#lestat crying like this i cant

[hauntingblue]

Santiago and lestat having a diva off the second he steps on stage....

[bodythieves]

reading TVL it’s very interesting how in IWTV basically everything he told Louis not to do was based on his own mistakes LOL (like Renaud’s Theatre / FairPlay casino parallels) and also Lestat is so funny for scolding Louis in S1 about how much he was upset over Claudia leaving …

Meanwhile in his autobiography bro is literally crying all the time (so far I think I’ve bookmarked at LEAST 30 times Lestat has just started fucking crying. I’m only just before part 3.) LMFAO just because he’s a vampire and he loves things for the most part??? Like is that not what you want??? 😭 WHAT IS THIS MANS PROBLEM??

[neonsbian]

im crying im at the point in the vampire armand where hes w the children of darkness and one of the great laws is that the dark gift must not be given to anyone who isnt beautiful???? 😭😭😭😭

[toastsnaffler]

iwtv is rly getting to me 😭 I feel sooo bad for claudia no one tell me anything bc idk the book lore + I dont want spoilers but istg she's gonna kill herself in that theatre fire...

[cuntylestat]

god i still have 9 hours until the ep is available and i already cant take lestat looking like the saddest wettest orphaned cheetah kitten in gif form. and i just Know sam is gonna bust out the wobbly voice. what if i just flung myself into the mississippi and let the gators eat me. seems fitting.

ohhhhh you are not ready. he is the soppiest kitten in that scene. you Will cry

[nalyra-dreaming]

Hey,

What an episode! It was so SO good i could cry. I have a question as to what Louis meant by saying "i own the night"? I feel like it means something specific but i cant pinpoint what exactly.

I think it’s meant to show that he is in full control of his powers now, has accepted them.

It … could also mean more, wrt Those Who Must Be Kept for example, and/or Lestat, but… we will have to see that in s3 😈

[cuntyfieddemon]

just a week ago i finished iwtv season 1 and i had absolutely no time to process anything i went through so many emotions and yet im still at step 1 of screaming crying throwing up at the smallest mention of both lestat and armand and no i havent come down the walls yet. waiting a month for season 2 feels like an eternity i cant believe some of yall have been doing it for 2 years

[dlsintegration]

Using @iwtvfanevents's a meal to remember event as an opportunity to celebrate some of the sickos beautiful authors in this fandom 🧡 here's a list of some of my favourite recommendations, all of them Louis-centric and/or involving louis in a major fashion.

I will also be adding a song that I associate to each of them!!

🐺Leslou🐑

canon/semi-canon compliant

Pour (E) by baberainbow / @baberainbowao3: Kicking this list off with one of my all times favorite, manages to capture their voices perfectly. You'll never go wrong with one of babe's fics, they're all canon in my head 🧡

song: holy terrain - fka twigs

Glass (E) by baberainbow / @baberainbowao3: Melting just thinking about this one. I can never be free of them.

Pieta (E) by baberainbow / @baberainbowao3: Gabrielle gives lestat something he needs and gives louis something he didnt know he needed 🧡 Gabrielle is so kind 🧡

song: let go - tinashe

song: mary magdalene - fka twigs

Tides (E) by @nlbv: Tides my best friend. had to stare at my ceiling for at least 10 minutes after that one and it doesn't lose its impact no matter how much I come back to it. Masterful grasp on both louis and lestat's characterization and the toxicity that permeates their relationship.

song: tear you apart - she wants revenge

Roadkill (E) by @baberainbowao3 and @nlbv: TELL THE AVENGERS TO PACK IT THE FUCK UP. This is the most ambitious crossover of our generation. Roadkill my wife my beloved my soulmate. Read it so many times i've managed to convince myself it was canon. and it is. What is a family meant for if not for going to the circus, commiting horrifying acts of violence and making plans for the future 🧡

song: savage good boy - japanese breakfast

someone buy me roses (E) by indigostohelit: Perfect dialogue, impeccably true to their characters, illustrates louis' religious hangups and repression in a subtle funny and intimate way.

song: save a prayer - duran duran

Amour Rouge (E) by revengefrnnk: Louis exploring femininity. Big big fan of putting that man in lingerie personally. 10/10 certified s1 deleted scene to me.

