#i didnt want this to be sad. im just trying to figure out what kind of man i am and some of that is letting myself like things just because

[dragonwolfe22]

I started feeling bad that I've been super into DC movies and comics this last month, but y'know what? Fuck that. I am living the teenage boyhood I didn't get the first go around.

Comics and superheroes aren't a boy thing, but they weren't really presented as an option for me. So now I'm going to like them in a BOY way and no one can stop me! MUAHAHAHAHA

I'm going to the COMIC BOOK STORE today! I'm going to be a weird little nerd about it! I want batman sheets! And spiderman pajamas!

[mmyneonlights]

i think i need to eat a fucking bullet

[opal-owl-flight]

For the Future.

Got a new cloud brush that I wanted to test out! Then it became a whole writing spree abt 3's dreams WJEJK. Just A Squid will continue soon.

More deets abt 3s dreams under the cut!

Maybe its bc I was sitting in a conference room earlier today. But I basically asked them about their dreams while there... why they keep doing what theyre doing.

In my minds eye I saw them flying a kite.

“(I want to protect the world. Keep it safe.

…Let it stay safe so the children can continue to do what Im doing now.)”

…but what about you?

“Four wants to become an engineer, and Laika wants to try out the music scene. Me?

My time for that has long gone.”

:(

A soft chuckle. With a hint of yearning, quickly hidden with a gentle smile.

“(Dont feel sad. Ive found purpose in what I do. Im doing it so everyone else can follow their dreams.

Its also a job.

Its okay that I dont have to love it all the time.)"

…if you had the choice to live a different life, would you?

“(…I dont know if I can answer that yet.

If I didnt live the way I have, where would everyone else be?)"

You can still have fun, you know.

“(You see this? This is fun! Watch!)”

and they twirl that fancy kite theyre flying.

“(I made it myself.)"

...the twirling stops, and their eyes kind of mist over. They look down, into the threads they were manipulating.

“(Listen.

I do have a dream. Its to live in a world without war.

…Im doing everything I can to make that come true.)”

and once youve achieved that peace, what then?

The kite twirls again, making a figure 8 over and over. 3 shrugs, eyes following the figure.

“(Maybe Ill fly more kites.)"

------------

3 doesnt have...dreams beyond their captain duties/related to war and if one asks them enough, theyll find out that what 3 does in peaceful times are what they once did in childhood

Clutching onto what little they were allowed to experience; flying kites, singing songs, making art, remembering stories

Its something that hurts so damn much to see,3 clinging on their nostalgic memories and yearning for more of those moments.

They dream for peace, for rest. the reason they clutched on those memories was bc it was the few times they experienced that kind of peace

[idontego]

We Should Make Up | Kaji x Reader

Summary: This is kind of a part 2 to the break up headcannon i wrote. Kaji sees you entering a bar and can’t help but seek you out and try to make amends with you after your breakup.

A/n: This was so rushed bc i have somehwere to be so i will more than likely go back and make adjustments to this! Let me know what you think! ALSO TOMORROW’S EPISODE WE GET TO SEE OUR MAN AGAIN IM SOOOO EXCITED!!!!🤍

Warnings: breakups, alcohol, suggestive toxic relationship habits, co-dependency, swearing

It was out of the norm for you to go out, and by go out i mean bar hopping, drinking in public places with your friends or worse- strangers. It had been a few months since you and Kaji split up and as much as you didn’t want to, your friends finally convinced you to go out with them. You wanted to hurl at the idea of Kaji finding out about you going out and even worse, drinking on top of it. It was one thing that he would be upset over, strictly because he always felt the need to watch you and be with you out in public only to protect you and it was another thing, because he imagined how easily you could be taken advantage of if you were intoxicated. Just the thought of these things could easily set him off.

You entered the bar wearing a black mini dress with a corset top, squeezing your rib cage and extenuating your breasts and a regular pair of heels that were semi comfortable, nothing over the top. You didn’t know where this night would end but your friends were sure they’d help you make the most of it.

Meanwhile, Kaji sat in his room preparing to patrol and do his almost daily routine of also checking up on you from afar-watching. He was walking down the same street you were on and was concentrating on individuals around him-scanning the area for any threats, and that’s when he saw you. His eyes immediately widened and his jaw dropped almost to the floor as his lollipop hit the ground. He was shocked seeing you in such close proximity to him and you were wearing that?! And you were here?! But you looked so good, so tempting. His eyes examined your figure until he shook his head and ripped open another lollipop wrapper, tossing it in his mouth. His face of shock quickly turned into anger. He looked left, right, and left again to see if anyone he knew was about to see him enter the same building you were in. Kaji did not go out, ever. He didnt like the people, didnt like the setting, didnt like the idea of sweaty shit faced people rubbing up so close to each other, especially you.

His eyes met yours amongst the crowd- if looks could kill, he would be the embodiment of it. You’ve never seen him glare this hard before. Or at least not at you. “Oh shit.” You mumbled under your breath. You swiftly turned your head around in the opposite direction, which was a sad attempt at playing off seeing him-hoping he didn’t recognize you.

To only make matters worse, when you turned around, you bumped into a guy’s chest causing him to spill his drink. “I’m so sorry. Oh my gosh.” You apologized.

“No worries! I’ll just get another one. Why don’t you come with me to get something for yourself as well.” He said with a big grin on his face.

“Uh, sure!” You replied following him. Could this be your escape from Kaji’s glare? Did he lose you in the crowd by now?

You approached the bar and waited on your drinks when you heard a gruff voice behind you and their body heat against your back. “Hey!” Kaji said with the same glare on his face.

“She has a boyfriend ya’ know.” He proceeded

“Oh, really?” The guy questioned.

“She does.” Kaji confirms. Kaji already made his point very clear to this man and you and his stance and the look on face had ‘do not fuck with me’ written all over it.

You closed your eyes in an attempt to disappear but this was actually happening.

“I dont actually.” You blurted out. “In fact-“ Kaji cut you off grabbing your waist and leading you out side of the bar.

“What the hell are you doing her-“

“Did you really think finding some random drunk guy here would solve all of your problems? What were you thinking? Did he try to get with you?”

“Kaji, that’s not what i was hoping would happen. The girls wanted me to go out with them just for tonight because I’ve declined every other time because it still just didn’t feel right to do something like this even though we aren’t together. You know just as much as i do that i never liked going out or drinking.”

“This dress looks really good on you by the way. It’s a shame i never got to see you in it til’ now.” He said rolling his eyes and completely disregarding what you said.

You blushed at his compliment and your heart began to flutter again. Gosh.. why does he have to have this effect on you. “Kaji, we need to talk.” You said, looking at the ground.

He lifted up your chin, so you’d look him in the eyes for what he was about to say. “I agreeI just want to start off by saying that you don’t know how hard these past few months have been for me. Losing you was one of the hardest things for me. I didn’t know how to cope. My friends tried to help me, but i pushed them away. Everythin’ everyday made me think of you and i was completely consumed with the idea that you were gone for good. I was obsessed with the thought of why we ended things the way we did and I felt like i couldn’t protect you as much as I’d like which drove me even more crazy. I lashed out on anyone that we’d get in fights with-exceeding my limits and going over board because i wanted to make sure people like them never got a hold of you. There’s so much more but i-“

You cut him off with a kiss and your eyes were filled with tears. You had the most intense feeling of regret and sorrow for him and also the mourning of your relationship. You wanted him back. You needed him just as much as he needed you. You wanted to make things right. He rested his hands on either side of your waist and you kissed you back-matching your passion.

“I’m so sorry, baby.” You pulled away from the kiss wiping your tears.

“It’s fine. missed you, y’ know?”

“I can’t ever lose you again. I knew we’d come back tho.” You managed to smile and even let out a giggle while saying.

[dnpbeats]

No but actually on the topic about the fuchsia phone case joke. I sometimes find it so hard to reconcile the images and videos of them then, with a)the two idiots we know now, but also just the two people we now understand them to have been at the time.

I see dan making a slightly off colour joke about phils phone case looking gay, and then i think the scared closeted 20yr old, trying to desperately figure himself out, and qhen i try to match them up, in some ways it makes so much more sense and in others it feels like my brain is short-circuiting.

I guess I just always wonder what those jokes and comments actually meant to them at the time. When I first started watching them, way back in 2015, I always understood the jokes they made as being in the same context as when my straight peers/friends made them. Misinformed but not malicious. As coming from the perspective of a straight person who didnt really think about what they were saying. But now obviously we have context, and now im a full raging lesbian myself, who similarly made gay jokes/comments when I was still in the closet, and I'm just starting to realise what mustve been going on in their heads. Like, im not saying the fuschia phone case comment was some desperate desire to be free and open or whatever, it was a joke and it wasnt a particularly deep one, but there is an added layer to it. Dnp laughed for more than just the fact that the 'fuchsia phone case looks gay'. They laughed bc they knew who they were, they were making fun of the whole 'having a purple phone case means your gay' concept in the first place, and they were just two closeted 20-somethings, existing in a world that wasnt ready for them yet. And yeah it was just a stupid joke, but thinking about it too much has made me a little emotional so here we are.

Hi!!! I totally understand this. It’s been wild going back and watching their content with the knowledge we have now. Like I, as most people did, presumed they were queer before they came out. But it’s absolutely a different experience thinking that and knowing that. While I was watching ditl it hit me that like. They were a closeted couple while filming that, and that’s not speculation, Dan confirmed that. And it kind of hit me in a way I can’t describe, but honestly part of it did make me sad. Just like, knowing what it must’ve been like for them. And I totally get what you’re saying about the gay joke. Like for them obviously part of it was like “oh haha making a gay joke when we’re gay!” But it’s also like… making a gay joke because you’re closeted and that’s as close as you can get to publicly being yourself. And even then, whatever the exact joke was, they cut out part of it. Which honestly was probably a good call lmao but, yeah. I agree that specific joke wouldn’t have been some like grand moment in their lives or that it’s that deep at the end of the day. But it’s just knowing that things/jokes like that were probably a regular occurrence and for a while that was like what they had yk? Making gay jokes and then cutting them out, because they didn’t want them to be misconstrued but maybe bc they hit a little too close to home

And now look at them. Joking about eating jizz on the gaming channel for all the world to see

[losersroom]

could u directors cut the conversation of gay90s where it's like "I’ve been thinking about April. You know, before I left." to "“Absolutely,” says Brock, who has never understood anything less in his life"....whatever pieces of that that u want to!! i just love that conversation and would love to hear ur behind the scenes!!!!

GOD so like. alright that whole fic grew out of a conversation me and g were having Forever ago about this post, particularly the second point. and i was like, oh hey, that reminds me of this story i wanted to write about brock going to the gay 90's. and then i sat on it for like two more months.

so the important thing to take away from this is that it was only ever supposed to be that first part, where brock and jonas run into each other and then jonas sucks him off and they kind of subtly agree to not talk about it, the end. but like, i am at heart a gigantic sap and i wrote up to there and realized i couldn't leave it on the final line of. it can never happen again. because i too have been gay and closeted and sad about it, and i didnt want to give all that to brock.

