#i did send a long feedback message to them yesterday

[davinciae]

btw for my bookish beloved besties i found this book tracking site storylace yesterday which uses quests in addition to your regular reading challenges. it’s in open beta still and has quite a few glitches but it looks like it could grow into something fun

[soobrat]

this isn't whining, this is an explanation and a request for information. if not, I may not be active anymore

So recently I've become a more disciplined and driven person. If you don't know, I'm in college and I have a job. I've recently realized my dream and have set aside hours of my time to dedicate to it. I've also put more time towards things like skincare and exercise and meditation etc. Why am I saying this? Because after hours of productivity, I have a gap. Free hours where I don't have anything that needs to be done. This is where I decide to write for you guys. And every time I do, I wonder if it's a good use of my time. I wonder if I should use that little time for video games instead.

You are free to ignore this, but just being transparent, that makes it more possible that I don't log in again. I used to be afraid of addressing this head on as to not offend or upset you guys, but honestly vitriol and annoyance would be better than the embarrassing silence I'm met with. This isn't coming from high levels of emotion, I'm actually very calm and kind of excited to finally get this off my chest. These are just the facts of what's going on in my brain.

If you just want to know what to do to guarantee I'll stay, scroll to the bottom of this. If you don't care that much, that's cool too.

I'm working on Mosquito part three because I realize it's been much too long since it's been updated. I'm busy, but still. And I can't even have fun with the story I admittedly really like because the entire time I'm overthinking. You see, when a story doesn't get notes, that in itself isn't the problem. The problem is what's in between the lines. Did this not get notes because people didn't like it? Does this topic bore them? Do they not like idol/celebrity aus? And while I'm writing, I can't stop nitpicking what I think is causing the eerie silence.

I used to be spoiled. Fics like loosen up, brat/slut, oblivious were very well received. I would be reblogging feedback constantly, see notes fill up my notification center, I would get the message. I did take a lengthy hiatus and stopped updating as fast, but when I finally came back, people would never guess my follower count by my engagement.

Don't be fooled though, this number has been hovering around this for possibly a year, maybe even longer. It dips and then rises by a few and then dips again. Repeat. I started to think that this just wasn't a lot of followers. In the grand scheme of things, it ain't. But then I look on my dash and see a writer thank their readers for 300 followers. I click on their page and a fic they posted yesterday have ONE HUNDRED times more notes than a fic I posted several months ago. And it's not just a fluke, most of their fics are this way. People who have been writing as long as I have and have a similar follower count (I assume) have very high note counts as well. Some of them even have spotty posting schedules and have had lengthy hiatuses.

Again, I want to stress that this isn't coming from heightened emotions or jealousy. Honestly it's mostly confusion. Wondering if I did something wrong. The closest I've gotten to getting emotional is with the embarrassment. I see other creators get flooded with asks and response to their normal posts just talking about their day. And when I do it, radio silence. Again, this sometimes happens with writers with a fraction of my follower count.

I'll make a confession. I have been sending myself anon asks. Which ones are me? That's for sherlock holmes to deduce. Why did I do it? I've already admitted it, it's embarrassment. I feel embarrassed when I post something and am met with crickets. I honestly feel pathetic.

I am diagnosed with anxiety so I'll chalk up the following to that: I have come to the conclusion that I annoy you guys. Even that I annoy other writers since I don't have many writer friends on here. It's gotten to the point where I feel like every interaction I make with anyone on this website in any way is annoying someone. When I changed my theme and no one commented on it at all, My mind automatically went to "God the theme is obnoxious and embarrassing" and I already want to change it despite all the time I put into it.

Can you see now why I dread opening up Tumblr? I dread opening up docs of my fics for this reason. Idk how to transition so I'll just pivot to my next point.

My fics have a head scratching amount of notes. This started around when I posted Industry Babies and Amusement, when I was genuinely shocked by the lack of notes. I stopped Mortal Sin out of embarrassment because I posted a part and it only had ONE note for DAYS. Let me show you the best performing recent fic:

This is Mosquito pt. 1. I'm very proud of this! It made me so eager to continue the series. In hindsight, this is still a negligible amount of notes, and a chunk of these are ICYMI reblogs from me, but I'm still happy about it. Here's part two even with a lot of ICYMI reblogs:

I'll be honest, this was a head scratcher. This has barely budged since then, too. The message I ultimately received is that people won't read if there is 0 smut. Well? That fucking sucks because this is a slow burn fic! And honestly I don't want to throw in Soobin randomly fucking random girls just so people will read.

I also recently posted the final part of FUML. Final parts always get the most notes (I always assumed people just skipped to the last part which always perplexed me) and here's how that did (with ICYMI reblogs):

This is so so good and I'm so grateful. And it got a lot of notes very fast.

Now I did two requested fics, mind you this is the amount of notes they got with NO ICYMI reblogs:

Now, I'm about to say that this is pretty damn good, because I actually think so and I'm thankful for it. But every so often I kinda sit there and think about how it feels like I'm begging for pocket change. This feels so conceited and ungrateful of me. But remember, the reason why we're even talking about this is because my time has become a lot more valuable, and to be frank, the notes are making writing fanfics seem like a bad way to spend my time.

I'll be sad to go, but after all this, you have to understand while I'm hesitant to stay. I'd have to be a narcissist to think anyone actually sat and read through all this so I'll do a little TL/DR:

The lack of engagement has changed from a little disappointing to mixed signals being sent about what you guys want (hence all the polls)

The lack of banter and casual asks or just engagement to my casual posts has made me a little embarrassed compared to writers with similar follower counts or less followers

The simple act of not liking a post affects the overall notes and can harm the chances of a fic being posted, or send a message about what you want to see

I get the unreasonable feeling I annoy you guys and other writers so frankly it makes opening tumblr or interacting with this blog in any way just. not. fun.

I forgot to add this in the doc but to be frank (again), it kind of annoys me to see a fic get little to no interaction, and then I reblog a picture of an idol and all of a sudden my followers are acting. Juuuust being honest.

As a reader who doesn't want to see you go, what can I do?

Be honest! Now, I'm not asking for lengthy dissertations on why my writing is bad. I'm not looking for writing criticism. What I am looking for is for the people who are silent readers or just straight up scroll past what I post, tell me why. Don't be afraid to hurt my feelings. Is it my posting schedule (or lack thereof)? Is it because you just don't feel the same as you did when you read my older stuff? Or do you just never bother with pressing the buttons? The silence is worse than whatever you have to say.

Let me know that you always press like on my fics, but are just a bit shy and don't like leaving comments or asks. This is totally fine by the way, knowing you exist is enough.

Be more active from now own, reply to posts, send asks, reblog and just keyboard smash in the replies. ANYTHING is good. Don't take this as me scolding you, just as a suggestion in case you wanted to know how to help.

I won't be sending myself anons anymore (yeah... if you missed that, scroll up the the indented section) so if you see my blog in it's natural dead state, disrupt the deadness! You'll actually make my day.

If this flops, I'll still proooobably use my main acc. But honestly I'll probably just be on my poll acc (@kpolls ) because it's actually really fun lol. See you all on the flip side!

Mal

[dees-writing-corner]

forever and more - chapter 5

word count: 2107

pairing: ateez x fem!reader

warning: none

if anyone wants to join the taglist, just message <3

feedback and theories are welcome, please do send in any that you have, I would love to hear them 👀👀

also, thank you @layzfeelit for being my beta reader 🥰

masterlist

previous

Sighing, I placed my mug on the counter before looking up at Mingi and San. 

"Alright, out with it. What's going on with the pair of you? Do I have something on my face? Because the two of you have been staring at me since we woke up." 

The two looked at each other for a minute, silently debating who should ask the question. 

"So," Mingi looked back at me, cautiously opening his mouth. "Did you have any weird dreams last night, like you were floating or something? Or feel something weird?" 

"Huh? What?" 

"You were just very, umm, active? You were moving around quite a bit." 

Tilting my head to the side, "No dreams or anything, it was actually one of the most peaceful nights I've had in a long time." 

"Right, we were just -" 

'Ding Dong' 

Furrowing my brows, I leaned forward and looked down the corridor. 

"Was that – is that our doorbell?" 

Looking back at the boys, they both looked just as confused as I did. 

San nodded, "I believe so, yes." 

"Since when have we had a door -" 

'Ding Dong' 

"Oop, never mind, let me just answer that real quick." 

Hurrying down the corridor, I opened the large wooden door and was met with a familiar-looking woman. 

"Hi, can I help you with anything?" 

"Good morning, dear, I'm here for Yeosang." 

Stepping aside, I held the door open, "He's in town right now, but he should be back soon. Why don't you come in and wait for him." 

Closing the door, I led her into the living room. 

"Would you like anything to drink? Water? Tea?" 

"That’s quite alright dear." The woman looked at me for a minute before recognition lit up in her eyes. "Your Jenna's niece, aren't you? Y/N, was it?" 

Smiling slightly, I was a bit confused, "Yes, that's right. Were you and my Aunt Jenna close?" 

"We were best friends. I used to come up every weekend and she would always mention you at some point. Jenna was really fond of you." 

Laughing, I nodded, "That does sound like her." 

"Oh, where are my manners. I'm Janice Hunter. You can call me Mrs Hunter." 

Ah, that's why she looked familiar. She was the one who wanted to talk to Yeosang yesterday when we were in town. 

"Hey, who was it at the -" Mingi and San froze at the archway. "- door." 

Mrs Hunter turned to look at the newcomers and the moment she saw them, a smile spread across her face. 

"San! Mingi! Oh, it's so good to see you again! It's been so long!" 

Arching a brow, I tilted my head to the side, my eyes travelling between the three of them. 

"You, uh, you three know each other?" 

San snapped out of whatever daze he was in and hastily nodded, "Yeah! Remember when Mingi and I would use to go to that little, like, café slash bookstore to study? Well, Mrs Hunter owned it." 

Mrs Hunter looked back and forth at us before her gaze landed on San and Mingi, "Yes. I used to own a coffee shop with my husband." 

Squinting my eyes at the two, I nodded, still sceptical at what they were saying, "Right." 

Hearing an engine in the distance, I glanced out the window, "Ah, that would be the boys. Excuse me for a minute, I'm just gonna go help them." 

Opening the door, I walked towards the car, where the boys were getting everything out of the boot. 

"Hey, Yeo?" 

"Yeah?" 

Taking the bags from his grasp, I motioned my head to the house, "Mrs Hunter is in the living room waiting for you." 

Yeosang blinked, "I'm sorry, she's what?" 

"She's in the living room. Waiting." 

Yeosang made a face before jogging into the house. 

Looking away from his figure, I looked back at Jongho. 

"Where are we bringing these to?" 

"The old servant's quarter at the back of the house." 

"The old ser – eh?" 

Jongho chuckled as he started walking along a path at the side of the house. 

"Come on. I'll show you where it is. We use it as extra storage space now." 

Yeosang led Mrs Hunter into the study on the third floor. 

"What brings you here today, Janice?" 

Yeosang sat down at a desk, Mrs Hunter in front of him. 

"Remember what I said yesterday? I found out who has the head." 

Yeosang leaned in closer. 

"Garett Killins has it. You know him, right? He's the -" 

Yeosang's face darkened at the mention of the name. 

"Of course, I know him." 

"Well, the pack are in the area right now. It's best to make a move soon. Though I must warn you, they are guarding the head. It won't be easy to get." 

Yeosang nodded, "Thank you, Janice, we'll figure something out." 

Mrs Hunter got up from the chair, "Well, I'll be off then. I still have to head over to the blood bank to get some more packs." 

Hearing the door shut, Yeosang got up from the chair and made his way to the window. 

"I take it that you heard?" 

Yeosang's gaze never left Seonghwa's figure as a someone materialised beside him. 

"Of course. We best make a plan quickly. I want my head as far away from those mutts as possible." 

After we finished dinner, I went into the living room to look for my phone before spotting it on the mantelpiece. 

Slipping the phone into my pocket, my gaze landed on the little wooden box beside it. Gently unclasping it, I opened the lid and saw an old metal key inside. Picking it up, I saw something engraved in the handle. Basement. 

Frowning, I started to walk around. I didn’t know we had a basement here. 

Walking into the corridor, I looked at all the doors lined along it. Stairs, dining room, ballroom, parlour. I knew all these. 

Moving into the kitchen, I sat down at the table, leaning into the chair as I crossed my arms across my chest. Where else could there be a door? 

Turning my neck aside, I loosened some of the tension in my muscles. 

Looking back ahead, my gaze landed on the tapestry next to the fridge. It was long enough to cover a door. 

Getting up, I walked over to it and pushed it aside. There was nothing. It was just a wall. 

Running my hand over the wood, I paused when felt a draft. 

Okay. Maybe not just a wall. 

Moving my hand up, I felt along the wooden panels until one of them wobbled under my fingertips. Gently pushing into the panel, it swung open. Behind the wooden panels was a worn oak door.  

Holding up the key, I slid it into the lock and turned. 

‘Click’ 

Turning the doorknob, I pushed the door open. In front of me was a dimly lit stone passage. 

Closing the wooden panel and door behind me, I moved along the passage. Stopping at the top of some metal stairs that spiralled downwards. 

Pulling out my phone, I turned on the flashlight and looked down. These stairs went deeper than I thought. 

Carefully making my way down, I noticed drawings and runes carved into the stone wall. They looked exactly like those engraved on the handrails in the stairway. 

Reaching the bottom, I flipped the light switch and watched as rows of lights flickered on, one after another. 

The basement was huge, and it had corridors that led to God knows where. Walking to the middle of the room, I looked down at the table there. It was a large, circular wooden table that had jars and books on it. On two sides of the room were walls covered in shelves, one had old leather-bound books and the other had jars of liquid and herbs. 

Walking over to the books, I scanned over them. The Green Witch: Your Complete Guide to the Natural Magic of Herbs, Flowers, Essential Oils and More. Witchcraft: A Handbook of Magic Spells and Potions. 

Why does Aunt Jenna have a basement full of witch stuff? 

Raising a brow, I pulled out ‘The Witches Book of Self-Care’. 

"Huh. Even witches had a self-care guide." 

Curious, I flipped through the pages, stopping when I saw a letter. 

Taking it out, I noticed that it was addressed to me. 

I just knew you were going to pick this book. 

Hello, Y/N. 

If you're reading this, then it's because I'm dead. This means that Rora Manor and everything inside it will be yours. 

I know that you probably have a lot of questions, and you'll find the answers to them, just not in this letter. 

What I'm going to say is going to be a shock to you, but you must believe me on this. 

Your parents and I have kept a secret from you. We didn't think you could handle it. But seeing as we're all gone. You have to know. 

We're witches. 

Our family have worked with hunters for centuries. More specifically, the Harpers. 

Quickly reading through the letter, I shook my head in disbelief. 

Was this some sort of joke? 

Clutching the letter in my hand, I made my way upstairs and towards the living room. 

As I made my way closer to the living room, I could hear people talking in hushed voices. Slowing down, I quietly walked over. 

"...how long do we have left?" "she's almost ready to...." "I may not have enough..." 

"What's going on?" 

Everyone whipped their head around to look at me, but my gaze never left the blond man standing in the middle of the room. 

"You – Your- Your" 

The man grinned before walking, no, floating over to where I was. 

"Hello, I'm Hongjoong." 

Blinking, I looked through his slightly transparent form. 

"You –You're supposed to be dead." 

"Not quite. My body's just in pieces." 

Walking past him, I stared at the others with wide eyes, "Please tell me I haven't gone crazy and that you can see him." 

Wooyoung quickly got up and ushered me into a seat, afraid that I was going to faint. 

"Listen, we know it's a-" 

Wooyoung was cut off by someone opening the front door. 

"We're back. The pack of wol-" 

Yunho stopped in his tracks when he saw me, causing San to bump into him. 

"What are you do- oh." 

The second my eyes landed on their form my heart stopped. They were covered in blood. 

"Is that – Is that blood?" 

"Don't worry. It's not theirs." 

Turning my head to look at Yeosang, he looked confused as to why everyone was staring at him. 

"What? I'm just trying to ease her worry." 

Shaking my head, "I – That doesn't – If anything, it makes me more worried." 

Closing my eyes, I put my head in my hands. 

"You know," Jongho moved from where he was leaning against the wall. "You're a lot more calm than I thought you would be." 

"If I went into hysterics now, I might just not come out of it." 

The next few hours were filled with a lot of explaining and if I'm being honest, I'm still hoping that this is just a very long nightmare. 

"Okay, I think I've got it. So, Yunho, Jongho and Yeosang are vampires. Wooyoung, Seonghwa and Hongjoong are witches. Hongjoong is only temporarily a ghost because his body is in bits. This is where I come in. I have some powerful magic that is currently awakening, and once it's at its full power, I can do some finger waving and piece the body back together." 

Looking up, I saw them all nod. 

"San is a hunter from the Harper family and Mingi is a human turned phoenix. The only reason San is still alive and Mingi got turned into a phoenix is because you eight are connected and when you tried to save San and Mingi's life, something happened and now everyone can't die." 

Seeing everyone nod again I threw my head back. 

"And here I thought Supernatural's plot was ridiculous." 

Standing up, I made my way towards the stairs, "I think that's enough for one day. I'm gonna go to bed and hopefully, when I wake up in the morning, I'll just find out all of this was just some weird dream. Goodnight." 

Walking up the stairs, I looked at the pictures that hung along the wall. When my gaze landed on one of a forest, a sudden dizziness took over me, and before I know it, everything went black. 

The last thing I heard was the panicked shouts from the boys. 

next

taglist: @marievllr-abg @jackinmyarea @lexiigom @nichobins @babyhailey819 @darkdayelixer @starillusion13

[niuniente]

Hi again Niu, it's the wee baby beginner tarot reader anon. I wanted to pop in to tell you I saw your thank you post, so your message definitely reached me :3

I'm so happy to hear that the reading was helpful! That was actually the first reading I've ever done for someone else. I saw your original post asking for a reading, I happened to have some free time and my deck was right there, so I thought maybe I could at least try and see what came out. I wasn't expecting much since I haven't been reading very long and I still feel like I'm a newbie a lot of the time, (I'm actually the same anon who asked you about alternate interpretations for the 5 of wands back in July when it kept coming out in readings I was doing for myself,) but I figured I should try because it would at least be good practice doing a reading on a different subject than I usually read about for myself.

I certainly wasn't expecting to hear that it was so accurate! That genuinely shocked me in the best way. I had a huge smile on my face all yesterday afternoon after I saw your post. I've mostly just been doing card a day draws every day for myself to learn the energy of each card across the different decks I have, and bigger spreads when I have a bit more time. But its been hard to objectively tell if I'm getting better at reading the cards when my only feedback so far has been going back through my tarot journal to check how accurate the readings I did for myself weeks or months ago turned out to be.

I have a history of struggling really hard with learning new skills and not getting any better at them even when I'm practising and practising consistently for long periods of time. I assumed it'd be the same with learning tarot and so I haven't had enough confidence as a reader to even offer to do readings for anyone I know irl. But something about your post made me really want to try and help if I could.

So I think Spirit was being a bit cheeky with the both of us and tossing us at each other when we both needed it. Because your message made me so happy and gave me the confirmation I didn't know that I needed that tarot is something I should keep going with and that I am actually getting better at it as I practice and maybe I shouldn't second-guess myself so much.

(Also, I wish you all the luck with your future spouse if that was him showing up as the chariot driver. That is such a cool bit of feedback to find out about that I really feel like I was picking up on without knowing specifically what it was!)

I am SO HAPPY to read this message of yours, and love that you've kept me updated like this about your tarot (and divination) journey <3

The Spirit definitely was a bit cheeky, but the Universe does have a great sense of humor :D

I'm super glad to also see that based on my last tip - see what's the image on the card and how is it - was so helpful to you that you were able to interpret the reading you did to me by underlining what you saw on the cards, and what they meant to you regarding my situation. And you caught up with that skill so quick!

Give yourself A BIG HUG! I will send you a spiritual hug; may it appear to you as a form of a sudden gift or good luck :3

[sunnyrealist]

Chapter 11: Forget-Me-Not

The Sun, the Moon, and All Our Stars

Summary and Details...

Chapter Background and Summary: Kate and Sebastian parted ways due to his refusal to give up the dark arts. Some time has passed. Neither of them can stop thinking about the other. Sebastian finally broke down and wrote a letter to Kate, begging for forgiveness, telling her he still desperately wants to be with her, and asking if they can meet. In this chapter, Kate sorts through her conflicted feelings as Sebastian sends messages in the form of flowers.

Pairing: Aged-up, post-Azkaban Sebastian Sallow x female OC (Kate Mayflower)

Trigger warnings: None for this chapter. Please note - while minors can pretty safely read this chapter, this story is quite explicit and minors shouldn't be reading the entire thing.

The full chapter is available below the cut, along with the AO3 link. Any kind of feedback would be greatly appreciated. A comment, like, or Kudos would make my day.

Chapter 11: Forget-Me-Not

“...and now he sends a flower stem to me daily,” Kate explains, setting down the teacup.

It’s an unseasonably warm Sunday morning in Hogsmeade. Kate sits outside of Steepley and Sons tea shop with her best friend in the entire world, Pearl Abbott. Aptly named, Pearl’s gray eyes sparkle in the light. Her striking white-blonde hair is pulled into a bun. She holds a parasol to protect her delicate alabaster skin from the sunlight.

Kate had asked her to visit, wanting to get her advice about what to do about Sebastian. Pearl had listened intently as Kate told her the entire story of how they met and got to know each other. Kate even told her that she and Sebastian had slept together. Pearl didn’t interrupt much at all, simply nodding in understanding to everything Kate detailed. However, she did make a comment that Kate had not been very stealthy on her birthday. Pearl and her boyfriend - now her fiancé - Felix were the last ones in the Leaky Cauldron at night; they had noticed Kate speaking with a handsome man, and then, coincidentally, he left just a few moments after she did. Pearl just knew these things - Kate couldn’t hide much from her dear friend.

“Just a stem?” Pearl asks with a confused tone. ��A single flower stem every day? That’s odd.”

