#i didnt get to finish taking my trash out but its too dark now so i will do that tomorrow.

[pawzunyan]

i got invites out to dinner with my coworkers today and they also took me grocery shopping ^w^) very nice day today i cant wait to enjoy my weekend

[heartbreakgrill]

Anyone Else; Calum Hood

You leaned down over Calum’s shoulder, blocking out the bright sunset behind the two of you. He inhaled, reveling in the coconut scent of your shampoo, fused with sunscreen and chlorine-d pool water. He shook his head lightly, reminding himself to open his eyes and focus on the phone in his hand. You lifted your free hand, that wasn’t cradling a White Claw, and pointed at a profile.

“She’s super cute! I feel like she’s your type,” you commented at the picture of a taller girl, sporting fishnets and a Led Zeppelin.

“You think I’m only into girls who like rock?” Calum chuckled a little.

You shrugged, moving away to tug over a free camping chair. You leaned back in, giving Calum the view of your neck as your hair fell away from it. He licked his lips as you spoke again, “I mean, I think you look good next to someone like that based on how you dress and shit. If you’re not into that, dont let me pressure you.”

You giggled and twisted around to look at him. His eyes focused in on yours, “Uh, yeah. Or, no, youre good. Youre not pressuring me. Just helping, right?”

“Right,” you scrunched your eyes in a beat, to show you were somewhat confused by his confusion. “Anyways, swipe right or left and lets move along.”

“Okay.” Cal did as you said, allowing the screen to switch to another girl.

“Oh, no, no, she looks too much like Crystal,” you giggled lightly. “Love Crystal, but that’d be creepy.”

“So I can’t like anyone who looks like anybody in our friend group?” Calum remarked, his heart hoping you wouldn’t break it by what you would reply with.

You wriggled in your seat, “I dont know. I feel like its weird. If they look like Luke, Ill allow it.”

His lips fumbled before his brain could reach out and grasp the words and shuffle them back into a drawer, “What if they look like you?”

“Yeah, right,” you looked back at him, “I’m unique. One of a kind, baby.”

Calum flushed as you spoke. He fumbled again, about to spill again, when Sierra called your name from the pool. “Show me that boy from last weekend?”

You quickly got up, excusing yourself from Calum, and pranced across the concrete patio to the fire pit, where Luke and Sierra were cuddled up, talking to another one of your friends. Calum tried not to break his neck and watch you animatedly talk about your Tinder date last Saturday. Yet he knew it was noticeable he was trying to pry.

He felt a hand slap down on his shoulder and Calum jumped in his seat. Michael took your seat, Crystal trailing along behind and slinking into his lap. “You got it bad, mate.”

Crystal grinned at him, “You really do.”

Calum shook his head, “Dont know what youre talking about.”

“Oh, my God,” Michael pressed his fingers to his forehead, eyes cartwheeling in their sockets. “Seriously, I never understand situations like this. I dont think it’d ruin your friendship if you asked to kiss her and she rejected you.”

“It wouldn’t,” Calum remarked, speaking the honest truth. He shifted in his seat, glancing at you before meeting Michael’s eyes. “But it would ruin me. And I dont really want a broken heart right now.”

Crystal’s eyes widened and she leaned forward. “Cal, is it worse than we thought?”

“Worse?” Michael furrowed his brows, looking between the two before realization hit him like chance. “Oh, shit. Dude?”

Calum stood suddenly, tossing his empty beer can in the garbage. “I’m going home. See ya later.”

He didn’t give them the chance to say anything else as he gathered his damp towel, shoes, and bag from around him. He passed through the kitchen, waving lazily to Ashton and Kay, who were preparing the food for s’mores.

“Not staying?” Ashton called after him.

He heard Kay mutter something else to him and Ashton shocked a small, “Oh.”

You finished telling the story of Matt, who you had gone on a date with last week as Calum was pulling out of the driveway. “Yeah, but I don’t know if I’m going see him again.”

“Why?” Luke asked, puzzled by the fact that you sounded like you were really interested in him for the past five minutes, but didn’t wanna go on another date.

“I dont know,” you crossed your arms. “He’s just not my type. He’s kinda, like, stern. He’s funny, but funny in an unconventional way. He doesnt seem like he’d, I dont know, be playful in a relationship. Does that make sense? i want a guy who can be playful, but who’s mature.”

Sierra grinned to herself, nudging Luke with her elbow. “Yeah, that makes sense. Hey, ya know, Y/N?”

“Hm?” You looked to her.

Luke took over, “We know someone who’s like that.”

“Oh!” You smiled wider, “Who?”

You felt Michael slink an arm over your shoulder, whisper in your ear, “Calum.”

You moved from under him, his weight overbearing to you. “Yeah, okay.”

“What’s wrong with him?” Crystal sat on the couch across from Sierra.

“Nothings wrong. Hes just super out of my league. Plus, I’m not his type. I’m all, strawberries and picnics and, like, Hozier. He listens to Nickelback and he’d rather go to a club than kayak. I dont know, I feel like he wouldn’t like me because of my interests.”

“Cal’s a softer, you know that, right?” Luke replied. “Hes a big rockstar, yeah, but he loves hiking and nature, too.“

“He loves y- ow!” Michael groaned out, Crystal interrupting him with a shove to the ribs.

You gave him a strange look before looking back to Luke, “I know, but still. He’s still out of my league.”

-

The weeks passed, more pool parties and barbecues filling your lengthened free summer days that you weren’t working or going on sporadic Tinder dates. You’d been on five total, with four different guys. Each party brought more stories, more tall tales of Derek, the free lance artist who wore a scarf and ordered you red wine, Gideon, the police officer who hadn’t put his career in his bio, and got slightly upset when you talked about your advocacy for human rights. Spencer was just weird, with piles of facts, criticizing your jokes for being politically incorrect or scientifically impossible. However, Aaron was nearly perfect. He was super sweet, dressed like a normal person, and laughed at your jokes, agreed passionately with your advocacy.

Each time you retold a story, Calum would slide down in his seat, frown at the world around him, excuse himself from the party too soon. You were catching on slightly, smelling the jealousy seeping from his pores, though it was masked by chlorine. You figured he was just jealous because he couldn’t manage to match with a good enough woman on Tinder. So, tonight- though you had to leave early for a date with Aaron- you would most definitely find him a match.

Calum had arrived early to Luke’s house to get the meat started on the grill. He was flipping a few burgers, sipping at his first beer with absentminded concentration. His mind wandered as Luke rambled off his ear about something he saw on Twitter. Luke laughed at a joke he made, while Calum’s eyes lost focus and went blurry. His thoughts swirled with you- your shampoo, and its coconut scent that reminded him of his first crush in middle school. Your eyes were seen in so many, so similar, yet freckled with so much heartbreak and kindness that emitted from your soft spoken lips and light hands that had contact with the stars.

He didn’t care if he would look better next to a girl with jet black hair and a perfect body. He didn’t care if they played bass, too, or if they were famous and loved The Rolling Stones. He didn’t care if she was hard headed and loud. He liked that you were soft and quiet- he was, too. He loved that you dressed so different; your floral patterns went well with his dark jeans t-shirt combos. He didnt care about things looked, just how they felt. And things with you...Hell, you felt good.

Calum jumped as Luke shouted, “Youre burning the burger- Cal!”

Calum dropped his beer can, spilling the liquid all over his bare feet as he grasped for the spatula. He tossed a burnt burger into the trash with a huff, scooping the others onto a tray. “Sorry.”

Luke shook his head, sitting down beside Calum, who was dipping his feet into the water to clean them off. “What’s your problem, mate? You’ve gotten so quiet lately. Especially when Y/N’s around.”

“Part of me is hoping I’ll be able to fight the urge to kiss her if I just stop talking to her. But, then she comes around and i cant stop talking to her. We get on so well,” Calum murmured, though Luke could hear.

“Yeah?” Luke urged him, feeling proud he could get Cal to say so much. He was a quiet person, a loud jokester in social situations, but so soft and enclosed about himself.

Calum shook his head, huffed, “I cant settle for somebody else. I know that sounds selfish and stupid, but she’s all I want. She’s all I’ve wanted since i met her. She’s so perfect and good and...she makes me feel good. I dont know. Its not impossible for her to like me back, but she’s so obsessed with the idea of someone being her type. Its like she’s afraid to just take a chance and love someone who she doesnt have figured out. She wants it all to be certain and specific and exactly the way she expects it to be.”

Luke sighed, creating small ripples with his feet in the pool, “Cal, Y/N is like a literal angel. She’s gentle and quiet and contained and confirmed. She’s perfect, like you said. But, Sierra knows her so well. She keeps herself like that because she’s been heartbroken before. So many times before. She’s scared, yes. But I think shed be willing to give you a chance if you just tell her...tell her exactly what it is.”

“What do you mean?” Calum already knew everything about Y/N. But, he didnt want Luke to think he was obsessive even though she knew everything about Cal, too.

Luke shrugged, both of their head’s turning to the patio door as it opened. “I dont know. But, you do. Just tell her.”

“How will I know if I’m saying the right things?”

“You just will.”

Sierra led you over to a lounge chair, sitting beside you as you slipped out of your sandals and tugged off your shirt. You were left in your bikini top and shorts, a combination that made Calum’s heart palpitate. He took the courage from Luke’s words and stood, walking over to you.

“Yeah, so if he ever wants to...” Sierra trailed off as Calum’s shadow fell over the two of you.

He gave you a shy smile as Sierra grinned and excused herself.

“Hey, Cal,” your lips lifted, eyes following him as he sat next to you. “How’ve ya been?”

“Good, you?” He was shy. He knew you could tell, too. His eyes kept switching between yours and his hands, your lips and...

“I’m okay. A little burnt out. Work has been busy because its summertime. High fashion and stuff, ya know?” You laughed, jabbing at a joke. Your eyes glinted when Calum tossed his head back and laughed.

“Yeah, I know, dont you see my high-end swim shorts?” He made a motion to show off his pants, and you admired him.

“Cute,” you replied. A beat of silence passed before your phone made a noise. You didnt touch it, knowing it was rude to do so, but your brows flicked up. “Oh! Have you matched with any other girls on Tinder? If you haven’t, I’m making it my mission to find you someone else.”

“How am I supposed to think about anyone else?” He blurted out suddenly.

You stopped smiling, blood freezing and your body turning stiffly. “What?”

“Uh,” Calum thought, wondering how he should go about this. “Theres a million little things I haven’t told you. I cant go on keeping them to myself. And pretending I want anyone else.”

You met his eyes and Calum felt the world melt away. Like a focused lens on a camera, he only saw you, your golden little halo. Your shocked expression.

“Cal,” you hesitated, “Aaron.”

“Is he the guy you want to hold you?” Calum whispered.

You visibly shivered, your heart beating out of your chest.

“It kills me thinking of you with him,” he paused, “you and i could have it good. I dont know him, but I know myself, and I know that I can love you so much better than he could.”

You shook your head, sweat pooling on your hands and the back of your neck. “No, Cal. Please. Dont make it hard.”

“It’s not hard unless you make it hard,” Calum spoke as soon as you began to stand.

“No, its not supposed to be hard. I want it to be easy for once,” you said.

Calum grabbed your hand, turning you back around, “It is. I know were so different, and I’m on the road all the time, and I’m fucked up because of people from my past. I know I smoke, and you help clean up cigarette butts in the park and I’m silent when I shouldn’t speak, but if you jump, Ill jump, too. C’mon, please?”

You finally met his eyes, feeling the rhythm of your heart steady. “I know its dramatic, but I’m just so afraid. So many guys have hurt me and made me feel ugly. I carry myself in a way that allows protection and routine. I hate the idea of some disturbance because disturbance has always meant hurt. Cal...i could love you. I think I’m very close to loving you, but i dont know if i can let myself.”

“I do love you, and I’m letting myself,” Calum stepped closer, tugging you to close the distance more. “Just let go.”

With silent permission, his hands slipped around your waist and your clutched his t-shirt. Your fists were tight, your lips stoic. Until you felt a lock pick inside your soul and you relaxed.

TAG LIST: @mantlereid @boxofteenageideas

, @dinosaursandsocks , @ashhdaniellee95 @zhangyixingxing1

[cottoncandyjester]

Your blog is an absolute delight to browse through <33333

I adore your OCs. They all have their individual quirks and seeing you write them is a treat.

If you are accepting requests, I was wondering if you could do some reverse comfort for your OCs? Where they're not having a good day and their s/o comforts them.

I love yandere content but I am still a sucker for that good wholesome stuff :).

I absolutely love this

Also Was unsure if I should add salem in this cause a lot of people sent hate about him since i Introduced him cause he's disgusting but i did add him cause I love him and he needs love and support

Story contains: some angst, talk of self harm, fluffy fluff, soft boys

Theodore

You've never seen theo angry ever since you two got together but today he seemed to be stressed out, he was studying for a test and from the sounds of it he was going crazy. You walked towards the room only to hear a loud crash which made you jump and you rushed in

Theo had thrown his glasses across the room now sitting in the chair with his head in his hands a shaky sigh escaping him.

"im never going to get it, damn it.."

You looked at the papers scattered about and it looked like some intense stuff, you walked towards theo and hugged him from behind.

"take a break.."

Theo chuckled lightly before he leaned back looking in your eyes, it was clear he hasn't slept in a while.

"you know i can't do that angel, you get to bed though it's late"

You moved onto theo's lap which he allowed, he shivered lightly at the stern look in your eyes since he never seen you look this serious. He tried to settle your worries by giving you soft kisses on your neck but it seems you weren't easy to sway.

"theodore, I want you to get into bed with me and sleep right now."

The male sighed and looked at the clock on the study desk seeing it was about 2am, he did want sleep but he was far too worried about not passing to even think about it.

"sweetie, I have to study. How will I be a good husband if I don't finish college?"

"who says you arent already a good husband?"

Your words shocked him and he stared at you with a confused look before you lovingly wrap your arms around his neck and planting a soft kiss onto his lips.

"you're perfect theo, you don't have to constantly prove it okay? Don't ever doubt that."

Theodore was silent after that and he buried his face in your neck with a low hum, he truly didn't deserve you.

"you think I'm perfect?"

"of course I do, I love you so come and get some rest"

Theo decided to give in and lay down with you and for some reason when he did all those worries drifted away.

Hikaru

Hikaru didnt have time feeling sad, he was a model not to mention a public figure. He never lets you see that side of him unless it's to lash out at you but he onky does that in anger. Today was different, he was quiet today which Definitely wasn't like him

"hey, [y/n]?"

You looked up from your phone to look at the male who just got out the shower his hair still damp and he only wore sweatpants

"what's wrong? Want me to dry your hair again? You should put on a shirt before you get sick"

Hikaru said nothing and simply walked towards you and hugged you close making you both fall back on the bed, the shocked you and you started to pat hikaru on the back trying to get him off.

"h-hey! Are you okay? Are you sick?! Hikaru?!"

"I'm..sorry I'm really sorry, [y/n] dont leave cause I'm really sorry"

He was making zero sense and it only concerned you more but you heard sniffling which made you now freaked out so you softly pulled him back seeing tears rolling down his face.

"hey, why are you crying? What's wrong hikaru?"

The male sat up now sittinf on his knees and he kept his head down letting his hair cover his face as he tried to stop crying.

"I know you dont really love me, I'm mean and cold and awful. You want to leave don't you? But- but I don't want you to go! Im sorry I don't know how to love you i just don't know!"

Hikaru sounded an absolute mess and you didn't know where this was coming from but he simply out the male close into a hug letting him nuzzle his face into your chest as you played with his slightly damp hair.

"yeah, you are mean and cold..but I love you. You can be so sweet and really fun to be with, hikaru Im not going to leave no matter what"

"r-really? No matter what?"

"of course! After all without you my sense of style would be a mess!"

You heard a muffled chuckle escaping him as he hugged you tightly now resting his head on your chest

"you're an idiot."

With a cocky grin you poked his cheek earning a hushed whine of discomfort from you which you found adorable

"but I'm your idiot, so you're stuck with me!"

Axis

Axis is the type where he will tell you when he's sad, he's a crybaby so he will absolutely let you know when he needs comfort. So when the male popped up while you were thinking about what to do for dinner you figured he was feeling down

"what's wrong ax?"

"artblock..I have to come up with a new piece but i have nothing"

You gave a small hum before stopping and turned around wrapping your arms around him.

"well, how about we go on a date tonight we can go out to eat and do a bunch of fun stuff.."

"like fireworks?!"

You sighed loudly at your boyfriend's obsession with fireworks and decided to please him and his wishes

"we can get sparklers and small stuff okay?"

Axis smiled brightly and kissed your cheek over and over.

"date night date night!"

He started chanting like a child and you couldn't help but laugh at his antics but you were glad he wasn't sad anymore.

Prince

Prince hides his insecurities very well with flirting and smooth words, he likes you to think that he's all okay. you noticed he was far more clumsy today with things, it went from simply dropping things to full on tripping and falling.

Prince winced as he tripped and fell ontop of you earning an annoyed huff from you as you glared up at him for of his weird behavior that he brushes aside like its nothing

"prince what the hell is going on? You're being weird today"

Prince looked down at you before letting out a loud groan before nuzzling his face into your neck feeling quite embarrassed

"I'm scared..of our future"

"why would that scare you?"

Prince picked his head up and had a slight pout before he glanced away being unsure of how to put his words together.

"you're my first real serious relationship..what if I screw up?"

"oh princey.."

Your soft cooing made him even more embarrassed and he groaned while laying his face in your chest.

"you're amazing and great and I'm just..me!"

You simply messed with his hair finding his remark to be pretty dumb but you excused it cause he looked far too cute when pouty.

