#i cant even stomach it actually
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its never a surprise when spn places women into mother/daughter/sister categories without a second thought but i fully cannot accept the jody mills mother agenda when it came to sam and dean
#i cant even stomach it actually#every time she gets a little nurturing towards the winchesters i have to close out of the tab
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not to be an insane girl but dragon age is literally part of who i am as a person and it is such a weird feeling to know that its ended. and on such an unsatisfying note.
#there is nothing greed will not suffocate and consume in the giant black hole that is its stomach#its mostly the dissatisfaction that strikes me. like a bad piano key that wont ever be fixed.#veilguard was an utter disappointment and that is how this franchise i have adored for over 10 years will end#there were aspects i did enjoy but they were not enough to outweigh the negatives. i still have not finished an entire playthrough#because it is just...boring. exhausting to play. it feels shallow and lifeless.#and to know that this is the last ill ever see?#i dont get to know what happens to my warden. to alistair. to zevran and leliana and sten and shale and bodahn and sandal#rica little endrin fenris aveline the iron bull cole sera vivienne cassandra blackwall#hawke is still stuck in the fade. maybe dead. maybe not. we'll never know.#i feel like something was taken from me in a way. these stories that ill never see the sun set on. the stories i actually cared about.#idk. ill always love dragon age. but where do you even go from here.#maybe it was time. im 25 and cant be obsessed with something like this forever i guess. gotta grow up sometime#but my heart really is so broken.
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[SPOILERS] ⚠️ SOMEBODY CALL AN AMBULANCE BECAUSE NO WAYYYYYYYY
NO WAYYYYY HE ACTUALLY DID ITTTTT.


NO AMOUNT OF SCREAMING CAN DESCRIBE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW. AARRRRRRRRHH.
...MIKUNI WHEN I CATCH YOU MIKUNI.
...
That aside, kiriko is backkkkkkkkkkkk. She looks even sweeter than ever. You know, every time she's on the screen, i wonder how anyone can cheat on that woman. LOOK AT HER SMILE.

SHE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER.
Uuuuooorrrgghhhhhhhh
Anyway....
...back to screaming on the floor.

BECAUSE NICCOLO IS DEAD???? I MEAN HE'S IN THE MAFIA BUT CMOOOOONNNNNNNNN. Im curious if it was someone that killed him or if in this timeline the Russian roulette went wrong. Lmfao. Im so sorry to all the fans.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
Arghhh
I've changed my mind. An ambulance is NOT enough.
Because tell me why Tanaka thought it was okay to show us Jeje attempting to protect this world Mikuni created. Despite it being a world where he no longer is in Mikuni's life. That was actually my last straw. goodbye.
#what do i even say#servamp#servamp manga#mikuni alicein#kiriko alicein#servamp jeje#im actually aick to my stomach#there is so much more to say about this chapter but i cant do this anymore
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hey fellas is it gay if the friend you’ve been having Feelings of the ???? Kind says to you, “my wife is soft and i like her”. the wife in referral is me because i joked about me being her wife 2s before she said that.
#i think abt her and feel like i’m going to explode#OH AND THIS HAPPENED LIKE A WEEK AGO AND I CANT STOP THINKING ABOJT IT#it’s a very peculiar feeling#i enjoy it very much actually#it feels very safe and secure and i would be really sad if she said this stuff to everyone but im#also content with the way we are now#like us now and maybe . knowing it is exclusive . and maybe kisses/some other stuff …. would be good……..#im trying not to categorize as romantic or platonic or even alterous and just letting it be#but yeah#i feel the wiggling in my stomach but it’s not anxiety it’s . soft . and thrilling .#AHHHH#admin post#my stories ❣️
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no like you Don't get it this is so fucking serious to me like genuinely there are tears in my eyes rn look at his fuckign hands the way hes holding onto her so tightly and his smile like im actually gonna walk into oncoming traffic this is too much for me
#🌃 : june.txt#baby fever is SO FUKCIGN BAD#i havent even seen the 2nd episode yet ive only seen the 1st#its gonna take like 10 business days for me to build up the strength to even open youtube like i just cant do it im so insane#im mentally ill. sick in the head#sick 2 my stomach about to burst into tears#i am so distraught rn like literally genuinely actually
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I'm literally going to vote Biden and believe that USAmericans who can vote should vote Biden but posts that r like "you HAVE to vote Biden otherwise you're EVIL IRREDEEMABLE SCUM*" r so fucking annoying it makes me want to NOT vote out of spite. Shut up lol
(*I'm exaggerating for comedic effect but also. Not that much)
#my take is that if you are not an activist and if you arent actually doing anything to make the world more liveable -#- then u do have a moral responsibility to vote at least kind of#voting isnt activism but not voting is ESPECIALLY not activism#but like. if someone who is pouring themselves into changing the social political economic system cant stomach voting biden#i rlly cant fault them for that#and even people who arent activists like ill judge you but also i do understand the feeling of hopelessness#bc things fucking suck even under biden!!!
