#i couldn’t take it anymore

[jinx-xxed]

Beautiful Thing Caged

Chapter 1; Strange sight

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

A/N; My first multi-part fic!! I’ve never been able to commit to one before so I’m really hoping I’ll be able to see this one through cuz I have some good ideas for it :]. I hope you enjoy, that’ll help keep me motivated too!! Also thanks to my bestie for the idea for the chapter titles ♡

This writing is based on this fan art ! It made my jaw drop to the floor when I saw it and I haven’t stopped thinking about it since.

Part 2 ⇨

Summary; The First Order Agencies have come across a new, strange creature and it becomes your job to study it. You get far more than you bargained for.

Content; Werewolf AU, modern AU, werewolf Kylo Ren, human reader, scientist reader, soulmates, angst, feral Kylo, like legit feral bro does not know about human society, there’s a part where he eats a bunch of raw meat (I did not enjoy it), Kylo’s being studied in a lab, he studies you too, he’s scared and sad and angry (what else is new), lots of tension, neither of you know how to feel

[Each chapter will have specific content warnings. This story will eventually have 18+ content.]

Wc; 3.5k

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

“I’m sorry?”

You look down at the sheets that had just been slid to you across the mahogany desk. It’s a thick packet stapled together, the papers perfectly crisp and white. On them is paragraph upon paragraph detailing the new assignment that your superiors at First Order Agencies have decided to place on you. Your hands reach forward from where they’d been resting in your lap to tentatively flip through the packet, your brows creasing further with each page.

Studying an unknown creature. Studying something that nobody knows what it is or where it came from, something that the only thing people know about it is that it’s incredibly dangerous. You briefly scan over the pages dedicated to the description of the creature—black fur, wolf like appearance, supposedly male, huge, able to take on a humanoid state. You see that in place of a true name, it’s been given the label of OB-2637. Written at the bottom of the description is “BEWARE CREATURE, WILL ATTACK. STAY IN DESIGNATED OBSERVATION BAYS FOR SAFETY.” Lovely. There’s no pictures attached so your imagination is free to run wild, thinking up an image of a hulking beast with drool covered teeth and ragged fur covering its misshapen body. You shudder.

“Wh- why is this being given to me?” You ask, looking up at the one who’d given you the papers. He goes by Hux and he oversees your sector of the Agency, making him your boss. “I’m just a nature observationalist. I feel like I’m not-“

“You’re the most qualified one in this facility.” Hux states. He sounds uninterested, his shrewd face giving no insight as to what he thinks about the Agency housing a dangerous, unknown creature of unknown origin. “We agreed that with your knowledge about the “wild world”, it would probably give you the most insight on this… thing. You’ll be paid generously for your work based on your findings if that’s what you’re concerned about.”

You’d seen the amount they were offering you, it was certainly nothing to scoff at. You shake your head. “No, that’s not what I’m concerned about. I’m more concerned that this seems above my level. I’ve never dealt with something like this since I’ve been here.” You say. You’ve been with the First Order for almost five years now. It’s a government agency that’s kept tightly under wraps, mostly because the Agency deals with things that they think “normal civilians” shouldn’t be made aware of. It took a lot for you to get accepted into this position.

Hux leans forward against his desk, the dimness of his office making his features look even crueler than usual. “If you really doubt yourself that much, then you don’t have to take this job. But I’ll make it known that if you turn this down, it’ll go to the next best person and I don’t think they’ll be as… compassionate towards this thing as you will be.” He says. His tone is so heavy, so serious. It holds so many implications that have your palms sweating. He shrugs as he relaxes in his chair. “I’m sure they’ll probably end up killing it. Theres a lot of people in this place that want to dissect that creature piece by piece. So it’s not just about your qualifications, it’s about how you’ll decide to treat another living being—that’s why you were the first pick.“

You swallow and your spit almost gets stuck on the lump in your throat. You look again at those papers, at what will be waiting for you in those lower levels of the facility. You think over Hux’s words, you roll them around in your mind in the same way you’d roll something in your mouth to get the taste of it. You know that he’s right, that anybody else would kill this creature just to get a thorough look at it. Anything in the name of science, after all. You know the people working in the First Order are not kind-hearted, most are cruel and cold. You have few friends in this place, even after the amount of time you’ve spent here. Your answer becomes clear to you. You don’t want this creature to die.

