#i cut out some of the PEEPEES

[thatshadowcomic]

Year of shadow is almost over and I never drew my year of the dragon x fearless year of shadow art :(

He should ride a dragon. 🐉🦔

Also he's a metal rabbit. That's sick.

Sonic is an earth dragon. Even sicker.

Hahahahha it's the wood dragon year hahaha I can make a peepee wood joke

Some more yapping for those with Sonadow brainrot, under the cut 👇

Shadow, 1951 metal rabbit:

"The Metal Rabbit is a very talented and determined person who has very explicit views on what they want to get out of life and how they want to achieve them. They can occasionally seem quite reserved but this is mainly because they like to keep their thoughts to themselves and would benefit from expressing their feelings more to their friends and family from time to time."

But Sonic is (possibly) an earth dragon, 1988

According to the Earth Dragon Chinese zodiac, they have a very high value with always something interesting to say. They are always energetic and prepared to work long. Sometimes they are quite impulsive which leads them to do things whose consequences they did not think of. So, the 1988 Chinese zodiac element advises them to keep their decisions in check, and before taking any decision, consult with others.

The Dragon can be quite mocking of other people’s advice and will always rely on their own judgment, says the Earth Dragon Chinese zodiac. They love to feel self-sufficient and cherish their independence. Sometimes they cherish it so much that they prefer to remain single throughout their lives.

Tbh, I feel like Sonic doesn't actually talk and party like his reputation would suggest. I always saw him as someone that prefers his alone time in nature. He gets social in small bursts, or ramped up or excited, but he's not as absentminded as he lets on...in fact, he's always thinking and analyzing the world around him.

In all honesty,

I don't believe in any star stuff or fates, but I think it's fun when things line up. If you're more knowledgeable, feel free to correct me ig.

Idk, it makes me wanna explore the characters through another lense and ask stuff like "what does being 'quiet' actually mean? Is it talking, or voicing an option? Or maybe it's internal thoughts and feelings? Could feelings deep inside count as talking? Is thinking talking??"

I'm basing Sonic's birth year on Sonic heroes (2003) the first time I became aware of their ages, with sonic being 15 at the time. Shadow was created 50 years before sonic adventure 2 (2001) so 1951.

[emmyrosee]

EMMY MY DEAREST MY BABY MY BELOVED <333

could I be a bit greedy and make another teeny tiny request?? you don’t have to feel obligated to do it AT ALL if you don’t want to!!! I’ve just been having an interesting time lately and you do comfort so well ☹��

genuinely all I’ve wanted all week is to be babied a bit/taken care of/pampered/absolutely smothered with soft gentle affection by atsumu when he starts to notice I’m getting overwhelmed or burnt out :(

I think he’d be good at catching it before it gets too out of control and keeping me sane. he wouldn’t let me lift a finger and he’d be so over the top with his physical affection cuz he knows I love that 😕

I feel so bad bc I feel like I’ve been bugging you a lot lately so pls pls pls don’t feel like you have to!!! I completely understand, there’s no pressure 🫶🏻🫶🏻

anon <3

YOU HAVENT BUGGED ME IN LIKE. FOUR MONTHS HUSH YOUR CUTE FACE- EVEN IF YOU DID SEND ME ANYTHING RECENTLY, YOURE NOT A BOTHER AND I LOVE YOU 😠❤️

he catches it pretty much immediately, with how you were clinging to him a little bit more than usual last night, brows seemingly forever pinched in the middle of your head and your fingers fisting the collar of his night shirt. he didn't say anything, but he definitely makes a note to keep an eye on it.

especially when, the next morning, you turn to your side to let him get ready for practice, and you hike the blankets higher and screw your eyes shut to try and tune him out.

he sees this, and crawls his body back into bed, mind now only focusing on taking care of you before you drown.

"peepee-poopoo," he whispers, hanging his head upside down to look at you, his blonde hair hanging shaggily. "where's my fighty baby this morning, hmm?"

you shrug and avoid his eyes, and pulls his head back to take this more seriously, "c'mere. come talk to me."

"you have to go-"

"i don't have to do a thing," he assures. he's quick to take out his phone and text coach that he's not going to make it, but he doesn't tell you that because the last thing you need is worrying about him missing a day to care for you.

which is one of his favorite things to do- but you fight him on it constantly. and he hopes today you're compliant enough to let him be here for you.

"do you want to talk about it?" he asks, gently rubbing his knuckles over your shoulder, and when you shake your head, he leans over your body again to kiss your cheek. "okay," he whispers, lingering for a minute before pulling back to head to the kitchen to make you breakfast.

breakfast, that was supposed to be in bed, but you worked up the courage to wade into the kitchen not long after him. "hey-" you begin, but you're cut off by the yelp from his lips and the dropping of an egg square to the floor, which you both look at blankly.

he starts to snicker, "whups."

"sorry."

he clicks his tongue, "shut up- come get a kiss," he says, stepping over the egg and pulling you into a hug, and his shoulders relax when you loosen in his arms. he sponges kisses to the crown of your head, "don't ever be sorry for something i did. it wasnt your fault."

you immediately tense back up, and atsumu knows his hit the nail on the head with it, and you burrow your face deeper into his chest and he tightens his grip on you to keep you grounded. "go back to bed," he soothes. "im with you today-"

"i dont want to be so far from you," you say, and he smiles as you dont put up an argument, dont scold him for staying, but his heart sinks slightly at the idea that youre so in your head all you can think about is him right now. "not today. can i stay?"

"id be bummed if you didn't," he says. he smirks and scoops you in his massive arms, relishing in the giggles you let you as he carries you and sets you on the counter, where he then feeds you slices of fruit while your eggs sear on the oven. he feeds you breakfast bite for bite, placing a straw in some water for you to drink before carrying you to the bathroom, where he tells you to brush your teeth.

you get shy, "can... do you think... maybe-"

"yeah," he smiles. "open up, babe."

he brushes your teeth, sure to get all the areas the dentist warns him about, before pulling back with a happy sigh and holding out his hand.

you quirk a brow, "what?"

"spit it into my hand."

"ew!" you laugh, and god it truly is his favorite sound, and you turn your head to spit the froth in the sink. "youre nasty."

"and you picked me first. too late to question your choice."

"yet i do every day."

"little fucker," he snickers, and when he makes a move to tickle you, you dart away, laughter ringing in the air as he barrels down after you, down the hall and into the bedroom, where he tackles you onto the bed. "i made you breakfast and this is the thanks i get?" he sighs, playfully punching your tummy, successfully dodging your hands to try and still his barely touching fists.

"l-learn from osamu," you manage, and his jaw slacks at your audacity while you giggle more in anticipation.

"you're annoying," he snorts, leaning down to nibble your ear and neck while his fingers spider up your sides, you shriek and shove his shoulders weakly. he stops and kisses the rest of the giggles from your lips, and he hums when you wrap your arms around his neck. when he pulls away, you mewl and tug him closer. he shushes you easily, "not going anywhere babydoll, i promise."

and he doesn't. he doesn't go anywhere, merely rolling you both onto your sides where he cradles you close, cupping the back of your head protectively as you burrow into him.

every now and then, he feels your shoulders tense up and quiver, as if you're fighting tears, but he doesn't make you say anything. not until you're ready to.

and when you are, he's there, his thumb gently stroking the back of your head while your tears soak into his shirt. he shushes you softly when your cries turn to sobs, or your breathing picks up too much for his comfort.

he reminds you he's not going anywhere, ever, he's got your back no matter what, and if it takes one day or fifteen, he's more than happy to stay in that bed, brush your teeth, feed you food, anything to keep you from drowning in your own anxieties and thoughts.

"thank you for telling me," he whispers every now and again. "im so proud of you."

"im so tired, atsumu... i don't know what to do anymore."

he screws his eyes shut as your voice cracks, "you're doing great, angel. keep doing what you're doing, because its your best, and its more than enough. and i'm sorry the world hasn't let you think it has been.

"you're more than enough. please keep going for me, okay?"

"okay..."

"I love you."

"I love you too atsu..."

[daisyofwaterdeep]

Hey, I know you have a lot of asks, so please take your time (just if you're interested in this at all) but I have to get some thoughts out of my head. In the Rolan piss thoughts you mentioned making him piss inside his partner after sex. And now I'm imagining a scenario kinda similar to the story where Rolan wets himself. Tav is visiting and he wants to get all his work done before and refuses to take a break. then things get physical and he just forgets about his full bladder because he's so excited and absolutely does not want to stop. But when he cums and his body relaxes he just can't hold it anymore. And he's really embarrassed of course, I just love seeing him embarrassed (sorry Rolan)

(dennis reynolds voice) the piss kinksters are out tonight, huh?

CW for piss, pissing inside, tickling, embarrassment, vaginal sex, overstimulation

Rolan/femcis!Reader

~~

"Gods," Rolan breathes, cock still twitching as his tensed body slowly relaxes on top of you, "Gods, that was..."

"Amazing?" You provide with a dopey, fucked-out smile, "Spectacular? The best you've ever had?"

You expect to get a laugh out of Rolan, but instead, he looks down at you, eyes adoring. "That was everything to me."

