#i did this instead of therapy
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I'm sorry I made more.
(Accidentally saved over some of the original memes so they aren't all there)
#sega sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shitpost#shadow the hedgehog#silver the hedgehog#knuckles the echidna#tails the fox#memes#infinite the jackal#sonic adventure 2#sonic 06#sonic forces#uncle chuck#chuck the hedgehog#sonic idw#sonic archie#i did this instead of therapy#whisper the wolf#scourge the hedgehog
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This is so incredibly messy but I couldn’t stop thinking about that frame from the Cass update so I scribbled this down cause I couldn’t sleep unless I did haha
#cass apocalyptic series#rottmnt#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt mikey#art#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#my art#fan art#ink and pencil#traditional art#I might clean this up digitally but probably not sooo just take it#I did this instead of doing the work I’m supposed to be doing for therapy lmao
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the werewolf never sees the sun again
#'is this you SAM' it is not a Drawing of me#lowkey doods#personal#anyway. did this instead of asking for another therapy session i already know whats wrong with me
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“I’ll be honest—when Bobby first brought you on board, I told him he should just get a Dalmatian instead.”
#ive had the weirdest day. and my situationship from last summer just got engaged#after ending things w me the day after my dog died bc grief was ‘too serious too fast’ and now she’s engaged !#am happy for her we’re friends glad she found the right amount of seriousness even if it was in under a year but 😭 ow a little#and then my therapist cancelled our session tonight so#instead of committing to hysterics i did this 🥰 and u know what. better than therapy#sorry for that extreme oversharing. it’s been a Day#911#buddie#evan buckley#i love you like a dog#mine
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I hate that tubbo is my streamer because I can’t ever have a day to catch up on vods because what does he do when he finishes stream?? Go live! And then I can’t even escape him on his own vacation because motherfucker is bringing his PC and would be like “omg flight stream!” Because he’s DONE IT BEFORE
#I love you tubbo haha#*stare*#being an adult is hard and it’s worse when your streamer just doesn’t give a shit and streams forever#get therapy instead of going live to drown out the thoughts like the rest of us gosh#why did I have to get emotionally attached to this one#tubbo
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Finally got around to watching Fangs of Fortune from beginning and not just some broken clips (hurray being sick and getting some time off) and came across Ran Yi describing in pain staking detail how Zhuo Yixuan asked his help in easing his didi’s nightmares and I just thought what if Ran Yi had some place to go to? His death could have been avoided.
This spawned into an idea about how Ran Yi started coming to bureau on Zhuo Yixuan's request to see Zhuo Yichen and Xiao Zhuo gets another gege and after the blood moon and everything Ran Yi kept visiting him even when he was injured which gave him an idea.
What is the idea you may ask?
Establish a Demon sanctuary/therapy clinic!
Much more easier than establishing the hunting bureau because of Chongwu camp and the king cause he doesn't needs military order for this🤗
#fangs of fortune#zhuo yichen#ran yi#establishing a therapy center for demons instead of hunting bureau#Zhuo Yichen collecting geges like pokemons#Zhao Yuanzhou walking into the former demon hunting bureau: ... did I arrive at the wrong address?#ran yi enjoying his fishy life jumping from fountains to ponds in demon hunting bureau whenever his wife is busy with admin business#miss qi looking at all the paperwork: my time has come#that woman will grind every single member and milk their worth in the institution#no free loading on her watch!#fanfic#fanfic ideas#fix it
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"you don't find comfort at the tva" do u get that THIS was mobius' mindset before meeting loki?? that there was no comfort to be had in his life?? that when he wanted to spare an 8 YEAR OLD BOY it wasn't the right thing to do for the system? he carried that burden, the timelines branching and people dying because of it, all the way to that conversation with loki. i would bet anything it was eons ago for him and yet, that one little moment of KINDNESS burdened him. before loki, there was no comfort. then they came along and suddenly, the tva felt like home. it felt new, it felt lively, it felt real, it felt comfortable BECAUSE loki was there. they WERE home to mobius, after all those eons of aching loneliness. i have no doubt he was kind before loki because that's just who he fundamentally is but he LET himself be kind after loki came into his life. because he felt comfortable enough. and then. loki left him. the tva felt empty again. the food and coffee mobius loved so much turned to ash in his mouth. HE felt hollow and empty. home was never a place, it was always loki. the tva suddenly felt suffocating, he HAD to leave, he had to use the opportunity loki gave him, the chance they sacrificed themselves for.
and there – watching what could've been – he felt the sunshine on his face, and something else too. someone else. it filled him with him hope hadn't felt in a very long time.
