#i continue to create problems for myself
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i'm afraid chapter 2 of icarus is going to be at least in part in comic format bc there's just so much stuff to describe and it's easier for me to draw it all than write it??
not that this is easy by any means (again: STUFF! so much of it! and character designs on top of that, and trying to keep it all consistent) but i've been having an absolute BLAST this past week drawing the characters, the clothes/uniforms, the space suits, even the environments and the mechanical stuff and now i don't *want* to stop.
all of this is going to be a bitch of a challenge, and only in part because i've never done long-form comics before. the biggest hurdle is going to be figuring out the most time-efficient way to stylize and shade and/or color stuff. because let me tell you, this shit takes ages. AEONS. FOR-FUCKING-EVER. and i want things to *look good* but i also want to get them done in a timely fashion. i'm gonna have to get good AND fast at the same time, and more importantly get over myself and accept that done is better than perfect and good enough is, well, *good enough*.
if you've made it through all of that, there's a treat for you under the cut :)
this is the most complete of the character profiles i've done so far. i'm currently working on the other main characters (pete, porsche, and kinn) and i'm also doing character profiles for the secondary characters. i've done six of them so far - vegas included - and i plan to draw a few of the minor characters too, mostly because some of them are ~alien species~ and trying to find a balance between their human and alien features is fun.
#i continue to create problems for myself#but at least im having fun!#no but seriously: i need to get over my perfectionism and my fear of Doing Things#and the only way to do that is to *gasp* Do Those Things!#spoiler warning its gonna be ugly its gonna be messy and all over the place#im gonna look at this a year from now and CRINGE SO HARD I TURN MYSELF INSIDE OUT#but i look at my old art *now* and do that anyway so why not try for MAXIMUM CRINGE a year from now? (its good to have goals)#it doesnt have to be perfect; it just has to be done#to quote struthless: perfection is not the way - its IN the way
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Ughhhhhhh I hate writing and I hate not writing and I hate myself
#nearly bought a digital typewriter today. actually i DID buy a digital typewriter today. officially yes i have bought a digital typewriter.#the money for the digital typewriter has left my account but i have emailed them to cancel the order because i can't in good faith buy#a digital typewriter when i don't fucking WRITE#i thought it might help me get back into it. distraction free and while allowing me to not judge my own writing#and be continuously editing while i write and going 'i'm crap i'm crap i'm crap no one will ever read this and if they do they will think#that i'm garbage and that i should feel bad etc etc etc'#but it's too expensive and i have the feeling i wouldn't even like or use the thing once i got it#because the IDEAS! the ideas aren't coming to me. or rather they are but none of them seem to stick#i feel underconfident in writing any of them#and then i have old projects that i've always wanted to get back to like the tennis romance thing but SO much has changed since i first#started drafting it. like i don't even know if i like the main couple anymore. i kind of want to put both of them with different OCs of min#but it'd switch up the WHOLE story if i had a different cast#in fact most of the problem lies in the fact that i have this long-running bedtime story i tell myself every night with lore#and a massive cast of characters that i switch out depending on who i'm most interested in right now and every so often i incorporate new#themes and ideas and motifs and plot points sometimes based on media i've been watching because it's MY bedtime story and it doesn't matter#if i plagiarise in my own brain. but then obviously i can't plagiarise in real life#and none of my bedtime stories are GOING anywhere. sometimes i only get through a scene or two before i fall asleep#all of which means my bedtime story is not so much a sweeping epic novel but a sitcom with way too many characters#most of which are werewolves to be honest and sometimes for my own wish fulfilment one of them will walk out of my head#and take care of my problems for me by lending me £1million or murdering my best friend's ex. in my mind obviously#so it's like. it's a case of getting in there and annexing off the stuff i think i can use#it's like yeah i've definitely written several romance novels in my head in the process of this but does it matter if they're IN my HEAD#to be honest i feel like my main strength is in creating characters. like i have this one family of werewolves i've been slowly but surely#adding members to since i was like 16. maybe younger? no yeah i think i made the first one when i was 12#they're compelling to ME anyway. i care about them. it's just PLOTS. i can't plot#if a book could just be a lot of dialogue and sex scenes and silly moments and character studies i'd be alright#i also can't describe settings. don't ask me to because i can't#and now i'm just annoyed with myself because i sat down at my laptop to try to write and instead i'm here complaining about how i don't wri#and if i had the digital typewriter... i mean i'd probably still be doing this i'd just no longer have £300#i don't have the £300 anyway. i hope to christ they refund my card i'm a fucking idiot
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listen okay ive been going on about this for like a week now but i just think it's a little funny that ever since i had to stop therapy there's been a MASSIVE increase in my writing. it is not only a wonderful creative hobby but also helps me get through shit and process my emotions and i dont think that's bad at all! but i am living up to the stereotype of creatives Not Being Okay and i do love that and think it's a little bit funny.
#in fact. the less okay i am the better my work gets and that is sooooo toxic cancel me#i wont fuck myself up TOO bad on purpose de#*dw#but anyway i keep being told by even like GOOD therapists that i know all the things anyway and i just verbally work out the problem w them#listening rather than them give me advice so maybe i should just continue this i might actually Be Good. ........ for now.#and YES i know it's probably a bit of a maladaptive coping mechanism but im autistic im allowed one (1) maladaptive coping mechanism as a#treat. and i dont watch tv and havent been gaming SO LET ME HAVE THIS#i must CREATE WITH MY HANDS it feels so much more relaxing to me than doomscrolling and also silences the developing workaholism by giving#me a Product#OKAY IM SHUTTING UP NOW I HAVENT TALKED MUCH TODAY IVE JUST BEEN WRITING SKFBDJDJ#'im shutting up now' i say on my Own Blog as if anyone gonna read this anyway wkfjeksjs#in my can't stop wont stop era fr#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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#<deep sigh>#idk why i keep doing this#creating problems where none exist#freaking myself out#and it almost always ends up being no big deal#anyway. i freaked myself out and it ended up being no big deal#and now i can breathe again#i feel so much lighter#i feel. good#i hope it continues#this has been an original post#personal spewage
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I got sad because I realised that it’s been 5 years this September since I was diagnosed with my first mental illness, and now, 5 years later, I’ve been diagnosed with 10. Because I was 14 at the time, so much of my identity is wrapped up in one disorder or another, which I think is unavoidable if your teenage years are spent in excruciating psychic pain which you were lucky enough to have diagnostic labels for.
The problem is I don’t know how to disentangle it and form my own identity now. For better or for worse, almost every action I take can be explained by a disorder.
However, I’m going to start making a distinction to myself. I think the lines are blurrier than I want to accept. Something might be partway caused by a disorder but also part of me, and it doesn’t have to be solely one or the other. My disorders are a part of my personality and they affect the way I think and act, but they’re not the only part of my personality. My kindness and thoughtfulness and resilience may be influenced by my disorders but they are mine to claim and mine to have, regardless.
#this makes little sense but I wanted to get it written out anyway#I think it’s a pretty common problem#i was thinking recently that five years is a long time. sometimes I feel like there was no point in fighting so hard to stay alive if all I#get is more pain and more illness#but that’s not accurate because there is lots of joy in my life and there always was#maybe I will continue being traumatised and suffering but at the same time I will create a life worth living if I have to wrench it#from g-d’s hands myself#anne speaks
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simply a joke ꨄ lewis hamilton
lewis hamilton x assistant!reader
warnings: smut, unprotected sex, oral (f!receiving), lewis was pining and reader was oblivious [1.6k words]
request: 🌶 I would request for Lewis Hamilton and [20. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.��]
The bill was placed down on the table, the waitress giving you a sympathetic look as she openly asked whether it would be cash or card.
“You don’t mind paying right? I’ll forward you the money, just forgot my wallet of course, such a lapse of memory sometimes,” he said, an arrogant smirk on your blind date’s face while he waited for your response.
Humming in acknowledgement, you muttered that it would be on card to the waitress.
You didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything further, bidding him a farewell the moment the bill was paid, and a denial to a second date. The shock on his face made your smile grow when you whirled around, making the trek towards your car while you contemplated how your life had even got to this point.
