously, but shutting down the webstie?? I do agree some people who linger on there seriously need to drink a glass of water while sitting outside to get some fresh air and a tan on their transparent skin, but come on, at least they’re reading. I’ve read fanfiction, but not constantly. I like to read ones that are basically just online books with names of characters I know. Half the time, these characters' personalities aren’t even accurate to their true persona, but the plots are just so damn interesting sometimes.

Heres something super random. I watch a lot of different shows just like how I listen to music. If it’s good, I’ll watch it, I dont care when it was made, who made it, the people in it, nothing. If it’s good, I’ll watch, I’ll listen. I watch anime, not a lot, but the interesting ones. And I think someone seriously needs to do a study on the fact that Attack On Titan is literally the Breaking Bad of anime. Nothing to do with the plot lines or characteristics of either shows, but the fanbase. If you’ve ever seen Family Guy, theres an episode (s11e9) where Peter watches Breaking Bad and all it is is someone repeating over and over again, “You’ll tell your friends to watch the show, the show is amazing, the show is the best show out there” etc, etc. I find that so funny because no matter how many times I attempt to watch Breaking Bad, I just can’t get into it no matter how many times I try. It’s just not important or interesting to me. Same with Attack On Titan, I made it to somewhere in season 3 before giving up and realizing the show just isn’t as good as what everyone says it is. But yet, both fanbases demand that these shows are masterpieces, awardwinners, the all time greatest shows anyone can ever see or make. In my opinion, Attack On Titan is nothing compared to Death Note, but I guess everyone has their own thoughts.

I also need someone to do a study on the amount of fucking fan service in most animes. Like oh my god. Some of them have such amazing plots, absolutely scrum dumpish plot points, but the you’ll be watching it peaceful and all the sudden 2 SIBLINGS are scary close or someone suddenly has no clothes on. Like what the fuck is that? How do people enjoy watching shit like that? It’s not interesting. As soon as I see anything like that, I immediately turn the show off, so how do they still have viewers? That’s the only reason I was actually able to put up with AOT for so long before stopping due to boredom, they had absolutely no fan service. Even the kids shows in anime are terrible for fan service like come on, this is really what you want your kids to see? But like I said, I watch more regular tv than I do anime and if I had to choose one or the other, definitely real shows.

I love Stranger Things, The Office, YOU, Family Guy, Black Mirror, and Midnight Gospel. Majority of the shows I choose either have the mystery/horror concept, or they’re just simple comedy shows. I don’t like romance much unless they extremely interesting and have more than just a relationship. I don’t like action movies unless it’s tragic or the actors are hot. Only action movie I’ve ever seen is Batman Begins, solely because my two favourite dilfs are the hero and the villain, what better combination than that? I know I said earlier I don’t watch things for those reasons, but I have my exceptions. I do, however, love Disney movies. The Lion King is one of my favourite movies of all time, soundtrack is amazing, plotline is amazing, characters are amazing, absolute 10/10 best Disney movie ever created, fight me if you disagree. Just kidding, don’t, my wrists are too weak for that shit. I don’t fight, I kill people by lowering their self esteem to nothing. I’m good with words, but not physical fighting.

I think someones all time favourite song really describes them as a person. And don’t even try saying “Oh, I love all songs! I couldn’t choose just one” bitch shut the fuck up we all have a favourite song stop trying to be different. My favourite song is probably one of the worst and most vile songs in all of history, A Little Piece of Heaven by Avenged Sevenfold. It’s an 8 minute long song all about a man who kill his wife after saying no to his proposal, fucked her dead body, and kept her body perserved so he could keep her forever, but she comes back alive to retake her body and kill him the same way he killed her. They find themselves in the afterlife, get married, and go on a killing spree to live happily ever after. Best fucking song ever. I don’t care if the lyrics are awful, the song is a god damn masterpiece and sounds as if it had been taken straight out of a demonic musical. Love it. Second favourite song? Liquid Smooth by Mitski. Two very different songs, I know, but two songs that I can easily create a story to go with in my head. Mitski, if you ever see this, please let me make a music video for Liquid Smooth, it would be so amazing and fit the song so god damn well, you’d love it. Third favourite song? I was all over her by salvia palth. That song has never failed making me cry.

Other than co-op, I’m part of a class called GENESIS where we learn all about biking, canoeing, hiking, and surviving in the wilderness. Not my thing at all but lowkey enjoying it. It takes up all 4 credits for the semester meaning I’m stuck with the same group of people the entire time. Theres 17 in total in my class, 9 girls and 8 boys, and we’re all extremely different. We have 5 exchange students in the class and they like to situate themselves with each other only, even if they’re not from the same countries. I have a feeling that they secretly think they’re above the rest of us simply because they’re from European countries, but oh well. It’s also very funny to see how different we all are from each other. All of us have much different personalities, sense of style, interests, and I can’t say a single one of us even look similar in the slightest. Obviously, these things are just what makes us human, but I still find it fascinating. We all went to completely different places for co-op, but they’re all fairly normal places. The second week of the class, we took a trip for 4 days to stay in the middle of the woods, learning the basics of the class while also learning more about each other since our teachers like to consider this class “one big family”... yeah no. See, I’ll put up with these people for now, but likely never again. No offense to any of them, they’re all great people, but after being around some people for this long, I’ll be more than happy to go our seperate ways. No hard feelings either, I put most people I meet into this category and like to keep my friend group relatively small. After the trip, I guess you could say we’re all acquaintances, maybe they consider it friendships but not me. It’s just that most of the kids in the class are extroverts who try to make me one too but if I don’t wanna talk, I don’t wanna talk. Either that, or they don’t talk at all. Theres literally no inbetween other than me. I’m also overall not a very friendly or approachable person so I don’t mind that they don’t always want to talk to me or I’m not really anyones first choice, I don’t have a first choice either so theres no problem there. Besides, the only people I’d attempt to befriend would be the exchange students since we all know the friendships with them would be temporary after they go back, but sometimes it’s hard to make conversation with them and I think one of the girls may be holding something against me, but I can’t tell. All I know is that she doesn’t necessarily like me and as their “groups leader”, they all kind of follow suit. It’s funny though because out of most people in the class, I’d say her and I would likely get along the best from the little amount of conversations we’ve had, but I could be wrong.

I just found a pimple in my eyebrow and it hurts really bad. Also, back to the topic of music, I fucking hate the music being created today. Especially what place on radio stations. Currently playing is ABCED fuck you, I can’t fathom enough how much that song makes me want to pour cement in my ears so I never have to hear anything like it again. Another one is Anti-hero by T Swift. I love her and her songs and yeah the new album is okay but I mean damn, after playing it 5 times in an hour it gets a little boring. All the music today is just trying way too hard to remake old songs or even sampling other songs. It’s just not good. In my opinion, the best era for music was the early 2000s going into the 2010s, EARLY 2010s. Every genre of music was absolutely thriving and so many great artists were becoming huge during this time, artists so great that they’re still extremely relevant today.

#journaling #literature #aspiring writer

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hanazuma-inactive · 4 years ago

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Hi, I love your writings ❤. I really enjoy reading them.

Um, can I request Oikawa Tooru with virgin!reader who is (sub, bottom); (praise kink, but doesn't know he has and kinda shy when he knows it); (has shy, soft, and really submissive personality) (3rd year student) ? Reader with Oikawa is a couple of lover, and a roommate. They usually do some cuddles in their bedroom that always started with Oikawa teasing the reader. One day, when cuddling, Oikawa asked reader if he wants to do something more intimate than cuddling and really feels good.

Sorry if that is too much. Thank you

king and his prince, (nsfw) oikawa x bottom!reader

pronouns: he/him (FEMALE ORIENTED DNI!!)

warnings: creampie, praise kink! flirty oikawa

a/n: oikawa is probs my least favorite character in haikyuu, im pretty sure i hated him at one point cuz of his personality. i later found out from many website i am unfortunately a oikawa kinnie (even tho i dont really think so but idk) explains all the self hatred lmao, again for the anon that requested it im sorry for the bad quality cuz i stayed up to write this at 6 am so undoubtedly there will be some mistakes

_____

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

oikawa tooru was too popular for your comfort at school. everyone liked him and they all had a good reason to, and that doesn't make you any different. you were shy and didn't catch a lot of attention so you were incredibly surprised that someone as popular as oikawa even wanted to talk to you.

you were smart and in fact smart enough to compete with oikawa. in fact the first time you caught his attention was when you corrected an answer, making him embarrassed in front of the class. he wanted to "settle this" only to find you harmless. later on he talked to you more and more. the contrast of personality of you two complimented each other pretty well. a cocky bastard who doesn't know how to shut up and a shy boy who likes to listen. inevitably the two of you grew closer as friends, so much to a point where you moved into the same apartment unit.

you didn't mind getting closer to oikawa, emotionally or physically with him being your crush and all so this was pretty much what you wanted, you just didn't think he would be the one to offer instead. being enclosed in a space together made oikawa get a lot more comfortable with you. random hugs here and there, maybe a little head pat, and sometimes leaning on each other's shoulders. it was practically a dream come true and you didn't think this could possibly get better until the man pulled something else out his sleeves.

one day you fell asleep watching the tv in the living room. the weather was a little chilly so falling asleep without a blanket near you wasn't the best idea. oikawa came home to find you shivering in your sleep so of course like the genius he is, he didn't decide to throw a blanket or carry you back into your bedroom and instead cuddled with you on the couch, leaving you wrapped around his arms basically unable to move when you woke up.

both of you would be lying if you said you didn't enjoy it. therefore, this whole cuddling session became a regular thing between you two. oikawa being the big spoon and you being the small one. it went on for a while until both of you realized this might not have been the most normal thing that "friends" did. at this point you're pretty sure oikawa had feelings for you, or else he wouldn't have done a lot of the things he has. after a lot of urging from his friends, he finally decided to confess to you. despite him being the playboy he is, he was quite nervous this time, due to the fact that he had to say it to someone he actually has feelings for. so just like that, the relationship between you two finally became official.

another day you guys during your normal cuddling session, oikawa proposed an interesting idea, and to be honest you saw this coming.

"babeeeee, why don't we try something more interesting this time~?" oikawa said, staring at you with his arms around you.

you knew exactly what oikawa meant, you weren't stupid, but you know that he likes it when you act all innocent so you decided to do just that.

"hm? what do you mean tooru-kun? i don't think i understand?"

"oh…baby boy i know you know what i mean alright~" just as he said that the brown haired man grabbed you in for a kiss.

your tongues started to intertwine immediately. this was very much oikawa's style, aggressive and dominant, but soft and caring when he wanted to. the kiss was generally messy but you could tell that oikawa was putting effort into this with all his tiny and intricate movements. a string of saliva connected you after he broke the kiss. leaving you panting and gasping for air while he's on the other side with a sly grin.

"you ready for the next part now?"

"t-there's more ah-!" you gasped as your boyfriend pulled down your pants at once, leaving your hard cock to bounce out.

"of course there is~ we have to tend to this guy don't we?" he said, holding your dick and positioning himself to suck your dick.

yet again attacked by oikawa's mouth you just couldn't keep it for long anymore. it's like his mouth is heaven made or something and it will continue to turn you on and make you cum without fail.

"a-ah! tooru..i'm gonna cum! mmghm!" you said, shooting all your load straight into your boyfriend's mouth, which of course he gladly swallowed right after.

"t-that's it right? i don't think i'll be able to handle more, you know…" you said out of both fear and excitement.

however all you got in response was a smirk from oikawa as he slid off his shirt to reveal his perfectly toned abs.

"almost done, pretty boy."

something about that word, made your half flaccid cock immediately rise up and become as hard as your boyfriends again.

"heh? what a strange reaction, could this mean…" oikawa leaned in closer, enough so that all the hair near your ears would stand up and said,

"my prince likes to be praised?"

you've heard about this so-called praise kink before but didn't exactly think you'd be into it this much. your face turned redder than they already are and you just wanted to cover your face and run away.

"aw, c'mon, it's cute! and if you like it-' oikawa said, spreading your legs open, exposing your asshole and angling his cock head to the entrance of it.

"i might just praise you a little more than usual, hm?"

your boyfriend was hot but this was undoubtedly the most attractive he's ever been. towered over you whispering praises in your ear as he prepared you with his fingers for something bigger that's about to come next. without a warning oikawa began to inch his way into your ass, moving and adjusting his cock to fit your tight asshole.

"you're taking me so well baby...keep doing just that alright? i know you're so good for me aren't you?" oikawa said, leaning closer at you.

at a loss for words due to how flustered you are, you could only give your boyfriend a little nod and covered your face with your arms while flashing a little red on your cheeks once again.

"y/n, my dear prince~ doesn't it feel good like this?"

"t-tooru…it feels good, i-it really does!" you said, messy hair and looking directly at your boyfriend.

"you look so beautiful when you enjoy it, keep up that pretty face won't you?"

the praises that he showered you with were too much. you were already so sensitive since it was your first time and all. now with all these lustful words turning you on, you couldn't hold it in anymore and came onto your stomach while your boyfriend continued to make slow but deep thrusts onto your prostate.

your head was still a little fuzzy but you could still feel your boyfriend jerking his hips faster and faster, ending with a long thrusts at the end which wasn't hard to assume that your boyfriend came inside you, just like how you wanted it. before passing out from bliss, a hand cupped your cheek followed with a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"you did so well baby…i know you're tired so rest now, i'll be here alright."

you couldn't be more happy, with such a loving and caring boyfriend. that being said, you fell into his arms once again and slipped into your dreams even thought they have already become reality.

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wandaswifeyforlifey · 3 years ago

Note

Hey could I request a Brie Larson x r where they meet at the set of Avengers endgame and they both have a crush on each other and their co stars make fun of them and they just blush and it's really

A/n: Thank you for requesting this! I try to write them within 24hrs of either the request being sent or me seeing the request so sorry if this is a bit later. I do most of my writing at like 12-5 am so some of it might be shitty lol. I love doing requests tho and will always try my best to make them work for your taste.

