#i cant remember if thats like. a real word..

[xylatox]

The Craved Misfit || hk

Another Kai fic from Raya ahh, ive been super excited to read it and I finally got to it :) 

Omg the beginning is so intense and I am in love with it honestly. I am genuinely living for this version of Kai like

He has always hated disorder, the way it jars the symmetry he craves.

This line is so good ugh

I just also love his thought process and despite the way his words have a bite to them, theres so much more to him that just genuinely makes him so intriguing.

How hurt must she be to let someone else see her so wrecked, so undone?

Such a beautiful line. I will always be blown away by Raya’s words

Not here. Not now. But back in that cold, too-quiet house where no one looked like you. Where you sat at the dinner table and watched mouths move around you like you weren’t even there. Where you learned, early and without being told, how to be invisible.

I swear, you always know how to break my heart in all the right places

You were the one who showed up on the doorstep with nothing but a trunk and a name no one knew how to say. You tried your best to earn your place, to blend in, to make yourself useful, but they still looked at you like you were something foreign. Something misplaced.

Ugh. Raya I man. Your words really are some of the most beautiful things my eyes have been blessed to read

"If you really liked me, you’d do it too. You know?"

Jay why must you be a bad guy ;-;

Jayyyyy why must you be a bad guy ;-;-;-; not the bet what. Dont yall think she’s been through enough

You remember trying, really trying to open up. The effort it took to prioritize someone else's wants over your own. The nights you rehearsed words in your head, how to say things gently, carefully, so he wouldn't feel rejected. You remember the ache of being left out, how his friends would talk around you like you were invisible. The silence when you spoke. The forced smiles when they laughed at jokes you didn’t understand because they were never meant for you.

I love that despite what mc goes through, she tries her best to not make her words not seem harsh so he never misunderstood/felt hurt and ugh, for him to do this is seriously heartbreaking. I also really love the way her voice and entire presence feels so much sharper and you can tell that she holds back so much and ugh :( i love her

A boy in red caught up to you, fumbling for your attention, desperate to be seen. Kai watched, as you turned to him with a look of pure disdain. The boy stammered something, like he was apologizing. You slapped him. Hard.

YES GOOD FOR HER!! So proud of her

Also obsessed with the fact that Kai sees the attitude in her but he cant look away then he thinks the craziest thing ever

His chest tightened, something crawled under his skin. How much sweeter would it be if he were the one to do it? He could already picture it: your pride, your voice breaking, your pretty face crumpling; under his hands, under his mouth, under his name. Not for some sniveling boy, but for him.

Only him.

Like this is so freaking insane and I am living for it

You were raw, undone, human. Everything he wasn’t. Everything he had been taught to crush.

What would it take to ruin you completely?

Oh my god (totally not freaking out rn)

Your fingers twitched. You didn’t need a wand. The goblet in front of the boy crushed. Water soaked his robes. Gasps echoed. You didn’t look back. You kept walking.

Forget Kai I am so in love with her.

“I have power. You just have a last name.”

Oh my god I am so in love with her

I think shes the coolest freaking person ever. Like her magic is so cool to me wtf

HELLO??? HE KISSED HER JUST LIKE THAT??😭OH MY GOD. WAIT MY BRAIN FREAKING FRIED HE KISSED HER WAIT FUCK????? THATS SO (i am so freaking out)

“Stop crying,” he said. “It ruins your face.”

I will pass out

She exhaled through her nose, almost amused. “Oh. Yeah.” There was a flicker of something beneath her expression then something real. “I’m ambitious,” she said. “And if being ambitious makes me a bad person… then I guess I’m a Slytherin.”

I cant help but find Yunjin super cute here.

“Am I hurting you?” Kai shushed when you hissed, feeling a hint of pain as he filled you.

I will pass out

“I’ll learn how to move the way you do. I’ll learn how to speak the way you understand. I’ll change the way I live if that’s what it takes. Every single day, I’ll do it, just to fit you.”

Oh my god ugh.

Raya. I genuinely become one of the happiest people when I read your work. It turns a bad day good, a rainy day into a sunny one. Just, I love every aspect of your writing and just, always, thank you for choosing to share your work with the world.

‎₊ ˚ ⊹ ིྀ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐑𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐅𝐈𝐓

pairing: slytherin!kai x gryffindor!reader

He was supposed to look away. He was never supposed to crave the one who didn't belong.

warnings: hogwarts au, set in college age, romance redemption, strangers to lovers, pureblood/halfblood societal norms, mdni. bullying!, family!trauma.

smutwarnings: virginity-loss, missionary, oral!fem receiving.

wc: 10k — playlist

𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾𝗌: so happy to be part of this event! thank you to my girls, rain, ash yun and nina for being awesome ily all ^.^ see the event masterlist here.

He grips the back of her head, his fingers sinking into her hair as he thrusts into her with a steady, punishing rhythm. Skin into skin. Her soft moans turn ragged, a needy, breathless chorus in the dimly lit room. The air is thick with the cloying scent of her perfume, almost too sweet, making his head swim.

“m-more, Kai, please,” she whimpers, her nails scraping at his shoulders, her legs tightening around his hips.

He smirks. They always beg the same way.

He watches her, how her lips part with every gasp, her brows knit in desperate pleasure but as she reaches up, her fingers brushing against his jaw, he knows what she’s after.

A kiss.

He shoves her hand down, ignoring the flash of irritation in her eyes. He doesn’t want to see that. He doesn’t want to see anything but her writhing beneath him as he chases his own high.

He keeps pounding into her, the bed creaking under them, her breaths turning into sharp cries. When he feels himself tip over the edge, he holds her hips still, burying himself to the hilt as he cums hard into the condom. He stays there for a moment, head bowed, catching his breath. He pulls out and steps back, his chest heaving. She lies flushed and trembling, a sheen of sweat on her skin, her hair a tangled mess. He’s already made her release twice tonight, but he can’t find it in himself to press his lips to hers.

A line he never crosses.

She sits up, tugging down the hem of her uniform skirt, smoothing it over her thighs. She ties her hair back in a tight ponytail, her green scarf slightly wrinkled. She watches him with narrowed eyes, her lips still parted and pink. “Why don’t you ever kiss me?” Yunjin says finally, her tone somewhere between curiosity and frustration. “I used to think it was just me… but I talked to some of the other girls you’ve hooked up with. You never kiss them either.”

He shrugs, his eyes heavy-lidded and dark as he tugs on his jeans. “Should I?”

“Asshole.” Yunjin’s voice is clipped, her eyes sharp with hurt as she stands up. She can’t let him be the one to leave first, not tonight. She smooths down her skirt and grabs her bag, shoulders squared as she heads for the door.

Heuning Kai just watches her, his lips quirking into a lazy smirk. He’s known her since their first year, long enough to read every flicker of her mood, how she tries to cover her hurt with anger, how she thinks he can’t see it.

He doesn’t bother trying to stop her. He doesn’t have to.

She leaves with her head high and her footsteps light, and he doesn’t move until the door clicks shut behind her. He shakes his head, a small huff under his breath as he stands and tugs his jeans back up, his shirt still undone.

Kissing. It’s always been too intimate, too close; something that feels like more than he can give. He’s never been interested in playing at something deeper than what they already have. He’s never found the will to do it.

He glances at the rumpled sheets. He will need to have them smoothed out, made right again. Things should be neat, aligned.

He has always hated disorder, the way it jars the symmetry he craves.

He strides through the grand halls with the effortless poise of someone who believes the castle itself was built for him. Every step is confident, his polished shoes clicking softly on the stone floor. When someone calls his name, he turns enough to flash them a half-look. His name is on everyone’s lips. His robes are cut to perfection, dark green and silver threads woven just so, a mark of being a pureblood heir and wealth. He sees the girls watching from the corners, cheeks flushed. Some whisper to each other, others just stare in open admiration. The boys in his own house, look at him with a mix of camaraderie and begrudging deference. They share the same colors and the same crest, but not the same steep.

He doesn’t slow down for them. The air around him seems to shimmer with an arrogance that doesn’t need to be spoken aloud.

Everyone knows who he is and what he represents.

He’s about to turn the corner when someone barrels into his shoulder. He glances up, finding himself face-to-face with a student dressed in vivid red.

A Gryffindor.

“Honestly, must you always be this clumsy?” Kai sneers, his voice dripping with scorn as he glares at the boy. There’s no kindness in his eyes, just the sharp gleam of someone who delights in cutting others down. He’s never had patience for Gryffindors, the way they strut around, so certain of their own virtue, as if bravery alone could make them special.

“Watch where you’re going next time,” he adds with a thin smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Or did you leave that famous Gryffindor courage somewhere behind you?”

He hates their pride, their blind sense of righteousness. It’s always been a sore spot for him — the ones in this house always seem so sure of their own moral, so quick to wear it like a crown. They don’t understand real power. They don’t understand how quickly their loud ideals can be torn apart.

“Careful,” he murmurs. “Not everyone here is as forgiving as I am.”

The Gryffindor boy shoves his hands down into his pockets and walks off without a word. Kai’s smirk falters, turning into a disappointed scowl when he realizes he won’t get the reaction he was hoping for.

He turns back to his locker, swinging the door open and rifling through his books. His fingers move. A sudden burst of laughter echoes from the other side of the hallway, loud and grating. He can’t see them, but the harsh, triumphant cackle is enough. Another group of Gryffindors, undoubtedly.

He hates how their lockers are practically pressed up against his own. How he has to see them every day, laughing like the world is theirs for the taking. It makes his skin prickle with annoyance.

He heard them leave.

With a grunt, he shut his own locker and started toward his first class, but not without catching a faint, choked sound from the direction of the lockers he hated so much.

It’s not that he’s curious. It’s not that he wants to see it.

It’s just that it’s on his way, like a grain of sand stuck in his shoe, like a pedestrian standing in the road he needs to cross. A path he has to take, whether he likes it or not.

At the end of the row, a girl is crumpled in defense, her face hidden in her hands. Her shoulders are trembling, the soft, broken sounds slipping past her lips even as she tries to swallow them down. Even from here, he could see the ache written in the curve of her back, in the way her breath hitched and faltered. The world feels too bright around, the hallway too bright and uncaring.

He breathes.

How hurt must she be to let someone else see her so wrecked, so undone?

"I am not the Darkling" he said softly, his eyes searching mine. "I am not the monster you think I am."

You echo the words under your breath, the pages of your battered book trembling slightly in your hands. You feel your eyes burn, but you don't dare blink. The darkling tried dragged her into the dark, but it was her light, Alina, that ended up swallowing him whole.

Fairy tales for the lonely. Lies stitched into paper and ink. Because in the real world, no one survives being consumed by someone else.

And no one asks to be.

“Hey.” You hear your name. When you glance up, Chae Won is standing over you, eyes sharp with contempt.

She’s supposed to be your friend. A fellow Gryffindor.

Without warning, she snatches the book from your hands and grabs your wrist, yanking you up from where you’d been sitting quietly on the floor. “Can we just stop this, please? I—”

“Stop what?” she snaps, already stepping closer. “Crying to Jay? Playing the victim again?” His name stops you cold.

She doesn’t let up. Her hand fists your hair, enough to hurt. “Do you forget you’re a Muggle-born?” she hisses. “And him? He’s everything people want. We were fine before you. You just had to show up, cry to him like some helpless little thing, and now he thinks you're this princess he has to save.”

