#i do find it easier to recast things that are like

[pynkhues]

THANKS so much for answering my sisterhood of traveling pants 👖 ✨ask I absolutely love your cast. Your choices are so interesting and fun Lol I love your choice for Lena. I also think Taylor Russell would be really good in that role. Thanks again.💗💗💗💗 W hen I think of movies that really spoke to me as a young girl that definitely is one of them also legally blonde , akeelah and the bee etc and there’s so many more. Is there any movie that you really loved growing up that you would love to see rebooted? And of course would to see your dream cast if you have any. 😊

(x)

You're very welcome, anon! It was a really lovely ask to answer, and unlocked so many good memories as I read Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants in highschool not long after it came out.

Taylor Russell would be such a great choice for Lena too, and I think maybe Sophie Wilde? I loved her in Talk to Me, and quite enjoyed her in Tom Jones and feel like she could do a lot in that role.

And man, Legally Blonde was definitely very influential for me (I still haven't seen Akeelah and the Bee unfortunately! I'll need to add it to my holiday watchlist!), and I think Clueless and Bring It On too. A lot of my really influential YA stories though are ones that are Australian, so I'm very concsious most people won't have seen or read them, but if I had to mention one, I'd say Looking for Alibrandi is forever absolutely formative to me as a film.

It still guts me, for ways I won't spoil, haha, but I really recommend it as a coming of age film that deals with all the regular teen issues while also looking at parental abandonment, the cultural confusion of being a child of migrants and losing people you don't expect to (full tw, there is a teen suicide in this film). Plus! It's still funny! And fun, and Pia Miranda is forever an underated actress to me.

I don't think I'd remake it, as I think it's a perfect product of its time, but the author of the book it's based on, Melina Marchetta, also wrote a book called On the Jellicoe Road, which I am constantly tapping my watch for an adaptation of. It was so, so formative to me as both a reader and a writer, and I hate that it's kind of been lost to time? Anyway, let me at least share with you the opening paragraph of that book because I still love it a lot:

My father took one hundred and thirty-two minutes to die. I counted. It happened on the Jellicoe Road. The prettiest road I’d ever seen, where trees made breezy canopies like a tunnel to Shangri-La. We were going to the ocean, hundreds of miles away, because I wanted to see the ocean and my father said that it was about time the four of us made that journey. I remember asking, 'What’s the difference between a trip and a journey?' and my father said, 'Narnie, my love, when we get there, you’ll understand,' and that was the last thing he ever said.

[bug-memory]

Muriel bjd update

An update about my Muriel ball-jointed doll(s)!

I am planning a Kickstarter for this project. It is not ready yet but I hope to have it ready later this month or early next month. I do NOT plan to sell these online apart from the KS campaign, because of recasting. I plan to sell them at furry conventions and ball-jointed doll conventions if I can get myself to one (I live in Florida, though). There will likely be fewer than 100 of these but I haven't calculated all of that yet. I have a serial numbering system and a way to authenticate them that I'm excited to try in my next prototype!

After discussing having them casted, I think I will be 3D printing them myself, as the open mouth faceplate cannot be casted, and I don't want to deal with having to print that anyway and making it fit a casted one... If I regret that choice, I will learn for next time lol. The next doll I am working on (my Harold) I thinking might be a better choice for casting, as they would be one color and have a closed mouth.

I was using Siraya Tech Fast Mecha for my next prototype, which was to be the Official Muriel in her natural colors. What happened was basically two things: 1) resin is expensive and 2) it got really really hot outside, which separates Fast Mecha from the Tenacious I mix it with. My next prototype is basically on hold until it stops being 100 degrees out, which it has been since May... Fast Mecha is a compounded resin and does separate. One of the tails I printed for another doll had a transparent tip because the resin separated at the end of the print once it got hot out, so I'm not going to have that happen with a 20-hour print!

Anyway, I'm going to try a few different mixes of the good resin with some ABS-like and Tenacious, as I like how those feel more than Fast Mecha on its own. Mecha is kind of like, powdery, or has a rougher sort of texture, seems to get dirty easier (or I am bad at cleaning it) and is not as transparent. I liked how you could see through the ears a little, like real ears, and Mecha robbed me of that lol, so I want to try cutting it to like a 50/50 ABS-like and Mecha mix, and then add 1/5 of Tenacious to that (math is not my thing but I always add my Tenacious at the end now; it gives me extra resin to not run out in the print and helps my brain calculate things). Also, the cleaning process for Mecha is like, they tell you to toothbrush the entire thing with alcohol, and I want to streamline my post processing, so a resin mix would be good, as long as it doesn't create the scratches in the joints. I want to get it down to a ratio where there is no powdery grinding residue on the joints. The only review I can find said they did 50/50 Mecha and Tenacious and it still did not powder itself at that ratio, so I'm hoping I can do that but with the ABS-like resin I like.

So! Stay tuned for updates for the Kickstarter. I know a few people on here expressed interest and I'm excited at the possibility of actually being able to send some Muriels out into the world, if I can generate enough interest!

[scarleeto]

rocking the boat [arthur morgan x reader]

summary: you and Arthur go on a midnight fishing trip beneath the stars where your teasing has a better ending than you had anticipated.

masterlist

2.4k

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“Stop that,” Arthur grumbled, his weathered hands looking perfectly out of place stretched out and fiddling with the dainty clear line attached to his rod, “you’ll scare the fish.”

An unhesitatingly innocent “Stop what?” was fired back amidst a discordant cacophony of disturbed water, creaky planks, and glass bottles. Each time the boat tilted, Arthur strained to watch as the subsequent ripples engulfed the lure for a split second before it was revealed once again in a brief moment of calmness. It would have been a lot easier to see if the night sky had not rendered the water a blanket of blackness that was beginning to merge with the space above it.

“You know,” he stated with his attention fixed firmly upon the line still.

“Know what?”

“What it is that you’re doing.”

“What is it that I’m doing?”

Arthur, calling back his line, buckled, turning his head to see the root of the disturbance. The root of the disturbance was noticeably disarming, his pretence of frustration seemed to be diluted by the suppressed smile in front of him so that when he responded it was in the form of a quiet, quite negligible, mumble, “Rocking the boat is what it is that you’re doing.”

Lifting your hands off of the rim of the boat slowly as though it were a deadly weapon, you look back at Arthur, smile undying. Equally as slowly, you begin to lean back, a sign of respite, extending your feet to rest on his knee as you lean you back against the wood, letting your head dangle backwards, a breath away from contact with the water.

Continuing with the inspection of his rod, he let out a sound somewhere between a sigh and a chuckle, “You’ll better watch you don’t fall in.”

In reality, his annoyance was minimal; he had allowed you the small comfort of a foot-rest while he worked.

“Don’t worry, cowboy, I got my eye on it,” you dismissed as you grappled to your side for one of those glass bottles that had been making such a racket earlier. The last drop was gulped down as you aimed the cork at Arthur’s shoulder. It missed, rather whizzing straight past his view and into the dark water with a faint splash.

He turned to you once again after his eye had caught the trajectory of your makeshift ammunition, his head tilted a tad in lighthearted disbelief, “The only thing you’ve got your eye on, cowgirl, is that bottle.” He paused. “I mean it, you watch yourself.”

“Certainly,” you stretched your arms wide over the water's surface. Feeling a biting wetness on the fingertips of your right hand, you released your grip of the bottle in your hand, letting it sink into the depth as you fondled the newfound fluidity of the water, provoking gentle ripples.

Perhaps Arthur would have looked your way again if he had not been preoccupied with casting his rod. Though, perhaps he would have caught something by now if he had not been so preoccupied with you.

Once he had recast his rod and watched the lure bob in the water’s movement for a moment, a concentrated silence overcame the air. A silence that was empty and calm. However, it took on a new shape when Arthur’s free hand set itself upon your shin to rest; what was once empty and calm was now quite the opposite.

Still leaning back, with roaming eyes you scanned his face only to find an expression of a fisherman, somewhere between concentration and serenity. It was nice to see him like this; Arthur carried heavy burdens for the gang, and the weight of it all was frequently apparent in his face, no matter how much he tried to hide it. You almost felt bad for teasing him in one of his few fleeting moments away from it all.

The paradoxical desire for him to simultaneously continue with his fisherman’s glare and to look at you as he was before lasted only a brief moment before the slight shifting of your feet drew his attention past your legs and to your face. As your eyes caught onto each other the neutrality of his expression contorted into a concerned half-smile, “At least hold onto the boat, will you?”

Wordlessly, you complied. As you reached your hand down to grip the wood, drips of chilled water fell down onto you and the boat, but once your grip was secure Arthur thanked you before returning his attention to the rod.

You both remained like this for a while, until the signs of a bite saw Arthur perking up, a smile on his face as his hand left its place on your shin to man the reel. While Arthur set all his efforts to retrieving the fish, you pondered the emptiness his absent hand left before finally sitting up in your spot to watch the lure with him. The struggle was brief; much of Arthur’s fishing expertise were derived from Hosea, who was justifiably very secure in his abilities, so each tug and turn of the line was purposeful and effective.

With a grin on his lips and pleased admiration in his eyes, Arthur hoisted the fish onto the deck and detached it from the lure. From the look of it, it was a steelhead trout, its reddish hue and distinctive brown spots determined this.

“Nice catch,” you remarked as you reached down for another one of the bottles that bedazzled the deck of the boat.

Arthur watched with a sceptical look, “You know, I wouldn't say a boat is too fine a place to be drinking so much,” he laughed, “I promise you, if you fall in I’ll let you drown before I jump in after you. It's freezing, I'm sure this guy'll attest to it,” he gestured to the fish.

“Charming,” you retorted as you uncorked the bottle, “It’s actually for you and your catch,” you gave him a grin while handing it to him.

“Ah,” he chuckled, “that’s just fine then.”

He reached over to slip the bottle out of your hands before he took a broad gulp. Then he took another for good measure. Only when it was time to wrap up his catch did he put the bottle behind him.

Intently, you watched as he neatly fold the linen around the fish before he began to knot lengths of string around it to keep it secure. Once he had finished, he looked up at you, meeting your intent gaze a bit bashfully, “You wanna head back? It's getting dark”

You shrugged, breaking eye contact to look at the night sky instead; it was clear out and the stars burned bright in a way that made you feel both insignificant and limitless all at once. “It seems a waste to go back right this moment.” You wanted to bring up the stars but could not find a way to word it that would be unromantic enough to maintain some semblance of plausible deniability, instead you suggested finishing the bottle of whiskey first.

Arthur had pretended to contemplate your suggestion before you reached over with wobbly legs to grab the bottle from him. With your sudden disturbance, the boat rocked more than it had before, sending you both grappling for the edge. Being that you were on the feet, it is highly probable that you would have gone in head first if Arthur had not gripped you by you hips in a move that he claimed was reflex and, much to your humour, profusely apologised for with a slight heat on his cheeks.

Perhaps you would have reassured him if it were not for the fact that you had been too preoccupied laughing; though he seemed okay after another gulp of whiskey. When he had composed himself he managed to reiterate his concern of you falling, “I told you to be careful and here you are jumping around the boat.”

“Jumping!” You laughed, still stood on your wobbly legs, “you call that jumping?”

He joined in with your laughing, though still clearly concerned as he motioned for you to sit down once again.

“Arthur, I’m fine, See?” You smiled proudly as you extended your arms to balance yourself as you stood independently on your own two feet.

“Very impressive, miss,” Arthur nodded in jesting approval.

“Thank you, sir,” you responded with all the formality that you could muster, “now, I shall commence with the real jumping?”

Arthur reached out and grabbed your hand to pull you down. The whiskey must have melted away his previous embarrassment at skin-to-skin contact as he did so without so much as a hint of hesitation, neither in his hold nor his gaze. “Please,” he smiled and spoke gently, “no jumping.”

Allowing your left hand to remain in the comfort of his grasp, you raised you right in defence, “Alrighty, Mr Morgan, no jumping,” you conceded, “although, I will have more of that whiskey that you’re trying so hard to keep from me.”

“For your own good,” he defended as you reached past his body to reclaim it.

He was firm in keeping it from you, stretching his hand behind him to linger over the water, though you were equally as determined as you had practically climbed over him as he tried his best to restrain you in your pursuit.

Perhaps one of you would have noticed the rocking of the boat if it were not for the fact that the mixture of the brief battle for the possession of the bottle and the prolonged contact were all too enthralling. Neither of you cared for the near danger of the water until it was too late. Until the splash sounded out and you were already submerged.

The night water was much more freezing than the brief contact of your hand had told. The warmth of the whiskey did little to counteract this. It froze your whole body for a second and all you could do was take a sharp, hungry gasp for air as you angled your head upwards and frantically splashed your arms to keep yourself afloat. You must have given Arthur quite a fright with your own panic because, after realising the futility of trying to drag you back by your collar, he had shed his jacket and jumped in after you.

It was only after he had pushed you back on board that you fully comprehended what had happened, and once he had hoisted himself back up you felt yourself overridden by remorse, though all you could seem to form was a quick “Sorry, Arthur.”

His demeanour was surprisingly calm, he was almost laughing, perhaps it was the whiskey, “You’re as bad as Marston: can’t listen, can’t swim...”

“I can swim,” you defended yourself, “I was just shocked.”

“Oh, sure,” he chuckled.

“It was freezing,” you said in an attempt to justify your shock.

“No need to tell me,” he gestured to his soaked form.

You both quietened down for a moment.

“I am sorry,” you reiterated, “I hardly noticed how much the boat was rocking.”

“It’s okay,” he responded with much less anger than you had expected, “I'm just glad you're okay.” If anything, he sounded more relieved.

You smiled at him before laughing a little, “I know it's probably poor timing, but may I have some of that whiskey now?”

He smiled back at you incredulously.

“Only to warm me up...”

“I'm sorry,” he sighed, seeming a little bashful all over again, “I dropped it in the water.”

“Maybe that's for the best,” you smiled at him in attempts to reassure him. It was wrong that he should be apologising when it was your fault that he had just jumped into freezing water after nightfall, but that was just his nature.

“Probably,” he chuckled as he leaned back, his eyes drawn up to the sky, “at least the stars are well tonight.”

Your smile only grew as his eyes remained on the sky, flickering from star to star. He was beautiful like this: concentrated. God, you wanted to kiss him.

His gaze was only drawn away from the sky when you placed a lingering hand upon his shoulder, feeling the cold damp underneath. You had expected him to look confused, but he did not, rather he looked like he knew exactly what you were thinking. Suddenly feeling like your thoughts were naked in this lingering waiting, you leaned forward, connecting your lips to his. He reached out to rest his hands on your waist, reciprocating the kiss. You expect his lips would have felt more chapped if they had not been dripping with water, but you nonetheless indulged in the feeling of their smoothness. The most notable aspect of the kiss was how cold he was, you expect he thought the same thing of you. You could barely distinguish whether the shiver that erupted down your spine was caused by the chill in the night air, or the closeness of Arthur.

When you pulled back you felt as bashful as he looked, “The stars are very beautiful.”

He held your hand for a moment, speaking no words, as he looked up once again to the sky. The moment felt much longer that it probably was, but soon ended when Arthur declared that you both better get back to camp before anyone started to worry.

As Arthur rowed the boat back, each moment was filled with stolen glances and unyielding grins in addition to your regular chatter. It was nice. The shimmering moonlight danced through the ripples in the water, and with the distant echoes of breeze ridden shrubbery, you were filled with the otherworldly sensation that the entire world was empty except from you and Arthur on your boat. It was almost as disarming as the stars.

Although he was hardly angry, you could not help but feel sorry for him; with each shiver that racked your body you were reminded that he was likely just as frozen. It was only about a quarter of the way back when he offered you his jacket. After putting up a fight, you finally accepted when his offer morphed more into a demand. You felt bad, but no longer cold.

When you both got back to camp, Arthur hardly hesitated to tell everyone the cause of your dampness around the fire at dinner, leaving out a few details. Everyone was quite amused and teased you mercilessly, especially Karen who, for the next few days, would chuckle at you wordlessly when you passed her by. More interestingly, a remark made by Dutch about Arthur jumping in because he was smitten with you was met with a blush from Arthur who did not entirely deny the accusation.

Needless to say, John was very glad to see that the camp had a new target for 'can't-swim' jokes.

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thanks for reading <3

[pommunist]

https://www.tumblr.com/pommunist/748553749204762624/i-do-wonder-a-little-if-the-very-different

On this topic, a replacement admin for the eggs would be entirely up to the admins in charge. If you’re looking at it through the lens of ownership and copyright (whether that’s morally right/what the audience wants etc is a whole different thing obviously) because the characters themselves are a creation of the studio. The argument of their personality etc being from the admins are true but don’t really mean anything in terms of legality. Easiest way to explain it/look at it is the recasting of Spider-Man in the multiple movies. Spider-Man as a character belongs to marvel studios meaning that as beloved as each actor is to different people for their interpretation of the character it’s not THEIRS. Toby Maguire couldn’t have refused for anybody else to play the character of Peter Parker because he had no ownership despite having influenced how people saw the character. It’s the same as when an actor gets recast midway through a tv serious or movie franchise, whilst it upsets people the studio is within their right to do so because the character is theirs. Obviously in this situation we have the ccs feelings in it and their enjoyment too but it’s frustrating to see people especially on Twitter up in arms as if it’s illegal for them to be selling figurines of a character without the admins permission as if that’s the norm and because it’s not at all

Noooooooo I said I didn’t want to talk about intellectual property law noooooooo whyyyyyy

Easiest way to claim ownership of a character and be able to use/sell them ? Copyright or trademark it. Which I couldn’t find records of it being done by Qstudios for any of the eggs.

