#i cant remember if thats like. a real word..
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patchworkpoison · 1 year ago
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lightbright :3 !!
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outfoxt · 10 months ago
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Would love to hear about potential parallel stories/lore in judaism 👁👁👁👁💞
i realized that i actually havent thought very in depth about parallels and themes in the bible in a LONG time but let me think...
one that jumped to the forefront of my mind is something that idk if its a theme/parallel or not, but it has to do with moses. in the torah (really in the talmud i think which is a bunch of rabbi's headcanons about the torah that were then accepted as canon later on), when moses was taken in by pharaoh a test was performed to see whether moses would overthrow him, and by extension whether he was safe to keep and raise. that test was to show baby moses two pots: one of gold and riches and one of hot coals, and whichever he grabbed would be indicative as to what kind of son he'd be. so obviously, being a baby, moses starts to go for the shiny stuff. but (so the story goes) since moses has plot armor an angel (of death [?]) reached out and moved his hand to the hot coals. this is important because not only did it secure his safety to grow up under pharaoh's watch, but it burned his hand, which he then put in his mouth which permanantly burned his tongue and gave him a lisp. now the lisp isnt really talked about much more until later on, and its kind of minor so i get why its often left out, but it changes the whole feeling of the story! because of the lisp, moses gets nervous to speak in front of pharaoh's mages, and so it's aaron who does the talking when they turn their staffs into snakes. it's aaron (iirc) who speaks to the hebrews and tells them the word of god. moses is the one who speaks directly to god and does his bidding in the stories, but aaron is the one who conveys the information. and AND i just remembered this continues!! it continues to be true that moses doesnt always tell his own story!! in the scientific world it is generally accepted that there are a few different authors/compilers of the torah, but in judaism there is one main accepted truth of how it was written with two endings: moses wrote the whole thing up until the last chapter when he was on mount sinai, writing down word for word what god told him to. the ending, though, changes because at the end of the bible moses dies there is a debate over whether moses wrote his own death before it happened (since god is omnipresent blah blah blah) or whether joshua took over for him after he died. if the latter is true, that would be the second time someone tells moses' story for him!! first aaron tells the mages and the hebrews who moses is and why he was sent to save them, and then joshua tells the story of his death and his exile from the holy land! there are THEMES and MOTIFS i can SEE THEM
i have no idea if this is what you were asking for but thank you for inviting me to infodump XD <3
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assless-chapstick · 1 year ago
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Hellooo! Just wanted to say I love you’re Fics. You’re writing is so damn good, along with the smut. (Very hard for me to write) is very impressive! Any more fics in the pimple line?
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feller I'm so glad you enjoyed them!! I really enjoyed writing and sharing them and I'm tryna get that fire back !!
since my Kîyanaw series turned 4 this year, I was brainstorming some ideas and was thinking about another part...
like 8 years on Arthur and Charles have made good, they've got a herd of cattle now and have hired on a couple hands (the sons of the old spinsters what helped them get their start) and they ain't just homesteaders no more but real ranchers. They're comfortable - maybe Arthur has even seriously started working on illustrations of herbs and wildflowers, fixing to get them published as a field guide or something...
anyway they're comfy and happy and living a charmed life... the RCMP come around some times, and it still gets their hackles up, but they're ok.
And then one day they get a letter.
Charles had been at the post office, picking up some parcels, sending out one of Arthur's illustrations to the publisher maybe, making smalltalk with the postmaster. And the postmaster he goes like "hey you fellers employ drifters and the like up at your place, right? anyone pass through by the name of Tacitus Kilgore?"
and that's how they get word, a sneaky letter from Sadie, that she's alive. That John and Abigail and lil Jackie - who must be what, shit, fourteen? - are still alive.
and shit happens they head down there and Arthur and John have a super emotionally fraught reunion cuz like, John is so happy to see him but so fuckin angry because he thought Arthur had died, and then because he feels like Arthur abandoned him like, why didn't you look for me? You say up there on your fancy fuckin ranch for eight god damned years and you never thought to look for me?
And this is at the point when Abigail and Jack aren't around and John is tryna build that house... and just such a super low point so it's very emotional and hard on him and he's mad but only cuz that's how all his emotions present themselves djbdbdbd
and then Charles and Arthur help him build the house and there's one night, just one where John is drunk(er than usual) and lamenting the loss of his family and he turns to Arthur for comfort the same way he always has and then John is kissing on Arthur's neck by the light of the fire and Arthur's hands are on John's hips to push him away but he looks over John's shoulder at Charles and they communicate in that quiet, sacred way they do...
