#i cant keep up with this shit
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it's so fucking DIFFICULT managing a huge variety of symptoms and illnesses. it feels impossible to keep up with the care for 20+ conditions - im always falling behind or slipping up on something that'll inevitably cause damage to my already abysmal health.
#rambles#disability posting#i cant keep up with this shit#yesterday i lost half the day to a chronic fatigue spike#today my depression and ed are worse than usual#im trying to manage all these conditions without medical assistance bc i cant afford#the kind that i need and without a trained caretaker#my gf is lovely but shes ALSO disabled and has little to no idea on how to manage#my mental health symptoms that can get really bad really fast and need attention asap#if i had one condition flare or worsen every day each month id only have like a week or less or each month#where im sitting at baseline instead of crisis
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Thinking about DP x DC Jason Todd being a revenant again. Here's my scenario. Jason gets called that by some ghost. He's like "what the fuck is that supposed to mean?" He's heard the term before but he doesn't know any actual lore. He googles it. He scrolls past the Leonardo DiCaprio bear movie. He opens the wiki. Sees the words "animated corpse" and gets a chill diwn his spine. He starts reading the first section.
He closes Wikipedia.
That night he has a nightmare that his family buried him, again, this time with precautions. He wakes up in his own grave, full of stones, too heavy to move, to scream.
#CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS#like reading this section in the context of jason is SO HORRIFYING#the idea of someone knowing it was possible for him to come back. to wake up down there. and wanting to keep him there#stay dead. we want you dead. you're too troublesome alive. you're meant to be down there.#so anyways. jason internalizing all this shit and feeling uncomfortable in his own body because he's thinking of it as a corpse#and of himself as haunting a place he doesn't belong#and then meeting danny and danny says 'wow you're a revenant aren't you! The dead so restless they can't bear to stay in their graves'#and he smiles. 'You're amazing. Your will is so strong'#and the Ghost King tells Jason 'You're alive but that doesn't mean you aren't one of mine. I will come for you'#and batman says 'we will keep you safe from that entity and his threats. you don't belong to him'#and jason says 'he didn't mean i was his possession. he said i was his responsibility. he said he would help me if i ever needed him'#and bruce sees the faraway look in his son's eyes and doesn't know what to say#okay I'm done#for now#dp x dc#dpxdc#revenant jason todd#danny phantom#dc#batfam#jason todd#my rambles#my writing
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something about s1-3 zane is just. oh this guy is so silly and friend-shaped. look at his friendly boy swag. like????? how could you ever hate him. the ultimate silly
not to hate on his titanium era because frankly it is very cool. but the essence of s1-3 zane is unique and uncapturable. he is just a little guy you can put in your pocket. his default facial expression is so inherently funny. there are no thoughts behind these eyes. i would trust him with my life.
#its almost 3am and i cant sleep HELP ME#ninjago#lego ninjago#zane julien#ninjago zane#my post#does this make sense? i am so fond of him like platonically let me just state this isnt any funny business. i just think hes neat#all the ninja have been my favourite at one point or another in my life (its now cole) but this era of zane i will forever be biased for#again im not being a hater of the new state of the show lol most of the characters are way better but zane is the exception imo#you can't improve upon perfection i guess x#AMELIA GO TO BED ITS 3AM#me: hmmmm why is my sleep schedule so screwed? why do i keep waking up at midday?#and then this is the shit i do at 3am#average amelia antics#amelia isn't funny
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Learn from who? Learn from you?