Even with the immediate edge of lust out of your systems, the kiss you share is just as passionate as before your clothes came off. You smile against his lips, scratching your nails softly against his scalp as he sighs happily into your mouth.

You're intent to stay in bed like this for the rest of the evening, making out and fucking the wizard until the both of you pass out, and by the way his cock jerks when you nip at his bottom lip, you're pretty sure he's game too.

But then he pulls away, the weight of him shifting off of you. You let out a displeased whine and quickly wrap your legs around his waist. He chuckles at that and places a kiss to your forehead.

"I'll only be a moment--"

"No," you shoot back immediately, only half-joking, "Don't leave meeee..."

He tries to wiggle free of your grasp, but you hold on tight, grinning up at him as you grind your hips against his cock, still buried deep within you. He hisses between his teeth before kissing you again.

"Please," He begs, a hint of exasperation creeping into his voice.

You feel a little bad that he seems to be getting annoyed, but you just can't help yourself. He's so damn cute when he's frustrated.

"Where are you going?" You ask the question sweetly, batting your eyes at him, even as your hips continue to fuck yourself on his softening, overstimulated cock.

"Gods..."Rolan reaches down and grabs your hip, pinning it against the bed. "S-stop moving..."

"Then tell meeeee."

"I have to..." He purses his lips and averts his eyes, "You know."

"I don't know." You answer honestly, wondering what's got him acting shy all of a sudden.

Rolan huffs and presses a kiss to your cheek before trying to hoist himself up again, to no avail, "My bladder is killing me."

The fact that he was bashful about saying he needs to use the restroom tickles you to no end. His cock's in you but he's nervous about saying he needs to piss...it's so weirdly endearing and such a Rolan thing to do.

"You need to peepee, Rolan?" You say, voice obnoxiously cutesie, "My sweet little Rolan needs to take a tinkle?"

"Shut up," He groans his distaste but it dissolves into a laugh as you tickle his sides. "W-wait, don't--!"

"What's the matter, little Rolan?" You tease, still in that same ridiculous tone, "I thought you were leavinnnng."

"S-stop!" He chokes out breathlessly around another laugh, "You'll m-make me piss the bed!"

"Don't you dare make a mess in the bed!" You scold playfully, though your fingers continue their assault of his ribs, "You're a big boy, so use the potty!"

"S-Stop, please--!"

His laugh is cut off suddenly and you feel his entire body stiffen. The abrupt change in demeanor makes you pause and look up at him. He looks mortified.

"...Rolan?"

He clenches his eyes shut and shakes his head jerkily.

You try to sit up a bit and accidentally clench around his cock. Rolan wheezes out a hurt noise and grabs your shoulder, eyes still closed.

"Don't...just stay..." He's struggling to get every word out through gritted teeth.

Worry begins to bloom cold and brittle in your chest. "Are you hurt? Did I do something wrong?"

"No." He says the word curtly, but then his eyebrows shift, turning his expression into one of despair, "Oh Gods, I can't believe..."

"Rolan," You brush a hand over his cheek but he shies away from it, "Talk to me. What's going on?"

"I...just a little..."

You think you understand what just happened and feel a blush of your own creeping up your neck, even as an inkling of curious desire electrifies your chest.

It's diabolical, but you clench yourself around him again, coaxing his cock deeper into your wet heat. Rolan gasps and tries pulling away again, but you hold onto him firmly.

"S-stop, this isn't funny anymore--" Rolan splutters out, voice a near whine, "I really have to go--"

"I'm not trying to be funny." You let your arousal drip from your voice, hands running soothingly over his ridged spine, "I want you to go."

Rolan's eyes flutter open, his brow still knit in desperation as he looks down at you pleadingly, "Then please...move your legs."

"I don't think you're understanding me, Rolan." You pet your hand over his cheek, suddenly feeling nervous with the perverse thing you're proposing. "I want you to stay here with me...and I want you to go."

Realization dawns across Rolan's face, his mouth going slack before he adamantly shakes his head.

"No. No, no. I can't--"

"You can." You run your finger over his lip, "For me. Please?"

Rolan looks absolutely torn, and you don't help matters when you begin to rhythmically clench your pussy around him. He chokes out a groan and looks despairingly into your eyes, wanting to give you what you want but also embarrassed to no end.

"It's okay, Rolan." You say, voice a soothing whisper as you continue rubbing his back, "Let go for me, darling...just let go..."

Rolan jolts and grimaces as you feel a hot burst of warmth deep inside you. At first you think it's him giving in, but then he stiffens his body again and the sensation stops. The poor boy is fighting it so hard, and his bladder must be aching so much...his control is slipping by the second.

You decide to give him one final push.

"Fuck," You moan out the word, your pussy quivering and pulsing around his cock as you roll your body against his, "That's it, Rolan-- fill me up, please, fill me--"

Rolan's body trembles as he lets out a noise that nearly sounds like a sob, and you feel another blossom of heat deep inside you.

"That's it," You babble encouragingly, wrapping your arms around his neck to pull him closer, "I can feel it, ah-- feel it in me-- so good, so good to me..."

"Oh gods," Rolan looks blearily down at you, face equal parts shocked and relieved as his shaking body presses into you. "Oh gods, fuck--"

It's a feeling like none other. At first, you can sense the pressure of his stream beating against your walls, but it slowly diminishes as more fills you up, and all you can feel is the hot expansion of it inside of you. You can also feel Rolan's cock straining, the thick tendon on the underside flexing against your entrance as he releases into you, and the way it's starting to swell again, stretching you out along with him.

As much as Rolan was embarrassed, he's getting off to this. Knowing that fact, you begin to writhe under him, snapping your hips up into his as he shakes and groans. It's not long before his own hips start moving, fucking his piss into you. Small, whimpering pants leaving him like hiccups as glowing eyes bore into you, vulnerable and needy.

A particularly rough thrust has his urine squelching in you and leaking down your ass in burning rivulets. The wetness only makes the slapping of skin on skin louder, more pronounced, and Rolan seems spurred on by it, pointed teeth bared as he fucks you harder, faster, your insides churning and bloated.

"Filthy," Rolan groans, his hands slipping down to your hips as he sets into a brutal rhythm, "You like this? Like me fucking you full like this?"

Hearing Rolan hiss out those vulgar words makes your pussy clamp around him as your body spasms, your nails clawing at his back. You keen high in your throat as your orgasm rocks through you in blistering waves. Rolan's hips stutter before pressing into you with enough force to scoot you an inch up the bed.

"Cum for me," He nearly sobs, cock churning in you as he grinds his entire body against you, "That's it, fucking cum for me--"

His head falls beside you, his horn pressed against your cheek as he huffs and whines into the pillow. With adrenaline-jittery arms, you rub at his back as he trembles through his own orgasm.

It takes him a few moments, but he eventually collapses his weight on top of you and his cock finally slips free. You can feel the mess of urine and juices flowing from you and soaking the mattress.

"You're awful," He mumbles, voice muffled by the pillow, "I can't believe you made me do that."

You grab him by the horn and shake his head with a grin, "Oh come, now. You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

He turns his head and presses a lazy, sloppy kiss against your neck.

"Far more than I'd like to admit."

[postaldouche]

s2, ep10 I KNOW WHY THE CAGED BIRD KILLS continued! :3 sorry for the abrupt cut off yesterday/the day before! i got sad and decided to just be lazy lol also decided that i'd change the formatting a bit? i realize that there's this weird space between the images and text that just doesn't look all that ""aesthetically pleasing"" to the eyes eeek xc it looks evened-out BEFORE i hit post, which is strange but i won't question it. ANYWAYS! BACK TO THE EPISODE!

SO WE RE-OPEN WITH BROCK IN THE CAR WITH HELPER!!! it's the iconic ""jock rock"" argument-clip thing that EVERYONE has already gone over and spoken about, i personally don't care for it. everyone's already yapped their ears off about it and it'd just be somewhat stupid for me to point out and examine at this point. i've always found it cute that he decided to take helper with him in this episode. Brock's an "i ride solo" guy usually, but it's obvious he's warmed up to the family enough to accept SOME help (and also because Helper probably insisted.. either that or he just wanted company - like a cat that hates being alone lollll). also we don't get an incredible amount of brock content this episode siiigh. but we get him every other episode, so i could never complain (I GUESS).

i wasn't going to add the picture of him diving into the dumpster, because i didn't think it was silly enough but apparently you really get to see his barbie doll legs here so i said 'fuck it whatever' and added it in anyway lel

SO! Brock has a moment where he thinks the boys were really hurt/killed and ditched in a dumpster (because that's where the tracking - thingy lead him to). he's VERY relieved to see that he was, in fact, wrong and that it was just their wrist devices instead. he loves those boys to death ee >~<

he's too cute </3 my big blonde handsome pookie </33

AND THEN WE DISCOVER THAT MYRA'S BACK! and we get a silly brock face as a close up ^~^

he kind of looks like a frog here..

also the wrist devices were attached to a bomb! because myra is fucking insane!

he also survived the explosion??? which is weird all on it's own. again, rusty has a thing for blondes that are MENTAL. how she knew when to send the message(s)/detonate the bomb is beyond me. she's one freaky bitch, what can she say? i love her very much. BUT WHATEVERS! CUT TO THE BOYS! who are tied up inside of some dingy motel that myra brought them to.

my little chimpy boy.. his ears are always so fucking massive! four of them could easily make up the size of his entire head. he gets them from rusty, i suppose.

i really like this scene. easily second fav scene of ALL TIME. i imagine fri really liked this scene too. Hank is such a twat here.. just woke up and decided for ZERO reason to wake up Deans and annoy him. no initial panic, or questions, or stress. just a-- "eugh well isn't this new and different. (-︵-)" and that's IT. he's a terrible little boy. sometimes i feel like the fandom mistakes him for a golden retriever sweetie pants. HE IS a golden retriever. just an annoying one egehjehgehgghe that his unfortunate brother has to deal with blegggh

"i smell peepee" "well what're you looking at ME for??" (said immediately with a defensive tone and up-pitch in his voice bc he knows he's being accused of something)

"deeean.. did you get peepee scared again?"

