#i cant find it posted on any of the usual places online for some reason

[beansnpeets]

Realtor texted me today to let me know there is a house she can show me tomorrow. It was a bank repo, and it's 95k. She told me the address and I immediately knew which house. It's been listed for sale for YEARS. Big house, garage, fenced yard, wraparound porch. Initially, it was listed for 170k, and they keep dropping it because nobody wants it.

I'm going to see it tomorrow. If it's not in need of any major work, I will likely put an offer in. The house number is the same as my post office box number here (which will change when I move because it's a different town), and the street is my favourite number. So, despite that I always say I don't believe in fate, perhaps the universe is really trying to tell me something.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

i have left

hey everyone this will probably be the last thing i post on this blog albeit im keeping it up for resources.

im eternally grateful for how this community has helped me through prostitution and everything, i have amazing mutuals and i have learned so much 💜

but it has become toxic. many of yall cant handle disagreement and default to being as condescending and obnoxious as possible. one of us calling out a post is not enough, we have to dog pile everyone with a slightly shitty opinion. some of yall have severely lost the plot if you ever had it in the first place. not everything is that serious, especially when it comes to online drama.

im sick of it. so many engage in the same bullshit we accuse online trans activists of. this is an echo chamber. so many just mindlessly parrot slogans and arguments. what im very sick of is seeing single tweets or posts by a nobody, usually anonymous, being spread as receipts and shit. you know how annoying it is when everything a self proclaimed terf somewhere on social media says is taken by trans activists at face value and representative of the community when theyre not even radical feminist, just transphobic? yeah. yet a lot of yall do the same by saving and sharing „receipts“ where some random person who claims theyre trans (or not even) says some fucked up or out of pocket shit. you will always find people like that online, from any politicial „camp“ or ideological alignment!

a lot of yall seem to think that debate is about winning and not like, having an exchange of arguments and let the audience come to their own conclusion

and i just dont hate trans people. in fact i feel kinship to any female or homosexual trans person, anyone except heterosexual males. many of yall dont even realise how male centered you are when you more or less equal the trans community to heterosexual men who have a fetish for humiliation and forced feminisation or whatever. who exist and are an issue and i do wish the trans community at large would distance themselves from those men, but its not all there is to it. yes i agree that we need to protect vulnerable young people, girls and especially lesbians and gay boys, from being pushed into transitioning, i think the age of consent should be put at 21 or something, but we have to acknowledge and consider that there are people who have already transitioned and will transition in the future and i just dont understand how you cant have any empathy for them. no matter what you think about transition, many trans people ARE vulnerable and marginalised. plus consider how many detransitioned women are in this community yet yall talk about trans people as mutilated and shit its gross. in the end we can only try to establish structures that keep people from self harming, but an adult of sound mind has the right to do so anyways, including plastic surgery and trans surgeries. and i want to keep my arms open to them; but a lot of rhetoric around it spread on here will only alienate them further.

right now im saving all my essays in notes so its out of my mind. i have missed the community a lot so maybe i will return at some point but i have also been feeling better since i stopped being on radblr. i miss the rare valuable input and thoughts by other women but overall i have felt unaligned with how things have been handled on here. it has been mostly negative instead of constructive and pragmatic. ive had the impression some of yall enjoy the „being in the in-group“ community aspect more than actually being here for feminist exchange. lack of nuance, lack of empathy, lack of reason. it pains me but i have more and more come to understand why people just block us without engaging on general suspicion because ive also come to be annoyed with some of yall engaging with posts - and im on „your side“.

anyways im doing okay, im going to drug counselling regularly now and am trying to establish a stable life for those of you who inquired, and i hope anyone reading this is self reflected enough to know whether this applies to her or not. bye

[strangestcase]

i searched rick and morty on tumblr to rb memes about how justin roiland is a subhuman being and found a post about someone analyzing the incest in the show, detailing how fucked up it is and then complaining about antis being mad at it because its canon...

I think proshippers fail to see that, more often than not, incest appears in fiction as a plot point, usually as a condemnable action but not always. In their head, something like that appearing in a neutral-ish light, as part of a larger story, be it big or small, must either mean that the creator endorses it (which many times isn’t the case) or that it is a choice as inocuous as a character’s eye color and thus not an element of criticism… sure, it’s canon, but that doesn’t mean other fans aren’t allowed to be uncomfortable or even angry!

Incest IS a very charged, controversial plot point for a reason. Incest is something that happens in real life and is shorthand for abuse- a family member taking advantage of your bond or your closeness to hurt you. Of course some people will not like it when it is romantiziced, or even when it is depicted at all- we’re talking about a hot button for sexual trauma, sexual taboo, and even “off-limits” sexual fantasies. It is something that you are not required to stomach to enjoy a piece of art; if you’re disgusted with it to the point you’d rather walk away, you can just do that, and doing it doesn’t make you any weaker.

So in short I find it so weird that proshippers have this attitude about incest. “Well, it happens in this story, so suck it up.” You aren’t required to suck it up if you don’t want to, though. Analyzing incestuous relationships and how they affect the characters and plot IS important, sure, specially when we’re navigating sexuality and eroticism in their darkest shades. But the fact that this is an important exercise in media criticism, despite it being hard, doesn’t change that lots of people DO find it hard in the first place, particularly when certain sectors of online fandom cant seem to discuss it without also promoting it.

This got long lol but I had to get this out of my system.

[nt3000s]

the thing is that no matter how much you try to give the advice that artists need to create for themselves it just will never ever hit or work until they find and experience it for themself because of the way that most artists live we’re all just growing up online on social media where the only judgement of your talent and worth is via likes and shares and when you don’t get any of that attention it makes you feel like your art has no worth and very suddenly the only reason to ever create art in the first place is to post it online to feel like it means anything in the first place when worth shouldn’t be gauged on art like that. and when you begin to rely on likes and retweets and reblogs to measure the worth of your art it very suddenly sets this idea in people that there is no point in creating original content be it stories or ocs, to the point that i see most creators i follow feel shame in themselves for bringing up their OC content instead of their usual fandom content whenever they feel the desire to. and it just beats this idea into people that you’ll never ever be able to reach the following the fandom content you draw does, even though everything you draw fanart for was made by someone with as many stories as you, and your original content will never ever mean anything to anyone that follows you, but all that fanart does. and maybe im being too nihilistic, because being a fanartist gets creators off their feet and allows them to introduce their growing audience to their original content, but i just hate that it has to happen that way in the first place. i dont really want to feel guilty for drawing what i want to draw, be it that i draw some fanart for something and it gets a bunch of attention and i start to fucking hate myself for it because i get this unrealistic and awful idea that nobody cares if my art looks cool or if im good at what i do its just about when its what other people want. and the idea of ‘creating for yourself’ as a creator becomes a very very far away goal to reach with this mindset that i cant shake. i dont really know what point i want to make here, i suppose this is just something ive always and will always be depressed about, but i guess really im very thankful to everyone that likes what i make and sees it truly with care. not out of a sense of friendship but for admiration of what it is and that maybe its interesting or something like that. and i want to do better on my part to support and bring up these very small and personal creations that we all have that its hard to feel confident about with the way the art world is, i dont want to live in this world where every artist is fighting for relevance and hating eachother when someones original content gets attention and yours doesnt when we all barely have 10 active followers. i love artists, i love writers, i love the worlds and things that people create and i want it to be shared more. i dont want to live in a world where people feel guilty for making what they want to. i guess i just wish it was easier, or that i didnt feel guilty for hating what i make in the first place like im not allowed to, i want to be kinder to myself, and love what i do more. i want everyone to be kinder

[spikeinthepunch]

i really wanna pull back to my website. i think i lost track of my initial "personal website" hype as at the time, while i was all excited to get on it and did have fun, i wasnt in a great place? mainly in terms of having a social circle online. which i think is important to think about. social media pulls you in by the interaction- quick ability to chat, pass around posts with rts or rbs, like them. the reason many get stuck to it is because of that- you want interactions. especially as an artist or any creator you are likely posting with the intent of gaining an audience. and so looking for validation in the form of interaction is common.

this is 100% something i fall into. and even more so, i have lacked a circle of people to call friends online esp after my rp. i have mutuals. mutuals who are all lovely! but lets be real, how many of you do i talk to in PMs or on discord?? probably 1% of you, and its no problem with you.... i just find it harder to connect online than ever before. unless i get overly passionate with mutuals i have strong interests with, and more of them go out of their way to openly interact (talking on reblogs, replying on posts), its unlikely i will figure out how to connect either. aside from it potentially being my problem, i do think social media normalizes 'passive interaction'. a simple reblog and nothing more, quiet tags in a post, just a like, never sending asks (or doing so on anon).

back when i wass 10-14 online, it seemed easy. i think when youre younger there is more excitement to have online friends, and kids can often be just... more boisterous online as its a space where you can be yourself for real. i never stopped being myself online, i just find myself tired, busy, or having trouble engaging with exciting fandoms like i used to because im aware of how toxic some can be. so it wasnt until late last year where the ball started rolling- i started actually making connections with people through single-malt-sctoch esp after some joined my mc server. majority were from my sideblog and thus enjoyed that fandom. suddenly it was like i was back in mindcrack from my earliest days on tumblr. id never gained such an active group of mutual connections, and thus friends.

thats what i realized i was missing in order to purely dive into the personal website life i think. if i were to go off to my website and have no friends then im just isolated, or pulled back to social media in order to feed myself with social interactions (which direct one are far and few in between- usually still just rt's, likes, etc which arent actually satisfying in the end) . of course i will still be here sharing my art, esp for the sideblog i am actively making stuff for. and ill still attempt things like youtube etc and share projects! but it helped to realize not being able to have friends i could contact in places like discord was making it hard for me to focus on the site. of course i want to socialize, but it is hard to do so when you cant make obvious connections, and as hard as it was trying to step into actually gaining more than just mutuals, its happened and i really want to utilize that.

[st-just]

I have a bit of a question here with a probably long answer but you reblogged a post a while ago about ttrpg culture that linked another post and I was really curious why it is people say you cant or shouldnt hack 5e into a sci-fi campaign. I did it just fine with little effort outside of the usual task of building out a world (or several in this case) for it. Granted its essentially spelljammer meets shadowrun but thats still sci-fi enough to have been told time and again by people online that it cannot work

Like I get starfinder exists but im really comfortable in 5e and overall I find starfinder, like pathfinder, relies on a lot of modifiers for rolls, where 5e's math is simpler overall since there are less floating modifiers to calculate, and most importantly my players didnt want to learn a new system since a few of them have trouble committing all the rules to memory and JUST picked up 5e for our other campaign.

