#i didn’t mean to make him look like Matt Mercer it just happened

[queenneso]

I like this slutty lil clown haha

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E121 (Jan. 19, 2021)

Aaaand we're back! The epic pet montage at the start is still the greatest thing ever.

Tonight's guests? Matthew Mercer and Marisha Ray!

We begin with an extensive discussion of waffle farts. As you do.

Matt is asked what it's been like to get to build out the characters in the Tombtakers. Lucien is Matt's favorite, but they've all got some fun traits to them. "It's one of those rare experiences as a dungeon master where you get to watch your players combat with the necessity of playing along. The instinct is: fuck these guys, I want to fight them, we'll take their shit... or I guess we have to play nice. And they begrudgingly grit their teeth and I smile internally."

On the Lucien accent: "You guys are all so mean to Taliesin!" Matt knew his own take would be a "weird mutation" of Mollymauk's accent anyway.

How's Marisha feeling about a lot of her predictions panning out? "Aw, I mean, gee, me? What? Noooo. It's definitely vindicating, I'm not gonna lie, and rewarding, but I also know that I write a lot of shit down in that notebook that's never relevant ever again. It's definitely a good feeling to know that I didn't go on that fifteen-minute deep dive and was utterly wrong about everything I said." Matt: "I was super proud. I was just silently cheering you on as you went on these long tangents."

What does Lucien think of the Mighty Nein? "Lucien is definitely curious about why they're getting involved in his shit and what they're planning alongside them. One, he hates Beau because he doesn't like people who challenge his authority. He gravitates towards Jester to an extent because she's the most open, which from his standpoint makes her easiest to manipulate. He loves toying with curiosity, and so between Jester and Caleb, those are the two people that he's the most comfortable interacting with. Caduceus makes him feel a little weird. He's amused by them. Fjord to Lucien is one of the more guarded and less accessible at the moment."

Is Beau enjoying getting under Lucien's skin? "Beau's picking and poking still kind of stems from her defensiveness and guardedness and her feelings, in a lot of ways, and the way that she's coping with things. It's a few steps removed from her default and what she often resorts to when she starts throwing up those barriers. She still has in the back of her head that she's looking at her dead friend. It's her way of protecting herself if she can go, fuck you, I don't care about you. This isn't too dissimilar to the way she reacted when Yasha was brainwashed." Matt: "It's a unique social sparring match the whole time they're traveling side-by-side. It's unique to have an antagonistic force that you're--" Marisha: "That we're going camping with."

Navigating the Tombtaker/M9 relationship as a DM is "challenging. At any given moment, a wrong statement could escalate matters one way or the other. It's having to pay attention to a lot of things at all points in time to be ready for how those chain reactions can happen and where it might go." He likens it to trying to follow and participate in two different conversations simultaneously at a party.

On the note from Yasha: "Oh man, you guys. Oh, it was so sweet. I don't think Beau was expecting Yasha to be so forthcoming with everything, and so complimentary and eloquent. Beau is awkward with healthy relationships, so she doesn't know how to handle them. She's still processing that and wants to not ruin it. No, it was magical." Ashley told Marisha after the episode that she was trying to think of what to say and wound up basing it on what she would say about Marisha.

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Vax (by stormfeather_cosplay, photograph by travi_b, both on Instagram)!

On using variations on the Wild Magic table: "I wanted to give it some variation to consequences. They took some of the tooth out of it from earlier editions. I knew it would be fun once I gave them the specifications of when these things would happen - players are just waiting for someone to roll a 20 or a 1 at all times."

Why is it so important to Beau that she and Yasha have a proper date? Part of it is a fresh start. "So much of Beau's past relationships have been rooted in some toxic behavior. Beau feels like, well, maybe we should just start from the beginning in the most us way possible: fighting through the tundra with our dead-ish friend."

The sci-fi-ish theme came toward the end of developing Aeor, but it mostly comes from rationalization. Matt is intrigued by how all these different societies want to usurp the gods... which has parallels with modern society. He notes that focusing more on the science of the magic means the aesthetics pull away to "instead facilitate the utility or the most direct route to the answers you want. You streamline as opposed to focusing on the aesthetics."

Beau’s reaction to all the weird magic stuff? “I think Beau’s just so focused on the pragmatic aspects of it all right now. There are greedy people with motives and the will and want to corrupt across all spans of cultures and times. She’s trying not to get lost in the magic, both proverbially and literally, of it all, and just trying to focus on the motives of these people at hand.”

In some ways, Matt was surprised by Caduceus’ strong reaction to the creepy woods. “It was the first major reveal that there are some other sides to the coin that he hadn’t learned about. I had no idea how he would react. It pushed him away more in ways than I expected.”

Fan art of the week: an amazing Lucien! (by oratorkayla on Twitter)

What’s Dagen’s motivation? “He’s definitely a man of his word when it comes to fulfilling a contract and getting the other half of his pay, but it’s not hard to see they’ve grown on him a little bit. He’s really good at getting around the tundra unseen and unnoticed.”

Brian: “In true Sam fashion-” Marisha, instantly: “OH MY GOD.”

Marisha: “Here’s the thing. Here’s the tea, okay? If I ever hear one more fucking person trying to claim that I’m ruining things by metagaming, I’m going to point to Sam. I’m expected to respond accordingly to Veth being a Sam troll. Gods damn him! Raven Queen curse upon him! Let chaos reign! He made me pull out my earphones, I can’t hear anything you’re saying. It’s frustrating because I’d be mad at it if it wasn’t so god damn funny.” Matt notes that at a different table this wouldn’t be great behavior, but they all know each other well enough (and check in with each other enough) that it’s comfortable teasing.

With a bit of a deeper pull, Matt is asked whether he knew Avantika would return someday? “I knew she was a fun, interesting option out there. The M9 still have in their grasp the single most important artifact, in Uk’otoa’s opinion, at the moment. As long as they carry that artifact, his eye of Sauron is upon them.” Matt notes that he has more encounter tables going, so a lot of the time even he’s not sure what’s going to happen.

Caduceus suggested contacting Essek, but Beau and Caleb nixed that idea. Does Beau trust him? “Gods no. Absolutely not. She can like Essek personally. As a person, he’s fine, I guess. But I think a lot of people might be forgetting that he’s kind of a war criminal and kind of set off a lot of bad things in motion with this war with the Empire and the Dynasty, because he wanted power and to know things. So now here he is, also in Aeor. Yeah. Just kinda putting two and two together there. It is another one of those things of, you’re walking that line on trying to keep him on your good side and having a mutually beneficial relationship before it could easily go completely south.”

On the Star Razor being a Vestige: “I don’t want this to be--- the Vestiges aren’t always a thing where it’s like, you get a Vestige and you get a Vestige! I want them to be still considered special and rare. This is one that had to be earned, it had to be reforged. I didn’t know the circumstances that would involve it coming about.” He based it on the circumstances of Fjord’s evolution into a paladin. “In essence, not only did he finish the creation of the sword, but he Awakened it at the same time as he made this transition. It is Exalted at this point, it’s in its final form.”

What does Beau think might lie ahead? “I have no idea. I am trying to abandon expectation when it comes to that. I know what we don’t know, and that’s it. Beau is trying to compensate for the known unknowns and the unknown unknowns. I hope we can keep this tenuous relationship through to Aeor, because we need more answers before it explodes in our face. Beau, and Marisha, is hoping for a little more information before shit hits the fan.”

[austajunk]

thoughts on haiji towa?

Alright, bottoms up. Let’s do this. 

Essentially, I think Haiji is interesting. So let’s get the lolicon thing out of the way first. I think it’s meant to instantly remind you how uncomfortable Haiji is and how while he may have good intentions on his side, there is always something off and detestable about him too just like the kids who murder without discrimination.

Oh gosh, this is so hard to put into words. When we first meet Haiji, he is understandably complacent. He wants to stay still and wait to see how things play of it because he believes this is the best way to keep the adults who managed to make it to the underground the safest. Which… is honestly a well-meaning and genuinely good assumption. But it is cowardly. There is no ifs ands or buts about it. When children are destroying a society because of the shitty treatment from adults and doing it with technology based on your entire corporation, you can’t just sit idly by and hope something comes out in your favor. What about the other adults up on the surface currently suffering? What about the contributions of harm the Towa company have done to countless employees and families in the game files and notes?

So when he said “he likes them as young as possible”, I think it’s a reminder that there will always be an underlying shittiness to society and people like Haiji who are ultimately complacent towards suffering and responsibility. I don’t mean to compare Japanese and American culture, but they are both countries that suffer from a lot of the same ills and corruption and exploitation of minors and “lower class” people. What I mean to say is that “I like them younger” line comes out of nowhere as though Haiji doesn’t even think of it and that it’s just okay to say. This is the environment that Monaca and the other kids have grown up in. It just… makes too much sense.

Past that, like I said, I do think Haiji is interesting in the sense that he does have some good intentions. He’s ultimately ineffective unlike Komaru and Toko and I think he’s meant to be that way. The kids way isn’t right, but his way sure as shit isn’t either.

Side note, do you know how bummed I am that he’s voiced by Matt Mercer? The hottest voice to my ears besides Gundham’s VA?! And he has the exact rough man aesthetic that I fall for too. Fuck my life, I nearly fell for his looks. <.< Thankfully my friend told me about him before I played the game so I didn’t get to lust over him and then be shattered… but even so, he was such a pathetic wet blanket of a man like Toko said, I don’t think that was gonna happen. XD

[a-tired-narwhal]

Tell me more about your feelings about the details of Caleb's backstory!

Okay listen anon. LISTEN. This is going to be LONG. Did I immediately rewatch/go back through the entire wrap up to take notes? YES I DID. Anon I'm sorry this is so late, I didn't see your ask until after the stream. I hope this finds you (*＾3＾)/～♡

----

Caleb fucking Widogast. Liam O'Brien always creates/portrays characters that CAPTURE ME. And it is purely the undertow of SUFFERING that I crave.

As a survivor of an abusive childhood, specifically with manipulation, neglect, and physical trauma, and having a controlling abuser in a position of power over you - I was surprised and delighted by Liam's playing of Caleb, and I'm sure that I'm probably not the only one, but Caleb's backstory just had me nodding along. Was not surprised at all by what was revealed about the blumentrio's relationship being trauma-bonding and probably why I'll never be an avid shipper of them. Nothing about Caleb's backstory left me gasping - because it's a relatively common abuse survivor story, except it's in the world of dungeons and dragons with high fantasy and magic and more common place murdering than today in places where most Critters presumably live.

Let's break it down.

Caleb was born as Bren to a less than well off family, who wanted their child to have a better life than them. Bren is a gifted child, and this will immediately put a bullseye's target on a child's back, make no mistake, for abusive persons. Now, I don't know if it's a pretty obvious that parents would trust in a teaching figure to take their child for that child's betterment, because I don't have parents who wish for my betterment ¯\_(ツ)_/¯, but I like to think that Bren's parents handed him off hoping for his brightest future.

Trent is basically the textbook example of a Cult Leader. Beyond the experimentation he did on his students; everything he put the Blumentrio through is how you beat down and brainwash people, especially children/adolescents. Textbook. TEXTBOOK. It was the dnd equivalent of the Hilter Youth. Now my personal experience featured the tool of isolation, so I didn't have two childhood friends to pour myself into and have threesome's with, but that's actually smart of Ickythong, because when you're left alone with your whirling brain for too long, and there's no one to hold over your head - we start thinking those rebellious thoughts, and at some point we decide we have nothing to lose, and we will do ANYTHING to shake that control. No, he left them in that abandoned tower together so they would be forced to bond with each other, as well as allowing them not to die of exposure alone.

Trauma-bonding CAN be a manipulation and used against you. Now. We have three adolescents trying not to freeze to death by being as close as physically possible. For those that don't know; sharing body heat works best skin to skin - ya get naked and THEN you wrap up together to stay insulated. Awkward groping is going to happen, and it's more than likely accidental. But when you add raging hormones to the mix, yo it's not going to stay accidental for very long (that in no way indicates non consent, it can be either way), and the feelings can catch hard when you're young and physical and EVERY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP YOU HAD HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM YOU, IF YOU EVEN EVER HAD ONE. (I do not know Eadwulf or Astrid's home lives so your guess is as good as mine. We should probably ask Liam)

So you've got horny teenagers, with above average intelligence, being systematically abused... Bam. Trauma-bonded Blumentrio.

BUT HERE'S THE THING. Trauma-bonding can only get you so far. And they are children, actively being raised to NOT HAVE THEIR OWN THOUGHTS AND IDENTITIES. The relationship they built, the romantic and sexual, are based off of a shared hostile environment and survival needs. And when those circumstances are no longer there, the relationship tends to fall apart.

I love that Matt talked about Astrid for a bit, sad we didn't get more on Eadwulf - but Matt didn't really spend a lot of time roleplaying Wulf compared to Astrid, so he'd have more insight into her. I also find it interesting that the Blumentrio took 3 very different, but again SO COMMON, paths in dealing with their abuse. But that's a different rant.

Focus with me now on what Matt said about Astrid. She was actively seeking power throughout the campaign, looking always to climb that ladder to the top, for her own purposes which were not stated, and was willing to do anything, sacrifice anyone, to get that power. Was it a burden to her? Yeah I think so. Did it weigh on her? Again I personally think it did. But she was goal-oriented and she wasn't going to let anything stop her, not even herself, and she hated Trent. Matt implies that all three of the Blumentrio did/do. Astrid, Wulf, and Caleb were wildly different people - I don't think they would have stayed together even if Bren had stayed Bren instead of becoming Caleb.

