#i cant talk about stuff that would make me feel better cause it would make someone else feel worse
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the masculine urge to take a saucepan off thr draining board and bash myself repeatedly over the head with it until I pass out and no longer have to experience feeling Bad 😍
#struggling to tolerate this one ngl its fucking dire this weekend. i just cant do this man#thr things i would fucking do for attention please. just one person to notice and care in the slighest i feel like im losing my fucking#mind out here how does every single person who has ever mattered to me in my lifr see me in distress and choose to ignore it or maybe they#dont even recognise im ij distress in the first place i dont know whats worse i dont think i hide it well at all im just so done#listen like ultimately its fucking fine. i will get myself through it like ive gotten myself through everything else in my fuckijg life#i dont even feel bad that often these days im doing so so so much better and its so much more tolerable to only have to deal with this#once or twice a week instead of it being a struggle every single day like i dont think i could go back to feeling like that again ever i#dont know how i managed to get througyh it before jesus fucking christ. but i can deal with it i can deal with this#ik ill feel fine tomorrow. its just thr fact im so desperately fucking alone with it that makes it so much worse than it has to be#i fucking hate repression i hate being so incapable of expressing myself that its easier for me to injure myself than it is to talk about#how i feel to anyone i hate being trapped in this stupif fucking torture labyrinth and not knowing how to get out of it and never being#given a single avenue anything to hold onto i hate having to do it alone every single fucking time and when i do try i just freeze out#entirely i cant form a coherent thought my brain enters total fucking shutdown pure static white noise fuzz and i dont know why please#its so unfair i dont think its that much to want a little comfort. just once just for someone to stay with me while i cry it doesnt have#to be more than that i just dont want to be alone like this i just want to feel safe around someone just close to someone just once#and well ill survive without it bc i always have i guess. so far at least. and there are many things im grateful for and i do in general#feel pretty okay my life is pretty good at times even. i feel so pathetic and stupid and ashamed for even feeling like this#but do i have to go my entire life without ever experiencing any kind of real intimacy with another person emotionally that is#i mean physical is nice too and they go hand in hand in some ways but i just want to feel seen and safe over anything.im tired#i feel like i try.but not hard enough i know its all my fault really but i dont know how to try any harder but nothing will ever change if#i dont i cant expect anyone to do anything if i cant rven communicate in thr first place. oh i dont want to think about it anymore#i have a headache from crhing and its not even 8pm ugh. okay. well it is what it is.#ill breathe until i calm down and then tidy up whatever i left in the kitchen and get my work stuff ready for tmr#and polish my boots maybe. and read and go to bed at 9:30 i think. and ill feel fine in the morning#my fault for thinking about it earlier i know i shouldve nipped it earlier on its such an easy spiral to fall into i need to get better#it happens. okay anyway. no cause for concern im good guys. weakly thumbs up at the camera all covered in blood#my period is late actually thats probably all this is lmao. makes sense thinking abt it#cant wait for it to finally start and all earthly desire to leave my body so i never experience pain again amen#.vent#ignore this sorry for being mentally ill im not even that mentally ill anymore so no excuse rly ummmm. bit embarrassing innit.
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#i hate the fact that im so conditioned to put everyone else ahead of my own feelings cause it just makes me feel like shit at times#i cant talk about stuff that would make me feel better cause it would make someone else feel worse#i cant express my feelings properly cause i feel like it makes everyone else uncomfortable#which makes them hate me. and leave me. like has been the cycle so many years in the past#so i bottle it up. tell myself its okay they dont need to know. and then it torments me but im so scared to say anything#cause i will be the villain no matter what they say. i know it. and then i'll end up alone. yet again#thats just how it is. thats how it always has been. always will be#i should honestly accept it that im meant to be always alone and just cut everyone out of my life before i really do hurt someone#well. more than i probably already have#anyways...#night is an absolute mess on main
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aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰
#ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙#tape entry circa 1980#ngl ive been feeling like a bit sad like... i just miss them sm hfdjks#i just wish so SO soso so badly that i could go home to them both back in the 80s#to be w the loves of my life but ALSO to have someone i can talk music to and we can just talk abt music for hours <33#i can just talk abt it to them and theyll completely understand and give their own thoughts abt whatever song/band/album im talking abt#and id love to hear them go on long insane rants abt their own favorite albums and for them to show me a new album they listened to#something theyd know i like cause we love the same music genres#fuck i just miss them so much... they understand me more than anyone and get along w me more than ANYONE#i couldnt even try to imagine a person who better suites me than them even if i tried to create the perfect person for me#they just ARE already the epitome of perfection for me like we were made to know and love eachother to get along so well to be inseparable#i love them... god i love them both so much just thinking about them always makes me cry#i almost never cry its only ever because of them that i cry...#i miss them so so fucking much i keep thinking about them throughout the day#just imagining me being w them to be able to kiss and hold them and show them just how much i love them both#actually today i was picturing them here w me which is something i never do#i just love and miss them... i feel lonely and just ah... idk i wish i could go off on an adventure w them rn#i want to escape the life im living rn and just run off on the road w them chasing after our dream of being rockstars#tbh id also just love to experience the train together and get to see all that crazy stuff yknow? would make good song writing material lol#idk i feel like i cant truly get into how much i truly love and miss them w/o sounding super depressed and pathetic tbh#so i keep holding myself back from really expressing how i feel abt them
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:( tummy hurts
#and now im hella anxious about it making it worse#like i was really nauseous the week before last and i threw up three days but then was fine so idk#like i wiuld get really nauseous throw up and then be absolutely fine after#and now im like really stressed about it becaus emy dad just died of esophageal cancer#and my mom keeps talking about how its slow growing and you assume it must be something for yesrs#until suddenly you cant swallow or keep food down and then yoy dound out you have it#like i understand i likely dont have it but my brain says its a possibility and im focused on it for obvious reasons#idk maybe it would be helpful to do like a scan of something to ease my worries you knoe? but also thats expensive#and i doubt anybody would even listen to me#like they originally diagnosed my dad eith a heatial hernia like an esophagus hernia which was very wrong my mom kept badgering him#then the found it the second time so yeah#idk im very stressed about it and honestly just want to get a scan or something to know for sure and be done with it#because i doubt treating the more likely cause (acid reflux) and that working will make me feel much better#cause like if i take an acod reducer for a few weeks and i get better ehat if its like not really that#and it like prolongs the stuff you know? idk im just very anxious lol#ill be okay just eorking through things
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Bones Bones Bonesss wc Star full book spoilers already out in the wild (forums)......... Looking forward to your thoughts when it officially comes out (or whenever!) cause. I will not say. But ohhhhhh it sure was a book............ :33
You know I'll also be doing a full read when I get my grubby paws on a copy, but I do have some strong feelings assuming that the leaks are totally accurate!
The no-spoiler version of my opinion; BOY this ending is a stinker. This arc truly was a blundering mess of lost potential and wasted time. As someone who still feels the first few books were STRONG setups, from 3 onwards I feel like I've been watching a train run out of track and derail in a slow, pitiful fashion.
It's not even a FAST trainwreck. The ending was predictable insofar as they clearly had no good climax or message in mind. Infact it's kind of a marvel how utterly bloodless this arc was, and how any violence they DID show came out of left field because they failed to build up to it.
HOWEVER. I am not just a reader, I'm a scavenger. This stuff is GREAT for BB. The ending gave me the most important pieces I need, and now I know how BB!ASC is going to rework it.
But I'll not get ahead of myself; quickly, I'll just talk raw first impressions of the spoilers.
(As always, take this with a grain of salt and the knowledge that the spoilers may be incorrect. Opinions may change once I read the book myself.)
Splashstar is a garbage villain. He is absolutely bottom-tier for me.
His "amorality" comes out of nowhere and quite frankly he reads like a Chick Tract Evil Atheist.
I don't get how people can accept the way the characters call him "manipulative" when his plots are utterly brainless.
He is the type of naunceless evil that makes me want to hurl. Splash reads like a writer trying to "repeat" the evil of Tigerstar without any of the intelligence of early TPB.
Tigerstar was a RESPECTED warrior. He leveraged his standing in the Clan to secretly carry out his assassinations and forge alliances. He was established strong to begin with.
Splash is like cat-18 and able to kill-no-miss strong warriors with his Evil Jump, and then keeps the Clan in line by holding his siblings hostage.
It makes me not understand how he has ANY followers, because he has no consistent ideology or rhetoric.
Anything they did use (like claiming he'd make the Clans strong and saying tigerheartstar wanted to take over the whole forest or whatever) isn't consistent because they failed to establish these over the SIX BOOKS THEY HAD.
It feels like he was only a legitimate threat for like 2 out of 6 books
And then he's dead in chapter 13. Halfway through the story. Incredibly lame.
I want to reserve my judgement on the Frostpaw vs Splashstar battle, but it's absurd on its face. Harelight went down in 1 hit but Frostpaw musters all her strength to use his move and overcome him?
I have to see it first before I conclude if it's something I want to salvage though. Sometimes fights just come across better when you're reading them.
But on the note of battles, it's frustrating how bloodless this arc was. We started off with tigerHeartstar invading and occupying RiverClan-- yet we're looking at a total body count of 5, with one heart attack and one illness.
And speaking of deaths.
Whoever decided to give Berryheart a redemption death should get offscreen greencough.
UTTER shite. You have this whole arc with radicalization as a major theme, show Berryheart trying to brutally murder her in-law with a snake, grabbing at power desperately to the point where she CHANGED CLANS to be Splash's deputy, and decide that her ideal ending is "she would die for her baby :(((("???
Ffffuuuuuck yoouuuuuuuuuuuu
This is why we can't have good, nuanced villains, these writers trip over themselves the MINUTE they have a sad parent. It could never actually STAY about power or politics, they cant allow a parent to truly be willing to sacrifice their child for their own ends.
No matter how badly or violently they treated you, They're Still Your Parent. Hogwash. I'm sick to death of this thought-terminating cliche.
Being a parent does NOT automatically mean they'd die for you. They already did this earlier with Curlfeather, and the absolute insult it is to the theme of radicalization aside, having Berryheart repeat that sacrifical death cheapens hers.
Now it's not that CURLFEATHER is the one who would never go so far as to allow her daughter to die for her own ends, contrasting Berryheart. It's Just What Moms Do.
And furthermore if they were going to do a "redemption death," it REALLY sucks that they decided to have Berryheart refuse to kill Yarrowleaf and not FRINGEWHISKER.
It's not even indicative of GROWTH or RECONSIDERING HER BELIEFS or anything. She won't kill her SISTER.
It might have meant something to have a chance for revenge and refuse it, but nooooo. Yarrowleaf. My god. Yarrowleaf.
and don't @ me about Yarrow being ex-kin, they both joined and rejected it at different times.
All that said...
There are some things I like here!
Frostdawn and Whistlebreeze getting their names at the same time was really sweet. I like them a lot.
Sometimes a predictable choice is the right one. Icewing becoming leader is a good move. Icestar my beloved.
I'm personally excited to get to Icey's leadership ceremony in my own rewrite, the canon one was as fanservice-wanky as you'd expect of modern arcs but I LOVE rewriting those.
Though I would have preferred Froststar, I'm ok with this.
The fracturing of RiverClan is a great move. I love the idea of there being a mass exodus following these events. It's wild we haven't gotten that before.
While I bemoan the awful politics and lack of setup, I do LIKE the idea on paper of there being "ex-Splash Supporters" to cause problems in future arcs. Not that these writers know what setup and payoff is, but hey, more for me.
I liked the sort of desperate feel of Frostpaw being exhausted in StarClan and deciding if she wants to go back or not. Im a little iffy on how much other cats PRESSURE her, though.
I need to read the chapters myself but I fear that it might not read like her own choice, but another thing that she's being forced into.
Shut UP Tree why are you HEREEE
The part where they all point out that without her, RiverClan wont have a holy messenger and that's bad, fits the consistent way the writers try to portray StarClan as a good thing when they're really not... but.
I think it would have made a fascinating moment for Frosty to realize that SHE is the one who really holds the power in this situation. What spirituality is going to look like in the future of her Clan is in HER paws now.
They are absolutely going to toss this potential away, but I guess the things I like most about the ending are the ways it kinda softly threatens the status quo.
The fracture of RC and the exodus of cats, Frostpaw deciding she will return and fix RiverClan, Icestar accepting help from the other Clans to fix the camp...
It's not ALL bad, it's just that the negatives outweigh the positives and this is exactly the kind of ending I feared. I hope that this isn't just a tease of a change to the status quo, but I've learned to not get my hopes up.
And, lastly, Owlnose deputy and Nightheart's ending chapter are just straight up beyond parody. I can't even be mad, they're such bad moves they're funny to me at this point.
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Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo
Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world
Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!
A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!
psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!
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Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.
Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.
“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.
“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.
“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.
“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.
“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.
Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.
“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.
“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.
I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.
“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.
“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.
“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.
“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.
“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.
“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.
“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.
“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.
“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.
“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”
“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.
“You trust me right?” he says curiously
“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”
“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.
“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.
“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.
“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.
His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.
“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.
“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.
I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.
“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”
“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.
“Nope,” I say softly
He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.
“H-how?” I stutter out.
“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.
“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.
“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off
“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off
“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”
I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.
