#i cant be coherent at times like these so im happy to read those who can | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

carmenized-onions · 4 months ago

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as soon as i read the word ‘amish’ i physically recoiled because i just knew you would mess with my mental stability this chapter!

ignore how much of a shambles this is, i start off coherent but end up just making incomprehensible statements so don’t worry if you need help translating! i just wanted to make sure i gave you an idea of HOW FUCKING GOOD THIS WAS

i love the way you wrote this interaction, like i feel like it’s perfectly both average and extraordinary if that makes sense - which perfectly sets up what mikey and chips friendship was omg you are too good

of course he won’t let you have peace that’s literally a member of the berzatto family they haven’t known a moment of peace in their lives

MIKEYS ALWAYS SEEN YOU and fixer friend combo is insane don’t play with me

love me some divorce era richie angst

i’ve never heard the word jamoke before i had to google it is that so british of me

“you’re not gonna remember that” oh sweetie you will remember richie because i will make you remember

they are my fav comedic duo #guarddog vibes

a moment for the pork sandwich, and the yoink

i don’t want to go back to a time where mikey wasn’t there after reading this first section, like it’s too much

wait you giving me carmens pov of his worst friday ever is enough for me to slightly forgive you for mikey tb

random but i want to know what chips handwriting looks like - i know it’s a reader x carmy book but she’s basically an oc in my head now

no way chip is a youngest child wtf

no one gets being the guy like mikey and chip i fear

she keeps kid band aids in her wallet oh yes

YOU FUCKING TELL HIM carmy (im still mad at you btw)

her being mikeys sponsor i can’t i really cant do it

she quit being an emt for him

this is almost as painful as hearing him call her a failure

“im not a fucking patient chip” - oh you berzattos when you feel vulnerable

jazz hands away the awkwardness so real

never assume they are together ever ever

chip will not listen to people calling addicted junkies ever

the whimsy is gone

no.

get him syd go for the jugular

they’re multiplying DONT MAKE ME LAUGH NINE FAKS

eva’s richie she’s a little richie “insane uncle”

no … not the funeral … NOOOOO

she is a patoot!!!! she really is!!!!

performance anxiety… girl that’s your brother

it’s still michael’s office

richie the book nerd era

i took no notes after this as i was too upset!!! i’m sorry all i can say is it’s ur fault for being too good

IT’S THE FINAL ASK BEFORE WE UPLOAD NEXT CHAP BABY LETS FUCKING GO I DID IT I DID IT IN A NIGHT I’M GONNA BUY MYSELF LUNCH IN THE MORNING CAUSE I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE ONE TONIGHT LMAO who wants to donate to my ko-fi kidding kidding kidding

I WAS SOOOO HOPING FOR THAT RECOIL. What I love about the “what are you amish” is that I don’t know if everyone remembered— But that story chip told was so specific and so immediately upon seeing amish which has only been used one other time, it IMMEDIATELY TRANSPORTS YOU AND I LOVE THAT.

Thank you thank you thank you— Any thoughts are good thoughts and you’ve always sent the most wonderful analysis’ so to see you rendered kind of speechless really is a genuine tremendous honour so thank you I do appreciate i DO!

I absolutely wanted that like perfectly average yet extraordinary meeting— It’s like Tina and Mikey meeting to me— Or even honestly like, us as viewers meeting Mikey for the first time in his first scenes he actually speaks in— Those were genuinely so magical to me. It was like getting to meet the fucking wizard. Or the ghost that haunts us. Two things can be true.

This family doesn’t know the WORD peace, they know the word piece. Like pieces? Is that what you ordered? Torn to pieces u say? FIXER FRIEENNDDDD!! I can’t believe Jamoke hadn’t made it across the pond until now. Happy to educate. Had to look up if Jamoke is used in chicago— A solid 5 articles came up so I think I’m good.

Genuinely while writing everytime I had to switch I was like MOM DONT MAKE ME GO OVER THERE I HATE IT THERE!!! And then I’d get stuck in and have a lot of fun, and then I’d have to switch back, and the cycle would repeat.

Ahhh Chip’s handwriting. What would it look like? I feel like it’s gotta be either really neat like wrote the most insane school notes in college with mildliners and everything or it’s literally fucking incoherent. Maybe both. When she’s got time it’s the first, when she doesn’t, it’s the second.

I WILL NOT TAKE YOUNGEST CHILD SLANDER ITS MY TURN ON THE XBOX I GET TO CHOOSE THE SIBLING DYNAMIC REPRESENTATION!!!! No one’s gonna ever get being the Guy like Chip and Mikey (and her child bandaids)

I should clarify also— Did Mikey’s OD act as the final nail in the coffin of quitting? A million times yes. Does Mikey think she abandoned the career for him? A million times yes. But she really WAS considering quitting already— SHE GETS TO MAKE THE CALL OF WHAT SHE BETS ON MIKEY YOU FUCKER !!!!

Berzattos when anyone tries to take care of them in any way: Oh so you think i’m fucking crazy? You think I need to be put in a ward? I’m going to prove you wrong by going ape shit right now.

Chip gets so defensive over Carmen sayin’ junkie ESPECIALLY because Mikey said it about himself!! To hear the brother that Mikey loved so much say that shit OH her blood was boiling. Jazz hands the pain away. Sydney get his ass.

Faks are multiplying, Richie is multiplying with a little Eva— PEOPLE GET PERFORMANCE ANXIETY OVER A LOT OF THINGS— I GET PERFORMANCE ANXIETY WHEN I MAKE TUMBLR POSTS OKAY

I don’t honestly remember if I intentionally wrote it being ‘he goes back to Michael’s office’. I hope i did that intentionally because it’s fucking gutting. I also did forget they redid the office in S2— Which like. Why. Why are we spending any of the budget on anything not required. I dont. Gettit. Regardless, in CK, it’s absolutely the old shitty S1 office and i have NO intention of changing that.

Thank you for these thoughts i would spend so much longer thanking you but we have to get thIS FUCKING CHAPTER OUT BECAUSE I WANT TO REREAD IT BEFORE BED THERES NO TIME I LOVE YOU LOVE YOU NEW CHAPTER IN LIKE 10 MINUTES OKAY PROBABLY LESS

#thefreakingbear #yapping #ask #extensive yapping #two steps back

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imaginespazzi · 5 months ago

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And we're back Bestie! Thanks for the patience while I recovered & got caught up w life.. I figured there wasnt much sense in providing a semi-coherent ask ha.

Ok so: First, it will make sense after reading but I so wish I could provide some pics for you via anon..

Went to the Sunday game. I didnt even ask to know in advance, but by chance the group/person that took responsibility for tickets to the game got seats a handful of rows up from behind the Dallas bench. I was just in disbelief w that given our jokes on the blog here. Our dear Lou is just so damn cute in person. And by every indication from that afternoon, an incredible teammate. Shes constantly supportive, super engaged, and you can tell things will come together for her before long on the court. Her being such a lovely professional didnt help lessen any appeal! 😣 Anywhooo it would be generous to say shot my shot Im afraid - but as luck would have it, there was a moment where she did a little happy dance spin around to the crowd when celebrating a teammates made 3 pointer (they led at this time) and ended up having genuine eye contact and a small smile back with me. So guess we can say there remains some small hope afloat for LouTea? Or at least argue that it wasnt an absolute failure by me on your behalf lol! My shy, yet somehow also overly confident self (maybe a certain attitude tends to come w being 5'2"?) will take it 🙈

So sitting where we did, actually found ourselves not far from Jacy Sheldons family who were at the game! Seemed nice, pretty quiet during the action. As a College WBB follower that was just kinda wild to me. And there was one other woman (maybe one more in the group) seemingly around Jacy's age w the fam in a custom top w her name, but I didnt recognize at a quick look. Dont think they were former teammate(s) though, so curious who they mightve been? Dont know much about JS off the court. Last but not least, a little down from me, I kid you not there was a woman wearing a VT Kitley jersey. I could only die laughing internally to myself, thinking of sharing this later. Not the most implausible place/location to see one tbf, but we honestly cant escape the OG lore!

Anyways the event was a great time all around. Highly recommend a WNBA game to anyone ofc. I was happy to see a Mystics win (and an interesting game) since Im usually bad luck for my/home pro teams in person.

Actually P.S. Li has such a cool vibe! Very sad to not get to watch her play but gives a fun, animated energy from the bench, to her credit. Easy to see why shes so well liked. And I dont know if you happened to see Shakira Austin that day, but holy hell. She is so tall and so stunning it blows the mind in real life. And while Kira is actually single (perhaps a nice fyi for some of you), I should be clear, Lou doesnt need to worry at all about competition. Theres no way little, sweet me would ever dare to handle a 6'5" woman with such a crazy side 😅 said with complete and total affection for her

Ok I should stop. 🫶

-☕️

Ahh unfortunately you can't send pic on anon. You can dm them to me if you'd like but it's totally fair if you wanna just stay an anon, I'mma just imagine the pics!

DAMN bestie I'm jealous of those seats but I'm so happy for you and so happy you got to see Lou so close! Awww I knew Lou was a sweetheart but I love hearing that for you. OMG DO I SENSE A MEET CUTE? She was dancing and then your eyes met? Personally I think that's a sign! I'M STARTING BRIDESMAIDS DRESS SHOPPING! You know what babes, I think you did great, just means you needa go to another game of hers and shoot another shot! Also hi twinnnn, I'm also barely 5'2 lol

I LOVE JACY! And her relationship with her sister is so sweet so that's so nice you saw her family! That's inchrestingggg info. I guess it could be a cousin but hmmm?

LMAO ofc there was something VT/Kitley related there, of course

Glad you got to see a W! And Li sounds amazing, I hope you get to see her play eventually too. Ooooh I bet Kira was stunning in person like I find her so freaking gorgeous so this totally checks out.