I know A LOT of people were miffed over how Liam and Matt showed Caleb's and Essek's love for each other; and I am SO glad that Liam touched on this; Essek reminded Caleb too much of Astrid and Eadwulf. Now I know we love to joke that that Redhead Dirt Wizard has a Type (smart, ambitious, vaguely amoral), and believe me I LOVE THE JOKE, but Caleb pumping to brakes on Hot Boi makes THE MOST LOGICAL SENSE AND I WAS SO DELIGHTED WHEN LIAM PLAYED IT THAT WAY. Caleb was still trying to heal himself; WHY THE HELL WOULD HE JUMP INTO A MESS CALLED ESSEK? That's some mf UNHEALTHY, TOXIC romance trope ya got there. People fix themselves, not each other. THAT'S WHY CANON SHADOWGAST IS SO GOOD. THEY ARE WORKING TO IMPROVE THEMSELVES FIRST. THAT'S SO HOT.

Ahem.

So the Blumentrio hangout in Astrid's room to sex and study, in threes and twos (I have weird polyam questions, Liam). Now, I'm foggy on the exact timeframe that was together at Academy > kill your parents > Bren is chucked into the Sanitarium; but it's clear that after the murdering of parents, Bren is tagged as the "weakest link" - maybe he broke because he actually loved his family/had a loving family, maybe the manipulation spell from Ickythong didn't sit on him as well as Astrid and Wulf, maybe boi wasn't made for killing (a lie, the boi is a total killer, you have to be in most dnd campaigns), who knows. But he broke, and Astrid and Wulf handed him over - it would be dangerous for them if they tried too hard to protect him.

Because in that environment, in those circumstances, in that set up; you do what you have to, to survive. You hurt people you love, you hurt people you don't know, you even hurt yourself if it means improving your own odds. It's instinct. It's not your fault. You are doing the best you can with what you have available.

I don't hate Astrid and Eadwulf; I just have more emotional attachment and investment in Caleb, and prefer the color purple on him.

Which is actually a great segue into THE WOMAN AT THE SANITARIUM WHO FREED HIS MIND; Matt Mercer you beautiful man, thank you for giving us a Moonweaver connection, my lil widomauk heart was sent aflutter! So, here's the thing. Places like that, sanitariums, psych wards, etc - if you are not certifiably insane before you go in, you will be eventually. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest is not a fucking joke. But the thought of some forgotten Moonweaver Cleric recognizing Bren's torment and just, poof, dissolving that spell? *Chef's kiss* glorious, wonderful, everything I needed.

Anon, I don't know if this is what you wanted or expected - but here it is, my sincerest apologies 🐳

[khadij-al-kubra]

Storytelling, Fate & Happy Endings

I’m still processing last nights episode (CR C2 Ep140), and much like every critter I’m SUPER emotional about it. But something about last night’s events and how they played out really got to me, not just as a fan but also as a storyteller. And even the day after, i was actually crying (still am crying in fact) more than i did last night watching it happen. At first i thought it was because i’m a fairly new critter and this is my first time watching a campaign come to an end. But the more i think about it and process, the more i realize that’s not just it. This effected me as someone who deeply believes in the power of storytelling and how it can not only effect but reflect the world around us. And because I have to get them out of my head, here are my thoughts on why last nights episode was so important, not just for CR fans but also as a an important narrative for right now.

...Yeah that’s a bit vague, isn’t it? Okay, let me explain. If you’re willing to take the time to read fellow Critters, I greatly appreciate it in advance. ^__^

WARNING: Major spoilers for CR Campaign 2 Episode 140 ahead. Also it’s gonna get kind of meta. And long. Because i have a lot of thoughts & feels.

So I think it’s fair to say that, as much as we would’ve been devastated by any of the M9 perma-dying in the last battle, part of us wasn’t expecting them all to make it out of there alive. Not even the players, I think, despite how much they likely didn’t want that to happen. Just look at the half-resigned way Liam talks about Caleb in the last few Talks Machina episodes. Or how, in game, Jester was fully prepare to die trying to stop the city from coming back. And for a while there, it seemed like some of them might not survive.

But then they did. Despite so many crappy rolls throughout the night they stopped Lucien, set free all the souls trapped in Aeor, saved Exandria, and brought each other back from the dead. Not only that, but they also did the impossible: They saved Mollymauk. Their lost friend who had such a deep impact on all of them even after his death. The delightfully charming asshole who was so full of joy and life and who, despite how the world treated him, was happily determined to leave every place better than he found it. Moreover, they almost didn’t succeed! But then they did, all because of teamwork, love and one last minute ditch effort ‘what-the-hell-have-i-got-to-lose’ dice role that none of them saw coming. And now they get to go home together, truly as The Mighty NINE.

Just this once, everybody lived! We got a happy ending!

And that’s HUGE in game...but also think for a second how that reflects outside of game too. Do you realize what a story like that means to people, especially given the year from Hell we’ve all had?

Think about it. This past year the world has suffered. We’ve all been impacted by the pandemic in some way shape or form, either on small levels or large. Our world has been at war with a virus that effected everyone and everything: Our sense of safety. Our health. Our economy. Our families & friends. Our freedom. (in the sense of our ability to travel & just be in close proximity to people without fear, but i digress) Deeply imbedded social and systematic diseases have been brought further to light in the past year and a half largely because of this virus. Some of us have lost people we love. Hell, the pandemic even effected the way that the latter half of Campaign 2 played out because of social distancing protocols. If you further compare this to Campaign 2, the world of Exandria was caught in the middle of a war that started because of social & systematic corruptions that had been rooted in two opposing kingdoms for years. And so many suffered and died because of it.

Then the Mighty Nein comes in. This ragtag group of delightful assholes with nothing to lose; these flawed but inherently good at heart and deeply human adventurers, broken and lost in their own ways, trying to make a home and family for themselves in a world that took advantage of them or left them alone or said they weren’t good enough...and they changed things. 

They grew. They fought back. They found moments of silliness and peace and joy and fun amidst all the strife and sometimes grief. Most of all, they tried. Sometimes out of necessity, sometimes out of spite, sometimes even out of compassion, but mostly just out of love. And in the end, not only did they help people and stop a war for the sake of their loved ones, but they also saved their world from being destroyed by a rotted perversion of life from the past that threatened to consume everything they cared about. AND they STILL managed to bring everyone in their found family back to life. Does it erase the bad and sad things that happened to them? Hell no! But those things don’t negate the fact that in that moment, they made it out okay. That this was a victory and they won!

Think of what a story like that means to people right now.

I’m personally a pretty spiritual person, and much like our favorite clerics, I also believe in a higher power. But whether or not you also believe in a Divine being, the Universe or whatever, every D&D player believes in one thing: Fate. Luck. Call it what you will. But it was fate that made those dice rolls that saved everyone happen. It was fate that not only stopped Cognoza from returning, but also brought Jester and Caleb and Molly back to life, even when it seemed like it wouldn’t work. (and holy shit that gave me emotional whiplash!) 

After everything they went through, both individually and together, the Mighty Nein defied the odd and demanded that Fate let them save their loved ones. They demanded that the world give them back their friend; That they deserved to have their happy ending & get to go home alive together. Just. This. Once.

As a writer, I know firsthand that there are some stories we find and create ourselves, but then there are stories that have a way of finding us. Sometimes a story or world or character from somewhere in the Aether will pop into our minds one day and say, ‘I need your voice to tell my story.’ Maybe this is just me getting carried away with the meta brain again. And like i said, i’m a spiritually inclined person, so I believe in things like Fate and a Divine Higher power writing out the stories of the Multiverse. If you’re reading this (and thank you for taking the time to do so) maybe you do too. Or maybe you don’t. Either way, if you’re a fellow critter, then you’re clearly a fan of good stories and/or playing Dungeons & Dragons. So you know how fate/dice roles have a big impact on the outcome of a story, regardless of how tightly written a setup the dungeon master makes. Given all that and how organically stories tend to play out in D&D, I genuinely believe that Matt Mercer and the whole CR Team were meant to be conduits for a story where the flawed heroes save the world AND all make it home alive.

And I think Fate knew that we needed last nights battle to end like this. After all the crap we’ve been through this past year, we needed this happy ending, deserved it even! Not just us critters, the CR team too. As much as we all like to joke that Campaign 2 was secretly scripted, we all know that’s not true. Yes, the setup storyline and world were brilliantly crafted by Matt, and the character roleplaying is beautifully acted out by the team. But the twists and turns, the direction it goes, and how the game plays out is all up to fated dice rolls just like any other game. And something, some kind of force of luck, some force of fate, some Universal Divine DM out there made the roles happen the way they did last night.

It gave us a happy ending.

I believe that this was meant to happen; now of all times with everything else going on in the world. Amidst all this darkness and rot, both in game and in the real world, in the end of it all there was light and life. A reminder that sometimes people do live. They do get second chances. They do find a new family or reunite with old ones. That sometimes the world can be saved for a time, and happy ending do still exist. Even if it’s not broadcasted on the daily news amidst tragedy reports, or even tragedies that don’t get reported (which sadly are a lot, but again i digress).

Because the thing is, like Beau said, no one else will probably know they were heroes. No one will know what the Mighty Nein sacrificed to save all of Exandria. But they don’t need to know that for it to still be true, for life to happen again, and for a found family of nine broken people who love each other to go home together safe. It doesn’t invalidate that the good things happened. That at least for today everyone was saved. That flawed people were still able to do good because they tried. That they left the world better than they found it and got their own small but satisfying happy ending. Even if only for now, because we don’t know what’s gonna happen next Thursday. We don’t know what the future will hold for the Nein or Exandria when the Campaign ends or even when (hopefully) some loose ends will be tied up in later oneshots. But neither that nor the bad and sad stuff that happened beforehand in the game and in the character’s lives invalidates the fact that tonight they won. They lived.

So why can’t that be true for us in the real world?

I said earlier that, as a writer, I believe in the power stories have to not only reflect but also shape our world. This story is an example of why, but especially this episode, and that’s why i was so euphoric about the outcome. It wasn’t just a game for me, and i’m sure for others too. It was a much needed reminder that happy endings can still happen in real life, just as much as they can in stories. Even when everything seems dark and corrupt and rotten and hopeless, we can still keep fighting. We can keep trying. We can make new families and start over and be heroes in our on little lives in small ways. 

We can leave the world better than we found it. 

And maybe, with hard work, imagination, luck and a little Divine intervention...we can also get the happy endings we deserve.

[cadaceus]

C2E140

Hello, everyone, and welcome to my liveblogs/emotional breakdown over Campaign 2, Episode 140 of Critical Role. This was genuinely an emotional rollercoaster, and I feel so much and yet so empty at the same time? These are genuinely my longest liveblogs ever (I had a lot of emotional reactions and things to say!) so feel free to grab some snacks or water before diving into this one. Spoilers ahead, of course, so pretty please proceed with caution!

- I’m emotional thinking about this very possibly being the Mighty Nein’s last Initiative ever...

- THAT NEW LUCIEN MINI DFVGDHJKLD WHAT THE 

- Essek tied for first in Initiative let’s go babeyyyyy I’m so proud

- THE VISION OF ZUALA  😭 😭 I DON’T WANT TO DO THIS I’M SAD

- The Eyes get their turn??? Oh my god

- Ashley’s aggressive “don’t you fcking dare” when the eyes point at Beau me too, me too

- Whoaaa Caleb’s Glaive method was so interesting, I can’t believe that worked!

- STOP ATTACKING ESSEK SDFGHSJK IF HE GETS NINE EYES AND TURNS AGAINST THEM OR SOMETHING I WILL THROW A FIT

- “Veth keep your clothes on... I will cast Marine Layer” FJORD LMAOOO

- I will turn into the “leave Brittany alone” person but make it “leave Essek alone” WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN TO HIM

- six attacks versus Veth... ruh roh raggy

- Yasha attacking Zuala makes me so saddd 

- NOOO Cad... idk why that is the one that made me tear up, but just the image of his family beckoning for him in this city of terror is making me emotional 😭

- “That’s my child’s mother...” LMAO TRAVIS

- I genuinely just copied their “shaking weights” motion in real life adhjkdlf let’s goooo Essek!! 

- VETH IS DOWN.... GOD THIS IS MAKING ME SO SAD DO NOT KILL VETH PLEASE

- “He’s gone... let him go...” oof okay that one hurt me

- Jester was so close to getting that Divine Intervention... that was almost so clutch aahhh

- why is fjord’s method of persuasion to molly just flirting with them LMAO okay king...

- “’Remember the fruit salad?’” Fjord/Travis looks so embarrassed, WHAT IS FRUIT SALAD SIR PLEASE SHARE WITH THE CLASS

- Essek actually succeeding on a Strength check to get Caleb free despite being a weak ass wizard, and then Caleb pressing his forehead against Essek’s in thanks... yes I’m soft I can’t do this, my emotions are kaput

- TWO NATURAL 20S AGAINST JESTER.....