“I’ll take the assignment.” You say at last, steeling yourself so you don’t lose your nerve. You can do this. Surely it won’t be that hard? You just need to observe some type of animal, find out what it is, where it came from. That’s your whole job. You do that every day.

“Good choice.” Hux nods. He digs something out of a drawer. “Sign this and then be on your way.” He gives you an NDA, one that’s specifically catered towards this assignment. You’ve signed countless versions of these since you started working for the Agency, so it’s nothing new as you fill out everything you need to. You think nothing of them now, it’s not like you have people in your life to tell about your job anyway.

Hux takes the paper once you’re done. “Floor twenty. Your badge has already been approved for access. You shouldn’t experience any trouble.”

That’s a stern dismissal if you’ve ever heard one. You stand from your chair, smoothing out your lab coat as you go. You grab the packet of information; it’s not much but it at least gives you something to go off of. “Thank you, sir.” You say. Hux merely grunts in acknowledgment, already buried in the paperwork for something else.

You leave his office, taking a deep breath when the door shuts behind you. Holding the packet close, you walk through the halls of the building’s upper floor. When you think about it, the above-ground section is like a mask to the public eye. It’s all of the boring offices, gaudy paintings littering the walls, carpeted floors. It’s unassuming and basic and meant to hide what lays below the surface: all of the Agency’s experiments, their studies, and their classified documents stuck behind vaults. That’s where most of the employees are, that’s where your own office is. There’s few people upstairs and the ones you do manage to pass don’t even spare you a glance on your way to the elevator.

One of the two elevators opens a second after you press the button. You step inside and hit the button for the twentieth floor. The door closes without anyone else inside, leaving you blissfully alone. There’s no classic elevator music that plays, there’s only the sounds of the machine working to keep you company. Your hands frequently change position on the papers you hold to try and keep from drenching one spot in your sweat.

It feels like an eternity before the elevator begins to slow and there’s a resounding ding as it reaches the twentieth floor. The second lowest floor in the facility; you can’t even imagine how far underground you are. The hall you enter in to is pure white, fluorescent lights bouncing off the walls and floors. There’s nobody you can see and you know based on your packet that the only other people involved in this assignment are guards and a few nutritional specialists. You’re on your own.

The halls of this floor hold few doors, instead mostly housing holding cells and laboratories. You use your badge when you come upon authorized entryways, that unsmiling face in your picture getting you the beep you need to pass through. You’re halfway to where you know you need to go when you begin to hear strange noises. Clinking chains, the faint snarl. Sounds of struggling. You really should just turn back, try to ignore all of this and pretend you don’t care about the fate of some defenseless animal. You know you can’t though, so you keep walking on unsteady legs.

There’s one final door you need to pass through, one last door keeping you from a sealed fate. You feel the sense of foreboding prickling the back of your neck, your shirt sticks to your spine from your perspiration. The door beeps in response to your badge, your hand hesitates on the handle. It opens into a massive room, snow white in color with a black rim. Theres very little inside it; there’s data pads built into the walls for recording observations and there’s a one way window stretching along the right wall. You don’t know who would be on the other side. The room is separated by a massive pane of reinforced glass, stretching from floor to ceiling, spanning the entire length.

You finally see what that glass is meant to keep in and everything seems to freeze. That’s no animal, no creature, or bizarre thing. It’s nothing like what they made it seem. That’s a human. A human male kept in a cage, thoroughly restrained. His body is just the same as yours, albeit much larger and far more muscled, but he has the same limbs, the same fingers and toes. No paws or excess fur, just sharp black nails at the ends of his fingers that have put claw marks in the floor. His attention turns to you then and you see his face. He’s what you’d describe as beautiful; his features are both sharp and soft at the same time, his nose strong, and his pale skin dotted with moles and freckles. His face is framed by waves of black hair and he’s captivating, even with blood smeared on his chin and neck.