Overall people always act like it could never work and theres never any reason to try, even in situations like this i should have just slapped my players with my starfinder book instead of just changing up how a some of the spells work, and the campaign was great, so why is it that people are so insistent on not even trying to do it?

re

So I've never actually played/looked at Starfinder, but to the extent it's 'Pathfinder IN SPAAAACE' it's, like, possibly the single worst possible suggestion to give someone when you're trying to explain the benefits of a non-D&D system, so not sure what the people who say that stuff are really talking about. (Even saying pathfinder/starfinder isn't D&D seems like useless pedantry to me. It's all just Edition 3.75 but with a third party publisher)

But to actually answer the point - there's no problem at all hacking D&D 5e to run Sci Fi instead of Fantasy - the difference is basically set dressing and aesthetics and renaming all the magic stuff. But the sci fi it's good at is still very distinctly D&D sci fi - a zero-to-hero adventure series where the challenges and obstacles the heroes face are primarily expressed in terms of physical harm and danger, and which are primarily defeated through small-scale violence between the protagonists and their opponents.

Like, if you're willing to squint about character classes and whatever, D&D can do something like Mass Effect fine. It would really, really struggle to do Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. (Or I mean, you could do Duet or By Pale Moonlight as D&D sessions, but they would be roughly 90% freeform roleplay with a few die rolls thrown in here and there to keep up appearances. At which point why did you spend an hour doing all the math for character creation in the first place?)

Honestly I think a decent chunk of the rhetoric around this is kind of cartoonishly vitriolic and pretty unbecoming, but it is kind of painful to try and hack at the thing to tell stories it's not at all suited for (if you're not looking for power fantasy pulpy heroic tactical violence, don't use the game that spends 90% of its word count on that!).

(The other thing is that D&D very much relies on the players as acting as independent agents - if you're character isn't someone who solves problems by personally charging into danger, and whose primary problem solving toolkit can be expressed in terms of tactical violence, they just don't really work as a D&D character.)

...sorry, it's pretty late and I'm rambling. Hopefully I understood what you were getting at?

[noritoshiikamo]

this is how you fall in love

pairing: kuroo tetsuroo + fem!oc genre: friends into lovers fluff with slight suggestive end tags//warning: nothing major // slight suggestive at the end if you squint enough note: the obligatory trio of mine: not well edited, lowercase intended, english isnt my first language im sorry if i murder it. o wow look ive been posting back to back, ive been writing nonstop lately watch me ghost my stories in few weeks guys my brain = rotting, plus lately ive been feeling emotionally abuseddrained so i need something fluffy

listen to this is how you fall in love by jeremy zucker + chelsea cutler for maximum feels

“you’re a lifesaver.”

kuroo huffed, eyes rolling back with a small laugh as he unlaced his sneakers and slipped the room slipper on. it was odd to see the gymnasium without any nets or balls sprawled around. the gym has been closed for a week now in preparation for the upcoming open school event and currently under the art club’s jurisdiction. under her jurisdiction with her canvases and paints and it pained him to see her ruining his sacred place. he carried two plastic bags and holding two boba teas in the same hand. he wasn’t sure which one she was more excited for; the boba, the paints she made him ran to an art supply shop or him. she reached out, the bobas in his hand exchanged as she settled it on the floor, and she squealed at the sight of the plastic bag. he frowned.

yup, not him.

tins of different colors of paint that she ran out mid painting that she forgot to buy had her dialing his number and now it’s all here. all thanks to kuroo tetsuro. she grimaced at the price tags; it was costly than her usual one. usually, she would’ve gotten her supplies online, but desperate measure calls for desperate solution. she could always claim her expenses with the club. typical kuroo, she huffed. he always preached about getting the best, not minding the price tags but she’ll be the victim of his nonstop complaining that he’s getting broke every single day. she tucked a stray hair back and mentally counted how much she owed the man as she arranged the tins on the table.

kuroo noticed that look; same look she had when they are in the math class and he clicked his tongue, “tch, you’re not paying.”

“i’m reimbursing you with the club money,” she shook her head and reached for her bag, “please kuroo, it’s so expensive.”

he reached for her wrist and she dropped the tote bag as he invaded her space. kuroo rested the palm of her hand right above his heart, his own around the waist and another under her chin as he tilted her chin up. his heartbeat was erratic, and she flushed. “it’s okay,” he said, softly. her lips formed into a small pout and he fought the urge to just kiss her.

their dynamic is something even kenma couldn’t figure it out.

they weren’t exactly dating. they are friends, close friends, and classmates. it has always been him, her and occasionally yaku; creating the chaotic duo/trio of class 5. they both played volleyballs, both captains while he’s the middle blocker, she’s their female team’s setter. they knew a lot of each other’s friends from other schools; he was the reason why she dated akaashi keiji from the first place. it was selfish of kuroo to admit to bokuto a month after they started dating that he disliked the idea of them together. typical kuroo is no longer snarky, he felt lost, felt like he was losing his other half. so, he confided to his close friend, the simpleton ace.

“you didn’t make any moves, kuroo, you can’t blame them.”

bokuto noted as them both stared at the two setters, playing around the fallen cherry blossoms. bokuto never seen akaashi smiled that much and kuroo could only wished that she smiled the same way to him. kuroo stared at the half bitten onigiri he’d been holding, suddenly every bite he took tasted bitter. every trace of akaashi on her gave him bitter taste. she liked wearing akaashi’s jersey; kuroo longed to see her in his own numbered jersey; she’s his number one after all. her own jersey number is as same as akaashi. it’s not like kuroo could hate anything he did; he treated her well. akaashi was a perfect boyfriend and everyone knew. that’s why kuroo hates him; he gave him no reason to hate the dude. it didn’t last long however, they drifted apart 6 months later, sending her to kuroo’s doorstep soaked in rain.

he stared at her soaked figure with no thoughts in mind.

“he dumped me,” she said, voice hoarse and shivering.

he was alone and was about to leave for kenma’s, but he couldn’t leave her alone. dropping his keys on the small table by the door, he threw his jacket back in the closet. “come in,” he whispered, pulling her figure in. dropping her bag on the floor, she clutched on his sleeves as she kicked off her soaking shoes. “i’m sorry, my mom isn’t home and i can’t find my keys,” she was a blabbering mess and he hushed her. he left her for a few minutes, coming back with a steaming towel and a clean shirt and pants. “it’s from the dryer. you can borrow my sister’s clothes,” grabbing her hands, they ran upstairs where he took her to the bathroom. she was too quiet, so he called her name. when she looked up to him, her eyes were red. she was no longer crying, more confused and upset. her cheeks flushed and he could see her teeth chattering. he wished nothing but to throw his fist at the man. finally, he got a reason to square up the stoic man; he always hates the way nothing could riled up akaashi.

“he’s stupid for doing you like this.”

she shook her head, “it’s nobody’s fault.”

“then stop blaming yourself,” he ruffled her hair, a small smile appeared from the corner of her lips as she watched him disappeared closing the door behind him. he left her with the hot water running, urgently grabbing the mop and bucket from the kitchen, and wiping the trail of her soaked feet has left before it could ruin the wooden floor.

cant come over, busy, ill tell u later

kuroo texted kenma. the pudding head left him on read.

they spend the night together, sitting on the floor with pillows pilling against the end of the bed as they sat in arms. he had his tv opened to one of the late-night game show. they sat in silence, her head rested on his shoulder and her lips pressed into a tiny line. at the corner of his eyes, he could see her phone’s notifications blaring despite being on mute. the number isn’t saved but it was familiar. she deleted his number already, probably out of rage, but it’s a good step.

tell me where you want me to drop your stuff im sorry i hope youre okay y/n? i heard it was storming did you make it back home? give me a call im calling you okay?

just as like what the message stated, the unknown number called her. it startled her which startled him too. she stared down on the screen, he noticed the grip on the phone and wondered how the phone did not break yet. “can you answer it for me?” she said, holding the phone out to the black-haired man. shocked, he took the phone and pressed the green button. he pressed the phone to his ear and heard her name being called.

“hey man,” kuroo cleared his throat, “listen-”

“she’s with you?” the voice- akaashi asked.

looking down on the girl who was pretending to not have any interest in the call at all, eyes focused on the gameshow, kuroo sighed.

“she is. listen, i think you should leave her alone.”

“kuroo, i know about your feelings. for her. bokuto-san told me about it. if you think that this is the proper way to get her when she’s vulne-”

kuroo bit the inside of his cheeks. he was offended that akaashi dared to call him out like that. “so, what? she made her pick,” the girl turned to face him, brows up wondering what they are talking about.

“that’s low, even for you, kuroo-san.”

their eyes met. he didn’t even realize how deep the cut on his palm where he had balled his fingers into a fist until she touched it. he calmed down. “you hurt her. you have no right to say what’s low or not. be a bigger man, leave her alone,” he muttered flatly, before ending the call. they didn’t break eye contact until he realized what he had done.

“i-i shouldn’t have done that.”

she shook her head, “stop blaming yourself,” a small smile on her face.

that was 3 months ago.

kuroo had made moving on easy for her. akaashi and her remained friendly, although kuroo noticed that she tended to avoid him when possible. the breakup was indeed mutual, but merely on the fact that he lost feelings. akaashi had fallen out of love with her and in love with some other girl but who was she to judge when she was falling in love with the rooster head in silence. they still hang out with bokuto and akaashi but rarely with the latter.

she made him apologized to the fukurodani’s setter too and they remained on friendly term, still practiced together whenever they have training camps together where akaashi had admitted one training night that kuroo and her looks better together. kuroo didn’t say anything, not that he knew what to reply to that (his mind scream fuck yeah we do) but shrugged at his statement. “i guess dating her made you less pain in the ass, kuroo-san,” akaashi joked as they resumed the game.

kuroo was pulled back to reality when he felt his lips brushed against something. his eyes widened when he realized what it was. a quick kiss from her. he blinked frantically, trying to comprehend what had just happened which caused the girl to laugh. “did you just?” he asked confused by what had just happened which she nodded. she bit her bottom lip to hold herself from bursting into a laugh. “god, you should see your face. it’s so stupid. and every girl called you the playboy captain huh?”

he huffed and rolled his eyes, “i am not. i’ve been loyal to one girl for many years now, she is the one who hasn’t notice me at all,” he faked his pout, refused to look her directly in the eyes, praying that she wouldn’t notice his reddening cheeks.

“she must’ve been so stupid,” she teased, her nose rubbing gently against his jawline as she rested her figure against his closer. his chin rested against her head.

“she is,” he looked down on her, his arms around her waist tighter, “i don’t think she knows this but if she leaves me, i think i’ll be so broken inside. is it selfish to say that?” a small frown appeared on her face.