and Charles is a sex freak who loves to watch so he watches as Arthur fucks John in this way where it's like, this is a relationship that is so unnameable... it's not just friendship not just fraternity it's like there's this connection where Arthur is the only person in the world who knows John the way John knows Arthur... so he fucks him and Charles watches and then they all make out
and in the morning John pretends it never happened like "I'm gonna get my wife back... I'm just not the type to share. Sorry Charles" and like it was just this one time thing and it gives John the willpower to carry on and hustle for his family dhhfhf idk that's just my idea
and then I had an idea too for just a fun one shot of John/Arthur gunplay where Arthur takes the cold barrel of his revolver and runs it along the bony jut of John's hip bone where it peeks over the waistband of his pants.... and he calls John the ugliest sonofabitch he's ever seen and spits on his face even as he so gently gathers John's hair up in his hand so John can open his mouth so Arthur can gently gently fuck it with his gun and then maybe also his dick
idk mister I'm just in a fun goofy mood that's what's been on my mind lately!! thanks for asking!!
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apollo-zero-one · 9 months ago
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Man I can't believe I had the chance to go to a performing arts school up through middle school and I fuckin quit after 6 months just because I got bullied. BRO YOUR HOMEWORK WAS POETRY!! YOU HAD TO PRACTICE DANCING TO COTTON EYE JOE AS YOUR BIG UNIT TEST. GYM CLASS HAD A CIRCUS UNIT!! YOU HAD A WHOLE DAILY CLASS ON IMPROV!!! YOU FOOL!! YOU ABSOLUTE IMBICILE!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A YOUTUBER!!! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE TWEENAGERS GETTING LOADED BY MAKING SHITTY YOUTUBE SHORTS IN 2008-14!! But noooOoooOOOoo little miss Noellie (who WANTED TO GO!! who worked SO HARD and sent in an application essay and did an INTERVIEW to get in!!) couldn't handle disruptive classmates or little scuffles and petty grudges and general Attitude of the other students and cried to mommy to put her back in public school. I am EATING MY HAIR over what Could Have Been. I COULD BE SOMEONE'S ANNOYING YOUTUBER!! I could be a DISGRACED DISNEY CHANNEL STAR!! I could be an America's Got Talent winner! A mild to moderately successful comedian! I could be making short films!! But no no no precious thin skinned baby me heard a few new cus words and watched a teacher get heckled and begged to give up The Dream in favor of?? Quiet math tests?? I am such a fucking quitter I quit everything the second it gets too hard I always take the out as soon as it's offered what's my fucking damage.....
#I had SO MUCH POTENTIAL and I SQUANDERED IT!! weak ass third grade PUSSY! Your life could have been SO SICK!!#or you could at least be addicted to cocain or something interesting like that!! Boring ass goody two shoes always just staying home doing#NOTHING bitch make a REAL FRIEND go to a God Damn PARTY live a little instead of just hiding in the closet eating saltine crackers for years#waiting for it to be quiet outside before you ever even toed the line#mentally ill self-isolating motherfucker#you could have shrugged it off you could have GROWN A PAIR and FOUGHT BACK but you just ran and cried for mommy#victim complex little bitch baby always whining and exaggerating and making shit up fucking LIAR I am you and I KNOW what you did and I know#you knew it wasn't the truth and you regretted it the moment it came out of uour mouth but once you'd said it you just swallowed it back and#doubled down incriminating or discrediting others with your lies. For why? Because you didn't like them? You could have ruined someone's#life you wouldn't have hesitated mayhe you did and don't even remember because you cant keep your mouth shut with your pants ablaze#manipulative little shit and to WHAT END? Pity? Sympathy? Attention? Entertainment?? What was even going on in your stupid ugly head?#This is a callout post for my third grade self that possessed demon ass evil nine year old. That kid drowned anthills in olive oil and#poisoned a wild animal once. That kid cut plants just to see if they oozed. That kid modified her whole ass personality on a dime for a boy#she had a crush on. INSTANTLY dropped a LIFELONG CULTURAL ALLEGIANCE (thats what football teams were like back then in our town) because he#said he had the opposite allegiance??? What the fuck? girl had NO integrity none zip zilch.#No empthy either that kid looked at everyone else on earth like they were friggin space aliens and she was the only one with Real feelings.#bitch literally thought like 'I have Feelings they just have Reactions' bitch what the fuckkkkk#that nine year old was fucked the hell up!!!#and for literally NO REASON!! No cause!! Just born fucking evil and weird. jesus fuck.#Evil ass bitch caused her autistic brother months of nightmares and then laughed about it and wrote poetry about how evil he was because he?#was a kid??? Normal sibling rivalry taken way way way too far defamatory ass statements#and this girl had NO CONSEQUENCES because she could lie and manipulate her way out of ANYTHING she had the baby eyes and the helpless charm#and played dumb soooo well . read people like some calculative evil AI scanning their faces for microexpressions and overanalyzing each word#choice like holy shit. its not That Deep. pretentious shit trying to play 5D chess on a checkers board.#Manipulating shit just to see what happens?? zero awareness?? no asking just skipping straight to testing for yourself??#'What happens if I step on this' it fucking breaks 'what does that taste like?' it's not fucking yours to mess with 'if I hit this person#how will they respond?' they'll be upset use your goddamn judgement you are NINE not TWO do you even care a little about any other person??#Are you just living in some other reality???#callout post for the fucking demon child inside of me#im so goddamn problematic I'm so so so deeply mentally disturbed and broken for no reason
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truckstoptigers · 1 year ago
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i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.
and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.