Your eyes meet. God, his eyes. They’re human, they’re round and the pupils are blown out with his emotions. Even from your place at the other side of the room you can tell the honey brown color and you can see the fear swimming in them. If you didn’t dismiss it as you being crazy, you’d say there was some sort of spark that flared between you both for some inexplicable reason. Like there was a sort of understanding rooted deep down that you didn’t understand. Then it was gone.

And then the frozen second snaps and everything is thrown back into motion. His expression shifts into something angry and fierce and he makes an attempt to lunge at you. His movements are so powerful, even with every limb bearing thick cuffs with chains connected to the wall, even with one around his neck. He comes so close to the glass, his hands reaching in your direction, those claws scraping uselessly against the floor. You flinch back on instinct, your breathing coming fast and hard. It’s then that you see the ears and tail on the man. They are indeed akin to a wolf like the papers said, black ears sitting in his hair and a large, fluffy black tail protruding behind him. When his mouth opens in a snarl, you see the unnaturally sharp canines that he has. They’d rip you apart in no time.

He tries a few more times to get at you before realizing it’s useless. It’s probably not a new feeling for him. He retreats more against the back wall where the chains are connected, making them go slack and giving him more movement. He tries to shrink himself which is hard with such a huge body, his tail coming to wrap around his feet. He doesn’t have much within his cell—only a small cot and a singular blanket as a bed in one corner, and a toilet and sink in the other corner.

You swallow. You realize how long you’ve been standing there without moving so you take one very small step forward. Then another and another until you’re about halfway towards the glass. He watches you with such intensity the entire time it makes you nervous. You try to take another step before he growls at you, a deep and rumbling sound that has you freezing. When you retreat, he stops.

“Okay. I’ll stay here then.” You say, standing in the spot you’d been in before that last step. This is where you’d begin. Small things to make him more comfortable in this unfamiliar environment; you’d follow his rules.

Seeing no chairs around you, you lower yourself to the floor. It’s cold even through your layers but you don’t mind. You have no room to complain when you look at him with no shirt or shoes, nothing to really keep him warm besides thin pants and that blanket on the cot. You study him in silence, just like how he studies you. You feel confusion over the conflict of the report versus what you see before you. The report had first described a wolf-like appearance that could take on a humanoid form but all you see in front of you is a human man with wolf ears and a tail. Maybe they’d overexaggerated?

Now that a fragile peace has settled between the both of you and he’s sitting still, you’re able to see the scar running along the left side of his face. It travels all the way down his collarbone before finally stopping. It’s deep and jagged and you can only imagine how badly it must’ve hurt; he’s lucky he didn’t lose his eye from it. Looking over him, you see he has a multitude of scars all over the planes of his body. He’s a fighter, then. With the way he’d lunged at you as soon as you entered, it doesn’t take you by surprise.

You clear your throat from your nerves. You begin with stating your name. You don’t even know how much he can understand you or if he can at all but you continue anyway. “I’m not here to hurt you. I know you probably don’t trust that, and I understand. We just want to know more about you.” You say. You inwardly cringe because this all sounds so weird to say to another human. You clasp your hands together tightly in your lap. “If you can speak, it would be a huge help if you’d explain some things about yourself. What’s your name and age? Where’d you come from?”

You don’t get a response—you didn’t expect one. He sits there with his knees up to his chest and his face partially hidden by his hair just staring at you, his eyes so wide and telling that it’s hard not to meet that stare. This is how it’ll be then. That’s fine, you’re used to sitting in one spot for hours and watching for an animals every minuscule movement. That’s what you end up doing, merely watching him and studying his body. Every twitch of the finger, every tense of the muscle is something you keep note of. It’s a good way to get a basis of information about what you’re studying so you always have something to compare to. You log everything in your mind for now, thinking how you’ll need to remember your laptop for next time.

