#i comment on Facebook so i can rant on Tumblr

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I am I the asshole for telling someone what they were doing was "mean spirited and cruel"?

(submitted this a while back but was never posted - don't know if tumblr ate it or if it broke a rule, but i'm sorry if its the latter)

My complex has a facebook page where residents can post questions or concerns to other residents. One day a woman posted asking if we could move the food bowls where people feed the feral cat colony that lives near us because when she walks her dogs they always lunge at the cats; she had just had surgery and it hurt when they pulled on the leash. Someone responded saying they had moved the bowls down and that seemed like that.

Two days later she posted again saying that our "kind and caring neighbor" (her) had called someone to come pick up the cats. From another comment on the post it seemed like she had talked to someone IRL who was rude and basically told her "I've been feeding the cats for 10 years fuck off" and then called animal control immediately after that.

This felt really petty to me, and I posted saying that calling animal control on the cats was "mean spirited and cruel". I explained that almost all feral cats taken in are put down, and that she was making a decision about the community's cats without consulting the community. I added that I was sorry she had been hurting since her surgery, but that there were other steps she should have taken before this.

She responded that I needed to have more compassion for her as she herself was very compassionate and caring person. To which I responded that she should then extend that compassion to these cats that had never hurt anyone. (Seriously, they just chill around our complex and eat rats – they’ve never scratched or bit any person or animal)

She responded that they hurt her “fur babies” everyday because they make her dogs pull at their leashes and choke themselves. She then went on a rant about how she didn’t understand why people weren’t respecting her anger and that since she lived here she had a right to want the cats gone. She also mentioned that calling her “mean spirited and cruel” had racial connotations and that I wouldn’t call a white person that.

Important context, I am a white woman – up until this point I had not realized that she was a black woman as this argument was in a facebook group and the pictures were small. But it is very possible this is something I saw and internalized without consciously recognizing it.

I was really thrown by this, and just replied yes, I would and that I’m sorry it hurt to hear, but that is what her actions were. (Which, yeah, nobody ever not in the racist category uses the ‘I’d say that to anyone!’ excuse, but I truly didn’t know what to say). She continued to respond to my comment saying how I was a pitiful person if I’d really call anyone that, and that I hadn’t addressed any of her other points.

More people where commenting at the same time on this post, and while she responded to all of them my “mean spirited and cruel” comment apparently really got her because she kept bringing it up in arguments with other people. She really felt that people were being unjustifiably angry and mean to her for something she thought she had a right to do.

It also came out that she had apparently posted complaining about the cats the day before but it had gotten so out of hand the post was deleted before I could see it. She had also gotten into several arguments IRL with people feeding the cats. This explains why she felt so ganged up on I suppose – though none of this I knew before replying.

The next day she specifically made a new post calling out racists in our community and tagged me and few other people (even other POC) who had disagreed with her about the cats. I didn’t respond, but fairly quickly that and the post from before were deleted.

I’ve been really trying to think about if my internalized racism did unknowingly influence my actions, but I honestly keep coming back to the fact that I think I would have said the same to anyone who tried to get a cat colony killed because her dogs try to attack them.

Also for those curious – the cat colony is still here! It turns out removing a cat colony from their home is actually considered animal cruelty and is illegal in this state

What are these acronyms?

[icejinlov3r]

*sigh* You know, I'm really happy to have found Tumblr. Because there are a lot more Frost fans on here than on Facebook.

Awhile ago, I joined some random DB group on Facebook just to be able to share my thoughts, see fanart, and even some funny memes - basically what Tumblr has been doing for me all the time. Anyway, just a couple days ago, someone made a post asking which character we'd wanna see more content on in the canon anime, Frost or Cabba?

Of course, I said Frost, because anyone who reads my fanfics or follows this account knows I love him and Frieza, and I even stated as much in the comments of that Facebook post. Only two days have passed and I look back at it, and several people choose Cabba over Frost. Now I definitely understand why, Frost's character could've been so much better flushed out in the anime.

But it kinda sucks to read the comments saying Frost was a shitty character, or a stupid knock off of Frieza, or is totally weak - basically always talking shit about Frost. And it seems whenever I try to share my love of Frost with this Facebook group (because I'm not ashamed to admit it, no matter how unliked he is) people kinda give me shit about it. I can't even imagine the reactions I'd get if I posted any of my Frieza/Frost art on there.

....sorry, super random rant, I know. My main point of this is that I'm happy to have Tumblr, where I can not only better express my love for Frost, but there are other Frost fans on here who like him as much as I do.

[rgbcn]

Yea I meant that like other than @fort-cozy-mcblanket who according to you has good shamy headcanons and fanfic ideas or if you don't remember whom do u reblog from mostly things related to shamy recently????

Is that weird that I don’t remember all nicknames? 🙈 i’ve been in the fandom for 9 years and between all social media, people who has different nicknames in different social media, fanfiction,patreon and discord and here and instagram and personal accounts etc to be honest I have a lot of personal struggles and no, I don’t pay attention to who I reblog stuff or who is the author of the posts. I see the post, I mostly read all I can in less than 10 seconds and reblog if I find interesting, agree or not with the content but if I think it that other people might like then I reblog. Because that way people who follow me would find the accounts in my reblogs and follow them if they like.

Also tumblr is very difficult to mention people if you don’t remember the EXACT letters of the name 😭 and no, I don’t remember them, I have visual memory and I recognize them when scrolling, but not to spell them or remember if there’s dashes in between names or weird combinations etc. i even find my own nickname weird, but I use it the same everywhere.

Maybe it’s a problem of mine, I’ve talked to so many people during all these years that I partially disattatched myself from all as I received so many hate and people who wanted to just use me and other people who I thought there were my friends and left me wondering what happened when they blocked me. There’s was one person from the fandom who was my friend from years who even blocked me from facebook because I announced I was pregnant 🤷🏻‍♀️ There was a time that if I did a drawing from a fanfic or I mentioned someone more in my posts, people accused me to have favorites and idk what bullsh*t that I find so juvenile. I have 43 years old, I’m exhausted and I just want to daydream and draw what I love and write my ideas. And sleep.

