#i didnt want to post this to my main because i dont like how often i abandon aus

[weaselishmcdiesel]

karkat nepeta humanstuck pokemon au though?

[kinardsboy]

Prefacing this by saying i don’t hate Eddie or buddie in any way, im only tagging this as anti buddie so people can filter out criticism on a ship that they enjoy ❤️

This post doesnt really have a specific theme, I’m just kinda rambling here so bear with me lol

Something that has been bothering me for a while about the gay eddie hc, is that at least the canon basis/evidence for it, is honestly a little homophobic? Most often people claim he’s gay because of how he treats women poorly and how many failed relationships he’s been in and I just.. first off have you MET a straight man?? 😭 thats how they are..(For the most part). Secondly it’s a negative stereotype that gay men dont treat women well, so having that be one of your main points to make Eddie gay rubs me the wrong way, especially when it comes from non queer men. The other main point I see is the quote “it feels like a performance” but the thing about that quote is , its taken extremely out of context.

He was literally talking about being set up on dates, being FORCED to date instead of letting it happen naturally. Thats what feels like a performance.

I have never understood why Eddie also cant be bisexual if queer at all. he has been clearly shown to enjoy having sex with women.

And another thing that bothers me is that buddie fans shout all the time about wanting whats best for Buck, and then want him shoved in a relationship with a man that has never treated a romantic partner fairly. Again, this isnt Eddie hate but the guy needs serious therapy. He’s a good friend and a good dad, ultimately hes a good person too but he’s not a good partner and that wouldnt change just because he dates Buck.

Bob’s are constantly forcing a heteronormative role onto Buck, especially when it comes to taking care of Christopher and it just, thats not going to solve anything? Like at all? It really makes me feel like they dont understand mlm relationships at all, and what they look like and how they work, especially based on their reactions to how Tommy and Buck interact.

People probably arent going to like this take, but I see fics or posts that constantly put Christopher as Buck’s 1 priority and I just dont think its true. Dont get me wrong I really enjoy the relationship they have, but if any kid on the show has his highest priority, its Jee. Buck spends so much time with Chris because Eddie needs help, if Henren needed help or babysitting more often Buck would seem close to Denny and Mara as well. Im not saying Buck doesnt care or want to hang out with Chris of course, but I feel like people definitely overplay their relationship to an extreme extent. The same goes for buddie in general, especially these last few seasons I dont see buck and Eddie being any closer than eddie and hen or buck and hen or something. Especially considering in 704 Eddie literally didnt invite him to trivia which he knows (or should know) Buck likes lol

And another thing about Christopher is that they turn him into this buddie love child who is SO obsessed with his dad’s sexuality and its just so weird to me. They completely strip him of any independence and personality and turn him into this buddie advocate, and then put him away when he’s no longer useful or needed. Its ableism. Chris is his own character and his story shouldnt focus around Buddie or his dads romantic endeavors AT ALL.

Anyway if you read all of this thanks for indulging my rambling lol

[catboybiologist]

Okay i dont talk about HRT with people a lot and i started E when i was a teen so i actually didnt know estradiol injections were a thing until i saw your posts. I thought injections where a T thing and that we all got E through titty skittles.

I want to ask what the difference actually is because its piqued my interest. It sounds pretty annoying compared to a pill. Is it cheaper or more often covered?

also ps i know youre not my doctor but is 44pgml too low?

So first off, yes, 44pg/mL is way too low by any standard. The usual standard you'll see is 100-200pg/mL, but this is starting to be considered very, very low. More modern standards of care try for 200pg/mL at trough (the lowest you should be- on sublingual this doesn't vary much though). Generally 200-400 pg/mL is the more typical modern guidance. Your T is also very important here. It's very difficult to get your E high without your T going at least a bit down first.

With that said, self injecting E seems very intimidating at first, but has a lot of benefits, including but not limited to:

The main benefit is medical. Injecting E bypasses the liver. This means that you're stressing out the liver less.

This has an added benefit: you can safely get a much higher effective dose with little to no health concerns. Eg, Oral and sublingual generally have a limit of 8mg sublingual per day, and most of that gets completely destroyed by the body via the liver before it acts on estrogen receptors. Sublingual injections come in different forms, and the dose numbers aren't directly translatable, but no matter what you do, the effective amount of estrogen you're delivering is much, much higher.

Additionally, this means that your estrogen can safely get high enough to suppress T on its own. Once your T is down, and E stops being suppressed by T, the reverse will start happening- E will down regulate T production (up to a limit but that's an additional detail). That means something awesome- no blockers. No Spiro, no cypro, no bica- all of which have some concerns of their own beyond just E.

Yes, it is easier to access. Generic, sterile, injection supplies are easily available online in large quantities from reputable medical supply sources, and the injectable medication itself is generally cheaper and more likely covered by insurance.

This also means it's uh. Easier to access when access to HRT is... Non-conventional.

Whiiiiich also means another thing. Injectable medication is always limited by expiration time and the sterility of the vial, not the quantity it's packaged in. Which means that IF YOU KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING, you have flexibility in your dosage if you so choose. Eg, I have personally talked with my provider about how to do this safely, but I've recently tried dosages of estradiol valerate ranging from 6mg to 8mg a week. Again, remember that this isn't translatable to 8mg sublingual a day- 8mg EV injected a week is SO much higher than 8mg estradiol pills per day.

It seems intimidating, but honestly, I find a ~20 min routine on a Friday morning much easier to keep track of than taking multiple pills multiple times a day.

In general, it's considered the best HRT option, although most people ease into it with a period of time on sublingual first. If you can, get trained by a nurse to self inject the first couple of times.

[the-s1lly-corner]

tadc cast with a s/o who hates touch.

BUT when they finally get comfortable with the characters they get soooo touchy (as in hugs ,hand holding etc)

Sorry if i didnt make myself clear

And thank you for your work!! ;)

TADC cast x reader who's warming up to touch!