Chae Won shoves you hard against the lockers. The metal slams cold into your back, the sound echoing down the empty hallway. She leans in, eyes burning, and says the one thing that never stops hurting, no matter how many times you've heard it. “You’re dirty.”

And just like that, you’re six again.

Not here. Not now. But back in that cold, too-quiet house where no one looked like you. Where you sat at the dinner table and watched mouths move around you like you weren’t even there. Where you learned, early and without being told, how to be invisible.

Where no one taught you how to belong.

You don’t say anything. The words are there, caught in your throat, but they taste like shame. They always have.

The afterthought. The charity case. Strange eyes. Odd temper.

You were the one who showed up on the doorstep with nothing but a trunk and a name no one knew how to say. You tried your best to earn your place, to blend in, to make yourself useful, but they still looked at you like you were something foreign. Something misplaced.

In the darkest corners of the night, you wished you’d never gotten the letter. That magic had skipped over you. That your name had never burned through that parchment. Never touched a wand. Maybe then, you could’ve had a normal life. One where you didn’t have to watch your adopted siblings shine in a world that only ever dimmed you.

Because then maybe, just maybe, you’d get to be normal.

Not this. Not the ghost haunting a place that was never yours. Not the muggle-born mistake among children who made spells sing on their tongues, while yours stuttered, cracked, and bled.

You didn’t even feel that you were crying.

Chaewon stares down at you with a cruel smirk, almost entertained by your tears. You’re frozen, your chest tightening, looking like a ghost of yourself. Pathetic. That’s probably what she’s thinking. Then she shoves you again hard. Your body hits the cold locker room tiles with a sickening thud, pain through your spine. You flinch, but you don’t even try to get up.

“Tell anyone,” she sneers, leaning down. “and you’ll regret it.”

They left you right after that.

No one would believe it anyway. You’ve spent your whole life fighting, pretending you're fine, building yourself up just to keep surviving. You wear strength like armor. But now?

Now you’re nothing but shattered pieces on the floor. No one saw you break. No one knows how hard you cried.

No one fucking knows.

"What?" Your voice comes out sharper than you meant, caught off guard.

It was the morning after — after everything and Jay had found you outside like he always does. The golden boy of Gryffindor, the one everyone seemed to adore without question. For months, he'd been chasing you. Sweet smiles, thoughtful words, persistent in his way. He asked you out more times than you could count and a month ago, you said yes.

That was why Chaewon hated you more now than ever.

Jay leans in across the picnic table, casual and unbothered like nothing had shifted in your world. Like you hadn’t spent the night before crumpled on a locker room floor, swallowing sobs and blood.

"I said you should sneak into my dorm later," he repeats. You blink at him. You had planned this picnic, thought maybe today would give you a moment of peace. A needed softness, but now his words float in the air like smoke, invasive and unexpected. He doesn’t notice the way your hands tremble slightly. Or if he does, he says nothing.

You swallow hard.

"Why would I do that? I could get caught," you say, your voice uneasy, the words tumbling out. Jay laughs, it was as if your nerves are a joke to him.

"Come on," he says, grinning. "It’s been a month now. I wanna be with you. Do that thing with you."

Your stomach turns. You might be naive but you’re not stupid. You open your mouth to say something, to maybe ask what he really means, to question the way he’s looking at you like he’s owed something, but he cuts you off. "If you really liked me, you’d do it too. You know?"

You look at him, stunned, like a deer caught in headlights. The boy you thought wanted you for you is now dangling your feelings like bait on a hook. "That... that won’t prove if I like you or not,"

"What do you mean?" he asks, brows furrowing. "So you don’t wanna do it?"

"Of course I would," you say quickly, your throat tightening. "But not right—"

"Not right now?" He scoffs, shaking his head. "That’s always your excuse."

"Excuse?"

He leans back, annoyed. "You know, if you don’t want me, just say it."

You freeze. His next words come out in a bitter, quiet mumble, like he doesn’t even realize he’s saying them aloud. "If this wasn’t for a stupid bet, I wouldn’t—"

"What?" Your voice is almost breathless. Cold rushes through your chest like someone ripped the air straight from your lungs. He doesn’t answer. His eyes widen, just for a second — just long enough to tell you everything you needed to know.

Your mind races. You remember the guilt that bloomed in your chest every time you turned him down, thinking you were the one being difficult. You remember how sad he looked when you said no, how it made you feel like you were failing him. How you apologized for it, over and over, thinking you were the one ruining things.

You remember trying, really trying to open up. The effort it took to prioritize someone else's wants over your own. The nights you rehearsed words in your head, how to say things gently, carefully, so he wouldn't feel rejected. You remember the ache of being left out, how his friends would talk around you like you were invisible. The silence when you spoke. The forced smiles when they laughed at jokes you didn’t understand because they were never meant for you.

You remember Chaewon's cruelty and you remember convincing yourself it was all worth it because he chose you.

"I was a fucking bet?" Your voice comes out hoarse. You stare at him, this boy who once looked like something good. Something kind. All that softness you thought you saw in him feels like a lie now.

You can feel the fire start to rise in your blood. You wore the same house colors.

"I—It was from the start, but then—"

“We’re done.” A blade slipped between the ribs.

You stand, your eyes focused on anything but him. You don’t look at the people beginning to notice, don’t care about the whispers. Your chest is hollow and screaming, but your face doesn’t show it. You walk the grounds like your heart isn’t shattering with every step.

You feel him behind you, his frantic footsteps, his form clinging to your shadow. You feel the stares, the weight of every eye on you.

"Can we please talk?" he pleads, his hand wraps around your wrist.

You turn your head and slap his face so hard it echoes. He doesn’t even get to process it before your foot collides with his, a sharp kick that throws him off balance. Pain, humiliation — all of it written across his face now for everyone to see.

“I said we’re done.” Your voice cracks but not out of weakness. It cracks from the sheer force of holding back everything you could’ve screamed. "You're evil."

He’s looking at you now like he’s the one broken. You turn, this time for good. Your body is trembling, anxiety crawling beneath your skin like a thousand needles, but your steps are steady. You're done.

Kai lounged on the stairway, tuning out the crude, drunken laughter of his housemates as they bragged about the girls they’d had the night before. Their voices blurred into nothing. His eyes scanned the grounds lazily, flashes of yellow, green, blue, red, the usual mess of students he barely cared to notice.

He saw you.

He saw you and remember how you cried that night.

He leaned forward without thinking, resting his chin on his hand, the world narrowing to just you. Everything else fell away against the blinding, face of yours. You moved with a kind of arrogance he recognized instantly: head high, steps sharp, like the world didn’t deserve you. The fire in your eyes. Typical of your house — spoiled, untouchable. He should’ve been bored.

He couldn’t look away. He couldn't stop hearing remembering your soft whimpers the night before.

A boy in red caught up to you, fumbling for your attention, desperate to be seen. Kai watched, as you turned to him with a look of pure disdain. The boy stammered something, like he was apologizing. You slapped him. Hard.

Kai’s mouth curved into a slow, wicked grin.

You didn’t stop there. You kicked the boy’s foot out from under him, angrily spat a few words he couldn’t catch, and walked off, not even glancing back. Kai’s eyes stayed locked on you, tracking every furious step you took across the grounds. You tried to hide it; the tremble in your hands, the way you blinked too fast but he caught it.

You're crying.

His chest tightened, something crawled under his skin. How much sweeter would it be if he were the one to do it? He could already picture it: your pride, your voice breaking, your pretty face crumpling; under his hands, under his mouth, under his name. Not for some sniveling boy, but for him.

Only him.

You didn’t even know his name. He stayed where he was, eyes following your broken form.

Kai had grown up as the only son of a pureblood family, where reputation bled deeper than blood, and control was not a suggestion but a rule etched into the spine of every morning. He was taught to be composed, restrained, untouchable — never too loud, never too soft. Smile, but not too often. Speak, but only when it matters. Feel, but never let it show.

He’d been raised that way.

His life was built on legacy. Emotions were weakness. Kindness was liability. He was not held, not comforted, not loved — only shaped.

They carved obedience into him like marble.

He watched his father hold entire rooms in silence with nothing but a stare. Watched him speak to people as if their existence was a favor, an inconvenience he barely tolerated and everyone listened. Everyone bowed. He learned early that power wasn’t just about magic.

He wore it well. Better than most.

He learned how to mimic empathy without feeling it. He learned how to laugh on cue, how to listen without caring, how to look someone in the eye while thinking of a thousand other things.

He drifted through life half-asleep, wearing the world like an ill-fitting coat. Friends, lovers, enemies; it was all noise. Meaningless. Predictable.

You were raw, undone, human. Everything he wasn’t. Everything he had been taught to crush.

What would it take to ruin you completely?

With every difiance in his body he stood up. He found himself taking step forward. Kai moved before he realized he was moving.

The sound of his housemates' laughter faded behind him, smothered under the pounding in his ears. He descended the steps with the same cold precision he was raised with, but something feral stirred beneath his ribs. His strides were steady, calculated, like a shadow stretching to meet its mark.

You were walking fast, too fast, your back stiff and your steps clipped. Anger clung to you like perfume, sharp and choking. He trailed you from a safe distance, ignoring the students who brushed past, oblivious. All he saw was the set of your shoulders, the shake in your hands. He could practically taste the heat radiating off you.

You turned a corner. So did he.

You passed the greenhouses, cut through the arch, your pace stuttering as if your own breath was betraying you. You didn’t notice him. Or maybe you did. Maybe you felt it — that feeling like you're being watched, hunted. The air changed around you.

Kai waited until you slowed near the old stone path that led toward the empty wing of the castle. Then he spoke.

His voice didn’t waver. “Why did you hit him?”

You stopped walking.He watched your back rise with a breath, then you turned.

Your eyes met. For the first time.

Up close, you looked even more dangerous. Even more breakable. Fire and ruin, cloaked in pride. Your lips were trembling, but your jaw was clenched. He took a slow step closer, tilting his head slightly, studying your face like it was a spell he hadn’t learned yet. Something unreadable flickered in your eyes — recognition? fear? anger?

He spoke again. “Is he the one who made you cry?”

Your fingers curled at your sides. You narrowed your eyes, not answering, as if silence could keep you safe.

Kai smiled, cruel. “You're not very good at hiding it.”

“I heard you last night,” he said, voice so calm it almost sounded kind. “In the hallway. You were crying.”

Your expression twisted. “Were you spying on me?”

“Observing,” he corrected, as if it mattered. “You’re... difficult to ignore.”

You scowled and turned to walk away, but this time he moved,faster than you expected, cutting into your path. “Your name,” he said. “Tell me.”

You stared at him like he was insane. Like something in him wasn't right and you were right. Something wasn't right. “What, so you can tell your little pureblood friends? Have a laugh?”

“So I'll know what to call you.”

Your breath hitched. He didn’t smile this time. His eyes dropped to your mouth, then back to your eyes. He could see it, the flicker of panic behind your bravado, the instinct to run, the ache in your throat from holding everything in. And yet, you didn’t move. You stayed rooted.

Still burning. Still human.

Still too much for someone like him.

“You're insane,” you said.

“I've been told.” Kai murmured. The wind caught your hair, brushing it across your cheek. His fingers twitched, like he wanted to reach out and touch it, feel if it was as soft as it looked, feel if you would flinch. “Tell me your name,” he said again.

You stared at him for a long time. Seconds stretched like hours. A war in your eyes, as you spoke your name. Maybe if you gave him your name, he would leave you alone.

“Wasn’t hard,” he said softly, almost mockingly. “Was it?”