#ask #☕️ my love <3 #I'm so glad you had such a good time babes <3

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sillyflipping · 1 year ago

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DXM 180mg hbr + weed trip report

8:10 PM: packed a bowl and smoked it. around this time, also hit the pen a few times, and a couple hits of nic vape

10:30 PM: Took 180mg DXM hbr in the form of 12 gelcaps, 15mg each. They were a generic store pharmacy brand of gelcaps, but I made sure to get the kind that contained only dxm and no other active ingredients. If you’re going to do dxm, don’t do it if there’s acetamenophin or guafinesin in whatever you’re taking because it can actually kill you, and it is not pleasant to OD on acetamenophin. Before taking the dxm I took one pill of otc dramamine to combat any nausea. The amount I took should get me to a high first plat, *maybe* a low second plat, or at least so says the dosage calculators. I’ve not done much Hbr in my past, I usually used to do freebase pills and occasionally poli (Delysm). I hadn’t done dxm in over a year now, I know it caused me a bunch of problems in my past, but for some reason lately this past week I’d just been craving it for some reason. Honestly in the past few days I’d just been fiending to get fucked up. And now, I’ve finally done it, i’ve taken my first-second plat dose and I’m waiting for it to kick in. I will try and update every hour. Also note I’ve never combined dxm and weed before, so will see if it’s any different. Also If I end up falling asleep will continue to update in the morning or whenever I wake up.

11:30 PM: Don’t notice any signifigant effects. Bit of a headache. Am lying in bed was watching some youtube videos.

12:00 AM head pounding a bit but it’s not intese pain. Just kind of a headache a bit dizzy/disoreinted bit spinny rooms spinny

12:40 AM head hurts, dizzy. This isn’t like the previous times i’ve done dxm, it’s not kickin in as hard, though to be fair I used to do freebase at higher doses and at that time I was also on abilify and lithium. Gonna try and lie down close my eyes cuz my head hurts

3am: wakw up tripping can barely type tbis. CEV’s and body heavy, dizzy visual snow room spinning. mild nausea. Feel like am on low second plat Obviously no ones awake cuz its 3am and idk

3:22 AM: I realize i mustve slept thru the peak of the trip as it’s 3am. I don’t mnow if i ever slept or if ive just been laying here in my own head my thoughts are blunted and despite the dozziness nausea and weird statitc snow visuals, it’s working to makw me not fee emotions. still tripping. hard to type

I cant belive i used to be such a dexhead that id go places like id go grocery shopping w frens back in college while off the dxm. Cant belsiwv it. This shit sucks theres way better drugs oit there this aint it

Dont really feel that cold but am shaking shivering

4am: texted a friend who was up at this hour, probably not about anytning super important. im still in the dextroverse but i think maybe im slowly comin down. There’s still visual snow and a jelly-like state about the air and atmosphere around me. I took like a 2nd plat dose and I’ll edit this trip report for more coherency and grammar once am sober

Dxm is bad trips not mentally. Mentally its pretty good but the body high is awful. Dizy and nausea spinning

4:23am: read some online calvin and hobbes comics. i never read those as a kid before but i feel like i can really understand them better somehow while trippin

4:43am: The comedown is the best part, honestly.

5AM: Still tripping, coming down. Compared to the overwhelming love and joy of a (good) mushroom trip, and compared to the depression and lonelieness i feel in my daily life, this is kinda true neutral. i feel nothing, numb. slighly optimistic tho. dont feel depressed atm. dont feel happy either.

5:40 AM: slowwwlllyyyyyy coming down. i try eating a couple spicy chips (carolina realer cheeto) to see if i can still taste, as sense of taste is often greatly diminished on dxm. The cheetos taste bland, and i feel the heat of the spice but no flavor. Sad.

6AM: less dizzy. head hurts less but still barely hurts a little bit just mildly annoying. The room stopped spinning. Am chillin on the couch, no one else awake yet

7AM: don’t think i’m still tripping, i feel a bit faded but it might be the afterglow or just general me being zooted. The sun is rising

1PM : pupils finally went back to normal size

Thoughts: Dxm fucking sucks. I felt a weird emotion that felt like how a chemical smells. Weird and numb and unable to feel anything. Awful body load. Why would you ever do dxm if you can do anything else. Nostalgia is a liar

#sillytripreports #trip report #dxm #dxm hbr #drugs #this was when i relapsed on dxm friday #after not doing it for over 2 years.#i had prior history of dxm abuse

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finchers-ipad · 1 year ago

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Okay so i watched ‘The Killer’ for a second time and think my brain has stopped melting out of my ears enough to form some coherent thoughts about it (spoiler free for the most part but if i do put one i’ll put a warning before that :D)

My favourite scenes:

Firstly the opening like 30mins which i’m counting as a scenes and if not it’s my favourite sequence. I love that we are introduced to this move called ‘The Killer’ which it’s opening titles show different ways of killing people etc so as an audience we expect to be thrust into a violent environment. But Fincher subverts those expectations by having us watch a guy wait around for 30mins.

(SPOILER) I LOVEEE the use of handheld in this movie and this scene/sequence has my favourite use of it in the film. When The Killer messes up his job, the camera immediately switches from a steady cam to handheld, to me this represents how unstable and panicked he feels in the moment. He has to go against his mantra and improvise and the handheld really heightens the tension.

Again, i know this happens throughout the film but the SOUND DESIGN IS SO INCREDIBLE OMG. I love how it is used to align us with Fassbenders charecter (eg if we are seeing from his POV we hear ‘How soon is Now?’ at full volume, however if we see a shot of him we hear the muffled sounds of his headphones playing the song). I also love the song choice for this scene. The sound design is like it’s own character in this film and is up there with ‘The Social Network’ in terms of its use in Fincher’s films.

I also love how this whole scene is basically an homage to Hitchcock’s ‘Rear Window’, i just love that film. (also this isn’t really related but Fincher also added a little homage to ‘Rear Window’ in ‘Panic Room’ where Andrew Kevin walker makes a cameo)

Another one of my favourite scenes is the fight scene in Florida (KIND OF SPOILER):

THIS FIGHT SCENE IS SO FUCKING EPIC!! the low light which allows things like them being illuminated by the tv and bathroom light look so cool, the controlled chaotic carmera movement, the use of props and set in the fight

yeah i honestly cant pinpoint necessarily what i love about this scene but it’s just so cool to watch!

Random thoughts/opinions:

Tilda Swinton competes with Fassbender for my favourite performance in this film. The monologue about the hunter and the bear she gives is so captivating and she has me hanging on her every word. Also i don’t know if this monologue is in the novel because i haven’t read it but either way, it is the most Andrew Kevin Walker dialogue in the film and reminds me a lot of ‘Se7en’

I think this film contains the most handheld shots in all of Fincher’s filmography

The films this is most similar too is ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ and ‘Gone Girl’ but kind of if you replaced Amy and Lisbeth with a guy who listens to The Smiths.

Ah i really didn’t like the opening credits they SCREAMED Netflix original, like what was with those Adobe-Premiere-Pro-ass transitions 💀. but honestly nothing can top ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’s opening credits so i shouldn’t get my hopes up lmao.

If i were to rank this film in Fincher’s filmography i think it would be pretty low-ish. That’s not to say this is a bad or even average film in any shape or form i just like a lot of his other films more than this one :) i am going to be really awkward with my rating and give it a 6.75/10 but i do feel like i need to watch it again lmao.

i am SO SO SO happy that i got to watch this in the cinema. it was over two weeks ago now and im still thrilled.

Ty for reading rambles! If anyone has any thoughts about ‘The Killer’ please share them with me!! :D

#the killer #the killer 2023 #the killer movie #david fincher #andrew kevin walker

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shannadreamgoddess · 7 months ago

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heya! its the anon who gushed about story of arceus a while back (which was apparently over a year ago??? gosh it doesnt feel like its been that long.. still here, still keeping up! ^-^) and im back for round two !!!! this time with Actual Coherent Thoughts !!!!!!

i would like to say that i am also thoroughly enjoying fire & stone!! both you and mimi have done an excellent job writing it. my favorite chapters are probably the ones focused on adelaide's 'conversation battles' (for lack of a better term lol)- reading them gives me the imagery of the whole interaction being like a quick time event, with all the information, status updates, and planning being banners that flash up on screen- something like how the persona 5 battles play out, is my closest comparison. its so fun to read along because of that! that, and the fact that i do genuinely love how adelaide thinking out her next moves is written as well. a constant rotating thought of what moves to make, those move's consequences, their benefits.. the consequences and benefits of those consequences and benefits... shes always trying to think one step ahead of the curve, the paving of the future, even if in that haze of planning she forgets about the people she cares about in the present. ohghhhhhhhh

on that same sort of topic, also loved chapter 80 of soa and the 'deception fight' the crew had + the napkin conversation. the acting to play into vinae's low expectations of them all, the genuinely smart idea of how to communicate without scrutiny, reassuring each other that they're all in this together, and they'll get through it together... outstanding. clapping and cheering. cant wait to see where it goes from there. the bonus chapter is also a nice touch, just from the irony of learning team ganusi's backgrounds- pokemon of lower economic class, who were probably indoctrinated into becoming the people they are today through blind adoration and still being impressionable children at the time. and oh god i just noticed the parallel. they're indoctrinating vizon now. the cycle fucking continuessss auuuggghhhhh also. team ganusi absolutely killed that emboar right. twisting of the truth and whatnot. 'no officer we didnt kill that guy he simply was so stupid he killed himself. you can trust us we're guild :)'

anyways. splendid job on the fics. cant wait to see how they conclude. just imagine that im on my bed kicking my legs and giggling like a highschool girl whenever i read them. im having soooo much fun ^v^

(also... as a small side note..... do you perhaps have an artfight account/are planning on participating this year? lets just say someone would be fully willing to send some attacks of SoA or F&S characters your way... wink wink nudge nudge)

UWAAAHHH IT'S SO NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. ;; I'm really happy you're still enjoying the story <3 I hope it's brought some nice comfort and fun.