#familial trafficking is a very real thing and i am not okay :)#i still have a hard time coming to terms w it. i mean. thats what happened. i was trafficked. but it wasnt a stranger.#it was my fucking dad!! what the fuck!!!!!#he wouldnt stick around whenever hed bring me somewhere so it could happen. he literally left me w men he didnt even really know.#i remember one of them asked me once 'think your dad would let me keep you?' and all i could do was cry because well.#what exactly was stopping him from taking me? it sure as hell wasnt the law because me being seven fucking years old didnt matter.#im sure some of them thought about it. i just got lucky. i only got to go back home because of dumb luck. not everyone gets that chance.#sometimes i still feel like shit for using the word 'trafficking' to describe what happened to me because i know thats what it was#but it still doesnt feel like its *my* word to use. like im blowing it all out of proportion even though thats. literally what it was.#i dont know how to talk to anyone about it. just typing this made me have to put my phone down for a minute so i could try to calm down.#and then i also had to set it down for like an hour for the same reason. i just. im gonna go play minecraft for a few hours.#csa vent#trauma vent#actuallyabused#actuallytraumatized#tw trafficking#forgetting about this shit for years and having the memories come flooding back all of a sudden has been. SO difficult.#im so tired of thinking about it but i cant stop.
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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GORGEOUS case bro I've never seen one with a continuous design like that and the embossment itself is so tasteful... always happy to see Mr. Dunkulous too <3
ALSO AYO YOU WATCHED MONDAY? How was it? Either way you're almost done with the Sabu Tsutsumi catalogue then... that's epic... I'm glad you liked Destiny too, it really is such a cute movie
Also I'm pretty sure PS4 preloads are open too BUT I'm still salty Xbox gets it a day early </3
Its one of the first designs i ran into while looking up wallet cases LMAO lucky me me thinks…. Its very pretty <3 mr dunkulous here to stay and keep me company lest i totally lose my mind <3<3
AND I DID i mentioned so durin stream yesterday ! i REALLY loved it, sabu keeps putting ttm in terrible situations and it makes me giddy seeing him panic 🥰 AND DESTINY WAS ADORABLE it was so cute….. really wholesome and what my soul needed….
OH PS4 PRELOADS OPEN ? Ill check it out when i get home later……. Why does xbox get it a day early thats rude me thinks…..
#snap chats#cancelling a post i was gonna make to bitch in the tags of this one <3#anyway on this day this monday we remember the words of our king ryuji goda#A Real Man Oughta Be A Little Stupid DO YALL WANNA KNOW HOW MAD I AM.#HOW I JUST SPENT A FRACTION OF MY FOOD MONEY ON A STUPID CARD#WHEN MY FUCKING ID WAS UNDEE MY TABLET. CAN YOU IMAGINE MY RAGE. MY ANGER.#I TORE UP MY ROOM ALL WEEKEND BUT NEVER THOUGHT TO CHECK UNDER MY FUCKIN TABLET#its a lilfunny….. im tryna make the most of it ok GODAMMIT IM SO MAD THO I CANT#$20 is like $5 in todays society everything is twenty fuckin dollars i cant live like this#at least my deadnames not on my id anymore… and it doesnt look like its falling apart ig…#STILL HAVE THIS TERRIBLE PHOTO AND ID RATHER BE DEADNAMES AND HAVE $20 THAN NOT HAVE $20#NO ONE TALK TO ME ANYWAY kinda funny. hang on.#at least i dont have to get a new sticker… i just scalpe the old one from my oher card.. lol… knife came in handy…#was leaving to Waste Twenty Dollars when i ran into one of my roommate’s boyfriend for the ninth time this semester#and we both clamber into the elevator and he like ‘ive seen you a lot lol so uhh whats your name :)’#and the struggle i had… do i say Aforementioned Dead Name do i say my Thinking Of Changing First Name do i say Last Name….#the safe answer is always last name so thats what i did but god i floundered..i stared at him for a second longer than i shouldve#today sucks. at least i dont have a night class today…#i’d stream y0 but streams dont go well when i stream them at 5#plus i have to work on a comm… ouugg lemme cap it here before i rant for thirty tags straight LMAO#anyway. love my new case. destiny was cute. angry jealous frog ttms funny and sad at the same time. monday made me giggle 🥴#this was a good post to make while making sure my cars battery didnt die LMAO ok bye <3
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gibbearish · 1 year ago
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i know it was a joke that is sort of understandable in context so im not gonna say anything on the post itself. but boy seeing someone say "i'm also down with murdering a few actors if it leads to better movies" REALLY rubs me the wrong way
#like the context was op said 'if the gore is cgi whats the point' and someone replied 'do you expect them to just maim the actors'#then 'ohh i forgot about practical effects'#and its like. i get the joke. i get how you got to that joke. i get you didnt mean anything by it.#but 'so what if actors die as long as the movie's good' isnt uh. exactly a hypothetical is it?#like. isnt workplafe safety for actors like a huge fucking issue#both with set stuff and just. How They Treat Their Workers#like. even on safe sets dont actors srill get worked to the bone to the point theyre way more likely to like. get deathly sick or#be distracted while driving or turn to addiction#or even more outright things like. i cant remember who it was but that girl who that one director Deeply traumatized over and over again#because he wanted her reaction to truly be real?#and thats not even touching the entire world of stunt doubles#like. the movie industry seeing actors as disposable fodder as long as the movie is good is. real life.#so even knowing they probably werent trying to make light of that because like. the wording of its the same but with theirs the context#does have a /slightly/ different meaning#where the punchline is saying 'nah lets actually do (wild thing)' because taking a misunderstanding seriously can be funny#but in this case (wild thing) is actually (extremely common and fucked up thing) so its just. really not good imo#idk it just made me really uncomfortable and i needed to get it out of my system
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enigma-the-anomaly · 2 years ago
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when Suzanne collins described the tearing and bleeding of katniss’ newly grafted skin after the execution in mockingjay…I think it changed me
