#i couldn't even make it to 2 years | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cutest-bunny-writings · 11 months ago

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I think I'm gonna quit writing.

Hateful criticism that's being masqueraded around as "constructive" is what's being given to me every time I present anything from a tiny drabble to the equivalent of a small novelette.

And this is mostly happening in an academic setting, so it's just making my love for it outside of an academic setting slowly rot away to dust.

Have I just been a bad writer this whole time? Was everybody just lying to me? Or did I just lose my touch and now I suck at something I used to love because I'm starting to hate it?

I don't know what to do. All that effort put in so I could be given some kind of validation to being a writer and now it doesn't matter.

I feel of no intellectual value, even in the smallest sense. And it appears that my peers and colleagues think the same of me.

These past few weeks I have just been thrown a whole lot of fancy ways to say "you suck" and "you don't matter" in regards to my writing.

The one thing that I can look back on and kind of be okay with the grade I got and not really question it to much is the notes/essay/report I did on Roots by Alex Haley (good book but really hard to read).

So I'm leaning heavily on the possibility of quitting and taking all my writings down forever because that tiny sliver of niceness is not enough to convince me that my writing will ever matter in the slightest, even if it is just for fun.

#quitter #i'm just not as in love with it as i used to be #i couldn't even make it to 2 years #i feel ashamed of myself #i feel smaller than an electron on an atom #and i feel bad about all of this because i haven't posted anything for you guys in so long

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taamlok · 1 month ago

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people are already unironically saying that every sacked bioware employee should go work for larian and then larian should buy dragon age aisdghjk girl after the trauma of the veilguard development timeline the last thing any of those people need is to work for larian

#first of all davrin would get the wyll treatment and taash would get the karlach treatment (ignored)#so idk why you would want that for the diversity in dragon age #larian also severely undermined their writers in favour of fan service. case and point wyll ravengard.#they had shadowheart quoting fandom memes too like be so fr you guys couldn't even handle taash saying crap #what i learned from bg3 is that if i ever touch another larian project again i should wait minimum 2 years post-release to buy #because they STILL have that poor dev team making changes. the game came out in 2023 #i do not wish that on the long suffering bioware team. i hope they all get to work on cool projects with studios who respect their talent

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gxtzeizm · 6 months ago

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the fact that me, as a fan of both lando and oscar without any bias (maybe a bit on lando but not that much), is going to witness both "oscar fans, lando antis" and "lando fans, oscar antis" posts all in my one dash 🥲🥲

also the fact that atp i couldn't even bother enough with this same situation on both lewis and george. now it happens on lando and oscar as well which got me like....

#landoscar #lando norris #oscar piastri #f1 #maybe i need to admit atp rn that #this sport is just not built for a person like me istg 🙂🙂#like....i miss the moments 2 years ago where what i only care the most is only football and football only #and couldn't even give a fuck more about guys being in circles vroom vroom #i mean thank god that there's a bayern match just now right after the race ended #which really liften my mood up and distract myself a bit from intimidating discourse and whatsoever #hmmmm ngl maybe the fact that being a football football fan in general especially in this website really brings a comfort in me #meanwhile for f1...idk why but everything about it (especially during race and after race) really overwhelms me a lot seriously speaking #maybe the fact that football is more team oriented sport #meanwhile f1 is more individual oriented despite there are teams consists of 2 individuals #and the fact that me supporting multiple individuals in a one same team despite that f1 is individual oriented sport #kinda gets me digging my own grave atp tbh #i mean when i said individual oriented sport...it kinda means that in a perspective of most of the f1 fans #and now seeing all every kinds of discourse on my dash really makes me overwhelming a lot i'm ngl #that the fact that i couldn't able to curate my own preference for this f1blr space on my dash 🥲🥲🥲#goddddd srsly tho i just want to turn back time where i only cares about bayern frankfurt and germany nt only ffs 🫠🫠🫠🫠#but yeah who am i to turn around the past 🙃🙃...and plus that once i'm getting into one hyperfixation there's no turning back at all for me #so yeah #goddddd i'm so sorry but i'm just being so fucking messy rn #like all the things that i see on my dash really exhausts my brain and my thought process forreal i really need to throw up forreal srsly :(