(the other thing, which you didn't ask about but here it is, is like. a lot of these thoughts and attitudes i gave brock in that fic were just... how i felt, about myself and queerness and everything, at age 21/22, born and raised in the midwest. and like obviously i grew up and got over it and i'm extremely queer and trans and married now, and i want to think, hey, in this universe i'm constructing, it can get better for brock, too. we just have to get him there.)

anyway i had to then construct like. a narrative throughline from blowjobs to some sort of mutual understanding. ive said this before but i always think it's fun in these things to like, present brock's opinions and perspective and expectations and just pepper in around the edges hints of what jonas is actually thinking and feeling and doing, which. doesn't always line up. and then make people guess what's going on in his head, same way as brock is guessing. what i HOPE people took from that scene is that, you know, that whole summer brock spent thinking about jonas, jonas was thinking about him, too. trying to work out in his head if brock being there was a one-time thing or if there's an opportunity to have something more. and i DONT want to get into whether or not i think jonas actually has a history in this continuity with any of the people that brock imagines he might, because i think it's more fun to leave people room to draw their own conclusions, but he definitely has more experience with Being Queer In The NHL than brock does, and navigating that world, and being just. careful about it. exercising caution. he might want to mess around with brock again, but he has to approach it with discretion, you know, in case brock... Isn't into that. (but in my heart, because i'm me, i also like to think that jonas is interested because it's brock, not just because he's there and potentially the only one of their teammates available. u know. in my heart everybody's in love, im a romantic, i can't help it.)

so that scene was just intended as like. connective tissue. but it wound up being my favorite part of the entire fic lol. just the... palpable awkwardness of trying to figure out if a guy is interested in you. being on the same page without really being on the same page. and then jonas choosing to just hang out awkwardly and watch a terrible movie at 2 am with brock not just because he cant think of another way to extract himself from the situation now that its clear theyre not going to fuck, but because he sincerely likes spending time with this idiot, lmao. that's Real. that's a move i would have done, when i was dating.

[sirensea14]

Now listen 'ere partner, I'mma need that list or mayhem songs 🤠 also I'd love to know more, I've always loved weird ships that come out of nowhere with little to no possibility of it even being considered ( evident by my Marcus x cup ship, I actually don't know where that one came from) and I always love learning about them and why they happened :33

Wait-wait-wait--WHAT??!! SO YOU'RE TELLING ME THERES SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO SHIPS MARCUS AND CUPHEAD? 😨 Now thats... quite cursed... didnt even know that exists...

But anyway here's the songs with some explanation

Bendy songs:

Instruments of Cyanide (DAGames)

My favorite bendy song, i had different versions of this song as an animatic for inky mystery (i want to animate it but i dont have enough skills to do it yet and its quite long) but there's this one particular version in my head where in WitchBrew was singing chorus 1, Mayhem and Not-Cup had their hands as if spinning the cog with Cuphead and Holly on it.

This is the art for it.

Behind the curtain (squigglydigg)

(Watch the mv first so u can get what im saying lol)This one is where Cuphead is henry and alice angel was holly-turning-to-mayhem. Mayhem taunts cuphead about the fact that he didnt manage to save holly from the cog

Alice's Tango (You will be mine) by chi chi

Literally just Mayhem dancing tango with Not-cup. He might be newly possessed since i imagined this with him having a bitter expression. (Compared to the art ones where he is smiling af lol) But yea, but him frowning or smiling and dancing with mayhem is still him dancing with mayhem, no matter whoch expression you or i choose lol

All eyes on me (squigglydigg's verison)

I love the og one, Or3o's version, but the og one's for sarah, it had some sweet evil girl tone in it. Whereas Squigglydigg's ver had Alice with a kind of that evil woman voice which is suiting mayhem. Its about her capturing the questers, tying them to a chair and make them watch her sing as they show her that they suppressed her from the cog. Cuphead manages to escape (Oh no no no no babe, hey!;- this is the part of the song where she caught cuphead loose from his ties) and i then she becomes insane as she sing and captures him back while pointing at him, blaming him for uhh everything...? *shrugs* lol

Are you proud of me now? (DAGames)

Ah yes, also one of my favorite songs. This is about holly and cuphead pulling the cog in replacement of audrey and the ink machine in DAGames mv. They bury the pressure that is put on them the the bg figures (Holly: bendy, fanny and cuphead. Cuphead: vicious,fanny, holly and mayhem) and then Mayhem is trying to pull Cuphead into madness when a memory ball revealed that holly is mayhem that is fully influenced by the cog. Cuphead back steps as mayhem is trying to get at him.

Lemme tell ya bud, giving this into detail is quite hard, but i told ya this the best that i can

Now onto the non-bendy songs!

Show yourself (frozen 2)

Hehe, quite weird to see a disney song here eh? XD but basically, this song is about Holly discovering the powers of the cog and some runes in some kind of old hidden Micco Cave. She followed the light where it leads her to Lukahd singing her and transforming her into Mayhem. The questers appeared at the end of the song and Mayhem raind down a cloud of runes she summoned. Cuphead was left flabbergasted at what happened. Alice's angel runes and bendy's demon magic protects them from the attack.

A sad song (we the kings)

This one is based from the Gala heartbreak. Holly goes into full mayhem which makes cuphead heartbroken as she shows bloodlust. But we also get to see Holly's pov which is cuphead laugh off and having fun with fanny and walking away from her as they talk.

And heres the most heartbreaking part; mayhem holds cuphead in a chokehold with her magic as she floats on her broom. Cuphead looks at her with teary eyes, but Mayhem showed no remorse. She was smiling ear to ear as she watched him in pain. Her memory of being holly and messing with the jokester cuphead is vanishing. She chose to ignore those aching memories because of the pain he caused.

Enchanted (taylor swift)

Aint a swiftie but ngl this song is amazing. Perfect for colly heartbreak. Again, this is based from the gala. Also goes along with the storyline of A Sad Song. But this is more on holly's pov tho. This also includes some moments from the gala, when she spied on the cupbros (cuphead hung her on a tree) etc. and then shifts to mayhem attacking cuphead with regrets carved on his glassy eyes.

All of this is kinda hard to get into detail, i tried my best and thats it. Hope u understand my explanations😅

Meanwhile, heres a WitchBrew song but them in a fight:

Devil's Gambit (fnf: indie cross)

Yes, you read that right, an fnf song XD

This one's cool cuz i imagine Notcup having a bit of characteristics from Nightmare Cuphead's form (indie cross).

Kind of like this.

I imagine him assisting Mayhem of defeating the Questers cuz they were on a hunt for them during the song. Mayhem unleashing her most horrifying abilities and Cuphead shooting blazing hot pink bullets. He still has all of the potion bullets like the chaser, lobber and peashooter etc, its just in pink.

Or possibly theyre fighting sarah, instrument boris and the night terror cuz sarah considered mayhem (and possibly notcup) as anomalies.

Welp, i think ive got it all covered up lol. A LOT was running in my head back then when i was a silent fan.

Holy cuss its 11:30 pm XD i should wash myself now cuz its getting quite late (imstillnotsleepyhelpandimhungry)

Im still wondering how tf did someone got the nerve to ship marcus and cuphead💀

[hellonerf]

OHH same anon as lasg time!!! now rhat we have confirmation of relationships can we maybe get a list of em?

OK... i will try my best... keep in your mind i am ame guy i always think about ame its a torturous existence but i will use this opportune to explain my 2ptalia. i wont make a list cz thats hard so i'll just write as much as i can. long paragraphs here we go

2p fra and 2p eng live in the manor and he's the head of the household there (of like two people lol). 2p eng plays the role of a stay at home mother and 2p fra the father. years back meri and nada lived there as the kids. 2p eng likes playing house but he wants full control of the house so its suffocating for the others. meri especially had always needed particular kinds of help and rejected alot of 2p england's ways. but 2p eng was also very particular about things so they clashed really badly. 2p eng fed him shit like human meat idk how to fit this in but this old 2p thing is so funny to me i have to keep it anyways that was a thing meri was kind of the problem child there. 2p eng did not like meri lol but it was under layers of strange lying and false affections

nada was like... a lying kid he'd just go with what was told of him quietly and kind of halfassedly to get things done. but he also would try to cool down situations to keep himself and meri safe. he fed meri wild berries or whatever other foods that meri wouldn't get sick from and puke out so he didn't end up seriously malnourished... a good older brother. if not a little aloof. (and meri could be difficult sometimes because. you know. obviously. and nada didnt always know how to respond to him properly). he is all annoyed by meri Now bcz of how clingy and needy he is and how meri seems to want him to prioritize his needs over nada's own. meri doesn't intend this but nada to him is someone who'd never drop him anyways and meri wants to feel whatever counts as happy at the moment (does whatever he wants lol).

2p fra is useless husband lol ok but he is a sad sad guy and he doesnt gaf anymore and just stays in the manor and during the brothers childhood mostly turned the other way. he can garden tho theres that! also 2p eng can actually cook he just does shit but he can cook well. hes demanding of his husband and purposefully difficult sometimes... likes testing him.

nada and 2p eng's relationship is a lot better but nada holds his tongue a lot anyways. they get along pretty okay and meri is like im really chill about that (not really)(but well nada likes me more than him anyways... he'll always take my side no matter what he tells england...). meri thinks 2p fra hates him too but 2p fra doesnt he just doesnt gaf about those damn kids. after meri and nada ran away 2p fra was like well i guess this family doesnt really have kids anymore. and 2p eng waslike no they just left for college. (2p fra: college doesnt exis.t.. okay). now meri and nada adventures the small deserted world they live in on a shitty motorcycle doing errands and jobs for people.

now for other guys. 2p ita is an asshole to like everyone but he gets things done. he keeps things in line in most of the area though some people dont listen to him even if he threatens them. he's pretty aware of whats his strengths and what isnt so hes calculating about who and how he exerts control... hes the one who figured out the very faraway portal door to 1p world. he lives in a long asymmetric tower that looks like a radio tower... 2p ger works here for him and basically lives there too. 2p ger is a kind of mechanic thats weirdly clumsy but also really good at his work. (2p ger gives us gratuitous fanservice from tripping over lines that werent there previously and 2p ita pops three whole blood vessels at once!) 2p jp is the bodyguard ish. but he kind of hates being under people so he doesnt always listen to his bosses. (2p ita knows how to get him to listen tho even if its a hassle). 2p ita hires meri and nada to do shit sometimes (mostly nada cz meri is worse at listening than him. but meri shows up there anyways so they get to know each other's working styles). they dont like each other but due to a job now 2p ger, meri, and nada all know about the door so he has to figure out to keep them in check about it

2p pru is 2p ger's older brother that was a major deal but lost his whole arm!!! and is now weak and sad. so 2p ger mostly takes care of him and his mechanical arm. 2p ger has little loyalty to people, but he takes care of his brother anyways. he'd probably sell him out lol but then take care of him after anyways.

