#i cant WAIT im like a child
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all my friends judging me for buying these tabis 😔 you dont GET IT...
#all my friends mentioned#lcd soundsystem like lsd soundsystem like thr DAER haysuusyayusodiueosj#i cant WAIT im like a child#WAIT OMFG christmas gift From myself of course#blah blah!#not 75 stuff
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They actually took the BEST male love interest in all of the Bridgerton universe and made him into a woman destroying both his and Francesca's characters and arcs going forward.... Like I'm sorry but the gender roles Michael and Francesca have are integral to their story... The infertility, Michael inheriting all of John's estate and title....and the guilt that comes with it. They even give him John's old clothes to wear
#michael stirling#do they not realise the fucking money they lost by ommiting THE merry rake Michael Stirling#he coveted John's wife he could never do that#he got everything he never wanted from his cousin except his wife!!!!#anti bridgerton#i guess?#anyway cant wait to be called a homophobe because im sad my favorite book in the series got butchered#bridgerton#franchael#masali is stunning but essentially the only similar thing to the book now will be that john dies#thats it.#like is Francesca going to have John's baby after he dies? because Francesca would never even consider marriage or find love again if she#had a child already#that's why she choses to go to the marriage mart again!!! thats the angst!!!#Michael knowjing as her closest male relative through marriage#he has to give her away! he will lose her again when he never even had her!#and he's too guilty to let his feelings out
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act i scene i: older, childless, bachelor Barbarian!Bakugo finds you six months pregnant hiding in an empty stable during one of his clan raids--and instead of slaughtering you as a much younger him might've done...he throws you onto his cart of treasures and decides to take you home so he can start the family he never had with you and your child as his bride and baby.
#bakugo#i actually wrote a bunch out for this but i dont like it and it's too long so here you go#if i work on it some more tonight ill reblob this with it#but for now heres the premise (it's dark srry):#sh*t gets weird ofc#im imagining you got preggo at the last raid you went through but managed to survive#so it's not like you want the child anyway#and when he raids your village like lowk you dont care bc it isnt your home . plus youre not even expecting to survive#since you have no husband and are incapacitated with baby#so youre just waiting to die essentially but then this sexy barbarian saves you thinking hes being ... nice#bakugo is like. well now is a good time as any since idf like anyone in my village#and youre just like dam this sucks#anyway LMFAOOOOOO then youre in his house having this baby and the whole town is invested in this tea#and not only does bakugo have to win you over ... he has to convince u life is worth living#and that he's really gonna be the dad to your baby#you try running away after giving birth and ofc u cant do it and he has to rescue you#and youre so upset#but he washes you up and scolds you in his tongue for being stupid#and hes not gonna keep u forever if its not what u want but#he really does want the baby and you if youll have him#and everyone is rooting for him and likes u so much#even tho ur like a feral mama cat#jfalsdjkfladksjf#gen#shii posts#pregnancy tw
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the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.
he never was.
#ramblings#incoherent beyond belief its 4 am#and im trying to avoid manga spoilers#might add a reblog with more coherent thoughts when i wake up but im off my meds so i cant promise anything#actually correction im being vague w the manga spoilers#manga readers know whats up#idk if there are any anime only ppl who havent been spoiled on The Plottwist Ever yet#but i figured there will be new fans and though im not tagging this it might still get seen so#cant WAIT to see our boy absolutely miserable in animation form should they recreate that arc LMAOOO#which ofc is after the germany arc so thats still a long time away#but STILL. itd be fun i need to see this young teenager lose his mind in color with sound#him relying on sebastian to do all his fag duties (sorry. dredge) so he can work his way up the social ladder#trying to gain power while simultaneously proving that he cant do anything but rely on others#hes always needed help in basically every way and he hasnt CHANGED he just got a demon to do it for him#he learns to lie and charm and cheat and all the while hes a fucking CHILD WHO STILL STRUGGLES WITH NORMAL THINGS#ciel is my little baby and i love him deeply no matter how much of a little bitch he can be#his helplessness isnt just 'oh he was raised in british high society' its also that he never got the chance to learn anything#which to elaborate on that id also have to go into manga territory. iykyk#like absolutely at this point he just refuses to learn how to do things he has a pet demon to do it for him#but.