#i could write a whole essay about his expression here

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i’m sorry but alex’s reaction to being shown a compilation of nude men and half-clothed male athletes on a french talk show is quite simply one of the best things i’ve ever witnessed

[pandapetals]

hello! i hope you’re doing okay i missed your professor logan/logan works in general and wanted to request something if that’s okay, it was about reader being yknow the eldest daughter and how she does everything herself and listens to others before herself too and logan recognises this too

Hi! I know it has been a while. I took a break from writing, and then the whole drama made me feel icky. Anyway, hopefully this meets your request (eldest daughter here myself). I haven't written for Logan in a bit. I feel out of practice, though Joel and Logan are very similar. Miss Independent

summary: logan makes you take a break.

pairing: professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader

content warnings: established relationship (y'all married), cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, no reader description, your an english professor, logan is a history professor - imagine days of future past logan with the white streaks in his hair

a/n: divider by @saradika-graphics.

Logan rolled his eyes, crossing the room with a look that was equal parts exasperation and worry. “Darlin’, you look like hell,” he grumbled, though his voice was soft as his hand came up to rest against your clammy forehead. “And don’t give me that ‘I’m fine’ crap. You’ve been runnin’ yourself into the ground for days.”

You opened your mouth to protest, but your throat felt like sandpaper and your body ached in that bone-deep, weary way that no amount of stubbornness could ignore. Still, old habits die hard.

“I just need to finish grading these papers and—”

“No,” Logan cut in firmly, plucking the red pen from your hand and setting it on the desk. “You need to get your ass in bed.”

He could see it in your eyes—the fight, the refusal, that ingrained eldest daughter instinct that said if you stopped moving, everything would fall apart. You’d been carrying the weight of a hundred tiny responsibilities: students’ essays, Laura’s bottles, folding laundry at midnight, making lists for Logan’s grocery runs, quietly worrying about everyone but yourself.

Logan sighed, his expression softening as he crouched down in front of you, resting his rough hands on your knees. “Sweetheart… you take care of everybody else. Let someone take care of you for once.”

You blinked down at him, tears stinging the corners of your tired eyes, because the truth was…you didn’t know how. Not really.

“Who’s gonna—” you started, but your voice cracked, and Logan cut you off with a gentle shush.

“I���ll handle it,” he promised. “The kids’ll survive, the mansion won’t burn down, and I’ll call Jean to keep an eye on things if I have to. Laura’s nappin’ right now, and when she wakes up, I’ll rock her. You are gonna sleep. End of discussion.”

You gave a weak laugh, your body sagging a little in the chair. “Bossy.”

“Damn right.” Logan scooped you up before you could protest, carrying you bridal-style toward the bed. “Could’ve told ya years ago, darlin’—I ain’t lettin’ you wear yourself down.”

As he settled you into the covers, he brushed a strand of hair from your face and kissed your temple. Laura’s soft cries sounded from the other room, but Logan just gave you a look. “Don’t even think about it,” he warned playfully. “I’ve got her. You get some rest.”

And as he padded out of the room to tend to your daughter, you let yourself sink into the pillows for the first time in what felt like forever. And for the first time in longer than you could remember, you let Logan carry the world for a while.

You knew he could handle it — he always did. But lately, things hadn’t been easy, not for either of you.

Adjusting to life with a baby had been beautiful and brutal in equal measure. The kind of love that cracked you open and made you raw. The type of exhaustion you felt in your bones. And somewhere along the way, the easy rhythm you and Logan once moved in had gotten out of sync. Conversations cut short by cries. Date nights replaced with midnight feedings. Your bed was too full of baby bottles and stuffed animals, too empty of whispered jokes and soft touches in the dark.

If you were honest, part of that was your fault.

You’d spent your whole life as the eldest daughter. The one who made sure the house didn’t fall apart, the one who filled the fridge, calmed the younger kids, and patched up scraped knees while your parents fought in the other room. It taught you how to be capable. It also taught you that asking for help was a weakness. And that carried into your marriage, even when you promised yourself it wouldn’t.

You felt it lately — the stretch, the strain. The way you brushed off Logan’s hand when he tried to take over a chore. How you snapped at him when he gently told you to rest. The way your chest tightened every time you saw him sitting with Laura, feeling like you were missing it all, like you weren’t enough.

Logan… he noticed. Of course he did. But neither of you had quite figured out how to talk about it.

Now, sitting on the edge of the bed, achy and feverish, watching him disappear into the next room with Laura, you felt it again — that weight in your chest. Not from being sick, but from knowing you kept trying to carry too much. That old, gnawing guilt for not doing it all, for not being everything, for not being the glue.

When Logan came back, his hair mussed and his shirt streaked with formula, he looked at you with that same damn look he always gave you when he knew you were about to bottle it up again.

“I’m not mad, you know,” he said, leaning against the doorway. “That you’re tired. Or that it’s hard. Or that we ain’t got this whole thing figured out yet.”

You didn’t answer, your eyes stinging.

“I married you knowin’ you’re stubborn. That you take on too much, that you don’t know when to quit,” he went on, a rough sort of fondness in his voice. “But you don’t have to prove nothin’ to me, darlin’. Not now. Not ever.”

A tear slipped free, and you managed a shaky laugh. “I don’t know how to let you help.”

“I know,” he said, crossing the room and sitting beside you. “But you’re gonna learn. 'Cause we ain’t gonna make it through this if you don’t.”

You leaned your head against his shoulder, his scent — leather, smoke, and baby powder now — wrapping around you. And for the first time in a long while, you let yourself lean a little heavier.

“I miss you,” you whispered.

Logan pressed a kiss to your hair. “Miss you, too, sweetheart. We’ll figure it out.”

You sniffled, nuzzling your face into the curve of his neck, the warmth of his skin and steady thrum of his pulse grounding you. Logan’s hand traced slow, soothing circles along your back, his calloused palm rough and familiar in a way that made your heart ache.

“You always know how to get me to stop acting like I’ve got it all under control,” you murmured, your voice thick and a little watery.

“Sweetheart,” he said with a low, fond chuckle, pressing a kiss to your temple, “you don’t fool me for a second.”

You let out a tired laugh, one that felt like it loosened something tight in your chest.

Logan pulled back just enough to look at you, his thumb brushing a tear off your cheek. “Now, how about I grab Laura, bring her in here, and the three of us call it a night? No dishes. No papers. No guilt. Just us.”

You sniffled again, a smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah,” you whispered, brushing your nose against his. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Logan grinned, giving you one last squeeze before standing up. “Be right back, Mrs. Howlett.”

When he returned a minute later, cradling a sleepy, blinking Laura against his chest — her tiny hand clutching the fabric of his worn t-shirt — your heart swelled so painfully full you thought it might burst.

He settled beside you, tucking Laura into your arms, then pulled the blanket over all three of you. The world could wait. The worries, the exhaustion, the endless to-do lists — they could wait, too.

For now, it was just this. Warm skin. Baby-soft breaths. A gruff man with a heart too big for his good. And you, finally letting yourself rest, surrounded by the family you never quite believed you’d have.

Logan pressed one more kiss to your hair and whispered, “Love you, darlin’. Always.”

You smiled into the quiet, replying softly, “Love you too, tough guy.”

[sailorblossoms-rankane]

This is probably an unpopular opinion, but when it comes to Rankane fics, I get annoyed when the fic takes place post-Jusenkyo/post-manga yet the conflict is still Ranma not admitting that he loves Akane or not realizing that he loves her. I mean, sure progress is not linear, but you’re telling me that Ranma - who felt like he had no reason to live anymore thinking that Akane died in Jusenkyo, crying that he never got to tell her that he loved her - is still struggling to realize he loves Akane post-Jusenkyo? I don’t know I’m probably taking it too seriously, but I wanna know your thoughts. 

To me, it’s like every Hotel Transylvania sequel being about Dracula struggling to respect his daughter’s life decisions and accept her bf/husband (I thought you learned your lesson in the last movie Dracula, why are you relearning the same lesson for the nth time).

Every time I see "Ranma doesn't know how he feels about Akane" or "he needs some sort of intervention to stop being indecisive and choose Akane" I'm in danger of suffering a stroke. I won't spend time looking for panels for this response to not endanger myself, I'll just vent: I need everyone to make the conscious efforts of emptying their minds, letting go of whatever the fuck they absorbed when they watched the show before they read the manga, because they're absolutely not doing the same things. Anime Ranma is often either a cardboard or a fraud. I need him to get shot before anyone opens a doc or grabs a pen to draft a story. He's deceiving you! Let him go! It is that serious!

The thing about good ol' Ranma is that HE KNOWS HE'S IN LOVE WITH AKANE. HE KNOWS IT FROM VOLUME 1. HE DENIES IT BECAUSE HE'S A SHY BITCH WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH FEELINGS BUT HE KNOWS. STOP PLAYING WITH ME. Here's something important about Ranma: he's so secure in his feelings for Akane that he doesn't think there's anything to choose in the first place. Deep down he thinks it's locked in. This is why sometimes, when he gets jealous (which the old show KEPT OMITTING AGAIN AND AGAIN) he talks as if he thinks Akane is cheating on him. At worst, he can take Akane for granted (and so he's punished) The person who's more dense here in realizing their feelings at first is Akane, but she doesn't take fucking forever to know either.

Ranma and Akane are sparring. That's their dynamic throughout the manga. Ranma's whole deal in the final arc, when he denies that he said "I love you" out loud (which is true, he screams it in his thoughts, he didn't say it out loud. This being interpreted as "Ranma took back his I love you" is INSANE. Akane doesn't take it that way either, next panel she's going "you might as well have said it out loud you son of a bitch") is that being straightforward and verbally expressing his feelings FIRST is the equivalent of him losing their match, and he refuses to lose. Akane won't say it first either because "what if Ranma, immature and emotionally stunted as he is, makes fun of her instead?" there's pride here too. We could write an essay on what hold Akane and Ranma back from confessing their love, but they spend practically the whole manga in love and aware.

