#i cant think of better tags rip
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anyway so as you can tell I remembered i had ao3. hello trafficblr.
Spring, Summer, and Fall (486 words) by Mothzarellaman Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 3rd Life | Last Life SMP Series Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Charles | Grian & Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Characters: Charles | Grian, Ryan | GoodTimesWithScar Additional Tags: kinda scarian? ig? if you squint? not meant to be tho, Free Verse, Poetry, its a vauge and old poem based off of the 3rd life season, its been forever since ive watched it, and unfortunately i only watched the grian pov, but shh, others are mentioned albeit vaugely so i didnt tag Summary: A poem based off of 3rd life, with seasons standing in for life count. -- (You lost the warmth of the sun. Your leaves are bleeding red.)
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more keykid things!!!!!!!!!!!! The design's based on my original player character avatar i used when i was active on khux with a few swaps (mainly cause i had no idea there was a moogle headband lol)
#she's around 15 during khux#when i first made her she was a deliverygirl for the moogle shop hence the sack on her back haha#man i cant believe shes almost 8 years old now that's really weird to think about#also im an oldhead on khux i always thought the colosseum ranking outfits were so good but they stopped doing that on the first year i thin#so a lot of people missed out on so many good outfits and it made me sad#but they let you use any avatar part now in the offline ver so actually its fine lol#i had an alternate outfit i used that was just the ursus regalia armor bc i rly liked the lux particles#but thats not really a flex bc ursus was the lowest ranking union for the entirety of the game's lifecycle rip#i was in vulpes for the first few years but i switched over to ursus to get better ranking prizes bc i could be in a top 5 ranking union lo#anyways#im rambling in my tags oops#talking#ig#kingdom hearts#khux#keykid#oc
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Another mini update because I think I deserve to talk about this:
I am changing game plans! I'm not sure if I've mentioned this but... The shell stitch is such a yarn eater. I have four rows of shells, but you actually don't see that there are about eight rows in this because there are intermittently small ones to set up the space for all the shells. These four rows have basically eaten up ninety percent of my skein of 210 yards (192 meters). My question is: should I make one more shell stitch row before transitioning into double crochet, or is four sufficient?
My new plan now is something like this: shell stitch four rows, double crochet until I reach the center of the tallit. The middle will be a few more rows of shells, then back to double crochet until I make it to the other side. I genuinely can't think of a worse idea that thirty-three inches (eighty-four centimeters) of solid white in shell stitch.
(Do note that my camera has completely altered the colors. It does this automatically and I hate it so much. These colors are so much richer and more interesting than how this camera decided to mess with it)
#jumblr#jew by choice#jewish conversion#tallit#personal thoughts tag#shalom crafts#long post#i am unironically trying*not* to be upset about how my phone's camera ALWAYS edits the colors of photos in such an ugly way#it's so... washed out and sad. a photo is supposed to look BETTER than how real life does#i think what upsets me about this is that this is my art that i have spent months on and the colors are super important to me#ANYWAY. i've been stagnant with this project partially because i didn't want to do shell stitch for thirty-three inches straight#while crochet is faster than knit at almost everything... it's still slow-going#i know it can sound pretentious to be like 'this is ~MY ART~'#but honestly i think you need to learn to develop a bit of an ego when you're an artist to counteract the imposter syndrome and stagnation#because i wouldn't have done the shell stitch if i didn't have the ego to be like 'if i cant do it the way i want it can just be ripped out#and me saying i think i deserve to talk about this is because i really like this craft and i've been working kind of sort of hard on it!!!#i think other crocheters know the sheer headache it is to work something this size (51 inches by 71 inches will be the final size)
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I’m very sorry about your bread 😔😔😔😔
thank you 😭😭 literally exactly what transpired here like 20 minutes ago :(( rip all the bread i got today, glad apollo had a fun 2nd dinner
#this is soso cute thank you skye <33#apollo is so precious#and i love that even off duty i'm just always prof cat u never know when u need to be in mad scientist mode so better keep the lab coat on#at all times#(me being on tumblr activates mad cat scientist mode anyways hehe gotta enlighten everyone abt all the important species names!!!!)#but rip all the delicious bread i never got to taste#at least apollo did :(#skye tag#skye's art#hungry greek god#cant even rly be mad at him i was just frantically googling if anything dangerous for cats couldve been in the bread but i think (hope) not#but yeah he's too cute so i cant be mad at him
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sometimes you go to the tip and return with a guitar and bass
sometimes you get to find out that the world is a wonderful place
#the guitar fully works but im probably gonna sand off its paint so it can look better#and the bass has its guts ripped out but the most expensive part (the frame) is fully intact so i just gotta get some electronics#plygnt#yeah i guess im using that as my original post tag. cant think of anything better
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Great i learn that one of my favorit characters are alive and and learn that my favorit from a diffrent anime died on the SAME DAY
I like acually had to sit and proces it for a moment, even though i knew that there was a huge chance of it happening
SPOILERS FOR JJK:
Rip Gojo Satoru, fly high<3
#dazai osamu#gojo satoru#rip#maybe he cant see Getou again in the after life#and they can get married there#its hopefull thinking#but thats okay#because who is in touch with reality anyway#fly high king#but i am screaming about dazai#now asagiri just gotta make soukoku kiss happen#and then i can die in peace#imma read fan fiction to feel better about jjk#its my therapy#why am i still tagging#oh well#imma hope Gojo pulls a Dazai#i knew it was gonna happen#gege why#i think im finally done tagging#thank fuck#thanks for coming to my ted talk#hope you enjoyed my rambling#bye ig
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getting high and experiencing emotions make me realize how i can and have altered my own experience in life. it makes me realize i have an arsenal of coping mechanisms for when i feel bad and that i can effectively execute them.
it makes me realize how i’m doing so much better than i was, that i can sense when i feel bad and i can correct my course, that even when i’m experiencing anxiety from smoking weed, i can still stabilize and calm myself.
i feel myself getting amped up, and anxious about the way my body is feeling (it gives me some kind of hypersensitivity to my body like breathing) and accurately help myself calm down. i’ve only experienced one panic attack while high and i have been experiencing a bit of anxiety since then (only when i’m not with friends who keep me busy), but each time now i’m able to calm myself down.
i don’t really smoke often anymore, but i’ve been able to realize my own emotions, listen to my body and accordingly respond based on my needs since beginning to smoke about 2 years ago.
i feel i don’t need to anymore. but this helped because at least i now know where my progress has (partially) come from.
#weed tw#aniposting#<- personal diary/blog tag? sure why not :3#it’s genuinely so interesting. i used to have such a bad problem with anxiety#and i guess even reading my own emotions (that tracks lol)#but since smoking weed (to a bit of an addiction) while playing disco elysium#i definitely was able to tone down my anxiety#(also on the addiction note - it was more how i was bored over winter break & the summer but i’m past that now and won’t be back there#if you cant tell i’m already kind of past smoking. i got what i needed and i’m ready to move on#woohoo)#also i think disco elsyium helped me experience emotions a lot better#i had an intense experience where i pulled back from the game and my brain was literally running like a rip-off of harry du bois#and i feel like i fucking unlocked a piece of my mind lmaooo#all of this took me absurdly long to write because i am in fact high right now#don’t give me tumblr while high
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Your Ex-boyfriend Katsuki Bakugo
The ex boyfriend who acted like he couldn’t care less when you told him you were leaving.
The ex boyfriend Katsuki, who told anyone that asked that about you, to shut the hell up.
Ex boyfriend Dynamite who was on the front page 2 weeks later because a reporter wouldn’t stop asking him about you.
Ex boyfriend that still has to see you often because you have the same group of friends.
The same ex boyfriend that can’t keep his eyes off of you when you’re around. And he tries, he really really tries but it’s instinct to always know where you are and if you’re safe.
Ex boyfriend Dynamite that uses chunks of his patrol time to follow you when you’re out and about. You never even notice him, but he’s there.
Ex boyfriend Katsuki who gets drunk one night and calls you sounding like he’s in tears. Spilling his guts to about how he’s so so sorry, and you’re still all he thinks about. He knows you always deserved better than him and even though it’s ripping his heart out, all he wants is for you to be happy.
Katsuki who can’t meet your eyes the next time he sees you because he remembers every word he said to you and he knows it doesn’t make a difference.
Ex boyfriend whose heart nearly stops beating the first time Mina mentions you have a date because he can’t believe it. You’re moving on.
You’re at a party when he finds you outside alone and tells you that if any of the guys you’re dating ever do anything to hurt, he will hunt them down and end them. Fuck his hero status.
Ex boyfriend who ends up chatting with you for a good long while time and then you laugh and he hasn’t heard that laugh in so long. It melts the ice he’s been feeling in his chest since you left.
Ex boyfriend Katsuki that kisses you in the midst of you laughing.
The man you melt against because it’s second nature. He keeps kissing you as long as you’ll let him because he knows, this is probably the last one he’ll get.
