#i didn't get home from it until 12:30pm

[qinluofu]

₍^..^₎　⌅　Day in the life of younger sibling ＠sae&rin ‹𝟥

(# >o<) 　 ❛ 　💐 　 ♡⃘ 　 pure fluff ﹒ ❀ ﹒no warnings

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waking up in the morning at 7:00am sharp, getting ready for the minature version of prison but with your 2 older brothers. sae, the oldest, sleeps at the bedroom right side of yours - along with rin, second oldest, who sleeps at the bedroom left side of yours.

they're already awake by the time you are. in fact they wake you up, because if they didn't we'd be here until noon. sae makes the pancakes and rin makes the orange juice, your in charge of eating it.

since its the morning there's not much conversations being made & it's dead quiet aside from the rustling sounds of plates and bags being taken out. the itoshi brothers don't mind you being reliant on them, as they think it's a responsibility. they'd be willing to make you breakfast and wake you up everyday until you die.

when you arrive to the gates of hell, sae has to go to the other building. he tells you to stay safe and walks away, leaving rin to take care of you. rin always walks with you till the lockers cuz what if some creep goes up to you?? you need a 6 ft tall brother to handle this ( emo dog priviledges )

hanging out with your friends is cool, but not when the captain of the junior soccer club rin itoshi is constantly staring at your guy friends while his team mate isagi yoichi tries to get his attention. everytime you tell him that your fine and it's alright he goes :|.

class goes by smoothly and now its lunch time, yippie :D. oh but you don't need to get in line to get school lunch food that's ew, you already have a handmade lunch box made by sae.

today's lunch box consisted of sticky white rice along with fried egg, baby carrots with sweet & sour chicken. all in separated containers, packed nicely in a heating bag - oh and a pot of seaweed soup. nice.

as usual, the baby carrots are left untouch with a few white rice left sticking on the container. that's gonna be sae's business later on in the afternoon. you don't miss the way sae passes by your classroom, claiming he wants to see the school's newest football player isagi yoichi but everytime isagi talks to him he looks at the container of untouched baby carrots instead with an annoyed glare

isagi is starting to think the family has some issues going on.

school life is tough but when its finally over, you practically sprint to the metal gates only for sae to grab your hand and tells you "it's not safe" and to "calm down" while rin crosses his hands and gives you an unimpressed look.

"too slow turtle, i was already here" "you were supposed to wait for them dumbass" "says who?"

since its a hot summer day, sae takes you and rin to an ice cream shop to cool down a little. sae never eats the ice cream though, just hands you and rin a cone each and pays for it.

when you get home, you leave your lunchboxes on the table and decided to get a cooling bath. you don't do your homework immediately despite the constant nagging from sae and instead play some games.

at 8:24pm you went downstairs to eat dinner. rin always drags you off the bed because no matter how loud sae calls you to come down and eat you never seem to find the energy to do so.

at 11:30pm, after a tired day of everything you finally fall back to bed and sleep. you always forget to shut the lights so rin has to personally go to your room to do that for you, he says its a bad habit that you should fix soon but somehow his eyes never show a hint of annoyance.

at 12:00am does sae finally sleep, not without checking up on you and rin's room to make sure your both snoozing away. only after doing that does he find the comfort to be able to fall asleep, dreaming about whats to come.

a/n - this was not proof read guys so ignore the spelling & grmmar mistakes ...

[geekedoutbunny]

To Love All of You

𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 - 𝑴𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝑭𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒙 𝒀𝒖𝒋𝒊 𝑰𝒕𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒊, 𝑴𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝑭𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒙 𝑺𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒏𝒂 𝑹𝒚𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏 - 𝒀𝒂𝒐𝒊 𝑹𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆

𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒐𝒎 - 𝑱𝒖𝒋𝒖𝒕𝒔𝒖 𝑲𝒂𝒊𝒔𝒆𝒏

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 - 𝑵𝒐𝒏𝒆

𝑹𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 - 𝑺𝑭𝑾

𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 - 𝒀𝒂𝒐𝒊, 𝑩𝒙𝑩, 𝑩𝒐𝒚 𝒙 𝑩𝒐𝒚, 𝑴𝒙𝑴, 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒙 𝑴𝒂𝒍𝒆

𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔 - 𝑭𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝑴𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊, 𝑰𝒕𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒓𝒊 𝒀𝒖𝒋𝒊, 𝑺𝒖𝒌𝒖𝒏𝒂 𝑹𝒚𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒏

-----------------------------------

The kitchen in the 'Itadori Household' was very lively today. Megumi was chopping up vegetables. He just finished cutting up the pork and placing it into the fryer to fry, and now he was cutting the cabbage. His phone was hooked up to the Bluetooth speaker, playing music in the background as he worked. The music was soft and low, yet he could still hear it over the loud sizzling of the chopped pork.

At the moment, he was home alone. Itadori was out at the moment training with Gojo. The basic part of his training was done, but now he was learning about reverse curse techniques. Megumi smiled softly to himself as he thought about Yuji's excited rambles about the curse spells and techniques he's been learning lately. He'll never admit it, but Yuji's rants were adorable.

He looked up from the now-chopped cabbage and over towards the microwave. The time that glowed read 12:30pm. Megumi stared at the clock for a moment before he went back to the task at hand. "Yuji won't be home until 1, so I have time to finish lunch." He said aloud to himself as he began to place the chopped vegetables into another frying pan. "Egg rolls, rice, and Tonkatsu should be a good meal for him." He said aloud as the rice cooker beeped.

12:50

Megumi sighed in contentment as he placed the now-rolled egg rolls into a frying pan. Megumi stared down at the frying meal with a thoughtful stare. "I wonder how Yuji's doing." He said aloud as he thought of imagining Yuji and Gojo goofing off. He sighed as he closed his eyes and an amused smile stretched across his face. "He's probably doing something ridiculous right now with Gojo-sensei." He said in an amused voice.

He rolled the egg roll around some so that the other side could fry. "I honestly shouldn't even begin to imagine Gojo-sensei's ridiculousness, knowing him it'll be worse than Yuji's. At least Yuji has common curtisy." He said in an exhausted voice. The music suddenly stopped and he looked over at the speaker in question, but he didn't have to guess long when the robotic voice came through reading off Yuji's number aloud. He picked up the phone and he answered it.

"Hello." He said. He could hear the sound of Yuji's hard breathing and the sound of wind passing by quickly. "HEY MEGMI!! I'M ON MY WAY HOME RIGHT NOW!!" Came his energetic voice. Megumi pulled the phone away from his ear with a slight flinch. "Stop yelling, you'll blow my damn speaker out." Megumi said. Yuji laughed sheepishly yet excitedly. Megumi smiled softly. "SORRY! SORRY! I'M JUST SO EXCITED, I CAN'T HELP IT!! I JUST FINISHED TRAINING WITH SENSEI!! I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW YOU WHAT I JUST LEARNED!!" Yuji shouted excitedly.

Megumi sighed in slight annoyance as he kept the phone a good distance from his ear. Yuji was just too excited to lower his voice, but Megumi didn't mind it too much. He honestly lived just to see and hear Yuji's happiness. "I'LL BE HOME SOON, KAY!?" Yuji shouted once more. "Okay, I'll see you when you get home." Megumi said with a slight nod. "KAY! BYE MEGMI!!" Yuji shouted before his line cut off. The sound of beeping sounded through the speaker, signaling that the call ended, before the soft music continued once more.

Megumi placed his phone down on the counter gently as he continued to cook the egg rolls.