Word Count: 1048

Warnings: None really, just pure fluff

Ship: Brie Larson x Reader

"You better get up soon or you're gonna be late!" Called Scarlett from downstairs. Scarlett and you had met on the set of one of your first movies and quickly began to hang out more and more until you decided to be roommates. You had finished shooting Avengers: Infinity War about 2 months ago and were exactly 2 weeks into filming Avengers: Endgame which you were pretty excited about because you would get to film with some actors that you never had before.

"Coming!" You shouted back. Sadly, you weren't quite adjusted to the earlier mornings yet which definitely wasn't helpful considering you would be doing tiring work all day. You dragged yourself out of bed and headed downstairs for breakfast.

"Hey sleepyhead," Scarlett smirked at me as she cooked her omelette.

"Any news that could redeem my mood this morning?"

"Well… you are filming the 'female empowerment' scene today. You've got to be pretty excited to be acting with some new people, right?"

"Oh yeah! I completely forgot about that. I've got to admit Scar, that has perked me up a bit so thank you."

"Wow, you don't need to sound so surprised." She laughed.

You made yourself a coffee, had some cereal then went to have a shower. You put on a comfortable outfit considering as soon as you get on set you'll get your costume and makeup done.

Once you arrived you were swarmed with people filling you in on the scenes and telling you where you needed to go but they were all talking over each other so you understood nothing. Thank god I have my assistant, you thought to yourself.

*2 hours later*

You had your hair and makeup finished when you heard a knock on your trailer door.

"Come in!" You called while wondering who could possibly be seeing you when your assistant was on their break and you were already prepared to film.

"Hey, Y/n? I'm Brie. I just wanted to introduce myself before we started shooting."

You were just looking at her with pure adoration as the most beautiful woman you had ever seen stepped in.

"Y/n?"

"O-oh, yeah, sorry, hi." You cleared your throat because you noticed you were staring. "So I assume you're doing the all-female scene with me?"

You moved along your sofa so that she could sit down next to you.

"Yeah, actually and I'm super excited for it. I think it's brilliant to team up all the female superheroes."

"I could not agree more! But it sucks that Natasha isn't in it."

"Wait, she isn't?"

"No, I was chatting with Scarjo this morning, because we share an apartment, and she said her character wouldn't be in it."

"Oh are you and Scarlett, like, a thing? Because it would be totally fine if you were and I just didn't know your were interested in women and-"

"Hey, hey slow down," you laughed, "no me and Scar aren't a thing but I am interested in women."

"Me too! I don't really like to use labels because I find them too constricting though."

The conversation died down but not in an uncomfortable way, more in a content way. You stared into each other’s eyes until Brie said:

"Anyway. I should really get going. I haven't even got my makeup done yet." She spoke hurriedly and quickly left the trailer. You weren't sure how to feel about her sudden departure but deep down it hurt you a little. Why would she leave so quickly if we were having a nice time? Did she find it uncomfortable? I really hope the conversation ended positively in her books too, you thought.

You shot a couple of scenes before the all-women scene and took a break just before it to talk to Scarlett.

"Hey Scar, have you seen Brie? She came into my trailer to chat a bit and it seemed like we were having a really nice time but then she just left all of a sudden."

"Uh, no I don't think I have since our second scene but it sounded like you had a good time, eh?" She smirked and nudged you. You knew she noticed how concerned you were about Brie.

"Fine, maybe I thought she was really pretty and sweet but I don't know how she feels."

"Well from the glances she sent you during our first and second scenes I’d say she likes you back.”

“I never said I liked her, ok? I just said I thought she was amazing and charming and attractive and stuff.”

“That’s literally the same thing.”

You rolled your eyes.

“I need Y/n and Brie over here please? You guys are going to be opening the Female Avengers Unite scene so we’re just going to give you a little run-through,” shouted Joe Russo from across the set.

“Oo-ooh you enjoy yourself, Y/n.” taunted Scarlett. You playfully stuck your tongue out at her as you walked over.

*Once shooting was done for the day*

Yet again you heard a knock on your door as you were just finishing packing your stuff up to leave.

“Yeah?”

“It’s me, again,” announced Brie as she stepped in. This time though, she wouldn’t make eye contact with you and seemed to be rather nervous.

“You okay?”

“Yeah, it's just, um… so Scarlett told me how you felt after I left and I felt pretty bad so I just thought I should come back and apologise and tell you that it wasn’t your fault, it had nothing to do with you. I promise.”

“Oh no, you don’t need to apologise! I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I absolutely didn’t mean to.”

You saw the heat rise in her cheeks.

“To be perfectly honest, I didn’t just come here to apologise. I came here to tell you the truth. Okay… I just need to get this off my chest. I think I have feelings for you.” She looked at you hopefully, only to have a blank stare in return. You weren’t sure what to say. You were so overwhelmed with excitement and happiness that you just stood up and hugged her. Burying your face in the crook of her neck you whispered, “I want to stay in this moment forever.”

If you want to be added to my taglist ask/message me!

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local-ground-apple · 4 years ago

Note

Are you doing requests right now? If so, then can you do headcannons of the dorm heads with a female s/o who is strong, smart, and resourceful but doesn’t like seeing them crying. Thank you

Here we go~!!

It’s been a while since I did headcanons, the rest of my inbox are purely one-shots

🥀 loves, adores, cherishes those traits of yours. He simply finds them admirable and commendable,

🥀 you stopped one-braincell duo too many times to count. You always come in the right moment to stop Adeuce from destroying Riddle’s perfect and peaceful day,

🥀 Ace calls you a “big-brain”, while you remarks that if he actually read and did his homework, he would be as smart as you,

🥀 you are always able to find your way out of painting roses. Always. You even constructed a rather complicated and intricate machine that would paint them for you,

🥀 You managed to snatch his heart, as well as make Riddle focus his attention solely on you with your strong will, intellect and resourcefulness. He finds those traits rather attractive,

🥀 he knows that he can rely on you and you are often entrusted with important tasks. You are crucial help especially while organising VDC. Whenever an unexpected problem arises, you always come up with a solution within few seconds, sparing everyone hearing Riddle’s rants,

🥀 You, as well as Riddle view crying as being weak, so you two never catch each other weeping or sobbing. No, no. You both understand why you wouldn’t want to be seen vulnerable and you respect that,

🦁 Ruggie thinks you’re a blessing and a gift sent from heavens as an act of pity towards him. You surely help him a lot and he will make sure to remind you about this,

🦁 at first, Leona didn’t even notice how resourceful you are. Whenever there’s a problem in Savanaclaw, you’re always able to find a solution (a good one, may I add) and stop the eventual chaos,

🦁 he takes advantage of your brilliant ideas, a lot

,,Could you find me a place where I can finally nap in peace?” “nO”

🦁 Jack and Ruggie are placing bets who is more resourceful and smart - you or Leona. You haven’t noticed since you two began competing for that title. Leona by trying to come up with new ways how to nap without anyone disturbing his beauty sleep and you by trying to think of better solutions than Leona’s,

,,Are they truly having a contest on who can nap smarter?” “It appears so”

🦁 you both cheat absolutely everywhere and whenever you have the opportunity. As once Jack stated - you both use your intelligence for unmoral purposes,

🦁 Leona sercetly admires how strong you are and how he had never caught you crying. He certainly views you as a strong, yet he reminds that it’s okay to cry and seek comfort in his arms,

🐙 Azul simply finds you endearing and is absolutely intrigued. Which may be considered a good and a bad thing in the same time,

🐙you often feel his inquisitive eyes trailing on your figure and you can’t brush off the feeling of being watched by Leech twins. You attracted the attention of this greedy octopus and it’s only natural that he wants to taste your intellect and challenge your resourcefulness,

🐙 your intellect and emotional strenght attracted him. Azul will do his best to get you to sign one of his intricate contracts,

🐙 he simply views this as a game or challenge. The battle between two smart individuals. He enjoys trying various strategies, seeing how quickly you can adapt to current misfortunes caused by no one other than him,

,,My, my, what a pity~! I’m deeply sorry for your current state, perhaps would you need a hand?” “Azul, I swear if you don’t stop those games of yours!”

🐙 Azul wants to test you. Check whether you can outsmart him or manage to avoid being dragged into a contract, He may not admit it directly, yet he would want to see you break down in tears in front of him, after dooming your existence with a mere signature,

🐙 oh, how delightful that sight would be!

🦂 Jamil doesn’t think you’re useless, which is an achievement of some sort. Resourcefulness is appreciated in Scarabia and you blend in well with the other students and they sometimes mistake you for one of them,

🦂 you are the only braincell in your relationship with Kalim and always save him from consequences of his bad decisions. Always. It’s either you or Jamil,

🦂 Jamil may not say it publicly, but he actually appreciates you. With you around Kalim (and your braincell), he can catch a breathe for a moment. He sometimes jokingly calls you Kalim’s babysitter and well, you can’t really deny it,

🦂 generally you’re a rather cute and well-paired couple. You’re the brain and Kalim is the heart and it works quite well! You both compliment each other,

🦂 Kalim adores hearing your smart remarks and intricate, yet useful, new ideas. You always manage to come up with a fresh and good solution!

🦂 you’re often that person that drags Kalim out from whatever shitty situation he yeeted himself into.

💜 you dislike crying? Good, cause he doesn’t like seeing you crying either. It doesn’t serve you right and for aesthetic reasons he would prefer not seeing your sobbing face with mascara running down your cheeks. Vil just hates it when you’re sad, it makes his heart break in two,

💜 you both have never seen each other crying. Never. Vil views crying as ugly and vulnerable, while you want to present your strenght to others. So whenever one of you need to shed a tear, you excuse yourself and diseappear in your room,

💜 Vil adores hearing your smart remarks and brilliant solutions. After all, isn’t intelligence simply endearing and attractive?

💜 you’re resourceful, so you actually managed to successfully sneak Epel out of Pomefiore without anyone noticing for two hours, which was the longest period of time he was outside and Rook was inside,

💜 he appreciates every effort you put in conducting your creative and unique ideas and bringing them to life. He’s one of your biggest supporters who always have your back!

💀 please share some of your resourcefulness with him,

💀 Idia really respects you. He finds your intelligence, strenght and dilligence truly commendable. You always know what to do or how to avoid any sort of unpleasant or awkward situation, or at least make it work in your favour,

💀 sometimes Idia wishes he had your skills. You always remind him that he actually has braincells (even tho Idia denies it and you both end up trying to convince one another that you’re both smart and resourceful)

💀 Idia has never, ever, seen you crying. Whenever your eyes get watery or he catches a glimpse of tears welling up, you’re always quick to leave the room,

💀 he understands why you wouldn’t like him to side that side of you, but in his eyes you’re one of the strongest and brightess persons he had ever met,

💀 if you ever wanted a shoulder to cry on, Idia would be more to happy to offer his,

💀 your intelligence never fails to amaze him. You’re often seen with Idia trying to pass next level in intricate, puzzle-solving types of games, helping him score more points,

💀 ortho thinks that’s cute

🐲 Malleus finds your strength amusing and intriguing. You may not be strong physically compared to him or any fellow Diasomnia member, yet your mental strength never cease to amaze him. After all, aren’t humans simply endearing and fascinating?

🐲 you and Lilia get along just well, since you’re both master of resourcefulness. You both may or may not compete with each other, trying to find the best solution in given situation,

🐲 Malleus thinks you could easily pass as one of country’s advisors. Your ideas are innovative and unique,

🐲 sometimes Malleus wishes you would let yourself be vulnerbale for a brief moment. He adores your strenght and character, yet he would love to comfort you. After all, he’s here for you and only you,

🐲 however, Malleus deeply respects you and if you wish not to be seen crying, he will quickly excuse him and leave you alone in tears, even if it breaks his heart,

🐲 remember, this ancient dragon is more than willing to listen to your worries, whip your tears and help you find a solution,

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #riddle rosehearts #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #azul ashengrotto #kalim al asim #vil schoenheit #idia shroud #vil schoenheit x reader #kalim al-asim x reader #leona kingscholar x reader #malleus draconia x reader #azul ashengrotto x reader #idia shroud x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland writing

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wandering-hearts-and-a-crow · 4 years ago

Text

.patience

...i have no excuse for this, i just really like epel a little too much and i don’t see enough content for him;;;; could be because it’s buried in my feed and shit tho. anyway, let’s have him take his insrurites out on our poor reader. all characters are presented as 18+.

reader is dfab for this;;;

title: patience

pairing: yandere!third-year!epel felmierxthird year!reader

fandom: twisted wonderland

tw: yandere content, toxic/unhealthy relationships, vague nsfw content, non-consensual drugging, noncon/dubcon(maybe?)

It started out as a game, to see who would back out first. It was a joke. As far as you’d known, anyway.

What started out as a simple pocky game now ended up with you pinned to your bed, lungs pleading for air as Epel held you down, near effortlessly. Having lived on a farm, it did make sense he was stronger than he looked, but you didn't expect the grip on your wrists to be bruising. He was still kissing you, clumsily but slowly. He was much better than he should have been at this. He smirked triumphantly as he pulled himself back.

“I might be pretty, but I’m still a man.”

He looked proud of the panting mess that he’d left you as he hovered over your form, wasting no time in harmlessly but firmly tying your wrists together before then securing them above your head. You assumed your restraints were attached to the headboard. You hardly had the air or strength to fight him while he did so. He may have been panting, too, but it was to nowhere near the same degree as you.

He then sat up and looked at the door, before getting off of you entirely. He got off of the bed and surveyed the room, before locking the door and returning to sit on the bed beside you. He seemed to smile fondly down at you, but something was off about the look in his eyes.

“So, what’s my reward for winning, (y/n)?” “Wh..wha?”

“If you don’t tell me, I’ll just pick the reward I want and take it.”

