#i do fall into the i'll just research a little more because i can't write until i've researched trap

[borealing]

a question for writers to answer in the tags. what is your favourite thing to do to procrastinate writing?

[wixenburr]

Saw some ppl talking about Reverse Robins and i had thoughts

Talking abt u guys @eldritchdreamss @brucewaynehater101

Why kill Tim when you could kill baby Jason? What I want is for all of them to keep their own backstories and personalities (Developed in line with the story of course) So ofc i had to write a 1,000 word brainrot abt it.

(Also i'll only be going over the main 4 batbros for now i will add more later but these guys are the ones im most passionate about so here we go)

Damian

Let Damian come in, desperate to be of use and be worthy of his father, only for a softer, less jaded bruce (since jason hasnt died yet) to help him open up his heart and let him act as a kid. With no competition for so long, I imagine he and Bruce get along very well while he works with him. Yeah, they need to work on the no killing deal and Damian's... i guess impulse control? But i think it would be easier with very intensely focused reparenting; no distractions of other kids you know? No favoring or anything.

I see Damian growing up as a stoic, jaded adult. He's had a rough life. Maybe he sticks with the vigilante business. but I really love headcanons where he gets out of it, and focuses on something calmer, like his art. (I do appreciate and love the veterinarian Damian AUs, but im going for FULL calmness, you know? And doctor/vet work is Not calm lol)

So yeah, maybe he grows a real passion for heroism, maybe he doesn't? Maybe he goes on to be an artist and that's just what he does. Bro is ready to settle down as a scarred, veteran trophy husband and i adore him for that.

(Sorry lol i just love Damian and i love the idea of him growing out of both of his parent's legacies. Let him live his own life!!! He fights so so hard for at least 15 years. ALL 15 years of his life. He deserves to have some peace.)

Tim

Tim i think would need a much different story to join the Batfam. He still starts out as a stalker who follows batman and. . . . . . . Redimar (meaning Redemption iykyk (I just spend 17min researching names rip)) at night, takes photos, etc... Since Damian doesn't die, maybe he finds Tim? and like, tim is like 11 and Damian is 17 or 18. He's started going out as Redimar less and less, not that B really minds? In fact hes probably happy for his son so...

But then Damian finds Tim, and now he has to keep going out because he can't let this kid get himself killed like this. He would hold himself accountable since hes the only reason Tim keeps going out so much- also i imagine Tim follows Redimar more than Batman.

Cue a classic Tim Joining The Batfam plotline. They get to know each other better, get a grasp on Tim's situation, Damian finally introduces Tim to Bruce... (Probably something like Dami: "Father, this is my new brother. Timothy, say hello to Father," Tim: "Hello, Father," Dami: "Perfect." Bruce: "*falls off the batchair*)

Anyway, so, Tim ends up kinda just merging with the Waynes. They start training him, its all good and nice, and Tim makes his own little hero team unlike Damian, which is actually pretty interesting here; its Tim who made the first young hero team. Damian only ever had Jon (Superboy 1 in this!!) and he finds Young Just Us and becomes a great leader and its all fine and dandy.

Tim and Damian get along well. Damian is the sage older brother whos kinda distant, but only because he has such high emotional walls (but secretly a softy). He is very much like Bruce- nope, nevermind, hes definitely worse than Bruce in this AU, since Bruce is depicted as being much more agreeable before Jason's death, you know? So yeah, Damian is the emotionally constipated bitch in the fam and we love him for that. But hey!! Tim does manage to get through his walls! And Bruce does sometimes too!! (Tho i imagine Bruce and Damian's relationship to be very.. idk let me try to expalain. Dami: "Father." Bruce: "Son :)" Dami: "Tt." Bruce: *nods* "Hrn." Dami: "Hmph." Bruce: "Hm.") DO U PICK UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN--- lmfao. They hardly need words.

Tim ends up growing up very very capable. Once his parents die, he gets a little jaded, but hes still Tim. He and Damian become kind of an... ice prince duo? If you get what I mean. But Tim is the one whos actually the ice prince, Damian is secretly a HUGE softie. He is Delicate and Tim protects him lmfao.

Jason

Jason comes along like he does in canon. Has the same backstory. Tries to steal the Batmobile's wheels. Tim is sleeping over at Damian's flat for the night, so its just Bruce. They bond. Shit happens. Jason joins the fam.

I don't imagine them not getting along, but they don't immediately hit it off either. Jason is wary of all of them for a time, but he ends up warming up to Damian pretty fast after realizing what a softie he is. He pokes fun at Damian and Damian just freaking takes it lmao. Hes an adult he cannot be disturbed. Bro has seen too much and he finds Jason adorable. (Dami: "You were never this cute, Timothy." <- he is lying. Tim: *offended* "What the fu- flip!?" Jason: "Lmao Tim just say fuck." Dami: *deadpan stare* Tim: "JASON NO DONT SAY THE FUCK WORD-") ahem.

anywho and then Jason dies rip skill issue ratio.

The whole batfam is heartbroken. Genuinely shattered. Jason was a light in their lives. Not that they were WITHOUT any light, but Jason was the epitome of a sunshine child.

It's been too long since Damian has killed someone. Bro's god oodles and oodles of trauma. He can't bring himself to kill the Joker.

but Tim can.

It's a whole dramatic thing; Damian feels awful that he made his- now only- little brother kill. Bruce is hella upset but feels responsible for not seeing how badly both of his kids were handling the death of their brother. Tim goes a little off the deep end.

Things turn out.... okay. sort of. but not really. Tim changes his hero name to Red Cardinal. He feels pretty lost. Maybe he stumbles into Ra's al Ghul or smthn idk maybe smthn happens there perhaps. Maybe Damian has to put on Redimar again and rescue him? But its less of a rescue and more of a "Stop joining the dark side Tim jesus christ-" (and it does work).

They go home. Tim gets a boyfriend or two. Damian falls into his art. Bruce is throwing himself into work. They're all kind of a mess, but they keep moving.

and then

Dick

(lmao that sounded wrong)

ahem; and then the circus comes to town. The batfam- well, Tim, Damian, and Bruce- all decide to get together to do something fun. Take the opportunities given, yk? So they go to the circus together.

Wham bam rip the falling Flying Graysons.

They see Dick, breaking apart, and they know they have to do something. Bruce is the first to move. Then Tim. Damian is the last.

It's pretty quick getting Dick home, since Bruce is already a foster parent cuz of Tim yk. So Dick doesn't have to suffer in Juvie at all really. But that doesn't change the fact that he is ANGRY.

Dick is SO angry. he wants to kill the person who murdered his parents. He knows what he saw.

The fam of course do their best to investigate. Mostly Tim, who feels unworthy of being around an innocent little kid after his whole.... villain era, i suppose lol. (ofc Dick thinks Tim doesnt like him lol misunderstanding arc GO)

The whole "Dick accepts that justice is better than murder kinda maybe FOR NOW" storyline happens, and Dick becomes the conniving, bright, little Robin we all know and love. (Thinking of the Young Justice Cartoon Robin (but not the characters- just Dick's character) aaaand

Womp womp GUESS WHOS BACK

Jason's Back

but i'll leave that for later.

[quintessenceofdust88]

❤️❤️❤️ Make myself write Monday ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you sm for the tag @typicalopposite !! I'll post a little snippet of Buck finding out he's pregnant in the Little Blobs' verse cause it's my current obsession:

--

"What's got you pouting so early in the morning, Buckaroo?" Hen's voice as she places a steaming coffee mug in front of him gets Buck out of his misery-filled thoughts, and though he appreciates the gesture, he doesn't drink it. He's still feeling nauseous. Or guilty. Or both.

You see, there was a reason why everybody called Buck a human golden retriever. It was usually so rare for him to be in a mood, but lately... Lately he had been one walking short fuse, like that morning.

He and Tommy had gotten married about a month before, and been together for eighteen months (and yes, they were still counting from their first kiss, basically ignoring the month they had stayed broken up). Still, it was a rare occurrence for their shifts to align so perfectly that they could get ready for work together in the morning, and usually those moments would make Buck giddy with the domesticity of it all. Not that day, apparently.

Buck wasn't sure what had gotten him in such a pissy mood. Maybe it was the fact he had woken up tired even though he had slept like a rock all night, and that had been happening annoyingly often as of late. Maybe it was the fact he had barely managed to swallow a granola bar for breakfast, and even that hadn't sat well on his stomach because he was too nauseous (again, an annoyingly often occurence lately). Maybe it was the fact that, despite all of that, Tommy was clearly in a good mood, which was making Buck's mood even worse (and yes, he realized that was probably very selfish and childish of him).

And for no reason at all, he simply snapped at Tommy for the leftover fruit he had left in the blender (which, sure, could be a little annoying, but not *that* annoying). Buck knew right away that his "Damn, Tommy, how hard is it to keep things clean?! It's like living in a frat house again!" had been uncalled for. Tommy had looked at him in surprise, muttered a "Sorry, Evan" and turned his back to Buck, apparently laser-focused on washing the blender. Buck knew right then that he should apologize, but he was still too pissy to do it, and their goodbyes had been frosty when they left for their respective stations.

And that's where Hen had caught him, staring at the void and wondering if he should text Tommy and let him know how sorry he was or wait to do it in person once their 48-hour shifts were over.

Before Buck knew it, he had spilled out all of that to Hen, kind of expecting her to call him out for being an idiot to his husband, but instead, Hen hummed thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I can't help but notice you *have* been moody lately, Buck. Far too moody for a newlywed, if you ask me" She teased lightly, and Buck gave her a half-hearted smile.

"Well, to be honest I have nothing to complain in that department. Tommy's been just as awesome now that we're married as he was before. I think even more, because he's not even complaining about my bitchiness and the fact I have slept on top of him every single time we've sat to watch a movie together for the last three weeks"

"Wait, you?!" Hen asked, her eyebrows going up. "Evan 'ball of energy' Buckley..."

"Buckley-Kinard" He corrected eagerly, his smile widening despite himself at that.

"My bad" Hen chuckled. "Evan 'ball of energy' Buckley-Kinard, falling asleep during movie nights? Don't you usually drive him crazy by researching fun facts about the movie?"

"Yeah!" Buck agreed, nodding enthusiastically. "But lately, I don't know, I... I thought maybe I was tired from wedding planning, but..."

"Morning, you two!" Bobby's voice interrupted Buck, and the two of them turned to greet their captain.

tbc

np tagging @bidisasterevankinard @peppermintquartz and whoever else wants to join in!! ❤️

[luciaintheskyainthi]

Hii, i admire you a lot, every chapter of ECM encourages me a lot, i hope yo are well and im sorry for the bad english in my cuestion😭

Your best writing tips? Everything is valid, whether writing in general o writing fanfics, whatever you think for sure is good, thanks for writing 🙏💗😔

thank-you so much!! I'm glad my writing can do that for you!!

Oh man, I have soooo many things to say, but I'll give you some simplified ones to start with! Buckle up buttercup, this is a long'un!

General Writing Tips:

I know it sounds dumb! But just write. Write a little, write a lot, just try not to get bogged down with it being 'good' or 'bad' or anywhere in between. I'm a firm believer in writing being like a muscle: the more you do it, the easier (and the better) it becomes. And also, crucially, this shouldn't be a time where you do things like... a) hunting for the perfect word b) doing research c) cross reference with a past chapter This is a writing only time! Make yourself place holders (I write XK for words I can't think of, as it's 2 letter that will never appear together so I can CTRL+F it easily! I make comments in the draft specifying what to check or research. I highlight parts I know need LOTS of work) so you can quickly move past what's blocking you and continue writing.

Find a writing habit and environment that works for you. Typing? Hand-writing? Coloured pages? White pages? Dictating? Working in a public place? A private space? (When I start out a story, I often handwrite. And I'll turn back to it if I'm stuck, too. I also write a lot in public, as I find the pressure of other people around me stops me wasting time on my phone... or Tumblr lol).

Get yourself a writing friend! I have a friend I see almost weekly and it's my most productive time of the week (For example, today I wrote 5600 words! Crazy!). Online works too (if you use the pomodoro, you can compare word counts, make a competition of it). If you're doing it IRL, DO NOT expect to get anything done the first time. Or the second time.... but the more you do it, the easier it is for you both to fall straight into writing. (This is the exact same advice I giving to my students about 'study dates' 😉 )

If you find it hard to 'break the seal', then try a warm up. Set yourself a 5-10 minute timer and write based on an activity. E.g. tell a story from the POV of an object in your room! Write a detailed description of your foot! Write a 5 sentence story! Find a picture and write a scene inspired by it! Or get yourself a prompt list and use that. These are all things I would do for students back when I ran a creative writing club at school.

Use the pomodoro system when writing (it's great for studying too!). That's 20 minutes of nothing but writing - no searching up stuff! No looking at your phone! Just writing. Then take a 5 minute break. Then another 20 minutes of writing. Rinse and Repeat! You'd be amazed at how much you can get done!

