#i could list out all my bad qualities in the tags but that’s probably not helpful to anyone

[touchlikethesun]

it’s extremely frustrating to be able to recognise behaviours in yourself brought on by trauma, recognise the negative impact those behaviours are having on your life, but not being able in the moment to correct them. i feel like i’ve been fighting the same battles over and over again for a decade and never gaining any ground, at least not permanently, and i am so tired all the time. all the time. i don’t want to be a bad person, or a mean person, or a selfish person, i really really don’t, but i am. for whatever reason, i am. i want to do better, i want to choose to do better, but i keep messing it up. nothing even happened today. today was a good day. i just think about this a lot.

[russellsppttemplates]

It is what it is (Lando Norris)

It takes Lando a while to notice how you always assume he has something else to do whenever you need his help

Note: english is not my first language. It's slightly angsty but has a good ending! ✨️ is this good, is this bad? I'm not too sure

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Cw: alludes to the lack of quality time between a couple

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog @hiireadstuff @c-losur3

"Look at you, beautiful girl", Lando twirled you as he stepped inside your bedroom, noticing you were getting ready, "are you going somewhere?".

"Yes, I have an appointment at my optometrist", you smiled, "Anna should be here soon to take me".

"Is it a joint appointment?", Lando squinted.

"No, you muppet", you giggled, "my optometrist needs some exams on my eyes, so I have to today because that's when the ophthalmologist is there and they recommended that I had someone take me there because they want to dilate my pupils and, depending on how it goes, my sight might be a little affected for a couple of hours", you offered, making sure you had everything you needed to take.

"You could've told me and I would've taken you", Lando added, accepting the kiss you placed on his lips.

"I thought you had a meeting this afternoon", you reasoned.

"I do, but I could have moved that around a little and fit everything into the schedule", he reasoned back.

"It's okay, don't worry about that", you mused, "That's Anna - bye, handsome!", you kissed his lips one last time before making your way out and downstairs to meet your friend.

The ride to the office wasn't long, you and Anna taking the time to catch up and learn about the new gossips she had to update on you.

"And how's Lando? I haven't seen him in a while", Anna stated after you sat in the empty waiting room waiting to be called.

"He's been busy lately - he has a meeting today with the team, they're also launching a new collection for Quadrant and they're investing a lot in the social media content, so he's been busy recording a lot of videos and stuff", you offered, never shy whenever it came to talk proudly about your boyfriend's achievements, "and we're also on the countdown for the season to begin, so there's training and meetings and all that".

"Sounds like a busy schedule, no wonder why I haven't seen him - I'm surprised you even see him at all", she joked, grabbing her phone once she remembered she had something to show you.

You were surprised yourself at every bit of time you were able to spend with Lando, as lately it had become near impossible to do so apart from sleeping in the same bed, and even that was rare as he was often travelling between Monaco and England on a weekly basis.

"Ms. Y/N Y/L/N?", the doctor called you before you stepped inside the exam room, starting with the procedures.

The check up itself didn't take long despite the twenty five minute wait for the drops to dilate your pupils, "Don't forget your sunglasses, Y/N!", the secretary reminded you before you stepped outside.

"Thank you, have a good afternoon", you smiled before tapping Anna's shoulder, "Give me your arm so I won't trip", you mumbled.

"Is your sight that bad? The doctor said it should be good enough", Anna worried as she was about to open the door.

"No, it's fine, but if I'm clumsy on any good day, imagine how probable it is for me to fall on some stupid step or raised cobblestone", you argued as you both chuckled, making your way to her car.

Before you went home, your friend stopped by the pharmacy to get you the relief eye drops you'd have to follow the medication regimen with for the next few days, stopping by your favourite bakery so you could enjoy some sweet pastries.

"Can you even read these prescriptions?", Anna asked as she read the regimen you had to comply with.

"Stop making fun of me, you say that as if I'm almost blind", you swatted her arm before reading - trying to - the words, "fucking hell, am I?".

"I can barely read them myself, Y/N! They're so tiny I don't know how they give these to eye patients! Is Lando going to be home soon? That way he can help you with this", she suggested.

"Can I even see the time? At least that", you mumbled as you looked at the large numbers on your phone, "he'll probably take a while still - I can set the alarms on my phone and I'll memorise the different drops", you tapped your head.

Once it was all settled and you assured Anna she was fine to go home and you'd be perfectly well on your own, you walked her to the door before going back to the living room as the sun was no longer shinning outside and you could lay down on the sofa.

The nap you were taking was cut short by the door being shut, making you rub your forehead before an alarm rang. Getting up to head to the bathroom where you kept the supplies, you found Lando taking his trainers off.

"Hi baby, how was your appointment?", he asked as he put the footwear away.

"It was good, need to go and apply my drops", you smiled, turning the light on and grabbing the right box of medication.

"Is that what the alarm was for? I thought we had gotten a new security system I was not aware of", Lando joked as he watched you wash your hands.

"Yes, these instructions are so small to read that Anna thought it would be best to have alarms so I wouldn't mess it up since it's still a little bit blurry", you mused.

"Do you want me to do it?", Lando offered.

"No, it's fine - I'll have to do this for the next 48 hours anyway, so I might as well get used to it", you stopped talking so you could apply them, almost holding your breath until the drops fell.

"My lovie", Lando whispered on your ear once he felt it was okay to approach you, hugging your mid section from behind and kissing your neck as you put your hands on top of his.

.

You were adding the finishing touches on the present wrapping, the shiny gold string fiddling between your fingers as you tried to tie a bow with it around the paper bag handle, when Lando stepped inside your home office.

"That's looking pretty", he mused as he handed you the tape you were looking for on your desk.

"Thank you", you offered before placing the sticky piece down, "the bag is quite plain and even though the present inside is what will get her attention, it should come in nice wrapping".

"Who is this for?", Lando asked.

"It's for Maya's birthday tonight", you smiled, admiring your work.

"Is that tonight? Fuck, this week has flown by", Lando cursed, "I can't make it - will you let her know, please? I'm sorry I can't go", Lando pouted, "if she has to pay for having made the reservation with me in it, let me know and I'll pay my part!".

"I had already told her I'd be going alone, so she made my reservation without a plus one", you mused, remembering the conversation that came around the time of booking the venue.

Lando was leaving late in the afternoon for a trip with Max, Ria and some of the Quadrant athletes, so like you predicted, he couldn't attend the dinner with you.

"Oh", Lando offered.

"Max told me about your plans and when Maya told me the date, I assumed you wouldn't be able to go", you explained with a tinge of sadness and conformity in your voice.

"Well, it seems you guessed right", Lando chuckled despite the uneasy feeling on his chest.

You seemed sad that he wouldn't be able to join you, but at the same time you didn't? Lando put the topic at the back of his mind for now, heading to the bedroom so he could pack the last minute things.

"I was thinking of wearing this dress", you said once you joined him inside a while later, taking the steamer out of your drawer and setting it up to get out any kinks and wrinkles.

"That one is one of my favourites on you, but then again, they all are, I think", Lando mused, kissing your cheek as you waited for the steamer to be up for use.

"Figured it would be a little cold out tonight, so I chose this one, and that coat over there", you pointed.

"You'll be the most beautiful in that room", your boyfriend complimented, pecking your lips before he let you continue your task.

A couple hours later, Lando found himself restless as he scrolled through the posts and stories of Maya's birthday dinner, "Ria", he called, "what would you think if your partner made plans without you because they figured you wouldn't be able to go anyway?".

Ria exchanged a look with Max and Tara before she spoke, "did they ask me if I could go?", she offered.

"They didn't, but truth be told it's not like you have given them much to believe that you could join them", Lando mumbled the last part.

"I think I'd be a more 'it is what it is' at the start if I saw that it was something out of their reach, but I'm not sure I'd put up with it if it was genuine disinterest from them", Ria explained.

"It's not disinterest! They're just busy and shit at organising their schedules", Lando groaned defensively.

"Okay, okay", Ria calmed the room down once Max squinted his eyes at his bestfriend, "then I guess they would have to make sure they do better", she shrugged, "is everything alright?".

"Yes, yes, sorry for snapping just then", Lando offered her a tight lipped smile.

Everyone carried on with what they were doing before the existencial question, Max seemingly as stuck on it as Lando, "is this an hypothetical thing or are we calling people by their names and working this out?", he whispered to Lando.

"It's fine, just a loose thought I had there", Lando grumbled.

.

Lina 🤎

Hi, Y/N!

You won't bother, don't worry - I think I miss having someone other than my boyfriend to talk to 😅

Would it be okay if you visited in the afternoon? Our morning routine is still a shitshow (literally and figuratively), so we would appreciate it if you came after her first nap, around two pm?

One of Lando's older couple friends had a baby a couple of weeks ago, and while you were dying to meet their baby boy as soon as he came earthside, you were respectful of their adjustment period so you waited for them to be up for visitors and were ready to comply with whatever schedule they offered.

"It smells nice in here", Lando commented as he stepped inside the kitchen, "what delicious food are you making and can I please have a bite?".

"I made a little tray for us, but the big one is to take for Lina and Theo - I can imagine they don't have much time for cooking, so food is welcomed by them", you smiled, setting the cheese grater down once the measurements were like the recipe stated.

"Are you going to visit today? I have some streaming with Max scheduled for this afternoon", Lando added.

"Lina told me that this afternoon was the only time they could handle some visits - you know how it is with new parents and newborns and all of that -, I didn't want to change their schedule when I have some flexibility with my schedule", you explained, "I'll give the little one a big kiss from you, then?".

"Well, in that case, I should give you two big kisses then - one for you", he kissed your lips once, "and then this one for the little one", he smiled before kissing you again.

You shared lunch in a semi comfortable silence, Lando telling you a bit about the stream they would be doing and you sharing some work updates from your end.

When Lando gets a text in the middle of watching Max send his virtual car to the curb, "who might that be that's brought such a big smile to your face?".

Lando checked the photo to make sure the baby's face was covered despite his friends having already posted him, tuning the phone to show the camera, "Y/N met our friends' baby boy for the first time", Lando gushed.

"That's the little nugget", Max cooed, "she looks very happy with a baby on her arms", he wiggled his eyebrows, "have you met him already?".

"No, I haven't yet! She could only go this afternoon and we had this so...", Lando tsked, admiring the picture one last time before setting the phone back down. The baby was perfectly nestled on your arms, hiding his face on your chest as you looked down at him with a big smile on your face.

