#i couldn't be sure how i'd feel during a full rewatch
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loisfreakinglane · 6 days ago
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the cangel crumbs i got in buffy season 2 just made me more in love with them than i've been in a long time. LOOK AT THOSE TWO. THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA BE BEST FRIENDS THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA FALL IN LOVE THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW THEY'RE GONNA CHANGE EACH OTHERS LIVES FOR THE BETTER
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pippin-katz · 5 months ago
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Monty's Redemption
I realized why I want Monty to return for season 2 (if we get it). Obviously, love Joshua Colley; fantastic actor that I actually recognized from a Broadway miscast performance from way back in 2016. He played Eliza along with two other little boys and performed The Schuyler Sisters. Tangent: For those who did not already know this, you should absolutely watch it here. He was so good that I remembered him constantly whenever Hamilton was brought up. It happened enough that I went and followed him a few years later. It was a crazy while watching him, cause he felt familiar, but I didn't why, then I saw his name in the credits, and I was like, "Isn't that the name of the kid who played Eliza in that miscast? I'm pretty sure that's his name, let me check." Boom! It was him, and I immediately rewatched the miscast, and it was so crazy because his face has not changed at all! Like, obviously it's matured, but it's the same fucking face. Some people look completely different when they grow up, and some people literally look the same. (I'm one of these people. My face has not changed since I was a fucking toddler. Couple that with my short height and you have a childhood of bullying then an early adulthood of being mistaken for a child. RIP 🥲) Joshua's face is literally the same, it was so crazy lmfao
But other than loving the actor, I really want Monty to come back! I think it would be adorable if he turned back into a human, and joined the squad. He and Edwin would be an adorable QPR, and Edwin could teach him about being a human, since he probably only knows the bare minimum Esther told him so he could be in disguise. I actually wrote an essay about this a little while ago that I might rewrite.
But it is more than just wanting him back for the cuteness and fun of having him around. My urge for him to return feels too strong, too pinpointed, and I couldn't figure out why for a while.
Surprise, surprise! I figured it out!
It has to do with redemption! Charles literally says it when he pushes the backpack to him when he couldn't reach it.
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Here's the thing, obviously I'd like him to come back to get a full redemption arc, but I figured out why I'm so set on him getting one. It's specifically Edwin.
There's something Edwin says about Monty that rubs me the wrong way. It's during the conversation he has with Niko on the roof. He says, "He was a good liar, for a crow." It always made my skin prickle, just a little bit.
It's because calling Monty a "liar" feels like an unfair label. Did he lie? Yes, absolutely. But he also didn't.
Everything Monty tells Edwin behind the butcher shop is true. The only lie is the reason he wasn't free to make his own decisions before. It wasn't a coma, but he was still trapped and "in the dark" metaphorically speaking. Even what he says about feeling braver is true.
He's essentially Esther's property; she can do with him what she likes. She quite literally rips him apart and puts him back together, making him a human against his will. Monty says, "I never asked to be human. With all these... feelings."
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She forces a massive change in his entire being, mind, and life. Imagine how jarring it would be to suddenly not have wings that you were born with? To have no tail, beak, or claws? To be something completely other than you?
It was simpler for Monty when he was a crow. He was probably scared all the time, and just did as he was told. But once he becomes human, if you pay attention, you can see immediately that Monty does not actually like Esther that much, nor enjoys having to help her. He speaks his mind, and backtalks her, a couple times.
"That little slither bug is the size of a bus. It could afford to miss a few meals." - Ep05 When he says this, he says it with actual disdain in his voice. He's not just being sarcastic about it. Monty's voice and expression when he says it could miss meals looks like he genuinely doesn't like it.
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"Well, I mean, you stood bleeding on the shore so Lilith would come out of the ocean and grant you eternal life. She never said you had to stay young and beautiful." - Ep05 Given how much she believes Lilith tricked her, and how much she cares about being young and beautiful, this was an incredibly ballsy thing for Monty to say.
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"You didn't tell me that mushroom thing was gonna completely eradicate them. Or how gruesome it would be. Or how to-" - Ep06 Monty is genuinely distraught over this, and saying she didn't tell him implies his actions would have been different if he'd known. How so? We'll never know, but it's possible he would've tried to sabotage or refuse to help her. "Tried" being a key word here because it's clear that she had little-to-no care for Monty at all. He obeys her, but gets revealed by the Cat King, and she rips him up for it. There's really no way he could've survived if he'd tried to refuse/stop her.
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Speaking of genuine feelings, Monty did actually like them. Yes, "them" plural. He says, "-gonna completely eradicate them." Monty could've said "him", referring to Edwin since he's the one he's in love with, but he doesn't. He's upset about both of them being destroyed. Earlier when Esther gives him the napkin of fungus, he asks her what she's going to do with Crystal. If Edwin was the only one he cared about, he wouldn't have bothered to ask.
He's not supposed to care at all! If he was still a crow, he couldn't have asked. He'd just go do it. He's her familiar; he pretty much has to. Based on Monty's emotional responses, and the fact that he helps Charles at the end, it seems like he has free will. And you can say, "Why didn't he refuse sooner if he really cared?" and at the end of the day, that doesn't matter. She would have killed him regardless of what point in her plot he betrayed her. He doesn't want to die! That's a very reasonable response to the situation.
