#i do doubt that they would volunteer to say those things about their friend who almost died

[takkamek]

"Why would Elira, Vox and Ike agree to that stream?" because of their contracts, their livelyhoods depend on nijiEN and it's clear that despite everything, there were some good times. not agreeing to it could mean that they get terminated (depending on what their contracts say)

"How could nijisanji think that stream was a good idea?" because they're a company and they chose the three well-liked people of the community, who also were stated in the document that wasn't meant to be seen by anyone else than the lawyers.

Vox, Ike, Elira, the other nijiEN livers weren't meant to see that document, legally they shouldn't have but now they know which will undoubtedly create a rift between Doki and the remaining nijiEN livers--which will benefit nijisanji in the court if the other livers now refuse to side with Doki in court

the fans were already divided, even after Doki herself said that she wants to move on and not to harass or bully the livers, the haters/antis didn't want to stop since this gave them 'a reason' to harass the livers they already hated. and now with nijiEN sharing parts of the document, fans are even more up and arms about this.

i'm not saying that nijisaji is this mastermind/manipulator company, but they're a company nontheless whose main priority is to win this legal battle. and a black company is always willing to sacrifice its employees

[on-leatheredwings]

request: "how dick would handle learning reader is dating somebody?"

Yandere! Dick Grayson / GN! Reader > romantic > tw/cw: possessive thoughts, suggestive thoughts > word count: 660

Dick is 100% going to sabotage it. 

He had been so excited to spend the night with you – even if it is still entirely platonic. A movie with friendly snuggles was better than no movie and no snuggles, right? 

The snacks are classic theater popcorn, sour candies, chips, soda. The theater is your bedroom. A mountain of pillows and blankets are your recliners for the evening. Premium comfort. 

Following the plot of the movie goes out the window once your head drifts sleepily onto his shoulder halfway through the film. Dick tempts fate by reaching his arm around you. He feels jitters when you don’t protest, seemingly agreeable to the contact. You don’t even move once the movie credits start to play. 

It’s a good night so far. A great night.

Then you speak. 

“Oh!” you snap your head to him. Dick does the same, heart jumping with surprise. Snuggling had put him nearly in a tranquilized state. You sit up out of his grasp, and leave him cold and wanting. “You’re always talking about how I should get the house… Well, I forgot to say earlier, but I’m kind of seeing that cute pizza guy I told you about!” 

Dick just stares at you, a smile frozen on his face.

“Oh! That’s awesome!” he says. To his grief, you begin to tell him all about it. “Uh huh. Mm hmm.” he says to your gushing. It was lucky that you were so enamored with your daydreaming that you couldn’t notice his robotic nodding or the displeased glint of his eyes. Dick knew this day may come – you finding someone before he’s ready to pursue you. There are admittedly some things he enjoys about being your friend rather than your lover. Majority of it is feeling like he’s undercover, playing a cat-and-mouse game you aren’t even aware of. But that doesn’t mean you won’t feel attraction to someone else. So Dick has a plan.

The first order of business is making the target of your affection look as incapable as possible. That’s not hard. He is Dick Grayson. He is five-ten and 177 pounds of capable. Most people pale in comparison. He’ljust be a little suggestion, here and there.

“Oh, he’s not treating you to dinner? Well, fuck those stuffy, traditional roles, amirite?” 

“That’s where you had your first date? … He’s really thrifty.” 

“Wait, he volunteers re-socializing homeless abused puppies only once a week? I figured we all make time for it at least every weekday.”

He just needs to plant the seeds of doubt. Give you what people call, ‘the Ick.’ Once you break it off with that guy, surely, you’ll be feeling the temptation of bouncing to someone new. But who…?

That part’s the easy part. (Actually, it’s all pretty easy for him.) Dick will get you to notice just how great he is. He’s charming. And handsome. And rich. And flexible. He just needs to take you out to swim, or skating, or the gym, or the park – anything that would enable him to slide his hands across you. He can already imagine lengthening your arm, putting it gingerly in the right position. He can imagine the sweat beading on your temple. He can imagine your lip bite as you struggle to ignore his chest against your back as he stretches you out.

Dick relaxes, leaning back. He still offers vague commentary in the conversation, but his mind is racing with many other possibilities. Your body. His body. Together.

“But enough about that!” you say finally. “Let’s put on another movie.” Your brow raises cheekily. “Horror movie? And first one to scream owes the other twenty bucks?” 

“I’ll take that bet,” Dick hums. 

At your clear excitement, he feels his cheeks warm. He admires how the blue light of the TV screen reflects in your gorgeous eyes. Maybe he’ll let you win anyway, if only because he loves the look on your face when you do.

[thefatesofspring]

No surprise here but rhysand is a big fat liar especially between books 1 & 2

Currently sat at my desk just remembering little random things about ACOTAR & then seeing my post from yesterday about Rhysand, Feyre & Tamlin UTM & it struck me that he lied through his damn teeth about Tamlin’s magic in ACOMAF

Basically remember how in ACOMAF Rhysand says to Feyre that the reason he was doing all of that to Feyre was to get Tamlin angry enough that his wrath/rage/magic would explode thus killing Amarantha…well Rhysand goes on to say that no force in the world can go up against Tamlin’s wrath & I’m sat here thinking “hang on a minute…Tamlin didn’t have access to his magic whilst UTM so how can you be doing all those heinous things to Feyre (drugging & SA’ing) to get Tamlin angry enough to kill Amarantha when he didn’t have his magic & was no doubt on some magical leash to Amarantha”

His reasoning then changes to because he didn’t want Feyre to remember her suffering, didn’t want her to break & crumble in front of Amarantha…so which one is the actual reason pookie? I get that 2 things can be true at the same time but Rhysand legit only ever originally gave Feyre 1 reason which was to get under Tamlin’s skin & he states that as clear as day in book 1 but then in book 2 that’s when he says he does it because he doesn’t want to see her fall apart…

He then goes on to say Tamlin did nothing for 50yrs accept sit on his ass & accept his fate when both he & Feyre know that isn’t true!

Lucien legit told Feyre that Tamlin had no choice but to send his friends out to die/they willingly volunteered to sacrifice themselves to try & break the curse & TAMLIN FELT IT EVERY SINGLE TIME THEY WERE KILLED!!! Not only that but Rhysand was the one who not only sat on his ass whoring himself out to Amarantha but helped torture, kill & maim innocent fae, he did that for 50yrs & had NOTHING to show for it, no information on how to bring her down, no leverage, NO NOTHING!

Rhysand’s ability to lie & manipulate is astonishing & Feyre’s ability to accept said lie & manipulation as well as her ability to “forget” the actual facts she’s been told BEFORE the lies began is even more astonishing

[cordycepsfem]

So my girlfriend and I went to our local Pride event today, one that I’ve written about previously here.

I did not want to go. This is because I am new-task-avoidant, and Pride was on one day of my usually tightly-hoarded weekend. But she asked that I go and meet some of her friends from her volunteering group so I said sure.

Meeting her friends was great - they’re fun and welcoming people from a variety of backgrounds, and I’m glad we did that. I hope we can spend time with them again soon.

Then we go out to the actual festival part. It is loud. There are people everywhere. This is unsurprising because it is a pride event in a major city. As people we are not fond of loud, crowded events… but we made the effort to get here so we’re going to go through it.

So we start walking.

As we make our way through the crowds I realize that the two of us are some of the more conservative-looking individuals there. We’re in T-shirts, shorts, baseball caps, functional shoes. There are many, many people in what we on here are all familiar with as “queer” costuming - it’s loud, it’s ugly, and it’s adorned with pins and stickers demanding attention. Many people have giant flags around their necks.

We see booths with obviously female individuals selling merchandise emblazoned with “f*ggot” doing a robust business. Lots of apparel and accessories that scream “I have an identity and I’m here to make it your problem!!” One booth has a pin showing a mastectomy-scarred chest reading “the no-titty committee” which causes me to let out a sad noise, because sure enough I’ve seen at least ten individuals with bare chests and some awful mastectomy scars wandering around. Some have glitter or fancy tape adoring their scars. Others have very obvious “dog ears” which look sloppy and painful.

(Note: I am not saying that having scars is awful. I am saying that the way the incisions were made was imprecise, leaving scars that are larger and that look worse as compared to, like, an actually good surgeon performing a regulated procedure with a standardized course, and not a “gender medicine professional.” This is obviously my own bias from doing research and from seeing others “in the wild” and should only be taken as my opinion. I have plenty of scars; the surgical ones all look clean and well-executed. These did not.)

We keep walking. There were at least two furry booths. Lots of people in puppy masks. Plenty of trans-focused groups.

We buy a few things at some of the more relevant booths and I stop to talk to one group about a job. My girlfriend says she’s ready to go, so we cut around the rest of the park and head for a nearby bookstore.

As we’re walking she takes my hand. “That pride wasn’t for us.”

“No.”

“I don’t know who it was for, but it wasn’t for us.”

I said “I told you so” in the kindest of voices but it was really just sad. This event and so many others happening this month are no longer for actual LGBT people. They are a celebration of the commodification of “queer” identity. Were there some booths there with people doing good work for those in our communities? Yes, without a doubt. But was there a bigger contingent of people there to give a “fuck you” to the world? Yep.

The first Pride events were to show straight people that LGBT people were not sexual deviants. Now the sexual deviants have booths at the Pride events.

I would just like a lesbian event. Just women. I’m willing to start it and run it. Girlfriend was so excited to go to Pride, and I think she left more disappointed than anything else. There are no longer a lot of “normies” at Pride. They have to be somewhere, so where?

[lightandfellowship]

When the Master of Masters told Xehanort that “Human emotions are complex. For example, what you feel toward someone you love isn’t always good or well-meaning. It can be a false kind of light. Which begs the question: are these messy feelings that emerge from love still light? Or are they darkness?”, and then Xehanort responds with “Whoa, where did that come from?” I think the MoM was perhaps talking about Eraqus here in an effort to manipulate Xehanort. (Perhaps an obvious observation to make, but I have stuff to say about it.)

The MoM almost NEVER volunteers information about himself (unless he's talking to Luxu), and he’s way too much of a smooth talker to ever do it on accident either, so I don’t think he was referring to some event of his past or speaking from personal experience here. And since the MoM is a master manipulator who effortlessly turns people’s confidence and comraderie into insecurity and distrust, this means that the “example” he provided here was likely very specific, very targeted, and very intentional.

Think about the scene where Eraqus tells Xehanort that his dream is to be a beacon of light that can lead people out of the darkness, and then proceeds to use Xehanort as an example of someone who might need saving one day. Think about how Xehanort responds positively to this, saying it’s the perfect dream for Eraqus and then thanking Eraqus for always being there for him. For someone who’s supposed to one day dive into the darkness on purpose, he seems perfectly content with the idea of his friend coming to his rescue and pulling him out of it. So what happened? What changed Xehanort’s mind?

(Keep in mind that this scene takes place in Xehanort and Eraqus' classroom where No Name is hanging on the wall. The Gazing Eye would have witnessed this conversation, and thus the MoM likely knows how much of a threat Eraqus is.)

If the MoM’s goal is to ensure that Xehanort sticks to his “dark road” no matter what, then extinguishing the light that threatens to guide Xehanort off of that path would be essential to his plan. And his first step in doing that would be to sow seeds of doubt in Xehanort’s heart about Eraqus’ true intentions by subtly manipulating Xehanort’s worldview, using what Xehanort witnessed between Hoder and Baldr as the soil. Small, little doubts that would lie dormant in Xehanort’s heart until nourished by some major event.

Doubts like: maybe your friend’s love for you isn’t pure. Maybe it’s tainted by some dark emotion. Maybe you can’t trust him. Maybe he’ll never understand you. Maybe he’s destined to stand in your way. Maybe he never wanted what was best for you. Maybe he has some ulterior motive for being your friend. Maybe he’s deluded himself into thinking he’s a good person. Maybe he would grow to hate you if he knew of the darkness in your heart. Maybe he’s only holding you back. Maybe you should leave him behind. Maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if you took his life one day.

Think about the conclusion Xehanort arrived at after his "world tour". "[People] believe themselves to be moral and virtuous, but it's all an act. Darkness lurks in the pit of everyone's heart. Their light is a total farce."