#hi the phantomhives backstory is killing me again its so late#both atlantic and the school arc are just setup for the Big Arc but theyre very good in their own right i SWEAR#also when i rewatched the circus arc a while back and i realised how some scenes were shot#the heavy foreshadowing that i didnt realise. yk. 7 years ago or however long its been since i first watched it#CRAZY#if you are new. to kuroshitsuji. and you havent read the manga. dear god. read the manga#ALSO GRELLE IN THAT ARC IS SO BEAUTIFUL & OTHELLO IS TRANSMASCULINE. OKAY GOODBYE
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on that subject, obsessed with today when i was like "hey guys, can you two stop playing the jumping game for now because it's giving caden a headache" and my 6 yr old cousin is like "you mean 'me'. it's giving 'me' a headache, because your caden". it's like yeah man ur right. my bad . and then they stopped jumping. it was awesome
#the thing is like. the jumping hurt my headright away#but i let them do it for a while before they told them to stop. and then they did#and i think thats part of it too. for somw things you have to wait and let kids have whay they want for a while before swooping in and#asking for them to stop#so they dont feel super controlled#and like. as an autistic person I HAVE TO DO THAT ANYWAY USUALLY#there's so many adult people out there who i have to put up witj their noises because i KNOW if i ask for them to stop theyll get mad#or even on a lesser extent. like as an autistic person w my sorta issues. you have to a let a lot of things go that are genuenly painful#and stressful. bc if u ask people to do things too much they often get upset. even if theyre overall nice#same with kids#but with kids you get to ask them to stop way more and you get to ask earlier than you would with most adults#like. ill be trying to put up with somethinf and struggling and get to the ppont where im visibly shaking and stuttering and on the verge#of tears#and the mere request of 'could you turn the tv ofd#still gets whole ass adults telling me im entitled and bossy#meanwhile child will hear 'thats making me feel bad' and theyll hear that and theyll think about it#and often times theyll stop#and even when they dont they dont insult you!#and people still say little kids are annoying????#when i tell a little kid 'could you turn the sound off on the video game or take it to another room the sounds its making are upsetting me#they LISTEN.#adults have a strong tendency to#use the ironicallt imature logic of ' i like this thing. so it dosent matter if it is upsetting you. i like it so i want to have it. even#though we are in a shared space together. i wont change what im doing because i want to do the thing i like. and thats more important than#not upsetting you. because doing the thing i like makes ME feel good.'#like. litterallt this mindset is easily more promient in adults than small children 100% . on god#and its just about the most childish thing ever.#its understandable. but its immature#and with something this simple its silly people cant let that go. its not complex at all. its stop making noise it is hurting me. easy
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FOUND HEAVEN ON TOUR STARTS TOMORROW !!! i cant wait to find out the setlist oh my goddd
#if he plays the other side i will scream and cry until i cant speak anymore probably#but theres no way 😔#lets just hope for family line and at least summer child 🙏#i need to scream family line live#alex says shit#conan gray#found heaven#found heaven on tour#fhot#found heaven tour#family line#the other side#summer child#also like 2 months ago i told my mum i wasnt going to look at the setlist so i would get a surprise at my concert#anyway i forgot i dont like surprises and im desperate to know im not fucking waiting until september 😭
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most days I'm so chill with the fact I'm non-contact with my father, it was the best decision, I hate him, my life is so much more peaceful without him
then bam it's a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm sobbing because I miss having a dad, like, excuse me what is this??