song: blood and butter - caroline polachek

AUs

Reformation (E) by verseau / @greedydemands (MODERN AU): The sacred texts. We all remember where we were. 10/10 will make you go through the full range of existing human emotions. I laughed. I cried, a number of times. I sweat, I danced. I got... a shot, I ate and... I had many epiphanies.

song: heaven - shygirl / be sweet - japanese breakfast

hold me tight, & fear me not (E) by boltcutters / @wordforworldisforest (TAM LIN AU): Me when I find a beautiful fairytale book in the evil yaoi section. Read if you love beautiful writing and if you want to find out what happens to lost little lambs that stray from the path.

song: i cant breathe - gwsn

Part of Your World (E) by weathermood / @weather-mood (LITTLE MERMAID AU): I never know where to start when praising POYW, from how real and alive the world feels to the sense of tragedy permeating Louis and Lestat's entire relationship, to how much it's made me miss the sea. Oh and also the monsterfucking ❤️

song: like real people do - hozier / sea, swallow me - cocteau twins

House of Gold (E) by dirtygoldensoul / @revolution-starter : I don't usually read A/B/O fics but I love this one so much, for many reasons, the main one being how bad the family dynamics get me... Can't recommend it enough 🧡

song: work song - hozier

Like a Heathen clung to the Homily (E) by @thelioncourts (SEX CLUB AU): One of my favorite insights into Louis' internality and his lingering religious trauma, and how it still affects him, chapter 4 almost made me cry... Can't wait to see where it goes next.

song: after dark - mister kitty

🥀Loumand🎭

canon/semi-canon compliant

dirges (E) by boltcutters / @wordforworldisforest: Can't make my way into loumand territory without mentioning my beautiful wife dirges. Ziska if you read this know that you will be dealt with shortly. Loumand bed death allegation hours: CLOSED FOREVER.

song: posing in bondage - japanese breakfast

Alluvium (E) by serpenstkirts / @knifeeater: The best way I can describe Laïs' fics and how they make me feel would be to liken the experience to drowning into a lake and being grateful for the dark water filling your lungs. This fic is about eroticized latex gloves and finger sucking btw.

song: only seeing god when i come - sega bodega

vanishing point (E) by serpentskirts / @knifeeater: Motorcycle sex as religious experience. Day 67 of my campaign to get Laïs in that writing room.

song: sunset - caroline polachek / nascar - stella smyth

Selfsame (E) by @vampdf: 70s LOUMAND CRUISING ERA MY BELOVED. Number 1 on the list of the crimes Eli has to answer for. 1000/10. Died five separate times reading this. Rolin look at me. Rolin dont listen to AMC. You need this in s2. It is crucial that we get this. Louis deserves it.

song: a pill to crush - evelyn / sulk - tr/st

Prey Drive (E) by The_Lame_Goat / @iwtvdramacd18: Speaking of loumand's 70s insane bdsm practices 💔💔💔 s2 script just leaked. Is your eternal vampire marriage hitting a rough spot? Try our newest predator/prey large-scale roleplay!

song: lullaby - the cure / on the run - kelela

Mark Deep (E) by The_Lame_Goat / @iwtvdramacd18: Goat you have my blood on your hands. No added commentary needed actually. The damage this fic has done to me is irreversible. Read if you want some more quality t4t loumand insanity.

song: pang - caroline polachek

Rumpelstiltskin (E) by weathermood / @weather-mood: Most normal loumand roleplay night. Louis wakes up in a tower. I literally refuse to say anything else until you all read it for yourself and go through the sheer range of emotions I've went through when first reading it. #Their princess/captor slay is real and alive and thriving. This fic is also part of the NMHMRGPINE (No Matter How Much Rashid Gets Paid It's Not Enough) verse btw.

who is she ? - i monster / big bad wolf - shakey graves

AUs

the night island (E) by @vampdf (MAFIA AU): I don't know much but I know Armand was made to be a mob boss and Louis was made to be a mob wife. One of the most insanity-inducing byproducts of the career dom s2 teaser Armand scene(tm).

song: bitch bites dog - cecile believe

🚬Armand/Louis/Daniel📚

thy fearful symmetry (E) by mothmaiden: 70s era. One of the flrst iwtv fics I ever read. Never left my mind since. Delicious dynamics between the three of them, got me gasping and covering my mouth many times. Can't recommend enough.

