#and maybe she overhears the bullies in the hallway and realizes it might be a gender thing

[theguardianace]

man. it hasn't even been a full half day of this event being out and im already drafting a fic for it. what an absolute RIDE thsi has been.

[munsons-maiden]

𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐄𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬

Here’s a smutty little oneshot while I’m working on the next chapter of Worlds Apart. I hope you enjoy! - Love, Kiki  ♡  

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 |  Eddie Munson x female cheerleader!reader (virgin!Eddie x virgin!reader)

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | It’s been two weeks since you and Eddie decided to stop sneaking around and start behaving like every other couple at Hawkins High. Only that you’re not. And after overhearing a group of cheerleaders’ especially cruel gossip about your relationship, Eddie’s insecurities, nourished by all those years of bullying, hit home despite all of his attempts not to let people’s vile words get to him. This time though...he feels like they might be right. Because why would a girl like you ever fall for a guy like him? And when Eddie realizes he made a mistake...he can only hope it’s not too late to fix what he broke. Based on this request: Maybe one where reader is a cheerleader and popular but only wants to be  with eddie but he is insecure because he's the school freak and  overhears mean gossip? Angst w a happy ending?

𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭 | angst with a happy ending; soft, sweet smut; virgin!Eddie x virgin!reader; insecure Eddie; a Pride-And-Prejudice-style confession in the rain  

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 11k  

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | SMUT (only read if you’re 18+ years old!), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), p in v

𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐄𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭, 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭.  

𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬, 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 & 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ♡

Eddie hadn’t wanted to eavesdrop. He truly hadn’t.

But he’d heard your name, and then his own, and now he was standing here, around the corner in the empty hallway, forced to listen to the voices of the three cheerleaders and the ugly things they were saying about you and him. He couldn’t muster the mental strength required to walk past them now and face their scrutiny.

He was a rat in a trap.

“…nearly got a heart attack when I saw her jump out of that rusty old van of his last week,” one of them remarked, “Like, I can’t wrap my head around the thought that they’re dating. Barf me out, that’s disgusting.”

“She’s probably just pitying that freak, anyways, and doesn’t know how to get rid of him. Like one of these flea-infested strays you feed one time and they’ll start following you around. He looks like one of these as well.” Eddie didn’t need to see her face to know she was scrunching her nose in disgust. He was used to that kind of reaction. “Oh god, do you think she’ll bring him if I invite her to my Spring Break party?”

“You probably shouldn’t risk it.”

“Probably. I’m a bit sorry for her, though.”

“Why? It’s on her if she’s screwing around with the scum. I always thought she’d end up with Steve Harrington, to be honest. They would’ve been such a cute couple before he graduated.”

“Don’t they always hang around?”

“I mean, yeah. As far as I know. She says they’re just friends but can you imagine rejecting Steve Harrington to end up with Eddie The Freak Munson?”

There was a beat of affirmative silence, before the second girl said, “I don’t get what she sees in that creep.”

“Maybe she fucks him to get a drug discount.”

“Or maybe he’s got some hidden talents,” the third girl jested.

Eddie could nearly feel how she was grimacing with disgust. It was dripping from her voice like poison.

“A freak in the streets and in the sheets?”

“Urgh, stop it!”, the first one giggled, “Don’t make me imagine it. I wanna scrub my eyes with bleach.”

“He probably always fucks her from behind so she won’t have to see his ugly face.”

There was a fit of giggles mingling with the sound of a locker door being slammed shut, before they finally left. Their footsteps were echoing through the silence that settled over the hallway as they walked away in the other direction, clearing Eddie’s path to the exit – but he was frozen in place.

His back against the wall, he let his head fall so his messy curls would hide the stray tear that was rolling down his cheek, as he squeezed his eyes shut to fight the feeling of nausea in his guts while the cheerleaders’ voices rang in his mind, like a broken record, playing their cruel words on repeat.

She’s probably just pitying that freak, anyways, and doesn’t know how to get rid of him.

I always thought she’d end up with Steve Harrington, to be honest.

He probably always fucks her from behind so she won’t have to see his ugly face.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks since the two of you had decided to stop sneaking around and act like every other couple at Hawkins High.

The news of one of the cheerleaders dating Eddie The Freak had spread like a forest fire when the two of you had walked into the cafeteria together, hand in hand.

Eddie had known it would cause trouble – he just hadn’t anticipated how much the whispers and vile comments would hurt him. He was used to them, had been used to them as long as he could remember.

He was used to being eyed warily, glared at, picked upon and bullied because he was different, and he’d started wearing being different like a shield.

What hurt him was how people had started talking about you.

And the fact that Eddie knew, deep down…that they were right. That you deserved someone better than him.

Someone you could bring to parties and kiss in the hallways without being laughed at or shamed for it. Someone who played basketball instead of D&D, who wouldn’t graduate at his third attempt. Someone who looked like Steve Harrington, not like himself.

Someone who wasn’t a freak.

***

You’d known something was wrong when Eddie hadn’t shown up at your place for movie night as he usually did every Friday evening.

And when you’d sought him in the hallway the following Monday before classes, he hadn’t even looked at you before darting off in the other direction.

But if you were being totally honest with yourself…something had been wrong ever since you’d stopped hiding your relationship from the shark tank that was Hawkins High.

Things with Eddie had started out perfectly, all these months ago. The perfect love story, like the ones found on TV and between the pages of sappy romance novels.

Your craving for a chocolate milkshake and Eddie’s hunger for fries had led to a chance encounter at Benny’s Diner in the middle of a Saturday night a few months ago, and the night had ended with the two of you sharing milkshakes and fries until the good-natured but tired Benny had kicked you out by closing time at three in the morning.

When you’d parted ways in the parking lot with smiles as bright as the full moon in the skies above, the unspoken agreement had been struck to repeat whatever had happened that night. And one week later, when you’d shown up at the diner again, this time in the hopes not for a milkshake but the metalhead you’d always simply known as Eddie The Freak…Eddie had been there already, waiting for you with one of his dazzling grins and the confession that he’d hoped you’d show up again.

Benny’s diner became a sanctuary, and the milk-shake-and-fries-dates with Eddie an unspoken agreement. Away from the halls of Hawkins High where people would have stared, gossiped, about a cheerleader and the Freak talking, laughing together – when talking to Eddie and laughing with him felt like the most natural thing in the world. Like breathing. With Eddie, you realized that the corset you’d strapped yourself in could be loosened. Allowing you, for the first time in years, to actually breathe. To be yourself, just like he was, without saying something wrong, being judged. With Eddie, sharing fries and milkshakes at Benny’s little dinner under the cover of Saturday night when there was no danger of bumping into anyone at school because they were all busy partying, you felt more like yourself than you had in a very long time.

And the Saturday night diner dates had morphed into lunchbreaks spent in the shadow of the bleachers or on the little clearing in the woods behind the sports field, hidden from prying eyes; into movie nights and hikes through the woods until one clear, cold night three months ago, Eddie had finally kissed you underneath the starry night sky outside of The Hideout after one of his gigs, his skin soaked with sweat and his voice hoarse from singing and playing the guitar all night. It had been the picture-perfect first kiss.

And one single kiss had turned into many.

Stolen kisses in empty classrooms, fleeting touches and lingering glances in the hallways whenever the two of you passed by each other, heated make-out sessions on the couch of the trailer he shared with his uncle.

And the crush you’d been harboring for Eddie had turned into so, so much more.

Into love.

Not that giddy kind of infatuation of High School sweethearts, but actual love. The kind of love that had you plan your future together, far away from shallow-minded little Hawkins and its gossips.

But where movies and romance novels ended…real life went on.

It wasn’t enough anymore to share stolen kisses when nobody was looking, to see each other every day in class, the cafeteria, the hallways, so close yet parted by that invisible line neither of you had known how to cross – because as soon as the two of you set foot into Hawkins High, you were still a cheerleader. And Eddie was still The Freak.

Until, two weeks ago, the two of you had decided to end the secrecy and behave like every other couple at Hawkins High did.

You’d been prepared for the havoc the two of you would cause, the stares and whispers and bullying, but…you’d been tired of hiding. And you’d thought Eddie had been, too. That he was secretly scared you were ashamed of being with him, when all you wanted to do was shout it from the rooftops that you were in love with Eddie Munson.

That the reason Eddie had never made a move towards Third Base – and had gallantly thwarted all of your attempts to change that fact – had been rooted not only in his genuinely sweet, gentlemanly manners, but a deeper-rooted hurt about you still keeping your relationship hidden.  

But now, two weeks later, it was obvious that something was wrong.

Eddie was avoiding you. And with every step you tried to take to close this strange new distance between the two of you, it felt like he took three steps backwards. Away from you.

By the time Friday had arrived, the vague sense of doom which had started to grow in your chest over the past two weeks had grown into fully-fledged panic.

And you finally had enough of Eddie’s dancing around you.

It was a game day, the whole of Hawkins High a sea of orange and green as everyone sported the school’s colors in anticipation of the basketball game which would take place that evening. Everyone, except for the members of the Hellfire Club, you noticed with a small smile as you entered the cafeteria for lunch break. They’d donned their matching Hellfire shirts for their own game that night, the ones Eddie had designed a few months ago, on a paper napkin at Benny’s Diner.

With his messy dark curls long enough to brush his shoulders, the ripped jeans, the leather jacket and denim vest and rings, the tattoos decorating his skin, Eddie Munson always stuck out in a crowd – but today, in the sea of green and orange – from shirts to scrunchies, from banners to ribbons – he stuck out like a black swan in a pond full of white ones as he was lounging in his usual place at the head of the Hellfire Club’s table. The smile on your lips widened at the sight of him, gesticulating as he replied to something Mike had said. But the giddy feeling in your chest died and withered as realization crept back in that he’d been avoiding you the whole week. The whole past two weeks.

A group of sophomore girls walked past you, a few of them glancing at your cheerleader uniform with various expressions of timidness and awe, and you gave them a little smile as they passed.

Ever since you’d started dating Eddie, most people had stopped throwing you awning gazes and shy smiles in the hallways. Instead, there were now whispers trailing in your wake; some more hurtful than others, but that’s what you’d expected.

Four more months, and you were out of here. You both would be. Rid of ugly whispers and disgusted glances, of people treating you as if the stain dating Eddie The Freak Munson had left on your reputation was an infectious disease.

It hurt. Not because you cared what people thought about you – but because nobody outside of Hellfire seemed to see Eddie the way you did. They couldn’t look past the tattoos, the ripped denim and leather, the unkempt exterior, to see the heart of gold, all the sweetness and kindness underneath that shone from every single one of his radiant smiles.

The smile, though, was wiped from Eddie’s face as you walked towards the Hellfire Club table, the usual exhilarated mood at the table snuffed out like sunlight covered by rainclouds – the same rain clouds dimming the light in Eddie’s eyes when his gaze met yours.

It felt like a knife being plunged into your chest.

You’d hoped for him to give you one of his dazzling smiles when his eyes landed on you, to jump up and kiss you and whirl you around like he always did, but he stayed frozen in place, still as one of his D&D figurines as he watched you approach with a mix of surprise and…something else. Something you couldn’t quite decipher. It scared you.

The silence which had settled over the Hellfire Club’s table seemed to grow more tense when you came to stand beside Eddie, your weary smile into the group, at Gareth and Jeff and Dustin and Mike, answered by uneasy sideways glances flitting between you and Eddie, whose expression had turned into an unreadable mask so unlike him it hurt.

“Eddie, can we talk?”, you said quietly, fiddling with the hem of your cheerleader skirt just to give your hands something to do.

Eddie didn’t even look at you as you uttered the words. His eyes scanned the assembled crowd in the cafeteria, the sideways glances thrown your way, before he said, “Yeah. Sure. Outside?”

Up until now, there had been this tiny sliver of hope that it had all been a misunderstanding. That all your deep, dark fears of losing Eddie, nourished by these past days of sudden radio silence until the tender saplings of anxiety had grown into weeds threatening to suffocate you from within, were irrational, that Eddie’s sudden distance could be rooted in a harmless, reasonable explanation. A misunderstanding.

That if you called him out on it, it would turn out you’d just been paranoid. But judging by his reaction now, it was obvious that wasn’t the case.

Your heart seemed to cease its beating, to freeze over and plummet to the floor all at the same time as, like caught in a trance, you followed Eddie out of the cafeteria and into the silence of the abandoned hallway outside. He didn’t take your hand like he usually did. Didn’t press a delicate kiss to your cheek or your knuckles, didn’t play with the green satin ribbon in your hair matching the cheerleader uniform. Didn’t pull you into a spontaneous little dance, twirling you until your head was spinning and tears of laughter ran down your face.

The air between the two of you was frozen like Lover’s Lake in December when he came to a halt, the silence of the abandoned corridor around you suffocating as Eddie finally turned to face you. It was strange, so utterly unfamiliar to see that there was not a single spark of the usual humor, the usual gentle warmth in his dark eyes as he looked at you now.

“Shouldn’t you be at cheerleader training rehearsing for the game?”, he asked, his voice as hollow as his gaze.

“There are more important things than cheerleader training,” you began, voice softening as you took a tentative step closer to him and added, “Eddie, talk to me. Please. You’ve been avoiding me for two weeks now. And…and I need to know what’s wrong.”

The way Eddie shrunk back from you when you reached out to grasp his hand hit you like a punch to the gut.

“Did I do something wrong?”, you said quietly, letting your hand fall to your side.

Something in your voice, in your eyes, though, snapped Eddie out of this strange detached state, and with a shaky sigh, he pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes squeezed shut as if he was in pain.

And it dawned on you that you’d already lost him.

“I’m…I’m sorry,” he breathed, his own voice choked with emotions, “But this doesn’t work.”

“What –“

“This,” he exclaimed, waving at the space between the two of you, “It doesn’t work. You’re a cheerleader, and I’m a freak. And I’m tired of playing pretend.”

“Don’t,” you said quietly, voice strained to its breaking point with the lump that was forming in your throat, the tears stinging in your eyes and threatening to spill because you knew, could feel where this conversation was heading. It felt like being strapped to a train hurtling towards a glaring abyss. “Don’t call yourself that, Eddie.”

“But it’s true. I’m a freak. And avoiding to say it doesn’t change it. I’m tired of pretending I could be more than the guy tagging along with you through a little phase of rebellion before you tire of him and settle down with one of the Steve Harringtons of this world.” He drew out Steve’s name into a lilt, his voice dripping with disdain.

You reeled back. “Tell me that’s not what you think.”

“It’s what I know.”

Anger started rising in your chest now, mingling with the panic and pain already churning there like a maelstrom threatening to drag you under.

“What you know,” you echoed, voice trembling. “When did I ever give you a reason to believe that, Eddie? When?”

“You’re a cheerleader.” The way he said it, as if that was all there was to you…it made you sick.

“So, a pair of pompoms and a short skirt determine my personality? You, of all people, should know not to judge a book by its cover. And especially not a book you’ve already read.” It came out as a whisper as you tried to swallow back the tears.

“That’s…that’s not what I’m saying.”

“Then what are you saying, Eddie?”

Don’t. Please don’t do this.

Your tongue couldn’t form the desperate plea your heart was screaming at him.

With his voice so uncharacteristically quiet and detached, Eddie said, “I’m saying good-bye.”

There was a shellshocked daze clouding your senses as your body went numb, the sensation spreading from your chest to your fingertips as you waited to wake up with sweat-soaked sheets tangled around your legs and the relief of knowing this, right now, had just been a horrible dream and that Eddie would be waiting at your front door to pick you up for school with that beautiful smile on his lips.

The shrill sound of the bell piercing the silence of the hallways to announce the end of lunch break was dulled in your ears, a scratch at the edge of your perception.

It was curious, how the shattering of a heart didn’t make a single sound when it could be felt so clearly, caused a pain that ran deeper than any blade could pierce.

There was no time for you to react, to beg him to tell you what had happened in the span of a few days to end things like this.

The hallways flooded with people leaving the cafeteria for their afternoon classes, and Eddie was gone.

Walking away down the hallway, the familiar sight of the DIO patch on his denim vest and dark curls fading into the sea of orange and green as he walked away from you.

Just like that.

***

You didn’t remember how you’d gotten to the bathroom, or how long you’d been cowering in the stall, on the dirty, grimy tiles, hugging your knees as sobs ripped through you, the numbness in your body fading as pain took over.

Real, physical pain in your chest, as if your heart had actually shattered into a million tiny shards that were now scraping at your insides, tearing you open while the damn tears wouldn’t stop falling.

Eddie was your first love, your first everything.

And part of you had always – foolishly – clung to the belief that things would always stay that way. That Eddie Munson wouldn’t be your first heartbreak, too. That the plans you’d made for the future would become reality.

You couldn’t figure out what had happened.

Did it even matter, if something had happened? Was that better than Eddie simply falling out of love?

***

“You’re a fucking idiot.”

Eddie’s head snapped up at the sudden sound, and a sigh escaped him as he saw Dustin, hands on his hips as he was standing in the doorway to the room Hellfire shared with the theatre club. The boy’s expression in the shadow of his cap was a mix of shock and anger.

“You’re not even going to argue?”, Dustin challenged.

“Would you go away if I did?”, Eddie replied. His voice was meek and coarse from crying. He was tired. So fucking tired and miserable.

“I won’t go anyway. I heard what you said to her.”

“You spied on me?”

“A High School hallway isn’t exactly a place for private conversation,” Dustin quipped, locking his hands in front of his chest now. The kid definitely needed to get his ego in check.

“Dustin –“ Eddie began, but the boy was already stalking towards him with a grim determination on his face as he said, “No. Let me speak. I’m pretty sure you already know what I’m about to say. Hear me out. You’re a fucking fool. You know why? The sweetest, prettiest girl of Hawkins High gave you her heart, and you threw it away because you’re so deep in your little bubble of moping and whining…about what? That she obviously loves you?”

“She never said that.”

Dustin threw his hands in the air, clearly exasperated now. “Did you? Did you ever say it to her?”

There was a pause as Eddie stared at Dustin, before the boy went on, “That’s what I thought. Why do you think she loves you, huh? For your popularity? Your good grades? Your flowery smell?”

“I get it Henderson, thank you. No need to rub it in.”

“No, you don’t get it and that’s the problem. Are you a Jason Carver? A Patrick McKinney? A Steve Harrington? No!”

“I’m already literally on the floor already,” Eddie said quietly, lacking the strength to even feel indignant, “Why do you keep kicking me, kid?”

“You’re an Eddie. And that’s your selling point! The girl took a single look at you, in all your weird glory, all revved up and jumping tables and selling drugs –“

“Wait, how do you –“

“You carry that stuff around in your lunchbox. Do you think she didn’t know there would be gossip and bullying? She did, of course she did! Yet she took one look at you, at Eddie The Freak, and decided you were worth all that trouble.”

“You don’t even know what happened,” Eddie muttered, raking a trembling hand through his curls. “You don’t know what people are saying –“

“You’re the one who taught me to not be bullied into giving up what I love and now you’re sitting here, hiding and moping around after doing exactly that. You threw her away like the notes for a failed D&D campaign. Or did you really think you were letting her go because you’re such a hero? You’re not a hero, you’re a coward. You’re running away. And while it’s okay to run away from danger or graduation or whatever, it’s really fucking stupid to run away from someone who loves you.” Dustin paused, letting his words sink in, before he added, “If I were you, I’d be on my knees and begging for her to forgive your utter and devastating stupidity and take you back. So…” Dustin cleared his throat, straightening his spine as he stared down at Eddie, who was still miserably cowering amid the scenery for the theatre club’s next piece, “Eddie The Freak. Get up from the floor, wipe your eyes, blow your nose, and get your girl back.”

With these words still hanging in the air, Dustin turned to leave, but Eddie’s voice rang out to hold him back.

“Henderson. Wait.”

Dustin turned, watching as Eddie slowly climbed back to his feet. Taking a steadying breath, he righted his leather jacket and he raised his chin, before he announced, “You need to tell the others that Hellfire’s cancelled tonight.”

“Wa –“

“There’s a goddamn important balls-and-laundry-baskets game I need to attend.”

Eddie could only hope it wasn’t too late already.

***

You’d never been so miserable in your life like you felt right now, dancing and jumping and smiling that wide fake smile as your muscles went through the movements of the choreography like a sleepwalker.

The cheers and voices in the gym blurred like the faces around you as every second made it harder to fight back the tears threatening to spill all over again.

You didn’t need to be a genius to know you were walking the flimsy tightrope over the abyss of a mental breakdown.

You only needed to get through the next two hours.

And then you could break down and cry your soul out.

Two hours.

“Watch your step!”, the hiss of one of the other cheerleaders tore you from your thoughts as you spun just in time to avoid bumping into her, your mind catching up with the steps of the choreography just in time to correct the little misstep and twirl – and time froze for a few heartbeats as your eyes locked on a pair of umber ones, staring back at you from the entrance to the gym.

He was standing in the shadow of the bleachers, hair tousled and hands shoved into the pockets of his ripped jeans as he watched you, the ghost of a sad little smile tugging at his lips that made him look like a lost puppy.

And despite all the hurt and heartbreak, despite the cruel things he’d said, your stupid little heart leapt in your chest like a bird in the confinements of its cage, ready to burst free and flutter right into his hands.

In the months since the two of you had started dating, Eddie Munson had never, not once, attended one of the “balls-and-laundry-baskets games” since they always took place on Fridays, at the same time as Hellfire Club, and it was sacrilegious to ever postpone Hellfire – but now here he was. And he was watching you the way only Eddie had ever looked at you. Not simply looking at you, but seeing you.

His gaze left that familiar prickling sensation in its wake on your skin you couldn’t get enough of as your surroundings blurred like watercolors because the only thing that mattered right then, the only thing that ever mattered, was that Eddie was here.

It took a few heartbeats for your senses to snap back to reality, for you to realize that the music had stopped and cheers rose all throughout the room as you struck the final pose, applause following as the cheerleaders of Hawkins High left the field to make room for the game which would start any minute now.

But as you walked with the others towards the spot at the edge of the field reserved for the cheerleaders, you couldn’t wait a single second longer.

You needed to know why Eddie was here.

A few of the other cheerleaders threw you dirty glances as you broke formation, pompoms still clutched in your hands, and raced along the bleachers towards the exit, heart racing and mind going a mile a minute.

But the blind spot between the exit and the bleachers was empty when you reached it. Eddie was gone.

The applause rising in the gym at your back rang in your ears in time with your racing heart as you darted out of the building and onto the parking lot.

Night had fallen already, and the soft drizzle from earlier had turned into a full-blown spring storm pelting down on you, biting the bare skin on your arms and legs as you squinted into the rain-soaked darkness, scanning the parking lot for the familiar sight of Eddie’s rusty old van.

It was still there, parked at the edge near the fence separating the premises of Hawkins High from that of the Middle School. Which meant Eddie was still around somewhere.

Not caring about the freezing rain, you raced towards the old van, weaving between the rows and rows of parked cars filling the for now abandoned space as the shrill noise of a whistle seeped out of the gym to fill the night, the noise of cheers, but you couldn’t care less about the game.

Just as you reached Eddie’s van, moving to squint through the driver’s side window to see if he was inside, someone called out your name. The voice was so beautifully familiar, the cadence like a melody you knew by heart, its soft lilt your favorite tune in the world as your heart soared and plummeted to the ground like a stone at the bottom of a well all at the same time.

You whirled around, coming face to face with Eddie.

He was absolutely soaked.

His mess of dark curls was plastered to his pale face in wet tangles, and rain was dripping into his face, running down his cheeks like tears as he held your gaze and stammered, “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you –“

“What are you doing?”, you cut him off. The words came out harsher than you’d intended for them to sound, but…you couldn’t help it.

He looked like a lost puppy as he watched you with those damn doe eyes, wide with a silent plea. “I didn’t want to interrupt, I just…I wanted to see you,” he replied quietly, “And that was stupid because you obviously don’t wanna see me right now, I get that, I really do. So, uh…I decided to just wait here until after the game and…talk to you.”

He’d started fiddling with the rings on his fingers. Like he always did when he was nervous.

“I thought you already said everything you needed to,” you said.

It was getting more difficult to hold back the tears with every second.

“Fuck,” Eddie breathed, rubbing a hand over his face, fingers carding through the rain-soaked curls plastered to his forehead – and it was the familiarity of this nervous little gesture that finally broke the dam.

The tears started falling down your face to mingle with the cold rainwater, and your vision blurred as Eddie cooed, sounding as desperate as you felt, “No, no, no, no, please don’t cry, sweeth- please don’t cry, okay?”

“What else am I supposed to do?!”, you shot back, your voice already breaking like your heart had.

You wiped your eyes with the back of your hands, the stupid pompoms you were still clutching tickling your face, before Eddie gently pried your hands away from your face, taking the pompoms from you so you could swipe at the tears and the rain on your cheeks.

The gesture was so tender, so Eddie, that the tears only started to fall harder.

“I was stupid”, Eddie breathed, eyes on yours, pleading, “Really goddamn fucking stupid. Because I got scared.”

“Of what?”, you whispered.

“Of this.” Eddie waved the pompoms between the two of you. Under different circumstances, it would have been hilarious, seeing Eddie the metalhead absolutely soaked like a cat that got lost in the rain gesture heatedly with a pair of wet pompoms.  

“Of…of not being enough,” he finished, taking a trembling breath that told you he was barely holding back his own tears. His bottom lip was trembling when he added, “I…I’ll wait here. Go back to your game and I’ll wait here and if you decide to hear me out – and I know I don’t deserve a single goddamn second more of your time but I’m begging you to grant it anyways – then I’ll be right here, ‘kay?”

