#i cut myself!!!!!
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nobody gets abed. i got him a little
#am i the stupidest person in the world#does everybody know something i dont#am i broken#am i irreparably fucked up#am i just a giant puzzle to everybody else that no one really cares to solve#like am i just not worth it#is that what it is#if anybody saw right into my mind would they care to stay?#im not an eldritch horror or an asshole i dont think but im weird!!!!!!!!#in a way that just seems to be. a lot of work.#a Lot of work#like i would love to take a break from masking or decoding facial expressions or tones or actual words#or like. the world of fucking stimulus#i cut myself!!!!!#that was great!#for like ten minutes#gonna wear a scrunchie on my wrist tomorrow and if someone sees i guess someone fucking sees#i doubt anyone at work cares enough let alone has any idea what to say#its fine!#i feel stupid#i feel crazy#i uh#if i could hit a button and be done with it all i would in a heartbeat that was true the first day of sixth grade and its been true basicaly#ever since
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that's right babygirls i still have more JKAWLKLSDF
i always thought it'd be fun if ladybug had wings so i gave her some bc yes
#miraculous ladybug#mlb#miraculous tales of ladybug and chat noir#ladybug#chat noir#adrien agreste#plagg#my art#bloodily pulling myself out of art block and art burnout still#so im trying diff ways of like sketching and such from what i usually do#been p effective thus far SDFSD tryina cut down on what i find most tedious#scheduled#i hope tumblr doesn't delay it i set it for 9 pm DSFKLSD
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You need to make art that nobody else likes. You need to make art that speaks to you alone. You need to cradle a serpent that eats its own tail and you need to love it until it loves you back
#The best art I've ever made will never be hung in anyone's home#That's not the point#It's not about being good#It's about being real#It's about eating something unpalatable#It's about being consumed#And tasting bitter#It's gorging yourself on crude oil just to feel something different#It's biting your tongue to make yourself cry#I'm saying that I am capable of making you feel good through personal sacrifice but I kind of don't want to cut myself up like that#If you want my heart to taste good you have to prepare it yourself#That isn't my problem
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the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.
capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.
now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.
and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.
and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.
and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".
it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"
#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility#but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion#that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone#i am an environmental educator#so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering#that people are going through#without doing my research and providing real ways to help#this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning#to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering#unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this#and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this#and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity#(complaining)#and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself#for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion#i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out#rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually.#my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free#is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY.#anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i#which is more than their CEOs can say
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midnight ramblers (for loopdeloop - cowboy)
#the cuts are better with the music i promise#loopdeloop#animation#this one was reaaally fun#i mostly did it on the plane back from the states#procreate#also wanted to challenge myself and do all the comp within procreate#which was frustrating! but. all i had to do on the big computer was stitch the shots together and add sound.
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C'MON TO THE THEATER!
I love these guys so much. forget NRC, I want to attend their terrible disaster school for disaster children that might actually be plastered on top of the smoking remains of an actively sinking ship. I may or may not actually learn anything, but I will have the time of my life.
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#stage in playful land#stage in playfulland#unique magic posters#so it was fellow after all and not gidel? whoops#i was merely overthinking it#me? overthink fictional characters? surely not#god though#i can't not love a guy who gets the cutest most adorable power#and instantly goes 'i shall use this for Crimes'#also every time he was like 逃げる! my brain auto-translated it as CHEESE IT!#accompanied by twst's running-away sound effect which is just the quintessential sound of someone cheesing it#if i could have (1) twst spinoff it would be the adventures of these two idiots trying to do an education#they would have a stodgy bureaucrat antagonist who keeps trying to catch them in their sleazy corner-cutting ways and shut them down#(OF COURSE there would be a bit where they are trying to host an unforgettable luncheon but egads! their roast is ruined!)#and all while they're trying to evade being hunted down by the playful land investors#the hijinks would be SO wacky you guys#i've made myself sad now because this will never exist#it's real in my HEART
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completely innocuous vash sheet :) fr practice
#my art#trigun stampede#trigun#vash the stampede#trigun vash#trigun stampede fanart#trigun fanart#vash fanart#STILL dont know the tags gomen ill do research one of these days#anyway . 4 gd days later hes finally done#here is what i am learning . i love his design sm. but jesus CHRIST#all the individual elements r so time consuming i want to tear my face off. im slowly getting more familiar w the arm but God.#im so peeved at how long this took but i am trying to cut myself some slack. remembering tht his design is a 24 hour endeavour#and i drew 4 of him#3 of which being fullbody 2 of which being foreshortened 1 of which being a Maid Dress#the price i pay fr self-indulgence.....the price i pay fr [redacted]#this started out as a treat fr me n it became my purgatory#but it is DONE and now i can look at vash in a maid outfit and tied up and jacket off turtleneck Out and shirtless and- *is shot dead*#anyway huge shoutout to mey rin black butler fr being the og Maid With Gun#stole the thigh bustle from a panel of her it was just too good#anyway take it enjoy the fruits of my labour enjoy him i am . exhausted.
