#i decided to write this little thing because yes!! as much as i root for their happy ending

[fanmoose12]

Won't Hange develop like a PSTD from fire

Promote: post war levihan × this

Hange is scared of fire.

Levi knows it. Understands it. He'd too be afraid of it had he been what Hange had been through. And he tries to help them with it - in what little ways he can.

He makes sure he's always the one who lights the fireplace in their cabin. Makes food for the two of them, because Hange can oftentimes be clumsy, and he doesn't want for them to accidentally burn the skin that was already burnt so terribly. He sits Hange down every evening and rubs soothing balms onto every inch of them that has been injured.

But sometimes - way too often to Levi's liking - all this help, all his well-meant attempts are still not enough.

Sometimes, Hange screams in their sleep, tosses and turns as though they try to extinguish the non-existent fire. Sometimes they wake up, cling onto him, and whisper, "It hurts, Levi, it hurts so much," with tears streaming down their face. Sometimes they drag him out on a walk or sit down to read a book, and all of a sudden, their face pales and hands begin to tremble, and they bite their lip to keep from crying out, as unwanted memories worm their way into their recently acquired peaceful life.

Hange never talks to him about it, never explains what is it that they see in their dreams or during those short moments when they seem to lose connection to reality. When asked - by curious Gabi or clueless Falco - Hange becomes snappy, and sometimes - downright mean. They refuse to ever breach that subject, not that Levi actually urges them to do that. It certainly doesn't seem healthy, or in any way beneficial to Hange's recovery; people need to talk about that kind of stuff, they shouldn't bottle all of their emotions and turn to simple avoidance. Levi knows that.

But he can't exactly judge them fot that. It'd come as nothing short of condescending and, worst of all, hypocritical. After all, he prefers his traumas to be buried too.

But since he can't talk it out with Hange, he doesn't really know what else to do, how to help them overcome it. He's not even sure that they actually can. How can one simply forget and move on from a trauma so horrific?

But it doesn't stop Levi from trying. He asks Onyankopon about this once, but his 'time heals all wounds' isn't all that helpful. If Levi's life has taught him anything, it’s that time at best mends the wounds, but doesn't close them completely.

Something more is usually required.

He searches for it, but without much success. He goes to the library, shifts through a dozen books, but doesn't find anything more useful than Onyankopon's bit of wisdom.

So, he resolves to help however he is able to. He tries to distract Hange - with books he brings from the library and a little garden that he organised with the sole purpose of cheering them up. He holds them in his arms after they suffer through another nightmare. Tries to find some soothing words, often borrowing them from the books he read, and finds that, miraculously, they work, although not in the way that the smart people who wrote them probably intended. Hange usually scoffs at his attempts, and on the nights when he gets especially lucky - they crack a smile or even chuckle at him. He always feels a bit stupid afterwards, but Hange relaxes in his embrace, and sometimes the end definitely justify the means.

Besides, he knows that, honestly, he's not faring that much better. Maybe not in the same way, but he's just as broken as Hange is. He's not the man he was before. Most days, he can't even get out of the bed on his own, and most evenings greet him with a terrible ache in his legs that sometimes becomes too excruciating to bear.

He knows that he often gets too angry and for no good reason too. And there are days when he feels helpless, useless, nothing more than a nuisance to Hange, and he doesn't want to do a thing, just lay in bed, staring at the wall and reliving all the good times that he didn't at all appreciate before, until Hange finds him and forces him to eat and take a bath. He's no stranger to nightmares too, although where Hange's make them relive the worst moments of their life, Levi is condemned to the ones of his best. The ghosts of comrades and friends invade his dreams and make that ache inside that much acuter, that much harder to bear.

He got his happy ending, he survived, but they did not. And he knows that this guilt he will carry with him forever.

But not all of it is bad. There is not a thing Levi regrettes.

What are nightmares if you wake up in the arms of the person you love most? What are petty arguments and rare screaming matches, when a simple 'sorry' and a kiss can evaporate all anger? What is pain, if you have someone, who will soothe your wounds with gentle hands and reverent kisses? What are the terrible hardships and heartbreaks of the past, if the future appears to be brighter and more hopeful than you could ever imagine?

Why does all of it matter, if you wake up to the sight of your most favorite person in the world, if your days are filled with their laughter and their hand fits right into yours?

How you can hate a life that's already given you so much more than you deserved?

[alwaysanundertone]

Day 2: food play | wolfstar

smut

TW: NSFW oral (fem receiving), fingering

You just came back from your date in Hogsmade, Remus was carrying a heavy bag full of candies, while Sirius held your hand. You didn’t quite understand why they decided to buy so many candies, but you thought it only made sense: it was Halloween season, there wasn’t such thing as too much sugar.

Once at their dormitory, you sprawled on their bed, while they locked the door. Soon, they were on the bed, one of them on either side of you.

"You look gorgeous, love" Remus was gazing into your eyes, making you blush slightly. Sirius trailed his hand slowly on your arm, then brushing his fingertips over the exposed skin below your navel, making you squirm: you couldn't help it, when you were near them, you always felt a deep rooted need.

You saw them exchanging a knowing look, before casting a silencing spell.

"Now love, are you going to be a good girl for us and undress?"

You nodded, slightly confused: they usually started off slowly, but you didn't mind them ordering you around, it was quite hot honestly.

You obeyed, unbottoning your jeans and taking off your shirt. You felt slightly exposed, they were dressed while you laid there in your panties and bra: you had to resist the urge to cover yourself.

"You look like an angel"

"Me and Remus had an idea" Sirius cut him off, getting up to pick up a pack of his favourite gummies and one of chocolates.He looked at you with a devilish grin "Now, love, you will stay very still for us, and we will make you feel so good" You nodded frantically.

Remus picked up the bag of chocolates, opening it with his teeth. He then proceeded to work on the front clasp of your bra, exposing your breasts.

"So beautiful" You blushed, waiting for their next move. The fact that you didn’t have a clue on their plans made you even more aroused, the power dynamic making you nearly feverish with need.

Remus started to position the sweet treats all around your nipples and in the valley between your breasts. Every touch made you want to squirm, but you knew that you couldn't, they said to stay put.

Sirius covered the line from your breasts to your mound in candies. "We thought of a little game. We’re going to play with you, but if you let even one of these candies fall, your orgasm will be denied, so stay put, do you understand?"

"Yes, yes I understand"

Sirius fingertips grazed your clit slightly: you knew he was testing the waters, wanting to know how much you were willing to obey. You stayed still, even though your body begged to squirm, you didn't.

He then put a little more pressure on it, while Remus started to suck on the chocolate right next to your left nipple, then dragging it on your chest, writing an "R" on it. Every touch seemed to be amplified; the soft texture of the gummies being dragged on your sensitive skin made you feel on fire.

Sirius lowered his head on the candy right above your most sensitive area and sucked on it. Then, slowly, he dragged it right on your clit, applying even more pressure.

You knew you couldn’t move, and you hated them for this, because they knew how responsive you were to their touch. You’ve always hated being restrained, but now you wish you were, that way you wouldn’t be thinking about staying still and actually enjoy their touches.

“Now love, you seem a little distracted, we should do something about it” Remus then started teasing and sucking your right nipple, his other hand now pinching the other one. He knew how sensitive you were. He stopped to chew on the chocolate, winking down at you, then resuming to kiss your skin.

Meanwhile, Sirius had lowered his head on your core, and was beginning to suck on your clit, while his index finger teased your whole slightly.

If they kept this up, you were sure you were bound to come soon, the stimulation being nearly overwhelming.

“I’m… Sirius”

“Aw, you’re about to come already, love?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, they both stopped touching you altogether, making you whine desperately. “Remi, she tastes sweeter than usual, you should really try”

Remus reached for Sirius collar, and they started to make out right above you, the sight of them together so hot, you thought you might come by just watching them.

After a while, they finally went back to focusing on you, switching positions. “Angel, you were so good  for  us, we’ll let you come now”

Remus started sucking your clit, while Sirius entered you with one of his fingers, and you soon felt the orgasm nearing, they sensed it. “Let go for us, love. You’ve been such a good  girl, listening  to us. Come for us, angel”

And you did, Sirius kissing you while they both worked you through it, stopping when you clearly got overstimulated.

As soon as you got your breath under control, you opened your eyes. "Wow, that was-"

"We know, we're the best boyfriends ever, you got so lucky, yada yada, now come here, we're going to have hot shower sex" Sirius picked you up, throwing you on his shoulder, taking off for the bathroom.

tags: @sxmnc @peterparkerspersonalplaything @riaaavm @iamawkwardandshy @eeviee4 @mysterialee @famouscrusadeluminary @el1smells @rishofkf @mooonyxoxo @happymaeday @yourfiendlyneighbourspiderman @whyshouldihaveanam3 @amazing-bobinsky

[xoxochb]

⋆·˚ ༘ * hey stephen!!

warnings: none pairing: luke castellan x daughter of apollo a/n: the ending is a little rushed but I was on a time limit here 😣

It was an undeniable fact that Luke Castellan was the heartthrob of camp. Girls (and boys too) from various cabins take their chances on the Hermes cabin counselor. Yet to your surprise they got turned down everytime, even the most beautiful from cabin ten. You wondered many times why Luke never went out with anyone but it never bothered you. You were hopeful that the spark you saw when he was around you meant he liked you but your chances were slim, you must be delusional to think such a thing

Although out of all the girls who tried tossing rocks at his windows, or grasping his attention in any way you were the one waiting even when it was cold. And you were the one he always let in. Mostly this makes you think that you might never be alone because you know Luke will never turn down an opportunity to be alone with you- or even with people around- it doesn’t matter because he’ll go out of his way (occasionally discarding camp duties) to get to spend sometimes even a minute with you

Tonight however Luke wasn’t in sight. The nightly campfires were one of your favorite actives in camp- possibly getting to take the number one spot- and today you would be singing a song you had spent the past weeks creating. Usually you would let your siblings take over the musical part of the evening but on this night you decided to bring out your guitar to play your new melody. You wrote this specific song- and you were too embarrassed to tell anyone- for Luke, so when you’re in this current predicament it worried you that he wouldn’t be here to listen to it.

What worried you the most was that Luke never missed campfires. Occasionally with you, yes, but never alone which is why you suspect he’s run off with a girl perhaps. You knew those other girls were beautiful- and your looks couldn’t compare- but would they write a song for him? Probably not.

You sigh and turn to Will Solace on your left. “Have you seen Luke?”

Will ponders for a moment before answering, “He stopped by our cabin right after you left, said he was looking for you”

“And where did he go after?”

Will shrugs. “Away”

You scoff and slap his head. “Don’t be stupid”

He attempts to swat your hand away but you stand up before he can do anything. “I’m going to look for him, I’ll be back”

ੈ✩‧₊˚

You feel as though you’ve walked for ages. But maybe because you don’t walk much makes a few steps seem like a lot. The first place you checked was cabin seven, just making sure Luke wasn’t still lingering awaiting your arrival. Next you checked cabin eleven, nothing there either. You looked at the dining pavilion, the lake, the campfire- again- to check he was indeed not there, the forest, which admitted you did not search thoroughly because it was horrifying at night

You’re stuck standing in the absolute middle of nowhere, how you got there was a mystery. You sit on the grass in defeat and as you ponder you feel tiny drops of water falling onto your head, thanks a lot Zeus!

Now you have to find your way back out of this stupid forest in the rain. You stand up before it starts pouring, and admitted you may have shed some tears. You turn left, and the back right, absolutely no clue where you came from. You’re lucky for your godly roots because you were given the ability to radiate a bright light from your very own body, thanks dad!

You can’t help but wish more for Luke at this very moment. Whenever it rained he would cover you up to assure you wouldn’t get wet, even if it meant that he would be soaked. You turn off your light for a moment, a second to recharge your drained energy. You allow yourself to take a deep breath before taking on step, bumping into a figure before you

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That was my fault” the figure says. And you know that voice, you might even go as far as to say you know it better than anyone. In the moonlight you see the face you’ve searched for

“Where the hell have you been, Luke? I’ve been looking for you all over!”

“I’ve been looking for you all over!” Luke explains

“What?” You say in disbelief “Will said you came looking for me, I was at the campfire by then, why weren’t you there?”

“Well he didn’t tell me that! All he told me was that you left and usually you never go to the fire that early so I thought you came to my cabin to look for me, but I went there you I didn’t see you so I went all the way to the fire and you weren’t here either so I asked Will and he said you just left to look for me!”

You run a hand through your hair. “Oh my gods you’re telling me we’ve both been looking all over like crazy people for each other?”

“I guess so”

you sigh. “Well, why were you looking for me?”

“I wanted to walk with you to the campfire”

“But we always just meet there?”

Luke’s cheeks turn pink. “I wanted to talk to you”

Oh no. Was he going to confess his undying love for you? Or are you just a silly hopeless romantic who feeds into every delusion?

“About what?”

Luke’s nervous demeanor worries you. Was he doing something bad? Did he do something bad? Is he suicidal? Is he in love? Is he getting kicked out of camp? Oh no, oh no! You take one of his hands in yours to calm both you and Luke at once

“It’s nothing, forget it”

You squint your eyes at him. “You’re lying”

“I am not”

“When you said you wanted to talk to me your body language was a clear sign that you knew just what you wanted to say. I know a lie when I see one”

“It’s raining, this isn’t the best setting”

“Well I like the rain, so speak”

“I saw the paper, the one with your song. Will told me you wrote it about me”

that little bitch

“I mean, yes, I did. But it was never clear who it was written about”

“I read it myself”

Your cheeks mirror Luke’s. “So what if I wrote it about you? You’re my best friend, you know this”

“Do you write love songs about all your best friends?”

“It was not a love song!”

“I believe the terms ‘angel’ ‘love’ ‘kiss’ and ‘perfect’ were all used”

You drop Luke’s hand. “So I exaggerated things a little bit”

Luke takes the paper from his pocket, the rain washing it away almost instantly but he manages to point out every part of the song referring to being in love

“Why are you obsessed with this?”

“Nobody’s ever written a song for me before-” he sighs “let alone the girl I’m in love with”

You’re unsure how to react to such a display of romantic attraction. Do you run away? Do you tell him you like him back? Do you stay silent? Do you ignore him? Is this the part where you kiss?

You do know, however that Luke looks almost ethereal in the rain, an odd observation but you’d admit it’s very true. The silence takes over the moment, almost awkward because you haven’t replied yet- but in your defense what are you supposed to reply? You’ve only seen love confessions in movies and books and they are much better and easier than the real thing you can now confirm

“What about the other girls?” You decide on asking

“There are no ‘other girls’ there’s only been you”

You have no clue what you’re doing. You don’t know if this is the right approach, but you can’t find it in yourself to care because before you know it your arms are wrapped around Luke’s neck, his finding their way around your waist- and equally both your lips connecting. And even in the cold rain you can’t help but feel warm

[mommyownsmee]

Hi mommy hehehehee. I'm feeling subby and bratty...could you maybe write something about putting your sub in her place with a strap on? Pretty please??

Hello sweetheart! 𝒙𝒙

Ofc I can. ♡

Pushing, disobeying, kneeling

You had been pushing my buttons all day, testing the limits, and I could see that gleam of mischief in your eyes—the one that told me you were being bratty on purpose. It was clear you were craving my attention, my control, and perhaps a little bit of discipline.

After letting your antics go on long enough, I decide it’s time to take charge. "Kneel," I command, my voice firm but calm. For a moment, you hesitate, your bratty demeanor faltering under my steady gaze, but then you comply, dropping to your knees with a mix of defiance and anticipation, your eyes never leaving mine.

"Good girl," I murmur, reaching down to run a hand through your hair, gripping it gently but firmly at the roots. You gasp softly, the sound barely audible, and I lean down slightly, bringing my face close to yours. "Since you’ve been so bratty today," I continue, my tone dripping with authority, "I think you need to be reminded of your place."

You glance up at me, your breath quickening, and I can see the shift in your demeanor. The thrill of anticipation makes you shiver, a delicious sight that only fuels my desire to assert my control. I take a moment to let the tension build, my gaze unwavering as I savor the sight of you on your knees before me.

"Mommy, I’m sorry," you whisper, a small hint of contrition in your voice, though I can see the defiant spark still flickering in your eyes.

"Are you really sorry?" I ask, my voice taking on a mocking edge. I tilt your chin up with my finger, forcing you to meet my eyes. "Or are you just saying that because you want to avoid a punishment?"

You swallow hard, your eyes searching mine. "I... I’m sorry, Mommy," you repeat, but there's a quiver in your voice that tells me you’re still holding onto that rebellious streak.

"I don’t believe you," I say softly, my tone almost playful. "I think you need to show me just how sorry you are."

I slowly lower my strap in front of you, letting the cool leather brush against your lips. "Now," I command, leaving no room for disobedience, "Show me how sorry you are."

"Yes, Mommy," you whisper, your voice laced with both submission and eagerness. You lean forward, your eyes locked with mine as you begin to take the strap into your mouth. Your lips part, and you move slowly at first, your tongue gliding over the surface, wetting it with your saliva.

"That's it," I praise, tightening my grip on your hair slightly, just enough to let you know who’s in control. "Do it right, and maybe I’ll forgive you."