1:20 pm

Megumi had set the plates out on the table, the food on the serving plates sat in the center while Megumi's and Yuji's plates lay empty in their respective spots. Megumi was currently pacing back and forth from the kitchen to the dorm room door. He would stand in front of the door for a moment, a worried gaze dancing on his face before he'd pace back into the kitchen and back to the door just to do it all over again. 'Where is Yuji? He should've been made it home by now. What's taking him so long?' He thought in worry.

He paced back to the kitchen and he stopped, he looked down at his phone, a weighing look on his face as he considered his choices. 'Maybe I should call him. Check up on his location... I hope he isn't in danger.' He thought as he moved to pick up the phone, but the sound of the door opening caught his attention and he whipped around. He walked towards the door, stopping halfway in the kitchen with a hopeful gaze. "Yuji, what took so long?" Megumi asked in a worried yet slightly annoyed tone.

"Sorry, Megumi, but the brat's a bit busy at the moment." Megumi's eyes widen in shock as the voice of Sukuna sounded from behind the door. Megumi watched the door open, revealing the signature tattoos of Sukuna that marked Yuji's face. Megumi stared on in surprise. Yuji's outfit was a mess. His shirt was torn and covered in semi-dried blood, and his pants had gashes in them, but the giant hole in the center of his shirt is what caught Megumi's main attention. He could see that Sukuna had healed the body, but just looking at the massive hole made Megumi's blood run cold.

Sukuna smirked calmly as he took Megumi's silence in amusement. "You don't mind spending the afternoon with me, right?" He asked in a taunting voice. He looked past Megumi with a curious face and he smiled. "Ah!! Playing housewife are we? You made the brat a cute little lunch huh? Guess he won't be getting to eat it." He said as he licked his lips. Megumi stared at Sukuna a little longer before he walked towards him. Sukuna looked at him in question before he smirked.

"Oh? Not happy to see me? Going to kick me out again?" He asked with an amused smirk. Megumi's face stayed unreadable as he slowly approached him, Sukuna's smirk slightly dropped but he remained calm. "If you're worried about the brat, don't be. He's fine." He said, he was trying to read Megumi, but he was having a hard time. Megumi walked until he stopped in front of Sukuna. His toes were nearly touching Sukuna's as he stood face-to-face with him. Sukuna stared down at him with an observation stare. 'What's with him? Why isn't he reacting to me?' He thought curiously as he stared down at Megumi's worried yet unreadable gaze.

'He'd usually be yelling at me right about now, so why isn't he?' He thought. He was slightly nervous. He was more used to a negative reaction from Megumi, not... whatever this is. "Say, Megumi. What's got you all-" Sukuna was stopped mid-sentence as he was suddenly slapped across his cheek. His eyes widen at the quick and sudden action. The slight stinging on his cheek vibrated and he reached up to touch it. 'A slap?' He thought in confusion before he looked down at Megumi. His eyes widen in surprise when he saw Megumi's worried face.

"You idiot! I was worried about you two! What did you guys do!? Why is there a giant hole in your shirt!? Why didn't you idiots call for backup!?" Megumi fussed, his face was a mixture of fear, worry, and anger. Sukuna remained speechless, he honestly didn't know what to say. "You're an idiot!! Both of you are!! If you're ever in trouble I want you to call me!! I know that you're both strong, but I hate being left on the side not knowing anything!! I was worried dammit!!" Megumi fussed once more, his fists clenched to his side tightly until his knuckles turned snow white.

Sukuna's shocked face remained unmoving as he stayed silent. Megumi stared up at him, before he sighed and he released his tight fist. Violence wasn't going to solve anything, and besides, he was home now. So all was okay. 'He's alive.... He's alright... We're alright.' Megumi thought as he slowly let his anger go. Sukuna blinked in confusion, but he didn't say anything before he gave a smirk and he rubbed his cheek. "Man, that's one hell of a slap you gave me. I actually kind of felt that one." Sukuna said in a casual voice.

Megumi didn't say anything as he raised his arms up, his sudden movement caused Sukuna to reel back in slight anticipation, but the feeling of arms wrapping around his neck made him pause. 'What?' He thought in confusion. Megumi's arms tightened around Sukuna's neck, as he hugged him tighter. "You deserved it. I hope Yuji felt it too. He needs a good wack." He said in a calm voice as he held him. Sukuna's hands twitch as they hovered awkwardly next to Megumi's side. "I know that you're powerful, and that nothing can really kill you. But I can't help but worry about you too. You're a part of Yuji, and I promised myself that I would love all of him. So that includes you too, Sukuna." Megumi explained as he kept his hug firm.

Sukuna's eyes widen at his words, before they softened. His hands relaxed and he gently, yet firmly placed his hands on his waist, before he slowly wrapped his arms around Megumi. His eyes closed and he buried his nose into his shoulder. 'Megumi has nice hugs... no wonder why the brat likes them so much.' He thought in contentment as he relaxed against Megumi. They held each other a little longer before they separated. Megumi's face returned to its usual passive self, but his eyes shinned warmly. Sukuna seemed to be caught in a trance as he stared down at them. "Come on, I made lunch, and whether it's you or Yuji who eats it, I don't care. I just want you to come and eat." He said as he pulled back from Sukuna.

He grabbed his hand and pulled him along. Sukuna followed without complaint as he followed him to the table. Once there, Megumi let his hand go, and Sukuna's hand twitched. 'I already miss their warmth.' He thought as his hand tightened into a fist. Megumi worked over the food, as he placed a good amount on Sukuna's plate before he fixed his own. "Come and sit, I want you to eat. I worked like a damn slave and I expect you to eat it all." He said as he placed his now full plate on his own side. He turned to Sukuna. "But first, you need to wash your hands. We take hygiene in this 'household' seriously." He said as he gave him a pointed stare.

Sukuna didn't respond as he stared at him, his stare was warm yet curious. Megumi stared up at him with an observation stare. 'He's like a dog. At least they also share that quality together.' He thought as he pictured both Yuiji and Sukuna as happy giant dogs. He was broken from his thought when Sukuna's hands gently grabbed onto his face. He stared up at him with a confused stare as he gave him a slight glare. "What are you doing?" He asked as he grabbed his wrists. Sukuna didn't respond as he leaned down, and gently pressed his lips against Megumi's.

His eyes widened from the sudden kiss from Sukuna, but he slowly relaxed into the kiss. 'A kiss from Sukuna... would this be considered the kiss of death?' He thought before he deepened the kiss. 'If so, I'd do it again.' He thought. 'I'm just happy to feel him. To feel a warm body and not a cold one. Whether it's Sukuna or Yuji... I could care less, I just always want to see them coming through that door alive.' He thought as they hugged each other, their kiss becoming heated and sloppy.

'I always wanna feel and see you in my arms. No matter who you are.'

[hypegirl1]

The formula of love (fem! reader x Yoosung Kim)

-Note: Hii,this is my first fic lmfao,I did it the best i could,I hope my Mystic Messenger players here like it,enjoy!I´m very sorry If there is any mistake,just correct me

Summary: You and Yoosung try to help each other to study for an important physics test,but both of you end up being worse than the other when it comes to physics,and there´s something else Yoosung might be hiding...

Word count: 941

Warnings: None

You were at the empty classroom trying to understand a lil something about the previous lesson,but your thoughts were as empty as the classroom,you cocouldn't even focus,the only few things that came to your mind were about what you were gonna eat today,it was 12:30pm already,you were hungry,but you had to study for this super important test.

-Come on! Why am I getting everything but the result in this problem?!