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#nat chen#chen bowen#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#userspring#uservid#pdribs#userspicy#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#uh huh. mmhm. parallels and shit#OK LIKE. in nice words ai di essentially tells chen yi to go for it BUT bc hes a Lil Shit he says it like 'use force to PROVE how you feel.#followed by '.....OH WAIT YOU CANT BEAT HIM'. the way he rubs that in chen yi's face too like it isnt even 'youre weaker than him.'#it's you're LOWER than him. & thats why ai di calls him a coward bc therell always be a divide between chen yi & cdy that chen yi wont cros#and the point of this is - okay i know chen yi is literally picking ai di up and throwing him around here but also you have to remember#ai di LETS HIM. ai di doesnt fight back as hard as he could and that puts them on EVEN. EQUAL. GROUND. every time.#& yeah theres some comedy to it but you cant Ever forget that ai di wants chen yi to want him. needs it. he's faking sleep in the 1st scene#and once chen yi realizes what he wants he puts everything he has into keeping it - inadvertently taking ai di's advice by doing so -#& expresses it in every kind of way too. whatever it takes. bc between the two of them its not just 'bring him back' it's 'bring him HOME'#in a way thats based on the constantly being witness to the worst of each other & choosing it AND. years and layers of trust & love.#..ok only I would take a gifset of chen yi picking ai di up & make it abt how their relationship is perfectly balanced. but im right so idc#the last one ties it all together in my onion. chen yi got him home. and ai di's deliberately allowing himself to be loved. they won
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jiangshi emu!! 👻🩸
#more of this thing.#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#wxs#happy HALLOWEEN#for another like hournidk UHGGG FUCK I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP SOON LIKE A BABY.#jiangshi emu cured my art block i think. i'm free#Cant read any of my notifs bc i am getting the shit smacked out of me evil style keep it up everynyan
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vamp demo au... but.... yuri..........I cant stop posting about this au sorry gang.... I need to be sedated...
#tf2#art#team fortress 2#fanart#tf2 demoman#averiart#tf2 soldier#boots n bombs#fem fortress#this yuri shit got me fucked up#I cant keep drawing demo gay asf#or can i#hurhurhurhur#sigh
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all i got from this is that kaito's pick-up lines would totally work on shinichi lmaoooo
#LOOK AT HIM ALL BLUSHY AND SCANDALIZED#lmfaoooo#he got rizzed up by kaito and he didnt even realize 😭😭😭😭😭#OKAY BUT SHINICHI AND KAITO IN ONE MANGA PANEL OH MY GOOOOOF#ALSO AOKO PRETTY GIRL!!!!!!!! SHE'S SO CUTIEPIEEEEE UEEEE 🥺🥺🥺#kaito treat her better pls 😭 she deserves sm better 😭#okay so back to kaishin#LMFAO#Sorry my brain is rotten for them i fear#look gosho already got the canin pairing handled!!! whether he's handling it good or not is debatable lol but he's got that handled!!!!#we on the other hand need to speak up for gay detective and thief duo alongside the detco staf who keeps making gay merch#and op/ed scenes of them!!!!#LOL#so anyway yeah shinichi totally falls for kaito's pick-up lines lol#even more so if kaito tailor makes it for him oh he's GONE#lol#dc prattles#kaishin#rereading the tags and my GOD the misspellings are horrendous lmfaooooo#too bad i cant edit shit on mobile rip
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noah kahan really said growing up in a small, bitter hometown is about the rage and the hatred that's been sung about many times before but it's also about love and devotion and the 'all three of us were drowning and we didn't know how to save each other but there was an understanding that we were all drowning together' of it all and knowing people so intimately yet not being able to help anyone and he's morally grey at best in a lot of his songs and objectively the bad guy in others and that's just how it is and it's about substance abuse and normalised crime and teen suicide and country roads and failed exams and leaving and being left and love and hate and love and hate and love and
#anyway. listening to orange juice again. like it's my fault#girls when growing sideways and view between villages and northern attitude and homesick and stick season come on#like new england must actually be called that for a reason bc you cant convince me this guy isnt actually secretly singing about england#like even when he sings about the WEATHER im like !!! this guy gets it fr!!!#IM TIRED OF DIRT ROADS NAMED AFTER HIGH SCHOOL FRIEND'S GRANDFATHERS AND MOTHERFUCKERS HERE DONT KNOW#THEY CAUGHT THE BOSTON BOMBERS TIME MOVES SO DAMN SLOW I SWEAR I FEEL MY ORGANS FAILING I STOPPED CARING ABOUT A MONTH AGO#SINCE IT'S BEEN SMOOTH SAILING I WOULD LEAVE IF ONLY I COULD FIND A REASON IM MEAN BECAUSE I GREW UP IN NEW ENGLAND!!!#or the entirety of growing sideways. divvied up my anger into 30 seperate parts keep the bad shit in my liver and the rest around my heart#r u even listening. what the hell#HONEY COME OVEERRRRRR THE PARTY'S GONE SLOWERRR AND NO ONE WILL TEMPT YOU WE KNOW YOUVE GONE SOBER <- sobbing#noah kahan#stick season
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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"Oh no, someone's attracted to the aesthetics of my -punk movement but doesn't know the praxis and history behind it like I do--"
OK. Tell them. Make it a teaching moment. Everyone who's in your movement learned the background from somewhere at some point, maybe this is that point for that person. Give them a jumping off point that they can dive into later.