SOSOSOSO - I showed this to both Mimi and Cam. They're both super happy, too <3. In FAS Mimi and I are having a blast including those conversational battles. But even more than that I'm having the time of my life watching Mimi write Adelaide. She's such a good character and she's absolutely fun to just mess around with, you know???

Like, setting up conversational challenges then compounding them with emotional challenges -- she's this fiercely oberservant thinker girl yet a single frown from Siranae is like Kryptonite to her (pic related).

I'm genuinely happy you're enjoying those conversation sections!! Some part of me always worried that maybe Fire and Stone was too boring or too dry to anyone but me but I've been pretty lucky to have attracted a reader base who is similarly into these kinds of vibes. ; w ;

And speaking of yeah!! SOA kind of had a similar thing in chapter 80, huh?? Having to outsmart instead of overpower - thank goodness for Loshjno. You know it's funny: Cam was the one to remember and point out that Avery could read but not write so it ended up making the scene even more challenging and fun to pull off than I'd initially thought it'd be! I loved it!

(Also oh my god I'm seeing it too now that you pointed it out -- Team Ganusi is just like Vizon. Who knows, maybe the teams that inspired Ganusi were ALSO like Vizon. Arceliaze is a FUCKING MACHINE, dude!!)

(And also bonus points for picking up on that last detail with the emboar -- I'm so proud of ya'll <33 It's funny because from the outside it looks like a perfectly bog-standard PMD story but all ya'll know better by now >:3 Well done~!)

But HUWAH WE'LL DO OUR BEST TO FINISH THEM!! We're in the struggle of trying to finish long fics - you know how it is. Especially with chapters that some say are as long as novellas all by themselves. We'll get the eventually, we hope!!

And finally…hmmm…I'm not actually sure about art fight. Only because I'm worried about being unable to fire back - I'm genuinely really bad at doing art except in sudden, unpredictable bursts. I could never be a career tumblr artist like some folks art ' w '; But Cam said I could probs just mark myself as an 'easy target'? I dunno, I'll probably think about it, fwah <3

Thank you so much for this, by the way. ;; Comments like these do always reminds us we're not just writing into a void and it makes the keystrokes feel that much easier…genuinely, it helped us today. >.< <3 Much love!!!

#shanna_answers #Anonymous

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unofficialadamtaurus · 2 years ago

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OKAY IM TRYING NOT TO GASP AND CRY AND VOMITING RN AND I

AKAUBSISIWORNXIEJJWPWHF

ill try to make a coherent ask, but WITH THIS STORY???? THIS CHAPTER??????? THE FIGHT????? no promises.

HONESTLY LOVE how blake didn’t go alone and her friends insisted on backing her up. the friendships youve built between team rwby and team jnr+o through this entire fic has been AMAZING, and unlike the show proper, their connection with Blake feels so real that when her friends are actually behind her through and through, it’s not surprising (in a REALLY good way if that makes sense LMAOOO).

AND HOLY FUCKING MOTHER OF GOD there’s SO MUCH tension and blake’s nerves and adam leading her through the tunnel and and and just YOU SET THE ATMOSPHERE SO PERFECTLY LIKE ITS FOR REAL PALPABLE. LIKE 😩 you’re gonna give me a panic attack I SWEAR. THE TENSION IS JUST it feels like a ton of dumbbells landed on fucking chest and I CANT BREATHEEEEEE. seriously you left me on the tip of an edge of mount fucking evrest with the wind going 50+ mph and I LOVED every fucking second.

THE FIGHT GOD THE FIGHT IS JUST I CANT ITS LIKE im fucking speechless.

> He flipped the switch.

YOU DONT KNOW HOW MUCH MY HEART JUMPED WHEN I READ THAAAATTTT.

> She raised her head and sought his eye. The warmth she'd seen earlier was gone like it had never been there at all. In its place was a fury so cold it sent chills down her spine.

AND FUCKING THE WHAT ADAM BRO YO GONNA FUCKING BEAT HER ASS dude is SO LOST IT LIKE. Adam my homie 😔

> In Argus, Blake had thought he'd been over the edge. Now, the chilling realization washed over her that he hadn't been. He'd been angry, he'd been desperate, but he'd still, on some twisted level, cared about her. She had been a target, yes, but he had at least seen her as a person. Someone whose trust and respect he wanted, even if he had to take it back by force.

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

in all seriousness, god does your wording and phrasing just hurt my heart. not just for adam, who is so clearly lost and hurt and confused and angry but like. blake dude. the dialogue, the choreography, how she just holds back, hiw she takes the blows, how she just wants him to listen. fuck man. everything just sells how much it hurts her to fight her mentor, her friend, someone she once wholeheartedly believed in. and hes full on trying to kill her.

FUCK YOU JUST- FUCK this is amazing.

> She exhaled.

YOU FUCKED UP, BITCH

> "I was wrong," she said. "You're not a monster."

> "You're angry and confused and scared, and you need help."

>"You think I'm scared of you? No, Blake. I'm happy. Happy that you've finally given me an opportunity to put everything you've done to me behind me.”

I- GOD STOP HURTING ME. You’re hitting me right in the chest EACH fucking time they talk ughhhghghghgghghhhhh

> "Why are you always so obstinate?"

he may be at rock bottom trying to murder someone who’s trying to help him, but at least he got that vocabulary ;)

> "You've picked quite the hill to die on, my love."

> The caustic, mocking edge to his words had her hackles rising but she refused to take the bait. "I made a promise," she said thickly through the blood streaming from her nose, "never again."

CALL BACK HELL YEAH THIS BLAKE KEEPS HER PROMISES

> This time, their clash ended in a deadlock, Wilt grinding against Gambol Shroud's sheath. Sparks cast their faces in harsh light. Adam bore down even harder. If she took the supporting hand holding her pistol away from the sheath for even a second, Wilt would slice her from cheek to hip. Her aura was hanging on by threads.

> "Give. Up."

> She pushed back with everything she had, shoulders screaming, wrists on fire while she met him pound for pound and glare for glare.

> "I. Won't."

You left me speechless. No fucking words. No words.

> "Is this all you can do?"

> "You were supposed to be better than them, you were supposed to change things!"

MAJOR Obi-wan vs Anakin vibes. scratch that. those two WISH they were blake and adam.

> Oh.

I SEE THAT. DONT THINK I DONT. LINE SWITCH!!!!!!

DUDE that whole part about Blake’s eyes!!!!!! HOW IT FINALLY GOT TO ADAM

> Think, it had told him. Rest, it had begged.

MY HEART.

ADAM HAVING HIS SWORD TO HER THROAT AS HER HANDS BLEED ALMOST DYING IS EVERYTHING I NEED

> "If this isn't the answer," Adam's voice shook, "if this rage has no remedy…" His exposed blue eye was pained and confused and almost pleading when he asked, voice breaking,

> "What am I supposed to do?"

FUCKING

HEART

I AM NOT OKAY. ADAM IS NOT OKAY.

thank you for beating the shit out of blake by the way. i love it when characters get all bloody and messed up 😊 her fingers? almost gone.

making her team show up RIGHT as she was getting to adam???? FUCK YOUUUUUUU

ruby vs adam? hell yes. qrow vs adam? FUCK yes. Ruby qrow and Weiss vs adam???????????

FUCK

YEAH

and very nice environment interaction 👍

that ending tho. just. man. well done. no idea what Blake is planning nor what’ll happen to Adam but SHIT i am hyped to see

thank you thank you thank you for making amazing things 🙏🙏🥹 this is just. I don’t think I’ve ever read a fic that’s made me so invested and emotionally destroyed as this one. great fucking stuff.

I was hyped for your review and goddamn you did NOT disappoint. If you're gonna thank me for making amazing things, I'm gonna thank you for giving the play-by-play reactions to them, I fucking live for that shit.

Expect more callbacks in the next chapter, including one to the heaviest bit of foreshadowing in the story that literally no one commented on when it happened. I stated outright the resolution of the entire Blake and Adam subplot and no one said a word 😂

#anon #unofficial adam answers #hollow people #blake belladonna #adam taurus #happy tag #Literally every reaction you listed here is exactly what I wanted to invoke #I warned y'all that Blake's backup arriving was gonna be a loss not a triumph so I'm very pleased that landed how I wanted it to 😈#oh and thank you for calling out the environment interaction i really wanted to sell that they were using the space :)#and YES you also caught the (admittedly obvious) star wars homage!!#it's pretty much in honor of the new obi wan show and it just fit so well. blake referencing her parents and how adam was supposed to #bring change but he only brought destruction #this review might single handedly keep me motivated for weeks and i'm not even joking #seriously if more people just like. commented/reviewed with one line that they liked and their reaction to it i'd be fucking ecstatic #i mean i'm ecstatic now but you get what i mean #and constantly trying to strategize while simultaneously playing the meta game of blake trying to pull a spiraling adam back from the brink #long post

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yeoldontknow · 4 years ago

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Hiya Kat. I've wanted to send this message for a while but I'm shy and you haven't been around much (which is so okay, I'm really happy you're resting!). I just didn't want to bother you. But I did want to tell you how much your writing means to me. I know you always say you feel pressured to put stuff out but I'm happy waiting so long for your work because it's always perfect. I fall into your writings every single time. Your Y/Ns are all really different from one another but the common theme

is that they are always so strong in their own voices. Even if those voices are flawed. The way you write love and romance. Actually any emotion you write is powerful. You've helped me process so many of my own emotions through your writings and your blog has become a kind of safe space for me. Even when you don't write and it's just gifs and tags and tag games your blog always feels safe and fun and happy. Your love for Chanyeol brings me an odd sort of comfort because it just feels so warm and sincere. I'm sorry if this a lot (it feels like a lot to type yikes). I just love your writing so much. It's helped me understand the kind of person I want to grow into and the kind of way I want to love people. You're an inspiration to me and also a motivator to be a better writer. I think you're probably my favorite author on this dumpster site. Please rest your anxiety and take all the time you need. You heal others so please heal yourself too.

anon this is quite possible the most incredible message i’ve received in a long, long time. not going to lie, this made me cry. im really emotional reading this tbh and i really did need to hear it. i cant believe my work has touched you so deeply and helped heal you in such a profound way. thats the highest and most powerful compliment i could ever be given as a writer or a person. and your praise of my personal character is moving.

i wish i had a more coherent or thoughtful response but i cant really form words. im just speechless. this really does mean the world to me and im honestly verklempt. thank you so much anon. im the one who needs to praise you for such empathetically moving words. ive read this for several minutes just wondering how i could reply. all i can say is thank you from the bottom of my heart.