Sorry if that is not the answer you searched from me, if you wanted a list of people to follow, please check my reblogs and I’m sure you will find great active accounts. If I like a headcanon I’m sure I added a “love this” “thisss” or another comment below the reblog

Thanks again for the ask, sorry if you wanted another answer. It ended being kind of a rant if mine 😅

[taylorhawkins]

I haven't been active on anything lately so I don't know, what kind of hate are the foos getting? also just why? how can anyone give them hate after what they're going through

Hi love ❤️ Ugh, so I haven’t seen it on tumblr, mainly just Instagram & Facebook & YouTube, but there’s been a lot of hate comments towards Josh, and to the band for continuing on without Taylor, calling them greedy and money hungry and saying they don’t care about him. Like??? It’s fucking ridiculous. I did think some of the new music is a little forced sounding - not that they’re trying to rush it or anything but just that they’re struggling to continue without him, which I think is a natural part of the healing process and I’ve seen it in other bands I love that lost a member. It’s not like they just went oh here’s the new guy we’re resuming as normal, they’re honoring him at every show and they made a record dedicated to him, I haven’t seen Dave get through one FF performance without tears since then, and Josh is an amazing guy AND he has the hawk logo all over his drums. And he was friends with Taylor. 🙄

It kinda reminds me of how many people just brushed over the rest of the band when Taylor died and singled out Dave as the only one that could be grieving. Like yes, maybe he took it the hardest since they were the closest, but I seldom heard how Pat must feel despite the fact that he’s lost 3 bandmates now, or how Nate must feel despite the fact that he knew Taylor and loved Taylor for 25 years too, or how Chris and Rami felt despite the fact they were best friends with Taylor too and were just as impacted by him. Like they are very open about how they’re all best friends, and the fact that Josh has stepped in to act as the glue to prevent them from drifting apart and to stick together during such a painful time makes me incredibly happy… I have no idea why other people see it as a bad thing. And the whole “greed” thing is probably coming from Karens who can’t wrap their head around the fact that most musicians make music because they love it, not because of the money, and that’s why they’re containing on as a band lmfao

I hate to give it attention but it was a lot of comments and it honestly shocked me, I was thinking the same thing. How can anybody be that fucking cruel and senseless after all they’ve been through is beyond me. I guess maybe it’s coming from a perspective of not wanting the band to be different or to see someone else behind the kit, but they have to move on and heal, and it’s selfish for people to not want them to do that. But then again there’s a lot of loonies out there that believe in wild conspiracies or that Dave worked him to death or forced him to do things against his will so who fucking knows 🤦🏻‍♀️

Thank you for the ask 💓💓 sorry I ranted a little there LOL

[htfs-ranked-on]

could ya rank them from most likely to get into a twitter argument to least likely?

think it’d be kinda funny lol

sniffles: i just know in my heart that this man is so chronically online. his twitter account is 90% him going back and forth with flat earthers

giggles: there's a tumblr post floating around of someone calling someone a slur and then putting "/neg" on the end and i think giggles does that on twitter every single day

handy: okay handy doesn't so much get into twitter beef as much as he posts paragraph long rants calling someone an idiot and then immediately blocks them afterwards

cuddles: definitely has a stantwt account. do y'all remember the youtube 101 short where he left a hate comment on disco bear's channel that appeared to be entirely swear words? that's at least half of what he does on twitter

disco bear: exclusively fights with cuddles but other than that his account is mostly selfies

splendont: he doesn't post much but when he does it's usually to argue with someone

lifty and shifty: these two don't go out of their way to get into twitter beef but they will happily participate if it comes across their feed + they are Always having the most cartoonish fights with each other on no provocation.

splendid: he... technically Has a twitter but he runs it like a brand account. it's all convention dates and quote tweets going "Thank you so much to @(insert the most heinous stantwt username you can think of) for the wonderful fan art!" captioned over a tweet of some risque fanart of him

mime: has a twitter but mostly just posts pictures and videos of tricks he does and stuff like that. captions them exclusively in emoji for the bit.

nutty: too busy playing video games to get into twitter fights

russell: he's over on youtube posting "hamilton slime tutorials" he's not on twitter

lammy: she never actually Says anything on her twitter she just posts aesthetic moodboards and pictures of flowers

flippy: he has a twitter he rarely uses. will sometimes retweet lammy's flower pictures but that's about it.

mole: facebook user (derogatory)

petunia: petunia is chronically OFFline for her mental health because the one time she tried to get on twitter she got stuck in a doomscrolling spiral for 6 hours and had to be dragged out of it by handy

flaky: they follow maybe 10 people on twitter and 3 of them are baseball fun fact accounts

[orionsangel86]

I remember also seeing somewhere that someone said RTD would have to put blood, sweat, and tears into proving that people wouldn’t be showing up to the BBC with pitchforks and torches for them to even consider having a trans character who was as well represented as Rose. However, I should also point out that I know absolutely nothing about the BBC since I’m a born and raised American, so I could definitely be wrong on how true that is (even though I absolutely would not be surprised if it is). But also if it is true, rounds of applause because I can bet most media networks here still could never for a good handful of years.

Basically I think the fact that it was only 144 complaints out of over 7 million people watching is very telling that whatever proof RTD probably had to show to the BBC was 100% solidified. Dude proved that it really is just the conspiracy nuts and people of the Fox News religion that make the world seem like it’s worse than it is.

Yeah so the BBC is public funded TV rather than relying on advertising for income so their whole deal is that they SHOULD be representing all tax payers in their programming. A lot of older conservative people tend to forget this and feel that anything that deviates from the "norm" is an incorrect use of "their money" so they get on their high horses and complain like the snowflakes they are.