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Any tips on learning to make buttonholes? I've been putting it off for.... *checks notes* like three years.... but better late than never and all that. I don't have any fancy machines so I gotta do it by hand but that seems right up your alley.
Thanks!
It IS up my alley, yes, I do most of my buttonholes by hand!
I'm actually part way through filming an 18th century buttonhole tutorial, but I expect it'll be a few more weeks before I finish that and put it on the youtubes, so in the meantime here's the very very short version. (The long version is looking like it'll probably be about 40 minutes maybe, judging by how much script I've written compared to my last video?)
Mark your line, a bit longer than your button is wide. I usually use a graphite mechanical pencil on light fabrics, and a light coloured pencil crayon on dark ones. (I have fabric pencils too, but they're much softer and leave a thicker line.) You may want to baste the layers together around all the marked buttonholes if you're working on something big and the layers are shifty and slippery. I'm not basting here because this is just a pants placket.
Do a little running stitch (or perhaps a running backstitch) in fine thread around the line at the width you want the finished buttonhole to be. This holds the layers of fabric together and acts as a nice little guide for when you do the buttonhole stitches.
Cut along the marked line using a buttonhole cutter, or a woodworking chisel. Glossy magazines are the best surface to put underneath your work as you push down, and you can give it a little tap with a rubber mallet if it's not going through all the way.
I'm aware that there are some people who cut their buttonholes open using seam rippers, and if any of them are reading this please know that that is abhorrent behaviour and I need you to stop it immediately. Stop it.
Go get a buttonhole cutter for 10 bucks and your life will be better for it. Or go to the nearest hardware store and get a little woodworking chisel. This includes machine buttonholes, use the buttonhole cutter on them too. If you continue to cut open buttonholes with a seam ripper after reading this you are personally responsible for at least 3 of the grey hairs on my head.
Do a whipstitch around the cut edges, to help prevent fraying while you work and to keep all those threads out of the way. (For my everyday shirts I usually do a machine buttonhole instead of this step, and then just hand stitch over it, because it's a bit faster and a lot sturdier on the thin fabrics.)
I like to mark out my button locations at this point, because I can mark them through the holes without the buttonhole stitches getting in the way.
For the actual buttonhole stitches it's really nice if you have silk buttonhole twist, but I usually use those little balls of DMC cotton pearl/perle because it's cheap and a good weight. NOT stranded embroidery floss, no separate strands! It's got to be one smooth twisted thing!
Here's a comparison pic between silk buttonhole twist (left) and cotton pearl (right). Both can make nice looking buttonholes, but the silk is a bit nicer to work with and the knots line up more smoothly.
I've actually only used the silk for one garment ever, but am going to try to do it more often on my nicer things. I find the cotton holds up well enough to daily wear though, despite being not ideal. The buttonholes are never the first part of my garments to wear out.
I cut a piece of about one arm's length more or less, depending on the size of buttonhole. For any hole longer than about 4cm I use 2 threads, one to do each side, because the end gets very frayed and scruffy by the time you've put it through the fabric that many times.
I wax about 2cm of the tip (Not the entire thread. I wax the outlining/overcasting thread but not the buttonhole thread itself.) to make it stick in the fabric better when I start off the thread. I don't tend to tie it, I just do a couple of stabstitches or backstitches and it holds well. (I'm generally very thorough with tying off my threads when it comes to hand sewing, but a buttonhole is basically a long row of knots, so it's pretty sturdy.)
Put the needle through underneath, with the tip coming up right along that little outline you sewed earlier. And I personally like to take the ends that are already in my hand and wrap them around the tip of the needle like so, but a lot of people loop the other end up around the other way, so here's a link to a buttonhole video with that method. Try both and see which one you prefer, the resulting knot is the same either way.