Now that he thought about he, he hadn't seen such a big smile in quite some time, and he was really starting to believe he was the reason behind it. He was absent, more than usual and more than the standards of your relationship considering his job.

The air had shifted around you once you came back from meeting Lina's little boy and Lando could only pinpoint it to the subject he thought about earlier.

"Lan, did you hear what I said?", you asked as you showed him another picture of you touching your noise in the little boy's.

"It's just... are we okay, baby?", Lando questioned. Even though it seemed like he was the only one that felt there was something wrong - different at least -, surely you had noticed it too.

"What makes you say that?", you asked.

From the serious tone, your boyfriend mentally slapped himself. Whatever it was, he was on the wrong and you had indeed noticed it too.

"I've noticed you don't ask me for help with stuff like driving you somewhere or accompanying you to places, which is fine if you want to do things on your own, I'm not saying you can't have your own independence, you know I'm not controlling you in that way - obviously! Fuck, I'm rambling! What I mean is, I have been taking notice that you just assume that I'm not available, and your assumptions are not unfounded, and it makes you sad, and I myself am upset that it has reached this point", Lando stated.

"It's not great, I can tell you that, but we knew it would be like this, your schedule is not the regular nine to five - it is what it is, Lan", you argued.

"But it's not, not all the time anyway! I want you to know you can always count on me!", Lando stated, "Y/N, you are one of my priorities and I never want to let you down - I'm going to make sure that from now on I spend more time with you and that I'm by your side a lot more", he rubbed your palm, "damn, I was so stupid, I'm sorry, lovie".

"Lando, these things happen", you attempted, "now we can work on it".

"You can count on me for little and big things in life - you need to go to the post office? I'm there helping you put the letter in the box. Dinner with your friends? I'll find it in the schedule to go and I don't care who I have to tell no to!", he pointed his finger, "I never ever want you to feel like you don't belong in my life or like I don't want to be involved in yours, Y/N - I'm so so so sorry that it took me so long to notice it".

"It's in the past", you smiled, pecking his lips softly, "now, look at this cute little nugget, he's so cute, we have to go there another day so you can meet him, and I think Theo won't mind another traybake".

[gatorbites-imagines]

Kinktober day 16

Jason Todd + leather or Latex

I had like, no ideas what to do with this prompt ngl, so I just kinda went with whatever came to me when writing.

Crime lord Red Hood has always had a special place in my heart

Kinktober 2023 masterlist.

Working for The Red Hood wasn’t too bad, especially compared to the other rogues you’d had to work for in the past. With Hood you didn’t have to fear suddenly being shot because Two-face suddenly felt like it, or being eaten by whatever plants Ivy had conjured up, or answering whatever riddles the Riddler came up with that day.

Best part was probably the uniform though. All rogues put their people in specific clothes. For the joker it was clown masks and all that junk, Riddler wanted you in stuff with question mark print, penguin wanted you well dressed in suit and tie, the list went on. For Hood just wearing red seemed to be enough. Most seemed to just resort to wearing a red hoodie under their jacket, and that was enough.

Interestingly enough, working for Hood also came with some benefits, like being allowed to keep stuff from different conflicts as long as it didn’t cause issues for Hood. That was where you found your first leather, some rich guy from Metropolis tried to set up in Gotham and was quickly dealt with. If Gotham hated anyone more than each other, it was outsiders trying to barge in and make a name for themselves.

The guy had been wearing a sturdy but not too flashy leather jacket, so after checking the pockets and for bullet holes and seeing it in one piece, you tucked it over your arm and brought it home. You had to cut the tags out and changed the inner fabric to something cheaper, and most importantly, into something red, but the quality was no lie.

You realized you might have had a thing for Leather one night when you had needed to go out for some small run for Hood, and you’d been too tired and lazy to put on a shirt. You ended up going out in a pair of low waisted denim pants, some well worn boots, and your jacket. No one batted an eye, at all, seeing a shirtless guy was far from the weirdest shit in Gotham, but the feel of leather on your skin seemed to have lit something inside you.

After that you might have subconsciously started looking for the stuff whenever you went on raids or into fights for Hood and his territory. Who cared if you stole some hotshot from star cities leather west and hat, or that guy from Texas whose black leather boots you stole right off his feet. You didn’t touch the pants though, even though you really really wanted too, you just didn’t trust them not to be contaminated by all kinds of junk.

You honestly thought you hid it pretty well, your draw to leather that is. Everyone had their thing, and you always wearing your jacket and boots was just something you did. If you went home to get dressed all the way down to just your jacket and boots though to jerk off was another thing entirely.

But it seemed your draw to the last targets pants hadn’t gone fully unnoticed by your boss. Imagine your surprise when he shoved a package into your arms one night and told you to only check it when you got home, the modulator of his helmet making him seem way more serious than he probably was.

You wouldn’t say you were outright friends with Hood, no one could really be friends with their boss in the criminal world, but you cracked jokes with the guy and even got him to laugh on the regular. You patched him up when he needed it, and he dragged you to Leslie’s clinic when you got knocked around a bit too hard, which happened more than you liked to admit.

When you got home you had almost assumed that the package would hold weapons or maybe even drugs, even though Hood didn’t personally deal the stuff. But instead, you found what you immediately noticed was leather, a card placed on top of the neatly folded leather. The letter was in Hoods writing, and you felt your face heat up a tad at the words on the page.

“Next time just let me buy it for you instead of stealing it off bodies” it said, and when you unfolded the leather, you felt your insides flutter. It was pants, they seemed even better quality than the ones you had been eying the night before. But it wasn’t just pants, there was a newer jacket, it was brown and heavy and was very well worn, and when you held it out in front of you, you could see it was one of Hoods own jackets.

You could feel blood running downwards, leaving you fumbling with your clothes as you got undressed, feeling almost desperate to pull the pants up your legs and hips. They were tight, but not too tight, and there was no question about the quality. Your original jacket fell to the ground with a heavy thud, your fingers quickly grabbing the heavy well-loved leather of the brown jacket and pulling it on, a shaky breath leaving you as the smell that was so clearly Hood filled your senses.

It smelled like leather, gun oil, the cigarettes he smoked when he was annoyed or on edge, and something undeniably Hood, and it had you tenting your new pants. Or tenting as well as one could in leather, which meant it was more a visible bulge running down the inside of your thigh. It had felt so good on your skin that you had found yourself grinding against your hand on your couch like some inexperienced fool. Your back had arched off the couch as you stained the inside of your pants, the leather growing slick against you as you groaned.

It was only later when cleaning the leather that you noticed the writing in the waistband, near the back so it would sit near the bottom of your spine. “Red Hood” it said, like some kind of statement of ownership, and you had shivered and exhaled shakily, rubbing a hand over your face to dispel the thoughts it awoke in your body.

Next time you saw Hood you had worn the pants, but the jacket was left at home. The worn jacket didn’t go well with the newer shinier leather of the pants, so it was your normal jacket and boots, which had some of your friends joke a bit about you being some kind of leather daddy because of your interest in the stuff. You had let the jokes run off your back, joking along every now and then.

You hadn’t even noticed Hood being there until he had appeared behind you, his gloved hand grabbing your ass and giving it a squeeze. Youd almost snapped around and decked him, assuming it was someone else, that was until you heard his modulated voice. “You’re wearing my gift. You like it?” he purred obviously enough that you could hear it even through the voice changer.

You could feel your skin growing clammy as you gave a small nod, not even daring to look at hood as he pressed his crotch against your back, his erection obvious even through all your shared layers. “Good, you look so hot in it” he rumbled, giving your thighs an extra squeeze before he stepped back and wandered off, leaving you unsteady on your feet as you tried to force the obvious hard shape in your pants away, for once cursing how tight they were.

It continued on this way for a while, Hood leaving you presents, and you would wear them around his headquarters. It was never expensive or high quality enough for anyone to target you, but Hood seemed to enjoy it very much. It felt almost like having a sugar daddy or some kind, but he had never demanded much sugar, only grabbing your ass at times, or rubbing his hands up and down your torso that time you’d worn a leather shirt under your jacket.

He was a tease, and you could hear the shit eating grin through his helmet as you ground against his thick thigh one day. You felt so wound up from his lingering touches that you had found yourself in his office one day, or what you guys called his office anyways. Maybe you wanted a fight of some kind, you weren’t sure, but one thing led to another, and you pinned up against the wall, his thigh between your own.

And now you were grinding against his thigh like some kind of pervert, your fingers digging into the worn leather of his jacket as you gasped into his shoulder. You didn’t even notice as he pulled off his gloves or spat on his fingers, it was only when one of his hands was shoved down the back of your leather pants and between your cheeks that you realised. A groan left you as he rubbed the pad of his finger against your pucker, his voice cocky as he asked if this was what you wanted.

You tried to glare at him, but it only seemed to fuel him more as Hood pushed his finger inside, letting you adjust before he started moving to the best of his ability, your tight pants not leaving much room to move his wrist. The stimulation was driving you crazy, the tight leather of your pants doing nothing to lessen the experience as you ground forwards into his thigh, before you pushed back onto his hand.

Running your hands down his torso and up his shirt, you could keep the moan from leaving you as you felt something too smooth and slick to be leather. It was Latex, he was wearing a latex shirt under everything else, maybe it was even a full body thing as it continued as you thumbed at the waistband of his pants.

Your exploring just seemed to fuel him more as Hood added not just a second but a third finger at the same time, letting you just barely adjust to the stretch before he started moving his hand once more, causing you to grind harder against his thigh.

It was impossible to fight back the orgasm that rocked through you, thoroughly slicking up the crotch area of your leather pants as there was no fabric to soak it up, letting it splatter against your thighs and lower body. You could feel yourself twitch a bit as Hood removed his fingers, instead grabbing onto your hips and lifting you up, making your legs wrap around his waist.

You couldn’t find it in yourself to ask what he was up too as he walked backwards, plopping down on his chair with you in his lap, sighing softly as he started rubbing his hands up your torso, flicking your chest through the leather shirt you had chosen to wear. “You alright baby?” he asked, voice warm and caring, leaving you feeling all types of mushy.

You just scoffed and leaned forwards, resting against his broad shoulders and coiling your arms around him. Hood rubbed your back for a while before rolling his chair close to his desk, the taping of keys letting you know he was working on one thing or the other. In the end you found yourself with both your hands up his shirt, rubbing at his latex covered torso as you rocked lazily against his thigh, no hurry in your movements as you knew you had all night, and it would happen soon if the twitching bulge between Hoods thighs meant anything.