THIS ONE IS SO IMPORTANT: 👏 The first thing you write is the worst thing you write! That's not just okay! It's expected!! 👏 This is something I tell ALL my students and equally myself. The editing process is SO crucial and honestly, the best thing you can do to improve is - and you'll hate me for saying this! - rewrite your entire first draft. This is why I say, 'don't worry about the first thing you've written'. Because it won't be the end product. (This is why I so often hand-write. Because typing it up then becomes the rewrite.) The re-write is when you should be thinking carefully about your phrasing, and when you can go and do that research. (I will note, I actually don't do this much anymore, but I've also been writing obsessively for 19 years... so do with that what you will (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

Read your work out loud. What reads fine in your head might come out as nonsense out loud. This is especially true for dialogue! The better it flows out your fabulous mouth, the better it reads. I've done this so much I've mostly internalised it, but I always always do my final edit as a read through out loud. All 140+K of ECM has come out my gob at least once.

Actual writing tips:

When it comes to sentence structure and phrasing, one of the best things I ever did for myself was read the book Sin and Syntax by Constance Hale. I don't expect every writer to do so, but I do think it's worth reading (I'd like to specify, I generally HATE reading non-fiction but I found it a valuable read).

Here are a few things to keep in mind when actually writing:

Bad repetition: it's a classic, but overuse of certain words sticks out like a sore thumb. Even now I'll do it and won't notice until the final read through (out loud! See my previous tip haha). That is NOT to say that you should just right click 'synonyms'! It's better to edit the sentence itself, think about whether that word is even necessary before choosing to select another word).

Nuance in language is soooo important. This is why I generally discourage just the right-click 'synonym' option. Certainly in the nonsensical English language, there are subtleties in word choice that are critical to preventing your work for turning into nonsense (something I wish my students would understand!). Think of the different meanings conveyed through choices like house / bungalow / condo / flat / apartment / mansion / Mcmansion. All have differing connotations and can't be used interchangeably. Same with floor vs ground. Make sure you understand the connotations (associated meanings) of the word you're choosing before you use it.

Following on from this, Choose specific nouns and dynamic verbs, rather than relying on your adjectives/adverbs to do all the work. Not ' one storey house': bungalow. Not 'walk tiredly': stumble / trudge. Of course, you don't have to do this all the time and I'm not saying adverbs/adjectives are evil! But I think a lot of writers become overly reliant upon them.

Avoid redundant language. Consider the words that are doing the heavy lifting in your sentences. Is there anything in the sentence that doesn't need to be there because you've already implied it? e.g. Sara trudged tiredly into her bedroom and fell onto her bed. In this example, 'trudged' already implies exhaustion. And one would assume her bed is in her bedroom. Likewise 'fall' isn't the most exciting of verbs. So I'd change it to something like this -> Sara trudged through the doorway to collapse onto her bed. (Note here I'm also thinking of the implied meaning of 'onto' rather than 'into', which would suggest her bed is still made up).

Keep in mind who your narrator is and adjust your writing accordingly. Consider their personality, their background and the influence of their culture on the ways in which they'd think / write things. For example, as Peter is a character prone to ramble, I'll sometimes have him do the same in his narration. And because he's a silly little guy, I'll also have his train of thoughts turn in silly ways. His science background means I'll occasionally throw in a science reference too (though it's not my strongest knowledge base these days! So it requires more research lol). In contrast, Jason's love of literature make him more likely to use 'fancy' words like 'eschew', literary references and more elaborate metaphors. But at the same time, his Crime Alley upbringing means I have him use a lot of contractions. And because I see him as a character who is both a dramatic bastard and a highly efficient guy, I will use a lot of one word, or very short sentences. (If you're using multiple narrators, it might pay to write these ideas down!)

Anyways, I could go on, but it's also 20 to 11PM here and I've already written 5600 words today 🥲 My phalanges are tired!

I at least hope you can find something helpful or encouraging from all of this!

[winchesterdreamgirl88]

The Other Brother

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader also Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: Cussing, angst, fluff, BAD WRITING

Summary: You and Dean used to have a small thing together, but you guys drifted apart and Dean left for a little while. After he left you and Sam became very close and eventually it turned into more. You were finally happy and content in life. But what happens when Dean shows up again after a year?

Word Count:2235

A/n: I want to do multiple different versions of this story eventually so keep an eye out for those:) Also I've had serious writers block so I'm sorry if this isn't the greatest. I'm going to try and get better at updating more consistently.

1 Year ago

"Fuck, I can't do this anymore Dean. Sometimes you act like I'm the best thing that's happened to you but recently you've been treating me like some random girl you picked up in a bar."

Things have been rocky with you and Dean for a while now. You got badly injured on a hunt fighting vampires and because Dean was so focused on trying to make sure you were okay 3 of the vampires got away, ever since then you guys have been non stop arguing.

"Oh please, Y/n, obviously you're important to me, why are you acting so crazy?" You and Dean had been together for about 6 months and things were going so well in the beginning. He was so protective, would defend you against anyone who even looked at you the wrong way, but recently you guys have been fighting a lot and it seems like he's done with you.

"Me?? I'm not acting crazy. You used to love me and protect me but now you never come home, we fight all time, hell you barely even kiss me anymore." You said tears started to form in your eyes because he couldn't tell how much he was hurting you.

"You know what I don't need this." Suddenly he turned around and started to walk towards the door. He walked out the door, walked out of your life, and never came back.

Present

It had been a year since Dean had walked out on you, and Sam. You and Sam had gotten really close over the past year. Sam and you began hunting together, you would take over on the research most of the time and Sam was more on the killing side. You two were close before Dean had left but once he was gone something shifted. One night about three months after Dean left you and Sam were doing research together in a library in Nebraska trying to hunt a Wendigo.

Sam had always had feelings for you but stepped aside once he realized you and Dean had. But on that night seeing you in the library with your face buried in a book with your glasses on and hair falling into your face he couldn't help himself. He leaned in closer and tucked your hair behind your ear causing you to look up at him and smile.

"Y/n there's something I've wanted to say to you for awhile now. I've liked you since the day me and Dean met you. You have the kindest heart, the most beautiful smile, your eyes can make me melt by just looking at them. I love you Y/n." Sam said with a sigh of relief that he finally said it.

"I love you too Sam." You said and leaned up to kiss him.

Time Skip 9 Months

You and Sam had been together for 6 months now and you've never felt happier. He was the best boyfriend you could ask for. He was loving, caring, attentive and the two of you rarely ever fought. One night you guys were cuddling on the couch watching tv in the bunker when suddenly someone bursts through the door. Sam and you both got nervous because neither of you was expecting anybody and nobody else you knew had a key. Well except for one person, but it couldn't be him right?

"Stay here, don't move, I'll be back." Sam said as he got up to investigate what was happening. After silence for a while you suddenly heard yelling between Sam and a voice you hadn't heard in a year.

"WHAT THE HELL DEAN! You can't just show up here after a year and expect things to be the same. You really hurt her, she was devastated when you left. You don't just get to come back and think everything's going to be okay. She's mine now! We've both moved on from you. I think you need to leave." Sam finally finished yelling at Dean, neither brother had noticed you standing there.

"Oh please Sam. I had to leave, I had to do what's best for everybody."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know where I've been the last damn year Sam? I've been hunting those assholes that hurt Y/n. I've been tracking them down and I finally found them in Ohio and killed every last one of them. They hurt her and I wasn't going to let them get away with it. I also had to leave because I needed time away from you." You were so confused by what you just heard you didn't know what to do. What did he just say? He left because he wanted to keep me safe? A million thoughts started running through your head.

"Me? What the hell did I do Dean?"

"YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH HER! You think I didn't notice, the whole time we were together I could see you always watching her. Always longing for her, always wishing that she was yours. I'm not an idiot. But you are my brother and she is the woman I love, I wasn't going to stand in way of you two being happy. Don't you dare think that there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you."

"It looks like I was right, you two are together now and happy and made a better life for yourselves. I'll leave the both of you alone and figure out something else."

When the yelling finally stopped and both brothers finally calmed down they finally noticed your presence in the room. You looked like you had seen a ghost. You ran upstairs past yours and Sam's now shared bedroom and ran into the bathroom and started crying. You were so confused and overwhelmed. When you finally felt strong enough you walked downstairs to see both men just sitting in the living room staring at each other. When they noticed you Sam stood up and ran over to you and gave you a hug.

You accepted his hug but something felt wrong now that Dean was here, you couldn't help but look over at him and see sadness and regret in his eyes. "Sam, could you maybe leave us alone for a minute?" You asked hoping that you could just have some one on one time with Dean to figure things out.

"Yeah of course." Sam said with a sigh, pressed a kiss to your temple and went upstairs to his room. Even though you were nervous and hurt you went and sat down next to Dean on the couch and coughed nervously. He grabbed your hand surprised that you didn't pull away and took a deep breath before beginning to talk.

"I'm sorry Y/n, I just got so angry at the fact that I let those vampires hurt you I couldn't stand the thought of them being alive. I had to leave to make sure that they paid. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I just wanted you safe, then once I realized that Sam had feelings for you it made me go crazy and scared. I know he's a better man than me. He can treat you better than I can. he's better for you. When I realized this I decided to leave so the both of you could be happy and finally start a normal life together. I'm so sorry I hurt you Y/n but I guess it's what I'm best at. You and Sam deserve to be happy. I'll be gone in the morning." And with that he dropped your hand, got up and went to the garage.

You sat there stunned and shocked. Everything you thought was wrong. The fact that Dean spent this past year trying to find the vampires that hurt you and kill them, the fact that he wanted you and Sam to be happy even if he wasn't, you weren't sure what to do. Sam suddenly comes down the stairs after hearing Dean leave.

He comes and sits next to you before taking your hand in his. "Look Y/n, Dean coming back here doesn't change anything. I still love you and I still want to be with you. All he's gonna do is cause you pain and suffering and I don't want to see that happen. But I can't tell you what to do, so it's your decision. If you decide to go back to Dean I'll understand. I won't make it awkward, or be mad. We can go back to how it was before no guilt, I promise." With that Sam left you alone with your thoughts.

As if a miracle happened suddenly you knew exactly what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be with. You got up off the couch and started walking.

If you choose Sam

You went into the garage to find Dean working on baby. He hears you come in and stops whatever he's doing to look at you.

"Look, I forgive you. I understand what you did and I will always be grateful for it. But things are different now Dean, I'm in love with Sam. He's the one that makes me happy. But I want you to stay, stay and hunt with us and it'll be like before." You said avoiding eye contact.

"Okay." He said with no hesitation. "I'll stay and we'll try to make this work. You guys deserve each other and I can see how happy you guys are. I'm glad you two found each other. Now go tell Sam before he decides to freak out on both of us." He says now talking with a small hint of a smile. You give him a really quick hug and then run upstairs to go find Sam. You start walking towards your guy's shared room and take a deep breath before walking in. Sam is just lying on the bed but immediately sits up when you walk in.

Suddenly you run over to him and give him a big hug and you feel him relax under your touch. "It's you Sam, you're the one that I want." You said with a big smile on your face. He returns your smile and leans down and gives you a quick kiss.

"I love you so much Y/n, it's always been you."

After a crazy day you both lay down in bed and fall fast asleep. You felt good knowing everything would be okay. You had both boys back in your life and you couldn't be happier.

If you choose Dean

You went upstairs to find Sam, even though you guys shared a bedroom suddenly you felt like you couldn't just walk in so you knocked on the door. "Come in" said a voice that sounded tired and exhausted.

"Hey, can we talk." You said entering the room and then shutting the door. "Yeah of course, come sit down." Sam said making room on the bed for you. This was going to be so hard, you didn't want to hurt Sam. He was one of most kind hearted people you knew, but your heart knew what it wanted. You took a deep breath before talking.

"Sam, these past few months have been great. You've been the best thing in my life, you've made me smile and laugh so much I can't even begin to describe it. But my heart belongs to Dean. I know it's risky and he might hurt me but it's what I want. I don't want you to be angry. Honestly I just wish everything could go back to the way it was before."

"Then it will." He said which made you slightly confused. "All I've wanted is for you to be happy Y/n. So if Dean makes you happy then you need to be with him. Don't worry about me, the three of us will go back to how it was before. Now go find Dean before he leaves." He said and gave you a hug. You got up and started walking towards the door. "Just know if he hurts you again I'm going to kick his ass." Sam said with a smile on his face. "Good to know." You said returning the smile and then running down the stairs into the garage to find Dean.

He had headphones in so he didn't hear you come in. You walked up behind him and placed your hand on his shoulder causing him to jump. He took his headphones out and turned to face you.

"Look, I understand why you did what you did, and I'm so grateful for it. I still want to be with you, my heart still belongs to you, I still love you. But from now on you have to communicate better. If something is bothering you tell me and we'll figure it out together. No more secrets okay."