#im ping ponging between its all his fault he made all those decisions to maybe he was doing what he thought was right#i barely ever had a dad so i dont know what im crying for pff#if he died tomorrow I'm not sure I'd go to his funereal I don't want him at my wedding#but sometimes I want him to just hold me and read me narnia like he did when I was 9#my parents were terrible but its cause they didnt know what they were doing but i dont know how to make peace with that#would it have killed them to be nice to me?#this is very simplified but yk#gonna go read some draco scorpius centred fanfics now to make me cry more cant wait!!#i hate him i hate him i HATE HIM I HATE HIM#but i didnt always and i dont want to but there are things you just cant take back#anywayz thats enough trauma dumping on main lmfao#if anyone has any father child centred fanfictions do let me know and give them to me plz thanks#daddy issues#are screaming#scorpius malfoy#and god do i hate his new wife#this is way too many tags im sorry to anyone whos made it down here lmfao
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i’m trying to figure out how tlovm is gonna wrap up the chroma conclave arc in just three episodes when there’s still so much to do
#i cant watch til tonight so no spoilers but like.#percys still dead scanlan in a coma scanlan needs to die and kaylie needs to see him and help in his resurrection to be the final nail in#the coffin that leads to his departure ripleys still alive. im not expecting a perfect adaptation but theyve rly lost me this szn#esp by straight up killing my man kash for no reason 😭😭#it has to end w a bards lament it just has to#i expect this to be like. a two season thing honestly but then they opened the szn w the raishan seeker assum reveal#*expected#also kinda sad they cut out keyleths call me child one more goddamn time line unless they plan to use it for the finale#im also sad they cut out kerrek and the whole ive walked through fire thing bc that was like. kinda big for keyleth#*passed through. but again unless theyre saving that for the finale so i guess ill just have to wait and see#what i genuinely dont understand is why percys still dead. i guess its for narrative purpose but theyve revived pike before so they know#they can do it so like. what’s the hold up#r.txt
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my greatest weakness is im really bad at figuring out when im supposed to end a chapter. getting the voice of these characters semi-right, remembering all lore surrounding them, googling info i need, all of that is dressing. my true greatest foe is knowing when to cut it out
#anyway al is the third wheel to a sam/bj shower party rn#bj pretty much immediately figured out something was wrong and sam desperately wants to get away from him#meanwhile al is recovering from a bite wound on his hand. and hawkeye thinks hes been abducted by aliens or something#great work everyone#.yappin#it was fun having them argue over the place and time. 'you're sure this is korea?? i was born after everyone went HOME from that war!!'#'it could be vietnam. is it vietnam? it FEELS like vietnam again'#“now its saying california” 'what do you MEAN it says im in california'#'you died in 1952' “I am clearly alive and you said it was 1953 or 1972 or 1983 so i CANT be dead in 1952"#“says he served as chief surgeon at the 4077th for 11 years” 'al. the war only LASTED THREE YEARS' “im just tellin you what im hearin!!”#“you're an only child.” 'okay-' “wait. you have a sister“ 'did she die or something? and im an only child now?' ”no“#“says your thirty. which i doubt” 'why' “if you could see yourself you'd know”#'well war ages you.' “yeah. ages you TWENTY YEARS maybe”
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been watching mlp lately ... watching colorful horses on little adventures soothes the soul ... some rarity cuz she's adorable :33
#my little pony#mlp#rarity#fanart#it. it was meant to be a clean color doodle...#but while i was eating as i drew . the noodles spoke to me.#you have to make her serve#and so i put effort into coloring it now my back hurts#if i draw more mlp idk depends on my mood i only tend to draw my bigger intense interests so. i cant promise anything:333#bjt i would like to#colorful horses are fun to draw#OOOO I REMEMBER WHEN I WAS A CHILDDDDD#I COULD NOT FIGURE OUT FOR MY LIFE HOW RO DRAW RARITY'S HAIR#she was a very xomplex figure to draw. i did not understand what was going on.#so i really didnt draw her . not that she was one of my favorites though#so i had to give her some respect for never drawing her as a child and make her the first to recieve a digital drawing after nesrly a decad#SHE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES NOW THOUGH SHE IS VERY CUTE#im still a twilight fan though . i went so crazy for her as a child until i had a brief rainbow dash phase because she emanated gender#rarity is just there tho .#wait ehat i just processed it what do tou mean almost a decade#what rhe fuck i still look 12 what do you mean its almost been a decade since i was 8. my life is falling apart
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Thought about making a ghost town au jason design but kinda bluescreened when I realized he wouldn't be a doll tbh
