#i didnt actually count but it was a lot
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1o1percentmilk · 2 years ago
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HELLO.... I JUST GOT AN ASK CALLING ME THE N WORD 200 SOMETHING TIMES.........
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united-under-skyfall · 2 years ago
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leverage is so fucking funny. man manages to find the most mentally ill and neurodivergent group of thieves on the market + an even more mentally ill guy whose literal job description was trying to chase all of them, and forces them into a found family speed-run by trying to blow them all up. they lowkey stage a full fucking country wide coup and are like eh 🤷 just another wednesday. this might be a fun place to vacation tho i guess. sophie shows up to her own funeral twice. they're so good at convincing people of their shit that they make a guy's body start reacting to an illness he doesn't have because it isn't real. go completely out on a limb and basically hand this one guy a new password for his computer so they can get into it and he goes with it. parker and hardison have straight up just "fake it 'till you make it"d into the fbi without even attempting to cover their tracks beyond just These Two Guys. half their clients never asked to be their clients and don't know they're their clients, and the other half are random people who find them who fuckin knows how, meanwhile no government agency can track them down without selling their soul to sterling. they make a point to have a dramatic scene w a Big Bad Shadowy Government Guy who doesn't actually get caught or brought to justice or anything telling them he's going to hunt them all down, and in any other show this would probably earn at least a minor arc later on but he literally never shows up again. an entire season finale hinged on a cake and a bunch of clams. they accidentally made eliot a celebrity not once, not twice, but three times. parker blew up her foster parents' house when she was like. nine. and it's hardly a footnote. hardison is just casually an artistic prodigy but it's only ever brought up for the most background of background gags. eliot's biggest beef with parker and hardison for like two and a half seasons is that they won't stop making weird food with lasers and refuse to realize they can't make a decent beer to save their lives. sophie's immediate response to being shot is to call her shooter a wanker. there's a character who has literally killed a man with a mop and they had the audacity to only put her in one episode.
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umblrspectrum · 14 days ago
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another failed sneaking attempt
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bucephaly · 1 year ago
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It's kinda shocking to me how few people seem to know how prevalent the 'my great grandmother was cherokee' myth is and how it's almost never actually true, especially when it comes with things like 'never signed up' or 'fell off the trail' or 'courthouse burned down destorying the documentation' etc etc.
People just don't even seem to know the history like.. when the Trail happened. My great great great grandfather was 2 years old during Removal in 1838, so peoples 'my great grandmother hid in the mountains!' is so clearly wrong. And we have rolls. From before and after removal, rolls done by cherokee nation and others by the government, rolls that were not stored in one random flammable courthouse. It's not difficult to find the actual evidence of ancestry.
And just.. there are lots of ways those family stories get started. It was a practice during the confederacy to claim cherokee ancestry to show one's family had 'deep roots in the south' that they were there before the cherokee were removed. Many people pretended to be cherokee and applied for the Guion-Miller payout just to try to steal money meant for cherokees - 2/3rds of the applicants were denied for having 0 proof of actual cherokee ancestry. [We even see lawyers advertising signing up for the Miller roll just to try to get free money.] And the myth even started in some families in the cherokee land lotteries, where the land stolen from us was raffled off, including the house and everything that was left behind when the cherokees were removed. We have seen people whose families just take these things stolen from the cherokee family and adopt them into their own family story, saying that they were cherokee themselves.
If you had some family story about being cherokee and you wanna have proof one way or the other, check out this Facebook group run by expert cherokee genealogists that do research for free. Just please read the rules fully and respect the researchers. They run thousands of people's ancestries a year and their average is only around 0.7% of lines they run actually end up having true cherokee ancestry.