So sorry for taking so long to get to this anon <\3!! I recently went back to writing on mobile due to back pain from sitting at my computer and it's really done a number on my efficiency <\3

That said I hope you enjoy!

Side note does anyone know any tips on how to soothe sore throats? Preferably not with honey because honey naoes my throat swell and itch 😭😭

This post ended up being waaaaaay longer than I first intended so I hope yall are ready to eat up

LAST MINUTE NOTE I misread/misinterpreted this as "reader finally taking a step towards initiating affection for the first time" and not "they're already comfortable and LOVE touch" I am so so dumb but I already have this written <\3 I hope you enjoy this regardless anon 😭😭😭

CAINE:

I think Caine would struggle with the no touching thing especially since I see him being very affectionate both verbally and physically. That said I do think he eventually gets the hang of it and stops himself from throwing his arms around you for a hug... he amps up the verbal affirmations to make up for it though! He doesnt wanna make you unhappy so hes gonna respect your boundaries and take things slow!

As for when you start easing yourself into it, I think he would try to not make a big deal out of it, as not to risk embarrassing you. As someone who doesnt like touch as well as being hesitant to initiate it, I think I wouldnt want a big hoorah about it you know? But that's just me

He does subtly know hes proud of you for being able to take that step, even if you two are only holding hands via linking your pinkies together

POMNI:

I dont think pomni would be crazy about touch imo, she seems like the type to seize up when you touch her without warning. And I'm not saying that as something to be ashamed of because honestly me too. So I think this is one where you both need to have heavy communication in order to push past that and get used to touching one another ! Team work makes the dream work or however the saying goes

That said imagine you two grab each others hands bc something startles you/you both run from something (be it a prank from jax or an IHA or an abstracted) and you both just

Stare down at your interlocked hands. Experimentally squeezing each other before both relaxing into it

I think that would be a cute idea

RAGATHA:

Just like caine she is so so understanding. But unlike caine, she doesnt struggle all that much with trying go restrain from giving you physical affection. Ragatha naturally shows her love through quality time and gift giving, so she doesnt often feel the urge to wrap her arms around you, much less unprompted. Especially with your discomfort in mind

In the event that you come over to her, maybe lay your head on her shoulder while shes reading, I think she would stiffen up a little out of surprise, before gently leaning her heads against yours. Its nice, its quiet, and its comfortable. You two both peacefully exist like that for a while... good thing you guys probably dont have organs because ragathas heart would be pounding so fast, shes just so proud of you that the adrenaline kind of gets to her

JAX:

I think this might be the main one where there may be conflict.

Not because jax belittles your discomfort or tries to push the boundaries. No, I dont think he would, especially when you two get serious. Like would he probably poke you in the beginning before realizing it genuinely brings great discomfort? Yes. Would he stop when he finds out it's an issue for you? Also yes. Again, hes an asshole but I dont think he would be outright ab*sive

No, the reason why I think kay there may be conflict is because behind closed doors, jax can be very clingy and physically touchy, he would want to lay on top of you and hold you and that kind of stuff. That one ask with clingy jax hcs changed me

I think, if you ever try to initiate touch first he would say something kind of mean before he can stop himself. "About time" or something. Like he means it lightheartedly but like. He immediately regrets it, especially since that can just be so... eidkcmc.. when you're trying to come out of your shell in regards to something

Easily has the worst reaction, make him sleep on the metaphorical couch

I think he would do anything to fix that though, you're his lil bun afterall

KINGER:

Kinger is big on touch, he likes handholding and putting his hand on your shoulder. But ultimately he would respect you and not touch you.. honestly kinger can be the same way depending on the day. Either he hates touch and doesnt want anyone or anything touching him, or he needs to be held in order to keep his mind set straight. Poor guy. He just like me frfr.

Honestly gets a little spooked when you gently set your head on his lap, announcing you're going to take a nap while you two hang out in the pillow fort. Kind of gives a soft and surprised "oh!" Before going as still as a statue. Does he stay put? Does he run his hand through your hair? Does he keep up his bug ramble? Does he pipe down?

Ultimately he sits there quietly while you sleep

Expects that to be a one time thing, but he notices you're slowly becoming more physically affectionate. He outwardly shows his support and pride for you

ZOOBLE:

Another one who doesnt really like touch, but instead of it being a discomfort it's just a "I dont like it" thing you know? I mean what did you expect? Zooble doesnt interact much with people unless they're forced to, so it makes sense that touch isnt their thing. So this actually works out very well for you two.

Just like the pomni segment, you guys are going to have to do a lot of communication in regards to introducing stuff like cuddling and hand holding ect into the relationship and finding what works for you while keeping both parties satisfied. I think in the end zooble would be supportive, and even try to esse themselves into the whole thing. So you dont have to do it alone, you know?

GANGLE:

Honestly I think shes too shy and/or unconfident to initiate physical affection herself so the topic never really came up. Which... is a bit odd since it regards a comfort thing for you as well as gangle possibly thinking that you dont enjoy her company; assuming you never really tell her that touch brings you discomfort

But because we love healthy stuff here, let's assume you guys set down boundaries and stuff before getting together

I still think gangle would have some teeny tiny feeling that they arent the best for you. She knows its unfair to think that for both of you, but like. Its one of those nagging mean voices we all have/get at some point, you know?

Probably lets out a little squeak when you slowly wrap one of her arms around your hand and wrist. Kind of just stands there frozen. Too scared to speak up or move, fearing she would ruin the moment

Honestly I think gangle isnt used to touch (that isnt neutral or in passing), so this is going to be a little experience for her. You're both in this together now, basically

[stilljuststardust]

heyy stardusr, everything ok? wanted to ask something is in my mind a few days, i'm studying shifting since 2 weeks ago, and i understood that the main goal is to believe that its done and ignore the 3d, but what I didnt understood is, how can I know that i'm not just fooling myself? and assuming that i believed, my subconscious will work in reflect my 3d to my 4d? because i dont know if my 3d will just reflect randomly, like i take a nap and wake up in my DR, or just happens in any time. thank you a lot for your posts!!!

