#i didnt know i wanted but it is what i needed

[saymio]

Silent Obsession

Pairing: Hwang In-ho (the front man) x Fem!reader

Summary: your husband was missing, and all you did for days was stay at home crying your eyes out...waiting for your dearest husband to come home. this was until inho had decided to come give you a little visit while you were all alone and vulnerable.

Warning: dead dove: do not eat, noncon, degradation, light bdsm, manipulation, In-ho is obsessed with you, rough sex, mentioned age gap (20 years), cheating (not rlly), there might be more but I'm too lazy to write it.

A/N: not proof read. this takes place during s1. (most/all of the beginning contains junho x reader content)

7.2k Words

...

it was 2015, just a few days ago your boyfriend junho had invited you to meet his family on the day of his brothers birthday. his brother was turning 40 and they were hosting a small party, just a few people... and your boyfriend thought this would be a great time to invite you to meet his mom and brother. he was ecstatic at the thought, he really wanted his family to get to know you since last year he had met yours. and he was really serious about you... but it would be an understatement to say you were nervous. hell, you were scared. you wanted to leave a good impression on his family, this was the man you wanted to marry. if his mom didnt approve of you what could you say? she was wrong? that her opinion didn't matter? these thoughts swarmed your head for hours every day....

junho was driving the two of you from your small shared apartment to his moms place. you were sitting in the passenger seat as you stared out the window of the car, you were shaking... not from the cold but from the anxiousness you were brimming with. your fingers tapped against the interior of the car, your nails making a clicking sound every time they touched the material. "are you cold y/n? I told you itd be cold today..you should've worn a bigger jacket" junho glanced at you for a second before staring back at the road and sighing. he hated when this happened, when youd be so insistent in not 'ruining' your outfit that you wouldn't pay attention to whether you'd be cold or not. this always happens! ..but he always wears a jacket for you. because he knows you'll end up shivering from the cold gusts of wind and he cant stand the thought of you suffering from the freezing temperatures. you let out a small chuckle, it was barely over a whisper but junho heard you loud and clear. "why're you laughing.." he frowned a little, not because he's upset or mad at you but just because you werent taking the situation that seriously. "what if you catch a cold? at least think about me when you dress this way..you know I hate when you're in pain.." the last part of his sentence was soft and quiet, as if he was murmuring to himself..making sure you wouldn't hear him. "stop worrying so much babe...I'm not cold or anything.. just a little jittery, its my first time meeting your family after all." you giggled at his genuine worry for you, he was such a drama queen. making these small actions seem so much more serious then they were..but its something that made you love junho. how kind and protecting he was of the people he cared about. "nervous? you don't have to be nervous y/n...I'm sure they'll love you." junho's right hand made its way to your left hand. holding it tight before giving you a soft gentle smile. his ability to sooth you with just his smile had to be studied, he truly was an angel on earth to you, like he had a halo on his head 24/7. you leaned forward a little and left a quick peck on his cheek, quickly leaning back down to your seat and looking away from him. but at the corner of junhos eyes he could see how red you've gotten...he thought it was adorable. how the two of youve been dating for 2 years but you still got flustered over small kisses. you were so innocent and kind, the exact woman he needed in his life...

but little did junho know, he was right. his family did love you..especially his brother.

you had arrived at his mothers house, .. your nerves were spiking, how should you introduce yourself? what if the cake you made was still raw? what if inho doesn't like his present? these thoughts ran through your head as you two waited for someone to open the door. your finger nails tapping against the box the cake you had made was in. the sound deafening you as you just wanted the damn door to open already. you really just hoped youd make a good impression... after what felt like an eternity the door opened, behind to door revealed the birthday boy himself, Hwang In-ho. junho just shook his hand before you bowed at him slightly before shaking his hand and introducing himself briefly. "happy birthday In-ho, my names y/n" In-ho just nodded coldly at you, if the harsh winds outside didn't freeze you his stares did. he stepped aside, allowing the two of you in. he lead the both of you up the apartment complex stairs, your heels making a loud click sound echo though the staircase with every step you took. after only a bit of walking up stairs you had reached the door to where the party was being hosted.. . . when junho had told you itd be a 'party' you expected a family gathering with like 15 people, but upon arrival you quickly realized..it was truly just him, his brother and mom celebrating inho's birthday today. you were pleasantly surprised, you hated large groups of people..it made you skittish and always super nervous. so just 3 other people being there calmed your nerves down, alot. the apartment was small and cozy, very homey and nice. his mother had made a mini feast with delicious foods and decorated the place with a few balloons and banners. it was a seemingly wholesome sight of a mother doing something nice for her sons special day, it made your heart warm up inside your chest as you took a seat at the table. "hi honey, what's your name?" junho's mother grabbed one of your hands, cupping it with the both of hers. you felt yourself blush and smile, you had barely even been inside yet his mother was being so kind already. her soft gentle voice, and kind soft eyes. it was everything that's junho was. "y/n, what about you miss?" you were trying your best to be as polite as possible, you didn't want to tip her off and cause her to hate you.. but you felt kind of uncomfortable.. inho..he was staring at you alot. and it was like he wasnt trying to hide it, his dark eyes piecing into your soul. as if he were looking for the innocence inside of you... to take it away from you. the entire day just led to you getting more and more uncomfortable. you weren't able to stare into his eyes because you felt if you did he would just jump onto you not giving a shit about his mother and brother being there too. "y/n, what would you say if your favorite thing about junho?" inho spoke, his deep voice sent uncomfortable shivers down your spine.. this entire atmosphere..it was odd. but it was like only you caught onto it. you stared at inho before turning to junho...he was blushing. he tried keeping a stoic face but you could tell he was getting flustered before you even spoke. his ears tinted in a light pink an so was his neck. "ah.. well his kindness..I think its the main reason I fell in love...he's very kind and soft spoken to people. at least until they do something wrong..but either way he's an angel." a gentle smile took over your face, you stared at junho and then at inho to continue your sentence..it was obvious you were head over heels for this man.. "he's just a very likable man." inho smiled at you, not speaking a word but it was like his face said them all for you. but they weren't the words you'd expect a caring older brother to say, it was more like a .. 'wow how nice.' but in a sarcastic tone.. his mother on the other hand.. "aww how sweet! young love, its so beautiful." she clasped her hands together before grabbing your forearm and staring up at you with twinkling eyes, it was like she was already envisioning your wedding and family with junho. "promise me you'll take care of my son, okay?"

it was a little past 10pm by now, everyone had eaten a slice of cake and junho's mother adored it. junho was right, his mom did love you. she was already talking about marriage and how she wouldnt be surprised if you made the wedding cake because the one you had brought today was "just too delicious!" you laughed and giggled at her antics, your face flushed in embarrassment. you turned to look at inho, who was staring at you intensely. your happiness almost instantly vanished as you shuffled in your chair. maybe he was upset you hadn't given him his gift yet...that should do it!! maybe he'd stop once you did. "a- inho, I brought you a gift." his eyes widened and it had seemed like he just heard life changing news, maybe he really was just sulking over a present..it was kind of cute. you grabbed your bag from your feet next to you and shuffled around until you found a yellow box, you pushed it towards inho and smiled. your tried your best to give a genuine, heartfelt smile even though you felt uncomfortable with all his glances and stares. he smiled at you, this time it seemed a little less fake...but still not genuine. he opened the box, it was a watch. a very beautiful one. it was shimmering under the dinning room light, a light white silver with simple but detailed engravings on the band of the watch. it was beautiful and it definitely wasn't the cheapest, you don't remember how much it was exactly since you had bought it the same day junho had told you about his brothers birthday..but you knew it was enough to make you wince at the receipt. "I left the receipt folded under the cloth Incase it isn't to your li-" you were cut off by inhos voice, it was calm, not as cold as it was before..it was rather soothing even.. "no. its perfect." he put the watch on, adjusting it so it fit his wrist perfectly. you felt your lips creep into a wide smile, you were so glad this day was going perfectly. "wow, that's such a pretty watch! it must've costed you a lot." their mother interrupted the two of you, staring at the watch that sat on inhos wrist and then at you. "inho, say thank you! be polite." she hit the back of his head harshly, as if she were scolding a little kid... you laughed at the scene, mothers truly see their children as their babies forever. "no- its okay miss don't wo-" it seemed like today was full of interruptions and cut offs as inho did just it again. "thank you y/n, I appreciate it a lot." his face was blank again, no readable expression was there.. but based off his passed reactions..you felt he was being sincere. . . . "thank you miss, thank you inho." you bowed at the both of them while you stood at the front door with junho, showing your gratitude for their kindness and patience with you and your boyfriend. "of course honey, please come back any time you want." junho's mother grabbed your hand one more time, inho nodded along with her. he wasn't a man of many words but it seemed his scary demeanor had vanished. maybe it was never even there and you were just nervous..either way you were glad you didn't leave the house with a weird feeling about your boyfriends brother. juho's mother then shoo'd the two of you away, telling you it was late and you shouldn't stay up so late at such a young age... you felt happy. a warm feeling sat in your heart and stomach, it was like you had just found your second family.