#guys. GUYS. i love him so much#i cant get that shot of him going to drink from his coffee but dissociating instead out of my head its INSANE#owen wilson u owe me money pls pay up i need it for therapy after what u did to me w those acting choices of urs#do u understand that mobius – kind warm comfortable mobius – didn't think there was COMFORT at the tva before loki. do u understand that.#lokius#mobius m mobius#loki#loki series#loki season 2
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therapy
#personal#vent#comic#im fine rn btw im just reflecting#Working thru all my issues alone is starting to feel like a larger task than its worth though#I was able to largely deal w one big trauma recently after 4 years and I was rly proud of myself for that bc I did it alone#So Like I’m not even saying I can’t work thru my issues by myself#But like. Maybe I shouldn’t have to yk#Like the truth is I like myself a lot and I don’t like watching myself suffering as weird as that sounds#So maybe I need to take initiative for once instead of putting myself thru awful shit waiting to work it out#But also I’d have to talk to my parents bc therapy isn’t cheap and I’m still on their insurance afaik#And everytime I’ve talked to them about therapy it’s been like this 😭 they don’t deal with emotions well at all#And there’s never a good time to bring it up
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yay! I drew these quite literally three years ago. dragonheart!milo and raihan! a knight on a doomed dragon hunt being lifted out of his station by a small village medicine man. together they become magic lawyers and overthrow the government
the main details in these do survive into the iterations I’ve drawn (instead of these actual designs I spent time to make el oh el): the “leaf” diamond quilt/gambeson and the plaited coattail for milo, the “atypical” weapons, long coat, and large number of scattered fake gold trims and accessories for raihan. I think I lost raihan the hat and added a cape for milo further down the line because like this their general silhouettes are too similar for my liking lol
#pokemon#swsh#applinshipping#dragonheart AU#gym leader raihan#gym leader milo#leon is the puppet king in this one (I never made a design for him lol. lmao) (its not about him!!!!) (it is just a tiny bit#sonia actually disappeared out to sea like just the year before raihan got sent off too. and the shows up where raihan and milo are later on#as usual the everything between those three are messy in a way that makes every one of them embarrassed to bring it up lmao#if u remember one of the october pieces I did last year. the applinshipping one. yeap thats from this AU too#lmao. also remembering the swordsman AU. in every AU where I bring up a king you can TELL I cant WAIT to get rid of that guy#(its usually leon)#anyways it's not about him this is about raihan and milo!!! iirc everyone in the village knows milo is Something. bc he has literally not#aged at all for four generations#he's like doing his therapy away from the dragon hierarchy out here and raihan crash lands nearby#laughs this is so hallmark movie romance I just realized. except the city girl is trying to#extract her family from the palace before stealing the declaration of independence#oh yeah the AU is named that Specifically because the 'artifact' the whole plot runs around is supposedly a 'calcified' heart of a dragon#and the magic lawyer part is so raihan will seize the right to the throne by haha. winning a living dragon's heart instead#I'm actually surprised I remember this much abt this AU lmao it's literally been three years! I don't even remember what Im#supposed to do tomorrow#it's gettign a USB stick isnt it. Im doin a canadian horror triple feature with the senpai#I gotta remember that. well I remember This so. maybe there's a chance#man there are actually a number of applinshipping things I wanna draw... theyre my Fuckin BoyS#well! there's this at least. have a good night lads! I'll have cake soon#it's time to put cinnamon in things.
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As promised, here's the fanfiction that the people in my inbox have been demanding to read. It's already done, but I'll be releasing chapters week by week to avoid dropping a giant cinderblock on everyone all at once. So I guess we're all in this together for approximately the next seven months. Holding hands. Singing songs. I haven't engaged with the source material or with the fandom for literally ten years. I don't know why I did this. I blacked out and came to with a 100k+ Google Doc in front of me. I'm blaming literally everyone but myself.
