#i cannot fucking stand the smell of Dog it hate it and its disgusting i hate Dog they fucking reek

[akascow]

idk if this is just a me thing but so many random things smell like Dog that should have no business smelling like Dog

like plastic waterbottles sometimes

or tap water from a restaurant

when someone goes for a walk outside

just caught a whiff of a tissue

and its all just Dog

[dndfuckhouse]

session 33 - Introductions and Invitations

> 🎵   Sword Search on Koholint Island / LOZ: Link’s Awakening (2019) OST.

After having spent the whole of the morning walking around the group find themselves drawn to the smell of fish wafting around the city square and head over towards the nearby café to refuel themselves over lunch.

After being greeted by the upbeat waitress they seat themselves and begin pondering the menu. The feeling of the bright midday sun beating down on their heads while the cool seaside breeze blows through keeps them company amongst the townspeople in the city square.

Cimmorro: the image rn is finn cimm han plum rokka in the same table..... psalm also but at the edge??? Chip: dnd cafe marching order being determined rn Celebrity Guest Aki: WHY DOES THIS SOUND SO UNBALANCEDD Rokka: BC IT IS Psalm: achieving total mental blankness trying to imagine this Keva: 

Finn: im ordering nothing because i literally cant eat or drink Psalm: just ask for the bloodwine alone Finn: yeah ill just inconspicuously ask for fish blood in isolation Plum: they got that just for you actually the blood drink, god put that on there for you finn Psalm: yeah we called ahead

Noticing Keva struggling with the menu, Cimmorro moves to lend her a land subtly. Meanwhile Plum tells Finn they can order the dish that comes with fish blood and split it with him if he’d like.

Keva: she's not really looking at the menu much.... you probably just see her watching everyone else and checking the number on the menu for the thing they order Cimmorro: okay well he's going to look at you for a good second, contemplating if he should offer to help but realizes that might be a bad idea so he's just going to go get the waitress' attention and go like "what would be your best sellers here? and what you would recommend?" Cherry: she hums and thinks "i'd say the sea bed or the prawn's eyes usually sell pretty well! the salty dog ale is a local specialty as well, id recommend it if you aren't made queasy easy" she says with a laugh Keva: trying to picture wtf sea bed and salty dog could mean Cimmorro: (dwfl he wanted to order the sea bed) cimm nods at her and looks at the menu "10 sp for the sea bed... fish and bread sounds appealing today huh i'll have one," he says alla this w/ intention for keva to hear. and adds, "i think i'll just have a glass of water though, thanks" Keva: she looks at cimm for a moment, silently feeling grateful, and says "same as him" tilting her menu a bit towards cimm and hands the menu back

Plum: plum turns to finn and says "i could order this," and points to the caver's treat, "and you could have the cup of blood that comes with it, if you're hungry." Finn: hes already spacing out when plum suddenly speaks to him, whipping his head around a little startled. "oh" admittedly, finn wasn't hungry, or thirsty, but plums attentiveness does touch him a little. he nods. "that is very kind of you plum... if you truly do not mind, then ... id appreciate that." Plum: "sure, no problem" plum says to finn and takes a sip from their drink. they wave the waitress over to order one ＣＡＶＥＲ＇Ｓ ＴＲＥＡＴ 

The Group’s Orders ~ 🐟

Plum: Reaver’s Luck, Caver’s Treat Rokka: Berried Salmon, Reaver’s Luck Psalm: Berried Salmon Han: The Phoenix, Fishers Teeth (takeout - Caver’s Treat ) Keva: Sea Bed Cimmorro: Sea Bed

Taking the orders, the waitress gives a nod and scuttles off. After a small wait the dishes are brought out, the scent of fish overpowering the place. The group find their meals appetising and begin to dig in and chatter amongst themselves. Finn stealthily transfers the bloodwine into a cup of his own he can discretely drink from while Keva wraps and saves a slice of the bread for later consumption.

Finn: he clinks his glass with plum to thank them for the fish but before he takes a sip he blinks "oh... what are we to do with the fish plum?" Plum: they clink their mug with finn's and then gives him a confused look. after a moment they look like they're trying not to laugh a little. "what made you think i wasn't gonna...eat it?" plum asks before picking up a fork. Finn: "i simply thought it might be a bit much.. is all.." feeling a little stupid for having asked now. "and it is meant to be eaten with the blood after all.. " Plum: "oh, nah. it was two gold pieces so i'd better finish it, honestly," plum says and starts eating. "also i don't really want the blood," they stop and make a hand gesture as if to say that finn can just go ahead and enjoy the blood himself. Finn: he fails to control himself and finish listening to plum, chugging the glass in one go, feeling particularly satisfied and sated for now.  "ah, please... i will pay for it of course, you ordered this for my sake" he says quickly as if he didnt just drink that like a possessed man Han: finns eyes do the cat silly time thing Cimmorro: yess finn goo you fucking horse Han: vibrates in his chair cause he got the blood zoomies

Plum: "or we can just split it" plum says casually, not saying anything at the change in finn's demeanour for a moment there. it'd probably be rude to seem a bit surprised.

Rokka: “LOOKING GOOD” Cimmorro: "kinda pog as they say...." cimm gives his thanks to wee jasus christ and begins to eat in a decent pace... just focused on eating Rokka: halfway through chewing rokka talks with his mouth full, "watsh pogh" Cimmorro: cimm looks disgusted at you, once again, for talking with your mouth full. and just goes. "oh you know like- [does the pog face for a split second]" before going back to his food though he looks up at you again the next second and goes like "oh right. rokka, here." he slides 35gp across the table to you. "for the time at nickels." and he just goes back to eating Rokka: "ohhh so then if i wanted to say my food is "pog" i can just [makes the pog face]?" he looks down at the money "oh! you didn't have to pay me back....thanks though!" le pockets money Han: han goes (mgs ❗ noise) and starts fishing in her side pocket too "wait i owe you for bedroll and rope" and hands rokka X gold Rokka: he then turns to han "WHAT!!! NO, NO ITS OKAY!!" he tries to push it back to han Han: she doesn't even touch it again and goes back to food "i dont like being in debt" Rokka: he stares at the xgp before reluctantly taking it seeing as han refusing to take it back "alrigghtt. thanks hannn" Han:  😇 Psalm: he watches Rokka’s exchanges for a moment. "It just occurred to me that now would be a good time for that drink you owe me." Cimmorro: cimm looks at rokka and psalm and goes "i'm starting to learn that it's a bad idea to be in debt to you psalm" Psalm: "I think I'm pretty fair all things considered 😇 " Cimmorro: he just sighs and goes back to his food

Rokka: his head whips over to psalm like !!!!! "i-WHAT--oh! yeah....do you.......want to share my drink?" Psalm: "No I don't...?" Rokka: well, then.......what do you want?" Psalm: "One salty dog ale please (: ." Han: did chip plan for this joke. its too perfect? Psalm: WAIT YOU'RE SO RIGHT  Han: I LEGIT THOUGHT IT WAS A GAG U WERE DOING AND LOOKED AT THE MENU Chip: LIFE FINDS A WAY....

Ghester: you hear a chuckle in your head followed by a voice that says "well he's a good sportsman about it" Psalm: "It was his idea to play." Rokka: he looks around "HUH WHAT?!"  Ghester: "that makes a person more reluctant sometimes" he then laughs at rokka's reaction Psalm: he scoffs. Rokka: he abruptly stands up from the table and shaking the table in the process "OK WHATS GOING ON"

Getting agitated by Ghester’s repeated remarks, Rokka bolts up from his seat ending all other conversation in his wake, the rest of the party stares at him, grabbing their plates instinctually in case he flipped the table over. The waitress in the meanwhile hands Pslam his newly purchased drink on Rokka’s dime.