After a little bit of silence you see Deans face form a big smile and then suddenly he picks you up and spins you around. This causes a big smile to appear on your face, a smile you haven't had in over a year. He decided to take you on a short drive to look up at the stars and talk about everything that happened since he had been away. You looked up at the stars knowing your heart was happy.

[socstudies]

Hi, as someone who is going to be in their first year of college this fall, I'm curious about the note taking part

Is physical or digital note taking easier?

Is spending money on a laptop nessesary?

What is something you wish you would've done differently during your first year?

Do you have any advice?

If by any chance you see this, your blog and your aesthetic are amazing!

I'm wishing you a wonderful day/night.

If you do decide to reply, thank you in advance <3

helloo! sorry for the late reply & thank u for the ask! :)

ive tried both and i think i prefer handwritten notes, however they both have their pros and cons:

handwritten pros

proven to be better for retaining information

can't get distracted by other tabs

lighter to carry

costs less than a laptop

i've had some classes where we weren't allowed to use laptops so it's good to already be used to taking notes this way

cons:

much slower. sometimes i find im missing stuff and i have to go back to it at the end

have to print out diagrams etc if u want to include them

could possibly lose them, spill something etc

not enough space on desk for both laptop and notebook so u can't get slides up or google something

digital pros:

much quicker

easier to organise & pull up different notes at any time - u don't need to carry around or find older notebooks to be able to study or refer back to past classes

some people make notes directly onto the slides which u would have to print out if u wanted to do by hand

can also use for research and writing essays which u will need a computer for at some point so might as well do everything in one place

cons:

expensive

more stressful if u lose or break it

if u forget to charge it and u don't have paper .......

this upcoming year, im using a combination. most of the time i'll handwrite my notes, but for classes where they talk too quickly i'll type them (it's not worth the stress & extra time having to go back to recordings after). my notes for readings will be annotated straight onto the pdf. i'll be taking pictures of notes to put them all together.

---

unfortunately, i think it is because you'll need computer access to research and write ur essays, as well as to find course information etc. HOWEVER some universities (most?) have laptops that u can borrow and computers in the library, so if u know that you'll be motivated enough to get up and do all of ur work on campus, you could save this cost - bare in mind when u move off campus after first year it might be even harder. definitely look into this if cost is an issue for you! it doesn't need to be a fancy one if u do buy a laptop though, just remember u'll be carrying it around so don't get a super heavy one!

---

as for something i wish i'd done differently: as a sociology student, none of my classes have exams where i have to memorise things, instead it's all essay based. this led me to not 'study' i guess ??? like the stuff that i wrote my essays on, i knew like the back of my hand, but everything else i couldn't remember well. so if ur taking an essay based subject, remember that u still need to study a little & remember these things !! i was so overwhelmed tbh that i forgot about this oopsie!

---

extra advice:

when people say that after u skip one class, u'll skip the rest THEY. MEAN. IT. literally try so hard not to miss class bc you will never go again if u do. my classes would start off with not enough seats for everybody and end up with just a handful of us by the end of term.....

make time for urself !! it can become all consuming, especially if u live on campus, but pls make some dedicated time away from studying !!

u will find ur friends eventually. pls remember that it won't last or be that fun if u stick with friends who u don't have that much in common with just bc they were the first u met. tell me why i was going to bars and clubs with people in first term bc that;s what they wanted to do ????? it's ok to move onto different people bc u will eventually get tired of doing these things u don't like just to be able to hang out with people !! now i go to bookstores and cafes with my new friends and i love it!! don't settle !!

[stemmmm]

Stem's Thoughts on Harvest Moon 64

(that other title's too long so i'm cutting it down now)

Harvest Moon 64 opens on a scene of your character walking around the street, speaking to everyone in the village who’s come to the event. You quickly piece together that this event in question is actually your grandfather’s funeral, the same grandfather who’s farm you’re about to take over. This little scene beautifully sets up both the tone of the game, and immediately shows the player that this iteration is far more focused on the story and characters. HM64 tells a story about the lives of many people in a small, dying town. It is a story about life, and it is a story about death.

A short disclaimer before we dig in: I played this game before the idea to write these essays cropped up, and have not replayed it since then, so this will be mostly vibes. I will try to do my research to make sure I’m not straight up lying though. (Also all of the images in this one are from google because I don't have a means of getting images from my N64 other than photographing the tv screen and I'm not doing that.)

What’s new!

HM64, also called Harvest Moon 2 by HMGB2 and nothing else I’ve ever seen, is the direct sequel to HM SNES. It’s not a sequel in the usual way sequels are, where you’re continuing where you left off with the same character, but in that every main character is the descendant of their equivalent in the previous game. It’s not important to the story, in fact if you don’t already know this, you probably wouldn’t notice anything past some similarities. I played this game before I tried out SNES and it still took me a minute, plus having it directly pointed out to me to get it. Maybe I’m oblivious, who knows. 

Gameplay-wise, this iteration is home of a few series firsts: For one, your house can be upgraded to have a kitchen! You can't cook though, only collect recipes. You can also get a greenhouse where you can grow crops year-round. Sheep are introduced as barn animals that produce wool. You receive a fishing rod you can use whenever you want, but as far as I understand, the timing is nigh impossible unless you’re playing on a CRT (I am not, and never managed to catch a single fish). There’s a mine you can access in winter for something to do while you can’t grow crops (there are fall crops, but not winter) where you can find about two key items and garbage otherwise. Tool upgrades are no longer done by magic, but by leveling them up through use! Which I think is very neat and feels very natural, like you’ve just become more proficient with them as a farmer through practice. Characters can now come to visit you on the farm at random times, for either special story events or just to say hi! Your farmer can get sick from working too hard in bad weather, just like your animals, and there’s now medicine for that, just like your animals. And there’s inventory menus that I'll discuss at better length later.

What’s the same is… Most things in a basic sense. You’re on a farm with a dog, planting crops, raising livestock. You can make friends with folks in town by talking to them and giving them gifts. The livestock mechanics, as far as I could see and as far as I’ve been able to understand from online forums, are exactly the same as they were in SNES, the exception being there’s no wild beasts that can kill your animals but they’ll still get sick if they aren’t fenced overnight– and they’re not going to eat any grass unless they’re out overnight anyways.

As for your farm, you’re set up with the usual: a small house, a barn, coop, and fodder silo, a wood bin to store debris cleared off your farm, and a big messy field that you have to clean up before you can properly use it. It starts with three new additions though; a doghouse, a bowl that you can feed your dog with by putting edible items in there, and a mailbox that you’ll occasionally receive letters and notices in! They’re small additions, but very, very charming. The one thing that’s been removed is the toolshed, now replaced by a tiny toolbox by your house.

The world outside your farm is like an enhanced version of the SNES map. Imagine the town and forest now have one or two extra sections tacked onto them, one in the town for some extra housing, and a couple in the forest to let you explore the mountain more and get you deeper into the woods. The mountain still has a cave in it (this time with Harvest Sprites, who have been removed from your farm) and a summit you can climb to for certain events, but it has been upgraded with little wild animals that wander around and can be picked up and shown to people for a few friendship points, if they like the animal. (This applies to your dog too, there’s a well known exploit to max out Karen’s friendship in one day by repeatedly showing it to her in the bar where time is stopped.) The crossroads zone is also expanded by having three new areas you can travel to– the ranch that you buy animals at, a vineyard that’s more of a story-area, and a beach that mostly comes into play for a couple of summer festivals! 

On the visual side, this game is the series’ first venture into the new frontier of 3d graphics… kind of. The artstyle is made of isometric 3D models that are rendered into flat sprites and then projected onto the TV as if that’s not what’s happening. The game even lets you turn your farm around in 3D to face different directions, but it’s locked to only let you play in specific angles. Changing the direction made me forget where everything was and get lost on my own tiny farm, so I never touched that mechanic.

Due to the dramatic artstyle shift– not only being in 3D but also presented at a 45 degree angle, the game becomes a fair bit harder to play than either of its 2D predecessors. The controls are just a little clunky, and the bizarre shape of the N64 controller really doesn’t help. This makes the tedium of farming a little irritating to do, since it requires pretty precise inputs done over and over for every extra thing you’re trying to grow. Fortunately, you're not on the hook to ship everything before 5PM comes around like in SNES, so you get to move a little bit slower. The fickle farming experience also gets a little help from the new inventory menu that can be accessed anywhere and any time. It has multiple inventory slots for both tools and items, each type having a dedicated section so there’s no need to prioritize carrying tools versus turnips. Unfortunately, this actually ends up being a little more cumbersome than useful, as the menu takes a little longer than is comfortable to open and is pretty clunky to use. I mostly avoided it unless I was bringing gifts to people. But the addition of an inventory opens up the opportunity for something else which defines this entire game...

Key items– a set of unique, unsellable items –are most frequently found in random, secret places around the farm and town, and they give you a reason to scour every inch of the place. They can also be given to you by NPCs when you gain relationships with them, which is convenient because their entire purpose is to help you get even better relationships with each of them, and maybe even unlock little stories with characters. For example, there’s a music box you can dig up in your field that can be given to any of the girls for a decently sized relationship bump. There’s also an old weathervane in the shape of a chicken that you can find in the little mine. If you give it to Rick, he’ll tell you that it was a precious thing that belonged to his grandmother as a cute scene to deepen the town’s lore and connect it to the first game. Key items quickly become the most important and sought after things in the game because they act as a vessel to deliver that which the game is all about: stories.

Lots of people in a little town

The narrative premise is exceedingly simple: you need to fix up your grandfather’s ruined farm and make a new life for yourself in this town within a certain amount of time, just like its predecessors. Except, this game is a lot bigger than either of them, and it didn’t fill all the extra space with new things to grow on your farm. In my entry on the SNES game, I mentioned that the introspective style of writing turned the repetitive farming gameplay into something more like meditation on things going on in the town. This game takes that idea and runs with it! The town in this game may only be slightly bigger than it was before, but it has a lot more people in it, and every single one of them has a lot more to say, more to do, more festivals to go to, and more story events to take part in. There's even a new photo album that fills in with images for reaching special events or succeeding at certain festivals! Your given goal may be to successfully revitalize your farm, but that rapidly stops being the reason why you want to play. Farming is only a means to further the narrative of the town.

Story events are no longer a reward for reaching the highest heart level with a girl, but instead something that happens naturally in the world as you make better friends with people, or if you just happen to be in the right place at the right time. The world doesn’t only consist of you living it and things happening to you. Instead, you end up being a fly on the wall to other people’s conversations and life events, and you get to see how those events change the people around you. People will begin to say different things, go different places, live different lives without your input at all– often much better lives, as everyone in the town is pretty deeply troubled, whether they seem like it or not.

There’s an added depth, too. While the characters in this series have always been defined by their conflicts (in the first game, every big cutscene with each girl was exclusively about their major life conflicts), this game takes it further in multiple ways. Characters have conflicts with their families: you as the player have a conflict with your parents who can take you home if you fail to farm well, Lillia and Basil have conflict over their marriage and the fact that Basil leaves for half the year, and Karen’s family situation is…. A lot. Then, there are characters at conflict with things much more nebulous, like the Mayor who tells you that the town is going to die out but he can’t find any way to save it, or like the young boy Kent who wants to be a farmer just like you, but through a series of events is forced to learn that life isn’t so simple, people can’t just do whatever they would like, and it takes very hard work to get to do the things you dream of. And then there are conflicts that aren’t even necessarily conflicts unless they run into your long-term plans.

Instead of only having a bunch of girls in town who exist only as your prospective marriage candidates, there are also five boys in the town who will marry those girls instead of you, if given the chance. Like in SNES, there are 5 levels of hearts that the girls can have for you. Unlike SNES, each one of these hearts has a corresponding event you can have with the girl where there’s a chance of her liking you more afterwards, if you say the right things. In addition to that though, there are just as many events coming from the other side of the story, rival events that trigger if you happen to be good friends with the boys.

My favorite story by far is that of Harris the mailman who falls in love with the librarian, Maria, from just seeing her handwriting on the outside of all the letters that she would write. I frequently saw him in the bar at the end of the day and he would tell me the woes of his love, saying that he just needed to work up the courage to finally speak to her. Then one day, I happened to be outside of the library when he and Maria met face to face and she handed over a letter addressed to him. No longer did he sit in the bar forlorn every night, instead all he would do was excitedly tell me about Maria, and then when I visited the library, Maria would tell me about Harris!

While I’m on the subject of these characters, I think it’s worth going in a little more depth on who these people are past the grandchildren of the characters from the last game. See, you may be familiar with names like Karen and Kai and Gray, etc., etc. from a little recently remade game called Story of Seasons: Friends of Mineral Town, which is a modern version of Friends of Mineral Town on the GameBoy Advance, which is a port of Back to Nature on the PlayStation. These are not those characters. At all. While the basic elements of these characters are intact– Popuri is cute and childish, Ann is a workaholic, Maria is shy and a little oblivious –nothing else is the same. They all work different jobs and marry different people than they are paired with in later entries, and in my humble opinion, it all works WAY better in this game, probably because of the fact that these characters were designed for this specific context!