2p roma is on the radio Oh i forgot to mention everyone has a little walkie talkie or radio that connects to the radio tower and this is like their only source of entertainment (unless germy lets them borrow his shitty laptop) and well communication of sorts. anyways hes on the radio always and has to keep coming up with material and sometimes has to pretend like hes 2p ita when giving announcements... 2p ita thinks hes annoying and thinks whatever "entertainment" he gives on the radio sucks ass but they got each others backs anyways.

2p japan as i said is a kind of bodyguard but he's very protective of his work and also not friendly like at all. 2p chi is not rly his mentor but they keep running into each other anyways. 2p chi is kind of true idgaf guy he lives in one of the houses closer to the radio tower because its convenient and he couldnt care less about the other people around. he keeps a lot of old things in his house like old jewelry old trinkets just old old things of their world. he might've been the one who found the laptop and just gave to it to 2p ger just cz he asked. 2p ger gets his mechanical materials from him because nobody else keeps shit they find cause they suck and are lazy. so germys always like man that guys the best! and 2p japan grits his teeth and stars come out from him gritting his teeth cz of how hard he grit his teeth. 2p chi does not gaf abt 2p japan of course its like a weird beef... he keeps the old trinkets because its useful and he might find a thing or two that makes his life more convenient... if not he'll sell or give them away. he listens to the radio and thinks it sucks but not much else to do.

2p spain is a little further away from the radio tower but he's there. he lives in someplace that looks like a church but if you walk in its basic house interior. he is a shit guy but knows and keeps and sells information around here. 2p ita has beef with him for that(but its fine... he's a patient guy... kgh...) and instead of talking directly for managing stuff he just sends 2p roma to do it.(romas like i dont rly wanna... but fine.. cz im just rly charitable...) 2p spain likes throwing glass at people thats just a thing he does. meri and nada doesnt like doing jobs for him but he pays a lot so they do it anyways. 2p ger wouldnt mind working for him but 2p spain doesnt trust his weird mechanics and technology... he does things manually. of course he doesnt know but many things of his house runs on the same mechanics...

2p russia is closer to the radio tower than 2p spain is but relatively not close. he likes keeping the plants and ecosystem in this world alive because nobody else is managing it. (2p fra would but he's in that fuckass manor all the time... this pisses 2p rus alot cz instead of being useful to the environment hes just There). meri has no idea but the only reason there was wild berries all around and various non-meat food is cz of 2p rus. 2p rus barely knows of him tho he just hears abt them like oh those two who would do anything for a little piece of money. 2p russia always has the radio on because information is valuable even if right now its just a shitty improvised soap opera on the radio... he doesnt like other people and only interacts if he must.

aaand i forgot to mention but 2p eng's manor has one singular radio connected to the radio tower but its like always turned off and hidden. 2p eng doesnt like 2p ita and doesnt agree with how he runs things at all and is the one who is most uncooperative with him. thats why 2p eng is really secluded living in the manor... he's the furthest away from the radio tower. 2p ita thinks hes a freak but hes mostly not causing trouble for him so he lets him do whatever that shit is.

[lichtecht]

@is-this-taken-too-questionmark the entirety of my dfk 2023 notes are a bit too long and incoherent and unstructured, so i figured i'd try to compile some topics ive thought about

putting it under a cut cause its still very long

jo and martina get a scene that directly parallels the martin/jonathan bedside scene from 2003. i would also change the way jo’s backstory is shared. and the backstory itself „my mother abandoned me in a disco“ is hilariously iconic, but it doesn’t have any emotional impact. it makes you laugh, even though it’s meant to be sad. instead, jo shares her backstory in the aforementioned parallel. and instead of telling her why SHE is sad, jo comforts martina by, idk, taking her to the lake. -„i always come here when im sad. or when i want to be alone.“ -„its beautiful.“ bonding moment basically. maybe they stumble over the Externs and overhear their plans or something, and thats how we make the shift to action and plot again

some things i wrote down:

Martina/Jo lesbianism

Skating

bedside scene

"I'll just stay here. At home. With you."

Lowkey breakup

jo gifting martina the phone

Justraucher Reunion. Obvsly

Expand on how Robert & especially JUSTUS feel afterwards (cause we dont see justus again until they meet at the hospital)

also on what happened back then

more detailed backstory

(Note -> i have a whole other document with just things about Back Then, i'll get into that later (possibly in a seperate post so it doesnt get *too long*)

Jo & Nichtraucher bonding at the piano

gay mentorship

-> after Jo/Martina’s breakup

Uli

show him being bullied more

make it more of an actual internal conflict

uli being assigned to lead the distraction - would i keep that? i feel like him running away when hes in a leadership role and for everyone to see cheapens his character. and i feel like it doesnt fit with the perception of his character if the others have trust in him. in the 2023 film, its seemingly just the externs who make fun of uli and bully him? so the „enemies“. i feel like its quite important to ulis character that everyone doesnt take him for full, even people on „his side“, even his friends. its a nice gesture from martina to assign uli that role, but it doesnt make sense character-wise. uli isnt used to leading. or even stepping up. the kids should theoretically not have trust in him to be able to do this. it also doesnt make sense to award someone like that with a leadership role, even if its an attempt to help them stand up. (which it didnt seem to be? or am i missing that? maybe it was.) it just… doesnt make sense. and it does uli dirty. when i watched the movie for the first time, i said „thats what you get when you cut sebastian.“ because someone from their group needs to be at the battle and direct it, someone is captive, and several people need to free them. it wouldnt work if only martina stormed the boat house. you need multiple people, and martina and matze need to be there. uli, however, should not and would not lead the attack. thats what we’d have sebastian for. (wonderful, cynical, bitchy sebastian) instead, uli would TRY to partake in the attack, chicken out, and run away. you know. like in the book

The Legend???

the reveal was literally just stupid.

I mean, you could keep that the legend is made up, but it should still have some kind of impact on the other students

like "yeah ok the legend is fake, but dude, he still climbed up there, that was crazy impressive"

Dont know how to feel abt Uli planning the whole thing. Doesnt feel right.

Fr. Kreuzkamm not as ridiculous. Like she still has a sense of humor and her style stays the same (ms frizzle fashion) but she should at least have some respect from the students

Bökh shouldnt be a school director

Bökh Vertrauenslehrer. (dont know how to translate that. like an official teacher who's supposed to be a confidante for the students (although at least i never went to any appointed confidants. but maybe that depends on the person))

school director always threatens to close the boarding school, Bökh stands against it and supports the students

the strict one and the nice one should simply be 2 separate people

would a nicer 2023 Bökh still have acted so shitty regarding Robert and Marie though? it kind of only feels right if he sucks a little bit

(although he obvsly could have changed in those years. but he doesnt seem to regret it or feel guilty so i doubt he feels bad abt it)

i was thinking i'd give this new strict boarding school director the name of the headmaster in the book (grünkern), but grünkern just isnt that kind of person. he's someone the students laugh about. which is more like frau kreuzkamm is in the movie

so i figured i'd call the boarding school director professor kreuzkamm and have frau doktor kreuzkamm be called frau doktor grünkern instead

(and take some more inspirations from book grünkern as well, with how the students treat him)

ruda would be called ruda grünkern then too. she doesnt really need to be kreuzkamm anyway

… i guess kreuzkamm would just be one of the internals then. or i suppose the externs would work too, if kreuzkamm is just a background character. i havent thought about if i would change who gets kidnapped

about that.

im still struggling with figuring out how i wanna do the conflict. i was thinking maybe i should throw the whole conflict out cause i find it entirely annoying. but it is a really big part of dfk 2023 wether i like it or not, and it's really hard to change it when i dislike fundamental parts of the way it is written.

first, i had the idea to make it about a conflict between the rich kids from the city up in the boarding school and the less wealthy kids from town, but im not equipped to write about classism and i dont want to be an asshole on accident

maybe instead, it’s a rivalry between the students from the school in town and those in the boarding school. yes, that sounds like it’s exactly the same, but i would make the boarding school be an actual school on top of the hill, not just a place where the students sleep.

i'm definitely keeping the part about it being two separate schools though. it would be a bit more close to the book in that way. (i would also give the other school the name from the the book, but i couldnt find it. it might not have had one?? would appreciate some help here if you know a name)

and ig the easiest way to explain the animosity is also like in the book. that its a thing between the schools which predates any of the students involved. they just carry it out.

but would they make up in the end then?? im still not sure. it's so hard to find some kind of middle ground between the way it is in the book and in dfk 2023 !!!

(which is because they have a fundamentally different understanding of how this conflict ends!!!!!!!! in dfk 2023, its a thing of overcoming differences and making peace, while in the book that was never the goal to begin with!!! they start and end as enemies!!!!! carolina!!!! carolina, you dont get it at all!!!!!!!!)

to tie it back in with the 2023 movie, you could make it so that the two schools are still doing some kind of "friendship project" to bury the hatchet. although that probably wouldnt come from the schools themselves if theyre so hostile towards each other...

(MAYBE. its a thing that frau kreuzkamm, or rather, frau grünkern started. but none of this is thought out rn, i’m getting away from my goal with this post)

like i said, i would make it two separate schools. town school vs boarding school prehistoric feud boarding school director kreuzkamm; i kind of see him as an old man with balding white hair and a big moustache. wears black suits. never laughs. closer to book kreuzkamm, but less sympathetic. he's supposed to fill the role of the antagonist within the boarding school. instead of justus (who's supposed to be a safe place for the students) threatening to close the boarding school, it's direktor kreuzkamm. frau professor grünkern, headmaster of the town school. (she needs a first name. (i made a note here to consult the dfk girlies (gn) so please drop your suggestions? how do you feel about friederieke)) mother of ruda, still. wears colourful shirts, is basically like in the movie. although i still stand by what i said earlier about making her less of a comic relief

OH!! i completely forgot to tell you about that. i had a thought when i made part ... i think it was part 27. where i wrote in the tags #now that i think about it #WHY is frau kreuzkamm not sitting with her family?? #girl you have a husband and kids stop making eyes at your colleague whos gay anyway and my thought was a big WHAT IF. what if frau kreuzkamm cheated on her husband ties together ruda’s disappointment in her, frau kreuzkamm making eyes at justus und justus perhaps trying it with women to get over/ignore robert that might be a bit too much if we’re talking about a realistic rewrite, but let me engage the thought for a moment back to what i was saying

if i want to go with the cheating-storyline; justus has caught her eye. EVEN THOUGH she has a stay-at-home-husband. the second child doesn’t seem to have saved the marriage i am still unsure about her role in the conflict between the schools. cause in the movie she's both „everyone be friends 🥰 we don't need to continue these disputes!“ and "your INMATES are HURTING my SWEET CHILDREN you need to CLOSE THE BOARDING SCHOOL" and i still don't know how to deal with that. but now i had the thought that maybe she's the one who wants the opposing schools to make up Still thinking about that

i have a lot more notes, especially about matz, and i haven't even touched on my thoughts about the justus-robert-marie situation. but i will put that in a reblog or something. this is getting too long.