“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.
He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.
“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little
“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.
He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.
“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.
“Yes” I bite my bottom lip
He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.
He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.
He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.
His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.
He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.
“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.
“Holy fuck” I gasp out.
Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.
“O-okay” I say nervously
“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.
I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.
“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.
His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.
“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.
He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.
“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach
“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.
“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.
He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.
“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.
“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.
“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.
“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.
He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.
“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.
“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.
“Are you sure?” he smirks.
“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.
“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.
“Okay,” I breathe out.
As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.
“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.
He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.
“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.
He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.
“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.
“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.
“S-so fucking big” I moan out.
He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.
“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.
“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.
I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.
“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.
With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.
“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.
“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.
“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.
“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.
“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.
“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.
“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.
The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.
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A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷
#Spotify#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#the sturniolo triplets#sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#sturniolo#chris sturniolo fanfic#fanfic#fan fiction#fan fic writing
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Thoughts for The Montkraken Episode
so, I just finished the chapter and… wow I have a lot to say. I took screen shots for every part I wanted to talk about and I think this rant will be SUPERRRR long so bear with me. Tumblr won’t let me add screenshots so when I have better service I’ll edit the post to add them. These paragraphs are theories and side notes that I wrote after reading a certain section so you’re gonna see my thought process throughout the story. As always, spoilers ahead so I recommend skipping this if you haven’t read it already.
Alright so I was once a hater of this ship BUT… the Shobaru shippers may have a point in this guys 😭. LIKE.. I HAVE THE SCREENSHOT OF SUBARU BLUSHING UHHH. That is not a heterosexual stare feller 🤨…
AHHHHHHH THE FROSTHEIM DUO ARE BACKKKKK!!! I missed them so so much they’re so silly and deserve the best. Honestly the only two I trust in this school cause I CANT. I literally suspect anyone but them, but Imma be so disappointed if either of them are hiding something. I’ll be sad, but like I’ll help 🙄. I was actually so sad when the MC mentioned being the reason they could be in danger like GIRLLLLL DONT SAY THAT PLEASEEEEE. ITS LIKE THE ANGST WITH ADEUCE AND YUU LIKE STAWPOPP. Also when the Vagastorm kids were like “aw yeah Mido wouldn’t lie like that” it makes me happy that people can at least trust him enough to be honest and idk I found that kinda sweet :3. We’re also getting a bit of a timeline, like the One-Eyed Sleeping Beauty Murder being BEFORE the clash (sorry if this was already mentioned I don’t really remember stuff from the past chapters) which could’ve been a trigger.
Also, I feel like they’re trying to tell us that Jiro is Zenji’s brother because when he had that little laugh about the MC being scared of bodies, he said too. When you click the “too?” option, he just says that he isn’t the one afraid. It’s not Yuri as well cause he’s literally a doctor that is in the same room when autopsies are in session. Whatever the case, I assume he was referencing to Zenji, though it being a blurry memory. Little theory tho.
OK SO THIS IS JUST SO FUNNY TO ME. In Chapter 9’s title it says, “Girl Learns Shocking Truth About Monster”. I like to think the shocking truth was the fact he didn’t shower for 3 days 😭. CAUSE THATS THE PART SHE SOUNDS MOST SHOCKED. Idk that part was silly to me. THEY’RE OUTFITS FOR THEIR DORM IS SOOOOOO PRETTY. They ate I fear, a bit more than the other dorms. Also side note, they dropped A LOT of info with just how they word things. For example, Yuri saying “Jiro, you are well aware that I will not be associated with those germs AGAIN.” Soooo Yuri was in Frostheim? I don’t doubt it bc there’s another line that says “I’d rather not recall how bitterly cold that place is” which can MEAN TWO THINGS. I’m super sure that they’re implying that yeah, he was, but then something happened blah blah blah.
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH HYDE AND DANTE??? Like ok bitches, spill your shot to us too don’t be shy. So, confirmed by them, Dante and Hyde used to go to school in Darkwick (which I assume the rest of the teachers are too). That explains their back and forth. WHAT REALLY CAUGHT MY EYE WERE THESE LINES.
Hyde: “…You really are a softie, Dan-Dan.” (Haha Dan- Dan)
Dante: “It would seem that way to someone as cold as you.” (???) “…There are lines that shouldn’t be crossed, Hyde.”
Hyde: “…I’ll keep that in mind.”
WHATTTTT. WHAT ARE THE LINES. GO IN DETAIL ARGHHHHH. This gives us more info on the character individually too. Dante describes Hyde as cold… DANTE. So, it was obvious that this whole happy go lucky attitude was fake, but I expected to be more like Haru’s kind of attitude not like that yk?? now I know how much of a cash grab this game is, but I really hope they aren’t going to stretch the story out too long to the point where you have to P2W cause I haven’t paid a cent and I don’t plan to. I still want to learn more about them and stuff so :(. On the topic of Dante, there was a small flashback where I missed a word in the sentence that Dante said while talking with Alan. “I’m the man you supposedly killed.” Supposedly?? Now, I didn’t my catch this in my first run, but now it’s like wdym supposedly?? Shouldn’t you know? This is giving hella Jiro vibes and honestly, I’m getting sick and tired of these characters having a bad memory.
SPEAKING OF JIRO- he seems to have problems remembering things and they come back to him in the very weird moments (honestly a kin moment). I would like the think that he’s just suffering from the damages he had to go through from the clash. His relationship with Yuri is so… sad to me. Yuri seems to doubt him a little bit and I feel like he sees him as just a specimen, not much of a friend. Meanwhile, Jiro smiles a lot to Yuri and listens to him like a master, like that’s what he’s supposed to do. NOT AGAINST HIS OWN WILL DONT GET ME WRONG. He’s just so neutral about it it makes me a bit like awwww :(. They’re cute tho idrc.
Ok moving on to Haku and Tohma. (Ok at this point I’m getting nervous cause why are we seeing so many characters now. That’s probably just a coincidence). OK THESE TWO HAVE GOT IT GOING. Like there’s tension when you get their chat in the campus but this is like woahhhh… Also I don’t like how Tohma says “our wheelhouse? I see..” it makes me think he’s like implying “so you think you’re a part of them now?” IDK THATS JUST MY LITTLE STRETCH. Also poor Zenji, he’s like “aw yeah I died in vain lol” LIKE OUCH.
Nicholas. I DO NOT LIKE HIM. I REPEAT. I DO NOT LIKE HIM FOR A MINUTE OF A SECOND. The only staff I like are the cats, the grocer guy, and MAYBE Dante. LIKE HES SO… NORMAL?? LIKE THERE’S SOMETHING WEIRD GOING ON IK THERE IS. When MC says “I can’t believe Professor Nicolas would do something like that” I DO 😡🙋♀️. I am in full support of Yuri finding crimes against this guy.
Also, little other side note, I just realized that Yuri and Jiro have matching earring in opposite ears. It’s so cute.
Ok I might have to go back to the beginning and see what the “goat like anomaly” Jiro is talking about when he mentions the prophecy, cause I said “… the chancellor is a goat??” BUT ANYWAYS. Speaking of the prophecy, I’ll jot it down.
“The whisper of the new moon shall lead the champion to the academy on the solitary island. So long as the champion resides there, the world shall be sheltered from profound tragedy.”
Stating the obvious here, but this is most likely referencing to the last cutscenes we get when we choose our characters. I’ve checked the cutscenes again and there’s no visible moon, meaning it could correlate to the “new moon” portion. (Search up new moon to see what I mean). Assuming Solitary island means death, that would also help with the theory. So, whoever we chose in the beginning might just be the person who won the Laurel Crown.Honestly, this is just a silly little Drabble for a theory and VERY vague. Maybe the champion resides in the events of the past that we still don’t know about but this kinda helps?? Idk I’m just putting what I think at the moment. I’ll probably reread the game so I can get a better timeline. Also, Yuri’s rant about demon particles… doesn’t exactly sit right with me. Were they chosen to be resilient or was it just a birth thing?? Idk but I feel like a lot is missing from his theory. I mean, we’re using human logic to a supernatural cause so I don’t think pacts acting as allergies would work. If they’re not chosen, could it be that the ghouls can make pacts with more than one demon? I wanna see what happens if that was the case. Please comment if I missed something 😭.
Ok Towa appeared. (Why are we seeing so many characters I don’t like this) and we went back to that tree… WHAT IS THAT TREE?? And what the hell do you mean the fruit grew? What is that fruit supposed to be? An anomaly going to birth?? Is it supposed to represent the houses?? Motivation?? It seems so weird to me cause we just got introduced to that tree last episode. Sighs.
OK REN AND RITSU. WHAT IS GOING ON. I GUESS SINCE THIS IS THE LADT CHAPTER FOR INTRODUCING CHARACTERS BUT LIKE … STOP. I feel like something is going to happen with the MC pls 😭. Anyway, those two talking about ramen is so cute please don’t ever change you virgin and lizard looking freak 🫶( with love of course). GROCER GUYYYYYYY. YIPPEE :3!! I love that the cat is the owner and not the human lmao.
Also I will always be a MC defender cause she is so relatable. “Why are hospitals so creepy at night?” GIRL IKKKKKK. Idc what y’all say, the fact that she’s normal is keeping me sane from these freaky deaky events. ILOVE NORMAL CHARACTERS! LIKE MATSUDA FROM DEATH NOTE OR THAT ONE GUY FROM MASHELE. Anyways, I love her little comments and everything she’s so silly. Idrc if she doesn’t have much of a backbone cause honestly, she’s surrounded by danger so the best she should do is listen to the people that are constantly surrounded by it.
ALSO NEW THING. (Well idk if it’s new but yeah).
mention of a Dionysia Breakout. <—— Idk what that is, but it sounds like a little more. I love little details and slip ups thanks characters <3!!
HA! HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! I WIN NICOLAS 😈!!! YOU DO HAVE SOMETHING TO HIDE. AND I WILL FIND IT TRUST YOU WILL BE DELT WITH. I WILL KNOW THE PRIOR PAST >:(!! Also, Moby is being soooo annoying tbh. More character descriptions to add: competitive as a teacher. NO ONE WILL MAKE YOU HATE YOU JIRO ‼️‼️‼️ HES SO SWEET He literally asks if we’re scared and says we can hang back awwww. Though he doesn’t understand much, he can use logic and he can at least understand how we feel. It’s a nice sentiment :)!
I can’t take the transformation seriously I’m sorry. I’m still impressed by Yuri’s deductive skills and the transformation just sounded like he was constipated.
THE WHOLE BATTLE SCENE WAS EPIC!! MC HESITATING BECAUSE OF LEOS WORDS BUT STILL PUSHING FORWARD. YURI GETTING FLUSTERED. JIRO SMILING AND TRUSTING YURI’S ORDERS. THE FUNNY EXCHANGE ABOUT MUSCLE WHEN THEY WERE CARRYING THE POD. Those annoying ass pussy sticks we call Darkwick students 😡. JIRO LOOKING BADASS AFTER THE SHOT. URGHHHH I LOVE THIS CHAPTER.
HARU AND PEEKABOOOOO!! AHHHHH IM SO HAPPY I SEE THEM AGAIN!! I’m so glad he’s going to Hyde too cause I’m not ready. Also… the mermaid thing is so weird. For the Montkraken Mermaid, they seem to refer to it as “it” or “that mermaid”, but when they speak of the second mermaid, they use personal pronouns like “he /him”. Haru’s expression as well when he heard someone was abusing mermaid flesh… it’s a new one with a little crease under his eye. It’s such a sad face like, did he know this mermaid personally or was this fear?? Either way, I wanna meet him cause the other one was so pretty.
…You guys know the “I see who you are… you are my enemy” sound that’s on TikTok or reels or wtv? YEAH THATS SONG WAS PLAYING IN MY HEAD WHEN HYDE SAID WE HAD TO DO A SPEECH. HYDE IM IN YOUR WALLS. URGHHHH I HATE HIMMMMM. Call to action my ass IK either Taiga or Leo are gonna get their asses out of the door after the speech. OR BOTH. I’m starting to tweak.
NOOOOO THE SPEECH IS THE NEXT CHAPTER?? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
I feel so bad for Zenji… like I’m so deadass. Dude he sounds so sad about how he’s dead it’s so.. URGHHHH. ALSO I CALLED IT. THEY ARE BROTHERS. AHAHHAHA!! Well it was kinda obvious cause everyone thought it too but WOMP WOMP. Also I love his real name, Taro Kirisaki. It’s pretty :)!! But these lines killed me
“and though I have taken my final blow, my brotherly heart can’t help but worry for my kin. … Not that he has any idea I’m still around.” YEOUCH?? I DIDNT COME TO CRY BRO…
I’m tweaking out because of this speech bro. I’m gonna choose the corniest stuff and hope for the best. “I feel bad please stop for me 🥺” headass.
Taiga is officially my enemy as well. I called that shit about him leaving URGH. WHAT A FLIBBERTYJIBBET!! His outfit eats tho so it balances out. LIKE DAMNNNN. HE LOOKS SO GOOD.
DOUBLE?? TRIPLE??? QUINTUPLE???? HELL I MIGHT BECOME A GHOUL TO GET THAT MONEY GOLLY 😍😍😍!! CAUSE IN THIS ECONOMY??Also thanks Jin you a real one twin. Bouta split this cash with my wife and I’ll send you a wedding invite.