- Jester being insta dead. I am not doing okay. Like literally about to start crying, I was not expecting it to happen that quickly or at all, she’s just so full of life and if Cad doesn’t save her.... I’m just so upset by this 😭

- One of the “Happy Thoughts” on Sam’s flask being “Luc all grown up” is so precious to me personally

- CAD BELOW 20 HP --> CAD GOING DOWN ---> CAD UP AGAIN WAS SUHC A EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER OH MY GOD

- Did Molly just scratch Lucien’s face??? Oh my god...  😭

- MATT YOU NEARLY MADE ME PANIC WITH THAT SENTENCE SFGDJKLD THAT WAS CRUEL I WAS ON THE VERGE OF TEARS ALREADY AND THAT ALMOST DID ME OVER

- Both clerics at 1 hit point.... everything is fine :) (scared version)

- CALEB WENT DOWN I AM NOT DOING WELL EVERYONE..... THIS IS SO FREAKING ROUGH 

- Jester clutch healer, not even joking, I’m so grateful for her

- I can’t believe that it’s been three hours with no break, I need to make a mug brownie to calm myself down, free us Matt Mercer (mostly /j)

- BEAU ROLLING TWO NATURAL 20S ON HER ATTACK WITH MOLLY’S BELT AROUND HER FISTS OH MY GOD POETIC CINEMA.... THE DICE GODS ARE REAL!!!!

- Essek using his eighth level spell on Lucien after he sees Caleb go down...... MY LOVE (also I wonder what he had been saving his eighth level for, since Matt said he was saving it?)

- WAIT IS CALEB DOWN OR IS HE LIKE DEAD

- okay. just got my answer. i am not doing fine.

- HOW DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS DSBJKDASL;KDSJKFDK JESTER YES JESTER YES..... OH MY GOD SHE DID IT I LOVE HER SO MUCH I’M SO EMO I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS

- Break? What do you mean BREAK? time to make that emotional support mug brownie though.....

- Caleb’s alive! He’s safe! Thank all of the gods!

- Yasha kissing each spot on Beau’s body where the eyes were... I love them so much.

- Uh oh, Caleb is going to try to revivify Lucien/Molly isn’t he? I know it... I know he is... but sometimes you have to let people go :(

- “Once you’re a member of the Mighty Nein, you’re in” oh no I’m going to cry then.... aahh

- Jester rolling a Natural 20 because she has such a good imagination is so fitting! I love her so dearly

- Beau’s appeal is going to get to me... I know it already.

- THAT NATURAL ONE HURT ME... I didn’t want Molly to come back (because sometimes it is time and they died saving the people they loved) but it still hurts, you know? To not get Molly back.

- ASHLEY;S VOICE BROKE ME... damn I was holding in my tears, but her voice when she said “there’s nothing else to do?” really got to me

- Molly being laid to rest at the Blooming Grove is so poetic, I love that

- Essek’s voice is going to get to me.... also Fjord’s “use your anger and let it fuel you” makes me think that he is speaking to his own younger self... GOD Fjord is going to make me cry

- When he said “Caleb Widogast, have you ever accepted defeat?” I was unironically waiting for a love confession

- WAIT NO WAY..... HOLY SHIT???

- DID CADUCEUS JUST ROLL A 2 PERCENT.... WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING 

- Marisha talking about the “emotional whiplash” no LITERALLY Ms Ray I understand you

- MOLLY IS BACK?????

- Matt turning to Taliesin and saying “Your eyes open for the first time in a long time” oh my god.......

- Empty. Love.

- Molly turning to Yasha and saying “Love” is so precious, I love and missed their friendship so so much

- I know I wasn’t sold on Molly coming back, but honestly this is very fitting and I love it a lot. It makes me so emotional, dear god... all of the Mighty Nein together for the first time literally ever. 😭

- “Long May He Reign” is trending on Twitter right now. I think you all know why.

- Wow, I genuinely didn’t cry this entire episode but the second is ended something in me just broke. I feel a bit speechless right now and my emotions are all over the place, but if you read all of these liveblogs please know that you are loved and valued more than you could possibly know. I love you, I love you, I love you; and is it Thursday yet? 

<3

[grimmywrites]

So, about Infinite Darkness...

I’m gonna try to be as succinct as I can (I failed) about all the problems I had with it, but my list is pretty long... Yes, this has spoilers. Let me state upfront: if you’re not a hardcore RE fan, you can skip the show. Below I’ll tell you why.

Story: What a mess. Honestly, they turned me off right at the beginning with all the military stuff. It’s the same reason people didn’t like Chris’ campaign in 6; didn’t they learn anything from that? So, the story wasn’t the best thing I’ve ever seen. Honestly, it had more plot holes than anything and so many points where I went: “I don’t care about this.” Again, it was a jumbled mess. Capcom, hire me and I’ll do better, I swear. Let’s just sum it up by saying it’s a rehash of things we’ve seen SEVERAL times in the series before. If you’re gonna do it AGAIN let’s make the story unique and interesting. Oh, there are shady people in the military that want to use bioweapons in war? Okay, we’ve known that since the first game. We’ve seen it time and time again. Look to re8′s ending for example: the BSAA are now starting to use engineered soldiers - THAT was a reveal that was far more interesting. The way it was addressed and overcome in this show was just... so lackluster. Ultimately, it just felt like this entire thing didn’t need to happen. It changed nothing, it impacted nothing, and I’m aware that it really couldn’t since it was after re4 and before re5. There was just no lasting point and all the ‘themes’ (if you can call them that) made absolutely no sense, but I guess I’ll get into that with the characters? Pacing: Absolutely god awful. One minute we’re in the White House fighting zombies then I blink and it’s over and I’m like: Oh, we’re done? Another we’re in a sub and then I blink. Oh, that’s over, too. Also, the creators must’ve taken a page from the last couple of seasons of Game of Thrones (which is an abysmal idea, don’t fucking do that) because with a few cuts here and there we went from Guam to China back to DC. Guess everybody learned how to teleport so they got exactly where we needed them to for the “climax”. Let’s talk about that climax: There was none. Let’s look at Degeneration and Damnation (no I won’t talk about Vendetta). Both had their weaknesses but Leon and the climaxes were BADASS. Leon doing parkour in Degeneration? Leon going against Lickers and the huge Tyrants in Damnation? Those were amazing scenes. He did a few cool things here and there but nothing that got more of a laugh out of me. My man is coming off re4 where he rampaged through a village, a castle, and an island of mutated creatures to save one girl. C’mon now. Characters: By now (if anybody is even reading this rant), you’ve noticed that I’ve talked a lot about Leon. But what about Claire? Yeah, they lied to us about them working together. She got sidelined again. A lot of people are upset about this -- and yeah, it sucks because I do love Claire. Leon has just happened to be my favorite since 1998 so I wasn’t as heartbroken. That doesn’t mean I’m not disappointed, I’m just not very surprised. Leon - My main problem with Leon is Nick, his voice actor. I’m so sorry for all those who like him, but he just isn’t good enough for me. Paul Mercier (re4, Degeneration, Darkside Chronicles) and Matt Mercer (Damnation, Re6, Vendetta) would have been more appropriate. Nick tries his best, but he’s just too soft sounding to be post-re4 Leon. This is a man who is quipping one-liners left and right a couple of years ago. Now he’s barely smiling and doesn’t feel confident at all, and I think a lot of that is because of his portrayal. There are times where the lines hit, but more often than not they fall flat. I never felt that way with Paul who is my favorite Leon or Matt who gave emotional performances every time. Also, his decision at the end? I can understand it, but explain to Claire! Claire - I like Stephanie as Claire, I have no problems with her. She makes her sound tough and ready to do what she thinks is right. Unfortunately, the story completely sidelines her and makes her role obsolete. Everything she uncovers (because that’s her role apparently, just there to Nancy Drew) is already told to us through flashbacks and other characters. Why even have her? Was it just to show us WHY her and Leon don’t talk often? A waste. Shen Mei - I don’t care. I felt nothing for her. They tried really hard, but they just failed to flesh these new characters out and when her time was up I once again went: Oh? That’s it, then. ‘Kay. I think I laughed a bit, sorry girl. Her whole plotline was to get that chip in Leon’s hand, nothing more. Jason -  I don’t care. A character I thought I felt sorry for with his ptsd but nope. Once his story unfolded - messily, I might add (I hate the REPEATED flashback shit. Tell me once and stop teasing me.) I just went... okay, what the hell is your plan? To spread fear? ‘Kay. It was dumb and made no sense. What, he wants everyone to feel terror so they know? It needed to be clarified. It’s like they couldn’t figure out more synonyms for fear and terror. So, what? It helps keep Leon from going public with the chip and that information? Because he knows it’ll just cause mass hysteria? And then you’ve got Claire’s side - she’s not an agent and she believes the people have a right to know. They’re both right, but there’s no goddamn communication between ANYONE in this show. I just felt exhausted by it, nothing else. Not to mention it’s useless angst because of the plot of Degeneration. Wilson - Our bad guy. Let’s just sum up really quickly in case people were confused by the plot: He was putting infected soldiers into war zones so that even after they died they’d kill anybody involved, then he’d bomb the area and clean up the evidence. These soldiers didn’t show any symptoms because they had inhibitors that kept the virus at bay until they died, so they had to take regular shots to stay human. He’s the one who gets the zombies into the white house so that he could blame it on China and get the US into a war with them. That way he could send in his soldiers and infect the populace. From there, he’s the only one with the cure so he could rake in LOTS of money selling it to the world. AKA: he wants to use the US military to infect everyone so he can make a profit. He gets infected by Jason and gets away... then meets up with someone who gives him an inhibitor. This someone is working for Tricell, the big bads of re5 who work under Wesker. So it leads right into the fifth game. That’s all he is, a tie in and yet another example of someone in power trying to profit off the viruses of the RE world. Honestly, nobody else is worth mentioning. Animation: They’re getting better at it. Leon and Claire looked especially pretty, but there’s still a stiffness here and an issue with everyone’s mouths while they talk. I want to praise how different SOME of the characters look - the president and his aides all look appropriately aged and grizzled and distinct. Same with Jason. Other characters (side characters mainly) kinda look generic. Shen Mei for example isn’t very distinct. I mean, her grandpa and brother (both one scene wonders) were more realistic looking than she was. Even Claire - they gave her a bigger nose and made her look more in line with her Revelations 2 model (thank god I love that model). Movement was pretty fluid, I wish we’d seen more fighting and cool action -- though not to the extent of Vendetta. Maybe that’s what they were trying to avoid, but it didn’t make it any fun to watch. Enemies: This is the last thing I’ll comment on. The zombies were fine - they always are. I heard a ton of reused sounds from remake2, as well, but I thought of it as an Easter Egg more than anything. They looked good, their gore was good, all set there. Problem was, they were basically the only bad guys. That’s a huge fucking disappointment. I know people recognize this series as ‘the one with the zombies’ but that’s not true. Every game (save 7) had MULTIPLE enemy types all created through bio engineering. In this show we see three types. THREE. Zombies. Zombie rats - a one-scene wonder that Leon dispatches fast and easy. I’ll admit, they looked cool but there was nothing else to them. “They’re a bioweapon” and then Leon fries them all with some electricity and we’re done. Jason’s mutated form. Okay, I have to admit, I really loved his design. He was cool, I liked that he could talk and emote. But, other than that? He didn’t DO anything cool. He mutated once and hopped around a lot. That’s it. I mean, a bioweapon that keeps his mental capacities? C’MON! We could’ve done so much more with him. Again, this goes back to why the climax was so bad -- he and Leon didn’t fight. One jumped, the other ran around to catch up and fired a few bullets and a rocket at him. Then he used an acid bath to finish the job. (Also, explain to me WHY he mutated into a tyrant-like creature while everyone else with that specific virus was another form of zombie? We see Jun (Shen’s brother) mutating almost crystal-like at one point but... what? You leave them off for a while and they turn into crystal zombies? Make it make sense.) I’m sure there’s more to say, but honestly, unless you’re a hardcore RE fan like me, I’d say you can skip it. It wasn’t a fun ride, there weren’t any stakes, it wasn’t emotional... it just... was. I will end on one good note that made me smile, though: I loved seeing the Ashley Easter Egg.

[princessamericachavez]

Little Fjorester things from ep 115

I KNOW THEY WERE LITTLE BUT LET ME ENJOY THE CRUMBS WE GET BECAUSE THEY ARE STILL ADORABLE LIKE PLS:

Jester giving Fjord her sketchbook?

Like, that’s basically her diary and the way she worship(ed) the traveler and there’s probably so many personal things in there

AND YOU’RE TELLING ME IT’S IN HIS POSSESSION RIGHT NOW?

He said he shoved it into his pocket after Daggen’s awful sketch but like

will Travis remember he has it?? (probably not)

Did he see anything as he passed the pages to find a blank page? (yes pls lemme dream) 

JUST LOOK AT THEM

It’s like she’s giving him a little piece of herself and he’s so happy to accept it, I’m-

“What if they turn into turtles or something?? Fjord, that would be your nightmare!” 

LMFAO THE BANTER I CAN’T DJAFÑAJD

“Some creatures hunt for sport here.”

Jester: “The animals?”

Fjord (softly): “I don’t think he’s talking about animals.”

LOOK AT HIS FACE HE’S SO SOOOOOOFT

Jester: “Oh... the monsters. Right.”

“What if it starts like just a physical thing but then slowly over the week’s that you’re guiding them you start to realize, like, ‘oh my gos, I think I might t have feelings for them but I can’t let them know because there’s an unwritten code’ and it gets awkward and then the long glances”

[...] “And then you have to pretend, you have to pretend for the rest of your life that it didn’t mean anything!”