#and ive heard even dumber origins of the cherokee family myth#such as an ancestor having a silly sounding name so the descendents just go 'oh she mustve been an indian!!!'#i was one of the few people who had my ancestry done on the facebook and had genuine cherokee ancestry#[though i had found it before it was just really validating to get it double checked and i started finding cousins (:]#like. i was told once when i was a kid by my grandma that my dad had cherokee ancestry and i didnt believe her. its wild that so many peopl#will make it a Fixture of their identity [or even just smth they bring up ever] with Zero proof#at least for cherokees from what ive seen its usually considered really disrespectful to claim to have cherokee ancestry without#actually having the documentation [like ancestors on the rolls]#and no a dna test doesnt count. nor does 'my dad is Clearly not white!' or 'high cheekbones' or old family photos or anything#i had this discussion with someone recently whose dad had been calling himself 3/4 native but didnt know exactly what nation ???? hello?#and its like... sorry but ur dad is like. italian lol.#[and blood quantum is bullshit anyway im tired of the 'im 1/16 cherokee' comments its dumb#cherokee nation does not have a blood quantum requirement. its pointless bringing it up in the discussion of who is or isnt cherokee]#also mandatory disclaimer that im reconnecting. i didnt grow up connected to the culture of even knowing my ancestry#this is all from my looking into this stuff over the past year or so. i cant claim to be an authority over anything regarding this#this is p much all my repeating things ive heard said by people who know a lot more than i do haha#man. and this isnt even starting to get into the fake tribe stuff. the only legit cherokee groups are the 3 federally recognized bands#cherokee nation of oklahoma. united keetoowah band. and the eastern band of cherokee indians.#any others that are state recognized or not at all arent acknowledged as legitimate by any of the legit cherokee groups#anyway. my final message goodb.ye#cherokee#tsalagi
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al-luviec · 3 months ago
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compiled whatever this is (and I run out of tag space)
meh HoT gifs (3/?)
#alek gifs#ninjago#ninjago krux#ninjago acronix#hands of time#time twins#alternate title to this series is : stuff i noticed after watching this season 10 whole times#okay actually thats a lie. i realized this the 3rd time around#i think of acronix and how he barely makes any decisions for himself and i go crazy#ppl equate that with him feeling forced to do stuff.. uh hes always been a follower guys!!#cue him calling wu “master wu” even after the twins betrayal. him liking machia bc shes “mean” and bossy#he has no issue with following orders lol. prepare for a long acronix rant one day#contexts -> gif 1 barely counts i just wanted to include him looking at krux. he does this a lot during that fight#gif 2 is before they kill blunck and raggmunk (idk how to spell their names still ... sorry)#gif 3 is before they were going to kill wu in the golden hour legacy short. which is canon !!#gif 4 is before they sent themselves into the temporal vortex#that one post that was like “are we still doing revenge? yeah? cool” bc thats basically acronix#there is something fundamentally wrong with these two's brains but idk how to describe it#krux who literally lost his mind after losing his brother to the point he adopted an entire identity#“he just needed to go undercover!!” counter point as soon as acronix came back he was unable to pretend to be saunders. he acted super weird#like when kai was in the museum he couldnt pretend to be this person he wasnt. acronix was back !!! so was he. krux was 100% going to kill#the smith sibs if maya and ray didnt comply. also.. canonly they knew him when they worked as teachers back in s3. he watched them grow up#and pretended all was well meanwhile their parents were being forced to work and slave away to build the iron doom. he is not normal#then you have acronix who thrives off of violence and is described as throwing himself into battle like a blunt object. has no regard#for himself as a person and just takes (almost) everything his brother says as gospel. s7 couldve done smthn really cool with how#the only thing the twins ever really disagreed on was technology. also ive went on a semirant about how krux's hatred for tech was misplaced#hatred for losing acronix. wanted to travel to the pre modern era? okay well whyd he pick 40 years ago specifically. also NOTE that they#went back after their past selves had lost. they wouldve faired better if they went and helped their past selves. also the reversal blade#had already fallen so when the twins went back in time there was two kruxes. he literally went back to when he had been all alone for the#for the first time. he went back to when his life was ruined and his brother was gone!! but he had nix with him this time . ughdhf
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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago
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finding out ur coworker is way older than you thought and having to very quickly reorient how you talk to them
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#synthv#synthesizer v#genbu#kasane teto#rikka is also here :) i think she likes to cause problems sometimes. because all the adults in her life are dweebs#and very easy to cause problems with <3#anyone else have this happen before. im older than a lot of my university peers and i always have been#because i took 5 years in highschool and my undergrad has been like 6 years and counting#(hashtag learning disability <3 ) and like thats chill to me i dont mind#but now i usually assume everyones way younger than me and i get shocked when theyre not. a buddy in some of my classes#when i first met her i absolutely and completely assumed she was like barely 19 and talked to her as such#like i dont talk down to people or anything but i do soften the way i talk a bit and give a bit extra patience with younger peers#cause yknow. i remember what it was like being 19. being 26 is WAY easier lol so i wanna give em a bit of leeway yknow#anyway a few months after meeting her i found out she was actually a year older than me and a grad student when she ended up as a TA in#another class i took. i felt so bad. we bonded tho and she didnt mind she thought it was kinda funny when i was like WAIT UR A GRAD STUDENT#i thought she was like a first or second year undergrad..............#also yeah im a 31yo teto fan. i dont mind the popular fanon that she has a separate age that makes her actually 15 and#i dont mind that more interpretations have her like that BUT for my internal canon she is a grown ass woman because i think its fun <3#she pays taxes. she goes to work parties. she can rent a car. i love it#let teto rent a car. let her rent a car.#yknow im exicted to be 31. i still got a few more years of being a 20 something which is fun. but being a 30 something sounds like it rules
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tsukasalover · 5 months ago
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wxs song wishlist!1!1! dont take this too seriously
(i may elaborate on these in the future though. who knows. )
slowmotion - fullgroup. maybe js emunene though idk
ultimate senpai - tsukasa (+ could add emu and miku Im not fully sure about miku but. Please this song means everything to me We need even more pinop songs in game. because i said so)
dream eating monochrome baku - ruikasa. add on 3dmv (Or 2dmv thats fine) and MY LIFE IS YOURS!!!