First you have the design : usually you would commission an artist to make a design of a character and make the artist sign something that make them give up any rights to said character. Same would be done when you commission someone to design merch based on same character, you make them sign away the rights to this design. I don’t know if the proper contracts and forms have been exchanged and signed or anything so Idk about that

Now for the admins who play them. It can’t be compared to Spider Man like you did because this is not the case of an actor following a script and just acting as the character. Egg admins are the ones who came up with their Egg’s personalities and stories. It’s like being an actor and a writer at the same time, like you’re acting your own script WHILE writing it. This is why it can be tricky to determine who is the creator, and so the owner of an egg character. This would be easier if there had been clear work contracts establishing that the admins were creating these characters for Qstudios but as we know this isn’t the case.

I’m not saying the eggs aren’t the property of Qstudios, I’m saying this isn’t a clear cut situation, I’m sure it would be a very challenging case for an intellectual property attorney, but not for me 😵‍💫

Also I feel like the people’s reaction on Twitter is more from an ethical and moral standpoint than a legal one.

[laboulaie]

From Girl Next Door to Conniver Blair

Kassie Wesley is making a dramatic switch from sweet young thing to Llanview’s bad girl BLAIR but she’s not daunted by the challenge.

“I’m so excited about this,” Kassie tells SOAP OPERA MAGAZINE. “My character CHELSEA REARDON on GL was so squeaky clean, while Blair is on the dark side.”

“I’m so used to playing the girl next door. It’s like night and day. But it’s definitely going to be fun.”

The young actress left GL in January 1991 after five years as Chelsea, then moved to California with her husband Richard Hankins, GL’s former art director.

This is her first soap role since then, and also the first time she’s taken over a part held by another actress. Devious Blair, who shares her Aunt Dorian’s scheming genes, was previously played by Mia Korf.

Kassie, whose first airdate was December 15, admits it could be tough taking over a role when another actress is so closely identified with that part of the audience.

“There will be people saying, ‘Kassie’s better’ and others saying ‘She’s never going to be the Blair we know.’ It takes a while for people to warm up to you, but even more-so when you’re recast in a role,” Kassie explains.

With quiet confidence, she adds; “I can do the acting and play the part, but I cannot believe that out of all the actresses they had to pick from, they picked me. That’s not to say I can’t play the bitch - just ask my husband!”

It’s easy to be confident when you’re as multitalented as Kassie. Besides her acting credits, she’s a superb singer and songwriter. She was featured as a backup singer with Bobby Womack and other country music stars, and she performed solo at Grand Ole Opry in Nashville.

Still looking to further her musical career, Kassie is now sending her demo record to recording companies, hoping to land a contract.

Born in Morganfield, KY, Kassie first got interested in acting in a high school speech class. Then she attended Indiana University and completed her studies in theatre at UCLA.

After getting a few small TV roles and commercials, Kassie signed on with GL in 1986. When she quit and headed to California with Richard, she admits it was rough finding work, but never regretted her decision to move there.

“You have to go with your gut feeling and my gut was telling me it was time to try other things , and I did,” Kassie says. “I had a great time, and I thought: If I’m going to be unemployed, I’d rather be unemployed in California where I can go out and play golf!” she laughs.

During her two years on the West Coast, Kassie stayed busy. “I did an episode of Timetrax, which aired in November, and an episode of Melrose Place which was scheduled to air sometime in December or January. Then I’ve got an episode of Baywatch airing in February.”

When the part of Blair came up on OLTL, Kassie got caught in a whirlwind of frenetic activity: auditions in Los Angeles, a screen test in New York, and trying to fit it all into her frantic schedule.

“They gave me the weekend to think about it,” she says. “Everything was happening so fast, and I was trying to get through one job before moving on to another job. So I came to New York on Monday and did the screen test, and found out I got the role on Tuesday.”

“That was the week of Thanksgiving and I’d already planned to go home to Kentucky to see my family. I went home and just came straight from Kentucky to New York and began working. So it’s been a little overwhelming.”

Kassie, who speaks with a charming Southern accent, won’t make that part of Blair’s new image. “Of course I’m going to do it without the accent,” she tells us. “I did GL without it. Once you learn lines it’s much easier to control the accent. The hardest part is going to be working with all those Texas cowboys, CORD, ASA and CLINT with their accents.”

“I’m sure there are certain words that are going to come out only like Southerners say them, but I’ll do the best I can,” she concludes with a laugh.

- Soap Opera Magazine (1994)

[everseens]

what color is your aura?

tagged by: @eternclsunshine <33 tagging: @pcrfectcrime @slumpcd @angelsdvsts @fadinglights and whoever else wants to do it! u can say i tagged u if u want

maris

chiffon | stone walls, sweaters, moths, dusty lace, animal tracks, incense, throw pillows. your essence is chiffon: your soft heart disarms those who meet you. you willingly swallow your feelings for everyone else; it is easier to hide your sensitivity. you may be a mirror, reflecting the best back at others, and not knowing quite who you are inside. you are the compromiser. you are the recaster. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of ashen, hickory, brown, and grey, who act with patience. you are also drawn to the cheerful orchid and honey, who will help you grow and discover what actually makes you happy. however, you may struggle to get along with the wild-hearted personalities of mauve and terracotta who act on their whims.

sav

pink | cupcakes, sunglasses, pink sands, starbursts, pinky promises, flower crowns, ice cream. your essence is pink: you are vibrant and ambitious, an untrimmed flower. your energy is consuming; it wraps others up into your enthusiasm and influence. your gift is seeing things for how they truly are and shifting yourself to be the star of any situation. you are the pioneer. you are their envy. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of magenta, rose, wine, and orchid, who share your fluid social skills. you are also drawn to the even-tempered souls grey and brown, who will help you grow and learn how to ground yourself. however, you may struggle to get along with the questioning personalities of green and yellow who are too linear in their thinking.

[peninkwrites]

The Green Room - Ch 2 of 4

Showfall Media’s recasting process starts with a trip to the green room. There, cast members are offered the truth before the slate is wiped clean…

crossposted to ao3

Ch 1

Ch 3

NIKI NIHACHU - RECASTING 29

“Hello there, Niki!  Can you hear me?  Hm?  Hello, hun, come on, look at me.”

Niki hears someone snapping their fingers.  Her eyes focus on a hand in front of her face, slowly, the room swimming into view and with it, fear.

“H-Hello…?”

“Hi, Niki!  My name is Dr. Smith,” a woman in a lab coat with a clipboard smiles at her.

“Where… I don’t understand.  What’s… what’s going on?” Niki asks, and as she does, she remembers.  She remembers that she remembers almost nothing.  Niki sits up sharply, but finds that she cannot move very far.  Her wrists are strapped down to a chair.  She scans the room, panic hot in her chest.  It’s plain, furnished with plush couches and the two padded chairs across from each other, one of which she is tied down to.  She turns back to the woman across from her, accusing and sharp.  “I… I was shot.  How am I here if I was shot?”

The woman laughs.  “Wow, you are quick, huh?  I always forget just how quick you are!  Yes, you were shot, but hair and makeup fixed you up!”

Niki struggles to process.  “That doesn’t… that doesn’t make sense.  I was… he shot me.  He shot me twice,” there’s a tremor in her voice, as this she does remember, of course, the pain of it.  She remembers screaming for help, begging because she was still alive.  She remembers the second shot.

“Our hair and makeup team is very impressive, Niki,” the woman says condescendingly.  “Welcome to the green room!  Here, I will answer any and all questions you have before your recasting.”

“My… recasting.  Because it was a role.  You… you forced us all to play roles,” Niki resists a shudder.  “That’s what this is, right?  That’s why… on the carousel, I… I acted different.”

“Right again, Niki!  Don’t miss a trick, do you?”

“And I… I want to leave,” Niki’s voice continues to shake, but she keeps trying.  “I want to leave here, and… and you won’t let me, will you?”

“No, Niki.  I’m afraid not,” she says with false pity.  “You’re a Showfall castmember, which means you belong here.”

“No.  No, I don’t belong here.  You people are crazy.  You killed me!  A-And somehow you brought me back, but you still killed me!  You’re sick!” Niki shouts at her, struggling against the bonds to no avail.

“Maybe,” Dr. Smith shrugs.  “Call us crazy, sick, whatever you like, but you can’t say we’re not effective, hm?” She says like she’s made some grand point.  “We entertain.”

Niki’s vision blurs, tears welling up, but she can see well enough to spit at the woman’s face.

Dr. Smith stands up sharply, wiping spit from her face with clear disgust, but her voice remains calm.  “I forgot you did that,” she grimaces.  “That’s my bad.  I should’ve sat further away.”  She proceeds to do so, dragging her chair further back.  She takes a deep breath, as if to force herself to calm, Niki watching her carefully, and sits back down.  “You know, Niki, you’re always one of our trickiest cast members.”

“What’s… What does that mean?”

“Well, you’re our… second newest member, but you’ve had far more recastings for your time here.  There’s always something, isn’t there, Niki?  Something always bleeds through,” she says it almost scoldingly.

Niki feels a shred of pride through the pain and the rage.  “Does that not make sense, considering you people love to make us bleed?” She snaps icily.

The woman smiles, amused.  “Sure, if you like.  Although, compared to some of your other… mistakes during the shows, this last one wasn’t too bad, I suppose, just the tears, and then you finding the Puzzler too early, quick thinking on his part, you could’ve ruined the game if you figured things out any further.  Although, I will say, your propensity for memory does make recasting easier!” She adds this bit of praise brightly, to Niki’s chagrin.  “You piece things together much faster than the others.  Hm,” the woman scribbles something down on her clipboard.  “We might have to start delegating you to smaller roles, making sure you get picked off sooner.  The audience voting for you did throw a wrench in things.  Normally the girls aren’t the fan-favorites.”

“Fine, then stop this.  If I… if I ruin things, then just stop using me,” Niki is torn between anger and pleading.  Her own words are what break her.  Just stop using me.  A sob rises in her throat.  She doesn’t remember, but she knows enough.  She knows she’s been trapped here for a long time, she knows they have hurt her, that they will hurt her, and she knows she is helpless to stop them.  Tears pour free, she curls in on herself as much as she can with her wrists bound, chest shuddering with aching, heavy sobs.  She pleads uselessly, meaninglessly, because she doesn’t know what else to do.  “I want to go home… please, please just let me go.  I won’t… I won’t say anything, tell anyone what you did, I just want to go home…”

“Niki,” the woman sounds so kind, so pitying.  “You are home.  As home as you can be.  And I know you’ll never make your peace with that, trust me, we’ve been down this road before.”

Niki swallows back her sobs, nails scratching at the armrests, digging in, as rage, grief, and terror all swirl inside of her.  “I know,” she says dully.

“Do you?  Are we already there?”

“Already where?” She mutters bitterly, staring at the carpet, scuffed and faded beneath her bare feet.  She’s in white linen, almost like pajamas.  It feels sterile.

“You remember our past meetings?”

“No, but I know they’ve happened.  I can guess that much.”

“I always forget how clever you are,” she laughs, almost impressed.  “Do you have any questions for me, Niki?  About your past, maybe?”

Niki thinks carefully, wearily.  “On the carousel, I… I wanted to live.  I thought if I won, if I got chosen, I’d get to live, right?”

“Well, yes, that was the premise of that round of the game, sure.”

“But… but that was a lie,” she does not bury the tremor in her voice, eyes shut tightly, a shaky breath.  “There’s no way out, is there?  There’s… there’s nothing to win.  We’re just… we’re just made to go on,  aren’t we?  Just over and over again, whatever you want?”

“It’s not just what we want, Niki.  It’s for the audience,” Dr. Smith says with reverence.  “We’re here to please them.”

“Well, they’re the ones that voted for me to go on, so.  Maybe they should vote on letting me go,” Niki tries feebly.  She knows it won’t save her.  She doesn’t want to talk about anything else.

“That’s an interesting thought, Niki,” Dr. Smith says dryly, unamused.  “So, any questions about your past?”

“Why would you give me answers if not to hurt me?” She says, soft and accusing, finally looking up at that woman, hatred and pain radiating from her puffy eyes.

“Actually, it’s to make all this hurt less.  The more you know, the less jumbled it is in your head, the easier it is for us to recast you.”

“You mean… you mean reprogram.”

“Sure.  They mean the same thing.”

Niki closes her eyes, taking a few more deep breaths, allowing her tears to go free.

“Niki?”

“I don’t… I don’t want to ask you anything.  I just want this to be done.  I don’t want you to hurt me, but I know I don’t have a choice, so I’d rather not wait, please,” Niki’s voice breaks.  She’s so scared.  She doesn’t want to be scared.  She doesn’t have a choice in that either.  She chokes on a sob.  "I j-just want this to be done..."

There’s a pause, Dr. Smith considering this.  “Alright, Niki.  I… I suppose you’re ready for recasting.”

When they come to take her away, she doesn’t struggle.  She's still crying.

[royal-misfit]

@chewbokachoi tagged anyone who wanted to do this, so here I go! It's a you-thing and your aura-thing

"stone walls, sweaters, moths, dusty lace, animal tracks, incense, throw pillows. your essence is chiffon: your soft heart disarms those who meet you. you willingly swallow your feelings for everyone else; it is easier to hide your sensitivity. you may be a mirror, reflecting the best back at others, and not knowing quite who you are inside. you are the compromiser. you are the recaster. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of ashen, hickory, brown, and grey, who act with patience. you are also drawn to the cheerful orchid and honey, who will help you grow and discover what actually makes you happy. however, you may struggle to get along with the wild-hearted personalities of mauve and terracotta who act on their whims."

I tag anyone who wants to play!

[the-conversation-pod]

Timestamps

The timestamps will now correspond with chapters on Spotify for easier navigation.

0:00 - Welcome 1:16 - Intro 8:40 - Best Acted Scene 18:40 - Best Cast 25:06 - Best Acting Pair 34:30 - Best Actor 47:05 - Best Ghost Ship 57:19 - Best OT3 1:04:40 - Best Friendship 1:14:10 - Best Side Ship 1:32:20 - Best Main Ship 1:51:28 - Wrap Up

The Conversation Transcripts!

Thanks to the continued efforts of @ginnymoonbeam and @wen-kexing-apologist as transcribers, and @lurkingshan as an editor and proofreader, we are able to bring you transcripts of the episodes.

Please send our volunteers your thanks!

NiNi: Hello. Hello. Your QL fandom uncle and Auntie are here with giant sunglasses, brown liquor in a flask, a folded $5.00 bill to slip into your hand when nobody's looking, lukewarm takes, occasional rides on the discourse, deep dives into artistry and industry, and most importantly.

Ben: Simping. Lots of simping. I'm Ben.  

NiNi: I'm NiNi.

Ben: And this is The Conversation, about once a season we plan to swan in and shoot the shit on faves, flops, and trends that we've been noticing in the BL, GL, or QL industry. Between seasons, you can find us typing way too many words on Tumblr.

00:01:16 Intro

NiNi: Hello and welcome to the VIIB Awards, VIIB standing for Very Important Internet BL Awards for 2022. So Ben and I are here. We've sort of been through the ringer in terms of nominating things, had a couple of very polite arguments, and we are here now-

Ben: We were very nice to each other. Don't worry.

NiNi: We were very nice to each other. We always are. And we are here now to discuss the winners of the VIIB Awards. So, in this episode—which is part one—we will be looking at our awards for actors and ships; and our first acting award is Rising Star or Best Newbie. 

Ben, take it away.

00:02:03 Best Newbie

Ben: I wanted to do this in this order because I think it's important for us to get the basic stuff out of the way. Who do we like, who are our faves this year? And so we started with the best newbie because these are people we're hoping to look forward to in the future. 

So, we nominated in the pre show: Nunew Chawarin, Bible Wichipas, Peat Wasuthorn, and Barcode Tinnasit. 

Let's talk about process. So,

NiNi: Okay. So…

Ben: Before I get too deep into it, tell me why you chose the three you voted for, I guess, go through that.

NiNi: Okay, so I voted for Nunew, Bible, and Barcode; and the reason that I did that is when I'm thinking of a rising star, I'm looking to the future. I'm looking at what they've done. But I'm also seeing their potential. So for me, those three, um, had the best potential that I saw all of 2022. New faces who really made me want to see more of them as actors. So that's why I ended up with these three. Who did you end up picking and why did you pick them?

Ben: I chose Barcode and Nunew, and it for me comes down to, of the newcomers, who gave performances that we’re probably going to refer back to, and who debuted with the most immediate impact on the industry that they entered? And so I voted for Barcode because he holds his own against a veteran actor in a complicated romantic role, and he has to sing and he will be directly compared to Jeff. And we weren't necessarily positively predisposed to him, because there were some consternation from those of us who've been around about Gameplay being recast and Barcode taking the role instead.

NiNi: Mmm.

Ben: And so with a lot going against him, I think Barcode did an incredible job in his very first role and had a lot of great support in that role. 

For Nunew, he has to play high heat against an older actor and there are complications for that in Thailand. He also has to sing a lot in his new role with Cutie Pie and even beyond that, he ends up doing the soundtrack song for To Sir With Love- 

NiNi: Oh. 

Ben: And that song, last I checked, had over 40 million streams on YouTube. 

NiNi: Oh wow. Oh Wow.

Ben: And that's more than everything he did from the Cutie Pie stuff combined, and I think almost double. And so, those two really stood out for me in terms of, what were they up against and then how well did they do with that on the table?

NiNi: Fair, fair. And I mean, I definitely take your point about Nunew and the music in particular. I actually wasn't so much a fan of the music he did on Cutie Pie, but actually today of all days, I watched the first episode of what I guess the fandom is calling 2 Cutie 2 Pie. 

Ben: That's what I'm calling it.

NiNi: Or, Cutie Pie 2 You, and the song he sang, he sang kind of a trot song in the episode and I was really, um, I remember thinking, being sort of taken aback because I like the tone of his voice, I like the timbre of his voice, I like the way he was emoting the song. I really quite enjoyed it. And I'm not a huge fan of trot music. So, that sort of definitely stood out to me. And then, I mean, I don't do a lot of the behind the scenes stuff, but I have heard how much he is making an impact on the music side of things.