"Oh but I shouldn't be responsible for teaching baby -punks about the history and the how-tos and--"
OK. Then don't tell them. You don't have to be responsible for teaching people with a budding interest in your group the ins and outs and how-tos. That's fair and valid! It can be a lot of work. Someone else will handle it
"But I'm annoyed that they would try to claim to be part of/be interested in my community without knowing all the details that I know after being in it for months/years/decades, they're dumb, they're posers, they're--"
OK. Then don't engage with them, if it's that bad. Maybe someone else will come around and tell them the history, maybe they'll pick it up on their own, maybe they'll just enjoy the fashion elements for awhile.
"But they shouldn't claim to be part of the -punk community if they don't know the--"
I feel like we have a few options here. People can either talk to them, share the history, share the values, share the praxis. Or they can just chase off anyone who even thinks about dipping a toe in their community, and then wonder why it's dying off later down the line.
I dunno, maybe I'm too naive and patient or whatever. But if people are entering your -punk spaces without knowing The Rundown of what you feel they need to know, maybe being nice about it and informing people instead of immediately assuming stupidity and malicious intent could help you make a new friend. Even the loudest voices in a space had to learn from somewhere, and not everyone has the luxury of being in the space as the History was Happening--whether it's an age thing or a not being aware of the space thing. Or maybe I just don't see what the big deal is behind people hating people who like the aesthetic of something and don't know the behind the scenes history about it yet.
Because I believe in the word 'yet.' No one comes into this world knowing everything about everything, and we're all constantly learning new things. I'm not gonna degrade someone and call them a poser for not knowing what I know. Because if it were me, interested in a scene but getting chased out and called a poser? I wouldn't hit the books and study up, I'd go 'that fuckin sucks, those people sucked' and then avoid anyone and anything having to do with it.
So chase people off and call them posers if you want. But if your community starts dwindling, don't be fucking shocked.
#out of queue#ani rambles#punks and posers#i cant even call this a 4am hot take because its 7pm but like#idk i keep seeing posts about like 'how DARE people think I bought my punk clothes how DARE they not know the how-tos and DIYs'#or 'ugh people only care about the ~aesthetics~ of my movement if you don't know shit get out of here' and like#maybe I'm just a shy ass introverted nerd whos scared of social rejection! but I avoid that shit like the plague#so if someone were to reject me based on not knowing about something I'd never even heard about? something i was JUST getting into?#there's a high chance I'd just scram and never look back. i don't wanna be the one who causes that emotion in someone else#granted this is coming from someone who STILL doesn't know how to make her own patches or worked up the courage to do direct action praxis#outside of offering neighbors to my tomatoes and trying to talk to people about what I'm passionate about#but still imo unless someone's a malicious intentional bad actor i dont see the point in scaring newbies off#thats how movements die imo#i know this is my solarpunk blog but its not a solarpunk specific thing#i think the main post that inspired this was about store-bought versus self-made spiked leather jackets#which honestly just feels petty to me but who knows.#might delete later
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please help me by reblogging ‼️
hello im dylan. i make what money i can through doordashing but that barely covers even half of my bills and nowhere else will hire me rn (slow season in a tourist town). my car payment and car insurance are both scheduled to come out of my bank acct today and i barely have enough to cover the $135 in my checking account leaving me to have to use my credit card for my $150 car insurance. i also really need to buy groceries and get gas which i desperately need to keep working.