As an example, Popuri’s exasperated mother, Lillia, runs the flower shop and Popuri was named by her father, Basil, who loves plants. She’s childish and sweet and loves flowers, but can also be a complete brat. She eventually marries Gray, Ann’s brother, who lives on the ranch run by his father, Doug, who struggles to understand his children. Gray is an angry young man who seems to have a particular dislike for you, but you don’t learn why until you discover he was a promising young jockey until he got a bad injury and had to give up the sport.

Am I gushing a bit and letting the game design part fall to the wayside? Sure probably, but I can only gush because the game does a brilliant job of making a cast of characters who, while simple on their own, have interconnected lives that come together to give every one of them so much more depth than they would have otherwise. It all builds a narrative, and while narrative design is definitely something different than game design on its own, this game is far more about the narrative so it’s impossible to not focus on.

The problems

The trouble with these events is that I nearly missed the chance to see that letter be exchanged. You have some control over the progression of the events, because you have to be decent friends with the boys in order for them to trigger at all, but unlike the girls who have a handy visual signal of how much they like you, the boys have no such thing, so you can’t really know if a new event is ready to fire off. There’s no way of knowing where or when they’ll happen either unless you look it up, and even then you have to get lucky because sometimes they just don’t trigger when you want them to. I had a lovely moment in my game where I managed to accidentally catch a cold from working too hard in the snow and lost a day to being bedridden, followed by the New Years celebration which takes a day away from you, then followed by Kai and Karen’s wedding– something that I had missed multiple events for and therefore had no idea was coming, which also took a day from me. After that three day chain of no work, I think I was extremely lucky my animals didn’t get sick and die. 

This chain of events led directly to me never speaking to Gray again, even though he was the boy I was most interested in, because I wanted to marry Popuri and there was too much risk of him getting to her before I could. The reason why I didn’t go into more detail about the relationship between those two when I was talking about them earlier is because I straight up don’t know it, I couldn’t risk giving them a chance to get together.

The thing is, even if I hadn’t forced Gray and Popuri’s cutscenes to stop, I still wouldn’t actually know what their relationship is like, because I have not beaten this game. I know what the ending entails and I can reasonably expect I probably would not have gotten an excellent one, but I’m sure it still would have been fine. I stopped playing the game entirely before I even managed to get married. Why? Because I couldn’t get any of Popuri’s heart events to trigger. I had her hearts maxed out and had a blue feather ready to go in my pocket, so I could turn on the game and marry her right away anytime I wanted to. But I wanted to trigger the little events, even if they’re just a couple seconds of some pixels talking to me on a screen. They’re cute. And it made me sad that I couldn’t see them for some imperceptible reason. So I stopped playing and didn’t pick the game back up.

I don’t remember how close I was to the end of the game, I know I was at least in year 2, but I don’t even remember how much longer the game is after that. Probably a good amount. I had definitely gotten most of the events you could get at this point, since multiple other characters had gotten married, and the farming wasn’t something I really enjoyed so I can’t say I wasn’t at least a little bored by this point, but I wasn’t frustrated with the general mechanics of the game. The days were long enough, but not too long, that I had just enough time to go anywhere I wanted and do what I needed before night came. I could still talk to characters and go to festivals and play minigames. But I didn’t want to, because the game wasn’t doing what it seemed like it was supposed to for some arbitrary reason and that frustrated me enough to make me stop. When the fun of a game is found more in experiencing special events rather than anything else, the player feels cheated out of their good time when those events are too hard to find or can be missed outright, and that’s exactly what I experienced.

Parting Thoughts

The ending, according to what I've read, is very similar to the SNES endings, in that you’ll get different results based on all of the different things you’ve done. Whether you’re married, how many crops you shipped, how many animals you have, how well liked you are by the town… I imagine it’s not quite the victory lap that SNES’s ending was with its little cutscenes, since apparently all you get are comments on how well you performed by various people in the town, but it still seems nice and rewarding! At least like more of a reward than whatever the hell GB1 was trying to do. It seems like a perfectly good ending that it would be nice to see myself someday.

Despite all my troubles with this game, I believe HM64 is still the best one out there– at least that I’ve played yet. The events are plentiful and the content is meaty. The repetitive day to day dialogue still has the simple breath of life that SNES did, that manages to make the most out of a small amount. Don’t get me wrong, this game came out in 1999, I’m giving it a lot of praise but the characters still repeat the same line to you every day, and they still freeze in place until you leave the room. It’s revolutionary, but this is comparing it to a game on the literal Super Nintendo. Absolutely pick up this game to try it out, but keep those expectations tempered. That said, I never picked up this game nor knew a thing about it until I was well into my 20’s, but the moment I started playing, it hit me with a wave of nostalgia as if I’d known this game my whole life. At least to me, the look and feel of the game were like coming home to a childhood I never had.

 Will I pick up this game again with the intent to beat it? Maybe! Hard to say for sure when I’m trying to play decades worth of games and write about them at a comprehensive level. What I do know is that this is exactly what I want more farming games to be. It’s a game that has thoughts about life, and about death, both good and bad. And I think this is the perfect context to share those thoughts.

[captain-mj]

some ghostsoap cnc with selkie ghost maybe? I'm curious how I'd all work with his coat :)

I love your fics btw thank you sm for posting them!

I've been saving this ask for a rainy day so I wrote most of this the day of ao3 shut down and the other half when my cat died so this just felt right. Also CNC is used as therapy in this because I was possessed while writing it and have no control over it

Ghost didn't feel too nervous handing the coat to Soap. That was a huge sign of the trust he had in Soap. Well. He had also maybe told Price to check in the morning if Soap gave it back, but that's so besides the point.

They had talked everything through thoroughly. It was safe. Ghost just had to remember that as Soap put on his coat and he felt his freewill slowly drip out of him.

"Remember. I push too hard. You get uncomfortable. Simple safe word stops everything."

"Yes, sir." Ghost responded immediately.

Soap swallowed. "Repeat the safe word for me?"

"Gunpowder."

"There you go. Are you sure about this?" Soap asked tentatively.

Ghost had suggested this after researching therapy techniques. Reliving the trauma in a healthy way. Soap mostly had the coat so Ghost wouldn't flip out and fight him. There were still clear boundaries and safe words. Either could step out at any time.

"I'm sure."

Soap nodded and gently bound Ghost's wrists behind his back. They were starting simple. Recreating when the lady....

The lady...

Soap's hand on his cheek brought him back to reality. "Simon."

"Keep going."

Soap nodded and pulled off his mask. He reached down and cut off Ghost's shirt.

"Don't touch me." Ghost snarled at him.

Soap ignored him. Instead running his hands over Ghost's body, squeezing his pecs and scratching down his chest. "Firm. You feel good."

Ghost growled louder at him and tried to get away, but Soap's hands were insistent. It felt good. It was Soap so of course it did. Soap would never hurt him.

His dick was certainly showing interest.

"Please..."

Soap leaned down and kissed him, biting at Ghost's throat. "Just relax and enjoy this."

Ghost's body immediately went lax and pleasure clouded his brain. He felt his pants get unzipped and he struggled more.

"No. No no no."

Soap stroked him slowly, getting a feel for it. "Jesus. You're so big. Not sure how I'll fit it."

Ghost pleaded with him to stop, even as he got hard. He found himself enjoying this a lot more than he thought he would but he wanted to play his part. Soap dripped lube on him slowly. The cold making goosebumps over his flesh. He shivered and tried to tense to brace himself, but the order to relax kept him from doing so.

His warm hand started to stroke him, spreading the cold lube around. "Going to ride you. A reward for all your hard work."

It wasn't expected, but it added a little to the realism. Ghost felt himself falling in a weird space between what actually happened and what's happening now at Soap's hand. He rubbed his thumb over Ghost's slit and made him groan.

Panic and pleasure started to curl up in his stomach. Soap wouldn't stop moving his hand and Ghost groaned.

"Stop. I can't."

Soap huffed. "No. Want to enjoy this." His body was on display. It made Ghost so goddamn horny it was hard to think. He felt so flustered and it felt so good.

Soap continued for a good long time before deciding he had enough. Then he threw his legs over his lap and sat up. He started to slide down on him, head falling back. For a moment, Ghost worried that Soap would hurt himself before realizing he must've stretched himself before hand. He felt so warm.

"No. I can't take it." Instinctively, he tried to escape his binds but he couldn't. His arms strained as he tried to break them and free himself.

"Yeah, you can." Soap started to ride him immediately, clearly enjoying himself. He kept his eyes on him just in case.

Simon panted softly and closed his eyes. He was panicking so much he almost couldn't enjoy it. He didn't want to safe word yet, wanting to keep pushing. Johnny wouldn't hurt him. Never would.

Soap leaned into his ear. "Just feel the pleasure alright? I want you to only feel good."

The order was accidental, but there. All of the synapses in Ghost's brain shifted, sending sparks of just pure pleasure through him. The small aches that never left his body and the soreness in his scars disappeared. All he felt was the warmth and his now impending orgasm.

Warmth and pressure. All around him. Soap's warm skin against his chest. Mouth on his and on his neck. His entire body sang as the pressure mounted and then he came, stars filling his vision.

Soap kissed him softly and moaned into his mouth, riding him through it. Overstimulation hit but it felt so goddamn good. Tears started streaming down his face as his ears rang. His refractory period must've been ruined by the order because he's fairly certain he came again.

His body could only feel the pleasure and without the pain to cut it, everything felt dizzying. It coursed through him and his brain felt like it was melting.

He must've blacked out for just a second because the next thing he knew, Soap was frantically trying to get his attention.

"Simon. Simon." He was shaking him slightly, looking scared. Ghost's coat was back around him so that's why the order ended.

"Johnny." His voice sounded wrecked and dopey even to his own ears. "Johnny."

"You okay? Jesus, I knew this wasn't a good idea I am so so-"

Simon kissed him softly, holding him close. "Perfect."

"What?"

"Perfect."

"You blacked out."

Simon shrugged and grinned, eyes focusing a bit more. "Cuddle me."

Johnny looked surprised but he did cuddle him. "You never really ask for this."

Simon shrugged and snuggled him, loose and vulnerable. "Yeah. Usually because I think of her. But right now...

I only think of you."

[fandomfluffandfuck]

uhm hi Mr. S can you do one like you did with Evanstan but it’s with them comforting a ftm guy? I adore your work and want to get a tattoo of some of your excerpts when i have the funds for it ❤️❤️❤️

related to this, maybe? I'm not totally sure

For reference, my ask box is no longer open for requests, but this is from before I closed it, so I will be writing for this ask.

First, hi, you're so sweet, and while it's my impulse to be like, don't do that-! My words aren't good enough for that! It is also your choice, haha. I would be interested to know what words those are 👀 I feel like all I write is silly, kinky smut, lol.

Second, being not trans myself, I'm a little hesitant to write trans characters because it's not my experience and especially with comfort for dysphoria because I worry I'll be patronizing without realizing/call more attention to something that makes someone feel worse instead of better, but, I'll try. Especially 'cause I am a big believer in the idea that if you're a writer and you flat out can't even approach writing a whole swath of people then... you're a poor writer. If you're a man writing and you can't write a woman or a nonbindary person; if you're a straight writer and you can't write a queer character; if you're a cis writer and you can't write a trans character. Like, take in research and try and see the person for being a person with universal experiences. So, if there's anything shaky in here, I apologize in advance. I'm trying!

You're dragging yourself through what feels like mud--thick and heavy--instead of air as you climb out of your car and accidentally slam the door behind you, swaying ever so slightly on your feet.

You're so fucking exhausted that you don't even realize the weight you've thrown behind the reckless, automatic movement to close the car behind you until the sound hits your ears painfully. You wince. It's too fucking loud. It's too bright outside, too. Shit, everything is too much, and you don't want a piece of it--of anything.

The only thing you want to do is nothing. You just want to lay face down on the floor and sink into the foundation of the house, fuck it, you want to go deeper than that. Forget the cold concrete, you want to retire to the earth itself with heavy, cold dirt compacted on top of you, weighing down on all sides until it doesn't matter if your flesh and bones or just bones or nothing at all.

You don't want anything at all. You're exhausted by everything. Every moment, every interaction all day at work has just been wrong. You're just fucking sick of shit. Sick of being on the phone and having people mistake you for someone you're not. Sick of co-workers tip-toeing around you and being grandly and overly apologetic. Sick of delivery people and interns and other strangers around the office making assumptions.

The entire drive home, you've tried to put it all out of your mind. Reminding yourself that at least you don't have to deal with those fucking people at home. At least, at home, you can be. Just be. But... It's hard enough to turn your work brain off as is on good days, let alone bad days where your dysphoria eats you alive--gnashing teeth inside you and hungry, teethed mouths from the outside.

It's too much.

It feels like an impossible task to slog through the mud pulling at you to get from the driver's seat of your car to your front door. As relieving as it is to see your house, your home, it's rough to get inside.

