#i designed her with to be especially hot in a gay way

[punkitt-is-here]

The way you draw human pinkie pie is so hot sorry to just come into your askbox to say this but people are calling her cute or huggable and I need you to know she’s smoking hot and sexy also.

dont worry thats completely intentional :3👍

[starcurtain]

I wish everyone collectively understood aventurine’s character like you…things would be so much easier! I genuinely don’t understand how people keep getting his motivations wrong??? Could it be because some of the most popular Aven fanfics were written prior to his release? That could have contributed to some of the takes we tend to see about him…thoughts?

I struggled all day to come up with a concise way to answer this and couldn't think of one, so here, have a long-winded ramble:

I don't think early fic writers have much impact in the situation with Aventurine's character now, since most people can look at when a story was posted and go "Oh, this was before we had ____ information."

I think that Aventurine's problem is being a male character in a gacha game. Gacha game characters are designed to sell. Hoyo can sell female characters very, very easily. Give her huge tits and a visible underwear strap and you're good to go. I love all my guy friends, but I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: straight men are not the hardest audience to please. Hit a particular fetish (feet, spandex, dommy mommy), and you're gucci.

Nah, we all know why Jade's trailer is Like That.™

Male characters in gacha are harder to sell because women as consumers are a little harder to predict. Does every woman want a tall, ripped hunk? Shit, no, small cute boyish models like Aventurine are selling better now? Why?! Would a bad boy be more popular than a nice guy??? It's harder to account for women's tastes, especially because they are often (a little) less visually-oriented.

Hoyo is good at what they do though, and they've figured out that male characters sell very well when they possess at least one of two specific traits:

Endearing vulnerability/helplessness

Gay ship tease

Give a character both, like Aventurine? They might as well be printing money.

That sound you hear is Hoyo's stock prices rising.

So, from the very beginning, Hoyo is incentivized to create a character that appeals to people, a character people will want to crack their wallets open for. And they achieved this, first and foremost, by giving Aventurine traits that female players (in particular, but men too), find especially appealing: emotional and physical vulnerability.

We see Aventurine's pain. We sympathize with his grief. We identify with his struggle to make meaning of his difficult life. He's our woobie, blorbo, babygirl, whatever the hell they're calling it now.

He can't hide his suffering anymore. He's on the very edge. He's a dude in distress. He's surrounded by enemies! He misses his mama! He's been betrayed! No one understands him like you do, dear player!

The ultimate feeling evoked is: He needs to be saved.

When people talk about male power fantasies, I think they forget that women can experience them too, and "Emotionally vulnerable man that only I (or my favorite character) can fix" is actually a female power fantasy.

And from there it's really easy, right: the people who shell out cash to buy warps for their harmed-husbando feel like they've saved him; the people who are into mlm ships look for the nearest hot dude to be the savior Ratio was waiting for his time lol.

Morally and intellectually, this type of deep-down-golden-hearted, emotionally-wounded male character is very easy to digest. There is nothing to dislike about this type of character or role in the story: this character is a good guy who has just gone through so many terrible situations, whose victim status makes him endearing, and whose lack of agency means that any of the questionable or downright bad things he does are always the result of someone else forcing his hand, and never something he would have chosen himself.

His motivations are always clear and consistent: get free, heal, and live happily ever after.

Insert the Wreck-It Ralph meme: "Do people assume all your problems got solved when a big strong man showed up?" But to be fair, a big strong man did kind of solve Aventurine's problem, so--

Anyway, it's simple. It's straightforward. Morally, it's pretty cut and dry, black and white: Aventurine is our hero, which means everyone dictating the course of his miserable life is evil.

Hoyo is not remotely discouraging people from literally buying into this emotional appeal.

And trust me, I get it. I'll be the first to admit that hurt-comfort is its own entire genre in fandom because it is so appealing. People eat up Aventurine's tragic backstory like candy! The idea of watching a character go through hell at the hands of bad guys just to finally find a happy end is like the definition of everyone's favorite story.

In fact... people love Aventurine's suffering so much, they have invented whole new ways for him to suffer that aren't even in the game.

This is where we get all the headcanons that Aventurine was a sex slave, every single person he meets hates him because of his race, the Stonehearts are executioners holding knives to his throat, Jade enslaved him to the IPC with a lifelong contract, his material possessions belong to the company, the IPC is forcing him to take only the most dangerous missions where he is being required by his evil jailers to continually put his life on the line... You name it and I promise you, I can find a fanfic where Aventurine suffers from it. 😂

Bro can't even sleep in on his day off; life is so hard for this man.

Being serious: if the game is telling us that Aventurine is a victim... Why not make him the perfect victim?

Why not envision an Aventurine with no freedom, who bears no responsibility for any of the horrible situations he is in or any of the dubious things he does?

It's so natural to like that version of Aventurine, so appealing to see a totally powerless underdog use his own wits and charms to claw his way up to freedom. Or, if you're the kind who really relishes angst: It's even appealing to see Aventurine lose more. To delight in fics where he loses his wealth, where the IPC punishes him for past crimes while he's powerless to stop them... (I assure you, this is many people's cup of tea and the fanfics prove it!)

Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with liking characters who are exactly this straightforward! It's completely fine to embrace characters that are intentionally written to be morally above-board, whose primary role in the story is to generate angst by being a good person who suffers, or those characters who never show unlikable traits, bad decisions, or contradictory actions.

The problem is that that's just not who the game is telling us Aventurine is.

Hoyo may be capitalizing off people who love to envision poor Aventurine still living his life as a slave... But the game also needs to tell a complicated enough story overall to appeal to people who don't care about this specific husbando--Aventurine's role in the actual game's plot has to be interesting enough for almost everyone to appreciate it, not just Aventurine's simp squad. (Don't get mad, I'm in the simp squad with you.)

So his character doesn't stop at just being a pure-hearted victim who is still waiting to be saved.

Aventurine is not that easy to label, and I think the biggest struggle in this character's fandom right now is between people who prefer the even-more-angsty, still-a-slave Aventurine versus people who want a morally grey, self-destructive character instead.

To me personally, while I greatly understand the appeal of fanon!Aventurine and the joy of a really juicy angst fic where characters lose it all, I think that missing out on the depth that canon is suggesting would be a real loss on the fandom's part.

The character motivations that Aventurine shows in the game are complicated. They cancel each other out. They're basically self-harm! He makes almost every situation he's in worse for himself--on purpose.

He is a good person, but also a person who has done unspeakable things. He does have morals, but he's not above allowing those who don't have them to use him to their advantage.

He's both the victim and the victor. He's his own worst enemy. He's a lost little boy who's been making terrible decisions for himself since he was like eight years old, and a grown ass man who is barely managing to fake his way through an existence that destiny is not letting him quit.

This kind of character is a lot harder to embrace. He's done things that most people would find appalling--like willingly joining up with the organization that let his entire race be massacred. He's invented a whole new peacock persona to frivolously flaunt riches he doesn't even care about (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 101). He actively plays into racist stereotypes about his people to manipulate others through their preconceived expectations. He's made a mockery of his mother's and sister's hopes and dreams by endlessly trying to throw his own life away.

He has flaws! He bet everything he had on a ploy without doing his homework to find out if the people he was risking his life for were even still around. (Maybe he already knew, and couldn't bear to admit it, even to himself.) He's intentionally off-putting and obnoxious to everyone he meets (Poison Dart Frog Self-Defense 102). He terrifies everyone who gets close to him by (seemingly) carelessly throwing himself into the jaws of death without the slightest provocation.

He knowingly allows the IPC to exploit his power and talents for profit. Did everyone forget that his role in the Strategic Investment Department is asset liquidation?! Like, his actual day-to-day job is ruining people's lives. Canonically, Aventurine kills people when his deals go bad.

His motivations change off-screen in two lines of story text. We're told in one line that his biggest reason for joining the IPC was to make money to save the Avgin, then in the next line we find out that's impossible. And... then what? What motivations does he even have now? The whole point of his character arc from 2.0-2.1 is that he was on the edge of giving in to utter despair and nihilism because he couldn't even perceive a single reason to stay alive. He has no purpose in life before Penacony, and that didn't start with the Stonehearts at all??

People keep saying Aventurine was held in the IPC by golden handcuffs, but how do you tie down someone for whom profit is meaningless? What can you offer to a man whose only desire is to bring back something already lost forever? How do you imprison someone whose only definition of freedom is, canonically, death?

Working for the Stonehearts is obviously not healthy. But that's why Aventurine was doing it--because taking dangerous missions allowed him to put himself at risk. The job that he originally pursued hoping to save his people became a direct means to self-harm, and the IPC's only real role in that was just happily profiting off the results.

The journal entries for Aventurine's quests are there deliberately to tell the player what is on his mind, and none of it has to do with escaping from his job:

Like... Work is the least of this man's problems.

At really the risk of rambling on too long now, he's also just a massive walking contradiction:

Aventurine is among the most explicitly religious characters in the game, yet he's one of the only people in the entire game that we have ever seen actively question his people's aeon.