#the cutest anons!#Anonymous

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cowboyshit · 5 years ago

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@adampage tumblr did a dumbass thing and messed up the read-more to where I couldn’t put it under one so I had to delete your ask and I’m making a separate post for this disaster of a ramble hoooo boy i hope you’re ready for what you’ve unleashed

adampage asked: ma’am I know you’re high off your rocker but if you have time would you please critique hangman’s playlist for me bc I want to know your thoughts 🥰 anyway yeehaw

OH MY GOD yes???? yes I fucking WILL?????? let’s just pump the breaks on what i was doing right the fuck now, get his playlist in front of me (even though ive been listening to it nonstop and have so many things to ALREADY SAY) and talk about this shit. im sorry if this isn’t coherent im pry just gonna ramble. (edit to add now that I’m done: ITS FREAKING 3252 WORDS LONG LMAO OH MY GOD)

first and foremost. I Love It. let’s just slap that down. get that out of the way. ITS SO GOOD. SO FUCKING GOOD. also this is going under a readmore cause YEAH. it’s THAT LONG.

let’s start first with mr. adam ‘i taught graphic design when i was 20 and learned adobe illustrator and photoshop to design my own tshirts when i was an indie wrestler’ page’s cover image. wait. no. back up - look at the profile image he chose for his profile. it’s not a selfie. it’s not a picture he snapped with his camera. it’s a screenshot of the “has been drinking” moment on aew dynamite. what a lovable FOOL. he really saved that and put that as his profile pic im skjdfkjfd okay now swing back to the anxious millenial design with the signed hangman adam page for the cover. he designed that. I swear he did. I swear he did that. I could be wrong but I just feel it in my bones. that was him. also, THAT should have been the vintage shirt. cowboy shit is cute but ANXIOUS MILLENNIAL COWBOY? I NEED THAT AS THE SHIRT!

okay now let’s get into the songs. wait. before i go through it I do want to say something about the playlist overall.

I can’t decide if this is because he shares so many similarities to the character hangman adam page, but so many of these songs apply to his character like, this fucking playlist plays like a hangman adam page THE CHARACTER playlist. like this is the playlist i’d find on 8tracks back when that was the “thing” in fandom where every song makes me go “OMG THAT IS THAT CHARACTER” like. I don’t know if he did that purposefully as an extension of the character? or if it just happens to line up because of how similar he is and his story is to his character but SOME of these songs wooooo boy they get deep dont they? when you compare them to the character?

okay. songs.

so I know some of these, especially the classics, summertime of course, but for the ones I didn’t know I love them so much. they have such a vibe that just fits him, and they’re all so good???

rather low by nick shoulders is one I didn’t know and I fucking LOVE it. and look. it goes from Long Time Gone by the Dixie Chicks. Long Time Gone about being away from the country life, from home and if my THEORY is right about this playlist hitting the character, hangman is struggling with being lost, without a family. it goes from that to rather low, which talks about not being welcome at home. like “I told you once I told you twice, I’m steeped in verse and cursed in vice” ajdskjds GOOD lyrics. beat slaps. song slaps. I love it.

okay so we go roll on mississippi which is soft compared to the two upbeat songs that just hit us before. calms you down after that high energy beat rather low had. lets you breathe. AND it’s got a sad, soft, longing pull to it, falling in with more of those “lost” from home themes. “You're the childhood dream that I grew up on. Roll on Mississippi, carry me home. Now I can see I've been away too long.” UGH! and also, it’s just a good fucking song.

then we go to a song i haven’t heard and love, going places by aubrie sellers. it’s a little bit funkier, but still soft. also groovy as FUCK. and it obv talks about GOING places. so maybe the first three songs were about the home he’s left behind, but now it’s about where he’s going. and man this song just SLAPS.

A CLASSIC is next, 1970 something illegal smile by john prine. it has that classic soft croon, such a good country sound and it’s a little bit playful. it makes you wanna smile and sway back and forth. it’s a good song. fun. but it’s almost a little bit. dark? “ Won't you please tell the man I didn't kill anyone. No, I'm just tryin' to have me some fun. Well, I sat down in my closet with all my overalls, tryin' to get away from all the ears inside my walls. I dreamed the police heard everything I thought, what then?” it just makes me think of when his character “killed�� joey ryan. I could be looking too far into it but, that’s what popped into my head.

OKAY NOW this next one. fuck yeah I DIG this song. I hadn’t heard this song and it quickly went into my liked songs. and if we’re following his character, the lyrics hit HARD. “ I've lost the will to try this worthless lullaby. Its melody won't fly me past oblivion. I bet it would be nice to find that paradise, a world of sparkling light beyond the setting sun. But I don't dream anymore” ugh !!!!!!! UGGGHH!! SO GOOD?? and even the slight upbeat to it. “would if I could but I don’t dream anymore” uuuuggghhh SO GOOD. love this song. one of my faves of the whole list for sure.

the next two back-to-back are CLASSICS and fit the hangman adam page character so damn perfect. i’ve even looked at lyrics from merle haggard’s i don’t want to sober up to night for adam in the past akjfdkjdsf it’s fucking perfect. and then followed by dwight yoakam’s honky tonk man?! amazing. we go from from fucking heart-wrenching lyrics if you think about them for him: “ I don't want to sober up tonight. I don't want to act like things are alright, and I don't want to change just to make you think I'm happy. That's my right, I don't want to sober up tonight. I want to keep my mind a little hazy. I don't care if all my friends think I'm crazy. The way I treat myself I might be a little crazy But that's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight. I'm here to drown another day of misery. I'm in here to spend one night without a mem'ry and the way I'm drinking now there won't be any memory. But it's alright, I don't want to sober up tonight” to HONKY TONK MAN. HONKY. TONK. MAN. “ Well I'm a honky tonk man and I can't seem to stop. I love to give the girls a whirl to the music of an old jukebox, but when my money's all gone, I'm on the telephone singing, hey hey mama can your daddy come home?” ajhsdjksdjkf like. look. partying hangman, drunk, swinging a girl around in the country bar???? cause he refused to sober up and just wanted to have fun? anyways regardless if there’s a connection or if im reaching, these are some good classics to pull out right here. honky tonk man will ALWAYS bring the party back up.

another song I didn’t know but now love? happy reunion by colter wall? this is a good freaking cowboy song??? and it’s a cute story???? about what a cowboy does during his day??? what the fuck? riding along the range with his dog, helping the cow, getting the calf back that’d gotten lost???? CUTE? anyways this is a vibin as HELL song and if it’d come out when I was still raising cows my ass woulda been blasting this shit as I drove to feed the herd for SURE. this song is a whole ass vibe and I’m digging it.

okay. walk through fire by yola? another i didn’t know (which - so far it seems all the songs that arent classics - spare dixie chicks - are from 2019) and I am obsessed with???? it’s so good? and fuck just such a good love song??? “Standing on the side of the river. Staring across the great divide. I'd give all my gold and silver just to get to the other side. Your love is like a rescue vessel, carries me through the night through these flames of destruction. I know you're gonna make it right. I know, I know you're gonna save my life.“ LIKE? HENLO????????? FUCK!!!! THATS SO GOOD. that whole song I could post all the lyrics tbh. and the way she CROONS it ugh. yeah. I love that song.

FUCKIN YES. DOLLY FUCKIN PARTON. youre not gonna make a country playlist and not include a dolly parton song boy i KNOW IT. and the song choice??? hm? remind you of a CERTAIN COWBOYS STRUGGLE WITH NOT HAVING A HOME???? “What difference does it make which way I go, got an empty feelin' down inside. Still I need to stay alive and who can tell what waits beyond this road. I'm a drifter” ajdfshjsd god I love dolly. and of COURSE he does too. i’m so pleased by this choice I can’t stop smiling. ugh. love this. love dolly.

sandpaper oneside, rubber other by the bobby tenderloin universe what do you know? another 2019 song I didn’t know and yet absolutely LOVE. I also am loving how he does a mix of classics with newer (but still almost classic-country sounding, maybe like. classic meets modern) country music in this playlist. AND WHAT A SONG. it’s so good? and again, just makes me think of the character. “there are two minds inside me. that’s one life too many. but i keep moving slow on both sides, strong as I can be.” tell me that doesnt make you think of hangman adam page. and it has such a... sad vibe. “i cant believe the things i am. as much a lion as a lamb” !!!!!!!!!!! ugh such a GOOD LINE. THAT SLAPS. LOVE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ugh this song. especially the back vocals of the woman that comes in later on? it’s like. ethereal. beautiful. fucking beautiful and almost haunting. paired with the sad lyrics? UGH. gorgeous.

long white line by sturgill simpson i do know and LOVE and it’s got a fun, uplifting cowboy beat following the more slow, sad croon of the last song. it’s SO COUNTRY. the way it’s sung? SO COUNTRY. and also ajdfskjsd adam. “I woke up my baby was gone without her I don't need no home” and “Gonna' push this rig 'til I push that girl out of my mind. If somebody wants to know what's become of this so and so tell em' I'm somewhere looking for the end of that long white line” kjdjkfdkjf this is just such a country song, and it fits SO well, especially after that previous pick.