(said in a way that's meant to provoke annoyance in dean because HE'S a little shit and loves to torment his brother)

"NO shut UP. (-`_´-)"

BEST GIRL MYRA ARRIVES AND IMMEDIATELY GETS ALL HANDS-ON WITH HANK!!! honestly the scenes with myra in this episode are some of my favorites in the whole show. i know they're played for laughs and gags but there's something about how totally fucked she is that i find compelling. i love her a lot. she's weird.

also kind of like how it's a thing for people to grab hank's face/cheeks and squish like nothing.

makes me really icked-out to see them (the boys, but also myra kind of) in this situation. feels eghghhghgghhh and weird. like a scenario that i PERSONALLY would love to be in, but under no circumstance would i want the boys involved in.

like stay away from my kids, yo >~< i love this freak show of a fucking woman. she's everything to me and her suits cool. she's also really sally-esque to me (i've mentioned this before but i feel the need to say it again. no one has ever spoken about it before i think). GONNA FINISH BATH THEN POST MORE!!! we have some henchmen stuff i like coming up so yaay! >3<

[papirouge]

Not here to debate with you about the ethics of abortion, but I don't think having a phobia of pregnancy is a moral failure. It's extremely harsh on your body and many women do suffer complications in childbirth. I don't know what pro lifers want people with pregnancy phobias to do. Like, do you guys want to forcibly impregnate them anyway to fulfill their WoManLy DuTiEs? Good luck making that work.

Besides, people who don't want kids shouldn't breed anyway.

There's a difference between a phobia and being straight up delusional and offensive.

To give you an example ; it's like people who have a phobia of sharks and say "their teeth are scary, I don't like their shape, their eyes, their wide mouth, etc" OK ✅

And those who are like : "sharks are disgusting creatures from hell and should all be killed" That's not ok, delusional and lowkey psychopathic.

Sorry but as a woman, i'm not going to let crazy self hating women mock and attack my biology out of their mental illness. That's not a phobia when you feel entitled to diss other humans being entire biology, with whom they were naturally born with. They're litterally calling innocent babies "sreeching gremlin" I DARE YOU to say that's not some sign of sociopathy.

And it wouldn't be so much annoying it it didn't came from the same crowd of so called "feminists" who pretend fighting for women to "love themselves in their natural state". Gurl, shut up, you HATE yourself and what your body can do. You'd rather mutilate yourself (while mocking TRA doing so to change gender) than life with a functioning reproductive system so much you're scare of getting pregnant. That's CRAZY and thats how bad as women removing their breast or moids cutting their peepees. I want people to start respecting their GOD GIVEN body for once and stop mutilating themselves over narcissism, fear, or "phobia".

At least redpiller moids have more legitimacy to mock women bodily functions because they don't have none, so they're not marking against their own side. It's crazy how on so many level redpiller moids are way more strategic, clever and cohesive in their train of thoughts compared to radfem. They hate women, and admit to only like *that part* for sex - but you'll NEVER.EVER hear them make fun of male biology like feminists do. Because they are way more protective of their gender rep than feminists are. Let that sink in.

And please, you guys need to stop with that borderline cumbrain creepy obsession with imagining people being out on the hunt to force preg women.... Beside rapists, NOBODY is forcing you to get pregnant. We are nobodies from the internet saying shit. The Handmaid's Tale is a BOOK. (I always found very ironic how the same radfem who made fun of Harry Potter stans are literally doing the same thing, making one (1) book storyline the fundamental basis of their world worldview - but I digress).

And no one is denying that pregnancy isn't hard on the body. By compelling people to have responsible and selective sex, pro lifers are more than anyone else conscious of how serious pregnancy is, and the toll it takes on the female body. However, maybe I would take a lil bit more your concern for complications related to pregnancy if pro choicers weren't constantly downplaying the health consequences of abortion and other (hormonal) birth control systems... It's funny how you'll act like pregnancy, a totally natural function our body was literally wired for, is violence against our body, but not....chemically or surgically violently halting a biological synchronicity to forcefully remove/expel body parts.... #abortionistmath

I feel like we're in a timeline where we're so far in the pendulum that went against the lalala glamorization of pregnancy (that's existed since a LOT of time tbh) that now it's trendy to HATE pregnancy, and pass it off as this traumatic almost torture experience that HAS to be avoided at any cost...

Me think many of you sound lowkey mentally ill (it's interesting you're talking about "phobia" because phobia are actual....illness that need to be cured lol That's not...a normal state of mind) and need to learn to be normal about pregnancy. I know I may sound harsh but I'm tired of grown adults getting offended over normal shit when they just need to see a psychologist lol

[age-of-play-i-say]

Daddy's Plush Replacement, pt. 2

I truly . . . this has gotten away from me, ummm, please blame @justpottytime, enjoy!

This is the best night of my life. My Daddy loves me so much.

I’ve been humping for forever, mesmerized and soft. Edging and plateuing and playing. Smelling Daddy’s shirt, the plushie cover on Teddie rubbing my nipples and winkie. I moan into Teddie’s neck, tangled in my own hair a little bit. I slow down my humpies, sit back on my knees and assess.

Teddie lay still, cock sprung free from beneath my belly.

Teddie was big. Bigger than Daddy. 

My walls twitch and I hear myself whine.

No one’s here to stop me or slow me down or make me be careful, I can do what I want,

I’m not a brat, but I am an opportunist.

First thing’s first. I pull back and stand up, pulling my shirt off and tossing it to the side, now only wearing socks. I snatch a sippy that looks full of a cranberry ginger ale, my favorite soda. My heart and pussy feel warm again at the most recent reminder of Daddy’s care.  

When I turn back to the bed, I find another. In another small basket on the side table is lube, a few toys, and some liberator towels. There's also a disc case, with a post-it labeled "For Tingles Only - Little or Big".

Curious, I load it into my DVD player Daddy set up for me, too little to wrangle the internet. I nearly fall back onto the daybed when Daddy's beautiful voice comes out of the speakers:

"Hi, Peanut. If you found this, you're probably still Little, which means you're indecisive but unbearably horny."

I nod to myself, trying not to get too embarrassed, overwhelmed by Daddy, despite his physical absence.

"Well, I figured I can help, since I'm so big and I know you so well!

"You have a few choices. You can use this audio, which is designed to get you off without having aaaany big thoughts whatsoever.

"First, tuck that liberator towel under Teddie's strap, just in case you get too excited."

I move to do it, feeling myself relax and drop into my body, taking instructions from Daddy with ease.

"The next two scenes you can skip to are videos for big kid tingles. One shows Daddy solo in our bed, talking about what I want to do with you, Peanut. It's very detailed.

"The other is a video at work, taken right after you told Daddy to pick up sippies with groceries after work. You called me 'Dada' during that voice memo, Peanut, and whewwww, it really made an impression."

I feel another sticky gush coat my thighs as I think of my Daddy, sweating and huffing in a stall, desperate and trying to stay quiet. 

All over me saying 'Dada'.

I get several ideas at once, but I shake them out of my head for now, staying fuzzy for Daddy.

"You can decide on videos later, Peanut, for now, grab the lube in the basket and coat Teddie's strap with it. Be generous, no matter how wet you already are."

Whining, my walls already stuttering, I apply a generous amount of lube to Teddie's thingy. I'm breathing hard, but I wait for Daddy.

"Good baby! Now take the leftovers and spread a little on your peepee. Give it an extra little tug for Daddy."

I do. Sparks fly behind my closed eyes. I'm alone, there's no need to be quiet, but I feel shy.

"Stay noisy, Little One. No need to hold in your pleasure.

"Now, crawl into Teddie's lap. . .

"Good, now sit - lightly! - on his big cock. I want your entrance pulsing around his tip. . . Does that feel sooo good baby? Teddie's gonna give you a big stretch so soon! Ohhh, baby, oh mm-"

Daddy cuts off unexpectedly, right as his instructions make me clench on Teddie's big tip. 

"Okay unh, ah, okay. Good Peanut. Daddy loves you so much. Okay. Sit up on your knees, relax all your tush and tummy muscles. Ready? Time to mount Teddie. Take your left hand to guide him in further. Your right should be attending to your hard little baby button in front. I'm gonna give you a moment to get settled. You're allowed to come whenever you feel it, okay Little one? Daddy trusts you. . .