[rabbit-surfboard]

Fictional podcast recs

One of my friends got into audio drama and I just sent them a whole list of recommendations to go through, I thought someone who follows these tags might also appreciate it and perhaps have some more to throw in. I resisted the urge to throw in the little blurb about audio dramas as a weird little medium and their tropes that I wrote up. It was something to the effect of nodding at how the medium has rapidly been improving since Welcome to Nightvale started, also how a lot of the tropes that tie the medium together are products of the indie podcast scene being accessible and primarily based in audio. Also at how well horror works in the format. Those paragraphs went unsaved but writing first about the medium in general helped me to reflect on a lot of the things that make audiodramas appealing or repulsive to me for discussing each show in brief beyond just explaining what they're about.

All recommendations are tagged for the tldr.

Fiction podcast recommendations in no particular order:

The Magnus Archives

Horror

The biggest criticism I ever had of this podcast’s voice acting from episode 1 turned out to be a relevant plot point. This thing is probably the best of the best, but I would never recommend it to someone unfamiliar with podcasts because the listener only notices a plot hook somewhere between episodes 20-40 and that’s daunting in the face of a 200 episode show. Getting sucked in rewards you with 200 episodes of thoughtful content and a great explanation for most of the weird things this show chooses to incorporate.

Old Gods of Appalachia

Horror

Fantastic production quality on this ongoing show. Many seasons with interconnected lore and a hell of a narrator. It’s not my personal favorite but it’s quite excellent.

Red Valley

Found footage mystery

One of the newer shows I’ve gotten into, Red Valley is well-crafted. It becomes compelling very quickly with a rapid pace that slows down to land in a neat spot for a while so you can savor the cool parts. The production quality is excellent and the two main voice actors have excellent chemistry. The third and final season is currently being produced.

The Silt Verses

Horror

Often compared to American Gods, this newer podcast made by an experienced team is doing a lot of creative and fresh things at once. The magnificently fucked up religious system of The Silt Verses is both a neat plot vehicle and cleanly works as a criticism of late stage capitalism, where many podcasts like to jab at capitalism this one is much more pointed in its commentary. Episodes are long and very well produced. All the credits in the third season have been mostly diegetic and add flavor to the world.

Archive 81

Found footage horror

Slow to start but by season 2 the production quality and plot are among the best in the game. Unfortunately, on an extended hiatus.

Ars Paradoxica

Science fiction, historical

Very well produced considering its age, this is a highly regarded show among people who follow the medium. Excellent time travel mechanics here. The plot drags a bit by the end because time travel stories must violently contort themselves into a conclusion, but the first season or two are fantastic and it’s always nice to have an ending instead of interminable hiatus.

Caravan

Gay demons n stuff

Showed up, did magic and gay shit, disappeared and went on hiatus probably with some kinda unsatisfying cliffhanger seeing as I don’t remember the plot. Could I recommend it in good faith? Not until they at least cough up season 2. I don’t remember it being bad and that alone is notable for the medium.

Mabel

Gothic horror

This is the deepest cut on the list except for maybe Caravan. Lesbians pine at each other for increasingly complicated reasons, eventually devolving into them doing datura and then spewing cryptic poetry together for the rest of their days. The production quality is fair. The slow windup and creepy house are American-gothic af. This show has had a few hiatuses, but each time it comes back significantly more intriguing.

Welcome to Nightvale

Goofy spooky news broadcast

Old and iconic, not very consistent. Sometimes explores emotional, tense, spooky, or funny scenes well, but the show is really focused on being local news for an ooky spooky desert town because Cecil is damn good at his job. Don’t come here looking for plot, it’s a fun vibe and I don’t know that anybody’s ripped it off and notably improved on this classic. Above average production quality for its time which improved through the years.

Alice isn’t Dead

USA road trip, horror

Made by at least one of the Nightvale writers, totally different show with a lesbian trucker making wry observations of some magnificently twisted shit seen around the United States. The producers know how to run a show, so the production is pretty good.

Tanis

Found footage horror

Tanis is not good. However, it was the first fiction podcast to make me ask “Is this real?” and hesitantly believe it for a frankly embarrassing number of episodes. The stories in the first season were interesting and the lore is just some big-tent conspiracy style of cramming a bunch of fun Wikipedia research into what turns out to be an increasingly nonsensical plot. Every season after the second, I return to hate-listen and am gaslit into thinking the show might low-key rock a few episodes before the finale, which is routinely frustrating and makes sure to throw out any good plot points Terry Miles comes up with. The acting is routinely terrible, and the frame narrative allows lazy and frequent retcons, ruining what I think is a good premise. Also it’s incomplete.

The Black Tapes

Horror

Terry Miles started this show before Tanis began releasing about 5 months later. I think of it as one of his earlier works because it behaves like Tanis with an added layer of cringe from a time waster of an awkward romance(?) between the two main characters. I couldn’t finish this show. You won’t see this recommended as often as it used to be online because there’s many better shows now, but this used to be a big deal. There’s a bunch of memes making fun of the annoying cadence of the characters’ speech and iconic sponsorship reads in both this and Tanis. If you’re interested in some cringe atop your creepypasta podcast, the two are interchangeable.  

Rabbits

ARG investigation

Not as horror focused as Terry Miles’ other shows, the cringe is dialed down and the show is better for it. Tanis and The Black Tapes are more well known, I think the only reason more people don’t think about this one is because the first two don’t inspire trust in the production or narrative quality of this show, but I remember it being fine for a season. I have not gone back to catch up now that more is out.

Malevolent

Horror

Inspired by The King in Yellow, one man performs two voices and verbally abuses himself with aplomb. Having a blind main character with an extra voice in his head is a frame story I haven’t heard yet (unless it came up in the magnus archives and I don’t remember), the concept works out great for the frame of a podcast to deploy the environmental imagery that foley cannot communicate. It also prevents the podcast trope of lengthy exposition about visual surroundings from sounding awkward or potentially impacting someone’s character development to show setting.

Wolf 359

Comedy, science fiction

A crew of whacky characters is stuck in deep space, hanging out and researching a star. Since that’s not actually very interesting they crack jokes and fuck around for a slow burn until interesting stuff happens. Good but not great, this one is long and satisfying and a bit less heavy than all the horror this medium often focuses on. Decent production quality.

The White Vault

Found footage horror

I lost patience with this podcast even though the overarching story seemed very cool – it progresses very slowly yet appears to grow bigger and more confusing instead of deigning to answer basic questions for a frustratingly long drag through the first four seasons. I worry that this frustration may be the point and the Patreon gated stories are the drivers for this tendency towards the confusing patchwork of ideas this show communicates. The production quality is good though.

The Left Right Game

Found footage horror

Genuinely great reddit creepypasta got turned into an overproduced podcast – I say “over” in comparison to the voice acting quality because it’s kind of impossible to sell some of the lines, which makes sense considering the source. Brief, complete, punchy, interesting, and just a little odd to hear such a clean production but a creepypasta this fun deserves the effort.

Wooden Overcoats

Comedy

Surprisingly good production quality for its age, and also a refresher from the usual tropes of the medium. Just a chill sitcom about a funeral parlor in a small town. I haven’t finished this 4 season show yet but its good.

The Black List Table Reads

Movie script readings

Some movie scripts just short of making the cut to be turned into a full Hollywood production were well liked enough by a group of film nerds that sat down to act them out as a podcast. Half of the episodes are interviews with screenwriters, and the other half see a script read all the way through by actors. They’re all rejected for different reasons so there’s a pretty broad spread of genres. My favorites were Blood From a Stone and Balls Out.

[twig-tea]

10[ish] BL Boys People I Want Carnally

Tagged by @bengiyo who knows I am bad at short lists but also went over 10 on his own list, so everyone should just...not count as you scroll lol. Also warning that in the spirit of this tag game I am probably thirstier here than I've ever been on this site so if that isn't your jam, just scroll along!

BL characters who I absolutely Would, if given a chance (no homewrecking, we're playing by the rules of no-strings-no-relationship-just-getting-wrecked).

Mawin (Ingredients the Series)

Is it cheating to choose a character who basically is Jeff Satur? Maybe. But he's a musician with strong hands and emo hair and I am weak.

Dr. Jedi (Oxygen the Series)

I know we all blocked the doctor subplot from our minds. But this man was quiet, caring, and thirsting for years, he's got some pent-up aggression to get out and I volunteer as tribute. Also he's both extremely competent and a sad boi, two qualities I find very attractive. And that spiky hair is begging to be pulled.

Choi Yu Na (Semantic Error)

While the boys were running around being their messy selves, Yu Na was being a calm, competent, bisexual queen. The embodiment of "do I want to do her or be her", but in this case the answer is definitely both. Guh. I legitimately can't sentence when she's on the screen.

Gumpa (Not Me the series)

This show is of course filled with attractive men. But only one of them has built a found family and resistance group in his garage and was the only one who knew White wasn't Black, and look we've already established that competence is a kink of mine.

Namo (Not Me the series)

Ok but also Namo was smart enough to Not Get Involved, and she was artistic, and also gave off a kind of sad boi energy, and goddd her style in this. She wouldn't even need to do anything except let me worship her, I would do all the work.

Naruse Ryu (Ossan's Love: In the Sky)

Controversial but NGL one of the troubles I had with this AU S2 was that Naruse was so attractive I just wanted him to get laid and be happy. He's a competent, beautiful, confident, slightly bratty sad boi who isn't afraid to put you where he wants you; we could have fun.

YoonWon (The Eighth Sense)

This woman holds together the whole swim club, casually drinks everyone under the table, and gets her man, all while taking absolutely nothing seriously for most of the show. She can get me first.

Tua Phee (Dear Doctor, I'm Coming For Soul)

Tall, brooding, competent, caring, sad boi....clearly I have a type. Plus, he literally disappears, guaranteeing no complications.

In (180 Degrees Longitude)

OK YES I SEE A THEME [Note: Wang could also get it but I don't know if I could match his energy. In, on the other hand, this man looks like he jackhammers until you're done and then stares at a wall].

Yamato Kumai (Restart Tadaima no Ato De)

Please, no wonder Mitsuomi saw him and immediately latched on like a limpet. He's just the right amount of listless that he'd be down for whatever, but not enough that he wouldn't get into it.

