#i cant stop looking at them they just look so beautiful
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no thoughts head empty still only xianxia au tot
#rewatched the pv again for the nth time#i like how out of all the major hoyo patches happening atm#latern rite,hsr 2.0#i am most obsessed with tot's#smth abt it really just makes my monkey brain go brrr#i cant stop looking at them they just look so beautiful#i want the cards so bad#i might legit end up opening my wallet for tot for the FIRST time ever#just for those cards and invitations#skipping every card after anniv just to save for this au#GOD this card art makes me so unwell#tot artists i am begging you have some mercy#胡说八道#lynn talks tot
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invisible scars (referenced previous talk here)
[ID: A colourless, digital Trigun comic of Vash and Wolfwood talking about Wolfwood's scars. They're both laying in bed and topless. Vash lays on top of Wolfwood, playing with the rosary around his neck. Then, Vash kisses a spot on Wolfwood's chest. Wolfwood asks, "What are you doing?" Vash smiles sadly, "You got shot here. In the last town we visited. You didn't even bother moving."
Vash props himself up over Wolfwood, who frowns slightly. Wolfwood is quiet for a moment before he says, "You remember that, huh?" Vash grabs Wolfwood's left wrist and brings it to his face. "And here." He kisses another spot there. "When you helped free the hostages from that robber..." Wolfwood dismissively says, looking away, "Was a lucky shot." Vash huffs, “Don’t brag. Jeez.”
Half of Wolfwood's expression is shown, eyes returning to Vash who is now sitting up, continuing to say, "And..." Vash goes on and kiss Wolfwood's right palm. "You got cut here, even though that girl was aiming at me." A moment from the past flashes, of Wolfwood grabbing a knife aimed at Vash, his hand bleeding.
At present, Vash moves down and puts another kiss on Wolfwood's right shoulder. "And here, from watching my back." Another memory flashes of Wolfwood and Vash back to back. Vash looks back as Wolfwood grins while holding Punisher, bleeding from multiple gunshots in his shoulder.
"And," Vash combs up Wolfwood's hair to reveal his forehead, "Here." A final memory shows Wolfwood with a regeneration vial in his mouth while getting shot on his temple. The next panel is framed in blood with Vash at the center, eyes wide and stunned in horror. The next panel is a closed up shot of Wolfwood's eye, locked on Vash's face.
Back to present, Vash’s head is bowed down as Wolfwood raises a hand to his nape and says, “Spikey.”
Wolfwood looks serious and frowns as he says, "We talked about this. Those were my decisions. They're not there anymore. Forget about them." Vash looks very sad before he smiles ruefully and says, "I still see them. All the time." He leans down so they touch foreheads. Wolfwood’s sorrowful expression can be seen as Vash says, "You protect so much. I could never forget what you've done to me. And many others..."
In the last image, they're drawn more cartoonishly. Wolfwood sweats and asks, "You don't actually remember every wound, right?" Vash points at a spot on his chest. "Kuroneko left a scratch here 7 times." Wolfwood, startled, says, "Why the hell are you keeping count—" End ID]
Credits for ID here and here
#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun#trigun maximum#another scars comic for one of the vw week days!!!! frankly i think about their scars WAY too often . most notably wolfwood's because#it really symbolizes a lot for him imo bc for vash it's a history of all the people that's ever harmed him betrayed him and the trust he has#given to humanity despite it all. its a beautiful reflection of his character and then u look at ww and presumably#since we dont really see him half naked Ever (shame) and i mean. i guess technically its a hc -- i assume he wouldn't have any scars bc#of the regen potions (which is why he doesnt have his t scars btw the regen pot took them away :pensive:)#in a way its like washing his hands of blood. giving him the body of someone who might never been involved in a fight never held a gun#but he knows thats not true yet he cant really do anything about it anyway bc he's still just human. if he stops taking the regen pots#he can't press forward. so its just a rinse and repeat and growing accustomed to whats inflicted on him because he knows it'll go away at#the end of the day. he's human but he's also not he's far beyond what could be considered a normal human but he still just is.#mortal but also not immortal. idk. i overthink about it a lot GMSKGMDK frankly i dont think it matters THAT much in the context of trimax#but it means a lot to me somehow. also thinking about how no matter how many times ww kills he's never numb to the sensation of it. maybe#the adrenaline gets to him for the beginning half but ive been rereading like.. vol 3? and that entire fight for ww#u can slowly see him spiral as he keeps on going on. anyway anyway. i love ww#ruporas art
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pygmalion and galatea for aroace people
you should tell your friends what I look like, riz gukgak.