The pouring rain was the only noise filling the deafening silence which settled over the two of you as Eddie waited for your reply.

And while your heart screamed at you to break the silence, to take his hand and tell him to never let you go again…your head told you not to.

He’d hurt you. He’d been the reason why you’d cried your heart out at the floor of the High School bathroom for the past few hours.

“I gave you my heart,” you whispered, “And you took it and smashed it on the floor of that fucking hallway. And then you left me there. Without any explanation. Just like that.”

It was hard to speak through the force of your tears choking you, the pouring rain all around drowning out your frail voice.

“Nothing has changed in the past hours, Eddie. I’m still a cheerleader. I’ve always been a cheerleader, and you’ve always been a freak. It was you who started to reduce us to that. It was you who made clear that I’ll be the one to break your heart while you were just doing the exact same thing with mine. That’s not fair. And I didn’t deserve that.”

And with tears falling down your face in hot rivulets that mingled with the cold rain, you turned to go back inside. You didn’t even have the strength to grab your pompoms back from him. It didn’t matter, you couldn’t go back to the game anyways, to cheering with a smile when you were soaked and freezing and numb and sobbing, with your breaking heart that was still screaming at you to stop and run back into his arms.

“I love you.”

Eddie’s words, spoken with such quiet fervor, froze you in your tracks.

“That night you walked into the diner for milkshakes and we first talked? It wasn’t just a lucky coincidence,” Eddie said, his voice nearly breaking underneath the force of his own emotions. “I…At the start of the school year, last summer, I got the bats tattoo.” You could hear the soft rustle of fabric as he raised his arm, clad in the sleeve of his leather jacket, but you didn’t have the strength to turn around yet, to look into those big brown eyes that would bring you to your knees.

“I doodled these bats on my chemistry homework a few days before that and I decided they looked metal so I got them tattooed and the next day in class – you were sitting beside me that day – you told me the bat tattoo was bitchin’,” Eddie went on. You didn’t need to see his face to know his own tears had started falling. “You told me that you’d seen me doodle them the other day and it was cool I got them tattooed and I was, like, a hundred percent sure you were poking fun of me. I waited for you to say something mean because that’s what people always do and you were a goddamn cheerleader and I was actually kinda scared out of my mind of you. But you didn’t mock me or laugh at me or call me a freak. You smiled. Really, genuinely smiled. And I never recovered from that.” He laughed; a low, disbelieving laugh as you felt your own tear-soaked smile tug at your lips as you remembered that day.

“I thought it was the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen,” Eddie continued, “Like sunshine. I started watching you after that day. At lunchbreak, class, in the hallways…it was so annoying. Because there was no way you’d ever talk to me again. Like, no way. Zero chance. But that grip you had on me ever since that day was insane. Like, you probably could have asked me to join the cheer squad and I wouldn’t have hesitated a single. Goddamn. Second. To put a ribbon in my hair and start cheering for Jason fucking Carver if you’d asked me to.”

His low, incredulous little laugh floated through the air.

Your favorite sound in the world.

And a broken little laugh ripped free from your own in response, mingling with more tears as your heart fluttered in your chest, with love and…hope.

“And when I saw your car in that diner’s parking lot six months ago,” Eddie went on, having a hard time speaking through his own tears, “I knew if I left that goddamn High School without shooting my shot and finally talking to you, I’d be the most stupid fucking dumbass in history. Going in there, walking up to you and saying hi was the one brave thing I ever did.”

Eddie paused, swallowing back his tears before he added, “And leaving you there in that cursed hallway today was the most stupid thing I ever did. So…I guess what I’m trying to say, what I’ve been trying to say for a while now but have been too chicken to actually say is…I love you, Y/N. I love you with all my cynical heart. And I’m sorry.”

In the rain-soaked silence that followed, you finally turned around to face him.

Eddie’s eyes, these beautiful dark eyes, were set on you, blinking against the rainwater running from his soaked hair and down his face, the tears in his eyes. He’d never looked so lost and desperate as he did right now, in the pouring rain, waiting for your reply.

“I was scared as well,” you said softly.

He tilted his head. “Of – of me?”

“You got a reputation as cult leader, satanist, freak and drug dealer. But you were always doodling stuff in your books and on your notes and I spent whole classes just watching you doodle. It always looked so cool. And I remember the day you doodled the Hellfire logo and showed up with the shirt a week later and I was so intrigued by that, the passion you put into the things you were doing. Drawing, D&D. Guitar. I saw you design your band’s logo as well. I felt like a weirdo, staring at you like that during classes,” you added with a soft chuckle, “But honestly, I couldn’t look away. You were sitting right in front of the window in Mrs. O’Donnell’s class, and the lighting always painted your hair in different shades. On rainy days it was ink-black, like the sharpie you used to draw. When it was sunny, it was all shades of chocolate. And you always smile when you’re drawing, that sweet small concentrated smile while you’re poking out your tongue. That was when I knew that the guy beside me in English Lit wasn’t the same menacing freak people made him out to be. And I was drawn in. And when I saw you got those bats tattooed, I shot my shot. You grinned, the most dazzling grin …and you never talked to me again until that night we met at Benny’s diner.”

For a heartbeat, there was only the pitter-patter of rain as you stared at each other, all the unspoken things hanging in the air between you until you finally broke underneath their weight.

“But what if you get scared again?”, you choked out. You weren’t sure Eddie would even hear your frail voice against the downpour of the rain pelting down on the asphalt, the parked cars, but he had.

The sad-looking, rain-soaked pompoms still clutched in his hands like a lifeline, Eddie sank down onto his knees, right in the middle of the parking lot in the pouring spring rain, utterly soaked and lost, and his eyes never left yours as he said, “Please, let me explain. Not rationalize, just…just explain. Five minutes. And then you can…you can leave, slap me, strangle me, whatever is it you wanna do.”

The sight of Eddie, kneeling on the wet asphalt of the parking lot, blinking against the rain that was dripping from the wet mess of his curls plastered to his face as he stared up at you, the plea in his huge dark eyes, the holding the soaked pompoms front of his chest…it was just so Eddie that the wave of affection overwhelmed you, stealing the words right off your tongue.

You gave him a curt nod, locking your arms in front of your chest as you waited for him to explain himself.

“In these two weeks since we stopped sneaking around, people have been horrible,” Eddie began. “It’s painted a target on your back. You never said anything about it but you didn’t need to because I know how most of the other cheerleaders have started treating you. That your friends stopped inviting you to parties…and the reason why you’re on this crashing downfall is me. And the thing is…maybe they’re right. Maybe I don’t deserve to be with you. Maybe I’ll never be good enough. Just…what do I have to give you? It’s my third attempt at goddamn graduation. Shit, I’m selling drugs. I’m a weirdo. And you…you’re beautiful, and kind, and you’re insanely clever. And…what kind of future do I have to give you, other than some tiny, crappy apartment and milkshakes at an even crappier diner for date night? You deserve someone who can give you all the fancy stuff in the world that you deserve. Someone you can kiss in public without people being disgusted. Someone who’s not me. Someone who’s not a freak.” There was so much venom in his voice as he spat that word, so much bitterness and disdain.

And just like that, everything made sense.

Eddie hadn’t left because he didn’t want to endure the bullying and gossip and whispers any longer.

He’d left because he actually believed them.

He believed that he wasn’t enough.

He believed the bullies, with their cruel jabs and their nicknames and their vile gossip, were right.

Because…if you’re being told the same thing over and over again, all your life…of course you start to believe it.

“God, Eddie,”, you breathed. “I’m…first of all, these people talking shit about us are not my friends. They’ve never been. You are. You’re my best friend in the world. And instead of just talking to me about the things bothering you, you just started to shut me out. No explanation, nothing. Because if you’d bothered to tell me about what’s going on with you, I could have told you that…that you’re all I want. That crappy little apartment with you is all I want. Milkshakes at some shitty diner are all I want. Because it’s with you. I don’t care about fancy stuff or gossips as long as the person beside me is you. Nothing else matters, and nothing else will ever matter. I love you, Eddie. And I’m sorry it’s so hard for you to see why.”

You’d crossed the distance between the two of you, standing right beside his van now.

There was a heartbeat of silence as the two of you stared at each other. Beneath the soaked strands of his hair, the dark chocolate brown of his curls turned into midnight black by the rain, Eddie’s dark eyes were brimming with tears as they rested on you.

“You…you love me?”, he breathed, his voice trembling, barely audible over the noise of the downpour.

He sounded incredulous. Bewildered.

It tore your heart to ribbons, to realize Eddie truly didn’t see how anyone could be in love with him when he deserved all the love in the world.

He must have seen the answer in your eyes already – because he didn’t wait for your reply.

Eddies hands came up to cradle your face before his lips crashed on yours in a kiss so desperate and fierce that it made the parking lot, the rain, the whole world around you blur as each and every one of your senses came alive to narrow in on Eddie.

On the feeling of his lips against yours, his thumbs brushing away the droplets of rain and tears streaming down your face as he gently angled your head to deepen the kiss, pressing closer while your fingers buried in the mess of his soaked curls at the nape of his neck to draw the softest of moans from his throat.

“I’m sorry,” Eddie breathed into the kiss, his lips chasing yours, “I’m so fucking sorry, sweetheart. I’m not gonna run again. I promise.”

You knew he meant it. With all his heart.

Your hands buried in his soaked curls, you pulled him closer, and Eddie obliged happily, pressing himself against you while your back thudded against the hood of his van.  

One of his hands roamed down your waist, to your thigh, as he helped you sit on the metal of the hood, not caring for the rain soaking your skirt as you wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him closer, and the sweetest noise tumbled from Eddie’s lips as you bucked your hips against his, your crotch meeting the growing bulge in his pants to make him groan into the kiss as his tongue grazed your bottom lip.

You didn’t care about the pouring rain or the hard metal of the van’s hood beneath you. Nothing else mattered but Eddie’s lips on yours, his arms around you.

The cold of the spring night was melted away by the heat of Eddie’s body pressed against yours, the blissful burning sensation his kisses sent through you.

His arm snaked around you, hand settling on the back of your head to support your weight as the other slipped underneath the soaked shirt of your cheerleader uniform, fingertips drawing small circles on your wet skin as his tongue danced over yours, his intoxicating taste of chocolate and the faintest trace of cigarettes mingling with the rain and the salt of your tears invading your senses and sending your mind spinning like sparkling, frizzing champagne injected straight in your veins – only better. So, so much better.

Intoxicating and dizzying in all the ways only Eddie ever could make you feel.

With each kiss, so ravenous and greedy and gentle and sweet all at the same time, Eddie was placing all the pieces of your heart back together, mending what he’d broken.

Rain and darkness became your guardians, shielding you from the cruel, prying eyes of the rest of the world as you sunk into Eddie’s arms, rolling your hips against his with more vigor this time, and his answering groan, vibrating through your own body to stoke the embers glowing in your core into flames, drifted into the rain-filled dark of the parking lot.

The sodden skirt of your uniform had ridden up with the movement, and Eddie’s hand left your waist to roam down, exploring the side of your thigh, fingertips warm against your cold skin as he started to toy with the waistband of your panties, thumb hooking around the fabric as you pressed closer in a silent plea for him to follow through and remove the damn thing –

“Wait,” Eddie breathed, pulling away to assess you, and concern took over his expression.

“We need to get you somewhere warm before you catch your death out here,” he said softly – and only then did you realize you were, indeed, shivering. Tremors were racing through your body as the freezing spring-rain soaked through the fabric of your cheerleader uniform, running down the bare skin of your arms, your legs, plastering the fabric to your body and settling on your skin with biting intensity.

“Oh,” you replied, mind still caught up in the blissful haze of his kisses.

But when Eddie moved to gently pull you down from the hood of his van, back towards the gym with him, you called out softly, “No. I don’t want to go back in there right now.”

Eddie tilted his head, confusion still written across his features before his eyes lit up with an idea. “Then the van it is. Come on, sweetheart. Gotta warm you up.”

“You did a pretty good job with that already,” you teased as Eddie ripped open the doors at the back of the van, helping you climb inside with a gallant little bow before following you, pulling the doors shut to lock the two of you in the peaceful solitude of the car.

The band equipment which was usually occupying the cargo space was gone, leaving room for the two of you.

Eddie knelt in front of you as you sat, already grabbing one of the scratchy old wool blankets stacked in the back he usually used as padding to keep the band’s equipment safe from his maniacal driving style.

“C’mere,” he said softly, unfolding the blanket as he scooted closer, and your heart fluttered happily in your chest at the tenderness with which he wrapped the blanket around your shoulders, using the edges to gentle swipe at the mix of rain and drying tears on your cheeks, drawing a soft smile from you before you grabbed a second blanket.

“Your turn,” you instructed, gesturing for Eddie to shrug off the sodden combination of denim vest and leather jacket. The shirt beneath was plastered to his chest, and you inched closer to put the blanket around his shoulders, carding your fingertips through the wet strands of his bangs falling into his forehead – and Eddie reached out to gently catch your wrist.

“Are we…”, he began but drifted off timidly, and sadness flooded his umber eyes, as if he were scared to voice the question dangling in the air between the two of you.

He swallowed, gathering his courage underneath your own soft gaze before he said quietly, “Do you still want me?”

Affection washed over you at the anxiety in his gaze, the soft tremble of his bottom lip, and you gently freed your wrist from his grasp to lace your fingers with his.

“You’ve always been the only one I wanted, Eddie Munson.”

The smile on his lips was radiant, dazzling, warming you from within as he slowly pulled you towards him, onto his lap, his hands leaving yours to settle on your hips beneath the blanket wrapped around your shoulders like a cape, the warmth of his palms seeping through the sodden fabric of your shirt.

And with an intensity in his dark eyes that burned right through you in all the best ways, Eddie murmured, “I’m a goddamn dumbass.”

“You are,” you agreed with a soft giggle, “But you’re my goddamn dumbass.”

“Where were we?”, he grinned, nuzzling your nose, that radiant smile still on his lips.

But you bit your lip, scanning his face, before you timidly asked, “Is that why we didn’t…make it to Third Base yet?”

The little wince in reply didn’t escape your notice, but before your heart could sink again, he said, “At first, I wanted to take things slow and do it right and be a gentleman.”

“And then?”

“Then I got scared. Because…I’ve never, you know. I was scared senseless I’d do something wrong. I’m…I’m not confident. I’m just really good at playing pretend. I mean, I’m confident when I play D&D or my guitar but I feel like these are the only two things I’m actually good at so…”

He drifted off again, averting his gaze.

Your hands came up to cup his cheeks, and you gently tilted his head to make him meet your gaze before you murmured, “What happened in those two weeks, Eddie?”

He meekly shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to fight his tears, and your heart bled for him – and raged, about all the bullying and the cruelties he must have had to endure for them to lodge as deep as they obviously had.

“You can tell me,” you pleaded softly. “You know you can tell me, right?”

You could tell he was fighting the tears, the shame – and had you been able to set fire to the whole damn town for treating him like this, making sweet, caring, kind Eddie believe the ugly, vile things they were whispering about him, you would have burned this whole Hellhole to the ground.

“You also know you don’t have to tell me,” you added, brushing away a few soaked curls from his cheeks. “You can tell me when you’re ready. Okay?”

He gave you a curt nod, swallowing against the lump in his throat.

And into the silence which followed, filled by the soft pitter-patter of the rain on the van’s roof, you placed the softest, delicate kiss on his cheek before you breathed, “I love you, Eddie Munson. For the way you light up every room with your smiles and your laugh. For seeing people, instead of just looking at them. For choosing kindness when it would be easier to just be rude. For caring about all the lost little sheepies.” Your words coaxed a timid little smile from his as he watched you, your fingertips playing with the sodden dark curls framing his face, “For caring. For being unapologetic and yourself even if you don’t think you’re brave, because sadly, being yourself in a world like ours and a town like Hawkins is the bravest thing one could do. And for giving others the courage to do the same. For giving me the courage to do the same.”

“Chances are,” he quipped, that tender smile playing on his lips, “That no matter how weird you are, I’ll still be the weirdest one in the room.”

You chuckled softly, before your expression grew stern once more. “I mean it. I love you, for more reasons than there are raindrops falling outside. And I’m sorry people don’t care enough to look at you, because if they did, they’d love you just as much as I do, Eddie Munson.”

“I don’t care if people love me,” he breathed, leaning closer, his lips hovering over yours, “I only care that you do. Nothing else matters.”

And his lips captured yours.

The kiss was sweet, slower than the ones you’d shared in the rain, yet it had lost none of its fierceness.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as you buried your fingertips in his curls once more, relishing the low moan the motion coaxed from Eddie’s lips, the sensation of his soft, soaked strands gliding through your fingers, rainwater running down your palms as you sunk into the kiss.

And with each movement of his lips against yours, you could feel his doubts melting away alongside your own.

Something had changed, in the way he touched you, you realized.

Something you hadn’t consciously realized had been there before.

Where the caress of Eddie’s hands had been restrained by hesitation before, it had grown bold. Where his kisses had been careful, as if he’d always feared to do something wrong, to overstep and scare you away, there was no more holding back now.

It was like a dam had broken, and you happily let the tide sweep you away, immerse you in the way his hands roamed over your sides, slipped beneath your cheerleader uniform to explore every inch of you, painting gentle patterns on your wet skin like he used to draw his little doodles into his books.

You could feel him smile into the kiss as you uttered the softest of moans when he drew his fingernails up your spine, making you arch your back and roll your hips against his, the already soaked spot on your panties rubbing just right against the tent in his pants, and the shudder running through Eddie made the heat in your core blaze just as much as the sensation did.

“I need you,” you whispered, “If – if you want –“

“God, you have noooo idea how much,” Eddie cut you off with a soft chuckle – one that morphed into a sweet groan as you rolled your hips against his again as he eagerly met your movement with a buck of his own hips, his teeth gently grazing your lips as his hands roam down to the outside of your thighs, dragging his nails over your feverish skin to leave trails of sparks in the wake of his touches, nerves flaring like sparklers as your body came alive beneath his hands.

And it felt like your heart would burst out of your chest with nerves and exhilaration and love and arousal as Eddie’s thumb hooked around the waistband of your panties for the second time that night.

“These need to go,” he breathed into the kiss – a question more than a statement, asking for permission – and you replied with an eager nod.

“Then get rid of them,” you crooned, the heat in your core, the need for him, putting a low rasp into your voice you’d never heard there before.

And with the sound of tearing fabric filling the rain-laced silence of the van, the panties were gone, and you pulled away from the kiss to gape at Eddie.

Who looked just as surprised as you did.

“I’m…sorry,” he said, the sudden timidness in his expression not quite matching the way his pupils were blow, the black nearly eclipsing the umber shade of his irises in the half-dark in the van’s back, the dim, murky light of the parking lot’s streetlamps seeping through the windshield shedding just enough light.

“Did you just rip my panties?”, you giggled, and the guilt in his eyes grew as he replied, “Uh. You wanted them gone.”

“That’s hot,” you grinned. “Very metal.”

His relieved exhale filled the air before he kissed you again, one hand coming up to the nape of your neck as his other hand dove underneath the hem of your cheerleader skirt once again, fingertips gently wandering up the inside of your thigh, painting burning trails of pleasure over the sensitive skin, and the filthy sound you made when his thumb gently flicked over that spot at the apex of your thighs where you needed him most made you gasp in surprise. But before you could pull away from the kiss, before you could even think of feeling embarrassed, Eddie crooned into the kiss, “That was hotter. I hope there’s more where that was coming from.”

You smiled against his lips, and another groan bubbled up your throat as he repeated the motion, the pad of his thumb drawing slow circles over your clit, spreading the wetness that was pooling between your legs – one which had nothing to do with the rain and everything with him.

“Is this good?”, he whispered.

Yes, you wanted to reply, so good. But the sensations of burning pleasure the caress of his thumb was sending through you was stealing the words from your tongue and every rational thought from your mind until there was nothing left but the raw, all-consuming need for more, more, more.

Eddie seemed to understand, though – and your hips moving in sync with the caress of his fingertips over your soaked heat, you angled your head to trail kisses along his jaw, down the column of his throat, inhaling his intoxicating scent of leather and cologne and him, of the rainwater soaking his beautiful dark curls while your hands wandered down to slip beneath the hem of his shirt, caressing the soft skin beneath and relishing the sounds your kisses, your touches, conjured from his lips like the sweetest melody in the world.

“God, sweetheart,” Eddie breathed, and the rasp in his voice, darkened by his own arousal, did nothing to quench the need burning in your core, “You’re so fucking perfect.”

“So are you,” you whispered against his neck, feeling him shudder softly with the sensation of your hot breath fanning over his skin as his fingertips worked you into blissful oblivion.

“I need you,” you rasped, fingertips travelling down towards the waistband of his jeans, following the soft line of his happy trail before you stilled above the buckle of his belt, waiting for his permission, and a smile curved your lips as his hands left their previous position to undo the belt and help you free him.

Your gaze locked on his as your hand wrapped around his throbbing length, a barely suppressed groan ripping from his throat…and a sudden fit of nervousness gripped you.

And of course, Eddie – attentive, gentle Eddie – didn’t even take a split second to see the flicker of nerves which must have crossed your gaze, because with overwhelming tenderness in his gaze, his hands came down to grasp yours, lacing your fingers as he whispered, “We don’t have to do this now, sweetheart. We got all the time in the world, ‘kay?”

“I want this,” you said, your voice more vehement than you’d intended for. “I want all of you, Eddie. And I don’t want to wait a second longer, so if it’s what you want, too…”

The smile lighting up Eddie’s face even in the half-dark was the sweetest one you’d ever seen, so filled with love and tenderness and devotion for you that it made your heart sing as he said, “I don’t think there’s ever been anything I wanted more than…not just that. Just…you.”

For a heartbeat, you just smiled at each other.

Perfectly at ease in each other’s presence, just like it was supposed to be, like it had always been before you’d stopped sneaking around those two weeks ago.

“There’s just one more thing I need to do first,” you said softly, climbing to your feet, hunched so you wouldn’t hit your head on the van’s roof as you felt for the little button embedded there, and a triumphant little huff escaped you as you turned on the small ceiling light before you positioned yourself back on Eddie’s lap, straddling him – and froze as you saw the utter terror in his expression.

“Eddie? What’s wrong?”, you inquired softly, tilting your head.

“I – I’d thought we’d be leaving that off,” he replied hollowly.

And for the first time, you felt gnawing, gut-wrenching insecurity.

“Don’t you…want to see me?”, you asked timidly, heat rising in your cheeks, but the terror in Eddie’s gaze grew as he blurted, “NO! I mean, yes! Jesus, yes! I want to see you. It’s…you don’t have to see me.”

The way he spoke the words in a broken whisper, shattered you all over again.

Because it dawned on you what he might have heard in the course of his life to warrant such raging insecurity. In the course of the past two weeks. You could imagine it too vividly.

And your heart bled for him all over again.

“I don’t know how anyone could ever have perceived you as anything else,” you said quietly, taking his face in your hands, a silent plea for him to look at you, “But you’re beautiful, Eddie. Not just handsome, not just hot, but beautiful.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but you cut him off when you fiercely added, “Like, that was the first thing I thought when I saw you for the first time, in Mrs. O’Donnell’s class. The only seat that was free was the one beside you and you looked at me with those stunning dark eyes and I was so, so nervous because I’d never seen you up close before and my heart plummeted three stories into the damn basement when I did because I knew I’d have the hardest time of my life not to ogle you like some creep. I mean, I did,” you snickered, “But very subtle.”

“You did?”

“God, yes. I memorized every detail. I’ll be getting my diploma in four weeks but I already graduated from the Eddie Munson Color Scheme School. I memorized the exact shades of your hair and the exact hue of your eyes before I ever told you the bat tattoo looked amazing. And I’m a little ashamed to tell you that my…my mind went a little bit into the gutter when I watched you draw your doodles, which, by the way, wasn’t about the doodles but your hands.”

There was a timid, bewildered little smile on Eddie’s soft lips as he watched you bite your lip.

“You…you’re not making that up?”, he inquired.

“The exact. Shade. Every little detail. It took me a week to memorize you better than I ever did my own damn reflection in the mirror so it’s safe to say I was crushing on you way before you started crushing on me.” Your expression softened as you placed a kiss on his cheek. “But I’ll turn the light off if you don’t want it. I just wanted you to know that whatever you heard…it was a lie. You’re beautiful, Eddie Munson. And maybe one day, I can help you see that, too.”

You made to rise from his lap and flip off the light, but Eddie’s hands grasped your waist, keeping you in place as he leaned in to kiss you.

And this time, there we no more interruptions. No more insecurities.

Just love.

“I love you, sweetheart” Eddie whispered into the kiss as he aligned himself with your entrance as you lifted your hips, heart racing with giddiness and love and the tiniest flutter of nerves – and with his beautiful umber eyes on yours, brimming with all the love mirrored in his voice, the tenderness of his touch as his free hand settled on your cheek, you slowly sunk onto him, burying him inside you, stretching you inch by tiny inch as you sunk down, breath hitching in your throat at the sensation, the tiny little sting of pain that didn’t escape his notice as he stilled. For a moment, worry took over his expression. “Wait, did – did that hurt?”

His voice was strained with a suppressed moan.

You were quick to shake your head. “No. Just a little sting. Don’t you dare stop,” you whispered with a smile.