Maya (Laws of Attraction)

The choice between Rose and Maya was EXCRUCIATING but while both could step on me, Maya would also let me step on them and I am nothing if not verse. Also the tattoos! And again do I need to repeat: Musicians have strong fingers.

Sunny (Our Dating Sim)

Extremely queer-coded, quiet, competent, tall, sad boi energy, would definitely tell me what she wants and expect that I meet her standards.

Kim (Diary of Tootsies)

NGL I love Natty in this show but she got elbowed out of the way by this man. We know from the show he has game, and we've already established I'm here for verse behaviour. Let's all ignore that he also has floppy hair.

Jay (Discipline Z: Vampire)

This was a close call with Ji Han (tall, floppy dark hair, sad boi, competent, we all know the drill by now) but in my heart of hearts honesty, when I think of Jay in her giant boots and her hacking skills I drool a little.

Daisy (Secret Crush on You)

I admit I don't usually prefer the 'innocence ready to be moulded' as a thing, but Daisy walks that confident/lack of confidence line so well that I think once they were comfortable we'd have fun and they could use me for practice all they want. [This is one in particular where I would 100% be down for a threesome. These two would not let you feel like a third wheel!]

Nawin (Laws of Attraction)

This is the man who defies all my rules and in breaking them is extremely hot. He's unhinged. He's massively entitled. He's baby. He's exactly the type to get obsessed after a one night stand. He's not particularly effective. AND YET. When he runs on screen covered in blood, wearing bloody knuckles, with a massive dorky grin on his face? Everything in me said IN ME (at least he has floppy hair, I am still predictable in one way).

ALRIGHT I'M STOPPING THERE.

tagging @wen-kexing-apologist @sorry-bonebag; @sparklyeyedhimbo; @respectthepetty; @isaksbestpillow; @slayerkitty; @wanderlust-in-my-soul

[almostgenerallyalways]

tgm fic recs

@stcverogers tagged one of my fics in a rec list yesterday and i thought it was such a good idea, i wanted to share some of my own favs

in no particular order:

* * *

hangman 

one time thing // kiss the sun (fight the fire) // love that’s a real long shot  He nods again like that’s exactly what he expected you to say. “I think you’re wrong. Doesn’t matter now though, does it?” i would rec anything by @callsignvalley but this is probably the series that got me most. i also love tailspin and its rooster follow up steady

california coast in your green eyes // i’ll carry my bags just until i can hold you again (2 different series) Bob’s older sister gets the news that his plane went down during a training drill, and shows up at the hospital at the same time as an arrogant pilot. //  Six months after they break up, Jake shows up at Julie’s Family thanksgiving. A second chance holiday romance with fake dating, family drama, and fall festivities. @theharddeck these fics, esp carry my bags, feel so so real and human to me, i love julie and the characterisation of jake feels so on point i also love her series out of the clear, blue sky as well as kinda might, sorta like, love you a little bit + its follow ups

i’ve been holdin’ out so long (4 part series) You can’t stand Hangman, but your dreams lately say otherwise. He notices. @steadfastconviction i adore Bluegrass and her sass

do not engage (series) You hate Hangman. Really, you do... Or so you like to think, until it begins to seem like that distaste might not be as strong as you’d prefer to believe. @clints-lucky-arrow the entire f&f universe is great but Duchess especially is a badass

afterburn (series) It had been clear from the moment you got inside a cockpit that you were going to be something special. You certainly weren’t the youngest Naval Aviator to be invited to TOPGUN, but you had been the youngest to graduate at number one in more than thirty years. Which is all the more reason why it was so tragic that you would never, ever, be able to fly again. @top-hhun is a master of setting a scene

the off-season (series) It was supposed to just be one summer. But somehow you found yourself living in your grandparent’s Maine vacation house indefinitely. It was quiet when the summer tourists left, but tolerable. That was, until your brother’s friend from college needed a place to crash and he somehow wound up staying in your guest bedroom. Also indefinitely. @ereardon just started this series but i’m so into this world (au) already

fuck (the universe) (series) You’re a Kazansky–Tom “Iceman” Kazinsky’s youngest daughter–and you’ve taken after your father and become a Naval aviator. You finished at the top of your class at Top Gun and have worked diligently and fruitlessly to get to where you are now: North Island. You don the call-sign Wisteria not only because the beauty of the flower but because of its lethal qualities. i mention @roosterbruiser below bc i read landslide first but holy fuck indeed

* * *

rooster 

landslide (series) It’s been almost three years since the accident that took half of her, and Faye “Clover” Ledger seems fine, really. She loves her old house, she has a perpetually expanding vinyl collection, she’s got a job she likes on base, and she is only a short drive from the beach. She’s grounded--literally. @roosterbruiser landslide is one of those fics i have to read in little bits because it’s just too good. beautiful writing that just transports me (and i love faye, she may be the most developed fanfic oc i’ve ever read - and I love her taste in music)

baby let’s play house // pt 2  you got yourself in trouble. bradley has a bit of a savior complex. together, you come up with what could potentially be the worst idea in the longstanding and illustrious history of bad ideas. @seasonsbloom i just really love this fic, it shows all the quietest best parts of bradley

first impressions  at the induction day for the newest recruits of the Golden Warriors of VFA 87, rooster assumes you’re a civilian, instead of, you know, a member of his team? you see how far you can push it before he figures it out.  @ohcaptains‘s pilot in this fic is the badass bitch i wish i could be. as well as fucking funny.

like i can (series) After yet another bad date and tired of swiping on apps, the Dagger Squad steps in to help you out by setting you up on a series of blind dates. Much to Rooster’s dismay. @sometimesanalice perfect blend of cute, funny and heartmelting

* * *

bob 

he’s so pretty (when he goes down on me) // pt 2  things between you and Bob are strictly business: he’s your backseater, and that’s all there is. @seasonsbloom‘s writing is so good it made me want to try writing fic myself

* * *

hangman x rooster

we’re fools to make war In a Walmart at three am, between beef jerky and tortilla chips, with the lights flickering above them like it’s the fucking twilight zone, Bradley wants him more than he’s ever wanted anyone. or: it's a hundred degrees in texas. i can’t find a tumblr link for this but the writer is @baroness-elsa. this is 66k words and i read it in two days which probably says enough. holy shit.

* * *

there are many many more (this fandom is FULL of talented writers, damn) but this already took me an hour so that’ll be part 2 haha

[snugglesquiggle]

right, pinned posts

the main thing i've been working on lately is Hostile Takeover, a longform murder drones fanfic about a lesbian killer robot torn between her directives and her own needs. i've been taking a break from that to write Of Commodified Contradiction, a series of shorts focused on the same pairing

my most extensive work, though, is the many writing about Black Nerve, a dark fantasy setting with giant insects wield magic that dissolves life and matter, mutant bat-blood and of course esoteric fungi. there's a couple of novels and LOT of lore posts

i have a website which is probably the best place to see all of my stuff:

but to get a taste of what you can find on that site, keep reading

most people are probably following me for my murder drones stuff.

as mentioned, i write the critically acclaimed J/Uzi fic, Hostile Takeover:

it's a beyond-novel-length enemies to lovers slowburn, and distinguishes itself by pulling it all off without heavy alteration to canon characterization.

most people are probably put off by the tagged ship, but i've received numerous comments to the effect of "i never liked this ship" or "i didn't think it could be done" followed by "but you somehow pulled it off".

give it a shot!

besides that, i've read a lot of murder drones fanfic, and maintain a page on my website dedicated to indexing and reviewing fics that i'd recommend

several of the people following me are writers, who may be interested in know that i've written several essays on the craft of writing. people tend to find them pretty insightful!

i've written many stories other than Hostile Takeover. you can find them on my site; there's too many to list, but in general, i write nonhuman character near-exclusively. (my friends were only so surprised when i became obsessed with murder drones)

still, HT is my most successful work for a reason, and i'm not certain fans of that will enjoy my earlier writing; i have reservations about recommending most of them. A Chimerical Hope is still cool, i think, though its issues are undeniable

the majority of my site is dedicated its overarching setting: Black Nerve, a dark fantasy world of giant sapient insect ninjas and corrupting fungus and gruesome mutagenic blood magic. there's so much going on there that i just cant get into all of it here. not even sure where you should begin reading

lore posts like "In Dialogue With Plagues", or "Lardsuckers and (What Were) Grubsuckers" give you a taste of just how freaky the setting is, and i think "The Duality of Mantis" is a great look at the weird psychology of the dominant species. but there's so many articles i can't list them all

writing is probably what i've done the most of, but i have other skills :3

i've released four albums of electronic music on bandcamp:

and there's more!

i'm sometimes an artist, and there's gallery on my site with over three hundred pieces i've drawn over the years. i mostly draw these weird alien dudes i invented, plus a lot of praying mantises and dragons and pokemon. quality varies a lot and i'm bad about staying in practice, but here are some pieces i think turned out rather well

ok, now is that it?

well, mostly. i have some poetry that's neat, and i recently produced a game demo that's shaping up into something interesting:

but now, that's probably everything of serious note.

if you read through all of that, i love you. thank you for your time and i hope there's something here you appreciated

[fourteenfifteen]

may i request some friends at the table fic recs? i haven’t ventured really into the tag

HELLO ANON yeth you can.

i am not an expert and have not read everything but i have some faves! which i will sort by season for your convenience : ] also i have not finished sangfielle so i can't help you there lo siento. if you want more fics i would say a good place to start is @arwainian's fic marathon project. he has been reading everything in the tag and recommending things as he goes there's probably as many recs as u could want right there

ALSO stating at the top that i also write fic! not going to rec any of mine but i'm kind of a hottie i won't lie to u so that's there

OK recs under the cut

these are not in any particular order within seasons!

