#i could...... like........ pay someone?

[weirdopponent]

Today she is red. Glazed in impatient strokes of mine, a gift, red like cremation, like the still-living coals.

She bows her head, a lamb, and allows me to touch her face. She shakes, but is not flinching. "I don't have to do it like this."

Grace does not say anything. Grace pushes into my hands, till they curve under her jaw. Till I can feel the shape of her skull. Till I can time the pace of blood running through her heart. She knows it was a lie - no one else will be able to love her like this, as she is, as she will be.

I break her into pieces.

I dismantle her. I smash her with my open palm until she becomes a formless crumple, blood blooming slowly with each strike. Her dark hair I hack off with safety scissors like gravestones crumbling in bad weather. Her clothes I burn in the industrial furnace - nothing I can keep, so ash it all will be.

The rest is all artifice - I do not change her skin. I open it, step inside it, wearing it, I become her. I wear a too-tight sports bra that makes my ribs ache, each breath restrained against the form, precious. And with the right shirt - it almost looks like me. The memory of her lies crumpled at my feet, an unceremonious death. It hurts like nothing else could hurt, to outlive your daughter. But that's no problem of mine.

Today I am red. My nail polish is chipping, stains the cuticles like blood. Mother looks at me like it is blood, like Grace's body lies crumpled on my feet, instead of in the lines of mine. "I am the only way she could be."

[puppyeared]

horrible truth bomb dropped on my head 20 min ago

[inkskinned]

100,000 dollars is not a lot of money.

it is also a lot more money than i will ever have. my student loans make up half of that - they're coming back, i'm told, like we all bounced back recently. the other day while paying for gas to go to work, i overdrew my account without knowing it.

i sat in the car and looked at the charge and tried to do the math. where the fuck is the money even going? i don't live extravagantly. i live in a hole in the ground, in an apartment the size of a sneeze; covered in ants. yes, i wanted to live close to a population center. maybe that's my fault. i've downloaded the apps and i've spoken to the experts and i've cut back on excess. i can't help the pharmacy bills or the medical debt.

i have a good, well-paying job. when i googled it to see if i was getting a fair salary, i found out i'd be making "upper middle class" money. which doesn't make sense - is "upper middle class" now just "able to afford a one-bedroom without a roommate". when i was younger, upper-middle meant a nice big house and a backyard and vacations and not flinching about eating at a resturant.

i was talking to my friend who is a realtor. he said 100,000 dollars is extremely cheap for housing. he's not wrong. 100,000 dollars would change my life. 100,000 dollars also won't really buy you anything. it could get you out of debt, potentially, if you were lucky and had a certain amount of scholarships to tack onto your degree. you could pay off the car and then have enough left over for "spending" money. how fucking amazing. one vacation, maybe two if you're thrifty. and then - like magic - the money would evaporate into nothing. people would sigh and tell you see, you should have put it into savings! like "upper middle class" people can't afford to value "actually living" over squirrelling wealth. you should spend your life only in scarcity. like that is what made the rich people all their real "actually a lot of money".

100,000 dollars would literally set me free. it also would just set me back to "earning normally" instead of paying down debt into infinity. god, do you know how many of us just want that? that our first thought is we could stop scrambling and just be free of debt if we won the lottery? that we don't even necessarily need to stop working - we just wouldn't have to worry about failing or falling?

and. at the same time. 100,000 dollars is next to fucking nothing.

[crow-caller]

Im not just saying this bc I'm a youtube person who does it.

MAN I wish it was more common for youtuber video essayist to upload their videos as text essays.

I understand it might be born from some idea of limiting views/profits if people just read your vids on a blog rather than watch. But there's so many essays I don't want to watch but would read.

There's a lot of book reviewers too who only operate on YT and not a blog. I get it. But I often can't watch a 2 hour vid but can read 15k words, y'know?

[artsfavoritehorn]

I LOVE the idea of being the only one that can control Art- or at least keep him controlled for the time being. Like with one word or phrase you can communicate to him to hold back from going after someone even if he really wants to- of course if he really wants to do something he's gonna do it no matter what, but you at least have a much better chance at convincing him in certain things than anyone else would lol

[mothman-etd]

Hey, I know you are somewhat techie, cause I follow Joy and you! I am curious if you could help explain something for the unenlightened.

I am very curious what a "bot" is, like I know it is a fake account, but where do they come from? Why do they exist? Do they serve a purpose? Is there some force (group, person, sever?) behind them?

I have been on Tumblr for years, and recently have been SLAMMED with bot follows and just am so curious why now...?

TLDR - Please explain the origin, history and role of bots?

WHAT ARE BOTS?

"Bots" is short for robots, and in this context is a computer program that works as an agent for another system or simulates a human being/human action.

Example, I can write a bot that could search for frog pictures on the internet, log into my tumblr, and post one of those pictures for me. Now that I have my fancy bot I can have posts of frog pictures always going up on my tumblr feed without any interaction on my part.

A porn bot is an extension of malicious bots, these are robots that were designed to perform an action that will ultimately generate money for the person who wrote them. Usually illegal activity and to the detriment of innocent victims the bots interact with.