#I've admitted previously that a lot of this is based on (unfortunately) true events#so geht das leben einfach#I wrote this instead when I was working garderobe at WKO#I did not go to therapy#come up and see my etchings#schrecken ohne ende#my typewriter was haunted#who the hell is edgar#aph austria#roderich edelstein#hetalia austria#hetalia fanfiction#pruaus
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it went fine yesterday btw :}
#Robin processes emotions on main#sometimes I freak out like a chihuahua and then actually have a good time. these things are typical in the life of ur local robin#we talked about our lives instead of our Interests and it was fine ! I think I did good. we commiserated about the post-college woes#I got re-reminded how rough my life is right now and cried a little but like in a good way. and I'll make it. we'll both make it#today I made a bucket list of churches to try (By Myself) and places to visit around town#(clutching my head staggering upright) did you guys know th.that childhood parentification can majorly mess you up#man do I need therapy. like. soon I think#also a steady job and my own apartment but let's not get ahead of ourselves. haha. sorry let me rephrase:#I'm GOING to get a job and move out eventually and it will be GOOD. and in the meantime I will make living here good too dangit#anyway so yeah I just forgot that this particular friend is good for Processing Life with instead of Enjoying Stories with#that was my issue last time.#although last time wasn't a Failure on my part. I was just exhausted and I Couldn't process life last time. no energy for that#I didn't feel safe enough to do that so all I had to fall back on was my interests and it just didn't click. such things happen#anyway I'm logging back out now but thank you everyone for the encouragement :') it really helped and I'm gonna keep on truckin'
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maybe this will get rocks thrown at me but i kinda hate when people call the 18+ prisoners "grown adults" as insults and ways to like... shut down any sympathy with them. how because they are "grown adults", they "should have known better". this has just always bothered me. i see it and i have to sit and stare at the wall for 10 minutes.
like. idk. being an adult does not automatically give you skills like Emotional Regulation, Impulse Control, Ability To Learn From Consequences, Ability To Plan For The Future, Critical Thinking, Interpersonal Skills, etc etc. you have to be Taught these things no matter how old you are. if you are not taught these things, and you are not supported in an environment that helps you further develop these things... you just. Aren't gonna be able to do them well.
adults just, typically, have accumulated enough experiences in life to have been able to learn these things. but not every adult has had that privilege. or some adults have had to just shut off the parts of their brain that would allow them to learn these things to be able to function at a basic level.
#milgram meta#when i see someone use the phrase ''grown adult'' in a derogatory way i just. can no longer even listen to them mfkfmsdf#me when no matter how hard i try i cant be a functional adult and then i just get insulted and dismissed instead of helped.#only leading me further into my pit of Despair#like. listen. i get this is a fictional piece of media. and at the end of the day i genuinely dont care That much. but also.#the way ppl think and talk about these things. even if its fictional. usually (but not always. im aware!) still reflects how they think irl#so Thats why i feel genuinely hurt when i see people talk like this.#but alas. i Am a grown adult so maybe i should just suck it up--#i simply should have utilized my DBT skills instead of allowing myself to develop mental illness /lhj#i did not have a good therapy session today (in fact it was fucking awful lol) so now i must Post Online#if you dont see me for a month. its because my traumas and mental illnesses unionized
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Footy RPF Fictober, day 2 - injury
also available on ao3
MINDLESS NONSENSE!!!! also side-note writing about Gary having tight muscles that need a massage is making me very aware of how tight MY muscles are. massage roller save me....
carraville, set vaguely while they're off on one of their little trips to film the overlap on tour
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Jamie hauls a limping Gary out of the lift and into his hotel room, lets him put his weight on him as he gingerly lowers himself to sit down on the bed with a wince.
What a drama queen, honestly. They’d been spending their afternoon off of filming on the beach with Roy and Wrighty – a chance to relax, but of course Gary Neville’s not relaxed a day in his life and he’d started getting antsy after a few minutes on a sun lounger.
Jamie’s also not much for sunbathing, so he’d found them a frisbee and they’d been playing around with it when Gary had suddenly done a weird little hop mid run and gone ‘ooh, fuck, I’ve done me ‘amstring’ in that squeaky little voice of his.
So now: Jamie’s left Roy and Ian at the beach (not that they’d notice if he was there or not anyway) to bring Gary back to the hotel, tease him a bit about being an old man with a broken-down body, and then get back to enjoying his day.
But Gary just looks so miserable, like he feels guilty for not being a twenty-something anymore, like he’s just personally ruined their whole trip, and Jamie feels – well, he should try do something, shouldn’t he?
“D’you want me to—” he gestures vaguely at Gary’s leg, not sure if he should say it. If it’s allowed. “I mean, I do an alright massage, if yer –"
“Oh.” Gary blinks. “Oh, I – ha. Thought you were just gonna give me an ibuprofen and leave me to ‘ave a nap or something.”
“Oh,” Jamie echoes. “Yeah, no, that – makes more sense, doesn’t it? I’ll just –” he looks around the room, all of a sudden feeling slightly desperate. Does he even have any ibuprofen on him? Does Gary?
“Massage sounds nice, though.”
Gary isn’t looking at him as he says this, is fidgeting with the starched white sheets on the bed instead. Oh, Jamie thinks again. Oh, he’s not used to asking for help.