You were exhausted,hungry,you couldn't focus,what could go worse? Until you heard the door open slowly,revealing one of your classmates,shiny blonde long hair,lovely purple eyes,usually with dark circles,but this wasn´t the case,and an awesome charisma,Yoosung Kim,he wasn't the smartest at your class,but he tried,he was better at other things of course,but let's say that physics wasn't also one of his strong points,like you.

-"Y/N,I didn'/ knew you were here,are you also trying to study for the test?"

-"Yeah,trying...I don't understand anything,I've been stuck on the same problem for like 10 minutes"

-"Well,maybe I could try to help you,if you want me to..."

He was a little bit shy,you knew he wasn't the best at this,but at this point,rejecting some help,even if it was usseles,didn't make sense.

-"Sure,why not?We can help each other if you want"

He sat next to you,pulled out his stuff and checked out your problem.

-"I think I found out the problem,why are you putting this in kilometers? It´s supposed to be in meters"

You were in disbelief,as much as Copernicus when he found out the earth wasn´t the center of the universe,and neither what Yoosung said made any sense.

-"What?No,what are you talking about? The problem tells you that the result must be in kilometers"

-"I know,but in order to do that,you have to transform this into meters to do this operation"

-"What operation? You are adding extra stuff for no reason,just get to the point,don´t make 78 operations!"

-"But to get the final result you have to do this!"

Perfect,now none of you were saying coherent things,because none of those answers weren´t even close to the final result that you had to get.

-"Yoosung,you aren´t helping me that much you know?"

-"What? I- sorry,I´m just trying to help you,but you´re not listening"

-"Because your process makes no sense!"

-"It does! Look, you have to- wait,that doesn´t actually make sense"

-"I told you"

-"But your process is also wrong,both of us are arguing for nothing"

You couldn´t help but laught at the situation,you just spend 5 minutes arguing nonsense,but you liked it.

-"I can´t believe we argued about nothing"

-"Yeah...you shouldn´t have accepted my help,I´m not that good in physics haha"

-"Oh Yoosung don´t say that,I was desperate for some help,It didn´t matter from who,but if I´m being honest,you helped me forget a little bit about all this stress I have,thank you"

You could see how Yoosung was slightly blushing,oh wow,he was- cute,at this point you didn´t even knew what to say or how to react,you couldn´t just suddenly start catching feelings for one of your classmates,that you never thought about it before,that you only saw sometimes at class,if he wasn´t absent playing LOLOL at home,and those only times that you saw him,he was sleeping at class or playing on his phone,these last weeks you saw him at school everyday,and he was coming to classes,and paying attention?What was going on?

-"Really? If that´s the case,I´m glad I could help you in something"

His smile was so pure and innocent,maybe you were starting to catch feelings for him...

-"Yoosung,this might sound weird,coming from someone who is just your classmate,but,would you like to have lunch with me after school?"

-"Sure! I would love to,I don´t have nothing else to do"

Weird,did he just denied being at home playing LOLOL until 1am for having lunch with you? Or was he just being honest? Whatever it was,you were happy about it.

-"Really? Thank you,could I ask you something?"

-"Anything"

-"You´ve been coming to school a lot these days,why? I mean,I don´t want to sound rude,but I barely see you at school,you rarely come,if there´s something going on you can tell me"

-"Oh,thank you for your concern Y/N,but everything´s fine,I live all by myself,it´s just that- I stay up too late playing LOLOL,and I don´t like school too much,haha"

-"I´m happy you´re fine,but how come these last weeks you haven´t missed a day?"

-"Oh uhm- that´s-"

Yoosung didn´t knew what to answer,was he really okay?

-"Alright,I never really pay attention to anyone or anything,but the other day when you woke me up after class,I saw you,I never knew there was a girl as pretty and kind as you,I mean,you woke me up when the class finished,and I just wanted to see you these days as I only see you here,and try to appear as a good student in your eyes"

-"You-you were trying to get my attention?

Now you were the one stuttering,he was trying to get your attention? Because he thought you were kind and pretty? He-liked you?

-"Yeah,it sounds desperate I know...but I barely come here and I never study,what girl likes a guy that doesn´t even try at school"

-"I do"

-"Wha-what?"

He was in disbelief,did you just say that?

-"You don´t need to be a top tier student so that a girl likes you,Yoosung,you might not be good at physics,or sports,but I´m sure you are very good at other stuff,that I would like to know about"

-"I would love to tell you about them,should we leave to eat?It´s pretty late now"

-"Sure"

You packed all your stuff and left with Yoosung,a lovely smile on both your faces with a very strong blush on your face,maybe you did liked him...

This was short AF,and probably the worst thing I ever wrote to start my page lmfaooo,but I tried

[miseryinyou]

So it's been a snow day(s) for the past 48 hours in my neck of the woods. Not for me. But for most people.

We got about 2 feet of snow Tuesday overnight/Wednesday morning and the world shut down.

I currently live at home. Financially - it's a win. Rent is cheaper than what I could get elsewhere which makes it easier to pay off my student loans. In every other aspect it's a fucking nightmare.

I live with my mom (48) and my younger brother (24).

Because our family is dysfunctional af I have had MOST of the non-financial household responsibilities since the age of TEN. I mow the lawn 90% of the time. I do 90% of the dishes/taking out the garbage/vacuuming/kitchen cleaning etc.

When I complain about the unfair level of household work I do - I am told to "suck it up" OR "stop being so uptight".

Usually I just grit my teeth and think of the money I'm saving by living at home.

But yesterday it snowed. I still worked. I was able to work from home. But I worked.

My mom works for a school district so she had a snow day/day off. My brother works at a bank. They were closed due to snow - therefore he had the day off.

Me? I worked from 6:30am - 3:30pm.

I woke up at 3am. I usually work out for about 1h45min before work. I was convinced I was going into the office until about 6am. Therefore, I woke up an hour earlier than usual so I could shovel the driveway/dig out my car before work. At this point we had about 5 inches of snow. The shoveling took me about an hour (driveway/path to front door/sidewalk/dig out car).

All day. I worked. They were off. We got about 1.5 feet of snow between 7am and 1pm.

I came out of my room for lunch - the kitchen is a disaster. Crumbs all over the counter/dishes in the sink/food on the floor. I have 30 mins to eat so I quickly clean it and take my pre-prepped lunch into my room to eat.

I come out of my room after work. No one. Not ONE of the TWO able-bodied people WHO HAVE THE DAY OFF shoveled the driveway.

At this point it's going to be dark in about 1 hour. So I go outside after working 45 mins of overtime and shovel. It took me 2.5 hours. 1.5 hours ALONE was just digging out my car so I could drive to work the next morning. Also, it was garbage night. So guess who had to get the garbage together and pull it out to the curb? Me. Always me.

I'm annoyed. But whatever. It's not supposed to snow again. I'll deal with it. Tomorrow is a new day. It's not like I spent about 12 hours of my day working/shoveling. And another 2 working out. I'm not tired. It's fine.

But it's not fine. This morning I drove to work. The roads weren't great and my commute took me twice as long as usual.

My mom and brother? Still had the day off.

I come home after a stressful day and The HOLE I DUG FOR MY CAR. THE HOLE THAT TOOK ME 1.5 HOURS TO DIG is occupied by my brother's car. He didn't work. He had no reason to leave the house. He had no reason to get in his car in the FIRST PLACE.

So I had no choice but to park in the 2 FOOT SNOW BANK his car left behind.

Right there I started crying.

I drive a sedan. I have snow tires, sure. But the snowbank is the same height as my tires. I will have to work tomorrow. I was drifting and struggling for 10 minutes just to park after work. So back out to the road with my shovel I go. This time to dig ANOTHER hole for my car just so I can go to work tomorrow.