There’s a sudden noise that leaves both of you startled. You sit up straighter and his ears perk up as a door to the right inside his cell opens. His wolf ears flatten back against his head and he scoots farther from the door, his chains clinking with the movement. You watch curiously as a human-shaped, somewhat janky robot enters with a plate balanced in its hands. You never see much of the Agency’s robots, mostly because most of them are unfinished and unpolished, but it seems they’re useful when real people don’t want to get near a deadly thing. The robot drops the plate unceremoniously on the floor and you notice with a start that blood splatters. The robot leaves.

Both you and the beast-man look at the plate before he decides to move towards it. You make another mental note about how much he surveys his surroundings before deciding what to do, as if weighing all options and possibilities.

The plate is rather large and holds a copious amount of raw meat, seemingly from multiple different animals based on the coloring and sizes. Blood slowly drips off the edge of the plate, pooling on the white floors. You can’t help the revulsion you feel looking at it as he inches closer, sniffing the scent of meat and blood into his nostrils. His eyes widen at it, pupils expanding, and he immediately takes a massive slab into his hands. His teeth tear into it like it’s paper, those fangs ripping it apart as blood drips down his chin. Despite your disgust, you’re also fascinated. So his digestive system can handle raw foods—like a wolf. I wonder what the layout of it is. What kind of bacteria is in there? You think, pondering over the idea as you watch him eat like a beast.

He finishes most of the plate, leaving only a few tinier pieces that he pushed aside. He must not like the taste of that particular animal. He seems more at ease now that he’s been fed, the worry of whether or not he’d get another meal satiated. He’s unbothered by the blood on his clawed hands and face as he sits back down and returns to watching you. When his eyes find you again there’s a shiver that goes down your back. There’s something in them you can’t place and it creates a weird feeling in your gut that you can’t decipher.

The rest of your day goes by without a hitch. You sit on the floor and study the beast-man in silence. You don’t try talking to him anymore, you’d rather not make a fool of yourself if he won’t say anything back to you—if he even can. He doesn’t do anything, there’s nothing to do in his cell anyway. He sits and watches and at one point he laid down on his back facing you so he could still keep an eye on you. There was one last meal time where you got to see him eat a bunch of raw meat again which wasn’t… great for your own appetite.

Hours passed before the lights finally began to dim, meaning the facility was shutting down for the night. There’ll still be people working the entire time, of course, but they shut down a majority of the power in the unused areas. You sigh to yourself, unfolding your body and getting up with a grunt from the stiffness in your limbs. The beast-man who had been drifting off before is now fully alert, wide eyes watching. You go to move towards the door and he growls at you. It startles you, makes goosebumps pick up along your arms. You look back at him with furrowed brows, confused. “I’m leaving, alright? I won’t bother you anymore.” You huff. This is what he wants so why is he getting pissy? You feel annoyed about his attitude for a second before you remember he’s the one stuck in a cell and you’re not. He has a right to be mad with you.

You sigh again and go to the datapads in the wall by the door. Since you don’t have your laptop, you take a few minutes to input the things you observed today that you’ll just transfer over later. You find yourself writing down a lot more than you thought you would and it makes you feel accomplished, like you actually did something today. When you’re finished, you put your hand on the door handle, ready to leave. But you pause, you look back at him and you know it was a mistake instantly. He looks so sad, so alone and afraid in that large, white room. You struggle to tear yourself away and open that door before you do something crazy.

You shake your head as you enter the hall, the door locking firmly behind you. Your mind feels like it’s shut off while you retrace your steps; back through the winding halls, back up the elevator, back into the main building. Back to your car where you grip the steering wheel with a deadly force, staring blankly at the road on your long drive home. Then finally, back to your small house where there’s no lights on inside because there’s nobody waiting for you.

You unlock the door and step in, a wave of something like loneliness washing over you when you do. It’s strange, it’s never been like this before. You try to ignore it as you shed your lab coat and make a simple dinner and sit on your couch. You don’t move for a moment, your brain deciding that now is a good time to rerun everything from today. That was a man. It wasn’t a beast, not really. And they have him stuck in a cell like that. It’s inhumane, isn’t it?