"Now sit down on Teddie's cock. Good Baby."

I'm so tightly wound up. As soon as the rest of the strap slipped past my entrance, I started coming for the first time. Rocking my hips in tiny thrusts into my hand, two fingers barely grazing my throbbing little winkie, I see sparkles on the edge of my vision. I let my eyes cross and I stick my tongue out, right as I hear,

"I know it, Little One, I know it feels sooo good with Teddie filling you up. Come for Teddie, baby, come on–"

I explode, eyes closed and body and cunt quivering, milking Teddie's cock. He's so big and it feels so goooood, just like Daddy said. I still feel restless and I bring my hand back to my winkie.

I gasp. I'm still hard, still close somehow. I wrap my hand around my peepee and start polishing my flagpole the old-fashioned way. 

"I think you should try to come again, baby. You can grab a toy from the basket, or just rub your peepee for Dada. Keep rubbing, Little one, just rub and rub until it feels like you're gonna explode with all the tingles!

Teddie's big cock stretching me out, the plush pressing against my tush, my legs, my privates. I wriggled a bit, and the plush provided the tactile stimulation I needed to clamp down on Teddie's strap and start keening. I jerk back once, twice, before my vision whites out and I feel another, bigger gush rush out, wetness immediately drawn down into the towel. I come for so long, the keening cuts to silence because I simply run out of air.

I feel spent, happy, and wiggly. I'm satisfied. For now. Daddy's voice floats by again, more in control of himself this time. I smile thinking of Daddy getting all hard and humpy for his baby while trying to ensure my pleasure. 

"My good Peanut, I hope you had fun with this. I'm gonna wrap up here, but if you want to keep Teddie warm like you do for Daddy, by all means, please do. Love you, Peanut!" The audio scene ends and pauses automatically, screen blinking with the option to continue to the next scenes. If only I could reach the remote!

I smile and tip forward, lying on Teddie. I can really feel the stretch of his cock from this angle. Now his belly pressed in the cradle of my legs. His plush rubbed at my soft peepee, providing the perfect amount of ticklish friction. I laugh out loud, settling my head and torso on Daddy's shirt.

Feels like Dada's mustache on my baby button!

I giggle again, and the plush tickles my peepee more.

I feel so loved, happy and whole.

And relaxed. And sleepy.

Keep Teddie warm, Dada said so. My last coherent thought.

*(pee stuff after this break, some light diaper stuff, part 3 will be focused on mostly that, jsyk)*

I come to suddenly. I grab my phone to see a few hours have passed and Daddy has checked into his hotel and sent a few updates on his drive.

I think of him alone in that hotel room. Poor Daddy! At least I have Teddie and his cock to keep me company.

I roll my hips down to get some friction inside but get more than I bargained for when the plushie bear belly all around my winkie makes me squeak and gush.

I lean down to adjust the liberator towel to make sure no juices get on Teddie. He's such a clean boy. So handsome, too.

I look down to where Teddie has me speared on his cock. I grab my phone and throw out the kickstand on the bedside table. Wanna send Dada a treat, looks so tingly!

I hit record, lift Teddie's torso up to gather in my arms, and start grinding my hips back and forth and back and forth.

I'm so tight and so sensitive after my little snooze.

Sitting with Teddie's cock inside instead of riding changed his position - now his big cock head was rubbing relentlessly on my front wall.

I'm not gonna last! I realize. And reach behind the camera to pluck a small vibe out of the basket. I tuck in between my peepee and the plushie.

My eyes roll back and I start shaking immediately. My orgasm builds and builds until my eyes are closed again, orgasm building its way up my spine before my pussy clenches and I peak again, gasping and snapping my hips in Teddie’s lap.

I come down, taking note of how wet everything is underneath me. I try to catch my breath, checking the towel to make sure, and sure enough, the absorbent barrier held! I wrinkle my nose at the yucky smell, but I feel accomplished and silly.

I giggle, but it soon turns to a grimace.

Something still feels heavy in my pelvis, a bit sharp, like I need to come again. I had intended to stop the recording and keep warming Teddie, but as soon as I bounce my hips once more, I know that’s not in the cards.

My eyes fly open in recognition and I toss the vibe in the basket, knocking my phone sideways. I think of the potty corner and scrunch up my face, scrambling off Teddie with shaking legs.

The smell of my squirties wafts up from the saturated towel and my cheeks redden with a whimper. Those weren't all just cummies. I forgot I had slept a few hours and- I look around and find the empty sippy that held a full soda. No wonder my poor baby bladder is bursting! 

Using my big kid muscle, I just barely make it to the ground without leaks. 

Am I naughty? Wanna be good for Daddy.

“Am good! Am good baby! Didn’ know ‘bout potties - and Teddie’s all dry!” I reason with myself aloud, trying not to panic.

I had managed not to wet Teddie, as Daddy asked, but I could feel the pressure rising again, my poor bladder tired from the pounding it had just received. I grabbed at my baby parts, squealing when I made contact with my oversensitive little tdick.

A leak escaped, freely dribbling onto the carpet. My eyes find the basket of diapers and I press my thighs together, shuffling low and slow towards my corner in hopes I can make it to my relief.

[omo-goose]

Midnight Mishaps!

oc story under the cut bc it's longer than I thought lol

Paz woke up with a sudden jolt, both from bolting upright in his sleep, and from his suddenly very full bladder. He apparently had forgotten to go before he had headed to bed earlier, and now he sat there groggly trying to hold himself through the fabric of his blanket.

Shay shifted in bed beside him, awoken from the commotion.

“Hun? y'alright?” They mumbled sleepily

“mhm”

It took a moment for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting cast by the moonlight behind the curtains in their bedroom, and when they finally did, they could see their spouse half hunched with his hands between his legs with a look of sheepish embarrassment.

“uh okay m maybe not but um..” he half chuckled, then whimpered a bit as the pressure caused a small spurt to leak out.

Shay couldn’t help but give a small giggle in return. They had asked him if he’d gone before bed, but they suppose he hadn’t, evidently.

Paz blushed and whined, “Sh Shay um… I think mh maybe I need uh some help..”

“you gotta potty hun? I thought you went already” they said innocently.

He felt his cheeks grow hotter as his embarrassment grew, and much to Shay’s amusement, she could watch as something else began to grow in size.

The wet spot between his thighs began to spread as the telltale hissing soaked the blanket.

He moaned and leaned forward, trying to stop the flow, but Shay put their hand on his chest firmly, but gently.

“go ahead honey, go peepee, don’t hold it now” they whispered encouragingly.

He whimpered again as he tried to relax, feeling the warmth continue to spread and puddle around him on the oversaturated sheets.

“Good boy! Now you see why it’s important to potty before bed!” Shay cooed cheerfully

Paz just nodded as he layer in the warm wet blankets, feeling more tired than before.

“C’mon hun, I’ll get you cleaned right up and we’ll be back off to bed, right” they smiled at him fondly, stroking his cheek

[radioactiveradley]

PATHOLOGY OF THE URINARY SYSTEM (aka: STUFF WHAT GOES WRONG WITH YER PISS BEANS)

(AND YER PISS TUBES)

(and the pretty pictures I take of them)

[a warning: this post contains radiographic images and non-graphic description of serious kidney pathologies, including paediatric cancer]

Let's kick off with an old familiar friend! Yeah, I'm talking -

UROLITHIASIS (the humble kidney stone!)

Wanna know something horrific? The biggest kidney stone on record weighed over a kilogram. It was 17 cm across. Just. Imagine. Trying to piss that out…

Urolithiases are formed anywhere among your urinary tracts. They’re commonly found in the kidneys, giving rise to the more common term, renal calculi, or kidney stones.

Urolithiasis occurs when compounds within your urine crystallise. If your urine becomes too acidic, too base, contains too many of these compounds for them to remain in solution, or simply… sits around too long without flowing, it literally petrifies into a solid lump!

Some unlucky souls are just… predisposed to developing them. If you have had a kidney stone in the past, you are far more likely to get another one in the future. There also seems to be a genetic link – so if someone in your immediate family gets kidney stones, you have a higher risk.

Kidney stones typically hang out in the pelvis of your kidney and don’t cause an issue. Until you try to piss them out. Remember our kidney diagram (drawn on a conveniently shaped bean)?

You might notice that the ureters are significantly smaller than the renal pelvis. In other words…

Most renal calculi are made of CALCIUM (oxalate, usually). This is very, very good (for us. Less so for you) because calcium attenuates x-rays – meaning, it glows all pretty and shiny when we take a radiograph!

Here’s a kidney stone on an Abdominal X-Ray!

And a twinkly artefact caused by a kidney stone on Ultrasound!

But the best way to assess urolithiases, is, of course, with CT!

For realsies. We don’t need to inject contrast intravenously, because the kidney stones are (typically) shiny – which cuts down on time and worry, as it means you’re at no risk for having an adverse reaction! So a CT KUB (checking Kidneys, Ureters and Bladder for stones) is basically just a quick tumble in the washing machine (CT scanner), with a lovely clear picture as a result!

Look at these babies!! So sharp!!! So clear!!!!!! So shiny!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s a beautiful matching pair of renal calculi right there – and to make things better, they’re (currently) non-obstructive, so this patient isn’t in suffering The Agonies!

