#i cant stand these two btw they wont get out of my fucking HEAD

[forseties]

been obsessed with dq11 lately. im puttign them in my mouth

[kiyocuck]

silly

ok im sick as hell and unfortunately also very bored so im gonna write down some silly naeishimondo scenarios ive been brainrotting for a while

Makoto being sick like me and staying home, meanwhile both taka and mondo barge into his house, bringing in homemade soup and tea (both of which makoto already got), and while they're being sad over the fact their favorite little guy wont be at the academy with them for the rest of the week, komaru steals the soup and tea cuz she woke up sick too (from makoto). An alt ending is them giving makoto a Liiiittle kiss on the forehead, both of them thinking they wont get sick, and waking up with 40°C temperature the next day

Them all going to mondo's house for a hangout-sleepover bcuz hes the only one of the three with a queen-sized bed (lil context, after mondo quit being a biker gang leader [in a universe where daiya is alive cuz fuck you] him and his brother move to a more. "calm" place, just the two of them. they still hangout w the other gang members though). they all watch movies and taka drops dead snoring the second the clock hits 10pm bcuz his brain cant handle staying up later for "no reason" (he has pulled all nighters when it comes to studying). mondo falls asleep second, and makoto just watches them sleep peacefully before snuggling between them and going to sleep too (imagine cringing over what ur writing help)

Going home in the snowy weather after shopping all evening (taka made them both come with him). theyre all holding equal amount of bags, until mondo grabs them all and speedruns to their house cuz hes FREEZING, and boy oh boy does he not like the cold at all. after that he sticks himself to the heater for like 10 minutes, while makoto and taka think to themselves that he looks like hes purring next to it (they both assigned him a catboy in their heads cuz it makes him 10 times cuter (also my version of him has a default >:3 face that all owada family members have (its more noticable on daiya but still))

Continuing the last one, theyre cooking together now!!! mondo kinda sucks at it, makoto is trying his best, and taka is this 🤏 close to chewing a brick over how they cut the vegetables (they look chunky (his autism can't stand it, meanwhile their autisms dont care/dont even notice it (no im not projecting not at all))). eventually they make a nice meal (of unknown kind cuz i can never think of foods LMFAO) and it turned out surprisingly good. yum!

Pet assigning. as i mentioned makoto n taka have assigned mondo a cat/catboy, but the same applies for the others. taka is a dog, obviously, but specifically a husky BECAUSE (im gonna be so annoying about this): Hes black and white, hes dramatic and loud like how huskies are, very loving (as every dog), and when his hair grows out more and mondo touches it, it reminds him of how fluffy huskies' fur is. makoto is a bunny, but i unfortunately dont know many bunny breeds so i will probably elaborate more once i look up and decide. hes just short/"small" and silly like one, and his ahoge going down when hes sad resembles bunny ears going down. (btw if ur curious mondo is either a tiger (still a cat!!!) or a persian cat. bcuz i cant help but imagine him as a chonky orange persian cat that on one occasion scratches your eyes, and on another cuddles on your shoulders. la creatura)

i think thats all for now! most of my other scenarios are even more generic, like going on dates (aquarium, cafe, cinema etc) so i dont have that much to write LOL.

if you read the whole thing, heres some items for yuo 🍀🧭💎

[angryborzois]

@astral-from-afar since u wanted to hear my story lmao (it was kinda long to be a comment)

alright idk where to begin lmfao

okay so i dont remember how much of it I told you but remember the clingy girl who was insensitive and stuff last year? (ok its okay if you don't remember but yeah there was a girl like that jasdffkd)

she's one of the people i remember and get annoyed about to this day but okay that's still not that bad since I managed to drift from her

so the real problem was this other clingy girl 😭YES THERE WERE TWO

i guess she was less clingy and a little more tolerable but still... the problem here was that this girl liked me.....

there were a lot of reasons that make me pissed off remembering to this day but that's sort of unrelated here (for context just know that I disliked her from the near beginning) so onto the main story

So this girl would always ask for hugs from me which I was okay with at first (she did it to everyone ig) but eventually I stopped letting her hug me because I got tired of it and I don't really like hugs to begin with.

but still, she was weird about physical touch...i remember this one time where she kept touching my arm when I was wearing a short sleeve and she was saying stuff like "wow you're so muscular" (IM NOT BTW??? LIKE BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY IM AVERAGE ASF) like okay that was creepy ngl.... i still didn't think anything of it back then though which was stupid of me because I should've connected all the dots

also she kept complimenting me all the time which was mildly uncomfortable but yeah couldn't do anything about that ig

eventually i started hanging out with other people and avoided this girl to the best of my ability until the end of the year because by that time I was thinking "oh whatever I'm going to transfer anyways" so i stopped caring since i thought it would be over soon

yeah so on the last day she was VERY clingy since she knew I would transfer (I did let her though since I was thinking "oh its the last day and I'm never coming back so whatever. cant be that bad. ill forget about it later" and honestly that was a big mistake)

so school hours officially ends and we're at the gate of the school. and this girl physically WONT LET ME LEAVE. she was hugging me and refusing to let go but at that point I was like "oh who cares ig". she probably made me stand there for like 10 minutes istfg 💀but then here comes the terrifying part

she suddenly lets go and looks me dead in the eyes and asks for me to kiss her on the cheek (I think? i kind of forgot the exact phrasing by now). i gave her a weird stare (more like a horrified stare cause wtf.) and she just looked away in embarrassment and went back to hugging me and by this time I was like "oh hell no get me out of here". maybe a minute later she suddenly kisses me on the head and leaves

LIKE OKAY WHAT...

THAT WAS AT THE FRONT GATE. PEOPLE SAW. i wanted to disappear and never come back...like i dont know if she had the wrong idea that i liked her back but what the fuck......it was just so unnecessary....

for the rest of the day i did not feel well about this ☠☠☠

anyways remembering that still annoys me to this day like okay maybe if i had been an asshole and said no to her last hug i couldve prevented that

thankfully the people in my new school are actually sane like holy shit what kind of a traumatizing school did i accidentally enroll in for a year

havent met anyone clingy ever since but I'm never intending on letting anybody hug me ever again unless I trust them

tldr: my old school was borderline traumatizing

[sugarfeemaster]

Back at it again wit the tiktok audios

(Its a Steven universe reference btw)

Zushi and Killua where training together. After Killua and Gon parted Killua didn't have much to do to stay on his feet so he decided to visit Zushi whom was baffled by how strong killua has gotten during the time they separated aswell. Since Alluka was Zushi's age they both grew a close friendship. Killua and Zushi's meets went from play fighting to Killua seriously training him as long as Zushi promised to protect Alluka if anything happens to him. Zushi figures that he was just being a protective worry wort and if Alluka really want to learn how to protect herself then he can teach her nen, in which she wanted to. She knows that Killua can't and shouldn't give the rest of his life to pretect her. Zushi began teaching her the beginning of everything...

It was the middle of a fight. Zushi was beginning to tired out. Killua was being a smart asswhole "come on man all you have to do is take this ball from my hand then I'll let you rest. I cant make it any simpler" he hasn't moved from the spot he's been standing in for almost two hours now. Alluka grew tired of waiting. Zushi usually teaches her after his battles with Killua and at this point he'll physically wont be able to. Alluka stares at Zushi as if she was begging to join his side in the fight and Zushi quickly gave in and gave her a nod. She proceeds to run over to Zushi taking his side. Killua seems confused "Alluka please go sit down you're getting in the way"Killua said in a playfull sibling arguing way "You're rules dont have anything against me joining the fight big brother! I'll be a distraction!" She gave Zushi a smile and he returned it before both charging at Killua at the same time. Killua grew frustrated and dodged Zushi's attack by attempting to kick him out the way but Alluka blocked it for him so he have an opening. Killua was so focused on reeling back the power he put in the kick to not hurt Alluka that he ended up finally moving away from the spot. This happened again before Killua accidentally hit Alluka with his full strength causing her to basically fly back but Zushi caught her causing both of them to tumble back. "Fuck- Alluka! Are you okay!?" A wave a guilt crashed over him as he ran to help them but paused at the sight.

"No! In a real battle you wont be able to dodge attacks for Zushi!" Killua fussed in disapproval "Yes I will! I'll become powerful enough to!" she snapped back "Alluka you dont know that. You don't know anything about fighting." "Yes I do! I know nen and once I'm stronger, if Zushi ever has to fight we're going to fight together!" She seems more encouraged to do so. "That's right!" Zushi cheered giving her a high-five. Killua soon became blinded with his emotions "You shouldn't be anywhere near the fight. You're too important!" This time he seemed more angered. "I am not!" Alluka argued back. "Yes you are!" "No!" Zushi was just in the middle of it all not knowing what to say in this argument. "WHY WONT YOU JUST LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU GON!" A silence fell amongst the three for what seemed to be a long dragged out minute until it was broken by Killua's sigh of him noticing his mistake. "I.. I mean.. let HIM do this." he brushed away the few tears that blurred his vision and avoided eye contact as he spoke. "Why wont you let Zushi do this.. for you" He dropped the now deflated ball and cleared his throat "That's enough for today Zushi, you two can go play or whatever... I'm heading home Alluka, we'll speak on this after Zushi walks you back" Killua turned his heels and withdrew from the field. Alluka and Zushi remained sitting on the ground, an awkward silence filled the between them.

[thompsborn]

do you have any spare ironhusbands or sambucky headcanons?

ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY

oh my god okay i’ve been so fucking wrapped up in both ironhusbands and sambucky and absolutely nothing else for WEEKS because of tfatws (obviously if you have seen my endless spam of reblogs but can you BLAME ME) and the portal closed has ironhusbands so i’ve been just. oh my god i am happily drowning in this and them and i do not need nor want air. ok.

also these are all hc’s based just in canon not au, and lol warning this got so long help me, though my brain is so scrambled from tfatws finale that all sambucky thoughts are scrambled and jumbled so i wasn't able to coordinate them as well as ironhusbands so the ironhusbands section is definitely longer pfighf i'm so sorry i'm like this

ironhusbands:

when they met at mit tony didnt know shit. like. like nothing. he didnt know a single god damn thing about anything. like he was a genius he could solve any equation given to him and baffled professors when he was handed like two supposedly impossible equations to this fuckin fourteen year old and he just looked at them with like a mcdonalds burger or some shit hanging out of his mouth and just answered them no problem, but he was still such a hopeless idiot, and rhodey, also a genius attending as a sixteen year old, had to teach him the basics of life, like. making toast. tony how do NOT know how to make toast. its TOAST. you put it in the TOASTER. have you NEVER SEEN A—OH MY GOD HOW DID YOU FUCKING CATCH IT ON FIRE—

he does not perfect the clearly impossible task of making toast until he is 17 and rhodey buys him a cake to celebrate the momentous occasion even though tony went though 528 toasters

you are gold by the national parks. thats it. thats all i have to say. listen to the song and look up the lyrics. you’ll get it.

and also paper planes by jon bellion but specifically for after rhodey tells tony he’s gonna join the air force and tony is worried but doesnt know how to show it and they have like a chill night in and all tony can think about is how stupid he is and how he’s such a coward because he cant get himself to tell rhodey that hi!! i love u!! and im scared to lose u and that you’ll get hurt and maybe die or smth!!

when rhodey finds out about how tony was raised (going with mcu, where tony wasnt physically abused but more emotionally neglected and ignored by howard and always talked down to and compared to others and wasnt treated like he was worthy and never was told he was loved and everything like that) he gets PISSED. like he is MONUMENTALLY angry. and it takes YEARS for him to find out about this too. and it actually puts a bit of a strain on their friendship for awhile when they meet too

like rhodey knows about the starks obviously and he assumes tony is going to be this obnoxious arrogant rich boy asshole and is so not looking forward to being roommates but he was raised to have an open mind and give everyone a chance, but tony was raised to be wary of everyone and keep his walls up and his emotions in shackles because whatever he shows can be used against him, so they clash, you know? they dont fight or anything but theres tension bc it isnt right and they dont get each other.

rhodey tries to be nice and tony doesnt understand nice because his only example of nice is jarvis and his mom and even then his mom and jarvis are always off with his dad so he barely sees them so its still rare for him to experience the nice of them so he doesnt know how to be around someone nice all the time, and so he gets defensive and thinks about how howard drilled it into him to be wary and he thinks maybe rhodey isnt ACTUALLY nice but someone PRETENDING to be

and rhodey starts to feel justified in assuming the worst about tony stark because tony is all cold and distant and rude and is about to stop the keeping an open mind thing about a month into their first year but then he comes back to their dorm early from class one day and tony doesnt come in so rhodey is just standing there and watches for a minute as tony sits there staring down at his twenty sixth attempt at a letter he wants to send his mom becauss he knows his mom likes letters even though he could just call but they havent really called him (howards fault but he’s fourteen still and its hard to rationalize that howards busy life and controlling thumb extends past his son) and rhodey is just confused because tony just suddenly sighs and sniffles a bit and murmurs “this is so stupid” and crumbles up the paper and throws it in the garbage and rhodey cant help but peer into it and barely sees the words hey mom scribbled at the top and that. that. hm. okay.

so rhodey keeps trying because he wasnt supposed to see that but he did and now he kind of has a feeling that maybe tony isnt all that cold and distant and rude as he seems, maybe he just doesnt really know how to be any different, so he thinks about all the subtle little ways that his family has shown him they care about him and starts to invite tony to go get food or to study together even though neither of them really need to study or to help each other with assignments or just anything thats mundane enough to not raise suspicion but still starts to open the door and make tony relax around him just that little bit and then before tony realizes it the end of their first year is there and theyre like friends or something and it hits him that he’s gonna miss rhodey.

for the first time ever there’s someone other than his mom and jarvis that he’s actually going to miss.

rhodey grins at him and says that they’ll be roommates again next year because they have to be and that the summer will be over before they know it and the sentiment is nice but tony spends the summer alone wandering around a house too big and empty after being in a dorm that’s small and has a friend.

but rhodey doesn���t know this. like he knows that tony isn’t the kind of guy he originally assumed but he doesn’t know that he’s literally ignored and neglected and like emotionally and sometimes verbally abused so he’s kind of surprised when the next year begins and they DO end up being roommates again (because tony kind of asked his mom, on a rare day when he got to see her and howard wasnt around, to get mit to make sure they could be) and tony just HUGS him like its been years and they’ve known each other forever but he goes with it and hugs him back because maybe tony’s just more affectionate once he gets to know someone and rhodey is okay w that.

they get closer as the years go by and they graduate from mit together and they’re BEST friends and at the end of the year rhodey invites tony to spend new years eve w his family but tony cant bc howard is having some kind of gala starting at 5 because hes weird and dumb and tony hates it and he also isnt given the option of not going even though he doesnt want to but the entire way there howard drills into him about not fucking up and berates him for all the times he has in the past and when they get there tony is already just not feeling it so he’s like nope!! no!! i simply cannot!!