“Yes. I’m positive they are from him,” Kate replies confidently. “I think he is trying to send me messages through the flowers. He told me the night that we met that he knew all about the meaning of flowers.”

“Really? Then what message did he send you?” she inquires, sipping her tea.

“Several. He’s been sending them since Tuesday,” Kate explains with a little smile. “The first was a purple hyacinth. It means he is seeking forgiveness. Then, he sent Sweet William. That symbolizes a broken heart - the pain of rejection. I think he wanted me to know how sorry he is and how sad he feels that I won’t accept him as a lover.”

Pearl’s eyes widen. “Wow. I’m surprised a man knows that much about flower symbolism. But, then again… he’s potentially your match, and you know everything about plants and flowers, Kate… it makes sense. Did he send more?”

“Yes. Then, a Forget-Me-Not, which is self-explanatory. A Dianthus came on Thursday - that one symbolizes gratitude. It’s like he wanted to say that he either hopes I won’t forget him or that he is still thinking of me, and he feels thankful we met. On Friday, a Daffodil - those symbolize rebirth, new beginnings. He wants to start over again,” Kate stares off into the distance as she speaks. Now, she looks down, blushing. “Yesterday, there were two. They were pretty intense - Larkspur and Coreopsis. Larkspur is code for first love; Coreopsis symbolizes love at first sight. I don’t know what to make of that. He is being quite forward…”

“Wow,” Pearl responds, lifting her eyebrows. 

“And this morning, I received honeysuckle. That means longing for a lost love and continued devotion.” Kate paused. “You know me. I overthink things… but I put it all together because I just had to. So far, Sebastian is basically telling me, through flowers, that he is sad and sorry and longing for my love. He is saying that he fell in love with me at first sight and that I am the first person he has ever loved. He’s grateful to me, still devoted to me, and will never forget me. He very seriously wants another chance.”

Pearl inhales. “And what are you going to do?”

Kate is quiet for a moment, looking distressed. “I don’t know, Pearl. I really don’t know. I… I don’t know what to do…”

“Kate. Stop waffling. What do you want? Right here and now?” she demands in a firm tone.

Kate exhales, and as she looks at the ground, she finally says, “I want to be with a Sebastian that doesn’t lie. A Sebastian that is willing to change because he wants me that badly.” Her eyes suddenly grow wet. “But I’m so afraid, Pearl. He will probably just hurt me again. I need to be smart. I always make mistakes with love…”

Pearl takes her hand. “You love him, don’t you?” she asks in a quiet voice.

A tear falls from Kate’s eye. “Oh, I couldn’t possibly… we only knew each other for half a day…”

“Kate… are you sure?”

She meets Pearl’s gaze. “No…” she whispers. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I can’t stop thinking about him. But… Pearl, don’t you think he’s dangerous? Should I really be in a relationship with someone like that?”

Pearl shrugs. “Why do you care what I think? It’s your life. Live it. Stop thinking about me. Stop thinking about what other people are going to say.”

Kate barks out a laugh. “Pearl. Imagine my parents. My mum. How could I ever tell them? I couldn’t do this to them…”

“When has anything they thought stopped you before?” Pearl retorted. “They didn’t want you to move out, but you did. They didn’t want you to live so far away, but you do.”

“I guess…” Kate hesitates. “Pearl, please just tell me what you think. I need help.”

“Look, if you want my advice, this is what I say. Don’t dive into a relationship right away. Make him work for it. See if he sticks around. See if he changes. And don’t sleep with him until he does,” Pearl tells her.

Kate nods, considering this. “Pearl, I think you’re right…”

Pearl chuffs. “Posh… I know I’m right!” She holds out her hand to point out the shiny new engagement ring. “Trust me. I know what I’m doing!”

They both crack up.

The week passed by slowly. Anxiety ruled her daytime thoughts like a tyrant, but dreams of affection and desire staged a nightly coup. Most nights, she touched herself, imagining Sebastian on top of her, his freckle-dusted face pink with exertion, his lips pressed against hers, his brown eyes filled with adoration. 

Monday morning: A pink camellia. Longing.

Tuesday evening: Honeysuckle. Devotion.

Wednesday evening: A cornflower. Hope in love.

On Thursday morning, Kate surveyed the eclectic collection of flowers she had placed together in one vase. All of his messages, ones he knew she would understand, were sweet and thoughtful, but the rational part of Kate’s brain rang alarm bells. Two warring sides constantly occupied her mind. 

I might love him.

It couldn’t be love. 

I can’t stop thinking about him. 

I barely know him.

Sebastian will do anything for me.

He won’t. He’ll disappoint me.

I can’t deny my feelings.

You might have to.

Sebastian will change for me.

He’ll always choose dark magic over me.

He’s my soulmate.

He’s a criminal. A murderer.

The past doesn’t define the future.

History repeats itself.

I just want to let go and love him.

Be careful, Kate. Guard your heart.

Catching Kate staring into space for what must have been the eighth time over the course of a few hours, Madam Scribner eyes her suspiciously. “What has gotten into you today?”

Kate smiles dreamily. “I’m meeting someone tonight. A man I really care for.”

Madam Scribner cracked a rare smile. “Well, may he be worthy of you, dear.”

Kate’s eyes went wide, reminded of the logic she was missing in the moment. 

“Who is he, Kate?” she asked curiously.

“Oh… you would know him, Agnes,” Kate began cautiously. “You definitely know him. I don’t dare say his name - he says he was in trouble with you often.”

The head librarian frowned, furrowing her eyebrows. “That doesn’t narrow it down much, but most of my former students grow to be mature like you with age.”

Kate gave a half smile, sighing. “Yes. People change…”

As Kate’s work hours came to a close, she whispered a goodbye to Madam Scribner, then darted out the door. She couldn’t get home fast enough. There was so much she wanted to do before meeting Sebastian, and she had only a little time. She wanted to wear a beautiful dress, to style her hair, to dust just a bit of makeup on. At the same time, she didn’t want to overdo it, to tip him off to her feelings.

Nerves set in as Kate stands in front of a full-length mirror, suddenly feeling as though it looks like she is trying too hard. The silken crimson dress is more appropriate for an elegant formal dinner at someone’s home. We’re going to the Three Broomsticks, for Merlin’s sake! Kate huffs, unbuttoning the dress quickly and stepping out of it as it falls to the floor. 

She surveys her undergarments, then shakes her head. Why the hell am I even thinking about my corset? He will not see it!

Kate rushes into her closet, trying to find a more casual dress, one that is appropriate for walking around Hogsmeade during the day. She settles on a pale yellow dress embroidered with tiny white flowers. As she fastens all of the buttons, she rehearses in her mind what she will say when Sebastian inevitably asks if she could accept him as a lover. 

Several minutes later, Kate angrily tries to get her hair to cooperate with so little time left. She styles her hair half pulled back, half down, tying a white ribbon around the little ponytail on the back of her head for a feminine touch.

Glancing at the clock, she is painfully aware she has to leave. Now, she doesn't have enough time to walk there, which was her plan. She’ll have to apparate.

Kate hurries towards her front door but stops as she sees the bouquet once more. She takes a moment to smell the sweet flowers, sighing in delight. What a lovely message they convey. 

She calms herself, thinking as clearly as she can about the entrance to the Three Broomsticks, and suddenly, she is there. Approaching and opening the doors breathlessly, she gathers all of her courage. As Kate’s eyes adjust to the dim lighting of the pub, she searches for Sebastian. Eventually, she spots him sitting in a corner, intently reading a book. 

Kate’s breath hitches as Sebastian’s brown eyes flick up to hers.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Portrait of a Dangerous Man🎨3

Warnings: (series) non-consent sex and rape; slow creep; cucking; (this chapter) sleep paralysis, stress.

This is dark!mob!Clark Kent x reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your dream of having your work hung in an art show comes true but your first buyer is not all he seems to be.

Note: I’m so happy people are liking this story. Thanks so much to everyone reading and sorry if I’m a bit inactive lately, I’ve been exhausted and yesterday didn’t end, I swear.

Thanks to everyone for reading and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 As usual, I’d appreciate if you let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

On Monday, you yawned over your keyboard as your fingers moved on instinct alone. Your eyes ran along the text but the words were just letters to you. You had a lot to think about, a lot to do. 

You decided you would skip lunch and get through your work day an hour early so you could head to Clark’s right away. He was hard to deny when he asked if you could make it back so soon. You told him you worked everyday from home and you had hours beside that at the gallery three times a week at least. He accepted it with a nod but his silence was telling so you caved and said you could make it but not until the evening.

You texted Marcus as you waited for your Uber. He had a few hours to go still and you left him everything he needed to make supper with instructions; the veggies were cut, the meat thawed, and the pans already arranged on the stove. You had faith he could manage on his own.

The mansion was just as intimidating as the first time you visited. You walked up the drive and to the front steps. It was human nature to be envious of the sprawling yards and lavish estate and yet, it didn’t feel as if someone could truly live here. It would be like staying in a hotel as you were always overly aware of your every move, afraid to break something or make a mess.

You hammered the large knocker when your soft tapping brought no answer. You heard someone on the other side and wiggled your foot nervously. The door opened and square-faced woman greeted you in another language. You couldn’t tell if it was Swedish, German, or some other dialect. You were never a skilled linguist.

“Um, hi, I’m…”

“Ah, you are the lady painter,” she said, “I remember. I am Nina, Mr. Kent’s housekeeper.”

She turned and beckoned you to follow her. You closed the tall door and trailed her across the spacious foyer and behind the stairs into the kitchen. She turned through another room and led you out through the glass doors that opened onto the pool.

“Miss, would you like a drink? Tea? Coffee?” she asked.

“No, thank you,” you said as the water moved and your eyes were drawn to the figure moving beneath the surface.

“Miss,” Nina nodded and left you.

You stood, awkward and listless, and glanced around at the loungers and the umbrella over the round table. You weren’t entirely sure what to do. Had he forgotten about you?

“Hey,” your gaze was drawn back to the pool. Clark waded to the edge, his broad shoulders and chiseled chest visible as he made his way to the shallow end, “sorry. Lost track of time.”

He grabbed the metal railing and climbed up the stairs. The water slaked off his tight trunks and down his thick thighs. He appeared even larger with less clothes. You looked away before your thoughts lingered too long.

“It’s fine, I should have texted I was on my way,” you said, “I can go wait for you--”

“No worries,” he took his towel and rubbed dry his dark hair. The scruff along his chin was thicker than before, almost a full blown beard, “you’re not in a hurry, are you?”

“No, not really, can’t really rush… painting,” you shrugged, “I just… I didn’t mean to catch you off-guard.”

“Pfft, I’m ready for anything,” he grinned, “but I should also listen to the artist. I’ll go get changed and you can get settled in the studio.” He directed you ahead of him as he approached the sliding doors, “you just finished work? You should take a few minutes to unwind.”

“Uh, yeah, but it’s just, um, typing, not exactly hard labour,” you said as he followed you inside.

“Work is work,” he said, “I will never fault anyone who works hard, regardless of what they do.”

“Yeah, I suppose,” you stifled a yawn behind your hand.

He let out a breath as you came out into the foyer, “I’m sorry, you could’ve… you’re tired. We could have rescheduled. I’m sorry if I came across… pushy yesterday. I don’t mean to take advantage of you.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you assured him, “I’m fine.”

“Alright,” he said doubtfully, “but you let me know if you need a break.”

“Will do,” you murmured as you neared the stairs.

🎨

You weren’t even close to done just the background of the portrait. Clark really didn’t even need to be there as you shadowed the folds of the curtains around his figure and the marble bust. Your arm hurt from reaching across and up the gigantic canvas and your eyes burned from squinting at your work.

You backed off the ladder carefully with your paintbrush and palette balanced in one hand. The paint was drying and you needed to mix more. You set down your armful and wiped your hands on the rag. He was watching you, he was always watching you. Well, no, he was just looking in your direction; it was all for the portrait.

You hit the button on the side of your phone and gasped. It was midnight. You had several messages from Marcus and you blanched as you unlocked the cell and quickly texted back. You rubbed your eye as you hit send and turned to Clark.

“I didn’t realise it was so late,” you said, “I gotta go.”

“What time is it?” he asked and looked at his watch, “oh.”

He pushed himself to his feet with a grunt and stretched out his arms as he neared. You took your brush and rinsed it in the tinted water in the jar.

“I’ll just clean up as I wait for an Uber,” you said as you let the brush rest in the jar and lifted your phone again.

“I’ll drive you,” he said as he grabbed a rag, “it’s a long way. I’ll hire a driver for you from here on out. It’ll be easier and cheaper.”

“You don’t have to--”

You flinched as he wiped your cheek with the rag. He smiled and showed you the paint on the white cloth.

“I wouldn’t offer it if it was too much trouble,” he tossed the rag down, “and I did have something to talk to you about. The drive will be more than enough to get it sorted.”

“Oh, okay,” you eked nervously. Had you done something wrong? Were you not painting fast enough?

“I’ll meet you downstairs,” he touched your arm gently.

He left you and you finished scraping off the palette and cleaning your brushes. You dumped the jar in the sink just inside the nearest bathroom and rinsed the porcelain back to white. You left everything arranged neatly on the table and descended to the first floor.

Clark stood by the door in a different jacket, his tie gone and the top button undone. He held the door for you and showed you to the garage. There were at least a half-dozen cars inside and he took you to the same silver one he drove the night of the show. You settled in and groaned as the tension left your shoulders.

He started the car as the doors rose behind him and he backed out smoothly. He turned down the long drive and onto the desolate roads of the wealthy countryside. He kept one hand on the wheel and dropped his other to his thigh casually.

“So, your job, you like it?”

“It’s work,” you said, “I get paid to sit at home and type. Half the time, I’m just waiting for an assignment.”

“I asked if you liked it,” he said more pointedly.

“Oh, well, not… really?” you answered, unsure. 

He could be so pleasant and then so blunt. He made you nervous and the more you thought of it, the more you realised you knew almost nothing about this man besides his name. You didn’t know how he made his money or what exactly he did outside of his extravagant mansion.

“If I doubled your fee, would you quit?” he asked without hesitation.

“Quit? This… the painting won’t take forever,” you said, “I can’t really just drop everything--”

“This is an opportunity,” he said, “you could spend your days doing what you love. And who’s to say it’s just one painting? I already have something in mind for the dining room and I have friends asking about you.”

“Friends? Who--”

“One thing at a time,” he said curtly, “I’ll introduce you to them in time. Is it a deal?”

“I… it’s all very sudden, can I think about it?”

He looked at you in the rearview and you caught his eye. For a moment, you were afraid. There was something in his expression that left you breathless. He lifted his hand and stretched his arm between the seats, his fingers gripped the leather just above your shoulder.

“Sure, I’ll give you a couple days,” he said at last.

“I--I’m sorry…” you didn’t know why you were apologizing but it felt appropriate, “I just, I’m tired.”

“It’s fine, sweetheart,” he assured and the epithet hung in the air.

“I have to go to the gallery tomorrow, I’ll get back to you on Wednesday,” you said as you rubbed your chin nervously. Your lips was quivering. He was smiling but you felt his impatience in the small space of the car, “if I… if I say yes, I have to talk to my boss and that might get messy.”

“No problem,” his voice softened, “you take some time and figure it out.” His thumb rubbed the leather seat and he pulled his arm away to grasp the steering wheel, “why don’t you close your eyes. We got some time left.”

You peeked over at him and nodded. 

“Okay,” you murmured and hugged your bag against you as you tried to relax against the leather. You turned your head and looked out the window up at the starry sky. You closed your eyes as the fatigue settled over you but you could only fake dozing as your nerves stormed inside of you.

He was right, it was a great opportunity, but you just couldn’t believe it would last. Was it your own doubt getting to you? Or should you be weary of this fairytale buyer? It was late and you couldn’t think. All those worries could wait until tomorrow.

🎨

You crept into the dark apartment. It was after one and you foresaw a long day ahead of you. You’d get maybe four hours in before it all started again. You put your purse down and went into the bedroom, undressing in the shadows and crawling into bed next to Marcus as the colours of the tv moved around him. The playlist he was casting kept on even as he slept.

He grunted as you laid on your back and he turned to graze your arm with his fingertips. 

“You’re home,” he grumbled and kissed your cheek, “I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, “I… it’s so far out there and it’s a lot of work. The canvas is like nine feet-- I’m sorry, I’ll let you sleep.”

“No, no, it’s okay,” his voice was gristly as he propped himself up on his elbow, “you’re gonna finish the job right?”

“I don’t know,” you said, “I don’t know if I can.”

“Of course you can,” Marcus insisted, “I mean, at that price, you can do anything.”

“It’s not about the money, Marcus,” you huffed, “I don’t know if it’s worth all this. Going back and forth…” you ran your hands over your face, “he wants me to quit my job and just paint for him.”

“You should,” Marcus said blithely, “why not? He’s paying you well enough.”

“And what about when I’m done,” you whined.

“You’ll find more work. Vanessa even offered to take on more of your work in her shows, so what’s the problem? Isn’t this what you want?”

“Y-yeah, it is but… I don’t know, it just seems too good to be true.”

“You do this and we might even have enough for a down payment,” he said, “something had to give after all these years. Why can’t it be this?”

You looked at him and tried to smile, “you’re only saying that because he has a pool.”

“Maybe,” he kidded, “but I also want it for you. You spend all your free time painting anyhow so why not get paid for it?”

“Mhmm,” you mumbled, “yeah, I just don’t know why I feel so… I don’t know. It just all seems off.”

“Sleep on it, you’ll feel better,” he leaned over and kissed your lips that time, “love you.”

“Love you,” you echoed as he grabbed the remote and shut off the tv.

You closed your eyes as the darkness shrouded you and despite your anxiety, you fell into a deep sleep. You didn’t even roll onto your side before you sank into your REM but found yourself caught in limbo. The abstract and intense sensation of paralysis overtook your body and your eyelids flicked open.

It was an awful feeling you knew too well. You knew you were dreaming, you knew it was all in your mind, but your body was filled with sand and your subconscious conjured visions of doom. The tall man stood by the door as he always did and just stared. He got closer, just a little at a time, and you fought to move just a finger and free yourself from the trance.

You felt like you were drowning as your body remained heavy and unmoving. He was getting closer and closer. As he did, his figure changed and his shoulders got wider as his features came clear in the slat of the streetlight that leaked between the curtains. It was Clark staring down at you, his blue eyes sinister and sparkling. 

He reached for you and you woke with a start as your name rose from his lips. You inhaled sharply and looked over at Marcus as he snored. It was only the two of you. You reached for your phone, it was just after three. You turned onto your side but your heart still raced. It always happened when you were stressed, the dreams felt so real that you never really came back down after.

You stared at the wall and curled up under the blanket. You didn’t expect to get much sleep anyway, not with the question on your mind. Should you quit and live your dream or should you kill all hope before life did it for you?

[nerdlifecentralsblog]

Unknown Secrets [5] - repost

Summary: Crowley and Rowena work at keeping suspicions off of the reader’s back while the Hunters get close to nowhere in their searching. Y/n discovers a possible pattern that could lead to Asmodeus’ whereabouts and even more answers relating to her lineage.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, reader, Gabriel (mentioned), Castiel (mentioned), Mick, Ketch, Rowena, and Crowley

Pairing: everyone platonic

Genre: Angst, bit of fluff

Word Count: 3,800 :O

Warnings: n/a

A/N: Merry Christmas SPN Family!!!! I wasn’t planning on finishing this chapter until after Christmas but consider it an early gift from me to you. Hope y'all enjoy it and would love to hear your feedback! <33

I wake with a start and take a few calming breaths and look around the living room. “When did I even fall asleep?” I only hope today isn’t nearly as nerve-wracking as yesterday was, I should probably call Ketch and let him know I’m with my “experts” and that they’re working on solutions as we speak. But the very thought brings back anxiety.

“Good morning, y/n. Sleep well I assume?” A deep British voice says from behind me. I sit up on the couch and see Crowley standing with his cellphone in hand. “My mother had to run some errands and test some theories she has about helping you stay hidden.”

I nod and say, “You certainly like to sneak up on people, Crowley,” the demon pockets his phone and chuckles.

“What can I say, it’s a hobby of mine.” he winks and continues, “The Winchesters are probably getting antsy, I figured it would be a good idea to go and give the boys a visit. Let them know that you’re safe and all.”

I nod, thankful I don’t have to be the one to lie on the spot. “Thank you, Crowley. What exactly are you going to tell them?”

“Nothing far from the truth, darling,” he says, smirking, “that you came to my mother for help and she asked for my help as well. If they try to push any further, I can just call them morons for suspecting you.”

I can’t help but laugh, Crowley smiles at me and he suddenly disappears. “Does he just follow the Winchesters around or something?” Though I’m grateful he went to tell them in person, I still wish I could hear what was going on.

I hear the front door click and a pair of heels walk inside, the door closing behind them.

“Hey, Rowena,” I call from my spot still on her couch, “go on any wild adventures while you were out?”

She laughs, her red curls bouncing as she unloads bags from her arms onto a side table near one of her armchairs. “No adventures this time, just calling in a few favors and catching up with some fellow witches.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. She never talks with other witches after she was practically a laughing stock after trying to create her “Mega Coven”.

“But enough about me,” she says, placing her large purse on the same table from last night. She walks into her kitchen area and continues, “how did your chat with Arthur go last night? By the time I came back to check on you, you had fallen asleep.”

“Well, I still feel horrible lying to him, but I don’t think he suspects me.” I follow her through her house and take a seat nearby where she was working in the kitchen, making even more tea and humming in acknowledgment. “But now I don’t know how to keep this up, I mean, these people have been hunting their whole lives and are famous for being paranoid. And to add to it, I have a message from Sam asking how I’m doing and to call him when I get the chance.”

She sends a quick sideways glance in my direction but doesn’t respond. I don’t have any ideas and frankly, the silence is welcomed.

Unfortunately, the silence doesn’t last long as I hear my ringtone go off from the coffee table in front of me. I pick it up and see Sam’s contact light up. Rowena immediately gets up and stands behind me as I answer with shaky hands, unprepared to talk with the Hunters again.