NiNi: And that's all well and good, but I really, really, actually in Cutie Pie, I really enjoyed his acting. I—we went back and forth between us, I think, when it came to Nunew versus Barcode, I was definitely in the tank for Barcode. But, I think in the end you convinced me so…our Best Newbie is…

Ben: Nunew Chawarin, and it's not a disservice to—

NiNi: [long cheer]

Ben: It's not like there's a disservice to Bible or Pete, who I think do an incredible job in two very difficult roles this year.

NiNi: Ohh yeah. For sure. Like it. What Bible did with Vegas? I—Vegas is a very, very difficult character. Somebody incredibly hard to like, and somehow he became everybody's blorbo.

Ben: He does, he does an incredible job and I think it's because Bible himself is an incredibly empathetic and really thoughtful actor, and he really understood what he needed to do with that particular character, with Vegas. And I also—we didn't talk about him much here, but I think Peat does an incredible job as well playing Sky in Love in the Air, a MAME show that people are going to have a lot of complex feelings about. Peat is a standout performer in a very difficult role.

NiNi: I am one of those people who finds MAME difficult and I did not watch all of Love in the Air, but I watched scenes from Love in the Air and I think I watched one full episode, and I do remember thinking that Peat was definitely standing out and I, I was actually pretty surprised at the quality of the acting in Love in the Air,  but I shouldn't have been surprised, MAME does cast good actors but.

Ben: We have a lot to say about MAME’s casting down the road, don't you worry.

NiNi: Oh we will. We will. And Peat was really good, but I think on balance, if we look at the four nominees that we came up with, I think that I am with Ben. I think in terms of the Best Newbie of 2022, it has to go to NuNew. So Nunew Chawarin, you will—

Ben: Congratulations, sir!

NiNi: —probably never hear this, but congratulations! 

Ben: We are fans of yours.

NiNi: You have won the 2022 VIIB Award for Best Newbie.

00:08:40 Best Acted Scene

NiNi: Okay. So next category… yes, I I don't know what we're gonna give them like some kind of a— 

Ben: We should hand out plates, that should be our thing.

NiNi: We should, we should figure it out. 

NiNi: So, our next award is for the Best Acted Scene of the year, and this one had a really long, long list. So, I don't think we're gonna get into every nominee that we nominated. I think we'll just go with our top three on this one. 

Ben: I think that's probably best.

NiNi: So our top three, yeah, our top three best acted scenes of 2022 were as follows: From Not Me, Episode 11, Todd and Black fighting. Now, oh my God, this was ev- er- y- thing. Ev. Er. Y. Thing. I'm, it's no secret that I had my problems with Not Me. I also very much enjoyed it in a way that I don't think other people enjoyed it, which was a little bit as a parody of the people that you will meet in a leftist movement, which I quite enjoy in my read on it.

Ben: That is, that is the best read on it, I think.

NiNi: [laughs] It was so obvious and I was like, “Oh my God, I've been around these people.” 

Ben: That's how I felt too.

NiNi: But, that fight, that fight between Todd and Black, it was, it was gripping. It was emotional. I felt everything that they felt for each other. I felt—

Ben: I feel like there were a lot of stakes in play when they were fighting each other. It wasn't just about who was going to win. It was also about what winning meant for either. 

NiNi: And when—

Ben: And also the fact that they couldn't actually really permanently—

NiNi: They couldn't hurt each other, when it came down to it. Yeah, they couldn't hurt each other like…Todd chokes Black out. He drowns him, and then he's like, “what have I done?” And he immediately pulls him out of the pool. 

It's like..ohh those two are in some kind of love. I don't know what kind of love it is whether it's brotherly love, whether it's something more erotic cause… I mean, I think we all agree that they fucked right? Like Todd and Black have fucked. 

Ben: Right, as the resident Gun Attaphan simp first, I was absolutely enthralled with him getting to play with Sing Harit, who I have been following literally since he started in Love Sick. So, I'm very happy that the rest of the world is figuring out that Sing is incredibly talented.

NiNi: Ohh man, and right now we're watching him in The Warp Effect and ooo, we're gonna save that conversation. 

Ben: We’ll talk about that next, talk about that later.

NiNi: Ohh. Next series. Next season we'll talk about that. But I'm…Sing Harit is a great one, and so this fight was, it was everything. It was epic. It was fantastic. So that's our first nominee that we agreed on. 

So the next nominee that we agreed on was from Ghost Host, Ghost House, and that was Pluem and Kevin on the couch in Episode 4. Now, talk about chemistry. Talk about sexual tension. Talk about that feeling of…wanting to climb out of your skin and into somebody else's; it's all there in that scene. It's all there. And then, when the tension breaks and they finally start going at it, it's just, it's magic, it's absolute magic. I, I don't know how you felt about it, Ben—I mean, obviously you liked it. But I don't know if you want to tell me a little bit more about it.

Ben: It was really fantastic. I think one of the things that stood out to me—and I talked about this with you in one of our earlier conversations—is there was a lot of really great high heat and sexual chemistry performances this year where actors really leaned into their characters’ desire for each other. What I think Boy and Todd do that really stood out for me, was they captured the same thing that Billkin and PP had in I Told Sunset About You. 

NiNi: Mmm.

Ben: During episode 3—

NiNi: In Episode 3, yes.

Ben: —where there was buildup, there was anticipation. It wasn't just that they were willing to do the bed scene, it's that…you could feel specifically how and that they wanted each other before things happen; and in particular Boy does a great job playing up Pluem’s attraction to Kevin's legs. And when that scene starts to unfold, a big part of it is Kevin is pushing up against some of the age social politics of Thai society where he is not really expected or supposed to be an aggressor in an encounter like that. He's not supposed to lead with his desire, and it's one of the common themes about their relationship, they even recontextualize that by choosing to use English pronouns when they're referring to each other to make themselves equal. So they use “I” and “you” as their pronouns, which is also really fascinating, and there was even a lead in with their scene about “Is this your first time?” and a real appreciation for the mechanics of gay sex that we rarely see in genres.

NiNi: And that's something that you and I talk about quite a bit, how unrealistic some of the sexual situations we see characters get into are just because of the mechanics of what they're supposedly doing.

Ben: Exactly. So, those two really, real standouts for the year in that regard. So that's why this scene made the list.

NiNi: They made me believe, I mean, just that, that little micro scene of Pluem’s eyes sliding towards Kevin's legs and then him realizing that he's staring and just turning his head away because he's just, he's becoming too enticed. It's just, it's… it's so real, so visceral, I loved it so much. 

So after scenes like that, what is the one that tops them all and, of course, the only only scene that could have topped are those other two scenes. Khan and Thua, The Eclipse, Episode Seven, that “I'm pretending to sleep. You're pretending to sleep”, kiss in the tent. Oh my God, I— [chuckles]

Ben: [laughs] It’s-

NiNi: When I tell you, I lost it. I watched that scene—

Ben: That was a really fun weekend to be online.

NiNi: —over and over. I just completely lost it. It was so…[sighs] I don't even know if I have the words to describe what that scene made me feel.They're so tentative. They obviously care very deeply for each other. They obviously love one another and they're testing the waters over and over and over. But then this is—

Ben: It really stands out for me because of the way that it reflects the internalized homophobia of the show itself, that they're exploring along the way. Because I was a young boy who went camping sometimes. And so, I understood so much of the social politics going on there. Like, you have to pretend you're asleep because you have to give everyone an excuse. And you can't respond too much because it crosses a line of acknowledgement and so it requires Louis and Neo to be really, really comfortable with each other. Because that is a very difficult set of emotional reactions that they have to convey across space there. And—

NiNi: And they can't play them too big either. They have to be so micro.

Ben: No, and it's very hard I think for some of the Thai actors to play small. I think a lot of the film tradition that many of them maybe grew up on is pretty bombastic and…that's not a, that's not me chiding them. It's just not the film history that many of them come from. And so, scenes like that are really hard to do, even for experienced actors. And I can't overstate how impressive Neo and Louis were in that particular scene, and really capturing the totality of the delayed and unexpressed desire between their two characters.

NiNi: And they take you on a journey in the scene too. Because it starts off, it's really tentative, Khan sort of wakes up, he sees Thua there, he closes his eyes, he nudges his way towards him. Thua opens his eyes, he sees Khan there, he closes his eyes again, nudges his way towards him, the two of them gently pushing their way towards each other, and then the kiss is butterfly light. Because of course it has to be utterly deniable. It's butterfly light. They're both awake, both pretending to be asleep to give each other that out, and then after the kiss, when Khan turns away…and you just see his… you see his joy. It's bubbling up inside him. He can barely hold it inside at that point. And all this is happening in a tent surrounded by their friends who are asleep.

I-I can't find the words. I really can't find the words and that's why it is the best acting scene of the year for me. So Neo and Louis take a bow, you have won the 2022 VIIB Award for the Best Acted Scene. We will be sending you a plate.

Ben: It really was really special. I know they're probably never going to listen to this, but please know, you guys really did the damn thing this year.

NiNi: They did the damn thing. I mean, I don't even want to. I can't even. Where do I begin to talk about Neo? I feel like this is not the place, but at some point I'm gonna have to talk about Neo.

Ben: He's got a big year ahead of us so we're gonna be talking about him.

NiNi: Oh oh, we are. I'm so excited. 

00:18:40 Best Cast

NiNi: Okay, so next we have the award for Best Cast.

Ben: Ohh, we selected ahead of time: KinnPorsche, The Eclipse, Not Me, Secret Crush on You, and Gameboys 2 for best casts.

NiNi: Okay. Uh huh. 

Ben: NiNi, tell us about your, the three you ended up nominating.

NiNi: So, yes, so my picks, my picks were: KinnPorsche, Not Me, and Secret Crush on You. So when I'm looking at a cast, I am looking at the whole. All the main and supporting characters, how they interact, how they work together, how they gel for lack of a better word, and how real they all feel interacting as their characters. So for me it was a no brainer, there wasn't a single miscast in KinnPorsche, Not Me, or Secret Crush on You for me, everybody fit their character perfectly. 

Gun playing White and Black. We could talk about that all day and then you've got Todd. You've got First as Yok. I mean, my God, First pulled out from somewhere the sluttiest energy I have ev-er seen on screen. He just sauntered around, slanging his dick everywhere. It was amazing [laughs] Nut yeah, but I mean he wasn't the only one—

Ben: First, is so…First really is so special. He's part of two different casts that made this particular selection.

NiNi: Not Me I mean, there were standout casting, but generally everybody they cast was perfect for the role. Everybody: Fluke Gawin, as I said, Gun Attaphan, Off—oof, we're gonna talk about Off as well at some point because he has grown leaps and bounds in the last year for me. I'm super impressed with him in a way that I've never been before. 

Ben: I agree.

NiNi: Then you have Mon. It's an amazing cast. 

And then the third cast that I chose was Secret Crush on You. Now, I love unreservedly, unironically love Secret Crush on You. I think it was perfect and amazing. And I mean, I guess we'll get to talk about that a little later as well, but one of the best things about it was the casting. And specifically, again, I always look at the entire cast, but I want to give a real specific shout out to Seng Wichai because, wow! How about you? 

What about your three?

Ben: Yeah. So when I'm thinking about the best cast, the question for me is how well, like you, how well does the cast work together and how effectively do they convey the themes in the global narrative that the story wants to tell? And the question for me becomes, could another collection of people accomplish this? So I selected: KinnPorsche, Secret Crush on You, and Gameboys 2.

Ben: Because the overall talent for the three of those shows stood out to me and for the most part, I don't think it's a show where you look at one person you're like, ohh, they're they're the reason to watch this show. I think one of the things that stands out for me is how absolutely, enormously talented someone like Elijah Canlas is in Gameboys 2 and the fact that Kokoy de Santos, Adriana So, and the rest of the cast managed to hold their own with him in a lot of scenes because he's really, really good. And he's a really special actor because he seems to have what Octavia Spencer and Viola Davis have in that people seem to perform better when they're with him.

NiNi: Mhm. He raises the level.

Ben: And so, he's—that's a really, really special cast to me because Elijah doesn't end up overshadowing the rest of them, which could have happened. And Adriana is such a big personality, when she's playing Pearl, and she manages to not outshine other people when she's in scenes with them. And it's, it's really impressive to me how effectively that cast shared space with each other. Particularly in their large group scenes. 

And like you, I was really impressed with the KinnPorsche cast because they're working with a lot less on that show because of all of the tumultuous development process, and I really like how effectively they performed this a second time; and it's why I really had to acknowledge what they did because this was their second attempt at this show. And there's any number of ways that that could have gone sideways and been really messed up. And it looks like they ended up being better for it, and…that's incredibly special, and particularly for a cast of mostly newcomers. I was incredibly impressed with them. 

Ben: So NiNi, with that said, why don't you go ahead and let the people know who won our Best Cast plate.

NiNi: So…our Best Cast for 2022, the VIIB Award goes to KinnPorsche, because they've got a big cast, they're doing a lot, it's a big story and I still get the feel of every single character, nobody gets lost. Everybody is firing on all cylinders, they're raising each other up, when they're working in pairs, they're fantastic. When they're working in groups, they're fantastic. When they're working solo, they're fantastic. It just, for me, it was a no brainer KinnPorsch wins this one so—

Ben: It was a little bit more difficult for me because I felt very strongly about the Gameboys 2 cast, but…

NiNi: I know you did. I know

Ben: I have to concede to the, the totality of what the KinnPorsche cast did.

NiNi: Because as you said, all the issues with the reproduction, the sheer size of the cast, and the amount of bat-shittery in the story, it stood out to me and that's why they get a plate. 

00:25:06 Best Acting Pair

Nini: We're moving now into some more fine grained stuff. So we're looking at Best Acting Pair.

Ben: So,we selected of the, we proposed quite a few people, but when it came time for us to nominate three, we selected: Ohm and Nanon, First and Gawin, Park Seo Ham and Park Jae Chan, Elijah Canlas and Kokoy de Santos, and then finally Boy and Todd.

Ben: When I'm choosing the best acting pair, I'm asking how effectively do they work together across a wide emotional gamut? Some actors are going to do really well in comedic scenes together, or in romantic scenes, or dramatic scenes; and the question for me when I'm thinking about the best pair is who consistently maintains a high level of believability, even as they're moving across the narrative and across a variety of scenes? Particularly because in most cases some of the stuff is shot out of order. How well do they seem to know what they need to do in that exact moment? 

Ben: And so I chose Park Seo Ham and Park Jae Chan because, as two idols, there were a lot of other things going on in the background that affect how they will be perceived for being part of this and they fully commit to the dynamic that they have to play between their characters, and there's a really believable segue from enemies to colleagues, to maybe something different that doesn't feel forced in a way that it could have such a short runtime, and it's hard to overstate how surprising their performances, particularly after Light on Me, which I think is really good…but, I don't think the cast romantic chemistry really lands consistently in that.I think everyone's very friendly and they're really stand out interactions and performances and I'm a huge proponent of Light on Me. 

But Park Seo Ham and Park Jae Chan, I think, did not need to do what they did to be successful, and there's a reason why a year later, people are still talking about Semantic Error. 

For Elijah and Kokoy, I mean [chuckles]

NiNi: I mean, what else can you say?

Ben: I was, I  was shouting at my TV “I want to believe!” when I see these two on screen together, and it's really easy for, I think Kokoy, to just play Gav as hyper-cheerful and bubbly. But there's a lot of layers that Gav, Gav is incredibly lonely and really struggling with a lot of grief and externalized homophobia in his own family and Kokoy captures the desperation of the way Gav tries to be good to the people around him, even as he's struggling in a way that plays off very sympathetically with Elijah's tendency towards Cairo's brattiness.

And I think it's really notable how well Elijah plays Cairo's heart, but also kind of his naivete, because Cairo's kind of sheltered and doesn't really know a whole lot; and there's a great deal of emotional narrative and thematic terrain that those two have to navigate together, and they never feel like they're out of step with each other at all.

And they did that first remotely, and then when they finally get together in Gameboys 2, it feels so different because they're together. But, you also feel like they really tapped into something special there. Like this is still really early in their careers. But man, what a way to start for some of them.

NiNi: I mean…[snickers]

Ben: And finally, I guess I'll talk about Boy and Todd, we talked about their, their scene earlier, and mostly comes down to that. But I really like the way that they played up their initial attraction to each other. That felt super believable in the first or second episode when they start interacting. And…there's an easiness to the way that they interacted, which made them feel like one of the most gay pair of boys we've had over the last year. It didn't feel very forced and it felt really unique. We already talked about the other things. I don't want to go on about that too long, but I can't overstate how believable of a pair they were.

NiNi: My first choice was Ohm and Nanon, because…when I tell you that Bad Buddy burned a hole in my brain and so much of that was about how much Ohm and Nanon brought to the story. Because the story is already very good, the way that they build up this family feud, the way that they build up this lifelong competition, the way that they build up, how it has damaged both Pat and Pran, and the way that it made them turn to each other, the way that Ohm and Nanon built that up, that you feel that sense of history between Pat and Pran and that sense of the stress that they've been under their entire lives. They're doing it individually, but then when they come together in a scene and they're interacting in a scene, you feel their tentativeness with each other, but also the fact that: “I'm not supposed to like you, but still, you're the closest thing I have to a best friend in this entire world because nobody knows me like you do.” There's so much of that in there, and it's really like the right thing is some of it. But it wouldn't have been believable if Ohm and Nanon did not bring what they brought to the table. So I, I definitely had Ohm and Nanon on my list.

The second acting pair that I had on my list were First and Gawin and that is Yok and Dan in Not Me. 95% of the strength of that scene where Yok draws Dan it's, it's visceral, it's powerful, it made me sit up and take notice. Just. The way at first, that Yok is very teasing with Dan telling him “If you don't take the pillow away, I'm gonna assume that you're here for something else, not just to be drawn.” And then Dan spilling out as Yok is drawing him, just unburdening himself. And where that led them to inside of the scene and feeling everything that they're feeling and that really pulled me toward them as a couple, pulled me toward them as a pair because that came from somewhere deep inside their interaction, not just within themselves, but within the way that they were interacting with each other as a pair. So that is why I picked them. 