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god im such a horrible person
#girls (gn) idk how much longer i can try to ignore the pit in my stomach and my chest aching#i can yell at myself all i want for all i care but it actually starts being painful when that shit starts affecting my body#h i does anyone know how to feel. normally ive been in survival mode for so long#i cant even sleep
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I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism
#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty#can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both#but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you#why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she#franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest#omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah#i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao#sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust....#zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even#nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly#that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn.#also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even#also what is absalom doing there....#and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it#sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl....#also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess.#omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats#franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant#omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT???#luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia#this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn#also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row#the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming#i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞#the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually#tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn#still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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Feel extremely disheartened today. Still cannot believe this is happening
#now more than ever we have to stay together and tey to get involved in other ways#no but to be sad for a second#im so sad and scared and nervous and feel awful about this all#this is going to harm so many people#trump is just so awful injust understand how he could win#people arent going to survive this#america is not going to thrive#i iust cant believe the 3 branches are all going to be majority repub now#this is just so heartbreaking#ik the 20mil votes are something i just hope things are bejng looked into#i fear for women and all the of people of color and literally pretty much every minority in this country#im just so sorry about what is going to happen#this is just so bad#I genuinely feel sick to my stomach#just by dealing with stuff with healthcare and lgbtq policy alone I I cannot even imagine how rough this is going to get#It was hard before and now I feel it's going to be damn near impossible but regardless we have to keep trying#I don't know I really don't know just check in on people you know or don't know#I found people are way more willing to actually be vulnerable today because this is such a world altering decision#rambles
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#GAGGGEDDDDDD#yay omg yay:)#guys i am going to die#oct 27 2024#no cosnlike. in dreams or whatever WHATEVER#sick to my stomach i've literally been hallucinating delusional etc#u don't understand i'm going to die#LIKE FAVORITE PERSON EVER SORRY#the way i cross my sevens and z's and don't leave a space for the smiley face :|#hope she never knows how obsessedddd :)#oct 28 2024#:| idk it's the only thing keeping me going but also i survived six months#oct 29 2024#giggling twirling my hair kicking my heels looking at my phone get a grip...#. no bc my brain#i am having a terrible day but i love her#being delusional works!#i am SO EXCITED lutkkenekenfksnfn i am so excited i've missed her so much#actually soooo sick and twisted the way my irl ummm what do you call... emotional support older white women are actually the best huggers in#the world like it's not my fault#lik i don't i don't i do not i donut even care !#no thoughts head empty#stoppp cos like building it up in my head based on the past etc etc ...... but it always lives up 2 it & more!#oct 30 2024#cointinuing to be insane 🙏#idk there is something so tender ............#waaaah ok waaaaaaaaaaah i cant#just want to go HOME#want to swim in prelude 4ever#girl who is so so tired and just wants it to be 7:30 east
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i may have become a slendrina fan overnight.
girls in my brain currently:
anya
naru
slendrina
totoko
osoko
my gf
???
anya again
#woah ! the bunny talks !#i watched literally one video essay on her game series and i was like#''omg.... silly thang. i like her a lot.''#slendrina you will always be famous to me tbh.#youd think i wouldnt like her bc i have a weird thing about distorted faces (cant stomach them) but#shes so low-poly (i love low-poly stuff) that i just cant really be scared#now. in an actual game? yeah id be scared. but thats kinda the point#rotating them all in my brain.#what do they even have in common. other than being women.#hrm... idk.
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Groin cramps are the worst. Feels like my body is like "Yeah yeah upper abdominal lower abdominal cramps, whatever. We really gotta focus on this area tho"
Like
Holy fuck
Thank the gods for heating pads
#jen talks#honestly im just complaining cause im sore and cranky#also its an experience i feel like i cant talk about all to much without making people uncomfortable#its such a new (relatively speaking) experience and its unpleasant and validating at the same time#and like boy howdy have mine gone hard#like ive spoken with some friends and it seems like the course im gonna take is to find out if ive got any extra bits#like theres a solid chance im intersex#just given everything from my childhood and how fucking painful my cramps are#but like when i was younger i thought i had “gas”#it usually only lasted like 3-4 days max but it happensd regularly for a long time#it was just something i had gotten used to and didnt think much of#my diet was trashy enough so it made sense to have some stomach issues#but then flash forward to now#what i have identified as period cramps as of last year#which up until i found out that trans girls can get periods. i wasnt aware of what it actually was#and the weird part is. asside from the intensity of the cramps#i remember this feeling#when i was younger and i got this pain#sometimes it was so ungodly that id end up vomiting and then passing out#but like it also got to the point sometimes where i couldnt even stand up straight#and given that perspective on what im experiencing NOW it kinda makes a lot of sense
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Just ate plain rice for my lunch that lasted nearly 3 hours cuz I was struggling to finish it all. It was meant to be accompanied with a canned tuna but it was That flavour from like-- a month ago or so, it was the flavour that I REALLY don't like, I may be endurance georgs but I don't wanna endure that thing again orz...