jitterbug - ruikasa (this might be much less likely. i dont expect them to cover it)
popipo - full group. A 3dmv would be quite beautiful. I can already imagine the look on ruis face
chubyou gekihatsu boy - ruikasa (a 2dmv for this would be funny. i want to see tsukasa do one of the weird ass poses)
positive club vs negative club - nenekasa
ohedo julia night - emurui
this fucked up wonderful world exists for me - i can handle another full group if they cover this 🫡
iya iya iya - emurui ? i wouldnt mind full group or len & rin being in the cover too but i just Really want wxs to cover it. 
nee nee nee - ruinene (still thinking abt this one. id be fine with vs only if it gets added but idk)
death shall not have taken thee - emukasa
isnt it “a” - nenekasa (im reaching and desperate)
role-playing game - FULL GROUP PLEASE!!!! IVE WANTED THIS AND ULTIMATE SENPAI IN GAME FOREVER Im desperate…….
apple dot com - emurui 
baka tsuushin - ruinene
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oswaldthatendswald · 19 days ago
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This is not a new observation, but I think One Piece handles Doflamingo's backstory-- how it continues to affect his behavior and choices, as well as how it fits into the overall story-- exceptionally well. The villain who is evil due to a tragic past is a very well-established trope, but it is increasingly done quite poorly. Attempts to flesh out a villain and garner sympathy for them can become misguided justifications for their actions or goals, muddying the themes and tone of a story. My point isn't that morally complex characters can't be interesting when done competently and purpose; it's that when the villain with a tragic past is meant to be evil but his past becomes a justification, the writers' intended dynamics of the story are damaged.
Doflamingo's story never has that problem. His backstory makes it perfectly clear why he does the things he does, but it never implies that he is right to do them. It is a reason, not an excuse. The reader gets the sense that Doflamingo is very much the product of his childhood: first the golden excess of a Celestial Dragon, then the abrupt fall from grace into hatred and pain. It's the perfect storm to set a person down the worst paths possible.
But I think the reader might also feel (or at least I did) that this wasn't a fate set in stone. Doflamingo could have unlearned the ideology of a Noble and perhaps that the harm done to him doesn't justify further harm-- except that the only guidance he ever got was worship by Trebol and the other Executives, who were the nail in the coffin for any redemption Doflamingo might have had. Their appearance only validated and affirmed the beliefs Doflamingo already held regarding his place in the world.
Instead of ham-handed sympathy bait, Doflamingo's backstory is a beautifully executed extension of the worldbuilding and themes already present in the story. It is another tragedy in a world of tragedies, another story where children are put through hell. But without the external guidance and support the heroes get, Doflamingo takes the other path, becoming another perpetrator of tragedies, and a reminder that our heroes are the people they are as much (or more) because of the love and mentorship they had than due to innate goodness. It's the road less traveled, but they still might have traveled it.
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doobledabbadoo · 16 days ago
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Is the Mr. Men & Little Miss franchise sexist? - An informal essay by a fan
(tl;dr summary is listed at the end of this post)
A while ago, I was going through my strawpage (which you can find here) to uncover some submissions that were collecting dust over time. While most of them were about how I was doing, or silly headcanons that the Mr. Men and Little Miss characters had, I came across one that I think needed more than a silly and lighthearted response from your's truly:
"Do you think Mr Men and Little miss is Sexist?"