You could sense how he wanted to protest, make sure you were okay when you were more than okay, and you met his lips in a kiss that was fierce enough to swallow all of his concerns as you settled in this new position. The sensation of him buried inside you knocked the air from your lungs and the strength from your body, delirious with the feeling of him as close as he could ever be, two pieces of a puzzle falling in place, and your eyes fluttered close with the flood of sensations.

“You good?”, Eddie asked, his fingertips caressing your cheeks, his voice strained with his arousal as he waited for you to adjust to him – and your mind went blank when you rolled your hips, your whole body turning into a live wire with the sensation bolting through your nerves, with Eddie’s blissed-out moan filling the interior of his van as he slowly rolled his hips to match your rhythm, his lips finding yours as his arms wrapped around you, your own hands burying in his mess of sodden curls.

It was better, so much better, than anything you’d ever imagined.

“Don’t stop”, you whispered as he gently thrust up, his hips snapping against yours, grazing that sweet spot deep inside of you to make you throw your head back as currents of pleasure zapped through your body, building this glowing, white-hot pressure in your core with each thrust.

“God, you feel so good,” Eddie murmured between moans. His breath prickled on your lips before he caught them in another kiss, open-mouthed and sloppy and sweet at the same time as you got lost in the moment, the raw, radiant bliss Eddie was making you feel, the sensation of your bodies melting together so perfectly, as if you were made for each other.

The sweet noises tumbling from his soft lips mingled with yours in-between kisses while his free hand began to trail your spine, the side of your neck, gently tilting your head to give him access to your throat. His teeth grazed the sensitive skin over your racing pulse as you cried out in pleasure at the throbbing ache building in your core, driving him deeper into your throbbing heat with each of his thrusts, each roll of your hips to match his pace, your heart pounding as fast as the rain still pelting down onto the van’s roof.

“I love you”, Eddie whispered, “I love you so much.”

The dark, rasping timbre of his voice engulfed your senses as his hand snaked beneath your skirt once more, fingertips dancing over your clit to draw the most sinful sounds from you with the skill you’d watched him play his beloved guitar so many times, building that glowing pressure in your core until you thought you’d burst with it.

With a final cry of pleasure, your climax washed over you, swept you away in a white-hot wave of bliss that made stars explode in your vision, your fingers tightening in his hair as you could feel him come undone alongside you at the feeling of your walls clenching around him, your name tumbling from his lips as he rested his forehead against yours.

There was only Eddie, buried deep inside you, making you feel as if you were flying as his hands found their way to your hips to help you lazily ride out your climaxes together.

And with the softest sigh bubbling from your lips, you collapsed against Eddie, face buried in the crook of his neck while his hands came up to caress the sides of your face, placing the softest kisses on the crown of your head as he murmured, a little timid all of a sudden, “Was…was that good for you?”

You raised your head to give him a blissful little smile, caught up in the daze of your afterglow. “God, this was so much better than good, Eddie.”

“Good,” Eddie grinned. “This…this was amazing. Like…I figured it would be amazing but this was…this was so much better than I even dreamed of and I dreamed of this, with you, more times than I’m comfortable admitting.” He let out a breathless chuckle of his own that mingled with your giggles.

He looked positively blissed. His curls, only just beginning to dry, were a wild mess, his pale cheeks dusted with a soft blush, and his umber eyes were wide, filled with so much joy and love that you felt a lump in your throat as he mirrored your grin with the most radiant, dazzling smile of his own.

“So, uh,” he grinned, nuzzling your nose, “I wanted to ask that over chocolate milkshakes at Benny’s diner but I figured now’s just as good a time as any, so…wanna go to prom with me?”

You reeled back, gaping at him. “Like, prom prom?”

“Um. Is there, like, more than one?”

The alarm in his eyes made you laugh. “No, I mean. You. Eddie Munson. Going to prom?”

“Well, since we’re official and the plan still stands to turn heel and get the Hell outta here together as soon as we get those diplomas, I thought I could just as well do something…weird for one night.”

You laughed, and Eddie joined in, his hand grasping yours to guide it to his lips, placing a delicate kiss on your knuckles.

“Uh, you didn’t reply yet. Getting a little nervous here, sweetheart.”

“Only if you attend in your best leather jacket.”

You could visibly see him deflate with relief at the thought of not having to wear an actual tuxedo, and your smile turned mischievous as you drawled, “And only if you help me pick out the dress you get to rip off of me afterwards.”

“That’s a deal I can live with,” he grinned, before his expression softened once more.

“I love you, sweetheart. And as long as you’ll have me…I’ll stay. Promise.”

-----

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[father-time-and-baby-new-year]

OFF WITH YOUR HEAD

PART 2 OF HEADS WILL ROLL

SYNOPSIS: Whenever school is in session, Eren will just keep finding new places to corner you.

PAIRING: BULLY! EREN x FEM! READER

DEDICATED TO: you guys, always you guys.

WARNINGS: unedited, slight dubcon, groping, degradation, bullying,

WORD COUNT: 2.4K

Gooooood Morning Paradis Birds! Remember to give a big round of applause to the football team for clutching the victory against reigning champion Marley High! We stay undefeated thanks to our excellent and hardworking team. Special shoutout to Captain Eren Yeager for guiding the team to another flawless victory-

You're half-heartedly paying attention to class, sleepily listening to the school announcements over the speaker until the mention of his name douses you like a shock of ice-cold water.

You can't catch the rest of the announcement because your class erupts into cheer, enthusiastically clapping their hands for the boy of the hour.

The only one not joining is you.

Eren's smile is brighter than 100 kilowatts. In the back of your mind, you wonder where he learned to smile like that. When his emotions became so practiced.

Mr.Berner tries to calm the kids down, especially Sasha who bangs on her desks and howls, creating even more hype and ruckus. The class, now in a chattier mode, excitedly breaks into little conversations.

"Man, thank god. That school is so pretentious, I'm glad we finally have something over them."

"Jeez, I know our team was good, but it's this good-?"

"-Bro, year of XXXX is stacked as fuck. It's literally never been this stacked before. We have a whole team of prodigies, it's insane-especially Eren. "

"Yepp. My dad went to Paradis too and he said shit like this never happened during his time. The academic comps were one thing, but these footballs wins? We're being put on the fucking map."

The announcements are still going on, but it's hard to hear over the noise. You're only able to catch the tail end, a useless tidbit about the word of the day.

pre·mo·ni·tion a strong feeling that something is about to happen, especially something unpleasant. Here is an example: "She had a premonition of imminent disaster" Have a good day folks, hope it's free of any premonitions!

Overhearing the unceasing praise of the boy who pinched your thighs until they bruise blue and purple was a little painful-but you were used to it. After all, he's putting Paradis on the map. Whatever the fuck that means.

While you didn't love sharing this class with him, he was seated far across the room and surrounded by a gaggle of friends. You might as well have been invisible, the way he did not acknowledge you. Maybe you should treat it as a small mercy.

Unwittingly, your eyelids grow heavy. You're sitting in the back of the class, no one would notice if you took a little nap right? Assured by the fact no one will notice, you lower your head into your folded arms and let your thoughts float.

You dream of vaguely nothing but shadows of smiles, tufts of dark hair, and the smell of the wind at sea until a noise confined to the shape of your name breaks the harmony.

"[y/n?]"

"[y/n?]"

You startle awake with pairs of eyes piercing their gazes at you. Swallowing thickly, you apologize to Mr.Berner who looks worried. He's a good teacher, and one of your favorites.

"I'm sorry Mr.Berner. I had a migraine so I laid my head down." You lie smoothly, with more grace than you knew you were capable of. Course, you could have just said you were taking an unprompted nap, but that would disappoint your lovely teacher.

He sighs, "Guess that can't be helped then. Go to the nurse ok?"

Bingo. The nurse was an understanding lady, she'd let you sleep the rest of the period off. You nod, and start to gather your materials, relieved the class' attention on you was beginning to dwindle.

"Wait, Mr.Berner, let me take her. What if she gets disoriented and falls in the hall?"

Fuuuuck. You should have known. You should have expected this because attached to the request dripping with faux concern was none other than the precious jewel of the kingdom. Eren's intrusion makes your peers perk up again at the scene unfolding in front of them.

You smile, lips tightly pressed, "I'll be fine. I don't want to distract anyone from the lesson and it's a short walk-

"It's still potentially dangerous.", Your teacher interrupts, pinching the bridge of the nose, "And while I'm completely surprised by Eren's sudden streak of altruism, he's right. Something could happen. He'll take you there safely."

A very convenient streak of altruism, all right. You think it over in your head, yeah the nurses' office is right down the hall, and once you're there, he'll leave. Sure, he'll taunt you but you can handle a few minutes worth of cruelty.

It's awkward getting up, and walking in front of the class while Eren props the door open like a gentleman. You know what a sharp contrast it must look like, you and him, you cowering into yourself, not meeting any eyes while he stands tall and confident.

"Do you have everything?" His tone is one of reassurance, and for the barest of the moments, feels too familiar. You know he's not being genuine right now, and for the first time, you question if he was genuine back then.

"You can hold onto my arm if you're too dizzy to walk." He says as you guys slip out of the classroom, purposefully a little too loudly. You hear coos from girls and a stray "She's so lucky!"

He must have heard it too, because he lowers his head to whisper into your ear, "Yeah, very lucky, aren't you?" Wisps of dark hair tickle your cheeks. You see the glint of tiny silver hoops and wonder when he had gotten his ears pierced. The illusion breaks and the performative charming prince's reassuring smile is replaced by a sneer.

"Didn't know you could lie like that, by the way. Some good girl you are if you're trying to ditch class like this." Fingers dig deep into your waist as he drags you along the empty hallway that seems to stretch on for miles.

Your breath gets stuck in your throat, "How did you know I was lying?"

Viridian eyes narrow, "I've seen you get migraines before." There's a knock on your heart. As if realizing he was talking about something far away ago, a vindictive edge laces into words pouring out of his mouth, "I bet you wanted this to happen, didn't you? Wanted to get us all alone."

He's trying to get a rise out of you, that much is obvious. So you ignore him to the best of your ability.

...which quickly proved to be futile, as you suddenly find your arm pinned to your back, and your front facing the nearest walls.

"I asked you a fucking question bitch." He's practically growling, "Fucking answer me."

If there was a world record for the shortest temper, best believe Eren Yeager will have collected that accolade too. He's getting too worked up, and you could definitely feel his harness poking the back on your ass, as he grinds into you.

You manage to crane your neck, wanting to have your face shoved into the wall, and then venomously spit out, "You're not looking for answers. You just want me to repeat whatever you think is true."

This position brings back flashbacks to the library when he caged you in against the bookshelves, and like then, he spins you around to face him quite abruptly.

His smile is full of sharp teeth, "No. I know I'm right."

You don't respond. He moves in closer, his breath fanning on your earlobes. Your body can't help but let an involuntary shudder, and you close your eyes, not wanting to see his pleased grin or the way the fluorescent light makes his hoops gleam like silver bullets.

One calloused finger flicks your nipple, "Do you want to know why I'm right?"

At your lack of response, the dark-haired boy rolls your nipple in between his fingers before pinching it painfully, eliciting a small whimper out of your fuckable lips. "N-no", you answer finally. You're wearing your thinnest bra because of the seasonal heat, and you can't help but regret that decision right now. The fact he's only paying attention to one of your nipples is driving you insane. Not that you want it, but you're so fucking sensitive right now. You struggle in his hold, causing him to hold you tighter, and by now his nails were probably embedded into your skin.

He chuckles at your honesty, rewarding you with a thick stripe of his tongue over the collared shirt of your uniform making you gasp. Did he just-, over your shirt too-, you look down and see a very visible wet spot.

Taking advantage of your distracted state, a eager hand snakes under your skirt until it settles in the middle of your panties. He licks your earlobe before speaking, his voice like ice under your heels.

"You were so fucking wet that day in the library while saying you hated me the entire time," he pauses as his fingers scissor you through your panties, as if to drive the message home, "About as wet as you are right now."

There's a wet spot there too, also caused by him. You crush your eyes shut, "Eren...please just take me to the nurse." You're not even struggling anymore, holding onto him out of your own accord, worried that if you don't hold onto anything-you'd fall on your knees.

The very headache you lied about having seemed not so non-existent after all.

Eren hooks his arms under the plush of your thighs, "Yeah. Of course, that's what I came to do, right?"

*

You had hoped you'd be granted a reprieve in the nurses' office but you'd forgotten that luck was never really in your favor. Because while you guys had entered the squeaky-clean office, the nurse was nowhere in sight.

Instead, a note sat on her desk in unassuming frilly cursive that Eren read with glee.

Sorry students! Minor emergency to take care of, and I'll be back by the middle of the next period. If you're badly hurt, see Mr.Ackerman in room 203. If not, just sit tight! Feel free to take up the beds.

Thank you,

Ms.Ral

Eren had turned to you with shining green eyes, "Since no one's here, I guess I'll have to keep you company. Don't want you to hurt yourself."

There was something claustrophobic about how Eren stood in front of the door as if to signify to get out of here, you had to get through him.

"Maybe I can get Mr.Ackerman..."

Eren's sudden bout of laughter makes you wince and retreat inside of yourself, "For what? A fake headache? You really wanna inconvenience him like that? Mr.Ackerman?"

You take slow steps backward until the back of your knees hit the school bed, making you stumble as you clumsily take a seat. Eren's been marching forward with every retreating step you took, and it's no surprise when he pushes you down the bed, strong hands on the side of your head, while his muscular legs force your thighs apart so he can settle himself in between.

"We have some time to kill, you know." Strands of dark hair fall into his eyes, and without thinking, you reach upwards to brush them aside.

He grips your wrist before you make it that far, nearly gritting out a "What are you doing?"

You just stare, not really knowing why that was your impulse either. Finally, you mouth out, "I want you to leave Eren."

The grip on your wrist is tighter than ever, and you very well know that you're going to have new finger-shaped bruises before the old ones even finish healing.

"And I want to stay." He punctuates each word slowly, and all you can think is how being pinned to a bed is much less painful than having the hard surface of wood digging onto your back.

You're fully aware of the heat in your core, and having Eren on top of you doesn't make this it any easier because fuck, he is attractive. Maddeningly so. And maybe you want him to go away so bad because you're afraid that if his fingers are caught inside of you, you'll thank him for it.

As if reading your mind, he lets go of your wrist (making a mental note of your sluggish movements and slipping resistance) and massages your warm hole from your panties.

"Eren please" You grit out. He merely chuckles, "What are you asking for, whore?"

You could feel tears threatening to fall. This was so embarrassing. Did you want this? Yes, yes. yes, yes. You were so wet right now and had enough of the teasing.

He alternated his kneading from slow and soft to fast and rough, and you couldn't help but let out the prettiest little moans Eren's ever heard. Since you lose all pretenses of resistance, his other hand roughly brushes against your hardened nipples, straining against the fabric of your shirt.

Okay, he decided. He's going to make you beg.

"Beg." It's announced like a command, and while you hear it, you don't really register it because your hips are busy chasing the heat, and it's all too much of an utter disappointment when his long thin fingers leave.

"I said beg slut."

"Eren, please, please. I need you so bad." You're blubbering and you don't care. You just want his pretty fingers to shove aside your panties and rub against your folds. You think back to the library, how wet you were, how the stupid fucking phone call from his coach interrupted him pumping his fingers inside of you. And you didn't know if you were happy or mad he left. But now, all you crave is the blissful wave of pleasure- the very pleasure he's been denying you.

Eren looks down at you, green eyes scrutinizing. After a long while of what it seems to be him just staring, he wipes his fingers on your skirt, brushes back his hair with a wayward hand.

"Looks like I should head back to class. See you later."

Too numb to say anything, you watch him leave with a smirk on his face. When you're sure he's walked away, you curl into yourself and cry.

[syndxlla]

Part ten of the More To Love Series

Summary: The ball is tomorrow night and preparations are in full swing in the Mandalorian Palace. In desperate need of a break from all of the Masquerade planning, you get away from the palace for a few hours. This gives you a chance to reflect on your relationship with the Knight, learn more about his past, and grow closer with Koska.

Word Count: 10.9k, NO ‘Y/N’

Warnings: SMUT (handjob, grinding, this is like actually sort of gross if you over think it so just don’t over think it thanks <3), THIS IS EXPLICIT, 18+ CONTENT, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. Swearing. Mentions of: blood, scars, fighting, hand-to hand combat.

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ: insight of recent events surrounding my tumblr, I have added an additional in-text warning for the smut scenes. This will continue for future chapters for those who do not wish to read the explicit scenes of More to Love.

Author’s Note: HEY, it’s been a little while, huh? Happy to be back. THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS HOLY CRAP!! You all mean so much to me and the support of this fic is unlike anything I could have ever asked for! Also... the smut in this gets,, nasty. Like not that bad it isn’t super kinky or needs lots of warnings it’s just... like gross if you think too hard about that so do me a favor and don’t overthink it haha. OKAY LOVE YOU ENJOY

Part Nine

“No, If you keep that elbow down it will throw off your balance.”

“Okay, what if I hold it like this.”

“No it will get more tired faster.”

“Well how long do I have to keep it up like this?”

“Until the song ends!” You sigh, your fingers coming up to hold your eyebrow out of frustration. You and the Knight have been in the library for nearly an hour trying to learn how to waltz together and if you didn’t know any better, you’d guess he had two left feet. He was starting to get the hang of it, though. Slowly but surely and through a lot of trial and error but you don’t have very much room to talk because an hour before this one, he was just as frustrated with you because you couldn’t swing at him with nearly enough power needed to make some damage on anyone. This is how you’ve spent your last two evenings with the knight. The two of you sarcastically bullying one another in learning the opposite’s art. It was already Friday, the ball was tomorrow and you weren’t sure if he was going to be able to pull it together in time. The worst part is that you haven’t had anytime privately with him to do your... usual antics. There was always someone with you, usually Korkie or Koska, or the dance and fighting practice took up too much time to really have any fun.

The palace has been bustling the last two days. Every servant has had a task they were always doing, there was no down time for them which meant lots of downtime for the Royals. If there was no one to set up tea, then there would be no tea, simple as that.

Because of the high workload put on the staff of the palace, each royal has been subject to dinner in their own rooms alone this week, which was a dream come true for you. Dinner was your least favorite time of the day because of how painful it was to get through socially. And it also meant you got to spend more time with your own thoughts. You still aren’t sure what to do about the marriage, especially since you’ve admitted to yourself that you think you are falling for the beskar-clad knight who stands watch outside your door.

Even Soniee has been spending less time inside your quarters pampering you (you could really use a bubble bath). At all hours of the day, there was either a team of butlers carrying large bouquets of flowers down ornate hallways, a chef interrupting your dress fitting with Soniee and Koska to have you try another flower-flavored mousse, or an immediate meeting with the Queen to learn about some of your guests who will be at the masquerade and how to properly greet them. One time yesterday, you were asked to review the lanterns they picked out for the garden decorations. You were so indifferent to the ones they picked that the servants actually sent you back inside out of frustration. Along with the controlled chaos of preparations, the mask making has still left you feeling guilty. Just this morning you caught a glimpse of Koska’s shaky hands that had clearly been pricked by one too many needles while sewing jewels into the Queen’s mask. You must have apologized too much because she eventually got snarky and asked you to quit saying sorry about it. As much as you would like to dance with your knight with others looking on, you weren’t sure if it was worth all the pain and labor others were putting themselves through for it.

Party planning was exhausting, and on top of all of it, you needed to teach the most uncoordinated man in the kingdom how to waltz. It genuinely baffled you how he was able to be so methodical and perfect in hand-to hand combat and in bed but can barely hold his own in situations such as these. There was something charming about that flaw, however.

Now, the golden sunlight of the aging day was pouring into the towering windows of the Mandalorian library. It had made the room warm, and showed just how valuable the knight’s dark skin was as his bare hands soaked in the rays. You caught yourself staring at them a few too many times, which to your dismay, he caught you doing.

“You’re staring again.” He says while the two of you are practicing the basic 1, 2, 3 waltz step. Your eyes jump back to the emotionless visor of the beskar helmet which looked down at your face. You didn’t even realize you were looking at your hand holding out to the right, studying the way his knuckles looked and how clean his fingernails were.

“Sorry… It’s just that dancing is usually an emotional thing, you’re supposed to play off of eachother I suppose.” You shrug, stopping the dance. You realized you had been searching for something to play off of, anything, even if it’s just the calloused fingers of a hard worker.

You wouldn’t think the two of you would be so far behind and underprepared but for a majority of these rehearsals you’ve been the one leading as he figures it out. You know how bad it would look if you were the one leading tomorrow, and you’re starting to lose hope that you’re going to pull this off. You had wished you started teaching him earlier, but knew that he would have never agreed before now.

“Princess, you do realize that you’re probably still not going to see my face if we dance tomorrow.” He drops your hands. You sigh, you did know it, you just didn’t want to admit it.

“I know… when do you take it off?” You couldn’t remember if you had asked this already. Maybe you were out of line for asking, but a piece of you didn’t care, you deserved to know.

He was quiet, he always was when you asked him something personal. Maybe he was hoping you would get the idea by now��

“When I eat, when I sleep… sometimes around my son. Sometimes around other guards.” He said as he walked towards one of the library windows. You followed him, a few footsteps behind. He stopped at the glass, his reflection disturbing the pristine scene outside. You could see the beach from this window, not as well as in other parts of the castle, but the horizon of the Mandalorian sea was still in view. Your reflection came up behind his. You could see the exhale of his lungs from the shift in armor weight.

“I understand if you never want to show me.” You said. You didn’t really believe that, but you did respect him, and because of that you had to accept the reality that he may never show you. Maybe you were just trying to convince yourself that. You walk a little further to him and stand up on your tippy-toes so that you may rest your chin on his shoulder, looking out at the world below. It was so peaceful from up here. You’ve only left palace grounds once in the last two weeks and you desperately want to again. Being cooped up inside an oil painting was getting exhausting. “I want to go somewhere.” You mutter, your arms wrapping around his waist to hug him from behind: a pure and innocent act of affection.

“What?” His helmet turns to the side just a little bit so that you might hear him better. “Like… the Garden? The Parlor?”

“No!” You chuckle against his pauldron, “Outside, I want to get out of the palace again.”

“Did you forget what happened last time we went out?” He asks meditatively. “We can’t risk anything happening to you before tomorrow, The Queen would be furious, and even worse, Koska would be too.”

“Of course I didn’t forget! I’ll have the scar to always remind me” You giggle at his remark. “And besides, I-I want to go to the water.” You step out from behind him to look out at and gesture to the gentle waves against the golden beach. “I’ve been on a sandy beach before.” You clear your throat.

“We… might be able to arrange that. How about we go on Sunday? After the ball?” He attempts to negotiate.

“Or we could go now? There’s no formal dinner tonight.” You suggest.

“Your parents are coming in tonight, along with a number of other guests, not to mention Grand General Vizsla, all the Royal Guard is to be presented to him at nine.” He groans, but you were determined to convince him. You really needed a break from all of the planning, fittings and tastings.

“So? It’s barely five! We can just go for a little while!” You say as you look at the grandfather clock that sits nestled between two bookcases. You weren't feeling very optimistic, you doubted he would not budge, he’s always been so stubborn. “I can repay you…” You bite your lip. You were also incredibly horny and remember overhearing a maid back home talk about sex on the beach. It had always excited you.

He sighs again.

“Please? For me? I seriously deserve a break, so do you.” You reach out to stroke his hand. You knew that would probably work, it has before.

“Fine-“

“Really!?”

“Yes, but we have to tell Koska just so they don’t think we’re missing again.” He turns to walk out of the library. You silently congratulate yourself on getting the most unmovable and obedient man in the galaxy to go against his orders and do what you want. You happily skip behind him. “It takes a while to get all the way down to the beach so we should probably take a horse.” He says on the move. “Do you know how to ride?”

“I’m royalty, of course I do… do you?” You revising a teasing eyebrow.

He scoffs at your question, “There is much you do not know about me.”

“Well, you make it sort of hard for me to learn.” You roll your eyes playfully. He elbows you in the side, knocking you off your balance. You attempt to do the same to him, nudging him right back but not even getting the boy to budge and hurting your funny bone a little against the Beskar.

It takes you two a few minutes of complete silence and portrait-perfect stature to get all the way down the palace into the servants quarters. The only other time you had been in these narrow, stone hallways in the ground level of the Mandalorian Castle was earlier this week after Korkie begrudgingly led you back to your quarters in a wet peasant gown and a stinging bicep.

By the time the knight and yourself had made it down here, he was leading you through the maze of corridors, past helmetless knights who all nodded out of respect as they passed you, and into a wooden-arch. The room you had entered into must have been the servant’s common room, because it was about the size of the dining room. A candle-lit, wooden chandelier hung over four long tables, unlike the glass and oil-lamp chandeliers in the rest of the palace. A large fireplace burned on one wall, illuminating the room more and several small, gothic-arch windows towards the ceiling allowed warm light to pour into the cozy hall. Several handmaidens bejeweled masks at one table, twice as many sewed the bases of the coverings at another. One table showcased all of the finished designs, which depicted extravagant bird beaks, colorful fox and wolf snouts, towering cat and rabbit ears, ornate peacock tails, sharp antlers and horns on some and even incredible tusks on a few. They were all breathtaking, and while you felt guilty for making so many staff members work double-time, you appreciated their handy-work in making your dream come true.

The fourth and final table was mostly empty, a few elderly and child servants ate potato soup at it, and one maid cleaned her finger-nails at the opposite end. Everything was so simple and normal, it was such a display of controlled chaos that almost made you forget about the corruption in Mandalore… almost.