time skip (5 years)

there you sat in the police station, its been days since youve last seen your husband. you were sobbing into the palm of your hands, the salty liquid dripped onto your long dress as you drained ever drop of water from your body. you were terrified. what happened to him?? where was he?? what had he gotten into? you were devastated to say the least, you explained with a shaky and quaky voice that your husband had just told you he was off to investigate his brothers vanishment and would be back by the night..like always! so when you woke up and he wasn't there you just felt dread. you texted him and texted him all day to no response. when he didn't come back for the second day you reported him missing. you reported this story to the police about 9 times already, everyday since you reported him missing you came to the police station for any clues or help..an obviously everyday they told you the same thing...that they had nothing. the only reason they didn't push you off to the side when you came in was well..because your husband worked for them. he was a police officer under them, it'd feel disrespectful to you and junho if they just told you to give up hope on finding your husband. maybe you'd stop after another week or two..you'd realize whatever fate inho had found was the same junho ended to aswell... and not only that but you were pretty, kind and in obvious distress over your husband. they'd feel like they just kicked a sick puppy in the stomach if they told you to go away. so every day, at 8am you come in. usually in a pretty sundress but your state of mind isn't as pretty. your eye bags were prominent and you seemed to constantly be in a state of dissociation.... "you promise there's nothing? please double check! please..I need my husband back. you don't understand" your words were exasperated and rushed, you wanted answers, your husband, closure, anything! your breaths were getting heavy as you reached your delicate hand to the tissue box on the desk infront of you. you felt yourself breaking down, more and more, every. day. the police officer let out a breathy sigh, he was trying his very best to not tell you off. to tell you to go back to your home and cry there or something. to stop wasting his time every single fucking day.. but he couldn't. and he wouldn't. not when your state was some of the worst he's seen in his years of being an officer. "listen ma'am, there seems to be a dead end a-" you slammed your hand onto the table, one still holding the now damp tissue as you started to cry harder. you shook your head violently, indicating a very obvious no...or in this case obvious denial. "no. there..there isn't a dead end. he's alive and he needs your help!! please..please keep searching i-i'll.." you started to dig into your purse, the same one junho had gifted you for your 5th anniversary not long before this whole ordeal. when you felt what you were looking for you snatched it out your bag, like it was grabbing it, stealing it from your grasp. "h-here..d-dont stop searching please. I'll give you this..p-please.." in between words you started to cry more, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping off your skin. your head was lowered and you were looking at your lap. you didn't want to stop looking for him. you wouldn't stop until you knew he was safe. "ma'am...you don't have to give me money for doing my job." he slid the stack of money that you had taken from your purse back to you and shook his head in disapproval. "listen.. sigh we're trying our best okay? we arent just laying around doing nothing, he was our coworker and we want to find him as much as you do.." he looked away from your depressing state, you were catching your breath and shaking, your fists were curled into balls. it was clear, even though he was an officer that he didn't want to find junho nearly as much as you did..he didn't think it would even be possible to. "just..take a break. you're overwhelming yourself and it isn't good for you. junho is strong and you know this, so just believe in him and his ability to live..."

the officer opened a drawer that was next to his seat, it was a little pile of candies.. he grabbed a handful and handed you a few. with a shaky hand you took the candies, your eyes were red and puffy. it was painfully obvious that you had just broken down in tears. you didnt want to speak but it was obvious by the way you acted, that all you wanted right now was for your husband to come back into your embrace. "if you want I can step out and let you calm down." the officer stares at you, awaiting the answer that would leave your lips. "no..its okay.. i-...whatever. thank you, I will take a break to calm down and compose myself. please have a good day." you mumbled the first few words, like a scared child who had just gotten caught with their hand in the cookie jar and is now making up an excuse. you let out a loud sigh before you stood up from your chair, rubbing your tired, sore eyes before fixing your hair and grabbing your bag. you turned around right as you were in front of the office door, you bowed at the officer to show your gratitude as you proceeded to touch the cold metal handle of the door and creaked it open. with a click of the door closing you were walking away from the room you had just broken down in.

there you were, sitting on the edge of the bed you and your husband shared. it felt cold every time you sunk your body into the soft mattress..cold and empty. you weren't used to this, you were used to your husband coming home from work and giving you a kiss. slipping into the soft blankets together as you worked as heaters for each other's bodies. you didn't like this. you didn't want this. you flopped your upper torso onto the bed, causing it to make a squeaking sound to the sudden pressure. your legs were dangling off the side of the bed as you stared up into the ceiling. the world around you felt hazy, like everything that surrounded your body was just an empty void of nothingness. the world was meaningless without junho. you felt your eyes getting heavier and heavier...until they had finally closed shut.

knock... knock... knock you jolted up from your bed, who was here at this time? it's like 2am... you stared at the closed bedroom door, thinking about if it was a good idea to open the doorm. you're a young woman alone at her house at 2am...what if it was a sex trafficker trying to kidnap and rape you!!?? knock... knock... knock the loud but slow knocks echoed throughout the house, the knocks took a 3 second pause inbetween..it was so creepy.. it made your skin crawl.. bu...what if...what if the police have clues about junho and came to talk to you about it they heard of it!! or..what if junho had finally come home..... these thoughts rand through your head, you were scared of what might be behind of that door. but not scared enough to not open it. you slowly got up from your bed, making it squeak under the pressure of your body. your soft slippers made a swooshing sound against the wooden floors as you shuffled your way to the front door... knock... knock.... knock there it was...the knocking. you couldn't help but feel this dry lump from in your throat, but you had to do it...you needed to make sure... if it was some stranger you'd just slam the door on them and go and hide in a closet or something.. your swallowed the lump in your throat and placed your palm on the cold metal of the handle, unlocking it with a small click and turning it clockwise so that it opened the door.. you didn't open it alot, just enough to see who was on the other side. your eyes stared at the dark soulless eyes In front of you, it was a random man. you had no idea why he was here or what he wanted..but he looked very familiar..maybe he was an off duty cop that just wanted to check up on you..? "h-hello..? how can I help you..." your voice was small and quiet, barely above a whisper as you used the door as some kind of shield from the strange man. "yes. you can." you stared up at the man with confused puppy dog eyes, what did that even mean?? you furrowed your eyebrows and squinted your eyes as you stared at him..you were about to close the door on the strange man until something clicked inside of you. you recognized where he was from.. "inho?! w-what? what are you.." your judgmental facial expression quickly changed into one of shook and worry, was he here to see junho? how would you break the news that his brother was now missing too?? you raised your small hand to your mouth, covering it in shock..you didn't even know what to do....what should you say..? your eyes started to water and tear up, you were reminded of the harsh reality junho was in..he was seriously missing and now the person he went missing looking for was In front of you...it seemed like everyone was just against you. mocking the disappearance of your husband. "what...are you doing here? a-are you here for junho..he's.." you let out choked sighs after every other word, taking your hands from your mouth to your entire face. you were a crying mess In front of a man you barely knew, it was so embarrassing. you were so pathetic and sad. everyone's been telling you to just get over it but here you are, sobbing for what felt like the 6th time today. a loud sigh snapped you out of your saddened state,, but...it wasn't a sigh of disapproval or frustration...it was like a sigh of...desire. like he was getting off to the sight your sobbing, scared and fragile body. "you're doing this on purpose, you have to be." you stared up at inho with confusion. you eyebrow was raised, as if asking him what the fuck he meant by that. before you could even mutter a word he pushed you, really harshly. you went flying back into your home, head hitting the hard wood. you felt yourself getting dizzier and dizzier for a few seconds...you felt like you couldn't move, speak or even see anymore...your head was spinning and alarms were ringing from the inside of your head..until you were passed out.

you woke up... you were sitting in the middle of the dining room, it seemed like someone had moved the table and other chairs out the way as it was literally only you. you and the chair you were sitting on. the room was barely lit up, you could only see some of your surroundings due to the singular light that was on. the ligh that bulb was right on top of you..it felt like you were about to get interrogated for murder,,you were terrified. for you wanted to scream, cry and just run away from what was happening. but you couldn't. your ankles were tied onto the legs of the chair. your arms and torso were bounded to the chair itself with a thick rope., it was digging into your skin hard..it hurt. alot.. you wanted to squirm around and get yourself free but you knew you'd just end up knocking the chair down and you'd be stuck in an awkward position..you tried to start screaming but you couldnt, you were confused..it was like your mouth was glued shut.....your eyes darted around the room, looking for anyone, anything to help you. it took you a second for you to put the pieces together but.. once you did you realized.. your mouth was duck taped shut. you didn't know what to do, you were overwhelmed and you just wanted your husband back to you. you closed your eyes shut as warm salty tears fell from your eyes. your eyes just couldn't catch a break, could they? they were tired and sore. even when you werent sleepy it hurt to open and close the..a result of crying for days.. you just wanted to feel happiness again. but clearly that wasn't going to happen soon. was your fate going to be the same as your husbands? were his kidnappers after you to sew your mouth shut?? you didn't want to die..at least not because you got closure.. "you shouldn't cry Infront of me. its a bad idea. I have a thing for little girls that look pretty when they cry." your head jumped forward, looking at the figure that had stepped out the shadows surrounding you.. your eyes widened, remembering that inho had been the one that knocked you over and caused you to black out. the same man that had gone missing 5 years ago, the same man that your brother went missing looking for.. what was he doing here? was he here to kill you? to keep you silent? to assault you? thoughts rand through your head as he took large, slow steps towards you. as if he was mocking your frightened state. he reached his right hand out towards you, your eyes landed on the silver watch he was wearing. it seemed so similar to the one you had gifted all those years ago..but no way he would still be wearing it, right? before you could even process another thought his hand gripped at your hair, pulling your head back and forcing you to literally stare up at him. the roughness of his grip made you wince in pain..he didn't come here with intentions of being nice and if you didn't realize that person you definitely realized that now. you tried to scream and kick your feet, you knew the tape and rope would stop your attempts and make them useless but you still tried. your screams just came out as diluted, muffled noises. the tape had stopped you from making any loud noises... the chair under your only shook a little but it wasn't enough to lighten the grip inho had on your hair. his dark, soulless eyes stared you down. they were like black orbs, nothing behind them. he grinned at you, like he was watching a cartoon and a character had did something funny. he was laughing at you. he thought this was funny. "you look so stupid, you do know that the tape will just silence all your screams, right? or are you too young and dumb to understand that yet." he tilted his head at you and gave you a mockingly confused expression. he was having the time of his fucking life while you were here, scared for your damn life. you glared at him, trying to intimidate him..doing anything to scare him...trying to find the little humanity in him that feels sympathy was clearly never going to happen. so you had to try another approach..even if it wasn't going to work either... and your suspicions were right ..

