#i cant explain it but the milk they use is just so good and it really makes the pastillas super soft and delicious

[kaisworlds]

hey don’t know if you still take requests or not but if so can i request a ftm zoro x male reader

scenario: everyone is still at water 7 after saving robin(when zoro becomes “big brother”) and zoro and reader are doing chores and the reader thinks zoro would be a good parent/male-mom and after there done the reader cooks for him since sanji is still out and things get heated and ends up in smut

kinks: choking, spanking(in backshots) feminization, and breeding

p.s you can take your time i’m in no rush and i understand if you don’t wanna do it

-🦉anon

w 🦉anon idea

i've staring at this since i got it bro and my mind has been blank help plus excuse if some details are fucked i havent watched that arc in a hot minute btw ooc zoro maybe

im so sorry aabt the fact it came out this late owl pookie

cw: sub bottom ftm character x top dom male reader, feminization, spanking, choking

it all started when zoro somehow got roped into baby sitting 3 babies and you bumped into him as he was trying to hide from sanji

after a day of hard work finally putting the kids to bed walking back to the ship you look at the sky before speaking "you know you'd make a good parent zoro..." his brain shuts down stammering out a quiet thank you mind immediately going towards how you would treat him if he was the parent to your kids, would you let him go work or would you tell him to stay home to take care of the baby, how would you act with the kids would you feed them or would you help him feed them, your hands slowly traveling to his front cupping his chest, thumb rolling over his nipple as he leans his back against your chest as you slowly squeeze watching the milk trickle down into the cup you were holding, or would you turn him over and suck on his aching nipp-

walking around admiring the clean water floating between the buildings snapping back into reality once you see a tan guy hiding against the wall with familiar green hair "zoro..." eyes trailing down his body to the tight yellow crop top wrapped around his chest finally noticing the babies in a blanket tied to his front "who....who's children are those?" zoro's face flashed as he panicked a bit in his mind not wanting anyone to see him in this outfit especially his crush "hey you cant say anything about this too shitty brows okay" silently agreeing you decide to help him, cooing the babies as they wake up crying slightly crouched over to get onto eye level with them (indirectly staring at his chest). zoro blushed looking away eyes widening as he makes eye contact with robin in the distance watching her snicker as she walks away before he can explain.

"zoro are you okay? you've been really quiet" your voice snapping him out of his day dream as he nods walking a bit faster finally reaching the ship immediately going to his room shutting the door.

after a work out session zoro peeks into the kitchen watching as you cut up vegetables adding it into the stew you're brewing, without looking up you speak "you want some?" flustered that you caught him staring "y-yeah.....shitty cook not back yet or something?" he silently cursed him self for stuttering "mhmm no ones here yet...just us" still not looking at him you grab bowls dishing him some food before setting it on the table sitting down across from him while he eats "this is good..." "thank you"

with each sentence more and more embarrassment sunk into him he didnt even notice how you had stood up and sat next to him in the middle of your speech, head snapping towards you as you run your hand through his hair "not that i mind when youre so pretty..."

the silence consumes the room as he just feels your stare on his face while he refuses to meet your gaze. you dont speak until he finished his food "do you think im stupid?" his eyes widen, did he do something to offend you? he quickly answers shaking his head no. "well you must be stupid then if you really think i wouldnt notice" having a good feeling of what you were talking about but he decides to stick to his story "notice what..." smirking you lean forward arms resting on the table "i noticed a lot actually.... like how you practically turn into a fucking school girl with a crush on a teacher whenever we're alone, or how earlier today whenever i was with the kids i saw how you'd look at me, eyes all dazed, or how when i commented on how you'd be a great parent your entire body flushed, you walked in silence with me for almost 30 minutes, face getting redder with each passing minute, i could see you rubbing your thighs together when we stopped to pick up ingredients, and if that wasnt enough, the way you ran to your room as soon as you stepped foot in here."

his back arches up off the bed his nipples hardening under the white tank top eyes clenched tightly as his moans come out rough with a dazed look in his face.

zoro lets out an almost unnoticeable whine leaning into your touch "please..." tugging softly making his head tilt back "please what?" he huffs realizing you're gonna make him say it he takes things into his own hands, cupping your face pulling you into a kiss, grunting as you tighten the grip on his hair pulling him a few centimeters back, lips hovering over his "didnt know you were so desperate princess" zoro grumbles under his breath " 's cause youre teasing me too much just kiss me dumbass" you lean toward him, smiling against his lips, hand gripping his thigh the other holding his cheek "wanna go to my room?" he immediately nods standing up scrambling to the room as you follow him, he rests on the edge on the bed looking up at you, his eyes practically have hearts in them as he runs his hands up your shirt pushing it higher so he can lay soft kisses along the hair trail leading down. you unbuckle your belt tossing it to the side stepping out of your pants watching as he does the same, leaning down you kiss him pushing him back onto the bed, taking note of how his legs wrap around you tighter as your hand ghosts his neck, slightly choking him to see what he does he murmurs out a soft "harder" as he tries to rut his covered cunt up into your hardening dick, the friction of your boxers rubbing aginst his clit makes him let out soft grunts, silently obliging to his wishes you tightly wrap your hand around his neck watching for discomfort before grinding down into him

sliding your hand down his underwear,the back of your hand touching the wet spot against the fabric "jesus i barely did anything and youre already looking like this" smirking at him as the irritated look on his face grows, it went as soon as it came though once he felt the pad of your thumb pressing against his clit slowly rubbing circles as you push your middle finger into him

he stops you gripping your hand trying to speak through the lack of oxygen "al-ready...just put i-t in"

a smirk washes over your face before flipping him onto his stomach pulling his ass up and slowly pushing your self in eyes widening as he slams his hips back into you a moan slipping through his lips before a small yelp as he feels the smack against his ass "did i say you can move huh?" he turns back to look at you, slowly shaking his head trying to apologize before he feels you pull out all the way just to slam back in, the force making him hunch over head pressing deep into the pillows biting his lip when he feels your hand roughly grip his hair pulling him back so your chest is flush with his back, his hand resting on his lower stomach where he feels your dick making space for itself inside of him.

"you wanna be my housewife hmm zoro? wanna carry my fucking kids for me fuck you'll make a great fucking mother" tears start brimming at his eyes when he feels your hand leaning forward to rub his clit, your movements hault making him almost sob asking why "you didn't answer my question zoro..." punctuating your sentence with a thrust, tears finally streaming down his face as he grabs your forearm nodding "please god yes i-i'll be your fu-ucking house wife if you just move"

smiling you grant his wish restarting your brutal pace praising him watching as his body flops forward, he rests on his forearms as his thighs shake almost no sound coming from him as he bites into the sheets "i wanna hear all the pretty sounds you make before i fill you up" he immediately spits out the blanket loud sobs coming from him "c-close so- clo-se" you feel his walls clamping down on you trying to milk you as you keep thrusting into him, he starts wailing, overstimulation making his drunk on your cock.

"so fucking good for me zoro im- fuck im close okay?" zoro nods tiredly "in-inside please..." he murmurs out before he feels your warm cum filling him up listening to your grunts and savoring the last few pumps before he feels you pull out slowly and lay next to him as he rolls onto his stomach carefully "pillow..." he says quietly " excuse me?" you say raising your eyebrow at him "i want to...keep it inside....give the pillow" slowly nodding you hand him the pillow watching as he pushes the pillow under his lower back

just as a happy comfortable silence consumes room zoro hears your voice

"your know i didnt take you for someone with a breeding kink..." "shut up." "but-" "shhhh." "zoro i-" "dont bring it up unless youre gonna do it again." "who said i wouldnt

[haroldthehuckleberry]

Pregnant boy-toy part 2/3

cw: mpreg, sex, controlling language, speed pregnancy

we sat and spoke for a few hours about the baby but i couldnt take my mind off how fucking sexy he was, i dont know if its the hormones but his physique and just everything was sending me wild, luckily my mountain belly was hiding my rock-hard cock in my sweatpants. the same couldnt be said for him… his massive member was clearly solid in his tight jock strap, he moved on to the couch next to me and my cock and cunt only twitched for him more.

his massive hands rested on my belly that dwarfed the tanned, veined beauties on the end of his wrists, his right hand slipped my tight vest up over my mountain-belly letting every inch of its tight skin breathe meanwhile his left hand glided up and down my thigh as my cock twitched and my cunt pulsed for him. suddenly i looked at myself and realised how much id changed, normally no man could drive me crazy enough to want him this much but its true- i needed him. i needed to please him. a whimper of a moan slipped out my lips followed by his gruff voice saying “good boy” to sooth me, those goddamn words that pissed me off to no-end only months ago are now ruling me those two words nearly made me cum on the spot when he say this though he wasn’t impressed