"prince, I love you forever and ever you aren't going to screw it up"

After a few minutes of silence he popped up and hopped to his feet with newfound energy

"you're right! I mean I'm pretty great! I bet you wanna marry me cause I'm so handsome!"

Well he was definitely back to normal

Yuki

It honestly took you weeks to figure out yuki was upset cause he is the master of hiding his emotions. He never shows many emotions besides a smile when around you or a glare when around strangers.

of course he doesn't talk about his feelings at all either so you are blissfully unaware of how he feels, until he slipped up and finally broke.

You had come home from shopping when you noticed how quiet the house was which was normal but it had an eerie feeling to it.

"is he taking a nap? Hmm.."

You went to the room and opened the door to see yuki curled up in the bed, the light were off and he was pretty quiet so you assumed he was sleeping but as you started to get ready for a shower when a muffled sniffle made you turn back to yuki and you walked to him before softly moving the blankets only to get a slight sight of tears before he buried himself deeper into the pillow to hide.

"y-yuki?"

"go."

You sat on the bed now fully invested in helping him but you had a feeling you knew what was wrong, you softly rubbed his back seeing that he was sweaty and slightly shaking.

"you have a nightmare?"

There was silence before he nodded and you simply laid next to him facing his back and softly touching his back your gentle touch being enough to cheer him up.

When he turned to face you his eyes were puffy yet had bags under them, his hair was a mess and he was breathing harshly from fear.

"wanna talk about i-"

"no."

You gave a sigh and simply cuddled against him and closed your eyes, his body stiffened but quickly relaxed before he held you close and closed his eyes

"just rest then. I'm here now okay?"

"mhm.."

Yuki smiled as he buried his face in your hair taking in your scent and feeling his body settle against yours. He didn't need words of comfort or huge signs of affection this was all he needed..you being here helped him far more than any words can.

Salem

When salem breaks down it's heartbreaking and intense, he gets into these PTSD triggered panic attacks to the point where he just loses it.

You had left the house and left him alone, it was only for a few hours but when you came back the bedroom was trashed and salem was freaking out curled up in the corner.

"b-bad boy, very bad super bad..I've been so bad I'm so sorry sorry sorry sorry"

"salem!"

You rushed to him and sat on your knees infront of him seeing fresh bruises and marks on his face, he probably hurt himself again.

"salem, baby look at me"

"b-bad boy..bad boys deserve death"

He was definitely not listening and you totally needed to snap him out of it so you did the one thing you could think of...you slapped him.

It wasn't too hard but he definitely looked up at you in shock now focused on what you had to say.

"you're not in that dark place anymore salem, you're here with me and no one is dying okay?"

"b-but I'm a sinner, I'm disgusting, revolting, i-"

You cut him off by selling your lips against his roughly kissing him and settling him down.

When you pulled back you gave him a stern gaze not letting him spill anymore degrading words out.

"listen to me salem. I love you and all your weird quirks! I don't care what anyone else says you're my boyfriend and I love you more than anything okay?"

"y-your lips t-taste like sugar.."

With that he leaned forward trailing his tongue over your lips with a shaky laugh

"thank you, [y/n]"

[satellite-trash]

(kind of depressing) psychological analysis of jack atlas  --involving ramen.

So, if youve watched YGO 5Ds entirely (meaning the subbed version as the dub never finishes the ending season) you’d have picked up on Jack’s obsession with instant cup ramen, which would be fine for any character really but it seems out of character for the pompous, upper-class (wannabe), arrogant luxurious Jack Atlas aka THE KING. 

But actually it reveals a lot about him, and actually is really depressing...  There is a massive link between ramen and his lost childhood.

In season 1 we see NO sign of this obsession or even care for ramen. The  only thing he obsesses over to any degree is a) duelling Yusei to claim King b) saving Carly from the Dark Signers or arguably c) trying to figure out his own character as a king (after beaten by Yusei)

But, in Season 2 where he is (arguably...) “redeemed” from villain to teammate/rival, he gains a bit of comedic flare with his obsession with the cheap ramen cups. (and expensive posh coffee).  The coffee obsession suits him. But cheap instant ramen?

His obsession starts Episode 80, where Lazar/Yaeger steals Team 5Ds’ engine programme as well as a cup of ramen.  Jack’s reaction is... comedic?

He’s more pissed at the fact his ramen was taken than the whole important, irreplaceable engine programme theft. Comedic. But his irritation at losing ramen continues in episodes 114-5, where again lazar/yager steals some ramen he wouldve bought and his reaction is...

He is in total fear of just not having ramen.  In fact, he even hoards it - shown in episode 115 where he brings it out to give to lazar.

This is the episode that makes all this comedy turn dark and really depressing.

He reveals that the flavour of ramen reminds him of childhood at Martha’s, sharing it with Yusei, Crow, and the other orphans.   This means that his obsession is like a psychological association to childhood, like sensory association, like how many people can recognise and get nostalgic over smells and tastes without even knowing why.  Jack hoards and eats ramen defensively because he longs for childhood - whether its the relationship he had with friends or the carelessness of childhood, he misses it in comparison to adult life. I mean... who can blame him - theres a reason why so so so many conditions exist mentally that cause people to retract into childhood behaviours, like the whole AdultBaby lifestyle (wont get into it but the platonic side of it is a longing for childhood often lost) or where people continue hobbies such as certain toy collecting etc that they did as kids, OR that they longed to do as kids but just couldnt do for whatever reason/restriction.

he even wants recognition from Yusei for remembering that flavour/memory:

This is why he makes no mention of this in Season 1. Jack S1 was all about the present -no future nor past. He hated his past in Satellite w Yusei etc, openly wanting to ignore it, perhaps guilty for stealing Yusei’s card etc or overall hating that limited and depressive situation.  (I have a headcanon Jack genuinely fell into a depression in Satellite and just acted to get out, but thats too deep for this current time lmao)

Because he didnt want ANY reminder of his past (hence hatred of Yusei, Crow, Kalin, and the entirety of Satellite, or “Satellite scum/trash” as he calls them in the dub), he doesnt want ramen. 

But, S2, he is reformed and has his old friends back, and even martha has accepted him back. So, he realises the error of his ways, and reclines into his lost and mentally more stable childhood. Through ramen. 

His childhood wasnt happier - satellite was at its worst, they were struggling, he had no freedom, in comparison to the S2 situation where he achieved duelling fame, has friends back, and satellite and Neo Domino are united (kinda)

BUT maybe he wants to go back and correct things? Or live a guilt-less and resent-less life again, not having done any wrong? I mean this is impossible to say, but clearly his ramen obsession, now being linked w childhood, means a longing to go back for some reason.

It’s clear he shows regret or sadness over childhood/lost childhood: the only time he cries in the show with tears are over memories from childhood with ramen; 

His face is streaming with tears because of Lazar’s story about ramen and childhood which he related to. He is SO intensely emotional over ramen that it does come of as comedic, which is really strange for the rival character as serious/uptight as jack. I mean, could you imagine Kaiba ever acting like this over, idk, cereal? maybe one time he shared a bowl of cornflakes with mokuba and now he cries every morning eating his cereal because of those memories. idk.

this is 115 when Sherry cuts the pile of ramen boxes out of impatience, Jack is IN HORROR of his prized collection being attacked like this. its like she’s cutting up his childhood memories or something. I mean, it basically is, apparently. 

... 

His comment to Crow summarises all this, 114. He has just screamed at Lazar for stealing “his” ramen (it was the old lady’s but ok jack) Crow asks him to calm down

its right, he cant, no one can. Its something in his mind relating to his childhood, losing ramen or even being in a situation where his ramen might not be “his” safely, unsettles Jack. Ramen represents his childhood in some regard, and the anxiety of losing it causes him to become incredibly defensive and on edge.

-

im sorry for this random and kinda deep/depressing take on Jack. I know we should be thinking positive rn in the current global pandemic, but i just needed to get this analysis thing out there (more a rant actually) because it really struck me when S2 made jack have a weird “comedic” element about him, in his reformed state. It’s not so much comedic, but deep and suiting his character. His obsession over ramen is not just a gag to make him more like a good-guy now he is teammates with Crow and Yusei etc, but it develops his character and gives him reformation in a completely different sense -- it doesnt force his goodness out by just making him into a comedy-relief, but rather gives him emotional backing for his mistakes and wrongdoing in the previous season, and actusally makes it kind of depressing how he arrogantly tried to forget and destroy his past in Satellite with his friends. 

gimme any thoughts you have on this, if you made it this far through the rant (i applaud and love you if you did!!)

i thought of all this because in the current global situation, most people are limited inside and getting depressing, sometimes its better to mentally retract and go back to better times when this whole thing wasnt going on, and for Jack that was childhood.  Sorry for philosophical rant lol, at 1am in the morning for my part of the world~

 here is funny pic to say sorry and lighten the mood~

(that chef has seen some dark things in his life... )

[ambersky0319]

Dumb idea from a tired Rayne: Logan, who doesn't want to date Roman, keeps telling him "___ and then maybe I'll date you" so later you have Roman looking practically like a fucking clown as he tries to recite Shakespeare in full garbwhile also trying to speak in a perfect accents with the mind palace looking like a galaxy, only for Roman to find out after while he was practicing his brother and Deceit asked Logan out and he said yes, and he tried to tell Roman but he refused to listen.

This doesn’t have a happy ending, but it’s also not a bad ending?

Ships : One-sided Logince, Platonic Logince, Romantic Intruloceit

Warnings : Leading people on, miscommunication, let me know if there's anything else that I should add!

Masterpost 

----------------------------------------

It wasn't that Logan didn't like Roman. He did, in complete honesty, Logan loved spending time with Roman, he loved being Roman's friend. But that's where it ended.

Being Roman's friend.

So when Roman confessed that he had feelings for Logan, he didn't know what to do. How do you reject someone, and then say it's because he just got into a relationship with said someone's brother and his partner?

But that's the thing. Logan tried to say that. But every time he got near the answer 'no' Roman would fall into another round of rambling that lasted anywhere between five to twenty minutes. It got to the point that Logan just... Gave up on trying to outright reject him.

Instead, he started giving Roman impossible tasks to do.

He didn't expect it to backfire so terribly on him though.

Logan sighed loudly as he collapsed onto the couch within the dark commons, right by Deceit who set his book down to console his annoyed boyfriend. Remus was nowhere to be found, probably in the Imagination. Logan just wished he could cuddle them both right now, that would surely cheer him up.

Deceit gently pulled him into his arms, pressing soft kisses to his temple as he started to massage Logan, slowly drawing circles on his back. Logan made a soft, strangled noise as he curled closer to Deceit.

"What's happened now?" Deceit hummed. He and Remus knew of Logan's predicament, and both knowing how well Roman took rejection, weren't able to give Logan any ideas on how to tell Roman that he wasn't interested, not without letting their own relationship slip.

"He- He actually learned Latin and performed not five, but ten original poems! And! He actually changed his sash to that awful gray that he hates!" Logan let his head fall into Deceit's neck, huffing and shaking his head.

"I told him that he needs to perform an entire Shakespeare play all by himself looking like Pennywise using time-accurate accents and in garb and that the entire mind palace must look like a galaxy."

Deceit began threading his fingers through Logan's hair. "What are you going to do if he actually succeeds in this one?"

"Honestly?" Deceit hummed in confirmation. "I have no fucking clue."

Silence filled the dark commons for a long while. Logan was far less tense now but refused to move out of Deceit's lap. Not that Deceit minded. But then Deceit broke the comforting quiet.

"Remus and I were talking earlier, about maybe to put a stop to this we just... All come out."

Logan shifted only slightly, frowning against Deceit's neck. "I thought that's what we were trying to avoid?"

"Well, we've been dating for what, four months now? And Roman has been doing this for about three. No matter how the others react, we'll stay together, and Roman can work on moving on and accepting that you aren't interested." Deceit continued to run his fingers through Logan's hair, no knots remained but he knew it was helping Logan relax. "We're ready to come out. If you aren't though, that's fine, and Remus and I can always help you come up with something-"

Before Deceit could finish, there was a crash as the Imagination door slammed open, and Remus came stumbling down the stairs cursing up a storm.

"Remus?" Logan asked hesitantly when Remus started to tug at his hair and pace. Remus barely glanced at them.

"I fucked up, guys I fucked up royally- Roman's pissed, he's so incredibly pissed oh my god, guys-"

"Hey, hey, Remus," Logan shifted out of Deceit's arms a bit for the first time in quite a while. "Come sit down, and maybe explain what happened?"

Remus did, settling down on Deceit's other side and welcoming the embrace from both Logan and Deceit. He then went on to explain how Roman had unconsciously wandered into Remus's part of the Imagination, where Remus had been talking with Hope about Deceit and Logan, getting suggestions from Hope on how to handle the situation if Logan didn't want to tell anyone yet. He described how Roman now knew that they were all together, and how he looked so incredibly heartbroken but also so pissed, and Remus wasn't able to tell if it was at Remus and Deceit, or Logan.

Once he was done, Logan groaned loudly, head falling back to hide in Deceit's shoulder. He said something, but it was muffled by Deceit's shirt. Remus clung to Logan, burrowing his face in Logan's hair. "Maybe we can just give Roman amnesia, y'know, and no one will know!"

"I don't think giving your brother a concussion is a good idea, Remus."

"At least it's an idea!"

Logan shook his head, taking a deep breath. "No, I'm going to have to talk with him. But... but I think I'll talk to Roman tomorrow. Hopefully he'll be willing to listen, I doubt he will be right now."

"You sure, Lo?"

Logan nodded, moving so he could press a light kiss to Remus's cheek. "I just really want to spend time with you both. And maybe this'll be safer."

"Alright..."

-

The next morning, Logan rose up in front of Roman's room. It was too early for Patton or Virgil to be awake, but Roman often got up around the same time as Logan. He knocked lightly on the door, and it took a minute and Logan was just about to knock again when he heard a lock click and the door slowly opened. Logan bit his lip as he felt his heart figuratively break at the sight before him, Roman with irritated eyes and hair so tangled one brush would never be able to help tame it. He looked so pale, too, and he wobbled slightly in place as he processed just who was at his door.

When it finally caught up to him that it was Logan, Roman attempted to shut the door. But Logan stuck his foot out to stop it. "We really need to talk-"

"I don't want to see you, Logan."

"Please, Roman?"

". . ."

"I just want to explain things. You don't need to actually respond, but you need to hear me out. And then, if you no longer want to be friends, then I'll just leave you alone from now on. I won't even take long, I just need five minutes."

Roman hesitated, before sighing in defeat and he sulked back into his room, letting Logan enter. He sat on the bed and just stared at Logan. "Five minutes. Go."

Logan took a deep breath. "First, I wanted to apologize. It was wrong of me to lead you on like I did, getting your hopes up that I might reciprocate your feelings when in fact I wasn't only not interested, but was seeing other sides.

"Next, the only reason why I kept doing that is because any time I tried to tell you no, or that I wasn't interested, you would cut me off, or refuse to listen. I tried each and every time to get you to listen and I failed, so I gave you more and more ridiculous tasks thinking you would eventually give up. And then you didn't. And I just had no idea what to do, because I still wanted to be frends, I love being friends with you, but I don't like you how you like me and I just- I'm um, I'm just really sorry, Roman."

Logan held his breath as he watched Roman for any reaction, holding Roman's gaze. Roman took in a shuddering breath, before glancing to the side, frown tugging at his lips.

"And you were with my brother and Deceit the entire time...?"

"... Yes."

Roman closed his eyes for a moment, processing everything that Logan had said. When it seemed that he finally did, he exhaled slowly, still not looking at Logan.

"I'm still mad, Logan, I'm still hurt. But... But I don't want to not have you in my life. I still want you around. It wouldn't be the same with you gone- and I- fuck, Logan, I'm sorry for not listening... I should have, this all could've been avoided." Roman held his head in his hands. "Just... can, can we come back to this in a few days?"

Logan nodded hastily. Roman glanced at him for a moment before looking back down at the floor. "I'll see you later, Logan."

Logan hugged himself as he left Roman's room, summoning a water bottle for him before he left. God, this wasn't how he wanted things to turn out...

----------------------------------------

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[blkgirlcafe]

Home PT. 8

iktor Drago x Cyra (Black OFC)

Cyra (Ky-Ra) -Sun or throne

Kazimir (Kah-Zee-Meer) - Bringer or Announcer of peace

Viktor Drago is married to the love of his life, they have a 5 year old son. He is willing to do anything to keep them safe.

Warning: Kidnapping, abuse, mentions of child abuse

Flashback #8

Viktor couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong. As usual he meet her at the gym when she was finished. She had been quiet, normally she had a story to tell him about her day. 

Now they were eating dinner together and she hadn’t tried to steal food off his his plate. 

“Vik…” she stopped looking at him before looking away. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“I leave in two months, I go back home.” 

Everything stopped for Viktor. He knew this day was coming but still was not prepared at all. 2 months, he would no longer have his girlfriend here to hold. Surely when she got back to America she would forgot all about him. 

“Viktor did you hear me?” She had set her fork down. 

“No, I’m sorry.” 

“I said, I don’t want to leave you, I love you.”

Cyra has never been shy, but telling a man that she loved him made her feel bashful. 

“I love you too Cyra, how can we make this work?” 

“Come with me?” She perked up, “I already got offered a job.”

“That would mean I would have to leave…”

“Ivan.” She said a scowl on her face, she never cared for the man. 

“And my home, this is the only place I have ever know.” 

Vik bounced around the ring, he was throwing light punches, not ready to down his opponent, they wanted a fight, he would give them a fight. He could already tell that his opponent was tired, his opponent threw sloppy shots that left him open. The bell dinged signaling the end of round 4, Viktor sat in his corner, looking around the ring into the crowd, he wanted to see his wife face. 