Ghester: "oh he's gotten excited" says the voice Rokka: “WHO!?” Psalm: psalm is just drinking casually

Cimmorro: when rokka finally settles down, cimm just looks at him like 🤨 before looking at psalm again, "speaking of being fair, why don't you tell us about your little friend... ghester? you said you'd tell us about them, no?" Psalm: * doesn't remember what he said * "Yeah alright. I introduced Plum and you already right?" Cimmorro: he nods "introduced us... but we don't even know who or what you introduced us to" Rokka: just looking up at the sky like "....hello?" Plum: they had jumped at rokka's reaction but at the mention of their name by psalm they think they can guess what's happening now. Finn: he was gonna reply to plum but because of all the commotion his attention is focused on psalm rn, but he is bouncing his leg under the table Keva: she just has no idea what's going on

Psalm: "Your guess is honestly as good as mine." @ ghester "You want to explain? I myself am not really sure what to say." Ghester: he chuckles before speaking into the rest of your heads "hmm... well you may call me ghester. i am a companion of sorts to your lovely friend psalm here. pleasure to meet you" Rokka: "ghost...........?" side eyes psalm Psalm: "No I don't think that's quite it." Rokka: “then what?” Psalm: he just shrugs Rokka: rokka slowly nods as if he gets it but he doesnt

Keva: she jumps a bit "what the fuck" Plum: plum shivers at the sudden voice in their head. "i really thought the cult would be the weirdest thing with y'all and yet." Han: she squints her eyes "can you like, read our minds? do you have a body? are you stealing psalms...?" han leans in quizzically and stares at psalm Ghester: he laughs "no i cannot read anyone's mind, not even his. nor do i hold any control over him, i dont think he'd quite appreciate me doing it even if i could" he thinks "i dont have a body, though i feel like maybe i did once, a funny thought to have these days" Han: she pouts thoughtfully but her brain is actually empty "hmmm" Cimmorro: damn so no cock penis? Han: hate your ass Finn: im just imagining the voice of the book from nier rn for this guy Chip: YOU SHOULD THATS HIM Plum: oh my god that was the decided voice, thats so horrible Han: liam obrien haunts us everywhere

Finn: he does squint at psalm, but he thinks that ghester’s voice is quite pleasant so its not like its a huge hassle. after psalm told them about this, at least. he is a bit irritated over having thought he was hallucinating it a while ago. Plum: "doesn't sound like he's been with you for too long"  Psalm: "It's been a couple weeks. Maybe a month." Plum: "wow, that's shorter than i expected. i've already known you fuckers for a week by now." Cimmorro: he just kinda looks confused towards psalm and responds to ghester "uhh huh... are you the reason why he coughs smoke or..." Psalm: he’s just blinking at Cimm like oh you saw that lol whoops Ghester: "not directly, but its related. i guess you could say im a conduit for his magic. in charge of watching over him" Cimmorro: just shaking his head at psalm and how he said they've only been together for a short time... like what is wrong with yall

Finn: "and you just.... hid this from us?" Ghester: he chuckles at you finn "thats a funny response" Finn: "im sure it is after youve messed with all our heads" bouncing his leg quicker Psalm: "What reason would I have to tell you? It's not like I've known any of your for all that long." Plum: looking at finn like you good bro Finn: "if you didnt want to tell us you should do better to keep your parasite out of our minds then" Ghester: "ooh quite harsh" Psalm: “Right? Yeesh. Why am I being put on trial here? He called you a parasite (lol)."  Cimmorro: "i get the feeling that you don't wanna share more about this. but i just wanna know if you communicating with the rest of us like this won't harm us in any way..."  no video game rpg sanity drain so to speak Keva: squinting like wtf does magic do to you...... is orin okay...... Ghester: "oh nothing to worry about there, my job is to keep him safe. If you are his friends then this extends to you as well, quite the opposite of harm" he turns his attention back to you psalm and laughs at his joke Cimmorro: cimm just hums at this, not entirely convinced but it's good for now Finn: just staring at you for a moment longer before looking away, expecting psalm to understand without actually saying anything because he's awful. Psalm: Psalm just 🤨 ...? and just decides to go back to his drink. Finn: finn: dear uncle, ive witnessed another cringe moment. this is number 10 in the top15 list

Psalm: "I think friends is generous :j , but rest assured that for now your life isn't being slowly siphoned away from you or whatever it is youre worried about. At least I don't think it is /s" Ghester: "i wonder why you would even put the thought out...? Psalm: "Because it's funny?" Ghester: [sigh] Plum: "thanks, i feel a lot better about that now." Rokka: just staring at u dead on sarcasm flying over "wait......HAVE U BEEN FEEDING OFF ME"  Ghester: he laughs jovially at you "theres nothing on you to eat dear boy" Han: han thinks 'damn... does he mean rokka has no brains to eat....'

Han: she thinks for a bit "do you have big range? before you cannot hear us?" Ghester: "hmm from wherever our good man here is standing i can hear about 120 or so feet...granted you yell when you are far away that is" Han: "does that mean you hear through psalm? and here i thought you would be useful for undercover work" han sighs a bit Psalm: "I have to agree with you on that one. Kind of disappointing." Ghester: "not necessarily, if he cant hear i still can. i can talk to you all if you are all that far away as well even if he himself isnt close" @ psalm "and here i thought you were my one ally at this table" Psalm: :j Han: "oh hmmm... that suppose that is useful..." han thinks abt strategies.. Keva: she sarcastically mumbles "just what i always wanted, a ghost from i don't know where doing god knows what, listening in on whatever i'm doing" Ghester: he laughs Rokka: he mumbles to himself after hearing this "scary..." Cimmorro: well then he stifles a small laugh and looks at keva "what could possibly go wrong, yeah?" Keva: "can't think of a single thing" Psalm: "It's thanks to him (and plum) we didn't lose your money to Rickert though. So I'd say for now the pros are more than the cons." Ghester: "oh such rare praise"  Cimmorro: "oho is he not always this nice to you?" Ghester: "tis' a heavy burden i carry" Psalm: "Stop framing it like I'm picking sides" Ghester: [laugh] Plum: "true, and he's more personable than his host," plum says jokingly Psalm: "Alright, alright already." psalm waves everyone off Han: han is like 👁  but also snorting at this

Cimmorro: "aww you poor thing... psalm be more nice... i think ghester does care about you, you know... he immediately went to me when you were unconscious." Psalm: he just rolls his eyes  Ghester: "well... as far as charges go i could have been given far worse" you feel a warm presence before he snickers "try not to bully him too much" Han: "far worse?" Ghester: "hmm well imagine if i were companion to someone completely silent...now that would be a trial" Han: she ponders the previous thought "you are right (@ ghester) at least psalm is funny sometimes." Psalm: 🤨 "Okay, pester Psalm hour is over now. Hope you all had your fun." SWATS THE AIR IN FUTLITY Ghester: [laugh] Plum: they wants to say we're not even talking to you we're talking to ghester but they'll leave him alone Keva: she snorts at the try not to bully him and pops a piece of bread into her mouth Cimmorro: he smiles at the warmth but also "no bullying, not even in your honor? you are so humble, king..." and just laughs at psalm swatting everyone off Psalm: "I try." Ghester: he laughs "you'll be fun to be around im sure" Keva: "oh he likes you" like someone talking abt a pet taking a liking to someone  Cimmorro: "he knows how to pick them... " he laughs and responds to ghester "if you ever change your mind on bullying psalm, you know who to call"

Plum: "you changed your mind pretty fast, huh?" @cimmorro​, plum is amused they're not making fun of him Cimmorro: "oh i'll still get him whenever i can. just leaving the offer with ghester in case he wants to join in." Plum: "oh, i meant on warming up to psalm's mind demon in the first place, but true" plum says Cimmorro: "oh well he's a charmer. what's not to like" he laughs Plum: "agreed" Ghester: "flattery will get you everywhere" Plum: "hah, i guess that's true ain't it." flattery's not really their thing, but they give an amused laugh.