It's been such a bad week.

God. I'm like 10 minutes away from calling in sick tomorrow. But alas, my fucking family will probably be home (they're calling for freezing rain tonight) and frankly I'd rather work than be stuck at home with them tomorrow.

[blaiddfailcam]

I'M FINALLY HOME

This was the most absurd trip for a wedding I've ever taken, but it was worth it in the end to see one of my best friend's beaming face as they turned to face the guests during such an important moment in their life. I'm not usually one for tradition, but I'll be damned if I can't keep a promise, lol.

[Needlessly verbose description of this completely fucked journey below.]

To paint a picture of how petulently fate tried to keep me and my sister from making the trip, I was supposed to have left on a train at ~10:00am Saturday morning to arrive at the destination ~6:00, an hour or so before the welcome reception. My train was canceled due to "wiring issues."

I contacted my sister, who already had a flight booked out of Philadelphia, but her arrival would be somewhere around 8:00pm, at the tail end of the ceremony. We caught a bus to the airport at 3:30pm, then waited at our gate until the time of our departure, ~6:30pm. Mind you, this was only supposed to be about a half-hour flight.

A storm rolled in. Our flight was delayed another hour.

The storm raged on. Every lightning strike necessitated another 15-minute wait before anyone could board. It was evident we weren't making it to the welcome reception, lol.

At around 8:00pm, the storm had subsided. But, it turns out the plane at the gate wasn't ours. More precisely, it was intended for another destination entirely, and because it couldn't lift off, our plane had no way of entering the gate to let us board. When it finally departed, we were left waiting in uncertainty whether another would arrive, as the next plane was flying in from Canada. There was talk that the flight might be delayed to the following morning—the day of the ceremony.

No sooner than 10:30pm, a plane arrived to carry us the 30 minutes to our destination. Mind you, I'd never flown before, so my anxiety was through the roof as it was, and the delay certainly didn't help, lol. All I could think during the flight was, "My rotten luck is what will bring this plane crashing down." It was a relatively turbulent flight through the clouds. Seeing nothing but reflected flashes of the plane's lights off the rushing clouds as I sat in utter darkness was a hell of a first flight experience.

Soon enough, we made touchdown, but keeping with the trend of tardiness that plagued our trip, we were stuck on the plane a few more minutes, as the airport receiving us was shortstaffed and we had no marshalls to guide the plane to the gate, lmao. The clock struck midnight as we made our way to the baggage carousel.

An hour and a half later, we barely managed to nab an Uber to our hotel. We checked in at almost 2:00am. My sister hadn't slept in over 24 hours.

The day of the ceremony was mercifully sunny, despite calls for rain. Naturally, we had trouble finding an Uber to our destination, and upon arrival at a sprawling, labyrinthine nature park, we realized we had no idea where to locate the blue cedar the ceremony was to be held under. We were offered vague directions, and hastened on our way at 12:54pm.

The ceremony would begin at 1:00.

In shorter a time than expected (the guide told us it was a 10-minute walk), we scrambled up a hill and spotted the ceremony gathering. Everyone was already standing. We made our way over quickly and quietly, and thankfully there were two empty seats on the side closest to our approach, which we took as soon as my friend and their bride reached the cedar tree. Their back was to us, so they hadn't noticed how deftly we had slipped into the crowd.

It was such a cute ceremony! Very gay, 10/10. Don't tell anyone, but the three of us met on Tumblr in 2010 over EarthBound memes. We'd visited each other a few times before, even if we only sparingly get a chance to communicate these days. To see them married in person after all these years was so fucking wholesome. Sorry, it all made me regress into 2010-speak. :')

It wasn't until toward the end of the ceremony that the brides faced the guests of honor. The smile they flashed upon seeing us there, half-dead from our successful misadventure made all my stress from the journey completely melt away. Later, at the reception, they told us that seeing us there had made their entire ceremony.

I still need to message them now that we've made it home. I'm just glad we could be there to witness it all, even if I am dead-tired and have work tomorrow morning.

Sorry if this was sappy of me, lol. I try to avoid blurting slam-poetry posts, but a wedding kind of deserves one.

[guvato]

Tamalog Day 12

Today was probably the day i interacted the least with my Tamas since the Tamalog's beginning as i was really distracted playing video games to give them much of my attention, it doesn't mean they got sick, hungry or sad, cuz honestly i try my best every day to avoid that, so i checked on them sometimes and tried to maintain their Needs at max. I noticed that i tend to spend more time with my Tamas and check on them more regularly while at work, while in my off days i don't give them much attention, don't know why is that, but seems to be my MO.

It starts like any other day, at 7AM, when before going to bed i called the Sitter for each of them, except Fuyofuyotchi woke up asking me to take him to the Arcade, which we did, and we played some matches of that one game where you need to catch falling coins and money bags, and after we played a bit, i called the Sitter for him, checking on Picochutchi and seeing as she was doing fine, i called the Sitter for her and woke up Kuchipatchi to left him to house-sit, and then of course, i fell asleep.

Waking up at 1PM, i was quick to check on everyone and then pick them up from their Sitters, and since everyone was doing okay so i just went on with my day. As i sat to eat, my Pix lightened up and oh boy, Fuyofuyotchi evolved into Mokokotchi! I wonder where all his old legs went to. Anyway, the afternoon was pretty chill, just feeding them bit by bit and checking on their fun meters, Kuchipatchi was not feeling too fond of me, so i have him a LOT of pets, then i fed him some burguers and soup, then he was all set until the night. Picochutchi got a little hungry too so i fed her some Roast Beef and gave her some red beans to make her happier, which helped a lot cuz she loves some red beans. Mokokotchi and i went to the restaurant and he had some gratin and some afternoon tea, after that we played a bit more at the Arcade and i checked on him mostly to clean his poop.

When evening came, i made sure to do a good check on everyone before each of them went to sleep, Mokokotchi being the one to sleep the earliest of the 3, was the first one i checked, and he was doing fine, so i took him to the restaurant and fed some pizza, after that i just waited for him to go to sleep. The Pix seems to be kinda low maintenance, which helps a lot with me not needing to keep constant track on my Tama's needs. Not that i don't like high maintenance devices, it's just that i don't want my Tama to get sick or even die cuz i didn't check on it before going to take a shower or do the dishes (like has happened before.)

Kuchipachi was very happy but kinda hungry, so i fed him the last too meals we had left on the fridge and since it was nearing 9:30PM i didn't want to go to the Arcade with him, but tomorrow we shall do a whole lot of dancing to get some money and fill up that fridge, cuz you know our boy Kuchipatchi LOVES food, so we won't leave him hungry and hanging. 3 OF EACH FOOD IT IS! At 9:30PM, Kuchipatchi went to bed and asked me to help him fall asleep, and no matter the day, i always want to be there for him if he needs me, so after a couple of pets, he fell asleep.

Picochutchi ate some more Roast Beef and went into the TamaVerse to compete in the Arena, and boy today was one of those days that luck just wasn't at our side as even though we played phenomenally, and got pretty much tied with the other contestants we still got only 3rd place, which aye, bummer, but that won't make it less fun as winning isn't all that matters after all. After spending a little more time at the TamaVerse, Picochutchi went home, so come 9:45PM i just made sure everything was okay and let her do her things before going to sleep, and with that, our Tama Day was over.