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yaoib0y · 2 years ago
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im so fucking tired and stressed. i dont know when this ends. it hasnt ended for the past like 4 months and its driving me fucking crazy
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opens-up-4-nobody · 2 years ago
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...
#tomorrow is the day the measurements start. the start of my 40+ days of torment. but idk im glad its finally here#i dont have to dread it anymore. hopefully its the last time i have to do these type of measurements#i was talking to my boss yesterday and she was like: oh last timr we were out i realized this might be ur last time doing lpi for thr rest#of ur life. and i was like god i hope so. bc thats a process where i crawl across the ground for 50m per transect and identify all the#plants and soil cover and for the life of me i cant fucking remember plant codes. i hate it bc i basically have to talk for like 3hrs and#have someone standing over my shoulder recording me and all the while my brain is screaminf at me bc field work doesnt count as real work#in my stupid brain. so yea ill do lpi and soil stability as benign torment in purgatory#but anyway. im hesitantly optimistic abt the measurements i have to take bc im going to try my best to make it ok bc i have school#interviews looming and i have to pretend im hanging on by more than a single thread ya kno#so we r going to b careful abt it. well at least well see how long it lasts. i also have tk find the time to read a bunch before interviews#while my brain is completely fried idk how. and do other lab stuff. sigh...#idk im probably going to take measurements all the way thru sunday and then monday see if i can fill out patent intake info with a psy#psychiatrist. and hope they take my insurance. i called and checked for providers and they were the only one in the area so shoulf b ok but#ya kno. god im barely a functional person. like the fact that i have to drive 8min down the road is very nearly enough for me to say fuck#it. id rather suffer forever. i just hate driving so much :-P#i just wish i could focus enough to make words make sense and justify the time i spend to learn things. agh#lmao im such an anxious person. a lab mate had a birthday today and my boss and a fellow lab member surprised her with a cake#and im v worried abt when my birthday happens. it wasnt so bad last time bc another birthday was also that week so the focus was off me a#lil but with my boss leaving this school i was like. yes. i escape the surprise gathering. but probably not. same for when i leave#genuinely i do not want a gathering. i just feel like im waiting for them to end. not that i dont like my lab mates but idk it feels so#artificial. and i feel awkward bc i never make eye contact or look at anyone in a way i think is typical bc i see ppl look at me#like turn their head to see my reaction to something and i just like fundamentally do not understand that impulse#whatever. what i want for my birthday or going away is to not attend the gathering. make it more like a wake lol#but i kno that wont happen. last year my boss asked whst i wanted and i said nothing and she said that wasnt allowed#im just so neurotic that if u try to do anything for me itll prob just upset me. but idk ppl like to give presents and stuff#and sometimes things arent all abt me. so i just gotta accept it and go cry abt it later#but thats like 3 months away so i dont kno why im so stressed abt it now. I've got more pressing things to stress abt#unrelated
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itsalwaysdark · 6 months ago
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i am okay tho i just have momeys sometimrs . please do not ever worry abt me guys
#i rly rly rly appreciate any asks u guys send me truly i usually hold onto then bc i dont know how to respond and rheyre good to see#sometimes#but im not in any danger i rly am. safe. i have a lot of things keeping me from doing That so. i am safe. dw.#i just get sad a lot. and its my fault i need 2 judt stop it and suck it uo and Work on it all but its so. insurmountable. and it judt#doesnt get easier yk. it never does. whatsver.#but. anyways i am safe i am okif it got to the point i was like. fearful for my life thatd either be The delusion (which is actually good#for me i cant explain it but its good for me) or i coulf talk to my family abt it and theyd help#i just cant talk to them abt This. stuff. the like. the being broken stuff and just not being right#i cant talk to any of them abt that. but if i said hey im genuinely faarful i miggjt do something they would um. help. so its okay#idk. i hope the posts dont seem like i make them for pity i rly dont this blog is just my stream of consciousness#ik i just shouldnt post them and i should judtkeeo a diary but i dont um. how to explain thid#even if nobody sees it it feels better to make a tumblr post bc then it feels like. a performance i guess. its not its real but its like#if i put it somewhere other ppl can see it then that means i exist. thats not quite right but i dont know how to articulate like#i dont nexessarily want ppl to see them i find it embarassing i guess. but it feels dishonest to not post them#since i post everything else. bc i like being open online it makes me think im real. does that make sense#and there are timestamps so i know when things happen. thsts modtly how i remember things#is looking at my blog and checking dates and timestamps. and for older stuff i have to check my dms with ykw. which. is not good for.me at#all. but ihave no other way to remember dayes#i dont know. im rly sry i hate podting vents but i dont like deleting posts eithrr so j dont know oike. idk.#just idk know they arent like. They are serious they are how i feel and i usually make them ehen im in distress#but its not dangerous distress i judt get hopeless. yk? i dont wanr anybody to worry abt me ever im not supposed to be a burden#i dont knoe. i havent articulated anything well. basicallt i dont do rhem for attention i dont do them for like. guilttripping or pity#i dont rly do them for any reason other than irs pure word vomit. i suppose. and tumblr is my wordvomit website. i judt get on here and yap#and it makes me feel so much worse but i get better eventually so its fine.
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hauntingblue · 6 months ago