[susicheng]

༘⋆ speechless (not if i can help it) . . . o.sn

00. discount motivational speaker

. . .

subject: urgent concern regarding graduation speech changes

dear mr. kim,

i hope this email finds you well, though i can’t imagine how it would, considering the chaos your ceremony change has caused.

i am writing to express my deep concern, disappointment, and, frankly, rage over the changes to the graduation ceremony speeches. as valedictorian of ncit high, i’ve sacrificed sleep, weekends, and a social life to earn this honor. i’ve worked tirelessly, not to mention consumed an obscene amount of caffeine, for the privilege of addressing my peers at graduation. now, it seems, that effort means nothing.

your decision to merge or eliminate one of the speeches is not just unfair; it’s insulting. the valedictorian speech is a cornerstone of the graduation ceremony. cutting it—or combining it with the class president’s speech—is like watering down coffee: it ruins the whole point. while i understand the importance of change, this particular change feels like a slap in the face to those of us who have upheld this school’s standards and traditions.

i have to ask: who thought this was a good idea? was there any consultation with students, staff, or even your own conscience? if the answer is no, i strongly urge you to reconsider this decision. better yet, reverse it entirely. we’re not asking for the moon here—just the chance to honor the achievements of both the valedictorian and class president without undermining either role.

i trust that as our new principal, you care about the voices of your students. or is that just the nice PR you sold to the school board? i look forward to your prompt response and a resolution that doesn’t feel like a poorly executed experiment.

thank you for your time. or, more accurately, for fixing this.

sincerely, yn ln ncit high valedictorian, class of 2025

subject: re: urgent concern regarding graduation speech changes dear yn ln, thank you for your email. i can see that this is an issue you feel strongly about—your use of bold words and thinly veiled sarcasm certainly made that clear. while i respect your passion and appreciate the time you’ve taken to express your thoughts (and frustrations), i must inform you that the changes to the graduation ceremony are final. yes, i understand this decision may feel like the end of the world—or at least your world—but it was made after careful consideration. streamlining the ceremony allows us to focus on celebrating the graduating class as a whole, not just individual achievements. i understand that this is not the response you were hoping for. you’ve worked hard, and that’s commendable. but let’s be clear: change is inevitable, and learning to adapt is a valuable skill. the decision is not meant to undermine your achievements but rather to modernize a tradition that, frankly, could use a little updating. if you feel this is unfair, you’re welcome to schedule a meeting to discuss alternative ways to highlight your accomplishments. however, the speech format is set, and no amount of all-caps emails or strongly worded essays is going to change that. i hope you’ll take this as an opportunity to show the leadership and maturity expected of someone in your position. best regards, mr. kim principal, ncit high

. . .

subject: about the graduation speech changes

hi mr. kim,

i wanted to talk about something i heard about you making changes to the graduation speeches. i’ll be honest, a lot of people are confused and upset about it, and i can’t say i blame them. as class president, the speech at graduation is something i’ve been looking forward to for a long time. it’s kind of a big deal to me, and i know it means a lot to the people who voted for me too.

changing things now, so close to the end of the year, feels a little unfair. it’s tradition, you know? and graduation is supposed to be about celebrating everything we’ve worked for, not cutting corners to make it flow better. i’m not saying you didn’t have your reasons, but i think this decision is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way.

is there any way we can reconsider this? maybe there’s a compromise that keeps the ceremony special without making it feel like we’re losing something important. let me know if you’d be willing to talk about it.

thanks for listening, sion

subject: re: about the graduation speech changes hi sion, thanks for reaching out. i appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the graduation speech changes—it’s clear this is something you care deeply about, and that means a lot to me as your principal. i understand why this decision might feel disappointing, especially for someone in your position. however, after careful consideration, the changes to the ceremony are final. the goal here isn’t to take anything away from the students but to create a ceremony that is efficient, cohesive, and reflective of the graduating class as a whole. i know this isn’t the answer you were hoping for, but i encourage you to see this as an opportunity to adapt and shine in a new way. if you have specific ideas about how we can make the speech—or any part of the ceremony—feel more special, i’m open to hearing them. let’s work together to make this a graduation everyone will remember for the right reasons. thanks again for speaking up. i’m proud of your leadership and the example you set for your classmates. best, mr. kim

pay a visit to; . . the masterlist . . the next work

© susicheng .. please do not copy, reupload, or translate my work

#: @holyhaech @f6llsun @fae-renjun @i03jae @doughyk @kukkurookkoo @222brainrot @ballsa420 @jeonghansshitester @chenlezip @mi1kteaa

[bluberryfields]

"David is very easy to fall in love with." - Michael Sheen

Hi. How are you? Good, I hope. Okay, so can we talk about just how fucking beautiful David Tennant is? And by “we” I mean “I” and by “talk” I mean “babble incoherently into the void”? Great! I’ll attempt to impose a bit of organization on this just to satisfy my pathological need to inflict structure on words (thanks college/job/brain), but I can’t promise much. Also, there will be A LOT of pictures and gifs. (you’re welcome?)

And this isn’t just because I am deep in the bottomless well of Good Omens fandom and that Crowley is basically the most breathtaking creature that has ever existed. Well, not just because of that.

*cue Aziraphale's "good lord" from 1793*

ANYWAY, like a lot of people, I became a fan of (i.e., fell deeply and irrevocably in love with) DT during his run as the 10th Doctor. He was young and bright and full of just about everything – joy, sorrow, wit – making him incredibly watchable. His look was also so charming: big bouncy rooster comb of hair, absurdly cheeky smile, expressive-as-fuck eyes and eyebrows, and a tall, lanky form that seemed to be made of rubber and the kind of granulated sugar that could only be found in candy from the 90s that are now banned in all first- and second-world countries.

So yeah, I was super into him and his Doctor’s adventures. And I continued to watch him in other projects and still swoon (looking at you, slutty Hamlet)

even at characters where that was not the desired reaction (fuck you, Kilgrave, you delicious monster).

I would also always become a bit (a lot) weak in the knees at his voice regardless of which accent he took on, though always preferring him doing any Scottish brogue because of fucking course.

Roll that tongue, you sexy beast.

But what I want to get into today is just how incredible he looks in the year of 2023.

He’s 52 years old and I am somehow even more attracted to him. Maybe it’s because I am myself older, and my tastes have matured alongside? I certainly do enjoy gray hair way more than I did 10 years ago.

He’s aged incredibly well, probably a combination of good genes and good health, and he’s clearly not clinging to the Hollywood idea of “youth”.

(insert obligatory grumble about the double standards of men being praised for aging and women being demonized…the potentially problematic nature of the term “aging well” in general…acknowledge this with my enlightened brain but ignore this with my slutty heart…fuck the patriarchy, etc. etc.)

He’s still tall and skinny, even gangly at times, all long arms and legs that can move in impossible directions with unfathomable grace.

His face is leaner, that incredible bone structure creating sharper edges that draw the eye. Speaking of the face, he’s got these creases on his forehead and at the corners of his eyes and mouth that are evidence of time spent well: smiling, laughing, living. Makes you want to trace your fingertips along each one.

Oh god that smile? Good lord. It’s weapons grade charm that can also be quite intimidating. Sweet, humble, silly, scary…full spectrum of options here! His shark smile is the definition of “irresistible” in my Dictionary of Delicious Dudes.

I am both proud of and grossed out by my own word choice.

Continuing with that face...the hawkish nose, the dimples you want to drown in, the big eyes, those motherfucking eyebrows...

I could seriously write a whole essay about those eyebrows, but I already give my therapist enough to worry about.

Oh those eyes. “Piercing” is a term usually reserved for blue eyes, but I would argue it applies to DT’s bottomless chocolate pools in that they slice through my heart every damn time.

Honorable mention does go to those Crowley snake eyes because they could have been distracting and diminishing to his overall look, but they absolutely are not.

Such a pretty shade of yellow.

Random tangent to swoon about his hands. For whatever reason, I like checking out a man’s hands, and DT’s got a set that drives me wild. I can’t even really explain why, but I just really like the way he articulates with them. Crowley is a perfect example, what with the miracle snaps, caressing globes, and holding whisky glasses. Yum.

Delicious demon digits

Fresh tangent: How does this fucker look good clean shaven, with stubble, and a goddamn beard? How is that allowed?

He's got a face that makes me wanna take up sculpting

Further, how is his fucking neck so hot? Like, seriously, show me the math. I can’t stop staring at it. And when it’s cloaked in a turtleneck? Please, sir, may I have some more?

Fuuuuuuuck

With no segue whatsoever, I am absolutely obsessed with his hair, across all contexts. Big, bold, blood-red Crowley coifs (especially in Season 2)? Check.

Proper gentleman side part? Check.

Side shave with cartoonishy springy 14th Doctor shock? Check.

Lockdown locks with and without headband? Check!

It’s a goddamn buffet of delicious options.

Oh damn speaking of that 14th Doctor look? Good fucking Christ on a buttery Ritz cracker. The whole DT collection is on display: the hair, the eyes, the bone structure, the smile, the clothes, and even the glasses!

To quote Pam on Archer, “I swear to god, you could drown a toddler in my panties right now! I mean, not that you would.”

Now that you (I) mention the clothes, I never cease to marvel at how he can wear pretty much anything and look amazing. Stripes, patterns, wild colors, etc. He just always looks���not exactly comfortable, but sort of at ease like the clothes were created with him in mind. And this goes across the spectrum of Casual to Costume to Promotional (e.g., interviews and premieres).

They are almost illegally cute together

We all know by now how ridiculously tight those Crowley pants are and how it influenced his signature serpentine swagger (thank you, Costume department, you’re the real heroes). That said, he and those slinky hips still looks so incredibly natural in them like they came from his actual closet.

Stupid sexy snek

And he pulls off the look of more ridiculous stuff like full Shakespearean costumes or that sad gray-hoodie-black-shorts-and-Wellington-boots combo from the first season of Staged. He somehow gives off the air of “whatever, they’re just clothes, man” while also looking like a damn model.

Georgia is a very lucky woman

Final thoughts: I know DT dislikes talking about how people think he’s so attractive because I’m sure it feels a bit icky if you just want to live your life and do your job. But my guy also clearly understands that he’s not some ghoul who has succeeded on incredible personality and acting chops alone. So, that said, maybe he'll forgive me for posting such a long, rambling, ode to him?

[yudrein-aile]

I have reached ch 400 of turning. Kinda obsessed with the difference between the two timelines Kishiyu... Yudrain is like. Young! And doesn't understand politics that well. And there's so much baggage. And meanwhile Yuder is like. 30. He's constantly like "ah these young kids". There's still baggage but he is so much older and experienced and Kishiar responds to that differently than he did + different circumstances (like. Ch 400. Full info not yet revealed). Anyway I came to !!! Because idk who else to !!! At about this

Please !!! here any time, I love hearing your thoughts! sorry you're getting a whole god damn essay reply i had to put a read more.

Yuder is, and continues to be, incredibly harsh on his younger self, especially at the start, some of it is deserved - calling his younger self arrogant and quick to anger - but a lot of it, I think, is also just colored by how much was asked of him vs. how much he could do.

Yuder judges immediately in the first chapter that joining the Cavalry seemed "like a chance for dazzling success and thrilling adventures" as he had not "outgrown his boyishness". In the same paragraph he also judges that he didn't know anything about the intrigues and politics he'd find himself in, "that everything comes with a price, and that he was not well-suited for such pursuits".

In chapter 3 he straight up calls his twenty-year-old self "a poor country bumpkin with a gloomy expression".

So like, the impression we get of twenty-year-old Yuder, to me, is that of a 20 year old kid, who's not really socialized because his grandfather died seven years ago and he's been on his own ever since, and thinks that maybe getting to meet others like him, measuring his powers against them, would be fun.

Generally spekaing, the vibes I got from Yuder is that if he could, he would've done nothing but train all day. He's not interested in leadership, but then he's made Cavalry Commander. In chapter 2, he points out this rise in status himself:

"The previous Yuder had held a great deal of power and influence as the Cavalry commander of the Empire, but now he was nothing more than a young newcomer from the countryside. Who would actually listen to someone like that?"