EDWARD. ED PLEASE. STOP PUTTING ME IN THE SPOTLIGHT… well it’s out now so woopy!! I really wonder what the others have to say about that cause they just gave really vague surprised reactions. Well, Ritsu documented it. I love that little guy please don’t ever change you silly.
NUMBER ONE CORNELIUS HATER IDC. Unless I know your intentions I DONT CAREEEEE. YOU ARE AN OPP IT IS ON SIGHT WITH YOU. SAME WITH YOU NICOLAS!! “I didn’t know whether to tell you or not I’m sowwy 🥺” CHUPA MI PITO HOE 😡.
… you’re telling me I didn’t have to do that awful speech because DANTE AGREED?? IM DONE. IM WHOOPING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM AND AURING THE PLACE OUT. FIRST ONES OUT ARE HYDE FOR NOT TELLING ME, NICOLAS, AND CORNELIUS. ARGHHHHHHH. Also, dude, who is that Janitor guy like seriously.
ROMEO??? AND HYDE???? WHAT IS THIS ABOUT BUTTERCUP?? Wdym worked for him?? What is going on… SPECIAL MISSION??? SHO??? OH NAW. I CANT TRUST NOBODY ANYMORE 😭
Towa crying :(. What does the fruit shrinking have to do with it now?? I’m so confused.
ALRIGHT IF YOU MADE IT TO THE END WOW YOU HAVE DEDICATION. Yeah this is my personal yap session to this chapter and it’s so URGH. I’m so excited to see the next chapter and I hope we get to see more and more. Now with the Gala in place, we can finally start WORKING. Based on the timeline, we have about … 8 months left?? So hopefully, for MC’s sake, she gets cured. BYE BYE UNTIL NEXT EPISODE!!
#tokyo debunker#tokyo debunker mc#tokyo debunker spoilers#montkraken#Episode 7#spoilers#theories#yapping#omfg#this insane#Darkwick#Alan Mido#Jiro Kirisaki#tohma ishibashi#kaito fuji#lucas errant#jin kamurai#leo kurosagi#shohei haizono#subaru kagami#shobaru#ritsu shinjo#zenji kotodama#edward hart#tdb#lyca colt#towa otonashi#haru sagara#taiga hoshibami
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dsmp if... they were spiderman
i love spiderman just like every other bitch out there
dream: - do not be surprised if he comes out one day and claims hes a demigod and superhero and a wizard - cause if its anybody its this guy fr - if he was spiderman he wouldnt have the main and basic color scheme - hed go green like everything - green is the main color like the evermore green and black/white as the accent colors - his string also wouldnt be normal spider string i feel like itd be neon ish like miguels from the movie - he would also avoid telling you that he was spiderman till the very last moment - he would wanna keep you safe the best he can - would nEVER swing by your house - but he keeps an eye out on you when he knows ur out and about walking - but when you eventually figure it out? boy oh boy - cornering you in the street and pushing you into an alleyway - spiderman poses in front of you, hanging from his web - gives you upside down kisses???? sign me tf up - hed also get himself just the right amount involved in the crime he fought - he knows how to balance his life out, and he knows how important it is to be able to balance his life out like that - hot as spiderman sapnap: - a reckless spiderman - leans vigilante - out of all of them he would be the one with the suit closest to the spiderman - but im not feeling the blue - marroon and black or some other brighter color - a rash spiderman - fights crime like no business, but kinda makes a mess along the way - its okay bc the people love him - loves loves LOVES arguing with cops - tells you almost immediately after becoming spiderman bc he has to tell someone - breaks every canon event - trash talks every criminal out there - but is nice to every citizen he sees - likes webshooting your wrist to the counter or something so you cant leave or go out or smth - forces you to spend time with him :) - likes to keep out of interacting with people as spiderman - but will use it as argument bait in day to day life - makes a hammock out of webs and lays there between two buildings - overall 7/10 spiderman
george: - is barely spiderman but when he is hes darn good at it - he leaves a lot of the petty crime to the cops - only goes out for the big stuff - dark navy blue suit with black accents - stays in the shadows/on top of buildings - doesnt interact with anyone if he can help it - the more secretive he can keep the better - he told you a fair amount of time after he went out as everyones crime fighting superhero - but he doesnt like to talk about being spiderman - and youre fine with that, as long as he stays safe - he swings to your window every night after hes done being spiderman - hed rather be with you than someone else after the hard night hes probably had - has a habit opening your window without knowing and jumpscaring you accidentally LMFAO
karl: - oh he LOVES BEING SPIDERMAN - hes the spiderman to be on every cereal box and phone cover and talk show - loves taking pictures especially with little children in their own spiderman costumes - after he captures and ties up every criminal he leaves a little goofy aah note for the cops to laugh at - unlike sapnap he has a great rep w the cops - he told you after he “test” ran it - actually he just showed up with the mask on and you were like “SPIDERMAN OMG LET ME CAL MY BF” - and then spidermans phone was ringing and you were like - “what” - “im spiderman!” - “WHAT” - his suits like - i feel like it changes color in the sun - its one of those suits - and hes the only one out of all to have an assistant ai thing in his suit to lead him through crime - he might be a more light hearted spiderman but he still deals with the same dangerous crime
quackity: - this guy loves to swing - he will put his headphones on and jump off the nearest building - mona lisa by dominic fike - soars to the ground and then swings up at the last moment - swings to the beat of the music to relax - he has the normal suit i think - but he has his hair comin out of the suit like pavitr - loves to take you swinging - even if you may find it terrifying - he likes the feeling of sharing with you his favorite activity - fights crime like no ones business - he told you like a few months after being spiderman - he just jumped down from the ceiling - “? what” - “spiderman!” - “...what” - yeah - idk all i can think of is that quackity likes to swing around the city just for the heck of it - “WOAH ITS SPIDERMAN” “YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”
wilbur: - has a black suit like miles - tommy is his guy in the chair LMFAO - in his ear like “SWING LEFT I MEAN RIGHT I MEAN LEFT” - mutes tommy half the time - leaves you little messages in web on the walls of the house - “love you!” but its in spider web - actively holds a conversation with the people hes fighting - “so hows your day?” *PUNCH* “hows ur kid doing?” *OBLITERATES* - uses physics and shit to his advantage cause hes not that built - another one whos hot as spiderman - never EVER brings you out as spiderman - EVER - will bring tommy tho - cause tommy annoys him into doing - “BIG UPS WILBUR!!” “SHH TOMMY” - is spidermans biggest fan even though hes spiderman - “they will never suspect spidermans biggest fan as spiderman!” - smart ngl
guys all i can think about is spiderman its a dilemma an issue a problem sorry for the short headcanons i had to get my thoughts out of the way!
#dream x reader#dreamwastaken x reader#wilbur soot x reader#georgenotfound x reader#sapnap x reader#karl jacobs x reader#quackity x reader#dsmp x reader#wilbur x reader#mcyt x reader#shakira shakira writes#dsmp if... series
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Hi there! Im a bit new to ur blog but i just wanted to pop in to tell you how much i adore Combat Baby! Im actually super insane about it!! Idk why but the whole coat bits were just phenomenal and live in my brain forever now? Im already a sucker for older ford and mullet stan but oh boy now i cant stop picturing every version of stan stealing his brother's coat...for regular reasons and maybe also spicy reasons 👀 like a consensus i see is ford being a clothing sniffer but stan could also have a coat to sniff...as a treat...anyway sorry for rambling a bit here!! but please keep up the excellent work!
hello there, anon!! hey, if it makes you feel any better, i am also new to this blog so no worries there at all lol. ahh but thank you so much, it's so kind of you to come over here to say that!!
and okay hahaha let me ramble a little bit about the damn coat! cause i hadn't actually planned for like. ANY OF THAT to happen, so i am just thrilled to hear you enjoyed that random ass bit that ended up running away from me! cause like here's the thing. my main goal was just to get a few of ford's fucking layers off for the sake of the scene (fun fact: this whole scene originally started in a different room entirely and i said fuck that and moved them to the kitchen).
but then i figured the coat gave stan something to kinda consider while ford is faffing about, gave me a point to work on to keep driving at that "similar but different" narrative i was trying to lean into. but like....then the coat is there y'know?? i hadn't even included him asking for the thing in my first pass of that scene. but then it kinda felt like chekov's coat at that point and i couldn't not bring it back in.
but yes, i'm absolutely with you. i really do love the idea of stan like. taking comfort in being surrounded by something that smells like ford. especially if we're talking mullet stan and older ford here. and uhhhh. i had other like stuff i was gonna say, i think, but i kinda got carried away so.
hey! welcome to the blog! have a vaguely, hand wavey post-combat baby tidbit of stan jerking off in ford's coat:
This was stupid. Painfully, humiliatingly stupid. And if he got caught, Stan was pretty sure he'd just voluntarily disappear for another ten years rather than reckon with that particular flavor of mortification.
Fuck, what did it say about him that the thought of Ford walking in and catching him beating off in nothing but his brother's stupid coat just made his dick twitch harder in his palm?
Stan bit down on his lower lip and cast a furtive glance towards the door, but he didn't slow his fist any. He couldn't hear any movement outside the room, which suggested that Ford was still down in the basement or fucking around in the woods — he couldn't actually remember which one at the moment. He just knew that Ford had gone and occupied himself somewhere else and left his coat laying around, easy pickings. He hadn't even thought it through before he grabbed the thing and made himself scarce with it.
Vaguely, Stan reasoned that if Ford hadn't taken his coat, he probably wasn't wandering around outside in the fucking snow. But that meant he was probably somewhere inside still, and that really shouldn't make him as hot as it did.
“Fucking hell,” he panted, fumbling with his free hand to tug the collar of the coat up to his nose. He breathed in the familiar-but-not smell of Ford and the memory of making embarrassing noises into the same material while he was railed on the kitchen table.
Shuddering, Stan rolled his palm over the head of his dick and smeared precome down the shaft, muffling a moan in the jacket collar. It was heavy, a noticeable enough weight shifting against his bare skin that if he closed his eyes and tried hard enough, he could almost imagine Ford kneeling behind him, pressed against his back and draping his arms over his shoulders. It would put his mouth right against that spot behind Stan's ear that had never fully shaken the phantom feeling of Ford's lips moving there.
But what the fuck would he even say? Would he be pissed at Stan for taking his coat? Probably. Sneer that he shouldn't be surprised that a whore who can't keep his own clothes on would feel entitled to stealing his. He'd loom against his back and watch Stan fuck his own fist right up until he was twitching, nearly there, and then Ford would grab his wrist and tell him to stop because he didn't deserve to come.
Stan tucked his chin to press closer to the material he was holding to his face and rocked his hips, as much to follow the steady pumping of his fist as to feel the coat shift against his thighs and around where his knees were pressed to the floor. Because he hadn't even managed to make it to the fucking bed once he'd gotten into the room. He'd just stripped in a hurry, leaving his own clothes thrown haphazardly to the side, and yanked on Ford's stupid space coat.
If he were going for realistic, if Ford wandered upstairs and threw open the bedroom door and found Stan jerking off in the middle of the room, he probably wouldn't do anything at all. He'd get that brief, surprised little look on his face, eyebrows raising over the rim of his glasses and maybe, maybe part his lips just a little bit.
And then, while Stan was stammering and trying to come up with an excuse or an apology or literally anything worth saying to make this look less like what it was, Ford would reset his expression and cross his arms and say something short like, “Well? Get on with it, then.” He would stand in the doorway, maybe lean there a bit, comfortable as you please, and watch Stan frantically try to finish the job like he was simply overseeing one of his less interesting experiments.
Stan huffed against the coat and swallowed down a moan as he rubbed against the sensitive spot under the head of his dick. He was so close. And he needed to hurry the fuck up if he didn't actually want Ford to walk in on him. Cause that was all well and good while he was hot and shivering and chasing down an orgasm, but he would probably actually die if he got caught. Or maybe Ford would do him a favor and just kill him on the spot for it?
Nosing the fold of the coat collar, Stan heard a quiet click in the room before the heater kicked on, thrumming away to keep the stupid cabin at a reasonable temperature for the middle of winter. Because the heat had been turned off, like Ford had suspected, and they'd managed for a few days with Stan chopping wood and putting the shack's little fireplace to use. But that was a miserable chore, and eventually Stan figured, fuck it, and gave the gas company a call.
Turned out, telling the right sob story with an appropriately pathetic voice could get you an extension and get the heat back on until your genius brother figured out his nerd ass replacement for powering the shack. Stan didn't know what he meant by that, and he hadn't asked, because as long as they had some way of heating the place up, he was happy.
But he did distinctly remember telling Ford he had gotten the gas turned back on for another couple weeks. The way he made that brief, surprised face and then, for a moment, nothing else at all. Long enough that Stan had rolled his eyes and turned to head back out of the room, because really, what the hell had he expected here? But then Ford had finally cleared his throat and said, awkward, like he'd only just realized he should, “Thank you, Stanley. Good work.”
Stan shoved a mouthful of Ford's coat between his teeth and bucked jerkily when he came all over his fist, skin tingling and Ford's voice rolling around between his ears.