The BBC SHOULD be pushing boundaries and taking risks with their stuff, but they are still resistant and no where near as forward thinking as say Channel 4 - whose whole deal was about pushing boundaries and attracting a younger more liberal audience.

I can well believe RTD had to fight for Rose's inclusion but the truth is the "trans panic" is very much an invention of the right wing media, right wing politicians, and hateful assholes like JK Rowling. Regular people in the UK quite frankly don't give a shit. They may get irritated for a bit when a new click bait article appears with some incendiary comment like "nurses no longer allowed to call female people "women" and have to refer to everyone by their genitalia" which we know is a bullshit twist on the truth but after rolling their eyes and having a few morons go on facebook rants, no one is gathering pitchforks and torches in the UK with a mind to round up and attack all trans people. Yes there is potentially a rise in hate crimes DUE TO the medias trans panic invention, but I hope that the minimal complaints and the popularity of that episode can at least show some trans people that the UK is not as bad as it has been made out to be these past few years.

Thats also partly why i have commented on two posts about the 144 complaints now, because i can see trans people on tumblr getting upset about it when in the bigger picture its totally irrelevant and nothing to be worried about. You are just as likely to be taken in by the media's fake trans panic as anyone else, but young fearful trans people are more likely to get upset by it when its all been blown out of proportion. 144 complaints is a regular episode of Eastenders. The BBC wont pay attention to that nonsense so please take comfort in that.

[lacrimarii]

i was seeing some misinfo in your comments, some folks need to touch grass and interact with real cripples and cpunks offline.

as a Cripple, cpunk has ALWAYS included mental and intellectual disorders. To say otherwise is to go against the core function of cpunk. The brain is just as much an organ as the heart or the skin, it can be just as disabling as any other part of your body can be, and to pretend otherwise opens folks up to harm(you also don't need to identity with the words cripple OR punk to be cpunk or align with the values of folks who are cpunk)

do not let folks try to tell you which disabled person is "allowed" to say or do what based on their assumptions on your experience. To do so tries to force disabled experiences into boxes, boxes that prevent us access to care. If you operate in a way that seeks to do less harm and in a way that suits your disabled needs, you're probably fine.

you are disabled, you need a mobility aid, you can say cripple. You can say retard too, I promise the person calling you a retard isn't checking to see if you have an intellectual disorder before they weaponize against your autistic traits, and regardless of origin, cripple and retard have LONG since been applied to folks of varying disabilities. bc our treatment hinges on people perceptions of disability, NOT our actual lived experiences. Don't let others give you "permission" to do or say things, make informed choices for yourself that suit your needs, get you care, and build your community, aim to not do harm.

I recommend interacting with some work by Alice Wong/DisabilityVisibility Project, Krip Hop Nation, Robert Mcruer, and with engaging with any local disabled folks you find. if you dig around, there tends to be groups on facebook to look into :> prioritize listening to disabled voices of color on this, white cripples do not always have the Best Takes when it comes to community organizing, and often get very possessive over their slurs and views, despite the fact they mainly just spew whatever they heard from disabled poc like some sick game of telephone.

you will also never find an answer that appeased all disabled folks, we are not a monolith. do what helps you and reduces harm. Do a LOT of research into cpunk and then enter at your own pace.

sorry for the rant! I dissappear now! anon so that I don't get my ass reamed online and you can engage with this at your own pace/choice. ^^ have a good one!!

Thanks for the tips and resources anon! I had the term retard in mind because that's what I've been called in school a lot.

Also sorry for the late reply, I only used tumblr from a browser til now and I'm still getting used to the app.

[marmota-b]

As a non-American, I relate SO HARD.

Not to the burger craving, personally, but to all the warnings.

I have had this happen to me:

Proudly post photo of homemade breadrolls in a Facebook group. Have an American come into the comments with "To be eaten with [insert American brand of butter]? 🙂"

Like... I just don't get it. I don't understand why you would write that under someone's proudly shared photo of homemade breadrolls. I can even understand *you* may have a craving for that brand of butter, and feel it's the only one worthy of putting on homemade bradrolls. And had they said "I would really enjoy these with some [insert American brand of butter]" I would probably still pass it over and not rant about it about a year or two later. I don't understand the impulse to assume everyone else on the World Wide Web cares about brands to that extent AND shares your brand preferences (and experience).

I am also assuming here, but I have a strong feeling something like that was behind the OP's need to attach warnings and turn this into an observation of internet habits. I can totally see this post, without that warning, devolving into a long argument over which American burger franchise is the best and should be OP's franchise of choice, and non-Americans coming in with "Americans with their fast food!", when all they were saying was a personal observation of "blast, I have a craving so strong I feel the need to share it on Tumblr".

Also, I had all this to say on the matter a while ago. So, yeah, I totally relate to having to hedge one's online posts with "no, I'm not American."

i want yummy bugrer

[wemlygust]

so are all city subreddits just absolute trash fires all the time or... ? It is just mine? Blue state, but the subreddit is filled with neoliberal "homeless people aren't people" type rants and "why are you inconveniencing me with your protest" blowhards and republicans. And then at most a few random commenters in every thread going like 0.o "what the fuck guys why are you like this" or maybe sometimes trying to have earnest arguments with the other people but not really getting any honest engagement in return. Even a post that's just a photo of a sunset or something can devolve rapidly into a fight about homeless people's value as human beings (who have value fucking obviously). I guess everyone else is on tumblr or maybe facebook or something. I hope. It gets unbearable quick so I guess others like me must just be like "wow this place is miserable" and stop looking at it.

Tldr: don't reddit, still not worth it, can confirm.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Not to defend this hellsite too much. But I will say the culture on commenting is so much better than on Instagram or Facebook.

On those platforms the comments are generally adversarial. It’s just mud slinging insults and random political rants.

I think in large part this is because of the older (boomer, I can do no wrong) user base and the fact that the more engagement a comment gets, the higher it is in the comment thread. Controversy gets lots of engagement.