“Damm you are doing good, two more rounds then lay him out.” his trainer said. 

Viktor just nodded, spitting in the bucket before drinking some water. 

“Is she coming?” his trainer asked. 

“I hope so.” was all he said before shoving the mouth guard back into his mouth. The bell dinged and Viktor stood, this time he took his frustration out on his opponent, hit after hit to his middle, making him double over before Viktor hit him with a uppercut, his opponent went down, hitting the mat hard, blood spraying from his mouth. 

____

“Cyra are you sure?” 

This was Trey's third time asking her so she ignored him. Yes she was sure, she didn’t need medical care, neither did Kazi, they both just wanted to see Viktor. 

“Fine.” Trey gave up. 

The traffic around the arena was hell. Trey double parked in a spot meant for law enforcement, Cyra jumped out before he even turned the car off. She grabbed Kazi and walked towards the entrance. 

She was stopped at the door, someone asking for tickets. She never had tickets, she tried to tell the guy but he stood firm. Until Trey caught up with her, he flashed a badge and they were let in. 

“Hold him.” Cyra handed Kazi over to his uncle. 

The arena was packed, seats filled to capacity with spectators. Cyra learned from Viktor that people loved violence, they liked seeing two men fight almost to death for their entertainment. 

Trey walked in front of her, moving people out the way easily. They made to the section right behind the announcer table, Cyra leaned against the barrier on her tippy toes. 

She didn’t say anything, just looked at her husband. Kazi started whining, he never been to a fight, it was too much for a child. When Kazi spotted his father he shouted out his name, causing Viktor to turn. 

The slip cost him a punch that landed squarely on his jaw, making him stumble into the ropes. He leaned against the ropes, looking at them. Cyra smiled at him, tears in her eyes. 

He pushed himself off the ropes, more energy in his step than before. He was going to finish this and now. 

——

Flashback #9

“It’s our last night together.” Cyra was cuddled in Viktor arms. 

“I got you a present.” He said quietly. 

He gently moved behind her, reaching for something in his gym bag. 

“Close your eyes please.” 

Cyra did as he asked, eyes closed firmly. 

“I never really gave you an answer on if I would go with you or not. I thought it over and yes I would love to go with you.” 

Cyra eyes popped open in shock, she turned to face him, “what did you say?”

“Your eyes are supposed to be closed.” 

“Forget the gift Vik, what did you say?”

He grinned at her, she would never get enough of this smile. 

“I said I want to go with you, my gift to you is my passport and my plane ticket.”

Out of an Manila envelope he pulled out his brand new passport and an online ticket for a flight to Atlanta, the same flight she was on. 

“Vik…”

“Yes?”

“Are you serious? Like this isn’t a joke.”

“I wouldn’t joke like this Cyra. I love you and I would miss you a lot, plus it’s time for me to go, I need to leave the nest.”

“Oh my god Ivan will kill me.” 

Viktor eyes turned dark in front of her, his eyes were so expressive. You could read them like a picture book. 

“I wouldn’t let any harm come to you.”

“I ment it like a figure of speech. But surly he is upset?”

“Yes, very much so. But it isn’t his choice, it’s mine. I can’t live my life for him and his goals.”

Cyra flung herself at him, looping her arms around his neck, pulling him down for a kiss. 

He threw the papers down and gently laid her down on the bed. Cyra legs wrapped around his torso, bringing him closer. 

Viktor was a passionate lover, his rough hands trailed under her shirt. Cyra gave a little whine when he detached from her lips, but quickly changed to a whimper when he kissed her neck. Viktor pulled her shirt off, throwing it to the side. 

-----

Viktor was done playing, he quickly hit his opponent with a 3 punch combo, two to the ribs and as he bent over a left hook that laid him out. 

He referee did his count, at the count of 10 the ref stood declaring Viktor the winner. The referee tried to do the traditional hold the boxer arms up thing, but Vikor quickly snatched away from his, running out the ring to get to his wife and child. 

Cyra ran into his arms, Viktor held her so close, hugging her tighter than he ment to. 

“Babe…” she squeaked out.

“Sorry, what are you doing here? You and Kazi should be getting check out.”

“We are fine, baby we are fine, not hurt at all.” 

They walked over to the barrier so she could grab Kazi, Viktor took him as soon as he crossed. Kazi never seen Viktor like this, he wasnt allowed to watch the fight, never come to the arena, and by the time Viktor got home he was already cleaned up, taped up, bruises covered. 

“Tata!!!!!” Somehow Kazi voice rose over all the cheers, boos, and talking of the crowd. 

Trey hopped the barrier, being the voice of reason, herding the family to the back, past all the eyes, the reporters, and other spectators. 

Behind closed door they broke down, until now Kazi hadn't seen her cry, but she could help it. The tears just flowed even thought she was smiling. Viktor had his nose in Kazi hair, pecking his forehead with kisses. 

“God I missed you two so much.”

“I wanna get down Tata.”

Kazi wiggled his way down, already more interested in the locker room more than his parents. Cyra hugged her husband once again, needing to feel his mass, even if he was sweaty. They stood there quiet and in an embrace, just happy to be reunited. 

There was a knock on the door and Trey got it, it was Viktor manger and trainer. She pulled away from his arms. 

“Congrats on the win baby, I am so proud of you.”

Viktor didnt let her move out of her arms, Kazi came over to hug his dad legs. 

“Let me get those gloves off Champ.” his trainer said. 

Viktor reluctantly let her go, and sat in one of the chairs, letting his trainer take off his gloves and the tape underneath it. 

“I cant wait to get home Vik, our home.”

“I know babe, me either.”

Cyra waited patiently while Viktor did his after fight routine, taking his gloves off, getting checked by a doctor, his eye was starting to swell and his ribs looked bruised. 

He declined to do his post fight interview rescheduling for two days later, he skipped his shower, getting dressed quickly. Viktor picked Kazi up, wincing at the pain he was in. As a family they left to go home.

Later that night…

Cyra couldn't sleep, she kept checking on Kazi just to make sure he was there, after her third trip she slid back into bed quietly, not wanting to wake Viktor.

“You dont have to keep checking on him, you guys are safe.” he said quietly. 

“I know, its just that I keep thinking this is all a dream.”

“Come here.” 

Cyra snuggled into his side, Viktor wrapped her arm around her, not caring about his own discomfort, to be close to her. 

“You know Ivan did this all, he was sill mad I left, left him, left my home.”

“You didnt leave home, you left him and built your own family and home. You have a happiness that he will never know.”

A tear rolled down Viktor cheek, “He could have hurt you two, I will never forgive him.”

“You dont have to we both know he is trash babe.”

“I love you so much Cyra, thank you for coming into my life, loving me, and having my son.”

“I love you to Vik, we are in this together until the end.”

Flashback #9

Viktor was overwhelmed, Cyra tried to prepare him for a new city, but he didnt expect this. they had landed at the busiest airport in America, Hartsfield Airport. 

The walk from the plane to the baggage claim took them underground into a train to be transported to the other side of the airport. Viktor tried not to take up to much pace, but he couldn't help it. At the curb they waited for Cyra brother, another thing for him to be nervous about.  

When a tall guy walked their way, he could tell it was Trey by the way she jumped to hug him. Introduction were made and Viktor helped load the bags, not saying much. 

He opened the door for her, catching Trey staring him down. 

“Ayy bruh you good, you being real quiet.” they pulled of into traffic. 

“Stop Trey, he isn't much of a talker.”

Heat flushed his cheeks, “I am fine, just soaking in the new scenery.”

Trey proceeded to put him through 21 questions and Viktor answered them in honesty. Every now and then, Cyra jumped in telling him he didnt have to answer anything. 

They stopped in front of a apartment building, Cyra seemed to be confused as to why. 

“Whats going on Trey.”

“Aight so check it, I did something for you and I hope you like it. Like I know you already got a job lined up but I didnt want you stressing about anything, so I found you a apartment and paid it up for 6 months.”

“Wait, are you serious?”

“Yeah, come on.” Cyra got out the car so fast, Vikor didnt have the time to open it for her. He followed behind the siblings, as they chatted. The apartment was on the first floor and Trey let them in, stepping back so Cyra could inspect it. 

Cyra grabbed Vikor hand, pulling him around the apartment, even small it was bigger than where him and Ivan home, old home he thought to himself. 

“Babe this is perfect.”

He nodded in agreement, he didnt care where he slept as long as Cyra was by his side. 

“This is our home now.”

“Yes, Home.” Viktor said. 

Kazi splashed in the tub, getting water everywhere, Cyra let him, not caring he was making a mess. 

Cyra had the news on in the background but wasnt paying attention to it at all. 

Broadcaster: Ivan Drago, the famous boxer and father of Viktor Drago was arrested approximate 72 hours ago, He had been indicated on charges of kidnapping, child endangerment, assault to just name a few. Ivan Drago along with 4 other people have not entered any plea agreement at this point. Reached out to Vikor Drago for a statement and was turned down by his management.

The End

[yuzuka-rei]

my last hours: chain of gold review

its practically tradition for me, every time i finish a cassie claire book, i whip open my long abandoned tumblr and yell about characters. 

discussion is always welcome but if you’re like SUPER into this book don’t read this you’ll just get mad. also claire dont read this. 

my biggest problem with this book is that it doesn’t take enough risks, it sticks to a known successful formula (the infernal devices remains the best shadowhunters series) and what results is a book that is nostalgic, not bad, but not breaking any new ground. 

i’ll talk about what i liked first. i loved some of the storylines claire brought up in this book, BUT SHE BARELY EXPANDED ON ANY OF THEM.

you know what would’ve felt fresh and painful? charles fairchild. i want to read about Charles Fairchild, and his ambition, i want to read about his love for Alastair and how all he wishes is for his lover to just understand how much he *wants* to be consul. i want to read about his conflicted affection for Ariadne. i want to sympathise with HIM, because that would be so interesting, similar to what we had with jessamine, but with a man this time. we don’t have to like him, he just has to be interesting. 

what i’d also have loved would be more about lucie’s insecurity about being “the second herondale”. tbh, it would’ve been really interesting for her to have turned to the dark but this is a shadowhunters book the moral conflict always comes with the relationships, not the fantasy plot. but anyways what is the DEAL with “the beautiful cordelia” that is the fucking gayest thing i have ever laid eyes on in my entire life. also thats all lucie and cordelia’s relationship is based on, just the fact that lucie writes to cordelia, and it makes it feel so cheap because all cordelia does is think about james. lucie reminds me of dru, the forgotten younger sister, but because dru was not expanded on in tda i think it would’ve been fresh to read about lucie and her insecurity

also: matthew fairchild. right now he feels super repetitive, basically just will herondale again but this time he also fucks boys!! what a CHANGE. will shouldve been able to see his younger self in matthew and help him, so this makes minimal sense. even if we *have* to have this super repetitive plot element, i want to read about matthew and how he is different drunk and sober. i want to see him literally fail his friends and risk their lives, multiple times, because he is too drunk to do shit. i want to see him sober, suddenly so uncharming and pitiful. also i fucking want to see hints that he’s in love with cordelia. yes there are “hints”, but this “love” feels really cheap as well. basically so many of the relationships in cog feel super cheap because you’re supposed to believe that matthew falls in love with cordelia because of like three interactions. (although a parallel to this would be cristina and mark, who also didn’t have that much interaction before they fell in love, but mark was so broken and cristina is literally the sweetest, that made more sense. matthew and cordelia?? kinda a cheap play esp considering how will and jem were also parabatai) 

WRITE MORE ABOUT ALASTAIR. matthew seems way too put together and a “tragic romantic figure” in this book to make us Really see alastair as someone who should be hated. i want to HATE alastair but at the same time feel so much pity and pride for him. i know claire tried to make us dislike him but didnt work lol

oh i also loved the merry thieves i LOVE their friendship please give me more of that sweet sweet friendship juice. now this sort of marauders (im sorry im such a big marauders fan) brotherhood is something i haven’t seen from claire before and id love to read more about it

NOW I SCREAM ABOUT WHAT I DISLIKED

1, james fucking herondale. he is the most blandly and poorly written “male lead” in a claire book i’ve read for a long time. i’m all for reading about very stupid boys who are stupid about girls but the whole wild shift between grace and cordelia makes him seem like trash even with the bracelet influence. i disliked julian (i literally forgot his name and had to search it up), but julian’s fierce devotion to his family was interesting and grounded him. james is just ?? i guess he has the ability to go to the shadow realm?? like ngl i know nothing about his character and tbh i dont want to know more. 

2, cordelia. carstairs. who is basically if you scrambled clary and emma together and added a pinch of cristina. she’s not a BAD character, and since we’re supposed to see her as the “self insert” (i assume), her being a bit bland was probably intended. but this IS like... the fourth shadowhunter series. can we get a female character who is the hot troubled one instead?? i want HER to be the one with the tragic terrible secret, i want her to lash out and go drinking and push everyone away. cordelia in this book exists to love and protect james, and that makes her... even more boring than clary, who you know at least had her own strong agenda instead of this “oh i have to save my father wait hes a drunk” arc

3, matthew fairchild is basically just will herondale if he were less in love with his parabatai and more gay coded (oscar wilde?? waistcoats?? really???) . i wish he were written as a proper casanova, seen dating a different girl or boy every scene because then it would Hurt to see cordelia dismiss his feelings because of his behaviour. tbh i just,,, like matthew fairchild but hes so similar to will it hurts that his potential is being squandered.

4, this book just feels like tid but the side characters are like the tda ones. 

5, anna lightwood is basically magnus bane and i hate it but i love it

6, tbh most of the romances weren’t heart wrenching. cordelia having to marry james as an alibi was the only cool thing out of this book and even that was a bit odd. alastair being charles’ secret lover was Pretty out of the blue and that hurt but he literally left the relationship after one scene?? thats not realistic?? i want alastair to fall back into old habits, then try to leave again, then fall back again, then leave for Good. all of these romances are so whirlwild and mean so little, and they probably seem really cool to a 14 year old child but now they just feel... childish and stupid. TDA may have spoilt me for well built relationships, as much as i dislike emma and julian, their romance made SENSE. kit and ty? had feelings development. kieran and mark had their whole “we had to love each other to survive but now we don’t have to now what” struggle that was well laid out anyways. 

BASICALLY, THE CHARACTERS IN THIS BOOK WERE WRITTEN TO BE IMMATURE, SHELTERED 17 YEAR OLDS AND IT’S UNSURPRISINGLY BORING TO READ 

also: if jesse blackthorn, a dear character in our hearts, showed love towards his mother, she would feel more three dimensional but alas sakjfh

[bbrandy2002]

The Fall of Cordonia

Chapter Seven (Final)

A/N: Sorry it has taken so long to get this one chapter finished. I have had several things in my personal life that have been quite stressful, I can't even begin to explain what I've been dealing with and I won't bore you with details. I do want to thank @kingliam2019 for asking about this fic several times, it gave me the little boost I needed and for pre-reading chapters for me. Also @burnsoslow for pre-reading snippets and giving me advice. And @sirbeepsalot who has advised me throughout and is just truly a wonderful person.

C/N: I was told I shouldn't end it this way and didnt plan to, however I had a change of heart. I hope its not too disappointing.

Warnings: DARK!! Gun violence, murder, mental illness, major character deaths, suicide, its brutal....but...its not (you will see what I mean).

Word count: 2909

---------

"Hello Son, I've been expecting you."

Liam and Drake stopped dead in their tracks, slack-jawed as the woman who stood before them became clearer. The once image of virtuous beauty and kindness, now an aged souless boor. Her blonde hair now silver, and her flawless ivory skin had heavily creased and worn.

Her voice cut Liam like a knife as it was a sound he had not heard in twenty five years. There was no love or nurturing in her flat blue eyes, just a haggard woman caught up in her own destructive nature.

Liam fought the temptation and overwhelming urge to run for Eleanor. He needed to feel her long awaited gentle arms wrapped around him again -- to soothe his hurts and wipe away his tears. Like any child would covet from his mother, he wanted her to want to do those things. It soon became clear she was neither interested in entertaining his boyish fantasy nor rekindling their bond.

Cradled in her arms was Liam's infant son-- his own flesh-- and a child he was prepared to give life and limb for if need be.

He stepped forward to approach them. As both of his arms reached out in desperation for Nikolas, Eleanor pointed her gun at him.

Liam fell to his knees in surrender, weakened by the sight of a weapon aimed at his only child. He begged earnestly for her not to hurt his son.

Drake cocked his gun and was ready to enact his own vengance if she hurt the baby.

"You always were soft, my boy," she said wryly as she lowered the gun to her side and shifted a crying Nikolas in her arms.

Liam gave her a pleading look with an arm outstretched towards her. "Mother, I'll do anything if you give him to me. I"m begging you...just give him to me please."

Eleanor rolled her eyes and huffed with annoyance. "Stop your groveling Liam, you sound like your father -- may he roast in flames for eternity." She signed the cross from her forehead to her chest and both shoulders with a dry smile, still clutching onto her pistol.

He eased to his feet cautiously, his mind wracked with confusing thoughts of who he was now dealing with. "Okay." He nodded. "What do you want?"

Eleanor crossed the small sitting room and laid Nikolas in a bassinet. She then placed a pacifier in his mouth to sooth him. She stood, hovering over the baby before flashing an icy glare back to Liam. "I want what I set out for thirty three years ago -- Cordonia."

Like a tidal wave mounting in intensity and wrath, Liam's emotions began to build in ferosity. "You fucking had Cordonia, Eleanor!" He snapped angrily, pounding his fisted hand on the table before tossing a lamp off of it.

"Did you forget that? You were the queen, goddamn you! You had everything a person could ever dream of!" He trailed off and shook his head into the palms of his hands. With his breaths labored, he looked back up with tears in his eyes, "Was any of it real?"