The affection Monty has for Edwin is completely real, and develops quickly. After their first meeting, they're swapping books, and Monty seems to have actually read it. Saying it was beautiful is a generic compliment, but how would he know it was funny?
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He was genuinely looking forward to seeing Edwin, and disappointed that the plans were canceled.
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Esther even says, "Monty, ew. You're not besotted with that little brat, are you?" Funny how he actually never responds to that question here, but immediately shuts the notion down after Edwin rejects him.
And it's when Edwin tells him sincerely that he is his friend that Monty makes the decision to try and get him out of the forest.
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I said in my other essay and earlier in this one that betraying Esther is a death sentence. There's no way she wouldn't find out if he helped them escape, but he was going to try anyway.
Monty may have lied about his identity as Esther's crow, but he didn't lie about the rest of who he is. That is why Edwin referring to him as a "liar", plain and simple, feels wrong. Monty deserves the chance to talk to Edwin, to actually explain himself, not under the threat of the Forest Elemental destroying Edwin, and without the Cat King's jeering. Honestly, I think he only ran because of the way Edwin called him a crow as though that on its own was disgusting or insulting rather than the real problem which is him being Esther's crow. I don't think Edwin would've actually cared about Monty originally being a crow, especially given the fact that the Cat King literally switches back and forth between human and cat. He's a human now (in that moment).
The way Edwin calls him a "liar" makes me feel like he didn't believe Monty when he said that he wasn't pretending, that it started off as that, but that it had changed into real feelings for him. It feels wrong for Edwin not to know/acknowledge that, especially if Charles tells him about the help he provided against Esther.
That it is what I want most if Monty is brought back.
(ko-fi)
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milkypompon · 6 months ago
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pairing: Nathan Bateman x F!Reader
summary: Did you wake up in your boss' bed after a night together? Oops...
content: Fluff, morning after, talks of sex, sprinkles of smut
wc: 642
a/n: I am balls deep into Nathan Bateman... I'm rewatching Ex Machina and couldn't help but write for this pathetically genius man.
Main Masterlist
The bed underneath you was plush… too soft even.
You roll around in the sheets and still haven’t fallen off the single-sized mattress.
Oh, fuck. 
This was a king-sized mattress. 
And it wasn’t yours for that matter.
“You going to piss on my pillows next? C’mon, finish marking your territory.” A lilt of amusement hidden behind the gruff smirk catches you off-guard.
“I already did last night.” You throw said pillows at Nathan, he sidessteps each one. “Where’d you put my phone?”
Nathan chuckles and leans against the door frame, a towel wrapped low on his waist – freshly bathed with water droplets clinging to his chest. 
You knew that you’d be caught staring anyway, so you didn’t bother being discreet about it.
“Are you gonna take pictures to use as references for solo sessions?” He pushes up his glasses, making a show of it with his fingers. 
You rub the sleep out of your eyes, ineffectively stopping last night’s memories from seeping in. Those deliciously thick digits that plugged his cum back into your cunt, threatening to spill out to his annoyance. 
“Just give it back, Bateman. You and I got shit to do.”
Nathan pouts.
He fucking pouts.
You almost feel bad for wanting to leave but reality gave you a cold-wash of “you just slept with your boss”. 
“Quit thinking so hard, you’re gonna fry your brain.” He fishes your phone from god knows where because he certainly didn’t have pockets sewn into the towel.
“Was that between your ass cheeks?”
He tosses your phone back. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”
The view is “not safe for work” to say the least. 
Your bare back is pressed against the bed, your stiffening nipples exposed to the cool air. The only thing covering you up right now was the thin sheet splayed across your pussy. (Damn rich people and their attraction to minimalism). 
But there was no point of decency now. He’d seen you on your knees and against the wall. 
There were a few places he’s yet to take you like his annoyingly neat desk that you wanted to mess up just for the sake of musing his workspace.
He said it’d be like straight out of a badly written porno. “Hot, billionaire boss fucks ditzy, sexy assistant on his desk during work hours.”
You rolled your eyes. “You sure the title shouldn’t be ‘assistant finds out her boss is actually the owner of PornHub’? How the hell did you come up with it so fast?”
His sweatpants were past his knees but he was rudely interrupted by a call with the board before he could pull your panties off. 
“Alright, sir. You’ve got a long day today.” You open up the Teams app, listing off his daily meetings. 
He plucks your phone and settles your head into the crook of his neck. “I knew you’d do this, pretending like it didn’t happen.”
“I can’t believe I slept with you.”
“I know, I was there.” 
You can’t help it when the corners of your lips curl at his stupid remark.
Nathan beams at drawing out a reaction. “Oh? Is that a smile I see?”
“No, you idiot.” You’re full-on grinning now, cheesing and all.
“Quit worrying about your pretty head, babe. You’re already working full-time at the facility, no one’s gonna know what you’re doing here. Besides, my dick is just a bonus.”
