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l-flyhight · 1 year ago

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" cold rain - fever pitch"

Chasing veruca in the dense mud was futile. Slowing the bears considerably.

"Blade you cant keep going like this!"

Their previous skirmish with the weasle left the bear with a sprained ankle. She was determined but reckless. Po offered a reasurring hand. She shrugged it away dejected.

The bear was annoyed. First the pirates and now veruca had the weapons. She trembled. Ire rose and her blood boiled.

The wind howled in anguish. Leaves in tandom fled from their forests. Grey clouds argued and rumbled in protest.

Po shivered. Not used to the bitterness of englands unpredictable weather.

"Well, it couldnt possibly -"

Blade abruptly spat at him.

"DONT YOU DARE SAY IT!"

An icy deluge cascaded the two. Rain fell from the heavens with reckless abandon.

"Worse...heheh"

Blade rolled her eyes.

"Achoo!"

"Humph, Welcome to England po"

"Dont be like that besides i doubt veronica urm veruca will get far. Without this anyway"

He held the storm wheel before thd bear. Blade blinked. Unsure of how he even had it. Reading her expression he continued.

"You travel around with a master theif and your bound to pick up a few things, right?"

The knight in name only sighed. Her deamonor softened slightly.

"Come on. Lets get out the rain before you catch your death out here"

The panda shivered as if agreeing with her.

Not far was a small house. Medieval in its structure paved with wood and stone. Quaint. It bore some charm however.

-----

A fire burnt in the open fire place. Embers splintered and cracked. Warmth enveloped the room offering reprieve from the cold.

Po and blade had dried off. Ate some stew and place the storm wheel out of harms way. Sitting in front of the fire they were comfortable amongst cushions. both had blankets wrapped around them.

Po was still shivering. Fearing he had a fever the large bear sits next to him. Attempting to rid him of the ice still in his veins.

"Its never simple. With all but one of the weapons gone. The whole affair with those pirates. Veruca on the loose...im not so certain anymore...."

A soft smile graces pos features. The crackling of the fire breaking the silence.

"Heyyy hey its gonna be ok. Weve come this far, right? Blade dont fret. Promise well get back the weapons, stop veruca and well do it. Together yeah?"

Blade turned away from him. She wanted to believe in his words, desperately but doubt made her recoil. The panda shifted his weight towards her, wanting to offer reassurance.

"Blade...i....look, i dont know whats in store for us. But regardless were in this together..."

Warmth suddenly pooling in his chest. Her gaze met his. The panda's heart rang in his ears. Their it was again. That bizarre feeling. Invading his senses. Thoughts blurred with a strange notion. His stomach started to cramp.

The tension over the months was impalable. Po was confused with these feelings. Forced them down. Blade simply ignored it. Often storming off abruptly. Avoiding it as best she could.

He couldn't recall when the gap between them shifted. Drawing close. Blade grew hesitant. His nose, despite his anxiety affectionately skimmed her cheek. A nuzzle. Chaste. Blade found herself returning it. Slow. Affectionate.

It was simply primeval. Deep rooted. Nuzzling wasnt something practiced in this time of age. But instinctual blood from ages past beckoned. The nuzzle grew.... intimate. Soft and loving. Lost in the action.

Before long pos blanket had bunched up on his lap. His paw rested on her knee. The nuzzle while soft grew. Blade couldn't help it. His warmth was soothing. Almost addicting.

For a fleeting moment their lips brushed past. Often their noses touched as did the shadow of their lips. Not a kiss but if it continued Blade wouldn't be able to stop. She hated it. Knowing deep down hed have to leave her. To abandon these shores and her. She would not tolerate him cutting her that deep and yet he had done so anyway. She cursed him.

Abrupty she took controll. Ignoring the pain in her chest. Strong and sudden she held his shoulders and pushed him away.

"Dont...please dont"

The panda was confused by her sudden out burst. Before he could offer his apolagies she walked off.not even looking back at him.

"Good night po"

It was cold. His deamour now one of guilt. He had crossed a line and blade rebuked him. He let his instincts take hold and he felt terrible... his training taught him to be one with both the ying and yang, to be above earthly presuits....his heart ached and yet so did Lutheras'.....

#traditional drawing #kung fu panda dragon knight #kung fu panda #luthepo #polade #drabble #kfp po #kfp fanart #fanfiction #po x wandering blade

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lunarsights · 3 months ago

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im still confused as to how the whole adore x hybe thing came about and honestly props to both illit and newjeans for not overreacting the way the adults in charge of their respective groups have mishandled them. in a way the two groups handled their current situation better than those in charge and it boggles my mind how such " adults" get put in charge of literal minors.

it kinda gives off um p3d0 vibes a lot of the time. ik kpop is rampant for appealling to naive girls and boys but I still think that groups can still coexist without too much competition. as you csn see with for instance skz and ateez they both coexist maturely without much competition between the groups despite doing vastly different performances. it just gives sleazy wannabe wealthy but really they are making bigger deals out of nothing vibes too. bc we know kpop puts more unhealthy emphasis on the imagery and less on the music itself. I dont know if itll be kpops downfall but as of late with everything that seems to be sturring about in the media towards idols and those in charge of said idols, ehh i dont really get good vibes from it these days. I very much think eventually its a trainwreck waiting to happen. maybe its bit off more than it can chew, got too much going on at once and cant really separate their greediness for general interest in what these groups want to achieve.

and even if mhj does become less bigoted she is still a pos for escalating this issue in the first place. do u think all the negatives that go on in kpop is complete karma? someone else stated that things can often be a cover up for worse things so is this really a pr stunt? a distraction tactic?

illit, newjeans, le sserafim, and all othe groups mentioned in the whoel debacle have really been mature about everything for sure. i think companies/"the adults" get very caught up in the money and therefore have little foresight of how these things impact idols. they don't care what happens to who as long as they still make a profit, you know?

i'd also point out competition always exists: even amongst groups we think don't show it (and sometimes it's pushed by fans instead of companies). as someone who's a staytiny, ateez and skz literally competed in kingdom and although members kept it friendly and strictly to the show - fans hyped everything up and made it seem real and even kept it going afterwards. i think this is happening with illit/newjeans/le sserafim also. all those girls like one another; they probs message each other, do challenges, and all types of other things. it's mainly the general public and their companies that create this idea of them competing fiercely.

i don't know if karma is the right word, but i believe everything done in the dark will be brought to light - even if it seeminly takes forever to happen, and pluto in aqaurius especially makes the statement true. pluto in aquarius is all about creating havoc and clearing out traditional channels of life that have operated under circumstances against society's greater purpose or ideals. so, if you count that as karma then i'd say yes.

i think people go too far with the pr stunt/distrction tactic takes. none of this is helpful for hybe, min heejin, new jeans, illit, le sserafim, or anyone else involved. everyone looks bad, and it makes audiences not want to engage with anybody mentioned. as for kpop scandals being made public to cover up government scandals? also unlikely. kpop fans don't pay attention to the korean government like that, and those living in korea don't care about kpop as much as foreigners do; and even if they do people need to logically think: when celebrities in your home country get into controversies does that stop you from caring about what your government is doing? likely no, so that belief is also unfounded imo.

last thing i'll say is that pluto in aquarius is supposed to incintivize the collective to want less artists/celebrities who are far removed from them. people will want to listen to music that mimics their own experience and will want artists who are more humble and home grown over record-label made. even the kpop industry is finding this out with trying to champion groups and members that are self-producing as opposed to how it was in earlier generations. authenticity is key with pluto in aquarius.

#ask #anonnies #talks

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bloodymiso · 7 months ago

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★ matchup exchange

— with @imjustabeanie

a/n: sorry this took a little long:3 hope you enjoy, i made sure to match the length with the average length of the exchange matchups you write!

i ship you with.. alhaitham :3

ygs would be a literal POWER couple. like i literally do not care what you say “b-but he’s too distant!!” shhhh😾😾

youre one of the few people he actually enjoys spending time with. library dates, museum dates, picnic dates you name it. im thinking ygs met in your early akademiya days. not canon but i have a feeling he was a little mischievous when he was younger, sneaking in and out of the library at 3am, climbing up large trees for peace and silence to look out onto the forest. he acts like he “doesn’t understand” acts of romance but bfr this man would set up the most sick ass dates ever.

hes not the type to make hand made gifts but this man will 10/10 write you letters, written in pretty cursive, always a small heart at the end of your name.(he “thinks its cheesy” yet continues to put it) *cough* sometimes with some *cough* items for *cough cough* experiments *cough*

more of a research guy than an experiment dude but ygs would work on projects together. he’ll do most of the research parts, you’ll do most of the..hands-on activities. about your childhood dream, i dont expect alhaitham to be..accepting of it. but—i quote, “from a research point of view, that would be..interesting.” procrastinating? that man will shove you out of that.

a. hey, love you have a project due tomorrow. r. how the fuck did you know that?