Seven years after the events of the game and five years after Eraqus and Xehanort’s discussion about their dreams, the two turn their Keyblades on each other for the first time, and Xehanort asks “Do you stand in my way as a true Keyblade Master?” to which Eraqus corrects him “No. As a true friend.” Despite Eraqus doing exactly what he said he was going to do all those years ago (become a beacon to lead Xehanort out of the darkness), Xehanort fails to recognize Eraqus’ opposition as an act of love, almost as if he no longer believes that Eraqus is truly doing this for his sake—no, Eraqus is merely performing his duty as a Keyblade Master.

I imagine this clash is the moment when all of those doubts that the MoM planted in Xehanort’s heart begin to sprout, and over time will grow, and grow, and grow, until Eraqus’ light can no longer reach Xehanort’s heart through all the thorns.

“Are these messy feelings that emerge from love still light? Or are they darkness?” And if you think about it, Eraqus’ general mentality of “I’m the righteous one and I know what’s best for you and you shall conform to my beliefs or suffer the consequences” is a sort of twisted, not-pure-darkness-not-pure-light kind of love, isn’t it? A “false light”, like the MoM says. Someone so blinded by the light that he can’t see the shadows falling on his own heart.

One last thing, as well. Recall that Baldr tells Xehanort that when their lights (Hoder and Eraqus respectively) disappear, they lose their purpose and are swallowed by the void. So the game draws a direct correlation between Xehanort losing Eraqus and Xehanort falling to darkness. And sure, perhaps Eraqus never straight up dies like Hoder does, but Xehanort still lost Eraqus in a way, didn’t he?

(To clarify, this isn’t to say that Xehanort and Eraqus WOULDN’T have naturally drifted apart on their own if it weren’t for the MoM’s meddling, I’m just saying that if there WAS a chance that Eraqus could have prevented Xehanort’s fall to darkness, then the MoM made sure to stamp out that possibility ASAP before it had the opportunity to derail his plans.)

[hongcherry]

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc [SERIES TEASER]

"After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol's obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?"

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (afab)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst, smut; Unrequited enemies to lovers (lol), strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: [teaser] bantering, a mention of murder in a joking way

🍒 Word Count: [teaser] 417 | [full] well over 30k, chaptered

🍒 Release Date: August 2023

🍒 Author's Note: Eeep~ very nervous and excited to fully release this series! If you're interested in this story, please consider joining my taglist! ♥️ More info/tws/etc will be with the full fic.

Disclaimer: Text was slightly edited from the full story.

join the taglist!

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

When Seungcheol answers another question with a vague response, you can’t stop the groan from escaping your mouth.

“Are we playing twenty questions?” you exasperate, rolling your eyes. 

“We can,” Seungcheol says with a shrug. “You asked three already—more if you start from the time I sat down.”

Exhaling a deep breath, you put your forehead on the hand that’s propped on the table. The conversation is slowly draining your energy.

“Seungcheol,” you warn. You are not about to play a guessing game with this man. “Please.”

“Oh, so that word is in your vocabulary.”

“Yes. Would you like me to use it in a sentence?” you question, pitch raised as if you’re talking to a toddler. You lift your head to glare at him.

“Sure,” he smirks and leans forward. He still holds his hair back and this time, you can really see the way he is goading you.

“Please fuck off,” you grin widely. Your head tilts to the side as you push your arms together to act overly cute.

“Please make me,” he counters. The smirk he wears is still plastered on his lips.

“If we weren’t in public, I would,” you say, voice going back to normal as you relax your body—the cute act over.

“Oh? How?” he chuckles. From how he looks at you, you know his mind has gone elsewhere.

You push at the arm that is stretched across the table. “Because I would rather not get caught for murder, you pervert.”

Seungcheol laughs and sits back, letting his hair fall back into his eyes. It’s the first time you notice he has dimples. Your first impression is that they’re cute, but you quickly recall who they belonged to and shove that thought from your mind.

“Seokmin wanted to let you know he lost your card,” he finally discloses. “Asked if you could give him another.”

“If he lost a simple card, is he really reliable?” you sigh as you grab another from your purse.

“The good news is those stage lights are so big, he won’t be able to lose those,” he says, taking the card from your hand.

“Thankfully,” you mutter. “I hope you’re better than Seokmin at not losing things.”

“I’ll get this to him, don’t worry,” he replies and puts the card in his suit jacket before standing up. 

“Thanks for the talk,” he says as if you had a choice. “I’ll see you around.”

You would have doubted that, but you know that won’t be true.

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©️hongcherry // DO NOT REPOST OR MODIFY Please consider reblogging if you liked this work to show your support. Feedback/commentary is always welcomed.

[the-badger-mole]

The Volunteer: Part 2

The first day of volunteering at Hama's Haven went as well as could be expected. Zuko spent his four hour shift painting the stair wells of the building. There were only three floors, but they'd only painted about two and a half landings. The men that Zuko worked with were happy with the progress, though. They were friendly enough, despite his clear inexperience. They gave Zuko the nickname Splotch because of how messy his painting skills were.

"Good thing we have drop cloth down," said the man named Due. He gave Zuko a good natured slap on the back and offered him a can of beer.

"Um...no thanks," Zuko declined politely. "I'm underaged. And it's kind of the reason I'm here in the first place." Due and the other men laughed heartily at him, and Zuko was given another round of back slaps to seal their newfound camaraderie. They would finish the paint job, they told him, the following day. Then the next week, when he returned, they would take on the second set of stairs in the middle of the building.

"See ya, Splotch!" they called after Zuko as he went to go find Azula and the others.

It was a bit later than he realized. Without a doubt, Azula and her friends would be at the front desk or the car already, and furious with him for making them stay in that building. Zuko hurried down the stairs and through the hall towards the front desk. It was only his quick reflexes that kept him from crashing into Katara and her brother as he rounded the last corner.

"Sorry," Zuko mumbled.

"Hey! I know you," Sokka said. "You're that jerk from my physics class! The one who ruined spring break by reminding Mr. Piando that he didn't give the assignment. You volunteer here now?"

"He's with the group the judge sent over," Katara told her brother.

"What?" Sokka laughed. "Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes? What did you do to get sentenced to community service? Let me guess, public mopery? Brooding with intent to skulk? Did you scowl at the wrong cop?"

"They're in for arson," Katara supplied, eyeing Zuko with disapproval.

"That's none of your business," Zuko growled at her.

"Get out!" Sokka gaped at him. "Arson? Seriously?"

"You are literally the only one who doesn't know that." Katara rolled her eyes at her brother. Sokk, still unfazed, just shook his head and let out a low whistle.

"Dude...when you rebel, you go hard, huh?"

"It wasn't like that!" Zuko insisted. "Look, I've got to go." He took off down the hall towards the front desk.

"Alright," Sokka called after him. "But you stay out of trouble. No more arson around!" Zuko could hear him laughing at his own joke.

Idiot, Zuko thought rolling his eyes to himself. He stopped at the front desk to make sure Hakoda got his hours logged.

"You sister and friends are waiting for you outside," he told Zuko. There was a tightness in Hakoda's face that made it clear that it would be a good idea for them not to linger. Zuko thanked Hakoda quietly and hurried out.

As he anticipated, Azula was in an even fouler mood than she was when they got there. She was standing outside of the car with Mai and Ty Lee ranting about her day. Mai, who had been assigned to work with her also looked unhappy, but she at least seethed silently.

"I should sue this place!" Azula was saying as Zuko approached. "I'm covered in whatever was rotting in those bins. My shirt is ruined, and that useless, smug knuckle dragger just laughed at me! My dad with tear this place to the ground. When he is done, there won't be anyplace for the rats infesting this place to hide!" Zuko was taken aback by is sister's vitriol.

"Let's get home," Zuko said, glancing around the parking lot. Fortunately, no one was in the immediate area to hear his sister's tirade. She looked at him and scowled.

"What took you so long?" she demanded. "We've been waiting for you to leave this disgusting place for ages!"

"It's only been a few minutes, Azula," Ty Lee interjected timidly. Azula rounded on her with a sneer.

"I'm sure you wouldn't mind staying, would you?" Azula spat at her friend. "Made a lot of good friends in the kitchen? Why don't you ask if there's a spare room. I'm sure they'd be happy to let you stay." Ty Lee shrank back, biting her lips against the tears that were about to fall. Azula just rolled her eyes and huffed in disgust. She turned and got into the car, taking the front seat this time.

"Zuko's going to be cramped in the backseat," Mai said.

"He can deal with it for twenty minutes," Azula snapped. "Shut up and get us out of here." Zuko slid into the backseat without a word. Azula moved the seat up a few inches so that Zuko at least had room to get in, but that was it. Azula continued ranting the entire drive, coming up with some particularly creative and vicious names for Hakoda, the staff and the residents of Hama's Haven. Her brother and friends just let her go. Mai interjected occasionally with some snide remarks of her own, but she didn't have the energy for all out rage like her friend. Zuko did his best to tune them both out, and he politely ignored Ty Lee's subtly wiping away stray tears next to him. Not for the first time, Zuko wondered why the sensitive, bubbly girl was friends with Azula and Mai of all people, but he'd stopped searching for an answer to that years ago.

True to her word, Azula went into her father's home office and demanded that he get her out of her community service sentence. Zuko could hear her while he fixed himself a snack in the kitchen. Interestingly, he noted, she didn't mention a thing about getting him or her friends out of the mandated service. Not that it bothered Zuko. He'd already decided he didn't mind the work.

Ozai did end up calling the judge to demand that something be done for his daughter. Zuko heard it the next day. He'd forgotten to shut the door to his office completely, so Zuko was able to hear Ozai alternately threatening and cajoling Judge Jeong-Jeong to release Azula from her punishment. He offered bribes. He swore to get Jeong-Jeong removed from his bench and disbarred from practicing law anywhere. He offered to donate a ridiculous sum of money to the shelter, if Hakoda was removed from his position. Jeong-Jeong said little through the near hour-long call until the very end.

"Mr. Kaji," he began ponderously. "Firstly, I feel the need to remind you that bribing a judge is a federal offence, and this call is being recorded. Secondly, my ruling stands. It is only the generous intercession of your brother that kept your children and their friends from spending the next 8 to 13 months in a juvenile detention center. I feel I have been more than fair with my judgement, but if Azula would rather serve out her sentence in juvenile detention, I would be happy to arrange that."

Ozai swore and started to speak, but Jeong-Jeong cut him off.

"As for having Hakoda terminated," he continued. "He has been serving at that shelter since it opened, and he has never had a single complaint about how he runs it in all that time. I have no say in what happens there, but I sincerely doubt the board that oversees the operation of Hama's Haven would be willing to let him go on the say so of one disgruntled, mandated volunteer and her overly indulgent father. This is Azula's only option if she doesn't want to go to the juvenile detention center. If she refuses to honor her service hours, or if Hakoda dismisses her, that's exactly where she will end up. Am I clear, Mr. Kaji?"

"I'll find a way around this," Ozai promised.

"You are certainly welcome to try," Jeong-Jeong sounded amused. "I'm sure the additional scrutiny from the government won't affect you...much."

Ozai swore at the judge again, but again Jeong-Jeong cut him off.

"If there is nothing else, Mr. Kaji," he said. "I have better things to do than babysit your tantrum." The call ended abruptly, leaving Ozai to rage in his office to no one. Zuko took his book and crept towards the back stairs. It was better if he wasn't in his father's line of sight while he was in this mood.

He made it to his bedroom just as Ozai came out of his office and stormed up the main staircase. He shut his light out and stayed silent. Ozai, though, went straight to Azula's room. Zuko heard her door fly open and hit the door with a thud.

"What's your problem?" Azula snapped.

"You're going back to that pit and serving your hours," Ozai told her. "I don't want to hear another word out of you about it."

"But, Dad!" Azula protested.

"Not another word!" Ozai barked. Azula went silent. A moment later, Zuko heard the door slam shut and his father stomped down the stairs. Then he left the house, slamming the front door even harder than Azula's door. Zuko waited until he heard his father's car peeling out of the driveway to make his way carefully to Azula's room. He knocked at her door lightly, then poked his head in. Azula stood in the middle of the floor, absolutely seething with rage. Her dark glower got darker when she saw her brother.

