#i couldnt waste the opportunity to use it

[mossdogs]

abt your reblog on the latin american classics poll, i wanted to ask why you love rayuela?

i tried to read it but. uhh. 💔 anyway i never finished it but i’m thinking about reading it again

i can understand that its a bit hard to read cuz its rlly rlly long haha. i actually finished it not so long ago and it took me like. almost a year?? so yeah i can understand that its a bit tiring to get over w it

alright back to ur question: one of the reasons why i like it is bc of how unique it is when it comes to the way u read it. the guy basically tells u that u can read it the way u want, theres not a particular order to do so. and thats awesome cuz i have never seen a book with that format!! i mean theres probably a few out there who do, but that was the first thing that caught my attention while i was reading it and, personally, i never had the experience to read one w the exact same way

another thing i like is the way its written, since cortazar uses all these big words and metaphors and im a sucker for those. it feels kind of mysterious in a way?? im not sure if thats the word i want to use but uhhh its great. adds a great atmosphere to the story.

oh and i have to mention ofc that i can relate to it, in a way. not particularly w the story or characters, but the setting. reading a book that mentions traditions, places or stuff thats from the place i was born feels nice. idk i might be cheating w this one cuz theres a whole lot of national books besides rayuela but i felt like i had to mention it.

andd thats it!! it came out pretty long sorry, i love rambling abt stuff lol. u should totally try to finish it tho!! u wont regret it i promise

[danyasblogsblog]

MA MEILLEURE ENNEMIE SIMON RILEY

based of the ‘lovers to rivals’ storyline of jinx and ekko from the series ‘arcane’ if you are HELL BENT on no spoilers for arcane, dont read!!

warnings : mentions of suicide, lovers to rivals trope, reader is a traitor to tf141, angst, beating, killing yk obvi

- you and your once-lover, simon ‘ghost’ riley, re-unite, but not in the way either of you had ever hoped.

the rival between you two was famous between the opposing teams.

the look of pure love and admiration once in both your eyes when you looked at eachother, now replaced with a cold, agitated glare.

but the way your body tensed up when you heard the name, simon riley, was what really got everyone going.

makarov’s shadow stretched upon the walls as his hands lingered over the paintings that scattered around the room. the glass of them reflected off the dim, cheap light in the meeting room, that flickered every few minutes. “the history.. you two have. is it still of any use?” his voice was slow, and you knew what makarov was trying to get you to agree too.

“i wouldnt want to talk to him. its a waste of time, this meeting, sir. captain price could tell him the same thing and he wouldnt agree.” you said, a sharp exhale leaving your mouth. “very well.” makarov’s voice was pointed, and you could tell he wasnt exactly pleased with your answer. not that you could care though- in your eyes, simon wasnt worth your time. but was it the same in your heart?

you stood up and went, the floorboards creaking under your weight as you got up. the dim lights in the meeting room captured your legs’ movements as a looming shadow whilst you turned the door handle and closed it behind you.

your mind flashed to the image of your once- lover. his brown eyes softer when he saw you. the way he would fumble on the battle field when he heard your voice on the comms. the way, sometimes. you missed him.

you remembered the way the task force would tease you two when you had been lovers.

“simon, shes your missus. dont be shy.”

the cheers of the boys’ agreement to price’s statement echoed in the empty safe house. continuous hours had been spent here in this room, joking and shitting around because there was quiet literally, nothing better to do. simon’s eyes, the only visible part of his scarred face, rolled. your quiet giggles as the commotion continued were heavenly sounds to simon.

chuckles escaped everyone’s lips as he grumbled, standing up to give you a kiss on the crown of your forehead. roars of laughter and cheers bounced off the walls. they were all like a family to you.

the family you once had.

they didnt know you were a traitor at that moment.

the memories plagued the back of your head as you walked to your barracks. the next mission you had was extra special- and you knew it was no coincidence that makarov had chosen you for this mission.

you had to sneak into the task force’s safe house over the border of georgia and ukraine. it was a difficult mission- practically suicidal to go through with due to the high stakes, travelling, and of course, task force 141. but you knew only the best, most trusted soliders of makarov’s would be chosen for this task. you knew this was a big deal, and you werent gonna give this opportunity up.

you sat on your thin mattress, your palms digging into your thighs as you thought of how you were slowly forgetting simon’s voice. the deep, gruff voice that soothed you to sleep so many times when nightmares embedded themselves into your head. almost forgotten.

your cracked lips parted as you thought about johnny, kyle and price. how they would kid around with you, treating you like your younger sister. the friendship you had with them was something special- but you couldnt let it happen. after all, it was your destiny to be a traitor.

your eyes scanned the room. the familiar scent of it was nothing new to you. the small cracks in the walls where the ceiling met the wallboards had paint barely clinging to it, and they just waiting for an opportunity to fall. your eyes landed on your sneakers, and old pair, from years before. they still fit, so you decided to just keep using the pair. but that wasnt the only reason.

the fairy lights shone in the dark sky, an embracing contrast. the slow french song blared from the speakers, drowning out most noise. most noise.

simon’s lips tickled your ear as he leaned into your scent, his mask lifted just above his mouth. his face showing was something only you and the task force could see, even if it was only the bottom half, and the scars that littered his jaw were something that truly showed his vulnerability around the people he trusted. you knew simon wouldnt just let anyone see the most sacred parts of his face, but he could trust you. or thats what he thought.

your heart thumped against your chest as you laughed at the cheesey, not at all funny jokes he whispered in your ear. over his shoulder, simon could see johnny and price drunkly giggling at kyle chugging whiskey. ouch. that would definitely come back to bite his ass tomorrow.

your sneakers stepped on his feet as you adjusted to the dance, mumbling a ‘sorry’ as you moved yourself away a bit. simon’s arms, which were wrapped around your waist, allowed themselves to squeeze tighter around your figure, trying to keep you as close to him as possible. “stay close to me.”

the moment felt long lasting, and the feeling of simon gently swaying you to the music made your heart thump harder around your chest. you were lost in your thoughts and love for him until…

“get a room!”

johnny’s voice boomed over the speaker just loud enough so you and simon could hear him. the cackle leaving your lips left your cheeks hurting, as you threw your head back in joy. simon chuckled, his lips curling up slightly. but his eyes werent on johnny, and it wasnt his annoying joke that made him laugh. the look of you genuinely enjoying yourself made him pleased. as if, all the pains he’d been through were worth this moment.