Eleanor ran her tongue over the front of her teeth and stepped away from the bassinet to approach Liam. She stopped just short him and looked up at her towering son, her hands clasped together at her stomach. "I was never supposed to fall in love with your father, you were never supposed to be anything more than a spare to tie me to that kingdom. I had a part to play ... and I do believe, my boy..." She patted Liam's cheek with a cold smirk. "I played it magnificently."

Liam looked down at the petite figure standing before him, a shell of the woman he once knew -- or thought he did at least.

She had the pistol still glistening in her ragged, cold fingers, aimed straight at his heart. Eleanor could pull the trigger right then and nothing would make him feel any worse than the words she just spoke.

Liam swallowed the bile that burned his throat, his eyes dancing upwards, shocked by her admission. His whole entire childhood was a lie and that was a bitter pill to swallow. "I see," he muttered softly with a nod.

"Oh Liam, don't look so glum, it was just politics. I planted all the right people in your brothers life to ensure he would turn into the low life piece of shit he became. I needed to make sure MY heir would sit on the throne. All you had to do was accept the alliance offered to you. You, your sister and I could have conquered the world."

"You are one sick, twisted bitch," Drake spoke coldly through the tension.

She smiled back at him amused. "Why, thank you, Drake...I could say the same of your precious little momma."

"Leave my mother out of this," he growled defensively, playing her words off.

A look of pure delight beckoned Eleanor whose eyes began to glisten as she cast her focus on Drake, "Oh, I could never leave Bianca out of this, she was quite helpful to me at one point. Its amazing the lengths one would go to when blackmailed.", she laughs with a cackle, "Your father never saw it coming from her". She feigns shock before acting like she was shot in the chest.

"Drake, she's a liar, don't listen to her". Liam tried to reason with him before Eleanor got completely under his skin. He didn't know if what she was saying was true, but, he knew he had to plant a seed of doubt before she could plant the seed of revenge.

Drake could only stare at her with teeth clenched and eyes squinted, "What does she mean Liam...what the fuck is she talking about?"

"Bianca was a whore.....", Eleanor continued, with a slight grin.

"Shut up Eleanor", Liam interrupted her.

"......she fucked everyone at court..."

"Shut up!!", Liam raised his voice over hers.

"....I caught her on her knees with Constantine..."

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!!", Liam continued.

"She killed your daddy for me Drake, she thought she could be one of us....such a dumbass, that common trash bitch. She was an easy quick lay according to the men at court. Your daddy stuck around for you and your sister, unlike Bianca, who left after her worn out pussy couldn't pay the bills any longer. That was your momma....that is your momma", she emphasized.

The gun shook in Drake's hand as his finger coiled the trigger backwards. His fathers death and his mothers absence growing up was always a sore spot for him. He could feel his blood boil and an intense heat burn though his body.

Liam shook his head at Drake with an empathetic look, attempting to halt any impulsive reactions. One wrong move from either one of them could be deadly and he couldn't take a chance on Nikolas's life.

"Go ahead Drake", Eleanor continued her taunts, "pull the trigger...like mother, like son...avenge your fathers death and your sisters too...I hear she died nice and slow, exactly as Bianca sucked dick".

"Drake, NO!"

The blast of a gun was inevitable.

--------------------------------

Riley was sitting up on her bed with a blank stare, her back resting against a pillow propped up on the headboard. Bertrand was seated in a bergere across the room, holding a sleeping Bartie.

Liam had texted him earlier about checking on Riley, citing her psychiatrist was a part of Amalas' cronies. When Bertrand arrived to her quarters, it was eerily quiet, passing only a nurse exiting with a full tray of food, Riley hadn't eaten.

As her eyes remained fixed forward, not having moved in the hour he had been there, he felt her gaze shift onto him. Bertrand looked up from Bartie and watched his Queen shed one lonely tear. The look of nothingness, sent a chill down his spine; what was she thinking, did she even have thoughts? What could cause such distress that it would break her daze enough to spare a tear.

Bertrand sat up with the resting Bartie cradled in his arms and laid him in the chair, gently swiping loose hairs to the side of his head. He walked slowly towards Riley, pausing briefly, dumbfounded that her eyes continued to follow him. "Riley?", his voice low and tepid.

He inched closer until he was standing at her bedside, easing himself down to sit next to her on the bed.

Her lush, brown hair now dull and lifeless, clung to her face and pillow; golden skin now ashen and pale. Bertrand thought of her as a sister and it pained him greatly to see such a beacon of personality and life, lay waste. He gazed at his reflection in her eyes intently, searching for a pathway into her mind. "Riley, its Bertrand, talk to me", he whispered, inching closer.

Bartie began to moan and whimper in his sleep and caught everyone's attention. Bertrand's reflection immediately disappeared from Riley's, now covered by a sinister glare. She gritted her teeth and gripped tightly to the sheets covering her frail frame.

Bertrand turned away from her to look at his son who had resumed his peaceful slumber.

"BRADSHAW!!!", Riley screamed so loudly it would curdle rushing blood, swinging a large, golden, candle holder brutally until it met resistance from the scalp of Bertrand. He slid limply from the bed, crashing to the cold, marbled floor below.

Riley watched the blood drip from the candle holder onto her perfectly white sheets, trembling at the realization of what she had just done. Her eyes rolled back as she tossed the weapon across the room, grabbing both sides of her head, rocking back and forth in a state of delirium. Chaos and noise ripping into her weakened mind, driving her further into insanity.

Her anxiety level peak, sweat pouring from her forehead, she now covered her ears to block the sounds that only she could hear.

"Liam is dead, Riley....he.is.dead", Bradshaw spoke with a sardonic laugh.

"No....no....Liam....don't leave me", she spoke through labored breaths and sobs, her dainty nails clawing at her face, leaving deep, jagged marks. She gasped deeply in anguish and pain, and muttered, "Liam....not my Liam".

__________________________

Drake flung backwards, his feet tangled in knots of imbalance, tripping over themselves from the momentum of the blast. He had a soul crushing wound, the one meant for Liam, straight to his heart. He rested after a hardened thud against the wall and slammed face down to the floor.

"Drake!"

Liam lunged forward, grabbing the still, hot barrell of Eleanor's pistol, her finger still tightly woven around its trigger.

Nikolas's startled cries echoed out with the blast, as Liam slung his mothers arm to and fro. For all her fragility, she clung to her gun as if her life depended on it....and it did.

He bent the gun so that it was pointing back at her and wrapped his finger over hers, the one that gripped the trigger so profoundly, and pulled it himself.

Eleanor fell to her knees, clutching her lower stomach, a look of anger and shock, mixed with defeat staring upward at the son she betrayed in every way, "You son of a bitch".

Liam scoffed at the irony of her words, "You're right, I am... a son of a bitch".

She slunk to the ground, lifeless with a pained scowl. A pool of crimson collecting around her like a dam bursting wide open.

He hurried himself to the son he had not seen in weeks, who was still letting out frantic cries as large tears burst from his reddened eyes. Liam wiping his own tears at the sight of his infant child, safe and unharmed. "Its okay Little Love...daddy's here now". As reached in to pick up Nikolas, he felt a seering sting in his back, causing him to let go of his baby before he could even lift him into his comforting arms.

Liam's hands instictively flung to the pain he was experiencing, feeling the warm shred in his shirt and the liquid that seeped through his fingers. It hurt to breath, to even move, but, he turned to see his mother on the floor, pointing the smoking gun up at him.

He inhaled what little air he could, closed his eyes, and spoke silently one last time to himself, "I love you Riley and Nikolas, I always will".

The next sound was the kill shot.

_____________________________

Riley jolted from the bed, tossing the sheet aside, her physical pain mired by the emotional turmoil she was experiencing.

She felt Liam slip away, a deep loneliness sweeping across her heart. She plundered further into her despondant state, knowing she could never live without him, his love, his touch, his arms wrapped around her.

Lost and battered, she found herself alone in the room they shared all their best memories, with a man she thought of as her brother, murdered, accidently, by her own actions.

She slipped to the floor on all fours, weeping softly to herself as she began the long, painstaking trek to the balcony. She crawled over Bertrand, squeezing her eyes tightly closed so that she wouldn't have to see the evil sin she had commited.

She lifted herself up at the balcony railing to a standing position, her knees wobbly from the distant crawl. With the moonlight glowing brighter than she had ever witnessed, Riley admired the stars twinkling and the sounds of crickets singing harmoniously. Her thoughts took her back to her first night in Cordonia, a race in the maze leading to a kiss with a prince. A night very similar to this one.

She peeked over the railing of their fourth floor balcony. The sweet, fragrant aroma of the rose bush below, giving her a sense of calm and ease.

Riley wrapped her arms around herself, rubbing her ams for warmth from the cold night air before closing her eyes. She spoke softly to herself, "I'm coming to you Liam and Nikolas", feeling happiness for the first time since The Fall of Cordonia.

Her tiny body leaned over the railing and she let herself go. Peace and relief would soon overcome her as she flew through the air. The impact was quick and welcomed.

__________________________________

A bright light flickered as chilly hands poked and prodded at her face, fingers forcing an eye open. She squinted and winced as the light was too much on her unadjusted pupils.

"Welcome back, Your Majesty, I'm Dr. Layton. Do you know what happened to you?".

Riley's eyes flickered as she continued to adjust to the lights of the room and the image of the voice who had spoken with her came into focus.

"Queen Riley, can you hear me....do you know why you're in the hospital?"

Riley swallowed hard, realizing how dry her lips were. She tried to moistened them, yet, her tongue was bare, as well. A hand tilted her head forward and a straw was offered to her. Confused, she drew in the cool water that soothed her palate before resting her head back against a pillow. "I...I...died".

"Not exactly", the doctor spoke again while checking her vitals on the monitor, "..you were brought in after the earthquake, a piece of the ceiling fell at the restaurant you were eating in and you took a nasty hit to the head.....you've been out for a few hours".

Riley reached up, tugging the IV cord in her hand, to feel a bandage clinging to the top portion of her forehead.

An older nurse checking on Riley's bandage, asked if she wanted visitors, to which she nodded affirmatively. Not completely sure of what had happened or what was going on, she watched with anticipation as the nurse finished up and walked to the door of her room.

Riley burst into tears moments later when she saw Liam, holding a bright eyed, Nikolas, rushing into her room and racing to her side. They shared a long awaited kiss and exchanges of love, before Liam placed Nikolas in her needing arms. A flurry of emotions passing through her, knowing they both were safe and with her.

Over the next several hours, she learned that several people had been injured in Valtoria from the earthquake, but, no deaths were recorded. Her friends visited or called her one by one and she wept with joy with each person...Mara, Maxwell, Savannah, Bertrand, Drake, Leo, Olivia, Madeleine, Regina and Bastien.

During the quiet still of the night as she laid restless in her hospital room, with Liam and Nikolas laying at her side, she hesitantly shared her dream.

Liam kissed her temple reassuringly, "My love, it was only a dream...I'm here, we are all three here together, our friends and our country are safe....it was just a very bad dream".

"I know", she uttered, "it just felt so damn real...like it was a warning or something".

He wrapped his free arm around her back as she shifted to her side into his embrace, trailing her thumb gently across Nikolas's cheek. "I promise you we are more than prepared for anything that comes our way, we always come out on top, love".

"I hope so....I love you, Liam".

"I love you too darling".

-----------------------------------

"Amalas!", Bradshaw stands from his desk to greet her, "what brings you all the way to Auvernal this late".

She grins slyly with a gleen in her eyes, as he kisses both of her cheeks, "I have an offer I don't think you can refuse.....shall we discuss, Cordonia".

Bradshaw's lips curl with intrique and desire as he offers her a seat, "It's like you read my mind".

[eye-zen]

DROWNED

Swim or Sink

As I waited for the TSA security screening to open, my heart raced. It was absolutely the wrong time to have any negative thoughts but the anxiousness hit me like a ton of coconuts. You know that moment when you imagine everything that could possibly go wrong. 

The airport was cold and had a feeling of abandonment. Occupied only by workers cleaning, a few TSA agents, and an armed officer accompanied by a german shepherd. Arriving 4 hours before my 8am flight, the anticipation was overwhelming. After braving the cold for several months I was prepared to head closer to the equator. Where the sun was food and the sea was a reflection of the sky on a cloudless day. Stress is an understatement as life in the city is accompanied by ceaseless sirens, congested trains, and accessibility to any junk food you can think of. The separation from my island home had taken its toll on me, ironically, I never lived in the islands but I imagined for years what it would be like. Never thought I would make the move under these circumstances but people around me were dying and I felt the grim reaper closing in.

To relieve the overthinking I put on my headphones and listened to some jazz, It was Nocturne by Alfa Mist.  It calmed my nerves long enough for security screening to open and for me to begin the process of checking in to my flight. The check in process was smooth as I packed very light, just a duffle bag with a few underclothes and a couple of essentials. I headed to gate 18 in a sleepwalking daze. Throughout the desolate airport I saw a few people sleeping in corners cuddling with their charging spouses but we call them cell phones. 

I found a seat in a dimly lit corner near the window. The seat faced the tarmac and had a view of the city just on the horizon.  Taking deep breaths, I still couldn’t believe the moment was here. Thinking to myself, by this time tomorrow I’ll be sleeping in a nice bed and waking up hours later to the fresh smell of sea water. My eyes began to burn and became heavy like bricks as I fought my sleep. Finally I gave in as the tunes I was listening to expedited the process. An hour later I woke up and surveyed my surroundings, there seemed to be a few people who arrived and were waiting. I picked up my phone to check the time and change to a different playlist. Within a few minutes I was nodding off again, I hadn’t slept in over 34 hours. This time when my eyes opened the sun was rising over the cityscape and a few more airplanes had entered onto the tarmac. When I turned my head the seats were starting to fill up as life was finally being breathed into the airport. I adjusted myself in the seat and reached for my bottle of water. It had just enough for a sip, not nearly enough to quench my thirst. A few seats away from me was an older woman with what appeared to be her grandchild. I asked her if she could keep an eye on my belongings while I went to the restroom and a concession stand. I asked if she would like two bottles of water as well but she politely declined. When I entered the bathroom I looked for a urinal with the least amount of liquid on the floor. Afterwards I made my way to a sink and made wudu,  Washing my hands, face, nose, ears, and arms before drying myself off with a paper towel. I felt refreshed but still tired, I guess the 2 hour nap had not done me much justice. After buying my water and a few packs of M&ms i headed back to my seat. I killed time for a few more hours before my flight was finally announced to be boarded. I walked down the long corridor to the plane and sat at my seat 27F. Before the entire plane could be seated I fastened my seatbelt, turned on my music and went to sleep. 

I woke up and heard the ice shuffling into a cup before I opened my eyes

Excuse me would you like orange juice, tea, coffee, or water ?

I quickly wiped whatever drool had not made it to my clothes and opened the window. The sun was glaring and instantly made me hot so I closed it.  May I have some water please, thank you. I looked at the time and only slept for 45 minutes. I thought to myself, these naps are feeling like eternity. I opened the window back halfway and stared out of it. Gliding across the sky, in and out of clouds I couldn’t help but smile, I dreamed of this. 

Hours later we began the descenion and then landing. Looking out the window I could see nothing but plush green mountains sitting in the middle of blue water. As we approached the island, the water went from dark blue to teal, nothing I’ve ever seen before. The landing was smooth and I noticed this airport didnt have any bridges for the plane to be attached too. To my pleasant surprise the plane stopped  in the middle of the tarmac and passengers began exiting the plane. As people wrestled with their carry on luggage from overhead compartments I sat patiently with my duffle bag ready but nervous to exit. One of the flight attendants opened the back door which made the process go quicker. As I exited the plane a gust of wind hit my face. It felt like a smooth caress. The smell of sea water instantly made me smile as my nose and lungs happily embraced it. 

The airport was surrounded by green mountains and the ocean could be heard just over a treeline. I couldn’t believe I finally made it. Feeling like I escaped the grasp of death only to make it to heaven on earth. I walked past the baggage claim and straight to the arrival section. I was the first from my flight to leave. Clothed with a hoodie and a long sleeve t-shirt I took it off and almost threw it in the trash before hearing a familiar voice.

OY ! aye cuz ! 

I looked up and there was my cousin sitting in his car. I hadn’t seen King in years. One year he came up for the summer when we were younger. All I remember was his accent and him putting a tiddy on my basketball from always kicking it. 

Yo…wassup cuz! 

Glad to see you made it, how was your flight ?

Man it was ok, I slept a lot. The view from up there was crazy though cuz, can’t believe we are in the middle of the ocean like ths. 

Yes man, this is my home. Nothing like it you finally made it. I’m gonna show you a good time….yo where are the rest of your bags ?

This is all I have. 

What ? Haha pack light huh ?

You already know cuz…

I threw my bag in the back seat of his pickup truck and we drove off of the airport lot. The weather was beautiful and the landscape even better. Just hours ago I was in the concrete jungle now I’m cruising in paradise. There were vibrant colors, a stark contrast to the dark grey matter that clouded the city. People on the side of the road selling fresh fruit and vegetables, even a man on a horse in the middle of traffic. A few minutes later we stopped on the side of the road and got some coconuts to drink from a man selling them. At first I wasn’t too fond of the taste but I finished it and felt refreshed. More refreshing then any bottle of water I’ve ever had.

Well cuz were going to go on a longer ride later but I have to work this morning and afternoon.  I’ll drop you back off at the house for now. 

Damn Cuz, you work two jobs ?

Yes Man, in the morning doing a little construction and at night got a gig at the resort. Here, you gotta hustle. Paradise ain’t easy but it’s worth it.

Yea, I get it.

Well I don’t live too far from town so you can find your way around while I’m at work. All you have to do is tell the taxi where i live and they’ll drop you off. I mean unless you are tired, it looks like you haven’t slept in days.