[unlimitedtrees]

nearly all of the character designs from 'UNITRES Dreams'

(once again, this post didnt have a “read more” part in da original cohost post, so im putting it here... click more if U Dare !!)

so, trying to get back into making art again, i decided to draw brand new references of all the character designs from my game, UNITRES Dreams. cus why not. anyways these references arent Perfect.. some of em ive made better reference sheets before (while for this i just wanted to draw em all together with a sort of consistent color style and their current, up-to-date designs) and also i didnt get to draw Every character as it is Too Much and i am Too Lazy to draw all of the enemies and boss designs ... so ive just included the enemy and boss sprites for now.. but ill probably draw new art for them sometime.

Anyways. let me tell ya a bit about making Character Designs for this game. as ive talked a bit about in my post about making Character Sprites , making stuff for the game is hard because i am pretty much the Only person working on the game and i have to split my time working on the sprites between working on Every Other Aspect Of The Game , meaning i dont get to spend as much time making the artwork as detailed and polished as id want to.

and the same thing goes for making the Character Designs. sadly, i didnt get to make as many Actual Characters as i wanted (you can tell which are the Actual Characters as theyre the ones i Actually Redrew Here). when the project started, i only really had the Main Three Playable Characters in mind.. in fact most of the other Actual Characters didnt even Exist until the Very Very End of development.. which is the part im sad about. i just didnt have enough time to think about adding any complex new characters or figure out how i would Make a new character design . Which leads me to the Other Characters... which includes Most (but not All) of the Bosses and Enemies. Their designs are well , Basic . their designs werent really thoughtout ;they were created to serve a single purpose: to be made quickly so that the game could Have enemies and bosses. if i were remaking this game now, id probably remove or even completely Redo a Ton of the enemy designs (except the post-UNITRES Dreams enemies ... im kind of proud of them Lol !!)

thats just how things were. i didnt have enough time to focus on making character designs, so i didnt get to make a Ton of them and i had to make them Fast . in fact, early on in development, i hadnt really had much experience making character designs (as , before UNITRES, i didnt really make too many Original Characters for my games before), so i struggled experimenting and making characters for a lot of its development. And The Designs themselves .. a lot of them (even the ones i like) are pretty simple. Most characters are comprised of simple shapes and details , making them easy to draw and animate. and a lot of the early designs used Very Few Colors , which made drawing them quicker.

Despite All Of This , However, i am actually pretty proud of a lot of the designs ive made for this game (Especially the ones with the fancy new drawings i made here ..). while theyre simple, and while i wish i couldve made More characters with more unique designs , i really like the designs i got to make for this game ,with some of em being my favorite to draw even when im bored .. and i just felt like id talk about em.

And Well , Im Gonna Talk About Em !! click da 'read more' thingy if u want to Read More ..

the Main three characterz

"trees"

so first off , let me talk about "trees". before i can get into their Actual Design , let me tell u a bit of history so u can understand why theyre designed the way they are.

So . around November 6, 2018 , before UNITRES was really a thing , i designed the very first version of Trees that u can see above. while i didnt know what the game was going to Be , i had a Basic idea of what i wanted the Character to be from the very beginning. you see, Trees (the character) ,while having the same name as me , is Technically Not a self insert , Kind Of . I designed this character near the beginning of when i started entering a Very Low Point mentally in my life (which involves some personal stuff im not going to get into , Aswell as this point happening Around when Among the Others released) and i thought Very Negatively of myself . And So , this character is sort of an exaggerated version of the negative thoughts i had about myself at the time .

the main characteristics of the character was they Did Not Show Their True Emotions , instead bottling up their feelings and showing a very Fake , happy version of themself. theyre also kind of Fucked Up in the head and try to hide it . anyways theres more stuff going on with them that you can probably extract from both the games and the old descriptions in this concept art , but i wanna leave that as a surprise for when i get to make my next game. There Are some outdated things from the descriptions in the concept art , such as an idea where Trees would be Always Facing Forward , hiding away their backside. And Also , you may notice theyre referred to as "it" and "his" in this , which has well. Changed . teehee.

as for The Design Itself , i wasnt really sure what i wanted to go for at first. this character was actually one of the Few first Actual Character Designs i made at that point , so i didnt really have any idea on what to do. One day , i thought up of a Little Bear Looking character , and i tried drawing that character .. only for it to Sort Of look like a little fox-like character. and i imagined this character emoting mainly by very subtle details , such as the Hat and Ears changing shapes based on their emotions ..

Anyways , later that month , i drew the very first sprite of Trees , which ended up being used as the Idle sprite for the UNITRES tech demo. i wont be sharing What that sprite was originally for , as im saving it for Something , but i Will show you Trees' sprite evolution:

from left-to-right , it starts with the very first Trees sprite. Then there's the first revision, which was done when UNITRES Dreams started development. Then there's the second revision , done for the Newgrounds update in 2021. And finally, there's the TREES' ADVENTURE version, which is the current version of the sprite.

with the first version, the sprite is Pretty Close to the first concept art. However , iremoved the blue part in the tail as i couldnt get it to look good in sprite form (or i just forgot to include it.. idont remember). I also removed some details , such as the little hair and the red blush, as i couldnt really include them on such a small sprite.

Anyways , so how did the design mutate into the current design ? Well , over time , i ended up drawing their ears and tail Longer , and ended up giving them longer and longer limbs (as it was Hard to animate them with the tiny limbs they had). Eventually , it got to the point where i decided to just redo the sprites to make em consistent with how i was drawing them , and thats how i got the second revision.

But Then , i started consuming media Other Than Sonic ! i think the main thing that infected my brain was Spinel from Steven Universe ... while Trees' design Did have a bit of the sort of rubberhose , silly limbs before (along with a Bit of contorting their form , as u can see with the expressions in the original concept) , when i saw the steven universe movie , i saw spinel and was Immediately like " Oh My Goodness Gracious . I Need To Make My Character As Silly As Her". And so , I leaned more into the silly , stretchy limbs . You can see this in the following sprites:

Anyways , as i kept drawing them and consuming more Non Sonic media , i ended up experimenting more with their design and adding some small elements from my inspirations .. one of the other main inspirations was Wander Over Yonder ,where i decided to draw Trees' hat to be more Silly and Big , like Wander's hat. i also ended up perfecting how i drew Trees , giving them more Sharp lines , Bigger and Sillier "hands" and "feet" , making their tail Huge , and just giving them a nice silhouette that i like . By the time of the Newgrounds update , i realized Trees' sprites were kind of Outdated , so i ended up redrawing Most of their sprites , and ended up with the version you can see in the current version of UNITRES Dreams ..

And well , Im Really Really proud of how their designed turned out . I Like to draw them a lot. and i think the way their design evolved has ended up fitting with their Actual Character really well .. the sort of Round , Soft elements such as their Big , Blobby hands/feet and their cute , silly face make them look , on the surface , cute and Silly . But then you have the more Sharp lines and elements , such as with their head and tail which i think makes their character have a bit of depth .. if that makes sense .

Idk . im not good at words or describing things . i just think their design now works really well with what i want to go for . and hey , a lot of my friends have drawn them and have drawn them Really Really Well .. i particularly like how people interpret their design .. with some people leaning into the more Soft , cute elements of their design , while some have drawn them Really Really accurately .. its really cool and im thankful for everyone whos drawn them before ..

Last Thing ill mention about their design (and i guess this goes for Most of the other designs) : Most of the characters in UNITRES aren't really supposed to be any Specific Species . Theyre all just sort of weird , ailen-like characters who do not abide to any sort of rules or reality or whatever. Trees is just Trees ; they're not supposed to be a Fox or any sort of Real animal or species or whatever, and that goes for every other character.

??????

so here's the very first designs of ?????? , who for now ill unofficially refer to as The Pink Character. When i first started development on UNITRES , i Knew i wanted there to be Three main characters: Trees, and two mysterious characters. and when i started work on UNITRES Dreams (back when it was known as UNITRES - BRAND NEW WORLD Edition) , i needed to create designs for them .. However , at this point i was still learning how to Properly Make Character Designs , and so i created the first sketch above ,and then created their first sprites , which . Well. I Ended Up Not Liking Their Design Very Much !

So . The whole point of this character is that they dont really know their own identity , with them not even having a Real Name . Their design was Supposed to be sort of Ambiguous .. However i was Not Sure what to do for their design . i wanted to make it so you couldnt really tell what their gender was (as originally , they were a girl ... but they do not have No Gender anymore) . However , when people first started testing the game , they just . thought they were a guy.

anyways . i just Did Not Like This Design . they didnt really have a Clear Silhouette .. they just didnt look like an appealing or memorable design to me. and i also i didnt like their color palette. So . when the game became UNITRES Dreams , i decided to completely redo their design . And Well ..

This is the first drawing of the new design. At First , i wasnt sure about their design , with things such as them being Pink and Having A Skirt, i was worried about Some People immediately being like "Oh , Theyre A Girl !".. but you know what ? Ive grown Very Very Attached to this design .. i think theyre both Cute and Recognizable , while still fitting the sort of character i was going for . Their sillouette , while not as Recognizable as the other characters , has enough goin on to where i think it is a bit recogniable and easy to read while still giving them a sort of Mystery regarding their identity .. if that makes sense . And their more monochrome palette compared to every other character helps sell that , i think .

i think theres probably some people out there who see this character as a girl , but i think theyre a good Non Gender Having character design . just cus theyre pink doesnt mean they gotta have Gender ! anyways , i love them. theyre my silly little strange creature. i hope you love them too .. there is so much i want to explore with this character in a future game .. and i think their new design has really stuck with me.

???

So , ??? , who i will refer to unofficially as The Blue Character, is supposed to Sort Of be the opposite of Trees (the character). they're Very Tired and Chill , not really too crazy or anythin. and i wanted their design to illustrate that, and well , out of every design ive made , theirs was pretty much perfect from the very moment i created them.

I dont know if i have any old concept of them on hand, but i Do have both the original sprites ,aswell as the newer ones which are pretty much the same as the old sprites , but more polished and with redone colors..

And, well. Yea . they didnt really change much ! The only aspects that changed was that i removed like , Two details that i felt cluttered up the sprites too much , that being the little Tired Eyebag/ whatever its called line beneath their eyes, along with the little Red Dot that was on their boots. Other than that , their design was pretty much Perfect. they were also pretty easy to make , as , with them being a sort of Opposite version of Trees , theyre pretty much based off Trees' design , except with a bunch of differences to make them feel like their own character (such as different body/head shape , a big silly hat , and Actual Boots).

there's nothing much for me to say about them. they're perfect.

the really gay ones

suzy, wavey, and their little Shine Catcher

Alright . so before i can explain These characters , u need a little bit of History .

So. when UNITRES - BRAND NEW WORLD Edition was "finished" , i went on to help with RRThiel and his game, MEGA MAN PERFECT BLUE. as you can see here, i worked on various backgrounds and tilesets for the game. Anyways , at one point , ithought itd be cool to remake the Intro Stage in UNITRES , as a sort of tribute to the game and also as a little extra thing for the new update i was planning on making (which ended up becoming UNITRES Dreams).

at first, this was Just going to be two levels based off the Intro Stage from Perfect Blue , However , later in MMPB's development , one of the backgrounds I did for one of the levels ended up being Completely Redone by other people on the team ,as my background didnt really fit the game's style .. However , i still really liked this background .. so I decided to reuse it for a new level in UNITRES , with it also being a tribute to the level in MMPB (though its a lot more loose compared to the Intro Stage level , Lol).