"What do you want?" she hissed.

"Just checking to see if you're okay," Zuko said. He was. It was rare to see Ozai's anger aimed at Azula.

"Peachy," Azula snorted. "I just found out that Dad's connections are useless. Now I'm stuck either cleaning up after people i wouldn't let touch my rags or spending a year in jail."

"It's not that bad," Zuko said, shrugging. "Some of the people are pretty cool, once you get to know them." Azula shot her brother a disgusted look.

"I should've known you'd be fine there," she said. "What are you doing in my room, anyway? Get out!" She stormed across the room and slammed the door in Zuko's face. He just barely managed to keep his hand from being crushed. With one last scowl at Azula's door, Zuko decided he'd had enough of the house for a while. He took his car and drove off in the opposite direction of his father.

The next week of school was annoying. As Katara had implied, word of their sentencing had spread throughout the school. People stared and whispered as Zuko passed through the halls. Well, more than usual. It was annoying, but people were too intimidated by Zuko to say anything to his face, so he could ignore most of it. At lunch, Zuko headed towards his usual spot in the far corner of the cafeteria, but he was stopped half way by Sokka appearing at his side.

"Yo!" he greeted Zuko. "Come sit with us today. I'll introduce you to the rest of the Haven Crew."

"What?" Zuko's nose wrinkled in confusion. Sokka had already started walking, though. Zuko followed awkwardly to a table where Katara sat with three other people. Zuko recognized Suki, who was in the same martial arts club as him, but the other two- a boy with a tight fitting beanie and a girl Zuko was startled to realize was blind- he had no idea who they were. They looked like freshmen.

"Katara you know," Sokka said, pointing to his sister. "This is Toph and Aang. The babies of the group. And this beautiful, terrifying girl is Suki, my girlfriend of two years."

"We've met," Suki told Sokka. She smiled politely at Zuko. "Nice to see you again, Zuko."

"So," Toph drawled, leaning towards Zuko. "You're the guy who blew up a building."

"What?" Zuko sputtered. "I didn't blow anything up!"

"Whatever you say, Sparky," Toph grinned at him. "Hey! I'm not mad at you. There's a few building's I'd like to blow up. Starting with this one."

"Toph, don't say stuff like that!" Aang glanced around nervously, looking for a monitor or a lurking teacher.

"Nah, it was just arson," Sokka told his friends, grinning. "I didn't know he had it in him, though. Sit, down, Zuko. You can't eat standing up." Zuko eyed the open seat between Sokka and Aang hesitantly.

"Would you just sit down already?" Katara snapped irritably. "The seat isn't dirty." Zuko scowled at her, but sat down.

"Zuko and his accomplices are going to be working off their debt to society at the Haven," Sokka explained. "We'll be seeing a lot of him. Dad says they've got nine months of work to finish."

"Um...you all volunteer at the shelter?" Zuko asked.

"Yeah, we're all there at least a few times a month," Suki told him. "I do tutoring once a week."

"I help out in the garden." Aang grinned cheefully.

"Pottery and crap," Toph said.

"Crafts," Katara said. "You do pottery and crafts." Toph snorted at that.

"We made comb sheaths last month," she said. "I think crap is spot on."

"Toph," Katara let out a long suffering sigh and shook her head.

"So, Sparky," Toph turned back to Zuko with a smirk. "Why don't you tell us how you landed on the chain gang?"

"Toph!" Suki chided. "You can't just lead with that."

"Why not?" Toph demanded. "It's the most interesting thing to happen in this school all year!"

"Maybe he doesn't want to talk about it," Aang suggested, looking at Zuko nervously. Katara rolled her eyes, which bugged Zuko most of all for some reason.

"There isn't that much to tell," he said. "We got drunk at warehouse and my sister dropped a candle, or something into a box of tea leaves. The fire department put the fire out before there was a ton of damage." The finer details, Zuko decided, didn't matter.

"And that's why you always use a flashlight when you're drinking," Sokka said sagely.

"Or you could just not drink underage," Katara scoffed.

"Too easy." Sokka waved his sister off. And with that the topic moved onto something else. It was jarring. Zuko wasn't sure what he was expecting. An interrogation. Derision. Some sort of prank to humiliate him for daring to think they actually wanted him to sit with them. But the conversation turned to what they all had done over the weekend. Zuko had little to add there, and no one pressed. It was a pleasant lunch, all things considered. Sokka invited him to sit with them again the next day and the one after that. By the end of the week, Zuko joined them on his own, if a bit hesitantly. They welcomed him. Or rather, they didn't tell him to get lost. Zuko decided to count it as an open invitation.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

Hey, I'd love a matchup for Castlevania, if you're up for it (was not the person who wrote you those ask anons btw, although I appreciate them clearing things up).

I’m a heterosexual cis woman, although I’m starting to suspect I’m on the asexual spectrum. So, I'd prefer a male matchup. Also not super sure I'd be down with polygamy.

I'm a premed student (no time for irl dating unfortunately 😭). I also work as a volunteer EMS on weekends. Outside of my school and work my hobbies are singing (musical theatre and classical mostly), theatre (backstage work as well as performing), skiing (the only sport I’m any good at) and TTRPGs (was this close to getting my group to play a Castlevania campaign 😔).

I’m also a big nerd about history, American comics, and folklore. I’ll rant for hours about my special interests if nobody stops me. I’d describe myself as ambiverted. I'm socially awkward, but also very loud and expressive. I’m a bit oblivious, I’ll admit lol, but I do my best. My MBTI is ESTJ, and while I doubt MBTI's accuracy, I agree I’m very Type A. When it comes to the things I’m good at, I’m a major perfectionist, but I’m proud of how hard I work. I think my greatest weakness is probably thoughtlessness, but my greatest strength is humility.  My giving love language is acts of service, and my receiving love language is quality time. I'm verbally affectionate towards friends but I freeze like a deer in headlights if somebody flirts with me. Also: I know appearance isn’t super important, but I think it’s important to know I’m only around 5’0 tall. As my friends say, "headpat size."

A/N: Okay for you my PreMed Student Anon (that’s amazing, congratulations by the way!)I have two potential matches in mind. You said you’re heterosexual and would prefer male results, so I chose two from that gender because I honestly couldn’t decide which would please you best. For you, I’m thinking either Dracula or Alucard would be your perfect romantic matchups! (It really does just come down to which man you’d like better: father or son, lol.) 

Dracula (Vlad Tepes), as terrifying as he may be when he decides to enact justice on the human population, is a very reserved and intellectual man. He’s introverted and devoted much of his life to learning about anything and everything from medicine to history to poetry. 

In this instance let’s pretend he’s either never met Lisa or he did meet and fall in love with Lisa but she either lived a full life and died of natural causes, or Dracula was able to overcome the anger and blame he held for humanity following her murder.

Dracula is a patient man. Being immortal means he understands that you must dedicate much of your time to your studies and your volunteer work. So long as the few moments you do get to spend with him are uninterrupted and meaningful, I believe he’d be understanding, and even supportive of your academic endeavors. He was more than happy to aid Lisa in her quest to learn more about biology, so I have no doubt he’d do similarly for you. Any questions you have, he’d gladly answer them. Any resource he has in his castle, any book or scroll, any record of any kind is yours to inspect. He has no doubts that you’re going to make a very accomplished professional one day, and he has every intention of doing whatever it takes to help you get there.

Along with that patience comes an understanding that sex is not the end all be all in life. Sure, it has its place for either pleasure or reproduction but it doesn't need to dominate relationships. If sex is something you're hesitant about, or against having, it doesn't make much difference to him. Dracula would be fine without sleeping with you, so long as he can have you in other ways. Holding you close, holding your hand, sitting next to you in front of a warm fire- those things are what make him feel close to your heart. 

Dracula also enjoys how animated you get when you go on rants about your special interests. He’s very versed in history and folklore as well, although not American comics, so he would listen intently as you teach him all you know. 

As an ESTJ, you would be very grounding for him (an INTJ), while still having a great deal in common. The both of you value an intellectual connection in a relationship while your more empathetic, extroverted side would help push him to see the truth of humanity where he may previously have only seen things in shades of black and white. You both strive for the best, and that suits you just fine with your perfectionism, but do be warned, there may be times you don’t see eye to eye. What you hold as most important in an issue or debate may be different than what he holds. Remember to be patient. INTJs are prone to stubbornness, but being a Type A personality, I do not doubt that you’ll be able to handle any contrary moods of his just fine. 

Your thoughtlessness can also be a source of discourse within the relationship, as Dracula is bound to worry about you. You’re human, you're fragile and under so much pressure. He cares deeply for you and does not want to see you hurt. The one advantage you do have, however, is your humility. It keeps you from being both arrogant and thoughtless which is a much more dangerous combination. So long as you are aware enough of your limits, and keep your wits about you the best you can, Dracula promises to trust you enough to let you come and go as you need to, so long as you’re willing to admit when you need help. But with your best trait being your humility, that shouldn't be a problem. 

Dracula is so touched by your acts of service. Being such an ancient and scary vampire no one ever thought to make him tea or ask if he needed help with anything. He feels so fortunate to have a partner who does not see him solely as ‘Dracula’, Lord of Vampires, but as Vlad Tepes, a man at heart. 

Not to mention your size difference is too adorable for words. He’s so tall and you’re so tiny… He always kneels whenever you ask for a kiss, he’ll never ask you to step on a stool or climb a ladder to reach him. He’s more than happy to come to you. He loves you. You are his new light, his new reason to believe in humanity. 

Alucard (Adrian Tepes) could also be a good match for you! He’s an ambivert like you, although he may not admit it. He’s the son of a scholar and a doctor, so he’s very understanding when it comes to your education and career. And his empathetic nature makes him extremely compatible with your considerate one. 

As Alucard is a dhampir and immortal, this matchup could work in either medieval times or modern times. For the sake of this matchup, imagine whatever you might prefer. 

Alucard hasn’t always had the best experience when it comes to sex. Granted, you can’t judge every potential future experience based on one horrible one, but he’s not the kind of guy who jumps into bed easily. He has reservations and feels very insecure about the whole act. Should he ever engage in it, he’d need a partner who’s very understanding, or just as nervous as he is about the whole thing. In hindsight, I don’t think Alucard would mind not having all that much sex: for him, your continued company means more than any sexual endeavor could. 

Alucard is very impressed with your decision to go into pre med. He knows how much work that means you’re going to be undertaking, and he’ll do whatever he can to support you, either in your studies or in your personal life. He’s very well-read and rather educated on biology as his mother was a physician, so feel free to ask him any questions or have him quiz you before exams. He’s also a bit of an obsessive lover. When he decides he likes someone, he makes a point to memorize that person. (Recall the Trevor and Sypha dolls?) He wants to know what you think and why you think it. That way, he can anticipate your thoughts or needs. 

And he does quite enjoy it when you sing to him, especially if you sing him to sleep. Sleep hasn't always come easy to him, but with your presence and your lovely voice, it’s as if an angel is singing him a lullaby. I also believe Alucard would absolutely thrive playing TTRPG: he’s sarcastic, smart and strategic. I really think he’d dominate any campaign he set his mind to. Plus, it’d be great socialization for him besides you. 

As an ESTJ you’re fairly compatible with Alucard’s INFJ. You’re just extroverted enough to pull him out of his idealistic daydreams, but grounded and predictable enough not to shake his confidence or trust in you/your relationship. The only possible issue is that INFJs can sometimes get caught up in the fantastical destiny of it all: it’s about people and purpose. Whereas ESTJs tend to be a bit more practical- you value reality and stability a bit more than potential and daydreams. But I don’t envision this to be a huge problem, so long as you push communication with Alucard. He internalizes a lot. He’ll need to be reminded to share his inner feelings. So long as you do that, I don’t see any major discourse between you two. 

Alucard may be a little disappointed in your moments of thoughtlessness, but at the same time, he finds them endearing. You try so hard: you’re a perfectionist like he is, and even though you’re only human, you strive for the same greatness. It’s rather admirable. He likes that about you. 

Alucard would also be very touched by your acts of service, mainly because he often finds himself doing the service for others. It’s nice to be taken care of for a change. And he is very happy to spend quality time with you. He’d follow you everywhere if you let him. So long as he’s near you, he feels complete. He’s always leaning down to give you soft forehead kisses whenever you’re around. You’re so precious to him. 