He seemed almost docile as he laid on his side. He’d grown since his first year(though not much), but he was still probably more beautiful than most women. He blinked at you through long, lilac lashes as he brushed his fingers across your cheek with a smirk.

“E-epel, I was k-kidding ear..earlier. Ple... please untie me and we can talk something out,” you mumbled, feeling a bit of discomfort settling in your abdomen. He resembled some sort of mix of both Vil and Leona from your first year at NRC. He seemed lazy, but was a hardworking and hardheaded person. Things he tried and did? He excelled at. You kind of admired that, and his drive.

You were the person he hung out with most often, often taking advantage of his looks to pull you away from the rest of your band of friends. He would often use his pretty face and sharp tongue to frustrate everyone else while at least holding onto your arm. You could swear that you heard him and Jack in more than a couple arguments, using hushed tones and murmured threats.

However, aside his clinginess, you thought he only had platonic feelings for you, even after finding out you were, biologically speaking, female. He’d been distant for a few months after that, seeming to be Vil’s shadow before the former Pomefiore dorm head graduated. Then he started acting normal again.

Well, as normal as he could get, after that.

Your momentary drift, trying to sort out if you noticed any attraction to you prior, was interrupted as you felt him undo the button and zipper on your (pants/skirt), pulling the article of clothing down your legs. He was already hovering over you again, and any protests fell on deaf ears, and using your legs was of little use when he had almost no trouble moving them any way he wanted. It hardly occurred that you may have been drugged, not until you started to feel your body begin to heat up, and become sensitive.

“You said the winner would get any firsts of the loser they wanted, babe. You’re gonna take that back now?”

Your hazy brain hardly registered Epel’s voice as he laughed, but you knew exactly where his hands were. You whined softly as he cupped your sex through your underwear, running a finger over your slit atop the thin fabric. He was doing it slow on purpose, more than likely trying to drive you into begging for more. It was working, more or less, as the only thing stopping you from rubbing your thighs together was him and his lean body.

You didn’t want to ask for anything, but you knew that he wouldn’t help you out of this predicament. Looking at him didn’t help. He was half positioned over you, holding your legs open at least partway. The young, beautiful man was just watching your expressions with a mildly smug look on his face. He showed no indication of trying to progress further

“F-fine... b-be gentle, whatever y-you’re gonna do, ok-okay?” you relented, already regretting your acceptance. However, you didn't have much time to think after that, not with how quickly and easily his fingers slipped inside of you. He increased his pace in increments, just watching you tug at your restraints and writhe. He very much liked hearing your moans and whimpers. He still looked smug, and watched as you slowly were brought closer and closer to the edge by his hand. And right as you reached that precipice, he stopped touching you entirely.

You’d stopped looking at him ages ago, eyes closed while he had played you like a finely tuned instrument. He really was good with his hands. Now, your eyes snapped open as you heard shuffling, and the rustling of fabric. You could only peer helplessly up at him. There wasn't enough of whatever had been clouding your mind to dampen the feeling of dread that crawled up your spine.

“Be a good girl for me,” Epel smiled gently for the first time that evening, pressing an almost chaste kiss to your lips. You could feel his erection pressing up against you, and his hands cupping your face. “I don’t want to hurt you...much more than necessary, anyway.”

You didn’t hear those last words.

And you hoped you could try to match Epel.

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rosemarypasta · 4 years ago

Text

monday afternoons ♡ 10 (end)

➤ pairing : oikawa tooru x female reader (karasuno manager)

➤ chapter warnings : slowburn (?). teensy tiny manga spoiler that you probably won’t even notice

➤ summary : You just recently joined the Karasuno boy’s volleyball team as their first year manager. As you grow closer to your teammates, you also unexpectedly grow closer to one of their biggest rivals, Oikawa Tooru

➤ chapter word count: 1708

♡ masterpost ♡

-ˏˋ chapter tenˊˎ-

FRIDAY

5:48 PM

“All right everyone! Let’s start cleaning up!” Daichi announced after Coach Ukai finished wrapping up the day’s training session. You got up from the floor and did as you were told, grabbing the first crate of water bottles so you can clean them in the tap outside of the gym.

“Today is more peaceful than usual huh, Y/N-san?” Yamaguchi smiled, bending down to pick up the second crate of bottles, “Of course Noya-san and Tanaka-san was loud as ever but Hinata and Kageyama’s noisiness is just on a whole ‘nother level right?” He chuckled at his absent teammates. “Yeah.” You smiled back as you thought of the two first years who got held back by their teacher because they flopped in their test big time. Both you and Yamaguchi would kill to see the duo’s faces when Ono sensei told them that they would have to skip club activities and retake the test.

“But since Kageyama got held back, that would mean you would be going home alone again! Will you be okay? I’m sure Tsukki wouldn’t mind if you walked home with us!” He furrowed his brows, looking at you with concern. “I’ll be fine! Nothing happened yesterday anyway.” You lied through your teeth, recalling your memories of the third year Seijoh student waiting for you in front of the school gates. Though, you weren’t in any imminent danger so you comforted yourself with that thought as you lied to your friend.

The clean up session went by smoothly as usual and you said your goodbyes to your teammates to welcome the weekend. Yamaguchi was still concerned over you as you waved at him but thankfully Tsukishima dragged him off before he could ask you to walk home with him again.

The walk home was relaxingly quiet, only filled with the sound of your own footsteps and muffled car sounds from a distant street. You’ve been distracted the whole day as your brain kept replaying your encounter with Iwaizumi. And as if the world hasn't given you enough of your daily dose of Seijoh students, they decided to throw in another one different from last time.

Your feet stopped moving as the image of a brunette boy standing with his face down in front of your house. You couldn’t see his face and his hair was slightly different from usual but you knew who he was.

“What the fuck.” was all you managed to say as you stand steps away from the uninvited moping boy. As soon as the words left your mouth, the boy whipped his head up towards you, showing his dark circles even from afar.

“Y/N! I-” He started, about to run towards you but stopped last second as he saw your bewildered expressions on your face. You hated how seeing his hurt expression made you subconsciously feel bad for him. You weren’t supposed to feel any pity for him whatsoever but staying angry felt like the hardest thing to do in the moment.

Oikawa looked up towards you once again, his eyes slightly red, hesitating before speaking again. “Please let me explain. I know I’m supposed to do this ages ago but p-please.” His voice breaking towards the end.

You bit your lip as you let him continue.

“I was an idiot. I know I was. I took out my childish and petty anger towards Kageyama onto you because I’m such a selfish asshole.” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know how much you know but considering how you ghosted me, I guess you know the main idea. Yes, I did want to mess with you and pretend to be interested in you.”

Your breath hitched as all the thoughts in your mind were true. He had always been faking it and never found you remotely attractive. He only saw you as a toy to play with. You didn’t know who to be more mad at. Him or you for getting ahead of yourself and thinking you even had a chance with Oikawa.

“And I never meant to fall in love with you,” His voice was soft but was still plenty loud enough for you to hear.

“But I did.”

You cocked your head forward in shock. You stared at the boy in front of you without blinking, “I-I’m sorry, what?”

“I love you, Y/N.” His voice broke again. “I know what I’m saying is so unfair and so ridiculously insensitive but I’m telling the truth. I do love you.”

He took a deep breath as he fiddled with his fingers. His breath was shaky and his shoulders sagged low. “I only meant to go out with you a couple of times but time flies by so fast and I unconsciously kept asking you out because I wanted to see you so much. Being with you was so unexpectedly fun and you were just amazing to spend time with. I loved being with you so much that every Monday afternoon I would sprint my way to the station so I could see you quicker. I would fall on my way sometimes but I didn’t care. I just wanted to see you.”

You were speechless. All you could do was stare at him with your mouth hanging wide open. You were feeling an array of emotions ranging from confusion and glee.

“So please, Y/N.” He cried out softly as he started to slowly walk over to you, “let me make it up to you.”

“Give me a chance to make it up to you.” He grasped your idle hands and brought it up to his face where you felt his hot cheeks and tears against your bare hands.

MONDAY 3:10 PM

“Eh? Brazil? That’s so far away!” Yamaguchi stared at the red haired boy with bewildered eyes.

“Yep! I guess I won’t be attending get-togethers in the future.” Hinata smiled.

Two and a half years have passed. The third years and second years have long graduated and left the club in the first year’s hands. You’ve gone through all highs and lows of high school with the other four boys.

Two and a half years ago, you wouldn’t think you could fall in love with a sport you can’t even play. No matter how hard the boys tried their best at coaching you, you still can’t manage to spike a ball without somehow hitting it out of bounds.

“You sure you don’t want to come with us instead and get ramen, Y/N?” Hinata pouted as the five of you were inching towards the school gates.

“I’m sorry guys, but I really have to pass.” You sighed though a soft smile was evident on your face. “And Hinata, don’t get too attached to me, a certain someone will get jealous.”

“Nah he wouldn’t get jealous, that’s ridicu-”

“I would tho.”

The four of you stopped in your tracks to turn towards the setter who evidently looked confused. “Wow, never thought the king would be the jealous type,” Tsukishima scoffed, “gross.”

“What! How could you get jealous over that! I’ve watched you walk Y/N home for three years now and I’ve never said anything!” The red head bickered, punching the setter playfully on the stomach.

“T-That’s because I’m a man!”

“Damn, Kageyama, did Nishinoya-san teach you that?” Yamaguchi laughed at the odd character the raven haired setter had adopted last second.

“Sorry guys, I gotta run.” You loved spending time with your teammates especially how they get to be their rowdy selves since they finally got away from their juniors after retiring from the club but you forced yourself to pull away just for the day as you caught a glimpse of the familiar man waving at you from outside of school grounds.

“Hmph, fine.” Hinata pouted, crossing his arms dramatically.

“Later.”

“See you tomorrow Y/N!”

“Bye.”

You waved back to all of them before turning at your heel to run towards the man up front. “I’m sorry, Hinata forgot his wallet so we had to wait for him.” You explained out of breath.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Oikawa hummed as he patted your head. “Should we go?” He smiled at you, opening the passenger seat of his door to which you smiled back and nodded at.

The rest of the boys watched as the car they were so used to seeing picking you up grew smaller and smaller in the horizon. Yamaguchi’s eyes wandered over to his blonde friend who looked more fixated at the car than the other two were.

“Tsukki? You okay?” The retired captain said softly over the background of the bickering middle blocker and setter.

“I’m fine.” Tsukishima sighed, a forced smile crept up his face.

6:49 PM

“Hey.” You called out.

“Hm?” Oikawa’s muffled voice replied.

“Remember how we first met?” You said absentmindedly as you scrolled through your phone. OIkawa’s head finally left the crook of your neck and his brilliant brown eyes met yours.

“I wish I could. I was such an idiot.” He muttered before diving under the covers of his bed. You sighed in satisfaction. You loved bringing that topic up because you knew how much he hated it and how he acts all flustered about it. It was truly one of the rare ways to see the different and vulnerable side of Oikawa you rarely get to see.

“But you’re my idiot.” You hummed, diving under the covers as well before showering his head with kisses.

“You’re cruel.” He pouted. Though it was dark under the covers, his perfectly soft lips still glistened. You leaned in to give him a soft peck, “But you love me”

Oikawa’s fingers traced your jawline before cupping your cheeks, bringing them closer towards him before giving you a long sweet kiss. The butterflies in your stomach went crazy as soon as your lips got in contact with his again. No matter how many times you’ve done it before, the butterflies never seem to disappear.

“I love you, Y/N.” He messily slurred out as he pulled out from the kiss, a string of saliva connecting your lips to his.

“I love you too, Tooru.” You giggled before going in for another kiss on another fine Monday afternoon.

previous: -ˏˋ chapter nine ˊˎ-

A/N:

Gah! It’s finally done! My first ever Haikyuu fic is completed :’)

I started to write the plot three months ago and I never knew it would get any attention what so ever lmao. And honestly, I don’t know how my first fic would be a reader x oikawa one cause I truly hated Oikawa’s guts three months ago but I guess that hatred translated a bit to the plot. (I don’t hate him anymore uwu he’s baybe to me now)

I even impulsively added a lil kagehina for some spice HAHAHA and um someone get a love interest for Tsukki ASAP!!!

But thank you so much for reading this! I never thought I would get so much support on this and I plan on making even more fics!

I’m sorry if there was more drama and minimal fluff with Oikawa :’) And sorry if you thought the ending was rushed but I tried my best and I’ll try even harder next time!

Though I plan on making more x reader content, I’ll probably release more ship ff (mainly tsukkiyama, kuroken & bokuaka maybe?) Since that’s what im more good at.

Thank you everyone and I hope to see you in my next project!

(also i haven’t proof read this cuz i’m sleep deprived rn and i have school tomorrow so forgive me for any mistakes)

tag list (let me know if you want to stay on my normal tag list):

@hey-there-demonss @bumbledunce @teasbees-knees @angrylittlezizi @hvneymun @yeetabish @fandomlover-universe @air-wreckaa @siriiel

#oikawatoru_mondayafternoons #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #oikawa x reader #oikawa toru #oikawa tooru #tooru oikawa #kageyama tobio #tsukishima kei #yamaguchi tadashi #hinata shoyo #oikawa #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #fan fiction #haikyuu fan fiction #haikyuu!! imagines #haikyuu imagines

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sidecarghost · 4 years ago

Text

Spn 15x18 spoilers below

Dean can’t reciprocate: Spn Meta on Romance as the language of the soul or alt theory Aro Dean

So the 15x18 script had line about Dean can’t reciprocate. And I thought hmmm.... prob just like everyone else and here are my two cents.

Dean can’t reciprocate because:

He only ever thought of Cas as friend and would never want to pursue any relationship more than that.

He is aro and he doesn’t connect with romantic attraction. And this is absolutely fine!

He has denied and repressed any romantic urges and numbed himself to them. Big diff between this and Aro because Aro is natural and valid but repressing romantic attraction is not.