He stared at you for a second longer, and when you didnt answer him he turned and walked away; no grand gestures, no parting words. A slow retreat, like he’d taken exactly what he came for. You stayed frozen in place, blinking hard, as if shaking off some invisible fog. The anger you felt with Jay minutes ago completely erased in your mind.

You told yourself he was just another entitled, pureblood brat playing mind games. But somehow… you knew he wasn’t done with you.

It was a surprise that you didn't cry a tear when you returned to your dorms that night.

The sun filtered through the high windows in thin, silver lines, catching on the dust that hovered in the still morning air. Breakfast chatter filled the Great Hall.

You walked in alone. As usual.

Your boots echoed softly against the stone as you passed through the threshold, robes hanging heavy off one shoulder, the collar of your uniform just slightly wrinkled. Your hair was pulled back, but loose strands clung to your cheeks from where you’d barely bothered to dry it. There were shadows under your eyes. A bruise of exhaustion, of restraint.

People noticed. They always did.

You could feel it, the way heads tilted toward each other when they thought you weren’t looking, how eyes followed you just long enough to make your skin crawl. It wasn’t new.

That’s her, they’d whisper. Muggleborn. Dangerous. Did you hear what she did to that Golden boy? How dare she?

You could’ve explained. You could’ve said he tricked you. Said he turned you into a bet, but you’d learned a long time ago, they never really wanted your side of the story.

You crossed the room, spine straight, steps controlled, passing the long tables like you didn’t notice the silence blooming around you like mold. You sat at the edge of your table. Your plate filled with food, untouched by your hand. A flick of your fingers beneath the table, no wand. No words.

A few first-years flinched.

Your fingers hovered over the rim of your goblet, then curled back. You weren’t hungry. You hadn’t slept much. A voice still rang in your head like a spell that hadn’t worn off.

“So I'll know what to call you.”

Kai sat three tables over, surrounded by his housemates; all perfectly-groomed pureblood sons and daughters of old families, boys with bloodlines like poisoned roots. He wasn’t speaking. He rarely did, but his gaze was fixed on you like a blade laid flat across your skin. He didn’t look smug. He didn’t smirk. He just watched. As if you were something worth waiting for.

You held his gaze. Steadily.

He didn’t look away. The last time you locked eyes with someone like that, they ended up on the floor, clutching their ribs, coughing blood, but Kai didn’t flinch.

He simply raised a single brow, like he was inviting you to do it. Daring you. Testing the temperature of your fury. You clenched your jaw and shoved your chair back, the scrape echoing louder than it should’ve.

Screw the eggs. Screw the toast. Screw this whole bloody castle and the way it always stank of legacy and rot.

And just as you stood, “Filthy little freak. Thinks she’s special.”

Your fingers twitched. You didn’t need a wand. The goblet in front of the boy crushed. Water soaked his robes. Gasps echoed. You didn’t look back. You kept walking.

You weren’t afraid of what you could do. You were afraid of how easy it was now.

The doors slammed behind you as you left the Great Hall, but you didn’t get far. You’d barely made it into the courtyard, “Well, if it isn’t our little wandless wonder.” The steps behind you were deliberate. Stiletto-sharp. The sound of privilege. You turned around.

Chae-won stood there, arms folded, robes pristine, her platinum hair twisted in a perfect knot that screamed power. Her prefect badge gleamed on her chest like it mattered. And behind her, always behind her. trailed two other girls.

“Chae-won,” you said flatly.

Her smile was razor-thin. “Did you think we wouldn’t hear? Poor Jay.”

“What?”

“You slapped him. Humiliated him. In front of everyone,” she hissed. “He was apologizing, you freak.”

“You know nothing.”

Chae-won’s eyes narrowed. “Oh, please. He did something, or what? That gives you the right to act like some dark creature in the middle of the grounds?”

You didn’t flinch. “I said you know nothing.”

Chae-won blinked, her voice lowered to something crueler. “So? Do we care about a mudblood like you?”

You looked at her. Really looked. And wondered how many people had handed her the world and called it earned. You remember the first year you were friends, the first year she knew all of you, and the once smile on your face whenever you see her. It all became a blur when people looked at you as a misfit.

Your hands twitched again.

“You planning to explode something else?” Chae-won taunted. “Go on. Show us what you can do. Everyone’s already terrified. Might as well give them a real show.”

You stepped forward. “You want to know the difference between you and me?” Chae-won raised a brow.

“I have power. You just have a last name.”

Her jaw tightened, but before she could respond, before she could reach for her wand or hurl another insult, a voice broke through from behind: “Chae-won.” She froze.

Kai stood a few feet away, arms crossed, eyes locked not on her but on you.

“I’d stop if I were you,” he said, calm, lazy, terrifying.

Chae-won blinked like she hadn’t heard him right. “Excuse me?”

“I’m not repeating myself,” His shoulder brushed yours, intentional as he passed and stood between you and her. Not defending you, but as if staking a claim.

Chae-won’s face burned. “This has nothing to do with you, Kai.”

“It does.”

She stood there for a second, jaw clenched, then scoffed. “Figures. Your house never know where to keep your standards.” Then with one last look at you, all venom and fury, she turned and stormed off, her little shadows flurrying after her.

You looked at Kai. “You didn’t have to do that.”

He didn’t look at you. “I didn’t do it for you.” And yet, he was still standing there. Still between you and the world.

You hated how you lived your years.

You hated the way your life had built itself around survival; around silence, around swallowing things that no one else ever seemed to choke on. You hated that you were born like this, like a wrong answer in a question nobody asked.

You hated that once, long ago, you’d called Chae-won your friend. That you’d laughed with her, studied with her, braided her hair in the dormitory mirror. You hated that she knew all the parts of you worth breaking and now she used them like blades.

You hated that even now being Muggleborn wasn’t enough. Wasn’t already a mark on your back. No, you had to be different, too. You had to wield wandless, wordless magic, the kind they couldn’t control, couldn’t track, couldn’t replicate and that made them stare, like you were unnatural.

You hated that, out of all the people in this castle, the one who wouldn’t look away was him.

Kai. A stranger. A Slytherin. A boy born with a silver knife in his mouth, and the gall to look at you like he saw past your fury, like he saw you about to break.

You walked away; fast, sharp steps that echoed off the stone corridor — hoping he wouldn’t follow.

He did.

You didn’t stop him. You hated that, too.

You didn’t speak, didn’t glance back, you kept walking until the hallway emptied behind you. Until there were no portraits, no prefects, no Chae-won, no whispering mouths. A stone and silence and the feeling of someone watching you like a match watches a flame.

When you reached the end of the corridor, where the light didn’t quite reach and the air felt still and forgotten, you stopped. Your shoulders rose once, then fell. The first sob cracked out of your chest so violently it startled even you.

You tried to cover it, your hand flying up to your mouth, like that would make it less pathetic, but it didn’t matter. You were already shaking, already crying, already too human to stop it now.

Behind you, he didn’t say anything.

You sank down against the wall slowly, like your legs had given out — not from fear, not from pain but from carrying it all too long. The silence between you pulsed, thick and unkind, and still he stayed. No comfort. No lies.

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” you whispered, not even knowing if you meant your life, or this day, or this moment. Maybe all of it. You could feel his eyes on you. You could feel the way he was listening.

“What do you want from me?” you asked, voice raw.

You wiped your cheek with the back of your hand, angry at yourself for crying like this in front of him of all people. Your lips trembled, and your vision blurred, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look away.

And Kai just sat there.

Watching. Unmoving. Unbothered.

Or so you thought.

Kai exhaled slowly, like a man tired of waiting, because watching you; ruined, furious, crying and still managing to burn like a goddamn wildfire — it made something unravel inside him. Something unholy. Something that clawed its way up from beneath all the manners and legacy and careful obedience.

You, with your defiance. You, with your trembling hands and splintering voice. You, who didn’t even look his way.

You felt too much. You burned too brightly. You cracked in places he didn’t understand. You cried like it meant something. You fought like the world still owed you something soft.

A single, smooth motion and before you could ask what he was doing, before you could read the shift in his expression, he was standing over you. Looking down at you like you were a problem he couldn’t solve, like you were noise in his carefully constructed world of silence.

His jaw twitched. “I don’t like messy things,”

You opened your mouth, to apologize, to yell, to tell him to leave but your voice didn’t come.

Instead, he crouched down. Slowly. His hand reached out, not toward your face, but beside it, bracing against the wall near your shoulder, boxing you in. His other hand hovered near your chin, pausing midair. A breath. A hesitation. Something nearly human.

He kissed you.

Your fingers curled in the fabric of your robes. Your chest ached from the sobs you hadn’t finished, from the weight of the day, from the way his mouth pressed against yours like it was the only language he knew.

It wasn’t sweet. It was hungry.

He tasted like someone who hadn’t felt anything in years and hated that you made him want to. His hand moved to your jaw, holding it, not harsh but unrelenting.

His breath was unsteady when he pulled back. So was yours.

Your tear-slick lashes fluttered as you stared at him, chest rising and falling with everything you hadn’t said, everything you didn’t understand.

Kai didn’t blink. You didn't too.

You weren’t sure who looked more shaken.

“Stop crying,” he said. “It ruins your face.”

It was past curfew when the door creaked open.

A soft, deliberate sound, barely loud enough to disturb the quiet hum of sleeping breaths in the girls' dorm. The enchanted lanterns were low, casting dull golden shadows across the hardwood floor.

You were curled on your side, blanket kicked off, facing the wall like it might protect you from the dreams that had been growing more vivid lately — filled with brown eyes, the weight of a stare, the press of a mouth that never should have touched yours.

It has been a week since he kissed you, and all he did now was consume you.

You heard a slow footstep across the floorboards that didn’t belong. You sat up in an instant. Your hand instinctively curled, breath caught in your throat.

It was him.

Kai stood there leaning just inside the doorway like he owned the place. His eyes flicked over the room, over the slumbering forms of your roommates, and then back to you.

You were too stunned to speak. He shut the door behind him with a careful click.

“You can’t be here,” you whispered.

“Then tell me to leave.” He said it like he already knew you wouldn’t.

He didn’t move toward you. “I won’t skulk around and pretend I don’t know what I want.”

You swallowed hard, suddenly aware of how your heart was hammering. Of the ache in your hands from clenching them too tight under the blanket. Of the way you hadn’t breathed properly in hours.

His voice lowered. “I wanted to see you.”

You looked at him then. Really looked. His hair was messy from wind or sleep, his collar half-open. His expression, unreadable as ever, but void of any smug.

His look scared you more than any smirk ever had.

You were walking to your next class, trying to keep your head down, your thoughts together, your breathing even.

Kai walked beside you. Beside you. Shoulder to shoulder, step for step, like he belonged there and he wasn’t hiding it, either. He was adamant in the way he moved.

You rounded the corner and saw them.

Jay was seated on the ledge just outside the main stairwell, one arm slung lazily around Chae-won’s waist as she perched in his lap. They looked like a painting, like every pureblood fantasy the school worshiped. Perfect posture, perfect hair, perfect detachment. Chae-won was smiling; a perfect, cold little curve of her mouth that never quite reached her eyes while Jay just stared.

He saw you before you saw him. His gaze locked with yours, cold and pointed, like you’d wronged him. As if he were the victim. Chae-won didn’t even glance your way, but she leaned in just enough to whisper something in his ear, and though he didn’t smile, something in his jaw flexed. His hand tightened on her hip and suddenly, you couldn’t breathe.