he just smiled at you, another mockingly fake smile... he released his hand from the grip he had on your hair and pinched your cheeks, just as roughly as he did with your hair. leaving a red mark when he let go... it was like he was treating you like you were a pouting child, stomping your feet because your mom didn't let you buy the comically huge lollipop you really wanted. "youre not scary sweetie." the pet name made you want to throw up in your mouth. he knew well you were his sister in law but here he was, calling you pet names with his disgusting voice. " you know..ive had my eyes on you since i met you...you're just so gorgeous..and delicate." he took a short but slow walk around u and stopped to stand behind you. his cold hands reached to your face and covered your eyes. you couldn't see anything but you knew he was leaned up in your ear...you could feel his hot breath making you unnervingly uncomfortable. "I just wanna ruin you." your breathe hitched in your throat, he was going to rape you. you know it, you had to fight back, you had to. you couldn't let a man that wasn't your husband put his dick inside you. inho took his cold hands away from your face and walked back in front of you. you glanced down at his crotch and...there was a bulge...he was getting off to your scared shape. he truly was an emotionless sadist.. he held up his index finger to your covered lips. "shh. make any noise and I wont think twice about killing you and your husband." your eyes widened as you heard the last part...that meant your husband was alive..and he knew where he was. you nodded slowly, complying with his words. he ripped the piece of tape off your mouth, causing you to let out a yelp in pain. you stared at him with a frightened face, you realized you had just made a loud sound...you didn't want to die you didn't..you didn't want your husband to die! "I said. be quiet." the truth with inho was, he had already killed your husband..at least he thought he did. only a day ago did he shot junho, causing him to fall off the side of the island...he probably drowned and is floating lifeless in the sea right now.. but you didnt need to know that...and it was clear you weren't even aware. your mouth was shut and you tried to silence your heavy rapid breathing....you really did love your husband..he wanted to steal that love from junhos grasp. he leaned down, his face was now perfectly aligned with yours... you wanted to say something, you wanted to scream and cry but if you did he'd kill you...you knew he would... his left hand started to rub your cheek, it was gentle and warm but it just made you hate it even more...his fake kindness. you hated it. his lips connected with yours, at first it seemed like he was trying to be gentle but it was obvious he had quickly gotten bored of it before he got rough. your teeth were clashing with each other as he shoved his tongue into your mouth. exploring every inch of it before he started to nip at your lips...he was aggressive and messy. everything junho wasn't.. this wasn't the kind of kiss you wanted or craved. you felt like your eyes were sewn shut the way you refused to open them, you didn't want to stare at inho. you just wanted this to end..maybe once it did you'd finally have your husband back. after what felt like hours of making out he has finally took his chapped lips off of your soft ones. a string of saliva connected the two of you as he caught his breath. you opened your eyes to stare at him, they were watery..your tears were pricking at the corners of your eyes as you caught your breath. to inho you eyes were like glass marbles...and he wanted to shatter them into pieces. you took deep breaths in an attempt to calm down. if you were calm it wouldn't be as bad. you read this inside your mind over and over and over again. you just prayed he would use you quickly and then leave... "you know, that day..the day where junho has brought you to our mothers house for my birthday.." his eyes wandered away from you, as if he were recalling the day in exact detail, scene by scene...

his eyes snapped back to yours, holding intense eye contact until he continued his sentence... "when I asked you what you loved most about junho you told me you loved his kindness. you said he was a soft person..an angel in your eyes." he crouched down, staring at you with intense eyes. his sharp features were like daggers, stabbing one by one into your heart. "you told me you loved something about him that I lacked. I'm not a kind person. and right now..you probably think I'm the devil instead of an angel like my brother.." he smiled at you, it was a cold, fake smile. if you touched his face right now it'd probably be ice cold.. "thats how I knew someone like you would never willingly be with a man like me.. but it's okay, I'll just force myself onto you." you started to cry, the salty liquid streamed down from your cheeks to your chin. your eyes were red and puffy, you didn't know what to do. you didn't want to be with this man, you didn't want this. inhos left head reached to your face, this time he squeezed the both of your cheeks so that your lips were puckered at him. "got it, princess?" he leaned in to kiss you again, this time he went aggressive right away. forcing his tongue into your mouth, some of your tears dripped onto his mouth. letting him taste the saltiness of your sadness. and it was delicious.

there you sat, he had freed your ankles from the restraints on the chair. nipping and licking at your clit. you hated this, you couldn't stop crying. you felt disgusting, a man that wasn't your husband was licking and eating your pussy out. why would you let this happen? at this point death felt better than breaking your husbands heart. you lets out cries and soft no's as he slurped your juices. you hated that it felt good, you hated that he knew what he was doing. your moans and mewls filled the room, followed with wet sloppy sounds of spit and cum mixed together. he's been eating you out for what felt like hours, you've probably came like 3 times already. you were getting tired..your legs were shaky, trying to close in on themselves but inhos arms kept them wide open for you. "p-please stop. I don't like thi-this...ah...please..let me go already..please.." you were begging with him, your eyes were shaky, your face was flushed and your lips were wet from his aggressive kisses. god. the scene of you begging for him to stop as he abused your clit was one he wanted engraved in his mind forever. he let go of your pussy with a loud pop, your juices and his spit was all over his mouth and chin. he looked like a wild animal that had just eaten his prey alive. with his sleeve he wiped off the liquid on his face. 'ruining' his all black jacket. "you want me to stop but your cum is all over my face and lips. you want me to stop but you keep moaning. just admit you're a slut for me." you close your eyes shut, shaking your head viciously, you don't want him. you don't want this. you just want your husband to be safe. that's all you want... inho scoffs at you, as if you were lying to his face. maybe he truly did believe you wanted this..that you wanted him.. but you knew it wasn't true, you knew that you loved junho and that you werent fighting back back because you just wanted him back.. you'd break down in tears in his arms once he comes home, you'll explain it when he's home. he'd understand..right..? you were lost in your thoughts, but reality snapped you out of them.. 2 long fingers were inside of your core, curling and pumping in and out... it hurt so much. it was nothing like you were used to, slow paced and gentle..no..it was fast and rough. you let out a cry, you were in so much pain it made you want to go insane. the rope that was still tied around your arms and waist dug into your skin, burning you as you struggled under the restraints..trying to find a way out. it felt like inhos was trying to split you in half, the rough skin on his finger pads only made it worse. but ofcoourse it had to feel good, because he knew what he was doing. even if it was messy, even if it was rough, even if you didn't like it..he knew how to make a woman feel good past all the pain. he tilted his head up towards you, his dark almond eyes burned holes into yours. "you gonna cum?" instead of a question, it felt like a demand. demanding you to answer yes, scaring you into saying yes.. but you didn't say yes, you said no. you shook your head and mouthed no to inho, not daring to say it out loud..and it obviously made him upset. he sneered at you before grabbing is free hand and pinching your clit before speeding the pace of his fingers. this was something you've never felt before, the pleasure finally overshadowed the pain and it felt like he had just forced your orgasm out of your body. your cum coated his digits, leaving a slightly milky white color on them.. you were catching your breath, it was hard to breath..the pain, anxiety and fear were catching up to you...you felt your throat slowly closing on you..you felt like you couldn't even breath enough air to supply your lungs are this point.. you were so caught up in your own world that you didn't even realize how he was pressing against the bulge that was begging to be freed from his trousers..he stared at you with bleak eyes, there was nothing behind them...nothing but desire and want..you were scared witless of what he would do to your poor body next. and whatever it was, you didn't want it