“J-Jesus Christ, Stanley,” he panted to himself once he'd stopped whining and could spit out the edge of the coat — didn't taste nearly as good as it smelled. And, he realized with a groan, he'd managed to get jizz all over the sleeve. Fantastic.
Once he caught his breath, he would get dressed, wipe the coat off as best he could, and put it back. Then he would pray to god that Ford didn't notice anything, wouldn’t see the splotchy attempts at cleaning it or smell Stan on it. And he would never touch the damn thing again. Really.
#yeah again i got nothing#i didn't mean to write this#BUT HERE WE ARE#stancest#nsft#pretend my ask tag is cute#foodtruck’s snack packs
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Jimmy EVO thoughts
This is a loooong thread of summarized thoughts (cough 5500 words) of Jimmy in Evo, though mostly his and Martyn's Property Police relationship and how it leads into future treatment of Jimmy, as well as general Jimmy character analysis. Plus some Netty thoughts and such in relation to Jimmy too
Obligatory: I talk about characters only
The following is separated into categories, somewhat, but 90% of that is property police related... Netty and misc thoughts are down below
Shoutout once again to my friend for pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could
(Martyn's self portrait. Idk felt appropriate)
1. Jimmy and Martyn (Property police) thoughts
Jimmy and Martyn overall are pretty cute and supportive and protective of one another but there are many many instances that Martyn unfairly scolds and plays him down. But then he'll turn around and show some form of care towards Jimmy which leaves me feeling conflicted. The way Martyn treats Jimmy here pretty effortlessly leads into Jimmy's further mistreatment in future SMPs imo
I'm gonna start off with a lot of negative aspects to the Property Police dynamic but trust me ok I've noted down all the cool and nice things too at a later point. As I said they're overall cute and nice!!! There's just a lot... to note... (I'm a big solidwood fan ok. sobs)
1.1 Martyn's caretaker role and the "chief"
All throughout, Martyn keeps bringing up this made-up character "chief" who they speak of as both a sort of boogeyman as well as a parental figure (Jimmy later says the chief is his father)? Like Jimmy causes trouble and Martyn goes "ahh I'm gonna have to tell the chief about this" to which Jimmy tries to plead his case. Or Martyn would express needing the chief to weigh in on whether Jimmy's doing a good enough job as Property Police. This makes sense though given Martyn's self-assigned caretaker role
Martyn largely acts like he needs to be taking care of Jimmy and doesn't trust him when he's alone (will be talked about in depth at the next point) and makes up this police chief character to spook Jimmy but also to, again, serve as some kind of replication of a parental figure... Jimmy himself talks about the chief that way too, saying stuff like "the chief told me to be careful"
There's some kind of pride essential to Martyn that he gets from taking on some kind of provider role, and/or it might be essential to him being able to show affection, at least at this point in time and at least towards Jimmy
Martyn likes to feel depended on and Jimmy does make it feel that way. He's constantly considering Martyn, following him around, supporting him. When he's not there, he frequently talks about him, how he's not here today but will be another time, how he's taking a break, how they'll be doing stuff together later... How they both agree that Jimmy doesn't fare well on his own (and how Jimmy and other people in Jimmy's life will hold onto this belief)
In one episode they're both finding these vacation apartments to buy? and Jimmy goes "can we be next to each other though? I'll miss you too much if we don't" :(
At some point Netty's appalled by how poor Jimmy is so he and Martyn make plans to mine together, and they decide to mine in different directions only for Jimmy to go back to Martyn anyway
I'm so sorry to be a weeb and use a screenshot from Free! of all things but this is Martyn and Jimmy. I don't make the rules
There's also a moment where Jimmy says "I think I might need you" to which Martyn goes "is this you confessing your love to me?" and then they do this bit where they act out the chief talking to them "you can love who you want to love. As long as you do your job right". So basically the chief is validating gay marriage. Awesome
Anyway, Jimmy at several points gets told off by Martyn because he's "fine" and doesn't need Jimmy following him around but what else is he gonna do… you cant just leave him on the street like a lost puppy…
At one point in the SMP, they all get together to take on the ender dragon (after which Grian left). Unfortunately, they don't end up in one End dimension and instead, they all have to fight the Enderdragon by themselves. Jimmy does fantastic. He's very focused and gets it done in spite of a few struggles. He even says "those endermen made me so angry. I haven't been so angry in awhile" when it really didn't show that he was THAT angry when a bunch of them piled on him. He stayed focused and finished the job... Sigh. He can be so confident and competent and good, if only he didn't get played down so frequently just for often getting excited and tunnel visioned easily...
It's implied that the others thought he was gone for good when Jimmy finally made it back to the overworld after some... bliss in the great void? Of course he starts asking himself about Martyn and expressing hope that Martyn's alive. He and Martyn eventually communicate here and there but still don't meet up for awhile longer. Jimmy for this time period is surviving pretty much independently, and even when Martyn starts turning up in his episodes more again, there's much less of Jimmy following Martyn around like he used to, and I think Martyn took note. It feels like he took note that Jimmy no longer depended on him and kinda fucked off a little bit. This would carry over to stuff like 3L as reasoning for why Martyn acted the way he did towards Jimmy? Evidently caring about him yet pushing him away, even after Jimmy asked to join him, even after Martyn himself told Jimmy that he thought Scott was using him
(Headcanony here, but I still jive with the idea that there was some kind of watcher/listener/Evo members confrontation at the end that forced that world to come to an end, from which Jimmy and Pearl were spared as they went on to quickly be part of new worlds unlike the others. And then some of them eventually returning like Martyn, but not Netty, and the idea that Martyn now holds some kind of resentment towards Jimmy for not having gone through that and never being able to understand how Martyn feels, in spite of still caring about Jimmy, having wanted to spare him from whatever went down to begin with. This, combined with him seeing Jimmy become more independent, when Jimmy was always waiting for him and wanted to make him proud for surviving on his own, and missed and needed him even if Martyn doesn't think so. This will be reinforced at later points here too)
1.2 Martyn's lack of trust in Jimmy and Jimmy's self-deprecation
Apparently whenever Jimmy's on the server without Martyn, he just becomes a troublemaker and Martyn goes "I don't trust you half the time", granted, lightheartedly, but this notion will keep being repeated. His first reaction to the property police being faulted for anything, or Jimmy being hesitant with telling him something, is to assume and accuse Jimmy of messing something up. Eg when there is a scene resembling a protest built outside their base, Jimmy questions what they've done to be opposed, to which Martyn goes "What have YOU done?". This leads to/deepens Jimmy's need to prove himself to be good and competent, and his hesitancy to let Martyn know/fear of Martyn finding out when he's messed something up
Jimmy gets himself utterly blown up by Grian's prank, Martyn's not there so he goes "guys, you cannot tell Morty (Martyn), he will kill me". He sounds genuinely pretty upset too "I don't- I don't know anymore." He's not even nice to their current dog, with him walking around pretty aimlessly before going to their dog who's standing up and repeatedly trying to make it sit, sternly saying "Sit down, sit down." when previously he's shown a lot of affection towards their dogs (though honestly uncertain how much of it has been totally genuine when he has also joked about a dog dying before it can be nametagged and stuff)
Martyn's not around and look what happens - exactly what Martyn has drilled in. Of course Jimmy is flustered and upset, and of course he doesn't want Martyn to know- for Martyn to comment again about his lack of trust in him by his lonesome, or about his unsuitability for his job as a cop. It only makes sense that Jimmy comes to believe he's incapable of handling himself alone and that he needs to rely on someone. It's only natural he follows Scott around in 3L without question when Scott doesn't trust him to something. It's only natural that even with Tango, at the start of DL, he voices concern to Bdubs that he's afraid Tango will yell at him for having done a bad job begging for resources. (Ofc Tango doesn't but it's really fucking sad!! That Jimmy's been conditioned to consider that!!)
Another example of "Jimmy's incompetency" is when Jimmy's dog has been taken hostage for awhile, but they find it almost instantly when Martyn comes back on. Jimmy says he needed the dog to keep him company and expresses a lot of grievance over the dog's living condition in the hole it was kept in, while Martyn questions if he even put in that much of an effort to try and find it. They joke about and Jimmy agrees to him not doing well on his own. (Also I'm not sure what to take away from the fact that the dog was kept in oddly good conditions and Jimmy still feeling bad for the dog...? Aside from the lack of sunlight ofc, it had room and water and a bed)
At some point (spoken more of in the Netty section), Jimmy gives Netty all his resources he gathered from their mining trip together and then asks "did you get a picture? Did you get a picture of that?". Naturally Netty comments on his need to immortalize his good deeds but you can't blame the guy when the people around him, especially his best pal Martyn, keep calling him a bad cop and not trusting him to be good when he's left alone. It makes sense for Jimmy to want proof of him being good to show Martyn...
Start of Evo ep 46, Salems says in chat something along the lines of "be good now Jimmy, no one's here to watch over you" to which Jimmy replies "I'm always good tyvm!!" And then proceeds to praise himself for the rest of the episode despite having difficulty dealing with the property police station being flooded. Eg sees that he has a bucket in one of his chests and going "Good job Jim good job" etc. He's trying so hard and then turns around to see more water and goes "this makes me sad" :(
(It was genuinely really bad lol this image does not do it justice)
Jimmy's self deprecation is also present in Evo even when it's not being brought on by anyone else, only himself. Eg under the video in which he got miserably blown up by Grian's prank, he has his pinned comment: "I was excited okay. I did not see the plates, don't ruin the comment section! Thank you. I am a noob though. HA!" and at the start of a different episode, Jimmy says to the audience "You didn't miss me, did ya? I know you didn't miss me" :(
There's also the time where he, Martyn and Netty do a race all individually and in the end it's revealed that Jimmy was the last one by a second and he repeatedly goes "oh wow so funny let's laugh (mock laughter)". Something about this one... Sure they joked about him coming last a few times through the episode but that felt kind of out of left field. Why is he so mocking... why are you being so SO mean to yourself Jimmy...
Jimmy is pretty frequently insisting on being a good cop even when the situation doesn't call for it because "people have been having a go at me lately". This notion of Jimmy being a bad cop extends further yet when Martyn's mayor campaign begins
1.3 Martyn's mayor arc, Jimmy's reinforced unsuitability and getting caught in the crossfire
Martyn runs for mayor, during which Jimmy is unwaveringly backing him, ofc. Following him around, propping him up... At one point Martyn even says "You're the best run-in partner I could've asked for"
But then things start falling apart and Martyn starts to a go a little bit mad. He wants to give up and Jimmy is basically pleading with him saying stuff like "but I've done so much to back to you" but Martyn's not hearing it "You've done nothing". (what a switch from that last paragraph lol)
Back to the Property Police station being flooded - Jimmy was openly supporting Martyn's mayor campaign but he didn't cause any of the destruction during the fallout when Martyn gave up. It was all Martyn and in retaliation the property police base has been significantly flooded and plastered with vines and Jimmy's the one to have to clean it all up. This doesn't get acknowledged (in Jimmy's POV at least). This is also very true in other SMPs like X Life, that Jimmy largely suffers due to no bad actions of his own but rather the crossfire of others'
It's always Martyn being on break... It's always Jimmy saying "the chief gave him days off!" and Martyn saying "I need a break from you and everything". Has anyone considered maybe Jimmy needs a little break too.. Has anyone considered that Jimmy also feels bad for not having his efforts recognized... He's always there to prop Martyn up to largely get deprecated in return in spite of everything he does (and isn't that a familiar theme with Jimmy...)