╰ ─┉─¡! • !¡─┉─ ╯

the safe house was cold and damp, and the chilly winter air snipped at your nose. you and your team had decided to split up, and your gun was clenched tightly in your hand, the sweat on your palm rubbing uncomfortably against the cold metal. you slowly let yourself creep around the walls of the desolate, but large, building. the large, glass-shattered paintings looked glossy as the moonlight shone against them. the peeling wallpaper were, most definitely, years old. your free hand rubbed against your jaw, the anxiety of the situation clear as your gut twisted every step you took.

then suddenly, you heard it.

a voice, sharing their bold opinions.

a voice, so familiar.

a voice that, once guided you through painful losses.

the voice of your once-lover.

you tip toed slowly to the direction of the melodic phonics leaving simon’s mouth, your gear shuffling against your vest every time your foot gently touched the ground. your breath hitched as the sound got louder the closer you got the furthest door. your eyebrows knitted and furrowed, as the voice you had once almost forgotten, was now in your ear. you could hear other voices in the background aswell, familiar too. the scottish accent and the voices of your father-figure and best friend let themselves revel in your head as you gently pressed your ear against the door. could it really be them?

then it all stopped.

you could hear a clatter coming from the other side of the house, echoing through the ripped wallpaper and cracked walls. you could hear a meek voice on your comms from your teammate, announcing that you guys had to run.

your footsteps guided you backwards slowly, until you were full on running, sprinting out of the house. suddenly, the long corridor to the exit seemed so far, and the paintings of people laughing and sipping wine taunted you as your feet picked up the pace, pounding against the ground.

you knew the task force had heard it, because if you could, theres no way that they couldnt. you reached the end of the corridor, but the door was locked. you fumbled with the knob, pulling and twisting until it damn near came off. you could barely hear anything over your wild panting, and you could only think of who was going to open that door. would it be price, the man you thought of as your father? could it be kyle, the man who trained you and gave you all the jokes you had now? or would it be your once-lover, simon, the man you once talked about marriage and children with?

you wiped your still-sweaty palms on your clothed thighs, before trying to jiggle the knob again, your desperation seeping through your, usually, stone cold appearance. you swapped your gun to your other hand, using it to try and pull the door open.

your pants and quiet pleads were pathetic, honestly. you kicked the bottom of the door, praying that the wood was moulded and would be easy to kick open. but you remembered that life wasnt so easy.

over the sounds of your heavy breathing, you could hear the faint sound of the door on the opposite side of you open with a slow ‘creeeeaaaakkkk!’

you could feel your heart practically sink.

you slowly turned around, your eyes laced shut, not ready to see who was standing before you on the other side of the hall. you could barely hear anything over the sound of your heart thumping against your sternum, as if it was trying to escape.

your eyes opened.

the tall, broad man with brown eyes was the harsh welcome you were met with. simon’s eyes, once so kind and forgiving to you, were empty and glaring.

a small laugh escaped your lips, realising the gravity of the situation. you got caught. it was the first time simon had seen you since you disappeared.

you remembered leaving in the middle the night for makarov’s helicopter when you found out there was written evidence supporting the fact you were a traitor. nobody could risk you being tortured, especially since you were such an asset to makarov.

your eyes creased as you let your lips curl upwards, pressing into the sides of your face.

“my best enemy,” you chuckled. “im here to greet you!”

your words were cruelty said, and the tone of amusement masked how nervous you truly were. a snicker pulled itself out of your mouth, reverberating at the back of your throat.

“why’d you do it?”

simon’s voice was no longer the sweet, melodic thing it used to be. now, it was harsh, unforgiving and unwelcoming. jeez, you thought, is this even simon?

“you know what they say,” you took a step forward, a chuckle leaving your lips. “keep your enemies close.” a wicked grin cast itself upon your face.

simon lunged towards you, but not in the way someone would a hug.

the wild look in his eyes. you knew he wasnt fucking around.

he tackled you to the ground, practically flying onto you. his, already battered, fists landed themselves onto your face, smashing themselves into your cheeks and mouth, wiping the crooked smile of your face.

the face he once kissed.

the face he once loved, so dearly. trusted so much, when everything seemed so impossible. the face he took pride in showing off, flaunting you practically everywhere.

the smile he once loved, was replaced with the smirk of a devil.

simon looked down onto your, already bloody, face. the crimson leaked from your busted lip and your nose. your mouth was like a mirror of the glass-shattered paintings on the walls, but instead of a little smile, you had an afraid wince casted upon your features.

the look of fear in your eyes was almost impossible to ignore. you let simon’s deep brown eyes meet yours, and the hateful, malicious look on his face softened so quickly into one of hesitation and regret.

he watched the blood trickle down your chin as you whispered a ‘please’ with the strength you still barely had in the moment. after all, simon’s punches werent some shit to giggle at.

his eyes met yours, and he practically melted. the memories flooded back to him, you could tell.

but he didnt know about how your gun was still in your hand, and how it was basically lingering behind his back.

the worst to both of you, was, indeed, you and i.

ma meilleure ennemie.

[starrluvs]

summary: bi han thirst because i need him carnally ... so it's just pwp

cw: bi han being a meanie (he calls reader a whore once or twice), dom/sub undertones, piv, afab reader, degradation, dumbification, lowercase intended, minors shoo pls and ty ^^ , i think thats about it!

wc: 551

a/n: this is basically my first post here. so i think whoring out for bi han is a suitable introduction... enjoy <3 ! (also looking for some mutuals on here ^^)

all you were able to do was whine into the mattress as your lover pounded into you from behind. the fierce impact of his thrusts jerked both you and the bed forward, showing a display of his brute strength and causing the headboard to clash against the wall with his rhythm. 

“bi-han..!” his name was the only coherent thing that could roll off your tongue along with a few pleads of telling the cryomancer to slow down, which only resulted in your head being pushed further into the mattress with a strong, cold grip. “you’re in no place to make orders,” bi-han’s violent thrusts come to a halt and you take the opportunity to catch your breath, “you are meant to obey and take what you are given by your grandmaster, is that understood?” you glance back at him as best as you could with his hand still holding your face down. he looked absolutely beautiful…

his hair was out of its usual bun and was now a disheveled mess that fell to his shoulders with strands sticking to his forehead, and the tip of his ears were tinted with a flush of pink. Knowing only you could see your grandmaster like this made you feel like you had truly won in life. “y-yes, grandmaster…” to no surprise, your obedience caused him to let out a satisfied groan. 

without any more wasted time, bi-han places both of his rough, frosted hands on your hips once again– hard. –and you were sure you were going to see bruises on your skin the next morning that were left on all the places he touched you.

that violent force of his thrusts had returned, except this time he pressed his bigger frame against your back, moving close enough to hover his lips right above your ear. “being used like this…” his breath was cold against your heated skin, letting out occasional groans, “...it’s a privilege to serve and submit to the lin kuei’s grandmaster. isn’t that right, my love?” hearing all the sounds he made along with his deep voice has your mind spinning and unable to concentrate. Perhaps you were truly drunk on his cock– which is something you were used to during your time with bi-han.

as hard as you tried, you couldn't muster a proper response out of your mouth, which was currently hung open with your tongue lolled out, making bi-han scoff. “such a pathetic mess beneath me. are you going to answer my question..?” he licked the lobe of your ear and bit it lightly, “..or do i have to put you in your place?” a shiver runs up your spine… but you couldnt tell if it was due to his threat, or from the close contact he’s been keeping with you. You were able to feel bi-han sharpen his thrusts on purpose, making you squeal out louder than before. “i’m.. honored to serve you, grandmaster,” the words trembled as they left your mouth. but hey, it was the effort that mattered.

you hear bi-han chuckle and hum in what sounds like approval.