Honestly i forgot about the social media photo today, sorry. I've been playing a lot of God Of War (2018) and losing track of time, which basically happened today as i told myself to not forget about the social media photo and then forgot about it anyway, lol. Thanks for reading, see you tomorrow. <3

[mynext30years]

So I was able to go to the fair last week. I actually had a great week for the most part. I started going to the fair on Thursday evening to see the first of 2 demolition derbies heald at the fair every year. It was pretty good but the action wasn't super intense until the last 20 minutes when the 9 cylinder cars were on the track.

It went 4 cylinders, 6 cylinders, and then 8 cylinders. I don't know much about cars, but that event taught me that 8 cylinder cars have a lot more power than the other 2 types of cars. I also had the best barbecue food I've ever had that night, I also had a fair fried dough and a large slushie.

The next day, I picked up my mom from the bus station, which is conveniently located right across the street from the fairgrounds. By the time I picked her up, it was 5 pm. So we went to the fair as there was a comedy show we were going to see that started at 7. Thè picture of the stage behind the net is the picture of the comedy show, they had it in our towns Baseball field, and only like 20 people came so it was real intimate, but it was also really hilarious. Plus, he's good at singing. (His name is Mike Bova; Look him up).

Before the comedy show, we caught the mid to end of an acrobat show, which was pretty incredible. The last act was the man with the stars jumper being shot out of a cannon. I got to talk to all of the performers in the acrobat show, and the comedian was really nice and talked one on one with everyone there, including my mom and me. Before we went to the show that night, I took my mom to the bbq place so she could taste how good it was, we also each had a souvenir pepsi cup thats like 40 ounces, but she didn't take hers with her when she left so now I'm stuck with 2.

The next day, Saturday, my mom and I went to the fair, starting at 12. Our plan was to ride the rides all day that day, see the exhibits, eat our favorite fair food, and then go to the last of the 2 demolition derbies. In reality, most of that happened, but there were some deviations in the plan. We did ride all the rides that we were able to age wise, but I had planned to ride each ride at least twice before I left as that is what I usually do at the fair. We did ride the bumper cars 2 times, but my stomach started getting sick after the other rides and eating, so I didn't want to go on any of the other rides more than once. My mom was also pretty tired out and needed her inhaler before we left.

We did have fair food, nothing too crazy, my mom got her first funnel cake, and I tried deep fried oreos, plus we stayed stocked up on waters and we each had a couple slushies again. I don't think we got anything else before we left because we were both feeling a bit full. But she did get me a pack of 10 special pokemon cards and a binder for them; I definitely wasn't expecting that, but I was happy. We had 2 quarters, so we tried my favorite coin pushing game that I like to play at the fair, I didn't want to waste more money on it. I did end up winning a few quarters, but I lost them again.

We also didn't end up going to the demolition derby, by 3:30pm we were feeling faired out and wanted to go back to my place (at least I did; if she wanted to stay or was bummed out about not going to the show, she didn't tell me). We ended up giving our tickets to 2 of my cousins whom we ended up running into before we left.

That was the end of my fair adventure but it was not the end of the visit with my mom, the next morning we took a bus to see my uncle who lives about an hour away and we stayed there until the next evening. It was good to see my birth family again (at least the ones who are the safest for me to be around) but I was also glad to be home with my adoptive mom and youngest brother where I feel most free and comfortable to be myself.

[noosesurroundsme]

Sunday is my birthday and I really want to give up

J decided to come back around again after just deciding he didn't want to talk to me anymore 4 months ago. A week before my Hiking trip Memorial Day weekend he texted me saying he wanted to give me my things back, which he could have done at any time if he didn't feel like seeing me, but he wanted to I guess. It was nice because I didn't have to buy another car charger for my phone for this 2500 mile road trip. He then wanted to hang out the night I was planning on leaving after I got off work, which is fine, but instead of leaving Wisconsin at 8-8:30pm, I left home at almost 10. Luckily I had my bags packed already, just had to load a cooler and put everything in the car.

I was really close to ending it before this trip. I was tired of my siblings, with work, and my uncle and his girlfriend being awful parents to my baby cousin (he's the best little toddler ever, he's fun and pretty well behaved). The stuff with my uncle and his girlfriend just completely unraveled before I left too so two weeks before Memorial Day I just decided I'm driving to Wyoming to go hiking in Medicine Bow-Routt National Forest and see a classic car museum in Nebraska. It made me feel so much better. Unfortunately the Medicine Bow peak trail was closed, the elevation up at the peak is 12k ft and there was still 6-8ft of snow along the side of the road up there, 30°F and super windy. I camped in Vedauwoo which is 50 miles from the bottom of Medicine Bow but still considered part of the forest. Laramie and Cheyenne, WY are cute little western towns and it felt really welcoming seeing a pride flag on the front window of this cute little local grocery store that I went to in Laramie. I did dispersed camping in the National Forest Parks which is only like $20 a night. It was a lot of fun. I also went to see Mt. Rushmore in South Dakota and camped out there. Driving the Needles Highway in SD was so much fun, especially with my daily being a 5 speed and awd. I had a lot of fun out there until the car broke. I pushed it too hard when I was having fun so my mom drove out and I towed it home on basically no sleep, 850 mi and 12+ hours (if the truck didn't have its own issues). I was up for two days. I went to work the morning we got back, on no sleep. I basically pulled the car off the trailer, returned the trailer, and my mom dropped me off at work right away.

All of that is just a long winded way of getting to the point. I've been home now for 2 or 3 weeks. My birthday is in a few days which I don't know what to do about. I hate that day. So many bad things happen. Now with J around again I don't know what to do. I started to get used to him not talking to me anymore and now I'm not ready if he still remembers what Sunday is and texts me or calls me or whatever. I usually turn my phone off and go far away and hide anyway. I kinda want to tell him I can't do it so he goes back away. I can't forget or forgive. I'm not good at that. I have a really good memory in a bad way. I ruminate over things forever. I still do about things from when I was 6 or middle school or other times/events of my life. I can't get past things. I can't forgive him or myself.

It doesn't help that now I'm pretty much stuck at home again. That trip showed me I don't have to be confined anymore. I have a car and can leave basically whenever the hell I want to and see the beauty in nature. Now my car is broken, I have to rebuild the engine or replace it (we'll see when I get it apart) so I'm stuck. I'm broke and I'm stuck. My aunt let me drive her car since she is bed ridden from a stroke, but I don't even get to have the fun of daily driving a stick shift car because it's broken.

I really want to give up.

[now-we-say-c0ral]

December 28, 2023

I'm still off sick until tomorrow because of this stomach bug. Been pooping less now but my stomach still hurts. What the fuck did I eat that upset my stomach so bad?

Ed went to work even though he wasn't 100%. I was nagging again but it feels like I'm talking to a tree. I just let him be and just told him to pack some medicine and his lunch as well.

I just played Pokemon the whole morning and made myself a high protein brunch-dinner around 12:30pm. Took a shower and went to the gym. I did chest, biceps, and abs today. It was a good session but my legs were a bit sore from yesterday's training. They're going to be screaming tomorrow when I'm hitting my legs again. I do legs twice a week now because Monty's legs inspired me to have cuts on my quads.

Went home and saw Ed covered in his warm poncho. That's cute. I reheated the mung beans and made some rice for his dinner. I won't be eating. I have to be more strict with myself because New Year will be the last time I'm going to be eating a lot of food. Fingers crossed.

Just playing Pokemon trying to fill the Pokedex and we're just watching JJK tonight. It's been a good day.