SPARRING oh my god ygs would spar together you cant change my mind. idk what kind of weapon you’d wield but if you wouldnt wield one then hand-to-hand combat works too.

im just gonna admit it, both of you would be kind of slow when it came to opening up. this is cheesy but ygs would have met through a school project idc what you say. you always spotted him in the library, was he hot? fuck yeah. would you admit that? no. im thinking it took you guys a long time to even get on a first-name basis.

alhaitham understands being misunderstood, he gets it. he masks his feelings, pushes others away even. this man is touch starved like seriously. he acts all “mr stoic” but this man could sob his ass of with you. even if you cant open up back, he’ll open up to you. i can imagine your relationship lasting a pretty long time(maybe up until,, yk). sure you guys would argue here and there but never to the point that pride would stop ygs from apologizing to eachother. he always knows when he’s in the wrong.

i always see those fanfics w chars reading to their s/o but like bfr who the hell likes being read to. like?? its so boring just let me read it on my own. rather than that i can imagine you two on the couch, as you read your silly/pos books and he reads something on like idk trees?? he’d probably ask you to teach him one of the languages you know:3

ygs probably wouldnt have announced your relationship. the first time alhaitham ever really said “yeah this is my lover” to someone else except you was when kaveh dropped the pile of books in his hands seeing a girl on alhaitham’s bed(he screamed like a seagull).

k. ALHAITHAM!!!the—there’s a girl on your bed! a. yeah that’s my girlfriend kaveh pauses k. wait—girl friend with a space or no space? a. no space

after that kaveh blabbed to like half of sumeru that “alhaitham has a golly gosh girlfriend!!!!”

other possible matches. albedo, tighnari, dottore & baizhu

(><) wanna support? reblog with tags pookies!!

#matchups #matchup exchange #match up #genshin impact #genshin #genshin impact matchup #genshin matchup #genshin impact matchups #⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ aki matches?!

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nexfarious · 1 year ago

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hi! i finished binging dq recently and i wanted to share some of my thoughts bc the brainrot it has given me is literally insane like. You dont understand. i didnt want to put this probably gigantic block of text in the ao3 comments so i figured id send it here so you can decide if you want it posted or not!

back to the topic i need to put thief in a blender (said with as much affection as possible btw). theyre soo painfully realistic and have a very unique perspective on the killing game which isnt rlly explored in fanfics so im eating it up! their talent is so cool and i cant wait to see them use it more later on. i also love how despite their paranoia and distrust they are still. Kind. Like they still reached out to ryouma and it literally saved his life!!!!! btw i think not killing him off in ch2 was a really good writing choice bc i think him dying after That scene with thief would just destroy them entirely -but on the topic of ryouma! im very glad you decided to give more spotlight to characters that werent given much of it in canon (or fanon ngl). him and tsumugi are characters that im rlly interested in but the game straight up gave them next to nothing, which i guess is very usual for danganronpa but yknow. Its still disappointing

thief and saiharas relationship makes me want to use both of them as a chew toy bc theyre so. So!!!!! im literally obsessed w them. we are still pretty early in the killing game but so many of their moments are already rotating in my mind At All Times. from the detective/criminal dynamic, to how much they care abt each other (thief obviously having a soft spot for shu despite not trusting people is soooo cute i need them gone). though that one scene in ch19 (i think?) where its said that their situation wld be considered romantic if it thief didnt have a knife at his throat is Life Changing and ive been thinking abt it so much -the contrast is just so good and the scene itself is so sad. also "Maybe this really was truly Shuichi, another side reflected to all of you, gleaming in the light like shards of a prism. Maybe you couldn’t see all of the sides right now, in this moment, but what you could see was so wonderful, spots danced in the back of your eyes." is such a beautifully written paragraph but the fact that thief thought this in the middle of a trial is so hilarious to me but i still support them. sometimes you really need to admire your Friend in a life or death situation to be able to push through. I get it

ok enough of those two. i love how you take the time to explore thief's relationships w other people as well. the break up scene between them and tsumugi had me blankly staring at my screen for good 30 seconds i think. the brief thief/ouma collab was great as well. i already mentioned ryouma but he is so dear to me head in hands.......cant wait for ch3 to physically beat the shit out of me

i have more thoughts but i also think this is too long already so ill stop it here. anyways i love your writing so much and im looking forward to more of dq! take care of yourself and have a nice day/night!

hi umm . this ask destroyed me emotionally, threw me out the window and then stole my lunch money /pos

this is genuinely so so lovely to read, i can’t believe you would take the time out of your day to come and tell me what you think of my fic,,, that’s so sweet <3

thief is my little freak whom i need to microwave at the highest temperatures. i think a lot of people should be more selfish in the killing game tbh, there’s a lot of characters who are ready to throw away everything for each other, i mean even a lot of the killers have selfless motives (kirumi, kaede) which is totally fine but!!! where my selfish bitches at where are the guys who just want to survive. despite all their paranoia though, they are a good person at heart which is something i’ve always found compelling in writing them.

WHY DIDN’T RYOMA LIVE IN CANON!!! you’re telling me a major theme of the game is overcoming yourself and pushing through despite hopelessness and then you just . kill off the other guy who’s canonically suicidal? it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth tbh. “oh you have nothing left to live for? die” i love ryoma i love mugi (obviously) and they deserve better than what the game gave them

they haven’t had much time for each other because we’re not even halfway through the game but UGH thiefhara means so much to me . thief wants to keep everyone at arm’s length but is actually way too soft to go through with it because there’s a detective with pretty eyes (which is so real btw) . i cant tell you anything about the plot but let it be known that chapter three is gonna have quite a few important moments in their relationship!!!

tbh the knife scene was something i just came up with as i was writing and thought “yeah okay that would be funny” and now people seem to love it,,, good thing i love it too

thief’s friends are so incredibly important to me btw . tsumugi who just wanted to be their friend but was rejected and has turned to angie and tenko, ryoma who still doesn’t have a reason to keep going but wants to try because there is someone who cares enough to reach out, kokichi (derogatory/with love), kaede who betrayed them in thief’s mind and still haunts them - someone who broke their trust after they went out on a line for someone, kaito whom i need thief to spend more time with because honestly he deserves more scenes

i hope chapter three slam dunks you into another dimension anon (said with so much sincerity and love), we got major canon divergence incoming ^-^

ANYWAY !!! don’t ever apologise for sending me your thoughts it’s actively encouraged and motivates me to write!! if you ever have anything more to say you are more than welcome to leave a comment or another ask i promise it makes me giggle and do a little spin in my chair of evil . hope you’re doing well too anon

#💌;#dq posting

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nyaifyz · 2 years ago

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"also feel free to provide me more ideas as I am running away from my writers block"

Your word is my command /pos

Some of my ideas didn't make it so I'll double them here if you don't mind, sorry if some of them can be uncomfortable for you, but at least I should try.

Jessica relates suggestions: (Totally not worshipping her AU version)

- What if drones closely related to Noah are going to find out about how Jessica actually treats him

- Same as above, but with stalking and Lizzy. Can't wait to see interaction between Doll and Jessica, maybe arguing about Lizzy or even fighting.. Omg I want to see Jessica with cool weapon now, help

- Showing interaction between Veronica and Jessica? Maybe like bullying Noah together /j..unless?

- We need some R stuff. I do actually think that Jessica and Veronica will get along with R if R is willing to stop with murdering or at least for some reason get in conversation with those two

Other

- T is so cute. Give me T doodles or I will come for your kneecaps. /j

- When I was writing I accidentally thought about every character with different types or weapons starting from guns, knives and ending with basic metal pipes

- Tessa, please?? If Tessa hasn't got a rainbow sticker somewhere in your AU I'm going to give it to her personally. I'm not joking. >;]

- Uzi meeting disassembly drones, maybe even accidentally finding out about Lizzy's and Doll's interaction. Why not?

-----

Woah that's a lot of text, isn't it? If some of the stuff happened already I'll be greatful if you will tell me because I have a feeling like I missed something. I will give ya more suggestions If you're out of the ideas again. Stuff above related to the pink swap AU btw.

Thanks for reading,

"Silly Anon" - [☣︎]

shakes around you and your list (also dont worry it's pretty hard to make me uncomfortable unless you use 18+ topics)

btw i do plan to reply to your older ask of suggestions but i plan to make drawings for it!!

⚠️Warning for those who are reading the actual au story and not wanting spoilers to future things! But I will still keep some things vague as I like making surprises >:3

Uzi will find out about Jessica's cruel behavior! I honestly can't wait to write it out when it happens

Jessica and R would definitely get along, but who knows if they'll meet :3c

Veronica and Jessica will get to interact a lot! Mainly when Noah or Uzi is present

Also there will be lots of stalking and discovery to come, each drone seems to have a secret they won't share 🤔🤫

Also Jessica will earn weapon rights >:D shes gonna be a badazz

Tessa coming soon >:3 she will still have her sticker! she honestly wont look different, but im hoping ep 4 comes soon so I know how to properly write about her!