 “so my little whore can speak, hm?” for some reason you couldn't exactly read his tone…

“perhaps i may have to go a bit harder, then.”

well shit… Your body was going to hate you the next morning.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: SEMI FINALS

Match 2

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Aki Izayoi

An abuse victim who isn't the perfect passive figure but gets to work through her complicated feelings about power, agency, and family. Even with Yusei's help, she is the star of the show when she learns to control her powers and reconciles with her father, it is so fun that a ygo heroine gets to take such an antagonistic role bu not be shamed for her anger

please vote for my main girl, aki izayoi. aki was led to believe she was a monster from a young age by her father, who treated her powers like it made her unworthy of love. as a result, divine was able to swoop in and take advantage of aki's low self esteem. for years, aki believed herself unworthy of love and was molded into a living weapon at the hands of authority figures in her life. she was taken advantage of, and thus when she finally comes face to face with yusei, she refuses to believe he could provide her with unconditional friendship. who would want to be around a monster, after all?

aki also nearly beats yusei TWICE in a duel, bringing it down to a single turn difference. she comes toe to toe with him, and it truly is the result of who dueled better. she remains a fierce duelist, btw. the second season, aki gets her duel runner license, and immediately nearly beats the ass of a tournament winning turbo duelist - to the point where once again, a single card is the deciding factor. that's right: she nearly won. if not for a single trap card, aki izayoi would've won.

a fierce duelist who was shaped into a loving, caring woman despite years of being beaten down by the world: aki izayoi. vote for her now on your phones.

[geo-winchester]

OKAYYY IM BACKKK!! Don't worry btw, I'm positive it'll turn out great!

So my request is - the reader and Jimmy go to the club with a group of friends and as the night goes by Jimm stays by the readers side and keeps getting turned on by her dancing so he takes her to the bathrooms and they 👉🏻👌🏼

Take as much time as you need!!

THE CLUB

A/N: hi lovely anon, I hope you’re good, thanks for your patience and I’m sorry this took me a while I hope this is what you were waiting for, lots of love and thank you again for your request!!

Warning: this is a smut! So please if you’re under 18 please DO NOT READ! leave this post if you’re not 18+

Taron Egerton’s masterlist

——————

You knew how this day would end, you knew it the moment when you noticed Jimmy was staring at you as you got ready for tonight, and maybe that’s why you decided to put on the new dress he bought you, and you used that perfume he likes. That night it supposed to be a drinks with your friends but you never thought it would be in a club, you could see the smirk at Jimmy’s face as he sees you dancing, at some point he was behind you as you keep dancing, you press a little your butt to him, you feel how he start to get hard, you look at him with a smirk, you were a little surprised when he brought you close to him feeling more his hardness, you gasp when he start to kiss you neck, you turn to him and without wasting any second you kissed him hard, he bites your lip making you groan, he took that opportunity to introduced his tongue in your mouth, making the kiss went deeper.

-Let’s go somewhere else- You said, he didn't need you to tell him twice that sentence, he took your hand and guided you to one of the bathrooms.

-I know it’s not the best place…- you didn't let him finish, you kissed him again and put your arms around his neck.

-I don’t care- you said between kisses, as you brought him close to you, you could feel his hardness brushing your lower belly, he groaned at the friction, one of his hand travel to your chest, you gasp when he squeeze it, you start to undone his belt between kissed and when you got the chance you start to palm him over his trousers. In a second his attitude changed, his kisses were a little more aggressive and in one second he took your dress off, letting you in just your trousers, you start to undone the bottoms of his shirt as you kiss his neck, he groan when he feel your teeth biting. he smirk before he make you sit on the sink before he got on his knees, he took the only piece of cloth you have on you and spread your legs.

-God, you’re so beautiful- he said before he spread your lips and started to play with your clit making you moan, one of your hands traveled to his hair, he smiled as he noticed how you arch your back with every moan.

-Jimmy…- you said and he knew what you need, he pushed two of his fingers in to you, your moans increased and became louder, as he felt how you were close, so he took the changes and add another finger and increased his speed, it wasn't long when you cum on his face, he slowdown his speed as you came down, he stand up and you brought him to you and kiss him, tasting your juices on his tongue, you start to palm him, he was hard and he groan when your hand start to touch his balls.

-Yn- he said, you smirk before you start to kneel but he stopped you -no… I need you now- he said and before you could say anything he turn you around and bend you over, he massage your clit again, before you knew it he pushed himself into you making the two of you moan, he keep his speed for a few moments and he brought you to his chest lifting your leg so he can keep thrusting -Look at you- he said looking at the mirror, you did as he told you and you couldnt help to smirk at the obscene image, your tits bouncing with every thrust he gave you, as if he read your mind his other hand took one of your tits and play with your nipple, the sensation made you moan but that moan became a gasp when he pinch it a little more hard -Shit I love this perfect tits, shit I love all of you- you could feel how the pressure in your belly start to grow but suddenly he get out of you, he suddenly turn around and make you sit on the sink, you watch how he guide himself into you, you kiss him as he push his cock, he increase his speed again, the bathroom start to feel of moans and the noice of his balls crushing into you. You almost scream when he starts to play with your clit -you can be as loud as you want darling- he said.

-Jimmy…

-Are you close, love?- you nod -then do it, come on my cock- it wasn’t long before you scream as you arch your back, you could feel your legs shake, before you get down of your orgasm he came, you could feel the hot of his seed inside you, you brought him to your arms and kiss hims again, the two of you keep smiling between kisses.

-I never thought I'd have sex with my husband in a bathroom.

-Oh I thought about it- he said.

-Really?- he nod.