Sometimes I can pull the thread from the end near the needle and have the stitch look nice, but often I grab it closer to the base and give it a little wiggle to nestle it into place. This is more necessary with the cotton than it is with the silk.
The knot should be on top of the cut edge of the fabric, not in front of it.
You can put your stitches further apart than I do if you want, they'll still work if they've got little gaps in between them.
Keep going up that edge and when you get to the end you can either flip immediately to the other side and start back down again, or you can do a bar tack. (You can also fan out the stitches around the end if you want, but I don't like to anymore because I think the rectangular ends look nicer.)
Here's a bar tack vs. no bar tack sample. They just make it look more sharp, and they reinforce the ends.
For a bar tack do a few long stitches across the entire end.
And then do buttonhole stitches on top of those long stitches. I also like to snag a tiny bit of the fabric underneath.
Then stick the needle down into the fabric right where you ended that last stitch on the corner of the bar tack, so you don't pull that corner out of shape, and then just go back to making buttonhole stitches down the other side.
Then do the second bar tack once you get back to the end.
To finish off my thread I make it sticky with a bit more beeswax, waxing it as close to the fabric as I can get, and then bring it through to the back and pull it underneath the stitches down one side and trim it off.
In my experience it stays put perfectly well this way without tying it off.
Voila! An beautiful buttonholes!
If you want keyhole ones you can clip or punch a little rounded bit at one end of the cut and fan your stitches out around that and only do the bar tack at one end, like I did on my 1830's dressing gown.
(I won't do that style in my video though, because they're not 18th century.)
Do samples before doing them on a garment! Do as many practice ones as you need to, it takes a while for them to get good! Mine did not look this nice 10 years ago.
Your first one will probably look pretty bad, but your hundredth will be much better!
Edit: Video finished!
youtube
And here's the blog post, which is mostly a slightly longer version of this post.
#ask#buttonholes#sewing#hand sewing#sewing tutorial#I've been procrastinating on the video this week#I want it done! I don't want to work on it I want new projects! I want to cut out more gloves!#currently forcing myself to do the last few buttonholes on these pants and then maybe I can cut out new gloves? as a treat?#but I hope I get some filming done tomorrow too
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I recently got a bunch of TNG novels at a charity shop and this passage from the FIRST BOOK is making me feel craaaaazy
#the characterisations are all over the place because they were still finding their footing on the show itself :') like riker is rly insecure#and kind of a hardass???#and picard is a little TOO standoffish#but it makes me appreciate this all the more cos im like Oh but they understood from the get-go that geordi like. ADORES Data#😭😭😭😭#anyhoo. sorry for not drawing. i was doing some commission stuff.... and also it just takes me forever to motivate#myself to draw anyway. that tag got cut off awkwardly. but you get it.#Data Soong#geordi laforge#daforge#star trek#tng#mwah mwah love ya
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BRO LITERALLY DOXXED HIMSELF TO THE CYCLOPS. he was asking to get jumped come on
#ATHENA WAS LITTERALLY BEGGING FOR BRO TO SHUT UP AND HE WAS JUST LIKE:#“HEY CYCLOPS IM THE REIGNING KING OF ITHACA AND MY NAMES ODYSSEUS BET YOU CANT FIND ME”#my art#epic the musical#epic the cyclops saga#odysseus#odysseus of ithaca#odysseus epic#athena#athena epic#eurylochus epic#out off topic but people that sent doodle request on ask im not ignoring y'all ok#it's just that my grandpa fell down on the kitchen and hit his head so now ive been a bit busy taking care of him#he's good btw nothing happened to him it was just a cut#but the gdi head always bleeds so much it was so scary#plus i felt another artblock starting so I had to doodle something silly and funny to kinda motivate myself lol#AND PLUS i started trying animating and turns out I KINDA HATE-LOVE IT#it's SO MUCH WORK TAKES SO MUCH TIME IT CAN BE SO BORING AT TIMES#but also once you kinda check how its looking overall it feels so good and fun??#anyways ill probably get to those asks around the weekend when ill have some free time :)
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"You're my guys....Those other toys, they don’t…spark joy."