You hum around the strap, a small sound of pleasure mixed with your obedience, and I can feel your brattiness fading away with each movement. Your eyes flutter closed, and I pull your hair a bit, reminding you to keep your eyes on me. "Look at me," I demand. "I want to see those pretty eyes when you’re making it up to me."

You look up instantly, your gaze full of adoration and submission. "Yes, Mommy," you mumble around the strap, working harder now, your mouth taking more of it, your tongue swirling with newfound determination.

"Such a good girl when you want to be," I coo, watching you intently, feeling the power dynamics shift back into balance. Your submission is a sweet surrender to my authority, and I relish every moment of it. I control the pace, pushing a little deeper, then pulling back, guiding your rhythm, keeping you just on the edge of what you can handle.

"Do you like this?" I ask, my voice low and teasing. "Do you like being put in your place like this, having Mommy control every little thing you do?"

"Yes, Mommy," you murmur around the strap, your eyes wide and sincere. "I love it."

"Good," I reply, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips. "Because this is exactly where you belong, isn’t it? On your knees, showing Mommy how much you need me."

You nod, your eyes glistening with tears of submission and pleasure. "I need you, Mommy. I need you so much."

"Then be a good girl for me," I whisper, pulling the strap from your mouth and letting it rest against your lips again. "And maybe I’ll let you feel just how much I need you too."

With a sudden move, I pull the strap out of your mouth, leaving your lips glistening and parted, a soft gasp escaping you. "Hands behind your back," I order, and you immediately comply, your fingers intertwining behind you.

"Good girl," I murmur, bringing my free hand to your cheek, caressing it softly before delivering a quick, sharp slap to the other. Your eyes widen, but you remain perfectly still, accepting the punishment with a quiet whimper.

"Remember, you’re mine," I tell you, my voice low and commanding. "Every bratty move you make, every defiant glance, it all comes back to this. To Mommy reminding you exactly who you belong to."

You moan softly in response, your mouth still tingling from the slap, your hands coming up to hold onto my thighs for balance. "I’m yours, Mommy," you murmur when I let you pull back for a breath. "Only yours."

I smile, satisfied with your response, with your compliance, but I’m not done yet. I take a step back, reaching into a drawer and pulling out a leather collar and leash. Your eyes widen at the sight, but you don't move, your breath catching in anticipation.

"Tell me," I say, dangling the collar in front of you, "Do you think you deserve this? Do you think you deserve to wear your collar after all your brattiness today?"

You hesitate for a moment, then nod. "Yes, Mommy," you whisper, your voice trembling slightly with a mix of fear and excitement. "I want to wear it. I want to be yours."

I nod, pleased with your answer. "Then lift your chin," I instruct, and you do so immediately, exposing your neck to me. I wrap the collar around your neck, fastening it securely before attaching the leash. I give it a gentle tug, making you gasp softly.

"You know what this means, don't you, my sweet little brat?" I ask, my tone soft yet firm.

"Yes, Mommy," you whisper, your voice barely audible, your body trembling with anticipation of what’s to come.

"Good girl," I purr, giving the leash another tug, pulling you back into position. "Now, let's see just how well you can behave for me."

I pull the leash, guiding you toward the bed. "Get on all fours," I command, and you obey, moving with a grace that makes my heart swell with pride. I climb onto the bed behind you, running my hand down your back, feeling you shiver under my touch.

"Tell me," I murmur, my voice low and teasing. "Do you like it when Mommy is rough with you? When I remind you exactly who’s in charge?"

"Yes, Mommy," you breathe, your voice shaky with desire. "I love it when you take control."

I smile, my hand moving lower, teasing the sensitive skin of your inner thigh. "Good. Because that’s exactly what I’m going to do," I whisper, leaning in to press a kiss to your shoulder. "I’m going to make sure you never forget who you belong to."

I slide my hands down your thighs, reaching for the rope I had left on the bedside table. "Hold still," I command, and you remain motionless, knowing better than to disobey. I start by wrapping the rope around your ankles, binding them together tightly but comfortably. "You’re going to stay right here until I decide otherwise," I say, looping the rope around your wrists, pulling them behind your back.

"Thank you, Mommy," you whisper, your voice a soft, submissive sigh.

"Shh," I hush you gently, tightening the last knot before running my hands over the binds, ensuring they're secure but not too tight. "You’re so beautiful like this, all tied up for me," I murmur, my hands moving to cup your chin, lifting your gaze to meet mine. "Tell me how much you need me."

"I need you so much, Mommy," you reply, your voice trembling with sincerity. "I want to be good for you. I want to please you."

I smile, leaning down to capture your lips in a deep, possessive kiss. "Good girl," I praise, pulling back just enough to see the longing in your eyes. "But we’re not done yet. I need you to understand just how serious I am about your behavior."

I reach for the flogger hanging nearby, letting the tails brush against your back, teasing the sensitive skin there. "You know what's coming next, don’t you?" I ask, my voice dripping with authority.

"Yes, Mommy," you whisper, your body tensing slightly in anticipation. "I know."

"Count them," I instruct, raising the flogger and bringing it down with a swift, measured strike across your backside. The sound of leather meeting skin fills the room, and you gasp, a mixture of pain and pleasure evident in your voice.

"One," you murmur, your voice shaking slightly but steady.

"Good girl," I praise, bringing the flogger down again, a bit harder this time. "What’s this one?"

"Two," you gasp, your voice a little louder, more breathless.

"Such a good girl for mommy," I keep my lips close to your ear, whispering soft reassurances that blend with my commands, my voice a gentle guide through the waves of sensation I'm creating for you. I let my fingers slide lower, teasing your inner thighs, feeling the way your body responds, every muscle tightening with anticipation.

"Do you want Mommy to touch you here?" I ask, my fingers grazing just shy of where you want me most. Your breath catches, a soft whimper escaping your lips as you nod frantically, blindfolded and vulnerable.

"Use your words," I instruct, my voice low and commanding. "I want to hear you say it."

"Yes, Mommy," you plead, your voice a desperate whisper. "Please, touch me. I need it so bad."

I smile at your eagerness, at the sweet desperation in your voice. "That’s my good girl," I murmur, finally allowing my fingers to make contact, sliding over your sensitive skin with a feather-light touch. You gasp, your body arching towards me, seeking more, but I keep my touch teasingly light, not giving you the pressure you crave just yet.

"Do you feel how badly I’m teasing you?" I whisper, my breath hot against your skin as I continue my slow exploration. "How I’m making you wait for it? Do you understand why?"

"Yes, Mommy," you whimper, your voice trembling with frustration and longing. "Because I was a brat. Because I need to learn."

"That’s right," I affirm, pressing a bit harder now, giving you just a hint of what you want. "You need to learn that when you act out, you don’t get what you want right away. You have to earn it, don’t you?"

"Yes, Mommy," you reply, your voice filled with determination to prove yourself. "I’ll be good, I promise."

I hum in approval, increasing the pressure of my touch, circling slowly, teasingly, just enough to drive you wild but not enough to push you over the edge. "That’s what I like to hear," I murmur, my lips brushing against your neck as I speak. "But you have to show me, baby. Show me how good you can be."

Your body is writhing now, caught between the pleasure I’m giving you and the need for more. I keep my movements slow and deliberate, drawing out every ounce of sensation, every gasp and whimper that escapes your lips. "Such a good girl," I praise, my voice a soft, soothing murmur against your skin. "Look at how well you’re doing, staying still for Mommy."

You nod, a small, desperate sound escaping you, a mixture of frustration and bliss. "Please, Mommy," you beg, your voice barely more than a breathless whisper. "I need more. Please."

"Patience, baby," I chide gently, though my tone is laced with warmth. "You’ll get what you need when I decide you’re ready. Not a moment sooner."

I continue my slow, torturous exploration, my fingers tracing patterns over your skin, keeping you on the edge, never quite letting you tip over. "Do you trust me?" I ask suddenly, my voice low and intense, cutting through the haze of pleasure.

"Yes, Mommy," you answer immediately, without hesitation. "Of course I trust you."

"Good girl," I murmur, my lips curving into a smile against your skin. "Because I’m going to take you to the edge, push you right to the brink, and then I’m going to pull you back. Over and over. Until you can’t take it anymore."

I feel your body tense beneath me, a soft moan escaping your lips at the promise in my words. "Does that sound good to you, baby? Do you want Mommy to push you to your limits?"

"Yes, Mommy," you breathe, your voice filled with both fear and excitement. "Please, I want it. I want you to take control."

"That’s what I like to hear," I whisper, my fingers resuming their slow, deliberate movements, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. "You’re going to be such a good girl for me, aren’t you? You’re going to take everything I give you."

"Yes, Mommy," you reply, your voice trembling with anticipation. "I’ll take it. I’ll take everything."

I smile, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips, my fingers never stopping their relentless teasing. "That’s my good girl," I murmur against your mouth. "Now, let’s see just how far I can push you."

I start to increase the intensity, my fingers moving with more purpose now, pressing harder, circling faster. You cry out, your body arching into my touch, and I know you’re close, so close to the edge.

But just as you’re about to tip over, I pull back, stopping all movement, leaving you hanging on the precipice of release. You gasp, a frustrated whimper escaping your lips, your body trembling with need.

"Not yet," I murmur, my voice firm but kind. "I told you, baby. You don’t get to come until I say so. Understand?"

"Yes, Mommy," you moan, your voice filled with desperate longing. "I understand."

"Good," I reply, resuming my slow, torturous movements, building you back up again, taking you right to the edge, only to pull back once more.

I repeat this process over and over, each time pushing you closer, each time pulling you back, until you’re a quivering mess beneath me, your body trembling with need, your breath coming in short, desperate gasps.

"Please, Mommy," you beg, your voice barely more than a whisper. "Please, let me come. I can’t take it anymore."

I smile, full of affection for you, for your willingness to submit, to give yourself over to me completely. "You’ve been so good," I murmur, my fingers stilling for a moment as I lean down to kiss you deeply, pouring all of my love and appreciation into the kiss. "I think you’ve earned it, baby. I think you deserve to come."

I resume my movements, this time with more intensity, more purpose, pushing you quickly to the edge once more. "Come for me, baby," I whisper, my voice a low, commanding growl. "Now."

[peachhcs]

good thing it was a rainy day

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

summary: part to 2 to rainy day at the lake house where some pent up sexual tension escalates between samy and will after being forced to stay away from one another due to everyone's obnoxious teasing

2k words

warnings: 18+, SMUT, this is literally like all smut, sub!will, sub!reader, switch, oral (m receiving), p in v (protected!!), riding, making out, hair pulling, slight praising, hickeys, consensual!, getting caught at the end

soooo here’s part 2!!! this is very explicit so read at your own risk! (warning u now before u hit read more lmao) publishing things like this genuinely scares me bc i know people can write so much better smut and i've never published smut before 🫣 but hope y’all like it?? idk i’m not the best at writing sex but like yeah! (p.s. pic 1 and pic 3 are from tumblr) (p.s.s. working on my requests rn too!!)

au masterlist | part 1

will's hands glided across samy's back as they deepened their kiss. the boy desperately tried ignoring what was going on down in his pants because if he focused too hard on it, he'd for sure cum before anything really happened. the brunette wasn't making it easy either. she bit and tugged on will's bottom lip like her life depended on it and the little tugs at the root of his curls had him losing it fast. samy's little comment from a few minutes ago had will trying to keep his sounds in—one, because he didn't want to get caught and two, he was trying to prove he wasn't the loud one.

although every time samy grinded her core against his own or kissed particularly hard, will struggled strangling his little whimpers and groans. she definitely wasn't making his easy for him.

the girl's hand started wandering lower again. she moved slowly and calculated like she was intentionally teasing the boy beneath her. will was desperate for her touch and her slow pace was killing him.

"s-samy, please," will's blue eyes met her own where a smirk replaced the gentle smile.

"desperate, huh?" she mused, finally reaching will's waistband again.

"mhm, god—" he couldn't stop the whimper this time. she was so close, yet so far still.

samy grinned. she reveled in those sounds her boyfriend made. he was so tough on the outside, so knowing this was how he got for her was a treat. she finally decided to have some mercy and allowed her hand to make contact with will's bulge. he immediately jerked his hips into her touch, biting his lip so hard he started tasting blood.

"this okay?" samy wondered, always double checking.

"yes, yeah. it's perfect," will breathily got out. she smiled, pushing his curls away from his somewhat sweaty forehead.

for it being so rainy and cool outside, the temperature inside of samy's room was hot.

she palmed will through his shorts for a few more moments before slowly pushing them down. his cock came free in one go, making will hiss at the sudden air against it. samy's eyes widened even though she's seen him multiple times before. each time was always as good as the first—always so red and throbbing for a release.

"so, so pretty, will," samy praised as she carefully took him in her hand. she used his pre as lube, slowly running her hand up and down his length in soft strokes.

"mm, yeah. feels so good," will muttered, head falling back onto the pillow in relief.

the brunette leaned down to leave gentle kisses to will's tip. the small feeling of her mouth on him had will's hips stuttering, trying to keep them under control.

"shit, hughes."

samy pumped him for a bit longer before deciding she was ready to attach her lips to him. his pre was enough lube and by the way he twitched in her hand, she knew he was already close. her pretty lips took him in one go resulting in the most guttural moan from her boyfriend. will's hands gripped onto the sheets, struggling to keep his hips still.

"fuck," he cursed a little too loudly. her lips were like heaven and the feeling was something will tried engraving into his mind forever.

"so good for me, will," samy hummed, meeting his gaze. the boy nearly lost it seeing her like that with his dick in her mouth. he took a mental snapshot, wanting that memory until he died—messy hair, glossed over eyes, hickeys on every inch of her skin—he was so, so fucked.

she picked up her pace, bobbing her head a little faster than before. her hands splayed across will's hips as purchase and leverage to help with the speed.

"i'm close already," will moaned, feeling that coil in his stomach about to snap.

"cum for me, will. it's okay," samy urged and her words were enough to send him over the edge and see stars.

his hips bucked up on their own as he released right into samy's mouth. "oh fuck. shit," he got out.

his chest heaved in deep pants in attempt to get his breathing back under control while samy just grinned. "d-did you swallow all of it?" the boy wondered, dragging his hand back up her thigh.

the brunette stuck her tongue out to show that there was nothing left. will groaned and that sight was enough to keep his dick hard. his other hand tugged samy back down to his mouth, kissing her particularly hard being no where near finished with her yet.

"god, you're so pretty," the boy muttered against her lips earning a small blush across samy's cheeks.

his hands tugged at her waistband as an indication that he wanted her shorts off. samy kicked them down her legs being left in her swimsuit bottoms that left little to the imagination. will's hand wandered across the exposed skin and took handfuls of her ass. he moaned at the feeling of her flesh in his hands while samy kissed him deeper.

the hockey player flipped them over so he now had the upper hand. a smirk lined his lips while he let his hand wander further down to her own waistband again. samy read the look in his eye, a smile crossing her lips as she tugged her boyfriend down for more kisses.

will took that opportunity to push her swimsuit aside and slowly slide one of his fingers into her warm walls. his action had a loud moan escaping samy's lips which brought a grin to his lips.

"fuck, will," samy's eyes closed, nails digging into his arms.

"this okay?" the boy breathed against her neck.

"mhm, more than okay," the brunette's own whimpers started escaping her lips as will's finger picked up speed before deciding to add a second one. he smirked to himself—who was the loud one now?

will found a good pace while peppering more light hickeys across his girlfriend's chest. they were for sure never going to hear the end of it from anyone after this. the sounds she made had the boy going crazy—all of it going straight to his now throbbing cock. every time samy's mouth opened will twitched, desperately searching for his second orgasm.

"need you so bad, pretty girl," he breathed into her ear earning another delicious moan in response.

"me too. need you inside me, will," samy's voice broke. she really couldn't look more gorgeous to will. her tear stained cheeks and kiss swollen lips made the boy go completely numb.

he slowly pulled his fingers out while samy dug through her nightstand for a condom. will's gaze fixated on her as she tore the wrapper open with her teeth and carefully rolled it on him. his hips jerked at her touch, a low chuckle escaping his lips between the breathy pants.

he grabbed ahold of samy's face, both of them falling back onto the bed again as he devoured her lips once more. in the next second, samy straddled will's hips.

"i'm so in love with you," will mumbled between kisses.

"so, so in love with you. so handsome," the girl replied.

she began lining will up with her entrance. as soon as the tip was in, each of them let out probably the loudest moans ever that would definitely let everyone else in the house know what they were up to. will's grasp on her hips became bruising while sang tugged harshly on his curls.

the further down samy went, the harder it was for will to keep his hips still. he used whatever self-control he had left to stay still as he bottomed out. the two were so desperate for one another they nearly came immediately.

"oh my god— fuck," a broken moan escaped will's lips as his eyes squeezed shut.

"you can move," samy urged. her walls stretched themselves out around the hockey player's thick cock—the feeling making her head spin.

"fuck, i can't. not yet. gonna fucking cum if i move," will panted, desperately trying to think of unsexy things so he wouldn't blow his load in the first five seconds.

after another few seconds, will found it in himself to start moving. he slowly bucked his hips up, hands digging into samy's flesh that would for sure leave marks. the brunette met his thrusts with a roll of her hips. the two began finding a good pace and samy's grinding turned into bouncing.