Okay cool. Well yeah  you right about that. It’s been a day or two. Couldn’t sleep thinking about getting on that plane.

Yea well I heard everything that was going down up there, I’m glad you made it. Here, it’s all about respect. You don’t trouble anyone then everything should be irie. 

Yea for sure .

We turned off the main road and started heading up a steep hill. The road was not paved and surrounded by trees, so much so that it blocked the sun. After a few bumps we approached a bright red house with a white roof sitting on top of a grassy knoll. The view was amazing, I could see the ocean and what appeared to be “town” at the  bottom of the mountain. I didn’t realize how high we came but we seemed to be pretty elevated. 

Dam cuz this is a crazy view..

Yeh Meh son. Before I go to work I sit out here and drink my tea. Early in the morning or late at night you could hear the waves crashing from here, especially during a full moon. 

Well let me show you around real quick, I have to head to work. 

King gave me a tour of the house and where I would be sleeping. The house smelled like incense and had art on nearly all the walls. My bedroom was small but decent. It had a bed, nightstand, closet, but the best feature was the windows. I had a perfect view and the breeze flowed through effortlessly. Swaying the curtains back and forth like sails on a boat. I flopped on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a few minutes. Those few minutes became more as I fell into a power nap once again. When I woke up the breeze was still blowing and I still was in the islands. Part of me was extremely relieved that it wasn’t just a dream. 

I took a shower freshened up and decided to go exploring. On the kitchen counter King left a house key and a freshly picked mango from the tree outside. 

I began my trek down the hill in search for town. Cars passed me by honking as they maneuvered down the narrow winding road. One of the cars honked as it passed me by and I waved. The car stopped so I guess they thought I flagged them down. It turned out to be what’s known as a dollar cab.

Yea yea,. Good Afternoon, Where are you headed?

 I’m going to town. 

To town huh ? You’re not from here , What part of town are you going too ?

I don’t know, just town. I’m going to walk around and check everything out. 

Ok, ok. Well what brings you here brethren. 

I don’t know, just wanted to experience paradise.

Oh, ok I see. Well from my experience talking to foreigners who come here it’s always two things. You are either running from something or running to something. Which one is it ?

To be honest it might be both. Now if i’m running to something, only time will tell. 

Yes, I. Well here on my island, it’s a beautiful place. Weather is 80 degrees plus everyday, plenty of good food and beautiful women. But one thing I must warn you. Some of the women here are Mami wata or what you foreigners call mermaids. You must be careful, nothing here is what it seems. 

 Yea ok, i’ll keep that in mind. 

We approached the town after a few minutes. The buildings looked relatively old and there were quite a few tourists traversing the streets. I paid the taxi driver the fare and exited the car. I crossed the street with a family of roosters and entered into a clothing store. I bought some sunglasses and a bottle of water. Block by block I walked through town learning its layout. It must have been obvious I wasn’t from the island because I could see people staring at me. I thought I would be able to blend in, being that the tourists were for the most part white but that wasn’t the case. After an hour or two of walking around I found a restaurant on the harbor. The water was like a parking lot for boats. The sail boats seemed to have stretched for miles as traffic in and out of the harbor was steady. Under the surface of the water was a huge fish. I could see them swimming back and forth as if they were waiting to be fed. I ordered the most american thing you could probably get, a cheeseburger and french fries. After eating my lunch I sat on the harbor for a while then continued my walk through the town. During my walk I noticed I approached a restaurant bar that grabbed my attention for some reason. It was called Sea Breeze and unlike the rest of the restaurants, stores, and bars this one was by its loneliness just outside of the main cluster of businesses. I made my way in the empty bar overlooking the water and sat down. 

A few minutes later I could hear voices behind a closed door. There was a man carrying a clipboard with a phone to his ears.

 Good afternoon, can I help you.

 Yea sure, I just want to order a drink. 

Ok, no problem. Serene ! Serene ! You have someone out here.

 Seconds later a woman appeared from the door holding a box of beer. 

Yes, good afternoon, what can I get for you?

For a second I was at a loss for words. Her presence alone paralyzed my tongue. Unable to speak, I just nodded my head until I snapped out of my daze. 

Umm yes,, good afternoon, sure can I have a glass of water,

Ok, is that it ?

Yes, that’s it for now.

 Ok, well here is a menu for you. Let me know if you want anything else.

Her skin was golden brown and her hair was black, curly and glowing. She was adorned with a few pieces of jewelry. A perfect accessory complimenting her skin tone. After giving me my water she walked back to the room and retrieved a few more boxes. In a few more trips she began restocking the bar with drinks We conversed for a few minutes before I asked for a drink, a glass of whisky to be exact. I don’t normally drink but it’s as if i was hypnotized. I mean I guess thats what a bartender is supposed to do but it felt different. Jokingly I asked, “you wouldn’t happen to be a mami wata, would you ?

She looked at me with a blank stare and began laughing. 

 You haven’t been on the island a whole day and you are already talking about mami wata. Haha who have you been speaking to? 

 The taxi driver mentioned that to me,

 Well what did he tell you about this mami wata. 

Not much, just that some women on the island were mami wata and that I should be aware of them. 

 Haha well that’s all you know. The elders say mami wata are half women and half fish. In the daytime they live on land looking for people to bring back to the water at night. They Are said to be the most beautiful women and have the ability to put men in a trance. They lure men into the water at night where they drown or are never seen again. 

Wow choices, I escape death from gun shots only to be in danger  by the hands of a beautiful woman fish. I think I’ll take my chances with the latter. But, thank you for the fairy tale, I’ll keep that in mind. 

Before I knew it, hours passed and I had more than enough drinks. It was the most drinks I’ve ever had at one time in my life. The sun was down and when I looked at the clock it read 10pm. The restaurant workers were cleaning up and starting to close up shop. What in the world just happened. Where had all the time gone ?!? Everything at that point was confusion. The girl I was speaking to looked at me and said, were closing up now. I walked outside the restaurant onto the street. The road was empty of taxis and most of the restaurants had started to close. I began walking through town retracing my steps. My stomach was growling horribly and I was extremely tired. I thought to myself “ How the fuck, did i let this happen. I really don’t remember drinking that much, how much did i drink? I feel horrible” 

I finally made it to the outskirts of town and saw the direction I needed to walk home. I stood on the side of the road for a few minutes hoping that I would get lucky and maybe my cousin would pass me by or at the very least a taxi cab. In 15 minutes I decided to just walk back to the house. At first the walk was cool untilI started sweating profusely. The roads were dark and the sound of crickets and dogs nearly drowned out my thoughts. I walked until I finally reached the hill that led up to the house. Suddenly a wave hit me and I became even more drunk than I already was. Along with this came stomach pains I could barely fathom. How much did I really drink and did I not eat while I was drinking. There were so many questions that I had no answers to. I stumbled up the hill every few steps before having to lean up against a tree for a break. I took one step before collapsing to the ground. I rolled over on my back and stared up at the sky. It was the first time I’ve seen stars in years. As much as I hated laying in the muddy ditch I knew that I needed to lay there in order to recover. I gained the strength to get up and began my trek back up the hill. There would be a few more falls before I finally made it to the house. Dusty dirty and drunk. Wasn’t quite the experience I imagined for my first 24 hours in my new home. My cousin’s car wasn’t at the house yet so I figured he was still at work. I slipped off my muddy clothes and reached in the pocket for my cell phone. The phone was nowhere to be found. Wow, so I lost my mind and my cell phone, THIS CAN’T BE LIFE RIGHT NOW. 

I stumbled to my bedroom and flopped on the bed, dusty and all. Hours later I woke up as the sun was just starting to rise. I hopped up and threw some clothes on. My head was hurting and my stomach was still in pain. I thought to myself this is going to be a bad hangover. I walked outside and began tracing my steps. Before I knew it, I was back at the restaurant. The black gate surrounding the bar was locked and there was no Sea Breeze sign but rather a poster that read for Sale by owner. For Sale ? I was just here last night, ain’t no way. I was too ill to figure it out so I walked back to the outskirts of town and caught a taxi home. On the ride back home my headache became more severe and my stomach pain was excruciating. I probably was in desperate need for food but now I didn’t even have the strength to make me food. I exerted all of my strength walking back into town searching for my cell phone. I laid back in bed and began tossing and turning in agony. The breeze flowing through the window offered a little bit of relief but not enough to ease the pain. It was the most painful thing I’ve ever felt in my life. It was as if whatever I drank started to slowly eat out my insides. I grabbed onto my sheets, clinching them and holding the pillow over my face. Suddenly sun rays came through the window and pierced through the pillow onto my face. I turned my head and looked towards the window. At that moment a sharp pain striked me in the stomach and I closed my eyes. 

I blinked once then all of a sudden I was staring at myself. In disbelief I blinked again and I was still looking at myself. As if I was standing over the bed. I could not believe what I was seeing. The craziest part about it, is I was completely conscious of what I was seeing. There I was, looking at my body tossing and turning in agony. I was able to see myself from the outside looking in but I did not feel the physical pain. The more I blinked the more I started to rise above my body and move farther away. The further away I moved the less my physical body started moving. The vision of myself started to become blurry when suddenly I heard a loud knock

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Aye cuz ! you good in there ? OY!

King  opened the door and my eyes suddenly opened and I felt pain again.

Yo whats up cuz, you good ?

I saw your clothes outside when I got in. I put them to be washed.

Yea. yea everything is good. My stomach is killing me though. Do you have any advils?

No cuz i dont use those things. I have some tea brewing right now. 

Man, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was sitting there having a drink of water and whisky then the next I was laying in a ditch. 

 Hahaha well yea i can see that. You wasted no time getting acquainted with the Mami Watas I see.

Hold on, you know about the mami wata too ??

 Of course, why wouldn’t I be. 

Why didn’t you tell me about them? Do you think that’s what happened to me. ???

When I left yesterday you were knocked out. I figured you would sleep all day but hahaha I also didn’t expect this to happen to you on your first day here. Well you must be lucky because you actually survived. Word of advice cuz, don’t get too caught up in looks. Looks can be deceiving.. A pretty face can kill you.

Too late cuz, I may have already died.

[phoenixfeatherquill]

Chaos Theory

AN: I guess I’m writing Timeless fic now.  Sigh.  My take on what may have happened when she spent the night with Flynn.

“You’re attracted to chaos.” 

 Lucy’s eyes narrowed. The vodka burned as she swallowed slowly, enjoying the exquisite pain. A year ago, the drink would’ve made her eyes sting and her throat close, but nowadays…since her sister’s disappearance…since Wyatt’s wife returned from the dead…she was growing accustomed to the pain. 

Flynn watched her, perhaps expecting an angry retort. She did not give him that satisfaction, merely asked, “How do you figure?” 

He opened his mouth to respond and she quickly interjected, “You better not quote from that damn journal.” 

Flynn chuckled. His glass of vodka was still half-full, an unacceptable imbalance. She frowned and leaned over to pour him more. He watched her actions in utter fascination and she avoided staring directly into his eyes. She used to hate those awful, penetrating green eyes. Snake eyes. Hypnotic, intense, disturbing. She already didn’t like that he knew so much about her from the journal, it was even more disconcerting that his unsettling snake eyes seemed to read her expressions just as well. 

“From the beginning,” Flynn’s hands tapped the glass musingly. “Wyatt had only one thing on his mind when he discovered the time machine. His wife. He was desperate to get her back. Would stop at nothing. And who could blame him?” 

It struck Lucy that Flynn and Wyatt had a great deal more in common than Wyatt liked to admit. Flynn, however, seemed perfectly comfortable with their parallels. 

“He told me he wanted to move on,” Lucy murmured, pouring herself another glass. She flinched at Flynn’s snort. 

“You knew there would be no moving on,” Flynn pointed out. “You were attracted to his chaos. The unattainable burden, the longing for something that could never truly be yours. You like the chaos, Lucy. Even when it cuts you down.” 

“I don’t buy it,” Lucy informed him. “I’ve spent my life trying to have control. Why would I be attracted to something I couldn’t control?” 

He took a thoughtful sip of vodka and they sat in silence for a moment. They’d be running low on drinks in a moment. She ought to wander off to the rec room to get more…perhaps she could send Flynn. If she heard Wyatt and Jessica through the walls again, she wasn’t sure how she’d react. 

“Where there is control,” Flynn spoke suddenly. “There is no passion. And you…crave passion, despite all the neat little ordered boxes you’ve placed around you.” 

Lucy didn’t entirely know how to respond to this. She took another gulp of vodka and mulled over his words. 

“Anyway,” Flynn said smoothly, readjusting himself on his chair. “Even if Jessica hadn’t returned—I doubt you and Wyatt would have lasted.” 

Lucy choked. “Oh yeah? And why’s that?” 

“He is too predictable. You would’ve gotten bored.” 

“And who would’ve been better for me?” Alcohol buzzed through her veins and she spoke the forbidden word. “You?” 

The sudden silence was deafening. She could feel the heat in her cheeks but she determinedly stared his snake eyes down, refusing to give an inch. She absolutely hated how she couldn’t read his expression, particularly when he seemed so good at reading hers. 

Flynn took his time to answer. He finished his drink and slowly set his glass down. 

“Hardly,” He said finally. “I would be terrible for you.” 

The tense silence broke and she let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “You’re the one who said I was attracted to chaos. You’re the most chaotic person I know.” 

He smirked. “I didn’t deny an attraction. I simply said I would be a terrible man to be with.” 

“I never said I was attracted to you!” Lucy found herself at her feet. The room was spinning slightly and she wobbled as she stomped towards her. He half-rose, as though expecting her to fall over herself. 

“I didn’t come here for—whatever you think I came here for. I just came to drink, okay? So knock it off!” 

The amusement in his eyes was infuriating. “Knock what off?” 

“Acting like you know so much!” Lucy resisted the urge to stomp her foot like a child. “I’m not the Lucy in the journal! You have no idea who or what I’m attracted to and you don’t get to pick who I’m with!” 

“I know you’re not,” He said gently. “I apologize for offending you. You’ve had a hard night. I shouldn’t tease.” 

She glanced at his clock. 2:37AM. What was that sitcom that said nothing good happened after 2AM? She couldn’t remember, the vodka was making everything hazy. She knew her night would be patchy and disjointed in the morning, like an unfinished puzzle. The knowledge of this, however, made her feel particularly reckless. 

Lucy took a step—backwards or forwards, she wasn’t particularly sure. But she tripped, naturally, and immediately Flynn was up like a shot, steadying her. He led her to his bed and sat her down carefully. 

“Shall I return you to your room?” He asked and she tried not to look into his snake eyes. Too glittering, too enchanting, she was losing all sense of self… 

“No.” 

The certainty in her voice gave him pause. He seemed a little startled at this turn of events. 

She scooted over a little. “Sit.” 

His eyes flicked over towards the rumpled bedsheets. “Perhaps I should…” 

“Sit,” Lucy commanded. “Two shots left in this bottle.” She waved it tantalizingly. 

Flynn sat gingerly, giving her a wide berth. But she was past the point of caring. She poured him a glass and swigged the remainder. 

 “One more drink,” She told him and pointed at his glass. 

 “And then you’ll go to bed?” 

Lucy nodded. She felt as though she were floating like a ghost, like she was watching herself do vodka shots with the man who shot Lincoln. Amusingly enough, the terrorist seemed both amused and uncomfortable with how the night was turning out. 

Still, he finished off his last drink obediently. Lucy stood up from the bed to take his glass. 

“What are you doing?” Flynn complained. “You said you’d go to bed.” 

“I am,” Lucy said with great dignity. “Clean up first. I will not be accused of trashing your room.” 

She promptly tripped on an empty bottle and fell backwards into Flynn. She expected him to shove her off his lap, but instead, he froze. 

Lucy looked up at him curiously. She caught his gaze and wondered how long he would allow her to remain on his lap. 

“You’re drunk,” He said very softly. “I’ve never seen you drunk.” 

She poked his chin. “I’ve never seen you drunk.” 

“You have. But not yet.” 

Stupid, stupid, time loop. She scowled and poked his chin again. “Do you want me to get off you?” 

He hesitated. Interesting. A wave of recklessness that only vodka could supply swept over Lucy. She traced the outline of his chin and watched with interest as his green eyes darkened a shade. This was the first time she thought she could read his expression. 

“Yes,” Flynn said finally, though he made no move to extricate her from his lap. 

“Took too long to answer. Now I’m comfortable.” 

He exhaled noisily and she smirked. There seemed to be an intense conflict of interests warring across his features and she rather wanted to know how it would play out. 

“Lucy,” Flynn growled. “Do not—do not tempt me.” 

At that, she pulled down his collar and kissed him. 

You’re attracted to chaos. His words rang through her mind as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She had shocked him and it pleased her. He thought he knew everything about her, didn’t he? But he hadn’t seen this coming. 

His lips remained firmly closed. It was a little like kissing a statue. Undeterred, she kissed him again, gently massaging his lower lip with her tongue. This seemed to break whatever resolve he had and he finally gave way, allowing her to explore the taste of him. Smoke and vodka, something sweet…like cinnamon. 

He pulled her closer to him and she moved in harmony, until she was straddling him. His fingers twitched against her back and she threaded her fingers through his dark hair, marveling a little at its softness. She liked the way he growled a bit when she kissed him and she tugged impatiently as his sweater, slipping her hands underneath. 

“No, no, no.” He broke away from her and to her delight he was flushed and his green eyes almost looked black. “No. Go to sleep, Lucy. I’ll take you back to your room.” 

“I don’t want to go back to my room.” The idea of her cold, lonely bunker was intolerable. 

“Fine. You can sleep here.” 