“tut tut, no slut of mine cums before i allow it” he bellowed as he pinched my sensitive swollen nipple causing me to moan again and drizzle a little milk for the first time “s-s-sorry” i whimpered in hopes hed allow me to cum, “sorry *what*” he said assertively “sorry d-d-daddy” i mutter half ashamed at how far id fallen for this God-like man and half so turned on it was starting to hurt my cock, “what a good little slut” he grinned as he pulled me up by my back and escorted me upstairs…

————————————

i lost count of how many times he came on my stomach of mass proportion but i was still not allowed. and i loved it. to think only jours ago i would have scoffed and rolled my eyes over being used like a machine but this is what i needed this whole time, i needed this man to control me. i assumed after i was finally allowed to cum i would leave and later plan the babies up-bringing but my daddy had different plans…

after another few hours of not cuming daddy finally let me and it exploded all over my belly-base as my cunt twitched and throbbed while his cock was being pulled out, i felt his spawn and his cum sloshing around inside me, i was full. maximum capacity. i didnt think my belly could get bigger when i arrived but it clearly has, i cant even sit up and i know daddy will only punish me if i ask for help so instead i ask permission to fall asleep, he grants me it before he gets me to suck him off one last time, i must obey.

after a great night sleep i expected to wake up to a slightly deflated belly as i assumed the cum would have been absorbed or whatever but no… my belly was EVEN bigger again my skin was so tight it looked nearly see through i looked about 18 months pregnant!! “WHAT THE FUCK!!” i screamed “shut it slut!” daddy shouted back twisting my pecs that had also swollen more over night, this pain added to the sight and feel of my belly immediately made my cock and cunt stand at attention ready for anything daddy wants me to do “p-p-please explain daddy” i beg trying not to make it obvious im ready for him whenever he wants me, “ you see,” he growls “my cum isnt like any other, i can get you pregnant no matter how far along you already are, and my spawn tend to grow bigger than the average” he puts his hand assertively on my globe of a stomach “normally my sluts come to me only a few months in so i have more time to utilise their breed-able bodies but you where naughty, you came to me late. so for this, i must teach you a lesson”

authors note:

thank you so much for the love on part one! i hope you enjoy this part too i have a rough plan for maybe one more part so unless i get an amazing idea there will probably be one more part to this series!

[surfinminho]

Kinktober day 14- Pain play w/hyunjin

⤷ warnings: slapping, overstimulation, mommy used, no specific gender, anal play, toys, bondage

⤷ word count: 427

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz @iluvseungie

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

You had him tied up, hands behind his back while you had a vibrator in his ass.

His body was painted with new red marks forming while yellow ones fade. You like tracing them with your fingers.

When people see the left over marks from the night before, they would always ask if he is okay. He didn't like having to explain that he could cum from you slapping him. So he let people think what they want to think.

"C-cum please!" He thrashes around in the bed, like he's trying to get the handcuffs off.

"No." You say nonchalantly. Turning the speed up.

"Can't - c-cant hold it in!" He whines, but before you could react you see white pooling out of his tip.

You didn't say a word, you just sighed. When you turned your head around you see him wide eyed. Tears brimming his eyes.

"I-im sorry! I didn't mean to cum!"

You reach over to his face before slapping him. You see the red mark forming on his cheek. Tear streak making it sting more.

"Such a whore" you rub the area before slapping him again.

"M-mommy please!" Tears are streaming down his face. Unable to see anything because it's so blurry.

"Mommy doesn't like boys who don't follow rules, she likes good boys." You throw your leg over his turning the vibrator on the highest speed.

"Since you wanna cum so fucking bad, you can I won't stop you."

He knows there's a catch but he can't help but think about cumming freely.

You thrust the toy in and out slowly. Sometimes feeling resistance because of how hard he's clenching down on it.

"Cumming!" He jerks up before more cum seeps out.

As soon as he finishes, he can feel the overstimulation kicking in.

"N-no more." He lightly pushed your chest but in return he gets another slap.

"You wanted to cum right?" You lean forward to kiss his neck. Biting down on it so hard you think you might've broken skin.

"M-mommy it hurts!" He frowns.

"You're still rock hard. And you have a safe word so why wouldn't you use it."

He fell silent. Well besides the moans. You were right. He knew you were right. But the thrill of him begging for you to stop is too good.

"If you're gonna cum, cum." You reach down squeezing his cock.

"A-ah" he cums, but nothing comes out but little dribbles of a almost watery type liquid.

"Aww baby. I milked you dry how cute."

[saphydragseen]

Some advice that has helped me lots throughout my life, for my fellow sick or disabled people who struggle with eating consistently. If you havent eaten in so long that you are nauseous, drink something with sugar, could be some juice, some milk (highly recommend cause it has proteins and vitamins and is very nutritious, for when you are struggling to eat well), i use fruit concentrate on water too. This will get rid of the nausea in some minutes and as soon as you can, eat a better, propper meal.

I struggle because i dont really recive the signal of HUNGER from my body and go straight to feeling nausea, the nausea is because your body needs energy to digest food and if it is struggling it will tell you to NOT eat.

So when i give it energy through the easiest way, drinking it (easy to drink even when nauseous and easy to digest), it has a sugar spike, and recovers just enough to properly eat after.

IMPORTANT, allways eat during the height of your energy, right when you feel better, do not wait too long, or the blood sugar spike will turn into a big drop and you will end sicker than before, with even lower blood sugar and it might even be dangerous.

I ussually try to eat something with fiber because it helps even out the absorption of sugar into your body and will help keep your blood sugar levels stable so you dont go sick again. But it works to just try to eat a balanced meal that you know is good for you.

This has worked for me for years, and while it is better to avoid getting sick alltogether and eat at consistent times, sometimes life happens and you cant keep up, and thats ok.

I know it is hard, you deserve to treat your body well, and be happy and healthy <3

Special thanks to my mother that works in the medical field and teached me all about the way digestion and energy levels and to my sibling who struggled before me and showed me their way of handling these issues, i would probably struggle more without their advice.

Im so sorry for the long text :"0 i struggle explaining myself with few words

[formerlycookierunauprompts]

https://www.tumblr.com/cookierunauprompts/741012613726633984/great-now-i-cant-help-but-think-of-one-dnd-au?source=share same anon!

Yes kingdoms and cookies! Aaaaaaalso I think white lily and dark enchantress would be separate in this because of well...spoilers below and marked where spoilers are. but idea basically is like for the specific prompt if you want it...well got two prompts and idk which one you'd wanna do first so I'll list them both (also forgot to mention...imagine it being a big dnd club and the characters who arent in that specific part of the campaign like in the beast yeast chapter, when the other ancients arent with pure vanilla, they are gathered around the table to watch and eat snacks and basically be giving advice....oooor for the cookies who decided to watch to try to be the devil on someone's shoulder "hey, you should try blank!"):

Potential prompt 1: the session where y/n is like "ok guys! Today, shadow milk will be joining us and he already got his character sheet...and he wrote himself as...very crazy, which isn't surprising since he is crazy himself! Sooooo this should be fun!"

Potential prompt 2: the session of the final battle...the prologue to the campaign aaaaand maybe when golden cheese rolls her nat one...curious who would laugh buuuut I bet gingerbrave at the table might be like "OH MY WITCHES, GOLDEN CHEESE IM SO SORRY!!!"

Keep reading if you want spoilers:

Ok, I warned ya!

The fact that later on in the story, it is revealed that somehow white lily cookie and dark enchantress cookie are two separate people...surprising, I know!

Requested Prompts #37 - ✦

" Alright everyone, that brings us to the end of the Dark Flour War." You say, glancing around the table at the cookies gathered. A collective sigh of relief swept through them, it had been a rough session, that was for sure. " Now then," You say, clasping your hands together. " I'd like you all to roll for the status of your kingdoms, just a plain d20, aight?" " But what about me?" White Lily Cookie speaks up, ah, right, technically she didn't have a kingdom of her own. Then again, the two of you did have something planned. " Uh... Roll for your own safety." You advised, and you could soon hear the clatter of dice upon the table. " Natural Twenty! Woohoo!" You could hear Hollyberry Cookie cheer, and you gave her a small applause for what was her first and only nat20 of the session. She'd gotten close with some 19's, but no twenties. " Alright, that leaves the Hollyberry Kingdom with pretty mild, yet very fixable damages. Very few died to the flames of the war, and it's overall decent." You explain, referencing your small chart that you had prepped for a moment before looking back up. " Who wants to say their roll next?" " I will." Dark Cacao spoke up, taking a moment to glance down at his roll. " ...Fourteen. Is that good?" " It's good enough," You begin, checking your chart. " There are some decent damages, nothing too broken though considering your kingdom's defenses, and some casualties. But overall the Dark Cacao Kingdom should be able to bounce back." Dark Cacao gave a nod of approval, meanwhile Pure Vanilla Cookie was next to speak. " I got a ten, how well off is the Vanilla Kingdom?" He asked, you could just sense the nervousness in his voice. Though all of you knew that it wouldn't be doing any good considering that the final battle took place there. " Hm... Well, after the war; The Vanilla Kingdom is mostly destroyed and abandoned... Though a lot of the citizens were able to escape via airship." You explain, catching sight of Pure Vanilla's expression melting into some form of relief. Even though it was just a game of Kingdoms and Cookies, it couldn't help but feel real to a degree. That's just how good of a dungeon master you are! " Um.. I got a five." White Lily then speaks up, and you already know your response. " Comatose in a glass coffin over at the Faerie Kingdom." You say almost immediately before turning your attention to Golden Cheese Cookie, who was staring at her dice rather intensely. " Golden Cheese Cookie? How about you?" Golden Cheese Cookie didn't respond, simply just staring down at her dice, what she rolled, dumbfoundedly. The staring continued for a moment before Golden Cheese slumped on the table, head in her hands. " ... natural one." She whispered as quiet as a mouse. " I'm sorry, what did you say?" You asked, not having quite heard her. " I got a natural one..." Golden Cheese admitted, and now you felt sorry for what you were about to tell her. " Oh, I'm very sorry for your loss." You begin, " The Golden Cheese Kingdom... For as far as you know, is completely destroyed. It's people, your friends there, your treasures. All of them... are gone." Golden Cheese Cookie looked devastated beyond words, meanwhile Dark Cacao Cookie offered some comfort in the for of a few pats on the back. Due to the fact that he was the closest to Golden Cheese in their positions on the table.

