#i cant tell her all that in a text!!! | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

b4kuch1n · 1 year ago

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siren

#bakuspecial #cw: nudity #cw: body horror #monster #siren! I think. they're bird to me #I think this has been brewing since that stream mim did of drawing dnd monsters only from official text description #and when the official art for the sirens were shown I was like. oh thats just a woman with wings #lmao like. granted. its an official dnd book available for all audience. you cant make it too Bad To Look At #(I do not agree with this but it wasnt about me. if its about me its gonna be about very few people lmao)#but yeah. after that I got slightly too into the idea of putting more bird into birdwoman #but I also do genuinely love monsters that are Rearranged Human Parts so. I couldnt commit too much to the bird scales Im so sorry #I wanted the fleshiness. the feel. textural experience of holding her hands and being like oh that's a human #even when ur eyes tell u otherwise. mmm #...I looked to my right as I was typing these tags and saw. the fucked up pikmin I tried to sculpt the other day along with the pin #and got startled #its so. its so fucked up. gods. dusty white naked grainy parsnip #I used to have that one doll I butchered wanting to customize in a box next to me and thats way less upsetting than this. man #its perfect actually I will never throw this thing away. anyways #now. now I go to bed. its sleep time for the baku #have a good night lads! you CAN have it both way easily you just need a big bat

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lovelyrotter · 3 months ago

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can ppl in this fandom like... stop... implying that transmasculinity in hcs or (especially) canon is shallow or misogynistic or even transmisogynistic on princible, like literally just by being prescent in someones mind or in the text. like that doesnt fuckin feel good. thats kind of really nasty to imply. if its not okay to say about other trans experiences, maybe dont say it about this one either. why is there a weird little exception here. yall KNOW how much that sucks to hear all day every day. what the fuck

#my t #idk how to tell the hs fandom that every piece of trans coding in roxy in hs1 can be read as transmasc too. like transfem and transmasc #at the same time from the EXACT same reasons. its almost like we all share experiences just by way of being trans. weird i know #its almost like being trans rlly truly highlights what it is to be human and how we are all in fact at the end of the day human together #i just want everyone to stop trying to 'poke holes' in other fans trans hcs FULL STOP across the board no matter who they are #or what the hc is. its needlessly hurtful and more often than not trips into real peoples dysphoria which then #makes the target more likely to lash out. so the person poking them abt it can do a ''SEE? THEYRE ALL MEAN ONE OF THEM #WAS MEAN TO ME JUST NOW'' routine. its so obviously a 'im not touching u!!!' playground maneuver like holy fuck grow up #if you wanna fight for transfem/me folks right to just exist random fans personal headcanons is not the fuckin time or place #the XY in roxys name could be read as her having been DMAB or it could be hussie having a long running giggle about him preordering #his own transmasculinity. roxys colour being pink could be bc shes a girl or it could be compcis!!!#roxys desperation for a bf is from loneliness in canon but its often read as her feeling like she needs one to be a real girl #it can ALSO be read as another aspect of him struggling with compcis and comphet esp w/ his fantasies abt being 'a mother'#yknow what i never fuckin see that rlly highlights the fact that this is just a shitty 'girls rule boys drool' thing? theres like. no #discussions on the potential of roxy being any kinda intersex. absolutely none. he could be mtftm for all you fuckin know #but oh yknow being mtftm is A Shallow Read so we cant have that. hs is only for girls didnt you know we need to terf- i mean turf #out every single instance of queer mascness bc its Evil in the text didnt you know #god help the fandoms word of god token trans boy dirk strider for 'choosing' his eternal misery while everyone else is enlightened #by way of transforming into a girl. bc we must place girlhood on an inhuman pedistal of perfection and niceness and joy and rainbows #like what IS this mahou shojo brand gender essentialism???? im fuckin sick of it #can we remember that girlhood isnt & wasnt safe or joyful for everyone & that that can translate into how we curate our fandom experiences

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musubiki · 11 months ago

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recently thinking about the tcwg episode where mochis mob spell finally starts running out. apparently its maximum possible usage is 10 years (which they find out from pom) and appearently tiramisu put it on her too soon,,... when they ask her she says "Oh...you were such a cute kid I didn't want to wait too long!!" while pinching her cheeks, and suddenly theres a few more people at school who are like "Hey...I never really noticed but...Mochi is kinda pretty, huh?"

for the people who start to notice, they chalk it up to "Maybe she hit puberty late...?" or something, but regardless she has 1 or 2 more people actually ask her out, and lime starts to realize how much it bothers him