Finished with their food and their curiosity over Ghester for the moment sated, some of the party get up to go pay for their meals while others continue to sit and chat. As they do Han continues messing about and pulling Ghester’s attention over.

Han: she covers her mouth with her hands and whispers to herself "ghesterrrrr can you hear me? tell psalm he looks like a strawberry." then get distracted and moves her hands "actually, can you move things? or are you simply ghostly" Ghester: "i cannot. lest i am a weapon psalm has willed me into and is...well using me to move things" a beat passes "all these ghost comparisons are amusing" Han: "ooooh... maybe living weapon... cool :D" Psalm: "He's what I've been fighting with this entire time." Keva: she’s gonna get up and head to the counter where she spies people paying for their food, and as she passes psalm she kinda gives a little shrug like "i tried" to change the subject lol Psalm: psalm nods, benedict cumberbatch salute

Han: she has lightbulb moment "your weapon that seems to change every time i look? and that you never actually carry on you?" Psalm: "Yes that would be the one."

To drive the point home psalm has Ghester discreetly apperate in his hands as a short sword for Han.

Cimmorro: psalm like yosuke persona 4 pulling out his katanas at the convenience store and gets arrested for it Psalm: I ASSUME EVERYON EELSE HER JUST HAS WEAPONS HONESTLY LIKE I THOUGHT THAT Cimmorro: NO ONE WHIPS IT OUT IN A RESTO Psalm: HDG WELL I DO NOW Cimmorro: AND THEN WE HANDED PSALM CHAN OVER TO THE POLICE

Han: "ghester, can i have you?? it would be super useful to change from bow to glaive in second.." han is v excited now Finn: he’s getting up yet, being intrigued by an ever changing weapon........but he feels too awkward to actually comment on it. he thinks han's reaction is kinda cute. Ghester: he laughs jovially again "sadly you cannot have me, him and i are bound. you'll have to look elsewhere, though im flattered by the thought" Han: "aww booo" han pouts and flicks at the sword (if its in arms reach anyway) Psalm: "I'm amazed you even asked honestly." on the outside psalm is :/ but on the inside psalm is like 😏 Han: HAN LOOKS AT PSALM PUZZLED Psalm: PSALM JUST LOOKS BACK AT HER LIKE WHAT? Han: she shrugs and lets it go

Chip: the pact is marriage <3 Keva: exactly, ordained by psalm's patron Psalm: why areyou trying ot homewreck me he's happily married Cimmorro: damnn psalm already taken before this campaign even started... how can we homewreck that beautiful marriage Chip: next quest Psalm: OI

Having had their fun messing with Psalm the rest of the group get up to go pay for their meals. The party idle around deciding what to do next, as they chat Han orders and waits for an additional meal to be prepared for her to take back to the Swallow’s Perch for Ferrie and the others.

> 🎵  Village of Rynoka / Moonlighter OST

Han: oh before everyone starts leaving han is like "oh oh oh, ferrie chris insists everyone stay at the swallows perch.. its free food and bed " Rokka: "WHAT"  Han: "yea :D" Finn: finn gives you this look 🤨 Han: "you included" Rokka: rokkas tail wagging at mach speed bc free roof and food epic!!!  "THATS AWESOME!!! TIME TO GO PACK THEN" he quickly gets up and immediately heads home to do as he said Han: han waves bye :D.... Rokka: waving in the distance as he runs off Finn: "i ... see" he cringes at the fact that he will need a new residence soon, and that this is the most convenient option. however, he absolutely doesn't want to be stuck with the others. bad enough that they'll have to travel together for so long

The group split off their separate ways, Han sticking around to wait for her food, though Finn also sticks around to continue chatting with her about Ferrie’s offer.

Finn: finn rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "ugh. not much of a choice, is it?" he pulls up his scarf more before continuing. "if you want me to stay so badly theres something youll have to do for me first." Han: HAN LOLS INTERNALLY and cocks a hip "what might that be? dont overestimate how badly i want you" Finn: finn makes a grimace, you can tell from his visible eyes. "ive no interest in women, give that up this instant" (so full of himself he believes that) he begins rubbing his temples. "anyway, itll give you an opportunity to be closer to me, i suppose." and motions for you to come closer Han: han guffaws "what?? and i have little interest in small men that cant handle me. whats that got to do with your favour?" she seems entertained and leans in Finn: finn is confused by hans push and pull, was she hoping to charm him somehow like this? when she leans in he yanks her down more to a comfortable level (by her hair) and whispers  "i will say this as clear as i can to" an insult lies in the tip of his tongue but his scolding uncle appears in his mind "you. i want you to stealthily move my coffin to that inn, once i have to leave my quarters. youre the strongest so i trust youre capable. ill reward you if need be" Chip: WHY IS THIS THE GREEN M&M COPYPASTA JUDE ? Cimmorro: P;'TLQ30TO305O-0RQOFASF CHIP ILL ILLL MAUL YOUHG Finn: finns done fighting w cimm he needs someone new to hate him Psalm: finn's moral compass is his uncle its not even an angel devil him situation, its vorde

Han: han’s entertained demeanour drops immediately as her hair gets grabbed and shes mad and even madder that she didn't catch that so she just grabs finns hand painfully as he holds her hair and whispers with contained anger without even listening to whatever finns saying "dont do that. if you want to play friendly." Finn: he winces when she grabs his hand like that. normally he would not yield just yet but a fight in direct sunlight, with their bulkiest party member, is not what he needs. he lets go of her hair quickly. "i assumed it was fine to be playful around you. my apologies." <- genuinely meaning this Han: han is silent for a second "... just not the hair" and she drops finns hand "what did you say you need" Finn: "note taken. not the hair." he rubs his hand before going on his tip toes to talk to her instead this time. "i need you to move my coffin the day i move out. but obviously i dont want the whole city to see us with that thing, if you catch my drift." taking on a neutral, dry tone. Han: han thinks briefly "consider it done. i can burrow the inns cart and hide your coffin... actually, what exactly .. is it." Finn: finn blinks a little in surprise, not having expected her to still do it after he's pissed her off. his eyes get a little bigger, 🥺 like. "you will? i.. thank you. we can work out the details closer to my departure..." Han: han is like augh 🙄  at the puppy eyes bc she is immune to them "yea, just tell when to show up" Finn: "ill let you be on your way then." going off his tippy toes and waving goodbye for now Han: han waves him bye too......... cherry wheres my takeaway Cimmorro: how yall going to explain to ferrie chris abt finn's coffin Keva: dont worry about it its his burden to bear Celebrity Guest Aqua: His jesus cross to drag

After waiting a few more minutes Han is handed her takeaway, she soon scuttles her way back to the Swallow’s Perch with the meal, heading in she notes that Cimmorro isn’t back yet either. She promptly hands the food over before getting ready to work on the clock for the rest of the day. Layne joyfully takes the lunch as its handed to him, Ferrie steals a bite from it as well while Jessep stares at it and remarks he's full. 

