#dave east ff

[vixen-fiction]

I. Let’s Play

FARRAH

I looked out at the beautiful Parisian skyline, I preferred it at night but the afternoon sky was just as beautiful today. I could hear the Keurig in the corner of the room, pouring the hot water and the scent of the coffee soon followed, it was a regular day with my therapist.  Well, I assumed it would be normal. My new therapist at least was just as beautiful as my past one, when she finally walked back in, I simply sat with my legs crossed then offered her a smile. Dr. Andres is a Cancer woman like myself. A mixture of water and also fire with Sagittarius in her chart. Her beautiful green eyes fixed on mine as she sat across from me. Once she cleared her throat and looking at my file, she definitely had so much to say but simply settled on keeping it simple, what she would proceed with next didn’t shock me at all.

“I’ve read your files, your report from your previous specialists…I take it for majority of our session I may see you from a different view and light. I want you to really start from the beginning where you’re most comfortable..it’s really up to you.”

  I examined the large pink diamond that sat proudly on my finger, it glistened whenever the right light hit it. “Most start with asking how I’m feeling, but I like you for being so forward.” I told her before grabbing my bottled water, taking a swig.

“Do you want to begin with discussing a—” paused to read the name, a name that to this day triggers something with me. “Jonathan Torrance Truffaut, a German born millionaire but also he was a sponsor for you and your mother Zeta Baptiste in 2002. Your I-130 application was processed and approved, became permanent residents in 2003. I see later you received citizenship in 2009.. then documented incidents of abuse. Trevor Blake was hospitalized for fractured ribs and a broken arm..a well documented incident that you witnessed.”

The sound of a trigger being pulled and the hammer clicking inside my head could be heard. I clenched my jaw. I had to remember to breathe. I was never good with these uncomfortable conversations even when I was younger, I felt myself in that place again but this time I was in his arms. I felt safe. But life wasn’t always like this, I didn’t feel the reserve I feel now, the emotional freedom…

“Well you told me we could start wherever I felt comfortable, if we’d start there we’d go way way back to the beginning.. if we’d like to address my traumas I’ll just start with my late ex husband.. I think that’s a good place to begin.” That was the last word that I uttered before I let her have her way. As usual, she’s good at that. We’re good at that, a soft chuckle left my lips. That hazel hue in my eyes had appeared and I noticed Dr. Andres was absolutely enamored, nervous.

  “Nice to meet you Dr. Andres.. I’m Zuri.”

“Likewise, I know exactly who you are my dear. Shall we continue?” She scribbled her opening notes.

ZURI

The ultimate stripper and hoe old school anthem Sho Nuff by Tela featuring 8Ball & MJG blasted through the club speakers. Tonight was the night real money could be made if you had the power to finesse these niggas. I watched as money fell on dancers and of course the bartenders, I was caught reminiscing my days twirling the pole. It was then I had felt his eyes on me from across the room. For awhile now, this stranger had been watching me. It wasn’t anything new to me, I had grown used to a man eyeing me and looking at me like a piece of meat. Los Angeles was a city where I learned to sniff out a trick, a creep and a freak.

  The easiest targets.

Playhouse Hollywood, the lavish nightclub where I worked had attracted all kinds of potential clientele and the desperate ducks in the city. I had just served a majority of my regulars for the night so now it was time to scope the scene and mingle for a few moments. When I ventured out further through the club, that's when I noticed him. His eyes on me and my frame made me put a little pep in my strut. I smirked over at my best friend Lex, her eyes shifted to the baller that I was walking toward. I could only imagine her inner laughter. Once I had walked over to his table in the VIP section it appears that he had his mind made up on wanting more than bottle service.

  “I just need one night of your time beautiful. One night.” He stated smirked at me. He took a hold of my hand once I sat the bottles of Hennessy and Don Julio on the table.

  “Mmm, my policy is I can’t mingle with clients or customers from work. It’s bad for business and it can be dangerous.” I replied with a chuckle. He remained persistent and even after servicing him, he still was fighting for my attention amongst my regular or new customers. I couldn't be irritated at all considering he gave me a large tip out that covered me even when I had to pay the club’s portion. As the night went on, the club became packed for a Thursday. The liquor in my system mixing with my desire and the drugs now had me craving my usual fix. A good ass orgasm, some bomb dick or pussy was something to really end my night right. I was floating on cloud nine and the shift went by just as fast as it came. The club closed its doors at 2 a.m. so I sat in the locker room waiting on Lex whilst securing my much needed dick appointment.

  “Oh Eric baby, I need you to come through.” I purred on the phone as I played with a strand of my hair.

“Yes mam. Anything for you Z, you need anything?” He replied.

  “No boo, just you.” I said in a seductive tone, licking over my lips. Lex walked into the locker room with her duffle bags in hand before she set them down. She rushed to change out of her work attire to put on her jogger set. She glanced over at me on the phone before smirking.

  “Bitch come on!  Haas at the studio and he coming over tonight.” Lex teased as she collected her belongings to head for the door.“That whore ass nigga can wait, tell him to wait.” I retorted as I packed my bags, grabbing my duffles that was somewhat stuffed with money.

  Once I ended my phone call with Eric, I laughed then smirked at her as I gathered my duffles. This was our nightly routine after work, I would walk my best friend to her car then that was when my night would truly begin. I patiently waited for Lex to start her car and soon after I proceeded to walk toward my Benz. There was that feeling again that someone was watching me, their eyes undressing me. My skin had goosebumps forming and it gave me a bad vibe. I peeked out of my peripheral vision and tucked my hair behind my ear to see Mr. VIP from earlier that evening was outside this entire time observing us. Fuck that. I immediately thought as my hand slipped in my purse. When I pushed the remote to start my car he was already closer behind me.

“Yo excuse me..” he called.

My nostrils flared with irritation and once I was at my car door, I turned around tilting my head. “Yes?”

  “Is it too much to ask to have just your number?” He questioned.

“It is.. because I told you my policy. I don’t care who you are.” I flipped my hair over my shoulder and opened the door before I felt him gripping my wrist tightly.

 I didn’t hesitate to let him meet  the barrel of my 9mm. He let go of my wrist and raised his hands in obvious surrender.

  “Now.. no means fucking no right?! What have we learned.” I lowered the gun to his chest then moved toward his groin. “I could shoot you right the fuck now and no one would ever know the wiser because it definitely look like you’re attacking me. Fuck off.”

  “You dangerous baby girl, shit a man would be lucky to have you.” He replied as he backed away.

“You have no idea.”

  A devilish little smirk curled on my lips as I got inside my car. I peeled off from the parking lot to rush home. Bitch nigga made me late for my fucking appointment.

HASAN “HAAS”

My eyes were closed as the liquor and weed invaded my system. My arousal was at its peak as I bobbed my head to the music blasting through the studio as it reached the back lounge.  I opened my eyes, scrolling through my phone as I puffed on my blunt, occasionally I’d make eye contact with Lex as she worked her mouth to devour my length. Her lips feeling amazing as she curled them to work my inches, licking over my lips I diverted my eyes back to my phone seeing a picture of Lex home girl. I never paid much attention to her other than when she’d serve a drink or give me a dirty look.

  Shorty was bad.

  The tattoos on her ass, her curves, in my mind she definitely peaked my interest already. I made a mental note and concentrated on busting my nut. When Lex bobbed her head forward I gripped the back of her head to hold her head there, a groan leaving my lips as I felt my dick twitching inside her throat.

“Fuck..” I unleashed a loud raspy groan as my load spilled into her mouth and in the back of her throat.

When Lex cleaned up her mess she stood up to try to take off her clothes, I looked at her with a chuckle.

  “What you taking your clothes off for? I gotta get back to work.”

“Haas... what bitch you fucking that I can’t get dick no more?” Lex frowned and her entire expression changed.

  “Aye yo! Don’t start that stupid shit tonight..” I sparked my blunt as I pulled my pants up, grabbing my hoodie.

  Lex stood up and threw her high heel at me, rushing over to punch me in my back before I grabbed her quickly by her neck to squeeze it roughly, hearing her struggle for air was making my dick hard.

  “Put your hands on me again it’ll be the last fucking time you do, bitch.” She loved provoking the other side of me.

When I finally let her go, she scrambled to get dressed then quickly left out of the lounge. I chuckled darkly then shook my head as I puffed on my blunt.

 Black was in the hall as he gave me a look as he dapped me up.

“Want me to go get her Haze?” Black chuckled.

“Nah let the bitch think about what she tried to do. Let’s get this work in so I can take my ass home.”

  “Aight bro.” Black said as he followed me back into the studio.

  Fuck her.

  It was time to get this money and time to get focused. I sent Rae a text message advising her I’d be at her crib tonight to finish what Lex started. Bitches really don’t know they giving up they position. I’m the wrong nigga to try to get over on. I sat at the mixing board with my mind roaming to that girl. It’s how she stared at me, that gaze alone made my dick hard. Her whole demeanor changed. It went from sweet to like she wanted to cut a nigga dick off. I needed some of that so I immediately went to Twitter to send a DM, letting the magic work. These hoes always replied. It just be a matter of time or a question of fact.

ZURI “Mmm.. fuck...yes!” I was struggling to hold back my orgasm as the drugs in my system had my clit throbbing, my eyes crossed just from how good he was eating my pussy. Every lick, the twirl of his tongue I could feel and hear which only made my pearl swell. I did my best to keep my moans low because my roommate Ziya could hear me on the other side of the walls even with music playing. My eyes rolled back, that familiar feeling, my ultimate climax was hitting me as my head tilted back and my toes pointed to the ceiling then balling up immediately.

  “SHIT!” I groaned in ecstasy, palming the  back of Eric’s head I rode his tongue. My hips moved in the same motion—up and down until finally that wave hit me. I saw that face again in my mind and I squirt. I gave him a good christening to the point he could have drowned, baptized him in the most nasty way. I was trying to catch my breath as he came up for air, wiping his hand down his face.

“You cum harder every time, did you miss me?” He asked in his English accent. “I have a bigger allowance for you this time.”

  “Maybe so.” I looked over at his glowing blue orbs, blowing a kiss before lighting another blunt. Inhaling the smoke I simply scrolled through my phone to see a DM from Hasan. I rolled my eyes and ignored the message, I’m sure he’d get the hint I didn’t fuck with him for real.

“Six grand. That covers your rent I’ll be paying you a visit at the club for more.”

 Eric reached over to spank my ass where my rose tattoo was, leaving down to kiss the back of my neck. It was the thought of him handing that money alone that had my pussy wet all over again. “I’d like to take you on a date again.”

  “I’m getting ready for school love but we can set it up, later.” I climbed out of bed and grabbed my robe, walking him out through the living room. I heard Ziya opening her bedroom door as I hugged Eric and telling him goodnight.

Upon shutting the door and turning on my heels, I locked the door then flashed a mischievous little smile. I wasn’t done having my fun just yet.

[pakoraho]

Sage’s HEEL

EXCLUSIVE ACCESS | Meet the Cast

SYLEST & HAWTHORNE AMADEUS spotted leaving TRUST in Downtown Detroit

[wontonsoupho]

THEN GOD

MADE THEM BLUE

© Artist the Author

FIRST QUARTER | ‘PANDORA’S PALACE’

“Ever since you came back to Macabre it’s like PANDORA broke loose up in this PALACE!”

PANDORA’S BOX can be described as an item that conceals every evil one could possibly think of. Mythologically speaking , it was a container or jar to be exact given to Pandora for her to keep safe and protect. But when Prometheus — her husband — stole fire from heaven he was punished by Zeus losing her and the ‘box’ to his brother Epimetheus. As the story goes on , we’ve all heard the infamous excerpt about her curiosity being the spawn for unleashing the chaos and havoc trapped in the special confinement. It’s also been rumored that Zeus sent Pandora with the jar to Epimetheus with the knowledge that she’d likely open it’s lid and release total and utter mayhem. Some spiritualist believe that it’s somewhat parallel to the tale of Adam and Eve , where the box takes place of The Tree of Life. ‘Til this very day in modern times , the idiom is used as a forewarning statement when a person sets into a course of action that could intend a series of unforeseen chaotic events , or a disastrous butterfly effect. The infamous myth can additionally be utilized to represent the weakness humans have to temptation of commodities known and unknown.

“BODIES are DROPPING , WOMEN are coming up MISSING…what the fuck is goin’ on in our city man?!”

THE MACABRE

CONSPIRACIES

LOOK|BOOK

“I'm telling you SHIT IS DIFFERENT OUT HERE Angelou. This ain't no SAME OLE MACABRE.”

…DID YOU HEAR WHAT HAPPENED THIS WEEK ON THEN GOD MADE THEM BLUE ?