the bed was creaking under you, the same bed you and juho slept in everyday... you legs were pressing onto your stomach, the skin rubbing against each other. inho was slamming his cock in and out of you.. touching spots you didn't even know could be reached before this. you felt horrible for feeling so good. but you didn't want this. you were a crying moaning mess. your nails were digging onto his hands, the ones that were pressing you down. you were begging for him to stop, you didn't want this..you felt like you were being forced into this. with the life of your husband on the line.. inho let go of your left thigh and reached to your neck. his freezing hand sending shivers through your body as he started to choke you whilst pounding in and out of you..destroying your gummy insides. he lowered his face to you and scoffed, you looked so pathetic. crying and sobbing acting like you weren't enjoying his fat cock. why wouldn't you just admit you liked it for once? "acting like youre the victim while my cocks deep inside of you. is this all women do? complain about everything..just admit you like it. I wont tell." you felt so degrading. you were getting fucked by a man you barely knew on the bed your missing husband and you slept on every day at somepoint. using his life against you and now he's blaming you? was it really your fault? could you have just turned him away and still gotten junho back? was that an option that you weren't told about? you started crying, your weak arms pushing against his chest with no avail. you just wanted it to stop, you were in pain and now you're being told its your fault you're in this situation. you can never win. you began to sob louder, begging him to let you go, louder and louder until you were wailing like a stupid baby. your hand grasped at the tight grip he had on your neck, then to his chest to push him away again. "shut up." he snarled before taking off his hand from your neck, he had left a bruise from how hard he was gripping...with the same hand he harshly slapped you. shutting your cries up quickly. a red spot started to quickly form, your skin was now irritated in what felt like every place on your body.. "you're such a slut. taking the dick of a man 20 years older than you on the very bed your husband would sleep on. do you not feel ashamed? hmm?" he hummed at you, waiting for your reply. but you didn't even mutter a word, nothing. you decided you'll just take it with no noise, if you stay quiet up maybe it'll end faster?.. it should...shouldn't it..you were trying to comfort yourself in your head.. "you can keep trying to tell yourself otherwise but youre nothing but a dirty cheater. taking dick like a good girl. this probably isn't the first time youve done this huh?" he laughed at your now soulless face, he was right when he said he wanted to ruin you. he was doing that, and it got worse with every second that passed. "ffuck I'm close. you better cum or else I'll js' keep on using you until you do." you started to tear up, your clit twitching and your hole began to clench around his cock. you felt good, but terrible at the same time..you doubted he was cumming because he thought you felt good though, it was a factor but it was probably your shape that made him so horny. you were sad, in pain...tired... he got off to it so bad. you let out quiet pants and moans, indicating to inho that you were close too. he started to get sloppy, his pace getting even faster as the wet slapping sound of skin filled your ears to the brim. you felt your clit pulsating, begging for release...once you came you'd be free..you'd be...you'd be....be.. "a-aa.. fuck fuck fuckfck fuck! ouOUGH~" you let out loud, filthy moans. probably for the first time that night, instead of your cries it was your moans and whimpers that the room was now brimming with. inho loved the sound of your noises, your cries, moans, everything. God it made him so horny...once he felt you cum all over his cock he let his go through as well. fucking his orgasm into you deeper, and deeper with a loud groan..

he kept moving slowly, fucking you through your orgasm as your breathes calmed down.. "I want to ruin every inch of kindness and hope for humanity you have left in you. you're so perfect. perfect to corrupt.." his hand raised to your cheek and started to rub it 'lovingly'. you had a feeling he wasn't going to let you go like he had told you he would.

...

Another not: I FINALLY FINISHED YAY took me like all day again but ....yay!! I hope u guys liked it. I'm pretty proud of it but idk if its ooc or not... but SMASH THE LIKE BUTTON N HIT SUBSCRIBE 4 MORE..!!!!!!!

TAGLIST: @pollys-doublelife @gongyoosgf

[et6rnalsun]

RAW, DEEP, NEXT QUESTION.

you don't even need to ask chris to hit it raw. it would be ridiculous, especially since he has never in his life found himself buying condoms with the intention of using them. he is reckless, never cares, and in sex these characteristics of his all come out like a waterfall.

but in that moment, the one in which his fingers with a torturing and lacerating slowness — the cause of an annoying twist in the lower part of your belly — removed your panties with a knowing smirk, you felt so excited. so wet that you were pretty sure that your juices had already started to soak the sheets of his bed. he had decided to take it easy, teasing you until the last brief moment, and you decided to let your pussy do the talking. “i want it raw” you breathed out unapologetically, your eyes traveling down his v-line exposed after he removed his pants as well.

he let out a deeply amused laugh, tossing his calvin klein boxers in a messy way into the corner of the room. “i know,” he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, his large fingers coming to rest on your thighs to spread them better. "when has it not been like this, huh?"

you couldn’t help but let out a needy whimper when he roughly shifted your position in that way, the cold air suddenly hitting your sensitivity jolted you—you were simply used to the warmth provided by your thighs pressing needily together. “shut up. it would be nice if you- if you used a condom sometime” you murmured with your lower lip trapped between your teeth, your voice dying slightly as he brushed his tip against your puffy and throbbing clit.

“mhm” he continued with those languid movements, spreading your stickiness mixed with his all over your pussy, barely holding back obscene sounds just like yours. “you don’t mean it” and he knew it. he knew how much you liked it too, that the sensation was so raw and bare. that there was no barrier to prevent direct and pleasurable contact. he slowly made his way to your entrance, and with a sharp thrust (different from all that slowness used previously) he quickly entered you, your back arched automatically as your fingers began to tightly grip the sheets. “chris” you moaned loudly, as if asking for pity.

but chris didn’t even listen to you. he was focused on your moans echoing around the room as he found his rhythm with no effort at all, the way you were wet only helping to make it easier. there was no middle ground in his thrusts, he started with full force while holding onto your hips—fingers probably leaving their red mark on the soft skin. his intention was to make you fall in love with the feeling even more, the naked thrill of being. your gummy walls were squeezing him like never before, and the way he felt it so deep in his flesh made him shiver. that was what he liked. you were being loud, and he kept praising you for being so fucking good and welcoming him like this. he then lifted one of your legs, resting it on his shoulder as he deepened the angle mercilessly. “see, baby? see how fuckin’ good this is?”

you were glad it was raw, deep. didnt need other questions.

@secretlocket @waitforyrlove @zweigsangel @sirenedeslily @sosasturns @zebonos @sweetestpoetic @ilovedanielcaesar @sturniolossss @freshloveee @777sturn @jetaimevous @carvedtits

[enigmaris]

Superboy Prime punched through the multiverse. This, of course, defeated the enemy he was fighting that was trying to destroy the world, but multidimensional punches dont just affect the mortal plane.

The ghost zone, the infinite realms, felt the punch like a nuclear blast. Haunts destroyed, ghosts displaced through time and space. It was chaos.

Whats worse? Danny's friend is missing.

Danny had met Robin in the GZ during one of his adventures, the two dead teen vigilantes took to each other like ducks to water. Danny helped Robin learn about being a ghost and Robin taught Danny life skills such as: throwing a punch, lockpicking, and how not to fall for obvious traps that villians set up.

Even Sam and Tucker had met Robin, although since Robin was such a new ghost he wasnt strong enough to leave the zone for long. Young ghosts (halfas aside) needed to spend the first decade or two in the zone before they were stable enough to go back to the mortal side. Danny had offered to fly to gotham with a message for batman, but robin had declined.

Batman and he had had a fight before he died, the guy probably didnt want to see or hear about the robin that failed after all.

Robin had forbidden Danny and the others from looking into Gotham.

Danny would not be in Gotham if his friend hadn't disappeared after the sonic attack that had rocked the ghost zone. He had no idea who Robin had been under the mask. Even in death, his friend had not shared his secret identity. But Danny needed to find his friend before he destabilized into ectoplasmic goop.

So now Danny has to find Batman, convince the guy that ghosts are real and that his adopted son Robin is a ghost. He manages to find the bat signal on top of the GCPD and hails the hero.

Who has a new robin with him.

It hadnt even been a year!!! Batman had replaced his friend with a younger model, this one was wearing pants instead of shorts!! What the hell!!!

Danny is so offended that if he didn't need Batman's help to save Robin, he would so punch the guy in the face. Multiple times.

Danny explains the problem to Batman and FAKE Robin all while keeping his cool.

"His ghost probably ended up near his grave. Just get me to the cemetery, if he's there, i can find him and save him before he fades forever."

Batman agrees.

Internally, Bruce is bluescreening. His mind is just thinking: Jason. Jason. Jason. Jason! Over and over again. He needed to get to his son. Right now.

Tim wasn't expecting his first mission as Robin to go like this, he had just finished his training, but nothing he had trained for prepared him for a ghost that told him that he met Jason while fighting a magic ghost dragon.

When all three get to the cemetary, they find Jason Todd's grave empty. A hole in the grass, just wide enough for a person to crawl through. The casket has a hole punched through it. Parts of the suit Jason was buried in were torn off and caught on splinters of the wood.

"I am gonna be honest. I did not know zombies were a thing." said the ghost.

With that, all hell breaks loose in Gotham.

[geospark]

This can also apply to

"You're too young to have [insert mental or physical ailment]"

Well listen I didnt JUST GET SCOLIOSIS by being all hunched over. Maybe my hunkagahoogs did it. Who knows maybe my hyperflexibility made me more prone to my skeleton not having a stable position it wants to stabilize in.