Uzi will get to meet Doll, sooner or later, and neither Uzi & lizzy will be happy about it

hopefully that answers all :D

T doodles coming soon but I feel like redesigning him again CUZ HE'S SO HARD TO DRAW SOMEHOW Noah too i cant get his hair right

Also speaking of T, he will get a lot of focus in the au's ep 3 :3

I plan to release a chapter every week, but still posting random doodles and notes

the chapter numbers wont line up with the episode count, but will follow a similar timeline of events!

#hi silly anon #pink swap md au #murder drones #i love writing its so fun when people interact with it #yippee !!

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kyaruun · 2 years ago

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RAAAWR HUG! HUG! qiapyon loves being hugged :3 and squished (is a slime so squish!) hehe you are so nice and soft :>> not at all intimidating

YOU FELT LIKE A BIG BLOG just so very top tier writing. great graphic. whole package deal. there's only two possibilities that happen to follower count when you go ia:

it goes up, because people are finding you

it goes down, because people are not finding you and your followers think you are dead

THE RETURN OF NYA im so excited rawrrrrr tag me in everything

afadsfhsd me big blog... i guess i'm a big blog. i dont know why 1.1k people are still here for my shitposts

ajdslfsdf its only a few,,, a lot of my blogs are ia..... unfortunately.... and i mostly have focused on nazukisser though i literally cant stop writing for enstars its in my soul... i always strive for weekly for every fandom but darn thats really hard with the amount of shit i have going on

WAAAAAAAA i hope YOUR works get the true recognition it deserves (one day you'll write a leo fic that will become known as that leo fic (in a pos sense))

professional.... ate lis told me that i looked professional on my blogs,,, i just try. lots of trial and error and i always try to look fresh. have gone through so many phases its insane. one time i tried replicating an actual site design on tumblr while combining it w my style and it was so hard. stares at my (long gone) tori fs2 theme

RIGHT like the readers were nice, all of the people were so nice... now its too big like who is everyone... but also its kinda dead too like damn... 2023 is not anybody's year... i wish we could return to all being silly....

help me omg big blog. i mean being a writing blog the writing might as well get a pass but the graphics suck and i'm the first one to acknowledge that. i simply don't know what to do with them >< the one and only graphic i'm still head over heels for and is the reason i still haven't remade my theme is the cute cat soren did for me a looong time ago and is my current banner. it's. so. round. so cute. silly but sosososo adorable

i mean my followers have probably accepted i'm a sporadic writer and i don't really have a schedule. it hurts when you try to put out your stuff but it doesn't get attention but aaa this is the internet. there's no point in overthinking that. my one and only concern is that anons that rq something i answer a few months later manage to read their rq :(

JESUS CHRIST QIAN YOU HAVE 1.1K FOLLOWERS?!?!? big big biggest writer indeed. i just checked mine and it's 744 followers which is an insane number for someone who posts so little!! what you said about the leo fic... i can only hope. i personally think i suck at writing leo a lot. and rei. and natsume. my izumi is pretty much a mess too. see? if i love them i can't write them right. but uuuu i'd love to write a series. i've never tried that. i also considered something like a social media au bc that's usually really cute too. i don't think any of my works will ever reach that level of importance buuuuut. i'd love that

i've been working a bit on some sort of new theme for my super due revamp but i hate editing sooo much. whatever you say your themes always look super nice and cohesive <3 they're really nice to look at ;;

the fandom being big and dead (from a writing pov) is just as you said ;; i occasionally go into the tags to look for cute fanart but i don't see any writing and it's very sad. sorry to whoever might be offended by this but x readers actually carried the fandom before engstars. but we all either grew frustrated with the lack of interaction or found new interests

i simply miss that sense of community TT the nuri era... nuri feeding the entire fandom one post a day. bee coming up with the absolute prettiest things (like hello THEIR PROMPTS. i still haven't recovered from those). swanee dropping these insanely talented bombs and leaving us knocking on their askbox like "pls comeback when". soren's blog (which i actually visit from time to time bc there's a handful of fics that carry half of my mental sanity rn). runa ;;;;

see? i miss a lot of people ꒰⁎′̥̥̥ ⌑ ‵̥̥̥ ꒱ on those are only the ones that came first into mind because there are even more moots i miss... that comfy feeling of being able to jump into everyone's askbox and be silly... nostalgia hitting hard ;;; makes me think i should try to join a server(s) to try and interact with people again, even if it's just some talking from time to time

#phew that was a bit of typing #as usual i can't shut up

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w2beastars · 3 years ago

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Waezi2′s thoughts on “Beast Complex” chapter 20

Well... I don’t think that this is officially “chapter” 20, but that’s what we are calling it. Paru gave us ONE more nice little tale about animals who may or may not eat each other, this time the story is called “The Black Panther and the Sea Otter.”

Hehe... Kinda sounds like a superhero team up :P

Anyway...

Gil the Panther and Po the Otter are co-workers at a company of some sort. They are on casually friendly terms and takes the train to work together.

And you probably noticed that Po the Sea Otter is almost as tall as Gil who is a panther which at first seems pretty unlikely. But keep in mind that carnivores in Beastars has become smaller since the stone age since they stopped eating meat as their primary food and only get protein from eggs, milk and occasionally bugs. Sea carnivores like otters eat meat since sea animals have a different view on consumption of other animals.

Speaking of which, Gil has a problem... he wants to eat Po’s hand so badly.

Yep. Here we go again:/

Gil catches himself staring at Po’s white fluffy hand when they take the train together, and it makes him feel like scum. And it doesn’t help that his hand is white like snow, one of the traits that makes an animal more appealing to the eye in this crazy world, so it is hard not to look at.

Po, who is an animal of the sea, notices that Gil looks somewhat hungry and being the extremely frank animal he is since he is from the sea makes him ask if he wants some “food.”

Yep, Po just pulls out a pack of sardine crackers from his bag in the train. Train as in PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION! Po was raised in the sea, so he is not as thoughtful when it comes to social norms on land, like not eating other animals. Sure, he is allowed to eat fish since their are no laws about that in the sea and he can eat it as long as he actually purchased it, but it is frowned upon by the rest of land society.

Gil has often noticed how Po unashamed eats fish at the office cafeteria while the others glare at him as if he is some sort of monster. He would probably have been fired long ago if it wasn’t because of his job as translator. Him speaking both land and sea language fluently makes him to valuable. But Gil doesn’t judge him, possibly because he secretly want to eat his hand. The fact that Po has such a nonchalant view on eating and being eaten probably means he would forgive Gil, making Gil feel even worse.

But knowing the world of Beast Complex as well as I do makes me think that Gil is too hard on himself. He mentions being from the countryside, far from the big city he now lives and works in, so he is probably stressed. And being stressed means that carnivores have an even bigger urge to want to eat other animals. So being stuffed inside a train so close to a “delicious” looking animal with eye-catching white fur is hell for a stressed-out country boy.

But one day, something happens that should NOT happen.

The train stopes, making Gil bump into Po... and he accidentally licks Po’s white hand.

Dogshit on a sandwich, that is NOT what he needs right now!!!

When Po gets off the train, Gil follows him in order to apologize in private since that was all sorts of wrong.

... And then Po tells him that its totally cool if he wants to eat him. And he does so while his face looks like a plush toy as usual.

DUDE! DA FUCK!?

I get that he means well and is telling him that there would be no hard feelings as he thinks predator animals should be allowed to eat what they grave for. But Gil is shocked by this and is speechless. He cant even sleep at night, thinking of what Po said to him.

We learn that Gil has more reason to be stressed than we assumed as he is probably not as qualified as he could be for the office job as he was mainly hired for his fur color. This is normal in the Beastverse where "pretty privilege” is very much a thing. That can bite you in the ass if your boss a douchebag who bullies you by reminding you that you only have your job because you are a hot piece of ass. And Gil is reminded that he should be more like Po who is from far away as well but is pulling more than his weight.

When Gil is on his way home, he is depressed and stressed more than usual, and consider taking a trip to the Back-Alley Marked to get some meat. He doesn’t feel guilty about that as such, which is not so weird as it is expected that to be a functioning adult in this world that you have to eat meat now and than to keep yourself in check... even though all it does is making you dependable on meat to keep your urge in check and that could actually make you more likely to one day eat someone out of frustration.

Po is fortunately a very nice guy who looks out for his colleagues and asks Gil if he is okay... and if licking his hand might help him feel better GOD DAMMIT, PO!

The train is extra crowded, and this is where the country panther and sea otter bond over the one thing they have in common: Feeling isolated while being surrounded by other people. None of them feel comfortable about the big city trains.