He lifted her up like a child and lay her down gently. Exhaustion was overcoming desire now, and she allowed him to tuck her in and only mumbled a little in displeasure. 

“Go to sleep,” His voice was raspy. 

She sighed impatiently. 

“Not like this, Lucy. Not with you intoxicated. Go to sleep.” 

Lucy wondered if she’d remember this adventure in the morning. It was her last thought before she fell asleep.

[toxikbubblegum]

April Reading Review

April was a big month for me. After not reading for a long time, this month I've fallen back in love with it. So I've decided to log all the books I read from now on. To track and remember what I've read throughout the year. Sorry if I shit on your favorite book.

Eragon by Christopher Paolini

The only book I DNF'd. I've tried to read this series 3 times since it came out and I just cant. I quit about half way through everytime. It's just extremely slow and I cant seem to get invested. The characters are bland and dont intrest me at all. Just didn't care for it in the slightest.

Need by Carrie Jones

Oh, was this a trip. And not a good one. Being completely honest I dont remember any of the characters names and I dont care enough about this title to look them up. I will refer to them by their stereotypes that were so fuckinh prevalent in this novel. 🙃 So the story is about this girl, your typical "look how quirky and plain I am" ya heroine for these B list supernatural romances, is sent to this little town in I want to say North Carolina, but dont quote me there. She moves in with her Grandma, who is 100% the best character in the book, after he dad mysterious drops dead on the kitchen floor. So, right off the bat we end up in the first day of school trope. Main character is in the office and here we meet a boy and a girl WHO ARE CLEARLY THE ANTAGONISTS OF BOOK. This may just be a me problem but I absolutely hate when I can unravel the entire book in the first few chapters. It feels like the author was lazy and didnt put enough effort into concealing the intent and weaving a mystery. I digress, the two main villains and the main love interest are all introduced within the first 3 chapters and like, it's made clear who these characters are meant to be. It honestly felt like the writer looked at a list of stereotype tropes and started checking them off. So yeah, weird shit starts happening and the main character is convinced someone in trying to kill her. Oh, theres also this overarching theme of high school boys wandering into the woods and disappearing. Conclusion: FAIRIES! Or pixies rather which arent really pixies but have the name forcefully sewn onto them in this novel. And shapeshifters are the towns only hope! Just ugh. I don't want to talk about this book anymore. It was awful and I wont be continuing the trilogy. I rated it 2 stars out of 5 right after I read it but I almost dont feel it deserves that now. Looking back on it, Need was just a dumpster fire.

The Dark Descent of Elizabeth Frankenstein by Kiersten White

This book was fantastic. No if, ands, or buts about it. It was one of the best books I've read this month. I'm usually not a big fan of horror retellings or historical fiction so I went in expecting to hate it and that absolutely wasnt the case. The book follows the story of Elizabeth Lavenza, the future wife of Victor Frankenstein, and her adventures prior to her marriage. I dont want to spoil too much because I think anyone who is a fan of suspense will love this novel. The side characters are usually my biggest critique in YA but the author worked magic with them. Justine and Mary were both angels and I loved them so much. It was just an all around good read that had me captivated from start to finish. 4.5/5 stars. Deducted a half point because I'm salty about the fate of my favorite character. Is that petty?

Hex Hall by Rachel Hawkins

Again, another title I kind of expected to have issues with but didnt. The book definitely suffers from a lot of YA tropes but they are presented in a more interesting way than in Need. The story follows a budding witch named Sophia who is being sent to a magical reform school called Hecate Hall. But it's not your typical "I got sent to boarding school" story. The year before a witch had died under mysterious circumstances, her body completely drained of blood. Everyone thought it was Sophie's vampire roommate Jenna who did it but there was never enough evidence. And now its happening again. The story is great and while the cast suffered a bit from trope syndrome, the twists in the plot really made up for it. I would definitely give the trilogy a read if supernatural school settings are your thing. 4/5 stars.

Demonglass by Rachel Hawkins

The sequel to Hex Hall. The continuation was really good and had an ending I absolutely didnt see coming. Actually liked this entry better than the first in the series. I plan to continue the trilogy as well as the spin off novels. 4.5/5 Deducted half a point for the infuriatingly ambiguous ending cliffhanger.

Sweep by Cate Tiernan

This book was meh at best. It was a tiny book about a girl who becomes a witch. She gets super into wicca and because of a pagan boy at school. It wasnt great but it was semi accurate to the religion. I dont honestly even remember much about the book. It went in one ear and out theother. Solid 3/5.

Splintered by A.G. Howard

This. Book. Is. Wonderful. It's a retelling sort of thing of Alice in Wonderland. It follows a girl named Alyssa, who is the descendant of Alice Liddel, as she tries to break her family's curse of madness. It infects only the women of the line and will eventually drive them insane, as it has Alyssa's mom. The one blight on an otherwise perfect book is Jebidiah, Alyssa's crush. He is a trash character and I hate him. I have so many problems with him that it would take far to long to list. My biggest one is that he is mildly abusive and extremely controlling. Just in the first part of the story he intentionally ruins Alyssa's education opportunity to study abroad purely for selfish reasons, forces his way into her home when he was asked to leave, goes through her belongings after being told not to, gives off major stalker vibes, and consistently treats her like his property. His presence was such a fucking stain on an otherwise lovely romp. Honestly, Morpheus and the twisted world building were what saved the book for me. Howard did such a brilliant job weaving together a demented version of an already dark land. 4.5/5. Gotta take a half point for the oozing, cancerous sore that is Jebidiah Holt.

[unholyhelbiglinked]

Camp Beaverbrook | 007

CHECK OUT THE STORY FROM THE START HERE

Hey Mom!

It’s been what? A week since I’ve last written. I’m not really sure if they’re sending these letters on Fridays or if they actually spend that much money on postage. Part of me thinks that they don’t send them at all and they’re just sitting in those big plastic cases that Gail always keeps under lock and key. It’s been fun, though, but I’m ready to be a counselor now. I think this is the perfect send off.

Emily

She mindlessly pushed the three lone carrots against the broth backdrop. They looked sad, all of their coating having tinted the liquid that they swam in. They looked like little life rafts that could carry a whole person if a person was an ant.

She had her lip between her teeth, her stare trained in the general direction of the counselors. On one counselor that had the sunlight hitting her just right as it rose against the mess hall. Emily had a full conversation with her yesterday, one where she only choked on her words once or twice. She knew Aubrey, had seen her every single day at camp for the past three and a half years but still- each time was met with her heart in her throat and an instant moisture to her palms.

The blonde did a bit of a double take, first catching a gray gaze before shooting back down to her own food and up again. She offered up a kind smile and a half-hearted wave. Emily fumbled with herself, cheeks inflamed as she lifted her chin in a nod and looked back toward the grooves of the table that had gotten so interesting. An onion clung to the back of her spoon.

“You are helpless.” Hayley tore a generous piece from a roll, dipping it into the broth. “Just jump her bones already.”

“What?” Emily hissed, voice low “I don’t want to- I mean, she’s flawless but that doesn’t mean I need to have sex with her. Honestly just being in her presence-“She trailed off, gulping in a heap of air “Where’s Jane?”

“Nice change of subject Michel Emerson.”

Emily let out a deep grumble at the reference. Hayley was playing to her weakness; a shitty movie about vampires that hung from the bottom of train tracks. Michel Emerson had risked everything for a pretty girl with an alluring personality, even if it did turn him into a creature of the night. “Seriously, asshole, she hasn’t shown for lunch, and now dinner?”

“So? Jane never shows. She probably passed out after her time slot on the lake. Yeah?” Hayley rolled her eyes.

She had spent more than enough time talking Emily down. She had kept the clumsy girl from nearly drowning in the lake when Aubrey told her to simply cool off. It was getting late, there was sleep eating away at the edge of her mind and it showed in her demeanor. Not particularly sunny, but often times confused with discontent.

“Sure.” Emily agreed, not having anything else to do. She had lost all appetite for any type of dinner. There was a sneaking pinprick at the back of her mind. Something that she had gotten before. Her mother used to say the uneasiness was a clear sign that she needed to listen to her gut. But that was only before she put her on a plane for a class trip to New York with enough money to buy mace as soon as they touched down.

Now it was rocking her whole entire sense of being.

Emily let her spoon fall into the soup that was mainly untouched. It created a loud noise and beef broth soaked against her cheek. Hayley flinched, lifting her eyebrows. “You’re going to offend the chef.”

Coffee eyes shot towards the kitchen, Jesse was bringing the knife down on what looked like more onions. It certainly smelled that way. He had bulky headphones over his ears and a towel against his shoulder, head bobbing along. Somehow, she knew he would be okay.

She rolled her eyes and swung her legs over the bench. “Wha- where are you going?”

“I am going to go check her cabin,” Emily said, throwing her napkin down against the bowl of soup before gathering it all together. She didn’t wait for Hayley to open her mouth in protest, instead, she walked towards the very window that supplied the neon light of the kitchen.

Jesse glanced up, lifting his chin slightly before she gave him a wary smile and dropped the bowl before anyone else had, careful not to spill the broth. He went back to bobbing his head, and Emily exited the mess hall trying impossibly hard not to look towards the counselors.

There was a frigid chill to the air that made her seek for any type of warmth, a jacket over her simple cotton t-shirt, something to ease the cold that presented itself the moment the sun started to lower against the pine needle trees.

She shoved her hands into her jean shorts and walked against the path that had been carved out ages ago. There were boot prints, and even bare feet tracked in the loose dirt. Her breath pressed into the air in a soft cloud, something she used to exhaust. That small prick buzzing like her table was ready at a family restaurant.

The cabin looked bigger than before, almost like each of the three steps that she took up to the screen door were miles long. Her legs ached and shook, but she still pulled it open and glanced around the space: Her bed had been made this morning and was still left untouched. Hayley’s was a mess under her own, and Jane was empty. The covers were pulled back and the setting sun highlighted it in a ghastly orange.

Emily let out the breath that she didn’t know she was holding onto. Her lungs burned, and her ears were ringing now. A pressure and anxiety that she couldn’t fiddle with tugged at her. The door creaking open as she turned to face it.

Hayley.

She leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows raised. “Not here?”

“No, afraid not.” Emily let out a deep breath. “Dinner over?”

The girl nodded and flopped down on her mattress, stretching her hands out over her head as she groaned as her back popped in just the right way. She didn’t think she took that long to walk to the cabin across the camp, but she had, dragging her feet and begging for a reason to make the ringing stop.

Emily could feel her throat tighten and she blamed the cold air, not the deepening feeling in her stomach as she shook her head and pushed past her screen door, standing staggered against the steps to her cabin. It was crowded this time, kids trying to get back to their bunks before the mountain night grew chillier.

She watched as kids that wore a mix of forest green and golden yellow walked among counselors that were far from finished with their nights. She would often see the fire rising from the rocky shore and smell the beer in the metal trash cans that next morning. The thought made her skin prickle.

Aubrey Posen stood by the edge of the path, her arms crossed over her chest as those deep green eyes peered into Beca’s. The girl was shorter than her superior, but the way she puffed out her chest and sneered made Emily think that she had more gall than the woman she was looking for. Chloe had an even hand on her shoulder as if to hold her back or pull her to their shared cabin. The archery instructor lifting perfectly sculpted eyebrows up in discontent.

Emily steeled her nerves and walked forward, cutting across the crowd as a few people mumbled while others stared directly at her. She kept her distance, but not too much, Beca Mitchell shooting her midnight stare her way as if to acknowledge her presence.

“Hey, Em” Chloe offered up warmly, trying to defuse the situation, Aubrey’s own stare had softened a great deal, though, she never let her shoulders drop. “What’s up?”

She wanted words for form, really, she did. But they seemed to stall in her throat. At the crackling sound that she let out, Aubrey straightened her shoulders and turned herself completely towards the camper, knitting her brow. “Em?”

“I don’t want to bother you, it’s just- Jane, my cabin mate, I haven’t seen her all day.”

She knew she was taking it slow, mumbling. Four sets of eyes were on her. The surrounding area had been voided of kids, all of them sneaking liquor in their own cabins. Smoking loose cigarettes that they had hidden in their t-shirts before spraying a thick layer of lavender spray.  

“She usually misses breakfast, but never lunch, or dinner. I’m uh, I’m worried about her.”

“Jane Eide?” Stacie asked, shoving her hands into the pockets of her oversized sweatshirt. “I’ve been working with her. She didn’t show today, though, figured she had fallen asleep.”

“I pulled her from the water the other night,” Beca admitted, “Late. She and two others were out on the lake after dark.”

Aubrey pulled in an easy breath, one that was far too calm for a situation like this, there was an unknown type of fear that was behind her darkened eyes. One that she wouldn’t really admit to, but Emily could see it. She could feel it.

“Right, so no one has seen her since last night?” All silence and blinking eyes. “Emily, did you hear her come in last night?”

“No, I didn’t. Neither did Hayley.”

“Okay. Stacie, you go back to the mess hall with Jesse, search the mess hall and the quad.” Aubrey had a certain stiffness to her voice. “Chloe, Beca. I need you to go to the north building and check the phone log- maybe she phoned home. Emily, follow me.”

No one made a move for a few seconds, just staring at the woman in front of them until she clapped her hands together and snapped everyone out of a haze that felt like a hazy dream. Campers didn’t just vanish. Some would get homesick, sure, but they would call their parents and get picked up begrudgingly. The feeling Emily had seemed to stem within the circle of them and extend- Stacie the first to nod and step away, doing a slight jog towards her station.

Chloe took reign and used the hand still on Beca’s shoulder to drag her towards the building that housed a small desk and the white postal bucket that everyone placed their letters in. There was a phone and a yellow log to write in, hopefully, Jane had.

“Come on,” Aubrey said, and Emily followed like an obedient dog on a short leash. They were walking in one clear direction and Aubrey was moving fast the cold not seeming to get to her, so Emily rolled her shoulders back and forgot about her own chilled bones.

Aubrey pushed past the door to her little cabin, something that looked out over the east side of the lake and was isolated to everyone else. No one dared come this close to a place like this, the place that Aubrey would sit and drink coffee before anyone disturbed her.

Emily didn’t know what to expect, but it looked almost normal: There was a little television that was an obnoxious shade of blue and had rabbit ears stretching to the sky. A nicely made bed and a small table with two chairs on either side of it. There were lights strung up over a floral bedspread. It smelled thickly of lavender, and it pulled Emily in. She struggled to stay against the threshold.

“Here,” Aubrey seemed slightly out of breath, she stretched forward and handed Emily a hard metal flashlight. She had palmed one herself, its silver shell reflecting the fairy lights. “We’re going to check around the lake.”

“Okay,” was all Emily could mumble, the woman pulled open what looked like a closet instead of a dresser. She produced a brown leather bomber jacket that had a fur collar, folded and covered in patches. It looked worn and overwhelmed her with scent as it was tossed in her direction. “I can’t-“

“It’s cold,” Aubrey said tenderly. She was wearing a sweatshirt herself, adjusting the collar as she flicked off the light and pressed herself through the doorway. Emily could feel her heat against her front.

She hurriedly slid it over her shoulders before closing the door and jogging slightly to catch up with Aubrey, she had already flicked her flashlight on. It created a circle of yellow that she swept over the grounds that they walked against, their sneakers loud compared to the silence of the night. Emily couldn’t hear crickets.

Her shoulder would bump against Aubrey’s every couple of steps, and she savored the touch, moving her own beam of light close to the water’s edge. It lapped at the stones and made them look prettier than they really were.

“I lost my hamster once.” Emily finally said timidly.

There was a slight hint of a laugh, or maybe a scoff, that pushed past Aubrey’s lips. Either way,  its splayed against the darkness of the sky in a puff of white. “What?”

“Yeah, when I was six, I had a hamster and he got out of his cage somehow. We couldn’t find him for a couple of days- maybe a week. I don’t remember. I was six. But we finally found him, you know.”

“Where was he?” Aubrey asked, pulling a branch up for the both of them to duck under. It smelled like pine and dropped dead needles at the movement. The lights from the camp were getting smaller as they wandered into the large isolated parts of the perimeter. The lights from the cabins looked like they were put through a funhouse mirror as they reflected off the inky water.

“He was in the television.”

“Your hamster?”

Emily hummed in response, letting her light move against the stretch of trees. They looked scarier at night. “Yeah, in that little part where the speakers usually are. He had chewed through all of them, so at least we knew he didn’t starve. The little guy lived four more years after that… so uh, maybe we’ll find her. You know?”

“Jane is a person, not a rodent.”

“Oh, I know,” Emily’s shoe slid on the closest rock, the sound splaying oddly as Aubrey instinctively reached and clutched onto her arm, keeping her from sliding too much “Thanks. I just don’t think I’ve lost anything else before.”

Aubrey stopped then, her back to the forest as she parted her lips. Emily didn’t know if it had anything to do with her eyes adjusting or the fact that the moon had risen to its fullest point, but it was easier to see. Every part of Aubrey looked milky blue, her lips and eyes darker than the rest of her subtle features. She looked like a siren, playing oddly with the rubber button on her light. Almost like she was nervous.

“I have,” Aubrey said, so softly it was almost muted by the water lapping the shore. “My father he uh, he left when I was fifteen, maybe sixteen? I don’t think we tried too hard to find him but it um, it feels kind of like this. You know?”

“Like someone is holding your heart and just kind of… squeezes it?”

Aubrey let out a long-held onto breath “Yeah, yeah. Like that. Is it getting tighter for you too?”

Emily chewed on her bottom lip. She had to admit, the feeling seemed to melt away around Aubrey. She was a calming presence, an authority figure that she gawked at if anything. Aubrey sniffed, eyes sad in the moonlight as they flicked towards Emily’s mouth. “Yeah, I think so.” It was no more than a whisper.