i currently am over $1000 in debt on my credit card and i really can’t afford to keep piling up the bills on it. the monthly fee ($99) for my HRT service just came out as well so i really need at least $400.
$155 (insurance) + $99 (hrt) + $60 (gas) + $100 (groceries) to at least get my credit card back down to only owing $1000. ideally i want to pay that all off but i know there’s no way i’m crowdfunding 1400. thank you guys this isnt terribly urgent but the sooner i can pay it off the better. ❤️
$60 / $400
#im so mad. my fucking car insurance price keeps going up and i dont know why. i dont get tickets i drive safely and make my car payments on#time. but nooo geico says kill yourself fagggot#anyway. of course no pressure to donate as always but sharing would be much appreciated#gonna queue this a bunch sorry in advance#thought i was over this!!! but nope. doordash doesnt pay jack shit either#if i cant figure something out ill have to move in w my mom across the country and id probably just kill myself there so! not ideal
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me: i should study
my last remaining brain cells:
video source
#ace attorney#ace attorney funny#apollo justice#dual destinies#spirit of justice#apollo justice ace attorney#been trying to tag this for like 5 minutes but i keep looking up and losing my shit#god i cant pull my eyes away#my favorite apollo is the one in a suit and glasses
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finally played tf2 for the first time the other day
#i did try the other classes like scout and demo but idk racking up kills isnt as appealing to me#plus i cant aim for shit#i hate spies with a passion now though i keep forgetting to check for them aughhhh#and i dont know when to pop the uber but most of the time i die before getting it fully charged 💀😭😭#tf2#team fortress 2#tf2 medic#my art
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Secret glances when they are not looking, admiring the beauty of their soul in their eyes, unspoken feelings floating in between.
#spy x family#yor forger#loid forger#twiyor#twiyor prompts#Eyes#holy shit that was poetic who am I?#I draw so slow I cant keep up with the prompts lol
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i just couldnt help myself
#baldurs gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanart#baldurs gate 3 fanart#astarion#halsin#bg3 astarion#bg3 halsin#artists on tumblr#illustration#i cant stop making meme shit im so sorry#if i make serious art ill give up and hate it#now#if i make shitposts??? theres the gold#my housemates keep walking in on me drawing this shit#anyway i cant help myself romancing these two every playthrough sorry everyone im predictable
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Finally watched Blue Eye Samurai and damn, this show really is everything everyone's been saying. But also man, it's really making me think how much I wish non-animated shows focused on visuals. With everything being nearly-fully CGI, why do movies and shows have to look so... boring? If a friend group with a 90s camcorder can do it, why can't Disney (check out GGLS btw)? Idk, just frustrates me. Anyway, here's this show being eye candy.
#GGLS is Green Goblin's Last Stand#legit for a film made by friends with pocket change it has some seriously impressive cinematography sometimes#blue eye samurai#mizu blue eye samurai#also MAN i love how they handle disabilities in the show#i cant speak for the amputee rep but as someone with speech impediments (stammer and a lisp) i adore the way they approached it#like “mind works so fast mouth can't keep up” is literally something i use to explain my stammer#and then portraying it not only as something undeserving of hate but also as beautiful and worth love/sexual desire?#man that shit put a giddy lil smile on my face#netflix#animation#mizu#takayoshi blue eye samurai
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