Ex boyfriend who cuts you off before you call that kiss a mistake and says he won’t do it again. He just wanted to say goodbye.
But then you kiss him again. When you pull away you tell your ex boyfriend that maybe you want to try again but you both have a lot of work to do. That it can’t go back to being the way it was or you’d leave and there wouldn’t be anymore chances after that.
“Ex” boyfriend Katsuki who swears on his life that it won’t be the same. That he’ll be whatever he needs because he doesn’t want to live this life without you.
Fiancé Katsuki Bakugo who still thinks of those 4 months without you as the worst 4 months of his life.
Fiancé that 100% keeps his promise and proposed to you 2 years later to the day and was honestly shocked that you said yes because in he is still convinced you could still do better than him. But if you were willing to settle, he’d give everything he had to try and be enough.
*i tried with this but honestly, I ain’t leaving that man.😭
Katsuki Masterlist
Let me know if you want to be added the the tag list💕
Tags: @dreamcastgirl99 @xxvendettaxx @justbepeace @moonpieshawdy @theloveofnagiseishiroslife @mintsbubbletea @darkstarlight82 @anon-mouse223 @b134ch-m4h-ey3z @i-literally-cant-with-this @flowerbedbaby @kit-katsukii @blaize-hewwo @sweetblueworm @tippy-toes @superlegend216
#imagine#bakugou x reader#mha fanfiction#bakugou katsuki#bakugou katsuki x reader#bakugou drabble#drabble#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugo headcanons#fluff#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugou x reader#bnha katsuki#bakugo katuski#bakugo katsuki#katsuki bakugou#katsuki#bnha bakugou#bakugo
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when hell freezes over.
⊹ ࣪ in which touya todoroki finds himself.
a.n sorry this took so long i rewrote it like ten times because it wasnt going where i wanted to and it still lowkey isnt but i think this is the best ill do and im too excited to get to the later chapters so i might just rewrite them all to be better when im done ! i dont know im just really passionate abt this fic i literally got a writing notebook just for it...
tag list ; @itgetzweird08 !
⤷ masterlist ; requests open ; two – 2006 ; four – 2010 ; 4.4k words
touya todoroki was eight when his hair began to turn white.
his father had given up on him. said there was no point in training him. not when his quirk began eating away at his body everytime he used it.
every night, you would find more, and more burns. some more severe than the others, the skin peeling and rotting in ways you didn't know was possible. and every night, you’d place your cold, cold hands on him, and heal him as best as you could.
sometimes, you wanted to stop. your quirk made you feel like you had been plunged in an ice cold bath, hands holding you down as you struggled to breath. you could feel the ice creeping into your veins, threatening to freeze you from the inside out. but you kept on pushing. for touya. for the boy who couldn't give up, even if he wanted to.
“enji went to the doctor’s today.” touya spoke, leaning against the trunk of the big oak tree. “said i cant use my quirk anymore. ‘parently i have my mom’s body or… whatever.”
you could hear the anguish in his voice. his dream, no. his father’s dream was now a lost cause. all the hours, all the blood, the sweat, the tears, down the drain in an instant. all because he lost the genetics lottery.
“what… what now?”
touya pushed away from the tree to look directly at you as he waited for his answer. the sun was beginning to set, casting an orange glow on both of you. you two never met in the daytime. afraid your parents would find out, that endeavour would find out. you were both on edge, and today’s news didn’t help at all.
“i dont know, toy’.”
"you don’t know?” touya responded in disbelief. he was angry at the situation, and angry at himself. “of course you don’t know. you don’t know anything. do you even care?”
touya’s voice was harsh, cold. he didn’t mean to hurt you, he really didn’t.
but when you’re an eight year old child who just had your dreams snapped away from you days after your birthday, it was a normal reaction. or as normal as one can be in a situation like this, anyway.
he began pacing, hands tugging at his hair with so much force you were afraid he would rip it from his scalp. touya’s hair had begun turning white in some places, and you didn't know whether it was from his mother, or from stress. you don't know which one you would have preferred.
you didn't know what to do. your parents never trained you on how to use your quirk at all. sometimes, selfishly, you wished you had a father like endeavour. a figure in your life that would help you hone your quirk the way enji did to touya. you could take it, the harsh words, and the unforgiving regime, if only it meant you could relieve the pain touya seemed to feel in every waking moment.
“i’m—” he mumbled, stopping to look at you.
touya looked like a mess. his skin was littered with burns and scars you couldn't heal all the way, his eyes bloodshot from tiredness and stress, hair messy and greasy. his voice was soft, and if you really listened, you could hear him trembling.
“i didn’t mean that. i’m sorry.”
touya slowly walked over to your spot and sat down wordlessly. his shoulders slumped, and he brought his knees to his chest. he didn’t say anything for a long time. the sound of cicadas surrounded the two of you, and the last of the sunlight faded away. the sky was dark, and a few stars had already begun to appear. the moon was half way dark, peeking out from behind the clouds in the night sky.
as touya rested, you slowly inched closer to him until your shoulder touched his. he didn’t flinch away, and instead slowly rested his head on your shoulder.
after a few moments, he spoke softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
“what am i going to do?”
touya was a just a kid, but sometimes you forgot that. you forgot that he was just a child, not some grown adult that could handle the pressure of the world on their shoulders like endeavour had made him out to be.
“have fun.”
touya’s head moved from your shoulder to look at you.
”have fun?” he responded in disbelief. “i can’t really have fun when my quirk— when my whole life is falling apart, can i now?”
"your whole life doesn't have to revolve around your quirk, touya."
“how is it not supposed to revolve around my quirk?”
touya sat up straighter, putting distance between the two of you. he looked at you with an incredulous look, like you had just suggested he run away with his tail between his legs.
“all i’ve ever done is train, train, and train. train and work my butt off for a quirk i never even really wanted. and now it’s all going down the drain like i’m nothing more than trash.”
touya sat back against the tree again, leaning his head back and looking up at the stars, emerging from their cocoon once more.
”this is all i’ve ever had. without my quirk, i’m nothing.”
he was bitter and resentful. at his father, for lighting this fire under him. at his mother, for giving birth to him. at himself, for not being enough.
to touya, the idea of suddenly stopping everything he knew seemed impossible. being the number one hero was the only thing on his mind since the day he was born. it was engraved into his brain, and all he knew to do.
so now that he was stripped of that, where did that leave him? what was he supposed to do? who was he, if not the less than perfect successor for his father?
“what am i gonna to do now, huh? play outside? play with others? run around like a freakin’ kid?”
“yeah, actually.. you should play with me.”
“play with you?” touya responded sceptically, raising an eyebrow at you. “what are we supposed to do? have a tea party?
the idea of playing, especially in his current state of mind, seemed like a foreign concept. you two played sometimes, yes, but touya sometimes felt like he was going through the motions, if anything. he never really found anything in playing house with you, or pretending he was a villain and you, a monster. at least thats what he told himself, anyway. he’d rather keel over and die than admit he enjoyed spending time with you.
“if you wanna.”
touya looked dumbfounded. like you had just sprouted a second head. he knew you could be a little slow sometimes, but this was too much.
“seriously? we’re like… eight. we’re too old for that. we’re basically teenagers. ‘n’ you want to spend your time playing tea party? ” he said, making a face. “when we could be doing something actually fun, like skipping rocks or something? don't you have anything else in that head of yours?”
“...we could go to the park?”
“the park?” touya repeated, staring at you, a sarcastic lilt to his voice. “why do you wanna go to the park? so we can sit and spin around on the roundabout till we fall off?”
“i mean.. no one's gonna be there. its late, so we’ll have it all to ourselves, touya.”
“that’s…” he began before stopping. it actually sounded kind of cool. the idea of sneaking into an empty park at night with you. the idea of getting caught… excited him.
he let out a grumble, looking away. “fine. let’s go to the park.” he relented.
touya slowly got up from the ground and dusted off his pants before sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
“this better not be stupid,” he muttered as the two of you began making your way through the park.
it was late, meaning there was basically no one out except the occasional night-shift worker or the local drunkard. the only sounds to accompany you were the cars driving past, or the songs of the crickets. as the two of you walked, touya glanced over at you.
he noticed the way you walked confidently, almost with purpose. he would often catch himself stumbling as he walked, still not used to his gangly limbs. you, on the other hand, seemed to move so flawlessly. he was premature, and as a result, was shorter than fuyumi, and probably natsuo when he becomes of age. he was taller than you, sure, but that wasn't a feat by any means considering your height.
he kept his gaze on you for a few more seconds before looking away.
“hey,” he spoke suddenly, breaking the silence. “how come ya’ never play with other kids?”
it was a question that was bothering him for a while now. you never seemed to want to go hang around other kids, opting to stick by his side. touya could never really figure out why. maybe he didn't want to. he couldn't tell.
“why would i, touya,” you grinned, stretching out his name and slinging an arm around his shoulder, relishing in the way he recoiled. “when i have you?
a scoff.