“Hey, Y/n?” Sam asks, although it was a little hard to hear him.

“Yes?” I respond, “it’s a little hard to hear you, Sam, are you guys on the road or somewhere with choppy wifi?”

I hear him huff a tense laugh and vaguely hear Dean on the verge of yelling. “Yeah well we got a surprise visitor and Dean and Gabe aren’t exactly thrilled with his appearance.”

I groan in frustration, I’m sure that it’s Crowley bugging the hell out of them rather than actually explaining what’s going on. Of course he had to leave all the hard lying to me. “Put me on speaker, will you? It’s gonna be a lot easier to explain what’s going on if I can just talk to everyone all at once.”

“Sure thing,” he responds, “alright, Y/n, you’re on speaker.”

“Um, hey guys, how’s the search coming?” I say, my leg bouncing with nerves.

“Hello, Y/n,” Cas responds, sounding extremely tired. Probably from dealing with everyone arguing about who knows what. “We don’t have anything yet, only the information we already knew about lightning storms and other demon signs here.”

“Okay, and what was all the shouting about?” Their end of the line went silent, “I’m assuming it has something to do with Crowley being there.”

“And how exactly did you know that?” I hear Dean say, I think he moved closer to the phone because his voice is much clearer than before. “You send him here or something?”

I roll my eyes even though the only person who can see it is Rowena. She chuckles and leans over me to speak into my phone, “You really think my son listens to anyone but himself, Dean?” She gives me a small wink and leans back indicating that’s all she wanted to say for now, placing my phone back on my lap as I hear Dean mutter something on the other line. I know Mick and Ketch have told me about Dean’s grumpiness, but it is insanely irritating to be trying to have a conversation with him while he’s in a mood.

“Wait, Rowena’s with you?” Sam asks incredulously, as someone slams the motel door. I can only assume it was Gabriel as I’m sure he wants nothing to do with demons and was already on edge with the Asmodeus situation.

I hear Crowley sigh loudly, I can just see his eyes rolling. I also hear someone’s footsteps walk toward the phone, “Helpful as ever, mother,” Crowley responds, “if you would all stop acting like morons for two minutes I could actually explain what’s going on here.” Now it’s my turn to sigh, if he’s gonna explain what’s happening then why the hell am I even here?

“No offense, Crowley, but I’d much rather hear what’s going on from y/n,” Mick speaks up, “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am much more inclined to believe her.”

Crowley huffs and I can only imagine the eye roll Dean gave at his dramatics.

“If you insist, Mick, I would love to enlighten you, boys,” I say with a fake smile, hoping they could hear it in my tone and believe it is real. “I decided it wouldn’t be very smart to stay by myself if I really am sick or something else is going on, so I figured I should stay with some experts I know.” I pause looking up at Rowena, not really sure how I should word the rest of this. I’ve never been the best at lying so I decide to avoid a complete lie, though I know I can’t be entirely truthful without having a death wish. She nods in encouragement for me to continue. “Rowena and Crowley were kind enough to help me out and make sure I’m doing okay, I don’t know how long I’ll be with them but I’ll still be working to track any omens or look for possible patterns for you guys.”

I tentatively hold my breath, waiting for some kind of response. I hear the phone be picked up and I assume it is taken off of speaker since the connection becomes a bit clearer.

“Hey, y/n,” Mick says quietly. “I know this is scary for you, especially with Gabriel practically running you off of this case, but you know you can come to me or Ketch with anything right?”

My eyes begin tearing up hearing Mick talk so openly and kindly to me. I’ve certainly known him and Ketch the longest and I trust them both with my life. I can’t handle actively lying to them and not being able to come to them with my anxieties. Both of my boys calling me makes me realize how much harder coming clean is going to be; it’s not like I can drop off the face of the earth and disappear without anyone trying to look for me.

“Y/n? You still there, love?” Mick’s voice brings me back from my racing thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry I’m still here,” I respond, willing my voice to not crack. Turns out my willpower isn’t that strong as my voice is super quiet and breaks at the end of my sentence. I hear Mick sigh sadly on the other line as we sit in silence together for a moment.

Mick breaks the silence, empathy evident in his tone, “Are you safe? I know you are more than capable of handling yourself, but I want to make sure you’re also able to recover from this without driving yourself to a breaking point.”

I nod and respond, “Yeah, I’m safe here. I wish I could be there with you and Ketch but I know it’s best to stay away in case this is some kind of bug or something that can spread. I don’t want to get in your way.” I can tell my last comment upset him, even though I can only hear Mick I can vividly see his brows furrow in concern.

“Y/n, you don’t need to ever worry about being in the way. I can’t speak for the Winchesters or the bloody angels, but just know that both Ketch and I miss you, and he would really love a call from you when you feel up to it.”

I smile into the phone. The Brits aren’t really known for being endearing very often, but I know they are both making an effort to be available to me in their own ways.

“I’ll call him a bit later, I should really try and get some research done for you guys. Pretty sure the addition of Gabriel and my absence ruined any chance of there being brain cells left for you and Ketch to abuse.”

Mick chuckles quietly saying, “Alright, love, I won’t keep you any longer. Don’t forget to call and lend us that brain of yours.” He says teasingly.

I laugh and promise to catch up later, then I hang up on him. I didn’t even realize I had been crying until Rowena gently hands me a box of tissues and walks off to the kitchen. I hear her moving around, I realize she is making more tea as she places her tea kettle on the stovetop.

I decide I might as well start researching now so I can be sure to call Ketch later with more info on the surrounding towns. I have a feeling Asmodeus wouldn’t stray too far away from me without good reason to. From what other Hunters at my bar have been telling me over the past few months, nothing crazy or demonic has happened. Although no one around here knows what Princes of Hell are so there is always a possibility they simply weren’t seeing the signs.

Rowena walks back in and places two teacups and a kettle down on the coffee table in front of the couch and occupies the seat next to me as I grab my laptop out of my backpack. I smile as thanks to her and start up my computer.

I spend most of the day gathering as many weather reports from surrounding towns that date back to forty years ago and writing down any possible anomalies or patterns; since that is also when the lightning storms in Dubuque began. The only real breaks I take are when Rowena practically forces me to step away from my computer for some food, and most of our conversation is filled with what I’ve discovered.

Sometime in the afternoon, Crowley walks through the front door with a look of almost boredom on his face. “Hello, mother, y/n.”

Rowena waves and I respond, “Hey, Crowley, how did babysitting go?”

“Absolutely horrid. I honestly don’t understand how they can get anything done with the constant bickering.” I laugh at his exasperation. I was only with all of them for a day and it was pretty overwhelming. “I will say, the smartest thing they did was calling you.”

I shake my head trying not to laugh, “Did they make any progress on any leads?” I ask, hoping that they decided to pursue other possibilities other than the idea that I’m the nephidemon.

“Well, not really. They are still wasting time searching in Iowa for Asmodeus’s child,” oh no, they better not have done any other spellwork. Crowley softens his gaze, “don’t worry, they didn’t do anything magic-related. And anytime any of them tried to bring you up or suggest calling you again I tried to shoot down the idea.”

I sigh in relief. I know that if they tried to replicate Rowena’s previous spell it would only solidify in their minds that I’m the enemy right now. I can’t believe Crowley actively stuck up for me though, I know he said he would help but lying to that many powerful people and angels is extremely risky.

“Thank you, Crowley. I have another question though,” I really want to ask him if any demons he knows of are hanging around in the towns surrounding Dubuque.

“I am an open book, darling. What do you need to know?”

He responds. Rowena steps out gathering the teacups and kettle, giving me and Crowley the opportunity to have a little bit of privacy.

“Well,” I say, “I’ve been doing some research on the smaller cities surrounding Dubuque, and I’ve realized that every five years there have been regular lightning storms and even crop failures in the towns that grow enough crops to track that kinda thing.”

“Okay, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary, y/n. Crops fail all the time and electrical storms coming and going like that isn’t enough evidence.”

I hold my hand up at Crowley’s comment. He raises his eyebrows and moves to sit next to me on the couch, waving to continue my ideas. “That’s what I thought at first too, but here’s the thing, every five years on the same day the electrical storms and crop failures stop in one town and move to another. Five years later on the same day again they move to a third town. Wanna guess what happens five years from then?” Again I only receive an eyebrow raise and wave to continue, “It goes back to the first town. And, each of these towns are exactly four miles away from Dubuque.”

“That is very compelling, my dear, but how can you connect any of this back to Asmodeus?” Crowley asks sounding slightly impatient.

“That’s also what I was thinking, so I did some more research into Asmodeus himself, and turns out, he is the Fourth Prince of Hell.” Crowley’s eyes widen in surprise and recognition. “There’s one more thing,” I add, a bit hesitant as Crowley leans in interest sparking in his eyes. “The day Asmodeus switches towns is always on my birthday.” He leans back into the couch and lets out a puff of air.

“So what I’m hearing is that Asmodeus supposedly stayed in Dubuque for twenty years, had the nephidemon -” “You mean me.” I interrupt, but he narrows his eyes and continues, “then continued to stay in the towns exactly four miles from your town for what reason?”

I shake my head at his question. “Who knows why that demon does what he does, why bother trying to figure it out when we know the patterns of where he will be every year?” Rowena exclaims, her heels clicking against the floor as she struts into the room.

“That’s something that I’m sure Sam and Dean can overthink into creating a solution for us,” I suggest while grabbing my phone and searching for Ketch’s phone number. The phone rings twice before Ketch picks up.

“Hey, y/n! Feeling better I hope?” I can’t help but smile at Ketch’s warm greeting, though the warmth is quickly replaced with anxiety.

“Hey, Ketch. I’m feeling a little bit better, you sound a bit tired, are you okay?” I ask, partially to pass the conversation off of me but also in concern for him. It’s no secret that Hunters tend to keep emotions and worries holed up inside and the exhaustion lacing Ketch’s voice is concerning to me.

“I’m doing all right, love. Trying to ensure this town’s safety is all, plus,” he whispers, “you’re the only American I can deal with, and being practically holed up with these American Hunters is driving me a tad insane.”

I chuckle softly and he does the same. “Could you put me on speaker for a sec? I’ve been doing some research and I think I might have something.”

“You mean to say you didn’t call just to have a pleasant conversation with me?” I roll my eyes and wait for Ketch to do as I asked. “Alright, love, you’re on speaker now.”

“Okay, so as I just told Ketch I’ve been doing some digging and I think I might have found something demon-related.” I hear slight shuffling sounds coming from the phone, probably the boys grouping around the phone to hear me better. “Basically, my thought process was if we are thinking that Asmodeus stayed in Dubuque to try and throw off any suspicions that his future child would bring, he most likely isn’t still there.”

“Why do you say that?” Dean asks sounding unconvinced.

I sigh and reply, “Because it would be way too risky. A Prince of Hell and his kid hanging out in the same town for years? There’s no way Hunters around the country wouldn’t recognize the signs and go after them. Anyway, I was checking out the neighboring cities to see if any demon omens were happening and they are, in a very specific pattern too.” I paused taking a grounding breath, Crowley scoots a little closer, giving me some assurance as I continue to tell the Hunters on the phone about the cattle mutilations, electrical storms, and the small number of crop failures in three of the towns.

“How far are these towns again, y/n?” Sam asks.

“Oh yeah! Each town is exactly four miles from Dubuque.” It’s probably best to leave out what date these issues occur on, I’m trying to throw suspicion off of me and I doubt revealing my birthdate would truly do that.

“Even if it isn’t Asmodeus, I’ve been wanting to kick some demonic ass today,” Dean spoke up. I chuckle at his response, though I’m very grateful they are still willing to take care of my town while I’m not there.

“That’s not very nice of you to say. I might feel threatened.” Crowley butted in a playful smirk on his face.

“Y/n, can you take us off speaker for a second?” Mick asks, sounding a bit uncomfortable.

I look over to Crowley a bit confused, Mick never sounds like this and his tone is putting me on edge. “Um, yeah, one sec Mick.” I respond, Crowley rolls his eyes and gestures vaguely to himself as he scoots back to give me a bit of privacy.

“Y/n, love? You still there?” Mick says from the other line, I don’t know why he’s so worried and I’m also not sure if Ketch’s phone is off speaker yet.

“Hey, Mick. Um, why did you want to talk privately?” I question.

“Well, are you sure you’re safe there? I certainly trust that you can handle yourself, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re working hard on this case with us, but I want to make sure you’re not in danger…” He trails off.

“If you’re asking about if I’m safe where I am geographically speaking then yes, I’m in one of the safest places I could think of. I am also with the safest experts I could think of other than you or Ketch.” I pause, hoping that Mick doesn’t worry as much about me. I want him and Ketch to focus on hunting Asmodeus and keep me completely out of their minds.

“If you say so, it’s just,” Mick pauses, a sigh leaving his lips, “you know me well, love. I don’t trust easily and I certainly don’t trust demons. So, if you’re feeling up for it, I know that I would feel better with you here. Even if you stay at your home or here at the hotel all day, simply knowing you’re nearby would greatly ease my conscience.”

I drop my head and try to come up with lies or excuses as to why I can’t go back yet, I’m not ready, and what happens if Castiel or Gabriel try to use angel powers and check up on me or something? What if they find out that I’m a monster?

“I know you might not be ready yet, but just know that I’m here if you want to talk through anything.” Mick brings me out of my panicked thoughts. I’m very grateful that he has given me some time to decide.

“Well, I’ll definitely need some time to decide, I would love to be back with you guys and work the case. But I have to be certain I won’t pass out again or cause for you guys to waste more time on me when we need to focus entirely on hunting down Asmodeus and getting some answers.”

“I understand, y/n. Just, take care of yourself and give me a call tomorrow, okay?” I nod.

“I will, Mick. I love you and Ketch for looking out for me, make sure you’re both taking care of yourselves, okay?” Like most Hunters, when the Brits are on a tough case they tend to forfeit sleep and mental health until the monster is dead and people are safe.

He huffs a laugh, “We’ll try our best, love. You keep resting and get your strength up and call us whenever you’ve decided.”

I promise to call tomorrow and hang up with one last goodbye to Mick before he hangs up. Although I am terrified of the idea of being surrounded by these relentless Hunters, I know the situation can also get so much worse if they become suspicious of me while I’m staying with Rowena. I can’t let her earn more enemies because she chose to help me, it’s time to finally face the music.

[littlemixnet]

Perrie Edwards: ‘I've learnt to embrace what makes me different, not hide from it’

As she launches her new Disora collection, Perrie opens up about learning to love her freckles, her top beauty secrets, and her adorable friendship with Zendaya. Perrie Edwards has been busy. Following the news in December that Little Mix would be going on hiatus, she's been frantically working on a new collection for her fashion label Disora, which she launched just two months after giving birth to her first child – a baby boy named Axel – with longterm boyfriend Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain. “I did everything all in one go,” Perrie tells me. “Being in the studio writing and recording, then having this business on the side – creating and building something from scratch, continuously learning new skills in an industry like fashion – all while being a new mum… Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself. It's been really fun. It's been absolute carnage, but it's been fun.” The carnage was worth it. Disora's brand new Neutrals Collection drops today – a range of super-soft basics made from organic cotton, including a hoodie, wide-leg jogger and oversized tees – and if the brand's past success is anything to go by, the products won't hang around for long. Disora's first collection, DS001, sold out within 48 hours. “Seeing all the numbers go up, seeing things sell out, then hearing all the amazing feedback about how much people loved the products, I couldn't believe it,” she says. “It's just been amazing.” Here, Perrie shares her beauty secrets, the ‘amazing’ support of her bandmates Jade Thirlwall and Leigh-Anne Pinnock, and the power of embracing who you are… What's your aim with Disora? I've just always loved fashion – from high-end, statement designer pieces to everyday essentials – and I wanted to build a brand that blended the two together, so it was more accessible to a wider audience. I want collections which are design-led, but with a huge focus on wearability. And it isn't fast-fashion. Sustainability is so important to me; we always keep it in our minds from the design process to manufacturing, to using 100% organic cotton. How have Jade and Leigh-Anne supported you in this next step of your career? They are SO cute. I messaged them yesterday, saying I'd had all the pieces from the Neutrals Collection made in their sizes and would be sending them out tomorrow, and Jade was like, ‘Oh, what a lovely treat for the eye, I can’t wait!'. We're so supportive of each other's business ventures and they're just so happy for me. I told them about launching my own brand years ago, and they were so supportive from the get-go. Who was your style inspiration growing up? I mean, this is so random. But when I was younger, my brother had this girlfriend, right? And she was literally the quirkiest person ever. She never followed the trends. She never wore what everyone else was wearing. She was always outside of the box, wearing what she wanted to rock. Whenever she had clear out of her wardrobe, she'd give me bags and bags of clothes, and I just remember feeling like the happiest person ever. So now I do it too; I have clear-outs and give my clothes to friends, family or charity shops. Oh, and also Zendaya. Zendaya is unreal. She is the queen of fashion. Everything that girl wears is 10/10. You've met Zendaya, right? Yeah, we met on The Graham Norton Show [in December 2021]. She messaged me afterwards like, ‘It was so nice to actually get to see you and hug you’. She's just the sweetest, most humble person ever. What does ‘beauty’ mean to you? It's about having confidence in yourself and believing in yourself. I believe that everyone is beautiful because everyone is unique in their own way. If you're beautiful on the inside, it just radiates out of you. There's not one generic definition of ‘beauty’, because everybody's beautiful in their own unique way. What's your top beauty secret? Those super soft Face Halo facecloths that you get in Boots and Superdrug. Honestly, they take off all your makeup with just water – waterproof mascara, foundation, concealer – everything just comes off. You just stick them in the washing machine and use them over and over again, so much better than face wipes. I buy them for everyone; my mum, Alex's mum Wendy, I've got everyone hooked! If you could go back in time and tell your younger self one thing, what would it be? To not be so insecure. I always felt like I looked different. I even asked my mum one time when I was a little girl, ‘Mum, can you please take me somewhere to get rid of my freckles?’, because I hated them. I used to get picked on in school, and the boys would say ‘Ew, what are those all over your face?’ It was just so awful. All I wanted was smooth, flawless skin with no freckles, no imperfections, no marks. But as I've got older, I've grown to love them. I love how different and unique they are, and they're part of what makes me me. I wish I could go back in time and just enjoy being young, and not feel so insecure. Growing up, I wanted to blend in and just fade into the background. I never wanted to stand out. But as I've got older, I've learnt to embrace what makes me different, not hide from it. What would your message be to any other young women out there who may be feeling like that? Who may be feeling insecure and a bit lost? It sounds cheesy, but always try and look within and find the parts of yourself that you like, and that you believe in. Because I think what's important to remember is that nobody in life ever really wants to give you handout. Nobody wants to hand you things on a silver platter. You have to find the ambition and the confidence and the power within yourself. It has to come from within. So, know that you're one of a kind, you're different, and there is nobody in the world like you – and find your power in that. All we ever do is focus on the negatives – ‘oh, my eyebrows look sh*t today’, ‘my lips could be bigger’, ‘my double chins are out today’ – but let's focus on the positives instead. Let's not waste this one life we have on this earth worrying about silly hang-ups that we can't change. And why should we change them? They're part of what makes us unique. And that's our power.

[candreloup]

I started to read your work and I absolutely love your writing! So I wanted send a request you could maybe do: A timid and shy hero is sent to fight a rather known cruel and flirty villain. But when the villain sees the hero is afraid of them the villain tries to be a bit more softer maybe even going so far as to comfort said hero who terrified of them.

Thank you so much! Also- HOLY MOLY MY OTHER POST BLEW UP AAA- um, thank you guys so, SO much for all the positive feedback and thank you so much to all the people who re-blogged my post! (I woke up and saw that shtuff and went AaaAAAA) Anyways, here's this ask! ('tis a good one :D)

Villain was sick and tired of waiting. If they were going to send someone to confront Villain, they should have just sent them. It made them angrier than they should have been. Maybe it was the fact that they couldn't have a life because of those so-called "heroes", or maybe it was just that Villain was so tired of being so one-dimensional. Of being whispered about, hated and scorned for something that they weren't. The creepy, sadistic villain sitting in their cold stone lair, waiting for the next victim to be sent in.

Villain was still a human. Not some monster to be taken down and killed, not some corrupt evil genius that only lived to harm- they were a human. But everyone seemed to lose sight of that fact.

A knock startled Villain out of their reverie. "What is it," Villain snapped, bracing themselves for the inevitable blustering "hero" bursting through the door, spouting nonsense about how they were going to take Villain down "once and for all". Instead, the door only creaked open a crack, and a timid voice called, "H-hello?"

Villain couldn't help but be surprised. After all, hadn't it been just yesterday that they had received a message telling them that they were "Finally getting what's coming to you" ? Hadn't they seen over and over the brand of person being sent to them, heard the countless rumors and criticisms being spread behind their backs? But this was different. The shy, quiet voice- albeit rather frightened- was new. Sent to take you down. Ha! Hero didn't seem like they could take down a rabbit. Of course, Villain had learned not to judge by the first impression. Who knew what they had hidden under their sleeves; who knew what could happen if they let their guard down. No, for now Villain would simply wait and watch, letting their instinct guide them.

"U-um, I think... I'm supposed t-to be here?" Hero stammered, still peeking through a tiny crack in the door. Villain sighed. Seems I'll have to be the initiator. Hero cracked open the door a touch more, making a small sound of surprise when they saw Villain striding towards them. "Uh, well- um- I d-don't know w-what I'm su-supposed to b-be doing here..." Villain didn't stop. Instead, they made the final steps to the door, forcing it open despite Hero's desperate attempts to keep it closed to reveal a small black-haired head and wide brown eyes, staring up at Villain in fear.

"Come in," Villain growled. Perhaps a tad too aggressive, as Hero shrunk back even further. "Come in," they said again, this time more gently. "I'm not going to hurt you." Hero looked up at Villain's face again, obviously trying to figure out if Villain was telling the truth.

