#i didnt do any actual damage to my wrists but they are in pain and i can already feel that its gonna get worse
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jonny-b-meowborn · 1 year ago
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Guess who fucked her wrists up during work because he refused to go on a single break because he felt like that's the only way to prove she's not useless since her autism stops her from doing anything a person his age "should" do
#its me. if you couldn't guess#i did that#i didnt do any actual damage to my wrists but they are in pain and i can already feel that its gonna get worse#and ill probably have an awful time trying to sleep because of it#and look.#i know that im not useless#i know that prople who have similar or bigger struggles aremt useless either#i dont believe that anyone's worth depends on having a job or being productive or whatever#i do know that#but sometimes even when you know something you dont feel it#yknow what i mean#and this blueberry plantation is the only job i can have right now#im not built for a dayjob but im able to work for a few hours with saplings every now and then#though that is. very physically tiring#which is also extra frustrating to me as a young person#because the other older ladies at the job always make me feel like im not allowed to be tired or in pain because im young#so i never say that im tired until im alone w my mom#and i want to prove that im not a useless parasite. i can do some work. so i might as well give my all#and dont take any breaks#im not trying to excuse hurting myself#but you know. its hard to think straight and respect myself sometimes#sometimes its easier to hurt myself in ways that make other people think good of me#im treating myself to some snacks now tho#gonna go buy myself some chips and smoke s cigarette and watch silly videos and play games and go to bed#and yes i know that being kind to myself after i was cruel to myself doesnt fix that#i shouldn't have the mindset of#yeah im being unnecessarily cruel to myself but at least im gonna reward myself later :)#but y'know what can you do#(go to therapy i should go to therapy)#bee buzz
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stardust-poet · 3 months ago
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Leo valdez x Apollo!reader
Pt2
°•~《☆》~•°
A/n: wrote this fic out of nowhere. Definitely didnt start out as a percy fic... let me know if you want a part 2!
Warnings: slight cussing, kinda gore stuff but honestly nothing :)
Enjoy!
°•~《☆》~•°
"Again?" You groan as you see Leo stumble through the infirmary door, bloody, bruised, and a shit eating grin on his face, for the seventh time this week.
It's Friday, capture the flag. The infirmary was busier than ever, so Leo showing up (again) was more of an annoyance than a flattering gesture as per usual. You didn't have time for his sassy-sarcastic-filled conversations.
His grin somehow grows wider when he hears your voice, your tone more annoyed each time he walked into the infirmary. it seemed impossible how he could grin like that when he was probably in a hell of a lot of pain.
You checked over the damages. Black eye, minor scratches on his palms, clutching his own stomach, and bruises everywhere. He was probably bleeding under his shirt, too.
It crossed your mind that maybe that was done on purpose, so you had to take his shirt off. You quickly shook off the thought. It was probably not true and just something you made up, right? Right?
"Yeah... yeah, hi." Leo mumbled, the pain evident in his voice. You scoff and look around for one of your siblings to take Leo off your hands. You already had so many patients on your plate. You couldn't deal with Leo right now.
"I'll get Will to fix you up, Leo. I don't have time -" You started to say before:
"No! No... p-please?" Leo whined, vulnerability laced within his tone of voice.
You frowned, a little confused but not giving in.
"Leo Valdez, I don't have time to deal with this--with you right now. There's too much to do, and we're running low on supplies and-and." You cut your rant off with a heavy sigh.
"No," You said.
"Please, y/n? I'm... I'm hurt." Leo pouts, though he sounded serious for once
You groan and grab his wrist, triggering a wince out of him. Gods, he was bruised everywhere.
You lead Leo into an empty room, practically shove him on the infirmary bed, and lock the door.
Leo chuckled and winced, but there was no sarcastic comment on how you dragged him here. This was the most concerning thing of all.
You turn to face him, seeing a grimace on his face though he tried (and failed) to keep a nonchalant expression.
"Rate your pain 1-10." You mumble to him, almost in annoyance.
"0 out of ... out of ten. Wouldn't...Wouldn't recommend."
"Okay, repeating words but keeping a sarcastic attitude. I'll put that at a 9..."
You take Leos arm and inspect the damage. Not much, a few minor scratches, and one bigger scratch, but nothing major. You checked his other arm to find mostly the same things.
"You better be thankful for this, I have so much to deal with right now, and you aren't helping." You said to Leo while rolling up his shirt sleeve to see his left shoulder.
"Yeah, well, gotta see....see, my favorite doctor." Leo beamed, though he stumbled over words. You frowned.
"Where's it hurt most?" You asked gently after seeing nothing major that would cause his stumbling.
Leo pointed to his lower torso.
Shit.
You grimace. This might be a worse injury then you thought.
"Take ... take off your shirt." You tell him, looking away for just a second. Shitshitshi-
Leo grins like the devil and says: "Well, jeez, y/n. Take me out to dinner first." Before slowly removing his shirt, peeling it away from a nasty cut with a wince.
When Leo finally got his shirt over his head, you saw just how many scars he had. Not ones that were fresh and still bleeding, but ones that were months, years old.
Of course, you have scars of your own, but with how many healed scars Leo had... it couldn't be good in any way.
"...damaged goods, I know." Leo chuckled half heartedly. It shattered your heart into a billion different pieces.
"No," you whispered while rummaging through drawers for supplies. The actual bleeding cut on his left lower torso was pretty damn bad.
"You're not damaged goods, leo."
- You grabbed bandages -
"and even if you were, that wouldn't change the way people see you. You -" You cut yourself off, not sure why you were going on this big rant trying to convince Leo he was worth something to someone - to everyone.
It was the truth, but why did you care for the obnoxious, flirty, son of hephestus?
°•~《☆》~•°
Yay I'm finally done. Part 2 anyone?
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saltwatersweetner · 4 years ago
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End Me
Eren x Reader
A Prequel of Sorts. Eren never fought for control preferring the security of your hold on him but you could never fully domesticate a wild animal it seemed.
Part 1 Part 3
CW: Manipulation, Toxic Relationship, Attempted Murder, Unhealthy coping mechanisms all in all mildly unsettling themes.
Eren knew how to be good—painfully so. He also knew how to be bad—concerningly so. He was a creature of habit. He did whatever he decided was best for him at the moment and maybe thats what lead you to your current stare down.
“Eren I said move.���
“Fuck what you said.”
Frowning you tried to think what honestly could have brought this mood upon him. It couldn’t have been because you were going out he always understood your random need to socialize. You also can’t remember purposefully setting him off, not in the mood and you weren’t completely cruel to ignore his random—even for him mood change—more in tune to your partners mood swings and emotions than you were to you own.
Carefully reaching out for him you raise an eyebrow when he moves away from your—for now—gentle touch “Are you really upset or just being a brat?”
“Stop talking to me.”
Huffing you choose to ignore his attitude and slip your coat over your shoulders just in time for a knock to be heard from the front door. With Eren on your heels you open the door for your friend.
“Y/N I called but you didn’t answer so I just came up.”
You get a flashback of Eren throwing a tantrum not even 30 minutes ago and launching your device from you 6th floor apartment “Yeah I dropped my phone off the balcony but lets go—Eren be good.”
His glare turns even more deadly when Reiner politely wraps an arm around your shoulders. Closing the door behind you Reiner laughs into the quiet hall “Be good? What is he your dog?”
“Something like that.”
Reiner was a friend an attractive one at that and Eren didn’t like it at all. He hated anyone that was even remotely close to you because you already didn’t like anyone but with Reiner it was different. You let him touch you and hold you.
Eren hated it, he hated it so much—and to make matters worse you didn’t care about his feelings—not one bit.
After a night of bar hopping and watching Bertholdt make a fool of himself in front of Annie, Reiner once again brought you home.
“It was nice seeing you, without your guard dog.” The face he made at the thought of Eren wasn’t a nice one.
“Aw sweetheart don’t be mean.” Reaching up you hold his warm cheek in your slightly chilled hand.
You knew jealousy when you saw it, could detect the slightest change of emotion when it was presented to you. He leans into your hold like a cat seeking out affection—much different than Eren’s wild way of seeking you out.
“Don’t be jealous my dear use your words.”
Reiners face was slowly moving closer to yours and you smirk in amusement. It would seem you had a knack for catching the attention for boys who were looking to be controlled.
“Y/N....”
Your door swings open before Reiner can kiss you and Eren is looking beyond livid. Reiner freezes his fight or flight telling him to run but you keep him steady with your palm.
“Were you waiting for me?”
Eren’s nod is slow and deliberate his eyes still glaring at the nonexistent space between you and the blond.
“Then that ends our time together, goodnight Reiner.” He shivers in what you think is glee from the acknowledgment of the time you spent with him.
“Goodnight.” He doesn’t acknowledge Eren any longer and hurries out to the elevator.
Turning back to the aforementioned boy you make a motion with your wrist “Move.”
When he eventually does get out of your way your hyper aware of the way he sticks to you almost like glue. Throwing your coat over the back of your couch you stretch and lead him to the kitchen.
“You hungry? All I’ve done is drink tonight I could really eat—“
He swings you into the wall by the neck. The alcohol in your system made it incredibly difficult to feel the pain you knew was blossoming up your back so all you could do was stare at the man before you.
You saw the endless sea of madness that unlike you he didn’t bother to cover up. Everyone found the look endearing on him like he never left that childishness behind but you knew the truth.
You could slowly feel yourself starting to suffocate. You didn’t bother panicking because as it had it Eren had all the power right now. If he or you moved the wrong way your neck was as good as snapped.
“Why did you let him touch you?”
Putting a calm hand on his wrist you try and fail to alleviate some of the pressure being forced down on your windpipe “Why. Does. It. Matter.”
Eren was breathing unevenly stuck between fighting his impulses and actually causing some damage “You’re mine you’re—you’re not supposed to—“
“Says. Who?” That makes him let go.
As it would have it you and Eren weren’t dating in any shape or form but he belonged to you. You brought him pleasure that he couldn’t find anywhere else. He was entirely devout to you and you only, all on his own fruition. From the moment he’d accidentally bumped into you and saw through the mask you wore. From the moment he stalked you from the moment he’d shown himself to you begging for salvation.
He wanted to play the game—wanted to be entertained in the morbid way regular people would get sick to their stomachs at—and you let him. You found him amusing enough to keep around but you refused to belong to anyone but yourself.
He was losing the game and fast. As his god you couldn’t be bothered with feeling bad for him.
“Now we can eat or you can sit here and starve whats it gonna be?”
Eren looked terribly unwell like he was about to fold in on himself “u-um eat please.”
You’d never seen him look so unsure before and it made you excited. How would he cry for you next? Would he try to fight more, yell and scream? Or would it be silent and broken?
Flicking your wrist you busy yourself in the kitchen “Good choice, go sit.”
He does as he’s told mumbling words to himself along the way. Was it cruel? Maybe. But you couldn’t be bothered considering how much of a thorn in your side he’d been all day.
You wanted to break him more and till he was nothing but crushed up stars slipping away in the wind. You almost felt bad for how much you were going to ruin him.
But he was your property after all to do with what you wanted. No one could stop you even if they tried. Especially because he let you and thats what made keeping him around so worth it.
You didn’t have the capability of feeling anything close to love no matter how fond of the boy you actually were. So you settled with ownership—they were damn near synonymous anyways.
So you proceeded as normal—well as normal as you are. You order the food you feed him and you move on to wash the dishes. He’d eventually get out of his feelings because he didn’t have the mental capacity to dwell on certain emotions for too long. It was all but routine now.
“Eren bring me whatever dishes you left lying around.”
“...ok.”
Filling the sink with a mixture of water soap and a drop of bleach you wait patiently for the boy to bring what you requested. Turning off the tap You almost get impatient when it seemed like he was taking forever.
“Eren—“ you’re grabbed by the back of the head and shoved face first into the sudsy water.
You try with all your strength to get your head out of the sink but Eren just doesn’t stop. He’d never...hurt you before? Never acted out in this manner it startled you maybe.
And you were slowly but surely drowning.
When he finally does let you up you drop to the floor taking in large gulps of air. Your eyes stung from the mix of bleach and soapy water and you were suddenly freezing.
“Dont,” you look up to eren to see he once again wore that livid expression.
“Dont you ever think about leaving me do you understand?” His breathing was already heavy but now it was slowly turning into hyperventilation. “I’ll kill you I’ll fucking kill you if you ever l-leave me.”
You watched him begin to sob, dropping on his knees he crowded closer to you looking every bit of the victim he made himself.
“Im sorry I’m good I’ll be good I swear!” He tries to touch you but you smack his hands away making him sob harder.
You knew Eren you knew him. His inclination of violence had never been towards you and yet?
“Hit me hit me hit me im sorry please im good I promise.”
Those were the only words that made sense to you in the moment. You were a violent creature by nature one who prioritized your own life before anyone else’s, you’ve never done anything you didnt doubt you’d be able to get out of and yet? Eren had surprised you and not in a good way.
Your eyes come back into focus and you see the pitiful look he wore as if he hadn’t just almost killed you “Hit me please?”
And so you do.
You punch him right in the face with all your strength causing him to fly back against the tiles and you don’t stop there. You let out all the frustration from your near death experience out onto his body completely aware of the blissed out smile he now sported.
Regardless your mind was going 1 million miles per hour as one thing became clear. Eren was slipping out of your control and fast. One day you feared he’d be the one in control and that wasn’t a game you wanted to play.
You’re in control.
You were IN control
You not him.
You.
You freeze. Fist inches from his face.
It was like your body was in forced reboot you couldn’t move your thoughts finally spiraled too far and too fast for you to reach.
You weren’t in control?
Starring at the needy expression on his face you came to the horrific realization that maybe you’d been playing in his hands all this time. He’d been able to get anything he ever wanted out of you—he knew it too.
Did you really—no you couldn’t be right?
“I’m good see?”
Wrong—you were in so fucking deep.
Slowing your breathing you lower your once trembling fist “Get. Out.”
“Huh?”
Climbing off his chest you wipe the remaining water off your face “Get the fuck out I dont wanna see you.”
Eren hadn’t expected this outcome considering how hurt he looked “B-but where am I supposed to go?”
It was a stupid question you both knew he had his own dorm to himself but he’d been so used to sleeping with you every night that he couldn’t imagine being anywhere else.
Rolling your eyes you til your head “I dont care.”
“I cant sleep without you.”
“Cry about it.”
Hauling his shocked form up and out of your home you slam the door shut and immediately turn all three locks ignoring his soft cries from the other side.
Pulling at your wet shirt you could feel the breakdown coming. How did he do it? How’d he make your carefully crafted control snap?
Going into your room you lock that door as well before snatching the throw blanket from the end of your bed and a pillow. Going into your walk-in closet you close the door behind you and navigate in the dark to the farthest corner and sit.
You sit and sit and sit and sit and sit...and then you scream.
You scream until your lungs are raw and your voice is gone and you’re not sure when exactly you started scratching at your face but the stinging thats left behind is brutal.
You needed to think.
You needed a plan.
You needed—fuck you didnt know.
But you did know Eren was about to become a much bigger problem.
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feeling-uncomfy · 4 years ago
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Mafia AU (split into 3 part!)
With over 36000 words I am proud to finally give this to you!
Fair warning, there is blood, fighting, torture (also referenced) and panic attacks mentioned in this story, so be cautious!
Hope you enjoy!
Hawks sat at the table, looking as calm as ever. Tokoyami sat next to him, shoulders tense. He bounced his leg in anticipation, waiting for the other dealers to arrive. Hawks patted his back gently. "Calm down, I promise, security is extra tight. No one's getting away with shit." Tokoyami's leg stopped moving from under the table, but he wasn't convinced.
The door opened to reveal a man. His hair was long and blonde, sitting dead straight, and he had a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He was tall and lean, not too built up, but Hawks was sure he could throw a punch. He plopped down across from them like he owned the place.
Behind him came the opposite. He had short hair that was tied up, and Tokoyami felt his body involuntarily tensing again as he took in the scars littering the mans body. Hawks kept his hand firmly on his shoulder, and he took a breath. The man sat down much more cautiously than his partner did, sizing the pair up. Hawks grinned at the man, who scowled in return.
The first man spoke up. "So! I see we're late, hope you didnt get too impatient." Hawsk laughed easily, hand slipping away from Tokoyami. "Trust me, we weren't waiting too long, Yamada. Now, about that offer...?" Yamada lit up. "But of course! Firstly, who's this cutie?" Tokoyami jolted as he was addressed. "This is..." Hawks debated on telling a lie, but decided that Yamada was safe. "He's my brother. Now, who's that." Hawks pointed the attention away from his younger brother.
The man in question scoffed. "This is Aziawa. He's my bodyguard and most trusted partner." Yamada slung his arm over Aziawa's shoulder. Aziawa glared at the pair across from the table. "He's a little young to be involved in all this, don't you think?" Aziawa's eyes softened slightly as he looked Tokoyami up and down. Tokoyami shrugged and leaned backwards slightly.
Hawks took over. "He's more capable than most of my staff, so he's staying. The deal, Yamada?" Hawks let one arm fall, and grabbed a briefcase from his side. While bringing it back up, Hawks made sure his gun was at easy access. Yamada nodded enthusiastically and brought forward his own package.
Tokoyami watched them both open, curious. Aziawa leaned forward, arm subtlety reaching over Yamada's front. Both briefcases were opened. "How much is in there? We aren't here to get scammed." Aziawa said, sounding bored. Tokoyami knew that wasn't good. If he seemed bored, that meant he was confident enough that he could kick their asses. Tokoyami hoped it wouldn't come to that.
"There's the amount you asked for." Hawks said. "If you're concerned, you can always double check before you leave." Hawks had that aura of 'dont test me' floating around. It was a subtle thing not many could recognize. Tokoyami swallowed when Aziawa's glare landed on him. "You're the only alibi he has. Is there the right amount of cash in there?" Aziawa's snapped at him. Tokoyami hesitated for a split second before answering. "It's all there. I was present when it was filled." Tokoyami informed him, voice wavering towards the end.
Damn it.
Aziawa stared at him for a few more minutes, before sighing. "Fine, seems legit." Yamada smiled and they swapped cases. And just like that, it was over. "Our ride home should be here in an hour." Aziawa informed Yamada, who laughed. "Looks like we've got time to kill! You wanna get some food?" Hawks nodded, falling peckish. Tokoyami shrugged, he still felt his nerves jumping.
"Right, well, Aziawa can stay with you, and Hawks and I can go get food." Tokoyami's head snapped up. Alone, with him? Hawks pondered on the thought, before turning to Tokoyami. "It's up to you, if you wanna come, you can." Aziawa scoffed. "Just go. Nothing's going to happen." Tokoyami froze, and Hawks stood and looked at Aziawa. "Yeah, sure... we'll be back in a minute, okay?"
Tokoyami didnt have a chance to respond, Yamada dragged Hawks out the door. Tokoyami and Aziawa were left alone. At first, nothing was said, there was this awkward silence that filled the room. Tokoyami resisted the urge to get up and leave. He didnt trust this, he didnt feel like he could relax. He didnt trust Aziawa. Without warning, Aziawa addressed him. "What's your name?" Tokoyami jerked to look at him.
"My name?" Aziawa sighed and looked at him. "Yeah. Your name. What is it?" Tokoyami couldn't bring himself to look away. "Tokoyami." He mumbled, breaking eye contact. Aziawa didnt respond. The silence fell again. "Are you actually Hawks's brother? Or is that just some game he's got going on?" Tokoyami looked over at Aziawa again, to see something flash in his eyes. An emotion Tokoyami couldn't name.
"Yes, Hawks and I are siblings." Tokoyami spoke as clearly as he could, his nerves jumping again. Aziawa looked at him. "Where're you parents?" Tokoyami didnt answer. Aziawa raised a brow but didnt push any further. Tokoyami looked at the ground, listening for any sounds.
Twenty minutes went by. Another thirty passed, and Yamada and Hawks hadn't come back yet. "Where are those idiots?" Aziawa grumbled, walking towards the door. There was a sudden loud noise, and the sounds of gunfire. "Get down!" Aziawa yelled, grabbing Tokoyami's arm and pulling them both down. Tokoyami let out a panicked noise as the door banged open. Aziawa had shoved the table onto its side, and he had his gun at the ready. Tokoyami froze as a gun was cocked.
The first round hit the table. There was a horrible sound of metal-on-metal that had Tokoyami covering his ears. The second round came soon enough, and the second the sound stopped Aziawa had leaned over and shot twice. There was a choking sound and a body hit the ground. Tokoyami took in a shuddering breath, panic forming and his chest squeezed. "...Kid? Kid, look at me." Aziawa took Tokoyami's shoulder, and he jerked.
"Okay, okay. Listen to me." Aziawa held fast, forcing Tokoyami to look at him. "Here's what we're gonna do. You hold onto this." Aziawa pulled out a thin piece of material. "And tie it to this." Aziawa wrapped it around Tokoyami's wrist and Aziawa wrist. "And we wont lose each other. Okay? It stretches, so dont worry."
Tokoyami felt the fabric rubbed against his wrist, and he breathed in shakily, but nodded. "Great, we're leaving now." Tokoyami looked up. "Where are we going?" Aziawa shrugged. "We're going to the main entrance, and we'll look for Hawks and Yamada." Tokoyami looked unsure.
"You ever use a gun before?" When Tokoyami shook his head, Aziawa sighed and showed him how. "Now, you shoot if you feel like you need to, okay?" Tokoyami nodded, and they left.