But, in the end I had to agree with Ben's best acting pair, hands down of 2022 had to be Elijah Canlas and Kokoy de Santos and Ben explains it far better than I can with regard to this, because my reaction to Gavin and Cai is so visceral. It's…they feel lived in. Elijah is Cai, Kokoy is Gav.

Usually there's a little bit of an uncanny valley. There's a little bit of a shield between you being aware that this is an actor you're watching playing a character, and you being really drawn into the character and losing that film over the whole thing. And Elijah and Kokoy did that to me, especially in Gameboys 2. The way that I haven't seen from anybody else. Not even some of the performances that I really enjoyed and I nominated for this, Elijah and Kokoy have something really special in terms of how they act together and that, that—

Ben: I've seen both of them in other roles and I've seen Elijah in I think about five distinct roles and I never feel like he's repeating in these roles, and I've seen Kokoy and Elijah in another project they did together and the vibe is very different there. 

NiNi: There's something about—

Ben: No disrespect to Ohm and Nanon or First and Gawin, you both—you four— did an incredible job this year too. There are other people in this list we didn't mention.

NiNi: Some good names too.

Ben: If you had to pick one pair. It has to be these two.

NiNi: It's magic. When you put the two of them together in these characters and put them on the screen, they are magic.

Ben: Congratulations to Elijah Canlas and Koykoy de Santos. Here is your plate and I can't wait to see what you two do next year.

00:34:30 Best Actor

NiNi: Our final acting award— 

Ben: Best actor!

NiNi: Yes, our final acting award for 2022 is the Best Actor of the Year, and again, we both nominated different groups of people, but we only agreed on one and—

Ben: This is a difficult one, and I think before we read off even the names, let's talk about what we're looking for in Best Actor. How about you go first? What are you looking for?

NiNi: Ohh my gosh. I am looking for somebody to take me into the character’s psyche. I'm looking for them to show me a truth about the character that maybe isn't exactly on the page, but they find within themselves as they act the character. I'm looking for nuances that come from deep, deep, deep understanding and delving into the character. I'm looking for excellence. I am looking for submerging of the ego. I'm looking for disappearing into the character. 

My choices, my nominees were: Nanon Korapat as Pran in Bad Buddy, when I talk about disappearing into a character. My God. Nanon became Pran. Nanon was gone. Nanon disappeared. He was not there anymore. Nanon was not home. What was there was Pran and that scene where Pran breaks down after he has the fight with his mother? Just that whole episode, there's just one thing after the other. When Pat’s dad finds them and he pushes him and then he pushes Pat away to go and talk to his dad, and then he goes back home and has fight with his mom. And then he's on the rooftop when Pat comes to find—that whole sequence. It just…

Ben: You know they filmed both of the rooftop scenes the same night.

NiNi: I know, and the emotional difference, the emotional color between the two is just, how do you go from one of those things to the other of those things in the same night? It's just magic, absolute magic. So Nanon one was the first nominee that I had. 

My second nominee was First Kanaphan as Akk in The Eclipse. What drew me into Akk was the fear that he had. It was palpable. I'm looking at the first episode or first two episodes of The Eclipse and I'm watching what I called Gestapo Akk, which is him really being the rule stickler, the heavy and I'm looking at this kid, and I'm looking at him reacting to Ayan coming into his orbit and just totally shattering his psyche without even trying. And I'm just like, “Oh my God, this poor baby, he does not know how the hell he's gonna survive this.” Because, we find out later that Akk has had crushes before, but that Akk is so deeply internalized, so deeply closeted, he can't even admit the way he feels to himself. And sort of—

Ben: I think First’s performance really stands out because Akk was so different—

NiNi: It really does. Akk is, Akk is a very different character from the characters I've seen First play before.

Ben: I think that's really what is special about First for me. He's played in about 11 different roles now? And…and we talk about actors growing between roles and that really just has to do with how much more believable they are. First keeps getting better, but what stands out for me is how specific all of First’s performances have been.

NiNi: And we talked about this with the Moonlight—when we talked about the Moonlight Chicken trailer—not to to delve off topic—but I mean all you or not the trailer, they're special. All you see is First walk across the lobby—

Ben: Right. We were both screaming.

NiNi: —and immediately get who his character is.

Ben: He's really, really good and we had a lot of things to talk about. We'll talk about First a lot in the coming year.

NiNi: We, we we'll, we'll—we will talk about him a lot cause he's in quite a bit.

Ben: My other two picks were: Elijah Canlas and Son Woo Hyun. I already talked about Elijah with Kokoy. But individually, Elijah's good enough that he could have carried the entirety of Gameboys on the strength of his performance alone. It's really…good that the rest of the cast was able to keep up with him. But, even if they couldn't, we would still be talking about Gameboys because of Elijah alone, and that's kind of what I look for when I'm talking about best actor. The question for me is how strong is their performance that you just can't envision anyone else doing this? So Elijah stands out for that for our Cairo.

Ben: And then Son Woo Hyun stands out for—

NiNi: Kang Seo Jun!

Ben: Here's the thing. Like there's a lot of people who did not enjoy To My Star 2: To Our Untold Stories. I loved it.

NiNi: I also loved it.

Ben: I'm, I'm a melancholy person. But here's the thing. Like to really delve into that deep level of melancholy takes an incredibly talented actor to keep the audience from losing hope along the way. And Son Woo Hyun plays his optimism in a way that feels really attainable, because you can tell that he's holding on for dear life because he knows he'll break if he lets go. And so it's really important that when his character does actually give up around Episode 7? It hurts so much because you can feel how hard he worked to not give up before that. And I just don't think that a sequel romance story that puts the characters through a lot of pain that I said was not done at the end of the first one. That's, that's my big disagreement with other takes. I just don't think anyone else carries that. I think the two of them are a really special pair as well, but I don't think that worked without Son Woo Hyun’s performance at all.

NiNi: I always talk about in To My Star—the original To My Star, how he is covering up his melancholy, his paranoia, all of these things with the sunshine attitude and how clear that is in the acting, even before you know anything about him and To My Star 2. He took that and ran with it. It was amazing.

Ben It's really interesting, like he and Kokoy de Santos are basically doing the same basic role in their stories. The real changeover is that we spend more time with Son Woo Hyun, and so we have to, we have to believe that a lot harder.

NiNi: We have to believe what it is about him that would carry him through a year without seeing the person who walked out on him on his birthday and left a note and know why he would still be looking for him a year later, you had to believe.

NiNi: And you absolutely believe that.

Ben: And when they get back together—

NiNi: Yeah, yeah.

Ben:  —all of those scenes are really difficult. When he finally breaks and his frustration comes out it isn't…He could have played it as sad and mopey, there was…there was a specific form of outrage he tapped into there that really landed—

NiNi: There was an energy there

Ben: –-and you never forget that he's an actor playing an actor and he does an incredible job of it. It's not easy.

NiNi: But I mean— 

Ben: The one nominee [chuckle] that we both agreed on. 

NiNi: Yes.

Ben: Let's talk about him.

NiNi: So…

Ben: Seng Wichai

NiNi: And actually, I was supposed to say for both roles, so, Seng Wichai playing Toh in—or as I call him, Toh Gay to Function— 

Ben: [wheeze]

NiNi: –-on Secret Crush on You and then playing Pan in War of Y, which is a show that we both gave up on. But, that first arc, New Ship with Seng Wichai playing Pan? Gripping. Riveting. He elevated that entire first arc of War of Y, and then what he did with Toh in Secret Crush on You, because Toh is a very hard character to like. When you meet Toh, he is: stalking Nuea, he is… deluded, he is in this fantasy realm that he refuses to jump out of, no matter how much his friends are gently trying to tell him “This is not okay. This is creepy. This is not good for you.” His friends are gently trying to get him out of it, and you don't know where this comes from. And then as the series goes on, you start to see where this obsessiveness, where this obsession with Nuea comes from. And it doesn't have anything to do with Nuea. It has to do with Toh and how Toh feels about himself.

And, as they go on and go on it, it starts to get even deeper where you realize that part of the problem as well is how for all that Toh is—-and for this, I will use the term that even though it's not quite correct, visibly queer because he's femme, Secret Crush on You is a story about femmes. Um…he's not out and it affects everything he does, everything he feels about himself and you see that in the way that Seng plays the character, I was gobsmacked. Best Actor of 2022. Hands down, and Ben and I agreed on this.

Ben: It stood out for me because the question—I said this with Elijah, that Gameboys 2 would have been good if everyone else wasn't. And… that's how I feel about Secret Crush on You. Seng is so compelling in Secret Crush on You and War Of Y: New Ship that you can't look away. And I feel like the special quality that Seng taps into is he can play ugly really well.

NiNi: His character in War Of Y is this sweaty, desperate mess. And somehow you just can't keep your eyes off of him.

Ben: Toh is also kind of a mess, and what's interesting is like Seng is actually an incredibly attractive person, but he—

NiNi: He is.

Ben: In both shows he, he plays his characters in a way that is kind of unattractive and it's really hard to do that really well. A lot of actors ride on the strength of their smiley charm alone, but Seng can't for both of the roles he's in, because he actually has to play his own charm as kind of twisted and weird with the way he has to smile as both characters. And that's one of the major things that stood out for me and why I put him above an incredibly difficult. there we didn't even mention who were on this list who in–-

NiNi: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Ben: —any other year would have probably won, but 2022 was a really special year in genre.

NiNi: Seng took it for me and I think you and I talked about the last sex scene of Seng and Billy's arc in War of Y and how I had to look away, it was so…I, I was worried that there was something actually happening on that set…that was intense.

Ben: Oh man.

NiNi: Up against the mirror? That was really intense. Seng Wichai in that New Ship arc…add that to Toh—either one of those roles alone would have gotten them the best actor of the year together. Blows everybody else out of their water.

Ben: That was basically it. We were having a conversation. I was like “Seng carried two shows, everybody else carried one.”

NiNi: Yep, basically, so he wins. So congratulations to Seng Wichai for winning the 2022 VIIB Award for Best Actor, your plate is in the mail.

00:47:05 Best Ghost Ship

NiNi: We're moving into a new category. Now we're going to talk about ships.

Ben: This is going to be a little bit different because before we were mostly talking about the strength of performance and so we were talking about the skill of the people involved. At this point, we're going to be talking more about the collective character dynamics that are a result of the work.

NiNi: So this is a mix really of us looking at the writing for a couple, the acting for a couple, what the production design for the couple is telling us about how they work together, their chemistry. These are the kinds of things that I was looking at. I don't know if you had anything in addition to that.

Ben: This particular section is a little bit different from the last one because when it comes to really strong performances, there is strong enough that people pick up on it from small bits that manage to make gifs on Tumblr and such, and so NiNi and I have basically seen everything that we agreed upon in this. The ship awards are a little bit different because I've seen a whole lot more than NiNi, so there's going to be a lot of commentary about the side of BL that NiNi doesn't have time or attention for. So, this section is going to be a little bit different.

Ben: So we're starting with Best Ghost shipm for us a ghost ship is one that is not, say, officially sanctioned per se by the show, but is one that you're like, maybe though…maybe…

NiNi: “Hold on.”

Ben: “I got something to say about that.” So, we selected quite a few, but I ended up nominating Todd and Black for Not Me, for all the reasons we discussed earlier; Vegas and Porsche from KinnPorsche; and then Minato and Hanabusa from Minato’s Laundromat. We've already talked about how Todd and Black want to fuck each other so much that it makes them look stupid–- 

NiNi: So much.

Ben: –-and you're gonna have a lot to say about Vegas and Porsche, and I'll let you cover that because you're way more into that one than I am but the thing that stands out for me about a ghost ship, I think. And what draws me to it is, how does the presence of that ghost ship impact the narrative overall, or influence how things unfold? So, the tension between Todd and Black is the source of all of the drama in Not Me. All of this stuff wouldn't happen if Black didn't turn radical and Todd didn't get pissed that he lost his friend along the way.

With Vegas and Porsche, the potential for Porsche to choose Vegas creates all sorts of problems with Kinn, and conflates the ongoing rivalry between the two halves of the family already. And there was a real belief I had at one point that Porsche could choose Vegas. 

And then finally, Minato’s Laundromat is a show about a graduating high school senior who has been harboring a ten-year crush on the now owner of the local family run laundromat. The owner is Minato, and Hanabusa is one of the other local kids is also graduating at the same time, but he consistently flirts with Minato just to piss Shin off, and it's so convincing that I was allowing myself to become delusional about it, just because I thought it was fun to see how it complicated things. So, those were the three that I ended up selecting, primarily like I said, about how much their ghost ship impacts the, sort of, primary ships or the other themes of the ship.

NiNi: I, I agree what you said about the fact that the ToddBlack ghost ship is actually the impetus for the entire Not Me story, and that's the one of the reasons that I picked it as well. [High pitched] It should have happened 

Ben: It happened, don't worry.

NiNi: I'm pretty sure it happened. I feel like a lot of the way I feel about ghost ships, is that “ohh, this is something that I really wish that they had put in there” because it would have put a nice little complicated wrinkle in the story, chemistry was there.

Todd and Black stood out for me, so that is definitely. Ohh God, they should have showed that to us. The second one I picked. I also picked VegasPorsche. I picked VegasPorsche because Porsche is Helen of Troy, right? I'm not the only person who got that out of—

Ben:That's a really great way to describe his role.

NiNi: Porsche is Helen of Troy. Porsche is somehow the face that launched 1000 ships, although he's not really. There's a little bit of pulling and tugging over Porsche himself, but also what Porsche represents, which is his mom, which is the pulling and tugging from the previous generation was it's over his mother. Over Namphueng. 

I enjoy the dynamic of VegasPorsche as well because I also didn't know if Vegas was trying to play Porsche or if he was seriously interested because it's not quite clear. I liked that. I liked not being 100% certain of whether Vegas was really into Porsche, or whether he was just playing him and that came up for me and two scenes. It came up for me in the scene where after everything happens with Kinn and Porsche in Episode 4, that Vegas comes and meets Porsche at Yok’s Bar and takes him out for a ride on his motorcycle. And that whole—the ride on the motorcycle, the romantic music—I'm not above being swayed by music, just the general behavior, the interaction between Vegas and Porsche in that scene, and how flirty Porsche was. He was feeling alive and I feel like Vegas was also feeling that vibe too. I don't think it was fake in that moment. 

And then in Episode 7, where it's a little clearer cut that maybe Vegas is trying to use Porsche, although again, I don't think it's 100% clear cut and he tries to kiss him in the bathroom. At that point you feel like Porsche is not interested in this anymore. He's not flirting. He's not. Whatever. But I get the sense that Vegas hasn't quite picked up. He still thinks that maybe he has a chance and again, it's a little bit more iffy as to whether he's seriously into Porsche, or whether he's just playing him. And again, that might just be my interpretation, but I always felt that Vegas had a little bit of a soft spot for Porsche. That's why they were also on my ghost ship nominees list. And then my third one was just—

Ben: I think it works really well for Vegas because of how deeply unwell he is.

NiNi: Oh yeah.

Ben: He probably does like Porsche, but he likes Porsche the only way he can. As a way to bother Kinn, because that's the only thing he's been allowed to care about.

NiNi: That goes back to Vegas as a character, man. We don't have a Best Character award, but if we did…

Ben: We chose not to do best character because–-

NiNi: The reason we don't have a best character award. Because it would just have been too hard. It would have been way too hard to just pick one. We had such an—

Ben: We didn’t want to get into a blorbo fight. 

NiNi: We would have just had an embarrassment of riches. We would have had to basically give out 20 best character awards. So we just decided not to. My third pick for ghost ship—and this was just because it was so cute—there's not even a hint of it on screen, but I was just so attached to the idea.

Ben: That's why I, that's why I was waiting for you to talk about this. Because when you put this on the list and then put your mark by it, I was like—

NiNi: You were like whaaaat?

Ben: –-are they even on screen together ever?

NiNi: They're never on screen together, but I feel like it could have been a contender and that is Jay and Foei from Cutie Pie. Now I know in the end it turns out that Foei gets into kind of a het thing with Hia Yi’s secretary…but. But…Foei is such a ridiculous character and Jay is so not. I would have loved to see them interact in any way, but especially Jay meeting Foei and being like: “You are ridiculous. You have to come home with me.” 

Ben: The first one you put on here that I was like, “I'm not with you sis. And I need you to explain this one to me.” I have been waiting like a week and a half to hear her explanation for this. Because I, I saw this on the list and I was like…”Whatever, I just need to hear her talk this one through.”

NiNi: But yeah, that's it for me. Like I said, there is no basis for it whatsoever in canon. It is a total go ship, a total crack ship. If I were a fan fiction girl, this would be the fan fiction I would write. I love a serious character and a ridiculous character together. I adore it so much. I would have loved to see these two, so that's why they were my third pick. In the end, the best ghost Ship is…

Ben: Todd and Black from Not Me. Congratulations to Sing Harit and Gun Attaphan for bringing together such a compelling dynamic.

NiNi: If you'll ever want to make a Not Me 2 and make that canon…

Ben: [chuckle]

NiNi: [in sing-songy voice] I will be watching. And not just for the sparks either, because the sparks were there, but just the dynamics are so juicy. These are people who have been friends their entire lives and had a serious fracture and they hate each other, but they love each other. I love it. I want to see so much more of that?

Ben: We don't often get dynamics that complicated in BLs. Hats off to the entire cast and crew for making that work.

NiNi: Nuchy. If you ever listen to this, please make Not Me 2. 

00:57:19 Best OT3

NiNi: Moving into our— 

Ben: Our next category—

NiNi: Yes.

Ben: —is best OT3. This is when I'm letting NiNi lead, cause I don't normally do OT3s, so I only brought forth options that I think were really supported by canon this year. We only ended up with three recommendations. So, before we get into who won, we'll just give you the three we had. It was the obviously the Jung Woo, Choco, and Milk trio from Choco Milk Shake—

NiNi: So delightful.

