#i could not remember what i even did so these r inconsistent but i do not care anymore (i do)
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Let's make up.
COSMETIC PLAYLOVER | EPISODE 5
#cosmetic playlover#sahashi...........#fivearchive#i lost my coloring layers in the middle of making this and almost cried but its fine#i could not remember what i even did so these r inconsistent but i do not care anymore (i do)
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thoughts on dino squad? (2007)
(btw it’s episodic. You can watch it in any order tbh (first episode is titled ‘the beginning’))
I absolutely adore it!
I run the account Victor-Veloci-Simp-69.
I've been thinking about linking it to my Main, purely bc when I reblog and reply on posts, it shows my main, so it seems like I don't interact with people as my DS account, which makes me sad because it feels like I might be interpreted as standoffish? But I never have time, and it feels insignificant to do so.
I watched the show when I was a kid, then rediscovered it a couple of years ago, and now every few years I rewatch it.
Its not Technically a "good" show but eh. I love it.
I think the reason why I'm so obsessed with the show is because (This going to get so long, I am so sorry, I have so many thoughts)
There are so much that is just never adressed. I have so many thoughts. There is so much to expand on, so many AUs that are there for the imagining.
I genuinely like the episodes. The plot is genuinely so much fun. The why's of these plots is...questionable. The how's is fun tho.
IT IS SO INCONSISTENT! Okay, not part of why I like it, but Ahhhhhhhhh. None of it makes sense. The characterization changes literally seconds apart!!!!! WHAT!!!!!
JUST FROM EPISODE 1: WHY IS BUZZ DEPICTED AS AN ANIMAL LOVER AND THEN GOES "NAH, I'M NOT SAVING THE DOG FROM DROWNING". This happens seconds Apart!!!!
Why does Roger act indifferent about the assignment and then say "we should work together on this assignment" and Care about the assignment. SECONDS APART!!!!!
THEN THERE'S THE ANIMATION! OH MY GOD. At 4:21, Caruso is shown barefoot. At 4:25 HE HAS SHOES ON.
Ms Moynihan after they get mutated goes: "I told u not to go into the water" NO YOU DIDN'T. YOU NEVER SAID THAT. WHY R U LYING.
(Okay, so she could have said that off screen,I'll give it a pass, but also Literally No Where was that message implied to have been said before she stated that. Also, that implies that she knows Veloci is regularly dumping shit in the water.)
Also, Veloci injects Peter in episode 1 and this is just...never adressed again? What does that do to Peter, besides his eyes changing? THERE IS NO EFFECT WHAT DOES IT DO, I DON’T REMEMBER SEEING THE GUY EVER AGAIN WHAT!!! WHY DID VELOCI DO THAT.
Since Peter was injected with the Ooze, but Veloci is looking for his "perfect dinosaurs", then that inplies Peter is a failed dino. What happened to him? I am in hysterics. What. DOES VELOCI JUST HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF STAFF THAT ARE FAILED DINOS!!!? I HAVE QUESTIONS!!!
I AM....AHHHHHHHHHHHH....I am so normal about this hahahaha.
Which is probably why it sticks in my head so much. Any media I get obsessed with usually has some aspect that makes me want to rip apart a chair with my teeth. Half the fun is telling my friend about the thing that makes me choke in frustration/rage. I like ranting. Its part of the fun to me.
4) I love the animation style.
5) I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS, I AM CLAWING AT MY ENCLOSURE, HOW!!! HOW DID VELOCI AND MS M SURVIVE IN THAT CAVE???? WHERE THEY SLEEPING FOR MILLIONS OF YEARS??? IF SO, HOW WHERE THEY NEVER DISCOVERED BY HUMANS IN ALL THAT TIME?
AT WHAT POINT DID THEY AWAKEN? THROUGH WHAT TIME PERIODS HAVE THEY LIVED? HOW DID THEY EXPIERIENCE WORLD WAR 1? WORLD WAR 2? ALL THE TRAGEDIES? How did they get from point A to point B????
How did they get to their current lives?
There is so much that remains a mystery. And with the large amounts of time Veloci and Ms M had, there is so much thats just. Not there. There are so many gaps to fill. There are so many AUs that can happen. And with the inconsistencies, there are so many places where I can't image the characters are anything but either unreliable or maybe even straight up lying...
Oh, and that's the other thing:
5) They are all, and I mean every single character, Major Assholes. The assholiest. Their only consistent character trait is being an asshole. I love it.
Anyway, I am sooooi normal about this show. So normal.
Also, very important! I love your dinosquad posts!!!! They're really cool, and I love seeing you in the fandom! Just. Feel really gushy about your posts. Also, I always feel really happy when I see you liked one of my Dinosquad posts. Its a small fandom, so I always feel like I'm talking into a void.
I have more thoughts, but this post has gotte really long as is lmao. I am so sorry.
This ask meant a lot to me, so thanks ♥.
#Ask#dino squad#dinosquad#This ask has inspired me to do an episode by episode analysis I am obsessed#My dinosquad fase was dtarting to quiet down again but now Im fired up about it okay
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I watched Aquaman (2018) two weeks ago and I am STILL thinking about how. *gestures as if to try and decide*... how inconsistent? it is. And I honestly don't know what to call it.
On the one hand, I do love that Arthur is reluctant and not interested in being king. He doesn't want power, hes got enough. Ultimately, he becomes king because he wants to save his world (in context its clear he means the Surface, human world) and sure ok if that means saving Atlantis, ok.
Problem is, beside the drama of "who deserves to be king"... is Orm even doing a bad job? Why does he NOW want to become king and Ocean Master? Atlantis wasn't any more on the verge of being discovered than when people first realized Arthur might be part Atlantean. Sure, someone has to be a villain, and being denied confirmation that he is the "true heir" because he didnt have uh Atlan's trident is a doozy but its been centuries since anyone has had it? So he was feeling threatened by... his older half-brother who.... *checks notes* didnt fucking want to be king.
Ok, so Orm was the villain because (for whatever reason) he Just Now Decided to culminate all his plans to force the title Ocean Master unto himself. As far as we know, (although movie 2 will hopefully touch on this) Orm had not been looking for the trident. If Arthur and Mera found it in like 2 days, how did Orm not find it in yanno at least two decades?
"Well," you say, "it was because Vulko and Mera didn't find the hologram recording thing until Just Now."
So why didn't they give it to Orm? Because he... "isn't the true heir"? Who is deciding that? If Orm doesn't even get to TRY to get the trident, because he doesnt know where it is, because he doesnt have the hologram message from Atlan... how could anyone possibly know Arthur is the "true" heir? He's 100% Atlantean, second son of the last (previous) queen of Atlantis. Sure, hes the second son, but hes the first 100% Atlantean son.
(I'm not gonna go into the absolute BULLSHIT that is Atlan's message... its so fucking stupid im so 😤 about it. Its stupid. Not to be on the side of cinemasins bc they're assholes but if they had a monolog about it and gave it more than 1 "sin" I say rightly so! If they didnt... not surprised bc that channel is lame and yet I still think of them. Sigh. I digress.)
So then we look at Vulko and Mera. What would they know about Arthur that he (or anyone else) doesn't know? Maybe that he... saved the world with the Justice League? That he can speak to aquatic animals unlike any other Atlantean (was Atlan able to? Methinks he was, so was he half-human, half-Atlantean, too? More on that... another time) can? That Vulko made a promise to Atlanna that he would protect Arthur? And Mera had NO reason to go with Arthur, no reason to betray her nation and family, no reason to forsake her betrothal beside the fact that... uh. *checks notes again* Arthur is... hot, and that we have to have a romantic coupling by the end of this movie.
And I dont know if its Amber Heard or the writing, but I have written better romances at the age of thirteen than the writers did for this movie. They brush hands once, he catches her when she stumbles from the statue thing (I think??), I guess we can count her betraying her home just for a hot dude (can't relate) as a romantic gesture... but he doesn't do anything for her.
Which is funny. Especially when you look at the times she kisses him, she initiates both times. Or maybe just the one time? I remember two, but one is dramatic (cinematic, even?) underwater and another is shorter and above water, and he seems surprised by both. Which makes me uncomfortable, especially his surprise. We obviously don't have a lot to go on to see how he acts around women, beside Wonder Woman, and I can't remember what he says to her in Justice League (beside some probably bad jokes and stuff bc its ... well. Anyway.) so like for all we know hes suave and charming etc or a complete dummy and Just Gets Lucky.
But like. The romance doesn't make any sense. Shes interested in him, hes fine (?) with it, but is that enough to betray your world's previous tranquility? We don't really get to see what Orm got up to, so we don't know what kind of king he is.
(Sidenote: its interesting to see what they considered pros and cons for Orm and Arthur, and how they didn't know Arthur helped stop uh. Whats-his-face from destroying the planet. BUT who controls the pros/cons list and maybe they didn't want anyone in the audience to know he was a world-saving ☆hero☆.)
So Vulko. The one who knew both Arthur and Orm, made a promise to Atlanna about Arthur but potentially not about Orm. Not to look at Wilem Defoe and say "man only plays betrayers and villains, I dont trust him" only to be surprised that Vulko did in fact stay true to the protagonist of the story. Vulko effectively chose who the "true" heir was out of Atlanna's sons.
Why?
No idea. Beside Arthur being the first-born.
So they should have made Arthur the second-born son. Not only would his half status be more of a "disadvantage", but it would make Arthur's reluctance more sensible and Orm's confidence more concrete, more clearly defining why they were doing what they were doing. Orm defending his birthright as first-born would have been more interesting than second-born grasping for it, where Arthur being second-born but reluctantly being pushed to claim the older brother's right as his own more controversial and dangerous. ALSO it would have made more sense for Atlanna to be condemned to the Trench because she first of all was wounded (?) on the shore near Tom's lighthouse and so I dont think she meant to be there, but is she really to be punished by falling in love with someone who rescued her and helped her heal? Is it really her fault to have a child with the person who evidently helped her learn about humanity as something not inferior but equal in a different way than expected (a potential reach but let me live). Is it so bad that she had her firstborn as a half human?
But I guess there is the crux of the problem, which ultimately is on patriarchal bullshit than on her "fault". She did choose that her first child was half-human. And why didn't she just return to Atlantis after being healed/nursed back to health? Why did she stay? Was there something that made her reluctant? Who did the condemning? Also, who the fuck is Orm's father? Where was he in the story?
Atlanna wasn't interested in returning to Atlantis, at least not until Arthur was older so that he could learn to be the prince and heir of the nation. I think she did mean to return when he was older. She called him a king of his people, agreed to name him after a strong and good (according to legend) king. (Arthur was also the name of a storm which hello hello so sexy I wanna write another paragraph on that but not Right Now.) She planned to bring Arthur to Atlantis to unite the Surface and Ocean nations. Was that so much a crime to cast her into the Trench, after, of course, bearing another son to take the throne?
Why was Arthur the true heir, according to the movie? The story's universe? Who decided this, or what? Why? Why not Orm? Because Arthur had a hero's reluctance, which is often apparently a good thing, (it is, it so fucking is, to see a hero reluctant to be a victor because of the necessary sacrifices. A selfish hero who wins is better than an arrogant hero who wins for self-gain and power.) over his brother's expectations of being king because he's 100% Atlantean?
I dont get it. Leaves me with suspicions and doubts and questions.
I dont trust Vulko or Mera. The Mera and Arthur romance is suspicious and I dont trust it, either.
Im excited for the second movie to see if any of this is clarified, or if its just going to be moved past and I'm gonna be floundering asking "hey what the fuck" as I get more information but No Answers.
#aquaman#aquaman 2018#ive been thinking of this movie a lot#i literally have no idea about the mera/arthur thing. it doesnt make any sense. i wish we could have had them kiss in their second movir#after establishing more of a relationship???#maybe im just spoiled by the past few big and good movies ive seen having like no romance subplot#its soooooo 2010s haha im gonna cry im not even that old#this movie came out four years ago and while i didnt see it in theaters then i am certain i will be asking these questions and more until#aquaman 2 and even then i wont get answers :D#fuck !!!#anywho#arthur curry#if you get lost in this idk what to tell you. its pretty coherent. to me. :)
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No okay because I'm annoying I have decided to share the story of why this thing means so much to me. Gonna put it under a cut though because it's a lot and I'm not sorry for that, but I'm considerate of your dash. :)
A hundred years ago when I first got into collecting Taylor CDs, I happened upon a listing on eBay for a WANEGBT single. But it was expensive! I remember thinking, "Who would charge $80 for something you can get at Walmart for $3? What a rip off." So naturally, my curiosity got the better of me and I looked into it.
To my surprise, it was not in fact that same one you could pick up at any store, but a remixed version, which up until this point I had never even seen a physical copy of. With the tab still open, I started doing some research on other sites and forums and found that this was actually a DJ-only copy, and that not many had been made. A quick Google search taught me that these things, at least for Taylor, go for HUNDREDS of dollars, if not thousands, depending on their age and rarity. Now, considering WANEGBT was only maybe a year old at the time, I knew it wouldn't fetch as an extreme a price, but that I'd probably be outbid. I bid anyway, allowing myself to spend no more than $100, which, at the time, was unheard of for me. (Present me is laughing my ass off at this statement, by the way.)
To my absolute shock and amazement, I actually WON. She was the very first USDJ disc I ever owned, and I must have checked my mailbox every day that week waiting for her to arrive, and once she finally did, I giddily ran to my computer to rip her into my music library and then just have another little moment of joy over owning something I knew would one day be worth a lot of money!
But then I started talking to another collector. The two of us had actively seen eBay's dupes rise exponentially with the Red Tour approaching, and between the two of us, we'd become pretty good at spotting them. At this point, I believe I owned another three USDJ discs and was always checking them for any sign of fault in color, text, or even something as minute as letter spacing to ensure my products were always authentic. During one of our routine "investigations," if you will, I started noticing some inconsistencies with WANEGBT. For one, it was on a CD-R rather than a manufacturer-pressed disc. The disc's image color was off. And, when comparing it to others in my collection, it just seemed... wrong. FEAR. DISGUST. ANGER. Had I purchased a fake?
I was unsure, but now I had this pit in my stomach, and WANEGBT was the source. I couldn't look at it anymore; it was a blemish on my otherwise perfect collection. So, after about two months of debate, I turned around and sold it on eBay for $80.
THIS WAS A DECISION THAT HAD HAUNTED ME FOR YEARS. Turns out, every copy that was made for it was pressed on a CD-R, as most radio stations had moved to digital files rather than hard copies. The color inconsistencies? Completely normal for that pressing. And of course, now that I had discovered this via someone else who had the same copy, I was CD-less. ANGER. DISGUST. FEAR. In that order, I was once again left with a pit in my stomach. I had given someone else my legitimate copy for next to nothing, and no matter how often I searched, what words I used, or whom I contacted, I never saw hide nor hair of the thing anywhere on the net. It was like its existence had just been completely erased.
And then, just a couple months ago, I got a wild idea to check Discogs for an entirely different album, and on my search, decided to take a poke around at what items on my want list were for sale.
And then I see it: her. The darling, beautiful WANEGBT country remix DJ cd that I'd been kicking myself in the ass for selling for years, just waiting for me to find her. It only took a day and a half of back and forth communication with the seller to get pictures sent my way and confirmation that it was, in fact, legitimate before I slammed my mouse into that "purchase" button. Once again, I was paying $100 for a WANEGBT cd, but this time, I was doing so with full confidence and a sense of pride. This time, she was coming home to stay.
And stay she has, and stay she always will. You literally would have to pry her from my cold, dead hands, because we are never ever ever getting separated again. Like, ever. 🌸
Listen, I fully know how ridiculous this is, but every time I glance over and see my copy of WANEGBT country, I just get all heart eyes. Like literally head over heels in love with this dang cd. Sitting at my desk looking at it like
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the awful ratings on rvd can be attributed to various things. first, removing everything that was familiar for the general public (aka the couples) and second, the writing that seems to be dragged out because they don’t know what to do anymore. don’t get me wrong, rvd has never been a good show but at least you could appreciate the craziness on S1-S4 plus the couples, they had a good balance between craziness, mysteries and romance. despite the writing being super inconsistent i still feel every season it reached a conclusion, if you know what i mean. the villain lasted one season, the plot quiet of closed and next season opened with a new thing and it was still pretty weird. the show at least committed to being weird.
S5 was dark and lifeless and it reached not conclusion, it didn’t move those characters forward and all the arc conclusion for the characters it might have reached were erased by the finale. it was not new or "fresh" it was lazy because the time skip was used to wash their hands on bad writing, it was boring and quiet frankly, it didn’t feel like the characters.
i'm trying to think about what exactly did rvd do for the characters last season and i'm empty handed. BA had one of the most sincere conversations they probably ever had about why they don’t work together and that archie will always love verconica but by the finale it didn’t matter. we lost screen time on them. veronicas plot did not move at all last season. betty’s plot did not move at all. we are still stuck on TBK. jughead's plot was unnecessary, the aliens/mountain men plot was useless and did archie do anything important? i can’t even remember. it was a waste of a season.
now you have the supernatural and universes because it seems roberto and the writers missed sabrina but they ruined that show too so they want to make rvd supernatural. it feel like it was the writers project rather than something to do for the audience you still have left. season 5 ended up making everyone run away and now no one understands what happening anymore. you can tell the season 5 finale was changed last minute by how inconsistent it was because the network gave roberto the okay for the "5 episodes event" when it was time to film it, but you guessed the whole of s6 it’s just the event that was supposed to be only 5 episodes because they don’t know what to do anymore. they are dragging the plot for the special event + superpowers. i know secretly the network is crying because they shouldn’t have approved that event and let roberto just film the finale he wrote originally which obviously was VA/BH/CH. like, the fact that the perfect for you duet was teased to be a BH duet ever since s5 started filming but it was changed in the worst way possible last minute and even roberto admitted he had to convince Cole because he was given more signing parts than he originally agreed with like – the couples that exist right now were supposed to be temporal (for the event) but we are now stuck with them because the writers don’t know what do do anymore.
You said it, anon. S5 was the killshot for this show. It was a boring slog of misery porn for absolutely zero payoff. In fact, people dragged themselves through s5 only to be slapped in the face at the end.
So people left in droves, and as much as they are desperately begging for viewers back, they're gone for good. The best they can hope for is to limp to the finish with a pathetic number of viewers, and I feel no sympathy. They made their beds.