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jash-updates · 10 months ago

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Most normal energy drink consumer

#new tags time yippee #cj updates #so there's some old-ish tags here lol #i had this saved for a while actually. just didnt know if i wanted to post goofs yet #old tags:#i will say i personally cannot make fun of him for that #as i was [still am even] overly invested in drinking mnt dew #they used to sell a full liter mnt dew bottle for like a dollar at the stores near me & id take one to school a lot an drink the whole thin #[Sometimes id be able to get a whole 2 liter. Tho I couldn't drink the whole thing during the day [mainly just to save it for later rlly]]#which i would then have after the can id get every morning.....#im better now i swear #tho it was always very funny when i had a class with a friend where id slowly pull the very long bottle out from my bag #the face they would make is always so funny to me still #so i have a feeling i know *exactly* what face his teacher made #either like a mix of astonishment & confusion or its just disappointment #a “why are you like this” typea look #its great #however his story is still horrifying #i drink monster a bit & like one can is enough for me for a day [if i can finish it even]#maybe if i clutched onto that instead of mnt dew during school years id be just like him then #im in the good timeline thank god #rant over lol my bad

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sysig · 1 month ago

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Always Webkinzing (Patreon)

#Doodles #Webkinz #OFF #Helix #Dexter Favin #Max Vyer #Mix of old and new doodles now that we're coming up on the end of the year #Don't worry about what day it is pay no attention to the calendar sh shh the year is coming to a close #That first Zum doodle was from fairly early in the year! Well before I got back into playing #I just always love Zums they're always waiting in the wings of my mind #Hehe #That particular Peeky isn't a perfect matching of anyone but they're not that far off from Zana I suppose :0 #No reference doodling strikes again lol #I have since looked Very Closely at Zum designs they are always so interesting to me <3 #I'd like to study their rarity sometime again too ahh the fun! I really wish Zumwhere wasn't a Deluxe unlock hweh #Spider plush! Fake fan that's not even a Webkinz! I wish it was tho #No we picked him up while out Webkinz thrifting - did find my lilKinz Lioness during the same run! Score!#But I mean - he's a plush spider how could I not get him he's so cute #I believe his name is Peepers as well like - I had no choice here I Couldn't Not it was very important #He lives in the plush hammock in smol and my room now :) And he's very cute! Little bow tie ahh adorable #More characters through the Webkinzifier! Yaaay #Had to toss an Elsen through - little marshmallow lads! Make a little Zone 1/2/3 room - 2 would be a library so that's easy #3's factory aesthetic probably Could be copied...there's even a Wonka-style candy factory oh no lol too perfect #I imagine Elsens would be on the weaker side and would get sick more often - if Dr. Quack was still /here/! Pffbtl #And then Dex and Max <3 Obviously hehe ♥#The funnest part really is thinking about what their PSF and PSI would be - Max's are so easy to imagine especially!#A big fluffy bed and something with a silver spoon - maybe even a reference to his ''special candy'' pft #Caleb's could be a poisoned sandwich lol #They're so cute hhh <3 So much of the fun of Webkinz is the plush-to-life aspect! I want a Max plush and little playable guy!#The real appeal of making plushies at the same time as coding things haha

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sovamurka · 3 months ago

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bad news, I think I developed a serious case of ED, that may have been provoked by my meds

#I don't feel hunger. at all. it scares me. and when I try to eat something my body revolts EVEN IF THAT'S LITERALLY MY FAVOURITE FOOD.#I almost cried from shame today when my plate was full of food and I couldn't eat even 1/4 of it #I don't throw up. I used to feel nauseous for at least 2 weeks but... now I don't feel anything. literally anything.#the only way I know that my body needs food is when I feel something burning a little in my stomach.#I hate this. I can only drink water and tea without feeling like an empty neurotic shell.#I want this to end so badly. I want to enjoy eating food again. I hope I'll make it out this time.#I'm so tired of being on the verge of death for the last two years.#I almost died from pneumonia this year. I still have a damaged lung. and epilepsy on top of that. I don't want to die. I DON'T WANT TO DIE.#sorry. it's just... I'm so tired. I'm so. so tired.