[symphonicmetal101]

Winter Wonderland

 Taking the OM Characters on dates in winter

(Specifically the mild Canadian winter we’ve had up here thus far lmao)

Lucifer - Dogs still need walking right? It can take quite a bit to pry Lucifer from his work but if you offered to take Cerberus out, he would gladly give up his pen and paper for a while to spend time with you and watch his beloved pet enjoy the snow like a puppy again. The first major snowfall of the year can be one of the best times to get Lucifer alone and see his walls come down so he can be his best goofy ass self around you. Walking trails of freshly fallen snow quickly get patted down as Cerberus gallops down them with all the grace of a tornado, sometimes leaving you and Lucifer with faces full of snow. He’ll keep that in mind next time, and keep his wings out so he can block the brunt of the snow that flies up from Cerberus’ frolicking. 

Mammon - HAHAHAAA MAKE HIM PLAY CRACK THE WHIP! I've only played it once but it was a blast. A rope is tied to a vehicle (in my case a golf cart) and knots are tied to create grips. Yjust sit in your sled and hold on to the rop for dear life as the vehicle moves. The farther back you are, the bigger the turn is. If you let go you loose fjdjxjdj but its so much fun. He might gripe about his arms hurting after but nothing a warm shower and snuggles cant fix.

Levi - This man....god, good luck getting him out of his room. BUT there is a cute date to be had yet. You guys can go out to one of the fabric stores, that way y’all can touch all the fabrics to figure out what textures you like the best- so that when you guys get home you can make scarves to keep each other warm. When Levi needs it during the colder months - in or out of his room- he’s almost always wearing the scarf you made for him. If it’s too warm to actually wear it, it becomes a comfort item of his, so he has it on him at all times anyways. But he can’t deny the fact that knowing you’re walking around with something functional, pretty, and made with love from him feels amazing- you’re his and he’s yours, in and out of sight of each other. 

Satan - I love this nerdy little guy, I love him I really do, if the side characters didnt exist, this is my main bitch right here lmao.  I’m a sucker for a cold snowy day being an excuse to cuddle up together, watch snow fall and drink hot chocolate, but I’m gonna try just...just a notch to the left of that lmao...maybe just a bit more and because I feel like I need more chaotic Satan in my life, we’re getting more chaotic Satan. The great thing about starting fires in winter is that the snow is your extinguisher- so long as you don’t use too much gasoline/oil to start it lmao. With that in mind, Satan will take you to buy all compressed gas/air products like hairspray and show you how to make a flamethrower out of them. and explain the science behind it while beaming like the sweetest guy in the world. But if that’s a little too intense, he’s happy to make a campfire and let you throw different products in to change the colour of the flames, and again, he will explain the science behind it all. 

Asmodeus - He’s right up there with Satan lskjdhfkjdhskj I love him. Though he has the capability of being just as if not more chaotic than Satan, all I’m getting right now is making a hot chocolate bar for just the two of you in his room- reason being he already had to enchant his room to keep scents from escaping due to a Lip Gloss Shortage Via Being Eaten committed by a certain little brother. So his room is a safe zone for food and drink, and its the only drink he’ll allow in order to keep his room as clean and nice smelling as possible. But he loves going to shop for the different syrups, the whip cream, the sprinkles, the different chocolates, the different milks, even a mini fridge and the aesthetic containers to put everything into. You guys frequently sit in towels and face masks, just sipping at your own and each others hot chocolate....though if you get a little whipped cream on your lip, he’ll be taking care of that for you too ;)

Beelzebub - God I want to go downhill skiing with this guy....and I’m sorry but this is because of my experience...I think Beel would be great at it, truly, and I believe he would be GREAT at teaching others, going ahead and skiiing backwards, holding your hands  if you need it. Otherwise he’s happy to be racing down along side you. However, because of the most terrifying experience I had while I learned how to ski, he gets distracted looking at you, but the flimsy warning “fence” at the bottom of the hill is just that- a warning, not something solid to crash into. He ends up going right under, skis flying out from underneath him and dangling over the edge of a cliff, barely hanging on before trying to wiggle back up into safety. He plays it off fairly quickly, but makes sure he’s always at the bottom before you are so you never have to experience that. Then its the lift, and hot chocolate at the lodge.

Belphie - Making gingerbread houses....if it weren’t so much effort. He opts for rice krispy treats, the vanilla scent and flexibility he gets out of them are much more preferable for him. Also they are easier to mass produce so that his twin can eat some while you make structures out of them. They aren’t as structurally as sound as you would have hoped, and you share a laugh as the “house” collapses in on itself. You end up using a plastic cup to support yours, but Belphie just breaks a piece off to eat and slides the rest over to Beel, fully decorated and all.

Diavolo - SLEDDING OH MY GOD TAKE THIS MAN SLEDDING he has never known the joy and terror of hitting a jump you did not see when you started going down the hill and flying- however, he would refuse to go if there were children there simply because he knows he would run them over and they would not get up. To be fair, his weight and size may simply flatten any jumps on the hill???? but I want to hear the ungodly noise of surprise and terror of being unexpectedly launched to the fucking skies that comes out of a man of his caliber. Because after the first time, he’s intentionally hitting that jump repeatedly, and circumstances allowing, he will use his wings to glide lmao. With that in mind, if he has his demon form out I’m just getting the image of him barreling into a tree full speed and getting his horns stuck. In a daze (could you imagine if he fucking uprooted the thing?) and Barb fucking panicking trying to detach the prince from a fucking THICK tree. That or if there’s a lake at the bottom of the hill? And he can’t just pop the demon form out because of other humans around? God can you imagine the dumb smile he gives you while he’s literally sitting on thin ice, but the moment he shifts his weight shifts, he just hears a crack and yelps before going in the ice water??? He might not be able to use his demon form but theres no way in any realm he’s staying in that shit, by the time you “help” him out, he’s inexplicably dry and very warm. But he would be done for the day, please baby him after that. Basically this man doesnt think to stop his sled bc hes going so fast and its fun, consequences be damned. (Can you tell I think about him a lot? Is the pfp not enough? The people Im on discord with, did you know that Diavolo is my favourite? I love him. This is why Satan and Asmodeus are Not my favourite)

Barbatos - Polar dip. Barb thrives at night because its not until late he's relinquished from his duties as the princes butler. I'm also a firm believer that he likes cold water anyways. Also you see him in a bathing suit so tell me where the loss is. There isn't any loss. Whether you go in with him or cheer him on from the shore and hold his towel, simply being in your presence is enough for him. Moonlit kisses on the sand, trying to warm up after hes done and also...him getting to be a bit of a shit with that excuse, getting you cold and a little wet when he hugs you as soon as he gets out, laughing a bit over your shoulder as he says he was just too cold and a towel didn't cut it. Having a warm shower when you get home and just being very snuggly so neither of you get cold again for the rest of the night.....yeah (also one of my faves xjxjxjjdks)

Mephistopheles - Sleigh ride time! (Thank you @sophisticatedmarten for the inspo) Reindeer aren't quite horses, but they look so damn good in the snow and all dressed up, Meph can't really complain. The seats are plush and the blankets you two brought are fluffy and warm. The demon at the reins is well-practiced and confident, and its clear with how smoothly the sleigh moves. With just the two of you its the perfect time to drop the hottest gossip and exchange stories, but the route the ride is set to go on is absolutely gorgeous. Meph enlists your help in getting as many pictures as possible to capture the magic the season brings. Not only will this be good for RAD and the latest article he hopes to write, but it will be a good way to end the scrapbook he's been putting together for you meticulously with pictures from every date the two of you have gone on- as friends or otherwise- with heartfelt love letters sprinkled in between.