YEAH

YOU KNOW WHAT

YOU KNOW WHAT LAURA BAILEY

YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO COME FOR ME (and your hubby) LIKE THAT

okay okay okay moving on

listen 

THE SCRY

like the way he starts all casual and curious fjord because that’s how he usually is and trying to be all coy about it but then Matt Mercer blesses us by specifying it’s only a couple feet away from Jester

And you can see the moment it CLICKS’s for Fjord that this orb is scrying on Jester

AND DAMN FJORD JUST FREEZES LIKE THIS FOR A SOLID FIVE SECONDS 

AND JUST GIVES A LITTLE ‘HMM’ AND THE SMALLEST NOD

AS HE REALIZES

DLKFJAÑDKLFJA

FJORD GOING INTO PROTECTIVE MODE YESSSSSS

And That’s when he actually walks straight to the thing, still pretending not to see it

and he steps next to it and does this sharp breath as he turns to look at Jester

Right before he drops that bomb 

“It seems like we’re not the only ones watching. If you try to hurt my friends I will hunt you down to the ends of the earth. Keep. Your. Distance.”

I’M SO SAD THAT LUCIEN PROBABLY DIDN’T HEAR THAT 

LISTEN

MATT

PLS JUST BEND THE RULES FOR ME

GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

still *breaths in and out* okay it’s fine because he still said that, still meant it, so it’s fineeee

AND THE WAY HE TELLS HER

Trying to soften the blow, clearly, because he doesn’t want to make her anxious

“But, Jester, it was located where you were. Perhaps it’s the Gentleman or perhaps it’s...”

“I don’t think he can do it.”

And then Veth suggests Lucien knows Jester now because of the scrying spell and he’s immediately like “Does Lucien know her now, though, because of the scrying spell?”

“Fjord, if that happens again, just wake me up. I can dispel it.”

IDK THEIR QUIET LOOKS 

LOOK AT THEM

And then Fjord and Caduceus bring up the possibility that Lucien could properly see Jester and not just a ‘scrying ball’ 

And she’s clearly distressed by it

So Jester does what Jester does and jokes about how she might have looked like inside the ball

And Fjord plays along, sort of, saying her mouth was open when she slept which is definitely an attempt to cheer her up

“You were sleeping with your mouth open, if it’s any consolation.”

And it works because it’s funny and just LOOK AT THEM

HE’S SO PROUD THAT HE MADE HER SMILE AT LEAST A LITTLE

every time 

im just

The way they always focus on each other during group chaos

like how she’s so offended that fjord suggests yasha use her sword to dispel the necromantic stone

“I can dispel it! I have dispel!”

“Oh, right!”

LMFAO LOOK AT THIS DUMMIES 

(also some side delicious Beauyasha with Beau yelling “i am not having yasha walk up and hit it with her sword!)

okay and then, of course, Jester wants to pull a prank pointing people towards the Emerald 

and first when Caleb tries to disuade her because “that’s murder” she snaps back “well they should be smarter than that” (lol meaning Caleb)

but then Fjord says “it’s a bit much” and says he would’ve gone for it if he’d seen her sign and her immediate response is so much softer like-

And then by the end, after they both try to convince her...

they share this super long glance and he quietly says “leave it?” and she finally gives in 

BECAUSE SHE TRUSTS HIS JUDGEMENT THE MOST OK???

SHE DOES

AND HE’S USUALLY DOWN FOR SHENANIGANS EXCEPT IF SOMEONE COULD GET HURT

AND HE KNOWS SHE DOESN’T WANT PEOPLE TO GET HURT

BECAUSE, LIKE HE SAID IN RUMBLECUSP, HE KNOWS SHE CARES

OK OK OK OK

look listen this is ooc but also not so hear me out

so they went to break before the yeti attack right?

and jester and fjord were both inside of the net

and then Yasha helps Jester out of it 

but Travis is still super stressed and looking at his spells 

AND I’M PRETTY SURE HE WAS PLANING ON HOW TO GET THEM BOTH OUT WITH A SPELL OR SOMETHING

(they probably planned it on the break???) 

because Laura turns to Travis and she’s like “did you hear that? I just got free of the net” and his whole body language relaxes like “oh, good... wait how” 

anyway

YES HE WAS GOING TO GET HER OUT YOU CAN’T CHANGE MY MIND

and then and then and then

before they realized Fjord had advantage to get out of the net

they were planning for him to shoot eldritch blast

and then jester was going to hold the net up for him

LISTEN 

i choose to imagine this conversation happened during battle ok?

you can’t stop me

and speaking about fjorester being protective of each other

Lucien messages Jester

and a) travis just drops the thing he’s looking at which is hilarious, b) fjord does not look happy when jester tells them, but not in an angry way but in a *hundred yards stare i’m gonna kill that fucker* kinda thing

Fjord, after noticing another scrying orb: Oh, yes... they seem to be locked on you again. 

Jester: *fails to dispel it*

Jester: Is it gone?

Fjord, looking at it: Yes.

Fjord: You got it. 

Jester: Really? Oh my gosh! I’m so good at this!

LOOK AT THAT SMILE OKAY HE IS SO IN LOVE I CAN’T

OKAY FIRST OF ALL

THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND LIE FJORD HAS EVER TOLD JESTER AND THAT FUCKS ME UP OKAY?

BUT ALSO 

he’s just trying to ease her mind 

she’s clearly upset what with lucien being able to see her, scrying on her and now messaging her... she’s annoyed and pissed and —scared—

so Fjord, going back to his protective mode, lies to ease her mind

if there’s nothing they can do about the scrying right now, at least he can make her feel like she got back at the fucker who dispelled her before

okay that’s all

tune in next week (maybe) for more yelling

who’s excited for tonight?

[nostalgic-pancakes]

F is for friends who do stuff together - the awake at 2 AM remix

Joan needs a swear jar, Talyn's a lightbulb, Valerie is tired and valid, and Thomas+Sides are very confused)

Summary- Thomas has had his sides around for... a long time. That's for sure. And he knows that nobody else can see them (except maybe Lilly, but she has sides too, so).

Pairings- Pintroverts, Thomas and friends, Thomas and Sides

Read on AO3

Word count- 2666

Warnings- It has character!everyone, and NOT their real life counterparts. Please remember this.

Other notes- AU where instead of Vine, c!Thomas left chemical engineering for signing with a really dope theatre company with his friends. He still meets Nico at the mall, but Nico's a new writer for the company! All the sides are friends too! Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Look, the first time was an accident, okay? Joan was tired and a bit incoherent and what was Thomas supposed to do?!! Leave them be? No! So Joan ended up staying the night.

Except, the next morning was when everyone had entered the courtroom together and they'd gotten WAY too dramatic over whether to lie to them about a text they'd made like… two days ago and that Thomas had only seen after combing through a barrage of memes and that Joan probably wouldn't remember, come to think about it. But that was hindsight and after the utter nightmare that was a whole day (A whole day!!) with Aunt Patty the day before, Virgil and Patton were absolutely freaking out, probably giving Deceit (Who, in hindsight, Thomas knows as Janus) a little extra leeway into the conversation that day.

Either way, Joan had stayed the night in order to recover from the utter sleep-deprivation that they'd been going through, and Thomas had forgotten about the fact that Joan was even there for most of the morning, only seeing them after the entire courtroom spectacle (and a suspiciously dire warning from Virgil) at breakfast, and them leaving to see Talyn a little after (with plenty of hugs involved, duh).

Then Thomas told Joan the truth over the call, and Joan had said The Line (as Roman, Virgil and Janus call it with an oddly cryptid-like voice) and Thomas felt himself go frigid.

Since when did Joan know that Thomas talked to his sides?! Had they learned their names? Figured out that Thomas might just have a few extra screws loose than they might have initially thought?

"Maybe they even hate us now because we got so crazed over one little text and--”

“Virgil. Not helping!” Thomas yelps, and Virgil catches himself in his spiel of worst case scenarios, looking a bit sheepish. Patton and Thomas smile at him reassuringly (he hopes) and Logan clears his throat, causing everyone to turn to him.

“Well, Joan seems to be aware enough of the fact that you speak to us, but mostly considers it as you, as they had said, ‘talking to yourself’, and besides, you didn’t name-drop us too many times, anyways. And while it’s not really...ideal, that Joan thinks you talk to yourself for this long-”

“You can say that again, Stephen Hawk-Nerd”, murmured Roman. Logan winces, and Thomas kind of wants to hug him, so he does.

“Yes, Roman, and as bad as that nickname is, note that this is not, in fact a worst-case scenario. This can be put down to the fact that Thomas has some strange personality quirks-”

“Did you just do some wordplay there, kiddo?” Patton beams at the implication, while Logan, currently being shared by Thomas and Virgil, just groans and descends further into the contact.

“No, I did not, Patton, but what I am saying, is that this is not too bad. We can talk about it as a general personality quirk. This is fine.” Logan finishes, and becomes a heap in the total hug-pile of Thomas and Virgil, flopping over. Huh, he (as usual) has a point. Maybe this can work.

The second time was a pretty near miss, but once again, it was unexpected! He and the sides were just watching Mulan together as usual! They were piled up together, blankets in hand, and yeah, it might look weird to anyone who can’t see the sides, he guesses, with the blankets stretched out in places that have nothing to stretch onto, but once again, he wasn't expecting someone to come over! But anyways- whatever happens, happens. He's trying to be better about it.

It really doesn't stop Janus from pulling out all the stops (teaming up with Virgil, even!) when it comes to having to come up with an alibi to Terrence over why the blankets are arranged so strangely, even though there is literally nothing keeping it afloat. In the end, it's not the most believable lie, but Terrence is busy with Valerie just after, so he probably doesn't really think about it too hard. Besides, Thomas has always been a pretty quirky guy! ("Which could be an insul--" "Jack and Sullen, we love you very very much, but please, for the love of all things Disney, please breathe and take out your fidget cube..") So hey, what was a new quirk when added to everything else?

Meanwhile, Terrence is trying to figure out what the fuck he just saw, because he's pretty sure that there were more than one Thomas there, and Thomas only has two other brothers. Also none of them dress like twenties mobsters or are semi-transparent.

Nico was having a good day. In fact, he still is!

He and his (amazing) boyfriend were sitting on the couch- though more draped on top of each other than anything while binge watching ELITE and Tiny Pretty Things, while also being pleasantly high (as opposed to stoned).

Things only entered strange territory when during one of the flashback murder-y scenes in Tiny pretty Things, a strange man who looked like an even more chaotic Thomas with some grey hair on him entered the room from seemingly nowhere, and proceeded to occupy the sparse space on Thomas’s lap with his head, essntially just napping on his boyfriend’s lap while also being kind of see-through (???!!!???AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH). Thomas noticed, waved a small wave and started playing with this weird guy’s hair.

Nico is now a little high from the bong that he and Thomas had shared, but not enough to hallucinate, especially since, when the high was pretty much gone, the guy was STILL THERE. MIERDA. At this point, he’s just going to call it ghosts. Thomas doesn’t seem to mind too much anyways, so they must not be harmful. Nico decides to table this for another day and go back to binge watching crazy maniacs with his very soft and warm boyfriend, and let the remainder of the high coast along.

"We have to talk about the Thomas thing." Is the first thing Joan says without any bullshit, as soon as everyone except Thomas himself, Gavin (because it's two AM) and Quil are packed together in Thomas's living room, where he just binged Parks and Rec with everyone. They've all finally managed to shove Thomas and Quil back to their respective areas of sleep after 42 hours without said sleep, and nobody was allowed to talk loud enough for them to wake up.

"The… Thomas thing?" Asks Valerie. Oh that sweet summer child. Joan once again quietly calls everyone's attention by asking Talyn to shake their hair around like a neon-coloured alarm bell. This was especially effective in the otherwise dark kitchen where they were trying out glow in the dark hair dye.

"Well, as of lately, we've been seeing a lot, and I mean a lot of really weird shit coming from Thomas. Everyone, recount your experiences." Joan says in the most serious voice they've got. "I'll go first."

They wave their hands like Matt Mercer, as if they were setting up a dope DND campaign. Quietly, of course.

"Well, about a month ago now, I was cleaning here, at Thomas's, because I was sleep-deprived and would have crashed and died if I'd tried to go back to mine and Talyn's. So most of the night goes normally, as one would expect, but when I wake up in the morning…" Joan readjusts their beanie. "I hear Thomas in the living room, talking to people called Logan, Roman, someone called Pat, Virgil and 'deceit'. And this debate becomes an ordeal, alright? He re-enacts a whole entire ace-attorney style courtroom scene with these imaginary people? I called him out on it over the phone when he apologized for some random thing- I don't remember, and he kind of just… admitted that he talks to himself? And moved on.

Everyone absorbs this new information. Camden keeps braiding Talyn's hair.

"But that's not too big of a deal, right Joan?" Whispers Camden, tying up the elaborate mini fishtail plait in Talyn's hair. "I mean, thanks Thomas we're talking about. He could have been rehearsing or something- isn't he JD in the next production of Heathers?"

Terrence speaks up next. "Yes, this would have been all well and good, had the Blanket Incident ™ not occured."

Valerie shakes her head. Why are her friends like this? Oh wait. They’re all theatre nerds, queer and D&D players.

"In the blanket incident ™, I was walking past Thomas's room, as one does. HOWEVER, while he was watching Mulan, I noticed something wrong with his blanket pile!"