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Santiago and lestat having a diva off the second he steps on stage....
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geraskier · 10 months ago
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"you got some pretty toes"
"my nail tech knows how to keep a lil secret"
yeah sorry jack harlow you have a thing for feet. "i'm vanilla baby" my ass
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ivysprophecy · 2 months ago
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slim pickins
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warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing
masterlist | p. 2
no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake
word count; 1911
summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.
divider by @bernardsbendystraws
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i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.
thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.
they are all taken. its plain and simple.
which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.
i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.
and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.
needless to say pope had to drag her away.
after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.
"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.
"im good with whatever"
i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.
"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.
"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.
i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.
he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.
he walks so slow for being 6'3.
and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again
"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.
"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.
"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."
"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.
jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"
and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.
"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.
jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.
but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.
"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.
"in your dreams honey."
"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.
now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.
watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.
random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.
unless theyre with jj.
but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.
is that a bit dramatic? probably.
i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.
so of course im not going to date him, why would i?
what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!
"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."
"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.
he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."
curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.
when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.
he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'
"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face
i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"
"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."
"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."
"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."
"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."
he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"
"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."
we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.
"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."
"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"
"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."
"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."
"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.
just like it does every other time.
i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.
jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.
"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"
john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"
oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"
jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.
"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"
"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.
"are you gonna put me down now?"
he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.
"youre a pervert."
"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"
oh im gonna kill him...
oh wait! im gonna kill him!
"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.
he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."
i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.
"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."
it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.
its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.
i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"
and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.
"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.
just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.
"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."
"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.
am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.
but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.
515 notes · View notes
a-disturbing-self-reflection · 11 months ago
Text
🏁 Winner, winner, chicken dinner - EO31
SUMMARY: Social media au, y/n is an f1 driver for porsche. 2 best friends finally get a clue. PAIRING: Esteban ocon x fem!reader
Y/N13
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Liked by Estebanocon and others
Y/N13 Proud of porsche 🖤
Sorry to end silly season before it begins, but here's to another year!
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Estebanocon how long did that take you to think of?
↳ Y/N13 dont...
↳ User1 not him exposing her like that 💀
User2 yesss! Our queen is slaying staying
PorscheF1 We'd want no one else! 🔥💛
↳ alex_albon do I mean nothing to you?
↳ Y/N13 I love you Porsche admin 😍😍
↳ PorscheF1 😳
↳ Estebanocon stop flirting with the poor admin
↳ landnorris jealous? 🤨
↳ User5 ok Grandpa, lets get you into bed
User3 Can't wait to watch next weeks gp
User4 I'm taking time off work to watch next weeks grand prix! Cant wait to see you smash it, Hungary here i come!!