“Is your dick equivalent to a bar of gold? Because I’m gonna need that extra money once I get fired.”
“Now you’re just giving me ideas. Imagine that! A golden dildo molded from my cock.” He strokes his beard. “A true Midas’ touch.” 
You crane over to him, nudging your nose against his. “I’d never survive a day in your mind.”
“Well, you made it through a night with me, so I think it’s fair game.”
I'd love to hear your thoughts and my inbox is always open for requests or if you want to chat!
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m1ssunderstanding · 9 months ago
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Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4
It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 
My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 
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John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)
How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 
I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 
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But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 
I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 
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I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 
Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .
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I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 
“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”
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Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 
Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?
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But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?
It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.
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“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 
What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.
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I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 
Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.
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I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 
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But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 
All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.
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Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.
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crowleyholmes · 1 year ago
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Can you tell me about your Sherlock Holmes interest? You blogging about it has intrigued me!! Do you have a favourite adaptation you'd recommend? What do you love about the dynamic? I'm very interested to hear your thoughts!
(totally all good if you don't feel like answering, no stress 🩵 your posts just made me super interested but I wouldn't know where to start with engaging in such a huge volume of media)
Ohhhhhh what an ask to wake up to. I hope you know what you've done. You've just given me permission to unleash my full insanity on you. (I love you I love you I love you I lo- bless you)
I'm gonna be so honest I didn't even know where to start until I decided to just tackle your questions one by one so HERE I GO
(Under the cut so everybody who doesn't care can just scroll right by <3)
“Tell me about your SH interest”
Alright, I'll just out and admit it, it all started with BBC Sherlock – I'm sure I'm not alone with this. I absolutely fell in love with this show, then got so thoroughly disappointed by the last season I thought okay, this can't be right. I refuse. So started to read the original ACD Holmes stories and feLL EVEN MORE IN LOVE. The next christmas my brother (bless him) got me this absolutely Stunning collection of (almost) all the Holmes stories:
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And I dove headfirst into them. Couldn't get my nose out of them. Started teaching myself to play the violin because Holmes plays it and I loved him so much, that's how obsessed I was.
For a while my irl best friend and I read the stories together, 1 or 2 per day, and we'd send each other voice messages discussing what happened and what we THOUGHT the solution was and then we'd read on to the end and discuss again and it was soooo fun. We stopped eventually and I read the rest by myself but those evenings are such fond memories for me I just had to include them here too <3
Okay but before this gets too personal, let's move on to the actual questions you asked!
“Do you have a favorite adaptation?”
DO I EVER.
OHHHHH DO I.
YES I DO.
I'm sure every adaptation out there is brilliant in one way or another but, for me, THE Sherlock Holmes will forever be Jeremy Brett in the 1984 Granada TV series. Unfortunately they had to recast his Watson, but fortunately both Watsons are WONDERFUL and no matter how many times I rewatch I can never decide who I love more. Both David Burke and Edward Harwicke are absolutely brilliant.
There are. Several things that set Granada Holmes apart from other adaptations, to me. Let me attempt to list a few of them without getting too carried away.
I have to start with Jeremy Brett because he's just so wonderful. Also, when I read the Holmes stories, the character my brain conjured looked almost exactly like Brett, even before I'd ever seen him. Perfect casting. I mean just look at this legend.
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Also, the way he cared about this character – he came up with an entire backstory for Holmes, and it influenced his acting choices and there are some moment where it clearly shines through and it's so heartbreaking. There is a moment in one episode where Watson is talking about another character who was very lonely growing up (while giving Holmes a meaningful look), and Holmes doesn't get any direct verbal response to it but you can see on Jeremy's face that Holmes relates and it still hurts to think about, and YEAH IT HURTS ME TOO.
In the books, Holmes often goes days without eating when he's on a case, because food is a distraction to him – Well, during filming, when everbody else would go have lunch, Jeremy would often stay on set and study the scripts to perfect and refine every nuance of the way he played it. Once again, perfect Holmes.
Also, in Granada Holmes, Holmes is allowed to be silly. So often, Holmes is portrayed as this cold, loveless logic-machine, but that is not who he is!! In Granada, he gets to laugh and have fun and hum and twirl and jump over furniture and just. Be human. Watson brings out that side of him, and Brett portrays that so beautifully.
It was also extremely important to Brett that the TV show remain as faithful as possible to the books - and I've heard that, more than once, he made the writers change the script because he didn't agree with their take on Holmes. (And judging from the way he plays him: he was most likely correct.)
But you know what they changed? The ONE thing that's in the book that they very intentionally changed, that they very VERY purposefully left out? Watson's marriage.
In Granada Holmes, Watson never marries. He's always with Holmes.
Now, you could argue that they simply didn't want to bother with casting a Mary who would never show up anyway, or write it in there just to have it in there when they could be focussing on the fun cases instead. But. And this may be conjecture on my part, but nevertheless. Jeremy Brett was openly bisexual, so I don't think it's absurd to assume that when he read the books, he saw the same thing so many of us see. Which is that these two characters are in love. They weren't allowed to be, by the times they lived in, or even by their author (though there are theories around that which I will not get into now), but nevertheless, the love is very much there.