You might be tempted to think Aventurine's risky gambles with his life as an adult are a result of giving up after finding out about the Avgin massacre... Butttt no, Hoyo makes sure to tell us that even at knee-high in the Sigonian desert, Kakavasha was already willing to risk himself in a fight to the death against monsters because even back then he found his own life to have less value than a single memento.

He's the "chosen one" who will lead his people to prosperity... except they're all dead.

He's explicitly suicidal... andddd also a pathstrider of Preservation.

He wants to die... He doesn't want to die. He wants to make it end, yet goes to staggering lengths to continually survive. (Every plan risks his life on purpose--but every plan's win condition is also to live.) He life is the chip tossed down, but his hand is trembling beneath the table. When faced with an otherwise unsurvivable situation, Aventurine literally became a winner of the Hunger Games. He beat other innocent people to death with his own chain-bound hands just to come out alive.

He knows the IPC failed the Avgin and left them to die... and he still willingly sought out a position of power in their organization. Maybe he really is after revenge... but maybe not.

He starts his journey in the IPC with a truly noble goal in mind: to help his people using his newfound wealth and power. He's a good guy who did genuinely want to save the Avgin and repay all those who helped him. But once it became clear he was too late, once it was obvious he would have no use at all for that monetary wealth and power he risked his life to get... What did he do with it? Unlike Jade, we don't see him over here donating to orphanages. (I'm not that heartless; I'm sure he does actually do a lot of good things with his money on the side, but the point is that the game does not show us that--it shows us, over and over again, Aventurine putting on a wasteful, over-indulgent persona toward wealth. We've supposed to feel how meaningless money is to him, how meaningless everything is becoming to him.)

He outright refuses to use underhanded tactics or to cheat at gambles, which is meant to show us that's he's more morally upright than his coworkers. There's an entire exchange where he says that he'll never stoop to using manipulation the way Opal does. But... he doesn't have any issue fulfilling Opal's exact agenda. He was never remotely morally conflicted about denying the Penaconians their freedom by dragging Penacony back under IPC control.

He's willing to risk his own life, which is one thing--but he's also willing to risk other people's well-being. Topaz accuses him of constantly egging their clients on into dangerous situations; we've actively seen him shove a gun into Ratio's hands and pull the trigger with no care for how Ratio would feel about that on their very first meeting... Dragging the Astral Express crew into the entire Penacony plan in the first place was exceedingly dangerous...

To me, I just think it's vital to understand his character through the lens of these contradictions because they demonstrate the extreme polarity of Aventurine's life: from rags to riches, from powerless to empowered by multiple aeons, from willing to kill to survive to killing himself... He has quite literally lived a life of "all or nothing," and while he is the victim of many terrible situations out of his control, his arc as a character involves facing the truth of himself and the future his own actions are hurtling him toward.

Frankly, the Aventurine that canon is suggesting is a little annoying. You want to grab him by the shoulders, shake him, and say "Why are you like this?!" And he won't even have an answer for you, because he doesn't even know why he's still alive.

In the end, to me, this is so, so much more interesting. I can read an endless supply of hurt-comfort fics where Aventurine escapes the evil IPC and Ratio is there to fill the void in his life with the power of love and catcakes and be a perfectly happy clam online, but I want canon to continue to serve us this incredible mess of a man who constantly takes one step forward and two steps back.

Who is fully aware of his role as a cog in the grotesque profit-wheel of cosmic capitalism and still manages to say he never changed from the rags-wearing desert rat of the Sigonian wastes.

Who over and over again flirts with nihility but, ultimately, even if he has to wrest it from the grip of the gods themselves with bloody, chain-bound hands, chooses life.

[teambyler]

The arrow on Mike's shirt indicates his romantic attention throughout s4

After El is arrested and leaves for the lab, Mike wears a shirt with a triangle over his heart that points toward his left. It points toward Will for much of the season.

Bylers point to the triangle as evidence of his love for Will. It points from Mike's HEART. Costume designer Amy Parris says they put triangles on Robin's shirt as an "easter egg" for LGBT+ representation (timestamp); no reason not to think they custom-made Mike's shirt for a similar reason. The origin of the triangle symbol is the Holocaust, when gay men were forced to wear a pink triangle over the left side of their chest -- the same spot on MIke's shirt.

To test this theory, I reviewed all of s4. (Some of this stuff won't be news to Byler Nation, but some will. Especially the last part!)

Here are all of Mike and Will's "heart-to-heart" scenes. Immediately when El departs, we see a softer, more sensitive Mike. Note that I include one where Mike is only wearing a white T-shirt, which made sense because he was shoveling in the hot desert. There the implied arrow is pointing toward Will; he is always to our left in every frame:

See the exception? Yes, it's EXACTLY the scene where Will is telling Mike that the painting is from El, where Mike is being misdirected away from Will by Will's own actions. This only strengthens the idea that the arrow is significant. Where the arrow's pointing seems to reflect Mike's own romantic attentions over the season. In fact, in the next scene after that conversation, Mike is consistently blocked so that his arrow points AWAY from Will (whereas before at Suzie's house it was more random). AND he is not blocked next to Will, in contrast to how they're almost always paired throughout the show's run:

The other times it's important to look at the blocking is when Mike, Will, and El are in the same scene while he's wearing the shirt. Here are their most significant scenes:

When Mike reunites with El, the arrow points away from Will and then towards El. Again, Will has just lied and attributed the painting to El. But that's the last time it unambiguously points toward her. The "piggyback plan" shot is VERY suggestive of a Byler ending: look at how the circle is around Mike and Will, with El outside it. The pizza scene is interesting: Mike is talking to El and the arrow in some shots points toward El, but in the physical space it is actually pointing toward WILL back in the kitchen. More scenes:

During the monologue while Mike's telling El he loves her, the arrow is conflicted, pointing toward Will but El is also in the middle of the shot. (They could've easily had them on El's other side for a reverse effect.) After that scene, we all know that El is hardly speaking to Mike. By now, the arrow is unambiguously pointing toward Will again. In Max's hospital room while his arm is around El, AGAIN it points toward Will. In Mike and Will's last heart-to-heart scene above, it points toward Will. And of course, in the final scene, not only does it point toward Will, but Mike chooses to stand with Will instead of walk forward with his girlfriend.

Here's another detail I think others haven't caught yet. It's from the van scene. We know that the arrow points away from Will throughout, reflecting how Will is pushing Mike away:

However, remember Jonathan looking at them through the rearview mirror? In THOSE shots, the positioning is what we're used to seeing! The arrow pointing toward Will is implied.

Plus, in the two shots through the mirror, Mike looks at Will, who is looking away. All these shots parallel each other and reflect their mutual misunderstanding: Boy A on the left looks at (and is interested in) the other, but Boy B on the right is looking away (and is uninterested, or so Boy A thinks!).

The way the scene is written, Jonathan represents the outside viewer who knows what is going on more than the two boys do. It has been pointed out that this scene is basically from Will's POV. It therefore makes sense that when we're in Will's space, the arrow points away because he doesn't believe Mike likes him back. But we, as outsiders looking in, see what's actually happening. In this perspective, Mike's eyes -- and heart -- are on Will!

-teambyler

[smartie-chan]

Long rambling incoming in 3,2,1...

I know that I'm not really any kind of big celebrity in the Stobotnik world. The only thing I've got going for myself is the fact that I've been there since the very beginning, with my one 'I'm so proud of this community' Meme getting a like or two every full moon or so. It's also been a hot second since I've written a Stobotnik Fic, and yet, I've never really left the fandom. Far from it.

So boooooy, when that trailer dropped, let's just say, I've been going wild! That being said, I have calmed down a tiny bit and woud like to share my two cents with you all.

Especially since, considering how gay the trailer was, I've noticed people kind of leaning into either of two camps.

Team 1: They might actually make it canon y'all. This is not a drill!!!!

or

Team 2: This is the most intense queerbaiting I've ever seen, but fuck it, take my money!

Now, I will tell you where I'm standing at the end of things, but let's talk facts before I do, shall we?

I know Jim & Lee were having fun on set during Movie 1, but I doubt either of them expected us all to get quite this feral over these two evil man. In fact, I'm not sure what their plans were for Agent Stone in general. I'd love to believe that they saw us freaking the fuck out and decided to make Stone a big part of the sequels because of that. But then I look at the Robotnik Mushroom Planet scene and think: They gave this man an actual stone to hold onto, going so far as to carve Stone's face into said stone, just so he could pretend he wasn't alone and Stone was still with him. Clearly, Robotinik was never willing to admit that he cared, admit that there could be someone who he had allowed to get close, given that there had never been anyone before who had cared enough about HIM, so why should HE make the mistake of caring about someone else either. Cause, you know, it's easier to pretend there's noone than admit that there could be, just to realise that you were wrong actually. And yet. Despite all that he held onto Stone the stone, like his life depended on it. I love that scene because it's hella gay, but I love it even more because it's amazing writing, giving us the payoff for the forshadwed "I won't miss you when you're gone" scene from way back when. They didn't have to do that. And yet they made that choice. Included that moment for a reason. So I'd love to think that even back then, they were very willing to play with the dynamic of them going forward.