song: soul control - jessie ware

Little Kidnaps in the Dark (E) by @gayvampiredivorce : The damage little kidnaps has wrought on my crops, my mental health, my friends and family can NOT be overstated. Masterful interpretation of the evolution of their relationship and dynamics through the haze of vampiric existence. Anne could never have done this.

song: when the sun hits - slowdive

Lethe series (T/E) by serpentskirts / @knifeeater: Quite simply one of my favorite series not only in that tag but in general. Every sentence Laïs writes pulls me into a dark void that I hope I'm never getting out of.

song: hopedrunk everasking - caroline polachek

🖤Lestat/Louis/Armand/Daniel💀

Good to Love / Ruthless in Love (M) by themasterletters / @brightfelon (MODERN AU): Reading Toni's fics makes me feel like im a teen again, waiting anxiously for updates and calling up all my friends to scream and , am in love with all of Toni's readings of the characters but his Louis truly gets me. That fic doesn't only live rent free in my head it's also led me places I wouldnt go to with a gun. I have seen the best minds of my generation led to madness by toni's loumand. btw.

song: career boy - dorian electra / genghis khan - miike snow

Lestat/Louis/Armand

A Potentiality for Corruption (E) by @vampdf: The thing is. I can't talk about Eli's fics without talking about Potentiality. However. Talking about Potentiality also happens to send me into a state of delirious hysterics. Daphne Du Maurier found dead in a ditch. Charlotte Brontë shaking and crying. Guillermo Del Toro found jobless. There's a new Gothic classic in town.

song: ptolemaea - ethel cain

[deathlonging]

what are your Claudia SongsTM 👀

this is such a beautiful question ty dre. i neeeed to make a full claudia playlist but until then. so many songs i associate w her shes everything to me shes yearning shes hungry shes sick shes filled with grief bc shes filled w rage !!!! she should get to kill all the men on that show

between my teeth - orla gartland. due to mainly the craziest louisclaudia amv you know the one. but funnily enough i see it as being the other way around--louis cant hold claudia's heart between his teeth his perception of his responsibility for her is too absolute for him to accede to her the respect love's been holding tight to his chest

dynasty - claudia classic !!!!! patricide five everrrr

paper bag - got this song on repeat lately and its literally insane how hunger hurts and i want him so bad oh it kills me but i know im a mess he dont wanna clean up i gotta fold bc these hands are too shaky to hold......when you cost too much to love !!!! much like her dreaming this is i think something she pushes down bc she wants to be defined by what she wants not why she can't have it. of course. but it does break my heart. and of course the essential bird motif i thought it was a bird but it was just a paper bag.........

american teenager - controversial perhaps but e.c does say its ethels final stand of hope before everything goes down preachers daughter hill......i do it for my daddy and i do it for dale i do what i want and damn im doing it well !!! for me !

liquid smooth - towards the beginning of the fictitious playlist, obviously. in this context it takes on a desperate and challenging tone

when memories snow - she wrote it in the journal but it wasn't true.....she could dream. enough said bc every line of this screams claudia in a pitch that aches

aphex twin flame - sickening how he doesnt need to be a ghost the way he is for louis hes in her.

burn alive - this would be a little too literal for my tastes if it wasn't such a banger

andromeda - nothing to say except this is such a beautiful song.....i'd watch an entire season of claudia finding herself alone. of which i know the phrasing belies a misunderstanding of her trip in ep5 but i do mean in that a vampiric coming of age......louis no more than a ghost lestat no more than a relief like buried bird bones

$20 - i did want at least one song on this list that doesnt make me cry well this is it. sorry for being a massive cliche this is so her <3

silent all these years - another one that fails her when literal but years go by will i still be waiting for somebody else to understand..... crazy song why lie

delilah - going to ignore the implications of (holding on for your call) (i can never let go) in favor of i never knew i was a dancer till delilah showed me how......shes going to be free and shes going to be fine !!!

[mothmage]

Body thief Armand !! ?

for a bit of context, this is the first few lines of the word document:

Title: Bacchus, Recumbent

Summary In 1992, Raglan James stole the body of a vampire. In 1982, someone else did it first. Or: A study in gluttony and in deprivation.