Soon after the two’s conversation, Finn heads back to the blacksmiths to get his rapier worked on for the day, finding no need to head over to the Swallow’s Perch for the moment. The rest of the party head to their inns to prepare and transfer their belongings over, Plum and Cimmorro however make a brief stop off at Vinny’s store first to check in on the goings on and to see if he’s returned yet.

The two glance at the building once they reach it, though it doesn’t exactly look to be open. Squinting through the window they see Cole bumbling around behind the counter in the back. Cimmorro waves at her from beyond the window though she doesn't seem to notice prompting Plum to knock on the glass instead.

Cole: you see her head swoop over like : D ? before she recognizes the two of you, and comes over to the front door, appears it was locked after all, as she wrangles it open the bell jingles "hey guys!" Cimmorro: cimm goes hiya and asks her if everything's been good around Plum: "hiya, i'm just here to buy one or two things" Cole: "yep I've just been cleaning up since vinny still isnt back" she tilts her head with a sigh before turning to you a bit more chipper plum  "oho... were closed but ill make an exception for my new pal" she gives you a wink and ushers you in Plum: they jump a little at that and are a bit embarrassed now. a bit red, they scratch the back of their head and say, "i mean, you don't have to. i was just lookin' for shit to buy for my mom and pop before they got here... nothing serious." Cole: "aw dont worry about it, and if its something that easy then its all good for me to let ya nose around" she smiles as she waves her hand Cimmorro: "still no show huh, don't have any news when he'll be back too?" Cole: she frowns as she walks over to the counter "no... but if he isn't back tomorrow ill go over and see if they'll let me poke my head in..." she shakes her fist "he's...got important obligations here... yknow!" next to her one of the cats on the counter meows Cimmorro: he leans over and tilts his head looking at the cat "indeed, very important obligations." he pats the cat's head. "oh but don't get into trouble trying to get him though haha... in any case i oughta be going but i'll be peeking in from time to time. let him know i'm looking for him if you get the chance though, yea? thanks cole" he gives her a smile before gesturing to plum that he'll be heading back first Cole: she folds her arms "aauugh guards and wizards.... but sure thing, i'll...twist their arms somehow!" she gives you a cheery wave as you trot off Cimmorro: he kinda just smiles while shaking his head at that as he walks on off Plum: plum waves goodbye to cimmorro. they're kinda curious because they thought cimmorro was gonna buy something but whatever.

Going off ahead Cimmorro trots off back to the Swallow’s Perch noting Vinny still hasn't been able to return to his own store just yet. Walking back he gets a quick idea and shoots off a sending spell towards him to ease his mind over Cole and Ezra’s current statuses.

Cimmorro: "yoohoo, this is cimmorro. we found cole and ezra all safe and well. they've been back at your store since yesterday. no need to worry." Vinny: after a brief pause you hear a quiet sigh of relief in your head followed by words said in a whispered hush "i cant quite speak right now but. thank you so much, i mean that genuinely" followed by the typical silence Cimmorro: cimm scrunches his face a bit but will continue going abt his merry way then

Soon after he makes his way back to Swallow’s Perch, second after Han, and settles in their shared room. In the meantime Plum takes the time to pick out a few items from the store shelves as gifts for their family, chatting with Cole once they bring them back over to the counter to purchase them.

Chip: the cat seems to stare at you for the duration of this transaction Plum: "what's this one's name?" Cole: she turns her head and scratches its head "this ones coal"  Plum: plum snickers. "what? did vinny name this one before or after meeting you??" Cole: she laughs "before! before! this guy here's my senior teaching me the ropes" the cat starts purring Plum: "right, how long have you been round here again?"  Cole: she stretches back thinking "hmmmmm a year ago now...probably two actually" she scratches her chin "it's a nice city though, the airs so ...fresh around here even though its so busy" Plum: "yeah it is nice. too bad i'm not sticking around for much longer, i wanted to see the ocean better  " plum says, mostly conversationally. "anyways, thanks for the stuff. and good luck getting that wizard lady to let go of vinny, also." plum huffs out a laugh. "poor guy." Cole: she pumps her fist "im getting him back here at some point at least! maybe ill wrangle ezra into it..." she thinks to herself before turning back "you should head down to some of the docks soon, they're real fun for peoplewatching" she says with a smile walking over with you back to the front door Plum: [pumps fist in return] "maybe i'll do that later then, thanks. seeya." Cole: she sees you out with a wave and locks the door behind you as it jingles, getting back to...you're not sure what she was doing actually. Finn: PLUM GOT HER ROUTE UNLOCKED Han: DONT SQUANDER UR CHANCE FOR A CUTE GF Plum: i will Han: oTL

Content with their purchases Plum heads back to their inn to begin their transfer to the Swallow’s Perch. Slightly ahead of them, Psalm and Rokka return to the Hole in the Wall and get the few things they have all sorted to go. 

Heading out they note that at the front desk this time appears to be Artie as opposed to the other two employees that work there, perhaps they have their hands full with something at the moment. He silently notes the duos departure and mail transference with a surly nod. 

Artie: at mention of the swallow’s perch he tilts his head and remarks “good place. got decent pie there” sending you on your way Psalm: "Also, if  Ruth and Esther Brimdrorvi come looking for me can you direct them down the street  please." Artie: he nods silently Psalm: Nice Rokka: i give artie my farewells and wait for psalm bc wynaut 

> 🎵   A Tavern on the Riverbank / The Witcher 2 OST 

The two make their way to the inn next door, after a bit of chatter with Layne he leads them upstairs and directs them to the empty rooms they have upstairs on the first floor, adjacent to Cimmorro and Han’s shared room. 

Rokka: "what room are u going to?" Psalm: "I have no preference." That being said he just goes up to the first empty room he finds and opens the door. Rokka: he nods and walks a little further down the walkway and goes into the second room

The two each take an empty room for themselves, forcing those who show up afterwards to decide who they’d prefer to room with. Across the street Keva also checks out of the Out and Inn similarly asking for her mail to be rerouted. At the counter are the two twins who quickly send her on her way

Flinn and Pin: they remark that one of the dwarves there will give you beer at a discount if you tell him a funny joke, but do not specify which one. Keva: she makes a face like 🤨 but with an amused smile "okay... thanks?" and heads over to the swallow's perch

As Rokka and Psalm settle in across the way, Cimmorro in his room takes has a thought and decides to shoot off another sending spell to another important recipient.

Cimmorro: "ulle!!! it's your cimmy. i wanted to show off what i can do now ehehe i'm going to be so cool when i get back" <--- he sounds very excited Ulle: you hear a confused sound in your head in response before spluttering noises and a response "whoa i was-bleh, eating a sandwich just now you scared me! haha this is so cool hey hey mahalia ! cimmorro just spoke to me-" before it cuts off

As Han’s shuffling about and doing some menial tasks around the rooms on the first floor she overhears the sending spell and pokes her head in to spy on Cimmorro. At the same time Keva soon arrives at the inn, getting the same spiel from Layne downstairs she heads up to the first floor hallway staring at which room to pick while Han blocks one of the doorways.