Clearly things and plans changed After Movie 1 , after we saw these two and made Stobotnik as big as it is. I'll talk about movie 2 in a hot second, but let's return to the way they promoted 2 first. Cause THAT was CLEARLY queerbaiting ... or was it... ? For you see, they knew what they were doing, they knew how to get us all excited , posting this on Valentine, letting Sonic make a heart, drawing the whole thing in a romantic light, going so far as to include bi-lighting in the trailer. On top of the latte art that was designed to get us queers to show up. I saw that art, freaked out and showed it to all of my friends. One friend, let's call her Barbara, smiled at me, like you smile at somone who still believes in the Easter Bunny and told me she hoped I knew they were playing with me. In fact, she was kind of dissapointed I allowed them to get to me so much. And I KNEW. I knew they were trying to bait me. I'm not stupid. This isn't the first time I've been queerbaited after all. And it won't be the last time, that's for sure. And yet, I didn't care because I loved that they acknowledged us. Loved that they were willing to give us something, even if it wasn't actually real and they were clearly NEVER going to include actual ship latte art of Stone & Robotnik together. Cause that would be gay. Haha. And those two totally weren't gay. Ain't I right? :)) Queer rep has gotten more common and yet, so has queerbaiting. Cause nowadays the chance that something could be actually made canon is way more likely than it was, let's say, 15 years ago. So companies love to use that, love playing into that even more. Like, do I have to remind you all what they were doing for the Deadpool & Wolverine movie marketing ??? Just saying.

As much as I love Lee and as much as we're loosing our marbels every time he as much as winks in our direction, I'll not be using any of his posts as evidence for the points I'm about to make further down. Cause, you know, at the end of the day, he's just one of us as well. Another shipper. A hella supportive shipper who may or may not have had a hand in the way he portrayed Stone, but still. Love you Lee. Thank you for having our back!

So now. Movie 2. And the godforsaken Maid Dress Scene. I hope we are all proud of ourselves. Cause that scene was our doing. I promise you, promise you!!! they didn't have that planned before the fandom happend. They saw us and were like "You can have this. As a treat :3". Personally I didn't freak out as much as the rest of you all, but I'm glad you guys had fun. It was a gift to us after all, so I guess it's fine if we enjoyed it. Jokes aside though, let's get back to what movie 2 did, even though they may or may not have realised it at the time. As in: They made Stobotnik canon. What do you mean by canon, Smartie?????, you might ask. And I'll answer, cause it's simple: I mean canon, as in canon. Yes, that's right. Stobotnik has been canon for a while... or... at least 50% of it. Let's get back to the Latte, shall we? Back then I thought they were making fun of us. Queerbaiting at it's finest. And then the movie happend and Stone confessed his love right then and there for the world to see, basically drawing fanart into Robotnik's caffe for who knows how long and Robotnik? That stupid -3000 IQ genius knew. He fucking knew!! Has always known and was either unwilling to read between the lines or mistook the affection for simple loyalty. Not-Spoiler: It's the later by the way, because we have that deleted scene. That beautiful deleted scene. But let's get back to the art for a second. Because I was basically dying in my seat. And I didn't think people were talking about it enough, cause it was the proof, not that stupid maid outfit that was simply put in as a joke that audiences were supposed to laugh at. But this. This! The whole scene were Stone was lovesick and heartbroken, drawing art of his lost non-lover, the way the life returned to his eyes the second said man returned, on top of literally all of him for the rest of the movie prooved one thing to me: Agent Stone was in love with Dr. Robotnik. It's clear he's never said so out loud, and for a good reason, but he didn't have to. It was so obvious anyone with an IQ lower than 299 could have seen. Just a shame that that one 300 IQ guy couldn't. So now, deleted scene time. Woopwoop. :P Recall how they had planned to make Stone even more in love and heart-eyed - JESUS CHRIST MY GUY - but went for an alternative scene instead? In case you aren't familiar with the scene, it's basically Stone telling Robotnik how he's followed his guide-lines, making the Stone Comic Canon, how he's made sure noone touched his babies, how he's known he'd return, how he's waited for him all this time cause he knew KNEW he'd come back and for a second there Robotnik doesn't know what to say. He looks that man in the eyes and for a split second he wonders, questions, and then... then he's scared. Scared of what that could mean. Scared that he could actually mean something to someone and he panics and decides to use violence to laugh it off, to refelect, to pretend that in that moment, he didn't actually feel something. That Stone didn't make him feel ... vulnerable. Because at that point, he cares too. He's not ready to admit it, at least not without having to joke about it. But he does. He does!! And the thought of it being mutual scares him. Probably more than anything ever has. Because if he allows this, this feeling to settle and bloom, he's got to admit that this, whatever it is, has the power to destroy and hurt him. And he can't do that. Maybe not again. Maybe not ever. Not now. Not now that he's what... 40? and has found peace with the fact that he'll die alone.

I know they were leaning into Stobotnik a lot, but they also... kind of didn't, following the natural consequences of the stuff they had set up in the prior movie, allowing Robotnik to go through an actual character arc. It's subtle, and he's still and asshole - always wil be - but that doesn't change the fact that his arc still exists and is actually very well done. Stone doesn't really have that obvious of an arc. Because it's not really much of an arc, we're just learning more about him, fleshing out his character. The only thing we know for certain is, that he adores and loves Robotnik and that he's willing to betray everyone and everything for him. Even if Robotnik never loves him back. He's accepted that, as long as he's alowed a place at his side.

And now, my fellow shippers, movie 3. Or rather, pre-movie 3. And the much discussed question: Are we getting queerbaited? Well, that depends how you define queerbaiting, doesn't it? Is it queerbaiting if it's unrequited love? Cause that's our current standpoint. Stone has found his doctor, nursed him back to health, lived with him, been by his side for months (years) and the only thing that is standing in their way now is: Robotnik's feelings. They have great build-up, put this man on a path, shown us how he's grown and now all that's left is to see, how they'll decide to finish his story. If I look at all that's happend up to this point, from a writing/writer stand-point, I'd say, that it would make sense for Robotnik to admit, that he cares. Cause that has been his arc, his journey. To admit that yes: He doesn't care about humanity, but he does care about Stone. Has for a very long while in fact. Be that platonic, or romantic. Doing literally anything else would not make sense at that point and would actually be an insult to their own work. And their writing has been pretty solid, so I'm confident we will get something. Especially since... I HAVE seen the leaks. Now, storyboards are just that. Something from early development, something that could change. Which is why I'd normally ignore them.... iiiiiiiif it weren't for that one line from the trailer. That one. fucking. line. That made me realise: Holy shit, those mad lads are doing it. They are finishing Robotnik's arc. That's when I understood why Team 1 was loosing their marbels. Because,

SPOILER!!!!! he is going to admi it. He is going to admit it to himself, and he's gonna do something so wild and crazy it scares me more than you understand. The only question is. Will he surive to tell the tale? And if he does, will he be brave enough to share that admission with Stone?

END OF SPOILER

I don't have links to the storyboard. In retrospect, I should have saved them. But what's done is done. Not that I cod delete the knowledge of what I've seen even if I tried. People seem hesitant to tell people all they have seen, cause those of us who have, and know the Sonic 2 story seem to have a good understanding of what and when that spoiler is taking place. And especially what outcome it seems to be leading into. But, if anyone asks, I am willing to share what it was I saw. If you really wanna know. If you are truly sure.

That being said. How do I feel about Stobotnik? I don't think we're getting a kiss. But I think (and hope) we're gonna get a moment. A moment of Robotnik being open, of him sharing that Stone means somethig to him. They even have the potential to include a joke here, of Stone perhaps attempting to hug Robotnik, for him to allow it for 3 seconds or so, only for him to punch Stone and say something along the lines of: "Okay, that's enough." You know, something close to the High Five moment, just THIS TIME they actually do the high five (or hug). You can have the feels and the joke. It's still Robotnik after all. It's what I'm hoping for, actually, cause I don't think Robotnik is ready for THAT admission quite yet. A hug though? That I could see.

I know we still have to fight against being exploited and played with, but that being said, I don't think love confessions have to always be that huge thing, that clashing of tongues and body parts. They can also be soft and quite. A moment of vulnerability and trust. Of openness. In fact, if Robotnik were to allow Stone a hug, it would be even more impactful than a kiss could ever be. He's hugging Gerald in the trailer, so they have shown me that they are not afraid to make this man hug.

It gives me hope. And it - and the leaks - are the reason why I'm Team 1. I think we could actually get canon Stobotnik you all. And I'm so hyped you don't understand. Let's see what Stobotnik marketing they are going to feed us over the next few months. I, for one, am looking forward to it. ^-^

Live long and prosper 🥚🖤🪨

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons

I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.

Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.

I.E.(this list is going to be looong):

All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...

The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.

Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…

… so-called "gay button" into your games.

Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…

"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.

If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!

Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?

Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).

But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.

Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.

Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.

And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.

If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!

So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!

If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.

Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!

The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0

9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.

"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.

Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.

Mass Effect:

MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.

Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.

Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.

I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.

Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"

Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.

Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.

Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.

Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.

Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.

And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.

[nightsetter]

Aubrey Plaza movie & show reviews

i know i'm not the only one obsessed with aubrey rn so i thought i'd rank some of her stuff that i've seen and indicate whether her character is gay or not to help people decide what to watch. i'll keep adding to it and hope others will add their recommendations too!!

starting with the most recent:

1. Agatha All Along (2024 series) - Gay - 10/10 obviously it's why we're all here haha.

2. Megalopolis (2024 drama) - Not gay - worst movie i've ever seen in my life lmao. however you get the incomparable experience of watching a bitchy blonde aubrey plaza sit on a dude's face so. also all her outfits are incredible??? 0/10 don't bother watching, aubrey is only in a few scenes so just skip around to find those.

3. My Old Ass (2024 drama/comedy) - Gay - 10/10 watch this asap! i laughed i cried, like in the best way. aubrey is only in a couple scenes, a longer one kinda towards the beginning and then a short one at the end, she also does voiceovers throughout. her character is bisexual and the focus is a mlw relationship. she's fantastic in it and the whole movie is excellent, loved maisy stella too and their chemistry together.

4. Operation Fortune (2023 spy thriller) - Not gay - action movies aren't usually my thing but aubrey plays the role of a sexy hacker spy like she was born for it and i loved every second haha. i wish the script had lived up to her potential but it was still a fun watch. 8/10 for that one gold dress ALONE

5. Emily the Criminal (2022 drama) - Not gay - 10000/10 HIGHLY RECOMMEND my personal favorite so far!!! Aubrey co-produced and she plays the main character. when i tell you this woman had me ACTINGG UPPPPPP in this sweet mother of all that is holy- she looks so good in every scene and it's genuinely great start to finish. boyfriend aubrey plaza save me 🙏

6. Spin Me Round (2022 black comedy) - Gay - ok so this movie is batshit but there's a truly incredible makeout scene with alison brie's character... aubrey is only there for like 1/3 of the movie but she steals every scene and looks soooo good in it, amazing costume design. i'll give it a 6/10 for that and her chemistry with alison.

7. Best Sellers (2021 drama) - Not gay - i loved this one!! aubrey's talent and range blew me away, and it's a heartfelt story. she stars as a publishing company heiress who develops a father-daughter bond with an old cranky author. definitely up there with emily the criminal & black bear as some of her best work. 9/10

8. The White Lotus (2021-ongoing series) - Not gay - aubrey stars in season 2, which you can jump right into if you want because each season is a stand-alone story. i enjoyed s1 as a satire about different types of social privilege, s2 was way less interesting and i found myself just waiting for the next time aubrey was on screen lol. but she's amazing in a dramatic role and wears so many bikinis lord forgive meee- 7/10 overall.

9. Happiest Season (2020 rom com) - Gay - everyone has seen this, but aubrey plaza and kristen stewart in the same movie is WAY too powerful i think i blacked out at one point. alison brie is great too. 8/10 minus a couple because of the stupid ending and idk its a lil cheesy haha.

10. Black Bear (2020 drama) - Not gay - another one that she co-produced and starred in. ill be honest it was too straight for me to really enjoy lmao. its a meta dive into the indie film industry that went over my head at times but it's thought-provoking and clearly very personal to aubrey's life and career, especially how she works so closely with her husband. she is insanely insanely hot in it and really showcases her talent so ill give it a 7/10.

11. Child's Play (2019 slasher) - Not gay - tbh i thought this movie was hilarious loll. aubrey stars as the mom, i wish there'd been more of a focus on her, it's more from the son's perspective but she's awesome in it and it's cool to see her in a different type of role. 6/10 it was fun as far as horror movies go. tw for gore

12. An Evening With Beverly Luff Linn (2018 comedy) - Not gay - i dont even know what to say about this one dlkjfdl. 1/10 aubrey is the only good part.

13. The Little Hours (2017 black comedy) - Gay - bro this one is a RIDE... aubrey plaza as a crazy heretical nun is one of the funniest things i've everrrr seen. she co-produced and stars in it again with alison brie. hilarious movie for its target audience (me), aubrey kisses 2 women and there's one scene in particular that uhh 🥵 well. no sorry i mustn't say. 11/10 movie (in my very subjective opinion loll). tw for sexual assault.

14. Ingrid Goes West (2017 black comedy) - Not gay - she co-produced and stars in this opposite elizabeth olsen. aubrey is always at home playing freakish characters and the movie is pretty entertaining. i was disappointed by the glaring lack of gay subtext haha but ill give it a 7/10. tw for attempted suicide.

15. Legion (2017-2019 series) - Gay - this show was so boring but i guess kinda interesting sometimes? haha she appears in most episodes only briefly and unfortunately this has to be the hottest character she's ever played, she's sooo in her element just being totally unhinged. her best eps are 1x06, 2x05 (😳), second half of 2x09 (hooks up with a girl), honorable mention to 2x10/11 bc she's only in a couple scenes but looks so good. season 3 she gets a little more consistent screen time dressed like a hippie if you can imagine, also somehow gets a woman pregnant? LOL idk i lost the plot at some point... good luck if you decide to watch (you definitely should). 4/10 tw for sexual assault and suicide.

16. Addicted to Fresno (2015 black comedy/rom com) - Gay - aubrey plays the love interest to natasha lyonne's character in this. she's only in a handful of scenes and i love natasha but their chemistry wasnt great imo. it's fun tho and has a happy ending, there's one cute kiss at the end. plus sweaty gym clothes 😶 i'll give it a 5/10.

17. Ned Rifle (2014 drama) - Not gay - i must be crazy for actually liking this movie kdfjd. kinda funny, very weird/disturbing, like an indie cult vibe. it's the 3rd film in a trilogy so you'll have to read summaries of the first 2 to follow what's going on. aubrey plays a starring role and her character does have an unsettling storyline but she's still soo fineeee and talented in it ugh. 5/10 its for a certain audience lmao, you'll either like it or hate it. tw for suicide and themes about sexual grooming.

18. The To Do List (2013 comedy) - Not gay - i probably would have liked this more when i was in high school haha but it's still pretty funny. she plays the nerdy main character experimenting with sex for the first time, so. a lot of what would you would expect with that 😭 god is real that's all i can tell you, 7/10

19. Parks and Recreation (2009-2015 series) - Not gay - this is the one she's famous for of course but for anyone who hasn't seen it, she gets a decent amount of screen time in an ensemble cast playing an adorably chaotic intern. 8/10 recommend if you're looking for a half hour sitcom, it's a great time :)

20. Criminal Minds (2005-ongoing series) - Gay - i only watched 4 episodes so can't speak on the quality of the show as a whole but i loved her soo much in it. she plays a femme fatale hitwoman which is the perfect aubrey role lmao. there are mentions of her relationships with women, but the focus is on her interest in a guy. She stars in 11x11, 12x22, and 15x6. also makes a brief appearance at the end of 12x21. 8/10 no complaints, totally worth watching for her.

i hope this is helpful to someone and please add more reviews if you'd like!

[normal-enderman]

My interpretations of people in the Life Series, as someone who is a very casual viewer and has no emotional investment in the series and barely knows any of the fandom knowledge below surface level.

Jimmy - stupid. so stupid. he barely has two braincells to rub together. but unfortunately for me i find it adorable. hes also blonde and young and pretty and im a basic idiot who likes young pretty twinks. he also has a really pretty smile. but hes so stupid. he sucks at minecraft. he dies all the time. his editing is also mid.

Joel - my second favourite after Jimmy. did I mention Jimmy's my favourite? no I didn't. im not basic. shut up. Joel is really cool. he's very funny and i love the overly-aggressive persona he puts on, he's one of the people who gets the most into roleplaying (it's basically his default for whenever he's on camera, he has a very defined cc persona that he never breaks out of), so it's easy to get immersed watching him. his editing is also seamless and brilliant. and he has good music taste. just a cool guy. i like the green streak in his mc skin.

Lizzie - usually when people call women quirky, they're being cringe incels who want a manic pixie dream girl. but i swear i mean it in the most sincere, old-fashioned use of the word way when i say Lizzie is quirky and i fucking love it. her aesthetic is cutesy pink kawaii, but the more you watch her the more you realise there's something delightfully strange about her. she's also incredibly fucking funny. the way she delivers lines just cracks me up. the way she speaks and phrases things and approaches the situations she finds herself in in general is awesome. despite her cutesy aesthetic, she's surprisingly tough as well. her editing is also a seamless, immersive delight.

Scott - master manipulator who gets violently mischaracterised by the entire fandom. he's definitely one of the smartest members of the Life Series SMP, he's always planning everything out, he always has a backup plan, he always seems to be three steps ahead. And again, a master of maximising his income of social capital. He's an expert at utilising his connections with the people around him, and always seems to be able to use his relationships to manouvre himself into an advantageous position. i don't understand why people make soft flower husbands art because Scott just seemed like he was taking advantage of Jimmy to me. in fact I dont understand why yall make scott soft in general, he's one of the most ruthless players from what I've seen. bit weird to mischaracterise "the gay one" as the soft guy, no? also why do you draw him as thin when he is chubby. why is his intro so fucking loud.