A sharp whistle rang through the room, and immediately, everyone dropped what they were doing, stood up swiftly from their seats on the long benches that paralleled each table, and turned to look at you before bowing deeply and diligently. They hadn’t even noticed you were there at first and interrupting their normalcy was not what you intended to do, but then you caught sight of who it was that sang the whistle. Koska Reeves was walking through the bowed, silent heads to you and the Knight. She looked exhausted, her hair was down and over her shoulders instead of pinned up in the intricate braids she usually wore them in when she was around royalty. The amount of fly-always was distracting but you couldn’t blame her, she would not disappoint the Queen with her work, even if that meant looking a little rough and disheveled.

“What’s the meaning of this? All royalty is supposed to be approved before coming in here.” She says to your knight chivalrously, then turns to you, “This is no sight for you, princess.” Something told you that she wasn’t only referring to the activities taking place in the common room. “I am sorry for our disorder.”

“No worries, Lady Reeves. There’s no need to apologize. I am most impressed by the work done on the masks for tomorrow.” You gesture to the table with the completed designs.

She sighs and smiles, “Thank you.” She nods before turning around, “Carry On!” She calls out to the room and everyone returns to normal as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, as if you weren’t even there. There was something you liked about that, something that reminded you that even though you have a lucky bloodline, you’re human too, and not all that different from the workers in this very room. Their daily routine was fascinating to you. “What do you two want?” She hushes her voice and drops her “right-hand woman to the queen”, first lady-in-waiting and head of the Mandalorian royal staff persona. She’s now the same brash friend you two shared.

“We want to go out for a while, it’ll just be a few hours but we knew we needed to tell someone in case anyone notices that we’re missing.” The Knight nods, explaining the situation. She raises a questionable eyebrow.

“Absolutely not, we cannot risk anything happening to her before tomorrow night.” Your heart drops.

“That’s what I said, but she’s incredibly convincing.” He shrugs, tilting his head just enough to show the extra bit of emotion. Koska looks between the two of you, her hands perched firmly on her hips. You caught sight of her hands again, which were now bandaged tightly with the same white gauze that she wrapped your cut arm with earlier this week. You wondered if that was done to dress bleeding wounds, keep the shakiness from over-working and late nights in control, or a dreadful mix of both. A terrible feeling told you it was the third.

“Vizsla is going to be here.” She raises an eyebrow, her intimidating demeanor hasn’t gone away even after she’s become aware of your little secret (well, actually massive, life-altering, “how-the-hell-am-I-gonna-fix-this?” secret). “If you aren’t here, that could result in a court-martial from the Queen herself.”

“Sounds tempting.” He replies.

“You and I both know what’s going to happen to you and your little boy if you step out of line, even once, which is why I’m guarding your scandle so close to my heart.” Her voice get’s real quiet when she says that, and he shifts his weight. Your heart drops, what in the world could she mean by that? “You know what could happen to you if I accidentally slip something, that’s why I won’t cover for you.”

“What the hell does that mean?” You whisper. She glances at you and then right back to him.

“Wow, you really haven’t told her much, have you?” Koska’s arms move from her hips into a fold over her chest. He doesn’t respond.

“Told me much about what?” You ask, worried about whatever was going on that you didn’t know about. Every day you’re reminded about how much of a stranger he really is to you.

“All she knows is that I had an old job, that’s all she needs to know.” He bites back, his voice equally hushed.

“If you’re fucking her, she deserves to know a lot more, but that’s just my opinion.” Koska chuckles once and you blush red hot. “I mean, at least tell her your name.”

“Why is this happening here? Now?” He gestures to the very crowded room. “Look, we just want to go down to the beach for an hour at the most. We’ll be back long before Vizsla gets here. You won’t have to cover for us, I swear.” He tries changing the subject but your mind is racing with the possibilities and confusion of the conversation you were just welcomed into.

Koska looks between the two of you a few times again, carefully considering what’s on the table and the risk. “Fine, one horse. I mean it, only one because if two are gone, someone will notice and then I’m gonna have to do exactly what I told you I wouldn’t do and what you said I won't have to: cover for your ass. Get out of here.” She beckons her head to a door that leads outside as a smile spreads across your cheeks. “Djarin! Don’t be late!” She calls out as you begin walking. That’s the second time you have heard that word, both times uttered from Koska’s mouth. Something wanted you to believe that might be his name but you were far too scared to find out for your own. You would try to remember it this time.

The knight leads you out of the room, and you watch Koska over your shoulder as you follow, studying the way she stood still immediately after you walk away, taking a few deep, sharp breaths and then promptly returning to her work. You wondered if she was tired, remembering that not everyone who lives in the Mandalorian Palace has the same relaxing lifestyle that you have.

Despite the aging daylight, it was still deathly hot. The heat of summer bled onto your shoulders, which were still partially covered due to the scarring cut in your muscle. The clothing only added to the heat. The part of the Castle grounds you were were foreign to you. They weren’t the beautiful, lush and trimmed gardens or breezy courtyards you usually spend your afternoons in, no. It was dark, the tall height of the palace shading the courtyard where knights sparred and a pair of little servant girls chased one another. One wall that lined the courtyard was the horse stables, and another was a blacksmith. The golden light shone through the stables, and you were able to spot the four white horses that took you and Korkie to Keldabe earlier this week despite the beasts being backlit.

“You can ride, I’ll just walk.” He says as he guides you to a palomino, a tall horse with a Caramel body and pure white mane.

“Are you sure?” You ask, not wanting him to have to walk.

“Of course.” He says as he mindlessly bridles the horse, petting him on the nose a few times. “Do you prefer a saddle?” He asks. You nod, and he swings the seat over the back of the steed.

“Does this horse have a name?” You ask, reaching your hand out to pet his neck a few times. The horse nickers at your touch.

“He likes you.” The Knight chuckles. You smile at the statement, and continue to stroke the soft hair on the neck. “Clove.” He says, his voice velvet and full of caring. The knight knew this horse. They had a bond. “Here.” He holds his hand up for you to hoist yourself onto the saddle. You were in no way dressed for riding, and the saddle wasn’t even a side-riding seat, but you would make it work. You knew that on the palace grounds you would have to ride side-saddle, it’s customary, and how you learned. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t ride regularly. The horses back home in Corellia were massive beasts, animals suited for harsh winters and heavy amounts of snow, thick fur covers their ankles so that they can trudge through deep snow and pull sleighs. The Mandalorian horses were far more majestic, more like show horses than work horses. Clove was gentle, though, that was something that wasn’t common for the strong horses up north. He didn’t move a muscle or bat an eyelash as you heave yourself onto his back, adjusting yourself to sit properly, the knight’s hand holding yours tightly as you positioned yourself and then rearranging the heavy skirt of your dress to properly cover your legs. His plan grazes your shin as he does it, and your eyes immediately catch the visor of his beskar helmet. You liked to think he was looking at your eyes, too. The moment is so still, time freezing for half a second.

He starts to walk the horse out of the opposite side of the stable and into the field behind the palace. You could see the tree line of the garden from here. The bridle was tightly wrapped around his hand as he led the two of you out of the palace and into the hot, hot sun. This was the first time you’ve ridden a horse in a very long time, and you had almost forgotten how much you loved it. A cheesy smile was on your face, and your eyes cycled from the mane of the horse, the shoreline ahead, the back side of the ornate castle and the top of the helmet of the knight. The sun reflected off of the beskar, causing a bright illumination to shine on the bodice of your gown. He walked methodically and quietly, and you wanted to start a conversation with him but it didn’t feel right.

Comfortable silence is often overlooked, something taken for granted that is really only shared between two trusting people. You aren’t sure if you’ve ever experienced a genuine comfortable silence with anyone before. Being a royal has a lot of “fine print”, one of which being that no one ever shut up. Korkie isn’t the only self-centered, talkative royal in this world. The thing that sets Korkie aside from the rest is the fact that you’ll have to deal with it intimately for the rest of your life.

There was something wildly attractive about the introvert by your side. Because he was few with words, it caused you to seek them out, and cherish what little you did get. He was warming up to you, opening up and every time you get a moment alone with him, he says a little more. Your conversations now are very different from that first night in the castle when he helped you untie your corset. All he said originally was “Goodnight, Princess”, and now he’s telling you about the stars and teaching you how to fight and defend yourself. The idea that it’s happened too fast has crossed your mind several times, but you considered that when you’re alone with someone almost all day, every day, you’re bound to get to know one another quicker than usual. However, you’ve also been afraid that you came off too harsh, maybe you jumped into it all too fast and overwhelmed him. What if he’s only complying to the relationship because he’s obligated to through his duty? You had to admit that there were a number of insecurities surrounding your friendship, you would be lying to yourself if you didn’t think that. Maybe you felt that way because you relied so heavily on him to get away from the other boy in your life who you can’t escape no matter how hard you try. Was it entirely possible that the knight feels about you the way you feel about Korkie? That very thought made you sick, your stomach twisting and preventing you from enjoying the beautiful landscape ahead.

“What’s wrong?” He asks. He noticed that you had tensed up. You silently curse yourself for not hiding it better.

“What?” Your look down at him, forcing a false smile. He was looking up at you now, his hand resting on your knee. Your eyes move from where he holds you and back up to the visor on his helmet. “Oh… nothing.” You hum.

“You are a fool if you think you can hide anything from me.” He tilts his head and your cheeks burn with blush. You sigh, knowing you should tell him. The chances are that expressing these concerns to him might give you a piece of mind… or they could do the exact opposite. You aren’t sure if you can take the emotional weight of resenting two men who you admire. You admire them for entirely different reasons, however. You admire Korkie for his dedication to his kingdom, and you admire that he’s genuinely trying his best. However, you admire the Knight for his kindness, his patience, his protection. You admire his velour voice, his plush lips, and the way he touches you. You admire that he’s a father, that he’s split his dedication between his duty to his kingdom and his duty to his son. You admire his deep chuckle, and the way he kisses you, the way you can see him laugh when you shoot him silly faces during dinner. You both admired and was frustrated by his obedience to his creed. He kept promises, no matter how life-altering they may be.

As you reflect on all the reasons he meant anything to you, you felt a sense of peace. It was better, the feeling in your stomach, that is. You decide it is right to tell him, you recall your governess explaining to you that all good relationships are built on enthusiastic communication, and you wanted your relationship with the Knight to be considered ‘good’. You sigh and then speak up, “I just…” You take a sharp, deep breath in the middle of your sentence before speaking up again, “just lots of insecurities, I suppose.” You shrug.

“Insecure- about what?” He asks.

“Everything, but especially us.” You didn’t really want to have this conversation, but you knew you had to.

“May I ask why?” His tone was sincere.

You aren’t sure how to reply at first. “Is it too fast? Am I too much?” You ask after careful consideration of what you were going to bring up first.

“What? No.” You think this was the first time he had ever replied immediately after you ask him something. “What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know-“

“Yes you do… tell me.” He reassures.

“Our personalities are different, you’re quiet and stoic…”

“Is that… bad?”

“No! No, not at all. Royals just aren’t that, and I worry if we’re compatible enough. And don’t mistake me, I admire that about you, but I fear I’m too much for you.” You sigh, shaking your head. Clove nickers again as if he’s listening in on your conversation and chiming in. He doesn’t respond right away which you’ve gotten used to, but if it was any other situation you wouldn’t be overthinking it. You can’t take the silence anymore and speak up, “And there’s the added factor that I’m totally cheating on Korkie with you-”

“-If I thought you were too much, do you think I would let you teach me how to dance?” He interrupts. The words halt in your mouth, and you look at him almost dumbfounded. “Or do you think I would be teaching you how to defend yourself? Fucking you on a royal sofa in an un-locked room? Risking my title to take you to the beach?” He almost sounded… angry? Had you offended him for thinking that? Your legs tensed up on the horse, and you regretted everything you had said. He did have a point, you hadn’t really thought of that.

“I… suppose you’re right.” You mutter.

“I don’t have to be doing any of this,” He grabs your hand, holding it in his and uses his other hand to halt the horse. The three of you pause in the field between the beach and the castle. There had been a downgrade so you were mostly hidden but you could still the upper-towers of the palace. He looks up and you, and you find yourself wishing you could see his eyes again. “But I do because I’m… fond of you.” It sounds like he’s having a hard time getting the words out, but that isn’t very uncommon for him. Your heart flares up, this was the first time he had ever admitted anything like that.

“W-what?” You ask, sounding like a fool.

“I know, it’s crazy. How could a halfwit like myself deserve a Princess like you?” He chuckles under his breath. “Maybe the elf laid a spell on me, I don’t know. But I do know that ever since I was given the duty of protecting you, my life has been different.” You can’t believe what you’re hearing. “I’ve… I’ve never felt this way about anyone, and I don’t know what it is but I-I-“ You smile fondly, and use his hand to hop off the horse. You bring your hands up to hold the back of his neck.

“It’s not a spell.” You whisper. “I feel it too.”

“Then it’s a spell on both of us.”

“Maybe.” You move your hands up to his helmet, desperately wanting to remove it, but you remember what you told yourself the other day. If he wishes to show you his face, it should be his choice, he deserves to be the one to take the beskar off. You would respect that. Instead, you just run your fingertips along the lip of the helmet, looking into the visor enchantingly. “Then it would be a wonderful spell.”

His hands find their way to your waist, hugging you to his chest. You rest or head on his shoulder and just close your eyes, feeling his chest plate move with each breath. It’s so still, the summer breeze softly runs through the tall grass. You can hear the waves gently hugging the beach, and the two of you just stand there like that. Completely alone, the only companionship being one another and a mindlessly-grazing horse. No one to interrupt. No doors to lock. No Princes to lie to. No thieves to fight. Just the two of you. If you could stay in that moment for the rest of your life, you would. In the earlier days of your relationship, you used to worry you wouldn’t like what his face looked like, worried that he might be unattractive to you. But every selfish desire you had about his physical appearance dissolved with the wind. No matter what he looked like, or what his past was, or what his name was, you didn’t care. You didn’t care because he cared for you, and you cared for him, too.

Before you can soak in the moment any longer, you’re swiftly grabbing his wrist, and tugging him towards the beach. The stillness of the moment is lost, but you’re quickly giggling as he’s chasing you down the small slope to the beach. You pull your skirt up as far as you can so you don’t trip on it, and find yourself being unable to slow down before the hill meets the shore. The soil slowly becomes more and more sandy, and your feet are bolting against uneven land towards teal, clear water. Before you can reach the ocean, however, strong hands are wrapping around your waist, pulling you flush against the Knight’s chest. You can hear the low rumble of chuckling in his throat, and you have the biggest, dorkiest smile of all time on your face. He spins the two of you around a few times before setting you back down on the beach.

You’re out of breath from running, and your hair is already untidy from the unexpected change of direction. The wind blows it just softly, letting it pull away from your face and neck. He tucks one rogue strand behind your ear, and then cups your face. You hadn’t even realized he’s been gloveless this entire time. You close your eyes and rest your cheek into him. You turn your head ever-so-slightly to kiss his palm, laying a sweet and innocent peck to his calloused skin.

You wonder if he’s hot with all that armor on. If you were too warm with a dress, only he knows what it’s like to have to spend summers so formally.

He’s the one to pull away, walking towards the water. You follow him, and the two of you stand against the tide. You kick your shoes off and pull your dress up again. Stepping into the water. You giggle at the tickle of the sand and smile at the feeling of the warm water against your ankles. He watches you fondly with his arms crossed. The water in Corellia is never this warm, and you throw your head back in bliss, breathing in the salty air. This was the happiest you had ever been since you arrived in Mandalore. The break from all the rules and customs was very needed, and you soaked in the sound of the waves, a distant call of a gull, and the wind keeping your hair out of your face. The best part was the fact that you were experiencing it with the Knight. There is no other person you would rather spend this memory with. You bite your lip and close your eyes and you never want to leave, you want to stay here forever. You hear the sound of metal clinking behind you, and something heavy hitting the sand. You turn to look at the Knight, who had discarded most of his armor. His boots have been carefully set next to one another, and beside them were his pauldrons, wrist guards, thigh plates and breastplate. The chainmail was the next thing to be removed, leaving him in only the dark-brown underclothes. His trousers were heavy duty, covered in various pockets and made out of thick material, but his tunic was a thin material, still long sleeved, but flowy, allowing the fresh, summer breeze to run through the fabric. The two items of clothing were held together by a pair of black suspenders, and the entire ensemble made him oh so… human.

You had only seen him with all his armor on before, and witnessing his shell being removed was both humbling and inspiring. The armor added quite a bit of bulk to his stature, it rounded out his shoulders, boosted his posture, and broadened him out. That was the first thing you noticed about him on the first day you arrived, he was ample in size and it made you feel so primal and safe. Despite his smaller stature without the armor, he wasn’t one bit less attractive to you. He was still the same guy who you were slowly falling for and didn’t even know it. But as he cuffed up his trousers and rolled back his shoulders, you felt so comfortable in his presence. He wasn’t just a mass of armor and creeds and rules, no, he was just a man. He was a single father, a guy who doesn’t know the first thing about dancing, and a boy born across the world in the Nevarro frontier. He was just a man.

You couldn’t stop the warm feeling in your chest that came with this thought. Everything about him was far more simple than you initially thought.

He walked towards you, and you held out your hand for him to take. He laces his fingers with yours as he steps into the shallow water with you. Your dress drops, dipping into the water and getting wet but you can’t even be mad about it. Your smile is big as his hand tightly grasped yours, the two of you looking out at the horizon.

“When I was a boy-” he begins, his voice quiet, “I wanted to live on the sea. Join a ship crew and travel the waters. There was always something so adventurous about that thought.” He shares. You turn to look at him as he speaks, studying the contour of the helmet with your eyes.

“What stopped you?” You ask, not entirely sure if he would share, but this time he was the one to start the conversation, and you felt like he might this time.

He sighs, you see it, he turns to look at you, the two of you staring at one another as the temperature slowly dropped with the sun on the horizon. “I was orphaned when I was only five.” He shrugs, your heart breaks. “It was one of the Mandalorian wars that caused it.”

You can’t imagine what it’s like having to serve a kingdom so intimately when they were responsible for the death of your family. You give his hand a reassuring squeeze, letting him know that you’re here for him. “I’m sorry.” You whisper.

“It’s not your fault, it was so long ago I don’t really remember it.” He looks down at the water.

“Thank you, for sharing that with me.” You smile apologetically. You really did appreciate that he felt comfortable enough to share something so serious with you. While you were grateful that he had begun to open up to you, it still didn’t answer any of the questions about Mandalore’s past, and what Koska was referring to a few days ago. It didn’t tell you what his past job was and why he’s serving the royal family now. However, you supposed it didn’t really matter, not right now, not today.

After a little minute of listening to the waves, he reaches down into the water, picking up a flat, thin rock. He runs his pointer finger along the edge, outlining the shape before hatching it into the space between his index finger and thumb, reeling back, and flicking it out so it hopped over the water’s surface seven or eight times before falling in. You looked at him enchanted, like he had just expressed a magic trick to a bright-eyed child.

“How did you do that?” You ask in awe.

“You’ve never seen anyone skip a rock?” He asks. You slowly shake your head. You’ve been cooped up inside a wintry castle your entire life, of course you haven’t.

“Teach me.” You say a little too forcefully. He chuckles and looks down at the sand, looking for a pebble that might work. He bends down eventually, and picks out a similar looking rock to the original.

“So, you want a rock that’s thin and flat, like this one.” He shows you the sediment. You reach your hand out, taking it and outlining the edge of the stone with your finger similar to how he did. He walks behind you, sloshing in the water but eventually gaining position. He wraps his left arm around your waist, and cups your right hand which holds the rock in his. “Now, don’t throw it quite yet, okay?”

“Alright.”

“You’re gonna flick your wrist like this,” he motions both of your hands at the same time, pulling back and then shooting forward quickly. He does it two or three times before speaking up again. “You’ll use your pointer finger to pull back like the trigger on a crossbow, it will give the rock enough spin that it stays on top of the water.” He makes you do the motion along with him a few times again. “Your shoulders will draw back almost like you’re pulling back an arrow on a bow.” Again, he does the motion with you, your back flush to his chest. You admired that he was able to relate everything to weaponry. He definitely knew his way around combat, that was apparent to you. “Then, you add all three motions together, aim for the horizon, and-“ he pulls back with you and before you know it, the rock is spiraling out of your hand and onto the surface of the ocean. It doesn’t skip, though, and instead plops right into the water.

You frown and look back at him. “What did I do wrong?” You ask, you knew he would know what needed to change.

“You didn’t flick your finger enough. Try again.” He pulls another stone out with a grunt, and holds you against his body to pull back and send another rock out. This one skips once before plopping into the water again. You sigh out, frustrated. “Here, try without me.” He says after handing you a third flat stone. You carefully practice the motion once, desperately wanting to impress him. You then pull back and give it everything you got, only for the stone to plop in without skipping at all again.

“Ugh, lemme try again.” You say angrily. You can hear him laughing at you, but you ignore it, ready to try again and determined to get it right this time.

You must have thrown four more rocks after that with no results. Each time he tried giving you just a little more advice about different things, “Follow through” or “You had too much spin that time”. You were starting to get really frustrated, having never had to really work for anything in your life before, and you knew he was starting to have a hard time finding flat rocks. You would not give up on this.

“Maybe we can try again next time-“

“No.” You say forcefully, “We do not leave this beach until I skip a damn rock, so if you want to be back in time for your evaluation with Vizsla, I suggest you find me another rock.” You raise an eyebrow as you pull out your diplomatic royal voice. He holds his hands back in defense and then tosses you the stone he already had waiting for you. You sigh when you catch it, taking a deep breath and remembering all your training. Don’t spin too much, follow through, add all three motions together, have faith.

You pull back the stone, praying that it will all go according to plan because you aren’t sure how much longer you can take failure. You pick out your target with your eyes before adding together all the advice given to you and sending it. You can hardly believe your eyes when you see it skip at least five times over the water. You cheer out in accomplishment and look over at the Knight, smiling big and triumphant. He runs through the water to you, shouting with you.

“I knew you could do it!” He grabs your waist, congratulating you. You giggle out of achievement. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” He asks.

You roll your eyes and playfully punch his arm (which luckily this time was not covered by pain-inflicting chainmail). “A lot easier than having to dodge your hits.” You admit.

“I’m proud of you.”

“It’s just a rock skip?” You wonder why he would be proud of you for that and ask yourself if you really are that pathetic.

“Yes but you put your mind to it and did it! I know some guys in the royal guard who would have given up on their third try, but you didn’t!”

“I was just trying to impress you.” You sheepishly chuckle.

“We’ll consider myself: Impressed.” He laughs and you blush.

“They don’t teach royals that.”

“Well of course not, I learned how to do that from the guy who took me in after my parents died. You picked it up much faster than I did.” He nods and you smile again.

The two of you catch your breath from the exuberant laughing, but you aren’t able to enjoy the still moment because all too quick it all comes crashing down quickly when he’s pushing you into the water. It isn’t very deep, but the unexpected soak makes you yelp out in surprise. Your initial reaction is to be frustrated, but you can hear him chuckling by your side and you can’t help but mischievously smiling in response. He’s standing, still dry with a hand over his stomach as he laughs at you. You roll your eyes before reaching up to pull him in with you, he yelps out stupefied as he’s splashing down into the tide next to you. You laugh out at him, sitting up in the water which is about waist deep. He wipes some water away from his visor and then splashes you, swatting a handful of the ocean at your face. Your laughing immediately halts from a mouthful of salt water. Your slight makeup washes off, and your hair is starting to get wet, too. You look over at him with a frown before copying his action and spraying him right back. He laughs at you, and you remember that you can’t win this. He has a helmet to keep his eyes clear from the water. You groan out of frustration, and wipe your eyes dry. He’s just looking at you, panting. His clothes were soaked now. You crawl to be closer to him in the water, which thank goodness it wasn’t too cold because you’d be rushing to get out, but the summer weather made it enjoyable to just sit there together.

[SMUT BEGINS HERE]

You’re next to him, running your fingers lightly up and down his right arm, looking at him fondly. He catches his breath, and brings his wet hand up to cup your face again. You close your eyes, hoping he takes the hint, which he does because a few seconds have your eyes are closed, his arm his pulling away from your touch against it and his lips are pressing into yours. You can tell he completely took the helmet off this time, which means he would take his time kissing you instead of a quick peck to shut you up.

The two of you sit in the water of the Mandalorian Ocean, both of his hands reaching up to hold you as he kisses each eyelid as if to say “keep ‘em closed”, before moving to your lips passionately. His left hand holding your cheek while his right hand finds its place on the back of your neck, pulling you into him. You breathe deeply as he practically devours you, his lips moving hungrily. Your hands find their way to his thighs in the water, running your palms up and down the strong muscle, making sure to take notice of the healing wound on his upper-thigh. Your hands eventually find their way to the waistband of his pants, running your fingers under them to pull out the tuck of the tunic. Fingernails come out of the water and up soft abs that flinch at the stroke. It’s hard to work around the suspenders, but you’re able to still run your hands over his torso, getting to know his body for the first and hopefully not the last) time. He has a few scars, you can feel the fresh tissue under your fingers and wonder what caused them. He’s still kissing you, his left hand moves down to hold your jaw and you keep your eyes tightly shut out of fear of this ending too quickly. The kissing noises are obscene, wet and needy amongst the sound of the waves. The Knight licks into your mouth, his tongue hot and forceful as it explores your mouth, you can taste the lust on his lips, and you happily welcome the sensation.