Another thing this adaptation does in regard to Watson (which I feel many others fail to do) is that it lets Watson be both Holmes' best friend and ALSO his equal. Of course, most of the time Holmes is doing the deducing and Watson is doing the watching and adoring and cheering on, but sometimes, every now and then, Watson gets to do some clever deducing and Holmes watches him and whenever that happens Brett's Holmes gets such heart-eyes it's unbearable to watch. (allow me to link to just this one example) So often in Holmes adaptations Watson gets belittled and made fun of and is under-appreciated, but in Granada, the opposite is true. Holmes states himself, more than once, that he needs Watson, that he would be lost without him, and Brett himself has emphasized this in interviews as well, said that Holmes would likely have died of an overdose years ago if he didn't have his Watson. Watson loves and adores Holmes, but the same is true the other way around. And it comes through So Beautifully in this show.
Have this gif, just because I like it:
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.... I have not managed to keep this short, have I. Sorry.
Shall we move on?
“What do you love about the dynamic?”
I think I already party answered this in the last paragraph about why I love Granada Holmes so much, but. Let me elaborate again. Why shouldn't I? You asked, and you shall receive answers, and I could talk about this all day anyway.
I love that Holmes is very clearly and loudly Different, and not always in an easily-digestible way, but Watson doesn't mind. Not one bit. In fact, he loves him for it.
Holmes can be rude at times, because he forgets about societal conventions – Watson reminds him to be polite, but always with gentleness and kindness and amusement even.
Holmes can be an obnoxious show-off. He loves to talk about how he collected his Clues and got to his Conclusion, he loves to be clever and to be the most intelligent person in the room, he loves to be admired and praised. And Watson loves to listen to him, and loves to praise him. I kid you not, there is a passage where Watson praises Holmes for his cleverness and Watson says. Actually, let me find the passage for you, I need you to see this.
“My companion flushed up with pleasure at my words, and the earnest way in which I uttered them. I had already observed that he was as sensitive to flattery on the score of his art as any girl could be of her beauty.”
Watson knows how much it means to Holmes to be appreciated, verbally, out loud. And he does it, again and again, because it makes them both so happy.
I love how good they are for each other. Holmes provides the adventure, the excitement of the cases, and Watson is his constant, he provides the stability, the calm, routine, he's the home Holmes can come back to after his wild escapades (on the rare occasion that he does go off alone).
I love how protective they are of each other. Most often we see Watson's side of this, there are so many instances where Holmes is threatened by another character, most often a suspect in a case, and the MOMENT they even LOOK at Holmes wrong, Watson will stand up and hover protectively, glare at them, step between them, put his hand on his revolver, or actively throw hands. In most instances, Holmes doesn't need his protection. He's perfectly capable of protecting himself. Still, even knowing that, Watson is more than willing to step between Holmes and whatever perceived danger presents itself, take the punch for him, and make the other party pay.
HOWEVER. There are a few moments, here and there throughout the books, where we see Holmes' side of this. Moments where he knows an investigation will be dangerous, and he apologizes to Watson for involving him in this. (Watson never minds at all). Sometimes he tells him that he understands if Watson would rather not stick around for (insert xyz dangerous thing). (Watson always stays). One time he actively argues with Watson that he has to leave because it is too dangerous and he can't have it on his conscience if something happens to Watson. (Watson does not leave).
In one case, he lets a murderer go free because the crime was done in revenge for a murdered loved one, and Holmes muses that he likely would have done the same, if someone he loved was killed. A few cases later Holmes tells someone that “if [they] had killed Watson, [they] would not have got out of this room alive.”
I love the TRUST between them. So often, Holmes jumps into actions that seem so insane and dangerous, and all Watson can do is follow him and trust that Holmes has a plan. And sometimes (I'm thinking of a specific case here that tore my heart out) Holmes' entire plan hinges on Watson's actions, and specifically Watson's love for him, but Holmes can't TELL him because Watson is a lousy actor, so Holmes just has to trust that Watson will do exactly what needs to be done. “Don't forget, Watson. You won't fail me. You never did fail me.”
And, finally, not really a question but “I wouldn't know where to start.”
I think, personally, I would recommend starting with the first collection of short stories, which is “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes”.
I found the novels a bit harder to get through because of the way they're structured, but that's down to personal preference I'm sure.
If you want to get a feel for the characters before you dive into the books, I can absolutely recommend simply watching the first few episodes of the Granada series. I believe they're all online? Yeah, I found them [here]!
Scandan in Bohemia was never my favorite case (for many reasons, most of which being the way every adaption seems to love to force a love story between Holmes and Irene Adler – thankfully Granada doesn't do this, but it's still simply not my favorite case), but episode 2 and 3, The Dancing Men and The Naval Treaty are two of my ABSOLUTE favorites in the whole series.
So go ahead and treat yourself!!
And if you decide to read the short stories, don't forget that most collections do not include “The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes” - but that one contains one of the most infamous moments in the entire series which fans just go absolutely insane over, so make sure to read that too.