[astrasng]

EMPTY BOX II JEONG YUNHO

pairing: idol!yunho x fem!reader

summary: yunho is your best friend, but he's in love with you. can you handle the love he gives, or you pretend to ignore and satisfy your needs only?

warnings: reader is selfish and unstable, actions of cheating and mentions of heartbreak, VERY slight NSFW but mainly focused on angst.

recommended music: empty box -ateez (obv) we can't be friends - ariana grande

author's note: this is pure fiction, the act in this story is by my imagination and not based off any true events. please do not copy the work.

(also i DREAMED this fic and i couldn't handle being yunho in my mind 24/7 so i had to write it out lol enjoy)

Do you know that feeling when your heart desires someone so bad, that you can’t talk about your feelings openly, fearing that what if you screw everything up. Your heart is so full of someone, that you can’t even call it yours. Feelings are dangerous, but the heart is heavier than people predict. Especially when you’re in love. You're so full of different emotions that it sometimes pushes out the ability to speak or act straight. So it results in you denying everything you feel. Just in order to protect them and your friendship. 

But nevertheless, 

When you hear the other confessing those feelings you feel, it all comes together. 

When you hear him whispering “I think I’m in love with you.”

When you can feel his warm breath fanning over your skin, being so close you can feel his body warmth, 

When you can feel him pulling the covers over your body because you fell asleep one night you two watched a movie together,

It all comes together. 

You need to confess. 

So one day, when Yunho announced that he’s going away on a mini trip to another city, and he needs someone to keep an eye on his house and dog, you volunteered happily. Because what are best friends for? Without a doubt, Yunho trusted his house on you. It makes you feel so warm inside, knowing that he feels the same way changes everything. Although, the fact that he’s going away without knowing how you feel, eats you alive. Maybe you should’ve let him know about your feelings before it’s too late. However, it’s been almost a week since he left you here, and as you sit on the carpeted floor in his living room in front of a coffee table, you’re thinking about him. The weather outside went from sunny and warm to suddenly humid and cloudy as the day slowly creeps into late afternoon. You know it’s risky being in a relationship with an idol, but somehow that doesn’t bother you. The only thing on your mind is being happy, with him in your arms. 

But no use of these thoughts. It just slowly eats you alive, the more you think about it. You should wait for him like you’ve always been, sitting in his house and taking care of his dog like you promised. But no. Something inside you tells otherwise,and that is exactly how you end up standing in the middle of his room, staring at his neatly made bed in the dark room, only the streetlight illuminating the room. It kills you staring at his bed, basically still smelling his perfume he probably put on himself the day he left his house. It’s overwhelming thinking back to those times when you slept over because you were “tipsy” and needed someone who would take care of you. No doubt, you’re friends called Yunho. 

Of course they didn’t know how painful it was for Yunho to pick you up from parties and feed you with warm food and clothes in his home just as a friend. 

Whenever  your friends called him up, already teasing him about looking out for your boyfriend at the time to not to get jealous. 

It made his heart shatter in pieces when you stood in his door, wrenched because of the heavy rain outside because your so lovely boyfriend broke up with you. Saying the excuse that you needed a friend. So naturally, Yunho had enough.

Without your notice, he started distancing himself a little, until one night,you called him again, asking if you could crash at his house because your stuff is still at your ex-boyfriend’s place, still not being able to gather the courage to stand in front of him. What can he say when you’re asking him in a desperate voice, the voice only he knows because he heard it a hundred times? In no time, you were eating his self-made food and watching his favorite movies on his TV. He thought it would be a smart idea having you so close to his body, almost cuddling like a normal couple would, but instead you weren’t together like that. He lets out a sigh when he notices you sleeping deeply, dreaming about something happy because he can see a slight smile in the corner of your mouth. Before he could stop himself, he whispers;

I’m in love with you. 

But that was months ago. And he still thinks it was good this way, telling you he loves you without you really knowing, just so the pain would be lifted up from his chest and heart. 

As these memories flood your mind, you let the tears soak in his bedsheets you changed oh so dearly earlier today. As you’ve been spending your days here you avoided his room, afraid that if you go inside, you would call Yunho up and order him home. You couldn't do that, not when he’s working. But as you spent more time in the room, it didn’t sound so bad. Would he be able to come home? Just because you called? 

The answer is yes. 

Whispering on the phone that you need him home immediately, he left everything and rushed from the hotel he was staying at. He loved you too much to ignore such a simple request. It was you, in the end. But as you put down the phone, you look around once more in his room, you remember back one more time. 

To that night. 

That night, you were selfish. It happened way before he confessed, but just by looking at him you knew he might have felt something towards you. And you used it perfectly to please yourself. As usual, you and your “new” boyfriend had an argument and you didn’t want to be in the same place as him, so you escaped in your “Yunho always got my back” world. And Yunho couldn’t say no to you, not when you were crying in his arms, squeezing his body so close and telling him please don’t let go. It was unfair, really. How easily he fell for you and said yes to everything you asked for. Even when you asked him to take you to his room and make love to you. 

You overstepped something that night, but still wouldn’t admit it. 

But that night, you truly felt like you made love with someone with no strings attached. You truly felt like you were being heard. Someone cared for you,someone loved you. 

You felt his lips tracing your body like a feather, worshiping every part of you like fine crystals in the sea. You looked like a goddess in his eyes, the way your hair sprawled on the bed sheets, your body arching when his lips got lower and lower until he found your sweet spot that needed so much attention. That night, you repeated his name like a mantra, whispering in his ears to go faster or harder, or scratching his back to punctuating your words when you say — please Yunho, make me yours~

And all he said was; I love you - whispering in your hair when you screamed his name around him due the pleasure he caused. He whispered your name over and over, begging for you to finally hear him. But no use. 

Somehow you knew how to have him wrapped around your fingers. 

So why did you ignore him up until now?You don’t exactly know either. 

But there he was. You hear the car pulling up to the driveway, the headlights illuminating the semi-dark living room as you enter, running to the door just to almost trip over some dog toy in process. You shouldn’t be this excited, but you can’t help but smile when you open up the door and run towards him. Your heart skips a beat as you take in his tall figure,wearing a long gray coat as he runs towards you in the rain. He towers over you as both of you stop in front of each other, feeling the cold rain falling on your bodies, but that doesn’t even matter to you. His warm hands sneaking up on your cold face says it all. His worried expression takes you in. 

“Are you alright? Why did you-” 

You cut Yunho off by pulling him closer to you, inching closer to his lips but this time, the unexpected happens. His hands grips your face harder to keep you back, defeatedly putting his forehead on yours. The rain rolls off his dark soaked hair onto your face, making you smile as you look into his eyes.

 “I love you,Yunho!” 

The world stops, it feels like raindrops are freezed in the air, waiting for everything to go back to normal. Yunho feels the same way too, waiting for you to continue to make sure he doesn’t hallucinate anything. A moment passes, and your hair is soaked by now as you watch Yunho’s expression. His eyebrows are scrunched together slightly, his eyes searching for something in yours, while on the other hand, you smile brightly at him. It feels like you’ve been rejected, without words. 

“Can’t you hear me? I love you-”

Instead of finishing your sentence, you grab him by his face,slowly kissing his cold lips to snap him back to reality. It feels unreal to him, really. Too unreal, in fact. So he can’t help but trust his intuitions and pull you away from him. Your eyes widens when you take in his disappointed expression, his eyes still closed. “Do you…do you really love me?”He stutters out, his gaze suddenly glued to yours. Without another doubt, you nod heavily. “Of course.” 

“Do you realize what you're doing, Y/N?” As another moment passes the rain pours harder on your bodies, like the weather knows how Yunho feels too. You make a confused face, still holding his eye contact. “What are you talking about?” 

But then, he lets you go suddenly, stepping away from you as he swipes his hand over his wet face. “Both of us know what this is really about. Right?” 

“I think we should go inside, we’re going to catch a cold. Let’s go have a bath, yeah?” You whisper, trying to catch his hand from his frustrated face, but he pulls away. 

“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me? How miserable my life is because of you?” 

The words simply slip out of his mouth, visibly not regretting. Yunho should feel morse because of his harsh words, but he doesn’t. He finally feels free saying these words to you, after being used to many times. The look on your face only upsets him more, the clear confusion and innocence sits on your eyes like you don’t know how you played him just right. You really thought you finally sorted your feelings out. Was it a lie? 

“I have been here for you, everytime something shit happens to you, Y/N. I was here when your shitty boyfriends abused you or you had enough of them. I let you use me because I was so blinded by my own feelings. Do you still not realize?” 

His words hit you like a thunderstorm echoing in the dark sky. It makes you more confused than ever. 

“Can you imagine what I had to go through because you thought of me just as a friend while I loved you with all my heart?” 

“But I love you too, Yunho-”

“No you don’t. You just the idea of me being here for you every time you fuck something up. You need someone to clear the mess up after you, and your other friends clearly can’t do that.” 

As Yunho continues, you feel like the world is slipping out from under you. 

“I tried to move on from the fact that we are not meant to be, but you had to come back and seduce me again, right?” 

He inches away from you, betrayal and pain showing on his tired face as he lets out another sigh. Before you could say anything else, you hear the car door opening and closing again, a figure closing to the two of you with an umbrella. Your breath catches in your throat as Yunho looks down next to him, his arms sneaking around the girl standing next to him. 

“This…this never meant to be on a long run, Y/N.” He says, not looking in your way as he takes the umbrella from the girl, her eyes intervening with his as she looks up at him with worry. You know this look from him. He used to look at you like that too. “W-what?” You’re left speechless when Yunho extends his arm towards you, keeping you under the umbrella as he takes your own hand and places it in it. He takes his coat off and hovers it above the girl next to him, his hand sliding into hers as he looks at you once more. “I think you should go home tomorrow and never come back. For the both of us.” 

Yunho loving you teached you a lot of things, nevertheless, in the end, you were just a girl who happened to choose the wrong people over the good ones.

[fayestardust]

On September 16, 1944, Private Ivor Rowberry wrote a final letter to his mother. Five days later, he was killed. He was just 22. He was part of the 2nd South Staffordshire Regiment, volunteering for airborne service. During We Happy Few 506's Operation Market Garden Tour this weekend, Mark Huberman, the actor who plays Lester Hashey in Band of Brothers, read his letter to us (pictured).

I would normally post it under the cut, but it is so moving that I want everyone to read it.

---

Dear Mom,

Usually when I write a letter it is very much overdue and I must make every effort to get it away quickly. This letter, however is different. It is a letter I hoped you would never receive, as it is just a verification of that terse, black-edged card which you received some time ago, and which caused you so much grief. It is because of that grief that I wrote this letter, and by the time you have finished reading it I hope that it has done some good, and that I have not written in vain. It is very difficult to write now of future things in the past tense, so I am returning to the present.

Tomorrow we go into action. As yet I do not know exactly what our job will be, but no doubt it will be a dangerous one in which many lives will be lost – mine may be one of those lives. Well Mom, I am not afraid to die. I like this life, yes for the past two years I have planned and dreamed and mapped out a perfect future for myself. I would have liked that future to materialise, but it is not what God wills, and if by sacrificing all this I leave the world slightly better than I found it I am perfectly willing to make that sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong though, Mom; I am no flag-waving patriot, nor have I ever professed to be.

England’s a great little country, the best there is, but I cannot honestly and sincerely say “that it is worth fighting for”. Nor can I fancy myself in the role of a gallant crusader fighting for the liberation of Europe. It would be a nice thought, but I would only be kidding myself. No, Mom, my little world is centred around you, and includes Dad, everyone at home, and my friends at Wolverhampton, that is worth fighting for, and if by doing so it strengthens your security and improves your lot in any way, then it is worth dying for too. Now this is where I come to the point of this letter. As I have already stated, I am not afraid to die, and am perfectly willing to do so, if, by my doing so, you benefit in any way whatsoever. If you do not then my sacrifice is all in vain. Have you benefited, Mom, or have you cried and worried yourself sick? I fear it is the latter. Don’t you see, Mom, that it will do me no good, and that in addition you are undoing all the good work I have tried to do. Grief is hypocritical, useless and unfair, and neither you or me any good.