A quick text sent off to the only person you actually wanted to see was met with an easy ‘I’ll leave the door unlocked, see you soon’, prompting you to direct your car in the opposite direction of your own home.
Lewis was always happy to have you over, saying more than once you may as well just move in with him with how often you were there anyways. Always shrugging the comment off, you would just laugh and remind him the two of you see each other enough during the week and that you were pretty sure Mercedes would be unhappy with a driver and his team-assigned assistant living together.
“I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what they would want, actually? Full access for both of us, love,” Lewis practically had the response memorized, a shove to his shoulder the only answer he ever received to it.
Huffing as you flopped down on the couch next to the Brit, Lewis quirked a questioning eyebrow at you, silently imploring as to what could possibly be creating your current set of emotions.
“I’ve just come back from a date, what an absolute nightmare, Lew. I’ve never met someone who managed to talk about themselves more than that guy. Don’t think I even got a word in,” you complained.
A small chuckle fell from Lewis’ lips, his hand gently patting your knee with a sympathetic expression falling across his face.
“Like… am I the problem, Lew? Be honest, because I’m going insane here, I don’t think I’ve even had sex in months. I genuinely think I’m on the verge of insanity,” you said, practically begging for a response from the Brit.
Huffing, Lewis turned his gaze onto you. Looking you up and down, you felt yourself heat under his gaze. You would never admit it aloud, but you couldn’t deny that the Mercedes driver was borderline gorgeous.
“I think if all you’re looking for is sex, going on a date in the outfit you’re wearing right now… well it’s not doing you any favours, really.”
Pouting at him, you looked down at your outfit while trying to decipher what was wrong with it.
He continued, “before you start, there’s nothing wrong with the outfit. You look gorgeous, really. But you’ve got the buttons up all the way to the top, the pants aren’t formfitting at all, and you’ve got incredible legs, you just refuse to wear shoes that accentuate them. You’re dressed like you’re going to a business meeting, not like you’re going on a date with the intention of being taken home after.”
He emphasized his words by coming closer, flicking open the top four buttons, allowing the top of your breasts to peak through, the lacy bra you were wearing visible to the open-eye.
“You don’t get it, Lew. Sure, I could wear a shirt that shows off my breasts, pants that accentuate my ass… but I don’t just want sex. Sure, yes, I want sex… but I want to be taken seriously, I want to be taken on a real date and actually enjoy myself.”
“I could give you both, but you keep denying my offer,” he shrugged his shoulders, turning his attention back towards the television.
Trying to wrap your mind around his words, “You act like your offer is ever serious, Lew. We both know it’s a joke.”
“You’re the one who says it’s a joke and that I’m not being serious. Not sure what else I’m really meant to say that’s going to make you believe me, love,” he said.
You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He had been making jokes like this for years. It was easy to assume they were comments he made with everyone, his personality naturally flirtatious.
Your body moved on instinct, pressing yourself closer to him as you contemplated your next words.
“Can I kiss you, then?”
He didn’t give a response before he was pressing his lips to yours, his hand instantly pressing to the back of your neck, tugging you closer to his body. His lips were soft, his tongue wet as it pressed gently at your lips, begging for an entrance.
A soft moan fell from your mouth when Lewis pulled your body on top of his, your legs encircling his waist. You ground your core against his, a rumble of a groan falling from Lewis’ own lips, his head falling back against the couch behind him.
“God, baby. I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard, about fucking all of them, I swear.”
The whimper that fell from your lips was unintentional, your body subconsciously grinding down against the hardness growing between his legs; the pit in your stomach growing, the desire for him so prevalent in your actions.
You had never realized how much you truly wanted this, how much you wanted those comments you thought to be jokes, to be real.
“That better not be a joke, Lew,” you moaned, his lips pressing to your neck as he guided your hips back and forth over his lap.
You felt your back hit the couch, Lewis’ body crawling over top of yours as he began kissing down your body. The buttons on your shirt having come undone at some point making it easier for the Brit to continue his ministrations across your skin.
Looking up at you imploringly, his tattoo-covered hand tugged gently at the waistband of your pants, a silent question in his eyes. You nodded eagerly, lifting your hips slightly so he could tug the offending material off.
He lightly nipped at your hip, pressing a kiss to sooth the heated skin before continuing his actions to the other side. Small love bites, kisses, short presses of his tongue to your skin as he continued to move down your body. Lifting a leg to press a gentle kiss to the inside of your thigh, you moaned at the action.
It didn’t take long for your panties to join the discarded pants, his eyes hungrily taking in the display. You couldn’t help the self-conscious thoughts, your legs instinctively closing around his body.
“Nuh-uh, none of that, pretty girl,” he said, his hands pushing your legs open.
A finger gently pressed to your core, parting your lips as he ran a finger through them, collecting the wetness that was seeping from you. A tiny whimper departed your lips as you watched Lewis bring the finger to his mouth, sucking the collected juices from the digit.
It was like watching a man possessed as he got in between your legs, your hands finding their way to his head as the first press of his tongue resonated throughout your body.
There was no surprise that he was skilled with his tongue, the same way he was skilled with his fingers; the same way he was skilled when he put his mind to anything else he desired success in.
His fingers moved in tandem with his tongue, pressing against the spot inside your core that had you practically keening for him, your hips pressing up against his face; the only thing keeping his mouth from drowning in your wetness was the hand he had pressed to your pelvis, pushing you back down against the bed.
A loud moan fell from your lips as Lewis sucked at your clit, a third finger joining the other two inside you, a squelching sound vibrating throughout the living space as you felt yourself hit your peak.
Your orgasm crashed through you, your legs shaking as Lewis’ fingers and tongue slowed down, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. Your head was still thrown back when you heard the sound of more clothes hitting the floor, your eyes peaking open to a view that had your mouth practically watering.
It was common knowledge that Lewis was an incredible sight. From his hardened muscles, to the pops of ink that covered his body, everyone knew he was gorgeous. But his cock? All you wanted to do was wrap your lips around it, which in time, you knew you’d be able to.
But for now? All Lewis wanted to do was press inside you, feel the way your walls pulled him in, the way your wetness coated him, the way you’d stretch so lovely around him.
“On your knees, pretty girl. I wanna’ see this lovely arse when I push inside you for the first time, been thinking about it lots.”
You were quick to do as he demanded, flipping your body over so you were on your knees, resting on your elbows as you felt the couch dip behind you.
A low whimper fell from your lips as you felt him run his length through your wetness, coating his cock in your juices before pressing the tip inside. The stretch was delicious, your body pushing back against his, begging for more.
Obliging, his entire length pushed forward, your lips wrapping around him, the wetness dripping from your core making it easier for him to slide inside.
“Gonna fuck you so good, make you never wanna leave, baby. Can’t wait to feel you cum all over my cock, been wanting to feel that for ages,” he whispered in your ear, biting at the lobe as he pulled away.
Moans and grunts fell from your lips with every thrust of his hips, his body seeking the release he knew yours could give him. The way he made you feel, the feelings his body evoked from yours; it made you insatiable, made you crave the feeling more and more. Made you regret ever believing his comments were simply a joke.
anyways. i got carried away. please enjoy (reader has a hand kink specifically for lewis as i also do sorry!!! bye!!!)
#lewis hamilton#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton smut#f1 x reader#f1 smut#lewis hamilton one shot#lewis hamilton imagine#f1 one shot#f1 fanfic#formula 1 smut#formula one x reader#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 fic#f1 imagine#formula 1 blurb#lewis hamilton fic
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77 quotes to change your perspective
carl jung
"if the path before you is clear, you are probably on someone else's."
"until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate."
"the world will ask who you are, and if you do not know, the world will tell you."
"it all depends on how we look at things and not how they are in themselves."
"there is no coming to consciousness without pain."
joe dispenza
"can you accept the notion that once you change your internal state, you do not need the external world to provide you with a reason to feel joy, gratitude, appreciation, or any other elevated emotion?"
"if you want a new outcome, you will have to break the habit of being yourself and reinvent a new self."
"if you were to start investing your attention and energy into the unknown, your body would then be able to follow your mind into the unknown—a new experience in your future."
"if you cannot get beyond your stresses, your problems, and your pain, you cannot create a new future where those things do not exist."