"yeah, fuck. so good for me will," the girl's head tipped back exposing all of the hickeys under her jaw and down her throat.

will felt his cock throb at the sight knowing he left all of those and they'd be impossible to hide.

"so fucking hot. shit hughes," the blonde moaned out. his hands went back to her ass—her bouncing turning his brain to mush.

it didn't take long for the bouncing to become too much for the hockey player. that feeling in his stomach returned and samy knew will was closed with how his cock twitched inside of her. she used her hands pressed against his chest as leverage to bounce faster and making sure her cleavage was on full display to try and get will to his orgasm.

"close will?" the girl wondered.

"mhm, so close—fuck—gonna make me cum," the boy got out in broken pants, eyes clued to her chest on full display for him.

samy smirked, working herself faster and ignoring the burn in her thighs form all the work she was doing. the sounds will let out was enough to push her to her own orgasm. she moaned out as she clenched around his length, riding out her high.

"cum for me will," she urged. her words and orgasm was enough to push the boy to his second orgasm.

he spilled into the condom with a string of curse words and samy's name leaving his lips while he held her down against him, riding out his own high.

"god, fuck. came so fucking hard," will panted once he regained some of his breath.

samy grinned, pushing his curls away from his sweaty forehead, both of their skins were glowing with moisture as the room filled with sex.

"did so good for me," the girl praised which had will's cheeks flushing.

"i love you so much," he mumbled and samy leaned down to press a sweet kiss to his lips.

suddenly, there was a rough knock on the door that had both of them tensing. the two exchanged a glance, waiting for someone to say something on the other side.

"just so you know, eth and i heard all of that. you guys are disgusting. you're so glad you don't have a room next to mom and dad," luke's voice came through while they could hear ethan's little snickers.

"fuck off," samy called back to her brother while will's cheeks turned a deep crimson. he'd never be able to look luke in the eyes for the rest of the summer.

"i gotta appreciate it though. will's got hella game," ethan spoke now and they could hear luke slap his friend on the arm for that comment.

"next time y'all need to get off take a drive somewhere," luke said before him and ethan walked away.

bonus:

will's eyes were glued to samy as she dragged him through the kitchen. they had smiles on their faces and the same look in their eyes while the girl searched for her car keys in the mess of everyone else's.

the boy's lips were already nipped at her neck as they stumbled their way to the garage. her hickeys from a few weeks ago hadn't even faded yet, but will was determined to add more.

as the two made it through the kitchen, they caught luke's gaze where he sat at the table eating some throw together peanut butter and jelly sandwich, his eyes widened when he saw samy's car keys, the look in their eyes, and will's slight bulge down in his shorts already.

"you fucking whores!" the middle hughes yelled, dropping his sandwich in disgust.

suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore nor will he be anytime soon.

[sabokunsmalia]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐄, 𝐖𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄, m. list

featuring: sabo x fem!reader plot: over twelve years ago, sabo promised to marry her if they meet again in the future, but then he seemingly never reached the first island beyond dawn island. his death changed the plans, forced her back into the noble bubble until she decided to pursue a life in freedom. fleeing from her noble family in high town & following her childhood friend luffy through thick and thin. but multiple things happen, and suddenly, she finds herself in the presence of a long-lost face. content warning: nsfw! (mdni!) + fluff + pet names + depression + soulmates & second chance kind of trope, all warnings will be added before each part. hi it's malia: definitely need to write that one, just found it on the old blog. i'm prepared for that one because sabo my love..

𝐒𝐍𝐈𝐏𝐏𝐄𝐓: seated on a constellation of rocks, one larger than the other, she watched how the three boys ran along the path between the trees. a hand in the air, waving at her familiar face with wide smiles on their faces, and the loud laughter booming through the large summer trees. oh, how she wanted to joke around with them, follow them into the small villages around high town, and explore dawn island. but she could not attend the open streets. anyone who would catch a glimpse of her all too familiar face would inform the well-known family to snatch the bounty. berry for their missing daughter, as the three times before when she ran away from the nobility and joined the crew of three young rowdies.

"majesty," the young boy with the shaggy, raven-colored hair chuckled, attempting to mirror the curtsy they did in high town. obviously, his clumsiness kept the upper hand and he almost fell face-first.

"oh ace," she giggled, holding the back of her hand to her glossy lips. "you would make a very bad noble."

"how soothing that i do not want to be one," he answered, ruffling the already messed-up strands of his long hair further. behind him, the two other boys appeared that belonged to the trio. one with short blonde hair, dressed in an almost as noble attire as she was forced to wear, who had his arm wrapped around their brother's shoulders and pulled the tired and whiny boy along. "sabo! what happened to luffy?" she carefully jumped off the rock and hurried towards the crying boy. bruises covered his face and arms, the blue and purple marks hardly assessable.

"he tripped over a root while running away," sabo shrugged the shoulders, placing the youngest of three boys against a tree and crouching down himself. the pipe, he used to defend himself attached to his back, the large head pulled off his blonde hair. "sabo, did you push him?" she examined the bruises along luffy's legs, slowly tilting the head in the direction of the noble-born boy.

"what? me?" he pointed a gloved finger at himself, eyebrows raised at the little girl who occasionally joined their meetings. she was running away from the same town that sabo hated so dearly, despised more than anything else in the world. while others starved, the noble part of dawn island celebrated each day like their last and wasted too much food, too much water. "no! i would never do that!" sabo almost shouted, attempting to protect himself from the assumptions of his friend.

"if you lie to me, i will not marry you!" she argued, quickly coming up with a way to assure he was telling the truth. behind them, ace sat on the rock constellation, snickering about how the two fought.

"you already said yes! you can not take that back now!"

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: ↷ part one, return of hiken.

[thesummerstorms]

I can acknowledge that the text SAYS that Annabeth Chase worked out her problems with her dad, that her stepmom seemed "nice", and that her "resentment" is described as seemingly unimportant in Blood of Olympus. I can acknowledge the text SAYS that Annabeth's family problems are resolved.

However. That does not mean that I actually buy it. If RR wanted me to accept that outcome, he should have done the actual work of proving it.

Yes we have the scene with the plane and Mrs. Chase telling Percy that Annabeth has a home.

But those two scenes in TTC don't actually work as a source of a resolution to that plot thread because they don't address the root of the problem- Annabeth being hurt by Frederick's neglect and her step-mother 's blame/callousness.

Even if they ARE trying to do better now (which to honest, feels like a cop out to me, almost as if RR just decided he no longer wanted to write that thread and cut it off quickly) the problem lies in what already happened in the past and how badly Annabeth was hurt by it.

She could have died so, so easily, and even if you want to argue perfect intent for the Chase adults (which I don't) she was emotionally fucked up by what happened for years. This has already happened.

But there's not even a hint of an apology or actual reflection on what caused those events and how things need to be moving forward. It's just assumed that TTC automatically fixes everything.

And yes, I actively have a post going around about how an author has to pick and choose their narratives and what they want to focus on for what characters.

But I would argue that RR already chose to make that plot line an important part of the plot- given how it drives Annabeth's motivations and actionals on an emotional level for pretty much all of TTC- it's just that he handled it badly.

If it was going to be addressed, especially if it was going to be "fixed", then we needed more to convince us that Annabeth had reason to trust her parents again. And again, for me one plane scene that doesn't go into what Annabeth has already experienced doesn't work for me personally.

Especially when you look at things like how Annabeth was still living in boarding schools full time, her description of the night she ran away in HOH, her persistent fear of abandonment.

And before anyone brings it up, I do actually have some sympathy for Frederick Chase. I personally am deeply adverse to the idea of having children of my own, so putting myself in his shoes of having been given a whole infant I never wanted and didn't know was a possibility, freaks me out a little too!

BUT. That doesn't change the fact that he had a responsibility as an adult-

to either choose to raise Annabeth fully as his child and accept the responsibility that entailed

OR

to find someone who could take care of her the way she deserved if he was not emotionally or mentally able to fulfill those needs.

I'm not saying any of it would be easy, but he did in fact have a basic obligation to make sure Annabeth was receiving care from SOMEONE. That's basic decency as an adult with some form of power over a child even if he DIDN'T want to be her father.

But his refusal to actually commit to either path just did MORE damage in the long run.

And he's free to try and make amends, I guess. People can change.

But I just don't feel there's enough to show that he really has long term, much less to give ANNABETH reason to believe he has.

[icycoldninja]

Can you write the DMC men with a reader who really likes gift like necklaces, dresses, jackets, trinkets, etc physical stuff like those but is uncomfortable when they gift her gifts ?

It’s quite complicated but imagine a scenario when the boys notice the reader has been eyeing a particular item, for example a really charming necklace she regular sees through multiple times window shopping at the local antique store or a lolita dress she’s been fawning over in a cute store. So they thought why wouldn’t they buy it for her since she seemed to like it so much, like yeah it would put quite a dent on their wallet but if it means putting a smile on their sweet girl's face, it would be worth it. However, it really is a shock, when they gift the reader her desired gift, but instead of seeing joy bursting out of her face and eyes lighting up in delight, she seems…very confused and anxious for some reason. Either way, she gingerly thank them but mainly wonders and ask them why’d they do this for her and they explained why

One thing to say tho, her behaviors are off because after that…she treats them much much nicer, like borderline babying them so when they ask her whether gift giving made her uncomfortable, she reluctantly said yes after they slowly coerced her to confess her feelings

It made her uncomfortable because of multiple reasons rooted in her childhood:

- Being the center of attention equals being in big trouble when she was younger

- Asking her parents to but things for her either meets with them complaining abt how inconsiderate she is for not caring abt her parent’s financial status or downright punishing her for even asking for it

- When she received what she asked for, it was possibly in response to being punished or as a way for her parents to apologize to her ( not verbally, like how Asian parents will admit they do no wrong after beating the shit out of you then gift you a bowl of fruits for amendment)

So therefore, she internalized that gifts come with conditions, and she thought that the boys wanted something from her so that’s why she panicked at the first place

Ah yes, as the child of an Asian who frequently recieved apologies with desserts and snacks, I can confirm this is accurate. I got the plastic ruler, what'd y'all parents beat you with?

Sparda boys + V x Reader with gift related trauma headcannons

¤ Dante ¤

-Dante saw you fawning over this pretty necklace in the window of a store and decided he would surprise you with it.

-He bought the necklace, not caring about the price, and headed over to your house to surprise you with it, already imagining the giant smile he was sure you would have break out across your face.

-He did not expect to see you look so confused and anxious, though, like he'd given you a tarantula instead of jewelry.

-He immediately started asking questions, worried he'd done something to upset you without realizing. When you told him it was because of how you were given gifts as apologies, which made you wonder if they were trying to make it up to you for something you weren't aware of.

-Dante quickly assured you that this simply wasn't the case. He was giving you a gift because he loved you and wanted to make you happy, not as an apology, and assured you that he apologizes through words, not gifts, so you shouldn't expect that from him.

■ Vergil ��

-Vergil saw you admiring some jewelry, and like any loving boyfriend, decided to buy it for you.

-He was so sure you would be ecstatic; he even let himself smile a little as he walked out of the store.

-When he arrived at your house to present you with his little gift, he was shocked to find you were the complete opposite of ecstatic, you looked absolutely terrified.

-What happened, he wondered. Did he do something to make you upset?! Did you not like the gift? Was it the wrong one? Vergil's mind was reeling with all these different theories, getting more and more complicated by the second.

-Not wanting to hurt his feelings, you explained it wasn't because of anything he'd done, but rather your own dark experiences. Your whole life, people had given you gifts to apologize for something, making them lose their meaning in your eyes.

-Vergil understood, and told you not to worry anymore. Anything he gives you, he gives you because he thinks you'll be happy to have. No other reason.

□ Nero □

-Nero wants nothing more than to make you happy, so if he has to empty his wallet to do so, so be it.

-He walked out of that jewelry shop feeling lighter both literally and figuratively.

-He did NOT expect to see your eyes fill with fear as soon as he presented you the little trinket he'd bought, but he tried not to take it personally.

-You accepted his gift gratefully and left everything at that, but Nero's curiosity was now piqued. He began to question you, lightly, of course. He didn't want to make you cry or anything.

-Somewhat reluctantly, you explained how gift giving seems to have conditions when it comes to your past, so you thought Nero was trying to bribe you or something.

-In response, Nero hugged you until your back cracked, mumbling something about how he'd never take advantage of you as he did so.

● V ●

-V wants nothing more than to see your gorgeous smile. He'd pillage and plunder whatever towns he could, if that made you happy.

-So when he caught sight of you eyeing a necklace through the window of a jewelry store like it was the prettiest thing in the world,(besides him, of course) V decided he would buy it for you.

-How he acquired the funds to do so is not important, though Griffon's little jokes and witty remarks hint at robbery.

-Once again, that is not important. What matters is V was grinning ear to ear when he gave it to you, only to have you look shocked in a way that does not convey joy, however, you quickly recovered yourself and smiled before thanking him and taking the jewelry.

-A little while later, V questions you about this odd behavior, and it is with great reluctance that you tell him why you are wary of gifts. Throughout your life, people have given you gifts as apologies or because they wanted something; naturally, these thoughts carry on to your adult life.

-V swiftly assures you that you have nothing to worry about. He doesn't want anything from you except to see your pretty smile and indulge in your happiness, nothing more.

[ohthewh0rror]

LETS TAKE 5.

˚₊ ⋆ ☠︎︎ ⋆ ₊˚ prompt — Can you fix the fractures in your relationship or is it doomed to shatter?

Pairing: Tom Riddle x Reader

Word Count: 1.5K

You knew when agreeing to be with Tom that, in some way, you’d always come in second place. During your school years, it was to his academics. Now that the two of you have graduated, it seems he’s found a new venture to spend his time on. It didn’t bother you as much while you two were in school, but now that you’re adults, it’s becoming harder to overlook.

"What do you want? For me to throw away and forget all that I've been working towards?" Tom asked, his voice raising to almost a yell. What he said just left you even more confused. Throw away what he’s been working towards? Does he mean the pay raise at Borgin and Burkes? Because truthfully you were happy about the thought of a pay raise. The two of you weren’t exactly well off, and it was a struggle to keep up with the bills you two had, so it’d be a much welcomed raise. You sighed, exasperated, you truly couldn’t believe this had turned into an argument, “no! All I'm asking for is some of your time."

Time: something he didn’t seem to have for you lately.

You just wanted him to take a step back and spend more time with you when not working. It seems like you aren’t even second place anymore, whatever he’s researching took second place. You’ve tried asking him what he’s looking into, but he’s tight-lipped. Any question and peek over his shoulder at his writings have been brushed off. The only time he gave you some semblance of an answer was just to tell you that it’s for something he’s been working on since his years at Hogwarts.

Tom speaking jolted you from your thoughts, “and what makes you so worthy of my time?”. Your heart plummeted as you forced yourself to stay rooted in your spot, eyes locked on his. It wasn’t the worst thing he has said to you, but the sneer on his face combined with his choice words made you feel small. Insignificant. Like you were just some stranger standing before him, and not his significant other of 3 years.

Your mind raced for an answer, but you kept drawing short. The reality of meaning so little to him left you feeling numb. The only thing you wanted now was to leave and collect yourself, to try and talk yourself out of making the rash decision of ending things permanently.

"That is a new low, even for you Tom,” you took a deep breath, “but it is nice to finally know where I stand with you.” You could feel your face get hot as tears blurred your vision, threatening to spill over. “Yes, it was time you learned your place,” Tom said, his gaze cold and unrelenting. You gave a quick nod, not trusting yourself to speak anymore. Grabbing your coat and purse you decided it was time to leave, you could only hope your closest friend didn’t mind you coming over unannounced.

Tom made no move to stop you, and though you knew it wouldn’t happen, a small part of you wish Tom’s collected demeanor would crack. That he would beg you not to leave, telling you he was just upset and acting like an ass. But that wasn’t Tom, the world would crumble to ash before he acted in such a way.

Instead, he let you leave.

You had been at your friends house for a week before you heard anything from Tom. The morning you finally got an owl from him had been a beautiful morning. You could hear the chirping of morning birds as rays of sunlight filtered in through the crack of the curtains. Taking your time to get out of bed and get ready for the day as you had no plans. And, most importantly, no one to answer to. It was a foreign, but freeing feeling that you were getting more accustomed to by the day.

You had just put the final touches on your hair, getting ready to go out and do some shopping when there was a sharp tapping on the bedroom window. You peaked back into the room and saw an owl perched on the window sill, patiently waiting for the letter to be taken. Walking to the window, you opened it, gingerly taking the note and sending the owl off with a treat as payment.

Opening the note it read:

12:45 — Meet me at Honeyshine’s.

— T.R.

‘Straight to the point, I guess,’ you thought to yourself. But then again, why would you ever think otherwise. Looking at the clock you saw you had an hour until you had to meet him. At least that left you just enough time to browse the other stores in the area and maybe find something nice for yourself.

Unsurprisingly, Tom was already there, waiting for you outside the door when you walked up. Nothing about Tom ever seemed to change, and you didn’t think it ever would. Tom opened the door for you, placing a hand on the small of your back, guiding you in. Neither of you spoke a word until the both of you had been seated, tucked away in a corner away from everyone.