Po explains that “lonely” is not a concept in the sea as such. Sure, they know what it is, but they have never truly understood the concept. But living and working on land has made Po understand loneliness very VERY well. He knows that everyone at the office sees him as some sort of bloodthirsty monster since he eats fish, and that he only gets to keep his job because he is too hard to replace. That makes him feel isolated.

And then we get to see that there is possibly more than one sort of tension between these two besides Gil wanting to taste Po’s hand.

Po out of nowhere grabs Gil’s hand. He tells him that sea otters hold hands with their mates when they are tired so they don’t accidentally drift away from each other.

What´s interesting is that Gil is at first surprised. But he is not embarrassed by holding hands with Po in public or try to let go of Po’s hand. It seems like it does have a calming effect on him.

But then the train stops and all the animals in it push to try and get out or get out of the way for those who wish to leave.

Gil tightens his grip on Po’s hand so they don’t get separated. He is surprised by how important it is for him to hold hands with him. But he also realizes that nothing seems as important to hold on to this hand, to be sure that the otter is safe in a world full of animals that might want to eat this delicious white-furred otter.

... And then they get kicked out of the train XD

I mean, I get it. Its two big carnivores who yells and blocks the other passengers, I would want them off the train :P

Po is touched by Gil’s kindness and the two of them go for a drink... while they keep holding hands.

They are two extremely different animals far from home, but they at least have each other :)

#beast complex #beastars #po #po the sea otter #gil #gil the panther

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 4 years ago

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How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

#sia #music #music 2021 #music movie #autism #tw ableism #tw meltdown #tw blackface #anti sia #lol sia

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etherealskeletons · 3 years ago

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i rlly hate peter that man jus picks every fucking battle and makes work miserable by being such an asshole and wanting everything done FAST instead of safe and at a normal speed he will make things thatre not a big deal a huge deal and will be such a dick about everything and refuses to listen to logic its always his way or the highway and the highway is him angrily growling and leaving hes such a fuckin DOUCHE and has so much abusive tendencies it makes me go insane i feel like im living with my mother being around this man-

hes such a dick all the time i dont understand WHY he takes his shit out on us and he brings up how we dont pay rent even tho they say we dont have to and we pay in other ways?? like jfc we help them out with food all the time with EBT and we work around the house and help them with literally anything they ask - we spent a good chunk of summer splitting and stacking wood all fuckin day and we bought them these stupid fuckin expensive ass tools for their shitty fixer upper house that hes been building for 30 years and its still not done??? how do u have a house for 30 years and brag about being a master builder and whatever and not be anywhere near done with it,, he brags so fucking much too like ohhh im such an amazing cook and baker but everything he makes is kinda meh and its usually p unseasoned and i dont rlly care for any of it! how do u fuck up muffins and mac n cheese those are fuckin EASY!!!!! urs are dense and dry/crumbly with no taste and the mac n cheese is so fucking DRY how do u make mac n cheese fresh taste like its been in the fridge for a week and is only slightly hot what the FUCK??? HOW???? WHAT DID U DO TO THIS,,,

and my cousin is so fuckin stupid for many reasons shes always been kinda stupid and this compulsive liar but also a hardcore christian/republican and shes even more stupid for marrying him after he married/dated in our family like two or three times and for agreeing with everything he says and defends his shitty actions and behavior and says shit like ohh god led him to her and that hes the best thing like GIRL hes NOT??? HES AN ASSHOLE OLD ASS ABUSIVE MAN AND HIS KIDS ARE ASSHOLES TO U TOO LIKE HUH???? ur biggest dream was having a baby but u cant even have one with the one asshole u married bc he got the snip and refuses to get it checked up and doesnt think reversing it is worth it but they also talk all the time about how theyre gonna have lots and lots of babies as soon as he retires SOMEHOW THEYRE GONNA HAVE BABIES,,??

and she always picks every battle too like dude relax its not that big of a fuckin deal?? like the diffuser jfc u mention it and theyre instantly like UHM AKCTUALLY ITS GOOD FOR UR HEALTH AND IT CLEANS THE AIR AND ITS ALL IN UR HEA D UR NOT ALLERGIC TO IT even tho we both have asthma and it litereally makes my dads face beet red and full of hives lmao bUT I GUESS OIL IN WATER CURES EVERYTHIN AND WERE FAKING IT OR SMTH,,, and they both start bitchin and arguing with us like were not even arguing with u tf is this attitude comin from?? just stating oh its turned on makes peter go SHES JUS TURNING THE LIGHT ON SHES NOT TURNING THE DIFUSER ON JUS AN FYI U CAN READ FOR LATER like dude stop being such a passive aggressive pos wife if u bother to look up from ur tablet u can clearly see its going off and my cousins like IM NOT TURNING IT ON ITS JUS TURNING ON WHEN I PRESS THE LIGHT BUTTON AND I NEVER HAVE IT ON FOR LONG AND ITS GOOD FOR THE AIR AND EVERYONE i dont think its good for their cat either like ive been readin about it and so many articles say its toxic and my dad shows this to my cousin and she jus like WELL THE ONES I GET ARENT TOXIC TO CATS SHES FINE UR BEING EMOTIONAL AND NOT MAKING ANY SENSE like??? maam u have clove, lemongrass, and eucalyptus oil and all of those arent safe for cats - google searches can show u most of ur oils are toxic for ur kitty!!

theyre not even really good cat owners like the cat has NEVER been played with until i moved in and they had the cat for 5 years like HUH???? U NEVER PLAYED WITH LIL MEOW MEOW??? NOT EVEN ONCE??? WHY??? jus bc i didnt think of it like WHAT??? their cat snores too and while its cute and silly its making me nervous that shes having problems breathing bc of the oils she puts in the air for literally hours [even tho they lie and say its only for one hour but its such bs,,] and they dont always clean the cat box they leave it for a week or whatever until the cat complains like hg?? why not clean it everyday dude, itd makes the basement smell nicer,, ALSO the cat had like a broken tooth or smth awhile back like around christmas and they went to the vet but were pissed at the bill and were like WERE NOT PAYING THAT ITS TOO MUCH!!! WERE NOT DOIN IT!!! LIKE HUH??? WHAT??? I KNOW IT SUCKS TO SHELL OUT MONEY FOR A LIL TOOTH BUT U GOTTA DO IT IF U LOVE AND CARE FOR UR CAT YOUD DO IT??? they never did it either they jus assumed it fell out and that the cats fine, never went back to the vet for a checkup or nothin,,, man,,,,

shes also a stay at home wife but its obvious shes depressed or SOMETHING bc she doesnt cook or clean much they normally eat microwaved food and i often vacuum the floors/carpets bc they get so NASTEY,,, she jus,,, doesnt do much,,, i dont get it i dont know what happened to her but after she got married she turned into this blob of a 50s housewife but not rlly a housewife bc she only sometimes cooks and cleans and h???

theyre both like ahaha welllll~ its bc im such a type a personality💕 like yea a for asshole, ur both such assholes its no wonder why your sisters dont like you and treat u and ur husband like shit and why your kids treat you both like shit jfc

theyre both so fuckin delusional and idiotic too they bitch about how they hate big corporations and how they NEVER shop at walmart or lowes bc they prefer mom and pop shops and peter will be like “I DONT GO TO THRIFT STORES BC THEYRE ICKY AND DISGUSTING,, I ONLY GO TO ANTIQUIE SHOPS BC THEYRE BETTER IN EVERY WAY” but then they only shop at walmart and hannaford and dollartree literally all the time and have never set foot in ANY of the lil mom and pop shops near their house, he works at a big corporation and acts like he doesnt for some reason??? like its a lil pop shop like dude??? no??? its not??? they deepthroat the boot of these corporations and think theyre better than everyone bc they say they dont shop there like????? what,,,?? and they think tr*mp is gonna make this country great again and if hes not reelected the rapture WILL ABSOLUTELY happen [????????? WHICH PASTOR SAID THIS BTW LIKE HELLO???? I JUS WANNA TALK,, WHO SAID THIS,,, WHOS MAKING MY RELATIVES MORE STUPIDER,,,]

IDK like im thankful theyre hosting us but i wish they werent such childish dicks and i wish i had a normal family that wasnt,,, Like This ://

#💀.txt #diary #i wish the rapture would happen so ppl like this can jus.. go #but idk if theyd even be raptured bc theyre jus so.... ykno...

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thelesbianlegacy-swtor · 4 years ago

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OC list of the MMO LESBIAN

SarapAlexandria Duvel <3 Vette

Sith Warrior

Human, brown short hair, 1,78, D cups, she likes dressin on armor that is bulkier than a tank or in a tank top and leggings. Dark eyes and light skin

Lesbian. LOVES toys in bed

Headcannons

Has a personal Dreagnough that she uses as a colliseum. She has taken into training new sith in combat. More than her apprentices they are more of gladiators for her to fight.