For those who don't know, the Mr. Men and Little Miss franchise is a British children's literature franchise that contains simple, shaped people that embody certain attributes, such as happiness, luckiness, or forgetfulness. The creator of the series is Roger Hargreaves, who created the first Mr. Men book, Mr. Tickle, in 1971. The book series is still being written today by Adam Hargreaves, Roger's son.
Meanwhile, sexism is defined by the prejudice, discrimination, or stereotyping towards a target sex, typically towards women. Because sexism is a more sensitive topic than many people realize, I will do what I can to approach this subject manner in a more sensitive and serious matter.
I will be writing this from my own perspective; as someone who's identity doesn't relate to being either male or female, and as an avid fan who is viewing the franchise from a critical lens for the sake of this essay. Keep in mind that I'm not an expert on sexism or how women should be portrayed in media, so you may take anything I say below with a grain of salt, and I highly encourage you to do your own research on the subject to form your own thoughts and opinions.
If you're looking for my answer, I honestly don't think that the Mr. Men and Little Miss series is sexist. For one, almost all of the relationships between the male characters and female characters are strictly platonic. Even in Little Miss Valentine's book, a character meant to embody a holiday all about love, includes friendship as one of its core themes. The only instance of romance I gathered from actually reading and looking into the books is between Miss Shy and Miss Quiet, and even then I'm pretty sure it's only implied, based on their interactions.
I've seen a lot of people criticize the series for some of its more negative stereotypes towards women, using more malicious characters, like Miss Naughty and Miss Trouble, or more incompetent characters, such as Miss Helpful, Miss Late, or Miss Scatterbrain. I would've agreed if it were the 1980's, where there were significantly less female characters than male characters. However, some people should consider that there's also many malicious male characters, like Mr. Mischief, Mr. Rude, and Mr. Mean, and many incompetent male characters, like Mr. Clumsy, Mr. Forgetful, and Mr. Wrong. Plus, within these past few years, we've had some more positive female characters, like Miss Brave, Miss Inventor, Miss Sparkle, Miss Hug, and Miss Fabulous, so it definitely balances out.
Although, there are a few decisions the franchise makes for its books and series that does make me raise an eyebrow. For example:
I saw another post on tumblr earlier that criticized how infantilizing "Little Miss" sounds, especially in comparison to "Mr. Men". I do agree that this isn't really the best way to label female characters in the series, as I think something such as the "Miss Madams" could've worked just as well. I don't know how much the Mr. Men and Little Miss franchise is willing to rebrand this name. They've renamed a couple of their characters in the past due to offensive terms (Miss Plump to Miss Greedy, and Mr. Uppity to Mr. Snooty), but I'm not sure if they're willing to remove the "Little" in all their female character's names any time soon. Maybe in another world, they could be branded as the "Little Misses and Little Misters" or the "Mr. Men and Miss Madams".
Miss Brainy, who's just simply tired of everyone asking her questions, has her book end with her nearly getting mauled by a lion. To be fair, neither Roger or Adams wrote this, but... What exactly did she do for a lion to appear on her walk before trying to eat her? She could've learned something like how not everyone was as well educated as her, and that she could learn to be more patient with them. At least Mr. Clever, a character known to be obnoxiously smart in his own book, learned to be humble when he couldn't answer subjective questions. The whole lion thing just felt entirely random.
Little Miss Late, at the end of her book, ends up having a more fulfilled life by cooking and staying at home with Mr. Lazy. On one hand, this does enforce some gendered stereotypes from the 1950's, where a woman is supposed to cook and stay inside for the man in the house, and if you know anything about the 50's, well... It wasn't a good decade for women, to put it simply. On the other hand, there are some women who actually don't mind cooking and cleaning for the men in their lives, and if that's what makes Miss Late happy, who am I to judge?
Just some of the treatment that the female characters get in the Mr. Men show. Because the producers of the show wanted to market it towards boys, they cut a bunch of the female characters that were in development, and they even removed a prominent female character in between seasons simply because the executives didn't like her. They've brought in more characters in season 2, more female characters than male, but they don't utilize any of them as they do the cast they had in season 1. I personally would've loved to see Miss Bossy have a shouting match with Mr. Stubborn or Mr. Rude, or even Miss Curious take Mr. Bump's role in the "How do they do it?" segments of season 2!