Hi!

(I know I JUST posted that I was going on a break and I am but a break for me really just means I'm not putting pressure on myself lol)

You know it's true because you say it is. You decide what is and isn't true.

I know it can feel really unnatural at first because we're taught our entire lives that the physical world is king, it decides whats true, it decides what you have and what your are.

So trying to accept that it's really just a mirror your internal reality can be really scary because it goes against everything we're taught.

Your subconscious believes everything you tell it, it doesn't know the difference between "fooling" yourself and normal thought.

We often fall into patterns when thinking, most of the thoughts we think are ways we have thought before, so all I'm asking you to do is break the pattern and create a new habit. And the key to any new habit is repetition. Think your thoughts as if you have exactly as you want.

Flipping your thoughts

"It doesn't feel like I'm in my DR" to "I can feel my DR"

Change any thought that doesn't align with what you want into something that does

Robotic affirmations

"I shift so easily"

Find a phrase that implies you have what you want and just repeat it over and over until it becomes habitual.

I have a schedule for when to affirm in my master list under "challenges". It's pretty basic just when you wake up and before you go to sleep.

You can do other things while you affirm, you can do chores or shower or anything really you don't have to mediate on it.

Live in the end

I know you asked me about this before and it seemed to confuse you so I'll elaborate.

All you have to do to live in the end is think about your desire as if you already have it and live your life that way.

"Oh right, I literally shift all the time. Why would I worry?"

None of these techniques require emotion, you can feel like shit, you can feel discouraged or anxious, it won't stop you.

[mobpsycho100]

I've been following your blog for a while, love your gifs.

I am going through my first pregnancy at the moment, do you have any advice?

congrats! ok so theres SO much advice i could give that i personally wish i knew back then but for brevity sake, im gonna try to hit the main points.

so not to be a downer about it but for me hearing this would have made me feel so much better back then. that being that pregnancy sucks and its ok to not love it and not love the aches, pain and fatigue amongst other VARIOUS symptoms but. itll be over before you know it.

also its fun and cute following along those pregnancy apps that are like baby is the size of a grape this week next week its the size of cherry tomato whatever but its literally so dumb lol. i wish i got more acquainted with the actual birth process and what happens after. knowing what to expect in the newborn stage is WAY more important.

another thing i didnt know! find out if breastfeeding is important to you or not because learning how to breastfeed and how that process words is really really hard. i wish i knew what i know now about breastfeeding it would have saved all those tears in the first 4 months of her life. if its even remotely something you want to do get well researched on it.

on the topic of labour, get acquainted with sitting leaning forward as much as you can help it, it will help make labour easier. dont over do it but exercise as you normally do, dont do what i did which is sit on my ass most of my pregnancy and it made me freshly post partum so much weaker and also lead to me tearing so badly while giving birth that for my next pregnancy they already said im gonna have to consider a C section so i cannot understate this point enough. on the note of tearing, learn about pelvic floor exercies and do them as often as possible.

lastly, take it as easy as possible after birth. get as much help as you can. sleep in as much as possible and just. spend the first 2-3 months relaxing and bonding. not just cause you need it but because ive been told by multiple relatives that any aches and pains you don’t heal by pushing urself too hard carry forward into the rest of your life so really take the time to heal.

[ganondoodle]

Oh man I saw your totk issues post and I agree 100%!! Those are all things that have really bothered me about playing totk, and things that made playing it not nearly as fun (the dungeons, the shrines, the building, etc).

Especially the map!! When I tell you I was so disappointed by the maps on totk, I was hoping for something new! It really just feels like a modded botw, not an official sequel.

I was wondering what your thoughts are on the concept of “what if they had sent link to the past instead”? So the surface map would feature huge differences in the land forms and buildings that exist, and we’d get to see more ganon whenever he visits Hyrule, or go out to the desert to see Gerudo town, etc.

If they really wanted no sheika tech, they could also just have it being newly built? And you could introduce the new characters and such, etc etc.

(I also think the past champions are such a missed opportunity? If botw is about grief and loneliness, and finding hope in the hopeless, and Totk is about coming together despite that, it could have been really interesting if Link had gone to the past! They could have used the past setting as an eerie reminder to what Link and Zelda had lost when the Calamity struck!)

THAT BEING SAID: I’m not as familiar with the legend of Zelda lore, and haven’t played totk very much! I wanted to know your thoughts on this because you seem to have a lot of story and game mechanic knowledge that could explain why this could be a bad/good idea!

(Plus, your discussions are always super interesting to read, as is your custom totk lore, so I’d love to know what you think🩷)

I’m sorry if you’ve already answered an ask like this! If that’s the case, feel free to point that out and I’ll go through your ask tag if you have one:) I hope you have a great day!⭐️

Hi!

im glad you enjoy my rants, i often feel like im being overly mean but tbh were else could i just rant as much as my heart desires without getting spammed by annoying people (certainly not on twitter lol)

i have talked alot, and i mean ALOT, about totk and my issues with it, both lore and gameplay wise, i dont claim to be an expert on any, though i am an old zelda fan and aspiring gamedev, i really only talk about what i feel about it, what i think about it, and by all means im biased as hell xD

if you dont know yet, the "ganondoodles rants" tag is where all my rants go, so if you are interested in reading more on my totk thoughts thats the way to search (given tumblrs search in blog works ..)