"What, that they don't have any Vetal Miking references on them? Because that's the true tragedy here."

"Nope, sorry Tal, the weirdness here was not about Vetal Miking references, but the fact that parts of the blanket were freaking floating, in thin air! I have discreet pictures!"

"What the fuck, Terrence." whispered everyone in a strange, haunting unison that could only be possible at two AM as they saw the very strange pictures.

"And that's not it!" Pipes up Talyn, who is now realising that they are very close to becoming too loud for 2 AM kitchen chats, and makes an effort to quiet down.

"At breakfast today, Thomas's waffles were making themselves- Thomas can't cook, y'all. And he can't even use is fucking waffle iron. And he was on the other side of the room! Talking to Quil!" After Quil left, he told the waffle creator to chill out because the stack was getting too tall!"

"Is this about Thomas's ghosts, guys?" Asks Nico, the new cute boyfriend and new theatre company writer as he plops down in Quil's usual spot. Nico's nice- everyone likes Nico except maybe Nico, to which, well, mood. ALSO- ghosts?!!

"Nico what the fuck do you mean by ghosts, you serial killer in training?"

"One, just because I have to write a serial killer in this new script and I'm enjoying it, it doesn't mean I'm gonna be a serial killer, you tonte. Two: yeah, the ghosts that follow him around and look just like him? They seem nice enough." At everyone's super unspoken request to elaborate, for fuck's sake, he takes the hint and does.

“Oh! So the first time I saw them, I was at the mall. You know, where Thomas and I met?” everyone nods, and Talyn readjusts their braces.

“So there was this guy in a hoodie- Virgil, as you said, and the Disney prince. Roman, I think. And they were just kind of… there? Roman was holding Virgil’s shoulder affectionately, and that’s about it. They were only really visible after about three or four hours of us talking, though.” Some of the people hum.

“Then, we were watching a movie and these two guys who also look a lot like Thomas just kind of lounged? On the couch? They were pretty faint, like if their brightness was decreased to about thirty percent in Photoshop.”

“Hey, same!” says Terrence.

“Yeah, so those guys- the one in the green t-shirt that has the legs on the bus meme- so weird- kind of just stretches onto Thomas’s lap and stays there, while the twenties mobster just… curls up to his side? And thomas is probably like, used to this because he kind of just lets it be and curls the meme shirt-”

“I think it’s Remus.”

“-Remus’s hair absentmindedly and moves on.”

“Fuck.” Whispered Joan very softly, but with great feeling.

“So what do we do about it?” asks Camden. There, finally, someone asks the real questions.

“Well,” puts forward Talyn. “They’re not harming him, right? And he’s had them around for a long enough time, right? So what’s the harm? Thomas is just haunted and will probably be on Buzzfeed Unsolved: Supernatural at some point when he dies but hey, if he’s cool with it, we are too.”

Everyone seems to agree with that, and they’re in comfortable silence, until Valerie asks everyone to go the fuck to sleep, we’re still doing the Heather’s costume rehersals and Death Week starts in two days. With groans and cracked joints from Talyn, everyone hobbles off to their respective rooms in the duplex.

Meanwhile, a certain white-streaked side and his hoodied companion are listening through the wall, far away from what anyone can see, and they both visibly sigh in relief. That didn’t go too badly. The question remains: what do we do now?

“They KNOW????” exclaims Thomas, the next day in the (thankfully empty) breakroom, in between rehearsals- Candy Store is being run through and that means that everyone else is outside.

“Yes, Thomas, they know. Or they somewhat know, I suppose.”

“Yeah, because they think we’re-Thomas is being HAUNTED!!’

“Are you not haunted, then?” comes a voice, and Thomas turns around, forgetting to let the sides dissipate in his surprise. It’s Nico, with Talyn and Valerie close behind, who are clearly taking in the six other guys in the breakroom. Well, fuck. The cat’s out of the bag for good, he guesses.

“Could you get everyone else during lunch break? I’ll explain then.” Talyn nods and leaves with a smile, telling him that they’re not mad at him, while Nico asks, voice farther away “So are you haunted or not?”.

“So they’re… aspects of your personality that you’ve been able to manifest since you were a kid?” Camden asks, a bit disbelieving, even as Logan, Roman, Patton and Janus drape themselves over Thomas on one of the beanbags in the breakroom, filled with other nerdy gay young adults. Logan pushes up his glasses, ready to go on another tangent. Go wild, you funky little dude.

“Well yes, that’s exactly what we're saying. I myself am the embodiment of Logic- every fact that Thomas has ever learned, and his, and these are his words, not mine, ‘the only braincell’. He makes the air quotes to go with the expression, but is also smiling fondly.

“Classic Thomas.”

“Yes, Valerie, I am inclined to agree. However, this is not specific to Thomas. Other people can, in fact, do what Thomas is. Lilly Singh is one of them- the reason that she and Thomas are even friends is because in high school Thomas caught her talking to one of her sides in the art room.”

“So wait-- we can summon sides too?!” asks Nico, and he and Camden look genuinely excited, but Thomas knows the answer to that question.

“Unfortunately no, not really. You have to have an extremely active imagination, and also be ‘innocent’, as society would put it. I’d say näive.”

“For example, I couldn’t make any more sides after i was fourteen, because I watched the news by then.” pipes in Thomas. Joan seems to process this first, nodding and grinning sardonically. “Ah yes, the news. Wrecking childhoods since forever.” everyone nods in gay syncing, because gay minds think at the same time.

Valerie suddenly speaks up; “So how many sides do you have, Thomas?”

Thomas perks up, because his sides are possibly his favourite metaphysical beings (as narcissistic as that might sound) “I have six! My logic, morality, both creativities- Kids and Family and PG13-and-up, anxiety and deceit! I have two creativities because of catholic guilt and my mind’s inherent need to cause chaos, I guess.”

“Valid” replied Valerie.

The rest of break passed by pretty smoothly, with questions being passed back-and-forth about what the sides truly were, considering they clearly were not just Thomas, and Virgil even felt okay enough to come in later! So that was good. Though he kind of wishes Remus had made fewer Heathers jokes- Camden was starting to look squeamish, even as Nico frantically took notes of gorey facts to use in his script.

Honestly, Thomas thought to himself. What was I scared of?

Irrational things. And rejection, replies Virgil in his head. He laughs and pulls him in for a hug, and tries as he might to deny it, Virgil is looking pretty chuffed.

[cameoamalthea]

On DMs, Players, and Trust

“Of all the themes I want to explore, the Traveler-Jester relationship is one that I’m being very careful with. It can go into a dark path, which I don’t want to, and I don’t want it to even lean that way.”

— Matthew Mercer in Talks Machina Episode 146 - Discussing Up to c2e109 (via icouldbeherpocketbacon)

Matt Mercer is a good DM. And I don’t mean that in a he’s a professional actor with years of experience in VO work that makes him especially gifted at portraying NPCs or even a talented DM with years of experience crafting dungeons, building encounters, planning stories and running games. You don’t need that to be a good DM. 

What you do need is to always respect your players and their experience, and try to make sure everyone at the table is having fun. That you’re all having fun together because at the end of the day you’re playing a game.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a take that really bothered me and has been sort of eating at me:

[Artagan is] not a person with whom anyone would start a relationship like Jester has, knowing him as a person. He was her childhood best friend, the one who was there for her when she was alone. And what a brilliant trap Matt has set that Laura is rising to so masterfully- Jester is so determined to stick with him despite everything Laura knows, and she keeps rising to his level over and over again

And now that I can articulate why, I want to talk about it (without hijacking @wellbustmybuffers post. Also this isn’t a call out. But I’m also not gonna vague post or not attribute the points I’m responding to because if you want to want to anything I say, then you should be informed of this post so you can, if you want : ) )

Matt did not trap Laura. A DM should not set ‘traps’ for players that override their agency. 

Literal traps in a dungeon are fine because everyone is sitting down and consenting to play a game where you as players explore dungeons and face dangers, including traps. Your characters can die through bad rolls or poor choices, that’s part of the game everyone agrees to play together. However, a DM should NEVER force a player into a role playing a scenario they did not sign up to play or could make the player uncomfortable.

There are plenty of DND horror stories out there, and a lot of them stem from this kind of behavior. A DM kills a player’s animal companion off screen because they think animal companions are OP, causing a player to leave in tears. Or (TW rape, bigotry, homophobia, sexism, everything) a DM who crosses every line imaginable.  And even outside of worst case horror stories, putting players in a situation where they don’t get to play a game they enjoy or are forced into situations they didn’t anticipate is not good. Of course, players can consent to play whatever type of game. If you want a backstory where you’re a warlock of a mysterious force that you know nothing about and the DM asks, are you cool if the mysterious patron might be evil, then that’s cool. Like whatever the players find cool and interesting is fine. You want to play a drow or a goblin in a world where they are hated and feared and play with having to disguise yourself and deal with hatred - again that’s cool. But you don’t inflict conflicts on the player they didn’t sign up for. If they want to play a goblin for fun and want acceptance/don’t want to rp racism, respect that.

It would not be ok if Matt saw that Laura had a backstory where her god was her mysterious imaginary friend and she loved him and then he sprung it on her that her best friend was actually a terrible guy no one would want for a friend. A DM should not hijack a player’s backstory or railroad them into losing their best friend or having to change their concept.

[Artagan is] not a person with whom anyone would start a relationship like Jester has, knowing him as a person.

Laura Bailey wanted her character to have a relationship like that knowing Artagan as a person because Laura loved him in CR1. 

You can see it in how Vex reacts to Artagan. When they first meet in The Echo Tree:

MATT: “All right. Travel safe. Stay alive. And maybe visit. If you get lonely.” And he gives a deep bow and just vanishes.

LAURA: He was fucking cool.

TALIESIN: Dear god, let’s get out of here before something else happens.

LAURA: I really liked him.

When they meet again in Dark Dealings

LAURA: No, he was great!

MARISHA: He was cool.

SAM: Wasn't he the guy who sketched us and was creepy?

LAURA: Yeah, he was funny, and he also helped us, and he also enjoyed us because we were weird.

 Vex liked him even after he asked if he could strangle her unkillable brother after the party offers him ‘a good time’ in exchange for a favor’ and Vax agrees, so they do). When Vax comes back, Vex invites Artagan to dinner and asked him for help identifying things in The Final Ascent. 

LAURA: Artagan can join us.

MATT: Oh, he does. Don't worry. As soon as you guys begin to eat, at the far end of the table you see the orange mane erupt from the side of table as he takes a seat. "Oh, wondrous. I appreciate this, thank you."

LIAM: So did that live up to your expectations, then?

MATT: "Hello. It was all right."

LIAM: New hobby, or--?

MATT: "I don't know. Have to try when they're not willing. That's a joke; that's a joke."

LAURA: Okay. Hey, Artagan, can you look at this wand?

MATT: It's a war wand. It's a plus one wand. For anyone who's casting a spell through it, it's a plus one modifier to DC.

LAURA: Oh, do you have to attune?

MATT: Generally you have to attune to these, yeah.

LAURA: Okay. Great. All right. Thanks.

Laura liked this character so much that she worked him into her character’s backstory. Before she wanted to play Jester as a cleric, she wanted to play Jester as a character who is best friends with Artagan and they play pranks together. Knowing exactly who Artagan is as a person, Laura wanted her character to be his best friend, Talks Machina Discussing Episode 94

My original plan was to make a warlock, and I was going to make a warlock with the fey pack to Artagan and then I was gonna have the book...There's a thing called the book - the book pact or something like that, and I was like what a way to worship him!  With like a spell book with like lewd drawings and it, that's so perfect. Yeah, and then Travis was like ‘what? Warlock? Oh ok”. And then I was like, oh shit I have to be cleric. And so I asked Matt, can I still have him as my god? And Matt’s like yeah, we can make it work.

This is what a good DM does. They listen to what their player wants to do with a character concept and they make it work because they want their players to have fun. Laura Bailey wanted Artagan and made up a backstory that would allow a relationship with him since there’s a class for that (fey pact Warlock) but when her husband decided to go Warlock she decided to go Cleric and Matt made it work so she could keep her concept and play with the NPC she loved and wanted as her best friend. Matt didn’t trick Laura, Matt didn’t trap Laura, listened to Laura and worked with her to give her the warlock/patron or cleric/deity relationship she wanted to have and play. Because that’s what good DMs do. 

[theraveninhisstudy]

💪🤯🤡

Favorite battle:

God, this is a tough one. in campaign one it’s probably a tie between scanlan’s triceratops rampage during the briarwood arc and grog’s pit fights with Kern the Hammer. The triceratops incident speaks for itself really, and the pit fights have this unique “gimmick” going on where the way Travis and Matt flavor each blow to have real tactical meaning. It’s not just two dudes wailing on each other and seeing who gets the bigger numbers, Matt and the whole group have an amazing talent for painting these glorious pictures of combat that I feel was one of the things that really made Critical Role different to watch compared to other DnD podcasts I’d seen up until then, and Matt and Travis really did something amazing with Grog vs Kern. It also really shows how much is going on in Travis’s head in combat, which is easier to overlook during the earlier shows when his personal role in battle was mostly “GROG SMASH”.