User5 She's such a porsche girly, I'm living for it
User6 I dont want, I NEED that jacket
↳ User5 ikr, its GORGEOUS
Estebanocon
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Liked by Y/N13, fernandoalo_oficial and others
Estebanocon I don't know what to write I'm lost for words we just won the Hungarian @ f1GrandPrix i will forever remember this moment!!🔥 Thank you to @ alpinef1team, without them I would not have made it, and what a drive by the legend himself @ fernandoalo_oficial he's part of this too
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alpinef1team 🔥🔥
↳ User6 alpine fr love their fire emojis
↳ alpinef1team 🔥
Y/N13 King of long captions and king of the podium!
↳ Estebanocon let me celebrate in peace
↳ User5 Mum help, they're flirting again
↳ User7 you are delulu
User8 You only got that win cause of Fernando clown 🤡
User9 💩
User10 Not the toxic Fernando fan boys in the comments 💀
fernandoalo_oficial Congrats 😁👍
↳ Estebanocon next win is yours 😉
Y/N13 added to her story!
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Y/N13 Estie my bestie, we party like no others.
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landonorris I was there too you know
Y/N13 🥱
landonorris Of course you're only focused on him
Y/N13 whats that supposed to mean?
landonorris nothinggggg ;)
lando.jpg
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lando.jpg Podium pals 😎
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User11 She looks like a godess... And they're... there.
Y/N13 Did Estie dirty there lmao
↳ lando.jpg Estie? interesting
↳ User5 HA he's so us
User6 lando got those moves 🕺
Estebanocon It was a great night to end a great day
mclaren looking good Lando! 🔥
charles_leclerc This is charles erasure
↳ lando.jpg Next time dont DNF then 🤷‍♂️
↳ User15 He didnt 💀
User14 Ocon embracing the squirrel
F1gossip
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F1gossip seems it's not just lando norris who got tired during the Belgian GP! Y/n L/n and Esteban Ocon caught snuggling up during the red flag
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User5 INTERESTING
User15 They're childhood friends, obviously they're comfy with eachother
↳ User16 Let us L/nOcon shippers live in delusion ok
User17 When is it my tuuuurn
User18 why is no one talking about how cute lando looks
User19 Lando in the liiiikes??
↳ User20 He's the #1 f1 gossiper, of course he's in the likes
Y/N13
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Liked by alex_albon and others
Y/N13 And thats how you celebrate P2
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User16 Who's the person you're playing uno with?
↳ landonorris Ocon obviously
↳ User1 More importantly who won
↳ User3 As if Y/n would ever let a man beat her
Liked by Y/N13
↳ User8 She did in the race today
↳ User5 You did NOT, thats FOUL
Estebanocon I'm not accepting this slander, I beat her
↳ Y/N13 LIES
maxverstappen1 Congrats on P2, offended you didn't come out partying with us
↳ Y/N13 But merlin...
↳ User15 She's so real for choosing to watch her fave show instead of going out partying
PorscheF1 p1 here we come! 🏆🔥
↳ User21 why do all admins love the fire emoji?
↳ PorscheF1 🔥
↳ mclaren 🔥
↳ alpinef1team 🔥
landonorris You watched merlin WITHOUT ME???
↳ Y/N13 sucks to suck ig
↳ landonorris :(
User6 Her celebrating her podium with him instead of the rest of the grid 😚
↳ User10 It's so cute
↳ User22 I dont get it, are they dating
↳ landonorris not yet
↳ User5 He ships it harder than us i swear
User23 Soft launch?
↳ User24 They're BEST FRIENDS, this is not a soft launch 😭
Y/N13
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Y/N13 Happy birthday Estie bestie, 15 in a caravan turned to 25 in an f1 car so quick 🖤
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Estebanocon I hate you
↳ Y/N13 you love meeee
↳ landnorris Just kiss already pls
Liked by Estebanocon
↳ User5 Ayo?
User17 The media team did NOT see this one looool
User5 Bestie, the last pic I-
User23 I love it when me and my bestfriend cuddle all platonic style, jokingly flirt and have date nights... girl who you fooling?
User18 He's so baby girl
User15 They're in love
↳ User24 You're delusional (I believe you)
Y/N13
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Liked by PorscheF1, charles_leclerc and others
Y/N13 Winner winner chicken dinner, what more can I say?
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User5 How about explaining that kiss!!??!?!
PorscheF1 Could not be prouder.
User25 Girl, WHAT does that mean?
landonorris Next step, first ever joint championship 😎
↳ Y/N13 in your dreams buddy
↳ landonorris i dont deserve this
Estebanocon We only know how to win
charles_leclerc Best person to share a podium with
↳ maxverstappen1 What am i?
↳ charles_leclerc a pain
F1gossip
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Liked by User5 and others
F1gossip Passionate displays from Y/n after her first Grand prix win, rushing off the podium to kiss childhood friend Esteban Ocon. Does this reveal a secret side to their relationship? Or was it a heat of the moment decision?