Like the comments are still full of stupid on tumblr. But I feel it’s easier to avoid the psychic damaging stupidity on here simply by the fact that the site doesn’t actively push the dumbest comments to the top and you can also just avoid those communities of the site with the worst opinions.

[cranberrymist]

Why I like Tumblr

Can I be honest? This is a total rant post about a lot of stuff, but mainly why I feel comfortable with posting things on tumblr but not other places. I was just scrolling Instagram cuz I like to see my friends and sometimes there's funny hahas. I read a post (probably stolen from twitter) about how the richest person on their block put a note in everyone's mailbox asking for them to try and be quiet for a wedding ceremony they are having in their back yard at 2 pm right? That's all it said. At 2 pm on the dot, their neighbor starts lawn mowing and OP thought it was like the best thing ever. I just don't get it? That's not the main point tho. Main point = the comment section. I hate insta specifically because of the comment sections. It's literally just rancid. 50/50 on whether they sided with lawnmower person which is fine right? But some of the takes like make me physically uncomfortable. The thought that some people genuinely don't care about others makes me feel so weird. Like it's not hard to just be quiet for a little? I know they didn't give an end date to it and at first I was like omg they want them to be quiet from 2pm onwards until the next day and then I realized I'm pretty sure it clarified like wedding ceremony which only takes 20-30 minutes and the fact people are STILL mad??? Saying like 'ain't nobody gonna tell me what to do in my hose that I pay for' was one comment and like,,, they just asked politely?? I get we hate rich people, but honestly? They probably aren't that rich if their having a backyard wedding with some friends and family. And then someone started ranting about Gen Z even though no ages were mentioned in the post and then it turns out HE'S A GEN Z! And he called every other Gen Z (that wasn't himself of course cuz how could he ever relate to us plebs) so many horrible names?? And there's so many horrible comments on Insta that are so much worse than these and it's really horrible when all I want to do is see comments about the post, but there's always so many hateful people in the comments. I'll view a post by like an OF girl I'm friends with who is so sweet and everyone is just calling her fat??? or the n word?? or being sexist (which is expected but I wish it wasn't).

Anyways, I feel like I don't see that as much on Tumblr cuz you can perfectly curate your feed and no one really interacts with things they don't like on here. Like if I don't like something on here I just put it in my filtered out tags or say not interested on the post (or even block the person if I think it's a real bad take) but I never interact with the poster themselves like I'm never going to talk to them unless like they're harassing someone, but even then I'll probably just report. I just don't get why you would interact with things that make you feel bad or upset that don't have to do with human or animal rights nor helping the environment. Like if I say my favorite color is pink and you go mines blue! that's a meaningful moment of connection. If I go my favorite colors pink and you go kys pink sucks blue all the way, I'm going to actually implode and like dm your family on facebook or something with the message (if it's bad enough). Like genuinely I just want to be around posters who either agree with me or are mature enough to disagree and not attack me for my different opinion and I feel like tumblr allows me to do that in a safe way and also anonymously which I love cuz I hate people knowing who I am unless I'm specifically texting them. Also there's so many niches on here and i've discovered so many things that I enjoy everyday now on here and i feel like, for the most part, people are really passionate on here about some really amazing things and I love reading when someone's going off about a niche detail of a show we both love and then I can be like 'wow, you've opened my mind to new things' and that's just the best feeling

[friendly-neighborhood-arsonist]

Ok so, I personally wouldn't mind if every 10th or 20th post on my dash isn't by someone I follow. However I don't want it to get Facebook or Instagram bad.

I'd also like a toggle that can remove specific posts I've already reacted to (like, comment, reblog, etc). By specific I mean if I like reblog A, the original and reblog B will still show up in my feed but not reblog A.

I'd also like the ability to toggle off my posts being in my feed i made them I don't need to see them again..

I know a lot of tumblr users are mad at this but tumblr IS a company and they do need to make money somehow. More people looking at more posts = more ads = more money.

And yeah if you want to follow meme accounts those are super easy to find. However on one of my other blogs which was a reptile blog I struggled finding people to follow. I had to scour through tags and posts to try and find new accounts, I looked at basically every account recommended to me. It was HARD to find reptile accounts I wanted to follow because I didn't want ANY reptile account. I don't want to see Bob keeping his snakes in tanks way too small for them on repticarpet with one hide and no cover. I don't want to follow an account on my reptile tumblr that posts about their snake every 20th post and other stuff the rest of the time (which you find a lot of those looking through tags). AND I was so sick of my account's super slow growth and tiny reach despite me taking several minutes with each post adding tags.

And before yall come at me, that account was made for education both for people who owned reptiles and those who didn't. The whole point of the account was to teach people. It's not teaching anyone if it's not even reaching anyone!!!!

That blog wasn't like this one that's full of ramblings and reblogs. I would spend like an hour writing and tagging a post for it to get like 3 likes if I was lucky. Even after making dozens of posts and being on the platform for awhile. I've been on Instagram for a much smaller amount of time, have maybe ~25 posts and have a much larger follower amount and engagement rate over there. I get instagram not being the same as tumblr. Trust me I do, and I do love tumblr. But in my experience tumblr is SHIT for creators as it doesn't push their work out to anyone. You know what gets recommended to me time and time again when I check out my for you? Memes, reblogs, rants, general blogging stuff. Art and other "creator" stuff is super rare!! And I follow artists.

I feel like on tumblr if you're a creative you grow at such a snail's pace even if you spend ages doing tags and make high quality stuff. Your only hope is to get a viral post or get picked up my a much more popular blog.

Tumblr is great for people wanting to goof off, rant or be silly not so much for creatives. I can guarantee you the ONLY reason I got any engagement at all on my reptile tumblr was because I stuffed my posts FULL of tags. Which I hate doing!!! But on this account I tag like every 40th post and even the untagged ones get engagement because people see them from my mutuals who reblog stuff.