You're saved from slamming the front door by tired limbs, at least. Heavy and tired, the best you can do is use your own body to press back against the inside of the door, shouldering it closed. In a few steps, barely making it to the mouth of the entryway, then, you flatten your back to the wall and sliding down to the floor as limp as a sheet of paper floating down from where it was pushed off the edge of a desk. You fall to sit on the floor without a hint of a fuck if you're getting dirt on your ass or not, next to the shoe wrack. And, for the first time all day, you breathe out, lungs deflating with a defeated rasp.

So caught up in your tangle of teeth and hollowness and heaviness, you don't even process the sound of the TV, turned on in the living room to your right, or the muffled foot falls of one of your boyfriends to the left.

And before either boyfriend even has a chance to know what's wrong or observe that there is anything wrong in the first place--

Sebastian's head turns from where he was just facing the flat-screen TV, "hey, look what the cat dragged in," he smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling but not looking too carefully at you, keeping one eye on whatever show he's devouring.

Chris, then, appears from other side of the house, not with Sebastian chilling in the living room, catching up on TV, but about there, coming back from the kitchen, probably dumping off a drained beer bottle to the recycling. He, too, smiles at you, "hey, handsome," he thoughtlessly murmurs, going just a tiny, little ways out of his path to lean down, squeeze you with a big, burly arm around your shoulders and kiss the top of your head.

Any energy that you might normally have to poke fun back, making some comment about pussy cats or Seb's allergy to them just isn't there.

Barely, you keep yourself from further crumbling under the compliment and kiss. You're pretty crumbled as is with your back against the wall, spine curved, knees to your chest, arms crossed over your legs, wanting to crush into a ball. But... being wilted in such a way just makes everything worse. You let your arms drop from being folded over your knees. Ugh. Fuck this. You can hardly breathe with your arms squeezed into your sides, feeling your own body from your armpits, your ribs, all the way down your sides toward your hips. Fuck this.

'Handsome' coming out of Chris' mouth is the best thing you've heard all day, yet, at the same time... it feels too good to be true. If everyone on the phone and at work and strangers in your office and people on the street and everyone everywhere all the fucking time can't see you for who you're fucking supposed to be then... how do they? What if they're humoring you? What if they don't actually think that? What if--

Chris' hand is warm and heavy, solid, on your shoulder, traveling around to massage your neck, tapping at the top bone that portrudes from your neck when you hang your head. The heat of his body blazes through you as he squeezes the muscles there, lowering his voice to a quiet rumble and saying your name, your name, with enough twang for it to be a question.

He wants to know what's going on with you. He can probably guess, if he tried, but you know he wants to hear it from you. He wants to help. He's always so kind and generous and--

You can't assume anything bad of a man like him. He's geniune. Always so genuine. Open and honest. Still, you can't gather enough spirit to even lift your head. Shits fucking tough. It's just a bad day. You'd rather go to bed and try again later.

Yet, beyond the dark cavern you've made, your chin tucked, legs bunched to your chest, uncomfortable and also all you can bear to do, you hear the sounds of the sofa springs complaining as Seb extracts himself from the cozy furniture. The couch wishes he wouldn't, and you don't blame it. You too, find it terrible when Sebastian's all tucked into you and decides to move. He's the best. Kind and generous and sweet.

"Babe?" Seb asks, his careful probe directed toward you, Chris, or both. "Oh," he murmurs, probably spotting the both of you--you, crumbled, and Chris crouched and huddled in close, his hands on your neck and back, your shoulders, grounding you to this moment. "Long day?" The sound of Sebastian comes closer.

"You could say that," your voice draws up dry as if a rickety bucket pulled from a well on a spindly, fraying rope. There's no water at the bottom. Just. Empty and rough.

Chris huffs in amusement at your reply but stays close, knowing you're dead serious despite the layer of sarcasm coating your unenthusiastic words.

"Something in particular or, just, all of it?" Sebastian, again, sounds closer, drawn in by a rope. You're both grateful for it and a little worse off, drawing him in like this. In the same way that you spiral thinking that maybe they see you the same wrong way everyone else sees you, you can easily go off the deep end feeling as though you're being a burden. It takes effort to recall all the times they've assured you of the opposite. You're not sure you have the energy now.

Today.

"Ugh," you groan, feeling goosebumps lift on your skin, across your whole damn body thinking about it--feeling the toll of your whole day and the friction between you and everything else within it, "every minute of it."

"Anything we can do?" Chris asks, scooting closer, getting comfortable. He would stay here for the rest of the night if you wanted him to. Sebastian, too. They're both so good. Good to you.

"I don't know," you say, even while shaking your head no. It's hard, just, it's you. It's something that they can't reach inside you and touch--not something they can tinker with and fix. Unfortunately.

It's a pit in the center of your chest that's dark and hollow yet heavy, and it runs veins down your entire body, entangling you with knotted lines of thread, dragging you down like a deep sea fishing net. As nice as it is when they do offer you obvious reassurance and say how handsome you are and how strong you are and nonverbally feather their fingertips over your jaw or shoulders to show you how much they happen to love the body you, on your worst days, hate and feel completely alien from, or when they ask to borrow your cologne 'cause it smells nice or when they share clothes with you or anything else that's overt that reminds you you're an inarguable man to them, and a desirable man at that, sometimes... it can also get to be too much.

Sometimes, it reverts back in your head. Too much of a good thing? Like. It becomes--it becomes... it... it's something else. It's hard to even describe. They know that, which is why Chris is asking now. Sometimes exactly what you need is to be told you're strong and handsome and everything of the sort. And, sometimes, it's a call out that brings attention to how fragile you already feel. It can be everything you want, a barrage in the best way, or it can be your worst enemy. Though, when they ask when you can't handle all the compliments, your brain contorting them into something backward and demeaning--even though that's not true and you know that--it makes you feel that much more defeated.

It makes you feel more defeated now.

It fucking sucks that they can't help.

You would prefer if you could take it, if they could just say two things each and your day would be more normal, but...

That's not it. Not every day.

Today is a slog.

"What about..." Sebastian starts, trying to think of something to offer while Chris jumps in--

"Sweat it out?"

"Chris!" Seb squawks.

"What?" Chris asks, probably turning around to look up at him.

"Down boy," Seb huffs out a gentle, slightly scandalized laugh. You can picture him shaking his head, burying his face in his hands, even though you're not looking at him.

That makes Chris snort, catching the accidental innuendo he said now that it's been called out. He pats your knee apologetically, "I promise I meant the gym," he pauses, "unless-?"

With half a laugh stuck halfway up your throat, you manage a parroted, "down boy." Locker rooms, sweating from every place, being surrounded by mirrors that show your every angle, and a whole fuck ton of other men surrounding you, probably cis men, tricking you into comparing yourself to them, sounds like your personal version of the ninth circle of hell right about now. Thee worst thing. You know Chris genuinely enjoys working out--it makes him feel good, it makes him feel strong, it makes him feel like a man--so it's sweet of him to offer. But. Not today.

"Woof woof," Chris answers you and Sebastian, all that good, Boston-boy sincerity and goofiness.

"Hmm," Seb thinks out loud, "how about Chris skips the gym, and you two watch TV with me instead? I'm basically done with the episode I'm watching anyway. We can start something fresh. We'll get pj's and throw the couch blankets in the dryer to warm up and settle in."

"Way to be transparent, Sebastian," Chris teases softly, "using his bad day as an excuse to hold us hostage until we're as stockholmed into your weird, scary documentaries as you are."

"Noooo," Seb whines.

You crack a half-smile.

"Uh-huh, sure, baby," Chris quips, "we got your number, don't we, babe?" Chris drums his piano-playing fingers on your knee.

Their back-and-forth fills the space, pleasant, familiar, and boisterous, and shakes loose an agreeing, "yup" from within your chest. You don't feel quite so choked now. Its easier with them. It always is. They can't fix everything but they make it all seem less fucking tiring.

"See? He's on my side. Two against one, Seb." You can hear Chris' bearded smile.

You don't need to look up to know that Seb has a light blush staining his face or to know that his mouth is hanging open slightly. Just thinking about it pulls a chuckle out of you. They're idiots. But, your idiots who've offered to keep you company.

Now and always.

You'd be an idiot to not take them up on it.

"Okay," you sigh, not because you're put out, but because your shit, unfitting day of no one recognizing you is slowly cracking and peeling off from the inside of your too-tight body. "TV and blankets," you're distracted enough by Sebastian's suggestion and the opportunity to pull Seb's head into your lap to massage his scalp until he all but purrs like a kitten while Chris' head ends up on your shoulder, half on your chest, making you feel big and protective, that your traitorous mind doesn't remember to feel fragile or little while Chris grabs your hand to pull you to your feet. You know it's not because he thinks you can't do it yourself. It's because he cares for you. You. He sees you. He looks at you and sees you. Just--

"No disturbing documentaries at least three hours before bed but up until then..."

"Fair game?" Seb tilts his head to the side, eyes sparkling with mischief.

"Fair game," you agree. "Just none later, you can't go giving Chris nightmares again." You feel good enough to join in with their good-natured teasing.

"That was one time!" Chris whines, clutching onto your hand as if pleading with you to let it go.

"One time too many, scaredy-cat," Sebastian rolls his eyes.

Chris sticks his tongue out because he's an actual man-child. But, he's distracted easily, saying, "so... if we're cuddling and spending the rest of the night on the couch, no workouts, then... snacks?"

That makes you laugh, "snacks," you nod, "fuck it, you might as well call it a cheat day, break out the jellybeans, too."

"Jellybeans?" Seb stops in his tracks from where he was heading to the bedroom, walking away, "we have jellybeans, and no one thought to tell me?"

"I thought you'd know by now 'cause this guy--" you shove Chris softly, stumbling towards the bedroom and comfortable clothes "--can't fucking live without 'em. He's half candy, don't you know?"

"That's true," Seb agrees in the same moment that Chris retorts--

"It's just means I'm sweet."

"Shut up," you joke, light for what the first time since you rolled out of bed this morning.

I hope that was what you wanted! <3

[amethystfairy1]

What’s your writing process? Like do you do outlines or just jump right into plot etc… I’m a young writer (14) and really admire your work and want to get better myself. Ty!

✨WRITING PROCESS✨

...

this.

this is my writing process.

OK TO BE REAL THO

Firstly, I don't do outlines.

I KNOW THAT'S BAD BUT I JUST DON'T

What I usually do is word vomit whatever idea I have for a fic into a notes file.

For example! Here's a little random nonsense I just copied verbatim from my notes file that might look familiar!

Tango and Z in sky, blue cracks, Z decides to drop a container with info and his phone number into the rift. He wants to talk to the hybrids, maybe he’s some sort of researcher, he went AWOL from the biotech Institute, something like that. But he is human. Then, tango finds it, or it is brought to him, because he is a direct aid to doc in the labs. Tango ends up deciding to call Z, and they end up becoming really good friends, but only over the phone. Have some fun stuff, where both Z and tango are getting a crush, but how can you crush on someone you’ve never even seen? Tango is freaking out, because he’s not the type of hybrid that can pass as human. he knows he’ll never be able to meet Z face to face. But Z is a little more determined that he gives him credit for. Also have X be a side character in the labs, voidwalker, something like that! Maybe Z is an AWOL scientist, and scar, picked him up to work in his hot guy lab, with cub.

This is the blurb that spawned the Zedango arc in TTSBC.

In case you can't tell I use the dictation function in notes because like 90% of the time I have ideas while I'm driving so I'll just tell my phone to write down whatever I'm thinking and then talk it out

So yeah! I do this, which I dunno is kinda like an outline? I do it for more or less all of my fics.

As far as other stuff, I think the best advice I can give about being a "better writer", which has to do with your question about 'jumping into plot' is to know about your characters and your world , even if you don't plan to share that information in the piece you are writing, or even like, ever.

It's the way you make your characters feel like people. I was actually talking about this with @honeylashofficial not to long ago! You should know why your characters make the choices they do, even if that information never comes up. You should know what they like and dislike and why, if they have traumas then how would those traumas affects them in small daily ways?

Jimmy in TTSBC grew used to being threatened for his wings, so now he has a love-hate relationship with them.

Tango spent a long time without a truly safe place to sleep as a child, so now he has insomnia because he has an internalized fear of falling asleep/being vulnerable.

Zed was treated very poorly at his previous workplace, and he had a terrible experience where his professional lifes work was torn to shreds in front of him, so his self-esteem is very low, and he tends to be very self-deprecating even in a joking fashion.

Cub has sensory issues that severely impact his mood because of his warden hybrid traits, so he typically keeps himself very low energy as a baseline to avoid seeming like he has mood swings.

Even little stuff like what characters notice about their surroundings! Again in TTSBC, Jimmy pays close attention to the weather and the sky, Scott notices people features and expressions, Cub has more detailed thoughts about sounds than he does about sights, stuff like that!

Also I'm gonna give ya the piece of advice no one wants to hear when they're just starting. Just write. Write a TON.