-Everytime we came to a club and you wore those tight dresses that drove me crazy… uff.

-And why didn't you say something?- he shrugged.

-I didn’t want you to think that i was just trying to get inside your pants, I mean I want to but with you I always want more- He said before he kissed you again, after a while he help you stand up from the sink, you giggle as you were getting dressed -What are you laughing at?

-Can you imagine if we got lucky this time and our baby was conceived in a bathroom?- he giggled as he hugged you, you put your arms around his neck.

-Well I don't care if our baby is a bathroom baby, but if you have a problem with that we can still go home and try again- he said with a wink.

-Then let's go home Mr. Keene.

[newfeeling77]

my problem w AI has nothing to do w art theft or “lazy” art or really anything about art, but the way i see it advertised, the practical applications for school and work or just “what can i cook with these ingredients” it seems to me like if you really use this shit to write or communicate effectively or create something out of nothing then ur wasting an opportunity to get better at any of those things. if you really can’t write a proper email why are you in this fucking office jobbbbb . SUMMARIZING IS A SKILL… COMMUNICATING IS A SKILL… asking a robot to simplify everything for you must be miserable couldnt be me

[one-annon]

PATHETICALLY PRETTY

-- MARK HOFFMAN AND LAWRENCE GORDON - LIGHT 3DSHIPPING --

"ill make it a drabble it wont take me long" -annon 2025 anyway onto my next request story now that i got this out of my system if you see mistakes uhh dont worry theyll be fixed once my good pal points them out and shames me

lawrence never thought he'd be back here. not after he completed his final task as a jigsaw apprentice. 

if he could even call himself that.

really, he didn't do too much for the cause. a few surgeries here and there that logan couldnt complete, and the job of keeping jill safe. the latter of the two was, to john, the most important. lawrence felt the same. the woman was the most sane out of the bunch, plus, he knew how important she was to john. once the man had passed by jeff's hand, lawrence's job was put into action.

he didn't have to worry about it until jill was killed. it was a pretty big annoyance for lawrence. he had to leave work to hunt down some stupid fuck who decided to mess with jigsaws wife. their fault. thankfully, it wasnt his week to care for diana, so he didnt have to worry about her. and to lawrence's luck, the man was none other than mark fucking hoffman.

the pair didnt get along too well. lawrence disliked how mark treated their victims (or their patients, as logan and lawrence called them). he was always too rough. what was the point? it was a waste to use all that good strength for something so violent. maybe lawrence was a little hypocritical for that, seeing how he used his medical skills for malpractice.

(that was what mark hated about lawrence. he was always so god damn hypocritical. he was like john in many ways. speaking of, john treated lawrence like the favorite child, which made absolutely no sense to mark. how the hell did mark do most of the fucking work day after day and get no appreciation? lawrence just sewed some poor fuckers up. it made no god damn sense and it pissed him off.)

whatever. it wasnt like lawrence had to worry about him anymore. the man was locked in that bathroom. that same place he was in for 6 hours. that same place he was in when his (now ex) wife and child were in danger. he was as helpless as mark is currently. well, he cant say that. lawrence had one way of escaping. and to show his success, he had a faux leg. he took that opportunity from mark. 

he wouldnt admit it, but lawrence felt a bit bad for tossing the hacksaw. maybe thats what pulled him to go back. maybe it was the thought that he left yet another man in that bathroom to die. maybe he didnt want hoffman's voice joining adams in haunting the rest of his days. maybe it was the guilt of not going back for adam. maybe he felt like he could fix abandoning the other by shaming the man currently in the bathroom.

lawrence really has gone off the deep end hasnt he? oh well. it wouldnt be the first time. 

opening the door was a bit tough, especially with his foot. once he got it open, the sight in front of him concerned him - shocked him even.

hoffman was curled up on the floor, his back facing the door. he looked..pathetic. dead, almost. if it werent for the slight shiver as lawrence entered and flicked the lights on, he wouldve thought mark had passed already. hoffman lifted his head, perhaps he thought he was being saved? maybe mercifully killed? the man looked weak. lawrence doesnt think he's ever seen him so fragile. 

"hello, mark." lawrence muttered, hobbling his way over to the man.

he didnt speak, didnt move. just kept his eye on lawrence before setting his head back on the floor. had he lost hope so quickly? it would make sense. lawrence had taken his only chance to survival. whatever. lawrence didnt care. he cared just as much as he did about adam. he cared the same amount as his family who was being held at gunpoint by his orderly while he was speaking with them over the phone just across the room. (he cared. he just couldnt admit it. not about this man.)

"what do you want?" mark asked. his voice held no confidence, no bite. he was a shell of the man he used to be. he was nothing. lawrence pitied him.

lawrence took a deep breath. his eyes drifted to the corpse next to mark. "just came to check on you. see if you were dead. I'm surprised you've lived so long. it's been.." lawrence checked his watch, "about a week." 

mark huffed, rolling onto his back and sitting up with a grunt. lawrence had time to study his figure. his eyebags were worse than before. maybe he hadnt been sleeping too well. the man had lost body weight, though his puffy jacket definitely gave him some bulk. he looked pathetic. excuse lawrence for continuously saying it but it was the only word he could use to describe the man. he looked as bad as adam.

"well..im not dead." he grumbled, avoiding eye contact with the oncologist.

larry slowly moved his hand down, taking note of how hard mark flinched. his whole body quivered with just the approach of his hand. fuck. lawrence would never admit the power trip he got from that alone. he set his hand atop marks head, slowly running his finger through his sweaty, dirty hair. "youre disgusting." he whispered, voice laced with a smile full of hatred and venom.

mark let out a shaky breath. he swallowed hard. he didnt bite back like lawrence was expecting. had this whole experience changed the man that much? maybe he would look at the three bodies with him and think it's over. good. thats exactly what lawrence wanted for this...this hideous creature. he wasnt even sure mark could be called a person anymore. he wasnt sure the fucker deserved a name. he wasnt human.

it wasnt human.

this vile monster. this killer. it wasnt human and lawrence needed it to know that. the more time lawrence spent in this room, the less guilt he felt for the killer's outcome. he deserved this, that son of a bitch. zep deserved his fate. so does mark. a surge of anger jolted through lawrence. he scoffed, spitting down onto the creature at his feet. disgusting thing.

mark didnt even flinch. he kept his gaze on the tile floor, watching the saliva splatter onto his shoes. he didnt have the energy to fight anymore. he was destined to die. he told john amanda would fail him, and while she did, mark had too. he went against the whole jigsaw fantasy and killed to kill, but he had his reasoning. if mark was being honest with himself, he had nothing left.