Campaign 2, happened recent enough to be spoilery, so skip this one if you aren’t caught up. I’d actually have to say the battle against the Uka-toa fish people on the Ball-eater. Everything from Matt managing to completely blindside Travis, Travis’s regret at not seeing it coming, The long term implications the battle had in what the bad guys where trying to accomplish, The very real “What the Fuck, Mercer” fear, and of course the way the whole table came together to protect/save fjord. Talisen apparently said off camera that it was the angriest he’s ever played Caduceus and the moment where he says “Not in the Mood” moment is surprisingly chilling.

Favorite Reveal:

Campaign 1 fave reveal is probably the first time Matt brings up the briarwoods, which might be a bit of a stretch on what counts as a reveal, but it’s just one of those moments that’s done so beautifully. The way Matt just drops the name brairwood into what is essentially Background Worldbuilding NPC chatter to most of the group, on the tail of a conversation that had much more obvious in-character interests for the group. You can see everybody either looking at their notes or deciding what to do next already, and Matt says the words Briarwood and Talisen just snaps up like Matt just actually slapped him in the face and he’s all wide eyed and you can just see all of Percy’s trauma and turmoil as if it’s his own and ACTING and the integration of character and player that’s just one of the things i seriously love about Dungeons and Dragons. 

Campaign 2 fave reveal probably goes to the one-two punch of Nott’s family and Nott’s curse. Sam’s particular style of acting tends to make even the more serious character moments feel like a bit. There are only a handful of moments outside of incredibly dire combat where his character is the center character that he doesn’t bring some sort of levity to in some way. And the triple gut punch of revealing Nott’s family, her curse, and Husband being kidnapped by the Dynasty leading up to Nott actually lashing out at Caleb just had me shaking with so many emotions and feeling like Sam Reigal and Matt Mercer had just drained literal years off my life.

Worst take that I still stand by:

There’s a part of me that sort of wishes Matt had kept Tiberius around as an NPC. Kicking Orion from the show was absolutely the right thing to do, and having Tiberius leaving Vox Machina the way he did was probably the right way to handle that. Even killing him felt like a good narrative choice and happened long enough after the fact that it didn’t feel unnecessarily malicious. I just think that when you remove Orion’s shitty behavior on and off the table from the equation, Tiberius had enough charming quirks and mannerisms that I found him pretty entertaining, and Matt’s short performance as him when he left the party permanently made me want to see more on his take on the character. I get the probably reasons why he never used Tiberius in that way, and admittedly Vox Machina manages to feel complete without him in a way that it doesn’t when it’s missing literally any of the other original members, but I’m still a bit curious about what could have been if different decisions had been made.  

[eponymous-rose]

Return of the Revenge of the Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E108-109 (September 15, 2020)

It’s been six months since the last Speech Machine Upper Luminosity (is that right?), so let’s jump right back in like nothing ever happened!

Tonight’s guests are Laura Bailey and Matt Mercer!

Announcements: Talks will now be biweekly, discussing two episodes at a time! Unfortunately, this means fan question submissions aren’t doable yet, since they’ll often be filming Talks for episodes that haven’t aired yet; questions will come from crew, but fanart and cosplay from earlier episodes will still get awards. Dani Carr’s new official title in the company is Lorekeeper!

Episodes 108-109

Brian asks Matt about the tug-of-war with the Moonweaver’s influence: “how much of that did the Traveler and Jester’s interactions influence him not going back to the Feywild?” Matt: “Okay, well, the Moonweaver isn’t necessarily happy about taking on the images and icons and co-opting elements of her worship, but also isn’t a vindictive deity necessarily.” She has a similar fey history to Artagan, “so I knew this encounter, there would be a punishment involved, at the very least to take Artagan down a few pegs.” He wasn’t going to be actually banished; the Moonweaver just wanted to “scare the shit out of him: You think you’re a trickery god? Welcome to the original trickery god, bitch.” There was a possibility of him just vanishing for a while, if there was no sign of humility; but based on their interactions, it was just enough to show the planetar that maybe this isn’t the same “troll of an Archfey” that the Moonweaver had known. “Maybe this is enough of a lesson.”

Laura thought Artagan was going to be “gone-gone, and Jester was going to be left alone”. She thought there was going to be a Feywild rescue, and Jester would have to try to find a new deity.

Laura’s wi-fi conks out. So does mine. Ah, 2020.

Jester would probably have followed the Moonweaver in an attempt to make amends. Laura mentions that every time she sat down to prep something for Traveler-Con, she realized Jester wouldn’t sit still long enough to plan it.

Laura: “If that cult hadn’t been there and she hadn’t seen what a false god could do to people, I don’t think she would have come to the realization that what her and the Traveler were doing was detrimental: oh, we’re fucking over people’s lives, hardcore.” If Artagan hadn’t been on board with picking a different deity, Jester would have stepped down at Traveler Con and she would have exposed the lie.

Matt’s “super happy” because he was purposely making sure he didn’t know what was going to happen at Traveler Con. “Okay, everything around it’s going to be interesting and fleshed out, but as to the actual convention, I have no idea what’s going to happen.” He wanted to balance a complete train wreck with character beats and mini-arcs, and he was satisfied with how that worked out.

Brian asks if Jester ever considered walking away from the Traveler. Laura: “Yeah. It could have progressed to that point. Jester always gave him the benefit of the doubt, and loves him with her entire heart, so if he would have not seen that what they were doing was not acceptable, in his own way, then Jester would have probably walked away. I don’t know if she would have walked away from him, but it would have been a big issue for her. I have no idea what that would have meant for her... my entire character arc.”

How does Jester feel about the Traveler now? “She loves him, but at the same time, she doesn’t adore him without boundaries. She sees a little bit more of who he is, and the worshiping aspect isn’t there anymore. She sees him more like another friend. That’s a complicated relationship for a cleric to have.”

Matt talks about what a fan he is of his players. “I’ve just been enjoying the hell out of this.”

Has Artagan learned his lesson? He’s been living for a long time, and old habits are hard to break. Matt points out that Artagan “is free in a place that he doesn’t have complete domain over, and he’s been humbled a few times. I think he’s definitely learned a series of lessons to some degree. We’ll see how far it sticks and where their relationship goes.”

Brian asks Laura how it’s been to have the spotlight on Jester for a long time. Laura: “It was nerve-wracking. I feel very relieved that it’s on to something else now, but it was so much fun, too. I feel like I kept getting so emotional as her through all this. Having to come to terms with all the things she was going through was crazy. But it felt good.”

Cosplay of the Week: An amazing Yasha by @shiieldmaiden on Twitter, photo by @asheneyed.

Matt: “I took a bath for this.”

Brian notes that Jester found herself caught between her god and the M9. Who would she have chosen if Artagan hadn’t kicked her off? Laura: “Here’s the thing. If Fjord hadn’t jumped on my back, Jester would have gone. But him doing that, I mean, that’s why I froze like I did. I really didn’t know where it was going to go. Thankfully Artie made that choice for me.”

The Vilya reveal’s been waiting since Marisha made Keyleth’s backstory. Brian recalls that the question of what happened to Vilya came up in the campaign 1 recap, and Matt was cagey about it. “When I got the original backstory from Marisha, in my head, I was like, her mother’s probably still alive, just lost to the chaos for reasons that I’ll get to, but I like the idea of an eventual reunion when it made sense.” As they got later in the campaign, Keyleth’s story became about taking on this leadership and stepping into her mother’s footsteps: “I didn’t want to rob her of her journey by bringing her mother into it before it was complete. There wasn’t a beat that felt right for it in the first campaign unless the players actively wanted to go and seek it out.” He knew she was on an island somewhere, and that there was an issue with her memory, but the details were still hazy, and it never came up in the first campaign. “As soon as we got to Rumblecusp as a possible visiting location, I was like, this would probably be the island that Vilya’s at.” He knew the community would pick up on it quickly, but the players would likely be too engrossed in their own story. “Getting to send her home was wonderful, both for an idea of closure, but as a long-waiting gift to Marisha and Keyleth. It’s something that I’ve been looking forward to giving to her.”

On building Vilya’s character: “I wanted to make sure she wasn’t too similar to Keyleth. She couldn’t remember her family, but when she did, it meant everything.”

Brian asks what inspires Jester’s thought process to try and befriend every creature they come across. “Everyone is interesting. Except for Celia, she’s a bitch. If you piss her off, she might just hate you forever, but everybody else she thinks is pretty great. Jester can hold a good grudge.”

Brian asks Matt about the inspiration for Vokodo. “It is a heavily customized version of a Morkoth. I was just intrigued by how they had created this creature that creates this island around it. It has ways of affecting the minds of creatures around it. I didn’t enjoy that the creature was only Medium in size, and I wanted it to be something that was a little bit more changed by its experiences.” He also tied it in with the Astral Sea lore and suggested that it had been changed by its proximity to this volcano, similarly to how Thordak did in the first campaign.

Fan Art of the Week: An amazing Traveler Con Jester and Artagan by @callanthee on Twitter

How about the visions of the living city? Laura: “I don’t know what the fuck is going on with that thing. If it true that there’s a Molly connection, the Eyes of Nine, I don’t know. It’s just too much. We have to look into it.” Matt, blandly: “Weird mysteries.”

Who would the Disintegrate spell have hit if it had ricocheted? “Initially, I would have wanted to choose Caleb, like back at himself, because the immediate threat of that ray towards Vokodo, it would have been just right back at him.” But the runner-up would have been Jester because of the threat of the banishment back to the Astral Sea, the one place he didn’t want to go.

Laura could tell from Liam’s gameplay that he hadn’t realized someone was going to perma-die from that. “I thought it was going to be me, because I had been the one to banish him.”

Dani points out that the group would probably have gone after Artagan if Jester had died right before Traveler Con.

Matt highlights Cad’s Divine Intervention as pretty much the only way they could have learned the important information they used to prepare for the fight with Vokodo. He was torn between frustration at not being able to use this boss to its fullest potential... and pride in his players.

Laura is amused at listening to the characters talking about Jester when she’s not there. “It’s fun to hear but not be able to use that at all in your interactions with them.” Laura points out that even her sister who watches the show doesn’t trust the Traveler. Matt mentions that he’s always being very careful with the relationship between the Traveler and Jester, because it could get into rough territory. “There are unhealthy elements of their relationship, very much so. A lot of her story has been about disillusionment.” Laura: “Yeah. Eyes open.” They’ve set up bumpers to make sure they don’t veer into territory the players find uncomfortable. 

“Artagan at the end of campaign one versus Artagan at campaign two are different. He came into this world a purely selfish being of id and impulse. He still has those dark tendencies and can lean down those dark paths. But he went from a purely chaotic, selfish creature to unintentionally beginning to care for people that aren’t him.” Traveler Con definitely left a mark on him. “Aw shit, I let them in.”

Sam starts Facetiming Brian. “How does he know when we’re filming this?! No. I’m not going to do it.”

Matt and Laura are "super excited” for the new landscape of the next part of the journey.

Laura notes that Jester is getting past the point of “needing to put on the mask”, including around her mom. And as that’s happened at Traveler Con, the small breakdowns have been piling up. “That’s what therapy’s like, right?”

On the new goliath shopkeeper (even with the mispronunciations as clues, I got nothing on that spelling), Matt points out that purchasing magical items is tricky because most things were pulled into the war effort. He was trying to figure out how a shopkeeper could build a business in that environment: “with a bunch of really small, shitty enchantments”. As a kid, he loved novelty shops, and took a lot of inspiration from those memories.

So glad everything’s back in business! “As always, don’t forget to love each other. And don’t worry, it’s almost Thursday.”

[novelconcepts]

Okay, but all silliness aside: I owe a ridiculous amount to Critical Role. Or, more specifically, to having found CR when I did. I came in around the beginning of the second campaign, and I had no idea what this thing was. I didn’t know a damn thing about D&D. I didn’t watch gamers stream. I think I’d been on Twitch a handful of times to watch Jim Lee draw, and that was...it. 

I came into Critical Role having seen a handful of gifs on my dash from people whose opinions I trust, and I realized Ashley Johnson was involved. That was my full base of knowledge: Ashley “hey, I know her from Recess/Growing Pains, I like her” Johnson was the whole deal. And that could have been a breaking point early on, because the first thirty episodes of Campaign 1 are a little rough if you don’t know what you’re getting into. The audio is questionable in places, it can be hard to track what’s going on, there’s the whole...obvious cast issue. And if you came in knowing only Ashley, you didn’t even get that lifeline the whole way through. 

But here’s the thing: this was 2017? I had just gotten married, and while I married the love of my life, who I had been engaged to--we originally had a slapdash courthouse wedding the day after the election, because it was the only safety net we could grab hold of. At least it would be a legal marriage, in case something really cataclysmic happened before our actual wedding date. I was obsessively refreshing six different news sites every hour while at work, and falling down the darkest political rabbit holes on Twitter every night. I was have terror dreams of nuclear fallout and panic attacks over climate change...and, on top of all the fear and the anger broiling in me, my dysphoria was getting worse by the day. My anxiety. My depression. I was sinking. Fast.  So I did the only thing I know how to do when things get truly bad inside my head. 

I hid inside stories. 

Namely, I hid inside Critical Role. The new campaign wasn’t quite on its feet yet, so I went back and started with Vox Machina. I went into these 3-5 hour episodes, letting them play in the background at work, letting these people I did not know or even really get yet into my head. And, at first, it was just the fascination of the concept. A long-form narrative built by upwards of 8 people, all sitting around a table, just...improvising. Not an inch of that is the way I tell stories, so it was brilliant and baffling, and curiosity had me straight out the gate. 