Write even if you only have half an idea. Write even if you think it's gonna be bad. Write if you have even the slightest smallest bit of a motivation to do so, just WRITE WRITE WRITE.

And I will say while I could just be one of the lucky ones, I have been posting on various fanfic websites since I was 13. And in all that time I can count on one hand the amount of hate/negative comments I have received. Over a DECADE of writing and posting and I’ve written and posted A LOT and I have only ever been met with kindness, excitement, and encouragement.

Also, the delete button exists for a reason. You curate your experience on these websites. Especially on A03, with the ability to reply to comments, you can make very clear very quickly what sort of comments you want, which ones you don't, and the vast vast vast majority will be people who are excited about your work and want to encourage you!

If you need a mood booster or some encouragement, you can find my old old stuff on FF.net under the same penname, Amethystfairy1. Just promise you won't come back over here and send asks laughing at me for how bad those stories are, ok? 😆

My point is, you learn best by doing. As you write you will get a feel for your characters, for how they interact and react, for what your specific writing style is going to be and what you enjoy writing the most. And write what you enjoy! Of course you should stretch your writing style, but also make sure you never feel like you're slogging through your writing, especially if it's for fun or creative!

OH ONE MORE THING! 👏

I HIGHLY RECCOMEND DOING A WRITING CHALLENGE!

Stuff like Whumptober, Febuwhump, Novemcomfort, AU-gust, or different fandom weeks that come up, you can find them all over tumblr! Try to participate in one of those and get in as many days as you can! It'll make you write a lot in a short period of time, and you won't have time to overthink it, which I believe is really helpful for finding your writing style and getting comfortable with writing and posting content! It'll also give you a connection to a community of other writers who are participating, especially if you plan to post your updates to tumblr like I do!

Whatever you do on your writing journey, I hope it brings you much joy, fun, and creativity! You'll create something beautiful, I just know it! 💖

[askuemki]

ranting about WCUE

I have ALOT of (maybe) unnecessary grudges with so many things abt WCUE. I love reading rants, so I'll as might as well put out my own too. To the people (probably most of my followers) who don't know what the game is, basically it's a children's game on Roblox based off of the book series Warrior Cats, by Erin Hunter. I apologize in advance, there may be some lingo you may not understand.

So WCUE has been my comfort game for many, many years. Partly, it's my childhood and it's just a game I can just go and chill. Make silly cats without working my ass off on drawing. But when I want to actually go and try and join a clan? Have fun roleplaying a little? (I'll admit, it's a fun thing from time to time.) Every. Single. Fucking. clan. Never manages to keep itself up. It takes SO LONG to set things up. To get the right people. It'll take hours for a clan to get running. And for what? For people to sit in the clearing? For your complicated "fun" plots to fall flat? I don't get being picky. Sure, you want your major roles to have experience, to know their shit. But if you keep yearning for that one miss perfect medicine cat who knows all of the out of game herbs? Bullshit. Major roles are here to have fun too, not to just manage. It's so frustrating whenever I want to be a leader, or a medic and to have 1000's of kids yapping at my toes. You're expected to babysit. To do their wishes. You only matter as a major because you're needed. Something else with these "experienced roleplays" is the cliques. People form friend groups, that's natural. But if it's a game where people are SUPPOSED to chat and cooperate, what's the point if you don't include them too? Those prophecy plots? It's only fun if you're the main character. People who join later are confused, or you get shoved into the back. And when the rules are established? NOBODY upholds them after 10 minutes. I'm tired of seeing people sitting in the clearing, or moping around alone. I'll admit I'm quite guilty sitting by myself, but at some point you'll need to get thing going with one or more people. You'll eventually get demotivated from loneliness. Another thing, "exp" people. (Or cats, per say.) It frustrates me to see people using these unnecessarily lengthy words to describe something. Incandescent, tarsal bones, premolars, dentations, all of that bullshit-you don't need those words when people can't even understand you. Recently, I got some real good advice from a mentor. Good writing doesn't involve using these long words. If they aren't in your everyday vocabulary? Just don't. Don't use them. You come off as arrogant and show offish. (Unless that's how you intend to display yourself.) Good writing involves clarity, making things CLEAR for other people. Instead of using words only Shakespear would use, why not describe your surroundings in your descriptions? Other cats? Going in depth with thoughts? If you want to go the route where you're using complicated vocabulary, at least research the words you want to use. Again, I'm guilty for this phase.

My partner was telling me about how she was auditioning for medic, and the person auditioning posted this question: "What herb tastes tangy and bitter?" (or something of the like.) It was yarrow. At least according to a quick search- it's supposed to taste like licorice. I'm convinced clan founders auditioning medics are making shit up. What herb is this? What herb is that? The more "experienced" players lean towards out of game herbs, and it gives an unfair advantage for players wanting that role. I don't have time in my day to study herbs like I'm studying for my exams. The "unexperienced" players (maybe this can also be for everyone) have problems too, I'm not going to just complain about the veteran members. HARASSMENT. There's those people who shoo spectators away like pests. It's a public server. It isn't YOUR clan, let them exist. It pisses me off when they're so abrupt and arrogant about it. If you ask? Maybe they'd be more willing to move away. It also sucks when there is a valid roleplay with specific lore, and (agreeable) rules to follow, and people insert themselves like they're the main character. No, SpeckledPelt you can't have the leader role just because you equipped the icon. No BloodBush (fuck you, specifically), you wanted to join the clan; don't boss the host around when they're trying to set things up for you. I miss the WCUE where we didn't have to be so choosey about the people we appoint for roles. I miss the WCUE where we can be silly and fun, without having to feel sophisticated. Sure maybe the name "MochaHeart" is a little wacky, but at least they're doing their best to roleplay. To have fun.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

Kinou Nani tabeta. aka My Heart is Full aka I suck at titles

Let me just say before anything else. This is not a recap or a review. This is me feeling the need to write down my feelings because they are pouring out of me. This is more a personal note than anything else so skip it if that's not your thing.

I always watch this show on saturday mornings, with my coffee and breakfast, because it gives me a boost for the weekend. And I wanted to postpone the final episode as much as possible but I just couldn't. I gave in.

Second FYI. This will probably be incoherent and a mess because that's how I feel. Also, this fucking menopause (surgical, don't give me too many extra years) is really making a mess of my emotional state this week, so I'm all over the place. Also I might've had some wine. Also this may be a bit long. I think that's it.

How I got here

So, I've loved cinema since I was like 7. (yeah I'm going really back in time) Because my mom like films, she dragged to the cinema even when I was way too young for whatever was on. [ Fun Side note- The first film that I saw in the cinema was Bram Stoker's Dracula, when I was like 6, and my mum got into an argument with the cinema employee because" I am her mother, and I'll decide what she can or can't watch"and so I did watch it.]

So I always loved watching films, talking about them and eventually went to uni to learn how to make them. During that time, I went through a phase (which happened to a couple other people in my school) where I kinda got emotionally detached from the stories. I could only see the camera angles, the lighting, the editing, etc.

When I was done with uni, and had decided that editing was my favourite thing I started doing a bit of work in editing, mostly online stuff and a couple of ads in London, and 3 years later I was done. Obviously there were life factors and health factors that contributed to this, but still I left it all behind.

Then, I quickly went back to being able to watch stories with all the emotions.

Let's skip forward to present day.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? feel in my lap by way of my very first BL. Seven Days. I watched those films and went through all the emotions and needed more. More of that serotonin please.

So I got in research mode and that's when I found this wonderful world of BL and eventually this show.

Now, a little bit more about me, just in case you aren't sick of me talking about myself. I'm not a jolly person. If you asked anyone that knows me irl, they would describe me as someone who always thinks the sky is falling. However, I also love a lot of things deeply, and when it comes to things that I can't find a word big enough for it I call it magic. So I'll use it here.

Kinou Nani Tabeta? is magic.

If this show was a meal then the absolutely right ingredients were found, they were put in the hands of the best cooks and everything was prepared with love and care. This show that I love, was put together by people who love it, and couldn't not make it. This is what I believe. It's my kind of faith.

I've seen so many shows, I've loved so many of them, a lot of them touched me deeply. But only a few touched me this way.

When there is love in something, real care and empathy in the making of something, you can feel it, I believe. And I feel it so much watching this show. I get emotional just writing this.

I wish I could thank every single person that made this show possible. And we could argue all day about the quality of a show, its actors, writers or directors. I could argue why my favourite show is better than your favourite show, and why your show is more important than my show, and why that show failed and another succeeded. I will not argue about the importance of this show and my faith is unshakable.

Maybe because I love food so much and in my life my love filled moments were always around food, I connected at first with Kenji, because his reactions to food resemble mine. But this season Shiro stole my heart and soul. His quiet but profound way of loving Kenji made cry more than any sad scene ever could. And onions and chicken thighs will forever have deeper meaning in my kitchen. These two characters are so well written and so well acted, the words are so layered and so meaningful, that it's a miracle to me that it exists and that I got to watch it.

I'm sure other people will write much better posts about this show, and will probably be better (at a hell of a lot more on point) at writing about all the amazing things that this show has done. But I'm an emotional wreck and I could only write from a personal place today.

I'll be rewatching this show in it's entirety soon, because the evolution of these characters, Shiro specially, was such a joy to witness.

If you read this far, thank you. 💜

[pokimoko]

Get to Know me Tag!

Thank you @greentea-and-honey for tagging me in your post :D! I'll tag in @tiptapricot, @theophagism, @thealterscrolls and @duck-in-a-spaceship. :)

Last Song: 'The Rain' by Little Quirks. They're a band I only discovered somewhat recently but they're from the same region of NSW I grew up in, so that's pretty sweet. This song in particular is one of my favourites of theirs.

Favourite Colour: Purple equally tied with blue. I can never decide which I prefer more, I'm a very big fan of both. 💜💙

Last Book: I've almost finished reading 'The Seven Moons of Maali Almeida' by Shehan Karunatilaka, and I'm also in the middle of listening to the audiobook for 'The Haunting of Hill House' by Shirley Jackson.

Last Movie: I watched 'The Thing' (1982) last weekend. It's been on my to-watch list for yonks (because wintery horror is right up my alley) so it was nice to finally get around to watching it.

Last TV Show: 'The Outlaws' (BBC), which was a fucking amazing show. Not only was it as funny as it was thrilling, it had not one but two separate platonic male/female friendships! Big fan of those, me, and of character growth, which there was aplenty. The simplest way I can describe the show's plot is 'found family do crime, fail upwards in exceedingly elaborate and impressive ways, and grow as people together'. I highly recommend.

Sweet/spicy/savoury: Sweet tooth all the way baby.

Last thing I googled: Was 'faerie research references' to help with the fic I'm currently writing, which you'll hopefully be seeing very soon ;). 

Current Obsessions: Gravity Falls, and Dungeons & Dragons (but in a 'living vicariously through actual plays' kind of way because I can't play in person with any of my friends; curse the distance that separates us!😭).

Looking Forward to: Flying up to Sydney early next year, not just to see my beloved friends but also to go to a friend's wedding (🥳🥳🥳), the DnD Twenty-Sided Tavern show at the Sydney Opera House (which is also my first time going inside the Opera House! huzzah!), and perhaps even the Hadestown musical too. I'm very excited!! :D

[timextoxhajima]

Sonder: Part V [Final]

Parts: I II III IV V

member: enhypen heeseung! x oc! woo ki yeom [3rd person pov]

genre: coming of age, slice of life, angst, romance

w/c: 4k

taglist: @missychief1404 (i had this chapter written out months ago, but you're the reason why i decided to post it! thank you for reading <3)

warnings: topics on religion, distressed relationships, mental health (I want to leave an a/n here that I grew up with my maternal family being Buddhists so what I've written is based off what I researched online and the way her family practised Buddhism. I'm personally a free-tinker and this narrative is not in any way meant to offend nor support any particular religion.)

synopsis: after being kicked out of her home, Woo Ki Yeom is forced to live life on her own. struggling to find herself in the midst of her chaotic life, she meets lee heeseung, who, like her, can't give any more fucks to life than she does.

"n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own."

Author's Note:

Before you embark on the closing chapter of Sonder, I would first like to offer you a virtual hug! <3 Sonder is a love letter to all lost relationships (be it familial, friends, romantic). In the last few months of 2023, I lost a couple of friends whom I trusted. I'm still in the midst of healing and recovering from it.

Sonder started out as an angry rant when I felt anger from the falling out, but I couldn't bring myself to continue because at some point, I felt like this wasn't the right way to cope. I was still angry and hadn't come to terms with it. But the longer it took, the more I realised I just wanted to heal, and that things truly just happened. No amount of anger was going to undo what was done. They had apologised for the things they did, but I reacted by cutting them out, and I'm not sorry for it.

The chapter has ended, but the book doesn't.