December 27, 2023

I was supposed to be working today but called in sick at 7am because of a 'stomach bug' and I'm not really feeling well. Ed wasn't feeling well too but he still insisted to go to work because that's just like him. I foresee that he will be back before 10am because he really didn't seem well sleeping last night. He came back drunk as fuck and he was running a fever, I think. It's the result of his relentless partying since the 23rd. Yes, I was nagging when he came back at 9:30am.

I went to the gym despite of my stomach bug and my stomach still hurts bad a lot. I did legs, abs, and shoulders. It was a good gym session for me. I also went to Morrisons to get some essentials for me and Ed because he's sick. I think it's Covid but we both tested and they came back negative.

I cooked mung bean soup for the sick boy and made him some Berocca to help him with his fever. He's still so warm. I told him to take a shower to help him.

I finished the Kitakami and Indigo Disk DLC last night and I've never been happier playing a DLC in Pokemon. It was so good! I love Carmine the most because she reminds me of me.

While I was in the grocery store, a thought came to me. It's so exhausting being a giver when you're in a relationship with a taker. Ed's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. That's him in his default. I'm exhausted and it took a lot of guts to finally say this because I've been trying to come up with explanations why I feel this way when I knew why from the start. I've changed, too. I'm less now. Maybe that's a good thing. I'm not going to be that tired anymore. I'm glad that I finally said it. It's so reaffirming. It's sad though that I have to keep myself from giving more of me to him but I'm happy because that means I get to have more of me for myself. I think it makes sense, right?

Kevin and I also agreed to meet for coffee on the 13th of Saturday. It's the third attempt after randomly seeing each other at the station to meet up for coffee but I think we'll see it through this time.

December 26, 2023

Finally! A long, well-deserved sleep after the physical stress that the 24-25th has given me. Those were happy days but I think ageing has made my mood sour. I think I grew up to be a Squidward.

I wanted to go to the gym but I saw online that they'll be reopening on the 27th. Seems like I can't burn the excess calories I've eaten the past few days. If it's not freezing cold here in the UK, it's fucking wet and windy. We can't choose a struggle here because we live with them all. Checking my bank account and I'm literally trying to process how I'm going to manage everything and it's not even January yet. I don't really know.

Ed went to Stevenage to attend their Filipino Christmas Party with his friends but I didn't want to attend mainly because my social battery has run out and I just want to be a potato in the bed gradually growing its roots.

I did nothing all day but I did record myself rapping Nicki Minaj's verse on Monster.

[facks-stories]

Twins - part 2

Initials key:

Mi? - milan [story]

Mi - milan [irl]

Ad - Adrain

So - Sombra

Ca - Capa

To - Tocada

-9:14am-

mi - "no-, nope-"

she tried closing the door but milan stops her, pulling her into the shed in a way that looked a lot more painful then it actually was, she stumbled in but over all was fine.

the other 3 couldn't be seen by animals or people other then milan so none of them bothered to move, though Sombra softly stoped Tocada from getting closer.

mi - "what the FUCK?" mi? - "can you be quiet"

mi - "no- I'm looking at myself and it isn't in a mirror, are you me?"

mi? - "no, not at all, what happened to your book?"

the other 3 looked at her confused, they had the art book, especially Capa, was he was drawing in it right now, but he was quick to realize she had one for writing too,

mi - "my art book?"

mi? - "no the story"

mi - "shit, I never wrote the full story down, thought about a few things but- wait still who the hell are you?"

mi? - 'fuck just finish your thought' "a character you made,"

mi - "uh.. which one?"

mi? - "the only one you didn't bother naming,"

mi - "uh, well I didn't ever draw you like this, you were kinda a void, being thing. why do you look like me?"

mi? - "we changed a bit, and don't ask me how I got here, I don't know, i'm trying to get back now"

...

mi? - *sigh* "now where is the book?"

drowsy, who would have thought not sleeping well for years now would make you sleepy if you were all of a sudden more human and real then you could ever be in a book.

mi? - "fuck.. I didn't sleep before this all happened"

a slight head ache, now the mix of light from the door paired with the lack of it in the shed was only making the slight headache mild. this was the first time in years feeling pain and a head ache wasn't the best first pain. it made her feel powerless.

mi - "I mean you could sleep in my room I guess"

mi? - "I was going to anyway."

mi - "I- uh, I'll show you my room"

mi? - "I don't need you to, I know where it is"

mi - "uhm.. how??"

mi? - "some shit fucked up when you made me and I get almost all your memories, just stay here, when does your bother get home?"

mi - "uh, about 12- 2 maybe"

mi? - "i'll guess 1, bye"

she left the shed, a few seconds later and milan heard a clicking sound, she tried opening the door but couldn't, she looked out the window, passing right though Capa on her way over to It, but she was already gone, only seeing the back door close.

-1:30pm-

milan hadn't slept, instead she cleaned the house, just as she started to not care about a horrific dream she could have, a knock on the door woke her up out of the mer seconds of sleep.

she opened the door, Adrian was at the door, leaning next to the door frame, he expected her to be a little later then she was.

ad - " holy shit you are alive and well,"

mi? - "I wouldn't use well-" -mi-

ad - "yeah, when did you sleep last-"

mi? - "shit, i've been up since 10 last night" -mi-

ad - "dude, at that point just go to sleep, you look like you are about the drop"

mi - " I was until you forgot your keys, you know theres a spare under the doormat" -mi-

ad - "why use a spare when my little sister can just open the door"

at this point they walked together into the living room, where milan was about to sleep, she sat back on the couch and he continued walking to his room. she grunted but got up and went outside, not locking the door behind her. she used the house key, which was the same key for the lock, to open the shed, the real milan was asleep, Capa was sitting next to her and Sombra was still with Tocada in the far back.

she shook her softly,

mi? - "hey.. wake up."

mi - "huh.. what, A-"

she only got the very first part of the scream out before milan covered her mouth while she calmed down

mi? - "I cleaned the house, your brother is home, and say you have been up since 10 if anyone asks."

milan didn't let go of her face so she just nodded 'yes'

[ayamisc]

.:fatigue:.

(c) William Hanna, Joseph Barbera, Warner Bros. Discovery

Tuesday, Aug 21 …that night i slept at 4-ish in the morn.. it tried to finish my AP Bio summer thing.. for the review the next day [or rather… later that day at 3:30pm] but failed. oh well.

Wed & Thurs… same story. if you don't know by now. i'm a procrastinator who doesn't know my priorities.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday.. ..i can't really remember what i did. but all i know is. i was busy doing my bio and english summer work.

Monday, Aug 27 i slept at 3ish in the morn… same story. [and i actually did my work this time.. obviously for the lack of time]

Tuesday, Aug 28 ..i didn't sleep. at all. i did my english essay which was due on midnight. then tried to get ready for school… all the while finishing up 3 questions i left out from my AP Bio review thing. aaaand.. well… the rest was spent reviewing for my AP Bio test the next morning. oh the joys of student life.. so much for the 1st day of school right? i finally lsept after school at 1:30pm i think… then woke up at 7ish.. and did more of my english work that is due the next day.

Wednesday, Aug 29 .. i didn't sleep. coz i thought i had a test on english the next day. well.. there was a scheduled one but we didn't end up taking it. oh well.

Thursday, Aug 30 slept around 4.. yeah.. more work.. well.. i tried to read english.. didn't finish anyway.

Friday, Aug 31 slept at 5.. i tried to read more english. again. didn't finish. and spent 3 hours doing my loooooooong french homework… oh joy.