This level ended up becoming Greenhouse Frenzy in UNITRES , and i ended up turning what once was just going to be a two level bonus into an entirely new campaign with its own story in UNITRES Dreams. and with it being a whole new campaign , i wanted there to be New Bosses and New Enemies ..

So , for Greenhouse Frenzy - Section 1 , I was planning on a new boss ... and this boss was going to be ... Mr. Sauceman !

You See , for UNITRES Dreams i wanted to go Hard with including all sorts of little tributes to my friends and the people who helped with the game . Mr. Sauceman , being one of the composers of the game , let me use his character from the game hes working on as a boss in the game , and i thought itd be nice to have him be in Greenhouse Frenzy ,since that level is pretty much a big tribute anywayz.

So , Originally , i wanted the Sauceman boss to start out with a little Fake Out . You See, the MMPB level that Greenhouse Frenzy is based off has a robot master that i asked RRThiel if i could use for the level , but he said no. So , I decided for this boss that i would create a silly character Inspired by the robot master from the MMPB as a silly little joke , but then Mr. Sauceman shows up and that character explodes . And So , I Designed Suzy , a character who , while inspired a bit by the character MMPB , was made to be a bit different and also to be used for a silly little fake-out intro and to die in 5 seconds . You can see this on the reference sheet , where she didnt even have a name and is just referred to as "GF2 Fakeboss".

However . Two Things Happened : 1) I Grew Kind Of Attached To This Little character I Designed , And 2) I Ran Out Of Time. i couldnt implement the fakeout that i had planned ... and i didnt have a boss fight for Greenhouse Frenzy - Section 1.... So. I decided to just. Make her the boss fight of GF1. it just made sense ! i Originally had planned a boss fight based on the Magik Master boss from Chaotic Carnival , but reusing the character design for the silly fakeout ended up being quicker , and so she ended up being an Actual Character in the game.

And Then There's Wavey . she is a robot. i originally designed her as an enemy for the Intro Stage tribute level (a.k.a , Perfect City) , as i wanted it to have its own enemy. Her design is also Some What inspired by one of the robot masters from MMPB , though not as much as Suzy's is.

Anyways , despite Suzy and Wavey being inspired by characters from MMPB , i wanted them to be different and have their own sort of Character . And well .. their actual Personalities are different to the ones from MMPB , at least . In UNITRES Dreams , there is a hidden "Storybook" mode , which contains various stories which add a bit of Worldbuilding into the game .. and one of the stories details Suzy and Wavey . Basically , Suzy is a lonely gardener , who lives alone on her own strange little planet , who then travels across the galaxy to the Perfect City , where she ends up meeting Wavey , a military robot who Suzy becomes fascinated with ..

Anyways . my writing aint exactly the best , and i Refuse to go and reread the stuff i wrote for the storybook mode in unitres . but i tried my best to make suzy and wavey their Own sort of characters , having their own identity compared to the characters theyre based on. Oh , and by the way , suzy and wavey are gay LOL !! and they have a little baby plant that they raise . this is also told in the storybook but i unfortuately didnt get to explore this Much outside of that in the game... though there Is a secret you can find in one of the levels.

So. what do i think of these characters and their designs ? Well. Honestly. Im Not Sure . when i designed them both , i still wasnt Totally comfortable with character designs as i am now , and honestly . theyre not my Favorite designs . Wavey in particular is just . Well . Shes Just Metal Sonic in A Hat . she has her own little differences , but i cant lie . i probably coulda done better with her design . and suzy i think hasnt aged as well either . Idk. Also. In Case You Cant Tell , I am BAD with coming up with names . I Genuinely cant do it. i came up with both of their names on a Whim . i justdidnt know what to call them and i was running out of time LOL !!

anyways. last things ill mention are : the plant is a species known as Shine Catchers, which appear as enemies in Greenhouse Frenzy. Oh , and also , here's some concept art of them Lol !!

(oh , and i also forgot to mention: originally , suzy had green dots on her "hair", but i didnt know how to properly draw them on the sprites , so i left it out)

the Silly ones (a.k.a my favorite ones)

Millie

So . Millie is the most self-indulgent design Ive created .

Here's how it went: one December day in 2020 , I was sitting around bored as hell , when all of a sudden , the Silly Brained part of me Saw an idea pop up: A Tall , Hot , Cute Clown Man . And Instantly , I KNEW I had to draw him . But I Was in the middle of a Zoom call ... So . I opened up IbisPaint on my old Android phone , and drew the First sketch with my fingers that you can see above . And Instantly I Knew : I Had Done It . I Made Perfection .

More ideas grew , and i realized : I Could Do Something With This ! So , later , I came up with a whole reference sheet for him , and started planning on something: I was going to make More characters for UNITRES Dreams . You see , at the time , I was working on the v3.0.0 update for the game. This was Very Very late in development , before i even Planned there being a Newgrounds version (and before ninjamuffin convinced me to Make the newgrounds version LOL !!). Anyways. for so long , iwas disappointed that i didnt get to make a whole lot of original characters for the game .Most of the characters were either Enemies or Bosses. there was Barely any NPCs (aside from the guest character apperances).

i Also Realized: Chaotic Carnival , one of the most Important levels in the game , needed More love . So. I decided i was going to make new NPCs just for it , so that the level could feel even More alive and lived in. And that's when i created the Silly Trio , which started with Millie.

As for Millie's design , there isn't much for me to say. he is perfect. i love him and he is one of my favorite things ive designed. Yes , it Is self indulgent . Yes , i Do Want Him Carnally . teehee. Anyways , after designing Millie , i knew i had to design more characters .. which leads me to..

Goldian and Ellie

Goldian is a tall , polygonal magician man. He is in love with Millie. They are canonically dating.

Ellie is a bunny-like clown girl. She likes to entertain people with magic. I think she might be asexual , but i wasnt very sure when i created her.

Anyways. there isnt much for me to say. i Could get into some of the Character Lore perhaps . Millie , Goldian , and Ellie are all characters with troubled pasts.. they all had to run away from their homes due to circumstances , and they managed to find the mythical Chaotic Carnival, where they all met and decided to become entertainers. It gives them purpose , to see people happy. And they work under the Magik Master , a strange magician who has the ability to bend reality at will. They're all like a sort of Found Family .

that's all ill say about them. theres so much more i want to do with them in the future... i love these characters so much. theyre my favorite designs ever.

Oh ! Iforgot to mention . these characters (including millie) names also suck LOL ! Im not good with coming up with names !! all their names i came up with at the last minute

All The Other Characters I Forgot To Mention

the magik master

nothing much to say about them. theyre one of the first bosses i created, and i Kind Of like their design still , though i might consider redoing it so it fits with the rest of The Silly Ones ..

vie

nothing much to say about Vie . she's a flower girl, who spreads flowers to every level in the game. she got the flowers from the Suzy's Greenhouse ..

Misc. Concept Art

[fractalkiss]

fic commentary/notes for the year you thought you were dying.

trying this thing where i do fic commentaries here instead of on dreamwidth since most of my recent dw posts will be private now.

influences:

there was this BL titled "my 40-year-old prostitute" in english or something like that that a mutual from twt recommended. look, it was good. im so fucking serious. the yaoi art was beautiful and sexy and it started out so well with compelling characters. but the translators ceased uploading translations by just chapter 2 in 2020 on [redacted] site. which effectively meant the premise never left me for months and i was so sad.

joke's on me tho all of this really became serious after i wrote tumblr ficlets of 1418 hooker au in response to some fun ask prompts in the summer, which are in my fic tag somewhere.

some quotes from more influences:

"It’s obvious that the range of people who sought out sex for money would change dramatically in a kinder, gentler world. [...] Sex work would also attract stone butches of all genders and sexual orientations—people who want to run the fuck but are not interested in experiencing their own sexual vulnerability and pleasure. Often these people are the most adept at manipulating other people’s experiences. They are more objective about their partners’ fantasies and do not become distracted by their own desires, since their needs to remain remote and in control are already being fulfilled. - pat califa, 1994, 2000

"You. What will you let yourself become for me?" - dorothy allison, her thighs, 1992.

the essay "her thighs" is about lesbian power play and so influential to me. i think dorothy allison is a very powerful writer and i love her poetry.

this is an allison excerpt from jane ward's the tragedy of heterosexuality:

i kept this in mind too while i was writing manuela's short backstory.

the process:

i wanted crazy thangs with the structure. i wanted most of the sexual intimacy to be revealed much later to the reader, after we go through mostly the companionship aspect of the service -- which i realise now is not crazy but a boring approach and would really change the story so i didnt do it.

sex pollen fic done this way is my fave tho. helenish wrote this sga fic called This Gun for Hire with sex amnesia in it where everyone is in denial in the aftermath about the kind of sex that was repeatedly happening. there are other fic examples (can't quite remember or have bookmarked) where the denial and delusion is so completely off the charts with a character in trying to get through the aftermath of the event without a freaky sex trope involved.

so i wondered if i could pull off that kind of blurriness and denial in the structure for a character who KNOWS what is happening but thinks they're still straight and will die straight lmao. but fernando in this story is just jaded, retiring and isn't cripplingly repressive.

the notes from my word tracker doc that i had to do to be able to write long fic. i laugh at this every time:

my projected word count for this was 20k, which was so off lmfao.

i put off getting them to have sexy fun in italy at one point because i didn't know yet what emotional point they needed to get to and what grounds they'd be on then. i wrote a bit of a very different scene to lead up to it, but then scrapped it. and then i wrote the auction night and the morning-after scene. tension and conflict (without having to use miscommunication as the necessary crutch) is always one of my most favorite things to write about so i was so glad i got to this point LOL. the payoff of reaching a compromise and then an emotional release later is so rewarding to me! i love that shit

emotionally i just knew i needed it to be like the mindy nettifee poem i grabbed the fic title from.

figuring out how to write lance in this fic was really hard ngl since i went into the story almost blind. cofi made me realise this blind spot when i showed her an early wip and i was like hold awn.... if i wasn't sending @strulovic broken drafts and doing lanceology consultations with her, i wouldn't have gotten anywhere in the story.

alonso being a divorcee irl is so important to each and every one of my agendas thank god for the gay uncle. i did a lot of google searching to be able to write fernando's approach to sex and relationships outside of the job. i knew what i wanted to take away, like the difficulties with intimacy that former workers have had, and still have after the industry sometimes. fernando scrubbing his hands clean at lance's place after the auction despite not having sex with the auction client, his views on wanting the sex with his ex-wife and other exes to be "acceptable and proper" in contrast to whatever he's done for work, and how the internalised homophobia warps this for him while he tries to play the gentleman with lance in italy (and lance being able to read through him and understand that fernando DOES want to fuck him nasty ‼️ though lance doesn't understand the extent of fernando's issue with it). there are also accounts where sex work gave a worker the experience, space and autonomy they needed to slowly heal from prior traumatic and/or abusive experiences. the research was very interesting.

relied on music A LOT. an honorary ldr song [hears collective groaning] that didn't get included in the fic playlist was Love song. lance was in that passenger seat beside fernando in their sleek '67 restored fiat on the way to umbria wishing and wishing to get railed.