Bdubs - i have never watched this guy's POV because his editing is bad but he's always appearing in the corner of other player's POVs being adorable. he's like a little bug. he's always yelling and it's so incredibly unthreatening. why is his face all beat up like that what happened to the little guy.

Etho - he's friends with Bdubs and he's Canadian and he lives in the woods and fights moose and he's good at redstone and also some sort of cryptid. i have heard this. i have, however, not watched this because i have ADHD and the way he edits (or rather doesnt edit) his videos is so boring that i cannot watch them for longer than five minutes. which annoyed me because i really like his chill badass vibe and would like to see more of him, but alas. get better at editing etho. i also love the fan designs people make for him very much, especially when they make him into some sort of wolf or beast. makes sense since he's hunting all those moose.

Grian - HOT TAKE HERE. I'm not the biggest fan of Grian. His POVs are not very interesting. I guess people like him so much because he has a mad killer instinct and watching him hunt people down and get kills is fun. And this is true! I also like watching this! However, before it gets to the killing spree part, he's very self-contained and doesn't take much interest in what the people around him are doing (unless he is managing / leading them), which is boring for me because i'm interested in people's interactions with each other. Grian is actually far more interesting from other people's POVs, because from there you can see how his self-contained nature, tendancy to lead and thirst for blood and chaos affect everything around him, something which he himself seems to not notice because he is too focused on only dealing with the stuff that's immediately relevant to him.

Scar - what a charming man. oh my god. holy shit. sir. sir. what the fuck. he's also so funny. and has a little bit of the nature of a wet cat surrounding him. why does he love roleplaying being some form of scam artist so much that he choses to do it literally every single season. its like he cant stop himself. he has a scam artist disease. he also likes Starwars also one time he mentioned that he can't stand on twitter and everyone yelled his name. actually he does stuff that makes people yell his name in shock/exasperation a lot and its like a greek chorus. i also love the way he speaks in his voiceovers, his voice is very smooth.

Pearl - she has wolves apparently. this is a thing that i have heard about that has happened at some point. yes.

Cleo - they speak in a mocking tone and it makes me feel like i am being bullied in secondary school so i do not like them.

Impulse - this person does, in fact, exist, and may have done things at some point.

Geminitay - people draw her with antlers and that is cool

BigB - i have never seen this guy a single time in anyone's POV but apparently he is there! he keeps to the shadows.

Ren - there is a larper in this SMP. which is not a bad thing at all! I love hardcore minecraft roleplay! i am a Dream SMP fan, incidentally. which is related to nothing. The way he roleplays so intensely and in such a distinct style is a bit of a weird clash with the almost zero roleplay from everyone else, though. You have to all be into the roleplay and outputting the same amount of commitment to the bit, or it doesn't work and i just get secondhand embarassment watching. But I appreciate it nonetheless!

Other people who i've forgotten because i dont care about them - they sure do exist and are doing cool things yep

Thank you for reading my useless list, from a "fan" who isn't really invested enough to be a proper fan. I love minecraft men kissing. peace.

[a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire]

Alright, I took a quick nap and Ive decided that I wanna get the UTM reenactment over with as quickly as possible so Im reading chapter 42 and then I'll reward myself with some pain au chocolats and not thinking about this book for the rest of the day and watching the 2002 takarazuka flower troupe production of elisabeth instead. lets go

Chapter 42

here we fucking go with the illyrian wingspan-dicksize correlation, how would Amren even know that isnt she above sex or something. Honestly, I think Cassian would know wayyyyy more about that. on account of all the gay sex hes having i mean. I thought of that joke and then I realized that you could interpret it to mean that he knows about that because hes illyrian and has a dick, but I want to make it very clear that this is a gay sex joke

how come wings are so sensitive that just barely stroking them makes you moan and shudder but you can still fly with them in harsh winds with no issue. My headcanon is that wings arent actually that sensitive, Rhysand and Cassian are just weirdos with a specific kink

This conversation Feyre and Rhys are having about his wings is so weird, its like dirty and yet uncomfortably clinical

oh Rhysand is quicker than death just fucking kill me, im getting so angry again

Syphons are called 'Trichtersteine' ['funnel stones' or 'funnel gems'] in german which is more accurate to how we're actually told they work imo but it sounds pretty lame

Is it just me or is Rhysand being kinda weirdly paranoid rn. I mean granted, they did just get attacked with ash arrows so maybe hes actually doing a good job for once and Im just biased against him

Okay so we finally get some night court fae wearing white, but of course its not for moon symbolism its so they can blend in with the rock of the mountain because this series does nothing but disappoint me

The Hewn City actually sounds really cool, why couldnt this have been the secret city where we spend most of our time, you couldve made it a whole thing about Feyre healing from her trauma UTM through like, exposure therapy or something idk. That wouldve been neat and dramatic, her healing from her UTM trauma in the place that inspired it with the person that inflicted it. I mean, maybe that would be less healthy and even more controversial than Feysand already is but then you could atleast lean into the dark romance of it

I mightve said this already but you knowwww sjm is NOT a painter and consulted ZERO painters because Ive never heard of anyone think about creating art the way feyre does

and Mor is wearing red AGAIN why would you make this a trigger for Feyre just go back and edit it out its not like it matters

God, the description of her outfit is so deeply discomfortingl like it literally is exactly what she wore while she was being drugged assaulted but atleast they left the bodypaint out this time

"[Keir] looked at my face, then my body. I had thought that he would stare and drool greedily but... there was nothing. No emotion. Just ice cold. Shaking internally, - from anger and revulsion - I followed Mor." Im sorry, is she mad that Keir doesnt find her hot????

Theres something uncomfortable about Feyre referring to Rhysand as 'Mor's Lord' especially when we just had a whole paragraph describing her as a proud and empowered queen

"Usually, one Syphon was enough for an Illyrian to to able to steer his urge to kill down the right path." what???

Now shes describing Azriel as dark and beautiful as death and oughhhhhh i knoww im the only who cares about this and its for a pretty stupid reason but I care a lot and it makes me very angry

Feyre referring to a 19 year old Mor as 'barely more than a child' is weirdddddd

of COURSE hes wearing a black tunic for this, I cant believe this is the guy that the fandom has designated the fashion lover when he has two (2) outfits

Feyre describing Rhysand as sooooo powerful and beautiful with a face of nightmares and dreams makes me want to vomit, but more importantly, it makes me yearn to rewatch the 1996 takarazuka star troupe production of Elisabeth with Asaji Saki as Death who unirionically fits all of Feyres descriptors 1000 times better

Not Rhysand using Feyres Cursebreaker title while hes thoroughly humiliating her

Now Feyre is calling him a god, bro youre not gonna be able to have sex if you jack him off this hard hes gonna be all sore

Imagine being a hewn city noble and you all get together because your high lord wants something from you and youre kinda scared because hes the worst, and then you just have to watch him finger some random lady. and you cant leave because then he'll just kill you

I dont like that this is framed as empowering to Feyre, i think its one thing to write a female character who sexualises herself in order to empower herself but the fact that Feyre is doing this at the behest of Rhys automatically renders it non-empowering to me. Like yeah, she obviously consented to this but it wasnt her idea but this was not her idea and this is not something she usually does, the only times shes been sexualized like this is because it was part of some plan that Rhysand came up with

"[Keir] apparently clung to the power. But Rhys was the power." i hate that that sentence made me think of Keir/Rhysand as a ship why am I so goddamn yaoi-brained. And yeah, i know theyre related but according to Rhys himself, he and Mor are only cousins in the most distant sense, so. Man, that would make the IC dynamics so much more fucked up but also so much funnier

Theyre trying so hard to make this hot n sexy but its just so unappealing and dragged out. Granted, sorry if this is TMI, but I did just jerk off so Im all out of horniness for the next little while so maybe I just dont like this because Im not in the mood but idk. theres something so annoying about this, i think its how over-the-top and artificial Rhysands hotness feels, not to mention the fact that he is absolutely not my type

Imagine being Keir rn, just trying to do your job and tell your high lord everything that he needs to know, meanwhile his high lord is sitting in front of him fondling his new sex slave and you just have to keep a straight face. i mean, he sucks ass so i guess he deserves it but man

Presented to you with no further comment: "My breasts became heavy and full, longing, desiring, just like my crotch."

goddamnit, Rhysand just said that he put Feyre on his leash and then Keir made a kinda slutshame-y remark about her clothes and then I thought Rhys was like "maybe I'll put you on a leash too" but it was Feyre who said that. another loss for big gay incest

"He liked this as little as I did" uhhhhh no offense girlie but you actually seem to be having a pretty great time rn

I dont even know what to say about this part where Feyre is like, detaching herself from her thoughts that are calling her a traitor a liar and a whore ?? I think thats whats happening here?? Like, its trying so hard to be sexy but its invoking the imagery of Feyre's (and even Rhysand's) trauma and its just very strange

It took Rhys a fucking eternity to actually touch her pussy

What if Keir developed a voyerism kink because of this. would that be fucked up or what