The damage wasn't too bad, and they managed to get to the main entrance relatively easily. Yamada was standing among limp bodies, laughing like a mad man. "Oh, Aziawa! Good, you and the kid aren't hurt!" Tokoyami felt awkward as the fabric was cut, and the three went around, and they met up with Hawks, who was fighting another man. Hawks went down hard, and hopped back up and punched the guy in the face. He shot once, and the man lay still.
He looked up and saw Tokoyami, and rushed forward. "There you are! Are you okay?!" Hawks scooped Tokoyami up, checking for injuries. Tokoyami shook his head. "I'm okay, are you alright?" Hawks laughed. "Obviously! Now, let's get rid of these assholes." Hawks put Tokoyami down and turned.
There was a gunshot, making all four people jump. There was a woman standing at the top of the stairs, smiling. "Now, guns down, boys." Yamada growled, but when the gun was shot near his feet, they compiled. Hawks dropped his gun, as did Aziawa and Yamada. The woman grinned. She pointed the gun at Aziawa and Tokoyami, who were standing side-by-side.
"Over here, now." It wasnt a request. Hawks growled under his breath as Tokoyami and Aziawa made their way over. "First things first." The woman shot Aziawa's leg, and he fell down with a pained grunt. Tokoyami tried to catch him. "Now, pretty bird, be a dear and follow my friend over there outside." Tokoyami looked over at the person standing at the door. He had no weapons, though by the way he was built, he didnt need any weapons.
Tokoyami begrudgingly started walking. He got halfway, turned and pulled the gun Aziawa gave him out and aimed. He should have accounted for the fact he hadn't done this before, and wasnt prepared for the jolt that went through his arms. He was sent back slightly, and lost his footing. Hawks yelled out, and Tokoyami couldn't tell what kind of yell it was.
He got up, shaking. Hawks was at his side, saying something. His ears were ringing, and he couldn't hear anything. Hawks picked him up just as the door behind him burst open. Endeavor came in, men at his side. The woman was unconscious on the ground, having been shot in the back.
"Tokoyami? Fumikage, can you hear me?" Hawks's voice became clearer. "Yeah, I can hear you." Tokoyami mumbled, his hands gripping his jacket tight to hide that they were shaking. Hawks laughed softly. "Right, okay. Lets go, Endeavor can deal with this bitch." Hawks spat, looking at the woman.
Tokoyami stared. He did that. "Is she..." Tokoyami didnt want to say it. Hawks stared at him. "No, she's fine. Dont worry about her." Tokoyami nodded, and the pair walked out, Yamada and Aziawa at their side.
Hawks figured this was a once-off thing, but he was wrong.
"So, that bitch failed..." Shigaraki glared at the camera feed. "Oh well, time to try something else. Dabi." The man in question looked up, a black mask covering the lower half of his face. "Your turn. Get that little bird over here."
Dabi grinned. "I'll have him in a week, tops." Shigaraki grinned. "You better, or I wont hesitate to kill you." Dabi scoffed, and left to prep. His eyes lit up in some form of sick satisfaction.
This was going to be fun.
Part 1 end.
Would you like to see all three parts or suffer waiting for daily updates-?
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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years ago
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not an obituary javier pena x reader
+++++++++
i am in my feels, hello yes, it is sad boi hours. holy shit this is depressing as hell.
tw: strong mentions and themes of self harm, abuse, death, and past traumas. read at your own risk.
to anyone dealing with this it is okay to reach out, to get help, and to even feel this way. what matters most is your health and safety and just know that it absolutely does get better, i promise. i went through it and i know first hand, you will get through this, and you will live a beautiful life.
song: dead butterflies by architects 
tag list: @cynic-spirit
+++++++++
my hands shook as i listened to the ringing of the receiver. i had been crying for hours and my face was still stained by tears. i was only just beginning to calm down, staring at the broken mirror in front of me. god i looked so tired. how did i let this happen again? i said id never let this happen again. well. i guess i hadnt broken my promise yet. i hadnt actually done anything, but the thoughts alone made me feel like i was betraying myself. i squeezed my eyes closed tightly. maybe i should just hang up and let it run its course. then i heard the ringing stop.
"pena."
he said urgently and i felt a sob leave my body.
"hello?"
he asked, a little concerned and the tears started again.
"javi i need help."
i said, crying into the phone as i slid down the wall of my bathroom.
"im leaving now, dont do anything till i get there."
he sounded so worried. but in all fairness he had every right to be. i had told him about my past, at his request, but i still did it. it was hard to hide them given our usual past time so i figured i might as well. he knew where the scars on my body came from. each one had a story that i longed to forget, the new bruises on my wrist just bellow one of them. it was from the rubber band i refused to take off, being apparent of a better habit i had once picked up. it was just enough pain. but what does one do when that isnt enough?
"hurry."
i whispered before the phone went dead. my whole body shook as i kept coming back to the memories of how it felt the first time. god i craved it. i wanted that life back but id come so far. i shook my head as i pressed my forehead into my knees. i just want it to go away. i want the suffering to go away, the memories, the way it felt then and the way it feels now. i could easily let it go now, i knew a million and one ways. but javi was already on his way. i couldnt do that to him. i couldnt let him find me like that. especially not after he'd pushed me to celebrate a decade of being clean. ten whole years of not hurting myself. i almost couldnt believe it. it felt like such a long time when i heard it out loud like that.
"y/n!"
i heard, snapping my attention to the bathroom door as it swung open. javi was staring down at me with a worried look on his face but he sighed in relief when he saw me still fully intact.
"jesus, you scared the shit out of me."
he said, standing beside me and sliding down the wall to sit beside me. i just stared at him, eyes blurry as he looked back to me.
"i cant do it anymore."
i croaked out, feeling another hot tear slip down my cheek. he looked at me with the utmost pity before kissing my forehead and pulling me into his side.
"talk to me, please, what happened?"
he said softly, petting my hair as i pushed my face into his chest. i just shook my head.
"i dont want to feel this way again."
i mumbled against him, moving my hand into his. i looked down at them together as he ran his thumb over the back of my hand.
"when was the last time you left the house?"
he asked and i bit my lip, watching as he turned my hand over. i felt so guilty in that moment. he knew the answer, i hadnt been to work in over a week.
"would you mourn me?"
i asked and he pulled me up, holding my head in his hands and looking between my eyes. i wanted to cry again, seeing now just how broken he was too.
"you know i would."
he said softly and i nodded, closing my eyes but only for a moment. i looked back at him as he pressed his thumbs through the tear tracks on my face, pushing them away.
"but you and i both know i dont do funerals."
he said and i let out a shaky laugh, watching as he tried to flash me a smile, albeit unconvincing.
"i dont think i could trust anyone else to write my eulogy though."
i said and he moved his hands slowly away from me, taking my hand back in his.
"well if i have any say in it, you wont need one for a long while."
i glanced over his face a few times before he stood up, pulling me to my feet too. he brought me out into the living room and it was the first time id really had a good look at the damage id caused. my furniture was all flipped about, glass shattered from the flower vase on my coffee table and the water from it poured out onto the rug. if anything it reflected exactly how i felt about the situation. i sighed at the sight of it.
"ya know,"
i started, taking his attention as we made it passed the wreckage and to the door. he paused as he reached for it.
"once upon a time i wanted so badly for my address to be six feet under."
he looked over my face again as i spoke.
"but even all the depression in the world couldnt make me leave you."
i said and he just stared at me for a second. when i looked down and moved to open the door he pulled me into a tight hug, holding me like id slip away if he let go or loosened his grip. i hugged him back like my life depended on it, and in that moment it felt like it did.
"ill do everything i can to keep you safe."
he whispered before kissing the side of my head. i breathed deeply, feeling some of my stresses melt away as i inhaled him.
"as long as thats true i promise to stay out of the paper."
i said as he pulled away, nodding once at me and opening the door.
"if i ever got that call i dont know what id do with myself."
he confessed as we made our way to the stairs of the apartments that led outside. i side nodded.
"i guess we'll never find out."
i said, offering my pinky as we stepped into the warm open air of the Columbian summer. he just looked at me for a second before interlocking his pinky with mine.
"thats a deal. now lets go get you something to eat, im sure you could use it."
he mentioned and i laughed a little, looping my arm around his as we made our way down the street. i watched the ground for a moment as we walked, thinking how lucky i was to have him in my life. how lucky i was to be able to live for someone that wasnt myself, because the one thing they never tell you is that if you arent tethered to someone it makes it that much easier to let go. now i had someone who would look after me, keep me dependable, and keep me alive. even if he didnt know it. i half smiled at the thought, slipping my hand in his and swinging our arms back and forth. he just looked at me and i kissed his shoulder lightly.
"thank you javier, i dont know what i would do without you."
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happys-crazy-queen22 · 4 years ago
Text
Title: Final Beat Down
Tumblr media
Gif credit @jayhasltud
Requested on wattpad
Hope you all enjoy it
WARNING: ABUSE, ASSAULT, ATTEMPTED RAPE. THREATENING WITH A GUN. TRIGGER WARNING. CAUTION WHEN READING.
He did it again. This time it was one of the worst. Your eye was swollen shut, your ribs were broken. The wheezing told you that. A lung was punctured, probably. He couldn't control himself. You had to get out, just had too. So you went to the only place that you felt safe.
"Y/N, come in". Hank didnt even have to ask why you were there, he just let you in.
"Take off those wet clothes, I'll get you some dry ones". Hank hurried along to his room. You stood in the hall, shivering as you took the wet clothes off. Your body ached with every movement that you made. Biting your lip to stop you from sobbing.
Hank returned with a towel and some clothes. He held up the towel as you got dressed.
"I'll put on some coffee". He sighed as he saw the bruises on your arms and legs. You followed him to the kitchen.
"What was it this time"?
"The same". You whispered as you sat down at the table.
"You need to leave him. You dont deserve what this son of a bitch is doing to you". Hank slammed the kettle down on the stove. He heard you whimper. "Sorry".
"I know. I just can't. I dont know how".
"I'll talk with some people and get you into a womans shelter".
"He'll find me. Then he'll  do worse. I may not survive it then".
Hank shook his head as he grabbed two coffee cups and sat them on the table, he pour the coffee into cup. You wrapped your hands around the mug and took in the heat.
"You need to see a doctor".
"No I'm good".
"It wasn't a question. You need to get checked out. I'll call Will". Hank went to the house phone and got on it. You didnt want to drag anyone else into the mix but you were in serious pain. So much pain that you were struggling not to pass out.
Will arrived in a matter of minutes along with Jay. Hank let Will use his bedroom to check you over. It was a painful process. Every touch sent shock waves of pain through your body. Will bandaged you up and gave you some pain meds to help you sleep. Before he even left you were out.
"How is she"? Hank met Will at the bottom of the stairs.
"Well. A few broken ribs, a punctured lung. Busted lip, a fractured eye socket, luckily he didnt damage her eye. She has bruises up and down her legs and arms. Hand prints around her wrist and throat. Mark's on her back that look like it came from a belt. Right now she's lucky it wasn't worse than this. She needs to get out".
"I've told her that many of times".
"This happened more than once"? Will asked shocked.
"Third time this week".
"Hank, get her out or you'll be trying to solve her murder".
"I know who did it but she wouldn't press charges on him. I've tried to get her to".
"Then you have a girl that doesnt want help". Will frowned as he walked past Hank and out the door.
"If you need anything just call". Jay told Hank.
"Yeah. Thanks". Hank shut the door and blew out a breath he was holding. He went to the couch and sat there thinking.. Soon he drifted off to sleep.
The morning came, Hank was up and ready for work. He didnt want to disturb you so he let you sleep in but when he went up to check on you before he went off to work you weren't there. You hand went out the window, he didnt know why. Figure you were scared to face him or to ashamed but he knew where you were and that you'd be seeing him again.
During Hanks shift he tried not to think about you or your situation but you were on his mind. He called you three, four times. You never answered so after work he was going to stop by your place unannounced. Maybe that boyfriend of yours would be there, but he wouldn't do anything in front of Hank. He was to big of a coward to hurt you with Hank around.
"Hey Jay, I'm going to head out early. I have to stop somewhere". Hank told Jay while he put on his jacket. It was still raining out.
"Okay. You need back-up"? Jay already knew where he was headed. Hank might be a mystery to all but when he really cares about someone his guard is down.
"Nah, I think I'll be fine. Just stay by a phone just in case". Hank chuckled as he walked out the back, heading to his car. He left at the right moment.
"You stupid fucking bitch". Your boyfriend threw you into the wall with such force your shoulder dislocated.
"I'm sorry". You whimpered as you moved your arm, cowering in the corner of the kitchen.
"Then you shouldn't make me mad. I do so much for you and you give no thanks. That's what makes me mad". He jerked you up by your shoulders which hurt like a bitch.
"You're going to give me what I want or else". He threatened with a growl.
"You lay another damn finger on her, your brains will splatter this kitchen. Now put her down easy and step away". Hank had his gun pointed at the back of your abusive boyfriends head. Your boyfriend was nervous, the sweat beads rolling down his forehead. He let you down easy and stepped away from you.
Hank bent down to help you up, you hissed as your arm moved. "You okay"?
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just go".
"You're coming with me. Even if you dont press charges. You're leaving".
"She isnt going anywhere. That bitch owes me".
"You open you fucking mouth one more time, I'll put a bullet in it". Hank gripped the trigger on his gun. Just waiting for him to be stupid.
"I'll go with you Hank".
Hank smiled and wrapped his arm around you, leading you out. Then something stupid happened.
"She ain't going to open her legs for you either old man. You can save her all you want". Your ex boyfriend laughed, sticking up his middle finger.
Hank didnt think he quickly turned around and broke his middle finger. Of course he screamed out like a drama queen.
"I told you what would happen if you opened your mouth again, now didnt I"? Hank took the butt of the gun and smashed into your ex's mouth. He screamed in agony. Spitting out a few teeth.
"Thats for opening your mouth". Hank put his gun in his holster. Balled up his fist and punched him square in the nose. Then just released hell on him. Kicking and punching.  Stomping on his ribs and his broken finger. You were actually enjoying the sight. You didn't know it would have been this great of a feeling to see someone else have complete control over him, like he did once on you.
"Hank". You quietly spoke getting his attention also you didnt want him to kill him.
"One second". Hank told you. He reached behind him getting his cuffs. "Your under arrest for assault on a police officer". Hank jerk him over to his stomach and put the handcuffs on tightly.
"I didn't do shit". Your ex cried out.
Hank pulled him up by his ear, your ex was covered in blood. Hanks hands were covered.
"Call the station and ask for Jay". Hank asked of you. You nodded and went to your phone. Seeing that Hank called and texted you moments before he arrived. You called the station and Jay didn't ask any questions. He was on his way.
"You okay"? You came over to Hank as Jay loaded up your ex, hitting his head on the door as he was thrown in the back seat.
"Yeah. Let's got to my place and get cleaned up. Your house is a crime scene right now". Hank chuckled as he laid his on your back.
"Thank you for saving me, Hank. I know now I should have left long ago. I was just scared". You tell him as he cleaned your wounds with peroxide.
"Y/N, I know you were scared but you have me. I wouldn't hurt you.  I would have done my best to protect you. You deserve much better than him".
"Someone like you".
"Yeah, someone like me".
"It wasnt a question, Hank. You. You have been there for me when I needed help and when I couldn't think straight. I trust you more than anyone. You take better care of me than I do".
"You deserve to be cared for. Y/N, you're an amazing woman and you dont give yourself credit for that".
You smiled wide as you leaned into Hank. The smell of him made you go mad. "I like you Mr. Voight". You licked your lips as you looked down at his.
"I like you too". Hank let out a slow breath and then attached his lips to yours. Tge kiss was deep and soft. From the looks and personality of Hank you thought he'd be rough but no. He was so gently. Looks can be deceiving.
"Will you, you know"? You blushed as he looked into your eyes, waiting for you to say the words.
"Will I"?
"Will you be my first and show me what love really is"? You whispered softly.
"I will never hurt you". Hank picked you up carefully, you wrapped your arms around his waist as he carried you to his room.
Hank laid you gently on the bed, laying beside you, kissing your lips. He wanted to make sure you were comfortable and sure that this is what you wanted. He never wanted to make you feel unsafe with him.
As the night progressed, Hank showed you what it was like to be loved by someone that actually cared about you. Not just using you.  To love and cherish you. To make you feel wanted and the desire that Hank has for you. Something that you've never felt until you are with Hank.
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kweebtrash · 5 years ago
Text
Blind Leading the Blind
WonwooxReader
Summary: basically a cute/nerdy/awkward moment between two people who cant fucking see without their glasses and are nervous about hooking up for the first time
Words: 2.3k (drabble)
Features: really awkward hookups, nerdy!wonwoo, nerdy/shy reader, both wonwoo and reader being clumsy as all hell, heavy making out/grinding/caressing, fingering/stroking, some nipple sucking
Masterlist      Buy Me a Ko-Fi
Wonwoo fumbled with the door to his bedroom, struggling to grab onto the knob. It was rather difficult with his lips on mine and him pushing me against the wood but we had been so wrapped up in each other we almost didnt notice. My arms were around his neck, pulling him as tight as possible to my heated body. He was making me never want to come up from air but he did just that and made me chase after his lips. "H-hold on! S-sorry, just hold on a second. My hand is kinda sweaty and i cant-" He jerked the doorknob and twisted it, opening the door. "I couldnt get it open. But um...here we are." He chuckled awkwardly and held out his hand for me to view his simple university dormroom. It was a shared space that resembled a small apartment more than anything. His actual bedroom however still had a bunk bed which seemed annoyingly small for his tall frame. Not the most attractive place to have sex in but it would have to do.
I stepped into his room and adjusted my glasses shyly. I never expected us to get so far as to wanting to come back to his place. We had seen a movie at the local theater, had terrible university food, then walked around campus. He was a perfect gentleman. A perfectly gorgeous hot gentleman. Someone who was respectful and kind and turned me on just by being his dorky self. A sweet kiss goodnight lingered for far longer than intended and when the need grew too much to bare we decided to end the date on a more sensual note. He came into the room after me and we stood around for a moment, chuckling nervously and not knowing how to exactly pick back up where we left off.
He shrugged off his jacket and asked me if i wanted something to drink which i denied. An uneasy silence filled the room and i chewed my lip in ponderance. "Um so..." I began softly. "Do you want to...keep going, maybe?" I hoped he said yes. I had felt his strong and muscled arms beneath the thin shirt he wore during our first embrace and i was determined to have them trap me against his body once more.
"Oh! Yes. Yeah. Yes. Um...yes keep going. Thats cool. Youre cool. God sorry, i keep talking because i'm-" I cut him off with another kiss, reaching up to cup his face in my hands. His slightly full lips were soft and tender. It felt as if they were made to be on mine, a perfect fit like the final piece of a puzzle. His hands didnt seem to know where to rest at. They roamed from my shoulders to the center of my back then lower to my ass before he changed his mind and went back up to my shoulders.
"You can uh...touch my ass if you want. Like grab it...or w-whatever." I blushed.
"Oh? I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Youre not." I shook my head. "In fact youre making me want you more. Youre cute when youre flustered."
"youre cute in general." He responded quickly, his own face turning rose as well. I gave him a small peck as a thank you for the compliment and took his hand.
"do you think we might be more comfortable on the bed?" He nodded and let me lead, ducking his head to avoid the upper bunk as he joined me on the mattress. We sat on the edge, again wondering where our hands and lips should go. A few more tentative touches and he settled on my hips while his tongue nudged its way past my teeth. With a bit more confidence he added some control to the kiss, making sure that he could trap my tongue in a few sucks and lure soft whimpers out of me. Every time i made a small sound his grip on me grew tighter and he was slowly moving me down to meet the mattress.
He tried to shift on top of me smoothly but the frames of our glasses jutted together and made the lens smack against my eye. We drew back from one another, eyes squinting and trying to rub the slight pain away. "S-sorry about that. I meant to go down a little be easier."
"im sure you'll go down fine." I said, not realizing the double entendre right away as i blinked clarity back into my eye. "I mean um...just lay on top of me! Well i mean, you know what i mean!"
"yeah, yeah! Totally. Do you think we should take off our glasses? Maybe that would be better." Wonwoo offered.
"We wouldnt be able to see each other at all. Wed both be one big blur." I laughed knowing that our eyesights were utterly terrible.
"Feeling around might be more fun though." His deep voice had lowered into a whisper and he nipped at his bottom lip. I was starting to like the way he was thinking. We removed our glasses and set them on the desk that was just a few inches away from his bunk. The blurriness helped a bit. Though i loved his good looks, it did shave off some nervousness between us.
He set himself between my legs and watched my reaction as the tips of his fingers disappeared under the loose skirt of my dress. His thumb stroked the smooth skin of my inner thigh making my hips buck ever so slightly when he would get close to my panties. I panted softly against his lips as my fingers trembled through opening the buttons on his shirt. Once they were free i shoved the shirt away. He struggled to get his arms out the sleeves and hit his knuckles on the bunk above as he had been flailing out of them. He huffed once he was free, rubbing his knuckles momentarily, and tossed the shirt on the floor. As he returned to kiss along my jawline i wrapped my arms beneath his, holding onto his biceps tight. The way his muscles flexed under my fingers had my stomach clenching in earnest. I wanted him badly and though i had never slept with anyone on the first date i knew i wanted him to have the first experience, especially because i got the sense he wasnt a jerk who wouldnt call me back.