Speaking of The Agonies…

Most kidney stones are passable, albeit with extreme pain.

However, some ain’t going anywhere. Especially staghorn calculi, which, um. One, stags have antlers. Two…

more like a fuckin' MOOSE ANTLER amirite????

But yeah, those buggers aren’t coming out. That’s almost definitely going to require surgery!

Smaller calculi can still cause problems when they become obstructive – i.e., they block the passage of your peepee. They can lead to:

HYDRONEPHROSIS (dilation of the renal pelvis due to retained urine, seen here in the Left kidney [right side of image])

HYDROURETER (dilation of the ureter)

So, what do we do with bothersome calculi? How about some...

EXTRACORPOREAL SHOCKWAVE LITHOTRIPSY (ECSWL, because we love a sexy little acronym here in medworld).

We blast the stone apart with shockwaves, from outside your body! Ultrasound turned up to 11! Unfortunately, it only works on certain densities of stone, and on small stones.

LASER LITHOTRIPSY

(same thing but…. ZIP ZAP LASERZZZZZ]

SURGERY – PERCUTANEOUS NEPHROLITHOTOMY (PCNL).

(I totally haven’t added to this diagram in any way. This is how it works. Trust me.)

LOADS of other stuff can go wrong with The Ol’ Piss Beans

We have:

RENAL CELL CARCINOMA

The most common form of kidney cancer.

For suspected malignancies, we do a CT Urogram that assesses the whole urinary tract. This takes significantly longer than a KUB, but is well worth the results. This is a three-phase scan. We do...

A regular KUB non-contrast scan to check for calculi and to get our baseline Hounsfield Units ('grayness' and densities) for the kidneys. Then we inject contrast in a 'split bolus' - one load immediately, and another roughly 8 minutes in, scanning roughly a minute after the second injection is given. We scan 80 secs after the first contrast bolus is administrered, for the 'nephographic' phase, which enhances the renal cortex & medulla, and makes neoplastic changes and renal masses obvious (see image above). Then we wait 10-ish minutes and scan for the 'excretory' phase, after the contrast has worked its way through your kidneys, to detect 'filling defects' (anything that stops contrast opacification of the ureters) and pathologies related to the urinary collection system.

NEPHROBLASTOMA

This is one of the more common cancers found in kids. Although paediatric cancer is never exactly a happy topic, this cancer is now curable in roughly 90% of cases, thanks to the early removal of kidneys and the possibility of transplants.

Autosomal Dominant (and Recessive) Polycystic Kidney Disease

An inherited renal disease that can cause you to go into End Stage Renal Failure due to the healthy tissue in your kidneys becoming completely overtaken by cysts. As a result, your kidneys can grow more and more, until they practically fill your whole abdomen. 45% of patients will be in ESRF and need dialysis by the age of 60. Thankfully, transplants are an option.

Other commonly encounutered renal pathologies include trauma, which I talked about in my first kidney ramble (linked here!), infections, and more.

I hope you enjoyed this whistle-stop tour of Stuff That Can Go Wrong With The Kidney, And How We Look At Them Gnarly Beans!

....And, um, I spent way too long making this and now need to pee. This is your reminder to go empty that bladder if you need to! Stop those stones!

[pin-crusher2000]

1) In Earth 66, did Jake have a real bad encoder with Victor Zsasz which led to some trauma and pain he’ll never forget?

2) What are some movies that made the Young Titans cry their eyes out?

3) What are some nicknames Young Titans give each other as a defense mechanism if any of them got badly hurt?

4) if judged by Dragon Ball Power Levels, which of the Super Bros would be the strongest?

5) Say Jon, Mar’i, Chris and Jake are on a joint time travel adventure together which involved the villain of their latest mission sending them scattered across varying time periods from Ancient Greece to the Second World War. How would do this story? Like which time period do each of them end up landing in before they can reunite for the finale?

Good questions @paladin-of-nerd-fandom65 :D

1: hmmmm nah, in my universe, Victor Zsasz is basically a pushover. (Just a regular thug but he has knives XD)

I can say that he managed to cut Jake a few times here and there.

2: lion king, up (first 10 minutes) ending of monsters inc, the almost to the end of click, and inside out.

3: (insert back to the future: hey I seen this one before meme XD)

Jake: FireBird

Mar’i: SunWater

Robert: Messy Lad

Lian: kitty arrow

Irey: thunder-(makes obnoxious fart sound with her mouth)

Jai: quickie

Cerdian: peepee lad

4: it’s gonna be Otho-Ra, cause she’s the baddest girl in comics history XD kidding it’s Kon ;)

Kon: 24,000

Chris: 16,000

Jon: 12,500

Osul: 8,002

5: time commander sends the kids over time and space (just being a regular butt head XD)

Jon: western times (1800s)

Mar’i: hmmm why not a few weeks/months before Tamaran gets destroyed in my universe

Chris: medieval times with dragons and ogres

Jake: somewhere in the year 3000 with lazer guns and swords, spaceships and robots XD

They all came back to the present (for plot sakes XD) and laid a smackdown on time commander.

Includes: wedgies, crotch hits, and just simple hits to the face, plus some doodles on him like the word BUTT on his forehead. (Get it? Butthead 😜)

Thanks for the questions buddy! Let me know if you got more!

Love ya 💙

[jamesislosing]

For me I want the subhuman ratty look. I also want a permanent pig nose, nostrils stretched extremely wide and then have silicone injected and allowed to set. I want all my teeth removed. I want my tongue clipped so I have a double impediment. I want mounting points in my mouth for toys. I want elf ears. Eventually I want an eye pulled. I want to be forced to wear boy clothes with thick diapers underneath, literally locked on. No bathroom access ever. I want my urethra stretched out until it's 3 inches wide. Shrunk in chastity until it's 3 inches long. After that I want the head inverted so when I get fucked I'll feel it every time he bottoms out. Surgery to straighten access to my bladder. Silicone injected to make my peepee a toy for men to use. Reroute until then. My asshole stretched and gaping, always wider. It doesn't close.5 or so inches of prolapse. Fill that with silicone to. Another toy. I wanna have 5 toes removed, first 3 of left, 2 / 4 right. Eventually I want the right leg amputated, below the knee and a prosthetic grafted on. Left leg broken in an waking cast. Left for cut off at the ankle, prosthetic there as well. I want my some of my fingers shortened.i want my hands injected with silicone. Eventually I want my left arm off above the elbow and my right broken, in a cast, below the elbow. And lose the middle two fingers.. I want mounting rings implanted everywhere. Back of my skull shoulders back wrists elbows fingers my lower back butt hips knees ankles toes. I want writing tattooed across my entire body. I want to Livestream everything. I want every bit of it on video. Posted to the web forever. I want an audience to my ruination!

[nobleclover]

How to do a Better Velma Show

No, I haven't watched HBO's Velma because it sucks ass based on the reviews, and I don't wanna boost its ratings by hate-watching. So, instead, I'm gonna provide a few ideas that I have to make a better show centred around Velma. These are only my ideas but feel free to give your opinions on them.

Make Velma flawed, but likeable and relatable. No character is perfect, but it's fine to include a few flaws in some characters. For her, maybe make her just a little bossy, regarding Shaggy, but not to the point of insufferable, in fact make her learn what being a good leader is, while keeping in touch with her famous characteristics. Make her a bit too quick thinking, but eventually have her learn better critical analysis when it comes to solving mysteries.

Race swaps are fine; include them if you want, but leave out the goddamn stereotypes, e.g. Velma being a pretentious, know-it-all southeast Asian girl. Like, not all Asians are like this!

Cut down on the gore and sex scenes. This is when they were set in HIGH SCHOOL, right??? So, why does it have a scene of some girls showering with their lady parts covered? I mean, come on, I know it's supposed to be for adults, but don't sexualise kids! Or keep bringing up peepee jokes in relation to some kid! (I'm talking about the one with Fred) Plus, as someone who draws gore, gore doesn't equal "mature show". Putting gore in a show for shock value just comes off as lazy. I also recommend either having the murder victims killed off in a "clean" way (no violence like removing their brains, maybe something mysterious) or maybe have them kidnapped or something. Yeah, Mystery Incorporated had a lot of death but didn't go over the top with its violent scenes.

Hire better voice actors. The voice acting in this show is terrible, particularly for those voicing the side characters and Mindy Kaling. :/ The other main characters, I feel they could be better, but the character with the most tolerable voice acting is Norville, voiced by Sam Richardson. He could sound a little goofy like Shaggy, but not too much. Speaking of...

Give my man Shaggy more respect. He doesn't have to get with Velma, but he also doesn't need to be treated this shitty. Like, maybe have her be touched by Shaggy's confession, but politely let him down and apologise for not being able to return those feelings. Also, make him a dog lover, a foodie, and take out the "junkie" jokes. Make him smart yet goofy as well!

Fred could've SERIOUSLY been done better. -_- I don't mind him being written as a rich kid, but maybe have him be a kind guy who's eager to be independent and start his own trap making business. An idea his own dad looks down upon. Have him be fed up hanging around with his douchebag jock friends and start hanging with the Mystery Gang slowly over time. Oh, and a personal choice, make him neurodivergent. :D

Make Velma neurodivergent as well. Just saying. UWU

Take out the godawful meta humour and pop culture references. I don't need to explain why, but I will say that Mindy Kaling should've actually put a lot more effort into her writing.