I hope you have found comfort in Sonder, be it through the eyes of Ki Yeom who represents my anger and process of healing, or Heeseung, who is lost in life and has no direction. Perhaps through the eyes of Ji Yeon, who simply did what she thought was right but yet it wasn't, or Ki Yeom's father who had neglected to care for something when it was in need. Last but not least, Ahn Yoo Hyeon, who is my innate desire to be my own person, but cannot, due to the things that naturally bind her to her purpose in life.

I'm not sure when I will write again, or if I ever will, but if I were to leave one last story for my readers who have been with me for the last couple of years since my Capital Letters and Hostis days, I thought it was appropriate to write Sonder.

My ask is always open and I still do check Tumblr every day. I'll try my best to respond if any. I hope that my words, stories, and characters stick with my readers for years to come.

Writing for everybody has been an absolute pleasure.

With Love,

Dana

"So this is the million-dollar book!"

"She'll kill you if she knows you touched it."

"Have you?"

"I didn't touch it but she showed me once."

Gasp.

"Yeah, go through my things while you're packing," Ki Yeom pushes her way into her apartment, a folded box in hand.

"Jun Yeol touched it first."

"I was curious," He closes the book and places it on the table. "It doesn't kill to be a little curious where all your ideas are stored, is it? I can't believe you've shown it to Heeseung but not us!"

"In my defense, I'm rarely curious about her shit," Heeseung raises his hands in surrender and shrugs.

"Then how did you get her to show it to you?" Soo Min squints at him.

"I caught him snooping around my stuff so I caved and let him see it," Ki Yeom finally gets the folded box into shape and pulls out the tape.

Her colleagues' jaws drop as they scream 'unfair', rolling their eyes as they pick up the book to flip through it again.

Ki Yeom can hear their whispering as she packs her newly bought pot-and-pan and kitchenware, and it cracks a little smile on her lips, knowing that she would miss their voices and their bickering in the years she will be away.

In truth, she doesn't know if she would even be coming back.

They must think she's selfish for taking up the offer that their boss had offered her elsewhere and overseas, but even if they did think that, it's not her problem, is it?

She gets the box taped up and she stands up straight, turning around to see that they've gone back to helping her pack the rest of her things. But Heeseung was still, backfacing her, head looking down and his arms barely moving from where she could see him.

So, she walks over and tiptoes, trying her best to look over his shoulders without letting him know she was right behind him.

"Hard to believe this was six months ago."

Ki Yeom relaxes, rolling her eyes as she walks around him.

In his hands was the letter her father wrote her, with the wrong unit number written on the envelope.

"What can I say, time waits for no man," Ripping the letter out of his hands, she crumples it into a ball, playing basketball with it into the trash bag they had by the door.

As the ball of paper lands in the plastic, Ahn Yoo Hyeon appears by the door, purse hanging from her forearm and sunglasses pushed onto the crown of her head.

"I was wondering if they had taken the day off to come help you."

"Honestly, a waste of time!" Jun Yeol dramatically replies. "She has nothing."

"It's good to travel light where you're going anyway," Ahn Yoo Hyeon takes a deep breath and looks around the apartment. "Let me know if you need anything before you fly. I'll see you on Sunday at eight."

Then she turns around on her heels and leaves.

The funniest thing about the last six months is that Ki Yeom wondered how different it would have been if her 'arcs' had been spaced out or in the wrong sequence. How strange was it to have all the events lined up almost one after another?

Sometimes, just for fun, she would imagine if she hadn't met Heeseung, and her father hadn't written the wrong address. She wouldn't have met him because neither of them cared enough to talk to each other.

Imagine if Ji Yeon hadn't showed up. Ki Yeom knew for sure that nothing would've changed. Ji Yeon would still be texting her every now and then, begging her to hang out when she didn't want to.

Imagine if her father hadn't showed up either - Ki Yeom sometimes wonders if he's going to come back again, find out she's moved away, and think about where she's gone.

Then again, that's not her problem either, is it?

"You left a tissue in your machine last week, you know?" Mr Hsien nags at her the moment Ki Yeom appears in his line of sight.

"Sorry!" Placing her laundry bag down, Heeseung helps to push a token into her machine first. "I'll make sure to check this time round."

"You better. Else I'll charge you two times next week!"

Ki Yeom glances at Heeseung. A knowing smile.

"You're not gonna tell him?"

"What for?" She loads her clothes in, fingers digging into the pockets as she does. "He'll be more than happy I'm no longer using his washing machines. Besides, you'll be here to tell him."

"I'm not gonna have a conversation with him telling him where you've gone and why you're gone."

"Well, too bad."

After the washing machine starts its usual humming and vibrating, Ki Yeom sits next to him on the row of seats, listening to the TikTok and Instagram Reels play on his phone while she looks through the digital documents that the art organisation had emailed her.

Ki Yeom hadn't thought that four years of isolation and loneliness could be undone in just six months. Maybe 'undone' is the wrong word.

Though she must admit, she didn't know what she was waiting for. In hindsight, she wonders what it was like to aimlessly tear through each day. It wasn't even that long ago, so she does remember that feeling of emptiness. She wonders if that's the exact same feeling that Heeseung has been dealing with, and probably will have to for longer.

She considers herself lucky. That for her, this four-year chapter is coming to an end.

But it's bittersweet. There's nothing attractive about being in constant fear and worry of having someone unwanted showing up at your doorstep or leaving you messages, but it reminds you that someone out there is still looking for you. This knowledge that someone still gives a shit about you... that's the thing that's addictive and hard to let go of.

Sometimes, she wonders if this is a good thing. Even though she has closed the chapter with her parents and Ji Yeon, it meant that she no longer had a reason to be interlinked with them and vice versa. Her parents are just her parents now. Ji Yeon is now an ex-best friend.

She looks up from her phone and ever so slightly, turns to Heeseung, whose soul is quite literally in his phone screen.

There wasn't enough time.

To explore. This friendship.

Or whatever you called it.

Ki Yeom had never crushed on anybody. She wonders what it must feel like. She always does. She had watched Ji Yeon entertain the boys that ogled over her at school, but she never had one herself.

She recalls the first time she met Heeseung. She was uncouth. Rude, cold and nonchalant. Which boy would like that kind of girl?

She snickers to herself.

"What?" Heeseung asks without looking up from his phone. "The video wasn't even that funny."

"Nothing," Ki Yeom shakes her head. "Though, can I ask you something? Feel free to ignore me or change the subject if you can't answer."

Heeseung hums in response. He scrolls.

"What is it like to have a crush on someone? What's it like to... be in university?"

Such simple questions.

But Heeseung feels stumped. He knew Ki Yeom didn't have the luxury to attend university, but he never thought she would think and ask about it.

He stops and turns down the volume first, then locks his phone and puts it down in his lap.

"The second question's easier to answer. Depending on the crowd you hang out with, university is either a four-year-long party before you go into the working world or... where you go through your existential crises before you go into the working world."

"So either way, it's kind of a shitshow, just whether it's on the fun side or the depressing side?"

"Bingo," Heeseung snaps his fingers and points at her. "The first question, however... I think it's different for most of people. A crush could mean many things. Like an eye-candy, or just a periodic infatuation just 'cause the person's cool or pretty. Or it could be some love-at-first-sight shit that's genuine."

"Do you believe in that? Love at first sight?"

"No," Heeseung shakes his head and puckers his lips in thought. "I mean when you're younger, yeah. I had a crush when I was a kid. Liked her for a couple of years, even though she rejected me right at the start. But my perseverance got me a short run with her."

"'Short run'? How short?" Ki Yeom smiles.

"Like... three months."

"Wow," She laughs and scratches the back of her neck. "Three years for three months?"

"That's exactly what a friend of mine said."

"But you said that was when you were younger. What about recent times? Has it changed for you? I never... had the chance to like someone. When I was in high school with Ji Yeon, I was so caught up in finding myself... with my art and dealing with... being poor. Then not being able to go to college pretty much sealed the deal. My last chance to be a student and a kid and meet people and fall in love and have break-ups was in high school and I didn't know."

Heeseung squints at her. "I don't think that going through all that in high school is advised. I mean, yes, that's when everybody goes through all that, but like... usually it's stupid and messy."

"At least they have the privilege of going through something stupid and messy and not have to worry about... other things. I thought that's what being a teenager is about. Being obnoxiously ignorant about everything else... only thinking about the guy or girl you liked and whether they would ask you out on a date."

He tilts his head at her, eyes looking away as he thinks.

"I think you were destined to... lead a life that the regular person doesn't get to experience. I know how terrible and shit it sounds because it just sounds like I'm trying to comfort you, but I do think you're special. In a resilient and talented type of way. That you were pulled off the average, regular path, and forced onto a better, more rewarding one. Albeit tough."

"Risky game."

"I don't think that if you had spent just a single minute thinking about a guy or a girl... it would've been worth it. It's like asking a God to worry about what color I should dye my hair."

A pause. Ki Yeom nods, a gentle smile on her lips.

"Thank you. For putting it that way."

Another pause. Heeseung was thinking. Then he parts his lips, a breath coming out before a word does.

"For me, I take awhile to like a person. It doesn't come easy nowadays, especially that I'm busy trying to find life fun. But I think right now... I wouldn't know it. I think I would've liked someone without knowing, and then something would happen that made me realise I liked this person."

"So like, 'never knew it until you lost it' kind of concept?"

"Something like that."

Ki Yeom hums in response.

"What about you? I mean, hypothetically, what do you think you're like? If you had a crush?"

"Hm," She rests her elbow on her crossed leg, chin resting on her folded fingers. "I probably have a curse of some sort. All that talk about me being on a more special path would give me tunnel vision, to the point that even if I did like someone and I knew, I don't think I'd stop my life to entertain it."

And just like that.

For some reason, it felt like they had a whole other conversation without even having it. There's a strange, bubbly feeling in Ki Yeom's stomach when she realises how quiet it's gone, on top of the machines' whirring.

She turns to look at him, whose eyes are a little bit sad, like they had heard something he knew was coming, but didn't want to hear. They were flitting between hers, as if waiting for her to say something else.

He blinks, then turns to look at his hands, thumb running over the mild callouses that have formed from playing the piano. Then Heeseung turns back to her, head tilted and eyes unable to focus.

"In an alternate universe... maybe we'll meet in school. And... you'll be the nonchalant, quiet, I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything girl, and I might find it in myself to be curious about you... In a life that you didn't have to worry about your friends or the way you reacted, about your family or money. In a life where you could be 'obnoxiously ignorant'."

"In a life where I'd be your only problem. A crush that you wouldn't know how to fix or solve. Or maybe leave you with a heartbreak that would change your perspective of life and become a better person."

"I'll admit that I was worried. That I'd be the heartbroken one after you leave, knowing that you bought a one-way ticket and have no plans to return. But I'm no longer worried, because... I think I'd rather be heartbroken while you're still here."

By now he's looking at her, eyes slightly widened and glistening.

Ki Yeom's insides have been stretched, crushed and wringed, like towels on a spring cleaning day.

This gut-wrenching feeling felt all so familiar, and yet, so different.

Heeseung blinks and takes a deep breath, stretching as he leans back.

"I watched you fight your way out of your own life. Your own problems came knocking on your door and you somehow pushed through all those chapters and mishaps and everything. I was not going to be the person who confessed and made you feel like you had to stay."

Then he turns and looks at her, eyes still full of wander despite everything he's seen her go through.

"But now that I know how you feel and what you think, I'm thankful that... You care about yourself. I'm glad that you are the I-don't-give-a-shit-about-anything girl."

"You know sometimes I hate being that girl, don't you?"

"I know you do, but you are, and there's nothing wrong with it."

Ki Yeom frowns, trying to accept it; trying to accept herself; trying to accept that some chapters were never meant to be written. Some arcs were never meant to happen.

Perhaps this acceptance was an arc of itself.

In another life.

On the day Ahn Yoo Hyeon met Woo Ki Yeom, she was having a particularly horrid day. Coming from her, that was unusual. She would never know if it was fate or some kind of sign, but it was the first time in ten years that it rained on her brother's death anniversary.

Just earlier that morning, she had to brave the rain to get to the florist to pick up the flowers she had ordered. But not only was she almost completely drenched by the time she had gotten there, the florist had lost the order form and forgotten to make the bouquet.

Half her day had already been ruined, and she wasn't even at the cemetery.

But her brother's best friend, showed up like an angel, to the florist as she was making the bouquet in a frantic manner. It's normal to see people freeze and get uncomfortable when they meet Oh Jihoon, for he was absolutely covered in tattoos. This included his face, his ears, the inside of his lips and into corners of the body you couldn't see.

"She giving you a hard time?" Yoo Hyeon remembers him teasing her to the florist.

"My apologies! I lost the order form, but the moment she stepped in- I remembered that she had ordered it-"

"Take your time! We're not in a rush."

Yoo Hyeon turns to him, brows furrowed. She lifts her sunglasses and glares at her with those angry orbs that her brother had as well.

"What?" He sits on a nearby stool, holding his phone between his thumb and index finger and gestures out the shop. "Take a look at the weather, would you? You're gonna make her wrap the bouquet up nicely then let it soak and drown in the rain?"