Keva: she does not want to room with psalm and his spying ghost. she does not want to room with rokka bc headache. she does not want to room with han bc headache........... but she figures she has to talk with cimm anyway so........ least of the evils Chip: women and cimm united front Cimmorro: clerics who respect women

Han: "were you talking to someone?" Cimmorro: cimm plops his back into his bed, completely relaxed and thanks wee jas in his head "ohhhh... this is one of the best things you've ever let me have!! thank you, thank you, lady wee jas >_<" and then notices han come in and acknowledges her. "hm? i was casting a spell... did you need anything?" Keva: keva's standing behind han blocking the doorway, in that time she is considering whether she should change her mind Han: she shrugs "nothing, just heard u talking, got curious- AH" at keva teleporting behind her and stares at her for 2 seconds before going "im going back to chores, bye" and scuttling off Cimmorro: he just looks at you two like 🤨 Keva: she moves out of her way and says bye back after she's already left like 🤨 "any room in here?" Cimmorro: he looks at you for a moment before understanding what's going on "oh you're staying here? that makes things so much easier for me. yeah there's room, though han can be a bit energetic" he laughs and points at a spot in the room Keva: she looks back in the direction han left for a moment "yeah that's going to be fun" /s, she'll go over and plop her few things down Cimmorro: a laugh "she's like that... though she can easily be distracted lolll... i think she'll be more focused on dress making than at you, for tonight at least." Keva: keva tosses her cloak on the bed while mumbling "thank the gods for that." turning to cimm "does she work here or smth?" Cimmorro: he nods at you as he sits back up on his bed "she was already here when i arrived a few weeks ago. i'm sure she's been here for way longer" Keva: "hm. well, don't let me get in the way of what you were doing." and she gonna climb onto her bed and take out a little bit of bread to feed amos Cimmorro: he watches you do that for a sec before going "okay, i'm still beat from going around the stores earlier myself so... we can talk about what you want to do with your outfit later. give it some thought meanwhile.."

As Keva settles in, Han remembers to head over to Ferrie Chris and notify her that Finn will probably be showing up later in the week.

Han: "the pampered one will come later... ill borrow the cart to fetch him, if its ok.." Ferrie Chris: she tilts her head from where shes bent over moving crates "hm? sure whatcha need it for anyhow? Han: han shrugs "he needs some stuff moved" Ferrie Chris: she squints "how much stuff could tha' guy have...?" she shakes her head "eh 's fine, we moved most of the stuff earlier in the week anyway" Han: SHE SHRUGS HARDER

As the two of them chat Cimmorro and Psalm both begin the process of attuning to their newly bought weapons in their rooms, though Psalm also goes through the additional ritual of designating his new scimitar as his pact weapon.

Ghester: for the latter ritual ghester is silent the entire while until the end in which he lets out a sigh, quickly remarking how strange a sensation that was Psalm: "Strange how?" Ghester: he ponders the thought a moment "like growing another limb, despite the fact that i dont have any in the first place" Psalm: he nods like he gets it even though that's kinda weirdchamp

As the group settles for the afternoon Plum also arrives at the inn, the last of the party to make their transfer for the day. Receiving the same spiel as those before them they waddle up to the first floor, deciding to pick whoever is behind the closest door to them for their roommate, the result being Rokka.

Chip: for your viewing pleasure

Cimmorro: AKFHJLKASFKSAJFAKLWFKAL Han: EMO A;LKDHGKLLKDSF Keva: I'M LAUGHING THAT GHESTER AND AMOS COME WITH US NOW Chip: your government assigned leeches

Rokka: his ears twitch and he turns towards the door "come in!!" Plum: "oh it's you rokka, nice. you don't mind being roommates do you?" Rokka: he perks up seeing plum enter, "oh plummy!! hi!! i don't mind at all in fact im glad we can be roomies hehehe" rokkas tail wags in delight Plum: "ok great, what are you up to for the rest of the day, then?" Rokka: "hmm" he taps his chin and looks up to think "nothing much unless you wanna do something with me? :D" Plum: "i'm not up to anything today, so sure. got anything in mind?" Rokka: "we can work on that music box you got!!" Plum: "oh, right! forgot about that thing." plum says, and starts fishing around in their bag of holding until they pull out the ＭＵＳＩＱＵＥ ＢＯＸＥ Rokka: he moves next to plum and leans his head closer to them "i don't know much about fixing music boxes so I don't think i will be much help but i can cheer you on :D" he tilts his head a little "whaddya think it would sound like once it can play" Plum: "i think it'll probably play, just not very well. i'm not even sure how this thing is broken. also thanks, if you cheer me on that means i definitely have to fix this thing though." plum says, lifting the box carefully to peek at it. Rokka: "yeah i had a feeling it would sound like that too...i cant wait to hear it in its full glory" rokka goes 🥺 and speaks with a little gentler tone "i just thought its another way i could help you is all." Plum: a little embarrassed now plum just says "right..." and trails off. then after a moment of looking at the box they say, "y'know this thing might not actually be broken after all. so it only plays on a full moon, right? and i thought that was just some kind of charm attached to it for fun or somethin', probably is. but other than that it's a functional music box. think the seller thought that little catch to it meant it didn't work." plum says this all in one go without realizing because they like to talk about magical objects. "personally," they continue, "i don't think that means it's broken. i think that just makes it more special. i could probably make it so that it plays all the time though, what do you think?" Rokka: he silently nods throughout plums explanation simply enjoying them talking more than usual in one sitting, "thats a bummer we gotta wait until then for it to play but if you can make it play ALL the time that would be super cool of you plum!" he gives them a thumbs up Plum: "well i can try, anyways." 

> 🎵 Tired Rynoka / Moonlighter OST

Plum begins working away at the music box as Rokka sits attentively beside them for the rest of the day. In their own mind they decide their course of action is going to be to change the enchantment into a dual purpose one. A person will still need to wind the music box on a full moon to have it play, but it will also play whenever if Rokka is the one to wind it.

Getting to work on inspecting it Plum finds the enchantment is inscribed weirder than they’d thought it would be once they actually get a look at it. Most of the evening is spent trying to make out the creators handwriting, but it is solid progress nonetheless. After much interpreting they see the enchanted name signed near the bottom thusly " -ＲＡＮＤＯＶＵＳ / THE GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL"

Han: randovus instant fave character no lie Rokka: whoever this is i wanna fight them Plum: chip was it that the seller thought it was broken??? Chip: yeahp Plum: oh LOL Chip: zafar like what in the....not gonna ruin my day [puts on shelf] Plum: hHHHFHFG

Plum: "this guy's handwriting fucking sucks" Rokka: he makes a weird sound of agreement as he doesnt wanna admit it "mmmnnyyeeahmnn?????????" Plum: "anyways, that's all i got for you today re: this thing. might take me a couple days." plum says, without telling rokka what exactly they're intending to change about the box until it gets done. Rokka: he oohs and ahhh through the process of what plum does "neat! you got me excited now that I know i can probably hear it sooner!" his tails lazily wags in content and a little nostalgic spending time with plum like this in a room as they remind him of his siblings Plum: "yeah, i'm pretty excited too. and its fun working on something for...fun. i feel like its been forever, even though its only been like, a week. feel free to tune in next time." Rokka: "yeah! i getchaaa especially with what we've been through having some time to just enjoy like this is nice hehe" he tilts his head at plum "really?? then please let me know whenever you choose to work on it! I will be there to watch and cheer asap! thanks for letting me watch plum  " Plum: "any time. i can make it a little task while we wait for the ball and all of that." Rokka: he stares at plum for a moment seeming to ponder something "plum, you're really nice. I like you, can we be friends?" he says without his usual loud and cheery tone. this time being more calm as he asks genuinely for the first time Plum: "h-huh?" plum says after a beat, suddenly turning fully red in the face. "man, rokka, why do you sound so serious... and! a-anyways! i thought we were already friends?" Rokka: "I just never-- wait what???i---" he struggles with finding words to respond as he didn't think plum thought they were friends "you.....we're friends? really? really really friends?" he looks expectantly down at plum Plum: "oh i mean i just assumed since we get along and we're stuck in this large group for now. maybe i jumped the gun there, sorry. but yeah we can be friends." plum says and scratches at their face, feeling embarrassed. "you're making me feel kinda embarrassed over here, saying "i like you" to people so bluntly, y'know." Rokka: he lets out a small gleeful laugh with a smile growing larger each second "ah...ahah!! yess!!!!!!!!" he ruffles plums hair "Sorry, I just like to be honest, hehe," now in a very great mood he cant help his wagging tail Plum: [is ruffled] "no it's fine, just caught me by surprise. i like to be blunt too 🤨 " plum says and coughs a little awkwardly. Rokka: he just grins at plum before plopping onto his bed with a content sigh followed by a mumble "my first friend.."