so he goes in and finds an exit thats in the back and he leaves and finds a fucking payphone of all things and he has rhodeys home number memorized for years now and he calls and someone he doesnt knoe answers and theres music in the background and voices and tony’s entire stomach is in his throat and his heart is sunken into his twisted gut because he just wanted one night where maybe he could smile next to his parents and feel like he fit with them but he couldnt have that and he asks to talk to rhodey and then he is and asks if its too late to accept his invite and rhodey is like yeah of course do u need my address bc its still only 5 pm and its a 2 hour drive between south philadelphia and manhattan so he’d make it with plenty of time before it got to midnight so yay

and tony is like. oh. hm. i dont know how to drive actually. that was a thing that no one ever thought to teach me even though i asked about it about ten million times. and rhodey is used to tony not knowing how to do things that most people their age can (see: the toast) and plus its not uncommon for people from new york to not drive anyway so he doesnt think anything of it and instead asks for tony’s address to come pick him up instead and they’d still make it back by like 9-9:30 so that would work too

and thats when tony is like. well.

about that.

he might be calling from a payphone.

on a random street corner.

and its kind of raining. and he’s cold. and he’s a bit dulled out from everything so he doesn’t really think about the fact that admitting this is going to lead to having to explain what happened and also why and that is happens often. but that doesnt matter because he kind of just wants to be with his best friend and not back at that gala with his dad right now.

rhodey is like,,, ok. ok. wheres a coffee shop nearby u can wait in. and tony thankfully is by a 24 hour one and tells him the name and the street corner its closest to and rhodey is like i’ll be there asap and tony goes and he waits.

a two hour drive turns into an hour and a half because rhodey is Worried™

but when he walks in tony goes from being all dulled out to being all HOLY SHIT because rhodey has a SPLIT LIP and he’s like WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHAT THE FUCK WHAT

and rhodey’s like no no its good my uncle was having fun and trying to wrestle with me and he accidentally elbowed me its all good man dont worry about it

tony isnt used to accidentally being hurt tho so he’s still like hmmm but he takes rhodeys word on it and they head out and tony wont say what happened or why he was calling from a payphone ?? which btw tony literally only was able to do bc there happened to be dropped change on the ground because boy would not have change on him ok, but rhodeys like alright lets go with this for now

so they gets to the rhodes house and it is in full swing with family and extended family and adopted family bc they are 100% the family that just adopts the neighborhood kids and the people who have no one else and like ex boyfriends and ex girlfriends even after the relationship ends bc they still are family despite not dating whoever it was they had been dating in order to be introduced to them so its a LOT of people and tony is like. this is semi familiar in terms a lot of people but this is NOTHING like what he has ever seen before holy fucking SHIT

rhodey is just like oh u have a small family then? so ur used to smaller gatherings?

and tonys like wtf are gatherings

and rhodey is starting to get a feel for what might be wrong but just takes tony inside to get him changed because he’s not spending new years eve at the rhodes house in a fucking expensive suit ok

tony is completely out of his element and like he’s not the only white guy there bc again the rhodes adopt people and those people are of every race and nationally you can imagine but he just isnt used to the vibe there are people laughing and sitting close together and playing games and theres music playing but not like classy music its music people can dance to and are dancing to and the food isnt the food he’s used to at galas and shit and nothing is what he’s used to and he just sticks to rhodey’s side like a fucking lost puppy and tries his best not to look like an idiot when rhodey introduces him to people and a lot of them know who he is but dont judge him or assume shit about him bc obviously if he’s friends w rhodey then he’s a good guy and they want to know him and thats enough

but tony is v overwhelmed bc what the FUCK IS HAPPENING this is nothing like anything he has ever experienced EVER

so eventually rhodey can tell he’s getting overwhelmed and takes him inside and lets him have a breather and then asks him about whats going in and thats when rhodey learns about what tonys life at home is really like and. anger.

SO MUCH anger

because not only has every single assumption he has ever made about tony been proven wrong, but now he knows that the best person he knows has never been treated the way he deserves and has never known a true home and comfort and love and safety and

and he’s gonna fix it

and this is the first step

so he takes tony back out and they’re still just friends but this is the day they both quietly realize they might kind of definitely like each other as more because tony is still so confused by the fact that what he knows isnt the normal and overwhelmed by how much there is and how different it is but rhodey holds his hand as a grounding point and whenever it might be too much they move off to the side where they arent completely gone but its less hectic and a bit more quiet and its just nice

tony goes to rhodeys house for every holiday despite whatever howard says

rhodey decks howard the only time they ever meet before tonys parents die and he has the most shit eating grin on his face afterwards that tony cant help but lose his shit laughing his ass off

anyway i didnt mean to ramble for so long about that specific idea so i’ll end the ironhusbands ramble with this one last thought, which is as follows:

rhodey gets hurt in the air force at some point, and it isnt that bad tbh but he does have to go the hospital and shit and gets stitches or whatever idk i dont know what specifically happens i just think it’d be just bad enough that it takes him a few weeks to be able to go back to work but he’s not like OH GOD HURT yk?

but like stated above tony was scared and worried when rhodey told him he was gonna go into the air force so he hears about this and they’re probably like almost 30 at this point because they’re dumb and it takes them forever to get their heads out of their asses (i say this even though in the portal closed it takes them even longer but i digress) rhodey has like his mon his sister his niece visiting him and they were worried but they know hes fine so theyre just talking and in a good mood and then—

door slams open. tony stark enter stage left. disheveled suit, fresh from a meeting he definitely was not supposed to leave, having flown in from maibu the second he heard and then had happy drive him and then got impatient because of traffic and ended up sprinting like ten blocks while happy was like what the FUCK

of course rhodeys family are well aware that these idiots are desperately in love with each other so they’re just like lol ok and just leave the room while tony starts fretting over him like he’s about to die himself if he doesnt know if rhodey is okay and rhodey is like tony tony dude tones stop tony im okay tony stop it

until finally tony just fucking breaks down like full on tears in his eyes voice cracking hands clasped as he leans against rhodeys bed and tells him that he was so scared and he is so scared all the time whenever rhodey is out there because all he can think about is losing him and him getting hurt or dying and it’s maddening and this is when they get their heads out of their asses and kiss for the first time

(irony at its finest bc later when they are married and tony becomes iron man rhodey refuses to not have a suit of his own because if tony is going out there in a metal flying tin can then he isn’t going alone and wow what a power couple)

sambucky:

firstly i’m going to go post tfatws, but i’ll make a bullet point before going into it so if you wanna read up until that point you can but most of this will be random little headcanons based post tfatws

also it isnt like a whole plotline thing like the ironhusbands ones ended up being these ones are more random and kinda all over the place but loosely connected

update from after writing this: i lied

let me start by saying my interpretation of why they are the way they are in civil war is because of steve

thats not saying steve is the bad guy i mean to say that they’re jealous of each other because they thought that THEY were steve’s best friend who the fuck is THIS guy i dont want him here go away

children. they are children.

which i find very funny to imagine from sams pov because he literally is a licensed therapist and would 100% recognize why he’s acting how he is but he’s petty enough to do it anyway

and also he literally was helping steve track bucky down but i like to imagine that sam didnt think they’d ever really find him again and it’d just make him and steve like super mega best friends or something because hes a CHILD

and then from bucky’s pov steve goes through all this trouble to find him and protect him and then this random guy is acting like steve’s best friend and gets to sit in the front seat ??? bullshit. absolutely bullshit. worst thing ever. so stupid.

its so funny to me okay its SO funny

its like that schoolyard thing where your friend makes another friend and you hate it so much that you do something stupid like color on their drawing or put gum in their hair or whatever but they’re adults with 1. super soldier serum or 2. a superhero reputation/avengers status and suit with wings. so thats a thing.

post civil war i dont think they get much yk. because bucky is out in cryo and team cap is on the run and i doubt theyre able to return to wakanda much, if at all, and then it’s infinity war and then it’s endgame and after endgame there’s the aftermath and the aftermath is a mess

i like to think they have some moments before tfatws though. not many but enough for that slight foundation thats we can kind of see in episode 2 yk.

okay NOW it gets into post tfatws so!!

SO post tfatws everything is different because now they not only have spent all this time together, but they understand each other in a way that they didn’t before. in a way no one ever has. not even steve, who may have known them before, but he isn’t here anymore and he wouldn’t understand who they are now vs who they were before and it’s different.

bucky finds comfort in sam’s home town. sam finds comfort in watching bucky find a home there and he doesnt know why.

also sam treats redwing like a puppy and lets him fly around on his own and gets pet and stuff and bucky acts annoyed but the longer it happens you can tell he’s like “oh my god why is this thing endearing”

bucky has nightmares and sam knows this but bucky doesnt know that sam also has nightmares until one night when they’re still in sams home town and they’re staying on the boat because sams nephews are having a sleepover with some friends and they didnt want to get in the way or smth idk i just want an excuse for them to be on the boat and somewhat secluded from people but bucky already woke up from his nightmare and is out on the deck to get some fresh out and then oop

sam havin a nightmare too

because fucking of COURSE sam has nightmares he has been through some shit too!! not being able to catch riley and everything that happened since meeting steve and thanos and he turned to dust alone in the bushes ok like yes everyone that died were traumatized undoubtedly (peter my baby boy baby im so sorry that you got the worst of it) but bucky was around people but sam was laying on the ground and probably just watched his hands as he disappeared and he was alone and like. jesus christ ok.

and then steve trusted him with every weight and everything that comes with the shield not knowing how much more the shield has when he gave it to a black man and just like he has nightmares everyone in marvel does its a fact

but bucky finds out like this and he is shocked even though he realizes he probably should have been able to guess that this is a thing and he knows so much more about sam now than he ever did but this is how he learns more. he learns about riley. he learns so much.

sometimes bucky has those like “oh shit” moments where he’s like “maybe i was kind of a dick to someone who didnt deserve it” and he already had one of those with sam about the shield but he has another one because he assumed shit about sam when they were being all childish and jealous about someone else being friends with steve but like fuck

steve and sam probably got it

the not catching someone. the way it felt to try and to reach out and to miss and to have to choice but to watch as they fell.

what’s different is that steve got bucky back. he got to have that relief, eventually, even if there was the pain of knowing bucky had been taken by hydra, but at least he knew bucky had made it.

sam didn’t have that. riley didnt make it.

therefore, bucky has his “oh shit”

and bucky was already going soft around the edges with sam (as clearly seen in the last two episodes of tfatws, ESPECIALLY the finale because like did tou SEEZ ALL THE HEART EYES oh my GOD) but it’s this that really makes something in him melt and he just. he loses the last remnants of whatever tension or resentment or whatever negative feeling he may have been clutching onto.

there wasnt much left. but now theres none. now its all washed away.

its gone, and he gets it.

sam is a licensed therapist and he knew the reason he was being all dumb and childish and jealous with bucky was because steve had another best friend but also because steve’s other best friend was the guy that had been a big factor in how him and steve understood each other and how they bonded and it

it had kind of felt like they lost part of that when they found bucky again in civil war and he kind of wanted to blame bucky for it even though he didnt actually blame him at all so all it translated to was that dumb kind of jealous thing instead

but now it’s just them. its sam and bucky and it isnt steve and it isnt about steve and it shouldnt be because its about them. its about the boat and the water and the way they sit and watch the waves while the silence settles over them and the way that bucky says, “im sorry.”

its the way sam says, “me too.”

and bucky says, “you dont have to be.”

its the way they stay there until sarah comes to get them for breakfast and sams nephews convince them to play with them and their friends and the world is still shit and there is so much to do but

but its this and its them and that can wait

it can wait

they can take their time if they want to

maybe they’ve earned that much, at least

(it isn't a fast development because they're a complicated pair and there's so much to the two of them that need to figured out individually before they can even realize how well they work together, but the steps are so much easier knowing that they have the other in their corner and bucky knows that sam's home town is a place he's welcome to go and sam helps him make his own dreary little apartment into something that feels real and tangible with a bed and a couch and when they've become something that resembles stable and they've found a balance and they're okay, that's when they realize that maybe they can try for the more that sometimes bubbles under their skin and that they started to think about the more they spend time together. the warmth that sam feels every time he sees bucky playing games with his nephew and the smile that bucky has to fight to hide and still can't fully suppress when sam stands tall and proud with the shield in its rightful place, and it takes time, it takes work, it takes carefully placed bricks to build the foundation they need, but they get there, and when they do...

when they do, they're already happy, and it just makes them happier, and that's what makes it so much better.

that's what makes it worth the wait.)

[serowotonin]

˗ˏˋ 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘀 ˎˊ˗

𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿 ` sakusa kiyoomi ` 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 ` 1.2k ` 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 ` pure crack ` 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁 ` hcs `

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` umm idk what this is.. lowkey based off real events? midnight ramblings? yeah that kind of thing i guess... also big thank you to @kaguol​  for giving this a read (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄) `

it was sports day at your school and most of the events were over and done with but the teachers didnt allow anyone to leave yet cuz,,,, reasons✨

which is why some of the students kinda just flocked to the gym to chill and maybe play around

that was until somebody suggested they host an unofficial, volleyball game

the net was still up nobody bothered to put it down so yeaahhh

rules of the game were simple: there were none, except keep the ball in the air and get it over the net…however you can

at first only a few ppl played… the “energetic” and “athletic” ones and it still seemed like a typical volleyball game

then more ppl started joining

and it slowly started getting more chaotic

it got to the point where the entire gym was the court

there were ppl running around chasing the ball, others just hitting it as hard as they can in practically any direction, then there were those who just stood there cuz everyone else was standing there so why not ??

now sakusa didn’t want to be there

he was tired because his class had signed him up for ALL the running events

why? well cuz he was tHe OnLy AtHLeCtiC PeRsOn in his class

utter bullshit btw

he plays volleyball hes not a runner

but still ended up winning tons of races just cuz… it was him💅✨ no explanation needed

n e wayss he was tired and wanted nothing more than to go home and take a nice long shower

but ofc the students of itachiyama wouldn’t let him

some of them dragged him into the game early on

again, because he was aThLeTiC ~

but this time they actually got the sport right lolol

honestly he was lowkey annoyed at how un-volleyball the game started to become but continued playing it anyway

it was hilarious how the others tried to receive even his weakest, half-assed spikes

sakusa always made sure to aim his spikes directly at ppl’s arms tho

not out of consideration for their pride or anything no no 

it was cuz whenever the ball touched the ground the ENTIRE gym groaned rlly loud and there’d be ppl going “NOOOOOOOO” 

and that annoyed tf out of him so he was nice with his spikes

then there was you

you were outside with one of your friends when the whole volleyball thing started and only came to the gym cuz the rest of your friends were in there

so you walked in, scanned the crowd, immediately noticed your crush *cough*sakusa*cough* and then found your friends standing in a group on the other side of the gym

now here’s the thing

sakusa has a crush™️ on you too. took him a while to realize and accept it but he did and now he officially has a crush on you

he just hadn’t really gotten around to the idea of asking you out or anything

mainly cuz he just very recently realized his feelings aka last night he was thinking about all the events he had to do for sports day and he groaned cuz ppl made him do it but then he realized ppl wasn’t actually ppl it was just you

you were the one who smiled at him and said “why not sakkun,, it’d be fun” and like that he agreed. then he realized further he actually thought about you a lot. like earlier he was thinking about how’d you look tmr since u weren’t gonna be in normal school uniform and you’d have your hair all done. and then he realized he was looking forward to seeing you which led him to realize you were one of the few ppl he actually enjoyed being around. THEN he fucking finally realized “oh… i have a crush…. on y/n……. oh”

somewhat conflicted abt it for the entirety of the day,,, bois experiencing feels for u ofc its gonna take some time >.<

he didn’t get to talk to you all day though,,,,,, he was busy with his own events and you were elsewhere

either way,, when he saw you walking past in the gym he kind of lost focus

lost focus in that the ball was coming to him and he jumped to spike it but only had his eyes on you causing his aim to mess up and well,,

he hit his target

*your head*

and because he wasn’t focused, it wasn’t a “soft” spike like all the other ones hes been doing 

it was a full-blown sakusa kiyoomi spike

that hit your face

(;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

sakusa just went: ᶠᵘᶜᵏ

you saw stars,,,,,,,, and fell on ur bum

like a split second later, you heard a calm voice asking if you were ok. you muttered out a yeah and felt arms helping you up

one of them was your friend you were pretty sure, but the other one’s hands were too big to be any of your friends’

“let’s get you to the nurse,” the calm voice said again. 