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laurzvahll · 6 months ago

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this drawing is almost 2 years old

#happy almost 2 year anniversary of me being obsessed with this guy I hate him and I want him dead. (makes out with him sloppy style)#context is just that my pokemon obsession was super strong around that time and then suddenly idek what happened or what flipped the switch #or how it started or ????? but I couldn't stop thinking Abt him. I don't even know #I still kinda like how he looks here he looks funny #idek if I posted this on Tumblr when it was drawn but oh well

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jklpopcorn · 7 months ago

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Artfight attacks for kiwiichu, fortunatehail, CornVention (@silverfox419), gwumig (@gwumig), Kitsipher and monkeytylee!

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the-physicality · 21 days ago

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paige shouting out tash cloud at every opportunity....love that

#can i say something.#i think because of tash's career track she's been very underappreciated #like she had 3rd most assists in the league last year #and that's with having several excellent passers on the team as well #and the fact that she regularly defends 4s [and was one of the more successful merc to do so last year]#tbh even the fans [like league fans] don't see it #and i think. even though she has that 200k contract [and deserves it]#many FO don't see her as invaluable #and like i understand why you would only want one big contract on the team between at and tash. like from a roster construction standpoint #i get it. i will be interested to see how the mercury do this year bc it's going to be a whole new system #apparently bg left bc they wanted to move away from the 4-1 setup idk #and i was thinking more about why the merc crashed out last year #i think it got into someone's head that they needed a 4 to rebound even though the system worked when everyone was healthy #and like having 3 of 5 starters either out or going through something after the break that will change a team #but the way they didn't have a consistent bench didn't help #and part of that is players and part of it is the flexibility you want to use when you have so many players on 7 days or minimums #and taking bec out of the line up makes it really tough bc she is such a good defender and versatile player #and it's not like they couldn't lock in and defend. they could. it just didn't happen all the time #and the perimeter defense sucked #and the more i think about it the more i think they should have started celeste in that 4 spot even though she's smaller she can defend #and the other thing is it wasn't totally the roster bc like we were competitive in those last two games #but i think part of the issue came with the reliance on the 3. even though most of the time the ball movement was good #well it was good with the starters in. there was one shot clock violation in that last game with seattle... oof #so i guess what i'm saying is i'm curious if the coaching will be different next year with larger players and more defenders #but that paige shouts tash out at every opportunity #well 2. first it was the style [makes sense] then it was the 1 on 1 play #just because she wasn't the biggest name on the roster didn't mean she wasn't incredibly valuable #and to decide in one offseason that you want to burn it down and start fresh is wild to me #and i think their decision to do that made bg explore fa #but aside from the positional overlap this trade happened bc phx doesn't have any assets

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jungwildeandfree · 1 month ago

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ultimately i think it's good to have a conversation about whether or not generative AI has a place in cinema, and i'm glad The Brutalist has brought this up, because creators should be considering this issue. and ultimately i think the answer is No

#bro couldn't even hire someone to draw a pencil sketch for a prop #come onnnnnnnnnnnn #kevin costner did not phone in his robin hood accent from florida for you to get all snippy about 'realistic hungarian'#if you want realistic hungarian maybe get adrien a dialect coach? idk what to tell you #javier bardem learned to speak fluent chkobsa for dune and that language doesn't even exist #toshiro mifune once did an entire film in spanish by learning every line phonetically #your dialect cleanup bullshit is NOT what i am interested in THANKS BYE #you know of course the endgame of this is. if they can autotune in anyone's voice to speak fluent whatever language #they're JUST going to cast the timothy chalamet of the week for Every role #suddenly your star power A-lister can do ANY accent! zero reason to cast outside of the most marketable segment for a major motion picture!#studios would LOVE to own the digital rights to an actor's appearance with the option to tune their voice to sound native in every region #as soon as they get a big enough stable to make a film we are Going to see it and i personally think SAG needs to stomp on that shit Now #anyway i'm normal about movies #ALSO WHY DID WICKED GET INTO THE BEST SOUNDTRACK NOMS BUT DUNE 2 DID NOT?#I don't even particularly care - Hans Zimmer certainly doesn't -- but god the academy is so annoying #it's a fun and low-stakes thing to be irritated about every year cheers