Think back on the literary lessons - most Cavalry members couldn't even read or write when they joined the Cavalry. Yuder could read, but not really write well. Imagine that, he's twenty, he just learned how to write properly, Kishiar manages to mcfuck himself up during the Red Stone Retrieval Mission and decides "yes, that one will be my successor".

Like to Yuder, even ten years later, it seemed like Kishiar pretty quickly and decisively decided to make Yuder his successor.

Why did Kishiar La Orr pass the position of leader to Yuder at that time? And without any hesitation, as if it had been planned from the beginning.

And it's mentioned at times - a lot more later when Yuder knows what's up - we learn also that Yuder received proper lessons from Kishiar (and Nathan) and probably a whole bunch of other people to prep him for his work as Commander. Because Yuder does do well. The Cavalry is thriving, outpacing every other organization withing years. Sure, he's an interpersonal nightmare, but he did also pay for like parties if it was requested or so. And again, he went from semi literate commoner to Count and, argueably, one of the Emperor's most trusted men. That's insane.

And now in the second timeline, Yuder takes that knowledge with him. He knows what to expect, what he learned by trial and error. Just think about the second gender manifestations that go well. Heck, his own, I'd argue, is his turning (ha) point. The first 150ish chapters really do feel like Yuder's only in survival mode, but after his own second gender manifestation, the thing that IMO definitely fucked up his and Kishiar's relationship in the first timeline (mutual non-con my beloved trope <3), it's like an awakening (sorry full of bad puns today).

And for their relationship in the 2nd timeline!! Kishiar and Nathan both pick up that Yuder's more skilled than he should be. In chapter 17 we have this exchange:

"Nathan." "Yes." After Yuder left, Kishiar, staring at the chilled teacup on the opposite side, opened his mouth. Kishiar's cup was empty, but the one on the other side remained untouched, just as it had been from the start. "What do you think of that guy?" It was an unusual question. Nathan pondered for a moment before answering. "If I hadn't heard of his background beforehand, I would never have guessed he was a commoner." He was unmistakably a commoner, an orphan, barely twenty, yet he did not falter in front of Nathan, let alone in front of the noble duke who was as esteemed as the heavens.

And in chapter 59 we got:

Ever since first meeting him, Nathan Zuckerman had been continually investigating Yuder Aile's background. But just as his lord had predicted, there was nothing to find. His past was impeccably clean.

People regularly are in genuine awe of Kishiar because of the whole sun god thing, and I'd say in the first timeline, while also annoyed with Kishiar, to a degree did treat him according to station before he was made Commander and was even more annoyed with Kishiar.

And now here comes second timeline Yuder who had like. meals with the Emperor and knows Kishiar, to a degree at least.

And Kishiar very much picks up on this. He's got a prodigy on his hands who's not afraid to say what he means - not because of arrogance, but because he's straightfroward and correct. He's fascinated with Yuder to the point of propositioning him to figure out what he's on. (rip to Nathan hope you never learn of this).

Like, man if I have to put it into words, I think 2nd TL Kishiar falls in love because he's fascinated and interested by Yuder and wants to know him wholeheartedly, while for Yuder it hmm feels a lot more like hmm devotion/dedication to an ideal? Which makes Kishiar's genuine joy when he learns a small thing about Yuder a delight to read and vice versa when Yuder realizses why Kishiar acts in a certain way.

Like in 199 we got Kishiar saying , "I was merely asking out of curiosity. Isn't it a natural human tendency to want to know more about a subject of interest?"

(Also love how in 200 Yuder is like "Kishiar is so smart and skilled it's only a question of time until he manages to seduce me" babygirl what the FUCK is that thought process. can't you just say he's hot and charming and you both have a competency kink)

uuh. i think i lost the plot a little replying to your ask but like. yes. i love how the different circumstances shape their experience and attraction to each other,

[pippin-katz]

The 5 specific details of Red, White & Royal Blue spicy scenes that make me, a demisexual, feel: 🦋🫣🦋

(not ranked in any order)

I need to write an essay about this because I want to see if I'm not the only ace-spectrum person out there that has this weird- I don't want to say "exception", but that's the only word that comes to mind- when it comes to characters. But that's a topic for another post lmfao

No. 1 - Henry shoving Alex onto the couch:

Could you tell by how I keep bringing it up and using gifs of it in my essays?

Henry being confident suits him, even if we don't get too see it much. I love how Alex's smile drops because of how surprised and shocked he is by the action.

My stomach does a flip whenever I watch this clip lmfao

No. 2 - Alex tilting his head back with these expressions when Henry starts kissing his neck:

Look, I am not immune to an attractive human, being attractive; it's men like Taylor (and Nick) that keep me from being a lesbian lmfao

No. 3 - this:

I don't think I need to say anything; this feels like it should be illegal. The fact that you know when Henry actually starts *clears throat* doing what he's doing, because you can see Alex's eyes roll underneath his eyelids. Like... what the fuck Taylor? Was that really necessary??

No. 4 - Alex pushing against Henry so hard that he ends up lifting him onto the table:

Then he continues to hold his leg and pull him back towards him. It's Alex's only real moment of leading an interaction. He's controlling where they go here; Henry is going/staying where he wants him.

No. 5 - Alex's movements & Henry's facial expressions:

This whole scene was shot/filmed/edited so well. It shows everything without even showing anything. It's also very clearly "making love" rather than "having sex". It's soft and slow, and it's so clear that they truly cherish each other in every way.

All you see is Alex's body rolling, and that's all you need to see. Then you add in Henry's expressions that show how good he feels, but in a genuine-feeling manner.

They didn't need to show anymore than this for the viewer to understand what they're doing. There's no cut to Alex's hips to "show the action" or whatever. Henry's faces aren't unrealistic or pornographic. Neither of them are portraying over-the-top pleasure that feels like it was filmed just for the audience to get their kicks.

It feels genuine, and emotionally intimate as well as physically. It makes my little demisexual heart ache, and butterflies fly around in my stomach lol

Okay that's all! There won't be a part 2 cause there's nothing to put on it, and that's kinda the point of this post lol

Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Hello!! I love your work n au sm I’ve been ADDICTED!! 💖💖

Could I possibly request a Kunikida x GN! Reader where the reader is deeply insecure about relationships and unknowingly fits his ideals ? Ie: hard worker, good w/ kids, stuff like that? Like reader is lamenting about how all their friends are in relationships but nobody seems to look at them in that way and Kunikida is like erm actually ☝️☝️

Thanku sm either way I love reading everything you write 😸😸

Ideal partner

Self-Aware! Kunikida Doppo x GN! Reader

Description: People said, that Kunikida's ideal partner don't Kunikida disagrees.

Warning: OOC. English is my second language. Reader are insecure.

_______

"It's... Something, Kunikida-san." Atsushi turned the page of Kunikida's notebook. Dazai, who has been looking at the notebook's pages above Atsushi's shoulder, huffed.

"You are quite a hard-worker, Kunikida-kun. Spending the whole night filling that thing."

John Steinbeck, who was carrying crates with supplies, that were collected by The Guild, walked past them. He gave them a side glance.

"Discussing something interesting, detectives?"

"Ideals" Dazai waved his hand. Steinbeck gave them a weird look and start walking again, mumbling 'our new roommates' under his breath.

Lifestyle in Yokohama was changing. However, something didn't change at all. And, something, was brought back to existence.

Like a familiar book of a certain blonde detective.

Kunikida Doppo didn't want to admit it, but, after making peace with being self-aware (and getting attached to you) he feels that something still was missing. Something small, but important.

His book of ideals was missing. Well, technically, the notebook itself still was with him. But it was empty. No ideals were written down.

Kunikida couldn't bare it anymore. So, he spent the whole"night" (or what was supposed to be night in the Real World, according to your phone's watch) writing down his new set of ideals.

It put him in a good mood. And, even after he got scolded by Fukuzawa ("Kunikida, I understand, that you want to work as hard as you can, and get to Guiding Light as fast as possible, but, please, mind the time. Otherwise, it will be a hassle, when we got to the Real World and had to get used to normal day/night cycle."), Kunikida's good mood didn't change.

"Your ideal partner criteria are still here and still something, Kunikida-kun. Are you sure, that you can find such person even in the Real World?" Dazai grinned teasingly. Kunikida rolled his eyes.

"Say whatever you want, Dazai, but my ideal partner do exist. And I will find them."

Dazai shrugged. His grin became even wider.

"We will see."

__________

"Well, I expect something like that, but not to that extent." Dazai mumbled, looking at Kunikida's "Ideal partner" list. Near each sentence was now a little plus symbol drawn.

Kunikida glared at Dazai.

"And what that supposed to mean?!"

Dazai quickly raised both of his hands.

"Nothing bad! Nothing bad! Just... I agree, that Iris Flower is great."

Great? You weren't just great! You were perfect. Kunikida could write a whole essay about how perfect you are.

You were a hardworking person. You do your job to the fullest. You always make sure, that everything is done perfectly.

You were great with children. You know, how to calm them down, what books and games offer them to pass the time. You even could make them do their homework without fussing.

You were kind, generous, smart. You have both inner and outer beauty.

You were perfect!

"... I am not surprised, that you want to have romantic relationship with them. But, I never expected that you would find all of your ideals in them. I did expect you to dismiss or change your ideals, so [Y/N] would fit them."

Dazai chuckled. A rare genuine smile appeared on his face.

"You managed to surprise me. I hope, that you will make [Y/N] happy. Just remember..."

Dazai's expression darkened. "If you break their heart..."

Kunikida glared at Dazai.

"How dare you think, that I will do something like that?! I will cherish them. We will have a loving courtship, before getting married."

Dazai visibly flinched.

"Kunikida-kun... For the love of everyone... Never let others, especially [Y/N], hear the words "loving courtship" ever again."

_______

That evening was one of the calm ones. Everyone were, mostly, minding their own business. Nikolai didn't annoy Fyodor. Dazai didn't annoy Chuuya and Kunikida. You were laying on a couch, mindlessly scrolling through the social media. Suddenly, your gaze catches a post from one of your co-worker, that you were friends with.

"Today is our anniversary! Look, what my sweetheart did for me 💝"

The post contains a photo of a table with home cooked breakfast on it. All dishes were decorated with paper hearts, a small vase with bouquet of flowers was standing in the middle of the table. A card with some lovey-dovey words was visible in the corner of the table.

You scrolled further.

As another nail in your good mood's coffin, the next post was from another one of your friend. That post was about getting into a new relationship.

You fight an urge to sign. Another one. Another one of your friends got in a relationship.

You weren't jealous. But you felt a little bit of hurt. Every time you heard about your friends' dates or partners, you felt, like you were the stereotypical forever single friend.

You went on dates before. But, there was never a second date. Your friends were getting into relationship. They looked happy. They weren't alone.

Meanwhile, you were alone. And, no matter how hard you try, you never managed to find a partner.

Perhaps, you weren't attractive enough to be viewed as someone's romantic partner.