#fantasy high#fantasy high sophomore year#fhsy#riz gukgak#baron from the baronies#fh class quangle#class swap babeyy! bard!riz that's whats goin on!#I really need tags for these now I think lmao#ask to tag#I feel like this should be tagged something. but I dont know what#in my brain after the initial kidnapping class swap baron's thing is every time riz keeps his story abt them up in front of his friends#they get a little bit closer. they send him pictures of where they supposedly are n stuff#theres a scene in my brain only of kristen and riz on top of the van and kristen is like everything kinda sucks rn can u tell me abt baron#cause what you guys have is so nice and beautiful. and riz almost doesn't but he ultimately can't deny kristen a little peace#lmao I feel like dipping into baron stuff with the class swap is like showing my whole ass online again I just. I'm a#horror person before all else... I cant stop myself. canon baron is Great and Cool but that is kind of the thing. for a horror thing theyre#Too Cool. I think cool is kind of the neutralizer of scary. when a monster is a certain amount of cool it overrides the scary#and now u just have a Cool Monster#its so fucked for bard!riz this year bc he doesn't have an office (he's mooching off the school wifi from the AV club room lol)#so there's no buffer between adventure and home life. so baron just shows up in the strongtower apartment lmao#sophomore year bard!riz looks like a slasher protag so I just leaned into it I guess. he gets a mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon kennedy#well. its worse actually. they can show up where he is at any moment theyve proven this. but they dont#they choose to punish him slowly as he lies to his friends instead. baron is mr. x if mr. x is made up by leon and also a bitch#I think its gonna pop up if class swap baron ever speaks in a comic I do but their voice comes from like. inside their hollow face#it sounds like it's a lot deeper in there than that skull should be#tbh what I have rn is kinda like a bag of loose pieces that Can fit together into something great but I dont have the energy to#really sit down with them yet lol. Im doing this inbetween other things#it comes or it doesn't! it's fine. funny how today's bad comic day also. I wont say this is for bad comic day bc all my comics are#flawless and beautiful and perfect and awesome and beautiful and the best#but u should. if u havent drawn a comic today or at all ever u should draw a comic
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#ffxiv#ffxiv gpose#wolgraha#g'raha tia#Arsay Nun#graharsay#sometimes you gotta stop in the middle of the road to look at your beautiful wife and be so embarrassing about the pda#even im yelling that they should just get a room i cant handle them
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once again i offer you a mix of hlvrai and a game i like. this time it's sky!!
i originally wanted to draw the whole science team, but i forgot and by the time i noticed it was too late for me to dare trying.
i have the entire thing (mostly) planned, but i dont wanna post it yet. id like to post it with a drawing of everyone.