pzn/pld [at the top bc i have a palisade fic agenda]:

bad endings by elanoides

the stellar combustor arc but a time loop. amazing writing and an instant fave as soon as i read it. i mean come on dude it's a time loop fic come onnnnnnnn

i will reveal you by rozecrest

a recent addition to the tag that i really liked very fun brnine/gucci fic. where's that post about wanting every fic to also be a literary analysis essay that's me rn

use you as a focal point by joeysnowy

theeee crysanth/SI fic which ok it's a niche market but this is just a great one

party 2nite @ bc, rsvp capt. kb by fangirl_squee

VERY fun fic where the blue channel hosts a halloween party. i was giggling bro i won't lie to you

tm:

the cat who got the whipped cream by bluecloak

how often do you get to say that the most kudosed fic in a tag totally earns that in terms of quality? lovely and funny and absolutely gorgeously written

my place to land by lady_mab

yes it's the longest fic in the tag yes it's worth the time. total au that still manages to hit that tm vibe

as many times as it takes to get it right by theorangewitch

i just read this for the first time within the last couple weeks and oof it's a great one. very funny and creative and sweet reincarnation fic

excerpts/yours/beloved/signet.asmblg by kalcifer

signet and belgard twine fic!! great shit this one goes out to all the divine likers

c/w:

rising water by yellow

in lieu of a summary i'm just going to say that i'm actively not a cassmako person but i have read this fic a dozen times

light up the way by harpydora

damn i love these crazy kids. very good fix it fic for the ppl who cried at the end of counter/weight (everyone i assume)

hieron/marielda:

moving shadows / moving light by waveridden

uhh ok so do you know the reality show naked and afraid. ephrim and throndir on that. my secsam gift from last year which was a PRIVILEGE

champions of the world by fangirl_squee

an elaborate hieron hockey au longfic. very cozy and well-thought out

presque vu by fangirl_squee

ok this one is odd and hard to describe but very cool. genuinely have read very few fics like it. read if you like: hieron's tone, weird aus, and magical realism

and i follow just to find you by angstandcaffeine

oh my godddd i love this fic. the cw's supernatural WISHES

the killing of the king god's car by the traitor prince maelgwyn by thunder_rolled_a_six

a total classic that probably everyone would recommend to you. marielda high school au but ok i don't usually like that kind of thing so trust me on this one

fits and starts by luckydicekirby

augh. oh my god. does anybody else like crying. totally amazing samfam fic that really digs into god weirdness in a way that i love and also yeah it broke my heart

making something new by harpydora

love the samol characterization in this one also i just think it's fun

other?:

who put love in my head? by kaynara

does anybody else remember half past and flashback and absolute territory? no just me? ok well in any case this fic is so fun and the character voices are so great

ok that feels like a good list! i could absolutely generate a dozen more but i'll leave it there lol generally i will say the fic generated by this fandom is pretty high quality and you'll have a decent experience just looking around in the tag like there's some good stuff in there. worth taking a chance on things (esp recent stuff!)

[peach-and-bugs]

❤️Natalie Scatorccio SFW Alphabet❤️

❤️Read the NSFW Alphabet here!❤️

Fanfiction master list

disclaimer: don't repost my work. I only post on Tumblr and on Ao3. anything else is stolen and should be removed immediately

Warnings: Brief mentions of sex/sexual themes, but nothing in-depth/detailed, mention of drug use/overdose

Word Count: 2,151

A/N: Hello loves! I'm here with the first of Natalies two alphabets, starting with her SFW alphabet! honestly, Nat is a hard one for me to capture because I don't want her to sound like she's a bad partner, but the reality is that she probably wouldn't be a great one. Thats about all I have to say though so as always, feel free to leave questions or comments in my comments or ask box, and happy reading!❤️

Natalie Scatorccio Tag List:

Yellowjackets Tag List: @frasersgf

General Tag List: @summergeezburr

-❤️-

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Natalie isn’t naturally all that affectionate these days. Well, not exactly at first glance. It’s something that would take her some time to get into. She’d not be one for small talk or offering you surprise gifts. However, her love language is quality time. She’d prefer sitting quietly in the same room as you or having a lowkey night out for dinner rather than anything too extravagant. She’s also a physical touch enjoyer, though she keeps it minimal. She’ll offer small touches now and then, like a trailing of her fingertips over your hip as she moves past you or a soft peck to your scalp when she isn’t thinking about it. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

Natalie isn’t going to initiate a friendship. She’s more likely to get involved with people out of convenience than anything else. Say you frequent the same bar as her often enough, then maybe a relationship would form from there as you slowly learn new tidbits about one another with each drink.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

She isn’t all that into it, but if you like it she won't argue. She just might not wrap herself around you like you would with her. The farthest she goes is an arm over your shoulders or an arm wound around your back. She’s not very touchy-feely after all, but when she does let herself care for you she’ll become more lenient over time. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Oh, hell no. Natalie is not the domestic type, try as she might. She doesn’t like consistency in her life ans she needs things to be different and moving. A sedentary life is out of the question for her, and the worst part of that is it’s not her fault. No matter how hard she could try, a domestic life would eventually bore her. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

She’d be very upfront and blunt about it. She’d not into relationships in the first place and never really has been, so while a breakup is going to be awkward and uncomfortable, I don't see her having an issue with the actual act of breaking up. However, if she's in a situation like her and Travis, it’s going to be so rough and might send her spiraling, which is honestly when she fights so hard against making those kinds of bonds.  

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

This girl is not committing. Like before, she doesn’t want to make those kinds of strong bonds with people out of fear of ultimately hurting or pushing them away, so marriage is out of the question unless she has a complete 180 that I'm not expecting and seeks out a lot of therapy to get over her trust and commitment issues. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Emotionally, she's hard and blunt. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything and tells it how it is. But surprisingly, she does have quite a gentle yet hesitant hand. It’s likely due to what she’s done with those same hands in her past, but it goes to show that she still has a softness within her. She doesn’t want to hurt people. It’s just kind of easy for her. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

She aint a hugger. Her hugs are stiff and awkward and there is no way for her to relax. But she’ll endure it if she cares. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

If she had it her way, she wouldn’t. But if she does feel so inclined, it'll take a long time. And I mean a long time, mostly because she doesn’t know if she means it. She likely wouldn’t say it till you have more times over, because she needs the assurance that she’s reading the situation correctly. 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

If she’s attached she gets jealous. She doesn’t like sharing. But if what youve got going on is strictly casual, she couldn’t give a shit. She’s probably doing things with other people too. However, if by some strange majesty she does feel some claim over you oh how the jealousy would burn. She’d become brash and mildly aggressive with whoever thought it was a good idea to come on to you and would pull you away, likely to a corner of some kind to make sure you were both on the same page when it comes to your relationship. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

I can only describe her kisses as firm, but let me explain. Natalia has never been the soft type. She takes what she wants and puts her foot down without hesitation, and some of that is reflected in her physicality, one being her kisses. She’s in control and makes sure her partner is aware of that, and what better way to do that than by demeaning her when you kiss her? Her kisses often devolve into gnashing teeth and puffy, red lips.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

She's not as bad as she could be, but she’ll never have any. Poor thing didn’t have anyone to raise her, so there is no way in hell that she feels she’s capable of raising a kid herself. However, that being said, she’s pretty good with kids. Well, older kids to be exact. She has no idea what to do with a baby. But once they’re old enough that she can teach them the reality of the world and how to properly swear she becomes the awesome, fun aunt that takes you out for joyrides and ice cream when mom/dad said not to have sweets before dinner. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Natalie doesn’t get up at least till noon and that's on a good day. The only exceptions are for fresh coffee, breakfast, or morning sex. Other than that, she’d stayed splayed out under the covers for as long as she can. This often results in a headache from sleeping too much, but that’s nothing a little advil can't fix after all. It’s nearly impossible to get her up early, and if you do she won't be happy about it, so don't bank on her joining in on brunch plans.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Natalie would stay out all night if she could. She loves the nightlife and all the little things that come with it, like meeting new people once who will become shadows in her mind, the drinking, and the loud music found in clubs. She’d love to take you out, and honestly, it's far more fun going out when she’d got arm candy to strut around and show off

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

She keeps practically everything close to her chest. Learning anything about Natalie is like pulling teeth. She’d remain a complete mystery to you if that was possible. Often a new fact about her is either dropped out of nowhere by her or someone else reveals something which requires a more lengthy and irritated explanation from Natalie herself. You're more likely to learn about her by talking to her friends, and even then its a challenge

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

This woman’s fuse is shorter than a stick of dynamite. She blows up at the smallest inconvenience, and often that gets projected onto those close to her, both physically and emotionally. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they forget everything?)

Girlfriend isn’t the best with her memory, however, now and then she surprises you with some tiny tidbit that you likely didn't even mention remembering. That's what she thinks about, the small stuff. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

I think a fond memory she’d hold onto is watching you dance. Seeing that pure joy on your face, laughing with a drink in hand as you move with whatever music might be playing. It would be an even fonder memory if you convinced her to dance with you

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

She plays coy like she doesn't care, your actions are your own. But best be ready for if she's ever around when someone treating you in any way she may deem as wrong. She has a very serious justice complex and is not afraid to cut a bitch or throw hands when she needs to. And that is extremely sexy of her if you ask me,

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, and everyday tasks?)

Probably not a lot because she's not really into those kinds of things. She seems like the type to settle into a comfortable routine ans stick to it. If there's a restaurant you both like, that’s where you nearly always go when you feel like having a dinner out. She gets kinda weird about trying new things sometimes, but if you’re gentle enough she’ll do her best. That's where her efforts go in trying to be more flexible for those she cares for. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

She cant communicate for shit and she’s notorious for the disappearing act, which is when she doesn't text or call for some time. It could be because she doesn't feel like it, you got into an argument, she's feeling out of it. Anything that could set her off will hinder her ability to communicate how she feels and what she needs, and it's frustrating for her. She doesn't like feeling or needing

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

She’s not vane in any regard. She's stuck with most of her teenage style, which is probably a comfort thing at this point to avoid further change. She's the type to wear the same outfit more than twice in a row and that's valid 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

I think that depends. Recently (in the last few episodes of season 2) we've seen a shift in her. I think over time there might be a chance of her growing to the point where she’s ok being a little dependent on someone else, but if we’re looking at Natalie at the start of the series id have to say no. at that point, she didn't want to hold on to that kind of relationship or bond with someone else. But now I think there could be a possibility for her. Again that’s after girlfriend has a lot of therapy. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

She has chronic nightmares of her partner dying, specifically from overdose even if her partner doesn’t use whatsoever

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like in general or in a partner?)

I think she’d be against someone hellbent on trying to change her. Yes, there is room in her character for growth, but sometimes people look at that room and see it as a challenge. Natalie should be in complete control of her growth and development for betterment. But to do that she needs both hands on the wheel and maybe a partner in the passenger seat reading over the map. Control of her person is a huge thing for her. She can't have someone trying to take that over from her, even if it's with completely positive intentions

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Natalie seems like the type to be very reserved and to herself in her sleep. She doesn’t like touching and will often roll over and face away at night. I also think that she runs hot, so it's common for covers to be thrown off of her at night and I doubt she wears a lot of clothing when she’s going to sleep except for when she comes home after a long night out. We've seen it before, she's willing to sleep in jeans if she’s tired enough

[fauxfickle]

Another month, another info dump of things you already know, or the search for "The Great All-American Pizza Show!"