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User5 WE WON
User24 The pining is overrrr
User22 Y/n and Esteban finally getting together WAS on my 2021 bingo card!
↳ User26 Be honest, how many years has it been on there?
↳ User22 ....
Estebanocon
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Liked by landonorris, Y/N13 and others
Estebanocon the spider to my man
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Y/N13 you think you're smooth
↳ Estebanocon the smoothest
Y/N13 finally get to say i love youuuuuuu (in a non platonic way!!)
↳ Estebanocon I'll help you reach any apple you want
↳ User20 everyday i wake up knowing ill never have this
User6 I have to know, @ landonorris how much of this was you?
↳ landonorris at least 60%
↳ User14 Only 60?
↳ landonorris the pining was crazy
Y/N13
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Liked by alex_albon, Estebanocon and others
Y/N13 finally got a clue
Estebanocon only took 20 years
435 notes · View notes
comet-forgot-you · 1 year ago
Note
need some vampire amber freeman x human reader smut
ily for this omg
teeth
vampire!amber freeman x human!reader
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summary: your girlfriend is gone for a week and d shows up with what you think is a shitty excuse.
warnings: 18+ pls, smut, fingering, oral, biting, blood sucking, needy top!amber, i think thats all.
a/n: what if i said i love twilight, what then. idk this is kinda silly at beginning and end but it gets the tiniest bit intense. do not repost for any reason.
amber had been gone for over a week without reaching out to you for an explanation. a week of you checking her location, spamming her phone, calling nonstop. it wasn’t like her, she could barely go an hour without talking to you let alone an entire week.
you wanted needed her to say something, anything. whether it was over between the two of you, an explanation from her telling you why she had been gone for so long without an explanation, hell even a simple “hey” would do, you just missed her and needed her to say something.
you spent your nights on the couch, attempting to drown out your racing thoughts with the sound of the tv. even that barely managed to soothe the nonstop thoughts of amber’s whereabouts or whatever reasoning your brain could possibly think of to explain her absence.
a knock interrupted your thoughts, you glance away from the tv. whoever it was would have to come back tomorrow. it was late and you had no interest in opening that door. a minute passes before more frantic knocks come from the door. you groan, pulling yourself from the couch and follow the sounds of insistent knocking on the door. you look through the peep hole and relief floods your body.
amber
its amber.
holy shit its amber.
you make quick work of unlocking the door, allowing yourself to be face to face with the girl. her jaw clenches the second you open it. she’s beautiful, skin clear of any blemishes it held before.
“what the fuck?” your mouth acts before your brain can stop it. amber’s eyes are darker than their usual color, eyes softening the moment the words leave your lips. “where the fuck have you been? you don’t text me, you don’t call me, you just disappear for a week, what the fuck?” your voice rises with every word and amber winces.
“baby, please. js’ lemme explain. can i come in?” you let out a huff of air, standing back to widen the door. amber stays still, eyes darting around the entrance of your home.
“you just gonna stand there? come in,” you say, raising your eyebrows at her random hesitation. she comes in, standing behind you as you shut and lock the door.
“sorry, just,” she lets out a huff of air, “nervous,” she finishes, fiddling with her hands. you turn to face her. shes so pretty and god did you miss her. you wrap your arms around her waist, resting your head on her shoulder. her body is tense underneath your arms. shes still, her arms make no move to wrap around you, shes just still. hell you’re not even sure she’s breathing.
“where the fuck have you been amber,” you say, pulling away from you.
“i didnt think it was real,” she mumbles, taking a step back. your eyebrows furrow. “thought they were joking and then they fucking did it and now..” she trails off, looking around the room for a brief moment.
“who did what? what was real?” you ask, her attention returns back to you.
“im a vampire.” you cant help the laugh that leaves your throat.
“yeah fucking right. you leave for a week with no reasoning and the best excuse you can come up with is that you’re a vampire? are you fucking kidding me? if you needed space, amber, you could’ve just said that, you didnt have to make an excuse up, a dumb one at that.” you shake your head, brushing past the dark haired girl. she’s quick to follow after you.
“im not joking. i know it sounds stupid, i just, i don’t fucking know. i just wanted to go to that stupid concert with tara and a few of her other friends and then someone did something, i don’t even know what happened, all i remember was waking up in the worst pain i’ve ever felt in my life and a thirst that water wasnt helping in the slightest,” the words fall from her lips at a speed you didnt know she could possess. her shoulders were stiff as she paced your living room.
“so, what, you went out and bit someone and said ‘hey, that was pretty good, i think ill do it again.”? do you even hear yourself?” you huff, leaning back into your couch.