Simeon - Ice skating. Please. I feel like he doesnt know how. I don't either. But just the image of him struggling to balance so much that he pulls out his wings to balance more and ends up smacking some kid in the face by accident. Maybe Luke, who was going full throttle in a race with a friend. (He has more experience bc of school fieldtrips and totally for not self indulgent reasons regarding an angel child oc I have that is an avid figure skater. Yeah.) Simeon being caught by surprise and his wings poofing as he tries to draw them in so he can try and apologize to Luke, but Luke not giving a crap having laughed it off and already bolted again. But because his wings are out and puffed up you can't help but want to snuggle up to his side, hugging him with one arm and getting warmed up by his feathers. It only takes Simeon a couple of minutes with a lead before he figures it out, and the rest of the night is pretty mild. (Except when Luke tried to catch a snowflake on his tongue and Simeon had to catch him before he crashed into someone else)

Raphael - ok I still don't know him. Like at all. Hes a stranger to me. So I'm assigning a snowball fight to him. If you're on opposite sides get ready for him to never hold back and hit you without fail every. Single. Time. He has the most intense snow fortress you've ever seen. If he's playing on your side though? You'll find you won't have a single snowball hit you. He will block Every Single One and if he ever misses the person who hit you is his biggest target. He gets very competitive so you might have to step in before he packs it so hard the ball is just ice. Would go in with his bare hands, gets very soft and flustered when you insist you have to warm them up for him.

Luke - My sweet child!! The week before winter break you and Luke are seated at the table handpainting large wooden beads white, threading sturdy and pretty twine through three, and tying it off so Luke can decorate the little snowmen ornaments to give out to his teachers. There are lots of laughs and giggles, Simeon and Barb are likely there as well and bringing cookies and tea for when they convince both of you to take a small break. The cookies are leftovers from the batches Luke and Barb made earlier, to put into parchment paper wrapped with a ribbon.....to put inside of cute little origami bags. It's a lot of work, seeing as Luke keeps remembering more people he wants to give these little gifts too, but its a labour of love as the four of you get it done. Luke is able to go to bed satisfied and excited for the next school day to hand out his presents.

Solomon -  I’m soft for this lovely bastard. And I like to think that every once in a while he also gives into the whims of The Child. So just spending the day between the three of you making snow-people, angels and demons. Solomon’s magic allows for the extra support and correction of lopsided wings or one horn bigger than the other. You find yourself singing about Frosty the Snowman and Luke is enthralled by the story, on the hunt for a silk hat to put on one of the snowfolk. Solomon can’t help but give you a small wink before enchanting the kids own hat and telling him to try it. Despite the suspicious look Luke gives him before trying it, his worry dissipates as the snow version of one of his friends comes to life, leaving him giggling. Thankfully, Solomon left it as a “timed” spell so that there would be no fighting the snowman back to get Luke’s hat, and so it wouldn’t run off. When the magic finally faded the three of you are worn out from playing all day that you all but collapse in front of the fireplace and snuggle a bit until Simeon gets home. Luke gets up and runs off, leaving you and Solomon to cuddle for a bit on your own.

Thirteen - hahaHA my wife I ADORE her grab the red food colouring and her hand, you’re on a mission to find some icicles and some unsuspecting souls. First things first is making a very realistic mold of a body out of snow, and some clothing that may or may not be Solomon’s cut to fit it underneath the icicles. She breaks one off, puts it through the snow dummys neck and dyes it red everywhere the “blood” ought to be. Now yes, the two of you are going to camp on the roof of this place and anytime someone tries to come over you hit the roof to make the icicles fall right before they get there. :) Its just a little dangerous its fine nobody will get seriously hurt. A/N: God I was so overtired writing this, apologies but not really, Im just happy to have been able to write something again. Things have been really stressful lately, would open writing comms but paypal isn’t working so yknow, I’ll find a way to get through it. About to head out on my little sisters Make A Wish Trip, with no fucking money for me to be able to spend because of how shit went down but Happy Holidays!!! Here’s to hoping everything gets better for everyone! Masterlist

[imlivinginyourtrashcan]

tell me your indus and Howie headcanons please

Aaa! Of course!!! I genuienly love Indus, so theres plenty for him! Sadly for Howie, not so much :( hes great but vv hard to hc for

INDUS TARBELLA:

He loves baking! You can walk into the kitchen seeing him covered in batter and trying to muscle open something with a barrier. (Mera has to help him open things)

Loud snorer, i cant explain WHY but i look at him and feel like he does snore loudly

His not so guilty pleasure is Disney movies; he'll have Mera watch them all with him. Its kinda cute seeing him giggle at everything like hes a child

You cant take him on rides at Disney tho, he'll scream. Mera learned that the hard way

Dog person. Loves the big does, and lizards! He'll come in with a handful of lizards and be like:

"Look at what I found, Lady Mera!" Indus declared proudly, offering his two hands forward to reveal a family of lizards.

Mera looked down at them both, raising a brow in confusion. Looking back up she sees Indus' childlike grin, "May I keep them??? Please???"

Mera sighed heavily "Indus, put them back..." Indus lowers his head "Awww.. "

Hes probably eaten anything that wasnt food, either by dumb curiosity or trying to protect Mera, sometimes its the other way around and Mera has to slap something out of his hands. Or comfort him when hes coughing out a bite of deodorant

Hes like a giant pillow. You will sink if you hug him, absolutely worth it.

On that note, he loves hugs! But will absolutely crush your bones! Just like that one bear pokémon

Music taste wise, i picture him listening to the Tarzan sound track, or whatever Mera's listening to (probably grungey stuff)

Has punched a scare actor in the face many times out of fear. Hes banned from several haunted houses and thene parks

His hair is ridiculously fluffy. I can sense it

HOWIE HONEYGLOW

Prone to burnout, sometimes he will pass out from being overworked, only to get back up and continue working

Has fucked up teeth from all the honeyed snacks

Secretly collects a lot of bee related things, like plushies

Rarely gives sick days or time off, you better either be dying or dead to not come in

Unpopular opinion, I dont think Howie's aro, but i do agree that he's ace.

Doesnt listen to music; either the bee movie or buzzing asmr is playing in his ears

Probably had a speech impediment, it comes out when hes angry

An artist! He's not all that good but hes TRYING

Knows the art of pinecone milking (Percy taught him)

I feel like this man would bite into a honeycomb and like it

On that note, he eats honey nut cheerios for breakfast every day

Always has water on hand for the fellas, cant let em dehydrate! He himself? Dehydrated as fuck

Also brings snacks for the fellas! He himself? Hungry but wont say anything

Favorite pokemon are all the bee ones

Nonbinary, uses He/they pronouns

Looks at least 30 from stressed and over working himself

His diet consists of only ceral, honeyed snacks and monster energy

At least he has good iron intake?????

Hope you enjoyed, anon!

[deadwooddross]

gonna go ahead and crack pandora’s wasp nest open here—how could naruto have been good/how would u have written it

*begins chewing at my restraints and rips the iron door of my containment unit off its hinges* okay so the SHORT version is that naruto should have ENDED ssssomewhere around the Pain arc, maybe throw in one more, could probably keep..tobi...if you just make it WAY less convoluted, but. like that's it that's the wrap up on the lesson of NINJAS ARE HUMAN WEAPONS IN THE ARSENAL OF ENDLESS WAR. You can get maybe ONE more amp up, but the actual story did like 40, because it's shonen. Also Naruto could have had at least a LITTLE thought put into how he was like. raised. there is so much retroactive storytelling in this manga but apparently naruto has just been living in an apartment off his government provided milk and ramen since he was an infant. Maybe make me give a shit about Sarutobi by having had him go and bottle feed the demon baby or SOMETHING. Is Jiraiya the deadbeat sending child support checks or something? It's extremely hard to have Naruto exist at all as he is the second you put any thought into his childhood- which is why GAARA EXISTS. THAT'S NARUTO WITH 6 SECONDS OF THOUGHT. GIVE THAT BOY A FRIEND TO EXPLAIN HOW HE'S SO PEPPY!! SOME SORT OF GUARDIAN FIGURE BEFORE HE'S 12, Iruka could Almost count if he didn't act like he barely knew the little guy. Teacher Watches Orphan Go To Empty Home While Sad Flute Song Plays and says: Fuck that little kid, cant stand him, oh shit wait the author realized he needs one (1) parental figure in order to not lose his mind okay here i c Anyway, besides all that. Well for one thing Sasuke is RIGHT. Fuck Konoha! And the Government! did you see what they did to his clan!!! That one dude fucking HARVESTED them!! So you have little renegade fuck the system baby, and "If I'm king president I can fix all the problems!" baby. Good end: Naruto goes damn maybe u right and we should make some steps to try and alter the cycle of war and death and genetic eyeball supremacy. Neji voice: yeah i taught you all about weird bloodline family shit, remember that?? Bad end: The Entire Rest Of Naruto and Boruto, And No One Learned Anything. Also, the retroactive addition of GODS and PROPHECY anD REINCARNATION and MORE BLOODLINE SUPER WIZARD POWERS is so. Lame, Boring, Snore. Giving naruto a special baby background DESTROYS the fact he's kind of a nobody! He's just some kid with ONE skill he worked really hard on and he uses it in order to hack his way into doing all the other stuff he wants to do!! His only boon is haaving a LOT of energy to burn and STUBBORNNESS!! Screams in ADHD child Haku, Gaara, the Akatsuki/Orochimaru, and Pain. Are all good. Those are the arcs that stay and every one of them has a PRETTY STRONG POINT point about what happens when you smash children into little nukes. Eats that with a spoon. (PS JIRAIYA WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID YOU LEAVE THOSE INFANTS IN A WAR Z) Oh also there's a lot to be said on how to rewrite uhhh literally Any of the women characters into relevancy because as they are rn they barely even count as such. But if i talk about that I would be here for the entire rest of the y- IMAGINE IF SAKURA'S FUCKING MEDICAL JUTSU MEANT ANYTHING!! WHAT IF SHE COULD HAVE BEEN USEFUL AGAINST KONAN BECAUSE SHE CAN SEE ALL HER NERVES IN HER HORRIFYING PAPER FLESH NO JUTSU, SOMETHING, ANYTHING, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *i am dragged back into my cell*