God, they were so transparent it was almost a joke. Villain could almost see the gears turning in their head, see the thought process of "should I trust them?". "Well, don't just stand there," Villain said, getting frustrated with holding the door open. "Come in." When Hero still remained in place, Villain sighed in frustration and pulled Hero into the room. "I told you, I won't hurt you. Here, I'll leave the door open. There. Happy?" Hero's eyes darted nervously around the room, observing and finally landing on the open door. "No. You,"-Villain pointed at Hero- "There." Villain gestured to a couch. "Let's talk."

It was only after a few minutes of Villain talking and too much awkward silence that Hero finally spoke up.

"So... what are you here for? And don't say you don't know. I know you know why you're here. You can't fool me with your feeble attempts at lying."

"Well, I think... they told me to just, uh, come here? And um, well..." Hero glanced nervously at Villain, clearly afraid to finish their sentence. Villain just gestured at Hero to continue. Hero gulped nervously and finished, "They told me to try and kill you." The last words rang out in the empty room, echoing into silence.

"And what do you think?" Villain said softly.

"W-well, I think... maybe you're not such a bad person? And, I don't really know... why? I-I mean, I've heard lots of bad things about you... But, you don't, you know, seem... that bad...?" Hero trailed off, looking down at their feet.

Villain didn't know what to make of Hero. They were so strange, so... different. They came into Villain's lair like a frightened bunny, shaking and stammering and hiding behind doors. They were transparent, naïve and innocent. How the hell did they end up working for the organization? And yet, the change was a welcome one. It felt good, to be finally recognized as something more than just a "villain". To be finally acknowledged as maybe a little more than just a 1d caricature of a person. It was refreshing. And made Villain feel too possessive than they were comfortable with.

"V-villain?"

Villain looked up at Hero again.

"U-um, sorry- you weren't... talking a lot... Did I say something wrong?" Hero looked concerned. Yet another surprise. Villain stared at them for a second before bursting into laughter. Loud, clear laughter that filled the room and lasted for much longer than it should have. "W-wait! Why- Why are you laughing? Villain?"

As Villain's laughter died down and they wiped away tears, still having small bursts of chuckling to themselves, they noticed Hero's clearly confused face. "Um... Why did you laugh? What was so funny?"

"Ah, nothing, nothing." Concern. What a joke. As if a hero coming from the organization could be concerned for the person they were going to kill. That they'd met literally a few minutes ago. The thought made Villain want to laugh again. But for some reason, looking at Hero, the concern felt genuine. They could almost believe that Hero was actually concerned. Almost.

Don't let your guard down, Villain. You never know.

"Villain?" Hero hesitantly raised their hand as if to try and touch something. Then put it down again. "Um, Villain?"

Villain was instantly on their guard, preparing for some sort of attack. "Yes?" they asked warily, waiting for Hero to completely change personality or whip out some sort of secret weapon. Instead, what Hero said caught Villain completely off-guard.

"Um, could I... touch your hair?"

"What?"

Hero went into overdrive explanation mode. "Uh, I know it's a really weird request but, I mean, I just thought- your hair looked- I mean, I think your hair looks really soft, and I just kind of- I mean, maybe I shouldn't have said that but-" Villain cut Hero off.

"Sure." Hero froze for a second. Villain couldn't help but laugh to themselves at Hero's dumbstruck look. I don't even know honestly if they can kill me, even if they tried. "You can touch my hair."

Hero reached out a hand hesitantly. "A-are you sure? I know it's a really weird question..." Villain grabbed Hero's wrist and pulled it towards their head.

"I told you, go ahead."

Hero reached out, softly patting Villain on the head. Villain had a thought as Hero started to touch their head with both hands. What the fuck am I doing? Am I a cat? But that thought left their mind as Hero started to move closer, playing with Villain's hair.

"It's so soft," Hero said, mesmerized. "Um... can I braid your hair?"

A few moments later Villain was lying in Hero's lap as they braided Villain's hair. How did I get here? Seriously... Oh well. Hero's gentle touch and their warmth made Villain drowsy, all suspicious thoughts driven out of their head. If they really wanted to try to kill me, they would have done it a long time ago. Anyways, it felt good, letting their guard down in front of someone. Even if they died here, it would be worth it. This little bit of peace felt heavenly, the soft sound of Hero humming sending Villain slowly to sleep. It was worth it.

The room was cold, full of the quiet sounds of technology working. In the screen in front of them they could see Villain's face, eyes slowly closing. "Who knew the mighty Villain could be taken down so easily by such a simple trap?" A voice echoed through the room, coming from the figure sitting in a chair in front of the large control panel taking up much of the space. Who knew indeed. All along, the only thing they had to do to completely take Villain off their guard was that fool of a Hero, so stupidly naïve and innocent. It was so easy it was almost laughable. Villain, lying in someone's lap and letting them braid their hair? Ha! And yet, a little bit of stammering later and they had exactly what they wanted. God, they were both so predictable. So easy to manipulate. So stupid.

[drmmyrs]

Remember Me (Becca x MC)

So, weird story. I was randomly browsing tumblr one time when this ask pops out at the top of the screen (req about amnesia au Becca’s POV). It wasn’t even related to anything I was reading but checked my inbox and it wasn’t there. Most probably the ask isn’t for me but still wrote it just in case 😅

PS if someone DID send me this ask, kindly drop me a message just so I know I’m not seeing things 😭

PPS I’m trying out a new writing style and I’m not sure if it’s any good so I’d really appreciate any feedback 🥺 (this will be a mini series too, I think, since the angst potential is definitely there 😂)

PPPS title is inspired from the song in Coco just cause I’ve been playing it a lot on piano recently

tag list: @whackawriting @samanthadalton @crazzyplays @uselesslesbianfr @baexpoppy @alexroyard @alexlabhont @veenast @noixngn @sillyandcutewizardstuffs (If you wanna be added or removed or just prefer a certain ship just let me know ❤️)

Pairing: Becca x MC (Emily)

Word Count: 2090

I don't remember what happened, nor know where I am, but I hear shouting, lots of it. I try to move, but my body feels completely numb; the only thing I can feel is the trickle of liquid that splatters across my face. Rain? I open my eyes strenuously, but all I can see past my blurry vision are brown eyes glistening with tears. I can't quite make out her face, but for some reason, seeing her cry sends a flurry of emotions that hurt more than my throbbing head. I try to open my mouth, hoping to provide comfort somehow, but no words come out. She is saying something over and over again, something about leaving? But my head hurts too much to be able to comprehend. A siren then blares from a distance, growing louder by the second as flashes of red cloud my vision. And that is when everything turns black.

I slowly open my eyes–still reeling from the nightmare that somehow felt too real–and harsh, blinding lights immediately greet me. I hastily shut my eyes back and suddenly become well aware of the ache engulfing my entire body. It isn't before long that I realize that someone is holding my hand, tracing lazy circles against my skin ever so often. I try to move it but only manage to lift a finger, and at once, the grip tightens and becomes still for a moment before I hear a voice– How can a voice sound so familiar... yet so strange? It's saying my name, urgent and gentle at the same time as though I might break at any second. I try to open my eyes, but exhaustion grips me powerless. And soon, I succumb to its fiery grasp as I slip back into slumber.

When I wake up again, I already feel much stronger than before. The ache in my body has turned into a dull hum as if sharp nails are gently caressing my skin, enough to be felt but not to hurt. I look around the room, panic swelling in my chest as I take in the sight of different medical equipment looming around my bed and needles sticking out of my arm. I fight the urge to squirm as I take big, calming breaths, ignoring how the four white walls seem to close in on me. Thankfully, the door opens, and a nurse walks in, temporarily distracting me from my distress. She smiles upon seeing me awake and walks towards me.

"Welcome back, Ms. Davenport. How are you feeling?"

"W–where am I?" I ask weakly.

"In the hospital. A month ago, you were involved in a car crash, and your head was hurt pretty badly," the nurse says sympathetically. She is now taking my vitals, scribbling something on her chart from time to time.

Car crash?

I scrunch my eyes, trying to remember, but the harder I try, the more my head hurts.

"Wait. A month? Are you saying that I've been here... for a month?"

The nurse nods. "You've been unconscious the entire time. But your vitals now are looking good. The doctor will just run a few tests to make sure we don't miss anything."

I stay quiet for a while, my mind still processing everything the nurse just said, which has only raised new questions.

"Your friends and family were really worried about you, you know. There wasn't a day when you didn't have any visitors. Especially that special friend of yours you were in the car with." The nurse turns towards me, holding a pen against her chin. "What was her name? Em–Emma, I think? She barely left your side. She actually just went to grab some food before you woke up."

...I don't know any Emma, but I don't tell her that.

"What about my parents?"

"Your mom and sister usually visit during the evening."

"And my father?"

The nurse shakes her head. "I don't think I've ever seen your father."

The nurse leaves after a while, and the doctor comes inside the room shortly. I answer a few questions before I'm escorted outside to take some tests. Afterward, the nurse leads me back to my room and gently guides me to bed.

"Would you like me to call in your visitors?" the nurse asks.

I nod.

The nurse goes out, and soon my mom walks in followed by–

"Emily." I frown. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Both of them stop in their tracks. My mom looks at me in concern and confusion, while Emily looks like I just punched her in the gut.

Anger bubbles up inside me as a realization comes to mind. "Y–you. You're the one who did this, aren't you? You're the reason I'm here."

A guilty look flickers across her face, confirming my suspicions. And before I can stop myself, I shout at her to leave, but she stands there motionless, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

"Go get the doctor," my mom tells her, which snaps her out of her shock. She scurries out of the room at the same time my mom starts walking towards me.

"Why is she here, Mom?"

My mom stops at the side of the bed and reaches out to stroke my hair. "Honey, the accident was not her fault."

"But she was there with me..."

"Yes."

"Why?"

My mom's hand goes still, resting on top of my head. "Becca, what was the last thing you remember?"

"I..." I close my eyes and think hard for a moment. "I–I remember hosting the Kappa party. But that doesn't make any sense. Why would I leave with Emily?"

A brief look of panic flashes across her eyes.

"Mom? What's wrong?"

My mom smiles at me, but it looks forced. "It's nothing, sweetie. The doctor will be here soon."

But I can see that she's trying her best to keep calm–the look on her face similar to when she would talk to my little sister and me right after we would hear her and dad fight.

The doctor comes in a little while later, asking a bunch of questions similar to my mom's. They then do more tests on me, and I grow scared by the minute, not understanding what the hell is going on. Eventually, I'm back in my room alone, my mom and the doctor staying outside to talk. After some time, they enter the room, and my mom sits beside me, taking my hand as the doctor walks towards the other side of the bed.

I look at my mom, drained from all the medical tests I went through the entire day. "What's happening, Mom? I'm scared."

My mom squeezes my hand and gives me a reassuring smile. "The doctor will explain it to you, sweetie. But I'll be right here the whole time." She then gives a single nod to the doctor.

The doctor smiles at me politely. "How are you feeling, Becca?"

I stare at him, suddenly annoyed at being asked the same question over and over again.

"Right then." The doctor clears his throat. "During the accident, your brain was affected more than we initially thought." He pauses, and I meet his gaze, willing him to go straight to the point. "It seems like you have retrograde amnesia, meaning that you have no memory of the past three years of your life."

The doctor goes on and on about the technicalities, but I'm not listening anymore. His voice is reduced to background noise as I repeat his words inside my head, trying to grasp the implications of what he just said. I prop myself up, looking wildly around the room, tugging at my shirt as if it would help me breathe. But it doesn't. My body feels numb, which is why I almost don't notice my mom pulling me into a tight hug, stroking my back comfortingly as she whispers reassurances. I focus on her voice, forcing myself to take deep breaths as I slowly begin to calm down. I pull away after some time, recomposing myself as I find my voice.

"Three years," I whisper.

"We'll help you recover your memories, honey. But for now, you can ask me anything you like."

"I–I think I just need some rest."

My mom nods, helping me settle back in bed before she leaves, promising to be back tomorrow.

Sleep comes easy to me, and I wake up the next day with Madison sitting at the chair next to my bed, browsing her phone.

"Hey, Maddie."

She looks up from her phone, a smile lighting up her face before she practically jumps out of her chair to hug me. "Becca!"

"Ow, that... kinda hurts."

When she pulls away from me, her eyes are teary.

"Sorry, I just missed you so much. You were gone for so long! I thought–"

"Hey, hey, none of that," I say, smiling at her.

She pulls the chair closer to my bed and sits down. "How are you, Becca? Your mom told me about your... condition."

I stare at the ceiling. "Yeah, it sucks." I snap my head back to her. "Tell me something. Do we still hang out a lot?"

"We still meet up from time to time. Not as much as we used to, though," Madison says, smiling sadly.

I nod. "Who do I usually hang out with now?"

"Emily."

I furrow my eyebrows. "Did we become close friends or something?"

"Oh, right. You've only been together for like two years," Madison murmurs contemplatively. "She's your girlfriend, Becca."

I let the information sink in. "You have got to be kidding me." I stare at her wide-eyed. "How–What–Why?"

Madison recounts our 'love story,' each detail more absurd than the last. I don't want to believe any of it, but Emily as my girlfriend... it actually explains everything. I rub my temples. How the hell did that happen? I remember like it was yesterday when she tried to steal Chris away from me. And now... and now...

"Maddie? Can you do me a favor and grab me something to eat? I'm starving."

Madison smiles. "Of course."

Madison goes out in a while, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

***

After a few more days of recovery, I am finally allowed to leave the hospital. Despite my protests, my mom explains that I will have to stay with Emily and her friends at what I assume has been my home for the past two years. She explains that she prefers for someone to look after me constantly, and she will not be able to do that with her job and all.

Outside the hospital, I find Emily waiting near a car; her eyes are bloodshot, as if she hasn't slept a wink in days. When she sees me approaching, her face immediately brightens up. Our gazes lock briefly before I turn back to my mom.

"Are you sure I can't stay with you?"

My mom smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, honey. I wish you could, but..."

"It's okay, I understand."

"Look, I know you don't remember, but these people you've been living with... they care about you very much.”

I nod.

My mom pulls me into a hug before guiding me inside the car, shutting the door afterward. She and Emily talk for a brief moment outside, and I watch as she hugs Emily before walking away. Emily steps into the passenger seat.

Zack, who is sitting in the driver's seat, turns around and smiles at me warmly. "I'm glad you're back."

I shift uncomfortably, ignoring his gaze. "Thanks."

We drive home silently, awkwardness saturating the car space. Upon arriving, I observe the details of the house, seeing if it sparks any memories... but nothing. I see Emily looking at me intently, probably thinking the same thing. They then lead me inside the house, and I step in hesitantly, taking in the surroundings, which vary immensely from the sorority house, the last place I lived based on my memories. Emily guides me to my room, lingering near me as I open the door.

"Becca–"

I turn towards her. "Please don't. I know you think I'm your girlfriend. A–and I guess I was. But as far as I remember, I don't like you at all. So I would appreciate it if you just leave me alone." I turn around and go inside my room, shutting the door behind me. I then lie on the bed, trying to forget how the light dimmed out of Emily's eyes as I broke her heart.

[liibrii]

fem!Miya!reader x Suna Rintarou || mostly platonic || part of the Third Miya series

Synopsis: A glimpse into your friendship with Suna during your 1st year at Inarizaki High school.

Warnings: barely proofread, general stupidity, there's a serial killer joke, reader is a lil shit

wc: 1.6k

a/n: naming chapters is hard 😭 as always feedback is greatly appreciated and if you wanna be tagged in future chapters let me know!

Friendship with Suna is one of those where you can't quite remember how or when it started. One week he was just that lanky guy sitting at a desk to the right of you, the next week you walked home together and you told him your brothers' embarrassing childhood stories in exchange for chemistry homework. In a way it's an echo of all your childhood friendships forged on the beach with other kids you only knew for a week but during that week you'd take over the world for them if they asked. But the one week friendship with Suna became two weeks, three weeks, and after the fourth you stopped counting.

Suna Rintarou is a funny guy. Not funny as in telling jokes or spouting quips and smirks. He's funny in a way that even now you can't really tell who he is. He's quiet. But not shy in the slightest. He moved over from Aichi and you cringe at the memory of saying: “Oh so that's why ya talk funny. I thought yer just pretentious,“ when he told you. Your ears catch on fire by just thinking about it. So embarrassing. But he must have pretty low standards for his friends because at the time he didn't really seem bothered by your slip of the tongue. The next day he offered you a chuupet and that was enough to buy your undying loyalty.

Suna's a funny guy. You don't know how he became your friend, you don't know what he sees in you that makes him put up with you. But you're glad to have an inside man on the volleyball team.

Years of living together with the same person makes one develop the ability of sniffing out trouble before they even start to happen. In this case it's four empty pudding packages in the trash bin that make you decide to nope right out of there before Tsumu tries to blame you for their mysterious disappearance. Again.

You put on music and walk aimlessly through the streets, one of those walks where it doesn't matter if you get lost because you have no clue where you're headed anyway. Everyone needs a stroll like that from time to time. Often they lead to situations that would otherwise probably never happen. Like running into a serial killer, but luck is on your side today so the only person you run into is a familiar lanky figure stretching by the side of the road. “Sunarin! Didn't expect to meet ya here!“

He looks up and his blushed sweaty face wears the same expression as ever. In the last months you've learned Suna has two expressions, the deadpan one, and the deadpan one with furrowed brows. “O, Miya. Well, I live nearby.“ Oh right, you did pass the bus station where he exits just a song ago. “Taking a stroll, are you?“

“Samu and Tsumu are having a screamin' match right now so I decided to get myself out of there before they'd drag me into it.“

“Tragic. Where are you headed?“

Your destination is 'who cares' so you join Suna on a walk. It's good he already ran his evening route because you're not in the mood to reenact a wanna be healthy person's only free time activity.

Just a short walk between the apartment buildings by the side of the road you reach a path of cobble stones that leads further between trees.  

“What? You didn't know there's a park here?“ Suna smirks and you're surprised his face muscles are even capable of stretching so far.

You shake your head, slightly embarrassed. “No, I really didn't. To be fair this neighbourhood used to be ruled by another clan so we never played around here,“ you quickly add as if children clan wars from years ago are a better excuse than simply being unfamiliar with this part of the town.

Suna doesn't comment but the corners of his mouth keep tugging up even after you walk through the park. Or maybe that's because you tripped over nothing while watching a cat cross your path.

“We have a cat back home,“ he tells you and shows you the picture of his little sister with a big fluffy orange cat on her lap.

“So cute,“ you coo, “looks just like ya.“

“Oh yeah, lots of people say she looks just like me. I think I'm more handsome though.“

“No, I meant the cat.“

This time you're the one prepared to jump away form a well aimed kick but Suna only gives you a disappointed glare. “I thought you were the nice Miya.“

You sympathetically pat his shoulder. “Sorry. My sincere condolences. Shall I send some flowers for the funeral of yer last brain cell? Samu always wanted a cat but dad wouldn't let him.“

“Really? Why not?“

“Oh he made the mistake of asking just after the mango incident.“

“The-“

“Only Miyas are allowed to know about it,“ you say, snickering at Suna's furrowed brows. You know curiosity is going to eat at him for weeks to come. Maybe you should come up with a cover story, just in case. “Do ya miss yer friends? Ones from Aichi I mean?“

Suna thinks for a moment, maybe still trying to figure out what a mango incident could possibly be. “Sometimes,“ he says after a while and a poke to his side, “but I met a lot of new people at the dorms. Inarizaki isn't that bad either. There's you and Ginjima, and your brothers sometimes, and ehm,“ he mumbles as he tries to remember whom else he could call a friend.

“If Tsumu or Samu bring this topic up just let them know ya were my friend first,“ you pout. That's the problem with having had siblings in the same class for the entire grade and middle school; all your friends were also their friends. “It can't be easy,“ you say, half trying to make him feel better, and half just changing the topic that's starting to turn his ears red, “movin' over here I mean. Ya really left all ya knew behind for volleyball. That's pretty admirable. Ya just might be as crazy as Samu and Tsumu.“

“Please don't compare me to your brothers,“ says Suna.

“That bad, eh? So what's it like? Livin' in a dorm?“

“Oh. Well. We're four in a room-“

“Yikes. And I thought havin' two other people in your room is a lot.“

Suna laughs. Oh, so he can do that. It suits him, you decide after a moment. “Now take into account that two of those keep leaving dirty socks around.“

“Oh I know what that's like,“ you nod, all too familiar with dirty socks under table, under bed and other parts of bed you'd rather not think about.

“I doubt you'd get in trouble for punching them though.“

“Oh I would.“ You look him over. “Ya don't really look like a punchin' type to me. More a very petty guy. Soy sauce in mornin' tea kind of guy.“

“You're giving me ideas.“

“Thanks, that will be one kit-kat. Or none if ya put some in Samu's water bottle.“

“All in all dorm isn't that bad,“ Suna tells you once you both stop laughing over the prospect of putting soy sauce into Osamu's drink. “Wish I could sleep a bit longer in the morning but what can you do? And I miss mom's cooking. We cook ourselves and the food is good. Usually. It's just not the same, you know? Want a chuupet?“

“Ya brought a chuupet to an evenin' run?“

You still gladly take the fruit stick. It's a rare occasion in which it isn't in danger of being snatched away by one of your co-spawns. You don't comment but the next day a neatly wrapped bento box waits on Suna's table.

Suna doesn't quite remember when you became friends. One day you were a girl from his class that looked suspiciously similar to those loud Twins on the volleyball team (the moment he realised your last name is in fact Miya too he felt incredibly stupid for not noticing sooner), the next day you're hanging with him during breaks and sending him messages along the lines of 'I'll buy you as many chuupets as ya want if ya tell me what happened at practice yesterday, I need to let Tsumu know who's the boss' that usually arrive in the middle of the night. Even if they wake him up your name popping on his screen still makes him smile.

Really it takes impossibly long for Suna to realise he doesn't enjoy being in your presence only because being friends with you is as easy as getting the ball around a block or because you're the one Miya to voluntarily share your food with him.

The moment the cogs finally fell in their place and began to spin, making the little 'there might be something more' thought appear is one he'll remember for the rest of his life, and will quite probably haunt his nightmares too.