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adore-gregor · 2 months ago

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#holidays have not been what i hoped for so far 😔😔#well the first week was good but then i got sick 😭#and it's been so awful #having a cough is literally the worst i couldn't sleep it was so bad #and i couldn't even enjoy doing anything really because you can't properly focus on the thing bc ur coughing non stop #i hate it sm #and today it was gone all day only that now it is back altough not as bad as before but still #it always gets worse in the evening #like help i just want this to end #what made it even worse i had real plans to study and now i barely got anything done 😭😭#and now i'm scared for exams bc i couldn't follow the plan altough i still have more than 2 and 3 weeks left #in my mind i already think i'm gonna do badly bc i need to study more i'm afraid #and i'm also upset at myself even though it's not my fault i got sick but i keep thinking i still could have done more ughh #to make it even worse i coudn't play tennis for a whole week and i was so looking forward to playing everyday (and improving) 😢😢#i couldn't do any sports or see anyone i miss it sm #i hope at least in the new year i can do stuff again 🥺#it was just the worst cold/flu and idk why whenever i get it it's that extreme 😵‍💫#or idk is it normal that you can't sleep bc of it ... i just don't wanna get sick again ever lmao it's the worst #i guess christmas was still nice it wasn't that bad then and it was a lovely day with my family :)#and our tree was really pretty this year and i'm really happy with my gifts and also those i gifted 🥰#the week before was good i did play lots of tennis and i went on a christmas market with uni friend and to vienna for a trip with my mom ^^#but maybe it was too much sometimes i wonder if i do something wrong or if it is just bad luck like i did train a lot #and i played a tennis match for my club and won against a higher ranked opponent so yay 😁#and i played really well i feel like i once again really improved my level :)) but i did play kinda sick already so maybe that was rly bad😅#maybe i should stop doing that 😅 but i didn't know it's gonna get this bad i just had the worst headache and sore throat #well ig i should have known but i also always feel like i have to play and i love matches and like my team needs me?#who else would have won that? i'm one of the best at my team and the others who are rly good weren't there that day so i felt responsible 😅#honestly my mom possibly she is also quite good but it would have been close and i wasn't sure so i played 😅#but i have done this too often by now... playing sick i really can't help myself 🤦‍♀️

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laugtherhyena · 3 months ago

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Actually i think this is a good time to let you guys know i never watched Sdra2 chapter 4 in full

#by the time it was getting translated i already hated Nikei so much that i couldn't stand watching the chapter #the trial much less. i haven't seen a second of the chapter 4 trial #which is a shame because i feel like my hate didn't affect by ability to enjoy the story this badly chapter 4 had the potential to be my #favorite case from Sdra2 because i think the concept/structure is really interesting and unique #i just can't say if it was executed well or not since i never watched it #the furthest I've ever gotten in chapter 4 was the scene Nikei makes ths reunion at Shinji's (?) room to talk to the rest of the cast #and then I THINK that's when Mikado shows up and that Cg of the two plays #i think that's how it went. it's been years #so yes. i never even saw the cast get to the babel tower #i mean. technically i did. but i didn't watch any of the scenes from it i was just skimming over everything to see if Ayame's statue #had special dialogue #that doesn't really count #i did watch the rest of the game tho. i watched ch5 once and ch6 a while after #but ch4? yeah. i genuinely doubt I'll ever watch it in full #maybe if some friend/mutual goes through it and drags me along to watch it I'd do it? still a huge maybe tho #on my own I'm definitely not taking time of my day to watch that. I'd genuinely have less of a problem watching the Ch3 trial again #so yeah. shout out to Nikei because i never had a character i hated so much that it affected how much i get out of a story #strangely enough I don't actually mind him when it comes to fandom content #but in canon or thinking of him in the context of Sdra2? my blood boils. this is no exaggeration #hyena ramblings #sdra2 #super danganronpa another 2