#text #bpp #lore #she is....not used to it #mayhaps let this be the moment lime realizes #the pitcher on the baseball team one day standing next to lime and goes (So....mochi doesnt have a boyfriend right?)#and lime takes a very long pause #(technically no but first of all what the hell? no one ever notices her. and second of all i feel sick to my stomach) -lime thoughts #pom: it should be fine. youre almost graduated so you dont have to deal with it much longer #and mochi trying to grapple with the idea that some people actually think shes pretty #(besides her mom and coco. theyre the only people who tell her and she thinks theyre being nice)#shes like (i think theyre lying...)#(they are definately not lying) -lime thoughts again #only like 2 people have enough bravery. the others are like (shit shes limes girl though....how am i supposed to compete with that)#the mob spell is op but only for a little while #and after it runs out it cant be recast on the same person #lime didnt realize that she doesnt think shes pretty at all #when that guy confesses to her the first thing she says is (you...think im pretty?)#coco oscar and lime all hovering outside the classroom listening

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theguardianace · 3 months ago

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man. it hasn't even been a full half day of this event being out and im already drafting a fic for it. what an absolute RIDE thsi has been.

#will i post it? idk #it's me so its a rui fic.#its him getting worried when mizuki doesn't show up to school the next day. or the next. or the next or the next or the next #and he knows this isn't his buisness but he can't help but be worried for his dear friend #so he texts.#and they don't even read it #i cant decide if i want him to try going over to mizuki's house and talk to them (they don't open teh door)#or he can't even do that because he doesn't know where mizuki lives #GOD WAIT. what if i did a multichap and had a bunch of characters #toya getting worried too but having none of the context #he doesn't know what to do except take good notes in class for them and hope they come back soon #akito doesnt say anything or do anything #but he notices how tense ena is at home. how stressed she seems but she won't talk about it. (its mizukis secret. shes not going to out the #but aktio can't figure it out and he knows it has to do with mizuki or the cultural festival or something in her circle #but all akito can really do is leave a slice of cheesecake on the counter and keep moving forward #an is worried. and she tries talking to akito but he doesnt know and toya doesnt either #and maybe she overhears the bullies in the hallway and realizes it might be a gender thing #but she doesn't know about ena. she doesn't #but she knows how to fight for her friend so she tells the bullies to back the f off and grow up #nene not really knowing whats going on but noticing mizukis absence and everyone around her getting kinda stressed about it #how akito seems grumpier and an keeps giving some people glares #but mostly rui. whos distracted at practice and distracted at school and keeps checking his phone #and doesn't know what to do. doesn't really do anything because of it. but shes there for rui. and there for mizuki #whenevr they get back.#and kasa. oh silly ol kasa #he notices mizuki's absence and is all “hall monitor” about it for the first like. two dayts #but he notices ruis behavior first adn then an and akitos and man even nene a little #and while hes never read a social cue in his life he knows somethigns wrong. offers to put on a show with rui.#and rui. says. no.#that's when tsukasa freaks out

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rainingincale · 11 hours ago

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Love when people deliberately misunderstand what I'm saying because they want to add additional evidence to their beliefs that I am an asshole!!!