Have Daphne be only a slight snob, but not a bitch. In fact, have her eventually diss the status quo and go hang with the Mystery Gang and embrace her goofy self like in some other incarnations, e.g. Be Cool, Scooby Doo. Oh, and have her be part of the karate club.

Maybe have Velma's parents be more loving and perhaps diss the "missing mother" subplot. Maybe have them be divorced and Velma missing the time when they used to be together.

Somehow introduce Scooby Doo into this. The gang isn't the same without him.

More convincing platonic and romantic chemistry between characters. Doesn't matter if they're hetero or LGBT, MAKE THEM WORK.

BETTER DEPICTIONS OF PANIC ATTACKS.

Don't hire Mindy Kaling on the team. XD

OK, these are my thoughts on how to make a better Velma show! Feel free to add your own input as well!

[cranes-menagerie]

Heya pals!!!😃😁 I jwust discovered a new and wevowutionary way to make pasta!!! wags fake tail aggressively at the speed of sound shit flies out of hole and is propelled in the air everywhere by the tail wags staining the wall behind a dark greenish-brown I CAN'T WAIT TO SHOW Y'ALL!!!! Owo uWu Howls so loud in excitement and blows out all the windows and kills all of the closest passerbys😊😊😊 Instwead of using boring and smwelly overpriced old spaghetti that we have to buy at a crummy store, we could use the free products that come from within us… TAPEWORMS!!!!!!!! OWo >W< Or any other booty worms are just fine too!🤤😊🤤

It's very simple, eat some uncooked meat like pork and wait awhile! :p ^o^ Once you start feeling itchy n scritchy and your waist line is slimmer you'll know it's ready! my "chocolate milkshake brings all the boys to the yard😊"~ Once your little wormy is ripe and ready, drink some pepto bismol and some dewormers! You can flavor the pepto bismol with some blended up cockroaches to improve it's taste!!! It's SOO good trust me uwu!!!!!! tee hee heesnort~ ^W^

Once it's finally out you may have to pull it all the way out manually or have a friend help you teamwork makes the dreamwork!🥰 just strain it from the diahrrea save the diahrrea for later! and place it aside! See how long plump and plentiful it is 😍😍😍 Twake your time to run your fwingers through your new beatiful creation, feel the slime trickiling through your fingers and admire it… Next cut it up into how long you'd like, you may also notice chwunks of poop and corn stuck to them It's SOOOO YUMMY Uwu 🤤, those will be the meatballs!!!

OOOOOH and make sure not to cook your little booty worms as to not kill them so they can live again and you can have free fwesh pasta! It would SUCK if they all died >~< cries and has explosive diahrrea on motheroh sorry uwu tee hee~ oh gee golly gosh~ Get the diahrrea from earlier and boil it down a bit since it'll be watery from the toilet and cook it down slightly until your preferred consistency! Howls and licks out extra from the toilet like a cat licking churu Now pour it on your tapeworms and poopy corn balls!

Be sure to eat onions before the clean out if you want any bits of onions in your sauce! Popcorn if you want any kernel shells for added texture. If you're lucky and have pin worms you can use them as parmesan and sprinkle them on top of your dish! If you don't have any pin worms on hand scratching off some dandruff onto the food has the same effect! pants and helocopter farts in nearby cat's face One last thing you can add is a sprinkle of peepee poopoo dust as just a little enhancer!☺️Tee hee~ Bone apple feet!

@gay-trashcan-cat I will drag you by your eyelids into the salt mines

[rikasfundingassociates]

[Found Chatlog] The Hacker.

This interview originally took place on January 28th, 2023.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

The phone screen whirs to life to reveal… quite a peculiar place. Darkness creeps at the corners of your vision, and everything in the room is tinted slightly green with the night vision feature of the camera. One by one, some notable features become clear as the camera slowly adjusts to the dim light.

One- a stack of takeout boxes and bags that teeters ever so slightly to the side, but balanced with enough precision to remain standing for… who knows how long.

Two- a cat tree with various tattered felt rats and strings with bells on the end hanging from the ballasts of the fortress, obviously well used.

Three- an electric keyboard in the corner of the room, dusty with manila folders propped up where sheet music should be.

Four- a desk with two monitors and a high-backed swivel chair (what’s on the monitors is unclear, as they’re too blindingly bright to be picked up by the camera.) It’s facing away from the computer. It’s also occupied! She has picked up on the camera recording her a while ago, curiously following the lens with a catlike quirk to her lips.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

[HACKER]: what's this all about? gonna interview me or something ? :3

peepee

Cat tree…… cats

CATS !!! i luvluvluv cats

ok first of all what your pronouns

oh!!! haven't had to give them out in a while

she/her

i'm going to assume YOUR pronouns are pee/pee

I have question….. is green your favourite colour by chance

oh noooooo how could you tellllll

(yes)

hrmmmmm what was the last piece of media you watched/read/consumed

last not fav? i replayed kirby and the forgotten land recently

. . .

L L L

ur pee pee now

i said so

Favourite kirby character go!!

AHHHH IM ON A TIMER KING DEEDEE

well what is your fav media? i like. old animated movies

just any old movie ??? i have a penchant for those cringy scifi ones with special effects that you can tell aged horribly

as for the question, video game music is my jam :3

what kind of music do you listen to anon

OSTs and a bit of vocaloid mostly

. . .

i can't bear to lose the respect of someone whos pronouns are peepee....

if the world could hear you say one thing, what would you say

deez NUTSSSS

When do we get to see ur assumably there cat hMMMMM :face_with_raised_eyebrow:

i wish i could show you, but a friend is watching over him for me !!!

caught me at a bad time ... 3:

OMG I HAVE A RLLY GOOD ONE ok you remmeber that jesus guy and how he had a body and blood which were bread and wine

omg like the tibble

what would your body and blood be?

my brain hurts.... uhhhhh

ig my headphones and cat??,,

IW ANT TO SEE THE CAT

IM SORRY IM SORRRRYYYY

hold on hold on wait

i can show you a gif that he looks like

What kind of cat is it ….): at least

tabby :3

what do you do for work?

hmmmmm currently ???? im a bit between jobs

i was working at this chinese takeout place, but i had to drop that to work on the app !!! call it a passion project

part time now im delivering pizzas for this parlor down the street

. . .

AHA !!! I FOUND HIM!!!

he’s a bit bigger and more gremliny but that’s the best one i have !!!

what’s the app you’re talking about?

oh !!!! i don’t get to talk about this often yippee

i, the GREAT AND BENEVOLENT PERSON I AM, coded a whole new app for my friends and i to talk to each other !!!

a little debugging here and there, but for the most part it works pretty smoothly and i get to establish my dominion :33

What would you ………sing at Karaoke night?

CA LI FOR NIA GIRLS WE'RE UNFORGETTABLE

DAISY DUKES BIKINIS ON TOP

[ There’s a bit of pounding on the floor, which quiets her down quickly enough. ]

[ Distantly ]

sorryy...

https://tenor.com/view/maxwell-maxwell-spin-spinning-cat-maxwell-spinning-gif-27234188 Opinions on maxwell

i like the cut of his jib

he's committed many crimes

Dumb floor banger party pooper :AUGH:

i don't know what the proble, was !!! im SUCH a good singer

... i won't do it again tho

do you think anyone else will get to use it?

as much as i’d like to open it up to the public, we have a strict closed circle !! only people we trust can join :3

BEEE WHOOO YOUUU AREEEE FOR YOUR PRIIIIIDE

what are you...

one of those gay people ????

Am i

you tell me ...

who was that floor banger party pooper!!

my landlady 3:

apparently there’s ‘nighttime restrictions’ or something

sounds boring to me !!!

ALSO IF THE PUBLIC ISNT ALLOWED TO USE THE APP WHO IS.. who is this inner circle you have

i WISH we were the illuminati

just me and a couple'a buds! childhood friends

do you ever worry that someone could possibly infiltrate what you’ve made? like a leak or something?

someone breaking through MY security system? HA!

i'm a master programmer, so i'd never let that happen on my watch !!

Is that pizza place secretly a government hangout????

... id prefer not to answer this one

agent papa john? someone's caught on

take the shot

DOMINOS ALL THE WAY :rage:

... nobody tell them

i hate to break it to you

they're all in on it...

….even pizza express ): ?

nah

they're cool

Pizzas vs burgers

i’m contractually obligated to give one answer

if i don’t, i’ll be fired on the spot and blacklisted from every pizza place ever :(

… except pizza express

Im gonna go eat a burger out of spite now

TRAITOR

YOU'RE GONNA LEAVE ME HERE, A RANDOM FACELESS PERSON YOU'VE BARELY MET ????