The algorithmic feed idea sucks, we all agree there.

However if yall can't handle seeing a small amount of posts in your feed from tumblrs you don't follow so they can have a chance at growing that's on you.

Listen if they make it so like every 5th post isn't by someone who follows ill be yelling to staff about it just like you guys. However if they do go through with implementing it I might actually revive my reptile blog because it gives me some hope.

Because @staff is too cowardly…

[odinsblog]

i usually use the anon function bc im embarrassed to ask people things sjfjfjhs but I've never sent anything horrible to anyone!! I'm sorry you've had negative experiences with the anon function before, you don't deserve that at all!! sending love!

[re: this post]

Thank you. I genuinely appreciate you rn

People like you are literally the only reason why I don’t completely disable the anon feature, because I understand that sometimes people are shy, or they want to express themselves without taking shit. I actually dO get that

But alas, as with everything, there are those who abuse what really should be thought of as a nicety, or privilege—some people just abuse it

Very long rant, incoming

So here’s the thing, right? Sometimes when people are online, they act and behave in ways they wouldn’t dare to irl

I’m not the government. I don’t have a staff to edit my posts. I’m not anybody special. I’m just some dude on the internet who enjoys sharing my opinions and other things. If YOU don’t like or agree with my opinions or something else that I post, you are completely free to keep scrolling or to block me. That’s fine. But when anons begin demanding that I phrase things the way that they’re more comfortable with, then we got serious issues

And another thing: people need to not be so quick to assume malicious intent where none exists

For example, I have accidentally typed the number 500 in a post when I meant to type 50–now, in the specific post, it truly was a significant error. But an anon immediately jumped into the comments and self righteously accused me of lying to make a point, rather than saying to themselves, “Hm, maybe Odin just made a typo”

And my personal favorites

them: YOU’RE SPREADING MISINFORMATION AND DISINFORMATION !!!!

me: um, it was a fucking joke? do they have jokes where you come from?

Or,

me: posts a video of an alligator and some cranes, and adds a bit of whimsical commentary

them: WELL ACTUALLY, THAT IS PROBABLY PREDATORY BEHAVIOR AND I THINK YOU SHO-

me: no. goddamn, I can’t be fucking whimsical on a social media site? eat shit. stfu

And also,

them: well technically, it’s not really fascism

me: maybe not, but it’s fucking close enough. I’m not gonna wait for people to start getting marched into ovens and say, “now can we call it fascism??”

I have literally had all of these dumb, stupid ass conversations (almost verbatim) here on tumblrdotcom, and lemme tell ya, it’s frustrating af

And other times, when I author a post containing a hyperlink on desktop but then later edit it on mobile, sometimes the hyperlink doesn’t carry over to mobile and you’re left with a post that may say “source,” but is not clickable. It happens sometimes, and it’s not a big deal, right?? WRONG! Instead of sending an ask to ask me what happened to the link, I’ve had anons accuse me of “not crediting” a source

I’ve had people use anon to accuse me of cropping videos so that I could somehow “steal” credit from others, and I’m just like … What??? Who does that? Who has the time for all of that? Are you aware that sometimes people on the internet see something like a video or a photo from somewhere else (also uncredited from twitter, reddit, facebook, etc), and then just post it here on tumblr??

And no, I am not talking about reposting someone’s art or other works

Look, if YOU get your thrills from finding out who/where/when the very first instance of every single cat or dog video came from, that’s great! Do you. Knock yourself out. Have fun. But don’t try to shame others because we aren’t all humorless poindexters like you

If I post something from tiktok, the video generally tells you where to go to see it there. If it’s a tweet or from reddit, again, there are usually twitter or reddit handles in the tweet. And NO, I am not putting a link to every single tweet or reddit thread or facebook post — if that’s that important to you, then figure it out. It’s not hard, and in the year 2023 most adults should have the necessary skills to find an original tweet, if that’s something that’s important to you. I’m not doing it for you, not sorry

(SN: I’ll never forget when I took my first college English literature course, and at the end of the semester I was on the bubble for getting an A or an A+ in the class, and our final exam was a written essay that would decide my final grade. I didn’t quite score the A+ that I wanted, and when I looked over my essay, the professor wrote on it: “Odin, you are the quintessential college freshman, and your inquisitiveness has made this semester one of my most enjoyable.” And after class, I walked up to him and thanked him, and asked him what quintessential meant? He opened his mouth and was about to answer me, but then he smiled, wagged his finger at me and said, “you should learn to look things up.” He was one of my favorite professors (had a British accent, eyeglasses and reminded me of Giles from Buffy), but I’ve never forgotten that lesson. Some of you very obviously need to learn it too)

I’ve also made what are very obviously jokes online, only to have people accuse me of misrepresenting facts—and then I’m like, do I really need to explain the concept of what a joke is to you people??

Like, I could see if it was something racist, trans/homophobic, Islamophobic, antisemitic, etc, BUT I DON’T DO THAT

I think that some people need to be seen as, or have a desire to be known as a gatekeeper, and instead of using just a tiny bit of common sense, they try to make mountains out of molehills to elevate themselves in the eyes of their followers

The people who act this way are truly joyless human beings, and they probably suck all the fun out of parties and other events that people are forced to spend time with them

Maybe try socializing a bit more? Learn to read (online) cues. Don’t be so eager to accuse everyone of doing something wrong just so that YOU get to look like the good guy

And all of that’s without even addressing all of the straight up racist anons that I constantly receive

Like, do people even understand that we aren’t inside of each other’s heads? Sometimes we’re all dealing with life and other stuff. And just maybe people are busy trying to have just a tiny bit of fun, and then the mf fun police come along and try to ruin shit? Because I don’t use a word exactly the same way you do?? Or because of an obvious joke?? You guys who do this kind of shit really SUCK

I feel sorry for you

I almost can’t believe this is the piddling little shit that some people choose to be upset over