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

STAR GIRL I CANT OMG😭 (it's Starlight )

Anyways

So Starlight is 100% dating Hughie while yes she also was forced to date Homelander for the public eye until (I think it's been a while) episode 6, herogasam, MM (mothers milk he's a character btw) filmed her do an Instagram livestream where she exposes Home boy and quits her jop as hero in Vought (i don't really know how to explain it)

So Soldier Boy and Homelander fight cause Soldier boy also wanted to kill Ryan (the kid from Becca {Butcher's wife} and Homelander, since he r@ped her while she was working at Vought, later in season 2 Ryan accidentally kills her, wanting to protect her from Stormfront (a nazi bitch who used to be with SoldierBoy during WW2 {Kinda fucked up} and was dating Homelander {also fucked up}), by using his lasers) so now Homelander is mad because he thought that he could have that American family typ of shit since he found out that Soldier Boy was his father. Soldier boy still gets thrown out the tower of Vought from Queen Mave (the red head hero from Vought who didn't appear in season 4, not firecracker) where it was also believed she die in but she just had a few injuries and went to live with her girlfriend (the gf is not a supe and only is like in 5 episode) on the Countryside where Homelander could never bother them ever again. ( SPOILER THIS WHOLE THING HERE IS A SPOILER: IN THE END OF SEASON 4 AFTER THE POST CREDIT SCEAN HOMELANDER IS SEEN WALKING IN A LAP OF VOUGHT WHERE A TUP IS AND THEN HE SAYS "SO THATS WHERE YOU BEEN {DAD??[NO CLUE IF HE SAID DAD OR NOT]}" AND THEN IT SHOWS SOLDIER BOY SLEEPING IN IT )

And yeah the supes have their own movies where they basically just lie about they life to make themselves look good cause spoiler alert they are not good people and Butcher and his crew know that so they try to take down every supe, mostly Homelander cause he r@ped Butcher wife and got lied to by Vought that she just died or went missing when then Grace? (I think was her name) showed up and showed him a security footage where both Becca and Homelander walk in a room and stay in to from 2+ hours before Becca walked out completely discomfort and her whole make-up messed up

)Sorry for bad grammar English isn't my first language(

<also how much you know of the backstorys???(sorry if its too much)>

I really need to watch more of this show (or rewatch what I’ve seen), it’s complex 😅

Ok I knew parts of that but I didn’t know who Ryan’s mom was, so thanks!

As far as backstories…

I know Soldier Boy had a crappy dad and that he got kidnapped and none of his teammates came for him, and that redhead chick that he loved hated him. I also know he was a horrible dude and he beat up…that guy who sees cartoon characters (I’m so sorry I forgot his name 😅)

And I remember Billy had an abusive father and…his brother died? After Billy left him alone with the dad? I think?

And honestly that’s about it, I mostly watched for Jensen so I don’t remember a lot of it besides him 😅. But I did end up really liking Billy Butcher

[leave-your-body]

ALRIGHT I'M HERE TO RETURN THE GODDAMN FAVOUR!!!!!!

Are there any songs you'd recommend for the killjoys? I loved your response man you GET IT. I'm so glad you sent that ask

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!! so glad u asked me this too. AND glad that you loved my response your songs were SO. GOOD. FUCK. HERE ARE MINE THAT I THINK ABOUT A NORMAL AMOUNT.

theres no i in team by taking back sunday GODDDD. best friend means i pulled the trigger. best friend means you get what you deserve. UHM I DUNNO HOW 2 EXPLAIN THIS ONE but theres something abt the fab four in there. "i started something i couldnt finish, and if we go down we go down together" I DONT KNOW i really dont u jsut have 2 trust me

teenager by jeff rosenstock, ITS SO KILLJOYS like jsut how the Live and Experience the world with each other. "i wanna yell at my friends sometimes/ sticking flowers in each others hair" and "i know that every moments fleeting, i know i have too many feelings"

infinity milk by dananananaykroyd YOUVE GOT BLOOD TO BLEED BUT WEVE GOT MOUTHS TO FEED.... WHEN A DOOR BECOMES A WAR (leaving battery city RAHHH) WE WIN WITH OUR EFFORTLESS STYLE

abra cadaver by the hives. this one is a little obvi. better living ind

MAYBE THIS IS CHEATING :( but veins! veins!! veins!! by frank iero. HEAR ME OUT. "though we barely survived i never felt more alive" AND "this bitter pill ive swallowed down is greeted by a poisonous smile, A CALCIFIED GUT!!! A CANCEROUS GUT!!! THE APPETITE TO GIVE UP!!!!!!!!"

permanent daylight by radiohead might ALSO be cheating. since it has such little lyrics. but i just feel like it was how poison felt in battery city before they ran away. if that makes sense. head on backwards...

so yr gonna have to bear w me on this one cuz i have a bunch of songs by one of my fav bands BUT you kindaaa have to use yr imagination. the connections are a bit abstract and the music itself is prolly an acquired taste BUT here we go. the wind and the weathervanes by johnny foreigner FEELS SOO KILLJOY TO ME like the scene that they play out in their lyrics... i can See it happening to the fab four i dunno. and then To The Death, something something the girl after they die. somethign. Choose Yr Side And Shut Up! is also killjoys but idk if that ones Too abstract to even make sense.... i feel like w this band its more abt vague Ideas than it is concrete lyrics and stuff..... so i cant tell if im the only one seeing the vision LOL

okay since that one was so all over the place, rebel girl by bikini kill. self explanatory. they are rebel girls

THOSE ARE THE MAIN ONES THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME!!!! I THINK ABOUT THEM 24/7. IS IT OBVIOUS.

[enlighten3d]

OKAY. MY THOUGHTS ON MUTANT MAYHEM:

its amazing.

(spoilers for tmnt mutant mayhem!!!!!)

this is all going to be very incoherent and in all caps

SO I FUCKING LOVE IT. ITS NOT MY FAVOURITE (thats rise, i owe my soul to rise), BUT.

gods its so amazing

their first time meeting april! ITS VERY SIMILAR TO THE WAY THEY MEET APRIL IN 2012 BUT WITH LEO BEING THE SIMP EXCEPT HES NOT AS CREEPY ABOUT IT????

and oh my gods, april literally said the word 'sus' in the movie. SEVERAL TIMES. WHY. ASHFBSK WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY TO ME HOLY SHIT. AND DONNIE LITERALLY TOLD LEO THAT HE HAS NO RIZZ. USING THE WORD RIZZ.

leo is. in the words of my good friend, @sp-teri, "leo is cringefail". i love leo so much. donnies my favourite, but. leo is wonderful. HE DOESNT KNOW WHAT HES DOING AND HAS LITERALLY NO RIZZ (donnie described it perfectly) HES AMAZING

and oH MY GODS. SUPERFLY?? SUPERFLY IS COOL. VERY COOL. HES KINDA LIKE DRAXUM BUT ALSO NOT???????

how is superflys plan even supposed to WORK. i mean, he wants to turn all animals into mutants and kill humans. HOW DOES THE OOZE (i love that its called ooze in this. ooze rights.) DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN ANIMALS AND HUMANS????? HUMANS ARE ANIMALS TOO...

idk, ill chalk it up to movie logic, i guess.

AND BRO. DONNIE. MUTANT MAYHEM DONNIE IS AMAZING.