now we go from two new songs to another classic. another (i think) 1970s country hit. lonesome, on’ry and mean is SUCH a classic country song. it has that good old sound, and the story it tells too. and just, I can’t stop thinking about hangman just “ Been driving these highways, been doing things my way. It's been making me lonesome on'ry and mean.” ajdskjflkf it’s fair to say that character IS lonesome, on’ry and mean right now. anyways, fun country song regardless and I DIG the addition.

okay back to a newer song and holy shit. this is my personal favorite of the new songs he introduced me to. this song I LOVE this song. fuuun FUN beat, makes me want to fucking GROOVE. I love love love this, and I love the way the singer sings? it just makes me wanna UGH. just wanna sway to it. the whine in the croon I just love. and the BEAT. the beat is so fucking good. and the lyrics? “I'm that wholesome Midwestern boy that you want to bring home to your mama. Even though I��bring you joy, baby I'm not the toy you wanna play with at night. Too many things I've seen. Too many people and places I've been. I'm thinking about doing those things I shouldn't be doing. Something I've never done before. I want something to fuck me up. Need somebody to fuck me up. Everyone feels like it. Fuck me up, fuck me up, fuck me up” ajdsjkds I LOVE THIS SONG SO MUCH “Well I might go and get drunk and stoned 'cause it's better than being only crazy. If I ever come back, wherever I end up at is where I was supposed to be.” it’s so perfect for his character it drives me crazy. this is a song I’d listen to and first, groove to, and then be like THIS SONG IS HANGMAN. love this song. absolutely a favorite.

the next song though. the next song. fucking hangman adam page and his love of biscuits. southern biscuits by seasick steve oh. my. god. this BOY. THIS COUNTRY BOY. THIS BISCUIT LOVIN COUNTRY BOY. this is such a damn good addition. not only is it so fucking country, almost. spoken/sung? the soft hum with the fucking banjo??? and of COURSE of course he knows and loves this song I can’t with him. and it hits you with the: “ Southern biscuits, nothin' better in the world 'less they're made for you, by your southern girl.” and I go UWU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

two new songs so guess what? classic time. BALANCE. HE’S KEEPING BALANCE. I swear he’s done this purposefully and I could be crazy I could be giving him more credit than is due but I swear he’s picked the arrangement of songs too. because this is too coincidental. so, we’ve got our classic livin on the run by david allan coe. what a DARK song to go with. about a man who murders a woman and lives on the run (again, can’t help but think of the joey ryan murder thing, but hey. that’s just me grasping for straws) regardless if it ties or not, it’s a good classic and it’s fun to croon to even if its uh. dark but sung like. upbeat? almost???

okay, another classic and, to me, one of the sexiest songs on this playlist. I fucking love this song. it’s sexy with an underlying of dark. she literally seduces and knocks the guy out and robs him blind and he��s STILL craving her summer wine like. this song is SO GOOD. so fucking good. the way the music swells with the storytelling is beautiful. “Strawberries cherries and an angel's kiss in spring, my summer wine is really made from all these things. Take off your silver spurs and help me pass the time, and I will give to you summer wine” is just so ajkdfskjdfs ugh i love this song

and guess what? two classics so we’re swinging to a newer song. left turn on a red light by blackfoot. oof. I didn’t know this song and it hit me, it’s so good and I know im saying that about all of them but Honestly. “ Sun shines down on the desert, and it seems to make my life a haze, and I dream of my childhood sweetheart,and the freedom that I had in those days.” UGH. “ Will I always be a rambler? Will the ones I love always keep tellin' me, "You stare too long in the mirror, son, someday you'll be too blind to see.” HELLO???? those lyrics? SO GOOD. and again applying them to hangman just makes me FERAL SCREAM.

cowboys and hippies by cody jinks is such a hangman song it’s almost unreal. if I was going to REALLY reach I’d say it almost reminds me of the way the crowd pulls him back. “At some old honkytonk bar that I know by the smell, some old drunk on a barstool on a Merle Haggard tune. That's my kind of room. Raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys. They don't care about no trends, they don't care about songs that sell. Yeah, tomorrow I'll be gone, so tonight everybody just sing along, raising hell with the hippies and the cowboys” GOOD LYRICS. this has the same sad undertones too as a lot of these songs have too.

ugh. I love him sincerely for this next one. blue skies is one of my favorite songs, but blue skies by willie nelson? YES. my grandpa used to play willie nelson ALL THE TIME and I love this version. an uplifting song to follow the heavier songs. I’d like to think of a hangman who has the blue skies from now on. all of his blue days gone. this song is such a classic (cover) that just. good pick. I love this.

alright, so we’ve got a classic but he’s chosen the version from bojack horseman which makes me think that might’ve been the first time he heard it, but that’s neither here nor there. stars is a BEAUTIFUL song. and boy am I happy we had blue skies before this cause fuck. how sad? how emotional?????? “People lust for fame like athletes in a game, we break our collarbones and come up swinging, some of us are downed some of us are crowned, and some are lost and never found” fuck. fuck fuck fuck. and the last two lines, thinking about hangman? “So if you don't lose patience with my fumbling around, I'll come up singing for you, even when I'm down.” FUCK. my HEART. good pick but OUCH. good but ow.

summertime by orville peck is next BLESS finally an orville song I was gonna lose it on him if he put a playlist and DIDN’T include an orville song. interesting though he went with summertime, the newest, and not any of the ones off pony. but! it follows stars well. its soft, lull, and the lyrics are so hangman now that I put it in this context. “Catch 'em by surprise and chasin' the horizon, nothing holds me down. Askin', "Where the time's gone?" Dreamin' with the lights on, tryna keep your eyes on something along the rise" anyways I know YOU know this song well it’s so fucking good. has that same soft pull a lot of these songs have. the way that chorus swells though? the secondary vocals??? ugh. yeah this was a great choice, I’m glad he went with summertime. it fits the vibe of this playlist so well.

we’re ending on a song with such a country sound to it (i mean all of these do), a bit more upbeat, a bit more funky. “Some say I'm a wild man, drink too much nectar from the corn” and also “Oh the school, it wasn't for me. I earned my stripes a different way I learned to sing harmony and go play out on the stage” definitely makes me think of hangman for SURE. it’s a funky song to end on, and if you keep listening to the playlist on repeat like I do, it even falls into long time gone really well.

and of course this is assuming you’re meant to listen to them one after the other and not on shuffle. I’m sure it still works on shuffle but I LOVE the flow of this playlist listening to it one after the other.

love this whole playlist. and my identifying it with the character could TOTALLY be reaching, but of course I’m going to think of him and analyze his selection of *these* songs specifically to put out to all of us. out of EVERY song he likes. he didn’t include... hmm cowboy take me away, for example? shoulda been a cowboy??? the vibe of the overall playlist FITS “anxious millenial cowboy” it has an underbelly of sadness to it. and I dig the fuck out of that.

overall 10/10 I love this fucking playlist thank you goodnight

#hangman page #ashley answers #ashleys talking again #tw: weed #tw: alcohol #ANYWAYS what i'd said before is #if you read this whole thing i think im obligated to marry you #also. i forget to mention the title of some of the songs i talk about but it follows the list the whole way down #sorry how non-coherent it is i just. lose it.

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saints-row-2 · 6 years ago

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film watch day 31: Every Halloween Film

happy Halloween today i watched every Halloween film currently available to me. i couldnt get to rewatch Halloween 2018 but i already wrote about it a couple of weeks back so feel free to revisit that post. anyway, i watched ten Halloween movies today. It took around 17 hours. i started at 11:15am and im writing this now at 6 am.

so lets get to the post. for the most part i went in chronological order, except i chose to start with Rob Zombie’s remakes because i knew if i didnt id be finishing the day by watching them at the break of dawn and the idea of doing that was so fucking putrid to me that i decided to get them out of the way first.

Halloween (2007)

i hate this fucking movie. i mentioned in an ask the other day but im happy to repeat here, i dont hate the idea of expanding on Michael’s backstory. like the fact is we largely know his backstory, the issue is how this film chose to portray it. the original Halloween is frightening because its based around the idea that the seemingly safe, quiet suburbs are not as safe as they seem; you can be on a street youve known your entire life, only a few metres from your own home, and still at risk. the whole idea of showing Michael as a murderer when he was six is to tell us that anyone could be a threat, that our conventions that all killers are a particular kind of person is false.

Halloween 2007 says fuck that, we know what serial killers are, and theyre those poor kids who come from shitty neighbourhoods and have abusive parents and mothers who are sex workers. everything that Halloween brings to the table is fucking tedious, played out, and massively uninspired. it wants to bring us the truth about why Michael is like he is, but Rob Zombie’s only understanding of serial killers is in the cliche and exploitative. he has nothing honest about human nature to show us, only the exact same stories that have been fed to us by crime and horror movies past.

this film is incredibly loud and in fucking constant motion. even on steady shots of still scenes the camera constantly shakes, and in every other scene its always whirling around from tracking shot to panning over the scene to just idly zooming in and out of nothing. Zombie’s favourite shot is to have something large and out of focus in the foreground -- like some plants -- and to shoot the characters standing about six feet away muttering to themselves. every single fucking shot in this movie lingers too long, every scene drags a little longer than it needs to. this film moves with the pace that i would describe as “family guy gag”.

and this film is so loud. people are always talking or screaming, largely about nothing important or interesting. theres always music, but it never particularly adds anything; for reasons i fail to fucking understand the entirety of the original theme plays over mostly uninteresting tracking shots of a minor character walking around yelling filler lines about nothing.

the writing is horseshit. everyone in this film is vile, no one talks or behaves like real human beings. almost every exchange in this movie is the characters saying the exact same thing back and forth inanely, frequently punctuated by screaming FUCK as loudly as possible and talking about sex in a way that 40 year old men really really wished teenage girls talk about sex. Halloween (2007) is thoughtlessly gross and mean and nasty, disconnected from any kind of human sensitivity and empathy. it wants to be complicated and to be deep but its crushingly simplistic and stupid. the only thing that redeems it is that its not Halloween II (2009). speaking of which...