PILOT | WHEN THE LEVEES BREAK

CHARACTER BREAKDOWN

SYNOPSIS

MASTER | LIST

TAG | LIST

[sushiwrote]

¥. 1 NEW UPLOAD . ❘❘ ❙❘❚❘❙ ★   SYNOPSIS ❜ ℗   LOADING !██████ 50 % ❛ you can lie to me baby, tell me that i'm special.

they say in life, you reap what you sow... and sowing his wild oats is something desire kingsley has done very well for the last four years.

little is known about his past, but he has built quite the reputation for his magnetic charm, irresistible allure, and numerous hookups. the man, who is somewhat of a myth, has spent the last four years indulging in the pleasures that fame and fortune can offer.

as a renowned film production manager, his work ventures often take him all over the world.

his latest project, 'nothing to lose,' an action film with his best friend, superstar actor chase wilson cast as the leading male, has brought him to the vibrant yet mysterious city of lagos, nigeria, where his insatiable appetite for women and proactive fun leads him right to akua ( ah KOO uh ) adefolahan , an enticing stripper who happens to be the daughter of a powerful black axe mobster and has a more than interesting crew of friends.

the black axe, known for their ruthless control over parts of the city, is a secretive and tightly-knit brotherhood involved in various illegal activities, from extortion to smuggling. their influence runs deep, and crossing them can have deadly consequences.

unaware of the full extent of the danger he's stepping into, desire finds himself drawn into akua's world, where loyalty is everything and betrayal is met with swift retribution.

as desire's relationship with akua deepens, he inadvertently becomes entangled in the mob's affairs, making him a potential target for both the law and rival factions. the carefree lifestyle he's used to living is suddenly under threat as he navigates the murky waters of lagos's criminal underworld.

what started as a casual fling now holds the potential to unravel not just his career, but his life. when he stepped on african soil, he wasn't looking for love, but what he found was something far more dangerous.

in africa, there's a proverb as old as time. it goes, ' he who digs a grave for his enemy might as well be digging one for himself too. '

... ♡  𝙶𝙴𝙽𝚁𝙴: 𝚁𝙾𝙼𝙰𝙽𝚃𝙸𝙲 𝚃𝙷𝚁𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙴𝚁  ⠀─ 𝐜𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐨𝐜  𝐱  𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬 !

⠀ 困⠀⠀ ۪ 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝄒 ⸝. when desire meets danger ...

50%  LOADED...  ██████████  RETRIEVING DATA !

✷ SCANNING . . ❘❘ ❙❘❚❘❙ for sol : TRIGGERS / DISCLAIMERS ! ❜ ℗

this story is intended for mature audiences only. it contains themes and content that may not be suitable for all readers. please review the following trigger warnings before engaging:

i. drug use/addiction , ii. graphic descriptions of violence , iii. crime/organized crime , iv. sexual content/sex for hire , v. death/murder , vi. betrayal , vii. manipulation/blackmail and or coercion , viii. explicit language , ix. adult themes , x. human torture , xi. psychological trauma / mental illness and more triggers may be mentioned.

in this book, you will encounter a blend of nigerian pidgin and english. nigerian pidgin is a widely spoken creole language in nigeria, and is being used in this narrative to bring authenticity, and a unique aspect to this body of work as it aligns with the cultural settings of lagos and its people.

any pidgin use will come with a definition/meaning for your understanding throughout the story.

𝖔. 1 NEW 𝚂𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝚆𝚁𝙾𝚃𝙴 UPLOAD . . ❘❘ ❙❘❚❘❙ ★ CHAPTERS ! ❜ ██████ 75% LOADED — “ there is strength in unity, and power in silence. under God’s watch, lagos is ours. “ 𝒃𝒍𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒙𝒆 _

THE STORY: 000 / 001 / 002 / 003 / 004 / 005 / TBA.

[dwestfieldblog]

CTHONIC ATTACK

Well, Yevgeny sleeps with the Mr Evil/Uncle Fester angels now eh? (Nice that his boys will have a safe harbour in Belorussia, delicate mercenaries need a place in which to recuperate after killing women, children, noncombatants and torturing fictitious enemies.) His people released a statement saying the crash with one wing was caused by ‘traitors of Russia’. (Can’t blame the FSB for doing what they are told, and jolly decent of them to time the explosion over some fields.) The Wagner troll factory, as ordered by the Kremlin Gremlin have already pumped out faecal nuggets that the West planted the bomb/s.

Funny just how many leaders (political or religious) of countries these days are endlessly betraying their people in the name of impure self-interest and calling it patriotism. One more time yet once again… ‘Patriotism is the last rock to which a scoundrel clings’. Comrade Trump et al. Name the shameless in your heads, East and West. Look into their eyes and see their corrupted hearts, withdraw all your energy from them and feed your lifeforce.

The ugly mug shot of the orange Reptilian one… sure he wanted to look defiant but ended up looking like a smacked and sullen child denied his wish. (The moment when an adult knows one smack won’t cut the mustard and the kid will need far more.) And usually, the cops tell you to stand straight, how was such glowering beneath a dyed fringe allowed? The petulant ex-president is using the photo as a rallying (baby man-child) cry for extra funding from morons, outside forces and traitors…as a poster, it aint exactly Che Guevara eh? And yet, so far, has got 1.7million dollars. FFS. Horrific to read how many still support his nomination, some serious mental disease over there. (Says Dave in England). Lock him and his cohorts up or get them all on a plane to St Petersburg.

‘The possibility that empathy resides in parts of the brain so ancient that we share them with rats should give pause to anyone comparing politicians with those poor, underestimated creatures’. Frans de Waal. Pause or paws?

X marks the pus-filled spot…Nice endorsement for Elon from the Talibananna’s ‘Thought Leader’ Anas Haqqani who likes Twitter because of ‘the freedom of speech’. Erm…God is great isn’t he? Jesus saves but Shiva destroys. Boys…

The Edinburgh Fringe Festival, established in 1947…shows comedians mainly - the last intelligent group (other than most scientists perhaps) left speaking truth to power. However, the blind - to - irony for using the title ‘Woke’ sleepwalkers honk on about diversity and inclusivity and then refuse a platform for any who disagree with them…So, diverse and inclusive up to a point.  Graham Linehan, an excellent writer of comedy was banned from performing, among others, for calling it as it is (or very much seems to be) vis a vis the gender debate.

Left and Right pointing fingers and accusing the other side of cancelling culture when both are equally guilty of closing down free speech from any with which they disagree. That said, I will hereby admit, without shame that I also, on insanely rare occasions, have been less than innocent of the Great British double standards. E.g., taking part in the early nineties in my second demonstration, to stop Holocaust denying ‘historian’ David Irving from giving a speech. In spite of my beliefs, I would try and close him down again. When someone’s twisted rhetoric encourages a deranged and dangerous mob, they need to be shut off and right out. Hello Donald, Putin’s useful idiot.

But I digress…Back to the modern nightmare of abused language.

‘People who identify as men can, and do become pregnant and give birth, if they possess a uterus and ovaries’ Medical News Today. That’s a BIG ‘if’.

‘Having a period is not a feminine thing, and people of all genders menstruate, including non-binary people, agender people and even plenty of men! Menstruation doesn’t change anything about your body, it’s just a thing that some bodies do.’ Transhub.org. Read this a couple of times, let it all sink in. They also talk about a ‘front hole’, as presumably those members of homo ‘sapiens’ with an XX chromosome reading this blurb do not know the difficult word vagina. And in first place comes…

‘My body is not female. My menstruation is not female. It just is. My body just is.’ Wiley Reading’s Everyday Feminism. This smacks a little of denial rather than Zen acceptance. Someday, coming soon to a western country near you, the words ‘HuMAN’ and MENstruation will become Huperson and Personstruation… Is this an evolution?

Seems like another twisted circular path of time wasting while the world gratefully allows us to die en masse. However, of course I think people should certainly be allowed to choose their own sex if they are sure they have the wrong body. Just don’t start kids on hormone treatment and gender brainwashing so early. (Although the latter is always started in normal (HA) families with pink dollies, prams and action men and guns.) Many children play dress up and at puberty are confused as feelings shift around, so just let them until a definite knowledge has come. I remain suspicious of any who eagerly bid the mentally weak (either from lack of life experience or poor education) to come join their happy crowd and be just like them. As someone would say, ‘Sorry, not sorry’. The force goes into the flow…

Meanwhile, naughty muons are misbehaving (according to outdated theories in sub atomic physics) and there may very well be a fifth force of nature. (Mystics and neuronauts have spoken about this with shinning eyes for centuries but it takes a little longer for provable science to catch up.) That’s what happens when you accelerate particles at approximately 1000 times the speed of light and things wobble faster than current (ha) laws say they should. Watch this ‘g minus two (g-2)’ experimental space for further quantum details. Superconductors should be being used for limitless and clean energy. Why aren’t they?

Doctor and consultant strikes...Christ, has golf club membership gone up so much?  A good income in 2023 is recorded as being 50 thousand pounds…but a basic starter for a consultant is 93 up to 134 thousand. One yacht is never enough. A global Pharmageddon where pills are heavily prescribed by doctors mostly to keep their quotas and freebies from the companies up, rather than being essential to the patient. In 2016 an investigation asserted that drug companies hand over 40 million pounds in the UK alone to healthcare professionals. Many of these pills cause side effects which are then treated by further pills…which cause side effects. Nice money if you can get it and the guinea pig pharmers and dodgy doctors certainly can. Always worth checking the ABPI database to see who is friendly with whom. So why not stop being a hypochondriac and become more paranoid instead…there are pills for that.

Fast scan of random headlines…’Species of ancient viruses resurfacing as ice caps melt…Time travelling pathogens’. ‘New Covid strain rising’…Enough.

Some family and human stuff now…my grandad used to tell granny ‘Nectar and ambrosia’ after every meal and mean it. Vanilla, lavender, peaches and cloves are the world’s favourite smells. I like warm skin with drop of fresh sweat. I love fireworks, bubbles blown and floating in the air, mown grass, dug earth, honest smiles, females and friends. But music over everything else, forever.

My ancestors for a few hundred years were all teachers, priests and medical staff, so now I am past middle aged, this black sheep is really starting to feel like the weakest link on both sides, let alone being last of our lines. Crippling sadness that I never played guitar for mum. Still finding messages written by her for me all over the house. A packet of titanium scissors in the kitchen saying ‘Guaranteed to last for 25 years’ Mum wrote next to it ‘Over to you David’.

Crushed by guilt, heart feels like a dry prune and I hardly breathe unless I need to cough. No, I’m not second hand, but pre loved and fit for the hospice charity shop. That is as far as my light entertainment/black humour goes these days.

Opportunities to do more, more of the right thing, to be gentler, more understanding, more patient. Lost, and then forever too late. Permanent. Thought I could repair and ease her into balance, to be strong enough for the operation or the end. Failed in the most important work of my life, not possible to cry enough when the memories fall and time does not heal guilt.

Only two could forgive me, one is gone and I cannot. Utterly undeserving to be redeemed. No, I don’t want to join a group on Zoom and talk about it, talking makes the mind relive and recreate the same stress chemicals on a poisoning loop. Writing and printing it out on a page has more use for me. But no forgiveness. Arguing for my own limitations again.

As a cheery sidenote, although most men (with guns who wish to kill themselves) shoot themselves in the head, women tend to shoot themselves in the heart. Fascinating. Ask your doctor if suicide is good for you, a problem focused strategy. I don’t have a gun anymore but I am drinking every night as I have been almost every night for the last 25 years. Bacchus hath drowned more men than Neptune. Here’s to me and good health, eh? Cheers…

Still sitting in the morning in what a conceited auctioneer described as a late Georgian chair to write at a turn of the century polished mahogany card table. The armchair general and couch potato pundit, hunched over the keyboard, heavy with the albatross of ego, winging it all my life. Wonderful, the mixed metaphor in the labyrinth again. Many years ago, I wrote a song called You Get What You Are. This seems scarier day by day as the layers peel away.

‘Nowadays the LSD trippers know what the magicians, the pagans and the yogis always knew: the personality is the only part of us that does not survive death.’ The mask does not continue, it cannot. Nowhere to hide in the Light.

‘The nervous system is the instrument which reads all other instruments’. ‘All perceptions are neither the observer nor the observed; they are the representations of the relation between them’. We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.’ Wilson, Crowley and Nin.

And the result of subtracting the universe from itself is… (and here/now/ nowhere, the presenter opens the envelope to wild applause as everything vanishes and reappears in total silence.) I am trying with moderate but inevitable success to subtract my Self from the universe. Follow the Love…

[monsterfanfic]

Heyyyyy yalllll…

I'm not sure how many people are still reading on Tumblr......

But anyways chyyyy, I wrote this Dave East short story and I want to share it with an audience. Just get some feedback and see if anyone likes it as much as me. It is on Wattpad too.

But I need an audience...anybody still on here reading??

[likeadrug-fanfic]

T H R E E : T W O

K A I D E N 

I had just found a parking space when my brother shot me a text. Looking over I replied in my head and proceeded to park before getting out and making my way inside the airport. I was more than geeked about having my baby brother here with me. He was just like me, hotheaded, horrible attitude and a nasty mouth with no filter. 

I looked around for a good minute but then I saw that damn beard. My phone went off again and I could see him getting frustrated. “Yo Karter!” His head snapped back so fast I thought the shit was gon’ break off. “MY NIGGA!” We exclaimed together as we dapped and pulled each other in for a hug. 