“How have you been?” Tom asked. The question irked you if you were being honest. The way he could act so casual, like your relationship wasn’t consumed by hairline fractures that threatened the very foundation of your bond. But, you’d play along if that’s what kept the peace, even just for a moment longer.

“I've been alright,” you said. Tom gave you a silent nod, his face giving away nothing about how he truly felt. It made you nervous, was this the day that you and Tom went your separate ways? You’d hope the day would never come, but if he wanted to leave you, you weren’t going to stop him. The relationship has begun to feel so one sided, you wondered if Tom truly wanted you around or if he just liked the idea.

The idea of someone waiting for him at the end of the day. Someone to go home to, unwind with. So it’s not just an empty apartment waiting for him, the stillness of the empty rooms reminding him that he is alone in this world. Though, perhaps you were just reading too much into Tom. He never was the sentimental type, you doubt he thought of things that way.

Reaching across the table, Tom’s hand grabbed yours, his thumb running across your fingers. He opened his mouth, before closing it again, seemingly rethinking what he was going to say. After a beat he brought your hands to his lips, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles, “I…apologize…for what I said to you. A part of my research led to a dead end and I was frustrated, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

So that’s what he was talking about that day. That Merlin-forsaken research; that was an argument for another day though. The fate of your relationship was teetering on the edge of ending, and you’d rather be in a stable place in your relationship before bringing it up again.

You stared at Tom for a while, letting him hold your hand from across the table. Neither of you said anything as you thought over his words.

The idea of walking away was tempting you; whispering sweet words in your ear about how free you’ve felt the past week. How you got to dress how you wanted, to lay in bed for however long you wanted, and talk to who you wanted. It almost seemed your best options was to count your losses and walk away while given the opportunity. But, something kept you from getting out of the chair and calling him out on his terrible apology.

The poisonous words of insecurity and dependency hissing in the opposite ear being the reason you were still seated. It was urging you to accept the apology. Telling you how Tom was your first everything, and you shouldn’t rush to leave him because of a silly argument. What if you never find anyone else? What if Tom is the only one willing to put up with you? Do you really want to leave him behind, especially when neither of you have anyone else?

You looked away, weighing your options, though you already knew what you were going to do. Tom’s hand that was holding yours, let your hand go as it came up to cup your cheek. Immediately your head tilted, leaning further into his touch. It almost scared you how quickly this man could have you back under his thumb with just a little bit of his attention. A small smile graced his face, as he knew you’d forgiven him, and it served to only further pull you in.

Affection was hard to come by with Tom, and he had you eating out the palm of his hand with just the simplest touch, “let’s get home, I will show you just how much I missed you this past week.”

You knew you’d always be last on his list of priorities, but if it meant getting the smallest of affection from Tom then you’d learn to live with your place in his life.

[boyfriendgideon]

as yr favorite local jason todd fan sometimes i get so fed up with the apparent inability of most dc comic writers to write a class conscious narrative about him.

and yes, i know that comics are a very ephemeral and constantly evolving and self-conflicting medium.

and yes, i know they’re a profit-driven art medium created in a capitalistic society, so there are very few times where comics are going to be created solely out of the desire to authentically and carefully and deliberately represent a character and take them from one emotional narrative place to another, because dc cares about profit and sometimes playing it safe is what sells.

and yes, i know comics and other forms of art reflect and recreate the society within which they were conceived as ideas, and so the dominant societal ideas about gender and race and class and so on are going to be recreated within comics (and/or will be responded to, if the writer is particularly societally conscious).

but jesus christ. you (the writer/writers) have a working class character who has been homeless, who has lost multiple parents, who has been in close proximity to someone struggling with addiction, who has had to steal to survive, who may have (depending on your reading of several different moments across different comics created by different people) been a victim of csa, who has clearly (subtextually) struggled with his mental health, who was a victim of a violent murder, and who has an entirely distinct and unique perspective on justice that has evolved based on his lived experiences.

and instead of delving into any of that, or examining the myriad of ways that classism in the writers’ room and the editors’ room and the readers’ heads affected jason’s character to make sure you’re writing him responsibly, or giving him a plotline where his views on what justice looks like are challenged by another working class character, or allowing him to demonstrate actual autonomy and agency in deciding what relationships he wants to have with people who he loves but sees as having failed him in different ways, or thinking carefully about what his having chosen an alias that once belonged to his murderer says about his decision-making and motivations, you keep him stuck in a loop of going by the red hood, addressing crime by occupying a position of relative power that perpetuates crime & harm rather than ever getting at the root causes, and seesawing between a) agreeing with his adoptive family entirely about fighting nonlethally in ways that are often inconsistent with his apparent motivations or b) disagreeing and experiencing unnecessarily brutal and violent reactions from his adoptive father as if that kind of violence isn’t the kind of thing he experienced as a child and something bruce himself is trying to prevent jason from perpetuating. because a comic with red hood, quips, high stakes, and familial drama sells.

it doesn’t matter if it keeps jason trapped, torn between an unanswered moral and philosophical question, a collection of identities that no longer fit him, and a family that accepts him circumstantially. it doesn’t matter if jason’s characterization is so utterly inconsistent that the only way to mesh it together is to piece different aspects of different titles and plotlines together like a jigsaw. it doesn’t matter if you do a disservice to his character, because in the end you don’t want to transform him or even understand him deeply enough to identify what makes him compelling and focus on that.

and i love jason!!!!! i love him. and i think about the stories we could have, if quality and art and doing justice to the character were prioritized as much as selling a title and having a dark and brooding batfam member besides bruce just to be the black sheep character are prioritized. and i just get a little sad.

[moongothic]

Seen quite a few people comment how they believe it's more likely the Dragodile Divorce happened due to ideological differences rather than because Dragon was too straight to stay with Crocodile, and. Like I did suggest that (or at least tried to) in my Crocodad Giga Thesis (really I should've been more clear about it in my essay so I wouldn't be writing this now lol), but like yes, Dragon and Crocodile absolutely have drastically different beliefs on How One Overthrows The World Government. And that absolutely could have contributed to the two separating and/or Crocodile deciding to go his own way instead of becoming a proper Revolutionary

Because like, as I tried to imply in the essay (but failed to deliver); if Crocodile's goal had always been to get Pluton so he could just nuke Marijoa off the face of the earth by himself and end it all in one go, then Crocodile and his way of thinking could work as this, like... contrasting opposite to how Dragon believes things should be done. Some fans (unfairly imo) call Dragon a "fraud" because over the past 20+ years he has only attacked Marijoa and the WG directly just once, and even when he did, instead of doing something to stop their corrupt reign for good... the Revs destroyed... the Tenryuubito's... food storage..? Like. Sure, that'll bother them for a little while, get their panties in a good twist etc, but in the end they're just going to demand more tributes and more free food. The Revolutionary Army may be successfully inspiring more people and more countries to rebel against the World Government's corrupt rule, but the Tenryuubito are still in power and will continue to be in power for a long time. And that's kind of how Crocodile would greatly complement Dragon within the narrative. Dragon being arguably "too soft" with his slow, methodical way of overthrowing the WG, while Crocodile would just kill them all without mercy, even if it meant hurting innocent people in the process. The two would act as the opposite sides of the same coin, the different extremes of the same spectrum. Crocodile would become like a response to the complaints people have against Dragon.

And yeah, the two having such wildly different ideological views could VERY EASILY contribute to a divorce, for sure.

My thing is that... If (and this is an if) Crocodile is meant to go a character arc and grow as a person, if we're meant to see him as a sympathetic character at all and maybe even feel bad for him... It'll be much harder to write that if the Dragodile Divorce happened only because of the two having ideological differences. Like who's going to feel bad for Crocodile if the two got divorced because Crocodile wanted to mass murder people and Dragon wasn't okay with it? That's not a tragedy, that's not a situation where we as the readers would feel for Crocodile and want to root for him. That's not something that would give a character unprocessed emotional trauma to heal from and overcome. He'd just be a villian who'd need to have his beliefs changed.

Where as, if The Divorce was caused by Dragon and Crocodile no longer being compatible due to Dragon being straight while Crocodile transed his gender... Even in the most respectful of scenarios that is a heartbreaking situation, a painful thing to go through. That is a tragedy without bad guys, a story where you could feel bad for Crocodile and want to root for him. That is a situation that would give him trauma to heal from.

And that's kind of why I so strongly believe in Crocodile's transition being a more important, contributing factor in The Divorce. Again, this does absolutely depend on what Crocodile's actual role in the story is going to be and whether or not he's even meant to go through a character arc at all. Like if he's not going to be that important and if he isn't meant to go through an arc then sure, Crocodile's transition doesn't have to matter one fucking bit. But if he is meant to go through an arc, if we are meant to feel bad for him and find outselves rooting for him eventually... From a writing perspective, that'll be far easier to do if we can find ourselves sympathizing with him even just a little bit.

Also like. Yes, you can have queer characters who are just queer for the sake of being queer, their queerness does not have to be an important aspect in them or a huge plotpoint in their story at all. Crocodile could be queer just for the sake of being queer. Because that's what it's like being queer, you just are what you are. At the same time, from a writing perspective. What would even be the point of making him queer if it didn't matter to his character at all and have an impact on his character?

Also while Crocodile and Dragon clearly have very different beliefs on how the WG should be dealt with right now, we don't really know when Crocodile came to his beliefs. Like for all we know Crocodile could've formed his worldview years after the divorce. Hell, based on the way he spoke to Vivi about her ideals, and how we know he spent over a decade in utter emotional solitude, his current worldview could have been partially born from resentment towards Dragon (and his ideals) that's been simmering away over the years.

All of this to say; yes I think the two's beliefs could have been a contributing factor in The Divorce, but from a writing perspective (and based on the direction I personally want to see the story go), I find it far more likely if Crocodile's transition was the main cause, one way or another.

[antialiasis]

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: all of my thoughts (part 3)

Once again, here is me watching The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966) and blathering about absolutely everything as I go, this time for the final forty-five minutes or so of the movie. Last time, Blondie and Tuco had just teamed up again and I was rooting for them to both live and split the treasure; here's how that all shakes out.

(Part 1) (Part 2)

The bridge

Blondie and Tuco are on horseback again; I'm guessing they took some of the horses Angel Eyes' men had when they rode into town. It's not totally clear why they get off the horses when they do, though; one would think it ought to be because the Union encampment is right there, but they specifically act like they have no idea that's there because of the they-can't-see-what's-offscreen rule.

Blondie still keeps very casually asking Tuco about the cemetery as if to catch him slipping.

When Blondie wants to wait for nightfall, Tuco goes "Trust in me, Blondie!" and Blondie gives him a subtle side-eye that's very funny. (Tuco's acting like he knows exactly where they're headed, of course, despite the encampment that he's about to walk them into that he mysteriously can't see.)

Blondie gives Tuco another look as they get ambushed and their guns taken away. Told you we should've waited for nightfall, goddamn it.

And here's where we get the war proper coming into focus! We had the prison camp, but that's a prison, soldiers but not active warfare. Here we're finally seeing active soldiers prepared for battle, and it is about to be hammered in how brutally depressing this is in so many different ways. This sequence really caught me off guard first time watching; even though the war's been omnipresent in the background, I was not anticipating how starkly this was about to turn into an anti-war movie.

When asked where they're from, Blondie says, "Illinois," which is probably just a spin the mental wheel, name the first Northern state that comes to mind, although of course Blondie's background is a blank slate so who knows. Tuco goes with, "I… I'm with him," which I find very funny -- he's Mexican, couldn't really hide that if he tried (even if he could, I wouldn't be surprised if Tuco couldn't confidently name a random Northern state), but he just happens to be attached at the hip to this guy from Illinois and want to enlist in the Union army with him, sure.

Tuco blurting out that they want to enlist and saluting is very in line with his general tendency to just decide he's totally on the side of whoever it would currently be useful to be friendly with and see what happens. Blondie gives him another look, understandably -- we had this whole bit earlier where he was concerned about getting caught up in the war, and now, after escaping a PoW camp by a sheer stroke of fortune, Tuco's getting them literally enlisted in the army just because it's the first reason to be there that pops into his head. (Of course, Tuco's probably planning to just desert anyway; he is he of making big commitments and then breaking them.)

The captain grins as he tells a soldier to go write his will because he might die today, and the guy just goes, "Yes, sir," which implies this is basically a normal thing for him to say at this point. God. What a sad picture of the state of affairs (and of how the captain is not exactly doing a great job of keeping spirits up).

Tuco completely sincerely buys the idea that he'll make colonel in the Union army just by drinking enough. I love him. (Meanwhile, Blondie is apparently not much of a drinker at all; he takes a small sip and that's it.)

I enjoy the way the captain says "Volunteers." The idea that anyone would volunteer for this is just depressing to him. But then he just grins and gestures for them to follow. Sure, let's show them what they've volunteered for!

There's a little bit here that was cut in the International Cut: the captain spells out a bit more that whoever has more liquor to get the soldiers drunk is the winner, that the only thing they have in common with the guys on the other side is that they all reek of alcohol, and then he asks Blondie and Tuco's names and they go, "Uhhh," until he laughs and says names don't matter. We can definitely get the idea about the alcohol just fine without this bit, and it feels a little funny/surprising that Blondie and Tuco are at a loss when asked for their names, given Tuco already has "Bill Carson" as a handy fake name and Blondie already earlier in this same scene came up with a state off the top of his head on the fly without trouble. (To be fair, giving a fake name sure ended badly back at Batterville, so maybe they have some sense that giving the wrong name could cause problems.) What this bit does add, though, is the specific suggestion that the soldiers on the other side reek of alcohol too, and that the captain has noticed that; he knows the men they're going off to slaughter every day are just as scared and traumatized and also get their fighting spirit from liquor (he has this great despairing expression on his face at All of us reek of alcohol), and that does add another layer to the sense of how awful this all is. While he says that's the only thing they have in common, really it suggests they're all a lot more alike.

Either way, I enjoy the captain a lot generally. He's in pretty much the most war-is-hell possible situation -- going out with the men under his command twice a day to die completely pointlessly over a bridge that's been arbitrarily designated as important but is plainly just going to remain contested until they're all dead. He deals with this, extremely healthily, by just keeping himself and the troops drunk enough to stop caring, all the while fantasizing wildly about just blowing up the bridge so they can stop all this and his men can stop dying -- he's got a full-on plan for how and everything. But he knows it'd be treason if he did, and at least in his already-hopeless state he doesn't have the courage to go ahead and do it anyway even though he wants to, so drowning it all in booze it is, while uncomfortably aware that the men they're killing on the other side are in exactly the same situation. I love this poor, scared, despairing man and his terrible, terrible coping mechanisms.

(Obviously, this situation is constructed specifically as the cruelest, most senseless possible distillation of war. The film makes reference to some genuine historical events -- Sibley and Canby were real people -- but for this sequence it is not interested in historical accuracy or any specifics of the Civil War at all, just the pure, abstract concept of sending a mass of human beings to maim and murder one another in the interest of advancing arbitrary strategic goals set by distant, faceless higher-ups.)

Blondie immediately asks why he doesn't just blow up that bridge, once the captain's explained the situation and that he'd like to blow it up; he sees the cruel pointlessness of it all, without the fear of going against orders and committing treason that's holding back the captain. Tuco seems initially confused at Blondie's suggestion but follows with, "Yeah, Captain, it's nothing. Let's scare the hell out of them!" -- he clearly isn't really seeing it in terms of breaking this awful, fatal stalemate these men are in, but goes along with Blondie's suggestion more on the basis that sure, it might be a neat way to scare the Confederates.

Enjoy the explosions that go off as they're talking and Blondie and Tuco flinching and ducking towards a wall while the captain just sort of briefly blinks and looks over there; he's so used to this that it doesn't even faze him anymore. The daily slaughter, right on time. Again, something that just really shows how normalized all this horror has become.

The captain grins up at the two of them as they watch from above and then turns back to call for the companies to report with this awful wince before going to his death. This man, coping.

Blondie shaking his head the tiniest bit and just straight-up saying he's never seen so many men wasted so badly is such an oddly effective culmination of this extremely quiet, soft buildup of him taking notice of the suffering of the war -- first the men that lay dying near the monastery, then the prisoners who are tortured at the camp, then this whole sequence learning about what's going on here and asking why the captain doesn't just actually blow up the bridge, then this. It's all so understated, but the fact it's getting to him enough to just bring it up, out loud, by itself, not in the service of any other point, is kind of monumental for such a quiet guy. I think it was Christopher Frayling's commentary that mentioned people cheered hard at this line at the cinema back in 1967, in the middle of the Vietnam War.

When Tuco tells him the money's on the other side and Blondie asks where again, and Tuco chuckles and says it's on the other side and that's enough, this has become basically a banter routine, none of the real suspicion and guarded hostility of the earliest times he asked. A fun evolution to follow.

Tuco says they can't get across while those Confederates are there, and Blondie asks what if somebody were to blow up that bridge. That would be a way to let them to get across, sure -- but Blondie already suggested blowing up the bridge earlier before Tuco had ever even indicated that getting across would be a problem for them, so it's pretty plain that that's not really why Blondie's thinking about doing it. After listening to the captain explain what's happening here, after seeing all these men fighting and falling and dying and knowing this is happening and will continue to happen twice a day for no purpose at all until they're all dead, he already wants to grant the captain's wish and blow up the bridge so that they can stop all this, and getting across the river in the process is a nice bonus.