Tags: gore, hedonism

this one is still in the "frantically jotting things down with no capitalization or punctuation" phase, which makes it horrible to read snippets of lmao. it's 75% armand eating and having sex and doing drugs and having human-body experiences in a way that's very different from lestat's bodyswap adventure, and the other 25% is just the most soul-crushing grief i've ever written and also gore and my agenda for armand to eat people. the idea for this fic was co-developed in another ask game a while ago, with people in the comments adding things (@molloyboi super heavily co-developed this).

anyways skipping over the horny fun parts and going straight to the armand-style misery, if you want a horribly poor grammar and spelling and no punctuation snippet of armand having an emotional crisis after trying cocaine, see below (tw vomit, blood - not from a fight or anything):

he takes a knife to daniels chest slicing shallowly below his collarbone. daniel hisses but holds armands head as he latches on sucks.

he pulls away when the blood stops flowing and starts to coagulate making a face. he isnt used to that. he drops to his knees then sucks daniel off. when his cock hits the back of his throat and makes him gag, he has to pull off to literally vomit blood and alcohol and bile and chunks of food.

daniel steps back makes a gagging noise then is like oh boss armand baby.

armand coughs wipes his mouth then stares at it swirling down the drain. he starts to cry then and looks up at daniel with snot and tears running down his face. im sorry daniel im so sorry.

hey no come here its all right. come on stand up lets get you cleaned off.

clean, he stands with his head against daniels chest those big familiar hands rubbing up and down his unfamiliar back.

i didnt mean to waste it he mumbles pressing a kiss to the scabby line across his collarbone. im sorry i didnt mean to waste it

to- he laughs presses a kiss to his head. my god armand it’s fine. the human body has a lot of blood as you well know. im fine.

he shakes his head but cant make daniel understand and cant make himself stop crying.

daniel sighs turns off the water. come on boss he says quietly. he leads armand out to their pool to the hot tub that daniel had insisted on.

hes glad now as daniel leads him in. he hisses at the temperature. it’s too hot.

daniel steps in still holding his hand. just go slow give it a minute.

he does and it becomes comfortable. he steps all the way inside and settles beside daniel curled up around him. daniel drags him over to sit on his lap draped across his chest. not like a child but like an octopus. armand loves to sit like this. it feels powerful normally. daniel couldnt move against the strength of his vampire body. he shivers now. hes just a child again a skinny little foolish child like hes always been. all masks removed.

NOW so you arent misled about the true vibes of this fic, here's a bonus bit, less of a snippet and more like notes to break into scenes later:

when he returns he drags daniel to italy, to the monuments. searching for the body thief he tells him. but sightseeing all the while. ive never seen this in the daytime the colosseum or the pantheon. with all the crowds. he delights in it curling his arm around daniel and letting the crowds press them close together. everybody is hot and everybody smells and he drapes himself over daniels back during their picnic lunch to press his nose into the space behind his ear and breathe him in. he smells the same even if armands nose has changed. they take pictures that daniel cant bear to look at but armand tucks away for safekeeping. they go to the finest restaurants in the world and order dish after dish. armand stands naked in the hotel bathroom admiring this new body of his. it’s putting on weight, fleshy around the hips and thighs, the way his own body is. it feels more like him every day. he cuts his hair into a sort of mullet like a rockstar, has daniel hold onto it while fucking him from behind. they go to clubs to bars to shows, pick up men and women in droves. every hotel room hosts an orgy and daniel goes along with it all, whatever armand wants. but what he wants is daniel and daniels body can’t keep up. so he purchases a harness, a silicone cock that straps onto his thigh, and rides it while daniel’s own recovers. daniel falls asleep more than once, w his hands gentle around armands hips and his cock bouncing limp in his lap.

then they go to new york, try coke again at the club and dance until the sun comes up then dance their way through the park laughing and giddy. they fall into the grass daniel groaning and armand laughing.