Anyway, next episode Martyn's back and Jimmy wants to show him something nice he made for him for being torn up about the mayor thing, but Martyn's immediate reaction is "what did you do!?". Well, the nice thing Jimmy made was a padded cell and he trapped Martyn in there for a bit for having gone a little mad lol
Martyn for a short period of time ends up becoming mayor anyway, during which he hits and berates Jimmy quite a bit (clenches fist) and reasons why Jimmy would always be second in charge at most because people don't want him as mayor. They do this whole bit where Jimmy replaces all the previous signs directed towards Tatiz (the last mayor) for them to say nice things about Martyn instead cause it's not like anyone's gonna know they're all just done by Jimmy... and then Martyn doesn't even let him into the office and punches him and Jimmy fake sniffles away
Martyn has another meltdown over the Watchers being against him becoming mayor, though Jimmy's still supporting him through it even as Martyn's playing him down. At the very end of the episode, Martyn jumps down a well when he says he's gonna go sleep so Jimmy's like "oh. Don't drown, we still need you" and Martyn sounds genuinely kind of gut-wrenchingly defeated when he replies "apparently not". Good time to remember Martyn's pride in feeling needed
Next time Martyn's on, he's on a quest to exile himself, saying he's going to find the next portal and leave and never come back. Jimmy is valiantly following him around and basically pleading for him to stay and that they need him (I think it's just you Jimmy... it's you who needs him...). Him saying "we've been on the force for 9 years, does that not mean anything to you?" makes for a painful parallel to Martyn accusing Jimmy of not caring about property police in 3L... Paraphrasing a bit, but the back and forth between Martyn and Jimmy: "You can explain to Netty why I'm leaving. I didn't want to explain to anyone but you've forced it on me. I'm happy to leave, everything's fine" - "Alright, fine. Fine, I accept it, no I accept it, I'm coming to wave goodbye" - "You coming with me, or?" - "No, I'm not leaving all this behind, but I'll come wave goodbye". Even with Jimmy giving up or having implied giving up on trying to convince Martyn to stay, he still wants to follow him, to at least say goodbye... Jimmy also says he's tearing up as Martyn's digging down to the stronghold where he plans to make his exit. Martyn drops into the stronghold with a bunch of mobs though and Jimmy goes "yess kill him, kill him!" (because that'd bring Martyn back to spawn and halt his self exile) before jumping down and helping defend Martyn anyway... Ultimately Martyn fails because the portal isn't even there and he dies to a creeper. Later, when Martyn's back, this is largely treated as a bad dream and that Martyn was just in a daze
I'm not sure exactly where this thought started but at some point Jimmy starts to express having to become mayor himself (and then at a later point, as mentioned above, Martyn explaining why people would never want him as a mayor). Jimmy says things like "I'm gonna end up being the mayor aren't I?" when things get tentative and unstable with Martyn, and "I reckon anything that comes - if a situation comes along again where someone has to take charge and i-in- lead and vote for something or even go for something... think Pete Bills should take it- I think Pete Bills should take it, and, you know... Give his best shot"
This is significant to me because Jimmy wanting to be in any kind of leading role, but never managing it, is a theme that comes up frequently in his POVs. Jimmy is already treated as being at the bottom of some player perceived hierarchy, and as such constantly teased and played down, which naturally, for the others, makes it unlikely if not absurd for him to be in leadership positions, and this imo carries over to his relationships
He hardly has authority and when he tries to enforce it, he gets disregarded, discouraged and/or made fun of, eg in ESMP2. He hardly if ever gets authority in 3L FH (flower husbands), or ESMP2 fWhimmy, or, Evo Solidwood to an extent. The whole mayor deal is very resemblant of what would go on to happen in X Life too. Where Jimmy is happy to be part of "Jeremyism" with Joel as the leader, though he enforces very little power, but when that position is about to be handed over to Scott, Jimmy desperately tries to get himself to be the leader instead, and upon failing, begs Joel to retain his position, only to end up following Scott's lead anyway without further vocal protest
Jimmy taking charge, in relationships or otherwise, almost always gets shut down. Pensive
1.4 Martyn's also kind to Jimmy though...
But then there are times like Martyn showing concern towards his wellbeing, voicing fear of him hurting himself, saying things like "I was worried you hurt yourself"
There are times like Salem cornering Jimmy and Martyn going "Salem, back it up, go back a few blocks, get away from him". Times like them talking about food and Jimmy says he's the priority so he should eat. Martyn naturally questions it and then chases him around for a bit, threatening to hit him, but then throws him the food anyway without arguing against it...
Something about Martyn not being entirely against the padded cell that Jimmy made for and trapped him in briefly. Martyn willingly goes in there when "he's had a thought" and says for Jimmy to trust him to stay in there even though one of the doors is broken and keeps opening. Something about Jimmy's ideas being given a chance and made use of even when its. a fucking padded cell
There's an episode that starts with Martyn calling Jimmy upset and a loser as is not at all unusual (grrr) but then he goes all soft "How you doing, you alright? Sorry I've been away" and all I can do is shake my fist, unable to quite punch him. There's something here about Martyn struggling to express affection, really well showcased in the bread incident too, without having a go at Jimmy first as if it were a balance that he needs to keep in check, rather than being nice to Jimmy just... because.
There's a trap they build, mostly Martyn, and he claims "Jimmy was such a big support" and Jimmy naturally goes "I didn't really do much" but all Martyn replies is "well its this kind of trap that having two people work on it would have been difficult..." thank you for validating Jimmy and not making a joke out of him for "doing less"
There's this kind of respect towards Jimmy here largely absent from a lot of other people in other SMPs...
Jimmy shushing Martyn and Martyn actually shuts up. Wow basic decency and respect towards my son !!! Jimmy suggests a viewer suggested bevarage name for their little pub thing, and Martyn says it's bad, but when Jimmy reinforces a little later that he thought it was good, Martyn encourages him to put up a sign for it anyway.
It's not just Jimmy who's being accused of having done something etc. Jimmy's also more assertive towards Martyn and asking him if he's sure he's not done anything bad. And also holding Martyn accountable. This is largely a saving grace for Solidwood to me as opposed to some other Jimmy relationships in select SMPs because it goes both ways here even if still in uneven portions...
There's also Jimmy's antics being played into it as opposed to being disregarded or made fun of. A lot of it tends to be turned back around to making fun of Jimmy and then that's it, that's the joke, but with Martyn, he participates in the jokes. Jimmy can just ask for silly stuff or be silly and Martyn will easily go along or provide without knocking him or anything. Jimmy "can I get a cool intro please" and Martyn will just do it without question. The whole thing they had with Evo news (genuinely please go watch this one tiny animatic of one of their "Evo News" segments on Jimmy's channel, it's so adorable). Or whatever other cringy joke bits they do. Mmgh I just wish this was the case with more people than just Martyn
This kind of stuff, a lot of the time does still involve teasing Jimmy, but it's fun... It's not just fun on Jimmy's expense, it's fun that involves him, and that makes this endlessly more enjoyable to me than the "lol Jimmy is incompetent and stupid and deserves no rights" jokes with no further nuance to them. Those do very much appear in Evo still, and do hurt me, although I see no harm to them as long as they're less frequent and as such don't become fully stale after the first few times, but at least it's not. coughempiresseason2cough cough.
Idk where else to put this but Martyn and Jimmy start the "Property Police" bit in episode 2 already and it goes on for pretty much the entire series. They both adopt specific names for it though. Jimmy decides on “Pete Bills” but it’s mostly just him who ever uses it. Martyn picks “Morty” and Jimmy continues calling Martyn that for the entire series. Kind of cute of them to have nicknames for one another, Morty and Timmy respectively, even if it was Grian who started the Timmy bit
1.5 Setting Jimmy up for failure
This kind of casual hitting and deprecation from Martyn is what I think leads to Jimmy's further minimization and need of dependency, which I brought into question way back at the start. While Property Police is largely pretty carefree and accountability and such isn't always one-sided and can go both ways, there are so many things to point to in retrospect as frontrunners for repeating themes in how Jimmy gets treated by others, and how he views himself. A lot of Martyn's treatment of Jimmy both within and after Evo make me grit my teeth but there's these saving factors... Where Martyn evidently does really care, and he'll at least sometimes express as much... What gets in the way is his tendency to be hot-headed and selfish, and skewed in his ways of affection and pride
It's so fucked up how Jimmy's led to believe to have been at fault for so many things that happen to him through all the deprecation and reinforcement of him being the worst player of the bunch. How when he apologizes, no one tells him he's no need to.
Before one of the portal hops, when everyone’s having a meeting to switch versions, someone trapped Jimmy in 4 Iron doors (idk who, Jimmy cut it out) but Grian goes "don’t worry I have a way to get you out of there" and blows the doors up with TNT. He then asks Jimmy to clean it up and Jimmy's all "sorry I'll clean it up" and he keeps apologizing. Another time when Jimmy loses a race in evo and Mini punches him "you're stupid, Jimmy, you're stupid, you should have won that race" to which Jimmy briefly flees before going back to him to apologize (doesn't that sound familiar...grrr)
It started with Martyn, who Jimmy followed around, supported, needed and missed, and then X Life Joel (Jeremyism) and then 3L Scott etc. Jimmy doesn't need to depend on anyone, that's just how his fucked up love life and expectations of affection (and when whether or not he deserves any) have gone, cause I feel the need to reinforce that Jimmy is very good and capable, he is!! If the damn Enderdragon fight is anything to go by if nothing else!! He should start murdering people!! Anyway
Appropriate time to think again about Martyn, in 3L, voicing concern over Scott slapping Jimmy around, when he has also admitted to using Jimmy ("Sometimes I feel that you use me" - "I 100% do")
For further similarities, few times Martyn scolded Jimmy, like when Jimmy accidentally kills Martyn at one point with a single pickaxe swipe and Martyn scolds him like "alright, now you get back on the surface, bring all my stuff back to me" and Jimmy can only stutter and make a few whimpers. His “How were you on that low H- How… Hmph :(“... I want someone to hold Jimmy so badly you don’t understand... or the time Jimmy and Martyn were standing by the blaze spawner to get double spawning rate, when for some reason Jimmy decides to leave and take a little gander alone at which Martyn very angrily goes "did you just leave? You can't do that! Are you guys seeing this teamwork??". He's getting scolded... No blazes were spawning and he got anxious and needed to go for a walk Martyn it's okay...
Also like. He lived and slept in the same room as Jimmy all throughout. Something about Jimmy only ever being part of at least SOMEWHAT nice relationships when he's sleeping together with that person and not alone. coughs
2. Jimmy and Netty (and Martyn) thoughts
Seeing as Netty's skin is a bush baby and she built a treehouse, I'm still sticking with the headcanon that little Martyn and Jimmy just found this creature (Netty) in the woods one day. Anyway
Martyn, Jimmy and Netty are on a goose chase and I found it really cute how they came across a decent water crossing, Martyn asks Netty in chat "boats or swim?" meanwhile Jimmy is already swimming off and Netty doesnt answer and just jumps in after Jimmy. He and Netty also fall down the exact same hole simultaneously later, it’s adorable.
When they make it to where the new portal is, Netty hits Jimmy into some water, to which Jimmy of course shakes his fist, and then later Netty accidentally nudged him to his death by fall. Jimmy said she will pay for her crimes, but it was an accident Jimmy... she didn't mean it that time... And then Netty's slowly crawling towards Jimmy with her head down, occasionally looking up with puppydog eyes no doubt. You know the cubito body language. But Jimmy's just shaking his head at her.... Jimmy feels bad though, I think, so he went up to her but she thought he was going to attack and ran away
Jimmy POV vs Netty POV (yeah I don't blame her for getting scared lol) Jimmy's disappointed though and says "I'm done with her" :(
In a later episode, Jimmy is helping Netty gather resources for her library. They go mining together, both having very little to their name and almost no torches, Jimmy mistakenly asks Netty for sticks before realizing he already has plenty but Netty gives him hers anyway and they rejoice and laugh about it... She also says "in real life I would actually trust you with my life but in Evo I do not want anything to do with you, you are too mischievous". Because this mentions the CCs specifically, and I'm strictly talking about characters, I'm not gonna think about it much but idk, I like that Netty's reasoning is "You're too mischevious" and they're just laughing about it. Netty's and Jimmy's banter in general is just really cute. There's a point where she's saying "Stop trying to make that a thing!" in response to Jimmy using this phrase "fan dabi dozi" with his own little inflection and when Jimmy asks "does it irritate you?" she says no, it makes her laugh. It's something about the way Netty does very much tease Jimmy but there's much less maliciousness in it than there is for some other people doing the same. She's not as quick to fault or accuse him, and she's quicker to laugh things off in unison and not at Jimmy
When they're done mining, Jimmy offers and gives her all the resources that he mined, to Netty's very genuine surprise though. Jimmy reasons "that's the whole reason I came with you" and like, yeah, he's right, this was established lol, but still... He's not being taken for granted... Netty didn't just assume he'd hand his resources over... And then Netty's New Years resolution is "to make Jimmy be less mean" ???? Netty.......
In spite of the few hiccups that I find hard to excuse though, Netty's attitude towards Jimmy is very similar to Martyn's when he's being nice. Basically what I already said a paragraph ago. Their banter is largely cute (when it involves Martyn, too, they make for a very fun and cute trio) and she spends the last episode with Jimmy and Pearl and it's very bittersweet
Other Jimmy things
There's a bit they do at the beginning of an episode where Jimmy attempts to propose marriage to Martyn. "Oh my god you need to see this, you need to see this, basically I've been... I've been thinking a lot lately and um-" - "Mate I'm already taken" (Martyn whips out the rose that Netty gave him early on and that he's kept in his hotbar ever since (mad cute btw))
At the very start of the SMP, Jimmy and Martyn immediately run off together and they're very sweet but anyway when Jimmy finds his first iron, he calls Martyn over to remember the occasion. Martyn then whips out 3 iron like “oops I already got some” but. Something about Jimmy treasuring the moment like that… Something about him and resources…
Jimmy is also claustrophobic apparently, with Martyn commenting about feeling bad about making him crawl through a tight space although Jimmy says it's fine. I'm just... thinking about 3L FH... their secure, claustrophobic base at the edge of the world away from everyone else... and Jimmy's few attempts of reaching out... Jimmy..... sorry this isn't about 3L uhhh
When Netty questions why Jimmy's bad at handling Creepers, he says "it's my parents"?? With the previous implication that the "chief" figure is Jimmy's dad, did the chief not teach him how to fight... This is kinda funny but also kinda sad because it makes me think of him being treated as the runt of the litter and no more, he was not the favorite child...