And, if it had just been the concept, that still might not have been enough to hold my attention. If it had just been the idea of it, it might not have been loud enough to drown out the voices in my head telling me the whole ship was going down, that there was no hope, that there was no point in even getting up in the morning to face more bullshit. 

But...it was Matt Mercer. Matt, with such an incredible array of characters and maps living inside his head, who could so easily have been That Guy--the English Major Asshole who knew he was smarter than everyone in the room and played it up--and instead chooses to be so kind. So utterly engrossed in the desire to give everyone a seat at the table, to let everybody into the narrative he’s weaving. It takes a certain kind of person to not only write the sort of stories he invents for CR, but to be open enough to lean back and let other people take the wheel every night, and to roll with whatever comes his way. 

And it was Travis Willingham. This huge dude who had to sit at the edge of the table because he was all muscle and thumping energy, who I kept expecting to be tight-lipped and brewing with that toxic masculinity judgment straight dudes are taught to value--and, instead of even a modicum of that, he was so excited. So invested in these characters and this game, in these friends, in playing the wisest dumbass ever to cross a screen. Travis, who hugs his male friends, and doesn’t pull the no-homo card, and stans his wife with such delight, there is no way you can watch even half an episode without falling in love with their love. 

And it was Liam O’Brien, who could have played the arrogant Cool Dude, and instead leaned so hard into having fun with his place at the table. Into deep-cut jokes, and his love for his friends, and such an affinity for Laura that I genuinely believed they were siblings. Liam, who wears his soft heart on his sleeve, and understands that sometimes the best way through tragedy is to weave it into a story, to let that be a kind of therapy among friends. 

And it was Taliesin Jaffe. Tal, who is just gonna be him, and not even fuck you if you don’t like it--he doesn’t even seem to notice. Tal, who is physical with his friends, and who laughs with his whole body, and who has the quickest one-liners in the world one minute and “life needs things to live” the next, and who just is such a joy to watch as he immerses himself at the table. He’s gonna have his hair, and he’s gonna wear mismatched socks, and he’s gonna paint those nails, and love his people, and inspire everyone around him to do the same. 

And it was Sam Riegel, who--I’ll be honest--I didn’t get for a while. He was hilarious, and he was a quick-draw, and I loved his songs, but I didn’t understand how much he cared, how truly in it he was. Sam has said he’d do anything to make these people laugh, and I don’t think everyone realizes just how valuable it is to have someone who understands the need of a good laugh in a bad situation. Sam lights up the table in the strangest, silliest ways--but he also brings some of the most vital human moments to the story. 

And it was Laura Bailey, who was just so...warm, it bleeds straight through the screen and envelopes me every time I watch her play. Vex is cool as shit on the surface, but Laura is so full of affection, so quick-witted, so hugely into this game that she transforms herself utterly when she plays. Laura comes to the table to play with everything she’s got, and she’s so honest when she does it. Impeccable voice work one minute, flirtatious wink the next, and then she’s dying laughing at a dick joke. It’s so open, it’s impossible not to love. 

And it was Marisha Ray. Marisha, who took so much shit, and came out the other side standing taller than ever. Marisha, who commits wholeheartedly in voice, in affectation, in climbing up on her chair or lunging backward out of it. From day one, I was rooting for Marisha--I was inspired by Keyleth getting to grow up onscreen, as I’ve been invested in Beau slowly cracking open and letting herself shine out from the spaces she’s spent so much time shoring up. She loves these characters like true friends, and she loves her people, and she loves her husband, and she loves this craft to such a degree, I want to quit my job and come work for her instead. There’s such a strength and a dignity to her that I find myself needing to be stronger, too. 

And, of course, it was Ashley Johnson--deceptively sweet, intensely funny, so much tougher than she looks, and when she turns up in a game, the affection could fill a stadium. Ashley being in town or on Skype for a game is like coming into a party and finding a friend you hadn’t gotten to hang out with in six months waiting for you. Everything just feels brighter with her in the game.

And it is a game, and it is a story, but the family these people have built--people I’ll likely never meet, people who live on the opposite side of the country--is somehow big enough to let complete strangers bask in its reflected glow. I built a habit of listening to CR at work...and then talking about it to my wife, with all the hyper-fixation glee I can’t help when I fall in love with something...and then I was putting it on at home so she could fall in love, too. I was putting on Talks or Between the Sheets while I ran on the treadmill, or when I needed to focus on a project. I put on episodes I’d already seen when I was sad, or when I was lonely, or when I just needed something to fill the silence and keep the darkness in my head behind a wall. For two years, I’ve gone back to these people again and again. To the silly videos. To the serious conversations. To the Twitter feeds and the fanart people can’t resist making to commemorate these characters who feel so tangible. 

Matt always ends the stream with a claim of love, and with most shows, with most streamers, with most people, that just feels like words. With these guys, with the way they open up and share this lightning in a bottle family and story they have created with the rest of us, it feels honest. It feels like these are long-lost friends who may never be in the same room, but are always there when I am drowning because the world is a nightmare, because work is kicking my ass, because this gushing essay is the most I’ve written in months. They are so good. They are human, and fallible, and invested in telling stories that get dark and ugly one minute, and devolve into hysteria the next, because that’s what life looks like. Even life with gods and magic and talking swords and goldfish deaths. 

Critical Role keeps me throwing my shoulders back, keeps me laughing, keeps me insisting on showing the people in my life how much they mean to me. Critical Role keeps me on the board when the demons in my head have me thinking it’d be easier to throw the game. It’s a show, and it’s silly, but it’s given me such a safe, warm place to curl up in some of the bleakest times of my life, and I love them so much for being willing to share some of that light with the rest of the world. They’ve given me a place on the internet that truly does feel like home. 

[readbythestarlight]

c2e86

Evil queen Chewbacca xD

Travis and his undying loyalty to the Dallas Cowboys is super cute and I want them to actually win something just for his sake

heyyyyy congrats Laura!

Oh god here we go

Oh Sam

The DM will remember that

[[MORE]]

Can’t wait to see Ashley!!

(She’s gonna be here if I believe hard enough it will happen.)

fuck so are the Krynn actually there?? I hope not, I don’t want this to backfire on them

FLASH YOUR BADGES

Matt: “The Krynn is rushing at you”

Laura: “WHY?!”

Matt: “....because they’re attacking the city”

Good smart Fjord using the symbol

I hate that they’re stuck choosing sides when there’s shit so much bigger than this war going down and it’s so DUMB

SHE’S HERE

WHERE

IS

ASH-O-LEE

I feel like they’re very outnumbered even with Pumat there so idk what they’re gonna do when they get inside

That is a NICE map Matt

So some of them def seem like they’re just here for the Angel of Irons and don’t know what is really going on

Okay fuck here we go

Nat1 for initiative, bad. Nat1 for charity, good.

How is she making the earth rumble....?

I have some concerns that Caleb using his fire magic here in Rexentrum is going to get back to Trent...

Also I wish they’d not use up all their high levels on this fight they’re gonna need those against Obann

GUYS

Please stop wasting your good stuff ajskalskak

Okay so obviously they need to use their big stuff but specifically on HER

Caleb’s health is already real low so suddenly I’m nervous

Goooooo Pumat!

P: “hey wanna help us out here? Thanks buddy” I FUCKING LOVE HIM

Oh boy what’s coming

Fiends?

YAAAAS NOTT

Fuck gonna be the laughing hand right?

At least

YASHA’S COMING

At least he’s killable

Oh god

YAAAAAA ASHLLEYYYYYT

MY GIIIIIRL SHE BACK BAAAAABBBBYYYY

Okay okay but maybe Caleb can dispel the magic before her turn

Beau and Yasha in the same boat now and I hate it

Beau’s doing COOL MONK SHIT

YAAAAS GIRL

monks are the fucking BEST

Marisha that was EXCELLENT god I love her that was SUCH a move I love the way she played that and described it

“I would like to rage” I want to be excited but I’m not because she’s raging at Nott

YEAHHH SHE ROLLED DOUBLE ONES

good for Nott good for charity!!

Oh no here she comes

Wait didn’t she rage not reckless?

NAT20 YAY

Fuck him up, Nott!!

Make that save Nott

Fuck

I’m starting to get a weeeee but nervous

BEAU

OH GOD

I DONT LIKE THAT AT ALL F U C K

Enervation?

Nice! Fjord hurts her and gets healing

And Taliesin looked suddenly like he thought of something big

Ash: “there’s the slightest look of relief” I cry

Pumat plz be safe

Pumat... smash??

“Pumat Swol” xD

Pumat SMASH

Taliesin looks like he has something prepped and whatever it is I hope it’s good

Fuck I just had the worst thought what if Beau and Yasha both go down and they have to choose who to save?

Dispel? Dispel?? GIVE MY GIRL BACK

YAAAAAS

IM GONNA CRY GUYS

YAAAAS STORMLORD

I’m WEEPING

Spare the dying with his beetle WILDMOTHER BLESS CADUCEUS

He has saved their butts in the most desperate moments so many times

Babygirl is FREE

I’m cryyyying

Taliesin Ashely hug guys please I’m crying enough as it is

Oh man Beau missed Yasha being freed tho

YAAAAAS KILLING THE LAUGHING HAAAAAAND TAKE THAT YOU MULTI-MOUTHED FREAK

C: “get the fuck away from my friends”

Nott bb stay

Do you think Yasha’s wings will be feathered now?

Pumat please be safe

Matthew Mercer if he’s not okay I’m gonna be SAD

Someday I will win the Wyrmwood giveaway, but it is not this day :(

Ohhhhhh nice

So Yasha... can’t die?

Okay so interesting. Like the laughing hand couldn’t, we know that, except that they destroyed the heart so then he could.

Oh man I just realized Yasha doesn’t know about Fjord being a paladin that’ll be neat

Do NOT step in those circles

Nott’s free yay!

But also not in a great position

WHISPERS

I just got a look at the circles and realized they’re definitely the ritual circles so FUCK

Obann and the Inevitable End just hanging out in the ceiling

Okay so can Obann use ANYONE to help break this chain? Does he just need sacrifices?

Matt please it’s 1am already

Fjord’s just pulling all out sorts of new things tonight (probably because there hasn’t been a really big fight since he became Paladin). Fairy fire also sounds cool.

Lol he sparkles now??

Yeeees girl you rage and you fuck Obann UP

Oh damn the Inevitabel End is too?? NICE DISPELL HER AND LET HER KILL OBANN

Although I mean she probably still needs to die tho

Oh god Fjord please make it

Nooooo

Jester NO DO NOT STEP IN THE CIRCLE

IF YOU FAIL THIS HE HAS FOUR FOR THE CIRCLES

FUCK FUCK FUCK

Fuuuuuck

Yeeeees Cad getting Fjord free very nice

Oh thank god Jester resisted

Oh god Caleb

46pts piercing fuck

But at least he resists poison okay

Guys I have to sit through class tomorrow can we wrap this up

Aaaaaand then he fails it the second time and is poisoned fuck

YESSSSS

do it whatever it is babe Yasha deserves it

Please crush his skull in with your bare barbarian hands

Okay okay ripping his wings off is cool too

Niiiiiice!! I’m SO glad it was Yasha who got the final blow

Oh wait... maybe he really did believe it was the Angel of Irons

Oh don’t like that

Matt That was scary

WHAT DID HE SAY YASHA

“You failed, and so shall be punished.” Oh boy

Oh daaaaaaamn

So this mean’s he’s gone-gone. No being brought back. HELL YEAH.

Oh fuck he’s not gone-gone he’s fucked UP ew ew ew

I’m so glad we’re ending because I need sleep but that last mini is the stuff of nightmares and also two week hiatus

It’s gonna be bad tho they are all pretty much spell dry

Obann is gone so that’s good, this is just a messed up monster made of what’s left of his form

WELCOME BACK ASHLEY AND YASHA

We love you too Matt!

[nooneimportantandjustignore]

Critical Role?

What happens when Critical Role and AI Dungeon meet? Stuff get weird and confusing really fast.

Note: AI Dungeon is a “Game” that lets you have kind of a D&D solo experience, but the GM is AI. The story will be below

"Hello everybody and welcome to Critical Role, Where a bunch of us nerdy-ass voice actors sit around and play Dungeons and Dragons." Matt Mercer says as the show starts. They look at each other and then back at Mercer who is now looking over his shoulder. You can't help but notice that he has some sort of device strapped to him which you assume is a radio or something similar.

> Travis speaks, "I would like to go get some supplies for Fjord"

You both turn your attention back to the screen where Travis is speaking. He looks very nervous and you can tell he's not used to this kind of situation.

Travis: I would like to go get some supplies for Fjord. Can we do it in person?

> Matt looks confused, "Um, Travis we're live. Can you wait until we finish playing D&D?"

Matt: "What are you talking about? We're live! What are you talking about?" Travis: "Uh, well I was just wondering if we could do it in person. It'd be much easier than sending people to bring stuff from far away.

> Matt just turns to someone else, "Jester what are you doing" he asks Laura

Laura: "Nothing, just getting my mind off things." Travis: "Well I'm going to go talk with Fjord, she wants to come too." Laura: "No!" you say. Travis: "She doesn't want to leave?

> Matt looks confused at what Travis said, "Is Fjord talking to himself?"