Please find some REAL things to be upset over

Try learning to use the feature that lets users (gasp) make a post of their very own! instead of fixating on one goddamn mutha fucking post that wasn’t worded to your liking

I am not here for the discourse with anyone with an internet connection and a keyboard

Please go touch some grass

[polluteme]

Leaving a Facebook comment is literally just putting a bullseye on your face these days, what you're saying can be as kind and helpful as you like but there'll always be someone who will misinterpret what you're saying and try to label you as an aggressive asshole, whether intentionally as a troll or just a genuine misunderstanding that they've got really worked up over, and ironically this person often is being highly aggressive with their comment. I hate that feeling of panic and confusion where you are faced with trying to defend what you meant, which can then just look like you *are* trying to argue, when all you're trying to do is iron out a miscommunication or apologise for not being clear enough. It sucks to feel trapped in a corner with someone trying to provoke and belittle you. It's really not worth ever participating in any online discussion any more in my opinion, even if it's something I'm knowledgeable and passionate about. Social media seems to be becoming more and more like a battleground. All you have to do is turn up and you're guaranteed to be made to regret it, anything you say will be held against you in the worst twisted way possible and you'll be publicly humiliated for ever bothering to say anything. I think it's like a sport to some people, they go looking for a heated debate and are sat there raring to go at anything they can get ahold of, they're not prepared to consider the person they're trying to disarm perhaps had zero ill intent to begin with and wants nothing more than a calm conversation free from conflict. I'm all for additional points of view being brought up of course but why must it always end in someone being crowned a winner, why can't it be an equal and respectful discussion where the only prize is granted to all involved for sharing knowledge and kindness between each other. I'm clearly far too sensitive for the internet, I wish there was like an internet 'lite' where people who aren't equipped to deal with arguments could go and just be chill together. Like parental controls for well-meaning mentally ill adults. I guess that's why I like Tumblr so much. My blog is a tiny safe haven where I can share some cute pictures and funny memes and talk openly about my thoughts and struggles and it's kind of taken for granted that we're all simply distant friends just living our lives and not wanting to impose on anyone elses peace. Nobody is trying to bring out the worst in anyone else, we're all here just doing our best to get through each day without incident and ideally a smile. Thank you to all my mutuals for helping keep my Tumblr experience free from negativity - I think you're all rad. I'm not a very chatty person in general but I've thankfully never posted anything here that's blown up in my face. It seems to be more understood here than on other sites that if you see a post that you disagree with or don't care about, you just scroll on. That's perfect for me, I am not looking for a new best friend and I'm certainly not looking for new enemies, so thank you for respecting me and quietly coming along for the ride. Ok I'm done ranting and normal programming will now resume. Peace out x

[evenmyzefronposter]

It's ranting time again! I came across a post (on Facebook hell) where someone had the (fairly common) headcanon that Harry is bi or pan based on the fact that he often describes other men being attractive. It wasn't my post but, personally, I can totally get behind this. I remember being in high school and finding people of various genders attractive. I was confused at the time but I figured out my queerness eventually. So that aspect of Harry was always very relatable to me, growing up and seeing hot guys and seeing hot girls and being just generally oblivious and confused all the time. Lol I certainly wouldn't hold it against someone if they didn't share the headcanon. It's not something that's stated explicitly in the text and it's definitely up for interpretation. I found it to be a helpful interpretation for me and so I've always clung to it, but I'm definitely not going to say that's the only possible conclusion to come to. It's just a headcanon that I've always liked.

Anyway, as usual, the comments pissed me off. So many people were utterly enraged (like all caps angry emojis big mad) that anyone would think about Harry like that. There was just a lot of ugliness overall, but I really wanted to respond to two particular comments and I really didn't want to bother doing it there.

Anyone who thinks this must be so insecure.

Honestly, yeah, I kind of am. I grew up being bullied. I grew up feeling Wrong in my body and not feeling like I fit in anywhere. And all of that stuck with me, so yes, I am insecure about certain things. Is there something wrong with a person who has some insecurities finding strength in a fictional character? Is there something wrong with that person relating to said fictional character? Maybe it seems strange to some, but there is legitimately a lot of comfort that can be gotten from relating to a character, and I don't see how it's productive to call people out on their insecurities for doing that. Does it make you feel better in some way to say "I disagree with you so you must be an incredibly insecure person"? Maybe it does. But it seems wrong to make yourself feel better at the expense of someone else. You can disagree with a headcanon without all of that.

These headcanons are harmful to the queer community.

Oof. There's a lot to unpack there honestly. I see your point, random person. Headcanons like that one are often based on generalizations and stereotypes. They could give someone the wrong ideas about queer people in general. I get it.

But headcanons like that can also be helpful to queer people. As I said before, it can be incredibly comforting to see yourself in your favorite characters, to be able to relate to them. And things are a lot different now, so maybe I need to take that into consideration. The person who made that comment has maybe not been where I've been and good for them, really. Now we have Alex Fierro and Nico di Angelo. We have Aristotle and Dante. We have Simon vs the Homo Sapiens Agenda and Girl Mans Up and a plethora of other queer representation in popular media. But we didn't have any of that back then. We only had snippets and not all of the snippets we got were positive by any stretch.

(TW for homophobia here. I didn't expect to cry while writing this, but I did).

I vividly remember the first gay character I saw in a book. It was 1996 and I was 12. I was reading IT, a book that was probably too advanced for me, but I was a Constant Reader™️ and had long since moved on from Ramona Quimby and Henry Huggins. In IT, Adrian Mellon, a gay man, was attacked by a gang of teenagers who threw him off a bridge before he was killed by Pennywise. It is not a major part of the storyline. It's almost a throw away bit. It wasn't even included in the original Tim Curry miniseries. But I read that part over and over again, horrified. I couldn't stop reading it, so much so that I still remember it after all this time. Because I saw myself in him. I saw myself in him and I was afraid, not of the monster, but of the fact that there was some part of me that could potentially make people respond to me like that. The monster killed Adrian Mellon, and I expected the monster to kill people, but it was Adrian's gayness that put him in the path of the monster. It was someone else's hatred of his gayness that put him there.