Kinda crazy. Likes to bounce around and do Tons of damage. She is feroucios about defending the Empire and believes that the republic is doomed. Has archived the impossible more than a dozen times so no plan is to crazy or stupid for her. Gratefully, her wife knows what is too stupid or too crazy and so she fixes those plans so her big sith girl can go fight monsters and other people.

Married Vette. Only she can make her laught so much that she forgets she is angry. The tiny girl is so adorable and so cute and jsut so horny for Alexandria that the two of them spend 3 months on a horny induced honeymoon. Even now after the war with zakuul they keep having more honeymoons whenever they get the chance.

She wasnt all that hurt by Quinns betratal. Like, hey man fatman told you to kill me so no biggie- But from now on you are my bitch and i will bully you over all this k?

Jaesa kinda bugs her. She is Dark side but not SO crazy but still she is kinda...tiny. Alexandria likes to challenge her to crazy stuff and she always gets on trouble with her, but Jaesa is so young and sometimes weak that

Pierce is her best freind. A total madman when it comes to battle, a blootthirsty man that will not doubt in choosing violence but also super trusthworthy and she knows he will stop her from getting killed in stupid ways

For her Broonmark is her fluffy monster! Just point release and watch blood by spilled. She makes him shower after every bottle and use proucts on his hair cause she likes how soft he gets.

She remains a free agent causing chaos everywhere. She is not quick to kill always tho. If she got a good fight with someone she will usually let them live so they can fight again.

She is the most sexually proactive girl around. She will get every pair of cute or hot tiddies on a bed along side Vette. She is a bit dom and doesnt like playing sub, but she will play passive.

Master of Shien and Juyo, she likes to go crazy with a lightsaber and destroying the place but doesnt really like dual wielding

Seraphine <3 Temple

Sith Agent. New code name: Specter

Cyborg, mostly internal components on her eye, brain and bones. 1,96M, Long hair, usually red but she likes dying it. C cups, She wishses to get more tits but she has to be stealthy. She likes using loose clothes with lots of cleavege. She isnt a fan of bras.

Lesbian Switch. Likes bondage and public stuff. She can and will play any part on roleplay. From the scared virgin to the cruel dominatrix

Headcannons

A master of hidding on plain sight. Seraphine is the kind of woman who blends everywhere. She likes attention from the spotlight just to let it go 5 minutes later. She has the talent of being so likeable that any girl that gets close to her on bed, never gets mad with her for leaving or just going for another girl. She also has a perfect memory and will remember how you like to be touch, how much you moan or what kind of cnadies you like when you are on your days. She is as soft as she is Ruthless. She has never regret killing anyone for more than an hour. Unless she kils someone she has slept with she will pull the triger no matter what. This includes civilians, wounded and allies. After Chapter 3 she left the identity of Cypher 9 and became a shadow agent for the Empire. Her new code name: Specter.

After the War with Zakuul she was left on charge ofthe Alliance by Darth Nox. Both the Ex Imperial Wrath and the Supreme Huntress stayed behind with her.

She doesnt like Kaliyo. No. She is no fun. She likes to hurt and doesnt look after girls. She was particulary angry at her at the start because she would try to get on the way of her time with other girls. So Seraphine got Kaliyo a cute chasity belt and allowed her to focus on chaos outside the bedroom. That way they both can get what they want. Chaos and attention.

Vector is her special little guy. Confident. Trusthworthy. But really fun to mess up with. Seraphine tells him to do weird stuff just to get a laught at weird situation. She also helps him send money for Killik Joiners. She likes that he is simple

Lokin is a weird guy for Seraphine.He could do a lot of stuff with the ragkghoul virus but she likes that he is quiet and calm. She likes trying tea with him

Ensign Temple is the only girl that has kept Seraphine attention span for more than 1 night. She likes her a lot because she cant read her as well as other people and so she makes her angry just to learn more about her. She forgot how it felt to get to know someone through time and so she likes to keep her around. She also likes Temple is super organized and loyal

Seraphine can never choose fast between either a big rifle or a tiny blade under her dress. She likes how chaos erupts after a person gets shots down but she also likes to be close when her target takes their last breath

FUCK SCORPIO UwU

Arthemys Delos <3 Mako

Huntress

Built like a tank, She likes lifting Mako to train her big guns. She is a cyborg with lots of internal components and a cybernetic leg (left) She isnt the tallest girl, she is 169 (nice) but she has the biggest tiddies. She carries two E cups that she loves to put on Mako’s face. She has black short hair

Lesbian

Total top but wont say no to being topped every know and then

Headcannons

Money,gambling, explosions and pretty girls, Arthemis cares for little more than that. As long as she can fire guns, gamble money and have a bed with a pretty girl on it she will do an job. She loves hunting animals and will almost never reject a bounty. What she wont do, is just say yes to any quest or mission. She can get money as easy as she can waste it and so throwin credits at her doesnt work. Only if the work isnt something she dislikes or too easy or boring she will do it. She has a few internal implants after playing with grenades when she was young.

Mako is hers. Hers alone. She wont let her go beyon her sight and will actually get restless for being away from her too long. Arthemis is possesive which Mako kinda likes.

The two of them likes being on top of eachother as much as possible but a extra pair of hands or tiddies make them both pretty happy. Most of the time, is actually Mako who gets the girl.

Gault is jsut too fun not to keep around. Arthemis wouldnt call him his best friend becuase she suspects the guys can be bought but he is fun either way. She like getting a lot of money with him and then wasting it all or just not taking the pay,just to mess up with him.

Torian is fun. Sometimes. He is a mandalorian and she likes fighting strong people. But Torian is a bit more serious that she would like. She doesnt like people dying because then she cant fight them again and so she doesnt like some decisions of the mandalorian. But at the end of the day the trust that the two share is one of a brotherhood.

Blizz. God Damm Blizz. When Arthemis got Mako on her bed and then into her family she thought she coulnt be happier. She was wrong. The little jawa makes everything better. As chaotic as her and even weirder than Gault, Arthemis just cant stop keeping the jawa around

YOU READ MY COMMENT ABOUT SCORPIO? WELL THAT X2

Selendis likes using two big guns to shot down her enemies. She doesnt really enjoy going around in huge armor so she keeps herself kinda light. But her armor is still a bit big. Why you ask? Cause she loves the feeling of having not only a flamethrower but also grenades, missiles, hooks and electric weapons all stuffed in her body.

Selendis <3 Lana and Senya

Sith Inquisitor

Sith girl with piercing orange eus and long amazing black hair. She is 182 and as sith that focus on range combat, she took the luxury of enhancing her breasts to a nice DD cups. She doesnt like jewelry but she has a few tattoos.

Sorcerer

Lesbian. The one to dom them all.

No amount of girls is too much when it comes to Selendys

A proud, stylish and master manipulator Selendis believes that the empire can be improved but even in its current state is better than the republic. She is patient and ruthless and wont stop until the galaxy is back on order. She left the alliance and took overthe sith empire after letting Acina step down. Seriously, no killing her just “Try and stop me from getting the throne”

Khem Val is her personal monster. A warrior of another time which she swears wont ever be forgotten. She has taken into redacting whatever information the dashade gives her. She has task him ith protecting everyone she deems worthy of her interest

Andronikos is a fun and interesting man. He is a pirate with experience and a code. Hard things to find. Selendis enjoys him being slipery and smartass. She also enjoys the acces to the underworld the man provides. Over all she likes that the betrayed man has once more put his trust on someone. She wont abuse it but she prides herself of it

Ashara. The little puppy. She has learn about the dark side and the sith and yet she keeps herself on a reaching point from the jedi order. Still she has a point of view that is useful and welcome. She has teached her everything useful that she could learnt.

Talos. Oh Talos. A men of science and interest. Selendis has swear to protect the smart man just so he can see for once history being made instead of being discovered. Most of the time she has free, she will spent researching stuff with Talos and discussing history

Xalek. Selendis attack dog. A simple desire of the young Kaleesh allowed Selendis to craft a magnificent Student. Xalek belived that she was a god. And so Selendis tasked Xalek to forget about being a kaleesh god, and instead become a sith god. Strength, power, and victory.

Lana Beniko. From the first time Selendis met Lana she was intrigue. A sith that kept her rage and hate deep withing her, so she could serve the empire better. Selendis wasted no time in seducing the sith and keeping her under her control. But soon Selendis lost control and ended up loving her. Lana became her source of power. She would burn the galaxy for her. She also fancid her cute ass and the way she lost control.

Senya Tirall. Selendis doesnt do well with betrayal. And so after defeating Arcann, she was left quite angry when Senya saved him. So, after the war with Zakuul, Selendis threw Senya into a prison and slowly made her crumble. Telling her that both Arcann and Vaylin were death, Offering herself as the only ally, and then leaving her alone. Selendis broke Senya and put her back together in a way that she would enjoy. Despite being more of a pet than a lover, Selendis does love her in her wn special way, and wont let her be hurt.