Even despite these gripes, I honestly don't think that the franchise itself is sexist. It had many different books, shows, music, and even a musical throughout the years, and they were all written, directed, and produced by several different people with different perspectives and biases.
If you're a woman, or fall under the transgender and nonbinary umbrella, and you've engaged in any Mr. Men media, I would also love to hear your thoughts on how the Mr. Men and Little Miss franchise treats its female characters. It's always great to listen to other people's voices who differ from yours, as it provides different perspectives into the conversation.
tl;dr: no, i do not think its a sexist series. i can see why some people would think so, but i personally dont think it is.
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thedrotter · 1 month ago
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i just randomly felt like doing a render since i havent done those frequently at all this year www and who else would it be of if not yuu
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aibouart · 7 months ago
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i drew a streamer i started watching recently who was playing LN1~
their name is obakechan !
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steeltwigz · 2 months ago
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Saw a post abt the Sonic movies that was like "plz filter negativity posts better" which is GOOD AND TRUE you should be doing that. Ok. But then they kept going to imply that the criticisms of the Sonic movies are all entirely Personal and Ignorable and not like. Usually abt the horrific copaganda, misogynistic writing, and Paramount's disgusting zionism.... Guys a lot of ppls problem w the Knuckles show wasn't JUST a bastardization of Knuckles' character or thinking Wade was annoying or whatever, but like was focused on the grotesque Zionist message from that one episode 😭😭😭 you can enjoy something and still recognize that it has intrinsic and huge glaring flaws and talk abt them. I think actually you Should be speaking up abt the misogyny, zionism and propaganda the SCU supports and discusses, ESPECIALLY if you like the movies! Its important to be able to recognize these things in media and admit that even media you personally enjoy can be deeply problematic, instead of hiding it away and pretending those HUGE FLAWS aren't issues actually....
#scu neg#sonic movie negative#do you guys even have a specific single tag? genuine question#scu negative#like bro you just had to say 'plz tag negativity posts better :(' you didnt have to go on a tangent abt how sonic wachowski is a perfect#little angel ...#and writing off criticism abt the movie as 'personal issues' is also just. Mean. undermining ppls genuine investment in the characters#shadow means a lot to me. his storyline js extremely powerful. ofc im disappointed they fucked it up. thats personal but it has real world#consequence. taking a character whos entire plotline is driven by an anti-militant message and who is a genuine and powerful representative#of PTSD in media and making him. Whatever He Is Now is Bad Actually. even if you think thats just a personal take it still has Real Effects#and i dont expect the scu to be a masterpiece of art. i take sonic seriously but i understand that im maybe an Exception and also that#perceptions of characters change between literally Everyone. but i think its still fine to say that i dont trust the writers to tell the#story they want to tell. they very clearly Dont understand what made adventure-era sonic so powerful in the first place and thats a valid#take even if it is 'just a personal opinion'#ok sorry for getting heated. as a board-certified PTSD haver shadow the hedgehog is important to me its like i imprinted on him as a child#like. i dont think its a stretch to assume that theyre probably going to make shadow Dull and Lame compared to his old storylines. gerald i#already so fucked up that i honestly have lost all hope this movie will have good writing. and i can Expect good writing becuz this project#is from a huge corporation that can Afford good talent and Chose to do their movies this way instead#and they were like 'you guys cant b mad that the character you like didnt show up!' when the criticism for THAT is that the scu is doing#EVERYTHING in its power to AVOID adding new and substantial female roles to the cast. rouge not being there is a larger issue besides just#Missing Her. we have 3 reoccurring women/girl characters. out of a cast of roughly 13 main characters. cant you see how disgusting that is.#i think its 13 anyway hang on. im counting wade tom sonic tails knuckles shadow eggman gerald those two gun guys. yeah#'but theyre adding another woman character!' yeah.... and shes another military official..... when we coulda had Rouge the Bat???#thats not the win you think it is.........#ig theres sonics owl mom too genuinely forgot abt her tbh#she exists only to b a mom and die tho so she isnt rlly That Great as a woman character either#and maddie exists only to b Sonics Mom and rachel only exists to be the Funny Aunt and jojo only exists to be The Girl Cousin so......#SORRY ESSAY SORRY i feel very passionately abt sonic!!!! especially in this case!!!!!!!#ok well ig maria is there too but shes also just. Uhm. Ok. Look. i love maria robotnik. but she is a Plot Device not a character. sorry#wades family dont count either becuz. well. they suck NO NO NO JUST KIDDING
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raspberryjellybrains · 1 year ago
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image I.D. below the cut
image description start:
[a promotional picture of Sam and Dean Winchester, Sam on the left and Dean on the right, their images from circa 2010. They both stare challengingly into the camera with their arms crossed, though Dean also holds a large blade. The background is a two lane blacktop with an older style of power line and corn on either side. At the top and bottom are flames. Sam says "im restricting", Dean says "and im bingeing" and the flaming text gif at the bottom reads "the eating disorder brothers.]