So, I don't know. Headcanons like Bi!Harry could be somewhat harmful. They can promote stereotypes. But I think it's better, over all, for queer kids to see themselves in Harry Potter – brave, friendly, loyal Harry – than it is for them to see themselves hated and murdered just because some part of who they are is different from how others think they should be. And even better than that is having more positive representation in books and movies and pop culture, so that people don't need headcanons to feel like they fit in, to feel like people who look like them and are like them have value in the fandoms they love.

I guess my real point is, it costs $0 to just let someone enjoy something, even if you disagree with their ideas or think that they're wrong. If it's something as inconsequential as an interpretation of a fictional character, just let them have that without shooting it down. You really have no way of knowing how important it might be to them.

[stitchwitchsapprentice]

Hi, I am listening to your podcast and you and your cohorts are great and very interesting to listen to, I found this tumblr and the post in defence of Kirel, who I feel sad for in the podcast as I've always liked him and I went to read the post and the link is no longer working do you have it posted elsewhere?

Hey, thanks for listening! I hope you like the podcast, even when we do go on long tangents harrassing each other about minor characters. Some of our blog posts got lost when we migrated to Acast, so how about I repost it here?

In Defense of Kirel

Those of you who have been following our podcast for a while may have noticed a rift forming between our hosts--with ND and I on one side and Britni and Goodwin on the other. This argument, of course, is about Kirel. In case you forgot, Kirel is a "great northern lad" serving as Frostpine's apprentice. A minor character in the series, he only appears about three or four times in Sandry's Book. Nevertheless, this has been enough for ND and I to fall in love with him, claim he is adorable, and wish we could see more of him, and for Goodwin and Britni to refer to him respectively as "a jerk" and "a little b****."

The proud and defensive part of me wants to comment that these are strong words about someone who appears on probably no more than ten pages. But I'm sure we'd all agree that Liesa fa Nadlen, who appears on no more than two pages, perfectly deserves her punishment when Sandry calls her a cat. So why this great rift? Why such strong disagreement about Kirel? Two obvious answers come to mind: the first that ND and I had read significantly more of the series than our co-hosts, and thus we actually know more about Kirel, so we know what's to like about him. The second theory is that reading the books as adults, Britni and Goodwin bring something with them to the story that ND and I didn't have when we first met Kirel. Considering the array of people in the Virtual Emelan Facebook group that agree that Kirel is lovable, I think this is the more likely of the two. Nevertheless, I would like to posit yet a third theory as to this difference of opinion. I think it is subtler in nature, and lies in the distinction between our favorite characters.

While its safe to say that all four of us find some amount of kinship with all four protagonists, if asked to pick a favorite, ND and I quickly cite Briar, while Britni and Goodwin favor Daja. Therefore, ND and I have both developed the feelings of playful rivalry towards Dedicate Crane (rejoicing when Sandry pulls rank on him at the gate to Discipline Cottage and ignoring the fact that Briar did just commit a crime) while Britni and Goodwin have developed a strong need to protect Daja (which, for anyone who has already read Daja's Book, will note is very Tris like behavior).

But one of the wonderful parts of digging into a text with the depth we do on the podcast, especially when, like myself, one is re-reading the text, is that we have the opportunity to examine and question our points of view. We can ask ourselves why we feel the way we do about the the characters. And isn't that the whole point of this podcast? To hold these books up like a mirror and see what else we can learn about ourselves and the people around us? To hone our skills in reading not just books, but the world around us in an attempt to improve upon it? So today I'm going to try to dig in to Kirel's motives and see if we can come to understand him better.

While Goodwin has not yet gone into detail about the specific reasons he thinks Kirel is a jerk, Britni has mentioned two specific scenes that have incited several minute long rants (which is a lot in podcast time). Let's take them in turn. The first is when Daja drops a piece of red hot iron and catches it with her bare hands, and Kirel freaks out. Britni thinks this is inappropriate behavior because Frostpine warned him that he would see weird things, and Kirel should have listened. In all fairness to Britni, she's pretty consistent about her beliefs. She was also pretty quick to criticize Tris for not listening to Niko when he told her not to control the weather, and in my opinion, Niko was much more specific about his warning. "Don't try to control the weather" logically seems like it would include stopping the tides whereas "you're going to see some weird things" does not necessitate a ten year old girl holding red-hot iron.

We got into this argument on the podcast as well. Britni implied it was unfair to say a man could do something that a girl couldn't, so let me clear: the point of this is not gender. The point is age and experience. From smithing to basic language, what an experience adult can do, a child usually cannot. Pierce could have made Frostpine female and made Briar the smith mage, and I would have still felt Kirel's reaction was justified. Yes, Kirel was told he would see "weird things." Let us also remember that he is working with the greatest smith mage in the world, and that smith magic isn't particularly common already (remember, Rosethorn and Lark mention that Frostpine has been looking for someone with his gift for years.) So it's reasonable for Kirel to assume, as he literally says in the narrative, that Frostpine's ability to hold hot metal was developed due to years of magical practice. Let's also remember that at this point in the narrative, no one has said that Daja is a mage. Literally, the only people who know about Daja's magic are Niko, Frostpine, Lark, and Rosethorn. Kirel has no reason to know. Daja herself doesn't know (meaning that if you're about to suggest that Frostpine might have told Kirel, we've got an even bigger issue because it's pretty icky to tell Kirel if he's not going to tell Daja.) So from Kirel's point of view, Daja is a very normal ten year old... until she catches hot metal with her bare hands. Do you know any ten year olds who can hold red hot iron with their bare hands? Exactly. I think Kirel's reaction is perfectly justified.