Saturday, Sept 1 slept at 3ish. ..i slept friday afternoon and couldn't fall asleep. oh well. at 10sih.. i awoke.. or rather.. my mom woke me up since we're going to her high school reunion thing. we left at… 11am.. i slept through the trip. i don't know how long… haha anyhow. when we got there… the weather was… sizzling? and for the most part it was boring i felt like sleeping. around 6ish-7ish.. my mom's classmate's daughter and i went to her room and watched anime until 9:45-10ish.. [Yay! Ate Fatima!] then i read a comic book.. then..well.. had a nap on her bed… ehehehe >> we left at 10:30-11ish… i think. we got home past 12ish.. i slept throughout the trip again. …when we got home.. we had a midnight snack.. watched some tv.. yeah. finally fell asleep at 3ish.

Satuday. September 2 i woke up at 9:20. then i went to community service at 10. i got home at 12. ate some lunch.. when i was in community service, my friend alex called telling me of a pool party at her house. i said i'll try to come. i really did.. but i guess my memory is horrible when i'm tired… i forgot to call… actually.. i even forgot about the pool party when i got home… then slept afterwards… [and since my phone was set in "meeting" i wasn't able to hear alex's and andy's call around 2-3ish..gomen!!!] and i woke up at 6ish for dinner. [at this point. i haven't checked my phone and was still wasn't aware i missed a pool party….] then slept again 10:30pm. and this is where i am now. i just checked my phone. sorry guys.. and at this time.. it was not my habit of not answering my phone.. it's coz i was asleep.. and now.. i have a mild headache for both lack of sleep.. and too much sleep. plans for tomorrow: guess what? i'll probably NOT sleep at all again… why? coz i have a ton of homework to do… yay… ><

ah. the joys of student life, oui?

again. sorry to Mel, Alex, and Andy, for not making it…… [and sorry to whoever was there…blah blah blah]

uhm. and. thank you to Taho coz she tolerated my..uh… deafening silence… hahaha.. jk… thank you Ate! LuvU!

PS. This blog was originally posted on DeviantArt.

[syrinq]

in this dream i'm essentially summoned by elitist discord admins

from 23 september. i had a dream i commented on some forum post online, and was ''summoned'' to the HQ of this forum to discuss said post. this was several towns away, and it took me an hour to get there by bike.

i, for some reason, thought it was a great idea to go to HQ in the evening at 9pm. so i end up there, and a woman tells me about the spiritual meaning, symbolism and colour theory of.. i don't know, what the forum stands for. i practically zone out through it because it sounds like a whole lot of bullshit to me. the woman's sputtering about shit like "ohhh all employees at the HQ here wear circles on their attire because it represents purity and stuff!"

bitch it's a fucking circle

then she proceeds to comment on how i should've addressed my forum post more formally, and my current writing style seems "like i'd say it out loud". and i'm like "bro, this is just a forum post? wtf"

then the other family members of the forum HQ come down, and it's a family that keeps like a bed & breakfast and nail salon business as well. i decide i've had fucking enough of these lunatics and want to go home. but it's 11:30pm and i don't feel great cycling in the dark until 12:30am. my phone then also glitches out and dies on me, so there's another prime reason to not go.

the family patriarch tells me i can stay the night, and offers me his own used toothbrush. gee thanks. i try to sleep in an extremely dusty and dodgy cabin, and i wonder to myself how in the absolute fuck have these people gotten rich from these wack ass businesses. there's a toilet in the middle of the hallways, for fuck's sake

and to make it even better, dream-me has to use the loo in the middle of the night. and the only toilet available is that one in the middle of the hallways. fucking awesome, because the family decided to randomly have a party at fucking 3 o'clock with the smallest budget ever. a carpet that was bought from poundland, probably, offbrand chips, drinks and all

i'm having the worst time of my life and get 0 sleep that night basically. didn't even get to dream about going home the following morning. lame

[fencesandfrogs]

therapy today was...weird.

we talked a bit about my progress with mom.

and then we talked about emdr, and the work i was doing with my anger. i'm trying to forgive myself for some of the ways i lashed out at myself. i'm struggling: i feel like i'm trying to work myself and work with everything. but hey, who says progress has to be in one direction at a time?

we also talked about last night.

i think i'm pretty self-aware. i can intellectually approach a lot of things.

the part who was out last night has a very specific understanding of things, one that's hard to argue with because it sounds reasonable. yes, things are complicated. yes, black and white thinking isn't going to help us.

but they only have a few memories. they don't have a good, whole understanding of what happened. they want to find a middle ground between unequal sides.

i can't get my head around it.

[reidscanehand]

“You cancelled plans for me?”

oops...accidentally made this into a two-parter because I thought this prompt and another suited each other. That one will be out at 12:30pm EST!

~~~

"You canceled plans for me?"

"Hotch," you reply, trying to be as passive as possible as you brush his hair from his forehead, "of course I canceled my plans for you. You collapsed during a round table." You're also in love with him, but that's beside the point.

"But you're meant to have time off right now," he insists again, his voice still far weaker than you're used to, pulling at your heartstrings even more than normal. "You're supposed to be visiting family and resting, not dealing with BAU stuff-"

"This is hardly just BAU stuff, Hotch," you interrupt, taking a firm hold of his hand, your other one still running through his hair. "And I am visiting family."

He smiles slightly, but it's still a tad faltering.

"Besides," you continue, "I'm not meant to visit back home until next week. You didn't interrupt anything but a rather boring lunch alone in my apartment."

He smiles a little more but drops his eyes to your hands. You realize you're clinging to him far more than you usually allow yourself to. You've attempted, anyway, to keep your touches to a minimum since you realized that you are, in fact, in love with your unit chief.

You've attempted to maintain a sense of professionalism, but it's difficult on a daily basis, let alone when Penelope calls to tell you that Hotch collapsed during the round table meeting. You'd arrived at the hospital, half expecting to relieve Beth from the hours of waiting for him to wake up after surgery, but you'd arrived to Hotch asleep alone in his bed. He'd already woken up and Penelope had been waiting for him, but she needed to go back to work and your annual leave left you with a completely clear schedule.

You attempt to pull away your hand, only for Hotch to grip it harder, holding it in place, his other hand coming up to rub a thumb over your knuckles.

"I just wish..." He trails off, still looking at your entwined hands. He takes a deep breath before meeting your eyes, "I just wish you didn't have to waste your time on me."

"Aaron," you emphasize immediately, "you are never a waste of time. Ever. Plus, I told you, I'm spending time with someone I lo-" You cut yourself off, but Hotch's eyebrows snap up as though at full attention.

"I'm spending time with someone I care about a lot," you correct, far too late to fix what you've just said. There's an absolutely dreadful silence.

"Y/N," Hotch whispers, "I care about you a lot, too."

It feels as though a rock has dropped in the base of your stomach. You drop his hand and stand from your seat, keeping your mouth in a tight smile. What a kind rejection, you think. You can feel the tears rising and you don't want to show it, but it's almost impossible.

"Yeah," you rasp, your voice thick with emotion. You turn to look back at the clock behind you, using your newly freed hands to subtly wipe under your eyes. "Hey, I'm gonna go find a nurse, I think it's time to check your vitals."

You start to leave, but Hotch catches your arm, "Y/N, I don't-"

"Hotch, look, I get it, okay? It's not a big deal; I'm just happy you're okay," you breathe, talking way too fast and way too loud. Before he can speak, you've turned on your heel, wrenching your arm from his grasp. You can hear him saying your name, but you can't turn around. Penelope is waiting in the hallway with a coffee for you when you close the door behind you. You release a sob.

"Y/N," Penelope gasps, "what's wrong, sweetheart?"