2023.11.18
#hlvrai#sky#sky cotl#hlvrai gordon#hlvrai tommy#sky children of the light#sorry about the bland looking clouds by the way. i tried to do this without a reference and its very obvious i did.#look at them. they're entering the daylight prairie. they're so unaware. explosion#i DID make an effort to give them canon (?) cosmetics.... but it's too hard. i either cant decide or cant find anything at all.#so i decided to just do what i want#anyways this is ur sign to play sky pls its such a beautiful game !!!#especially the current season we're in as i post this (revival)#ok i need to stop or else im going to reveal all the lore#hlvrai x sky au#im gonna try to actually name this one. how about#sky children of the light but the ai is self aware#No. too long#sky but the children are self aware#that one's just really funny. The Children Maria They're Self Aware#or like half life vr children of th#i dont know. this is harder than it looks
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aryu and tokimitsu are so special to me actually
#tokimitsu picking up styl/glam/osha as a manner of speech from him in canon is so cute.#but also i read tokimitsu's egoist bible profile and like. ougghhh. he is so unconfident. i think he thinks aryu is really cool#because he thought aryu was weird at first (he still does‚ a bit) but he admires how unapologetically himself aryu is and wishes he could be#like that. tokimitsu has never worn nail polish in his life and keeps his jair at that length because it's a Normal length no one would#judge him for. and then he meets all these freaks in blue lock who are not scared like he is. but aryu specifically is so flamboyant and#Unashamed it's just incredible to him.#and tokimitsu is like a scraggly baby pigeon to aryu. not quite glam but endearing. they've bonded.#actually aryu would probably rest a hand on tokimitsu's shoulder and be like 'you have strong muscles like a beautiful racehorse. that is#so glam of you.' to which tokimitsu is baffled but a little flattered. anyway i think aryu makes tokimitsu look at pictures of horses. and#they listen to music together. i think they would enjoy each other's favorite songs. and of course aryu would convince tokimitsu to let him#paint his nails so he can stop biting them (it's not stylish). tokimitsu wants to hide his hands afterward but cant help but notice how#his hands aren't so bad to look at with emerald green nail polish on them. it feels nice.#Where did this come from. Goodnight#masayapping#aryu jyubei#tokimitsu aoshi
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partner bumpies...
florida panthers @ la kings (quebec city) | 10.5.24
#aaron ekblad#niko mikkola#florida panthers#2425#preseason#(bonks you lovingly)(bonks you lovingly)(bonks you lovingl#the physicality of affection#ekkys love language is sticking to your side like a remora and you are a shark#is there something beautiful that their hallway ritual is them bashing their shoulders into each other at full force#but on the ice the bumpies become so soft and tender#also realise that every instance of these two engaging in skinship its always ekky initiating it i need to state that its so important#i have said it before but they are stuck in a warrior cats amv... its the loving bump as they go along their way#you know the coyote waiting for their badger friend to go through the tunnel video? those vibes...#just... kitty bumpies... when kitties bump into each other as affection#also can you feel the love tonight number from lion king#anyways#they are so important to me#ekky really can survive a day without sticking and bumping into someone's side ooughhhhh#mikksy what does it feel like to have ekkys sole attention on you because forsy isnt here#he is burdened by it he begrudgingly (read: is touched) by it#no i have to stop i cant be here right im gonna jdfmmfmgmgmr#ALSO LMAOOO SASHA DRIVEBYYYY#EKKY IN FRONT OF SASHA#YOURE GONNA GET THIS TOUCHY WITH MIKKSY IN FRONT OF SASHA#GIRL YOU ARE SO SO MESSY#do you think mikksy looks over at sasha and gives him a panicked look of i promise this isnt what it looks like please help me#and sasha just chuckles. keeps skating. and lets mikksy have to deal with ekky by himself which is a worse fate to mikksy#okay stopping now i cantnfng
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ALSOOOOOOO i Finally got to ride a skateboard at the skatepark with bf n friends for the first time ever yesterday and i feel so 👀👀👌👌👌💯💯💯 i managed to be able to balance and push around and stop without falling and it was fun tbh!! i can see getting muscle memory and improvement by doing it consistently 😤 i just hope this aint too short of a phase for everyone so i can hopefully get me own board soon 🙏
#i kno i said i had to take it easy but it was the 4th i had to go out n live a little shhhhh#i think i skate goofy but it might be bc im left handed so its just How Its Gunna Be lmfao hopefully i'll see#theyve been starting to go there recently and a few ppl are thinking abt getting more boards and skates and ofc i Gotta get one#its practically required of me to get one AHA#being able to use my book smarts research abt footing and pushing with the right foot/ stopping without a tragedy was rlly cool#i havent fell yet but im dreading it bc that shit will be inevitable lolol its just a matter of when#it definitely takes confidence and intent and Brother i am but a teacup chihuahua#BUT that is the beauty of progress and improvement and courage#even if its just a couple months fad thing for them it would still be nice to at least get the experience#and get a better idea of what the hell my Entire story is about lmfao#i hate that it took me this long but its what i gotta do better late than never#i think i aint got crippling anxiety for everything and then i realize i cant do like 85% of things#i want to do in life AHAaa#its just one of them things i Gotta have someone do it with me so this opportunity fell into my lap and im ESTATIC#edit looked it up again and i DO NOT skate goofy i skate regualr HELL YEAH
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lord give me the strength to do some character studies tonight
#stfu chris#im thinkin about robo ky and ryou rn#because. i love mecha characters. theyre just Metal Dolls and theyre beautiful creatures and i love drawing them#but mecha is so intricate and i dont think that robo ky has like. an official body design#at least not from what ive seen#so i need to spend time figuring out how to draw him#and then i have to figure out how to portray ryou in my style. because i havent drawn him nearly freaky enough#so ive gotta mess around with how i draw him#i have so many IDEAS but no fucking TIME#god im gonna lose my mind once the new ibvs chapter comes out. hyperfixation overload good god#also i cant stop thinking about how i made robo ky look like a twunk at best in that babygirl pose drawing 💔 i have to avenge myself
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Also I never knew that there was even a single color photograph of my grandparents' wedding in 1952. I've only ever seen the ones in black and white. Don't they look beautiful? Didn't I just come from the most gorgeous people?