HES A KPOP STAN. im so proud of him.

AND THE ENTIREEEEE MOVIE HINGES ON THE FACT THAT DONNIE RLY RLY RLY LIKES ATTACK ON TITAN. THEY WON BECAUSE OF ATTACK ON TITAN. GO FOR THE NECK!!!!!!! AND IT WORKS. I AM. IM GOING INSANE ABT THAT.

AND DONNIE HIMSELF. HES MY FAVOURITE. I LOVE HIM. HES SO SASSY AND AMAZING AND HE HAS SO MUCH PERSONALITY AND. i stan every version of donnie (...even 2012 donnie...) BUT MM!DONNIE? HES MY SECOND-FAVOURITE (once again, my soul belongs to rise).

donnie is. hes so cool Ɛ>

i literally dont have words.

and i love mm!april so much. IM SO PROUD OF HER. SHES A CONSPIRACY THEORIST AND WE STAN IT. AND SHE OVERCAME HER FEAR OF CAMERAS IN THE END!!! SHES A REAL REPORTER!!!!! APRILLLLLL O'NEILLLLLL

and oh, oh! that weird boss lady that wants to milk the turtles (every damn time they said that they were gonna milk the turtles, i was. that shits hilarious. "they/we dont even have nipples!")! my theory, with basically no evidence to it, is that SHES A KRAANG OR SMTH. IDK. i mean, she mentioned utroms????

OH MAN THE SHREDDER APPEARING AT THE END THO??? CHILLS. CHIIIILLLLSSSS

and omg the turtles get to go to school. im so happy for them. THEY GET TO BE TEENAGERS! i do not approve of them taking their masks off, but pop off ig LMAO.

AND THE. THE ARTSTYLE OF THE MOVIE. AGH. SO FUCKING PRETTY. I LOVED ALL THE EXPLOSIONS AND SCRIBBLES AND -

oh my gods the fuckin childishly drawn scene near the beginning where theyre dreaming about their 'impossible' future is. IT COMES TRUE!!!! almost. BECAUSE THE CHILDISHLY DRAWN VERSIONS OF THEM HAD SIXPACKS, ABHAHAHEBRBDJGJKE THAT IS SO FUCKING FUNNY TO ME-

Back to the art! it was all so... 3d... which is a bit of a redundant statement, considering that i watched the movie in 3d, BUT. it was so... lively ! they were all so animated (pun intentional)!! its such a UNIQUE artstyle and is so amazing and wonderful Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>

im. i dont draw so i cant rly properly marvel at the wondrousness of the art, BUT AS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ART??? ITS SO FUCKING PRETTY AND BEAUTIFUL!!!!!

oh and all the little connections and references and parallels to the other iterations of tmnt!!! their goofy-ass belts w their initials, splinter being like... was it 2003 splinter that was originally a rat instead of a human? OH the movie also kinda reminded me of bay tmnt in some ways! cant rly explain it... but there are connections to all the other shows and movies and its so cool ... (not pointing out any rise or 2012 connections because theyre just so INHERENT??? mm is, in a way, kinda like if rise were 2012. BUT ALSO NOT. BECAUSE ITS A SEPARATE THING. but its one way to describe it.)

but also, quickly going back to aprileo thing, i dont. im not into it. leo, i support your rights and wrongs, TRUST ME I DO, but. idk abt this one, man... i rly hope they dont make aprileo properly canon and april just rejects leo. tbf im not big on romance in general, but i rly do think of the turtles and april as being family. aprileo is just odd. BUT I AM VERY GOOD AY IGNORING ROMANCE SO. hopefully i wont have to do that tho.

SPEAKING OF ROMANCE. THE FUCKING SPLINTER X THAT ONE COCKROACH MUTANT? THAts KINDA DISGUSTING BUT ALSO FUCKING HILARIOUS. never thought id see a rat and a cockroach making out be animated in a movie. that cockroach is splinters cockroach friend back when he was just a rat, wasnt she... SHE DIDNT DIE AFTER GETTING RUN OVER BY A SCOOTER!!! accurate to real life cockroaches lmaooo

and the climax of the movie!! i cant believe leos 'we can do it' speech worked. like. POP OFF, but. raph is right, only time leo was ever cool Ɛ> /aff

and the ending of the movie,,, THEY GET TO GO TO SCHOOOLLL!!! WITH APRILLLLLLLL (O'NEILLLLL)!!!!!!

mikey gets to join the improv comedy club.... im unashamed to say that i legit laughed at his 'australian nike is crikey' joke LMAO. its. im laughing just thinking about it. dont. dont question me, i love bad jokes sm

mikey looks like a watermelon Ɛ>

watermelon guy... but fr, mikey is v pog tooooo!! i dont particularly have much to say about him,, i didnt pay much attention to him honestly, but hes still VERY COOL

and raph is cool too!!! i just didnt pay much attention to him either qhdhjd

OH. EVERYBODY LISTEN TO ME: MIKEY AND RAPH ARE TWINS. FUCKING FIGHT ME. WERE IGNORING THE FACT THAT THEYRE ALL THE SAME AGE. MIKEY AND RAPH ARE TWINS. THEYRE GOOFY TOGETHER.

i love them all so much holy shit.

i love this movie so much.

its so amazing.

its so pretty.

the plot is so goofy.

i cant wait for the tv show.

Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>Ɛ>

[your-friendly-neighbourh00d-fag]

can u pwetty pwease give me some fic recs? for seriously whatever i am so bored

HAIIIIIII you asked for peterick before so ill give you some of those and then also whatever :3

Somewhere You Exist by leyley09 OH MY GOD THIS ONE WAS SOOOOO SOO SOOSOSOSOO GOOD, okay so its set in the dance, dance universe and there's two versions of the band, the dorky high school losers and the actual fall out boy, like in the video. i cant explain the concept well enough but this was AMAZING i literally read it in one sitting and nearly cried, cannot reccomend it enough.

i gave you my heart by fulltimeproblem this was a cute little christmas fic, a lot of fluff. this is one of my favourites, i think they got the dynamic really right.

According To Your Heart (It's Our Time Now) by fanatic_by_definition oh. ohoohohooooo. alternate universe where they film a music video for the kids aren't alright. enough said, right?

A Little Infamy by ladyfoxxx this is the sweetest porn star au i've ever read. don't be fooled by what it says on the package, this one will get you crying at 3am. i love fake dating so much

Milk and Honey Under Her Tongue by catacombz okay this one isnt peterick but !!!!! LESBIAN FRIKEY!!!!! SAVE ME LESBIAN FRIKEY!!!! honestly everyone that writes femcr i love you forevrer

We Used To Be Friends, also by ladyfoxxx frikey au where mikey plays rhythm for the used. this was rreeeally good, a good ol' slowburn.

Zones [Director's Cut] by headless-killjoys (neepynoodles) funkobra, and NONBINARY FUN GHOUL 🗣️🗣️🗣️ I LOVE WHEN NONBINARY FUN GHOUL 💥💥💥 this one's a funky au, too, its cool

losing streak. by ophelias_ink a little funkobra racetrack fic, we love to see it

Crash The Mall by starcrossed_kaiju ough. this one made my heart hurt. the joys really are just kids who never got to be kids, huh.

also i watched IT again and therefore i will probably have some more reddie fic soon so WATCH OUT! GAY PEOPLE APPROACHING!

[safetycar-restart]

I imagine that Max cg/dom would just start giving him dume/Illogical punishments. When he Insist he get a one like.

Dom: fine if you insist on a punishment i'll give you one uh...you cant have.. uh raisinss of a week mister

Max: but Mommy i don't like raisinss. I don't think we have any in the house.

Dom: Well I guess it doesn't matter you cant have any.

And other stuff he do mot like in sub/litte space and more random stuff like no watergun fights in the dead of winter or no horre movies of a month

Or mabye making him write. I am a good boy and don't need to be punisht or I will not blame myself for somting I have no control over. On paper by hand like 20 times so that he dose not forget

Sorry for my bad english/gammer mistakes. English is not my first language and I'm very dyslexi.

Sony worry about your English anon!!! I can understand what you meant by this ask and that’s all that counts. And I absolutely love this idea. I'm gonna make this in the d/s au because of max's history of his bad past dom in that au, cause I think that makes the most sense here.

Firstly, the ridiculous punishments start when max requests a punishment for something that he absolutely doesn't deserve a punishment for. Maybe he made a mistake in quali? He still got on the front row, and as far as you're concerned he did amazing, but he missed pole position because he had to abandon his last flying lap from running wide and he thinks he needs to be punished.

His old dom would have punished for him that, and his dad would have called his old dom to confirm that he received a good enough punishment.

But it's completely different with you.

With you, rather than berate him when he got out the car, you immediately hugged him close and asked if he was okay, praising him for trying his best and making sure he isnt beating himself up too hard for his mistake.

It's such a sharp contrast to what he's used to and he has no idea what to do about it.