A memory hits him, unwelcomed, of a summer’s day a lot like this one. But instead of the warm sands of Italy he’s on the battered grass of Melwood, instead of Gary sitting awkwardly at the end of the bed like a child waiting for a telling-off it’s –
He shakes the thought off.
“Go on then,” he replies, nodding towards the bed. “On your front. And off with those shorts, eh Gaz?”
Jamie’s never felt right using that nickname for Gary, but it’s a necessary evil. ‘Cause otherwise he’d just be a man asking another man to strip for him. So: Gaz it is.
Gary rolls his eyes but he shifts his shorts off – he’s got black boxers on underneath, big fucking surprise. Jamie could’ve told you that without even needing to look; he’s pretty sure it’s the only kind of underwear he owns.
Jamie goes into the bathroom to fetch the hotel-brand body lotion trying to pass itself off as fancy, then he hovers awkwardly at the edge of the bed, kind of half-kneeling half-standing next to Gary as he tries to work out how to do this in the least questionable way possible.
“Where’s it worst?” he asks, cringing at the way his voice cracks, just a tiny bit. Probably not even noticeable.
Gary hums in thought. “Hamstring,” he says simply.
Well, duh.
He eventually realises that Jamie’s not making a move because he needs more information, so he takes another second then says, “uh, think it’s the centre muscle. Maybe six inches up from my knee.”
Jamie spreads his hand over the back of Gary’s thigh, runs a firm line over the muscle with his thumb. “Here?”
“Hmm, bit lower maybe.”
Every muscle in Gary’s thigh is tight, left unattended for god knows how long. But Jamie knows it when he’s got it, feels the hard knot of muscle that makes his whole leg twitch when he presses into it. Slowly, slowly, he starts working at it, tries to stay gentle so he doesn’t put Gary off when he’s just barely started.
“Mmph,” Gary says, his voice muffled by the pillow, “you’re not bad at this, y’know.”
Jamie digs his thumb into the muscle hard, just ‘cause he can. It twitches involuntarily under the pressure, and Gary lets out a displeased, squeaky sort of hum. Then, after a few seconds, he watches smugly as the tension holding Gary’s entire body rigid starts to fade, as he relaxes back into the mattress.
“I’m serious.” Gary tries to twist around and look at Jamie, moving to prop himself up on one elbow. Jamie pushes him in the shoulder so that he lies back down. “D’you take a class or somethin’? Don’t think I’ve had a half-decent massage since before I retired.”
“Bloody cheapskate,” Jamie mutters. Because of course Gary would never go out and pay for a massage. Though to be fair to him that’s probably less because of the cost and more because it’s never occurred to him that he might need one. “No classes, no. What, you think I can’t just be naturally talented?”
He can practically hear Gary rolling his eyes. “Just tryin’ to make conversation, James. Makes it less like I’m just lying half naked in a hotel room while another man feels me up.”
“Steady on, lad. There’s a long list of people I’d rather be feelin’ up right now than you.”
“Mmm,” Gary says. He sounds softer than Jamie’s used to, less frantic. “You do this for Nicola? She’s into her running, right? Bet she appreciates havin’ a masseuse at her beck and call.”
Jamie freezes, just for a moment. The sun beaming through the windows is warm on his back, and if he closes his eyes he can almost convince himself that he’s some other place, some other time. In his memories it’s always summer, warm and hazy and sweet. God, Carra, no wonder the girls all like you so much.
He shakes himself back to reality, back to Gary and his troublesome hamstring – or rather now his calf, because as Jamie works his way down his leg he’s realising there’s not a single relaxed muscle in his body. Typical Gary, of course.
“Not for Nicola, no,” he says, all light and conversational like. “She’d rather go to a professional. No need to risk my meaty hands making things worse.”
“Oh, right.”
Who, then? Gary kindly doesn’t ask. After all, he’s the expert in half-truths, in talking his way neatly around a subject until you forget the question ever crossed your mind.
Gary’s still built like a defender. Solid, stocky. Thick thighs that were never going to make him a sprinter but could get him in the air, could win him his fair share of tackles. There’s a faded surgery scar on his knee, a few more scattered over his ankle, his foot. Jamie’s not sure he could name a single footballer that doesn’t have scars like that.
Is all this really worth it? he’d asked once, a few lifetimes ago. He’d got a call from Mo, late evening, and he’d gotten straight into his car and driven half an hour to find him home alone, lying on his plush carpet with his face twisted in agony. And the only person he’d tried to call was Jamie. He always used to call Jamie.
Don’t be stupid, Carra, he’d said. He’d been trying to sound confident, cocky, but it had been through gritted teeth as Jamie tried to ease his leg back to a useable state. Of course it’s worth it. He’d let out a cry of pain that shot right through Jamie, that made him want to fold in on himself, then he’d looked him straight in the eyes and said it again. Of course it’s worth it.