Its so weird how Feyre thinks about how maybe Rhysand doesnt like sex or being desirable anymore because of amarantha and that certainly sounds like a trauma response he should have but instead it just never matters

"I had been tortured and tormented but my pain was nothing compared to his." YOU DIED

Oh man I cant believe I completely forgot about the absolutely iconic part where Rhysand gets so mad Keir for calling the woman he introduced as a whore a whore that he telepathically breaks his hand about it

what was the point of doing that, Feyre didnt even seem to like it that much

[deimostes]

PLEASE tell me more about your Omegadow headcanons

OH MAN. GLADLY!!!!!!

building off the little thing team dark have where rouge and shadow always sit on omega's shoulders - omega likes carrying shadow around in his arms. at first it's just like, a mid-combat thing where he'll catch him if he falls, or whenever hes especially tired after a fight (as he'll do with rouge too), but sometimes on a normal day he just picks him up while knowing damn well shadow can handle himself. shadow tells him this too, but all flustered and Not admitting that he likes it. something something the big strong killing machine designed to keep you in check treating you with care like you're the most delicate thing in the world

i think it would be really funny if rouge associated chili dogs with them more than she did with sonic:

like that's her boys. she thinks they're SO cute she loves them so bad. she'll walk by a hotdog stand or something and just think to herself "huh, chili and hot dogs ..... !!! shadow and omega!!!!"

dating changes NOTHING about their competitiveness. the obvious! it just makes it come off insanely gay to anyone else listening. sparring is a date to them. these two love to rile each other up as a form of flirting. it's the only way they'll flirt in front of other people too. i'm particularly thinking of their TSR interactions like these are so

^ this last one is making me crack up. the betrayal. "LOVE IS DEAD AND NEVER EXISTED. ALL YOU DID WAS BETRAY ME AS I LAY SICK AND FESTERING. YOU ARE THE DEFINITION OF DREAD." "...you okay hun?" "MY BOYFRIEND HIT ME WITH A FUCKIGN WISP"

shadow starts using nicknames for omega without realizing it. omega has NO idea how to react at first but then he does too. he never thought he'd be calling anyone "love" in his life, but with someone who understands him as much as shadow does, he finds it comes naturally. neither of them are super openly affectionate, especially shadow, but eventually they get to the point they casually use these nicknames in front of other people. rouge is the first one to witness it. doodle about this i forgot i had in my files

i saw u liked my girl leonid (THANK U <3) so i'll talk about her too :) with a kid one would think these two would be like that one meme, shadow as the picture of the person cuddling the baby on a beach chair vs omega holding the baby upside down just by the leg and swinging em around. but i think it's the other way around when leonid is a baby. like omega is so so scared he feels like he's gonna pop her. meanwhile shadow (while not being as crazy as the meme depicts LMAO) can tell she's strong, like this is HIS and OMEGA'S kid, she'll be fine. and he's right! omega just has no idea how to react when he now has a whole CHILD but he gets used to it and she ends up just as happy to cause destruction as him :) naturally the ultimate lifeform and ultimate robot would have the ultimate cyborg - theres a day where leonid calls herself this for the first time just like, completely unprompted, and if robots could cry omega would have (it probably comes out as funny little warbling noises from his voice box instead)

[fox-guardian]

please PLEASE we need more of that somewhere else au

hi i've been sitting on this ask for a hot minute cuz i've been trying to think of how events in this world would line up with events in the og timeline. like.

i'm trying to figure out gerry's family situation. because he bonds with this universe's martin over their mommy issues, but his mom couldn't have found and gotten obsessed with a leitner, since they don't exist in this world. so how could she become a killer? well, she does it The Normal Way. no spooky shit, she just kills people for her own purposes.

and what about eric? currently i'm thinking he was left in the dark about her whole Thing because in this world, he didn't have the pre-exposure to weird shit via the institute so he's just. basically clueless the whole time they're together cuz he doesn't wanna invade her privacy too much. especially since she gets so Defensive. until gerry gets born and he gets Concerned that his wife is focusing more on the hobbies he's allowed her to keep to herself than on caring for their own child, so then he confronts her and figures out about the murders, and tries to call the police, and she tries to stop him and in the scuffle she blinds him (that's right baby he Remains Eyeless in this au)

she manages to frame him for the murders and he's locked away for ~13 years ish and she raises gerry in that time, giving him So Many Issues and eventually she just. goes back to the murders. but more subtly. only since there's More Murders In The Area Again the cops catch her and free eric and WHOO GERRY HAS HIS DAD NOW and eric loves him so much. they bond and it's wonderful. (this is obviously where we've branched off from lining up with canon this is The Good Timeline)

gerry grows up with his epic and cool dad who bonds with him via music and shitty hair dye jobs and laments that he can't see his son's cool art but gerry still describes it to him and he's like "oh that sounds so cool. i'd get that tattoo'd" and BOOM. GERRY TATTOO ARTIST DREAMS BEGIN.

he starts at a shop, gets really good, his specialty is stylized horror-related tattoos and portraits. years go by, a new guy comes in and wants to start an apprenticeship, gerry takes him under his wing. dude is pretty good and they keep working together, the guy is really good at writing script so he does a lot of text and stuff, and a lot of line-heavy designs. that guy is Martin.

one day martin informs gerry that he's noticed him being off lately, he gets concerned for his health and eventually after a lot of nagging and a one-man intervention, martin manages to get gerry to a doctor and OH NO, THERE'S A TUMOR IN HIS BRAIN but good news is they caught it in time!! now gerry has a big cool scar on his head and owes martin his life.

and then fellas. Fellas. is it gay to open a tattoo shop with the man who you taught how to tattoo and now you feel is your equal in his own right and also who saved your life because he Knew You That Well.

eric thinks so. and he kept making annoying grins about it that only got worse when gerry told him they'd made it official ("dad please" "I KNEW YOU CRAZY KIDS WOULD MAKE IT WORK" "dad" "when's the wedding" "DAD")

can you tell i've been thinking about gerry and martin a lot.

to bring it back to the "somewhere else" part, OG martin works at a coffee shop trying to get by with OG jon and gerry and eric happen to come in one day, and then another day gerry comes in with martin, Excited To Share With Him The Barista That Looks Uncannily Like Him But Older. and OG martin is, of course, shitting his pants because Oh No This Probably Isn't Good BUT THEN HE LOOKS AT MARTIN. and he's SO mad. this martin looks SO MUCH COOLER THAN HIM. he has GOLD FACIAL PIERCINGS and a SLEEVE TATTOO of ROSES. AND HE DOESN'T LOOK DEPRESSED.

he brings this up to og jon and he's just like ".... did you want to get piercings. i mean you know you'd look cool" and jon is just feeling very 😳👀 about that part but martin is just "WHAT, AND COPY HIM?? I CAN'T DO THAT"

so uh yeah that's uh. that's the most detailed i've got so far. i've got a little bit of jon and sasha and surprisingly little for the stokers. but yeah <3 this got long <3

[lildoodlenoodle]

Something we see as the noir comics progress is a return to or a bad forced reflection to the 616 universe, but the noir characters are fairly different, with different life experiences, and motivations than their 616 counterparts. By forcing the same relationships and dynamics onto these characters we get a picture that doesn’t make sense, because they are not the same characters, and, ultimately leads to, lazy and bad writing. This is most evident to me in the romantic relationships, specifically the noir spideycat relationship.

Ok so, they have Peter, who’s implied to be a teenager in the 16-19 range(likely on the younger end of that), and the writers have him sleep with Felicia Hardy, an adult, who is implied to be anywhere in the 30s-50s range(likely in early to mid 40s), his boss and sudo father figure’s (who died 8 months ago)ex long term partner/girlfriend. And this is how they draw Peter’s reaction to her coming onto him:

GIRL he looks HORRIFIED and shocked why why why. Ughhhhh. I genuinely cannot tell what type of emotion they were going for. And the only people I’ve seen talk about this specific reaction were like ‘That is the reaction of a panicking gay man’ which maybe, but also A CHILD.

Then, the reaction the morning after also kills me cause Peter’s like ‘so we’re boyfriend-girlfriend now’ because he genuinely thinks that’s how that works and Felicia laughs at him cause she knows damn well it isn’t. That really highlights to me the difference in maturity, vulnerability, and age inbetween these two and it killllssss meeeee.

AND ITS NOT EVEN IN CHARACTER FOR FELICIA! In like Ultimates(?), 20 smth her kisses masked teenage Peter but after he mentions being in high school she freaks the fuck out! And has a general reaction of disgust! Like ‘Ew OMG I cannot believe I kissed a High Schooler’ and then she leaves!(and her noir design and story was so cool, like she wasn’t the black cat she was the WHITE WIDOW and an entrepreneur and it was so cool and THEY DESTROYED IT ALL FOR A BAD ‘LOVE’ STORY(there’s also the whole MJ Felicia lover foil but different post same vein))

Cause I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again, the writers either forgot what their ages were, didn’t care about the implications, or didn’t understand what the implications were of having a teenager sleep with a middle aged woman. And maybe part of it is the teenage boy and his friend’s hot mom or hot teacher gag/trope we see a lot in media that is considered to be more socially acceptable than if the genders were reversed. And I hate the general disregard for this sort of thing. Cause grooming and sleeping with older people as a teenager does cause trauma and does change how you build and handle future romantic, and especially, sexual relationships!