“mkay,, thats probably.. a smart choice.. yeah….” and, vision still blurry, you were guided to the nurse by your friend and someone whose identity you weren’t sure of yet

sakusa was still standing there

all that, the spike hitting you, you falling, your being escorted to the clinic,,,,, that happened in like 2 seconds

he didn’t even have time to say anything yet

to make matters worse, some random ass guy was the one who came and swept you out of the gym

sure your friend was with you but to sakusa,,, that guy sus af

after they left, the game continued and sakusa rlly didn’t feel like playing anymore

he wanted to make sure you were okay and wanted to apologize 

however,,,, the teachers came in shortly after and told them it was time for the closing ceremony

throughout the entire thing, his eyes flit through the crowds looking for you

he couldn’t find you tho>:((

big sad

after the ceremony was over,, he went to the clinic but you weren’t there

then he just kinda,,, /slump/

figured he’d just pull you aside tmr and apologize then

except,,, tmr came and he still hadnt found a good time to pull you aside for a proper apology?? 

you were just so… busy.?

finally,, at around lunch after you finished eating, you kinda just sat with your friends and were talking and stuff when sakusa decided now would be an appropriate time to apologize

he walked up to you and asked if you two could talk in private for a bit

your friends shot glances at each other. he saw,, but he didnt let it bother him

anyways,, he led you out into the hall and in the softest tone he could manage he says, “about yesterday… i’m really sorry, spiked the ball a bit too hard.. how are you feeling?”

you tell him ur fine,, just that it aches a bit but nothing serious

he nods and mutters another ‘sorry..’

then this happened:

“no it’s ok you don’t have to be so sorry. accidents happen.”

“it wasn’t an accident tho..? so im sorry, it wont happen again.”

“yeah ok,, wAIT WHAT?? wdym not an accident?!?? u spiked the ball into my face on purpose?!?!!?!?”

“WHAT NO- ofc not. i just,,, i kind of lost focus… on other things… at the time… and yeah”

“????”

*sighs* “i was focused on you when you walked past and didn’t consciously control my aim or whatever and ended up spiking it into your face”

“?!?!?!??…. why were you focused on me??”

“cuz i like you dummy” /it slipped he didnt mean to say this/

“oh.... wAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?”

and that is the story of how sakusa confessed

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲 ` honestly think it would be better as a fic but uh,,, my lazy ass cant be bothered to write fics rn so uh,, hope this was good for now? lol might mess around and write one later tho.. maybe `

[diamondcamefromhell]

Cane

Kaz Brekker x fem!reader

A/N: play “guess whos back” on me because ayee, i am back, this time not with jaskier fic [sorry bby] but with... kaz brekker? whaa? so i am super late to the fandom but i read six of crows a couple of weeks ago and wanted to write an imagine with kaz x reader so.... vuioula?

oh and also HAVENT read crooked kingdom yet so no spoilers plz <333

Summary: y/n is part of the dregs, on good terms with kaz but when kaz gets a bit hurt things take a turn 

Warnings: swearing and leg injury [not grpahic at all]

word count:

FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED AND REQUESTS ARE OPEN BUT I MIGHT TAKE AWHILE TO GET TO THEM [open for all witcher and six of crows characters btw]

Kaz slipped on his gloves looking at me like I was a disgrace, but I began to wonder if that was is resting face. He seemed to look like that at nearly everyone. I flashed him my teeth in return.

“No need to glare, pretty boy.” He clicked his tongue at my nickname, which I knew for a fact he hated. Or pretended to hate.

“Get off my fucking wardrobe, Y/N.” I lift by brows in question, laying back down, or trying to do so as much as I could in the small space.

“I like it here.” I shoot a glance at Kaz, who just rolls his eyes, but I see a small curl forming on his lips. “I may be no Inej, but I like small spaces.”

“I know.” Kaz says almost softly, before he picks up his cane and pokes me in the legs. “But terrorize someone else, please.”

“Oh did our great Kaz Brekker just said please?” I tease, but however jump off his wardrobe. Kaz towers over me slightly, looking down now, leaning on his cane.

“Next time I will beat you with my cane.” I narrow my eyes, grinning.

“Ooh, scary.” I pat him on the shoulder, moving away before he actually beats me with his cane. His expression grows cold at the touch, but I ignore it. “Where are we headed?”

“I am going to see some friends.” Kaz says through his teeth, making it pretty clear I am not welcome.

“You don’t have friends, but alright, pretty boy.” I wink, heading for the door, but I stop for a moment before leaving. I shoot a glance at him and he raises his eyebrows. “Be careful, please.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” He says nonchalantly.

“You know I always will.” I whisper, leaving the room and slamming the door.

I decide to make my way to Jasper, jumping down the stairs to catch him gambling at the table. I glance at the group, already guessing he will lose. He sees me approaching and flashes me a smile. I wink in turn, looking around the room for more familiar faces.

I wish Nina were here. We got along great, even if she was relentless and insisted I have a crush on Kaz.

She may be right. But it wasn’t about that. It was about respect. Gratitude. It was about family.

Kaz makes his way downstairs, limping more than usual. Inej appears from nowhere and they exchange a few whispers before he leaves and the Suli girl looks at me.

“He’ll be fine, you know.” She says, approaching me. I believe her, but still feel uneasy.

“Do you think he would kill me if I followed him?” Inej laughs because the answer is blaringly obvious. I flush red.

“He would one thousand percent catch you. And be angry.” Inej takes my hand in hers. “And he will be fine. You don’t have to worry. It’s Kaz.”

“Bastard of the Barrel.” I mutter, pulling away. Inej’s face shadows but she forces a smile. I don’t respond. “I’m going to sleep.”

“It’s early.” I glance at Inej, already walking away.

“I’m tired.” I respond, stepping two steps at a time, rushing into a room they got let me stay in, falling face down on my bed.

Moments later I roll down off it, in the small tight space between the bed and the wall. Tight places make me feel safe. Not exposed. Hidden.

I had to hide too much as a child. It’s now forever in me.

You only wont get hurt if they don’t find you. If they don’t see you. If you make yourself so small, you disappear.

I slip into sleep, not sure for how long, until my door flies open. I instinctively lower myself underneath my bed, until I recognize that the voice.

“Y/N!” Jasper. I roll from under the bed, meeting his gaze as he gets startled. Our eyes lock and he opens his mouth to speak. “It’s Kaz…”

I don’t wait for him to finish. I am on my feet, practically flying out of my room, my heart a few steps behind, lungs on fire, I go to his room, but he is not there. I slam the door behind me, sending myself flying down the stairs.

I lose my footing, falling ungracefully on my knees. My ankle seemingly catches fire but I don’t care, jumping on my feet, looking around, white noise ringing in my ears.

Kaz. Where is he?

I see Inej rush from the furthest corner of the room. Our eyes meet.

“Here.” She points, but as I try to rush past her into the other room, she catches me. “You need to calm down first.”

“Let me go.” I practically growl, but she holds me. I feel Jasper approach too.

“Breathe, for fucks sake.” Jasper says, shaking my shoulders from behind, and I let out a breathe that I didn’t even realize I was holding in.

“Kaz is fine.” Inej says, forcing me to look at her. “Just his leg got busted a little bit more. He will be fine. Nina is on her way.”

“Let me in.” I hiss, freeing myself from her grip, but she stands in front of the door.

“He said-“ I slam my hand next to her face. She doesn’t flinch and doesn’t move. We lock eyes.

“I don’t care.” I know she understands. I know she knows why I have to see him. She moves out of the way.

“Knock yourself out.” She says coldly. I give her a nod, before I twist the handle, pushing the door.

The room is lit up and I see Kaz in a chair, his leg lifted on another one. He has his eyes closed, holding his cane over his midriff. He doesn’t look at me when I close the door.

“I thought I made it clear I don’t want you hear.” Ouch. I cross my arms, glaring at him, even if he cant see.

“I thought you said you will be fine.” I respond and he looks at me, cold faced.

“I am fine.” I shake my head, approaching him. I sit on the ground, pulling knees to my chest. A comfortable distance away, so he doesn’t kick me if I piss him off.

“That scared the shit out of me.” I whisper, closing my eyes. “When Jasper came in my room and just said your name and when Inej stopped me. I thought you died.”

“Why should it matter if I died? It doesn’t change your debt. Your life.” I snicker at his words.

“Yeah. My life would totally be the same if you died, Kaz.” I hate that I cant hide the shaking. I hate that he probably sees me as a weak woman. As a weak person. Someone childish and immature. But I cant stop acting like that. Even now, when he is hurt.

“People would still take care of you.” I glance up at him just as he looks down to me. “If that’s what you worried about. The Dregs have your back.”

“There are no Dregs without you.” I say, but he scoffs.

“Whatever.” I sigh, standing up. My ankle kills me suddenly, and I grab his chair to steady myself. “Are you alright?”

“Whatever.” I say, looking at him. “Why should it matter if I am hurt? Your life is the same.”

“Not if you don’t pay your debt.” He says and I am taken back. I stare at him, stone faced, sitting there without a care of the world. Only kruge. All he needs is kruge.

“Fuck you, Kaz.” I breathe out, stepping back, limping.

“You too, Y/N.” Doors behind my back open and I can only assume it’s Nina.

I don’t say a word. I turn around, not even saying hi, I leave the room. I limp past Inej and Jasper. They don’t try to stop me. I limp out of the building into the dark streets of Ketterdam.

I breathe in the air, not sure where to go. I needed to air out my emotions. To be away from everyone.

I wanted to be alone. To hide. Make myself feel small. Invisible.

Seemed that is what I will always be. Only seen for what people need of me, not who I am.

But then again, who am I?

I go to the Fifth Harbour. I know its not safe. I know its dumb. But I don’t care.

Luckily, I get there without any trouble. I go behind some crates and fishing nets stacked against one of the buildings. I squeeze myself in, make myself invisible between two crates. I throw the net over the top.

Sky looks like its made from puzzle pieces now. Nothing is connected. All scattered, all a mess.

I close my eyes.

“Im such a fucking child.” I say to myself, quietly. “I cant handle rejection like an adult.”

I lean back breathing in the salty air. I can barely move. It makes me feel safe. I focus on that. How I am squeezed in. How I feel.

How it proves I am alive. I am real. I matter.

I don’t realize how I fall asleep, softly crying, but when I wake, the sun is already high in the sky. My entire body is stiff from being squeezed in one position all night. Everything hurts and I can barely open my eyes.

I try to stand, but the pain in the ankle stabs me and send me back to the ground, with the net tangling around me. A wave of panic rushes over me as I try to get it off, only making matters worse.

I stop and breathe, trying to calm down, until I hear someone knocking on a crate nearby. Something towers over me, blocking the sun.

I open my eyes to see Kaz looking down to me. A smallest hint of relief runs past his face for a moment, but then he is back to being cold.

“Need a hand?” He asks, tapping the cane on the crate again. I glare at him, tears burning my eyes. I shake my head. “Alright.”

He moves away, the sun blinding me again. I don’t hear him walk away, so I know he is still standing there. Probably mocking me. Great.

I get the net off myself this time. Lift myself despite my body screaming at me. Just a moment later I am standing in front of him and our eyes meet again.

I limp past him, he silently walks behind.

“Told you I am fine.” He speaks, and I hear him double tap his cane. “As good as I was before.”

“Good.” I say, not slowing down. “Glad to hear that.”

“Nina is back at Crow Club to help you.” Kaz says again and this time I glance back. He isn’t looking at me, but more at the people passing us.

“Okay.” I slow down as my ankle is killing me now, limping even more. I don’t want Kaz to see me like this. Everything hurt. “I know the way.”

“Just keeping you safe.” He says calmly, and I know he expected me to protest.

“I don’t need you to keep me safe.” I say quietly and the man just sighs.

I stop for a moment, next to some other crates, leaning against them. Kaz catches up to me, blocking the sun again. I look at him.

“Am I really just walking kruge for you?” I ask, breathing heavily. “Not a walking, breathing and feeling human being?”

“You are barely walking.” He says, glancing at my ankle.

“Don’t ignore my question.” I say harshly.

“Don’t ask stupid questions.” We glare at each other, and I push myself up and walk again, though visibly way more slowly than before. This time Kaz stays by my side.

“At least I wont bother you anymore. I wont be able to climb that fucking wardrobe anytime soon.”

“Nina will patch you up and you will be there in no time, Y/N.” Kaz doesn’t sound fazed yet again, as if he thought all of this out already.

“I’m clearly not welcome.” I whisper, looking ahead. Tears prick my eyes but I will break another ankle before I let Kaz see me cry over him. “And I need to work harder to pay my debt off.”

“Not being welcome never stopped you before.” I glare at him.

“Thanks.”

We walk in silence. Or move at a snails speed. I try to fasten myself, but it seems like I will eat dirt before that happens. Kaz doesn’t seem fazed.

He also doesn���t seem to be limping as much.

We make it away from the docks, and he stops, and I follow suit. I sit down on the ground, breathing heavily. He stares seemingly into the abyss.

“Why do you care about me?” He asks and I scoff.

“Not here to boost your ego, pretty boy.” I say, rolling my eyes.

“It’s not about that.” He responds with sadness in his voice.

“Because you are the first person who cared about me. Even if it was out of kruge. You are the first person who made me feel not small.” I say in one breath as he looks at me, his expression unreadable. “I want you to do that for yourself too. You wont allow anyone else to help you, I want you to help yourself. I want to be here when that happens. I want to make sure you are here to see that happen.”

“Thank you.” He says so quietly I almost don’t catch that.

I smile to the ground until his gloved hand reaches out to me. I take it, standing up. Then the unexpected happens.

Kaz gives me his cane. I stare at it as if it’s a bomb.

“You need it.” I say, but Kaz shakes his head.

“You need it more, Y/N.” When I don’t move, he shoves it in my hand anyway. “I insist.”

I use his cane, wondering if this is the closest I will ever get to him. His cane feels like an extension of him. And he lend it to me.

We make the rest of the way without stopping or talking, once we enter the building a few pairs of eyes shoot to the cane in my hands and to the empty handed Kaz next to me.

Everyone is smarter than to say something, though.

Nina rushes to me, getting me to sit. Then she proceeds to scold me for walking on my hurt ankle. I sit there, apologising and nodding and thanking her as everyone watches us.

I glance at Kaz who is grinning at the sight.

He leaves though, going back to his room. Nina finishes and only then I realize I am still clutching his cane. I excuse myself from her and go up the stairs while grisha stares at me.

My ankle is way better but I’m still limping and she told me to rest.

I don’t bother knocking, I just limp in and he lifts his head from the table, looking at me.

“Your cane.” I say, putting it on the table.