Also, good point that they desperately need a new plot. They've been recycling the same plot for 2 seasons now, and let's be real here, NOBODY cares about saving Riverdale. They may have once cared about TBK, but they dragged it out too long and now people's interest has faded. And now we're getting Vale 2.0, with entire episodes dumping more and more plot on it, and you just know this show won't make the climax of this plot satisfactory. I am more than bored, and that was the one thing RD never was before. Say what you want about it, but it was never boring.
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It’s 2021 and I’m angry that Jane never told Maura she loved her.
I never thought rizzles would be canon, but I honestly spent the whole show waiting (even after I quit watching) to hear that Jane had finally looked Maura in the eye and said one real, non-jokey “I love you” - you know, like a nice friend might. Like Maura did. I felt like that was a reasonable hope, and I was deeply disappointed when the show ended after seven years without it ever happening.
The fact that there were a few near misses just makes me more annoyed. The best one was when she said it very sincerely in the finale, but it was directed at everyone, and I could write a thing about how it was ~really meant for Maura~ but I shouldn’t have to excavate that from subtext when Maura absolutely deserved her own, genuine “I love you”. Plus, that line was set up almost as if Jane is the trope character who can’t say those words... but she isn’t. She said I love you a bunch, to everyone but Maura. There’s no character arc explanation to wring out of this even if I reach, because it’s not even a matter of characterization so much as careless, shallow, inconsistent writing.
According to the notes I see on rizzles posts, most people don’t remember a lot of the show anymore, except the general vibe of Maura being a sweet, loving friend and Jane being a cranky, self-centered turd. And that’s not wrong. The writing for Jane was emotionally disappointing, even in the context of a platonic friendship, more than a few times.
Yet Jane is what I started and kept watching this show for, specifically the way she loves Maura. Back when I’d never heard of R&I, it was Jane’s affection for Maura that made me scroll back up to watch my first-ever gif of them loop twenty times and say, “I don’t know who those two are, but that brunette one would do anything for the blonde one.��� I've never been half as interested in Maura’s love for Jane as Jane’s for Maura. Every fanart or fic I’ve ever made has been driven by it. I guess I’m a sucker for the trope of the grumpy one loving the sunshine one.
The fanon Jane that lives in my head loves Maura fiercely, and although that takes ignoring lots of stupid stuff, I’d like us all to remember that it does have roots in canon. Multi-part photo set to follow of times I saw Jane showing her love for Maura instead of saying it.
x / 1 / 2 / 3 / 4
#rizzoli & isles#separate preamble bc nobody wants to rb this part#this is not to be a rizzles manifesto this is basically just times jane cared about maura the way she should've as a friend#I wanted them to be together but not like how I NEEDED jane to be a good friend#because it's easy to download a romantic expansion pack for a good friendship#but it's hard to care anything about a dissatisfying lopsided relationship of any kind#and this one is maybe not quite as lopsided as its reputation?#i'm not saying it doesn't take cherrypicking but I am saying look how many cherries there are#TJTMSLH#my stuff
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For the meta thing, how about big sisters with absent mothers: Winter and Yang? Like, how they dealt with things differently and what a friendship between them would look like
anon i just want you to know that as soon as received this ask i barged into my girlfriend’s room to be like “is this you???” because this ask is so EXQUISITELY tailored to my personal interests that i was like “literally who else would cater to me like this” and it was not her, apparently!!! so thank you very much for this ask.
of course i have SO MANY thoughts about this topic that it took me a complete month to marshal them into something faintly coherent, if staggeringly long, so. i hope it’s worth the wait.
S(chnee)-side: how to lose brothers and alienate sisters
let’s start from some well-trodden ground: the season 5 character shorts, and their subsequent caricaturization via Chibi, which posit the Yang vs. Winter dichotomy as something like “Yang loves Ruby by diving into a monster’s mouth for her, and telling her she always has her back, and Winter does the same for Weiss by...siccing monsters on her, and telling her that she won’t always be around to save her from them.” much hay has already been made about the reasons why the two of them would act in the ways they did, so for the purposes of my own meta i’m going to skip over those, and concentrate on how content since season 5 has updated these conceptions.
and on Winter’s end of things, these conceptions have been updated by showing that she’s, uh.
...full of shit.
we’ve now had TWO instances of Winter going above and beyond to protect someone vulnerable. the first time was for Penny, with whom she has a sisterly bond, and the second time was for Ren, with whom she has...exchanged a few lines of dialogue. if she’s so ready and willing to hurl herself bodily into the path of an aggressor for someone who is basically a stranger, then why all the pageantry with Weiss about how she can’t (or won’t) save her? did she carve some kind of blood relative exemption into her saving people thing? does it only apply to people who wear a lot of green?¹
to properly address this question--and to bring in the Willow of it all--i think we should step back and ask: how does Winter actually feel about the Schnee name?
not Jacques’ name, mind. nor anything he did to besmirch it. Willow’s name, and Winter’s birthright.
because what has always been interesting to me is that while Weiss has talked about reclaiming or rehabilitating the Schnee name from their father’s meddling and still clearly wants to reconcile herself with it, even after being disinherited, Winter has only ever talked about distancing. it’s entirely possible that she had similar aspirations when she was around Weiss’ age and was just more thoroughly disabused of them, but my point stands: Winter shows a discomfort with the Schnee name overall in a way that Weiss has yet to. you don’t have to look any further than Winter’s combat style to see how this discomfort is telegraphed, as she barely uses any Dust, or Glyphs, and the one aspect of her Semblance that she does use and tout are Summons, which just so happens to be the part that emphasizes her own individual ability to conquer foes. something about the Schnee name feels irreconcilably tainted for Winter,² and while i’m sure a large part of it has to do with her father, who can make her explode into emotion confetti by just being in the same room as her for thirty seconds, a not-insignificant part can probably be chalked up to the fact that...
Willow Schnee was probably never all that good a mother.
granted: we’ve have exactly one scene (two if you count the 8.2 sneak peek) with her, so i’m fully ready to be called Boo Boo the Fool if we get a flashback and Willow was some kind of crusading super-mom prior to her descent into alcoholism, but. the idea that she hasn’t ALWAYS had to compromise herself and her children just to get by feels facile. this is not to victim blame, but to say that Willow is an imperfect person (in that she is. a person) placed into a horrific situation, which means that she could not always deal with the situation perfectly. it’s important to remember her agency--both before and after she became an alcoholic--but it’s just as important not to idealize it into something it’s not. Willow was by no means a co-abuser to her children, but she was probably always inconsistent, because living with your abuser for years on end does that to you. personally, i’ve always envisioned pre-alcoholism Willow as...well-meaning and much more perceptive and intelligent than people give her credit for, but beset with her own flaws that grew in proportion to her hurt and bitterness. she was capable of shielding her children from her husband’s worst excesses, and often did; but she was just as capable of retreating when she might have fought, of excusing Jacques’ actions to try to keep the peace, even of lashing out at those who shouldn’t have to handle her negative emotions.
her descent into alcoholism exacerbated these tendencies, but Willow has always been a complicated woman, and the idea that there was a prelapsarian time when Willow was an unmitigated good, before...idk, her Good battery ran out and she became Drunk Victim Non-Mom, is...well, it’s definitely something that a ten-year-old who had an ENORMOUSLY traumatic birthday would believe (and blame herself for), but Winter might disagree. i don’t think her view would be any more objective, if only because the day Winter Schnee has an un-myopic thought is the day i pass gracefully into the West, but her view is probably more complicated and less flattering, because Winter knew her mother more as a person, and that’s something we’re gonna talk about more with Yang and Ruby, later.
the point i want to make now, with Winter, is that her determined inconstancy, where she’ll readily jump into the jaws of a monster for her siblings in one breath and berate them and caution them against needing her in the next--that comes from her experience with Willow. the lesson she wants her siblings to learn is not just “the people who are supposed to love you are cruel, so get a helmet,” but “the people who are supposed to love you disappoint you, which is worse, so it’s better to not rely on them at all.”³ better for them to learn it from her than firsthand, but also--better for herself, because when she does disappoint them (and she did. she left.) at least she can take comfort in the fact that surely it doesn’t hurt as much; she warned them, after all.
in Winter’s mind, this kind of disappointment is an inevitability, so what’s paramount is to make sure that when it does happen her siblings are at least prepared for it. in the face of that the fact that she would actually risk life and limb to help them if they ever need it falls to the wayside; i don’t think it was a mindful decision that Winter consciously made--like, i don’t think she ever thought “i’m going to withhold the fact that i would die for them because that would contradict the whole social Darwinism thing i’m trying to drill into their heads,” because Winter’s just...not that kind of deliberate rational actor, in any arena. rather--and maybe even more damning--i think she just assumes that Weiss and Whitley already KNOW, that it’s a given for them the sacrifices she’d make for them in the same way it’s a given for her. but they don’t! because you have to say these things, and Winter has been force-feeding them the precise opposite.
ultimately all of these contradictory impulses stem from Winter’s deep-seated need for control--both of herself, and of the environments around her, and those in turn come from the fact that she was a) repeatedly wounded as a child and b) had to shoulder responsibilities far beyond her own ability as that same child, which...continues to this day. from this perspective, what matters is less keeping her siblings safe, and more her own ability to save them. she knows that’s imperfect, so she compensates by enforcing what worked for her onto them, and also by keeping them away from anything that could harm them, without their input. i never thought much of the contrast in environments for the character shorts--like of course Weiss would spar with Winter’s Summons at home like the untested shut-in she was--but what did take me aback was that in season 7, after Weiss has waltzed across an entire continent and been promoted to a full Huntress, Winter...still exclusively trains Weiss with her Summons up in Atlas, while Ruby and Yang are traipsing across Mantle killing ACTUAL Grimm. i have no doubt that this was for foreshadowing reasons, but still: it points to the fact that for all Winter loves Weiss and would fight giant monsters for her, there’s a part of her that...doesn’t trust Weiss, and wants to maintain control over her.⁴
this, i think, is part of the reason why Whitley treats her basically like an un-person: it’s not just that she left when he was too young and Jacques filled in all the gaps with lies and slander, it’s also that even when Winter was around the bigger age gap made it much easier for her to reconcile keeping him out of the loop, for his own good. she can’t ever be vulnerable around either of her siblings, but especially not Whitley, because he’s too young; he might let something slip when they’re around Jacques, and she shouldn’t be putting that kind of burden on him anyway. if he resents her when she’s just trying to protect him--except you said that you wouldn’t, Winter you absolute moron--then that’s his prerogative. it doesn’t change her own responsibilities. they can be miserable and Byronic in their own separate cubby holes and it’s fine.
(it’s not fine.)
R(ose)⁵-side: tonight, the role of Replacement Goldfish will be played by...everyone
let’s get one thing out of the way: Yang is a GOOD big sister, and some of the ways that she is good can be chalked up to the fact that she had a better home life, but only some. her character short ends with her promising Ruby that she’ll always have her back after spending the short proving it, and she has--until recently, and we’ll get to that--lived up to it. people get caught up on how much time Yang spends with Blake nowadays, but it’s important to remember that the entire impetus for Yang reuniting with anyone during the Mistral arc was about Ruby. so is the thing that separates a Yang from a Winter is that a Yang preaches what she practices, and isn’t firing a million zillion mixed signals at all times?
well--yeah, basically, but we’re gonna make a big thing out of it anyway.
what made Yang and Ruby different from the Schnees--even before the character shorts--was a sense of parity. in contrast to Winter insisting on maintaining a) the most unapproachable facade in the world, and b) a death-grip on every situation at all times, Yang was characterized from the outset as...chill (ironically). despite her Semblance being LITERALLY hotheadedness, Yang’s passionate energy never manifested in any real desire to take charge. the fact that she was fine (even happy!) with Ruby being bumped up to her year and then becoming leader speaks volumes to how much Yang trusts and respects Ruby’s judgement. rather than try to mask her flaws, she exudes this kind of...radiant fallibility and lets Ruby take care of her, or keep her in line. they complement each other: Yang takes care of more grounded concerns like individual fights and making friends, while Ruby--again, until recently--set more abstract goals and gave them moral direction.
a lot of this can be attributed to the smaller age gap, but i think it also comes from growing up as two motherless free-range children on an island--and the motherlessness is obviously a huge deal for both of them. when i started writing this i honestly thought i’d talk more about Raven, since she’s the mom who’s actually a character already, and her absence plays a huge role in how Yang deals with her abandonment issues in the present, but to be honest: the loss that cut the deepest for Ruby AND Yang is Summer, because Summer was actually around enough to be lost. despite the show frequently dividing custody of Team STRQ right down the middle between Ruby and Yang, where Ruby “gets” Summer and Qrow and Yang “gets” Tai and Raven, it’s the admixture of Rose and Branwen that makes the two of them who they are.⁶ Yang spent more time with Summer, but Ruby spends more time with Qrow, who is Yang’s blood uncle, so the dichotomy between nature and nurture is fascinatingly blurred.
i know this is an unpopular opinion, but i hope Summer really is dead, because the ways that her daughters interpellate their own identities from her absence drives so much of the story. that SUMMER was the first mother Yang lost--not Raven, because Yang didn’t even know about Raven until Summer died--is what shapes her relationship with Ruby, but also her relationship with Raven. what’s always simmering just below the surface of any Yang-Raven confrontation is that the person Yang actually wanted to find the whole time she was looking for Raven was Summer, because she wanted a mom, and a mom looked like Summer. Raven’s not stupid--it might be her one redeeming quality--so it’s likely that she’s always known and resented this. it’s not an accident that the moment Yang stopped looking for Raven for Raven and started looking for her for an easy conduit to her real family was the moment she actually found Raven.⁷ it was the first step to Yang outgrowing her old habits, of waiting for a mother to return--a classic “she needed a hero so that’s what she hurdy blah”
in a way that’s what she’s been doing this whole time. in contrast to Winter, who compensated for her mother’s flaws by ratifying them into universal law, Yang did the same by defying their supposed truth: people might leave her, but she won’t leave Ruby, and Ruby won’t leave her. it’s telling that whenever Yang leaves--even as a literal child--she always took Ruby with her, even if she planned on coming back. (it’s just as telling that when Winter left she didn’t.) she’ll always be there for Ruby, to give her the boost she needs to become the Summer they all want her to be, which means being a little of Summer herself--the part of Summer that baked cookies and slew monsters. and in return Ruby gave her...a sense of certainty, i think: that Ruby needs her and therefore won’t leave, but also that Ruby has the parts of Summer that Yang can’t muster herself--the grand heroic ideal, the moral certitude, etc.
...and now we’re finally gonna talk about the Schism, which i honestly think is the best thing that has happened to their relationship, development-wise. by the end of the Mistral arc Yang has arrived at a healthier perspective with respect to her relationships with everyone: now it’s not about indiscriminately giving herself away to people in the hopes that they might not leave her, but about choosing to give herself away to the people she loves and trusts. on one level this should not conflict with her relationship with Ruby at all, because Yang loves Ruby, but on another...the fact that Yang no longer feels obligated to perform unending support, to be the grounded complement, to fill in the parts of Summer that Ruby can’t--of COURSE that’s going to bring about conflict. because it turns out Yang never needed Ruby to give her direction or discipline. she’s now had time to think of the things she herself values, and those...don’t exactly match up with Ruby’s--or Summer’s.⁸ Yang, having known Summer as a mother, having been confronted repeatedly with the fallibility of mothers, is starting to outgrow Summer, and grow separately from Ruby.
but growing separately doesn’t have to mean growing apart, and i think Yang, at least, knows this. she clearly feels Some Kinda Way about their disagreement (and Blake’s implicit alignment with Ruby), but she’s also confident enough in her own beliefs by this point to commit to them. Yang’s taking charge instead of deferring to Ruby, and it turns out that...she’s actually not a bad leader herself, since she and Jaune have pretty much split a lot of those responsibilities. for her it’s not a question of losing faith or love in Ruby as a person, but about discovering what she herself fights for.
Ruby...sees it differently, because Ruby sees Summer differently. if Yang has always defined herself against Summer by deciding that she can NEVER fully be Summer, so she’ll make do with what she can, then Ruby’s always defined herself against Summer by marking Summer as the endpoint of her personal trajectory. what Ruby knows of Summer--that she was a person who enjoyed life and did not believe in original sin, that had a magical special destiny that was totally fine and awesome and didn’t drive her to her death, that she was a baker of cookies and slayer of monsters--is what Tai and Qrow--and Yang--told her about Summer, because Ruby was too young to remember the real Summer. so Summer for her is this abstract paragon to live up to, and no more. she can’t possibly exceed Summer, because the Summer Ruby knows encompasses literally all that is good.
when Yang tells Ruby “i’ve always got your back” in the short, a lot of it is about Yang, and the ways Yang needed to be there for other people so they’ll be there for her in return. but it’s also something Ruby really needed to hear, because Ruby needed the security and comfort of knowing that even if she screws up there are people around her who can help shoulder the burden. that security already took a serious hit after Yang lost her arm, but Ruby, kind and generous person that she is, was able to reconcile with that, because YANG HAD JUST LOST HER ARM. it would be ridiculous to expect Yang to have her back the way she used to, and besides--it was time she grew up, and growing up means becoming more like Summer, all of Summer, by herself.
and...she gets pretty far, is the thing, because Ruby IS a lot like Summer, and is incredible and amazing all by herself to boot, but the point is that no one should feel this much pressure to be All That Is Good, especially when you’re a teen. Ruby’s not ready to recognize that, partly because at this point so many people are looking to her for leadership, but also because being Summer’s heir is the only real link she has to her mom.⁹ so she hunkers down and does the best she can, in a situation that has far spiraled beyond anybody’s control...and then Yang tells her that it’s not working out, that this time it’s not that she can’t have Ruby’s back, but that she won’t. in Ruby’s mind, this could only mean one of two things: either Yang no longer believes what Ruby believes--what Summer believed, or...Yang no longer believes in Ruby, because she wasn’t good enough.
and well. it’s Ruby. it’s not hard to guess which reason she’s picking right now, especially since she pretty conspicuously refused to call the shots during the Amity heist.
but this is of course a false dichotomy. it’s not about which one of them is right, or even more right, and the show does a very good job with the framing to show that both of them have a point. similarly, what Ruby needs right now is neither confirmation that her long-held beliefs are objectively the best ones, nor that she is good enough to become Summer after all. no; what she needs instead is the knowledge that she’s allowed to fuck up, to deviate from what people have told her about Summer, to become what Summer never was. that’s something Yang can--and will--help her work out.
oh no this analogy is breaking apart: how they’d get along
...oi.
look, even beyond the fact that Winter doesn’t get along with ANYONE over much, i don’t think there’s any universe where she wouldn’t immediately rub Yang the wrong way. not only because Winter’d initially treat Ruby with the same cold tyranny that she (up until very recently) treats Weiss, but also because Yang’s partner is Blake, and--to say nothing of Atlas/Schnee-on-Faunus oppression--she was personally made collateral during the fallout with Blake’s abuser.¹⁰ i myself wouldn’t say that Winter abused Weiss, but to Yang’s protective and skewed view...
well, can you imagine Weiss trying to explain the way Winter ~~~trained her to the Bees? “oh, she sent a pack of Beowolves to hunt me! it was a meant-to-lose fight and when i started doing well she just moved the goalposts. one of her wolves almost ate me before i begged her to stop but it...probably...wouldn’t have...it was fine! my Aura didn’t dip THAT much. Winter’s the best!!” Yang’s hair would have been on fire after the first sentence, is all i’m saying. this coupled with the fact that Yang would very likely view Winter leaving Weiss and Whitley through the lens of Raven doing the same thing to her, and i think it would take a pretty long time for the two of them to see eye to eye on anything.
which is not to say that they have nowhere to go but antagonism, because at their cores Winter and Yang both have a) no hesitation whatsoever when it comes to protecting the people they care about and b) a tendency to define protection literally, often bodily. the difference is that Yang’s Semblance weaponizes these protective instincts for her, and she learned the limits of taking that too far. Winter...doesn’t, and hasn’t.¹¹ that COULD lead to some interesting conversations, but i don’t think Yang has quite the emotional clarity and generosity to reckon with that yet, and they’re not about to talk about it inside the Giant Whale.
a necessary part of Winter’s development is learning to respect the people around her instead of instantly categorizing them into boxes labeled “to fight” and “to protect and order around.” her friction with Yang could be an intriguing way to explore that; i have no doubt, for example, that Winter would have hurled herself between Elm and Yang just as readily as she had between Elm and Ren. similarly, i think if Winter ever were in the same room with both Raven and Yang she’d last about ten seconds before trying to rip Raven’s hair out with her teeth, because Raven is neglectful and casually demeaning in ways that are instantly recognizable to Winter (in the same way they were to Weiss).¹² the issue is that her doing any of these things for Yang--y’know, the same Yang who IMMEDIATELY gave Blake the cold shoulder when she tried to pull the whole “i’ll protect you” crap--is that she would only find it confusing and frustrating, and likely wouldn’t mince words expressing that.