The thing is also when people are say "oh sorry your [insert disabling reason connected to your physical ailment here], you can't do it" in a mocking tone. Just because i couldn't do it that time because I was extra stiff or my joints weren't agreeing with me that day doesn't mean their excuses for me to not try to do it in the future when I feel like I can

Because what if you haven't done it when your having a stable body day? And plus, If you can't do it you can't do it. But atleast try a few before giving up. Disabilities don't always make folks incapable of doing something completely and others need to understand, sometimes disabilities aren't always present 24/7!

Theres a distinct difference between a disability disabling you for a few days making you feel like you cant do something without physical repurcussions that only affect you. And saying that "oh I can't do that i will hurt myself" 24/7

Doesn't mean you can't try again when you get over a bad flair of pain! "Can't do this right now" is not "i cannot do this ever" and doesn't mean "i don't wanna do that", ablebodies can stop SHAMING others and assuming or inquiring that just because you can't do it, means you don't want to.

So yeah, try it once, try it twice. If ya body hates you every time, then viola don't do that!

part of the reason America still doesn’t have universal healthcare is that a large portion of the healthy population consciously or subconsciously believes that being sick is somehow a moral failing. someone randomly has a heart attack at age 30 and there are people like “well, you should have eaten better, exercised more and drank less” like a medical emergency is proof you were living a life of sloth and sin and it could never happen to them. 

[lxxiezz]

hihi I was wondering if you could write about a college student Reader and they're a workaholic and Shadow tries convincing them to drop the work and be clingy with him teehee 🤭

Sure hun! I'll cook something short up tho. And thank you so much for requesting this! <3

(Not proofread)

Fem!human!reader x Shadow the hedgehog

It was a late Friday night, you were trying to finish the pile of college assignments, since you couldn't be bothered to do them on the weekend, so it felt more convenient to do them all at once right before the evening. You were too engrossed in writing an essay to notice Shadow entering your room as he stood next to where you sat at your desk, he cleared his throat to grab your attention, as you finished a sentence then turned to him.

"Yes?"

You shortly ask, waiting for him to say or ask whatever he needs, so you could get back to work.

"You've been at it for hours, (Name). And it's already almost 12 pm. It's time you stop whatever you're working on."

He demanded in a way, his voice dull as ever. You roll your eyes at him, leaning back in your seat before answering him.

"No, Shadow. I really want to get this done, so i don't have to do it on the weekend."

You say, looking down at him expecting his answer, but he says nothing, just closes your laptop and notebook, as you protest, but it falls on deaf ears, he grabs your wrist, dragging you out of your seat and towards your bed. For such a tiny little guy, he sure was strong; You'd think.

Once he wordlessly shoves you into your beds, he swiftly gets into his usual position next to you on his back and nudges your head to rest on his chest.

"Rest."

Is all he says as he looks at you. You grumble some curses under your breath and give in, relaxing in the cozy covers and on his fluffy, and oddly comfortale chest. His arm curls around your head as his hand rests on your head.

Shadow was a man of few words, but his actions speak more for him than words ever could.

You finally give in to the fatigue, silently thanking him for dragging you to bed.

"Goodnight, (Name)." Was the last thing you heard before you drift into a deep sleep, curled at his side comfortably.

HI SORRY I KINDA DIDNT KNOW HOW TO WRITE THIS BUT I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!!! AGAIN THANK U SM FOR BEING MY FIRST REQUEST, ANON!

[sirxlla]

I Need You Like Water

----------------------------------------------------

Warnings:

Prompt: Friends who shower together

Notes: gender of reader, italics are actions and thoughts.

-With that said it's all under the cut-

Showering with Damian with nothing new especially after a really long night on patrol. Normally, the both of you could barely stand up so having someone else to watch you while you we're showering was something that blossomed out of worry rather than anything else. Tonight, fortunately was not one of those nights but the normality of showering with your best friend was still routine.

Wet skin slipped and slided against itself, yours against his. It had all become overly comfortable and vulnerable. He was so surprisingly kind and soft when no one was around. Damian washed your hair, the bubbles frothing up between his fingers as you leaned back onto him.

"You should be more careful, you can't be taking hits the way you are." The vibration of his voice poured into you from behind. His chest was warm against your back.

"I take the hits so you don't have to." Peering back at him with a bit of a teasing smirk as you bite your lip. You were feeling playful tonight and he was being rather nice. Spinning around, you face twords him looking into his green eyes.

"Can't have my Booty-ful Badass Bestie getting hit cause then I lose my eye candy." You teased and he tried to hide a smile as he tilted your head back to rinse your hair.

"You're trouble, that's all you are and I only keep you around cause you look like a baby kitten but act like a damn cheetah. My Little Trojan Horse." Damian jokes his mouth dipping down to press gentle kisses to the bruise on your cheek, you took it as a opportunity to boldly kiss him. Bringing your lips to his you kissed him softly like a butterfly landing on the delicate flower that is his lips.

Your kiss is soft and careful of his almost fully healed busted lip, your left hand finding his cheek and your other playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

He groaned as your nails naked through his hair, a secret weakness to such a strong man. His arms wrapped around you, one of his hands moving to your lower back pressing his body into yours.

You could feel his hardness against your leg but didn't think twice of it because it's a natural reaction, it didnt 100% meant he wanted to go any further and unless he actually indicated he wanted to go further you weren't going to push him to.

"If you and I weren't friends I'd have you up against the shower glass." He moaned the words into your lips.

"Us being friends stops us how?" Your mouth partially against his as you spoke.

"Wouldn't it ruin this? Like- complicate this?" His dark wet hair stuck against his forehead, he looked cute as he rubbed your hips absentmindedly.

"No...Not if you don't want it to be...Dami, I- I'm okay if you want less or more or casual. I just want you in my life, okay?" You say as your fingers barely caress his wet jaw. His confidence comes back up quickly as he pushes you against the tile and pins your hands above your head.

"You sure, Amai Tenshi?" He spoke to you in one of his various languages he knew, being his recent favorite Japanese and French. He'd had been calling you "Amai Tenshi" in Japanese and "Mon Cheri" in French a lot more often. It was easy to know what Mon Cheri meant but Amai Tenshi was harder to figure out. You didnt wanna ask cause you didnt want him to get embarressed or stop saying it but you knew in the tone in which he said it, it was sweet.

You responded with a nod and your lips already trying to chase his. He lowered his lips to your neck once more but now he was kissing, sucking and biting much more freely. Your wrists and body were pinned to the cool tile behind you as the shower kept hot water pouring onto you both.

His right hand massaged your breast as his left held your wrists in place while his mouth didnt quit prompting you to moan and lean your head back a bit more if that was possible. Damian's hand slowly moved down your body massaging and squeezing as it moved down to pull your thigh over his hip.

"You're sure?" He asks again, he sorta knew the answer by how you were reacting so far and the heat between your thighs raditating into his skin but he was always thorough.

"Oh my fuckin god, yes." You smiled and pulled your hands from his grasp and grabbed his face pulling his face to yours with need and desire, a clear smile upon your lips.

One of his hands found itself in your soaked hair and the other holding up your thighbas he grinded himself into you. He was needy and felt that same ache for you that you felt for him.

You grinded your wet skin against his, he wanted to make sure you were ready before he slipped in so he guided your body against his and once he knew you were ready he pushed his way in, stretching your walls that was entirely everything but unwelcome. Your lips found his again as he started to push his hips against yours which made a moan leave your lips.

Your hips moved with a slow rhythm, a natural feel to them, following his guidance and meeting his pace. Damian's mouth moved to explore your neck and chest leaving a trail of kisses and bites as he went, not leaving any part untouched.

"You feel so good, Mon Cheri." He groaned into your neck as he placed his head there and breathed in deep, taking in your scent as he moved in and out of you. Your hand moved to hold the back of his head, holding him against your skin encouraging him as you pant and smile.

His hips moved faster, moving a hand down your back and to your ass to squeeze as he guided your hips. You eyes fell closes as you moaned on cloud nine.

You could feel the heat of his body against yours, His hands seemed to be everywhere all at once, pulling and guiding your body to move for him and only him.

"You're mine, Amai Tenshi. Say you're mine. Please." He groaned, pleaded and demanded all at once as he spoke into your neck, his lips finding the sensitive skin there leaving a dark bruise.

His movements became more erratic as your walls fluttered and milked at him, your body craving his touch as you held onto him tightly. Your hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging into his skin trying to pull him closer to you.

"Oh, f-fuck. You're- You're close aren't you?" He groaned his head coming up so his forehead was resting against yours. He said as he looked into your eyes, his gaze holding yours captive in his.

"Yeah- Fu- Fuck, Beloved." you responded as your breath comes out in small gasps as he kept his quick and deep pace. His movements hit you just right, bringing you right to where he wanted you. Calling him "Beloved" was sacred to him and meant the world in his mind. You felt your eyes start to tear up as he hit you just right once more.

"C'mere-" Damian spoke softly gently held your face. He reached down and rubbed your clit, his eyes gazing deeply into yours. He chased his high and wss nearing it with you.

"Relax, I've got you. I'm right here. Come for me." He panted out before his hips deeped their movement against yours, he picked up his pace even more. Damian's lips found yours once more, his tongue slipped into your mouth. He groaned against your lips as he neared the edge, his hands holding yours as he squeezed them, coming as he felt you do as well.

Both of you panting against one another in the now cooling water. Water dripped off the both of you.