"I am pretty sure, that your ex-partners have done more for your anniversary." Aya's voice sounded right above your ear. You jumped, turning your head towards her. The girl has climbed almost on the top of your armchair, looking at your phone screen above you. Bram's hand carefully grabbed her by the collar, gently picking her up.

"Manners, Princess." softly scolded he. Aya huffed.

"Sorry, Bra-chan, I just got so excited! So, [Y/N]..." Girl looked back at you. "I was right, right? Your ex-partners have done something better for your anniversary, yes?"

You were still blinking, trying to proceed the situation.

(No one noticed a strange mix of determination and jealousy on Kunikida's face)

You should be careful. Because kids were the worst, when they learned about your love life.

You bit your lip.

"Well, no, there were no celebrations for the anniversary..."

And hell got loose. The quiet room became loud. Everyone wants to say something, to complain about your terrible "ex-partners". Aya, still in Bram's hold, shook her first in the air.

"What?! What an awful people! How dare they?! Let me at them, I will teach them some respect!"

"Give me names!" you don't need to look at Teruko, to see her bloodthirsty expression.

Okay, you need to let the cat out of the bag.

You stand up and almost yelled.

"There were no anniversaries! Because I was never in a relationship! I never had a partner"

The room became quiet. Now everyone was staring at you.

Aya tilted her head.

"What? Why? Why you were never in a relationship before?"

You tried not to look in Aya's eyes.

"Why? I don't understand..."

You gulped. You really didn't want to talk about it. Time to change the subject.

"Oh, look at the time! I need to be somewhere else... In my room."

Good job, [Y/N], really smooth.

Bram start whispering something in Aya's ear. Count Stoker looked at you apologetically.

"Wait! I still don't understand! How came someone as amazing as you never had a partner?!" Aya ignored Bram's attempts to hush her, deciding to ask That Question. The girl looked not only curious, but also sad. She really thought, that your non-existent love live was something unfair.

You nervously looked around. You really didn't want to discuss it, especially with kids.

Because, of your nervousness, you didn't see, that Kunikida's face expression was quite similar to Aya's. Less curious, but, still an equally "That's unfair!" expression.

"I guess, there is nothing in me to be loved for..."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" you were pretty sure, that you have heard, how windows rattled because of Kunikida's scream.

Before anyone can do something, Kunikida grabbed you by the hand and started to drag you away.

_______

He stopped before your room. Kunikida was still holding your hand. His breathing was heavy.

You broke the silence.

"Kunikida... What..."

His voice was quiet but firm.

"Never... Never say, that there is nothing in you to be loved for."

You looked away.

"Kunikida, there's no need to try to cheer me up. I already made peace with that fact..."

Kunikida softly squeeze your hand.

"I mean it... You are really important to me... You fit all of my ideals."

You closed your mouth. Kunikida took his notebook and showed you the list of his ideal partner criteria. Each of them had pluses drawn near. You didn't know what to say. Kunikida's voice was soft.

"When I became self-aware, my notebook was completely empty. There was nothing. Not even one of my ideals were written down. The big part of my life was gone. And then I find a strength to live on. I find you."

You won't cry. You won't cry.

Kunikida's gaze soften.

"I wrote my ideals down again. It was my own decision. And I managed to do it, because you gave me strength."

Kunikida carefully cupped your face.

"My ideals for a partner... I thought, of what I want to see in them. Not about someone particular. You fit all of them by being your own person. [Y/N], My Ideal, you are perfect. You make me feel so happy... What I want to say..."

Kunikida blushed. You felt, like your face was on fire.

"Do you want to go on a date with me?"

You shyly nodded. Suddenly, Kunikida leaned forward and kissed you on a cheek. Still red, he mumbles.

"Great! I... I will... We will go at the end of the week, if it's fine with you."

You nodded again.

"Yes. I will wait for our date."

Kunikida's smile could brighten up the darkest abyss. Unknowingly, to you, your own smile was as bright as his.

[stormyrainyday]

apologies this is far from a coherent shower thought but i think it's time we like. decided to detach our identity a bit from the things we do. it's fine to just read. you don't have to be a reader. it's fine to just game. you don't have to be a gamer. you can be those things but i feel like in a quest to find ourselves and open our hearts, especially to others online (because i know, the first thing we do when on a new platform is say hi im [name] i like these things we should talk, i know, i do, my pinned post is literally that), i feel like we forget that we are more than the things we do and even the things we love. we, to borrow words from slay the princess, contain it in our multitudes.

it's a sentiment i've felt for a long time as someone who has been on the internet and in fandom spaces for a good decade now, and like. i find when we hold these things so close that they become us, we become too defensive over them. how many minor fandom disagreements spiral into threats, name calling, doxxing even? i find, especially younger users in fan spaces, tend to take even small differences of opinion and take them personally. saw someone blow up and call people awful names over believing only one person could top in a genshin ship. another left a server i was in because they disliked a popular character, and other (respectfully), decided to share why they did like her. i get that things like rejection sensitivity are a thing, but i think this failure to recognize the self as an entity apart from the things you do and the thoughts you have definitely contribute to this. phenomenon i suppose.

it's genuinely slay the princess that has given me the vocabulary to express and understand this thing i was already thinking. i think, though we are not gods, it's important to understand that we are not things so easily defined. we consist of our thoughts, our actions, our perceptions, our beliefs, and more. even the outside world's perception of us reflects some part of our nature. but not all of it. it's impossible to define oneself in one, two, three words or even an essay.

because like we don't exist in a vacuum. part of our existence is defined in our interactions with others. but not all. never all. there is no one who can truly know you, and we cannot truly know ourselves. our principles bend to the whims of circumstance no matter what we tell ourselves otherwise, so we can't decide what we are or what we would be in a situation for sure, ever. and that's not a bad thing, but if we can't ever truly know ourselves, then how can we assign such great importance to something as superficial as the things we enjoy sometimes?

we are both a constant and the capacity to change. and to take just a handful of things and call it your identity, even subconsciously, is a disservice to the self. in an effort to be seen we break ourselves down into easy (i hate to say it but) marketable pieces.

take being a reader for example. it has always felt like vague slang for booksmart, thoughtful, likely quiet and introverted as well, just as much as it means "i like to read books". theres an aesthetic to it involved, and a whole subculture. do you write in your books? do you keep them museum-fresh quality? do you read smut or classics or high fantasy or satire and what does it say about you? if you say audiobooks aren't real literature, are you signalling to others about quality and sophistication, or are you a pretentious asshole, and ableist to boot? these connotations assigned to such an otherwise benign thing about someone are i think are reflective of the construct of identity and perception. i could go on about it in a way that's more coherent but i, a student, have other things to do right now.

(does being a student make me intelligent? does it impress you to know i study medicine? what if i told you i average Cs in my classes? what if i told you i dislike patient care? what if i told you i'm not here for the money OR to make the world a better place, and that i'm here purely to serve my curiosities about the way the body functions and to absolve my obsessive need to understand just what are we? does this change what you think of me? does it matter? what if you knew the guilt i felt for seeing so much suffering, but still hating patient care enough to worry endlessly about being stuck in it as a career? am i better for it? but i have not acted on this guilt. it is a mere feeling that only i know. knew. is it different now that i've confessed it? does it matter? does any of it change who i am, fundamentally? or am i a thing detached from it all? or. as i like to believe. is it both? your shifting perceptions of me and the way i change shape and form (so much like our beloved princess in slay the princess) in your eyes, they make up me just as much as the soul or the self or whatever other philosophical name you assign to it. at the end of the day, isn't the most important thing that i am just me? both devoid of and constituted of the sum of my parts? what is found in the spaces between my cells? impulses and chemicals. is that me? is it all me? can i ever really know it? and why, why, why define it at all?)

[wordsofelie]

Chapter 7

🌅Don’t you dare runaway (A Phoenix and Ashes Sequel)

Miya Osamu x f!reader

Summary: Miya Osamu thinks some things will never change— Atsumu will always be annoying; his Ma’s food will always be the best and you will always be his favourite sunrise.

Content Warnings: Timeskip Setting, Manga Spoilers, ex!Suna, Swearing, Alcohol Consumption, Mention of Sex Scenes (No Description)

Words count: 5.4k

chapter 1 - chapter 2 - chapter 3 - chapter 4 - chapter 5 - chapter 6 - chapter 8

“How’s Tokyo?”

It’s only a few words, barely a full sentence. However, it took Osamu a whole fifteen minutes to write and almost a face-first collision with the glass door of Tokozu, his favourite kitchen knife store in Osaka. The man found the exercise harder than any literature essay he ever had to do in high school (and Osamu, despite being named after a famous novelist, was never fond of literature). But now, the message is sent and there’s no going back.

His meditation instructor as well as one red-haired hitter, told him he should stop overthinking, and for the last month, Osamu thinks he did a good job at calming his stormy mind. But it’s different now, you’ve been in Tokyo for three days (or what feels like six months, at least to him), and apart from the message to ask you if you arrived safely (which you did), Osamu hasn’t contacted you in 72h. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, but he just needs to give space. He told you how he feels, exposed his fragile heart to you, and now what you do with it is your decision and yours only.

Still, Osamu wants to act casual like before (and also shows that he cares), something he hasn’t been good at for the past months. You miss the old Osamu, the friend you could always rely on, the one who wouldn’t mind letting food burn on the stove if you needed him. Maybe it’s time for that man to come back.

Thus, this morning, as he strolls through the streets of Osaka, heading to the store, he sends you those few words.

“Good morning, Sir,” a forty-year-old something greets him when he enters. “May I help you with something?”

Osamu’s eyes wander all around the shelves before describing what he is looking for.

“There’s a couple of knives that could meet your requirements.” The man starts showing him various options when Osamu’s phone buzzes in his pocket.

It’s you.

The younger man excuses himself and runs towards the exit. He waits two or three rings before answering.

“Hey,” he says, clearing his throat.

“Osamu,” you tell his name, his heart skips a beat (or a thousand). “How are you? Is this a good time to call?”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. I was just in town to buy a new knife for the fish.”

“Oh, maybe I should call later then-”

“No!” He cuts you off, someone passing by is startled by his sudden outburst. He avoids their gaze, “It’s fine now. So… how have ya been?”

“I’m great,” you reply, and he can hear the excitement in your voice, “I love it here. The JVA offices are in that huge building in Omiya, and everyone is wearing suits and there’s even a bakery on the ground floor, so I usually take something there and go to the park. I can’t wait for the cherry blossoms to bloom, it’s gonna be beautiful. And I need to take you to the bakery, you’d love the cannelés.”

Osamu holds back his laughter at your French accent, cute, he thinks.

“There’s already a communication team,” you continue, “everyone is so kind and to be able to discuss my ideas with everyone is such a cool thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love working with the Jackals but…well, the guys aren’t the best at giving advice when it comes to their social media. Except for your brother, actually.”

“I’m glad,” Osamu says with a soft voice.

“And Kuroo is amazing to work with and he’s actually kinda funny sometimes, but he has that weird laugh-anyway, I think he likes my work… But that doesn’t mean he's going to keep me on after my trial period.”