Yang’s a big sister herself, and therefore knows all the big sister tricks, and Yang has a consistent pattern of not wanting to rely on other people, particularly people she sees as adults. so the best path toward a Winter and Yang friendship is probably not the head-on approach, but obliquely through someone else. that someone else can’t be Weiss, because Yang would be already hypervigilant about the way Winter treats Weiss--but it could be Ruby. even putting aside the fact that she is now one of the most important people in the world for BOTH her sisters, Ruby herself is very easy to love, and Winter loves very easily, despite herself. what they have in common--idealism and a martyr complex--would also engender some cool interactions, and Ruby would let Winter take care of her, if only to make Winter feel better.
i could see that being the impetus for Yang tentatively, grudgingly forming her own friendship with Winter, because there ARE things that Winter can give Yang, even if Yang can’t (or won’t) admit she wants them. it’s nice to try out being the kid sister, once in a while.
still, even if they get that far: i can’t imagine their relationship as anything friendlier than this.
¹ tbh neither would actually surprise me; what Winter does and doesn’t let herself do is only knowable to the Gods Who Have Forsaken This Land, and they’re certainly unknowable to Winter herself.
² maybe she knows that the whole “the Schnees were up-from-bootstraps-good-capitalists until that guy Jacques came along” thing is stupid!! i don’t care that he’s Santa Nicholas Schnee ain’t shit
³ this i think is why the current thing with Ironwood is such a bitter pill to swallow, because...she thought she’d been so careful. not in thinking that she’d chosen a man who couldn’t disappoint her, but in caring so deeply about him and investing so much of herself into him, despite the fact she’s only ever let herself call him “sir,” or “General.”
⁴ though i will say, to give Winter some credit: she actually accepts the fact that her sister is totally her own person now with a lot more aplomb than i’d expected, both in the “you stole an airship” scene and during all of Sparks. i wouldn’t be so generous as to read subtle treason into her disclosure of Ironwood’s Winter Maiden plans, but it does point to Winter’s desire for control being much more easily unlearned than that of her boss.
⁵ geddit? it’s a joke about handed-ness because now they both have the Hand Tremor
⁶ Tai is, as always and on purpose, the stabilizing agent. “appropriately underwhelming,” as Winter might put it, but absolutely essential.
⁷ of course then Raven had the gall to resent THAT too, because she’s the worst, and...see above, about Winter Schnee’s self-unknowing.
⁸ curiously, the values that Yang most espouses now--the importance of knowing what you’re getting into, protecting what is tangible, what is within your ability--are a) hard-won from years of taking care of Ruby and b) ones that she shares with Raven. the only difference is that Yang’s circle of protection extends far beyond Raven’s, which only includes herself.
⁹ weirdly enough the best person to talk to Ruby about this might be Raven, who has a very skewed perception of Summer herself (because Raven’s perception of EVERYONE is generally fucked up), but probably won’t hold back when talking about Summer’s flaws. Ruby won’t want to hear any of it, but i think she needs to.
¹⁰ i do think Blake and Winter would have some interesting conversations, if Blake ever...was generous enough to deal with *gestures at all of Winter.* it’s easier to compare Blake to Willow given the shared nature of their interpersonal abuse, but Winter on the other hand knows what it’s like to be hand-picked and groomed by a charismatic man with a singular vision who ended up wholly compromising that vision for the sake of their personal ego. that the White Fang are a good force perverted while the Atlesian Military is rotten to the core would...make the conversation more lively? it’s probably fine?
¹¹ “i’m Winter Schnee and i have maladaptive coping mechanisms that i am currently clinging to, as a maladaptive coping mechanism”
¹² though there...probably IS a world where Raven and Winter end up getting along after the initial skirmish, and it disturbs Yang and Qrow to no end
#Anonymous#yang xiao long#winter schnee#rwby#tl;dr they both play vanguard when they play mass effect#helen writes meta
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Hmm…
It’s true that Seb removed the glove from his left hand before setting Kelvin’s lair ablaze in Chapter 34, and we never see him don a replacement. This panel below from Chapter 35 solidifies that point, clearly showing that his degloved hand remained bare after he walked outside, at which point butler and master ran into Doll.
Comparing the above panels with Doll’s flashback in Chapter 195, Sebastian’s left hand isn’t visible in the top half, but it’s unambiguously shown in the next shot due to the contact seal on the back. And, with a dramatic flair worthy of the most bombastic theater major, he’s pulling off a glove that shouldn’t be there.
Why the inconsistency?
1. Artistic error? Even a talented mangaka with a whole team of assistants like Yana isn’t infallible, and this wouldn’t be the first time she goofed. For example, I’m pretty sure that she initially forgot to draw Vincent’s mole when O!Ciel stumbled upon his parents’ corpses during the twin reveal flashbacks. Plus, she’s a busy woman; in addition to cranking out monthly Kuro chapters, she also dedicates a considerable portion of her time to The Mouse 😭 (though I respect that Yana’s gotta get her bag somehow). It’s possible that she and/or the assistant(s) helping her with this chapter just didn’t catch the mistake, and got so caught up in drawing Sebas’s iconic signature move he likes to flaunt before making a kill (one hell of a drama queen), that no one remembered he’d already dropped his left-hand glove in the ritual chamber.
2. Deeper meaning? However, let’s assume that this was an intentional choice on Yana’s part. If so, we next need to consider whether the magical reappearing glove makes sense (as much as anything is logical in the Kuroverse) within the context of this story.
Frankly, it seems out of character for O!Ciel to leave loose ends dangling when wrapping up a case, particularly a new enemy with ample reason to seek vengeance. It’s also in Sebastian’s best interests to summarily dispose of any threats to his young lord rather than settling for half measures. That being said, O!Ciel was left shell-shocked and deeply rattled after the incident with Lord Kelvin triggered his PTSD. Regardless of his descent into evil, the boy hasn’t fully extinguished his softer side, and the Emerald Witch arc revealed that Doll was among the casualties of his quest for revenge who left a lasting impression. Therefore, it’s within the realm of possibility that he might have ordered Sebastian to spare her and let her go free (though this is contrary to my personal opinion). Hypothetically, Undertaker could have swooped in at this point to take the girl under his wing, tampering with her cinematic records to exacerbate her hatred of the little earl. But this would be contingent on an ability to edit the cinematic records of the living. I might be forgetting a key piece of info (please correct me if so!), but hasn’t this procedure only been performed with the memories of the deceased? After all, that’s how Undertaker creates the driving impetus for his bizarre dolls to function! Besides that, even if O!Ciel did show her clemency, I highly doubt Doll could ever forgive him—not when the Watchdog and his servants are directly responsible for the deaths of her entire family. Undertaker likely wouldn’t have to do much coaxing to get her to join R!Ciel’s team.
I understand why Yana’s caginess about what exactly Sebastian did (or didn’t) do to poor Doll gives cause for suspicion, but I would argue that this fits into the broad structure sensei’s adhered to in the previous blood collection facility arcs. Toboso didn’t provide all the information about the antagonists up front. For example, we didn’t know for certain what happened to the missing maids of Heathfield Manor, or that Jane was a highly skilled private soldier, until the climax of Mey Rin’s and Ran Mao’s investigation, just like we didn’t learn the full story about Ada’s motives or receive confirmation that Layla was a bizarre doll until near the end of the sanatorium arc. It makes sense to me that Yana would take a similar approach to Doll’s flashbacks, as well. That seems more appropriate for a dramatic revelation scene, when the tension is at its peak, than this early in the game, especially when Doll is presumably fudging the truth.
Given the ruthless treatment those who oppose our earl typically receive…and how Undertaker was circling around the site of the fire like a hungry vulture…and Doll’s very name…at least for now, I’m standing by my current theory that she was killed outright by Sebastian and subsequently turned into a bizarre doll, and that the oddities in the 195 flashback panel might have arisen from a careless blunder.
Sebastian's a DILF in this chapter damn!!
He’s giving us flowing locks and luscious lashes! A devilish gaze and a carnivorous fang peeking out that betray his inhuman nature but merely enhance his otherworldly beauty!
And, most importantly of all,
Hands
#kuro spoilers#kuroshitsuji spoilers#kuroshitsuji 195#kuroshitsuji#tw blood#just my thoughts though!#I’ve certainly been wrong before 😅
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Explaining the Iceberg #4
I covered most things in this, but not everything. Every previous post I’ve made describing the tes iceberg I found on google image search can be found here x
Lorkhan’s purposeful failure: Lorkhan was the first spirit to go beyond the universe to see the tower, but didn’t achieve CHIM. He likely did this on purpose to show others how not to do it, and to demonstrate that it was difficult for et’ada to achieve this state because they simply don’t have the boundaries (such as death) that mortals do.
The World-Egg: The universe and the 12 previous Kalpas, everything within existence
The Khajiit Tower: this reddit thread https://www.reddit.com/r/teslore/comments/3oh7wf/the_khajiit_tower/ for everyone’s sake i’ll spare you the details of Jungian psychology, TL;DR the khajiit are a ‘tower’ made to hold up the universe and aspects of this
The Grabbers: Mentioned in the 36 lessons, a race of people in Lyg who are said to ‘have never built a city of their own’ there are theories that these are in fact Magne-Ge, due to their connection to Lyg by Mehrunes Dagon
AE: ‘is’ in ehlnofex, can be interpreted as a state of being
Shezzar became Akatosh: The only solid reference i could find was this thread, that immediately discusses how this is probably incorrect http://www.gamesas.com/could-lorkhan-have-jyggalag-t74581-25.html
The Monkey-Truth: Markuth’s teachings, also a website of tes fanfiction writers and roleplayers
Red Moment: The potential Dragon Break at Red Mountain
The Provisional House: Mentioned in the 36 Lessons, called ‘a space that is not a space’ that Vivec observes the events of Nirn from. It may possibly protect Vivec from dangers associated with this.
Alandro Sul: The Shield-Companion to Nerevar. Sometimes called ‘the immortal-son of Azura’. After being blinded by Wulfharth, he went to live with the Ashlanders of Vvardenfell and is credited with spreading the idea that the Tribunal killed Nerevar
CHIM: To put simply, the process and state where a person realizes their place within the universe and is able to manipulate the laws of the universe as they see fit. Often associated with the concept of ‘Love’
Skaal Secrets: Discussed in the Dragonborn DLC, it’s unknown what their secrets are, but the Skaal report that they’ve kept them a secret from Hermaeus Mora for generations
The World’s Teeth: Mentioned in the 36 lessons of Vivec, sermon 17. Vivec takes Nerevar to the edge of the world, where they see ‘the bottom row of the world’s teeth’ as Vivec states. This may possibly reference a glitch in Redguard. (as a side note: The Legend of Zelda Breath of the Wild, a game that’s confirmed to have taken inspiration from the Elder Scrolls, has an area on the map, near the edge of the world with a row of spikes similar to what’s described here. This might be just coincidence, but I sure enjoy it)
Dagoth Ur’s Endgame: Speculation on what Dagoth Ur’s final plans actually are. He speaks of his desire to remove the Empire from Morrowind, and unite the Dunmer under the 6th House, but beyond that there’s little to go off of. Ultimately this is just speculation and theories, mostly on what he plans to do with the Anumidium, and how that could possibly have adverse affects on reality.
Pelinal Cyborg from the Future: Another bit of obscure MK lore that’s not implemented in-game. This derives from the description of Pelinal having a ‘left hand made of a killing light’ ‘PELIN-EL [which is] "The Star-Made Knight" [and he] was arrayed in armor [from the future time].’ and his survival of being decapitated. While the text directly states he is from the future, there’s no ingame canon text stating he is a cyborg.
Reymon Ebonarm is Reman: The thought that Ebonarm, a God of War is the same person as Reman, emperor of Cyrodiil. There’s several theories dedicated to this, with different variants on the specifics.
The Enantiomorph: Directly tied to the concept of mantling and the Fourth Walking Way. Put simply, there are three participants in this. Two combatants who are very much alike and trying to become the ‘Ruling King’ and an observer who determines who wins, this observer usually becomes maimed as a result of this.
The Third Moon: Two different things, a metaphorical or literal secret moon important to the Khajiit that only appears when Masser and Secunda are aligned, preceding the birth of a Mane. The second option is the Necromancer’s Moon, the godly form of Mannimarco.
The Walkabout: A concept in Yokudan religion. The process of spirits surviving one Kalpa to the next, facilitated by Tall Papa
White-Gold Doomsday device: I remember reading this theory a few years back, unfortunately I cannot find the exact page for the life of me. The Tl;DR on this is the White-Gold Tower is a weapon of mass destruction, either literally or in metaphysical terms (being connected to Akatosh and it’s status as a Tower). The closest thing I can find to it is this thread which describes the motives of Umbra in the novels, and how it could potentially take over Tamriel using the White-Gold Tower http://www.gamesas.com/doomsday-scenario-t69430.html
Jiub was the Nerevarine: Self explanatory, headcanon that Jiub was the Nerevarine, similar to a headcanon on tumblr that stated Teldryn Sero was the Nerevarine
House Dwemer: Mentioned as a House within The War of the First Council (which is written by an Imperial for Western Scholars) and The Lost Prophecy (written by a Dunmer) This could be interpreted in a couple different ways. A) The first book was certainly written for western readers, while there is no evidence for this being the case for the latter, it can’t be ruled out. ‘House’ is used as a simplification B) The Dwemer were considered a house, but perhaps not in the way we would initially think (being on the Great House Council) They were grouped into a singular entity, rather than distinct clans within a cultural group (either during the First Council or posthumously)
When Dead Gods Dream: https://www.imperial-library.info/content/when-dead-gods-dream referencing this thread. Discusses the mechanisms of Dagoth Ur’s godhood, the thread explains it better than I can here, TL;DR Dagoth Ur is not alive, but he is within the realms of gods and therefor is able to ‘project’ himself onto Tamriel and the minds of his followers.
Khajiit ended the Metheric Era: Nothing found for this
Parabolic Kalpa: A parabola is a symmetrical U-shaped curve. This theory essentially tries to explain why Skyrim is so low magic, compared to it’s history or even ESO. The thought is that as time goes on, the world becomes less connected to Divinity. Towers are destroyed and the gods are gone, but eventually things will begin to kick off again, and there will be a rise in magic, technology and the connection to these beings. Essentially tries to explain why C0da and Loveletter from the 5th era are more high magic compared to the actual games.
Sithis: Secret Lesson from Vivec: Connects the both Sithis with the 36 lessons by terminology (The Sharmat, false dreamer ect.) and proposes Vivec may have written the book
Bendu Olo: Colovian King, may have been related to Olaj Olo, nordic demigod of mead. Also used as a placeholder name for the player character in Oblivion and the name of the dev’s test character in Skyrim
Trinimac still lives: An ESO lorebook states the Ashpit, realm of Malacath, extends into Aetherius. Some orcs also believe Malacath is nothing more than a demon presenting himself as the remnants of Trinimac. A r/teslore theory states that Malacath wears two faces. While I assume this is the Iceberg author’s sole reference, I propose this could (should) refer to another theory. (Another theory is similar to this on teslore, proposed around the same time, but this one connects the dots) https://boethiah.tumblr.com/post/621058598373588993/tsun-is-the-shield-brother-of-shor-and-trinimac
The Aedra are Dead: Seemingly a common topic on teslore. A basic concept in tes, the Aedra gave most of their powers to Mundus to stabilize it. Their bodies remain as planets, and they can only have limited interactions with Nirn.
Divayth Fyr was the Hero of Battlespire: An old theory that looks at artifacts in Divayth Fyr’s possession and ties them back to the tes spinoff Battlespire. There are holes in this theory (Divayth Fyr was a seasoned mage at the time the hero was an apprentice)
Three Talin’s: The default name given to the Eternal Champion is Talin, a character creation scenario proposes that their father was also named Talin, and finally Uriel Septim VII’s general was named Talin Warhaft.
Pelagius I was killed by the Underking: The Arcturian Heresy states that the Underking appeared as an advisor to Pelagius I, who was assassinated by the Dark Brotherhood. This theory is a possibility considering the amminosity between Tiber Septim and both components of the Underking.