“don’t say that,” he said in a deadpanned voice, but there was a light flush beginning to spread across his face.
he wasn't used to receiving praise from anyone, but when it came from you… it made him uncharacteristically embarrassed. touya didn't particularly know his emotions very well, especially not one that made him so flustered he wanted to throw up. not one that only ever seemed to show its face whenever he was around you.
“seriously, though. i’ve never seen you talk to anyone else like you do with me. how come?”
touya continued walking, casting an expectant glance in your direction. you didn't know what to say.
he had no idea why he wanted to know so badly. why the idea of you talking to other kids bothered him so much. and he knew it was stupid. you were allowed to make other friends. hell, he was the one not letting you make friends with other people. but the thought of you talking to anyone else other than him sent a sharp pang to his chest.
he shook the thought away, forcing the feeling of possessiveness down.
after a few moments of silence, he spoke again, keeping his gaze straight ahead.
“...what makes me so special, anyway?”
“shut up, touya.”
touya let out a surprised huff of air at your response.
he stopped walking and spun around to face you so suddenly, that you nearly ran into him. there was a scowl on his face, and his eyes were narrowed.
“don’t tell me what to do,” he replied in a low tone, trying to sound intimidating the way his father seemed to be so effortlessly.
he wasn’t quite sure why. maybe it was the thought of you giving your attention to someone other him, or maybe he just wanted some sort of response from you.
he leaned closer, using his barely-there advantage of height to loom over you. he watched your face, trying to figure out what was going through that dumb head of yours.
touya’s face inches closer to yours, close enough that you could feel his warm breath fan across your face. his eyes were locked onto yours, watching intently as you began to shift uncomfortably.
your hands began to feel a lot colder than usual as your fingertips began to turn white. the warmth in your veins was quickly replaced with a chill that you were all too familiar with.
your heart was beating quick and fast. you hadn’t realised how hard it had been beating until you felt your heart thump against your chest. you were sure touya could hear it, with how close he was.
you could feel the heat rising to your cheeks as he leaned in even closer, his eyes still locked in onto yours. there was a determined look in his eyes, like he was trying to figure you out.
“whatever. i wanna go on the seesaw.”
touya’s expression soured at your nonchalant reaction. instead of the nervous stammering and stuttering he was hoping for, you had calmly responded, not giving him the slightest show that he had any sort of effect over you.
he watched as you looked away, avoiding his gaze. there was a faint redness to your cheeks, and a part of him felt satisfied at the sight of it. but there was also an undercurrent of annoyance at the idea of being dismissed like that.
he let out a scoff and backed away, putting some distance between the two of you.
“the seesaw?” touya repeated, raising an eyebrow. “what are ya, five years old?”
he wasn’t quite sure what he had been expecting you to propose, but it certainly wasn’t that. the thought of standing on a children’s toy, awkwardly swinging up and down and up again, was laughable.
you, on the other hand, seemed completely serious as you nodded. “yeah!”
he stared at you for a moment, contemplating whether or not you were messing with him. but your expression was as deadpan as always, giving no hint that you were anything but sincere.
he let out a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes as a look of resignation crossed his face. “fine. let’s go on the damn seesaw.”
you grinned, bounding over to it with way too much energy someone should have in the dead of night. touya rolled his eyes again at your excitement. he was not particularly enthusiastic about going on a child’s toy, but he begrudgingly followed you to the playground. you practically dragged him over to the brightly painted seesaw, eagerly taking a seat on one side.
he reluctantly took a seat on the opposite one, the metal frame of the seesaw creaking under his weight. he glanced over at you, a frown on his face. "this is stupid."
you, on the other hand, were having the time of your life. you bounced up and down on the other end of the seesaw, giggling as the metal frame made squeaking sounds. touya sat on the other side, arms crossed, but you could tell by the way his shoulders were squared that he was trying not to fall off without giving in and actually play.
"come on," you said, gesturing for touya to bounce as well. "it's more fun when both of us are doing it."
"having fun yet?" you called out, still bouncing up and down like a hyperactive child. the metal frame between the two of you was starting to groan in protest.
touya let out a huff. "this is dumb," he repeated. "i'd rather be doing literally anything else right now."
he continued to bounce, but his movements were more restrained than yours. the whole thing seemed so childish, especially with you gleefully giggling away on the other end.
“fine! lets go on the swings then.” you frowned, peeling yourself off the seesaw sadly and trudging over to the swingset.
touya let out a scoff, his hold on you reluctantly loosening “of course its the swings,” he said with a roll of his eyes, shifting his hands to rest on your hips. “you always wanna go on those stupid things.”
“yeah i do. they're the coolest!”
you quickly regained your composure, however, and looked back at touya with a raised eyebrow. "slides are lame. swings are where it's at. you can go up and down!"
he let out a scoff again, shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "slides are better. they're faster. there's more adrenaline. now c’mon,” he murmured, walking side by side with you, absentmindedly matching the way you walked. left, right. left, right.
touya watched you closely as you sat down, his hands resting gingerly on your shoulders until you were safely seated on the swing. he stood there for a moment, his heart skipping a beat as your hair blew softly in the wind, framing your face with a few strands of hair.
he quickly brushed the feeling aside, shaking his head as he walked around to stand behind you.
“im gonna push you now, alright?”
“‘mkay!”
touya positioned himself behind you, his hands wrapped around the chains of the swing. his heart felt like it was trying to beat out of his chest. he took a deep breath, praying silently that you didn’t notice how nervous he actually was.
“okay, on the count of three…”
he began to count down, softly at first but gaining momentum as he reached the end. on three, he pushed you gently, propelling the swing forwards.
as you began to swing, touya let out a long exhale, his breath leaving him in a shaky whisper. he stood behind you, watching as you soared through the air, a smile on your face bigger than the moon.
he couldn’t help but notice how… carefree you looked. how your hair would sometimes brush against his knuckles as he pulled you backwards. how you would throw your head back in laughter every time you reached the peak of the swing. touya pushed you again, watching as you ascended even higher this time.
the sight of you swinging back and forth, your hair blowing in the gentle breeze, made his heart flutter. touya couldn’t tear his gaze away from you, his eyes fixated on your figure as you gained momentum.
he swallowed hard, trying to steady his breathing. he didn’t know why he felt so flustered, he had been pushing you on the swings for years.
this time felt different though. maybe it was the way the moonlight shone on your skin, or the way your shoulders shook with quiet giggles.
“push me touya! higher!”
touya let out a scoff of mock annoyance, though he knew he couldn’t deny you.
“you’re such a pain in the ass,” he muttered under his breath, pushing the swing with more force.
watching you go higher and higher, your laughter filling the air, touya couldn’t help but smile to himself. he wanted to know what it was like to be up there, to see the moon, and the stars. to feel free, even for just a moment.
and touya never understood why in movies the main characters always seemed to be ‘stuck in place’. stood there, looking like an idiot as something that could have easily been prevented from happening in front of them. he was old enough to understand that it was for the plot, but he couldn't help but feel frustrated when a character wanders back into the house with a killer in it for the nth time.
but now, he was frozen, his whole body seizing as the you swung up, and up, fingers slipping from the chains and your body falling, encapsulated by nothing but the light of the moon.
time seemed to slow down at that moment. he could hear the thumping of his own heart in his ears, like a primal drum, beating in time with the seconds ticking by.
he tried to call out to you, to warn you about the impending fall, but no sound came out of his agape mouth. he could only watch, feet glued to the ground, as you came back down towards the ground at an increasingly high speed.
touya’s heart skipped a beat, his blood turning to ice as he saw you slip from the swing. he wasn’t sure what overtook him in that moment, but he felt his body moving on its own.
within seconds, he found himself darting forward, arms outstretched as he tried to catch you midair. panic surged through him like electricity, his thoughts racing a mile a minute.
touya had no time to think, no time to weigh the risks or the consequences of what he was about to do. he acted, pure instinct taking over his body.
he moved with an almost superhuman speed, his long legs covering the distance between you and him in the blink of an eye. touya felt his adrenaline spike as he stretched his arms out towards you, his eyes locked onto your falling form.
he knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that this was a terrible idea. that he was putting himself in danger too. but in that moment, all he cared about was saving you.
time seemed to stretch on into infinity as he caught you, his arms encircling around your waist. he held you tight against his chest, the force of the impact causing him to stumble backwards.
he fell onto the ground, landing on his back with a thud. the air left his lungs in a sharp exhale, his body tense as he tried to process what had just happened.
for a moment, touya laid there, his chest heaving as he struggled to catch his breath. his arms were still wrapped around you, holding you impossibly close against him.
“....touya?” your voice was small, eyes blown wide and terrified of every little thing that went bump in the night. you were always so strong, never wavering or faltering whenever you were around him. but here, right now, there was nothing you needed more than him.