"I think the hot water's out." Damian almost laughed as he slowly pulled out.

You groaned as he did so, still trying to catch your breath and keep yourself up, your knees feeling weak and jelly-like. He lowered your thigh and used the showerhead to clean the mess between your thighs before picking you up and taking you to his bed. He laid you down and dried you off.

"You alright, Amai Tenshi?" He said sweetly as he climbed in beside you and pulled you to his front side. You nodded, he had taken ever last little bit of energy you had from crimefighting and used it to it's last drop.

"Get some sleep." He rubbed your thighs lovingly and turned out the lights.

"Do- Do we have to stay friends?" You asked half asleep.

"Let's talk in the morning, okay? Get some sleep" He whispered as he gently kissed the back of your neck.

-> Masterlist <-

[bladu-bladu]

I've lived in many places, moved many times, had to start over friendships again and again. Some people keep calling and you want to keep calling them; some people turn out to be only friends of proximity, and once you're no longer around each other, the friendship cools.

I have childhood friends that still live in that city and we are friends because once in three years i show up on their doorstep and say hey there im alive, and they say lets go out one of those days, and then i leave and we will see each other in a few years once again. I don't have their number and I don't want their number, because we dont have anything in common anymore, but we have been friends for decades because that's what we were when we last played together and it is enough to see them healthy and happy even if i dont know the particulars.

I had a friendship that lived on 6 month old message replies, and it was important and meaninful and i very much didnt care all that much about the time it took to answer, because if i said "im coming over next week" id have a spam of gushing and plans making and lets go there and there and do this and that and youre staying for how long and stay a few days at my house. And we would talk about everything and update each other on our lives and sometimes not talk at all, but just being around and realising that yes, we like each other still! was great. It is very strange to be making plans to visit and knowing they're not there anymore, they're not here anymore, but the urge to message is still strong, the friendship is still there, even thought they aren't.

I have a frienship that survived end of school, end of college, moving cities and states and a decade without seeing each other. And i asked for a place to stay and they said you can stay as long as you need. Live with me.

I have a friendship that started at work, and they said they feel inferior because oh you know so much about so many things, and i said you know just as much as i do, everytime you and our common friends talk, i know zero references, i dont know the people, the shows, the meaning, the implication, so who knows more than the other here? and i asked to be invited to their wedding and they started giggling. we have nothing in common besides our profession, and i wish to hold this person forever.

I've had friendships that i thought would survive distance but frizzled out. That i thought were meaningful, but were for (their) convenience. That i thought were real, but where only of proximity.

Maybe it's from the experience of having started over and over and over, but letting go of those that give you nothing but the taste of pain isn't the end of the world. The loneliness, the feeling of being unmoored and what do i do with my time that was theirs before fades away, and you find something else to occupy yourself with, you meet new people. Maybe you stay as acquaintances for years until you or they reach out. It does need courage, it does need work, but it is so very much worth it.

Also re: the fact it’s normal to have a period of time where you have no friends: sometimes this means no “real” friends aka still have people you know from work, school, family, neighbors, acquaintances, etc etc you interact with but are not close with and couldn’t go to for anything on any deeper level. But sometimes it actually does mean no friends. No social interaction, nobody to call, no other option, don’t talk to anyone for days, don’t know who would find out if you died. The thing is there really is coming back from both of those situations ofc it takes a good deal of work and can feel like pulling teeth to put yourself out there but god it pays off. You can always start over from scratch, and it’s true most people are just as lonely as you are

[birdyisthewordyy]

OMGG HIGH SCHOOL JIMMY AU, ITS LIKE WE DIDNT KNOW THAT WE NEEDED THAT, BUT... can you maybe write high school Jimmy x female reader on her period? (It can be whatever you want, fluff, comfort or hcs, i dont really care) Of course, if you are comfortable with it.

KISSES, and have a nice day/night 😘❤️

a/n: YESSS THIS IS SO CUTE I love this

Jimmy with a reader on their period

Acts like he doesn’t care

At all

If you complain he’ll just sigh

But when he sees you’re in genuine pain

He begrudgingly gets a hot water bottle for you

And Tylenol

But that’s IT

If you think this man is gonna go above and beyond I’m so sorry he’s not

He cares about you though

Otherwise why would he do all that

And you know he cares about you too

You’d be teasing him if you weren’t in so much pain

A little more open to cuddling with you now

Protests less

Not like he hates cuddles

He actually loves and needs them

He’s been touch starved since high school

But he’d DIE before he tells you that

He might even play with your hair

If you ask him to buy you pads he’s like that one meme

“What size pussy you wear”

He’s trying

But again he would never tell you that

[transmasculinizing]

it frustrates me how some of the most iconic versions of batman are still by people who dont really care about the character and just like his aesthetic. snyder and nolan wanna empathize how cool and badass he is and thats fine but they try to make their movies way deeper than such surface level portrayals of batman should be. they like that hes dark and brooding but they dont go in depth on why hes like that. or they try to and fail. its not just about his parents dying its that he never healed from it. he didnt have the support system he needed to process his grief in a healthy way and was raised by an emotionally repressed ex military man who wouldnt let himself cross the line of employee and family. he learned not to show emotion outside anger. batmans stoicism isnt because hes badass, its a trauma response. the nolan movies treat batman not killing like its a moral superiority thing when thats not it at all. its what batman might occasionally tell himself it is but in reality its because if he starts he knows he wont be able to stop. he also has flaw of believing its like that for everyone but thats a whole other discussion. anyways not killing is in fact a mental block and its emotional because hes mentally ill. oh but we couldnt explore that because that would imply the guy were using for our toxic masculinity power fantasy is weak because he cant mentally handle something. its like.we want to hurt batman but we dont want him to feel anything about it other than maybe anger to show how tough and hypermasculine he is. this also correlates in why the live action batman movies dont want robin. they dont want batman to be a dad because thats not cool i guess. if you cant think of your batman comforting a crying child you didnt write batman though. i swear this obsession with not acknowledging that just because batman is bad at showing his emotions besides anger doesnt mean he doesnt have them has bled into the comics to. batman was literally a good dad to jason pre crisis but can you imagine nolans batman being a good dad? i cant personally. hes a man child. so now comics batman was shitty to jason when he was robin in order for batman to feel despair he needs to first feel love. his parents werent the only thing he loved. he loves his city, his friends, justice and doing whats right, his 2 major love interest and he absolutely loves his family im not saying all batman media needs to be a deep deconstruction of his psyche but if youre gonna focus on batman being 2 kool for emotions being badass rather than a result of his trauma dont pretend your movie is deeper than it actaually is

[epicmarrowbonesoup]

Headcannon that postcannon Charles doesnt like leaving Edwin alone for long streches of time.

You know the way he did in the beggining of the show, leaving Edwin alone so that Charles could be with Crystal or just giving Edwin space to be with other people(Monty or Niko). I think post-Hell Charles Rowland would feel uneasy about not having Edwin in his line of sight while at the same time not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

Like how in the last episode Edwin is alone and Charles leaves others to pack so he could check up on Edwin, that sort of thing. Or how he was hessitent to follow Crystals plan at first becouse he has to rescue(see) Edwin ( to me it also looks like Charles was so busy rushing to Edwin he didnt noitice Nikos body but that might just be me)

Anyways i think it would be a fun direction to take Charles's characther in. Considering in s1 he is already weary of Edwin spending time with the Cat King, youd get that whole jealousy thing but doubled and mixed in with his feeling of inadequacy as the brawn. But also s1 establishes Charles as being at least partially insecure about their bond: having to correct Edwin whenever Edwin says how Charles would move on quickly and constanty seeking reassurment from edwin about their friendship (ep 1 when he asks what would happen if death came, ep 4 with his fight with the night nurse, seeing Brad and Hunter the best friends as him and Edwin)

And then you also have the reversal of how Edwin was jealous of Charles spending lots of times with Crystal and now Charles is protesting every second Edwin isnt with him. And ofcourse Charles does it from a place of fear and love but Edwin would maybe interpret it the wrong way, who knows?

And, from what the writers have told us, Edwin in s2 spent at least some amount of time flirting with other men (hopefully without Charles lurking in the background) and from what we know from that one cameo Jayden and George did, there was a lot of tension between the boys...

Now im not a writer i didnt write the s2 script or anything, im not saying this is what would have happened in s2 but.... i think the tension might have come from that. From Charles seeing Hell as a traumatic expirience and his PTSD manifesting as his insistence on Edwin not leaving his side, Charles's insecurities and his fear of losing Edwin being at an all time high. While Edwin, who has learnd how to forget Hell, is acting as if nothing happened at all, exploring his sexuality and making new friends in the process.

It would make Charles confront all of the skeletons he's been hiding in the closet but also it would ask the simple question of why is Charles so insecure in their friendship? Why is he constantly mentioning them being best mates? Why does he need it so much? Why is he constantly searching from reassurences that they are best friends?

And for more angst, from Edwins point of view he is doing everything Charles wanted him to do in s1. Hes accepting and letting the dead boy detectives workplace to grow and change, he is being more open and friendlier, he is encouraging Charles friendship/relationship with Crystal and he is no longer playing trauma Olympics at the drop of a hat. So why is Charles so mad? Hes working through his shame and his supiriority complex, hes growing as a person and Charles is still stuck at the staircase.