“Emily…?”

“Yeah, Aubrey?”

The older woman’s hands were cold as she took a fluid step forward, her fingers curling around the back of Emily’ neck as she let the other hand hold tight against the flashlight. Emily had kissed people before, hell, she had done it often and diligently, but this was different. This was soft and Aubrey tasted like a mix of cinnamon and heat. Her nose was cold against her cheek as her touch moved against Emily’s jaw delicately.

Emily pulled away with a sharp breath, leaning her forehead against Aubrey’s. That hand around her heart had released its hold and let it flourish as the blood rushed past her ears. “Whoa.”

“That was-“Aubrey swallowed, her hand dropped her hand down “I’m sorry, I misread the situation, I’m sorry.” She apologized twice in one sentence, wanting to move away completely, but she had found Emily’s hand curled around the collar of her sweatshirt, holding her in place.

“No,” She whispered, “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for you to do that but-“

“It’s not the right time.” Aubrey finished her thought, swallowing roughly. “We need to keep going.”

Emily nodded and eventually dislodged her fingers from the girl's coat, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. They returned to walking in silence, their feet crunching against dried leaves and gravel. She could swear she felt the ghost of a cold hand.  

[basically-an-artist]

Part one of my #nanowrimo entry... Feedback welcome

I had to give myself a second to process what i thought i was seeing. Lamont, my brother, in my living room. His hair had grown alot longer since the last time id seen him. Though, i could tell by the way hed tied his locs that it was him. Messy but functional, and somehow always stylish. For him, though, as with everything, it came naturally.

  He looked magical, bathed in the blue light of the tv; as if there was such a look. He scanned one of the posters on the wall, apparently facinated with world war z.  I wondered how he was able to see them at all with only the pale light from the tvs reflection to distinguish them. In his black trench coat and kangol cap he was out of place amongst the empty beer cans, macbooks, assorted drug paraphernalia, and Harry Potter dvd box set scattered over the floor. It didnt help that he was drenched and dripping water over everything. A puddle collected slowly on the rug beneath him. It wasnt raining outside, though, so i could only guess how he'd been so thouroughly soaked.

Either way, he left a puddle under him as he stood, and by the size of it hed been here a while.

"You arent going to say hello to your brother?"

He didnt even turn around to speak, he kept looking at the pictures and posters lining the walls. I jumped slightly at the sound of him. I hadnt realized hed seen or even heard me;i couldnt even hear my own steps as i walked down the hall. It was a few seconds before i answered, roiling over his last visit before i said anything.

How did he get in? Were on the third floor.

"What are you even doing here dude, i told you i didnt want to see you." My voice fell off at the end. Im sure it gave away at least a peice of my inner monolouge.

Id actually kind of wished hed just show up like this, as he tended to do when he was unwelcomed. I hoped the prompt would give him a reason to apologize for our last meeting, or at least offer an explanation.

He completely ignored what id said.

"You know ive actually seen one of these before," he paused as he pointed at the tv, "What did they call them in the books... dementors?" He shuddered slightly before shaking his head. Now he spoke in a hush, like he was talking to himself, "Those things are not done justice by the movies." He looked away now, another shudder shaking his coattails. Water droplets flying.

"Why are you here? How did you get in?" Silence.

The questions hung in the air. My heartbeat rang in my ears for every second that passed

More silence.

The whole room seemed to breathe with my brother as he sighed. He finally turned to look at me and i froze. Half of me wanted to run to him, but the other half was screaming to jump out the window.

Has face bore the scar of a grotesque burn. As if hed peeked into the nozzle of a flamethrower as it turned on.

his eye underneath the scar looked normal enough. It didnt look misshapen or damaged in any way. But he no longer had an eyelid, top or bottom. His right eye almost cartoonish, exposed, and surrounded by the muddied burgundy of the charred skin in the pale blue light. He kept a straight face as he looked at me, but his eye gave his gaze a manic intensity.i had to stop myself from looking away.

I tried to keep my face as neutral as possible, failing apparantly as he chuckled at me in that way he did. The crooked grin on his face saying more than he'd said in any conversation between us. That smile always held secrets.

"I came back to give you something," he began," a souvenir from my travels." He went back to looking at the posters. Staring at them as if taking in some hidden meaning from their images. He did always seem to see some unseen message in everything. You can always learn more the second time around.

"Where have you been?" My voice gave way again. Again i was just the little brother of the infinitely talented Lamont Caldwell. asking questions i couldnt understand the answers to; trying to follow him on his oh-so mysterious adventures. Hed only been in front of me two minutes and hed sent me back 20 years. Again i was a scared and confused 4 year old.

"Dont worry about it. Everything will make sense soon. I told you a long time ago that i had to leave to really discover what it was i was meant to do. There was a purpose for me outside of what our parents had told us for so long." He crossed the room silently towards me, darkening the the floor in wet muddy footprints along the way. He kept eye contact the whole way, that orb of an eye boring into me."Theres a reason for all of this Marion, and i think ive finally found out what it is."

That eye paralyzed me. I was only aware of it because every muscle in my body wanted to back away, to run to my room and lock the door. It felt like minutes passed between each of his steps, like a dream carrying him to me in slow motion.

Stop stop stopstopstop.

He was inches from me now. Eyes still excavating my soul. As i looked into his, though, i could only see the boundlessness of his darkness. He was still an enigma to me; a shadows shadow. Of all the people id known in my life my brother had known me the best, and yet id never felt as if i truly understood him. Now, though, i felt as if i knew what he was thinking. If only for these few seconds.

Slowly, as if his body questioned his own actions, he wrapped his arms around me. His embrace reminded me of dads hugs. He was strong, but gentle. An embrace filled with the love of a long overdue apology. At least thats how i took it.

I accepted it and hugged him back. We stood that way for ten long heartbeats, the seconds passing lazily. I heard a sniffle and questioned for a second if it was him or me that had started crying, but couldnt turn over the thought before he said so low i almost questioned if hed spoken.

" Dont let our secrets burn you."

I felt my face contort in confusion before he ended the embrace. As i opened my mouth to speak the door to a room behind me opened, the noise startling me as it broke the tense silence.

I jumped and turned to see my roommate billie exiting her room in her hot pink bathrobe. Hair tousled, expression caught between annoyance and confusion. Shed just woken from a satifyingly deep sleep.

" dude. Have you seriously been out here watching harry potter this whole time? I know we said wed watch them all straight through but you had to realize that was a suicide run. Go the fuck to sleep. We both have work tomorrow." She shuffled past me to the kitchen turning on the light and then the faucet.

As she filled a cup with water i scanned the room for my brother. He was gone. His absence left a hole in the room, a void of energy where he should have been, but that could have been me projecting.

Of course.

Just like him to come raising a million questions and leave answering none of them.

How the hell did he get in?

I shook the thought out of my head, only then remembering what id come to the livingroom for in the first place. I began to pick up the room, the aftermath of an attempt at a pre-thanksgiving break movie marathon. It was supposed to be an all nighter. Unfortunately, the mixture of wine intoxication and primo bud had most of the participants passing out in their seats before the third movie started.

I picked up the candy wrappers and swept the loose tobacco into the trash. Only seeing the, clearly out of place, bound leather book when i cleared the pizza boxes from the table. This must have been that souvenir he was talking about.

It was dark brown, almost black, and encircled in thick metal bindings. An archaic iron-looking latch and lock protruded from the front. I wasnt sure how he expected me to open this book or if he expected me to.

I turned it over inspecting it more closely. Even in the dim light i could see the textblock was lined in silver. It glow eerily and reminded me somewhat of a bible.

On the back was a post it note:

Hold on to this. See you soon. -L

I rolled my eyes and tucked the book under my left arm. Its not like i hadnt seen my brother in almost 2 years, at least he gave me a completely useless gift too.

Billie crossed back into her den warning me to not make any loud noises on pain of death, which i obliged. I quickly finished straightening the room and headed back down the hall to my own bed. I tossed the book onto my dresser and collapsed under the weight of the night onto my pillow, not even bothering to cover myself with the comforter. The questions still swirling around my head settled in my skull as sleep took me.

As i drifted into the land of dreams a single thought peeked back through the veil before being silenced by the void of unconciousness.

How the hell did he get in?

[likeadrug-ff]

O N E

L O N D Y N 

Here I am, in the back of my best friends, Kaiden, car with my legs spread wide open. “Kaiden..” Him blowing on my opening make my talking come to halt as I threw my head back. I felt soft wet kisses along my second set of lips and that alone had me letting out low moans.

When I felt like I had enough strength, I pressed my palm against his forehead and managed to get him to lift his head. Kaiden gazed up at me looking high as hell. “Whats up Rose?” I loved when he called me by my middle name and just that fast, I had forgot what I wanted to say. I shook my head and motioned for him to continue.

“Lon! There yall are, oouu..” That was my beautiful, sassy, and hotheaded sister Loryn. She gave Kaiden and I the meanest glare. ”Well thanks for disappearing, had me thinking yall left a bitch for dead.” The fact that my sister really thought I would just leave her high and dry is ridiculous.

She rolled her eyes and walked past us to the car. We followed her without caring to respond and thankful for her not questioning us. Silence filled the car as Kaiden drove us back home. My mind was racing and thinking about millions and one things. “Kaiden can we please stop to get something to eat? Please?” was the last thing I heard before I leaned against the window and closed my eyes.

—

The next morning I woke up with the worst headache. I noticed that it was two pills and a bottle of water on the nightstand and I silently thanked whoever placed them there. Sitting up I threw the pills back and washed them down with the water. I groaned lightly and sluggishly made my way to the bathroom.

I looked myself over in the mirror and shook my head with a wide grin on my face. I dont remember a lot from last night but I do remember the most important memory, getting head from Kaiden for the fist time. Shaking my head, I quickly did my hygiene.

“LoLo?” I heard a soft knock before the door opened. Every one of my sisters had a different nickname for me and vise versa. “You good? I heard yall was white boy wasted last night.” Lolani let out a small giggle and jumped up on the counter. I continued on with my morning routine and moisturized my face. “Please dont remind me.” I rolled my eyes and watched as she raised one brow. “I’ll go into detail later.”

She gave me a small nod and kissed my cheek before jumping down. “Oh yeah, can you cook breakfast please? Mommy went in early.” Our mom works her ass off twice as hard every since our father just up and left us. Said he couldnt afford two sets of twin daughters.

We both walked out the bathroom together and ended up meeting Loryn and Leilani in the kitchen. Loryn and I exchanged looks that made us both burst out into laughter. My cheeks were blushing red. The girls looked on at us like we had lost our damn mind. “Ok ok, spills the beans LoLo.”

“Wait until we’re all sitting down and eating.” I turned to the counter to see that this fat ass hoes had all the food laid out for me. I thank them for that but damn, who in the hell do they think is cooking all of this? Oh, thats right, me. I rolled my eyes at them and went to wash my hands at the sink.

“On a serious note, hows the job search going? Yall know we gotta at least try to help mama out.” I announced when I finally got myself together. About a week ago we had a sit down together as the FabFour, something our mom started calling us as she watched us bond, to start pitching in with the bills. Dont get me wrong my mama make good money but its the least we can do.

“I got a interview at the call center, Sykes. The only bad thing is that they do drug test.” Leilani is a huge pothead. This girl cant go a day without smoking a blunt. “And please dont forget to ask your manager about my application.” “Oh shit, thank you for reminding me. I work tomorrow.”

I sprayed down the pans and placed them on the stove. Cracking the eggs I added in the seasonings while looking over at Lolani. She was the youngest and most sensitive. She was watching me with the biggest smile on her face. “What?” I couldn’t help the smile that rose to my lips. “My professor offered me a job to intern in a pastry shop.”

She was so soft spoken and looked so innocent knowing damn well she wasnt. “I’ll be making good money and its guaranteed that I’ll have an official spot when I graduate college.” I couldn’t be more proud of her. “Thats my girl.” I responded with the same smile on my face.

“The grand opening for my shop is two weeks away.” Loryn chimed in next. She was overly excited about her natural hair shop and of course I couldn’t be more proud of my twin.  She’s been working day and night for this. “I really need yall to be there, it’ll mean the world to me.” Here she goes.

“Why on earth wouldnt we be there? We wouldnt dare miss our sisters big day.” Leilani had to reassure her while Lolani and I nodded in agreement. The smile on Loryns face was bout big as I dont know what.

And as for me, Im a nurse. Looking after older and younger paitents, making sure they’re eating and excersing right. I also work at a retail store called Ollies Bargain Outlet. The managers are a pain in the ass and the coworkers love to kiss ass. I couldnt stand working there but its a job thats paying.

It took me about half an hour to finish breakfast. It looked like I fixed enough for a damn tribe but I mean it when I say that it’ll all be eaten. When we were all sitting down with full plates and our drinks, we looked around for someone to come forward and say prayer. When no one spoke up I sighed and bowed my head.

“Lord,” by this time they follwed my actions. “thank you for this food that we are about to recieve, I ask that you bless and nuture it. In Jesus name I pray, amen.” The repeated after me and no words were said after that. All you could hear was forks hitting plates and smacking here and there. “So, spill the beans.” Damn, I couldnt get anything pass these sisters of mine.

*flashback*

Walking inside the club lastnight with Loryn beside me, I scanned the place for Kaiden and his crew. He asked me to come out and have fun with them and I happily agreed. “You see them?” I leaned into her so she could hear me better.

She scanned around and took my hand leading me towards some stairs. Once Kaiden noticed us he started grinning and met us halfway at the rope. He unlocked it and welcomed us in. “Yall look good.” He bent down to hug us and handed us a shot. I looked at it sceptacal as Loryn took hers to the head.

“Its Vodka.” “Its white.” I fired back. Everybody knows I dont mess with white liquor, only brown. Kaiden tried to roll his eyes in the most manliest way and picked up another shot. “C’mon. I’ll take it wit you Rose.” Counting to three in my head I quickly threw the shot back and screwed my face after it burned my throat.  “It aint even that bad, stop acting.” I flicked him off as we both laughed.

We had to only be here for about twenty minutes and Kaiden had me damn near drunk. He had finally got shots of my liking and I was gladly throwing them back. Loryn had went to the dance floor with Ace, one of Kiadens best homies.

“Just one more shot then we can be done!” I screamed over the music. I handed him a shot and we clung the glasses together before taking it. The seductive music, the lights and shots had me feeling just right. I watched as Kaiden licked over his lips as he placed his our glasses on the counter and turned to look down at me.

I couldnt help the dirty thoughts that came to mind as I gave his face a good overlook. His pink juicy lips. Oh how I would just love to have them around my clit.. “Yo, you aight?” He had his hand on the lower part of my back while looking very concerned.

“Your lips.. I need them wrapped around my clit, like now!” He looked astonished by what came out of my mouth. He started to laugh but when he seen how I serious I was he stopped. “Lets go.” He clamped his hand inside of mine and led me down the stairs and out the of club..

*flashback over*

“You litte floozy!” We all busted out in to laughter. “Did you feel weird after it after happened? Being that he is your best friend.” I played around with the left over food on my plate. “Of course I felt weird. I had to stop him at least three times last night.” My cheeks were right back red.

“Loryn how didnt you know?!” Lolani fired her way, I silently thanked her as she took the attention off of me. “Now just how was I suppose to know? I was too busy grinding all up on Ace fine ass.” I knew she had a thing of him. He was definetly her type. Tall, dark skinned and mean to the world but sweet to her.

“Ahhh both of yall fucking with the homies.” Leilani had this huge grin on her face. Loryn and I were quick to deny it though. “Im not fucking with Kai like that, he only ate me out and that was it. Would I do it again?” I scooted my chair out and gathered my trash as they waited for my answer.

“You damn right!”

K A I D E N  

I had received a text from Londyn around five this evening thanking me for a wonderful night and the medicine. We continued texting for a while before she finally asked me to come over so we could talk face to face. I knew what she wanted to discuss. To be honest I thought she was going to feel some type of way about what happened between us.

I was more shocked at myself. The fact that I gave her head last night was mind blowing. Normally Im the one coming onto the opposite sex but she was in control. Then on top of that I let her get away with just me eating her pussy. Nothing in return.

I agreed to coming over and went to freshen myself up. After getting dressed I grabbed everything I needed and sat in my car rolling a blunt. I was blasting the radio and tucked the blunt away when I was done. Backing out of my driveway I made my way down the street. Driving like a NASCAR driver.  

It felt like a mini road trip driving from my place to hers. But thats what the blunt was for, came in handy. When I pulled up in her driveway I seen that her moms car was parked in the yard. Seems like it just got a fresh wash. I aint even gon’ lie and say that I aint feel like a bitch when I pulled the visor down to check myself out in the mirror. “Fuck wrong witchu Kaiden?” I said aloud to myself.

I shot her a text telling her to come to the door once I finally got my shit together. When I seen the front door open she was standing there in some red booty shorts, almost like the ones in the movie Juno, a snug shirt that showed off her amazing curves and some ugg boots. As I got out the car I couldn’t hold my laugh back. “Whats so funny?” She asked once I finally got close to her. “You live in them boots huh?” I swiftly licked over my lips and looked down at her.

“Fuck you.” We quickly gave each other eye contact and then busted out laughing like some hyenas. “Shit could’ve happened. C’mon.” I motioned for her to her walk up the stairs before me to her room. I was ready to get some shit off my chest and Im pretty sure she wanted to do the same.

I threw myself on her bed and made sure I was comfortable after kicking my shoes off. “So before we really start talking things over, lets not forget about us being best friends first. I dont want anything to fuck up our friendship. Deal?” She was chewing on the corner of her bottom lip. Something she would do faithfully when she was nervous. I kissed my teeth at her.