He was like wtf is happening right now. I need time to process.

I am Destiel shipper so obviously hard no to #1, but that is a completely valid opinion just not one I share. But I refuse to even enumerate any opinion of Dean being offended by the declaration. #4 could be case and with more time Dean would have reciprocated. But for this post I’m really focusing in on #3 and maybe a little #2.

In my opinion, Aro Dean is not a Destiel deal breaker. I think Dean and Cas can still have beautiful relationship with platonic love and sexual attraction and low to none romantic attraction on Dean’s side.

Really the purpose of meta was to poke at possibility of romantically repressed Dean. And the convo Famine had with Dean way back in season 5 came to mind.

Notes: I am awful at meta, so take this entire dump with grain of salt. Just some things I noticed while thinking about Dean’s romantic identity and making metaphorical comparisons to heart, romantic soul, and will power from a couple scenes in Spn.

Metaphors under consideration from Spn scenes

Heart

associated with acts of caring that are selfless and kind (like saying someone has a big heart)

Will power

Driving yourself to get your shit done.

In Dean’s case his will power is typically fueled by hate and anger because he is a monster hunter and his anger keeps him going even when he wants to give up.

Romantic soul

your romantic connection to other people (i. e. soulmate) and doesn’t necessarily have to be sexual.

Spn 5x14 Famine talks to Dean about his broken, empty soul

FAMINE: hunger doesn't just come from the body, it also comes from the soul.

DEAN: It's funny, it doesn't seem to be coming from mine.

FAMINE: Yes. I noticed that. Have you wondered why that is? How you could even walk in my presence?

DEAN: Well, I like to think it's because of my strength of character.

FAMINE: I disagree. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN: Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE: Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. You're not hungry, Dean, because inside, you're already...dead.

Spn 15x18 Castiel talks about Dean including how he sees himself and how loving he really is

CASTIEL: you see yourself the same way our enemies see you. you’re destructive and you’re angry and you’re broken... you’re daddy’s little blunt instrument. and you think that hate and anger, that’s what drives you, that’s who you are. it’s not. everyone who knows you sees it. everything you’ve ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. you raised your little brother for love, you fought for this whole world for love. that is who you are. you are the most caring man on earth. you are the most selfless, loving human being i will ever know.

Romantic Identity Thoughts for Dean

I agree with popular opinion that Dean reads like a bisexual character, but his romantic identity doesn’t necessarily have to match. And I think so far he doesn’t seem to fit label of biromantic. Like biromantic is possibility if Dean is just repressing his romantic urges because he has numbed his soul to all feelings per Famine’s monologue. Or just we haven’t seen it on show but Dean does feel that way. But I think some other labels may be better fit for Dean.

Dean is really good at all the platonic aspects of love. Like Castiel said Dean has a big heart. platonic love is very selfless. It is driving to help a friend, sharing interests, caring about each other’s wellbeing, being there to support them, and protectiveness. At its purest it is selfless and expects nothing in return. Pure platonic love is not jealous love. You don’t get jealous about the recepient spending time with others. You are also typically okay when they are gone. And that plays back well with Castiel’s speech in 15x18. Just aside, Dean being really good at platonic love is important if you read Castiel as demiromantic because Castiel would need a strong friendship before he feels any kind of romantic attraction.

Dean also enjoys casual sex and shows signs of sexual attraction for men and women. Although the show has only established female sex partners so far, that does not mean he isn’t attracted to men too. And there have been instances in show that read as sexually attracted to men.

But even though Dean has had multiple sexual relationships on the show, Dean has no canon romantic attraction. Other than the weird witch sisters when he was hexed in 13x12. That curse was first time Dean was in romantic love, and it wasn’t consensual which sucks but non-con is a common spn theme.

Maybe it could be argued Cassie and Lisa were romantic love interests. But I dunno he kind of just left them without any noticeable regrets. So it seemed like Dean enjoyed protecting them, being a good friend, and having sex with them, but there was no soul yearning romantic aspect to the relationship. These weren’t woman that he couldn’t live without. Their loss didn’t crush his soul.

But then there is Castiel. And each time Castiel is lost Dean falls apart. This tough hunter that tragically gives last rites to his family and friends on a daily basis becomes a sop of hurt and angst when Castiel is gone. Those are very romantic feelings. Then Dean seems to bounce back to happiness once Cas comes back. So maybe Famine was wrong or lied because Spn monsters seem to get retconned into lying quite a bit, or maybe Dean has already started to explore and nurture his own romantic identity or in Spn Famine terms soul.

Also Romantic love often tends to be jealous and possessive. Like Famine said this is a hunger, and it can be this wild, ravenous thing. So by Castiel calling out all Dean’s selfless acts it kind of resonates with Dean not having a current romantic partner and that being something Castiel wants for Dean.

Anyway, romantic identity and sexual identity don’t have to match. So Dean can be bisexual and homoromantic or bisexual and aro. I am thinking demi-, or homo-, or biromantic, because Dean does seem to experience some very romantic feelings for Castiel (i.e. touches, looks, romantic squabbles, and the overwhelming need for Castiel to be around). If Dean tells Castiel that he just doesn’t feel the connection to love speeches and romantic thoughts then aromantic may actually be a better fit for him.

There is even a WTFromantic that is meant for people that can’t feel romantic attraction because the things in their life have overwhelmed them to the point that the concept of romantic attraction is just completely inaccessible to them. And I dunno, but that label seems pretty descriptive of Dean too.

So Dean may not be able to reciprocate romantic feelings because he has made a conscious decision to just repress all romantic attraction as much as possible per Famine monologue. Even tho Famine talk was 10 years ago Dean still has same problems. He is going through motions, as in 15x17 where he denies there even is a case to solve. He is fueled by anger and hate. Right before Cas’s romantic declaration, Dean is talking about all he feels is angry and bloodthirsty. So that empty soul that has been denied every desire may still be mangled and hurting. Dean just needs to confess he isn’t coping and get help.

Or Dean may identify as a character that doesn’t connect romantically, if Dean is aro then there was nothing ever wrong with him because that is valid and no one should push him to act in a way that isn’t natural for him. And I specifically tried to use romantic soul, because I don’t mean to make any kind of comparison to romantic attraction and the immortal soul like that is totally separate concept.

Anyway, I kind of feel like the show is setting it up as former and that by calling Dean broken it is describing him as repressed romantically and maybe the next couple episodes are him coming to terms with that aspect of himself. Like he’s been running on anger for so long maybe time to do some soul searching.

Disclaimer: romantic and sexual identity labels are not meant to be prescriptive, they are just supposed to help describe your truth so you can have a language that describes your own personal identity and you know you are not alone and you have a community. I would never apply them to other people, but Dean is fictional and interesting so I thought I’d try to dig at what the writers and actors were doing to either consciously or unconsciously give Dean his own romantic and sexual identity.

#spn meta #destiel meta #Destiel #spn spoilers #15x18 #Spn spec #romantic questioning Dean #demiromantic bisexual Dean #aro bisexual Dean #Dean is queer #Dean cannot reciprocate

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wigglebox · 5 years ago

Note

tbh i feel like the odd one out cause saileen endgame makes No sense to me lol. i loveee eileen and im glad shes back, but like. two episodes of cute interactions a few seasons ago feels weird for an endgame ship. i hope she gets a good storyline tho! i feel like im crazy for reading so much into samwitch now i guess but im losing my mind over getting witch!sam finally!!! i just hope everyone ends up happy!

That’s okay! I’ve seen a couple people with that sentiment around here, but more on Twitter. This is kind of how I’m seeing it, and forgive me for using your ask to kind of speak to a more general audience – and I will also admit I have a Saileen lense on.

I also implore anyone else to add their thoughts to this if you want. I know I didn’t cover everything.

This is VERY long.

Also, in this case, we’re talking about two female characters and their relation to a male who is a lead character. I also want to make the disclaimer that I do not look at Rowena and Eileen as only being around for a relationship, but as their own characters.

The first thing I want everyone to do is to perish the episode count from their mind because it doesn’t matter the number of episodes that they’re in. What matters is the substance and the characters. So, when I get to Eileen, I will go over her episodes.

ROWENA

I’m going to talk about Rowena first. I love her, I still love her, and it’s my personal speculation that she will become Queen of Hell.

I do not call what Rowena did “fridged”. What Rowena did was decide that it was time for what was prophecized to her to come true. She decided that. She told Sam that she believed in magic and prophecies. She was okay with her choice, and she was still alive when she fell in the pit.

They both knew how she was going to die at some point, and Sam was going to be that reason.

‘Funeralia’ 13x19

Rowena: I’m not afraid and as much as I enjoy our little talks…you can’t stop me.Sam: Actually, we can.Rowena: And what makes you think that?Dean: Because every version of your death, your real, permanent death… Sam’s the one that kills you.Rowena: I see.Sam: Yep, but it’s not gonna happen tonight.

That’s not fridging.

To me, and I guess to people on google too, fridging is supposed to push someone’s story forward. Jess pushed Sam, Mary pushed John – but Rowena’s death didn’t push Sam’s story anywhere action-wise (unless it was straight into depression aggain).

Did her death cause pain? Yes. Was she a love interest? No. I’m sorry but she wasn’t. It would have been neat if she was, but she was never framed as one. I’m not attempting to invalidate Sam/Rowena at all because damn, for a while there I was rooting for it and his pain over her death was pretty hard (I’ll get back to this in a minute), but the fact remains that Rowena was sexy, flirty, and very unattached to everything. I mean, in the end, she was attached to the boys but still had her own place, did her own thing, and helped when asked. She does love, we do know that, but privately with a high guard.

At this point I’m going to link to this thread where @occamshipper goes into it a little more.

She was more of a mentor than a lover, to me and to others. They started as hostile towards each other, and they grew into friends. Was there a little hint of an extra amount of love, adoration, and respect than normal friends? Yes, I also believe that, but I mostly believe that if Sam/Rowena were going to happen, if she didn’t die, they’d have to spend a lot of time this season skewing their relationship to a more romantic one.

I think another thing that attracted people to this ship was that there was a very obvious trope to latch onto: Enemies to Lovers.

Now, to Rowena’s death. Sam, three episodes later, is still in mourning and is very sad over it, but I also feel like there are multiple layers here (that there has to be meta out there but I just don’t have any on hand).

The big thing this season, along with love, is what’s real and fake and free will. A platitude that Dean resorted to when trying to “comfort” Sam in 15x03 was “You didn’t have a choice”. Sam didn’t like that. He also didn’t like the conversation at the end of 15x04.

He’s suffering from more than just Rowena’s death, he’s also mourning the loss of agency, and that they know now there was a loss of agency thanks to God but there are still casualties because they don’t have a choice. They both had the knowledge of that prophecy, and the God bullshit, and they still couldn’t choose anything else but a violent death.

Loss of a mentor, loss of a friend, loss of someone who may have been slightly elevated higher than a friend (that depends on your view), and the loss of someone who had accepted their fate and didn’t believe she would have a choice and was at peace with it. Sam and Dean are not at peace with that sentiment at all.

Another hint we knew she was at peace with her fate is that she trusted Sam a lot in the end, so much so she allowed him access to her space, her apartment, where her things were, without injuring him. He was slated to kill her, and she believed that, but she still allowed them into her life, and proved her trust in the end.

So, Sam’s grief is nuanced. But yes, he was very upset at her death, and he had to feel the knife go in her and watch her walk to the pit. And it came at a bad time in his life as well.

But, I don’t believe Rowena’s death was to serve Sam’s pain. He wasn’t doing anything with that pain. He was still emo in 15x06 when he came across Rowena’s journals – her death pushed him to do nothing but be sad.

To me, no, not fridging. Not a love interest, and the episodes they had together just developed a relationship that you could ship, but you could also just keep as friends.

Rowena was a mentor, however, I don’t believe she died so Sam could use some magic. I believe she died because she’s going to be Queen of Hell. And technically, she was actually alive when she fell.

Eileen

I’m going to talk about her episodes and her instant pull with Sam and how it was very much intentional. I’m avoiding Dean/Cas parallels until the end because I am of the very strong opinion that while they share parallels the relationships are very much their OWN thing and Sam and Eileen can exist outside Dean/Cas.

Let’s talk about Eileen’s 3 1/8 episodes and relationships and her introduction to Sam. I want to stress that all this happens after ‘Baby’ 11x04, where there’s this exchange:

DEAN: Piper? That’s awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we’re lucky we still get that at all.

SAM: Really? You don’t – ever want something more?

DEAN: I’m sorry, have you met us? We’re batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs.

SAM: You don’t ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But … Something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life?

And then, you know, Dean deflects like the animal he is.

‘Into the Mystic. 11x11′

One of the most amazing things is just how normal their meeting is in 11x11 (make a wish! haha). It’s normal, and honestly? Despite the serious circumstances, it’s adorable as fuck. They are both there for a very serious matter, and it definitely NOT ‘love at first sight’, but just a normal encounter where Sam tried a small sign, and she corrected him before he could go away.

It was a cute moment because it extends past when said moment would ideally end, and the subject changes from the hunt/job to Sam already talking about some of his past (slight oversharing!). It’s a cute exchange. I really don’t even know how to explain it any better than that. It was a small exchange.

It was a spark. You’ll hear me say that a lot. Mostly on his end. She’s still pretty much in job mode.

SAM: Sorry, Uh…[Sam reads her name tag] Marlene, Special Agent Butler, FBI. Do you know anything about what happened with Arthur last night?

EILEEN: Sorry. I wasn’t working last night.

SAM: Oh. Um… Were you working the night Harold Miller died? [Eileen shakes her head no] All right. Thanks. [Sam tries to sign the word ‘thanks’]

EILEEN: It’s – [Marlene show Sam the correct way]

SAM: Right, of course. Uh, sorry. I only know a little. I took some back in college, but that was a while ago.

EILEEN: Most people don’t know any. I appreciate the trying. I should probably, uh, get back.