“i don’t think she ever talked about leaving you.”

a grin grew on his face, “so you know who i’m talking about huh?” she fell into his trap. she rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out, calling him stupid. he studied her face, his grin softened into what yaku and his volleyball team called the kuroo is stupidly in love with y/n but refused to admit face. his fingers ran into her hair which she had been growing out in few months down to her shoulder because she thinks that he likes her better that way. the way she tried to subtly put on make up to look better that the other girls who’s shamelessly flirting with him. she was too stupid to realize that he had loved her beyond that.

he loves the rough pads on her hands from holding her paintbrushes and volleyball. he loves that she works hard for everything she’s doing be it studying, volleyball or arts, she would put her blood, sweat and tears into it. he loves that she would wait for him to buy lunch so they can eat together in class. he would buy her a box of milk which she insisted that she doesn’t need too; but he convinced it would be good for her. he wants the best for her.

he loves that all the missing clothes he’s complaining about is in the back of her closet or on her. his cream hoodie hanging behind her closet door, his random pile of t-shirts in a basket on the floor of her closet that he liked to left beside the mix pile of her shoes and his one big ass nike shoes. her room isn’t messy, it is because she kept the messiness in her closet. she also like to keep random stuff of him too. the one medal he won from a science fair hung on the headboard of her bed, the misshapen looking hand wax sculpture of their hands intertwined from a funfair where she rested a purikura of them on it and a lucky bamboo plant he gave on her birthday to compromise on the no gift rule.

“for luck,” he grinned.

unlike hers, he kept her item neatly in his drawer. your spare shirts that he borrowed and refused to return, extra towel and her toiletries, some of her drawing blocks and a small cat shaped pouch where she kept her allergies medication. mostly hidden because his annoying friends come over often and would accidentally talk about it in front of his grandparents. but, on his bedside table, he has a cup of pencils by the bed where he collected the art supplies she left behind, random markers and paintbrushes, a clay sculpture of a trinket plate she made from art club (she carved a tiny letter k in the corner beside the obvious looking genitalia drawing) and a fake plant which she was sure he will not be able to kill it.

he loves it when she wore his jersey. he lost his mind when he found out that her current season number is the same as his. he’s in love. the first time he saw her in his jersey, the number one jersey on her body was during their training. he lost concentration; mouth hung a bit. he got so flustered that he let lev served the ball straight to his head. usually, lev would be dead by now, but he doesn’t mind. his nose bled but to see her kneel beside him, clutching on his own shirt screaming how stupid he is, wiping the blood away with towel, he could only say how pretty she looked. all his teammates were startled, her included. she clutched on his collar angrily; her knees stung from when she leaped down to his side, but this idiot could only smile at her with a bloody nose. “you are fucking idiot,” she cried out angrily, pushing him away before throwing the towel on his face leaving the pleased third year laying on the floor.

he loves the way she would find a way to impress him, be it as ridiculous as the halloween costume idea she had where they’ll go as the front and end of a horse or as serious as the submitted college application to the same university he had gotten into. “you are not getting rid of me that easily, tetsu,” the evil look on her face as she clicked the submit button send shivers down his spine.

“if you leave, i think i’ll cry,” he confessed, his smile slowly died.

“kuroo tetsuro is going to cry after me?” she teased. he nodded eagerly. “does kuroo tetsuro realized that we are literally moving into the same university? i couldn’t catch a break from him,” she faked her annoyance which he playfully avenged by sending her on the floor laughing as he tickled her. tears trickled down her cheeks as she begged him to stop, screaming to get away from his grip. “please, kuroo, i’m going to pee if you don’t stop!” he obliged, tears prickled the corner of his own eyes from laughing too much. straddling her waist, he gathered her wrists in one hand over her head. “apologize and said that kuroo tetsuro is the best man in your life or i swear i’ll make you pee,” he threatened her playfully, wiggling the fingers of his free hand close to her waist. her eyes widened in fears.

“that’s not fair!”

“apologize first.”

“fine!” she pouted, “i’m sorry, i won’t make fun of you again. now get off me!”

he raised his eyebrow, “andddd?”

“annddd-” a teasing smile appeared on her face as she said the next 5 words that send him to mars and back; “i love you kuroo tetsuro.”

he froze in shock. he heard the words before but never in this way; never for him.

finally, i think i got the calculation, love you yaku! lev you’re adorable but so stupid, i love it! thank you for letting me borrow your game, kenma. you’re the best, love ya!

the grip on her wrists loosened. taking advantage of his shock state, she pushed him back, straddling him by the waist, pinning his own hands above his head, giving him the taste of his own medicine. “i’m not going to leave your sorry ass, tetsu. i hope you don’t regret it,” she leaned down, capturing his lips with a longer kiss. letting go of his wrist, her hand went immediately into his rooster hair while another cupped his cheek, deepening their kiss. she could feel his cold palm resting against her bare waist and she shuddered. between the kisses, he heard her whispering his name. “kuroo, do you love me too?” she asked so innocently with kisses between the words but the way she grabbed a handful of his hand in a fist felt so dirty, eliciting a strangled moan from the back of his throat. she pulled back, staring down on his eyes as his lips moved.

“i love you too.”

nothing in his hazel eye but sincerity. he groaned when she pulled herself out of his reach, missing her warm body as she laughed. straightening her sweater back, pulling her hair back up into a tighter ponytail before she picked up the paintbrush she dropped. the paintbrush left a white stain on the court. as if kuroo wasn’t here, whimpering underneath her a minute ago, she continued her work. “i need to finish the mural by this week and you’re not exactly helping me,” she warned him, pointing the wet brush his direction. through the corner of her eyes, he was propped on his elbows, still staring at her, causing her to blush profusely. it annoyed him that she would tease him, then leaving him high and dry. before she could crack open the new paint tin, he ignored her warning as he tackled her back into his arms.

breathless against her lips, he told her to continue later. the urgency and rawness of his voice made her putty immediately. looking up the man, she pouted her lips.

“kuroo-san,” she whined as he captured her bottom lips.

he elicited a soft moan from the girl. he grinned against her lips. a hand rested firmly beside her head while another snaked under the sweater. there will be bruise tomorrow, she was sure of it, he will make sure of it.

“it will be quick, baby. i promise.”

she has no objection.

[applepi1101]

every single question with rory if you would

oh my god-

okay this is a long post I'm so sorry:

1. What’s your oc’s most irrational fear? Is there a specific reason this fear came about?

He's very afraid of going too far.. specifically when in a relationship with someone. His dad was not the best with consent and he saw how much it hurt his mom.. Rory is very careful about consent and if his partner looks even the slightest bit uncomfortable he would feel,, so bad.

2. Is your oc picky about food? What kinds of foods do they like and dislike? What do they consider a comfort or “safe” food?

He's baby he's very picky. He hates seafood. he doesn't like fish. uhhh,, he enjoys chocolate and fruity (hard)candy! also: pasta

3. What does your oc’s voice sound like? (Or, if you have one, what’s their voice claim?) Can they sing, whistle, or roll their rs? Do they have any speech impediments or notable dialects/accents?

He can sing a little, he cant do anything fancy but he has pretty good control. he can whistle really loudly and he uses it to annoy people [cough] amanda [cough]. he cant roll his rs but he will try his hardest. he sounds like alucard from Castlevania and I'm not sorry for that.

4. Is your oc good at keeping secrets?

He's pretty average at it. He tries his best but he's just as prone to slip-ups as the rest of us.

5. What kind of clothes is your oc most comfortable wearing?

He likes something comfortable when he's just hanging out in the castle. but when he has something important to do he likes to dress up a little fancy. he likes capes a lot!!

6. What kind of clothes is your oc least comfortable wearing?

probably like.. something super revealing.. he's still king and the thought of being caught out in something 'indecent' stresses him out a little. he still has a reputation to uphold.

7. What song reminds you of this oc? Does this match up with the type of music your oc likes to listen to?

World's Smallest Violin- AJR def reminds me of Rory. I think Rory would probably listen to similar music too.

8. What’s it like inside your OC's mind? (Literally, or metaphorically.)

Rory has a few worries but overall he's quite good at not letting himself get overwhelmed by things. he's genuinely full of love and it takes a lot out of him to keep all of it inside.

9. What are your oc’s goals for the future? Relationship-wise, career-wise, or other?

he kinda wants to get married. other than that he's fine with the way things are. he's definitely more of a 'in the moment' thinker. he thinks about the future when its important but he prefers to keep his mind in the present.

10. Who’s the first person your oc goes to to talk about something that made them happy? Sad? Angry?

amanda is his #1 go to. he knows that she wont judge him for anything and he's just gone to her for everything since he was a tiny little man. next would be his romantic partner and sean.

11. Does your oc have any interests/hobbies that they hide from everyone? Why do they hide these interests?

he loves collecting things!!! his favorite things to collect are probably bottle caps and coins!! he kind of only hides this because it doesn't ever come up in conversation. if you gave him a cool coin or bottle cap he would love you forever.

12. How does your oc handle talking to somebody they can’t stand? What if it’s a situation where they’re forced to work with this person?

he tries to be civil. but if they continue to piss him off then he'll become really snappy. if he's forced to work with them then he'll probably manage. he'll hate every minute of it, but he knows he has to do it.

13. What’s your oc’s dream home like?

probably something cozy. he likes the castle but it seems like so much space and a lot of it goes unused. it sounds a little silly but he kinda likes the idea of a small house in a nice neighborhood, a place he can know by heart yknow.

14. If your oc spent one day free from any consequences or recognition for their actions, how would they act?

He would probably run away lmao. not forever though, he loves his people and he would rather die than leave them with his father as their only ruler. at the moment he just has no vacation time and a day he can have just for himself would be too good for him to pass up.

15. What’s your oc’s morning routine like?

he wouldn't get up early if amanda didn't wake him up every morning. but usually around 7 or 8 he's out of bed and brushing his teeth. he has a skincare routine that i wont go into because. no. but he usually takes a while to get ready in the morning.

16. What’s your oc’s nighttime routine like?

he takes the LONGEST showers.. he likes to wait until his hair completely dries before going to bed.. so.. he usually goes to be a while after his shower :,,)

17. If your oc had a social media page, what would it be like? What would they post about? How much personal information would they feel comfortable posting on it? How often would they update it?

when he first sets up an account he would probably post about anything and everything he's interested in, after a while he would calm down a bit. he would be almost fully open about who he is online. he's well known anyway, and he has nothing to hide.

18. How does your oc see themself? How does this compare to the way other ocs see them?

He sees himself as a leader (and he is). most people would agree that he gives off 'powerful man' vibes, but the people that he's closest to know that he's just a sweetie.. he's so caring and ready to help anyone that needs it.