He doesn't get much time with you until after media, and even then he doesn't know what to do. He should be being punished right now, but instead you're trying your best to comfort him and he doesn't know what to do because he doesn't think he deserves this.

So he panics and called the safeword even though you aren't scening. You step back of course, asking him what's wrong and that's when he just babbles about how he needs to be punished.

You tell him that for the next week, he's not allowed to drink any almond milk. Max HATES almond milk.

He looks at you in confusion, reminding you that he hates that and you just smile and nod, telling him that it doesn't matter. That's his punishment.

You explain to him that he is getting the punishment he deserves, because he doesn't deserve an actual punishment for making a genuine mistake on track.

It takes a long time for that message to really hit home, but you stick with the ridiculous punishments the entire time.

I also think that making him write lines like that is the perfect punishment for when he really does need to be punished, like when he talks bad about himself or breaks one of the self care rules.

Often he'll end up crying as he writes, because you always make sure that what he has to write is something that he really needs to hear and it's always so difficult for him.

You always sit with him while he writes, letting him take breaks whenever he needs to and offering him plenty of cuddles and kisses, praising him for doing so well and promising him that he'll be forgiven once he finishes his lines.

[tododeku-or-bust]

you dont have to awnser this of you dont want to but i saw your poll and i wanted to ask, is saying a poc friends food smells weird really racist? ive never seen it that way, and its gone both ways with us. its the same way that pineapple on pizza is weird. and of course thats just two people but. is saying that really bad?

It's rooted in racism/xenophobia, Yes.

I personally haven't experienced this, so I'm going to try to explain best I can and in good faith, but it would be ideal for you to read the tags of that post and maybe ask those people with that specific experience this so they can explain better.

Saying that "pineapple on pizza is weird" is a harmless opinion. It's not the same. Hell, Hawaiian Pizza is not even attached in origin to the culture it's named after (which in and of itself could be ANOTHER Racial Topic™ lmao)

anyway, no one's pineapple pizza has ever been told it "can't be warmed up in the communal microwave because of its smell". It's never been banned from the office space because some white lady thought it "smelled bad" (meanwhile the person whose lunch it is- who's been eating this meal their whole life- thinks it smells delectable). I promise your grilled cheese has never been teased for its "different" looks when brought to school (kids aren't shit, sometimes 😭).

I think you're approaching it (and this happens a lot with racism) from the perspective of intent. "I'm not racist, i just think it smells weird" okay, in comparison to what? What is not weird? Questions like that can help you examine your own biases. Bc you could just say "i don't like the smell/it doesn't look good to ME", and THAT would be a different statement. It puts the onus on YOU and your opinion, and not someone's food or culture (at least, not by that point). Even I have to remind myself of this!

Bc I'm sure a situation like that can be very isolating; to know that when a place says "oh well you cant bring Food A to work because it smells" knowing that Specific Ethnic Group is more than likely going to bring Food A....is targeting. Maybe no one sat down and went "let's harass Group", but that's the insidiousness of covert racism- no one ever seems to think (or wants to admit) they're doing it.

Hell, I'm sure there are people from cultures of color across the planet who would think American White Milk, Government Cheese Cups, and PB&J blocks from the Prison Truck for kids school lunch is "weird" too but America's gonna keep serving that shit to our kids en masse so 🤣

[quarantinescarpet]

My quotes list from over the years

FRESHMAN

-“‘tis I the frenchiest fry.”

-“Someone’s stabbing me in the leg with a spork.”

-“I A DEMOCRAT OOPS”

-Spill the pony tea.

-How many geese would it take to bring down a full grown man?

-Point is, I love you both and I would 10/10 ride a motorbike

-“Apparently someone in Mr. Hopkins G block got scared of turkey noises.”

-“It’s like... it’s like a stupid game of Russian roulette Tetris with giant death machines”

-“I feel like you'd have a shrine to remember Spider-man, complete with candles and every single ‘mr stark I don't feel so good’ meme printed out.”

-“don’t ask me, I don’t know anything about the sex”

-“I WILL RIP YOUR DICK OFF”

-“What’s the difference between gay silence and regular silence?”

-“what yields a focus pencil? A patience tree?”

-“I might boogie on the desk so hard that the gum keeping it together gets unchewed and yeets back into the dimension it belongs in”

-“You smell like my fencing teacher”

-“sponsor a sponsor! Become a child”

-“Woof woof bitch, im a furry.”

-“yo to the hoe”

-“does my emoji still smell?”

SOPHOMORE

-“peter doesn't have a detachable head”

-“two thirds of me is wearing glasses”

-“You look like you have autism. Are you vaccinated?”

-“When did Haydar become friends with Emily?” “In hell”

-“I know you have something to do with Filbert”

-“Ayo beans check”

-“Who cares about beating the game‽ I’m a goose.”

-“You can’t make contact lenses out of cranberries”

-“cannabalism is for beans”

-“You know the party is lit when the epileptic kid starts doing the worm”

-“Imagine getting stabbed to the beastie boys”

-“I CANT TORTILLA MY CHOCOLATE MILK”

-“Pure drip”

-“The All Mighty King Tuggle Wuggle the Original... The 5th”

-“It’s a drink.” “Coal?” “I’m sorry who the heck is drinking coal??” “It’s heroin.”

-“Is climate change good or bad?”

-“I’ve had to keep her from stealing my toes for so long”

-“Apples are delicious, babies are not.”

-“It’s like I’m exfoliating my knuckle”

-“We are literally just birds.”

-“I’m slowly transitioning to emo. Today I’m wearing navy blue, tomorrow it will be black.”

-“Omg Aimee why are you such a try hard” “Oh my god Ava why are you orange?”

-“Wait what the fuck does crashing a funeral have to do with driving?”

-“Why are blonde people driving???”

-“That house looks like stephen king” “its super thicc?”

-“If you don’t do your homework, they are legally allowed to steal your cells”

-“Why would digging up graves be a problem we have to cover during a spa day??”

-“I would commit neck rape”

-“he looked at me and I looked at him and I was like ‘genocide’”

-“like Klaus, from Klaus”

-“SANKADANKA”

-“facism is also gender neutral”

-“I mean we all knew that the birds just wanted the body to be gone!”

JUNIOR

-“you know what they say in chemistry”

-“I got it from bed bath and behind you”

-“A two line poem. I see a frog. My heart: 💕❤️💓💗💕”

-“who needs a straw when you can suck it out the hole?”

-“I wish I could get neutered”

-“eggs are so well named”

-“You’re not a fandon? We don’t standon.”

-“If you’re horny just walk it off”

-“potatoes and molasses, there is inequality between the classes!”

-“save the tiddies”

-“I think I could explain socialism” “okay do it” *doesnt do it*

-“what part of no interruptions does Trump not get?” “The english part”

-“my knees how they crackle like rice crispies”

-“the planet is dying you fucking walnut”

-“do you think I’d be able to avoid conversion therapy?” ”no you look dumb as shit have fun at camp.”

-“the US military uses 738 billion dollars per year, and we can’t dunk the moon into the pacific ocean? Where are our priorities? Disgusting.”

-“I hope he dies on my birthday”

-“the doctor’s sewing you up and you’re like ‘harder daddy’ and they just leave you to bleed out on the floor.”

-“I don’t know what your parents do for a living” “I’d have to kill you if you found out” “oh he’s a conversion therapist?”

-“Peaning, pregnancy, protection.”

-“Being railed and math are two totally different things”

-“Aren’t all white people just german strokes?“

-“the pickles are tasty tonight, don’t you think?”

-"Gay people have feelings too! I mean those feelings aren't valid, but they have them!"

-“Grapefruit is the Wild Kratts of roblox”

-“My lungs are rejecting christianity”

-“Lettuce cereal”

-“get zooted”

-“why are they doin that to my boi Eric Snowblower???” “... do you mean Elric Stormbringer??” “Yes OMG hi futon”

-“Milk towel (sent with gentle effect)“

-“nose haemorrhoids”

-“my favourite colour is bitches”

-“THE LESBIAN FISH WHATS HER NAME”

-“You’ll have time to pull moose daddy”

-“The more you beat it the bigger it gets”

-“Were you wa today??”

-“oh uh slaves are now horses”

-“tarnsgender is a lifestyle”

-“not me misgendering my dishwasher”

-“Kiss! Kiss Kiss!”

-“its a regular human but you can open it up and take a shit inside of it” “like a kangaroo”

-“kiss kill marry, good piss boy, eric snowblower, michael”

-“if you don’t wanna strike the set, strike yourself.”

-“did you listen to waterparks in middle school or have you had sex?”

-“he said his pullout game is strong and he’s only used a condom six times” “tell him he needs the practice”

-“its a didney movie”

-“I already have a dick so I’m good with the foot sucking, thanks!”