Osamu is relieved, happy even, that you’re enjoying your life there, but when he is about to express it, the words get stuck in his throat and no sound leaves his lips.

There’s a silence following your story, and you’re the one who breaks it. “I’m coming back in two days.”

“And I’ll be there.”

“Also… in three weeks or something, the National Team is having their last public practice match before the Olympics and it’s in Osaka, are you going to install a stall at the gym?”

“Yeah, I will. Ya know how the guys will react if I don’t.”

You chuckle, probably picturing some very disappointed—and hungry— Atsumu, Bokuto and Hinata (and Meian, though he’d tried to keep a straight face since he has the role of captain to uphold). “Cool, then, I’ll be there.”

“That’s my line.”

You offer him a genuine laugh and a warm feeling spreads through his stomach, which stays even after the call ends.

Two more days. Osamu counts in his head.

He takes a deep breath and enters the shop for the second time, this time being careful with not banging his face into the glass door.

“Can’t ya just stop movin’, please?” Atsumu begs and a sound comes out of his throat, something between a sigh and a groan. 

But his demand doesn’t seem to reach his brother’s ears—even though he said “please”, ‘Samu, ya spoiled brat—as said brother continues to pace like a caged animal in their cramped living room.

“I’m goin’ now.” Osamu finally announces.

“Gosh,” The setter rolls his eyes, “her train arrives in two hours.”

“What if there’s traffic on the way?”

“Ya know what? Just leave, yer so damn annoyin’ right now.”

“Moron,” Osamu exclaims, slamming the door on its way out.

It’s too late for Atsumu to say more than just an offended, “Oi!” since his twin already left the apartment.

There’s no traffic on the way and Osamu is forced to wait for you—though it doesn’t matter how long he must wait; if he had to endure a lifetime of longing just to see you again, he would agree in a blink of an eye.

The only bad thing is that time passes very slowly, and it makes him think over and over again about what might happen.

And the conclusion he comes up with is that two paths are unfolding before him: whether the kiss you shared on the doorframe of your apartment is the last remnant of what could have been, or perhaps the first tender step toward something beautiful. Maybe in a few minutes, he’ll have to pretend nothing happened and go back to being friends or stop hiding his feelings and share them with the world.

When you emerge from the station, your blue scarf sticking out of your bag since the weather has warmed up delicately in the last five days, Osamu feels the rhythm of his heart quickening.

You greet each other, get back in the car, and he starts driving.

One second after the other, even though you’re there now, he keeps waiting.

The silence is heavy but somehow it doesn’t cloud his thoughts. Osamu could be analysing each single one of your moves (you scratch your nails, you keep looking at your phone even if you don’t receive any notification), your expressions (you didn’t meet his eyes when you arrived, your smile is tense), but he doesn’t because he has learned better than to attempt to assume how you feel; it only leads to chaos. The man has no control over this situation and whatever happens, he’ll accept it. Nothing matters more than yielding to your choices. Break his heart, move to Tokyo, sever ties forever (please don’t)—he’ll endure it all if it means your happiness.

“Thank you for coming.” You finally say gently.  

 “Sure.” He waits and after a moment of hesitation, adds, “Ya know… I’ve been waitin’ to see ya.”

There’s a pause, the kind that stretches just long enough to create a knot in his chest.

“You have?” You ask, your voice quiet, unsure.

“Yeah,” he admits, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. If you’re about to turn him down, at least, he needs to be honest one more time. “Been thinkin' about ya all day. All week, actually.”

He laughs, a bit too awkwardly, trying to play it off. “Can I say that? Don’t wanna make ya uncomfortable but I guess I’m just really bad at actin' casual, huh?”

Your soft chuckle makes his heart race all over again. “Not as bad as you think, Osamu. I’m happy if we can talk openly to each other without being afraid of what the other thinks. That’s what we used to do.” You clear your throat, “And actually, there’s something I need to tell you.”

There it is, he thinks, the opening he’s been waiting for. He decides to pull over to the side of the road since you almost made it to your place. He licks his lips nervously before turning to you, your eyes don’t meet his when you speak again.

“So… I’ve been thinking. I wanted to have that conversation with you later, not in the car like that, but like you said, it’s hard to act casual…Listen, Osamu.” You finally turn to your right, to him.

Osamu thought he could know how you’re feeling just by seeing the look on your face but right now he is unsure. It’s exciting to know there’s still so much to learn about you, but also threatening because he can’t anticipate your next words and it’s suffocating.

“You’re the kindest person I know, you’re funny and you’re reliable and there’s no one in this entire world, and please don’t tell Umi, with whom I feel so at ease. I’ve never really been into stuff like soulmates you know, even with Rin, I believed he was the love of my life, and it turned out I was wrong. But with you it’s different, it’s like the universe has led me to you. That fact will never change, whatever we … become.” Your voice falters, “But… I made so many sacrifices for Rin, and I don’t regret them, they made me who I am now, but I promised myself I would never do such things again… Yet, I was in my hotel room in Tokyo, finally finding my dream job and loving the team, but I couldn’t stop thinking about you. About how I wanted to be with you in Osaka, how I wanted to kiss you again… I feel so weak Osamu ‘cause I love you too. I do want us to be together but not like that. I can’t miss this opportunity. If I stay in Osaka, I will resent myself for not choosing my dream and if I leave for Tokyo, I know I’ll regret not being with you… But I have to make a choice.”

“Can’t ya have both? Me and Tokyo?”

You sigh before looking down at your lap. Osamu thinks he saw your eyes getting wet, “I wish I could, but you know how I feel about distance relationships.”

Of course, he knows; he was there when you suffered through the distance that separated you from your first love years ago and how it led to a heartbreak.

“What if I come with y-”

“Don’t even think about it, Osamu. I am not following my dream for you to give up yours.” Your voice is firm, but there’s a hint of pain behind your words. “I swear I thought about all the options because I know you’re right for me… but there’s nothing we can do about it.”

Osamu was convinced there were only two paths, one where you love him, one where you don’t. But what if there is a third option? What if you love him but fear getting hurt?

It’s not that she doesn’t like you, she’s just afraid, Umi told him. He recalls precisely the moment your best friend pronounced those words to him.

There’s hope. Osamu has to hold on to it.  

“Give me one month.”

“Huh?” Your brow furrows in confusion.

“I’ll find a solution, I’ll make it work, I promise.”

“Osamu,” you sigh again, this time it sounds desperate, perhaps frustrated, “this is not some sort of romantic movie, this is real life.”

“I know that, and I’ll find a real solution.”

“What if you don’t find the solution after that month? I know how heartbreaks feel like Osamu, this is only going to hurt you and-”

“Nothing can hurt me more than runnin’ away when I could have tried making it work.”

There’s something in your eyes that shines behind your closed face and clenched jaw.

The atmosphere changes in the car, maybe because of the night falling, or maybe because of something else.

“When we were first years, we weren’t in the same class, but at the sports festival, we were put on the same team for the relay.” You start recalling, the sudden shift in topic catches him off guard, but he lets you continue anyway.

“Umi wasn’t in my team, and I was already not motivated to run the race, especially in front of everyone but it got worse when I was put before you. Can you imagine me, giving the stick to Miya Osamu? You were popular, girls loved you, boys admired you, and I was no one. Sure, I could run fast but I didn’t care about winning that damn event. I guess… the only things I cared about were having Rin looking at me and not tripping in front of your fangirls. But on the day of the festivals, do you remember what you told me?”

He shakes his head. You were always better at remembering stuff.

“You said ‘Trust me, just do your thing and I’ll make it work’. I trusted you; I did what I had to do, and we won.”

You cover your face with your hands abruptly and grumble, “Fuck, I really thought I made up my mind but…” Then, you take a long inspiration before looking at him again. Your eyes pierce his soul, find him where he is the most vulnerable, but also the most in love, “If I trust you one more time… Can you promise you’ll not let me down?”

“I’d do anything for ya to give me a chance.”

He says your name as he promises. There’s something obvious in your eyes when you look at each other, it’s not just hope that Osamu feels, it’s certain and deep. As if nothing could come between you.

You break the distance.

The kiss is softer than the last one. Osamu tries to take his time to appreciate the taste of your lips and the feeling your tongue leaves on his.

No need to rush, he knows it’s the first kiss of a long series (whether it lasts a month or a hundred years).

You pull back with a smile, “Oh, by the way, I have not forgotten that you owe me an explanation for all the times you ignore me. And you better hear what I have to say to you on that matter because you sure hurt me. It might take hours for me to tell you how bad you made me feel.”

“And I’d listen for hours.”

“You’re such a smooth talker.” You chuckle and open the passenger door, “Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow ‘Samu.”

“Huh?” He raises an eyebrow, “That’s what my brother calls me, can’t ya find something else like my lov-”

“Shut up you idiot, I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Whatever you want, I’ll submit.” He teases and his grin is both sincere and charming, it makes you lift your eyes in the air.

You laugh one more time before getting out, “sweet dreams.”

He bids you goodnight in return.

Things go well.

You try to see each other often. Now that Osamu has his Sundays free, he makes the most of them to take you on dates. In the evening, you cook dinner at home and in the morning, you stop by Onigiri Miya to get the bento he prepared for you. You always thank him with a kiss on the lips, a caress on the cheeks and sometimes the make out session gets a little bit out of hand. One day, despite your complaints about how you might get caught, Osamu doesn’t stop until Sato and Nagisa enter the shop (“Oops, didn’t mean to interrupt”, one of them say and Osamu tells you later how they kept on teasing him all day long. “It’s only yer fault though”, he exclaims, “yer too pretty.” And you push him on the chest, your cheeks turning red and your smile wide.)

You receive an email from Kuroo one Tuesday night, with a contract attached to it, waiting to be filled with your signature.

It’s hard to hide your smile, “I got the job.”

Osamu jumps from his chair to yours and kisses you, “I expected no less from my Champion.”

You open your mouth to say something and your boyfriend notices how your bite your lips. The long-distance relationship is starting now, that’s probably what you’re about to say, but Osamu doesn’t want to lose this moment thinking about what’s coming after, so he goes through your kitchen’s cupboards and gets a bottle of sake.

“What are you doing?” You ask.

“We have somethin’ to celebrate, don’t we?” His boyish smile makes your heart melt, and you nod.

“Let’s go to Tokyo tomorrow to look for an apartment.” He proposes later.

Your brows knit together, “but your restaurant…”

“I can close it.”

Osamu looks at you with the determined eyes you thought he had lost. It’s confident and calm at the same time, it’s kind, and so particularly him. It’s the same look he had when you won the relay a decade ago, when he told you he got your back during your heartbreak, and when he swore he’d do anything to be with you.

This time, you're the one who kisses him, and you taste of sake. His hands find the skin of your lower back and the man wonders how he could have missed out on something so soft all these years. Maybe it’s the alcohol but his mind becomes intoxicated, still, it feels good, and the next second he lifts you to lead you to the bedroom.