As the afternoon ebbs on Cimmoro also finishes attuning to his new healing knife in his room, the other two going about their business in silence and settling in. Finally he moves and stretches, and gives the knife a stare, he decides to give it a whirl and to check whether he’s been scammed or not. He tightly gripes the blade with one hand and makes a swift cut on his hand, he makes a low hissing sound as he does, alerting the other two briefly as they spot his hand bleeding for a couple of seconds

Han: han just stares like 🤨 Keva: keva was feeding amos the little snack thing she bought from the pet store, but when she hears cimm hiss, she looks over her shoulder. when she sees the blood and the knife she jumps a bit in surprise like "what the fuck?"

However, despite how quickly he made the wound, once he expends the charge, it heals just as quickly, glowing slightly for a brief moment as the skin stitches itself back together, like there was nothing there in the first place. They watch even as the blood quickly rises through the air and zooms back into his body from the wound.

Han: she stares at the immediately closing wound "that..what?" Keva: she's also staring in confusion and curiosity Cimmorro: he watches the wound heal itself, wonder in his eyes and then immediately puts his palm up for han and keva to see it stitch up like ":D SICK...!!" Han: "is magic? thats cool" she pokes the part where he sliced himself Cimmorro: he breathes out in relief "wuhahhu... looks like i got my money's worth..." when han pokes at his palm he goes like "yeah! you wanna try?" Han: "fuck yeah!" han holds out her forearm excitedly >:D Cimmorro: "it only works when i do it though" he's taken aback by your enthusiasm but likes it regardless. cimm swipes the blade on your arm, making a clean cut [will use charge] Keva: she makes a 🤨 face at han's enthusiasm and closes up the jar of treats to put it away as she says "no thanks" .... she does turn back to watch tho

Cimmorro slices again this time on Han’s arm.....blood...a second...thwoosh the body stitches itself back together immediatley and the wound is healed.

Cimmorro: "aw cmon we can do it one more time" once han's wounds begin stitching too he looks back at keva like "see? see?" Han: "oooh.." han goes over the wound with her hand "its only a bit tingly... wanna try it over actual wound?" Cimmorro: he turns to han looking confused for a sec like "... wait are you injured?" Han: "no, but keva can stab me" :D “or you stab with the knife normally. i just trust keva to make it count” 😌 Keva: "you're really excited about being stabbed" Cimmorro: cimm is wondering why han wants to hurt so badly rn and his mouth is just agape Han: "wounds are an honour" Cimmorro: "what... well, i guess?" Han: "well, more in battle than in here but still"  Keva: "is that why you tend to go into things without thinking" Han: "without think-?! i think a lot, thank you !!!!" han sounds offended Keva: keva makes geralt from netflix "hm" noise "kay well, i'm not stabbing you so" Han: han pouts "your loss" then goes back to looking at cimm expectantly with her forearm to him Cimmorro: "okay, ladies.... let's...." he sighs "this dagger can do as much damage as it can heal, supposedly... so... to test?" he looks like he doesnt want to tho Han: "to test!" >:) Keva: "we already know it works. why do we have to do this" Cimmorro: "just to be sure!" Han: "to test!" han repeats Cimmorro: "you're not going to hold this against me are you? if i stab you like real stab?" cimm is starting to wonder if this is a good idea Keva: keva puts her hand to her face Cimmorro: he makes a fake stab against the air right now just to make sure han knows what she's asking him to do "like this, stab stab" Han: "huh?? why would i?? plenty of family have stabbed me, just do it" she doesn’t flinch Cimmorro: he completely sputters at that "do-what tthe ?!? the HUH?" Keva: keva's slient for a moment in shock as well and then "...gods you're so weird" Han: han tsks impatiently "i can do it myself, yeesh" takes out her own dagger Cimmorro: "no, WHAT? STOP" Keva: "(medieval fantasy equialvent of jesus christ)"

Han makes a clean slice along her forearm without flinching, taking damage, much to the displeasure of her two roomates.

Han: the dagger looks similar to the hammer shes taken out before, one solid chunk of blueish metal Keva: she winces watching it happen and is like, getting up off her bed Han: "nnnow try it" :) Cimmorro: cimm looks horrified not bc of the wound but bc of han just being so.... han. he clicks his tongue while he makes a weary slice on her already open wound, expending a charge

With a glow the wound stitches together again and the blood zips back in, the wound is not fully healed but it looks alot less bad now, closer to a papercut but long across the arm.

Han: "ooooo~" Cimmorro: cimm lets out a sigh of frustration and keeps han's arm in place while he grabs his holy symbol to cast cure wounds on the leftover cut :( Han: han lets him but is like :/ Cimmorro: cimm lightly blows and pats on her arm as if to check if he missed a spot then lets her go once cleared out. "this thing is more for emergencies, it looks like" tilting the doctor's blade a bit with his free hand Han: han wiwis for a sec Keva: keva relaxes back onto her bed once the wound is healed Cimmorro: "since we'll be travelling together for a while it's good to let you guys know what this does, though i won't use it unless i really have to... i don't like relying on things aside from what i already know anyway..." he puts it away and then looks at han like :| "no more stabbing yourself like that" Han: han goes 😤 "this was for teeeest!" Cimmorro: cimm remembers how han also just nonchalantly sliced her arm in the blood chamber and he rubs at his eyes at the memory "you do this kind of thing so often!! what the hell was that about your family!! uggh" he just keeps rubbing his eyes rn trying not to think of what he was to deal with the next coming weeks Han: han just goes 😟 but says nothing Keva: keva notices the look on han's face and says "anyway." Cimmorro: cimm stares at her and sighs and shakes his head Han: han gets weirdly shy under the attention Cimmorro: "no more hurting yourself. if that's what your family liked to do then whatever. but don't do it around me.. don't like seeing it" he says that rather harshly but there is a hint of concern Keva: keva like a sibling looking out the car window while the other kid gets chewed out Han: han is still like 😟  "no its.. they didnt.. uagh" she looks frustrated by both not wanting to talk about it and not knowing how to explain it, and just drops the thread entirely , pacifying cimm with a non commital "i wont, i wont" Keva: keva just quickly raises and lowers her eyebrows, thinking well that sounds convincing in her head Cimmorro: cimm doesn't seem convinced, but it's not like he expected his words to do anything immediately. he exhales and waves his hand around to clear the air "well... anyway. you two know what this does. don't go stabbing me back when i bring you conscious with this pls..🙄 " Keva: keva waves a hand like yeah yeah Han: han snort laughs a bit and also agrees Cimmorro: he shrugs as if to say he's just trying to make precautionary measures "nice. well okay you are cuties dismissed 👏" he hops off his bed and walks out the door peace out 

Cimmorro scurries about preparing things for later on, and as sundown and evening comes the rest of the party settle into their rooms and comforts for the night. Han however, after a bit more pestering of Cimmorro, heads out after clocking off her shift, and walks off towards a familiar destination in the city.