[werewolf-femboy-maid]

guys straight up I just like :"0

dude like uh just..... so I was sitting here right? after I changed into pajamas and got a good piano playlist on and I had the 4th gif on. and like im gonna go to the bathroom and I was like oh im gonna eat my yummy tomato sardines from the phillipenes later after I go to the bathroom!! yummy!!! I never tried before sounds so good.

um and then I spat out my gum because I wanted to let my palate rest for a little, so I sat down and spat out my gum and started eating the week old Christmas treats on my desk. that had been out the whole time. there are multiple flies in my room. ive accepted the present and anticipate the future. I SUCCESSFULLY PUT CLITHES IN THE CLOSET IMMEDIATELY AFTTER CHANGINT!!

but ANYWAYA

was sitting and eating the treats and I saw the present thats just been sitting there on my desk that I forgot about. I just never considered opening it until now...

I didnt even know who it was from. I was quite curious. the mood was quite perfect with the piano music...

I looked at the Christmas card that was attached to the shiny purple ribbon. I looked at it and it was nice on the front very good and had a lot of houses in 3d on the front just sticking out. it was nice it had snow and it was night time.

I finally opened the card. it said "from Santa and everyone else" 2024...

it was from 2024... "huh... I guess Santa gets forgetful too... lolol"

and the back of the card it said thoughtfully designed by Charlotte Evans

nice stuff it even said on the top what the default message inside is. it said merry Christmas and a happy new year

any way I got to opening the present. finally... I opened the wrap (lmao I thought it was a white background with Christmas trees but no its a red background with green and purple and white shapes and individual letters) and I saw... a book... a thick book with thick pages but was light... cardboard pages with rounded edges...

I got to the corner of the back... kittens... HUH?????? a bunch of kitty books? it seemed like the back of a children's book series advertising the other ones...??? oh dear did Santa put me on his special ed list...? lololol...

I opened the front.

I stared at the book for a few seconds, completely motionless, before my eyes had to piss a relatively plentiful amount. I silently let the tears go ahead and do their thing. the chemicals in my mind, the grief the anger, every tear helped it a little. the loneliness. the inevitable loneliness that makes companionship so necessary to society. as much as self relfection.

it had a little boy on an elephant; it was a bright blue day. it said, in a nice cursive ish font, "You're here for a reason"

thats what got me man. thats why privilege is something that does need to be talked about. the separation of families is one of the first attacks of any serious threat.

momoslimes_ on ig

[stevie-petey]

a cutesy fluff blurb w steve and bug for all the angst coming from the season 4 rewrite😭😭 i hate to see bug and steve go through all this but your writing is just so so so incredible that i’m just completely and utterly drawn to it.

i missed steve and bug so much so heres a fluffy blurb of everyone finding out theyre finally together <3

enjoy !

"steve and i are dating."

you hold your breath, bracing for impact. steve is frozen next to you, perched on the edge of the couch as if getting ready to run at the first sign of danger.

all week the two of you have agonized over this. telling everyone that youre now together was a given. obviously it wouldnt be a secret, but telling everyone seemed simple at first. now, with dozens of eyes staring at you: its terrifying.

especially when the news is met with complete and utter silence.

mike yawns. el and max stifle giggles.

"youre all shockingly quiet right now." you finally say, hating this immensely.

robin looks up at the ceiling, suddenly finding the wheelers basement a fascinating thing. will picks at the carpet beneath him and dustin taps his leg impatiently on the ground.

lucas, bless him, has the decency to smile at you. "thats great, y/n."

"did we..." steve scratches the back of his neck. "did we, uh. miss something?"

"why the hell is everyone acting so weird?" you butt in, now really starting to wonder if you and steve did something heinous to deserve the weird silent treatment.

jonathan shifts on the floor, and your eyes narrow at him instantly. crossing your arms, you jut your chin out at him. "fess up, byers. whats going on?"

his eyes widen slightly, and nancy, who is sitting next to him holding his hand, bites back a smile. your eyes narrow even more and jonathan finally releases a laugh.

"stop glaring at everyone, bug." he looks at you fondly. "i think we're all just wondering who won."

your face scrunches in confusion. "what...?"

dustin jumps up from his seat, sick of the anticipation. "just spit it out already! did i win? for the love of god, please tell me you guys got together on july 11th. please."

nancy raises her hand. "or july 16th. id prefer that date, actually."

"what about y/n's birthday? i thought everyone agreed my date made the most sense." will speaks up, looking eagerly at you.

an offended scoff escapes your mouth when you finally realize whats going on. "that bet seriously cant still be going on."

"answer the question, y/n!" dustin wails, practically choking on the taste of victory of the $30 that went into the betting pool. "when exactly did you and steve finally seal the deal, huh?"

"what the hell is this kid talking about?" steve looks around the room, completely confused. "why does it matter when we got together?"

jonathan explains before you can. "we all placed bets on when youd get together. lucas and max were out of the running a while ago. but me, nance, dustin, and will are still in."

"i, for one, am still personally offended that i wasnt allowed to join the bet when i found out about it." robin says, looking pointedly at him. "just so you know."

"sorry," jonathan says without any real sympathy. "rules are rules."

your face burns wildly. "y'all are insane and this is such a gross invasion of privacy-"

"screw privacy! tell me when steve found a pair of balls and asked you out." dustin stumbles in front of you and steve now, panting. "i need the money!"

"dustin!"

steve places his hands on his hips. "i already had balls, thank you very much."

you elbow him. "please stop talking."

"the kid was doubting my manhood-"

"do you enjoy having my elbow in your ribs?"

mike, no longer finding this conversation amusing, stands up and claps his hands. "alright, im bored. will," he turns to him. "clearly they didnt get together on y/n's birthday. they were locked in a death lair and not even steve is dumb enough to make their anniversary that date. so youre out."

steve wants to argue with him, but admittedly he cant.

mike then turns to dustin. "it wasnt july 11th, either. considering the fact that we had funerals to attend and we all know y/n's crippling guilt complex."

"hey!"

"hes not wrong, angel."

you elbow steve again and he doubles over in pain.

then mike turns to nancy. "and it wasnt july 16th because its currently the 27th and theres no way in hell harrington would be able to keep his mouth shut for that long."

again steve really wants to argue with mike, but, unfortunately, hes right.

mike finally turns to jonathan, sighing tiredly. "which leaves us with you and your guess of july 19th. aka: the only possible date left. wow, shocker! jonathan byers correctly guessed something about y/n henderson!" he spins around, glaring at you as if this somehow all your fault. "are we done here now?"

robin, not at all whispering quietly, leans over to max. "this kid has some serious issues."

"like you wouldnt believe," the girl mumbles. "trust me."

dustin shoves mike out of the way, inadvertently causing the teen to stumble into jonathan and fall on top of his sister. "hes wrong, right? please tell me hes wrong. y/n, im your brother. we are blood."

"well, technically mike is wrong. july 19th isnt when we got together." you begin to say, raising your voice when dustin starts to cheer wildly. "it was july 20th, so mike isnt wrong about jonathan winning."

two things happen at once.

first, dustin falls to his knees in despair, screaming in agony as max and el cover their ears and glare at him.

the second thing that happens is dustin regaining his senses and then tackling jonathan, with nancy and will right behind him.

its a mess of screams and screeches as jonathan tries to defend himself, but you simply press your back against steves chest and watch the storm unfold with slight vindication.

serves the fuckers right for betting on your private life like a game of poker.

"how much money do you think our relationship ended up being worth?" steve asks you, wincing under his breath when he sees dustin pinch jonathans nose.

"better be at least $20. if be offended if its anything less than that."

he laughs, the sensation of it sending vibrations down your own body. he kisses the crown of your head. "thats my girl."

"how did you know?" dustin has jonathan pinned now. "how do you always win?"

"get off me! it was just a lucky guess-"

"that was $30 you asshole!"

you hum, pleased. "think i can convince jonathan to give me some of his cut?"

steve laughs again. "only if you give me a percentage as well."

[bigsharter666]

how to be alone, a lonely person's guide:

1. make a mug of tea, try to appreciate the silence. you can hear every bubble in the kettle if you really try. hold your cup gently, press it against your body. feel the warmth spreading. graze your knuckles against it, feel them sting. forget about it until its cold. sometimes tea isnt even about drinking it, it's just about having something to keep you company.

2. go out to lunch, because you decided you were going to. you dont need a reason to get your favourite food, youre allowed to do it! when the waitress asks you if you are waiting for someone, try not to cry.

3. realise how quiet lunch is when it's just you. you didnt bring anything to do, that was stupid. what was the plan? just eat too quickly, leave even faster. maybe next time bring a book or something, you know one of the ones youre always pretending you will read? yeah that one.

4. go see a movie! movies are a great way to pass the time. try not to look at the couples and friend groups. noone cares that youre alone, they probably dont even notice. try not to think about it. theyre not laughing at you just stop thinking about it.

5. take up a hobby, tumblr blogging or journaling or knitting or hoarding. it helps fill the time. arent the days just so long? its crazy how much time you have. youre looking at the clock too often, stop doing that! seriously, it just makes time go slower. why cant you just enjoy yourself? do you even like knitting? what do you like then? whatever i guess you can just go to sleep early.