19. How would an enemy describe this oc?

they would probably think that he's childish. Rory is very protective of things that have been put under his protection, and he takes any loss very hard. however: Rory is good at what he does and he's always trying his best, so that might leave his enemy more than a little annoyed.

20. What’s a superpower or magical ability that this oc would hate having?

He would hate anything that involved touch.. he likes to be touchy with the people he loves so not being able to do that would upset him a lot.

21. What’s a fact you haven’t shared about this oc?

please.. this man is afraid of monkeys..

22. What’s your oc’s dream job? Is this similar to what they’re doing now? Do they believe they could ever achieve this dream?

he cant really see himself doing anything else. he was raised knowing that he was going to rule a country and he never really thought of doing something else.

23. Who would this oc consider their family? What is their relationship with these people?

his mom maybe. he hates his dad. amanda and sean are def people he considers his family. he grew up with Amanda and she's always helped him with everything. sean has been helping him out since he was fifteen and yknow. they talk about boy stuff. (also basil in that one specific au with squills mafia ocs)

24. What is one thing that, no matter who it’s coming from, would anger your oc?

Please please please, do not compare him to anyone else. he hates being compared to other people, even if its supposed to be a compliment. he spent so long being compared to his dad please just let him be his own person.

25. How does your oc handle sadness?

he doesn't get sad all that often (he usually gets angry as opposed to just.. sad..) but when he is sad he kind of.. tries to ignore it..

26. How does your oc handle anger?

he hates to admit it but he has some trouble controlling his anger... he's good at controlling his other emotions but just.. when he's angry he tends to let go of everything else and its very destructive.

27. How does your oc handle fear?

he's definitely one to ignore fear. He has a very dominant personality and his first instinct is to protect, so he finds himself ignoring his own feelings more often than not.

28. What’s your favorite thing about this oc?

he's so fun,, i love him because he just,,,, he's such a sweetie,,

29. What’s your least favorite thing about this oc?

He's probably one of my most inconsistent ocs.. his personality is somewhat unpredictable and he seems like he's always growing.. and thats a good thing but by god if it isn't hard to keep track of.

30. Tell a random fact about this oc!

he fucking loves dinosaurs.

[helpibrokemybrain]

writing-prompt-s facelessnamelessanarchist Follow

Follow welcomedhappiness Farewell online privacy

Follow tikalgirl What happened?

xdvisyrx Trump happened.

Follow pizzaalle just get a VPN?

Follow earth-ruins You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do! So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do? A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it) But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit) Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want). Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security. There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst): The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source) There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page. Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/ Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part

of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest) Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy) This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously. EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research!

writing-prompt-s I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it.

Follow rabbittiddy Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

Follow thecrystalfems He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

Follow coltrer Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it.  btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

Follow imthedoctor12 @earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

writing-prompt-s If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruinsadvice. Do your own research first.

writing-prompt-s @elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). SourcesAnger as US internet privacy law scrapped  Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history  To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

Follow greeneyespurpleheart Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass. With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN. Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

joyfuldefender Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

Follow li-ionsandtigersandbears Reblogging again bc this is important

Follow mermaidz4ever We have a VPN you should get one too

killmongersbaby Please read.

Follow bae-in-maine Can you get them for your phones?

Follow kika-lei ^ you can. & when you have a subscription you can use it on your phone and computer. no need for separate subs or purchases. it is absolutely so important for safety. but one of my fave things to do with my vpn is access non-US netflix. I mean other places have all the new good place eps, all the ‘classic’ bggo eps…

i-cant-remember-who-i-am IMPORTANT

Follow theriflemanofroblox reblogging so new people can be aware :)

Follow facelessnamelessanarchist Long as hell, but read it!!!

Source: welcomedhappiness

————————— I found this post and I thought it was important but tumblr wouldn’t let me reblog it for some reason so I copy/pasted it because I’m not very tech savvy

[dbssh]

*PLEASE* tell me more about Daniel...

OH MAN i dont know a lot about what to say im just!!!! thinking about him so much. i said that i wouldnt go too in-depth with him because hes supposed to be just for funsies but im stupid so! ive been sketching out something of a plot for him & fifteen nd them Bonding and Escaping The Evil Laboratory Together and ive just been thinking about them like. living together after its all over n trying to live a normal life even when theyre all like. fucked up. idk but!!! because im rambling im gonna go into a list of random facts so i can try to stay a lil organized.

for a bit, Daniel just has the big mouth on his face and he can't really speak with it for a lot of reasons, so Fifteen teaches him sign! at first he just learns fingerspelling and spells out every word, and thats fine for a bit! but once theyre out daniel prefers to use sign in public because he tries to cover his face and neck as much as possible, and speech just doesnt... feel all that natural or comfortable with the second mouth anyways, so they both end up learning a lot more!

after they get out, daniel very impulsively rips off his number, which is a peice of cloth (or something? idk) the doctor actually like, sewed onto his skin, so that was probably not a smart move on his part. but later he gets a tattoo around the scar. i havent decided what of yet, but yeah.

fifteen actually leaves hers on! shes okay with her name being a number because like, shes never had any other name and she doesnt really like. give a shit what people call her. so for her its just a fun little name tag!

before everything happened, Daniel used to play guitar! he gets back into it after they get out as a sort of stress relief/distraction. he's not great but thats not really what matters.

he gets back into fishing, too! he doesnt hunt anymore, and he never keeps the fish he catches, he just finds it calming. sometimes he just doesnt put any bait on the hook and he'll just sit there for like. hours. just chillin. being by the water is nice, too.

they tried living in an apartment in the city for a bit but the noise and all the people around was just. so overwhelming for daniel. he spent most of his time inside and didnt ever go anywhere or do anything unless he absolutely had to. so as soon as they had the money to they got a place further into the countryside, near a smaller town. i still havent really decided like, where the fuck they are but dont worry about it. maybe like the midwest or the south or something. idk

fifteen gets into puzzles and video games! she finds an old console and absolutely slams through all the games she can get her hands on. she loves turn-based strategy games and also minecraft :D. she also eventually learns about online shooter games like overwatch and tf2 and. she is so fucking good at them. gamer gf.

fifteen is also super hyped to learn about fashion!!! she didnt wear clothes in the facility because she didnt have any and didnt see the need for any because she doesnt have like, boobs or anything. but when she learns that clothes can just be worn because theyre colourful and fun? she goes ham. she loves big long skirts and colourful t-shirts and anything brightly coloured. never shoes tho, she doesnt like them.

that said her fashion isnt like. good persay. yknow that post about how femmes all dress like miss frizzle? she does that but with slightly less coordination.

daniel doesnt have good fashion sense either sjdbdhdh hes a redneck butch at heart. genuinely owns at least one pair of camo cowboy boots, 90% of his wardrobe is denim.

their house is very sparsely decorated but at the same time very odd. like the few things they have are all things that they really, really liked and since neither of them have Normal or Good taste, they have some very uh. questionable decorations. basically just scroll thru shiftythrifting for a while and u will understand the vibe.

neither of them have cell phones. not for any real reason just. they dont have anyone to call. they dont need or want social media. if they really need something they can use the computer or the landline.

fifteen is very monotone with a pretty non-expressive face and she mostly just looks kinda o_o all the time.

daniel on the other hand is expressive to the point where he's embarrased about it, even when its harder to tell with his weird face. he's usually just like. in a state of mild crankiness but when its just him and fives he actually like. idk shes very calming for him in a way that is unfamiliar, but not unwelcome.

their home is usually very quiet! daniel doesnt speak a ton and fifteen is okay with that, and neither of them are really that big on music, preferring just to let it be quiet. its especially nice once they live near the river.

daniel has a lot of issues with chronic pain from his teeth, which just kind of. keep growing, all the time. once they get to the point where its like, he cant close his mouth anymore, then it becomes a problem that they actually have to like, Do Something about. (the doctors solution was to just rip out all his teeth every few years. obviously he's not too keen on that.) they end up just filing them down which still sucks and is difficult and annoying but. u gotta do what u gotta do yknow

i still dont know how but they do figure out a way to kiss that is good and comfortable for both of them. theyre not like, super outwardly fluffy and affectionate all the time but. they do still have their moments of softness

[vegetacide]

Tagged

Tagged by @gumnut-logic  :)

1. Would you rather accessorize with scarves or necklaces?

Scarves,  cause I like soft stuff to snuggle and hide my face in.

2. How old were you when you first saw mountains? (Or if you haven’t seen mountains, what do you imagine they’re like?)

Smokey Mountains on a road trip... erm.. in my mid teens I guess...

3. Do you make your bed in the morning?

It a habit I recently started when we first went on lock down to help me get my day started... prior to that.. hell no as I would just be crawling back into them later.

4. What type of stories did you like as a child?

Book wise when I was little.. anything my Dad would read to me at bedtime...As a teenager it was Sci-fi, fantasy and romance and hopefully all in the same book. 

5. What was the most exhilarating experience of your life?

Hmm ...no idea so will pick some at experience at random... sailing through a sun shower in St. Thomas on one of our honeymoon excursions to see sea turtles in their natural habitat. ...

Snorkeling for the first time in the ocean..

Skiing down a winter slope when I was a kid and somehow not managing to kill myself (I suck at skiing) 

First day we brought my daughter home from the hospital.. feels surreal as I sit here to think the 5 year old softly snoring beside me was once sooooo small and it was ONLY 5 SHORT YEARS AGO.  Dude, when they say the little years go by fast.. they weren’t kidding..

Oh.. and of course walking down the isle and somehow not tripping over my feet and face planting in front of my family and friends as I was shaking like a leaf caught in a hurricane having a mild panic attack and worried I was going to fuck up somehow.

Okay, so the last one was more terrified than exhilarating but.. meh...

6. Do you agree with the concept of exotic pets?

Here in North America... if the thing was born in the wild.. it should stay in the wild...unless under the extreme circumstances of animal rescue when the animal can’t be returned to the wild..   If it was breed in captivity and is not on the endangered species list and wont eat you or rip your face off...say like a hedge hog which is oddly enough considered exotic where I am.. then its okay but only if the owner can provide a loving, healthy home.  (wolf hybrids,  tigers, ligers, and other exotic large cats are the exceptions as no one can care for them properly unless specialized training has taken place and you have like a billion acres of land for them...basically any animal that has not been domesticate over hundreds of years ... leave em alone... )

7. Describe your feelings about maths.

Necessary evil...enough said. 

8. When was the last time you finished a book?

Do audio books count? If so.. in March right before lock down.  Listened to a lot of books on my travels to and from work..   Currently I am able to actually pick up a hard copy and I am working my way through Crazy, Rich Asians.   Good book!