"i got you," he breathed out, his voice shaky and ragged.
he held you closer, his hold on you tightening almost possessively. touya didn't know why his heart was pounding so hard, why his whole body felt like it was on fire.
he inhaled deeply, savoring the faint scent of your hair. it was a subtle, sweet fragrance that reminded him of wildflowers and sunshine.
"you're okay. i've got you," he repeated, more for his own reassurance than yours.
he sat up slowly, the movement causing him to wince slightly. his back was definitely going to hurt later, but he didn't care about that right now. all he cared about was making sure you were alright.
touya's eyes trailed over your form, searching for any signs of injury. he lifted a hand to gently cup your chin, tilting your face upwards so he could look at you properly.
he didnt know a single thing about taking care of others. didnt know how to put on a bandage, didnt know what medicine was what. didnt know how to comfort anyone, if at all. all he knew was what he saw his mother do, time, and time again.
his gaze softened as he looked into your eyes, taking in the sight of your tear-stained face. the sight tugged at his heartstrings, but he tried his best to keep his emotions in check.
he held your chin a little tighter, his thumb gently rubbing over your skin in a comforting motions.
"you're crying.”
“shut up. no– no ‘m not.”
touya couldn't help but roll his eyes at your reaction. even in moments like these, you were as stubborn as ever.
he let out a huff of amusement, shaking his head slightly as he used his thumb to wipe away the tears from your eyes.
"yeah, yeah, whatever you say," he said in a sarcastic tone. "because your tears are definitely just sweat, right?"
you nodded, shutting your eyes tight as you willed the world to stop spinning. you didn't know how people stomached going skydiving or riding rollercoasters, and you didn't think you ever would.
touya chuckled, his hand moving from your chin to pat your head fondly.
"you're an idiot, you know that?" he teased, his voice softening at the sight of your tear-stained face.
he hated seeing you cry. more than he knew he should.
the butterflies in his stomach stirred as he continued to hold you close, his hand still tangled in your hair. he tried to shake the feeling off, reminding himself that he was just being a good friend. that's all.
but as he sat there, with you in his arms and your tears staining his shirt, he couldn't ignore the fluttering in his chest.
he sat there for a moment, his fingers gently threading through your hair as he tried to catch his breath. he knew he should make sure you were actually okay, that your little stunt didn't actually get you hurt.
but right now, all he could focus on was you. the way your eyelashes fluttered against your skin as you blinked back tears, the way your lower lip trembled ever so slightly.
it was driving him crazy.
“can… can we go home?”
touya's heart ached at the sound of your soft, shaky voice. the way you looked so small and fragile in his arms right now made his chest tighten with an unfamiliar feeling. it was nauseating. you were always so strong around him, but seeing you like this was like flipping a switch in his brain.
he gently patted your head once more, his fingers lingering on your hair for a moment, before nodding.
"yeah," he responded, his voice quiet and hoarse. "yeah, we can go home."
he’d have to sneak you through the window again. as much as he wanted your parents to check you out now, it’d be too much of a risk.
touya's mind raced with thoughts as he helped you up onto your feet, his grip never loosening from your waist.
he knew the drill by now. he would have to sneak you back into your room through your bedroom window, without getting caught by your parents. he took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart. he could do this. he'd done it several times before.
touya always walked you home after the first night. it was the least he could do, anyways. his father was cruel, but not cruel enough to not raise a gentleman.
and touya didn't mind walking you back home. in fact, there was a secret part of him that actually relished in the time alone with you. the comfortable silence, the gentle brush of your hand against his, the way the dim street lights illuminated your face.
he could pretend, even if just for a moment, that it was just the two of you in the world. no parents, no rules, no responsibilities.
it was a foolish dream, but he clung to it like a lifeline, nonetheless.
#⊹ ࣪ ˖ greywrites#⊹ ࣪ ˖ when hell freezes over#dabi#dabi x reader#touya todoroki#touya todoroki x reader#bnha#bnha x reader#boku no hero academia#mha#mha x reader#my hero academia#todoroki x reader#todoroki
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(Not At All) Secretly Into You
Pedro Pascal x Reader
Summary: Pedro thinks the best way to be slick about his crush on you is to be 100% unabashed about it. Ha ha! No one will expect that he has feelings for you if he's outright about it!
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: gender neutral reader, Actor/Actress!reader, the use of y/n T_T, dummy!pedro, fluff, crackfic, typos, etc.
A/N: i cant help myself. i just head empty only pedro look at this gif people. take a good long look at him. what is it about him that has us in such a chokehold? i think this is the tipping point of humanity. what is it about him that has us like this? 😩 HES SO STUPID AND DUMMY HELLO?! he needs to be stopped. he needs to be jailed. or better yet SOMEONE MARRY HIM SO THAT WE INHERETLY GO OH SHIT ITS OVER SOMEONE WON T_T thank you for reading my little rant Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @sloanexx @amis-love-bugs @top1bbgloak
Let me set the scene for you It's a cold, rainy day. There's a person all alone in their bedroom. They're bored AF. They look up, 'movies to watch 2023', and finds a film they're interested in. It's staring Pedro Pascal & [Y/N]. It's good. So good. Too good. It becomes their personality. They begin to hyperfixate. They look for other related content. Behind the scenes. Interviews. Interviews. They fall in love with the dynamic of the main characters IRL. They hyperfixate on them. They're not the only one in this boat. They search for other content. They stumble across a fan edits. Fan edits. Their mouth waters at it. They watch it.
Here's how one of them starts:
Hello.
After watching the movie of Pedro Pascal and [Y/N] and going absolutely feral (GO WATCH IT WIMPS) I have taken it upon myself to do a thorough investigation of their relationship (because I am CERTAIN they smashed and BY THE POWER OF ANIME I'm going to make it certain YOU think it's certainly so) so-
Without Further Ado, I present:
They Smashed, And Here's The Evidence.
You and Pedro are doing an interview answering questions while eating snacks from your respective hometowns. This is a snippet from that interview.
Cut scene, the question, which is read by a staff member off camera, is 'what is your favorite thing about the other?'
"You know, what my favorite thing about you is?" Pedro asks, albeit somehow rhetorically, as he chews on something. He was looking at you when he asked this. He watches with crossed arms as you struggle to open the snack packet.
His eyes dart to the small, plastic wrapped cookies as you sigh in defeat and hand it to him. He grins to himself, dramatically rolling his neck before he takes it from you and begins to open make his attempt to open it. Because of your lack of response, he asks as he rips at the package, "do you want to know what my favorite thing about you is?"
"Not really, no," you say, crossing your arms, knitting your brows, shaking your head.
Pedro makes a face looking out to no one in particular. He turns to you, just as he opens the wrapper, "meanie."
You beam, claiming the treat he hands it to you, "thank you."
He watches as you carefully get a cookie for yourself. Pedro looks at the camera, "as of this moment, I rescind any positive feelings I may have ever felt for-GRFF-"
You shove a cookie in his mouth as you excitedly moan and speak half-muffled with a full mouth, "it's still good!"
Pedro chews on the cookie.
"I used to love these when I was like," you raise your hands, "this big."
It takes a few moments for you to merit a response.
"You're literally still that big, what do you mean?" Pedro says.
You give him a second's glance as you clear your mouth, "talk to me like that after you retire your heels to join the 6 feet and above club."
Pedro shakes his head and rolls his eyes, "You're not even getting anywhere near the entr-"
You shove another cookie in his mouth, effectively cutting him off.
"My favorite thing about Pedro is when his mouth is shut."
Pedro's chews viscously, rolling his eyes all over again. He looks into the camera with a wholly exaggerated look. He then scoffs loudly, throwing his head back, crossing his arms all over again, mouth half-full, "you better pray you can keep your mouth shut later tonight."
Cut the cameras.
Did yall hear that?
WELL LET ME MAKE SURE YOU DID
"You better pray you can keep your mouth shut later tonight."
Later Tonight
Later Tonight.
WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING LATER TONIGHT AND CAN I PLEASE PARTICIPATE?
Now, ok, if you're some weird puritan that got mixed up in this mumbojumbo for lolz and you're thinking, 'oh maybe they're going to play Uno. Uno is pretty intense.'
you're wrong
get the fuck outta here /:
Now.
I raise you some out of context clips that give off domestic energy.
Clip #1: In the subway
Quite literally, it's a video post on your Instagram of you and Pedro riding a slightly packed metro in New York. You're holding your phone closely to you. It's showing both yours and Pedro's double chin. The only reason why you're recording is because he's singing a children's song from Barney, 'And The Green Grass Grows All Around' under his breath. You ardently hold back your laughter as he begins to do the gestures.
>>>COMMENT SCREENSHOT: @ pascalispunk : it's a bop, fam. 😔 why'd you have to play me like this @yn_000 replied: literally no one said it wasnt a bop my love @ pascalispunk replied: i love it when you call me your love 💗
IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING SALAD.