Your vision went blurry. Your throat tightened. The corridor felt too bright, too narrow, the sounds too loud, too far away. Your breath stuttered; shallow, clipped, your heart racing like you’d been running.

Kai's gaze move from your face to your hands, where they clenched and twitched at your sides. You tried to blink it all away, tried to keep walking like nothing was happening, but your body had betrayed you.

“Has this happened before?” His voice came low.

You didn’t answer. Couldn’t. Your limbs felt heavy and useless, and the corridor seemed to stretch further with every step. You were floating and falling all at once. You barely noticed when his hand reached for you, until you felt his fingers wrap around your wrist — not tightly, not to restrain, but to feel.

He pressed his thumb lightly over the spot just above your pulse. He didn’t need words to know. The panic was there, thundering under your skin, alive and frantic and loud enough to silence everything else. His brow furrowed. “You’re panicking.”

The words landed heavy, simple and precise. You flinched like he’d struck a nerve, tried to pull your arm back, but he didn’t let go.

“You don’t get to worry about me,” you snapped, voice sharp and broken at the edges, as if saying it out loud could make it true.

Kai tilted his head, expression unreadable. He didn’t react to your words. He didn’t need to. He just looked at you like you were the one thing in this corridor that mattered. And then he said, calm and quiet, “Continue walking with me.”

It wasn’t a plea. It wasn’t even a request and you hated that your legs obeyed before your mind could fight it. Hated that some fragile part of you wanted to keep walking, if only he stayed beside you.

You closed your eyes for half a second, just enough for the tears to sting. You wouldn’t let them fall, not here, not with them still behind you but your chest ached, and the shame pressed hot against your throat.

His hand found yours again.

His fingers slipped through yours like it was instinct, and then he held on careful, steady, like he was holding something breakable. You kept walking. One step after the other.

He walked with you ike the entire castle wasn’t watching, but even if they were, he didn’t let go.

“So, you’re Kai’s girlfriend?”

You looked up from the ancient, half-crumbling book in your hand and blinked at the girl now standing beside you in the dim library aisle. She was dressed in green and silver and wore the kind of smile that had probably gotten her everything she ever wanted.

“Pretty,” she added, tilting her head slightly, eyes raking over you not with curiosity.

“I’m not,” you replied evenly, turning back to the shelf, hoping she’d take the hint but her presence didn’t waver. You could feel her shadow shift with yours. She followed as you stepped further down the aisle, her footsteps light but intentional.

“I’m Yunjin, by the way,” she said. Her voice had that lilting quality warm, but not soft. “I always see him around you. I mean, everyone’s noticed. It’s kind of hard to miss, the whole... obsession he has with you.”

Your fingers paused mid-reach. Obsession?

“And I guess,” she continued casually, “that must be the reason he stopped seeing me.”

“…What?” The word left your mouth before you could hold it in, too stunned to coat it in disinterest.

“Oh, don’t worry.” She gave a light, musical laugh. “It wasn’t serious. Kai doesn’t do serious. He’s unwell. Emotionally, I mean. Brilliant, but broken. The type of boy you keep behind glass until he cuts you with it.” She said it like she knew. Like she’d bled.

You stared at her. Her smile didn’t falter. If anything, it widened. “But I do see something different now,” she added, “He looks at you… differently.”

You expected cruelty to follow. A sharp comment tucked behind a smile. A passive-aggressive jab meant to draw blood beneath the surface because that’s how it usually came, wasn’t it? From the people who knew how to dress poison up in perfume.

You thought of Chae-won. A girl from your own house. People from your own house who doesn't even dare to smile at you. It was strange, wasn’t it? That someone from your own house had been so much crueler than the students from the house everyone warned you about.

So much crueller than Kai. Than Yunjin.

“Why are you being kind to me?” you asked, the words tumbling out before you could stop them.

Yunjin tilted her head like she was trying to decide whether to laugh again. Then, with a small shrug, she said, “What?”

You held her gaze, unflinching.

She exhaled through her nose, almost amused. “Oh. Yeah.” There was a flicker of something beneath her expression then something real. “I’m ambitious,” she said. “And if being ambitious makes me a bad person… then I guess I’m a Slytherin.”

You were sitting in your bed, knees tucked loosely to your chest, the blankets crumpled around you like a forgotten thought. The castle was quieter than usual. Music pulsed faintly from somewhere down the hall. There was a party for your batch tonight; a celebration, one you were meant to attend, smile through, pretend for.

Instead, you were here. Alone.

You were counting the minutes.

The door opened without urgency, a soft sound not trying to sneak, not trying to impress. You didn’t turn your head. You didn’t need to. You already knew who it was.

Kai stood in the doorway like the rest of the room didn’t matter. His eyes swept across the space, landed on you, on your still form in the sheets, on the way your gaze had already been waiting for him.

“You knew I would come,” he said.

“Yes,”

He strode toward you with his usual measured grace, never rushed, never nervous and you moved slightly on the bed. “You never told me anything about you,” you said, and your voice didn’t accuse, “You’re always around. You help me. You... show up but you never talk.”

Kai looked at you, and there was something different in his eyes tonight. “What do you want to know?” he asked.

You didn’t blink. “You.”

There was a long pause.

Long enough that you thought he wouldn’t answer. Long enough to feel the ache of expectation rise in your chest, but then Kai huffed, soft through his nose, and there was a shape to it that almost — almost — sounded like a laugh. Not the full thing, but the ghost of it.

You wondered, not for the first time, what he sounded like when he really laughed.

Your eyes flicked to the empty space beside you, and you shifted further inward on the bed, a small movement, but clear.

He caught it.

He sat on the edge of your bed, hands resting on his thighs, the weight of him sinking into the mattress beside you. His posture was still too careful, still too contained, but he was there.

“I don’t talk about myself,” he said suddenly.

You didn’t answer. You knew better than to fill silence that didn’t ask to be filled. Kai exhaled softly, the sound shallow. Measured. Then he looked up, his eyes distant but focused on you, like he was reading from a page only he could see. “I was raised to be an heir. Not a person.”

You didn’t flinch. He noticed that. It made him keep going.

“My father were strict. He didn’t believe in wasting time on things like comfort, or affection. If I cried, he said it was noise. If I asked questions, he told me to read faster. If I smiled too easily, he asked if I was bored, or foolish.” He paused. Not for effect. To breathe.

“He had this saying. You were not born to be loved. You were born to lead. And I repeated it to myself every morning. For years. Until it didn’t sound like cruelty anymore.” he shakes his head, “When I was five, I learned how to duel with a real wand. When I was seven, he started leaving me alone in the manor for days. Said it would teach me independence. I didn’t speak to anyone for weeks.”

His voice didn’t shake. Not once. He didn’t sound angry. He didn’t even sound sad. He sounded like someone explaining the weather. Like grief was just another season he’d already lived through.

“I don’t know how to talk about feelings,” he admitted. “I know how to talk around them. How to look someone in the eye and not let them touch a single part of me.”

He looked at you again. “But then I saw you.” The words weren’t loud. They weren’t dramatic. “I didn’t mean to care. I don’t know how to. But I do. I hear your voice in my head even when I try to ignore it. I look for you when you’re not around.”

“And when you’re upset, I want to fix it.” His hands unclasped slowly, then gripped the edge of the bed. “I want to fix it because it’s you.”

You moved closer. He didn’t stop you. He just looked at you like you were the first warmth in a life made of glass and granite and rules. “I hate how much I feel now,” he admitted. “But I don’t want to go back.”

His words made you reach out the back of his neck and pull him to you. You hugged him and you let out a shaky breath. "I'm here. I'm here Kai."

Two strong arms snaked around your waist as soon as you said those words, and Kai's lips were against your nape. He left trails of kisses on your neck up to the back of your ears, his body pressed on yours. "Good."

He presses a few more soft kisses to the back of your head, then his voice drops to a whisper against your ear. “Can I touch you?” Your breath hitches, but you nod. His hand slips beneath your shirt, fingers brushing lightly across your stomach. “Can I touch you here?” he asks, voice gentle.

You nod again, barely able to get the word out. “Yeah.”

His hand travels higher, fingertips gliding up until they meet the bare curve of your chest. He pauses, just long enough to make your heart race. His lips are at your neck now, breath hot. “Here too?”

When he feels you nod, his hand moves with more purpose, fingertips gliding over the curve of your breast. He cups you fully, palm warm, thumb brushing the softness, squeezing just enough to make you arch subtly into his touch. He teases, exploring everywhere except where you need him most, drawing out the ache with every careful touch. When his fingers finally graze your nipple, a quiet moan slips from your lips before you can stop it. He pauses, his breath brushing against your neck. “You can tell me to stop anytime.”

Then he pulls his hand away from under your shirt, and the sudden absence makes you whine, your body instinctively chasing after his warmth. Before you can speak, he cups your face gently, tilting your head until your eyes meet. It’s dark but he's close, so close — you can make out the shape of his face, the softness in his gaze.

He leans in, brushing a featherlight kiss over your lips. Then another. You smile softly, breath mingling, and when your lips part, he takes it as invitation. This time the kiss is deep — hungry. His mouth moves against yours with desperation, like he’s been craving your taste for far too long. His hand finds your waist, tugging you closer, bodies aligning in all the right ways as the heat between you builds.

“I want you,” you whisper, voice barely there, lost in the way his lips trail along your neck, warm and wet. “Please.”

He pauses just enough to meet your gaze, then his hand slips between your thighs, cupping you through the fabric. The pressure makes your hips jerk, breath hitching.

“Here?” he murmurs, rubbing slow, teasing circles. “You want me here?”

It’s too much, and not enough. Heat pools low in your belly, a need that feels raw and overwhelming. You nod, biting your lip, your voice trembling. “Yes. There. Please.”

He groans, low and deep, and that’s when clothes start disappearing—slowly, messily. Every layer peeled off is interrupted by his mouth; on your lips, your jaw, your collarbones. His hands, greedy and gentle all at once, explore you like he’s memorizing every inch. The room is filled with nothing but breath, the soft rustle of fabric, the occasional hitch of a moan.

When he finally sinks lower, eyes locked on yours as his lips trace a burning path down your body, you don’t stop him.

“Kai…” You moaned as you clenched your fist on his dark locks. His tongue was doing to your buds as his fingers part your wet folds. You don't know what it is, but it makes your legs quivered as his tongue lapped at your entrance.

Kai grunts as he hears your soft moans, sucking on your clit to hear more. Your taste in his mouth got him drunk as he shook his head from side to side, making your moans go higher as you moved your hips to grind your wetness on his tongue. "Hmm?"

He pulled back, replacing his tongue with his thumb, rubbing her wet clit as he kissed and sucked your inner thighs. Your eyes rolled back as your chest rose up and down, glistening with sweat.

You're fucking beautiful. Kai thought as he looked up at you with hooded eyes. The sight of your blushing cheeks, eyes asking for more with your lips between your teeth made Kai slightly rut his hips on the bed.

"Do you know how long have I imagined this?" He pumped a finger inside your pussy, curling it to hit your spot as he put his mouth back to work again, flattening his tongue over your swollen pearl before flicking it with the tip. You cried out in pleasure, throwing your head back.

“I couldn't help myself but think of you.” He begged as he doubled the finger inside your soaking cunt, making you cry out in pleasure as your hands grabbed the pillow under your head.