Halloween II (2009)

jesus christ this movie is so fucking boring. Halloween II is two hours long but feels like its about twenty hours long. i felt like i was watching this film for twenty days and twenty nights. i was trapped in an eternal purgatory with this movie.

i really cant fucking emphasise how boring this film is. endless scene after scene of nothing of consequence happening, uninteresting death scenes that add nothing, and Michael wandering around doing jack shit. Halloween II fucking made Michael Myers boring, and im saying this as someone who (as i repeat once every 8 seconds) has a tattoo of him. this film couldnt hold MY interest in two of my favourite characters of all time.

the big fun new addition from the first movie is the presence of Michael and Laurie’s mother as a kind of weird goth ghost guiding Michael to kill. i dont know why Michael had to be Jason Voorhees and be a mommy’s boy all of a sudden, but this addition brings absolutely nothing of interest to the film or to his character. its meant to be symbolic of fucking... something im sure, but it feels meaningless. somehow Michael and Laurie are both able to see and interact with this ghost and the ghost has an agenda to do... something? it feels about as intelligent and coherent as the bullshit cult of thorne shit from 6, but a lot less fun. at some point Michael Myers apparently has mind control powers?

not to repeat myself a hundred fucking times but this film is insanely unpleasant to watch. every scene someone is screaming, generally wailing “fuck you bitch” at anyone in their vicinity. this is two hours of people howling swear words at each other and not infrequently making rape jokes. Rob Zombie loves rape jokes! almost as much as he loves putting sexual assault in his movies over and over again for no reason.

there is nothing to enjoy in this film. theres nothing to gain. there is too much slow-mo and far too many strobe lights and absolutely nothing of any intelligence or grace. Halloween II is a thirteen year old boy in a korn T-shirt calling his mom a bitch while he draws zombies on the back of his homework, which he will get an F for because the only thing he wrote was “reading is for faggots”.

Halloween (1978)

what the fuck can i say. this is one of the greatest horror movies ever made, if not the greatest. its one of my favourite movies. its forty years old and still just as chilling and frightening as it ever was. it has some shot composition and cinematography thats up with the best ive ever seen, all while being shot on a budget of $300,000. it does more with less than just about any film, launched the slasher genre, shot Jamie Lee Curtis to stardom and created a pop culture icon that stayed strong for decades. its a masterclass in tension and suspense, a lean-cut perfectly paced film with heaps of atmosphere and character.

i love this film with a frantic passion that makes me unable to talk about it in a particularly helpful way. i cant “review” Halloween. I love this film beyond reason and sense and you either get it or you dont.

Halloween II (1981)

Halloween II is largely one of the less remembered entries in the franchise; its a decent enough movie, neither matching up to the highs of the original or the lows of the later films. its a pretty enjoyable little film, created under the logic of ‘well the first one did well, lets do the same thing again’. Carpenter wrote the script but didn’t direct, and while the film has a solid story, the directing lacks his signature flair. its hard to pinpoint, because the film is generally fairly well-shot, but lacks a kind of eye for shot composition that Carpenter made look easy, doesnt have as much patience for suspense.

on its own merits, theres still some great shots and great scenes in the movie. and a lot of really cool kills; II got a lot more creative with what Michael was capable of, and i think the boiling water drowning kill is rightfully pretty infamous.

this was the last Halloween movie Carpenter wrote, and it was the film where the idea of Laurie and Michael being siblings was introduced. and believe me ill defend this fucking decision to the grave. adding the human connection between Michael and Laurie gives a whole other layer to their relationship thats so fascinating to me, and i love that other films try to expand on the themes of family. in general, deciding that this film would continue to focus on Laurie and not do what later slashers did with bouncing around between different casts was a great fucking move, ironically for a franchise that was intended to be an anthology.

quietly exploring the aftermath of the first film was a good idea for a follow-up, and i especially really enjoy Loomis’ role in this movie, and his discussion about who Myers is. the biggest disappointment for me personally is that Laurie lacks a lot of presence in this film. Curtis is great, as always, but the movie dawdles on some side characters who are too disconnected from her to get a sense of what shes going through.

all that being said, Halloween II is decent. the ending is really great, with some really powerful shots. Michael bleeding from the eyes of his mask after Laurie shoots him is one of the best fucking images in horror and him swinging blindly as Laurie and Loomis slowly orchestrate his death is a fucking amazing scene. i have an immense fondness for this movie, with all its flaws. it brings a lot of really cool concepts to the table, and i think it deserves some appreciation.

heres a question tho; where the fuck were Laurie’s parents. theres a suggestion theyre missing, but theres no explanation why and we never hear from them. did michael kill them too? hello? mr and mrs strode? your daughter just fucking killed a guy and all her friends are dead. where the fuck are you.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch

Halloween III is infamous as being the Halloween movie that isn’t about Michael Myers at all. when it first released it was wildly unpopular and remained so for quite a while, but has had a surge in popularity over the last few years. i think just about every horror critic i know now considers Halloween III one of the best in the franchise. and to be fair to it, its a great little movie. not a slasher at all but rather a conspiracy thriller, Halloween III is all about the mystery of what the Silver Shamrock mask-making company are really up to, and why people are disappearing. its a weird and creative little movie, with some really fucking great practical effects that turn it from just being a thriller to being an all-out horror film. it has a few too many ineffective jumpscares and some of the plot twists are kind of disappointing and feel a little too much like the easy option -- and then others are so wildly bizarre no one would see them coming because theyre fucking completely out there. but i kind of love that sort of nonsense in a horror movie. like lets just have a fucking good time in here for once in our fucking lives.

Halloween III is not a perfect or even a really great movie, but yknow, fuck it. the idea that only perfect films are worth watching is dumb. i appreciate the weird shit this film tried and i think it deserves a lot more respect than what it got; if it had been released under another title it probably would have gone down as a classic instead of being derided for years, you ask me.

now things start going rapidly downhill

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

Halloween 4 is when Jamie is introduced as the new final girl; Laurie’s seven year old daughter, after Laurie herself died off-screen in a fucking car crash. the decision to kill off Laurie came from Jamie Lee Curtis decided not to return to the character and instead of recasting her, they went with just having her… die. off-screen. in the franchise where the previous two movies were about her triumph and determination to stay alive. like its the casual thoughtlessness of this that, the idea no one would give a shit a character returned, that in my eyes epitomises how fucking little anyone cared about this franchise going forward.

man the idea of Laurie dying completely irrelevant to Michael… thats a lot. anyway continuing on his quest to erase anyone related to him, Michael starts targeting his niece Jamie for the three movies in the franchise. this is where the series started rapidly losing any grip on reality. while Michael always had some kind of superhuman elements to him (he took six bullets to the chest and survived in the first movie) these became increasingly wildly exaggerated. now hes crushing peoples skulls with his bare hands shit like what the fuck. first of all do that to me and secondly, it was this kind of slide into unreality that let the supernatural elements of the series creep in further until you end up with the shitshow that is Halloween 6. like it was the decrease in the impact of violence and human life that really fucked this franchise over.

this film is not great. its a definite decline in quality after 2 and was on the slippery slope downwards. it has some high points, primarily in Dr Loomis. Donald Pleasance is a better actor than most movies deserve and brings gravitas to a role that in the hands of a less capable actor would be laughable. his sincere plea to Michael at one point to just kill him instead of going after Jamie is honestly fucking tragic.

outside of that, the film isnt massively interesting. Michael himself isnt particularly threatening or engaging, and his mask looks like shit in this film. the characters in this film are largely very stupid, also, which doesnt help anything much.

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers

if theres a Halloween movie people talk about the least, its this one. II has the sibling twist, III is the black sheep, 4 is the return, even 6 gets talked about for its troubled production history. no one has anything to say about Halloween 5. and thats mostly because there is fucking nothing to say about Halloween 5. it is a relentlessly fucking dull movie that pads out its 100 minute run time with endless unnecessary scenes of shit that does… nothing. this film is dull in a way that i find incredibly detestable. i cant even watch it through a haze of impassioned anger like i can with the also incredible dull Halloween II (2009). its just fucking boring. every single scene drags like its trying to walk on two broken legs. the plot is so bare bones its nonsensical. it constantly adds new characters and new elements but all that does is makes it more incoherent and confusing. watching this movie i literally found my fucking eyes glazing over in my skull. if this film was edited correctly it would be twenty minutes long. i cannot fucking emphasise enough how much of relentless slog it is. Halloween 4 was dull but even that had the lifeline of ‘some cool ideas’. Halloween 5 is nothing. Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water.

Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers

if Halloween 5 is puddle dirt water Halloween 6 is just a fresh hot glass of piss. there are two versions of Halloween 6, the director’s cut and the theatrical release, and both are wretched. this film went full ham with introducing the supernatural elements, telling us that Michael was his whole life psychically controlled by a pagan cult called the Cult of Thorne in order to make Halloween scary again or summon the devil or who fucking cares. this movie is fucking insufferably dull, totally absurd, and wildly unsympathetic. i loathe Halloween 6 and every terrible, stupid plot decision it makes. Paul Rudd defeats Michael Myers by drawing druid symbols on the ground and Michael just gives up and lies down. theres a baby that does nothing and serves no purpose. Halloween is apparently banned in Haddonfield, which makes this more closely related to Footloose than Halloween i think. this film takes itself incredibly seriously while spouting nothing but total fucking bullshit drivel and i dont believe that anyone involved in this movie, from the cast to the cameraman to the guy who served the lunch had any faith in this movie outside of the vague hope it might make money and i wish this movie had been burned at the stake. also i hate Paul Rudd.

Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

oh thank fucking god finally some good fucking food. Halloween H20 took the decision to retcon all the sequels (except II) twenty years before Halloween 2018, proving that everyone knew 5 and 6 were fucking mistakes.

this film loses a lot of the Halloween feeling in favour of making a more generic late 1990s/early 2000s style horror. theres nothing particularly interesting about the way this movie is directed or shot, the music is largely very generic, it has a generally uninteresting glossy quality to it that studio movies always do. its very obvious this movie was inspired by Scream and it looks a lot more like Scream than it does Halloween. all of this makes me kind of sad, but other films in the franchise have proved that other directors generally are not capable of imitating Carpenter’s style so maybe its better they dont really try.

what H20 does so well, and the reason i love it so much, is that it explores the relationship between Michael and Laurie, which is something im endlessly fascinated with. this was the first movie to have Laurie shake off her fear and rise up against Michael, and while it doesnt do it with quite as much depth and intelligence as Halloween 2018, it still has a fucking good crack at Laurie’s character, and its still powerful watching her turn on the man who terrorised her for years. Michael is great in this movie too; while he has a terrible mask, watching him back on his shit as a furious force of nature who wants nothing more than to destroy anyone who gets in his way.

honestly i kind of enjoy having a Halloween in a different style; theres something fun about seeing characters recontextualised and done with justice and empathy. most of the Halloween sequels before this one (and after, looking at Resurrection) are shallow, unconcerned with any kind of emotional depth or personality. and while a lot of the stock filler characters in H20 who are lined up for the chopping block arent that interesting and dont particularly standout, watching Jamie Lee Curtis’ performance and seeing her interplay with Michael is enough. and most of the side characters arent particularly annoying, which is more than i can say for half this franchise.

this film also has what is one of my absolute favourite endings in a movie ever; the final confrontation between Michael and Laurie has a particular interaction between them that i absolutely adore and that alone is enough to make this movie one of my favourites.

H20 isnt perfect; it weirdly feels like a blueprint that Halloween 2018 would later refine into a better movie, but the idea its going to be completely disregarded for Halloween 2018 in the future makes me a little sad. in the face of so many fucking mediocre and awful Halloween sequels it did the right thing in trying to focus on what actually mattered; the connection between Michael and Laurie, although i dont feel like it succeeded in making Michael as scary as 2018 would much later. that said, the shot where Michael and Laurie just stare at each other through the glass of a window? that gives me chills every time. and hearing the Halloween theme kick in as Laurie marches off into the school with an axe looking for Michael is so fucking triumphant.

i love H20 even if Michael’s mask looks like his hair was dunked in a bucket of water and then gently blow-dried. i have no idea why it looks so fucking stupid in this movie. why is it so hard to get Michael’s mask right. you wouldnt think it was that fucking hard. anyway, i really fucking love Laurie Strode a lot, which didnt help to make Resurrection any easier to swallow.

Halloween: Resurrection

so whats the obvious thing to do after you have a movie where the power and emotion all comes from the emotional catharsis of seeing a woman get her vengeance on her tormentor? you, uh, make a sequel in which she is immediately defeated and pointlessly killed after its revealed her victory at the end of the previous film was entirely false, and then you never return to focus on her and instead introduce a horde of entirely uninteresting stock characters. yeah, makes sense.

Resurrection is fucking incredibly stupid, in the kind of fucking hysterical way only really bad horror movies can capture. theres absolutely nothing of Halloween in this other than the presence of Michael, who just as easily could have been replaced with anyone or anything. the story has a group of people on a reality show staying in the Myers house to… stay there? its not entirely clear what the challenge is meant to be, other than to just be inside the house, which i imagine gets to be pretty dull viewing pretty quickly. theres no suggestion theyre like, hunting for ghosts or something along those lines, theyre just… looking at stuff.

Michael slopes around this movie like he doesnt fucking understand where he is or whats going on, an entirely out of place relic of better times past while the cast cavorts around him doing nothing of interest and having no plots or characterisation to speak of. the film has exactly two or three funny moments, including the legendary ‘Michael Myers getting electrocuted in the dick by Busta Rhymes’, but youre way, way better off just looking that up on youtube instead of watching this movie. there is an hour of pointless plot development about characters no one cares about until Michael starts fucking killing people. this movie shouldnt exist and we should all go back to pretending it doesnt.

and thats it. thats all the halloween films. i can die now.

#rantsfilmwatch #this is around 4000 words long so yknow consider yourself warned

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lokbobpop · 3 years ago

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Education

The word education is derived from the Latin word “educare” which means to bring up. Another Latin word “educere”, means to bring forth. Therefore education to bring forth as well as bring up. ... They say 'e' means out of and duco means to lead' i.e. to educate means to lead forth or “to extract out” the best in man.

Education ed u cation educat i on ed u cat i on

Writing education

My education was terrible how have we been around for eons of time and we cant even do education properly how is this possible i dont know i really dont well I do we are coherent into this believing this is all there is within being educated whe it is just a lie so people like me who dont read out write to feel terrible have terrible lives in jobs we dont like ar enjoy happy in to keep the wheel turning i will no longer tournament this wheel i will not longer live thsi life i living within me now im growing within me so this doesn’t happen anymore. We are all growing so this wont happen anymore.

Reading education

My education comes up how it didnt do anything for me i learnt how to read after school i feel it wasnt for people like me who I couldn’t remember what it was we were doing 5 seconds after i needed a different kind of learning i need more that i had or was given by the education system but this will all change soon i hope.

I hated school I couldn’t do it and spent 50 years feeling not good enough because I couldn’t do it when there was no way i ever needed ot feel this way i hope by the time trin went to school things would be different but they weren’t at all just the same crap.

I dont have a education i failed school i failed collage i failed it all within the education system and many others also do it doesnt support everyone only the few it needs to change and it will we will build a new system that supports all.

fear is within this word for me like i cant do it i dont want to know about it so I just don’t mention it please i dont like the word.

I would love to be educated in something worth while like to learn a skill but it seems education is only about reading a writing this seems to be all that matters.

Saying education

To get an education you have to go to school and learn there systems and not your own whats best for you it failed me

To be educated doesnt mean your better you just know more about some thing than on other the topic thats it life is more educational it self we need to be educated in whats true not whats lies we need to have a practical education.

Upset i dont have one and wanted be like others but hey if i did i might not be who i am to day and that would never do i love me as i am right now.

Does this definition support me no hate for the systems that taught me nothing how i was just a cog in the wheels of industry never seen or heard but this is changing right now as we drop the elite and find out own way.

Education educate i on (everything )

Education

To educate myself to where i can stand equal with all and one so we can all stand to gather and see whats wrong whats right for all those to come after me.

I will live this word with education of myself to bring forth me under all the lies of my mind to bring forth a new world a new beginning.

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tumblunni · 7 years ago

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Oh god this article is so long and just keeps getting scarier what the fuck They RELEASED THE SECOND ATTEMPTED MURDERER WHO WASNT SCHIZOPHRENIC?? We like.. don’t even have any details on her cos she only got three years and is long gone?? SHE LITERALLY GOT RELEASED ON THE INSANITY DEFENSE DESPITE HAVING NO MENTAL ILLNESS The court painted the schizophrenic girl as the ringleader because of her schizophrenia and gave the neurotypical girl an ‘insane by proxy’ not guilty verdict cos oooo she must have just been manupulated by the scary mentally ill girl who THE COURT DECIDED WAS NOT MENTALLY ILL, WHILE RELEASING SOMEONE ELSE ON THE GROUNDS THAT SHE WAS MANIPULATED BY A MENTALLY ILL GIRL. How does the second verdict not void the first one??? And then she just got.. REPEATEDLY diagnosed with schizophrenia by SO MANY people and just kept getting sent to worse and worse adult prisons and denied parole??? she almost got raped by her roommate and she wasnt even coherant enough to explain what was happening to her parents, like fuck it was SO CLOSE! and the rapist also got off scot free and also got released because this girl who WASNT ABLE TO READ OR WRITE OR RECOGNISE HER PARENTS’S FACES ANYMORE was deemed to be capable of making up a complex story about sexual acts that she wouldnt have been able to understand even if she was a normal kid of that age... oh fucking GOD... and on top of everything else they wouldnt let her have her GLASSES in prison?? this girl who was hallucinating got treatment that limited her vision?? HOW THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO.. GOD.. CHRIST... NO WONDER SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF! and oh goddddd it says that she got to see a psychologist once FINALLY after all these years for just ONE WEEKEND before the courts dragged her back out of there and locked her up in the same prison she finally got medication and it says that in her one therapy session they explained to her what she did and she was finally able to understand it and she hated herself and then she was thrown back into her hallucinations with no help ever again fuck fuck fuck FUCK

oh fucking god thank you oh fuck it does end with saying she’s in a hospital now oh fuck oh god i was expecting this to end on just that note and for me to scream eternally at how the artcle has no information on how to donate to this family dear GOD she’s at a hospital oh fucking god but the trauma of all those years has still left her shattered and her progress is slow, apparantly :( god i wish i heard about this earlier and i could have donated to the family oh god imagine if she’d been able to get this treatment earlier oh god oh god and her mother is finally able to see her oh fuck thank god fuck it talks about her mother rushing against the traffic to not even be one minute late, always arriving early and having to sit shakily in the waiting room and then how neither of them even know what to say during these half-hour visits but the kid still freaks out so much seeing the clock tick down and just wants to sit there with her mum and hold hands in silence forever she just wants to get in the car and drive home and sleep in her own bed for the first time in so many years fuckkkkkkkk

“I can’t rescue who I want to rescue,” she acknowledged quietly. “So a kitten will have to do for now.” FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKK fuckkkk she saw a starving feral kitten on the drive to visit her daughter and ran around trying to find it again and take it to the vet just so she’d have one happy thing to tell her daughter FUCKKKKING HELLLLL