image description end.
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sonknuxadow · 1 year ago
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i think that they should stop re releasing the classic sonic games over and over again and start making the modern games that were only ever playable on one or two older consoles more accessible
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bi-lyfe2 · 19 days ago
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Once upon a time i chatted to someone on tumblr about possibly meeting up as we had a lot of kinks in common and after talking about the freaky things we'd like to do together they said 'of course I would like to pay you for your time'😵‍💫
and my mind went 'well I don't need to be paid because I am employed and a willing volunteer but! It is very hot that someone wants to pay to use my body in horrible ways' 😅
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raineandsky · 2 years ago
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#13
tw: kidnapping
(Inspired by this tweet!)
(Part 1) (Part 2)
Back when they were kids they’d made a promise – if neither of them were married by twenty-five, they’d marry each other. It was a stupid number to choose, looking back on it, but kids wouldn’t know any better, would they?
The villain’s twenty-fifth birthday is approaching, not that it matters. Seventeen years changes a lot, and the two of them have more than gone their separate ways. The hero was promptly taken in by the agency, but the villain hadn’t been so blind to the company’s innocent facade, instead turning to their own prowess to make their way in life. The promise the two had so idly made on the playground that day couldn’t be further from reality anymore.
Besides, the villain won’t need it anyway. They’d met the civilian under… less than perfect circumstances, but she’d been more than accepting of their somewhat criminal identity. It seems it was something she was looking for, if her eagerness to get involved with their schemes is anything to go by. They hope they can find a ring as bright as her as soon as they get round to robbing that bank next week.
They’ve mentioned her to the hero offhandedly, sure, but they always assumed that their little lair in the basement of the abandoned hospital was enough to keep her away from the agency’s poor imitation of ‘good’. They know they’re wrong immediately when their favourite henchman meets them at the door, their expression somehow getting more downtrodden as they catch the villain’s gaze.
“Uh,” they say when the villain starts to breeze past them, and they pause to look back at them. “S-something happened whilst you were gone, I’m so sorry, we–”
“Spit it out,” the villain says flatly, and the henchman flinches slightly at their tone.
“You girlfriend.” The words that struggled so hard to be heard just a moment ago spill out like the henchman can’t control them. “It’s [Hero]. I’m so sorry, we tried to stop him but–”
They continue into the lair, leaving the henchman in an anxious mess by the door. They have all the information they need. They’re going to deal with it.
-
The hero has lived in the same shitty little house since the day they went their separate ways. A window cracked to let the breeze in, the light blinds drifting against the draft, gives the villain the perfect entrance as they clamber through and into the hero’s space.
They’re in the kitchen. The hero is sitting across from the window, bent over a bowl of cereal in the gloom of the lowered lights. There’s no way he doesn’t notice the villain standing in front of him, but his eyes don’t raise from the newspaper in front of him. 
He finally graces them with his attention when their dagger buries into the paper and half the table beneath it next to his hand. The action doesn’t even make him flinch, and he meets their gaze with lazy expectancy. 
“Where is she?” The words come out as a rough hiss, and the hero’s brows raise slightly at the question.
“Where’s who?” he asks innocently, and the villain has to take a deep breath to rein in their rage at his insolence. 
“You know who.” They tear the blade from the wood to jab it in his face, though he looks like he couldn’t care less. “My men told me exactly what you did.”
“Oh, yeah, that.” The hero gets to his feet with a groan, stretching slightly as he does. The villain’s impatience is wearing dangerously thin, but he doesn’t seem to care as he slowly ambles out of the kitchen and down the corridor outside.
He pauses outside a door, fishing a key from out of his pocket. “You’re not the only one with a basement,” is all he says before he swings the door open and descends into the darkness beyond. The villain follows him aimlessly, thankful when he flicks a light on at the bottom of the steps.