That's the thing about emotions (truly the revelations of that day are almost too much for his volleyball focused teenage brain), they take over neurones in charge of sending information around the brain, bribing the ones running toward mouth to run faster than the ones heading towards the comprehension centre, and then you find yourself in awkward situations such as saying your name out loud in the packed locker room followed by: “She's really funny and amazing. I like her a lot.“

But the situation being awkward is the least of Suna's problems as two pairs of almost identical brown eyes stare him down.

Oh, shit.

tag list: @espressons @trashy-simp @nachotrash @megumiisee @foxxtrot-116 @e-wwis​

[justreadingfics]

It’s a Deal (Chapter 2)

Chapter Summary: You did make a deal.  

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Words: 5.5k

Warnings:+18 only, smut, sex deprived reader, boytoy!Bucky, mention to break ups, mention to bad sexual experiences, casual sex, opened relationship.

A/N: You guys and all the feedback you’re giving to this story are just my everything. Thank you for your patience, if you follow my stories for a while you all know I’m a slow writer and not even social distancing seems to be changing that. The link to my masterlist, where you can find the other chapters, is on my description. Feedback is highly appreciated. I was going to close the tag list for this series at 70, but you’ve been really amazing, so I’m extending it to 80 spots for now. All I ask of you is, if you’re tagged and liked what you read, please leave me a nice little comment.  Thank you, @lesqui​ 

 Saturday mornings have always been like any other morning to you. Waking up early, making some black coffee and fixing up something quick to eat . Then checking up on your schedule for the day, which more times than you dare to count consisted of working from home and that’s it. Nothing special.  

But this Saturday morning is nothing like the other ones, this morning has actually already passed since you wake up past noon, a lot later than you’re used to, take a long bath with all the pampering accessories you found in your bathroom - something you hadn’t done in a very long time- plaster your face with a moisturizing mask you’ve bought on a late night online shopping spree and has never used, wrap your body in a robe, your hair in a towel and go to the kitchen to make your usual black coffee but also a few chocolate pancakes as a treat to the atypical hunger making your stomach groan loudly.

ThisSaturday is nothing like the other ones because you have the memory, on your mind and your whole body, of three fantastic orgasms you were gifted with the night before. If it was up to you, Bucky Barnes and his sinful tongue would get all the awards in the world.

While you hum a soft tune and flip your pancakes, the night before replays like a movie on your mind, taking small giggles out of you and causing a warm rush to creep up your neck. The man sure knows his game, touching all the right places, playing with your body just perfectly, luring you into a very much needed and longed ecstasy.  On top of that, he was nothing but generous and seemed to get himself off by getting you off and, now that you’re thinking about it, a man acting that way in bed is something entirely new to you.

You have to send Natasha a present, maybe that expensive vodka she’s always drinking…

The memory of your friend quickly fades and the sinful picture of Bucky Barnes’s face between your legs pops back into your mind as you drop the pancakes on a plate and sit by the counter to devour them with your coffee. What a night you had. The whole no strings attached situation makes it even more… enjoyable, you dare say, much more than you thought it would be. There is no dwelling on whether you should text him to say hello, or call him, no need to hold back who you really are or what you really want in favor to make a good impression, nor to think about meeting friends, family, no fear of disappointments from both sides… it was just plain good old sex, which you’ve realized it’s all you need and are looking for.

You hum at the sweet taste of the pancake and take a sip from your coffee. There’s no worries in your mind, no regrets, nothing like that. Except for one thought: the fact you didn’t even get to see his cock. The bulge alone grinding against you was already impressive enough to make your mouth water… Everything was amazing, more than perfect, actually, and left you completely spent and utterly satisfied, more than you’ve been in a long time, if you’re going to be honest with yourself. But now you only get to imagine how it would be if you two had gotten to the whole package, the real deal…

Unless…

You had thought about that night as a one-time occurrence, something to take your edge off and move on, but...  He did propose a deal… And you did take said deal… to call him if you needed anything… You stare dreamily ahead as you take a fork filled with pancake to your mouth and flashes of the feeling of his bulge pressed against your back, grinding on your core take over your senses… it took your breath away then and just the memory is making a number on your lungs.

You sure have a need now.

Glimpsing your phone over the balcony, you reach for it, loving you don’t have to care whether it is too soon or not to do what you’re about to do…but a new message pops up on the screen as soon as you unlock it. Natasha letting you know she was sent away for a mission with Steve Rogers but should go back in a week and wanted to schedule dinner for you to tell her everything… You type her a quick answer, agreeing on dinner, before tapping on the brand new contact of your list, added by Natasha Romanoff herself.

Bucky “Soft Tongue” Barnes.  

You’ll change it. Eventually…

~~~

“So… my place this time, huh?”

The smirk on Bucky’s lips is cocksure enough to make you take a long sip of the beer he offered you, while he lazily leans his elbow on the backrest of his sofa, supporting his head on his hand. You're thankful for the alcohol and for the fact that, this time, he hasn’t gone straight to business. Yes, you’ve been feeling bold and excited in having those kinds of encounters with a - hot as fuck - guy you barely knew. But this is new, and you know you must be careful and gentle to yourself, so it doesn’t blow up in your face eventually. Thankfully, Bucky seems to read the situation just fine since he’s been in cue with your rhythm from the very first moment.  

“Did you have any other plans?” you ask, biting your lower lip and hoping your presence isn’t actually a bother.

“I was happy to see your text.” Even if his answer is kind of vague considering your question, it eases the tension on your shoulders at his wide and comforting smile, “We did make a deal…” His voice is a tone lower as he peeks at you from under his lashes, taking his beer to his lips.

You take in a deep breath as your gaze drops to his lips, “Yes, we did.” You gulp, as your body tightens, feeling the rise of the tension in the air, enhanced by flashes of last night when you two settled said deal. 

His chuckle is a tad dark and laced with mischief and oh, man it makes your skin tingles when he drags his body just an inch closer, his beautiful blue eyes fastened on you.

“Ahm, Bucky… can I ask you something?” You try not to let your voice come out too small, as the heat of his body rolls off to yours and makes your core flutter.

“Sure.”

“How does this work?”  

He frowns as his head tilts a bit sideward, “This what?”

“This… ahm,” you clear your throat, “Deal…  I mean, I’m pretty interested, pretty, pretty interested.” You stress the word and your eyes widen a bit at the honesty slipping out of your lips, but you realize that’s actually how being around Bucky has made you feel, giving his own honesty behavior with you, just like now when he expresses no kind of reaction that would make you feel embarrassed or anything of that nature, so you let yourself continue, “But you must know I’ve got out of a relationship recently. It was really serious …10 years.” You chuckle when he huffs and takes a sip of his beer, “Anyway, I’m not really sure how to handle this.” You gesture between you two, “Should we establish any sort of rules, or something?” You shrug questioningly. Every single movie you saw or book you read where the characters had a deal like that they ended up establishing some rules, you’re not sure if that’s what you’re supposed to do here, but…

“Rules?” His whole face scrunches up, “Let me tell you something, sweetheart,” he lets out a long exhale, “My entire life, all I did was to follow damn rules. Even to this day, I have to follow them all the time in my job, whether is from the fucking government, the pain in my ass which is Stark or Fury and, believe me, even from the giant asshole of my best friend who’s pretty jacked up now but was nothing than a skinny angry ass, like, yesterday… Yeah, you know the punk, don’t you?” He smiles when you hold back a laugh, “It’s all about rules, rules, rules… I have to endure them when it comes to work, but I don’t like them in my personal life.”

He smiles that dazzling smile and you can’t help to offer him a small one, too. You see where he’s coming from. Given what you know of his life, he lived a very strict, military life ever since an early age in the 30’s. You don’t even have to elaborate on what happened next and everything he endured… now he’s part of the damn Avengers… Just like that, you start to get a bit more of Bucky Barnes and why he seems to live his life so lightly and freely now…

“Listen…” he continues, after taking a sip from his beer, “Let’s just have some fun… I loved spending time with you last night, I love that you’re here now and I love even more the prospects of tonight…” He smirks and you gulp down at the promise that comes with it, “I just wanna enjoy our time together, I don’t need rules to do that.” He pauses, as his face turns a bit more serious, differing from the light demeanor he’s been showing so far, “Do you wanna set any rules, though?”

You ponder his question. You did bring the subject up, because that’s what you think you should’ve done, but, now that you think about it, nothing comes to your mind. You kinda love his philosophy. No overthinking, just fun and no rules… “No, actually. I can’t think of anything,’ you decide.

“Great.” He smiles and nods, before his face turns serious again, “There’s one thing I need to clear up, though.” He stops and looks deeply into your eyes, as waiting for your consent before continuing.

“Oh, alright.” You encourage him to elaborate.

“As much as I’m looking forward to getting to know you and spending time with you, there’s absolutely no prospect of this turning into some kind of romantic relationship. See, I like the way I live my life too much and chances are I won’t be exclusive to you,” he says fixing his gaze on yours as if gauging your reaction to what his words, “What I’m saying is if I feel like it, I’ll have sex with other people and I highly encourage you to do the same if that’s something you want. The serum made me immune to any disease, but I’m obviously not against protection,” he adds and you feel your cheeks burning, it still blows you away how comfortably he talks about sex and how blatantly honest he is. You like and are getting used to it, but you’re just not there yet, “We can be friends, or not, we can just fuck our brains out, but we won’t go further than that. I need to know you’re aware and consenting on this, I need to know you’re on the same vibe as mine before we continue… having fun together.” He speaks seriously, but you see the tiny and suggestive curl on his lips when he finishes and waits for your answer.

You let out a small laugh under your breath, “I wouldn’t stress about it… I’m still in love with my boyfriend, to be honest. So, don’t worry about me wanting to turn this into something ahm… romantical.” You wave your hand between the two of you.  

“Uh, ok,” He raises a brow and nods, pondering your response, “We’re cool then?” He checks again.

“We’re cool,” You nod and raise your beer.

He promptly bumps his bottle to yours as you seal your deal with a toast and a shared smile.

“So, still in love with him, huh?” He asks, absentmindedly, after you two take a sip from the beer, “Was it a bad break up?”

“Not really,” you answer, looking down at your finger circling the rim of the bottle, “I just wasn’t expecting it… I thought I was gonna spend the rest of my life with him… it was settled.” You shrug, “And then, nothing was certain anymore. I’m sorry,” you quickly add, shaking your head with a tight smile on your lips. The last thing you want is to talk about Eddie. And you’re pretty sure that’s not what Bucky expects from the night, either.

“Hey.” He hooks his finger under your chin, lifting it up so you look back at him, “No rules remember? We can talk, we’re not sex robots or anything.”

Your head falls back when you laugh, “Alright.” You nod as he smiles at you, “But I don’t really want to talk about my breakup, now.”

He nods back, accepting your position, “Can I ask you something?” He’s the one to talk again after you two drink from the beer, “Last night,” he continues when you give him your consent, “When I went down on you. Was that the first time?”

There he goes again, talking so freely... You don’t feel your cheeks burning this time, though.

“No,” you answer, and he lifts his eyebrows, showing a bit of surprise at the answer, “It was the second, actually…” You’re quick to add, tightening your lips, “That obvious, huh?” You laugh quietly as your shoulders drop a bit.  

Bucky shrugs, “It’s just that you seemed a bit self-conscious about it…” He brings his bottle to his lips, but stops it midair, “At first…” he smirks at you once again and winks.  

You let out a small chuckle, looking down, playing with the almost empty bottle in your hands, “And I was…” You turn your body to face him, folding your legs on his sofa and leaning your arm on his backrest. It might be the alcohol, or just his laid-back and comforting presence that makes you want to share it with him, “You see, I’ve dated Eddie since college and he was my first…you know?” You bit on your lower lip as he nods at you to continue, nothing changing on his expression at the information, “And what happened was that he was never really a fan of that… we tried once, years ago and that was it… I knew he was grossed out by it, so I never asked him again.”

Clearing your throat, you look away, bringing you your beer to your lips to conceal any sign of embarrassment your face might indicate, you can’t believe you just shared that with him, you know how pitiful that sounds and what a turn off that must be. You’re there to have sex and are sharing how unexperienced you are? Not cool.

You feel his eyes fixed on you, and, when your gaze is attracted to his like a magnet, the pity you thought you would see on his face just isn’t there. Instead, it’s something entirely different you catch on his expression and his eyes. Never parting his focus from you, he puts his beer on the center table and reaches for yours, placing it next to his. He drags his body closer, and his smell – no cologne, just his own manly smell with a hint of what must be a fancy shampoo-  fills in your nostrils, making you breathe in deeply the inebriant scent, “You know what came to my mind while I was listening to you?”

The sultry tone in his voice is almost hypnotic as your lips part and your gaze drops to his, “What?” you murmur.

“Last night…” He licks his lips before drawing his lower one between his teeth, “Your taste…” He leans forward, brushing his lips on your earlobe, causing your breath to hitch in your throat, “Your shaky legs around my shoulders…” His flash hand finds your knee before sneaking up your thigh, carrying goosebumps on its way, “And those sinful sounds you made while I had your pussy in my mouth.” He grabs your earlobe in a gentle bite at the same time his wandering hand grabs harshly the flesh of your thigh underneath your dress, pulling a breathy whine out of you.

He drags his lips to yours and the kiss is sensual, slow moves of his tongue against yours as his lips are a soft and breathtaking caress. You realize you would be willing to spend the whole night just like that… kissing him, as your tongue laces around his and he lures you to melt into him… But he seems to have other plans in mind. You can’t help but seek his lips again as he parts them from yours.  

“And this is what thinking about all of that does to me…” Boring his blue, now darker than ever, eyes on yours he grabs your hand from your lap and brings it to the bulge in his pants.

You gasp at the sensation in your hand as he guides your hand with his to brush the firm and large hardness. Everything about the situation is sexy and makes you light in your head and hot in your body: the way he moans as you move your hand, his warm breath slipping from his parted lips and fanning over yours, how his eyes flutter for just a second before fixing on yours again, his scent, his shameless words… 

“Just to think about eating your pussy…the mere thought of it…. Fuck, it turns me on,” he whispers and lets go of your hand, allowing it to move on its own as he lunges at you again, kissing and nibbling your lips a lot harder than the first time

You kiss him back fiercely while keeping your hand on his cock, palming it through his jeans. You already can tell how thick he is and a fluttering sensation bubbles down your lower belly as the desire to feel his cock inside you takes over your senses and makes you weak in your legs.

“Shit, I can’t wait to do that again…” He drags his lips down your collarbone, whispering between kisses and licks on your skin, “But right now, what I want is to feel your pussy around my cock. Is that what you want, too?”

“Oh, yeah,” you promptly answer, eyelashes fluttering shut at the thought as you press your hand harder against his hardness and digs your finger on his loose locks, “I want it… I want this cock so bad.”

“Bedroom,” he announces, swiftly getting up and pulling you with him.

By the time you get to his bedroom, he already has his shirt off and you’re only in your set of black lingerie, discarded clothes and shoes left on the short way from the living room. Peppering kisses down his neck, you unbutton and unzips his jeans.  

“Holy fuck.” It slips out of you in a breath when you look down and takes sight of his cock bobbing between you two as you pull his pants along with his underwear down his legs.

It’s big… and thick… and beautiful, you dare say…"Wow," it slips out of you unannounced as you keep staring down and you hear a chuckle from him, a tad too smug chuckle, because he damn well knows… of course, he does.

As he proceeds to ravish your neck, grabbing two handfuls of your ass through your underwear, you can’t help but wrap your fingers around him. You can’t take your eyes off your hand playing slowly with it, entranced by how thick and hard he is, anticipating the feeling of him inside you as you swipe your thumb over the tip...

“Stop, stop.” The rasped plea takes you out of your reverie as his forehead falls on your shoulder and his hand stops yours, “I’ll come all over your hand if you keep that up,’ he explains, laying a kiss on the crook of your neck.

You chuckle and bring your arms to circle his broad shoulders instead, peppering kisses on his stubbled jaw.

“Let’s go to bed, or this will be over too soon.” You can hear the smile on his lips as he squeezes your ass and steps out of his bunched jeans and underwear, guiding you to his bed.

Through kisses, licks, bites, and wandering hands on each other, he lays you down and positions himself hovering you after unhooking and taking off your bra with the same expertise from the night before. He focuses on your breasts, sucking each one of them with intense hunger before shifting on his knees, leaving your breasts and whole body burning for his touch.

He moves towards the nightstand and opens the drawer to get a condom. The position gives you a prime view of his fully erected cock. The little dark path turning into the well-trimmed little hairs right above it shows you how careful he is with himself and the thought of your tongue running down on it pops into your mind and sparks the electricity running down your inside. On its own will, your hand snakes down your stomach till your clothed mound.   

A particularly loud sigh of you is what catches Bucky’s attention as he rips the package with his teeth. His eyes drop to where your hand rubs you covered pussy and his cock twitches at the vision.

“Shit… yeah, touch yourself….” He breathes, as he rolls off the latex around his cock.

You promptly slide your fingers under your underwear and find out how wet you are. You draw gentle circles on your clit, never taking your eyes off his burly and beautiful figure, the tightness in your core is a crescendo as you catch every little detail of his perfect body and his hooded eyes on you.

Still kneeling on the mattress, he positions himself in front of your opened legs, but just stays there, hypnotized by the spot where you touch yourself, placing his hands on your knees and spreading your legs wider for him, his pupils growing darker and darker with lust.

You sigh and moan at the pleasure brought by your fingers, but the exposed situation you are in and the sight of him staring down so hungrily at your pussy prompts the tight coils flaming inside you. Just a couple of days and you’re finding out a few things you had no idea about yourself. One of them is that you actually love that kind of filthy exposition. It feels wrong and intimate and fucking sexy.  

He grips his cock, giving it a few slow strokes and it’s all a sweet torture that you can’t take anymore.

“Bucky…Please, fuck me.” Your voice comes out laced in a mix of plea and guttural groan you didn’t know you had in you.

Dark eyes flick to yours. “Oh, yeah? Do you want me to fuck you?” he teases, showing no mercy to your desperation.

“Hard…” you correct him, gritting your teeth, “I want you to fuck me hard.”

His eyes widen and his chest moves up when he sucks in a breath. You’re really that eager that you can’t control your words anymore, but you love the effect it has on him. He pulls your fingers from under the lace of your underwear and leans down to bring them to his mouth. Your lips part at the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen, his eyes fluttering shut as he moans sucking the two fingers clean. Your taste seems to stir something in him and the world around you spins when big strong hands turn you over roughly.

“On your fours,” he growls. The grasp of his hands on your ass tugs at your core.

You promptly comply, getting yourself in the position he wants you in as he keeps himself behind you. You yelp when he swiftly pulls your underwear down your knees, the lace stretching around them as he spreads your legs. Looking from over your shoulder you watch him cursing under his breath and gripping the base of his impossibly hard cock and guiding it to your slit, coating his hardness with your arousal.

“Holy fuck,” you whisper as the hardness brushes against your clit.

“In a second…” He smirks when his gaze crosses yours.  He leans over and pushes your back down, positioning your ass in the air as you lay your head on his pillow. Bucky grabs your hand and guides it to your pussy.

He doesn’t need to say what he wants you to do as your fingers quickly start working on your clit and he aligns himself with your entrance. He pushes the tip in and it knocks the air out of your lungs as you brace yourself on his pillows with your unoccupied hand, speeding up the finger on your clit.  Bucky groans as he pushes himself in, inch by inch. You’re soaking wet and he doesn’t find much resistance, but it’s been a year for you, so you’re very aware of the stretch on his way in.

“Shit,” you wheeze, loving how full you feel when he’s all his way in, both of his hands grasping your hips tightly.  

“Oh, damn, you feel amazing.” He groans and you clench around him, “Oooo, someone has a praise kink, huh?” A teasing tone in his words.

Do you? You wouldn’t know… all you know is how your whole body and mind respond to having him inside you and how his sultry words make your head dizzy. It’s an aching and floating sensation all at once.  You feel light and heavy and hot and eager for him to move.

Like he’s reading your mind, he starts his pace. His fat cock stretches your walls at every jerk of his hips, increasing in rhythm as it feels easier for him to slide in and out of you. It doesn’t take long before he’s pounding into you, a punishing hold on your hips to keep you steady enough to him. Being the discoverer of your weakness, he punctuates every pound with grunted words of praise, telling how good and wet you feel around his cock. 

He feels good, too. He feels so damn good, his cock brushing and hitting all of the sweetest spots inside you, the sound of skin slapping against skin... Your mind is a fuzz and your head sinks into his pillow, muffling your moans as you just take it, your body moving along with his powerful thrusts. The coil that’s been twisting your lower belly getting tighter and tighter. You want to come on his cock so bad, you press your fingers hard against your sensitive numb.

“Fuck, yeah, work on that clit, I wanna feel you soaking that cock,” Bucky coos, curling an arm around your stomach and, when you notice, you’re on your knees with your back to his chest. Slick skin burns against slick skin as he drags his metal hand over yours on your pussy, guiding your finger in a different direction, making you gasp at the new sensation the subtle shift brings.

“Oh, God.” You can’t and don’t want to hold back anymore as it’s all more than you can handle and the tightness inside your belly washes over your core in sheer ecstasy. Your back arches and your head falls back on his shoulder as you cry out a mindblowing orgasm.

“Shh,” he whispers in your ear, slowing down his pace, “That’s it, oh fuck,” he curses at the feel of your cunt gripping his cock.

Your senses aren’t fully functioning yet when he pulls out, throws you back on the mattress and flips you over, swiftly taking off the underwear that was stretched around your knees. A delicious smile curls your lips at all the manhandling because you want more and he’s giving it to you, driving himself inside you again, lifting your legs with his forearms, resting them over his shoulders and not holding back on the almost inhuman speed as he thrusts his hips.

He leans over, captures your lips and you curl your arms around his neck as he fucks you. Hard. Just like you said you wanted him to. You had no idea you were so flexible but what a way to find out, having the hottest guy you’ve ever met balls deep -really deep - into you while his tongue curls around yours.

Parting his lips from yours he releases your legs and they promptly wrap them around his hips as he supports himself with his forearms on each side of you and arches his back and to allow him to drag his lips to ravish your breasts, which he seems pretty fond of already. You push his thrusts impossibly harder and deeper with your feet as he alternates from sucking one and the other, licking and grazing his teeth around your sensitive nipples, your vision blanking at the light pain mixed with the pleasure he’s giving to you with his mouth and his damn perfect cock inside you. He doesn't give you time to cool down from the last orgasm as your mind freezes, focusing solely on the dazzling sensations in your body.  

“So fucking sexy.” The praise reverberates through your skin and it really seems to be a kink of yours as, joined with the expert roll of his hips, he brings you to another orgasm. A smaller one compared to the first, but powerful enough to make your body shake and to coax a series of moans out of you.

Bucky lets your breast go with a popping sound after a particularly hard suck and shifts back to his knees. 

Still in the daze of your second orgasm, a weak sound leaves your lips through panting breathing as your hips leave the mattress when, pulling your legs straighten up together and keeping them securely against his chest with one arm, he pounds into you until an guttural grunt rolls from his lungs and his hips still. He shoves his hips into yours a couple of times, deep and powerful,, spilling his own pleasure into the condom, before letting your legs loose and pulling out. The sensitivity etches a hiss out of you before his body drops next to yours. 

For a while, all that fills the room is the sound of sharp pants from both of you. In the past year, you came to think to think that maybe sex wasn’t that important to you and that maybe it wouldn’t matter if it happened or not…What a damn fool. 

You do like sex. Love it, actually. And it is fucking amazing and important to you, no doubt of that, you realize while your eyes shut and you allow yourself to drown into the delicious ache that covers your muscles while aftershocks of your orgasms cause occasional spasms all over your body.

“Holy shit.” Bucky’s the first one to speak, still fighting to breathe, “That was-”

“Fucking amazing,” you complete, breathing hard, but with a blissful smile on your lips you tilt your head towards him, “Thank you, Bucky. You have no idea how much I needed this.” You add, too deep in your daze to care whether you sound pathetic or not.

He laughs loudly and the corner of his eyes crinkle with it, “My pleasure, beautiful, my pleasure.”

A few more moments pass with both of you laying there and enjoying the after state of what you just did until the mattress moves when he gets up.

You gather your strength to lift your head enough to watch him walking towards the bathroom, rolling off the condom out of his semi hard cock.

As you’re alone in his bed, that’s when an awkward feeling freezes up your chest in contrast to the heat you’ve surrendered to so far. What the hell are you supposed to do now? Do you leave? Do you stay? Can you take a shower? You could definitely use one… You know he said no rules and you agreed, but some guidance would suit you pretty well right now.  

“Hey,” his voice takes you out of your own mind puzzle, “Your turn.” A soft towel is thrown at your face.

You grab it in your hands and look up at him with a glare. He’s laughing as he walks towards you, still butt naked, and your glare quickly dissipates into a playful one. “The bathroom is all yours now. There is liquid soap, shampoo and other stuff there if you need them,” he offers casually, sitting by the corner of the bed, “I’m starving, Chinese sounds good?”

You sit, too, holding the towel in your hand, “Yeah,” you frown before nodding “Sure, Chinese sounds great, actually.”

“Alrighty, then.” He taps on the mattress and gets up. You gaze falls down to his perky butt cheeks moving as he walks towards the door. He stops by the frame and looks back at you with that mischievous look of his, “Then, I’ll be ready for dessert.” He darts out that sinful tongue of his and runs it over his lips.  

The brief awkward coldness you felt is replaced by a flush of a welcoming heat creeping up your body.

You smirk back at him, “Can’t wait.”  