I stepped back and crossed my arms observing him. “Bruh you done grew the fuck up on me.” He stroked his beard cheesing. “Shit it has been a while since we’ve seen each other,” I felt bad about that shit. “but fuck it. Im just stoked to be here man. I missed you.” He dapped me again laughing. I grabbed one of his suitcases and led the way out. 

Packing his shit in the trunk, we got in and you know I had to roll a fat wood. “Still in that shit huh?” I sighed and shook my head. “Not for long.” That was one thing he hated the most. Best believe he’s a pothead but dealing? You can kiss that goodbye. Soon as I mentioned something about it he turned and walked away from me. 

He would try and be funny sometimes paying me when he wanted weed but of course I slipped the shit back to him. Thats my bro so he always get free shit. “Londyn finally gave me chance.” I spoke out hoping to shift the topic and mood. “No shit! You bagged the baddest in the city. I follow her on instagram nshit and boooooy! She still fine.” 

My face flattened as I sealed the wood and mugged his ass. “Shut the fuck up nigga.” He held his hands up in surrender and leaned his seat back. I backed out of the parking space and lit the wood. “But it happened on some wild shit. Some drunk shit actually,” he chuckled, “took her on a nice little date nshit.” I puffed on the blunt before passing.

“Its shocking but not really ‘cause it was bound to happen. Everybody knew yall was gon’ end up together sooner than later.” He shrugged taking a hit. He did have a point though. When I say everybody and their mama knew, I meant that. “Oh shit before I forget, we going out tonight for her sisters shop opening. So I hope you’on got plans.” Karter scrunched his face. “Nigga what plans would I have?” I busted out laughing and snatched my blunt from him. 

L O L A N I 

I groaned and pushed my head into the pillow as loud music blared through the house. “Get the fuck up! Get ready!” I popped up and seen Loryn standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips. “You over slept Lani.” She walked over to my closet and placed my makeup box on the vanity. “Oh shit. I wanted to flat iron my hair.”

I sat at the edge of the bed. I still had to find something to wear. “You look beautiful with curly hair. Chop chop! Lets move.” She walked out closing the door behind her. I really didnt mean to over sleep but shit I was tired. After my bubble bath I smoked a blunt and watched movies on Netflix until I fell asleep.

I was still distraught about earlier today. I felt so stupid for wanting to text Omari. I wanted answers but then again I didnt. Shaking it off, I went to the closet and picked through my clothes. I could either go classy or simple but still fashionable. I decided on simple.

Once I got dressed I brushed my teeth then started on this lion mane of mine. All I had to was wet it a little and apply moisturizer. I needed my curls to pop tonight. Checking myself out in the mirror I blew a kiss then turned out the light before returning to the closet. “Have you heard from mama?” Loryn busted in my room once again. “No. Call her.” I said in duh tone. “You call her.”

She rolled her eyes and sat on my bed. “You look cute by the way.” I waved her off and continued to dial my mom. When she answered she said, “yes Lani? Make it quick.” I placed her on speaker phone and handed the phone to Loryn. “Ma? You cant miss this night. I need you there!” She expressed. “MA! You hear you?”

“I hear you baby. Oh shit, Im on the way home now.” You could her rushing off to somewhere and slamming a door closed. “Im grabbing my things now and leaving. I wont miss it. I promise.” She said her goodbyes and explained to someone what was going on. Lordyn didnt hang up until she heard the car start up. “Shes gonna miss it.” She whispered looking like she wanted to cry.

“Stay positive. Let go get a drink.” I grabbed her hand and dragged her to the kitchen yelling out for my other two sister. “C’mon girls!” Londyn and Leilani walked into the kitchen looking fly as fuck. I swear my mama made some fine ass twins. I took the bottle of Hennessy out the freezer and grabbed some shit glasses.

I poured shots for us and motioned for them to pick one. “I just wanna toast to my bad ass sissy Loryn. I couldn’t be more proud of you!” We clinked our glasses together chanting, “congrats suh!” before throwing the shot back. I heard the door open and my mom walked in. “Oh fuck im late.” My sisters and I fell out laughing. She threw her purse and bag on the couch shrugging her jacket off. “Ima throw something on then join in.”

I got another glass and poured us another shot. We waited for my mom to come out, and five minutes later she came out looking flawless as always. “Ok Ok,” my mom grabbed her glass and looked over at Loryn. “to my precious Ruby, Im more than proud to be your mother. Im more than proud about you opening up your own business. I pray for positive vibes and many more blessings to come your way.”

She raised her glass and we followed. “Mommy loves you baby.” We clung glasses again and down the liquor. “Kaiden is here. Lets roll.” Londyn announced and I instantly got nervous. We grabbed everything we needed before leaving out and locking the house. “Hey mama Loraine.” Kaiden, who had flowers in his hands, walked up to her giving her hug and kissing her cheek. “And congrats to the Ms. Loryn.” He handed her the flowers and kissed her forehead.

“Wassup Lei, Lil Lo?” Kaiden proceeded to kiss our foreheads leaving Londyn for last. He wrapped her in a bear hug placing a fat kiss on her lips. “This my lil brotha Karter, Kater this is Mama Loraine and the the twins.” He did a quick introduction. I was definitely checking out Karter. His beard. Those lips. Thats damn smile! Calm down Lani.. I coached myself.

“Yall look beautiful,” he complimented once he took his attention off of Londyn. “whats the riding plans?” He continued. “I’ll drive. And mama and the twins can ride with me.” Loryn spoke up. Kaiden looked back at me. “Wanna ride wit us Lil Lo?” I looked around before nodding my head. Londyn squinted her eyes and walked to the car.

“Follow me Kaiden.” “Already.” We parted ways and hopped in the car. “What you call yourself doing Kai?” He cocked his head to the side and cranked the car. “Fuck you talkin bout princess?” We had to wait for Loryn to back out of the driveway before we could move. As always, Kaiden pulled out a wood that was already rolled. “Ima wait til mama and them pass to light it.” He looked at me and Karter in the backseat.

“You know exactly what Im talking about. Dont play stupid.” She looked back at us and squinted her eyes again. “Girl mind ya business.” Kaiden turned her around and took off behind Loryn.

Not even thirty minutes later, we pulled to Loryns shop, Naturals. She had her own lot and plenty of space for clients. There was close to a hundred people waiting outside. I was shocked. Kaiden cut the engine and we got out at the same time. As we got closer to the door Loryn got teary eyed. “Wow! First and foremost, thank you all for coming out and celebrating with me. Im beyond grateful.” Everyone cheered clapping their hands.

“I would like to thank my family for motivating me and keeping me focused. Next, much much love to my wonderful working staff. Im more than excited for yall to see everything so, lets get it!” She slapped her hands together smiling hard and taking a pair of scissors. I watched on, with my cheeks damn near hurting and tears in my eyes, as Loryn cut the rope. “YES LORYN!” I yelled out clapping and whooping! Soon after everyone else joined in. 

L O R Y N

“Welcome to Naturals.” I hugged and welcomed everyone in. I was amazed by the crowd and was filled with joy. I couldn’t do anything but thank the Lord. My shop came out looking beautiful. Each hair dresser had their own personal space. I sat the flowers Kaiden got me on the receptionist desk and walked around. 

Seeing everyone smiling and enjoying their selves made my heart smile. “Congratulations beautiful.” Turning around I came face to face with Ace. “What are you doing here?” I haven’t heard from him in a while and now he decided to pop up. “I couldnt miss my girls day.” I leaned my head to the side and started to walk away. But then I thought, what good would that do? Knowing I was gonna end up in his bed later on. 

“Now Im your girl? I havent seen or heard from you in weeks. Whats that about?” I placed one hand on my hip and looked up at him. Ace sighed and stepped closer to me. “I had a drop to make out of town. Came back this morning and been resting up since then.” His hands were in his pockets. “And you couldnt let me know that?”

“So you could come up with every reason in the book to keep me from going?” He fired back. I had to give him that so I stayed quiet. “I gotta lil gift for you. You’ll get it later on tonight. “ He leaned down, kissed my lips and made his way over to my mom to greet her. I swear I couldn’t stand him at times but he made me happy. Looking around again, I stopped when I seen Lolani and Kaidens brother chalking it up the bar. 

He had to be saying some funny shit ‘cause she was smiling and laughing hard. Fuck they got going on? Deciding to leave it alone and ask later, I spotted Leilani and Londyn with Kaiden right behind her. “Hey yall.” I laughed a little approaching them. “Im loving the shop, its so spacious and classy.” I loved my twin. 

“I love the colors. I even took this bomb ass picture in the bathroom.” Leilani showed me the picture and I instantly gassed her. “You so fuckin fine.” One of the caterers walked around us a glass of champagne. “Congrats again sus!” I could get use to hearing that. 

—-

It was close to midnight when my guest left. I cleaned up with the help of my family, which only took half an hour. “Thank yall again, I cant express how much I love yall.” I handed my mom the keys and told her that I was riding home with Ace. She kissed my cheek and led them out the shop. “Im proud of you.” My dimples sunk in as my I looked down smiling. “Ready for ya gift?”

“More than ready.” I grabbed my belongings, grabbed his hand and waked out locking up behind us. He opened the car door for me and then made his way to driver seat. One settled into the car he reached in the back and pulled out a duffel bag along with small gift bags. He sat the duffel in my lap and opened it. When I say my mouth dropped. 

It was neatly stacked bills filled to the top. “Thats for emergencies. Put in somewhere safe.” Next he handed me the small bags and I went searching. The bag held an iced Pandora bracelet. “Damn,” was the only thing I could say. In the next bag was a gold Cuban link chain. “Ice me out then!” We laughed and he took the jewelry to place them on me. 

“Dont get fucked up out here Loryn, remember who ya man is.” I smacked my teeth and pushed his hand. “I dont need no reminder nigga.” He pulled me in for a kiss and pushed my seat back. “Now sit back and shut up while I enjoy myself.” Ace took my thighs and made me spread eagle. “Why you free ballin’?” 

I looked down as he placed small wet kisses on my second lips. “Stop teasing me and get to it.” He slid two fingers inside of my mouth and flicked my clit. “I didnt tell you to talk so shut up?” He drug his tongue from the top the of my clit down to my opening. I grabbed onto his head shoving pushing him further into my pussy. “Fuck yeah baby!” I gyrated my hips and leaned my head back enjoying the moment. This was definitely the best way to end the night.   

[likeadrug-ff]

T H R E E . O N E

L O N D Y N 

I smacked my teeth as my phone was going off the hook. Somebody was blowing me up so much that it fell off the nightstand. I roughly threw the covers from over my head and felt for my phone. Once I had it, it started to ring again. “What took you so long?” I sighed and threw myself back on the bed. “Maybe ‘cause I was sleeping boy.”

It had to have been at least two or three in the morning. It was still dark as fuck out. “Wake up mama.” I rolled onto my stomach and wrapped one arm around my pillow. “Im up baby, whats the matter?” I asked. “Im bout to come through after I make this slam,” I kind of left out the part about him being deep into the drug business. 

He started dealing our senior year of high school. I was the first to know and of course I didnt like it one bit. I begged him everyday to let it go but he was determined to make his money. “Ima be there in a hour.” I hung up and threw the phone next to me and drifted back to sleep. 

I felt a strong pair of arms slide around my bare waist and I instantly melted. My man was finally here. “You better not have no shit in my room.” He hugged me from behind and I felt that he was only in his boxers. “Only my book bag and weed.” Just when I thought I was going back to sleep he started grinding his dick onto my ass. I whined and tried pushing him back.

“Im tired Kaiden. Its four in the morning and I just went to sleep at one.” He went to leaving passion marks on my neck while using one hand to roll my nipple between his fingers. “Let me just slid in real quick. I need to bust.” Being that I was completely naked he grabbed my leg, lifted it in the air and pulled his dick out. 

He went to rubbing his dick all in my wetness and around my clit. His dick was so thick and long and I thought it was the prettiest thing in the world. “K-Kaiden.” 

Kaidens grip on my leg tightened as he pushed into me causing me to moan and shudder. “Its gon’ be quick mama.” Our bodies moved as one as he picked up his speed. “Dont stop. Dont..fucking..stop!” He covered my mouth as he pounded me from the back with no remorse. I was close. I felt it coming and so could he. In a matter of minutes we were both cumming. 

“Best quickie of my life.” He was practically panting breathlessly. “Aight you can go to sleep now.” Kissing me roughly on my cheek he pulled out but stayed close behind me. 

--------

“Lon baby? Its mama.” She knocked softly and I scurried out of bed. Kaiden huffed and turned on his stomach covering his whole body. I snatched my silk robe off the door and opened the door as I tied the straps. “Good morning.” I cleared my throat. “Hey mamas Rosey,” I had to side eye her. “I made everyone breakfast sandwiches. Including Mr. Kaiden.” She gave me her best ‘I knew it’ face. 

“Im going to be staying the night at the hospital, please dont forget to study. I need you to be ready before we can put you in the field mamas.” My mom is the head pediatric nurse and she took her job very serious. “I’ll get on it.” She kissed my cheek and said her I love yous before leaving the house. I closed the door and cleaned up the sprawled clothes from the floor. 