Tsaesci Goa’uld: Goa’uld are a species from Stargate that are parasites towards humans. This theory proposes that the Tsaesci are similar, explaining the inconsistencies of their appearance within the lore.
Lunar currency: The thought that the Aedra and Daedra use mortal souls like currency
Historic Star Inconsistencies: Possibly referring to the variations of the number of days within the year in Arena, not sure about this one
Mnemoli/Star Orphans:Mnemoli is either a specific Magne-Ge (spirits that fled the creation of Mundus after Magnus), or a group of them that only appears during a Dragon Break (often nicknamed the ‘Blue Star’) MK states that they’re the writers and distributors of the physical Elder Scrolls (however this contradicts ingame books, so take it with a grain of salt). Star Orphans may or may not refer to Magne-Ge as a whole. Vehk’s book of hours state's them as a ‘group or tribe’ regardless, Mnemoli falls under this secondary classification (along with Merid-Nuda and Xero-Lyg, I have my own thoughts on this which would be better explained in another post)
Bosmer Hircine worship: Seemingly referring to a thread on 4pleb, I will not be summarizing this theory here because I’m smart and not going onto 4pleb of all places. But from canon content, Bosmer do not worship Hircine, and consider him a force that goes against Y’ffre and wants to return everything to it’s original state of chaos before the earthbones (Y’ffre being among them) stabilized things
Septimus Signus Zero Sum: The theory that the aforementioned zero-summed at the end of Discerning the Transmundane in Skyrim. Essentially Septimus is in a fragile state, delving into the secrets of the universe and is being pushed by Hermaeus Mora, who may see him as a lab rat, into discovering things he isn’t meant to handle as a mortal, and consequently Zero-Sums. There’s holes in this, namely Zero-Summing supposedly removes all trace of existence.
The Soft Doctrines of Magnus Invisible: A very obscure text by Douglas Goodall, discusses the binding of various gods
Abnegaurbic creed: An overly fancy word basically meaning religious beliefs, seen in Nu-Hattia Exerpt
Dunmereth: A Nordic term for the area of Morrowind, during their occupation of it
Fifteen-and-One Golden Tones: A Dwemer term, possibly referring to the spheres of the Daedra, counting Sheo/Jyggalag as a singular entity. Also, the Dwemer swear by these
Ideal Masters are God of Worms remnants: As Mannimarco is often said to be the first Lich, the existence of the ideal masters seems to contradict this (similar story with Azidal) this tries to rectify this by proposing that the Soul Carin is the Necromancer’s Moon, and the ideal masters are remnants of Mannimarco. This theory doesn’t hold up when examined, but is cool nonetheless.
Sermon 37: Found in ESO, an extra sermon to the 36 lessons, ties in concepts present in c0da like amaranth. (interestingly on this list Sermon Zero is never mentioned, despite it being older and more interesting imo, but to discuss that would require lots of work)
Flying Whales: Mentioned in Aldudagga. A now extinct species. The bone bridge of Sovngarde could potentially be a reference to this.
Joy-Snow: It’s cocaine
Mankar=Tharn: A theory that Mankar Cameron is Jagar Tharn, doesn’t hold much weight and relies mostly on the connection of Mehrunes Dagon
Sharmat: A term used to describe Dagoth Ur, an opposite to the Hortator, a force uniting people for evil. Implied to mean or be associated with ‘the False Dreamer’ a person whose view of the universe is similar to someone whose achieved CHIM, but sees themself as the center of it all, rather than a droplet in the ocean of the universe.
Pankratosword: A forbidden Yokudan sword technique that could ‘cut atoms’ similar to our modern day Nuclear Fission. A bit of etymology here, ‘Pankrato’ seems to refer to the word ‘Pankrator’ meaning all-powerful or almighty.
Landfall: A concept from MK, a future event where Nirn is destroyed by the Numidium, and the people remaining relocate to the moons.
Cylarne: The oldest ruin in the Shivering Isles, rumored to be the original capital. Home to the Cold Flame of Agnon
#long post#tes iceberg#that picture of vivec is how i'm feeling after 12 hours of studying for my final and writing this
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Reggie//i can't let you go now that i got it
Request: your last reggie mantle imagine was soooooo cute it was.... BIG FAV i'm still grinning! could you please do one where reader and reggie have been best friends their whole lives? she's super protective and sweet to him and like? she's been in love for years but has been hiding it well?? she gets him to come away with her to college because 'screw this town' and they live together? but eventually she starts going on dates and it makes him realize he's in love with her too?? mutual love confession
hey! so before you go any further trigger warning mentions of abuse, specifically around reggie and his dad. it’s not in detail but it is mentioned a few times so don’t read if that upsets you. the last thing i want you to be is sad. i hope you all have a good day anyway, whether you’re reading this or not! (title is from Børns ‘electric love’)
- For 18 years
- Reggie Mantle has been the only constant in your life
- Even when you were babies he was there
- Your mom’s sat beside each other in baby class, cooing and awing over each other’s kids
- All while 6 month old you stole 6 month old Reggie’s toy
- And then he cried so hard he vomited on not only himself but you as well
- Which then made you cry even louder
- And then your mom’s were asked to leave
- So instead
- It became a weekly thing for your mom to take you to The Mantle’s
- While her and Mrs Mantle gossiped and drank tea
- You and Reggie would hit each other with various stuffed toys.
- As you got older
- The weekly visits turned into daily ones
- Especially when you moved three houses away from him
- You and Reggie started to see each other more than your own parents did
- Your mom still went over once a week
- But when she arrived you were always usually there
- Either stood in the kitchen getting a snack
- Or lying on Reggie’s bed watching an awful movie he just ‘had to show you’
- They usually involved a hybrid of two animals
- Sometimes mythical, sometimes not
- But in all of them they were usually taking over the world
- They also always had the same four actors in
- But despite how much you protested
- ‘reggie? are you being serious? we watched this one last time.’
- ‘no, we watched molemaid last time. this is medusamaid. they’re completely different’
- ‘oh, sorry. my mistake’
- You actually secretly loved them
- Because they made him happy
- You would watch in awe as he laughed at stupid jokes
- And how his eyes would always light up at a particularly gruesome part, no matter how badly CGI’d it was
- You also listened to the countless of theories as to how ‘hurrik9’ is clearly the prequel to ‘hellhounds’ because ‘they’ve got the same main character! it doesn’t matter if they’re not played by the same person. y/n, they’ve got the same name.’
- You also listened to him complain about the inconsistencies between ‘werewombats 1’ and ‘werewombats 2’
- ‘no matter how much the director stands by the decision to make them turn on each other, despite the first film clearly stating that that’s the last thing they’d do.’
- But the thing you loved the most about it
- Was that he was only ever this way with you
- You’d been sworn to secrecy when you walked in on him watching ‘dinocano vs uniquake’
- And you promised never to tell anyone about his secret passion
- Or the fact that he had a stack of notebooks filled with plots and mini scripts for his own films.
- Reggie may have gotten popular
- But to you, he’s still the same Reggie you’ve always known.
- Whose scared of clowns but won’t admit it
- And cried when watching Edward Scissorhands but if anybody asks it was you
- And who hates hot chocolate, but its the only thing he’ll drink when he’s sick
- He also only eats pink marshmallows in months ending in R
- And white ones every other month
- But in December he has both...because its Christmas.
- Yeah, you and Reggie are best friends
- Always have been, always will
- But it doesn’t stop you from wanting more.
- It doesn’t stop the longing looks when you think no one is watching
- Or the lingering touches whenever he hugs you
- It doesn’t stop your heartbeat picking up whenever he walks into a room
- Or how you forget how to breathe whenever he looks at you
- You look forward to everyday, even if you have a pop quiz or homework you only remembered the night before
- Because he’s going to be there to make you smile
- Even if he isn’t doing it on purpose
- You look forward to the countless of texts he sends
- No matter how weird or ridiculous
- Like when he text you at half three in the morning to ask if birds were real because somebody told him they weren’t.
- You then got a text straight afterwards telling you that it would be great idea for a plot
- And you still answer every single one
- No matter how stupid they are
- It’s really a wonder how you get any sleep with your phone being on loud all the time
- But it’s worth it
- Especially when you get texts like
- ‘he’s done it again’
- Reggie’s relationship with his father complicated to say the least
- You remember when you were younger they used to be best friends
- Reggie idolized him
- And you’d have conversations in Reggie’s tree house, about how much he wanted to be just like his dad when he grew up
- But when he did grow up
- And started to develop a personality that didn’t just revolve around football
- Reggie no longer wanted to be just like his dad
- He wanted to be the furthest thing from him
- The first time it happened
- Reggie tried his hardest to hide it from you
- And for the first time in 8 years
- You went two days without seeing each other
- On the third day though
- You’d had enough
- So you went round to see him
- But when you asked his mom if he was in
- She lied and told you he had just gone out
- Even though you could clearly see him trying and failing to hide on the stairs
- So you did what any normal friend would do
- You climbed through his bedroom window
- With about as much grace and steal as you could muster
- Which surprisingly, wasn’t a lot
- And you gave him the fright of his life
- ‘what the hell are you doing here?’
- ‘you’re avoiding me’
- ‘i’m not. i’ve just been...busy’
- ‘doing what? fighting?’
- ‘what?’
- ‘your eye’
- ‘oh yeah...that’
- That was when you knew something was wrong
- You’ve known Reggie your entire laugh
- And you know the three things he’ll always boast about
- Girls, football and fighting
- ‘what happened?’
- When he told you
- You couldn’t believe what he was saying
- You wanted to find Marty Mantle and give him a black eye...see how he likes it
- But Reggie begged you not to do or say anything
- ‘it’ll only make it worse’
- ‘but its wrong. he should be locked up’
- ‘who’s going to believe me?’
- ‘me’
- ‘see...it was only one time anyway’
- So you agreed, reluctantly
- And you so wanted to believe it
- But then a few weeks later he turned up to school with a bust lip
- A month after that another bruise around his eye that he tried to hide behind sunglasses
- And by the time graduation rolled around
- Both of you had lost count of the sunglasses and excuses
- For three years he’d been trapped in a house with a father who thought hitting was the same as love
- And a mother who pretended it didn’t happen
- But now college was round the corner and that meant a chance for both of you
- Or at least thats what you thought
- ‘you didn’t get in?’
- ‘i didn’t get in.’
- ‘to any of them?’
- ‘nope’
- ‘reggi-’
- ‘it’s fine. my dad has always wanted me to work for him. i guess this will make him happy. even if i am the cleaner’
- ‘reg-’
- ‘please go’
- That summer was the longest one of your life
- It was even longer that the time Reggie had to get his appendix out and so you couldn’t hang out for a 3 weeks.
- For two and a half months
- You heard nothing from Reggie
- You text, called, DM’d and even E-mailed
- But you got nothing
- You went round at all times of the day to try and talk to him
- And every time Mrs Mantle answered and told you he was either out or busy
- Doing homework was her favourite excuse
- And Reggie has only ever done homework when you were doing the majority of it
- You even tried climbing in through his window again
- But he locked it
- So you watched every morning as he dragged himself into his dad’s car
- Wearing a stiff suit and a miserable expression
- No matter how hard you tried to get to him before the left
- How fast you ran or how early you got to his house
- They were always long gone before you managed to get anywhere close to him
- You missed the midnight texts about nothing
- You missed his stupid jokes
- You missed watching an entire room light up whenever he walked in
- You missed the way he made you feel, even if he was unaware of it
- You even missed watching his god-awful movies
- You just missed him
- And when he missed your leaving party
- That was the final straw
- At 7am the next morning
- You shoved the last of your boxes in the back of your car
- Said goodbye to your parents
- And drove away
- Three houses down the street
- Making sure your parents had gone back inside before stopping
- You sat outside for a few minutes
- Trying to think of what to do or say
- You knew his mom would answer the door
- And that you’d get the same excuses
- You also knew from the past few experiences that his window would still be locked
- So you threw rocks at his bedroom window in the hopes that when he’d check to see what it was, he’d leave it unlocked
- And he did!
- You watched from behind a bush as he hung his head out the window to look around
- His brow furrowed and hair messy
- Clearly he’d just woke up
- You couldn’t help the smile twitching at your lips
- You’d missed that face
- Climbing the window was a lot harder than it used to be
- Mr Mantle had taken the ladders away
- Another reason as to why he sucked
- But you managed eventually
- And you almost died only twice
- Which is good
- It’s better than three
- You landed on the carpet with a loud thud that made him jump half way across the room
- ‘y/n. what the hell are you doing here?’
- ‘it’s moving day. and i must say i’m very disappointed at the lack of preparation on your part. have you even started packing yet?’
- ‘it’s not funny y/n’
- ‘i know. do you see me laughing?’
- ‘i’m being serious y/n. just leave’
- ‘no’
- ‘what?’
- ‘the last time you told me to leave, i listened and i didn’t see you for two months, so no’
- ‘what about college’
- ‘what about it?’
- ‘it starts in three days’
- ‘i know. and if we stand here any longer we’re going to miss it. so get packed and lets go. it’s a nine hour drive and i’m not doing all of that alone’
- ‘you know i can’t go’
- ‘says who?’
- ‘my dad, every single college i applied for and me’
- ‘listen to me reggie. you are my best friend, you have been since we were babies. there’s not a part of my life you haven’t been in. do you really think that would stop at college?’
- ‘we didn’t spend the summer together’
- ‘and it was the worst summer of my life’
- ‘same...but that might have been because i was spending 12 hours a day in an office’
- ‘rude. but i’ll take it!’
- ‘i did miss you though. it was weird not seeing your face everyday’
- That makes your cheeks heat up and you have to force the flutter in your chest to go away
- ‘it always cheers me up’
- There it goes again and you want to claw at your chest until it’s no longer there
- Hope is a terrible thing to have when you’ve been in love with your best friend for your entire life
- ‘you always cheer me up’
- Oh dear...
- ‘i love you...a-as a friend. this summer has been the longest and most depressing for both of us. i don’t want to live the rest of my life like that. i need you reggie. so please pack your bags, say screw you to your dad and to this town and lets go’
- ‘what about money? where am i going to live?’
- ‘we’ll figure that out on the way there. just hurry up’
- And he did
- You and Reggie threw the majority of his belongings into any bag you could find
- He took all the money he’d been saving out of the poorly disguised fake plant
- And wrote a nice little note for his parents
- You also may have added a few choice words to it
- But what Reggie doesn’t know won’t hurt him
- And the two of you climbed into your car and never looked back
- The 9 hour car ride was the most fun you’ve ever had
- It was like you were trying to fit the entire summer you’d lost into those few hours
- It was filled with off key singing
- And stories of your summer
- His favourite being about Archie being tricked into going skinny dipping by himself
- You laughed loudly like nothing had happened
- And cried silently because everything had
- Thankfully when you arrived on campus, it was already night
- So you managed to sneak Reggie into your room
- And when you nervously told your roommate
- She just grinned at you
- ‘it’s fine, my boyfriend will probably be staying over a lot too’
- ‘oh, he’s not my boyfriend’
- ‘we’re not together’
- ‘...okay’
- She said with a knowing smile and you and Reggie shared a look
- And a year filled with adventures started
- Reggie got a job as a bartender with a little help from Veronica
- And you started your classes
- But nothing is ever easy
- At least not when it involves you or Reggie
- It turns out hiding a whole human is a lot more difficult that you anticipated.
- It involves Reggie squeezing into your closet
- And a whole team of people to get him to and from the showers
- But it was also difficult for another reason
- Because it was easy to hide your feelings from him when you lived in separate house
- But now you’re sharing a room
- And a bed
- And every time he would wrap his arms around you
- And pull in for a half asleep cuddle
- You’d forget how to breathe
- You’ve never been more excited to wake up
- Because he’d be all messy hair and parted lips with just a little bit of drool coming out of them that it would be cute instead of gross
- And when he said good morning in the same deep, tired voice
- You wanted to live in that feeling forever
- But then 2nd year rolled around and everything changed
- It all started when you moved into your own apartment
- You knew you had to but there was a part of you that hoped you could keep everything the same
- You found a tiny, two bedroom flat that you could both just about afford
- Reggie was so happy to have his own room
- ‘i won’t have to sleep next to you and your freezing cold feet anymore’
- ‘i’ll just sneak into your bed when your fast asleep and put them on you then instead’
- ‘i thought we were supposed to be friends’
- It took a few weeks to get used to an empty bed
- But eventually you started to sleep properly
- And it was quite nice to have your own space again
- It meant you could study without having to listen to ‘nighthawk nightmare’
- Honestly, you don’t really know what the plot of that one is
- But you’ve still seen it 7 times
- You may be in love with him but it doesn’t mean he can’t be annoying sometimes
- And you were happy with going back to admiring from afar
- Your heart can’t get broken that way
- In fact a small part of you thought he felt the same way
- That one glimmer of hope you felt a year ago
- Came back all of sudden
- And soon
- You became aware of the lingering touches
- And the gifts he’d buy you just because
- He also asked what you wanted to watch for your movie night
- And he’s never, ever done that unless you were sad or sick
- And even then, when you broke your arm a few years ago, he chose the film
- The way he looked at you suddenly felt different
- You would feel him staring, but when you would check he would always be scrolling through his phone
- And you’re sure the was a little bit of flirtiness in his tone whenever he spoke to you
- But just because you think you can’t be burnt if you stand far enough away from the fire
- Doesn’t mean that the sparks can’t jump out and get you anyway
- Because all of sudden Reggie started bringing girls home
- And every time you saw a t-shirt that wasn’t yours on the sofa
- Or a pair of shoes discarded by the door
- You felt yourself die a little
- After a few weeks of this
- Something in you snapped
- You’d spent the majority of your life pining after some boy who saw you as nothing more than a friend
- And sometimes a small part of you thought as just an escape route
- So you moped for a few weeks before deciding it was finally time to move on
- Reggie would only ever see you as a friend
- And that’s fine
- The only way to move on, is to move on.
- So you waited for the right guy to move on with
- And there were a few
- But none of them were right
- Until you met Daniel
- Sweet Daniel with curly brown hair and dimples
- Who studied history
- And spent his days sitting in the coffee shop on campus
- For a few weeks the two of you spent your short interactions stealing glances and exchanging shy smiles
- That evolved to small talk with flirty undertones
- Until finally he asked you out
- And you said yes
- And you kept saying yes to each date afterwards
- They were fun too
- He’d take you to museum's and on picnics and at night he’d pick you up and you’d go star gazing
- He would make you laugh when he’d tell you a joke
- And make you blush when he’s whisper in your ear while staring up at the sky
- But he wasn’t him
- And that killed you
- It doesn’t matter how many time he takes you to watch some unknown indie film thats supposed to be the greatest thing ever made
- It has nothing on standing outside the only cinema in town that’s showing ‘sharkcano vs tigerana’ in the freezing cold with Reggie wearing an absolutely ridiculous costumes that Reggie threw together last minute and somehow roped you into wearing too.