“I can't resist having all of you.” He kissed your clit, making you whimper at the brief contact. He took off his shirt and pants before pulling you by your arm, sitting you on his lap as he took off your blouse and bra. He kissed around your nipple before taking it into his mouth, moaning at the taste of you.

He moved your position to grind on his bulge, letting out quiet moans as he desperately kissed you. He stopped your hips as he moved to your other nipple, lightly biting it while staring at your glossy eyes, making your breath hitch. He hummed as he sucked the pebbled flesh into his mouth, nibbling on it. He laid your back down, admiring your body as you panted. Your eyes are glistening, and so is your cunt. He groaned at the sight, pushing his hair back and taking his erected cock out of its confinement. He pumped it a few times before you sat up and took it into your hand.

“Let me make you feel good.” Kai stopped your hand, giving a kiss on your forehead. “Fuck.” He murmured as he moved to your lips, sucking on them, making you whimper as you laid back down again.

“Kai, please…” You cried when Kai started to rub his shaft on your slit. Every time his head hits your bud, you let out a whimper, eyebrows furrowed and eyes wide as you look up at him.

Kai took his time, grunting before pushing the tip inside. You gasped, grabbing the sheets under, feeling the pain as his length invade you. Your walls fluttered around his cock, making him let out low growls. You felt tears in your eyes as you watched half of his length disappear inside you. Kai took your hand, intertwining your fingers. He kissed your tears.

“Am I hurting you?” Kai shushed when you hissed, feeling a hint of pain as he filled you. His other hand began rubbing circles on your clit to ease the burn from the stretch.

"No,"

Kai kissed your hand when he was entirely in, giving you time to adjust. You look gorgeous underneath him. Legs wide open,mouth slightly parted, and body glistening under the dim lights of his room.

Kai started moving slowly when you nod your head, until your whimpers turned into moans. His name echoed in whispers, as you clawed on the skin of his back, leaving red marks. He was cradling your head, and his lips pressed on your ear. He was whispering the sweetest things to you.

“The things you do to me,” Kai whispers, kissing your ear lobes. "I can't even look at anyone else now."

“Yes, yes, Kai, please…” You begged as his hips started to thrust harder into you.

“Fuck.” He groaned, feeling your walls clench around him. He could tell that you were both close. Your walls spasmed around him, and his thrust started to stutter.

“Look at me.” He stared into your eyes, feeling your orgasm take over your body. His mouth reaches for your sweet lips, your toes curling as your legs wrap around his waist. Kai thrustied into you a few more times before pulling out to spill his thick load on your thighs.

It was slow, and it was soft, the way he helped you clean up. No magic. Just his hands and yours, sleeves rolled up, fingers brushing as you folded the same blanket twice just to have an excuse to linger near each other. The silence between you wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t awkward. It was full.

Your scent clung to the air; a little floral, a little tangy, something warm and alive, like late spring clinging to skin. It was in the sheets, in the corners of the room, in him. He’d never been the type to notice things like that, but here he was, trying to memorize how the air felt with you in it.

You were fussing with the pillows now, distracted, focused on symmetry but he was just watching you.

“I’m going to work every day,” His voice was low, almost rough with restraint. “I’ll work every fucking day, just to follow you.”

You feel your eyes burn.

“I’ll learn how to move the way you do. I’ll learn how to speak the way you understand. I’ll change the way I live if that’s what it takes. Every single day, I’ll do it, just to fit you.”

“Why?” you asked, voice almost a whisper. “Why would you change for me?”

Kai’s eyes found yours. “Because you made me want to,”

It's the truest thing he’d ever said in his life.

taglist: @heesmiles , @lovingbeomgyudayone , @virtaideen , @hyukascampfire , @fancypeacepersona , @bamgeutori , @lilbrorufr , @beomieeeeeeeeeeees , @xylatox , @yunverie , @imlonelydontsendhelp , @moagyuu , @immelissaaa , @readinmidnight , @pagelets , @wonderstrucktae , @boba-beom , @seodami , @izzyy-stuff , @gyudollies , @i-am-not-dal , @page-isa , @tyunarisu , @s0urcherry , @lostgirlysstuff , @tinycatharsis , @randomheyl @txtsoobean , @bweargyuu ,

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[patchworkpoison]

lightbright :3 !!

[perilegs]

wait i read ur tag and i am so curious! u say “its like when u say ur eating tortillas but u dont mean just the bread” but i cant figure out what u mean, ive only ever seen tortilla = tortilla. do u use tortilla to refer to like quesadillas also? tortilla + cheese?

ahh this might be a finnish (+some other countries) thing. if you're, for example hanging out with friends, and you decide to "make tortillas" it doesnt mean making the bread from scratch, but getting those pre-made tortillas (the bread) and putting filling in them like this

the 2nd pic is a tortilla package and as you can see they do sell the bread with the name tortilla as they should, but people just refer to wraps made with tortillas as tortillas here. quesadillas are quesadillas though!

[lokh]

kiba never really came off as. being actually confident to me?

[outfoxt]

Would love to hear about potential parallel stories/lore in judaism 👁👁👁👁💞

i realized that i actually havent thought very in depth about parallels and themes in the bible in a LONG time but let me think...

one that jumped to the forefront of my mind is something that idk if its a theme/parallel or not, but it has to do with moses. in the torah (really in the talmud i think which is a bunch of rabbi's headcanons about the torah that were then accepted as canon later on), when moses was taken in by pharaoh a test was performed to see whether moses would overthrow him, and by extension whether he was safe to keep and raise. that test was to show baby moses two pots: one of gold and riches and one of hot coals, and whichever he grabbed would be indicative as to what kind of son he'd be. so obviously, being a baby, moses starts to go for the shiny stuff. but (so the story goes) since moses has plot armor an angel (of death [?]) reached out and moved his hand to the hot coals. this is important because not only did it secure his safety to grow up under pharaoh's watch, but it burned his hand, which he then put in his mouth which permanantly burned his tongue and gave him a lisp. now the lisp isnt really talked about much more until later on, and its kind of minor so i get why its often left out, but it changes the whole feeling of the story! because of the lisp, moses gets nervous to speak in front of pharaoh's mages, and so it's aaron who does the talking when they turn their staffs into snakes. it's aaron (iirc) who speaks to the hebrews and tells them the word of god. moses is the one who speaks directly to god and does his bidding in the stories, but aaron is the one who conveys the information. and AND i just remembered this continues!! it continues to be true that moses doesnt always tell his own story!! in the scientific world it is generally accepted that there are a few different authors/compilers of the torah, but in judaism there is one main accepted truth of how it was written with two endings: moses wrote the whole thing up until the last chapter when he was on mount sinai, writing down word for word what god told him to. the ending, though, changes because at the end of the bible moses dies there is a debate over whether moses wrote his own death before it happened (since god is omnipresent blah blah blah) or whether joshua took over for him after he died. if the latter is true, that would be the second time someone tells moses' story for him!! first aaron tells the mages and the hebrews who moses is and why he was sent to save them, and then joshua tells the story of his death and his exile from the holy land! there are THEMES and MOTIFS i can SEE THEM

i have no idea if this is what you were asking for but thank you for inviting me to infodump XD <3

[assless-chapstick]

Hellooo! Just wanted to say I love you’re Fics. You’re writing is so damn good, along with the smut. (Very hard for me to write) is very impressive! Any more fics in the pimple line?

feller I'm so glad you enjoyed them!! I really enjoyed writing and sharing them and I'm tryna get that fire back !!

since my Kîyanaw series turned 4 this year, I was brainstorming some ideas and was thinking about another part...

like 8 years on Arthur and Charles have made good, they've got a herd of cattle now and have hired on a couple hands (the sons of the old spinsters what helped them get their start) and they ain't just homesteaders no more but real ranchers. They're comfortable - maybe Arthur has even seriously started working on illustrations of herbs and wildflowers, fixing to get them published as a field guide or something...

anyway they're comfy and happy and living a charmed life... the RCMP come around some times, and it still gets their hackles up, but they're ok.

And then one day they get a letter.

Charles had been at the post office, picking up some parcels, sending out one of Arthur's illustrations to the publisher maybe, making smalltalk with the postmaster. And the postmaster he goes like "hey you fellers employ drifters and the like up at your place, right? anyone pass through by the name of Tacitus Kilgore?"

and that's how they get word, a sneaky letter from Sadie, that she's alive. That John and Abigail and lil Jackie - who must be what, shit, fourteen? - are still alive.

and shit happens they head down there and Arthur and John have a super emotionally fraught reunion cuz like, John is so happy to see him but so fuckin angry because he thought Arthur had died, and then because he feels like Arthur abandoned him like, why didn't you look for me? You say up there on your fancy fuckin ranch for eight god damned years and you never thought to look for me?

And this is at the point when Abigail and Jack aren't around and John is tryna build that house... and just such a super low point so it's very emotional and hard on him and he's mad but only cuz that's how all his emotions present themselves djbdbdbd

and then Charles and Arthur help him build the house and there's one night, just one where John is drunk(er than usual) and lamenting the loss of his family and he turns to Arthur for comfort the same way he always has and then John is kissing on Arthur's neck by the light of the fire and Arthur's hands are on John's hips to push him away but he looks over John's shoulder at Charles and they communicate in that quiet, sacred way they do...

and Charles is a sex freak who loves to watch so he watches as Arthur fucks John in this way where it's like, this is a relationship that is so unnameable... it's not just friendship not just fraternity it's like there's this connection where Arthur is the only person in the world who knows John the way John knows Arthur... so he fucks him and Charles watches and then they all make out

and in the morning John pretends it never happened like "I'm gonna get my wife back... I'm just not the type to share. Sorry Charles" and like it was just this one time thing and it gives John the willpower to carry on and hustle for his family dhhfhf idk that's just my idea

and then I had an idea too for just a fun one shot of John/Arthur gunplay where Arthur takes the cold barrel of his revolver and runs it along the bony jut of John's hip bone where it peeks over the waistband of his pants.... and he calls John the ugliest sonofabitch he's ever seen and spits on his face even as he so gently gathers John's hair up in his hand so John can open his mouth so Arthur can gently gently fuck it with his gun and then maybe also his dick

idk mister I'm just in a fun goofy mood that's what's been on my mind lately!! thanks for asking!!

[truckstoptigers]

i remember i'd hear about how my state is one of the most dangerous places in terms of sex trafficking and i would think, what an awful thing. how terrible is it that my state has such an issue with trafficking that it's enough for it to be a well-known, well-documented serious danger/risk area.

and i still didn't think it would ever happen to me.

[todayisafridaynight]

GORGEOUS case bro I've never seen one with a continuous design like that and the embossment itself is so tasteful... always happy to see Mr. Dunkulous too <3

ALSO AYO YOU WATCHED MONDAY? How was it? Either way you're almost done with the Sabu Tsutsumi catalogue then... that's epic... I'm glad you liked Destiny too, it really is such a cute movie

Also I'm pretty sure PS4 preloads are open too BUT I'm still salty Xbox gets it a day early </3

Its one of the first designs i ran into while looking up wallet cases LMAO lucky me me thinks…. Its very pretty <3 mr dunkulous here to stay and keep me company lest i totally lose my mind <3<3

AND I DID i mentioned so durin stream yesterday ! i REALLY loved it, sabu keeps putting ttm in terrible situations and it makes me giddy seeing him panic 🥰 AND DESTINY WAS ADORABLE it was so cute….. really wholesome and what my soul needed….

OH PS4 PRELOADS OPEN ? Ill check it out when i get home later……. Why does xbox get it a day early thats rude me thinks…..