Being bolder i slid one hand into the minimal space between our hips and groped the center of his pants; not too harsh but just enough to get his attention right away. "Wonwoo..." I mewled. "Can we...?"
His whole face flushed crimson, traveling all the way to the tips of his ears. He stared at my hand then at my face then back at my hand again. I grew nervous that I had made him uncomfortable and went to move away from him but he gripped my wrist lightly and kept me right where I was. I smirked and worked my palm over him, watching the way his eyes fell closed and lips parted slightly. The baritone sound was perfect and I longed to make him repeat it as much as possible. He moved his hips into me even going so far as to pluck open the button of his jeans and pulling the zipper down. My heart did somersaults at the prospect of seeing him fully. I swallowed hard, starting to chicken out, and diverted my eyes. It was far from my first time but I was still a rather shy person and when he made to pull my panties down I snapped my legs shut. “Do you want to s-shut off the lights?”
“Huh? Why? I want to see you. You’re beautiful...” He replied softly.
I covered my face at the compliment. “I-I mean...i-it’s like you said, it’s more fun to feel, right? Besides not like we can see much now.”
“Well, if that’s what you want...” He agreed with a slight pout. He left the bed to shut off the light and I made quick work of removing my dress. I laid back on the bed once the room was in darkness, waiting for Wonwoo’s return. I heard shuffling and small grunts of frustration as well as the sound of fabric waving around.
“Wonwoo, what are you doing?”
“Taking off my-!” Another small grunt. “My pants! I got them off now. It’s ok.” He breathed a sigh of relief which was right before I heard a loud thud and Wonwoo cursing.
I sat up quickly and tried reaching out to him. “What happened?!”
“I hit my head on the stupid bed! God that hurt!”
“Oh god, Wonwoo, come here.” I cooed at him. “And please duck your head.” I felt the bed dip as he moved onto it, unharmed this time. I pulled him close and kissed his forehead, trying to soothe the damage as i giggled. "Poor baby."
He huffed. "Sorry im an idiot."
"A cute idiot." I compromised. "A very cute idiot." I kissed along his strong jawline and cupped his neck gently while leaning into him. I decided it was my turn to be on top and stunned him once i straddled his hips. I moved his hands to settle on my hips as i pressed our chests together and decorated his neck with small bites. The cover of the darkness increased the spark between us and we filled each others mouths with moans and whimpers.
Much to my surprise, his hold on me allowed him to guide me into rough grinds against him. He was beginning to stir beneath me, filling out his underwear more and more until i felt every inch of him between my thighs. His fingernails etched half moons into my hips as he begged for me to pull my panties off. I hummed in agreement and kissed my way down his neck to his chest and toned stomach before scooting away to pull off the impeding garment. He turned on his side to face me, instantly placing his long fingers between my slowly forming wetness, drawing them through my lower lips and making shudders run through me.
My hand returned to his hardness, gripping the outline of his shaft and stroking him in conjunction with my own pleasure. i spread my legs wider, giving him more room to slip a single finger inside my willing hole. I mewled his name, trying not to be too loud in case any of his roommates had come home. It was getting hard though with the way he was curling his finger and pulling down the cup of my bra to suckle at my breast. With my free hand i dug my fingers into his thick hair, fisting the locks tightly as i arched my chest into his mouth.
I rubbed my thumb over the tip of his cock, drifting over the small slit that had begun to leak. He tensed then, muscles within his thighs trembling ever so slightly. "P-please..."
"Hmm?" I kissed his cheek and nudged my forehead against his.
"C-could you...? Would you...? I mean you dont have to-i dont want to make you uncomfortable-but maybe, if you want, um..."
"Do you want me to suck you off?"
Wonwoo chuckled nervously. "A-ah...y-yeah. Thats what i meant to say."
"Will you keep touching me while i do it? Your fingers feel...really good." I buried his face in his chest even though he couldnt see my embarrassment in the dark. We were both fumbling idiots that could barely get through anything sexual without something triggering our nervousness. It was almost comical. I was glad we could at least say what we wanted from each other even if it was through stutters and mumbles.
“Yeah, of course. I want you to feel good too.” He assured me.
I switched my position to lower my head towards his cock while my ass wiggled closer to his chest. His finger resumed its position inside me, being joined by another to stretch the small space open. As he pleasured the soft walls within me, i guided him into my mouth, wrapping my lips around the thickness of his head. He kicked off his underwear and spread his legs more, giving me room to stroke what couldnt fit in my mouth. The feel of his girth against my tongue had me struggling to hollow out my cheeks but i bounced my head away, wanting him to feel the utmost pleasure. With us being wrapped up in the intensity of our sensuality we barely noticed the door opening or the light flickering on until we heard an "Oh fuck!!"
Wonwoo and i both shot up, squinting hard to see a tall figure now a few feet in front of us. I screamed and tried to cover myself and Wonwoo as quickly as possible. “Mingyu!?” He shouted. “You couldn’t have knocked?!”
“I didn’t know you were getting laid! Besides it’s my room too!...Wait.” Wonwoo’s roommate seemed to have a revelation. “Dude, you’re getting laid! Finally!” We watched as he ran out the room screaming, “Yo Vernon! Wonwoo’s finally getting laid!”
Wonwoo groaned and flopped back onto the mattress, covering his face with a pillow as he groaned deeply. Though we may not have been able to see without our glasses, it didn’t take 20/20 vision to see that we couldn’t have a night to ourselves without something going wrong.
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hey-hamlet · 5 years ago
Text
BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 1)
Also on AO3
hold on to your hats everyone - this is part one. i was going to put them together, then i realised part two is 6000 words and thats just too long 
TW for: implied abuse of all kinds, straight-up physical and emotional child abuse, gaslighting, all might if he was a terrible person.
TL;DR: 
Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.
Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.
izuku wants to be a hero, imagine the first ep happens etc. yagi doesnt so much say "you can be a hero" as "ill make you a hero"
an aside: inko is an absent parent, to make ends meet and a poor way of coping with a missing Hisashi. Izuku grows up without any positive adults figures in his life.
yagi makes izuku train and train and train, the kid’s hands bleed and his legs ache but allmight makes him keep going. allmight says he's useless and pathetic and a crybaby and izuku believes him, because he's allmight
they spar and yagi just holds back enough to not let izuku get hurt too badly to train. even katsuki is disturbed bc quirkless deku is coming to school with black eyes and swollen wrists
when katsuki calls him pathetic izuku just nods
"ill get better though"
and katsuki feels so gross he doesnt try to fuck with izuku for weeks
and so izuku is so convinced this is normal because katsuki does it, and mum does it, and now allmight? thats just how you treat kids he thinks. or quirkless ones at least
hes still a big fan of allmight because he doesnt see whats wrong. hes just pathetic and useless but then he'll get a quirk and he'll be worth something for the first time in his life
he barely sleeps, barely eats, just trains and studies and trains some more. he collapses. all might stands there until izuku gets back up and makes him keep running
reasons all mights like this
he is 1, suffering from internalised quirk discrimination
2, nana's dead bc she wasn't "strong enough"
3, he thinks he can shape izuku into the perfect selfless hero, and better person than he ever was.
hes convinced this is for the greater good. hes a dick but hes so sure hes in the right here
by the time of the entrance exam izuku is,,, kinda fucked up
he passes with flying colours because he used his quirk for the first time, broke his arm, and immediately moved on to snaping finger after finger. the teachers watched on, horrified as this child mutilated himself to get points
all might smiled. because this is what he wanted.
he saves ochacco too
he gets in and allmight is pleased with him, even more pleased than the time izuku admitted he hadn't slept for 72 hours and still got a perfect score on his test
and izuku thinks this was all worth it to see his hero smile at him
izuku is in 1A
izuku actually listed that he feels less pain due to his quirk, which aizawa believes but hes still not sold on the idea of a hero that destroys themselves. he doesnt know if izuku heals better or faster, but he's sure that may broken bones cant be good
aizawa is convinced he's going to expel izuku during the quirk test. the look he sees on izuku’s face when he says he's expelling the lowest scorer makes his stomach churn
because all of the other kids look worried, nervous
izuku looks like hes going to throw up.
the kid is trembling and pale and aizawa watches as he turns to ochako, smiles brightly and says "let's do our best" while he holds back full body tremors the other kids don't see
he breaks toes and fingers and he cries but he doesn't flinch at the pain
the only time he flinches is when someone looks him in the eyes, if someone speaks too loud, and at the firecracker pops of katsuki's quirk
and aizawa feels sick
the ball toss, he just can't watch this kid break anymore, and he stops his quirk
for a second he freezes, because this kids quirk manages pain, he'll be feeling all of those broken bones, he'll obviously notice
right?
but izuku doesnt notice his missing quirk until he throws the ball. he turns around, looking sick. aizawa feels so lost when he looks at him with pure relief
"oh, you're eraserhead"
izuku tears up for the first time in that class.
"please give me back my quirk"
aizawa feels so lost he blinks, and his quirk drops with it. there is something totally wrong about the utter relief the kid feels having this horrifically damaging quirk back, and there is something bothering aizawa about it, but he doesn't know what
"dont use your quirk for the rest of this test, kid. not unless you can use it without breaking something"
izuku nods but aizawa knows the kid will just try to hide it. he takes him by the shoulder when the others have moved on
"i mean it, midoriya. no quirk, or i'll expell you on the spot"
and izuku just looks so lost
"but, i have to? i'm-"
"you didn't flinch when i took your quirk. you can feel every broken bone, can't you?"
izuku just nods, like walking with broken toes is normal, like throwing a ball with broken fingers is easy. aizawa knows it's not
he just sighs.
"no quirk. we'll work on training it after. you're ahead enough not to fail the course, go to recovery girl now. you aren't expelled"
izuku just looks hurt
aizawa shoos him away and almost misses the thin form of all might slink out from behind the wall to follow izuku
he's worried, and confused. But he can't just, abandon a field of kids
he texts hizashi bc that's just who he texts when he's panicking, and he asks him to look out for smallmight and izuku, somewhere on the way to the infirmary. so present mic turns on the first movie he finds on his computer (an english language copy of rocky) yells "ENGLISH PRACTISE TIME" and runs out the door
1C is so lost
anyway, present mic can be quiet when he tries and when he hears the sound of allmight sternly talking to a student that's crying? he tries real fucking hard
he basically catches
"you're supposed to be stronger than this, why did he make you stop?"
"he saw my bones breaking-i couldnt-"
"and so you flinched? didn't we train?"
"i didnt flinch! he made me stop!"
allmight backhands him
"dont waste it. either get better at hiding it or learn to use your quirk without breaking bones quickly or ill find another successor. one that isn't useless."
present mic hears izuku agree and cry and he feels ill. he sneaks back a little further, then loudly walks down the hall. allmight smiles at him, and he wants to punch the man
izuku smiles at him too, tears in his eyes but like he's happy to see another hero. present mic cant understand why izuku is pressed so close to a man that hurt him, like he's more afraid of present mic than allmight
he walks with them to recovery girl, chatting like he was meant to be there. hes so grateful allmight is new, because he totally has a class he's meant to be teaching right now and that would be so suspicious if he knew his schedule 
he walks them all the way to the door, and he lingers. there is a touch of steel in his eyes when he tells allmight to take care because what he really means is "take care of yourself because i will not"
and hes halfway down the corridor before he freezes
why did izuku seem so comfortable with a man he shouldn't know
anyway present mic is having a quiet breakdown for 20 seconds before he sprints back to his class, pretends he never left, and panic texts aizawa
so aizawa, with a little great context, knows that that, particular, conversation wasn't as,,, unsavoury,,, as it could,,, be implied,,,
but like,,,,,, he's really lost on why izuku would know small might and he's very worried
bakugo is fuCKinG PisSed
izuku left?? and he wasn't expelled???
Any,,, unsavoury implications arent something I'm going to talk ab in this au bc it doesn't need to be worse,,, but it's very much intentional
so aizawa is having an actual moral crisis rn bc hizashi isn't a liar and he doesn't want to like, not believe when he saw. but really? the symbol of peace is terrible??? and hizashi doesn't want to believe it either. both of them as so sure they are just missing context or something
bakugo stalks up to recovery girls office after class bc wtf deku?? and he walks in to just see izuku blankly picking at new white scars
he actually perks up when katsuki enters
and there is this man standing over izuku. this man he's seen with izuku before, yelling at him, but someone izuku seems happy to be around. it's not deku’s dad, he knows that. and the guy is too blonde and tall to have literally any relation to him.
a lot of the fire in katsuki goes out when he sees how tired izuku looks, and the question he was going to yell becomes more of a mumble
"so, you have a quirk now? just like that?"
he looks up and he sees that man's hand on izuku's shoulder, curled like a claw, so tight it must hurt. but izuku doesn't flinch or shy away, he smiles softly
"i'm really lucky, huh kacchan?"
and as much as izuku looks like he believes it, katsuki has the strongest feeling that this is the worst possible thing that could have happened to his once-friend
he just leaves
and he almost runs straight into his new teacher. they lock eyes and even though katsuki doesn't know whats going on, aizawa doesn't know whats going on, they both just know something is happening
and its not good
but what can they do
hes the symbol of peace
recovery girl is 100% in denial bc she new baby toshi and he's a dork but he's a good boy
izuku gets knocked tf out by recovery girls heal and toshi carries him out of the school grounds and shes like "how cute"
honestly they get to they gate, he wakes izuku up and reminds him to run home to get in the extra cardio, and izuku does. all the way home.. not only bc yagi wanted him to, but that's a big bit but bc if he was late hed wouldn’t get dinner
so the battle trial
so aizawa is like,,, : | ab everything
so he attends the battle trial rather than take the nap he really fucking wanted
the kids come out in their costumes and something sits poorly about the way izuku positively preens at almighty compliments. so basically it goes like the show, but allmight doesnt try to stop Bakugo. aizawa doesn't have audio, but he sees what the kids see and rips the mic out of allmights hand to tell bakugo to stop
he doesnt have to, though
because izuku has already vanished from sight
bakugo looks lost, aizawa is worried, but allmight just looks smug because a second later, izuku drops from the ceiling where he swung up, and punches bakugo in the back of the head
allmight grins and it looks nasty
izuku gives bakugo a once-over to make sure hes ok, wraps his wrists, then puts him in the recovery position and scampers out of the room to ochako
aizawa is lost, because that is c l e a r l y combat training. from the back of the room, todoroki starts watching in earnest
with ochako, he grabs the bomb. they walk out of the exercise and all might congratulates them on winning and izuku looks so happy! but allmight isn't done
"young midoriya, why didn't you use your quirk?"
the only people that notice the way he pales are todoroki and aizawa
"sorry sir, i didn't want to disappoint mr aizawa"
allmight nods, and he smiles but aizawa doesnt like it
"thats ok my boy, we'll have to see about getting you some out of class quirk training, huh?"
izuku smiles. hes happy, but he looks panicked
he looks guilty about being afraid
aizawa silently tells his agency he needs the week off to investigate something personal, and they readily give him the time off
izuku mumbles happily to himself about the exercise, stilling when all might looks gazes with him. he stops, flushes, and apologises. allmight nods.
he begins again, but hes not mumbling anymore, hes speaking clearly and concisely with the other students, even though he doesnt want to talk to them, he just wants to think. but allmight says to talk clearly to everyone or to remain silent and he just wants so badly to talk about the exercise
todoroki looks between izuku and allmight and he wonders
USJ time baby
allmight uses up his time, like before
the difference is, when the nomu comes for aizawa? izuku doesnt hesitate to jump in. thats what allmight wanted. he wanted someone so selfless that "would i give my life for them" isn't even a question that would cross their mind, they would just move
izuku stalls. he's shivering and shaking, walking on broken toes but he stands between aizawa and the nomu and he smiles
shigiraki looks at izuku and doesn't see a hero in training. he sees someone like him, like his league. someone who has be stepped on and ruined and reborn
and he wants him
when he sees something he likes, he wants it. like his sensei and his quirks. shigiaki collects people like action figures to use how he likes
anyway, he sees this little 'hero' and for all his stubbornness he knows he won't get izuku today
so he does what his sensei did to him all those years ago
he shows kindness. just enough to break him
he looks izuku in the eyes and says
"hero society is so rotten they break children into weapons to fight other broken pieces. whats fair about that?"
and izuku looks stunned. he drops his smile.
"from one broken piece to another, i wont shatter you today."
kurogiri moves izuku and aizawa just outside of the usj
they cant get in, aizawa has no quirk to break through the walls and izuku is shell shocked
he takes a second to look at aizawa like his world is falling down and aizawa understands.
and then
allmight appears
and aizawa hates himself for how relieved he feels
allmight looks at izuku and izuku smiles so wide. and then he frowns
"they want to kill you"
"they aren't the first, my boy."
and izuku pauses
"they seem pretty sure they can, sir."
and allmights smile looks meaner
"what, you really think so little of this old man?"
and izuku shakes his head violently
"not at all! no, im sorry-"
allmight looks at his student and suddenly there isnt a wall anymore, blasted into tiny shards by allmight’s punch. izuku scrambles inside after him
aizawa tells him to stay outside, to stay safe. but allmight levels a glare at him that almost hurts to meet. aizawa cringes and rushes after them, cradling broken arms
the fight ends much the same, but upon seeing izuku in the way on his hand, shigiraki closes his fist
allmight doesn't miss that
and, with that the other teachers arrive. and again, present mic and aizawa wonder why izuku knows allmight small form
oh also just as a weird powerplay thing, allmight calls izuku by his first name in private while izuku calls him sir everywhere
aizawa has the worst of the injuries, but years of sleep deprivation mean he can pretty easily resist the call of sleep after recovery girls quirk. not that anyone knows that. so he hears the edges of a conversation between hero and student
he hears sobs and a slap and apologies from both parties. he hears a louder conversation on training after class to better use izuku’s quirk and aizawa decides he's going to force himself into this 'training' because he doesnt like the optics on any of this
allmights angry that the villains were fond of izuku, bc that means izuku was doing something wrong, right? and he's also angry izuku barely used his quirk, but he does kinda understand needing to be able to walk still
anyway in the training we get the joy of a creepy scene of yagi assessing the physique of a barely dressed izuku
aizawa isn't there yet and boy howdy does he feel ill when yagi walks out of the changing rooms a few minutes before izuku does
anyway so it doesn't take long for yagi and aizawa to get izuku using his quirk w/o achy breaky bones and izuku is proud, and so is aizawa
but yagi just kinda pipes in with "about time" and izukus face crumples
aizawa just says "better late than never" and izuku gives a watery smile
yagi scares enji but he just royally pisses off todoroki
bc todoroki just looks at the guy
"big strong me, what you gonna do, punch me? yeah right bastard and i'll go screaming to the press. I dont give a fuck what you think you dick of an old man!"
please izuku is totally convinced that this is just normal training, that yagi is doing his best and a teacher, is doing right by him. and shouto is just,,, he doesnt know the whole story. just knows that all might scares izuku and that all mights secretary has a connection to him
but he knows that yagi was creepy enough to make his old man have bad vibes and thats an achievement
Enji sat, reigning back a snarl as the green boy threw Shouto -his Shouto- from the ring, to land on his back in a graceless cloud of dust. Beside him, All Might’s secretary grinned. It wasn’t a nice grin, like the hero, but a nasty crawling one that made Enji feel cold even with his flames dancing around his face.
Enji had never liked the man, his instincts telling him there was something horrifically off about him. But the number one hero had resources he couldn’t dream of, so he kept his lips shut.
“Well done, my boy.”
There was no familial resemblance between the skeletal man beside him, and the boy who stood both victorious and broken where his son should have been. No resemblance to the hulking oaf of a hero either. But their quirks were markedly similar, as were their smiles, if the boy’s was a little kinder.
The man turned to him, all polite smiles and condolences for his son’s loss.
The smug aura around him so strong that Enji allowed himself, for just a second, to pity the boy in green.
Its just tenya and todoroki who know
and quickly bakugo too, bc he was there for shoutos tragic backstory reveal, which included izukus too
and like,,, mic and aizawa are in denial bc jesus christ its the number one hero and hes normally so nice
izuku v katsuki babey!
basically izuku starts to panic and bakugo stops the fight and grabs his hand
"pull yourself together deku. forget everyone else, this is just a fight between me and you, go it?"
and izuku gives a shakey smile, and nods. bakugo releases his hand
"lets start this again, huh izuku"
"sure thing kacc-. Katsuki"
and then fiGHT and its great and its a tie bc they are both so fucking exhausted. izuku and bakguo have to get hauled to their feet by midnight, but both of them are grinning
izuku has trouble w his hero name, like, a l o t bc everything he comes up with yagi says no
but yagi wont give him any ideas eventually izuku just ends up with his hero name being "nine" bc yagi liked that one
katsuki can just,,, tell izuku doesn't like it (bc it reduces him as a hero down to his quirk)
(he wants the name jackrabbit)
he has no supports in his costume bc "it makes you look weak" and no support gear either
ok so , his bones are less fucked than canon zuku but hes willing to break them fucking constantly
aizawa actually comes up to him before the sports festival and says "you break your bones, you get disqualified. no excuses"
yagi is p i s s e d but just nods politely to aizawa tells izuku hed better do as aizawa says, as stupid as a request it may be
also izuku really,, wants to paint his nails dumb glittery colours like ochako and mina do so they paint his nails for him! and then at lunch yagi scrubs the polish off with a dish scrubber
to make it worse, mina is sad izuku took it off, but she just
pauses
when she sees his fingers are almost bleeding
"midoriya, what happened?"