His right hand works around the way your gown has flared out in the water and eventually wraps itself around your ass, pulling you up onto his lap. You’re mostly out of the water now, just your shins being completely submerged. You’re slightly weighed down by the added weight of a wet skirt, but you sit comfortably on the guards lap, your hands coming up to wrap around his neck, kissing him from above now. The kiss is forced down, and this time you’re able to lick into his mouth, nibbling his lip and deepening the kiss further from the angle. You can’t help your hands from cupping his face now, pulling him into you.

Your noses rub into one another, and both of his arms lift you up from behind. Your back arches into him, and your breathing hitches, getting heavier and hotter. He starts to get hard, you feel it under your body, and a mixture of the kissing and the pressure beginning to press into your cunt is really starting to turn you on. You start to just softly grind against him, moaning a little bit at the feeling of his growing cock against your heat. His hands help you, making the humping motion more smooth and natural. The kissing becomes sloppy now, and the water from the wet bodice is making your nipples just that much harder.

Your hands are reaching down to slide the suspenders off his shoulders, and then you’re pulling his shirt up and unhooking the trousers. Your hand is reaching in and finding the base of his hardening, thick length. He groans at your touch, and you’re bending down to kiss his neck, sucking deep, purple hickeys into his golden skin. You’re needy, still grinding against him and trying not let the water slow you down. He’s sighing breathy moans and grunts in your ear as you start jerking him off. The water does make it hard, but there’s something about the added sensation of the flowing water that really made it unique. You swipe your thumb over the head a few times, getting drunk with the unexpected control you have. This was the first time the two of you have fooled around that you really got to have total dominance. You liked it… you really liked.

He did too.

Your clit is able to rut so slightly and deliciously into your fist and his cock, and you’re having a hard time not letting your eyes open and flutter in pleasure. The same shocks of ecstasy ran up and down your spine, and he held you closer to his body, using his strong hands to cup your ass and knead the soft skin. You’re panting, your free hand reaches down to rub your clit, both of your hands working in between your legs as you straddle the Knight. You’re going to cum already and can’t believe it’s happening so fast but choose not to hold it back. You’re moaning out loud when you cum against your fingers, graining against his lap fast and squeezing his cock a little harder.

“Fuck, did you just cum?” He asks deep in his voice, growling in your ear. You hum out in response against his neck pathetically, and all dominance you previously possessed dissolves as you keep jerking off your Knight. “Dirty girl, kiss me. Keep those pretty eyes closed.” His throat is dry, which you remember from last time that that means he’s close, too. You reach up to kiss him again, going in tongue first and breathing in his scent deeply. One of his hands reaches around to cup yours that is working his length, holding it and adding pressure and then making you go faster, you happily oblige and soon the pace is quick and he’s grunting against your lips. He cums in your hand, you feel the heat of it. He’s panting and sighing and it’s all so hot you think you could get turned on by it again.

He rests his head on your shoulder after cumming, catching his breath. You take your hand out of the water and you tangle your fingers through his hair, toying with the curls as he sighs against your wet skin. You open your eyes now, looking out at the horizon, lashes heavy with lust.

[SMUT ENDS HERE]

“Gross.” You chuckle.

“You liked it.” He hums against your collar bone. His hands are steadfast on your lower back, holding you there against his chest. He doesn’t have the cold breastplate separating the two of you, so your hearts were pressed against one another, beating in perfect synch. You could also finally feel how warm his body was, despite the wet clothes and gentle waves. In your peripheral, you can see some of the brown curls.

Your heart warms, this might be the happiest you have ever been. The two of you must have sat like that for a long time because your skin was starting to prune and your hair was slowly drying with the wind. His breathing had completely calmed, and he was so still and quiet that just for a moment you wondered if he had fallen asleep. The sun was almost down completely, only a little sliver of it peaking over the water. You watched it as it fell to its resting place in the ocean, the sky still blazing oranges and yellows but cooling with a soft, pale blue from the top down. It was so… serene, so peaceful. Nothing like the crashing waves of Corellia. This was the best part of Mandalore yet. It’s saving grace.

The crescent moon is on the horizon when he’s turning to kiss your ear one more time and asking you to close your eyes as he pulls the helmet back on.

“We should probably get back, I don’t want to be late for Vizsla and I’m afraid I’ve started to lose track of time.” He stands up and holds his hand out for you to take. You attempt to hoist yourself up out of the water, but the wet dress has added so much weight that you can’t lift your legs up. You grunt in effort, but there’s no budging. “Huh, looks like we need to take that thing off.”

“Again?” You look up at him, you knew he had a smug smirk under all that beskar. You reach behind you to undo the corset just enough for you to step out of it, water dripping from your undergarment as he yanks you up and out of the warm water. “I’m starting to think you just really like seeing me naked.” You mutter and don’t realize how close you were to him while saying that until after. You catch your tongue, holding your breath as he looks down at you.

“Yeah, something like that.” He mumbles in response and you believe you could faint and die right then and there. He doesn’t let the moment stew for nearly as long as you would have liked for it, however and he’s pulling the sopping wet dress out of the water and carrying it back on shore. He hands it to you when he gets to his armor, and you try ringing some of the liquid out from the fabric but it’s almost too heavy for you to even hold in your arms. He re-assembles his gear on top of the wet clothes and you know that can’t be comfortable. Sand clings to your bare, wet feet, and you're desperately trying to brush some of it off before slipping your shoes back on. He’s resituated too fast, he has dressing his armor down to a perfection and you’re sad to see your beach adventure come to a close so quickly.

Before you know it, he’s walking up the hill again with you by his side, making your ways to Clove who has been diligently and patiently chewing on the grass in the field this entire time.

“Ride with me.” You ask as he helps you onto the palomino. “Please.” You ask. “We’ll get to the palace faster and then maybe you can get out of those wet clothes before you have to go to the meeting.” You ask. He sighs but then nods with a shrug, hoisting himself onto the horse behind you. You were riding normally now, and situated yourself comfortably into his chest. The wet gown lay on the back of the horse and you wished you had thought about removing that before getting into the water.

As the two of you start a gentle gallop to the palace, you feel your hair get drier. At one moment he reaches his hand up to run bare fingers over your healing bicep.

“We should have kept this out of the water.” He says in your ear. You twist your head back to reply.

“It’s okay, really. It’s starting to feel a lot better.” You reassure.

“It looks better, but the salt water can only do bad things to it.” He explains. You shrug, unsure of how he expects you to respond.

The three of you arrive at the castle just as the sky begins to darken, both of you still damp from the ocean but your hearts still full and bodies still riding the orgasm high. The Knight helps you off the horse, and now that you aren’t alone, you feel very aware that you’re only in your undergarments and really anyone could see you. You pull the wet gown off the rump of Clove, which was so saturated that it made his fur wet. You hold it against your body, trying to cover yourself up as much as possible. The Knight removes the saddle of the horse, storing it away and removing the bit. He stretches the beast’s ears and then walks over to the far side of the stable to grab a carrot out of a bucket before handing it to Clove as a reward for his hard work. You watch him as he expertly takes care of the animal, like he’s done it a thousand times before.

Then, with no warning, the two of you hear the shrill voice of none other than Koska Reeves.

“I shouldn’t have let you go.” She’s crossing over the dirt courtyard to the stables. Her hair has been done now, put up into the customary braids they usually are in. She was now wearing the royal blue color reserved for the Queen’s court, a golden sash sitting on her hips. She held the dress above her feet and she hustled in your direction. You felt scared, you knew Koska meant business, and was not afraid to scold. She was intimidating, to say the least. “You’re soaking wet.” She gasps when she gets to the stable fence. “Come with me, Princess. We must get you changed before anyone sees you or the Queen will have my head.” She sighs, opening the gate for you to walk through. “As for you, Vizsla’s here early.”

“What.” You heard the drop in his voice from panic. “Why?”

“No one knew, he just arrived before we could do any regular welcoming. The evaluation is starting in ten minutes, I suggest you move your ass.” She shakes her head. You were incredibly thankful you had both rode Clove now. He wouldn’t have made it back in time if you hadn’t. You did feel a twinge of guilt, however. You shouldn’t have pushed for that so much and risked him missing his mandatory meeting. But an overwhelming part of you was more than happy that you got to experience those few hours alone with him. He swears under his breath before bowing to you, shrugging apologetically and then full sprinting towards the servant quarter’s entrance. “I would take that from you,” Koska says in reference to the wet dress, “But I’m already in my ceremonial dress. I can’t get it wet. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I can manage.” You nod. The two of you begin to walk back inside, and the night time breeze runs over your wet body, making you shudder ever-so-slightly. When you get back inside, the Knight is nowhere to be seen, and there’s only a fraction of the people as there were earlier. The masks had all been moved somewhere, which let you know they finished them. A mother sat on a chair by the fireplace, nursing a small baby and three young boys who couldn’t be any older than seventeen all sat around one table playing some type of card game and eating buttered bread. They were the stable boys. The three of them stared at you when you walked in, in awe of your unparalleled beauty and the fact that you were carrying a massive, heavy, wet dress.

Koska led you down a hall adjacent to the fireplace. You could see into a few sleeping quarters. The little ones were dozing off, and in one room was a couple laughing together. The small community that existed underneath the palace was something you deeply admired. You wouldn’t have had any idea any of this was here if you hadn’t pushed for today’s events, and you truly loved it. You loved how all these people found refuge and a home here.

You wished you could, too.

Koska stops at one door, taking the wet dress out of your hands and tossing it into the room before closing the wooden door shut and progressing back down the hallway. She eventually opens up a door to a small room with a single bed and large chest.

“Is this your room?” You ask, looking around and familiarizing yourself with it. A single embroidery hoop with a half-done pattern sat on the bed, on the windowsill was a melting candle whose wax had dried in a cascading pattern on the ancient stone, and at the foot of the bed was a small table with a wash basin and hairpins.

“No, It’s my sister’s. My room is closer to the Queen’s.” She nods. You had no clue Koska had a sister. She opens up the chest and pulls out a dry under-slip and simple but pretty purple dress. It wasn’t a ballgown and had long, bell sleeves in a similar fashion to Koska’s. There was some moon and star embroidery on the bodice.

“I didn’t know you had a sister.” You said, starting to shiver a little now.

“Her name is Alva, she works in the kitchen.” She nods as she crosses over to the table, opening up a little box to pull out a horse-hair comb.

“Will she mind us using her things?”

“Well, you’re the Princess, so I hope not.” She shrugs and crosses over the room again like a madwoman, pulling a wool blanket from the chest. “Here, strip and dry off.” You look at her, confused. “Alright… I’ll turn around then.” Koska rolls her eyes and turns to face the wall. You peel off the wet slip, and use the wool material to wipe your body dry. It wasn’t nearly as soft and luxurious as the cotton robes you have five floors up, but it will do for now. You have sand everywhere, and you mean everywhere. You brush it off as best you can, hoping it doesn’t make too much of a mess for anyone to have to clean. You then pull on the dry clothes, and clear your throat when you’re done and decent.

Koska turns around and smiles. “Sit, I’ll brush your hair for you and then escort you back upstairs to see your parents.”

You had completely forgotten that they would be arriving tonight. You get a twinge of adrenaline. You’ve been so homesick, and it will be nice to see some familiar faces after such an emotional two weeks. You sit at the stool in front of the table, and Koska carefully combs out your knotted but drying hair.

“So… It looks like you two had fun.” She says. You smile and blush.

“Yes, we did.” You chuckle.

“That’s good, it’s been so long since he’s had fun. He deserves it.” She hums in response and you immediately question how they know one another so well again.

“How do you know each other?” You ask, knowing there's no harm in that.

Koska sighs, “We… used to work together in a sense. He’s a good man, an even better father.” She shrugs. So that’s four people you can think of who know about his son, You, Koska, Peli and the woman from Isla’s bar… although that situation seemed different, magical almost.

“You two never…” You trail off, not really wanting to hear the answer but not stopping yourself before you ask it anyways.

Koska laughs out loud this time, stopping the combing motion, “Oh stars, no. Never. I have someone else… and he has you.”

Your heart warms at that phrase. “Who is this ‘someone else’ you speak of?” You ask, enjoying the casual girl talk the two of you are sharing.

She hums again, “You’ve met her, she’s shorter than me and far more serious, she has a fire burning, but she’s special to me.” You can hear the smile in Koska’s tone.

You wonder who she’s talking about.

—

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—

[yandere-wishes]

I think that belphegor would definitely torment a shy darling

Satan would tease a smart darling

Lucifer would just intimidate the living soul out of a shy darling

Mammon/levi/beel wouldn't even if they tried (ahem mammon)

Asmo would flirt with them

Simeon and Barbatos would encourage them

I am not sure about solomon but I think it's like satan

Diavolo is a mix between barbatos and lucifer : he encourages them but is scary

Belphegor is probably one of the worst brothers, if not, then the worst. He hates humans with a passion, wishes to kill them, massacre them, watch as life leaves their shiny eyes. But he can't do that to the new transfer student, doesn't want to risk being locked in the attic again. So he keeps himself in check, his torments are smaller, yet almost as painful. He all so loves to mess with the poor reader's head. Making them believe that every demon roaming these halls is out to get her. Promising that the way he pulls her hair and claws at her flesh when no one is looking is so much better than what the bother demon boys will do to her. Twisting poor MC's mind and body is such a sick pleasure for Belphie that he just can't stop. Plus as a bonus, he'll soon start "asking" the reader for a sort of payment for all the "protection" he offers her. At first, it's small things like bra and panty shots but it gets worst, WAY worst...

Santan is almost as bad as Belphie, if not then only slightly better. But take that with a grain of salt, he's still one of the worst demons at RAD. It's not that he has anything against the transfer student per se, but their a weaker life form prancing around like they own the place. Too blithe and aboveboard to actually realize all the mishaps that could happen to her. Surely if his teasing is discreet, kept only behind closed classroom doors and in the forgotten corner of dark hallways. Plus as long as the little human keeps her mouth shut Lucifer and Diavolo won't be able to trace it back to him. Plus what's a few scars and bite marks, she'll just borrow some powder from Asmo to cover it up. He's even more gleeful when he hears the reader crying herself to sleep each night. Asking over and over why it has to be her. Why the fourth eldest couldn't find someone else to torment.

Levi is honestly just as bad as his two other brothers. But he's shy and it takes a bit to coax him out of his shell. Or rather it takes something big and completely out of the reader's hands to drive the sea monster insane. Maybe he overhears the reader telling some other demon boys about her interest in anime and they actually ask questions about it and ask her to watch some episodes with them. Or maybe one of the brothers gives the reader a figurine that Levi has been dying to get. It really just boils down to MC and Levi having the same interests, but everyone being supportive of MC and actually find her anime obsession to be cute. So really not the reader's fault at all...but Levi is going to take immediate offense and with the amount of anime he's watched and the manga he's read you can be damn sure he has some tactics up his sleeve. He's not even subtle about it, he'll downright try to drown MC in the school pool and get her to beg him for forgiveness with lungs stuffed with water. And of course, she's expected to thank him when he decides to spare her miserable life. He's also big on blackmail, using some less than actuatable methods he learned from some more adult animes.

Lucifer probably wouldn't bother to bully anyone, only because it's too much work and he doesn't have the time. Also, there isn't much he gets out of it. Everyone is already scared of him both at home and in school, so he has to need to assert any form of dominance. But if the transfer student steps out of line, then maybe a bit of punishment is in order.

Honestly, I can't really see any of the other brothers bothering to bully MC. Mammon tries to be intimidating and fails. Asmo's a bit too friendly. Beel just doesn't know how to be mean. As for Diavolo and Barbatose, well they both have a reputation to uphold and don't want to offend the human realm just yet. Solome is probably more kind towards his fellow humans and might even help them stand up for themselves against the demon boys who do pick on her. Simon and Luke...well they're angles so not much there unless the reader was a demon. I can see them unintentionally picking on her in that case.

[yetanotherpotterpage]

the idea of loving you | 3

Being in love is never easy. Especially with a certain blonde-haired Slytherin around.. /4th year, Voldemort not coming back/

pairing: Draco x Ravenclaw reader

word count: 2600

warnings: none

a/n: I’ve been listening to a lot of girl in red lately, and is shows lol. Also thank you SOO much for all the support. It honestly makes my day <3 

After the incident with Malfoy, you went back to Harry and you talked for another hour or so, before leaving together to head back to the castle. Draco left the inn shortly after your little talk. You felt relieved, knowing that he won't bother you anymore, so you can focus all your attention on the brown-haired boy who's been patiently waiting for you to come back. But oh boy, you were wrong. You couldn't get Malfoy and his intoxicating smell out of your mind, and it once again drove you crazy. He should be illegal, you thought.

As you got back to your common room, you saw Luna sitting on a blue velvet sofa alone, with a book in her hand. She wasn't reading it or anything, she just held it in her hand, as she stared out of the window. Luna Lovegood. You met her last year, on the train heading to Hogwarts. You were a bit late, so all the cabins were full, except for the one Luna was in. She sat alone, not bothering to look in your direction when you opened the door. Not out of rudeness, she just simply didn't notice you, as she was lost in her thoughts, similar to how you found her on the sofa just now. When you first saw her, she wore colorful clothes and a funny looking necklace made out of Butterbeer caps. You voiced your fascination towards the odd jewelry, saying you've never seen anything like that before. She didn't reply but smiled at you as she took it off and gave it to you. Being friends with her meant being together in silence doing completely different things, just enjoying each other's company. It meant long walks to feed the Thestrals, even though you didn't see them, and going stargazing together. You were out on a warm September night, in your half-tied shoes and wrinkled shirt sitting on the grass, filling the silence with meaningless jibber when she kissed you. This was the first kiss you've shared together. It ended as quickly as it began. Her kissing you took you off guard, but you didn't mind it. Her lips were soft and tasted like strawberries. She smiled at you as you laid back, spreading out on the grass as if nothing ever happened, and continued talking. Your second kiss happened briefly a month after that. It was no secret that Luna was weird. Everyone knew that, and they liked bullying her because of it. She was usually good at not caring and shutting them out, but on that particular day, she broke. You two were sitting on the floor in Myrtle's bathroom while she cried, and it honestly broke your heart. It was now you that started the kiss. It was delicate, slow, and full of emotion, but it wasn't romantically motivated, and you both knew it. You've never talked about this kiss again. You wanted to walk up to her and ask her about her day, but Cho stopped you. "Oh, y/n, thank Merlin you're back. We were just talking with Marietta about the ball. It's a week away, and we still don't have dresses," she stressed. You realized she was right. You definitely needed to visit Hogsmeade before next Friday. Maybe you could invite Luna too. You knew she was not into all the dressing up, putting on expensive jewelry and makeup, but you'd give it a try, you thought. "And also, I heard Ced invited you to their little get-together. I'm so happy you're coming, you don't even know. I've never even talked to these guys before, so I probably would've felt very awkward sitting with them," she laughed. That was true. Cho was easily intimidated, and she got all shy when she was with people she didn’t know well, so you were happy you accepted Cedric's offer. In the end, you didn't get to talk to Luna, because Cho and Marietta dragged you with them to the library to meet up with some other friends. That's where you saw him. Hair as blonde as ever, eyes piercing, and he wore an annoyed look on his face. You gulped. You hadn't been expecting to see him here. You diverted your eyes as if you didn't even see him, and sat down at a table to join your friends. It's not weird he's here, he's a student after all, you thought. But still, seeing him after what he did to your heart previously that day made your cheeks heat up. 

You were trying to listen to one of the Ravenclaw girl's story about what happened in her DADA class when you've heard Hermione call your name. When you turned to her, she gestured for you to go over there, so you did. Hermione and Harry was sitting at another table with Ron. When you got there you swore you could see a blush on Harry’s cheeks, but you didn’t mention it. "Hey guys, what's up?" you asked, but your question was met with silence and awkward glances. You started to get worried. "Is everything alright?" Hermione let out an audible sigh, "tell her what you told us, Harry, she should know." You looked at Harry with a confused look on your face, waiting for an explanation. "So?" Harry frowned, and he let a long sigh escape his mouth. "I've seen how Malfoy bothered you in the Three Broomsticks today. You took so long in the bathroom, I got worried and went after you. And I've seen what happened." "Harry, I-" you didn't know what to say. You felt so guilty and irresponsible. You were on a date for Merlin's sake, and you almost let Draco kiss you. You were honestly disappointed in yourself. "It's okay, y/n," he interrupted you quickly. "It's not your fault," he said, but you really weren't sure about that. "When we got back to the castle, I saw Malfoy, and I got angry. I-I just couldn't control myself."

"Leave y/n alone, Malfoy," Harry said firmly, after he saw the Slytherin boy walking down the hallway with Crabble. Draco let out a laugh. "Why? Are you upset, because I stole the girl you wanted to take to the ball, Potter?" Malfoy said, visibly enjoying the enraged boy in front of him. Confusion settled on Harry's face, not knowing how Malfoy could've possibly known about that. "You know," Draco continued, " you should really keep your voice down when you talk. Someone might overhear you. 'Do you think I should ask her? What if she says no?' he quoted Harry mockingly. "Grow up, Potter."  "Are you serious? You asked her to the ball, so I couldn't go with her?" "Seems like the chosen one wasn't chosen this time" Draco sneered, then walked away with his minion, leaving the Gryffindor boy infuriated.

After Harry told you what happened, you were baffled. You didn't want to believe it at first. Once again, you felt stupid. You weren't mad at Draco, you honestly just felt disappointed. He did all that to mess with Harry. He would've invited any girl Harry liked, and it left a bitter taste in your mouth. You swore boys will be the end of you. But you felt sorry for Harry more than you felt sorry for yourself. He was such a nice guy. He didn't deserve Malfoy's bullying, and he definitely didn't deserve you playing with his emotions. You felt guilt take over you. "I'm so sorry Harry, I would've loved to go with you. But I mean, if you'd still want to go together, I'm in. I'll just call it off with Draco." "Uhm, sorry y/n. When I heard you were going with someone I asked Parvati, and she said yes," he said. "But I could tell her that I changed my mind." "No. The ball is only a week away, ditching her now would be horrible," you said, giving him a reassuring smile.  After returning to your table, and telling your friends about what happened, calling them furious would be an understatement. "He is such a prick., I just can't believe he'd do that." Said the girl you sit with in Charms. "I mean, he's Malfoy, what else did you expect? asked Marietta. "I'm seriously going to choke him the next time I see him." You couldn't help but laugh at that.

The following week passed quickly. It was hectic and exciting,. Everyone was talking about the ball, and practicing dancing. On Tuesday, you went out with Cho, Marietta, and Luna to find your dresses. You managed to convince your blonde friend to go with you, using your irresistible charms on her. She just couldn't say no to you. It took you a while to find the perfect dress since it was either the wrong color or the fitting of it was off, but after trying on 7 dresses, you've found the one. "This is it," you whispered, looking at yourself in the mirror, taking in the sight before you. You looked amazing in the long satin dress. It fit you like a glove, and it's deep, blue color matched with the color of your house. You felt powerful and beautiful wearing it. Thursday came quickly, and you were lying if you said you weren't nervous. It was the day of the Hufflepuff party. You walked with a knot in your stomach the whole day. You weren't ready to see Cedric and Cho all lovely-dovely together yet, considering it's only been a week since you got your heart broken. But you had to be strong. For Cho. After classes, you headed back to your dorm, to change into something cooler than your uniform. When you entered Cho was already there, doing the same thing. When you were both done, you headed straight to the Hufflepuff common room. "Are you sure you want to go to the ball with Malfoy?" Cho asked hesitantly while walking down the stairs of the Ravenclaw Tower. You sighed. "What choice do I have? No one else invited me, and the ball is tomorrow." "Go with Harry," she said as if it was the most obvious thing ever. "I already asked him, and he's taking Parvati," you said. "That's a bummer." You agreed with her. It really was a bummer.