“Oh right.” He says, looking at it. “How’s your leg?”

“Better now. Thank you.” I say, smiling. “And sorry for being a child.”

“I am glad you are like that. Means you are more than just kruge.” I flush. “You are a person.”

“Does that mean when I get better I can climb your wardrobe?” He rolls his eyes, though smiling.

“Fuck off.” I laugh.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

[ivyuns]

love me in a year ✰❆♣♞

bang chan

genre: angst, fluff 

word count: 2.4k

warnings: kidnapping, restraints, y/n gets pregnant, grinding, drowning, weapons, a bit suggestive. if i missed anything lol oops

A/N: another shet show + from 365 dni (the ending isnt exactly like the movie btw)

for my gurlieeeee + happy birthday to @stanstraykidswoo​ <3

masterlist

mafialeader!bangchan x fem!reader

enjoying the summer breeze on the islands of hawaii, next to your friend made you feel relaxed. from all the work and stress you did, you finally earned yourself a vacation.

“babe!”

opening your eyes, you see your boyfriend (in a unhappy relationship) walks towards you. taking off your glasses and sitting up next to the pool, waiting what your boyfriend had to tell you. “i just got back from seeing the volcanoes babe! you shouldve seen it-” “we were supposed to go look at it together, dumbass” you cut your boyfriend off.

“w-wait y/n-” running away before he said anything, you got lost in a dark area. wasnt just sunny? seeing a group of guys look at you while trying to come closer. damn these outfits. your outfit consist of a short flowy, off the shoulder dress with heels. running with shaky legs, you looked around and saw everything get dark.

“are you lost babygirl?”

waking up in a soft bed, you look over and look at the unfamiliar room youre in. “where am i?” you whispered softly. walking towards a door to the hallway, the door wont budge open. shaking the door knob, it still wont burst open. giving up, you go lay back down on the bed.

closing your eyes to relax, you hear the door unlocking. quickly putting on your heels, you open the door and see nobody. following to which ever door took you, it seem endless. the endless numbers of stairs and doors you went though, you came across to a massive painting of a portrait of yourself hanging on the dinning room’s wall.

“oh my god”

continuing to follow where your legs take you, you were yanked away from seeking to your freedom. “are you lost babygirl?”. feeling someones presence behind you, you see a man. someone who you never seen.

“who are you and what do you want from me” you say and slowly back away from him. “chris is the name. you see, five years ago, i saw you on a beach. then suddenly i got shot and all i could think was you. these pass five years, ive been trying to find you and now” chris pauses his sentence and walks to a cup of ice, making you suck on it. “now i have you”

spitting the ice out, you got angry. “so what? you think kidnapping me is some kind of way to have me?” chris gets angry after your tone of your voice you gave him. he pushes you on a chair and chokes you lightly.

“i will give you 365 days to make you fall in love with me. and if that doesnt work, i will release you.” chris slowly lets go of your neck and continues talking. “i promise i will not touch you without your permission.”

chris gets interrupt by his phone. reaching his pocket, he sees his mafia friend who works with him calling him for help in the front. running to where to meet him at, you gave a few minutes before running on your feet again, trying to escape.

finally outside with a big open field in front of you, where you will be free. running, you stop midway as you see chris kill a man. witnessing what happened, you pass out due to pressure from everything.

-

the next morning, you wake up in the same room before but a whole different dress on you and a shirtless chris sitting in a chair in front of you. “let me out of here now” you shouted at him. “i need to get back to my family, my boyfriend!”. “you really think he still loves you? take a look at this” chris says and throws a small stack of pictures. pictures of him fucking another girl.

“a-are you serious?”

“yes im serious. oh and we’ll be leaving this place tomorrow. be ready” chris says and exits the room. “where are we going?” you quickly grab his wrist and stops. “to australia”

landing and going to the hotel. chris stops you and gives you the keycard to your room. “my room is next to yours if you need me”. nodding your head a yes, you enter your room and place your bags down and sighed. what is happening right now.

chris walks out of his room to see you look like a goddess. “y/n” chris calls out. turning around, chris grins with his dimples showing and grabbing your hand to head to the place you two are meeting with. chris opens the passenger door for you and makes his way to the drivers seat after youre in. while driving, he places his hands on your thigh, making you want more of him. avoiding his hand, you close your eyes.

arriving at your destination, it turns out to a bar. entering the bar, chris leads you to a room. seeing people, you hide behind chris bc youre antisocial as fuck

“y/n, this is aeyeong. ayeong meet-” “y/n. yes i know her name” aeyeong says, looking at you then back to chris, seducing him. “you know y/n, me and chris used to talk.” walking up to you. “and fucked each other” aeyeongs whispers into your ear. feeling chris wrap his hands around yours, you push him away and left the room.

“this happened a long time ago-” feeling tense, chris was about to turn and find you til aeyeong grabbed his wrist. “i thought you said we would last forever hm? took you long enough to find her. even of all our messages.” aeyeong grabs her phone and pulls up their naked bodies in photos. sexting.

“enough aeyeong.” chris grabs her phone and throws it onto the floor. running out of the room to look for you, leaving aeyeong to laugh.

-

“mr bang!”

chris turns around and sees his partner running to him. “y-y/n. shes with aeyeongs boss. i just got a call from him-” “shut the fuck up and tell me which room” “room 325.”

chris runs to room 325 and sees you grind on the boss. “y/n” chris growls. not paying attention to chris, you feel aeyeong’s boss grope your ass and suddenly putting a knife towards your neck.

suddenly feeling someone pull you away from the man and unable seeing things, chris and the rest of his members pulls out their weapon.

opening your eyes and see yourself on a yacht, you walk around and find chris. seeing chris talk shit about you to his other partner. “she just really had to run away-”

“im sorry chris” you spoke out. chris turns around and tells his partner to leave for a moment. “this is all your fault. youre the one who left the room and potentially tried to seduce him. do you not know what he couldve done?”

arguing on the boat and heading to the railings, you slip off and fall into the water. panicking, chris falls into the water and saves you. taking you out of the water and goes to lay you down on the bed and stands by your side.

a few minutes later, you wake up with water coming out of your mouth, coughing. chris turns around and goes to you with worried eyes. “y/n, i-im sorry. please dont leave me, i need you” chris softly says and strokes your hair with tears starting to fall down his cheeks.

lifting your weak hands up to caress his cheeks, you pushed him down and began kissing him roughly. regretting as soon as you saw the red in his eyes. “so now you want it?” chris growls and begins to attack you with kisses and hickies. feeling your clothes ripped away from you.

a few weeks later, youre back in korea. chris leaves you for the day, saying he has business to attend to and will call you later. but hours flew by and still didnt have any calls. sighing, you call your best friend, minyeong who yells at you though the speakers after the first ring.

“are you kidding me y/n? you cant just leave me behind at hawaii?!”

“i know i know, ill explain if you come over”

after she hears you say the sentence, she hangs up and runs to your place. opening the door for her, she starts speaking nonsense and you just laughing at her.

“y/n, this is serious. stop laughing and tell me what happened.”

sitting down next to her, you tell her everything. even when you love him back. minyeong at first didnt like what chris did to you and what his job it, but you beg her for you to have happiness atlas. with minyeong wanting you to be the happiest, you two go to the bar.

feeling someones eyes on you, you told minyeong you were going to the restrooms as she continues dancing. almost at the door, someone slams you onto the wall. “y/n, baby. i missed you so much. im sorry-” feeling tears streaming as you remember the past events and pictures. you forced him to let go of you and run back to your place.

he follows you back to your apartment without you noticing and as you take a seat with his loud voice scares you. “baby please” he goes closer to you and tries to kiss you until a voice rang.

“im pretty sure she wants you to leave”

he looks at chris then back to you then slaps you. “you fucking whore. youve been cheating on me when you left me didnt you” shaking your head a no and the tears uncontrollably falling as you try to shield yourself from another slap.

receiving nothing, you look up and see chris holding his wrist to prevent him from hitting you. “if theres someone else who was cheating is you. now leave you fucker” chris whispers in his ears and runs away.

chris looks down and sees your shaking figure. he goes next to you and wraps his arms around you so you can start feel calm. reaching to that point, chris picks you up and lays you on the bed.

slowly kissing you from your lips to your chest. chris begins undressing you til you stop him. unbuttoning his top, you see the semi open wound from his business. grazing your fingers over it as you hear chris slightly whimper.

“chris, im in love with you”

chris smiles widely. “im in love with you too”. you two continue the heavy make out which turns into a passionate sex for you both.

waking up with you on chris’ chest, you feel him showing a smile. he turns to the nightstand and grabs something small but worthy.

“y/n l/n, would you please marry me?”

nodding your head yes a bunch of times, you kiss chris on the lips.

-

heading back to hawaii, youre back into the palace where chris kept you in. waking up from your slumber, you go outside and talk to chris. chris sees you and tells his partner that he’ll be right back.

“hey hey babygirl, what happened? you alright?” chris leaves his seat to go to you as you start feeling shitty. “chris, i dont feel goo-” your eyes are shut closed and almost falls on the hard concrete til chris caught you.

“c-changbin! help!” chris yells out to whoever is out. your lips are slowly turning pale. changbin runs to chris with a blanket to cover your cold body and helps him carry you to the car. changbin speeds to the hospital with chris’ tears falling onto you, holding your hands and kissing the back of it. “please be okay, please please” chris whispers.

changbin parks at the emergency lot and chris grabs your body and puts you on the stretcher as the nurses sees you two. “please save her” the nurses all nodded their head and disappeared into the doors with a chris on the floor, sobbing his heart out, praying for you to be okay.

-

finally hours passed by and chris was left alone as he told changbin to go back to the palace. eyes all red and puffy with his legs shaking, full of anxiety. “mr bang?” the doctors call out chris. he stands up too quickly, making him almost loose his balance but the doctor helps him balance for a few seconds. thanking him, he follows the doctor to your room.

chris runs to your side as he sees your eyes open, with all type of wires attached to you. “y/n baby are you okay?”. nodding yes with a small smile, chris looks at the doctor.

“it looks like miss y/n was 1 month pregnant. and also looks like she wasnt taking care of herself either so mr bang, do y/n a favor and help not only her, but the baby”

you and chris nod your head, understanding as the doctor leaves you two. chris turns into his soft self. “i love you” he giggles. “i love you too chris”. scooting further away from him, you pat on the empty spot on the bed for him. chris smiles widely and goes to lay down next to you. you fall asleep from the warmth of your fiance as he hugs you. “and i love you too baby” he whispers and puts his free hand on your growing stomach. kissing your head and falling asleep next to the love of his life.

END <3

[alreadyblondenow]

King Taeyong | 2

Taeyong x ballerina!reader // SMUT, FLUFF, angst, fantasy!au Summary: Lee Taeyong is slowly changing your life making you happier that you could ever be. He made you happy but you didn’t know why he left you without saying a word. Will he come back?  Word Count: 4k Warnings: Unprotected sex and whole lot of filth lol but not too much, swearing, insecurity, mentions of other idols, pairing of other idols but not too much  Note: The fantasy part will take part next chapter hihi enjoy the filth in this chapter. And Jaehyun is here hihi Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

You welcomed Lee Taeyong in your life without any hesitation and it is the best decision you made. Your apartment is slowly having life, pictures of you and Taeyong scattered on every corner as if its a reminder that you have him and that you’re not dreaming, his things are neatly stacked on his small space in your apartment, you wear his clothes almost everyday because they’re really comfortable.

A normal day with Taeyong goes like this: You wake up from a great fuck from last night, you cuddle in bed in the morning still sore from fucking and if you’re lucky enough he will fuck you before breakfast, you make him a heavy breakfast he makes you good coffee, he tries to tie your hair but fails everyday and tells you he will get it right someday.

Slowly you meet people in his life, and he tells you about his company and what he really does at work when he’s not with you. Finding out that Taeyong builds schools and children’s home makes your heart bursts into happiness because you know his heart is genuine and true. You met Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny you think that all four of them are really handsome.

One morning while he was trying to tie your hair, he told you that he needs to be gone for a few days because of work and the thought of not seeing him even just for a day is already heavy for you. “I understand, but how long?” you turned to face him, your hair is still a mess.

“I dont know actually. This might take a while.” he can feel your sadness already so he hugged you from behind and peppered you with kisses. “I’ll make it up to you when I got back. I promise.” You smiled and told him you understand his line of work, you told him to come grocery shopping with you and have dinner tonight before he leaves, he agrees.

When you got back from the grocery store with Taeyong, a man almost looked like a prince is waiting for you outside your apartment. You were surprised and you almost dropped the bag that you’re carrying.

“Jaehyun”

He turned around and smiled at you flashing those cute dimples. He helped you with the grocery bags and you hugged him tightly cupping his face telling him you missed him so much and that its been a long time. Jaehyun has purple hair now, and you noticed and complements his white skin and you told him he looks handsome than ever. Taeyong clears his throat and was waiting for you to introduce the man to him. He almost got jealous.

“Oh I’m sorry. Taeyong, this is Jaehyun. My childhood friend-“

“And her future husband” Jaehyun offers his right hand for a shake and mocking smile.

Taeyong is now jealous. He shakes Jaehyun’s hand nonetheless. “Very funny Jaehyun we both know that’s impossible” you but in and invited him inside.

Jaehyun noticed your apartment changed a lot, he saw the pictures of you and Taeyong almost annoyed seeing Taeyong’s face everywhere. To be honest Jaehyun was not pleased about Taeyong and they’re both giving each other hard glances the whole dinner time. Jaehyun smells trouble all over Taeyong but he can’t say that to you because you never listen to him.

“So Jae, what brings you here?” you asked him finally fixing him a plate of pasta. “Well, you dont visit nowadays? Is there something wrong?” Jaehyun answered with a concerned tone, little did he know you’re far from being sad because Taeyong makes you happy.

“Well maybe if you watch her perform you would know that she’s busy doing what she loves” Taeyong answered for you, not removing his eyes on Jaehyun.

“Y/n,” he points at Taeyong across the table, “another hookup? you never learn” that hurt, you thought. But you cant be mad to Jaehyun, you’re sure he didn’t mean it. Taeyong on the other hand is just looking at you as if he’s waiting for you to defend him from Jaehyun.

To be honest you don’t know Taeyong’s role in your life but one thing is for sure, he’s the one who makes you happy every single day, he changed your life. On second thought, yeah Taeyong what are we? You turned to Jaehyun and gave him a cold look, “Jaehyun, be nice.”

Jaehyun drinks his glass of wine in one chug and stands up from where he’s seated, leans on the table both of his arms supporting him and looks at Taeyong. “A lot of assholes already left in that door and I know them all. They never stayed because they’re too dumb to know y/n’s worth.” he walks towards your door and collects his jacket ready to leave.

“Oh btw. If she says no fucking tonight. She means it. That shit really hurts her down there. Hope you don’t fuck her then let her dance the next day” and Jaehyun slams the door.

That hurt Taeyong the most because he didn’t know. He didn’t know because you never told him and it made you guilty. Clearly Jaehyun knew you too well to know those kinds of stuff about you, Taeyong thought. His mind wonders about your relationship with Jaehyun but he sees you upset already.