And now I've accidentally written 3 A4 pages.
Whoops. I'm sorry. I hope this is what you wanted.
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thefrogdalorian · 11 months ago
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It's New Year's Eve and I just wanted to share some mushy thoughts about life and Mando and Din and how this year has been overall for me!!
If you don't want to read below the cut I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year!! I hope you have a wonderful time, whatever you do to celebrate. I'm currently on a trip so I may not be terribly active, but if you're struggling and the emotions of the day are a little too much, please do message me. I've been there plenty of times. You're not alone. NYE should really be about looking to the future rather than dwelling on the past, but I know how easy it is to get caught up in that depressive loop of thinking.
But if you do want to keep reading, then strap in for some Oversharing Online and gushing about how much Mando means to me:
I first started watching Mando during the pandemic in 2020, I think the first episode released like 2 days after the UK went into lockdown or something. 2020 was an awful year for me, as I'm sure it was for so many of you. A lot of things happened to me that I'm still trying to process but I hope to start therapy in the new year and go some way to addressing it.
Anyway, The Mandalorian came to me at a time I dearly needed it. It was welcome relief from The Horrors I was experiencing. I was hooked pretty much straight away, who was this mysterious man? What were his intentions? Was he good or bad? OH WOW THAT WALK. THAT VOICE!!! I loved it, but it wasn't until The Believer that everything changed for me. It went from enjoyment to full-blown obsession. I couldn't wait until Season 3 aired, and I think the expectations I had built up in my head could never have lived up to the reality of what I felt upon watching it for the first time. I was pretty disappointed most weeks, but I feel so differently now.
This year has been pretty strange for me. I had some amazing highs (like being able to go to Star Wars Celebration where I got to see so many amazing Din and Mandalorian cosplays which was an INSANE experience and I still kind of haven't properly processed yet??) and also some difficult lows.
In June I finally got my autism diagnosis, something I'd been essentially waiting for for EIGHT YEARS. It was a huge shock but also not shocking at all. As in, I knew I was autistic since being a teenager but I was absolutely not expecting to be told right there and then at my assessment. So when the psychologist looked me in the eye and told me that I was autistic it was somewhat of a gut punch. Processing it was extremely difficult but during that time I found myself drawn back to Mando and particularly to season 3. I rewatched it again and again fell in love with a season that I'd probably felt on the whole underwhelmed with at the time, until the last two episodes, which I loved instantly.
When rewatching it, I noticed things that I'd missed before, which led me to become kind of obsessed with the idea of Din and Bo together. I know not everyone enjoys that but that truly is what I love about media, that we can all watch a similar thing and interpret it differently! I don't think I'm any more correct about the way I view certain interactions than anyone else. Shipping should just be a little fun, not ruin your mental health or dictate how you treat strangers on the internet. And it especially should not lead to any real world harassment of creators and actors.
So in September an idea formed and between then and November a 182,000 word fic landed in my lap. That's the best way I can describe writing it for me, I was so fixated on finishing it and the plot just kept coming the more I wrote. It is by FAR the longest thing I've ever written and probably ever will write, but the routine of writing it and publishing it helped claw me out of a spiral I was in after my diagnosis.
And it was publishing it on AO3 that gave me the confidence to rejoin a fandom space again. It was a big step for me to put myself out there but I'm so glad that I did because that's what led me here, to discover this wonderful community who adore Din and The Mandalorian just as much as I do. I'm so happy that I finally found my way here. It was way less intimidating than I ever thought it would be!
I know that I haven't been here for the longest time, I wish I just got over my nervousness and made a tumblr earlier in the year so I could have joined in with the hype before season 3. But also considering how poorly received the season was overall, maybe it was for the best that I wasn't here.
Despite my relative newness here, I just wanted to say how welcomed I've felt and that is a truly lovely feeling. Thank you so much to everyone who has interacted with any of my posts and especially my writing in any way, big or small. It means a lot to me! I cannot wait to be around for all the buildup to Season 4, honestly. I know it seems so far but after midnight we can say it's (probably) only NEXT YEAR!
I have no idea what 2024 has in store for me. That doesn't scare me, in fact I'm quite excited about not knowing what will happen. I
Of course, I have some goals I'd like to achieve for myself but whatever happens, I know that Mando will be there to endlessly rewatch and whatever comes my way, I'll always have Din Djarin. He's the only man to ever exist! That gorgeous tin can who instantly soothes me every time I get to watch his silly little exploits with his silly little son. Where would we be without him, eh?
Anyway, whatever you're doing tonight to celebrate and even if you aren't, I wish you all the best. Stay safe, enjoy yourself and I'm sending you lots of love and light for the year. May 2024 be a healthy, happy prosperous year for you and your loved ones.
See you in 2024!
Love,
Spud 🥔🐸
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crimsonalchemistress · 9 months ago
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Full disclosure: I ship both Chaggie and Charlastor
This is where I get frustrated. Like, I'm bi and ace, so you'd think I'd go absolutely nuts over over a sapphic relationship with a bisexual character, but with Chaggie, don't get me wrong, I think they're really cute and sweet, but that's about it. I'm certainly hoping for more development, but literally the only conflict introduced to their relationship was dealt with in a single episode, and it wasn't resolved by Charlie and Vaggie, it was resolved by fuckin *Rosie* more than anyone.