You got to the Hufflepuff's common room faster than you wanted to. Cedric was already waiting outside for you two. Going in, you were surprised to see how different this common room was from yours. Yours was wide and tall with big, arched windows. Very graceful looking. The Hufflepuff one on the other hand had a very low ceiling, with a bunch of plants and small circular windows. It looked so cozy and comforting, like a sip of hot cacao on a cold winter morning, or warm, fuzzy socks. You loved it. After you finished marveling, you noticed that everyone was already sitting in a circle near the fireplace, so you quickly joined them. You sat on Cho's left, and Cedric sat on her right. It was okay. You could do this, it's not as bad as it thought it would be, you thought naively. There weren't a lot of people invited, you assumed since there were only about 7 people besides Cho, Cedric and you. You recognized some of them, they were all pretty popular. Some of the guys were bullies of Luna, which disgusted you, and it also didn't help with the knot in your stomach. One of the guys poured some Firewhiskey into everyone's glass, and you've all started drinking and talking. After your 3rd glass, you didn't feel tense anymore. It was a rather nice feeling, really. You were all bubbly and no one seemed scary anymore. Not even Cedric. One of the guys was muggle-born, and he told you about a game, that muggles play in parties like this. "It's simple, just spin the bottle, and kiss whoever it lands on," he explained. There were a few uneasy glances exchanged. "What if the bottle stops at someone I don't want to kiss?" a girl asked worriedly. "If you chicken out, you have to leave. Those are the rules," he replied simply. "Any questions?" he asked after a pause. There were none, so you quickly started the game. The first few spins were fun to watch. Everyone was excited, waiting for their turn to spin. You were fired up too, literally, from all the Firewhiskey you drank. It was now Cedric's turn to spin. He smiled at Cho, who smiled back at him before he took the bottle in his hand to give it a spin. It spun for what it seemed like an eternity, before slowing down. All eyes were fixated on it. You held your breath in with your heart racing. Not me, not me, please just not me, your mind chanted. It got slower and slower with every second, and it looked as if it's going to stop at Cho, but it ran past her, choosing to stop at you instead. Silence fell on the room. Everyone knew that Cedric and Cho were a thing, so the fact that it stopped at you created tension, and everyone felt it. You looked at Cedric and found him already looking at you. To your surprise, he didn't seem like he was very much against it. He looked at you with a serious expression on his face, but his eyes were suggestive. As if he was saying, it's okay for me as long as it's okay for you. You glanced at Cho, and saw a big frown on her face, and how her lips trembled. She looked pained, and who could blame her? The boy she was seeing had to kiss her best friend. She knew it was her decision to make, and her face showed true despair. You've been waiting for a chance like this for years, but seeing her like this made your heart ache. You knew what you had to do.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can do it. I guess I'm a chicken," you said, letting out a bitter laugh. Everyone was eyeing you, and no one said a word as you started getting up from your place. "You're not," you heard Cho say quietly. You looked at her with a frown as if she was crazy, shaking your head lightly. "You're not a chicken y/n," she said simply, a bit louder than last time, as she gave you a reassuring nod, gesturing for you to kiss the boy on her right. "You've heard her, go on. Do it if you don't want to leave," the muggle boy said strongly. You looked at him, with eyes that could kill, then glanced at Cedric. Your sharp eyes softened at his sight. You saw him and Cho exchanging glances before he looked you in the eyes. Your heart pounded in your chest, and you were glad you weren't standing because your knees would've definitely given up on you. You sneaked a guilty look at Cho as the Hufflepuff boy came closer to you. Heat rose from your stomach to your chest as Cedric's lips were getting closer and closer. His smell hit your nose, and he finally pressed his lips to yours. And it was honestly... underwhelming. You expected the time to stop as butterflies rose in your stomach. You expected your heart to skip a beat while your toes curl under you. But all you got was... a kiss. It wasn't magical or exceptional,  it was just normal. In the last few days, you didn't think of him as much as you used to, so kissing him scared you. You didn't want to get back into that headspace again. But you didn't. This kiss was exactly what you needed, to understand that you're healing. Little by little, you're getting over him.

chapter 4

taglist: @dreaming-about-fanfictions​

[destiniesfic]

132 Hours, Chapter 2:

“Say ‘please?’”

“Fuck off, Greenbriar.”

“Close enough.”

Previous

Read chapter 2 on AO3 or read below:

This is the shape of my nightmares:

My sister Taryn and I are thirteen years old, sick and miserable. We’ve just endured our first heats and stayed home from school for a week with doctor permission. Even now, we feel residual awfulness: headaches and sore muscles. Heats are painful when there’s no one to help you through them, and obviously we’re too young to mate. We sheltered in our rooms, and our adoptive father briefly hired an omega nurse to tend to our high temperatures and help us wrap up in blankets, so at least we felt safe and cocooned.

Everybody knows why we missed school, and they whisper about it behind our backs. Even before we presented, our designation was obvious. The rest of our class—the rest of the school—is alpha kids, and the ones in our year have all started growing out of their baby fat, shooting up like wheat stalks. Taryn and I are only barely taller than we were last year, our cheeks are still soft, and we are gaining weight in our hips and chests. Everything about this is awful. Nothing is fun.

We are outside for gym class. The alpha kids, growing into their bodies, have a lot of extra energy, so they need to spend time circling the track or tackling each other in games of capture the flag. Taryn and I will join them until we get tired, but if we show signs of flagging, we’re benched. Omegas aren’t as sturdy. Omegas break.

Today, the teacher is more generous. During our game of capture the flag, she simply mandates we play defense, guarding the precious flag, and abstain from running around with our classmates. It’s boring, but fine. We get to talk to each other while the alphas tussle among themselves upfield.

Except a few of them are “on defense” today too—the alpha elites, too lazy or too important for gym, who can slack off. As the only two omegas on school grounds who aren’t staff, Taryn and I are categorically beneath their notice, but we know every member of the clique by name: Locke, the son of a wealthy consultant who’s never home, always traveling; Nicasia, whose mom is a senator; Valerian—nobody knows what his family does so we all kind of assume it’s crime; Cardan, the youngest of six heirs to the most absurd family fortune this side of the Rockies.

Already, they are taller than us, stronger than us, looking unfairly sculpted in the autumn sun. Already I am aware of how we are different.

Then the wind blows past me, picking up my hair. And the scene changes.

The first thing I notice when Cardan unexpectedly strides toward me is that he smells amazing. He smells so incredible that I goggle at him for a second, baffled by how I somehow didn’t notice this about him before. I feel a clenching in my stomach and the urge to do something, although at the time I don’t know what. And then, while I am paralyzed by his scent, he gives me a hard shove for no reason, knocking me off-balance.

I land on my backside, an embarrassing but safe place to land, padded with muscle and fat. Our adoptive father always taught us that it’s better to land there than anywhere else, better to suffer a little humiliation than to crack your skull open or shatter your ankle or wrist. It still smarts, but at least the only thing bruised is my pride.

Then Valerian throws his head back and laughs. “That’s where she belongs,” he crows. “On her back, like a good little omega.”

Nicasia thinks that’s hilarious. Locke raises his eyebrows, blinking at us with large, tawny eyes. And Cardan, the instigator. Cardan just sneers.

That sneer has haunted me. I’ve seen it countless times since then. He starts holding his nose when he passes me in the hallway. Whenever I get complacent, he makes sure to whisper in my ear that I reek. He and his friends seem to find it more fun to bully the alphas smaller or weaker than them—omegas already know their place, after all—but that does not protect us when they’re bored, or when said alphas further down the food chain need to take out their own aggressions.

I think they thought it would break me.

They couldn’t know it would do the opposite.

---

“Jude?”

I open my eyes to a darkened room, and groan. I feel vaguely like I’ve been run over by a truck, then the truck stopped and someone picked me up and threw me in the back of it, and we proceeded to drive down a very bumpy road. In other words: like shit. My head throbs, and when I try to sit up, the world spins and I flop back over.

“What happened?” I mutter. Everything is greyish and blurry. Dim light seems to be filtering in from somewhere above my head and to the left, but there isn’t very much of it. I hold my hand up in front of my eyes and squint at it until I stop seeing double.

There’s a relieved sigh from somewhere past my hand. A male voice. “You’re okay.”

I make a second attempt at sitting up and am more successful this time. My shoulder scrapes against a wall to my right, so I lean into it. The light source I clocked before is a small window, longer than it is wide, set high up above me. And on the other side of the room, sitting across from me, sits the dark shape of a boy, or a man, or someone caught eternally in between those two things.

Cardan.

I blink at him. “You look like shit.”

“Yeah, you too.” Cardan rubs his eye. He isn’t sneering now. In fact, he looks worse than I’ve ever seen him. His hair is messy—which is nothing new, people are doubtless running their hands through it all the time with how perpetually tousled it seems—but there are circles under his eyes and he looks pale. He’s also bleary-eyed and squinting a little. He doesn’t seem to have any visible injuries, though, although jury’s out on whether that’s good or bad. I’ve often thought he could stand to get pushed around a little more, instead of always being the one to do the pushing.

“I gave you the mattress,” he says, gesturing at what I’m sitting on. “There was only one.”

I look down. I’m indeed sitting on a mattress. There’s no linens, but someone has thrown a slightly scratchy blanket over the lower half of my body. I peer around, dread sinking in as I begin to grasp the severity of our situation. “Oh, fuck.”

“I think it’s ransom,” Cardan volunteers. “I mean, I really can’t think of anything else it would be.”

I hug my arms to my chest and say the thing drilled into every omega’s brain since they’re old enough to wander off from their parents. “What about sex slavery?”

“Yeah, there’s not a huge demand for alpha men on the black market. Although…” He looks down at himself and smirks a little. He’s built like a classical sculpture and he is well aware of this fact. “Can’t blame them if they decided to make an exception.”

It’s impossible to think he’s making a joke about this, not when it’s actually a thing that could happen to me, a possibility that my stepmother Oriana warned us of ever since she married Madoc and inherited his adopted twins. Sex slavers looking to snatch up omega girls became our bogeymen.

But the odds are that Cardan’s right: it’s probably ransom. I imagine people would do and have done worse to get their hands on a fraction of the late Eldred Greenbriar’s billions.

But I say, “Maybe someone finally got tired of you being annoying as shit.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Feeling mouthy, are we?”

“Fuck off. This is your fault,” I accuse, wagging a finger at him. “You did this.”

Cardan blinks at me. “What, you think I kidnapped myself?”

“Not literally.” I slump back against the wall. “Although it seems like something you would do. You love attention.”

“Ah, yes. All of the attention I am getting from you in our cozy eight-by-ten cell. I’m just soaking it in.” He pantomimes splashing water on his face. “Great for the skin.”

“You’re in a playful mood.” But of course he’s feeling better than me. He would have needed a larger dose—of the chloroform? ether? they used on us to get us here—but he also would have bounced back quicker. Everything about alpha biology is kind of extra like that.

“I joke a lot when I’m nervous.” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I am actually freaking the fuck out.”

“Oh, great.”

“I do have water, though. Thought that might interest you.”

I sit up a little straighter. “God, my head is killing me. Yes.”

“Say ‘please?’”

“Fuck off, Greenbriar.”

“Close enough.”

Instead of getting up, which I think for a moment he might, he rolls the half-empty bottle of water across the floor and over to me. It bumps against the edge of the mattress and I have to lean over to grab it, which nearly makes me hurl then and there. The water helps, though. It’s room temp, but even a mouthful makes me feel more like a person.

“It’s not drugged,” Cardan calls. “Surprised you didn’t ask in advance.”

I flip him off. After I’ve drained the last of the bottle, I let myself just breathe, counting backwards from ten in my head. There are many warring emotions vying to tip me over the edge of a panic attack, but I can’t let them. I have to get out of here.

Cardan flicks at a bit of dust on the floor. When I am on three, he interrupts my mindful breathing. “You realize that, technically, we have now swapped saliva?”

“Ew.” I throw the empty water bottle at him and am annoyed when he catches it effortlessly from the air. “Could you be, like, useful for once in your life?”

“Sure.” He leans forward and lowers his voice, like he’s afraid someone might overhear. “There are three of them. One’s a woman, I think the other two are men. The only one I’ve seen is tall and white and barely spoke a word to me. He dropped off the water when I was still groggy.”

That is useful. Dammit. I frown. “Designation?”

“Dunno. Couldn’t get a read on him. I think they might be using maskers for their scents.”

“Yeah, maybe.” I exhale. “Tall” doesn’t have to mean alpha—my sister Vivi, who’s shorter than me, is proof enough of that. But it doesn’t sound good. “Any idea where we are?”

“I don’t think we’ve left Long Island. I don’t know for sure, though. We could be in Jersey for all I know.”

“Right.” I sigh again and rub my temples. “Okay, so ransom. Ransom. You could technically pay the ransom yourself, right? You’re over eighteen—”

“I’m twenty.” When I blink at him, he clarifies, “Repeated sixth grade, remember? And I just had my birthday in July.”

How could I forget? My life wasn’t exactly blissful before he came along, but it definitely got worse when he got bumped down to my year. “Okay, you’re twenty, and your dad died last year. So you’ve got your own money now.”

Cardan raises his eyebrows. “Wow. Real considerate.”

Now is definitely not the time to quibble over manners, but I manage, “Sorry, I guess.”

“Don’t be. He was a dick.” I glare at him, but he ignores me, patting down the pockets of his skinny jeans. “Huh, you know, when they took my phone and my wallet, they must have also taken the special checkbook I keep on me just for hostage situations. Think they’d accept Venmo?”

“Very funny.”

“But the real issue here is that I can’t touch my trust until I turn twenty-one.”

I wish I could say that didn’t interest me, but it does. Sure, Madoc has money. He’s a ruthlessly efficient attorney with killer instincts, and, among other prominent clients, he’s represented Cardan’s dad and both of his older brothers at one point or another. But he’s not among the alpha ultra-rich. Private helicopter rich. Secluded island rich. And I’m nosy enough about how the point one percent of the one percent lives. Anyone would be. So I ask, “Why’s that?”

“Why did my dad do anything?” Cardan folds his hands behind his head. “To make my life difficult, I guess. It was probably to ensure I wouldn’t embarrass myself by buying and crashing seventeen Porsches in a row. Give that frontal lobe time to develop. He’s not here to say. Anyway, Balekin’s the trustee. Maybe there’s some clause about life-threatening emergencies.”

Balekin is Cardan’s oldest brother, but thinking about siblings makes me wonder, with a pang in my chest, about Taryn. What had she done when she and Locke couldn’t find me at the party? Had she panicked? Had she gotten home safe? I don’t want to think about Madoc because he’s probably freaking out in a big way, a side of him I have only seen once before, the last time someone threatened me. It’s more likely that he’ll tear the kidnappers limb from limb than give into anybody’s demands. I hope Balekin has a more level head, although given his reputation for throwing massive parties, I am not counting on it.

“Right,” I say. “So they’ll hit up Balekin for the money?”

“Dude, I don’t know. Honestly? He might have staged this himself to get at the trust, or more likely my stake in the corporation. In some ways, I think it’s better for my family if I disappear.”

It surprises me to hear him say that. “Wouldn’t—that would be a huge scandal, though?”

I don’t say what I think, which is Don’t they love you? But there’s a pretty big age gap between Cardan and his oldest siblings. They could be practically strangers for all I know.

Cardan just shrugs and looks gloomy.

“I don’t think they planned on getting me, too,” I say quietly. There’s only one mattress in the room. One bottle of water on hand for when Cardan woke up. And anyone who thinks they can extort “Mad Dog” Madoc is definitely biting off more than they can chew. But that curdles my stomach, because if Cardan hadn’t chased me down the beach, I probably would have woken up in my lavender canopied bed, safe. Probably with a killer headache from overstimulation, but safe. As safe as I can ever be.

“Yeah,” Cardan agrees, which doesn’t help me feel any better. “Wrong place, wrong time.”

I blow out a breath. “Well, Balekin better pay up in the next forty-eight hours, or we need to figure out how to get out of here. Otherwise we’re going to have problems.”

“We are?”

I swallow. I hate that I have to spell it out for him. But I keep my voice even, casual. “Unless you’ve got spare heat suppressants on you.”

Cardan looks dumbstruck. “Oh,” he says after a moment. “Shit, no. I must have left them in my other jeans with my hostage checkbook.”

I feel myself blush, which is ridiculous. Unregulated heat cycles, messy and inconvenient as they are, are nothing to be ashamed of, as everyone says. Just a quirk of biology. Just the way I am. There’s even a group of pretty radical omega activists out there fighting to destigmatize unregulated cycles, citing the damage that suppressants can wreak on the body. Except my designation is going to be pretty problematic if I’m locked in this room with Cardan for reasons other than societal stigma.

To be honest, it’s already a problem. The room is probably ten feet long, not long enough for us both to lie down across from each other without curling up to avoid touching. I am already hyper-aware of his presence, the nervous drumming of his long fingers, the terrible urge I have to run my fingers through his already messy curls. It’s just chemistry, but if it’s bad now, it’ll be about eighty times worse for both of us if I go into heat.

And if any of our captors are also alphas…

I shake myself all over. I can’t go down that road. I’ll never pull myself back. I’ll just curl up in a little ball and then it’ll be up to Cardan to save us, which, no thank you. “Yeah. So, one way or another we have to get out of here.”

Cardan goes pale. “Jude, I—”

“So we assume nobody’s coming,” I continue. “Use the next twenty-four hours to figure out as much as we can about the people who’ve taken us and where we’re being held, and the next twenty-four to escape. That’s the plan.”

“That’s a reasonable plan,” he says, vaguely startled.

“You don’t have to sound so surprised.”

“I’m not. You were valedictorian, of course you have a plan. Just, uh, my mind went totally blank when you pointed out you’d—”

“We don’t have to talk about it, okay?” I snap. “I assume you want that just as much as I do.” Which is not at all.

The way he pales further tells me I’m not far from wrong. I mean, he’s always made it clear how much he’s hated my scent, the way I look, the fact that I get better grades than him. He hates pretty much everything about me, because I am an omega and he is an alpha, and that means he should be on top of the world and I should know my place.

I massage my temples, trying to clear my head. “No, we’re going to get out of here before that happens.”

For reasons I can’t pretend to understand, that seems to reassure Cardan. He nods and unfolds his arms, letting his head fall back against the wall. His eyes close. “Okay.”

I am surprised that he seems at all willing to trust me, but I suppose he is pretty low on options. That’s his mistake. Already I am thinking of what a relief it will be to leave him behind, even though I know that, morally speaking, I should be formulating an escape plan for the both of us. Besides, abandoning Cardan to his fate wouldn’t really solve any of my problems. But I wouldn’t have to face his sneer anymore, wouldn’t have to wonder what it would take to convince him I have earned my place when the answer is clearly “Nothing, ever.”

“I just have to figure out how,” I mutter under my breath.

Cardan cracks one dark eye open to look at me, but I ignore him, staring up at the little window. There has to be a way to crack this place open like a nut, and if there is, I’ll find it. There is no other option but this, no other way but out.

I refuse to believe otherwise.

Next

[seijurosempress]

@shoichee​ I hope this meets your expectations✨ (Bc I refuse to tolerate any more bullying today. Also- Matchup under the cut)

First, I just want to say- I’m sorry. (but not really). I know our love for Hayama runs deep but the moment you choose violence with him, that’s it for you. RIP. It was nice knowing you 😔 But, remember when we first spoke and I asked you if you shipped yourself with Imayoshi and you refused to answer my question? Well- [Insert ‘Surprise shawty’ tik tok audio]

Best Match: Imayoshi Shoichi

Your subconscious knew what it was doing when you picked out your URL. The moment you said you related to Dazai and then proceeded to talk about socioeconomic issues revolving around globalization while we simultaneously talked about dumb stuff I knew there were only a few guys that could handle your energy and Imayoshi hands down tops that list

Even though Hanamiya out of all people might say Imayoshi doesn’t have the best personality, I actually think you two can balance each other out and understand each other in a way other people may not be able to

Honestly, right off the bat, y’all will probably bond over some form of teasing. Whether it’s making some remark aimed directly at the other, or one of you takes a jab at someone else and the other happens to overhear, it will be the start of a beautiful relationship

Gemini and Leo’s have really good chemistry so it’s no surprise you’ll manage to get along, regardless of your- argumentative natures.

You two are like the two sides of the same coin. While he presents himself as a kind and easy going person, speaking politely to others- until he inevitable shows them his real personality- you, on the other hand, can come off a little cold and critical, scaring people off when you first meet them even though you’re genuinely kind and easy going once you start to talk to them

If you guys meet purely by chance, maybe you’re in the same class, you’re introduced because of a mutual friend, or because one of you overheard the other, the moment you hear how the other carries themselves in a conversation will automatically peek your interest. 

Have you ever seen that meme where they’re like “oh you wanna kiss me so bad”? yea, that’s you two. I can see you getting into the most amusing squabble, just trying to throw the other one off, Imayoshi smirking if and when one of his comments goes right over your head

You’re both pretty smart (I spent a solid hour trying to double check this and still failed but I’m like 80% sure his IQ is pretty up there) so I can see you two meeting because of that too

Scenario: 

Imayoshi is just minding his business, checking the updated class rankings posted in the hall across your classroom. Why? He doesn’t know, if he’s being honest. It’s not like anyone could ever surpass him, he’s been at the top of his class each time since his firs- What’s this? He got bumped down? Who the hell are you? Wait no, he knows who you are. He’s heard your name before countless times, mostly followed by your voice as it traveled throughout the hallways, your laugh bubbling out of your small frame soon after in reply to whichever friend had just made a funny remark. Funny. You didn’t seem all that smart at first glance, could he have actually... made a mistake? His gaze flickers to the other side of the hall where he immediately found you, eyes wide and a small smile adorning your features as you listened to your classmate speak. A low hum escapes him as he analyzes your appearance once more. He notices the way your makeup highlighted your already attractive features, the small accessories added to your uniform making you look put together and stylish. Maybe he had underestimated you, he though as he saw you take your turn to speak, your answer leaving your classmate open mouthed with a baffled expression. He felt the slight tug on his lips, the beginning of a small smirk forming on his face as you smiled widely at the response you had gotten.  However, the amusement only lasted a split second, his features falling in disbelief when you turned around, tripping over your own feet and falling face first into the open classroom door. “What are you staring at?” Someone, probably Sato, asks as he strolls up beside him. “Nothing” he sighs, adjusting his glasses on his face. Is it really nothing though? a small voice inside him asks just as a series of curse words and noises fall from your lips, eliciting his own to quirk up into an amused, lopsided smile. Even if it is “nothing” for now, don’t be surprised when both of you “coincidentally” find yourselves bumping into each other more often from now on as he tries to figure you out.

I can see him realizing he has feelings for you while you two are hanging out. Maybe you two will be studying after you asked him to tutor you in math since it’s his best subject, or well, attempting to study at least as you’re nearing half an hour of your 5 minute snack break. He’ll probably be doodling in his notebook while you scroll through Instagram, and it’s not until he looks up to see you so focused on whatever was on the other side of the screen, your fingers quickly tapping away as a smile pulled at your lips that he asks what you’re doing. Without a second thought, you absentmindedly tell him about whatever argument you’re getting into in the comments section under a random photo you came across before you’re back to focusing on the matter at hand. 

His whole trademark is that he’s good at analyzing people, and as a Gemini, he is not an exception to his own skills. He’ll suddenly come to the realization that, while he enjoys pushing people’s buttons, he enjoys the thought of you two being a team even more. While you can be loud and social, making and laughing at jokes, you also know when to get serious and get stuff done, something that that he would appreciate considering he likes respectful and considerate girls.

The problem now is- he may be aware of his feelings...but are you?

He’ll probably try out multiple ways to hint at his feelings towards you but they’ll just go right over your head. In your mind, you can’t see anyone having any romantic feelings towards you and sure he may be acting a little weird, but you’d probably just shrug it off as it being all in your imagination.

Meanwhile the whole time Imayoshi is just standing there like- Is she serious? No one can be this oblivious???? but yet  ✨here you are✨

Now it’s his turn to be frustrated by your conversations because you’re just not getting it? So he decides to try something more straight forward. Girls like pickup lines, right?

He could literally see the moment your brain stopped working. Your face flushed red as a nervous giggle bubbled out of you. All common sense left your body as you made finger guns at him, giving him a slight nod before turning around and walking quickly out the room

it would take you a few minutes to collect yourself, strolling back in the room 30 minutes later, leaning against the same spot you left him moments prior and giving him a pickup line of your own. *queue Imayoshi’s mischievous smirk* “Oh? Is that so?” (he’s such a little shit he’ll probably pretend like he didn’t say anything first to get back at you)

I can see this going back and forth for a while until he finally asks you out on a date, but this time he’ll make sure to do it in a way that will prevent you from escaping and leaving him alone and confused again

Your PDA is most likely kept to a minimum, partly because of your Venus in Virgo and partly because he doesn’t like spontaneity. Your outward relationship will consist of hand holding and pecks but that doesn’t mean your private life remains the same, just because you’re dating now doesn’t mean you’re suddenly immune to his habits or him to yours

You say you want to spend some quality time together? “How about a movie night?” he asks, his smile deceiving you long enough to trap you in his arms as a scary movie plays in his blacked out bedroom. “I don’t like scary movies” you whine, your body pressing into his and a pout pulling at your lips as he “innocently” chuckles, “Oh really? I must have forgotten”

You say you’re a bit cynical about relationships but I think it’s because your Neptune, Pluto and Lilith are ruled by air signs. This means you enjoy spontaneity and creativity in what you do and therefore always gravitate to doing things in which your outcome depends on yourself and not other people. Imayoshi is the kind of person that respects other people’s needs as we can see when he allows Aomine to skip practice if that’s what works for him. This will help you maintain a healthy balance in your relationship, allowing you to be able to feel more at ease and not trapped or like you have to be a certain way with one another

You decide to keep pursuing dancing? He’s proud of you, and will not hesitate to show off and boast about your achievements to the rest of the team

You had a rough week and you want to spend the whole day gaming with headphones on? It’s fine he’ll take the opportunity to relax and go fishing

On the other hand, you want to go shopping? Suddenly he’ll find himself walking hand in hand with you as you and his sister stop at every single store only to leave with more bags that you can carry. 

At first, you would insist you could both take care of yourselves at the mall, but he soon found out that you two should not be left alone. She might be his sister but she’s younger and impressionable and she looks up to you? And you can be a bit scatterbrained so you lose track of her time so you always end up bringing her back really late, along with an armful of shopping bags that he’ll only have to go back and return within the week because being hasty runs in his family and his sister didn’t pay much attention to how much money she was spending

Overall- I think that what really makes you a good match is your ability to communicate with one another. Both of you are pretty honest and straightforward (although your executions are vastly different) which will help you navigate through any obstacles in your relationship

You keep each other on your toes and bring fun into your relationship while also settling down, talking about serious stuff and getting genuine advice from one another when you need it the most. The balance you maintain allowing a stable foundation for the relationship to grow and blossom. He did something hasty? It’s okay, you know exactly what to do to fix it. Someone keeps hitting on you insistently? He’s already walked over to intimidate him to go away. You want to spend quality time together but he wants to go fishing? There you are by his side, scribbling in your notebook and reciting your poetry to him as he listens carefully with a small smile on his face that you’ll definitely not tease him about later. You need help with your math again? he’ll tutor you in exchange for you making him a bento with his favorite meal. Until he learns that you somehow burned half the rice and left the other half uncooked. Perfect balance of give and take. 