SAM: Yes. Uh, thank you.

[Sam walks back to Dean]

DEAN [looking towards Eileen] Witness?

SAM: No. Okay – So, apparently, not a ghost.

–

Tangent time: This is what I think also trips some people up –

Dean and Cas had a long long journey. Sam and Rowena had a number of episodes together. Everything is tropey. Sam and Rowena’s whole dynamic was Enemies to Friends or Lovers depending on who you ask.

There’s really no trope to Sam and Eileen, especially first meeting. Just an awkward boi. It’s not ‘love at first sight’. It’s not an intense meeting scene, it’s not in the midst of any action. It’s just – there. And that’s pretty refreshing in the face of overwhelming sadness this show dishes out.

But, I think the lack of trope and kind of a rulebook to follow especially with all the spelled out heterosexual stuff out there in tv and movieland, a meeting like this can be seen as casual, not a spark of something. But, watch this episode again. That chemistry is there.

And this is where I’m coming from when I say it’s not the amount of episodes that matters it’s what they consist of.

–

Their encounters are fun and by fun I mean she almost murders him, but you know, fun!

This is going to quickly turn into an Eileen character deep dive but I’m not going to apologize.

In 11x11, Into the Mystic, she shares a parallel with Sam and Dean which is a Supernatural killed her family and now she’s hunting it down. She’s smart, competent, and knows what she’s doing.

Also there’s this cute little exchange with Mildred, who, by the way, has a poignant conversation with Dean later:

[Mildred signs to Eileen ‘I got dibs on the other guy. You can have the tall one’]

[Mildred giggles as she signs ‘I’m not much of a mountain climber anymore’ and laughs]

[Eileen signs ‘Are you sure you don’t want both?’]

But we’ll get to that conversation in a second.

Sam and Eileen constantly have scenes together, and Dean and Lucifer!Cas do as well. Eileen gives her backstory, Sam tells her revenge doesn’t bring back her parents. They both share the same ‘family’ thing where all they are is really just photos (in Sam’s case, all his mom ever was, was photos and happy family life was just photos).

They share a heavy connection in that sense. I mean fuck she even says it’d be nice to follow in her mom’s footsteps when this was over and become a lawyer.

Like, they really set this up hard. It’s her own story, it’s her own background, but they share a likeness.

So here’s that little bit from Mildren to Dean

MILDRED: Nah. Nah, I had my fun. You want to know the secret to living a long and happy life?

DEAN: Actually, yes, I do.

MILDRED: [Placing her hand on Dean’s chest and patting it] Follow your heart. You do that, all the rest just figures itself out.

So yeah *Marge Simpson voice* I just think that’s neat!

So anyway, the banshee comes for Dean but we’re not gonna meta that because this isn’t about him.

Eileen kills the thing, tells Sam it feels like just another kill, and informs him that no she shan’t be going to law school, and this is her life and all that jazz. AND THEN WE GET THIS DORKY ASS EXCHANGE:

SAM Feel free to drop a line if you ever need anything… Or even if you just want to hang out.

EILEEN [smiling] You can’t call me, though.

SAM [smiles, laughs] Okay.

EILEEN I mean, you could call, but I won’t answer.

Literally ? ?? ? ? ? ? Honestly, anything that gets him to smile. And by now, she’s gotten to know him better and basically by this point in the episode I literally remember myself screaming “are you KIDDING me she’s ADORABLE” but in a way like she’ll def. kick my ass.

Again I stress, there was no OMG YES MARRY ME NOW vibes after one (1) episode, but if you go back and rewatch it you’ll see that spark. They literally went through the episode as it being a possibility to be followed up on, maybe, someday. She’s a hunter, descending from MoL, and they will cross paths.

Then we get Sam, post-hunt:

SAM You were right, by the way. Getting back on the job, it… It helped.

Then Sam adds a brochure from the retirement home to a box full of pictures of people he loves (also pictures of his family, call backs tooooooo earlier).

I remember my dash cooing at both of them this episode because it wasn’t like usual exchanges we have. It was goofy, cute, and just the VERY beginnings of some affectionate feelings (the amount you can get by just meeting someone for the first time). But, when you leave the episode you can tell she’s made a small little mark in the back of Sam’s mind that won’t go away.

“The British Invasion” 12x17

I told you this post was going to be long.

You think I’m lying when I say I’m going to go through everything? No. Because right now the question is “why Eileen”, so I’m demonstrating.

It’s been over a year since we’ve seen her at this point, but it honestly feels like this is def. not the first time in over a year since Sam has spoken with her. It’s nice because Facetime is the way they can communicate since a phone is out of the question which means they gotta look at each other which – idk again it’s cute fuck off. Also THIS post that kinda calls Eileen out for getting all made up for a fucking Facetime call made me laugh.

So yeah, she texts Sam in real time some security shot photos and sure, could have given his number a short time ago, maybe just before the call OOOOOOOOOR. They really just have been talking over the course of the year. Nothing too fancy, but that slow little build that we don’t see but we see the aftermath.

So yeah you get a conversation about Kelly Kline and then get this disgusting exchange, which again just signals to me that even after a year Sam still got one of those little fucking soft spots in his heart (and furthers my suspicious they do talk. Not on the regular but here and there and stuff. A smol crush if you will. Remember, they have a pretty equal past in terms of relatability and she’s a hunter who gets it. ‘It’ being ‘The Life’.)

Dean: Well, go get ‘em, Eileen.

Eileen: That’s the plan.

Dean gives Eileen the ‘thumbs up’ and Sam shifts the monitor back towards him.

Eileen: Bye, Sam.

Sam [smiling]: Bye.

Dean [smirking]: That’s cute.

Sam: Come on.

So yadda yadda Tea Time MoL and stuff and blahblah

Then we get to a nice scene once AGAIN demonstrating Eileen’s badassery, and her explaining how she tracked and hunted down a demon in relation to Kelly Kline. Good vibes, we got beer and happy lighting and smiles and laughs. She isn’t a stranger at all. This isn’t really like OMG ROMANCE but they are just present and there and it also really helps to continue Eileen as a very strong character in her own right and not boner fodder for the male lead.

This is just before the badassery story starts but yeah idk I just like it

Also love this little self-satisfied smile this is really just me crushing hard on her myself tbh. This is after a lil’ toast with Sam after she said she got Kelly’s number before killing the guy:

So we get this stuff too.

Sam: Right. I’m Sam. This is Eileen Leahy.

Renny: Ah, the banshee girl.

Eileen looks surprised.

Renny: We have a file. From what Mick tells me, neither of you have any formal training. Fascinating. I was top of my class at Kendricks…

Eileen: No one cares

Sam smirks.

It’s moments like these that remind us that Sam really does like Eileen like is amused by her, respects her, and yes I’m going to say has a lil’ bit of a crush on her. Just a bit. He’s always smiling around her, and how often do we see smiles? Smirks? Little escapes of laughter. Like come oN – come on. It’s very clear, even over the course of an episode and a half and a complete year apart that there is room for Eileen in Sam’s heart and mind.

Then the thing with Kelly and Dagon happen and Eileen accidentally kills Renny, sealing her fate with Tea Time MoL – I will say I loved Mick in the end because he refused to kill her. Anddddd Sam is pretty much begging Mick not to kill Eileen and it makes me Emo ™.

Sam: Mick, Mick, listen to me. Mick, look, I know you guys have this Men of Letters Code you blindly answer to, but… look, you don’t have to do that, Mick. You’re better than that. You only have to answer to yourself. You only have to do what you know is right. You only have to answer to your own code.

So Mick lets them go, working against his own code of conduct drilled into his brain.

And then, a few scenes later, we get this comfort scene which we’ve seen over the years, but in terms of Eileen, since we’re talking about her character, it’s the first time we’ve seen her emotionally vulnerable like this. In 11x11 she was partially there when relaying her history but it wasn’t like this. She first wants to say yes, she’s fine, because she’s probably used to just constantly saying “yes, I’m fine” in order to get through things. But, this time she can’t say it and switches track almost instantly because she feels comfortable opening up with these two. NOT strangers – and again I’ll say, they have communicated over the year and a half we didn’t see her. D:

And uh idk I’m a sucker FOR COMFORT GESTURES. And like ???? Again, it’s weirdly sweet. He didn’t have to sign. It’s nice he did but she would have understood him if he didn’t but he still did and I’m like – crying. Mark another line in the “respect” column.

Once again, I say I am Emo TM:

Dean: You okay?

Eileen [nodding yes, but then shaking her head]: No. He wasn’t a monster. He was – I –

Sam: Hey… [signing and speaking] It was a mistake.

So, he says later on in the last scene that she’s going back to Ireland for some chill time. Considering Dean didn’t know that, I find it sweet and comforting that Sam still checks up on her and not as an obligation, but as a friend and someone who again AGAIN has a soft spot. This isn’t pity, this is genuine care.

So I’ll round that out by saying: There’s that spark, and the spark was still there, now emerging as some small embers that got stalled by the events of the episode, but they are still very much there.

“There’s Something About Mary” 12x21

I want to point out that this episode was co-produced by Meredith Glynn, who wrote 15x06.

Oof, this episode. I’ll state right now I don’t hate bucklemming episodes, and her death made sense in the narrative (wronged Tea Time MoL and a target was out for all hunters) but man – using an invisible dog when the target is Deaf is pretty fucking horrible.

Anyway. I cried.

Naturally, we’re going to be looking at Sam’s reactions in here and it’s not overt like WE’RE GONNA D E S T R O Y E V E R Y T H I N G but you can tell he’s upset, and while it doesn’t push him into a revenge arc, it does help push him into some action, at least in anger.

Now, my putting in the dialogue and a screenshot won’t really do any justice, and I know people like to avoid these episodes but I suggest a rewatch regardless:

SAM: Um, when? What the hell happened? Oh, no. No - Yeah, thanks for letting me know. Bye.

DEAN: Who?

SAM: Eileen.

DEAN: How?

SAM: She was, uh, mauled by a wild animal in a wooded area that doesn’t have animals that do that, in South Carolina.

DEAN: But I thought she was in Ireland. Sam…

SAM: Dean, that’s the second Hunter death we’ve heard about in two weeks.

I would ask you just at least watch this little bit because his reaction is very much of someone trying to keep his reaction under control – and Dean notices and is even about to say something but Sam changes the subject to the overall problem. It’s a small exchange, but it’s pretty clear that it’s like “Once again, someone I care about even a little bit is taken away.”

So then we go to the morgue and like – again. Reaction. Dean’s also watching him because, obviously, he knows. Excuse the cobbling together of screencaps.

Specifically also, this little bit at the end of this dialogue:

SAM: Dean, monsters and demons don’t team up. Seven Hunters are gone. We can’t grab a signal from Mom’s phone. Cass has Kelly Kline who knows where. Mick has slipped off the grid. Ketch is lying to us… I wanna punch something in the face.

It’s just all starting to get overwhelming and they were aware of the other thing and it is insinuated that Eileen’s death kinda just tipped him over a little. But he’s maintaining control, which is good. Also part of me is wondering if he’s afraid of demonstrating an overreaction. There’s no overt romantic relationship going on, but again, there were embers that were just beginning and it was cute as fuck and it was happy (even if 12x17 ended on a sad note). A full-blown punch-fest post Eileen’s death would reveal one of two things:

Emotions he wasn’t aware of himself

Emotions he was aware of but was trying to hide because he felt it was inappropriate to feel something too intense too fast. (He’s a GENTLEMAN, EXCUSE ME).

So more stuff – Lucifer lalala, Crowley lalala (liar), Tea Time MoL lala –

Then we get to the fact that Eileen sent a letter a week prior asking to stay with the guys because she was scared the Tea Drinking Assholes were going to come get her, tapped her phone, everything.

I don’t even like, need to explain the reaction. Here are just some caps.

This is some guilt, and they both have guilt but this is some guilt. Also this is the last time technically he hears from her which hurts even more. He was confused about why she wasn’t in Ireland anymore and seemed annoyed and angry when the question was brought up, and now this was his answer.

This actually goes along with some meta stuff I wrote just after the episode, and why this always had this underlying romance potential. Am I happy with fridging? No, but it’s also a pattern with Sam and it sucks but, it’s the manner of helplessness and having people he cares about taken away from him without a choice or without being able to do anything with it. This is when I would put Rowena in there, in the column of women who do care about him and he cares about them (just not as romantically as others):

Jess - pinned to a ceiling and burned. Not much he could do there despite him thinking he could go back in annnd… do what exactly?

Madison - well that’s just painful so let’s not talk about it too much but there was really nothing else he could do to his knowledge.

Sarah - Can I just state, for the record, how much I loved 1x19 and their dynamic? Anyway – he had to literally watch as she basically asphyxiated. He couldn’t do anything about, both of them unable to find the hex bag until after.

Eileen - As highlighted in 12x21, she sent them a letter they didn’t see until it was too late. He was helpless and couldn’t do anything about it.

Rowena - Didn’t have a choice. By his hand again, but she knew it was coming and accepted it, which somehow makes it all even worse huh. (Obviously comes after Eileen already died so).

Two people I’m NOT including:

Amelia - Didn’t die, but I’m also not convinced it was that much of a romance anyway, more akin to the Lisa theme of “just trying to move on but failing”.

Ruby - Also doesn’t count. Was a villain and manipulated the fuck out of him.

So, this letter in his hand and that look on his face is just painful. It’s one of those situations where you’re probably going: What if I just spoke with her a little more often, what if we checked the mail sooner, what if the postal service was a little faster –

A lot of “what ifs” but you can’t go back in time and fix it and now this fantastic hunter who was marked by psychopaths, and this person that Sam literally had an instant spark with, is gone.

That fucking sucks.

(Something else I want to add: Glynn co-produced 12x21 and wrote 15x06, and the shot of Eileen on the morgue table vs Eileen in the tub with the water was interesting to me. Anyway).