he lost his sister. he had gotten his revenge on baxter. almost everyone in the precinct was dead. john, amanda, rigg, matthews..everyone he even gave a slight shit about was dead. he had taken care of jill. logan moved back down to texas. it was just him left. he was supposed to be the final apprentice. then this blonde son of a bitch had to ruin that for him.

mark wanted to go out with a bang. he had so much god damn pent up anger that he couldnt help himself but want to feel the rush of someones life draining by his hands again. he was taught to not feel any emotions with it, no regret, no remorse. and he didnt. he was taught well. he still felt one emotion from it though - euphoria.

maybe he has become a cold blooded serial killer. whatever. this place was better than some fuck ass prison. at least he could die without anyone seeing him.

he became aware of lawrence's presence again when he felt that hand back in his hair. maybe he could convince lawrence to set him free. he could take his bag and his money and he could flee the state. maybe he could go down and live with logan. logan was good to him, he liked logan. he treated him like an actual person and not just some monster like lawrence was. the hand in his hair was sickenly sweet. he hated it.

the doctor sighed. his feelings were mixing together. he couldnt tell if he felt rage and disgust or pity and sorrow. mark lifted his head, locking eyes with lawrence. his face was blank. no thoughts. no emotion. nothing. just blank. lawrence couldnt tell if the man was plotting to kill him or plotting to lay back down and go to sleep. he looked..beautiful. call lawrence a sadist but seeing him so utterly broken was making his face heat up. maybe this apprenticeship changed him. 

he saw marks lips move, but he didnt process the word he spoke. not until he said it again, this time a hand lifting to grip onto lawrence's new, freshly pressed, dress pants. ugh, he just cleaned these. stupid bitch couldnt keep his hands to himself.

"please."

gordon swears he's never heard mark utter that word before. but now, with him in the room, he was blessed with hearing it. a smile tugged at his lips. was mark begging for his freedom? was he begging for lawrence to leave the room so he could die peacefully and alone? he knew how alone mark was. he's felt that - especially after his and alison's divorce. he had the urge to tell mark that it would be okay, but then he would look to the rotting man next to him and he knew it wouldnt be okay. well, for mark.

"please what?" he asked instead.

mark was quiet for a long few seconds. he inhaled shakily, preparing himself for the humiliation that is soon to follow. his hand tightened around the fabric in his hand, like he was scared lawrence was going to leave him if he didnt keep his grip. lawrence has felt that sort of hold before, years ago. he took another quick glance at adam before looking back to the horrible man.

"please, gordon." he repeated, voice cracking just slightly. he swallowed hard. "let me go. i wont even bother you. ill leave town, i wont do anything else. i just..i want to go. i want to live."

i want to live. hes heard those words too many times before. he didnt want to hear them from this man. he couldnt. lawrence pulled himself away from mark, his legs suddenly feeling rather shaky.

"i cant." he whispered, "there are..rules."

fuck. he sounded just like that bastard. is this how zep felt? is this how it felt to look someone in the eyes and tell them that they had to die because of the rules? he's been here before - in this exact place. but now it felt..he felt powerful. even if he was shaking just slightly he felt powerful. he was following what john wanted, but he got to control it all 

mark seemed to panic as he stepped away. "no-..no lawrence. cmon..please! he's dead, he wont know!"

but adam would, lawrence wanted to say. adam would know. he was right there. lawrence could still hear his screams as he stepped back, hauling his suddenly all too heavy prosthetic off the floor for the one step. even is he felt so powerful and angry, he still couldnt help but remember the man he promised a good life to. he couldve been a vet. mark couldve been a good detective. 

no, he couldnt. lawrence needed to stop thinking like that. mark deserved this. he deserved to die. just like lawrence did. he didnt win the game. he lost. and yet he walked free.

and here he was, walking free again. away from a man who, even if he didnt deserve it, wanted another chance at life. lawrence was simply following his orders. even if mark did the same thing that matthews guy did, he had no chance of escaping. the door would be too heavy. mark didnt have that strength anymore and lawrence didnt have his confidence. he felt just as pathetic as mark.

lawrence stumbled to the door, drowning out the screams of terror from a man he was going to leave behind again. this is the third time. he was never coming back to this damn place. if logan wanted to continue the games, he could. brad and ryan could help him too. lawrence didnt have it in him - no matter how much he craved that sweet euphoric feeling of power. maybe thats what mark had felt when he killed jill. 

the handle on the door was cold in his gloved hand. it seeped through the leather and pricked at his skin. he turned to look back at mark, watching his chest heave and tears start to well in his eyes. the first time he got to experience this, mark cursed him out, yelled and shouted at him in pure anger. now, he just sobbed, screaming out in pure agony and defeat. 

lawrence didnt follow the rules. mark didnt either.

"you brought this upon yourself, hoffman. im sorry." he whispered, eyes looking past the living being he was trapping yet again.

the door closed, encasing the room and mark in the dark.

[welcome-to-my-hoard]

Well. Demo was the first guy we found. Not much help given that he was drunk off his ass, but can't blame the guy for getting wasted on a day off, I guess.

Luckily, we ran into Frenchie! He doesn't like me (I always use my terrible Canadian French in front of him. He gets redder than his suit, it's FUNNY AS HELL) BUT! He did take the opportunity to reprimand Scout for not knowing such "basic knowledge" (his words, not mine).

He has taken it upon himself to teach Scout said knowledge, and dragged him off somewhere. (I really couldnt care less)

Oh joy,

I finally get to change my disgusting pants!

[autisticbisexualemaskye]

OH also as u can tell i finished mythic quest. season three was... dissapointing. brad and his gaggle of autistic women were great as always and Sarian was an AMAZING episode, 10/10, no notes, but the season overall? ian was MIA and poppy just... didnt really work without him. dont get me wrong i love her and she has great dynamics with the rest of the cast but overall grimpop was a HUGE missed opportunity and making dana ian 2.0 was a poor choice. dont get me wrong, i was rooting for them to team up in season two, but thats because i thought ian could give her what she wanted, not because shes identical to ian. shes certainly not so up her own ass that she thinks "confidence" and "total disconnect from reality" are the same thing. ian? definitely. rachel? unconsciously. but dana? no fucking way. she never felt like she had a unique place in the grimpop team. minimizing the scenes with her and rachel i would have actually loved to see if it helped give both of them more depth and solo development since their romantic relationship was built up as their main character arcs from the start, but dana just took away from ian and poppy's dynamic and didnt get any development of her own until basically the very end.