Tbh this one of the bigger problems I have with basically all of the Spider-Man Noir comics, they give Peter(and MJ) all this trauma and complicate relationships in certain ways and then they never talk about it or do anything with it as if it doesn’t affect them AT ALL or didn’t EVEN HAPPEN. It’s undeniable that a lot of, not only the trauma, but why the trauma isn’t talked about is because of the need for the 616 parallels.

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON RANGER ACADEMY:

Dark Specter has begun to infect Ranger Academy, and Sage and Tula tapped into the age-old Red/Green shipping to save the day! Unfortunately Ranger Academy is full of fucking narcs and expelled Tula for being cool and wanting justice for her dead sister or whatever. In general the Headmaster might be cool with children dying? Yeah, Sage, I think we gotta take your polycule and go.

It's RANGER ACADEMY #9!

= "what are you?" "an idiot sandwich" but like, in a gay best friends way

= they are so dear to me

= "his friend" girl I think your dad is gay

= I know the whole plot with the Green campus and the question of "hey, is being Green bad?" is a big source of contention in the fandom, and I've brought up similar criticisms, but the whole thing kind of makes more sense if you look at it outside of the context of the PR universe and more in terms of it being some kind of LGBTQA+ allegory. Like it was kind of hinted at before, and I don't know if it's still 100% intentional considering this book is full of legit LGBTQA representation that isn't treated like a big deal in-universe, but panels like this feel especially blatant with that kind of message

= a lot of children swearing in this issue

= this is sooooooooo cute but also my old post about how her Ranger team is going to end up being her friends with her dad filling the Red spot is going to come true isn't it

= so some more answers! The infected friend was Zilan. We don't have a legit design for him yet (he's either covered up or just shown with no detail) but he IS confirmed to have hair, so probably not an Eltarian despite the Z-name. Thank god, I was getting Eltarian War flashbacks

= the last time someone I cared about tried to handle things alone, he broke the multiverse with an Egg and caused three women to get wiped from existence and went on to wear combat boots over his Ranger boots. wait, wrong comic

= you know I don't mind stuff like "oh my Grid" and "thank the Grid" because it's pretty cute and makes sense in-universe the same way that stuff like "StarClan help me" and "trust the Force" does but idk. It always just throws me because of how secular the school is for them to suddenly use phrasing that implies religious framing. Mathis Has Become Catholic

= If you wonder why I keep complaining about the overuse of romance in Darkest Hour, stuff like this is why. We don't know if Mathis and Tula is romantic - but what's important is that you can really feel how powerful their bond is that they could be believably romantic if the comic chooses to go that route. Darkest Hour seemed to rely on just the fact that they have a romance to do the heavy lifting for actually proving how close they are

= heyyyy the debut of Theo and Maev's Ranger forms (yeah the Ranger Academy suits are just recolors, but shush, it's still cool) and Ranger weapons! Maev's pretty much got Power Daggers like MMPR Yellow but Theo has a spear that shoots fire, so a W for Black Rangers here

= Lindy if you're coming on this adventure we are going to get you a Ranger suit by god

= HOT DAD NOOOOOOOO

[argetcross]

Hades II, second session, more thoughts!

- ARTEMIS!!!! YOU ARE MY.... ANGEL!!!!! I love how confident and cool she is with Mel, and she's here? In 3D person flesh? Love they're playing up the connections between Aetemis, Hekate, and Selene, especially since they get syncretized sometimes. It's cute that she's kind of Mel's big sister and I love that dynamic (also I, argetcross, am in love with her so that helps). She gives you SNACKS she snipes your ENEMIES she is my EVERYTHING. I could kill Chronos just for her.

(Mel: are you... normal?

Me: NO IM VERY GAY)

Her design is way cuter than I was expecting, I love that she explicitly says Apollo is the younger sibling (she had to deliver him in some tellings of the myth!!! Eldest daughter syndrome from the moment she was born 🥲), and I really am excited to hopefully see them interact. Please. I need it.

- Hephaestus' design is amazing and hot and if there's someone out there that wants to cosplay him, I would help you.

- I beat Headmistress! Through the power of spamming Zeus boons! I felt like the difficulty curve was kind of funny because I also ended up going all the way to the end of the second biome that run, which was NOT my experience with Asphodel. Like Asphodel killed me so many times in its regular floors, but I've consistently gotten past the regular floors of Oceanus. Lava I guess continues to be more dangerous than water I guess.

- can't believe the fish people turn into guts when Mel kills them. She must smell SOOOOO BAD. I love the whole second biome look, it's kind of like she's just sliding down waterpark sewer slides in my mind. Getting slapped in the face by starfish. Seaweed sticking to her clothes.

- This is getting super long so I'll try and wrap up but, at first, I wasn't sold at all on the school bully/straight A student vibe Nemesis and Melinoe had.... BUT THEN WHEN MEL GOT PISSED AT HER DURING THE COMPETITION??? That was apparently my Achilles' Heel because I was like. Wait. Yes. Please be mean to each other. Please. Please please please. I want to see super nice Melinoe get legitimately angry and frustrated with one (1) snotty jock. She's been so focused her one thing (Chronos) and doing her best to live up to expectations- let her be upset and angry. Please. Also the whole encounter is so funny. Showing up, locking Mel out, and threatening to steal our lunch money!!!!

- also I met Moros. Not sure why, but he gives the kind of vibes of the shoelace meme rn ("Why is he crying? He's been trying to tie his shoelaces for the last ten minutes.") with the way Mel, Odysseus, and Nemesis are kind of *cranes head to stare*. Does his hair ever get knotted in those antlers? Time will tell.

[deedjre]

Day 18 - swap ! the thing suggests "swap between" but. i couldn't think of a good way to swap them. so. genderswap !!! yippee !! they also swapped main colors i suppose. that part wasn't planned it just came with their gender expression. i also drew them with shorter hair bc i remembered that they had long hair as men bc it's gnc. and also it's hot. additionally sarah is shorter bc john was meant to be average height. and 5'9? greater than the average woman. i also decided to go with full renames from off the top of my head instead of genderbent names since i wanted to go with how i would've named them if they were originally women. i love them <3

(prompt list) (mini rants on designs below !)

since john was meant to be an average everyman in america i thought about that for designing sarah. went with a cardigan instead of a hoodie to make it feel a bit different. cardigans feel gentler, in a way. the longer skirt is bc john was intended to be modestly dressed with his baggy ass clothes and also just like. sarah would be raised on skirts and dresses for sure. especially long skirts. since she grew up religious. and i gave her flats bc they're easy to draw. also i'd like to clear up that i am impartial to women with shorter hair. i gave them that for the gnc element. and for the sake of being different. i hope they look hot to someone though

colin. colin's gender expression has always been very gay. very flashy and flamboyant. very confident man. i aspire to have his confidence. anyway i made lesley a bit butch. in my mind mostly. she would wear a biker jacket. a lot of it is in her personality, but i did give her skull earrings instead of hearts. maybe i should rethink her design a bit but i can't have her going all out in her casual wear bc colin doesn't go all out in his casual wear. so he retains a specific image. maybe i should've given her a jacket instead of a sweater vest though. or like. given her a cool vest. yeah. too late rn though she's stuck masking her gender expression😔 at least i let her stay hairy i should draw colin and lesley in degrees of "all-out" on their gender expression... people need to know how gay these bisexual is

it WASNT too late actually i lied i just drew this in msp. she's wearing a low cut tank top underneath the dark grey lines were put to differentiate stretch marks and one scar

[thesquishyrogue]

I've been wanting to practice drawing anthro characters, and these characters have been buzzing around in my head for a while.

So, I finally gave them form. Here are my children, my Mane 6 if you will:

🐱💜Jaz💜🐱

Full Name: Jaz Hawthorne

Name Inspiration: Jaz; taken from musician Jazmin Bean. Hawthorne; taken from the band Hawthorne Heights.

Age: 25

Height: 5'4

Species: Havana Brown Cat

Birthday: July 25, 1998

Star Sign: Leo ♌

Sexuality: Bisexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Style: Grunge/Punk

Favorite Music:

Nirvana

Bikini Kill

Green Day

Gorillaz

Garbage

System of a Down

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Weezer

The Smashing Pumpkins

Soundgarden

Notable Traits:

- The oldest of the group, so therefore is the designated Mom Friend™

- "Man I miss the 90's" *was born in 1998*

-Unapologetic anarchist

- Avid music collector (CDs, cassettes, & vinyls)

- Loves thrifting

- "What??? Whaddya mean you haven't seen *insert old niche film here*?!"

- Has owned the same pair of beat-up Converse sneakers for the past 5 years

🐷🩷Carmen🩷🐷

Full Name: Carmen Flowers

Name Inspiration: Carmen; the Lana Del Rey song of the same name. Flowers; taken from Ramona Flowers from Scott Pilgrim.