"if you focus on the known, you get the known. if you focus on the unknown, you create a possibility."
eckhart tolle
"the primary cause of unhappiness is never the situation but your thoughts about it."
"life is not as serious as the mind makes it out to be."
"you find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life but by realizing who you are at the deepest level."
"pleasure is always derived from something outside you, whereas joy arises from within."
"most of the so-called bad things that happen in people's lives are due to unconsciousness. they are self-created, or rather ego-created."
wayne dyer
"when you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself."
"you are not stuck where you are unless you decide to be."
"begin to see yourself as a soul with a body rather than a body with a soul."
"be miserable. or motivate yourself. whatever has to be done, it is always your choice."
"you are what you choose to be today. not what you have chosen to be before."
louise hay
"every thought we think is creating our future."
"i do not fix problems. i fix my thinking. then problems fix themselves."
"you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it has not worked. try approving of yourself and see what happens."
"there is no written law that says that because you once believed something, you have to continue to believe it forever."
"the more we love ourselves, the less we project our pain onto the world."
jen sincero
"if you are serious about changing your life, you will find a way. if you are not, you will find an excuse."
"your life is your party. you get to choose how you invite people and experiences and things into it."
"you need to go from wanting to change your life to deciding to change your life."
"what you tell yourself on a daily basis is more powerful than you know."
"comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life."
tony robbins
"it is your decisions and not your conditions that determine your destiny."
"you cannot have a plan for your day until you have a plan for your life."
"belief in limits creates limited people."
"the only thing that is keeping you from getting what you want is the story you keep telling yourself."
"if i could uncover what beliefs and values control me, i could literally redesign myself."
marcus aurelius
"the happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts."
"our life is what our thoughts make it."
"the best revenge is not to be like your enemy."
"every living organism is fulfilled when it follows the right path for its own nature."
"today i escaped anxiety. or no, i discarded it because it was within me, in my own perceptions—not outside."
jay shetty
"the more we define ourselves in relation to the people around us, the more lost we are."
"actually, the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not letting it consume and own you."
"it is impossible to build one's own happiness on the unhappiness of others."
"if you are satisfied with who you are, you do not need to prove your worth to anyone else."
"the grass is greener where you water it."
mel robbins
"if you only ever did the things you do not want to do, you would have everything you have ever wanted."
"you are one decision away from a completely different life."
"when it comes to change, goals, and dreams, you have to bet on yourself."
"change your decisions, and you will change your life. and what will change your decisions more than anything? courage."
"if you have the courage to start, you have the courage to succeed."
alan watts
"man suffers only because he takes seriously what the gods made for fun."
"never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command."
"you are under no obligation to be the same person you were 5 minutes ago."
"a person who thinks all the time has nothing to think about except thoughts. so, he loses touch with reality and lives in a world of illusions."
"hurrying and delaying are alike ways of trying to resist the present."
ram dass
"the quieter you become, the more you can hear."
"your problem is you are too busy holding on to your unworthiness."
"i can do nothing for you but work on myself…you can do nothing for me but work on yourself."
"free yourself from the illusion of good and bad days. labeling time makes us nostalgic for the past and demanding the future. there is only here and now. let it be."
"no matter what someone else does to you, never put anyone out of your heart."
lao tzu
"care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner."
"the best fighter is never angry."
"respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment."
"if you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading."
"nature never hurries, yet everything is accomplished."
muhammad ali
"if my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it—then i can achieve it."
"do not quit. suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion."
"he who is not courageous enough to take risks will accomplish nothing in life."
"i have never let anyone talk me into not believing in myself."
"i am the greatest. i said that even before i knew i was."
steve harvey
"you cannot leave what is important to you up to someone else."
"stop wasting time looking at someone else's reality while doing nothing about yours."
"the dream is free, but the hustle is sold separately."
"your dream has to be bigger than your fear."
"you cannot tell big dreams to small-minded people."
albert einstein
"i am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. imagination is more important than knowledge. knowledge is limited. imagination encircles the world."
"anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
𓍯 entryfromsane004 (extracted from the old blog two years ago)
#spiritual awakening#consciousness#law of assumption#divine feminine#self help#self concept#loa#loablr#affirm and persist#neville goddard#reality shifting#desired reality#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#shifting#glow up#that girl#high value woman#self worth#adulting
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I HAVE A IDEA (MR CRABS I HAVE AN IDEA)
yk the new song ari came out with (we can't be friends) Chris fic were the reader and him are best friends that always flirt and they made out drunk at a party and have not been talking for a week untill Chris shows up at her house and they makeout and maybe some smut? Idrk
Anyways that's all 💋
we can’t be friends
chris sturniolo x reader
warnings: angst, mentions of drinking/being drunk, smut, fingering, oral (fem receiving), squirting, cursing
a/n: i’ve been absolutely OBSESSED with this song and itching to write about ittt
i hope you enjoy
i let out a heavy sigh at his last text, before throwing my phone onto my bed.
of course i wanted to fight for us, but this was about more than just our friendship . this was about what was best for us individually.
for as long as i could remember, i always put chris’ feelings before my own. i spent so long chasing after him, just to end up heartbroken.
i watched him constantly pick other people over me, blissfully unaware of how deeply he was wounding me.
but no matter how much i wanted to, i couldn’t blame him. it was easier to point fingers at him than to accept the fact that this was partially my own fault.
i let him continue to hurt me, over and over again, never telling him what he was doing to me. and if i didn’t tell him, how would he know any better ?
so, even though it killed me to act so cold and distant toward him, it was time to look out for myself for once.
i needed to take the time to love and take care of myself before expecting someone else to do so.
sure, he’d be upset for a short while, but once he got over me he would easily move on to the next girl. that’s all i was to him, after all. just another girl.
i was pulled from my thoughts when i heard my front door open and close suddenly, followed by quick footsteps toward my room.
i waited behind my bedroom door, quick to swing my arm out in front of me when the person made it to the doorway.
i was met with chris, who immediately caught my wrist in his hand.
we stared at each other with wide eyes, neither one of us speaking. i blinked up at him, watching his eyes trail down to my lips.
“don’t do that” the words flew out of my mouth before i could stop them.
his eyes immediately shot back up to mine, a curious expression taking over his features.
“don’t do what?” he asked, loosening his grip on my wrist to let it slide down, intertwining our fingers.
“chris, we aren’t doing this. i meant what i said earlier, we’re better off not being friends”
“you keep saying that, but you won’t tell me why. you gotta talk to me baby” he spoke.
“i don’t want to” i spoke back, shaking my head as i backed up slightly to create more distance between us.
“how am i supposed to know what i did wrong if you don’t talk to me?”
he was right, of course he was. it was unfair of me to just cut him off with no reasoning. but the second we start talking about it is the second it becomes real. i didn’t want to come to terms with the fact that i was trying to end one of the most important friendships i’d ever had in my life.
“you didn’t do anything, chris” i answered. he wasn’t having it. “no, tell me. i’m not letting you just end our friendship like this, not without a reason”
“i just can’t be friends with you”
“why? what is so wrong with me that you don’t want me in your life? and completely out of nowhere” he spoke, his voice rising slightly.
“see, that’s the problem. i don’t want you out of my life, i want you in it forever. but you clearly don’t want that, and it’s ok.”
“who the hell said i didn’t want that?” chris asked, his brows furrowing.
“chris, it’s fine. you don’t have to try to make me feel better-”
“so you don’t believe me?” he cut me off.
“i mean, i don’t know, i just…” my babbling trailed off as i tried to find the right words.
“let me prove it to you” he whispered as he toyed with the strap of my tank top.
my breathing grew shallow as he moved the fabric down my arm slightly, pressing his lips to my shoulder.
“chris….we shouldn’t” i whispered, but tilted my head to the side, allowing him more access as his lips moved up my neck.
“really? you weren’t complaining a week ago” he spoke against my skin.
i slapped his chest lightly at that. “yeah, well we were also drunk”
he bit down on my neck, harshly enough to leave a bruise and elicit a moan from me. “so, you don’t want this?” he asked.
i let out a deep sigh, “of course i do, chris. but do you?”
he looked as though he was going to say something, but i stopped him “don’t tell me yes just because you want sex. i don’t want you to just want somebody, i want you to want me. if you’re just gonna fuck me and move onto the next girl, then forget it” i spoke.
the more i thought about it, the more i convinced myself that he didn’t really want me.