She weaves her way in and out of a few alleys and streets in the business district before entering one of the taller buildings nearby. Despite there having been no rain recently she also spies puddles of water near the outside of the building. Shrugging it off, she heads inside and up a few flights of stairs down some interior hallways, past the doors of a couple other businesses

it’s pretty quiet in the area compared to when she’d usually come around, with the sounds of people revel making and drinking typically filling her ears. She  quickly comes to the entrance of the place she’s looking for, the words ‘The Bone Pit’  scrawled nested into a carefully illustrated poster nailed to the front of the door.

> 🎵 Through the Valley / Pyre OST 

She opens the door and steps inside, finding herself in a small lobby area of sorts, connected to a larger room that appears to be a bar floor with hallways leading upstairs branching off it. Though looking about it appears pretty empty and quiet, not silent however, some chatter here and there and the sounds of things being moved echo through the place. As she stares about it appears pretty sparse, its then that she notices a whole bunch of cleaning supplies stacked around the place.

Han: she just says loudly "hellooooo?? ruel? stella?"

As Han yodels out the names, someone shuffling around the larger bar floor seems to notice and comes running over, she recognises the woman as Stella, a short pink haired girl.

Stella: “ahh sorry there!!” she gives a cutesy wave “were closed right now for -er” she blinks now seemingly recognising you “oh my gods haaaaaaan, i'm being forced to do manual labouuuur- save me pleaaase” her tone changes to an uncharacteristically whiny one as she dramatically walks over pouting and shaking a mop that she’s holding in her hands. 

Looking at her Han notes she’s not in what her typically style, instead in clothes that appear to be much more shabby, probably for cleaning. Behind her she also spots a taller person, whom she recognises as Ruel, a half orc woman leaning herself against a broom 

Ruel: “...stella that’s like the 5th walk in, did you even put the closed sign out front..?” shaking her head as if she doesn't even expect an answer from the former. Han: han laughs at stella "you are such a baby." she notes their dress and says "cleaning day? do u want extra hands?" Stella: she lazily throws her head back with a groan “auuugh because of the lockdown the other day the good big boss decided this would be the perfect time to scrub down the whole place” she holds the mop out in front of her “this isnt in my job description y'know, i'm going to have to get my nails redone and everything after this, its tough work looking this perfect” she continues huffing a little before actually realising you asked a question "ah? oh no way we cant make customers help out, bad look..." Ruel: while she chats ruel crouches near the floor fiercely inspecting a stain in the wood near a bar table Han: "with the amounts of fluids this place sees daily i cant believe it took you this long to do deep clean....." han grimaces a bit but its still finds stellas baby attitude funny so it gets a bit lost. "and what? there are no customers around, no one sees me here. i asked a couple hours off." Stella: "ehh well it gets cleaned regularly but i guess she really wants these bar floors finally annihilated" she grimaces at the comment before looking back at you "y.........eaaaaaah but if i got caught doing that i'd get an earful is the thing" she waves her hand noncommittally though she looks like she is internally fighting off the temptation to just let you Han: han is just holding back laughter at stella like ppfftt "im sure you can do it, youre big girl" and then walks over to ruel and opens her arms for a hug Stella: she groans again and shakes the mop menacingly at you Celebrity Guest Aqua: is this like those clubs where they gotta hose the floor every morning or is it a nicer establishment  Han:

Cimmorro: hate that gif so much dawg   Chip: STOPPPPP Han: I AHTE THIS GIF TOO IT PLAGUES ME Plum: what is that fucking gif lord

 As Han walks over to Ruel with outstretched arms she stands up curiously staring at her with a quirked brow.

Han: "i know ure off work but one hug pleeeaaase" >_< Ruel: she stares at you again but eventually sighs and opens her arms out invitingly like 😓 Han: "Oh! i actually came over to ask. me and some ..." han makes some grimacing/thoughtful expressions "friendsss?? like saved the town or whatever and they invited us to be guests at the new ball, do you guys wanna come??" :3 Ruel: ruel just ?? confused face at the question after the hug  Stella: she turns her head towards you leaning on the mop completely disbelieving "if you ya want to invite me to a party han you dont need to lie about how cool it is" she says wrly Han: she probably has let go of ruel at this point lolol "no we talked to the king and shit.." han shrugs "its in 2 week, cimm, that priest guy, i dont think i told you about him, he even drew me a dress!" she starts looking around her bag "oh i must've left it with him... well anyway!" han is still in a chipper mood "you guys and the swallows perch are my only friends around so i thought i would invite you" she does get pink at this lol Ruel: she makes a face like 😑❓  silently thinking to herself Stella: she walks over and slaps her hand across your stomach jokingly "yeah and what did the king tell you?" she seems to be a little embarrassed about the only friends statement but is way to distracted by the ridiculousness of the gala thing Han: "uuhhh he was like [han tries to imitate his voice] thank you so much, here is 5000 gold, we are doing ball in 2 weeks, invite your friends. i have the gold to prove it" han opens her heavy ass stash and shows the girls the coin

Stella looks like shes about to crack another joke until Han opens up the bag, after which both her and Ruel open their eyes wide in surprise. Stella looks back between Han and the bag multiple times in shock

Stella: "th... first of all this is like, all platinum han, and second......i...." she stops mid sentence like she doesnt know what to say out of shock Ruel: she pipes up after "........you know they did say they were gonna rehost it...." Stella: at this she seems to snap out of her awe and stares up at han grabbing your giant arm and shaking you "HAAAAAN. YOU CANT BE SERIOUS THE GALA??? LIKE WITH THE ROYALTY AND EVERYTHING???  Han: she gets shaken around "yes, those guys, i dont rlly understand the big deal, ferrie chris was also excited about them?" Stella: "YESSS HAN THOSE GUYSSS" she seems to calm down a little though still gripping your arm "okay okay well im not gonna shoot for the moon or anything so i dont care too much about them but do you know how many rich nobles go to those parties.... the connections i can make there..." she then begins shaking your arm again "and i can brag about having BEEN to the palace my gods what am i gonna wear... i need to create the perfect ensemble, andrella is NOT gonna hear the end of this from me" Han: she laughs "i thought you might like it." she turns to ruel "how about you?" Ruel: as you turn your attention to ruel stella continues babbling to herself while shaking your arm, ruel stands nearby with her arms crossed thinking over it thoughtfully "honestly i am not sure i'd be good schmoozing somewhere so high class but" and she lifts her eyes up seriously with a glint and a thumb on her chin "the opportunity. is way too good." Keva: the egirls looking to get paaaaiiidd yeeeessss Chip: stella getting ready to have 100 business cards made Keva: are they bedazzled Chip: gel pen as well Keva: the other side is sequins that if you run your hand over it it reveals other colors and a message lmao Han: wait thats genius Keva: "stella" one way, "see the stars" the other Han:  UA;LHDSGKH;KHWKH3LKESGKDX