Last time, we talked about the Citrus Heights commercial produced by Bob Wilkins Advertising Inc and it's potential showing at the Orinda Theatre. The bad news is that I don't know anyone from CA and I don't have anywhere near a big enough platform to spread the word. Was it there? Was it not? We'll never know! Good thing is that the Psychotronix Film Festival is putting on another show in May at Foothill College, also in CA.

But on to other news! I finally got a response from PBS about Ben Wattenberg's segment on PTT. They said they didn't have it so yeah...

I've been looking around for Ben Wattenberg's 1980 and PM Magazine listings on Ebay, hoping for maybe a DVD copy or something but nothing comes up. These aren't really my top priority since they aren't part of TGAAPS but it helps me from burning out looking at a million commercials

Let's move onto the real meat and potatoes, the ads themselves. Starting with the Citrus Heights commercial, I've been doing research on Bob Wilkins' ad company and you'd be surprised how scarce info is on it. His obituary states that he made ads not only for PTT, but Lay-Z-Boy as well. This newspaper from 1981 says that his agency makes over $1M annually and was doing "amazingly well" which makes it all the more stranger that there's so little documentation of it. I also found a house in Oakland, that was used by the company at some point. I won't link the house, the company is so far removed from it and I don't want the people living there to be bothered. Something funny I found while looking on other search engines for traces of BW's agency is that Bing's AI assistant literally uses my post as a source. It's surreal seeing the info I wrote be regurgitated back at me by an AI. Weird...

Now the animated ad! I'll admit, I've been slacking a bit when it comes to looking for this ad, however I found 3 people on Linkedin that worked for Colossal Pictures during the late 70s. Also found out that Adam Savage from Myth Busters worked for (C)P at some point. Hmm, having your company initials be CP wasn't the smartest move in hindsight. Maybe that's why they added the parenthesis.

Something that wasn't found by me :( was a storyboard for one of the live action commercials. From what I've heard, it was posted in the showbizpizza.com discord server and spread from there. In the bottom left it says UBC which I can't really link to anything. I thought maybe it could be a production company, or an acronym, but I've got nothing. Maybe it just says Inc. Bottom right isn't much better, it's completely illegible and the first page of the storyboard is in even worse quality. An exciting find for sure, but not one that really helps me.

Or so I thought! In the end card it says (location tag), not just "Kooser and Blossom Hill". Unlike the radio ad, nothing in here denotes any sort of specific location like having a certain guest star or cabaret act. Sure it uses the Winchester bots, Kooser bots, and Mopsey sisters but people aren't really going to pay attention to whether the backup singers are mops or crows and they probably wouldn't even notice the small diffences between the portrait bots and a cyberamic in a 60 second ad.

Here's my big theory though. Oh yeah, we're getting conspiratorial! Someone asked me about that forum post I discovered that mention a PTT jingle from 1978 - 1980. Way back in my first post, I found that this person was most likely from the Detroit area, and probably didn't see the ads that I thought at the time were only in the Bay Area and aired during early 1980. I thought that because the ads ended around spring and the first store to open in MI was around November, this person was simply misremembering the "Smile America" ads from 1982. It's been a few months, and in that time I've learned probably more than any sane person should know about this campaign, and while looking at the store lists on the Cheese-e-pedia after that person mention the post, I realized something that made me feel like a complete idiot. The first PTT to open in MI was in Westland. I looked up where that was, and low and behold, Westland is A SUBURB OF DETROIT. I felt so stupid but also really happy that this tiny detail actually meant something. My theory is that maybe, just maybe, one of, if not a few of these ads were aired outside CA with the location tags edited for each store. PTT has done that before, so I feel it's not totally out of the picture for them to have done it few years earlier. If this is true, then it expands this search from just CA to Nevada, Utah, Texas, Arizona, Ohio, Colorado, North Carolina, and of course, Michigan.

I still want to keep most my searching in the Bay area, but I think this could lead to exciting things. Or I could be delusional, who knows? Until next time!

[library-ghoulette]

day 3 // temperature play

Prompt list thanks to @kroas-adtam 💜

Pairing: Copia x reader

Rating: Explicit, minors DNI

Words: 1245

Tags: second person POV, gender-neutral reader, long-distance relationship, swearing in Italian, temperature play, ice, nipple play, oral sex

Summary: A heatwave and broken AC threaten to derail your romantic weekend with Copia, until you come up with a way to cool him down.

A/N: I kept this one vague so that you can imagine whichever era of Copia is your favorite. <3

Read beneath the cut or on ao3!

"It's so fucking hot," Copia moans. But unfortunately, not in a good way.

It was supposed to be a nice, romantic long weekend, and a much-needed one. Long-distance relationships are hard, and there are only so many gaps that good morning texts and filthy Facetime sessions can fill before the longing sets in, for both of you.

So when Copia had cleared time in his schedule to come visit, you were thrilled. He would be all yours for three days. No work distractions, just all of the domestic closeness you crave and so rarely get to enjoy. Sharing home-cooked meals, snuggling on the couch in front of the TV, falling asleep and waking up in his arms. And yes, as much sex as you could possibly fit in.

Too bad this weekend happened to coincide with the worst heatwave your area has experienced all year. Too bad that the air conditioning in your building chose the moment it had to die—right after you left to pick Copia up from the airport, so that by the time the two of you got back, all giddy and handsy and eager to get one another alone for a proper reunion, your whole apartment had been stifling.

Now you're both lying side-by-side on your bed, on top of the fitted sheet, stripped down to your underwear. Even though the sun has long since set, it's still miserably hot, too hot to fuck, too hot to even touch each other, too hot to sleep, too hot to live.

Copia rolls his sweat-drenched face toward you on the pillow. "When did they say they're coming to fix it?"

You had called maintenance as soon as you realized the problem, but they'd said it was too late to send anyone—their crew had already gone home for the evening.

"Tomorrow morning."

"Ugh," he groans. "Porco Dio, I'll have sweated my balls off by then…"

He turns away, swearing under his breath as you stare up at the ceiling fan that stirs the stagnant air but provides little relief. Annoyance flashes through you at his sour mood. After all, you're suffering, too. You might have considered sleeping in the bathtub or on the kitchen floor—probably the coolest surfaces in your apartment—if you hadn't known that it would be absolute murder on your back.

The kitchen… The thought has you reaching over for the glass of ice water on your nightstand, and, finding it empty, you heave yourself out of your damp bed in search of a refill. Along the way, you tip the mostly-melted remains of the last few ice cubes into your mouth, crunching them between your teeth, relishing the chill.

You return to bed, perching on the edge of the mattress with one leg curled beneath you, and take a steadying sip of water. Copia sits up on his elbows to face you, contrite.

"Tesoro, I'm sorry I'm so grouchy. You know how I get. Forgive me?"

You do know. For all his good qualities, your lover tends toward hot-headedness and impatience, at times snappish and downright bitchy when things do not go his way. But he's also quick to apologize, to give you that sincere, puppy-dog look that he's giving you now, the one that has you telling him that it's okay and leaning down to kiss him.

He yips in surprise. "Your mouth is so cold!"

"Sorry."

"No, don't be," he says. "Feels good."

"Oh?"

You set your glass of ice water back on your nightstand, but not before slicking both of your hands with condensation and taking another swallow of water. Then you kiss him again, sliding your chilled tongue against his, bringing your hands up to cradle his face. You run your fingers along his jawline and down his neck, your touch eliciting a shiver.

"Still good?" you ask.

He nods, eyes all heavy-lidded in the aftermath of your kiss. "Very."

"Hmm. Lie down. I have an idea."

You straddle his hips. Your sweaty skin sticks against his and squelches when you lean forward to fish an ice cube from your glass and then settle yourself back down. He rests his hands lightly on top of your thighs and gazes up at you. He's gorgeous like this—his graying hair disheveled and curling damply around his ears, his eyes filled with trust and affection and desire, the corner of his mouth twisted up in a curious little half-smile.

"Close your eyes."

He does, and you begin tracing the ice cube over his overheated skin. Over the back of his left hand and up his forearm, to start. Slowly, so slowly, testing his tolerance for the cold. Tracking his every moan and hissed intake of breath for signs of reluctance.

Finding none, you switch sides to repeat the process on his right arm. Goosebumps wash over his skin in the ice cube's wake, sweeping up over his shoulder and down across his chest. You skim the ice over the tattoo on his pec, using the edge to carefully trace each curve of the Mark of the Beast inked into his skin.

"Fuck," he sighs heavily.

You pull the ice away. "Everything okay?"

His hands tighten their grip on your thighs. "Don't stop."

You return to your work, circling the ice around his right nipple, relishing the whimper that wells up in his throat. Then you lean forward, licking up the trail of water from the melting ice. His skin is salty with perspiration, his nipple pebbled beneath your tongue. When you draw it into your mouth and suck, his hips buck helplessly, driving his growing hardness up against you.

When you rise up to switch to the other nipple, you find him craning up to watch you. His pupils are blown wide, his jaw dropped open in an expression of disbelieving pleasure. You could tell him to close his eyes again, to lie back down, but you let him watch, holding his gaze steadily as you dip down to lick a stripe across his skin. Until it's too much for him to maintain eye contact, and he throws his head back onto the pillow with a groan.

The ice cube is wearing down. It's small enough now to easily pop into your mouth. Hands freed, you shift backward and hook your fingers beneath the waistband of his underwear, dragging the fabric down. His swollen cock pops free from the waistband to smack against his lower belly, and his legs part instinctively, his hips straining up toward you, seeking any contact you might choose to grant him.

You ignore his cock for the moment, keeping the ice in your mouth and pressing your lips to the sensitive spot just below his navel, before moving lower to trail freezing, open-mouthed kisses over the creases between hip and thigh. His moans have taken on the timbre of desperation by the time you sit up, kneeling between his splayed legs with your hands braced against his inner thighs.

You rake your eyes over him, considering the needy mess you've reduced him to with satisfaction. You swirl the last little bit of the ice around your mouth, letting it melt completely as it chills your tongue and the insides of your cheeks.

You quirk a mischievous eyebrow at him. "What was that you said about sweating your balls off?"