I want no flowers, no epitaph, no tears. All I want is for you to remember me and feel proud of me; then I shall rest in peace, knowing that I have done a good job. Death is nothing final or lasting; if it were there would be no point in living; it is just a stage in everyone’s life. To some it comes early, to others late, but it must come to everyone some time, and surely there is no better way of dying. Besides, I have probably crammed more enjoyment into my 21 years than some manage to do in 80. My only regret is that I have not done as much for you as I would like to do. I loved you Mom; you were the best mother in the world, and what I failed to do in life I am trying to make up in death, so please don’t let me down, Mom, don’t worry or fret, but smile, be proud and satisfied. I have never had much money, but what little I have is yours. Please don’t be silly or sentimental about it, and don’t try to spend it on me. Spend it on yourself or the kiddies, it will do some good that way. Remember that where I am I am quite O.K. and providing that I know you are not grieving over me I shall be perfectly happy. Well, Mom, that is all, and I hope I have not written it all in vain. Goodbye, and thanks for everything.

Your unworthy son,

Ivor

---

[acourtofthought]

Hi! Can you give me a clarification on this?

Has there been any hint or even a scene where Elain willingly volunteered to use her powers? (On her own, with no pressure from the IC)

She seems to hate being Fae to me, and in ACOFAS Amren even calls her out on this, telling her she can't turn into a human. Doesn't it make it obvious that Elain still hasn't embraced being Fae?

Every E/riel insists that she's fine and she's already embraced her power, she's training secretly, she doesn't hate being Fae etc., And I'm kinda confused, like, doesn't CANON suggest otherwise? 😭 Why and how are they so confident? Did I read it wrong or am I remembering it wrong?

Is this what gaslighting is? /s

I personally think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. In the novella Elain did mourn for her human life and that's understandable because it had only been about 6 months since she lost her fiance, her humanity, her friends. I don't necessarily know that Elain was asking if she could be changed back into a human, Amren assumed that's why she was asking but Elain initially seemed a little confused by her response. However, I don't think anyone can claim she was completely fine with being fae as she said she did not want a male or a mate. I do think SF, which took place 9 months later, shows Elain had progress. From what I can tell Elain took it upon herself to help other residents of Velaris restore their gardens (we're given no indication she was forced into it). Feyre did ask Elain for help with the Trove, "It wasn't an easy choice for me to ask Elain to endanger herself like this." but it was Elain who fought for the chance to do so rather than bowing out when Nesta told her she wasn't allowed to: "You do not decide what I can and cannot do, Nesta." "Find me when you wish to begin". And though Feyre told Elain she could stay home when the rest went to the Hewn City, Elain "squared her shoulders and declared she was part of this court - and would do whatever was needed." So I do think Elain has embraced being fae to some extent but that doesn't mean she's completely healed from her trauma. She calls Nesta out for that very thing which Feyre brings up in her bonus: "Or what she'd said about her lingering trauma". Elain is an optimist, she tries to make the best of her situation. Hell, she missed the cottage after their wealth was restored because she even found hope in their hovel. Just because she seems somewhat content in the NC, just because she's made progress in adjusting to being fae, it doesn't mean she's truly happy. It only means she's Elain doing what Elain does. It would actually be a bit strange for a FMC to start her book happy in life and happy in love and there's a reason that regardless of what things might look like on the outside, the author added all those clues that create doubt: "Elain in black was ridiculous" "No matter how much she claimed to be part of this court....It sucked the life from her". "But Elain...The Spring Court had been made for someone like her." Her scent "a promise of spring". All the mentions of Elain sitting by the sunniest of windows while in the NC just like Feyre would sit and look out into the night sky while in the Spring Court. Elain saying she needs Sunshine and the author revealing that Lucien is the heir to Day. I think her progress in SF is not meant to show that Elain has found her home in the NC (how could she when Nesta thinks she's a dog, Feyre only thinks her a pleasant companion and Az doesn't think she should handle the Trove?) but that Elain is now ready to do more. To take the next steps which will help her find where she truly belongs, where she is respected and where she can thrive.

[dr-futbol-blog]

The Defiant One, Pt. 9

In Miller's Crossing (S04E09), John Sheppard talks a man into killing himself. He does this for Rodney (but also for himself, because he simply can't stand the thought of losing him; it is both a thoroughly selfless act and an utterly selfish one). He sacrifices the life of a man who did some terrible things for a pure motive -- in an attempt to save someone that he loved, his dying daughter.

Sheppard can't admit it, most of all to himself. So he tells Rodney: "I presented a situation. He volunteered."

A similar thing happens here, although it is never McKay's intention for it to happen. He -- his actions, his words, his growing agitation -- presents Brendan Gaul with a situation, and he volunteers. Sheppard and McKay both put the gun into his hand, and he turns it in on himself. He is in pain, to be sure. Believes that he is dead anyway, and becoming more and more a burden. He feels his life-force draining away by the moment. But still. Here, Rodney McKay talked a man into killing himself. For Sheppard.

It's not what he says, it's the way he speaks about him: "What I really wanna do is call him on the radio, but I'm afraid if he's hiding from the Wraith, I might inadvertently give away his position, and let's face it, what chance do we have against the Wraith if Sheppard can't take him out? I was hoping to be strong enough, then I..."

The thing is, while Brendan was in pain and dying, his decision seems to have been motivated not just by the desire to let his old friend McKay off the hook, but for McKay to get his happily ever after. Just before, they have this exchange:

McKay: It's been too long. I think the Major could be in trouble -- and if he's in trouble, we're in trouble. Gaul: Then go. McKay: You figure you can move? Gaul: Not a chance. I'm not going anywhere. McKay: OK. That's OK. Gaul: Go. Rodney, just go! Save the day.

Save the day, get the girl.

This echoes Sheppard's sentiments in the previous episode: save the city, save Weir and McKay, take the rest of the day off.

In the final season, we see many instances of this: people willing to sacrifice their own happiness, even their own lives, for the chance that someone they love might be able to have a modicum of happiness. I'll get to the many mirrors to the main story later but obviously the biggest example of this is Sheppard himself, willing to sacrifice everything (and by everything I mean unfathomable things) just to give Rodney a chance at something that he thinks might make him happy. Rodney getting his happily ever after is more important to him than his own life.

And here, Brendan makes that choice. He doesn't think he's going to survive anyway, so he might as well help Rodney save the day and get his guy. There is not a doubt in my mind that Brendan hadn't realized by this time that McKay's agitation over Sheppard's well-being went well beyond the regular. Listening in on them, he might well even have come to the conclusion that Sheppard returned those feelings. They are so obvious that literally everyone else can see what they can't, even when it's right before their eyes.

The events of the Genii siege had reminded Sheppard that his love will get people close to him killed, and hence it is better not to let anyone get close. Brendan seems to have thought of himself as a roadblock, something that kept McKay from getting to where he wanted to be but taking such drastic measures, he actually made himself into an obstacle -- ensured that his death would be looming between these two for a good while.

McKay doesn't think that his love is poison. He thinks that his love is worthless. Here, Brendan's actions reinforce that belief; he sacrificed a lot to stay back with his friend, to take care of him, but in the end, it wasn't enough. His compassion and devotion weren't worth staying alive for. No matter how much he does for other people, he can never do enough. No matter how much he accomplishes, he can never accomplish enough to earn love (because he thinks that it is something that is earned through good behaviour and the correct performance and flawless execution of tasks). It is through acts of service that he expresses his love and sincerely believes that if he could only do enough, one day he might be worth someone's love.

Doing things is also his way of avoiding his emotions, just as self-isolation is for Sheppard. He actually confesses this to Zelenka in This Mortal Coil (S04E10), "That's one of the perks of the job. Something terrible happens, you don't have enough time to dwell on it ‘cause you're too busy trying to stop the next terrible thing from happening. Seriously, if it wasn't for the Replicators and their plan to wipe out every human in the galaxy, I'd be in pretty bad shape right now."

Beyond some disturbing anecdotes, we don't really learn that much about McKay's childhood but I would bet dollars to doughnuts that this stems from losing his mother at a young age, possibly to slowly progressing disease (McKay's last words before the gun goes off here are "I was hoping I would be strong enough..."; it is easy to transfer the sentiment for a young boy's words to a dying mother). This kind of a traumatic event often causes estrangement in siblings and embitterment in the surviving parent. By the the next episode and definitely toward the end of the season we learn that he and his sister are estranged and can infer that by this time, both of their parents have passed. She is the only family he has left, and indeed it seems like most people chosen for the mission have minimal ties to earth.

Of course it is dramatic irony that McKay's feelings of unworthiness for love would increase at the same time that Sheppard is beginning to open up and let someone closer, to learn that he doesn't have to be alone, that he doesn't have to save the world alone when there are such heroes as Rodney McKay in it. Of course it has to be this way. Their journey is only just beginning, after all.

Outside, we find Sheppard talking to himself again. This is obviously for the benefit of the audience, as watching the strong silent type doing stealthy commando stuff can carry an episode only so far. But we can interpret it as Sheppard's need to communicate. He really wants to have that link to McKay, wants to at least hear his voice on the radio if he can't have him near. But it was he himself that told Rodney to stay off the radio, and he doesn't to open it back up again just to tell McKay that he's still here, still failing at the one task he needs to succeed which is to keep him safe. He doesn't want to contact McKay until he can approach him with the all-clear, come pick ya up.

He also doesn't know how badly McKay wants him to get in touch. How some of the final words he spoke to Brendan were "What I really want to do is contact him on the radio". Neither of them realizes how much the other needs them.

Ford and Teyla are finally able to contact Sheppard. He sounds so relieved to hear from them because back-up means not that they might defeat the wraith, not that he might be able to get to the jumper, but that he might be able to keep Rodney safe, because all of the other things were meant to accomplish that aim. But alas, his relief is short-lived:

Sheppard: Lieutenant, I like your timing! Get your ass down here. Ford: Sir, we're still two-zero minutes away at top speed. Sheppard: Well, in that case, your timing sucks! Get here as soon as you can.

Note that Sheppard is not performing military for the young soldier under his command, he's not using military parlance even though that is how Ford approaches him, and it would probably be the way Ford wishes Sheppard behaved toward him (because the hierarchy and code of conduct exist for a reason, after all). Sheppard just has such problems with authority that he can't put up the performance, especially when he's the one that is supposed to be the authority. This is relevant both to his sudden use of military parlance with Dr. Gaul earlier, and his responding McKay with "Negative" instead of "No".

Sheppard and the wraith are shooting at each other, and it seems like the Major might be done for. It's interesting how his last resort is an answer to the here unspoken question "What would McKay do?", which is something he also used to motivate himself in the previous episode in which he actually said the words out loud. Here, he just does the thing he thinks McKay would do in this situation -- which is to say, try to project invaluability, make it seem like the wraith needs to keep him alive to perform a task that cannot be accomplished without him. He shouts to the wraith: "You need me to get off this planet. I'm the only one that can fly that ship."

Again, this is a bold faced lie. Sheppard feeds lies to his enemies, this is what he does. He started by lying about the war, about being Lantean himself, all of it. Lying and subterfuge are weapons he uses against his enemies.

Note also that while he's doing the thing he thinks McKay would have done in this situation, he's protecting Rodney at the same time, as we began the whole episode with him teaching Rodney how to fly -- Sheppard, that is, is not the only one on the planet that can fly that ship but he would very much like the wraith to believe that he is. What he thinks might be his final act is keeping Rodney safe. He knows there's 20 minutes until reinforcements arrive and he's making sure that the wraith has no reason (having just fed upon him, which it very much wants to do) to go looking for McKay before that in the event that he is killed right here, right now. He might die, but McKay will live.

And then Rodney throws a wrench in that plan.

Continued in Pt. 10

[soulofapatrick]

A Stolen Moment - Tommy Miller x Reader

Summary: Tommy comes into the clinic after getting into a fight

Words: 2.5k

Warnings: none 

Notes: Sorry I haven’t written recently, lost motivation from an anon 😅 idm your criticisms but please make them constructive instead of just insulting

Y/N’s POV

Raising my head when the door of the clinic opens I don’t expect the one and only Tommy Miller to walk in and I don’t expect for him to be blushing and fumbling for words when he seems me, right hand waving towards his split knuckles on his left hand. I’m rolling my eyes and guiding him to one of the beds to sit down while I go and get the things I need to patch him up. 