now, dont get me wrong, AGAIN, it makes a lot of sense that ian doesnt want to work on poppy's game. hes egotistical and unmotivated and childish and self centred. but they seriously waited until the season fucking finale to work that out? a conflict between the two main characters that has one of them just... absent from the narrative? conflict is the core of poppy and ians relationship but if they don't have any scenes together the conflict becomes BORING. and they had the perfect opportunity to work it out! when hera failed. when the playtesters told her it was technically perfect, but not fun to play. ian makes fun games. ian is really good at making fun games. theyre supposed to be partners. why couldnt he have helped her with this? why couldnt this have been the moment where she realizes that, just like ian, she needs help creating her vision? that even though she can build things and have big ideas, she cant do everything all on her own all the time? instead she and dana throw her vision away to focus on a project she hates and thinks is bad. its total fucking bullshit and a complete waste of an arc.

which, as a side note, i still dont totally understand the difference between hera and playpen. theyre both sandbox games, yes? where the point is to build something yourself, entirely from scratch? so what makes playpen fun and hera not? is playpen more customisable, is it easier to control? is hera too difficult, is it not difficult enough, is it too bare or too micromanaged? this feels like something we couldve gone into instead of just tossing hera out. there are tons of games like that out there already. minecraft, the sims (all FOUR installments, plus simcity), cites:skylines, roblox, all of them extremely popular and extremely fun. why not hera? again, a question the narrative gets out of answering by throwing the game out.

and FINALLY when the grimpop dispute does get solved, their solution is "you be who you are, and ill be who i am, and neither of us changes or improves or alters our dynamic in any way"? what a FUCKING cop out. the previous seasons, so far, have ended with poppy and ian trying to mend their dynamic into something more stable and mutually beneficial, where both people (poppy, mainly, but having it be her game this time SHOULD have been an interesting subversion) feel seen and heard, where neither of them feels subservient. you want to watch the next season to see how they develop and how their dynamic shifts. but in the season 3 finale they just straight up tell you, in the show, that they're done trying to change, and then they abandon their partnership and go back to work at mythic quest. season 3 was such a wasted season in terms of the grimpop dynamic, and neither of them develop any kind of compelling relationship with the other characters either. the closest we get is dana, who, again, is turned into ian 2.0 because apparently they couldnt develop her existing character any further or use the actual ian grimm in any of her scenes with poppy. again, dana and ian have similarities, but shes not ian! and she shouldnt have had to be!

ok. rant done. if u disagree u may write me a strongly worded essay in the comments or we could just have a conversation okie dokie i love u ^_^

[sqvar3w4ve]

the whole 1975 thing pisses me off. people cant seem to comprehend that this isnt some black and white situation where its just homophobia because its so much more than that. i couldnt care less if he jacked off on stage, the problem is that he did this in a country thats incredibly queerphobic and because of that is incredibly strict on what bands can play here and what they can and cant do/say. We malaysians don't get alot od international bands as is, so bands like this and the strokes coming here of all places in our shit hole country is huge. but him saying and doing all that did this:

- cancelled the entire event because our government caught wind of it and shut it down after the first night when it was supposed to go on for 3

- probably made the rules and restrictions for bands to play here even tighter

- made other bands hesitant to play here

- maybe even tightened up the laws on queer people here in general, even more worse than they already are

- possibly put a lot of queer malaysians in general in danger because if the pigs suddenly decided to investigate the event further and question the organisers or people who attended and those people happened to be queer and they found out? theyre going straight to jail because that's how queer people are treated here by our government

yeah there are a good chunk of people here angry purely because of homophobia, that fact isnt something that can be denied or glossed over. but the most important thing here is the queer people that are gonna be put in danger. we're already consistently used as a political scape goat. but now we've finally started to take baby steps in the right direction of progress after finally electing the first pm in our history thats leftist (when in reality he's centrist at best) and now with how matty healy behaved and what he said, our governments fear of queer people have been confirmed and we might be in even more hot water. they've already discussed about making being queer a mental illness and this might give them the push to confirm everything.

what he did did nothing but do bad. we didnt need some white guy to tell us how oppressed we are, how queer people are ridiculed discriminated and abused, trust me buddy, we've lived here all our lives, we know, we dont need any white saviour telling us this.

people will scoff at countries like Malaysia because of how queerphobic it is and simply throw any empathy and kindness out the window, but people seem to forget that this queerphobia exists for a reason. the queerphobia here exists because WE exist, because WE QUEER MALAYSIANS EXIST. it doesn't just exist just because, they're hateful of us because we are here, they're hell bent on getting rid of us because we are here.

I've seen some people say "then just don't get international bands" why? why dont we get to have the opportunity to see the bands we like? why dont we get to have fun? what makes so inherintly lesser that we dont get to indulge in stuff like this like people from other countries do? we already are barred from being openly queer, is it so much to ask that we just want to have a good time by seeing bands we love? do we not deserve that just because people think our government and the shit heads here represent our entire country, acting like theres absolutely no queer communities here constantly fighting for our right to exist? is that why people think so lowly of us?

queer malaysians are now in danger and our progress have been set back 50 steps thanks to matty healys "activism". I understand that he did it in good faith, but it just came off as entitled, privileged and selfish, especially with how he handled it after the fact.

if you're here to argue or insult me on this post, dont bother, im blocking you. im not wasting my time.

[not-souleaterpost]

WARIO WARE - the only good video game franchise

I'll have seen some yt comment make the same point, but they had some edgelord name, so I guess I'll have to do it again here:

I think to demonstrate my point I'll describe my experience of having to play the latest entry under non-ideal conditions: This one uses motion controls in a very extensive and involved way, so having a tv screen and space seems like a must have - but I played through the whole "story" (basically the tutorial before the fun begins) by just putting the console-screen on my lap and trying my best to balance it why having to deal witht the motion controls while sitting (even though many require full body movement) - hell the console isnt even mine so I couldnt even be flippant on how I treat it so it doesnt break. But the point is, that the game both does things to accomadate stupid people like me who try to do it that why (by basically giving unlimted continues the first time you try to beat a stage) and is so fun, charmring and creative that you put up with it - like a few bosses that seemed impossible with the way I did it and that I only beat after many attempts were piss easy when I finally got an opportunity to play it on a big screen with full movement space and all.

So yeah that sums it all up - what other game is actually this fun to play, what franchise besides it doesnt just devolve into grinding, wasting time on endless skiner boxes, what franchises has the childish yet charming humor that actually makes one laugh out without it feeling either forced or drenched in to much cynical irony?