“Yo ya ass is moving like crazy.” I turned to see that Kaiden was now woke and watching my every move. “You look so beautiful, I heard moms cooked.” He clapped his hands together and rubbed them together afterwards. “Whats the plans for tonight? Why you aint talkin’? Oh cat got ya tongue huh?” I stood completely still. Its too early for these questions. Like I just woke the fuck up. 

“Im working all day, both jobs. I wont get home until its time to get ready for Loryns grand opening.” I raked my hands through my hair and walked back to the bed. He sat up against the headboard and patted his lap. Of course I made my way to him and got comfortable. “My lil brotha coming in town so I gotta pick him up, get him situated and then we’ll be on our way here.” 

“Sounds good?” I nodded my head then kissed him quickly before getting up and getting ready for work.

K A I D E N

“Move the fuck out the way then bitch.” I grumbled when some old bitch honked her horn at me. I was speeding towards Lolanis school. She called me at the last minute asking if I could come pick her up. Rolling up to the exact spot she sent me I seen her arguing with some nigga. So me being me, I immediately threw the car in park and jumped out making sure to slam the door.

Heads turned in the process but I aint give not one fuck. “Whats da problem?” When I say she looked back like she seen a ghost. I had to keep myself from laughing man. “What-How did you even get here that fast?” Who ever this nigga was , was grilling the fuck out of us. “So this the nigga that got you ignoring me? Must’ve been why you broke shit off too huh?” Lil Lo got a man? Well shit, had a man.

“Omari you know exactly why I ended shit between us! You think you can have your cake and eat it too? You had a whole baby on me and didnt give a shit to even tell me!” Well this shit here is awkward. I aint know if I should say something or just wait in the car. This what my ass get for getting out in the first place rather than just letting her know that I was here.

“Aye..Ima just go wait-” Lolani quickly held her hand up. “Its not gonna take long. So you’re just gonna stand there looking dumb?” I wanted to laugh but it wasn’t the right place nor time. Well neither was this argument they were having but hell, shit happens.

Right when I thought we could walk away he decides he want to start talking. And of course I couldn’t help my overly dramatic sigh. “Look Im sorry aight? I aint.. I aint mean to hurt you Lani.” I probably looked bout crazy going back and forth between them. “You aint no fucking sorry!” She made us both jump back as she bucked at him and talked through clenched teeth.

“You’re sorry that I found out. You’re sorry that we can no longer fuck and chill anymore! Im done Omari. I wish you the best of luck with your child and everything but please, Im begging you to please leave me alone ok?” She turned and strolled to the car with me on her heels.

L O L A N I

Heartbroken. Shattered. Fucked. I dont know how to feel at this moment. Omari was my first everything and I just cant believe he would do something like this to me. But he did. The ride to my house was very much silent like I needed it to be.

I needed to get my thoughts together. Try to understand this whole thing. The only man I’ve ever loved and let explore my body has betrayed me. “You aight Lil Lo?” This nigga just had to ruin the peace and quiet. I picked at my nails and shrugged. “No but I’ll be fine. I get over it one day.” When I looked over at him he gave me a small side small. “You will.”

Why couldn’t Omari be like Kaiden? Even before he made things official with Londyn he was always loyal and true to her in their friendship. “You have any brothers?” He screwed his face then we both busted out laughing. “Ok ok, take me serious Kaiden.” He was in the middle of rolling a backwood as we sat at the red light.

“I do, hes suppose to be coming down tonight for Loryns grand opening.” He licked the wood closed and searched for his lighter. Looking up he saw that the light had turned green and proceeded down the road. “But if you’on mind me saying, Ion think its a good idea to just try to jump into something new after what I witnessed today.”

I crossed my arms and looked out the window. “Just like ya stubborn ass sister. Just hear me out Lil Lo aight?” He sparked the blunt before talking again. “Today you only got a lil taste of how grimey niggas can really be. I just feel like you should focus on yaself and school right now. Dont get me wrong we all wanna see you happy and living life, but dont rush it. Thats all Im saying.”

I sunk in my seat. “Fine. At least let me meet him.” He gave me a thumbs up and hesitated on passing me the blunt. I laughed and took it from him. Just because Im a college girl doesn’t mean I dont have my fun. Just as he pulled in the drive way we finished the wood. “Thank you again Kaiden. Please dont tell Londyn about this, I’d never hear the end of it.”

I smiled and patted his shoulder before letting myself out. Letting myself into the house I headed up the stairs and straight to my room. Being a pastry chef was not easy. Some days I have to work overnight and sometimes I dont get a break. I went to pick out some set of bra and panties. Then I gathered everything I needed for a nice hot bubble bath.

[searchingff-blog]

A MONTH PRIOR 

Zeus did 180 mph down the highway when a childhood friend gave him the call about the shooting. He was confused that in retaliation for what he did Selena took it out on Azure. Being involved with the streets meant everybody you loved was in danger. Innocents died everyday because of gang violence, but AZ and him hadn’t been around each other heavily for anybody to take notice, or so he thought.

“What happened?”

He walked up to where the entire Mane family was standing and praying. Azure glanced up and looked up when she heard his voice, and just smiled. Hazel broke the circle, and headed his way. Her mind kept replaying the conversation she had with her girls to rough Selena up, and all she could think about was this being her fault. She grabbed Zeus’ arm and led him to a stairway.

“I just got the news, the boys ready.”

The demon deep rooted in Zeus was ready to go on a killing spree. There were countless times when Mama Mane fed, clothed, and even whooped his ass when he needed her to. That was his mama, and when things blew up with AZ she never stopped loving him. The person responsible was going to have to pay for this.

“Zeus just calm down.”

Hazel said hoping he’d realize anybody could be listening.

“Calm down? Fuck you talkin bout calm down. Dukes place just got shot up, and she up in here!”

Hazel realized he didn’t know the full news.

“She didn’t make it out the ambulance.”

A tear rolled down her face.

Zeus ceased to breath as everything around him seemed to stop. It struck his core, his foundation, his heart aggressively. The enemy took something from him once again. It was like deja vu, because this feeling wasn’t new.

Zeus’ real mother, Veronica was robbed and killed when he was fifteen. His world changed and he started to view the world different. It wasn’t until he had his daughter did he start to realize that love could exist for him, and that he had to keep the ones he loved safe, and he failed.

“What you mean?”

He was finally able to mutter some words that were coupled by tears.

“It was my fault.”

Hazel wasn’t making any sense to Zeus.

“I had my girls rough up Selena Santos, because she slept with Roman. This was her get back.”

Tears were flushing down Hazel’s face, because now it finally felt real and it hurt like a bitch. This was her doing.

Zeus on the other hand was still stuck on mama Neal dying, and then for her to throw on him that she was the cause fucked with his temper, but the only thing that saved her was the fact that she was crying.

“I hope that sits witcha dumb ass for the rest of your life. You go and do some dumb shit like that knowing everything that’s going on, are you fucking kidding me.”

He wanted to slapped the hell out of her.

“I guess she fucking missed.”

Zeus slung the door open and walked back out. There was so much going on in his head, but then he seen Azure and knew that she needed to be consoled rather than brought up on game. All she needed from him was a hug, and he wrapped his colossal arms around her.

PRESENT

Brooklyn was finally back home, and Zeus was able to spend time with her. His daughter gave him purpose, and kept him on the right track. He was off probation, and was finally able to start doing more for his family. It was like every other day he was either with his daughter, Azure, or the both of them. He was at the park with his daughter, and a few of her cousins enjoying the nice Harlem day.

After a few minutes passed a Irish Man walked over and sat next to him.

“She looks just like you.”

“I aint know you were making a stop by Vic.”

He said, keeping an eye on his daughter the entire time.

“I have to plan visits to see my family.”

“You have in the past.”

Vic was Zeus’ street pops, the one that taught him everything that he knew about the drug world, and how to survive in it. With his mom’s house getting shot up, and with it being Vic, Zeus knew he knew the real reason behind it.

“Well, times are different and I hear there’s been a war started with us, because of your right hand. Now, I hear Hazel fled before she could beg for forgiveness, so in return to end things with the Santos we handled her. Azure won’t be expecting to hear from her, so I hope she stops calling, because I would really hate to have to handle her to. As for you my son, the only reason why I’m not going to off you now is because I would hate for Brooklyn to have to grow up daddyless. Going forward the war is over, and you’re out. I’m doing this for her good, because they wanted your head too for the restaurant fiasco, but people like me and my bloodline runs deep in this business. Enjoy your day.”

Vic stood up and walked away. The threat clenched tight against his throat, and didn’t release him until Vic got up. The old him would have handled him, but he did have BK to look after. Nobody ever left the life unscathed, and that was a blessing all in itself.

“Let’s go get some food y’all.”

He stood up, ready to leave.

[secretaddiction-ff]

05

She hadn’t been to sleep and it was already 4 am. She was annoyed and was trying to figure out where Rick was. The last time she had seen him he said he would be back by 1 am. He was probably out doing whatever with whoever. She really didn’t care, but she was noticing how disrespectful he was starting to become. The night before he kept entertaining another woman. Izara didn’t know who the girl was or where she came from, but whoever she was, Rick made it seem like she’s was the only one in his life. The girl kept staring at her and rolling her eyes. That should’ve been a red flag, but for whatever reason Izara let it slide. 

“Let me call you back, I just got here and I’m tired.” Rick walked into the bedroom and looked at Izara’s annoyance on her face.

”Who was that?”

“Some bitch I used to fuck with. Why are you questioning me?” Izara rolled her eyes and turned over.

“Why are you questioning me?” Stayed in her head. She didn’t know what to say, or she did and she just didn’t want to. She didn’t want to say how she felt, because she already figured out how he was. She questioned him the other night and he got irate. Seeing him get angry only made her feel away and after she didn’t talk to him the whole he tried to make up with a new Chanel bag. 

“So, why are you still talking to her?” Izara said, still with her back turned.

“You worried about the wrong shit, ma. I told you to stop worrying about shit that doesn’t concern you.” Izara sat up, gave him a look and decided to get up. “Where are you going?”

“Go to hell.” She put her clothes on and grabbed her Saint Laurent tote bag, pulling her cigarette out. Izara was annoyed and needed to leave as soon as possible.

Stopping her in her tracks, Izara lit her cigarette and blew smoke in Rick’s face. She knew that would upset him, but she didn’t care. He was being disrespectful once again and she couldn’t deal with it at the moment. 

“What the fuck did I tell you about that shit?”

“Honestly, I don’t care about what you told me. The fact that I’m asking you who you were on the phone with and you proceeded to tell me it’s some bitch you used to fuck with. That’s disrespectful as hell and you don’t even care. I’m honestly over all of this. I’m leaving and don’t even try to stop me.” Izara tried to take another step, but Rick back slapped her and she fell back onto the bed.

Izara reflexes had her fist landing on his right eye. Izara didn’t back down to no man, but she couldn’t believe this was happening. This fool was already showing his true colors and she couldn’t believe he even laid a finger on her. First the verbal abuse and now this? She knew she couldn’t let this little “relationship” continue.

“Ah, fuck....Bitch.” Rick grabbed her by her throat and slammed her back on the bed.

“Are you fucking crazy? Don’t you ever hit me!” 

Izara punched him and kicked him his balls. She got up quickly and grabbed her belongings. Before she knew it, she stormed out of his house with a quickness and left. She was over this.

***

The day had dragged for Izara. She barely got any sleep and she wasn’t really in the mood for drinks and food. She just wanted a bed, but she promised Randy she would come out. The fight between her and Rick had her ready to shut the world out. Her cheek was slightly bruised, but makeup covered that. She looked over her shoulder the whole time, Rick had people all over this city and she knew it would be easy to find her.

As time passed, that awkward feeling had visited her again as she stopped laughing with her friends. She thought the awkward feeling had left, but it was back. She was trying to enjoy this girls night, but she knew it would be interrupted.

”I’ll be right back.”

”Where are you going ?” Randy asked.

”To the restroom.”

”Okay.” 

Walking through the crowd, Izara was getting closer to the awkward presence and before she could walk into the restroom he stopped her. She knew he would do it, but she didn't think he would do it in front of all the people he was with.

”You saw me and didn't think I would stop you.” Izara rolled her eyes at Adonis.

”No, I didn't. Can you let me go, thanks.” Izara whispered and tried to snatch away. She didn’t know if Rick sent him or not.

”Follow me outside.” Izara was very hesitant and finally went along with it.

Izara texted Randy and said she was leaving because Rick was outside. That was far from the truth and Izara was actually scared someone that knew Rick would see them. It was known she was connected to him and Miami wasn't that big so they could be caught, even though Izara wasn't doing anything wrong.

Watching her surroundings, Izara became even more confused. Adonis was getting ready to make his way across the street, towards the beach. It was already dark and Izara didn’t like being on the beach at night. She was hoping this him being genuine because if it was she was fucked.

“Where are we going?”

“To the beach.” 

“For what? Do you think this is appropriate?” Adonis ignored her and she quickly followed behind him.

Izara wasn’t sure what Adonis was up to, but it was kind of making her nervous. She didn’t know if this was some kind of set up or if he was being extra friendly. 

“Why did you want me to come over here with you?” Izara asked.

“You ask a lot of questions, you know that?”