"oh haha funny thing, one of our teachers said i might get a uniform violation so i got a little enthusastic with scrubbing it off, sorry!"
aizawa just winces
one of the finals nails in the coffin is todoroki asking if "the tall thin blonde guy" is izukus dad
aizawa says no
todoroki says "good"
s t a i n a r c
so izuku finds iida and steps between iida and stain, starts fighting him, todoroki shows up, stain starts rambling about how allmight is the best hero and todoroki gives him a strange look
"i used to agree. but seeing allmight at school, i dont think hes the icon of morality everyone says"
izuku is spluttering, denying it, stain is just watching them. so stain isnt even fighting them, hes interested. bc this selfless kid is the one shigiraki wants
iida is lost too and he gets this,,, look in his eyes like he's starting to connect some dots
anyway, fight proceeds, they win the nomu tries to carry izuku off, stain stops the nomu and saves izuku and vaguely he realizes the way izuku just, sits in his arms, like he doesnt know how to react to being touched, and he pushes it aside
and he holds izuku close because all he knows is that this boy is kind and good and the world has hurt him and he says that this boy he is holding is the only hero hes ever worth met their salt
oh but after the hero killer thing, yagi storms into the office and hauls izuku out by his injured arm
and tenya and shouto just feel sick
"should, should we tell all might? about how his secretary treats midoriya?"
shouto just glares at the half-open door, quiet apologies drifting down the hall until they turn another corner
"i'm quite sure that man already knows."
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dazeyrains2 · 5 years ago
Text
Ready, Aim, fire.
Wrote a lil Caryl thing to go with my Caryl thing....
....
Carol threw down her bow.
She closed her eyes, lifted her head up towards the sun and shouted out at the top of her lungs
"Fuuuuck!"
Her arm was done. But what frustrated her the most was that she felt 'done' aswell. Ever since they'd defeated Alpha and her skin freaks, the last part of herself felt gone and it sickened her. Sickened her to think that she might actually be missing the chase, the thrill of the enemy.
How sickening to think she might be bored now.
She cursed again, this time silently and fetched her left hand across her chest to the tip of her right shoulder.
"You good?"
Carol dropped her hand and turned, surprised that he had stalked her out.
"Daryl..."
His name slipped off her tongue in a whisper. It was the first time he'd spoken to her since it all happened.
"You good?" He repeated, leaning against an old tree, looking dangerous.
"Its just my arm...the one I fell on when we..." she didnt have to finish that scentence. She knew he knew already. He'd been the one to pop her arm back in to her socket after they'd all fallen into the pit. He knew.
"You're making excuses, pick it up"
She blinked, half stunned by his tone, half by his words.
"Excuse me?"
Daryl pointed to the bow at her feet
"Pick it up"
"I told you, my arm"
"Yeah, yeah" he waved towards her, stepping out from the foliage, into the light. He looked towards her earlier target in the distance, noting the failed attempts at hitting her center mark.
"Its not your arm, it's your head" he said, folding his arms. "Its too far up your own ass"
Carol exhaled an irritated sigh. If the only reason to seek her out was to chip away at another layer, he could go fuck himself.
She snatched up the bow and shoved it into his chest
"Thanks for the gift, I don't need it any more!" The bow clattered back down to the floor as he refused to take it and when Carol tried to move passed him he grabbed her wrist, snorting a laugh at her attempts to free herself.
"Will you just stop" he laughed placidly "Stop, stop"
After a few feeble attempts, she gave in, allowing him to guide her in front of him, his hands placed gently on her upper arms as he tried to make eye contact with her.
"Would you look at me?" He asked softly but Carol pouted her lips and focused past his right arm.
He wasn't giving in.
"Hey"
"What!?" She snapped, finally meeting his eyes. "You dont talk to me in over a week and suddenly you want to joke around and be buddies again, what?"
He dropped his head, smirking playfully. It only irritated her further.
"I was mad at you" he squinted "Ain't I allowed to be mad too sometime?"
"And suddenly what? You're not mad at me anymore?"
He dropped his hands and shrugged "I got over it"
"You got over it?"
"Yup"
"Just like that?"
Daryl folded his arms, looking down at her through his fallen hair "Just like that"
Carol mirrored him, folding her arms and eyeing him suspiciously
"So... what. You wanna be friends again?"
He chuckled "Friends, sure. Why not." And Carol pretended not to read into that response too much
"C'mon" he continued, nudging her good arm "Pick it up"
He wasn't taking no for an answer, so like a scalded kid, Carol huffed and picked up the bow.
"Its not in my head, Daryl. I'm damaged. I can't do this anymore"
She wanted some sympathy but she wasn't getting any from him. He ignored her excuses and gestured towards her to lift the bow into position.
Carol rolled her eyes and lifted up her aiming arm, drawing back on the string
"Ow!" She cursed, dropping her arms again "I told you, I can't-"
She stopped, suddenly aware of his hands at her waist, her back gingerly touching his chest as he spotted her.
"Up" he said again, guiding her aiming hand up with his. His other hand left her waist and drew a slow line from the base of her spine up towards her neck. "Straighten up, you're slouching"
"I'm not slou-" He pressed a spot between her shoulder blades and she straightened up
"You're slouching"
Carol rolled her eyes again but she couldn't work out it she was irritated or frustrated. But she didnt want his hands to leave her body, that much was for sure.
"Chin down, drop your shoulders"
His hands slid to both of them, left shoulder and right.
"You're too tense, drop your shoulders" he repeated, squeezing them gently but her concentration was lost in his touch. She closed her eyes.
"Carol"
She gasped, feeling herself falling backwards into his chest, and opened her eyes again.
"Concentrate"
She was, but on the wrong thing
She cleared her throat and looked at the tree ahead, at the numerous chips in the bark where her arrows had skimmed by, missing their target.
She felt his breath on the back of her neck as he continued to spot her.
"Take a deep breath, concentrate" he muttered and it was like a soft growl in her ear. She could feel her cheeks turning pink and all of the hairs on the back of her neck were erect. Her heart was racing and not because of the pain still stabbing at her arm. They'd never been this close before. Had he any idea what this was doing to her. It had surprised even her.
"Fight through the pain" he whispered "Mark your target"
Carol hoped he hadn't seen her glance back at him for a second after that instruction.
"Draw the bow"
A hand slid from her shoulder, underneath her drawing arm
"Lift up, keep your shoulder down"
She lifted and untensed her shoulder and suddenly the pain started to ease.
He had been right, she was too tense.
"Good, now aim...right there" he leaned into her vision, pointing out a spot on the tree but it only distracted her further, she took aim...
"Now fire"
She fired, pressing her lips to the corner of his mouth.
The arrow zoomed off as Daryl blinked in shock. It only took him a second to come back to his senses, pry the bow out of her hands, throw it to the ground and pull her face towards his crashing their mouths together in a heated kiss.
They parted after a minute, catching their breaths.
"Just friends huh?" He jested "friends dont kiss like that"
Carol grinned, combing her fingers into his hair
"Guess we better stay mad at each other then?"
"Guess so" he kissed her again, pulling her tight against him, holding her with everything he had.
They left the bow and the trees behind and headed back to camp, and Carol's arrow stayed stuck, perfectly central in a chipped old tree for the rest of time.
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stay-trash-2017 · 5 years ago
Text
Wilted Rose
(Part 1) (Part 2)
Gang member!Changbin x Fem!oc
Warnings: mentions of death and language
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Although Changbin never expected to meet Rose at school, he still felt the same. Like nothing had changed. The truth is Changbin has had girlfriends before but every. single. One. cheated on him or broke him in some way. Changbin had never had that true love, not from his parents, not from his girlfriends, not even from his siblings. Changbin knew the consequences of being in cahoots with a Rose but he didnt care, he wanted her so badly. He wanted to be the reason she smiled,  the reason she felt safe even though she had her own protection, he wanted to be her lifeline, he wanted to be with her. Changbin never knew when to give up but he planned to never give up on MiRae. No matter how bad it damaged him, his rep, or his career. It was love at first sight. 
When MiRae had returned to class she knew what she was doing with Changbin was wrong on so many levels. She wanted him so badly but what would happen if the Roses found out that she was sneaking around with a Reaper? She would never ever want any harm to come to Changbin ever. MiRae then made a vow to herself that no matter what happened she would protect Changbin with her life, even if that meant losing it. She never ever wanted Changbin to feel pained by anything, now that he was in her life she promised herself he never would. It was love at first sight. 
“Minho we need to talk after school, its important!!” MiRae whispered to her brother while in the lunchroom, He only nodded as a tall dark haired by approached him and sared talking about things that needed to be discussed in private. The man looked over at MiRae and her heart dropped when the words fell out of his mouth.
“Hey you're that Rose that fell earlier! Why is such a poisonous thing talking to a Reaper?” He knew MiRae is a Rose. He knew she talked to Changbin. Oh fuck! This would surely put Changbin in danger.
“You're not involved with this so-called badass right Minho? It would suck to lose a fellow Reaper because of this.” The boy stated and MiRae felt her stomach sink. Minho is a Reaper? What the actual fuck?
“Lee Minho you’re a what?!” She saw him Physically tense up instantly. “ A fucking Reaper Minho?! Do you have no sense of loyalty to our fucking mom?!” MiRae grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of the cafeteria to the vacant Football field. MiRae was FURIOUS with Minho.
“MiRae! It's not like I can join the Roses! What other option did I have?!”
“You could have stayed out of a fucking gang! Minho do you even understand how fucking hurt mom would be to find out her only son was a Reaper? You are part of a gang that killed our fucking mother Minho? Why isnt that clicking for you?”
“Look you may have taken care of me after mom died but you arent my mother MiRae! I control myself and my actions, If I want to fuck up my life and hurt mom then fucking let me. They have my back no matter what. Its not your life MiRae.” Minho snapped. He started coming closer and getting in her face. “Do you fucking understand me? You will not decide my life for me!” He spat with venom in his words.
“If I dont control you, dont bother coming home tonight. If they have your back then you can stay with them but I will not have a reaper in my house.” Her words hurt her because what she wanted more than life itself was for her little brother to be safe and healthy. 
Minho shoved her hard backwards and she fell to the ground. When MiRae rose to her feet she clocked Minho in the face pretty damn hard.
“Dont ever disrespect someone who gave you food in your stomach, a roof over your head, and most importantly a protection that meant if they needed to lay their life down for yours they would.” MiRae was hurt by her brother's ignorant yet painful words and actions. She sped away quickly only to look back and see her brother frozen. Her heart dropped at what she saw.
“MINHO BEHIND YOU!” MiRae sprinted in front of her brother and shoved him to the ground. When Minho opened his eyes he was paralized with fear and thats when it hit him. She wasn't a Rose, She is his big sister who would take a bullet for him. Shit, She just did.
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justsomegruviastuff · 5 years ago
Text
Gruvia Au part two
So I actually thought of this one day after the chapter came out and it added with the last au I wrote so it turned out to be a continuation . I hope you like it !🌹
She turned white and dont worry , you'll all be joining her in just a few minutes " Grays eyes turned and he went full mode ice devil slayer. He wouldn't let anyone touch her and right now he didnt care if he was strong enough he was going to defeat that bitch and get Juvia back no matter what .The others also got in a fighting stance and without questioning they all started attacking the woman. Gray cast a spell but the woman didnt even move the magic passed her like thin air . Gray moved closer and tried again but nothing worked .
" Where is she ? " he asked infuriated and the others tried to attack her too but again nothing. Gray decided that this was useless and so he did what his instinct told him to . He freezed her whole and turned to his team .
" This is not going to last long . I'm going to go and search for Juvia you hold her off " Erza gave him a nod and he called to Happy . The small cat terrified followed him and started flying while carrying Gray . The sky was dark and a light breeze caressed their skin . Happy flew high not really knowing where exactly they were headed .They passed houses and parks until something caught Gray's eyes .
" There ! There's a boat at the sea , go there " happy located the place that Gray mentioned and he flew there . The boat was huge and it seemed suspicious to Gray .When they were just above it happy landed . Gray saw the entrance and rushed inside, what he saw though once again wasn't what he expected. The boat was even bigger inside than it seemed from the outside. Entering it his eyes widened and his heart skept one or two bits . His face turned white and he clenched his fists . Every single one of his friends and guild mates were standing like soulless puppets staring at him . But what made his teeth grit and his eyes turn wasn't that. Juvia , his Juvia was trapped inside what seemed like a bubble that connected to some tubes and Gray guessed was draining her magic . She was unconcious and visibly in pain , she was slightly injured and as time passed more and more magic was taken away from her . Gray waisted no time , he run towards her but was stopped by his own friends. They were hypnotized or controlled or something Gray assumed . They started attacking him but they weren't using their whole powers so it was easier to get pass them . But they were too many and everytime he escaped or another came through.
" Happy , get her out of there " he shouted and happy flew to Juvias direction . He started biting and scratching the machine doing little damage . He was stopped though by Lili . The little exceed was also brainwashed and trapped Happy to a wall. Gray had enough , he casted a spell that would hold them off for a few minutes at least . Gray rashed to Juvia and froze the machine . Once it broke juvia's naked form fell to his arms . He quickly took of his clothes and wrapped it around her frail body . With fear in his eyes he put his head to her chest and longed for a heartbeat. When he realized she was still alive he smiled and sighted. Realizing his spell didnt work anymore he took Juvia to his arms and run outside the boat before anyone could attack him . Getting out he noticed that none followed him ,maybe the mage didnt let them go out of the boat . Just when he was outside he turned to the boat .
" We're going to come for you all, just wait" seing that happy was too tired to fly with both of them he decided they sould walk . With Juvia in his arms and Happy by his side he started walking back to where Natsu and everyone else where, hoping that they were all alright . They could barely see where they were going and it started getting a little chilly ,not that he cared. When they were almost there Juvia started gaining conciousness. She started shaking and Gray stopped walking . She slowly opened her eyes and Gray smiled . Juvia didnt know it was him and started pushing to get away .
" Its me ,its me dont worry " Juvias eyes finally landed on him and she finally let out a big sight like all this time she wasn't able to breathe until she saw him , that made his heart ache . She quickly wrapped her arms around his neck and started sobbing and shaking .
" Juvia was .... Juvia was so afraid ... she thought she'd never ... see her Gray -sama again .... that woman ...the white mage ..... I... juvia thought she did something... to hurt you ... she took Juvias place .... and then...and then .." Gray shushed her and kissed her temple to make her feel safe . He could feel her warm tears falling on his chest and her slow breathing ticking his skin . He hated it when she was crying , he absolutely hated it .
" I'm here , your safe now , I wont let anything happen to you , I promise " slowly Gray let her out of his arms and helped her gain balance so she could walk . Once he was sure she wouldn't fall his gaze turned to her midnight eyes .
" Are you okay, are you hurt ? What did that bich do to you ? He asked worried as he searched for injuries across her body but all he could see was small scratches and bruises , nothing too serious .
" She drained most of Juvias magic away . But I still have some left, .... Wait ... where .. where is she ... where is the white mage ? Gray looked confused
" The white mage ? " he asked
" Yes .. the woman that attacked fairytail... the one who took juvias place " that's when Gray realized sho she was talking about .
" She is the white mage ? The one that took the water dragons power ? But .... actually ...that makes sense.... oh shit ... she is here to take Natsus magic ... fuck we need to go " he quickly took Juvias wrist and run to their destination, he was glad she could run . Happy followed them and when they were near the camp he stopped and turned to Juvia .
" Ok stay here , I'm going to go help the others and then I'm gonna come for you and we're going to save our friends at the boat " juvias brow lifted and she looked at Gray .
" What ? No ... Juvias going to help .. you don't understand Gray-sama she is powerful way more powerful that any of us. Juvia has to make sure nothing happens to Gray-sama and the others " just as she was about to go to the camp Gray quickly stopped her by grabbing her wrist and spinning her around .
" No you're not ! You lost most of your magic and if you use the last of it you're going to..... it's not happening you're staying here , end of the situation ! Juvias pushed Grays hand away something that again made his heart ache.
" No ! I dont care what happens to me ! Juvia is not gonna let you and her friends fight alone and probably get hurt when she can help! You're not changing Juvias mind no matter what I'm going to fight with every last bit of magic Juvia has ! Gray sighed .
" If something happens to you again I'm going to... Fuck , juvia ! I can't loose you!I can't let anything happen to you and right now I'm not strong enough to protect you ! Fuck , this wasn't supposed to happen ! " some tears started escaping from his eyes and he closed them so Juvia couldn't see but she did . She lifted her hands and cupped Grays cheeks wiping his tears away .
"Juvia loves you! So much ! She promises whatever happens tonight we'll still be toghether tommorow ! You're not getting rid of her that easily ! Gray smirked and slowly lifted his own hand grabbing hers on his face. He caressed it and opened his eyes to look at hers.
" You're lucky I'm in love with you or there is no way I would let you get out of this this easy " Juvias eyes widened and her heartbeat increased , she was sure she just had another one of her fantasies but when Gray smirked and walked ahead she realized this was reality.
" W..wh..what " she stuttered and made a few slow steps his way. Gray laughed .
"Oh no ! If you want an explanation and to hear that again you'll have to get out of this safe ! We're going to win and you're going to be okay or else your not going to hear this words leave my mouth ever " juvia understanding where this was headed she slowly nodded still fazed from his words . Now standing before the camp both of them gasped . Wendy and Lucy were badly injured and layed to the ground while Erza and Natsu were still fighting but were also seriously injured . When Erza took a notice of them both she let out a sight.
" Thank God! " she dodged an attack coming from the mage . Gray and Juvia quickly started fighting by her and Natsus side . When the white mage saw Juvia she laughed and stopped casting spells .
" Oh i see ! Your knight in shining armor came to your rescue . But ... oh too bad ... I can see your almost out of magic .... but still are you gonna fight ?" Juvia nodded with no hesitation and determination written all over her eyes . The white mage then started laughing out loud.
" Are you serious ? Do you have a death wish or something ! I believe you're aware that if you use that magic you have left your done right ? Juvia didnt even flinch , she took a fighting stance and was ready to attack her but Gray got in the middle and stopped her.
" No ! You heard what she said if you use that magic you're gonna die ! This is it you're not fighting ! " again juvias eyes remained at the white mage and she still had her fighting stance .
" Look at everybody! Lucy and Wendy-San are badly injured and surely can't fight! Erza-san is also in a terrible state and can barely dodge an attack . Natsu -kun is in danger because she is after him and you Gray-sama , she is gonna destroy you! Juvia can't let that happen! She is not going to stand aside watching the people she loves getting hurt when she can help it ! " Juvia shouted and pushing Gray she attacked the mage .
" No .. stop it.." Gray run after her but Erza stopped him . She grabbed his shoulder and brought him close to her . Erza hugged him and Gray saw some tears escaping her eyes .
" She is ... she is way too powerful... I'm sorry Gray ... I'm so sorry " Grays heart ached at the sight of Erza giving up, she never gives up. This was bad , this was very bad . Grays head turned to see Juvia . She bad barely touched the white mage but she was already injured .Grays teeth gritted and he closed his eyes not wanting to watch . This is my fault , once again I can't protect her! I'm unable to protect her, I'm not worthy of her love ,I never was . She is gonna die and it's because of me ! Fuck Gray snap out of it , its no time for that ! You have to try , you need to fight , you must protect her! Get up , get up. Gray got out of Erzas embrace and headed towards juvia and the mage . Natsu quickly got on his feet and went to help . Erza wiped her tears and gathered every power she had left . Lucy slowly got up and grabbed her keys taking a fighting stance . Carla helped Wendy get up and she joined the others .Juvia turned around her eyes widening by the sight beside her.
" We're here ! " everyone yelled
" Were going to fight toghether " Natsu casted the fists spell and the white mage was actually hurt .
" You're not going to do this alone " Grays with tears in his eyes attacked and the mage was thrown off .
" We are not giving up ever!" Erza was next and she quickly requiped and hit the white mage .
" We are with you Juvia " Lucy with the help of Taurus moved forward .
" We are gonna end this now " Wendy blew the woman off. Juvia quickly casted the last spell before the mage could react. Everyone waited to see if they had eventually won and what they saw brought terror to their eyes. The white mage looked like she didnt even have a scratch and she kept laughing out loud . Everyone was terrified they couldn't win . The mages expression changed .
" You made me mad little girl ,you're gonna pay " she quickly run towards Juvias direction and as much as Gray wanted to go and save her he wasn't strong enough to even move . Instead he was forced to watch. Juvia got a lot of hits and she was now very seriously injured as she was bleeding everywhere.
" No stop it ,go away!" Gray shouted but Juvia didnt listen , she instead gathered all her power and attacked .But again she was the one getting hurt instead . Gray couldn't watch anymore. He tried to get up.
" Stay down Juvias got this " Juvia yelled with everything she still had .
" No ! I'm not going to let this happen ! You can't win and she is not going to kill you ! Not on my watch !" Gray got on his feet and run towards Juvias side . He grabbed her bleeding hand and looked at her.
" We can do this toghether ! Unison raid ! " Juvia looked at him and nodded squishing his hand . They got ready to cast the unison raid but the white mage stopped them on their tracks . She shot a light spell and it was headed towards Juvia . Gray couldn't act fast because of his injuries and he watches as the light got closer to her. His eyes widened and filled with terror . Then just as he was ready to see his love die everything stopped . The light stopped coming towards Juvia and everyone and everything around him stopped moving .