“What happened this time?” I ask as I search through my thinning supplies, searching for some antiseptic wipes I know I have here somewhere. I finally find the antiseptic wipes tucked away in a drawer, triumphantly pulling them out and turning back to Tommy to catch him nervously running a hand through his hair, cheeks still very flushed. 

“Well, you know me,” He starts, sheepishly scratching the back of his neck, “No-one gets to trash talk about the people I care about.” 

I shake my head with a bemused smile, already accustomed to Tommy’s occasional bout of protectiveness when it comes to his family and close friends, “Joel?” Tommy chuckles, shaking his head and flushing even brighter red, drawing a frown from me as Tommy isn’t the shy sort of person. Before the outbreak he was the heartbreaker who had girls trailing after him and he loved the attention. He is still a little like that except he’s not as much of a playboy as he used to be and has settled down a lot more now. Well, that’s what Joel tells me. 

His hand is rough in mine as I hold it still to begin cleaning it up, feeling him flinch slightly when the wipe hits the open cuts. Instinctively, I’m rubbing soothing circles into his wrist as I continue with even more care and caution as he speaks up, “No, not Joel,” He admits, voice a mix of sheepishness and sincerity that has me pausing what I’m doing and looking up to meet those deep russet eyes, “It was you.” 

“Me? What do you mean, Tom?” 

Tommy’s blush deepens and he averts his gaze, momentarily unable to meet my eyes, “I overheard some guys at the bar, he was talking trash about you,” He confesses, his voice laced with a surprising amount of protectiveness, “They were saying things that I couldn’t just let slide.” 

A mixture of gravitate and confusion swirls within me. Tommy’s actions speaking volumes about his character, but I can’t help but wonder why he feels the need to defend me in such a way. I’m not much of anything in the town, helping between the stables and the clinic as a volunteer. I barely talk to Tommy, let alone anyone else, so I don’t know why he would want to defend my honour. The realisation that Tommy went out of his way to defend my honour fills me with a curious mixture of surprise, gratitude and something else entirely. It stirs a warmth in my chest, a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, his actions go beyond mere friendship. 

I’m probably reading into it too much. It was probably just a friendly gesture, devoid of any romantic intentions. I go back to cleaning up his split knuckles with the antiseptic wipes and prompt him gently, wanting him to tell me more, “What were they saying about me, Tommy?”

The older man takes a deep breath, eyes finding mine once again when I glance back up, “They were making disrespectful comments, lewd ones too.” He admits, voice tinged with a quiet resolve, “And… they were saying things about you that I won’t repeat. It crossed the line.” 

A mixture of surprise and gratitude washes over me as I process Tommy’s words. It’s not often that someone comes to my defence so vehemently, especially without being prompted to do so. That spark of hope seems to catch fire and is now ablaze in my chest. His words echo in my mind, resonating with a quite resolve. It fuels the fire even more but, there is always the doubt that lingers, holding me back from fully embracing my feeling for Tommy. 

As I continue to clean his split knuckles my mind races with conflicting thoughts and emotions. A mixture of vulnerability and hope swirls within me, bring me to seize the moment but I can’t. I don’t want to lose Tommy as friend, it’s not worth the risk. If I lost Tommy who would come flying into my house almost every morning with a cry of needing coffee? Who would bring me back books he thinks I’d like from his patrols? Who would visit me in the clinic with funny stories and stupider injuries? Tommy’s presence in my life has become a constant source of joy and support. He’s more than just a friend; he’s my confidant, my companion in this post-outbreak world. He’s my person. The memories we’ve created together, the laughter and shared experiences, are precious to me. Losing that connection is a risk that I’m not sure I’m quite ready to take. 

 I take a moment to observe Tommy, the way his gaze lingers on me, a mixture of concern and curiosity in his russet eyes. His curly black hair dances in the evening light, entwining strands of silver that glimmer subtly. His sun-kissed skin feels warm and inviting against mine, its softness contrasting with the ruggedness of his wounds. The sprinkling of freckles on his cheeks adds to his boyish charm, while his russet eyes shine brightly, taking on a lighter cognac hue in the fading daylight. With shoulder-length curls framing his face just so, a small goatee and a touch of moustache, he exudes a rugged and masculine allure. 

As I carefully wrap the bandage around Tommy’s hand, my fingers gently securing the fabric in place, I can’t help but steal places at his captivating features. The way his russet eyes study my movements, it draws me in and holds my attention until I’m finally standing up, taking a step back to admire my handiwork, “You’ll be right as rain in a few days.” 

“Thanks Doc.” He grins, gaze open and honest as he looks up at me, revealing vulnerability and a depth of emotion that sends shivers down my spine. Those captivating eyes, the colour of aged cognac in the light, holding a warmth that matches his sun kissed skin. I can’t help but get lost in their depth, my feet moving me forwards with me brain. His lips, plump and slightly parted, seem to beckon me closer, their sun-kissed hue inviting me to lean in and taste their sweetness. The flush of rosiness on his freckled cheeks only enhancing his natural allure, accentuating the boyish charm that surrounds him. 

“S-stop me,” I’m choking out when his large and calloused hands land on my waist, pulling me in the final distance so I’m stood between his legs. My heart pounds in my chest as I feel Tommy’s hands on my waist, pulling me closer again until there’s barely any space between us. I try to form words to protest, to remind him of the potential consequences, but they get caught in my throat, overridden by the overwhelming desire coursing through me. 

With a gently yet firm hold, Tommy draws me down towards him, and our lips meet in a collision of longing and pent up emotions. It’s a kiss that catches us both off guard, a culmination of unspoken desires that have been building between us. Our breath mingles, and our hearts race in unison as if signalling the gravity of the moment. The first brush of our lips sends electric shocks coursing through my body, igniting a fire that burns hotter with each passing second. It’s as if we’ve both been craving this connection, this intimacy, like a drug we’ve been denying ourselves of far too long. 

Gasps escape the kiss, our mouths moving hungrily, desperately, seeing solace and comfort in each other. It’s a dance of tongues and a tangle of lips, a symphony of shared desires and unspoken words. The world around us fading into insignificance as we immerse ourselves in the intoxicating moment, losing track of time and place. 

Tommy’s touch is both gentle and possessive, his hands roaming my back, sending shivers down my spine. My fingers tangle in his curly black hair, pulling him closer and keeping the kiss with a hunger that matches his own until we’re both needing air. We part almost reluctantly, breathless and dizzy, our eyes locking as we try to comprehend the depth of what we’ve juts shared. The air crackles with a newfound intensity, the room filled with an electric charge that lingers between us.  

A soft chuckle escapes Tommy’s lips as he caresses my cheek, the warmth of his touch seeping into my skin. His eyes sparkle with a mixture of tenderness and amusement, as if he’s enjoying the effect he has on me. I can’t help but lean into hi touch, unable to deny the overwhelming attraction that binds us. 

“I can hear you thinking, Darlin’.” He murmurs, his voice filled with a hint of teasing affection. The heat rises to my cheeks, confirming that this is indeed real, and my heart flutters in response. How could I have ever doubted the sincerity of his actions? 

A realisation washes over me, breaking through the remnants of disbelief. This isn’t a dream; it’s the start of something incredible which sounds so incredibly cliche. Tommy, the man I’ve admired from a distance, has taken that leap with me, embracing the possibility of a deeper connection. It brings a newfound confidence to me, raising my hand to rest on his, keeping it against my cheek. The warmth of his touch grounding me, dispelling any lingering doubts or uncertainties. 

“Tom,” I whisper, my voice filled with sincerity and a touch of vulnerability, “Never thought I’d be yours.” 

He smiles, a genuine warmth radiating from his eyes, “I was always yours.” He replies, voice barely above a whisper. Tears glisten in my eyes as I absorb Tommy's words, feeling a rush of emotions overwhelm me. The weight of his admission, the depth of his feelings, and the sheer vulnerability he displays leave me breathless. It's as if he's been waiting for this moment as much as I have, as if we were destined to find each other in the midst of chaos and uncertainty. 

I let go of any lingering fears, surrendering to the undeniable connection between us, leaning down to capture his lips with mine once again. The kiss is soft and tender, filled with a profound sense of longing and affection. Our lips move together in perfect harmony, meeting again and again like old friends. His lips warm and inviting, meshing with mine in a dance that speaks volumes of unspoken desires. There is a delicate balance between passion and tenderness, a harmony that leaves us both gasping for breath and craving more. 

Tommy’s hand cradles my face, his touch gentle yet possessive, as if he wants to imprint this moment in his memory forever. I respond with equal fervour, my fingers tangling in his hair again and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss with an intensity that matches the wildfire burning within us. 

There’s an unspoken language between us, a silent understanding of the depth of our connection. It’s a kiss that conveys all the unspoken words, all the unexpressed emotions and all the promises that lie ahead. 

“Damn sugar, that was something.” Tommy breathes, tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip. It sends a flush through me again, this time heading south with how his hands are gripping my hips, “I hope this isn’t just a heat of the moment thing.” 

“Never,” My voice is just as breathy as his and his face breaks out into a grin, hands flexing against my hips before he’s sliding off the bed and too his feet. My eye line now at his chin, making me look up at him and fuck, he’s perfect. I watch as Tommy stands before me, his presence commanding and his words filled with assurance. The heat of the moment may have sparked our connection, but his genuine concern reassures me that this is more than just a fleeting encounter. The way his hands linger on my hips and the intensity in his eyes affirm the depth of his commitment.

“I’ve got to get back to work but I’ll be here for you when you finish your shift, baby doll.” He coos, ducking down to steal another quick kiss from me before reluctantly pulling away, leaving me standing there, breathless and longing for more. I watch him straighten his posture, his confidence radiating from every pore. He's a man of action, committed to his responsibilities, yet always finding a way to make time for what truly matters. A shiver runs down my spine at his endearing nickname, "baby doll," a term of endearment that melts any remaining doubts or insecurities. I feel a surge of anticipation for the hours ahead, knowing that when my shift ends, he'll be there waiting for me. 

“Take care Tom,” I murmur, my voice filled with affection and longing. I can’t help but admire him as he turns to leave, his figure seemingly fighting to stay as he walks towards the door. As he leaves, a sudden longing fills the air between us. But just as I resign myself to the anticipation of his return later, he’s spinning on his heels and retracing his steps back to me with a sense of purpose. 

In a whirlwind of moment, Tommy closes the distance between us once more. His lips crash against mine, a passionate and exhilarating connection that steals my breath away. Every touch, every brush of his lips against mine ignites a fiery passion within me, leaving me hungry for more. 

As abruptly as he arrived, Tommy pulls away, his eyes sparkling with triumph and mischief. With a swift moment, he releases my lips, a smug grin spreading across his face. His victory is evident in his triumphant shout, echoing through the room, filling the air with contagious joy. It draws a burst of laughter from me, caught off guard by his impulsivity. The surprise and delight intertwine, creating a lighthearted ambiance that fills the space between us. It’s a memory I will forever cherish. 

Still chuckling, I watch as Tommy retreats, his steps filled with purpose and energy. He leaves me standing there, breathless and elated, a mix of anticipation and contentment swirling within me. With a smile on my face and a heart brimming with joy, I continue on with a newfound spring in my step. I know that when my shift ends, Tommy will be there, waiting for me with open arms and a heart full of love. And together, we'll embark on a journey that promises to be filled with laughter, passion, and stolen kisses that will forever leave us breathless.

---------------

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[the-present-is-a-gift-au]

Chapter 2: In Which Farewells are Bidden

Kip left to start his apprenticeship and set off on his expedition before Twig could work up the gumption again to even hint at her memories returning. She really was going to have to grin and bear their return on her own, and the thought weighed heavy in her belly. She only barely managed to keep up a smile for Kip in the days leading up to his departure— and the minute after Treasure Town saw him off alongside her, she started bawling. 

Bidoof noticed her silent tears as Kip disappeared from view down the road and everyone began filing off to their homes. “Shucks, are you alright, Twig?”