Later on, they have a gun pointed to Toni and Sam doesn’t ask “Have you been killing the hunters”, he asks specifically about Eileen. Top of mind.

So now we’re onto -

‘Golden Time’ 15x06

There are metas on metas on this, so right off the bat, I’m going to link some:

This exchange by @tinkdw and @drsilverfish on Sam and friendships and relationships

This post by myself, @occamshipper and @7faerielights on how if Dean and Cas basically had an episode like 15x06 instead of Sam and Eileen, we’d be screaming canon canon canon canon canon!

This post where Meredith talks a little more about the episode, including Eileen.

The initial meta I wrote right after the episode.

Right, so, I don’t have to go super in-depth with this since it’s being talked about a lot. BUT – I wanted to point some things out:

- They spent an entire episode (when the episode focused on them, and not Cas) focusing on getting Eileen back. It was Sam’s motivator and cause for action. Then, the whole scene of her coming back to life was 1) Long 2) Intimate and 3) Poignant. What’s my point? Point is they didn’t go through all that effort just to have her killed off permanently. Now, I can’t vouch for the future, but I do know she isn’t going to be killed off permanently, meaning if it appears she dies in the future, she will not remain that way. There was too much put on this episode for them to basically turn around and say: None of it mattered. More specifically: Bucklemming won’t be killing her in 15x08.

- Compare and see the contrast to Jess. And I’m bringing up Jess because Sam brought her up in 15x04, just recently, as something he still has problems getting over (like I highlighted in my post right after the episode, Jess was a relationship started on a Demon introducing them, Sam was being watched, everything was still being planned out and schemed behind his back. Jess was an unfortunate casualty of all of that).

When comparing the scenes, it’s actually pretty amazing: Fire vs Water, Death vs Rebirth, Helplessness vs Taking Action. Even so much as Eileen facing UP and Jess facing DOWN. It’s the direct opposite of where we first started with Sam at the very beginning of the show, and so far this season has had a lot of nostalgic callbacks.

- Eileen’s role this episode, and in her other one, wasn’t to feed into Sam’s own storyline. They run together, but she doesn’t exist for him. In this episode, it’s Sam who worked for her, essentially. She worked with him to bring herself back into the narrative, and she kicked ass while doing it, working in tandem. If ever their narratives tilt to serve the other, then in this case, Sam’s narrative tilted to serve Eileen’s instead of the other way around which is what we often see with Het. pairings in TV shows and movies (and with fridging! :D)

- A lot of people were talking about this specific parallel with Destiel, a small thing, where those who have some pining in them see a person who they care a lot about appearing before them – but I also want to compare it to the end of ‘Bloody Mary’ 1x05 where after Sam deals with secrets, and guilt, and lotsa guilt, he sees Jess as they drive off. So you got a double parallel there. What’s that called in geometry? Is there a term? IDK.

- Last, that whole scene of Eileen coming back was something else. Here’s a gifset if you need to remember it. It was intimate. A lot of people when they hear “intimate” they assume “intimate with each other” aka “sex, making out, glued together in some other way”, but intimacy isn’t always that. In this case, this is what made it so: Quiet, privacy, soft physical interaction before falling into a deeper one, and a mutual understanding that they now had something between them that was larger than before. GIFSET FOR MEMORY. I also just want to include this cap because I can.

The initial touch to make sure “yes, real” along with the embrace was also poignant in being pushed up against Dean’s statement at the end of “I don’t know what’s God and what’s not”. Dean is still struggling with real and fake because he hasn’t been able to have the same experience as Sam who got to see everything unfold under his watch and his own thoughts and actions. He got to touch something real, make something that wasn’t there, there. He made something real happen.

Dean hasn’t gotten there yet, as highlighted by that bathroom shot right next to Dean alone, at the map table (perspective from the stairs by the door too, that’s sad), with an empty chair near him, looking grumpy as fuck. He hasn’t gotten to real yet. He hasn’t found his “real” anchor, which is Cas let’s be honest with ourselves. Sam literally got to see his manifest before him.

I could honestly just hug Meredith for not going over the top. I feel like, in other shows and movies, if this scene were to happen and the female character comes out with no clothing on and wrapped in a towel and It’s In The Moment, there’s like a make-out session or a declaration of love – and we didn’t get that. And I’m so happy we didn’t get that. The embers that were left to die have been rekindled with fresh flames and now we’re seeing them grow.

This all leads me to:

Some Dean/Cas Parallels

I am going to admit to you right now, this is a weak spot for me, grabbing parallels out of my memory. Usually, they are only triggered by seeing a post or just as I’m settling down for the night and my brain beats me over the head with it as I slip into unconsciousness.

So, I’m going to only focus really on this episode. I know they were there in season 11 and 12, but I don’t have the knowledge to really remember.

If anyone can reblog with their own knowledge on parallels, that would be fantastic!

Let’s focus, instead, on this episode, and what my monkey brain picked up on:

- Eileen is coming up from Hell, and Sam assisted her, literally bringing her back out of Hell | ‘Lazarus Rising’ 04x01 for Dean/Cas.

- This thematic parallel of slow intimacy. You watch the scene when Eileen returns and go “Oh! That’s soft! And intimate!”. We’ve had those scenes plenty with Dean and Cas over the last 11 years to the point I don’t even think I can list them all. It wasn’t always to the same caliber, meaning sometimes there was just more emotionally charged things going on, frustration or anger or adoration, but both sides here have shared intimate scenes (including in 11x11 with Sam and Eileen and would have been with Dean and Cas has Lucifer NOT been there).

- The slow burn in general. It’s not going to be the same amount of slow-burn a Dean and Cas because that has gone on for a while, but Sam and Eileen are clearing going to take their time here.

- The thing I linked above where you see the person you love in some way or form appears before you.

- Again pointing back to the ‘Real vs Fake’ thing. Dean’s problem for the last 6 episodes is this existential doom he keeps trying to wrestle with (and not in the sexy way). Sam gets to touch someone who wasn’t tangible in previous scenes, and knows she is now real and he had something to do with it, he got to see the process and participated it in it. There was no “poof! she’s here!”.

How that’s a parallel is that Cas left in 15x03 and we’ve all been saying that Dean is struggling with real vs fake, yes, but one of the real vs fake things he’s struggling with is that he doesn’t know if Cas is ‘real or fake’ in the sense of “did everything over the last decade just not matter and now everything that I’ve felt build over that time is useless garbage and it was one of the things I was holding on to”. Here’s a little gifset to make it more painful.

- Whatever tropes Sam/Eileen do fall onto, Dean and Cas have already fucking hoarded them all so it’s always going to seem like a parallel. Sam and Eileen aren’t overly tropey, instead, kind of existing in this mellow space.

But, with every parallel, there is an equal point of them being their own thing, and not tied to another pairing, which is exactly how it should be.

These relationships can bounce against each other with parallels, but they aren’t a duplicate or stacking on top of each other. They are very much their own thing, and each has their own way of going about things.

Sam and Eileen had an instant connection meanwhile Cas threatened to throw Dean back into Hell.

Cas didn’t stay dead.

Dean and Cas are actually more physical with each other.

And just time. One has had more time and the other has not.

——–

So, in the end, Eileen has always been geared to being Sam’s love interest BUT not in a cheesy, stupid, macho dumb way. She is her own character with her own story.

Rowena is very much the same. Neither of them existed as boner fodder.

But, when it comes to WHY DIDN’T THEY MAKE SAM/ROWENA A THING - it’s because it was never meant to be. Rowena was flirty, liked Sam in the end and he liked her and they had a connection but it was never set up like Eileen was. I’m sorry (I liked the ship though!).

Not saying she only existed to pass down knowledge to Main Male Character And Now She’s Useless – again you know my theory that she died for a reason, and I feel like yes she will be Queen of Hell.

I know a lot of people were banking on Sam/Rowena this season, and hell I was even pushing for it, not because Rowena is defaulted to love interest but because she had a lot of time with Sam.

But, and hopefully, I pointed this out, the amount of episodes doesn’t matter. What matters is what they contain, how the characters behave with each other, and so on and so forth. (Side note, we are BLESSED with such talented actors).

Eileen has had barely over 3 episodes (only 3 if you don’t want to count 12x21, and I won’t blame you), but those episodes were packed with all sorts of signals, clues, hints, and small sparks that lit the fire that now has room to grow.

I hope I convinced you to give it a shot, anon.

213 notes · View notes

melonkooky · 5 years ago

Text

i like you [jung hoseok]

requested

word count: 3295

genre: hoseok x female reader, fluff, friends to lovers, college!au (but not necessarily important tho)

warnings: none!

author’s note: for prompts 15. “i’d like to think we’re more than ‘just friends’.” and 90. “would it be okay if i borrowed your sweater? it smells like you...” i didn’t rush writing this but i think the plot makes it seem like this is rushed, i’m really sorry about that 😖😖 anyways, i’m sorry if there are a lot of mistakes. and i’m sorry that hoseok is potentially a little out of character. nonetheless, i hope ya’ll like this fluffy hoseok!

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

“ah! y/n! y/n! y/n!” you flinched slightly as someone yelled your name quite obnoxiously.

you recognized their voice, well his voice, but despite that you couldn’t help but keep walking. you knew he was doing it on purpose. your cheeks flushed with embarrassment as many other students glanced at you. you waved a hand at them, smiling shyly as you passed by.

then, an arm was thrown around your shoulder, nearly causing you to fall. “i saw you trying to run away.”

you wiggled out of his grip. “only because you were embarrassing me.”

hoseok glanced around, “why were you embarrassed? i was simply trying to get your attention.”

you shook your head. it was typical of jung hoseok to be loud and energetic, that was just who he was. how you ended up becoming friends with him was a mystery. somehow, a tight bond was formed between you and hoseok. you and him just naturally worked well together.

your best friend laughed at your reaction. you suppressed a smile. even though you had been embarrassed, you couldn’t help but love his antics. hoseok never failed to put a smile on your face.

you and hoseok walked into the building together, heading towards the practice room. hoseok had dance practice. it wasn’t necessarily a class. it was just something that hoseok and his friends started to do in the mornings. it was equivalent to getting up early to work out or go for an early jog.

you didn’t have a class at this hour but it was becoming a habit to go with him. hoseok asked if you wanted to tag along one day, simply because he liked having you next to him. you loved watching hoseok dance anyway. the way his body seemed to move like the flow of a river, his facial expressions, how every so often his tongue would flick out and his eyes would do that glare…

you shook your head. you were getting side-tracked.

your cheeks, however, turned bright red, matching the color of a student’s shirt as you walked by them.

hoseok turned to look at you when you didn’t respond to his story about how his sister barely left him to have any hot water for a shower yesterday. normally you’d laugh, but support his sister because you loved her. when he saw how red your cheeks were, hoseok’s eyebrows knitted together. “yah, are you sick?”

“i’m not sick.” you responded.

hoseok shrugged as he pulled his hand away. if you say so, he thought.

by that time, you and hoseok arrived at the practice room. already music pounded loudly through the door from inside. a tinge of anticipation grew in your stomach. this was probably your favorite part of your day.

you see, hoseok had these six friends. all of them were hilarious and goofy and so fun to be around. everyone had great chemistry with each other. since you were best friends with hoseok, you were friends with them. hoseok encouraged it, of course.

your best friend opened the door, gesturing for you to go first. such a gentleman… you slid inside, jaw falling as you watched everyone... warm up.

the song was even louder than before once you entered the room. except today’s warm ups seemed to be different. jungkook was headbanging to the song, a water bottle being used as a microphone. taehyung and jimin were dancing in the corner, basically twerking. they’re fists rather aggressively moved between them, towards their chest and out again. every few seconds, they’d grab each other’s shoulders or arms. namjoon joined jungkook and was singing passionately while dancing a series of terribly executed moves. let’s say freestyle wasn’t namjoon’s strong suit. and jin was running around everyone, well he was before collapsing onto the floor while claiming to be an old man. and finally, of course, there yoongi was. he stood in the corner where the technology was, watching everyone with an expressionless face. just when you thought he wasn’t going to participate, however, he joined jungkook and namjoon in singing a high note.

you gulped. they were a chaotic group. how could they have that much energy so early in the morning?

hoseok broke into heavy fits of laughter. “i show up a little late and this is what i walk into?”

you couldn’t help but laugh and pull out your phone, recording everything.

the six boys didn’t notice you and hoseok until the song ended. by then they were panting and most likely very much warmed up. they laughed along too, teasing each other.

hoseok stretched along with the members since they hadn’t properly started. they had been waiting for him.

you sat off to the side with your laptop, playing games or doing homework and what not. it usually depended on what you felt like doing.

finally, namjoon suggested taking a break. you looked up at everyone. boy was it a sight, one that you probably will never get used to. the boys were all sweaty and breathing heavily, some placing their hands on their waists or stretching their limbs. you looked at everyone, until your eyes fell on hoseok. despite him being your best friend, you often wondered if you had ‘more than friends’ feelings for him. oftentimes, you admired him, finding him extremely attractive. sometimes hoseok would do something so small, like touch your hand or shoulder or say something, and you would wonder if he liked you. you tried to convince yourself that that was normal for friends, that it was a platonic kind of feeling. but then you’d find your heart racing and your cheeks burning.

you blinked and suddenly hoseok was in front of you, sitting cross-legged. he reached for his water bottle and gulped it down. “that was probably one of our best practices.”

you agreed, trying to calm your heart down. you stared at hoseok. you had your knees pulled up to your chest. if hoseok liked you and you happened to be dating, you could imagine him leaning over, or wrapped his arms around your legs and knees to pull you closer. couples do that a lot, or at least you thought so. as you imagined hoseok as your boyfriend, as he was directly in front of you, you prayed that he wouldn’t notice your red cheeks until you got them under control.