The next morning, your head hurts—and so do your muscles—but Osamu makes sure to cover every inch of your body with kisses as an apology (to which you don’t complain).

Finding an apartment in Tokyo is a drag at first. Between the too high-priced single-rooms and the over-demanding landlords, your energy is drained at the end of the day.

“I’ll never be able to find something…” You whine.

“Hey,” Osamu flicks your forehead lightly, “don’t say that it’s only the first day. Let’s find an hotel for tonight and we'll continue tomorrow.”

“What about Onigiri Miya?”

“Sato and Nagisa can manage.”

“Thank you, Osamu, you’re the best. Oh, what’s Sato’s first name by the way?”

“I forgot,” Osamu gets up from the bench where you were both sat and starts walking. You don’t ask for more.

Eventually, Osamu gets back to Osaka the next day because “Osamu-san, we’re running out of spicy sauce, what’s the recipe again? I tried something but it tastes like-”, “Like shit.”, “Oi! Rin don’t say that.” And even though he loves helping you, he must admit he misses being in the kitchen.

Your apartment hunt ends up with a last-minute offer for a one-bedroom place near your office and with a view on the park.

“Yer kitchen is better than mine,” Osamu clicks his tongue.

“That gives you a good reason to come visit me.”

“I’m thinkin’ about more than just one reason to visit ya.”

“You pervert,” you tease, and he tries to defend himself, but it’s probably a lost cause, for deep down, Osamu knows you’re right.

So yes, three weeks pass, and things go pretty well between you two.

It's been a week since he last saw you, though you FaceTime every evening—both to tell him about your day and to show him the first pieces of decoration you've put up; a few flowerpots, two cups on the counter (one for him, one for you), and a framed picture of you and Umi.

And today is the National Team last public practice match, so it means Osamu gets to finally see you in person (yesss, he mumbles when rolls out of bed at dawn.)

The match starts at 1 p.m., the crowd is expected at noon, and Osamu spends the late morning setting up his onigiri stall in the gym’s hall. His hands move automatically as he arranges the ingredients and checks his prep. He tries to focus on his routine because his mind is far from calm.  Sure, he is happy to see you but he knows you’re also waiting for the “real solution” to overcome the distance. But Osamu hasn’t found it yet, not even when you packed your bags and moved in Tokyo officially.Time is running out.

Nagisa probably noticed the somehow stressed mood of his boss and finds himself even more careful than he usual is.

“Can I have one… Ginger chicken onigiri please?”

Nagisa greets you respectfully and Osamu immediately turns to where you stand with widen eyes as if he wasn’t expecting you.

“Hi,” you say.

“Hey.” He replies back and the man has to fight the stupid grin tugging at his lips. “Just give me a second.”

Osamu hands you your order, “Enjoy.”

“Those are new, huh?”

“Yeah, for the Spring Menu.” He explains, trying to keep his cool, but his smile sneaks through.

“I can’t wait to try then,” You smile back, your eyes meeting his. He could stand there all day, just soaking in this moment. But he’s working and you have a volleyball match to attend.

“Well, I’m gonna join Kita-san now. And also-” you glance behind you at the growing line. “Don’t wanna hold up the queue.”

Before he can even think of a reply, you wave and step away. He watches as you walk toward where Kita is waiting and both disappear in the stands. His heart warms at the sight.

The hours pass as the match begins, Osamu and Nagisa catch glimpses of the game through the screens scattered around the hall. Atsumu starts the first set, naturally, and Osamu can't help but grumble to himself when his brother is swapped out for Kageyama in the second. By the time his twin closes the final set with a signature service ace, Osamu rolls his eyes, already dreading the inevitable rambling about it later tonight.

“Atsumu-san is amazing,” Nagisa says and his eyes shine at the screen.

“Well, keep that for yerself please.” Osamu straightens up and starts packing up his stall.

The crowd begins to disperse, he can hear it from a distance. He’s just about ready to close up when a familiar face appears, slightly out of breath.

“Are you still open?” one Akaashi Keiji says with a sheepish smile.

Osamu simply remarks that he’s always open for his best client, and it makes Akaashi even more embarrassed. “That’s very considerate of you Miya-san. Sorry I didn’t come by earlier. I arrived late.”

“No problem,” Osamu replies, handing him his usual set of onigiri. “Yer favorite as always.”

Akaashi accepts the food, then hesitates before speaking. “There’s a new onigiri shop near my workplace, you know. I gave it a try, but... well, they don’t come close to yours.”

Osamu chuckles. “Well, thanks, I guess.”

“But don’t worry, Miya-san,” Akaashi continues, putting his glasses back on, “I’m not going to try to convince you to open a shop in Tokyo this time. I learned my lesson. Besides, you’re probably already too busy with your current restaurant.”

Osamu opens his mouth to speak but no sound comes out of it. Instead, his mind goes blank, and a cloud makes his brain unable to think. But not in an oppressive way, no, this time the cloud is light and pleasant.

Something seems to click inside him, as if a thought that has been buried suddenly rises to the surface. He’s always brushed off the idea of expanding, but now... maybe it’s time to stop putting things aside. His decision comes in a flash, and before he can second-guess it, he’s calling out to his part-time employee.

“Hey, Nagisa! Can ya finish up closin’ the stall? I gotta go.”

Without waiting for an answer, Osamu takes off, scanning the crowd for you. He spots you near the exit, chatting with a few familiar faces. His heart beats faster as he approaches.

He says your name, “Can we talk?”

You raise an eyebrow, but you nod, leading him to a quieter spot—the room where you used to work as the Jackals’ communication manager.

“So,” you begin, crossing your arms as you turn to face him. “What’s going on?”

Osamu takes a deep breath. “I’ve been thinkin’... ‘bout how I can make this work.”

“Make what work?”

“Us.” The word feels huge, but it’s the only thing that matters right now. “I’ve decided... I’m gonna open a shop in Tokyo.”

Your eyes widen, clearly taken aback. “Wait, what?”

“I’ll expand,” Osamu says, his voice is firm. “I’ll open a shop in Tokyo, so we don’t have to do this long-distance thing. I want to be with ya. There are a lot of things I need to think about like findin’ the right place and hirin’ new people, it might take a little bit of time but I have the cash, and I know it’s gonna be alright. Can ya trust me on this?”

The last question is said with more softness, maybe with a bit of fear. But there’s still this determination in his eyes that you love so much.

You seem to process his words for a moment, and he holds his breath, waiting for your reaction. Then, slowly, a smile spreads across your face. Without warning, you throw your arms around him, and he catches you, pulling you into a tight embrace.

“Of course, I trust you,” you whisper against his shoulder and Osamu feels a shiver running down his spine.

“Honestly…” he speaks again, “I’m already pretty busy with the restaurant but maybe it’s time for the business to grow.”

“And I’ll be here for you. We’ll go through this together.”

Just as you’re about to kiss—something Osamu has been craving since you entered the venue—the door swings open.

Bokuto’s loud voice fills the room with your name, and both of you jump apart, startled.

“What-what’s going on here?” The outside hitter blurts out. His expression is one of shock, like a child who just caught their parents placing presents under the tree instead of Santa Claus.

“Are-are you…?” He points his finger at you, one after the other.

“We’re datin’.” Osamu replies first.

“But we want to keep it quiet for now,” you add, not noticing how Osamu’s brows furrow. Had ya mentioned this before? he wonders but keeps the question to himself. After all, it’s fine—it’s not like he was planning on going all loud and proud about your relationship like his brother would. Still, the thought lingers.

Bokuto grins, clapping his hands together. You’re both surprised by the change in his attitude (even though you should be used to Bokuto’s moody antics by now). “About time! Anyway, the team’s going out for drinks. You guys coming?”

You both nod. Once Bokuto disappears, you sneak a small kiss on the corner of his lips before opening the door again. He holds back a frustrated grunt—he wanted more, but who can blame him? After all, he’s a Miya; aiming for more is in his genes.

You find yourself sitting between your boyfriend and Bokuto in a busy izakaya. The room is loud, and it smells like fried meat and beers. For once, you're not the only girl at the table since some of the players' partners are here too. Osamu’s eyes keep drifting back to you, even while Komori is recounting some ridiculous story about how he saved Kiyoomi’s life when they were kids—which the younger cousin firmly denies. He listens, nodding politely, but his gaze betrays him as it keeps landing on you. You’re engaged in a conversation with Meian's fiancée, something about her upcoming wedding as Osamu picks up some words related to that topic.

“Oi, listen up!” Atsumu calls once all the drinks are served. He raises his glass. The chatter dies down, and all eyes turn to him. “First of all, congrats to the team on today's win. We smashed it, boys. Let’s keep it goin’, and we’ll do even better at the Olympics!” A round of cheers follows, glasses clinking together.

“And second, let’s give a round of applause to Shoyo-kun, who’s just signed a contract with Asas São Paulo! - Is that how ya say it? Anyway, I’m gonna miss settin’ to ya man, but ya truly deserve it.” Hinata grins, showing all his teeth, and rubs the back of his head as he thanks everyone.

“And finally,” Atsumu pauses dramatically and smirks, “I gotta congratulate Tobio-kun for his solid performance in the second set... even though I’m the one who finished the game off with that perfect serve.”

Kageyama, ever stoic, only bows his head slightly and mutters some “Thank you.”

Aran turns to Osamu, “Will yer brother ever be humble?”, his tone is both desperate and exasperated.

The older twin hears the remark and starts justifying his words, but it only creates a ripple of laughter all around the table.

Bokuto suddenly stands up, taking Atsumu’s role, with an unexpected serious face. “I’ve got something to say too,” he begins and raises his glass in your direction, before saying your name. “I wanna thank you for all the work you’ve done managing our social media for almost a year. You really helped us connect with our fans, and I just-”

Akaashi, sitting to Osamu’s right, leans over and whispers to your boyfriend, “But Kuroo-san told me she’s still managing the Jackals' social media, even if it’s not her main focus anymore.”

“I will.” You announce, high enough for Koutarou to hear. “I’m not completely leaving the Jackals.”

Sakusa sighs heavily. “We already know that. Bokuto’s just being dense as usual,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

“Wait, you’re not leaving us?” Bokuto asks and his large amber eyes get glassy.

“No, I’ll still be around. I’ll be based in Tokyo most of the time, but I’ll come by every couple of months.” You smile at him gently.

Bokuto grins before sitting down with a long sigh of relief.

The next minute, he turns to you and Osamu. His eyes scan around and he drops his voice to a whisper, “So... you’ll be in a long-distance relationship?”

From under the table, Osamu squeezes your hand, and you return the gesture with a soft smile.

“Actually... I’ve been thinkin’ about openin’ a shop in Tokyo. It’s still just an idea, though, so let’s keep it between us for now.”

“Dude, that’s another secret I have to keep! But you can count on me.” He takes a sip of beer before adding, “Oh and I’m happy for you two.”

Osamu intertwines his fingers with yours, for the first time in a while it feels like everything is falling into place. As if he can finally exhale after holding his breath for so long, because nothing can come between you now.