Ben: It was Pat, Pran, and Korn from Bad Buddy; and then it was Jung Hyung, Tae Young, and Jung Woo from Happy Ending Romance.

NiNi: Disclosure, I've only seen two of these. I have not seen Happy Ending Romance, so I can't speak to that, but at, Pran, and Korn in Bad Buddy comes solely and entirely off that scene in Episode 9 before Pat gets shot. I had to bring it up. Sorry, I just did where [laughs]

Ben: I always forget the Pat got shot [chuckles] until you bring it up. I'll just be existing in my world and be like, “Wow, Bad Buddy really is good.” And then you'll be like—

NiNi: [laughs]

Ben: *slides a paper across the desk*: Pat got shot.

NiNi: [laughs] So ridiculous.

The scene after the rugby match [chuckle] when Pat and Pran are having their little cute time and Pat is kind of like: “Well, maybe I'll just stay home and make out with you instead, or” and Korn comes banging on the door and he comes in to get Pat to go out for this victory celebration. And the way he was looking at them and the way that he was kind of like “did we all?” you know. And then the little hand motion he did? Just, he's so nosy. I'm convinced that he wants in on that action and I do not blame him. I mean between—

Ben: The reason why I also let it ride was you get the sense that Pran is very protective of his space. In the show, only two people actually enter his bedroom. It's Ohm and Korn, even Wai never enters his room. His friends hang out in his living room, but you get the sense that in the time from all their flirting in episode 7 and 8 that Korn stood out amongst all of the people they know as someone that Pran also started to really trust. He lets him into their space. He lets Korn see them inside of a space that might just be reserved for them. So.

NiNi: That whole idea of playing with what we're allowed to see and what we're not allowed to see in Bad Buddy, what's for our consumption and what's just for Pat and Pan, and the fact that you're right, Korn is the only person other than Pat that he allows into that very private space of his. It feels like something. And then after they were outed—I will never forgive Wai—Korn was the first person to kind of be like: “I'm on your side. Don't worry about it. Everybody's gonna come around.” And then he started immediately giving Pat shit. And I love, I love a best friend who gives you shit about everything. He give Pat immediate shit. Like, “Where's your… Where's your boyfriend? How is your boyfriend? You all did it yet?” He mentions it more than once. He is so interested in their sex life and what they are doing. I am convinced that he wants to be part of it and I…would like to see it. 

So that's why I picked that for OT3. Do you want to talk Happy Ending Romance? Cause I haven't watched it. Or do you—

Ben: Yeah so—

NiNi: Want to just award?

Ben: Happy Ending Romance is a really Kdrama-esque BL from obviously Korea. So in this one you have a bunch of adults who are all connected around book publishing. Basically this up and coming hotshot, really talented writer ends up causing a kerfuffle in the industry by revealing some shady practices by one of the best selling authors of the era and he gets blacklisted but ends up being sheltered by another writer who becomes…he ends up living with him as a boyfriend and this other guy who was a publisher who worked for the publisher at the time left his position in protest and opened up his own publishing company and then randomly runs into this act—this other… writer, who he's—who's writing he's loved for so long, and he ends up working so hard to reunite with him. And the reason it put, it ends up on this particular list is the…through all the drama that gets resolved, the final shot is of the three of them on the roof together in a way that indicates that these two are a couple, but sometimes he still shows up and it's one of the few that really feels like canon was saying “it could happen.” Which is kind of similar to Choco Milk Shake, but they kinda end up creating separate pairs in that one so…I ended up being like, well, yes, but they pair Milk with Uncle so…

NiNi: To me, when you have anything that looks like a triangle, the answer is pretty much always poly, but [chuckles] I really enjoyed the Jung Woo, Choco, and Milk dynamic, especially at the beginning before Uncle enters the picture for Milk. This idea of them both loving Jung Woo so much and not just loving Jung Woo, but loving each other enough to make the journey together to Jung Woo, which is something I don't see talked about a lot in the Choco Milk Shake dynamic. They make their journey together. 

Ben: It does give off an incredibly specific sibling dynamic

NiNi: Yes, and it's so they love Jung Woo, they love each other. It's the perfect OT3 for me, and that's why it was in the ends up the best OT3.

Ben: It feels like-It feels like they were watching, like, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, and they were like, you know…

NiNi: Oh my God. [laughs] You make me feel old sometimes, Ben. [laughs]

Ben: [laughs] I mean, it's not like I referenced like—we can't talk about that movie, too many animals.

NiNi: Oh my god [laughs] I hate you so much. [laughs] Yeah. No. So like for me, it was just the sense of the fact that they all love each other and that maybe, were it not for Uncle, it could have been an OT3. To me, that makes it the best OT3 of the year, so the 2022 VIIB Award for best OT3 goes to Jung Woo, Choco, and Milk Choco Milk Shake. So our next-

Ben: Sending plate to Strongberry because.

NiNi: Yes. Oh, my God. I think they would appreciate it actually. Like, I think if we actually reached out to Strongberry, but like here you want a Very Important Internet BL Award. Here's a plate. They would actually maybe make a video about it.

Ben: They probably would. They're so…they're so—

NiNi: So accessible.

Ben: –-really, they're so kind to people, I really.

NiNi: Yeah, yeah, this.

Ben: We're not talking about production houses specifically, but I really love the Strongberry has done for a very long time. 

NiNi: I agree. They, they love the fans and it shows.

01:04:40 Best Friendship

NiNi: Our next ship is friendship. And this was so hard because there were so many great friendships and friend groups on screen this last year. I'll talk a little bit about my nominees, so I nominated: from KinnPorsche, Porsche and Yok; I nominated Khua and Diao from Cutie Pie; and I nominated Toh, Jao, Daisy, and Som from Secret Crush on You. 

Now Porsche and Yok, you could call that a friendship, you can call that a mother-son relationship, you can call it whatever they want, but it's clear that those two are ride or die for each other like—

Ben: Like a true queer relationship, it is complicated.

NiNi: Yes, the bisexual and the house mother. It's beautiful to watch anytime Porsche needs advice, particularly about romance and about falling in love, he turns to Yok when he finally, is open with being with Kinn, the place that they go to is they go to Yok’s bar and when he wants to go to a place when he wants to take Tankhun to a place that he feels safe, he takes him to Yok’s bar and, just the dynamic between the two of them is so lovely, I…feel like they truly love each other. He trusted Yok with his baby brother to protect him. I love them. I love them so much. 

NiNi: The second one I nominated was Khua and Diao from Cutie Pie, and that—that's because they felt so lived in and real and modern as a friendship for me. They just, they felt like two friends. 

Ben: Modern is a very good term for them, I think.

NiNi: The scene where Khua and Diao are on the phone and Diao asks “Oh my God. Was it a Nail and Bail?” talking about. [Laughs] Talking about—

Ben: [laughs]

NiNi: Khua and Lian having sexy times. And I nearly died. It was so perfect. They felt like real friends. They talk about their lives. They talk about their loves. They make inappropriate jokes that they couldn't make with anybody else. It felt so real and lived in as a friendship. I loved it so much. It was it for me. Who are you two runners up?

Ben: I think before we, I talk about them, I'll talk about why I think friendship is really important in romance and why we made sure to include itas a category. The big thing about romance is it's about people's ability to form strong and meaningful connections with other people, and it's difficult to appreciate a character falling in love when they don't have people who care about them or that they care about. It's why I think so many villains are really compelling. Like Yzma and Kronk are a great example of this, they wouldn't work if they didn't have this weird twisted relationship with each other. 

And with the two I nominated as runners up, it was Gav and Pearl from Gameboys first because…because they were best friends, then lovers, now back to best friends and Pearl is always there to help Gav, and she asks for really so little in return other than to just be acknowledged and hugged by the boys whenever she does something for them. It's not easy to dial your relationship back with someone and genuinely root for them to fall for someone else and Adriana does that in such a believable way.

Also nominated Nukhua and Khondiao for the same reasons you did. Their particular friendship feels like a gay friendship because you get the real sense that if they both weren't absolutely sprung for Lian or Yi something maybe could have developed between them, but instead they became basically sisters to each other. And I just really love seeing that in genre because we don't often get friendships that feel queer. Which I think is especially important for Cutie Pie, cause you and I were talking about this earlier. How hard Cutie Pie leans into sort of traditional aesthetics with the way they do stuff that the fact that the Khondiao and Nukhua friendship feels so queer, I think, helps keep that show from feeling, from skewing too hard one way or the other. 

So our winner, who we will talk about at length probably, is the quartet from Secret Crush on You of Toh, Khaojao, Daisy, and Som.

NiNi: [sigh]

Ben: I'll let you go first.

NiNi: We nev-er get stories about femmes. Femmes are always the side characters or pushing everybody else into their romances and rooting for them. And not only do we get here a group of femmes and a woman or and two women, one cis woman, one trans woman, and I want to speak specifically about Daisy because I think that Daisy is a breakthrough character for Thai BL. I think that the way that Daisy is created as a character, the way that she interacts with her friends, the way that she interacts with Intouch when Intouch starts flirting with her, everything about her. And then that heartbreaking arc where she tries to butch up. To be seen as a man, when that's not who she is and her friends are there and try to be supportive, but they see how miserable it's making her. That whole arc solidified the entire friendship group for me. Not that it wasn't solid before, but how well they know Daisy and how they know where this desire to be seen as more manly in that moment is coming from. And the fact that they give it room to develop for her until it's clear that it's hurting her.

Ben: They do. 

NiNi: And the minute it's clear.

Ben: They really live that live for— 

NiNi: Yeah, exactly.

Ben: –-like two or three episodes. But I was really impressed how long they let that go and how visibly uncomfortable the friends were along the way. I was sold on the four of them I think from like episode one or two with their whole saying “3 = 4, so you're coming with us.”

NiNi: [laughs] That's nice. That was really good.

Ben: Like that feels like a gay friend group if I've ever seen one. You can't bail, Khaojao, you're coming with us. I just really love the way they care for each other. They're just so special. Like, yeah, there's a lot of great friend groups in BL, like, we're going to, there's always going to be like, Pharm, Manow, and Team. These four are very special. It's—

NiNi: They really are.

Ben: Part of why I ended up giving, I argued for Seng as best actor honestly is in the I think it's Episode 11 where they have that confrontation with Daisy, about what's going on. Seng who could otherwise dominate a scene dials back his performance so as not to distract. Like, that whole scene works so well, because it doesn't feel like it's just Daisy and Som talking to each other while Khaojao and Seng—Khaojao and Toh look sad off to the side. It felt like the four of them were together and the other two boys stepped back to let Som speak to Daisy as a woman.

NiNi: Yeah, woman to woman.

Ben: And made space for that.

NiNi: Just incredible. Just.

Ben: To those folks at Idle Factory, very, good job on that one.

NiNi: IdolFactory is killing the game when it comes to queering BL. And that sounds like—

Ben: Absolutely, absolutely.

NiNi: —that seems like a weird phrase to say, but, but they, they are.

Ben: Absolutely incredible from all, all four of them. Just—

NiNi: Yeah, it's just.

Ben: –-outstanding set of performances— 

NiNi: There's no question 

Ben: —for a long series, honestly. Really, really great job.

NiNi: And just like little things too, like them on the night out, them and the French maid outfits. These are people who genuinely—

Ben: Jao running to bring his own box of shit he's horaded from his interactions with Sky.

NiNi: Yes, [laughs] with Sky. They just…they love each other. They have fun together. They are there for each other through thick and thin. They give each other shit. They yell at each other when they need yelling at. They feel like real friends. That's amazing.

Ben: Let Saint know. We're sending a plate to IdolFactory

NiNi: We are sending a plate to IdolFactory without a doubt. So our Best Friendship of VIIB Award for 2022 goes out to Toh, Khaojao, Daisy, and Som from Secret Crush on You. Congratulations to them and to IdolFactory. Yaaaaaayyyy. 

Saint, you're getting a plate, it's in the mail.

1:14:10 Battle Royal Best Side Ship

NiNi: Now, we come to the Battle Royale. The head to head. Where Ben and I are going to duke it out because we could not agree on anything in this category and that is best side ship, now…

Ben: We have zero agreement, our basic model for this was we threw up some nominations for people who we think did a good job in each category, and then we each marked the three that we thought did a great job and then where we both agreed we were like, “Okay, that's just going to be the winner to keep it simple,” where we had multiple agreement we had a small discussion that we would and then we went, all right we'll save the rest of this for the, the recording. We have zero agreement at all about best side ship.

NiNi: No. And as Ben said when we started, we thought about whether we should discuss it before or save it for on air. And we agreed to save it for on air. And one of the reasons was that Ben and I, I think, have two very different metrics for looking at side ships, two very different ways of viewing them. And that's why we each picked who we picked. 

Ben, I'm going to allow you to go first. Who are your three nominees for best side ship?

Ben: I selected for best side ship: Sky and Khaojao from Secret Crush on You; Yok and Dan from Not Me; and Khan and Thua from The Eclipse.

NiNi: I selected Ink and Pa from Bad Buddy; Kim and Chay from KinnPorsche; and Syn and Nuer from Cutie Pie. I'm going to cede the floor, you have won the coin toss. Go ahead. Convince me.

Ben: I think I'll just talk first. I'll talk first about what I want out of a side ship. For me a, a side ship should not distract from the main ship, the main couple. They need to feel as if they are adding a level of nuance to the themes being described in the show itself, the sideshow from Golden Blood ended up outclassing what was going on with the main ship, which distracts, because that's not even like a bodyguard adjacent pairing of any sort. 

I selected Khaojao, Khan and Thua, and Yok and Dan because of how they contribute to the primary themes being explored and the work they're in. As opposed to any other metrics that I think stand out. What were the…the primary criteria for you for your side ships?

NiNi: So, I think it's well established that I am not a fan of side couples in general. For me, a side couple has to be such that if they wrote the main story about the side couple, it would still work for me. So if they flipped main ship and side ship, I would still want to watch the story. 

Ben: That’s really interesting.

NiNi: And that's my main criterion. That is my main criterion for side ships. If they are interesting enough to hold me even without the main ship, if they are driving story themselves, if they are deeply integrated into the story in such a way that you could really flip it and it wouldn't lose anything, that's what does it for me. So that's—

Ben: Yeah, I think that makes total sense and that's why we probably didn't. That's why we selected different things.

NiNi: Of the ones that I picked, for all that, they had barely any screen time, Kim and Chay goes to number one with a bullet for me because Kimlock Holmes and Porchay, will go to the top of the list for me, because whatever Kim has going on is obviously deeply integrated into the story. And one of the reasons that I am really convinced that we're getting a second series of KinnPorsche. Is that the story ended in the middle? As far as I'm concerned, because we don't know what's actually happening with Kim and with Kim and Porchay. So, the fact that the other stories seemed to be tied up with a little bow that didn't matter to me, it still felt unfinished because there is obviously something going on with Kim. 

My favorite dynamic in a couple I've said is a junkyard dog and the only person allowed to pet them, so Kim and Chay is absolutely top of my list here. From the minute Chay walks into his life, he is fighting a losing battle. Eventually he just gives up and accepts that Chay utterly owns him. He will do literally anything. He will kill, he will maim, he will cover himself in blood to protect Chay, and Chay is the only thing that he cares about. He doesn't, I don't even think he even cares about his family as much as he cares about Chay. For me, that is the best side ship of 2022, of all the ones that I picked. 

I also picked, as I said, InkPa from Bad Buddy. I think why is obvious. I think they're delightful. I think they're delectable. I think that the way that they fell in love is so real. My lesbian friends have demonstrated this to me time and time again, where it's kind of like “I like her, but do I like her like her?” and they spend all this time and I'm just sitting on the sidelines like, “girl you're in love. Why? Why are we still talking about this?” They're like, worried about this. Like, I don't know. Like, I think maybe she was into me, but it was so real for me. And I loved it. I loved that they could have flipped. Again, as much as I love Pat and Pran as much as I love the main story of Bad Buddy, if they had flipped it and given me Pat and Pran as a side couple and Ink and Pa as the main couple, I think I would have still watched. So that said a lot to me.

And then Syn and Nuer, I mean, come on, they're just adorable. Syn, this very religious, very innocent boy, suddenly just getting hot under the collar for this hottie who just walks into his class and he just doesn't know what to do with it. This kid is flirting with him. He's just like, ohh, I'd like—

Ben: At first, he's mostly protective of his friend because he knows Nukhua and Lian are it for each other.

NiNi: When the attention shifts and Nuer notices Syn, and then from that moment on, that's it from for him. Syn is so coy and sweet. And that's not usually the type of character that I'm into, but it works for this and Nuer is so naughty. The way that he talks to send, it's very respectful, but it's also very, very, very cheeky.

Ben: He, he toes the line in his piety.

NiNi: He wants to wreck that boy and Syn knows it as well. And he's just kind of like oh. “Well, I kind of want to be wrecked, but, then again, I'm also a bride of Buddha.” It's so delightful, I—

Ben: It's really fascinating listening.

NiNi: –-love their dynamic.

Ben: It's fascinating listening to your explanation for what you like out of side ships because I feel like it's not the way I appreciate them at all because I don't, I wouldn't want the series to be flipped like the, the star-crossed thing with Pat and Pran doesn't play out with Ink and Pa that way. I like Ink and Pa in that particular story because their gentle falling for each other underscores that homophobia is not the problem in this story. Because Pat’s parents don't have a problem with Ink at all. It's just that particular boy is the problem.

For Syn and Nuer, Cutie Pie is so much about this arranged marriage, you have a responsibility to this person dynamic that Syn and Nuer, as fun as they are, they just don't feel like they play into that particular set of circumstances or the age gap thing either because they're actually the same age. Which, I guess allows them as a point of comparison relative to the mains. And for Kim and Porchay, as much as I love Jeff and Barcode, they're in a completely different type of show from everyone else. They barely interact with the rest of the cast over the course of the show.

NiNi: Uh-huh, exactly. Yes.