[gibbearish]

i know it was a joke that is sort of understandable in context so im not gonna say anything on the post itself. but boy seeing someone say "i'm also down with murdering a few actors if it leads to better movies" REALLY rubs me the wrong way

[hauntingblue]

Santiago and lestat having a diva off the second he steps on stage....

[love13tter]

fav caleb xia fics bc im a lover girl ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

art is by 绝世西瓜 (xhs id 117998996) ˚ . ⊹ ⋆

im a certified baby apple girl Ok i know what i like & whats good so i will kindly share these to the world!! this is for my caleb lovers and pseudocest enjoyers

psa i refer to caleb w nicknames like colonel silly / silly / apple boy etc !! in case ur confused lol ,, ♡ are my absolute favs !! ,,

(,,>﹏<,,) ao3 fics

sugar pit by knightjpg

9.6k words, pseudo-incest, more sex leaning, angry angsty mc at caleb & colonel silly cant bring himself to get angry (i love him)

rotary devotion by kirketeer ♡

35.1k words, very poetry esque, my kind of devotion (aka kinda scary type!!! wanting to live in his skin, being near him/skin touching not being enough etc), sooo angsty from silly’s pov, dont read this if u dont want to be hit with an intense amount of sadness and worry (affectionately)

he ain’t heavy (he’s my—) by kirketeer ♡

8.3k, REALLY poetry esque (so my fav fic by default!), dunno how to explain but the metaphors towards caleb & reader being synonyms + antonyms is making my head spin, dynamic is sooo sweet! kirketeer is a rly good world builder so ure immediately in it all the way (which i love)

the taste of a forbidden fruit (i offer you my heart, bruised and bitten) series by luvl3ss ,, my favs below

> ikaw lang: 1k words, caleb is still caleb, reminds me of this one quote abt how loving someone is having to grieve every version of them :’)

> extra thin!: 0.5k words, apple slicing prefs, really short but its just as sweet as that first bite of a perfect apple slice :P

origin: sine qua non series by tinylethologica ,, favs below

> footprints underneath a pulse storm ♡ 11.111 words (i HAD TO !!! its perfect), based off his deceptive solitude card ^__^ aka the gun cleaning one w the towel barely hanging on around his waist and his v line showing mmmmfffppjhhhh, dynamic is so good they banter SO YUMMILY, caleb and reader being panty sniffers i know thats right!, the sex is a bit milder — it focuses more on dialogue and thats exactly my kind of smut i love it so bad, also um um gun play Nods head. sucking the gun … him fucking reader w the gun uh huh okay that says enough right

> calomel in libation: 4.1k words, caleb knows u better than anyone else (even urself), he eats u out, kinda crazy how he just knows that reader needs to be eaten out after all the stress…. ugh such husband material wheres the ring!!

drive you insane by soarinapple

10.4k words, IM SHAKING omgomgomg SPANKING fic!!!!!! oh hell yeah, he spanks her she counts and thanks him and it goes on sooo long u almost feel it on your bum too </3 oh i wish that was me, aftercare scenes included too ! its so good

(..◜ᴗ◝..) tumblr fics

quick psa i read more incestuous things / heavy topics here so be warned! pls ignore or dont interact if u dont like <3

my love, my alibi by prettyboykatsuki

23.3k words, pseudocest (HEAVY. if u dont like it dont interact!!), im gonna be so real rn and just say this has to be my fav fic w the incestuous theme cause this is just ALL about that dynamic between them. growing up together but the lines blur as you grow up and suddenly someone youve always seen as ur brother is hot and u realise he takes care of you more than a brother should, caleb knows u but also. not? idk all i remember is that him cumming in you felt more romantic than it should be

spilled sweetness by piroulinewafers

2k words, pseucocest (heavy), watersports!!!!!!! this is piss focused lol!!! he checks ur bladder thru ur meow meow..... (yummy), kinda crazy kinda not . its kinky for sure esp w the pseudocest theme ...

drabbles by piroulinewafers

> married reader & caleb + jealousy (from reader) 2.4k words

> vv submissive reader & the sweeeeeetest dom caleb ever. he takes care of u when u cant do it urself 1.5k words

drabble (1) by yukinohiko

0.3k words, caleb faking his amnesia (hes so silly), reader/mc being a freak ofcourse and immediately taking advantage of it LOL but the dialogue is the most important part of this fic!!!, analogies of their love bla bla bla, gege & meimei use <3

drabble (2) by yukinohiko ♡

0.5k words, apple boy just loves you so much. it doesnt matter if u hate him or get angry hes so patient sobs, baby (reader) doesnt mean it!!!! she gets so sad when she realises what she did, gege usage, very sweet reader shes so cute in this...

the colonel's saint (part 2 of the colonel's keeper) by saintobio

9.8k words, im not even gonna sugarcoat it part one made me so uncomfy after reading it cause it was GUTWRENCHING in the best way possible!!!!!, the writing was superb but the entire situation made me feel so icky... i cant reread it like i usually do but i could w the second part!!! reader kinda gets her redemption, the last bits were so bittersweet im happy but also not

so fucking domestic by kutepik

1.2k words, hes so cuuuuteeee!!!!! theyre both cute icl, sex whenever and wherever in the house is soo domestic, just very adorbs im gonna eat them Both

[akuta-coughhackwheeze-gawa]

cant stand seeing people take the complexity of atsushis relationship with the headmaster and claim that the author is trying to push that the abusers a good guy. holy oversimplification of an incredibly nuanced topic and portrayal.

atsushi hates the headmaster. he expresses intense anger at him for what he did even in recent chapters but hes also repressing his sadness at his death because that anger is blinding him and its preventing him from being able to complete the grieving process. i think just in general he was struggling to cope with his own emotions at the time. he hated the director and thought that meant he couldnt mourn him. it was much easier to believe the director hated him and that was that but im glad asagiri tackled this topic because it adds so much more humanity to all the characters and is a pretty common aspect of abuse irl.

when he first comprehends the news atsushi is clearly happy but it also feels a bit like hes playing it up. as if he doesnt exactly know how he should act. he reinforces all hes done to him “he abused me horrifically so of course i should be ecstatic” but it doesnt feel entirely genuine. his real feelings are much more complex than that. tanizaki asks him if he wants to know why the director was here looking for him and atsushi says no, insisting the director mustve been here to hurt him. but the way he responds when he learns of the directos true intentions suggests that he mightve been considering this from the start. after all, the director told him to never hate himself as a child but he either blocked it out or didnt pay much attention to it so he mightve already suspected this.

at this age, he already knew the answers to these questions. as a child he believed he was being punished solely because the director hated him (which the director verbally reinforced) and he continued to tell himself that, trying to ignore the bits that suggested otherwise. he told tanizaki the director was probably there to kill him even though he was told that his punishment was a lesson to help him learn to endure pain so he could survive in this world, even after the director told him to take all his hate out on him and to never hate himself, even after the “poison” didnt kill him.

despite all the realizations, he didnt want to accept it. or couldnt for his own wellbeing. at this point, he remembered the directors words about not hating himself, realized he was being punished for going rampant as the tiger and was being fed nutrients, remembered the directors actions that suggested he wasnt doing what he did out of pure malice yet he still couldnt help but try to deny that the director could ever care about him. by now, atsushi knows that its true but he doesnt want it to be

he was unable to cope with the duality of the directors actions and his own feelings so dazai helped him. he told atsushi that multiple things can be true. the headmaster is despicable, he thought he was doing what was best for atsushi, the directors actions are a huge part of what made atsushi who he is today, atsushi doesnt have to forgive him, the director is unforgivable. he told him that he could still hate the headmaster and that he could cry for him as well. he was validating both atsushis pain/anger AND his grief and it was then that atsushi finally allowed himself to mourn.

its also worth mentioning he said “thats what i think” in regard to the orphanage directors actions keeping atsushi alive and teaching him how to live. at the end of the day, it must be said that this is dazais opinion and dazai is someone who has used similar methods. he gave akutagawa a reason to live regardless of how much trauma and pain it led to. he hurt akutagawa for the sake of keeping him alive. the director wanted atsushi to hate him so he wouldnt hate himself, wanted him to feel as if his entire existence is a burden and hes unworthy to live if he doesnt help others so hed save people just as dazai was degrading so that he could give akutagawa something to chase after, a reason to live, and just as he wanted akutagawa to depend his self worth on dazais approval and fear punishment so that he would listen to dazai and wouldnt become a slave to his own ability and destroy himself.

he did it with good intentions in mind but as he said, it isnt justified. although he can most likely somewhat understand the directors line of thinking because of that. so far it doesnt seem like he regrets what hes done because he believes hes getting the results he wanted (atsushi and akutagawa teaming up). he hasnt been shown to account for the pain he inflicted which i assume would be the case with the director as well. they understand their methods are cruel and horrible but they prioritize doing what they believe they need to do to raise aku/atsu right but i digress

and this wasnt the end of things. atsushi is still angry at the director. he didnt let this prevent him from hating him and he didnt start glorifying his abuser. he was finally able to healthily deal with some of his trauma which he still is dealing with to this day and he isnt portrayed as in the wrong for hating him

it is undeniable that he somewhat feels a bond with the headmaster. he looks to him for guidance and even had to cover that up by imagining dazai in his place. the journey is far from over which is another thing i love. him and akutagawa basically fall on opposite ends of the spectrum. both of them look towards their mentors for guidance but atsushis hate overshadows that while akutagawas admiration overshadows his contempt

in the main universe he has supportive people in his life and dazai is able to help him mourn but he doesnt have that support group in beast so when he learns of the headmasters intentions, he latches onto the idea of someone caring about him and glorifies him. it was a trauma response and including it doesnt mean asagiri is saying that the director was a good man. it is far from uncommon for abuse victims to form a trauma bond with their abusers and akutagawa is even shown doing some form of this in the main series. in beast, rather than helping atsushi mourn, dazai uses this situation to control atsushi and he doesnt get the chance to overcome this. at the end of the series, mori is the one offering to help him mourn and it is implied that he is able to heal eventually by letting go of the headmasters gift and finding something else to validate his existence with.

mori expresses he disagrees with dazai and his method of using atsushis trauma to control him as well as the directors cruel methods, insisting he lets him help him overcome his trauma from the headmaster and he is presented as a positive force in atsushis life who is there to help him heal. if asagiri was trying to insist that the director was a good guy, atsushis singular positive influence wouldnt be disapproving of his methods and preventing atsushi from leaving until he can discard of his gift. and he wouldnt continue allowing main universe atsushi to hate him right after dazai explained why he did what he did let alone in the recent chapters

this was longer than i expected it to be so i hope my thought process is coherent and i didnt screw anything up. im always too chicken to post the long stuff but maybe thisll make it out

[busket]

hey, trans men. especially the younger ones. I love when you embrace the grungy teenage dirtbag aesthetic, I think it's very cool. love that you're not holding yourselves to societal standards of what it means to be a real man and you decide what your own masculinity looks like. thats wonderful. but you cant reclaim "incel". stay away from that word.

i know time moves fast and some of you might be too young to remember, but incel doesn't just mean "loser who can't get a date" incels were the very beginning of the alt right movement. we're taking about men who are violently misogynistic and racist. they fantasized about rape and mass murder to punish the girls that wouldn't date them, and many of them did it. these are men that believed in eugenics, and thought their skull shape was the reason women wouldn't date them, or that women were subhuman animals that only view things from an evolutionary perspective of who would make an ideal "mate".