You cleared the table and stayed silent the whole night. You didn’t know how to face Taeyong or where to start to explaining. You were scared that Taeyong might be angry with you and that he will leave tomorrow morning angry. That will hurt your feelings more than anything and you will never forgive Jaehyun if that happens. But just like Jaehyun, Taeyong knows what you feel in his own way. And now he knows you’re hurt, he hugged you from behind while you dry the plates and stayed there for a while.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t  know” Taeyong whispered. It melts your heart because he didn’t do anything wrong and you cant explain it to him because you’re ashamed.

“Baby, I dont know what to say right now. It hurts, yes. But that shit is normal. Every other girl who gets a good fuck knows that” you explained almost looking like you’re angry but you’re not.

“Just please…From now on, you will tell me okay?” he used it again. That tone that will make you follow him whatever it is that he’s telling you to do. It’s that tone that makes you follow him without arguing further. Then everything is okay again. Jaehyun is stupid, you thought.

You feel the familiar soft kisses on your nape, slowly going down to the sides of your neck and it feels so good you can feel all the tension leave your body the moment Taeyong kisses you softly. You turned around and encircled your arms around his neck giving sweet kisses that he deserves.

“I’m sorry about Jaehyun” you said in between kissing him, “I know I have a lot of explaining to do” you add. He slips hand inside your shirt and draw small circles behind your back. “Explain later. For now, let’s enjoy the time we have, please. He already took a lot of my time with you” Taeyong walks you to your bedroom, kissing you nonstop whispering your praises.

It was raining outside, thunders here and there but you know Taeyong will keep you warm for the night, he always does. He will leave after breakfast tomorrow and you dont want to waste even a second with him.

Already both naked and ready for a good fuck, you can feel that he’s already hesitating on having sex with you because of what Jaehyun told him earlier. Trying to get him naked, you initiate and made the first move telling him, “baby, its okay. Fuck me good like you normally do” you tell him in between wet kisses.

You kiss him deeply letting him know that it’s okay to touch you. Guiding his hands all over your body where he feels good, he whispers sweet things to you saying that you’re in good hands and that he’s not going to leave like the other jerks. That familiar heat creeps in your body already, the heat only Taeyong could provide.

It was a slow start but you make sure that tonight everything is okay. He was standing beside your bed and you’re sitting on the edge, spreading your legs wide for him and kissing him hungrily. You reached for his hand, kissed it and sucked two fingers and made him finger you while you sit on the edge of the bed. You grind slowly on his fingers, you almost looked filthy in your own eyes but Taeyong deserves this. Putting yourself on edge in front of him while looking him in the eye, you make sweet moans that turns him on.

In his eyes, you look so beautiful and hot with parted lips and grinding in front of him while his fingers fucks you. That was enough head start to make him hard and to drive him crazy. “It wont hurt me baby” you told him while pulling him to bed and make him hover you feeling his soft flawless skin.

And so he did. He kissed the insides of your thighs wetting it with his spit. Intertwining his hands to with yours so you could grip it whenever you feel good. Lining his cock in your pussy, teasing you enough to make you shudder beneath him. You asked him again to fuck you hard like he usually do, telling him again and again thats its okay. You smile while you moan and moan while he tease your pussy, looking at him directly in his eyes because he’s so handsome.

“Baby stop doing that. I’ll cum. You’re driving me crazy.” He whispers in your ear and that made you both chuckle. He grips your boobs making you gasps, pinching your sensitive nipples. Soon the small laugh you both let out turned in to groans and long moans. He enters you slowly, feeling your walls and savouring it. Pulling his cock back and smirked in front of you. Seeing you how fucked up you are right now makes him hard even more.

He did it again, and again to make you crazy. Taeyong’s cock was not inside you fully he’s doing it on purpose. “Not yet.” He’s always like that you thought, he’s saving the deep thrust for later.

“Can you wait a little more?” he whispers beside you again making you frustrated already. But he pushes inside without telling you, slow and deep. You let out a louder moan than earlier. “Tae... what the fuck” is all you can say on how good he feels right now. He let out a small laugh starting to fuck you already, no more playing games. You peeked down there and you saw how Taeyong’s cock enters you slowly, his big cock goes inside you smoothly. “Can’t believe that can fit inside me Tae” you managed to tell him with short breaths and you closed your eyes trying to feel and savour the feeling, you hear him pant.

A loud smack echoed in the room, you opened your eyes and sharply moaned when his hand slaps your ass. He did it several times, making you wetter than ever his thrusts going smoother because of your juices. He turned you on your side and lifted your right leg, the new positions makes you dizzy in a good way. Soft kisses planted on your lifted leg but his cock demands attention, “fuck Tae! Hmm - baby, you found my spot!” You cum when he looks at you in the eye full of love and lust at the same time. You’re lost in his eyes.

After your first orgasm, he pulls out and kissed you as if he’s saying, ‘take a rest’ but instead he said “First of many for tonight babe” while catching his breath. Kissing you deeply, cock still inside, that means he’s prepping you for another round. “Can I fuck you from behind?” He asked so sweetly, you can only nod feeling tired and sleepy.

Fucking from behind is your favorite position, it feels good but it’s intimate and wild at the same time. As he fucks you from behind you, Taeyong gave you multiple orgasms already, your legs are wide open for a better angle and he fucks you deeper than earlier. He fucks so good while whispering sweet things behind you, it helps you cum so fast you lost count how many orgasms you have already.

He’s cupping your breast and playing with your hard nipples and pushing a finger in on your clit and just let him do whatever he wants to you while you come down from your previous orgasm. Spreading your legs wide for him, waiting for you to come down from your high, he licks your dripping cunt from behind, slowly like eating ice cream. You shiver, you feel your legs being weak. He felt that you’re already tired but he wants to do something you will never forget even when you wake up in the morning.

Still high from the last orgasm, nerves still sensitive from overstimulation. He lays you flat on the mattress again giving you wet kisses on your chest and grinds on your pussy occasionally, not fully putting his cock inside. As usual.

“Baby I can feel that you’re tired already” he whispers in your ear nibbling your earlobe. You feel his cock poke your pussy and it surprises you how he’s hard again. He teases your entrance while devouring your neck, still so wet and you feel him making a move again as he spreads your legs preparing you for another round but you’re really tired you cant even talk. You pant and you almost push Taeyong away as a sign that you cant take it anymore, that it’s already too much but he has other plans.

He has a smirk on his face and you can see that he’s tired too but hes pushing. Knowing that you can’t talk, he made you a deal while he fingers your pussy slowly, letting out a whine as he makes you listen to him. For every question that will be left un answered he will continue fucking you senseless and hard. But if you gather your strength and answer his questions immediately, he will slow down and will stop fucking you.

“Ready? Don’t disappoint me now. We’ve come so far” He fingers you while watching you so fucked up beneath him, legs spreading wide waiting for his question.

He’s enjoying this.

Taeyong stopped fingering you and grabbed his cock, the tip of his cock is ready to enter you and he grinds softly so you both dont have rest from the sensation that hes giving.

“What do you want......-“ he slams in you groaning how good feel around his cock again, giving you hard thrusts already. “ for breakfast?” he continues the question.

You really cant compose your sentence because of the way he’s fucking you hard, your breasts are bouncing up and down because of his quick thrusts. You cant even think of a meal for breakfast but you force yourself to answer, “ eggs...oh fuck-“ hes not satisfied, “with bacon and - Taeyong!” You pant and let out heavy breaths, you cant hardly finish your sentence.

“You want me for breakfast?” He chuckled and fucks you hard still.

“Eggs...!” You pant, “ bacon... avo...cado, bread! AAH!” You moan hard and tried to grasp anything form the bed.

“Good” he responds, reducing the way he fucks you for the mean time but still not stopping. “Last question.” He said while he thumbs your clit too. Leaning towards you and kissing you hard, wet kisses on your neck.

“Will you be my girlfriend? Be mine?” he asked, you can hear his pants and deep moans letting you know he’s almost there. Even though he’s fucking you and the both of you are already tired and worked up, you still see how he patiently waits for your answer. Hoping you would say yes.

And with that question, he instantly fucks you slow and good. As if turning everything whats happening into love making in just a second. You were really surprised with how good he fucks you right now and knowing the situation, it put you in tears.

You were crying already, letting out sweet moans, you just want to cum. But the question. Oh the question. You want to say yes but you’re reaching your edge and in any second you will reach your climax for nth time tonight.

Forcing yourself to let out an airy “yes” that he didn’t catch, he’s not stopping and it makes you even crazy. Why aren’t you stopping.

“Baby?” He leans in on you giving you soft kisses while he thrust slow and deep, holding and intertwining both of your hands above your head feeling the fluffy pillows.

“Be with me forever?” He asked again.

“Yes!” You answered almost a scream, letting out a loud moan. You both reached your high and he stopped thrusting immediately, his cock still inside you. Showering you kisses all over your face because of happiness. Taeyong gathered his strength and pulled out. Cleaning every inch of your body, careful not to make you shiver with his touch. Chanting his apologies for being rough. You didn’t want him to say sorry because you were happy for everything he made you feel tonight.

“I love you” you reached for his face, “Lee Taeyong”

Both of you cant sleep even though you’re both tired. You made coffee and finally talked about what happened earlier during dinner, you offered a massage because you can feel that he’s exhausted. Stealing kisses on his soft skin when you can.  

“So... Jaehyun “ Taeyong looks to you while sipping his hot coffee kissing your hands on his shoulders. “Oh right well, one thing is for sure he’s not a threat or anything. He’s just overprotective because we had a history” you explained while continuing to massage him.

“Uh huh. And what kind of history is that?” He comes closer to you, making you stop from what you were doing.

You explained that Jaehyun is family, his family is close to your family for as long as you could remember. And that one day he decided to fall in love you but you dont feel the same way. His mother and your mother likes the idea of the two of you being together, so they kind of forced you and Jaehyun to have a relationship. Your mother suggested to give Jaehyun a chance because he’s a nice guy and he’s a perfect husband material. You agreed but you really dont have feelings for him and that you see Jaehyun as a brother. As you move in for college, Jaehyun volunteered to take care of you while you’re away from home. He took care of you most of the time so you decided to give it a shot. You were a senior by the time you and Jaehyun had sex for the first time. He was your first.

“So thats why he knows how your body works! That-“ you cut him off with a kiss before he even finish his sentence.

“We were young and crazy that time please understand. And you know how senior year stresses your life out.”

No I never went to college, Im a King. Taeyong thought. But he just shook his head and let out a loud sigh.

“We only have each other by that time, I help him study he takes care of me. We went out for some time. But it never worked out between us because I really don’t feel anything for him” you kissed Taeyong and snuggled beside him, “and that was a long time ago Taeyong....He’s married now” you let out a small laugh and looked at him, his face completely in shock. “He’s just protective because I’ve been with guys that aren’t nice enough to stay for breakfast.”

Taeyong feels sorry what he did earlier. If he only knew… but he still wanted to punch Jaehyun in the face for making him feel like shit in front of you earlier.

“What time are you going to leave? The sun is almost out now.” You asked, playing with the softness of his hands. “In an hour” you hummed acknowledging him and just looking at the sky through the window. “I know a place where we can see beautiful sunrise while holding each other like this. One day I’ll bring you there.” Taeyong softly whispers behind you.

Taeyong left for his business trip and you feel lonelier than ever but you thought it’s fine, he will come back. And that it’s for you to stop thinking that one day he will leave you.  He told you to go to his office every time you feel lonely and Doyoung, Yuta and Johnny can keep you company. It pains you to see Taeyong leave.

You cary on with your life, did daily routine without Taeyong and you miss him more everyday.

2 weeks

Still no Taeyong.

Someone rang the doorbell, you only hope it was Taeyong but it’s just amazon.

1 month

It’s been a month since he left, you already cannot believe this was happening. You check if meeting Taeyong was only a dream but no, he’s 100% real. Happy pictures of you and him are scattered around your apartment and his things are nicely placed. Where are you?

Christmas season

It’s Christmas eve and you went home to your family. Hoping to spend Christmas with Taeyong was too much you thought. Your plan on introducing Taeyong to your parents is cancelled and it pains you more because he’s been a really big part of your life already.

You and Jaehyun had wine and enjoyed Christmas eve with your family and his family. Seeing Jaehyun and Jinsoul happily married makes your heart at ease for you know that Jaehyun is in good hands and that love is real, and someday you’ll find yours. Being home makes you happy and alive, you just cant be alone and spend Christmas in your apartment full off good memories with Taeyong.

“Im surprised you didn’t bring him” Jaehyun broke the silence. “He has a business trip” is all you can say because thats all you know. He sincerely apologised about what happened last time and you said that it was fine, you got hurt but you told him you know he’s just being protective. “Damn right I am.” He said while laughing, he told you that they’ve been trying to have a baby and for some reason, Jinsoul just cant get pregnant. “Jae... Im happy for you!” You clap your hands and told him to just hang in there and just try and try.

“Merry Christmas y/n” and you greeted him back.

Taeyong. Come back please. You let out a whisper while looking at the snow outside, wondering where Taeyong is now.

He missed Christmas, New years, your birthday, and Valentines. You thought, enough is enough and that you waited long enough for him. “business trip my ass” you said while putting everything that reminds you of him in a box. You fixed your apartment and you asked Jaehyun to redecorate it with you.

“Im sorry I asked you to redecorate my apartment on your birthday” you apologised while you push the cart around, looking for stuff you need for your apartment. “Its okay! Im not doing anything today. Me and Jinsoul celebrate in advance don’t worry. My wife is busy at work so we cant celebrate today.” You feel sorry for Jaehyun but you told him at least he has you and he can celebrate with you instead.

Sage green walls, new couch, pictures of you and your friends... you love the new look of your apartment all thanks to Jaehyun for the help.

You baked a cake for him and he was really happy about it. “Just like the old times” he said and he ate a big piece and starts moaning telling you how good the cake is. “I think you should start your own bakery” Jaehyun suggests. Its not a bad idea, now that you’re resting from dance, its not so bad to start baking again. “Yeah I think, I will” you said to Jaehyun.

“Hows everything with the baby.... making?” You asked Jaehyun awkwardly while eating a spoonful of cake.

“Still not good. I’m starting to worry actually, but she had a check up... actually we both did, and the doctor said there’s nothing wrong us. Its just maybe, due to the stress?” Jaehyun let out a sigh getting more cake.

He went home pretty late after finishing three bottles of wine with you, leaving you and your new apartment all alone. It doesn’t feel so lonely anymore you thought, or maybe it’s because of the alcohol. But whatever the reason is, you’re ready to move forward and just forget about Taeyong.

Months passed by, you focus on doing what you love, baking. You took extra baking classes to feed your soul and passion more, and you take big risks to make your dream of having a small bakery come true. When you’re not baking or not learning, you make sure to spend time with your family and friends. No more hook ups. Not because you’re still waiting on Taeyong, but because you’re tired of having temporary relationships that wastes your time. Good thing your cakes are selling pretty good and you have baking to make you happy.

Life is finally better. You learned that self love comes first always and the rest will follow. Being alone made you happy in life more.

Until one day you were taking a rest while you’re waiting for your cupcakes to cool down, the doorbell rang expecting it to be Jaehyun.

Without looking through the peephole, you opened the door with a smile hoping to see your best friend’s beautiful dimples. But all you can see is flowers, an arrangement of beautiful flowers almost as big as the man carrying it.

Wrong flower delivery you guessed. He puts down the flowers and it was someone you know. And it was not Jaehyun.

“Y/n...”