As Blondie says that, he takes a match out of his pocket and lifts his fist up to light it. In response, Tuco grabs his wrist and sort of pulls it down and goes, "Yeah! Then these idiots will go somewhere else to fight!" -- what he's figuring will happen is the battle will just move somewhere else and these soldiers will continue to fight there, and Tuco's perfectly content with that view on it, because he's not one of those guys. At which Blondie pauses and says, "Maybe," striking the match in that lower position and then looking down to light his cigar as Tuco lets go of him. He wants blowing up the bridge to actually do some good here, and Tuco's just obliviously rained on his parade a bit with this cynical but probably true point that the soldiers will likely end up just being sent to fight elsewhere. Tuco probably doesn't even pick up that Blondie had a nobler goal in mind when he suggested it. I enjoy the way that Blondie's hand here sort of symbolizes his state of mind -- first this high-minded idea that by blowing it up they'll save these men, then Tuco drags him down with his oblivious cynicism and Blondie has to reluctantly concede that there's a chance his act of heroism might be undermined by the ever-churning war machine. (But he's still reluctant to concede it entirely -- it's a maybe.)

We have sure just taken a full-on dive into an anti-war parable, and I for one don't mind in the slightest. After my first viewing, I felt like this had all been almost a funny little episodic tangent to make a side point, but really the war permeates this movie both before and after this, and this is just the bit that really highlights it in the foreground and brings out the thematic thesis of the film.

We're also bringing into focus Blondie's character development and why ultimately he gets to be the good: of the three main characters, he's the one who sees senseless suffering going on and actually cares and wants to do something about it. Tuco is sympathetic, he's lovable, I adore him, but empathizing with suffering strangers is something he's long since had to suppress in order to get by as a bandit -- and even if Angel Eyes did feel something on some level for the soldiers back at the Confederate fort, he was only there to get the information he wanted and thought nothing of abusing similar soldiers later when it served him. Blondie, though, just wants to help these men out of genuine empathy. He's still a pretty morally questionable outlaw who kills more people onscreen than the other two combined, but he has enough of a conscience, at least at this point in the story, to be repulsed by this.

All in all, this is a movie about empathy and Blondie developing more of it in his quiet way, and empathy in the face of the senseless suffering of war specifically, and these are themes that speak to me.

Blowing it up

Convenient box of explosives, go! I enjoy Blondie taking the cigar out of his mouth and holding it further away once he sees the label on the box.

Really it's amazing the captain hasn't been mortally wounded before, if he was going out on the front lines twice a day. Perhaps he'd been lucky -- or perhaps he was only relatively recently promoted to captain after whoever preceded him also died.

Blondie starts out trying to help by giving him more alcohol, but only tells him after a bit of a pause to keep his ears open with a wink, realizing the captain might not actually make it until the explosion but wanting him to at least be able to die knowing that it's going to happen if so. I enjoy Blondie's tiny little acts of caring in this last chunk of the movie; again, so understated but made a lot more meaningful coming from a guy who's so quiet and unsentimental generally.

The worst thing Blondie and Tuco do in this movie is steal a stretcher carrying a wounded soldier. Jeez, guys, you could have at least just grabbed an empty stretcher. (I guess the stretcher is for passing as medics to the soldiers on the other side -- though it's a little silly that no one notices these two "medics" are carrying a big box prominently marked EXPLOSIVES on their stretcher.) Likewise, a little later they act like they're picking up a guy and then just leave him when the actual medics stop looking -- though at least that guy looks probably already dead.

The slow, mournful choir version of the theme that was cheerfully whistled when they entered the PoW camp plays as they make their way down to the bridge past so, so many dead bodies just lying around. Really drives home how oh, that war backdrop from an hour ago? Remember how ha ha, they got captured as prisoners of war after Tuco yelled pro-Confederate nonsense at the Union troops? Here's the actual war, and it's piles of bodies strewn along the ground in an endless cycle of pointless misery and death. There's a humorous quality to the two of them there with the stretcher grabbing a dead soldier's limbs and then letting them go when no one's looking, keeping the overall tone from becoming too grim, but in a way, that just accentuates the gruesomeness of it all.

Tuco opens the talk at the bridge by saying they might be risking their lives, and Blondie preempts his thought process by saying, "Yeah, and if I get killed you'll never get your hands on all that beautiful money," immediately figuring that's what's on Tuco's mind. Tuco reacts by stopping and turning his head with a "Huh?" -- he thinks Blondie sounds like he's leading up to telling him in order to prevent that outcome. But instead, Blondie just goes, "Yeah, Tuco. Sure would be a pity. :)" What a troll.

Tuco leaves his hat over the first bundle of dynamite he ties to the bridge -- probably he meant to come back to retrieve it, but whoops, Blondie ends up lighting the fuse before he has the chance. RIP hat. The dollars trilogy keeps doing violence to hats.

The captain having the sense that he's dying and asking the doctor to help him live a little longer just so he can actually hear the bridge explode first sure is grim, huh. I also enjoy the pained grunt he makes when the doctor changes the covering on his chest wound rather a lot. The way to my heart is dying depressed alcoholics making pain noises.

Also enjoy Blondie casually taking a coil of fuse that Tuco is carrying on his head. Working together!

Finally Tuco broaches the topic of sharing their respective secrets. Blondie deadpans, "Why don't we?"; Tuco suggests he go first, Blondie says no, it's better if Tuco starts. At this point I'm pretty sure Blondie assumes this is just a slightly altered flavor of the usual back-and-forth about where the cemetery is, that obviously neither of them is actually about to share his secret. He only turns his head when Tuco actually goes, "All right. The name of the cemetery is…"

Tuco is so hesitant about giving up his secret. A couple of times it looks like he's about to lie, his lips clearly getting ready to say something entirely different -- but in the end he does blurt out Sad Hill, trusting Blondie for real with the real name of the cemetery. Implicit in that choice is that he thinks, at this point, Blondie wouldn't just kill or ditch him and go find the treasure on his own, even though now he could -- and also that as much as he clearly considered it, he thinks lying to Blondie would not be worth it. Perhaps he thinks Blondie might be able to tell. Perhaps he just figures they're probably going to be heading there together (the main reason they ultimately don't is that Blondie stops to comfort a dying soldier just when there's an irresistibly convenient horse right there), and then inevitably he would have to take them to the correct cemetery anyway, in which case all lying now would do is make Blondie trust him less.

Blondie also pauses. I expect he has a pretty strong hunch here that Tuco is in fact telling him the truth, unexpectedly, and he takes a moment to think about what to actually tell him, which he hadn't had the chance to plan for because he didn't think this would happen. Blondie's calculating as ever, of course, simply working out how he can win and ensure his own survival at the end of all this. The fact he says anything at all shows that at this point, like Tuco, he does not think Tuco will simply murder him in his sleep in cold blood once he's heard him say a name (a very real possibility at the start of this quest). But he's still quite sure that if he tells the truth, then Tuco is very much liable to attempt to ditch him and get to the treasure first. And Blondie is certainly very conscious that Angel Eyes will probably show up at some unknown point as well, and by that point he would really like to still have leverage: if Tuco goes to the correct grave, and Angel Eyes arrives to find him there, he just shoots him and shoots Blondie too if he comes anywhere close. Blondie should tell Tuco something, though, and the only name he knows in that cemetery is Arch Stanton -- and if he tells him Arch Stanton, then conveniently if Tuco ditches him he would probably find that particular grave for him, as a bonus.

Man, all the completely real debris raining down after that bridge explosion. Something hurtles hard into a sandbag like a meter away from Blondie (I do believe that's a stunt double and not Clint Eastwood, though; some featurette talked about how he was adamant that he and Eli Wallach would be watching the explosion from wherever Sergio Leone himself was going to be watching it from and not one inch closer, having gotten to know the sometimes-questionable safety standards on Leone's shoots). The stories of the making of this movie where Eli Wallach nearly died multiple times sound absolutely wild and kind of horrific.

(If you haven't heard, they also had to blow up the bridge twice, because it got blown up by accident when no cameras were actually running.)

RIP captain. At least he looks pretty fulfilled in his final moments, with his one wish for no more of this particular hell finally coming true.

Of course both sides just go nuts firing at each other after the explosion, each thinking the other side blew up the bridge. So many more people must have died here. But maybe, hopefully, fewer than would have died in the endless cycle of skirmishes if it had stayed intact. Blondie at least hopes so.

The main narrative purpose of the bridge sequence for the plot per se is the bit where Blondie and Tuco share their secrets. Once again they're working together, and doing it well and fluidly, and after all they've been through, Tuco struggles fiercely with it but nonetheless decides he genuinely trusts Blondie not to screw him over if he tells him the cemetery after all. After how hard he tried to torture and kill him in the first half of the movie after Blondie had betrayed him, the fact this happens and it completely tracks at this point is kind of amazing. This fascinating character dynamic never stops evolving in interesting ways.

We, the audience, know that Tuco's telling the truth about Sad Hill. We don't know if Blondie's telling the truth about Arch Stanton, if he really trusts Tuco or not, which creates a fun sense of tension here. It turns out he did not trust him with the real grave (quite sensibly) -- but he does trust that Tuco wouldn't just kill him right now if he said a name, which also tracks perfectly. Tuco may be obsessed with money and liable to betray anyone when it suits him, but at this point, he wouldn't jump at the chance to kill Blondie, and he knows it.

The aftermath

It is quite something that Blondie and Tuco just end up falling asleep in the open air in the middle of all that noise, and by the time they wake up the entire army is gone, and also Tuco was in this ridiculous pose the whole time. We are of course being somewhat misled here: it looks like they both just fell asleep right there, but in reality, Blondie stayed awake at least long enough to unload Tuco's gun after Tuco'd fallen asleep. Tuco legitimately seems to have just fallen asleep like this, though.

With more time to think through what's going to happen from here, Blondie has worked out that there's a good chance of him, Tuco and Angel Eyes all winding up in the cemetery together, at the grave of Arch Stanton. He'll still have the ace up his sleeve, the location where the money is really buried. He'll be able to manipulate the situation into a standoff between the three of them. He's probably pretty sure Tuco would join him in taking down Angel Eyes, in this situation. But he can't fully trust that Tuco wouldn't ultimately also try to shoot him, when the money is at stake, and trying to juggle watching out for both of them at the same time sounds pretty dicey. It's safest by far if he just removes Tuco from the equation. Which he can, by quietly emptying his gun while he sleeps.

And probably a part of it is also that making sure Tuco can't shoot him means that he won't have to shoot Tuco. At this point, he doesn't want to do that either.

(Noteworthy: Blondie could have easily gone on without Tuco here if he'd wanted to; he was both awake sometime in the night when Tuco was fast asleep enough to let him unload his gun, and then he wakes up ahead of him in the morning. But he didn't; he fully intends to head to the cemetery with Tuco. There are many reasons for this, of course: trying to beat them to the gold is just needlessly risky; if he were to start digging at the correct grave he would have to worry about both Tuco and Angel Eyes catching up with him afterwards and he would have no leverage left and no reason for them not to just kill him; and all in all, he has a plan all laid out, and that plan involves getting both Tuco and Angel Eyes there at the wrong grave before he plays his trump card.)

I enjoy Blondie waking up Tuco by tipping him over with his foot and Tuco's flailing start. What a pair.

When all the sound is added in post, a choice like the birdsong that they wake up to becomes very considered and symbolic, representing this fragile peace that's descended over the area now that the armies are gone as nature takes its usual indifferent course after the horrors.

There are so many goddamn bodies. War is horrid. Both Blondie and Tuco look at the dead a bit as they walk onwards. Some of them are wearing extremely dusty Union uniforms, bringing back this funny gag from earlier in a more serious and somber way; the area's not even that dusty, but here it becomes more of a symbolic thing, of how really, in death, these men all look the same.

Tuco looks inside the ruined chapel and just isn't super interested, looks at Blondie whose gaze is lingering on the wounded soldier, and then walks towards the horse that happens to be tied nearby, probably already thinking about how if Blondie's distracted, and he grabs the horse, then he can beat him to the cemetery and the grave, and then he can just get all the money, right…? (I think Tuco has sort of forgotten about Angel Eyes, as I think the viewer is probably also meant to; Blondie definitely has not.)

Meanwhile, Blondie goes to comfort a dying soldier, in whatever small way he can, the final escalation of his small acts of caring for the casualties of the war -- there's no additional motive for this one at all (and in fact it actively delays him in his goals), just a moment of pure, genuine sympathy for someone who's suffering. The Blondie at the beginning of the movie would in all likelihood not have concerned himself with this at all; he just wanted to avoid the war and not get caught up in it. But as it is, over the course of the story he's had to face his own mortality a few times, seen the suffering of the war over and over, been personally imprisoned in a PoW camp, and witnessed the endless senseless slaughter of the war machine from the midst of it, and at this point he can't turn away and can't help but just feel for this kid, on a basic human level.

Blondie hears the horse neighing (probably reacting to Tuco coming up to it) and looks away, causing him to miss the actual moment of the soldier's death -- I suspect Sergio Leone likes the idea of affording someone dignity by not having someone straight-up watch them die (which comes up in Once Upon a Time in the West as well), but here it's portrayed as not a choice Blondie makes but as an accident that he feels kind of bad about if anything.

I like how Blondie's about to take his jacket again but then changes his mind, just pats the dead soldier and picks up the nearby poncho instead. The soldier's dead and will never know the difference, but he just can't bring himself to take this back from him. (Instead, the outfit from A Fistful of Dollars and For a Few Dollars More is finally complete.)

Meanwhile, Tuco has betrayed him. There was no way Tuco could not grab this chance, with a horse up for grabs and Blondie preoccupied. Blondie is completely unfazed, of course, because he pretty much predicted this.

Blondie doesn't aim the cannon at all, not trying to actually hit Tuco, just scare him a bit and potentially slow him down. (It does mean it could have hit him if he'd happened to ride into the path of the cannonball, and in fact he came perilously close to doing just that -- Blondie's not going out of his way to make sure he doesn't get hurt, not when Tuco's in the process of trying to screw him over.) The poor horse is an innocent victim in all this, but we do at least seemingly see the horse standing up and okay in the shot where the second shot is fired.

This whole bit is pretty somber, though punctuated by a bit of humour -- the aftermath of the battle, the culmination of Blondie's character development, the dying soldier. We're lingering on the effects of the war.

Tuco's betrayal and Blondie shooting after him is pretty noOOoooOOo moment when rooting for them to split the treasure -- you were so close! Don't do this, guys! But of course, we're nowhere near done with them with this little breakdown of the fragile potential mutual trust we'd established; instead, this is more of a buildup moment to bring back the tension between them and make them more wary of each other for the finale in spite of the ways they've grown to like and almost trust each other. The film never stops being about the relationship between these two guys.

The cemetery

I enjoy how once Tuco realizes he's at a cemetery he starts by crossing himself and then looks at the map to make sure before just throwing the map away. Tuco's religiosity, genuinely important enough to him to come first here.

The sheer size of this cemetery, spreading almost endlessly out from the center, is so immense, and so drives home the scale of mass death that is happening -- and Tuco's running around in it for three and a half full minutes, all these graves just zooming past until they become a blur, and the only reason the film can actually get away with spending so much time on Tuco just running around in a cemetery is that "The Ecstasy of Gold" makes this scene in which nothing is technically happening absolutely exhilarating and thoroughly climactic. Ennio Morricone went so, so hard on this particular piece and it was exactly the right decision.

It's also very symbolic how the graves all blur together. Tuco's here for one particular grave; the others are background noise, like horrors always tend to become, just blending together into a mush. None of the actual characters visibly take in the scale of death that this cemetery represents (to be fair, they're all pretty busy); the viewer just has to look at this sequence and absorb it from beyond the fourth wall.

Tuco's a shaky reader, as we've established; he's absolutely not reading all those names in full as he's zooming by the graves. But he's had a moment to piece together in his head how Arch Stanton's name is probably written, so he's probably going past all these graves mostly looking at the start of the name and whether it looks like ARCH.

The way Tuco hugs and caresses the Arch Stanton cross first thing and the excited breathing and grunts as he digs through to the coffin, man. He's like a man possessed. This gold represents everything to him right now.

(Will getting a bunch of money actually make Tuco happy? I doubt it, but all he really understands and clings to is that money is how you improve your lot in life, so having this much money must solve all of his problems forever, right?)

All these crosses are so makeshift. Arch Stanton's cross is made of misshapen pieces of wood that don't even fit together. Really tangible sense with this production design of how hastily all these graves had to be dug, which also adds to the scale of horror silently conveyed with this cemetery.

When Blondie shows up, Tuco looks at him and veeery slowly drags his hand up to his pistol. If he can catch Blondie off guard, he can shoot him and keep all the treasure. At least back at the monastery, that was definitely his plan for when they found the grave, I expect. But at this point he seems decidedly hesitant even before he's grabbed hold of his gun. He doesn't really want to kill Blondie anymore at all.