#ghost town is a story if mine ^v^! its mostly just design fun#and yeah ghost doll isn't a fit for jason. well maybe it could depend on time when/how he died#but both of his proper deaths ive seen he wouldn't make a doll ghost. maybe a broken or cracked doll#he gets close. so i can see it happening for him depending#doll ghostss are people who often hide their own feelings and will try to make themselves better or more appealing for others#often at the harm and loss of themselves#theres also an element of being something to display to it#so like. all of my doll aus#thinking about his batarang death. DEFINITELY a ghost thatd have their injury clear#cant tell if i want him actually drenched in blood or like. stylized blood. like that pearl necklace#kinda want him in a suit of armor tbh. for funsies. im varying between that or just his normal self#well actually i fully believe a post utrh death jason would look like his child self. but shhh we're exploring other avenues right now#i cant WAIT to finish my jason todd design so i can start dressing him up hehe#unfortunately figuring out just like. normal designs. is harder for me than au outfits so its taking me a bit -~-#and/or doll ghosts can be from incredibly passive people bc that is like attached to my previous explanations. squares and rectangles tho#not related to jason
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childe x wriothesley has potential
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#ajax#wriothesley#prisoner x guard is a classic#but also i cant stop laughing at wriothesley trying to deal with childe#with characters like zhongli or neuvilette you know they can handle childe on the virtue theyre also weirdos#but wrio.....hes just a serious guy#just some dude#i cant wait to meet him#i hope hes not boring#his design is so cool and i love the gameplay from what ive seen#his personality is lacking so far but im holding hope
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Everyone shut up and look at what I bought at the thrift store today
ID: a hello kitty CD and cassette player sits on a chair. When the play button is pressed there's a brief pause and then the screamo intro to Sticks & Bricks by A Day To Remember begins playing
#music#hello kitty#i posted this in the family group chat and my aunt said Hello Kitty probably likes my music choice lol#also my dad very proudly claimed me as his child when i mentioned i grabbed the first CD off my stack to test it#and bc theyre sorted alphabetically by artist name A Day To Remember is at the top currently lol#we love sorting 💖#im so stoked about this#i cant wait til my cassette tape gets here and i can find out if the cassette player works#i have high hopes
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I'm watching TOH with my mom rn and the moment, the exact moment, she saw Hunter in "Hunting Palismen", she went "I knew it! He's the guy from 1600!"
I was obviously confused but after a moment I realized that. She thought Hunter was Philip Wittebane. She realized she was wrong based on my reaction, but.
Holy shit. What. My mom did not just make the connection between Hunter and Philip Wittebane 1 second after seeing Hunter's face. Wtf mom??
#toh#the owl house#tohkilledme posts#toh hunter#the owl house hunter#oh i cant WAIT until we get to 'hollow mind'!!#after prodding my mom a bit morr abt why she thot this (bc 'they look similar'??) she made the conclusion that hunter#she made the conclusion that philip* fell in love w a witch akd had a half-human half-witch child#and that child is hunter#this feels like im making shit up bc holy shit???? mom. mom. wtf.#philip wittebane#toh philip wittebane
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ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
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once again thinking about a version of the story where 13 lands in sheffield three years earlier when ryan and yaz are still sixteen and a whole lot angrier
13 turning out a bit more immature bc she spends her first twenty-four hours after regenerating with these reactive and kinda fucked up kids. ryan dealing with grace and graham recently getting married or getting ready to get married. probably feeling abandoned by his grandmother after his mother and father. feeling alone with his grief. maybe kinda just has tibo to confide in. yaz meanwhile is in hell getting bullied and either recently got driven home from a running away attempt and is now dealing with the familial aftermath of that, or is planning the running away. maybe kiiiiiiinda just has sonya to confide in but probably not really. probably doesnt confide in anyone
13, still malleable and fluid, running into these messed up teenagers who reflect all her own lonely angry betrayed abandoned feelings back to her, shaping herself in response to them. they dont trust her at all to start with, but i think she'd win yaz over in a similar way she does in canon, presenting herself as an authority who listens and understands. perhaps slightly more the understanding than authority part at this point in yaz's life. maybe she lands in front of yaz actually in the hills before anita can get there. yaz is like "where the fuck did you come from" and shes like "um the troposphere i think" and yaz is like "how are you not dead" and shes like "oh i was! but then i decided maybe i shouldnt be. so. now im here :) with you!" and that kinda strikes a chord with yaz. and then the doctor's like "do you happen to have a sandwich in that backpack im starving"
then aliens happen and once they run into ryan, yaz is already won over and she and ryan recognise each other and she convinces him that, like, no shes not nuts, theres definitely aliens shes seen them
11x1 would go entirely differently obviously. maybe grace wouldnt die and graham wouldnt travel. ryan maybe decides to travel a little bit out of spite and home doesnt really feel like home, and yaz isnt having fun at home or at school either and she was running away anyway so this is not a hard decision