You closed the door with a loud bang not wanting to believe who just appeared in your doorstep. Suddenly all the happy memories came back, rushing in your brain all at once, remembering how you’ve been so hurt while waiting for him to come back.

Taeyong knocks again not saying anything. You didn’t have a choice and you let Taeyong inside your apartment. Gathering all your strength to say that you want to end this relationship or whatever it is that you both have, you just want to live peacefully. --------------------------- It just so happens that Taeyong is away in real life for now. huhuhu 

[mostlikelyshutup]

thoughts while watching the first harry potter:

listen i started this list a little late im ngl but notable thoughts so far are me thinking of dumbledore as a gay idiot and still loving hagrid

do you think hes speaking in parseltongue in the zoo when hes speaking to the snake

forgot boats existed

these idiots do scream a lot dont they

i forgot how light hearted this universe really is in the first couple movies

yer a wizard harry, okay hagrid maybe slide him into it a little better

we get it tuney you have fucking trauma, doesnt mean you should abuse a child

hasnt everyone had their name down since they were born, hagrid? theres a list

i like that his umbrella is pink

are you paying for those damages hargid? stop taking the door off the hinges

though, if the dursleys are, keep breaking shit

speaking about dragons on the the fucking tube, its a miracle harry didnt get in trouble with the ministry sooner

what is hagrid's usual? does anyone know???

fucking Quirrell, cant wait for your epic love story with the dark lord

maybe we should tell the 12 year old how the fuck everyone knows his name, just maybe

they do a great job of getting the wonder down pat

how much money and licensing do you think it took for them to get all these owls on set

ahh yes, antisemitism the bank

how many vaults are in gringotts?? also if harry's vault is the potters vault, a literal like sacred 28 family, one of the original families, and its number 600 something, how many were there before the potters?? did the potters get a vault recently? or is this james and lily's vault?? how rich were james and lily if so??

look at ollivander, crazy tinker uncle, love him

this might be the socialist in me but why do people have to pay for wands if everyone needs one??

why is the dark lords twin wand just sitting around on the shelf, ollie me boy??

do you think thats Harry's true wand or do you think thats because of the horcux thing?? do you harry had to get another wand after he died?? did he? i dont remember the last movie

is ollie me boys actor wearing contacts or are his eyes just like that??

thats a very weird way of showing Halloween 81, very misleading

hagrid said ill predict voldys rise in the first movie so we can have some plot development

hagrid is late to everything isnt he? i can feel it in my bones

i swear ive seen these movies, and ive even read the first book, i just dont remember shit

youd think theyd have someone in the know stationed close to the entrance for the platform, for any muggleborns

ginnys actress really had no fucking lines in this movie did she, just had to stand there

oh wait she said good luck

amazing work ginny

ooh a warm filter

can muggles see the express? like just running from london to scotland

wicked!

you didnt have to show the woman the sad sandwich ron

i think the trolly replenishes magically, i think thats how thats how that works, i want to believe that

god i cant tell if i would love or hate hermione, shes pretentious but so was i at that age

god dont fucking point your wand right in someones face mione

how does mione know who harry is?? why does she care?

look at the tiny first years, might just go and pinch theyre cheeks

MINNIEEEE i love you minnie

looking stunning minnie, the green brings out the sternness in your brow

you go minnie, give your speech, thats my head of house

shut up draco, youre not bond

you pretentious fuckwit, your hair is brassy anyways

if this is a class of kids born in the middle of a war, how big are the usual class sizes wtf

THE FUCKING CLAP

fucking propaganda ron, you slytherin hater

what order are these names going in, did they just randomized the list

oooh we get quiet for the boy who lived, jesus let him keep living

the fact that for the rest of these people its just silent is so fucking funny to me, Harry's just fucking whispering to himself

get their attention minnie

me dads a muggle, mums a witch, bit of a shock for him when he found out

NICK, love to see you buddy

i have no emotional attachment to peeves but i feel i should mention him here

the stairs still piss me off, why the fuck would you make moving stair cases

who sets out gloves for the next day? am i the weird one who doesnt??

Minnie, you are the love of my life

shut up snape you dramatic bloodpurist incel

i know theyre setting him up to be mistaken as the villain but jesus christ hes still an asshole

your robes Neville, you forgot your robes

its weird how they have to learn all these latin charms yet only have to say up to get their brooms to work

why wont you go after him, hes obviously not exactly in control, Hooch

does Hooch only teach first years? she is quite literally the equivalent of a history teacher who coaches football

what the fuck is Quirells classroom

they dont make the house teams because no first years can try out, Ron

MINNIE PLAYED QUIDDITCH?!?!? WHY DIDN'T I KNOW THIS

why didnt you speak up earlier Mione wtf

bc the fire wont give you away, harry, better hide

FLUFFY, WHOS A GOOD BOY

they have much worse things locked up in the school, Ron

Oliver wood is a bloody liar because i still dont fuckign understand quidditch, also theres like 500 rules, wtf

thats a shitty explanation of how the game works, Oliver

BLOW IT UP SEAMUS

SHES TWO FEET BEHIND YOU RON YOU IDIOT

carrot cake? on halloween?

dont shrug as if you didnt literally bully her ron

thought youd oughta know, bit of an understatement Quirell

no duh the trolls left the dungeon ron

lying: the best start to any friendship

we're at a net zero points for gryffindor for the year at the moment

the amount of interaction these kids have with professors is so weird to me, is this what small class size do to kids?? its weird

not comforting Oliver

Okay i understand Oliver simps now, I get it okay

are there no backups or subs for quidditch? feels like there should be, like of all the games

set him on fire mione, i know hes not the villain of the movie but god he sucks

fancy flying from harry fucking potter

okay but also i feel like there are some things we should not trust hagrid with, like hes not that great at keeping secrets

why is harry excited about christmas if he thinks hes not getting presents? i knw there are other aspects but like thats the only reasont o get up early

i always remember this scene at night for some reason??

not just an invisibility cloak, THE invisibility cloak ron

btw who gives it to harry? is it remus? is it dumbledore? is it like an inheritance thing? whats up with that?

there are jumpscares in harry potter

he very much can hide, filch

stop being a narc mrs norris

does harry even know what his parents look like at this point? how does he know who the fuck is in the mirror of erised?? he doesnt have that stupid scrapbook yet does he

oh they nod, sure lets clear up that plot hole

they shouldve put sirius and remus in the mirror in that scene, shown his whole family, wouldve been a nice setup

how does rupert grint already look so tired as a twelve year old

big speech to give to a twelve year old Dumbledore, when you wont even tell him what you see

Emma really does just slam that book on Daniels hand, thats mustve fucking sucked

the fact that ive watched two movies that had Nicholas Flamel in two very different roles this year is very strange to me

well thats probably on account of it being a fucking dragon egg hagrid, now isnt it?

was hagrid a hufflepuff? i think he was, maybe a ravenclaw

yes four, you blonde idiot

that shot is really nice, it sets them apart

what happened to filch to make him such a miserable man?

ooh mention of werewolves, awooo werewolves of london

yeah just dip your whole hand in hagrid, dont be scared of the strange liquid, take a nice little bath

i loev that dog, i want that dog, i want to hug that dog

god just the look of that forest is so bloody cool

wait so is that quirell walking fucking backwards?

maybe ask who the fuck youre talking to before asking other questions??? wtf harry

why are yout talking to the centaur like hes your old friend harry, youve literally never met him before

snape doesnt want the stone at all Harry

god hagrid you sweet stupid man

snape is completely valid for that, if a twelve year old ever looked at me like that i would punch them

Do you think people ever loose invisibility cloaks? like theyre invisible do you think they ever just never get found again

i hate the look of the dog spit, that is so gross

they really left everything in except for the fucking potions didnt they, damn

harry potter walked so queens gambit could run

hermione, posted up

rons stupid in the later movies because he got a concussion as a twelve year old

god harry really posted up to beat up snape in fucking khakis

"I knew you were a danger to me!" Hes twelve, Quirell

let me wait for this weird dude to unravel his head scarf instead of running away

the magic in this movie is real fucking conditional isnt it

just some casual necromancy for the stone? you sure about that voldy, you two faced bitch?

let me choke out this twelve year old real quick

oh yeah why is he able to just avengers endgame Quirell? is there an answer to that? like was that ever found out

do you think voldy passing by him while he hold the stone actually killed him but since he holds the stone hes functionally unkillable and then some magic gets put into him and thats why he can return to life later when he actually goes to the whole afterlife place?

ohhh we're vouching on the blood magic for the endgaming of Quirell

do you think dumbledore came across the vomit flavored bean before or after his sister died?

Mione's got a headband! Looking snazzy!

how did Hufflepuff only get 352 points? Gryffindor literally lost 150 points this year and they only beat them by 50, wtf, is it because they kept getting caught with weed

I wont even speak on the fucking outrage that is this point awarding, its already been spoken on. However, Neville shouldve gotten more points

What if someone just stood up and started challenging Dumbledores math, that would be so funny

some of these extras are really attractive

but james potter is somehow so fucking ugly why did they do that to my mans

hagrid deserves the last shot of this film, i love him, he deserves everything, that stupid sweet man

[reneereadskingdomofash]

Thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash

Ok, I’m writing some thoughts on the Ships in Kingdom of Ash. I’ve jumped onto a few posts, but I feel like I’m probably not being clear because well, I talk to people outside of those posts via different channels and so people aren’t getting the full picture. 

Not that this matters of course, the internet and tumblr is only a snapshot, but I wanted to write some clear thoughts on the Ships and how I am feeling about them before/during/and now two weeks after having finished the book. 1. perspectives change. 2. Reading other peoples thoughts that might enhance our own understanding happens too. **SPOILERS BELOW CUT**

Rowaelin

Before Koa: Yes, I dig it. Empire of Storms was their peak love story! Heir of Fire gave me all the Angst - love and hate, falling in love with the trainer, Queen of Shadows gave me my reunion and happiness to fight the bad guys and Empire of Storms gave me the sexy times. The Ship had sailed. Then Maeve came in Empire of Storms. And I was worried for my ship, but only because I was worried for the individual parts of the whole. What happens if they die! What happens if Aelin isn’t who she was. What happens to them! they deserve a happily ever after. *insert renee crying lots at the end of Empire of Storms* 

During Koa: I was scared. Aelin wasn’t who she was. Rowan was loosing himself in the hunt for her. What was this new thing between Fenrys and her and Rowan was on the outs? What did this mean? Why couldn't she talk? Where was my Aelin!!! Aelin had hardened and I was scared, and Rowan was scared and it made me think - she’s going to die and i’m going to cry. Then Aneille happened and Aelin almost came back. She was as close to the old Aelin as I think was possible given the trauma that she went through. Rowan didn’t care. He would have loved her anyway. Such a pure ship. And then they go on to save the world. Once Aelin had forged the lock, I wasn’t scared for her anymore. I didn’t think she might die, I didn’t think Rowan would either. The lock felt like it was the start of their happy ending. Sure lots of stuff to go on but the ship was good. 

After Koa: Same feelings. I still love Rowaelin. But I got to experience their journey over 4 books! It was satisfying in that they had page time but it didn't detract from the story. So When I’m not enthusiastic about Rowaelin - Its not because I don’t love them, I’ve just been with them a long time. There wasn’t any doubt in my mind that they would be ok. 

Elorcan (aka the ship I wanted to sail more than any other)

Before  Koa: I was scared. I feel so hard into this ship when I read Empire of Storms. And then when I re-read it before KoA I fell harder. I loved Lorcan from the start. A grumpy demi-fae, who is the most powerful, who seems angry, who doesn’t show emotions, who would do anything for his friends. (sure misguided sometimes - but that’s what it boils down to). He came to Rowan’s aid in Heir of Fire. He came for his friend. Not his general. He didn’t have time for Aelin - some mortal girl who people had an interest in. It wasn’t why he came. People who know me - know I have been cheering for Lorcan the past two years. That he’s going to show this side of himself. My morally grey Lorcan. And then Queen of Shadows and Empire of Storms happened. Oh man. Elide, my witch baby standing up for those who cant do it for themselves! She took on Vernon for Kaltain, she is bad-ass! She is the my love just as Lorcan is my love. I’m so torn I love them both. Its a good thing they found each other. Anyway. Elide stands up to him, she fights for herself and others. She protects him and he does the same back. So I love them. Elide threw herself in front of a wolf (Fenrys to save him!) And When Lorcan called for Maeve - my heart sank. Lorcan u big Dummy! I love you but come on! And then the theories started. and I wrote some too. Maybe if I think of the worst possible thing that can happen and put it out into the world it wont happen. Like jinxing the bad stuff. Lorcan “SALVATERRE” savior of lands- does that mean he will sacrifice himself??? Honestly my biggest fear going in. 

During  Koa: Kingdom of Ash was a roller-coaster for my ship. I was so invested in everything they did. I paid way too much attention to their sections than other ships. - honestly I skim read nestaq scenes (who I love). which is bad I know. but elorcan for life apparently.  And Lorcan was being sneaky and trying to help Elide be comfortable (sure more period talk but what ever) because he had been traveling with her for months and months and knew she needed stuff. He shows love by doing. Not always doing the right thing (his decision making skills need work) - but he tries. Elide was a bitch at the start. Just going to say it. Sure she might have been justified, but sometimes you don’t need to voice all the nasty things in your head. And I got mad at her. Then she basically said she wouldn’t care if Lorcan died. And his heart broke and my heart broke and I was upset and probably crying.  AND THEN THE BATTLE OF ANEILLE HAPPENED AND I CRIED!!! AND I SCREAMED AT MY BOOK. Direct quote from my notes: “ P500 - NOT HAPPY! Lorcan!!!! OMG NOT HAPPY! LORCAN JUST DROPPED HIS SHEILDS - fucking egg! Omg ahhh! Crap. Crap crap.”  I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have dropped his shields if Elide hadn’t said such horrible things to him and he didn’t feel like he needed to die. So I was mad, fucking live you dork. Its just a girl! I ship you two, but if You are both going to be Dorks then I don’t!  So when Elide went to go find him I was like - OMG YES U DO LOVE HIM... direct quote from my notes:  “ I'm crying .... Elide- "I will always find you", running down the stairs... oh it hurts.... please please be ok ....  Ahhh she grabbed chaols horse! A horse for Hellas himself... ahh Lol and then that's explained a couple of pages over Lorcan!!!(517) "Get up" :sobbing emojis: "I promised to always find you. I promised you, and you promised me. I came for you because of it; I am here because of it. I am here for you, do you understand? And if we don't get onto that horse now, we won't stand a chance against that dam. We will die." P 520 :more sobbing emojis: Omg :more sobbing emojis: You have to let me go I love you And I will be with you.... I will be with you always :more sobbing emojis: Lorcan Omg Fucking hell And elide! Yes! You claw at him girl!! That dam! Oof Omg my ship - you are killing me “

Honestly. Such a Rollercoaster. So as you can see I was invested. and then they seemed to tentatively get over each other and what happened and proceeded to get cuter and cuter as the book went on and just gave me warm fuzzies and happiness. 

After Koa: I love this ship. I would die for this ship. Fight me! - oh majority of fandom also Like my ship now... cool cool. that’s cool. guess we cool.