- But what hurt even more was watching how Reggie acted around you when you and Daniel started dating
- He looked hurt whenever he saw the two of you together
- And you would watch him roll his eyes whenever you mentioned him
- Until eventually he would just avoid you all together
- Do you know how hard it is to avoid someone when you’re living in the same 2 bedroom flat that barely gives two foot to yourself?
- It’s hard
- But Reggie finds a way
- Eventually you’re more roommates than friends
- And you really don’t know how much more you can take
- You feel like you’re about to break
- And Daniel can see that too
- So on Friday night he invites you to go drinking with him and his friends instead of staying in and moping
- ‘bye, i’m going out’
- ‘wait’
- The speed of which he runs from his room and into the living room where your stood, startles you to say the least
- ‘what?’
- ‘don’t go out with him.’
- ‘why not? what ever george has told you about is a lie. george does that. he once told a bunch of people that you streaked in an old people’s home and almost killed his grandmother’
- ‘because he isn’t me’
- You’ve dreamt of those words
- Built them up in your head for years
- But in all of your daydreams, there’s never been a scenario like this one
- Not one where you’re about to leave to go on a date with another guy
- ‘reggie? what are you talking about?’
- You need to make sure he’s saying what you think he’s saying
- Because you can feel yourself hoping again
- And you know if he doesn’t mean what you want him to
- You don’t think you’ll be able to recover
- ‘i love you y/n. you’re my best friend, you always have been, you always will be and i love you.’
- ‘reg-’
- ‘please tell me you feel the same way’
- ‘i-’
- In your head you had a full oscar worthy speech planned out just in case this ever happened
- But now you’re here in the moment.
- You have no idea what to say
- ‘it doesn’t matter. just leave’
- ‘no’
- ‘what?’
- ‘do you really think i’m going to walk away from you after that? when have i ever walked away from you?’
- ‘i-no’
- ‘i love you too by the way. if you care’
- ‘shut up...wait really?’
- ‘yes i do. i’ve loved you for as long as i can remember so are you going to just stand there or are you going to kiss me?’
- ‘i’m definitely going to kiss you’
- ‘good’
- And he does
- He’s standing in front of you before you can catch your breath
- His hands reach up to cup your cheeks
- His lips part as he stares down at you
- And you’ve never seen him look at anyone the way he’s looking at you
- Like you’re everything good and light in the universe
- And like he’s also been waiting just as long for this moment
- Maybe he has
- Maybe he’s been waiting all his life for this
- He just didn’t know
- You feel whatever breath you had left leave your lungs
- His lips are soft against yours, but he gets his point across
- And you’ve never been happier
- All the heartache and tears
- The laughter and stupid jokes
- The 3am texts
- The constant worrying
- The early mornings and late nights
- The damage to limbs from trying to fit in tiny closets
- And the scrapes on your ankles and bruising on your legs from crawling through his bedroom window
- They’re all worth it
- ‘are you still going on your date?’
- ‘what do you think?’
- ‘good. because they’ve just released werewombats 3’
#reggie mantle#reggie mantle imagine#reggie mantle x reader#reggie mantle x you#reggie mantle x y/n#reggie#reggie imagine#reggie x reader#riverdale#riverdale imagine
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Well... A few days out from the Terrible Awful™... things have settled (a little) in my mind & in my heart & - if I may - I wanted to share some hopeful & encouraging thoughts with my fellow Lizzington shippers... ❤️
The finale was awful. It was not what we expected or deserved & we feel rightfully betrayed. We were denied the Lizzington ending we always wanted, the fantasy we thought we would get, & the happy ending we should have gotten. After as long as most of us have been invested in this ship & show, it hurt us deeply. But, more than that & thanks to the behind the scenes drama, the finale was weirdly out of character in every way. And, while we don’t have much to console us, I think it is somewhat comforting that our heartbreak isn’t as simple as a sad ending or not having our ship canon. It’s more than that: everyone hated it. General audience members, D*ddygaters, K**nler shippers, Lizzington shippers - everyone (except maybe R*darina supporters but I refuse to entertain the helltheory so who cares.) I think the fact that everyone was shocked & angered by the finale is proof enough that we are justified in our feelings & that helps a little. Regardless of the BTS drama, there were other things they could have done & everyone is confused about why they chose to do what they did. We aren’t alone.
And listen, as the writers, showrunners, & TPTB, it is their job to sell their story. If they’re doing their job well, they should be able to convince the audience of their mythology, plotlines, & characters beyond a reasonable doubt. But I think it’s pretty clear that they’ve failed to do that. Whatever story they were telling in the beginning - whether it’s still the same now or if they decided to change it at some point - they have failed to convince us of it. Whether it’s a lack of consistency, lack of attention to detail, or lots of poor planning, they haven’t convinced us (or in most cases the GA either) of D*ddygate, R*darina, or that Lizzington wasn’t the original endgame. They haven’t convinced us of anything except this: they are floundering & have lost their grasp on the show & its story.
With these things in mind - the OOC nature of the finale & their overall failure to persuade us they know what they’re doing - I think it’s important to remember one crucial fact: the enjoyment of media is centered around interpretation. That has always been especially true with this show, as evidenced by the fact that the audience splintered into so many passionate subgroups, each convinced their interpretation was the only correct one (i.e. D*ddygaters, K**n2s, K**nlers, R*darinas, Lizzzingtons) And as Lizzington shippers, our enjoyment of this show & our ship has always been based on the assumption of certain mythology, plotline, & character relation - & we’ve certainly gotten our fair share of grief over it. The concept of interpretation is nothing new for us. So, whatever they chose to present as truth in the finale - especially the things that have no precedent in non-subjective canon - are equally open for interpretation &, in many ways, nothing at all of consequence was confirmed or denied in that finale, aside from perhaps the ending.
However, we have always thrived on creating more & different from the little & bad that we’ve been given, whether in the form of fanfiction, fanart, theories, headcanons, or simply our love for these characters & this ship. The fact that we’ve lasted this long tells me one thing: we are more than capable of taking what we like & ditching the rest. So, let’s do that with the finale. From the first half of the episode? Let’s take the Red & Agnes interaction, the fact that Red tells Agnes stories of a Russian princess, the fact that Liz couldn’t seem to take her daughter & leave him. Let’s ignore the abrupt & disturbing concept of assisted suicide & unnecessarily withheld answers. From the park fantasy? Let’s take those gifs & parallels & symmetry & run with them. Let’s ditch the preceding content, the background music, & the context. And from the last scene? Let’s take the fact that Liz still could not manage to harm Red & he was overjoyed, a love confession was implied if not imminent, & the fact that Red would still burn down the world to protect Lizzie - and let’s forget the rest. Because that’s not what happens to our ship - that’s not how their story ends. That was a weird, rushed, influenced, tragic character death AU that was presented by inconsistent, unconvincing, & OOC writing that is therefore open to interpretation. TPTB have proved through so many different examples that they’ve lost a grasp on the original concept of this show & by extension this ship, whether they meant to originally create it or not.
So, it’s up to us now. We can be sad about how things turned out, we can mourn the loss of the show as it should have been & the loss of our chance to see our ship canon. We have a right to be let down & feel sad & grieve bc it’s so suddenly & violently over. But guess what? We also have the power to recreate Lizzington as we want to see it. We can create different worlds & AUs & headcanons & a future that we - the audience - wanted to see, bc we have the right to do that. And we can do it together, in this fun, loving, welcoming community that is passionate about these two characters & their love. So, let’s accept the sadness & hold onto it for as long as we want to, even if it’s forever. The finale was an undeserved tragedy & we’re allowed to be sad for what was lost... but we can also rebuild, create, & enjoy what we know to be true: Lizzington is beautiful & worth holding onto ❤️
#The Blacklist#Lizzington#thoughts#8.22#mine#here ends my sermon#i shall cease my preaching#this is just a sentiment i wanted to express to whoever's planning on sticking around#bc i certainly am#i'll be writing fic & sharing headcanons & crying about these two for a long time#& i hope i'll have the friends i've made here with me to share in it#anyway i love you guys#i'll leave this pinned to my blog for a while#just so everyone knows my stance on things#was i utterly destroyed by that shit finale?#yes#am i still in shock that the show is over for us with little to no notice or preamble?#yes.#am i still in mourning?#absolutely.#will i be over it any time soon?#no#am i gonna let it stop me from shipping & writing for these two?#absolutely not#i'll be here for as long as y'all want me#& probably after that lol#so much love everyone#<3
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Hello! What are your thought on the invonsistencies with Jacob's memories? In the trial chapter with the Veritaserum Jacob seems to remember a lot from his time at hogwarts etc but in the most recent chapter he says he barely remembers anything about his dad (who must have left when he was 10-12). If it is Verucca impersonating as Jacob maybe this meant Verucca was in some sort of contact with Jacob in his time at Hogwarts? Or maybe Peregrine only wiped certain memories of his?
Hi there, hello!
Honestly, I don’t know what to think about Jacob anymore. Sometimes, it feels like he’s deliberately lying. Sometimes – like Jam City simply has no idea what they’re doing, so they’re retconning the story. And sometimes, I’m starting to believe that Peregrine is indeed messing with his memory.
I’ll start with the possibilities that you mentioned. If Verucca is indeed impersonating Jacob, I assume she does it from the moment we found him in the portrait. And that would mean, that Jacob was never trapped and that he was probably imprisoned by R. If that’s the case, Verucca wouldn’t even have to be in contact with him during his Hogwarts times. Peregrine could extract his memories through Legilimency, for example. Not to mention that R could’ve tortured Jacob or something. I mean, I really wouldn’t put it past them.
If we want to assume that it’s really Jacob, though, and Peregrine simply influenced his memories, I have to say that I feel it’s more likely that he added false memories and not necessarily wiped anything. Of course, it’s possible that he did both, but I simply prefer the idea of false memories because it can be applied also to my other theories (namely: the theory about Peregrine controlling Rakepick). I also talked more about this idea a while ago in this post.
Finally, I have to point out things which can be really explained only as Jam City changing their minds as they go. For example, in Y6Ch26, Jacob told us:
So, he’s basically saying that he got involved with the Cursed Vaults only after his expulsion and only because Rakepick promised him personal gain. In the recent chapter, he also said:
But none of it makes any sense because we know that Jacob was searching for the Cursed Vaults before his expulsion, and one of the reasons why he was doing it was because the students were getting hurt. Duncan died before his expulsion during their search for the Cursed Vaults. Another problem: if Rakepick approached Jacob only after his expulsion, it means that before that, they had to be getting instructions for someone else. Even if Jacob didn’t know their identity, why didn’t he say in the recent chapter: “Maybe our Dad contact me back then, but I didn’t know about it because they kept their identity hidden. The first person I talked to in person was Rakepick”?
And maybe the most frustrating in all of that is that MC doesn’t question any of that. So, how the hell we’re supposed to interpret it?!
Seriously, I can’t really answer your question because I simply don’t know. I still think that Jacob being the imposter would probably be the best explanation, but even that doesn’t explain why MC ignores these inconsistencies.
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Lin healing the bonds with her family hc?
Ohhhhhhhhhh anon you have opened up a WHOLE can of worms I have extremely strong feelings on this topic and most of them can be summed up with Lin Beifong is the Epitome of the older sibling parent trope. RANT INCOMING
Lin choosing to forgive Suyin has almost nothing to do with Suyin’s “apology” (or lack thereof). It occurs solely because Lin actively decides to be the better person in their relationship. She decides that having her sister and her niblings in her life is worth more to her than her grudge and her hurt. Which is saying something, because damn can Lin hold a grudge.
Su isn’t going to apologize; its not in her nature at all. She genuinely doesn’t recognize the need for apologies in anything. She doesn’t give them and never expects them from others. Lin knows this and decides to move on anyway.
Su did write Lin a letter asking her to come talk. Actually, she wrote several. Lin never opened a single one, determined to keep herself from getting hurt again. Its easier, especially when Su isn’t in front of her, to convince herself she doesn’t care.
Despite everything, Lin still hopes the best of her sister. Finding out that she changed her ways after being sent away, stopped with the petty crime and actually made something of herself, built an entire city and raised a pretty great family, comes with a level of relief- even if it wasn’t her to help Su see the error of her ways, at least Su was able to do so.
Lin doesn’t trust Su as far as she could throw her, especially after Su lies to her face to send Korra after Aiwei. She doesn’t trust Su to choose her to save over literally anyone else, and to be honest she has the older sibling complex that she just doesn’t have as much faith in Su’s bending skills as her own. That’s why her “I love you,” before drawing P’li’s fire sounds so much like a goodbye.
Speaking of differences in skill level, that fight between Lin and Su? Buckle your seatbelts motherfuckers I have THOUGHTS. Yes, its one of the most badass fights in the entire series, imo, but I’m gonna be real here. Su was winning. She had Lin on the defensive almost the whole time. But Lin was also at about 40% health- run down, emotionally strained, off-kilter from acupuncture treatment (which I agree with @dont-blame-it-on-the-kids was DEFINITELY not in Lin’s best interest that doctor was 100% paid off by the red lotus), and Su is taking advantage of it. If Lin had been at 100%, even like 60%, she would have WIPED THE FLOOR with Su and Su’s dancy-ass bending style. But she still held her own, even though she was literally breaths from passing the fuck out. Did you SEE some of those hits? There’s one in particular where Su hits her in the gut with a rock mid-air that physically couldn’t not have broken several of her ribs. Su’s behavior in this fight absolutely incenses me like how dare she fucking do that I JUST
All this being said I do really love Su as a character I promise.
Su’s base character hasn’t changed, but after going through the Red Lotus and Kuvira together, Lin does recognize that she’s changed in some important ways. She’s still self-oriented, but she’s not the selfish, bratty teen she was when she scarred Lin for life.
Likewise, after seeing the permanence of Lin’s scars and spending more time with her sister, Su realizes that she’s really hurt Lin. She sees how terrible she’s been to this woman who is willing to give her own life to protect everyone around her, Su especially, and actively tries to make up for it. Like I said, she doesn’t apologize with words, but tries to prove to Lin through her actions that she is going to be there for her. And the fact that Lin’s arm flickers toward her weapons whenever Su loses her temper? Su is so disgusted with herself over it that she nearly throws up the first time she thinks about it.
They’re not best friends, but they do become close. Both of their personalities mellow out with age, and they’re more understanding of each other. Su becomes someone Lin is able to talk to about some personal things, if not the extremely deep stuff. They have wine nights and Su sometimes sleeps over if she gets too tipsy. They both act a lot younger with each other, and Su is one of the only people who can snuggle up to Lin and get away with it.
Unless one of them is actively concealing their emotions (its usually Lin), they can read each other like an open book.
Lin remembers all of Su’s favorite foods and colors and activities and songs from childhood. Su realizes that she hardly remembers any of Lin’s and has a guilty meltdown to Bataar over it. He suggests that she pay really close attention to remember them now, and Su makes it her personal mission.
Despite having confronted her feelings of abandonment by Toph ages ago, Su can see that Lin not only feels abandoned but also feels like she’s the one who let their mother down, that the break in their relationship is her fault, not Su’s or Toph’s. She knows how glad she was to have Toph back in her life, even if inconsistently, and sees how much Lin wants their mother’s approval and marches into the swamp (and that’s saying something for Su, who isn’t exactly fond of gross swampy things) and drags Toph out to force her to some of Lin’s award ceremonies or other events, including her wedding to Kya. Lin doesn’t know it was Su’s doing.
“Mother Lin may have said she doesn’t hate you but she deserves more from you and spirits help me you are going to say the words “I am so proud of you” to her or I WILL tell Wing and Wei where to find you-”
Basically, Su’s main apology to Lin for all the years of pain and hurt she’s caused is to kick Toph’s ass into repairing at least some of their relationship. Its the most truly selfless thing she’s done in possibly her entire life, because she never tells Lin.
To be clear: NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF LIN HAD NOT ACTIVELY CHOSEN TO SET ASIDE HER PRIDE AND HURT AND FORGIVE HER SISTER. LIN WAS THE CATALYST- SU WOULD NOT HAVE PUT IN WORK TO EARN HER FORGIVENESS IF LIN HADN’T GIVEN IT TO START WITH. Su’s behavior in Zaofu was utter bullshit, it was not worthy of Lin’s forgiveness. She literally showed up and immediately drove a wedge between Lin and some of the most important people in her life, said horribly mean things to Lin, and used Lin’s illness as an advantage to beat the shit out of her. But Lin, strong, selfless, badass, incredible Lin who is so much more empathetic than anyone in that show gives her credit for, looks at all of that and forgives Su anyway. Its not unconditional, like I said the level of trust isn’t bone deep, but she does the legwork. And you know what, Lin deserves to have family that cares about her in her life. Her niblings adore her, and she eventually believes that Su is genuinely there for her. I will die on this hill.
I know this probably came across as incredibly disorganized and rambly. I’ll talk more about Lin’s relationship with the metal clan kids and/or Toph in another post because I recognize that I’ve gone down a fuckin rabbit hole but I have extremely strong opinions on Lin’s relationship with her sister.