and to answers your question, i have touched on it briefly, sending link back in time before the shiekah tech existed would have been an easy way to excuse how they jsut got .. rid of it, bc they didnt, it literally didnt exist yet- and for reusing the map- though that argument falls a little flat bc ... they coud have already done that in present totk, like i brought up in one of said rants, things like flooding gerudo desert, collapsing death mountain, drying out zoras domain etc, and changing the location of the main populations would have already done alot without having to redo the map in its entirety;

the little changes to map itself really wouldnt that big of a deal if they didnt also send you to the EXACT same locations AND repeat the SAME LOCATIONS AGAIN but in the underground, like thats a fact i have talked about multiple times bc its so illogical in every way, anywhere theres a settlement on the surface theres a bigger mine below, its so stupid, the shrines conenct to a lightroot, the same, again, you dont need to explore bc theres nothing TO explore (its also extra weird bc theres one below taburasa (tarrey town) which .... link literally build with dumsda (hudson) a few years ago .. unless that got retconned too idk wth do i know anymore honestly- AND it makes the sonau extra weird bc why the hell do they have a bigass mine under every settlement ESPECIALLY UNDER GERUDO TOWN like, that just adds to my suspicions towards them)

anyway, link to the past was the point and yes, it could have solved a few issues (mainly shiekah tech and the whole "story" taking place AGAIN in the past completely disconnected from you the player) i personally am not so much a fan of it, but that mostly comes down to me just not liking time travel, i dont like going back in time, i want to play and do things in the here and now, i want to repair the damages of the calamity, find out its origins, maybe fix that too, i love to learn about past stuff too, but that more in text, no literal flashback (unless done well), i want to connect to the past but it also holds alot of mystery that maybe shouldnt be touched upon, some mysteries and unkowns are much more interesting when left as such, i want to THINK about things and come to conclusions that are logical and makes sense in hindsight even if it wasnt clear at the start, i dont want information and what to think about it told to my face over and over like im stupid

after botw i really didnt care much about the past, maybe about the acient hero who alot of people specualted to be of gerudo origin due to its red hair- which also got a monkeys paw curled bc in totk they do sth with but its so stupid and insulting that i do not accept it as canon, say what they want, there are no dog people anywhere in the past nor present botw/totk wtf is that i hate it- and its not even .. why is that the reward for that, it has literally NOTHING TO DO WITH TOTK ITSELF I COULD YELLLL AAAARGH

main point is that really, i wanted to explore the past .. in the present, i hoped to find broken old shiekah structures, old labs and maybe some left over damage and records from when the old king persecuted the shiekah for their tech, i wanted to know where the ancient energy the shiekah used was coming from, what the boss arena in the middle of hyrule castle really was- so many things just discarded and acted like they never happened or mattered; i dont want to travel into the past, i want to discover whats left of it, piece it together, discover dark secrets you can ask no one about bc all that knew about it are long gone- thats what intrigued me about botw, it felt like there was so much left to discover only for totk to throw it all away and just do its own thing .. but not commit to that hard enough either so its neither its own thing nor a sequel-

.. that wasnt really what you wanted to know was it? xD sorry i tend to ramble on if someone seems to give me permission to

to sum it up, i think it COULD work, sending link to the past instead, if done well, but so could canon totk have been, it could have been done well but wasnt for reasons i dont know and tbh even fear bc i worry its sets a dark future ahead of zelda; i personalyl am just not a fan of time travel so i dont have that much to say to it :O

[okifyouinsist]

tagged by @killerandhealerqueen (i just keep forgetting abt this one SIGH but i have free time rn and im committed)

1. why did you choose your url?

growing up, i just wasn't a social media girl purely bc of the fact that my parents were super strict and I assumed they wouldn't allow me to have it and I just never really saw the appeal anyways. Then later a few friends basically forced me to make my first account and because i wasn't very creative and thought i was the funniest bitch ever i made my first user 'ifyouinsist' and it just kinda stuck ig

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

nope. i fear if i had a sideblog id end up neglecting it and forget abt it or make it my new main blog and neglect this blog and this blog is literally my baby

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

well i've had an account since like end of 2019, beginning of 2020???? (im pretty sure) i didnt like use my account tho i just had it to look at other ppls blogs not my own, i only acc recently made up my blog up properly and started posting this year when it was like 2 am and i was on holiday to visit my home country and my mum and my aunts were gossiping and i was like whatever who tf cares how late i am to a fandom and the rest was history

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope, my drafts are a terrifying place and if they ever saw light id die

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

to reblog pretty art and to compliment writers on ao3 AND on tumblr bc they deserve everything and more

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

logan sargeant. need i say any more???? hes my bsf in spirit

7. why did you choose your header?

loscar. LOSCAR. loscar. i am very much totally normal abt them i swear (lying through my teeth rn). they're just my everything unfortunately and sometimes i like to say the fist bump is their version of intertwining their fingers together

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

ik this bc it was the first i myself made and it was abt loscar obviously and i thought i was SO funny (im not) and its lowk still such a flop post but its MY flop post so here it is :)

9. how many mutuals do you have?

idk man im shy (scared of rejection) so i dont have a lot, like genuinely let me go see acc, oh ig its me and my 14 moots against the world i love you guys fr

10. how many followers do you have?

BYE my 26 followers are my 4 lifers fr (im such a flop this is hilarious)

11. how many people do you follow?

37 (sigh need to follow more ppl RN)

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

im gonna be so real idk what defines as a shit post but most probably yeah

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

idk im acc really inconsistent like ill be MIA for 2 whole days and the next week ill be on tumblr like for most of my day when i can its very confusing like today ive not been on it a lot im academically locking in and all that

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

ummm no. like. if i see someone i follow getting hate ill send them a supportive ask and then at the end of it be like anon ur such a loser get a life but other than that. nope.

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

im very much neutral abt them, like idc if i need to reblog it yk if i want to i will if i dont then i wont

16. do you like tag games?

YES (said in a very normal voice)

17. do you like ask games

YES. i love getting asks id cry if someone sent an ask (i have one rotting away from a moot rn i WILL answer it i swear)

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

can i say all my moots. i wanna say all my moots they're all famous in my eyes guys, i start tagging its gonna end with all my moots being tagged but like @killerandhealerqueen and @dwarvenchords were the first 2 ppl to come to my mind theyre both just the coolest fr

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nah. i have FRIEND crushes on literally all of them tho. wanna be their friends SO bad

20. what is the last song you listened to?