ALMOST FORGOT TO INCLUDE: ferrari to mclaren 2.0 fernando was the print here. he keeps the ferrari depression beard ofc.

truly not an overstatement, i think this fic was what made writing smth as long as this quite enjoyable and bearable for me. dare i say fun! haha

[nutzworth]

DAY 5: JANUARY 31, 2024 (i got to start reading more consistently.)

STATS: read for ~3 hrs pages read: 1052-1359. 307 pgs. act 4! slur count: 8 + 1 = 9 (john r slur on 1 of his defaced posters) silly count: 11 + 0 = 11 (i might have missed some. to be honest) piss count: 1/3

THOUGHTS: today started with john's alchemizing spree! i really like the alchemy even though i can NOT understand how the binary and codes quite work. john does though. johns really smart about alchemy in sburb specifically. this section also has a lot of funny john faces. i love this guy

FINALLY the end of dave and bros strife! jesus! been 2 sessions sicne it started! i said this last time but i think its SO INTERESTING how bro doesnt cut or stab dave in any way during the strife. they clash and lil cal gets torn up and daves sword gets 1/2ed and daves SYMBOL gets scratched but when hussie shows dave after the fight hes winded and bruised and battered but hes NOTABLY NOT BLOODY! obviously being bruised cus youre FIGHTING! WITH YOUR DAD! is bad and your dad (bro) is a criminal but. man. how much restraint was bro USING. to be SO PRECISE! did he have to choose between slashing dave and slashing cal in that split second? why else would he possibly have slashed cal? for paradox reasons? i really like dirk strider

the unofficial homestuck collection website is bugging out SO BAD for me. for so many flashes today the music just did not play. it SUCKS! but its fine i just play the music in another tab. i hope they fix that but i know its not priority

i really like the few dave logs i read today. dave is sooooo sad puppy on the other side of a cracked door that sees you and wants to get in the room but cant figure out how to push open the door so he just whines. "hello" "what are you doing" "man where are you" "are you there" he is so cute. in contrast the other dave log today was DAVE AND TAVROS!!!! HOORAY FOR TAVROS! and dave in this one is really funny hes so nonchalant and like "no man. if you want to have sex with a 13 yr old boy okay dude. im on board. time and place." and tavros is like UM! NO! IM GOOD! HAHA! }:) ! they are so funny. the striders are SO internet troll. dave does it flawlessly

KANAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE KANAYA! SHES MY FAVORITE TROLL! shes so awesome in the kanaya/rose log she is so funny. start talking to this girl like "humans cant understand time travel when its really so simple youre all kind of dumb" and ending with "hey we should be friends". i literally love her

EXILES! not much happened with the exiles. introduced to aimless renegade. what a cop. pa harley heart! thanks for your guns pa!

THE FLASH WHEN ROSE ENTERS THE GAME IS SO COOOOOL!!!!!!!!! i really really like it unfortunately the sound didnt work so all the beats didnt hit quite right but they hit ENOUGH. SO COOL! I LOVE ROSE!!!! theres so much going on all the time for that girl. i love you rose

INTERMISSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really like the intermission i think its so fun trying to parse what the hell is happening. i have GOT to read problem sleuth because so many of the things i find funny are straight up just problem sleuth bits

hussie averting the readers expectations with the like You have a deck of cards. ==> play solitaire With what cards? Dumbass? Fuck off. You only have your WAR CHEST. i think this is hussie like softdropping his rivalry with his audience. it starts with silly banter and then hes like im going to make a character representing the fandom and im going to kill her off (calliope)

the felt are SO COOL! if anyone knows all the pun names for them lmk. i only know a few obvious ones.

the intermission is SO gory. theres so much blood and death and guns and knives. like ok dude i get youre in mafia gangs or whatever but cool it on the blood and yucky faces! yeesh! there is also more crude jokes in it than normal i think. maybe cus these are real adults with pornography in their briefcases than like 13 yr olds. "jack king off" "you beat it(your heart) pretty often" "fist full of penis" etc

you kjnow what drives me crazy. the ACTUAL REAL TIMELINE of the intermission. or at least what it means for the rest of the comic. obviously the intermission is foreshadowing (esp when slick gets his eye and arm cut off; mentioning lord english; etc) but like. its MORE. when i first read homestuck i was under the impression that the intermission was just some other timeline in some universe. granted i dont remember slicks eye and arm getting nixed or karkat vantas reveal or lord english mention or anything that foreshadows anything. but NO! its NOT some other timeline! but it IS another universe. its ALTERNIA!!!!!!!!!!!

the story of jack noir (spades slick) as i know it is as follows: jack noir spawns in derse ==> commits a crime (probably shittalking the queen) ==> gets exiled to... um. somewhere. ==> i assume he meets karkat here? and stabs him. and karkats blood is revealed and then theyre friends ==> slick (now scurrilous straggler) is left on the green moon? exiled in rags ==> he builds a city ==> the felt's mansion is there also. they form gangs and become rivals ==> intermission starts; midnight crew infiltrates lord english's lair to get the vault prizes ==> slick goes in the vault and begins commanding karkat. if im wrong about any of this correct me im so curious

i really like clubs deuce and diamonds droog. i wish crowbar was in the intermission more. clover is just like nagito komaeda. trace and fin are insaaaane. i wish i knew more about the felt

ACT 4! GAME!!!!! game on lowas. its really cool i didnt get to play it my first readthrough. love the salamanders and love the captchalogue nonsense. it is so fun. thats all for today folks

[azsazz]

honestly feel really bad for azriel in mm. i would have actually left when i saw my friends brought someone they know i dont like without telling me, that's a pretty shitty thing to do and one of my biggest boundaries and then them making plans without even telling him is bad too like i get what rhys said that they were being assholes at first because they were but pushing two people that don't want to be together is still a shitty way to go about it. like even with reader she likes cass but not rhys and is being almost forced to hang out with him because of the thing with feyre which looks like fey didnt even really explain to her and idk seeing your friends put romantic relationships in front of you sucks.

obviously the point of the story is that they end up together so they'll have to solve it i guess but yeah everyone is acting badly to azriel and reader, especially to az bc that last scene of him staying back at home and the implication being that he can solve it by going with his friends to hang out with someone who makes him uncomfortable and they know it is so sad. he was excited to work on rhys' tattoo and instead just got left behind, maybe im seeing too much of myself in mm az but it made me kinda mad at rhys and cass

hi hi-

i actually love you bringing this up because there's some great points here and i'm honored that this story can evoke such conversation

so, i totally get what you're saying here and that is so valid. it actually reminds me of something that happened over my weekend which was a similar situation. i was going out and i knew there was going to be someone i didn't like there but i went anyway because you know i need to go out and live my life and not let anyone stop me. and i'd been invited by a friend so i said yes. it's a little different because obviously reader/az didn't know that the other would be there, so i totally see your perspective on it!

i think maybe also azriel just could've assumed that he'd be hanging out with rhys and cass on the weekends so he wouldn't ask if they had already made plans, and i could see cass and rhys not bringing up their planned engagements because they know azriel is kind of a lone wolf and sometimes goes off by himself and they know he doesn't care for reader so they just didn't say anything.

fey def trying to keep whatever is happening with her and rhys a secret 👀 which is def shitty to do to her roommate/best friend but again, fey could be feeling awk by bringing it up to reader again because she knows how much she doesn't like these guys. except cass

in the end, i think the same can be said where az might've just figured they'd all be chilling or what not so he was working on rhys' tattoo. i don't think their plans are solidified it's kind of like oh yeah we always chill so it goes unmentioned, which is also shitty, you're right, because cass and rhys would feel the same way and they really should've told az that they had plans.

you have absolutely every right to feel the way that you're feeling and thank you for bringing up these points and letting me know how you feel! I appreciate it 💙

[pastanest]

A/N: you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @bakedcrispss - thanks so much!! ♡

Daryl Dixon x she/her!reader

spoilers: set in season 5

Night To Remember

The knock at the door sent everyone into full alert, with Daryl immediately standing up and beginning to pace the same single step back and forth, making sure to continually shield you in some way. When Rick opened the door, however, it turned out to only be Deanna, and the room packed tightly with your family began to relax, at least a little. You gently took ahold of Daryl’s arm and tugged him to sit back down beside you, and he complied, but he still felt very tense beside you. The tension amongst all of you in this new place was definitely going to stick around for a while, and that’s putting it lightly. After Terminus...you shuddered at the thought, and Daryl’s eyes focussed on you instinctively, studying you as you shook the thoughts he couldnt read from inside your head and fixed your gaze on the darkness beyond the window that was on the other side of you. Looking out there meant that you could shield Daryl, too, but not from a threat of some kind, just from the sadness in your eyes.

“And Im just trying to figure Mr Dixon out, but I will.” His name passing from Deanna’s lips caught your attention, and you turned to look at her, causing her to smile.

“I can tell that (Y/N) would offer to partner up with Daryl no matter what job I offer him, though.” She teased, and you gave her a small, but genuine, smile. That was all you could manage before you drifted back to the view of the darkness.

Deanna’s next words brought your head snapping back around again to stare at her again.

“Tomorrow night, Im hosting a welcome for all of you, in my home. I would very much like as many of you to be there as possible.” She looked up at Rick as she spoke, but you couldnt help blurting out your question.

“A party?” You asked, feeling Daryl’s confused scowl burning into the side of your face.

Deanna smiled, her eyes twinkling with excitement at the enthusiasm she could sense radiating from you. “Yes, a party.”

You blinked rapidly, feeling something in you that had been absent for so long it was unfamiliar, before you could manage an answer. “I’ll be there.”

Deanna nodded at you, clearly very pleased at you not only choosing to speak to her, but also the fact you werent afraid to voice your own commitment to the event in front of your far more reluctant family.

The conversation between Rick and Deanna soon ended, you barely even registered the sound of the front door closing behind her because you were so lost in your own thoughts. A few seconds passed, and then Daryl couldnt wait for you to voice your explanation on your own, he had to ask.

“Ya lookin’ forward to the party?” He questioned, very obviously bewildered by what had just happened.

Something flashed in your eyes then, Daryl could only see a flicker of it because you were looking down at your legs, but then you smiled and turned to him.

“Y’know what...I am.” You said, and the sincerity in your voice stunned him, he didnt know what else to say, so he just hummed.

Those events played on repeat in Daryl’s mind for the entirety of the following day.

Just like on the outside, you stuck by him, so Daryl had umpteenth moments to ask you about it, but he didnt. He couldnt. He was scared that if he voiced it then the fragile, light smile on your face would disappear. He thought he had seen all of your smiles, but apparently there was an especially rare one that had stayed locked away. Daryl couldnt tell whether it was selfish to not want to ruin that sight, or if he was sacrificing his curiosity to preserve whatever this newfound joy was in you. All he knew was that seeing you sitting on the opposite side of the porch, picking through the small pile of flowers you’d gathered to make a chain, it was easily the most perfect thing he had ever witnessed. There was something about you; you were like a deer. Beautiful and undisturbed, distracted and safe enough to do something as meaningless as making a flower chain, simply because you could. So, Daryl stayed quiet, you stayed smiling, and he couldnt have thought of a complaint even if he tried, which he didnt even consider.