“ As we spoke that day, Angie spotted the kitten she’d come to save and cornered it. But then an adult cat emerged from the shadows and stepped protectively between them. The relationship between the two felines was clear. So, Angie returned to her car empty-handed. Sick or not, she thought, the kitten belonged with its mother. “ fuck you didnt have to end this article on some cheesy note like that, why the fuck are you doing this to me did that even actually happen or are you just trying to use journalistic metaphors to desperately make people sympathise with this poor child? cos seriously WHAT THE FUCK it is so disgusting that nobody has been giving her the barest shred of human rights, do we really have to resort to fucking kitten stories because nobody actually cares about a severely mentally ill child who has barely seen sunlight for three years due to a FUCKING LAW THAT TREATS TEN YEAR OLDS AS ADULTS

god i think im gonna puke why did i read this why is there no way i can help, oh goddd all the news every day is just more human rights atrocities i cant help with and i’m so scared im gonna either become desensitized or turn it all into wah wah what about me, feel sad for ME, wah wah i fucking feel like killing myself because i watched the news FUCKING. SHUT. UP. HEAD. thats not gonna solve anything thats not gonna make anything better oh goddd im really fucking lightheaded goddd why did i read this but i’d be a monster if i stuck my head in the sand and ignored horrible news cos i care more about myself than other people But GAHHH why cant I HELP?? i cant help either way??? where the fuck is the justice aaaarrgh all i can do is cry about these people so i feel like i have to do it, even if it doesnt help, even if it just makes me want to die god can i like.. rebalance the amount of sympathy in the world. can i somehow make the people who actually can help actually help by weeping all over my keyboard in a terrible fucking january fuck what the fuck goodness do i give back to the world, im just sitting here taking and taking and sponging off mental health government and making the world worse and FUCK how the fuck can i even say that while i’m crying ABOUT mentally ill people deserving treatment?? bunni’s shit brain: no u are the only one who doesnt deserve it in the world, somehow fuck i ‘m gonna go try and calm down fuckkkk so umm yeah warning dont read that article while you’re in a vunerable mental state but its really important to read cos like.. all i can do at least is be aware of the atrocities in the world and keep my eyes open for someday somehow where i can help.. i guess... god i think my life would actually be worth something if i could help someone else god i just want to die fuck fuck fuckkkk...

#blunni thoughts #sorry dont worry im not gonna do anything i'll be okay #i get moments like this often #feeling suicidal is a common thing but if i was feeling suicidal AND worried i couldnt deal with it this time #then i'd ask for help yeah probably probably but i dont want to be any trouble oh god #fuck fuck fuck im gonna go read stupid harry potter reviews on the internet #STOP THINKING OF YOU STOP BEING SELFISH WHAT THE FUCK YOURE JUST TRYING TO AVOID THINKING #ABOUT THE ACTUAL PROBLEM WHY IS EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU #fuck fuck fuck fuck #all i've ever fucking done is drawn some really shitty art that fails at even cheering people up #its all i can do and i dont even have skill at it #fuck i cant even take care of my own damn house i need to vaccuum everything fuck fuck fcuk #i need to think about anything else but i need to think about this too cos i need to remember other people have it worse #fuck im sorry im talking too much im sorry

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panszy · 8 years ago

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but ok seriously now i’m tired enough to ramble and not care i’m just gonna talk about undertale and how much it and its characters have changed my life for the better

ok so for the past few hours i’ve been scrolling through undertale blogs and i found a post and it just....clicked as to a big reason why i love it so much: the entire fucking game is about love. and not just romantic, it covers all kinds of love, the entire fucking point of the game at least to me is love. and this wont be coherent because it’s nearly 4 in the fucking morning and i need to sleep but it makes it one of the most heartwarming pieces of media i’ve ever seen (and become fully invested in as a result), the friendship between the characters is heartwarming, the sibling love between the skeleton brothers and royal family sblings is heartwarming, the parental love over frisk and asriel and chara is heartwarming (and heartbreaking...). and everything is so fucking human??? like i cant describe it properly really but i can read hundreds of books and not connect to characters like i do in this video game because everyone is so well rounded and have proper personalities rather than just a few character traits, it’s the way i’ve always wanted to be able to write, the personalities they have and the love they have for each other is beautiful and it’s everything to me because it’s so real???

also my favourite character is papyrus (followed by sans and undyne, who i love equally for different reasons i will probably ramble abt all three who knows??) and oh my god can i just say how much i love this character??? for being so positive all the fucking time and seeing the best in literally everyone he comes across and he’s so sweet but holy fuck it’s his optimism that really gets me because like....if you take away my depression (or not actually?? i get through it every time for a reason lmao) i’m actually also quite an optimistic person who’s able to see the good in literally everyone i meet (like i also genuinely don’t hate anyone) and sometimes it bites me in the ass, and people see it as stupid but papyrus has helped me so much to realise that it’s...not stupid??? i’m well aware that some people suck but sometimes they just need a chance?? and if they fuck up well, that’s it, but they deserve the chance right?? but also everyone treats papyrus like an innocent baby who needs to be protected, and as someone who is often talked down to because i’m optimistic and idealistic and empathetic and let my emotions guide me i can really see why papyrus is actually pretty insecure because being talked at like you’re a kid when you’re an adult feels awful!! the only thing i genuinely properly dislike about papyrus is how much he lies, how much he keeps a face up and pretends to know less than he does around his brother, how often he pretends to like things he doesnt to impress people. but like, even that’s ok because i get why he does it (lonely...) and he’s hardly gonna be flawless, there’s traits in everyone including myself that i dislike, and it feels so well rounded...like ppl often reduce his character to ‘his main character flaw is stupid’ and he’s not stupid but thats beside the point - it’s also not a character flaw like at all. and oh my god i just love him so much he brightens everything up, he’s who i aspire to be is2g (ok maybe just the core of who he is is inspiring to me - his kindess, empathy, optimism, seemingly endless). he also says things that doesnt make sense and i do the same thing, i think weirdly and my friends often ask me what the hell i’m talking about, and i jsut connect to him so much??? so so much

and fuck fuck fuck i really wanna talk about papyrus and sans because like....ok as a character i love sans, he’s my second favourite along with undyne, i do connect with him less but he’s very interesting (he’s a little overrated and mischaracterised by the fandom sometimes but i’ll let that go for now), and m a n do i connect to his laziness lmao (it’s not just caused by his depression i will fight u on this, i don’t think it helps obviously but as someone who’s depressed AND lazy i can relate on a personal level to him in that sense), but he is funny - not necessarily the awful skeleton puns but like in the ‘oh if you insist on prying me away from my work’ kinda funny, snarky asshole - and i actually really like that he’s a bit of an asshole, he likes to screw with people and he’s won’t fight you unless you’re literally going to end the entire world along with every single timeline (again though, i can really sympathise and get why he’s like this even tho i don’t really relate because he is so fucking well written), but i love that he loves papyrus so fucking much. like i’m a massive sucker for strong sibling relationships (the baudelaire orphans, the way brothers) and this just...oh man, i’m not the biggest fan of the way sans is portrayed in the fandom either but when people who agree with me on that argue that sans doesn’t even care about his brother it infuriates me because that’s...so....wrong??? papyrus is his entire fucking world, the game make that very clear, p much all he talks about is how great his brother is and it’s so cute and blindingly obvious that he means every word he says about that (even if that’s the only thing he doesn’t fuckin lie about lmao...). but i also love this relationship because they balance each other out so much, papyrus tries his best to get sans to get his life together - nagging him constantly, getting him an actual job therefore getting him out of the house, etc - but i think papyrus is also an optimist to sans’ pessimism and nihilism (for lack of a better word - depression i guess) and i think it helps sans quite a lot, or at least is something that makes him genuinely happy when he’s lost all hope. and on the flip side, sans is constantly saying really little things to pick papyrus back up when his mask of self confidence is slipping, and it’s very subtle - the main one i can think of atm is (paraphrasing) ‘me? right about something? come on bro’ or something after papyrus shows self doubt about his puzzles in the genocide route - that’s one of the more obvious ones i think but it’s there p much throughout, and god help my lack of being able to explain things because i can’t put it into words as to why i think this or why i love it so much but i think it really helps papyrus emotionally. THEN you’ve got the bad points, like the lies they constantly tell to each other and how they never fuckign open up to each other (they just project their emotional problems onto you lmao) and ohhh man the relationship between those two.... i could go on forever but i’ll shut up now

i’ve been rambling for half an hour so i’ll keep the thing about undyne shorter hopefully (nearly half 4 in the morning...fuck... .and i have shit to do tomorrow like this essay.....god) but oh man oh MAN i really love her as well?? so passionate and so PROUD of it, she’s so completely unafraid of being herself (so unlike two of the people she’s closest to - papyrus and alphys), she’s such a fun character and i relate to how passionate she is and can i also just say i LOVE hers and papyrus’s friendship nearly on par with papyrus and sans’s sibling relationship, funnily enough she also treats him like a kid like sans does but she’s very kind and it’s obvious that she cares deeply for papyrus, and their phone calls made me laugh so much (the fucking hot pants one actually made me cry with laughter, it was brilliant), she’s so much fun i love her so much

im leaving it there but this fucking video game it’s actually changed me for the better it’s quite literally my favourite thing on the planet atm, it’s gorgeous and i love it with every inch of my heart bless this fucking game i cant even put into words how much i love it it’s just!!! my god!!!!!

i genuinely havent felt like this about something since i got into mcr over 6 years ago, if that doesnt say how much i love it then nothing will tbh

#im kind enough to put it on a read more #i dont think it'll be ridiculously wrong but like...... i need to talk about this fucking video game that i love with all my heart #*ridiculously long #obvs contains spoilers but like...who hasnt been exposed to undertale spoilers lmao #update: ok this got LONG #sorry lol #undertale #SO LONG #rebecca complains #its taken over my life it's half the reason im getting nothing done but it's such a good feeling

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