You find yourself with your head in your hands, groaning loudly as some form of release. “God, what have I gotten myself into?”

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆ .。.:*

Part 2 ⇨

[emotionaldisaster909]

Today’s episode was heartbreaking

We’ve seen so much of Xie Lian’s pain

So much of the fall of XianLe

But now

Will you tell me that it was all his fault?

The “consequence of his actions”?

So what should we blame him for?

For being a child against the most powerful and cruel ancient evil?

The one that lived 1000 years, destroyed all the gods and deceived the entire world?

Or was he too stubborn and not listened to other people?

Well let me tell you

XIE LIAN WAS NEVER WRONG FOR NOT LISTENING TO OTHERS.

Who should he have listened to?

That very evil that told him not to try and help his people?

His guoshi who knew everything and told him nothing but to sacrifice an innocent child in “penance” to that very evil?

Should he have crushed all youngans in one go, kill the poor starving people, led to desparation?

Should he have told his own desperate people that their cure was in murder and watch the inevitable massacre?

The only thing

The only thing that he should have seriously done differently

His biggest, most fatal mistake

He did

BY LISTENING TO SOMEONE WHO TOLD HIM HE WAS WRONG

ONE TIME.

He listened to his father.

The King of Xian Le.

When at the very beginning of it all they had an argument

Where Xie Lian insisted they should melt his golden statues and let the starving homeless people into his shrines

That’s EXACTLY what they should’ve done, but they did not

Because guess what the father said

We can’t. Because we did not build the shrines and the statues.

People of Xian Le did.

Do you want to disregard your people by doing that?

SAID THE KING

Knowing VERY WELL that he is talking about THE ROYALTY OF XIAN LE.

THE RITCH PEOPLE OF XIAN LE.

THE ONES WHO LET HIM RULE.

THE ONES WHO EASILY MIGHT TAKE HIS POWER

AND LIFE AWAY

IF HE DISPLEASES THEM.

But he knows how to PHRASE IT RIGHT to his son who CHERISHES HIS PEOPLE NO MATTER THE STATUS.

And who might very much not know the intricacies behind the ruler’s chambers.

Because Xie Lian

Was

Never

Meant

TO RULE.

He was raised to be a Martial God.

To fight demons and grant wishes.

NOT

TO RULE

A COUNTRY

BUT GUESS WHO

WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO RULE THE COUNTRY????

WHO WAS SUPPOSED TO MAKE SURE A HUGE PART OF IT WON’T STARVE TO DEATH?????

THE KING

And his son had to

ABANDON HEAVEN

To come deal with his mess

You can try blaming Xie Lian for not listening to the prayers from that part of Xian Le.

But he did not NOT listen.

He DID NOT HEAR.

Because the prayers system of “the ritcher - the louder” is inherently corrupt.

And growing up in a wealthy capital

Xie Lian must’ve not even SUSPECTED that there’ll be a part of his country so poor that no offerings would be enough for him to hear the prayers.

He did not know.

BUT THE KING

DID.

There’s no way he didn’t.

Yet does anyone

Does anyone in the book

And outside, anyone of the readers

Ever thought to blame him?

No.

Not even once have i seen this take.

Not even i realised it until recently. Thanks to my dear friend @3luecactuz

And why?

Because Xie Lian tells us the story.

And he himself

Completely believes

That it was all his fault.

When his only real fault was in not standing his ground

Agains the only person

Who held authority in his eyes.

Who was the authority in his life from the very beginning of it.

Who, no matter the future arguments, was the person he loved.

His father.

In the face of the greatest crisis he’s ever seen

Under the pressure to make the right choice for so many innocent lives

He gives in and listenes to a person who he not only inherently trusts

But who objectively had much more experience and knowledge than him

Who’s flaws he has not yet seen clearly enough. And never will.

Because this person raised him to be

Perfect.

And he failed.

Because no one is perfect.

And he believed in it in the wrong time and place. He gave in.

Decided to look for another solution.

And gave the evil orchestrating his demise just enough time to pull the first string.