9. What’s a small way that you’ve been kind recently?

All the things I have done recently have just been what is expected of a normal human being with responsibilities so I cant really say.. erm.. made an extra meat loaf for my Dad so I know he is eating well... collected his beer bottles for return cause they just started excepting them again.. 

Started making my husband lunch as he was recalled to work... Do his laundry cause he usually does it for himself...

I haven’t really be out much in the world lately and as I said.. basic stuff. 

10. What new hobby/activity have you always wanted to try?

And got to the bottom and I think I fucked this up... oh well.. lmao.. so on to the questions I was supposed to answer...ooopppsss..  gonna leave the other answers above cause I spent the time to write em.. 

Oooh, and now I have to ask questions…

1. If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  

Falling Lakes aka  Plitvice Lakes National Park  in Croatia cause it looks beautiful and would be the closest thing on Earth to being in a fantasy novel..  

2. Favourite pasta shape?  

No favourite shape.. just spoon sized cause spaghetti is messy

3.What do you need to do everyday to keep your mind and body working well?

Wake up... lmao

4. First ever fandom and why? How old were you?

This is a surprisingly hard question to answer as I have loved many things over the years.. I have always loved cartoons going back as far back as I can remember and later in life comic books and anime  so will answer this by first fanfictions  and first community.... 

Well.. first fanfiction i got hooked on reading was for Sailor Moon..age..erm... high school so like maybe grade 9ish..  At that point I had always loved cartoons but Sailor Moon really sucked me in. 

First I wrote and will never see the light of day... Biker Mice From Mars and/or G.I.Joe...cant rightly remember which came first and I am a huge Snake Eyes fan.  

First posted... DBZ I believe under another name.. and ermm.. no, I wont tell. 

First community I joined... Dragon Ball Z on here in fact.. and within the last few years.   I am still a DBZ fan but I jumped the fandom community wagon and joined up with a bunch of Thundernerds and completely fell down the rabbit hole.

And I am being vague about the age for a reason.. lol   

5.Deserted beach or snazzy night club?

Beach! 100% Sand between the toes,  the sound of the water lapping up the shore.. the smell of the salt in the air.. the sun on my back and my sandals dangling from my finger tips.. ahhhh perfection. 

6. Do you find it easier to talk to people online or offline?

Online.. cause there is security in anonymity. 

7. What do you think is the aim in your life? What do you ultimately want to achieve?

Wow.. talk about a soul baring question.. lmao.. I don’t know.. to be remembered and looked back on kindly.   To be better then those before me and to not make the same mistakes.. to be a good mom to my daughter and to not fuck her up to bad. (I answered this one out of order.. meh)   

8. Coolest Thunderbird

....well this one should be an obvious answer. lol

9. What is your absolute favourite topic to talk about?

My interests.. which are vast and varied. 

10. Do you have an embarrassing story to share?

How I fucked up this questionnaire.. lol 

okay so now for questions to ask,..if I understand this right that is what i am supposed to do now... hmm

1. Favourite dessert.

2. What would you rather...fine dining or eating around a camp fire?

3.  Favourite past time outside of here?

4. If you were a video game character, who would you be? Why?

5. Flight or invisibility? 

6. In the case of a zombie apocalypse what would be your escape plan and what would you do to survive? 

7. If you could go on a road trip anywhere in the world.. where would you go and what car would you be driving? 

8. Who would be in the seat beside you? 

9.  What would you rather... watch a thunderstorm or close the blinds

10. What 10 questions would you come up with if you could ask anyone anything?  (Ya, I so cheated there mu ha ha a ha) 

Feel free to answer.. or not. Open to anybody just copy and paste the last 10 questions.. not the whole thing like I did... oops... cause that would be wrong.. Oh and if you made it all the way down here after this long ass ramble .. GOLD STAR FOR YOU!  :) 

[itslowbudgetbusiness-blog]

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[zenosanalytic]

Great Beasts of Legend: Centaurs, Sirens and Chimaera: The Greeks and th...

I know I’ve posted this lecture by Dr. Jeremy McInerney before, but I was watching it again(third time; really love this one uwu) and at 41:55 he starts a discussion of a boundaries-based reading of Centaurs(good target for that given the melding/muddying of boundary btw animal and man Centaurs represent[1]), beginning with the Herakles, Deianira, Nessos Myth that I feel he doesn’t quite hit though he makes/brings up other great points and it made me want to write a short little thing about why this myth, specifically, is really open to such a reading:

Ok so the basic outline: Herakles and Deianira are traveling, they come to the river Evinos where Nessos[2], the Centaur, is selling his services as a living ferry(ppl sit on him and he carries them across). Herakles, of course, decides to swim across and pays Nessos to carry Deianira across. While doing so, Nessos attempts to rape her, Deianira calls for help, and Herakles whips out his bow and arrows dipped in Hydra’s blood, and shoots Nessos dead. As he dies but before Herakles reaches them, Nessos tells Deianira to take a vial of his blood(sometimes blood mixed with his semen). The story splits interestingly here, so remember this point for later. Years down the road, Herakles is off in some part of Greece partying in celebration of yet another city he’s plundered, and he sends a train of new slaves taken from said city-plundering back home, along with a messenger with an off-hand request to Deianira that she send his favorite cloak along cuz he plans to keep partying for quite a long while. This is another point of ambiguity in the story and its retellings so remember it, too. She steeps his cloak in water mixed with the vial of Nessos’s blood, sends it along and, while the poison doesnt kill Herakles cuz he’s part god and Hydra’s poisonous blood isn’t powerful enough to do that, it DOES cause him such enormous, unending pain that he builds his own funeral pyre and burns himself alive, apotheosizing into a god in the process.

So, regarding Boundaries:

Nessos, obvsl, is a physical manifestation of the close and ever-present boundary between humans and beasts; btw self-control and indulgence; btw “civilized” behavior and “uncivilized”, as discussed above, and particularly of the threat of rape Greek men present to Greek women.

This story involves a River, a physical boundary

Rivers are ALSO what separate the world of the living from the world of the dead to the Greeks, and this is a story ABOUT TWO DEATHS, both tied directly TO a River(one taking place in it, during the act of crossing it; the other a long-term effect of that event[but also Herakles’s hubris, though most versions, being written for men, don’t emphasize that totally obvs aspect of it]).

Not only that, it’s LITERALLY the story of Herakles’s apotheosis: of how he comes to finally transcend the boundary between God and Mortal which he has straddled his whole life.

Herakles is celebrating the sack of a city, ie, his violation&destruction of the Boundaries defining said city, when he dies. Greek cities are often protected by female divinities(Athena usually), so it’s yet another symbol of rape.

So Split 1: In most versions, the reason Nessos gives for why she should take his blood is that it is a powerful love potion that will ensure Herakles remains faithful to her if his eye ever strays. BUT, also in most versions, this is a lie and he’s secretly trying to poison Herakles, though how would he know Herakles’ arrows are poisoned with Hydra-blood? I remember reading a version where he presents it to her AS POISON, explaining about the Hydra, but I cant find any mention of it online, so maybe my brain’s just making it up(or maybe this was the Hercules TV Show version X|).

Split 2: BUT BUT, while in most version Deianira sends the cloak out of desperation to keep him faithful(and of course there’s a particular slave girl in the train she’s warned about just so all of this can be EXTRA the fault of women, rather than Herakles for being a giant asshole like he always is), in other versions she sends it OUT OF VENGEANCE, TO FUCK HIM UP because Herakles is being a giant asshole, wrecking up Greece, partying as much as he likes, flaunting his rapes and his victims in her face(this is VERY RELEVANT given the nature of other versions of this story), and leaving her to run his household alone while ordering her around like she’s a slave rather than his Wife.

These are mutually exclusive: she cannot be both seeking to punish him, and trying, in anguished desperation, to keep him faithful to her[3].

Herakles in this story, as is ALWAYS THE CASE IN ALL HIS STORIES, is flaunting the boundaries of Proper Behavior, in this case those defining a happy and successful marriage(IE Hera’s Domain; which you’d THINK would be kind of relevant, given the deep narrative connection between Hera and Herakles and her quickness to anger regarding marriage violations, yet it somehow perennially goes unmentioned), and getting punished for it.

Now here’s an ADDED kicker. There’s a version of this story were Herakles initiates the conflict. one day he visits the house of Deianira’s father, Dexamenus, and while a guest, rapes her. Dexamenus can’t fight Herakles, of course, but he demands by the gods and tradition that Herakles marry Deianira to “repair” the injury(WE LIVE IN HELL!), and Herakles agrees. After he leaves to prepare for the wedding, a local Centaur, Eurytion(name meaning “Widely Honored”) visits Dexamenus and proposes to marry Deianira himeself(you know: without the whole BEING HER RAPIST thing), and Dexamenus complies. Herakles arrives a few days later, kills Eurytion, and sees that their marriage is carried out. Presumably in this version, the blood poisoning the cloak would be Eurytion’s.

What I’ve tried to get across here is that, among other things, there are readings of this myth were Herakles is the bad guy and Deianira the agent of divine punishment, if not the actual Protagonist. And those readings suggest certain ideas we would be prone to consider “modern” about the agency of women, consent, personal and social boundaries, morality, Greek ~Heroic Masculinity~, and yes even Centaurs, might not have been so alien and “anachronistic” to the ancient Greek mind as we tend to think.

But anyway, even if you think that particular part of my little argument here is total Bunk, I hope I’ve managed to get across that Deianira and the Cloak is a myth Absolutely LOUSY with the theme of Boundaries, what they mean, what it means to Cross them, and the Consequences for which you Cross, when, how, and plain just choosing to cross them in the first place. It’s a really great example for him to suggest for this particular topic, and it really inspired me quite a lot today, and I just wish there was a lecture online where he developed it further uwu

[1]And not only that, but of course owning horses was a common sign of aristocratic status, and trading horses a common aristocratic activity(this is one way you know Hesiod’s claims of poverty are a put-on; his family breeds and sells horses). I feel like it’s pretty well understood that Centaurs are in someway a commentary and meditation upon the nature of Greek masculinity, on the capacity for violent cruelty and wanton appetite Greeks inculcated men into beside all the talk of civilized society, but I also feel it’s less well understood how open they also are to a similar reading regarding the appetites and barbaric capacities specifically of the upper classes of Greek society.