Blondie is not caught off guard, of course, immediately notices, and just shakes his head and lifts his poncho to show his own gun: don't even think about it. Tuco fiddles with his vest and plays it off with a little shrug like that's all he was doing, and Blondie smiles just a little bit. So very Tuco -- and confirmation that Tuco's not actually particularly determined to kill him. Blondie knows Tuco has no bullets in his gun, of course, and is harmless to him regardless. But if Tuco had actually gone ahead and tried it, this might all have had to end a little differently -- Tuco would have discovered early that his gun was empty, for one, which would have meant a confrontation with just him about that immediately.

I love how Tuco picks up the shovel and looks to Blondie for permission to keep digging. Even though Tuco thinks his gun is loaded, he's basically just accepted Blondie's in control here. Implicitly, he's still expecting that what Blondie wants is to split the treasure (otherwise he'd hardly want to keep digging), and although he'd of course like to have all of it he's basically made peace with that.

Both Blondie and Angel Eyes throw a shovel at Tuco, and both times it looks inches from hitting the real non-stunt-double Eli Wallach, first his hand and then his head. Did they practice shovel-throwing beforehand to be sure they wouldn't actually hit him or what.

Blondie sure takes his time pulling out a match and lighting a cigar as Angel Eyes has arrived, even with a gun pointed at him. He probably figures Angel Eyes is already unlikely to actually shoot until he's absolutely certain they are at the correct grave -- after all, Angel Eyes is the one who, back at the camp, figured that Blondie was too smart to talk.

As Angel Eyes cocks his gun at Blondie, Tuco grabs the handle of the shovel, ready to act. Sort of fascinated he goes for the shovel rather than his gun -- perhaps, if he went for the gun, that'd be the kind of escalation that'd give Angel Eyes cause to just shoot him immediately, but being ready with the shovel lets him prepare to go on the attack without prompting that.

When Blondie reveals the skeleton in the coffin, Tuco starts by reacting in disgust and crossing himself frantically… and only then realizes that wait. Blondie lied about Arch Stanton, to Tuco, when Tuco'd just told him the truth. Tuly top ten anime betrayals. I love how Tuco will betray anyone and anything but that doesn't stop him from feeling very, very betrayed when someone betrays him back. Of course Blondie couldn't trust him -- Tuco has already betrayed him! -- but Tuco thought he did. ("You thought I'd trust you?", indeed.)

Thanks to Blondie's gambit, everything is going according to plan. Angel Eyes is here, but Blondie is still the only one who knows the real grave, giving him the leverage to make Angel Eyes put his gun away and set up the rigged Mexican standoff -- the 'truel' -- where he can kill Angel Eyes and test Tuco one last time. And if things should go wrong and Angel Eyes does manage to kill Blondie… there's no name on the rock, and at least Blondie can die spitefully knowing they'll be left with no idea where the gold is at all.

(I wonder what Blondie would have said to Tuco if Angel Eyes had taken more time to get there; he would have had to either stall somehow or just plain tell him he's not saying anything until they know where Angel Eyes is. Theoretically he could have told him that from the start, of course, but Blondie isn't huge on telling other people what he's planning, and he probably wasn't super keen on giving Angel Eyes the sense the two of them are working together against him from the start, either; that might have made him more trigger-happy on Tuco.)

The truel

Angel Eyes doesn't turn his back on Tuco as he takes his position, instead turning with his back towards Blondie; he figures, probably correctly, that Tuco might be liable to shoot him in the back if he had the chance but Blondie probably wouldn't.

(We briefly see Angel Eyes' horse in the background in one of the shots here; eventually, Blondie's going to ride that horse away from there. The horse that Tuco briefly stole should also be around here somewhere -- we saw it standing and apparently okay after falling over during the cannon fire, so Tuco might be able to ride that horse back to town.)

The truel is a delightful masterclass in tension, buildup and visual storytelling -- just a sequence of intense close-ups and music. It was the one bit of this film that I had seen before the screening we went to in September, in a film class about fifteen years ago. All I really remembered of it from there was that it had zero dialogue and a lot of close-ups; I don't think it hits nearly as well when shown as a clip out of context, unfortunately, when you have no idea who these characters are or why they're here or what has led up to this.

I will confess, though, that even first time watching it in context in the movie, I had some trouble following the flow of it. By the time we started just cutting between close-ups, I hadn't quite made firm enough note of the characters' positions relative to one another (and thus who they were looking at with each glance), or of whose gun was which -- both things that in hindsight and on repeat viewings are extremely obvious but that I genuinely struggled with first time -- such that I just didn't have time to piece together exactly what a given shot was actually showing me before it cut to the next thing. I don't know if this is a common experience for others on a first viewing. But the fun thing is it still works even if you can't really follow the moment-to-moment flow, because it's still effective buildup and tension. Even if all you're getting out of the individual shots is the rough gist that they're all reluctant to be the first to go for their gun while trying to watch for whether the others seem to be making a move (well, mostly Tuco and Angel Eyes; Blondie is stoic and inscrutable as ever, of course), the way that Ennio Morricone's score builds and the cuts get quicker and the shots keep getting tighter until it's just their eyes builds the tension perfectly toward a climax.

However, here's the moment-to-moment flow laid out, for anyone else who had trouble with it: as they initially size each other up, Blondie raises his eyebrow at Angel Eyes, and Angel Eyes visibly tenses at that, sensing that Blondie wants to go for him and is the greater threat. Tuco starts out with his eyes flicking between the other two, starting to reach for his gun early, at which Angel Eyes looks at him with contempt; Tuco stops and hesitates. Blondie looks at Tuco, and Tuco looks back at him, then back at Angel Eyes, then at Blondie's gun: Tuco's wondering if, if he shoots Angel Eyes, Blondie's going to shoot him. Tuco fidgets but doesn't draw. Angel Eyes, meanwhile, swallows looking at Blondie, notices Tuco's fidgeting, and then looks back at Blondie with a slight lick of his lips, hand moving towards his gun: he's thinking about going for Blondie, now that he's looking at Tuco rather than him. But once Blondie looks back towards him, his hand withdraws again, not wanting to attract a shot. Tuco's still glancing back and forth, but as he's looking at Blondie, Blondie looks back at him with the tiniest nod. Angel Eyes notices, looking nervously between the two of them, and then slowly goes for his gun again. Blondie keeps looking at Tuco, and Tuco keeps looking back at Blondie, eyes widening. Angel Eyes gives one more look back at Tuco, then stays on Blondie, hand still slowly approaching his gun, Blondie and Tuco fixed on each other all the while. Then, with the last few rapid cuts, Tuco's eyes dart back to Angel Eyes just as Angel Eyes moves to grab his gun, Tuco immediately goes for his to try to shoot Angel Eyes first, and then Blondie's shot rings out.

Angel Eyes had the advantage when he arrived on the scene in the graveyard, gun at the ready, but once Blondie has forced him into this truel setup, he's out of his element, no longer in control: even though he's a quick shot (as we saw at Stevens' at the beginning), he's still dead if the other guy then goes for him. And Blondie proceeds to psych him out by first indicating subtly that he's going for him and then very deliberately shifting his focus to Tuco and nodding at him, to both make Angel Eyes more nervous (the nod suggests they're together in this and will both shoot him) and bait him into shooting him (because Blondie doesn't seem to be paying attention to Angel Eyes). All in all, Angel Eyes is tangibly nervous for this whole buildup, backed into a strange corner he didn't expect, which is pretty interesting after he's spent the whole movie up until now very confident and in control.

Blondie's true attention for the truel was always going to be focused on Angel Eyes, of course: he shamelessly cheated at the Mexican standoff by emptying Tuco's gun, so Tuco is harmless and ultimately irrelevant for all this. But in the process of this, and probably as a secondary purpose to drawing out the setup like this at all, he also gets to test Tuco a bit. Nodding to him suggests Let's team up and get Angel Eyes, and he will get to see if Tuco actually does or not.

Tuco starts out very nervous, just off learning Blondie didn't tell him the real name of the grave, and thinks that Blondie might shoot him -- but Blondie gives that tiniest of nods to him, and when Angel Eyes is about to try to shoot Blondie, Tuco goes for his gun to try to shoot Angel Eyes first. Even after Blondie has shot him down, Tuco's still trying to shoot Angel Eyes, not going for Blondie. We've come a long way from the first hour of the movie.

(It's kind of hilarious to think about how realistically these guys are all standing way too far away from each other to actually be able to see these microexpressions on each other. But if the law of the movie is that the characters can only see is what's in frame, perhaps they also get the benefits of intense close-ups.)

It's all over so quickly. As has been noted often, Sergio Leone really likes to draw out the buildup to violence and then make the actual thing incredibly brief -- the truel is almost five full minutes of buildup, and then it's effectively concluded with one single bullet fired, with a second one merely added for good measure several seconds later. Blondie just shoots him; Angel Eyes never gets to shoot at all; Tuco attempts to but his gun is empty. No flashy action sequence here, just that rising tension ending in almost an anticlimax.

It's a very considered anticlimax, of course: the real point of interest turns out to be not how Angel Eyes is defeated, but the revelation that Tuco's gun is empty, was empty this whole time, and Blondie had carefully rigged this entire situation in his favor, because he is one very smart, devious man. The true finale is about Blondie and Tuco, as it always had to be, because most of the movie is about Blondie and Tuco.

(This does mean Angel Eyes feels a bit underutilized in the movie -- how easily he ends up being dispatched here does feel like kind of a letdown, after all the time we spent building up how competent and terrifying he is. It might have been neat to see a bit more of him being tangibly competent and scary here towards the end, one way or another, even though Blondie ultimately has to end up outwitting him.)

Initially, Tuco just looks confused that his gun didn't fire. Blondie cocks his gun again -- and Tuco flinches, immediately, instinctively thinking it means Blondie's going for him next. But no, he's just going to shoot Angel Eyes again (though not until the moment Angel Eyes has managed to point his gun again -- Blondie could have just shot him right at the start and been done with it, but he has his thing about generally not shooting until the other person starts to draw). Blondie's sparing Tuco, like in his introduction -- and like in his introduction, there's a bit more to it than that.

It's very funny how he shoots Angel Eyes right into a convenient open grave, and then casually shoots his hat and gun into the grave too. I enjoy that this film is stylized enough to get away with this kind of indulgent silliness. (The dollars trilogy continues to commit hat violence.)

Tuco continues to look so confused, until Blondie walks up to the stone and then just smiles at him, again pleased to see Tuco did not even try to shoot him. And Tuco gives kind of a hesitant smile back. So it's the two of them? Blondie does want to share the gold with him after all? Blondie goes to pick up the stone, casually…

…and that's when Tuco looks back at his gun and realizes. It's not jammed, it's empty. He knows he loaded it. The only way it can be empty right now is if Blondie did it, while they were together. It's another betrayal.

I enjoy Tuco going "You wanted to get me killed!" specifically -- emptying his gun and making him defenseless generally would be a recipe for getting him killed, and in his current state of betrayal, it's reasonable to feel that way. But really, if anything, Blondie did this to not get Tuco killed -- it meant he could afford not to shoot him, and to focus on baiting Angel Eyes' shot.

"You see, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." Turning Tuco's thing back on him sure is a thing that Blondie is very deliberately doing right now and is about to be doing more of. His plan worked, Angel Eyes is dead, and he's left completely in control here with a helpless, unarmed Tuco -- and now he can do whatever he wants. And one of the things he wants is to not have to do the grunt work here.

Tuco, bless him, does not even really consider the position he's in right now, or the slightly malicious undertone to Blondie's words -- he just hears that apparently he can go dig up the treasure.

This is a magnificent scene, of course. The standoff itself is iconic, but the reveal of how Blondie cheated at the standoff -- the three-way duel was really just a two-way duel after all that -- is such a fun twist on it all. On a first viewing we really aren't fully aware just how calculated Blondie is until we get here: we've just seen he's very observant, smart enough to know talking won't save him, and savvy enough not to trust Tuco with the real name on the grave. But no, this man is wickedly smart and he played them both and the audience to get the outcome he wanted, where he wins. Tuco is alive right now only because Blondie wanted him to be.

The finale

Blondie drops Tuco's gun a short distance away from the grave, where Tuco will be able to get it once he's down from the noose but no sooner.

Once again Tuco has trouble reading "Unknown", and once again I love this little character trait. It really is a very counterintuitively spelled word; I can't blame him.

Blondie reveals he wrote nothing at all on the stone, which also means that bringing the rock with him over here at all was pure showmanship. Tuco doesn't even react to that at this point; of course Blondie orchestrated everything in his favor, but he's a bit too preoccupied with the bit where this is the real grave with the real money.

Blondie smiles pretty genuinely as he tells Tuco to go ahead, even though the earlier ominous line about how you dig was more threatening. He knows how much Tuco wants to dig it up, in the end, so this is effectively an invitation rather than an order.

Tuco's excited giggling as he unearths the bags of money and holds it in his hands is precious. He's so utterly giddy about this.

"It's all ours, Blondie!" he says, and that kinda breaks my heart. He's totally accepted they're sharing it, and is excited about it, and unthinkingly speaks of the whole cache as ours rather than as mine. That feels pretty monumental, from Tuco, and I think it's completely genuine in this moment (much as he would probably be liable to betray him later). Only then he looks up to find a noose.

Blondie has probably been planning this since the monastery. He'd play the long game, he'd go along with Tuco to find this gold, and then, once they'd done that, he'd take his own revenge. As far as Tuco was concerned, both the hanging and the desert walk were about turning what Blondie did to him back on him -- but Tuco went quite a bit further in both cases. Blondie may have left Tuco hanging for a couple of seconds, by accident, but the next shot got him down; Tuco tried to make him hang himself. Blondie may have left Tuco to fend for himself in the desert with nothing, but he was alone, able to rest when he wanted, and got back to town fine in the end; Tuco forced Blondie to walk on and on with no breaks until he collapsed, while actively tormenting and humiliating him. They were never even after all this, and beneath it all, even as he grew fond of Tuco in spite of himself -- Blondie has spent this whole journey with the quiet, simmering urge to turn all that back on Tuco, at the end of it all. As I mentioned before, I particularly enjoy the unstated implication that the hanging must have left a pretty strong impression on him, even though he didn't show it much at the time, because he specifically goes out of his way here to replicate that, by making Tuco get up on the cross and put his own head in the noose. But also, leaving Tuco staring at this money that he desires more than anything while unable to get it evokes the water in the desert. Rendering him completely helpless and letting him believe he's going to die evokes both.

(There is, of course, also a practical reason Blondie would do this: given he wants to ride out of here with his share of the money without Tuco on his heels, it ensures he gets a good head start before Tuco could follow. But the details of it decidedly didn't need to be like this. He could have skipped the bit about telling Tuco to get up on an unsteady cross and making it look like he was just leaving him there and specifically disappearing off behind a tree for a bit before returning. No, Blondie definitely wanted to make Tuco squirm, in specific and twisted ways, just like Tuco did to him.)

Originally, I suspect the plan would have ended with just leaving him there, and probably with Blondie taking all the money out from under his nose while he watches (which, after all, is an even better match for what Tuco did to him in the desert). But over the course of the film's events, Blondie's softened a little, and he really has grown fond of Tuco -- not quite so fond he could just shrug and forgive him for the literal torture, but fond enough the plan has changed. He'll let him squirm for a bit, let him fear, but then he'll shoot him down one more time, for old times' sake. And -- perhaps cemented by the fact Tuco went for Angel Eyes during the truel despite everything -- he'll leave half the money for him, too. This is genuinely very soft for Blondie under the circumstances; last time he left Tuco behind with a rope around his neck, Blondie took all the money just because.

(Back at the beginning, Tuco told him, Whoever double-crosses me and leaves me alive, he knows nothing about Tuco. Blondie probably knows Tuco might come after him again for this. He chooses to leave him alive again anyway.)

(All in all, I think it's pretty safe to assume both Blondie and Tuco had originally meant to kill the other at the cemetery, but ultimately abandon those plans before they ever come to fruition. Parallels!)

It kills me how disbelieving Tuco is, after all this. Blondie wouldn't play a joke on him like that! Only he sure did, back when he left him in the desert at the start, didn't he. But now?

I enjoy how Blondie's putting his gun away even before Tuco actually gets in the noose. He could try something at this stage, but he still thinks Blondie's not actually doing this, that sure, okay, he'll just get in the rope quickly and then maybe Blondie's going to say something about that time Tuco tried to hang him or whatever and then he'll let him down. Right??

…only then Blondie just goes and silently ties his hands behind his back, tightly, and then pulls on the rope. I love the dawning fear on Tuco's face, his eyes widening and shifting back and forth with the creeping feeling that Blondie could be serious about this.

Even then, Tuco remains there silently confused, waiting for Blondie to turn around and say just kidding, until Blondie's loaded his half of the money onto Angel Eyes' horse, and even then, he only speaks up with this little, hesitant, "Hey, Blon-- Blond--?" (and of course trying to speak just puts him off balance, and Blondie ignores him completely to mount the horse and prepare to ride off). Truly so reluctant to believe this and it's painful.

Blondie's "Sorry, Tuco," is definitely intentionally designed to evoke "Sorry, Shorty," where Shorty did indeed get hanged. This is a cruel, cruel little bit. But lest we forget, Tuco was very, very cruel to Blondie. Their revenge on each other is always so specifically prompted.