“we need more water.” jungkook suddenly whined, throwing himself back against the bench.

everyone agreed.

the room felt extremely hot. most likely it was probably because of how hard the boys worked and how hot (not by looks) and sweaty they looked. but maybe it was because a few sweaty and attractive looking hoseok was sitting very close. the room was becoming too much for you to handle. quickly, you stood up. “i’ll refill the water bottles.” you volunteered, stepping around hoseok.

hoseok was standing up with you. “i’ll go with you.”

“why? you should take a break.”

“i doubt you’ll be able to carry seven water bottles all by yourself.”

you glared at him. he was right, as always. “fine.”

hoseok grinned and your expression softened. he was adorable.

wait? did you really just think that? do you really have feelings for him?

you carried three water bottles while hoseok carried the other four. you and him walked a short distance towards the nearest water fountain. then one by one, you and hoseok started filling up each bottle with cold, refreshing water.

hoseok immediately drank half of his water, then filled it up again before filling his fourth one. “did i dance well today?” he asked you.

“you always dance well, hoseok. you’re the main dancer of the group after all.”

hoseok smiled brightly. “today felt really good.”

you smiled at him. you loved when hoseok was confident about himself. as you gathered the water bottles, positioning one between your arm and ribcage, however, you noticed out of the corner of your eye, hoseok’s face getting dangerously close to yours. before you could question what he was doing, he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek.

you gasped at the sudden action. you definitely didn’t expect that. by then, hoseok was sprinting down the hall, laughing along the way.

“what was that?” you yelled after him, hurrying to catch up.

hoseok had beat you to the practice room and was already handing the water bottles out. you were extremely flustered, and felt like you couldn’t meet your best friends eyes. you almost didn’t walk into the room. you handed the water bottles back in a daze, causing you to mix them up. the members laughed, but you walked back to your spot. your mind kept asking, why did hoseok do that?

it had to be just a friendly gesture. you and hoseok were talking about how well he danced, so hoseok must’ve been happy and proud. did guy friends always kiss their female friends’ cheeks? was that a thing?

as dance practice continued, you found yourself liking what hoseok did. it made you smile, it made you blush, it made your heart beat until you could hear it over the music. it had caught you off guard, but you thought, maybe you wouldn’t mind if hoseok did it again. maybe you did have feelings for your best friend.

your eyes trailed to hoseok’s eyes in the mirror across from you. his gaze was focused on himself, his arms and legs, making sure to hit every beat and going all the right moves. he just looked so hot, he danced so passionately. the energy and aura that radiated from him... and you were blushing again.

after practice was over, hoseok had to run home to shower quickly before the next class. you remained at school, sitting in the library until your first class of the day started. you shared this class with hoseok.

you couldn’t focus on anything. hoseok was constantly running around in your head, occupying everything you thought about. you could imagine him laughing and teasing you.

you felt a lingering feeling on your cheek as you thought about your best friend. subconsciously, you brought your hand up to touch your cheek.

you sighed and looked at your laptop, looking at the time. only a few more minutes to go.

you and hoseok went about the day like normal. you nor hoseok talked or mentioned the kiss on the cheek. it was like nothing had happened. you wondered if it was a good thing, but perhaps there was just nothing to it. hoseok did it as a friendly gesture. you wanted to talk about it, what it meant, but you also didn’t want to bother hoseok.

there were so many thoughts in your head, and it was beginning to become annoying and bothersome.

as you and hoseok were walking home together, you kept stealing peeks and glances. you needed to know it that cheek kiss meant that hoseok liked you too, yes now too, or if it was just him being his crazy and unpredictable and goofy self.

“hoseok, can i talk to you?” you said, breaking the silence between you and him.

he nodded. “i would hope so. we haven’t been friends for years for nothing.”

you quietly laughed. “true. it’s about...earlier.”

finally, hoseok met your eyes. “earlier?”

“when you,” you sighed. “when you kissed my cheek.”

“o-oh.” he laughed nervously.

hoseok brought a hand to rub the back of his neck. he looked around the street, avoiding your eyes.

“i just want to know what it meant.”

after a long moment of silence, hoseok nudged your shoulder, a shy smile forming on his face. “i like you.”

“what?”

“you heard me. good night!” suddenly hoseok was breaking away from you and heading towards his house.

you stood there in shock, watching his back as he skipped a step and unlocked his front door, disappearing before you. how could he just drop such big news and then run away? you hadn’t even realized that you and him had arrived at his house. you scoffed, glaring at his house, attempting to produce two beams of fire, just at him though. his sister and parents could live…

you sighed. you didn’t know what to do. hoseok just dropped a bomb on you and didn’t even stick around to see your reaction. maybe he was worried you would reject him. your beating heart sunk a little at that thought.

you headed home, taking your time. you stared at the ground in front of you, thinking of hoseok. you didn’t even realize you were at your front door, until you realized you had stopped walking. funny how your brain worked…

that night, you laid in bed. your hand continuously reached for your phone. you debated on calling, or at least texting him. you told yourself you didn’t even have to say anything, just a good night or sleep well. but then your stomach would twist and knot with nervousness.

you’ve never felt nervous around hoseok. he’s always made you feel comfortable. this was what love did.

the next morning, you walked to school as usual. perhaps this morning you tried to look better. you did your hair differently, you did your makeup, you dressed nicer, and you waited (while trying not to look like you were waiting) for hoseok.

you heard his voice soon enough and you felt that feeling in your stomach again. you waited for him as you walked in the direction of the dance room.

“y/n.”

you turned, catching hoseok’s gaze as he jogged over to you.

“ah, hey.” you forced out.

your cheeks blushed as you looked into his warm eyes. hoseok smiled at you, “you look pretty today.”

your eyes widened at his words. did you hear him right?

“are you coming?” hoseok asked as he walked away.

you blinked and hurried after him. “hoseok, i want to tell you something.”

“hm.” he asked, seeming much more brighter and more energetic than normal.

“you didn’t give me a chance to respond to your, um, confession yesterday.”

hoseok looked at you as you arrived at the practice room. “sorry, i got nervous.”

you smiled at him, blushing even more. you noticed that his cheeks were red as well, and you had to resist the urge to caress them or pinch them between your fingers...or to kiss them. “i like you too.”

you told him. hoseok broke out into a large grin. he pulled you into a hug, laughing into your shoulder. you were smiling just as widely. your heart pounded rapidly, but that was a sign that you were in love, at least that was how you thought of it. only hoseok managed to make your heart beat that fast.

suddenly, the door to the practice room opened, causing you and hoseok to pull apart. if someone was just passing by, it looked as if you and hoseok had just got caught red handed, and in a way, it felt that way too.

jungkook stood in the doorway, holding the door open with one hand and with his phone in another. he looked shocked. his eyes darted between you and hoseok. “hold on, mom.” he said as he pulled the phone away. “yah! the dynamic duo is here.”

“what do you mean by that?” you questioned defensively.

jungkook stared at you with a hint of confusion written on his face.

the rest of the boys soon joined, crowding into the hallway. “well, you guys are best friends, right?” jimin said. “you guys are always together, and extremely close, so we kinda dub you guys as the dynamic duo.”

hoseok suddenly scoffed. he wrapped his arm around you, “well guys, i’d like to think we’re more than ‘just friends’.”

along with the boys, your eyes widened and your jaw dropped. you painstakingly turned your neck to look at hoseok. hoseok laughed at their reactions, but when he saw yours he inched away. “sorry.”

then you smiled, swallowing hard. “i mean, i guess he’s not wrong.”

it was hoseok’s turn to look at you with a surprised look.

“what?” all the boys asked.

“i’ll call you back, mom.” jungkook said into his phone. “the biggest news just got dropped.”

you rolled your eyes at jungkook. “are you guys really surprised that hoseok and i like each other?” you asked them, feeling nervous.

they all shook their heads. “no, no, we saw that from kilometers away.” seokjin replied.

“then, why are you guys shocked?” hoseok asked timidly.

“we just didn’t expect it to happen this soon. we honestly thought you guys would never share your feelings for each other.” yoongi added.

you and hoseok glanced at each other.

“don’t think too much of it though.” jimin spoke. “we’re glad you two finally confessed.”

you smiled. “me too.”

----

“would it be okay if i borrowed your sweater? it smells like you...”

hoseok peered over from his bed, looking up from his laptop. you were standing in front of his closet, taking a look at all his clothes.

you’ve been to his house many times, so many times it was almost like a second home. but it was your first time there as a girlfriend.

hoseok laughed. he thought you looked adorable as you held one of his favorite sweaters over your chest, looking down to see how long it was. you had a small pout on your face. you’ve always wanted to steal a boyfriend’s clothes, that was a perk of being in a relationship. and now that you were in one, you couldn’t resist.

you held the sweater up confidently for hoseok to see. he smiled, very warmly in fact. he removed his laptop from his lap and slid off his bed, taking a couple strides over to you. you blushed slightly as he got closer, wrapped his arms around your waist. “of course, my love.”

you grinned at the pet name that your boyfriend had recently begun calling you. it took a few weeks for both you and hoseok to call each other names like that. and now that it’s been a few months, you and him had gotten comfortable, and confident, being more intimate and touching each other. hoseok surely didn’t waste any time when it came to skinship.

you peered up at hoseok, admiring his facial features. his eyes, his nose, his lips, his jawline, his ears, everything about him made you smile and fall for him all over again.

you stood up straighter and pressed a kiss to his cheek. hoseok smiled.

“i’m returning that one kiss, remember?”

he nodded, blushing slightly as he remembered how he kissed your cheek. hoseok had only thought about doing that so many times, and he didn’t even hesitate then. he laughed softly.

what hoseok didn’t expect, however, was when you pressed your lips to his own. it caught him off guard. you had made the first move.

this relieved hoseok because he always wasn’t sure when things were too soon or moving too fast. his first priority was you and making sure you were comfortable.

you pulled away blushing, smiling at him. “did i surprise you?” you asked.

“y-yeah.”

“anyways, i’m taking this sweater. expect it back within the week though.”

hoseok watched, still dazed, as you threw on the sweater before grabbing your stuff and leaving his bedroom. you were going home, a proud expression on your face.

your boyfriend was normally the one that liked to mess around with you and tease you. but this time, it was your turn, and there was definitely going to be more moments like that.

#btsboulangerie #bts #bangtan #bangtan sonyeondan #bts jung hoseok #bts hoseok #bts jhope #jhope #bts one shot #bts imagine #bts scenario #bts fluff #hoseok one shot #jhope one shot #kpop

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lol-jackles · 5 years ago

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If you don’t mind, I’m curious as to why you started watching the show? Like, did a friend suggest it to you or did you watch the trailer and decided to give it a shot? And what made you stick with it throughout the years? I know a lot of fans left after s5. Tbh the only reason I’m still watching is to see how Sam’s story is gonna end (even tho I wasn’t a big fan of the last couple of seasons, the show has really started going downhill with the introduction of the mark of lame)

Lucky for you this is one area I don’t mind repeating myself. I remember wanting to know why blood was dripping down onto this kid’s forehead in the trailer commercial.

The pilot trailer was advertised as a Hardy Boy’s X-Files, but the more I watch the more I saw the show was more in common with the superhero genre than horror/fantasy genre, and I love comic superheroes (my posts on X-Men, Joker, DC vs Marvel). The secret identities, fighting the good fight, the cool wheels, not beholden the mundanity of rules in the civilian world. Victor Henriksen explained why the hunter lifestyle appeal to him in comparision to the FBI burdenson bureaucratic rules. From Victor’s pov, Sam and Dean represent freedom. This is why I never liked the the Omniscient Council of Vagueness trope because our superheroes are just employees of a bureaucratic organization. Supernatural is the precursor to the superhero movies glutting theatres and teleision for the past dozen years.

Then I kept watching because it’s so testosterone loaded it’s not even funny. Men like the show because there’s hardly any female-oriented fanservicing. Unpopular opinion but I don’t think SPN is a show for women. My girlfriend is the only female I know in real life that watches the show, the rest are men in their 50s and 60s who likes hunting, collecting guns, drinking beer, driving low riders, hitting on attractive women, hiding from their emotion, getting to be a hero, and having a loyal worshipper pet friend little brother.

“And what made you stick with it throughout the years?”

Within the show’s main storyline arcs we actually get answers and progression, even in the MOTW episode, which are usually great. Character development (usually Sam) occurs regardless whether it’s a mytharc or standalone episode and even standalone episodes often get referenced or talked about in later episodes. I like how SPN doesn’t often forget old plot points or leave them hanging, something that I recall X-Files doing quite a bit. Remember, SPN was advertised as Hardy Boys meet X-Files but Sam and Dean actually get to solve their cases while most monsters get away from Mulder and Scully. We used to joke that If Supernatural and X-Files existed in the same universe, Sam and Dean are the Xfiles that Mulder and Scully would try to track down but never find. Bonus that SPN is more entertaining while X-Files had some grueling episodes to get through.

Lack of progression is the biggest reasons why I stopped enjoying Marvel superhero movies because nothing really changes: all the settings are more or less the same and with most of the same characters. They’re good characters but that doesn’t keep the movies from blending together in my head and becoming fogettable. Supernatural isn’t forgettable because, thanks to progression, each seasons are different enough and so they stand out, even the down seasons.

“Tbh the only reason I’m still watching is to see how Sam’s story is gonna end”

I would say that’s 70% of my reason as well. Sam had the most character development in the show and I want to know what his final form is going to look like. Supernatural’s showrunners managed with varying degree of success (and some misfires) of avoiding problems that have been plaguing popular long-running tv shows: rigid central protagonist as this article “As TV evolves, a glaring problem of characters who don’t change” explains. Fans and critics were united in their frustration that Mad Men’s Don Daper started out as a drunk womanizer and ended as a drunk womanizer. 24′s Jack Bauer defeated so many villains over 8 seasons that fans counted and mocked Jack’s on-screen kill count at 265 dead bodies over 8 days. Superntural’s unprecedanted 15+years run allows Sam’s character arcs to have three well-known story arcs instead of jst one: The Change Arc ( (season 1, 2, 3, 5), The Fall Arc (season 4, 7, 8, 9) , and The Growth Arc (season 5, 6, 11, 12, 13, 14). I’m guessing season 15, especially the last three episodes, will combine all three Arcs or at least first and last Arcs.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #cultural impact

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optimisticsprinkles · 5 years ago

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The John Boyega Controversy

I noped out after getting the gist of it right after it happened, but it’s continued to rest heavily on my heart, so here we go. Don’t read if you don’t want to think about it (which I totally understand).