" Hello Gray " his breathing stopped and he turned around searching for the familiar voice. What he didn't expect though was seeing someone he long assumed dead . Ultear , the dead daughter of his dead teacher was standing perfectly fine in front of him .
Ultear seeing his face laughed .
" Calm down I'm dead ! I'm not a ghost !..I know this seems weird but we have little time so I'm just going to say that this is were I can only exist . Between space time . I stopped the time so you can save her and you better do it now cause we dont have plenty of time " Gray got on his feet and nodded.
" But how ? "
" That's not the real white mage , she is holding off , touka is holding her off or she would have already killed all of you " grays eyes widened , If that's not her full power how can they win ?.
" You can win Gray ! I'm going to pass an ancient spell to you! A spell that can defeat the white mage ! " Ultear got close to Gray and grabbed his hand . She started glowing and a lot of magic power was released . Gray felt powerful , he could defeat her .
" This is " insert ancient spell " use it to kill the white mage" Suddenly a figure appeared and Gray guessed was the white mage outside of Toukas body . He got on a fighting stance and was ready to defeat her . (I'm not good at describing fighting scenes so you're not getting much of that ) ... He was able to land some hits on her but he was badly injured himself. Eveything bad stopped and only him the white mage and Ultear could move . He was starting to give up again and he hated it . He had to protect Juvia he couldn't let her die . The white mage attacked again and he fell down . He could barely get up . Fuck , this wasn't supposed to happen . I can't let her die , not now , I promised to tell her how I feel , I promised to be a man who can protect her ! Fuck I'm useless , I'm not good enough for her , I was never good enough, and I'll never be ! I'm not strong enough !
" Yes you are Gray ,you can do this , I believe in you " a familiar voice once again saddened him and he turned to see . It wasn't Ultear but his breath again stopped and his heartbeat increased . In front of him stood his teacher Ur .
" Dont give me that face ! Get up right now or I'm gonna make you " Gray laughed , he couldn't give up not now . He got up once again . (Blah blah sorry not gonna describe a fight scene I dont want to burn you eyes) his breathing was heavy and blood started dripping everywhere from his body . H was exhausted, nothing seemed to work . Not even " insert ancient spell " could make him win against her . Fuck what was he gonna do . His head turned to see the frozen Juvia who was on the verge of collapsing anytime . He couldn't loose yet he was unable to win .
" Get up boy , there's no time to lose here ,you have to protect your girl " Gray recognized the voice to be Silver , his father . Gray smirked and looked at his father after all this time .
" I said get up !" Gray smiled and did as his father said . ( fighting scene blah blah ) he had managed to ware her magic a little and the white mage seemed hurt but she didnt give up she still attacked Gray . But he wasn't going to give up either not when all this voices kept ringing in his head .
" Go get her " Ur screamed .
" You got this boy " Silver smiled
" You can do this Gray " Ultear said proudly .
" I believe in you " Erzas voice said lightly.
" Dont you dare give up " Natsus voice yelled and Gray laughed.
" You got this Gray " he could hear Lucy
" Were on your side " and Wendy
" I love you Gray -sama " he got up the minute he heard her voice and immediately attacked the white mage .
" It ends here and now " he screamed as he casted his last spell . Light blinded him and he could barely see what the spell did but he knew when everything started moving again. His smile quickly fell off though when he saw the ligh that was headed to Juvia striked her . The white mage was defeated but her spell didnt disappear . He rushed to Juvia and caught her before she fell .
" No no no... please no ... you can die ... you just can't... please don't leave me ... you promised... you promised that we are going to be toghether tommorow ...you have to keep your promises " juvia lifted her weak hand and placed it on Grays cheek .
" You were always ... good enough for Juvia ..... from the moment she met you...you were .. more than enough ... so please ... don't ever doubt ... don't ever doubt yourself again ...Juvia loves you ... more than she ever loved anyone ... she is thankful for you... you made juvia the person she is today.... if not for you... I'd never join fairytail.....I'd never meet all this amazing ... people that ... I can now call my friends .. thank you... " Wendy had already started healing Juvia .
" She is going to be okay " wendy informed Gray and he couldn't be more happy. He placed his head above juvias and smiled .
" You know ... I never thought I could love someone so much ! I actually never though anyone would ever love me , I wasn't worthy of loving , everyone I ever loved died because of me . When i met you I immodestly knew you were special . I kept denying that I loved you because I was afraid to loose you. I always believed I want good enough for you . You are amazing Juvia , any man would be lucky to have you and I dont know how the fuck you love me that much cause I'm not like you, I'm not special but I'm...I'm glad you love me , cause you showed me happiness! I always lived a blank life ,I was happy with my friends but something was always missing . You filled that missing spot, you made my darkness into light and I'm eternally grateful for that . I know now that I will never be strong enough, good enough , but I'll try , everytime I'll try because in the end all I want to do is be with you,and I'm sorry it took me that long to realize . And all this maybe cheesy bur you're not going to hear them that often so you better listen closely . I love you, I love you so much and I want to be with you, I want to be the man who can protect you and I promise one day I will be , one day I'll be able to look in a mirror and say that I'm good enough for you, that you deserve me , and I'm going to mean it . But until I reach to that point I want you beside me every step of the way and I promise I'm going to do my best but you'll have to keep up with me " juvia smiled and tears started falling from her eyes .
" Juvia has been putting up with Gray-sama for years she thinks she can handle it " he smiled and squished her hand.
" I'm ridiculous aren't I? " they laughed and Juvia got closer .
" No you're just in love" and finally after everything, all the chaos , and loss ,and sadness, and happiness, and laughs , their lips intertwined and not even them could describe how magical it felt . It was just right , everything was finally right .
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*let's pretend their kissing *
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angstalottle · 6 years ago
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Soulmate
I got @cantijustwish for the langst exchange, hope you like it
Everyone knew that finding your soulmate was both a blessing and a curse. After all it was only after the two first touch was it possible to feel. It was said that it was such a way so that a person could only truest experience life after they found their one true love. This is course was both a blessing and a curse, after all the same touch that will allow a person to feel a gentle hand caress their hair, is also the touch that will let them know the meaning of pain. Lance had grown up with stories from his mother how the pain was worth it, that nothing could cancel out the feelings of love that holding her husband and children brought her. Deep down Lance believed in love and longed for it, but as an accident prone child he also learnt to fear the possibility of falling in love with his soulmate and having to suffer because of it. But at 17 and now in space the possibility of actually finding his soulmate was slim to none. After all he had touched hands with all the members of the team and to his relief found that none of them were meant for him. Or so he thought. To say the mission had gone wrong was the understatement of the century. The paladins were playing diplomats in teams of two on separate planets. Keith and Lance had been placed together, Allura believing the two would work well to cancel out the others negative traits. The planet had welcomed the two with a ball and offered them both royal clothes of black silk pants and shirts with high collared capes in the colour of their respective armour colour. This meant that when the Galra attacked they were unarmed and lacked any way to call for backup. The first shot came so suddenly that Keith didn’t even realise it was coming until he was pushed out of the way and watching in horror as Lance crumbled to the ground blood seeping out from a wound in his shoulder. A wound that would have pierced Keith’s heart. Everyone began to scream and run as Galra soldiers stormed the room. With no other choice Keith pulled Lance to his feet throwing his good arm around his shoulders and ran towards the surrounding forest. As their hands made contact for the first time without Keith’s gloves a warmth spread through the red paladin. The smooth material of the clothes he wore. The softness of Lance’s hair tickling against his neck. The wetness of Lances blood dripping down his side. Lance however felt none of the warmth. Or the material, or Keith’s hair, or even the blood that made his arm slick. All he felt was pain. The white hot agony that engulfed his shoulder and seemed to jolt through him with every step. As the scream tore from his throat and darkness surrounded his vision a thought came to Lance’s mind and that was Keith. They ran into the dark cover of the trees not stopping until Lance’s legs finally gave out. Keith tried to pull him back to his feet but to no avail. Looking around frantically for some kind of cover Keith’s eyes fell upon a large tree with a rotted out indent in the base of its mighty trunk offering just enough room for him and Lance to squeeze inside out of view of their attackers.
Lance as since fallen silent, his breathing coming out in laboured puffs as his eyes were scrunched up in pain. His hand was covered in the sticky blood as he held his shoulder desperate for some kind of comfort.
The stench of blood hung heavily in the air as a puddle formed beneath Lance, Keith knew he had already lost too much… if he didnt do something soon Lance could die.
A lump formed in his throat as a fear he had not felt before settled in the back of his mind, he could lose his soul mate…
Shaking his head he got to work removing his shirt and ripping it into bandages before tieing them tightly, be it a little clumsily, over Lance’s wound.
Hearing the blue paladin cry out in pain as Keith secured the makeshift bandage was nothing more then awful.
“Im sorry…” Keith mumbled brushing Lance’s sweaty bangs out of his face.
A single blue eye opened up to look at him, it was watery and filled with pain “n...not your fault” Lance breathed out.
“How can you say that?!” Keith yelled “it's my fault you got hurt and it's my fault that you can feel the damage done to you!”
Keith didn't even realise he was crying until one of Lance’s hands shakily whipped away the tears.
Keith couldn't help but laugh as he placed his own hand over Lance’s. “Shouldn't i be the one comforting you?” Lance responded with a snort “Yeah well… looked like you needed it… mullet.” he teased quietly. Much too quietly.
Placing his free hand on Lance’s cheek Keith found it cold and clammy to the touch, even in the warm air he shivered and his skin had taken on a ashen grey quality to it.
Keith sighed “You've lost too much blood.”
Lance let out a low groan “yeah that sounds about right… how bad is it?”
Keith tried to swallow that lump in his throat but it stubbornly remained “i'd say we’re about a mile away from the palace and our armour, the others aren't due to pick us up for another two days and... “
“And i may not make it that long?” Lance asked doing his very best to hide his terror at the thought behind a confident smile “good thing i'm here with you then, Hunk would be a sobbing mess right about now.”
Keith smiled and before he could stop himself he leaned over and kissed Lance on the forehead “you don't have to worry about cheering me up, let someone worry about you for a change.”
The smile on Lance’s face faded away. He didn't say anything but when Keith tried to pull away he grabbed hold of his wrist and pulled him close.
That was how they spent the night.
Lance curled up against Keith’s chest shivering despite the heat that slowly began to come off him.
By the next morning Lance was burning with fever and no matter how hard Keith tried he just wouldn't wake up.
With no way to measure the growing temperature Keith could only watch and pray that it wasn't too high as he left Lance to go and try to find some water.
He only planned to be away a hour tops, but thanks to spotting a Galra patrol near the river, Keith had no choice but to take the long way back, meaning when he finally returned the sky was growing dark and Lance was convulsing on the floor.
The water was dropped and forgotten as Keith ran inside in a panic only to end up standing there helplessly.
There was so much blood sprayed across the floor and Keith knew he just knew Lance wasn't just going to bounce back from this.
Without having any other ideas he fell to his knees and began to sob.
Long and hard wails came from his throat in a way that he hasn't cried since he thought he lost Shiro all those months ago.
He was going to lose Lance
He was going to lose his soul mate.
Just as his cries reached their peak a loud raw came from above them.
Keith starred up as the Red lion descended through the trees above them.
Everything happened so quickly after that, Keith carried Lance into his lion and they raced back to the castle.
Keith didn't even slow down to explain to the others what he was doing back so early, he had to get Lance to a pods.
That was his mission, that was all he cared about.
Lance was in the pods for a week.
His fever was up to 106 and his wound was infected.
Keith didn't leave his side even for a moment.
Not even Shiro could get him to get some rest, nothing could pull him away from Lance, not now not ever.
Fairly early in the morning the pod hissed open and Lance fell out into Keith's waiting arms.
“Hey” Lance whispered.
“Hey” Keith replied “lance i-”
“Shut up” Lance cut him off as he pulled Keith into a kiss.
It was long and passionate leaving the two breathless when they finally pulled away.
“Wow… i… i never knew how amazing a kiss would feel” Lance laughed as Keith picked him up and spun him round.
“I always knew it would be amazing as long as it was with you...i...i love you Lance.”
Lance smiled at his soulmate “I love you too.”
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tessxomarie · 6 years ago
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Saving You - Part I
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*Hi everyone! First, I need to shoutout @hellosupernaturaldoctor​  for giving me advice and the confidence to even attempt this. This is my very first time writing any fan-fiction and the first time I’ve decided to post any of my writing some place other than a word doc. I’ve had this idea for this story since mid-season of the Mayans, and after the finale I put all my thoughts into a story. It starts off slow, but I promise what I have in store next will be worth it! PS, Any feedback is appreciated! - This story takes place a few months after the season one finale. Ez is now a newly patched in member, Alvarez is still working for Galindo; things have been quiet as of late, well for the most part.*
It’s a Friday afternoon, I’m just getting off of work. It’s hot as fuck outside – guess that’s the price you pay when you live in the desert. I lazily gather my purse from the backroom, before I step foot outside, I redo my hair. What was once a cute pony tail this morning has turned into a mangled mess. As my luck would have it, my hair tie snaps as soon as I go to wrap it around a third time. “Fuck.” I mumble to myself. I always wear an extra hair tie on my wrist, but I cannot have a naked wrist. “Fine, a mangled mane I will have. It’s fine, it’s fine.” I whisper to myself. If I don’t leave here now, I will lose all sanity I have left. Man, what a shit show day today has been, this heat must be getting to the kids. Two broken wrists, a broken arm, a no helmet incident and a random summer cold. I didn’t get puked or shit on, and no kid attempted to kick or hit, so I call today’s shit show a success. Just as I’m about to leave, one of my co-workers stops me, “Leah, good work today. You kept that broken arm kid really calm. Keep it up.” Elena tells me with a smile. “Thanks, Elena. I’m just doing my job, but I always welcome feedback, so thanks again.” I say to her as I head out the back door. It’s 4:30pm, I’ve been on the clock since 6am, one would think I deserve to simply go home and use my complex’s pool – oh one can dream. But nope, I’m still on the clock but I guess you could call this gig more of an always “on-call” service.
I pull up in my old school blacked out Jeep Grand Cherokee about twenty minutes after I leave the clinic to the Romeo Brothers Scrapyard, also known as the headquarters for the Mayans MC.  
Chucky greets me, per usual. “Greetings Nurse Aleeah.” He says to me with a big smile and a salute. I let out a giggle as I always do whenever someone says my full name…I rarely ever go by it, but around here, I hear it more than I have in years. But Chucky, oh Chucky– how does one describe a chronic masturbator who has a good heart and is part of the biker world without truly being a biker? I guess I just did, didn’t I? “Hey Chucky, how are you?” I ask as I park and exit my Jeep. “I am well, swell actually. I have no complaints today.” Chucky answers with a big smile. “Good, I’m glad to hear that.” I say as I give his arm a friendly squeeze. “The boys need your assistance, I don’t know details but clearly someone got messed up hence why you are here.” Chucky explains in typical Chucky fashion.I roll my eyes as I stand in front of the clubhouse. “It’s always something with these boys, huh?” I rhetorically ask. Chucky nods his head and heads back to the office. I walk up the steps and take a deep breath before I enter the clubhouse. This club is like a box of chocolates, you never know what the fuck you’re going to get so it’s best you just grin and bear it. Is it just a cut from a broken beer bottle? Did a fight break out and there is blood everywhere? A bullet wound? A stabbing wound? A rat bite? Like I said, you just never know. I open the doors and pray today is nothing major. “Have no fear, your favorite RN is here.” I announce as I enter the clubhouse and strike a pose in the doorway.  “Umm, isn’t it RN BSN?” Riz corrects as he stands and greets me. “Have I told you that you’re my favorite?” I reply with a playful wink and smile, it does make me truly happy that these guys acknowledge and are proud of my accomplishments. “Hola Aleeah.” Riz says to me while we greet with a warm hug, per usual. “Hey, I spy my favorite nurse!” Gilly shouts from across the room. Creeper, Hank and Taza also wave from the card table. “Greetings gentlemen, you all seem to be in one piece.” I say as I mosey around the few tables between me and the guys. “Although that pleases me, who is the one who called up 1-800-Rescue Nurse?” I sarcastically spit, which receives some laughs from the guys. “They’re in church.” Hank points towards the door. “They? Plural?” I ask looking at Riz, and he nods to confirm. “Jesus Christ.” I say palming my face. “Lee Baby!” Coco shouts from exiting church and walking over to me with open arms. “Ah, Coco Loco.” I reply with a smile and we hug. “How are you doing, Coco?” I ask after we break our embrace. “A lot better than your next two victims.” He replies, him not making much eye contact and that just gives it away – I know automatically who my victims are. “You gotta be kidding me? They got into it again?!” All Coco does is nod and look down at the floor. “How bad?” I ask. “What do you mean? How bad do they look? Or how bad is it between them?” Coco asks me. I shake my head with disgrace. I angrily take my steps towards church and I aggressively open the door. “Damn, she is pissed.” I hear Creeper’s echo as I close the door, as soon I enter the room. Looking at the table, I see them. One is at one end, the other one on the opposite end. I drop my nurse’s bag on the table and cross my arms. “You two have some damn nerve - getting into it again. Jesus. You’re fucking brothers, you are blood – blood don’t do this shit.” I yell with anger and confusion. Silence fills the air as the guys look at each other and up at me. Bishop then looks over to me and quirks an eyebrow and half smile. “Excuse my poor manners, Bish. Your boys tend to make me lose all sanity I have left at the end of a work week.” I tell him as I walk over and give him a warm embrace. “Oh Leah, you’re fine. I know this shit has been out of control recently.” Bishop pauses and looks over to the guys. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll let you handle them now. I’ll be outside if you need a referee.” Bishop exits and I just stand there, crossed arms again. Both boys refuse to look me in the eye, but instead stare each other down. “Are you just going to stand there?” Angel seethes. I let out a sarcastic laugh. “Give me one good reason as to why I should fix the both of you up? Huh? Because as I see it, this is the fourth time this month…THIS MONTH!  Angel, please, humor me and explain to me why the fuck I should tend to your wounds yet again? Maybe if I let you both be, you’ll learn these fights aren’t worth it.” I take a deep breath myself, and I run my hand through my tangled hair, which I then end up putting up in a pony tail right after, I’ll just have to remember to find another hair tie to wear on my wrist later.   “Alright, I’m sorry I went off. You two, you two just frustrate me.” I say holding my hands up mimicking a surrender. I take another breath and look between the boys. My gaze is drawn to EZ, probably because he’s the easier one out of the two. “Okay, EZ, I see that nasty cut on your cheek, oh and your hand – good going big brother.” I say as I look over to Angel. He looks away the moment I look his way. “Shocker, EZ gets to be first yet again.” Angel chirps. “Seriously?” I snap. “I’m over here fucking bleeding, I could be dying but all you and anyone ever cares about is Ezekiel.”   “Shut it Angel, just shut it, please.” I beg. I start to tend to EZ’s war wounds; some cuts, a nasty one on his cheek – I’m guessing Angel’s rings got the best of him this time around. EZ, he doesn’t say much this time I’m here. I know that he feels the same way as me – he’s tired of this back and forth shit with his brother. “EZ, no more. It’s one thing when you all call me to take a bullet out, or to give a rabies shot, but this shit – playground fights, I’m done.” I explain as I place the last bandage strip to his cheek. EZ doesn’t make eye contact, and his jaw is clenched. His knees shaking. “I know, Lee. I’m sorry you’re doing this again.” EZ tells me as he finally meets my eyes for the first time. EZ, he’s easy to read. He wears his emotions in his eyes, his eyes right now are filled with pain and sadness. This whole feud with Angel, it’s taken a toll on everyone in this club. It’s been almost eight months of this fuckery. “Remove the bandage Sunday night, it needs about 48 hours to heal. If you feel the need to remove it beforehand, clean it thoroughly. Have some of your favorite tequila tonight, and you will be good.” I tell EZ as I throw away the things I used to care for him. “Thanks, Lee.” He says as he kisses me on the cheek and walks somberly out of church. My heart aches for EZ, because the pain – physical and emotional is all over his face and body. Angel hasn’t taken his eyes off of the wall nor has he spoken. I slide my bag down the table as I slowly make my way towards him. Rubber gloves are on, and I grab his face. “Let’s see your damage.” I say, like a dog would when a human goes to check their mouth for something, Angel gives me a little tension as I touch his face. Again, no eye contact. A look of annoyance screams from his expression. I see a nasty cut on the side of his head, by his eye – a sensitive area which bleeds more than most. A black eye is also forming. “Jesus Christ, Angel.” I say examining the cut a little further. “This has to stop. I’m begging. I cannot deal with looking at you two like this, because my fear is that one day, I’m going to be too late to help any of you.” “What if it is?” He spews. I scoff, “No more.” Is all I manage to say. I take out an alcohol swab to clean out his cut. “This is going to sting, on the count of three – one, two, three.” I say as I then put the swab against the cut. A loud hiss comes from Angel and an instant reaction of mine is to grab his face and blow lightly at the cut, helping the sting not be so painful. Angel’s eyes then lock with mine, a look of shock and confusion fill his brown eyes. Angel and I, we’ve had a very interesting relationship since I first came to Santo Padre. He gave me an attitude and I gave it right back – he seemed more pissed off when I talked back than just walking away, and the more I talked back, the more tension built up between us. We started out on the wrong foot, and that’s how we have remained. He lets me care for him, depending on the time of day. Sometimes he lets his girlfriend, well I think she’s his girlfriend, Adelita, clean him up. Today, for whatever reason, he stuck around the clubhouse. I continue to blow on his wound, and I wince back in pain for him because I know it had to sting like a bitch. “Uhh, sorry. It’s a habit of mine, when I treat the kids, I have to do this; they hate it too, so that technique helps them...” I ramble and look away because I sense a bit of embarrassment, as I’ve never been “nice” to Angel. I look and reach back at the table to grab what I need next, just as I turn to face Angel again, I notice a very small smile on his face. “What?” I question, because seeing him smile legit concerns me. “It’s nothing, Leah.” He says monotone and lets me continue working on him. A few more minutes go by, and I determine that he doesn’t need any stitches, just a little butterfly work on one of his eyebrows. “Okay, that’s all. No stitches today, that cut on the side of your face, it’s a sensitive area that bleeds more than most. Your eyebrow cut, it’s an awkward cut – it’s ugly but not ugly enough for stitches. My only request is when you clean it out, could you please use both water and soap?” I emphasize. I know how these guys operate. They either use a dirty rag or tap water to clean themselves up. I turn to clean up my stuff and Angel lets out a minor laugh, which catches me off guard. I look at him and quirk an inquisitive look. Angel stands up, he turns behind his chair and lightly pounds his fist to the back of it. “You sounded just like my ma.” He tells me, in the softest voice I have ever heard Angel speak in. I offer him a small smile as I already know what that history is. Angel leaves church, and per usual no other words are spoken, no thank you’s, nothing. I stay behind a few more moments and collect my thoughts and belongings. I hear the door open, at first I’m startled but relieved it’s just Bishop. “How we doin’, sweetheart?” He asks. I let out a very deep sigh and my facial expression tells my feelings of this whole ordeal. Bishop can’t help but laugh, “I know, Lee. I know.” He tells me as he pulls me in for a hug. “I just need to go home and lay in bed and watch a trashy romcom.” I exclaim as I grab my bag. “I think you’ve deserved that, but before you go – you have a visitor.” He tells me. A look of a deer in the head-lights flashes across my face, who the hell could be visiting me? “Just come with me.” Bishop motions for me to take his hand and follow him. Nerves take over, with the Club, you never know what can happen. As I exit the room, I see the guys scattered all over the clubhouse yet all eyes are on me. “Your visitor is the biggest pain in my ass, so make it quick.” Bishop says, but I catch his playfulness I his voice and I look to the bar and I see who Bishop is talking about – Marcus Alvarez.