He glances at you; you’re absolutely beautiful. It’s almost unfair how gorgeous you appear in his eyes. There’s so much he wishes to tell you right now, so many more touches he wants to share. The desire to be selfish takes over and he leans in. As he parts his lips to whisper that he loves you, Atsumu shouts.

“SUNARIN! So cool you made it!’

You drop his hand in a sharp, almost reflexive move.

Your knees no longer touch each other, a thin void is left where your shoulder was resting.

Suna strides into the izakaya. Osamu can’t help but look at you, as his former teammate approaches to greet everyone. You’re clearly troubled by the situation, and after all, it’s only normal. What Osamu doesn’t like though, is how your gaze is glued to your ex now and how all your attention is directed towards the middle blocker, instead of him.

He feels his lungs get smashed all over again.

Because just when he thought everything was finally settling, it hits him that perhaps, there’s still one more obstacle to overcome.

author notes: i hope you love roller coasters haha

i really enjoyed introducing new characters from haikyuu even though it's only for a small part of the chapter

did you guys love this chapter? (only 1 left btw)

sorry for the delay againnn

lots of love

taglist: @wolffmaiden, @teyvatsunsets, @obibiwan, @sugacor3, @sunahsvt, @iluv-ace, @cinnamonruts

[notforpenance]

Hey! This is for the askgame, because I’m sure that I’d love any recommendation from you :)

💖 a fic you recently read, loved and why!

💗 a fic you’ve reread again and again and why!

my tastes can be a little all over the place, so i hope some of these interest you C: i wanted to do one carcar and one lestappen for each but then i found like five lestappen fics i wanted to say so you get a few more than one.

💖 a fic you recently read, loved and why!

You'll Just Have to Remind Me by @seaplease (t, carcar, memory loss) this fic is still in progress, but so far, I'm loving it. carlos has antiretrograde amnesia which means he wakes up every day thinking it is the same as the day before, and he keeps going to the convenience store every night where oscar works to buy dryer sheets. oscar begins to realize that there's something a little strange about the same guy buying dryer sheets every single night and engaging him in the exact same conversation each time. when i first started it i was a little confused as to how it could be carcar if carlos never remembers what has happened during his day but the dynamic is carried out so well and it feels really natural and lifelike. definitely recommend it, i'm excited to see more of this one.

blood chem by @sediciii (e, lestappen, vampire, roommates) i'm a sucker for vampire fics (pun intended). this one is probably my favorite i have ever read. it's a lestappen oneshot. max is a vampire, and charles is his all-too-willing-to-help roommate. max looks forward to charles coming back to the room so that he can feed, and charles looks forward to letting max feed for... other reasons. it's very sexy and a little soft, and i love the dynamic between the two of them

💗 a fic you’ve reread again and again and why!

purpose in you by @charlescoded (e, lestappen, arranged marriage, dune au) it's a lestappen dune au oneshot. if you know about dune, charles is a member of the benegesserit and max takes on like a feyd-rautha-type role, and they have an arranged marriage. it got posted right when i was watching the second dune movie for the first time, so it was perfect timing to hook me in. i wish there were more fics in dune au because i feel like that universe has a lot to offer. i cannot express enough how much i am absolutely obsessed with this piece. it is written at a level of writing quality i can only aspire to ever write in my lifetime. the whole piece is entirely enthralling. it is the second part of the series, but this is the one i always reread. the first part is breeding grounds

Ruckus by @tylersayscool (e, lestappen, dystopian battle royale) let me start by saying that everything I've read from this author is so good, i highly recommend checking her out if you haven't already. this one is my favorite, here's the description because i don't think i can do it justice. "The students are taken to a deserted island, fitted with explosive collars, and given random weapons. They are instructed to kill each other until only one survivor remains. If no one is killed within a set time period, the collars will detonate, killing everyone." this fic has such a chokehold on me that i literally was quoting sections in my journal and dissecting them in like essay length entries LOL. the writing is so high quality and the plot is so interesting and unique.

Open my mouth, on my knees (for you) by @lovelylotusf1 (e, carcar) a little less than a year ago i was scrolling through the second round of F1 Kinkmeme submissions looking for oneshots to read and i found this one. funfact: my one fic "you're too sweet for me" was originally supposed to be a lestappen fic and then i read this piece and i was like 'damn i wanna write carcar' and i switched it to that instead. this is a carcar oneshot. here's the description: "Oscar has to deal with the consequences of a drunken confession he sent to Carlos. He gets more than he bargained for." i keep coming back to it because it has such a special place in my heart.

okay i will stop rambling now! there are a few more i would've thrown in but this is already super long i feel like, so i hope some of these are fresh for you to enjoy C:

[lostdrarryfics]

It's been so long since I read this fic and I forgot the title, I forgot the number of words it had or the author but I remember the content so pls help me find this fic <3

It's a Drarry mpeg, Draco is the one who gets pregnant with scorpius, it's an 8th year fic.

When Harry kills Voldemort his animagus changes from stag into a wolf because of Voldemort's magic and harry's animagus absorbs it. There's some prophecy that there will be a wolf who will bring peace to the creature world and that's why harry is like royalty and everyone respects him and creatures bow down to him. There's also a scene where Draco gets lost in the forbidden forest and some centaurs (ig) finds him they they felt he is an intruder but harry comes and tells them Draco is his mate and parent of his unborn child and they all were like sorry.

Everyone knows Draco is pregnant but no ones knows harry is the dad, in the story the school believed that since Draco is now harry's friend that's why he protects him.

Ron and Hermione aren't happy with harry but I remember Hermione comes around on scorpius's first birthday, also scorpius grows faster than normal kids for first weeks because of harry's powerful animagus. And at first harry thought Ron would be scorpius godfather but because of how he behaved he made Blaise the god father.

Later Lucius finds out about Draco and he and a death eater (maybe he was a professor idk) but they harm Draco in front of the whole school by using cruciatus curse on him and harry turns into a wolf and kills the death eater. And here everyone finds out harry is the other father when scorpius calls him daddy.

Harry and Draco also have a hidden dorm which no one knows the location of but one day Hermione follows harry and that's when Hermione finds out, it was scorpius first birthday party when she comes there.

The story ends by the end of 8th year and they had to leave but scorpius didn't want to because he was born here and he knew Hogwarts as his home, but harry tells him that they all will always be together and they were just leaving one home and going to another and they then leave for Hogwarts express. Both Harry and Draco wake up from a dream in Snape's potions class where they shared a dream together and snape tells them to write a 3 foot essay on what they dreamt. Both Harry and Draco leave class and then Draco asks harry if he saw it all too with scorpius and harry said yes and both were very happy and satisfied.

Sorry, we could not find this fic. Maybe one of our followers can help!

[southconfessionpark]

Many in the fandom like to disregard Butters’ involvement in the Weiner’s Out movement, but I’d like to argue that this movement was absolutely nothing surprising for Butters’ character. It’s only a continuation to add depth to his character, and it does no one in the fandom good to ignore it. It makes the most sense FOR his character to be the one to lead that movement. Yes, Butters is naive and innocent and should be protected at all costs. He is usually the one being bullied, and that should not be ignored. I fucking love Butters and hope this nuanced analysis doesn’t make it seem otherwise. I could write a whole ass essay on Butters being bullied and how that impacts his motivations and behavior, but that’s another topic for another day. Does Butter’s goodness and nativity mean that he’s always innocent and doesn’t bully others? ABSOLUTELY not. And that’s not just going based on season 20 at ALL. He has a history of being a dick even in prior seasons, especially to girls and to further his business goals. Hell, he even has a clear tendency towards being extremely rude to Kyle and Stan in particular, even with S&K trying to be very kind and protective of him in the later seasons (*yes, I promise I know S&K are dicks and bullies to him in earlier seasons which is kinda the whole POINT for his transitioning into a dick himself lmao).

He rips on Kyle for being voted ugliest in the class with lots of unbridled joy, being an absolute straight-up bully more than Kyle ever was to him. He rips on Stan for questioning the whole Cis issue when Stan is incredibly confused about girl vs boy stereotypes, yelling at him in front of everyone to use a different bathroom. He yells at Kyle when he genuinely expresses concern for why Cartman wants to spend so much time with him in the ‘cartman sucks’ episode, telling him to ‘grow up.’. He gets upset when Stan tries to intervene when yelling at the kids for tying Butters up (Kenny was included in torturing him, don’t forget this. It was Kyle and esp Stan who ultimately stuck up for him here. Idk WHY the fandom seems to think kenny is the nicest to Kenny when he’s absolutely canonically on the same level as S&K when it comes to dealing w Butters. Maybe the Hawaii episode? But even then it’s more kenny being roped into things w Butters bullying everyone but him and trying to be kind than anything. Not saying I don’t love the Bunny ship because I do, but it’s the goddamn honest truth) on the tetherball pole for never kissing a girl. He’s extremely and loudly mean to Stan despite knowing that Stan is being ostracized in the recent season’s toilet paper episode despite everything being on Randy and not Stan, tricking Stan into listening to him after being bombarded all day with classmate’s taunts by luring him into a conversation calling him a ‘really good friend’ only to completely rip on him for no good reason.  He yells at Stan for being an asshole for trying to genuinely help him during the pandemic despite Stan so clearly going through mental shit himself and trying to pour his blood sweat and tears to help Butters out in the process. There’s so many other instances of him ripping on S&K when they try to help.

He is consistently rude to Wendy and Bebe. In the Smurf’s episode, he leads an entire movement to discredit Wendy, even when not being asked to by Cartman. There’s a fucking reason that the fourth-grade girls (who I can assure you are not seeing Butters in a nuanced way as us adults do) tend to rip on Butters, and he honestly usually deserves it when they do. He calls Bebe a slut and bitch for no reason, getting himself beat up. He taunts Wendy the entire breast cancer episode, being an absolute dick until he realizes Wendy has the upper-hand. He often goes along with Cartman’s views on girls due to his naivety and easily being manipulated, or just not knowing better due to typical girl vs. boy arguments in elementary school. Does a lot of this have to do with him just being a 10-year-old kid who clearly has a history of being bullied himself as well as just being so incredibly naive that he doesn’t understand a lot of the social complexities of things? Absolutely! Does it make it less worse for those he bullies, like Bebe, Stan, Kyle, or Wendy? No, especially considering they are kids themselves who don’t understand the nuances of these things and social dynamics! Does this mean that all those aforementioned people he bullies hasn’t bullied him in the past? No! That’s one of the whole fucking points of it all; that little kids bully each other! Does this mean he grows up to be a dick? Absolutely not! I still think that despite this, he still is the most wholesome person on the goddamn show!

But does all this mean that the Weiner’s Out movement is not in character for him like too many in the fandom tend to pretend otherwise?

ABSOLUTELY not. The Weiner’s Out movement was SO in character for Butters, and those who disagree do not look at Butters as an entirely nuanced, flawed, HUMAN yet still wholesome character. You can’t just make him completely wholesome. He’s NOT. And those who disagree just don’t have the capacity to view things from a non-black-and-white angle.