Tuco watching Blondie ride off, yelling, repeatedly starting to lose his balance as the noose tightens, increasingly close to tears, is just a magnificent bit made for me and my buttons specifically. Thank you, Sergio Leone and Eli Wallach.

Once Blondie has reappeared and taken out his rifle, he really takes his time aiming carefully with the sight up. It's a shot from much further away than usual, but I like to think it's also a sign that he's absolutely not planning to miss this time.

Tuco's first thought when Blondie reappears is relief, but then as he aims, there's this little moment of Tuco looking uncertain again -- is he going to hit? Is he even going to free him, or is he aiming to shoot Tuco?

There's this simple percussion rhythm that kicks in just as Blondie goes, "Well, now. Seems just like old times," which sort of evokes a pounding heartbeat. It stops when Blondie disappears, comes in again when he reappears, then stops again once he's aiming at the rope and Tuco has that moment of doubt, and then kicks in again after he makes the shot. I think it's largely there for the impact of the bits where it falls silent, as if Tuco's heart has gone still.

Tuco's scream as he falls is probably both just the fact he's suddenly falling with his hands tied (and he lands with his face on the money bags, ouch), the pent-up emotion of all of this, and the instinctive primal fear of having a gun pointed basically at you and then hearing a bang.

Blondie looks so pleased with himself after pulling that off. Tuco's alive, has his gold, can't follow. He made a pretty badass shot that definitely makes up for that one that missed. Tuco may be left with his hands tied and a rope around his neck, just like at the start, but this time he does get his fair share, and Blondie's happy for him to have it. This bit of retribution was enough, and I think he and Tuco are now basically square as far as he sees it -- if not, why leave the gold, after all.

Tuco… feels considerably less pleased about any of this, of course, yelling after him that he's a dirty son of a bitch (or dirty son of a WAAEEAHEEAH, rather). Obviously this was a thoroughly harrowing experience on his end and it makes good sense he's pretty mad about it (Blondie did betray him first!). But he's fine and he has his money, and I definitely imagine he makes it back to town with it, especially with the second horse who's hanging out there not too far away. From there, maybe he pursues Blondie again, hoping for another bout of extremely specific revenge; maybe after he's recovered a little bit he manages to reluctantly let it go for now and enjoy being rich, for real. Which I'm not sure is actually all that enjoyable -- being a wanted outlaw with obscene amounts of money in a society full of money-hungry bounty hunters sounds like a pretty stressful time, actually -- but I'm sure Tuco will squeeze any enjoyment out of it that he can and insist that he's doing great.

Really, though, I root for Blondie and Tuco to meet again one day in a capacity where they could actually just chill and be friends for real. The potential is so clearly there: Blondie obviously can't help being fond of and entertained by Tuco's Tuco-ness; Tuco so clearly really needs the company of someone who actually likes him, even if he thinks what he needs is money; they get along and work together so well when their goals aren't in conflict. I can see Tuco coming after him for revenge and it ending with them coming to a funny mutual understanding instead. It could happen.

Blondie couldn't just let the torture go, though. And I think that's basically the thing that captivates me most about this movie -- this extremely tangled dynamic and the wild extremes that it represents and the way it plays with the audience's emotions. By this point, we don't want Blondie to do this to Tuco -- but it makes sense, doesn't it, that he did not in fact just shrug off and forget about what Tuco did to him. The stoic, unruffled guy was actually silently ruffled enough, beneath it all, to be harboring this plan, and yet over the course of the story has developed enough affection for Tuco to ultimately execute it in this way that is cruel but still leaves Tuco unharmed and with half of the gold. The fact he is that fond of him but still could not find it in him to just ditch this plan entirely says a lot about how it must in fact have messed him up a fair bit. I'm just captivated by this man and the fact he would do this, in this exact particular manner.

(To be clear, my thesis here is that Blondie doing this is interesting and coherent, as a dark, twisted response to some very specific trauma, much like Tuco's own actions were interesting and prompted by specific ways that Blondie had been cruel to him, not that it is justified. These are a couple of fucked-up guys doing fucked-up things to each other for interestingly fucked-up reasons. Maybe, if they do meet again, they can actually talk about it on a slightly more even footing and deal with all this in a healthier way; I want that for them. In the movie itself, though, I'm just enjoying this twisted dance of hurt and revenge lovingly threaded through their genuine bonding.)

Meanwhile, we've grown to love Tuco over the course of all this, in spite of everything, and it's an enormous relief when Blondie actually does come back and shoot him down. We've been following these two characters for three hours, we weren't expecting Blondie to pull the rug out from under us like this now, but it makes a horrible amount of sense, and we're rooting for them but there's enough ambiguity and enough enormous baggage going on between them to genuinely worry he's just going to leave him, which would be awful. There's a very particular emotional progression for the audience going on here that I enjoy a lot (not that that's going to be the exact progression for every member of the audience, because people are different and have different reactions to media, but you know).

All in all, this movie just really got into my head the more I thought about it, and I love it a lot. There's a lot of specific me appeal (what an exquisite amount of executions), but it's also just enormously engaging to my brain on about fifteen different levels. It has definitely taken a spot somewhere on my favorite movies list; I'm not unseating O Brother, Where Art Thou? for official #1 fave, but next time I try to make an ordered list I might put it at number two.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[rhaenin-time]

oh no another break from my break because yes i did end up watching the episode.

It's SO bad you guys. To the point that I can see into the writers' room. They didn't even bother to close the drapes!

BUT! must... finish... chapter... and... establish... habit... of continuing to write despite HotD's bad practices because I've come too far...

I swear it's not a sunk cost fallacy. Okay it's a sunk cost but also I DO want to finish because I'm clearly still not ready to settle into original work, I don't want to start a new fic in a different fandom, and also... I do want to finish what will be a ridiculously long fic because I want to. Why is it so hard? Because everytime I put time aside and sit down to it, I start breaking down HotD's writing problems instead because thinking about F&B canon and thinking about where HotD went wrong... is kind of one and the same. Pretty much everything wrong with it can be traced back to deviating from the book.

Ugh, it's just annoying because before I started, I did read up a lot about specifically what kind of fic writing is actually beneficial for practicing original novel writing skills. And one of the big rules is that you need to resist the urge for wish-fulfillment or indulging in head canons with little basis in canon (nothing wrong with those fics they're just not considered a good way to build skills that transfer over to novel writing) and aside from your intentional and well thought out deviations, you're supposed to remain as consistent with the source material's themes, worldbuilding, and characterizations as you can.

Problem is that HotD already broke those rules in their expensive fanfic people keep claiming is canon. Problem is... I too included it as canon. Because I already accounted for the changes season 1 made to Fire & Blood and part of the challenge that actually started off as fun was reconciling those changes and trying to merge them with the source material.

But they've gone too far! And I know it sounds kind of weird and pretentious and self-aggrandizing (I am all those things don't get me wrong) but I'm annoyed that now it might look like it's MY fic that decided to do whatever it wants with canon, especially characterization. Because especially when there's so much bigotry and politics involved, I actually find it kind of distasteful when fic writers intentionally disregard established themes, characterization and worldbuilding in order to indulge in bigoted mindsets and interpretations. Don't get me wrong, I'm not arguing for censorship or anything I just find it distasteful, and bad practice when the writer is unwilling to admit what they're doing and those interpretations find their way into the actual fandom and you get people arguing for them regarding the actual source material. Again, especially when bigotry and bad politics are involved.

Which is also annoying because so many of HotD's unjustified deviations are rooted in the bigoty and bad politics that, again, Fire & Blood actually condemns. And (that part of) this fandom is so annoying as it is. And as weird as it sounds I actually was trying really hard to "lead by example" and be as fair as I could to the greens, because, again, I'm trying to develop good writing practices.

Anyways, I guess this is a Fire & Blood merged with season 1 fic now, and everything will now err on the side of Fire & Blood. Anything established after season 1 is just Corlys's ep 8 - ep 10 fever dream and he wakes up in real canon which errs toward book canon aside from the changes season 1 made that I already accounted for. HotD has not earned the right to call itself its own narrative, so it's part of the greater metanarrative that Fire & Blood is a part of. Maester Condal's volume is simply... a conflicting account that has strong evidence for part 1 that sometimes even overrides Gyldayn's accounts, but he ran out of material and started making shit up and the challenge is in figuring out WHERE. Somewhere in between, the real story lurks...

Feel free to swipe that for your own sanity.

Is it unhinged that I'm claiming that my sometimes crackfic where the key players include Rhaenyra's boobs, Laenor's lube mummy, and Rhaenys's mop dummy is more respectful to Fire & Blood than HBO is? Yes. But is it also true? Also yes. And that's the damning part.

This has been an unedited rant.

Edit:

Wait. Do I take this in a meta direction for my author's notes? Since Aemond is Condal's blatant and uncomfortably telling self-insert... Hmm... You know Aemond’s pretentious study group I made up because I think it's weird that HotD doesn't realize that it's downright impossible for royals to be as isolated as they try to claim? Well, one of the members is named Ryam Condal. And he went on to write a *totally true account. Unfortunately, he was too young and naive to see Aemond for the dweeb he actually is, and also Aemond gave him weird ideas about dragons and Targaryens that he never unlearned.

edit edit

Wait. Should I truly invent a Condal insert named Condal who's slightly younger than Aemond and has a dumb admiration for him and wants to know why he doesn't come to their study group anymore now that Rhaenyra's around to properly educate him?

[inkedwingss]

about poetry

Good things take time? Sometimes. There are dreadful things that happen for too long, and amazing splits of a second. The amount of time and effort are not the main indicators that something has value.

I was thinking that specifically because of my poems — because I was arguing with myself the other day about how I feel they have no value, even though I'm aware this is the wrong thought to think (and I will always defend thinking and feeling something is a real experience, but not necessarily rooted in truth). But poems... What are these little creatures? It's just that they happen so quickly! They burst from my mind and I type as fast as I can so I don't lose the line. They are not perfect, but they are mine, and they are true, and they are... Valuable.

I cried one day on my way to the coffee shop to see my new friend and give him the poem I wrote for him. Our friendship was two weeks old. The poem took me less than ten minutes to write, and while reading it, he cried. We sat under the sun for about three hours (not the whole day, not a whole life), and then he walked me back to the bridge — probably a five-minute walk.

All of that had immense value. Priceless treasure. It happened fast. It burned my heart forever.

To me writing it's just what I do, something I can't stop doing and I will never stop doing even if I don't ever publish anything at all. I don't struggle to write, I struggle with physical pain/fatigue, my own wrong thoughts, a busy routine and other shit, but writing will happen. At some point in my day, I just have to do it.

So yes, we live in times where things are immediate, and I will always advocate for the slow life, slow growth... I don't believe in rushing the process or jumping stages. It takes time to build true skills even in the creative, intuitive realm. It does! But also, sometimes, things happen fast. Maybe you have a talent, or you practised so much that know it just "comes naturally." Maybe you've been deeply inspired. Maybe your brain is wired that way (@goodluckclove). Whatever it is: what you do still has value even if you struggle to do it, or when you do not struggle at all. Value is within.

I decided to do with this one that was waiting in my draft for the first tag list post. Thank you, angels.

@caustic-splines @hersurvival @icantdance @poetici @informedimagining @thedayoftherae @sablewing @stumbling-through-time @burntblanc @lelestarmy @fairytaleinagem @remnantofabrokensoul

[queenoftsage]

I always see these ToP 10 KoReAn AcToRs ThAt ArE sO GrEAt [OmG] on... Fail Tube...

And to be honest, they always fail me. Come the F on peoples. Where are my faves?

Yeah yeah I know. I'm not general audiences. So.... Let's make my own.

Behind this read on, you will find my TOP 10 South Korean Actors of .... Well all time. Including NEWBIES, and Honorable Mentions.

P.S. this list is based on ACTING talent. Yes, most of these men or male presenting peoples I'm about to name may be good looking, but they have the TALENT to keep me entertained. ME, who is very picky for... pretty much anything, especially a whole ass show or movie I'm gonna give hours upon hours of my time to watch. If you can't act, your looks to me are gonna go down the drain. You can't be a bad actor and be good looking, because then I'll be like... yeah... that mofo is on that screen just cause of looks. They have no freakin' talent. GET ME OUTTA HERE. lol.

THIS SAID....

Ready to hate me cause I didn't include your faves? lol. READ ON, or forever hold your peas and carrots,. and MOVE ON. [aka- don't click 'keep reading'] [Warning: LONG ASS post.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#10

Park Hae Soo

Listen.... It took 'Narco Saints' for me to realize that... I do love watching him on screen. I have also seen him in other things, and I honestly have loved his performances.

He manages to hold my attention long enough to acknowledge that... Yeah, I like this guy, he is very good at his craft. Let's go see more stuff with him in it! So that's how I decided he's a fave. lol.

My nickname for him: Mr. Narco Saint.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#9

Kim Jae Wook

I have seen him in SO MANY series/dramas, and every single time, every SINGLE time, he makes me root for his characters. Yes, even when he's playing evil AF characters. I think high key, he fits the villain characters a little more. I don't know, it's something about his elegant looks that make it easy for him to play villains. His most memorable being in 'VOICE', and in 'DEATH'S GAME'.

ALSO, he has a very special place in my heart. Way back when, Tumblr used to be a fun place for online RP. I had an amazing RP partner that used his beautiful face as an FC for a very fun character. I don't remember his name too much. If I remember it, I'll come back and edit it in, but... still... That particular character was villain-ous. lol

My Nickname For Him: 'That Character's Name!' ... I'll find it...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#8

Park Hyung Sik

This man is just adorable AF. He's fun to watch in most of the series/dramas he's in, and my favorite performance of his was in the series 'Happiness'. Despite him being a favorite, a lot of the stuff he's in is ... not really a personal favorite, [save for 'Happiness' which I really liked.] but his acting is always a breath of fresh air. Like I said, he's fun to watch on screen, even when the writing is bad. lol

My Nicknames For Him: The Cute One

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#7

Yoo Seung Ho

Just like Park Hyung Sik, this man is adorable and very fun to watch, but sometimes the stuff he's in is... not so great. However, he is great, and I have yet to watch him in Warrior Baek Dong Soo. I hear that was a great performance of his. Honestly, all his performances are great. Also, his eyes are a thing that keeps me glued to the screen. He's just beautiful.

Anyway... Favorite. I always enjoy watching him on screen, even if the stuff he's in has insanely terrible writing.

My Nickname's For Him: Jingoo's Older Brother [yeah Yeo Jin Goo, no they're not related... but still.], Yesung part 2, Orange Blossom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#6

Yoo Ah In

Another top performer, and reason why I'll stay and watch something. Despite all that bullshit controversy going on about drugs and this man [I would go off tangent and explain why I don't give a fuck when actresses or actors end up being junkies. That's their choice and their body. It's something they have to fight with.] , I still find it very fulfilling to watch him on screen. He's very very good at what he does, and well... You know he's also very easy on MY EYES. lol

Whatever the case, I thank that lady Song Hye Kyo, for being his friend and sticking with him through thick and thin and helping him out as the friend that she is. I hope he gets the help he needs and is able to come back to acting. I know it won't be unscathed, because South Korean audiences are very harsh on drug accusations [in which they should be harsher on GRAPE accusations, but go figure. They're very ass backwards. I won't get into it. That's all I'm saying.] , but me personally, I'll be waiting patiently for him to return.

Hope to see him in more new performances. In the meantime, I'll continue to watch what he's been in.

My Nicknames For Him: Hottie, Mr. Chicago Typewriter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#5

Steven Yeun

GLENNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... you know... Because yes. Also, he's great, overall. He's got a charm that just keeps me watching every time he's in anything. He's one of the reasons I continued to watch 'The Walking Dead' for as long as I did. Him and Michone, but that's another story for another time.

Why is he in this list, if he's mostly in Western productions? Actually, no. He was in a few South Korean productions as well, and he was great in them. Hell, he even did a variety show in South Korea and was adorable in it. So... THERE. lol.

My Nicknames For Him: The only reason I liked 'The Walking Dead', lol... Well that's not a nickname, but that's what always comes to my mind when I see him. Him and Michone were EVERYTHING to me. Aka- GLENN.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#4

Lee Do Hyun

The first time I saw this dude was in 'Hotel Del Luna'. And I thought he was great, not gonna lie. Unfortunately, at that time, someone else had grabbed my attention. However, fastforward to a lot of performances later, including 'Exhuma' where he was superb! and I realized that this man is AMAZINg. Also, he played Shin Ha Kyun's younger self in 'Beyond Evil'. So technically he's Lee DongSik Too! How much better can we get?

That aside he's super talented. And of the new boys that are usually in Top 10s, he's the only one that made it on mine. Also, he will forever be Baby! Shin Ha Kyun to me, because I believe he can achieve such heights as an actor.

My Nicknames For Him: Baby!HaKyun [yeah... Shin Ha Kyun]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#3

Shin Ha Kyun

........... I don't think I need to explain WHY, this man is in this list? Or do I? If I do, just know this, he's nicknamed 'The GOD of Acting' by his fellow South Koreans. So.......... Yeah. Either way, and God of acting nickname aside, he lives up to that expectation all the time. No matter what character he's playing, he always puts his soul into it. I love that about him.