They're a canon relationship but they're just that, they're not a love story because there's barely a story there at all. Even M&M and Fizzmodeus, there's still stories there because we actually see the couples working through conflicts *together*, like Ozzie trying to help Fizz escape Mammon and them overcoming the stigma of the Ozzie being the lust demon that fell in love with someone at the bottom of the totem pole, and Millie and Moxxie dealing with their respective family's bullshit. There are actual *stories* there.
Now, here's where I get into the Charlastor stuff, and why I feel so frustrated talking about all of this, specifically as a bisexual person.
One of the things that bothers me most when rewatching HH is in the pilot when Vaggie discourages Charlie from singing during her interview. Was Vaggie *technically* right in this instance? Sure. But what does that matter when Charlie insists that she feels more authentic when she's singing? Why should the motherfuckin' Princess of Hell have to shrink herself down? She couldn't win over the denizens of Hell right away, but you know who she did win over?
Alastor.
All by being herself.
Granted, Alastor isn't much interested in Charlie's goals, and there's much speculation that Alastor's decision to help Charlie has to do with whoever's thumb he's under, and there's speculation that thumb is Lilith's, but he at the very least doesn't discourage Charlie from being her authentic self.
And yes, in the series proper Vaggie seems to have a change of heart and looks adoringly at Charlie when she's taking Pentious through a sing-songy exercise, but Vaggie refers to Charlie's lyrical behaviors as "theatrics", which is a yellow flag to me. She also says that she loves that Charlie doesn't use her powers as princess of hell. I don't know what all Charlie and her parents are capable of, but in the prologue to episode 1, it's revealed that one of Lilith's powers is her singing, and we know that Charlie at least inherited Lilith's affinity for singing.
I don't know how much Alastor knows about Lilith since it's not even confirmed that he has anything to do with Lilith, but it's not lost on me that something that ties him and Charlie together is music, which once again was one of Lilith's powers. He encourages this in Charlie. He's drawn to how Charlie presents herself and recognizes her charms and talent for how powerful they make her. He takes her to a place where her singing *is* a useful power and connects her with people who listen to her the way she wishes to communicate with others and even *hands off his microphone to her*. He wants to encourage her power instead of wanting her to tamp it down. He wants her to embrace every part of who she is and even help her in doing so, even if his goals are antithetical to her own.
I mean, for now, anyways, but can we talk about that?
Vaggie insists that she wants to make Charlie's dreams for the hotel come into fruition, but when Sir Pentious shows up without the war ship, Vaggie threatens to kill him and Charlie, the person who made the hotel happen in the first place, had to *beg* Vaggie to let him stay. TWICE. With Vaggie threatening to kill Pentious as Charlie is giving him a second chance. And Vaggie *continues* to question Charlie's judgement in letting Pentious stay, even though he was loyal to the very end and ended up being the hotel's first success story. With Alastor, he turns a longtime friend away after she brings danger to the hotel and only offers her a second chance if she ever decides to give redemption a try. Now, which of those is more conducive to Charlie's goals, exactly? It's like Vaggie's open to recruits until they cross her directly, while Alastor extended an invitation to someone who betrayed him directly, with the only caveat being a genuine desire to improve. And then we do see him start to soften up towards the end of season 1, admitting that he's grown somewhat fond of the hotel crew, and supplying *on his own* the idea that he "died for his friends", even though he quickly dismisses the idea. His slow turn to camaraderie is a much more effective show of the fruits of Charlie's labor than Vaggie's rushly explained turn from Exorcist to Charlie's, how did you phrase it, angelic little guard dog?
And now to dig into why I'm frustrated, particularly as a bisexual woman. I've not had much luck with dating but in my friendships I've always connected particularly well with other queer people, especially queer women. The most intense love of my life was a queer woman, like the love I had for her was so much more intense than the love I had for either of my cishet ex-boyfriends. I feel more myself around queer women than I do around cishet men and even most queer men. And I know this isn't a unique experience for bi women. A lot of us feel more authentic in both our friendships and romantic relationships with women than with men.
But seeing Chaggie and Charlastor in front of me just feels like a reversal of that. Alastor not only encourages but challenges Charlie to embrace the parts of her that others find to be too much, and Charlie in turn, whether either of them realize it or not, challenges Alastor to be a better person. There's an argument to be made that Charlie could also challenge Vaggie to be a better person to the potential guests, but what does Vaggie have to offer in return, besides requesting that Charlie shrink herself down? Like, is this seriously the queer couple that I'm supposed to be rooting for?
Look, I know that Charlie's ultimate goal is to see the hotel work, and no one is more supportive of that goal than Vaggie, and that Charlie values things like forgiveness and redemption while Alastor does not. However, like I already said, we're already starting to see Alastor change. And, opposing goals and values is kind of a requirement for enemies-to-lovers. Not that I need every relationship in fiction to be enemies-to-lovers, but there just needs to be something to the relationship's story for me to care. Chaggie just has so little in canon. Charlastor, if not as a romantic prospect then definitely as just the dynamic between the two characters, is just so much more interesting to me and worth investing in.