REPUBLIC OCS

Cassandra (Cassie) Jedi Knight <3 kIRA She tiny! She is 165, amber eyes,C cups she likes to hide on a sport bra and to fight, she has a few scars over her back and shoulder (horny origin) She specialies on Djem So but likes using two lightsbaers instead of one Lesbian Total Bottom girl. Tsundere (will be all agressive but you pet her once and she will melt on your arms)

T7-01 The crimemaster, Teseven will always be there to push Cassie towards any female individual just so Cassie can stop winning about not having a girlfriend. Each time it works, but Cassie ends up lossing the contact or getting pulled out from plannet by the council

Kira. Or like Cassie likes to call her, babe! Cassie was sweap of her feat by how chaotic her padawan was an how incredible persistent she was on taking baths together, giving eachother massages and just being close. Cassie lasted 2.6 seconds the first time she gave her a kiss and fron that day on, she is either fighting or on her girlfriend’s arms. Kira likes to tease Cassie and on nights she makes sure to give her all of her love

Doc. The best partner. Doc is always there for Cassie, wherever she is doing good or bad. Or doing ilegal or legal stuff. He knows Cassie will jump towards danger and he will be there to help her make the galaxy a better place Rusk. There are few things that Rusk hates more than the empire and one of them is how Cassie jumps on top of his back because she is to tiny to get food by herself. Even then, he will die for his little sister becuase he knows she will defeat the empire some day

Scourge. The big old sith might have forgotten what means love, pain or feelings, but he respects Cassie. He knows that despite her size the little jedi is more than capable of busting whatever walls appear on her way, even if it means tapping on the dark side.

Bella Jedi consular <3 NADIA

She is a curvy girl. D cps on a tallish girl, 178, with a dump track ass. She is thick and she is SHY about it. She likes baggy clothes so her body doesnt show too much. She feels that healing people with her skills is the best call for her but she also agrees that sometimes throwin a massive bould to minnies is good

Qyzen. Qyzen and Bella are good frends. Mostly, because Qyzen will gladly shoot anyone who calls Bella on her fat ass, and Bella will drop a boulder on anyone who calls him green skin or lizard. The two of them are the type of people who fixate on stuff and they enjoy their hobbies

Tharan. To be honest. Bella didnt think it thorugh when she got Tharan to come with. She was doing it mosly out of pity and because she needed some help. But mostly she just liked Holiday and would be more interested on keeping her rather than him.

Zenith. Oh dear Zenith. Bella enjoys Zenith attiude. There is little more than that. She isnt as extremist as he is, but she knows that he will do everything on his power to defeat the empire and protect the inocent

Iresso. Oh Ireso is fun. Bella likes to bully him in little wyas. Sometimes she will just pick something ilegal to do to get on his nerves. Thats alls. Well he is all good and good for fights but Bella likes how correct he is and that she can make him mad

Nadia: Her love. Her mistress. Her everything. Everyone has thirsted for her body, and so Bella usually isnt ready to believe most words of love and affection, but Nadia persisted for months, being almost addicted to her body. And so one day Bella let her padawan into her bedroom and cried over her love. Nadia is the type of girl who will devote her heart and soul to her love. She CANT keep her hands off Bella’s body tho, which makes it hard for her to keep clean underwear around

NEW OCS FROM THE NOT PC OCS GAME.

PRESENTING. THE ARTIST

Sarah Novadust

The lead singer and dancer of the Imperial Idol group “Royal Novas”

A tallish girl (175cm) a bit petite looking but upclose you notice she has a good pair of thighs and some nice ass. She has GOLDEN hair. Not blonde. Golden. She keeps it on a long ponytail that reaches all the way back to her ass. She is a human girl of 22 years old with Purple eyes due to some alien grandparents

She leads the Royal Nova an Idol Group originated on the Empire. The group is formed by her, 3 back up singers, 5 back up dancers, 2 guitars, piano, drums, violin, and 1 trumpet. The 15 girls are all REAL close to Sarah.. More on that later

Sarah was born on Sarapin. She worked on being an artist since she was young, but when she was around 15 she was blacklisted from most musical firms on the republic over a incident with a manager that wanted to taste her body. Sarah left to spent some times with friends back on Balmorra when the empire attacked. FOr a couple of years she layed low working on some cantinas singing to earn a living. It was there when some sith lady saw her and brought her to Kaas City. Sarah would keep singing for more and more excentic public until she had the favour of enough people that she could stay safe and solo. Then after saving up for some time, she went and convinved a few sith lords and sith officers to put some credits on for a full on idol group. She invited friends and scouted for talent all over the galaxy

As an artist, Sarah likes mixing her young excitement with imperial overconfidense. She knows that playing it safe wont work and so she makes every song and perfomance into a way to improve herself more and more. With a big group of girls to help her she has managed to perform or even Dark council members and Senators from the republic.

As a young woman, Sarah attracts a lot of people. She isnt the most strong willed person, nor she is particulary aggresive. That is excaclty the reason why each and every member of the Royal Novas is madly in love with her. Each girl looks over their leader as a little kitten to be protected. Of course, Sarah doesnt mind the attention and as long everyone plays nice, she will open her heart to the entire group. With 22 years old, a massive fallowing, more credits that she can count and a polyamourous relationship with 14 girls, Sarah's life is just the best

#swtor #swtor oc #star wars oc #starwars oc #Star Wars The Old Republic #star wars: the old republic

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zuffer-weird-girl · 5 years ago

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CAn u plz do a scenario where Chrono and Kai switch roles? One where Chrono being the boyfriend and father And chisaki wakes up, I was only a dream

What. The actual. Fuck?

He just had gotten up for the day and saw one boy and one girl with white hair passing by him with a 'good morning boss!'. He didn't remember allowing any precept to bring their brat to the base, neither did Pops.

Speaking of brats... were where his own? Most important, where the hell was his wife? He woke up that day and you weren't on his side, dreaming peacefully.

He walk a bit and soon arched his eyebrow at hearing those brats shriek in laughter before Hari just appeared out of no where and passed by him with a muttered apology, running after those two kids he saw earlier.

"What the...?" He muttered before he got a glimpse of your giggles aproaching.

"Good morning Overhaul." You nodded towards him before following Chrono.

... Overhaul? Shit. He didn't remember doing anything that got you upset.

"(Y/n)." You stopped immediately at his call before looking at him aprehensively "Why-"

"Got them." Chrono interrupted with a sigh, carrying both of the kids on his shoulders before he rolled his eyes with a smirk at you playfully clapping your hands at him.

"Chronostasis." Kai said nonchantly and pointed with his gaze at the both kids on his shoulders "Who are these?"

Chrono's smirk faded and soom got replaced with a very confused face as yours grew the same way as well.

"What do you mean boss?" He placed the kids down, the boy hugging his leg while the girl hugged yours "Those are my pests." The boy scowled up at him while Hari messed around with his white hair.

"What- Didn't you had only Haru?" He asked in almost disbelief as Hari's face grew a bit worried.

"No? I have Haru and Hiroto. Been ten years already, you know them."

"In ten years I had my own son and my daughter, and I pretty much have sure that you didn't had a son." He almost growled before yours and Hari's eyes changed looks before looking back at him.

"Kai... you don't have kids. You never liked them." Hari said almost in a manner of fact tone of voice, lefting Chisaki's blood boiling.

"I had Kaito and Kin blockhead. With (Y/n), if you lost your memory."

"What?" You squeaked as Hari urged both of the kids to go to other room.

"What do you mean 'what?'? Gree insane yourself as well?"

"Dude... (Y/n) is married with me." He said calmly before pointing at the door those kids had left "The brats are mine and hers."

His whole body seemed to have catched on fire as he brought his hand up to show... nothing? Where the fuck had his wedding ring went?"

"Impossible. (Y/n), out. I have to have a chat with Chronostasis." You nodded aprehensively before standing on your tip toes to give Kurono a kiss on the cheek.

What?! DID HE REALLY JUST SAW THAT DISGUSTING SCENE?!

"Kai, you're alright pal?"

"No, the fuck I am not." He growled before brushing his his gloved fingers through his dark brow looks "Since when you, YOU, are married with (Y/n)? Worst even, since when you had brats?"

"Ten years ago I had Hiroto then later Haru." He lifted his hands up in defence "I married her at least three years before Hiro was born."

"This is wrong. A disease, a side effect from a quirk it cant be right this shit." He felt hives crawling on his skin "I married (Y/n). I even gave up on my experiments with Eri because of my first son, Kaito Chrono. Kaito Chisaki." He growled "You, yourself is the fucking godparent because of (Y/n)'s wishes."

"Kai... that didn't happened." He said calmly but worry still evident "Sure, Pops did made up your mind about Eri and such, but you never got married neither had a relationship with anyone as far as I know of."