I basicaly played all the instalments of the franchise (besides the Wii U one, but many even dont count that one, or the Gamecube one,but that is seemingly a port of the original game with some multiplayer modes added so +-) and I can say that they all have something to offer and the fact that theyre gameplay is so rare yet evergreen doesnt make it feel like some zombie franchise that should just die - from the orignal that introduced the concept, to DIY that actually made you create micro games and comics and music yourself, to the previous release "get it together" which had an gimmick that even if controversial I absolutely appreciated for actually trying to do something new and give a twist as it should - to this, which revists and expands the concept of "Smooth Moves" - a fan favorite.

So yeah, guess what I'm trying to say is that even if I kinda dislike Video Games as they are these days and how they are treated as some faux "identity", with people defending their favorite skinner boxes as if they were they're religion, I will allways apreciate this one little series, no matter how many "true gamers" that watched to many video essays cry about "We want WarioLand instead!!!!"

[dreams-of-klag]

also, speaking as someone who has spent the past year grading hundreds of essays, it is so disheartening to read obviously ai written work. The first professor i worked for used ai detection software, so when something flagged in the system, i knew i could just skip it and the student would get a 0. But the second professor i worked for didnt use detection software and there were so many essays i had to read that were obviously written by a robot, but because we coulnt prove anything we couldnt do anything about it, so I had to waste my goddamn time reading drivel churned out by a robot. Dont waste your TA's time. They are also students with too much work to do, overwhelmed with the volume of it. When you use chat gpt, youre not only losing a learning opportunity, you are also wasting the time of an overworked grad student. I love every student who wrote weird essays, who brought up side points that theyre interested in. Write with voice, write with interest. Your TAs will thank you and it will also make writing into a more fun process.

it's so fucking frustrating to be in college and know everyone uses chatgpt and to be tempted by it constantly while also knowing intellectually that it doesn't work and it's a bad idea. like, i hang out in the library a lot, and i see people using chatgpt on assignments almost every day. and i know it isn't a good way to learn, because it's not really "artificial intelligence" so much as it is an auto text generator. and it gives you wrong information or badly worded sentences all the time. but every week i stare down assignments i don't want to do and i think man. if only i could type this prompt into a text generator and have it done in 10 minutes flat. and i know it wouldn't work. it wouldn't synthesize information from the text the way professors want, it wouldn't know how to answer questions, it just spits out vaguely related words for a couple paragraphs. but knowing my classmates get their work done in 10 minutes flat with it while i fight every ounce of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in my body is infuriating.

[dandelion-eyelashes-sf]

I do not have wings love / i never will soaring over the world you are carryin’ / if these heights should bring my fall / let me be your own icarian carrion /

I had this song on repeat in October / November 2023 and i was unemployed and i was scared and stressed and my chest felt tight and hollow and i couldnt see how things would turn out. I was in the process of applying to a job that would potentially take me out of state and i was deeply sad and wistful and i had let down my sib big time and i was stuck and paralyzed by anxiety and couldnt stop myself from hiding in my room and i was ashamed and sick with worry and tired of myself and tired of this feeling of dread and desire. I would sit in the balcony and watch the sunset, feel the autumn cool. I was yearning for the end and yearning for that job and yearning for what it could be and praying to a god i dont believe in, promising that id make the most of the opportunity, that id use the money for good, that i wouldnt take it for granted. That id be worthy of it. Maldita pobreza la odio.

I felt guilty for wanting to leave, for wanting to escape the disappointment i created. I was sad cuz i didnt want to go either. My bank account felt like a ticking time bomb and the only way out was this job. But i didnt actually want to leave my sibling. Not after realizing how much time i let go, how much time i wasted. Why did i do that? Why couldnt i change quicker?

Its been a while since then and we’ve talked about it and seen each other and we’re good. But also i miss them and i wish i had moved under different circumstances. I feel like i only made their life harder unnecessarily during that time. All cuz why? To get a job cuz i couldnt find a job in that city, cuz i didnt get off my ass and go irl to coffee shops and stores to ask for a job. Cuz i was too scared and anxious. I dont know. I just miss them all. I miss that city. Im so tired of being anxious all the time.

-I was looking for a job and then i found a job heaven knows im miserable now-

Im not miserable, per say, but the anxiety doesnt let up. Its been about 7ish months in this new job and at this old city. And ive seen my sib a handful of times and i miss them but also know they love me. I hold on to that knowledge for dear life. I feel like i crash landed in this job and hit the ground running without pause. Ive been so tired. I been so stuck in my bad habits and vices to numb and escape. I feel like now is the first time ive been able to feel and begin to process all of that.

[bestygogirl]

BEST YGO GIRL: FINAL ROUND

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Isis Ishtar

gorgeous, very caring sister, strong duelist, and the only woman to ever make Seto Kaiba squirm

anyways. not only as mentioned above is she the first woman to make kaiba squirm, but she was by all means going to beat him if not for the millennium rod's millennium interference. yami marik admits that she's a strong duelist with a strategy that's been working for literal years-- and given that she's not like, a professional duelist, thats pretty impressive

she also recently got some really cool meta bumps and let me point out that an "ishizu deck" now includes obelisk the tormentor-- which we knew she had prior to giving it to kaiba, but i think it only solidifies my opinion that she very much could wield an Egyptian God Card, an exclusive little club for top tier duelists

as a character she presents herself with an amazing amount of poise and grace, shes compassionate and kind and stays with mai and serenity even though she only just met them. shes struggling through living the past 5 years of her life drowning in guilt for her family's tragedy just because she wanted to make her little brother happy and shadi is a fucking liar. shes foretold her own death and marches towards it grimly but with so much love in her heart. and even then shes 20 years old and holds an important position in the egyptian government that typically requires a doctorate degree AND has been dealing with mariks off-and-on bullshit entirely by her lonesome. she also likes to flex her fortunetelling a little which is awesome i think she should do that more that scene where she tells the guy exactly how the stele is being transported was so everything

speaking of shes got such an attitude. "is it your destiny to waste my time?" iconic. never seen before will never be seen again. watch the duel between her va and joeys its so fucking funny

shes excult. shes doesnt flinch in the face of god nor death. seto kaiba and yami marik respect her. shes so sad and so sweet and battle city couldnt have happened without her.

also her parallels with kaiba are what motivate kaiba to give yugi the card he needed to beat marik.

kaiba, in duelist kingdom, was ready to jump off a ledge if yugi didnt let him through to face pegasus while trying to save mokuba out of sheer desperation to save his little brother. he KNOWS what that dedication feels like and the iron kind of will you need to have to make that kind of gamble. isis is being so fucking legit with what shes saying and he respects that and her judgement enough to change his mind and not only watch the duel, but give yugi a card that eventually helps him win, even if he has no real confidence in the odds. but theres a CHANCE, which is the same thing he taught her when he beat her in a duel. the layers its her faith that moves him to act. which is so crazy

anyway vote isis shes my best friend forever and a real rep for all the 20 year olds who honest to god did not sign up for this bullshit

Yuzu Hiragi

The entire show would not work if the cast wasn't obsessed with her, and they're all right to stan her, literally gets Sora and Serena to defect from Academia with her sheer charisma, beat Masumi at their gay little rivalry, Yugo spends a few days with her and is ready to die for her, Yuya is simply just the loudest about adoring her And why not? She is so clever and determined, doing the most work out of anyone to figure out the myth plot. Actively trains to keep up with the rest of cast. Even when the universe is conspiring against her and trying to keep her down, she fucking headbutts Roger and tells him off or manifests to help save the world in the ultimate girlboss team-up that was the Arc V finale. Truly any dimension without her is worth upending.