#i love how you can actually see my grandfather's red hair#as a redhead i know the injustice that black and white does to us... alas!#my charcoal self-portraits always look unlike myself to me because im like i have red hair. this doesnt look like a redhead#this isnt me#also even though it's a white dress. grammy's dress looks so much more beautiful surrounded by color#wow#tales from diana#did you know i never knew my grandmother was a local beauty queen when she was younger until after she died?#when her dementia got to the stage where she needed a live-in nurse to help her all the time#at one point my aunt rediscovered a picture from when she was about. 17. i posted it years ago#she scanned it and had it cropped and framed and left it in the front of the living room#the first time the nurse saw that photo (i was there) she said 'DAAAAMN MOM IS THAT YOU?'#and grammy was like 'oh :) yes thats me'#like it was nothing and then later on the nurse said 'i know you already said it but damn i just cant stop looking at you!'#that nurse was really nice. really really nice.#the priest at the wake when saying a prayer for the family before everyone else started ushering in#mentioned what a beauty my grandmother was and what a lovely couple the two of them were.#they went to that local church for about 60 years so he mustve known them for decades. it was a nice touch.
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I think "you are also that which others do not see" is a very important motto to have in the age of social media n people being able to advertise the best aspects of themselves while hiding the worst.
Just cuz others see the good doesn't make up for the bad parts. That's just pure vanity at that point. But at the same time, the things you keep for yourself, the joys you alone get to experience, those too are part of you.
Everyone has a thousand things to love within them and ten thousand things to hate that never sees the light of say. Why would we rather live acting like the moment something bad is visible it ruins everything else? Can't we live knowing that we're all a bunch of animals trying to survive, and the fact that we can find something to love at all is truly amazing?
#no?#bc it wont make a profit for the beauty wellness n “health” industries?#okay :-(#i also think a big reason we grasp onto each bad thing#is bc we're trying to see what that bad thing says about the person#“if they're so sick theyd be like that in public imagine what theyre hiding”#but thinking like this is a symptom of the problem#we get uncomfortable at the sight of abnormality n think theres a reason for everyone to be this way#we like to think the person speaking calmly down to the person sobbing is the one who's better#but just as much as it could be someone whos calmly reassuring a friend#someone who could be asking someone who suffered first hand at something to defend why that shouldnt happen#just cuz it looks better doesnt make it better. just cuz its emotional and raw doesnt make it wrong#my point isnt to say all discomfort with emotion is a bad thing#In fact its the opposite. we have to be aware of those things. but we cant trust our discomfort anymore#we are uncomfortable from yelling because we fear of what the knife in his hand could do#my point is that bc society has focused on what the yelling “might mean”#we can't hear a grown man yelling about how he fucking loves ice cream without thinking about a knife#and people who intend reap harm know this and take advantage of this. they use the calmness to take control of the dynamic#to abuse the social pressure to get their way without being viewed negatively#and can demand that those suffering jump through more n more hoops to prove the goodness they have in them#i just think we need to stop demanding people prove they're deserving of love n kindness. n start asking why people are demanding they do
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i
saw a post that reminded me of a pokemon mystery dungeon zine i was following and i. forgot about it. completely. i wanted to buy it and preorders are over all their leftovers are fucking gone. i missed it by a few days. i am so completely utterly fucking devastated
#i know there are bigger problems in the world and im just whining but pmd is my favorite game series ever of all time in the whole world#i wanted to buy this zine so so so so so bad i wanted the merch it all looks so cute and now its FUCKING GONE FOREVER!!!!!#not my biggest problem rn but everything just keeps piling up can i have ONE good thing happen to me!! or bad things stop happening!!!!!!!#im so fucking heartbroken i cant believe i forgot i fucking hate myself and my shit brain so much#why am i so bad at zines man 😭😭😭 i feel like every time i try to apply or buy one or find them or whatever something goes wrong!!!!!!!!!#i wanted ittttttt i wanted it so bad it's so amazing everything looks beautiful and im never ever ever ever gonna get the chance to have it#i guess its better i dont spend money. whatever. what the fuck ever
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BEHOLD-- My rook, Veryl de Riva of the Antivan Crows!!! They're a mage and also a little dumb but doing their best.