[cvntdracvla]

regarding louis and lestats arrangement: like lestat was HURT hurt. the Moment louis asked if he can fuck other people as well lestat knew he fucked up. he was nervously tapping his lapel like "ofc ofc u can" cuz he cant back down now, but he was was screaming internaly. & when he called him a lot i lowkey felt bad for lestat. yeah he sucks ass but thats my babygirl

and i LOVE how louis is giving him the taste of his own medicine. yeah get some side bussy for urself!

louis & lestat looking at eachother over their "prey"? yeah give me that toxic it couple im here for.

but lestat FOLLOWING them??? spying on them ? i love my men lame & pathetic. he was screaming crying flailing "I HEARD YOUR HEARTS DANCING!!!", "are u jealous? yes. i dont like sharing." like Aaaah! antoinette is "tedious". "i can smell her on you" they make me Sick!

i know yall love eachother sm yall are so dumb !!! louis was right on the money when he said We cant communicate our love. this episode gave what needed to be given

[dwreader]

I think Nalyra and Virginia’s incessant posting on the tags isnt the only reason for their wide reaching. Popular fandom “spokespersons” like Gorrei, Kat (Immortal Daily), and No Context Lestat (all notably not Black) are friendly and consistently reblogging and interacting with these users. Of course theyll cry if called out for the company they keep and pretend they had no idea but continue to be friendly with them because they have no backbone (i believe it was Kat that once said why cant all the people crying about racism just be quiet and peaceful) but its kind of ironic that a show with leads of color have the most racist and pathetic accounts on the forefront.

Also several of these people use the fact that they are not from the US to claim they don’t “understand racism” as a result, but also seem to make no effort in learning even though they’re watching a show that takes place in 1910s New Orleans. And imo it’s bc they mostly want the show to get to the lestat parts as soon as possible anyways and think the show’s thoughtful exploration of racism is just a blip they have to endure until they get their white boy of the month show. It’s all very transparent 😬

[slaygentford]

worst part of fanon iwtv.... sorry if this starts a war of any kind. or congrats whichever works better

second of these............... im trying to think of something I dont like that isn't just like openly dumb and therefore boring to complain about but I cant.... I will say that I think we need to keep an eye on the ratio of loustat crying in our mind palaces, Louis who is a gay PRACTICING catholic spends all his life completely stoic until one day out of every year something happens like claudia knocks over a glass or lestat opens a door for him and then he cries until he throws up and cant get out of bed for two days and then the next night hes like okay! claudia how about you drive us to go pick out Christmas ornaments :) . and you might think that's abnormal but who hasn't sat in a scalding bath for two hours staring blankly at the wall while watching from a safe and distant corner of his mind as he meticulously lobotomizes himself. exactly

[plaguery]

i cant take it i cant take it the way love and abuse are played out in this show. we're at the point where all of the love is muddled and shattered and spread so thin but it was there. and it sticks around like some stain on their rotten souls. these men torture each other in desperation of their desire, the need to claim and claw to certainty. they all wrong each other in their ministrations of love, but louis is the one to lose and be cut down the most, louis who keeps falling for men who hold inherent power and wield it against him, in love they say, they feel, they cry. but amidst their tender homes, the battlefields of their romance, is always claudia, a third, a pawn, a shrine to their love, desecrated. where louis is tossed and thrown and dropped, claudia is burned, endlessly. she has never left the fire.

"i could not prevent it." armand says. for all we know of his power and fumbled agency, perhaps we must still consider his words closer. could claudia's death, burning, and suffering really be prevented in a world set out against her? if she was saved, who would next fail her to the brink of death?

claudia, loved and wrought vulnerable by it, screamed for from the crypt by her defeated black father, looked upon in horror by her triumphant white father. her look to lestat a desperate cry for help, calling to the stain of love, the sharing of blood. who else would ever choose to save her in that moment? madeleine in dust, louis buried.

even for vampires--monsters--in the grand script of the family, the child is held most sacred, imagined as an ethereal gem, spiritually inviolable, and thus always victim to the whims of worldly love and its begotten crimes.

and lestat looks on, steady, weighed to the earth like a monument to complacency, patent action and inaction weaved together as one, just as his role in the play requests.