He scoffed and stormed out of that place, looking for the man he surely knew would explain to him what the hell was going on.

"Po-" he stopped talking and widened hsi eyes at seing the familiar girl, a bit grow up, talking with the elder happily before going silent and fearful of his presence "...Eri..?"

"Kai my boy." The man commented before getting up with a grunt "What gives me the honor?"

"Wha... what the hell is going on..." he brough his hand to rub one side side his face due to the irritation his hives brought "First I know about my own wife that now is married with Chrono, then she has brats with him and now-" he pointed at Eri who even flinched a bit "this?!"

"Woah Chisaki, calm down." The elder patted his shoulder a bit "What on earth you're talking about?"

"My wife dammit!" He pointed outsides, accidentaly slapping Pops hands away from his shoulders at his desperation and irritation "Is this some kind of fuck up joke?!"

"Chisaki. First, you dont have a wife. Second, what has gotten into you? There is a child in here." He said sternly while pushing Eri a bit to be behind his back "Since when you swear like this?"

"The moment where I know my wife is married instead with Kurono maybe?!"

"Chisaki you were never married." The elders eyes were open wide and in concern "First that plan years ago, now this?"

This is madness. Madness. He wasn't crazy, he had done all of those things, it wasn't a fucking illusion. It cant be possible!

All of those years that he spend with you, allowed his walls to fall down only for you were mere hallucinations? No... he... he didn't. It can't be-

He jolted awake with a choked gasp, feeling the disgusting shen of cold sweat on his forehead and back.

He breath in and out slowly before he flinched at the touch of fingers on his arm. Glaring subsconciously at whoever was beside him... only to ease back a bit to see those ever so sweetly and worried (E/c)'s eyes.

"Nightmare?" You whispered and he almost left out a shaky breath as his hand slowly went to your left one and brought close to his face.

The weeding ring, the one he had gave to you so many years ago... that meant he wasn't crazy...

"Kai?" You tried again, worried at not hearing no words from him and that he had been staring at your hand for at least three unstoppable minutes.

"...thank god..." he sighed before lowering his head on your shoulder, this time allowing the shaky sigh left his lips.

You were worried sick no less, but still wrapped your arms around his shaken up, muscular form.

"Was it about the past again?" You whispered after he got the strengh to lift his head up, merely shaking his head in denial "Want to talk..?"

He got up with a sigh, shaking his head again while going straight to the bathroom. Minutes later he got out with only the lower part of some other night clothing.

"Kai..." you got up, asking silently if you could touch his face... not receiving a denial, you cupped his bare cheeks and touched your forehead along with his warm one.

"The brats are still sleeping, right?" He muttered nonchantly as you nodded, confused at the relieved sigh he left out before wrapping his arms around you.

Weird night to say the less...

Bonus:

"You're not allowed to even step closer, one inch for that matter, to (Y/n)." Chrono lifted his hands up in defense as his boss growled in extreme anger.

"The fuck did blockhead even do?" Irinaka asked, confused as fuck.

"Not your business Mimic." He growled, sending daggers through his glare at Mimic.

#overhaul x reader #overhaul scenario #fanfic overhaul #overhaul #chisaki kai imagine scenario #kai chisaki x reader #chisaki kai x reader #chisaki kai #kai chisaki #bnha imagine #bnha characters #bnha villains #bnha #bnha x reader #my writing #zuffer writings

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idjitlili · 4 years ago

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Gonna need a wheel chair

Bard x reader

A request from @ifitaketwomoresteps

“I noticed you haven’t wrote for bard *shocked emoji*can you write something fluffy and sweet for him?” I cant tell if this what you wanted ,i kinda went mental when i thought of a title...

summary:renting a room from bard only to come home ,to find a bunch of dwarves there,lets just say he doesnt like the looks the dwarves were giving you.

word count:1551 a/n sorry if this isnt great a request from tumblr ,it was my greatnans funeral ,and at the wake I ended up injuring my second biggest toe on a door. po tat TOE.

Okay times were tuff in laketown,people could barely avoid to feed themselves,oh and you were worse you couldn't avoid to home yourself. You had been friends with Bard for many years,well your older brother was that how you knew him. Yeah brothers bestfriend you had developed a crush on him,but in the end he got married and had two children. You were beyond heartbroken,you bottled it all up to hide it from your brother,getting a job in laketowns only pub as a waitress.

At this point you were only a teenager ,you shoud not have fell in love with an older man,yeah. The reason you needed to work was simply you wanted your own freedom to go on adventures,and not live with your parents. Fast forward still saving ,when you hear news of Bards wife dying in childbirth ,he was a widow now. Is that what you call a guy with a dead spouse you werent sure.

In a couple of years later he comes into the pub ,starts talking to you,informs you of how he needs a babysitter for most hours in the day,due to his job. Yeah you were confused why he was telling you this,but it turns out he had spoken to your brother about it ,and he had informed Bard that you were saving to get out of the house. In which you would be happy with just a room,and this caused Bard to offer you a job as his childrens babysitter,and get payed and live with him for free.

You still on weekends worked at the pub,as those were Bards' two days off in the week. This babysitting gig meant free home away from your parents, free food ,money ,only disadvantage was being so close to the man that didnt love you back.This carried on for a couple of years,in which you might aswell be their mother ,being the only motherly figure Tilda had ever known,the other too seem to like you but didnt warm up to you as quickly. Unknowingly to you Bard grew deep feelings for you too,but thought you would never return them as he was father to three children,what could he offer you but barrels from the elven king,Thranduil.

Your parents nagged you everytime they saw you ,asking when you would court someone,as they were scared not ever seeing you in a proper relationship. Your mother would ask if you liked Bard or how was bard oh how are your legs,can you still walk.It was horrific;in honesty.

However on this particular day you had cooked dinner when you had realised there was no more bread, so you would have to run out,telling the children not answer the door to anyone but you and Bard,as he was due back any minute. Only to your luck you had brought the bread ,heading back onlyto run into Alfrid who shamelessly tried flirting with you ,in which you told him "go brush your bloody teeth maggot" in which he did not like that ,and it ended up with you being pushed in the lake ,dropping the bread on the wood before hand.

Your outer dresses and corset pulling you done, making it hard for you swim up. The cold water over taking you ,only choice you had was to cut off the corset and outer dress with the knife located in your sock.

Alfrid laughing at you from the decking ,only to gasp when you come rushing up in just your now very see through dress thing,with shorts on underneath of course. Alfrid had began to walk away when you had pulled yourself up onto the decking grabbing a hold of him ,throwing his bloody hat in the water before punching him square in the nose. Him being a coward had almost fell over ,gasping ,kinda of crying before sprinting off like sonic in embarrassment. YOu had frowned in annoyance about your now ruined new dresses,before picking up the loaf of bread ,heading home.

You had tried to rush back without drawing to much attention the the dress ,and how awful you must look right now,you didnt want these people seeing your breasts.You had swung the door open ,loaf in one arm ,you sorta looked like the terminator,when he holds the present.

This caused a whole bunch of dwarves ,Bard and the childrens eyes to be covered to look at you wide eyed-wait why were there dwarves here. Bard had looked you up and down in shock before taking a blanket from sigrid's arms ,walking to you fast paced wrapping it around you covering you up.

"what in bloody middle earth ,caused you to run around naked?" Bard had whisper shouted at you making you flinch ever so slightly. " I went to go get bread for dinner then after Alfrid." you had whispered to Bard looking down in embarrassment ,you had hoped that he wouldnt have been home and seen so much of you. It was worse that so did a bunch of dwarves that you didnt know did too. "what did he do?OH MY-I'll kill him" he had turned literal red in anger,you had gripped his arm stopping him going past the door. "he only pushed me in the water , the dresses were pulling me down, I had to cut them off. If anything he will leave me alone." you had smirked up proudly at Bard ,who looked at you confused.

"what did you do hm,y/n?" at this point he had pulled you into your room away from the eyes of the dwarves,some more pervy than others. "well first off so you aren't angry with me he was making a move on me again. So I told him to brush his teeth ,and then boom im in the water so then I had to cut my NEW dresses to avoid death,then jumped out like a bloody frog and boom punch him in the face.I swear to god he started crying and ran away." he had chuckled at your emphasising gestures at the words new ,frog and boom,well those were only hand movements but he liked your description.

"he has done this before?why have you never said,I would have sorted him for you." he spoke brushing a stray strand of wet hair from your face with his rough fingers,making you lightly redden.

"yes multiple times, i'm a waitress it happens. Plus I didn't tell you because I dont expect you to protect me,its not your problem." you spoke slightly embarrassed walking to your draws pulling out a pair of trousers and shirt out,before sitting on your bed pulling the shorts off,bard would see anything because your dress was covering,pulling the trousers on. You had shrugged the blanket off standing up,going to pull the dress off,making Bard turn away.