“Seriously? I’m asking questions because you’ve been trying to get me to stop talking to Rick since that house party.”

“Well did you stop fucking with him?” 

“No and Yes.”

“You probably damn near living with the nigga too, huh?” He said raising his brow. He was right because Izara was. 

Only a few weeks and Izara was spending all of her time with Rick. Even after the fight, she knew she would be right back with him. She had access to his home now and it was just so weird she let this situation go this far. She didn’t know what the hell she was doing, but whatever it was she couldn’t stop it. She felt if she cut it off, she probably would regret it. 

“You think you know everything? Again, why am I here? Aren’t you supposed to be back in New York or whatever?”

“I got a penthouse here and a penthouse in NYC, any more questions?”

“You didn’t answer the first one. What’s up with you? You know this isn’t a good look, yet we’re here.”

“What isn’t a good look? We’re not doing anything wrong, just talking.” Izara rolled her eyes and let the sand go between her toes.

The calmness of the ocean was soothing and sitting down next to the water was actually the best thing. Sitting on the beach at night was better than what she expected and having a conversation with a stranger was actually not as bad as she thought. Adonis wasn’t what she thought he was. He seemed like a good guy, but she couldn’t understand why he wanted to be all in her face. He knew she was dating Rick, but he didn’t care. Did he want her? Or did Rick set this up? She didn’t know and at this moment she could care less.

“Wait you not from here? You don’t act like a girl from DC.”

“How am I supposed to act? I’ve been down here for a few years. Didn’t come here with any plans just came to live with my sister so I could be away from my parents. Starting to realize this was a mistake.”

“Why do you think it was a mistake?”

“Miami hasn’t benefited me in any way. I’m ready to move again, but now it’s like I’m stuck.” She was referring to Rick. She was stuck now and she had a strong feeling this situation wouldn’t be easy to get out of.

“What did I tell you? Stop fucking with the nigga. What else do you need to see.”

“Well for one, you are a stranger to me. How do I know you’re not lying? I mean he doesn’t treat me like I’m not shit, the only thing he does that I don’t like is that I’m like some trophy to him. That gets on my nerves, but other than I don’t see anything wrong with him.” 

“You really like him?”

“I do.”

“I don’t think you do. You just said you were stuck, you wouldn’t be if you weren’t caught up with Rick.” Izara knew Adonis was right, but she needed whatever money he threw her way.

“You think you know me, huh?”

”I don't, but I'm trying to.” Adonis smirked and gazed back at the ocean. Izara knew she had a problem on her hands.

___

Pulling up in her sister's driveway, Izara started to think. Adonis was right, she wouldn’t be stuck if she wasn’t caught up with Rick. Rick had her head gone and even Izara herself couldn’t believe it. She needed to get away, but in all honesty, she knew it wouldn’t be that easy. He’s abusive and most of the time it’s not that easy to get away from your abusers.

Getting out of the car, Izara was blinded by a car light. She couldn’t tell who it was. She didn’t know if it was her sister or not, but whoever it was Izara had her gun ready. She didn’t play around with people and would use her weapon if needed to.

“You done acting stupid?” Rick yelled out the window. Izara rolled her eyes and stood there. Did she expect him to find her? Yes and that’s only because he knew where her sister lived now. 

“Here we go.” Izara sighed. This was about to be a long night.

[survivalofthefittest-ff-blog]

1: Money Moves

six months earlier

Time was moving so fast and the way Dionne’s day was set up, she hated it. She didn't like her job, but she sure didn't want to get off either. She contemplated on staying an extra hour, but would the headache of customers be worth it? Her hands were shaking and her heart started pounding. She wanted to go elsewhere after work, but she knew that wouldn't work out too great. Dionne knew she had to deal with him one way or another, but today wasn't the day.

Dionne was in an abusive relationship, not physical, but it was abusive verbally, mentally and emotionally. She couldn't escape it, though. She only dealt with it because his abusive, insecure, crazy ass was paying her bills and buying her expensive gifts. None of that was worth it, but Dionne felt she didn't have a choice.

”Dionne! Are you staying over again?” Dionne snapped out of her thoughts as her manager asked her a question.

”I was going to, but -”

”But you're already maxed out with hours. I love that you like to stay over, but I can't allow it this week. Go ahead and clock out. I'll see you in the morning.”

”Alrighty.” Dionne sighed and walked away.

Wrapped up in her thoughts, Dionne wasn't paying any attention to her surroundings. She was so annoyed by her manager that she didn't even notice customers asking her for help as she walked by.

”Yo, can you help me?” Dionne finally turned around. ”Yeah, you.”

Dionna stood there and puzzled for a moment. It was two guys standing there and she couldn't take her eyes off of one. The one asking for help didn't really catch her eye, it was the guy he was with. He was very tall, which Dionne liked and his caramel colored skin had art all over. He was beautiful, but of course, he wasn't paying attention to Dionne.

”Um, yes I - ”

”She can’t, she's off the clock. I'll be more than welcome to help you, though.” Dionne frowned as her co-worker Maria cut her off. ”Get out of here before Shelia comes back. I'll take care of this. See you later?” Maria whispered.

”Yeah, see you later.” 

_

The club was packed to capacity and Dionne was annoyed. Max had been calling her nonstop demanding she get home, but money had to be made. She was a sales associate by day and bartender by night, but honestly, she just wanted to quit both. The bartending job was cool, but she was tired of staying up late. It was the same thing for her for five days out of the week and she was ready to give up. She wanted to give up on both jobs and her relationship, but it didn't seem like it would happen anytime soon.

”What up shorty? I ain't seen you in a few days, you good?”

”Hey slim. Yeah, I'm good been busy with my other job, what are you drinking tonight?”

”You know, the usual. I like my Hennessy chilled. You said your other job? What you doing working two jobs?”

”I like making money.” She sat his glass down.

”That's cool, let me ask you something.” Dionne raised an eyebrow and was curious to know what he was about to ask. ”You ever thought about making some real money?”

”What do you mean?”

”My boy Len looking for somebody else with this little situation he got planned. He could use a smart woman on the team.” Dionne was cautious about situations like this. She didn't know if it was legit or it was a scam.

Dealing with any of the dudes in New York was risky, especially for her. Dionne was from Houston, so being around and with a guy from New York was different for her. It's not that she was scared, she was just trying to learn how the people moved out here. It had only been two years and she was learning, but she needed to learn a little quicker.

”What is the mission, slim? Most importantly who the hell is Len?”

”He just texted me. He’ll be here in a few minutes. I'll let him talk to you about that. After you get off, though.” Dionne gave Slim a look and tended to the other people sitting at the bar. She worried it would be something that involved her life being on the line, she wasn't ready for that.

As the night continued, the club became more crowded and Dionne was getting more dollars and attention. It didn't take two seconds before her attention went back on Slim and the guy that walked up to him. It was the guy she laid eyes on earlier at her other job. She wondered was this the Len guy Slim mentioned to her. If it was, she was very open to the idea.

Dionne hurried back over to Slim as he got her attention. She was nervous, yet intrigued. She was intrigued by the beautiful man that stood right in front of her. From his tattoos, his height, his smile and the jewelry that was on him, Dionne couldn't help herself. She wanted to know more about him, but would it be worth it?

”Yo, Dionne this Len. Len, this Dionne. After she gets off, we can talk about that shit you mentioned earlier.” Dionne was frozen, not literally, but that's what it looked like.

”I ran into shorty earlier.” Slim looked confused.

”Earlier? So yall already met?”

”Yeah, um, at my other job. We didn't actually get introduced, though.” Dionne was stuttering and didn't even realize it. She was just in awe of Lennox’s looks and the way he looked at her sent chills up her body.

Dionne wasn't sure if she should even agree to this. Lennox was very attractive and the way her relationship was set up, she didn't need to be underneath another man she thought looked good. She was so close to calling her relationship off and the way Lennox looked, she was ready to play single.

”So are you willing to help me?” Lennox asked a nervous looking Dionne.

”I guess.”

”I need you to be sure. I don't work well with people who are not sure.”

”Okay, I'm open to the idea. I just hope I can trust you.”

”I hope I can trust you too.” He was stern and Dionne could tell he was very serious. This was about to be very interesting.

[vixen-fiction]

Letter to the Little Girl Lost.

This story is about a girl.

A young child, a flower not yet turned wild

Sometimes motherless, always fatherless and abandoned on her island. Soon brought to a strange new land. Her mother returned to take her to this new home, some man who was unknown.

Time went on and the girl became unhappy, withdrawn. She was interrupted, disrupted, corrupted, disgusted. Who knew what she’d turn into? What can you do when you’re own mother, flesh and blood grooms you...

At the age of eight, sex shouldn’t be on any child’s brain. Yet it was for Farrah.

A battered and opened wound, torn to become an infection more aggressive than cancer, similar to HIV.

The little girl had an epiphany. Love doesn’t hurt, love doesn’t rape, love doesn’t make you bleed. It isn’t supposed to. How exactly do you break away? How can you feel free? What’s it like? To live without your demons rotting you to the core?

Here is the story of a little girl now a woman. A woman who is broken, with many flaws, but maybe now.. she can heal and learn to love. Love not another but herself, a child, no longer running wild.

This is just the beginning..of a story where a butterfly with torn and tattered wings learned to fly again.

This is a letter to self, to that little girl who’s life was shattered by those she was supposed to trust. That little girl is me.. I love you

With love,

Farrah B, better known as Zuri. 🦋

[oklcmc]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀،̲،̲⠀𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐆𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐁𝐀𝐓 ❪chapter seis：fortune favors the bold❫⸝ pt. 𝟐╱𝟐 [𝟏𝟖+]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〝⠀I’m TRYNA be a LEADER⸝ but shit⸝ I’m FALLIN’ in⠀⠀⠀MY PAST⸝⠀〞 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀✱ Tory Lanez — Adidas ❪2020❫

ׂ ̣ ○ . ° ♰ 𓈒 ॱ 𓂂 WORD COUNT⠀⦂⠀5，057

ׂ ̣ ○ . ° ♰ 𓈒 ॱ 𓂂 PAIRING⠀⦂⠀street fighter!black!male oc ❪keith powers❫ ✕ black!female oc ❪kelis rogers⸝ circa ‘99❫

ׂ ̣ ○ . ° ♰ 𓈒 ॱ 𓂂 FOREWARNING⠀⦂⠀This chapter will contain use of strong language and gore ִ 𖤠 Read at your own discretion.

ׂ ̣ ○ . ° ♰ 𓈒 ॱ 𓂂 AUTHOR’S NOTE⠀⦂⠀⠀⠀‘’⠀⠀⠀I’ve been working on this chapter progressively throughout these past few months of ‘22 and yet，I still don’t like the way it turned out. Given that it is just a filler chapter to give you guys hints on what everything’s leading up to in the next act，I still feel as though I could’ve put forth more effort with it to make it even more intriguing，but I’m not trippin’，’cause I really didn’t want to bring this chapter into ‘23 with me. Having this finally completed has been a huge weight lifted off my shoulders，you guys have no idea，so praise God for that! I can finally start the process of cracking down on my other hobbies besides writing this month，going into ‘23. As I would say back in my Wattpad days，show support by liking，reblogging or even commenting! I’m appreciative of every little interaction y’all give me，but more specifically with this piece of work here! Muah!⠀⠀⠀‘’

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀〝⠀MY THOUGHTS MUST BE RELAXED⸝ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀BE ABLE TO MAINTAIN ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀‘CAUSE TIMES IS CHANGED ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AND LIFE IS STRANGE

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀THE GLORIOUS DAYS IS GONE ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀AND EVERYBODY’S DOIN’ BAD ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀YO⸝ MAD LIVES IS UP FOR GRABS!⠀〞

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀-ˋˏ⠀VINEGAR HILL⸝ BROOKLYN ⠀⠀⠀⠀SATURDAY⸝ OCTOBER 𝟖ᵀᴴ⸝ 𝟏：𝟏𝟕 AM ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀TYREE’S PAD⠀ˎˊ˗ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀🐉系🍱🥢🥡💮𓈒𓄹

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀𝐎𝐌𝐍𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐓

ㅤㅤㅤ“𝕺KAY⸝ SO I’M FULLY AWARE that I’m late arriving to our Kung Fu Watch-A-Thon, but the great news is that I’ve come bearing gifts to make up for the time lost!”

After a forty-minute commute to the Soldier crew’s habitual dining place of Louie & Ernie’s Pizza back in The Bronx and weaving traffic for nearly the same amount of time, Kei and Lamar had successfully made it through the door of Tyree’s Vinegar Hill pad where Isaiah had been patiently anticipating their arrival on an empty stomach.

He sat slouched within his favorite seat within the apartment, arms crossed with his traditional attire of wrinkled baseball Jerseys and white crew neck T-shirts while The 36th Chamber of Shaolin aired on the 55″ flat screen television. The camouflage A Bathing Ape brand bucket hat he was then sporting had been slightly tilted down over his mahogany eyes, making it damn near difficult to tell on whether or not he had actually been watching the film or whether it had been watching him the entire time, especially beneath the dim directional lights of the front room.

They both had received an answer to their question when Isaiah went to adjust himself in the recliner at Kei’s bribery.