The doubt they had about why the hero is trying to lure them into his basement of all places dissipates when they lay their eyes on their civilian, tightly bound to an uncomfortable looking chair, dry tear tracks streaking her face. She heaves a deep breath when she sees them, but she doesn’t say anything. The villain doesn’t feel the same.
“Holy shit, [Civilian], thank god,” they say as they start towards her, but they pause in their tracks when the glint of metal behind her catches their attention. They were never one to find guns particularly graceful, but they’ve never wanted one more as the hero levels the barrel with her head.
“Break up with her,” he demands simply.
“What?” The single word is laced with confusion and worry.
The hero shrugs. “Break up with her.”
“Who the hell do you think I am?” The villain takes another step towards her, but the hero’s stare hardening into a warning stops them in their tracks. “I thought you were a hero. The agency can’t allow you to do this.”
“They don’t control my life outside of work. I do my job. That’s all they need to know.” He unlatches the safety with a metallic click, and she lets out a whimper at the sound. “You know what I want. Break up with her before I do it for you.”
“If this is your way of getting back at me for setting fire to that empty building the other day you’re really fucked in the head,” they snap coldly. Their hand brushes against the dagger tucked back inside their coat, but they know they can’t do much with it from here.
“Are you stupid? This isn’t about work,” he spits. “It’s not even about her. It’s about us.”
The villain didn’t think their confusion could get any deeper. “We haven’t been friends for a long time, [Hero].”
“I– I know. I don’t want to be friends.” His hand lowers, glancing at the gun in his grip for a moment. “We made a promise a long time ago. Do you remember?”
Of course they do. It was the peak of their friendship – they’d laughed and hooked pinky fingers, presenting each other with makeshift bouquets of daisies and dandelions before the bell rang for class. I want nothing more than to be as carefree as that again, they think distantly. “Yeah,” is what comes out instead.
“I want to make good on that promise,” the hero states bluntly, a newfound confidence in him as he levelly meets their gaze, the gun raised to the civilian again. “I haven’t seen anyone for a while now, especially for this. For you.”
“I have a girlfriend that you’re currently pointing a gun at,” the villain points out irritably.
“Not if you break up with her, you don’t.”
The villain drops their gaze to the girl in front of him. The skin on her wrists is raw from ropes tied too tight with inexperience, her usual perfectly done makeup running tracks down her face. Leaving her would mean marrying the hero.
They take a deep breath, meeting their girlfriend’s eye with a look they know she’ll recognise. “I’m sorry, [Civilian]. I have to break up with you.” Their voice is flat, and she dips her gaze with a short nod.
“Tell her you can’t see her again.”
The villain stares at the hero incredulously, only met with that same expectancy. “Are you serious?”
The hero bumps the barrel against the civilian for emphasis. “We’re going to get married, [Villain]. I don’t want you seeing your exes.”
They sigh deeply, trying to weave a way out of this as the hero adds more stitches. “I can’t see you again.”
The hero nods approvingly, finally dropping the gun back into his belt. “Good.”
-
A taxi rumbles up outside, and the villain carefully helps the civilian inside whilst the hero watches from the gate. He steps up behind them the moment the door shuts, putting a hand on their shoulder. They tense at the contact, fearing the worst.
“We should probably be comfortable living together if we’re going to get married,” he says lightly. His grip on them tightening threateningly as they stare longingly at the taxi. “I don’t think the glass on a taxi is bulletproof,” he adds when he feels their reluctance. He makes sure to shift his position so that the gun on his belt catches the light.
“Okay, fine, jesus.” They lean down to the taxi driver’s window to give him the civilian’s address.
“Aren’t you… coming home?” she asks uncertainly, and the villain averts their gaze to avoid having to see how worried she is.
“I’m sorry,” is all they can find to say, and they lean back from the car, letting it pull away from the curb and down the road. The civilian watches them from the back window, giving them an unsure wave before disappearing around the corner. 
“I’m so excited,” the hero continues, uncaring to the villain’s turmoil as they stare at the empty street. “We should start planning, hm?”
The hero guides them back into his house, and the villain is already devising a plan against him. If they can play up to his expectations they can catch him offguard. If their blade gets them out of the hero’s house and back to the civilian, they’ll use it. They’re going to leave this god forsaken place if it means the hero has to die for it.
(Part 2)
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