A little while ago, Maggie came and found you and dragged you off the porch to get ready for the party, and that small smile blossomed into the most gorgeous, beaming grin. Daryl stayed sat on the porch, staring up at you in wonder, like you were a scene in a movie, a scene of normality that in the world before would have made him scoff and turn the television off; for some reason, when it was you that was smiling like that over the simple act of getting ready for a party...it was the closest thing to a spiritual experience that Daryl had ever witnessed while sober.

Your smile turned to him, and he felt the air in his lungs escape in the quietest gasp imaginable. He waved you off, giving a small smile to encourage you to go, and you squealed. You squealed! If you didnt have Daryl wrapped around your little finger before, you sure as hell did now.

While you were gone, Daryl reminded himself that he had already decided he was not attending the party. No matter what happened, he was not going, he could not imagine anything worse than a party. Forced social interaction with naive strangers in a confined space where he was obligated to stay until everyone formed a hive mind and made the decision to leave? That was the end of Daryl’s world, plain and simple. No amount of alcohol in that scenario would make it any better, not even moonshine.

You’re gone for so long that Daryl starts to wonder what he’s waiting for. There is no reason for you to come back and see him before the party, you know without asking that he wont want to go, and you could have quite easily arrived at the event alongside Maggie. Daryl stands up from the porch, deciding that he’s going to go for a walk. Maybe he’ll stroll past Deanna’s house, see if he can spot you as he casually passes the windows, just to make sure you got there alright. Maybe he wont. Or maybe he’ll tell himself he isnt going to do that when he knows he’s going to.

Just as he jogs down the steps, Daryl hears the sound of heels clicking down the street, and when he turns to face the sound, he very nearly passes out. Your hair is the same as it had been when you’d been sitting on the porch with him earlier, it was the way you liked it. In this world, makeup was hard to come by, so your face is as bare as had been earlier, too. The slinky red dress that hugs your figure perfectly, though, that is new, that is something Daryl has never seen, and he wonders how you can still look so much like you when dressed in a way that he didnt think would suit you. But then you smile, and everything clicks. Daryl had never considered that you would look comfortable in a dress like that, he didnt think it was your style, you had never mentioned that it was - but why would you? What would be the purpose of a dress like this in the world today? What would be the point in bringing it up in conversation, when so many other details of the world before were so much more deserving of remising? This, it wasnt an extremely important, sentimental thing, it wasnt vital to know in order to know you. But it was a small part of you that had previously been reserved entirely to the world before, and now Daryl has the privilege of witnessing it.

Quite suddenly, he becomes aware of just how long he has spent staring at you without saying a word. Chuckling, you look down at the ground shyly, holding your forearm with your other hand.

“I was just coming by to see if you were planning to go to the party tonight...” You say, your voice dancing through the night air like the most euphoric song he has ever heard.

“Dunno.” Daryl replies gruffly, and you nod, but your smile falters ever so slightly.

“It isnt really your scene, I get that. You dont have to come if it makes you uncomfortable. But if you do decide to go, it’d be nice to steal you for a dance...” And then your smile is back, you’re glancing over your shoulder at Maggie and Glenn as they jog down the street towards you.

Maggie loops her arm through yours, Glenn hyping the two of you up hilariously as you make your way to the party, leaving Daryl lost in a way that no amount of tracking experience can help him escape.

Not knowing what else to do, Daryl speeds inside the house that the group had spent the previous night in. He paces from the kitchen to the living room, biting his thumb as his mind spins.

“I aint goin’ to no damn party.” He mutters to himself, trying to reassure the thoughts that are swarming him.

Feeling claustrophobic all of a sudden, Daryl storms back outside to get some air, hoping that the outdoors will allow him some clarity, some space to think. Unfortunately for him, the space to think presents him with the image of you in that dress that is now imprinted on his brain for as long as its working. Daryl stands in the middle of the street, glancing down in the direction of Deanna’s house. The memory of that smile returns to him, and Daryl shakes his head.

“Fuck it.”

The mental image of you blinds him, blocks out any other thought, until he arrives at the party. By the time Daryl is able to think for himself again, Rick has already seen him, and it’s too late for him to discretely sneak back out. Rick approaches Daryl, drink in hand, and he picks up another one for his friend as he nears him. Daryl takes it with an appreciative nod, and then his eyes are scanning the room. Every other face blends into the background, clearing a visual path to you as you stand by the record player, flicking through a box of vinyls with a focussed expression.

When your eyes light up at the sight of a particular vinyl, Daryl braces himself. He has no idea what song you’re going to pick, yours and his taste in music is another conversation topic that seemed too pointless to ever bring up. In the world before, things like your taste in music would have been a bonding point, a vital factor in knowledge about anyone you call a friend, but those things dont matter anymore. Daryl knows your soul, so even if your taste in music is the polar opposite to his, it wont change a damn thing.

The second Dancing Queen by ABBA starts to play, Daryl cant help smiling as he tips his glass of whiskey to his lips. Of course, what else? You close your eyes, smiling and swaying to the music for a little while, but then you’re turning and miming the lyrics. Following your gaze, Daryl spots Maggie on the opposite side of the room, miming the lyrics back at you, and the two of you approach each other, beginning a dramatic dance in the sea of people that are just standing around and talking.

It doesnt take long for Maggie to pull Glenn to the dance floor that you have crated, and when you search for your own dance partner, your eyes find Abraham. Initially, Daryl cant help feeling slightly jealous, but when he sees how over dramatically you serenade Abraham, that jealousy fades into a low laugh.

“See that girl, watch that scene, diggin’ the dancing queen!” You mime up at the ginger giant, and he smiles, batting his eyelashes and letting you very awkwardly twirl him as though you were leading a formal dance, causing the two of you to burst into fits of laughter.

Towards the end of the song, you happen to glance around the room, and finally, you meet Daryl’s gaze. Your eyes widen in shock, which quickly transforms into excitement as you make your way through the crowd to reach him. Rick pats your shoulder and laughs as he walks back over to the others, leaving you to talk with Daryl.

“Im so glad you’re here! I wasnt planning to drink unless you came, ‘cause even if you were drunk yourself, there’s nobody I’d feel safer around. Oh! I know exactly what song to play now! Wait here!” Your words are rushed, and before he can reply you’ve run back over to the box of vinyls.

Daryl finds himself thankful for your brief greeting, because he’s absolutely positive that seeing you with rosy cheeks would render him incapable of forming a sentence.

The song you choose next, Daryl recognises instantly. Summer Of ‘69 by Bryan Adams, a classic, and one that he’s somewhat surprised you picked after a song like Dancing Queen. Feeling himself drift back to his teenage years listening to this song, Daryl starts subconsciously nodding in time with the beat, but then he feels a pair of eyes on him and he’s brought back to the present. When he sees you on the other side of the room, miming the lyrics at him, Daryl realises that there’s nowhere he’d rather be.

“When I look back now, that summer seemed to last forever, and if I had the choice, yeah, I’d always wanna be there - those were the best days of my life!”

Daryl glances around, feeling like the population of the room is staring because you’ve cleared a path to him that is naturally drawing attention to whatever you are now doing. But you’re walking closer, and Daryl has another moment of sudden ‘fuck it’ clarity, downing his drink and discarding the glass on a table nearby. Discarding his nerves and general social ineptitude, he focusses his mind on the fact that this is possibly the only time he’ll ever experience something like this with you, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to waste it. So when you start dramatically air-drumming along with the song, Daryl joins in. He doesnt know whether it’s the alcohol already effecting him, or whether it’s the magic of you, but even with the entire room looking at him, he feels completely at ease.

“Standin’ on your momma’s porch, you told me that you’d wait forever. Oh, and when you held my hand...”

Now standing close enough to Daryl, you hold your hand out to him, and his constantly overthinking mind is sent into a state of peace he has never known, because his hand is in yours.

“...I knew that it was now or never. Those were the best days of my life!”

Thinking back to your dance with Abraham earlier, and assessing his current wondrous situation of holding your hands, Daryl doesnt waste a second to spin you out and back into his arms. By no means is it the slow dance that he hopes to do with you someday, but he cant help wondering whether it’s even better.

Until tonight, Daryl had never known that you were the life and soul of the party, that you enjoyed dressing up and dancing with your friends. A side of you that he had never known is right in front of him, and Daryl is utterly amazed that despite having never known these aspects of you, he was head over heels for you regardless. You are caring, kind, a good fighter, and an even better friend. The things he knew about you likely didnt exist in the world before, so the people that knew you then wouldnt know the things he does about you, but tonight he has been given the pleasure of catching a glimpse of something that was brand new to him, but seemed ancient to you. In a world that is so dark, you being the ray of sunshine that you are changes everything, and Daryl can see now that even when the world was so much brighter, you brought the same joy wherever you went.

“And now the times are changin’, look at everything that’s come and gone.”

You turn back around and hold Daryl’s hands, smiling up at him to mime the next lyrics. It‘s like you’re taking them and somehow applying them perfectly to this moment, and everything that this group has lost. Everything led to this, to the two of you dancing together, and anything could happen after this, but it wont change what’s going on now.

“Standin’ on your momma’s porch, you told me that it’d last forever. Oh, and when you held my hand, I knew that it was now or never - those were the best days of my life!”

You squeeze his hands, beaming up at him with tears shining in your eyes, but they were happy tears. Happier than the ones you cried when you held Judith for the first time and remembered what it was like to hold a baby. Happier tears than he had ever seen, and the fact they didnt escape your eyes somehow emphasised the emotional weight of them. They didnt need to be cried.

As the song finishes, the people around you applaud, everyone laughing as Maggie and Glenn cheer and whistle for the two of you. Shaking your heads, you make your way back over to your family. The rest of the night is spent venturing back and forth between conversations with your friends and the irresistible pull to the dance floor. But no matter where you are, one of your hands stays in Daryl’s.

By the time everyone has reached their social interaction quota for the day, it is pitch black outside, and the night is cold when you and Daryl step into it. The alcohol in your systems warms you both considerably, and you giggle about nothing at all as you stumble down the street together. You let go of Daryl’s hand to dance ahead of him, for a few seconds you even act like you’re walking on an invisible tightrope as you hop on and off the curb, singing away to yourself.

“In this world we're just beginning to understand the miracle of living. Baby, I was afraid before, but I'm not afraid anymore.” The spirit of Belinda Carlisle grabs ahold of you, and you jump off the curb dramatically, breaking into the chorus. “Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth! They say in heaven love comes first, we’ll make heaven a place on earth!”

In a state of blissful, drunk bewilderment, Daryl watches you dance back over to his side and slip your hand back into his.