“Ah, I knew you couldn’t resist a good bargain,” Kei conveyed rather vivaciously, swiftly slipping from out her Cinderellaesque PVC pumps and leaving Lamar to fetch them like the mutt he was. She went to safely place her glass bag aside on the entertainment stand before taking the pizza boxes from his possession and going to approach Isaiah, kneeling before him in her authentic Thierry Mugler frock. “So what will it be tonight, Zay, plain cheese or Margherita?”

Without so much as a single utter, Isaiah didn’t hesitate when hungrily outstretching his hands for the box with the all cheese pizza stored inside of it.

“Now how’d I know you’d choose that one? More Margherita for me then,” She shrugged, placing the box of Margherita pizza on the coffee table before going to stand on her own two, facing towards the hallway in which their bedrooms resided while finally getting the opportunity to take down the high ponytail in her head that seemingly gave her a make-shift face lift and migraine throughout the course of the night. “I’ma go wash this makeup off and slip into something a little more comfortable. Keep my se—”

“Thank you.” An indistinct baritone voice muttered, causing Kei, as well as Lamar to pause dead in their tracks.

“Lamar, y-you said somethin’?”

“Hell nah!” He exclaimed, putting up a minor fight with the can of Red Bull he had managed to snag from the tall freestanding larder fridge while attempting to get it open. “I think that little nigga just talked!”

“Oh my God, Zay! You can talk?!?! It’s a miracle!” Kei exclaimed in excitement, clasping her hands together and bringing them up towards her gloss coated lips before turning to face Isaiah who had a bashful grin ghosting his full lips.

“That nigga hasn’t spoken in like five years!” Lamar stated, gently going to grab Kei up by her upper arm before catapulting her towering stature towards his own by his free hand. “Ay, whatever voodoo you performed on him and T, you need to try on me.” He blew a kiss in her direction in which she rejected by kissing her teeth and rolling her eyes before snatching away from him.

“It’s called “Decorum,” weird ass. You oughta learn more of it. Now if you’d excuse me, I’d like to go change unlike some people ‘round here. I ain’t gon’ name no names, and keep your hands out my pizza!”

“I bought the shit.” Lamar retorted, falling back onto the leather sofa.

“Yeah, with my man’s money!” Kei shot back once in the safety of her and Tyree’s bedroom before going to slam and lock the door.

“You, as well as I know that that’s bullshit, aight, Kei?! My mans owes me for all the babysittin’ I’ve done with you and Zay these past six years and countin’, for you, a month and countin’! Fuck else you think I’m gettin’ paid for? To sit ‘round, lookin’ pretty? Oh, I must’ve forgot, that’s you and Bianca’s responsibility, right? ‘Cause I ain’t tryna step on anybody’s toes!” Lamar shouted sarcastically in response from the living room area, mouth then full of cheese pizza.

“Tuh! Won’t ‘fend me none!” Kei sibilated once her high quality jewelry was removed and stored safely inside it’s organizer.

She opted her vintage Thierry Mugler frock for casual attire that was far less overstimulating, that being a graphic camisole top and a pair of loose fit denim shorts in which she had to fold the band over in order to keep them up on her waistline for the time being. She slipped her pedicured feet inside her green Marni Sabot mules with a very high priority of showering straight after dinner before retreating to the bathroom to rid her face of any makeup.

She was in the midst of drying her face with a few disposable Bounty quilted napkins when an obnoxious crash could be heard coming from the living room area, causing for her to pause all action completely. She thought nothing of it in that spare moment of silence, resuming with her nightly regime, chalking it up to being nothing more than Lamar’s ass horseplaying around with Isaiah, per usual, until it came to her name being shouted by Lamar, despair lacing his tone. She was sure on disposing the used napkins before rushing to his aide with her heart in her throat.

Kei knew something was off that night. Her intuition led her to believe so, and the blood smearing on the open door, staining Tec’s hands and all tracing back to the once white T-shirt of Tyree that was then soiled in it further proved that she should’ve stuck with her first instinct instead of putting her faith in his. She couldn’t bare the thought of losing another.

“TYREE!” Kei shouted unto him, knees collapsing at his side by the leather sofa in which his tremoring body was then laid upon. “Tyree...” She whimpered, tucking her quivering bottom lip between her teeth only momentarily as a tear fell from the tip of her tinted nose. She wasn’t afraid to get her hands or attire dirty when carefully going to bring his body closer to hers. She assumed the only way they’d receive any explanation on this at all was if they’d remain calm while going about it. “Tyree, baby, tell me what happened. Who did this to you, hm? C’mon...” She sniffed, damp forehead falling against his as she caressed his face for comfort though it did anything but that. “Please talk to me, baby. Just... Please!” She wept, losing patience as he convulsed within her arms.

By this time within the night, Tyree’s 6′2″ frame had succumb to severe pain due to the gunshot wounds that penetrated his shoulder and side. The amount of blood he had lost from the train station to right there on the sofa had him feeble and delirious. He could barely distinguish illusion from reality. A desperate cry for help would only resort in more blood being spilled, so was there even a point in entertaining the thought of it? If this were his fate then he was damn sure accepting of it.

“Tec, what happened tonight?!” When Kei couldn’t pry the answers from her boyfriend, she instead found herself inquiring the next person in line for the job. Her glossy eyes fell on Tec who paced at the center of the living room, bewilderness set into his expression as the events that took place well over an hour ago still played out in his head on a constant loop.

His blood-stained hands trembling with panic as he skillfully attempted to ignite the backwood tucked between his lips even in the condition of an sprained wrist. He couldn’t quite wrap his head around how none of them seen it coming, and on the other hand, he couldn’t help but to place blame on himself with how Tyree and Soldier ended up. So many “If’s” and “Maybe’s.” If only he had took his own truck instead of pooling with Soldier that night, it would’ve bought them more time to escape the Jakes with him. He could’ve gotten Tyree home much more quicker than what the train had, not to mention them having to walk blocks from the crime scene in order to catch that.

“Shit, I don’t know, Kei!” Tec bellowed in agitation once pulling the blunt from his lips, halting his pace only momentarily in order to gather his thoughts. “We was only supposed to be hittin’ The Heights to celebrate T’s win tonight. Couple bottles, some sesh, a few bitches, y’know? The usual. Shit took a left turn in Soldier’s whip once we found out them opp niggas was following us from the venue. Ra had to have been wit’ them niggas—”

“Ra?! As in Raphael?!” Lamar interrogated, head jerking back and eyes narrowing in disbelief. “Nah, no way.”

“Nigga, I’m tryna tell your ass, Ra was wit’ them niggas! Who the fuck else you think was bustin’ shots in T’s direction first?! In the front seat of our whip, at that?!” Tec sniffed, swiping his thumb beneath his frigid and tinted nose in anger by use of his dominant hand. “I saw the shit myself! Next thing you know, an old school Cadillac Coupe DeVille that them niggas was rollin’ in pulls up next to us and starts firing more shots. We all ended up crashin’ somewhere on 125th and Lex, but it ain’t end there. Tyree called himself hopping out to go after them niggas... Alone. Meanwhile, I’m left to tend to Soldier even though I’m just as fucked up as he is at that point,” He took a swift pull from his blunt, his vacant eyes wide open and set on nothing in particular as he went to close out his story. “I’m still not even a hundred percent sure what went down in that station earlier, shit, I’m not even sure if I want to know. I’ll let T tell y’all that part. All I do know is that Ra’s on the run, Soldier’s in the slammer and we out here.”

“Soldier’s in holding?” Kei questioned empathetically as if that had been the only statement she excerpted from his vent.

“Ain’t no fuckin’ way half these niggas jumped ship, Soldier’s in the can and we out here outnumbered, crippled or damn near dead! Let’s get Tyree to the nearest hospital so that we can go get back at them niggas!”

“Nigga, are you dumb, stupid or slow?! Did you not hear what the fuck I just said?! The streets is mad hot right now for any of us, that including Kei! It was mad surveillance cameras in that one spot. The best we can do right now is lay low ‘til it all blows over.”

“What?! And let him bleed out?!” Lamar questioned, extending his arms out in the direction of Tyree.

“I feel like you got somethin’ you wanna say, Lamar...” Tec stated, walking up on Lamar.

“You guys, is now really the best time for all this?” Kei questioned softly.

“Fuck that. I’m makin’ a housecall to Dr. Moore. He’ll clear all this shit up. C’mon, Zay. You ‘on’t need to be seeing all this.” Lamar stated, grabbing the back of Isaiah’s neck in a brotherly manner once he was in close proximity of him before they would both make their way to the back of the apartment.

“Yeah, you call that strung out ass nigga. I’m headin’ to the rooftop. I need some fuckin’ air.” Tec announced, slamming the door on his way out and leaving Kei on her lonesome.

Flatbush，Brooklyn

A very eager and even more anxious Jasper Valentine sat positioned in genuflect as he laced his Adidas with unsteady hands before his own son who laid fast asleep and bundled within the comfort of his own car seat warmer, on the porch of none other than the Lewis’.

It was well past midnight and New York had hit it’s lows as far as the fall weather was concerned which would explain their hefty getups, but Jasper had deep meaning to go a lot further in his.

“Ay, little man, it’s daddy here,” Jasper glanced down at his five-month-old son’s full face for what could potentially be the last time, his NUK brand pacifier being latched on sporadically throughout the infant’s deep slumber. “I realize... I realize that you’re far too young to comprehend just what I’m about to tell you, but I feel as though I at least owe that to ya dukes since your grandparents couldn’t exactly do the same when it came to us. I’m going away for a minute. Going to find your Titi Kei along with your Tío Antonio. It’s uncertain to me on just how long we’ll actually be away or if we’ll even be returning at all with the way things are lookin’ right now, but the really dope part about all this, is that you’ve got angels in your corner, ready and willing to protect you at any given cost, that including your abuela, your madre and even ya Tía XiXi, so you be a good boy for them ‘til papi gets back, hm? And just remember, no matter what happens after tonight, I love you, Joie Valentine. Never will stop lovin’ you.” He kissed his teeth with a wink, giving his son a gentle chin check that caused the infant to slightly stir in his sleep before standing to his feet and going to adjust the strap of the brimming The North Face jester backpack on his right shoulder which so happened to be considered Joie’s makeshift diaper bag since birth as well.

His right hand latched onto the handle of Joie’s car seat before finally facing towards the front door of the Lewis’ Flatbush brownstone and proceeding to ring the doorbell with whatever pride he had left in him.

Mrs. Lewis’ dainty stature would soon appear at the interior craftsman doors of the vestibule of her brownstone in a satin bonnet while tying her terry cloth bath rope closed over her muumuu nightgown with her eyes halfway closed shut.

“Jasper,” The elder woman exhaled deeply in relief, bringing the young man into her tight embrace almost as if she hadn’t been expecting his company. He would’ve done the same if it weren’t for him clutching on the handle of Joie’s car seat as well as the strap of his diaper bag. “Thank God you made it here safely,” She pulled back, clasping her hands together before bringing them up towards her full lips as she batted her natural lashes in his direction. “How you been holding up?”

“I’ll be at ease once I know Kei’s back home safe,” Jasper stated, a little hostile than he probably initially intended. This all stemming from their very first encounter with the police. Seemed as if everyone had questions, but no one had answers, so he was setting out to find them on his own. “Look, Mrs. Lewis, I... I just wanted to personally thank you for doing me this solid again. I really don’t know how me and mines would’ve even made it this far without the support of you and yours. The Tsangs included.”

“Jasper Valentine, there’s no need to thank me,” She insisted, grabbing at both of his brawny upper arms. “You just thank the Lord above for binding us together in trying times such as this and for giving you the strength and protection to carry on day to day, you hear?” Her fingers slipping beneath his chin affectionately in order to lift his head up in confidence so that they were seeing eye to eye had him smiling through the pain. “The only thing you need to do for me is to be sure Kei gets home safely, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” He nodded his head in agreement. “And I know you didn’t ask for anything in return, but I still left $500 in cash, my EBT card and the keys to the apartment in Joie’s diaper bag just in case I don’t make it back in time and he ends up needing more clothes, diapers, formula or anything else for that matter. I know you’ll be checkin’ in on mi abuelo as well though he’s pretty self-sufficient, but just in case, his SSDI check comes in on the third of each month and that’s usually what we’ll use to pay the rent with after getting his necessities.”

“I know you’re good for it, baby,” Mrs. Lewis assured, taking Joie as well as his diaper bag from his possession around the same time Antonio made an appearance at the vestibule in his coordinating black assemble. Boy, was she a strong woman to be her early sixties. “Now you two go and find your sister. I’ll be praying!” She shooed the young adults away from her stoop.

They would get halfway down the street before they’d open their mouths to say anything.

“You never told me where we’re headin’ first.” Antonio stated, lacing his favorite range of metallic silver Nike Air Force Foamposite Pro sneakers.

“We’re going to see a man about a horse.” Jasper informed nonchalantly, not willing to make further conversation than that as he would yank the hood of his pullover over his freeform locs at the signal of the crosswalk light.