He yelps when you bring your cold mouth down to him. The heat is the last thing on his mind now.

[detailtilted]

Sample of Upcoming "Enhanced Edition" CHICON 2007 Solo Jensen Panel

This sample was removed when I updated the full video with drastically improved video quality. I did not recreate the sample, but you can find the full video here.

Original post:

This is just a small, 1+ minute segment of a larger video that I’ll probably post next week.  Thanks so much to the people who watched, reblogged, and/or liked the CHICON 2007 Enhanced Edition Breakfast video!  It made me super happy to see some interest, and I know that was mostly thanks to those of you who managed to stumble across my obscure post and reblog it so people would actually see it.

I’ve started working on the main panels involving Jared and/or Jensen from the same convention.  Jensen’s solo panel is next sequentially, so that’s what this sample is from.  This clip was one of my favorite parts from his panel.  I’m including Jared and J2 in the tags because Jensen talks about working with Jared here.

If you don’t have any particular interest in the subtitles, you can skip the wall of text below.

On this sample, I used a much lighter color of blue for Jensen’s subtitles.  The more I looked at the shade I'd been using, the more I thought it was too dark to be read easily.  It became more apparent to me while working on his solo panel because there’s so much more of it.  I’d be happy to get opinions, good or bad.  I was really attached to the idea of using blue for Jensen and red for Jared because of their marker tape colors, and I’m pretty sure the previous shade of blue was more accurate in that regard, but it’s far more important to me that the subtitles be readable than that they be symbolic!

If people like this color better, I’ll go back and update the subtitles for the Breakfast video to use the same color for Jensen.  Subtitles are a separate file from the video, so it’s not too difficult to make changes and switch the subtitle file out without affecting the video itself. 

Speaking of which, feel free to let me know if you catch any errors with the subtitles and I’ll fix them.  Also, if there’s a subtitle that I marked as [inaudible] and you’re confident that you know what they said, let me know.  There were parts I marked as [inaudible] even though I felt sure I could guess what they’d said based on the context, but I couldn’t hear any sounds or see any mouth movements to clearly confirm it.  I tried not to put words in their mouths that they might not have said, and I didn’t want to force my own interpretation on anyone.  Sometimes though, there were places where I felt like I should have been able to figure out what they were saying but I just couldn’t get the sounds to make sense to my ears, so someone else might be able to hear those.  Other times, I would hear something for the umpteenth time, often when I was focusing on some other aspect of the video and not thinking about the subtitles at all, and suddenly it would seem blatantly obvious to me what they were saying.

As far as issues with the videos themselves, I can’t easily change them after I publish them because it would create a new video link on YouTube and I'd rather not create a confusion of links.  However, please do still feel free to let me know if you catch any errors in my added content.  I’ll keep a list of errata for my own notes in case I ever do have a reason to update the video.  If it’s particularly egregious, I can at least put a note in the video description. (And since this is a sample, if you catch any issues, I can fix it for the full version.)

[wutheringmights]

2023 Reading Wrap Up

I tried starting this post about 20 times already, and no introduction is really hitting. I am quite a bit hungover, and in dire need of a rest. But alas, I want to talk about all the books I read last year.

So I had the goal of reading as much as I physically could last year. Why? After finishing my degree, I was having trouble reading for the sake of reading. I wanted to be someone who read a lot, but my self-motivated reading habit was in the dumps. My sibling and I ended up making a bet to see who could read more in 2023, and I was determined to win.

I did win, but that's besides the point. My importantly, I am now back in the habit of reading again.

I really enjoyed starting my reading tag and making little write-ups summarizing my thoughts. I really appreciate everyone being so patient with my book-posting, especially as I gradually went from writing a sentence or two to rambling bullet point lists to well-thought out reviews. If you ever interacted with one of those posts-- thank you so much! I hope to continue in this upcoming year.

So to wrap up my year of reading, I figured I would rank all of the books I read. If I read an entire series, I'll count it as one entry on the list. Also, the ranking is going to be determined less by quality and more by personal enjoyment.

All that being said, let's go~

Ranking My 2023 Reads

#17) Breaking Time by Sasha Alsberg - This was my first read of the year, and my worst. This book is near unreadable in terms of prose, and features one of the most infuriating lines I have ever read in my entire life:

Add the most unoriginal plot I have ever seen, and this makes for one bad read. I knew it was going to be bad going on, but the levels of incompetency on display here was mind-boggling.

#16) Daughter of the Moon Goddess by Sue Lynn Tan - Is this the worst book I read this year? No. But it definitely pissed me off more than the others. I didn't need this book to be good; I just wanted it to be fun, but it couldn't commit to a plot line long enough to do so. I will give this book credit for having one of the unintentionally funniest villains I have ever read. That man failed upwards and it was GREAT. No notes.

#15) Ariadne by Jennifer Saint - I don't think this book is terrible, but its flaws are the most glaring to me. Structurally, it's a mess. The prose tries to use imagery to cover up how much telling it's truly doing. Both hampered an overall decent plot.

#14) Red, White, & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston - This book wasn't really for me. It was an entertaining read, but the references to pop-culture were more cringey than humorous. I also could not stand how the book was ashamed to be escapist literature and tried to uplift itself with shallow critiques of American politics.

#13) Lightlark by Alex Aster - That I am putting this book so high on the list is a crime and an insult against every book ranked below it. If I was ranking off of quality alone, it would be the second worst book I read this year. Unfortunately, I started an inside joke with my friends about how I'm Lightlark's #1 Fan, which ended up increasingly my enjoyment of this very stupid book exponentially. #TeamOro

#12) Garrison Girl by Rachel Aarons - This book really isn't anything special, but its place in publishing and anime history tickles my brain. It's not bad but it's not all that good either.

#11) The End of Everything: (Astrophysically Speaking) by Katie Mack - Someone with a more thorough baseline on science would probably find this book more enjoyable than me. As is, I didn't understand half of it.

#10) The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid - A fast, enjoyable read. I think it reveals its hand a bit too quickly, but the plot overall is really fascinating. Lacking on prose, but it didn't need a lot of it. This is a book begging to be made into a movie (which will probably be better than the book itself).

#9) A Thousand Ships by Natalie Haynes - What this book lacks in originality and plot, it makes up for with comprehensiveness. As much as I enjoyed reading all of its varied perspectives, I am still peeved by how Penelope's perspective was wasted and how Haynes had no interest in writing from Helen's perspective.

#8) The Broken Earth Trilogy by N.K. Jemisin - A prime example of a book series that is objectively excellent, but was simply not for me. My interests didn't align with what the narrative thought was important. However, the characters are fantastic and what there is of the central conflict between mother and daughter is earth shattering.

#7) The Poppy War Trilogy by R.F. Kuang - An incredible fantasy series with some excellent characters and ideas. While I do think that the series is a little simplistic, it makes up for it by being endlessly entertaining. Except for the last book, which leaned too heavily into its grimdark flares.

#6) Beowulf by Unknown (Translated by Seamus Heaney) - A reread featuring a fantastic introduction from Heaney that connects the text to his Irish roots. The translation itself, while good, prioritized brevity a bit too much for my taste.

#5) Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson - A long overdue reread that reaffirmed why I found this book life changing when I first read it in junior high. Lyrical, brutal, and surprisingly funny, this book paints an honest picture of depression and trauma in adolescence.

#4) In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado - A lyrical, dreamy exploration of an abusive relationship. I love how this memoir pushes the limits of its own medium as it also tries to establish a canon for abusive queer relationships. Machado's imagery is insane, and I devour it every time.

#3) The Catcher In the Rye by J.D. Salinger - My last and most surprising read of the year. I did not expect to love this novel as much as I do. I will never forgive the world for insisting that Holden Caulfield is an archetypal male manipulator when he's a traumatized kid (albeit a bratty one) who desperately wants to be feel happy.

#2) Children of Ash and Elm: A History of the Vikings by Neil Price - An incredible, comprehensive look on the history, culture, and legacy of the vikings. Price parses through popular fiction to bring humanity back to a historical group of people every subculture wants to claim as their own, for better and for worse. This book broke a damn in my head that was preventing me from doing world building for a piece of original fiction I want to write.

#1) The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas - I have been haunted by this book since I was a little kid, promising myself that I would one day gather the courage to read this behemoth of a story. As long as it is, every word was worth it. It was both parts entertaining and stimulating, and I ended by the book knowing why so many people call this the best book ever written.

--

And that was my year! Please feel free to share what you read this year. Let me know if there's anything I should try to read in 2024. You can also fight me about any of my opinions lol

[dragonomatopoeia]

Do you have any recommendations for zines?

I ended up writing a pretty long front-matter to this ask, so I've put it all under a Read More. If you only want the resources, feel free to skip to the end

So: I am always going to be a little too pedantic and autistic for a comprehensive, unambiguous rec list. Someone asked me what my favorite book was once, and it felt like my brain stalled and rebooted five times.

Don't get me wrong! I love putting specialized recommendations together, like puzzle-box mystery novels, or horror genre video games with thematic emphasis on grief, or documentaries on sewage treatment

But I am very, very bad at recommending general purpose Media full stop. alas I am a fussy and particular creature who hisses at five star rating systems on review websites because I think using the same Quality Metric regardless of genre and medium and purpose is Silly

Making recs gets even more difficult with things like zines, where they are small press by nature. A lot of my favorite zines are DIY projects with Very Small Distributions. One of my prized possessions is a small, hand-drawn zine of one hundred cats the artist drew with their eyes closed, which they gave to me for free because they liked my shirt. But that's a zine that means something to me because of circumstance and taste and my own ability to pick it up in person

Your mileage tends to vary with this stuff. If I found a Repo The Genetic Opera zine that ranks every organ in the human body, I have friends that would love that WAY more than I would, and I'd probably send it their way. If I found a zine about Gundam and gender and disability and idealized bodies that have been shaped into weapons, then I have dozens of friends I would need to send copies of it to, but that wouldn't make it any less niche. Zines are for VERY specific audiences. That's one of the best things about them!

That Being Said! There ARE popular, more-accessible, or more well-known zines and artists with broader appeal, and I mean that in an enthusiastic, complimentary manner.