The porn bots I have seen on tumblr specifically attempt to get me to click on a link that probably has a payload that would install some malware on my computer. What can someone do with a hacked computer? Well a whole bunch of stuff.

(I got this image from Krebs on Security, https://krebsonsecurity.com/2012/10/the-scrap-value-of-a-hacked-pc-revisited/, who is a journalist who likes to report on cyber security news)

What a hacker can do with your compromised PC is quite a bit so I am not going to go much further then that in this post, but just know all those items in the above image can be leveraged to steal money.

WHY DOES TUMBLR HAVE SO MANY PORN BOTS?

Honestly the recent influx of these on Tumblr probably relates to the situation happening at Twitter. Tumblr's reputation is on the rise for the first time in awhile, it is having very positive user growth and online attention. This in turn attracts the attention of thieves and gangs looking to make money off the crowd. In much the same way pick-pockets work crowded train stops, scammers need to operate where other humans are congregating.

This is a VERY brief run down on Tumblr's porn bots, but this is a huge topic that people dedicate their whole career to understanding.

So hopefully this answered your general question, let me know if you have another question or want me to get more specific about something.

[bijoumikhawal]

rewatched the wire. The things that stuck out to me this time were Truly, how Into Each Other's Personal Space these two are so quickly (particularly when Garak falls to his knees in his quarters and Julian immediately is kneeling in front of him- their knees had to have been touching), and the way Julian is both very bossy and soft spoken, and the softness of his speech doesn't take away from the authority he exercises. Also, how genuinely fucking cocky he is towards Tain, like this is a PTA mom and not. The retired head of a black ops intelligence agency. I'm sure I've noted it before but it's truly jawdropping to witness. You don't even have backup, my man.

[kyouka-supremacy]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

[i-reblog-everything44]

The fandom when Anya is nice to jimmy and compliments/butters him up after the crash: obviously this is a fawn response. She doesn’t actually think these things about jimmy, she is simply trying to protect herself against a volatile, unstable person by placating him

The fandom when curly tries to placate jimmy by telling Jimmy he’d fix things, after being very nervous about jimmy’s anger and reaction when talking to Anya right beforehand and his heart racing so hard on the way to confront jimmy that he’s likely on the verge of a panic or anxiety attack: hmm. Obviously everything curly is saying to jimmy here is completely genuine and not motivated by anything. He obviously doesn’t care about the fact jimmy raped Anya and only cares about helping jimmy at the detriment to Anya. He’s a rape apologist. There could literally be no other potential explanation for why curly is saying the things he is saying right now. Let’s take everything curly is saying here completely at face value and not analyze anything else about Curly’s behavior or the rest of the scene.

[seriously why are people only capable of recognizing the fawn response in Anya and not Curly]

[daftpatience]

finally figuring out how to draw my fursona

[puppyeared]

i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you

[maya-caffrey]

can we bring back procedurals? or at least just proper shows like how TV used to be? 5 to 15 seasons, a generous amount of episodes per season, 45 minutes: the sweet spot between too long and too short, pilot episodes that are wildly different from the rest of the show, filler episodes that overall contribute nothing but are extremely fun because that is what god intended, random musical episode, crossovers, waiting an entire week in anticipation to see what happens next, like, this was the PEAK of television, where did we go wrong

[kevindavidday]

literally cannot stop thinking about the foxes growing up to be helpful adults especially the monsters because like with the upperclassmen and even with nicky its slightly more expected as compared to the twinyards, kevin and neil

not by my own definition but by the perception people have of them in canon - the selfish, hotheaded or largely indifferent to everyone except their own affairs type of people

but aaron chose to become a doctor and i think of him seeing mothers give up their kids at birth and of people constantly loving and losing and how possible it is for him to be known as a kind doctor - someone who would sit with a man who lost his wife or a mother who's lost her child, someone who would do coffee runs for his colleagues and give flowers to recovering patients (and maybe katelyn bought them the first time but he could repeat the gesture, yknow? he's got a good learning curve)

im thinking of kevin making sure that a portion of his hefty income goes to actual genuine charities and for work against human trafficking and child abuse because what's he going to do with this much money? particularly after amalia is born he would be so much more careful if he ever sees kids or teenagers in parking lots and senses some imminent danger

not just that but kevin keeping an eye out for his fans or any signing events he has where he sees something unfair happen and steps in or asks security to step in immediately i feel like for him its still difficult to put himself on the forefront of a threatening situation unlike andreil but he does his best to try and to listen to the kids that come and rant to him about exy to entertain them with his genuine smiles

idk just the idea of the monsters being so very human and recognizing humanity in others is something that can be so personal

[torchstelechos]

I would love for the party to see Mal, I think it would be fascinating to have them see Siffrin's saddness in full bloom. The voice mimicry, the almost perfect copy, the horrid things spilling from its mouth... I think it would be interesting <3

[thesarcasticism]

y'all i did NOT just buy the persona 3 stage play dvds on ebay just so i could translate all the shinjiham moments 😭😭😭

[flufflecat]

Alex Hirsch called on my sister for a question about the creative industry, and he had the kindest things to say