Mamichula- Bizarrap

21. what are you currently watching?

in my docuseries era rn watching breakpoint (STILL)(i only have time on the weekends rn SIGH)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy?

sweet. im such a 'lets skip the dinner and just get dessert' kinda girl

23. what is your current relationship status?

this is SUCH a complicated question to answer but heavily leaning more towards single

24. what is your current obsession?

sports. like just sports in general. like ive always been a casual fan of sports but i never used to take a deep dive into it but this year i decided to dive, and i dived VERY deep, so like motorsports, tennis, football, cricket, trying to get into hocky rn im collecting them atp. also. documentaries. like when i get time ill be binge watching like 5 documentaries i just love them sm

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

wish i could tell you fr, i mean, rn im re listening to SOUR by Olivia Rodriguez AGAIN bc thats the way my life is going SIGH, Olivia is my favourite basic artist fr, nothing compares to listening to SOUR for the first time in 2021

ANYWAYS, thanks again for the tag i really appreciate it, im gonna tag @ezisregrettinglifedecisions @fabeong @whatssthepooiintt

[taxkha]

Is there a genre/story you want to do for your future webcomic?

I think your use of color is fantastic! Do you often rough in colors before finishing your lines? Was peeking at the wip you posted, and was curious about your process(👀👀👀)

my planned comic story, if I ever end up working on it, is gonna be fantasy, horror, tragedy! These three are my main characters:

And Maheloas is currently getting a redesign because I want him to be more asymmetrical but jfc its hard. I'm capital S Struggling. And thank you so much! Hm my progress really depends on how serious I take the drawing I work on and how easy it is for me to draw in that moment! For example for that one og trilogy AA fanart I did recently I only did this very rough sketch here:

and then I went into the lineart already without doing a clean sketch. Or I guess in this case my clean sketch is the lineart lol.

So for this drawing I didnt do any color blocking at all!

I then colored everything in. I usually just pick whatever color feels right so during this step I usually dont even fix much at all unless its super off. And then I start adding effect layers. For this one the amount of layers I put on top is very limited as I wasn't trying to do any crazy mood setting so this is what I did:

I usually put a light beige color on top of my drawing and then try out various layer settings and copy and paste it and then I play around a little with gradient maps, this purple to orange one being my favourite. Then at the very end I add a paper like texture on top and put it on 50% soft light to get that grainy look. Since you asked about me doing the color blocking in my wip, I usually do that when I draw something that is more out of my comfort zone to establish the shapes or when my sketch is becoming too incomprehensible for me so I need something to tell things apart. I hope this was helpful and thank you for the interest in my progress! :]

[amiryllisthorn]

I kinda want to talk about this idiot for a bit. I obviously dont want to talk about Valkyra’s character toooooooooo much since a lot of what is up with her tm is a big part of the game’s narrative, but theres a bit of a different aspect I wanted to talk about.

Valkyra lisiri was a character that was really just an awfully written character. She was this too cool for school didnt need any friends hyper competent soldier who was actually written as a bit of a villain. One who would rather defend the status quo rather than actually try to change anything. It was edgy and over the top and just bleh.

So how did she become the main character in the game I am most focused on? Well what ended up happening is I had a lot of ideas for games at the time, and threw this one together as a bit of a throwaway project with these characters as that I didnt really care for anymore and the idea was to make something short and move on as a bit of a prequel to the thing I actually wanted to work on.

(this sprite is two years old now! but you can see that the general look is still similar)

Well that clearly didnt happen, because the more I worked on this short throw away project the more I thought about what I could actually do with these characters. What I could do to make this setting more mine and not just rip off of sci fi series I liked. And as I wrote more and more the more things changed and were altered  to the point where any of it is barely recognizable anymore-and I love that so MUCH! 

It was no longer a prelude for another game I was working on or this half assed setting but has become something that I am incredibly passionate about! I told my self that I would try to focus on smaller projects but I cant keep myself away from this thing and these characters.

(o7 mech game concept we hardly knew ye-the concept was being on the run as a mech mechanic for a mercenary company where the gameplay revolved around fixing mechs)

While work is going much slower than I would like, due to mostly personal reasons, I really am proud with how things are really starting to come together for this project. I didnt really start focusing actual attention on it till probably the past year or so.

I think part of why this project means so much to me, is that it has taken something from a part of my past self that I dont really like, and made it into I think something far more interesting, far more fun, more technically impressive, and just so much gayer. And these once throwaway characters of little regards, have really become the core focus of the project.

Valkyra  Lisiri went from this heartless action hero who could do anything, to a much more general person, struggling through life and trying her best, and often her best was not enough. Those actions of course having their own painful consequences, that shaped her into the character she now is.

Siane Vokir went from this really bitchy agent of the state to someone who at the drop of a hat gives up everything to fight fascism, someone who now has trouble dealing with her past and people in general, and just so many layers to her character.

The game has been so thoroughly ship of theseus’d that all that really remains of the first like year of work is just some characters  have the same name and maybe a similar appearance, and that is just a fascinating and exciting thing to work with!

(the very first concept drawn up for the game. You can also see the original design for siane)

Anyways this post has gotten a little bit all over the place, but I guess I wanted to share some of this project’s history. I dont talk about the actual details as much as I should whenever I post stuff, because I have a pretty hard time with a lot of this stuff sometimes! I wanted to make posts talking more about the setting and the characters but that kinda got uh forgotten.... well maybe I will get back to that at some point.

if you made it down this far thanks for reading! I really do want to talk about all of these things more, and have been working at it. Maybe ill try to do a weekly post talking about game stuff but no promises, my brain is bad so Ill just leave you with these two nerds.

[starrynight-edits]

✨️ A RETURN ✨️

Hey! Its Wolf! Its been several months since we last spoke and ive decided that i want to restart up this blog! Requests are open once again! However under new circumstances!