-“I don’t misgender you cause you changed your pronouns I just misgender you cause you have pronouns”

-“made a joke and nobody laughed”

-“You’re a socialist gray shut up”

-“dont straddle my dog shes a child!”

-“chloe, kim, kendall, kourtney,,, the genders”

-“which constellation looks most like a dick”

-“I’m being intimate with my pudding. Only my pudding loves me.” “Yeah but it feels a little violated”

-“vending machine, easy bake oven, and ramen are the four food groups?”

-“mom I found your tinder”

-“doesnt this baby look like it would grow up to be hitler?”

-“anti smack”

-“I said no farting”

-“I’m at the point in this trip where I want to make out a little with every dog I see.”

-“I’m worried about your mom right now” “I’m worried about the dogs”

-“I’m going to start streaming” “awesome I’ll watch you! I’ll download Tinder”

-“jesus is coming are you clenching?” “Did you mean swallowing???”

-“Today when I said I had an image to show you and you came to look at my phone I wasn’t on Instagram yet and I was worried you were going to see that my last google search was what is a craisin”

-“My username is deep_seated_fear_of_geese”

-“Savour the flavour, uncle”

-“potential energy this, kinetic energy that, when will anyone start paying attention to the most important energy. dumb bitch energy”

-“Happy easter i guess i don’t know why the heck jesus likes eggs so much” “Jesus has an egg obsession” “And he has a bunny fursona””

-“Cause I’m kinky for color coding”

-“I’m going to name my child Brad. With a silent gh. Braghd”

-“Headcanon that Prince Philip died because he saw unsolicited feet pics“

-“I kin prince philip”

-“theres three genders: kailer, gay tyler, and regular tyler”

-“I swear to god they spent half of their budget making those titans asses so scrumptious”

-“Everything is terrible, can’t magnum dong, repressing my emotions”

-“Master has given dobby plan b. Dobby no longer needs the hanger”

-“I want someone to be just as obsessed with me as my social worker is”

-“You wanted to end the conversation so you decided to be homophobic.”

-“It is commonly thought that there are two types of people in this world, communists and pessimists.”

-“Glass half full glass half empty everyone shares the glass”

-“I thought it was about to be something sexual about slushees and I was like: 😃?“

-“Piss on, I know how to have sex.”

-“Sarah we’re making milf jokes wake up”

-“Its like im having a panic attack but I cant stop making kink jokes”

-“good old fashioned jesus?” “I said gay sex”

-“the straggot and the slurs”

-“grandpa has had way too much time without his meds”

-“You’re gonna find ur special someone bro ❤️ or someone to raw you idk what you’re into”

-“Do you wanna represent conversion therapy?”

-“Don’t punch me! I’ll get a boner”

-“I’m known to frequent elementary schools at night”

-“ever since I found out there were ants in baked beans” “WHY ARE THEY THERE? JUST BAKE THE BEANS!”

-"aaron burr shot hamilton which is kinda kinky and im not into that" "i guess he forgot to give him his safe word then huh"

-“we can’t make these jokes tomorrow people will think we’re fucking crazy” “nah man people will just think we’re FUCKING”

-“this 14 year old just looked me straight in the eyes and said drill me daddy-o”

-“they piss on you when they’re comfortable with you. Thats how it works”

-“are penguins fish or mammals?”

-“car washes are traumatising”

-“it’s okay gray has a 22 year old sugar daddy”

-“I get vored easily and yeehaw”

-“You get really stinky when jade honks for bill”

-“Jade needs a shit sleeve when she honks for bill can we go dunky now”

-“not the llama,,, the liQuid”

-“I’m allergic to jesus”

-“if you cant see stuff in your head how come you can vacuum?”

-“dont be a whore drink instead”

-“pain is temporary, existence is temporary, we’re all temporary”

-“I did not know veggie tales was religious”

-“you’re a sussy baka yes sorry now can we watch the video”

-“I assumed everyone in tech is gray”

-“skyrim wasn’t bad I just wanted fussy”

-“im not gonna get a shrodinger kink”

-“those crocs are bitchin”

-“you seem so put together” “it’s just the shoes”

-“capitalism is my sugar daddy”

-“when aang is riding someone do you think he says yip yip

-“Capitalism breeds innovation? How bout you breed this bussy”

Senior

-“Ollie: Can Jewish people eat the Lorax?

Jillian: Yeah. He is canonically a Nazi you know

Ollie: …Are you implying that nazis are kosher?

Jillian: Yeah how do you think we won the war dumbass”

-“I wanna get manhandled”

-“chryssy is SO thicc. Thats why benson loves her.”

-“are we still meeting autism?”

-“so what im hearing is you stole my prostate??”

-"Benson doesnt have a liver? What about her alcoholism problems!”

-“do [squirrels] have beaks or are they flat?”

-“ I feel like I’d fall into a pond.”

-“I didn’t come”

-“Cis piss”

-“YOU GRABBED HIS JICK?”

-“Everytime I come out as ace people send me all their ace stuff” “omg thats what I do for my italian friends”

-“I wanna be someones thyroid problem”

-“Yeah you could go to bobby about your skin cancer”

-“I feel really pregnant right now”

-“stomachs love diluted slim jims”

-“benson is a milf”

-“aj just gave birth to me” “how?” “teamwork”

-“the universe is nothing but a collection of corpses”

-“tight shaggy”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk moustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“the moonwalking bear will come back to haunt you”

-“You forgot your jizz in the shop”

-“Please be a monster fucker”

-“Wipe the milk mustache off your face because I can’t talk to you”

-“Mr. Hands is my safe-word”

Freshman pt 2

-“nah this isn’t true love this is smash or pass man”

-“the more swords the more smash”

-“virgin??? Like VIRGINIA??”

-“He’s really going ham on him”

[foone]

I want to see wizards snarking at each other over different magical languages/scripts, the same way programmers do it over different languages.

Sure, "High Tower is a powerful language, but it's such a pain to write. I just use Unity* as it's simple to write and can do nearly everything I need" "cranky because you can't memorize all the conjugations and declensions, aren't you?" "LOOK MAN, I CAN MEMORIZE ANYTHING, INCLUDING THE FACE OF YOUR MOTHER IN ECSTASY. IN FACT, BEHOLD!" *a little time window appears between them, demonstrating exactly that. The first wizard (seen through the window) turns around and winks at the "camera".

"you kids today with your lizardman. How can you get anything done in a language without gendered pronouns? It's like fingerpainting. Sure you can learn on it but once you've got the basics you should switch over to a REAL language"

"the Kalic have been here already. We better get out before the rest of their army marches in." "how can you be sure?" "you see that teleport?" "no" "well, if you COULD see it, you'd see it's written in Adevic Yevi. That's the Kalic magic language." "couldn't it be someone else? We saw those Monon traders, maybe one of them..." "no. No one writes Adevic Yevi unless they're being paid to. It's a language written by committee."

Wizards going on a quest to get the spellbooks for a lost spell, only to find out that it was written in skydove cant. No one can read that shit! The creator must have been one of those weird "functional wizards". (They're obsessed with making sure their spells have no side effects)

There's a small library on the outskirts of Freeport which tries to collect versions of basic spells in every language. The Adevic Yevi version of "fireball" takes up 7 pages, mostly boilerplate setting up the interfaces with fire and explosions and ExplodingMagicalBallFactorySingletons. The Lizardman version is basically "AHAHAHA, YOU GO BOOM!"

There's a bunch of wizard apprentices working on porting an old "Summon Bread and Fishes" spell from the absolutely archaic language it was written in. Once it's in Unity, it'll be easy to modify and teach to more wizards, which'll obviously be good for disaster areas. It's just too expensive to keep paying the ancient guys who can still do magic in TRAN-FOR.

Eccentric wizards keep inventing new languages for spells. You look at them and they're neat, but it'll never catch on. And either you're right, or the next time you're applying to be a court wizard, the advisors want to know if you have at least 5 years experience in Tilted Runic and you're like "it only came out 2 years ago!" "aren't you a chronomancer?" "oh good point. Yeah I've been using it for 20-30 years."

There's wizards who will spend incredible amounts of time doing silly things with spells in strange ways. There's this guy (Vorth) who made his own language where there's only one basic spell: fireball. Everything else is basic magic glue tying multiple fireballs together. So like, he's got a breakfast spell. Stand back (good advice for all his spells), and you'll see a fish get knocked out of the local pond, flung through the air by successive explosions, and eventually it lands on his plate, nicely cooked and deboned, if slightly charred (the glass of milk is harder to explain). His magical door locks involve a quicksilver sphere and molten lead changing shape when heated... It's tricky but it seems to work. He's working on a teleport spell, but so far it's mainly just killed test subjects (primarily sheep from a nearby farm).

* so the funny thing here is that this isn't a reference to the unity game engine. The main country in my One Hundred and One Magical Pistols setting is called "the union" and their language is called "unity".

I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.

A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.

The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.

The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.

A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.

A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.

Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.

Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.

Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".