“i know it sounds stupid, but its true,” she looks around the room, searching for some way to prove it to you. she takes a seat next to you, “watch,” she opens her mouth, canines growing sharper and longer in seconds and your eyes widen. your fingers move to poke at the sharp ends, a slight hiss coming from your lips the second it pricks your fingers, the smallest drop of blood forming on your finger. amber’s quick to pull your hand away, snapping her mouth shut. her fingers are freezing against your wrist. she takes a deep breath in, eyes closed. “y/n, im sorry, but it, you smell so fucking good,” she mutters, jaw clenching.
“what, a little drop of blood gets you thirsty?” you tease, the droplet of blood falls down your finger. amber’s gaze flickers to you, your eyebrow raises slightly. you shake your hand from her hold and hold her jaw with your opposite hand. “open up,” you mumble. she does exactly that, her jaw falling slack in your hand. you press your bloodied finger against her tongue and her mouth closes. she wastes no time sucking the blood off of your finger. a whine threatens to escape your throat at the sight. you squeeze her face between your hand and she opens her mouth again. you pull your finger from her lips, a whine escaping her throat in the process.
“y/n..” she whimpers, pushing herself closer to your body. “taste s’ good.” she presses her lips against your neck, your heart beating so loudly in your chest, you’re certain she can hear it. she pushes you back, settling between your thighs as she litters purplish marks across your skin.
cold hands meet the warm skin of your stomach and you gasp at the chill, arching your back off of the cushions. “you’re hands are so fucking cold,” you hiss, hands flying to tangle in her hair. she hums against your neck, sharp teeth scraping the skin. she presses a thigh against your clothed core, your hips buck into it.
“wanna taste you, baby, please?” you nod frantically and she rips your shirt open, leaving your chest exposed. the sight of her ripping your shirt open had you grinding yourself down on her thigh. amber was never that strong, that needy for you. it sent heat plummeting to the pit of your stomach.
she circles your erect nipples with her tongue, hands moving to remove your pants. “sh-shit amber. so fuckin.. shit.. so fuckin needy.” breathy moans break your words apart, “please.” she pulls back for a split second before shes back on you, both of your pants long gone in that tiny amount of time. “holy shit,” you mumble, arching into her cool thigh. her actions are quick against your body, her mouth on your needy cunt in minutes.
you whine the second her tongue meets your pulsing clit. a cold finger sinks into your greedy hole, a strewn out moan falling from your lips. you two had experimented with ice, but this was a million times better than previous experiences ever were.
she curls her finger in your cunt, tongue circling your clit at a faster pace than shes ever had. she was a lot quicker, and she used it to her advantage. “taste so fucking good,” she moans into your cunt, the added vibration sending a new wave of wetness to soak her finger. she pushes another finger into your soaking cunt, curling and scissoring them into you at an inhumane pace.
“fuuck,” you moan out, arching off of the cushions. it was so much, the way her fingers were fucking into you like she needed your orgasm in order for her to survive had your head spinning. sharp teeth poke your clit and your hips still, the feelings new, and so fucking exciting. her tongue is back on your clit just as fast as it left. your orgasm is fast approaching, heart besting erratically.
“gonna cum, baby? can hear your heart beating s’ fast. its okay, you can cum, want you to cum so bad,” her fingers curl into your cunt perfectly and youre coming against her faster than you ever had, juices coating her cold fingers. she pulls them out, lapping it up quickly with her tongue. she groans at the taste, vibrations causing your body to jerk against her tongue.
she presses kisses against your thighs, teeth scraping against the fat of them. you prop yourself up on your elbows, watching as she does her best to keep herself from sinking her teeth into your skin.
“you.. you can bite, ambs,” you mutter. amber looks up at you, rubbing at the skin of your thighs.
“what if it hurts you? i don’t want to hurt you,” her voice is full of emotion, yet so needy. “what if i can’t stop?” the question lingers in the air. what if she cant stop? what if it kills you? its a risk you’re willing to take.
“i trust you.” the words are all it takes for amber to sink her fangs into your thigh. the area burns, your head spinning as she drains blood from your body. a whimper leaves her throat, heat flooding through both of your bodies. it hurts, but at the same time feels so fucking good. your hips buck off of the couch for a split second.
you feel almost light headed, you were losing blood fast. you nudge amber with your other thigh but the girl hardly budges. she glances up at you, eyes dark.
“amber,” you can barely get her name out. she looks almost apologetic. “amber, baby, please,” it seems to pull her from her trance like state. she unlatches herself from your thigh, lapping up the blood that drips out afterward.
“sorry, im sorry, im so sorry,” she mumbles, reaching out to hold your hand. “taste s’ good.” she trails kisses up your body, quiet “im sorrys” falling from her lips after every kiss.
“its okay,” your voice is quiet, eyes tired. she presses a kiss to your lips. “felt kinda good,” you say against her lips. she smiles, pulling away to press kisses around your face. “wait does this mean i cant have garlic anymore?” amber rolls her eyes, smacking your shoulder lightly.
“you can still have garlic you idiot.”
358 notes · View notes