Zee throughout Evo is in direct opposition of the property police, being one of the two members of the mafia. He's responsible for doing and helping in many pranks aimed against the property police. In spite of this, near the end of the SMP, when he has reason to be upset with Jimmy, he's ultimately pretty nice about it... Jimmy's been stealing all his chickens from his chicken farm and not leaving any for Zee, but even then Zee is not that confrontational with him about it... Jimmy tries to derail, Zee catches on, Jimmy insists whilst also admitting to it and Zee's like "haha ok go on". Jimmy also tried to kill him but Zee caught on and killed him instead, but because it was with lava and all of Jimmy's stuff burned as a result (including all of Zee's TNT that he'd just stolen), Zee felt bad and gave him all the diamonds he had... Zee has 3 reasons to be upset with Jimmy, and Jimmy is usually the runt of the litter, the punching bag, and yet... Thank you Zee for being relatively kind to my son
Hello insane person for reaching this point. When my life series merch is ready I will start giving people like you discount codes at the ends of these posts. wink10 for 10% off. Remember it. Go read my X Life Jimmy thoughts too if you haven't. please
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Okay so im gonna just throw randomly my thoughts on sm6 while rewatching it cuz why not, I was doing the same thing for hazbin hotel so why not spooky month too?
So yeah, SPOOKY MONTH 6 SPOILERS WARNING‼️
Ok im just gonna say: that starting scene with thieves was kinda funny. Also rewatching it, im starting to suspect that this giant spider thing in Lilas attic have her husbands soul, IDK WHY, I JUST FEEL LIKE IT, it just looks so important, it even appeared twice in the ep: in the begining n in the end.
Also ARE WE JUST GONNA IGNORE HOW JAUNE CALLED LILA "HOT STUFF"??? WHILE HAVING A HUSBAND?????? A HUSBAND THAT SITTING NEARBY HER WHEN SHE SAYING THAT???????? ARE THEY IN A POLY RELATIONSHIPS HOLY FUCKING SHIT????????????? IM EVEN MORE INTRIGED NOW
Okay so Skid does know and remember his dad, I just was thinking that his father left/died when Skid still wasnt born or when he was very little so Skid doesnt even know that he had a father, but no he does remember his dad, so that means he presented for quite long time in Skids life.
Also im really suprised how big Pumps house is, well i mean— he said that his parents work alot so ig i shouldnt be suprised-
Poor Ignacio just wants some peace– *watched the ep a lil longer* Oh hes kinda fucked up actually---
Also for some reason i find kinda interesting that Ross n Rob were kinda comforting Roy every time they were on the screen like "We're here for you, Roy" etc etc, so im thinking maybe something bad happened to Roy? I mean he looked kinda frustrated n angry, so maybe somethng between him n his parents?
Okay but can we talk about how Moloch look so much more scarier than before?
Okay so--- get ready for my rambleling bout my boy Dexter-- HE LIVED WITH HIS MOM N ALOT OF CATS😭😭😭 N HIS MOMS PURE GRIEF BOUT HER LOSS WAS GENIUNALY SO SAD TO WITNESS 😭😭😭😭
Okay so looking at Skids impression when Father Gregor asked him bout his father-- yeah i think his dad actually died---- but i can be wrong ofc
Okay- im sorry but-- why does Kevin n Radfords interactions make them look like a couple--- I AM SORRY BUT----
Also the way Father Gregor gave Kevin holy water was really funny to me, it was like: "You know these children?? Yeaahhhh i feel bad for u, kid. Here have some holy water, just in case...." ALSO the fact that ppl started coming in the store ONLY after Radford sprinkled holy water in it-- DOES THAT MEAN THAT THERE WERE DEMONS IN IT THAT WERE KEEPING PPL AWAY???
Dont mind me guys, im just a little crying :')
Okay but the way how Skid n Pump were SO exited to see Moloch again was really funny n cute at the same time
Okay... This is the part when i literally teared up. I know it was just Moloch trying to fool Father Gregor to give him kids but idk.... It still made me tear up for some reason, and i even know the reason: i just miss Dexter so much n i didnt expect him to appear so much times in this ep, I just think hes a precious boy who deserved better. I KNOW THAT HE WAS KILLING ANIMALS N I DONT APPROVE THAT AT ALL, but hes still a sweetie idfc.
Also why would Patty need a gun so immediatly?..
Also that part when Moloch were wandering around the town n Father n spooky bois were trying to catch him was so funny and entertaining
Poor Pelo got ooffed again. Press F.
AND OMG THIS PART WHEN MOLOCH POSSESED SKID N PUMPS BODIES AND THE FATHER EXORCISMS THEM WAS SOOOO COOL, I DONT EVEN KNOW WHY, I THINK I JUST HAVE A THING FOR DEMONS N EXORCISM.
And this is the part where i actually cried alot. Poor Skid doesnt know that its not his fault at all.. Also even if Father Gregors words were kinda mean, that Lila is irresponsible mother, I cant disagree with them. Yes, she is an alone mother, but it doesnt give her permission to just leave her child to himself n his friend n go drink n then spent time w her child drunk. Yeah i know, that she leaves him to mr Wonder n Susie, but lets be honest, were here even a single time when the kids didnt just leave the house n cause problem? No. So i think the Fathers words are make perfect sense, n Lila should think bout it. Also a lil thing i just thought bout, why would Lila throw away her husbands stuff? If he actually died why would she do this? Or hes not dead n he just left for some reason? Idk
Also OMFG THAT OOGA BOOGA JUMPSCARE GOT ME SO FUCKING GOOD, I WASNT READY FOR AT ALL
and so ummm i think thats it. It took me 1 hour to write this lol.
#spooky month#spooky month hollow sorrows#spooky month spoilers#sm hollow sorrows#spooky month dexter#spooky month skid#spooky month pump#sm skid#sm pump#sm patty#spooky month kevin#sm kevin#spooky month roy#spooky month robert#spooky month radford#sm hatzgang#sm radford#sm robert#sm roy#spooky month lila#spooky month jaune#sm lila#thats alot of tags holy shit#my post
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Ok this is a little self insert but i couldn't stop thinking about this all week, C.C with a reader who thinks they're undeserving of stuff even tho they work hard ( you can see I'm going through it )
Let me explain, like they'll walk through the mall and see something that they like and would phisically have to turn away cause they think they don't deserve it and everytime they do this they look like they're in pain and stuff cause they are , emotionally.
Another thing they don't let C.C buy them stuff even if he offered with the excuse ,, but what are you going to buy me on my birthday" cause their birthday Is the only day that they cant say no
( sorry if it was a little but long )
It's his fifth run of the week. The incubus complained about forgetting to by a belt to match the new skirt he bought when he probably had a dozen in his horde to go with it. Exploring the mall, you stuck to your boyfriend's- not that he'd let you go far; complimenting every impulse buy and keeping your eyes on him to avoid gazing at shop windows. Still, you couldn't help but look at look around as you waited for him to exit the dressing room. You immediately regret the decision as you catch sight of a jacket that'd go great in your imaginary wardrobe. It's just take up space in your real one, so there was no point in dwelling on it.
"Hey babe, star buckle or heart?... Hm?" C.C marches over to see what's for you in a trance, bending with his hands to his knees as he whispers - "so - what are we staring at?"
You snap back to reality- eyes pointed down at his skirt. " Oh - uh, looks great, C."
He frowns. "This is the one I came in here with."
"..Still looks good on you."
He bounces to his feet with a sigh. "True - but this skirt just doesn't agree...." He trails off as he catches sight of something over your shoulder - sprinting of towards the mannequin wearing the same jacket you had noticed and tearing it off it's arms.
"Oh my gosh, isn't this just the cutest??? I was needing a new coat too so it's perfect timing. Think it'll look good on me, baby?"
Your shoulder slump. "Yeah....I'm sure it will."
C.C pays for his items and skips merrily out the mall with his task complete; bags in one hand and your hand in the other. He walks over to a bench and takes out his new coat, tearing off the tags and placing them and the receipt in the cigarette tray above the trashcan. He whips out his lighter and sets both ablaze as he faces you.
"Now I can't return this.... Alright, you little shit - how much longer are we going to play this game?"
"What are you talking about?"
C.C stomps over to you, shoving the jacket into your chest. "You want this fuckin' thing and don't try to deny it. It's true it would look amazing on me, but it would look even better on my boo. You are mine, right?."
"I-I guess, but-
"But nothing. You deserve every fucking thing your beautiful heart desires and it's my job as your man to give it to you." He pulls the jacket away, walking over to a puddle by the road. " - but if you really don't want it, you should have no problem with me throwing it away."
"Don't!" You run over to stop him - his fingers losing hold only when you're in range to grab the coat as it falls. The demon sports a grin as you discover the jacket is in your exact size. He pulls you in with an arm around your waist, nuzzling and placing a kiss to your cheek.
"Don't feel bad about wanting things, Y/n. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest and material objects are just another part of it. If it'll make you happy then let it. Plus, it's sorta my job to lead you down the path of temptation as a demon and all - but I'm your boyfriend first and more importantly.
You shut an eye as he kisses near your lids. "Thank, C.C..."
"Don't mention it. Now c'mon - we gotta get back before the deliveries get there."
"You order more things when we we're literally still at the mall?"
"Pfft - you think I'm blind? Baby, I watch you literally every second we're in that place because if I don't some little tramp might try to snatch you up. Guess you'll be sitting pretty on my lap tonight cuz it's Christmas time for you~"
#yandere x reader#yandere#yandere x you#yandere headcanons#yandere scenarios#yandere blurb#male yandere#yandere insert#yandere imagines#yandere oc#yandere incubus#soft yandere#yandere fluff#C.C my oc#yandere demon
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I've returned with yet another headcannon / rant thingy on the brothers / everyone buuuuuuuuut anyways
so we all know about the devilswitches and if i remember correctly the devildom equivelant (is that the right spelling??) of mario kart is devil kart or smth idrk what im on about rn lol buuuuuuuuuuut (and this has probably already been talked about before i just cant remember/ havent acctually gotten that far into the games) who would be the best at the game other than levi (in my opinion, sorry if this is a bit ooc)
so without further ado the list from best to worst out of the brothers in my opinion at the devildom equvalent of mario kart with explainations (theres a summarised version with the dateables at the end for those who dont wanna read my ramblings)
Levi - do i have to explain why
Belphegor - he and beel seem to be the ones who hang out with levi the most (other than mammon but he steals more than he plays) so i feel like with their own mini game nights beel and belphie would've picked up some form of skill when it came to the multiplayer games levi owns also i get weird speed demon vibes from belphie i know his sin is sloth and all but i feel like he'd be eerily good at racing games
Beel - pretty much the same as belphegor but he doesn't give me those kind of speed demon vibes like belphie does when it comes to video games and stuff he gives me more 'I'll play if you guys want to play' kinda vibes yet still manages to get a decent score everytime cause he would have picked up some form of skill from playng with
Satan - lets be honest he probably plays the game secretly when he doesn't have anything to read or do purely so he can be better than lucifer at family game nights whenever levi gets to chose the game, satan probably has a secret chart of the games his brothers tend to chose most offten and any new games that enter the house of lamentation mans is doing the most he can whilst still being secretive to master as many of the games in the hol aspossible just so he can hold it over luci's head the only games on his chart that he hasn't been able to master to a point where he can beat lucifer are the games lucifer choses on the gamenights
Lucifer - i dont know man i just feel like lucifer would be better than mams and asmo at the game
Mammon - he's literally just getting distracted by the coins on the track and blabbering on about the coin limit and how he can hold so much more grimm than that before attempting to prove himself by asking (begging) his brothers for grimm so he can prove his point if they decide to give in and hand him some grimm so he can prove his point he's dropping all of it trying to run way with the grimm in his arms before sheepishly returning with a singular coin in his hand picking up some of the grimm he dropped
Asmodeus - lets be so for real right now he probably refuses to play this game because he hates how focusing so much distracts him from time he could be spending pampering himself or making sure his nails are painted just the right shade or the fact that when most game nights are happening they start to eat into his precious beauty sleep (dont worry asmo i get you i should be sleeping rn) he probably only participetes in the games he knows he'll win in (aka the games he gets to chose) or the games where he can team up with someone and have them do most of the work (usually satan) if he's acctually plaing this game with everyone else he's acctually not he's going through every character and talking about their outfits before chosing who he dubs the cutest for that night and then making the cutest cart he can to suit the charcter until one of the other brothers gets bored and tells asmo he can sit out of the game and just watch
if i were to add the others the list would probably look something like this and i dont wanna write that much so i'll just summarise my reasons for everyone
levi - the reasons are obvious
belphegor - like i said speed demon vibes
barbatos - also gives off speed demon vibes
beel - some sort of stange skill gained
satan - wants to be better than luci
solomon - wants to get a pact with luci
lucifer - would just be better than asmo and mams
diavolo - he just wants to enjoy the game
luke - no particular reason other than it'd be funny to watch mammon lose to him
mammon - idiot
asmo - beauty sleep / pampering self / takes to long to decide
simeon - i love simeon but lets be honest he probably wouldn't even be able to use the controls
if anyone acctually read through all that thank you if you just skipped to the summarised part also thank you it makes my day to know someone at least looked at these (expecially this one it took me atleast an hour between me playing mario kart and me getting distracted) i may return with more ideas that may not be original but i've put my own spin on dont expect any big fics maybe a drabble or rant here and there but if i do decide to continnue posting obey me content it will most likely be dumb little headcannons like this or funny things i find in the games as i continue to play them through (for the third time in the past 2 years, barely made it past lesson 18 and then my laptop died so i had to restart) (
forgot to add this before posting buuuut) I hope everyone have a good night/day (evening, morning, breakfast lunch?? diner????)
racing to the masterlist
#obey me#obey me headcanons#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me diavolo#obey me barbatos#obey me solomon#obey me simeon#obey me luke#obey me one master to rule them all
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Could you do some rival Headcanons between epic and cross sans fighting over us? Like every second you cannot breath, each of them trying to one up each other to show who would treat you better. This idea has been floating in my head for a bit, so just wanted to finally request it. (Also, can we be gender neutral? And romantic, obviously) Thank you and have a good day/night! :)
Hello hun! Sorry this took me a little while - I've had to work more than normal recently. But THANK YOU FOR THE ASK!! I thi k this is my first from a non-moot so im so excited to be able to write this for you! I hope you have a lovely day / night as well :D sorry if this isnt that long, im trying to get some confidence in my writing lolol
Epic & Cross x Reader
Cross doesn't like fighting Epic since they are pretty close but this doesn't stop him from getting competitive.