Detective work is real tiring!!

i guess you deserve a break, after busting my super secret pizza agent cover…

… IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WAS ACTUALLY A SUPER SECRET PIZZA AGENT

AHA!!! YOU’VE BEEN PRANKED!! BY THE NEFARIOUS -

[ There’s banging from the floor below again, along with a muffled female voice yelling back up at the hacker. ]

.... oh

guess i gotta go :(

she doesn't like all the yelling... heh

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

[HACKER]: i should be getting back to my work anyways !! was nice to have some company for a bit, tho

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

The hacker turns back around in her chair, and the rhythmic clicking of keys fills the room once more. With that, the phone screen shuts off.

⊹₊┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ୨୧ㆍ┈ㆍ┈ㆍ┈₊⊹

Transcript provided by [UNKNOWN].

[theflyingfeeling]

I was so excited about UMK this year but now that all the songs are out I'm so disappointed and I need to process this somehow, so...below the cut is my (cynic) review of the songs this year, I wrote this for me but you may look ✨

Keira: No Business on the Dancefloor

I hadn't heard of her before, so I had no idea what to expect. She sings well, but there's nothing too special in the song. Songs similar to this advance to the ESC final every year, but I don't think this one's interesting enough to do that. (Also, I'm scared to even ask but can someone explain the line "swing it like Harry Potter" to me? I haven't read the books nor seen the movies, what did he ever swing? His broom? His peepee? lol)

Benjamin: Hoida mut

I don't know, man... There are songs that imply sexual content without being explicitly sexual that do it better than this one. The lyrics sound immature, in parts (maybe less so in the English translation), and I'm not a fan of how some of the words are stressed/emphasized. Not a huge fan of Benjamin's singing voice either, and he is definitely the weakest singer in the whole bunch.

Robin Packalen: Girls Like You

Robin was the very reason why I was so excited about UMK this year and, consequently, the reason why I'm so disappointed in this year's competition overall. I had such grand expectations for him, perhaps unreasonably so; I just really wanted him to have a great song and be sent to ESC and do well there 😔 However, having listened to the song on Spotify (i.e. without the mv), I have to say that the song isn't terrible. It's actually quite catchy and uptempo, and in my opinion the vibe in the music video doesn't quite match the vibe of the song. So IF they manage to compile a live show that brings out the good qualities of the song (because there are some!) and IF/when Robin's voice brings the song into life in the live version (because it certainly doesn't do so in the studio version), I think we MIGHT be able to ignore the weaknesses of the song (such as the tacky lyrics; then again, there have been and will be songs with even worse lyrics in the ESC every year, this one wouldn't even be the worst eh?)

Lxandra: Something to Lose

Not memorable at all (I couldn't even recall the name of this song without checking it). Really not my kind of music, not a fan of that kind of singing technique at all. If you're gonna do a ballad in the ESC, it needs to be bigger and stronger than this one.

Käärijä: Cha Cha Cha

Without having seen the live show for this, I must admit I'm also one of those people who are ready to send this to Liverpool. That is not to say I love the song, although it is the only one that evokes any kind of (positive) feelings in me. I don't know, maybe I feel pretentious jamming along to this song because I don't go to bars safe for Samy Elbanna acoustic gigs and BC tumblr meetings and I've never been drunk in my life? 😂 Still, it was the first song that I nodded my head along to and that brought a smile to my face (for some reason the line "toinen silmä jo karsastaa" / "one eye keeps turning crossed too far" always cracks me up). I'm just a little annoyed because people (mostly at the Finnish eurovision discussion board I've been reading) keep praising this song to the extent that I think it's a little over the top, saying stuff like "this is the best UMK song ever!!" and "this is the new Lordi!!" but like...it's not?! Or is it me who's in the wrong here? 😟 I don't know, maybe I should just lower my expectations and accept that I'm not gonna get another "Dark Side" out of UMK any time soon...

KUUMAA: Ylivoimainen

Another song that is praised a lot and I'm not quite sure why. Again, it's not a bad song, but something in it just feels...off. I think it's partly because I'm not a huge fan of Johannes' vocals/singing voice, but also because of the lyrics. I understand it's about the ecstasy one feels when falling in love, (and I want you to know that I'm saying the following even though I know y'all think I'm crazy) but instead of romantic, the lyrics seem sort of...obsessive? Every single line in the song is so desperate to the point that it makes me feel a little anxious. Yes, I also understand that song lyrics and poetry tend to exaggerate things and that none of this is to be taken literally, but even so, it doesn't evoke the feelings in me that it's probably intented to. If someone told me that "there's nothing left for me but you" I wouldn't feel enamored, I'd feel...sad? Because what if a day comes that we break up and you don't have me anymore, then what? You'll jump down the balcony? I don't want to be the only thing that's left for you, come on, there's gotta be something else in your life too, I can't handle this pressure! And with the sort of melancholic, yet upbeat melody of the song it feels kinda distressing and I almost feel like I can't breath when I listen to it. Then again, I've never been in love myself, so what the fuck do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Portion Boys: Samaa taivasta katsotaan

Well 😂😂😂😂😂 In Finland we have this thing called junttidisco, and this is it. I have good reason to believe their other songs are like this too (I've only ever heard two of them), so what the hell were you expecting? 🤣 This is the only song that made me really laugh out loud (with Käärijä it was more like a sensible chuckle), but not necessarily in a good way. The lyrics in the verses are so cringe, although I did love the bit in the chorus about Kimi Räikkönen 😂 The worst part is that I'm not sure whether this is intented as a parody or if they're actually serious about this. I want to believe it's done tongue in cheek, in which case I appreciate them not taking themselves too seriously.

~

To conclude, I don't really give a fuck who will advance to Liverpool, but I guess if we absolutely must send one, then let it be Käärijä, assuming his live show will be fit for ESC. And despite having a horribly boring, mainstream, flavourless song, I still want to put Robin as my 2nd favourite, because I want to believe the live version of the song will be much better than the studio version 🙏

[afactaday]

#aFactADay2024 #1461: the FINALE part 3! see the master post or the Neocities landing page. the following post is best read on the Neocities website.

Stop the Bus, I Need a Wee-Wee!

Apparently that song has other verses??

Abstract

During 2024, a list of visits to the bathroom was logged with data on datetime and burstingness. Various analyses were produced to present various aspects of the data, primarily for the purpose of being silly. 947 "number ones" and 223 "number twos" were had over a 365-day period, the largest proportion of which were at home and between 6-7am. Finally, we also present a "Number, Clump, Spread Analysis" on the timestamps collected.

Introduction and Collection Methods

There's really not much to be said here. I genuinely have no idea why I started recording all this data in specific! The log dates back to late December 2023, which is quite a nice timeframe as it gives me a clean year. This entire document is completely non-serious, and really just an excuse to squeeze as many euphemisms in as possible.

All data in this article are cut off at the 30th of Dec (I'm currently writing this at 2am on New Year's Eve) but because this year was a leap year it still works out to be 365 days. Each datum in the datalog consists of a datetime, type, location and burstingness. Type is whether it's a "number one" or a "number two". Location refers not to a specific toilet but a slightly more generic place - like "home" or "the English corridor". Burstingness is rated out of 5, where

1 = I didn't know I needed it

2 = a slight nagging

3 = I needed that

4 = stop the bus I need a wee-wee

5 = gotta riverdance to stay sane

I did log timezones (i.e. when I went abroad, I logged the update to relative time but wrote data in local time) but these have all been ignored, so there are going to be some very minor and very occasional offsets. You'll barely notice them.

Summary and Highlights

I went to the loo* 1170 times this year

947 of which were number ones (2.6 times a day)

223 of which were number twos (4.3 times a week)

*I actually only went to the loo 1010 times this year: 160 visits involved both a number one and a number two

The vast majority of these visits happened at home while roughly a sixth happened between 6-7am

Most number ones were ranked 3 burstingness, whereas most number twos were ranked 4

A period of intense loo-age was evident in June

The Age-Old Wisdom

As a knowledgable sage once told me, "Poopoo Time is Peepee Time but Peepee Time is not [Always] Poopoo Time" This obviously seemed correct at the time but now we can prove it! As was mentioned in the highlights, 160 of my loo visits incorporated both a number one and a number two (in any order, within ten minutes of one another, although only 7 of these happened 2-10 minutes apart - most were just a minute apart). This means that 72% of "Poopoo Times" were "Peepee Times". Obviously when this wizard said this, the implication was that it wasn't every single one (that would be easy to disprove as it only takes one), but the vast majority is pretty good evidence. The other half of the statement is easy to prove: for every number two, there were at least four number ones (4.24 to be precise) and thus by the Dirichlet Principle (which has a much fancier name than it deserves - don't Google it because you'll be underwhelmed) there will always be a "Peepee Time" that cannot be a "Poopoo Time". Specifically, 83% of them were. But, that half of the adage is still 100% true. Therefore, the legendry is roughly 86% true. Good enough for me.

How badly?

Each toilet visit is qualified with a "burstingness" score between 1 and 5 (scroll up to see the benchmarks - I can't be bothered to repeat them). Most were 3s and 4s, which makes sense because why empty the tank if it's not full? Similarly, why wait until it's so uncomfortable that you have to riverdance? Apparently I was much more willing to do so with number twos than ones:

The reason I put this section here (rather than somewhere below in the less important stuff... as if any of this is important) was because there are some interesting relations between the "burstingness" score and the crossovers of number ones and twos discussed in the first section:

There were 53 number ones with a burstingness of 1 (ie "I didn't think I needed to go"), but 52 of these happened within ten minutes after a number two, thus backing up the claims discussed in the previous section even further. Similarly, there were 153 number ones with a burstingness of 2 (ie just-perceptible), but most of these happened within ten minutes of a number two. In fact, of most visits involving both water and fertiliser, I much more needed to do the latter than the former, and the vast majority of number ones involved in a situation like this were not very bursting. This adds further evidence to the claims discussed in the previous section and passed down through the generations.