"but i can reclaim a term used against men" you do not want to reclaim a name that a group of bigots gave to themselves. incels came up with the word "incel" and proudly wore that title. you cant call yourself an incel and expect the meaning to change and for people to not make assumptions about your values based on that word. this is not a term you want to associate with when you talk about embracing your masculinity as a transgender man, okay?

peace and love -a trans man in his 30s

[ivysprophecy]

slim pickins

warnings; bad date? mentions of sex, cursing underage drinking and yes i meant for it to be written poorly i was trying to keep the humor of the album in the writing

masterlist | p. 2

no pressure tags; @murdockcastleslut @kimoralov3 @arkofblake

word count; 1911

summary; youre tired of not finding a decent guy who will treat you right and lay you right. at least not one you've known since you were kids. however you just cant help yourself. besides its slim pickins out here you take what you can get.

divider by @bernardsbendystraws

i wanna make one thing clear, when i say there are no good guys left i do not wanna hear about you and your boyfriend of three years that can cook and loves your mom.

thats exactly what im talking about maddie!!! i dont give two fucks that he took you to barnes and noble and bought you every book you wanted.

they are all taken. its plain and simple.

which is why even with a full roster, im stuck taking fucking zander, yes with a z, to my friends' kegger.

i mean yea hes cute. hes tall, built but not that gross kind of muscly. but if were being real i shouldve known better when he was joking about being a male stripper when hes a ginger.

and i can tell kie is judging me, rightfully so. her side eye is lethal. when i introduced him to everyone she asked him about his greta van fleet tee and he said he didn't even know it was a band.

needless to say pope had to drag her away.

after that incident i decided it was best if we tried to talk away from the rest of the group. boy was i wrong.

"so what do you like to drink? ill go grab us something," i offer trying to start the conversation, also avoiding the usual problem with taking a drink from men.

"im good with whatever"

i like to think im not a violent person, but im about to be.

"does a beer sound okay?" i ask him grabbing a twisted tea for me from the cooler.

"sure thing." god why is he acting like such a bitch? i should ask him if he's on his period.

i hand him the can, our fingers brush and its my final clue for the night that i am definitely not going home with him. no spark at all. hes done just about everything else to piss me off.

he did the thing where he licks his lips exaggeratingly looking me up and down, making a point to make sure i saw.

he walks so slow for being 6'3.

and finally he tried to mansplain my career to me. i'd had just enough when he opens his mouth again

"ew, you like twisted tea? who likes sweet tea?" his face contorted in disgust, it was about to contort from my fist breaking his goddamn nose if he keeps talking to me like this.

"we literally live in the south dude." my face could not make it any clearer i am so done with this guy.

"still, sweet tea is disgusting. im not kissing anyone that drinks that nasty shit."

"who said i wanted to kiss your nasty fucking mou-" i was interrupted by the sound of a very familiar giggle behind me as his arm wrapped around my shoulder, the smell of his deodorant and sea salt that cover his skin start to put you at ease.

jj was always there when you needed him, sometimes even when you didnt but right now you couldn't be more grateful. "im glad you found those mama i got em just for you. remembered theyre your favorite. right?"

and you wanna know the best part? zander is shaking already pissed off that jj is at my side. territorial i guess.

"you mind?" he asks him nodding his head at me like im not even there.

jj cant help but laugh at him "yea bud i do mind. she's hanging out with me tonight. have fun with your ipa dick." and with that he steers us off to where the rest of the pogues are.

but not before i can look over my shoulder and give the ginger an innocent smile and a shrug as if i had no control over the situation, when really id pick jj over anyone else.

"you owe me a big fat kiss mama," jj whispers in my ear walking us over to where our friends are standing, drinks in their hands laughing and chatting up a storm.

"in your dreams honey."

"every night all night," he quips back before i shove him off me.

now before you give me shit, jj and i have had our fair share of fun, but unfortunately im starting to look for something more serious.

watching john b and sarah be disgusting together is getting to my head. popes got something going on with cleo and im starting to recognize the pattern. and before i know it everyone will be in love if i don't start making an effort in that department.

random casual hook ups aren't doing it anymore, especially considering they aren't even that good.

unless theyre with jj.

but hes not an option, theres too much drama. too much history. too much too much too much. im not what he needs and i know for a fact he doesn't want me in that sense.

is that a bit dramatic? probably.

i mean hes a great lay, he's hilarious, he's got that blue collar kind of muscle, and he genuinely cares about me.

so of course im not going to date him, why would i?

what do you mean make good decisions? id rather do things in the most difficult way possible!

"y/n youve gotta stop giving those guys a chance, im starting to feel bad for you."

"you try finding a decent guy in a ten mile radius." i glare at him, obviously not wanting to joke about this right now.

he sticks his hand out in front of me, "fine i will. let me see your phone."

curious to see what he will do i hand it too him unlocked, he swipes and taps for a few moments, smiling down at the phone before handing it back to you.

when you look back down at the screen all you see is your instagram open with his stupid fucking smiley face on the screen.

he took a picture of himself and posted to my story. written on the screen in bubble letters in my favorite colored heart 'my favorite guy <3'

"i think he's your best bet." that same smile facing back at me now, cockier than ever. so smug i wanna kiss it off his face

i cant help but roll my eyes. "jj im serious! at this rate im going to die alone. every decent guy is taken or unavailable. all i want is someone funny, kind, and attractive is that too much to ask for?"

"im right in front of you mama you dont gotta look far."

"jj we both know we're not the serious kind of relationship im talking about."

"you can think what you want too but ill be here waiting for that kiss you owe me."

"i think all that tequila youve been sipping has gone to your head maybank."

he stands in front of me, taking his signature red cap off his head and putting it on mine smiling down at me, "what do they say in those books you read? you wear the hat you ride the cowboy?"

"this no ten gallon hat and you are no cowboy."

we laugh at each other, its always been easier to do that then actually talk about our feelings. so i put his hat back on his head, backwards the way he i likes it.

"cmon y/n/n, have a few more drinks, relax and hang out and ill make you feel all better later yea? its what im best at, you know."

"its gonna take more than a few more teas to convince me jj"

"what about that thing you like that i do with my tongue, huh mama? doesnt that sound pretty good right now? i think it does."

"i give you one fucking compliment and it goes straight to your head."

"technically its about my head so that makes perfect sense," he hands me another can with that stupid signature smirk of his and his stupid sexy hat backwards. i hate to admit it's working on me.

just like it does every other time.

i squint my eyes at him taking the can, rolling the idea around in my head. "fuck it. its not like anyone else is offering," i take a big sip of my drink.

jj pumps his fist in the air like a victorious idiot giving a few woots and hollars before picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder despite my wishes.

"jb!!" he shouts turning around to face him, "we're headed out!"

john b looks at the two of us shaking his head at how im kicking my feet to wiggle out of jjs oddly strong grip. "make sure you change the sheets when youre done!"

oh my god he did not just say that. "fuck both of you!"

jj just laughs carrying you back to the chateau like a kid who's excited to use a brand new birthday present.

"what happened to letting me have a few more drinks before we left??"

"youre just too irresistable mama, gotta have you now,' he gives my ass a light slap for good measure causing me to roll my eyes for the 600th time tonight.

"are you gonna put me down now?"

he pretends to look like hes thinking about it, "i guess. only so i can watch you walk away," he does as he says helping me get my feet on the ground.

"youre a pervert."

"no im flirtatious, and you love it, you know it makes you blush i see it. now go on and give me a lil walk yea?"

oh im gonna kill him...

oh wait! im gonna kill him!

"okay... fine. but no touching until we get home," i smile walking away exactly like he asked, but i know behind me he is a puddle of mud. standing still, about to start begging me to let him.

he finally catches up after a few seconds "mama please- cmon thats not fair. you look too good in those shorts you know i cant wait that long. just wanna feel you."

i cant help but giggle at his words, its honestly adorable how mopey he gets. like i just kicked his puppy or something.

"hands of jj i mean it... not until that door shuts behind us."

it didn't really matter that i can see the chateau or that ill be there in literally a minute.

its actually painful for jj to not be able to touch me as he pleases.

i turn around to face him with a cheeky smile. "you want me maybank?"

and of course he nods so hard it looks like his head is going to fall right off.

"come and get me," running towards the house, i can see the moment when his reflexes kick in, his boots thudding against the ground as he gains on me.

just before i can make it to the poarch jj wraps his arms around me, lifting me a few inches off the ground and spinning me around in a fit of laughter.

"okay! okay okay okay you win- you got me."

"oh ive got you mama, and im havin you for the rest of the fucking night," he presses a kiss to my neck hauling me inside, the screen door slamming shut after us.

am i gonna regret this tomorrow? most likely.

but what can i say? its slim pickins in this part of town.

[cro-fiishy]

pkciv dash simulator

⭐ my-friend mutuals

I love my IRL friend to death, but I don't think he knows my real name. He just calls me "His Friend".

⭐ my-friend mutuals

I asked him about it and he looked at me funny and said "I mean you are my friend, right?" and I didn't have the heart to press further.

⭐ my-friend mutuals

Beginning to develop a Pavlovian response to the word "friend".

⭐ my-friend mutuals

New username :/

👴🏽 oldchamp-deactivated mutuals

I Cant Feel My Legs

🔄 vineboomsound

are u ok,????? what hapened :(

👴🏽 oldchamp-deactivated mutuals

DMs

🔄 vineboomsound

about to jump into the bottomless void. if i dont post again in like 5 minutes then dont let anyone take the temple decor down

🔄 vineboomsound

i just got jumped?,????

🔄 vineboomsound

THEY R HUNTING ME FOR SPORT :(

🔄 vineboomsound

nvm actaully that was fire. no one here knows how to do three-sixties i got htis

🐢 chain-male follow

hey

🔄 vineboomsound

oh God get me Out of here

🐢 chain-male follow

the "male" in my name is short for mansplain manipulate malewife

🥀 guard1 follow

this job is soooo boooring. at least i get to hang out with the bestie later :D

🔄 vineboomsound

thats great man haha

🔄 vineboomsound

🐢 chain-male follow

@ vineboomsound hurry up bro the level will freeze over before you get back

🔄 vineboomsound

ok asshole you try parkouring on ice and literal glass shards while also evading local authorities.

🐢 chain-male follow

what, you want me to kiss it better??? whiny ass

🔄 vineboomsound

i want you to starve in that sand house

🐢 chain-male follow

you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid

🥀 guard1 follow

i just don't know what to do now that he's gone.

🖤 allyyyyy follow

sorry for your loss. do you want to hunt the champion and plan our revenge together

🥀 guard1 follow

yeah

🔄 vineboomsound

has anyone heard from @ my-friend lately :(

📕 dustypage-deactivated following

I just remembered my password! :-)

🔄 vineboomsound

well this is gonna be an awkward one to explain

🐢 chain-male follow

i'm so hungry like it's not even funny

🔄 vineboomsound

skill issue im still not giving you my boots

🐢 chain-male follow

i'd rather you just call me a homophobic slur at this point

🖤 allyyyyy follow

questioning my duties

🖤 allyyyyy follow

stalking that guy

🖤 allyyyyy follow

questioning my duties again

🖤 allyyyyy follow

fuck it i'm sending the ask

🔄 vineboomsound

anonymous asked: hey . just wanted to let you know that you're following someone really problematic. check your dms

ummm What !

🔄 vineboomsound

ok what hte fuck !