Epic, on the other hand, loves play fighting and competing with Cross! He's not aggressive about it, he just does it for fun.
Cross is usually trying to prove himself worthy of your affection in some way while Epic just likes flirting and making you laugh.
Epic is surprisingly good at flirting but often settles for making you laugh because he loves it so much.
Sometimes Epic flirts with cross too just to fuck with him lmaoo - Cross is always baffled and a mess when it happens. Its pretty funny to watch tbh.
Most people assume youre a polycule. Epic doesnt help dispel that with his flirting. I mean a poly relationship could probably work.
You will never know alone time again if you don't set those boundaries. They're both Clingy!!
Given the chance, Cross will escort you everywhere - hes like your own personal bodygaurd. (You dont know how he knows your schedule so well or how he finds you so easily when going out.)
Epic also shows up a lot. Hes usually the one initiating lunch & dinner dates between y'all. Well, its not obvious theyre dates but they basically are, lmao.
They do try to one up each other but you'll next to never see them fight. You may catch them bickering about who did better, though. Epic likes instigating and Cross can be sassy.
They may have a fight about you once. Other than that they are chill because they're so close and Epic often gets Cross to communicate.
The fight would probably be mostly on Cross. He would get mad that he fell for someone his best friend likes. He would be upset that he "couldn't have someone himself" both because he feels guilty about Epic and for personal issues (he's lost a lot). Then he'd be mad that he thought that way and felt jealous. He wouldn't like how selfish he feels. Epic talks him through it, though. And talks some sense into him :]
Cross may be quiet most of the time but he is hanging around more often than not. He's just sort of ... supervising lol. Its comforting in an odd way. He likes the quality time too.
Sometimes Epic gets you alone, though. He gets you two to do relaxing things together like a picnic or video games.
He can be surprisingly tender and romantic but he will ruin it with a joke after surprising you or flustering you with the romance so cherish the moment while you can. Good luck, too. ;P
Cross is a mixed bag. One moment he's purposely suave and dashing then the next he cant get a sentence out . Its like he has moments of clarity then goes back to being a dork.
On a few occasions they will team up on you. I don't think they would really plan it unless it was your birthday or something special like that. When they do it it's usually just an accident and their moods synced to cause chaos.
When they team up they are menaces! Epic would be all gentle and romantic with flirty, witty remarks while Cross would be the type to guide you by the small of your back, leaning in to tell you things. And you know he'd be saying stuff like he's your personal knight! "I'll always be there for you." || "if you ever need anything just come to me, I'll take care of you." And shit like that.
Augh they would have you cornered but like in a good way. Cross always behind you, making sure you're safe while Epic leads you around by the hand. I hate them. I actually love them damn it.
Sometimes they get needy and steal you away for a while. The dorks.
Epic "kidnaps" you to cuddle up somewhere and read or watch a movie. He's very touchy (respectfully) so if you're okay with it he will be all over you. He especially loves it if you act as his weighted blanket and lay on him.
Cross gets grouchy and takes you somewhere on an "adventure". Most of the time it'll be somewhere without people. If the place has rough terrain he'll likely try to convince you to let him carry you lol. "You got it?" / "you tired?" / "want help?" Any reason to be close or touching you if you'll allow it.
If you're more of a low and mellow energy person he'll set up a special spot where he sets up stuff for one of your hobbies (if he can) somewhere hidden and will hang out with you.
Stars forbid you give only one of them a gift. They won't guilt you or be mean, but they will rub it in the others face subtly. If they're the one who didnt get something then Epic would jokingly act all clingy and pouty while Cross glares at him. Speaking of, Cross would stand closer than normal and Low-key pout if he didn't get something. Like a cat who wants something from you.
If you're the more affectionate, touchy type then you're going to likely always have one of them touching you if they're around. Epic practically hangs off of you while Cross just has a hand on you somehow. They have probably scent marked you, accidentally or not. They just clingy bois.
Also - not in a kinky way - but Cross has a high chance of biting you during prolonged physical contact lol. It's just a quirk of his. Its like cuteness aggression but in a loving way. You can think of it as kisses it a way.
He wouldn't mention it if you dont but it is a good way to fluster him >:3c
As for trying to be better than each other i think they would choose some things you like and try to be "the best" at it?? Like... lets say you collect shells. Suddenly they are finding great shells - in tact and pretty - and giving them to you. Same with trinkets. Or finding weird coffee mugs if you like those.
Epic also is that bitch who has a lot of money and just sugar daddies his friends LMAOO. You want that expensive thing? Dont worry bby hes got it kcjsbsbsb. If hes crushing on you it just gets worse and more ridiculous.
Cross is the one who has dedication to getting you things. So if something is about timing or searching hard for it he's the one to go to. He also just brings you random things like a bird..?? You dont even know where he gets half the stuff he shows up with. You may even just find stuff on a table in your house randomly.
Also, for no apparent reason, kareoke becomes a thing between y'all. You have no choice /j
#epic sans x reader#epic sans#epic x reader#cross x reader#cross sans x reader#x reader#cross sans x you#epic sans x you#x you#x you fluff#cross is lowkey a yandere but its fine#epic is like “its chill we can share”#they feel like a package deal but are okay with it if you only choose one#GVShark headcanons#GVShark writes
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Farewell to All the Earthly Remains
Synopsis: He loved them. That’s why he had to make this decision no matter how much it hurt. It was for the better. This was how it should’ve been.
Notes: OC-insert / Pressure OC / Oberon Sol x GN!Reader / can’t believe i wrote that… / pre-pressure Oberon / talk about death / fluff leading to angst, no happy ending / reader is dying, cause is left open for interpretation / some scenes are based on recent game stuff I’ve been doing on roblox / if anyone knows what the title is referencing ily forever / oberon lore!
Credits: dividers by @cafekitsune
(here’s the oberon x reader i promised you 😭😭 i cant believe im doing this but hey, oberon lore and you get to know a little more about him so win i guess. i have been wanting to write more for him tbh. i don’t think i’ll put him on the list since he’s like… my oc, yknow? i think it’ll be more of like a treat? not everyone knows who he is so yeah.)
Every now and then, there was a young man who’d sit on the bench by the tree as a crow or two had hung around him. Sometimes there were three, sometimes four. He seemed to always have food for them, and every time, not a moment too soon, the crows would be there waiting for him. Then, while the crows went on about their day, he’d simply people-watch his time away.
He’d almost never actually speak to anyone who passed by unless they spoke to him first. Sometimes, those people scared off the crows, but sometimes they stayed. Sometimes the children who pass by want to play with the crows, and he’d have to tell them how they should handle them. Sometimes, people would observe from afar. They would admire, question, maybe even feel a little uncomfortable knowing what crows tend to represent.
A bad omen. An impending change. An unexpected change. Death.
Maybe sometimes it looked a little unsettling, but that didn’t seem to stop you from watching from afar. Every time he was there, whether alone or someone had him preoccupied, you’d watch him and try to build up your courage to talk to him.
You slowly approached him from behind, but you didn’t get very close as the man turns around and crows suddenly flew away. Only now did you realize his eyes are red. His eyes had widened and looked back to the crows. A part of him seemed a bit startled and sad that the crows left.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare them off,” you quickly apologized.
When he looked back to you, he smiled, “It’s alright. They always come back anyway. They just need to get to know you, that’s all,”
You nervously laughed, “Is it alright if I sit with you?”
“Of course. I don’t mind at all. I don’t think they mind too much either,”
He’s referring to the crows. Either way, you were still nervous as you sat down next to him.
“I believe it is considered rude to sneak up on someone the way you did,” he suddenly adds.
You immediately tensed, “I-I didn’t mean to be rude! I just didn’t know how I should approach you and I’m honestly not very good at this kind of stuff and-!”
He laughs, cutting you off, “Please, don’t stress yourself over such things. I understand not everyone can start a conversation with a stranger, but maybe it’s not the best first impression, yes?”
“You’re right. I’m sorry,”
“Let’s start over then. My name is Oberon,”
You looked at him and smiled, “[Name], it’s nice to meet you,”
At this point, one of the crows came back. It was like they were testing the waters and slowly walking closer. Then another came back, and then another.
“If you don’t mind me asking… Did you happen to be named after a moon?” You bring up to try and keep the conversation going. Although, maybe it wasn’t the best thing to bring up.
“Oh? Do you happen to be interested in astrology?”
“Yeah, kind of,”
“You’d be correct then. My name came from a moon of Uranus,”
More crows came back and both of your attentions had been redirected to them. Oberon seemed to have more food for them and began to give all of them their share. One of the crows eventually made their way up to his shoulder while another had went to perch on his hand. The others were either on the bench or interacting with each other on the grass.
“Did you name any of them?”
He lets out a faint laugh, “If I did, I would grow too attached to them. I figured it’d be best if I didn’t. They are still wild animals, after all,”
“That’s true. You can’t really cage a wild animal,” you continued to watch the crows seemingly all accept Oberon as one of their own.
It looked rather strange. It was like a variation of the ones who would be surrounded by pigeons.
…you feel so awkward. He was welcoming and didn’t mind company or a conversation, but it felt so difficult to talk to him. You kept your hands on your lap, completely tense. You dragged yourself into this, and it’d be even more awkward if you just decided to bail now. Maybe even embarrassing.
Oberon suddenly holds a few seeds to you, “Do you want to try feeding them?”
“H-Huh? Are you sure?”
“You’re tense. Maybe this can help you relax,”
You look at him for a moment, then down at the seeds. The crows already looked interested, but seeing as you were there too, they didn’t go for it. With a shaky hand, you accepted to try it.
“Take a deep breath and relax yourself,” he continues, “Avert your gaze, let the birds know you’re not a threat to them. They’ll know the food’s safe. They’ll warm up to you,”
You did as he said. You calmed yourself as you stared out towards the field. You can hear the crows making small noises. It was like they were discussing if they should trust you or not. You can see a crow in the corner of your eye inching closer and closer to your hand before it snatches up a seed and moves back.
It was silent, and then another decided to try it too.
“See? They’re not going to hurt you. They just want to talk,”
You blinked and turned to Oberon. He was talking to the crow on his hand. Before you knew it, the other crows had already taken all of the seeds you had. You did feel more relaxed, but they still seemed cautious about you. Trust with birds doesn’t come easy after all.
One had suddenly come up to your blind spot and cawed at you. When they see you jump slightly, it jumps off and onto the ground to join the others. It was like they were laughing. You can hear Oberon holding back his laughter, and you couldn’t help but laugh yourself.
The two of you would continue talking for a while. Time was practically lost. The crows would eventually start moving away, some even leaving. Oberon seems to take that as a sign and stands up.
“I suppose that’s time, then,”
“Off to do other stuff?”
“By stuff, it’s mostly work,” he admits, “Lots of work to do. This was just my own little break,”
You pulled out your phone to check the time, but then you hesitantly asked, “Do you think we can stay in contact? I’d love to talk more if that’s okay…?”
He looked at you with a surprised expression, but he still smiled, “I’d love that. Would same time tomorrow suffice?”
“Oh, yeah!” You nodded.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then, [Name],”
You watched him leave and observed the remaining crows who stayed behind. There was one who lingered closer to you and sort of pecked at your shoes. Maybe you’ll come here on your own time just for the birds as well.
You and Oberon have been meeting up quite frequently the past few weeks. Sometimes it was during his routine of feeding his corvids, while others were a bit sudden as you had run into each other. This time, you two ran into each other in a dessert buffet. It had just opened a few days ago and you found the time to have a look, and it seems like he had the same idea.
“To be honest, I didn’t expect you to be into sweets,”
“D-Do I really give off such an impression?” He stuttered, “I try to make it a habit to eat different kinds of food. I was hoping maybe this buffet could have something new,”
You smiled, “I think I heard they have quite a variety of treats. I wonder what kind of cake they have,”
“I’m hoping that they have a red velvet cake. I’ve never tried it before,”
“I’m pretty sure they do. I saw a video of someone reviewing it already which is why I even came here, actually,”
He turns to you with a smile, “Oh? Looks like you already know what’s in here,”
“Only a few things! Maybe they added new stuff? Even though it’s only been a few days…?”