[2]In some versions Nessos and Herakles actually have a history, and the whole incident is Nessos’s attempt at vengeance. There is another story, where Herakles visits a centaur who is his friend named Pholos, and a gang of nearby Centaurs(I like to think they were Rowdy Teens myself u_u) smell the wine they’re drinking and crash the party to share some. Herakles, being Herakles, of course immediately begins killing them for the perceived insult, which inevitably leads NOT ONLY to Pholos dying(cuz Herakles isn’t careful and shoots him too, or in other vers bcuz he refuses to so much as retrieve his arrows from the bodies due to concerns with “pollution” from the corpses, and Pholos cuts himself on one of the arrows), but ALSO the poisoning, and eventual death, of Chiron, who was one of Pholos’s neighbors and who Herakles accidentally knicked while wildly chasing down and shooting the interlopers. Nessos is one of these Centaur teens, and the only centaur in the whole situation to survive (:T

[3]Which, btw, the whole “faithful” thing doesnt make much sense(even though it pops up regularly in Greek Myth), because her “competitor” in these versions is a slave. These next sentences are going to be gross and awful, but in the society which told these stories male slave-owners already had unrestricted sexual access to their slaves and, beyond that, I’ve never read a single example in Greek or Roman sources of a slave being legitimized and married as a wife(which doesnt mean such examples dont exist; I’m an amateur). So the idea that a slave could threaten Deianira’s position as Herakles’s wife seems very dubious to me(as does the general trope of slave women as threats to wives in Greek stories). Again: this is all super-awful, but it’s something complicating the traditional presentation of the myth, which is rarely addressed because most academics writing for a general audience are super-loath to deal with classical slavery as the awful, body and soul crushing institution which it was.

[ryukoishida]

QZGS|The King’s Avatar Fic: In which something nice happens to our birthday boy.

Title: Ágúst Fandom: The King’s Avatar / Quan Zhi Gao Shou Character(s)/Pairing(s): YuHuang Summary: Since his birthday happens during the summer break, Huang Shaotian is used to spending this day by himself, receiving messages and mailed gifts from his teammates and other pro-player friends in the Alliance. And without fail, his captain will always be the first to wish him a happy birthday, but this year seems a little different. [Takes place during the summer between S9 and S10] Part: 1/1 Rating: PG-13 A/N: Gasp. Me, writing something in canon-verse? Amazing. Literally just… mindless, cheesy fluff. Happy birthday to our beloved chatty Sword Saint! And happy birthday to @andthenabanana~

Writing Commission | Editing & Translation Services

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[Flowing Cloud]: Happy birthday, Huang Shao! Did you receive the package I sent you???

[Troubling Rain]: Thx, Xiao Lu! And yeah i did… Speaking of which, how do u figure im gonna finish all those snacks by myself, kid?!

A few days ago, the famed Sword Saint of Team Blue Rain had received an express delivery parcel from an unknown address in Taiwan: a giant box of local snack varieties from the team’s young swordsman. Placed atop of the rainbow packages of Kaui Che pork and beef jerky, fruit jellies, honey layer cakes, sugar and spice nougats, pineapple cakes, and for some strange reason, Alishan tea leaves, was a birthday card — and not just any plain, ol’ greeting card either. The brat had chosen the kind that played obnoxiously loud tinkling rendition of “Happy Birthday to You” when the receiver flipped open the card.

Huang Shaotian quickly snapped the card shut and winced at the horrid echo of the melody that had sounded especially strident in his quiet apartment, and one corner of his lips couldn’t help but lift upward into a heartfelt smile.

[Troubling Rain]: i cant stop eating those pineapple cakes and this is all ur fault, so u better buy more and bring them to the dorm after summer break! And whats up with the tea leaves? Im not captain, u know I dont drink that bitter stuff :(

[Flowing Cloud]: The tea is my mom’s contribution, I swear! Maybe you can give them to captain if you really don’t want it?

[Troubling Rain]: well…. in that case, thank ur mom for me, ok?

[Flowing Cloud]: Will do! ;) Anyway, I have to go now.

[Troubling Rain]: aight. And thx again for the present and card!

Popping one of the mango-flavoured fruit jellies into his mouth, Huang Shaotian exited the private message window he was using while texting Lu Hanwen, and scrolled back up the chat log in the Blue Rain group chat, where members had been posting about their summer adventures in the forms of (sometimes rather “artistically” blurry) photographs featuring either gorgeous sceneries of foreign countries or delicious food they’d found. In between the envious ooh-ing and fascinated aah-ing at the colourful photos were members discussing the transfers during the summer window, various Glory-related rumors and news, and other things that only reclusive young men who spent most of their days playing games on their computers were interested in.

Though most of them hailed from different parts of Guangdong, so they’d return home to visit their families and take the time to rest until the new season began in September, a few of them still found the energy and time to take a nice vacation with their friends or family and travel abroad after an intense month-and-a-half of spending hours fighting level 75 Wild Bosses and gathering rare materials in the online game.

Lu Hanwen, for example, was currently enjoying a brief but lovely trip in Taiwan with his parents. Having debuted at such a young and tender age, Lu Hanwen had missed out on a lot of experiences that teenagers his age usually encountered; he had also undergone a lot of pressure and scrutiny that kids his age usually didn’t have to suffer through — this past season had taught him that the hard way.  

On the trip back to Guangzhou, with his eyes still bloodshot from the frustrated tears that he’d wiped dry just a few minutes ago, Lu Hanwen promised both his captain and vice-captain that he would train hard over the summer so that he would not make such mistakes during team matches again.

Before Huang Shaotian could open his mouth, Xu Jingxi was already ruffling the teenager’s hair from the seat behind, which earned him an indignant ‘hey!’ from Lu Hanwen but laughter from the rest of the team.

“It’s okay,” Yu Wenzhou had said, his smile gentle, his gaze calm but warm. “You already did really well, Hanwen, so take your time over the summer to recover and return for another year of hard work come September.”

Since they knew the kind of boy Lu Hanwen was, Yu Wenzhou had made sure to give Lu Hanwen’s parents a call as well.  

And it seemed like the kid was enjoying himself with his family.

Huang Shaotian paused when he saw the photos that Yu Wenzhou had posted late last night. Most of the photos he’d taken were breathtaking nature sceneries: mountain ridges still coated with a layer of snow at the peaks, flat surface of a lake reflecting sapphire and jade specks surrounded by lush forests; only one or two photos featured Yu Wenzhou himself, and even then, those pictures were taken with an unsteady hand, but Huang Shaotian could still appreciate his wind-swept hair and smiling lips — a little more open and carefree than the one he always wore in front of the journalists, a little more careless — amidst the shards of shadows that fell around him from the foliage above.

He mentioned that he was travelling to the west coast of Canada to visit some relatives that had immigrated to Vancouver quite some years ago, and his cousins had taken him to all sorts of local places to hike and camp. It was a fact known by many other pro-players and the fanbase of Blue Rain that Yu Wenzhou, despite his delicate and refined appearance that he displayed before the public, was surprisingly an outdoorsy type; one wouldn’t assume so from the fact that he was the captain of an eSports team who presumably spent a lot of his time indoors, but that’d never stopped him from visiting the closest national park for a half-day hike or going on a two-week long camping trip in the mountainous region of Yunnan.  

With an impatient sigh, Huang Shaotian scrolled back to the most recent messages in the group chat, but what he was seeking was simply not there. He couldn’t help but feel the immense heaviness in his heart grew a little degree more; he bit his lower lip and considered sending the other man a message but almost immediately decided against that.

He slammed his phone into the pillow beside him and dived face-down into the mattress with a muffled groan that sounded like a slowly-dying animal. He couldn’t do this anymore. He couldn’t stand this anymore.

Fuck.

Yes, he liked Yu Wenzhou.

No, not as friends or teammates or bros or anything like that. What were we — still elementary school kids?

No. Huang Shaotian more than liked Yu Wenzhou; he was in love with the guy, all right? He wanted to hold his hand, and embrace him, and kiss him, and… and yes, sleep with him. He wanted to do all those wonderful, wonderful things with Yu Wenzhou but there was only one problem: Yu Wenzhou didn’t know anything about this and Huang Shaotian didn’t know how to tell him without scaring his captain away.

Every year, without fail, Yu Wenzhou would be the first person to send him birthday wishes. In most of those instances, he’d be out of town, so birthday wishes would come in various forms: a mailed card, a text, a voice recording, or even a thoughtful little souvenir from wherever he’d been travelling to. But August 10th was almost over, and other than the small set of photos he’d uploaded onto the team group chat yesterday, Yu Wenzhou’s username and icon remained disappointingly grey in his friend list.

It was 11:46pm when the doorbell to his apartment unit rang with an urgent flair, effectively pulling Huang Shaotian out of his dreary reverie.

He wasn’t expecting any guests at this hour, though it wouldn’t be the first time that a few of his teammates, along with a few close friends from the Alliance, who apparently had nothing better to do than to drop by Guangzhou and pester him (i.e. giving him a surprise birthday party, which, despite his mumbling and grumbling, he actually appreciated), showed up at his door without as much as a text ahead of time.

What he hadn’t expect to find was one Yu Wenzhou, a timeworn suitcase sitting by his feet and a hefty duffle bag on his shoulder. It looked like he’d been rushing to get here, for his breathing was still unsteady and his sweat-stained, ink-black hair was plastered messily over his forehead and stuck to the nape of his neck.

“C-Captain? W-What are you—”

“Did I make it in time?” Yu Wenzhou asked, his brows suddenly dipping in concern, and when he didn’t get an answer from his vice-captain, he added, “my phone battery was dead on the flight back.”

“What? In time for what?” Huang Shaotian was still bewildered; he still couldn’t believe that Yu Wenzhou — who was supposed to be in the wilderness somewhere in the west coast of North America roasting marshmallows over a bonfire or hunting bears or whatever it was that they did when people went camping — that Yu Wenzhou was currently standing in his doorway.

He blinked once, twice, speechless.

“Shaotian…” Yu Wenzhou reached over and touched him gingerly on the shoulder. “Your birthday. Did I come back in time for your birthday?”

Oh.

“It’s not midnight yet,” Huang Shaotian replied numbly, at least the last time he checked, which wasn’t that long ago, actually.

“Great!” Yu Wenzhou heaved a relieved sigh, and then with a softer smile and a warm gaze that was similar to the usual one he gave his teammates —but it was slightly off, yet Huang Shaotian was still too stunned by his captain’s sudden appearance that he couldn’t quite comprehend the expression that seemed so obvious when he thought back upon it later on — he said, “in that case, happy birthday, Shaotian.”