#asks#lin beifong#suyin beifong#thats our lin#but shes a Cool Matriarch™️#do I have a little sister who reminds me of Su to a fuckin T?#am I projecting our relationship onto theirs?#oh most definitely#would I forgive her for just about anything if I saw she had made something of her life and was trying to do better?#yea#should i have to?#no#should lin have had to forgive su?#nope#lin is the ultimate Older Sibling as a Parent trope#she would do just about anything for su#I have SO MANY WORDS ON THIS OK#THIS DOESNT EVEN SCRATCH THE SURFACE#god sorry I super went off
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let's save the world
season two, episode six
five hargreeves x reader
summary: you attend a light supper with the hargreeves family- you’re confident to say it was a shit supper
warnings: cursing, the asshole reginald
word count: 4.5k
a/n: okay, i’m so sorry that this part took so long to come out (it’s also kinda short but that’s more because the episode focuses a lot more on the other siblings), at first i stopped writing for a week or two and then i kinda focused on requests because i didn’t want those people waiting too long, but hopefully i’ll be able to crank these out over the next week and finish the second season. which comes the question: when season three comes out, do you want me to continue this? it might be a while, and it will also depend if i feel like continuing, but i want to know what you want as well. thanks :) please enjoy
i’m also sorry if there are any inconsistencies. i realized i’ve had r go back to the cafe on multiple occasions when she said she wouldn’t be back- i went ahead and changed that. i might have to read through my own story to fix my mistakes 😪
after your drunken four person party at the hair salon, everyone went on their own ways to confront the issues they had so that they could have some semblance of peace before the six days you had were up.
you couldn’t exactly face your problem. it came in the form of a certain fifty-eight year old man that had fucked up both of your bodies, and you didn’t know where he was. sure, you could admit the problem and see that as facing it, but you wanted to at least tell five. you had no clue as to why.
for that moment, you allowed yourself to let it go. you were stumbling through the streets with the near empty bottle of champagne almost slipping from your grip. it was definitely a sight to see, one that would definitely be concerning to the passerby- only a few spared you a glance, though.
when you ended up at the cafe that you had missed, even after only being away for a day or two, you looked through the window from a few feet away. taking one last glance to the bottle, you quickly downed the remaining drink before tossing it into a nearby trash can and pushing through the door that rang a bell atop it.
stacy happened to be on shift, and when she looked over to see you, she had a smile at first- until she noticed your state. “y/n? what happened?”
waving your hand in dismissal, you push past the swinging gate. her face scrunches up as you move past her, “is that- are you drunk?”
with a shrug, you lean against the door to the back, only a push away from falling straight onto your back. “i’d like to think i hold my alcohol well,” you lick your lips, a small smile tugging your lips up, “it’s nice to see you again.”
before she had a chance to respond- to question why you were drinking, since she thought you to be a teenager, you had pushed through into the kitchen. you could walk to the stairs to the apartment with your eyes closed, and you nearly did. it was made a bit more difficult, since you were unable to balance fully on your feet, but you managed.
it only took you a few minutes to wrestle with the lock before you stumbled through the door and to the bed, falling onto the soft mattress, almost instantaneously passing out.
-
when you woke up, you had a killer headache, and you had to lay with your face in the pillow beneath your head- one that had a pool of drool sinking into the fabric, but you couldn’t care for that right now- for a few minutes to remember what you did yesterday that gave you the horrible ache. it came back to you slowly, and you sighed heavily as you sat up, running your fingers through your messed hair.
standing from the bed, you made your way into the bathroom, looking in the mirror hanging above the sink to fix you hair that seemed to have gone through hell, with how it had been messed up so severely.
you shook your head once you were done, fixing your shirt slightly and grabbing a pain killer before shutting the light off and moving to leave the apartment. your eyebrows furrowed when your gaze fell upon an envelope that looked like it had been slipped through the crack at the bottom of your door.
glancing around the small room cautiously, you slowly stepped towards it, snatching it up off of the wooden floor once you made it. it was plain, save for the circular golden sticker holding the flap closed.
you pursed your lips, hesitantly pulling the sticker off and pulling the card inside out. your eyes skimmed over the words written.
from the office of sir reginald hargreeves
to my pursuers:
i, reginald hargreeves, request the pleasure of your company for a light supper on the twentieth of november, nineteen sixty-three, at half past seven o’clock.
-1624 magnolia street-
dallas, texas
“shit,” you mutter to yourself quietly, the envelope drifting to the floor as you release your grip on it to scratch your scalp. glancing towards the calendar, which had previously been used to count the days you were stuck here alone, your eyebrows furrow. “that’s today.”
-
you make your way to the address listed on the paper, looking at the tall building once you finally make it.
southland life.
reading the card once more to be sure this was the place, you sighed softly and walked across the parking lot to get to the entrance, not sparing another look up as you walk through the door.
looking around as you make your way up polished steps, you stuff the now folded card into your back pocket. as you get to the elevators, you see that one is already opened, so you quickly walk over to get in before it leaves you behind.
when you look into the opened doors, you stop for a moment when you see five. “oh,” you stare at him for a moment. “you’re back.”
“yeah.” he motions to his side for you to actually step in, and you realize that you hadn’t actually done that yet, practically jumping inside.
you stick your hands in your pockets. “you usually don’t just up and go like that on me.” you point out his previous actions, indirectly questioning where he had gone that was so important to leave you behind.
“sorry,” he glances to the ground, and you could tell he actually was. “i-”
he was cut off by the sight of a hand stopping the doors just as they nearly closed, “wait up.”
it’s diego who steps into the small space next, and you all look at each other in surprise and confusion, before the rest of the hargreeves family files in, all glancing at each other. it ends with luther, who you have to move to the side for.
the doors finally close on all of you, and there is a silence that you know is from the anticipation of what exactly is going to happen. the numbers over the doors begin to light up, one by one, each letting a ding echo through the space.
after a few seconds, a stench fills the air that has your nose beginning to scrunch up as you try not to breathe in- everyone else notices the smell, and soon it’s realized that luther was the one who had caused it. “sorry.” he stared straight at the numbers, not looking at any of you, “i’m nervous.”
the doors take way too long to open, but when they do everyone is rushing out, covering their noses to avoid smelling it any longer.
when you enter the floor, a sign hanging from a pole supporting the roof tells you that it is a tiki bar- if it wasn’t obvious enough from the beachy decorations surrounding you.
“alright,” five is the first to get to the table, standing by a seat surrounding the circle. “when dad gets here, i’ll do the talking, okay?”
it’s more of a statement than a question- you know that and you aren’t about to argue. the only thing you know about the man is what five told you when he was actually thirteen. that he was a man who cared for nothing but himself and creating a team that he could control. you believed it. it was hard not to.
“i’ve got a few questions for him myself.” diego tells him, and you know if he actually managed to ask any of them, this whole meeting would be over in an instant. he wasn’t exactly the calm and understanding type.
you shake your head as you turn to look at them, standing at the chair next to five, “we don’t want to scare him off.” you tell them, glancing over everyone, “he might be able to help us stop this new apocalypse and get home.”
the man isn’t so ready to cooperate. “no, y/n, we need to figure out why he’s planning to kill the president.”
“okay, this is a matter of life and death, you imbecile!” five argues back, and you can tell this supper is going to be a real shit show.
“okay, maybe we should take turns talking?” vanya suggests, everyone looking to her as she grabs one of the decorations, “alright, whoever has this conch shell gets to talk.”
you run a hand down your face. this family and their terrible communication. “vanya, we don’t have time for a debate, okay?” five tells her, already seeming to begin to lose his patience.
“maybe i should lead.” allison walks forward and takes the shell from the other girl, “we all know i’m a much better public speaker than the rest of you.”
diego looks at her from where he paces, “okay, daddy’s girl.” the jab is small, but you know it’s going to set off a lot. you look to five, your expression showing all of what you think. he just shrugs.
“oh, jealous number two?” the girl questions, raising an eyebrow at him.
the man moves around the table, “hey, no more numbers.” he glances around, “no more bullshit. we’re team zero.”
your eyebrows furrow in confusion. what is this crap? team zero?
“uh, diego.” luther speaks from his seat, “you don’t have the conch.” he motions to the object in allison’s hand.
you have to look down at the table to hold in your laugh at that.
the man gives a tight lipped smile, holding his finger up for a second before taking the conch from allison and... throwing it, letting it shatter against the wall.
you’re about to finally let your laugh out, until the door comes swinging open, reginald swiftly making his way to the table as everyone stares. he sits and everyone is silent as they take their seats as well, and you fidget with your fingers.
“you have not only burglarized my lab, set my chimp loose,” his tone is serious as he fixes the cuffs of his sleeves, “conned your way into the mexican consulate, repeatedly stalked and attacked me,” you didn’t realize how much you had really done until you had gotten the list from the old man, and you see that he has brought a notebook with him when he brings out a pencil. “but you have, on numerous occasions, called me...”
klaus is pulling a chair out next to him, a drink in hand. of course he had gone to the bar already. “hey, pop.” he smiles as he sits and leans back in the chair, “how’s it hangin’?”
reginald barely looks at him when he intrudes his little speech, his eyes moving to look around at all of you. “...dad.” you glance to your side to see how five’s doing, and as you had expected, he was annoyed. you could tell by the way his jaw had begun to lock in it’s place. “my reconnaissance tells me that you are not cia, not kgb, certainly not mi-five, so.” he places the pencil on the table, “who are you?”
everyone is silent, not sure exactly what to say, but five speaks up after a moment. “we’re your children.”
“except for me.” you cut in, holding up a finger just so he knew. you did not want to be associated with this man.
his gaze falls on you two as five takes a quick glance in your direction, “we’re from the future.” he continues as if you hadn’t interrupted him, “in nineteen eighty-nine, you adopted us and trained us to fight against the end of the world.” the old man looks around, seemingly not believing what he was saying. “called us the umbrella academy.”
his gaze continues to move around, “why on earth would i adopt six-”
“seven.” he is cut off by allison, “one of us isn’t here.”
diego is staring at the table, “dead.” he informs, looking up, “one of us is dead.”
“yeah, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba, enough of that now,” klaus speaks from his chair and you all look to him, slightly confused as he had turned to talk to what seemed like an empty space behind him. he turns back to the table, waving his hand in a silent sign to continue.
reginald laces his fingers together on the table, “regardless,” he looks away from who looked like a crazy person, “what would possess me to adopt seven ill-mannered malcontents?”
“we all have special abilities,” you lean forward on the table with a pursed smile on your face, “but, once again, you didn’t get me.” you wag your finger in the air, feeling the need to reassure that point.
“special?” reginald seems to ignore your second point, an eyebrow raised in interest, “in what sense?”
“in the superpower sense.” luther speaks from beside him, giving a small smile as he nods.
the old man looks to him, “call me old fashioned, but i’m a stickler for a pesky little thing called evidence.” he returns his gaze to everyone, “show me.”
allison picks up her drink, stirring it with her straw, “everyone wants to see powers all of a sudden,” she jokes, taking a sip.
“we’re not circus animals, okay?” luther informs him, “we’re not going to balance balls on our noses and... clap our hands like seals for your amusement.” he claps his hands together a few times. just as he finished speaking, though, a knife flies through the air, curving around reginald to stick in one of the wooden pillars.
it’s quiet as everyone looks at the knife, before reginald opens his notebook and begins scribbling something. everyone leans forward, “what are you writing?” diego questions quickly.
he looks up from the paper, “you are zero for two, young man.”
allison giggles into her drink, and diego begins to push away from the table to go after their dad. you try to stand and stop him, but five gets there before you in a flash of blue. “stop!” he whispers to him, his hands on his shoulders for a moment to keep him from moving any further.
you sit back down in your seat, and look to reginald, who seems impressed. “now, that is interesting.”
with a sigh, five moves away. “alright, quick run down.” he begins to move around the table, pointing to each person as he gives away their powers, “luther: super strength, klaus can commune with the dead, y/n can create and control fire, and allison can rumor anyone to do anything.”
“but she never uses it.” diego takes his seat again, and allison rolls her eyes.
looking up from her drink, she looks to him. “i heard a rumor, you punched yourself in the face.” his eyes turn white and his hand balls into his fist before colliding with his face, and you cringe as he groans in pain, holding his head in his hands.
as he curses in pain, reginald seems to ignore it as he looks to the woman sitting next to him. vanya. “and you?” he questions her.
“uh, maybe we don’t take vanya for a test run.” luther suggests, and everyone seems to agree.
she looks nonchalant about it. “it’s fine.” she says with a shrug, “i can handle it.”
she reaches for a fork, and everyone begins to try to stop her, “handle it?” allison questions with a raised brow, “last time you handled it, you definitely blew up the moon.”
when she doesn’t seem to be stopping to everyone’s protests, clinking the metal to her glass, all of you begin to push away from the table, but it’s too late when the fruit at the center of the table explodes, covering the table and everyone around it.
you look to your shirt in disgust. she couldn’t have done something a bit less messy?
she smiles in her seat, shrugging her shoulders as she looks to the table. “oops.”
allison presses her lips together as she gets another drink and switches her straw over. diego stands from his seat, leaning onto the table. “look, we know you’re involved in a plot to assassinate the president.” he speaks, and you roll your eyes at his continued insistence to save the president, as if that wouldn’t change the timeline one bit.
reginald looks to him. “you were recently hospitalized, correct?” you can’t help but to clench your jaw at the mention, “you still appear to be suffering from delusions of grandeur and acute paranoia.” his tone is matter of fact.
you look to five, who also seems to be knowing the direction this dinner was taking. south. plummeting into a near-erupting volcano that bubbled at the surface.
“am i?” diego pulls the picture of their dad in the grassy knoll out of his back pocket, reaching over the table to put it in front of him. “that’s you.” he informs, pointing to his figure in the picture, “that’s two days from now on the grassy knoll, at the exact spot the president is going to get shot.”
picking the paper up, he looks to him after inspecting it for a moment. “well...” he looks around before passing the picture back over the table, “i suppose you’ve solved it. you have single handedly unearthed my nefarious plot.”
diego looks at him, and you bite your lip. suddenly, you feel bad for him- mostly because reginald was a bastard that you could easily burn for everything he had done. “is that what you wanted to hear?” he questions, “you fancy yourself a do-gooder? the last man who will save us from our descent into corruption and conspiracy?” everyone is silent as he continues, “this is a fantastic delusion. despite the reality that you are a desperate man, tragically unaware of his own insignificance, desperately clinging to his own ineffectual reasoning. more succinctly, a man in over his head.”
he had sunk back down to his seat throughout his father’s speech, and you could see the tears gathering in his eyes. you look to five and he returns your gaze, and you can feel the frown that sets into your face. he sighs softly, looking down to the table as diego stutters his denial.
everyone is silent for another few moments, and you shake your head. “look, forget about the president.” you wave your hand as if to swat the idea out of the air, “we have a catastrophic war coming in five days. we need to figure out how to stop it.”
reginald looks at you. “war? men will always be at war with one another.”
“no, this isn’t just some war.” five tells him from beside you, his fingers laced together on the table that he leans on, “we’re talking about a doomsday. the end of the world.”
the old man looks at him for a moment. “well,” he says after a moment, raising his hands to motion to the group, “you’re the special ones, aren’t you?” he smiles, but you can see the sarcasm behind it, “why don’t you band together and do something about it?”
you all stare at him, until from the chair next to him, klaus’ hands fly up into the air and he begins to shake, choked gasps escaping him. “is he having a seizure?” allison asks in concern, everyone looking at him in confusion.
“overdosing, probably.” diego comments.
luther’s eyebrows furrow, “should we do something?”
“klaus!” five whisper-yells at the man as he leans over the table, “now is not the time! what are you doing?”
he slowly turns towards where you’re sitting, and you grimace as you see the vessels that are beginning to pop out from beneath his skin, his face turning red from his choked breathing. “i’m...” the word is barely there.
“out with it, boy!” reginald exclaims.
“ben!” after the word is spoken, he goes limp and falls to the ground, shuddering from where he lays on the wood.
reginald closes his book, placing it on top of some folders that he had also brought, “well...” standing from his seat, he tucks the things in the nook of his arm, “thank you all for coming. i’ve seen about enough.”
as he steps over the barely conscious klaus, luther watches, “no- i-” after a second, his hands slam down onto the table, making you flinch slightly from the sudden bang. he stands, ripping his button-up open, “look at what you did to me!” he seems distressed as he shouts, “look at it!”
five lets out a slight huff, falling back into his seat. “oh, shit. why?”
you bury your face in your hands, unable to comprehend how broken this family is. what is wrong with all of them? you don’t think you’ll ever know.
you look back up as reginald glances around before pointing to five. “you in the culottes.” the young-looking boy lifts his head to look at him, “a word, in private?” he doesn’t give him a chance to answer as he turns to leave, walking away from the family.
watching as five gets up, you fight for words but can’t manage to say anything as he leaves you behind. he seems to enjoy doing that these past two days.
“check, please.” allison holds her finger up for the waiter to end this shit show already. you don’t even wait for the paper to come, standing from your seat to get in the elevator ahead of them all.
the numbers ticked down as you stare up at them, letting out a soft sigh in the otherwise silent space. when the doors slide open, you’re left staring out into the hallway for a moment before you finally stepped out and left the building to be hit with the chilly night air.
deciding to stay a bit to possibly catch five on his way out you move to the side of the entrance on the sidewalk, sitting down on the cold concrete. you can see the cars waiting in the parking lot. you think one of them must be reginald’s.
a few minutes later the other siblings exit the building, and you watch silently as they begin to make their way away from the building- but diego and luther come to talk to you first.
“you’re not heading back to elliott’s place?” the knife thrower questions, raising an eyebrow at you as you look at him.
shaking your head, you pull your knees to your chest to get a bit more warmth. “i’m going to try to wait for five. i’d rather he not leave me behind for something important again.”
it’s quiet for a moment as the two nod, before luther claps his hands together. “alright, then. we’ll see you when you get back.”
you play with your fingers as they walk away and one of the car leaves- vanya had gotten in, so you assume it was her ‘farm frau’ as klaus had called her. the rest of the siblings quickly disappeared to... wherever they were going, and you were left alone (aside from the car that awaited reginald’s exit).
after waiting for you don’t know how long- maybe about twenty minutes or so- you see the flash of blue that signals five’s arrival and you quickly jump up from the concrete.
“oh, finally.” you sigh, brushing off your pants as he does the same with his uniform jacket, “it was starting to get too cold. what did the old man say? does he know how to stop this thing?”
the frown on his face tells you otherwise, and he sighs softly. “he didn’t help with anything. just told me what i already know.”
you run your fingers through your hair, staying quiet for a moment. “so, what do we do now?” the question almost makes you sound weak, and you hate it. you were just tired of having to save the world from something that you don’t even know.
“now, we make a deal.” he tells you, and you furrow your eyebrows in confusion, watching as he glances to the ground. “the handler told me she would give us a briefcase in return for a favor.”
you feel your shoulders slump slightly at the mention of the woman. “i can’t believe this.” you shake your head with a sigh, but you’re already grabbing his hand so he can flash you to wherever she may be.
when he doesn’t do it, you look at him with a raised eyebrow. he looks surprised, for some reason. “you’re not going to ask what it is?” he asks, wondering why you just blindly agreed.