Bonus: Takao Kazunari

You are literally the girl version of Takao omg. (I literally JUST got your message about being the new Takao too smh I know I’m slow but let me finish this first)

You two are so alike and you would make the most chaotic duo but as much as I want to ship you two, I can just see you two being really good friends so I feel the need to include him in this

Midorima would be so done with your shit, he’d probably see you two together and immediately turn around and start walking the other way because he just KNOWS you’re bound to gang up and bully him

The first time you saw is lucky item you probably burst out laughing and thought he was joking until you saw his face flush red

After that, every time you ask about it he just grumbles out his answer, still salty about your initial reaction

Takao never fails to remind you either, trying to hold back his laugh whenever you try to make it up to Midorima but he ends up ignoring you, or you somehow just manage to make it worse

When it’s just you and Takao, you could be minding your business when suddenly one of you makes ONE singular little comment and that just sets off the other, adding onto it until both of you are crying with laughter

Honestly, the only time I can see you taking one another seriously is when you’re having discourse

He’s an optimistic person while you’re a realist which can set off some very interesting discussions between the two of you, your argumentative nature leading both of you to talk about anything and everything as you challenge the other’s ideologies

If you decide to try out a relationship, it’ll be filled with excitement and adrenaline, both of you needing very little persuasion to try out new things

You’ll be his partner in crime and he’ll be yours. You want to mess a bit with your younger neighbors? Why not? You want to go check out the new mall a few town’s over because they have a store you’ve been wanting to check out for months? He’s your man.

While the relationship is fun, you both can get a little ahead of yourselves, going with the flow and getting sucked into your own world; you’ll need someone to ground you

Usually, this role can be plaid by Midorima but it proves to be a bit problematic when he’s nowhere in sight

The amount of times you two have lost track of time or gotten caught up in something because you ran into some friends or even met new people and got lost in conversation, by this point Midorima has probably given up trying to keep track of your whereabouts when you’re together

I wouldn’t be surprised if you two ended up making your own language. He’s good with kids and bad at being quiet while you enjoy making new words and trying out sound effects which he would without a doubt find amusing. You’d probably go as far as to make children believe they’re actual words, could you imagine Midorima’s face when he goes over to Takao’s house and his younger sister starts talking to him in the made up words you taught her

Ultimately while your personalities are very alike, you tend to clash at the wrong points and it would take you working together to compromise to make a romantic relationship work

Both of you surround yourself by others, often finding yourself in the middle of everything, your personality constantly making other people gravitate towards you. This can prove conflicting when you’re together as now you’d have to learn how to share the spotlight, so to say

While you love fashion and makeup and shopping, the poor man just wants to enjoy his trading cards

Although you should use it to your advantage and make him drive you around in Princess Mia’s Midorima’s carriage.

Your might also find yourself more often than not at a crossroads, your realist point of view conflicting with his positivity which can lead to arguments between you two

Overall- a relationship with you would be exciting. There would never be a dull moment and you’d constantly encourage the other to have new experiences and make the most of your time. But moving into a more romantic territory would mean that you’d have to learn how to prioritize things in your life, knowing when to buckle down and get things down and how to successfully come to terms with and work out your differences. 

Sidenote: I meant to make these a little longer but my brain cell only has so much KNB knowledge stored in her small little filing cabinet that may or may not be a single folder covered in dust and stuffed in some corner

[mneiai]

Star Wars Drabble

"See your first Padawan there?" Qui-Gon joked beside him, studying the group of toddlers.

Here’s that Xanatos Time Travel AU I mentioned in an earlier post lol

AO3 Link

Everything hurt.

"Xan!"

Burning, he was burning.

"Xan! Please!"

There was a shift, a flurry of activity, and then he was lying down on cool grass, staring up at...at his mother's face.

"What...?"

She sobbed when he responded, clutching him and crying into his chest, and he looked around, taking in where they were, who was there.

He remembered this place. These people.

When he started to move, realizing the burning was not only gone, but that he felt better than he had in years, he couldn't help but notice how small he was.

How young.

A commotion to their side drew his attention to his father, charging through the small crowd of servants, a medic at his heels.

His father. His mother. His old home.

There was no Death, no afterlife. Which meant....

He had a lot of things to think about.

***

Xanatos froze, staring at the Youngling that had just started stumbling its way down the hallway behind the others. He didn't spend much time in the creche, having little love for the noise and mess, and he'd somehow managed to forget how much time has passed.

"See your first Padawan there?" Qui-Gon joked beside him, studying the group of toddlers.

He almost choked at the idea, felt Master Dooku shift beside him. When he'd come back, he'd decided to go about consolidating power differently. It had been less than a year before Qui-Gon found him and he decided that becoming a Jedi would still work out best. Leaving as a Knight would get him far less scrutiny and he'd retain some allies in the Order if he played things right. 1

When he returned to the Temple, it was to find he wasn't the only one that got this second chance. And what his Grandmaster had told him...well, they had much more to prepare themselves for, now.

"Xan?"

Sucking in a breath, he looked at his Master (who he was enjoying breaking much more slowly and precisely this time), then back at the little boy who would have been his greatest legacy.

The choice presented to him was just too good to resist.

"I...I think I have."

He walked forward, catching Obi-Wan's curious gaze, and the boy went willingly into his arms, snuggling into his hold as Xanatos projected comfort into the Force around them.

Master Dooku stepped up beside them, gently stroking the boy's hair. He'd told Xanatos much of his brother Padawan's tragic future, always tinged with the regret that Obi-Wan had never joined him. Unlike Feemor with his peasant family or the uncouth slave boy that Qui-Gon had wanted to replace all three of them with, Obi-Wan had been properly raised and even during their frenetic encounters, had rarely seemed less than civilized. It was no wonder Dooku had respected him over the dregs of the rest of his remaining lineage.

While Xanatos didn't know the adult Obi-Wan, he did remember him as a child. He remembered the way he worshipped Qui-Gon, the way he twisted himself around trying to become exactly what his Master wanted. He would have died just to have Qui-Gon's approval.

Xanatos wouldn't be as foolish as Qui-Gon, he would take full advantage of that. In his mind's eye, he could already imagine the General Kenobi that Dooku had told him of, loyal to Xanatos.

"Hello, little one," he murmured, stroking Obi-Wan's cheek. "I'll be your master someday soon."

****

He's surprised how much Obi-Wan has remained the same, without the crushing inferiority complex of a washed out Initiate weighing him down. Dooku had said the other version of him had been the ideal Jedi--the sort who would never Fall, who could fight superior opponents and win from skill not power, selfless and self-sacrificing. Xanatos had assumed most of that came from childhood abuse.

But in this timeline, Obi-Wan was one of the few Initiates who grew knowing they already had a Master and became a Padawan at the earliest age to a well-regarded, dashing Knight. A Master who visited often during his time in the creche and had no problem getting any bullies to back off (and if some of them were punished in ways that the Jedi would never know of, well, that was a master's perogative). And yet Obi-Wan still seemed to disbelieve just how good at all the Jedi business he was.

Xanatos thought maybe he was incapable of seeing such truths, since he thought Xanatos was an amazing Jedi and Xanatos was a Sith pretending to be a Jedi.

Or, at least, as much of a Sith as someone could get, completely removed from Bane's line and learning in secret as he and Dooku were.

Still, there was something so...flattering about his regard that Xanatos found himself trying to live up to it when he could. Helping people he would have ignored, biting back criticism at the non-humans, only snarking slightly at the uneducated and foolish. Pretending he thought these backwater planets deserved Jedi helping them.

He was still, of course, destroying Qui-Gon's mind and soul little by little behind Dooku's back. And running some companies from the shadows that no version of Obi-Wan would ever approve of. And plotting the downfall of both the other Sith and the Jedi.

But he had some time to waste, all of his plans too long-term, enough that he could be kind to strangers in return for Obi-Wan's bright smiles. Could go out of mission parameters to help more just to overhear Obi-Wan talking in awed tones about him to his peers.

Xanatos could understand why Yoda thought Obi-Wan could save Qui-Gon from himself in the last life. He also found Qui-Gon even more pathetic for not realizing what sort of treasure he'd had.

****

"Stop! Please!"

Xanatos stared in horror as his Padawan--who was supposed to stay safe on the ship--threw himself into the battlefield, his lightsaber lit...and catching Master Dooku's blade before it could strike down another Mandalorian.

The blade shut off an instant later, Dooku hurriedly stepping back as if to show he was no threat.

Obi-Wan was thirteen, tiny, and still so soft-hearted that Xanatos thought it might be an affect of his very soul, not just his upbringing. He shouldn't have been anywhere near Galidraan, especially after he and Dooku had decided it should go similar to the last time to keep Mandalore destabilized, but the Council had foolishly thrown him into the mission.

And he must have felt the death and pain from all the way back at the ship. He looked like he'd run the entire way, breathing hard but so sure of himself.

"What are you doing?! We're peacekeepers, not--not murderers!"

A few of the Knights had already turned off their sabers, horror echoing around them like they'd only just realized what they were doing. The Mandalorians were using the distraction to regroup, huddling together and trying to save some of their injured. Many of their blasters were still pointed at the Jedi, but none anywhere near Obi-Wan.

"Get out of the way, brat!" Vosa started, actually looking like she planned to attack the Padawan.

That Dooku had ever thought he could raise her differently still baffled Xanatos.

"Adiik," a Mandalorian shifted towards Obi-Wan, others following, as though they could defend him.

And then Xanatos finally moved, fury flushing through him and making it so, so hard to conceal his Darker nature. "Don't even think about it, Vosa."

He stood next to and a little in front of Obi-Wan, now, facing down his Master's sister Padawan, unintentionally defending the Mandalorians. Any doubts about his actions he had were banished when Obi-Wan's free hand gripped his robe, their bond shivering with his Padawan's adoration.

She scoffed. "Your attachment to the boy is clouding your senses."

"Your anger and fear are making yours questionable," he shot back, knowing the others would understand he was accusing her of near-Falling.

Before she could defend herself, Dooku gripped her arm, forcing it down. Xanatos met his eyes, trying to convey the new plan in just a few looks. Obi-Wan, from what he'd heard, had some Force-driven connection to Mandalore in the last life, and now he'd have the remains of the True Mandalorians owing him their lives. It couldn't be a coincidence.

***

Xanatos didn't normally approve of most of his Padawan's friends, he'd done his best over the years to isolate him more and more, making sure he was too busy to spend time with them, to distracted even to send them messages. His Padawan should be solely focused on him.

But Vos...had his uses. The Council was biding its time, waiting for him to Fall, and from what Dooku had said it would happen. And Vos came with Tholme, having a Shadow see Xanatos as an ally could never hurt.

So, Obi-Wan was allowed one friend, for all the headaches their exploits gave Xanatos. Two too-angry boys that no one would have wanted if they hadn't been chosen by Masters so young. Who would, as much as their exposure to Xanatos and Dooku, help guide each other to the Dark.

***

Dooku and he had been preparing for this moment perhaps more than any other. Too much hinged on one person and they'd gone back and forth for ages trying to decide if one of them wouldn't just take a detour and kill the kid.

Yet here they were, watching Qui-Gon twist himself into knots trying to get the Council to accept a nine year old as his Padawan.

Qui-Gon had asked Xanatos to watch the boy while he spoke with them (and Dooku, of course, was on the Council now, so he couldn't do it). Normally, even if Obi-Wan was newly Knighted and not technically under Xanatos' authority anymore he would have given the task to him.

But not for this child.

He did a good job at playing innocent, an even better job at hiding his Darkness behind a blinding amount of Force. But Xanatos now had his confirmation about what it was that meant just he and his Grandmaster had been brought back before.

Falling.

"Xan? I brought--oh, hello." Obi-Wan, with his impeccably annoying timing, walked into Xanatos' rooms to find him and Skywalker staring at each other.

Before Xanatos could decide on a reaction, Skywalker was moving, giving Obi-Wan a bright, adorable smile and trying to help him with the containers of food he'd brought. Qui-Gon must have told him at some point and now Obi-Wan, aware of how little Xanatos liked children, thought he was helping his Master.

"Hi! I'm Anakin!"

Obi-Wan smiled softly and introduced himself, keeping up a pleasant conversation with this boy he thought would be part of his grandmaster's lineage. He already seemed charmed.

As if sensing just how much Xanatos was seething at watching the young man who always put him first focused on some brat, Skywalker spared a moment when Obi-Wan's back was turned to give Xanatos a truly cruel smirk. It was chilling on a child and made him hesitate from interfering, not sure how Skywalker would react.

When Obi-Wan finally had to go to one of the classes he was an assistant instructor for, they were alone again. Xanatos was exhausted from keeping himself from driving his lightsaber through to the little monster's heart. And his frustration that his former Padawan just did not notice, thought Skywalker was adorable.

"They're going to make me an Initiate," Skywalker stated, cruel eyes locking on Xanatos again. "And I'm going to be Obi-Wan's Padawan."

"I didn't think that worked out so well for you, last time."

Choking, he was choking, just for a moment, just as a warning. He didn't even feel the Dark except right around his neck. What was this creature?

"He was my Padawan, not Qui-Gon's. You won't find him such a pushover."

"He's mine. He'll always be." Skywalker's face was twisted and ugly, his hands clenching at his sides.

Xanatos gritted his teeth, knowing he didn't want to upset Skywalker too much. He would just have to make sure Obi-Wan took someone else as a Padawan, first. Assuming the boy wouldn't kill them. Which...Dooku had said part of the plan Sidious had for Skywalker's Fall involved slaughtering the whole creche.

"There are plans in place, Dooku and I have spent decades--"

"I don't care what your ineffectual plans are, I know exactly what needs to be done. Either you help me or you're standing in my way. You don't want me as your enemy."

Despite the threat coming from a nine year old, Xanatos knew the words were true.

XXXXXXXXX

Basically, the disaster lineage members who Fell are the ones who get sent back in time, to just a little before they're taken by the Jedi.

Anakin is still dark here because like two seconds of doing something good because his kid is otherwise going to die after like twenty years of committing genocide and shit isn't really the same thing as a true redemption lbh And I guess you could say this assumes Force ghosts don't exist or something like that lol

Quinlan included in this because you're all freaking obsessed with him lol

[less--beans]

so i might need a little time before i heal

despite having writer’s block for literally the last 3 months, i’ve written like 3 watt fics in the past week. here’s one that i wrote tonight!

word count: 2039

summary: Cairo's headed back to school for the first time since the infamous second sleepover. Kate finds her in the bathroom crying.

Cairo lets out a deep breath. The school looms ahead of her, students milling around in front of it, laughing and talking with their friends. 

She automatically looks for the cheer team, knowing that Riley prefers them to hang out before school, no matter how quiet and awkward it is. She sees a flash of red hair and starts to head for it-

No.

She stops, remembering. She won’t see Riley smiling, beckoning her over. She won’t sit on the stairs with her, watching the team sit awkwardly around and listening to her best friend talk. She won’t see Chess laugh at some dumb sarcastic comment Kate muttered under her breath. She won’t see Farrah try to sneak a swig of something from a flask, hiding from Annleigh’s disapproving glare. She’ll never see any of that again, because Chess and Farrah are dead. And Riley is in prison for their murder. 

Cairo falters, not knowing where to go, when her name is called. She looks over, surprised, and it turns out to be Reese who is now calling her over. She hesitantly walks in the direction, silently sending up a thanks to whoever is listening that it’s on the opposite side of campus than their normal spot. As she gets closer she realizes the rest of the team is there too, sprawled out on a staircase. It seems as if they decided to keep hanging out in the morning, even in their captain’s- former captain’s absence. 

“Good morning Cairo! Come sit with us,” Reese says with a smile. Cairo decides to try to ignore the obvious pity and hesitance in the expression and just comply. She sits on the bottom of the steps and figures she’s not going to even try and pay attention to whatever the girl is going on about. Instead, she surveys the remaining members of the team.

Kate sits at the top of the stairs alone. She doesn’t seem to be listening either, staring off across campus with an empty expression. There is an obvious gap between her and the rest of the team, as if someone were sitting there, a painful reminder of a time when someone did. Annleigh is a sharp contrast, paying too much attention. She is grinning widely, though it seems to be physically hurting her, and she’s nodding as Reese speaks. Mattie seems scared, and Cairo wonders if she feels worse for the girl they wrongfully imprisoned or the girls who lost people to whom they rightfully imprisoned. Someone drops something metal across the campus, and Mattie flinches, drawing into herself with a haunted expression on her face. Eva looks unsure of what to do, standing awkwardly. She’d never gotten to know the team before the drama of that night. Cairo almost smiles. What a wonderful first impression they’d made. 

The bell rings, loud and jarring, and Cairo startles. She hasn’t even noticed the time passing, too busy trying to adjust to the changes. She gets up and walks away without a second glance, not bothering to try and make conversation with any of the other girls as they all headed to class. There was only one person she wanted to talk to, and she’d never be able to again. 

---------------------

The bell signals the end of class, and Cairo drags herself to her feet. The two classes she’d had so far seemed to go by in a blur, but they also seemed to last forever. The colors and noises ran together, and for most of the classes she’d been left staring at the empty desk beside her. 

She makes it to her locker, trying her best not to look at the pictures she’d had hanging up in it. She is just starting to think that maybe she’ll get through the day intact when she overhears a conversation from across the hall. 

“Can you believe that we had our very own Death Of A Cheerleader right here in this town?” Cairo stiffens. She can’t believe her luck. Of all the things for the girls to be gossiping about, it has to be this?

“I just wonder what caused that girl to snap. I mean, everyone knew that team was the worst, but murder?” Riley’s comment about being “the worst team ever” plays through Cairo’s mind, and she thinks she’s going to throw up. 

“She killed only the drunk and the junkie though. Oh, and that cute boy- I wonder what she was thinking,” one girl comments thoughtfully. The other girl laughs scornfully. 

“She wasn’t. She’s, like, insane. Didn’t you hear? She had a whole breakdown-” and that’s all Cairo can stand before she’s pushing through the crowd towards the bathroom. 

She manages to make it to a stall before she throws up. It’s the little things, she thinks cynically, slumping to the floor and leaning against the wall. She realizes she’s crying with some surprise as the tears roll off her face. She wonders for a second if the splotches the tears are leaving on her jeans match the splotches the blood would’ve made and has to stop as she feels bile rising in her throat again. 

The door opens and for a second the loudness of the hallway is all she can hear before the door swings back shut and the silence returns. The girl who entered shuffles on her feet awkwardly and Cairo waits for her to go into a stall so she can leave without having to interact. Instead, the girl speaks. 

“Cairo?” With a jolt of surprise, Cairo recognizes the voice as Kate’s. Despite Cairo’s lack of response, she continues hesitantly anyway. “Cairo, I know you’re in here.” 

Cairo briefly considers pretending she’s not there before realizing she’s visible from underneath the stall. She sniffs, wipes her face, and stands up, unlocking the door. 

Kate takes one look at her and makes a move as if to hug her, but clearly thinks better of it. “The bathroom isn’t really a good place to sit. Germs on the floor.”

Cairo looks at her. “Yeah, I guess.”

“So let’s go outside.” Cairo thinks she must have lost her mind. 

“We have class,” she points out. “We can’t skip.”

“Sure we can,” Kate says, shrugging. “Come on, follow me.” Well, why not, she figures.

Cairo doesn’t really remember how they got outside. The bell must have rung, because the halls are empty, but she can’t recall hearing it. All she knows is that Kate dragged her through the building and now they’re sitting in a hidden spot in the courtyard, a place known among the students as a good place to skip class, seeing as none of the teachers know of its existence. Surprisingly, there are no other people in sight. 

“Why are we out here?” Cairo says, breaking the silence. 

Kate sighs, still not looking at her. “Like I said, the bathroom is dirty. Not a great place to sit. No one will bother us here either.”

“Yeah, but why do you care?” It isn’t a secret that Kate and Cairo have never really liked each other. Riley used to complain after practices that half Cairo’s attention was always on the other girl, not on the routines. Something about the other girl just rubbed her the wrong way, though. 

Kate finally faced her. “Because I wasn’t going to leave you sobbing your eyes out on a dirty bathroom floor.” 

Cairo scowls, opens her mouth to say something about the fact that she was not sobbing her eyes out, and closes it as she realizes that she kind of was. Kate raises an eyebrow at her, and her scowl deepens. “I would’ve left you.” 

“I know,” Kate says simply. “And I almost left you. But… I know what it’s like to lose your best friend. And it sucks. It really, really sucks. And sometimes you end up crying in a bathroom stall. And the one person who would’ve noticed you were gone and come to find you and comfort you is the one you’re missing most of all. So I wasn’t going to leave you there alone, not when she already did.” 

Cairo’s crying again. She hates crying, especially in front of Kate of all people, but she can’t help it. “You’re not supposed to be this nice.” Kate looks confused again, and she opens her mouth to say something, but Cairo cuts her off. “You’re supposed to hate me. You do hate me. And we’ve hated each other for years. I bullied you for no reason, I mocked you when Chess… when Chess died, and here you are, comforting me. And over Riley! She killed Chess! My best friend killed your best friend, and you’re comforting me for missing her.” 

She finally looks at Kate, ready for Kate to realize she’s right and yell at her before leaving, but instead Kate’s crying. “Yeah, your best friend sucks,” she admits, and Cairo lets out a surprised little choked half-laugh, and then they’re both crying harder and somehow laughing through it. Once she’s calmed down, Kate continues, “Just because we don’t often get along doesn’t mean that I’m just going to leave you crying in the bathroom alone. And I don’t think you would’ve left me either, not when it actually comes down to it. And,” she turns to Cairo, her eyes fierce and watery, “you can’t blame yourself for what Riley did. That’s not anywhere near your fault. No one could’ve seen it coming, not even you.” 

“Thanks,” Cairo says, her voice coming out as a whisper. Kate offers her a gentle smile before facing forward again. They sit quietly for a while. It feels… surprisingly nice. Cairo hadn’t realized how much she needed to vent, and now that she has, it feels like a little bit of the weight she’s been carrying has been lifted. She’s not sure how much she believes Kate, but just hearing what the other girl had said has helped her come a little closer to accepting it.

“The bell’s going to ring soon,” Kate said after some time. “We should head back in a few minutes.” Cairo nods. 

“How’s Annleigh holding up?” Cairo asks, thinking of the other girl who’d lost people that night.

“She’s- well, she’s not fine. But she’s getting there. We Skype pretty often, usually in the middle of the night, and we talk about them. Do you want to join the calls?” Kate offers. 

Cairo shakes her head. “No. No, I’m alright. But…” she hesitates. At Kate’s encouraging nod, she continues, “Can we do this again sometimes? It helped to talk.”

“Yeah, we can. Just let me know when, alright?” Kate passed her phone over. “Put your number in and just shoot me a text.”

“I already have your number, remember? Team captain and all that,” Cairo reminds her, handing the phone back. 

“Oh yeah! You’re the new team captain. I’d forgotten about that. How are you holding up with it?” Kate asks. 

“I’m worried about it. I’m not really a people person, that was always her job. I don’t think I’ll be anywhere near as good,” Cairo admits. It’s funny, she thinks. Before today she never would’ve told Kate of all people this. But there’s something about crying your eyes out with a person over your dead or imprisoned best friends that really lets you open up easily. 

“Hey, the bar’s pretty low on this one. Just don’t murder and you’ll already be doing better than she ever was,” Kate points out with a wry smile on her face. 

Cairo chuckles a bit and looks down. “Yeah, I guess.”

“You’ll do fine. Trust me.” Before Cairo has a chance to dispute this, Kate is checking her watch and standing up. “The bell is about to ring. Come on, let’s head in.” 

Cairo takes the hand offered to her and stands up as well. “Thanks again for this.” 

Kate smiles at her. “Much better than a dirty bathroom stall, isn’t it?”

Cairo laughs and smiles back. “Very much so, yes.”

The bell rings, and the halls fill with students as they sneak back in. Cairo waves to Kate and heads to her next class. The seat next to her doesn’t feel quite so empty, and she thinks that maybe, just maybe, she’ll be alright. 

[starwarsfic]

I.14

Originally posted July 28, 2020

Summary: "See your first Padawan there?" Qui-Gon joked beside him, studying the group of toddlers.

Details: Dark disaster lineage time travel AU.

xxxxxx

Everything hurt.

"Xan!"

Burning, he was burning.

"Xan! Please!"

There was a shift, a flurry of activity, and then he was lying down on cool grass, staring up at...at his mother's face.

"What...?"

She sobbed when he responded, clutching him and crying into his chest, and he looked around, taking in where they were, who was there.

He remembered this place. These people.

When he started to move, realizing the burning was not only gone, but that he felt better than he had in years, he couldn't help but notice how small he was.

How young.

A commotion to their side drew his attention to his father, charging through the small crowd of servants, a medic at his heels.

His father. His mother. His old home.

There was no Death, no afterlife. Which meant....

He had a lot of things to think about.