“T-Thank you,” Huang Shaotian lowered his head to hide the flush that’d suddenly bloomed across his cheeks, realizing that for once, he couldn’t look directly into Yu Wenzhou’s eyes. He was afraid of discovering what lay within those ink-blue depths; he was scared that he’d see something wonderful there only to find out that it was all in his imagination, his misinterpretation, a misunderstanding. Then, his logic — being lost somewhere between his fretful phone-scrolling and Yu Wenzhou’s unannounced arrival — finally caught up. “Wait, wait a fucking minute, hold on for just a second. W-what the hell are you even doing here, Captain? Aren’t you supposed to be in, like, the mountains strumming a guitar and singing songs around a campfire or something?”

Yu Wenzhou raised a brow, one corner of his lips tucked upwards into an amused grin, “I’m absolutely tone-deaf, Shaotian, or don’t you remember?”

Good lord, of course he remembered, Huang Shaotian winced visibly at the reminder. The one time their whole team decided to celebrate someone’s birthday at a karaoke was the last time they did so, because everyone belatedly discovered that, as soon as their captain, who was known to have a gentle, mesmerizing speaking voice, started opening his mouth to sing the first verse of Eason Chan’s famous ballad “Ten Years”, they all wished they’d brought some earplugs with them, even if it meant disrespecting (or insulting) their nice, kind captain.

“Okay, okay, fine, that wasn’t actually even the point. The point is—"

“Shaotian…” Yu Wenzhou interrupted softly with a helpless smile that was enough to stop the other man in the middle of his rant.

“Uh, yes?” Huang Shaotian halted, eyes widening a little.

“Aren’t you going to let me in?”

“Oh. Oh! Yeah, yeah come on in!” His blush deepened, but he turned around quickly to shuffle over and make space for Yu Wenzhou to step into his apartment. After setting his bags and shoes down at the entranceway, Yu Wenzhou made his way to the couch in the living-room, his manner casual as if he’d been here many times, felt comfortable enough to make himself at home on his vice-captain’s couch.

“You want something to drink?” Huang Shaotian was already walking towards the tiny kitchen he barely used, and without waiting for Yu Wenzhou to reply, he muttered, “I’ll get you something to drink. Uh, let’s see, what do I have in here?”

Some rummaging and a yelped curse later — presumably in his haste, he’d accidentally hit his head on something — Huang Shaotian came out with two bottles of beverage.

When Yu Wenzhou glanced over, he couldn’t help but let a corner of his lips curved up into an amused smile. For whatever reason, Huang Shaotian was currently acting like as if he was the uninvited guest, maneuvering carefully around his own home like the floor was covered in glass and he was trying not to startle the man sitting in his living-room. He placed the two bottles of peach-flavored black tea onto the coffee table and sat down gingerly beside Yu Wenzhou, taking special precaution to leave a good amount of space between them.

“You don’t seem too happy to see me, Shaotian,” Yu Wenzhou observed, picking up the bottle easily and twisting the cap off to take a sip of the artificially sweetened iced tea.

“That’s crazy talk, captain! Of course I’m happy to see you — I’m absolutely thrilled to see you!” Huang Shaotian stuttered, and decided that now was a good time to drink his tea as well, but his hands were shaking so much that it took him a few seconds before he could grip the cap properly. He gulped down the liquid as if his life depended on it, and when half of the tea had been consumed, his nerves seemed to have returned as well. He sighed, looking away, and murmured, “I was just — I didn’t expect to see you here, of all places, this late at night, is all. You could’ve said something, you know? I could’ve come to the airport to pick you up.”

“Then it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, now would it?”

A soft hint of laugher was laced within Yu Wenzhou’s low voice, like the softest breeze ruffling through the summer flower fields — sweet and sensual.

“N-No, I guess not.”

It was the voice that caressed his heart late at night, when his dreams were consumed by the images of the man he’d grown up with — from awkward teenagers who competed with each other for a spot in the team to partners standing side-by-side, protecting each other’s backs, creating opportunities for each other to attack and invade and win — and those images had been strange yet mesmerizing. The slow fumbling fingers on the keyboard that everyone in the Alliance teased about were elegant and left spots of sparks on his bare skin, his smiling lips against the curve of his ear, his neck, his teeth sinking into his supple skin and leaving marks on his hips and the insides of his thighs, his heated breaths mixing with Huang Shaotian’s gasps, ragged and fragmented syllables of their names falling from their parted lips…

Huang Shaotian didn’t remember when he’d first started having these indecent dreams about his captain, but as much as he hated himself for having them in the first place, he couldn’t let the sensations disappear once he woke up; he couldn’t let him go.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t the first person to wish you happy birthday,” Yu Wenzhou began once more after he put the bottle of tea down, his voice slightly strained with regret as he returned his gaze towards Huang Shaotian.  

“Why should you be sorry—” Huang Shaotian snapped his head up and stared directly at the other man, his topaz eyes widened with puzzlement.

“Because I want to spend every birthday with you, Shaotian, and I want to always be the first person to wish you a happy birthday,” Yu Wenzhou smiled up at him, as if the statement that just came out of his mouth was a casual, harmless comment about the weather, like it was the most apparent, most genuine sentiment in the world. He tilted his head slightly to the side so that his dark forelocks fell into his eyes, his cheeks tinting just the faintest shade of pink, his smile soft, his voice softer, “is that not obvious?”

“I—I…”

At the back of his mind, Huang Shaotian thought he knew he understood the meaning of each word, but when stringed together like this, when Yu Wenzhou — the man he respected so much as the team’s captain, the friend he treasured so much over the years of ups and downs in their career, the boy he gradually learned to admire though he’d refused to admit this when he was younger, more stubborn — when he spoke to him like this, it was difficult for Huang Shaotian to understand anything.

His mind was buzzing, rearranging the words to make sense out of them, and when it finally clicked, blood roared in his ears, tainting his cheeks red. Everything else in his brain was lost and drowned out by only one, single thought: Yu Wenzhou likes me, he likes me, he likes me, he likes me…

“Y-You’re not playing fair, Yu Wenzhou!”

“They do say those who use tactics have dirty hearts,” Yu Wenzhou’s smile grew a little bolder, a little more mischievous. He shuffled closer, and Huang Shaotian could do nothing but be captivated by the almost animalistic, hungry look in Yu Wenzhou’s eyes — an emotion he’d never seen before, an emotion he dared not fantasize about because it was too dangerous, too damn dangerous — and it wasn’t until his back hit the stiff armrest of his couch that he realized that Yu Wenzhou had successfully trapped him in between his arms.

He leaned forward until their foreheads were touching lightly, their breaths mingling — shallow, hot, irresistible.

There was nowhere for him to escape, but he didn’t want to, Huang Shaotian thought, he’d been running for years now, and he wanted to stop, to rest, to find his way home.

Yu Wenzhou’s eyes held only him, and him alone, and Huang Shaotian felt his heart beating beneath his ribs, beating so hard he was afraid Yu Wenzhou might hear it, might tease him for it, but then Yu Wenzhou was holding his hand and guiding it so that his palm was lying flat against the left side of his chest, and Yu Wenzhou’s heart was palpitating hard, too, like he’d been running for miles, for years.

And Huang Shaotian thought with a smile, gods we’d both been such idiots.

“So, Shaotian, what do you say? Will you let me?” Yu Wenzhou asked in a whisper, words branded on skin.

“Let you… what?” Huang Shaotian sounded weary. This may be a confession — one that he’d only dreamed too many times about in the past, it was true — but he hadn’t forgotten the fact that he was still dealing with one of the great tacticians of Glory.

“Let me accompany you on your birthdays in the years to come,” Yu Wenzhou answered easily, brushing the tip of his thumb gently across Huang Shaotian’s cheek, feeling the heat pooled there, his mesmerized gaze, the way his irises darkened at his touch.

“Only if your kissing skills are better than your terrible hand-speed,” Huang Shaotian challenged him with a shaky grin.

“You’re on,” Yu Wenzhou chuckled, and closed the distance between them with a kiss, too ready and keen to show Huang Shaotian what he was capable of.

This, Huang Shaotian decided faintly before he was entirely distracted by Yu Wenzhou’s consuming kisses, was the best birthday he could ever ask for.

[thenobullshtblog-blog]

Ink Etiquette

Since I am getting a new tattoo in September it’s made me think about all the questions, comments and unwanted concerns that I usually get when I advertise I am getting a new piece.With that, I've been inspired to do a rant style blog on stupid shit people say regarding my tattoos. At the end I’ll answer some typical general questions for those who want to get inked but are doing a little more research first.

First things First-tattoo etiquette, you gonna learn today.

Stop telling people they will regret their tattoos

What do you care? It’s not your body, you don’t have to look at it every day! Who gives AF. I cant tell you how many times people have told me I will regret the size of my tattoos, the placement, and that if all my pieces don’t have a huge significant meaning that im gonna wish I never got them. IT’S NOT TRUE. I am not you, so don’t project your shit onto me-10/10 we have different views about life, Negative Nancy. My two largest tattoo pieces have no special meaning. It’s Art. I love art of all kinds, and wanted it on my body because its beautiful and badass. I’ve had one of those tattoos for over 4 years now, have never regretted it a day in my life and its honestly my most highly complimented piece. So suck it.

Stop asking people if they’ve thought about how they will look when theyre 40 or 80

Well spoiler alert, I take phenomenal care of my skin and body in general and I have full intentions of being a super hot milf until I reach the puma and then cougar stage so I’m really not worried about anything up until my mid 70’s. I do understand the general laws of aging and gravity but can you honestly tell me that 80 year old saggy wrinkly tattooed skin looks WORSE than non tattooed saggy wrinkly 80 year old skin? Yeah I didn’t think so.

If you don’t like someones tattoo-you actually don’t have to Say Anything.

So many people have this burning desire to voice an opinion that was never actually asked for. If you don’t have anything nice to say-don’t say anything at all. Unless they ask you for your brutal honest opinion, I would try and avoid commenting. Now if someone has a shitty tattoo I’m not saying lie to them, but just keep their feelings in mind as this will be on their body Forever unless they get it removed or covered up. I've had people ask me if I like their tattoos-and if I don’t like them either because i’ts not my personal style, or it’s a poorly done tattoo this is what I say “oh wow, who did you go to?” and then I start asking about the artist. That’s a safe bet. You don’t need to comment, especially if your comment is not nice. Again-these are permanent, it’s not a shirt that they can return at the store.

Realize that your preference of tattoo style and size may be different than someone else

Go big or go home, has always been my thought when getting a new piece. I’ve always loved large tattoos, dainty isn’t really my style. I am a little extra and I like that part of my personality to show with the art I wear on my body. I’m so tired of the bulging eyes people give me when I tell them how big my piece will be, or when I show them the ones I have (after they ask). You don’t have to get a massive tattoo and I understand large pieces aren’t for everyone-OK but get your active bitch face under control especially if you’re going to ask someone a question about size. I’m not shitting on the infinity sign you have on your ankle-lets move forward.