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hazbinextgeneration · 5 years ago
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These Few Moments
How does one decide another's worth? How does one predict another's personality or their impact they leave behind? Well unless you can see into the future and know for sure what you're dealing with then you're in for surprises. Which is what happened to him not too long ago. He could admit(just to himself) that he never expected to be surprised by someone he originally perceived as an easy pawn to his own needs. He never expected to be the one drawn to something so opposite of himself. But here he was, one moment minding himself the next- She didn't even know he was watching as she shifted through the small stack of papers in her hands. Her purple eyes narrowed and scrunched snout in thought. Suddenly her purple eyes lit up and she turned to him. He adverted his eyes just in time to not arose suspicions. "Everything seems organized already." "Is it now?" She nodded before leaning arcoss the desk to show him the neat stack of papers to him. His eyes glazed over the newspaper in his hand, raising a brow at her work. "Excellent! Now, why don't you put those away, Pet? Im sure you'll be busy with other things tomorrow." She rolled her eyes but leaned away. "Ok. I get the hint." He chuckled but sat back. A slight pang of pain shot up his left arm from the movement of his body but gritted his teeth and bit it down in front of company. Just a slight cramp from signing nothing but papers all day. Anyones arm would be sore....Come to think of it. How long had they been at this paper pushing fiasco? A couple hours by the way his wrist was feeling. He reached it out to grabb at the mug on the desk when another throb coursed through his arm. A single hiss escaped his gritted teeth which caught her attention. Her brow rose and she gave him a questioning look. "Are ...you alright?" His grin came back up. "Of course. Being tired is no problem..." His eyes glanced too the cup for a moment. "..Why don't you make yourself useful and get me some more coffee, Flower? Im going to need more energy if Im going to deal with this." "Alright. You're the boss." "And don't forget that.~" She rolled her eyes but received the mug whilst standing up. Grin still present on his face. She gave him another look before laying down the papers with her other hand and turning around. He waited for her back to turn and she was walking away before grimacing and holding up his sore wrist up to his face with a hiss. His muscles were cramped and tight when he moved the red digits. Just great. He rotated the pained appendage causing more pain and his eye to twitch in irritation. Mumbling to himself, he carefully set the wrist back down onto the desk and reached his good arm over to grab the papers. Slapping them down in front of him and staring at the words typed upon them. Eyes furrowed in irritation. He didn't notice the return of the lady who stopped momentarily upon seeing his annoyed expression. She frowned slightly upon noticing it. Did she do something wrong when she organized them? Or was he not happy with something written on it? She gulped down the rock in her stomach and put a smile on her face. "Hey." He flinched a bit and looked up at her. She held up the now warm mug. "You're drink's ready." He grumbled and made a motion for her to come in. She did but tilted her head to look at his face. "Is everything ok?" "Lovely," he grumbled. She placed the mug by his free hand and straightened back up. He didnt make an attempt to grab it at first and instead glanced up at her. "Amalfia.... Would you give me a moment? I....have something to take care of." She gave a puzzled look, but it was probably best not to argue when Lou was in a bad mood. So Amalfia turned and began making her way out. He initially cursed under his breath and subconsciously reached for the mug as he always did when he was irritated- ...The sound of a demonic cry and shattering glass made Amalfia jump and spin back around towards the desk to a very.....panicked scene. The plant demon hissed and clutched onto his wrist, the mug shattered in bits on the floor and liquid spilt all over the desk and by the looks of it him. Well she wasn't one to stand by while her boss was in pain. Hurrying over, her hand grabbed his shoulder. "Oh my god! Are y-?" His head snapped to her. "IM FINE!!" She immediately let go and stood back a couple steps back from the flashing red eyes. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he blinked and slowly slumped back from the tense pose he was in, giving a more calm look. The two stood there for a moment before Lou cleared his throat and excused himself from situation. Still clutching his wrist. ********************** The pain Hadn't reduced surprise, surprise. But instead hurt more if that was even possible ironically. Which irritated him further. The calm darkness of the room brought some ease to his mind at least, couldn't say the same for his hand, which was stiff as a board and slightly burnt from the hot drink spilling all over everything, but that one was on him to be honest. He sighed and stretched his body out slowly. It was going to be a long night with this problem. He almost didn't hear the knock at the door but looked up anyways. "...." Sighing he rubbed his face. "If this is a report for anything, it can wait until morning." There was a small silence, and he thought whoever it was left, when the doorknob turned and the door opened slowly with a creak. The plant demon rose a brow but stared in slight surprise when a white face poked into the entrance, she gave him an uncertain look before asking- "Do you still want me to leave?" "Uh...N-No. No. Don't just stand there." He gestured a hand. "Come in. And close the door behind you." She did but slowly. The door was closed with a click and she stood there silently. He regarded her with a raised brow before looking back down to his wrist. "Is there something wrong?" She didn't say anything for a moment but looked down in guilt. "Im sorry. " ".....Excuse me?" "I said Im sorry. I didn't know you would burn yourself...Im sorry." Silence. "Don't be." ...She blinked and looked up at him. "w-wha-" "You heard me. Don't apologize for something you didn't do." He glanced up at her from his sitting position. "It wasn't your intention to harm me was it?" "What?! N-No!" "Well there you go." "Why are you holding your wrist like that?" He gave her a questioning look and she pointed to his arm. "Are you ok?" she held out a hand towards him. When he didn't pull away she gently took a few steps and softly grabbed his good arm. Her eyes flashed confused worry at him. "Does it hurt?" When she reached her other hand towards his hurt wrist, he gave a sudden inhale of pain and he stopped. "Its...sore. Nothing I can't take care of myself." "I can see that." "I've suffered worse." "I don't doubt that, but you're more stubborn than a hellhorse." He gave an offended look but froze when she came around to the other side of him and sat down, gently taking his hand in hers. He gave her a confused look and she smiled. "I have an idea. My father used to have bad cramps and aches, my mother used to fix them easily. If you'll let me try that is?" When he didn't answer, she delicately pressed down on the sore flesh. Immediate pain spiked up his arm but he bit down any hisses and instead opted for digging his free hand into the mattress. Amalfia didn't seem to notice as she continued to carefully press down onto the tender flesh in strides. After a minute, the tightness in his palm decreased and he was left with a dull pain. She noticed his body loosened up on that tense aura and smiled. "Starting to feel better?" He hummed. "I suppose." His red eyes glanced over her working hands before trailing up to her face. "....You're solution is acceptable." A snort. "Just acceptable? Your way would've left you in another hour of aches and pains and acting like Midnight when one of her potions explodes." The comparion made him chuckle. "My dear. I am more capable of controlling my emotions than her." Purple eyes glanced up at him in amusement. "Oh? So acting like a baby because of a little cold air is capable control?" "Ill have you know that cold wind has severe damage on plant life, I have a right to be upset." She giggled. "Well, you're the boss." "And don't you forget that." "I haven't." She stopped and gave him a look. "To be quite honest, I think you're not given enough credit as far as Im concerned." His ears perked up at her answer. "Oh really?" She nodded. "And what do you mean by that, Pet? Id love to hear from you., She rolled her eyes. "And inflate your ego? I don't think so.....But I will say you're more agreeable and understanding than most men I've met. And actually know what you're doing. Not to mention tolerable. I don't see how you can deal with all the stuff around here with Disease and-..." She stopped upon seeing the smirk on his face. "...What?" "Don't let me stop you. Please, continue.~ But I believe you forgot a few of my better qualities.~" This sent her into a small giggle fit. Making him smike wider. "You know I have those qualities. Helping me deal with the idiots I work with....But not you. In all honestly, your work is quite admirable. " "....You really think so?" He paused for a moment, looking into those dark purple eyes staring back at him. She patiently stared back. Those purple eyes blinked and looked down to the feeling of those red digits closing around her own hand. Pink rushed to her cheeks and her body flinched when something touched her cheek. The red eyes holding neutral emotion towards the situation between them. "Yes." ********************************* Something I did with Amalfia x Lou. Lou belongs to @Palettepainter
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CHATS: More Dumpsters, More Fires 1
#1 - This is my oldest chat recorded between Anna and Jo, and I believe it is after the Grey+Anna Alleyway scene and the Ruby+Anna hospital scene
<Anna> *several voice mails asking for a Jo Harvelle on the behalf of an Anna Milton a patient at _______ hospital*
<Jo> *Kicking and swearing, Jo takes a few minutes to consider just not going before heading out to the car and driving towards where the messages say, glad it’s not five states away or something. When she gets there theres talk about her having selfharmed in the hospital as well as the state she was found in. Asking for some privacy, Jo slips into the room* “What the fuck did you do?”
<Anna> *Anna’s still groggy from surgery, a stab wound to abdomen and the best words the doctors could describe it was mutitaltion to the ankle. She blinks at Jo, padded cuffs around her wrists.* “Jo..” *Before Anna can say anything else a doctor comes in explaining that she was found on the streets unresponsive and then after she was brought in she went through the medical supplies, two scalpels found*
<Jo> *Jo nods along looking between Anna and where the medical supplies were, looking unimpressed before following the normal dance with doctors, nodding and making the appropriate sincere faces and distressed looks before going to the other woman’s side and touching just above her wrist like a concerned friend should as they talked before the doctor left at a page* “Hey Anna. So.. what happened?”
<Anna> *Anna’s eyes follow the doctor as he walks out and she looks at Jo. She’s drugged good, between pain meds and others to keep her calm she just swallows several times before answering* “Didn’t do this, please believe me..please..”
<Jo> “Never thought you’d be fucked up enough to.” *Jo sighs, hooking her foot around the leg of a visiting chair and sitting down* “Who did?”
<Anna> “Ruby..” *Anna tries to lift her head up but she doesn’t get very far as the motion makes her sick.* “Thought she would kill me..”
<Jo> *Giving a look around, Jo stands up again drawing the curtain and closing the blinds before coming back to the bed and working on Anna’s wrist bands* “Let me guess, you’d somehow gotten yourself stuck in here with whatever fainting spell you had and then Ruby came for a little revenge.”
<Anna> *Anna just nods afraid to mention anything about Grey just yet, she doens’t want Jo to get pissed off and leave her hear.* “Thought, she kill me, Crowley couldn’t get to anyone, Gray could kill her..everyone better off.”
<Jo> “Bullshit. That dickhead would go insane or completely crumple, nodboy would be better off in either of those situations.” *Jo tries to keep her tone lighter than the subject needed, knowing it would probably work best to avoid thinking about just how serious Anna’s words really were* “Nothing good comes from dying, I know first hand from both sides of the coin.”
<Anna> “Your death gave them reason to keep fighting.” *The cuffs being removed was something simple but it made her feel better, helped the anxiety, or maybe it was the drugs, she couldn’t tell.*  "Always the one people will fight for, better of us.“
<Jo> "Yeah yeah, you believe that if you wish. Everyone would have fought anyway, and having people die doesn’t make anyone better off.” *Waving off the comments, Jo sits back down in her chair, leaning forward, elbows resting on her knees as she look down towards Anna’s feet and raising an eyebrow at the other one* “So, if Ruby did all the big bad injuries, what landed you here in the first place?”
<Anna> *Anna’s numb from the knee down, a local block given, she’s not aware of the thick bandages covering leg from the knee down and the split keeping her ankle still. They hadn’t actually operated on it, wanting to call in a specialist with so much damage done to the tendons and nerves.* “I don’t remember..” *Anna bites her lip, wincing as she feels one of the busted spots crack open*
<Jo> “You were found unconcious just lying in an alleyway, that doesn’t sound like something normal for you Anna - though who knows, you’ve changed a fair bit recently.” *Still looking at the comparratively small amount of injury to one foot compared to the almost mumified existance of the other, Jo raises an eyebrow as she wonders just what Ruby did* “If you tell me nicely, I’ll actually get you out rather than just sweet talk you to being transfered back to Duluth.”
<Anna> “May have passed out from not eating, felt weak and dizzy..” *Anna lies, Jo will find the truth out later but she doesn’t want her to leave her or have her transfered somewhere else*
<Jo> “That the truth?” *Jo sighs, figuring that the food thing was partly her own fault if that was the case and swallows down a lump in her throat before pinning Anna with a look*
<Anna> *Anna looks away, it’s the medication she tells herself, that’s whats wrong as she feels herself close to crying under Jo’s look.* “Rest..may have been Grey, doesn’t see me as human but not worth killing..”
<Jo> *Blinking in disbelief for a second, Jo slaps a hand to her forehead before moving away, ducking out int the corridor for a few minutes before coming back in wheeling a wheelchair* “When we get back to Duluth I’ll call your brother to come and fix you, you just keep talking while I help get you changed. What the fuck happened in that alley, Anna?” *Jo starts pulling out spare clothes from her bag*
<Anna> “Ran into him, ran my mouth, exchanged insults, who was the worst.” *Anna laugh some as Jo helps her into a shirt, and she blinks seeing herself as she’s raised up, her middle hurts now that she’s moving.* “I bring out the worst in everyone.”
<Jo> “Didnt bring any skirts, so you’re going to have to wear a shirt across your lap like its a skirt until we get to the car.” *Jo mumbles under her breath, tugging her own shirt off as it might actuall pass a a hideous skirt and pulls on the shirt of Anna’s folded up nearby before shoving the others jeans in her bag and giving Anna an almost pissed off look* “You upset him enough he almost drained you? /What were you thinking?!/”
<Anna> *Anna whimpers as Jo puts her in the wheelchair, reaching over and pulling out the IV from her arm* “I was thinking if Gray had someone to kill for my death he would eventually move on instead of if I killed myself.”
<Jo> “And trying to set him on his brother is a real smart idea, given he got a taste of what you got the last time he came too close.” *Jo  literally wants to hit her head at Anna’s thinking, though getting her into the chair was hard enough and figuring out how to get her out of the hospital was going to be just as tricky with the white bandages* “Your dying, in any way, isnt going to save him Anna.”
<Anna> “You’ve said this..and what other time? I haven’t seen Gray in nearly a week. I took off after I trapped Ruby, hoping Crowley would take her as a peace offering..didn’t work it seems.”  *Anna holds up her arm so Jo can cut the bracelet off* “Maybe they will think I’ve been released or just going out for air..”
<Jo> “Nothing Anna. Its nothing. And that is a fucking inteligent move there you know, trap a demon and hope its a benefit. Especially when one of them is working /with/ the rest of us to get rid of Master Asshole.” *Jo cuts the wrist band off quickly, slinging her bag over her back and starts at a sedate pace towards the enterance, noticing the name of a different woman whose family was crowded around her, packing her bags as she’s obviously meaning to be discharged hoping to get there long before the others* “We’ll see.”
<Anna> *Anna doesn’t say anything as they walk out, the nurses busy helping the other woman. Going over after care and instructions while unhooking her from the monitors and fluids. They get to the elevator and as they go down Anna sags, letting out a breath. “I’m sorry..”
<Jo> *Jo gives a small snort, figuring that if nothing else the way Anna was almost drained and still out of it there was going to be some sort of fun come getting back to Duluth and her obviously missing monster* “What for? Your sheer idiocy? The fact you provoked my.. Grey to that sort of point? Or that I had to be the one to drive all this way to get you?”
<Anna> *Anna shrugs weakly as they go out to the parking lot, feeling better out of the hospital.* “For not changing my contact infromation?”
<Jo> “Don’t bother, I think it’s safer for everyone if I get the calls really.” *Jo shakes her head pushing the chair quickly as possible, not really caring about jolting it, across the carpark towards the back section where her cars parked* “What did you end up saying that got the /both/ of them to get you like this, Anna?”
<Anna> *Gripping the arm of the wheelchair as Jo pushes it roughly she gasps as it hits a hard bump before coming to the car* “A lot..whatever I could to piss them off. Not enough it seems.” *She’s panting when she tries to push herself up, she can start to feel her leg again and it’s not something she really wants too but she figures the pain is deserved.*
<Jo> *Jerking the passenger side door open, Jo leans in to shove the bag into the back before slipping an arm under Anna’s arms and lifting and tries to maneuver her into the seat as painlessly as possible* “This suicide wish is just going to make things worse for your monster, you know. Especially if someone presents it the /bad/ way to him - like you’d rather be dead than with him.”
<Anna> *Anna is breathing hard by the time she’s in the car, her head leaning back against the seat as Jo slams the door shut, once Jo gets in Anna looks at her.* “I made him weak..I’ve hurt him, made it so Grey can kill him..Crowley uses me against him.. it’s no more than what I deserve and he’s better off without me.”
<Jo> *Starting the engine, Jo pulls out and speeds off along the roads nearby towards the interstate before turning her head to look at Anna with a frown* “He’ll crumple without you, he and Grey aren’t too different in that aspect - your one is just a lot dumber. He’ll destroy himself going after things bigger than himself, kinda like you, rather than just turn his back like Grey will. You’re just goin' to get him killed getting yourself killed. Crowley won’t be an issue for too long - everyones workin’ together now, we’ll figure a way to get rid of him, and as for Grey being able to kill him, so long as he stays the fuck away from me and Grey your little fucker is safe enough from /him/.”
<Anna> “He’ll be fine without me.. I’m the one that needs protecting and crap. I’m the liability.” *Anna leans the seat back trying to find some position that doesn’t hurt, she’s lucky she guesses that the missed everything vital but the one in her leg was reminding her it ws still there.* “Grey was right in everything he said. And your right..Gray and I are too much alike. Too much pride.”
<Jo> “He’ll die. And you’re going to realise that right when you cant trn back from this crazy ass deathwish you’ve got going on.” *Jo says blankly, almost sounding gleeful when she starts her comments though it tones down as soon as she starts the second sentence.* “…What’d he say?”
<Anna> “Then why don’t you just kill me now, get both of us out of your way. You want him dead it’s no secret and I’m blind to him because we fuck..” *Anna snaps closing her eyes, the car ride making her feel sick again, the feeling of being useless making her feel crazy*
<Jo> “Because, I am not going to be the one that /can/ kill him if he’s after me for murdering you. Like I say, get the fuck over it Anna, your dying is not going to help or make things better, so just get the fuck over it.” *Jo snarls back pressing the pedal to the floor to try and make the trip as short as possible even though she knows its not going to help much*
<Anna> “Why did you come get me..should have just left me.” *Closing her eyes she tries to shut out everything, including the vibrations of the engine going right through her leg*
<Jo> *Jo sighs and hits a fist against the steering wheel as she over takes a few cars before replying* “Because I had to.”
<Anna> *Anna flinches and looks over at Jo* “Well I’m out, just pull over and leave me somewhere and you don’t "have to” ever again. I’m sure Grey will be pissed at you coming after me. One of us with a pissed off monster is enough.“
<Jo> "You don’t get it.” *Giving a shake of her head, Jo sends Anna a look with a very small smile* “As for having pissed off guys, I think you’d be much worse off than me.”