🔄 vineboomsound

actually this isnt surprising at all what am i saying lmao

🐢 chain-male follow

call me a wife the way i'm pining for a man's long-awaited return

🐢 chain-male follow

and also the way i'm plotting and conspiring

🐢 chain-male follow

call me a wife the way i'm scheming in the kitchen

🔄 vineboomsound

??? HUH

🐢 chain-male follow

dont worry about it <3

🔄 vineboomsound

no yeah his ass is definitely evil

🔄 vineboomsound

his ass........

⭐ my-friend mutuals

Evbo,. send hel p

🔄 vineboomsound

MY FRIEND??????

🐢 chain-male follow

about to make twink death literal in more ways than one <3

end of simulation

[volturiprincess]

Hiii I saw that your requests are open! If it’s okay, can I please request a Demetri x fem!human!reader where the mate pull between them is so strong (even though they haven’t met) that she has been having dreams about him and unconsciously finds her way in Volterra (like she honestly doesn’t remember how she got to Italy in the first place, it was like a mind out of body experience for her) and goes up to Heidi (who is out looking for tourists to join the “tour”) and Y/n’s like, “Do you know where I can find Demetri Volturi?” And Heidi is like “???” Because this little human somehow knows who a Volturi guard is asking for him and desperately wants to see him?? If Dem had the ability to cry, he would be sobbing when Heidi brings his sweet mate to him🥹Awww and as soon as she sees him she knows exactly who he is and calls out to him 🥹

Also I feel like Marcus would be absolutely fascinated about how strong their bond is, and Aro would be fascinated by Y/n herself because she has to be gifted in some way with how she unconsciously found her way to Demetri with the dreams she had been having

Never Be The Same

Demetri Volturi x human fem reader Warnings: None A/N: I apologize for the very long wait, I hope this makes up for it though. Weirdly I manage to write this in 2.5 days, which is kind of fast even for me, i mostly wrote it late at night because thats when the real inspiration came through. My first finished request of the year also. But.... Enjoy💙 Word Count: 2323 (that is so satisfying)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It can be you and I forever….what do you say?”

I wanted to scream out yes but he started to dissolve, he was fading away. No please come back…

I woke up from the dream with a thin layer of sweat, grabbing my bottle of water, I drowned it down. Fuck I cant believe it was a dream. It seemed so real. He’s been in my dreams for the past couple of months now, is he even a real person? He seems too perfect to exist, but everything that has happened in the dreams are so specific, and I have the same dream every night too where I see him and we just hang out and talk. It's almost like an out of body experience. 

We talk to each other just like I would in the waking world, full of conversations, it's come to a  point where I feel like I know everything there is to know about him. I get out of my bed and walk out to my little balcony in the little place I rented for the month. Volterra Italy…I don't even remember how I got here but here I am. Demetri mentioned he lives here, wondering where he is?

I let a cold breeze hit my face as I grip the beautifully crafted railing, as I thought over where to start my search for him. Such a small town and no sighting of him yet. I have only been here for a week so far but I'm already growing a bit impatient. What if he is not here?

I get ready for the day and head out for my search for him. I remember in one of my dreams that Demetri mentioned he is a tracker, he did not specify what he tracked but he said he was the best in the world. Wish I could track. I ended up wandering around the town when I found a big fountain, it's so entrancing the way the water sprouts out. I sit by it as I debate what to do next, there's not much I can do unless…

I see the most gorgeous woman to ever grace this earth at a distance, I must be in heaven because she is an angel. I get this feeling that I need to approach her, like she is the one who will give me all the answers to my questions. Maybe she will know where I can find Demetri. I walk over to her as she turns to face me, she gives me a breathtaking smile as she quickly skims me.

“Posso aiutarla?”

I take a minute to try to understand what she said but my Italian is so rusty, those years of learning Italian in High School went out the window immediately.

“Sorry my Italian is super rusty, do you speak English?”

She gave me a sheepish smile but nodded.

“Well of course, I am well educated in multiple languages, I am Heidi, how may I help you?”

Just with the way she talks is leaving me in a trance, I'm forgetting my whole purpose of why I needed to talk to her. Wait, why do I have to talk to her? Think, think, think. Oh right, Demetri!

“Do you know where I can find Demetri Volturi”

Her smile dropped and it contoured to a look of pure confusion, her head tilted slightly with her gaze turning to one of puzzled in a matter of milliseconds. Have I said something wrong? I don't like how she's looking at me now, I feel myself squirm under her gaze. 

“How do you know of him?”

“Wait, he's actually real?”

Her eyebrows furrowed now as she kept staring at me.

“He is…but your didn't answer my question cara”

“I well…would you believe me if I said I been dreaming of him?”

“Humans sure are strange beings, have you ever actually met him in person?”

“No”

“Who told you he would be here?”

“He did”

“How?”

“He told me he lives in Volterra, Italy”

“I cannot phantom how this is even possible, so you're telling me, Demetri told you where he is via dream and you never meet him but you know who he is?”

I nod, I know this sounds crazy now that she says it out loud but it is the truth, I would have to be mental to come up with such a story, maybe I am. I don't even remember how I got here to start off with.

“Is he here?”

“...Yes but he is busy currently”

“When will he be free?”

“I'm not sure, when he trains it is never known how long he will take”

“I don't mean to be rude or anything but is there a way you could get him to come here, I would like to meet him”

She still had a confused look on her beautiful face.

“I still cannot wrap my mind how a human like you knows a volturi guard and knows where we live too, what are the odds it would be Demetri?”

“What do you mean by that? Is he a bad person or something because I can tell you in my dreams he was an absolutely sweetheart, I have never meet such a sweet man in my whole life”

“Yes he is a sweetheart, I didn't mean to imply he is a bad person he's the opposite I just meant what are the odds the only guard who does not have a mate might have found them in a strange way”

“Mate?”

“You will be told about them once we figure out if you are his mate”

“And if I'm not?”

“Well lets just say you came at a bad time for the Volturi, our feeding time is soon”

I shivered slightly at the remark, feeding time? Why would that be a bad thing? Is it not just dinner or I guess it would be lunch since it is early afternoon. Or unless they are very private about their dinner time that they don't have guests? There's something off but I hope I can meet Demetri soon. I wonder how he will react. Will he know who I am? Does he have the same dreams as I? Or have our dreams been like walking dreams where he comes into mine? 

My curiosity is interrupted when Heidi mentions something that peaks my interest

“I will see if he can spare a minute or two but I will guarantee you that the possibility of that happening is low, please just wait by the fountain”

I nod as she walks away, even her walk is so entrancing, does she even have any flaws? I take my previous spot by the fountain as I wait for them. I hope the odds are in my favor and I do get to meet him. Will he be exactly like in my dreams, the way he acts and talks. I felt that sudden anxiety rise in me, what if I disappoint him in a way. He's literally the handsomest man to ever walk upon this earth, he does not belong in this world with the beauty he carries.

I felt my heart beat a bit faster the longer I waited for them to return, I have never felt so nervous before. I wanted to throw up but I tried my best to stay calm. Deep breaths…in…out…in…out. Okay that's working, I feel less stressed but my thoughts are still running wild. Seconds felt like minutes, minutes turned to hours, hours then felt like weeks. What if he is refusing to meet me or he is really busy. 

I hate how my mind suddenly thinks of all the worst case scenarios to ever exist when nothing bad has happened. Yet at that moment, my breath was hitched, the world stopped moving, nothing could be heard but footsteps who I can already assume who they belonged to. I felt an invisible force tilt my head to the side to be met with a dark clothed figure standing at the entrance of a doorway that could only be described as an entrance to a museum. He would be the statue that millions of people would travel all around the world to gaze at. It would be a blessing of a masterpiece.

Am I in one of my dreams with him in it? It certainly feels like it but my raw emotions I have right now feels true and physical. He walked over to me and I swear I saw flowers sprout at each step he took, his eyes maintained contact with mine. His eyes held so much expression that I could read each emotion he was feeling. When he stood in front of me his arm extended to pull me up and into his chest. His arms wrapped around me loosely as the desire to breathe again was nowhere, my hand went up to rest on his cheek to make sure he was physically here. 

He is here, this is no dream because if it were the minute I touched him he would have dissolved into my delusions. 

“Your real”

His smile could have brightened a whole room alone without needing actual light. 

“I certainly hope I am, I can't believe I have finally found you”

“You've been waiting for me?”

“For centuries now”

I ran the same hand that was on his cheek through his blonde locks as his eyes closed. We felt like we were in our own little bubble of paradise, everything was still and quiet which at this moment felt right. I saw his skin give a little sparkle which was strange but it made him seem more ethereal, it was made clear he is not human but to me that does not matter to me because all I want is him. 

When his eyes opened they seemed darker as they were shimmering slightly with unshed tears. He looked so precious that I had the strong desire to engulf him in a deep hug that would hide him from the world. He gave me a weak smile as he guided me to where he came from, he held me as if I were a porcelain doll. 

“I will introduce you to my masters, they would like to meet you since a certain person decided to let the whole castle know I found my mate”

“So I am your mate?”

He stopped walking to look straight into my eyes, into my soul.

“Do you not feel how we are gravitating toward one another? You are my moon as I am the ocean. I have never felt this feeling in the centuries I have been around, I finally feel complete with you here” 

Breathless he leaves me. His words are better than any love song I have ever heard, no artist can come close to being more romantic than him. Even after every dream I had of him, I would wake up with the same reaction. We eventually arrived at a room where three figures sitting in thrones were at. These must be the masters that Demetri mentioned, next to me and Demetri was a mountain of a man. I had to crane my neck at an angle to look up at him, and even then I almost couldn't see his face because his shoulder was blocking the side view of his face. 

“So she found you? This little human found you?”

“She did Master”

“And she’s truly human?”

“Yes she is, can you not see the color in her cheeks”

I kind of just stood there awkwardly as they spoke of me as if I weren't there but Demetri made me feel comfortable with the way he still had me in his arms. 

“But how did she come to find you?”

Everyone turned to look at me the same way Heidi did when I asked about Demetri, which resulted in me to squirm. The blonde one spoke up which made me almost jump out of my skin.

“Speak human”

Demetri got a bit tense but spoke up for me. What a gentleman…

“Master please, don't you see your frightening her, please don't raise your voice to my mate”

Oh my, so polite and protective. The way his voice got soft as he spoke made my heart melt. I gained confidence from how he defended me that I finally spoke up.

“I'm not sure how I ended up in Italy or how I got here but all I can say is I would have dreams about Demetri which then lead me here somehow, its difficult to explain but I just knew I had to find him even if I was not sure if he was real or not”

The third master who has not spoken in the whole time we've been here finally stood up and walked over to me and Demetri. He moved so slowly that I felt as if he walked faster he would turn to dust and vanish.

“You confound me dear one but I have never seen such a strong bond between mates. I hope with time we can figure out how this was able to happen because I am fascinated by this”

I nodded but suddenly relaxed a bit in Demetris arms. The one who seemed to be the main guy to run this whole place clapped loudly with a laugh to follow it. I wanted to cringe slightly but I felt that would be disrespectful to do so, so I bit my tongue.

“I think she might be gifted, oh the joy this brings me, our own Demetri has found his mate and she is gifted, a joyous day it is indeed”

The smile that Demetri gave me was like a sudden beam of sunlight illuminating the darkest corners of the room. I never knew he was the sunshine I needed in life, I think I'm going to love spending forever with him.