Ben: Like Barcode—like Barcode’s character, Porchay is in like a, I got discovered by my idol romance.

NiNi: But think about it, if that was the story and then there's all this mafia shit happening in the background, wouldn’t that just be [giggles] delightful?

Ben: I mean, it would be Love in the Air.

NiNi: [laughs] Fair enough. It would be Love in the Air. Kind of love that. So anyway, that's me. What about you?

Ben: All right, so I first chose Sky and Khaojao because in a show about femmes, and fats, and other undesirables being chosen as loved ones. I like that Sky and Neua are so determined when it comes to Toh and Khaojao, and in particular I like their dynamic because it takes a lot for Jao to come around to it, because he keeps thinking that he might be being toyed with, or he's just going to get dumped and hurt. But once he does start to accept that he likes Sky, he becomes really possessive of him and starts mean-mugging other characters, particularly women in the series.

NiNi: [giggles] Surprise makes such excellent faces.

Ben: When they go on that run and that woman is clearly trying to strut for [chuckles] Sky and he goes “Shoo!” And so like what works really well for me with Sky and Khaojao, is that it helps reinforce how normal Nuea wants to be seen because he and Sky are best friends and they're both begging Toh and Khaojao to stop elevating them and putting them on this level. The, the desperation of: “We love you. We're not Gods or other special people because we play basketball where people think we're especially attractive. We just want to be seen as guys who really like you. We don't want you feeling like we're going to bail on you constantly.” Their relationship helps reinforce how normal Nuea wants his relationship with Toh to be. Because the same thing is kind of playing out twice, it helps reinforce that this shouldn't be spectacular.

Ben: With Yok and Dan in Not Me, you have a series about radicals fighting against the system, and one of your more radical members ends up falling for a cop in this, a cop who is maybe struggling with the, his own role in the system he creates protest art on the side, but he makes money selling NFT's…what, what a character.

NiNi: What a character. I mean, wow. But then again…Not Me is about the characters you meet in the leftist movement.

Ben: Exactly. And so like that really stands out for me when you're talking about the role of Yok and Dan in say this story. They instantly complicate the narrative that it isn't easy to do us and them when you're focusing on systemic change, because it isn't easy. There are people who are gonna end up serving as agents of the system because there just aren't a lot of great options otherwise. That's part of how the systems maintain themselves and what happens when radicals fall for these agents. What is the fallout of that? It would have been easy to just make them hate each other. But the fact that Yok becomes so insane for Dan really makes that work really well for me. 

And then finally with Khan and Thua. Khan and Thua, I think are necessary to make the Ayan and Akk relationship function in the show. Because Ayan is a gay boy from outside of the system of Suppalo. And so we have him falling for Akk and the complications that happen when somebody who has seen the outside world wants to show you what it actually looks like. We have as a necessary point of comparison what gay boys inside of the system who care about each other look like with  Khan and Thua. And, I don't think it's possible to appreciate Akk and Ayan without the tension and desperation over small acts that  Khan and Thua are riding the whole time like Ayan is demanding so much more from Akk constantly. And here we see Khan and Thua, basically surviving literally on scraps the whole time and that, for me, makes them my best side couple of the year. Because they’re necessary to their particular story in a way that the others almost aren't. 

Like, we could have done like we have…other options with Sky—with Secret Crush on You because there's Daisy and Intouch. They could have been blown up more. But, I think specifically for what The Eclipse wants to talk about with systemic homophobia, you need Khan and Thua in the conversation of Akk and Ayan. And then, the teacher's name, I can't remember right now, and Ayan’s uncle. Without them playing their roles in the story, I think it makes Ayan exceedingly exceptional. I think they provide context that's necessary for Ayan’s exceptionalism.

NiNi: I like how your thought process worked to Khan and Thua showing what it takes to be gay inside the system and still be able to try to at least be yourself and what it takes for that to happen. Because we see how hard it is for Khan and Thua to work their way towards each other. They are clearly people who care about each other. But Khan is going to slap away Thua’s hand if he tries to touch him. Coming to the end where he kisses him out in the open—

Ben: And that doesn't—

NiNi: –-on the beach.

Ben: –-happen without Ayan’s role in their story either.

NiNi: And it doesn't. It doesn't. That's true. I feel like you're, you're bringing me around on Khan and Thua. You're bringing me around. So, if I drop one of mine in order to also agree on Khan and Thua, I probably would drop…maybe Syn and Nuer, as much as I enjoy them. I feel like a story about Syn and Nuer doesn't say as much as the story about Khan and Thua, so I will. I will lean into one of yours. Any one of mine that you're, you're going to lean into.

Ben: I think in terms of accepting your argument about flipping the story and then being really interested in the side couple story as a result. I would agree to drop, because we basically see their story already and Not Me, there really isn't that much else to say. I'll say we can drop Yok and Dan in favor of Kim and Porchay.

NiNi: Okay, climbing closer together. So then our two points of agreement and where we're going to choose between our Kim and Porchay, versus Khan and Thua. And I think we've got pretty strong arguments for both of them. I will admit though that my KimPorchay love is partly because I need to see what happens to them next, where I feel like Khan and Thua’s story is pretty well wrapped up within the series. But also again that dynamic, I just love that dynamic that basically Kim will bite off anybody's hand that comes near him except for Chay. But that's just my personal thing. So I'm conceding.

Ben: I'm arguing that The Eclipse would be an absolutely insane show if we flipped it and focused entirely on the perspective of Thua [chuckle] watching all of this shit going down.

NiNi: I concede.

Ben: Yes. Yesss!

NiNi: So the winner of the best side ship 2022 VIIB award is Khan and Thua from The Eclipse. And Ben has convinced me and let me—

Ben: Congratulations to Neo and Louis!!

NiNi: –-tell you all. Congratulations to Neo and Louis. Congratulations to you, Ben, because it is very hard to convince me of anything and you convinced me about this. So congratulations to you. You will also get a plate. Congratulations to them. And now…

Ben: Whoof, oof, that was a hard, that was difficult. [laughs]

NiNi: That was a hard one. That was a real hard one. I'm glad we agreed to duke it out on the podcast, though, because that was a lot of fun.

Ben: I think it was a good choice. This would, like we would have done fine in text. But, I really enjoyed hearing you talk about what you enjoy inside ships because that was a lot of fun.

NiNi: With all the stuff that we have coming up and all the side ships that are happening and stuff that's airing now that we're going to be talking about in the spring. I think I'm gonna look at your way of looking at it a little bit more. So, you've changed my mind that that's not enough.

Ben: Thank you. I just watched too many shows, so the idea of flipping the show to watch it again, we're seeing that right now with Between Us and we both have thoughts about that.

NiNi: We'll save those for the spring show when Between Us is over and we can talk about it in full detail. Now, for the main event of the night.

01:32:20 Best Main Ship

NiNi: Best main ship. My three nominees for best main ship were PatPran from Bad Buddy. I don't think I need to explain this anymore, they were everything. They were the moment, they were life giving. They were devastating. They were hilarious. They were fantastic. 

My second nominee is Toh and Nuea from Secret Crush on You because you don't expect their story when you start watching to go anywhere, like where it went and it was some really clever writing. It was some really beautiful acting. I really enjoyed it. 

So those are my runners up, who are your runners up?

Ben: But this is a very difficult section for me because we said this in the pre show, but I engaged with 92 productions this year and NiNi engaged with maybe like 20?

NiNi: I don't even know if it was 20. I have to actually count, but I think it was more like 15.

Ben: Yeah, so 15, maybe 20. So I've seen a lot of dynamics and I put a lot on this list who, unfortunately I will not have enough time to talk about here. My two runners up are: Phayu and Rain from Love In The Air and then Pluem and Kevin from Ghost House, Ghost House. 

So, Phayu and Rain there is some worrisome consent stuff with them, but I just don't choose to focus on it because I've accepted some of the rules of MAME’s world having been engaged with enough of her work at this point. And so the reason why I end up like Phayu and Rain so much is particularly for MAME. There is no drama in their relationship. All of the factors that complicate their dynamic are entirely external. They are an incredibly straightforward example of two people who saw each other from afar, decided they liked each other, and then started pursuing each other. 

There are kink elements to them being like a lifestyle D/s couple, but there's nothing dark about Phayu. He can be a little stern, but he has a job that seems to be paying him well, he's loved and respected by his colleagues at his day job, he's admired and respected at the upscale auto shop he runs. There's nothing wrong with his parents. He gets along with his brother. He has a good relationship with his best friend. There's nothing dark about him that needs fixing. The, his relationship with Rain is just…he is a lifestyle dom looking for a sub. And he found his ideal one in Rain and worked his ass off to make that work. And it's the same for Rain. He's loved by his mom. He's beloved by his friends as the idiot of their group, and the only thing that really goes wrong with their particular dynamic is the mafia shit with the racing nonsense. Better than that, I really like them for that.

With Pluem and Kevin and Ghost House, Ghost House…I talked about this earlier, there's just something very specifically queer about the entire way their relationship unfolds. It feels grounded in a world that the rest of us could live in as well, and they do the rare thing in BL of showing a couple together after they've chosen each other, which is another reason why I like Phayu and Rain. I really liked the execution of them falling into the background to support once they transitioned to the Prapai and Sky segment of this show. That is incredibly well done. Pluem and Kevin get together properly around Episode 5 or 6, and then we get to see them doing boyfriend things for about two solid episodes before they do the required breakup nonsense and get back together because it's romance. You have to split the couple up so that we see that their lives suck now that they're separate. I get it. The genre demands it. It gets on my nerves.

Nini: [chuckles]

Ben: So those are my two runners up. I like, I like the specific queerness of how both of those couples felt, and I really liked how all of the issues that they struggled from are external to them and not necessarily in their control. And there's just something really special about the way those two pairs genuinely liked each other that really stood out for me this year. Not to mention for Phayu and Rain, both of those guys are newcomers. Boy and Todd aren't newcomers, but I was not expecting that from either of them.

NiNi: But in the end, despite all our runners up and all the other members of the long list, and this one was a long list, we instantly agreed on the winner which I don't think happened for anything else, did it?

Ben: Not in this week's worth of selections.

NiNi: No, no, no. So our winner for best main Ship VIIB Awards 2022 is Togawa and Nozue from Old Fashion Cupcake. This one was a surprise for me. The fact that I didn't even question it.

Ben: You don't normally like Japanese shows.

NiNi: It's not that I don't like Japanese shows, it's that I've been having a hard time with Japanese BL this year. What I have seen I have enjoyed, but I haven't been compelled to watch much of it. It hasn't been grabbing me. There are two shows in particular that you told me that I had to watch, one that we're gonna talk about in our special class program. This one was the other one, Old Fashion Cupcake and you're like “you, you've got to watch this. You've got to watch this.” So I did give a spin and.

Ben: No, it was short too. So that's why I got you to agree.

NiNi: Yeah. And I was completely hooked. Absolutely, completely. Ben likes stories, and so do I. Ben likes stories about older people finding love because we are both old. I'm older than Ben, but guess.

Ben: I am, I am the resident What Did You Eat Yesterday? stan anywhere we go.

NiNi: Yes, which is another one that you introduced me to actually. And again thank you for that. You're always introducing me to great Japanese BL and queer stories. So we are older than your average BL fan and as much as we enjoy all the coming of age and first love and all of those narratives and all of the young, hot things in college and the office narrative. There is something about watching an older man who is sort of having a little bit of a mid-life crisis be gently pulled into this relationship with a colleague who is still of a decent age. I think he's 30.

Ben: Thirty-one or two, I believe.

NiNi: So he's 10 years younger, but he's still not a kid. Watching that happen, it was fascinating to me. I felt like I understood them in a certain kind of way.

Ben: I think one of the special aspects about the way Japan handles romance. One of the factors underpinning what they seem to enjoy the most is devotion, particularly if it's been going on for a long time. So with Togawa, he became devoted to Nozue when he first joined the company and was kind of in a rut because he was overworking and Nozue we gently chided him and was just like: “Well, don't forget to enjoy your life along the way, it's just a job.” And Togawa took that completely to heart, and he has an incredible zest for life. It's reinforcing his characterization constantly, like when he's eating something, he shoves huge bites into his mouth. He doesn't eat in a polite way per say— 

NiNi: Yes

Ben: —because he loves the taste of food. He works out a little bit to stay healthy, but he seems to enjoy activities that allow him to be physical and about. He continues to enjoy his life and when he sees Nozue forgetting that and kind of spiraling that's when he moves forward and makes his own regard for him present. And I just really like the choice of someone to share how much they love someone beyond just supporting them quietly because they feel the need to help them more. Maybe it's some of my current love of an airing show is, is bleeding over right now, but I really, really enjoy that. And then for Togawa in particular, he's got a genuine desire for Nozue. Like the final oner from Episode 4 of Old Fashioned Cupcake—

NiNi: Mmm, that one take scene?

Ben: —is so believable it works so well because Togawa seems to have gotten himself caught off-guard. Like, he's been restraining himself all this time and he finally confesses how he feels about Nozue and it comes rushing out of him in a way that he wasn't prepared for. Because you get the sense that he's been preparing for this moment and it just sort of happens and it's a mess and isn't just that Togawa is pulling himself out, Nozue responds in the moment, even though he's a bit overwhelmed by it. And there’s just something really special to me about the ten years of gentle support they gave each other, then turning into committed dedication that as much as I really loved a lot of BL this year. I was asked who was the best, the best ship of the year. It's these two.

NiNi: I would have mentioned in the pre show that I process my feelings through media because I'm not always sure of what I'm feeling, but if I see a character going through something, it triggers something in me. Something maybe that I have been noodling in the back of my head or some aspect of my life that I couldn't figure out and it clicks for me, when I see the character going through it. So one of the things for me, I was watching Old Fashioned Cupcake at a point in my life where I am going through a bit of a midlife crisis myself. [laughs] I've been sort of through the wringer the last few years in terms of what is the meaning of life? What am I doing here? What is my purpose? Why don't I enjoy things anymore? And watching Togawa take Nozue to these little cafes, and feed him these desserts, and tell him: “Let's have some mindless fun. Let's gossip. Let's talk about the things that teenage girls talk about. Let's be silly. Let's be immature a little bit. Let me remind you that life is fun.” 

Ben: That didn't translate as well in the initial subs, but there were a lot of Japanese levels of interaction with the way that they were playing with gendered language— 

NiNi: Mhm

Ben: —and familiarity of language and all their interactions, that is unfortunately difficult to translate into English because we don't have those many hierarchies right away. But I felt it.

NiNi: The way they would speak to each other at the office was completely different to the way that they would speak to each other on the dates that they were having. Which, Nozue didn't realize were dates-

Ben: Have to con your man into a date. 

NiNi: —and then again it was a completely different way from the way that Togawa in particular spoke to Nozue when he had that moment and became overwhelmed and kissed him. There are levels of intimacy, there's levels of formality, there's all of these different things happening because they have such a complicated relationship in the sense that they are senior and junior at work. They have such a big age gap. They are,I hate these terms. I never like using them, but, the seme and uke thing, as well. There were so many levels to what was happening between the two of them in addition to all this stuff about Nozue’s midlife crisis, and his existential feeling of, well, “It's just a straight shot to the grave at this point. So why am I even? There's nothing to enjoy.” The dynamics of it are so fun. 

And one of the things that I enjoy about BL, the way that it uses language. Because Asian languages, they have so many levels of pronoun and tone and everything for speaking to people who are at different levels of familiarity and different levels of age and different levels of all these things that those nuances that you don't get in Western languages. You can do it in a Western production, but it's much harder to get the same idea across with the economy of language that you can in an Asian production. So, I really, really enjoyed that about Old Fashioned Cupcake. I enjoyed Togawa and Nozue just vibing…having a great time. I enjoy when the feelings boiled over. I enjoyed how Nozue was into it, but then he was so scared because he had never even considered before in his life that he could be queer. And, it was just like whew, overwhelmed, completely overwhelmed. 

And then at the end, when he goes to Togawa in the end and they're in the alley and they're, oh my God, that ending it's just [sigh] when he accepts the way that he feels and the way that Togawa feels about him, and they're in the alley and they're smiling and they're it's so lovely. It's so lovely. I feel about it very similarly to the way I feel about the ending of What Did You Eat Yesterday? when—

Ben: Kenji’s cutting Shiro’s hair?

NiNi: Kenji’s cutting Shiro’s hair, yes, and the way that they've been fighting, I think, over this cafe thing for like an episode or two at this point. And they went to the cafe in the end and I can't remember exactly what happened. I haven’t watched it in a few months, so I have to watch it again because—

Ben: Well, the, the cafe bit is interesting because it comes up very early in like episode one or two. Kenji suggests they go to it and Shiro doesn't want to be seen or perceived a certain way. And the final sort of movements of the original run of What Did You Eat Yesterday? feature Shiro allowing himself to enjoy these cutesy things because he knows they make Kenji happy.

NiNi: The end of Old Fashioned Cupcake puts me in mind of that, even though it's quite different because they're not doing these things to make each other happy. Togawa genuinely enjoys these things and he wants to share them with Nozue. So, it's not a question of one of them doing it for the other person, just to make them feel better, but it still has the same feeling. I don't really know why, but I think it's just that feeling of love and understanding and acceptance that they have for each other.

Ben: It is the rare show this—it is the rare show from this past year that I genuinely hope gets a continuation.

NiNi: I do. I want to see more of them.

Ben: I want to see what domesticity is like for them, and I gotta be honest. One of the things I really want to see from Japan at some point is intimacy from committed people. I think of all of the countries producing BL, they're the country that I most want to see tackle that. Like, Thailand came a little bit close to that this year with My Ride with Mork's uncles. It's something that I really want to see positively explored. These two were really great. We had a lot of people on this list for potential consideration again, I've seen a lot more stuff than any, but we were obviously going to agree on these two, but I didn't feel a strong sense of, oh, man need to argue for a bunch of the other people who ended up not even making the nomination cut.