"Its not like you havent seen me nude before. Remember when I tripped with stew and went to change and you burst in to see if I was okay or about the time when-""yeah I get it,its just not very polite to watch a women undress and not give her privacy." he spoke quietly,still facing away as you now pulled your tunic on. In which you had turned him around ,pressing a peck of your lips to his ,before speaking "yeah ,unfortunately for me most of lake town and a bunch of dwarves have seen pretty much everything." you began to walk away to open the door but Bard turns you to face him like you had done to him.

"I really cant tell was that kiss signifying you like me back or?" he had questioned you with his big green eyes,searching for any emotion. You had smirked up nodding ,you dont know what had given you that push to kiss him but it happened. He had grinned widely ,following you . And with that you had walked out your room with the loaf still with you. Only for Tilda to running and jump into your arms once you had reached the kitchen.

"DArn the bread is really squashed now." you had thought but you were happy ,you could already hear your nosy mouth asking "do you need a wheelchair,what kind of sausage is it german or- yeah lets not continue thinking about that. Anyways you end up travelling just not how you expecting ,uhh smuag the terrible. But after that you did go travelling to different kingdoms ,well you had to due to Bard being king of dale,but never less you got to see everything you wanted and you got a family with it.

#bard #bard x #bard x reader #bard the bowman #bard imagines #bard imagine #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit #the hobbit imagines #hobbit imagines #hobbit imagine #hobbit x reader #the hobbit x you #hobbit bard

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bigbangcowgirl73 · 5 years ago

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fuck the brain

so for this update, we are going to break it up. make it a little easier...well somewhat..so are going to break over so ill play the OCD card and have sub-categories (:

With that said let’s get started <3

1. Health-- so I think as I have discussed at the beginning of this blog I explained that I have epilepsy and I hate admitting that. I am embarrassed beyond words with it. I use to be a social butterfly, and now the idea of going out to the world and being apart of other things is a little nerve-racking to me. Before July in 2019, we thought that I wasn't going to have any more seizures that it was all fixed and I was “cured” for a better lack of words, I haven't had a seizure for almost 3 years so life was looking good. Now with that said before we all get excited and we try to figure all are asking questions, my neurologist, dr. g requested an EEG in the beginning of the year because I came I told them that I have not been taking my medicine for about 6 months and have been doing just fine. the reason being for this is because I was just simply at first was forgetting then I got didn't have a certain amount so I got behind and then it just turned into me not taking them. Well, when we had the EEG I still had the abnormal brainwaves (a quick explanation on EEG’s..pretty much a helmet of little wires they hook to your head and it tells you what kind of brain waves you have). Not my best day. So I had a seizure back in July I assumed because I was depressed from what learned in April I was taking care of my body, I was sleeping well, not doing the best with my body. Then I had one about 2 weeks ago, after that, I have been anxiety attacks whenever I please, my depression is flying off the walls. So now my neurologist has decided that I need to have a service dog for these reasons. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety a couple of years back, but it was never this bad as it is now. so now me having to even think about having a service is kind of hard, because I’ve always been embarrassed with the idea of just almost anyone knowing about it. like if I didn't have to tell a friend about it then I won't. there's been soo many timeeeesss that I thought i have told a friend and then something will happen that it would come up and they wouldn't know a thing about it.

-Love: alrighty so this subtext will be fun. so y’all remember daffy? well, we’re pretty much still in that sloth relationship that I was explaining. and since we still can't think of a better word we’re going to stick with that until I say otherwise alright? good glad we agreed. so when I had my last seizure I was with him and about as close as I could get with a person while having a seizure. he was laying on top of me when it happened. yeahhhh good moment for the sloth and lady sloth right? well, I could remember after it was waking up hurling on his favorite sweater that I was wearing at the time barely getting to the sink and hurling all over that than falling on the floor and wanting to die. then I remember barely opening my eyes, daffy was standing over me he cleaned up my throw up, this is going to be so cheesy but I thought he has to be prince charming he's going to clean up this shit off of me. then he took off the throw up sweater off of me put on a different shirt and carried me to his room. next thing I know i wake up and I don't really remember the rest. I remember bits and pieces but that's about it. I just remember thinking that he may not be perfect and he might have a shitty past, him and I are overly different, but he just might the prince charming I was looking for. bad boy in skinny jeans with a sailor's mouth and can be an asshole sometimes but makes me smile no matter what and makes me feel safe and all these other things that do not fall into this subtext.

-Friendship-- when my friend cotton found out that I had a seizure he didn't really do a whole bunch of what I friend is supposed to do I believe, I mean when my friends have found out in the past they freak out are wanting to know if I'm okay did I die asking weird questions. but cotton he just didnt. and it really pissed me off! and he’s supposed to be my best friend, but he hasn't been one lately. I'm not liking it.

-School-- the school hasn't gotten scary now. my teachers are really supportive but I feel so far behind and I cant remember. and this is the shit part. my neurologist thinks the reason why I'm having such a hard time remembering is that I have PTSD so he is wanting me to go to PSYCHIATRIST..arent those for people who are really fucked up in the head or something? I would see why but I'm not excited about it. maybe I can talk may out of it. I've gone to a therapist before and it did me no good. if anything it did me worse. but now I'm so scared to anything with school because what if I fail what if something goes wrong and it stresses me out so much that I have a seizure or have such a bad anxiety attack that I have a seizure.

2. Friendship/Love- so I was going to split up these two categories but since they collide each other by a lot it would get way too confusing so this seemed easier at the end of the day.

So as you could guess this will have to do with cotton and daffy. pretty fun combination. especially since they both don't like each other. which is super fun. so with that said, cotton since the beginning has talked bad about daffy. and I would just ignore it usually, especially since he would just be talking about his past mainly and I really wouldn't care because when daffy would say anything about he would calmly say its in the past in the past for a reason. he's done that he’s not proud of, was he the best person back then probably not, would probably want to be around him..probably not, but then again knowing bigbangcowgirl lets just 2-3 years ago she would probably still go for it. but daffy just never talked about cotton even though he didn't like him, he knew that he was my best friend he wouldn't. cotton would, I ignored for the most part. there was something I would question, but then daffy would bring down somewhere along the yellow brick road and i would be just fine once again. with my past of shit guys. daffy has been so straight forward and not hidden anything from it so relaxing and he’s been so trustworthy! Cotton has been such a bad friend and it just took me yesterday to put two and two together after daffy was pointing out something towards me and then yesterday I just don't trust him anymore. I'm really pissed. I know my mom and cotton talk and i told her last night when I got done coaching to not talk to him anymore for awhile. I don't want you to talk to him. I don't trust him right now. he's my friend, but I don't like how he’s been treating me and seems to be manipulating you and putting up this front to you and dad.

-Family- those last two sentences kind of collided with this sub-category but that’s fine. so me and daffy decided that we wouldn’t meet my parents for a while cause that would just make it official and legit serious, like would be switching from sloth to penguins. if y’all don't know what that means, I can’t help you. go to google. which was fine by me. I'm a daddy’s girl some even telling my dad about nick was already a little scary. I didn't want my dad to meet another guy I've been seeing for a while until I knew it was going to be serious and would last, so he would stop meeting these pos kind of guys. Well with daffy, they’re outstandingly opposite. like its crazy different. it's kind of funny though. but what gives me the slightest bit of hope is that daffy makes me happy, he takes care of me, he wants me to be happy, for an example, he could’ve cared less if my parents didn’t like him, but since he knows that a big thing to him, it bothers him and he wants to fix it. my father thinks that he doesn’t make me happy just because the only time I have been on the phone with daffy these past couple of days when I was the house we were bickering about stuff. so yeah, if that's your first opinion I could see why, but what he doesn't know is that I've been on the phone with him multiple times, been texting him multiple times, been smiling because of him multiple times, but because I didn't want my dad to know that he existed because of our sloth-like relationship I just said it was cotton cause my dad knows that he’s in n. carolina and there's no way in hell I will be leaving texas just for some boy.

now then, I don't really think my dad will ever like any boy I am with. just for the fact of him thinking no man is good enough for my little girl fact. which is fine I understand that. no biggie. I agree. I'm adorable. but if he has respect for daffy, understands that daffy cares about me respect me, doesn't hurt me emotionally/physically like any other guy has in the past, and makes me happy. then I know that’s all that matters to him.

and another perk is that my mom loves him. she is a little concerned cause she knows that he is a bad boy and has a bad past, but she knows that she he has done what he needs to do make him improve and make him a better man. also now that I have pointed all that cotton has lied about and pulled off his mask that he’s been wearing. daffy doesn’t look bad anymore. now I say that because cotton has been trying to make daffy look bad by comparing those two together. which is one of the major things that I noticed yesterday. one of the biggest things that pissed me off the most.

sloth relationship, or penguin relationship. nobody is going to make my man look bad or talk shit about him especially if I know you and I know what you’re saying and your’ purpose behind it. not okay.

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