------------------------------------------------------

The monstrosity that was “The Rise of Skywalker” left everyone emotional. Not just us fans but also those who made the movie. They all got a lot of hate, and some of that hate was probably racist. John (who played Finn) in particular was probably getting a ton of crap. I did not go through his twitter feed to confirm this, but I can imagine.

In the midst of this emotional time, he posted something... crass about Finn and Rey. If you didn’t see it, good. Don’t look for it.

Its crassness was disturbing enough, and felt disrespectful toward a beloved female character, but what really seemed to trigger most Reylos was the laughing/flippant tone toward Ben Solo’s death.

I cannot think of a single Reylo who wasn’t devastated by the loss of Ben Solo. Many had grief symptoms in the real world. Depression, trouble eating, trouble sleeping, etc. And no matter what someone outside of fandom thinks about grieving a character, it can and does happen.

When someone says it's just a book, movie, or game, it belittles the depth of the emotional investment you've made. It belittles your feelings. It says, "You don't have the right to care deeply about this."

(source, yes I quoted myself)

As a public figure, John probably got more negative feedback than any of us could imagine. And he was probably fed up by the time he posted his crass joke.

I forgive him.

I don’t think he understood (how could he?) how it landed in the grieving Reylo climate at that time, or how much more painful it made the grieving process.

I forgive him.

I doubt he understood what the women were going through who responded to his joke with disappointment, hurt, and anger or why it upset them. I think there were too many people coming at him, and he didn’t have the emotional energy to consider it in any depth, had he been inclined to do so. I think he’d gotten so much hate that he was just done with any kind of negativity and he couldn’t separate the hate-filled posts from the ones with legitimate concerns. So he reacted to grieving Reylo responses with taunting shrug gifs and a distinct lack of empathy.

I forgive him.

His joke hurt. It hurt me, you, us when we were already fragile.

I forgive him.

In situations like that, it’s better not to respond, but some people did. Some spoke out. I understand the urge, but that kind of thing just fans the flames, especially in a time so emotionally fraught on all sides. No one was in any state to sit down and have a calm, rational conversation, much less the world-famous celebrity who’d just been in the worst Star Wars movie to date (yes, I’m counting the Holiday Special). Everyone in that conversation was going through a lot, and it was a terrible time to have any conversation, much less one fueled by hurt.

Some of John’s defenders called the Reylo response racist, and from the (very) few I looked at, there was no merit for a racism accusation. In that context, it looked to me like racist was used a lot like Hitler is used: to have the last word and stop any meaningful discussion from taking place. To shut the other person up so the name-caller can win.

I’m sure there were legitimate racists tearing into John on social media. Again, I didn’t look for them, but he’s a black man in a Star Wars movie, so it’s pretty much guaranteed. But the (few) Reylo responses I saw were upset but otherwise fine. If there were Reylos who went there, I did not see them, but if someone linked me to something obviously racist, I’d be like, “Yeah, that one is. Fuck that person. The others are fine, tho.”

There seemed to be (and I saw this happen with a comic artist, as well) this idea that preferring Reylo over FinnRey is, itself, racism.

Fuck that noise.

I’m not going to say that there aren’t any racist Reylos. Statistically speaking, I’m sure we have a couple. I have not met them, myself, or I haven’t seen any evidence of it if I have. (It’s not like racists go around posting selfies of themselves at Klan meetings.) Racism itself is a spectrum, embedded in society, often subtle, and there is no measuring system that can accurately quantify how much of a person’s behavior is motivated by racism, sexism, or intolerance.

But I reject, wholesale, that liking one pairing that happens to be two white people over the pairing that is interracial is inherently racist. It offends me as a thinking human being to see anyone use that excuse to win arguments or fandom wars.

Maybe someone, someday, will do a study on race, attraction, and fandom ships. How all of that affects each other. Someone probably has done a study on race and physical attraction, which I think would be an interesting read, but what I don’t think is that someone should be shamed for being more attracted to a certain gender or appearance or personality or, yes, even race.

Because I believe, to the bottom of my heart, that attraction is not something we choose. Perhaps it can be influenced, but it can’t be forced. And I think attraction does play a role in ships, but attraction is a weird formula that maybe someone somewhere has figured out, but I don’t have a clue how it works. Again: perhaps it can be influenced, but it can’t be forced, and personal preferences re: attraction aren’t right or wrong. They just are.

Racism is not preferring one fictional couple to a different fictional couple. Racism (and you can correct me if my definition is far off the mark) has much more to do with how we treat each other than with what fictional couples we prefer.

I am not here to tell anyone I am not a racist. That’s not something anyone here can know for sure, as none of you know me in the real world or see my every waking moment. Racism is a subject for me, as a straight white woman, to try to understand. I say try because I know, as a straight white woman, it would be easy for me to fall into prejudicial patterns. And I hope that by not assuming I’m infallible, it can help me live in a sincere, thoughtful, and kind way.

But for accusations or arguments with strangers online who don’t know me and don’t know you and judge based on fictional pairings?

I say again: Fuck that noise.

#John Boyega #Finn #Star Wars #Star Wars Sequel Trilogy #Reylo #Reylos

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draganasimpsforjeff · 4 years ago

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Idk if you're still doing matchups or not, but I thought I'd send this in anyway lmao. I'm a straight female, a pisces, about 5'6 with shoulder length light brown hair, blue eyes and a pale complexion. I love photography, making videos, grunge, the color white, and horror. Despite the fact I love horror, I'm hella jumpy. I have ADHD, so it came be hard to focus or say was I'm thinking. I'm very easy-going, but have a bit of a temper and can be easily irritated. Oh! And my favorite movie is Rings

alright alright alright

now I’m not pairing you with him just bc ik you like him but i generally think its a good match and the other fuckers might not fit as well

TOBY

- chaotic couple, literally, no chill

- constant repeats of, “What? What did you say”

- he’s a bit taller than you, but either way he’s got those muscles that scream, “I’m in charge bitch.”

- loves it when you take photos or make videos...he may or not jump into shots..

- but likes your skills with a camera

- he’s mad in love with your eyes

- possibly the main reason why he never hears a word you say because he focuses on them

- just like him, you have your sensory overload days and it’s very scary when you both have them at the same time

- big fights and if it’s not between you two, it’s with the other proxies and cps

- and toby being the dick he can be sometimes, will get you fired up just for the fuck of it whether that be bc “he thinks it’s hot when you’re mad” or...it’s just for amusement...Masky could see this from miles away as he’s also a victim of this (not the attraction part tho )

- he’s into horror movies, but this boi will not stfu bc he has to comment on how the characters are idiots or if the scene is not realistic ( like no shit dumbass it’s a fucking movie) or if the killer does something stupid like walk slow or leave evidence, or even make a very tiny creak.

- you both make fun of them, but don’t encourage Toby or you wont be able to concentrate on the movie without him saying something for the whole 2 hrs???

- though, if its a pretty badass scene, then he’ll tell you to get your camera and try to remake it

- cannot stop giggling like a fucking child bc of how excited he is

- so there’s constant “CUTS” from you bc he cannot stick to the script

- honestly everyone i confused on how you deal with him...but also no one cares bc they get left alone

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kannojo · 4 years ago

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doin this because @atendersun wanted me to and i love her, full homo

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME. Hannah Kent

NICKNAME. None

GENDER. Female

HEIGHT. 5′1″

AGE. 21

ZODIAC. Libra

SPOKEN LANGUAGES. Hannah is able to speak and understand any language and dialect, as long as there is another person present speaking it.

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR. Dirty blonde

EYE COLOR. A bluish-green jade

SKIN TONE. Rather tan, as she gets a lot of sun and doesn’t burn

BODY TYPE. Endomorph, on the curvy side with slight pudge around her belly, arms, and thighs. No matter how much energy she burns, she can’t seem to lose all her baby fat.

VOICE. Doesn’t have a particularly deep voice, it’s smooth and nice to listen to, only getting high pitched when she’s overly excited.

DOMINANT HAND. Right, but her left hand isn’t completely useless, either.

POSTURE. She doesn’t necessarily carry herself in a proud way, but her back is straight and her shoulders are even, her posture definitely confident, but not in an overbearing way.

SCARS. Considering her ability to heal physical wounds, she is unable to maintain any scars.

TATTOOS. None

BIRTHMARKS. Nothing extraordinary, just typical tiny dark marks here and there on her arms, shoulders, and back.

MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). Two simplistic wing ‘marks’ on her back between her shoulder blades. They’re rather small, but unlike the rest of her flesh, they’re translucent and glow a faint blue.

PLACE OF BIRTH. Unknown

HOMETOWN. Verse Dependent

SIBLINGS. Technically Lucy, though she considers her more her own daughter.

PARENTS. Mistral has taken a parental role on both Hannah and Lucy, as Hannah has casually taken on the woman’s last name, Kent.

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION. She works for Mistral at her Cafe and Bakery, doing pretty much everything from taking orders at the counter, to baking the treats and pouring coffee, to cleaning after close.

CURRENT RESIDENCE. There’s a rather large and cozy apartment above the shop in which the three girls reside, making it easy to run the shop and keep tabs on it.

CLOSE FRIENDS. While it can vary between verses, I like to have Hannah be good friends with both of my muses Opal and Edna.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS. Verse Dependent. Tho @atendersun is her main squeeze rn

FINANCIAL STATUS. Since Mistral is very wealthy, owning her own business, still receiving royalties from old projects and careers, as well as many successful investments, Hannah gets paid very well alongside this, as well as Mistral paying for most of Hannah’s needs, which leaves Hannah sitting on a pretty coin or two.

DRIVER’S LICENSE. Ye, she’s got a license, though she doesn’t drive very often (she don’t need to, the bitch can fly- it’s mostly to hold appearances in certain cases)

CRIMINAL RECORD. Clear, Hannah’s done some very illegal stuff (murder) but she’s very good at not getting caught and keeping her tracks clear. Killing the kinds of people who can’t seem to stay in jail are her personal hobby, as well as making it look like freak accidents.

VICES. A bit too quick to kill. Sure, she could get them properly arrested and tried for the crimes, but why leave them to the corrupt judicial system with the risk of more people being hurt? (as well as being a waste of tax payer money, I might add) Hannah has a long list of rapists, pedophiles, and serial killer skeletons in her closet, and she isn’t the least bit remorseful.

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Demisexual/Demiromantic, she very much thrives off of an intimate connection, usually needing one before sexual acts. Though it is verse dependent for the most part, one’s environment often affecting the libido and attraction levels. She does have a heavy preference for men, but she’s had a couple romantic instances with women in past threads.

PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. She is more of a provider of emotional comfort than a receiver. While she does very much crave having it in return, it’s more comfortable for her to be that for someone else, than to trust someone that much and be the more vulnerable one. It would take a lot of trust and development for her to allow someone that much power over her.

PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. She’s a switch through and through, depending on her mood and who she’s with. If her partner is more of a bottom, she gravitates to a more dominant role. If she’s with a person who’s a top, she’s more submissive. Though in either instance, there will be times when she craves the latter, not always in the mood for the same thing.

LIBIDO. Hannah’s libido is attached to her romantic attraction. If she doesn’t have anyone she’s interested in, it’s rather low and she’ll masturbate infrequently. But in a relationship, her libido skyrockets and she’s very forward and blunt once she trusts her partner enough.

TURN ON’S. Seeing the person she likes being good with her daughter is a very big one- if Lucy’s happy, she’s happy. The person smelling good is also a big one, but her biggest one would have to be moaning. She’s very much driven by that alone, so pegging is a favorite of hers ofc. She’s also spurred on my seeing her partner wet, like after a shower or sumn. As well as her ears and neck being kissed, she likes that too!

TURN OFF’S. Smelling bad, being bad with kids, and entitled behavior. She doesn’t like being ordered around in bed, asking nicely will do wonders. Prideful behavior will also turn her off, not a fan of a self important braggarts (but then again, who is?)

IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. Hannah’s not a super touchy feely person, but when it comes to people she loves, she can grow very physically intimate. She’ll often want backrubs or head pets, and in turn will do the same. She also like to give little gifts- nothing extravagant, but her partner can expect her to bring them their favorite drink or treat when hanging out. She’s not a super romantic person either, prone to simple “I love yous” and general words of appreciation, you won’t be getting a wall of text on your birthday describing her undying love for you is what I’m saying lmao

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. Angry Too by Lola Blanc

HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. Reading, playing story based video games, p much just getting lost in fictional worlds that she one day wants to visit in person

LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. Right.

PHOBIAS. No real ‘phobias’, but her biggest fear is outliving the people she loves, which she ultimately will do.

SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. Hannah has confidence in her abilities and strength, though she lacks confidence in her humanity. When comparing herself to others, it’s not a test as to who’s ‘better’, but more that she wishes she have a more simple life sometimes.

VULNERABILITIES. Physically, her heart is her only weak point, and she’s also hindered by colder temperatures, much weaker in icy climates and frigid temps. Emotionally, she struggles with admitting her insecurities and worries, wanting to appear stable and in control, when she really still feels like everything she’s worked for could crumble in an instant.

#┇•❁• ⊱ ◦ angel's breath ⊰ hannah musings; ⊱#voila #das a long ass post so imma #;long post #hell yeah #HERE U GO CHRIS U WHACK ASS HADES LOVIN BITCH #im gonna go do my drafts now so here's this fuckin BOOK #i should make one for edna later too #she's cool #i would date edna

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