During this haitus it has come to my attention that during winter i lose alot of my motivation to run one of these blogs. I get overwhelmed very easily during the winter and early spring months and often just cant complete requests because i dont find as much joy in it as i do during summer and fall. Because of this im now going to open this blog for summer and fall respectively with the new and improved expectation that i will be taking winter haituses regularly. Hopefully this will solve my never ending disappointment at inevitably having to remake every summer when i realize i didnt want to get rid of my old blog.

Im still going to be taking it a little slow so i dont overwork myself too early on so the Pesterquest Sprite limit is now at 3 requests at a time. This is because of two reasons, one, it can be very exhausting to do so many detailed requests too frequently, especially for free and two, i also enjoy doing many different kinds of edits and requests that get very sideswept because pesterquest edits are seen as my main thing. I want to branch out a little bit even if i dont get to many requests that arent pesterquest edits i would still like to have less so i have more time to make other edits on my own time if i wanted to.

To summarize there will be quite a few changes to how i do things around here but im hoping that all in all the changes will help me make more art for yall in the long run! I hope all of you have a wonderful day and thank you for taking the time to listen.

(Also I will probably replace the beginning of the pinned post here soon with a summarized version of this.)

[lesbianspeedy]

can I hear about the mia and ollie similarities whenever you have time...

theyre blonde :( thats it :( okay but ACTUALLY LETS GET INTO IT

They're loud assholes to people who need to be yelled at, but theyre actually hella introverted.

Mia "i think fast i talk fast" Dearden will mouth off at villains and batman, and take the piss out of people she loves. BUT she wasn't exactly shown to have like a friend group at her school (she was shown to be popular. but we only see her specifically interact with one person), and was extremely nervous to join the titans, not because they intimidated her, but because she didnt really...want to be there. She'd rather be with people she knows. She spends most of her time practicing archery, even before she was speedy. The only time we ever saw her go out anywhere was on a date with Dodger. And I will be pretending for the sake of this post that all of this is bc of character stuff and not just bad writing!

Similarly, Ollie "goateed loudmouth" Queen thrives when he's alone, he prefers it, he rarely spends time with people outside of his family or close close friends. He'll rant and rave at leaguers and cops and capitalists and villains all day long, but he's at his happiest and most content when he's alone, and often when on the move too, this man cannot sit still he is like a fucking shark he will die if he is in the same place too long but thats unrelated to this post.

As is pretty much a requirement to be in the arrowfam. Neither of them are here to fight the big alien threats you take on while being in the league/titans. They're here to save the little guy and fuck up capitalists. They have both seen the worst of society on the very opposite ends of the spectrum, Ollie with the rich, Mia with those the rich forget or ignore. I don't think I really need to add an example of Ollie here considering thats like his main this if u know anything about him. But look heres mia thinking abt it in her first titans issue.

Now with coping mechanisms they're a lil different, Mia tends to isolate and stay in one place. Ollie will isolate but fuck off somewhere. Accidentally walk to canada. That sorta thing.

(pls ignore how terrifying bald ollie is)

They also both mask their emotions and deflect with humour when around other people, they don't want others to have to deal with their shit, they don't want to burden them (hence the isolation, this also often leads to them imploding in on themselves). Heres my most favourite example of their similarities ever (yes I will continue to post and talk about this specific thing every 3 weeks and no one can stop me) I do owe Hester my life for this

Now heres the best part. They both did this a lot right. And yknow what that led to? Learning and growing and being there for each other :] Now im going to be honest we dont really see this growth in vol 3 bc judd winick is incapable of writing character development but! Phil Hester is here for us once again with his story in the 80th special and this part specifically <3

Also once again a whole arrowfam thing- neither of them give two shits about their secret id lmao. I choose to believe Mia is so flippant about hers bc she so easily realised Ollie was GA that she just went like. Yeah sure I won't give a fuck either, it's clearly working for him.

oh and they both like musical theatre, hate batman and are homophobic**. sad. **not actually thats just an in joke in fandom

[poopingonthefloor]

youu sshhould tell some headcanons u got for jack dave n henry if u want ofc

OK SURE! *glass shattering sound* (Some of these are not "headcanons" or are technically implied to be canon but im just going to list all of my specific perceptions regarding the character)

Long list down bellow. vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

-Dave and Jack both have adhdtism and borderline personality disorder. (((I also want to use this opportunity to apologize for any previous ignorance/rudeness i may have responded with before I'm a bitch but erm I am improving. so yeh also yeah i can definitely see Jack being autistic now too which i know i said i dont really see. it turns out my symptoms i projected onto him were also autistic symptoms so um...))) -Jack is a dog person, Dave doesnt have an animal prefrence but dogs suit him the best because he's dependent and sensitive and dogs love unconditionally, Henry has no feelings about animals however he dislikes dogs in particular. -Henry likes cartoon bears the best though. only cartoon versions.

-I imagine Dave as a child wasn't necessarily BULLIED by other orphans but he was treated poorly and excluded. Adult carers would try to befriend him but he was a "problem child" as a kid and didn't comprehend human boundaries (he never learned) so he made adults uncomfortable too. -I stole this one but if Dave was a cat he'd be a lykoi. henry would be a maine coon (jack is a default shorthair but i give him folded ears sometimes for fun) -My Dave was born purple (and also Henry is born pink) for reasons similar to Doggo's "why is henry's eyes evil" explanation. It's just different ways of their "evil" manifesting -- Dave's eyes are normal as a child however because obviously he isnt "evil" as a child, I imagine his soul is just weird and that he's never been fully normal. (because I'm not a fan of "x character if bad thing never happened" worlds where the character is basically just a normal person. Like its just more interesting if they were always an outcast/unusual from birth. Also it just makes more sense for Dave's character since he is never shown to be normal in any way even in the flipside LOL....also because Dave is often described as "not exactly human")

-Henry however just quickly grew to be jaded and resentful of anyone and anything living. Either from his dad or just that being his personality (but I prefer both). He wasn't outcast and he got along with people when he felt like it but he just hated everyone. -However I imagine Henry always had a childish side to him that enjoys more cartoon artistry and performance. -Henry and Dave gesture similarly when expressing excitement/enthusiasm, though Henry gestures very little most of the time. Henry either expresses exaggeratedly and cartoonishly (but comes across condescending) or not at all.