“hey” he spoke softly, cupping my jaw. “this isn’t about the sex, this isn’t even about me wanting you. this is about me needing you. this is about me not being able to live without you. yes, i’ve been with other girls. but there’s a reason that you’re the only one that’s always been there”
“i was so sure you didn’t feel the same, so i tried to move on. but i couldn’t, because none of those girls are you. and i’m so sorry that i hurt you, i’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if i have to”
chris looked at me as though he could cry. his blue eyes shot back and forth between my own, his thumb caressing my jaw gently.
“so make it up to me” i whispered, pulling his lips to my own.
one of his arms smoothly slid behind my back, supporting my weight as i found it hard to keep my balance.
he kissed me like he had waited his whole life for this moment. his lips felt so soft against mine, unlike our last kiss.
this kiss made our drunken one feel sloppy and desperate, like two people who were just horny, but this was more than that. it was eye-opening, sweet, gentle, it was everything i didn’t know i needed.
but chris did, he always knew what to say or do to make me happy. i couldn’t stay mad at him even if i wanted to.
“let me make you feel good?” he asked when we pulled away. “yeah” i let out breathlessly, nodding my head.
“lay down for me” he said, leaving another kiss to my neck. i did as he said, getting onto my bed and laying on my back.
he wasted no time in crawling over me, his hands placed on either side of my waist. “can i?” he asked, lightly tugging at the hem of my top.
i nodded at him, lifting my upper body up as he pulled off my top. without a word, he attached his lips to my nipple while caressing the other with his hand.
i let out a loud moan at the feeling, beginning to squirm underneath him.
“shit, chris” i sighed out, his eyes immediately looking up at mine.
he swirled his tongue around the hardened bud, watching as my body melted into his touch.
he sucked on my tit until the skin turned dark, moving to the other to give it the same treatment.
“god, chris. feels so good” i moaned out while he continued to work my sensitive nipple with his tongue.
“you look so pretty like this” he rasped as he soothed my boobs with his hands, “can’t believe i have you all to myself” he mumbled to himself.
he moved his face downwards, leaving gentle kisses to my rib cage and abdomen. he paid special attention to every birthmark and scar he found, pressing a kiss to each one.
his fingers rubbed small circles into my skin as he ventured further and further down my body.
he stopped at the waistband of my shorts, leaving a kiss to my crotch area. due to the thin material or the shorts and my lack of underwear, my hips shot up involuntarily at the feeling.
“no underwear? such a dirty fucking girl” he spoke, smacking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
he licked a long stripe up my pussy through the shorts, eliciting a long whine from me. “chris, stop teasing me” i spoke as i squirmed under him.
“you just make it so easy, baby” he spoke, before continuing to leave kisses down my thighs and calves.
“lift up” he spoke as he hooked his fingers into the waistband of my shorts. i raised my hips, allowing chris to pull them off.
i let out a sigh at the feeling of my heat being exposed to the cold air of the room.
chris stared down at my glistening pussy, mouth hung open slightly as he pulled my folds apart, spreading me open.
“my god, you’re so gorgeous” he spoke, blowing cool air onto my heat.
“hold your legs apart for me, beautiful” he spoke, his lips inches away from my core.
“so wet” he mumbled before running his tongue along my thighs, just missing where i needed him.
“chris, please. i need your mouth so fucking bad” i whined. “where, baby?” he asked, teasing me some more.
finally having enough, i wrapped my legs around his head, pulling his face into my heat.
he let out a long moan into me, his eyes rolling back as he licked up every drop of my slick.
my head fell back at the feeling, legs loosening around him to let him pull back if needed, however he stayed right where he was.
the words that fell out of my mouth sounded like gibberish, but i didn’t care about that. all i could focus on was chris.
the way he groaned into me, his needy tongue lapping me up like i was his last meal. his piercing eyes never left mine, only making the tight feeling in my stomach grow.
my arousal covered his flushed cheeks, making me even wetter.
there was something that i found so incredibly hot about how messily he was eating me out. it was like all he cared about was me finishing.
he moved his face from my legs, making me let out a whine at the loss of contact.
he stuck his tongue out, his spit dripping down onto my pussy.
“what do you think about when you touch yourself? ” he asked suddenly while he brought his finger down to my core to rub me.
“i- oh” i cried out in surprise at the feeling of his finger entering me.
“holy fuck, you’re so tight” he whispered as he pushed his pointer finger in and out of my tight walls.
“oh my god” i whimpered when he pushed another finger in.
“if you don’t answer me, i’m stopping” he spoke.
“this! i think about this!” i rushed out, eyes screwing shut at the feeling of his rough fingers inside of me.
“i think about how perfect your hands are. fuck- how long your fingers are” i struggled out between moans, “i think about you” i finished.
“yeah? what about my cock?” he asked as his fingers sped up.
“you think about what it would feel like for me to fuck you into oblivion? ” he asked as he curled his fingers, hitting my g-spot.
“fuck, yes! i’m so close chris” i cried out as he continued to plunge his fingers in and out of me.
“c’mon, you got it. doing so well for me, want you to make a mess all over me” he rasped out, fingers moving rapidly inside of me.
“chris, wait! i’m gonna-” i tried to warn him, but i was too far gone as my juices shot out of me.
the liquid dripped down his face, onto the saturated sheets underneath us.
“yes, yes, fuck yes” chris groaned as his mouth hung open. i leaned up slightly, watching the way his hips stuttered and his body shook.
“fuck” he let out breathlessly, as he began to shudder.
“did you just come untouched?” i asked, eyes widening slightly.
“if that doesn’t prove how much i want you, nothing will”
wait why’d i kinda eat ??? 🤭
masterlist
tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @readerakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @itzdarling @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @nicksmainbitch @meg-sturniolo @yamamasjumpercables @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07 @breeloveschris @luverboychris
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo x you#chris x reader#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fic#christopher sturniolo fic#sturniolos#sturniolo smut#sturniolo fic
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↪ 𝑽𝑨𝑵 𝑯𝑬𝑳𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑮 . ( a collection of sentence starters from the 2004 film . adjust phrasing as necessary . mature themes present . )
oh , [ name ] . it's just you .
where are you going to run , [ name ] ?
what are you saying ?
why do you think i brought you here ?
you said you believed in my work .
i would kill myself before helping in such a task .
you've been so kind to me , [ name ] .
you can't kill me , [ name ] .
so , you're the great [ name ] .
we all have our little problems .
let's make it your decision , shall we ?
i wish you a week in hell .
why don't you do something about it ?
this is all a test of faith .
i can curse all i want , dammit .
you . turn around .
strangers don't last long here .
the laws of men mean little to me .
i don't need your help .
you stay here . they're trying to kill me .
nice to see you too , [ name ] .
did i do something to you in a past life ?
i hope you do have a heart , [ name ] . because someday i'd like to drive a stake through it .
your reputation precedes you .
i am hollow ! and i will live ... forever .
please , say you will not try again .
do not fear me ... everybody else fears me .
i was unprepared . it won't happen again .
do you understand forgiveness ?
i would rather die than help you .
don't be boring , everyone who says that always dies .
may he rest in peace .
how long has it been , 300 , 400 years ?
you don't remember , do you ?
what exactly is it i am to be remembering ?
it's no surprise you would know all about me .
we have such history , you and i .
have you ever wondered why you have such horrific nightmares ?