~~~

[souichieatr]

wanna be yours, ch2

suna x freader , foxy boy

where in which two opposites fall in love

a/n: for everyone who commented on the posts youve been added sorry i cant reply <//3 if you're interested in being in the taglist send me an ask, i was thinking of making a playlist for the au would anyone be interested? lmk !! sorry if there are any mistakes or if its bad this is my first writing <3

ch1. this voice im hearing rn? , hey bestie

word count: 2,090

the first song- The Ghost of You- my chemical romance

second song- I Bet on Losing dogs- mitski

third song- Crybaby- destroy boys

pocketing her phone after reading tendous message, she opens the door waving to a couple friends and offers friendly smile taking her seat. a pair of pale green eyes follow her. after yesterday suna did a little research about her y/n y/l/n the bassist and youngest in the band called 4u, she has quite a big following on twitter, she's really nice and interacts with the fans. looking at her now you can't imagine her on stage suna thought. breaking away from his thoughts as the teacher walks in. spouting for about what feels like hours and the students taking notes, finally lunch approaches. y/n jumps from her seat grabbing her case she walks to the third year hallway. waving to her friends they walk to her, tendou wrapping his arms around her “y/n!!!!!! i missed you” laughing as she hugged him back “tendou!!! i missed you toooo.” she turns to the grey haired male, “semisemi!!” she says giving him a hug, he rolls his eyes and hugs her back “and ushi!!” she turns to the brunette to which he pats her head “good afternoon y/n.” as they go to the lunch room to grab their lunch, they walk to one of the music rooms they usually occupy. a beep from her phone grabs her attention seeing her friend atsumu asking if him his twin and their friend can join for lunch, “hey guys you dont mind if atsumu and his friends come join us?” she says setting down her case against the wall. “nah you can invite them, atsumu is our biggest hype man” tendou says, grabbing his drum sticks from his back pocket. texting him its cool she goes to unzip her bass. “oh ms lady ive missed you” she says hugging the instrument, “i can't believe you two and always wanting to play, dont yall have any other hobby?” semi says, grabbing the schools given guitar setting the speaker up for y/n. tendou gives a scoff “semisemi dont act like you hate hearing us play i see you listening to our covers alllll the timeeeee” he says “yeah semi besides we have a concert soon and it wouldnt be bad to have an audience” y/n says walking to semi to connect her bass to the speaker when the door opens, entering is atsumu in the middle, osamu on his left, and a mystery guy in the back. setting her bass down running up to the blond “tsumu!!” giving him a hug “y/n!!” he hugs her back, she waves to osamu, who shes met on an occasion. looking towards the dark haired guy she walks up to him, noticing shes seen him somewhere. “youre suna right? we're in the same class?” she says giving him a hand and a awkward smile, nodding at her words. “hope its okay im here” he says taking her hand giving a slight shake. “nah dont worry its nice to have a different face, seeing tsumu is getting boring” turning around to the male. “what she means to say is we could use practice in front of new people” the grey haired male says giving a small laugh when tendou scoffs at him, both guys walking towards the small group. “this is semi and this is tendou” she says introducing them. when the introductions are over the two males go back to setting up, y/n walks the newcomers to the sitting area “here you guys can sit, im sure you all know ushijima” on hearing his name he looks up from his name giving a small head bow. they all sit “any recommendations tsumu?” y/n says walking to her bass making sure everything was good, looking towards the small group. “y/n you know my favorites” atsumu says stealing one of his brothers onigiri. y/n laughs and rolls her eyes, turning to tendou “anything you wanna try tori?” tendou looks at her with a smile “y/n lets show semi whatweve been working on” hearing this semi looked at them “what do you guys mean? what did you two do” y/n chuckles at the grey hairs doubtful expression “mr semisemi you know your favorite mcr song” when she sees him nod she continues “me and tori learned it” she says pushing him lightly. semi looked at her with wide eyes then at tendou, looking at semi tendou flicked his drum stick between his fingers with a nod. “wow semi cant believe you, we spent so much hours perfecting a my chemical romance for your sap self and he doesn't believe us y/nie i might

” tendou says fake sniffing. the little group in the back beyond confused, atsumu clearing his throat “have you three forgotten us already, wheres our show” ushijima nodding his head “yeah why are you guys being so vague” tendou snickers “dont worry you three and wakatoshi we have decided to play a new song or well cover i should say” “yeah and its semi’s favorite band you know the one that he wears on his shirts?” ushijima looking towards the girl after hearing her statement he nods. “okay can we play now ive been waiting to show my skills and get our lovely semi's opinion” y/n says removing her pick, both boys giving a ‘yeah’. finally tendou does the countdown. suna looks at all three of them with slight excitement in his stomach, ‘is this a new song im going to hear?’ before he could think of anything else, semi started playing a few chords by himself and y/n starting to add her own strums then tendou adding drums. sunas eyes widen at how well all the sounds blended together, freezing in his spot when semi started singing, when hitting the chorus y/n joins him. suna looking at her, he felt like he had been put in a trance, feeling like theres a spotlight on her when she starts nodding her head seeing her tongue sticking out when stringing the instrument. towards the end you can see y/n lose focus and her eye twitches, ending the song she sighs. “hey sorry about the end” waving to the guys to her left with a frown. hearing applause from the group the frown doesnt last long. “WHOOO!!!!! THAT WAS MY BESTIES GO SEMI! GO TENDOU! GO Y/N!!” atsumu gets up and yells. “that was so good what the hell that was yer first time too?” he says going up to the group, high-fiving y/n. “i mean me and tendou practiced together but semi basically has every song by them memorized but together? yeah our first.” tendou getting up to get his water that was next to ushijima. semi joining the fake blond and the girl, patting her on her back “that was a good first for us i can tell you and tendou worked hard, we're definitely adding it to the set list.” getting a laugh from both of them semi walks to the small group. “hey man that was really good, you have a nice voice” suna says as semi approaches, semi turned to him surprised “oh thank you im glad you enjoyed, do you listen to our stuff?” he says taking a seat next to him. “ive recently just started, i hope that doesnt sound too weird” the dark haired suddenly getting a little embarrassed, chuckling “its not weird i promise, well its good you listen to us or im sure it would've been awkward to just be here” nodding along to what he said. tendou going back to the drums “are you cowards tapping out now?” “COWARDS?!?!” y/n yells back turning around “i am no coward tendou satori i'll make you eat those words semi get over here” she said grabbing semis attention and shooing atsumu back to his seat. chuckling as he sat back down, turning to suna “howd ya like em? theyre good huh?” suna rolling his eyes “im not going to help inflate your ego tsumu” “yeah tsumu yer big ego is not cute” gasping to their remarks “you guys are so mean to me, i introduce you to nice music and even the artists and this is the thanks i get” before any could respond tendou starts clicking his sticks. starting this one is tendou with a slower sound, y/n entering second then semi with vocals. y/n leans down to mess with something by her foot turning a notch noises like static come out adding to the music, coming up fast she starts adding her vocals complimenting semis. pressing on the box she leans down as more noises come out. atsumu leans over to sunas ear “thats a pedal that holds other sounds and can help stretch other sounds” suna giving him a nod. towards the end y/n reaches down to the pedal again adding a distorted sound before adding her last bit of ‘oohs’ before the song ends. everyone clapping as the members stay still for s bit before y/n dramatically bows “youre so welcome lovely audience” she says blowing kisses to them, laughing at her atsumu jumps up and down pretending to be a crazy fan “oh y/n you were so go

od i love you y/n!!!” y/n laughing at him. “hey atsumu what about me!” tendou asks swinging his hand “howd i do?” “oh tendou you were so good, i love you too tendou!!!” he says swinging his arm back. tendou satisfied with his response nods his head, “and with that lets play one more i still want time to actually eat before we play again later.” “yeah lets try ‘crybaby’ we haven't done that in awhile” semi says getting in position.“remember y/n you do the verses” y/n nods clearing her throat “go tori” she says and tendou starts the counting again. starting the counting fast he gets one beat then y/n starts off with singing, swinging her bass back she grabs the mic. suna cracks a smile nodding his head a little as he remembers this song on their youtube, atsumu whistling when y/n dips down her mic as she sings, letting the boys have a solo in between verses she bobs her head. the last few seconds of the song she swings the instrument back as she steps on the pedal creating feedback, as semi goes to vocals she starts getting a solo with tendou playing, y/n leans forward and her and semi sing the rest of the song. after the last note they all look out of breath. clapping for them again letting them catch their breath, y/n starts laughing “i forget how hard that song is towards the end” laughing with her tendou nods “its literally the last 50 seconds that get the hardest” “alright lets clean up” semi says laughing at both of their bored looks they send him. finishing up they all go to the group whove are talking among themselves. sighing as she sits y/n takes the seat next to suna, “so howd you like the songs?” she says with a smile “they were good though i only recognized the last one” he replies, “tsumu told me you started listening to us recently so i thought or well semi thought wed show off a bit with our best song being that” she says with a smile grabbing her bottle. a small smile appears on his face “oh hey tsumu told me youre like really good in your classes and i really need help in history and since we have that group project coming up do you wanna pair up?” she says setting her bottle down grabbing a bag of chips. “yeah i dont mind as long as you actually do something and i can help you study if your grade is that bad” he says. “thatd actually help me out a lot i really appreciate it” she lets a breath out. after that the two spent all lunch just talking, the conversation coming easy for both of them. hearing the bell ring y/n hugs her friends and walks with suna to their class, pairing up in the project the teacher had given them in their period. after class before y/n rushed out she passed him her number with a wink “text me for the deets foxy boy.” ‘foxy boy? suna thought to himself shaking his head texting her with a simple ‘hey its suna’ and heading home.

facts !

during lunch when suna and y/n we're talking the followed each other on twitter

semi was really touched they learned the mcr song

the 4u concert is at a small venue but no one really cares about the other groups going there

osamu and atsumu almost started fighting over the onigiri until suna said something about ushijima being right there

atsumu was watching suna and y/n talking

osamu actually really enjoyed being there during lunch

—taglist

@applekenm , @xhanjisungiex , @astronomyturtle , @sirachano0dles , @yn-tingz , @killmepls-uwu , @bakugouswh0r3

[nerdlifecentral]

Unknown Secrets [5]

Summary: Crowley and Rowena work at keeping suspicions off of the reader’s back while the Hunters get close to nowhere in their searching. Y/n discovers a possible pattern that could lead to Asmodeus’ whereabouts and even more answers relating to her lineage.

Characters: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester, reader, Gabriel (mentioned), Castiel (mentioned), Mick, Ketch, Rowena, and Crowley

Pairing: everyone platonic

Genre: Angst, bit of fluff

Word Count: 3,800 :O

Warnings: n/a

A/N: Merry Christmas SPN Family!!!! I wasn't planning on finishing this chapter until after Christmas but consider it an early gift from me to you. Hope y'all enjoy it and would love to hear your feedback! <33

I wake with a start and take a few calming breaths and look around the living room. “When did I even fall asleep?” I only hope today isn’t nearly as nerve-wracking as yesterday was, I should probably call Ketch and let him know I’m with my “experts” and that they’re working on solutions as we speak. But the very thought brings back anxiety.

“Good morning, y/n. Sleep well I assume?” A deep British voice says from behind me. I sit up on the couch and see Crowley standing with his cellphone in hand. “My mother had to run some errands and test some theories she has about helping you stay hidden.”

I nod and say, “You certainly like to sneak up on people, Crowley,” the demon pockets his phone and chuckles.

“What can I say, it’s a hobby of mine.” he winks and continues, “The Winchesters are probably getting antsy, I figured it would be a good idea to go and give the boys a visit. Let them know that you’re safe and all.”

I nod, thankful I don’t have to be the one to lie on the spot. “Thank you, Crowley. What exactly are you going to tell them?”

“Nothing far from the truth, darling,” he says, smirking, “that you came to my mother for help and she asked for my help as well. If they try to push any further, I can just call them morons for suspecting you.”

I can’t help but laugh, Crowley smiles at me and he suddenly disappears. “Does he just follow the Winchesters around or something?” Though I’m grateful he went to tell them in person, I still wish I could hear what was going on.

I hear the front door click and a pair of heels walk inside, the door closing behind them.

“Hey, Rowena,” I call from my spot still on her couch, “go on any wild adventures while you were out?”

She laughs, her red curls bouncing as she unloads bags from her arms onto a side table near one of her armchairs. “No adventures this time, just calling in a few favors and catching up with some fellow witches.”

I raise my eyebrows at her. She never talks with other witches after she was practically a laughing stock after trying to create her “Mega Coven”.

“But enough about me,” she says, placing her large purse on the same table from last night. She walks into her kitchen area and continues, “how did your chat with Arthur go last night? By the time I came back to check on you, you had fallen asleep.”

“Well, I still feel horrible lying to him, but I don’t think he suspects me.” I follow her through her house and take a seat nearby where she was working in the kitchen, making even more tea and humming in acknowledgment. “But now I don't know how to keep this up, I mean, these people have been hunting their whole lives and are famous for being paranoid. And to add to it, I have a message from Sam asking how I’m doing and to call him when I get the chance.”

She sends a quick sideways glance in my direction but doesn’t respond. I don’t have any ideas and frankly, the silence is welcomed.

Unfortunately, the silence doesn’t last long as I hear my ringtone go off from the coffee table in front of me. I pick it up and see Sam’s contact light up. Rowena immediately gets up and stands behind me as I answer with shaky hands, unprepared to talk with the Hunters again.

“Hey, Y/n?” Sam asks, although it was a little hard to hear him.

“Yes?” I respond, “it’s a little hard to hear you, Sam, are you guys on the road or somewhere with choppy wifi?”

I hear him huff a tense laugh and vaguely hear Dean on the verge of yelling. “Yeah well we got a surprise visitor and Dean and Gabe aren’t exactly thrilled with his appearance.”

I groan in frustration, I’m sure that it’s Crowley bugging the hell out of them rather than actually explaining what’s going on. Of course he had to leave all the hard lying to me. “Put me on speaker, will you? It’s gonna be a lot easier to explain what’s going on if I can just talk to everyone all at once.”

“Sure thing,” he responds, “alright, Y/n, you’re on speaker.”

“Um, hey guys, how’s the search coming?” I say, my leg bouncing with nerves.

“Hello, Y/n,” Cas responds, sounding extremely tired. Probably from dealing with everyone arguing about who knows what. “We don’t have anything yet, only the information we already knew about lightning storms and other demon signs here.”

“Okay, and what was all the shouting about?” Their end of the line went silent, “I’m assuming it has something to do with Crowley being there.”

“And how exactly did you know that?” I hear Dean say, I think he moved closer to the phone because his voice is much clearer than before. “You send him here or something?”

I roll my eyes even though the only person who can see it is Rowena. She chuckles and leans over me to speak into my phone, “You really think my son listens to anyone but himself, Dean?” She gives me a small wink and leans back indicating that’s all she wanted to say for now, placing my phone back on my lap as I hear Dean mutter something on the other line. I know Mick and Ketch have told me about Dean’s grumpiness, but it is insanely irritating to be trying to have a conversation with him while he’s in a mood.

“Wait, Rowena’s with you?” Sam asks incredulously, as someone slams the motel door. I can only assume it was Gabriel as I’m sure he wants nothing to do with demons and was already on edge with the Asmodeus situation.

I hear Crowley sigh loudly, I can just see his eyes rolling. I also hear someone’s footsteps walk toward the phone, “Helpful as ever, mother,” Crowley responds, “if you would all stop acting like morons for two minutes I could actually explain what’s going on here.” Now it’s my turn to sigh, if he’s gonna explain what’s happening then why the hell am I even here?

“No offense, Crowley, but I’d much rather hear what’s going on from y/n,” Mick speaks up, “I can’t speak for anyone else, but I am much more inclined to believe her.”

Crowley huffs and I can only imagine the eye roll Dean gave at his dramatics.

“If you insist, Mick, I would love to enlighten you, boys,” I say with a fake smile, hoping they could hear it in my tone and believe it is real. “I decided it wouldn’t be very smart to stay by myself if I really am sick or something else is going on, so I figured I should stay with some experts I know.” I pause looking up at Rowena, not really sure how I should word the rest of this. I’ve never been the best at lying so I decide to avoid a complete lie, though I know I can’t be entirely truthful without having a death wish. She nods in encouragement for me to continue. “Rowena and Crowley were kind enough to help me out and make sure I’m doing okay, I don’t know how long I’ll be with them but I’ll still be working to track any omens or look for possible patterns for you guys.”

I tentatively hold my breath, waiting for some kind of response. I hear the phone be picked up and I assume it is taken off of speaker since the connection becomes a bit clearer.

“Hey, y/n,” Mick says quietly. “I know this is scary for you, especially with Gabriel practically running you off of this case, but you know you can come to me or Ketch with anything right?”

My eyes begin tearing up hearing Mick talk so openly and kindly to me. I’ve certainly known him and Ketch the longest and I trust them both with my life. I can’t handle actively lying to them and not being able to come to them with my anxieties. Both of my boys calling me makes me realize how much harder coming clean is going to be; it’s not like I can drop off the face of the earth and disappear without anyone trying to look for me.

“Y/n? You still there, love?” Mick’s voice brings me back from my racing thoughts.

“Yeah, sorry I’m still here,” I respond, willing my voice to not crack. Turns out my willpower isn’t that strong as my voice is super quiet and breaks at the end of my sentence. I hear Mick sigh sadly on the other line as we sit in silence together for a moment.

Mick breaks the silence, empathy evident in his tone, “Are you safe? I know you are more than capable of handling yourself, but I want to make sure you’re also able to recover from this without driving yourself to a breaking point.”

I nod and respond, “Yeah, I’m safe here. I wish I could be there with you and Ketch but I know it’s best to stay away in case this is some kind of bug or something that can spread. I don’t want to get in your way.” I can tell my last comment upset him, even though I can only hear Mick I can vividly see his brows furrow in concern.

“Y/n, you don’t need to ever worry about being in the way. I can’t speak for the Winchesters or the bloody angels, but just know that both Ketch and I miss you, and he would really love a call from you when you feel up to it.”

I smile into the phone. The Brits aren’t really known for being endearing very often, but I know they are both making an effort to be available to me in their own ways.

“I’ll call him a bit later, I should really try and get some research done for you guys. Pretty sure the addition of Gabriel and my absence ruined any chance of there being brain cells left for you and Ketch to abuse.”

Mick chuckles quietly saying, “Alright, love, I won’t keep you any longer. Don’t forget to call and lend us that brain of yours.” He says teasingly.