Manorian

Before Koa: I dig it. Its alright. Manon eats men for breakfast so Dorian has a little bit of a death wish but I can see that playfulness, that bond from living a similar life. Heirs in name only, for the longest time. I appreciated it, but wasn't strongly invested. I had picked my OTP already. Still enjoy this ship tho - just less invested.

During Koa: I really liked the tentative relationship between Manon and Dorian. I have so many notes about how I think he is a witch tho - so those stand out in my notes more than ship points. I liked that they shared a tent when Manon never did. I liked that Dorian spent time with the 13 developing friendships. It showed that he wanted to know Manon, more than just for sex. But it also cannot be denied that they like sex and used it to avoid talking. That happens in relationships too - not necessarily bad. Its one of the things I actually like about SJM’s ships they aren’t cookie cutter relationships. But I did feel like both Manon and Dorian chose the mission over the relationship (For Now) which is fine too btw. In life we might take a job in a different city and do long distance and still come back to each other. I think Dorian lying to Manon on their last night together by omission is a little sucky. But again. relationships have ups and downs. I’m glad it kinda ended there. Sure they come back together, But I like that its left open. Firstly because they have had the ship burn in flames - their isn’t an “unhappy” ending... the story is still playing out. We just cut away before seeing the end. 

After Koa: Wow ok. So people have lots of thoughts on this ship and maybe I should have been paying attention. Why don’t people like it open ended... ok? maybe its a loose end but there is still a book to come (the world of throne of glass) and sure its not a novel about Aelin. This doesn't mean it wont tell us about the encyclopedic history or Ardarlan and the Witch kingdom and how both are run by people who are seeing each other. A certain boy who knows how to use portals to get from one place to the other quickly - doesn't seem like living on opposite sides on the continent is going to be a problem.... maybe that’s just the optimist in me. If they have children - a girl to rule the wastes and a boy to be king. Seems like an amazing fit. I’d really like to see this happen tbh, but this takes time and time KoA didn’t have in the pages - but - maybe - the world of throne of glass will.  

Chaorian

Before Koa: Ahh cute - they had their love story i’m happy!

During Koa: Damn I love Yrene. Shes the best. Chaol, you are ok too - but Yrene has your back and is the light relief in your life. Chaol you are too serious - listen to your wife.

After Koa: awwww little wittle chaorene babies. awwwwww daddy Chaol. awww  uncle Dorian. <3 <3 so many warm fuzzies.

Nestaq

Before Koa: I ship them so Hard OMG SARTAQ I LOVE YOU. You are a way better fit for Nesryn than Chaol. Man i’m glad she met you. 

During Koa: oof Sartaq why u gotta have a Khagan hat on - you are so serious. Good thing Borte is there. 

After Koa: Nesryn has no idea what she is in for - Can I please get more Yeran and Borte. Still love Nestaq - but I understand the peak of their story was in Tower of Dawn. 

Lysaedion

Before Koa: Oh Man you two. The end of Empire of Storms - Aedion you are a dick! Why! Why! Oh you better just be mad and make it up to her. You love her dang it, you wanted to marry her! Argh. I don’t know how to feel, I like them together - but what is this past Aedion has? What is coming. I don’t want to get my hopes up. 

During Koa: Aedion! Aedion! What! Are! you! doing!

I’m so mad at Aedion right now. You better apologise.

Its so complicated to break down. But basically Aedion is being an A-hole to Lysandra and she doesn’t deserve it. She is running herself into the ground and you do that! Aedion! I’m so conflicted, why are you a good dad to Evangeline but an awful person to Lys! AHHH AEDION STOP! 

After Koa: I still don’t know how to break down this relationship. It sets off so many red flags for me. - About how someone can be a great dad but an awful partner.  - About how someone can be abusive essentially but explain away their actions. - About how other people stand by and watch, when they see this behavior. - About how it is all “circumstances”. 

Now - I think its fine for people to work through things and overcome their problems if they want to but that takes time. What Aedion did in Kingdom of Ash did not make me think he should have been able to win Lysandra back as quickly as he did near the end of the book. And it hurts. However I know people in real life who have gone back to people who have treated them badly. So its not uncommon. It is their decision. It just hurts. 

Part of me wants them to get a divorce and I’ve made a couple of joke-ish statements about that. But I could have been on Lysaedion’s side if it had a similar ending to Manorian. If it was left hanging, left on a - lets see where this goes. War does strange things to people, and I think Aedion was affected more than others, but he needs to prove he isn’t going to be the man who threw Lysandra out into the cold. In my eyes at least. 

I have prob left ships out, and thoughts out but this is a lot of writing for me that’s not counting towards my nanowrimo - hahaha. 

[mentalsims]

sadly, a callout post that i really didnt want to do but eh

just a forewarning, if you’re cool with pixelatedmuffins (lyn) thats fine with me... if not, just dont... bully her even though she lied... not in the mood but this was necessary. this her discord btw for the people confused lowkey -> Ms. Alpaca#4911

just a small summary of what im about to cover in this post:

how she’s putting words in my mouth when i aint say none of those things

how she knows what she is doing

and how she keeps talking and bashing my name behind my back yet i havent said a damn thing about her

enjoy the tea my friends

okay first off, hello hey. 

welcome to sipping tea with me 

imma summarize everything as best as i can so this post wont be long af (its still long af)

okay... this all started over a fallout between her (pixelatedmuffins/lyn) and my girlfriend... a ship breakup to be specific. lyn wasnt listening and was putting words in my friends mouth yada yada. yeah... so she decides to message me to see where me and her stand for some reason

then she left our ship channel that she made...

ngl i was irritated at the fact that she still kept... assuming things. its a pet peeve of mine (fun irrelevant fact). it got annoying and i ended the conversation tbh. 

theen she messages me

and i texted this back

i realized she blocked me after i was being honest about how i felt and yep.

so i was like fuck it. she’s mad.. ill let her calm down. then i got a notification from her tumblr saying that she made a post (its deleted now). she pretty much was subbing me... i didnt get a screenshot of it before she deleted it but it pretty much was about “you cant be a people pleaser when the people dont appreciate getting pleased” or whatever. so i confronted her because she was honestly talking about me.

i sent that. kept it real af. (imma get to the tea soon. i promise) but remember this post above. just keep it in mind

anywho... so i went on twitter and shit right, to check if she was still talking about me... and she was

so i confronted that ass again because ion play that

petty ik but it was how i felt. the next morning i got check to see if she replied

nope.

mhmm...so i was over it completely. moved on and blocked her ass back on all her accounts with no hesitation

then my lovely... best friend came thru and told me some shit that irritated tf outta me... the girl talking shit about me... lies at that

she straight up was talking about me and said straight fucking lies...

so let me point out the bullshit she was typing

number 1: i never called her out of her name (look at the screenshots yourself) nor have i talked about her.

number 2: this gone be an interactive game lmao (the tumblr message yall) where... in the living fuck, did i call her a bad mom?? or!! did i say that “i hope your baby live”??  maybe im blind like dora football head ass because i cant see it anywhere.

im just saying... but thanks to my best friend again, she help snoop and found some more bullshit

imma address every muthafuckin thang wrong in this shit

number fucking 1: she highkey called me a pedophile when she knows and all my motherfucking friends fucking know that im not. me and my girlfriend(16) got to-fucking-gether when she was 16 and i was 18. thats honestly normal (and i should out her fucking age gap with her fiance but im nice) and on top of that, me and said gf never did anything sexual or anything of that nature. dead ass. me and her live in two completely different states and i never visit nor has she.

number fucking 2: she did put words in my mouth (look at the screenshots yall) and i never said that she was doing that for that reason. she keeps switching shit up and removing evidence. point blank obvious

number fucking 3: i never call her ass a liar. i called her immature for subbing me instead of talking to me like a grown adult she’s supposed to fucking be. (twitter screenshots)

number muthafuckin 4: where in the flying fuck did i say “i hope your baby lives” ???? like bitch where

anywho, i got irritated lmao my bad. my friend then exposed lyn on them lies because i showed her screenshots. keepin it 100. (note: lyn did  not have screenshots. just saying) so after my friend exposed what she was doing, this is what lyn said

pretty. much. saying. that. shes. fucking. lying. 

she has no receipts, no evidence, not a damn thing but her pity party craving ass imagination. 

im done... imma say is this, if that immature ass adult talks about me again, its on and popping. idgaf. she keeps trying to ruining my name and reputation for no reason.

but thats the tea. sorry for the long ass post yall.

enjoy yall’s day/night 

[cheap-spirits]

Hi todays been shit. This is what went wrong.

First its just me and my brother looking after the two dogs all week but hes staying at my dads tonight tomorrow and Wednesday cause its just easier for work. This means i have to give up my precious sleep to walk the dogs at fucking 6:30am. In autumn. In scotland. ITS COLD AS FUCK AND WET AND MUDDY. EW.

So i took them out this morning and it was fine compared to the rest of today.

We (the dogs and i) get back home and i chill out for a bit before i get ready (highlight of the day tbh)

So i get ready for school and start the 5-10 minute walk. I was thinking how lucky i am to live close to school and how i wont have to walk across muddy grass and slip (cause i have no balance and i slip every year on mud without fail...several times a year) then suddenly, i step on what appeared to be a seemingly innocent water cover thing, like a plastic square cover on the pavement. I go to walk on as i had been for the past couple minutes my foot slides and i go down. Face first. I genuinely thought i broke a rib cause i couldnt breathe for what felt like 5 minutes.

As i sit there trying to catch my breath, i try to assess the situation. Is my knee sore? Yeah but not too bad considering. Is my back sore? Nah not really. Is my chest sore? A little but i can walk it off.

I thought i was fine

I got up, brushed the dirt off my clothes and carry on. Make it to school with plenty time to have a chat before reg started.

Then I remember, i have higher modern studies for two hours. And were starting a new topic.

As i struggle through the lesson, barely paying attention to my insane teacher, its finally break. Fairly uneventful.

Break ends and i now have study for two hours. Me and my friends make our way to the study room and take our seats. It starts off like any other with someone signing us all in and someone else grabbing us all laptops. The first hour passes, a couple laughs, a little concentration, a lot of moaning that were tired and sick off school. Then i feel it. A tight pain in my right knee.

I dont realise how bad it really is until we stand up 10 minutes early for lunch to head to asda to get there before the rest of the school. I can barely fucking walk. I hobble up to asda and say to myself “it cant get much worse than it already is!”

I need to learn from my mistakes tbh

So ive been working on a mock court thing for the past few weeks. Its been a total shambles from start to finish. Only me and my one friend has done any of the work in our group and we were supposed to be in actual court on thurday. 3 days time. My friend and i cant make it. The group is screwed. So back to today, we had a meeting at lunch to see what the everloving fuck we can do to salvage our reputation. Two people dont show up. The two people who were moaning to me and my friend last week saying we were completely underprepared. Safe to say i was pissed off. My friend was pissed off. My modern teacher was pissed off. (Shes running it btw) so our teacher gets really pissy and shit, i actually cant remember what she was saying i just know i was getting pissed off.

Lunch ends and i have a decision to make. Go to PE for two hours and suffer through the pain in my knee or just go home.

I obviously go home, but not until after i go down the stairs from the main teaching block to the gym hall and realise i cant fucking walk.

So i get home and chill with my dogs, naturally. I got home early so i didnt need to take them for a walk for a few more hours which gave me time to rest.

It starts to absolutely chuck it down outside, just as i was about to take the dogs out, so i wait about 10 minutes until it stops. I realise that this is gonna be one of the only times i can go without it raining today.

We get outside and usually, the dogs like to take their time before they do their business. Today they seemed to realise something was coming. We make it to the park where theres a short circuit they normally walk around twice a day. Today they poo and turn back home. Instantly.

Who am i to judge my dogs? I don’t particularly want to walk either, so just as i decide were just gonna head home, it starts.

It was such heavy rain that within seconds i was soaked through my hoddie and my dogs were dripping wet.

I try and get home as fast as i can but its too late. Were so wet. We get in and get dried before my brother comes home from work an hour later.

Him being the gentleman he is, he takes the dogs out on an actual walk considering i cant fucking move now.

A few hours go by, uneventful, all i do is watch youtube, a blissful end to a shitty day? Almost.

The dogs needed to be taken out once more before bed, things were going too well. I get their leads on fine, make it down the stairs without falling.

We get outside and one collar breaks.

OF FUCKING COURSE IT BREAKS WHY WOULDNT IT BREAK WHEN IM HOME ALONE WITH NO MONEY TO BUY A NEW ONE AT HALF TEN AT NIGHT

Luckily we had a spare collar but it was fucking massive, so to get it to fit her theres a massive loop that dangles so she’s currently naked cause im scared she’ll strangle herself or my other dog during the night and with my luck today that probably would’ve happened

Well, that was my disastrous day, hope you had a better day and im sorry this was so long xx

TL:DR ive just had a really shitty day its actually funny how bad its been

[electronicdelusionstarlight]

oh give me a break, so adrien can have a love interest but marinette cant have luka? i understand marinette should get more arcs centering her interests and family rather than another 'adrien', but who's to say we wont get that too? Why do they have to be mutually exclusive? And believe it or not there are people who actually want to see and know more about Kagami and Luka and many other side plot-forwarding characters outside of being the "evil rivals".

part 2. I don’t get the purpose complaining if the character’s only there to serve one plot-line. Kagami’s the same, sadly. Marinette was already jealous. Regardless of whether she was introduced with a certain mystery to her, or if her relationship with Adrien is slower paced, at the end of the day, that’s all she and Luka will be. Rivals with charming personalties.

Had you bothered to read most of my comments about the issue you would have surelly noticed that, no, the issue isn’t Marinette getting a Love Interest or Adrien being allowed to get one, the Issue is that, between the two characters’ general introductions and general whatnots, Marinette’s potential love interest is not only comparably worse than Adrien’s, along with worse written and worse introduced, BUT that I am also open to the idea of Marinette getting another potential love interest, as long as it’s age appropriate (This regarding to eventual Gabriel Fuckers) and Well Fucking Written.

I’ve been saying this since the fucking start. Marinette can date whoever the fuck she wants as long as, since, you know, this is a show we’re watching and stuff, narrative cohesion is respected and the eventual love interest not only didn’t have lackluster characterization and introductions, but also deserved said spot as eventual love interest by virtue of being a bloody character first and foremost, instead of a cardboard cutout with mascara on the main character suddenly starts drooling on with the approving glances of the supporting cast, no better than a third rate goddamn relationship sue.

And, btw, this is, what, a 25+ minutes episode based series? There is no time for other arcs or characters . Arrow, which was a 1 hour episodes based series, barely had the time to keep up with all his characters and arcs, and even that wasn’t helped by idiotic or overbearing arcs we could have frankly do without. Luka and Marinette “sweeping love story”, so to speak, can still eat up enough screen time to prevent better rewarding or more fulfilling shit to appear, like, let’s say…

Nino. Or Better Arcs. Or more lore related stuff. What about an actual, honest to god, legit Chloe redemption arc instead of the shit we’re about to be served (apparently).

And, sorry, I hadn’t realize there were people out there stanning the guy. I mean, it’s not like fan arts and fics either involving him, him and Marinette, or him and Adrien and Marinette (Because clearly, they looked at each other once, Adrien OBVIOUSLY is also crushing on him, I mean, after all, Luka is dancing with them in the music video, this CLEARLY puts this 9 minutes of life character on the same level as the main characters, he OBVIOUSLY earned it), I mean, what news you’ve just given me, it’s not like the fucker is everywhere or something.