[ name ] , it's alright , i'm taking you home .
what , did you think we haven't tried everything before ?
no one knows how to kill [ name ] .
i could have used that information earlier .
would you like me to refresh your memory a little ?
allow me to ... reintroduce myself .
i think we've overstayed our welcome .
don't give me that look .
you were right . i'm sorry .
monster ? who's the monster here ? i have done nothing wrong !
look , there's still time .
you were right . i'm sorry .
do you have any family , [ name ] ?
if you value your lives , and the lives of your kin , you will kill me .
evil may have created it , may have left its mark on it , but evil does not rule it .
now you know why they call me a murderer .
oh my god ... you've been bitten .
so much trouble ... so much trouble .
now you will become that which you hunted so passionately . may others be as passionate in their hunting of you .
don't worry , god will forgive us .
how many commandments can we break in one day ?
oh my god , you should be terrified .
how does it feel to be a puppet on my string ?
neither of us has ever settled for half .
you make my skin crawl .
i'm not gonna like this , am i ?
one brief moment of pain , and we can be together forever .
you have no heartbeat .
you are nothing but damned bones , and damned souls .
well , that doesn't sound like a good thing .
we don't have a choice . just don't get killed .
you don't understand , it doesn't matter what happens to me .
god is not the only one that can create life .
you can't go until i say you can go , and i say you can go when you're dead !
you're supposed to die .
we are both part of the same great game , [ name ] , we just find ourselves on opposite sides of the board .
you are being used , [ name ] , as was i . but i escaped , so can you .
if you're going to kill someone , kill them . don't stand there talking about it .
all i want is life . the continuation of my kind .
some things are better left forgotten .
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reasons you’re unable to enter the void or shift while lucid dreaming or in sleep paralysis
recently I received a couple of messages from followers and other blogs explaining how, when they were in sleep paralysis or lucid dreaming, were unsuccessful in reaching the void or shifting after stating their intentions
this also happened to me a couple of times, seemingly at random; sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t
I did a bit of research and also analyzed my own experiences to figure out the root of the problem and how to fix it:
you’re not completely grounded/you’re rushing
this took me an embarrassing amount of tries to realize this, but every time I’m lucid dreaming or feeling myself entering the void, I would instantly start to spew out my intentions/desires instead of completely grounding myself in there and I would be instantly kicked out from that state. I guess it just doesn’t work that way — you have to be completely grounded in your ld or sp for your desires to manifest
a lot of you (me included) get so excited or scared when realizing we’re in a certain state that the connection, I guess, breaks. as an example, when I wasn’t very knowledgeable on the void state I entered it and chilled there for like 10-15 minutes before exiting willingly, but after discovering it can be used for shifting or manifesting I could barely spend 10 seconds there before waking up unintentionally
mental exhaustion
your psyche is exhausted and it simply can’t proceed the instructions anymore. imagine you stay awake for more than 24 hours and someone asks you to do a task that requires concentration and precision. would you be able to do it perfectly? I highly doubt
to get over this issue you need to take a serious break, and I don’t mean you can’t attempt anything for a day or two, I mean a BREAK — don’t even think about shifting or entering the void and chill and sleep as much as possible. I mean it, especially sleeping! fix your sleep schedule or sleep lots for 2-3 days
after you start your attempts again, if the first few instances are unsuccessful, you need to take another break before continuing, otherwise you risk of repeating the same scenario over again — reaching your desired state but not being able to do anything from there due to mental strain
brain activation trigger
brain activity changes — realizing you are dreaming changes how your brain works, especially in parts that help you think about yourself and make decisions. these changes can wake you up; knowing you are dreaming can make you feel excited or surprised - these strong feelings can wake you up too
mental blockages and expectations
your subconscious mind might have doubts or fears regarding the process. if you unconsciously expect that your attempts won’t work or fear the consequences of them working, this can create a mental block — this is actually more common than people think and a lot of you don’t even realize you have these blockages
overexcitement
if you become too excited or anxious about the possibility of your desires manifesting, this can trigger your body to wake up. remaining calm and composed is very important (even though we can’t help ourselves at times). overexcitement goes hand in hand with other strong emotions such as fear, so make sure you’re in a neutral state
subconscious programming
your subconscious might need more time and positive reinforcement to accept and integrate the idea of shifting realities, entering the void or manifesting desires. using affirmations, subliminals and visualizations regularly can help reprogram your subconscious mind
timing
certain times of the night or stages of sleep might be more conducive to successful lucid dreaming/sleep paralysis and shifting. experimenting with different times and conditions can help you so much!!
as an example: I have an easier time entering the void by meditating at night after 1 a.m., but I have an easier time doing wbtb and lucid dreaming between 8-11 a.m.
I honestly think that what can help you overcome this is self reflection — a lot of you search for answers but never bother to answer them yourselves. by self reflecting throughout my journey has helped me identify my weaknesses, how to fix them, what works for me and other tricks to speed up the process or make it more enjoyable
#reality shifting#void state#shifting#desired reality#law of assumption#shiftblr#void#void state question#sleep paralysis#lucid dreaming#dr#meditation#sleep issues#alternate state of consciousness#ld#sp
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BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND!GOJO SATORU | FIC RECS
A/N: Been obsessed with the Brother's Best Friend trope recently, specifically regarding Satoru, and I really wanted to share my favorite fics created by the amazing writers listed below. ALSO I wanted to do this because I haven't made one of these recommendation lists in awhile, and I love to do them number one to help promote the writers I love, and number two because when I find a trope I love with a character I wish I had a list like this to just find fics instantly LMAOOO. PLEASE feel free to recommend me your favorite brother's best friend fics if you know anymore and FEEL FREE to send me an ask at anytime if you're searching for fics of a certain trope I'd be happy to make more lists. Now enough of my yapping, I got ahead of myself and I'm posting this now but I'll update as I find more fics.
WARNING: I WON’T BE MORE CLEAR ON THIS! If you proceed to these accounts make sure to look at the rules and warnings. please respect the account owner, as most of them don’t want people under 18 on them. ALWAYS READ WARNINGS ON FICS TO INSURE YOU ARE RESPECTING THE WRITERS GUIDELINES!!!
One more thing! IF YOU LIKE A FIC PLEASE REBLOG NO MATTER THE ACCOUNT! The easiest way to show a creator you care and that their work is being appreciated is to reblog reblog reblog! They spend hours of their time creating work FOR US. The least we can do is REBLOG!
accounts under the cut. (last updated January 4th, 2024.)
IF IT’S ONLY A TOUCH…AITA? by @tteokdoroki This one is so good and the most recent one I read. It's the perfect amount of angst and smut. It does have some descriptions of the reader having braids, darker skin, and brown eyes so if you don't like when it's not vague about how the reader looks then this is probably not for you. However, those descriptions do not match me at all and I didn't have a problem while reading at all. I think you should definitely give it a read if you like the brother best friend trope!
BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND by @cptnleviackerman This one was so good for it only having so few notes. definitely go hype this one up because it deserves it. Read the tags before you continue on though because some of the themes could be triggering! Other then that this one was super good.
HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FUCK YOUR BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND? (FOUR WHOLE DAYS) by @saetoru SOOO GOOD. I love this fic so please go check this one out!
CRYBABY. by @ieirism AHHHH I FORGOT ABOUT THIS ONE. This one was soooooo goood. It is really fluffy and has so much sweet satoru. love love love.
TELL ME YOU DON'T WANT ME by @awearywritersworld I completely forgot about this one but from what I can remember it was really sweet. All angst and fluff and omg their dynamic after sugurus death is just so sweet.
YOUNGER BROTHER'S BEST FRIEND GOJO by @satocidal this is just a little drabble but the smut>>>>> that's all I have to say. go read!!
#gojo satoru#brother's best friend!Gojo Satoru#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo x you#jujustu kaisen#jjk gojo#jjk satoru#satoru x reader#satoru gojo#satoru x you#gojo smut#gojo fluff#gojo angst#jujutsu satoru#jjk x reader#satoru smut#satoru fluff#satoru angst
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Girl Next Door- Pt. 2
Simon 'Ghost' Riley x reader
Word count: 3k
Summary: Simon finally accept your offer for dinner. Did you mention you can cook?
A/N: I was a little slow on this but the idea of them getting close was stressing me out, okay? Also my MIL was in town and I couldn't get in the groove. All the support so far is amazing, thank you guys so much! If y'all like it there will be more to come. Warning: still slow burning
Join my Taglist
Part I
━━━━⊱♡⊰━━━━
Simon sits across from you at your tiny dining table pressed against the wall of your cramped kitchen. You managed to lure him in with a fairly nice bottle of unopened scotch you found in the back of your cabinet that had potentially fallen into one of your own boxes when moving from your ex's house.