Because as good as they are, Togawa and Nozue stand out in this year as a dynamic that: 1) I think really only Japan can do. And 2) as something that stands above the genre. Like, I joke sometimes that Japan languishes a bit. They realize they surrendered J-Pop to Korea and now K-Pop is dominant, and they've kind of laxed and they let Thailand have BL, but Thailand doesn't ever consistently hit Japanese quality levels. They didn't feel threatened by it. But with the current rise of Korea and the Philippines putting out some noteworthy products that people want in Japan, like that's part of the Gameboys distribution hell is the Japanese people apparently really like Gameboys. That's affecting its distribution. Korea is in the space and Thailand's putting out some great products, because I Told Sunset About You clearly was a moment that affected the whole world.

NiNi: Oh my gosh.

Ben: It's not that particular podcast. We'll talk about that at some point for sure. It feels like Japan is trying to do this thing where it's as a reminder we let you have this. L-E-T. And Togawa and Nozue feel like one of those examples. I think of also from Japan this year, there were a lot of…all of the stand out couples for me that I think really lingered with me this year, most of them came from Japan.

NiNi: For me this year I have been so Thai-heavy because I think in a certain way Thai BLs, even the challenging ones, are easier to watch than some of the other countries. They're easier to slide into, the emotions are so juked you feel them in a particular kind of way. Whereas particularly with Japanese BL, you almost have to work for it a little bit. So I don't think I felt like doing a lot of that work, which is why I watched very few Japanese productions in the past year. Mostly ended up watching what you recommended Ben, which would have been Old Fashioned Cupcake, Koisenu Futari, which we're going to talk about in another episode, and…what else did I watch from Japan this year? I think I watched more old stuff from Japan this year, so I watched Utsukushii Kare finally and I haven't been feeling to invest in that particular kind of way. I've been really Thailand focused. I haven't watched anything from Taiwan. I've watched only a few things from Korea, only a few things from Japan. But I—

Ben: It's a real disappointment that you skipped out on some of the, the offerings from Taiwan because, we'll probably talk about the Taiwan stuff more next week, cause we're going to be talking about some music stuff where that'll come up in the discussion

NiNi: Yeah, I think we're definitely going to talk about Taiwan in our next episode because I think we'll be doing sort of a country by country breakdown as part of our industry discussion. So, look out for that. 

1:51:28 Wrap Up

NiNi: But in the meantime, let's wrap this up. We've got to close this one off, otherwise we will talk forever. You know we will.

Ben: Congratulations to all of our winners. And for those of you who weren't nominated or did not win, please know that it was not for lack of love for the work you did this year.

NiNi: Oh my, you should see some of—

Ben: 2022 was—

NiNi: —these long lists.

Ben: 2022 was an incredible year for the genre in a way that—

NiNi: It really was.

Ben: Like there were some misses this year, but the swings were so noteworthy that I don't really feel like there was a lot of phoning it in this year. Everybody really tried to bring their best efforts to whatever project they were involved in, and there was, there was something worthwhile to talk about in every show that I watched. Even the shows I dropped there was something really special happening in that show that was worth discussing.

NiNi: For me, of the 15 shows [laughs]

Ben: [laughs]

NiNi: —that I watched in 2022 from beginning to end, I think it might have been more than 15, but I didn't watch anything close to as many as you did. But, I got into the things that I knew were going to give me brainworms because, those, for me it's much easier go to something that I know is gonna haunt me in a particular kind of way, not in the way the Japanese cinema haunts me.

NiNi: This has been the first part of the very important Internet BL awards. The VIIB Awards for 2022. All the winners. Congratulations, your plates will be in the mail. Our next—

Ben: Those of you who joined us, thank you.

NiNi: Thank you very much for listening to our inaugural ramblings. Our next part, Part 2, which will be going up very soon after this one, is our technical awards and industry discussion. So we're going to talk all things behind the scenes: music, production, direction, all those kinds of things and we're going to talk a lot about—

Ben: Going to get nerdy.

NiNi: We're gonna get real nerdy, and then we're going to talk. Shoot the shit about what 2022 was like for us in terms of what we watch, what we didn't watch, what we're interested in, what are the themes that we saw happening. Both in the art and in the industry, so look out for that. That'll be following on really soon. 

And just to give a little teaser, our part three of the VIIB Awards are going to be our best in class and our special class. Which, I think you will not want to miss. We have two special class awards to give out. I think you'll like what we chose. I think you will like what we have to say about them. We've held it, we haven't discussed these at all because we did not want to blow our wad, so to speak. So you'll be getting our takes fresh on our special class program. So look out for that. Anything else you want to say before we leave the people, Ben?

Ben: No, it's been a lot of fun and I'm just glad that we're finally doing this and I can't wait to get into the Part 2 stuff.

NiNi: Ben and I are nerds, so of course the nerdiest part of this is going to be our most fun part. We are out. See you next time. Bye!

Ben: Bye!

NiNi: Say bye to the people, Ben.

Ben: I did!

NiNi: Thank you.

[p0rkbun]

Nah cuz dropping stuff is the worst though😭 especially when it’s new and it immediately cracks

I used to buy things impulsively too, I still do to be honest. But I have gotten better at stopping myself when I don’t have a lot of money. And my mom takes care of my savings so I can’t take from that (I asked her to cuz I know that if I had control over it I’d just take money out of it) see I do get quite a lot, like I’m not broke. I’m not rich either though, but I always spend it on food at school even though I have food with me😭 it’s useful that your parents sent you money for school though, I always just have to buy notebooks and stuff from my clothing money (which to be fair is a lot, compared to normal pocket money)

Girl I wish😔 jealous fr. Wish my aunts and uncles were rich. My ex was mad rich and sometimes I regret breaking up with her purely cuz she had like a whole ass box full of gifts for me, that she was gonna give to me on my birthday. But I broke up with her before she send it💀 but I’m also not a golddigger tho so I wasn’t gonna just stay for that. Ngl i do want a sugar mommy tho, but I want Melissa, Jenna or Dior to be my sugar mommy. I hope you get money for Chinese new year! Money is money and I’d say it’s always welcome

Nah cuz aryan and his girlfriend are adorable. Girl I’m too obsessed with Dior fr, like I’m literally getting jealous of the guy that plays Chris😭 they should recast me as Chris fr

You're just like me! I mean like I'm not broke or rich, more like on the middle I guess? My mother does do strict precautions about money, she means in a good way of course! I don't mind. She's a hard worker, I love and respect her for it <3 all I buy from school are usually school supplies if I run out or occasionally something to eat, but I feel like I always buy water haha. I find it easier since I don't really carry a personal water bottle.

GIRL YOU DATED?!? That's so surprising but I guess considering that she's your ex, she wasn't the best experience? Glad you enjoyed some parts of it :) and yes I too want a sugar mommy, maybe like when I'm older LMAO even though I desperate for one right now at the age of sixteen 😭 not that I want to spend money really, it's just I need money so I can study abroad 💀

Andrew needs to chill out with my girlfriend (dior) /j 🙄

[spaceorphan18]

Scenes from December (20/24)

Klaine Advent Day Twenty : Recast

****

December, 2064

Kurt’s hands fumbled with the tie.  He stood in front of the mirror, decked out in a full three-piece suit (complete with appropriate raven brooch on his lapel), trying to do something he had done a thousand times before, but he couldn’t quite make the knot.  Frustrated, he threw his hands down.  Why did he have to go to this thing anyway? Why did he let them talk him into doing a retirement party? And why did it have to involve the fanciest clothes he owned?  If it were up to him, he would have slipped off into the night quietly.  He didn’t really need the accolades -- the validation of a lifetime's worth of work.  

“Would you like me to get that for you?” Blaine asked.  Kurt didn’t need to answer as Blaine swooped in, still able to work the fabric as easily had he done all his life.  He took a moment, straightening it, then dusted off Kurt’s shoulders, looking him up and down.  “You look quite stunning tonight, Mr. Hummel.” A smirk lay on his lips.  

Kurt only grumbled.  No amount of Blaine’s charm would appease him tonight.  “Well, Mr. Anderson, I’d really prefer to get this over with and be done with it.” 

“Kurt, what is it?” Blaine stepped closer, tugging on Kurt’s tie a little.  There was concern in his eyes.  “You’ve been like this all week.” 

“There are just a million things for people to worry about,” Kurt said, gruffly.  “You’d think that my retirement would just make it easier for them.  They can get back to hiring a new lighting guy or recasting the understudy who flew off to Germany on a whim.  I’m just the obligation written down in the planner.” 

“Oh, Kurt, you know you mean more to them than that, right?  That’s the whole purpose of tonight.” 

Kurt let out a tiny sigh, and moved to sit on the end of the bed.  

The Gilbert-Hummel Theater had celebrated its forty-third year of operation, and after being there through all of it -- managing a theater wasn’t quite where he had thought his career would go, but life never really went the way you expected -- he was finally stepping down.  Elliott had left years ago, selling his half to a nephew who loved theater.  Kurt at least was keeping it the family -- Tracy said she’d take over his duties, and she even said she’d try to get one of her boys to follow in her footsteps.  

If Blaine had pressed him, however, he would have admitted that it wasn’t the theater he was worried about.    He was proud of his legacy.  The theater was small, and had never made a huge splash in New York’s crowded theater world, but their productions had been mostly critically acclaimed, smaller productions that usually made back what they put into it.  There were cast and crew who had their start in his tiny theater to go on to do bigger and better things.  Maybe, perhaps when he was younger, he might have been somewhat jealous that those around him went on to make more of a name for themselves, but he didn’t begrudge them now.  He was grateful for the steady and stable life the theater had given him.  He was grateful for all the memories.  

The problem was -- now what? 

Blaine sat on the bed next to him, grabbing onto his hand.  Kurt leaned over to rest his head on Blaine’s comfortable shoulder.  

“You know - I waited years and years to be given this amount of free time,” Kurt said.  “I worked really hard my whole life to get to this point and now that I’m here -- I’m not sure what to do with it all.” 

“Oh,” Blaine said, with a soft smile.  “Like you won’t find other things to fill it up with.  Maybe I can push you to do all the things you've been talking about doing -- like writing that musical you’ve been talking about since your thirties or maybe you can do some freelance fashion work or hire that plumber to fix the sink like I’ve asked you to do a hundred times.” 

“Hey - you can call them, too,” Kurt teased, laughing into Blaine’s shoulder.  Kurt let out another heavy sigh.  “Oh, well, I have been looking forward to a really long nap.  Are you sure we really need to be there for this? Can’t we just stay home and fall asleep on the couch in more comfortable clothes like we usually do?” 

“We can do that tomorrow,” Blaine said.  He stood up, and held out his hand, waiting for Kurt to take it.  

Kurt grumbled again, but took Blaine’s hand anyway.  “You know, I’m going to remember this when we have your retirement party.” 

“Are you kidding?” Blaine let out a laugh.  “I’m not going to retire.  Do you know that right now there are probably a good ten or so doctoral students all plotting my murder in an attempt to get my position at the university?   I figure as long as I still have my mental facilities why not have fun torturing them.” 

“You’re absolutely diabolical, Mr. Anderson.” 

“Well, I wonder where I learned it from, Mr. Hummel.”

[wench-and-jezebel]

Dark Angel Reaction: The Kidz are Aiight

Jezebel (@typicalopposite) reacts [with occasional asides by Wench (@scripted-downfall)]

Oh god😕ew [What a way to start]

LINTLICKER!!! ITS BEEN A WHILE

JEEZ

Seee this is the part where he seems to not care.  Like oh I love them …. But I’ll also let them die to find the others

[btw um.  Remember how I've mentioned the whole.  PsyOps thing.  That I've mentioned.  Occasionally.  because... this is PsyOps.]  OH SHIT not the laser to the eyeeeee!?!?  Blech

Is this a different Zach?  Like a recast?  [No, I don't think.  He's just.  Ragged]  He looks different 🤣

Is this real or is he losing it?  Or is this part of what they’re doing?  [Do you really think I'm gonna tell you that?  :)]  Rude

Ah, I see

Ew, creepy smile

[I like her pants]

Ma’am.  That.  Doesn’t seem… Sanitary.  

WAIT!  Is this the gif?!  [Yes.]  ISSS THE GIF!  [*sigh* you’ve found another mouse, I see]

This is sweet  [This is true!  The cane thing was kinda cute too]  I KNOWWW 😭😭

[Bruh, the first thing he's gonna have to do with the feeling in his feet is clean the grit from between his toes laksdjf]  🤣🤣🤣 so true

☠️☠️☠️☠️

Again. KENDRA WHYYY

[They both pulling the 80s romcom obsess-over-the-outfit montage]  I’m loving this

☠️☠️☠️ the what is what sir

[Oop- leg shaving?!?!?!  Damn]  🤣🤣🤣  [Things are serious]

ACK I KNEW THAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN

["Friendship" Bruh, Logan, you lie]  ☠️☠️☠️

Zach ded

WOT?  THE TOMBSTONES!  THE DISrespect

See this is why I don’t like you Lintlicker

Nope! Ack!

Oh.  That-  [Digging himself out of the grave went better for him than it did for Dean ngl]  That was easier… yeah

Is the dr helping or is this a set up  [Nah, I think he was helping?]  Okay good  [I think we saw him hold Zach's hand earlier]  Awwww  [I don’t know for sure though]

You know what this means… Dr gonna die

Friends don’t need candles Logan  [:)))]

Aww  

“So.” Awkwarddddd  🙂

When are we doing another NCIS!?!  I need someTony now lollll  [asdlkfjasldkfj we can do it soonnnn]

Poor Logan  [Getting stood up for incest vibes]  Logan: Zach?!? 💕💕

[Y'all, I'm not liking this parallelinggggg]  

Oh hello (annoying) Max. I was wondering when you'd show up

Bet Max is thinking “well shit… maybe Logan was right”

[Okay, sorry, but... Acting = 3/10, film staging = 1/10, overall judgement = bad]  “Oooooowuwuwuuuwuu”  That’s the noises that face makes.  Like… Suck it up ☠️☠️☠️  [And did I mention the incest vibes suck]  Yea.  They do

Yes, let’s get in this cave and scream.  Genius

["It's different with you" Ummmm See?!?!?!]  Um  ["How could I forget-" oh god]  Huh.  [“-one single thing about you”]  Ewwwww

– – –

Jezebel: *sigh* Aight, let’s see… We got another not much has happened yet episode.  Except I met PsyOp, or however it’s spelled

Wench: PsyOps.  And it's a department, not a person alksjdflkdsajf  

Jezebel: You shush! I know

Wench: But yeah

Jezebel: And the whole laser in the eye is *sigh*

Wench: So recall that I've told you that Alec's been there a good three times :)

Jezebel: Poor doctor guy tho! Like he did not deserve that… just to help the guy in love with his own sister (and maybe her “not boyfriend” too… it’s complicated)

Wench: I'm still not fully certain whether doctor guy was aboveboard btw.  I can't remember, sorry.  And I wouldn't spoil if I did anyway, so hah!

Jezebel: But alas Max and Logan were being cute and I finally got to see the waterside scene irl 💕💕

Wench: I swear, we're gonna find out later that you've actually watched this entire show through gif form.  It's just two seasons of the Leonardo DiCaprio pointing meme

Jezebel: The “not” date was adorable, but, also, I’m sorry Logan…  if that chicken sat in the oven (while it was off) long enough to have cooked fully…. She’s spoiled.  Manticore ain’t gonna be able to get Max if she dies from Salmonella

Wench: lkasjdf

Jezebel: And then its all thwarted by pre-Zachinator ‘cause he nneeeeedsss Max

Wench: Ugh. Like... it'd be different (maybe) if they were in different units, but, as it is. No. She and Zach are too fraternal to be anything but incestuous. It's about the vibes and theirs are. nop.

Jezebel: And, of course, anything for Zach. So I got a good heaping taste of the Max I hear so much about 

Wench: This is true!  You get proof @witchy-writer-lady and I aren't insane!

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣

Wench: Thoughts on their... *cough cough* dynamic?

Jezebel: Yes.  EW.  And that’s it!  That’s the thought. 

Wench: And that’s all for midpoint!

– – –

[Once again, btw.  WHAT IS IT WITH FICTIONAL CHARACTERS GETTING TO LOOK DISHEVELED]  🤣🤣🤣 This is fair

The flashback thing tho

[“It’s been a long time since I let my guard down long enough to sleep”  Buddy, you slept for two seconds wtf you mean]

Sooo i thought he was just a physical therapist  [I think he is?]  Oh.  He sometimes seems to be more  [alksjdf idk for sure, sorry]

Also, buddy has horrible timing

[Poor Logan, competing with his brother-in-law for romantic attentions... betcha he never expected to have to deal with that]

The cane looming in the background like the serial killer, scary music and all

Twassss a set up

[Real subtle there, undercover guy]  Yeah, lol… Like y’all know they’re senses are heightened

The doctor’s alive!  You dog!

[Y'all.  Why are you sending Ordinaries after two transgenics alsdkjf  They're begging to get their asses kicked]  🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Zach looking over at Logan like "shit, he's got his legs back; now I've got no chance!"]  Zach’s like oh hello  [Oh, shit, "no chance" with which one?!!? Askdjf] 🤣🤣 [See, normally, I’d make a joke about “Logan has two hands” but the incest is keeping me from being able to]  ☠️☠️☠️ True.  Solution: Alec’s gonna come and he’s gonna be like… Welp, I’ve run out of hands… sorry, Zach.

☠️☠️  [The bitchiness is a family trait]

Poor Logan   [I knowwww.  But at least she apologized this time]

[Oh, no, not Normal's excessive patriotism showing up already]  ☠️☠️☠️  He called him a weenie

Sir, you don’t get to call them your kids, you bastaddd.  Lintlicker!