#aria rants#it was good enough to eat for the first time back then but trying to eat it again today is just augh... i rlly cant stomach it anymore#i alrdy told my mom that i dont like it back then so i have no idea why she even bothered opening it up today. like yea sure its#the last can of it but still o<-< ouuorrrggghhhh... eating even just plain rice took all the energy outta me. i feel like im in the border#of feeling nauseous and not feeling nauseous its somehow a worst feeling than actual nausea goddammit.
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came home to discover my roomate but A DIRTY DISH *INSIDE* my pot of soup i had turned down to low to finish cooking while i ran to the bank.
just lost an entire box of veg stock, 5 potatoes, and a cup of lentils because shes so fucking outrageously retarded.
#my other roommatee was like 'youree gonna waste all those potatoes now' bc he is also an idiot like her#like. yes. i absolutly am not going to risk getting sick with MY SENSITIVE STOMACH bc she was a fucking idiot who cant stop herself#from meddling with shit that does not need to be meddled with at all.#literally had been cookingthat curry for two hours.#it was down to the perfect consistency and everything.#it's almost 7pm and all i ate today was 7 cherries at lunch.#i wont be eating for another half hour at least.#and the curry will bee shit at that point bc it's barely even cooked let alone curried.#actually cried#im so fucking mad#i hate it here
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if i had the mental capacity to handle angst at the moment yall ,,, this blog would be so sad LMAO
#i just. cant even think about angst rn#actually is angst the right word#drama?? no thats further away#i saw a post about how the mindscape would react to the presence of depression#and i had to nope out it was getting too sad#now my stomach feels weird and i wanna… escape#am i spiralling ???????#whats the word im looking for#its deeper than angst#idk#i feel like idris in that one episode in doctor who#hi im a fucking nerd KSJDJFKF
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shavuot day 1 debrief
so this was like day 3 of realizing that even if you wake up at 8:30am it doesn't mean youre actually going to get out of bed at 8:30am. I need to get better at that. but I finally got up at like 11 and started getting ready. when I went out to check on the rest of my family I saw that my mom and my brother were both wearing navy. I asked if I should go change and they both said no, but then my dad also put on a navy shirt and I was like "ok now I have to go change" and so I changed into a navy shirt. then we walked to the place where we were having lunch (a friend's house) and I infodumped about linguistics the whole time to my mom :p we ran into some family friends on the way who are also working at the camp im working at so I said I'd see them on friday :) when we got to the place I remembered that there were literally going to be 100 guests. legitimately 100 people. this family is notorious for large gatherings but I think this is their biggest one yet. now, on Saturday I was at another friend's house who had asked me to sit with her so she didn't have to be alone sitting with people she hated. I at first sat with my parents bc I didn't see her but she caught my eye and basically mouthed "save me" and so I came over. but then once everyone got food (it was buffet style) there was nowhere for me to sit, and someone had already taken my old seat, so I was relegated to the end of the table. it wasn't so bad though bc I ended up talking to my friends older sister and some of her friends about who's getting married and who's having kids and everyone's love life (it literally felt like a scene from a tv show or a book it was kind of surreal). in the middle of that my friend who had originally asked me to sit with her got up and left with a bunch of other people (but I like gossip so it's fine 🤭). eventually I got up and found my parents again and just stood next to them while they talked to their friends. then I got to hold a baby :3 and then it was time for dessert. now it is a 4 year long time honored tradition at this house to do a cheesecake contest on shavuot, and it keeps getting better every year. last year they had a plate for every family with 1 slice of every cheesecake; but this year they had a big platter for every family with a cup of every cheesecake so it was less messy and more accessible to read. my dad and I voted for cheesecake #14 and my mom voted for cheesecake #1 (my brother didn't vote because he doesn't like cheesecake :p). in the end last year's winner came in second, and the wife of the house won the contest (it was cheesecake #1. it was so basic. #14 was at least butterscotch flavored). my future coworker stopped by again to say hi to everyone, and then my family headed home :) I talked to my mom about these two guys I don't like the entire way home XD and now I'm debriefing before I shower because I am so sweaty 😩 time to do it all again tomorrow 😄
#surprisingly my stomach doesnt feel that bad after all that dairy#but to be fair i didnt have a lot of actual cheese mostly tuna and beyond beef#i think itll be worse tomorrow#the funny thing is im not even seeing anyone new tomorrow#im seeing two families that were at the lunch today#the host family and another family#things could turn nasty tomorrow so stay tuned#(thats kinda why im doing a debrief)#also people keep asking me or talking about i/p regarding schools and i just really dont want to#luckily theres always so much other drama to talk about that its easy enough to steer clear#but yeah cant wait to debrief tomorrow#and then it's off to camp :)#debrief
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