He looks around your quaint little one bedroom apartment. It was a lot different than his own. The literal layout was the same. No extra rooms or walls but you’d done something different in here. The whole space had a cozy feeling to it. Every surface was decorated with useless gadgets and trinkets that he didn't understand the purpose of. Lots of blankets, pillows, soft things. You had music quietly playing through your TV speakers in the living room. A few lamps fill the dim room creating a subtle yellow glow that hits the high points of your face, softening your tired features.
"Do you think there's something wrong with me?" you suddenly blurt out.
"S'cuse me?" Simon asks, caught off guard by the question.
"Lately I've been feeling like there's something inside of me that attracts horrible guys. Like, is there a beacon coming out my head that says 'hey, come over here. I'm vulnerable and easy'."
Simon pauses, unsure how to respond. He watches your face closely. You're sad eyes looking to him for an answer he doesn't have. "I think you're...nice," but he has a feeling that's not what you wanted to hear.
"nice?" You let out a humorless laugh. "Maybe that's the problem. Nice must translate to doormat," You sigh and drop your head into your hands.
Simon takes a sip of his drink. He's growing concerned this is entering too friendly territory. Then you pop your head back up.
"So, how much did you hear?"
"Not much"
"Yeah right," You toss him a coy smile. “Can I tell you what happened?”
“Sure,”
“Alright, so” you take a sip of your own drink and a deep breath before recounting your story. "I met him at work. He was really nice and offered to pick me up a coffee on his way in one day. I haven’t made any friends at work yet so it was nice just to chat over a coffee. Then we started having lunch together. Nothing serious just in the break room but it felt good to hear about something other than notes from my editor. I wasn’t looking for anything serious, I mean I moved here to focus on myself not continue dating more crappy guys. So of course he started texting me and he was really sweet. He complimented my outfits and thought all my jokes were hilarious apparently. I really wasn’t trying to get involved with this guy though. He said something about hearing I can cook and of course I said I do. It’s part of my job, duh. He’s giving my shit about it so I invited him over for dinner. I made this creamy potato gnocchi with Italian sausage that I got from that great butcher on the corner. I even hand rolled the gnocchi. I mean, who wouldn't kill for an authentic Italian meal?"
"He's sounds like some guy"
"Not really, I was testing out a new recipe for the column so, two birds one stone. Anyways, he comes up and we have some wine and listen to some music. It was going really well so far. Then I go to bring out a nice charcuterie board for an appetizer while the pasta finishes baking. While I'm bringing it to him I can see he's on his phone, texting someone and literally giggling. I walk up behind him and he is sexting. On my couch!" you throw you hands up incredulously. "Well, I thought he was. He’s looking at a picture of some girl bent over then I realize it’s me. He took a picture of my ass, while I was making him dinner. I couldn't fucking believe it. What kind of a scumbag does that to a woman preparing a fucking meal for him? Now, this is not something I'm proud of so let the record show this is very out of character for me but these were extraordinary circumstances. So, I dropped the fig chutney on his head. Right in his stupid quaffed hair. He jumps up and he's all mad and starts yelling and I'm yelling back. He calls me a crazy bitch then I call him a perv. After that he left." you conclude with a shrug.
"Wow" Simon responds, truly taken aback by the series of events.
"Yeah, then you know the rest from there. I don't know what came over me. I guess after my last breakup I haven't felt very good about myself and this guy made me feel, I don't know- fun? That feels silly to say. I should’ve known better from a guy that works the celebrity gossip section. I probably looked like a big baby out there, how dramatic. I'm sorry about that, again."
"You don't need to apologize."
"After I moved here I thought things would be different. I thought guys in the city were classier I guess. Turns out all guys are the same. Just take what they want and go. Do you want another drink?" You point to his now empty glass.
"Sure." You snag his cup and stand. He watches you walk over to the counter in your silky slip dress. The sleek fabric clings to your waist. Flaring around your hips and down your thighs. The warm light reflects on the shiny material, shifting with each step you take. It tightens perfectly about your waist and cinched with a neat little bow in the back. He wonders why you would wear a dress like that for this guy.
"So, do you date?" you question in a seemingly casual tone.
"No"
"Yeah right," you laugh and look over your shoulder to see his stoney expression and your smile fades. "Oh, sorry, I just- I find that hard to believe."
"Why is that?" He tilts his head and you focus back on filling his glass.
"It's just, you're a good looking guy. I would think you'd get plenty of female attention," You pivot back around and place the glass before him. You lean on the table with one hand and prop the other on your waist.
"'M not interested," his gaze stays fixed on the brown liquid, grabbing it and taking another sip. He doesn't miss the way you deflated the slightest bit.
"Maybe I should take a page out of your book, as in maybe swearing off men completely" The oven timer dings. "Oh! pasta!" You jump over and grab your oven mitts. You drop the oven door and slide out the sizzling dish. An aroma of cheese and basil fills the air. Your stomach audibly growls.
You pull down two plates from your cabinet. You serve up the steaming pasta, sprinkling parmesan and fresh chopped herbs for garnish. You proudly carry over the two dishes and place them carefully on the table. You place your hands on your hips while gazing down at the platter.
"This looks...great." Simon is truly taken aback by the incredible looking dish.
"Wait, don't eat yet. Let me get a picture." You scamper into your living room, grabbing your phone off the coffee table and scurrying back. You hold your phone high above for a birds eye view. Simon scoots his chair back to avoid the gaze of the lens. The camera clicks with a flash. You examine the photo, seeming satisfied with the quality and finally taking a seat in your own chair. "It was okay if you were in the picture. I don't mind."
"I do," he says simply.
To anyone else, Simon comes off as rude or callous but you, you never seem to let his shortness affect you. You take his words and just keep going. You don't mind his lack of conversation. It seems you are totally satisfied with having someone there to listen. He was starting to think he didn't mind listening so much.
"Oh," You shift uncomfortably in your chair. "Sorry then. Well, let me know what you think. Try to be detailed with your feelings about it if you can. You're my guinea pig and be honest. I don't want to put this out when it's garbage."
He proceeds to take a forkful in his mouth. He cannot control the groan that escapes his throat as the bold flavor hits his tongue. This is far cry from his usual take away food. He can't remember the last time he had a home cooked meal now that he thinks about it.
"This is quite good." He grumbled between bites. Not caring to finish chewing before he's stabbing at the pasta on the plate once again.
"Really? You don't need to be nice to spare my feelings. I don't mind criticism."
He shoves more in his mouth. "I’m serious"
"Thank you" You giggle watching him scarf down the still steaming hot meal.
The two of you finish your respective plates without much more conversation to be had. On your last few bites you meet Simon's eyes as he reclines back in the creaky wooden chair, hands laying across his stomach. His head tips back with a satisfied grumble making a proud smile play across your lips. This may be the first time you've seen him express a true human emotion in your presence.
"There's more if you want?"
"No, I'm stuffed."
If you know one thing as a part time chef, food is the way to a man's heart. You knew if Simon tasted what you could make his ice exterior would melt away. You stand up and walk to the fridge.
"Too stuffed for dessert?" you pull out a glass bowl filled with layers of custard, strawberries, cake, and whipped cream. "I made a traditional English trifle. Y'know for the holidays coming up and who doesn't love custard?" you shrug while carrying the bowl over to the table. You hurry back to the kitchen to grab two saucers and plate up the dessert.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say you're trying to butter me up." he comments, intently watching as you carefully slice through the layers. "What do you know about English food?"
"Not much, which is why this is a special occasion. I can get some insight from a genuine Englishman," you slide the saucer to him. "Everything happens for a reason, I guess you were meant to be here tonight" you don’t realize how weird that comment is until it's already left your mouth. You suppress the feeling and internally cringe. You take a seat with your own plate and try a bite. "Hey, that's not too bad. I think Gordon Ramsey would be proud"
Simon actually chuckles when you compliment yourself making you giggle in return. This whole night is very different than you expected. Not that you were complaining.
Your leg bumps his underneath the narrow table. Your bare foot brushing up the edge of his pant leg for the briefest moment. A deep blush rises to your cheeks the second you realize it's his leg instead of the table's.
"Oh, sorry!" you quickly draw your legs underneath your chair. Simon pauses his eating and meets your gaze.