***

Xanatos froze, staring at the Youngling that had just started stumbling its way down the hallway behind the others. He didn't spend much time in the creche, having little love for the noise and mess, and he'd somehow managed to forget how much time has passed.

"See your first Padawan there?" Qui-Gon joked beside him, studying the group of toddlers.

He almost choked at the idea, felt Master Dooku shift beside him. When he'd come back, he'd decided to go about consolidating power differently. It had been less than a year before Qui-Gon found him and he decided that becoming a Jedi would still work out best. Leaving as a Knight would get him far less scrutiny and he'd retain some allies in the Order if he played things right. 1

When he returned to the Temple, it was to find he wasn't the only one that got this second chance. And what his Grandmaster had told him...well, they had much more to prepare themselves for, now.

"Xan?"

Sucking in a breath, he looked at his Master (who he was enjoying breaking much more slowly and precisely this time), then back at the little boy who would have been his greatest legacy.

The choice presented to him was just too good to resist.

"I...I think I have."

He walked forward, catching Obi-Wan's curious gaze, and the boy went willingly into his arms, snuggling into his hold as Xanatos projected comfort into the Force around them.

Master Dooku stepped up beside them, gently stroking the boy's hair. He'd told Xanatos much of his brother Padawan's tragic future, always tinged with the regret that Obi-Wan had never joined him. Unlike Feemor with his peasant family or the uncouth slave boy that Qui-Gon had wanted to replace all three of them with, Obi-Wan had been properly raised and even during their frenetic encounters, had rarely seemed less than civilized. It was no wonder Dooku had respected him over the dregs of the rest of his remaining lineage.

While Xanatos didn't know the adult Obi-Wan, he did remember him as a child. He remembered the way he worshipped Qui-Gon, the way he twisted himself around trying to become exactly what his Master wanted. He would have died just to have Qui-Gon's approval.

Xanatos wouldn't be as foolish as Qui-Gon, he would take full advantage of that. In his mind's eye, he could already imagine the General Kenobi that Dooku had told him of, loyal to Xanatos.

"Hello, little one," he murmured, stroking Obi-Wan's cheek. "I'll be your master someday soon."

****

He's surprised how much Obi-Wan has remained the same, without the crushing inferiority complex of a washed out Initiate weighing him down. Dooku had said the other version of him had been the ideal Jedi--the sort who would never Fall, who could fight superior opponents and win from skill not power, selfless and self-sacrificing. Xanatos had assumed most of that came from childhood abuse.

But in this timeline, Obi-Wan was one of the few Initiates who grew knowing they already had a Master and became a Padawan at the earliest age to a well-regarded, dashing Knight. A Master who visited often during his time in the creche and had no problem getting any bullies to back off (and if some of them were punished in ways that the Jedi would never know of, well, that was a master's perogative). And yet Obi-Wan still seemed to disbelieve just how good at all the Jedi business he was.

Xanatos thought maybe he was incapable of seeing such truths, since he thought Xanatos was an amazing Jedi and Xanatos was a Sith pretending to be a Jedi.

Or, at least, as much of a Sith as someone could get, completely removed from Bane's line and learning in secret as he and Dooku were.

Still, there was something so...flattering about his regard that Xanatos found himself trying to live up to it when he could. Helping people he would have ignored, biting back criticism at the non-humans, only snarking slightly at the uneducated and foolish. Pretending he thought these backwater planets deserved Jedi helping them.

He was still, of course, destroying Qui-Gon's mind and soul little by little behind Dooku's back. And running some companies from the shadows that no version of Obi-Wan would ever approve of. And plotting the downfall of both the other Sith and the Jedi.

But he had some time to waste, all of his plans too long-term, enough that he could be kind to strangers in return for Obi-Wan's bright smiles. Could go out of mission parameters to help more just to overhear Obi-Wan talking in awed tones about him to his peers.

Xanatos could understand why Yoda thought Obi-Wan could save Qui-Gon from himself in the last life. He also found Qui-Gon even more pathetic for not realizing what sort of treasure he'd had.

****

"Stop! Please!"

Xanatos stared in horror as his Padawan--who was supposed to stay safe on the ship--threw himself into the battlefield, his lightsaber lit...and catching Master Dooku's blade before it could strike down another Mandalorian.

The blade shut off an instant later, Dooku hurriedly stepping back as if to show he was no threat.

Obi-Wan was thirteen, tiny, and still so soft-hearted that Xanatos thought it might be an affect of his very soul, not just his upbringing. He shouldn't have been anywhere near Galidraan, especially after he and Dooku had decided it should go similar to the last time to keep Mandalore destabilized, but the Council had foolishly thrown him into the mission.

And he must have felt the death and pain from all the way back at the ship. He looked like he'd run the entire way, breathing hard but so sure of himself.

"What are you doing?! We're peacekeepers, not--not murderers!"

A few of the Knights had already turned off their sabers, horror echoing around them like they'd only just realized what they were doing. The Mandalorians were using the distraction to regroup, huddling together and trying to save some of their injured. Many of their blasters were still pointed at the Jedi, but none anywhere near Obi-Wan.

"Get out of the way, brat!" Vosa started, actually looking like she planned to attack the Padawan.

That Dooku had ever thought he could raise her differently still baffled Xanatos.

"Adiik," a Mandalorian shifted towards Obi-Wan, others following, as though they could defend him.

And then Xanatos finally moved, fury flushing through him and making it so, so hard to conceal his Darker nature. "Don't even think about it, Vosa."

He stood next to and a little in front of Obi-Wan, now, facing down his Master's sister Padawan, unintentionally defending the Mandalorians. Any doubts about his actions he had were banished when Obi-Wan's free hand gripped his robe, their bond shivering with his Padawan's adoration.

She scoffed. "Your attachment to the boy is clouding your senses."

"Your anger and fear are making yours questionable," he shot back, knowing the others would understand he was accusing her of near-Falling.

Before she could defend herself, Dooku gripped her arm, forcing it down. Xanatos met his eyes, trying to convey the new plan in just a few looks. Obi-Wan, from what he'd heard, had some Force-driven connection to Mandalore in the last life, and now he'd have the remains of the True Mandalorians owing him their lives. It couldn't be a coincidence.

***

Xanatos didn't normally approve of most of his Padawan's friends, he'd done his best over the years to isolate him more and more, making sure he was too busy to spend time with them, to distracted even to send them messages. His Padawan should be solely focused on him.

But Vos...had his uses. The Council was biding its time, waiting for him to Fall, and from what Dooku had said it would happen. And Vos came with Tholme, having a Shadow see Xanatos as an ally could never hurt.

So, Obi-Wan was allowed one friend, for all the headaches their exploits gave Xanatos. Two too-angry boys that no one would have wanted if they hadn't been chosen by Masters so young. Who would, as much as their exposure to Xanatos and Dooku, help guide each other to the Dark.

***

Dooku and he had been preparing for this moment perhaps more than any other. Too much hinged on one person and they'd gone back and forth for ages trying to decide if one of them wouldn't just take a detour and kill the kid.

Yet here they were, watching Qui-Gon twist himself into knots trying to get the Council to accept a nine year old as his Padawan.

Qui-Gon had asked Xanatos to watch the boy while he spoke with them (and Dooku, of course, was on the Council now, so he couldn't do it). Normally, even if Obi-Wan was newly Knighted and not technically under Xanatos' authority anymore he would have given the task to him.

But not for this child.

He did a good job at playing innocent, an even better job at hiding his Darkness behind a blinding amount of Force. But Xanatos now had his confirmation about what it was that meant just he and his Grandmaster had been brought back before.

Falling.

"Xan? I brought--oh, hello." Obi-Wan, with his impeccably annoying timing, walked into Xanatos' rooms to find him and Skywalker staring at each other.

Before Xanatos could decide on a reaction, Skywalker was moving, giving Obi-Wan a bright, adorable smile and trying to help him with the containers of food he'd brought. Qui-Gon must have told him at some point and now Obi-Wan, aware of how little Xanatos liked children, thought he was helping his Master.

"Hi! I'm Anakin!"

Obi-Wan smiled softly and introduced himself, keeping up a pleasant conversation with this boy he thought would be part of his grandmaster's lineage. He already seemed charmed.

As if sensing just how much Xanatos was seething at watching the young man who always put him first focused on some brat, Skywalker spared a moment when Obi-Wan's back was turned to give Xanatos a truly cruel smirk. It was chilling on a child and made him hesitate from interfering, not sure how Skywalker would react.

When Obi-Wan finally had to go to one of the classes he was an assistant instructor for, they were alone again. Xanatos was exhausted from keeping himself from driving his lightsaber through to the little monster's heart. And his frustration that his former Padawan just did not notice, thought Skywalker was adorable.

"They're going to make me an Initiate," Skywalker stated, cruel eyes locking on Xanatos again. "And I'm going to be Obi-Wan's Padawan."

"I didn't think that worked out so well for you, last time."

Choking, he was choking, just for a moment, just as a warning. He didn't even feel the Dark except right around his neck. What was this creature?

"He was my Padawan, not Qui-Gon's. You won't find him such a pushover."

"He's mine. He'll always be." Skywalker's face was twisted and ugly, his hands clenching at his sides.

Xanatos gritted his teeth, knowing he didn't want to upset Skywalker too much. He would just have to make sure Obi-Wan took someone else as a Padawan, first. Assuming the boy wouldn't kill them. Which...Dooku had said part of the plan Sidious had for Skywalker's Fall involved slaughtering the whole creche.

"There are plans in place, Dooku and I have spent decades--"

"I don't care what your ineffectual plans are, I know exactly what needs to be done. Either you help me or you're standing in my way. You don't want me as your enemy."

Despite the threat coming from a nine year old, Xanatos knew the words were true.

xxxxxx

A/N: So, as I mentioned on my tumblr, this started out as an idea that Xanatos came back in time to just before his Trials and then Obi-Wan also goes back in time to just before Naboo (aka his Trial) and shenanigans. And I might still write that at some point, but instead this one was what actually happened.

For this, basically, the disaster lineage members who Fell are the ones who get sent back in time, to just a little before they're taken by the Jedi.

Anakin is still dark here because like two seconds of doing something good because his kid is otherwise going to die after like twenty years of committing genocide and shit isn't really the same thing as a true redemption lbh And I guess you could say this assumes Force ghosts don't exist or something like that lol

Quinlan included in this because you're all freaking obsessed with him lol

[hogwardsgossip]

Just you and me, and cake of course, lots of cake ( Fred Weasley Imagine )

request: Can you do an imagine where the reader is being bullied and is self harming and Fred finds out and is super sweet and adorable? Please? Warning!! There is self harm included!! p>

Feeling different and excluded by others is probably the worst feeling. She never really felt like that in her entire life but since she came to Hogwarts, everything suddenly changed. Y/N is now 16 years old, she is skinny because she is afraid to eat infront of others since every one is calling her fat even though she totally isn´t, she wears her hair in a ponytail because every one says her hair is disgusting and she never looks up because she doesn´t want to bother any one with her ugly face. Her parents are muggles and apparently this is a huge problem, especially for the Slytherins. She doesn´t understand why because havinf muggle parents don´t make her a worse witch. The worst of all her bullies is definitely Draco Malfoy and his gang. When ever she hears his voice, she hides some where and almost gets a heart attack every time she was near him. Having classes with him is even worse. She has the worst luck and was seated right next to him. Every time she sits next to him, she tries to pretend he isn´t there but that´s way harder than she thought. You might think, if you can´t stand a person, you wouldn´t even spent your time talking or noticing the person. But Draco is using his entire energy to bully her and make her life harder than it should be. Today it was one of the days where she had class with Draco. She was walking down the hallway with her head down praying he wouldn´t be there even though she knew he would. She was sweaty because she was wearing a hoodie in the summer. Y/N was lost in her thoughts and didn´t saw the red headed tall boy standing the middle of the hallway. She ran into him and trembled an excuse “ o-oh m-my, I-I didn´t see you I´m s-so sorry.” She didn´t dare to watch up and actually see who she ran into, as though that could make everything worse since she was convinced that her face is too ugly to be seen.That was the reasom why she rushes away to her classroom nad overheared that guy saying “ No worries, every thing is good. It was my fault not yours !” When she arrived at the class Draco was already there. He sat on his chair, she took a deep breath in, looked at the ground and made her way towards her chair. She put her bag on the table and began unpack it silently, without making one noise. When she finished she wanted to sit on her chair but Draco pulled the chair away and she fell on the ground. Every one started laughing “ hahaha loook at you mudblood, laying on the ground! Well, that´s where you belong to.” She stood up and sat herself on the chair. She was red as a tomato and tried to ignore his mean words. Swalling the tears. “ I always thought you Gryffendors would be confident and full of courage but I don´t see that in you. You rather look like a homeless rat. Maybe they put you in the wrong house or even in the wrong school because honestly you don´t belong to any of ous” He said grinning and it seemed like every one agreed with him. During the class he was quite. They had Snape and it would turned out bad if he would have said anything. Even though none of the teachers have ever said anything against the harassment that was happening. After class Y/N tried to get out of the classroom as fast as she could but she wasn´t fast enough because right after she left the classroom some one pulled  Y/H/C hair. She didn´t even need to turn around to see that it was Draco. “ Hey disgusting. Can you do me a favour?  “ he said with a fake nice voice. Y/N dared to look in his angry face. “ Stop sweating you fat pig and please, can you never ever come back to this school again?? That would be really nice of you and I mean look around. There is not even one person who likes you or your face.” Y/N´s heart was hurting, her head was hurting because Draco pulled so hard. She couldn´t hold her tears back. One tear after another rolled down her cheek. Finally Draco let go of her and she ran on to the girls toilet. She closed the door and started sobbing.Why are the like that? What have I done wrong ? she thought and started to roll up the sleeves of her hoodie. Scars are all over her arms, some faded already but some were fresh. She took out a knife and searched for a place to cut. She placed the knife and made a slow cut, closed her eyes and let pain go through her entire body. Tears were still running down her cheeks. Blood ran from her skinny arms and she did another cut. Y/N couldn´t believe what a huge impact other people had on her by just bulliying her or by simply say nothing. She started sobbing again and breathing heavily. Overhearing the door that some on opened “man this is ridiculus “ a male voice said. She stopped sobbing and hold her breath, she hoped that he hasn´t heared her yet. But he did. “Hello? Is there some one crying ? Or is this how women´s bathrooms are?” He asked. This sentance  conjured a little smile on her face, what a weird boy she thought. She heared steps walking closer to her door and suddenly she realized how serious this situation was. He would find her crying with blood all over her arms and then he would laugh at her and probably will tell every one about it. She pulled the sleeves of her hoodie over her bloody arms. “knock, knock” the boy knocked on the toilet door. “ Hey, are you okay ? “ he asked and he sounded worried. “ Yes please leave, I´m totally fine. “ She tried to speak as happy as she could and prayed that the boy would finally leave. What is he doing here anyways? she asked herself. “ Well doesn´t sound like you would be okay actually. Why don´t you just come out and we talk a bit? “ he said with a calm voice. “ Can´t you just leave? I really want to be alone.” Not true. She doesn´t want to be alone. All she wants is a friend with whom she can talk to, some one she can trust. But she was sure that this weird guy, standing in  the girls restroom definitley wasn´t a potential friend. “ I´m not going.” The boy answered with a strong determined voice. “ I don´t know you and also, you are in the girls restroom that´s illegal I guess.” “I don´t care. So either come out now, or I get in.” She couldn´t believe him because why should some one she doesn´t know care for her wellbeing? Suddenly a boy was standing infront of her. She was shocked and looked up in his with widened eyes. It was the red headed boy from earlier! “ Wow.” He said. Y/N turned red and looked back at the ground. She totally forgot how disgusting she is. Also her eyes must be puffy and red because of all the crying. “ You are the girl who ran into me! “ he said. “ Yes, I-I´m sorry” she trembled. “ Oh no it was totally my fault! I was standing in the middle of the hallway.” She didn´t say anything. “Okay and now tell what´s wrong? and ..” His look went to the blood on the ground and then he saw the there was blood tripping from her arm on the ground. “ You didn´t cut yourself, did you ? “ He asked totally shocked. She swallowed, she tried to find a way to escape but his huge body was blocking the door. He then softly grabbed her  arm, she didn´t even try to push him away because she knew that it wouldn´t make a difference.He pulled her sleeves up and looked at all the scars. “Why?” He said and looked into her eyes. In his eyes she couldn´t see and hate or disgust but what she saw was grief and worry? Tears were suddenly rolling down her cheeks and started to talk. She told him what Draco did to her and what they call her. She told how loney and ugly she feels and how much she wanted to leave this place. “ I don´t even know why I trust you all this, I mean I don´t even know your name and you could tell that every one and then there is even more hate against me. “ All the time she was talking, he said nothing, He just looked at her. “ shhh, I´m not going to tell anyone and my name is Fred Weasley.” “ Y/N Y/L/N”  “ Listen Y/N, don´t listen to what other people say. Especially not Draco, I mean have you looked at his hair? You are beautiful just the way you are! You really are beautiful and not fat! “ He said and looked into her eyes. A little smile was built on her face “ Well, I-I …no you are just saying it because you feel like you need to.” He raised an eyebrow “ No I´m not. You are truley beautiful. And I think we should go on a cake date. Eat cake all day long and drink tea.” She started laughing  because she couldn´t believe his words. “ What are you saying?” “ When you smile amd laugh you are even more beautiful do you know that? “ He said and smiles at her. “ Stop that´s weird. “ Y/N said but smiled for the after a long time. “ We will have a date, maybe two, three or more: Just you and me. And cake, lots of cake. And lots of smiles. I will make you smile every day from now on, I promise. “ He said and pulled her into a tight hug. She didn´t believe him but it felt good to be hugged and in his larged arms, she felt saved for the first time.                                                                                                                           

[fujoshigirlceere-blog]

The Close Feelings

The Close Feelings

by:fgc

Story Line:

When loves comes around just right at the corner in an unexpected time, that feelings can't be stopped.

This happened to the 16 year old Kazu, it was a faithful day that he met his childhood friend Aki again in the same school, they may be best of friends but as soon as they started hanging out more Kazu's feelings changed towards Aki it was not a normal feeling but rather more than he can imagine...it is a feeling of love.

Will Kazu be able to tell the truth about his feelings towards Aki? And will the two of them be able to accept each other more than just best friends?

 Epilogue...

I was alone at that time, my family was shattered into pieces...I was the only child, saw my parents fight and it was unfortunate to see. During my childhood days  my father took me away from my mother's care, he saw my mother hasn't really progressed in taking care of me. I was introduced to my step mother and a sister, my father's new family; I went to school for the first time it was my kindergarten year, I thought to myself I'm gonna lonely again in class but after I introduced myself a kid 1 year older than me became my friend his name is Aki he had tidy appearance like a rich kid will look like what surprised me is that we instantly became really close like real best friends, we grew up together went to same school in middle school... until one day he had to go to US for the whole year and transfer in a new school it was during our 7 year in middle school, it was the last time I saw Aki's smiling face and I was left alone again...

 I woke up at 6am to get ready for school, I always do the same routine; get up, wash my face, brush my teeth, dress up in my school uniform, eat breakfast and go to school, my life is boring without someone to talk to it's like my whole world is black and white....

I arrived at my high school at 7:00am, I was on time always and never gets late. As I was walking down the hallway to my classroom, a girl bumped into me...

loud thud

'Uwaaaah~! ouch that hurt!' I said

the girl also grunted and got up her feet quickly to look at me and helps me get up too

'Aw, oh I'm sorry really I didn't mean to I was rushing to give this papers to the register's' she said nodding her head sincerely

'Nah it's okay it didn't really that hurt a lot, here let me help you pile the papers' I said

We helped each other piling the papers neatly, I felt like the girl was looking at while we pile the papers...

'Thanks I owe you one' she thanked me happily 'by the way I'm Miyuki'

'Nah no need to thank me, I'm Kazu please to meet you Miyuki' I said smiling 'Well I got to go I still have classes, see you around' as I run fast to catch the time

As I entered my classroom, sat on my desk next to the windows just by the right side where I can see the clear sky and breathe the air... the teacher arrived and announced that there will be two new students that is going join the class, as the door opened a guy with a soft and silky dark hair appeared; his eyes were pierced and his features were so handsome that everyone began to whisper each other and gasped at his charm then a girl followed him inside too it was the girl who I bumped into in the hallway this morning I was like 'it's you I met you' then she looked at me like we met each other a long time she waved at me happily and she loudly said 'Oh it's you Kazu hi~!'  I just smiled, as I looked at the guy he sharply looked at me like he knew me and said 'Kazu huh?' and he grinned a little at the sound of my name. I gulped in fear imagining he might bully after class, I was shaking and wasn't able to hear what his name was because I was staring blankly nervously....

After class I decided to go home alone, as I was fixing my things the new guy came before me and said:

'Why don't we go home together, Kazu?' smiling sinisterly

'Ugh...no thanks I'm fine' Insisted

'You know I was thinking you know me right? did you had amnesia?' he said leaning closely to me

'Eh? No way I knew you we just met' I said nervously

'HAHAHAHA you're funny Kazu-crybaby' he said

'Wait wtf! Aki?! is that really you?'

'Yep it's me, Andy was my name when I was in America but you can call me that if you want to' he said smiling

'Omg how long have you been here?' I said while shaking his shoulders

'Since last month, I transferred school cause in America it was hella boring..Want to hang out again?' he said happy

'Of course! Why would anyone wouldn't  want to hang out with you, you're fun to be with and also funny' I giggled

There was started hanging out again just like the old times, I wouldn't imagine that my childhood best friend will come back home in Japan again and study in the same school as me that all the time I think about him makes me feel like flying because I love everything about him his smile, his eyes and everything he's just as perfect as a rose in the middle of a field waiting for me to pick it up.. We hang a lot, until I had the urge to confess my feelings for him..

'Umm Aki, I uh..wanted to tell you how I feel about you..' I said shyly as I was looking down the floor while were walking downtown

'Huh? What do you mean feel about me?' he asked curiously

'Well I was wondering I might as well tell this to you since it's bothering me..I wanted to tell you that I..'

'What?'

'I...I'm in love with you Aki!' I confessed as I bowed my head in front of him

'Hey now I don't get you okay but is it a bit wrong to love a guy which in fact you are also a guy?' he said teasingly

'I'm serious about how I feel that's why I want to tell you I love you Aki please I beg you I wanted to know how you feel about me and I--'

'That's enough Kazu, this is wrong I knew I shouldn't have hangout with you it's a waste of time I felt disgusted at you Kazu..I need to go I have some things to do at home, bye.' he run quickly leaving me out of his sight

I was really a stupid jerk to believe he would love me back, my knee went weak I went home crying again.. I thought to myself 'I'm alone again thanks to you Kazu you scared him away' there I was crying all night.

I didn't went to school for a week because of my heartbreak, because Aki refused to love me back and he became angry at me.. I said to my self

 'He'll ignore me for sure, that's why I'm staying home once and for all'

 As I was going down the stairs, my father approached me.. 'Someone handsome good-looking friend of yours is looking for you..'

I said 'Oh okay I'll meet him in a bit I need to change clothes' then I hurriedly went to my room to change my shirt I thought to myself maybe it's Aki who was looking for me..

I went to our living room, I was right it was Aki who was looking for me..

'Hey I was worried about you..I-'

'No need it was all cool besides we don't need to discuss that, why are you here anyways' I said annoyingly

'I wanted to apologize after what I had said, I was in shock and-'

'Wait can we talk privately not here my family might overhear us'

We went straight to my bedroom which is the farthest room on the second floor, so that no one can hear our conversation there so we decided to talk there..

'So what do you want to tell me?' I said

'Well I want to say I'm sorry to what happened I was shocked you confessed to me bravely, I realize you're too precious to lose so I...I'm sorry Kazu' he said while his head was looking down too guilty to look at me

(Oh I can't resist his puppy innocence I'll forgive him now..)

'Alright I forgive you..but I want you to tell me truthfully, do you love me too now?' I said smiling and embarrassed

He said suddenly grabbed both of my hands and confessed  'Yes from the bottom of my heart I love you Kazu, I never realize I'm comfortable with you whenever you are around I..I can't live without you!'

'Shhh! Aki don't shout' I said blushing

He whispered to my ears instead 'Yes I do love you now~' he said in a soft low voice

We then looked at each other really close, our forehead and nose are touching each other, then Aki was trying to French kiss me, I can't stop the sensation lingering through our tongue.. We lost control until he lay me on the bed and start talking off his shirt and my shirt, we kissed each other finally I said to myself 'he loves me too...'

We decided to make love at that night, I still can't forget the sweet sensation of our promise forever connection with each other... I love Aki he is mine and mine forever.

After what happened I was laying on my bed with my clothes on it was already morning when I woke up, I realize then was it a dream? My phone rang and it was a text from Aki saying..

 From: Aki

Subject: Ohayou My Love

Message:

How is your sleep? rise and shine my sweet Kazu, now get up and get your ass to school! hehe I Love You :* <3 ps; I can't wait to see you again in your kawaii uniform, and don't be late! :* see you later ^^

Love, Aki <3

 ('silly Aki..') I smiled laughing to myself.. I manage to get up and ready myself to school, it was 7:00am when I got to school. Aki waited for me at the entrance, he greeted me..

'Good morning' smiling handsomely

'Good morning as well' I said smiling back

It was a beginning of our new relationship, a bloomed flower of love during my high school years... We spent each other's lives together happy and loving each other until our very next future.

 THE END.

or was it the end?

>>PART 2 of Close Feelings<< SOON but diff. title :P