“i trust you.” you shrug, and you yourself also find it incredibly stupid. the deal could be a death trap that you didn’t know about, yet you’re ready just because he thinks it will help save everyone’s ass.
after a moment of quiet, he nods. “okay.” he blows out some air, and you feel his hand tighten around yours slightly. “you should know, though. she wants us to kill the board.”
that is what really gets you. “the board? how are we even supposed to do that?”
“she knows when and where they’re meeting.” he tells you, and you purse your lips.
“alright.” you take a deep breath, “let’s make this deal before i change my mind.”
he nods, and without another second, you’ve appeared in front of the door of a room that looks to be in a very fancy hotel. you keep hold of his hand, not able to deny the nervousness that washes over you at this task. but you could do it. you were one of the best assassins, so what’s killing a few more people?
after five knocks on the doors a few times, they open to show a smiling handler. “ah!” she exclaims, and you can tell she had been waiting on the two of you. “just in time for a nightcap.”
she walks away from the door and you finally release his hand when you step in and close the doors behind you. “to be clear.” five speaks as the handler holds a cocktail out to him, “we take out the board... you get us all home. no doomsday, no apocalypse.”
as he speaks she had moved to the bed, laying on top of the covers on her side as she takes a drag from her cigarette. holding a paper up in the air. “that’s the deal.”
“we’re in.” you tell her before you can think any further, just knowing that this was a way to get home, the only way you knew of at the moment. if you didn’t take this, who knows if you would be able to stop this. the first time around you didn’t even stop the apocalypse, only escaped it.
when she waved the paper, you stepped forward and took it, unfolding the invitation. five looks over your shoulder. there’s a seal of a bird at the top, and you quickly skim over the words.
the lonely lodger inn
oshkosh wisconsin, 1982
taglists
main: @horrorklaus @megasimpleplan4ever
tua: @rasberrymay @noodlextrash @atomicpillar @malfovs @andreasworlsboring101
five taglist: @anapocalypseinmymind @five-hargreeves-official @insatiable-ivy @coffee-e-addict @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @colie-babi @flowertoty
let’s save the world: @aspiringwriter1 @thetrashypanda423 @lilacs-lavender @wow-lookit-all-the-fandoms @ohmyitsfaith @xplrreylo @fandomfreakff @onedollarduck @sleepygal124 @faith-quake @stripedchickens @youcandalekmyballs @pettyjayy @libidinexx @bts-chub @theoriginalkat @flowertoty @whenyouwantdeath @ot7purple @ purblerain @megasimpleplan4ever @whenyouregrungeaff @dumdumsun @malfovs @hxney-lemcn @frnks-stuff
#the umbrella academy#umbrella academy#tua#five hargreeves#five#number five#the umbrella academy x reader#umbrella academy x reader#tua x reader#five hargreeves x reader#number five x reader#five x reader#lstw#let's save the world
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Quiet (Midoriya/Reader) [part 2]
| A/n: I have to admit, I re-wrote the ending several times and I’m still not satisfied with it but here we go anyways! |
| See part 1 ... here |
✦✿ Warnings: Angst with a happy ending. ✿✦
✦✿ Words: 5500+ ✿✦
are you guys ready to c r y??
. . .
You stare blankly at a red and purple sky, eyes lazily watching the clouds roll by and the half-visible sun dip down and slowly set. You leaned forward to capture that perfect in-between moment, smiling as the last sliver of the sun finally dipped behind the horizon, letting the sky gradually shift from warm pinks and oranges to dark blues, indigos, and purples. You sighed and sank into a more relaxed position as your eyes welcomed the appearance of the moon as it took to the sky, washing the park in its gentle white light.
You sat at the same rotting-wooden picnic table you sat at every night, a familiar book with kitty skeletons draped in red and black across the cover sat just beneath your hand. The lukewarm coffee you’d picked up hours earlier sat right next to the book, half-empty from your lack of interest despite it being your favorite kind.
You’d even considered dropping by your dorm to throw it in the freezer—to beat yourself with later if you kept thinking about a particularly annoying green-haired boy—before coming here, but you found that you just didn’t want to be on campus more than you had to.
Being out and about decreased your chances of running into him.
You let your eyes stray from the steadily appearing stars and to your right, where Midoriya had sat just a few nights ago.
You let out a frustrated sigh, turning your gaze back up to the sky and raising the cup of coffee to your lips. It didn’t taste amazing right now, but it served as a good enough distraction to stop thinking about him. You’d done the right thing, whether you cared about Midoriya or not, you wouldn’t let yourself be manipulated. You would not come running back into his arms only to be forgotten when other things in his life became more important than you again.
It was better this way.
You told yourself, trying to convince yourself that you would only distract Izuku from his dreams. You’d only get in the way and end up broken again when he realized that.
You flicked the book open and skimmed your eyes over the pages. The illustrations of grim-themed yet still cute cats above each new chapter momentarily consuming your attention. Your soft smile faltered when you stumbled upon a particularly strange looking cat with wild, curly fur and huge round eyes cowering underneath a couch. Your eyes lingered on the drawing, everything about it just screams Izuku.
You shake yourself out of it and flip to the front page, breath hitching when you noticed a sticky note attached to it. It was in the handwriting of the clerk you’d grown familiar with. She often scribbled funny quotes or little notes things into the books you purchased for you to laugh about when you stumbled into the shop again.
He was here today, wanted me to slide this to you once you came in today. Not quite sure if he knows that ‘secret admirers’ are supposed to be discreet?
-Kiko ッ
You almost smile at that, not doubting for a moment who she was referring to. But then you knit your brows together in confusion when you noticed an arrow at the bottom of the note. Curiously, you unstuck the unusually heavy sticky note and flipped it. Your heart stopped functioning entirely when you saw a familiar bracelet taped to the back of it.
You gasped tearing the bracelet from the note and inspecting it closely. No way… there’s no way he even remembered this existed.
It was a colorful and cute bracelet with mostly green beads and white lettered ones spelling out ‘All Might.’
The sight of the bracelet brings you way back, and suddenly you are no longer outside at the park.
Instead, you are laying on your stomach with an impressive fort of blankets hanging above your head. Your small hands fiddled with the beads, tiny fingers slipping on each random-shaped bead you could find in your craft box that was remotely green in color. Across from you lays a much smaller Izuku on his belly with his nose buried in a comic book, eyes sparkling and lips noisily slurping at the straw of a juice box.
“Y/N-chan look!” The curly-haired boy squeals, shoving the comic book over to you and pointing at a panel of a very stylized All Might with multiple civilians draped over his shoulders. It’s a familiar frame from the video you’ve watched with the boy about a million times already. You personally didn’t idolize the symbol of peace as passionately as your friend, but it always made him happy, so you always watched it with him. You squinted, scrunching up your nose at the picture.
“They drew his hair wrong!” You complained pointing at the clearly exaggerated shojo-looking hairstyle the number one hero had been illustrated with.
“No, that’s just the artists’ style.” Little Izuku exclaims, standing up in the fort, proudly posing in his All Might one-sie, holding the comic book up into the air like it was Simba.
“Ohh,” You remember humming thoughtfully before returning to tying an s-clip to the end of the bracelet, looking your newest creation over with pride. You sat up too, looking anxiously over to your best friend who had engrossed himself back into the comic. “Gimme your hand.”
You vividly remember the young boy’s freckled face lighting up and his hand being shoved in your direction. You slid the way-too-big bracelet over his tiny wrist and looped it around a second time so it wouldn’t fall off. “Here, so everybody knows you’re the next All Might!”
His big green eyes overflowed with tears, almost flooding your blanket sanctuary and drowning you both in his own tears when he tackled you to the ground, hugging you tight. You remember him showing the bracelet off to all of his friends and Kacchan the next day. He wore it even more religiously than his hero-onesie, his mother even mentioning that he only took it off to bathe.
You recall your shock when a week later he dropped a similar home-made bracelet with your favorite-colored beads and your idolized hero’s name on it. It had been the first time anyone had ever made something for you and you cherished it.
“We match now, so that means we gotta become big strong heroes together when we get big!” You remember his high-pitched voice declaring with his best All Might impression.
You felt your eyes burn with salt and the telltale weight of tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, your fingers shaking as they clutched the bracelet. Despite how old the plastic piece of jewelry was, it was in outstanding condition--save for a few scratches on the bigger beads here and there.
You’d thought that he’d lost it or thrown it away a long time ago. It’s been years. How on earth did he still have this?
Feeling your breath start to quicken you shot up from your seat, grabbing the book from the table and dashing off towards U.A. You turned each sharp corner, narrowly avoiding crashing into several other students—including Bakugou who hissed and swore at you as you retreated to your dorm You shoved the door open and slammed it shut. The next fifteen minutes were spent digging through your stuff, looking through untouched boxes of your things you’d brought from home but never needed until now.
And then, you finally found it tucked away in an old pencil pouch. You pulled out an all-too-familiar bracelet, holding it up to compare to the green one in your other hand. There was no doubt about it, it was real. Your fingertips traced the familiar beads of your own bracelet, eyes flickering between it and its counterpart.
Why…?
Why did he keep it so long?
You kicked the box back into the closet and toed the door shut, tossing both bracelets onto your nightstand and flopping face-down onto your bed.
It didn’t matter. It was just a bracelet, nothing more than a flimsy piece of plastic. Nothing compared to the friendship you had. So what if he held onto some dumb bracelet? That didn’t make up for months of distance, weeks of him slowly forgetting you existed while you stood idly by. Letting it happen because you cared too much.
So why did you feel so guilty?
You groaned exasperatedly into your pillow snuggling your face into it when it started to soothe your headache. Your eyes opened suddenly with a furious glower when your stupid brain immediately thought back to the times you and Izuku would nap together when you were kids, anywhere anytime. You often played so hard you knocked yourselves out so his mom would find you cuddled up against one another in your blanket forts, on the couch, on the slide at the park, under the sink once… anywhere you could fit into and doze off, you would.
In fact, you didn’t shake the habit of napping together until you were at least thirteen, which is usually around when parents start getting suspicious so you stopped doing it. You felt a slight blush rise to your cheeks, remembering those special times in middle school when you would sneak in and sleep together for a while if one of you had a nightmare. That was most likely the most rebellious thing you two innocent little suck-ups ever did.
You sigh, eyes drifting over to the bracelets strewn carelessly across your nightstand.
How can one bracelet bring back so much nostalgia?
. . .
Midoriya was slumped miserably against one of the couches in the dorm lounge, pen shakily scribbling away at an assignment. His handwriting has gotten a little better since last year, still wobbly and inconsistent in places but his teachers have voiced their appreciation of its improvement. He thinks back to earlier when he had dropped off that bracelet at the bookshop, afraid that if he approached you, you wouldn’t want to see him or he’d start crying again.
It really tore him apart inside to part with it, having kept it for so long. He’d found the bracelet while looking through some of his things one day. It fell out of a box with a bunch of his older more beat up action figures.
Seeing it after being put away for so long had brought the biggest smile to his face, remembering how much he’d loved it when he was younger. It was also what made him remember you… It was as if you suddenly popped back into existence. And in excitement to share the memory with you, perhaps catch up with you over coffee, he had disregarded the fact that it had been months since you’d last spoken.
He now realizes his mistake.
But after last night he knew he didn’t deserve to have such an important piece of you to himself. He absentmindedly wondered if you still had yours… probably not, huh? His wasn’t as pretty as the one you made him, and why would you keep it after he practically ignored you for a year?
Still, he had hope that just maybe there was a chance he could make it up to you, that he hadn’t messed up so bad that you never want to speak to him again. Midoriya closed his eyes, frowning down at his notebook in shame. Who was he kidding? It was just a piece of plastic and likely held no value to you after what he did.
He misses it. Already.
“Midoriya.” Iida’s voice piped up and the green-haired boy jumped.
“Oh hey, Iida. Did you need something?” He asked, trying not to sound as worked up as he really was, forcing a small smile.
“I came to ask if you’d heard from L/N at all today?” Midoriya’s heart dropped at the sound of your name.
“No… why?”
“Well, it’s just that several students claimed to have seen her running obnoxiously through the halls earlier this evening and I was curious if you’d happen to know anything about it?” Iida asks, straightening his glasses with a displeased expression, clearly not amused by your behavior.
“No, I haven’t. Sorry,” Midoriya admitted sullenly, eyes downcast to the floor.
Iida’s eyes softened and the bluenette sighed, taking a seat next to his friend. Ochako and he hadn’t managed to get much out of the sulking Midoriya since the other night, but they suspect that things didn’t necessarily go well between him and you. Not to mention he’s been a zombie all for days, barely getting any sleep at all these past few nights
“And, as your friend, I am concerned about your wellbeing,” Tenya confessed, pushing his glasses up closer against his face as Midoriya sighed.
“I’m fine, Iida.” Midoriya offered him a half-smile but otherwise made no attempt to spill anything. Tenya made eye-contact with Ochako across the common room, who had been the one to encourage him to approach Deku in the first place.
“Midoriya, what happened between you and L/N last evening?” The Iida son pressed, cautious not to pry too much in fear of upsetting him.
“I messed up,” Midoriya looked down at his lap, a drawing of your face in the corner of his math homework. He abruptly turned the page in hopes Iida hadn’t already seen it. “Really badly.”
. . .
The next morning, Izuku is as sluggish and mopey as ever, worrying his classmates with his lack of enthusiasm.
“You should talk to her.” Todoroki’s cool voice shakes Midoirya out of his daze after homeroom. He’s been staring absently at you as you ignored his existence, focusing on the lesson. It isn’t hard to guess who the half-and-half teen was talking about. And yet he still found himself surprised.
“I’ve tried, Todoroki. Talking won't help.” Midoriya sighs, eyes dropping to his mess of notes, including several crumpled up drawings of you.
“And sulking around doing nothing will?” Todoroki questions, not able to recognize the shell of the boy in front of him.
“I messed up, and she wants nothing to do with me now.” And he respects that.
“Something tells me that isn’t entirely the case.” Shouto replies and the green-haired boy sends him a puzzled look.
“What do you mean by that?” He asks, a brow raised at the possibility that Todoroki knows something he doesn’t.
“You forget that Y/N and I are close friends now, although you haven’t necessarily been around so you may not have known at all.” He states bluntly and it does nothing to comfort Midoriya at all. He hadn’t known you and Todoroki were friends! What else did he not know about you?
“What are you getting at, Todoroki?” Deku asks with a defeated tone, wishing the stoic prodigy would just be out with it.
“Y/N tells me everything, don’t think she hasn’t told me about what happened a few nights ago. But when she spoke about you it didn’t seem like she didn’t want anything to do with you.” Shouto explained, definitely catching the young Midoriya’s attention. “She’s upset, yes, and you aren’t wrong to assume that she is angry with you right now. But the longer you wait to talk to her about it—if you planned to at all that is—the longer it will take for her to forgive you.”
Forgive him? Was that even possible at this point? He didn’t know, but if what Todoroki said was true, and he actually had a chance, he couldn’t waste any more time ‘sulking around and doing nothing.’
“Are you sure that’s even possible, Todoroki?” Deku questioned, eyes adept as ever as he searched the bi-colored eyes of his rival and friend for answers he may not even have.
“I don’t know for sure, Midoriya. That is up to Y/N.” Todoroki admits, and Deku bites the inside of his cheek still torn over this. “But I don’t think she will forgive you if you don’t try.”
“Mm.” Deku nods, thanking the two-toned boy and packing up for his next class of the day.
. . .
Your ears perked up at the sound of someone knocking on your door later that night. You sighed into your pillow, not wanting to leave its soft embrace. You tried to ignore it at first, pretending to be asleep but he insistent knocking continued. Grumpily you pushed off of your comfy bed to sluggishly open the door, thinking it was most likely Mina and she’d just keep knocking until you opened up.
You were not expecting Midoriya to be standing there.
“What do you want?” You asked, your voice holding no softness or enthusiasm ad your narrowed eyes stared coldly at your former best friend. He flinches at the icy tone of your voice.
“I-I um… can we… talk?” Izuku asks anxiously, wringing his hands together, elbows drawn in close to his stomach self-consciously. “Please?”
He meets your steeled gaze with his own apologetic one, green eyes pleading with yours. Izuku owned the most convincing pair of puppy-dog eyes you’ve ever seen, even when he wasn’t meaning to and even now you faltered.
“Why? Why should I let you in? Give me one good reason not to slam the door in your face and go back to bed?”
“B-because I w-won’t leave until I say what I need to say,” Midoriya stated as firmly as he could, a determined glimmer in his eyes as he did so. You don’t doubt that he might sit at your door all night if you refused him. “A-and I have a feeling you have some things to say too.”
He wants to resolve this.
“I have nothing to say to you.” You hissed stepping back into the threshold of your room starting to close the door but his hand smacks against the wooden surface, a desperate look in his eyes that only makes you push harder. “Move.”
“Please! Please just hear me out, Y/N, please just give me this! Let me try! You don’t need to forgive me. I just need you to listen!” Midoriya pleads, his glossy eyes already spilling hot tears down his freckled cheeks. He’s shaking. “Please…”
Midoriya stumbles forward when the door opens and he just barely catches himself, wide eyes darting up to yours as you take several steps away from the entrance. You cross your arms, you can’t believe you’re actually doing this.
“You have five minutes. Start talking.” You relent, sitting down on your bed.
Midoriya sighs in relief, closing the door behind him before clumsily scrambling over to you. You pat the spot next to you, avoiding any and all eye-contact. Izuku’s heart skips a beat when he spots his bracelet on your nightstand. So you did get it! His breath gets caught in his throat when he tries to speak at the same moment his eyes drift to your wrist, where a relic of your friendship dangles.
You kept it! He feels his eyes overflowing, the ugly fat tears streaking down the sides of his face as he stares dumbfounded at the familiar bracelet.
“You have four minutes.” You flatly remind him, and he jumps, trying to think of the words he’d practiced just a half-hour before he showed up at your dorm.
“AH—o-okay! um, I…” When he fails to speak even after a good minute passes, you sigh deeply. If he had nothing to say, why’d he even come? What happened to all that gusto about ‘saying what I need to say’?
“Why did you keep it?” You ask out of the blue after an uncomfortable silence and his head perks up, but he looks confused, eyes searching yours.
“Keep what—?” He starts, but you cut him off.
“The bracelet. Why did you keep it? It’s been years, I didn’t even think you still remembered that old piece of junk existed.” You blurt out, each word sounding distressed and just… confused. You wanted to understand.
He stares at you, mouth agape at a complete loss of what to say. His mouth suddenly feels dry and his tongue rubs anxiously against the roof of his mouth.