Bloomingdale，New Jersey 3：16 AM

Jasper and Antoino’s excursion from the gutters of Flatbush, Brooklyn to the suburbs of Bloomingdale, New Jersey by use of the Q train was a straight shot that only took a two-hour duration if you included the bus rides in between. Their destination of the night was on the porch of a three-bedroom townhome complex located in a predominantly residential area. To say that they both felt every bit of out of place, especially dressed in all black while being Black, at this time of night, was an understatement, but they both knew that they were there to serve a greater purpose, so there was really was no use in turning back at that point in time. Plus the Rap music pumping from the inside told them otherwise. This had to have been a safe space.

“Yo, bro, just a reminder that when we get inside, let me do most of the conversing. Remember I told you on the train ride here that I’ve known these cats since high school and how they ain’t too fond of new people comin’ ‘round.” Jasper forewarned, ringing the doorbell to the townhome as instructed before stepping back to where Antonio stood, carelessly rolling his preferred strain of sour diesel into a fronto leaf just to calm his nerves since he couldn’t find the time to do so earlier.

“I gotchu, bro.” Antonio reassured, not even bothering to glance in his direction as the panel door before them flew open without even so much as an interrogation on their identities while standing on the opposite side, a thick fog of marijuana smoke following shortly after. Their choice in the likes of Baby Keem’s discography weren’t as muddled then with the door being wide open. They could make out every word being shouted within the sidebar conversations of those who occupied the living room area inside. Though it seemed too late within the night to be making plans to go anywhere far.

They could only guess who actually answered the door for them as their eyes fell onto a kid, no older than eight years old and evidently of mixed race just by the loose curl pattern of his untamed natural, standing in the doorway in Marvel thermal long johns and crew socks while rubbing his puffy eyes in closed fists.

“Ay, little man, your parents—” Jasper began to interrogate the boy on his parents whereabouts when the answer came stumbling into view.

“Blaze,” Though clearly inebriated, the woman was courteous enough to hiccup into her fist before clutching onto the door for some stability. “What’ve I told you ‘bout opening my door without permission from me or your dad, huh?!”

“Sorry, mommy...” Blaze sulked with his head hung low.

“There won’t be a “Sorry” next time. I’ma just start putting a belt to your ass, how ‘bout that?! Huh?! Now go to bed like I asked! You know good and dang on well you not supposed to be up at this time of night!”

“Yes, ma’am.” Blaze remained courteous throughout his mother’s dispute, turning on his heels to retreat to his bedroom, her eyes following him every step of the way.

“I’m sorry ‘bout that. These ki— Jasper?!” The young mother would cock an eyebrow, an inviting smirk ghosting her full lips as her hands fell to her waist at the sight of an old friend.

“Shawnee, hey,” Jasper greeted once coming to realization of it being his former friend from high school as she reached out for a hug to which he happily accepted. “Long time, no speak. It’s good to finally see you again. That’s you?” He asked, referring to the kid who had seen himself up to his bedroom.

“Um, yeah,” She nodded once pulling away from him and going to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “Me and Juul’s. I heard you had one too. Congratulations.”

“Why, thank you.”

“The fuck is Juul?” Antonio muttered, only expecting for Jasper’s ears to hear until the back of Jasper’s hand came flying into his solid chest, nearly knocking the wind from him and the blunt from out his hand.

“Um, this is my brother-in-law, Antonio, but we call him Juice. I bought him along fo’ the ride.You think Juul’ll mind?”

“Course not. He’s been expecting your company, actually,” She stated, stepping aside to give them access to the townhome. “Upstairs, first door on your left.”

“Thank you.”

The duo would enter the townhome with great precaution, moving with stealth as they passed the kitchen, dining and living room areas that housed two more beautiful women— One sporting a bleached pixie cut and the other sporting a side swoop— Who indulged in their choice of marijuana or liquor while sparking up a conversation on the company as they passed by in order to reach the staircase.

They were hardly able to make it past the threshold of their designated bedroom within the townhome without firearms being pointed in their direction, causing for them to throw their hands up in defense.

“Yo, Juul, Paris, Sol? Chill! It’s just me, Jasper, from prep school, remember?” Jasper sputtered with his chest heaving as the trio hesitated to lower their weapons. He pondered on if this paranoid behavior came routine for the three, especially with a child being involved. Surely, these weren’t the same people he once considered running with back in prep school.

“Shit, Jasper,” Juul exhaled, running a clammy hand down his speckled face before being the first of the three to lower his weapon, surprisingly. “You gotta speak up next time. We almost blew your damn lid off,” He drawled, his ocean blue eyes scanning the room to catch his two colleagues still in defense mode. “They good.”

“They ain’t good ‘til I say they are,” Paris stated, glancing back at Juul.

Sol was an exchange student deriving from Japan at their time of prep school. He verbally spoke a lick of English and was more on the mute side either way which lead other people to push their own narratives about who he was as a person. Except for Paris. Paris was patient, ready and willing to protect Sol at all costs, study his culture and vice versa, so Sol would always feel the need to coincide with him, good or bad. They were the true definition of yin and yang. Before The Notorious 3 were even established, there was Paris and Sol, bonding over their passions for hypebeast fashion and music.

“I know that’s Jasper, but who the fuck is this Mr. T lookin’ motherfucker to the left of him? Nobody sent for him.”

True, Jasper thought.

He should’ve asked before stringing him along. He knew that they kept a knit operation and an outsider could cost them everything, so he couldn’t really blame them for being cautious.

“This is my brother-in-law, Antonio. We call him Juice. He’s just here lookin’ for the same answers as me, man.” This statement evidently put everyone’s racing minds at ease, causing for Paris and Sol to finally lower their weapons before Jasper and Antonio did the same with their hands.

“You should ask next time.” Paris suggested.

“No doubt.” Jasper agreed, hesitantly going to take a seat in the loveseat alongside Antonio.

“Y’all mind if I light this joint?” Antonio asked, making himself comfortable by removing his Supreme brand backpack before holding his fronto up to their eye level to prevent further suspicion.

“Yeah, man, knock yourself out.” Juul approved, taking a rip from his own form of antidepressant which so happened to be a vape.

“Now that the dust has settled, can we get down to business on my sister’s whereabouts?” Jasper inquired, irritation evident within his tone as he clasped his hands together.

“Course, bro. That’s what we’re all here for, right?” Juul stated with no particular response. “You know I’ve never beat around the bush with any of y’all, so I’ma just come right out and say that the reason the cops couldn’t find Kei is because she’s now apart of an underground street fighting ring.”

“She’s what?!” Jasper exclaimed in disbelief, leaping up from his place on the loveseat as if it would somehow obliterate the anger he’d been carrying all this time. He promised himself that he wouldn’t get riled up, no matter the circumstances that she were in, but he couldn’t seem to wrap his head around the fact that his baby sister had been engaging in an underground street fighting ring of some sort and how it only took Juul’s less than ten minutes to tell him so while it took the New York Police Department more than ten days to even identify XiXi’s lifeless body on a dead end street. They were useless! “Why y’all ain’t just tell me this shit on the phone earlier in the night, huh?! We could’ve been at these niggas’ spot!”

“Bro, don’t shoot the messenger, aight?! We just attended the spot earlier in the night after months of being absent from the scene. It would’ve been mad suspicious of us to go snatching Kei up without an actual plan in motion. Plus Kei didn’t seem to be in any immediate danger at that moment in time. What more do you want us to do?”

“To do your fuckin’ job, how ‘bout that?! Do exactly what I paid y’all to do! It’s not that fuckin’ hard!”

“And it ain’t that simple either, Jasper!” Juul’s reciprocated Jasper’s energy, pouncing up from his seat in the office chair before walking up on him. “And what you’re not about to do is come inside my crib and try to bitch me in front of our boys or my son while he’s lying in the next room! We beyond all this shit!” Being the bigger person out of the both of them, he gripped Jasper’s shoulder in order to compose him. “Look, I get your determination on getting your sister back home, Jasper, I truly do. I’d flip out if my sister was in a ring too, but you gotta keep in mind that these people we talkin’ ‘bout are just as lethal as us three, if not, more and on a much larger scale; therefore, we gotta be strategic on how we move.”

“Then what exactly is it that you suggest we do, Juul? ‘Cause I’m losing my patience. I’ll take them niggas on myself.” Jasper gritted, shooting daggers in his direction.

Truth be told, Juul hadn’t really had any particular plan in order. This was one of those plan-as-you-go situations, but he wasn’t about to let Jasper know that.

All previous tension within the room seemingly came to a standstill when all three of the women from earlier came bombarding the already crowded place with their inebriated spirits and the causes of them, sparing Juul some time to think this through.

Shawnee would stumble her way over to Juul before going to wrap her flimsy arms around his torso the best way that she could while her friend sporting the blonde pixie cut found a comfortable seat inside of Paris’ lap and the other replaced Jasper’s spot on the loveseat beside Antonio.

“Jasper, I’m sure you remember Shawnee,” Juul reintroduced his fiancée to his childhood friend as if they hadn’t already had the honor of doing so before he or Antonio had even stepped foot inside the townhome. “That’s Paris’ girlfriend, Phylum and their best friend, Angel, who’s pretty familiar with the underground scene, am I right, Angel?”

“Um, yeah,” Angel hesitated to answer, Seagram’s Escape Sangria wine cooler clenched within her hand. “Given I haven’t been in a few months.”

“That’s it!” Juul exclaimed, snapping his fingers.

“What’s it?” Jasper queried in irritation.

“Angel! We could use her as a decoy at the next street fight happenin’ at The Chop Shop in Queens! She can easily side with Kei, get the details on where they’re crashing at and from there, you and Juice’ll have y’all way on getting Kei out.”

Jasper didn’t know whether or not Juul’s plan was actually foolproof, but he didn’t think he had much of a choice at that point. He wasn’t familiar with that territory or it’s kindred, only Kei, so it was best to let him do his job, cause if the circumstances were up to him, he would’ve walked in, guns blazing over his sister.

“Aight, fuck it,” Jasper sighed out, giving in. “What’s the soonest you can get this all lined up?”

“Shit, tonight, but that doesn’t change the fact that the next street fight ain’t scheduled ‘til the end of the month.”

“Ain’t no sense in wasting time then. Let’s make it happen.”

“I’m on it, bro. You got my word.”

ׂ ̣ ○ . ° ♰ 𓈒 ॱ 𓂂 AUTHOR’S NOTE⠀⦂⠀⠀⠀‘’⠀⠀⠀Just to make one thing perfectly clear，I came up with Juul’s name way before this episode of Euphoria aired. I’m talkin’ year ‘20，so don’t even try me，ma’am. I’ll hopefully be seeing y’all the top of next year with a new chapter if my job and other hobbies don’t interfere with that，fingers crossed! Love y’all! Thank y’all for tuning in wit’ me. 'Til next time.⠀⠀⠀‘’

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ziggy baitinger as 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄

⤷ occupation：juul and shawnee’s biological son

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀jasmine cephas jones as 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍𝐄𝐄〝𝐍𝐄𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐄〞

⤷ occupation：juul’s fiancée and blaze’s biological mother

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀jada pinkett smith，circa ‘95 as 𝐏𝐇𝐘𝐋𝐔𝐌

⤷ occupation：paris’ long-term girlfriend

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀meagan good, circa ‘06 as 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋

⤷ occupation：shawnee and phylum’s girlfriend

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀angus cloud as 𝐉𝐔𝐔𝐋

⤷ occupation：1╱3 of the notorious 3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀pharrell williams and tomoaki〝nigo〞nagao, circa ‘06 as 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐒 and 𝐒𝐎𝐋

⤷ occupation：2╱3 of the notorious 3

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀YOU’LL DISCOVER...

⁰⁰⁰.⠀⟆⠀ACT II：〝IMPERIAL OVERSTRETCH.〞 ⁰⁰⁷.⠀⟆⠀CHAPTER SIETE：〝THE MARATHON.〞❪COMING SOON❫! ⁰⁰⁰.⠀⟆⠀PINTEREST BOARD. ⁰⁰⁰.⠀⟆⠀MASTERLIST. ⁰⁰⁰.⠀⟆⠀TAGLIST.

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀HERE!

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⨳𝐌𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐃𝐈𝐀 🐚⋆ Ꮺ ָ࣪ ۰ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀❪taglist❫

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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ⓒ oklcmc⸝ 2022.

[dirtygamesff]

| sʏᴅɴᴇʏ ʟᴇɴᴏɪʀ ✘ ᴋᴇɴᴅᴀʟʟ ᴀɴᴅᴇʀsᴏɴ

| ᴀʟᴇx ʟᴇɴᴏɪʀ ✘ ʙɪᴀɴᴄᴀ ʀᴏᴍᴇʀᴏ

| ᴀᴠᴀ “ʜᴏɴᴇʏ” sᴍɪᴛʜ ✘ ᴇᴍɪʟʏ ʀᴏᴡᴇ

[adeelusionaldiary]

Photographs | A Dave East & Sevyn Streeter Short

Angry wasn’t the word. Falon was livid, but that was more so due to the fact her day was shitty and now to top it off she was locked out of her apartment. How she had managed to misplace her keys was beyond her because she definitely had them when she had left the apartment this morning. Of course, her good for nothing roommate wasn’t home and didn’t care to answer her phone or respond back to any of her text messages that her iPhone marked as delivered. The cheery on top of  the cake, she had to use the bathroom. Hearing footsteps she looked up from her spot on the floor. It wasn’t her roommate, but her next door neighbor. They only knew each other in passing, occasionally throwing a smile each others way along with some general pleasantries, but that was the extent of their relationship. That was gonna change today all in the name of Falon not peeing on herself.