#basically i was just saying how i hate. when people offer me things. to be 'nice'. and i say no. because i dont want it. but they insist.#and go to lengths. and so i feel obligated to say yes. even though i did not want to. and accepting said thing is hindering me/annoying me #etc.#that what i said #and the example in this situation was that i wore a cardigan going to someones house the other day because i overheat really easily. and #even if its cold outside i cam survive the less than 1 min walk to the car. but my cousin Insisted that he give me his jumper to wear. and #was like thanks but no im honestly fine. he ignores me and goes all the way upstairs and bacl just to give me it. and even though i did not #want it. i took it because i was gonna look like an asshole if i didnt take it now. and i literally got in the car and immedately took it #off because guess what! i was too warm in the car! and now i have this jumper that i dont want. and i barely see this guy. so its annoying #because now i need to worry about returning it.#and im explaining how i hate when people do this and then being told 'oh it was a nice gesture youre so ungrateful' I DIDNT WANT IT AND I #DIDNT ASK!!!!#like this always happens. im at someones house and Dont want tea because i dont fucking drink tea! but im given it regardless because ppl #think im just being shy/polite but im not! if i say i dont want it I DONT WANT IT!!!#same with food. like if i want food i Promise im not shy and i Will take it. but people think youre lying and force it on you anyways #like i know theyre 'supposedly' being nice but it irks me. why cant you just fucking listen to me and take me at my word.#and when i do put my foot down and say no i am again an asshole. like i cant win #for examples of that lol i complemented my cousins hat and he goes oh take it! I DIDNT WANT IT!!!!¡ and i say that and hes like oh no its #fine and im like really. i dont want it. and this guy wasnt listening so i ended up having to be like i really dont like this colour. so #then i look like a dick and a liar!!!!!!!#and the same happened when my cousin got a bubble tea and offered it to me. and i said no thanks. for a multitude of reasons: we had just #ate and i was full - i dont like sharing drinks because germs - I DONT LIKE TEAA!!!???????????. but for quickness i just said oh i dont #wanna have dairy. and shes like oh its soy milk! and i was like still no thanks. AND SHE GOT SO ANNOYED!!!!!. thank god her fucking daughte #butted in and was like she doesnt want it just let it go #like i swear to god people who cant just take no for a fucking answer make me sooooooooo mad #and theres no winning!!!!! and i am the dickhead who thinks its annoying that people are 'being nice' AAAAAAAAA!!!!!!#like please tell me i am not being crazy oh my fucking gooooodddddddd #le text post

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nbclover · 3 months ago

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What if you could exist as nonbinary in the world

#like i know i can but #i cant be out at work thats just making my social life 10x harder for almost no benefit #i cant go to school anymore i hate it there #and i couldnt really even be out at school because i hate telling people my pronouns #i have a masc name and i like my name but it means people dont assume im nb #and i hate hate hate telling people otherwise #i know there are coworkers i could come out to but #i feel alone #and i need to wake up at some point #which is a whole other thing that i cant put into words but is a thing i need to do #thats what my whole album is about #and ive been working on that thing since march and its driving me crazy #i felt so relieved to think about kirbtober and not that and now its back #i feel like I've found all the pieces and put them together only to not slot in the last one #and then just walk away and let people take whats left #maybe I'm depressed idk #i dont think so #i feel like im dreaming #like i have occasional moments of lucidity separated by days of feleing jaded #making music every day might not help?#but i want to do this #its less so a workload thing #i can make a daily song in 15 minutes to an hour #and be fine with it #but i want it to be good #starflung's comments on the song i made for her keep me going #and ant texting me in the middle of the night (or their day idk) that my music is good #feeling terrible that i want more and more attention #but like #oh okay im out of tags vent post over i guess

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spaghett-onaplate · 4 days ago

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new years vibes

#in the city for thr fireworks woo and everyone is worried bc my mum lowkey threatened to kill herself..#cant tell if we are all over or under reacting #eiee i hope she will be ok tho im texting her rn. should have gotten up earlier to get ready with her #so she could come along to the city too #but anyway. all should be fine. hopefully #the fireworks are really good #the 9pm ones were decent and it isnt long til midnight now #idk i feel mostly unemotional abt the new year but it also makes me feel like a particularly unaccomplished loser #but then. being upset over all i lack does not make me work toward improvement. so there is no real point ij being upset #anyway. happy new years everyone #i am a bit concerned about some friendships. and about the slight crush stirrings #bc i swear im not delusional. he was always the one to approach me and keep in contact. more so than any other friend ive had #which is firstly just yay nice friend but now were joke friend flirting except hes come out to me? helloooo #like. after the initial spiral i mostly don't feel super emotional about it #but a bit confused and stressed #eeee #anyway hope my mum is ok.. tbh i think my brothers gf shouldn't be so upset over it #like yeah its concerning and kinda inappropriate to say to a child #but isn't being upset over this indicative of the privilege we have of this being uncommon

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redwoodforestwiki · 13 days ago

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i cant believe im breaking my not using tumblr streak for this but its 4am and im so emotionally bamboozled by yesterday i cant sleep

im just so PERPLEXED and CONFUSED like im just overthinking everything i guess but what was THAT like am i crazy. am i CRAZY. probably but the question is if i am what do i do about it