THE SHEER AUDACITY OF THESE LOVE-DOVEY SEWER RATS. I DEMAND SATISFACTION.
Clip #2: The Breakfast Person
"I'm not really a breakfast person," you casually admit, mid-interview.
Pedro audibly gasps, "you're not a br- Wait, no, suddenly that makes so much sense. You stuff your face so quickly during lunch."
You slap him on the chest, "hey!"
Pedro snorts, "it's okay, baby, I gotchu," he begins to cook on his imaginary pan, "bacon and eggs, pancakes, oatmeal, whatever, I gotchu."
"You make oatmeal in a pan?" you ask, furrowing your brows.
"Only for the people I love," he smiles and leans towards you. He begins to make a weird laughing noise that sounds part motorcycle, part massive idiot who's so damn annoying.
You take a seconds look at him before smacking him on the face.
Cinematic parallels.
Clip #3: Our Fridge
"There," Pedro holds up the portrait of you that he had been completing the entire interview.
You look up from your own paper and break into hysterics. You lean into your knees from where you sat, nearly toppling forward. Pedro chuckles as he reaches out to you to keep you from falling. You lean back in your seat and wheeze, "what IS that?"
"What do you mean," Pedro grins, "don't you recognize yourself?"
You make a face as you catch your breath. You point to the top area of his paper, "is that supposed to be an eye?"
Pedro looks at his creation, "no, that's... that's that-- but this is your eye."
"You mean to tell me you drew me one eye?"
"I took creative liberties."
You chuckle in disbelief, "this man just told me he thinks I look like Mike Wazowski."
"Mike Wazowski wishes he'd look half as good as you, mi amor."
You turn to the camera, "I don't know how I feel about that."
"Which part?"
"Every part!"
"Well," he rips the page off the sketchpad, "better put this on our fridge."
"We are not putting this on our fridge."
"Why not?" he whines.
"Well, besides the fact it's ugly-"
"WOW," he trails off loudly, "just because it doesn't meet twisted societal beauty standards doesn't mean it's ugly."
You simply shake your head, "that is not going anywhere near our fridge."
PEDRO SAID BOO YOUR PETTY SOCIETAL BEAUTY STANDARDS 😩😩😩
YOU TELL EM PEDRO.
Also, they really said
OUR FRIDGE
And I think that's beautiful.
And now quite possibly, the most damning evidence of all.
THIS.
You and Pedro are sat next to each other on a sofa across an interviewer during one of those fan meet interview sort of segments. It's a fan cam, and from the angle in which this particular audience member is sat, its very much visible that Pedro, with his arm slung on the top of the back rest, was drawing circles onto your back. You do not outwardly react to his touch at all. [THIS RAT SO USED TO IT FFS]
You turn to Pedro and ask on through your mic, "what do you think?"
He says 'huh' off mic, then straightens up and brings his mic to his lips, only to give you a confused look.
"What do you think of that scene?" you repeat, brushing his brows with your thumb in affectionate annoyance. [BOO 👎 PDA BOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO 🍅🍅🍅🍅]
"Oh," he says, "that scene," he nods his head and widens his eyes at you, hoping you'd help him out.
The crowd laughs. [SIMPS smh]
You only mimic his wide eyes and offer a raised brow.
Pedro and you stare for a moment. Ultimately, he sighs and rubs your nape with his fingers, "fine-" the person recording says 'WTF' "-I have no idea what you're talking about."
There is a chorus of laughs.
"I'm still on the part where you said I was hot when I was covered in blood."
The crowd screams. You roll your eyes. Pedro laughs as he literally grabs your neck and pulls you into him, crushing you against him.
The crowd goes wild. The person who is recording is cursing.
Deep breath. FIRST OF ALL-
The person recording's a real MVP for managing to keep (relatively) calm while witnessing the gall of those two to do that in front of EVERYONE'S SALAD.
Second of all, aint no way, aint NO WAY you let someone like tHIS-
-with his itty bitty tiny waist and manhandle you like THAT in, and I can't stress this enough, FRONT OF EVERYONE'S SALADS, and not do anything further. It's science.
You're honor, the ruling, please.
100% Guilty of ✨Smashing✨
#pedro pascal#pedro pascal fanfic#pedro pascal x reader#pedro pascal crackfic#pedro pascal social media au#pedro pascal fluff#pedro pascal x actress!reader#pedro pascal fanfiction#help me im so tired#pedro pascal x you
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can we please get more angst? 🙏
like what if reader decides to unalive herself? cant take the grief anymore and knowing that drinking and binge eating will not do anything but just burn money and delay the inevitable. and simon is too late to save her. cue simon grieving in return and drowning in guilt and self hatred for putting her in that situation.
•°. *࿐ Drowned
ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley x Reader
pt. 1 - pt. 2
Synopsis: By the time Simon returns to your shared home, it's already too late for you. You've hit rock bottom in the rabbit hole, and Simon is ready to jump into that same hole.
Word count: 2.606
Masterlist
First of all I’d like to apologise for my two month(?) absence. I got overwhelmed with school work that I needed to focus on and some personal problems happened. For anyone who has stuck around, this is the long waited part 2 that I promised a while ago. I haven’t written anything in my long break so bear with me. Second of all you guys really want more angst from me. I was planning on doing a happy ending but this will do.
TW!! Suicide, alcoholism
For the people that wanted to be tagged: @somehopeatlast @yyiikes
It’s too much. Everything is too much. Everyone has been telling you that healing takes time. When in reality, all that you feel is despair. Instead of the wound gradually closing, all that’s really happening is your heart getting ripped out day by day. You don’t know how much longer you can keep this charade up. You’re throwing people fake smiles left and right, and ‘I’m fine’ has left your mouth more times than you could actually care for. It’s as if you’re living life as a mindless zombie. Barely doing the bare minimum to sustain yourself. Every time someone checks up on you, you tell them you’re doing okay, could be better but you’re fine. At least, that’s what you want them to think. You’re just a shell of the person you were when Simon was still here and alive. You’re blowing through your money like no tomorrow. But can you get yourself to care enough to do anything about it? No, and not for the foreseeable future. You spend your days drinking away, either at home or in bars. You’ve tried moving on, but the only thing you’re able to see in them is Simon. You chicken out before anything can get serious. Your bingeing habits haven't changed a bit, you’re on the same routine.
It's been months and you can’t get out of this rabbit hole you’ve dug yourself. Months.
It’s crazy to think about the chokehold Simon has on you, even when he isn’t physically here himself.
You’ve had enough. You’re not living life as is. You’re practically a dead person walking, a mindless being. All you’re doing is blowing money when you could be doing anything else but that. You’ve contemplated long and hard about this decision, and to be frank. You see no negatives to this option. Taking the way out seems like a way better alternative for you than continuing to waste the air around you with useless breaths.
The hooded figure that you sometimes see outside your window has started showing up less and less. You’ve made eye contact before, but before you can even mutter a word out the shadow has vanished. As if he never existed and is a figment of your imagination. You could’ve sworn that those were the eyes of Simon. His sharp brown eyes are unmistakable. You can recognize them from anywhere. But, he is dead. The possibility of it being him is simply impossible. You stare solemnly out the window. You want to see whether the shadow really is a figment of your imagination, or if it’s actually a person. But they never show up. If the shadow had shown up, would you have gone through with your plan? Probably not. As insane as it might sound, you feel a sort of pull for the shadow. As if it’s calling out for you.
When all you can see is the dark starry night. You sigh and shut the blinds. No one needs to see what you’re going to commit. You head upstairs to your once-shared bedroom. You walk absentmindedly to Simon’s bedside drawer. Revealing a small handgun. He always keeps weapons on him, or around him. To keep both you and him safe in case anyone ever dares to try anything in your own home. You pick up the piece of iron. Simon has taught you how to use it, in case there’s an emergency and he isn’t there to protect you. Back then it felt like a light piece of metal. Now, it sits heavy in the palm of your hand.
You slowly sit on the floor. Your back against the side of the bed. You expected to feel afraid. But to your surprise, you don’t feel anything at all. As if everything is numb. For that part you are a little thankful for, it’ll make this so much easier for you to do. You turn the gun in your hands. Inspecting your executioner. Minutes pass, and you’re still sitting idly on the floor. You’re waiting for the right moment. Deep down, you’re hoping that Simon will walk through the door. Wrap you up in his arms and tell you how everything is okay now. That it was simply a mission gone wrong, which made it so he couldn’t come home at the promised time frame. But as the silence of the house engulfs the house in an eerie peace. You close your eyes. This is the right moment. Simon won’t show, and he won’t show. You need to get that in your thick skull.
You look around your shared bedroom for the last time. Picture frames litter your dressers. His clothes are still hanging in his section of your closet. You put the gun away and back into his nightstand. You can’t do this, not here at least. Not at the serenity that belongs in your bedroom.