This news about people equally tanning Kagami, tho… This is real news to me. I mean, it’s not like Luka already has 240+ fanfiction on Ao3 against Kagami’s barely 89, it’s not like we can see the same disparity with characters like, let’s say, Bridgette and Felix, where one of the MYSTERIOUSLY has more Fanfictions involving them than the other, I’m sure all of this is just one big fucking coincidence, right?

And again, for the 12th time, stop trying to lump Kagami and Luka in the same mold. Kagami, who, yes, is still supposed to be a eventual love interest, was also way better introduced and flashed out than Luka. Introductions of new characters later in the seasons can make or break said characters. You need to present them as complex, rounded characters (I.E. Kagami) before even hinting at the possibility of romantic involvement, and even that must be built on an already existing base of stuff.

Which, you know, is kinda important when it comes to characters we’ve been just introduced to. I mean, otherwise, you end up with this guy:

You know who this guy is? This guy is Luka. Only in Trollhunters. Same archetype, same role (I.E. Flirting with main female character for some reasons), same lackluster introduction, this despite the promise that he’s going to be more important later on in the spin offs, same. fucking. character. (Except that he didn’t get the girl, technically).

How come they hated him there? How come, when presented with the same character (Only with plot and characters bending head over backwards to accommodate him), I am supposed to have different reactions?

We need standards in what we watch, goddammit. We need to recognize when bad written characters appear on our screens, and we need to take a stand and say “No, fuck that, that’s dumb, this whole situation is dumb, why the hell are they even banging in the basement of this murder asylum? Dude is even possessed by a Japanese fox demon, that shouldn’t really get them in the mood. And why the fuck are they even dating now because of this, they met basically yesterday.”

Or something like that.

(Also, jealous? Jealous when? When she gave Adrien the point? When Kagami was, ya know, trying to kill him?).

(Also, bold of you to assume Luka has a personality).

[teachers-are-nerds]

why does my brain keep saying very loudly and rapidly “i want to die i want to die i want to die i want to fucking die” even though i absolutely do not want to die right now i dont even have the motivation to scream but i wonder if a solid scream would be cathartic

theres just so many things i need to complain about my heart is pounding so hard im in pain and im shaking and everything feels bad and i cant change my meds bc i cant contact my psychiatrist from france or like... more importantly figure out the logistics

i dont wanna go back to the states though bc gburg is probably gonna be hella toxic for me again even though my schedule for next year is super good and im super looking forward to it

why did i send home all of my sheet music and why didnt i send home my jackets holy wow that’s gonna be a lot of weight i cant pay for with the luggage on my way home

what if im not mentally ill enough for meds i know i have to change them bc at this moment i am NOT feeling helped by them but what if another med will make me even worse and what if i am actually just shitty at managing symptoms and how come everyone else seems to be able to manage or hide or work through their shit and i have to go and make a big fucking deal out of it all and i literally even wrote my prof like “hi btw ive been suicidal thats why i havent been in class” and that’s just using mental health as a fucking excuse it’s not like an hour and a half of sitting through a class from which i glean approximately nothing would actually kill me, as it were lol

i have to get the key to christine but that means 20 min walk home and 20 min walk back and maybe the sunlight will be good for me but i also need to write the other two pages of my paper that im obviously not doing now since im complaining and making a bajillion zillion posts all over social media lol it is a cry for help how come i cant make myself do the things i need to do im literally in physical pain because i cant make myself do the paper that was due an entire week ago !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how the actual fuck did i even graduate high school how did i fucking survive

well i mean i didnt drink in high school but i also got apx 3h of sleep a night so idk

im not drinking today though like i refuse to do that today bc money and also i need to just uhh not drink for a while because that’s what healthy people do. not day drink on weekdays.

i thought i was better abt that this year than last year but i guess not as much as i thought but at least im not sleeping in my friend’s bed every other night?? which is an improvement

god i fucking hate that i cut myself out of the queermmunity like that even though it’s better for me i just wish i did it in a more mature way im so fucking angry at myself im not even homesick at all i miss like 4 or 5 people from the states in total and i feel fucking awful that theres a bunch of people who will message me like “omg miss u” and i know i miss them too but like i feel like im lying when i respond “miss u 2″ and that isnt fair at all and i hate it i hate feeling like im lying to my friends i hate that i dont miss them i hate that this semester is supposedly the best semester of my life and i still have to convince myself not to step in front of a bus sometimes and i hate that The Brain Demons are clawing my stomach out from the inside but at least i havent purged in a while so there’s that and usually i can talk myself out of other self harm shit

and putting the content of my complaining post in the tags is to warn people if they read it but also it’s gonna make some people like OH NO UR IN DANGER LET ME READ THIS and i dont ?? i dont want that???????? but i also do???? good fucking lord i hate being such an attention whore

i hate that im a whore in general

like i dont regret any sexploits ive had whatever but i hate that i feel jealous of some people because i dont want to monopolize their lives and i dont want to prevent them from sharing love w other people i jsut want people to cuddle and kiss and be romantic with and it hurts but i also cant ocmplain abt it with my friends bc they also are like dammit i want a partner and me i have a few consistent sex partners but i want romantic partners but i need to change the people with whom i spend my time because they are not great for my mental health and i hate that bc i love them dearly but im destroying myself just in a different way from last year

the people i loved last year are driving me up a goddamn wall and i hate that i hate that i hate that so much bc i still care about them but im such an idiot i cant stand up for what feels right or against what feels wrong to me bc ill jsut get yelled at and i know that means i shouldnt be close to them im so hurting today

everything feels like too much and im shaking and still avoiding responsibilities and idk if writing this post is gonna get it out of my head enough bc on one hand i might tire myself out and not feel the need to write about it more to people and not have to bother them or like idk continue distracting conversations or maybe having people worry and try to talk to me will give me something to ignore so i can make myself write my paper idfk!!!!!!!!! but on the other hand uhh what if this is just going to make me fixate even more on my problems im screaming in sid e

oh ps im realizing that my family dynamic, while much much miuchn much much better than so fuckin many other people (feels conceited to say but im grateful for it and feel i cant or shouldnt talk abt it in case it triggers something in those with shitty home situations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) im recognizing that smth about the dynamic feels unstable as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what if i finish my paper, turn it in, sit for 20 minutes of class, go breathe, come back for the end

idfk othe rstudents need to talk to the prof too i cant monopolize him with the same content from my email to him and the same “i need help but idk what help i need” statement from last week or whatever

idk

idk idk idk will summer help me at all? will i live at home? will that be better or worse for me? can i remove all the materialism from my life? obv no but i feel i need to get rid of everything i own to cleanse myself of whatever and also i feel like cutting my own stomach and other organs out of myself but i obv cant and promise i wont try that lol

what work will i have or internships i dont have money i feel trapped will i hate myself forever will i be stuck in loops forever i will absolutely live long enough to find out and i will overcome things but like jesus chriiiiiiiiiiiiist im Not Good rn im sorry

yells

[singingpuddle]

My commentary whilst watching Buzzfeedblue’s “The Tragic Murder Of JonBenét Ramsey”

Yo. Here we go again. But before we begin, It hurts me to see a child on this show. So if I seem a little less jokey than usual, please understand.

Warning:

1. I ship them, if you don’t thats cool with me.

2. This post is super long

3. I long for the day I no longer have to cross out the boy in boyfriend when it comes to these two. this will be abundantly clear by the amount of times i do

4. After a little bit i will stop putting full names, so just know.

5.I recommend watching the video along with or before going through this post, because if you haven't seen it you will be lost.

R=Ryan and S=Shane

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Me: Well at least I know i’m not alone in my dislike for child murders.

Ryan: Heck no your not alone. What type of person would like that.

Shane & Me: *in unison* Child murders.

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Me: Soooo... what your telling me is.

R: Yes?

Me: Her dead body was found in the house

R: uh huh

Me:Eight hours after the ransom note was found

R: yes

Me: Yet there was a Ransom note?

R: Look I don’t get it either.

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Me: So autopsy says bludgeoning, Coroner says asphyxiation. I say both.

S: Both?

Me: Well maybe they tied her up or duct taped her then hit her over the head. To make sure she was dead they strangled her using a wire.

S: ah...that makes sense.

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Me: Oh no... please dont tell me she was raped. Please.

Me: Oh thank god.

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Me: Okay, Riddle me this. How does one leave footprints in one place but not another? Leave evidence, yet get away clean? Provide DNA but not be found? And enter a house, but not break in?

R: I once again find myself lacking answers.

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*S&R bickering like an old married couple*

S:(Is from Chicago) I know snow, you don’t know snow.

R: (California native) But it could have covered its self-

Me: (New York native) No... no it really couldn't.

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Me: First off, a “group of individuals that represent a small foreign faction” is about the weirdest thing I've ever heard. Like, are you a gang, are you a militia. Also, What the fuck are the Ramseys doing to deserve this kind of ransom note, if any. Like the party sounds concerned. “The delivery will be exhausting so I advise you to be well rested.” THE FUCK? 

S:Also the ransom is weirdly specfific.

Me: Im not even at the ransom yet. The person who wrote this letter is willing to have a flexible schedule. also It low-key sounds like the Ramseys are arms dealers or money launderers. Also as Shane said the ransom is an oddly specific number.

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Me: Come on Ry. We can all clearly see you think he is adorable. We see you.

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Me: I second this motion. 

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Side note: That mmm that Shane does reminds me highly of an interview with Alex Turner and Miles Kane. It sounded oddly flirty then and it sounds oddly flirty now. Like flirty in the sense that you know this person well enough to make the noise and not be judged. (Im sucking at explaining it I know) 

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Me: Okay... so this woman wanted her daughter dead? Because her immetiate response was to phone the police.

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Me: Let me pull out my TI-84. That means there is a *presses buttons and shit* 1% chance she wont die. Im liken those odds.

S: You are?

Me: No, Im pretending to be her mother, who decided to disregard the note and call the police right away.

S: Oh

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Me: MURDER LAPTOP!!!

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Me: Then wouldnt it seem logical if it was like a co-worker. Also the Inntials could have been a sentence and not a name. (S.B.T.C.) I used to do that alot when I was younger and wanted to pass noted with out getting caught. Use a sentence as a alias instead of a name.

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 *Cue the boyfriends lovingly bickering*

 Me: Daddy Dorkos

R: Don’t call me daddy please.

S: Good one, but yeah don’t call us daddy.

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Me: No shit sherlock. Whoever wanted that money was in the house, knew the family, and probably only left after killing JonBenét. They probably heard her mom call the police. Okay... that is creepy.

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Me: um... Shane. Do me a favor and don’t murder me.

S: Okie dokie, I won’t.

Me: ugh, i cant help but like you, you say okie dokie.

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Me: lookie here, I am dis-graphic and it constantly happens that i misspell easy words and get harder ones right. Its because i think more about the more difficult spelling. (for example, spellcheck fixed it but i misspelled constantly earlier but spelled dis-graphic correctly)

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S.B.T.C.: the practicde ransom note wasnt written in bubble letters it was in wingdings.

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Me: Nope the calculations arent adding up. Murder Laptop��� says its unlikely.

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S: *Cough* 

Me: Okay, I was wron about the order. they strangled her then bashed her brains in happy.

S: No, a little girl is dead. But i guess yeah.

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Me: Can you tell how uncomfortable and shook I am. I make fun of Ryan for being shook but he is a heka lot braver than me. aaaa... hold me tall lanky gay dad.

*Dallon Weekes, Miles Kane, and Shane all hug me*

Me: I meant Shane but i’m glad you two are here also.

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Me: Why would anyone think it was her family. They have nothing to gain, plus if it was an accident the logical thing is to call the hospital instead of writing a fake ransom note.

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Me:Thats a bit too specific 

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Me: Look, It sounds creepy but he loved this little girl. It seems he loved her like a relitive. That glitter ment alot to him. I wouldnt be surprised if he saw her almost like a grandaughter. Asking for the glitter to be mixed with his ashes is a weird request but it probably means alot more to him then just glitter. It might represent the good in the world. So i am standing by this weird old man and his little girl glitter. I mean its not going to hurt anyone if the glitter is mixed with his ashes, is it?

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Me: He isn't. He obviously cared for this girl deeply. Not saying it wasn't creepy as shit, but i just don’t think he could ever bring himself to harm her. 

(I actually have a experience involving a neighbor that is really close to this one. He was like 36 and he took a shine to 8 year old me. He even asked me if i would marry him one day. It was creepy. But he would never hurt me, that i knew.) 

(I turned him down btw, i was creeped out by him back then too. But he wasn't a mean guy, just a little off.)

R: Well... that took an oddly personal turn. So this guy never laid a hand on you.

Me: Nope. He gave me a Betty Boop magnet once though.

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Me: Sound like our guy. TAKE HIM AWAY BOYS

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Me: See... that old glitter dude doesn't sound so bad now right.

S: I stand entirely corrected.

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Me: Shane... your moaning Ryan's name.

S: No i’m not.

Me: Keep this shit up and you guy might actually end up sleeping together.

S: Oh, shut up.

Me: Yes Mr... Are you keeping your last name when you two get married or taking his?

S: Im warning you.

Me: Shane Bergara, has a nice ring to it.

S: That’s it *chases me out of the room*

R: *Yelling after us* So i take it that’s a no to my proposal.

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Me: Dude... Hes they guy... lock this son of a bitch up.

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Me: BOY! HE IS GUILTY! Also this son of a bitch (sorry Mrs.Oliva nothing against you.) has issues.

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Me: THE FUCK! He is shady as shit. Why is it never that easy.

S: Its life.

Me: Its wrong, that’s what it is.

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Me: Why can we see his face?

S: Ugh... I remember this guy.

Me: Oh... that’s why.

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Me: Ok... so we got a confession. Why is this case unsloved??

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Me: Or when your friends start talking about their kinks. Because this about describes those conversations.

S: Wait what?

Me: Nothing. I said nothing

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Me: Look the return of Ryan’s Totally Hetero™ Im kinda turned on but i’m not gonna say anything face. We can all see that Shane knows what he is doing to his boyfriend, and is totally OK with it.

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Me: My theory of sombodsy who knew the family is really holding up isnt it. *feels a little throw up in mouth*

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Me: Excuse me while i projectile vomit in the corner.

S: Imma join you.

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Me: Of course she stayed there. That’s where you killed her you idiot.

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S: Ahh im super bummed out. *Looks at Ryan* I suddenly have the will to keep going and know I can make it through.

Me: *Coughing* Gay as shit.

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Me: DUH.

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Me: *yelling in the other room*

S: Im gonna go make sure she doesn’t rip someones head off.

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Me: How many times am I going to say duh.

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Me: Maybe he was being a Pedo somewhere else and confused the two girls. Excuse me while I go and throw up again.

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Me: Nice Totally Hetero™ i’m enamored with you eyes Shane.

*discussion continues”

S: “You don’t get prison you weirdo.”

Me: Why did he want to get arrested so bad? Did he want to get raped in jail or something?

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Me: *Flips a table* Ok... My bets on Gary. 

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S&Me: Feel the frustration

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Me: Well that was a roller coaster of emotion.

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Me: They are dating, I swear.

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This long ass post brought to you by:

These X-Files au Aesthetics by @drstdeer  

Original post here

 also Brought to you by: The Murder Laptop™

Link to video here

Link to Master post here