You both look at each other and shrug. Travis: "Yeah, but I think we should all go together." Matt Face Palms

> Matt turns the Sam, "What is Nott doing?"

You both turn your attention back to the screen where Matt is still talking. You don't know why, but you feel compelled to ask him.

Matt: "Nott, I think you should stay here and guard the door while everyone goes out there.

> Sam looks at Matt, "Why are you taking control of my character?" looking upset

Sam: "Because I am the best DM ever!" You both shake your head.

Travis: "So you think you're better than me huh?" You both shake your heads again.

> "No one said that Travis" they both say

You both continue to shake your heads.

Travis: "Alright alright, I'll take over, but only because I want to see how good you really are." They both nod and agree.

> The camera crew of Critical Role look fucking confused as all hell

The camera crew of Critical Role looks completely baffled by everything that is happening. This includes you. You can't believe you were so caught up in the game that you didn't pay any attention to them. You try to ignore them though and keep on watching the action unfold on screen.

> Marisha stands up, "Guys, I think were losing focus of the game. Can we please get back on track?" She tells everyone

Marisha continues to stand up, "Ok guys, let's get back on track. Let's not worry about who is in charge or anything else right now. Just concentrate on having fun and enjoying the show." Everyone nods their agreement and start focusing again.

> Matt tells them they in the city of Nicodranas and are on there way to the Lavish Chateau to see Jester's mom

The Mighty Nein enter the Lavish Chateau and see Carlos the bartender cleaning some glasses. Carlor, "Jester, it's good to see you. Does you mother know you were coming?"

> Jester, "No I wanted to surprise her" Laura says as Jester

Carlos: "I should have know. Do you want me to let her know you are her?"

> Jester just shakes her head, "No, that's okay. Is she in her room?" she asks Carlos

Carlos: "She isn't, no." Laura: "Good then she won't be home when we arrive. Well anyway lets get this party started! The first thing I'm going to do is make sure everyone knows how to play a musical instrument." Everyone laughs.

> I keep watching the show confused at what is happening

You watch the show for awhile and realize that you aren't really paying attention to what is actually going on. It seems like every other sentence someone says another one pops into your mind. "Oh he has a sword... Wait did he kill his dad? What happened to his family?"

>

You begin to wonder if you are even listening to the show anymore. Suddenly you hear a voice from behind you, "Hey! You're not supposed to be here!" You turn around and see Marisha with a dagger in hand. She notices your presence immediately.

> I turn to face her, "HOLY SHIT MARISHA RAY IS IN MY HOUSE!!" I say with excitement, complete ignoring the dagger she has in her hand

Marisha: "What the hell are you doing out here?" You: "I'm trying to find my sister Laura Ray, she was supposed to meet me here!" Marisha: "Where the hell did you come from?!

> "I should be asking you that Marisha, how did you get in my house?" I say

Marisha: "Well I don't remember you being here before..." You: "Yeah well I'm here now, so ask me where I came from then!" Marisha: "Fine, but you better tell me the truth or else I'll cut your throat!"

> "DAAAAMMMMNNNNN!!"

You: "Daaaaaaamnnnn!!!" Marisha looks at you with disgust, "Alright alright alright, calm down. First off I didn't mean any harm by it. Second of all why would I hurt you? You've been helping me out a lot lately."

> "I mean I just watch the show, but I'm happy to know that helps"

"I mean I just watch the show, but I'm happy to know that helps.

>

Alright fine, but you better help me out if you want to stay here."

You: "Okay, but only because I feel obligated to help a nice lady who's obviously been struggling with money problems."

Marisha: "

> "Wait, why did I say that? I mean I'd be more then happy to help you in anyway I can Marisha."

Marisha: "Because you're an idiot right? Because you think because I'm nice and have money that you can get me to let you stay here?" You: "That's not true, I just feel obligated to help out a person in need.

> I stare at her confused, "I have no idea what is going on anymore, do you?" I ask her

Marisha: "No, but you seem pretty interested in me so maybe we will soon enough." You: "What do you mean?

> "Whoa, not interested in that way or anything. I mean your married to Matt and all. So how can I help?"

Marisha: "Oh, I thought you were into guys too." You: "No, I like girls as well. But thanks for clearing that up." Marisha: "So...what do you want to do?

> Stare blankly, "I think my brain just broke" I say

Marisha: "Well, I guess we could go out sometime." You: "Hey wait a minute! What about Laura?" Marisha: "She said she wanted to see you first, so I figured we should start there." You: "But she's dead!"

> "WAIT WHAT?!? Where did that come from brain?" I look so shocked

Marisha: "It was implied in one of her letters to me. She wrote that she had a crush on you when you first moved in here." You: "WHAT?!

> "I've never even met her, how would she have a crush on me. I'm just a fan of the show."

Marisha: "Well I suppose it makes sense. The guy that played your character died and his girlfriend left him after he died. That's pretty tragic stuff right?" You: "Yeah, but...

> "Okay... When the hell was I on Critical Role, because you think I would remember something important like that." I say

Marisha: "Look, I don't really care about Laura, but I'll tell you this much. If she wants to talk to you, I'll be glad to meet her." You: "Great. Well thanks for the information Marisha.

> "Marisha Laura's your friend how could you say something mean like that about her?" I say somewhat upset

Marisha: "Don't worry about it, I know you meant well. Anyway, I'll see you later tonight." Marisha leave your home and head back the show. As you walk down the stairs, you hear a knock on the door.

> I just sit there completely stunned with what just transpired before me

You sit there completely stunned with what just transpired before you. After a few moments, you slowly open the door. It's Laura who knocks on the door. Laura: "Hi." You: ...

> Thinking to myself, "WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING!?"

You: "W-wait, Laura..." Laura: "Why are you sitting there like a dumbfounded idiot? Did I do something wrong?" You: "...no, nothing happened." Laura: "Really? Then why are you acting weird?

> "Um, because you and Marisha have visited me today and I can't understand why?" I look dumbfounded

Laura: "What the heck is wrong with you? Are you jealous?" You: "No, no, I didn't mean anything by it." Laura: "Then what the hell is going on?" You: "I dunno. Just calm down and let me explain."

> "Look how are you even here right now, last I check Critical Role was live. HOW THE HELL DO YOU GET HERE SO FAST?!" I start freaking out

Laura: "I get here early, then I stay at the hotel until late. Then I go to your house. Usually I sleep over there too, but sometimes we hang out somewhere else or just hang out together." You: "Wait, so you're not actually staying at the hotel?"

> "I-I... I just..." My brain blue screens of deaths on me

Laura: "Oh come on, calm down. Look I'm sorry if I offended you." You: "But... But how and why are you here?"

> I walk over to a wall and hit my head against it to see if I am dreaming

You wake up from your dream. You stand in front of a large room filled with people. There is also an old man standing next to you looking very stern and serious. He looks like he has been crying for quite some time, which gives you the impression that he might be dying.

> "Okay, so is this a dream within a dream?" I look around confused

You: (sigh) Okay, so is this a dream within a dream? Because I feel like I've had one before. Old Man: *Sob* No, it isn't my fault! This is all YOUR fault!

> "How is any of this my fault!" I shout back at the old man

Old Man: Oh don't be so angry. It's all your fault. The only reason why I am still alive is because you put me into this coma! You did this to me! You: ...

> Walk over to old man and punch him, "No."

You: "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Old Man: *Sob* Please, please don't blame yourself. It wasn't your fault. You: "Well okay then, but why am I still here?"

> Go over to the nearest wall and bash my head against it trying to wake up from this nightmare

You: "WHY AM I STILL HERE?" Old Man: "Because you were supposed to kill me. Now stop being such a baby and do it." You: "YOU KILLED ME AND YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR IT!"

> "I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ANYMORE! I JUST WANTED TO WATCH CRITICAL ROLE AND RELAX!!" I YELL

Old Man: "Shut up! Shut up! Don't talk to me like that!" You: "Fine, fine, whatever. I'll do it anyway. What's the point of killing me when I won't die?

> Look for an exit

You turn around and leave the room.

You walk outside and find yourself in a field with several houses surrounding you. The sun is setting behind them. You notice that they all seem to be abandoned buildings, but then again maybe that's what makes them more creepy.

> I pinch myself to wake up from this dream

You: "Pinch me to wake me up from this dream." You: "Alright, alright, I'm awake now. So where am I exactly?

> I'm in front of my computer, which has Critical Role playing, "I must of dozed off" I resume watching

I see the Mighty Nein going onto the Ball Eater to get ready for the party

>

. You see some people sitting on chairs and tables talking about something or other. Then suddenly a voice comes through the speakers, "Hello everyone, I'm Matti Newell and welcome to the first episode of Critical Role!" You: "Wait...what?

> I emotionally break down

You: "Oh god, I can't take this anymore. This isn't real! I just woke up from a bad dream and now THIS is happening! How can this be?!"

The next scene shows you standing before the group who are dressed in their full battle gear.

> I just stare at them lost for words as to what is happening anymore

You: "What the hell is going on?! Why am I here? Who are these people?" They: "We're your friends. We're the cast of Critical Role.

> "I wish!" I say

You: "I didn't sign up for this!" They: "But we thought you would. Besides, you said you wanted to relax after the long day of work...

> "How did I get here?"

They: "Well, you got into a car accident and ended up in our town. Well, we were wondering if you could help us out by taking care of the crash victims while we went to the party." You: "Wait, WHAT!?"

> "None of this makes any sense. Car Accident? WAIT AM I IN A COMA?!?"

They: "No, no, it was an accident. It's not like you had anything to do with it." You: "WHAT!? What the hell is going on? Are they trying to kill me?

>

Am I dreaming all this? Please tell me what's going on!

>

THE END

[cadaceus]

C2E137

Hello everyone and welcome to my liveblogs for Campaign 2, Episode 137 of Critical Role, in which Matthew Mercer simultaneously amazes and disturbs me with his levels of description and endless creativity. Even though this was a shorter episode (funny how we can call three hour episodes “short!”) we got so much information about this place and I loved seeing them explore this city of Cognouza. Full liveblogs down below, rich with spoilers, so beware!

- Some of those photos of Sam were Big Moods, not gonna lie

- Awwe, Jester thinking that she wishes to move forward to hold Fjord’s hand! They really are so cute <3 (Also: SHEEPLEB IS SO CUTE)

- Ohhh okay, so Artagan just posesses Sprinkle sometimes but not all of the time?

- Matt’s “many creepy voices at the same time” voiceover is still way too good

- PEOPLE ON THE STREETS?? WHOMST?? Are they real or are they illusions/recollections of the past somehow?

- “if it’s a real problem, just smack it” CAD lmao he truly has been learning from them

- “I didn’t take [Prayer of Healing] because let’s be honest...” LMAO Jester is living the battle Cleric life as she should!

- oh my god the people are real and responded to what Veth asked,,,, this is giving me so many creepy sensations but also it’s such a cool visual

- THAT PERSON SCREAMING MADE ME JUMP DUFYSGDJKLJ;

- The city having teeth and flesh.... I hate it here :) We are truly going full horror movie

- Timorei... One of the Somnovum... wants Caleb to find Elatis and Luctus in the Aether Crux to achieve immortality? End oblivion? (Like the Chained Oblivion or??)

- THE PERSON LIQUIFYING AND BECOMING COBBLESTONE, THEY ARE ALL PART OF THE CITY AND MAKE UP THE CITY WHAT IS HAPPENING MATTHEW MERCER

- Ira, I think you may be projecting here with the whole “anger in your hearts” thing

- Caleb throwing whoever this Gaudius fellow is under the bus LMAO

- oh i was NOT expecting initative OH MY GODDDD SMITE THESE THINGS

- God how is Matt like. The most talented person? His voices, his descriptions of the city and horror, the beauty of this map.... idk how my heart is so full of fondness for someone I’ve never even met but I love him

- Awww, Beauyasha on the same initiative! Girlfriends on the same wavelength I love them so much  🥰

- Oh, forbidden Essek lore! His Dexterity is 16... so maybe his order goes INT - CHA - DEX - WIS - CON - STR ?

- Yesss Veth and her laughing magic! But also.... the fleshy city (?) laughing is more horror movie material

- “A sigh of relief amongst the screams” oh now I’m sorry for them :( maybe being smited actually frees them from torture?

- Essek’s black lightning followed by Widogast’s Web of Fire from Caleb.... what’s sexier than wizards everyone?

- MY BEAUYASHA HEART IS BREAKING DON’T ATTACK HER YOU LOVE HER SHE IS YOUR FAVORITE PERSON

- But it also parallels so well with when Yasha was possessed by Obann and attacked Beau.... woof  😭

- “Super into tentacles” YASHA  💀

- The Natural 19 Fire Bolt from Essek followed immediately by a Natural 20 Fire Bolt from Caleb..... THAT’S RIGHT BABEY

- How do you want to this!!!! Phew!

- “Someone guard our exchange student wizard” LOL me as Caleb though

- TONGUE MATERIAL?? UGH GROSS

- “Final Arc” I hope the heck not Mr Mercer /j

- “Help help help help help help help help help” I mean mood but also  😭

- Oooh so Essek has a 21 Intelligence maybe? 22? 

- Is that Cree coming toward them? IF SO: BIG YIKES

- Wait, that was such a short episode, whoa! That must be the shortest CR Episode so far? Or close to it? I was really eager to keep watching, but this just means I have extra to look forward to next week! And until then, I love y’all and is it Thursday yet! <3