VEILGUARD GOOD. EVERYONE IS PRETTY. HELP.
#dragon age#dragon age veilguard#the veilguard#my rook is so pretty i cant stop looking at them#i just cant handle them aaaaaaaa#this game is so beautiful i vry#cry#not vry.#datv spoilers#datv rook#rook de riva#de riva rook#antivan crows
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a group of people should not be this gorgeous
#theres nothing i love more than two bitches and their heart of gold well meaning yet stupid token boy#they just look so good together it physically pains me#but i do YEARN for a dominic sessa inclusion in this group#i just yearn for dominic sessa LMAO#also cant decide if i make them a throuple#the dynamics are there#im just not sure ...#anyways!! these are the babes i have been nursing for at least 2 years#have a written a piece for them yet? NOPE#but they live beautiful fruitful lives in my head 🫶#ೃ⁀➷ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐄 : general ❨ tell me when you hear my heart stop ❩˙#♱⁺.⊹꒷꒦ 𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍 : general ❨ you tell me of a flower that only blooms in the violet hour ❩˙#˚⸙͎۪۫⋆ ༄ 𝐈𝐀𝐍 : general ❨ will you hold your hand among the flames? ❩˙#oc stuff#cj speaks
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me, refusing to be perceived: why don’t people perceive me ://///////
#home cooked hijinks#. im the architect of my own fucking problems and there is literally not a single reason for it im just a fucking freak and a coward#and i KNOW this and i HATE it and i CANT FUCKING STOP MYSELF#like. jesus. there’s something wrong with me like genuinely#i keep secrets for no reason i push people away and then complain about it like bitch whos fault do you think it is...#i dont know. i just. i think im living for a future that i'm never going to let happen. how much longer can i keep rotting like this?#i dont know. i dont know. it scares me a lot. im scared of a lot of things. im a fucking coward i know i just dont want to dissapoint anyon#and i dont even know i dont know i dont even have problems i think i just don't want to be happy#i cant ever seem to be happy even when i'm trying to be i look back at the present and think “this will be so bittersweet when theyre gone”#i dont really want to keep living but i hate the thought of dying like this.#if i die will they say she lit up a room will they say she was dutiful and polite will they say she was a beautiful girl i dont want that#i really dont want that but i dont ever want to say anything i dont even know. im sorry. im sorry. i talk and gibberish comes out#they dont listen to me because i dont want them to. i want somebody to listen most of all. if somebody listened to me it might break me.#i dont know. i dont know. i really dont know. what does it say about me that i write my diary in a famously broken code?
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.
#holly talks#venting in tags#i wanna scream i feel so dysphoric all the time#whats it like to be pretty whats it like? does it feel warm? does it feel cold? what is it like?#do you feel distant? do you feel loved? do you feel separate? do you feel wanted? what is it like to be beautiful?#i want to...fix this about myself#i want to Stop Caring#i want to stop feeling so hurt and hideous and broken just cuz i have a normal fuckon body that hasnt responded to hormones#cuz i cant ever afford to be on them consistently#i know plenty of beautiful women who look like me so why the fuck do i look so bad?
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