“Sometimes,” Gary says now, interrupting the scene in Jamie’s mind, “sometimes, when it’s really cold I still feel an ache in my foot.”
Jamie’s nowhere near his foot, so he’s not sure why he’s bringing it up at all, but then –
“Becks used to get the same. An’ it’s so stupid, isn’t it? The things that make us – but every time I feel it, I wonder if he’s feeling it too. And I wonder if he’s thinkin’ the same about me, d’youknowwhatImean?”
The Foot, the papers used to call it, and The Foot’s Best Friend. Jamie kneads his fingers into Gary’s calf, thinks about all the times he’s gone through the same motions a on slimmer pair of legs, wonders if Michael ever thinks about calling him again when he’s in pain. Feels a twinge of guilt that he doesn’t ever really think about Michael at all.
He clears his throat. “That any better?”
Gary shuffles to sit upright, stretches his leg out like he’s testing it still works after such a grievous injury as the minor hamstring pull he’s suffered. “You know what, I think it actually is. Thanks, Carra. Maybe I should keep you on retainer, eh?”
“Not enough money in the world, Gary, this was a one-time offer.”
#carraville#footyrpffictober#yes it's day 2 and already i am posting Late in the evening.#in my defence i had class tonight. no i did nothing else the rest of the day and couldve been writing instead <3#anyway. jamie giving gary a massage like sure hope this doesn't awaken anything in me!#gary suspecting its something to do w mo. and trying to bring the topic up carefully by mentioning becks#can someone PLEASE get these men 6-8 therapy sessions#drabbles
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Are ppl still getting thousands of notes on posts talking about “guilt tripping ppl into reblogging donation/ gazan,” posts bro
#no way#‘it’s too much uh what do you want me to do about it’ like oh brother it’s oh woe me shit with these ppl#they do this all of the time when it comes to black and brown ppl dying#just continue to look away like you’ve been doing instead of speaking on how it’s too much for them when they don’t have to live through#the shit personally#it’s so?#like I get it but it’s weird to me personally#they did this shit during blm#it’s not that hard to share a dono posts either man do what you want but to use the ‘I feel like ppl are trying to make me feel bad for not#talking about/sharing posts is mean-‘ shit is so played out man#just blocked op of the post the post is full of wp coping and going on about how they went to therapy and that they don’t feel guilty for#not talking about the genocide or sharing posts anymore like lol#weird
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unmedicated adhd will have you scrolling through the same posts on your dash for the third time, asking yourself How Do I Leave the House, hoping the answer somehow appears in the posts
#guys. how do you leave the house xdddd asking for a friend#what am i waiting for. why am i still here writing this fucking post instead of just getting up. and going#i need to get some groceries 😭#god this sounds so stupid I WISH I WAS JOKING#i love a brain that works.#btw i did 5/7 tasks#so success!!#now im hungry but GUESS WHAT.#ughhhh#niki.rambles#okay. heres the deal. i post this and IMMEDIATELY get up.#i need this on the record because otherwise we'll just pretend i didnt say that#okay lets go#this is therapy. self therapy or whatever#oh my god i need to shut up#IM JUST FULLY LAUGHING AT THIS POINT WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME JKGJKJKHJ#hovering over the post button overthinking like hmm shouldnt i add something. do i have more to say maybe i have more to say. maybe i shoul#ramble some more. maybe theres more thoughts- GIRL JUST STOP. STOP AND GO JFC#great glimpse into my stream of consciousness#executive dysfunction at its finest#i need to launch myself into the sun
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I mean yes, definitely, but I also just really like projecting lmfao
#Those characters I like?#Yeah they’re me now sorry#I based their characterization on parts of my own personality#And how I reacted to being in similar situations or how I think I would react if I was in the same situation as them#Is it a character study of my personal representation of these characters#Or am I actually secretly character studying myself#Is this therapy?#This counts as therapy right#I’m not allowed to got to therapy lol#So I will instead project on my sillies and secretly vent about my own experiences through the voices I give the sillies#That’s healthy right I’m like 99% sure that’s a healthy coping mechanism#Who needs therapy (me) when you can hyperfixate on a character who has gone through far worse but similar things to you#And then let them heal and be cared for#Except you’re actively projecting on them so it’s basically you who’s healing#See. See what I did there#I’m so smart#Im gonna therapy myself one way or another#Wether I’m allowed to go to therapy or not PARENTS#Yeah. Take that. Teenage rebellion moment#I’m therapy-ing myself#🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
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