“Only one way to find out, then,”
The two of you were given a table that was on the second floor which did give you a good view. Once that was settled, you were free to get whatever you’d like. There was a wide variety you could choose from. They even had some sandwiches you could choose. After a few minutes of deciding, your plate was filled with some of your favorites. The table was still empty when you came back. Looks like Oberon is still searching around, so you sit down and place your plate and cup of your preferred drink down. You didn’t get too much as you can always go back down to get more if you wanted to.
About a minute passes by and Oberon came back with two plates full of treats. He found the red velvet cake and cupcake, he had some eclairs, croissant, macarons… He might as well eat everything in this buffet.
“Wow. Didn’t think you’d REALLY love these,” you laughed.
His face turns red in embarrassment, “Everything looked so good! I couldn’t decide!”
You take another bite out of what you had picked up, “You can leave your plates here. I’ll watch ‘em while you get something to drink,”
“Thanks,”
He carefully places them down and almost runs back down the stairs. The sight of that was amusing, and looking at his plate… It’s taking all of your strength to not steal one of them. He won’t notice, right? Right?
No, no. That’s rude. He probably won’t be too happy about it. Who knows how he’d react? You looked away and continued eating your own to try and not think about it. It doesn’t take too long for him to return with a cup. You watched as sparkles seemingly appeared in his eyes as he ate. Hell, you swear you can see sparkles surrounding him.
Even after you got your second plate and finished what you had picked up, he pushed for a fourth plate to get whatever he hadn’t tried. It was pretty impressive to see he can eat that much, and it was nice to see such a happy look on his face. In the end, he seemed satisfied with the experience.
You two stayed to chat for a little while longer, even going back down to grab another drink. Oberon offered to pay when the topic of the bill came up and you didn’t mind, but you still felt like you could’ve at least paid for what you ate. He did get a lot to eat after all. Even if you offered to pay your share, he would’ve insisted he handle it.
You checked your phone for the time as Oberon offers to walk you home as it started to get dark, which you thanked him for. It also meant a little more time with him.
You lightly shoulder bumped him, “Did you have fun?”
“Of course I did,” he smiles, “The food was good, we had a very nice view… I had really fun with you,”
You tried not to blush at that comment, but you can already feel your cheeks heating up, “We should go together again some time. What do you think?”
“I’ll let you know whenever I can. Of course, as long as your schedule allows you to,”
“Oh yeah, that reminds me. I never asked what you do for work, so I hope you don’t mind me asking now,”
“Hm, what if I keep you in the dark there for now?”
“Sounds mysterious. Alright, fine,” you smile.
As you continued to walk, you notice that Oberon seems to like looking up at the stars. There wasn’t that many out tonight, but that didn’t stop him. Part of him looked a little sad though. You eventually pass by the graveyard your home happened to be close to and Oberon’s attention immediately shifted towards it. It was almost strange, but maybe he lost someone. You’re not one to pry.
He stopped walking all of a sudden, “Do you think those people were afraid?”
“Huh?” You stopped to turn to him, “Afraid of what?”
“Of dying. Were they scared in their final moments?”
You didn’t know what to say at first. As you looked to the countless tombstones that scattered across the field, that same question would repeat in your mind. Were they scared? Were their final moments filled with fear that they wouldn’t be at peace?
“I think… Some of them were. I mean, who wouldn’t be, right?” You hum, “But I also think some felt happy even in death,”
“Why’s that?” He questioned, his voice almost in a whisper.
“Maybe they were happy with how their life came out to be. Or maybe they were surrounded by family and knew they were the last ones they could see,”
Oberon is silent. You turn to him to see his sorrowful expression. It almost looked like he didn’t believe a word you just said, but he doesn’t speak of it.
You gently tug on his sleeve, “Oberon, are you… Afraid of death?”
“I wouldn’t say that,” he quietly admits, “I’m just… I’m just confused. Even when you led a life you wanted to live, one where you accomplished everything you wanted to. Even when you’re surrounded by people who love you, wouldn’t you be at least a little afraid?”
You looked down, hesitating to hold his hand, “Yeah, maybe that’s how some felt deep down,”
“Do you believe there is an afterlife?”
“I like to think there is. I mean, that can’t be it, right? Our lives suddenly come to an end and suddenly there’s just…nothing?”
“Is that why some are afraid? There may just be nothing on the other side?”
You looked down, “Maybe, but I don’t think they thought of that even in their final moments,”
“…I hope you’re right,”
Both of you continued to stare at the graveyard in silence. You really do wonder why he brought that up.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I brought up such a topic. Come on, we’re almost there, right?”
“Oh, yeah,”
For the rest of the way, you two walk side by side and in silence. He would walk you to your door, say good night and goodbye, and you’d watch him disappear into the dark through your window. Something about him was strange, but strange in a rather interesting way. You wonder if the feeling is mutual.
When you awoke, you were… in your room. It was just as you had left it. Was that a dream? A very, very long dream that felt all too real? You leaned forward as you gently rubbed your head. It was such an odd dream, yet with the remaining moments of what you remember from it, you can’t help but feel warm all of a sudden.
That man you’ve been meeting with. He was sweet, gentle, and patient. He loved the bakery you invited him to. He loved crows and fed them whenever he could. His view on death was… interesting. He was afraid. He was confused when others didn’t seem to be afraid of their end and rather embraced it. Had he lost someone before? Is that why he was afraid? Maybe you should ask him next time you meet.
Just as you were going to stand up, you hear footsteps approaching. Your door suddenly opens and a strange man entered. He had a black mask and black horns. There were two pairs of wings on him, one located on his head while the other pair rested beside his waist. There was even a halo above his head.
An angel? You must be dreaming again…
The white eyes on the mask almost looked sad when he saw you, “I apologize for the intrusion. I’m sure you have many questions, and I assure you they will be answered. Most, at least. It depends on the question,”
You tried to stay calm just to make sure this was indeed a dream. You’ll wake up any minute now, right?
“How did you get in my house?”
He shakes his head, “While it may appear to be, this isn’t a house. It’s a room, your room. Where you are is my realm that resides in the line between life and death. It only appears as this because this place is where you feel the safest,”
You feel your heart beginning to pound against your chest. Between life and death? Realm?
“W-Who are you?”
The man pauses as he went to pull a chair over and sat down in front of you, “You…may refer to me as Mr. Sol,”
“What are you?”
“I suppose the closest thing I can call myself in your words is a grim reaper, but I am not here to collect your soul. Perhaps I can describe it as…guiding your soul,”
Grim reaper? Soul? He’s not an angel?
“Guiding my soul? Where?”
“That’s for you to decide,”
Mr. Sol has been strangely open about answering such questions. It’s hard to tell if he is lying or telling the truth. It may be the mask, but his tone seemed genuine.
“I don’t understand. Am… Am I dead?”
Mr. Sol looked down for a moment, and the white eyes closed, “Not yet,”
“What happened to me?”
His eyes open at that question, “You don’t remember?”
When you shake your head, he starts looking around. A few drawers open and eventually, a file is pulled out from one of them. He opens it, giving it a quick read before closing the file and holding it to you.
“This will explain everything. From the moment you were born to your eventual end,” he says, “But it is up to you to read it,”
You stare at the file then briefly looked at him. Your entire life, and it’s in a small file that he holds in his hands. Hesitantly, you grab the file and open it. A picture of you, your name, your age, your date of birth, your family, your school life… It was all there. The final paragraph detailing your fate was suddenly cut off, but the moments that happened before was all there. You were dying.
You look up at him, “You said you will guide me to where I want to go. What do you mean by that?”
Mr. Sol pauses yet again. He crosses his legs and his hands rest on his lap, “[Name], I am giving you the choice to continue where your life had left off or to end it. I am giving you the choice to go back, to wake up in the living world continue with the life you planned for yourself. I am giving you a second chance,”
“And if I say no?”
“Death awaits,” was all he said. His tone had shifted slightly as he said that.
It was an easy choice. Anyone would want to continue living. Anyone would give anything for a second chance when absolutely nothing was being asked for in return. You’d even see him again. You wonder if he had tried contacting you during that moment. He must be worried.
“This is the only chance I get, right?”
He nods, “Yes. It is all I can give you,”
“So we won’t be meeting again, huh?”
“It’d be best if we didn’t…”
Should you? The answer feels obvious, so you finally give him your answer.
“I’d like to go back,”
Mr. Sol nods and stands up, holding out a hand to you. He pulls you up to your feet and suddenly pulls you closer to him. He held your hand close to where his heart should be.
“I must tell you, once we go back, you won’t remember your time with me. You won’t remember a thing about me,” he lets out a shaky breath, almost like he was holding back tears, “I’m sorry,”
The crows seem to like hanging around the bench you often sit at. You’re not quite sure why. It’s not like you had any food on you for them. One of them was even sitting on the bench, looking up at you almost like you were an old friend. You only stared back, wondering why a flock had decided to hang out around with you.
One suddenly flew off and soon, the others followed one by one. You watched them leave and begin to surround a man walking down the path. He had held out a hand for one to perch onto.
Ah, maybe they were only just waiting for him. Crows can remember faces after all, and perhaps they accepted him as their friend. It was strange. You’d think it would be pigeons one would be surrounded by, but this man had attracted and befriended them. He must be very knowledgeable with them, maybe even grew up with them.
You smiled, stifling a laugh. It’s not often you see something like that, but it is a sight to behold. You wonder just how long it must’ve taken the flock to accept him.
The man continued down the path beyond your sight. The crows follows his steps and look up at him, almost begging for more food. The one on his hand caws, turning its head towards their usual meeting spot.
He shouldn’t have allowed you to get so close in the first place. He shouldn’t have allowed himself to get so attached.
I am actually ashamed to say I made an Oberon disguising as a human and I hate it so much he looks like a generic anime boy
UGHH I LITERALLY COULD NOT LOOK AT HIM HELP MEEEE 😭😭😭
BOY KEEP YOUR MASK ON
#🌑 // the moon provides#🌑 // listen to his story#pressure oc#roblox pressure oc#roblox oc#oc x reader#oc insert#pressure x reader#x reader#original character x reader#roblox x reader
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Anon that was probably saying sorry, I said sorry because I find what clown roll was saying judgy, it's not easy being broke and not being able to afford food, the last thing a poor person needs is a lecture on how unhealthy their lifestyle is. Like of course it's not healthy, you think someone would CHOOSE to live like that? To eat nothing but trash? Pretty sure if spamton could be eating something not out of the trash he WOULD, he doesn't need someone rubbing how awful his life is in his face when he doesn't really have a way to make it better, like "oh yeah just get some food not in the trash" for free??? Or if you're expecting him to pay, with what money??? I swear financially well off people seem to just forget you need money to do almost anything because of how much they have. If clowny roll really cared so much they should give him some damn money to buy something, granted maybe they can't because of askbox rules, but still.
THAAANKK YOU DUDE arrghhhhh,, frustrates me a little because theres some people in this box talking to him like he has a choice!!! HE DOESNT!!! I already did a WHOLE nasty thing with a whole bunch of the asks rubbing that shit in his face as if it were an apology,, reminding CONSTANTLY with stuff like "I had trouble finding sucess once!" sorry but that doesnt help guys... This isnt some one time thing where hes down in the dumps cause he got fired or smth HES HOMELESS... thankfully ive stopped getting those, but now its THESE ones about how unhealthy his lifestyle is............... like yeah......... hes not fucking stupid he knows....... they talk to him like hes a child waaghhh /lh Like, heres some examples, sorry to these anons, but if i had chosen your ask you'd get yelled at by Spamton AND the audience anyways,, so heres some that i think maybe... they forgot he cant really do a whole lot....
...do you see the irony in this one......
guuuyyyysss do you see the freaking issue here???? "EAT HEALTHER!"
huh.
what.....
WITH WHAT FOOD????? WITH WHAT OPTIONS???? sorry lmfaoo... but like. "doesn't mean you shouldnt try to do better!" WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOUSAYING RIGHT NOW... HES NOT CHOOSING TO????? HES ALWAYS "TRYING TO DO BETTER"... DID YOU GUYS MISS THE POST POINTING OUT THAT HE EVEN HAS TROUBLE FINDING SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT /REGULARLY/??? pleeaaseeee dude save me pleese wauughh
But. Dont go after anyone,, esp Clowny Roll!!!!! I think a lot of them dont ....really think about it. I also have a tinge of a feeling that Clowny Roll has a bit of bait intention with theirs!! nothing wrong with that!
#NMDRVDNMKNKFGNKFGNGNGGGRHHHH#GUYS READ WHAT YOURE FUKCING SENDING TO HIM PLEEAASEE#ALL LIGHTHEARTED BUT GODDDD#Hes really trying NOT to eat straight garbage if he can#He JUST opened and ate some canned stuff#which is pretty damn good for what he can get#and earlier in the askbox he ate a CD bagel#OFC the cake slice too#like hes really trying#when its not bare minimum addison scrap diet hes trying#really really hard#YOU DONT GET IT GGRHHHHRGHH#and the thing is you guys have barely scraped the surface of that big reference sheet theres so damn much#esp with like#the way everything works w his condition or whatever the hell it is#[ygm!] questions#RATTLING THE BARS OF MY CAGE#PUNCHING THE BRICK WALLS#SCREAMING YELLUING INTO A TIN CAN WITH THE YARN CUT#LET ME OUTTTTTT /J
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