When you compare Chaggie to other canon relationships in the universe, like Fizzmodeus, Moxillie... You realize how poor they really are in comparison. The fact that they are already a couple when the show begins is not an excuse, especially when you compare once again to these two canon couples already established that I cited above. Even StaticMoth vague secondary relationship seems more interesting from what little we've seen of it, not to mention the borderline mythological story of Lucilith which is extremely intriguing. Not to mention the relationships in development like Stolitz (frankly epic by the way) CherriSnake and Huskerdust... I mean, compared to all these other main romantic relationships that are already canon, those that are more or less canon but secondary, and those that are currently being developed... Chaggie is no match for me... I heard that they were originally just supposed to be best friends and that the designer changed that at the last minute ? Well if it's true, it shows. And a lot. And it's a shame, because they have great potential. But I don't find it treated well enough... It's very sad to be called homophobic by part of the fandom for this simple difference of opinion.
I agree. I feel like we have both - we have multiple canon relationships that have been done, but they are treated as relationships that are developing or organically working, such as Millie and Moxie. While I understand that Viv decided to make Charlie and Vaggie a thing, it would also seem that from pilot to Season, they could have added some elements that make the relationship much more organic and such. To make Vaggie her “protector” just ruffles me up a lot. Seeing them maybe have more conversation, engaging, flirting, and such would have made more sense. Not “You have to be careful!” Or “Maybe we shouldn’t do something” does not tell me that the relationship is working. Charlie has some grand ideas that Vaggie doesn’t seem to accept.
I really like Charlie, and I want someone who could be supportive.
And then someone out there is going to be like “It isn’t Alastor!” I didn’t say that, however, he has done more for her confidence than Vaggie has, and I absolutely believe he is going to be a big bad for them, but then Charlie is going to lead him down a better path-which, unfortunately people STILL don’t seem to understand that that is the ENTIRE point of Hazbin-Sinners are not EVIL, they have made decisions that are not GOOD, and that Heaven themselves are also not making strict black and white choices with who they are putting there(Adam should be in Hell, change my mind).
Problem is, we have some great, GREAT characters! I love them all in their own way, but relationship mechanics? The story? Meh. I’m having fun with my own ship, and Chaggie can enjoy theirs. It’s as simple as that.
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thevindicativevordan · 3 years ago
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On Livewire
You know Leslie is probably the most popular and well known female Superman Rogue mainly because they use her so heavily in outside media.
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Which makes sense given her debut in Superman: The Animated Series, but it still kind of fascinates me. They didn't bring her into comics continuity until 2006 apparently, with Gail Simone and John Byrne (Byrne of all the creators!) being the ones to finally fold her in. Even after they brought her in, they still have never given her that much attention or focus which is a disappointment for me frankly, because Livewire is honestly fantastic in Scott McCloud and later Mark Millar's Superman Adventures runs, and I would say with complete sincerity that those two are probably her best writers. "Millar writing a female character well?" you scoff at in disbelief. I know, I was shocked too! But she's funny, clever, and a huge pain in the ass for Supes. Reading how she was used there, and rewatching her STAS incarnation recently, really made a big realization for the character hit me like a lightning bolt (couldn't resist):
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She's basically an evil superpowered Lois Lane! I know I can't have been the first one to realize that, although I haven't seen anyone else actually outright state it anywhere, but c'mon it's so obvious! She's a reporter of a sorts as well thanks to being a disc jockey, her debut in STAS even has her interviewing Lois and Clark! She's got strong opinions on Superman that conflict with the general opinion about him (Lois being pro-Superman when everyone else is more hostile towards him at first, Livewire being anti-Superman when everyone else has embraced him as their hero). She's rude and abrasive, and doesn't care if her opinions offend people, which sure does remind me of Lois at her meanest.
Livewire to me is an examination of what Lois would be like if she abandoned her morals or never really had them in the first place. Leslie doesn't care about the "truth" which is the big difference between her and Lois. Lois can be headstrong, willful, and outright rude, but it's all in service of her pursuit of higher ideals. Livewire doesn't care about that, she carries about getting people to pay attention to her, and getting the recognition and wealth she believes she's owed.
What I'd Do With Livewire
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It wasn't until I had that big realization about Leslie that I figured out what role she should play with regards to Clark: She should be Clark's old college ex who was the one who got him into journalism in the first place.
Clark's college years are unexplored territory narratively, typically we jump from his childhood in Smallville right into his debut in Metropolis. Now I know Clark dated Lori that mermaid back in Pre-Crisis during his college years, and while that's a fun bit of trivia, it doesn't really add anything meaningful in the same way that I think Leslie and Clark dating could. So I'd rather go with Leslie because I think she makes for a better foil for Clark and because the two of them would benefit from having a deeper connection established, plus Leslie could get fleshed out as a character more.