You scramble up from the floor. You pick up the crinkled piece of paper sitting on Simon’s desk. You go downstairs and pin it on the fridge with a magnet. Visible for anyone who comes looking for you. You rush outside, not bothering to bring a jacket with you. You’re not going to need it anyway. You run outside, not noticing the shadow blending in the night watching you. He wants to follow you, like he usually does, wanting to make sure you don’t do anything stupid or that you’ll regret. But this time, he can’t bring his feet to move. He simply watches you run off to whatever destination you have in mind.
You run off to the bridge you frequent with Simon. Not a lot of people go across it during the day. No one ever comes through at midnight. Giving you time alone to think and reminisce. You lean on the metal railing. Images of the various late-night dates Simon would take you on during his off days flash through your mind. You crack a small smile at that, embracing the pleasant memories once again. Your smile drops. Memories, that’s all they’ll ever be. You won’t be able to recreate them or make new ones anymore, not with Simon or anyone else. You brush away stray tears and let out a soft sniffle. You climb over the railing. You stand on the other side, peering down at the frigid cold water below. You look behind you, making sure no one is there. You suck in a deep breath, close your eyes, and let yourself slowly tip over the edge. One to two seconds feel like minutes. You feel the wind rushing past your face. Soon the cold water greets you. Despite the freezing temperature, it feels like a warm embrace. As if it’s welcoming you. You let yourself sink, letting more memories of you and Simon flash through your mind. Soon enough, everything goes black. You’ve lost this battle. Was it worth it? Some would say not, but to you? It was. You were miserable day after day. This was a peaceful alternative.
***
The shadow gets worried when hours pass by and you don’t return home yet. A bad feeling settles in the depths of his stomach. A nauseating feeling overwhelms him. He emerges from the shadows of the night. His mask was illuminated by the moonlight. He wants to know where you’ve gone. He shoves a flowerpot on your front porch aside with his foot, revealing a spare key. He grabs it and unlocks the door. It opens slowly. He steps inside, he takes off his worn boots. Not wanting to have anything traced back to him, anything that’ll show someone has been in the comfort of your own home. He looks around with confusion. He spots your phone and keys on the dining table. That’s weird. You never leave without those items, something Simon has drilled into your mind. He frowns behind his mask. He looks around everywhere. Eventually, he finds himself in the kitchen. At first glance, nothing seems out of the ordinary. He squints his eyes at the fridge. A note is pinned on the piece of metal. He takes big strides towards the fridge and reads the note. His heart sinks to his stomach. The urge to throw up is getting to him.
To anyone who finds this note. It’ll most likely be you, Price. I’m sorry. I know I’ve said that I’m fine, that I’m getting better. But I think you know this as well, that I’m not. If anything, I’m getting worse by the day. I’ll keep it short. I have nothing much to say anyway. Not that anyone would care. Don’t come looking for me. I’ll be long dead by the time you find this note. I don’t even know where I am. I might be in my bedroom, bathroom, in a ditch somewhere, or even floating in a river. On the bright side, I’m happy. Happier than ever. Don’t worry, I’ll be okay. I have Simon to keep me company.
I love you Simon, I’ll see you soon.
He rips the note off the fridge. He rereads it over and over. Hoping, no, praying that his eyes are deceiving him. That this is just some sick joke being played on him. You’ve done your fair share of pranks on him, but they’ve never been this extreme. He crumples up the note and shoves it in his pocket. He rips his mask off and throws it on the table near your phone and keys. He lets out a snarl. He slams his palms on the wooden table. “Fuck!” He exclaims. He pulls out his burner phone. He dials a number. They immediately pick up on the third ring. “Simon.” A low voice comes through. “Price.” He replies. He clearly doesn’t sound happy. He can’t let out tears, not now. He doesn’t deserve to. “Did you find something?” This sets something ablaze in Simon. He lets out a dry chuckle. “I’ve found something alright.” He sneers. He can’t help but convert the feeling of anguish to anger, and frustration. Anything but sadness. A low hum follows. “What did you find?” He takes a deep breath in. “I’ve found a suicide note in my own home.” He spits out. A painful silence ensues. “What?” He glares at the wall, lined with your pictures together. “You’ve fucking heard me. Want to explain that to me? You said she was doing fine!” A sorrowful sigh could be heard through the fun. “That’s what she said. I-” Simon interrupts him. “And you believed her?! How didn’t you see what was going on?! I told you, I fucking told you to keep an eye on her while I am gone!” He snaps. Something he probably shouldn’t do to Price, but he can’t bring himself to care right now. Another sigh could be heard. “Simon, listen. The mission-” He scoffs. “I don’t give a damn about the mission right now. My girl is dead for fucks sake!” He shouts. He continues. “I wasn’t happy with this mission. I already told you, I’d only agree to do this if you keep a close eye on her. I trusted you, Price. Now look at what happens. I faked my death, and now she’s dead!” He takes another deep breath to calm himself. “After this mission, I’m done. I’m pulling out. It’s about time I retire from this shithole anyway.” He sneers and hangs up. He throws the phone down on the table as well. He runs a hand through his hair in frustration.
He takes a seat at the table. He runs his hands down his face. A million thoughts run through his head. How did it end up like this? Multiple what-ifs pop up in his mind. What if he showed himself to you on the first day he came back to see you, would you still be alive? He lets out a low growl and slams his fist down on the table. Silent tears stream down his face. How does he always fuck up whatever good comes in his life? At this point, he’s just cursed. He can’t have happiness without something ruining it.
After he collects himself he gets up, but he still has work to do. And as much as he wants to drown himself in guilt and self-hatred. He understands that he still needs to finish his mission. He narrows his eyes as he walks out of your house. The people at the other end of his wrath need to watch their backs. Simon will make anything and anyone suffer, to make them feel the same pain he’s feeling. Deep down, he knows nothing will compare to it.
***
A fucked mission later, a hell of debriefing, he comes back home as a retired soldier. A home that has turned into a cold, haunting, and uninviting. Everything that made this house a home was you, you were his home. You aren’t here anymore. And it’s all his fault. If only he went against orders, let you know what was happening. You would still be here. If only he came to check on you more often, he could’ve seen the signs and stopped you. If only he could’ve shown any sign he’s still alive, you would probably still be here. Alive, breathing, at home, doing whatever you love to keep yourself busy while he’s gone. But no. He fucked up, and he’s paying the price for it.
For days on end, he will feel the remorse, the regret, the guilt. He would fall into the same rabbit hole you dug. Instead of you going down it. You’re already rock bottom, he’s simply joining you. He spends his time drinking. That’s what he knows helps best in this situation. Whenever he’s not drinking he’s spending time in his home gym.
A thought crosses his mind. The same one that has yours at one point. He lays in bed, your pillow still has your smell and it haunts him. He reaches over to his nightstand and opens his drawer. What he sees breaks his heart all over again. His gun. It has been moved. He’s certain this wasn’t how he left his gun before he left. He always made sure that the grip was facing him so he could grab it quickly in a time of emergency. It isn’t lying in that position anymore. He sits up with the gun in his hand. He plays around with the piece of iron in his hand. Unloads and loads the bullets over and over. Pushing the safety back and forth. Anything to distract him from the void he’s feeling in the pit of his stomach. Your note that you’ve left on the fridge rests on his nightstand. You said you were going to be okay. That you’ll have Simon to keep you company. Well, he isn’t fucking there, is he? He wants to join you so desperately. But he’s afraid, not of death. But even if there is an afterlife, would you accept him? He lied to you. A lie that cost you your life. He doesn’t know if he could endure that on top of the grief he’s feeling. But even seeing you one last time would be better than this.
So he sits there, in the darkness of your shared bedroom. Contemplating if he should join you. Something you were doing a few nights prior. If only he didn't accept the damn mission. He wouldn’t be drowning in his grief and self-hatred if he let the mission go. You would be here, in his arms. And that thought would forever haunt him until he does opt for the other route.
I’m sorry lovie, for everything.
#cod#cod x reader#cod mwii#cod mw2#ghost#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#call of duty#call of duty x reader
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what are some pictures you resonate with Rut and Stella or Nico and Stella?
ꔫ pictures that remind me of stella and rut
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( thank you for requesting! I decided to do rut for this, let me know if anyone else would like to see a Stella and Nico version. I had so much fun looking for some pictures, I wish I could put more pictures in a post on mobile, everyone please don’t be a silent reader! )
°. — ( feel free to send any requests of things you would like to see in this series, or if you just want to share some thoughts! I would absolutely love that! Please comment if you would like to be added to the tag list!)
au masterlist - you can find asks under #💌stellahughes!
°. — asks about stella and rut are under #⋆ ˚。⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!
˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚ stella and rutger’s photo gallery ˖⁺。˚⋆˙
.❀。Stella hates swimming, but she’s always willing to snuggle in Rutgers lap on a floatie. There is a lot of whispered conversations, kisses and soft touches as they get lost in there own world as there friends and her brothers swim and have fun around them. 📸 taken by Luke Hughes!