the emotional instability and bad decision counter of a team tardis thats just 16-year-old yaz and ryan and 13 is kind of amazing to imagine. it'd be so volatile but they'd love each other so much i think they'd be the best friends bc instead of starting off closing herself off from grief, 13 would start off having her justified and irrational anger sort of validated and coaxed out i think by yaz's and ryan's. in the tardis between the three of them there would be a place to express "nobody cares about me" whether thats true isnt the point, i think theyre all feeling it a little bit. "everyone just moved on like mum didnt matter/'tell an adult' like what are they gonna do?/okay it wasnt all their faults but all my friends are dead" you know? i think they'd be heard with each other and i think there'd be space for the injustice of it all and especially as the doctor is like a children's advocate most of all, she would take ryan and yaz seriously in a way i think they wouldnt have been by any other adult in their lives at that point. and in return they, just by being there as they are, would make room for the hurt child that 13 is and will turn out to be
and i dont have details for this but i think it would be really nice if the way 13 listens and takes seriously yaz and ryan in the first season (not like consciously or deliberately or anything, shes not trying to Do anything, this is just who the doctor is) would be mirrored in the second and/or the third when they have calmed down a bit, dealt with some of their issues at home, talked to some family members, become a little less depressed and angry etc, and they return the way she treated them when she finds out abt the timeless child and tecteun. she took their anger seriously and she took them seriously when they said "this isnt fair" and in return they can take her anger seriously, probably are angry on her behalf, and they can stop her from overcorrecting from like being 10 by pointing out to her that this isnt fair and shes allowed to be angry abt it
and when yaz inevitably gets a crush i think it shows up as a kind of out of character/seemingly regressive prickliness and snappiness toward the doctor getting more intense over the course of s12 that ryan and the doctor first are puzzled by bc like sure in the first half of s11 maybe they were all a bit snappish with each other but theyve been friends for like a year now whats this about all of a sudden? and yaz is like Nothing!!!! it's nothing!!! piss of!!! bc shes having feelings she doesnt know what to do with or how to interpret so theyre just manifesting as Angery. that same need to prove herself + probably worry abt the doctor as in canon except a lot more combative and a lot less inhibited. shes probably picking fights abt everything the doctor tells her to do. trying to provoke the doctor into actually getting mad and yelling at her or, god forbid, grabbing her, shoving her, using her hands bc yaz wont listen to words. sometimes youre 17 and horny and you dont understand you want one of your two friends in the world to kiss you bc it hasnt occurred to you that girls kissing girls is a thing that can happen. ryan figures it out first
in this version ryan probably stays until the end too - or the same as in revolution happens and yaz feels betrayed that he'd give up on the doctor so easily and feels alone in the entire world again - graham and dan wouldnt come into the picture. ryan's and yaz's family would come into the picture a little more actively. theres a lot of plot to figure out that i cant and it would be a very different era in many ways but i think it would be nice
#if i could figure out plot i'd write it but it's really not my forte#it's been 4 years and im still turning this era every which way trying to wring a bit of catharsis out of it#i think it would be nice esp bc like i said i think the doctor mainly is a children's advocate#and i think it would be nice if like. that got reflected back to them#like.......i cant articulate this clearly#like in the end nobody even knows abt the timeless child right?#it's just twisted stories in villains' hands and we dont even have a name#i imagine the doctor seeing ryan and yaz as the people they are when they meet#and in return they can see her and the child she was later on#nobody fucking knows!#and im not saying like oh she should tell everyone the trauma or whatever#i just feel like#who honoured this child?#who saw her?#i feel like theres a kind of opportunity there if ryan and yaz are still younger#also they were 19 in canon they shouldnt have been so fucking put together!#they were way too emotionally stable#even for 19#but i think it'd be more fun if they are 16 and truly In The Midst Of The Horrors#also i want to see thasmin play out with yaz barely 20 and their dynamic built on this.......teenage solidarity i guess#like im sure ryan would be the one to figure it out but how does he react?#does he point it out in front of the two of them or does he ask yaz once when theyre alone#like in a scene at the end of 12x7 like 'so do you like her or smth?'#and shes like 'no! what? no!'#and hes like 'are you sure. like im not homophobic it's fine but'#and shes like 'w aht the fuck are you talking about' bc shes actually like what the fuck is he talking abt#but then later in bed shes like 'wait..........wait' and has a crisis abt it#(this doesnt improve the weird irritability re: the doctor. and then she Dies. and that does NOT improve the weird irritability)#and then if ryan stops travellin gin revolution then flux starts with yaz being aware shes in love with the doctor#and the doctor probably too. does this change things??
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