I laugh and promise to catch up later, then I hang up on him. I didn’t even realize I had been crying until Rowena gently hands me a box of tissues and walks off to the kitchen. I hear her moving around, I realize she is making more tea as she places her tea kettle on the stovetop.

I decide I might as well start researching now so I can be sure to call Ketch later with more info on the surrounding towns. I have a feeling Asmodeus wouldn’t stray too far away from me without good reason to. From what other Hunters at my bar have been telling me over the past few months, nothing crazy or demonic has happened. Although no one around here knows what Princes of Hell are so there is always a possibility they simply weren’t seeing the signs.

Rowena walks back in and places two teacups and a kettle down on the coffee table in front of the couch and occupies the seat next to me as I grab my laptop out of my backpack. I smile as thanks to her and start up my computer.

I spend most of the day gathering as many weather reports from surrounding towns that date back to forty years ago and writing down any possible anomalies or patterns; since that is also when the lightning storms in Dubuque began. The only real breaks I take are when Rowena practically forces me to step away from my computer for some food, and most of our conversation is filled with what I’ve discovered.

Sometime in the afternoon, Crowley walks through the front door with a look of almost boredom on his face. “Hello, mother, y/n.”

Rowena waves and I respond, “Hey, Crowley, how did babysitting go?”

“Absolutely horrid. I honestly don’t understand how they can get anything done with the constant bickering.” I laugh at his exasperation. I was only with all of them for a day and it was pretty overwhelming. “I will say, the smartest thing they did was calling you.”

I shake my head trying not to laugh, “Did they make any progress on any leads?” I ask, hoping that they decided to pursue other possibilities other than the idea that I’m the nephidemon.

“Well, not really. They are still wasting time searching in Iowa for Asmodeus’s child,” oh no, they better not have done any other spellwork. Crowley softens his gaze, “don’t worry, they didn’t do anything magic-related. And anytime any of them tried to bring you up or suggest calling you again I tried to shoot down the idea.”

I sigh in relief. I know that if they tried to replicate Rowena’s previous spell it would only solidify in their minds that I’m the enemy right now. I can’t believe Crowley actively stuck up for me though, I know he said he would help but lying to that many powerful people and angels is extremely risky.

“Thank you, Crowley. I have another question though,” I really want to ask him if any demons he knows of are hanging around in the towns surrounding Dubuque.

“I am an open book, darling. What do you need to know?”

He responds. Rowena steps out gathering the teacups and kettle, giving me and Crowley the opportunity to have a little bit of privacy.

“Well,” I say, “I’ve been doing some research on the smaller cities surrounding Dubuque, and I’ve realized that every five years there have been regular lightning storms and even crop failures in the towns that grow enough crops to track that kinda thing.”

“Okay, but that’s nothing out of the ordinary, y/n. Crops fail all the time and electrical storms coming and going like that isn’t enough evidence.”

I hold my hand up at Crowley’s comment. He raises his eyebrows and moves to sit next to me on the couch, waving to continue my ideas. “That’s what I thought at first too, but here’s the thing, every five years on the same day the electrical storms and crop failures stop in one town and move to another. Five years later on the same day again they move to a third town. Wanna guess what happens five years from then?” Again I only receive an eyebrow raise and wave to continue, “It goes back to the first town. And, each of these towns are exactly four miles away from Dubuque.”

“That is very compelling, my dear, but how can you connect any of this back to Asmodeus?” Crowley asks sounding slightly impatient.

“That’s also what I was thinking, so I did some more research into Asmodeus himself, and turns out, he is the Fourth Prince of Hell.” Crowley’s eyes widen in surprise and recognition. “There’s one more thing,” I add, a bit hesitant as Crowley leans in interest sparking in his eyes. “The day Asmodeus switches towns is always on my birthday.” He leans back into the couch and lets out a puff of air.

“So what I’m hearing is that Asmodeus supposedly stayed in Dubuque for twenty years, had the nephidemon -” “You mean me.” I interrupt, but he narrows his eyes and continues, “then continued to stay in the towns exactly four miles from your town for what reason?”

I shake my head at his question. “Who knows why that demon does what he does, why bother trying to figure it out when we know the patterns of where he will be every year?” Rowena exclaims, her heels clicking against the floor as she struts into the room.

“That’s something that I’m sure Sam and Dean can overthink into creating a solution for us,” I suggest while grabbing my phone and searching for Ketch’s phone number. The phone rings twice before Ketch picks up.

“Hey, y/n! Feeling better I hope?” I can’t help but smile at Ketch’s warm greeting, though the warmth is quickly replaced with anxiety.

“Hey, Ketch. I’m feeling a little bit better, you sound a bit tired, are you okay?” I ask, partially to pass the conversation off of me but also in concern for him. It’s no secret that Hunters tend to keep emotions and worries holed up inside and the exhaustion lacing Ketch’s voice is concerning to me.

“I’m doing all right, love. Trying to ensure this town’s safety is all, plus,” he whispers, “you’re the only American I can deal with, and being practically holed up with these American Hunters is driving me a tad insane.”

I chuckle softly and he does the same. “Could you put me on speaker for a sec? I’ve been doing some research and I think I might have something.”

“You mean to say you didn’t call just to have a pleasant conversation with me?” I roll my eyes and wait for Ketch to do as I asked. “Alright, love, you’re on speaker now.”

“Okay, so as I just told Ketch I’ve been doing some digging and I think I might have found something demon-related.” I hear slight shuffling sounds coming from the phone, probably the boys grouping around the phone to hear me better. “Basically, my thought process was if we are thinking that Asmodeus stayed in Dubuque to try and throw off any suspicions that his future child would bring, he most likely isn’t still there.”

“Why do you say that?” Dean asks sounding unconvinced.

I sigh and reply, “Because it would be way too risky. A Prince of Hell and his kid hanging out in the same town for years? There’s no way Hunters around the country wouldn’t recognize the signs and go after them. Anyway, I was checking out the neighboring cities to see if any demon omens were happening and they are, in a very specific pattern too.” I paused taking a grounding breath, Crowley scoots a little closer, giving me some assurance as I continue to tell the Hunters on the phone about the cattle mutilations, electrical storms, and the small number of crop failures in three of the towns.

“How far are these towns again, y/n?” Sam asks.

“Oh yeah! Each town is exactly four miles from Dubuque.” It’s probably best to leave out what date these issues occur on, I’m trying to throw suspicion off of me and I doubt revealing my birthdate would truly do that.

“Even if it isn’t Asmodeus, I’ve been wanting to kick some demonic ass today,” Dean spoke up. I chuckle at his response, though I’m very grateful they are still willing to take care of my town while I’m not there.

“That’s not very nice of you to say. I might feel threatened.” Crowley butted in a playful smirk on his face.

“Y/n, can you take us off speaker for a second?” Mick asks, sounding a bit uncomfortable.

I look over to Crowley a bit confused, Mick never sounds like this and his tone is putting me on edge. “Um, yeah, one sec Mick.” I respond, Crowley rolls his eyes and gestures vaguely to himself as he scoots back to give me a bit of privacy.

“Y/n, love? You still there?” Mick says from the other line, I don’t know why he’s so worried and I’m also not sure if Ketch’s phone is off speaker yet.

“Hey, Mick. Um, why did you want to talk privately?” I question.

“Well, are you sure you’re safe there? I certainly trust that you can handle yourself, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that you’re working hard on this case with us, but I want to make sure you’re not in danger…” He trails off.

“If you’re asking about if I’m safe where I am geographically speaking then yes, I’m in one of the safest places I could think of. I am also with the safest experts I could think of other than you or Ketch.” I pause, hoping that Mick doesn’t worry as much about me. I want him and Ketch to focus on hunting Asmodeus and keep me completely out of their minds.

“If you say so, it’s just,” Mick pauses, a sigh leaving his lips, “you know me well, love. I don’t trust easily and I certainly don’t trust demons. So, if you’re feeling up for it, I know that I would feel better with you here. Even if you stay at your home or here at the hotel all day, simply knowing you’re nearby would greatly ease my conscience.”

I drop my head and try to come up with lies or excuses as to why I can’t go back yet, I’m not ready, and what happens if Castiel or Gabriel try to use angel powers and check up on me or something? What if they find out that I’m a monster?

“I know you might not be ready yet, but just know that I’m here if you want to talk through anything.” Mick brings me out of my panicked thoughts. I’m very grateful that he has given me some time to decide.

“Well, I’ll definitely need some time to decide, I would love to be back with you guys and work the case. But I have to be certain I won’t pass out again or cause for you guys to waste more time on me when we need to focus entirely on hunting down Asmodeus and getting some answers.”

“I understand, y/n. Just, take care of yourself and give me a call tomorrow, okay?” I nod.

“I will, Mick. I love you and Ketch for looking out for me, make sure you’re both taking care of yourselves, okay?” Like most Hunters, when the Brits are on a tough case they tend to forfeit sleep and mental health until the monster is dead and people are safe.

He huffs a laugh, “We’ll try our best, love. You keep resting and get your strength up and call us whenever you’ve decided.”

I promise to call tomorrow and hang up with one last goodbye to Mick before he hangs up. Although I am terrified of the idea of being surrounded by these relentless Hunters, I know the situation can also get so much worse if they become suspicious of me while I’m staying with Rowena. I can’t let her earn more enemies because she chose to help me, it’s time to finally face the music.

[turkisherlockian]

Books and Sins | Chapter Two [Benedict Cumberbatch AU]

Hello everyone! I'm Cer but you might remember me as @rosamundhr a.k.a. Rosamund, it was my nickname but I've changed my mind and I will use my own name Ceren, now. (Cer for short hehehe) Unfortunately I lost access to @rosamundhr so I will keep posting my stories here! I hope you enjoy it and I apologise for making you all wait for so long! Love you all, stay safe. 😸❤️

Summary: Katherine is a fan of Timothy Carlton, the writer who she knows nothing about. No photos, no interviews, no information, not even his age. And one day, a man comes into her life who claims to be her classmate from high school. But through the time, she has a gut feeling something is... Wrong.

Warnings: Mature content, self harm, violence, swearing.

Word count: 1855

Feedbacks are much appreciated and so motivating!

Chapter One

---

  Katherine woke up with a weird feeling inside her chest. She was mad at herself for being like this: She could like someone so easily and fall in love with them soon after. It was not her fault though, he was really charming. Too good looking to like her back. However, she tried to convince herself that she just liked him and was attracted to him because he was a writer and well... Handsome as fuck. Not to mention his gentlemanly behaviour. Taking a deep breath, she reached out for her phone to tell her best friend about it. She didn't really have lots of friends and she never complained about it, she liked solitude.

  She scolded herself for being that excited about the thought of seeing him again. He was the very first thing that was on her mind in the morning and she wanted to talk to him again. So badly.

  K: Morning!

  S: Morning to you too 🤣

You're texting me 'morning' since when?

  K: Stop being sarcastic. Can't I be nice to my best friend?

  S: Of course you can, I'm kidding. I just wondered what made you this cheerful... Or who, I should say.

  K: You know who.

  S: Oh do I?

  K: Come on, Samantha! The man I met yesterday. I can't get him out of my mind, I don't know what happened to me but he's like... Cigarette.

  S: You're smoking? Since when???

  K: Of course I don't! It was just an example, idiot. Just can't get him out of my mind. What do I do?

  S: Text him maybe?

You won't seem desperate, don't worry. I am sure he found you attractive as well and he might even be in love with you.

  K: Okay, no need to exaggerate.

What do I say, good morning or hi?

  S: It doesn't matter!

  K: Okay, I'll text you later.

Are you sure I won't seem desperate?

  S: JUST TEXT HIM FOR GOD'S SAKE!

  K: OKAY I WILL!

  S: Don't forget to tell me about it. I gotta go now, talk to you later. xxx

  K: Bye! ❤️

---

There was something different about him. Did she like him because he was attractive or because he was nice to her? She had to admit that he was attractive, but there was something else in his voice, in his looks, in the way he talked. She actually found him beautiful.

  Taking a deep breath, she finally decided to text him.

  K: Good morning. :)

  Was he still asleep? Maybe he was at work. Wait, do writers go to work? Maybe he had another job. Maybe not. Maybe he just did not want to talk to her... Why wasn't he replying?!

  She sighed in frustration as she took a big sip from her coffee and burned her tongue.

  B: Morning, Katherine.

How are you? :)

  He finally replied after 10 minutes. She bit her lip as her heart skipped a beat, and started typing.

  K: I'm good! Getting ready to go to school.

  K: I mean work.

  God, I'm an idiot, she thought.

  K: How about you?

  B: Just got out of shower, that's why I replied late by the way. Sorry about that. :)

  K: I was wondering if you would like to meet again sometime.

  She grinned as she bit her lip, that's what she always did when she was nervous or excited.

---

  K: I would love that! When will you be free?

  B:I'm always available for you.

Whenever you'd like. :)

  She started squealing in excitement. What did he just say?!

  K:I'm free in the afternoon.

  B: Wonderful. How about the café we met?

  K: Sounds good. Is 2PM okay for you?

  B: Yes. I am looking forward to it, Katherine.

  K: So am I. :)

I gotta go now, see you later. x

  B: Have a good day. See you. x

  She looked at her watch and she was 30 minutes late already. Without telling Samantha about it, she started to get ready in a hurry.

  She was never late for work, so no one was upset with her being late.

---

  ''...And my mum said I'm out of my mind!''

  Katherine just could not get him out of her mind, and she hated it. She did listen to her counselee but couldn't pay any attention, and now she was crying. She gave her a tissue, ''I understand you, Jane, and I hope telling me about it made you feel better. I know how difficult it is for you, but I have a suggestion. When I was your age, I found a way to deal with my problems: being your own counselor.'' She smiled warmly.

  ''My own counselor? How?'' The young girl sniffled.

  ''I imagined that I was told about everything I am going through, and I had to find them a way out. Think of it as if you're reading your life in third person of view. I did it for years and I still do when I don't want to tell people about my feelings. Plus, I found out that it was scientifically proven in college, so it is safe and it actually works. How does that sound?''

  She wiped her tears, ''I can try...''

  ''So tell me, what would you say to yourself if you were someone else?''

  ''I think I would say that maybe..." She sniffled, "Maybe her mother wasn't feeling good as well.''

  Katherine smiled, ''That's it! You are right. We all have problems that we don't want to tell the others and sometimes we might burn out on people we care about the most without being aware of it. You can ask your mother if she is feeling alright, it doesn't matter whether you are still upset with her or not; maybe you can help her as well just like you just helped yourself. That was very brave of you, in my opinion.'' She smiled wholeheartedly.

  The girl who was just crying smiled and said ''Thank you very much, Miss Daelan. It's going to be the first thing I'm gonna do when I'm home.''

  ''You're welcome. Feel free to talk to me anytime.'' She got up to open the door for her and then left the room as well before checking her phone.

3 new messages from Samantha

  S: Hey! Send screenshots!!!

Are you there?

Kath!

  K: I'm sorryyyy I was late to work already and then forgot to text you.

Here you go:

*screenshots*

  S: I told you that he liked you as well, he is flirting with you!

  K: No he's not!

  S: He adores you!

  K: You are really exaggerating.

  ''Miss Daelan, do you have a minute?'' Katherine looked up at the principle, "Yes, Mr Brealey."

  K: The principle wants to talk to me, I'll ttyl xxx

  S: What did he say?

  The old man opened his room's door for Katherine, she smiled and walked inside. He gestured her to sit down, "Please, have a seat." he said and closed the door. After sitting down, he cleared his throat and said "Miss Daelan, I... Erm..."

  He loosened his tie, couldn't dare to look at Katherine. His cheeks were red and there was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. The young woman frowned a little, listening to him in curiosity. "I've known you since the day you started working here and... I must say that you are the most intelligent, kind, beautiful woman I have ever seen... I can't take my eyes off you because you're an amazing woman and I... I love you."

  Katherine was shocked, didn't know what to say at first. She did not feel honored at all, she was disgusted. "Excuse me? I thought you were married!"

  "Yes but I don't love my wife, I'm going to divorce her soon; you must understand Miss Daelan, I love you! Please give me a chance..." And now she felt her blood boil in her veins.

"I am sorry but it's never gonna happen. I suggest you to divorce your wife as soon as possible to keep her away from an asshole like you." Katherine stood up angrily and walked towards the door, "But Miss D--" and she shut the door.

  K: FUCKING HELL!

He said he loves me!

He's fucking married, Samantha!

*seen*

Are you there?

*seen*

  K: I guess you are busy

I'm going home to get ready, talk to you later xxx

  S: Sorry, I had to deal with a costumer

What a prick!!!

How dare he?

I want to kill him.

  K: Violence is never the answer but yeah, I pity on his wife to be honest. He even has children.

ANYWAY

WHAT AM I GOING TO WEAR?

S: Whatever you're comfortable with. :)

  K: How about a dress?

The one I wore when we last met?

  S: You look so hot in it 🔥

Wear that one!

  K: It covers all of my body, it's kinda tight and there's NO WAY I can look hot in it. I don't want to look pretentious anyway.

  S: Anything you wear looks good on you, love!

  K: Gay. 🤭

  S: Shut up. Wear it!

  K: LOL sorry!

I gotta go nowww

  S: Tell me all about it when you're home, IF you go back home ;) Good luck!

  K: I WILL and thanks! ❤️

  The young woman sighed as she tried to find her keys. She was still mad at the principal and it was frustrating her.

  After a short shower, she dried her hair with a towel and let her curls down on her shoulders. She wore the dress and looked in the mirror, It actually looks good, she thought. After applying some makeup and wearing her favourite her perfume, she was ready. She didn't like to wait and hated making the others wait for her as well, so she left her flat at 1:30PM. It took her 15 minutes to get to the café and she realized that she wasn't the only one who was punctual.

  "Hi..." She said as she walked towards the man she couldn't get out of her mind. He was wearing a brown jumper with beige trousers and she breathed his masculine, minty cologne in. Her heart was beating faster already.

  "Oh, hi, Katherine!" He stood up and for one second she didn't know what to do. Should she shake his hand or kiss his cheek? Or hug him? The young man leaned down and kissed her cheek before hugging her, she was shaking inside.

  He felt her body close to his. He felt her delicate, pale skin; and her linden scent made him feel dizzy. Her arms hugged his chest and he felt her plump, beautiful breasts. He watched her dress tighten around her curves as she moved.

  She was so beautiful and he could barely keep his hands to himself. He could kiss and take her right there, but didn't. He had to control himself until she submitted to him, which wasn't going to take long because it was in her blood. Submitting, obeying, and being his. He just knew it, and he was going to take what belonged to him. Katherine, belonged to him.

---

Chapter Three

Please let me know what you think! ❤️

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Ten

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven,

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 5k+

Warnings: Angst, Description of Violence and Injury, Comfort

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Lena finds out what happened to Emma. Can she save her?

Here it is! Been a stressful day due to car breaking down etc etc and so forth.

As always B!D is named.

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz​

Lena can’t shake the feeling of unease. She’s sitting at her desk, trying to work. But something doesn’t feel right. Something is wrong but she can’t place it. This confuses her immensely as yesterday had been wonderful. Lena did feel bad with how she ran out of Emma’s apartment this morning. Wanting nothing more than to turn around and push her girlfriend back into bed.

“I’m going on my lunch break now Ms Luthor.” Jess’ voice comes from her office door. Breaking Lena’s train of thought about Emma.

Lena’s head snaps up. “What?”

“Are you okay Ms. Luthor?” Jess asks, concerned for her boss.

“Yes I’m fine, it’s nothing.” Lena tries to smile to emphasise her point.

“Okay, well, I’m going to get some lunch, do you want anything?” Jess asks kindly.

“No, thank you.” Lena responds and as Jess turns to leave, Lena’s smile fades. She takes a deep breath. Picking up her phone again to see if Emma responded to her message about what she wanted to do before Emma left to head back to the tour.

But it still shows the delivered notification. Lena bites her lip in worry. Knowing that even if Emma is busy, which she shouldn’t be right now as she’s with her sisters, she will always acknowledge her messages and let Lena know she will respond when she can.

Making her mind up Lena quickly summons her chauffeur and shuts down her computer. Making sure everything is where it should be before grabbing her bag and exiting the office. She sends Jess a message explaining where she’s gone and to rearrange the few meetings scheduled for the afternoon. As Lena enters the elevator she opens her messages to Kara.

Lena: Hi Kara, are you with Emma? I’ve tried messaging her but she isn’t responding. I’m heading to hers now.

After sending the message the doors slide open and Lena makes her way to her chauffeur. Who is already holding the door open for her.

“Good afternoon Ms. Luthor.” He nods his head towards her.

“Good afternoon.” Lena says distractedly while sliding into the back seat. She buckles up as her chauffeur gets into the front and drives away from the curb.

“Where to Ms. Luthor?”

“Emma Danvers apartment please.”

Throughout the drive Lena keeps looking at her phone. It was strange that Kara wasn’t responding either. ‘Maybe she’s doing Supergirl duties...’ Lena wonders. She almost messages Alex but the car is nearing Emma’s penthouse apartment.

As soon as the car parks Lena is already unbuckling and getting out. She leans back in, “I won’t be needing you for the rest of the day. See you tomorrow.”

“Okay Ms. Luthor, have a good day.”

Lena nods, closing the door quickly and rushing into Emma’s building. As she reaches the elevator she presses the button repeatedly. “Come on!” Lena mutters in frustration.

Finally the doors slide open and Lena scrambles inside slamming her finger on the button for Emma’s floor. She paces around as the doors close and the elevator ascends. When the doors open Lena charges towards Emma’s apartment door. She screeches to a halt when she sees a DEO agent guarding the broken down door. They look up at the noise and are surprised to see her there.

“Ms. Luthor?” The agent asks carefully.

“What’s happened? Where’s Emma?” Lena asks carefully as she approaches the agent. Her eyes widen in fear and alarm when she looks past them into the destroyed apartment. She swallows to keep her emotions in check, trying to place her Luthor mask on.

The agent looks at Lena before grabbing a radio. “Wait there. Sir?”

“Go ahead.” Lena recognises J'onn’s voice and looks at the radio.

“Ms Luthor is here.”

“Standby.”