[Um, I'm sorry, that does not qualify as hair that looks "like she hasn't cut it since we escaped" aslkdfj]  🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Very true  [I swear that looked, like.  Shoulder-length]  Maybe it grows slow

[Okay, a little past shoulder length, but still.  Not nine years or whatever]

Does she die?  [Not answeringgggg]

Lintlicker’s Angels over here

Long gaze

[I find it kinda funny that her s2 mantra is "don't lose track of your family because I did and I regretted it ever since" and yet she legit Does Not Stay With Them despite many opportunities to do so]  ☠️☠️☠️☠️

Your “kids”

[Be concerned about this committee btw.  And about who this "she" is]  Ooooof  [They're not talking about executing the order]

[Um.  "She looks just like I remembered"  BITCH WOT.  Y'ALL WERE NINE]

That. Was.  *sigh*  Really adorable  [I knowwwww]

[She's kinda clueless missing that tbh.  Thought she was a supersoldier with keen senses alkdsjf]  Right  [How tf are you missing this]  Like… Ma’am  [THE VEIN IN HIS FACE IS HIGHLY VISIBLE]  *sigh*

Oooooop let me go talk in circles  [Not the monologues aksdjf]  On the skyscraper

[“Maybe it’s something in the way I’m made or something”  IT'S NOT IN THE WAY YOU'RE MADE, MA'AM, IT'S YOU!  YOU SUCK]  🤣🤣🤣🤣

– – – 

Jezebel: The ending had less happen then the beginning.  Minus the rescue, but like… We should have met the sister way sooner.  That was so rushed.  Like oooop here’s a new sibling!  Who you shall see for .05 secs!  Then she’s off to Canada!

Wench: Accurate assessment

Jezebel: But poor Logan

Wench: You're starting to see the Big Drama btw

Jezebel: Back to candle lit transfusions

Wench: Nom: dinner-I mean, what?

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣

Wench: Also, Max looking so annoyed at him was so funny.  Like, ma'am, he is literally holding onto the counter for dear life to stay upright.  And you're bitchy about him not letting you stay for salad.

Jezebel: I KNOW!  And like after the cute little see for yourself, why would he just switch up like that???  Ma’am.  How can you be so genetically enhanced.  And so stupid.  At the same time?

Wench: And it's not even answering nature vs nurture because they "nurtured" the observant side of her but clearly that paid zero dividends lakdsjf

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Wench: Max legit just goes: yeah, no, nature and nurture have got nothing on my particular brand of sheer stupidity #girlpower

Jezebel: 🤣🤣🤣 I just don’t understand

Wench: You haven't even met Alec yet *sigh*  He puts her so far to shame.  ALSO.  To be fair!  s2 has a whole host of different transgenics and they're literally all better than Max.  Joshua is amazing, Mole is great, and BIGGS.  I love Biggs.  He's in one episode but he and Alec have chef's kiss camaraderie.  

Jezebel: Also!  For my final point of the reaction: that is not how you look at your sister.  And done!

[thetwistedrope]

Hi there! I recently read your post "Souls are like Ceramics" and there's a part where you say "so instead, you opt to find a new “lid” to replace it" as an analogy for replacing missing soul parts. I've also heard that people can also 'regrow' missing soul pieces. Can you talk a bit more about ways this can be done? Thank you <3

so i been thinking about this for a few days, went and reread that old post and tried to think if i could develop a good answer for you, but i'm afraid it's probably not going to be very good haha

in many ways, its a lot like asking how you breathe, or maybe asking a lizard how it regrows it's tail. for me and the visions that i saw of other iterations that i saw of myself, it was often something that was like... a thing i inherently knew how to do.

in some memories, there was active, conscious work being done. but in other memories, someone pops out and i'm just as surprised as the person popping out lmao

in many respects it's like pouring energy into a receptacle until there is enough to take a bigger form, other times its finding a spark and then putting the energy into that. another way i was told via metaphor, is like collecting all the pieces together, grinding them down into a fine sand, and recasting the glass (lol idk if that's even a thing, but there you go, its the closest description i have)

you can take a piece and embed it into you and let it feed of you until it grows into something that can separate (can be like having children, can be like multiplicity, can be like neither)

some entities have built structures to provide protection or... idk, facilitate regrowth. like an incubator, maybe. sometimes you steal someone, wipe them clean and then fkn. push your shard into that (lol what is ethics).

a lot of things are easier if you have even a fraction of a piece of something left to work with, even if its tiny.

ofc, the flip side is that sometimes you find all the pieces and they just don't reactivate the same way. sometimes the person who comes back out the other end is a very different person. some wounds can be poured into and not heal.

welcome to my non-answer answer

[jaxstronomy]

Professor checking in:

1. Don’t use generative AI for factual scientific information. I have had my brain break when a student told me “well X you just said is wrong, ChatGPT said X is wrong and Y is right” when X and Y were the same thing phrased different ways. Generative text is really good at making plausible looking text, it is really bad at context and meaning, which is what an actual expert reader will pick up on right away.

(apparently it works better for coding and I know I have colleagues who encourage its use in writing code, but I also know this because our mutual students felt like they weren’t getting a chance to learn WHY they were doing things in code)

2. DO use Wikipedia for factual scientific/mathematics reference. It’s a biased source but it’s written by people who are biased towards being science/math pedants so it works!

3. Office hours are the time we’re contractually obligated to be available to help you - they’re a resource! Use them! (I have recast mine as “free help sessions”)

4. Rereading is the least effective study method. Use recall practice instead - find a way to frame your material such that you have to pull out answers from memory before checking your resources. This feels bad because you will fail at it, but it’s proven to improve performance and retention of material.

5. Outlines are OP and editing is easier than writing. My process is basically “put a bunch of bullet points down, word vomit around them, then attack it with an editing pen until it makes sense”.

6. Leverage social learning. Everyone around you is also learning, and you can learn faster and better by constructing knowledge together. Study groups! Peer editing! Quizzing each other for exam review!

7. Read before and after class. Before: so you know what you’re about to be confused by so you’re prepared with context. After: to look at the text again in context with what you just learned. (This took me from B-s to As in grad school, I feel strongly about this one)

8. Don’t stop doing things that bring you joy because you “need to focus on school”. You’re a whole person and deserve to experience the world as such.

Actual good first-time college student advice:

Wear jeans/pants that “breathe” and bring a sweater, even if it’s scorching hot out, until you know which building blasts the AC to 60 degrees F and which feels like a sauna

Backpacks with thick straps are your friend!  Messenger bags are cool and all but if you’re commuting with a lot of stuff, symmetrically styled backpacks are better for your back

You are your own person and you can walk out whenever you need to or want to, so long as you’re not disrupting the class.  Meaning you can go to the bathroom without permission, take a breather if you’re anxious, answer an important phone call, etc.

If you don’t like the class on the first day, if you can- DROP THAT CLASS AND TAKE ANOTHER ONE!  It’ll only get worse from there!

If you can, take a class outside your major; it’s a good break from your expected studies.

You are in charge of your schedule.  Your adviser and guidance counselor is there to ‘advise and guide’ but if you don’t like certain classes and you can substitute for others, that’s your choice.

Consequently, if you are changing anything drastic in your plan, talk with your adviser and instructors.

Pay attention to your credit hours and grades.  Never leave this to the last week of school, you will be sorry and stressed beyond belief!

Unless it’s a lab book or otherwise specified, go to the class for a week or so before buying an expensive textbook.  Some classes, while having it on their required list, do not actually use the textbook a whole lot and you might find some of it scanned online.  Rent if you can or buy used online (schools actually don’t give discounts).  Use your best judgement on what you think you need.

Tell the people who go up to you selling or advertising things you are not interested in that you are in a rush to class and don’t have time to listen to them.  It’s less rude and they’ll leave you alone.

The smaller the class, the better it is to have some sort of acquaintanceship with a couple classmates.  They might save your ass if you are absent one day or need to study.  And talking with them makes the time go by faster without it being so insufferable.

You don’t need to join a club or sport, but internships are cool and useful!

If you can afford it, take a day off once or twice each semester if you’re too exhausted.  Just be aware of what you missed and if it was worth missing!

Your health is the most important, this goes for mental health too!!  Note: College-age/upper teens is when mental disorders like depression and anxiety are most commonly diagnosed.  Most schools have therapy services, especially during exam time.  Look into it if you need to!

Communicate with your professor if you are having trouble with something.  Anything.

Eat and stay hydrated.  Bring a water bottle and snack to class.

All-nighters will happen but never go over 36 hours without sleep.

It’s going to be hard and there will be times you might think about giving up.  This WILL happen.  You just have to make sure what you’re doing isn’t making you absolutely miserable and/or there is something rewarding and positive to look forward to at the end!

[sapphicvampyy]

Alright here’s my Star Wars wishlist. Things I want to see Star Wars do next.

First off I’m going to need them to renew the Acolyte, I want to see more I want to see if Qimir knew Plaguesis was there, how dark is Osha going to fall is she going to be able to be brought back? Is Mae going to try and save Osha once she learns what happened will both twins merge? Or will they ever both be in the light? will Osha and Qimir drive each other darker or will there care for eachother drive them into the light, I don’t think siths can truly care about someone once they become full sith that goes away and if they do that’s the one little piece keeping them in the light! So I do wonder about all those questions and I want to see more Plaguesis. Maybe similar to those knights of the old republic trailer how Osha is going through sith trials at some point like that mother and daughter trailer.

Rey’s new Jedi order film I want to see Plaugesis be the big Bad, I’d love to see Rey going all over the world and finding force sensitives, I like the idea that the people have turned against the Jedi. And maybe Plaugesis is like a voldermort type of situation like he’s sort of alive but not really and he needs to do a ritual to fully come back but then he does , and he’s a massive threat and it’s very mystical maybe we get into some of George’s ideas about the whillis) also I know some of this is a long shot like I want Rey to meet another skywalker how in the thrawn movie I want Luke and Mara to be a thing and Mara has a child with Luke but Luke doesn’t know and he thinks Mara is dead and she gets killed not before hiding the child ) so Rey meets this person and there an adult. and we break the to old to train thing.I also want to see Finn and Rey train together and Finn be a Jedi in this, but one thing that really upset me about the sequels was how much Finn and Rey liked each-other in the first one but then they put Rey with Kylo which I’m sorry they’re always going to give related to me. But I liked Rey and Finn and wanted to see more of them together.

Dawn of the Jedi ) it’s very mystical in origin, we see the first person turn evil and why I’m thinking this an epic biblical like story similar to lord of the rings the Simaraillion and we have someone just pure evil like Morgoth. and it also deals with George’s ideas about the whillis, I also hope George gives ideas on this.

The Filoni film: I’m really only excited about this if we recast the big 3!! I need them recast if your going to tell this story it’s just going to fall flat if the big 3 aren’t real breathing people, I have had enough of these cgi robot things like in mando I’m sorry but that wasn’t Luke he was so soulless there was nothing behind the eyes, I feel no emotionally investment for that character at all. I also didn’t like how Luke was portrayed either. So recast the big 3 find people who look like the big 3 and also have the energy, I do think finding people who look like them is important because they have such an iconic on screen image already to not look like them is jarring for the audience. ) so Luke, Leia and Han are a lead in this and we meet Mara Jade and her and Luke have a thing I’d love to see this story play out. And then of course these movies end tragic because Mara gets killed which is better reasoning for Luke ending up on the island and we think his child is killed as well but before she dies Mara hides the child. and Rey meets the kid. I know this is pretty unlikely but I do thinking making new movies would be easier with skywalkers and it’s a lot harder to get people to care without them and that was a huge mistake of the sequel trilogy. Among many. Without the big 3 this movie falls flat for me and makes me wonder what the hell are Luke and Han and Leia up too and I can’t help but think the EU had better storytelling there but bringing them back is a way to redeem it and it also leads better to Luke’s characterization in the The last Jedi which I didn’t think was written well. ( yeah I didn’t like the last Jedi but that’s a story for another time )

A Plaguesis and Palpatine hbo quality tv show adaption of the book, where we see how terrible they both are, and we do not get give Palps a sad back story or maybe we get a little bit of one but at every chance to do good he chooses the evil thing but I think all he ever cared about is power. and this shit is dark there’s no good guys at all.

Beyond that: I think each of these movies should not be one offs, but instead take however long they need to take they don’t have to be a trilogy but can develop more.

That’s years of Star Wars films on the big screen, Rey , dawn of the Jedi , and big 3 come back.

I think the key is telling stories in the future and in the past I think Star Wars desperately needs to move forward and not just have filled stories about side characters. Stuck in the same era. The key to Star Wars staying alive and fresh is taking risks like the Acolyte going into the future and the past and the moving forward. And If we do have a tv show it’s very main character focused and can influence the whole story that’s personally what I’d like to see. Maybe we introduce a new main character then they could get a show?

Or an old republic tv show similar to the games? but hbo level of quality. and yeah also after we do the Rey films with Plaguesis maybe Rey has kids or doesn’t and we go into the future or we do another Rey trilogy with the Yuzon Vong , and then Abletoth perhaps what little I know of Abletoth I feel like these would be good villains to do next after Plaugesis. Which is what Snoke should have been) sigh. But we can still do it now!!

[sinsofthefather-kulemi]

Casting! My Thought Process (and the horrors!)

For the most part, everyone's voice was pretty much already set before casting came up. I mostly knew who I wanted for the boys. I knew the tone and register I was going for for the girls. However, once it came time to pull the trigger, things became... complicated.

Arika (CV: Yoko Hikasa)

When I casted Arika, I was so thrilled to find out that the seiyuu that I chose also voiced one of my favorite characters from one of my favorite shows. I was actually already sold on the actress because of an anime called Summertime Rendering (I've never seen it- just clips). Her voice there sounds very much like what I have in mind for end of book one, headed toward book three and beyond Arika. Rich still but, with a sort of apathetic flatness that she's unfortunately resulted to speaking with over time. However, Yoko Hikasa's voice when playing Utahime in Jujutsu Kaisen was always very pleasant to me. It's not pinpoint, exactly what I had in mind, as she speaks with an airiness that Arika (in my mind) does not use but the register is still pretty spot on.

I like writing deep voiced women. I like deep voiced women. I am a person with a deep voice myself. But, it was not easy casting this character (and her mother whom she inherits her deep voice from) because so much of the Japanese media that I've seen personally tends to cast higher pitched voiced actresses. So, I didn't have references to go off of like I did for the boys and when I did, the voices were too deep- to the point of not fitting her at all. I think I'm pretty satisfied with this choice now though. I believe I made the right decision.

Hiroshi (CV: Kazuhiko Inoue)

I originally wanted someone like Tsudaken (Kenjiro Tsuda, funny- I have a Ken already) but I thought that Tsudaken might've been a bit too... sexy for Hiro. I imagine Hiro's voice is fairly attractive but Tsudaken's voice kinda oozes a sex appeal that Hiro does not deserve kjsahds. I don't know how many other people think of voices in the same way that I do but I think voices are just as important as the character's physical design. I don't want Hiro to come off as sexy just by opening his mouth... If you know Tsudaken, he gives that- no matter how ridiculous he is. I know what Hiro is like, and I matched that with that voice and I worried I had a monster on my hands! Soooo, I recast.

I went with Kazuhiko Inoue because, sure, his voice is reasonably attractive. It's deep, smooth and you can somewhat hear that he's a mature man when he speaks. But he sounds harmless! Until he's not- I wanted him to have the voice of a man you'd never expect to be.. Like That. Do you know what I mean? Now, am I concerned over the fact that Mr. Inoue played That Character? You bet your sweet ass I am- but I'm trying to avoid eye contact with the camera~!

Edna (CV: Sayaka Kinoshita)

Just as I mentioned with Arika, I knew that I wanted her to have a rich, deep voice. Sultry to a degree. She's described as having one of those voices that can be maternal to one ear but downright sensual to another. It's not with intention- That's just how it is. So, I had my work cut out for me because again, I didn't have a roster of names to choose from based on experience. Voices like that weren't typically main characters in the things that I watched, if anything, they were one-offs and I feel like a fool now for not making note of them! This has taught me a valuable lesson though and moving forward, I absolutely will. It will become easier as I expand the types of stuff I watch as well, I hope.

This beautiful, sweet, sweet lady gave me quite possibly the most hell out of my entire cast of characters! The seiyuu I'd originally casted her as was Romi Park. Sound familiar? It should- Think hard. I'll give you a hint, Yakuza 5. And since Edna is who she is to Majima I decided that that was just a little too close for comfort. So, I went back to the drawing board. Then, I found another voice: Atsuko Tanaka. Overwhelmingly sensual, mature but natural- you wouldn't even notice that you'd been swept off your feet until you were in the air. Then, I realized that sentiment felt quite familiar but I paid it no mind. Until, I'd gone to collect voice clips and got triggered by the word "tanjōbi"... Tanjōbi...Wikipedia...Kiwami--Reina.... I love you Edna but why must we do this?

Eventually, I found Sayaka Kinoshita by some random stroke of luck. Her resume was quite short- Perfect, no more YKZ jumpscares.

Kenjiro (CV: Hosoya Yoshimasa)

With Kenny-san, I had a mini roster of potential CVs. When I first went into his design, he wasn't meant to be handsome. He was really supposed to be your average, everyday Taro to be quite honest. Plain-faced, swagless little weasel of a Yes Man. And then... he ceased to be that. He just blossomed into what we know him as today and when I heard his lines, his voice changed from something desperate for Hiro's approval and starving to be seen to something confident, relaxed and almost arrogant- but falsely so. His physical design changed very soon after too. By the end I had an, 'Oh nooo, he's hot!' moment and that's when the voices started coming to me.

Junichi Suwabe was once at the tippity top of that list- I'd be lying if I said that that wasn't personal bias. But again, there was another issue of; is this voice Too Attractive? Distractingly so? I landed on: Yes. I was torn between Hosoya Yoshimasa and Shunsuke Takeuchi- in truth, when Shunsuke isn't using that loud, gravely voice, I think they sound eerily similar, which is perhaps why I was having such a difficult time choosing between them. In the end, I have no history with Shunsuke Takeuchi and a deep attachment to Hosoyan. So, I went with him. I hope I can live with that decision...