<Anna> “No I don’t..from anyone, or maybe I do. I don’t know anymore.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair looking out the window.* “Grey has a side to him that’s closer to Gray than I realized.”
<Jo> “Having to do something doesn’t mean you don’t want to. I owe you, and regardless of what I might say to some people, you’re still my friend so…” *Jo gives a shrug before looking at Anna curiously, a small frown tugging at her lips* “You forgot that yours /came/ from him. Grey is the original, and as much and as different as he is, he can be just as cruel and.. yeah, as the other.”
<Anna> “I told him that he couldn’t stand himself, that the better bits tossed him out like trash..” *Wiping her eyes she curls up against the door, her arms wrapped around herself.* “Maybe I’m delusional because I’m fucking Gray but he isn’t all bad..”
<Jo> *Jo snorts at Annas comments, knowing just how easily a reaction that could have gotten* “You shouldn’t go pokin people with sticks Anna. Especially when theyre not what they seem - Grey’s perfectly calm and lovely and stuff unless someone provokes him, that’s what /all/ of you seem to forget.” *Sighing, she shoots Anna a look and almost laughs aloud* “Yeah, I think the delusional is more likely.”
<Anna> *Anna doesn’t say anything, she’s quiet for a long time as they drive and when she does all the exhaustion comes through her voice* “I seperated them, Gray feeding on me, letting him but he’s never come close to doing what Grey did, even when he still saw me as just a toy. I cut Grey with iron, across the stomach, ironic that Ruby stabs me. I don’t hate Grey, I just hate how he thinks being meek makes him good.”
<Jo> “Its not that he’s meek, Anna, he’s just.. staying under the radar. Though there are a few, er, situations where I know exactly what you mean where I swear to fuck I’d rather him man up and take it like the rest of us rather than what he /does/ do - but, I don’t know.. that’s changing it seems.” *Jo looks straight out the front window, zooming past a few more cars in the second lane* “The iron is what made him snap. It’s a touchy thing with them, and as for the feeding, I know what you mean. Impulse control is kind of unfairly balanced to your monster. Its kind of really dangerous these days…”
<Anna> “Gray is far more controlled. He rages and destroys but it’s controlled. Grey snaps and it’s a runaway train till it runs out of steam. More dangerous. He fed off me before, at the hospital after the wreck, he told me about me and Gray and I grabbed him on the arm or something and he didn’t have control.” *Anna breathes slowly trying to ignore the fact the nerve block is gone now.*
<Jo> “Yeah, I know he told me bout that. The snapping is.. it can get scary sometimes. Then there’s the times you’re upset and it happens.” *Jo keeps her tone even, looking across at Anna when she hears the almost laboured breathing* “Ive got some heavy duty painkillers in the glove box but theres nothing we can do until we get back to Duluth about anything else, Anna. Just try not to pass out on me.”
<Anna> *Anna cringes at the idea of pills but then a bump on the road makes her see stars and she reaches over, fumbling with the glove box and she takes out the bottle, looking at it before opening and pouring out two into hand.* “What do you see in Grey?”
<Jo> *Jo looks apologetically when she sees Anna react to the suggestion and then the bump, slowing down slightly and keeping a closer look out for any jolts on the road. Anna’s question makes her frown, shootign her a look before looking straight again* “What do /you/ see in Gray?”
<Anna> *dry swallowing the pills Anna gives Jo a look as she puts the pills back in the glove box, swallowing a few more times trying to get them unstuck from her throat.* “I asked you first.”
<Jo> *Jo reaches an arm behind her blindly, fiddlng about for a few moments before producing a rather beaten looking water bottle for her, though she doubts anyone would want to drink from it if they had a choice* “Fine. He’s nice, we have similar interests in non-work related things, he doesn’t give me too much shit about stuff or rather not the little stuff - man will really ride you about the bigger things though. We just get along is all. Now you.”
<Anna> *Taking the warm bottle of water, Anna questions how long it’s been in the car and she has to choke it down and wait to make sure the plastic tasting liquid isn’t going to come back up before she speaks.* “He changed, it went from being possessive to caring. Gray is protective, loving in private. When it’s us, his attention is just on me and it’s passionate, I’m just me. We fight sure, had some good ones but I’m learning to not be so stubborn with him.”
<Jo> “Why do I get the feeling your fights would be more likely to be more Mr and Mrs Smith than Sid and Nancy?” *Jo is suprised when Anna drinks but figures she would in her situation too, finding Anna’s words hard to believe given she knew first hand how stubborn and proud the both of them were but figures neither has killed the other yet so it must be something different*
<Anna> *Anna laughs and then whimpers when Jo makes the comment about the fights. “I locked him in the bedroom with iron. All he had to do was take something and move it. Stubborn ass destroyed teh room instead of moving it.” *Anna leans back looking at Jo.* “I can see Grey nagging you and how well that goes over. How many times have you stormed out on him?”
<Jo> *Jo gives a snort of laughter at the description, breezing past another car before shaking her head* “Brawn over brains, Gray is. As for nagging and storming out, me and Grey aren’t.. neither of us really comment on what the other is up to. He does his.. hunting, and I do mine. The most is a ‘be safe’, 'call me if you’re in trouble’ and a disapproving look if I try to head out while still injured”
<Anna> “No wonder you like him. I’m glad you seem happy with him.” *The pain killers are starting to kick in and she leans the seat back a bit more. The hopsital probably doped her good but she’s relaxed and it feels nice to talk to Jo like this again. “So out of them, who is the better one in bed?”
<Jo> “Because he doesn’t bitch about what I do or don’t do? As for.. it’s just a friends thing, or a mostly friends thing. Once again, it’s weird.” *Jo shrugs a shoulder, looking over at Anna in shock at her question, letting out a laugh seeing how much clamer she seems* “Why do you wanna know? You’re not going to be trading up if I say the one you’re not with are you?”
<Anna> *Anna snorts, her eyes closed* “Grey wouldnt piss on me if I was on fire. Just curious because like you said they are the same  monster, talking dirty is a kink or maybe it’s just because I’m supposed to be pure.”
<Jo> “You know.. I can’t actually disagree with the on fire part.” *Smiling and shaking her head, Jo looks forward as she considers what Anna said* “I think the easiest way to describe it is one is a hard, rough fuck that I felt sore, dirty and spent after, while the other is more giving and treats me better even if he will pull on my hair and dig in his nails. The dirty talk I think is both though..”
<Anna> “I think it helps I like the hard rough fuck and he likes making me feel dirty and spent. Still waiting for Castiel to say something about what he heard while at the apartment.” *Swallowing Anna opens her eyes tryin to tell how far off they are.* “Where are we going?”
<Jo> “That would be awkward a conversation if I ever heard one. I always thought I liked that sort myself but..” *Jo flicks a look across to Anna before glancing about and spotting a road sign* “We’re not far off. Going back to Duluth, unless you want me to drop you on Bobby and Mom instead.”
<Anna> “No. Last thing they need is an angry monster destroying Bobby’s place.” *Closing her eyes again she tries to get comfortable again.* “Do you love him?”
<Jo> “Home it is then. I’d offer you a place at mine if you were trying for a runaway, except someone’s boytoy destroyed one of the bedrooms.” *Frowning, Jo rolls her shoulders awkwardly, pressing the gas harder unintentionally* “Love him how?”
<Anna> *Anna breathes in as Jo guns the gas* “How? You’re the human, you understand love better than me or you are supposed to. Could you see yourself living with him for the rest of your life?”
<Jo> “Well theres lots of types of love, Anna..” *She mumbles back, letting go of the wheel with one hand to scratch the back of her neck before slowing off the pedal again* “I could, it’d be pretty easy to, yeah. Why can you with Gray?”
<Anna> “I could. Of course now he might not want too but well if he leaves now, its for the best.” *Resting her head against the window she tightens her arms around her and she hopes the ride is over soon.* “I feel alive with him and it’s everything I didn’t feel as an angel.”
<Jo> “Number one problem with being human, can’t just switch bodies no matter how mutilated and malformed and broken we get.” *Jo sighs, sending Anna a look and figuring that even if Cas were upset with her he’d fix her, or she could always see if she couldn’t swing a favor from Gabriel in exchange for what information she got from Cas about the spell* “You sound like an adrenaline junkie.”
<Anna> “Not talking about that, I thought Crowley branding me would turn him away, it makes him angry but it hasn’t stopped him from touching me.” *Anna doesn’t voice that this is what she deserves and she’s afraid of Ruby repeating it if it’s healed, she’s not sure she wants to ever go through that again. “You would know about that wouldnt you.”
<Jo> “So he’ll accept having someone elses name written all over you, but won’t accept you not being able to walk? I’d think he’d find the appeal of your not being able to run off an advantage.” *Jo tries for joking as she realises theyre getting nearer town as the few recognisable houses start popping up before shooting Anna a look* “I am not that bad. Sorta.”
<Anna> *Anna doesn’t respond, she’s slumped against the door, arms laying limp in her lap. She’s passed out from a combination of drugs and pain.*
<Jo> *Jo sighs realising Anna’s fallen asleep and considering how to get her into the apartment when she gets back to the bar, but opts instead to park near the back and pray to god she’s left the workbed in the room downstairs made - figuring she’d hang around and keep an eye on her until either Anna woke up or Gray showed his head, maybe even play with a few things she remembers leaving behind*
#2 - Anna bitching at Jo for Jo saying she should be the one tactically to test the traps for Crowley
<Anna> Jo is really annoying anna
<Jo> Glad Im not the only one
<Anna> LOL
<Anna> Anna’s just sorta twitching
<Jo> Because she’s being cavalier (fuck is that the word I want? goddamn) or..?
<Anna> that and the whole “you have  more to live for”
<Anna> anna is looking around going..wtf are you seeing that i’m not
<Anna> because..i have a monster
<Anna> and some pissed off siblings
<Anna> and..yea
<Anna> also it’s going back to the whole thing she was ranting at Gray about..fine she’s about shit useless now in a fight but she still knows stuff and Jo is just totally taking that away from her and making her feel shit useless in every way lol
<Jo> *nodnod* That one came out of left field but I think Jo’s kind of gone ‘Taking the monsters out of the equation, youre the one holding the damn building up over these strays and misfits heads, your keeping your crazy brother focussed and honestly more useful being where you are and being able to share what you know. Sure Mom and Bobby and maybe Sam and Dean would be sad if I disappeared, but its
<Jo> not like theyre going to crash and burn’
<Anna> also anna thinks jo ability to plan is bordering on idiodic
<Jo> LOL just a tad
<Anna> it’s totally messing with her angel leader ocd
<Jo> But sometimes the dumbest move will work the best is what she’s thinking. Charging straight in sometimes works cause no one expects anyone to be that goddamn dumb
<Anna> and that whole no one would miss me….“THIS IS NOT A FUCKING CARTOON JO! STOP WATCHING DEANS JAPANESE PORN!”
<Anna> well I’m awake now after that just went screaming through my head
<Jo> “I DONT WATCH CARTOON PORN! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN STAR WARS? NO ONE WOULD GO WALKING RIGHT THROUGH IN THOSE SUITS EXCEPT THE DUMBEST FUCKS IN THE WORLD AND IT WORKED!”    Dammit Anna
<Anna> “I’m starting to see Lucifer’s frustration of why you humans are the favored species.”
<Jo> “Because we realise sometimes people really don’t plan for the morons of the world? Theres a reason the evil geniuses are always foiled, and its because they think everyone is as smart as them.”
<Anna> *Anna just walks away*
<Jo> Clever woman
<Anna> she’s muttering about she’s glad you and dean never hooked up..the world couldn’t handle teh stupidity that would be your kids with both parents thinking this is valid logic
<Jo> *dead*
<Jo> Jo’d like to rebutt that with how headstrong Anna and Dean’s kids would be if Anna’d not juiced up right after.
<Anna> “headstrong but clever is better than headstron and dumb.”
<Anna> “at least with me thrown in the mix the kids would have a 50/50 chance of having brains.”
<Jo> “But a 100% chance of some seriously screwed up morals and values.”
<Anna> “I would take that over stupidity.”
<Jo> “Neither me nor Dean is that damn dumb. We just appreciate logic differently.”
<Anna> *Anna twitching visibly* “NONE OF THIS IS LOGIC, IT’S GOING IN BLIND HOPING FOR THE BEST. IT’S STUPID AND ILL PREPARED. ”
<Anna> she’s beating her head on the wall
<Anna> this is new
<Jo> “Well let me put it to you like this, would you expect someone to be dumb enough to call you into a place filled with altered, untested traps and hope for the best if you were Crowley? Or would it catch you off guard?”
<Jo> LOL
<Anna> “No because unlike Crowley if I was the one with the power I would have never allowed any of you to live to begin with.”
<Jo> “And what is logical about his approaches at all then? If he’s being illogical, then it only makes sense for me to be too!”
<Anna> “No he’s arrogant. Like Uriel was.”
<Jo> “Whatever, my plan would work for a bit. Enough to test some. And might be amusing enough to get me away”
<Jo> (  http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=pFVx058IVsI   )
<Anna> “Let me ask you this, say your plan doesn’t work. Say none of them hold him, which tehre is a high chance that happens and you get yourself killed. You just gave it away that everyone including angels are working against him and he’s going to go on a killing spree afterwards. You just totally wrecked everyone else’s chance at stopping him.”
<Jo> “Oh like he doesn’t know that already. And honestly, it wouldnt be far fetched that I would come up with a stupid idea like that and not know what I was writing.”
<Anna> ……………………. “There isn’t enough alcohol for this conversation in the world or your lack of logic.”
<Jo> (“He’s too big” *dies* Oh Alona)
<Anna> lol
<Jo> “Sure sure, maybe I just have a deathwish this time around. You know all about those.”
<Jo> (drat now shes being pissy)
<Anna> (oh this isn’t going to be good.)
<Jo> (nope. bad places fast. drat)
<Anna> “My death makes sense. I created most of this mess and it serves a purpose. You, wanting to die is an excuse because you can’t handle living again. You want a cowards way out diguised as a noble purpose.”
<Jo> “You say you created most of it, if we backtrack a bit who put any of us on Crowley’s radar at all? Who went and pissed all over his little game? Who honestly has the most responsibility here? And haven’t you heard, that’s what I do. I do something stupid and I get my ass killed. Maybe I don’t like what the world is, but is it so bad to want a death that does something - even if its not this one?”
<Anna> “You sound like a child whining. You treat like like a broken toy, instead of dealing with teh fact it isn’t what you thought or wanted, you finish breaking it to the point it’s worthless and has to be thrown away and then you whine and throw a tantrum about it.”
<Jo> “Oh yes, because I’m exactly like that. You’ve got me all figured out Anna, how right you are. Just like always.”
<Anna> *Anna just stares at her not arguing anymore*
<Jo> “…. At least if I died someone other than a monster would actually /care/ rather than just be put out and lose a source of information.”   (I apologise. So much. I think Anna hit a little close to home with the 'cowards way out’ comment)
<Anna> *Anna smirks* “See I was right, there is more to loose by your death over mine.”
<Jo> “There are more /feelings/ to be hurt. It’s different to loosing someone who can be useful and more good in the long run staying alive.” *Jo scowls slightly back*
<Anna> “Sorry Jo, you just validated your own life over mine, which I had been saying all along. I’ll be the one to test the traps.” *Anna picks up her notebook leaving*
#3 - When Gray and Anna split up the first time, this is how Anna disclosed that to Jo... Grey will hate this (and also some infantilizing comments at end about Jo/Grey’s relationship making Jo a child)
<Anna> we should let them talk..so Jo knows and she can rub it in Gray’s face
<Anna> >_>
<Jo> <_< We should. I dont think Jo would care about a punch in the face or two for an endless amount of gloating
<Anna> lololol
<Anna> *Anna sits in the library with a notepad and the laptop, flipping through different webpages, writing things down*
<Jo> *Jo was meaning to come by and do some more research, since it was getting hard to focus about the housr again, when she sees Anna behind the lines in the library used to it being open again now* “Hey, learn to keep your boyfriend under more control in future, Anna. He’s running crazy at the moment.”
<Anna> *Anna ignores Jo, flipping through more pages.*
<Jo> *Raising an eyebrow, Jo moves around Anna’s chair towards the closet* “Seriously though, he’s a little out of control, though he said something interesting about you last time.”
<Anna> “Can’t imagine what is interesting about me.” *Anna says dryly, glancing up at Jo as she goes to the closet*
<Jo> “More that he said you wouldn’t care if we were knocking boots again. Which honestly was a hilarious suggestion, that you wouldn’t care or that that’d happen again at all.” *Jo lets out a small laugh, flinching at Anna’s tone and trying to avoid looking at her* “Why would he say somethig like that, Anna?”
<Anna> “He’s welcome to fuck whoever he wants, it’s not my business.” *closing the websites she closes her notebook and she shrugs at Jo. “I told him to get out so it’s not surprising that he’s already looking to chase tail again.”
<Jo> “Not your… You…” *Jo bites down on her lips tightly to avoid laughing aloud before moving out of the closet with a few books* “So, what did you throw him out for this time? His /good/ness disappearing?”
<Anna> *Anna looks at Jo, clearly not amused by her jabs.* “It’s not one your business either.” *Standing up she walks around the table with notebook in hand.
<Jo> “In case I missed something, we’re still at least friends, so I think getting to know personal information is sort of my business.” *Jo frowns, watching her move about both curious and cautious, before just going on* “So what was it? Did he screw someone? Give into Crowley? Eat Harry? Not screw you enough?”
<Anna> *Anna walks up to Jo, she still hadn’t bothered picking up the crutch where Gray tossed it and she tilts her head for a moment before drawing back and sucker punching Jo in the mouth.* “There we aren’t friends anymore and you don’t have any privilges to my life.”
<Jo> *Jo just blinks curiously when Anna approaches, getting caught off guard at the fist to her face, dropping the books as she turns around to clutch at her mouth. Turning back around after a moment, she glares around her hand at Anna, voice muffled from both pain and her hand* “Whut the fuck!”
<Anna> *Anna turns leaving the library going towards the bedroom*
<Jo> *Picking up her books and setting them down, Jo rubs at her face a few more minutes before following after Anna when she’s sure she’s not bleeding any more* “Okay seriously, what the fuck is your issue? What did that jackass do this time?”
<Anna> “It’s none of your business, you want to know go ask him. You guys can use it for pillow talk.”
<Jo> “Not going to happen, like, ever. I’d rather not speak to him until he’s over whatever he’s doing as it is, so you’re point of call. Did he fuck up and show just how bad he’s always been, Anna?”
<Anna> “Do you want me to punch you again? I’m not talking about it. In fact by this time tomorrow you  can have this place back.”
<Jo> “I’d be expecting it this time.  Why the hell not, and I’m quite happy where I am, you won the house in the divorce.”
<Anna> “Well I’m leaving it. Found a  place across town. I’ll be out of hunting, out of everyone hair and you can all go about your lives without worrying about me.”
<Jo> “I’m amazed youre not just hopping on a bus again and taking off. But what the hell did he do that got you this pissed, Anna? Why dont you just put the pain and chains back up?”
<Anna> “They are up but it’s not just him I’m getting away from.”
<Jo> “So I’m guessing I’m in that equation of getting away frm too then..”
<Anna> “you think?”
<Jo> *Jo raises an eyebrow in response, looking about the place quickly and not noticing anything out of place* “Anna, if you want me to leave you alone, I will. You dont have to leave to do that.”
<Anna> “I’m leaving because I want to.” *Anna rolls her eyes, why the hell would she want to stay here, in a place she’s had to failed relationships at*
<Jo> “…Right. And why exactly?” *Jo keeps prodding, trying to find the answer to what had happened*
<Anna> “Because I want too.” *Anna just looks at Jo like’s stupid or deaf one.
<Anna> *
<Jo> “Uh huh. Nothing to do with why Gray is seemingly back to his old dickish ways then?”
<Anna> “Nothing to do with him at all. I’m not doing anyone anygood here so I’m leaving.”
<Jo> “Of course not. ….Youre just running away from your problems again, aren’t you? Every time someone upsets you or shocks you or you think you’re hard done by you run off, Anna. At least when they’re someone you care about you do. So what’d the asshole do this time?”
<Anna> “Jo. Drop it. I’m not running, I’m moving. The stairs hurt to go up and down. If I was running away I wouldn’t have told you that I found a place across town.” *Anna rolls her eyes again at Jo.*
<Jo> “I don’t think I will, you said I’m not your friend any more so I don’t have to be nice and let you off the hook with an eye roll or bat of your eyelashes. And if thats all it was you wouldnt have said you were avoiding others than Gray too.”
<Anna> “Whatever Jo” *Anna moves into her bedroom trying to shut the door in Jo’s face. Grabbing what clothes she has and she starts packing them into a bag.*
<Jo> *Glaring at the shut door, Jo kicks out a foot at the bottom of it before turning around and going back to the library, mentally giving it two weeks*
<Anna> *Anna waits till Jo is gone before leaving a note for Harry and calling a cab. She had made all the arrangements online and she just had to go pick up a key*
<Jo> *pets Anna
<Jo> *
<Anna> lol she’s telling you and everyone else who keeps doing that to piss off
<Jo> Loool    it gets such a fun reaction though
<Anna> lol
<Anna> Jo happy and gloating?