6. take a sleeping pill, take a few. have a drink. why not? its not like anyone is keeping track. pick up smoking again, because you forgot why you quit in the first place. it feels good, whats wrong with just wanting to feel good sometimes? youre young it doesnt even matter. tomorrow will be better. tomorrow you will be better. figure it out, it wont always be this hard. tomorrow will be better.

[hakugreenfinch]

i replayed this conversation again today and im finding it very interesting and telling of how curly and jimmy think of responsibility.

i will not go very deep into dissecting how faulty curly is, there are plenty of posts out there about that and i dont want this to just be another.

what i noticed is that curly uses singular first and second person in this scene when talking about what to do next. "you will get through this" "i can fix this", "you" and "i" separately. he knows he should have been keeping his men in check but he doesnt group himself together with jimmy. "you did this, i can try and run damage control as much as possible." to curly, being responsible for his crew means making sure everyone is doing as fine as they can be and helping them out if his help is needed, which is why he offers to do jimmy's evaluation and gets daisuke out of the foam. this is also why realizing that he hasnt been properly looking out for anya gets him so worked up when he finds her in the cockpit and why it, well, breaks him that its too late to keep things together. half of his crew is caught up in something he cant resolve and its his fault that he didnt notice sooner that something is up.

jimmy on the other hand (initially) uses plural first person. its "we failed", its "us". to him curly is not really a separate person who has his own thing going on and it shows even more when he shifts to second person - he slowly pushes the blame onto curly. its what "we" did, its what "you" will be remembered for. theyre like a team where he does whatever and can pull curly out of his pocket and have him take the fall for it. curly's responsibility to jimmy means anything can be blamed on him. i mean its pretty wild to look someone in the eye and say "actually, me raping someone is your fault only" isnt it? but thats what he believes. we see him associating the captains responsibility with another opportunity to play the victim during the third pill feeding too. to him its not about a mutual exchange with those under him where he has to do things for the team to really work as a team, its about everyone doing what he wants and having to do nothing for it.

i dont really have a pretty ending for this. im just very intrigued by the subtle pseudo power play between these two, curly desperately trying to fix something he should have noticed is breaking long ago and jimmy only caring about bringing him down as well if he has to go down, not as in "we are in this together", more like so that he has someone to fall on when hes pushed.

[invalidchecksum]

(Don't know if just rebbloging will make you see it or if I also need to @burnt-coffeepot to make you see my message)

A bit more than a year ago I was halfway through the final year of my country's equivalent of high school and it was about time to decide what to do afterwards.

I enjoy programming and computer science and as my high school specialized within tech I thought I might as well continue that path. I also had decided that I wanted to study abroad so I had contacted a service that help finding such opportunities.

It was then at that point around a year ago that the service got back to me after talking with potential schools and told me that there was essentially only a single college that fit the description I asked for.

And it didnt fit with what I had imagined.

That almost shock kinda turned me of the idea in its entirety, for a long time I had been quite certain what I wanted to do after high school and suddenly I had absolutely no idea.

Then I found your post.

(Which was pretty lucky as I saw it on my dash after back then only having just recently created my account where I kinda just randomly searched for things I liked and followed the tags that showed up.)

Your post made studying math sound wonderfull. It sounded like a dream, and I wanted in.

I have for a long time liked math, I chose every single extra math course my high school offered but it was seeing your post that made me actually decide to continue studying it.

There has until this point for me been two key points within my math journey, the first was in about third grade when I found the book that transformed math from something I merely was good at to something I enjoy doing, and the second point was seeing your post.

During my resently finished first semester at university there has been multiple times during lectures where I have kinda just stopped and thought "yes I am in the right place, I love it here".

And well @burnt-coffeepot, I just want to sincerely thank you for showing me this path.

(I haven't really used my tumblr account since creating it a year ago so might as well make my first post this significant one :D)

guys i just realized that maybe in 3 to 4 (to 5) years i will have a math degree

and then i may choose to keep studying and get a second one (most likely)

but then i could (if i really am smart enough) get a phd in math

guys i just realized im gonna do math for the rest of my life and this made me really happy for a moment

[likablemuffin]

Kendra always did hate the turtles. (Whumptober)

(From: Random ROTTMNT oneshots)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Day 10: Blow to the head

So, Donnie had made the Purple Dragons mad.

....Again.

Oh well, the Purple Dragons are just three teenagers; it's not too hard to beat them!

Well, that would be what they would be saying if what happened hadn't happened.

Donnie had foiled one of the Purple Dragons plans again, and obviously, they were pretty pissed.

"CURSE YOU, VON RYAN!" Kendra yells as she uses her new jetpack to start flying away. "Von Ryan? Donnie, who the fuck is Von Ryan??" Leo straightens his posture as he asks this. "Language Leo." Raph sends a small glare Leo's way. "No, but like, genuinely, who is Von Ryan. Does anyone know."

Kendra groans angrily from above them. "YOUR BROTHER YOU IDIOTS!" Leo looks up at Kendra and gives her a confused expression. "Are they like one of our lost siblings, or..." "OH MY GOSH, WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!" "No, cause, like, I'm genuinely asking." Kendra grits her teeth and takes out what looks like a genuine gun. 

"Oh shoot-" Leo manages to slip out before Kendra starts trying to SHOOT HIM. "Kendra! Have you lost your mind?!" Donnie calls out to Kendra as he dodges her attacks as well. "I am so tired of you stupid turtles ruining all my plans! I'm going to get rid of you once and for all!" Raph somehow manages to block a bullet shot right at him with his weapons. "So you're going to kill us??" 

Jeremy is on a roof right across from the turtles and he yells up to Kendra. "YEAH- ARENT WE SUPPOSED TO JUST BE STEALING SOMETHING? NOT...MURDER??" Kendra groans from where she's flying and stops shooting at the turtles. "I DIDNT ASK YOU, JEREMY! SO SHUT UP!" Jeremy slumps in defeat.

"Oh, come on now, that's no way to treat one of your friends, is it?" Leo speaks up from his spot while he waits for more action to occur. "YOU LITTLE-" And just like that, Kendra starts shooting at the boys again. 

After a while, Kendra, of course, runs out of bullets. "OH FUCK THIS STUPID THING!!" Kendra tosses the gun to the ground and just straight up charges at the turtles. "Hey, HEY! JEEZ-" Leo yells as Kendra narrowly misses pushing him off the roof. "Do you seriously want to push us off? Thats not very your style, Kendra." "SHUT UP VON RYAN!" Leo knowingly nods his head from where he's standing. "Ohhhh, that's who Von Ryan is."

Kendra turns around to glare at Leo before using her jetpack to shove herself towards him. 

And she knocks into him.

And she pushes him.

Off of the roof.

"LEO!!" Every one of his brothers screams. The world almost seems to slow down as Leo's body makes contact with the wall of an alley and his head snaps back, hitting the side of it. His whole vision goes white, and he gasps. "KENDRA!" Jeremy screams after her. But Leo can barely even hear him. A ringing noise enters his ears as both he and Kendra fall down the side of the wall.

"LEO!!" Donnie screams as he watches his brother his twin  get pushed off the side of the building by that purple-haired bitch. 

Donnie instantly jumps off the side of the building and breaks into a roll at the bottom. His ankle almost gives out, but that's not what matters right now. Leo and Kendra are lying almost directly next to each other. Kendra is struggling to get up off the floor, while Leo just lies there breathing heavily. Donnie rushes over and grabs Kendra by the collar of her shirt. "You." Kendra looks at him with an actually scared look on her face, and Donnie can't help but smirk at it. "You are absolutely dead."

Donnie throws Kendra to the ground, but before he can take out his tech bo, Raph comes up to him. "Donnie, let's get Leo out of here. We can deal with Kendra later." Donnie looks over to Raph, almost about to ask him if he was serious, but the look on Raph's face already tells Donnie what he needs to know.

Donnie glances over to Leo and notices Leo's eyes starting to close. Donnie practically lunges forward and immediately starts gently tapping Leo's cheek. "No, no, don't fall asleep-" Leo dazedly looks up at Donnie and mumbles so quietly Donnie can barely hear, "Donn...ie..?" "Yes, yes, its me, you dumb dumb; please keep your eyes open for me, okay?" Leo's eyelids start to drop slightly, but he still smiles at Donnie and says, "W-We'll...do..."

Raph walks up to the both of them, and Mikey comes running up from the entrance to the alley. "Should I carry him?" Raph speaks up as he gently puts his shoulder on Donnie's shoulder. Donnie waves Raph's hand off. "No, I'll carry him." Mikey looks at him worriedly and crouches down in front of him. "Are you sure Dee?" Donnie glares at him, although he feels bad doing so almost immediately after. "Sorry- yes, I'm sure. Thank you for your concern, Michael."

Mikey nods at him and smiles. Raph and Mikey share a glance before they both start walking to the street where the turtle tank is parked. Donnie very carefully picks Leo up and starts following them. As Donnie starts walking towards the street, he feels a cold hand touch his arm, and when he looks down, he sees Leo staring at him. "I-It'll be...o...kay, Don..." Donnie takes a deep breath. "I know. You'll be fine."

And as they all walk into the turtle tank and Raph starts driving, Leo's eyes close because he's safe in Donnie's arms. He'll be fine. 

He knows.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~