How Often?

This is the important question, really. I have a friend who drains the radiator more times in a day than I have fingers to count on - when they get through our triple lesson (which features majorly in my article on "Number, Clump, Spread" - go read that! Shameless self-insert!) without going to the loo, this is something to write home about. I, on the other hand, am notorious for rarely going to the loo. The longest I believe I went this year was 29 hours and 41 minutes, although that's harder to verify than I can be bothered. For the record, I had seven number ones in a day on multiple occasions! (It was terrible!) But to give a more specific answer, I will answer through the powerful medium of a Google Sheets graph that I whipped up in the dead of night!

Looking more closely, there are some interesting things to be revealed. My bowel patterns were much more stable, although they did roughly mirror some of the more drastic changes in urinary movements in places. To address the elephant in the room, there was a massive spike during June where I almost doubled my number ones at a point. Both 7-number-1s (and both 6-number-1s) occurred during June. This is simply because June is hayfever season, so I drink loads of water to keep my mucus nice and runny so that I can breathe more easily, but it does go through me quite quickly....

The other interesting pattern that took me by such a large surprise was the oscillations that seem to occur. They're visible throughout at regular and almost predictable intervals, but particularly around August/September sorta time. This reminded me strikingly of this pattern that occurred during study leave one year:

To give a little context, this was part of a larger challenge I held with a friend to see who could be most productive during study leave (mostly with respect to studying but also other things like self-care and hobbies). For the record, I won this year (reclaiming my loss from the previous year's study leave). But probably only because of the extremely long plateau of productivity around mid-late May where two oscillations fused together.

But oddly, the oscillations in this productivity graph match the oscillations in the number of pennies I spend (once you account for things like different moving average periods, phase offset, etc). I wonder if there's something really afoot here - probably just statistical bias (if I'm more productive I work harder so drink more water....??) but any correlation would be interesting. In the same way that I analysed similar (but different) data in my "Number, Clump, Spread" article to help plan my time in the long-term, I wonder if there's any merit in analysing when powder my nose to help me plan my time... Probably clutching at straws here. I have much better data for September-December (where the oscillations are clearest in both moving averages) in terms of productivity (as part of the same dataset as the "focability" data used in my "Number, Clump, Spread" article - go read it!! Shameless self-insert!) but I can't entirely be bothered to analyse it this instant.

When and Where?

At what time of day did I wring out the ol' kidneys most? 06:06am. 12 wazzes occurred at 6 past 6 in the morning in 2024. 8.2% of all my visits took place between 06:00 and 06:20am, while 16.9% took place between 6 and 7 o'clock. This is hardly surprising as I got in a good habit this year of getting up at 6 on the dot (although I slipped quite a bit in the latter part of the year).

Most of the other larger spikes on this graph are labellable. the second one is 08:20-08:40, roughly when I have my breakfast on the weekend. There are peaks at 13:00-13:20 (the beginning of lunch at school) and 14:20-14:40 (roughly when I leave school on a lot of days, but also roughly 8 hours after my first number one of the day if I'm at home). There's an extended portion of the day where I have a lot more (variously between 3pm and 9pm) because that's usually when I get home. The peak at 8pm is inexplicably high. Aside from that, it all seems that my body runs on surprisingly regular clockwork.

But where do I test the plumbing most? As just mentioned, when I wake up and when I get home are two of my favourite times to pay a visit to the ol' porcelain, so it's unsurprising that 4 in 5 of nature's calls occur at home. (Wow, sounds like a firefighters' campaign.)

Aside from the massive proportion that happen at home (it could happen to you too!), the biggest proportion is just wherever I'm staying at the time (defined as somewhere I overnighted) which makes sense because it's just a stand-in for home. The biggest sub-category hereof was my exchange partner's house, where I stayed for two weeks, but my aunt also featured quite highly.

Of the thirteenth that happen at school, my favourite haunt is the loos in the English corridor, which warranted 47 visits this year. Probably just because it's nearest to the DT department.

The tiny 1.7% miscellaneous slice is where it gets interesting: most are at friends' houses or non-school institutions where I was visiting. The equally poignant component is the green slice, which for some reason Google refuses to label. These are public loos! I used 18 different public bogs 19 times (only four on trains or in stations, surprisingly) - the only one I could stomach going back to was on Bournemouth beach. I think there's an ode to be given to public loos from the fact that I used them more than my friends', but I'll leave my less fortunately bladdered friend to write such an ode.

NSC

For the umpteenth time in this article, I'm going to reference my other article on "Number, Clump and Spread", which was also written as part of the Fact of the Day Finale series. I implore you to read at least part of it before fully understanding this bit, although I'll attempt to give a layperson's interpretation too. (The values account for number ones only and are given in HH:MM:SS format for your convenience. I'll take applause at the end.)

The value of mu (the mean) is very simply the mean interval between two rainstorms on the bowl - you may recognise that value as the reciprocal of the number i mentioned earlier, 2.6 per day.

The value of mu_c (the "clump-weighted mean") represents the mean time passages between water passages, but weighted in favour of close-together instances. It's a measure of how much a role closely-packed events form in your data, and of short-term distribution: here, it's quite a lot but still quite a few hours so nothing to write home about.

The value of mu_s (the "spread-weighted mean") represents the mean duration between urination station visitations, but this time weighted in favour of "poorly-spread" instances. It's a measure of poorly-distributed events in your data in the long term: here it's very close to the standard mean, albeit a little bit above, implying that there are certainly some drier stints than others but on the whole it's very well-spread. Which makes sense.

The same analysis couldn't be conducted for slices of caterpillar cake as easily on the entire dataset due to its poor formatting and my laziness at this dark hour of night. However, small-scale testing yields two results:

It was better spread and even better clumped compared to the tinkle.

A surprising number of them occurred at similar times but one or two days apart!

I'm afraid I don't really have anything more to say in this article. It's all a bit silly. As ever, if you have any ideas what to do with all this data (any analyses you think might be interesting?) or any ideas for future data-collection, please let me know ASAP!! I love spreadsheets.....

Oh and go and read the other three articles. They're much more purposeful. Ok maybe not purposeful....

[elizabethzoopzoop986]

This did not happen… I’m not really surprised by the new chapter ig?? Idk how to word my thoughts about it… I think it’s interesting how the reason kou and Mitsuba weren’t friends in the main timeline is because of Kous responsibilities in the house… (maybe my fav part of the chapter it’s a really cool detail)

Idk it’s not really surprising that they’re sort of remembering but don’t really want to and that Amane is evil?? Or possessed in this timeline.. idk it’s kinda underwhelming in that sense??? As this goes on I genuinely have no idea wtf the clock keepers did, I hope it’s something we can guess and not like something completely new, I would love to be able to play along and guess at home and that’s not really possible I don’t think right now, like I wanna obsess and makes theories but nothing really checks out… I still firmly believe this timeline is better. I think it still is even if Mitsuba and Kou do die. (I saw someone say this timeline is worse? And no the og timeline is about to like cease to exist and a bunch of people were turned into evil trees or sm)

I like mitsukou ofc and Kous one of my favourite characters but crazy take, not that I don’t love Mitsuba but like idk he’s always been kinda?? Like boring?? To me… I honestly have no idea why I love him but just like… idk plus ngl I just feel like everything in the timeline is gonna go away(which I really hope it doesn’t) so like what does it even matter. I think it would be more impactful if Kou was with Amane in the end because at this point I don’t care about Mitsuba dying.. like yep here we go gain, how novel, never been done before. Like I love Mitsuba don’t get me wrong but like.. he’s died a bunch before, he’s dead in the main timeline which I unfortunately think we are a hundred 100% going back to so like what does killing him actually mean??

I wish that AidaIro really pulled some kinda plot twist… instead of mitsukover what if they did just like run away and be happy?? I just want my babies to be happy :( and I’m done with this dumb plot of the red house and bs Yugi twin demon house stuff

In conclusion I’m done with AidaIro mitsukou angst about Mitsuba dying it’s boring to me at this point.. they’re so cute but like for what they keep doing the same thing and The clock keepers should have just cut off Yugi dads peepee

I know this is probably a crazy hot take, and honestly I don’t even know why I feel like way but they are just genuinely my feelings and I understand people disagree, so please don’t be mean, if you disagree that’s so valid like I feel like I shouldn’t even feel do just be respectful about it!! I would genuinely like to hear other people’s opinions about the new chapter

I didn’t even realise how many thoughts I have lol

NEW CHAPTER TOMORROw!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m excited I feel like it’s gonna be a big ol’ chapter too like the red house I’m excited

Lowkey tho I’d love AidaIro so much if it was just a normal house with old man Amane living there like :D oh yess I love having young visitors you know back in my day I also when to kagome and nothing remotely supernatural happens