<Jo> More confused and just going “Fiine. She wants to fuck up /every/ one of her relationships, thats fine by me”
<Anna> lol
<Anna> now Grey can go kiss her booboo
<Jo> I think Grey’s been doing quite enough kissing recently
<Anna> lol
<Anna> Jo can go happily back to Grey and tell him all about it
<Jo> Oh lord, dont tell her that
<Anna> lol
<Jo> I think she’s mostly pissed Anna wouldnt tell her more than the punch
#4 - Not 100% sure the start of the context of this one as I have it saved under title of ‘crowley - new’ so who the heck knows lol
<Jo> *While Jo knew Anna was trying to avoid everyone, it was just part of her nature to need to know where everyone was staying. If nothing else to know Anna was in a safe place. So stealing the address from a note to Harry and Lily, she pulls up infront of Annas new place, not sure if she was in or not and figuring that trying to break in would just be rude - instead knocking on the door and waiting*
<Anna> *Anna made her way back to the apartment and she had been laying there on the bed for about an hour when she heard the door and she groaned. Whatever Crowley had done was making her leg throb and she didnt want to deal with Gray, though she didn’t think he would be knocking. Getting up she walks carefully over to the door opening it. The iron would keep anyone else from getting in.* “What?”
<Jo> “I thought you might appreciate my not just barging in, seems not.” *Jo peers past Anna trying to see into the apartment before looking back at her tired face* “Just wanted to see where you are, make sure things were… safe.”
<Anna> *Anna looks somewhat relieved when she see’s it’s just Jo and she gives a lil laugh when Jo says she wants to see if she’s safe. Turning around she leaves the door open and goes back to the bed. The apartment is more a flat, everything in one big room with a bathroom off to the side.* “Yea, safe. You aren’t the first guest I’ve had. Crowley came by already.”
<Jo> *Surprised to be allowed in, Jo heads inside as well looking at Anna worriedly when she says Crowley’s already visited as she shuts the door* “Guess that explains a bit of the smell. I guess that means ‘as safe as can be’ then?”
<Anna> *Anna shrugs leaning back on the headboard on the bed* “It wasn’t bad considering, he only took me back to the apartment, wanted to see Gray’s reaction and you know, made sure I knew how much I fail repeating the mistakes of the past.”
<Jo> “Welcome to the club then” *Moving to lean against the opposite wall, Jo frowns slightly at her comment* “How’d you get back here? The dickhead didn’t show up did he?”
<Anna> “No, called a cab again.” *Anna laughs some, she’s drained and hit that numb point that she doesn’t see how anything can get worse.* “I do think I eneded up selling myself to Crowley.”
<Jo> “You did /what/?!”
<Anna> *Anna shrugs rubbing her hand over the cast* “Crowley kept saying I was a pet, but now that I’ve isolated myself and no one cares what happens, I’m no longer leverage. Not good for much of anything.” *Anna glances up at Jo and she leans back* “I asked what I had to do to get him to leave people alone, and he said I wasn’t worth that much, so I named you and Ellen and he said I was only worth one
<Anna> person. I named Ellen, so she’s off his radar.”
<Jo> *Jo visibly sags with relief at Anna saying Ellen was off the hit list, though she looks almost furious at the comment about Anna not being cared for or good for anything* “Just cause we’re not together doesn’t mean youre not my friend. Or doesn’t anyone realise that? Thanks for.. well, Mom though. What do you have to do though? What do you mean selling? You’re not going to fuck him are you?!”
<Anna> “It’s better though if he thinks I am.” *Anna runs a hand through her hair and she shrugs again at Jo’s question.* “It was pretty open ended, I think right now it’s amusing him about the fact Gray and I aren’t together. He thinks Gray will apologize since he’s done things for me that goes against his nature.” *Blinking Anna just laughs bitterly* “Nice to know he can be wrong still.”
<Jo> “True..” *Jo frowns, rubbing at the back of her neck before moving across to sit on the end of the bed, pushing her hair back from her face with a sigh* “So, he’s just got you to agree to some ambiguous agreement and sitting about waiting for the monster to come back grovelling?”
<Anna> “Gray won’t come back, except to  maybe take it out of my hide.” *Anna slides down further on the bed running a hand over her face* “I don’t know what Crowley will come back and want, does it matter though? It’s all right, everything Gray said, Crowley said. I’m helping this way at least. Got Ellen out of that mess Grey did, Crowley didn’t know you had told me about that.”
<Jo> “I doubt that, Anna. I might actually be with Crowley on that one - eventually he’ll crawl back. I always did.” *Jo watches Anna shift about, carefully moving to the side to give her cast more space* “It does matter, Anna, even if you try to say it doesnt. And.. …thank you for that. For fixing that..”
<Anna> “I did it so you could kill him without worrying. And he won’t, we both are too prideful. I’m okay if it ends like this, like Crowley said, it’s taken away something he was holding over people.”
<Jo> “Well thanks for that then, it is kind of nice to stop worrying about that. Gray isn’t /you/ Anna, he’s more like me than he ever has been you and he’ll figure it out that he’s fucked things up and wants you back. But I doubt its going to 'end’ at all Anna, and I dont think you’re going to be okay with whatever happens..”
<Anna> “I fucked up more than Gray. I fucked up with you. It’s like Crowley said, I keep making the same mistakes over and over again and I never learn.” *Blinking Anna takes a deep breath and she give a little laugh* “Whatever happens doesn’t matter, if I’m a good distraction then it’s still good for something”
<Jo> “Well if thats the case why arent you the one willing to apologise rather than running off?  Youre still good for other things, Anna, its just Crowley being a douche that says youre not
<Jo> ”*
<Anna> “Because he’s right.”
<Jo> “No, he’s not”
<Anna> “If I did apologize, I’d be leverage again. Gray before said Crowley came to visit last time I was in teh hospital, said that Gray was willing to give up being a monster and act out life as a human for me. I can’t put him in that position again. This is better.”
<Jo> “Whose this better for? Really?” *Rolling her eyes, Jo runs her hand through her hair before looking back at Anna seriously* “Youre not really achieving what you should running off like this, selling out and what not. And you know it.”
<Anna> *Anna smiles weakly at Jo* “So I’m failing, big surprise”
<Jo> “Yeah actually. You might suck at some stuff, but when you put your mind to something you don’t tend to fuck it up. Not enough that its not surprising”
<Anna> “What’s done is done. Gray is gone, Ellen is out of Crowley’s sites and everything else is okay.”
<Jo> “Except for how you’re going to end up where Grey was last year, am I right?” *Jo sneers slightly, turning to look away from the other woman as she runs it over in her mind*
<Anna> “No, I don’t know how to say I’m sorry.” *Anna shakes her head, she’s not like Grey at all. “Grey rolled over because he doesn’t want to die, I’m doing what Crowley wants so people can kill him.”
<Jo> “And you thought I was the one who couldn’t apologise for mistakes.” *Jo mutters quietly before looking abck at Anna with a raised eyebrow* “Potato potahto. Either way you’re going to end up at the same spot. And really the only reason you /want/ to die is for the same reason he doesn’t - he doesn’t want to go back to where everything is even worse than here, and you don’t want to be responsible
<Jo> for everything getting worse here.”
<Anna> “It’s a tactical advantage.”
<Jo> *Jo was seething by now, the complacant response and attitude towards this pissing her off* “Of course. Because all battles were won thanks to the whores with the intel. If he happens to tell you which of his heels is his weakspot mid orgasm, you let me know.”
<Anna> *Anna doesn’t say anything, she wipes her face and she nods.*
<Jo> “You know what..” *Scowling, Jo stands up and starts pacing beside Anna’s bed, looking down at her occasionally* “If that was me telling you I  had agreed to do some unknown thing Crowley asked me to do, you’d have called me a slut, said I was a moron and was worth more than that and basically torn me apart over it. Just like you always have. Yet you’re unwilling to see you have more potential
<Jo> than what some cocky asshole of a demon and two monsters you’ve been pushing the buttons of for months are telling you. You’re better than this shit Anna, so just get over yourself and realise it!”
<Anna> “I have realized it. There’s an uncomfortable truth to everything they say. What potential do I have? I’m not an angel, I don’t have any grace at all, I don’t even hear them anymore. I’m useless as a human and all do is piss people off but not enough. You have always been what I wanted to be as a human, I yelled because you are so much more than any of us..”
<Jo> “Only because they twist it that way! Demons lie, and both of those two twist the truth how they want it if someone’s hurt them enough. Who is the resident expert on them here, because it sure as hell ain’t you. Big fucking whoop if you’re not an angel anymore, that’s what you’ve wanted - and you’re only useless if you let yourself be. God fucking dammit, Anna, you can’t just try once and give up!
<Jo> I never did, and do you see me really rolling over for anyone? Actually, truly rolling over? I dont give up, and I’m ashamed of you if you do.” *Jo snaps back, basically tuggin at her hair as she talks, voice dropping as she finishes*
<Anna> “Once? I fell, twice. I died trying to stop the apocalypse. I am not rolling over. I am accepting that I fuck everything up and if fucking Crowley buys you the time you need to kill him, well then it’s not rolling over is it.”
<Jo> “You and me both, and do you see me giving it up again? You are rolling over, Anna. Your saying youre useless otherwise and saying you accept that bullshit is rolling over. You are a fucking /human/, and you are worth just as much as anyone else - regardless of if you screw up or not. You don’t see me doing everything right, or don’t you remember those months of you saying that exactly to me?”
<Anna> “Maybe I was wrong.” *Anna runs her hand through her hair and she watches Jo pace in anger.* “Maybe I am human and if I am that means I’m just as dispensable as the rest of the human race. What’s one life compared to everyone else. Or maybe this is karma for what I did as an angel.”
<Jo> “Dispensable yes, but just as important as well. You always run your mouth about my being important, well guess what Anna - so are you too. So yeah, maybe one versus a lot, but you wouldn’t have stood by and watched me sell myself to that asshole in exchange for other people would you?!”
<Anna> “No but that’s because I’m always right and you never listen.” *Anna tries to joke.*
<Jo> “And yet you’re going to stand by and let you do that to yourself?” *Jo shoots her a disapproving look at the joke, even if one side of her mouth quirks up slightly, shaking her head*
<Anna> “Fucking Crowley would probably be the least destructive thing I’ve ever done to myself.” *She looks down at her leg and shrugs.*
<Jo> “I can’t help but disagree. I know what that creep does to people, maybe not physically but the psychological shit is not something you can just shrug your shoulder about, Anna. Especially not you.”
<Anna> “I’ve already got a good shrink to deal with the psychological stuff and a bed reserved at the hospitals.” *Anna jokes again when Jo says especially not her.*
<Jo> *Jo gives Anna a brief look before whirling and kicking at the closest leg of Anna’s very small table, blinking stunnedly when the leg folds in under itself and she’s not quite sure she feels any less angry* “Fine, /fine/. You want to make this all a joke and go through with it, then /fine/, but I’m going to figure out some way to stop whatever you’re thinking from happening, Anna.”
<Anna> *Anna cringes as jo breaks the only table she has and she shakes her head looking at Jo.* “No you won’t. Stopping it would put Ellen back on table of people Crowley can go after. You aren’t going to do that.” *Taking a breath she swallows.* “I’m not giving up but what have I got to lose? You just broke the only othe thing in this apartment besides the bed.”
<Jo> “I’m going to, Anna. Even if it means trapping and gutting that sick son of a bitch in the middle of Antarctica underneath a full moon.” *The comment and look Anna gives her at the table makes Jo let out a shallow breathe, looking apologetically at her* “Sorry about that, I’ll find you a replacement, okay?”
<Anna> “It’s fine. Probably would have never used it.” *Anna looks at Jo and she smiles a bit.* “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine, without Gray here to flush the pills, I’m sure I have a script of one that will take care of anything I’ll feel about doing this.”
<Jo> *Fisting her hands at her sides, Jo shakes her head with a sharp jerk* “You really don’t get this do you..”
<Anna> “I get it. I’ve just stopped caring at this point.” *Anna looks at Jo’s hands and she sits up swinging her legs over the bed.“Free shot for the punch from yesterday.”
<Jo> “Not gonna happen.” *Jo gives Anna a disapproving look, crossing her arms under her chest even though her hands stay balled* “You’ve stopped caring, sure. But you know thats only going to last so long. And when Crowley isn’t powerful any ore everything youve done is going to be for nothing and you’re going to hate yourself more deeply than anyone ever has.”
<Anna> “You assume that I don’t already.” *Anna sighs and she lays back closing her eyes.* “Thanks Jo for coming by.”
<Jo> “You really shouldn’t though..” *Jo runs a hand through her hair gently, looking at Anna with concern before nodding* “Okay, okay. I’ll… If you want I’ll come by again sometime soon.”
<Anna> “Probably not a good idea, never know when Crowley will be here.”
<Jo> *Sighing, Jo nods* “Okay, I get it. I’ll see you sometime, Anna…”
<Anna> *Anna just waves as she crawl into the middle of the bed, closing her eyes to go to sleep*
<Jo> *Heading out the door, Jo wants nothing more than to slam it behind her, but fights down the urge, heading back home again*
<Anna> Jo’s going to kill Anna herself isn’t she
<Jo> Ooooh she wants to
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midnight-circus · 6 years ago
Text
another bullshit meme
from sidebloggable
answered for logan and lucius bc i dont talk about my big dumb idiot enough
and im actually gonna answer for their original Fable timeline bc ive been feelin nostalgic recently
Their physical weak spots
Logan - depends on his age and/or stress-levels. He has a fair amount of upper body strength from swinging twin swords around all the fucking time, but it wouldn’t be ridiculously hard to overpower him if you could disarm and get hold of him - however, he’s fast, agile and extremely skilled, and it’s getting hold of him in the first place that’s the issue. In the middle of his reign, on the other hand, his body condition takes a dramatic dive - he’s pretty severely underweight and loses a lot of his muscle tone, and it really wouldn’t take much at all to best him. 
Lucius - Lucius is a big, heavy mercenary who fights with a broadsword, so it’s hard to get the best of him in a one-to-one melee fight. However, he’s missing his left eye and is deaf in his left ear - subsequently if you use a little bit of stealth and come at him hard and fast from the left, you’ve got a pretty good chance of getting the jump on him. He’s also into middle-age and despite having decent reactions, a younger man of the same build as him might just pip him to the post.
Their emotional/moral weak spots
Logan - oh god lmao. Logan’s a mess, but his primary emotional weak spot is his siblings - be they his original two (hey queenie and dorian) or Morgan. I think he feels a bond that’s closer to paternal than fraternal, and I think the only way he can really justify to himself the pain he puts them through is telling himself he’s doing it for them. ok honestly, he will do fucking anything for them. at the climax of the revolution, the primary thought running through his head is how fucking proud he is. be nice if he said it out loud every once a while - hell, itd be nice if he’d just asked for some fuckin help before causing the literal death of hundreds of people - but yknow. thats just going one step too far i guess
Lucius - he’s a bleeding heart. when Morgan and his little band of rebels rock up in the Dweller village, Lucius is already there running supplies up and down the mountain to them; he watches way too many kids starve to death, and joins up with the rebels in order to lead them through Mourningwood. then he gets a crush on morgan’s little bitch face and just like. never leaves lmao. He’s easily blinded by injustice and gets worked up really quickly when he sees wrong being done - it can lead him to act recklessly or thoughtlessly at times.
Scars or painful spots
Logan - asides from the obvious scars across his lips (fencing wounds when he was a boy), he took some nasty damage from the Crawler during the three days he was trapped in the Auroran cave - he’s got a network of scars on his back that look a little like lashmarks. they hurt when they’re touched and he Does Not talk about them. he’s also got a few other scars here and there on his arms and chest from miscellaneous scraps and scuffles, and he has a deep puncture scar on his abdomen from an assassination attempt, but the less said about those the better.
Lucius - lmao Lucius is literally missing half his face to scar-tissue. he was attacked by a dog as a boy and it left him heavily messed-up. he’s also a merc, as i said, so he’s got a lot of miscellaneous old wounds but nothing quite as obvious as the ones his face. 
Best places to kiss on their body
Logan - oh, the neck, bitch. he’s also kind of a slut for being kissed on the insides of his wrists; anywhere vulnerable, basically. if you could kill him there, kiss him there. freak-ass bitch.
Lucius - dude just likes a nice traditional french kiss man nothing crazy. but also definitely give him a blowjob. i know this question said kissing but lets be real thats kind of a kiss.
Guilty pleasures
Logan - he reads really terrible novels. like…really terrible. he pretends he’s reading something highbrow and intellectual but its actually a shitty romance recovered with something suitably acceptable and nobody can know
Lucius - he doesnt have any ‘guilty’ pleasures tbh, he just enjoys stuff unashamedly. he’s too thick to feel guilty
Their vices (physical or emotional)
Logan - lets be real, he’s probably done, like. an impressive amount of coke. i guess the terrible sleeping and eating habits are probably also a vice but like. it’s mainly the coke
Lucius - he smokes like a fuckin chimney
Their tickle spots
Logan - not only does he not have any, but you would also die for trying. Elrick disagrees.
Lucius - his ribs, but he is uncontrollably violent when he’s tickled so its a real good way to get a broken nose. he doesn’t mean to do it, he just spasms. 
Bad memories/experiences
Logan - lmao. I’ll skip the most obvious (the 3-Day Auroran Extravaganza) because i think that goes without saying - it left him with crippling PTSD and damaged his mind heavily and insidiously. he was already pretty traumatised by his childhood and i think being forced into so many responsibilities so young also messed him up a little. it’s more like….rather one one or two specific experiences, its more just a general feeling of Bad that has stuck with him throughout his life. It was worsened by his later experiences, and essentially primed him for failure.
Lucius - yknow i was thinking about how to word the answer to this question and i realised that i accidentally made Lucius into Batman. His family farm was attacked and burnt to the ground by bandits when he was about 12; his parents and siblings were killed, and he only escaped by hiding in the coal-cellar. Later, he joined up with the mercenaries to try and track down the group that targeted them. fuck hes batman. i didnt mean to batman
Humiliating memories
Logan - oh man his father was a pro at humiliation. mistakes or oversights werent just punished, they were fuckin learned from, and he figured the best way to do this was humiliation - generally through public displays of What You Did Wrong and repeated recitations of the mistake in front of the people whose opinions Logan valued. It was kind of the catalyst for his inferiority complex and intense desire to succeed without input from others. 
Lucius - again, Lucius doesn’t really experience embarrassment - he’s kind of too laid-back for it. yes, it was embarrassing the one time he fell over carrying two milk buckets and threw them all over himself in front of the handsome boy from the next farm over and the guy started laughing at him but like. you live and learn and the dude turned out to have a really ugly laugh anyway so who cares
Fears/phobias
Logan - he’s always had claustrophobia, but after the Auroran Experience this intensifies to a whole new level, and he also develops crippling nyctophobia. part of this is due to his hallucinatory psychosis - he sees things pretty much constantly, but it worsens in low lighting - but it’s also due to the fact that there may very well be actual Things in the dark and he struggles to tell reality from hallucination
Lucius - dogs. fuckin dogs. he hates dogs theyre literally so scary even the small ones bc the small ones move so quick and you never know when theyre gonna come at you
Bad or petty habits
Logan - oh, he’s just a petty bitch. he’s also outwardly arrogant, even if his internal feelings don’t match up to that. drily sarcastic, too, tho a person only really sees that when they get past the walls he throws up - Elrick is very familiar with it. 
Lucius - he’s constantly standing to the right-hand side of people and then he wonders why he cant hear them properly
Grudges and vendettas
Logan - he’d hold a grudge against his father if he wasnt dead. he also holds a pretty heavy grudge against Theresa for not just fucking telling him.
Lucius - at first, only against the bandits that killed his family, but once he deals with them hes kind of at a loss as to where to go next. fortunately Logan starts starving people shortly afterwards, so if nothing else it gives him a kickstart into the rest of his life. Subsequently, Lucius will hold a vendetta against Logan for the rest of his life, even after he has been in a relationship with Morgan for years - he will never forgive him for the shit he put the common people through, and he doesnt really give a shit about the ~pressures~ Logan was under at the time. fuckin excuses, man. 
Ingrained habits/forces of habit
Logan - his terrible sleeping/eating patterns. even before trauma and night-terrors made it almost impossible for him to sleep peacefully, he didn’t get more than 5 or 6 hours a night, if that.
Lucius - if something is smaller than him, he’ll protect it. he’ll also protect things bigger than him, if given half the chance. hes basically a golden retriever in human form, which is ironic considering his feelings about dogs.
What it takes to make them cry
Logan - would rather die than cry, quite literally.
Lucius - his heart is softer than butter, he’ll cry at anything. he’ll cry at an injured pigeon on the street. 
Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’
Logan - never, ever, ever talks about what happened in Aurora. The details die with him.
Lucius - he doesn’t really have any - he’s not ashamed of much in his life, and he’s never done anything terrible enough to render it a skeleton. 
People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them
Logan - L M A O. yes, it affected him terribly, but tbqh however much its affected him kind of plays second fiddle to how much his actions affected other people.
Lucius - has killed a lot of people who deserved it during his mercenary years, and justifies it to himself by being absolutely certain that they did deserve it. sometimes he doubts this, though, and that doubt plays a big part in his eventually getting out of the game entirely
People who’ve influenced them greatly
Logan - Walter, tho he’ll never admit it in a million years and he still definitely kneecapped him right at the start of the game so idk what that says about him
Lucius - Morgan. it’s real gay, i know, but there it is.
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