I like the explanation that Clark chose journalism in part because it challenges him in ways his powers can't, but in the comics they've rarely bothered to explain how he chose that field in the first place. I would have meeting Leslie at college be that big moment where he starts to figure himself out. She's assertive and confident, and Clark is attracted to that for similar reasons he's attracted to Lois. Leslie would start out as an optimist and idealist in the same way Clark is, and the two would bond and go into journalism together, with Leslie being the one who really believes in the field initially. They'd both be big believers in the duty of the press to inform and the presses ability to shape public opinion, with Clark attracted to investigative journalism and Leslie attracted more to broadcast and digital journalism. They start to date and for a moment, Clark seriously wonders if this is the one.
The big break between them comes when Clark and Leslie go on a trip around the world during their senior year of college. That trip would be where both of them learn how crappy the world is. Clark always had some idea of how bad things were because of his powers, but the trip is where he really starts to realize that there is a real need for someone of his powers to step up, and that there are hard limits to just how much he can accomplish as a member of the press. That same realization is what shatters Leslie's idealism and optimism. She loses faith in the ability to make a difference, to punch through the wall of public indifference, and as a result she gives up that dream. Instead she decides that if you can't beat them, join them: she switches instead to telling the masses what the powers that be want them to hear in exchange for money, to saying whatever the masses will give her attention and prestige for, embracing tabloid journalism that prioritizes clicks and engagement over information. Ultimately it destroys the relationship between Leslie and Clark with her viewing him as a sap and him viewing her as a sellout.
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I think that origin really would help flesh out her worldview and motivation a lot more. She's a former idealist who has been broken by the world in a similar way to Poison Ivy. Leslie thus acts as a foil to Clark and Lois in that she's someone who let the world rob her of her idealism and sold out on the truth in exchange for material success. She's what Clark or Lois could've been if they took Lex's offer to work for him, and they should recognize that to some degree. Clark should have conflicting feelings for her, not romantically that relationship is dead, but in terms of sometimes he wonders if he's just wasting his life trying to fight for truth and justice. So few people seem to care about those principles, why hold on so tight to them? Why not just look out for his own self-interest the way everyone else seems to? It's the refusal to give up even when it looks pointless that makes the two of them different, and makes Clark a hero and Livewire a villain.
How I'd Like Livewire To Operate
There's a lack of imagination in how Livewire is used on the comic side as I see it.
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Like most Superman Rogues the typical Superman writer doesn't seem to have a clue what to do with her beyond generic "villain" stuff, but that does a disservice to what Livewire brings to the table. Livewire does want to fry Superman to a crisp, but that's not what her daily goal is to accomplish. More importantly, she wants respect and she wants money, and the way she gets both is not by trying to rob banks, it's by leaning into her background as a media personality combined with her new powers. Unleashing electric bolts is honestly the least impressive part of her powerset in terms of her ability to manipulate anything and everything technology.
The Internet? Livewire can crash the entire thing with ease, or restrict access to portions of it. She can do the reverse and smash through firewalls and encryption like it's made of paper. Imagine Livewire shutting off the power grid or causing it to explode, secretly using your "smart" tech to record your every move, uploading ransomware to every piece of technology in Metropolis, emptying the bank accounts of anyone who annoys her, or bringing Metropolis to it's knees thanks to the "City of Tomorrow" being a test ground for the Internet of Things, so everything is connected and thus easily manipulated. Smart cars crash into each other, elevators randomly drop, trains are unable to stop and simply accelerate onward unceasingly, plans attempting to land find their instruments on the fritz, anything and everything is Livewire's to control. But terrorism, while entertaining and occasionally profitable, isn't Livewire's main focus either.
One of my favorite Superman Adventures stories with her had Livewire manipulating TV broadcast signals so that any time there was a male news reporter on screen, the signal wouldn't come through. Stuff like that, where Livewire is making life hell for people in a way that isn't immediately life-threatening is what I envision as her day to day operations, but her bread and butter is fake news. What Livewire is REALLY good at doing is manipulating the public due to her journalism background plus her powers. She can make fake videos that look totally authentic, fake articles that seem to come from credible sources, fake voice recordings, she can make anyone appear to do or say anything through the Internet, and then she can upload that to the devices of every single person in Metropolis.
You can get stories about the mayor being framed for taking bribes, local activists cast as grifters, and supposed upstanding citizens such as Lois Lane and Clark Kent appearing to take orders from criminals like Intergang on what stories to run. Basically you lean into the journalism aspect for Livewire stories where Clark and Lois have to investigate to see whether what Livewire is putting out there is fake or legit, with peoples lives and reputations at stake (including frequently their own).
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And when Superman and Livewire actually do clash physically? I don't care how it gets justified, Livewire simply being that powerful, her lightning being "special", she has the ability to manipulate Superman's bioelectric field, whatever: she can hurt him. When she hits Supes with lightning, it burns. It's painful as all hell. Livewire needs to be a threat and I'd like her to be treated as a powerhouse since I don't see a reason why that shouldn't be the case. Livewire is a really cool Rogue, there's a reason she's managed to keep getting used long after the DCAU ended. I hope the comics creators start utilizing her to her full potential.
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