-Jack likes to watch TV but Dave does not and finds sitting still and watching pictures on a screen boring. (Though certain movies/shows are an exception) -Back when Dave still had simple desires/pleasures (before the lobotomy) he always wanted to have a pet but animals always hated him (because he didn't know how to handle them gently).

-Henry has no romantic or sexual desires whatsoever. He had a wife and child simply because Martha confidently expressed interest on him and he decided to lie to her. The only motive really involved was the societal standard of having a family/having a kid to continue his legacy (but henry didn't really need that to spread his didnt he lol..)

-Alongside that Dave is pansexual and Jack is bisexual (with a prefrence to men) but those are obvious -Dave appears stiff however can contort his body disturbingly (flexible), Jack is normal and appears in great condition for a corpse... (mostly due to makeup (nail polish emoji))

Ok thats all for now so I don't make this post longer than LONG. thank you for asking my headcanons though. ^__^ I love being crazy and sharing my opinions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[helluvabossrewrite45]

Hello, I just wanna say that your scene rewrites are amazing. Seeing Stars has got to be one of my favourites.

On the topic of Octavia, I agree that Viv and her team missed an opportunity with Via. To me in the context of the narrative, Octavia can be a tragic character that is screwed over by the writing. It is implied that she takes after Stolas with her love of astronomy as their form of bonding. Yet, she slowly watches her father drift away from them and is probably wondering if they—she even matters to him. You’re just watching a parent that you had a close bond to just leave you behind because they found someone else that captivated their interest. On top of the divorce that is currently going on would leave a child feeling doubtful.

I also just never understood why the writers want to keep having her being mad at her dad, even though they say that Stella has clearly been ruining the family, yet it’s his fault? Half the time the writing seesaws on Stella and Via’s dynamic because the only time she does care is when Stolas is there and…I get that could be counted as gaslighting, but the character lacks subtlety that it’s hard to tell when she’s always yelling. More often she doesn’t even care for her with two episodes implying this.

I just in general feel frustrated with this family because either avenue could be interesting if the writers took it seriously enough but they don’t and instead choose spur of the moment scenes that we have to use as jigsaw puzzle with some pieces not fitting because world building barely matters.

Sorry for the ramble. You’re version or fix it is probably one of my top favourites for the characters because I can definitely see the use of the loosely outlined jigsaw puzzle. Have a nice day/evening.

Thank you anon, im glad you like my rewrites

I agree 100% with via, they did the same thing with moxxie to her, that being repeating the same arc again of her being mad at her dad but forgive him in the end. It kind of shows that just like moxxie, they didnt know what to do with her which is a shame because the small details she has are there to be fully explored, but they never explore them. Like her and music, she oftens listens it even at the dinner table and with stellas reaction to the cheating affair, we can peice a puzzle of her doing it as a coping mechanism; escaping her problems through distraction. And with seeing stars main plot is around via running away to see a meteor shower, it would've been perfect to explore that side of her along with more knowledge of the family in general to piece this puzzle their giving (like the relationship with her mom, her uncle, the rest of their family, how they react to the situation, how their currently dealing with it, etc...) through flashbacks (since the whole point would've been that these issues wont go away no matter how much you try to ignore them) And yes, her closeness with her father drifting away is definitely tragic and its sucks that it wasnt futhered explored, especially with the entire goetta situation as a whole since were in season 2 and we dont even know how they reacted to it. It makes me wonder why even give us these pieces to solve properly if its so little that it makes it pretty impossible without theorizing from any vague info we have and thats not how problem solving works.

And yes, its odd that shes only mad at stolas but never to stella. I mean, i get she would be on her moms side because of him cheating but still with how stella is written, you'd think she'd hate her too. In this rewrite, stella would actually be subtle in her abuse to stolas in a way where you can still recognise it but also understand why other (like via) wouldnt. An example of this would be my first post where her and stolas confront each other about the divorce, the quote; '-or did you forget? Like you always do?'. Its meant to showcase her most common tactics, shaming. From her background (that i'll explain further in her own post), she oftens picks up things from her family, which shaming is included. She would shame stolas whenever he makes a mistake or does something she doesnt approve of (like if he wore a suit she didnt like, she would say; 'you know were meeting your family right? You think they want to see their son of royalty in that sort of wear?' or them arguing on how much time via should spend on her astronomy lessons; 'Shes going to be a future you and what, you wanna just, make her lazy, huh?!' (or even 'I didnt think you'd care that less for your own daughter....') See these are what you could recognise as shaming but also understand why people may not consider it so, potentially using excuses like 'oh shes probably right because its royalty/she just cares about looking good enough for her family' or 'oh she just cares for her daughter and her future' (ironically enough, those are kind of what fans AND the show itself use as an excuse for stolas lmao) but just because via doesnt recognise stella's abusive tendencies, doesnt mean she isnt upset with her. She very much is, mainly with stella's aggressiveness as stella developed anger issues throughout her life and didnt have anything to help it. Via hates it whenever stella yells because of course she would be, no one likes angry loud noises! Its just that unlike with stolas, shes not as open with her frustration to her mother because shes genuinely scared of her from that aggression that makes it much more harder to truly express her feelings about her, instead keeping it to herself along with her feelings towards how the rest of the family is reacting to it given that it just feels too much for her to be involved in. So the reason why shes only open on being mad at stolas is despite what he did, he's the only one she feels safe in being mad about (I mean, she does have andrealphus as someone safe to an extent though he's very dismissive of telling her whats going on with the goetias and definetly doesnt take being wrong well like stella so hes not much better) that way, it'd be more understandable and futher peice the puzzle of their family and their dynamic. Family itself is quite complicated because of the nuances it has behind it and i wanna incorporate that to the goetias were their not fully evil but tend to care about their statuses rather then whats right in front of them (that being them as a family) since i think its interesting to explore and wouldve suit stolas, stella and octavia really well.