“I done told you since the day be came best friends that this shit was real for me. I aint neva had no real friends nshit so I wouldnt do shit to jeopardize it, well not on purpose.” And I meant dat shit. The bond that we have is something I cherish. Ion know what the hell I would if Londyn stopped fucking wit me. My heart was lowkey racing now and I was thinking the complete worst.

She was the first person that made me open up when I moved out here. She wouldnt leave me alone at first and after a few months she made me a nigga feel welcome. “Kai? You hear me?”

“My bad, whatchu say again?” By now she had my attention as I seen the now annoyed look on her face. This girl hated repeating herself. “You better pay attention,” she just had to roll them damn eyes. “last night took me by surprise and I wont say that I never thought about it, but I dont think it can happen again.” Oh I was definitely all ears now.

I know my face said everything I was feeling. “Kaiden I just.. Im not what you’re use to. I-I catch feelings, I think about life long term and you’re not ready for that.” I gave her a long stare, right in her eyes. I dont even recall having a girl, let alone letting Londyn meet anyone so fuck she talking bout?

“How do you know what Im use to? Have I ever talked about a bitch to you? Ever met a bitch? Ever told you liked a bitch? And just how da hell you know what Im ready for Lon?” She sat there on hush mode. When she didnt utter a word I continued, “All throughout high school you were the only female I encountered with. I aint even look a bitch way cause I was too hung up on you.”

Her mouth dropped open and when she tried to talk I put my hand up to stop her. “I had to listen to you bitch and moan about niggas trying to fuck wit you and there I was, head over hills for yo ass. I mean, shit I had alot of dreams about us and you had to be drunk for part of my dreams to come true.”

I had to let out a chuckle with that last part. I mean Im glad that I finally got that shit off my chest but now I had to brace myself for the hardest part; hearing her response. She looked taken back, confused, couldn’t stop giving me this look, where she squint her eyes, open her mouth to speak and then close it looking away.

“You could’ve at least told me something Kaiden. Like, it didnt have to happen like this,” Her voice was very soft at the moment. “me drunk and completely in charge and then you.. I dont know. You should’ve said something!” She was letting out angry growls and launched towards me with her fist balled up.

“Chiiill Rose.” I couldn’t contain my laughing. I had a hold on her wrists while she was struggling to get loose. Once we had both calmed down nshit I got my thoughts together. Why didnt I say shit to her? Maybe cause her lil ass was too focused on them niggas that aint really give a shit about her. Or maybe it was ‘cause I aint wanna get rejected by my only friend.  

[twinfanfics]

Taiyamaweek day 16: Trapped

I know i´m two days behind but wherever, like one hundred years ago i made sci-fy Taiyama AU for the DigimonOTP and i never finish it, so here are part number 2, please enjoy. 

Prop: Trapped 

Sumary: Yamato tought a bad brake up was the worst thing that could happen to him in his last year at the star academy, but he was wrong now he must join his brother, his best friend and his exboyfriend in a suicidal mision to an estrange planet.

You can read the first chapter right here 

And the second chapter after the cut! 

It was a long trip, fourteen hours at optimus speed, but the old piece of trash that the commander facilitated  never get to that, it was especially hard for the pilots, after 21 hours of fly booths of them were exhausted, so Yamato complete understand his brother relieve when a tiny little green spot appear on the screen.

“There it is, asteroid 54¡” Takeru yells almost with the voice of a child  “I mean..” he hesitate “we are near to the Target Captain” 

“Excellent!”  Taichi exclaim, and Yamato smile, the captain was as much as tired as the pilots but for a complete different reason, Taichi was  incapable of been quiet, with all certain he was impatient for jump into action, Yamato remember those longs afternoon beside him, the summer sun, the longs campings, the heat of his skin against him, the unfinished fights…

“That's weird” Sora interrupt his thoughts

“What?” He replied, happy to have something else to think about

“According to the info asteroid 54 is a desert planetoid, but our system register an entire ecosystem, is a green planet” she continuos

Taichi approach to the monitor “Are you sure this is the right planetoid?”

“Of course we are sure¡” Hikari yells offended

“ And even if is not”  Koushiro voice sound across the communicator “the transmissions become for this location”

“What do you think Yamato?” Every time Taichi call him by his first name Yamato gets an uncertain feelings, something between the necessity to run and the impulse to punch him on the face.

He knew Taichi was a born lider, he want to follow him, but he also wanna fight about every single ones of his decisions,

“We come ready for a mission on  a desert planet, it would be crazy go into an unknown ecosystem, whatsoever if there is life on asteroid 54 the probability of survival of the crew of Adventure 02 increase, is risky but…” Taichi smile with all his teeths, full of excitement

“ You hear it Mr Takahashi, prepare to arrive¡”

They land over a beautiful landscape, the air was warm and humid, it looks like a colorful  tropical jungle

“Well, we should bring a  botanic expert”  Taichi jokes touching the grand

“Actually…”  Mimi turn to him “i kind of  specialized on foreign  flora”

“I thought you two work on communications” he said

“We get the passanti on communication but  i'm actually tactical expert and Mimi knows about  plants” Sora speak  “but we fail the space test and get stuck on the communication tower since last semester”

“Well,  we are lucky then” Taichi stand up, holding his Captain hat “listen everybody, i'm gonna need all the crew on the bridge right now!”  only in a few minutes Joe and Koushiro arrive “What is the state of Adventure 01 Izzy? , come on, give me good news”

“The principal motor is relatively fine but it couldn't work on maximum capacity, if i could work on it, i could fix it on 6 maybe 5 hours, but i'm gonna need help for the rest of it, it was a rough landing” Hikari and Takeru protest to his comment  “and one of the propulsor get damage”

“It sound like a lot of work”Taichi said coming near to his little sister, the pilots look terrible “I want you to concentrate in the engineer, did you understand? Get the transmissions to the others”

“But… “

“ Nothing¡” He yells  “rest a few hours, eat something and come back to the engineer room, that's an order, if we need to leave this planet i want to have this space garbage ready”

Yamato was impress by Taichi command, usually he tend to be more tender, and not complete serious about anything, the leadership suit him.  

“I Understand Captain” Koushiro grumble and Yamato notice how pleased  was Taichi with his new title

“Takeru and Hikari” Taichi continues “great work you two, now go to your chambers and rest, the explorers would take this mission since here”  They don't even blink and accept the orders “Tachikawa, Kido, Ishida and I'll form the explorer team” he turn to Mimi “ Tachikawa did you think you could track the signal?

“If we link the transmission to the GPS it would work” Sora talks “ but i have more experience that Mimi on the field, i should be the one who…”

“You have tactical training right?” Taichi interrupt and She nod “i don't wanna left our only engineer and ours pilots alone on an unknown planet, you are the  security chief  now, beside i'm sure that Miss Tachikawa knowledge of botanic would be useful on the field”

Yamato didn't believe Sora listen anything after security chief

“Yea.. excuse me Tai”  Joe seems nervous “i mean Captain” He correct,  he wasn´t happy “ did you said that i would be on the explorer team? I'm no prepare for that, im medical support”

“Yes, and if for some miracle we found Davis and the others i bet they would need you more that anyone of us”  Yamato replied before Taichi, knowing exactly what he was thinking, somehow happy that they could still be on the same page

 The team get ready but after an hour and a half of walking it was obvius that Mimmi has no idea how to use the GPS  

“I thought you work on comunication¡” it was almost dusk and Yamato get desperate

Yes!” she yells “ thats mean i know how to answerd a phone this is hight tec¡”

“Take it easy Matt¡” Joe intervene “let me see that” and he took the device from Mimi´s hand “I taught we need to go to the north, up to that mountain”

“Lets move” Taichi insist “we don´t know how many daylight we have”

“Not saying” Mimmi didnt even ask Joe for returning the device “This forest is weird…”

“Is that your Botanic expertis?” Taichi jokes

“Shut up!” she replied “ don't you think is weird that we havent seen any kind of fauna? i mean is only vegetation, too quiet”

Nobody take notes over Mimi commentary and just keep moving, Yamato could see the despair on Taichi moves, if they didn't find anyone all the mission would be for nothing, he would risk  everyone else life for nothing.

The sky turn black when they encounter a clearing on the wood, and in the corner, thank good what its look like an abandon camp.

“That one look like Cody backpack¡” Joe yells and run to it “and Cody´s sword?” the fears was clear on his face when he pick up a broken old wood sword from the ground

“sshhh” Yamato call his attention  “listen…”  

“Davis?”Taichi ask when something move on the darkness , suddenly from behind the grass an anthropomorphic creature emerg, Mimi shout silently, it was green, without eyes, cover entirely with leaves, the only feature recognizable was it big pointing mouth

“Am.. excuse me?” Taichi begins and Yamato give him credit for not run and hide, as them, and inspire by his lider bravery he pull of his gun “Can you understand me? we come from the star institute, ours companions lost on this planet, we believe this was their camp, if you could help us” the captain come  near to the creature when this get signal to understand him.

Mimmi scream again when others creatures emerge behind the first

“We come in peace” Taichi continues and Yamato walk behind him ready to take him away when his courage cross the line of stupidity.

Sora star to think that her new position as security chief was more  a fancy title than an actual position, of course, when the alarm sound and the explorer team come back with the captain cover in blood meanwhile they escape from some hell looking diabolical carnivore human size plants she make her new position to count.

She close up the ship and shoot every single gun to the monsters.

Joe lead then to the medical facility, Yamato get surprise about the calm and diligence of his friend, he was to use to Joe panik that see him in calm was an anomaly, more when he couldn't stop his hands to shake.

“Put him over the table” Joe scream  “Wherever they throw to him is dangerous” he put a pair of gloves and a face mask “I would need to operate”

Yamato was not prepare for that

He was ready to see Taichi command and success, define the authority and break the rules; but not for that, not for see the man he loves open over an operation table.

“Yamato!” his friend call him “Yamato come on!” Joe snap him “I need you to hold him” he said while he took a scalpel, in automatic Yamato obey.

Taichi resist and scream meanwhile Joe extract the bullets from his body

“It´s look organic” the doctor exclaim

“Let me!” Mimmi take them away from him and examine them “ They look like some kind of seeds” she put them into a plastic contender “I would take this to Koushiro in the lab, meaby we could figure something out.

“Very well” Joe remove the gloves and set the monitors on “we need to keep an eye on him…”

He continues his medical speech but Yamato didn't listen, he couldn´t take his eyes from Taichi, the injure on his stomage look bad, his uniform was cover in blood; Yamato renegade of his position.

“Is my fault” Yamato said

“Stop” Joe cut him off “ I know what are you gonna said but he is the one who approach the monster and for the record he is the one who sight all of us into a suicidal mission so..”

“I should protect…”

Taichi star to caught and Joe run to the instruments

“Did you wanna help? joe scold him “whach him to not choke!!” Yamato pick him up

“He is hot!” his skin was burning “i mean.. he has fever!”

“O stars!” Joe run from one side to the medical facility to another “something is blocking the instruments” he hold a bowl with water and a pair of clean towels “help me”

They manage to control the fever still Taichi seems to be in pain, he mumble incoerences and sweat to much.

“Carefully” Yamato whisper when he try to get up “you are gonna get hurt” he hold him “i´m gonna take care of you, you are gonna be fine” he didn't want to let him go “you are gonna be fine” but he must “Captain”

Taichi just nod and smile, Yamato feel his knees weak, just that and he was complete melt it

“Ok, so you just need to change the towels every time they feel warm and dont let him fall sleep until the fever is gone”  the doctor walk near to the door

“What? were you go?”

“I need to wash myself  and honestly i don't wanna be between you two”

“What?¡ no wait!”

Suddenly he was alone with Taichi, semi conscious Taichi, so beautiful goofy smile Taichi

“Thank you” taichi libs barely move and Yamato decide to concentrate in the take care of him

“Don't mention it, Captain” stupid feelings, he must draw a line “I just do my duty”

“Your duty” he repeat almost laughing “You sound a lot  like him cadet”

“Like him?”

Taichi´s eyes move behind his eyelids, and Yamato remember that he must keep him awake

“Captain! Captain!” he yells “I sound like who?”

“Yamato” he shake his head “My god if that man is beautiful”

“I am…” he stop as soon as he realized “You're delusional….”

“not only beautiful” Taichi continues with a grin “I mean he is fine but he is just.. not real, something else, and his voice… “ muscle spasms appear on his left leg, his right arm shake on the air and Yamato prevent him to fall for the bed.

The time stop as always as they hug, Yamato hold his entire body and he marveled of the sensation of his body against him

“I such an idiot…” Taichi cries over his shoulder

“what?”  

“stupid… stupid…” in a quick movement he let himself drop over the bed again “I´m an idiot!”

“No you are not!” Yamato yells, offended by Taichi´s words “You are brave and and.. determined, you are intuitive and perseverance, you excel in everything you do, you.. you…”

That goofy smile again

“You are so kind cadet, i wish… i wish he had been that kind”

“What? why do you mean by that..”

Taichi didn't answer , he was falling asleep, Yamato hurry to change the towels “no, come on… wake up Taichi!” his body was still warm “Captain! Captain!”

His title bring something in him

“I need water…” Yamato obeys and bring the liquid to his lips as carefully as he can “i miss him so much….”

they must not have that conversation, not when Taichi was hurt, not in an alien planet, not in mortal danger

“liar”

Taichi laugh

“I´m not… that was him, he was always the best liar” his breath turn heavier “i disappointed him”

“No.. no.. you never”

“I saw it…” Taichi whisper “every time he look at me, everytime he yell, or shout, everytime he scold me, everytime he kick the wall, he was disappointed, and i was exhausted”

What had he done?

“No! wake up Captain!” Finally he open his eyes

“You look a lot like him”  he was so close  “ but you have prettiest eyes, Yamato eyes were so cold, he tough i was stupid”

“that´s not true”

“You are just saying…”

“No, you are smart, and clever, you are brave and… you are the bravest person i know, you are a true leader,  people follow you, you are, you are the best person i ever know”

“What a beautifuls things you said cadet”  taichi laid over his shoulder “i wish he would said me those things”

Yamato feels his body trembling, he didnt know what to said

“Can i kiss you Captain?” 

[toxic-suga]

92 questions tag!!

tagged by @lz-01 ily im sorry this is late

tagging @themcpoylebrothers @ttaegiis @literally-just-yoongi-trash @pornographicpenguin @a-sprinkle-of-magick

THE LAST:  

1. drink: mountain dew 2. phone call: tried calling the dentist to schedule an appointment but they didnt answer;; 3. text message: a group chat i have with a few of my friends 4. song you listened to: mansae - seventeen 5. time you cried: ...i was reading a bts fic and it broke me

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. dated someone twice: no 7. kissed someone and regretted it: nope 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yeah 10. been depressed: not really 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: no

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14. teal, black, toxic green

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. made new friends: yes 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes 18. found out someone was talking about you: no 19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet changes me im keeping that thats a great answer holy shit 20. found out who your friends are: my life’s not that dramatic keeping that too 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL:

22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all...of them? most of them 23. do you have any pets: a dog called Hope (my hobi), a cat named Shun, and six chickens i’ve unwillingly had foisted upon myself but I named one Joonie (I used to have a kitten named Gloss. He has since been taken by my dads ex-gf) 24. do you want to change your name: i’m too lazy to have it changed (again. i had my last name changed as a kid) 25. what did you do for your last birthday: nothing 26. what time did you wake up: 4pm after taking a nap on the couch 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: watching the new king kong movie 28. name something you can’t wait for: BTS’ new album 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: a few weeks before she died four years ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my motivation 31. what are you listening to right now: healing - seventeen 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i know a few tommys? 33. something that is getting on your nerves: right now how indecisive my friends are about ordering a pizza 34. most visited website: Either this hell site or youtube;; same same x2 38. hair color: brown and mint green 39. long or short hair: like, boy short 40. do you have a crush on someone: no 41. what do you like about yourself: I don’t know. rofl, same here yup 42. piercings: used to have my ears pierced but i let them grow back in  43. blood type: b+ 44. nickname: none 45. relationship status: single 46. zodiac: aries 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: NCIS 49. tattoos: none bc i chickened out of getting my first one 50. right or left handed: right 51. surgery: teratoma tumor 52. piercings you want: helix piercing on my right ear 53. sport: sleeping 55. vacation: japan, most definitely. maybe south korea, but japan’s been a goal for like ten years 56. pair of trainers: vans

MORE GENERAL

57. eating: pizza 58. drinking: dr. pepper 59. i’m about to: jam out to namjoon’s mixtape again 61. waiting for: my friend to stop rapping nicki minaj bc she can’t rap joke 62. want: to finish these two fics i have in the works 63. get married: lololol 64. career: uhhh game design?

WHICH IS BETTER

65. hugs or kisses: i’ve uh. never actually been kissed. so hugs. 66. lips or eyes: eyes 67. shorter or taller: either, but leaning towards taller. even if its barely. 68. older or younger: whichever 70. nice arms or nice stomach: fuck. um. arms? 71. sensitive or loud: uh…are you implying that noisy people can’t be caring and sensitive? i’m gonna keep this 72. hook up or relationship: relationship 73. troublemaker or hesitant: both

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. kissed a stranger: no 75. drank hard liquor: yes 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no 77. turned someone down: yeah but it was more like avoiding them completely 78. sex on the first date: no                                                                           79. broken someone’s heart: no 80. had your heart broken: no 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: yes 83. fallen for a friend: yeah, it sucked hardcore

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. yourself: vaguely. barely. 85. miracles: meh 86. love at first sight: no 87. santa claus: no 88. kiss on the first date: i suppose 89. angels: no

OTHER:

90. current best friend’s name: uh. i will start discourse if i dont put both so. ami and haley. 91. eye color: dark fuckin brown. my mom literally put ‘black’ on my baby book 92. favorite movie: pacific rim