So let's move on to scene number two, which takes place shortly after Daja has found out that she has magic, and Frostpine tasks her with identifying metal without using her eyes. Kirel asks if he can join in. Judging from Britni's reaction to this scene, this absolutely infuriates her. Because it's not about Kirel, it's about Daja, who has to learn the basics, which Kirel already knows. But does he? See, the other part of having Kirel in only four scenes is that aside from he's essentially Norse and apprenticed to a blacksmith, we don't really know anything about him. So let me posit a headcanon for you:

I imagine that Kirel is the youngest of five or six boys. His family isn't nobility, like Sandry's, but they're fairly well off, and his parents are concerned with people carrying on their good name. Fortunately for Kirel, he's got older brothers to do that for him, so he can kind of pursue whatever career he wants, within reason. But he's also constantly competing for attention with his older siblings, who are better than him at everything. Sure, they're older and more experienced, but that doesn't change the fact that they can all spin circles around him singing "anything you can do, I can do better." Kirel wants something that will allow him to help people and separate him from his siblings. So he decides to go into smithing (remember, he's specifically working on iron, which means he's probably mostly making common items for every day people.) His parents aren't real big fans of it, but they don't stop him. He gets work as an apprentice around fifteen, only his teacher cares more about proving that Kirel is worthless than actually teaching him, which eventually leads to Kirel getting badly burned in an accident that could have easily been avoided.

Kirel's parents try to use this as an excuse for him to pursue a "reasonable" profession. But it turns out he likes smithing. He likes the feel of seeing things being made, and the meditative quality of working in the forge. One way or another, he meets Frostpine, who is impressed with Kirel's dedication and his quick ability to learn. Kirel almost sees a sparkle in his eyes, like for once, someone sees him and thinks he's special. Until Frostpine finds out about the incident where Kirel was burned. Frostpine doesn't criticize or blame Kirel for this problem, but Kirel knows there was a light in his teacher that got snuffed out so quick he didn't have time to figure out what it meant. But Kirel likes smithing. And he likes Frostpine. And his parents can accept that apprenticing to a smith at Winding Circle Temple is damn respectable, so he goes. Frostpine warns him he's going to see some weird stuff. Like a man holding red hot iron. This freaks him out, and reminds him of the time he got severely burned. But Frostpine is patient, and Kirel wills himself to get used to it. Because that's what this job takes. A few weeks later, this ten year old girl comes along and is interested in working with Frostpine. Kirel is happy to see her. It's nice to have someone else to learn with (because who's to say he knows the basics. We have no idea how long he's been here.) Then Kirel realizes that Daja has that spark--that thing that Frostpine hoped he had, but didn't. And once again, he knows he will be shunted to the side, as he's always been. Because Frostpine is a great smith mage. And he is none of those things.

But you're going to sit there and tell me you have never once, in your whole life, ever been jealous of anyone?

My point is that Britni and Goodwin are criticizing without context, and it's not particularly fair to condemn someone without trying to understand the behavior behind their actions. Then again, should we also consider my actions here? I mean, I made up an entire backstory to make two people feel guilty about the way they're treating a fictional character. And if we're going to closely examine Britni and Goodwin for defending Daja to the point of rage against Kirel, it's only fair that we also closely examine my intense defense of Kirel.

Why do I get so defensive about this? Why does it bother me that someone else feels such dislike toward this character. Especially when people can criticize Peter Pan, which is possibly the only thing I'm more obsessed with than the Circle of Magic, and I'll shrug and say, "yeah. That makes sense." Well, I guess that's the reason. To me, it just doesn't make sense. Or perhaps, more accurately it's the opposite. Perhaps Kirel does make sense to me. I relate to him. I mean, there's a reason I created a backstory in which he has very talented older siblings, abusive teachers, and a constant pressure to prove he is worthy even though he knows he's not particularly extraordinary, and he works every day with people who are. I feel that. I know what it is like to feel like you have to be super-human. I know what it's like to feel like you can't be more than second-best. And I know exactly what it feels like to sit right next to someone who you actually like and also feel jealous of them. So I can't condemn him for that. I understand it all too well.

But understanding behavior is not necessarily a reason to excuse it. After all, I can understand the behavior of the boys who attack Daja--they have been raised to fear traders and their gut instinct is to attack her before she attacks them. But this doesn't give them a right to harm her. Which brings us to the real question here: are Kirel's actions acceptable? Obviously, I can't be unbiased about this, but I will try look at his actions one more time as objectively as possible.

First, Kirel freaks out when he sees Daja hold red hot iron in her hands. I stand by what I said before. I think his actions here are acceptable because even in Emelan, there's really no reason for anyone to expect a normal ten year old to be able to hold red hot metal in their bare hands. To hold Kirel to different standard because he's worked in Frostpine's forge for an unspecified amount of time is unfair.

In regards to wanting to participate with Daja and Frostpine's activity, I think there is an argument to be said that he shouldn't have butted in. He should have known that this wasn't an activity for him to participate in. But I personally cannot bring myself to say he behaved poorly because this is, after all, a book about outcasts finding family and belonging, and what is Kirel in this moment if not that? If he had continued to do that, it would be inappropriate, but I don't see evidence of that. Instead, I see evidence of Kirel trying to swallow his pride (and his jealousy) and continue to show kindness to Daja and her friends (he does, after all, help Tris when she can't walk.) I think this is not only appropriate behavior, but shows a strength of character that many people don't have. So here's to Kirel--may we all seek to have such a kind-hearted nature as you. (At least until Britni refutes this essay next week.)



Addendum to the original post: In recent episodes, Britni has mentioned that after reading the Circle Opens quartet, she's not all that bothered by Kirel anymore. After all, we now know what real villains look like--Lady Zendaia, the Dihanurs, Ben, and the Ghost. It seems that in those early books, where there aren't a lot of "bad guys," Kirel is one of the first people you can latch on to as antagonistic, especially if love Daja as Britni and Goodwin do.