Of many.

So tell me.

Really, tell me.

Did he deserve this?

Should he have listened more?

Should he have?

Or maybe

Just maybe

He needed someone

Who could have told him

To do what he thinks is right.

[dortman]

Ngl you guys are stronger than me because I turned that shit off at half time 😭

[awesomenikie]

Bucktommy bones. Thank you Beyoncé.

[chaoswrites]

i blocked kokobot

[an-established-butt-dent]

Soooooo after the new details that have been revealed about Veilguard, how do we all imagine a Solavellan reunion is going down? Trapped in the fade together? Lighthouse makeout sessions? A very sad mural dedicated to his Vhenan? My brain is infested with new headcanons.

[ghostdrinkssoup]

the thing that really gets me about mizumono is that will doesn’t even fight back. he saw alana mangled outside. he knows jack might be dead. he has a loaded gun in hand. but not once does he try to hurt hannibal. he doesn’t even shoot. will just lets him caress his cheek, fingers curling into his hair. there’s no resistance. when hannibal stabs him, will leans into it. he doesn’t want to escape. and it all hurts so badly because it’s not like will tricked hannibal into loving him; he simply persuaded him that he might love him back. because that’s what will thought hannibal did to him in s1, and only now does he realise that maybe it was more real for hannibal than he thought. or worse, that maybe he wants to be with hannibal regardless of whether hannibal genuinely loves him. that maybe it’s worth it to be close to him, even if his touch splits his stomach open

[add1ctedt0you]

Jiang Cheng & Jiang Yanli

[sturnioloho]

overstimulation edit

[yeagrave]

halloween prepping

[ close ups below the cut + click images for better quality🫶✨ ]

[voilaammayi]

when john and sherlock start accidentally but blatantly flirting with each other at the end of the 12th episode and I can sense the faint smell of building up romance:

[dykedvonte]

Danse and Hancock work only after blind betrayal because it’s the equivalent of the one closeted person you kinda pity getting kicked out after being outted and you and your like 7 other faggot friends take them in and help them do a 180 on their outlook on life and personal style and get them to weed (possibly grape mentats in this case).

[amaliatheartist]

'Cause all the angels say,

[9ofspades]

It’s disability pride month, and if you are disabled in the U.S. from Long Covid I want you to know that you’re not alone, and you’re valid in whatever you feel. Whether that’s sorrow at your new problems or rage at society for failing you, you are valid, and it is truly messed up that society is continuing to fail you.

[definitelynuwonhere]

I can’t be the only one who heard and died at his Laskolike “ah⬆️”

[whoblewboobear]

Jace was totally a Hudol kid right?

He failed wizardry 101 three years in a row, he probably hooked up with your crush, ​he was voted most likely to be arrested on account of all the pranks he pulled around campus. He smokes cigarettes in the parking lot. He’s at the top of his sorcery classes and his name is on everyone’s lips, he’s Jace Stardiamond and if you don’t know him, then maybe you’re just not cool enough to.

By the time he’s a junior, everyone has an idea of who he is but when he’s alone with himself, he has a hard time deciding if he knows who he is. Every moment of his life he’s been told the whos, whats and whys and he feels trapped inside of the labels and high standards so he takes comfort in the unknown.

For once he finally feels in tune with his magic. He doesn’t need to know where it comes from when it comes to him as easy as breathing. He still has such a keen eye for it, though. He approaches sorcery with such a precision and resolve that leaves people in awe of him, the attention doesn’t hurt either.

He always admired that quality in the wizards surrounding him, there’s no reason he can’t borrow that kind of self discipline for himself if it leads to better self discovery.

Still, he can’t take the way his old wizardry textbooks mock him from where they live on his bookshelf. He finds a home for them far at the top of his closet and doesn’t look back.

-

Is2g the way he told Adaine he couldn’t take a level of wizard, “I tried.” And then him saying he always thought wizards were a bit stinky has haunted me since the finale aired. That man has a deep vendetta associated with wizardry, you just know it. That shit haunts him.