She sniveled and blubbered her answer. “I’m fine. I’m just going to miss him. Kip is the first friend I remember making. I just...”

“It must be awful rough, huh? I’m sure it’s hard on you, yes sirree. But… with Team Venture dissolved, maybe you could go on an adventure of your own while Kip’s off on his! I’m sure you got a family worried sick about you around here somewhere.” He smiled warmly, all buck teeth and sunshine.  “Bet your ma’s a right scary Charizard! That’s the kinda family you strike me as coming from.”

It occurred to Twig that she’d never told anyone from Treasure Town that she was once human. She wiped her eyes, then shed even more tears than she could hope to sweep away when her hands were already covered in her grief, and nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea. It’d be nice to know more about my past.”

Bidoof sat up on his haunches and patted her back. “I think it’d do you a lot of good, yup yup! But get some rest for now. You need it after today.”

He fell back onto his paws and waddled off after the rest of the townsfolk, humming cheerfully to himself as he went.

Yeah, Twig bleakly thought, recalling the numerous ways she’d been tripped up by her returned memories, Some good it’s done me knowing anything at all about where I come from. It’s not like I’d give anything to be a real amnesiac and have them stay gone.

The worst part of her bitter inward remarks is that they weren’t even true. She desperately wanted to know who she was and how she’d come to be who she is. But the fact that it came with those memories instead of happier ones first… she doubted whether she could handle the return of any more. It just might shatter her.

***

It hurt a lot to learn respect. That was the only thing she could say. She felt like her insides were all done up in knots and stuck with pins whenever she had to go home to her aunt, so she spent most of her time avoiding passing through the door. She would beg to visit friends' houses, she would volunteer to clean up after school, she would take the long walk back— she did everything she could to put off her return to the place she’d learned was a painful schoolhouse and not a home.

That was funny to think about. Especially when the unit used to belong to her parents. 

Oh, that was sad to think about. Why did it surprise her to remember she had parents at one point? Sometimes it seemed like it had always been just her and Auntie. Her family had passed just a year or two ago, but here she was, remembering that she had forgotten the sound of their voices. 

How had they died, again?

She felt the memory of rattling gasps and the sound of bile splashing against porcelain tickle at the back of her skull. Her stomach twisted at that slightest hint of what happened. She would have liked to pursue the memory and grasp its slippery recollection with shaky hands, but she had just arrived home. She needed to be quiet and pleasant. She needed to hide and be silent. She hadn’t done anything disrespectful yet, but she didn’t want to try her luck and garner another lesson on how to behave for her aunt.

A hand seized her wrist as she carefully closed the front door behind her.

It turned out she didn’t have to do anything at all to need another lesson.

Twig woke up clutching her mouth and dry heaving. It wasn’t uncommon for this to be how she awoke nowadays, but the nightmarish dreamstuff clinging to her senses was more potent than usual— she couldn’t quite discern up from down as she rolled onto her hands and knees to retch. When her stomach finally got the memo that it had actually been well and truly empty the whole time, she wiped the spit from her chin and sat up to try and breathe. Her heart fluttered pitifully in her chest, and Twig recalled a word starting with P that described the sensation. What was it… Petulance? Presumption? She recalled a large dictionary that she’d spend time reading as a human and loving all of the words she learned from it, collecting them all like they were made of gold and precious gems. It was fun to gather them all and try to string the fanciest sentences she could come up with in her head as she hid away in her room. Twig remembered the feel of it in her hands despite not being able to recall the color of the cover or the edition. She remembered the way Menagerie and Jubilee felt on her tongue as she whispered them without sound to herself, and she remembered the way Cacophony described her aunt’s voice so well, even down to the way the word felt coming up her throat. 

Words were nice. A silent companion who she could take with her everywhere, and a way to help her make sense of what happened around her. She had forgotten how much she loved words. 

What a pity that there was no one around to speak English with or to help her remember whether it was Palpableness or Palpitations that she was trying to recall. 

What a nightmare that she couldn’t string together any words, whether in English or Pokéspeak or together, to convey the sheer terror she felt in the moment between hazy wakefulness and uneasy sleep as she looked over to Kip’s empty bed and recalled a terror from the near past instead of the distant Dark Future.

(She had slept in one morning after “Cresselia” had visited in her and Kip’s dreams. She was usually an early riser, but she couldn’t bear to face the day with the knowledge that her very existence was inexcusable. She was damaging the world around her and the people she loved within it just by living. Cresselia had made that clear. And she would have believed her wholly, if not for the fact that she said Kip was of the same make. Kip, the most perfect person she had ever met, who refused to fight before he could at least try to talk things out, who believed in the best of everyone— Cresselia thought he was just as bad as Twig? She was trying to mull over how that could possibly be. 

(Even beyond the morals of it all— Twig had apparently been traveling time for ages longer than Kip. She had been brought back from a Future that was meant to have been utterly erased. Kip had traveled to the future and back to the past just twice— maybe four times if you counted the disorienting spatial situation of the Hidden Land. But somehow Kip was on equal standing as her for being a temporal-spatial anomaly? She couldn’t wrap her head around it.

(But Kip had taken it so hard. He’d gone silent as Cresselia once again reiterated to them that if they were to continue living, they would undo the world around them. In the moments immediately after they had both woken up from their shared dream, he had turned to Twig and hesitantly posed the question of whether they should do it— whether they should go through with the unthinkable. Twig reacted with such a sudden anger at the thought of him harming himself that she snapped he was stupid for even considering it. 

(She didn’t mean to make him cry. She was grappling with the thought that she wasn’t just a burden on her loved ones, but she was also warping all of existence with her continued breath— and the idea that she had spread some of her self-loathing to the point of Kip pondering that very same question she had been grappling with for so long in her life was unbearable. She couldn’t stand the thought of her best friend being so poisoned by her presence that he believed for even a moment that he was as unworthy of existence as she was. He was stupid for considering it. He was. He was stupid for considering such a thing just like she was stupid for considering not doing it.

(She apologized. She said they should talk things through in the morning and try to get some sleep for the time being. He agreed and curled up in his bed opposite to her.

(Twig slept in, and she woke up to Kip’s bed empty, the entire house carved into the side of the bluff empty, and the waves and wind outside crashing and howling like a funeral march.

(She scrambled up the steps to search Treasure Town and found him sitting atop the cliff to watch the last of the sunrise. He was fine. He was okay. He was fine.

(When he asked her why she was shaking, she said she had another bad dream, and it was nothing to worry about.)

Seeing Kip’s bed empty while her mind was still halfway within her last nightmare sent her panicking.

The jolt of adrenaline snapped her awake, and with that wakefulness came the knowledge that Kip hadn’t done anything drastic— he was just gone on his expedition, seeking the apprenticeship of his dreams— but she couldn’t put a stopper on all those horrible thoughts that had gripped her when she first thought her friend had left her behind in a way more permanent than she could bear. 

When she came out of the panic attack, she decided she couldn’t bear to stay in the Bluff without Kip to dispel that awful silence his home had been overtaken by in his absence. Grovyle's words about the restored Future being too perfect despite everything that had happened there rang in her head. She went to work finding herself a new place to stay— even briefly considered living with the Future Trio before she determined she couldn’t bear to live with Grovyle’s perceptiveness when she was in so fragile of a state. 

Honestly, sometimes it felt like he knew her better than she knew herself— admittedly, that wasn’t a very difficult hurdle to leap, but she still found herself irritated by it at times. He knew her tells that had apparently carried over from her humanity, he knew things she was interested in before it even occurred to her how intriguing the topic he mentioned her enjoying was— she could tell from his using her name that they had been close before her amnesia, but it was always surprising to relearn the extent of that closeness when he brought up some insight into her personality that she wasn’t aware of beforehand. 

All of that was to say that she would absolutely not be staying with him and the rest of the refugees from the Future. The fact that she would need to be in close quarters with Dusknoir as well to put the final nail in the coffin of the idea. No, she needed to find somewhere else to stay. Treasure Town didn’t exactly have much available real estate, and she wasn’t willing to wait until a new home could be put up, so Twig set her sights on the settlements outside of her current home. The Future Trio lived in Fair Fields, so it would be nice to set up shop nearby… 

A small settlement nearby called Verdant Village had a handful of homes available. Twig stayed the night at the Future Trio’s home so she could scope out the area— it was too long of a journey to Verdant Village to make as a day trip from Treasure Town— and managed to evade Grovyle’s worried glances and quiet questions on how she was holding up by staying out on her house hunt most of the day.

She eventually found a place that would work for her. It was a bit larger of a home than she would have preferred— it looked like it was meant for two or three inhabitants rather than one, really. But it was cheap beyond belief, and she was able to pay the mortgage in full with a single payment. She realized that she might have a bit more money saved up than she thought when the eyes of the pangoro selling the home went wide at Twig’s offer to pay in one fell swoop. She didn’t really ever spend her portion of Team Venture’s income on anything other than a few stray drinks at Spinda’s Cafe here and there. It was gradually occurring to her that she could spend the rest of her life retired in relative comfort. Not that she could ever retire— the very thought sickened her— but it was a shocking realization nonetheless. 

She moved into the home. Her belongings fit well into the main room, but there was nothing left over to fill up the closets and guest rooms— she barely had a pan and a couple of plates to put in the kitchen. It was weird to live in a home that was so bare. Sure, she’d be able to fill it up with decor and furniture as time went on, but she wasn’t exactly rushing to buy a bunch of stuff that she’d just have to sell in order to downsize once she moved back into Sharpedo Bluff. It seemed like a waste of time and money, especially when she had no idea what she’d even want to buy beyond a table to eat at and maybe a chair or two.

Twig soon learned she had neighbors, and she soon learned that having neighbors was probably her least favorite thing in the world. Sharpedo Bluff had been out of the way, on the fringes of Treasure Town, and her home was as well, for the most part— if not for the fact that there was another home built not too far off, and the gallade and gardevoir couple living there didn’t mind taking a brisk walk to invite her over for dinner or drop off a housewarming gift. 

The gardevoir had stopped by soon after Twig moved in. “I live in the house just over the hill to the east— I'm so sorry for my late introduction, my husband and I have been meaning to make a good impression and intended to introduce ourselves sooner, but I’m afraid we’ve been busy helping our daughter with her schoolwork.”

Twig set down the ax she’d been using to chop firewood when her neighbor arrived— it felt odd in her hands. She'd evolved all of a sudden while doing some more intensive home repairs not long ago, and she was still adapting to her new body. “I only moved in a couple days ago, though?”

“Yes, and I’m so sorry to have kept you waiting. It must be worrisome to move somewhere new without someone willing to help you get your bearings. My husband and I would gladly be those people for you.”

“Oh— uh—” She let out a short, nervous chuckle. “I don’t mind. I’m probably just going to keep to myself, anyways. You don’t need to worry about showing me around or anything—”

“No, no, I insist! It’s the proper, friendly thing to do, isn’t it?” She gave Twig a kind smile, then shivered. “Ah— I hope you don’t mind, but is it alright if I step inside? I’ve always been one to get chilled, and the breeze is just a bit too stiff for my tastes.”

Gardevoir looked over Twig’s home with a scrutinizing eye when she invited her in. The barebones kitchen earned the narrowest appraisal. Twig assumed Gardevoir was judging her for her minimal furnishings or something, but it wasn’t even a week later when Twig was gifted a full set of dinnerware and a stock pot. Apparently her reluctance to possess anything more than two sets of silverware would not stand in the woman’s eyes.

Gallade, at the very least, wasn’t so overbearing with his welcoming nature. He made polite conversation with Twig when they crossed paths on the way to the market one morning, and told her that his daughter was a great fan of an exploration team when she told him about her former employment. “She’s always quoting their slogan. What was it… Nothing ventured, nothing gained? I had never heard it before. She had to explain to me that it was a saying from where one of the members came from. It’s got a lovely meaning, but it doesn’t roll off the tongue quite like you’d expect a slogan to, does it?”