She huffs, wanting to retort but having nothing to say.

"How's the parlour going? Last you told me, you hired a couple of youngsters?"

She glares at him once more, then puts her glasses back on when she decides that he's right.

"The girl's a tomboy gangster and the boy's a gay unicorn. Funnily enough, they seem close."

Jihoon laughs boisterously. Yoo Hyeon can hear her brother's laughter in his.

"You sayin' that he's gay because you know for a fact?"

"He's got bright pink hair dyed down to his roots, and he talks like a girl."

"Hey, now," Jihoon raises both palms and chuckles.

"I think I know when I see a gay man. Plus, I say that with zero offence. What's wrong with calling someone gay if it's just an observation?"

"Ah- There's the education talking," He pauses, finger playing with the piercings on his ears. "You sound like your brother."

"Shocker."

"You know, back in the day-"

By the time Yoo Hyeon had finished rolling her eyes at Jihoon's throwback, the florist had finished wrapping up the bouquet and apologised for the hundredth time. Initially rejecting the payment, Yoo Hyeon knew better than to refuse the service, handing her a hundred dollar bill and telling her to keep the change.

Jihoon had given her a soft 'ooh' in a bid to praise her coolness, and honestly? Yoo Hyeon could barely hide the smile.

The cemetery was about a thirty minutes drive out of the city.

"I always wondered what he'd be doing. Like what would he be working as? Would he be married and have kids?"

"No clue. But, honestly? Maybe zookeeper," He places both hands on the steering wheel as he turns down the winding path, rain drenching the windshield despite the wipers clearing it every second. "Suits him. Not having to wear office attires or deal with people. Married with kids? Not sure. Depends on whether he knocked someone up by accident."

Yoo Hyeon smiles to herself, eyes watching as the trees blur past and the city's skyline blending into the mountains behind.

"Anyway, your interview. You just had one recently, didn't you? For a touring art organisation?" She turns to him.

"Yeah. I'm still waiting on the results but I think I'm gonna get it."

"And when you do, you would have to move?"

"Seasonally, yeah. I guess I'd be spending months overseas, at a time."

"So, you wouldn't be here? On some years?"

Jihoon goes quiet. "Maybe. But you know I'll try my best to come back."

She hums in response. "It'd be different without you here."

"I know, but you know... One of the last things he told me was to never look back. He always told me that the damage had been done, so what for writhe in your own shit and cry about it? Don't think he'd be all that pleased if he knew we were fussing about him. In fact, sometimes when we visit him... he might not even be there."

Now, Yoo Hyeon can't stifle the laugh that comes out.

Later that day, Jihoon had wanted to drop her off at home, knowing that she was drenched that morning and knowing that it wasn't an easy day for her. But something in her told her to go back to the parlour. For whatever reason it was, she would never know.

But grief works in strange ways.

Yoo Hyeon knew that, to some, it was a stretch to think that her brother was the one who led her to Ki Yeom, who was starving and had obviously cried her eyes out when she found her down the street from the parlor, hiding herself from the rain.

But she will always think it was, because it was comforting to think that perhaps, her brother was watching over her, and even the people who might need her help.

She doesn't know why she hired Ki Yeom so quickly. She doesn't know why she felt the need to help her find accommodation. She doesn't know why she felt like she saw something in Ki Yeom, that would lead her to this very moment.

At the airport. Seeing her off. Into Jihoon's care where she will most likely blossom into a whole other person artistically.

"Jihoon's abit weird when you first meet him, but don't mind it. He's covered in tattoos and that's the only thing that's scary about him. Otherwise, he's a loser," She pulls off her glasses and folds the arms inwards.

Ki Yeom smiles and nods, hugging her jacket in her arms.

"Thank you, Ms Ahn. For taking care of me, ever since we met. I really wouldn't be here without you. I mean it. And it's true. Nothing can refute it."

The older takes a deep breath and raises a brow, "You have my brother to thank for that. He's dead, but I'd like to think he was there the day I found you on that street. Jihoon will tell you more when you get there."

Something in Ki Yeom turns sad and sour as she processed Yoo Hyeon's words. She purses her lips, offering a small smile.

"If you ever come back, I expect you to return."

"Of course."

Yoo Hyeon nods with intention, and slides her sunglasses back on.

Ki Yeom turns around, in her peripheral vision, noticing Soo Min and Jun Yeol getting into another bicker as Heeseung approaches her.

He sucks in a deep breath and shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders shrugged up to his ears.

"New arc, new season."

She smiles, turning to look at the gate into the departure hall.

"It was nice... being a character in one of your seasons."

A knowing exchange of looks. Ki Yeom doesn't know what to say. Heeseung doesn't either. What else is there left to say?

"Will you hate me if I end up treating you like Ji Yeon?"

Heeseung parts his lips and frowns, then a smile creeps up on his lips. "Maybe. But you know what? I don't think I'd blame you. I'm just... a character in a season."

Ki Yeom takes a deep breath, and reaches out to wrap her arms around him, pressing her head into his collar and shutting her eyes.

"You'll be the character that everybody shipped me with, but never got together, and would write fanfics or canons about us if we happened."

She can hear him chuckle in his chest as he returns the hug. He intentionally lowers his head and nearer to her ear, "Accurate canon."

For the first time in Ki Yeom's life, she felt truly free.

Free from all the things that kept her here, free from all her worries and concerns. She was now going to live the life of one of those girls online, talking about how they moved abroad to work and explore a new culture and lead a new life. Ironically, she worried if she was going become one of those girls.

But even if she did, it's not her problem.

Is it?

[lesbian-disaster-academic]

hi!! I really love your blog🥹🥹if it’s okay with you, can you give me some advices how to wire a good essay? I am really struggling maybe due to adhd or is it just because of me it just seems really hard and I would REALLY appreciate your advice (no pressure ❤️) thank you, have a nice day!!❤️

Hi! Thank you so much! This is such a good question, and I'd be happy to help you out as best I can! First of all, I completely empathize with you! Essays can be really tricky, and it takes some practice to get a hang of it. I know how frustrating it can be (cut-scene to me lying on the floor, curled up in a ball and on the verge of tears because I can't get the words to go), but try to be kind to yourself! Take breaks and ask for help when you need it! And remember to eat and stay hydrated! Very important!

Secondly, I'm situating this within the framework of the dominant education system within the West (as that's what I'm most familiar with). I don't necessarily agree with all of these points (e.g., what is considered "credible" according to dominant settler-colonial educational institutions is grounded in eurocentric, classist, racist, sexist, etc. ideologies, which exclude very valuable and important forms of knowledge and learning). Regardless, this advice should hopefully help you write within that general framework! Good luck, anon!

STEP ONE: GETTING STARTED

If you have trouble focusing (as I do!), there are a couple of tricks you can try! These won't work for everyone, and they might not work all the time, but I like to give them a shot when I feel like I'm at a dead-end. BODY-DOUBLING: Get someone to sit with you while you're doing your work. Alternatively, I've heard that joining a "study with me" livestream can help make your brain get into that "writing" mode.

FAKE IT 'TIL YOU MAKE IT: Pretend you're someone else. I know it sounds silly, but bear with me for a moment. When I can't focus, I pretend I'm a world-class scholar who's working on her great manuscript (even though, in reality, I'm some sleep-deprived dumbass scrawling an essay at three in the morning). This can help to shift your perception and give you motivation to keep going

CHANGE IT UP: ADHD brains thrive on novelty. Try switching up your environment a little bit. Sometimes, it helps me to work on the opposite end of my desk. Occasionally, I'll even grab my laptop and sit UNDER my desk, just to add some variety and try to kick my brain into gear.

STEP TWO: BRAINSTORMING

Okay, so you're ready to go! Great! We want to come up with some ideas for the essay! I usually like to do this by making a mind map. I'm very tired, so here's a rough sketch of what it might look like!

And a quick example (again, I'm very tired, so this is just the skeleton, sorry)!

STEP THREE: RESEARCHING

Depending on how you like to structure your brainstorming, this can either come before or after step two! Either way, when you're doing research, you want to look for a few key things in your sources. I'll list some of them here

How recent is this information? If it's something like a historical or literary essay, of course primary sources are best, so it's okay to use very old documents! However, if we're writing a scientific research paper, we want to use more up-to-date info.

Is the author an expert in what they're discussing? Look at their credentials.

What is the purpose of the information? Is the source trying to teach us something, or is it trying to sell us something?

Try using Google Scholar! The "Advanced Search" settings can be particularly helpful!

STEP FOUR: OUTLINING

Now we have all our information, and we have an idea of what we'd like to say! Try placing it in an outline, such as the one I created below (Sorry, this is a very incomplete outline. Again. Very very tired. On the verge of falling asleep as I'm writing this lol). Please note that this outline is more for generating a basic idea of what you want to say. Post-secondary education (at least where I live) doesn't rely on this format as much, so take my advice with a grain of salt.

STEP FIVE: DRAFTING

Time for your first draft! Try putting everything together into one document! Remember: it doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to get written. I'll add some pointers below!

Remember to use transitional terms/phrases. For instance, "however", "then", "first", "therefore", "in conclusion"! These help your writing flow smoothly!

Spellcheck. I'm a professional author, and even I mess up my spelling from time to time, so I treat spellcheck as a dear friend lol.

Always remember to format your proof as a sandwich. The intro to your proof is like the bread, the quote/proof/statistic is the filling, and the explanation and elaboration is the other piece of bread. This will help to structure your writing!

STEP SIX: EDITING

Yay, you made it! Time to edit! You can get someone to read over your work! You can also use a checklist, such as the one I've included below!

(full checklist)

Okay, that's about it! On a final note, REMEMBER TO CITE YOUR SOURCES! Google Docs has a built-in citation tool, if that helps! Software like Zotero can also be great, but my go-to is always Purdue OWL.

If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask!

[ink-flavored]

❤️️ ❤️️ ❤️️ ❤️️ ❤️️ 👀👀👀

ooOOooo five hearts, i guess i'll ramble about 5 different WIPs!!

❤️️ part 1: Pride & Justice

I've been stewing Lust's backstory in my mind for a while, I want to make it a character intro at some point. Same thing with Honesty, but I'm having a harder time with Lust's because like... I want to make sure it's a well-rounded character so I don't trip into all the various pitfalls having an antagonist who represents the concept of lust brings. It's abusive and shitty, but I want it to be clear that it's choosing to be this way—and it was also taught to be this shitty through circumstance and its own trauma, just like how Pride was. I also think doing a full backstory will help me write it better, I'll know what I'm doing with it's character better than I currently do. I've also decided we're going to meet Chris (from the book club) before Lust, so my first it/its character isn't the evil one.

❤️️ part 2: Tales from Athendrolyn

November is coming up, so I'm VERY excited to do my little Anthology Blast plan!!! I've been especially excited to write the little gargoyle adoption prompt—I haven't had the idea as long as some of the other prompts, but ever since I came up with it, I've been obsessed. I know I want to have multiple volumes of my anthologies so I can just keep coming up with prompts forever, and I may end up bringing this gargoyle-carving character back at some point. I love her.

❤️️ part 3: Athendrolyn After Dark

One of the prompts (not one of the ones I'll write in November, but still) is about a FWB pair that take love potions to Enhance their sex life, and I've been thinking about the culture surrounding love potions in this world now. For the prompt itself, I'm treating it like an intox kink, almost? It's like having sex while you're high, but the "high" is "immediately falling in love with whoever you're looking at." So would these things be legal? Do you have to make them yourself, is the recipe underground? Is it like.. a drug that in smaller doses is used for a genuine medical purpose, but when you take a lot of it you get stoned like this? So many questions brought up by this one prompt that I won't even be able to fit into the short story itself, but now I Have to think about it.

❤️️ part 4: Unnamed Dream WIP

I've known for a while now that I want Asim to have regular correspondence with Mira while he's in the city, because I don't want to give him a sister and immediately write her out for the rest of the book, yknow? He talks about how his research is going, she talks about how she's adjusting to being the Speaker for their village. He might send money back... if he's getting paid at all? Still unclear about what's going on with that. Probably getting a research stipend or something.

I just like when there are siblings!!! With a good relationship! I think it's weird when people are like "all siblings fight and hate each other" because... I've always had a great relationship with my sibling? So I want to write more siblings that reflect my experience

❤️️ part 5: New Poetry Collection?

I know that isn't a techincally WIP but you can't stop me

I was thinking the other day about how many poetry collections are about how beautiful nature is, the natural world, how many poets are from rural backgrounds, and how many of them returned to the country from the city which is when they wrote their most critically acclaimed works etc. but like.... I love living in the city.

I lived in the suburbs most of my life, and now that I live in Chicago I can say with 100% certainty this is my preferred biome (I do wish it was warmer year-round but other than that). I love the city, I think it's just as beautiful and worthy of poetry as nature and rural areas. I dunno, I've been tossing around the idea of a poetry collection just based on how much I love the city. I think it would be neat

[send me a ❤️️ and let me ramble]