Stop saying “my tattoos are for me”

This is also something people say to me once I tell them how large my piece will be, they normally respond with “oh, I’d never get a tattoo that big-my tattoos are just for me”. Cool? Mine are too? I didn’t pay all that money, give my literal blood sweat and tears to the ink table if all my pieces weren’t for me. I honestly prefer to have pieces that I can see in pictures, that are easily displayed where I will be able to admire them every day without being totally naked. I don’t need a hidden tattoo on my ass cheek for it to be “for me”. Unless you literally have a tattoo that you got because someone else begged you to get it for them because their skin physically cant be tattooed for some odd reason, and you want to specify that the new tattoo is for you-OKAY THEN STFU.

Stop asking people how much their pieces cost-it’s tacky.

We ALL KNOW that nice ink isn’t cheap. Generally speaking people don’t go around bragging about how much they dropped on a sleeve. Ink is an expression of Self, not Wealth. If you really like the artist who did that persons piece, ask them for the artists Instagram or website so you can get their contact info and email the artist directly to inquire about pricing. On the flip side-if someone’s tattoo looks like dogshit, don’t ask them how much they paid for it. They probably know it looks like dogshit and it’s a sensitive subject- you asking about the price is just salting the wound.

Before you ask somebody Why they are getting what they are getting, consider WHY you are asking them that.

There are usually only a few reasons why people ask about what someone is getting, whether they know it or not. A lot of people don’t even Realize why they are asking what they are asking until they think about it.

1. they love art, and are truly interested

2. they don’t support tattoos and want to give you the whole “don’t put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari spiel”

3. they want to add their two cents to what it is you are getting, try and impose their ideas or change your mind to redirect your vision. Regardless they will subconsciously judge you by the content of your piece and form ideas about you based on what you’re putting on your body and where.

If you are asking “why” for any reason other than the first one. Kindly fu*k off.

Nobody puts bumper stickers on Ferraris, but how many ‘rraris have you see with custom pant jobs, bruh?  And as for you Linda, nobody cares that you don’t like my futuristic post-apocalyptic leg sleeve idea-you’re not changing my mind. Fu*k your two cents if it’s not going toward the bill. And we both know it’s not, so again-kindly fu*k off.

 Alright- so that just about concludes my ranting about stupid shit people say or ask. Lets get to some actual Q&A’s/tips and comments.

What does it Actually Cost?

It depends on the artist! Some artists charge by the size of the piece, and some charge by the hour. Whenever I email a new artist I always ask them if they charge by the piece, or hourly-they’ll let you know. From what I’ve experienced I’ve typically had artists who charge between $150-$250 per hour, but my philosophy when getting a piece is “spare no expense”. This is going to be on your body FOREVER. No, I’m not ballin like LeBron, I’m ballin on a budget, so yes I do have to save up to get my pieces-but it’s always worth it. You get what you pay for.

What does it feel like?

The best way I can describe it, is a hot cat scratch over and over again. In some more sensitive areas it can feel like what I imagine branding would feel like. Everyone has a different pain tolerance and skin sensitivity, so some areas may be more sensitive on some, than others. A lot of people say the ribs are by far the most painful-to be honest when I got my sternum piece although the bony part of the sternum was murder, the ribs weren’t bad at all-in some spots it rattled my rib cage so much it kind of ticked. Likewise, some people get inner bicep/tricep tattoos like it’s nothing, the back of my tricep killed me. I was almost in tears. It totally just depends on your skin.

Go the Extra Mile

If you cant find a local artist that you Love, drive. Even if it’s 2-3 hours out of the way. Again, this is going to be on your body forever. I would rather drive an extra 2 hours or so for the artist I know is going to crush my piece, than a local artist who would probably do an okay job. That’s not to say you cant find a good local artist-but if you cant, expand your search radius.

Walk in, or wait?

It depends on what you want, but if you’re asking for my suggestion I would do as much research as you can on the tattoo shop. Look at customer reviews, the artists online portfolios. You'll have better luck than hoping you randomly pick a good place for a walk in. Although I do have a walk in lettering tattoo and it looks just fine haha For a planned piece understand that the artist you want may be booked for the next couple weeks, months or up to a year. Don’t get discouraged, you'll have time to really think about the piece you want, change any details, and usually if they're booked that far out-they're pretty good and well worth the wait.

Color or Black and Gray?

This is a personal preference. Growing up I Hated how pale I was, being a ginger was a struggle all around but the porcelain skin was definitely a target. I hated wearing shorts, and never did all through high school because of how beaming white my legs are. To be honest I didn’t start wearing shorts until I got my First tattoo. Artists and tattoo admirers alike have complimented my skin time and time again, and how the colors in my tattoos really pop because of how pale I am. So, I prefer color tattoos because they show up super vibrant and it makes me feel even more comfortable in this vampire skin. I don’t necessarily think color is better over black and gray and in some cases I think that it also totally depends on the type of piece you are going for. Consider your skin tone, the type/style of piece you are getting and then decide.

Think it over, and speak up.

I feel like a lot of the “regret” that people are talking about with tattoos comes from spontaneous ideas or trends. There have been so many times I have seen a bad ass concept for a tattoo and I thought about finding and artist and setting an appointment ASAP. The next day I will revisit the idea and go eh, I guess I don’t love it that much. I have a Pinterest board that is just for my tattoo ideas, I pin shit on there so later I can look at it and think if that’s something I really want or not. I definitely recommend either pinning similar images of a concept you want, drawing it out, or writing it down in a notepad and then sleep on it. You'll be surprised how quickly you may change your mind in the course of even a few days, a week, months or a year. If you’ve had the same tattoo concept for quite a while, and every time you revisit the idea you still love it just as much-it’s probably safe to start on that piece when you're ready.

When you finally decide to get your piece, the artist will usually have it drawn out in some form, either on paper-or on an iPad of sorts that shows you all the details and potential coloring (if you're getting color). Do Not be afraid to speak up if you don’t like something or want to change something. It is their job as the artist to accommodate your wants especially since they are putting something permanent on your body. Even when you get the stencil on, if you don’t like the placement, or want to change something-let them know. They can remove the stencil pretty easily and print out a new one after they fix whatever it is you want fixed. But don’t just deal with something if you're certain you don’t like it. You're gonna have to look at it every day.

Artistic Freedom

This is just another opinion-and by no means a fact. But I’ve found by giving the artist freedom on my piece has always made them turn out even better than I imagined. There are quite a few people out there who go in with a very specific piece or picture in mind and are disappointed when their piece doesn’t look EXACTLY like the picture. Well, that’s pretty hard to replicate as it is but especially when that artist isn’t the original artist of that picture or drawing that you bring to the table. This does not go for portraits-obviously you want your Marilyn Monroe to look like Marilyn Monroe and a portrait artist definitely should be able to replicate that haha I am talking about more “creative” pieces you want. My suggestion, have a few pictures of things you like (and some things you don’t like) regarding the concept of your tattoo and tell your artist to have fun with it. If your artist enjoys drawing up your piece and has freedom to add their flair on it, it will probably turn out better than you micro managing the shit out of them. I’ve always given artists freedom and I’ve always been crazy surprised at how the piece they gave me turned out way better than anything I had in mind.

This is all that I can think of? I probably lost 99% of you by the first 500 words, but to those of you who made it to 2,376..cheers.

[transkurootetsurou]

I saw your tags on the post about allergens in medications. Do you know how I could find out if there's allergens or cross contamination in my meds? My pharmacist said they can't find out

i dont really know how normal pharmacies work because i work at a compounding lab in an independent pharmacy, & we tend to work very closely with patients. so ur pharmacist saying that they cant find out about allergens in ur meds is a little frustrating to me. it might simply be because they dont have the time; manufacturers tend to be difficult to get a hold of, & from my experience, ur pharmacist is probably trying to juggle five things at once. still, if ur telling them that u have an allergy & u want to be sure that ur meds dont contain that allergen, they should at least be able to do that. i know a lot of ppl dont want to bother, but if ur insistent & u annoy ur pharmacist enough, theyll do it to get u off the phone/out of their face.

anyway, if u want or end up having to figure it out urself, u should be able to look up inactive ingredients online (i actually found this out a few months ago, when my pharmacy switched up the manufacturer on one of my prescriptions, & i discovered that it doesnt work as well 😔 inactive ingredients can be different for each manufacturer, & a phrase we repeat often to our compounding patients is “every patient is different!” ur body might just absorb things differently & its okay to make sure ur pharmacist accommodates u). on the label for ur medication, there should be a line that says “mfg” or “mfr.” something like that. ill use an old cvs pill bottle i happen to have as an example.

this is for my promethazine tablets. it doesnt have the full manufacturer name, but thats okay. even if u only type in a partial name, google will figure out the rest.

(u can already see where ive ended up lol but let me tell u, this one took a little more digging. promethazine dm is a cough syrup, which is obv not what im looking for, but its a more common search than the tablets.)

the nih website is actually a good place to end up, but lets start at the first link, which goes to the manufacturers website. unfortunately, on mobile, whatever page that link goes to doesnt show up. however, in a drop down menu at the top, theres a section listed “products” & in that category is “product catalog.” that leads me to the list of meds they make. click on the drug ur looking for to get the details

it has a small list of common allergens. if u have a lactose allergy, dont take this drug!

lets go back to the nih link. i checked a few other manufacturers for my meds, & most of them actually linked back to the database on nih for info!

if the link google provides is not the correct medication, u can use dailymed’s search function. i had to use it for this example.

click on the one ur looking for (im making sure its a tablet by amnesl, in my case), then scroll to “ingredients and appearance”

voila! inactive ingredients! if ur concerned, u can google what each ingredient technically is, but the cellulose is just wood pulp. its a common filler in meds (we use it for some of our capsules in the compounding lab, as well as avicel which is also wood pulp. i will say, we have wondered if ppl allergic to pollen or grass would be affected by the filler, but the consensus is no. my manager has been compounding for 17 years & hasnt heard of any reactions). the lactose is also a filler, & the other ingredient is just a binding agent im pretty sure.

im sure u can also look these up by ndc, which would probably be easier because itll lead u to the exact drug from the manufacturer. those are usually on the info slips that tell u all about side effects, but i always just shred those LOL

the database has specialty meds as well, but if ur getting anything compounded, its not going to be on there. just ask the compounders! part of the reason why they compound is to accommodate for allergies, so theyll go through the ingredients for u (including tablets if they use them!)

edit: i realized that u also asked about cross contamination! sorry to say, i dont know how to go about getting that info besides contacting the manufacturer 😣