.❀。stella is a very supportive girlfriend, going to as many games of his she can. Rutger calls Stella his good luck charm, always having to have a kiss from her before and after a game. Stella loves watching Rutger play, she’s so proud of him and she can really see how passionate and happy he is when he’s on the ice 📸 taken by Luca fantilli
.❀。Stella loves the library, she just finds it so peaceful. Rutger loves joining her at the library, sitting at one of the back tables, hushed whisperers and giggles, and soft jaw kisses are shared as they study and read. 📸 taken by Stella!
.❀。they can never keep there hands to themselves, they have had there share of elevator makeouts. I can see them in this picture. Rip to the innocent bystanders that has caught them a few times
.❀。Stella just has a habit of randomly biting rut, in the beginning of there relationship it would shock rut and make him laugh but now he’s used to it, sometimes he would randomly bite her back. He thinks anything she does is adorable. She mostly bites him on his arms/ biceps (I mean can you blame her???) sometimes softly bitting under his jaw to tease him.
.❀。they are always getting lost in there own world whenever they are together, they can only focus on each other as they stare into each others eyes. Anyone could see that they are in love. There eyes are always going to each other in crowds. There so in love I can’t. 📸 taken by Adam fantilli
.❀。they are always holding hands, they like feeling each others touch. Rutger holds tightly onto Stella’s hand when they are in crowds, always feeling better knowing that she’s close. When they are sitting next to each other, there holding hands. When they nap/sleep there holding hands. There just obsessed with each others hands, it’s so cute. 📸 taken by Rutger
.❀。Rutger loves Stella’s chest, he’s definitely a boobs guy. Whenever they are alone his hand is almost always resting on her boobs, he’s always caressing or leaving kisses on her chest, smirking at how sensitive she is. He also loves laying on her chest, listening to her heartbeat as she softly plays with his hair, it’s his favorite place to be 📸 taken by Stella
.❀。Stella loves holding Rutgers face in her hands, she thinks Rutger is the most beautiful person in the world. She could just stare at his face all day. She loves his smile so much, his smile is what made her fall in love with him. It makes her happy, softly caressing his cheeks as they stare into each other eyes, not having to say anything aloud;there eyes saying everything for them. Stella loves holding his face In her hands as she places a ton of kisses all over his face, smiling at the sound of his laughter. And Rutger feels the same! 📸 taken by Ethan Edwards
˖ ་ 💭 roro’s notes ( I just cant explain how much I love there relationship, I really want to get some blurbs and fics out for them, but I’m having trouble writing rn, but soon I’ll get something out! PLEASE DON’T BE A SILENT READER 🫶🏻)
°. — taglist ( @privatemythss @bradenschneider )
#⋆ ˚。⋆୨👩🏻🎨୧˚ stella hughes au!#💌stellahughes!#⋆ ˚。⋆୨🩷୧˚ stella & rut!#rutger mcgroarty x reader#rutger mcgroarty imagine#rutger mcgroarty#umich x reader#umich hockey#umich imagine#nhl imagine#umich fic#hughes sister#jack hughes#quinn hughes#luke hughes
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if im an artist with no following + want to make games for $ (i want to do game dev for work) shld i release games for free at first so ppl have a Taste (idk if ppl will buy even if it looks good n idk hiw to advertise. i hav no monies or job rip
idk really if your games look good and are good then ask for money but if you havent made games before and will be doing amateur work youre probably gonna get better results releasing free stuff for your first things.
if youre going to make eroges like me i thikn itch io is a good place if your game has a good look and you tag it with all the nsfw tags i use like porn and adult and if you relaly wanna be bold tag your transgirl game as futanari for free tourist traffic.. it should help with building audience
ultimately i dont think its about if its paid or free when getting started its more like.. dont spend 5 years working on your first project. aim to do small ones like jam games that take a month or two to make. then you can release a pay what you want free game and a paid game and see how it compares and then use that experience as your information going forwards
also if you're doing free games i thikn pay.what-you-want option with some bonus stuff like for example an artbook like how i do it is a pretty good way to approach free games as well. i dont see it as often as id expect given how nice it is
if you end up making money from your games eventually i think the best thing to invest in terms of games is to pay a good artist to make you nice looking sprites it helps with people taking your game more seriously be it a paid game or a free one
maqrketing is kindof annoying but I'm terminally online and cant stop posting so the tried and true method of posting porn and shitposts about my game on social media is what i do
but seriously IMO the most important thing is just that dont spend years making some bbig project in the dark and start with something small first to get more familiar with your skills and audience and what you even want to do first. even if your big project ends up being amazing its a huge risk and time investment.. it works for some peopel but theres many people who it wont work for
finishign games is hard so imo the most valuable skill is to just finish something like put aside some time in your life for 2 months for a jam and complete a game. if you can do that then it means you can do games and experiment what is the right play to do if your goal is to make money
idk how much money here truly is to be made with tiny indie games but itch io is good for porn and if you wanna sell out make some koikatsu waifu game for cis man audience and release a 0.1b version and put up a patreon looool <3 remember, no ntr. men are afraid of ntr
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Hello!
Can I request yandere engineer (after a long chase/ escape attempt) taking his darling s/o for a ride.
*wink wink ;)*
Sure thing!
GO! Yandere Engineer x GN reader almost smut
CW: Curisng, smut, non con, dismemberment, detailed descriptions of gore, obsession, condescention, gaslighting, car "accidents", improper use of power tools, imminent sex Dead dove do not eat.
Authors note: Theres no PNV, or PNA, rather the "smut" occurs with the afforementioned power tools. Please let me know if you want me to make a less violent version. Also its kind of implied Dell is a robot... soyeah
@virginstoner666 (tagging bc you might like it)
The moment their feet hit the sandy ground beneath them the alarms blared. Its moments in fact like these, where scientists would marvel at the capabilities of the human form. To run injured across dangerous, unyielding terrain to escape much bigger adversaires. The moments when humans as a species , fueled by their adrenaline, only make it so far, so fast, because they were fed with their natural chemical superpower.
Dr. Conagher didnt see it that way as he hauled ass in his busted bright red '64 Chevvy. He could hear buzzing in his ears the more irritated he got. Lizards wheezed about eerily in the pitch black desert, alerting the man of just where to look.
Pissed wasn't nearly a strong enough word for the emotion Dell felt as he picked up to a speed his poor truck shouldn't have been running at in such a harsh climate. No...just that morning he'd been the living definition of kind when they first tried to leave, naked body half alive crawling weakly a foot away from their quarters. He granted them the mercy then of not ripping their fleshy ears of their head when he dragged them back sobbing.
They acted like he beat them or something... he did of course, but it wasn't anything undeserved.
Claiming you don't love your spouse is a sin with a capital SIN after all, Dell only served as device to put them in their place. Oh, and it did hurt the engineers cold steam-powered heart, but he couldn't think of a better treatment for the unfaithful.
And still they ran.
The backs of his bottom teeth ground the plaque on his upper incisors as his jaw set, mechanical hand holding the wheel steady as his lights glinted harsh off the broken electric collar on their neck. He was just happy this was close to over as he spun the wheel, sending his truck into a circle of dust, and throwing the car into reverse.
A solid noise followed by a wavering yelp of pain told Dell he accomplished exactly what he wanted to. With a sneer his foot held down the clutch as he roughly shoved the shift into park. The head of his freshly sharpened axe broke the soft, sandy rode as he trudged boredly over to the lump sobbing by his rear tire. "Now sugar, what in gods name are you doin all the way the hell out here?" The night air cracked like a whip in the heavens as the drizzling rain covered the light footprints... all the effort they'd made to get this far. They tried to curl up, to shield themselves from the almost cocky blur of the yellow flashlight Dell had in his left; but with two broken ribs the action was excruciating. They tensed as Dell sneered and took the tip of his steel toed boots up to their tear stricken cheeks. "Much safer inside aint it? And I warned you... didn't I?" He asked, kneeling down above their wheezing display, a look of cruel pity shadowed across his boxy face. "Now you know what Ive said about the world baby, and you know I hate hurtin you... but what have i said before? I said repeatedly, 'now honey you're not gonna like what I do to you if you keep trynna leave.' And you STILL disobeyed me." The grip on their chin bruised abit as he tried to still himself from hurting them. Only a sigh escaped his lips as he stood again, leaning back steadied by the axe held behind his leg.
"Now baby I really dont want to do this--" "Dell please we can ta-"
"No no no. We cant talk! Clearly, if talkin worked youd be back at home pleasin me, stayin safe like youre sposed to! No, talkin aint working, clearly, so Im trying am more holistic approach." He groweled darkly as he rolled his shoulders. "Dell, baby no! Please- it wont- its not going to-" "I know sugar, i'll make sure it doesnt happen again."
Rain poured down harder now as Dell dramatically crossed himself, cap falling to the ground as his leg took a step back to swing.