"S'alright," he slowly slides his long leg across the distance and nudges the shin of your tucked legs with the toe of his boot. "You scared?"
"What?" you allow your legs to relax, your calves sitting on either side of his outstretched leg. It felt natural, almost domestic. "You don't scare me." you're lying paired with an anxious laugh.
"No?" As he says this his foot shifts underneath the supports of your chair and yanks it forward causing your chair to skid a few inches across the tile, pressing you further into the table as you let you a surprised yelp. Hands brace against the edge of the table. Simon maintains his calm composure. "Are you sure?" he takes another bite of the fluffy dessert.
You weren't sure if it was the liquor going to your head or the rush of adrenaline but you felt bold. You rest your cheek on your propped up hand, offering the most innocent eyes you can muster, as you delicately slide your foot along the smooth leather of his boot. Simon swallows and gently places his fork back on the table.
"What do you think of it?" you question in a hushed tone. your foot travels further up his ankle, dipping under his pant leg to feel his hot skin underneath.
"It's sweet," He states simply but his words roll off his tongue smooth as butter.
"Not too sweet?" You tilt your head the slightest bit.
"Hm," he hums in contemplation. Your eyes drift down to watch his hands grasp his drink. He grips the glass in his large palm. The rolled sleeves of his long sleeve reveal the muscles in his arm shifting when he raises the glass to his mouth. For the first time you notice a faint raised scar cutting through the outer corner of his lip and stopping just shy of the edge of his nose. He takes a long swig of the brown liquid, not quite finishing the drink. As he pulls back his lips glisten in the warm light. "Not bad when it's paired with a stiff drink," his tongue is quick to swipe across, collecting the residue.
"I'll be sure to make a note of that." you smile sweetly. "Can I get you another drink?" You look down at the last sip coating the bottom of the glass. You make sure to flutter your lashes when you look back up at him.
"Are you trying to get me drunk?" A smirk raises the corner of his mouth.
"No," you laugh. "Why, do you want me to?"
He releases a deep gravelly laugh that makes your stomach stir. Then he glances at his watch and your stomach drops.
"I need to get going." He mumbles. He pulls his leg away from yours and rises out of his chair.
"Wait," you rush to stand, almost knocking your seat over in the process. "Can I- uh- get you a bit of pasta to go? There’s plenty left" Trying to think of any excuse to keep him here a moment longer.
"S'okay, save it. Maybe I'll come by another time." He turns and steps out of your kitchen and into the hallway leading to your front door in only a few wide strides.
"Are you sure?" You don't intend for your voice to come out as needy as it does. You follow on his heels like a lost puppy.
"I've got an early morning." Before he reaches the door he turns, seemingly surprised by how close you are to him. He looks down at your big round eyes.
"Okay," you smile trying not to look defeated. "Well, you're welcome over anytime. I mean it, just knock and I'll probably be home. I'm gonna try writing at home more. Try to avoid that guy." You let out a halfhearted chuckle. "Maybe, you should get my number. Y'know, in case you want to check if I'm home."
"I'm alright, I'll just knock" His hand finds the doorknob. "Thanks for dinner, it was nice" Then he turns to go. Closing the door politely behind him.
You rush to the peephole, watching his distorted figure step out of sight followed by the sound of his own door shutting. You rest your hot forehead against the cool wood grain of your door.
You step back in the kitchen and begin putting away the leftovers. Piling the pasta into tupperware, rinsing the plates, collecting silverware. His glass remains in place with a sliver of scotch leftover. You hold the glass up in the light and see a faint smudge on its rim. You twist the cup around so your own mouth lines up with the imprint he left. You swallow the last bit slowly, savoring the way the sharp burn eases into a smooth, smoky aftertaste. You never liked scotch, but now you are starting to understand the meaning of an acquired taste.
The low atmospheric music is abruptly interrupted by an ad loudly cutting through the calm space. You rush into the living room to find the remote, hiding among the cushions and various throw pillows. Growing frustrated you end up walking over and manually hitting the power button. The silence that replaces it isn’t much better though. You step back and let your weak legs carry you until you collapse onto the comfort of your couch. The wine followed by the glass of scotch you polished off makes your head feel light but your limbs so heavy. You turn from your back to your side, realizing the used glass is still clutched in your hand.
You reach across the gap and set it down on the coffee table with a thud. Your hand retreats back to rest under your head. You stare at it, taking in all the imperfections left on its reflective surface. Your eyes trace the rim once again looking for the smudge. On the corner you see the shadow of an impression peeking out underneath the red lipstick mark you have smeared over it.
𝜗𝜚
Across the wall Simon falls back on his own couch. He looks around his dull apartment wondering what you have done differently to make your place look so welcoming. He never minded the minimal decorations he had. A photo frame with his team that his buddy gifted him and a couple of books always seemed like enough. After comparison though it just feels empty.
He can hear you stomp across your floor. Footstep rushing from the kitchen until you're straight ahead. The sound of your TV turning off bathes the room in sudden silence. Only thing he can hear now is the rushing of his air conditioning unit. He considered your music annoying but now he couldn’t deny the way it added an unconscious energy to the small unit. Now sitting here, the cool tone of the overhead kitchen light illuminating into the living room he feels as though something is missing. Maybe a nice lamp would help.
━━━━⊱♡⊰━━━━
@azkza @neurolept @contractedcriteria @hidden-treasures21 @sprokat @stark-red19
#call of duty#cod x reader#cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley fic#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost cod#ghost mw2
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NEW TO THIS₊ ⊹₊
social media au
pairing: toto wolff & y/nhorner
inspired by the request: '' can I request a continuation of the toto fic you posted about him dating Horner's daughter??''
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
in which you persuade toto to create his own instagram account
y/nhorner
liked by lewishamilton, maxverstappen1 and other 34,321 people
life lately...doing nothing, only painting
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user45: there is no toto in your life lately?🥲
user65: dying to get more toto content PLSSSS
user78: beautiful😍
maxverstappen1: nice job🤌
⤵y/nhorner: made this in the motorhome proud of myself🤘
user09: well guys its been months and no signal from the two, I guess we only have mercedes to give us the toto content we need
user78: so natural😍😍
totowolff
liked by lewishamilton, mercedesamgf1, y/nhorner and other 432,123 other people
Hallo Instagram👋🏻 I am new to all this and also so excited!
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y/nhorner: you are toto-lly so welcome
user67: HOW CAN WE EVEN THANK TO Y/N? LIKE TOTO. WOLFF. CREATED AN ACCOUNT
user89: so freaking hot 🙏🏻🙏🏻
user00: now we are waiting for the girlfriend content
⤵user34: *gets blocked by horner
user87: the fact that he only follows Y/N and his team... not even lewis our george. I JUST CAN'T
christianhorner: like you really had to create one?
⤵ user01: if you have a problem change your fucking '' attitude''
⤵totowolff: yes.
totowolff
liked by mercedesamgf1, y/nhorner and other 567,312 other people
back when I was younger...
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y/nhorner: you are using your account just like how I thought you would...
⤵totowolff: like what?
⤵y/nhorner: like an uncle retired from the army and misses his youngster years
y/nhorner has added to their story
totowolff replied
: ich liebe dich
: so greatful to have you, even though I hate your father
y/nhorner
: I love you too
: wait till my father hears about this
totowolff
liked by mercedeamgf1 and other 789.234 other people
tagged: y/nhorner
my biggest support, love of my life... so glad we are in this together. ( she is supporting mercedes)
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user45: horner killing himself right away
y/nhorner: I LOVE YOU
user56: toto saw that tweet about him posting himself lmao
user45: THEY ARE SO CUTEEEE
#f1 x you#f1 fandom#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#charles leclerc x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x female reader#f1 x y/n#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x you#toto wolff au#toto wolff x y/n#toto wolff smut#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff fanfic#toto wolff#toto wolff imagine#toto wolff x you#mercedes amg f1
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The Thrall Children of Himring
A continuation of this here, with the help of @apocalypso-36 with Elrond, and @animeandbooksarelife who created itty bitty beastie.