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newtness532 · 4 months ago

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so jealous of everyone who went to the guts tour btw

#not even 10 minutes into the movie but im having a fun time #also side note #the cat just came and tried sitting on my lap? this is literally the 3rd time she has ever done that in the 2 years we've had her?#she couldn't get comfortable though and left to sit next to me where the blanket is #but if i knew dramatically singing along to ballad of a homeschooled girl was all it took to make it happen i would do it more often lol #jo says stuff #personal ramblings

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luxlightly · 1 year ago

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Listening to myself on recording: "Oh. hello Kelsey, my sister Kelsey. That sure is...just exactly your voice, huh? That's just the exact same voice as my sister, huh?" Hhhhh...dysphoria....

#I sound a lot like my sister #except not as good #it was a whole thing back in my home town #kelsey 2: the sequel that couldn't live up to the original #i don't want to be my sister #I can't really escape that shadow though #even all these years later #especially when I can't even use my own voice without it just being her voice #also my sister is the most cishet woman I know #and not in like a bad or bigoted way #just someone who is very very sure of their gender and sexuality #a bastion of womanhold #so having the same voice when I'm someone who does not really jive with womanhood makes me dysphoric

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seaofreverie · 5 months ago

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The Me who bought tickets to see TMBG in february 2023 and the Me who's going to actually go to the show next month are two completely different people

#slash extremely negative #it's funny to actually live this whole sort of cliche of: the time between buying tickets and going to the show can be so absurdly long #with what was supposed to be my 1st 'real' concert no less #'i bought the tickets as a teenager but i'm going to see them in my 20s etc' and stuff like that #and then when it gets rescheduled too... well. a year and 9 months is in fact a pretty long time!!!#and i'm not even talking about rescheduling due to covid because god at least i didn't have to deal with that i guess #(it IS funny though that by the time the 30th anniversary of flood tour ends #flood will be 2 months away from turning 35. so yeah lmao a lot happened in the meantime huh)#anyways day two of going crazy going insane for no reason other than well i guess that's just my life now!!!!! 😃😃😃#me when i say i'll stop documenting my rapidly progressing mental breakdown online and then keep doing it anyway #but idk maybe this will heal me in some way. my only hope rn no joke #and my mom actually seemed to be unsure if i we should book the hotels and stuff because. ig i'm this obviously unwell even over the phone #but BY GOD this is the only thing i can really look forward to right now i really need this to survive #(trying to forget how i was doing in september of last year when they rescheduled the tour #and i couldn't even be sure if i'd ever get to see them in the end lollllll #and at the heights of my tmbg obsession this was my number 1 dream. i mean it still is)#also i think i'm finally entering my tmbg autumn era now with some more frequent listening after not doing so for a while #how could i let myself pretty much forget that i love tmbg??? and that their music is so good and makes me happy???#they're still my fav band of all time just like they were back then. THAT didn't change at least #it's just that now they share that spot with sparks also lol. can't choose between them and why should i anyway #what else. ig i just hope i get the energy to finally draw tomorrow at least #because if i don't turn the ideas i have into reality then they will never become real! and that would be so sad #so maybe this can be my main reason to continue for now. whatever #goosepost

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semi-sketchy · 11 months ago

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The Q&A of the Xenoblade 3 art book leaked and I am. Feeling something.

I think it's annoyance. I don't know if even Takahashi knows what he's cooking at this point.

#like SORRY??? Black fog was present in 2??? fucking WHERE?!#is the english translation of Riku's line in FR bad because like he uses a PLURAL WORD and you say it's referring to only ONE THING?#AND Y'ALL STILL AREN'T DONE WITH THE TRINITY PROCESSOR?!?!#YOU COULDN'T EVEN NAME MALOS OR PYRA OR MYTHRA BUT GOD DAMN YOU'RE GONNA DO MORE WITH THEM?#i think i wanna finally play xenosaga episode 2 because that makes more sense to me right now than xenoblade 3 #also yeah aren't avoiding artbook leaks for a game i've already played it's been like 2 years and i want answers dammit

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