Silence is a distant memory as you walk beside him, humming the rest of the song to yourself, neither of you feeling the need to say anything. That could very well be the fault of the alcohol, but that hardly matters now. You finish the song in your own time, and the silence that starts to set in is clearly not something you want, because that’s when you decide to speak up.

“Y’know what we didnt get to do tonight?” You ask, glancing up at Daryl with dreamy eyes.

“What?” He enquires, staring down at you in drunken wonder.

“Slow dance!” You cheer, throwing your arms - and therefore one of Daryl’s hands - into the air.

He shakes his head. “I aint no good at that.”

But at his shy objections, you simply roll your eyes. “Of course you are!”

Moving to stand in front of him, you prevent Daryl from taking another step down the street, and you move the hand you’re holding so that he can hold your waist, before doing the same to his other hand. Daryl is tense for a moment, but as you wrap your arms around his neck and rest your head against his chest, he suddenly feels like the strongest man on the planet.

The two of you start to sway, but for the first time since entering the party, there’s no music being provided by you or a record player. Your only company is the stars above, and the people of Alexandria who are walking past you on their journeys back to their homes. Daryl cant help noticing the way they turn their heads in your direction, the way their gazes linger. He scowls.

“Everyone’s starin’ at you.” Daryl says to you, so quiet he’s almost whispering, but it’s almost impossible for a voice as gruff as his to do that.

“Maybe they’re staring at you?”

Daryl finds it endearing that you would even entertain that thought enough to vocalise it, but he knows the truth, and it causes him to shake his head.

“Naw.”

So, you offer up an alternative. “Maybe they’re jealous of you.”

Daryl is quiet for a moment, his drunken mind struggling to process your words. Had he been sober, he’s sure he wouldnt have even answered you, but the alcohol in his system is encouraging previously unspoken thoughts to reach your ears.

“You aint mine, I aint no threat to ‘em.”

Ever so slowly, you pull away from Daryl. Not enough to leave his warm embrace, but enough to look up at him with the stars reflecting in your eyes. You smile, a smile that he recognises, one that he has only ever seen directed at him. And it is without a doubt his favourite smile on any person he has ever seen.

The world moves in slow motion, then. Your hands unclasp from the back of Daryl’s neck, one of them carefully sliding down his shirt to rest over his pounding heart, but your other hand ventured to tuck some of his hair behind his ear, then caressing his stubbled cheek as it also travels down to rest on the other side of his chest.

“Oh, Daryl, I think they should be terrified of you.”

Unlike his, your voice can whisper, and it wakes butterflies that you had been the first one to bring to life within him. Rising to your tiptoes, you close your eyes, and the hold you have over Daryl makes him close his eyes too. The people passing by disappear, as does the street they walk on. All that’s left is the two of you under a starlit sky. The instant your lips meet his, you create an entire world for him behind his closed eyes. A blinding light that somehow plays a split second reel of every memory spent with you, every smile of yours that he has ever cherished, every time you have had his back or he’s seen you have someone else’s, every occasion that you have made him fall in love with you all over again. But none of them even come close to this.

The kiss is brief, lasting maybe two seconds, and you once again introduce Daryl to something new. He had no idea that he could live an eternity of euphoria in just two seconds. Those rosy cheeks return on either side of that beaming smile, the perfect combination of the one you reserve for him and the one from the world before.

Without a word, you step away from Daryl, intertwining your fingers with his and continuing your casual, stumbling stroll through the night and back to the house.

He doesnt know if the small smile that you brought to his face will ever leave again, but he knows that even if it cant be seen, his heart will always remember this.

[flockofdoves]

help me choose living room furniture!!!

so i was mocking up my living room and it turns out i have less space for couches than i hoped and there are just not that many love seat options that match the sleeper sofa i want this is so fucking sad...

but i still wanna be able to have seats for more than a few people so im trying to figure out which of these is best. i'd love input:

two notes:

other room is the kitchen so its full i just didnt bother putting anything there but the kitchen table

i want a tv stand but am not planning on getting one yet so the dimensions on that could be flexible if needed. same thing with a lamp. and some of these include a short bookcase for boardgames but thats experimental and i may not end up getting one.

ok!! lets start

this first one is very similar to how my old roommate had things set up so i know it works and i like it on an 'ease of walking from upstairs or the front door to kitchen' level

but also i kind of hate it because there are no ceiling lights on the living room side and there are no windows beyond that window behind the blue couch and the sliding glass door in the kitchen so with the tv there it made the whole space feel even darker than it does right now

#1

this one below is maybe best as far as like. compromising between ease of walking around it, walking through it, and not blocking off light?

but while it doesnt matter that much i wish there was more room for side tables while still having it easy to walk through. there arent that many small sidetables available rn i like but maybe could add the teal and red decoupage one to this?

#2

ok actually maybe its possible to have an ok amount of room to navigate and have two side tables if you just remove the bookshelf (could also fit this with the leather top table and the hexagons or brass and glass tables if anyone thinks those look better)

#3

and then heres what full size couches look like when i try to put them with the tv against the wall. a little weird with how couches overlap with other stuff so idk if its worth it and would practically and comfortably amount to more seating

#4

#5

for the one above: second one is a little better for walking past and eventually could try to find one matching sidetable, but could be nice to have two like the first one (the hexagon tables fit about equally if those look better to people)

and then heres similar but with loveseats instead so it fits a bit better

#6

#7

and then for the rest of these: it seems kind of weird to have the tv like this because i'm a little worried about knocking into the tv if i ever walk to the kitchen in the dark but it seems like its easier to fit a lot more stuff this way while still not blocking light from the windows

#8

#9

#10

i already own that circle table and its pretty but also its too tall for a normal side table so i've been trying to sell it but maybe instead of a floor lamp i could just put a normal lamp on it if theres already a big square of space between the couches? or alternatively instead of the one hexagon table jutting out i could just not have the circle table and put the hexagon there instead

or just have the little teal and red table

#11

and then could also just have a love seat in this arrangement too i guess and then thered be even more room to walk by than if the tv was on the wall

#12

#13

idk if this swan one really goes with anything and its so expensive but its so pretty so heres a couple with it..

#14

#15

god idk theres even more combos that could be good that i gave up on trying to figure out bc ive like lost the plot and am driving myself crazy with this

but yeah!! i really would love any input

[piggyjeans]

Heyyy can u do one when Ellie is sad that she has no parents and ryley comforts her and then they cuddle uwu fluff 🥺🥺🥺🥺 and then whatever you’d like?

Not going anywhere (drabble request)

Request by: my best friend hagridbiddie :D

Pairings: ellie and ryley! Comfort + angst + fluff + them being gay besties ;)

Warnings: Ellie’s and Riley’s mom is dead :P

(A/n) MY BEST FRIEND CHALLENGED ME TO WRITE THIS IN THIRTY MINUYES AND I FAILED IT WAS MORE LIKE FORTY FIVE SO ITS SHORT AND I DIDNT PROOF READ BUT I THINK ITS KINDS CUYE MERP LOL SEND ME MKRE REQUESTS PLEASE BECAUSE THIS IS MY CALLING ACTUALLY IM GONAN QUIT MY JOB AND BECOME. AFULL TIME THE LAST OF US FANFIC WRITER

As Riley is sitting in her bed working on homework, she sees Ellie click her lamp off as she does every night. Riley continues to scribble away at answers in her notebook. Usually at night leading up to lights out, while Ellie and Riley are doing their homework or just hanging out in their bedroom, they’re having distant conversations. Little sentences here and there, questions and answers between the two continue on long into the night, but tonight something was off. Riley didn’t really know what was wrong, but Ellie just seemed in a weird mood. Her go lucky attitude wasn’t there, she wasn’t playful or joking or laughing at everything like she usually did.

While Riley is erasing her writing, she hears Ellie sniffle.

She stops what she’s doing immediately. That couldn’t be Ellie… crying? Right? Ellie never cries.

And then Riley hears another sniffle. Her heart drops. She quietly spins her chair around to view Ellie’s small figure facing the wall silently. She’s not reading like she usually does, she doesn’t have her Walkman going, she’s not focused on anything. She’s just sitting in silence. Riley is immediately concerned.

“Ellie,” Riley quietly says into the darkness. Ellie doesn’t register her talking to her at first, too caught up in her own head. She’s never gone this deep into her thoughts, and it’s a lot to process for the fourteen year old girl. “Ellie?”

Suddenly Ellie snaps out of it, quickly wiping her nose and damp cheeks with the sleeve of her hoodie. She turns around quickly, lifting herself up on her hands. “Yeah?”

She doesn’t mean for her voice to break, but she hasn’t used it much today. She usually talks much more, her voice isn’t used to resting. And also the tears coming out of Ellie’s eyes has something to do with it.

“Are you… okay?” Riley asks awkwardly. She doesn’t have a lot of deep conversations with Ellie and she doesn’t want to mess anything up with her best friend. She doesn’t want to over step and she knows Ellie can he stubborn. She just wants to help but she doesn’t know how to do this.

“Of course,” ellie says, trying to act as normal as possible. She’s planning on denying being upset at any cost. She doesn’t even know why she’s upset at anything. Nothing big or important really happened recently. It’s just all coming back to her for some reason.

“Ellie, What’s wrong?”

Ellie laughs softly, “what’s wrong with you,” she says in a sarcastic voice. Trying to play it all off, but Riley knows her best friend more than anyone else in this world. She knows she’s lying, and she’s known something was off since the second she walked into their dorm.

“Seriously, ellie. Come on,” Riley walks over to Ellie’s bed and sits on the edge of it. “You can’t lie to me. I know you too well,” she says softly, reaching over to put her hand on Ellie’s leg. Ellie defensively curls her legs up to her chest, denying the comfort that Riley is trying to offer her.

With the light radiating off of Riley’s desk lamp, she can see Ellie’s eyes fill up with tears once more. She shakes her head trying to get rid of the tears that cloud her vision, but they won’t go away. She puts her head down into her lap and lets them fall.

Ellie feels so humiliated that she’s crying in front of her best friend. She always tries to be strong, and it’s so stupid that she’s crying over something that happens so long ago. But she can’t help crying and she’s dug herself into this hole when she let herself feel these emotions in the first place.

“I never got to mourn my mom,” ellie says in a whisper so quiet Riley almost has to ask her to repeat herself. But when she registers what Ellie says, it takes everything in her to not let her eyes fill up with tears too. Her stomach twists and she feels sick for her friend who she loves so much. She doesn’t ever want her to feel these emotions, and even worse, Riley feels awful that she knows how Ellie feels. She wishes they both could just have normal happy lives, but that’s unfortunately not the way things worked out for either of them.

Riley doesn’t say anything at first, just climbing up to sit herself next to Ellie. Putting her arm around her shoulder and looking her into the eyes. She brushes the fly always falling out of her ponytail behind her ears, and smiles at how beautiful she finds her. She feels all the love in the world for her and it’s a confusing but a beautiful feeling.

“It’s okay, ellie. We have all the time in the world,” Riley says, resting her head on top of Ellie’s. “I’ll always be here for you. You’ll always have my shoulder to cry on,” Riley says.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

-

The last of us Taglist: @hagridbiddie (lmk if u wanna be added!)