  “Can I use your bathroom? I’m locked out and I don’t -”

  “Yeah, ma.”

 “It’s Falon,” she said correcting him.

 These NY dudes and their slang. The term ma irked her soul because for one she was no one’s mother. Try explaining that to them and they’d fill your head with lies about how it was a term of endearment. Silly niggas.

  Rising from her spot on the floor he opened the door with Falon behind him. Her eyes took in his apartment, immediately noting the different layout his held. She was kinda jealous. His apartment was much nicer and no doubt his rent showed that.

 “Bathroom’s right there.” He said pointing her in the direction.

 “Thanks. Can you hold this for me real quick?”

He turned to find her holding out her camera bag. He took it from her and she ran off as if she was in a marathon. He shook his head as a chuckle escaped his lip before he found his way into the kitchen, placing her bag down on the counter. Taking off his jeans jacket he threw it over one of the barstools before aimlessly rummaging through the fridge, but nothing appealed to his taste right now. Fuck it! He went into the master bedroom and retrieved a pre rolled blunt. He’d smoke after home girl left. Exiting his bedroom was the exact moment she exited the bathroom. She glanced in his direction as he approached her and silently they walked to the kitchen where he had left her things.

 “Thank you so much. You are a life saver.”

 “No problem.” He responded.

   “Well let me get out of your hair.” She removed her camera bag from the counter and got ready to leave. She didn’t know where Lauren was but at this point she knew the girl wasn’t coming back and she’d probably needed to start scrolling through her contacts to find arrangements for the night.

 “Just chill here till your people come back.”

 “I couldn’t. You look like you’ve had a long day and wanna unwind. I don’t wanna impose.”

 “You’re not. Besides I’d feel like an asshole sending you back into the hallway to just wait around. At least wait around and be comfortable.”

 What if Lauren didn’t show up till the AM and what if no one was able to take her in for the night? Besides she was all in this mans personal space and didn’t even know his damn name.  

 “I don’t even know your name an-”

 “Dave.”

 “Dave, I’m all in your space and knowing my roommate her ass isn’t showing up until the morning. I just really feel like - ”

 “Ma,” Falon shot him a glare even though she was really in no position to do so “Falon, you’re good. I got a spare bedroom. You could leave in the morning once your roommate gets here.”

 “Why are you doing this?”

 “I mean if you really want you could go back to waiting in the hallway.” He responded.

 “I’m sorry. I just –“ ‘Stop overthinking Falon not everyone is an asshole,��� She chastised herself. “Thank you Dave. I appreciate it.”

 It felt like that’s what she’d been saying all night.

 “Do you mind?” He asked holding up the blunt. Sure he was in his home and truly could do whatever the fuck he wanted with no regards, but now he had a guest to accommodate and no matter how much he wanted the stresses of the day to roll off his shoulder he didn’t want to be rude.

 “Before you do that can I ask you something. You’ve already been gracious enough and this might be asking for too much, but I might as well shoot my shot, right?”

 His eyebrows rose in confusion. Was she hitting on him?

 “Can I snap a few pictures of you for my photography class? You just have this unique look about you which is funny even coming out my mouth.”

  “Word?” He asked intrigued by her words.

 “Yeah.” She said as she pulled out her camera. “Typically a guy like you isn’t my cup of tea, but it’s just something about you and I’m not sure I could pinpoint it.”

 “A guy like what?” He hoped some ignorant shit didn’t come out her mouth or he just might go off.  

  “Heavily tatted. Never been my style. Always liked a few tattoos here and there but on you it really works. Not to mention I like my coffee black, no milk, no sugar.”

 He chuckled before speaking up.  “Where you want me?”

 “We can go back to my –” Before she could finish her sentence the reality of her situation sank in and she let out a groan. She was going to kill Lauren. At least she had her camera bag and could swap out a few lenses if needed.  Glancing around she pinpointed the couch. They could set up some nice shots there.She walked over to the couch and Dave sat down getting comfortable. Falon quickly got herself set up and now she was ready.

 “Test shot.” She took a photo and quickly reviewed it on her camera. She made the appropriate adjustments to the setting.  Nodding everything was a go.

 “Look natural. Don’t think about it.” She said before the camera hid her face and she began taking pictures.

 A few seconds later she stopped. He looked like he was thinking and it turn it was showing on camera. Removing the camera from her face she spoke up.

 “Don’t look at the camera. Look pass me. You have really intense eyes and that can definitely help these photos out.”

 She went back to snapping and he was doing much better this go round. She knew she had some great shots and if kept up the work this would really help her out with classwork. Her professor criticized her work and that had been in her head all day, but she was letting it go and knew these pictures would prove him wrong.

 “Can you stand for me?” Falon asked and Dave did as requested. She looked around before going to kitchen and grabbing his jacket he had on earlier. Crossing the room she hadned it to him.

“Sorry. I just need to switch it up a little bit with a slightly different look. I’m going to move around a little. Try and follow the camera around a little bit. You don’t necessarily have a move around but adjust yourself accordingly.”

 She went back to snapping managing to catch a few shots of him putting on the jacket. This time she utilized the space moving around the space so she could get different angles and looks. This man had some real talent even if he didn’t recognize it. Maybe her photos could show him a different side of himself he didn’t even realized her possessed. 

 Placing the camera down she began looking through the photos.

 “How far do your tattoos extend?”

 “Both arms, my neck and a few pieces of my chest and abdomen. Why?” He asked though he already had an idea of where she was going with it.

 “Would you mind?” The shirt flew over his head and Falon had to keep herself from drooling. Why did she find this man so fine? He wasn’t her cup of tea, or coffee, but maybe he could be her water to cure all this thirst she suddenly had. Moving around his naked back now greeted her from the opposite side of the couch. It was such a contrast from the front that was ink filled.

 “Wow. Do you plan to do anything to your back?”

 “Eventually when I think of something good.”

 “Can you hold your arms out straight? “

 She took a few shots before she asked him to turn around and instructed him on what she wanted to accomplish in these last few shots. She wanted his tattoos to stand out though his abs had no problem calling attention to themselves. Upon taking the final shot she began going through her photos and she knew she had enough material to work with for class.

 She removed her iPhone from her back pocket and snapped a picture. Portrait mode along with that depth effect doing wonders for her photo.

 “Wait, what’s that for.”

 “My personal stash.”

 “Oh really. What you bout to do with it?”

 “Keep your ear close to the wall tonight and find out.” She said before heading in the direction of his spare bedroom. “Goodnight.” She yelled before he heard the door. He shook his head laughing to himself. Shorty was a trip.

[tidalwave-fiction]

Chapter One:Painfully Reality/Scared Determination

Chapter Inspiration: Isyss Single For The Rest Of My Life

Zeela Armond

I'd just gotten off from working my shift at the hotel, and all i wanted was food, a hot bath, and the bed. But I'd promised my sister that we would talk, and i owe her that. Our relationship has suffered tremendously, and it was all my fault. I'd drop the ball when it came to us, and our relationship, and going through everything that I've been through with Dave, has me taking steps back, and taking the blame for my actions in the relationships that matter the most.

After all its just my parents, my sister, and myself. We are literally all we have, and I know i haven't shown them the love and respect they deserve. I knew I had enough time to change clothes, and cook, since my sister had almost a four hour drive from St. John's up here to Richmond. As i moved about the spacious hotel room, i mad a mental note to get a card to thank the hotel's manager Mr. Jerry for not only giving me a job, but up grading my room, he didn't have to do any of that.

And I was starting a new chapter in my life, so i wanted people to know that I'd appreciate the little things. As I moved about the little kitchen, I grabbed all the seasoning I would need, and began to season the ground meat I'd taken out earlier. Once I was done with that, I grabbed a small pot, and placed it on the stove. Cutting the burner on medium, I then slid over to the refrigerator, and pulled out the Velveeta cheese, closing the frig I placed the cheese on the counter, then put the seasoned meat into the pot so that I could start browning it.

Before I could move on to the next step, there was some hard rapping placed on the door. Wiping my hands on the hand towel, I shuffled over to the door, and snatched it opened. The small smile I was wearing on my face, immediately fell, as I stared at not only my sister but also my parents. Instinctively I stepped back, placing a protective hand over my stomach. "Hi," I said unsure, as they stepped inside. "My baby." Mother cooed, all ready on the verge of tears, as she pulled me into a hug. My arms wrapped around her, and I swear I didn't realize how much I missed, and needed my mother.

"Tell me whats going on, no matter what it is, it won't change how much I love you, nor will it stop me for being there for you." She told me as she broke our embrace, and with those few words, she'd managed to open the flood gates. I pulled her back into me, all I wanted right now was to cry on her shoulder, and be rocked in her arms. "Baby girl dry those eyes, and come and talk to us." My father spoke. I nodded my head at the whispered words of love, an encouragement my mother was speaking to me.

I stepped out of her embrace, and wiped my eyes, as we all shuffled over to the little living room. I took a deep sigh, before telling them the lame way that David had broken up with me. "And I'm pregnant." I stated. "Well what are your plans?" My dad asked, I took another deep breath before I spoke, "I'm gonna finish out this semester, then transfer to St. Johns." "What are you doing about money, besides what we put in your account every month?" My mother asked. "I work here at the hotel, and Mr. Jerry already said that he'll let me do a hardship transfer." "You know you are the reason why i'm not dating." My sister blurted out.

"What do you mean Zeena?" I asked her perplexed, i wasn't even mad that she'd just blurted that out. It's a habit that we picked up from our father. Zavier was a lot of things, however he didn't handle stress nor stressful situations well, and would blurt out the first thing that came to his mind, and unfortunately my sister and I inherited that trait.

"There's this boy that likes me, but I can't bring myself to date him, he plays ball and I watched how you lost yourself in Dave and I just can't take that chance." I sighed, I never intended to have my actions, have a negative effect on my sister. "Zee I don't handle change well, and when Katrina happened I lost so many friends, was placed in a new environment, first i used you, mommy, and daddy, as my crutch. Then when Dave came along he was just someone else that I used as a crutch. He understood me the same way you all did, he played ball just like I did. Instead of talking about how going through Katrina made me feel, I just clung to the people I had around me."

"And now I'm paying for it, I'm scared as hell that not only am I going to be someones mother, but that I'm also about to be a single parent, in college. Yeah I was down, and sad. Hell I still find myself crying from time to time, but a month in a half has gone by, and I've had plenty of time to think and reflect, I'm determined to make it. I have no choice but to make it, in six months I'm going to be holding my little bundle of joy. Never be afraid to live your life because of things you see other people go through, besides we are alike but we are so different. You wouldn't allow your self to get lost in a relationship." I spoke as honestly as I could.

"Baby girl hearing you speak, and the tone you used, I know you're going to be ok. It'll be hard, it won't be easy at all. But with our love and support you'll make it. I know you will I have faith in you." My father told me then smiled. "You damn right you're going to make it, hell if we have to move up here we will, we have your back all the way." My mother added as she squeezed my leg. "Don't even look towards me you know no matter what i have your back, your my only sister, carrying my only niece or nephew." Zeena said after a short pregnant pause.

I smiled as I stood to my feet to check on my meat. Picking my cooking spoon up, I stirred the meat around making sure it didn't stick to the pot. Pulling out two cans of Rotel, I opened them up, then poured them into the pot, then moved over to cutting the cheese up. "What you cooking?" My dad asked. "Rotel something quick." I stated. Before casting my eyes upon Zeena once she joined me. "You know we aren't done talking right." "I know." "Good you have us all weekend long, so I'ma let you spend some time with the parentals, but we are most definitely going to have our sister time." Zeena spoke with finality as if she was the older sibling. I smirked as i hummed as my response, letting her know I'd heard her.

My father cut on the late game ESPN was showing, while my mother sat curled up on the sofa with a book, Zeena fumbled with my phone, before Toni Braxton's Love Shoulda Brought You Home, flowed lowly through the speakers of my phone. "So are you really scared?" Zeena asked in between mumbling the words, and swaying her hips. I chortled lowly. "More like petrified but I know I'ma make it. I have to make it, I'm about to have a little person counting on me. Failure isn't an option." "This is the Zeela I know." Zee stated as she bumped my hip with hers. I simply smiled at her.

I never noticed how much I missed the little time, and things we did as a family. Us all together, put me in the mind frame of life before Katrina. Zeena and myself would give our mother a night off from cooking every week, and while we were in the kitchen cooking, my dad would be watching a game, or ESPN, while my mother sat next to him curled into his side reading, while Zee and myself, transformed into whatever singer we was listening to.

It's amazing how life's little curve balls could bring about change, and how heartbreak can bring about a will, a drive, determination that you never knew exited inside of you. As long as i had breath in my body I was going to make sure i succeed, and that I become the best mother in the whole entire world.