Age: 23

Height: 5'6

Species: American Yorkshire Pig

Birthday: February 4, 2000

Star Sign: Aquarius ♒

Sexuality: Lesbian

Pronouns: She/Her

Style: Pastel Goth

Favorite Music:

Elliot Lee

MARINA

Poppy

HOLYCHILD

GRLwood

Arctic Monkeys

Sir Chloe

Lady Gaga

Lorde

Halsey

Notable Traits:

- Practicing wiccan

- Glamorous party girl at heart

- Guilty obsession with cheesy teen dramas

- Will defend the artistic merit of pop music to her grave

- Loves girls; in both a feminist way and a gay way

- Adores Sanrio

- Makeup always on point

🐰❤️Bowie❤️🐰

Full Name: Bowie Kagome

Name Inspiration: Bowie; Bowie from the band Baby Bugs. Kagome; Japanese word meaning "pattern of holes/circles," taken from the Vocaloid song Kagome Kagome.

Age: 19

Height: 4'10

Species: Albino American Rabbit

Birthday: March 26, 2004

Star Sign: Aries ♈

Sexuality: Asexual

Pronouns: She/Her

Style: Yami Kawaii

Favorite Music:

Baby Bugs

Jazmin Bean

Nicole Dollanganger

Melanie Martinez

Gurldoll

Banshee

Kikuo

Babymetal

Elita

bo en

Notable Traits:

- Horror enthusiast, especially with anime/manga

- A lot of religious trauma that she's trying to heal from

- Fluffy, unassuming, and low-key sadistic ball of chaos

- Morbidly fascinated by medical anomalies and gore

- Always keeps a blade on her. Always.

- True crime connoisseur

- Total ride-or-die, will literally not think twice about committing acts of violence for her besties

🐸💚Maisy💚🐸

Full Name: Maisy Waterson

Name Inspiration: Maisy; taken from the children's show/book of the same name. Waterson; the last name of the titular character from The Amazing World of Gumball.

Age: 24

Height: 5'0

Species: Green Tree Frog

Birthday: October 13, 1999

Star Sign: Libra ♎

Sexuality: Pansexual / Genderqueer

Pronouns: She/They

Style: Kidcore

Favorite Music:

Aqua

Jack Stauber

Cavetown

Lemon Demon

The Living Tombstone

Jojo Siwa

Hellogoodbye

Snail's House

Pogo

Toy-Box

Notable Traits:

- Had a rough upbringing, uses nostalgia as a coping mechanism

- Obsessed with the era of classic Internet

- Owns a million plushies

- Loves to swim

- Her "hair" is actually slime that secretes from her head, they love to keep it styled in a side ponytail

- Cartoons are god-tier media

- Crocs are their casual footwear, and light-up sneakers are for the special occasions

🦝🩵Penelope🩵🦝

Full Name: Penelope Grant

Name Inspiration: Penelope from Homer's Odyssey. Grant; the real last name of Lana Del Rey.

Age: 24

Height: 5'9

Species: North American Raccoon

Birthday: June 27, 1999

Star Sign: Cancer ♋

Sexuality: Lesbian / Transgender

Pronouns: She/Her

Style: Lolita with a touch of cottagecore

Favorite Music:

Lana Del Rey

Purity Ring

Emilie Autumn

Amy Winehouse

Hozier

Florence + The Machine

Rex Orange County

Kerli

Nancy Sinatra

She & Him

Notable Traits:

- Loves to collect dolls; vintage porcelain dolls and retro Barbies are her favorites

- Has a major sweet tooth and loves to bake (and also has a habit of eating out of the trash)

- Hosts tea parties like a true adult, and loves collecting pretty tea sets

- Fairytales and folklore are gospel to her

- Practices archery and has excellent aim

- Makes good money working as a florist, which is how she can afford such expensive hobbies

- Is underdressed if she's not wearing drills, ruffles, or bows

🦨🖤Maria🖤🦨

Full Name: Maria Taylor

Name Inspiration: Maria; taken from Maria Brink, the frontwoman for In This Moment. Taylor; taken from Corey Taylor, the frontman for Slipknot/Stone Sour.

Age: 21

Height: 5'1

Species: Striped Skunk

Birthday: November 7, 2001

Star Sign: Scorpio ♏

Sexuality: Bisexual / Aromantic

Pronouns: She/Her

Style: Emo/Scene

Favorite Music:

Slipknot

In This Moment

Mindless Self Indulgence

Black Veil Brides

I Set My Friends On Fire

Hawthorne Heights

OT3P

Paramore

My Chemical Romance

Fall Out Boy

Notable Traits:

- Always moody

- Discovered emo culture in middle school and has been chasing that high ever since

- Fueled by Monster Energy

- Dies a little inside every time one of her favorite celebrities is outed as a scumbag

- Yes she's a skunk, and she will deck you if you make a stinky joke about her. She actually puts a lot of effort into smelling good

- The color black is everything (loves neon colors though...)

- No social media platform will ever fill the hole in her heart left by Myspace

[delta-queerdrant]

Neelix, I need another pot of coffee (Prototype, s2 e13 & Dreadnought, s2 e17)

I don't have much substantial to say about "Prototype" or "Dreadnought," two enjoyable robot-of-the-week episodes that center on Torres delivering compelling technobabble to a machine for 45 minutes. They are both extremely watchable, and "Protoype" especially worked for me with its first contact moral quandary premise, which felt straight out of pulp science fiction in the best way. And who doesn't love an android who looks like they shop at LL Bean?

So instead this is going to be a meditation on science fiction depictions of women in STEM, and why they seem to be so deeply lodged in my psyche.

The first adult novel I ever bought was Contact by Carl Sagan. This was at my middle school's Scholastic book fair. When I think about my twelve-year-old self I immediately remember that mass-market paperback, which in some hard-to-pin-down way summed up all my aspirations for my future adult life.

I'd encountered Contact as a hardcover book at a relative's house a year or two earlier. For those not in the know, it follows an astronomer who detects a first contact transmission. The book spends a lot of time imagining the political and social impacts of discovering extraterrestrial life, as well as the challenges Ellie Arroway faces as a woman in her field.

In the space of a weekend, I raced through the book but didn't have time to finish it. Soon after, the film came out, and I saw it in theaters. It was a movie that felt like it had been made specifically for me (aliens! science mysteries! an extremely hot Jodie Foster!)

My relationship with science and STEM is contradictory. As a kid growing up watching Star Trek and reading Madeleine L'Engle (shout-out to my other formative science girl, Meg Murry), I was so hungry to learn more about astronomy, programming, math, and electronics, but I never seemed to get my hands on those opportunities. This was before "STEM" was popularized as an acronym, and casual opportunities to be a kid science nerd were slim. At the same time, it was the "post-feminist" 90s, and I was never particularly conscious of being excluded from the sciences due to my gender.

As I grew older, my main STEM interests were web design (as evidenced by many lovingly hand-coded early-2000s websites) and microbiology (I am still filled with rapture whenever I contemplate protein synthesis). I also harbored a deep and all-encompassing love for the Museum of Science in Boston. But my career aspects were mostly in the humanities or social sciences, and I never got around to taking a formal programming class. As I became an adult, I stopped running Linux on my laptop or freaking people out at work with my DVORAK keyboard setup. I drifted away from a conception of myself as that kind of nerd.

It's natural for interests to shift as we age, but something about this particular transition felt devastatingly final to me. STEM is a closed world that doesn't welcome casual interest. There is almost no space for adult women to dabble in a STEM hobby. Science museums are for children, and popular nonfiction about physics and math are, implicitly, for men. (Earlier this month I watched some Youtube videos about astronomy, and immediately started seeing gun advertisements.)

I sometimes think that what I enjoyed as a kid was the aesthetic of science - in other words, the reason we consume science fiction in the first place. Why do we love a science girl? For me this attraction feels very extremely gay, though others' mileage may vary. "Scientist" is, yes, traditionally a male-coded role, but to young me, it felt like a means to escape gender roles entirely. Science girls and science queers are smart and curious and independent; they are hungry for adventure and have no time for your societal expectations.

When Voyager came out, there were virtually no shows that featured multiple women working in the sciences (outside of medical shows). But for me, a kid reading and watching science fiction, it was normal. Roxann Dawson complained that most of her episodes in early Voyager are her alone in a room talking to a robot/missile/herself, but she's very good at it! The troubleshooting scenes feel lived-in and naturalistic, especially in the way they portray her satisfaction from solving a technical problem. She's so tickled with herself when she achieves a breakthrough! I felt similarly when I mastered the art of inline CSS in the year 1999.

Science fiction that accurately portrays the experience of working with technology is rare, and to be clear, Star Trek doesn't always bother. But Voyager seems genuinely interested in dramatizing problem-solving and collaboration skills - scientist as something you do, not something you are.

I still use my computer skills at my day job, and while I don't work in the sciences, I like to think that the way I move through the world owes something to all the hours I spent as a kid imagining myself into starships and astronomical observatories.

And with that, I'm off to watch some more videos about the twin paradox.

4/5 power modules.