#me #ok context so i was seeing someone for literally only a couple months earlier this year #but she had some family stuff going on so she ended it which is fine right #but we've been texting all friendly since then however i havent seen her since it was over #but she invited me to this lil holiday cookie party yesterday and 1. i do have a general rule of accepting all party invites #2. im not against doing things for the plot #so i go #tell me why i spent two hours at sitting around her kitchen table (which btw ive never seen before ive never been to her place!!)#with her two best friends?? two other people showed up later which was such a relief but jesus christ #like maybe it was just in my head but it was so so so awkward i havent felt so fucking weird about existing since i was 12 #so im sitting in these vibes for hours like i said and eventually i get outta there and i go to a bar where i. contemplate my whole life.#like i cant explain it well i just felt so strange like #anyway after i get home she texts me like thanks for coming it was good to see you :)#was it maam was it really did i make up these twilight zone antics in my head #is she just being totally normal and im being totally emotionally dysfunctional or #more broadly do i always put a huge amount of space between myself and other people one purpose #much to think about much to ponder

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the-kipsabian · 9 months ago

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in case you need to know how deep the depression brain fog runs at the moment, i completely forgot today is my cats birthday ough

#literally took my mom of all people texting me about it for me to remember #my tiny small baby child is turning 11 today. i cant tell you enough how blessed i am to have her shes the light of my life ;; 💜💜💜#happy birthday sweet baby i love you 💜💜💜#night is an absolute mess on main

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revenge-of-the-assbutt · 29 days ago

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i feel sick

#every time i think im over her #that she cant hurt me anymore #days like tuesday happen and i miss her so fucking much #i just want my mom #not this narcissist that replaced her when i was 11 #i know she was like this before just to my dad #but i just want the mom that drove me to school every morning and took me to seaworld and the schools pta game night and did pizza fridays #i want to call her and hug her and have her tell me that its all going to be alright #but it wont #and that mom doesnt exist #maybe she never did #fuck i cant do this anymore #i was doing so fucking well #i was so fucking happy #why did she have to ruin it with her 40 essay-texts and email stalking?#and the boys are home now too #and i have to act like their mother didnt just force her way back into my life to bring up memories that make me want to claw my chest open #i have to act happy as my youngest brother gets his phone blown up with texts i know are from her #when i know that shes targeting him now that i left #like she did to me when my dad left her when i was 11 #i cant do this anymore #i just cant #i cant spend my days throwing up in the school bathroom and crying myself to sleep and burying myself in shows to not feel anything real #i keep feeling like the other shoe is going to drop #that shes going to come to my college and tell her lies to everyone and ill lose all my friends and everyone who matters to me #and i cant even block her because she controls my fucking health insurance #the last time i talked to her she threatened to file for conservatorship #i cant do that

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rotting-sun · 4 months ago

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Msorry im so insecure. I rlly try not to be. Clearly doesnt work v well. Isk why i am this way. It maked me fwels pathetic and worthless. I dont want to make u bored. Im afraid of being boring to u. I dont want u to stop loving me. Idk how to stop thinking thay u hate me. In srry. I wanna kms. If i did qpuld i miss me. Would u cry. I kust wanna be nkrmal. Idk wjy i dotn feel like u love me. Msrry. Idk how to fix me. I widh j did. I would do anything for u. It feels like u dont care abt me at all. It feels like im someone u dont even think abt, like im not worth it. Do u hate me? Are u gonna find someone better jn collrge? Are u foing to cut contact w me? Am i mot enough? Tell me what i can do. I just want u to love me. Is there a reaskn u mever buy me anything? Is there a reason u bpught her smth and him and but mot me? Is there a reason? Do uike them mkre? What can i do? What do i hsve to fix? Plz i just want to be lovely to u. Dont lookk at me like i look at me. Please

#vent #personal rant #bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #tw sui ideation #draft text #i could never tell her all that im thinking #she would hate me #and i cant have that

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david-box · 3 months ago

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Stressed and loathe to talk to people about it

#me #text #im moving TOMORROW and one of my parents is being a matyr about it because i need help from someone she has beef with #up to and including asking if she needs to be out of the house while hes here and pretending she just found out he has issues with her #while also saying he cant have issues with her because he didnt tell her??#im not prepared i have no food for the new place and no soap either or silverware but i can solve that #and at work im behind on my training. which isn't totally my fault but i wanna be done #also lowkey think my friend now coworker is subtly bragging about being caught up?#not sure if its me or not tho #im behind because i struggle to ask people to sign me off and people struggle to sign me off because they dont know everything #or theyre busply #plus i had at least a week where i wasnt training at all #but today i need one signature one sheet and one body fluid count and ill only be behind on one thing and not two #also also next week i go on shift hence the deadline #i can get caught up on diffs in between work but body fluids are another issue

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confessiononadancefloor · 1 year ago

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rant <3