Correspondence between Lord Elrond of Imladris and Lady Idril of Dol Amroth
Scholar Idril, I am an attentive reader of your works, especially when my own name comes up in it. I am writing to you now to inform you of an error you made, in referring to my blessed late brother, King Elros Tar-Minyatur, and myself as the 'Thrall-Children' of Maedhros Feanorion. I strongly believe I speak for both myself and my beloved twin when I humbly beg you edit your works to instead refer to us as his 'foster children'. While the conditions were far from ideal, and there was no shortage of problems with our relationship, he and Maglor Feanorion took care of us to the best of their ability. Thank you for your consideration. Lord Elrond Peredhel, Herald of High King Gil-Galad, Bannerman of Lindon.
My lord Elrond, I would like to start by profusely thanking you for taking a moment to correspond with a humble scholar, such as myself. As for the error you mentioned, it is no error at all, for I was referring to Maedhros’ apparent tendency to take in the children of escaped thralls or young escaped thralls themself, if they found themselves in need of shelter. I have only found two of these children ever referred to by name, the first named Ruinmir and the second only ever referred to as levain or little beast, but there is substantial evidence that they were not the only ones. Though I see now that my phrasing was confusing and I should reword for the sake of clarity. Though, now that you have opened dialogue, I find myself compelled yet again to ask if you would be willing to shed some light on certain details, as we seen the confusions that may come from working without the invaluable insight of people such as yourself. With admiration and hope of continued dialogue, Lady Idril of Dol Amroth
Excerpts of “On thralls and their lives in the north-east of Beleriand” by Saelgol of Lothlorien
“The greatest thrall communities were indeed centered on and concentrated around the fortress of Himring. Census data recovered from the ruins on Tol-Himling explicitly marks out it’s thrall populations, in a similar way to how they denote other elven cultures. Thralls are identified much the same way as the vanya, noldo and sinda populations. Though they enjoyed an additional measure of acceptance within Maedhros’s lands, does not mean they were considered a culture of their own right, rather than outcasts, living along the fringes of elven territories.” pp. 17
“Heavy policing of thrall communities was a common enough practice. Many lords feared that they were a threat to public order, “bringing back from angband barbaric practices and dark ghosts in their hearts”(Helcariel) such as bloodsport, a musical tradition named “night howling” by outside observers, and post-mortem cannibalism of their dead. These practices shook Exiles to their core, though Maedhros himself is said to have been disturbingly unbothered by it, which only added to his orcish reputation.”pp. 48
“Parentless children were a distressingly common sight amongst thralls. Often their caretakers had gone to great pains to smuggle them from the cursed land with no consideration for their own escape, or had been killed in the arduous trek. Others still were given mercy deaths at the hands of their brethren as they were too far gone to survive outside Angband. As a result, many children arrived alone into the care of thrall communities.” pp. 69
“Lord Maedhros was often noted to take in these children. Some of the very few written records we have from the hand of a thrall comes from a village chief, who wrote to Himring saying “We have two more mouths that we can feed, otorno. Two boys and a girl. The young boy and the young girl are desperately ill and we do not think they will survive, but the elder boy is healthy, he says his name is Ruinmir, and that the two younger are his little beasts.” And about a century later, we have records of an elf named Ruinmir Aldion, working in as a scout for Maedhros, and listed to have a dependant recorded as Levain, which I have verified is not a proper name but an epessë roughly translating to “Beastie.” By the accounts we have, the lord Maedhros fostered them both personally, though he never adopted either of them in earnest.” pp. 70
#I'm having too much fun procrastinating my actual academic work#also mention of cannibalism?#like truly offhanded but it's there#art#silmarillion#tolkien#writing#epistolary#Elrond#maedhros#oc#Ruinmir#Beastie#himring#worldbuilding#thralls of angband
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Yandere drider x male butterfly reader. I don't see those often and it's mostly fem reader
Yandere Drider Captures You in His Web
[Yandere! Drider x M! Butterfly Reader]
·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆
You were flying around in the warm Spring air, enjoying the feeling of the sunbeams warming up your large, golden wings.
All of the flowers were starting to bloom, and you were looking forward to feasting on their sweet nectar. You were in awe at the sights and smells of the luscious violets, rhododendrons, and the bright red roses.
It was the roses that captured your attention the most, and you couldn't help but flutter closer to the pristine flowers, eager to taste its sweetness--
"Fuck!" you cried out as soon as you felt your beautiful wings get tangled up in something sticky that held you in place, refusing to let you go.
Out of instinct, you tried to thrash your delicate body all around, desperate to free yourself from whatever held you close-- but it was no use. No matter how hard you struggled, you couldn't get loose. In fact, it almost felt as if whatever held you was getting stronger by the second.
Your frantic eyes darted around, trying to see what held you. As soon as you saw the white, rope-like structure that held you, your heart dropped.
A spider web.
You were stuck in a spider web that was created right in front of the largest red rose in the garden that you were flying around in.
What a horrendous trap!
You tried in vain to free yourself some more, your beautiful wings completely restrained by the sticky web.
"Don't struggle too hard, Darling," a deep voice echoed out, making you freeze.
Your heat racing like crazy, you looked upwards and nearly screamed out in fear at the large drider who studied you as you were stuck in his web.
The drider's long eight legs slowly maneuvered him downwards, towards you. His eyes focused in on your terrified face, and when he smiled, you got a full view of his massive, sharp fangs that would tear through your flesh with ease.
Despite your panic, the drider's smile only grew larger as he descended, drawing closer and closer to you.
"Oh, such a pretty little butterfly that I caught in my web," the drider mused, stopping right beside you. He walked on the sticky web with ease, moving without a problem as you struggled.
He reached out with one of his claws, running the soft hand over your trembling cheek. His skin was hot to the touch, and when he touched you, you swore his smile grew in size.
"You're so pretty," the drider mused, unable to take his eyes off you.
You struggled to free yourself some more, but it was futile. You couldn't move a muscle while trapped in the web, your large wings trying to beat rapidly; but all that did was get them tangled up even more.
"I can't believe that I caught something as pretty as you in my homey, little web," the drider continued, his tongue flicking out over his bottom lip.
All you could focus on were the large fangs in the drider's mouth, and when he saw your frightened expression, the drider frowned.
"Oh Darling," he cooed gently, running another hand along your cheek in a way that was meant to be comforting, "I don't know if you know this, but some driders, such as myself, don't capture cute butterflies in our webs to eat..."
He leaned in closer, pressing his warm lips to your clammy forehead.
"...but we catch you to make you ours, forever."
"Wh-what?" you barely breathed, unsure if you'd heard the drider correctly. "What do you mean?"
The drider chuckled and began to toy with the webs some more, stretching them out over your trapped body to wrap you up into a tighter, silk cocoon. He made sure that your limbs were secured in the web at your sides, making it easier for him to lift you up into his arms, cradling you against his chest as he carried you over to the rose bush. Near the bottom was a little crevice that formed a tiny den that would hide the two of you away from the rest of the world.
"What I mean, my Darling," the drider clarified as he dragged you into his den, "is that you're not my food, but you're my love, my darling, mine.
And only mine."
·゜·:.。..。.:·☆·゜·:.。..。.:·☆
A/N: Sorry if this one wasn't that good or accurate. I've never heard of a drider before... and I am terrified of spiders lol.
#yandere boyfriend#yandere boy#yandere x reader#yandere x you#obsessive love#possessive boyfriend#asks#drider#yandere drider#drider x you#male reader#yandere drider x you
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🚨Very serious attention
I am Dina, a mother of 3 children. I created my donation link 3 months ago. During this period, I worked very hard to reach the amount I collected, but when the site started sending me money, a serious problem occurred. In fact, for me, the amount I collected during this period was frozen. I had high hopes for this amount. I promised my children, who have been suffering from the horrors of war for 11 months, that I would change their lives for the better with this money, but all my dreams were shattered by the mere freezing of the money. With a heavy heart, I ask you to continue to support me so that I can make up for this amount that I lost and make my children happy again. I ask you, from the heart of a mother who is grieving the disappointment of her children, to support me and share my post so that I can compensate myself and my children for what we have been through. Thank you.
@appsa @el-shab-hussein @nesmamomen @ibtisams @nabulsi @jezior0 @gooseworx @90-ghost @sayruq @schoolhater @sar-soor @serica-e @malcriada @aleciosun
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