No need to apologise for rambling, i like getting asks of peoples thoughts/ideas on helluva. Hell look, im rambling too. I hope you enjoy the future rewrites i have in store, have a nice day/evening too

[crimsonsharked]

you dont have to answer this ask but i'm just curious about it

but dont you write alessio as trans and without surgery? so whats wrong with the other person making their character trans? idk all the details or extents of everything but i'm just a little confused

like yeah if they're being transphobic then thats a fuckin problem and again idk the details so i'm sorry if i'm missing important things

but i just dont see how its weird if you write alessio as trans and without surgery and everything too but please correct me if i'm wrong or anything

regardless its stupid how people are sending you drama and i'm sorry you're being harassed with it

really the best thing to do is just block and black list and let them be weird and obsessed somewhere else

you're doing an amazing job with your blog and art and writing so dont let some idiots ruin your time here

anyways i just didnt know like how its weird that someone else writes a character as trans without surgery and you do the same but i'm probably missing things so i apologize if so

dont let me or anyone else annoy you with stupid drama and i hope you have a great day and please keep giving us more alessio and ambrosi!!

Addendum: I misread the first part: I don't care if people write trans characters, my specific issue with the aforementioned user is how they went about it as a fellow non-cis individual.

I don't have any issue with writing trans people without surgery or getting pregnant, the only reason I said it was oddly transphobic was because of how often and in the context a transmasc character is getting pregnant.

(warning for a looong rant)

I do not care if you sexualize trans bodies, I am transmasc myself, it's cathartic to me. However if your main sexual focus of the character is that he is trans and CAN get pregnant, that might be an issue.

It's not good, it's like focusing on a transfem person having a dick constantly and her being able to use that dick.

Again, I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with sexualizing trans bodies, nothing wrong with trans people getting pregnant or the ability to become pregnant, trans people can and do get pregnant. It's completely how you as a person talk about it and how you present it. If again you are constantly bringing up pregnancy for literally anyone in a sexual context, it's a fetish, and then you tack it onto a trans-masc person? that's a fetish.

This is a fetish: There was no reason to write this post like this. If it was worded differently I might have felt a different way but it's not

"My muse is transmasc and identifies as male. Uses He/Him and The/Them pronouns. They have not had top or bottom surgery. They can become pregnant."

If it was worded like that (not exactly) i'd feel differently.

I am all for exploring transness in a sexual space, but there's a hardline between kink, sexual, and an outright fetish. This applies to anyone EVEN if you are trans yourself. Like I'm black I can be racist to black people, if I call another black person a slur with intent to harm, I'm being racist. If a transperson says and does things that are harmful to the trans community they are being transphobic or at least hurtful.

"I'm not cis" isn't a good defense anymore, yes, you're not cis, so you should know better. My biggest issue with St0ls wasn't even THAT specifically, it's the constant dredging up of drama, after making several apologies REPEATEDLY, then doubling down on past actions and still bringing up people who want nothing to do with them. AKA ME. 2 weeks isn't enough to change. Change takes a long time, months, and years. This is coming from someone who was objectively a TERRIBLE friend and person to be around. I wouldn't have even brought up the entire fetish thing if I had never been brought it up. I'd have kept my thoughts to myself, when I say leave my black ass alone, I mean it.

Also, I do want to clarify I explore transness from the lens of a Black Trans person! So I write all my characters from that specific lens of growing up AFAB and being treated AS a man, and never a woman. So I tend to write Alessio being a transman but wanting to explore his feminity and sexual side of that!

[kibblemode]

i want to know more about griff so badly. what's his deal. also he is hot as hell. just to be frank

LMAOOOO you are based af. heres my existing griff lore

so basically he was born in derahdun, india BUT as a small child he fell off a cliff (i do have an episode where he reunites w his childhood bff and his mom in s4 or 5) and Somehow ended up being found by his adopted father (ringo) in dublin, ireland through a situation i have yet to properly flesh out LOL. anyway his dad happens to be a mob boss and once griff is older he works for his dad as an assassin along w his 2 younger sisters (rose + poppy, theyre twins btw LOL) who ringo also adopted. so that goes on for like a few years or so until griff is now around 18-19 or so and decides he actually wants to go to college to study psychiatry and Eventually gets his phd but the job market is abysmal and hes somehow unable to find a job. after a couple years he meets grem completely by chance and grem tells him abt hydro and for some reason griff is like yeah ok and Now works for hydro. i think hes like. the 3rd person that hydro hires? idk. anyway after around like 6 or so years of working for hydro its less like a job and more like a vague found family thing now ÷)

also some general stuff i talked abt this vaguely but he and pixie are besties just bc pixie sees him as sort of a guardian/big brother figure + hes the only one who bothered to learn to communicate w her (shes selectively mute, also shes scary and fucked up and nobody else likes her lol) ^_^ also hes a very good artist but doesnt draw that often bc he doesnt really have time for it

and btw he wears his mask thing bc Originally it had 2 purposes when he was working for ringo 1. it was so he wouldnt be recognized when commiting generic mob crimes and 2. when hes Not doing that it served to be a way to make him more approachable bc his face is badly scarred bc u know. now its That and also mostly just bc hes had it for so long it feels weird to Not wear it. also theres no griffon colonies in ireland so hed never seen another one until he was like 32-35ish. tgeres an episode or 2 abt that lol. and BECAUSE of this he has a huge cultural disconnect w other griffons and he cant fly and probably never will just bc he was never taught. i mean ringo did Try but hes a rabbit so obviously that didnt work. its a very big issue for him thats more prominent like post s4 bc i feel like itd be really sad to see how hes Supposed to look/act vs how he actually does bc he was raised so differently ÷( i love him hes one of my favorite main villains

also oldddddd pics his sisters i tried to find a pic of ringo too but i dont have any uuuugh i literally never draw them lol