The mysterious magical bracelet that isekai's her to different worlds, the Can-Do attitude, the cool poses (fusion summoning), the ADORABLE character design, AND she was 1/4 of a world-saving hero in the past?? If it weren't for the meddling writers, she would have been the main character

yuzu is everything. literally the plot of arc v hinges on the fact everyone who meets her become just as obsessed with her. and they are totally right to do so

[kurstudying]

Change

Long time no see!

Helloo~

It's been months since my last post, my summer wasn't that great, I got into my desired uni and grade (I didn't know what was coming ahead) In summer I spent July going into Korean classes, later I found a job and worked in untill September (when I started clases) Every free day I had I spent it playing videogames like Resident Evil or watching videos on youtube (and more) I don't have many friends, but its fine.

The first day of Uni was horrible, and then horrible untill December I decided to quit, because it was bringing me nothing good, I love architecture but...there were MANY problems for me: I had to take 4 hours by train everyday (not a big problem) but I used to study in the afternoons, and I ended up coming home untill 22...23...sometimes...midnight (the train used to delay a lot) That caused me extreme anxiety everyday... And I had to stay overnight to study or finishing projects or I would just go to sleep because of my tiredness, has been horrible to me. I used to do every drawing late, I would always skip classes when I had an exam around the corner, I never studied because I always was feeling too tired and my mind was telling me to stop, plus i cant do anything on the train because i had to finish projects that were more manual...

Besides that, I didnt understand anything from classes and always felt dummier than others (still do)

So after a night of wanting to finish like 10 homework drawings from classes I missed from drawing subject, I ended up crying at 3 am. I didnt want to live like this everyday for 5 years. This isn't the uni experience I wanted; tiredness, bad anxiety and not taking care of my body. I had a goal with that degree, but I still can make It without It!

So after going to my parents room at 3am crying, I told them that I didnt want to continue going there, they knew i had been feeling down for the lasts months, so they understood. I had a talk with my father the next morning, while crying...

The nexts days and weeks I ended up worrying to much about what I wanted to study. It took me months to decide.

I like; science, phsyics, art, videogames, universe, math, design, biology, political science, sociology I like to talk about issues around the world...

I was between law, law and political science, criminology, engineering aerospace, biomedical engineering and more.

I ended up choosing biomedical engineering, I saw a girl explaining her degree and making videos about It. I'd loved It.

But when I saw the scord of admission... My world fell down... It was 12.611/14. It was imposible for me to go in. Besides, they only admited 20 people on the degree.

But I didnt give up, I wanted to retake the exam admissions. I decided to retake them even if i had to have a 10 on every exam.

Bad idea...

I ended up pocrastinating untill 2 months before, I studied on April and May like 300 hours... Not enough...i payed 360€ for these classes of preparation...not enough... (im saving the material, so its not a waste)

But this week... It has been horrible, I couldnt even study more, my body was telling me to stop working, i have bad anxiety and I have been diagnosed with adhd. I wanted to do the exams, but for what? I know I wont get the perfect scores, and I have been having this stress and anxiety for nothing! Im going to do a degree of tech lab and biomedicine, its not a uni degree, but this way I can get to my desired uni, or even go to study abroad the degree I want! Its another opportunity to get myself together and make my dream come true, no Matter if I have 21 years old. I always wanted to study abroad and im going to make It, even if I failed twice this year.

[whatagirlwants]

I’m not trying to be confrontational and I know you want to talk about other things, but why is it vicious that he might have feelings for Olivia again? He was very mad at her for a while but then potentially being on okay terms and him catching feelings again doesn’t seem evil. Is it because you think he’s using her for clout and that these aren’t genuine feelings? Or because him having these feelings proves that he was still into her when he was with Sabrina?

no its okay u can ask if u have questions about this topic.

vicious in a sense why sabrina finds him vicious? its more than just him suddenly having feelings for olivia. i mean she sings about it: its the way he left her and the way things went down between them, the back and forth with him. he cant makeup his mind. i think theres layers to it and especially with those 2 things were complex for months even after they “brokeup”

tbh just my opinion from all this; i think s feels used cause he jumped from that relationship to having a relationship with her and then when shit hit the fan he couldnt take it and left.

i do think in some way he’s using o for attention. its no secret his tiktok comments are all jolivias any song he would post they’d always assume its for her. so in a way when he’s posting his lyrics now there or does things where it links him to O so it does mean its also for attention even if his feelings are genuine.

and we’ve seen S question him and his feelings for her in lonesome.

but yeah thats just how i see things idk id be pissed too. the guy brokeup with olivia the first time so fast so he could shoot his shot with sabrina… he wanted something from her then even if he was doing it unintentionally and actually liked her. but you dont just change your mind and leave and suddenly have confused feelings.

id be pissed too. id be like damn that guy cant make up his mind. S in lonesome she expresses feeling used like just an opportunity for him. he wanted a collab. she was more established. she has connections. she has recourses…etc

your question is a little off cause im not the one to call him vicious but i get why she felt that way or describe him as that in the song. and it was so many things in the song that she listed that made her call him vicious. the only thing she had to say about him and O is “when you’re insecure could be me could be her”. Sabrina’s hurt i think she feels like she wasted her time and its clear she never had answers thats what decode is about. theres no reason to understand things or try to fix things or understand why he left she just had to walk away too.

anyways back to ur question.. why do i find tha vicious? i just find that weird. he clearly has issues that he should’ve dealt with since 2020 instead he lead 2 girls on and had her wasting her time.

but oh well the musics good at least. it does feel like shes moved on but i dont think theres anything wrong with vicious. like i said if we just look at the situation the way it is and then listen to vicious like she has a right to be pissed off when she was and write it. cause that’s literally what happened.