It was a bit awkward to explain that she was the one who had come up with the slogan after that, but Gallade clearly meant no harm by it. He posed the possibility that maybe Twig could perhaps speak to his daughter about exploration teams and what she could expect from an apprenticeship at Wigglytuff’s Guild— she apparently had all sorts of romantic ideas of what it was really like, and Gallade couldn’t get her to understand that an apprenticeship would never be all sunshine and roses, especially an exploration team apprenticeship. Twig said she’d need time to get settled in more, but she’d gladly chat with her about the Guild. She figured it would be nice— she was missing Manaphy keenly these days, and chatting with a kid his age might help soften that wistfulness.

“I have all sorts of stories I could share,” she said, “good and bad, but mostly good. Let her know that the Guildmaster sleeps with his eyes open sometimes, and it scares the members silly whenever he walks in for announcements snoring despite looking wide awake.” 

When Twig finally met the young ralts in question just a few days later at the market, the girl was starstruck. She peppered her with questions as her mother surveyed the fruits available at the stall they had crossed paths before— and many of these questions were ones Twig had no idea how she’d come up with. She knew how to answer what the best way to keep your bearings in a mystery dungeon was, but she didn’t know how to describe the sights and sounds of the Guild. This dumbfounded her interviewer.

“How can you not remember the Guild? It’s so cool!” She exclaimed. “It’s built into a cliffside, and it’s got that big forest at the base, and Wigglytuff carved all the rooms himself!”

“I don’t know about that last one, Ralts. I’m pretty sure he asked some ground-types to help him out.”

“Nope, that’s not what happened at all. He blasted the rock until there was all the different rooms, and he did it by himself.” She straightened her bandana— a sweet little imitation of the informal uniforms worn by many of the Guild’s recruits, and one that was clearly homemade— and puffed out her chest. “Oh, and you can call me Lyra, Twig!”

Gardevoir, who had been silently weighing her grocery options until that point, sighed and shook her head. She knelt down to set her hand on the girl’s shoulder and kindly chastise, “Sweetheart, it’s not nice to use someone’s name without permission.”

“But I’m letting her use mine. That makes it even, so I can use her name too, right?”

Gardevoir opened her mouth to explain further, but Twig waved her hands placatingly. “I don’t mind,” she laughed. “Really. I always thought it was a bit weird to call someone Mudkip or Bidoof instead of something more personal, anyhow. We never did that where I grew up.”

“Is that so?” Gardevoir tilted her head curiously. “Fascinating! We must seem so stuffy to you, then. Where did you grow up, if you don’t mind my asking? I know a few grass-type and bug-type villages far into the valleys up North don’t place much weight in personal names, but I’ve never heard of a fire-type living out there.”

Lyra seemed to swell with excitement, eager to share her next words. “Nobody knows where Twig came from! She just poofed outta nowhere and became the best explorer ever!”

“Oh my!” She smiled down at her daughter. “I can hardly believe it! Truly the stuff of Legends, that sounds to be.” She looked back over to Twig. “You seem to have a fair few rumors built up around you, I’m afraid. I think that… Oh! Are you alright, Cha— Ah, Twig?” She looked her up and down, a worried look overtaking her. “Goodness, you look like you need to sit down.”

Twig shook her head to clear out the nervous buzzing that had filled it up. “I’m fine! I’m fine, I just need to get back home. It’s getting kind of nippy— I’m one of those people who get cold way too easily, you know? Heh. Um.” She wrung the woven straps of the bag she’d filled with her groceries. “I should head out, but I’ll see you again sometime. Let’s talk exploration soon, alright, Lyra?”

Lyra beamed. “Okay! I can show you my explorer’s bag!” 

“Let me accompany you. You don’t seem well—” She took a step forward, but Twig stopped her with a noisy refusal.

“Nope, no need! I’m good. Later, guys.”

Gardevoir’s concerned gaze didn’t leave Twig until she ducked behind a stall and out of sight. The scattered scales that she’d grown upon evolution prickled along the back of her neck. She’d moved out to Verdant Village to avoid Grovyle’s worried fretting, but it seemed she’d just gotten herself a new flavor of it in the form of her neighbor. Great. That was just peachy. 

She was going to regret moving here. She could feel it.

[freehawaii]

KE AUPUNI UPDATE - SEPTEMBER 2024

Making Our Country Visible! You’ve heard the adage, “Out of sight, out of mind”? One of the biggest problems we face in reactivating the Hawaiian Kingdom is, because most people don’t “see” the Hawaiian Kingdom, they think it no longer exists! When people think of the Kingdom as something of the past, not in the here and now or in the future, it’s hard for them to support (or even care about) a nation they canʻt “see” in the here and now. But when you stop to think about it, the Kingdom did not go away. It’s all still here! — the land, the sea, the places, the people, the history, the legacy of Aloha remain. Only the name (the State of Hawaii), the people who run it (Americans) and the style they use, changed. Underneath that haole façade is still the Hawaiian soul and the deep culture of Kapu Aloha! How do we reset our minds to raise up our still existing nation? • By embracing the fact that we are Hawaiians, not Americans. • By dropping words like “mainland” from our vocabulary… • By focusing our thoughts that we are living everyday, every moment in the Hawaiian Kingdom, • By welcoming the return of the Hawaiian Kingdom as a sovereign nation, • By inviting everyone from near and far, to join in CELEBRATING the return of the Hawaiian Kingdom! Building Confidence! Many say they would like Hawaii to be independent, but deep down don’t think it can really happen. And there are those who think, that even if we can become politically independent, we are not capable of governing, operating, or protecting our country. We need a celebration to build up confidence in our people and dispel those doubts! • A celebration of the Hawaiian Kingdom as a living nation will build a sense of identity and purpose... and bolster confidence among the people! • Taking the celebration global, will allow others to “see” our nation and get excited that this is really happening! • The celebration will bring forward a vision and roadmap for the future of Hawaii creating momentum and a snowball effect to realizing independence. Other Benefits: Even if people know we exist, they may not know there is a strong movement to actively pursue independence. This celebration will give us an opportunity to bring greater awareness to the movement to free Hawaii and provide a platform to demonstrate our political will for a Free Hawaii. Will the US agree to pull out? YES! ... and this celebration will help to give the U.S. the necessary encouragement to do the right thing. Is there a plan in place to make a peaceful, orderly transition? YES! ... and this celebration provides an opportunity to work out a road map on how to restore our nation with wide participation from our friends from all over the world.  

“Love of country is deep-seated in the breast of every Hawaiian, whatever his station.” — Queen Liliʻuokalani ---------- Ua mau ke ea o ka ʻāina i ka pono. The sovereignty of the land is perpetuated in righteousness. ------ For the latest news and developments about our progress at the United Nations in both New York and Geneva, tune in to Free Hawaii News at 6 PM the first Friday of each month on ʻŌlelo Television, Channel 53. ------ "And remember, for the latest updates and information about the Hawaiian Kingdom check out the twice-a-month Ke Aupuni Updates published online on Facebook and other social media." PLEASE KŌKUA… Your kōkua, large or small, is vital to this effort... To contribute, go to:   • GoFundMe – CAMPAIGN TO FREE HAWAII • PayPal – use account email: info@HawaiianKingdom.net • Other – To contribute in other ways (airline miles, travel vouchers, volunteer services, etc...) email us at: info@HawaiianKingdom.net All proceeds are used to help the cause. MAHALO! Malama Pono,

Leon Siu

Hawaiian National

[luveline]

Asking for a little advice since you’re so incredibly well spoken and wise… I start my next uni semester next week and to say that I am nervous and stressed is an understatement. I’m typing all of this at 6 AM and have not had any sleep at all lol. All of my classes are science and math courses, and like you said (I believe) in an ask that you answered about what you had studied in uni the first time and now, I too am not too good at science. I get all A’s not because I’m good at it, but because I put so much effort into it. It feels pretty pathetic that I was always once considered the smart one in my family and friend groups, but I think I’m now just the academically burnt out student. I’m getting a job for the first time this semester, and I’ll be volunteering to build up my resume. There are so many more incredibly essential things (both uni related and personal life related) that I have to do in the next six months and I don’t think I will be able to handle it all. The thing is, I have no other option. It is what it is, and I just have to deal with it. Therefore, what would you say is the best way to remain positive and what methods do you think are useful to reduce stress or at least calm yourself down in times such as those?

I’m so sorry for venting, I just wanted to give context to make my question make sense. Love ya Jade🫶🏼

no it’s okay don’t be sorry!!

well, firstly I would say that to -it is what is is, as gently as I can, that that’s not technically true. I’m so sorry because I don’t know your situation and you might be sitting there thinking well yes it is I have no other alternative, but that is the sort of thinking I had when I was in my first year of university , and it was so so damaging to me, I was so cruel to myself because I was trying to reach a level I could not get to no matter how hard I tried, and I considered this a deep personal failing when it wasn’t the case!! I truly don’t doubt that you’re in between a rock and a hard place and that there’s nothing else you can do, but if I can give you some advice it would be to try and slow down. Sometimes it’s necessary to fail a bit if it means you can breathe properly at night. I’m not sure if this is helpful to hear but when I first started uni I tried so hard all the time but I was exactly like you where I was incredibly burned out but I had always been a hard working kid (though I don’t think I personally followed the burned out gifted kid thing I was just more average and struggling when the work got really hard) and trying to force myself to perform when I just couldn’t hurt me so badly. I was really sick and I made myself worse. I’m not saying that that is what you’re going to do, but I guess what I am trying to do is gently suggest that it isn’t feasible to hold yourself to this standard, and even if it puts your life on pause or if it stunts your academic progress, you need to look after yourself, I’m really really sorry please take what I’m saying as like I know fully that I’m an outsider and I don’t know you and this isn’t even the advice you asked for, but as someone who I think has been exactly where you are I guess I’m suggesting what I wish someone had told me to do, which was to reach out for as much help as you can right now before things get unmanageable. I hate thinking you’ve been up all night worrying, no one deserves that sort of anxiety. Please get some rest if you can.

it’s so soso because this has actually made me want to cry, I have tears in my eyes writing to you, I’m just so sorry for you my love, I can’t imagine how awfully tired you must be feeling trying to carry all this weight and pressure by yourself, it’s a really horrible thing to feel so stressed out and you don’t deserve it. If you can take it easier please do, but now I’m gonna try and answer your actual original question as best as I can! I’m not sure anyone enjoys being told this but meditation can work! It really doesn’t work for everyone but it actually does for me, as well as trying to snap yourself out of the stress response. If you go on YouTube or TikTok there are videos where you follow along and they try to snap you out of your anxiety, when I was at my absolute worst they did help some. Better is to tell someone!! I would not have survived my worst moments if I didn’t have the blessing that is my nice and extremely patient friends, I have really paranoid anxiety and if I can’t get it out it stews so much and makes me feel like I’m dying and I can’t recommend enough telling someone about your problem in detail and getting some reassurance. If you can’t tell a friend or don’t want to, there’s a text service in the UK called SHOUT where you can talk to volunteers about how you’re feeling, but they’re extremely busy at night and never answered in my experience so if you do need to chat there’s more chance they’ll answer in the mornings. They will listen to anything related to suicide, self game, eating disorders, anxiety, stress, abuse, and it’s completely confidential, they just want to listen, and they genuinely answer you with real compassion and thoughts on your situation. there’s also some ways to stay positive I’m sure you know this but eating well and sleeping well can help, but obviously if you’re struggling to begin with it’s difficult to do those things. A few years ago when I was struggling with suicidal thoughts every day I started keeping a gratitude journal, and there’s a lot of apps for that but I used one called Finch!!! He’s like a pet at the same time. It’s hard to stay positive when you feel alone and like you’re carrying a lot, so I’d maybe suggest not focusing on positivity, because when you fail to feel positive that might be another thing to upset you !! I totally get why you want to though.

there are other things I personally do to stay positive. Not sure if you can do these things but, I carve out time for my hobbies even if it means I fall behind on chores! I eat way too much sugar which is terrible for me but it makes me happy! The same for fancy drinks, I’m much happier every day if I can wake up and have a cold drink lol. Also you can get lots of dopamine from quick things like yoga or phone games. Washing your face with really cold water can help!! Im sorry if any of this comes off as patronising or condescending that’s the opposite of my intentions, I just want you to be happy!! I think it really struck a chord in me because I know I’ve felt exactly the same way and I remember how impossible the situation felt for me. I hope so much that you can be nice to yourself while your circumstances are less than kind honey!!! You deserve some rest!