“Because… because it was important... to me.” Izuku breathes, the muscles and nerves in his hand twitching as it laid only inches away from yours. “I was s-so happy when you first gave it to me, my mom had to pry it off of me just to bathe me.” He chuckles, smiling at the memory.
“And I kept it because it reminded me of you, it felt like there was a part of you with me even when you couldn’t be there. It comforted me, knowing that you put s-so m-much thought into something j-just for me and I f-felt so special!” He breaks off when his hiccups start to get out of control. “A-and—”
He chokes and apologizes taking a moment to breathe again. You hadn’t realized how much one silly piece of jewelry had impacted him until now, so much so that he’s crying over it.
“And I made a promise, remember?” Izuku sniffs, wiping his eyes uselessly with his hand, only really smearing the wetness across his cheeks and wetting his hand with his own tears as they continued to spill down the freckled planes of his red cheeks.
You nod, but turn away when you feel your own emotions starting to spike up. You bit your lip, held your breath, clenched your teeth. Anything to keep the tears at bay as they threatened to fall.
“I-I said that when we—”
“We match now, so that means we gotta become big strong heroes together when we get big.” You butt in, sniffling and raising a hand to scrub at the tears streaming down your face and pooling at your chin. “That’s what you said.”
Deku stares at you, guffawed as you quoted his younger self. He hadn’t expected you to remember it so clearly, It makes him feel even worse. Knowing how much it must’ve hurt you when you grew apart. How hard it must’ve been on you to keep quiet about everything while he lived his best life, forgetting all about his dearest friend.
“Why’d you give it back?” You asked, voice trembling as you wiping your eyes with your arm. You glanced over at the green bracelet lying on your nightstand. “If it meant so much to you, why give it back?”
He closed his eyes. He listened to his heart as it slammed against his chest like a pinball machine, demanding him to say something.
“Because I forgot about the friendship it represented, and I shouldn’t have. I wish I wouldn’t have, but I did. I broke my own promise and e-even worse, I hurt you because I was just too caught up in my own problems—my own dreams—to remember that you’ve been a part of them since the beginning.” Izuku sobbed, there was no point in holding it all in now.
“I gave it back because I was so afraid I screwed up everything between us, and I don’t deserve it!”
I don’t deserve you. The phrase rang in his ears so loudly it was almost deafening, he wanted nothing more than to say it too. He couldn’t because he couldn’t catch a single damn breath to say it. But even as he feels he has gathered that breath it’s stolen away once more when he feels your hands on his face.
In a flurry of your own emotions and a nagging force of habit you had reached out and grasped his face, the soft pads of your thumbs wiping at his cheeks.
“Stop crying already, you had something you wanted to say right? Stop letting your emotions get in the way of that.”
The firmness in your tone as your stern eyes descended upon his own struck a chord in him. You’ve said something like that to him before. Years ago.
“Stop crying, Izuku! Stop letting your emotions keep you from standing up for yourself! Kacchan steps on you because he knows all you’ll do is cry!”
Multiple times.
“Would ya quit crying already? You’re tougher than that, Izu. Like All Might!”
Constantly.
“Stop crying because you don’t have a quirk! Become a hero without one!”
It had always been you. You there comforting him, encouraging him, telling him to quit crying and speak up for himself. To keep pushing on despite the fact that he just wasn’t as gifted as other children. How could he have forgotten one of the most important lessons you ever taught him? How could he have forgotten about you?
You tugged one of your bunched sleeves down with your teeth and dried up the downpour of tears from his cheeks with your hoodie sleeve. Careful not to rub the skin raw, you kept at it until he was simply too shocked to cry anymore. This is the first time you’ve done this in years, yet far from the first time you’ve had to do it at all. Even as children, you were using your fingers, your sleeves, the edge of your shirt to wipe his tears away.
“I—”
“Shush, I don’t want to hear it unless it’s what you came here to say.” You interrupt, and the look in his eyes changes from nervous to determined.
“I was going to say that I am s-sorry,” He stutters.
“What else?” You encouraged, watching as he slowly gained more confidence. “You said you weren’t going to leave until you say what you need to say, keep your promise.”
“I was going to say that I don’t deserve you!”
“And are you lying?” You ask.
“No!” Midoriya exclaims more confidently, more certain of himself than before.
“And is that all you wanted to say?” You asked again, smiling as the sobbing boy from before completely changed with your encouragement, egging him on.
“No…” Midoriya confesses, faltering slightly as his nervousness returns. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to say it yet. Would that even be acceptable right now? Even as strong as he feels right now he can’t help but hesitate, to blush, to avoid your gaze.
“Then say it.”
“I…” He trails off, suddenly terrified of the thought. He couldn’t! It would put everything on the line! “I-I…”
Your hand cups his cheek coaxing him to look back up at you.
“Stop hesitating, tell me what you want to say.”
He’s already put your friendship on the line, what difference would it make? You wanted the truth so you’d get it! He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes before opening them again, meeting your own straight on. There’s a spark in those green eyes that wasn’t there before he squinted them shut. It’s like an emerald fire was lit behind them.
“I love you!”
It’s quiet.
You stare at him, and he stares right back, his determined gaze never weakening as he maintained eye-contact.
“You what?”
“You heard me,” Midoriya replies.
This time it’s your turn to shy away. Your face darkens incredibly fast, heart racing against your chest as your eyes darted from side to side, deep in thought. Your mind threw numbers together into every equation it knew, each answer coming out the same. You had expected an “I want to be friends again!” or “I want a second chance!” or “I want to fix this!”
Never in a million years could you have predicted him to say that. Not to you. Your eyes drifted back up to his. He looks a little less confident now, almost worried as he awaits your response.
“Get out.” You breathe, eyes wide as you stare at him watching his determined face change to one of confusion.
You couldn’t believe it. After forgetting your existence for almost a year, after only remembering when he found the bracelet, after only wanting to talk to you because it was most convenient to him… and he has the goddamn nerve to say that he loved you.
“W-what?” Izuku gasped, not understanding what was going on. Suddenly you were pressing yourself against the wall farthest from him on your bed.
“G-get out!” You exclaim, the angry tears running down your face.
“Y/N, what are you s-saying?” His voice shook, the tears starting to fall from his eyes again, his nose beginning to run as well as his entire body shook. Why were you telling him to leave? Did he make the wrong call? Did you not feel the same?
“Why are you lying to me?” You asked, the question coming out like a whisper.
“I-I’m not lying to you, I love you!” Midoriya cried. “Please, you have to believe me, I wouldn’t lie to you! I’ve always liked you—since we were kids, Y/N! I can’t fake that! You know I can’t!”
You shake as his desperate green eyes plead with yours, a sincerity in those irises you grew up staring into, a sincerity that just can’t be faked. He actually… he actually loved you? But why? He ignored you for a year!
“And you can honestly tell me that in that year you forgot about me you loved me?!” You demanded, your tears making your vision blurry and unmanageable.
“I never stopped loving you, even if it was overshadowed by my dream to become a hero, even if I made mistakes not even I can fix, my heart always belonged to you.” Midoriya crawled over to kneel in front of you on your bed where you still had your back pressed to the wall and your knees pulled tightly to your chest. “I’m not perfect, Y/N. I made a mistake by not being there for you, and I will do anything it takes to fix it if I can.”
“And you won’t forget me again? You promise?” You ask shakily, feeling a little embarrassed by how small you felt, scrunched up in such a way and crying in front of someone other than your cat at home.
“Yes,” His immediate response confirms it, not an ounce of hesitation present in the way it rolls off his tongue. “I promise, I’ll never forget you. And I’ll never be the reason you cry again.”
“Can you believe me?” Izuku reached his hand out to you.
“I… I believe you.” You admit, a small smile gracing your lips as you take his hand. Izuku lets out a relieved sigh, his free hand trembling over his heart. You can tell how terrified he was. “This doesn’t mean I forgive you though, Izu.”
“I know, and I’m going to try my very best to make it up to you. I promise.” Izuku states. It doesn’t bother him that you didn’t say ‘I love you’ back, he wouldn’t have deserved it. He’s going to have to work for it, and that was fine with him.
“Do you…” You started, face flushing and eyes avoiding his as you removed your hands from his face. “Do you wanna hug it out?”
“Yes!” You yelp when he throws himself at you, tackling you to the bed with his arms around you. You squeeze your own arms around him, face burrowing into his shoulder as you squeezed the life out of one another.
“Sorry.” He mutters when he realizes he’s practically on top of you and most likely crushing you. He moves to roll off of you but your arms only tighten around him.
“No, please just… can we just stay like this for a while?” You asked, and Izuku felt his heart beating so fast he was convinced it eventually just commit seppuku if it pounded any harder. He nodded against your shoulder, cheeks burning a bright crimson as he relaxes.
“Also,” You spoke up and he hummed in response, he couldn’t be bothered to move. You reached over to your nightstand to snatch the green bracelet from it, the green-haired boy whining when he had to re-adjust after you started moving. “Gimme your hand.”
He pulled away, green pools swirling with confusion. He complies with your sudden request and gasps when you slide the bracelet back onto his wrist.
“This belongs to you.” You smiled and he mirrored it with one of his own, hand impulsively taking yours, fingers intertwining with your own. Your matching bracelets reflected the dim light of the room, casting a warm glow over your faces as you smiled at each other. No longer did you feel forgotten or used, instead you felt loved again. “Now get off me.”
Izuku laughs and slips off of you to lay at your side, his arms pulling you in close so he could cuddle you, just like you did when you were kids.
Izuku rested his forehead against yours, one hand reaching up to timidly brush against your reddened cheek, causing your eyes to flutter closed and a small sigh to escape your smiling lips. He missed seeing you smile. But there was still something else that he needed to take care of before you drifted off to sleep.
“Y/N?” He asked.
“Yes?” You sighed sleepily,
“Don’t ever feel like you have to keep quiet anymore, alright? Please, always talk to me.”
You blinked, your mouth opening and closing several times.
“Okay.”
#midoriya izuku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader#midoriya x reader#deku x reader#izuku midoriya x reader angst#angst with a happy ending#confession#that shit hurted#midoriya izuku#izuku x reader#todoroki shouto#iida tenya#uraraka ochako#bnha#mha#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha x you#bnha x you#bnha angst
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Over Your Shoulder
Pairing: Paz Viszla x f!Reader
You're used to working for others. As a freelance armstech, you flit from contract to contract, never staying too long in one place. Although the freelancer life is fun, you kind of wish you could trade it all for a little bit of stability. As the maker would have it, that stability shows up in the form of one (1) Paz Viszla.
Tags/Warnings: nothing right now, but future loving degradation, Good Communication Is My Kink, daddy kink, and other sexy consensual shenangians. Reader has slight self esteem issues.
Notes: I haven’t written for fun in forever, but new year new me! If you know me in real life never bring this up because I will combust lol. I was going to fire off a brief smutty one-shot pwp thing but of course I couldn’t resist adding ~ b a c k s t o r y ~ so here you go. Subsequent updates will probably just be pwp.
Chapter 1: All The Grass is Greener Everywhere You Look
Nervousness, you assumed, was a regular feeling for anyone who was newly married. Doubly so for the new spouse of a Mandalorian. Unlike the rest of the galaxy where marriage vows were somewhat loose, Mandalorians took their vows very seriously. Forever, generally meant, forever.
Your relationship with Paz Viszla was strange in and of itself. As a freelance armstech, you hopped from planet to planet offering your repair services, never staying in any one place for too long. While on Bothawui, you had let slip to a client that you were headed to Nevarro next. Greef Karga, the head of the Guild, had put you on a retainer for services to guild members for a few cycles. The pay was good, and he had promised you a steady supply of commissions from the local bounty hunters who frequented Nevarro in need of new weapons and repairs on top of the already nice stipend.
The Bothan, a short humanoid by the name of Eesk, perked up when you mentioned Nevarro, and the next day he came over as you were on your way to the spaceport.
“Can I ask a favor? Do you mind making a delivery for me while on Nevarro?” he asked, pulling a datapad out from his robes.
You looked up, eyes narrowing. Bothans were famous for their information network, and were instrumental to the destruction of the first Death Star, but still, you were understandably nervous. “ Eesk, I’m not interested in looking for trouble. I don’t need the New Republic or any Imp remnant breathing down my neck for delivering that for you,” you said.
Eesk laughed, “Relax, I promise you this isn’t serious. Just deliver this to a Mandalorian on Nevarro. It’s nothing classified, I’m just returning a favor for a friend,”. He slid over a stack of credits. “I’d take it to him myself, but unfortunately I’m held up on New Republic business”.
You reached over and tucked the datapad into your bag along with the credits, “Fine, but you owe me”.
“Next time you’re here, drinks on me.” he said as he walked away.
It was only until you had boarded the transport ship that you realized Eesk had never actually told you were to meet this Mandalorian. ‘Oh well,’ you thought, ‘he’s not getting these credits back’. You leaned your head against the wall of the ship, tired from hauling all of your luggage to the spaceport, and fell asleep.
You were three standard weeks into your contract with Greef Karga and the Guild, and still no Mandalorian had shown up to collect the datapad. It was nice to be somewhat settled in one place for longer than a week, and you had enjoyed the steady stream of work. You had also learned from Karga that the Mandalorian covert scattered from Nevarro, and he hadn’t seen one in a while. For all of their information trafficking and spy network, perhaps Eesk had gotten it wrong for once, and you didn’t really care to ask. After all, it would be nigh impossible to miss a person wearing head to toe armor, especially on Nevarro.
One morning, as you had returned from your walk to the lava plains, you discovered the door to your apartment was unlocked. Strange. Not a good sign. None of your alarms were triggered either. Carefully, you pulled your blaster out its holster before quietly pushing the door open.
“There you are. Been looking all over for you.”
A large man, clad in blue armor and covered in more weapons per square inch that any other being you had ever seen, sat next to your workstation. Despite the blaster pointed at him, he seemed unperturbed, posture open and relaxed.
“What do you want?” you asked, blaster raised, "You picked the wrong house to rob,". You had fended off your fair share of robberies, the expensive equipment you lugged around as an armstech was attractive to petty thieves, and not cheap.
“The datapad.” he said.
“I take it you’re the Mandalorian that Eesk spoke about.”
“Correct,”.
You rummage through your toolkit and dust off the datapad. “Here you go Mr. Mandalorian, although I suggest next time you knock during business hours. Breaking and entering is reserved for long term partners, and you haven’t even bought me a drink yet”. You wince a little inwardly, maybe this dry spell was affecting you more than you thought.
You tap the edge of the datapad on the Mandalorian’s chest plate. “Oh and you might want to get the blaster strapped to your thigh checked, those scorch marks are usually a bad sign,”.
The blue hunk of armor stood up and took the datapad from you. “Thank you for this,” he rumbled before heading out the door.
“Ah, so you do have manners,” you teased before moving to shut the door.
You can’t see the expression on his face, but you hear the huff of a laugh through his modulator accompanied with a shake of his shoulders.
You were pretty sure you’d never see him again.
Wrong.
The next day right as you returned from dropping off a box of repaired pistols, there he was again, blue armor and blank expressionless helmet, sitting in the same spot next to your workstation.
“Can you fix it?” he asked.
You gaped at him for a second, before remembering the comment you made yesterday. “I can take a look,”. You cross over to your workstation, turning on the light and the magnifying glass and grabbing your toolkit. It was an easy but time-consuming fix, and you quickly busied yourself with disassembling the rifle.
“You’re not from Nevarro,”. A question, posed as a statement.
You didn’t look up, “Nope, I’m just passing through.” Hmm, that power cell did not look too good.
“Where is home for you?”
“Nowhere,” you said matter-of-factly as you tinkered away, “Like most people, the Clone Wars and the Empire destroyed what little of a childhood I had. Got taken in by a kind armstech who taught me the trade, and now I hop from planet to planet making a living. What about you? I heard about what happened to the Mandalorians on this planet,”.
“Also nowhere,” the man grunted, and he remained quiet. You finished your work, and handed him the blaster, butt end first.
“You owe me two drinks now, breaking into my place like that.”
He took the blaster from you, two gloved finger tips drawing a line from the middle of your forearm down your wrist. An unnecessary movement, he could’ve just taken the blaster. You gulped. He put the gun back in its holster and leaned forward.
“I might, if you ask nicely. I saw the way you sized me up the first time,”.
You swallowed, mouth going dry. “It’s uh, part of my line of work. Gotta make sure everyone’s packing-- I mean, everyone’s weapons are in tip top shape.” Your stupid lizard brain, at it again.
He cocked his head to the side, “I’m sure it is,” the mirth evident in his tone.
Every evening thereafter, the blue Mandalorian showed up at your doorstep, a new weapon in hand for you to look at. It was nice, you had to admit to yourself. A consistency in your otherwise inconsistent life, and you grew to enjoy his company. What you couldn’t handle however, was the escalating tension between the two of you. He would occasionally stand behind you, his big, all-encompassing frame brushing up against your back, and lean over you to ask about this or that. The first time you thought it was an accident, but then he followed up with an oh-so-casual touch of your wrist, and you were pretty sure it was on purpose, but you also couldn’t tell if that was wishful thinking on your part. Occasionally the two of you would strike up a conversation, but for the most part he sat in a comfortable silence while you worked. When he came over the fourth night, large gattling gun in tow, you decided it was high time to try to get to know him better.
“Uh...would you like to stay for dinner?”, eyes looking down on the (ancient) gattling gun, trying to keep your voice light.
He paused and shook his head “I can’t,”.
Oh, an immediate shut down. Great. Well it was worth a shot.
“Not for the reason you think. I can’t remove my helmet in the presence of others, that’s part of the creed,”.
That made a lot of sense. You hadn’t come across many Mandalorians in your travels, but all of them were rather cagey about their armor and helmet. You had assumed it was due to the value of beskar, but this was the first time you had heard about this creed.
You looked up at him. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” you blurted out, the words forming on your tongue before your brain could shut you down. “Nevermind-- I’m sorry I-”
He interjected, “Sometimes. There are some exceptions though,”.
You leaned forward. “Such as?”.
A pause. He stepped forward, tipping your chin up with a finger.
“ Would you care to find out?”
Ch 2 here
#paz viszla#paz vizla x reader#paz viszla x reader#2021 new year new me#and by new year new me i mean i will write the kinky caretaking fic i want#the mandalorian#mono writes#THE LAST TIME I WROTE IT WAS FOR MASS EFFECT LMAO#this is way too much buildup#but whatever!!!!!#over your shoulder fic
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