~~~

to be continued...

Thank you for the request, I hope you like it! Feel free to send me sentence prompts or dialogue requests! xx

[dorkydiaz]

you're not scared of anything at all [922 words | girldads!buddie| fluff] {ao3} @buddiebingo square: kidfic a/n: for @quarantine-anon who requested what happens after Grace Madeline's first day of kindergarten, which then spiraled to include a random morning in High School, and after her college graduation party. Yes I named her bestie Abby on purpose but we'll get into that another time lol. yes grace is queer af cause i said so. title from the best day by taylor swift. enjoy!

Buck wasn't sure what to expect as he pulled into the parking lot at 1:25pm. The morning had been tearfilled as he and Eddie clutched hands and backed out of the classroom as the teacher's aid talked with Grace after about 10 hugs each and promises that they would indeed be back in just a few hours to go home. No they both did not cry their own tears when they got back in the car. Absolutely not. Eddie had to convince Buck that they could not just sit in the parking lot all day.

He waited the 5 minutes, because as much as he wanted to see Grace, he also didn't want to seem too helicoptery. So as soon as the little green clock blinked to 1:30pm, he hopped out of the car. Several other parents do the same and he smiles to himself. They all wait patiently on the walkway outside of the school, and a few minutes later he spots Ms. Sally leading the group of children out the doors.

He spots her before she does, obviously, but still holds back until she sees him. And when she does her face lights up, her blue eyes sparkling in the bright September sun.

"Papa!" she runs to him the rest of the way and he bends down just in time to scoop her up, little backpack and all.

"Hi baby, did you have a good day?" he asks, making his way to Ms. Sally to let her know that they were leaving.

"Where's Daddy?" she responds in lieu of an answer,

Ms. Sally seems to be engrossed in a complex conversation with another parent, but she nods and waves at them which he returns and then turns to the parking lot.

"He was sooo sleepy that he took a nap."

"Silly Daddy. That is my favorite part of kindergarten- no nap time!" Grace babbles as he gets her into the car.

Buck smiles and runs his fingers through her curls, and double checks her seatbelt.

"No nap time!? What did you do with all that extra time?" Buck asks slipping into the driver seat.

"Well we drew pictures and learned about addition, oh and recess! I met a new friend, her name is Abigail- but we call her Abby! And we want to have a playdate, can you talk to her parents?..."

Grace continues to relay her day that he knows he will have to hear at least three more times, but he doesn't care.

They arrive home and Grace is off like a shot through the door, racing to find Eddie or possibly Mr. Noodle, Buck isn't terribly sure who will take precedence.

It turns out it was Eddie because he walks into the living room and the sight to behold is one he will never get tired of. Grace is sitting on Eddie's lap, relaying about her new best friend Abby who apparently has red hair, and Eddie catches Buck's eyes and tilts his head, the question clear, and he just nods.

Grace then slows down and starts to crash from the day, leaning into Eddie, and mumbles, "I missed you Daddy,"

"We missed you too kid, but it sounds like you had so much fun, are you excited to go tomorrow?"

"I have to go again?" Grace asks,

Buck laughs, "Yeah kid, almost everyday for the next 12-16 years,"

"Geez Louise," Grace says, sighing.

✏️✏️11 years later✏️✏️

"Daad, have you seen my braces rubber bands?" Grace calls from the bathroom,

"Yeah they are on the kitchen counter Gracie," Eddie calls from the living room,

"Daddd I told you to stop calling me thaat," Grace huffs walking into the kitchen rolling her eyes,

"Your math homework is on the coffee table, don't forget it." Buck says, "We gotta get going if you want a ride kid."

"Claire and Abby are picking me up today," she says heading for the front door, stuffing the math homework into her bag on her way,

"Okay, have a good day! Love you too," Eddie calls after her,

"Love you Dads," she calls back with a small smile as she shuts the front door.

"Fuck she grew up too fast, she's gonna be in college soon and then we won't see her every day," Buck pouts tears pooling in his eyes, "You think she's ever gonna tell us Claire is her girlfriend?"

"She will when she's ready." Eddie replies, pointedly avoiding the first part of Buck's musings.

✏️✏️5 years later✏️✏️

The house was quiet, soft music leaks in from the backyard where Chris, Abby, and Cal are still spread across the grass talking. There's half a sheet cake sitting on the table, streamers still dangling from the ceiling and Buck walks into the living room, coming upon a common, but less common sight now that Grace had been at college, sight, Eddie's arms wrapped around her, placing a kiss on her temple, the look on his face the same as the day that she was born.

"So how does it feel to be done?" he asks gently,

"Geez Louise," she whistles, "I don't know."

"We are so proud of you," Buck says sitting down next to them,

"I know, you only told me like 100 times today," she says throwing her head back on the couch,

"Hey, we are, neither-"

"Of you guys went. I know," she says, "But both of you know that doesn't determine-"

"Our worth," they finish together, hugging her tightly.

"I love you Dads," she whispers quietly.

"Love you too kid."

[beansie009]

somehow almost a week has passed since my big surgery. which is insane.

my surgery was scheduled tuesday april 19th for noon and was supposed to last for two - two and a half hours. i arrived at the hospital and started prep at 9:00am. my surgeon was scheduled for a surgery prior to mine and that one went longer than expected. i was wheeled out of the prep area and taken to a room near the OR at 12:30pm where I was prepped me with a nerve block, vital monitors, and something to keep me calm though the iv. and then i waited in that room for an hour and half watching friends. when it became clear my surgery would be delayed, they took me back to the prep area.

they had to keep dosing me with stuff to keep me calm because it kept wearing off. my surgery finally started at 3:30pm. i remember being wheeled back and seeing the big overhead light. i remember the oxygen mask being put over my mouth. i don't remember being told to count down.

my surgery lasted two and a half hours. i spent two hours in recovery afterwards before being brought to my room. my surgeon visited me the following day and told me my surgery was a success and that there were no complications. i didn't have any major blood loss, so there were no transfusions. i only had one fibroid, a severely degenerated one about size of a softball or a small grapefruit. since i had only one fibroid, i only have a 10-15% chance of growing another again. i had no cysts. i had no endometriosis. my ovaries are fine. everything else was fine. i have a four inch incision like a cesarean section about three inches below my naval. i have dissolvable stitches inside of me and glue and steri-strips on the outside.

i spent one night in the hospital. the nurses were super nice. i was given the option to go home on wednesday or spend one more night in the hospital. i debated because the drugs in the hospital are better, but i ultimately decided to leave on wednesday. the nerve block was wearing off and the drive home took three hours. the nerve block helped me through most of that. i had major pain in my shoulders after getting into bed when i got home from gas still trapped in my body after surgery. i put a heating pad on it and took gas x, but i mostly just had to ride that out.

every day since has slowly been getting better. my period started immediately after surgery because of course it did, so i had to get up more than i would have liked to those first few days lest i destroy the bed. i think that's helped me in the long run, though. i did the stairs for the first time on friday. i didn't think i'd be able to do that until well into week 2. i walked standing upright and not bent over for the first time yesterday. i even cooked at the stove a little today. (someone had to get the pot for me and fill it with water, but i did the rest!).

i'm definitely not feeling normal yet, but it's incredible that i had major surgery just a week ago. i don't feel like i did. i've only been using prescription strength tylenol and ibuprofen, which is also incredible to me. like...i did the same thing women do when they have c-sections. it's wild. the hospital gave a binder upon discharge, which helped me significantly. i ordered a better one online and it arrived today. so much support. i feel ready to take on the world now.

no way but up from here.