My Nicknames For Him: My Husband, The MOOD, My Twin [Gemini Twin]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#2

Doh Kyung Soo

.... Listen... Idol actors get a lot of shit when they decide to go into acting, because they're often accused of being BAD at acting. Kyungsoo, is one of those that has surprised audiences with his acting. And honestly, I feel it. I have seen most of everything he's been in [save for that one series with Zo In Sung], and I gotta say, I loved the performances through and through. Whether he was playing a high school kid with problems, and or a crazy prosecutor, and or an astronaut stranded on the moon. The feeling has been there the whole time, as well as the SOUL. This man, knows how to act, he was born for it. And of the many many MANY idol actors out there doing their thing, he's in my opinion, THE BEST of the BEST.

THE END...

Also helps that he's one of my top favorites, but that's another story for another time.

My Nicknames For Him: Baby Boy, el Ojon ['big eyes' this one from my mom too, cause that's what she calls him, and that's how she knows we're gonna see him on screen.] , Crayon Shin Chan, Baby! Ranier, itty bitty KyungSoo, [too many to be honest... I come up with nicknames every other Friday. Stay Tuned... lol.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Honorable Mentions:

Ji Sung

This man came into my radar, thanks to 'The Devil Judge'. I have yet to sit down and see him in more things. The only other series I have seen him in is 'Adamas', and I gotta say, it was very fun time. I'm not gonna lie that I chose to watch him because I don't mind watching him on screen. He's absolute eye candy in every sense of the damn word.

However... I hope that as I keep trying to watch stuff he's been in or is in 'currently', I can appreciate his acting more.

My Nicknames For Him: Kang YoHan [I know that's a character he played, but that's all I see when I see him... I KNOW, I need to see more.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seo Ji Hoon

I'm not gonna lie... I had seen this kid in other series, and he did kind of grabbed my attention. However, the stories were so good, I was actually invested in the stories [ie. 'Revenge of Others', 'Meow The Secret Boy']. However, enter 'Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency' and... That was it. I immediately remembered his face from the previous stories/series and how in those series, he was the one that had caught my attention. Then here in this series Marriage Agency... I was SOLD.

This beautiful man is up and coming, true. So I'm waiting patiently for him to get more 'STARRING' roles. He's only gotten a few. He has yet to have that one HIT that catapults him to getting even more attention. However, with what he's done, he's done enough for me to pay attention. He's good, and he was so good, that in Marriage Agency, he managed to get my attention, when that series features some of the most beautiful men South Korea has to offer. Shout out to the other Jihoon, he's beautiful too.

Either way... This kid is on my radar. I can't wait to see more of him and determine WHERE in this list he fits. Will he be Top 10? or Top 20? We'll see.

My Nicknames For Him: Baby King! [he's a little itty bitty king... no of course he's not... he's way taller than probably most of the dudes I have here on this list. lol. But still... He's so baby faced. That's all I think about when I see him.]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Park Ji Hoon

Ok, so the same thing that happened with Seo Jihoon, happened to me with this Jihoon. He's Park Jihoon. So the first time I saw him was in 'Flower Crew: Joseon Marriage Agency'. I did take notice at how pretty and cute he was. I mean, this freakin series had some very beautiful people in it and I did notice. However, the Jihoon that caught my attention there was Seo Jihoon. Fastforward to a few months later and me watching 'Weak Hero Class 1' and I lost it. I remembered who this kid was, and I remembered where I had seen him. He is amazing in this series, so now I'm a little lost in the rabbit hole. I am currently going through his list of works. It's not that big, so I feel like I'm almost over. Currently and at the time I'm about to post this, I have started 'At a Distance Spring is Green', and I gotta say, he's adorable and he's entertaining to watch.

We'll see in the future, where he ends up in the list. Will he be Top 10? or Top 20? I will figure it out eventually. In the meantime, I also love watching him in variety shows and doing that cute gesture with his hands. You know the one....

My Nicknames For Him: THE EYES [no yeah for real. That's what comes to mind when I see him. lol.] , Tiny Boy [it fits him cause I believe he's the youngest in this list.] , Baby Tiger, My Son, and lately I realized he's 'LITTLE RED' my OC. Like seriously, fits like a glove.

KAI [Kim Jong In]

Just like the photo above, I've been sleeping on Kim JongIn as an actor. And I not only blame myself, but also blame my love for watching him as a performer/singer better than an actor. I have never given him a chance as an actor. I am aware that he has done a few series, and the bits and pieces I have seen I have liked a lot.

I feel I need to give myself the time to watch him in these and then figure out where in the list he will end up. Either way, he's an honorable mention because even when I'm not watching him in acting action, I am always watching him in dancing and performing action, so.... yeh...

My Nicknames For Him: Art In Motion, Baby Nini, Tedi Bear, El Sexy Boy, Bolita de Algodon [little ball of fluff], The CAT Boy[alternately 'Omi in RL']

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#1

YEO JIN GOO

You saw this coming, right? Either you did or didn't, but you should know by now. This man took me by the horns and hasn't let me go yet. Listen....Might as well be the devil here and say, yes this man makes me feel things every time I see him acting. Whether he's playing a robot, a hotel manager, a disgruntled king, it doesn't matter. He puts so much soul into whatever he does, that it makes me feel like I am there experiencing what the character is experiencing.

He has a long history, which has been amazing to look through. And honestly, up to this day, I still haven't watched everything he's ever been in. He has an extensive list of works that he's been part of, and his participation in each project has, honestly, always stood out to me. At least in the projects/series/dramas I've been able to see.

Thank you, Yeo Jin Goo, for sharing your insane acting talent with all of us. I consider myself lucky to be alive in this era, and to be able to witness this. Greatly appreciated. Hope to be able to live long enough to see you thrive for many many years.

His Best Characters [Top 5]:

Gu Chan Seong [Hotel Del Luna]

King YiHeon & Ha Sun [The Man Who Became King]

Han JooWon [Beyond Evil]

Hwayi [Hwayi: A Monster Boy]

King Gwanghae [Warriors of The Dawn]

My Nicknames For Him: Baby Child, Peach, and KaiSoo Love Child.

And that's it... Are any of your faves in this Top 10, or are they honorable mentions? Either way, these are MINE. If I made a video about it, these are the men it would feature.

Maybe later on I'll make the Female actress version. That one would be really hard, because I absolutely LOVE the female actresses more than I do the male actors. And I have tons of faves.

However... I'll try to make the effort to do it eventually. Don't know when.

Anyway... Hope you enjoyed this post, if you read it all.

[infinit-world]

Golden Wings

Pairing: Wednesday Addams X Reader

Word count: 2.34k

Summary: You're a new student at Nevermore. What happens when you get involved with Wednesday's stalker mistery?

Hello. First time writing for Wednesday so she's probably OOC here. Like always, if you see a mistake, please let me know.

A/N I have used the look of the Dark Faes of Maleficent 2 for the story (Picture here) The story happens after season 1 of Wednesday. Everything happened the same except Weems death.

You welcome the cold feeling of the stones in your wings. You’re facing the quad, your back pressed to the wall as much as you can, trying to avoid contact with other students. It’s the first day of the semester at Nevermore, and your first year here. After the defeat of Crackstone, the school got a bigger reputation among the outcast, making it more crowded than before. You feel the looks that some students give you, whispering among themselves. You can’t blame them, it’s not every day that they see a Fae between them.

Your kind tends to stay reclusive, just interacting with yourselves. It’s been like this for a while. You’re one of the oldest types of outcasts that exists, and one of the most dangered. Your ancestors were persecuted before the others, being an easy target because of your appearance. Your wings and horns always made normies uncomfortable, and your powers on the elements caused fear. They would call you Demons, using that pathetic excuse to kill you all.

Nowadays, just a few of you survive, living in small packs. In the north, the Tundra Fae, white-winged humans that can control the weather. In the south, the Desert and the Jungle Fae. They both can speak with animals but their appearance is different. While the Desert have light brown and black feathers, the Jungle Fae have very colourful ones. In the west, the Forest Fae, the smallest pack. Their wings tend to be dark brown and they can control plants.

You’re a bit different though, your parents were a Forest and a Desert Faes, so your wings and powers are mixed. Your feathers are different tonalities of brown. From a very dark one, to an almost sand-like colour that when hit by sunlight becomes golden, and your horns are tall and twisted, like black tree roots.

You listen to director Weems’ speech, welcoming all the new students, before grabbing your class schedule and your dorm key from a teacher. Ophelia Hall, room 45, tells you before going away. You look everywhere, trying to find the way to your room. You ask for directions in the main hall, but it’s packed with noisy students making it impossible for you to understand them.

You wander a little bit, trying to find the way on your own, when a student stops you with a hand on your shoulder. “Hi, I’m Enid! You look like a lost puppy. Need help finding your dorm?” A tall blonde asks you. She has a bright smile on her face, jumping on her toes from excitement. “Yes please.” She starts walking to your dorm, you by her side. “OMG. I’m sooo excited for this year! You’re a Fae right? I’ve never met one before! How come you’re here? Not that I don’t want you here is just that I’m curious. You are a quiet one, aren’t you? Sorry, I know I can be a little overwhelming, my roommate always tells me I talk too much.” She says without breathing, giving you an apologetic smile. You have yet to speak, looking at her with widened eyes.

You arrive at your dorm, opening the door and letting Enid inside. It’s small, with just a single bed, a small closet and a desk. “An individual room. How lucky! I have to go now, I will see you around.” You sigh when the door closes, a little bit tired. You unpack your things, happy that you don’t have to share a room with anyone, and decide to rest on your bed for a little before grabbing dinner.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, you go to your first class. You sit at the back, not wanting to draw attention. You’re doodling in your notebook when Enid comes to you. “Hi!” “Hi Enid” “I’m happy to see you here! Also, I forgot to ask your name yesterday.” You look at her before telling her your name. She starts rambling about how you are going to have most of the classes together when the professor enters and Enid is forced to go to her table. Just as he was going to introduce himself, a short ravenette girl enters. She mutters an apology before searching for an empty seat. The seat next to yours being the only one free.

You look at her in silence. Her skin is pale, her face dotted with cute freckles around her nose. You can see she has a little bit of dirt on her cheek. Before you can continue gawking at her, she looks at you with a murderous look “What?” “Oh, nothing! You just have a little bit of dirt on your cheek.” You stutter before paying attention to class.

You spend the rest of the class in silence, taking notes and muttering under your breath the answers to the questions. Just before the class ends, the teacher announces you will need to do a group project for the next week. Everyone gets excited and starts to choose their partners. You look around the class, trying to find someone to join.

“Howdy roomie!” “Enid, don’t” The ravenette says with a warning tone. “Oh come on Wednesday! You have to do the project like everyone else.” “I prefer jumping from our balcony than wasting my time working with these poor excuse of humans” “Well if you say so, but I thought you wanted to keep your academic record perfect.” Enid says with a grin. You see how Wednesday slumps for a second, before going back to her stoic pose. “Fine, but I won’t take responsibility for my future actions” “Don’t worry, it’s just me, Yoko and Divina. You can join too if you want” Enid says to you. “Thanks” You give her a little smile before grabbing your backpack and following them out.

You meet Yoko and Divina in your next class. They’re nice, and you think you can become friends easily. They don’t really mind that you don’t talk a lot, so you feel comfortable just hearing them talk and humming from time to time to let them know you’re listening.

They invite you to seat at their table for lunch. After grabbing the food, you go to the quad, seeing that Wednesday and Enid are already seated at the table with other people. “Guys, this is Y/N, she’s a new student. Y/N, these are Bianca, Ajax, Xavier and Eugene.” Divina says before taking a seat. You give them a little wave and a smile. “Can I ask something?” You ask looking at the group. All of them, except Wednesday, look at you and nod “I thought you would sit with your own kind? Don’t get me wrong, is nice to see you interact with others. It’s not like that for us.” “We used to spend most of our time with our own, but after what happened last year, we all became closer.” You nod and start eating, their conversations going to the back of your mind, when Enid’s question grabs your attention. 

“Oh, Wednesday! I forgot to ask you before! Where were you this morning? You usually don’t get late for class” “I went to the forest to try and find a clue on the stalker” She says in her usual monotone. Well, that explains the dirt on her cheek, you think before realising what she just said “Wait, what? You have a stalker?” She gives you a deadpan look “Yes” “How can you be so chill about it?” “It’s thrilling actually. The school would be boring without a mystery to solve” Enid grimaces “Wednesday, I think we all had enough mysteries last year. I still think you should tell Weems about it.” 

She’s going to retort when Bianca speaks, trying to change the topic. “So Y/N, why you decided to come here?” “Oh well, after the incident with Crackstone, some Faes thought it would be good if we start interacting more with other outcasts, but they’re still afraid of normies. I decided coming here was a good start. I could show them that it’s not that bad.” You answer rubbing your neck. They ask you a few questions about Faes before you all finish your food and go back to class.

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After dinner, you find yourself in the greenhouse again. You’ve been coming here every day for the three weeks you’ve been in Nevermore. You love feeling the power of the plants surrounding you thrumming through your veins, it makes you feel as if you were back home. You’re lost in your thoughts when you hear the door open. 

Getting up from the floor, you walk to the entrance, where you see Wednesday with Thing perched on her shoulder. “Wednesday? What are you doing here?” “I need your help in the woods.” You make a confused face. It’s true that during these past weeks, you’ve become close with all of them, especially with the girls (While working on the project, you bonded). But, you and Wednesday haven't had a lot of interactions. You’re both quiet and she’s very reserved, even more so than you, so you thought that if she needed help she would ask Enid or Bianca, not you.

“What happened?” “The stalker is getting more aggressive. They started to threaten the group, including you, and I haven’t been able to find anything about them.” She says with an exasperated tone. This is the most emotion you've seen her express, which lets you know it’s a serious matter. “Ok, what do you need me to do?” “They have been sending me these photos.” 

She gives you her phone, where you can see a bunch of photos of her with your friends. The latest one is of her, Enid, Bianca and you returning from Jericho. “It’s from this evening. They had to make it from the forest near the road. Maybe there’s a footprint or something that I can use to track them.” “Have you tried tracking the phone where the messages were sent?” “Of course Y/N. I’m not a rookie. They use a burner phone.” You raise your hands in surrender after seeing her murderous look. “Ok, ok. I was just saying. I will help you, but why me? Why not Enid?” 

She walks out, looking back at you “Come on, we don’t have the whole night.” You follow her to the woods in silence, waiting for an answer. “After what happened last year, I’m not taking any chances. I don’t know what is the stalker, and I don’t want to put them in any more danger. You are stronger in nature. If they decide to attack us tonight, I know you can protect yourself.” “So you only chose me because of my powers?” You ask a little upset, feeling like she’s just using you. She sights, stopping before looking at your eyes. “You are extremely intelligent Y/N. I heard you in class, you know all the answers. So no, I haven’t chosen you just because of your powers. Now, can we stop this sentimentalism and focus on our task at hand?” She starts walking again without waiting for an answer.

The rest of the way, you two walk in silence, alert for any suspicious sound. When you arrive at the point where you think the photo was taken, you split to try and find a clue. The ground is uneven and full of rocks, making it hard to walk without tripping over. The rain from these past days makes the rocks slippery, and you almost fall a couple of times before something catches your attention. “Wednesday! I have something.” “In one of the rocks, there are three fine scratches. “Claws. Your stalker is a werewolf.” You say with a little smile. “They probably tripped and used their claws to hold themselves.”

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It’s been a month since that night. You’ve been helping Wednesday as much as you can with the stalker, whether it’s analyzing the photos for any pattern, looking around the school for anyone suspicious or covering her when she decides to leave school. But since that night, you haven’t been able to discover anything else. You just know that they’re a werewolf, and a student at Nevermore.

You two don’t talk that much, preferring to work in a comfortable silence, but spending so much time at her dorm has helped you know a part of her that she usually doesn’t let other people see (like how she interacts with Enid, she’s way softer with her when the door is closed), and you can’t help but start to feel warm when you think about her. Unbeknownst to you, Wednesday’s feeling a similar way. She trusts you completely, which is rare for her. But she knows you wouldn’t cross any boundaries with her. She likes that you give her space when she needs it, and you always try to make her feel comfortable.

You’re in her room when she receives a new message from the stalker. You see how her eyebrows furrow when she reads it. “What is it? It’s another photo?” You ask worried when Wednesday doesn’t say anything. “No, they want me to go to the woods at midnight.” “They told you why?” “They want to make this ‘game’ more interesting. They will leave a clue in there for me.” “Well, I suppose I will meet you in the greenhouse tonight then.” “No. They want me to go alone. If they see someone with me, they won’t leave the clue.” “What? You can’t be serious right now Wednesday. It could be a trap! I’m not letting you go alone.” “I won’t, Thing will follow me. If I’m in danger, he will help me.” You sight, knowing you can’t change her mind. “Fine, but I will be awake in my dorm just in case you need me.”

You go to your dorm after that. You lay on your bed, disconnecting the phone from the charger, and see the screen flash with a new notification.

Unknown 16:30

The bait is ready

You reply quickly before turning it off.

Be careful, Thing will be with her