#my first gif lol#it's really rough. and as u can see by me posting this at 2AM it um. was a struggle heh#there were a lot more scenes i wanted to include but coloring the frames took forever so i had to cut it short#but basically. chuck loves to watch them sufferrrr#putting those guys in situations and watching them squirm#also i kept it mostly dean centric bc he's chuck's favorite doll#i was also going to end it on dean's death but. i could not bring myself to screenshot that so. despair ending so true. that's the last ep#spnsept24#myedits#mygifs
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I never got into Harry Potter, but I have a lot more respect for someone who can say “these books were an important part of my life, but I recognize the pain and harm that comes from supporting them, so I’m making an effort to stop engaging with them” versus someone who’s like “lol the books were always bad, I don’t have to worry about boycotting them because I have Good Taste.”
Like, if you think you never have to think critically about the things you like because you only engage with “Good Art,” then that’s awfully convenient
#this not just limited to hp btw#it’s just the most common example#and it’s one I know where I don’t have personal bias bc I never got into it myself#like the fact that I was more into Rick Riordan than hp does not make me morally superior#I didn’t ’always know’ jkr was shitty — I just liked mythology over wizards#Rick could have turned out just like jkr and then where would that leave me?#id like to think I’d be able to cut his works out of my life
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(who's gonna save you, hero?)
i love whump fics where tim ends up on the ropes alone and doesn't know if anyone's gonna reach him in time
i really really love leonardo romero's inks and jordie bellaire's colors from the "i am the gun" mini telling the zur-en arrh backstory (in batman issues #128-130), so this is another loose style study
i had this frame in mind specifically, altho i couldnt quite commit to the hard inks
ALSO the concept was loosely based off the issues in legacy ('tec (1940) #698-99) where tim goes undercover and then gets nabbed by lockup and his comm cuts off in the middle of telling nightwing what's going on, which also gave us this great (but misleading) cover
#it's about HIS COMM CUTTING OUT MID SITREP oR cutting them off!!! on purpose bc he doesnt want his family to hear him die#when theyre TRYING TO GET TO HIM#tim drake#sart#dc#i really need to get my hands on the collected failsafe volume#also#i am once again asking you to read batman: legacy#(the way i psyched myself out of working on this for like a month+)#i did give him internal bleeding this time haha
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alas, it seems the christmas mystery shall remain unsolved 🎁 happy holidays!
#running a little late on this one but i was determined to get it out this year!!!! i hope you'll enjoy it nonetheless!#there was an additional page i had to cut where kirby bid them all farewell; smacked the wall; and a whole workshop of stuff fell down#but it proved too clunky and too hard to capture within my time limit so you'll just have to imagine it 😂#also this is featuring my festive designs from the advent stickers i did this year!#finally i get to draw boggle eyed kirby and V-face meta knight. christmas present to myself.#happy holidays and best wishes to everybody for the new year!#kirby#bandana waddle dee#meta knight#king dedede#magolor#my art#my comics
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ah, memories...
✩ the gemini ✩ [ start ] [ prev ] [ next ]
#next update is almost done! but im cutting myself some slack coz i just got a New Tattoo and so my drawin arm is a bit... preoccupied lol#gemini au#tw blood#cw blood#blood#leo hates these motherfuckers#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#tmnt 2k18#tmnt 2018#rottmnt au#rottmnt separated au#rottmnt sep au#rottmnt comic#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt disaster twins#rottmnt leo#rise donnie#rise donatello#rise disaster twins#rise leo#rottmnt fanart#rottmnt art#save rottmnt#save rise of the tmnt#save rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#fidgetwing
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The hardest, but most important, part of my transition has been untangling what my personal dysphoria is, and what is more a result of cissexism.
What I mean by this is that I learned that I am not dysphoric about certain aspects of myself, my body, and my life, but my discomfort in these aspects was influenced by the cissexist culture I live in which told me I couldn't exist as myself.
It's definitely a slow process, but I have found that it helps me self-actualize and actually see myself instead of what others demand of me.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#mtf#nonbinary#dysphoria#and what makes this really tricky is that often it isn't clear-cut as to what makes you dysphoric...#...versus what makes you uncomfortable due to your culture or environment...#...i still experience dysphoria but now i find that my motivation isn't to please the people around me...#...if i truly wanted to please the people around me then i would cease to exist altogether...#...and once i truly recognized that and came to terms with this reality i stopped feeling like i owed the world everything...#...i stopped feeling so disconnected with myself...#...i don't think this will be useful for everybody but i want to offer a different approach to it...#...by no means do i think that this is a 'cure-all' in fact it's not even close...#...because what i found that this has done is bring me *closer* to my trans body and my trans soul...#...i have found that my dysphoria has narrowed (especially since going on testosterone) and i feel more at peace
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