Lena frowns and looks back into the apartment. She feels sick at the sight. There’s huge cracks on the walls, windows and floor. Emma’s stuff is littered everywhere. Lena’s eyes widen again when she spots the damage done to the piano. She can even make out Emma’s phone on the floor. ‘It’s crushed.’ Lena thinks, her heart beats wildly in fear for Emma’s safety.

“Lena.” J'onn says beside her, causing her to jump.

“J'onn! What happened? Where’s Emma? Is she okay?” Lena shoots off without taking a breath. J'onn looks at her sadly which makes Lena’s heart fall into her stomach.

Lena notices J'onn swallow, like he’s trying to find the words. “Emma… Was attacked. I think it's best we head to the DEO and I will be able to fill you in there.”

Lena’s world tilts. All she heard was ‘Emma was attacked.’ A steady hand grasps her shoulders, keeping her in place.

“Lena, I’m going to take you to the DEO. Okay?” J’onn says carefully, making sure the shocked woman in front of him heard what he said. The colour had gone from her face and J'onn was becoming more worried she was going to faint.

He walks her to the end of the hallways and gently picks her up. He knows they could go in an unmarked DEO vehicle but flying will be a lot quicker and he may need medical care for the shaking woman in his arms.

-- -- --

Lena blinks and realises she’s now standing outside the medical wing of the DEO. “Can you stand?” J’onn asks.

Lena nods and J’onn gently puts her down and is guiding her into a medical room but there is no bed. J’onn motions for Lena to sit on the sofa at the side of the room. She sits down carefully. Trying to keep composed as much as she can. J’onn grabs a chair and sits in front of her.

Lena takes a deep breath. “What happened? Where’s Emma?”

“We don’t know the full details yet. But it seems like Kara and Alex were poisoned with a substance similar to Red Kryptonite and attacked Emma.” J’onn says carefully, watching as the news hits the woman in front of him. “She is currently in surgery and Kara and Alex are being held in cells until we can figure out how to cure them.”

Lena stares at the man in front of her. It didn’t compute that Alex and Kara would attack Emma. She takes a shuddering breath as she remembers the destruction she saw in the apartment.

“A-are-” Her voice trembles and is thick with emotion. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to try to calm herself. “Are they okay? Is Emma okay?”

J’onn hesitates. “They all have a long recovery ahead of them.” In a show of compassion he reaches out and takes a hold of Lena’s hand. “I’m sorry but you need to prepare yourself. It looks like Emma might not make it. The surgeons are doing all they can but the trauma is just too severe.”

Lena’s mouth drops open. Just this morning Lena had woken up to Emma lovingly gazing at her and now she was fighting for her life. “No. No. No. No!” Lena stands and paces the room. “J’onn, you must be mistaken.” She looks at him, pleading that what he had just said wasn't true.

“I wish I was.” J’onn says softly watching Lena cross her arms tightly over her chest. Her left hand raising slightly as she thinks.

“But, it doesn’t make sense.” Lena says to herself. Her brows furrow. J’onn tries not to listen in, but Lena’s mind is practically screaming as she tries to analyse everything. Lena’s eyes connect with his again. “What happened?”

J’onn sighs, knowing he has to tell her before she hears it from another source. Already DEO lawyers have contacted the band and their team to break the news of the attack. But not disclosing any details about the attackers. J’onn wouldn’t be surprised if news stations were already broadcasting it.

“Emma’s neighbours below her apartment called the police when they heard screams and loud noises. We picked up the call and immediately went to the apartment...” He falters remembering what he witnessed.

“Go on.” Lena whispers, afraid of what J’onn would say but needing to hear it.

“I found Kara and Alex kneeling over Emma, choking her.”

Tears fill Lena’s eyes and she bites her lip, refusing to let them fall.

“I managed to get Kara off Emma and distract both of them long enough for the team to subdue them.”

“What- What makes you think Emma won’t survive?” Lena feels herself tremble as she says the words. Trying not to focus on the reality that the woman she loves could die.

“You don’t want to know.”

“I do. I love her more than anything in the world. I need to know J’onn. Please.” Even though Lena has her Luthor mask on, J’onn can see Lena is breaking beneath it.

“Please sit down.” He nods back to the sofa. Thankfully Lena complies and she sits down again. But J’onn notices her back is too rigid. Her hands grasped tightly in front of her.

They sit in silence for a moment before J’onn begins listing Emma’s injuries. “Her left shoulder is dislocated. Multiple ribs are broken and a few pierced her lungs. Major internal bleeding from multiple kicks and punches to her stomach. Her face is bruised and severely swollen. Her cheeks are cracked. And…” J’onn pauses, he moves his lower jaw, trying to keep his emotions in check. Lena doesn’t blink as she waits for J’onn to continue. “Her throat is crushed.”

Finally Lena’s mask breaks and her face scrunches up. Tears stream from her eyes and a sob escapes her mouth.

In another moment of tenderness J’onn reaches out and gently holds Lena’s shoulder as she sobs.

-- -- --

As J’onn predicted, news stations started broadcasting about Emma’s attack when the band released a statement that the tour was postponed until further notice. They purposely kept the statement vague because the DEO hadn’t disclosed the information of Emma’s attackers. Only that Emma was fighting for her life after being attacked in her home.

More security had to be placed around Emma’s apartment building as journalists and camera crews lined the street outside the building to record their segments and ask questions to anyone entering or leaving.

The news also spread like wildfire across social media. Many celebrities and musicians write about their disbelief and grief about the news. Sending their prayers and love to Emma and her family. As well as a huge outpouring of love from her fans.

And as soon as the news broke the medical room began to fill with the Superfriends.

“Should someone tell Eliza?” Sam asks gently while holding onto Lena, who is slumped against her shoulder on the sofa. Drained from her outburst.

J’onn nods. “I’ll go get her.” He moves towards the door. “Call me if anything changes.” He orders Brainy who nods while tapping his tablet.

Lena watches him go and all she wants to do is fall asleep, finding out that everything has just been one horrible nightmare. That she would awaken to the feeling of Emma gently touching her face and the room bathed in the morning sunlight. That she hadn’t ran off to work so quickly. Maybe if she had stayed none of this would have happened.

After a while the Superfriends hear running footsteps as Eliza rushes into the room followed closely by J’onn. The older blonde looks around at them. Her face terrified and pale. Her eyes glistened with tears. Nia immediately approaches her and tries to console the shaking woman.

“No change?” J’onn quietly asks Brainy who shakes his head still looking over data on his tablet. The lack of contact from the surgeons is keeping everyone on edge. They remained hopeful as sometimes no news is good news. But, it was still hard to sit and wait around.

Lena lifts her head and watches Eliza try to compose herself. Lena can’t imagine what she must be going through. To know two of her daughters have been manipulated to almost kill their baby sister. Someone they love and treasure with everything they have.

Taking a deep breath Lena unwraps Sam’s arms and slowly stands and walks towards Eliza. As Lena approaches she realises she’s never noticed that Emma’s eyes are very similar to Eliza’s. This punches Lena right in the gut.

“Lena.” Eliza notices the raven haired woman approach. She turns to her daughter’s girlfriend and opens her arms, wrapping them around the CEO.

Immediately Lena starts crying again. “I-I came to com-fort y-you!” Lena’s frustration as her emotions spills out. Again. ‘Lillian would be so proud of me’ Lena thinks sarcastically.

“We are comforting each other.” Eliza soothes gently while rubbing Lena’s back.

Lena lifts her arms and holds onto Eliza. She tries to hold the sobs back but having Eliza show her motherly love just breaks her. Nia and Sam join the hug, supporting the other two women and tears fall from their eyes.

“Excuse me.” Doctor Hamiltion knocks on the opened door. Lena pulls away from Eliza and quickly turns around. The Doctor still had her scrub hat on but had taken her surgical gear off.

Sam gently holds onto Lena’s shoulders from behind. Not liking the way Doctor Hamilton was struggling to meet their eyes.

“I’m sorry, but the wounds are too severe, we’ve done all we can.”

A high ringing noise fills Lena’s ears. The Doctor’s mouth keeps moving but Lena can’t hear her. Lena’s vision blurs. She feels someone catching her, guiding her over to the sofa and putting her head between her legs.

-- -- --

“Lena?” Sam calls to her friend softly. She immediately worried when Lena started to sway and that worry increased when she saw how ashen Lena had become. When her friend still doesn’t respond Sam tries to think over the different ways she can deliver the news to Lena about Emma’s condition.

Hearing Doctor Hamilton’s words of “Emma’s body is being kept alive by life support and we will give you time to say your goodbyes.” Broke the CFO’s heart. The fact Emma had been attacked by her sisters, even though they were under another influence, shocked Sam greatly. Her thoughts turn to Alex. How devastated the redhead is going to feel when she comes around. But no matter what Sam decides she will be there for her.

Sam looks over at Eliza. Who had also collapsed from the news and had been guided into a chair by J’onn.

Eventually Lena raises her head enough that they aren’t between her legs anymore. But she keeps her eyes closed, still feeling woozy and takes a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry, but... we’ve done all we can.” Doctor Hamilton’s words keep repeating in her mind.

“Lena.” Brainy kneels in front of the distraught woman. “You remember the healing serum we’ve been working on?”

Lena lifts her head up slowly and looks at the alien in front of her.

“I’ve been working on it. It isn’t perfect but if my calculations are correct. It should heal Emma enough that she’s out of danger.”

“It could save her?” Sam asks hopefully and Brainy nods at her.

“What are the risks?” Eliza asks wiping the tears from her face, going into scientist mode.

“It kills her or gives her a number of compilations.”

“Not much different to what we have now. Lena? What do you think?” Eliza looks at the raven haired woman.

But Lena turns her attention to Sam. “What else did the Doctor say?” Lena can see the hesitation in her friend's eye and how Nia stiffles a sob and moves away from them.

“That Emma’s body is on life support and the machines will be turned off after we’ve said our goodbyes.” Sam says gently. Knowing she needs to tell Lena the full truth.

Lena closes her eyes and leans back into the sofa. Sam follows her movement in case she keels over.

“Lena?” Eliza slowly stands and makes her way over to the sofa. She sits next to Lena and gently places her hand on the devastated CEO. Lena jumps and her eyes snap open. She looks at Eliza with a deep sorrow that breaks the older blonde’s heart. “Should we use the serum?” Eliza says carefully.

Lena goes through her calculations again. “The- the test’s we have done, have mainly been in failure.” Lena admits quietly.

“But what if it succeeds?” Eliza asks, squeezing Lena’s hand gently. “Please try.” Eliza implores the woman her baby girl loves.

Lena places her hand on top of Eliza and nods.

“Do you need me to get anything?” J’onn asks, ready to get things going.

“My tablet which is on my desk. Other than that-” Lena looks to Brainy. “Is everything here that we need.”

“Yes.” Brainy nods his head before looking back at his tablet. “Alex’s lab will be sufficent.”

A chill runs through the friend’s after hearing Alex’s name.

J’onn leaves quickly to get Lena’s tablet. Brainy also walks to the door and waits for Lena. She stands and they head to the lab to get everything ready.

-- -- --

Brainy and Lena work carefully as they make the healing serum for Emma. Lena isn’t hundred percent certain it will work. More fifty-fifty. Which in her books is too big of a risk. Personally she would rather keep Emma’s body and brain alive until they perfected the serum. But then there is always the danger of Emma becoming brain dead anyway. 

No wonder it feels like they are in between a rock and a hard place.

A gentle knock sounds of the laboratory door.

“Come in” Lena says as she looks in a microscope. She hears someone enter and the smell of food fills the lab.

“Hey.” Sam’s voice calls out. “Thought you might need refueling.”

But Lena carries on with what she’s doing. Analysing the data. Begging the damaged cells to regenerate.

“Thank you.” Brainy says taking one of the take out bags from Sam. He heads back to his desk and starts eating while looking over his tablet.

The brunette sighs softly and sits in the stool next to Lena. She places Lena’s food far enough from the samples not to contaminate anything but near enough that Lena would see it when she looks up. She also opens the take out bag and tries to waft the smell towards her friend.

When that doesn’t work Sam closes her eyes for a moment. “Lena.” When Sam re-opens them she stares at the CEO in front of her. But Lena continues to work. Sam reaches out and gently places her hand on her friend’s shoulder, causing Lena to jump. Her head snapping up at her.

Sam swallows when she sees how blood shot Lena’s eyes are.

“You need to eat.” Sam says in a motherly tone.

“I don’t have time.” Lena bites back and goes to look back in the microscope. But Sam blocks her by placing her hand over the eyepiece.

“Lena.” Sam’s tone shifts slightly to be more sharp. She watches as Lena clenches her jaw. “You need to eat. Your brain needs the fuel to keep thinking properly.”

“And junk food is the answer to that?” Lena grumbles. Wanting to just remove Sam’s hand but knowing she’d never be able to even move Sam’s pinky finger.

Sam smiles and tilts her head. “The greasy burger is mine. I got you a healthy-ish Tai meal.” Sam pulls out the clear container to show her friend she was telling the truth. “Please Lena, just for a few minutes and then you can get right back to work. I’ll even give you a few fries.”

Lena rolls her eyes but shuffles her stool towards Sam to not affect her work. Opening the lid her stomach does growl slightly. Which Lena chooses to ignore and to also ignore how Sam’s smile widens when she hears it. The friend’s sit in silence as they tuck in.

“How are they?” Lena says softly, breaking the silence.

Sam chews the rest of her burger quickly before answering. “Who?”

“Kara and Alex.” Lena’s shoulders sag slightly as she says their names.

Sam pauses before continuing. Knowing she can’t sugar coat anything. “They are still under the effect of whatever was done to them.”

Lena takes in a deep breath and sighs. “Another issue we need to fix.”

Sam nods sadly.

“Where are they?”

“In secure cells. Like the ones you placed me in.”

“Cells? They’ve been split up?”

“Yes, J’onn didn’t want to take any chances.” What Sam doesn’t tell Lena is that she snuck down to see the two Danvers sisters. It broke Sam’s heart to see them filled with such hate. How they screamed and yelled at her. Banging their fists against the force fields. She prays with all her heart that they can be cured.

Lena nods and takes another bite of her food. She can’t help but start planning how they could find an antidote for whatever Kara and Alex were poisoned with. Hoping that it will be a simple task.

But soon Lena’s mind moves back onto the issue she’s facing right now. “And-” But Lena hesitates.

“Emma?” Sam softly says. Lena eyes glisten as she meets Sam’s compassionate ones. “Do you really want to know?” Lena nods again. “She… She doesn’t look good Lena. Her face is unrecognisable and there’s so many wires and tubes. Somehow Eliza manages to hold her hand.” Sam shakes her head slightly and lowers her eyes. It had been a shock when the medical team brought Emma and the life support machines into the room. Nia had broken down but somehow Eliza had remained strong. If that had been Ruby in the bed Sam knows she would have been a huge mess. “But Eliza, well, all of us have hope that this serum will work.”

“What if it doesn’t?” Lena whispers, scared of the implications if all the work they are doing is for nothing.

“But you would have tried.” Sam says gently as she holds her friend’s hand.

“Where’s Ruby?”

“Staying at a friend’s. She wanted to be here but I couldn’t let her. She doesn’t need to see all this.”

Lena looks down at her food. Part of her wants to race in Emma’s room to see her love. But the knowledge that Emma isn’t there, not really, terrifies her.

-- -- --

They finish their meal and Sam stays in the laboratory. Looking over the data to see if she spots anything, any pattern that may help. Almost two hours later she’s sipping at her coffee Nia brought in for the trio. Something catches Sam’s eye and she blinks. Sam pauses and frowns slightly.

“Lena.” Sam says breathlessly, unsure she’s actually seeing what’s in front of her.

Lena frowns at Sam’s tone and immediately looks up from the microscope. “What is it?”

Sam holds out the tablet to Lena with shaking hands. “The seventh column, down fifteen rows.” Lena takes the tablet. “Here.” Sam points to the sequence.

Lena looks at where Sam is pointing to and her heart leaps. “Brainy!”

The alien rushes over and hovers over Lena’s shoulder to where she’s pointing to. “That’s it.” Relief fills his voice and he rushes to the machines to impute the sequence.

Lena’s eyes glisten with tears, for what feels like the millionth time that day. She places the tablet on the desk and breathes deeply. “Thank you.”

Sam quickly pulls her friend into a hug. Lena squeezes her back.

“How long until it's ready?” Sam asks as they pull apart.

“Probably until morning.” Lena bites the corner of her lips in worry. “The serum will be finished before then but I want to analyse it. To make sure.”

“Lena.” Brainy calls from the computers and the duo go over to him. They look at the data and Lena nods. Brainy presses the button and they watch the machines whirling to life. Gathering the ingredients and mixing the serum.

They wait in tense silence as the machines work. Praying it would be enough to bring Emma back from the brink.

-- -- --

Sam jumps awake as her head flops off her hand. She blinks and shakes her head. Feeling a bit disorientated. She looks at her watch, reading it was six in the morning. Her gaze moves to Lena and Brainy who are looking at the serum through microscopes.

Yawning Sam quietly gets up to bring the three of them some coffee from the staff cafeteria. It wasn’t the best but would be enough to keep them going. But no sooner as she opens the door Nia is standing there, ready to knock with a tray of take out coffees and pastries.

“Oh my god I love you!” Sam moans at the smell and holds the door open for Nia to walk through.

Nia smiles at her and chuckles while going to the center of the room and placing the tray and bag down.

“How’s things going?” Nia asks Sam, knowing Brainy and Lena will be too focused to respond.

“Okay, I think.” Sam hums when she takes a sip of her coffee and a bite of her pastry. “They’ve been at it for hours.” They both look at Brainy and Lena who continue to work. “How’s everyone?”

“James left ages ago. Kelly still hasn’t shown up and I can’t get hold of her. J’onn’s doing patrol as Supergirl and Eliza was asleep when I left to get the coffee.”

Sam nods as she takes another bite of her pastry, but she frowns. ‘Surely Kelly would have heard by now?’

“What?” Nia sees Sam’s frown.

“I’m just wondering where Kelly could be.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “If I was Alex’s girlfriend I would be here. No matter what I had planned. But I’m not… So-” Sam quickly takes another bite of her pastry and looks away from Nia, who raises her eyebrow slightly. But as Nia goes to open her mouth Sam continues talking. “Any update on the news?” She looks back at the younger woman.

“Just vague details, that Emma was attacked and is in critical condition. It’s mainly been a lot of posts by celebrities and fans.” Nia sips her coffee, deep in thought. “It’s funny actually, a report did say there has been a huge increase in streams of the band’s music since the attack.” Nia shakes her head. “How cruel that they are introduced to her music through this.”

“Yea.” Sam agrees softly.

-- -- --

Finally Lena lifts her head. Wincing slightly at the crink in her neck. She massages it to try and relieve the tension. She sniffs the air and -

“Coffee.” She turns to the desk Nia and Sam are sat at. They both look up at her as she rushes over to get a drink. Nia picks Lena’s order up, glad it's still hot, and hands it to her. “Thank you.” Lena says gratefully.

“You’re welcome.”

“Is it ready?” Sam asks hopefully.

Lena nods gently while taking a sip. “I think so.” She looks over at Brainy who also looks like he’s finishing up.

“Can you give it to Emma right away?”

“Yes.” Lena hesitantly says, which both women pick up.

“What’s wrong?” Sam frowns.

“I’m just worried it won’t work.” Lena takes another sip of her drink and looks at Nia. “You haven’t had any dreams by any chance?”

Nia shakes her head sadly.

“Ah coffee.” Brainy appears beside Lena and takes his cup. “I believe the serum is as good as we are going to get it. Within the time frame we have had of course.”

“Well sit and finish your coffee and pastries, a few more minutes won’t hurt Emma.” Sam orders, surprisingly they both listen and sit on the stools next to the two women.

After they finish Lena goes over to the machines and carefully reaches out. Picking up the phial containing the golden coloured serum.

“What are you going to call it?” Nia asks as she stares at the little phial.

“If it works-” Lena tilts her head to think. “Phoenix.”

“Arising from the ashes.” Sam smiles in approval. “Ready?”

Lena nods and heads towards the door. The quartet walk in sync towards Emma’s room. But as they near Lena suddenly freezes and her chest tightens.

“Lena?” Sam asks gently, seeing the slight fear on her friend’s face. She looks at Nia and Brainy who carry on walking into the room. When they open the door the noise of the machines fill the hallway. Causing Lena’s breathing to pick up and she backpedals against the wall. “Hey, hey, Lena. It’s okay.” Sam gently reaches out and holds her friend’s shoulders. “Emma is going to be fine. The sooner we can give her the phoenix serum, the quicker she can heal. Okay?”

“Okay.” Lena takes a deep breath. They start walking towards the door again and Sam reaches for her friend’s hand. Which Lena is grateful for, she needs something to anchor herself.

Lena takes another deep breath and enters the room. She stops abruptly and her face distorts when she sees Emma. Nothing on the bed resembles her girlfriend, other than the blonde hair, which is partly hidden away.

“Lena.” Eliza calls out softly. She stands slowly. Observing how Lena is trying to hold it together but the woman before her is clearly breaking. So Eliza carefully approaches, grateful that Sam is behind the distraught CEO. “Lena.” Eliza says again. But Lena’s eyes don't leave her daughter. “Can I have the phial?”

Lena nods slowly and holds out her hand. Her eyes briefly go to Eliza’s grateful ones before looking back at the wires and tubes keeping Emma alive.

Eliza looks at the small phial in her hands before quickly turning towards the bed and handing it to Doctor Hamilton. Who picks up the syringe and prepares it.

“Is there a better place to inject? Or will the cannula do?” Doctor Hamilton asks Brainy.

“Yes, the cannula will be fine.”

“Lena, shall we sit?” Sam asks gently. Lena doesn’t respond but Sam maneuvers her into a chair next to Emma’s bed.

“Has it worked?” J’onn asks as he enters the room.

“I’m just injecting it now.” Doctor Hamilton says as she pushes the plunger down.

Everyone seems to hold their breath as they wait to see if the phoenix serum will work.

(Part Eleven)