(Sorry, I know this is a whole ass essay/ted talk. Feel free to cut it down :))

[aristaspark]

Do you believe Brooklynn has feelings for Darius?

Hellooo, I really don't think she does! (who's surprised honestly?) No but fr I need to stop writing essays on this topic 😂 Thank god i'm an insomniac.

I know people are convinced she loves him back because she didn't *actually* reject him and instead said "I'm not really ready for..." but if you look closely at the sequence, the way they animated her body language and facial expressions is much more telling than her words (at least to me), and it led to me agreeing with Darius' recollection of this moment (she tried to be nice about it but it was clear she didn't feel the same).

Like, I don't see how anyone can see that and think she's in love 😭 THAT'S the face of love according to this fandom???? She looks horrified at the mere possibility that Darius could feel anything other than friendship towards her.

Also important to note that she started saying "I just don't think..." before changing her choice of words, and to me it's a clear sign she was about to reject him more directly, but couldn't do it, so instead she went for an answer that would spare his feelings.

And when you add the shot of her putting distance btw them by moving her feet away from him as if she suddenly felt uncomfortable with their proximity... Why would you physically recoil as the person you *supposedly* love confesses to you?

To me if the writers had wanted to indicate that deep down she wanted to be with Darius, but couldn't in this moment because it was too soon (as she said)/for Kenji's sake, they would have had her say the same thing, but have her body instinctively move closer to him as a physical manifestation of her "true feelings" (...which it is, but it moved away, you do the math).

Also the fact that right after that she still asks him to meet with her for her investigation. I don't know, I think that if she felt anything towards him she would have been as embarrassed/uncomfortable as him, but here she brushed it off as if it was nothing. She had no problem with the idea that she would see him later that day, as if to her there was nothing more to be said/this "incident"/chapter was closed.

I already talked about the look during the plane scene so I'm not going to do it again.

From a story standpoint, it would be really questionnable writing if she suddenly fell in love with someone a week after her partner of 6 years dumped her.

And I absolutely cannot see them throw the "she was in love with Darius while dating Kenji" excuse at us, like, that's straight up character assassination. I know they made Brook morally grey but you can't come back from that 😂. Also, it would go against what they showed in the two first seasons because she looked really in love with Kenji (how devastated she looked when he broke up, how happy they were on the video on her phone, how physically affectionate she was with him in episode 3, the picture of them in her secret apartment...).

And this.

I didn't think my biggest evidence for Kenlynn would be some scribbles on a notebook, but oh well 😂

Like, one simply cannot explain this away. This was her attempt at telling them she was alive, and she only wrote to Kenji, not Darius. And it's not like she had to censore herself or to, idk, force herself to write to Kenji to keep up the appearances because those are only, as I said, scribbles on a paper, her raw feelings and thoughts, something she was never going to send anyway.

Like, if they want to make dinostar canon, why post that? Why not take this opportunity to add content/substance to the ship they *supposedly* want to make endgame? Having that letter addressed to Kenji only serves the purpose of showing us that Kenji's the one on her mind, because otherwise that was unnecessary. They could have had her write to the whole camp fam, but instead they decided to show us that she wanted to tell Kenji she was alive above everyone else, including Darius, the one who confessed to her right before her "death" and who Brooklynn most likely knew felt incredibly guilty for not showing up/for her death (Ronnie probably told her).

If she was in love with Darius she would have adressed the "letter" to him, I can't see any argument against that. Or maybe it's more that if she wasn't in love with Kenji anymore, she wouldn't have written to him, but to all of them.

Honestly, the most I can see them giving Dinostar as far as Brooklynn's feelings for Darius go is to have her admit that she used to have a little crush on him when they were on Nublar but that it completely disappeared once she started getting coser to Kenji. I have nothing to back up this theory, but I don't know, I thought that much wouldn't be too far fetched.

(oh, and I almost forgot but this goes without saying... pretty sure her getting attacked, alone at night, mauled by a dino and loosing her arm partly because he set her up would have killed any potential blooming feeling in her).

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

Warmly greet!🫰 I just came across your blog today and I'm already in love with it!🖤🖤🖤 Could I leave a request here where Puppeteer, Jason, Candy Pop and LJ have a S/O who has insecurities about not being good enough for them? Because, come on...they're supernatural, not quite human, and their S/O is a regular, weak human, at least from the S/O's point of view...

Oooh thank you, friend! Also, i never get to write for Candypop or LJ so i am excited to do it!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

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Puppeteer

He will just kind of stare at you when you tell him those feelings

Like??? Are you kidding???

He is so obsessively in love with you that the thought of you feeling like you aren't enough for him is wild to him

Instantly he will assure you that you are more than he could ever dream of, and how much he loves you

He doesnt love you for supernatural abilities or powers, he loves you for you

Again, the thought of you not being enough for him doesn't even really comprehend in his mind

it's so insane to him that you, his most favorite person in the world who he couldn't live without, thinks that they aren't enough for him

If anything, he isn't enough for you, in his opinon

you are a literal deity walking on earth, and he is lucky enough to even witness your beauty and you think you arent enough???

Yeah, those thoughts are snuffed out rather quickly by him

He will spend the entire day going over every little thing he adores about you if he has to

Jason The Toymaker

He is just kind of confused when you express your feelings to him

"Now, what's this all about?" he asks with a pitiful look towards you

He honestly thinks that it's kind of weird that those feelings are even something humans are capable of feeling

What does he care that you don't have any weird abilities?

"Even when you are old and grey I will still love you. I will love you when you are in pain, and I will love you when you are happy. You being human makes no difference to me, because I love you. Even when you breathe your last breath, your soul will live on with me in the form of my favorite doll I will keep on a special shelf, pristine and upkept"

He's kind of a helpless romantic lol

Bro gave you a whole essay

anyways, he literally could not care less if you are magical or not, he's just thinks you're neat <33

CandyPop

He kind of thinks its funny that you think that

He will snort and look at you like you're joking "why??"

"You shouldn't feel that way. It's pointless to. Because you and I both know that no matter what, I still love you. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't like you at least a little bit"

He will joke around with you and make you try to feel good about being human

You are allowed to go pretty much wherever you please without being called a demon, he can't

Your squishy flesh human body is quite sustainable on its own, being able to morph and adapt to extreme situations, which he thinks is neat

And his personal favorite about humans, specifically you, you have such a wide array of expressing yourself! You have emotions, art, studies, etc

He loves you being human and you not liking being human is strange to him

Laughing Jack

He understands the insecurity

He can't say he's ever felt it, because he gives literally no fucks, but he understands

He will do whatever you want him to do about it, really

Lord knows he doesn't know what to do

If you wanna rant, he'll listen

If you wanna just be doted on, that's what he'll do

Whatever makes you feel better

Honestly, he does find it a little peculiar that you don't like being human

Like, if he could be 5'10", wear whatever he wants, do whatever he wants, go whatever he wants, etc, he'd be soooo happy

His 7'6" ass could never

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi can we request some advice and support for closeted systems at school trying to choose a career path?

please consider:

- practically no adults know about our plurality and for safety reasons it should stay this way. getting proper acommodations at school is impossible since we're selves-diagnosed and closeted.

- we are median, monoconscious and traumagenic (OSDD-1a) with parts that tend to come and go. that last part means making big life decisions without some form of regret hard

- the most common standpoints we have are "i don't want to work" (reasoning depends on the part), "space + the humanities somehow", "famous YouTuber or author".

- we have a factive who has an interest in his source's career, but feels like being a factive is cheating (this is linked to allegations that his source takes credit for others' work.) also the industry is highly toxic

- the whole "consider your interests/values/ikigai" feels very singlet-centric to us sadly

sorry if this sounds blunt; i am trying to get a lot of info across. i hope others in the same situation can find help and comfor here as we have

Hi! We went through a very similar problem when we were in school, and we’re sure there are lots of systems out there who are going through something similar! Choosing a career can be incredibly daunting, especially when you have multiple headmates who each want something different for your lives. We want to try and address each of your considerations specifically:

- You can express your worries about choosing the right career to an adult in your life without ever mentioning your plurality or your disorder! Even singlets can be indecisive, nervous, wishy washy, or uncertain when it comes to choosing a career, and you could absolutely come to a teacher, career planner, or guidance counselor with these concerns without ever mentioning your own multiplicity.

- We get this! But learning to live with the choices made by your system is an important lesson! We can’t change the past, so trying to take a deep breath, accept what you can’t change, and make adjustments for the things you can may help dealing with regret a bit easier.

- It’s really unfortunate that most people do in fact have to work for the majority of their lives in order to support themselves! If you’re interested in something that combines outer space and humanities, maybe look into scientific journalism, space journalism, or maybe even double majoring in physics/astronomy and literature/art in order to create some opportunities for your collective to combine these interests for a career down the line!

As far as YouTuber goes, it’s never too early to start drafting potential video essays and start planning out what life as a YouTuber may realistically look like for y’all. And as for being an author, you can start looking into what realistically goes into publishing a piece, working with editors, publishing companies, deadlines, and marketing teams, and what comes with being an author outside of just writing.

- It is not cheating at all for an introject to take inspiration or passion from their source in their system’s real life!! If the career choice this factive is interested in is something that seems appealing to the rest of your system, it is absolutely okay to seriously consider and look into it.

- We understand what you mean with “consider your interests” being singlet-centric, so we’d like to pitch you a different question to ask yourselves: Is there a job which your system members could each see themselves doing? What’s something that you don’t necessarily love, but that you certainly don’t hate? You don’t have to love your job - in fact, most people probably don’t. But finding a job that you A. Can each do comfortably, and B. Don’t hate, can make life easier for your whole collective!

Some other things we feel are worth mentioning:

- If you’re in high school, it is OKAY to take a few years of a break between high school and college while you all figure out a bit more about yourselves and what sort of education you’ll need to get a career you could really excel in. In the meantime, working an entry level job in food service or retail is fine! Our system was pressured into attending college right after high school, and that’s left us with a degree that we’ll never really use because we didn’t know what we wanted to do with our life at that point.

- Any job you can do that supports your system is good enough. It’s okay to not have any sort of big career aspirations! It’s okay to just work a job at the end of the day. Besides, chances are, you may not keep your very first job for the rest of your lives!

- Your career does NOT have to be your whole life/lives! It’s okay for your job to not mean all that much to you or make up a key part of your collective identity. You can fill your lives outside of work with things that really do mean a lot to you! You don’t have to live to work - it’s okay to work to live!

We hope this helps! For context, we are 28 years old and have been in the work force for 13 years now. Currently we are a line cook at a Jewish deli. Our dream career is being a librarian. We may never be able to realistically achieve that, so we’ve filled our lives with activities and interests outside of work to help take care of our own mental and emotional well-beings. And we work a job that we don’t hate, that we can physically accomplish, and that pays enough for us to live more or less comfortably.

Sorry this got so long, but this is a huge topic that we have a lot of thoughts on! Ultimately what’s helped us may not help y’all… but we hope that something here will at least be a little bit useful! We’re wishing you all the very best, no matter what your futures hold! 💕