With a sharp THWACK, the axes blade tore through the flesh and muscle as blood rose back as high as Dells tense shoulders before he went to take another swing. Harsher this time... the pain registers, and the love of Dells life screamed with the pained wails of an injured bird. The sounds only mocked them as they echoed throughout the deep emptiness of the desert. Again the axe came down.
Again the bone broke, oozing all kinds of metallic fluid that mingled with the blood in the shredded muscle, fat tissue catching the blades nicks as Dell had to jostle it out of the pebbly femur he'd decimated. Connective tissue snapped back like tight packaging tape against the warm steel as Dell dropped to his knees. He held his love by the shoulders, tears against their neck as they tried with tired, nerve wracked muscles to writhe and fight their way away.
"No no baby shh,shh its okay, Ive got you..." he looked into their eyes earnestly, cupping a side of their neck in worry as the other held their cheek. He pulled their head down to kiss, holding them against his soft, hairy chest as his gloved hand stroked their head, the other slipping behind to rub their back. "Shh, dont worry Dells got you... you aint gotta cry! It aint that bad, its like pulling teeth with a door yeah?" They shook their heard through tears, refusing to look into his grey eyes as he pulled them back and nodded. "Yeah thats right... it only ever stings a bit, it'll be okay baby, shh."
The metal fingers of one arm soon trailed down their side as he sighed and tried to make right what hed just done.
"What can I do to make it better my love? You want me to love on you a bit?" He asked, chuckling as if what he said was charming."Want me to do it like we did when we first met?"
Scruff scratched their neck as they tried to lean away from his kisses, hands stabilizing theirs as he tried his damndest to make the situation less serious. They shook their head as his skilled mouth left damp hickies across their skin, their squirming drawing ants and dirt into their severed leg. "Hold still sugar I cant... keep you up if you're squirming."
Just the push of the bright yellow button on his wrist sent them into hysterics as they quietly begged him not to do anything, to just take them home. He cooed, chuckling lightly as his drill of arm quickly ripped hole in their pants... well... his pants. But the details werent important, and with their new little injury they could spend their recovery sewing that right back up.
Their little pleas got louder as Dell searched his pockets for the 'right bit'.
"Now baby- baby youve got to stop worryin, its...3:am and we're in the dead centre of the desert, who in their right minds would be out right now. Especially at a time like this?" He asked cheekily, treating all of their words like jokes as he undid the large phillips head with a strange industrial steel bolt shaped bit. He only scratched his head. "Aint much of anything safer I have right now sug'." "Then stop!" "Oh please-" he scoffed playfully as he rolled his metal arm around a 'yada yada' motion, "like youve not done more dangerous with me before. Just sit back and enjoy it."
#yandere engineer#yandere engie#yandere engineer smut#yandere engie smut#yandere engineer x reader#yandere engie x reader#yandere engineer x gn reader#yandere engie x gn reader#yandere engineer x reader smut#yandere engie x reader smut#yandere engineer x gn reader smut#yandere engie x gn reader smut#Imminent noncon#dead dove do not eat#tw dismemberment#tw violence#tw: sa#tw: yandere
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You wanna talk fic? OKAY.
1. How many wips do you have currently?
2. Which one are you finding the hardest to finish? Why do you think that is?
3. What does it usually look like when inspiration strikes for you?
4. Do you curate playlists for each fic or is your process different?
5. Do you go balls to the wall and write as you go or are you more organised?
I'm just curious, it's interesting to know what it looks like for different authors and I wanna learn about you so. There you go! Have a nice day :D
OKAY!
like, 7? but i'm 90% done with the saltommy fic so if i exclude that, it'll be 6. although im so tempted to write more tommy threesome fic so.. might go back to 7 soon. hah. cant help myself.
the saltommy fic. i have chronic 'cant finish things' disorder plus i lowkey dont wanna let go 🥺 i get attached to my characters when writing long fic, because its a specific version of them. and endings are hard. and this one specifically because its not going to be a happy ending (it is canon compliant after all, and tommy meets buck some years later, so... it's bucktommy endgame in this universe) but im a weak bitch so i might write a little oneshot companion piece taking place when buck and tommy are together and run into sal. as a treat.
uhh.. usually i start a new tumblr text post or google doc and start writing down the words before i lose them. and it just happens at the most random times. i have no control over it whatsoever. rip.
not usually! i made a saltommy playlist to listen to as i write to keep me in the saltommy mood (because i tend to check tumblr and its like, 90% bucktommy, and then i get distracted) i tend to make character or ship playlists according to canon.
probably balls to the wall? i never plan before i start writing. i just write down ideas or scenes as they come to me. and then might rearrange the order or think a bit more about how to make the story flow better, with a clear beginning, middle, and end, even when there's not much *plot* happening, more character or relationship study. for more plot-heavy fics i'll have a vague outline at least in my head. i know other writers are more organised. im usually just winging it.
im gonna tag some writer friends if they want to answer about themselves but no pressure
/ @wikiangela @evanbi-ckley @buckera
/ @aringofsalt @theweewooshow @bucksboobs
/ @jewishbuckley @repressedqueen @evnnkinard
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Fizz and Blitzo’s Beef doesn’t make any since
To me
(idk why it says my replies are restricted if you cant reply go ahead and just tag your comments or something I am not sure how to turn it off my reply settings say anyone can reply supes sorry)
In my opinion
What do you think?
(This isn't really flaw of the ep it's more just... I guess a me thing? I think?)
Is it just me or does Fizz and Blitzo’s Beef build up not have the effect it thinks its does? What I mean is before Oops biltzo and Fizz obviously had some beef with each other because of what Blizto says to robot Fizz, what Fizz says to Blizto in Ozzie's and also when they see each other in Oops for the first half.
For Fizz it makes some since, but Blizto doesn’t make any what’s so ever because they haven't seen each other since the accident because Biltzo couldn’t visit him, right? Right. So how can this hate be mutual? They were on good terms before the accident as Blizto was going to tell Fizz he liked him but chickened out and it looked like he was mad at Fizz, but he wasn’t.
Why on earth did Blizto not like him(Fizz)? He calls Fizz an over rated sell out jester. You would think someone who was so overwhelmed by guilt of getting his best friend and crush obliterated on accident that he cried when apologizing. wouldn’t have said something so mean about him. Also why is blizto jealous of Fizz if he left bad about the accident wouldn’t seeing Fizz alive and becoming successful make him feel better like “oh awesome I didn’t ruin his life or anything” You can say its jealousy on Blitzos part, but you literally almost killed him so you can only be mad so much (in my opinion) and he is clearly happy for fizz and his accomplishments
And if blizto was pretending to hate Fizz because he assumed Fizz hated him and wanted to just go along with it instead of facing the problem. Well, that goes against everything else we’ve seen blizto do! You're telling me he can sneak into Stolas’ castle, the rehab hospital, find Barbie (even when she doesn’t want to found), and will disregard the boundaries of Moxxie to get what he wants but he couldn’t find or sneak into Fizz’s hospital or somewhere he worked to apologize? Sure right, this is Stolas not finding Octavia even though she had the book with her and stolas could've located the book to find her all over again
also why is blizto so surprised when Fizz tells him he didn’t ruin his life with how well-known and marketed Fizz is obviously you didn’t ruin his life.
Fizz says Blizto’s love life is bad. How does he know that? If the last time they’ve seen each other was on Fizz’s birthday then how in the world does he know that? all of Bliztos known romantic relationships to us the audience is Verosika and Stolas. Unless verosika told Fizzarolli about their relationship how does he know that? “Some nerve you have to comment on a relationship. Last time I checked your love life is pile of shit” last time you checked? Babes, you haven't seen him in 15 years! How did you check? last time you “checked” anything you needed up an amputee
Other eps make it seem like Blizto and Fizz had some big falling out, but they didn’t. So how does all this
“I make more money than you do being a cheap ass robo rip off of an overrated sell out jester”
“Hey, everyone, this guys a total disgrace”
“Some nerve you have to comment on a relationship. Last time I checked your love life is pile of shit”
“I have my own life without you in it”
“Twice is already way too much”
“Well at least I'm still actually working for my shit and not getting everything handed to me like some pampered attention whore!”
“My horns were always bigger than yours”
Come form not seeing someone for 15 years?
For Fizz? sure it makes since homeboy blew you up but for blizto to have such a guilty reaction and burst into tear proclaiming about how sorry he was doesn’t make any since. They were so salty towards each other than they haven’t seen each other in 15 years and not having a big fight before they were separated doesn’t make any sense to me. It would be one thing if Blizto was pretending to forget the accident, or keep denying that he started the fire, but he just admits it, and this is obviously something that eats up at him and that he regrets.
Why does blizto have so much animosity towards Fizz? Given what all other episodes and the beginning of Oops makes it seem like Fizz and Blizto had some big falling out and maybe had some type of romantic thing going on and know more knowledge about each other than Oops shows us, but there’s nothing!
thoughts?
Am I watching the show wrong lol?
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