[blueiight]

What light do you see Loustat in? Some people see loustat in a grim light where the abusive aspects of their relationship are brought to the front but others see them in a way where they work through that and are happy in each other’s space. Though, I could never really pin how you see them.

i feel like this is a very flippant answer to what is a well thought out question but TLDR i l think lestat x louis are foundational to the western yaoi canon..

yk how bell hooks has a book all about love i dont feel like she was fair in some aspects namely in suggesting that ppl who harm u cant love u . love like anything else is a feeling, that does not always translate in the material. taking this to the head we can see in history how ppl can be galvanized into commiting the worst of deeds based off a ~belief~ or abstract notion of love or loyalty (that materially benefits them/the party theyre on). so i dont feel like love is inextricable from harm , ppl can hold feelings that do not always manifest in ideal ways. this goes both for my lesypoo would neva types & my lou dont love dat evil bitch types. love is complicated especially the love of immortals. cuz thats ultimately what monsters r. a rhetorical device in fiction to explore humanity’s capacity for evil. book leslou was fascinating in part bc louis was an old school bougie planter who got outdaddied by this noble land-poor european country lord.if the vampire prior to this was the fear of the exotic immortal east; then in book!iwtv& its response tvl , the roguish european hero imparts itself in creating the colonial planter (louis) & later… in a battle against the old east (twmbk). meta wise yes louis was bitchy to lestat in tobt bc anne at the time wanted david to be w les but even looking at tvl & qotd louis hes exceptionally tender to lestat in no small part bc he adored lestat’s inner strength as a man (using this to mean disposition here. very antifeminist of me), and struggled between acknowledging his longing for him .. and in tobt he struggled with the sort of subversion of dynamics . what could a weakened lestat do for him? what could he do to a weakened lestat? that scared him. he cared for a weakened lestat in mtd enough to claw at walls soo. who knows! and in both adaptations louis is lestat’s baby.(even if show lestat put louis in an A/C compressor) comparing this to show leslou, theres no need for an older lestat to cosplay being the gold digger here (or be viewed as such in louis’s narration?), especially in the face of a black younger louis. whos given an addled sort of anger / passion rooted in his encroaching disempowernment v the power he possesses intracommunaly as a creole bm .. lestat asking louis howd u get in here? XXX HOT EBONY—[is shot]. and the second interview louis is certainly more readily able? or willing? or ??? w/ his longing for lestat? if not himself in a moment (‘bled him like a pig’) then we as the viewers can deduce such (seeing past louis cry over a bleeding out lestat). thats the nature of adaptation baby. and going back to the love point, it reminds me it was either jacob or sam who said it its a shame my recall is failing atm cuz i rly liked the way they put it. leslou love eachother but dont really like eachother. of course people can syncretize aspects of the later books (s/o barbara and retirement in auvergne!) or even extrapolate a lot from their scenes in the show in hopes of seeing their show counterparts grow to like eachother in fan content irdgaf. the show has adapted what was priorly universally agreed to be the darkest period of lestat and louis’s relationship. where people diverge is in the semantics & decisions made in adaptation, but it serves a purpose to a story that is yet unclear to us! bear in mind this is the first cour of interview, 1 book of 15.. for example nobody was predicting that the show would weave in the wider chronicles by incorporating a second interview before s1 came out. i guess thats why my take on leslou (presuming the show vers is wym) is so unclear bc im an uncreative boor & can only look at whats given on text or in screen… this is sublime western yaoi

[nyapetaleijon]

finally watching iwtv s2ep7...the spoilers ive seen so far have really downplayed the racism/antiblackness happening on stage here. like the Extremely Literal silencing of louis and claudia... the whole flipping of the "come to me" setup where lestat instead paints louis as the predatory stalking black man and himself the hapless white victim... making louis seem animalistic and savage through his desire to not Eat People but instead eating animals... painting claudia as simultaneously a naive idiotic little girl and an angry black woman speaking out of turn... her self harm and kills being a "cry for attention" when that was all that she was taught was correct...madeleine (white) being given a chance at freedom (even though like. objectively none of the crimes claudia and louis are accused of succeeded except killing antoinette who kinda deserved it) while louis and claudia are deemed irredeemably guilty.

theres also something about like. louis' christianity/faith being wrong and lesser, maybe some kind of perverted expression of faith? as opposed to european/white christianity. but i cant quite put my finger on the right words to describe it.

lestat acting as though louis owed him sex and love and companionship because he turned him, but his own cheating with antoinette is a completely fine choice because hes being denied.

claudia being (physically) a minor being tried as an adult.

claudia says that its a stoning and it is. it is very much a lynching. the ending is predetermined.

and im sure this analysis is surface level as im only watching this episode for the first time and i could dig into it much more on a repeated viewing but. idk. its just somewhat surprising to me that this is so entwined with the story of the season and louis and claudia's struggles in paris but that i havent seen much discussion of it i guess.