I've even seen zines being advertised on my tumblr dashboard. Zines like:

Oh No! A kidpix zine by Louie Zong (Pay what you want- all proceeds donated to LA Foodbank)

Golem Zine is a publication by and for Jewish creatives living in areas where Jewish life is challenged. Their Out West issue sold out before I could grab a copy ($10 per issue, physical)

FYMA: A Lesser Key to the Appropriation of Jewish Magic & Mysticism goes hand in hand with the previous zine, I think (Pay what you want)

But you're more likely to get something that caters to your specific interests and artistic sensibilities by getting in touch with your community members, asking friends who have similar tastes, or checking out some of these resources:

Your Local Library (I'm being serious here-- your library likely has connections to local artists, galleries, resources, and e-resources that can set you on the path to zines you'll enjoy)

Any local art walk or small press events near you (your library can help you find these)

Itch.io's Zine Tag (Adding more tags will help you filter these)

Papercut Zine Library's Virtual Library

Internet Archive's Zine Collections

The DC Punk Archive Zine Library (Specific to punk and DIY interests, as you might imagine)

The Library of Congress Online Zine Web Archive Collection

QZAP (The Queer Zine Art Project)

POCZP (People of Color Zine Project-- and they're on tumblr!)

Hevelin Fanzine Collection (Literally a bunch of sci-fi, horror, and fantasy fanzines that were all collected by one guy which are now being digitized)

From Staple to Spine: A Compendium of Zine-Related Books (This doesn't have zines itself, but the books included can be a great starting point for where you should be looking and what will be of interest to you)

I also recommend making your own zine! It's fun to make things and put words and images on paper.

And if you downloaded the bundle for Racial Justice and Equality off itch.io, you already own the Electric Zine Maker (Warning for brightly colored, glitched, and moving visual elements that may cause eyestrain. I would also be wary if you're prone to migraines)

I know this has been a Lot and I got a bit carried away, but I hope that this helps you in your quest for finding cool, obscure art made by people who care deeply about niche topics. Personally, that's my favorite kind of art

[audio-luddite]

I did a browse of Tumblr "Audiophile".

OK weird.

Much of the stuff is photos of old stuff from brochures and magazines (like paper OMG). I guess some people kept all that stuff. Grandpa was a hoarder of audio mags? I see lovely ads for crap product. It was crap 60 years ago and still is today (like the BOSE 901). There are some bits showing good stuff but not much. And there are the confused people who don't understand obsession with vacuum tubes and LP records.

There are links to very artistic audio themed soft-core porn. Some are adds for console stereos draped with girls in lingerie. A good stereo will bring the girls in for sure. At least that was thought in the 60s? And there are people posing as golden ears. Some experts might be expert, but you gotta pay the bills no matter the crap information they put out. Number ten in this guy's top ten turntable list is pure crap now and forever.

I have even seen totally phony photo-shopped systems that I know could never exist. You know a turntable has to be at least a bit more than 12" across to fit an LP which is 12 inches in diameter. So that picture just don't scale right.

I guess in summary it is not much fun to look at that tag as there is so much dross.

If you are an audiophile then you probably know good from bad or want to. If you are just interested or new to this then there is a problem. There is a hell of a lot of misinformation conspiracy and noise.

First problem is the term audiophile. It means literally you love sound. The presumption is you appreciate the quality of sound. That is different than liking music in general, or some specific type of music. That would be a musicophile. All it takes is adding -phile to the end of a word.

So if you like music as opposed to just the sound of steam locomotives passing by and care for good clean sound then you are bumping up against this other -phile thing. Do not be intimidated. I assure you that listening to a favorite artist with all the sounds fully resolved and blasting away in your home is a good thing.

It is strange to me that people will spend a small fortune on a sound system for their car and far less in their home. Though I suppose if you live in an apartment loud music will make no friends, but being a big bass thumper in traffic is OK and even expected. Hey if you love that sound well sorry to tell you... yup audiophile.

Now to cost. There can be a lot of money spent. Some people will spend six figures restoring a car from when they were young. It is a hobby where it is possible to spend gobs of money. And there are many people, and companies who will help you spend your money.

You can spend much less and get good results. My equipment has only two relatively new things in it. One Phono Cartridge, and one vacuum tube. All the rest of the electronics are decades old. My speakers are a few years old but I built those as I know best. The cost has been interesting. By selling off older even collectable stuff I have spent effectively no money over the past 7 or 8 years. Yes I bought that stuff once long ago, but economically it was sunk money.

I have the advantage of experience and know the good stuff from the less good. I know what brands to look for. I also know which products have cults around them that blur the flaws. I call myself a "cheap audiophile" as I will not spend more than low four figures on anything. The most expensive thing I ever bought was under 2k bucks. Most was far less than that.

One of the links the tag search brought up was guy who did not understand why anyone would buy Vinyl Records. The equipment is expensive and the media is less available than digital streams. There was one reply about the tangible nature of an album and actually owning a thing rather than just being allowed to access it. I will go further.

I have avoided high end streaming because of cost and complexity. To get good sound out of numbers you need several lumps and most are expensive. You need a computer or a server that is logged into a provider like "tidal" or "qobuz" or "apple music". Then you need a device that can store the bits on a drive either an SSD or even a spinning magnetic disc to avoid drop outs that can be the music server, but not the computer. Then you need a DAC to convert the particular stream to analog sound which is finally fed into your audio system proper. Aside from the subscription (I have apple music) you need three lumps that each cost more than a good turntable if you want audiophile sound.

In order to add a high end streaming line to my system would cost more than the replacement cost of my system as it is right now. So I have a low end solution. I plug my Iphone into my CD player with a nice-ish DAC in it. It is OK sound. But I swear if I play an LP of the same music after hearing it off my iphone to CD quality there is no comparison the LP is better.

And yes when it comes to vacuum tubes I vacillate. They are expensive and wear out. They sound nice. They have more distortion and artifacts than solid state, but it is nice sounding distortion. A big part of this hobby skews preferences to nice sounding distortion. Vacuum tubes and moving coil phono cartridges are prime examples.

My most recent experience was going from a full vacuum tube preamplifer to a hybrid with only one tube. The sound was rich and deep and involving before. Yummy like a good sticky baklava dripping with honey. Now it is detailed and frankly palpable. I can hear a singer part their lips before a phrase. You have to hear that to appreciate it.

I have been recently been tempted with two vacuum tube unicorn amplifiers for a very good price for that type of device. That price is double what a competitive solid state amplifier would be. And like I say at the local pub after my fourth beer, I want another but I don't need another. I am seriously tempted. I have a nascent love for the sound I know is in them. They have a voice and it is good. Actually this is a key aspect of the hobby. It is an emotional response to something. It is irrational.

Welcome to the irrational!

[mushiemadarame]

↳ watch & rewatch drama list

@khaotunq tagged me, my sweet sweet bestie 💖

currently (actively) watching

609 Bedtime Story - technically on pause until I manage to find both final episodes. I was impressed at first and then it kind of lost me as it went on but I gotta know how it ends.

A Boss and A Babe - I hate this show's title but I love how surprising the second episode was for me. Wasn't super excited about it at first because most of the shows I've given up on halfway were by the same director but after episode two, I'm cautiously optimistic.

A Man Who Defies The World of BL - enjoying it a lot more than I thought I would! It's not my favourite, but I'm very curious about how it'll end now.

All The Liquors - Korea?!?! What is happening!!! I love how different this is so far, can't wait to see where it goes.

Bed Friend - this one came out of left field. I was NOT expecting it to go the places it's been going but I am not complaining, holy shit!

Chains of Heart - I understand nothing, I never know what's going on, I absolutely love it. I want it to stick the landing so bad.

Jack o'Frost - I love amnesia storylines, what can I say. Also it's intriguing so far.

Love Syndrome - Jesus Christ. Jesus Fucking Christ. I love garbage.

Midnight Museum - been LOOOOVING the early 2000s supernatural teen show vibes. Gun Atthaphan is always a win as far as I'm concerned and I'm doubly here for the queer vibes.

Once Again - also technically on pause. I took a break halfway 'cause I found out it doesn't have a super happy ending. Will finish it eventually.

Our Dating Sim - AAAAAHH!!!! just AAAAAAAAAAAAAHH! South Korean BLs have burned me so often right at the end, but I wanna believe in this one 'cause the mutual thing going on with neither (or more likely just one) of them not knowing has captivated me.

Past-Senger - too early to comment on quality, but I do love the premise! Let's hope it doesn't crash and burn.

The End of The World With You - why do I keep getting surprised by Japan putting out banger after banger is a mystery. I've been bracing for the emotional devastation of the finale for like five episodes. Can't wait to sob!

The Promise - this show inspires so much faith in me. I wanna believe in it, I wanna give it a million chances, and it hasn't disappointed me this far even though it hasn't been special either.

Tin Tem Jai - I don't want to be rude about it but this is bad. I don't know why I'm still watching.

As you can see, I'm watching an embarrassing amount of BLs at any given time.

rewatching

Love Mechanics

Not Me

Theory of Love

I don't really do rewatches but these three I'm always kind of in the middle of rewatching. And also,

KinnPorsche - I started a rewatch recently and I'm very very slowly working through it.

looking forward to

A Shoulder to Cry On - I saved this ages ago, I don't remember why but I'm excited all the same!

Cherry Magic (Thai version) - the one TayNew show I've seen I hated but somehow I'm unbelievably attached to them so this is exciting to me. Plus, I actually think Thailand could elevate this story which, for me, as far as the show is concerned, wasn't great.

Cooking Crush - I cried when they announced this 'cause I thought I'd missed my window to watch a new OffGun show as it aired. OFFGUN! OFFGUN! OFFGUN!

Last Twilight - I thought Vice Versa was a waste of the JimmySea chemistry, but I wanna believe in this one.

Laws of Attraction - I couldn't get through TSWL because it was too soap opera-y for me, but I heard wonderful things and this immediately caught my eye when I saw JamFilm would be working together again!

Middleman's Love - I was infinitely more excited when it was a Mii2 show but Yim has impressed me so much so far in Bed Friend that I'm looking forward to it again!

Only Friends - do I even need to say anything?? I think this is my most anticipated one this year, yes probably even more than Wuju Bakery.

Our Dining Table - I loved the manga this is adapted from so I'm excited.

Transplant - I believe this will come out eventually. I will believe it 'till my dying day.

Why R U - I loved the Thai version so I'm really curious about what Korea will do with it!

Wuju Bakery - the premise is so ridiculous to me but JeffCode so grhgarhagraghrahgarhgraghgrahgrah

TAGGING: @jeronnamo, @poisoneevie, @dirtygermi, @notme-rainbowfart, @nattawinlove :)