Han: she just heehees "i went dress shopping with cimm today, hes gonna help get something tailored, you want dresses too? i can pay" Ruel: her eyebrows go up "oh no no, we can get that done ourselves fine, you're already inviting us and everything"  Stella: she nods next to you feverishly "han i love you oh so dearly, now even more so, but i have my pride" she lifts a fist "and its telling me to go all out on this look...." Ruel: she nods sagely agreeing with her Stella: she quickly relaxes to a more joking demeanour before continuing "i appreciate the thought though as ludicrous it is for you to offer you big lug, if this works out i wont even have to annoy you to give me free drinks" she says with a smile ^__^ Han: han giggles then stops abruptly "what!! you said you annoy me because i dont let you tie me up!!!" <- she is faux sad Stella: she lifts a finger "i can have multiple reasons to annoy you" Han: she tsks "im glad you two are alright tho 😊 when you think the deep clean will be done?" Stella: she slaps your arm with a laugh at that Ruel: she thinks a moment "judging by how powerful these wood stains are... i'd say another two days with the others helping out" she folds her arms with a smile looking back at you "i'll be sure to expect a visit now that you're rolling large..." she squints her eyes and tilts her head afterwards though thinking on it "...kind of dangerous carrying all that actually" Han: she snorts at the wood stains comment "i dont have a lot to use it on anyway but thieves would be stupid to go for me" puffs out her chest "i will visit... soon? i will be leaving soon after so yeah.." han think thonks Ruel: she laughs at the chest puffing Stella: at the last comment stella tilts her head "ohhh??...flying the coop? you gotta tell me when we can go out for drinks or something, i'll have to console poor ruel.." she mock wipes her eyes  Ruel: she rolls hers and grabs a cloth, getting back to working away Han: she shrugs "dunno, got one other bossman now and he wants us to go to antessa..." han trails off thinking about routes and times "you can grab me whenever you have free day. OH ferrie chris wants have do a banger too..." Stella: "damn moving up in the big leagues of freelancing now, cross country" at the second comment her face lights up "ohhhhh yes! when you have a date let me know i'll free up the evening" she says with a >:) grin Han: han is jsut ^O^ heeho evening successful,  STARTS BIDDING THEM ADIOS?  "no sex, no cleaning, im useless here" pouts again

Han scuttles off back to the inn satisfied with having said her piece, making sure to tell Stella to stop slacking off as she goes. The party all spend the rest of the little of the evening left idling around and killing time before finally heading to rest and bedding down in the dark.

--

Notes

💎Cimmorro and 🔮Psalm attuned to their weapons of choice

🦇Finn upgraded his sword to a +1 weapon

🍺Plum got an evenings work in on the music box

👨‍👩‍👦‍👦👨‍👨‍👧‍👦 Most of the Party relocated to the Swallow’s Perch

[futurewriter2000]

Choose hate?

Through my years of living on this Earth, I have, as an 19 year old student in high school, realized, I believe, more than a 45 year old man or woman ever have.

I shouldn't have realized those things. I am only 19 years old. But I did and I learned many moral and right teachings of life.

It cannot be explained because people hate. People hate no matter what you write and if I write what I want, there will be so many misunderstood comments. Because here's the thing. When I read this book, this amazing book published somewhere around 1950s I believe, this was what was written :

"Communication is in the same class with the elixir of life and the philosopher's stone. It just isn't. You can't explain yourself to anybody. Never in this world. Or why you do something. Or what makes you tick. You can't ever point to something that happened to you and say- There! That's me. Right in therr. See? Now do you understand? Because nobody's going to. " - William Goldman

But here's the problem. We try. We try so hard to explain ourselves to people that we don't even see how much energy we put in it. It exhausts us almost to the max.

And then we are hated. Hated for trying. Hated for trying to bring out our truest selves. Whoever we are or at least trying to be, we are hated.

And in my whole 19 year old life I have been so disgusted by the hate people give. Not only to people but to animals, nature, beliefs etc.

And sometimes even if it is to someone who has done another wrong. A big amount of wrong that makes you furious and you go: "I hope he dies a horrible death."

Why would you want him dead? What would that do good to you? Who will fix the wrongdoing of that another person?

We have been thought when we do something wrong, we are punished. Is death really a punishment? Is it? Old people crave death when they are stuck on the bed with nothing but tubes and diapers and already grieving people surrounding them. Bad people are terrfied of death. Some, some not. Hitler commited a suicide. Why? Ask yourself why did he do it? Was it because he craved death at 56 of age?

No,it's becuase when you're at your lowest, you look for death as a salvation for your problem. Death? It's beautiful. You're not that person anymore. You're gone. And if I use the same example what were jews and victims of Hitler's horror left with? - Hate. Hate towards him. Does he care? No. He's dead. Whether if it's in "heaven" or "hell" or whether if he was recairnated into a plant or an ant. Do people know? No.

When we are left with hate, what do we do with it? We put it on anybody who is close to us. Strangers? Acqaintances? Colleagues? Friends? Significant other? Family? Children?

We hold the hate inside and don't know where to put it, whom ti give it too. Because we don't want it. When we hate ourselves, it's easier to distract yourself on pointing flaws in somebody else.

"She's fat."

"Ugly bitch."

"Whore."

"Pervert."

"Faggot."

"Retard."

And what saddens me is that all of those are words with a meaning. Those aren't just insults, they are words with a meaning.

Worse part of this is, we use it on our own friends as a joke, as a greeting- and it has affected us and our way of speaking. We cuss and talk like those are the only words in our vocabulary. Why?

"She is overweight."

"Unattractive female dog."

"Prostitute."

"Deviant."

"Gay man."

"A sick person."

The synonims. You read the first ones, you know they are insults. You read the synonims, the tone is different.

So yes, the need to call somebody names is an urge when you are furious, hateful but know that you're not only insulting them, you're insulting those people who are those.

Is being overweight a bad thing? It's not heathy, that's all. And sometimes not even that. Perfect body, hiding your flaws, everything you have ever read about loving yourself. Even those quotes. If they are cheesy and lame and unoriginal, they are still true. People are different. Their metabolism is different. The construction of their bones can be strong or weak. Genetics is a thing. Dietary problems are a thing. It's not only unhealthy, for some people having the perfect body is unhealthy.

I don't understand. The way people use words to verbally assult other people. "You fucking pig." Pigs are smart. One of the smartest animals in the animal kingdom. And yeah, you can say that as a way to tell a disgusting person off or or tell it as bullying. Which is a thing not only in high schools, not only in work places and not only on the streets as you walk by but everywhere. Everywhere is happening the same thing. Hate.

So you can say awful about the people who murdered, raped, caused genocides, bombed etc. but when you spread hate like that, you're the one who is creating them.

Yes, I cuss. Yes, I hate. It's the nature of all beings. But there is a fine line of hating and terror.

People do it all the time. Terrorize other people because they want to be respected and praised. Because they don:t want to feel the way they do. And I pity those people for they can't see the other side of the solution.

Yes, it's sweet to taste but is it reliving you or is it making you crave for more?

I have been thought how to hate. Maybe not directly but it was there.

"You can't associate with the Serbian people." - "Why?" - "They killed our people in Srebrnica."

You mean I can't associate with the Serb who was not even born in 1995. Hate the person who wasn't the part of the massacre? I can't be friends? Be in love? Be all the things that are out of my controls? Just hate them?

"Never give a homeless man money. He'll just spend it on the alcohol or drugs. They are all frauds. He should go work instead. A person who needs money will work. "

Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe he'll buy himself food. Maybe he can't get a job. Medically. Maybe from the background of which he was a victim. All in the maybe.

"Don't dance with him." - "Why?" - "Are you blind or are you just pretending?"

Honestly, for someone who saw their own mother being terrorized by my father, who was good looking and still is, can say that character is the only beauty I seek for in my partner. Always.

"She's dumb. She keeps failing the tests."

Why? Lazy? Easy-going? Always sleeps? Or is it undiscovered learning disability? Or mental torturing problems at home? Or any other mental sickness?

How can you be so sure on who is what? How can you hate on someone by looking on them? You psychic? You God? No. So stop pretending like you are. Stop spreading hate because you can't stand the hate inside of you. The more you mix the shit, the more it smells.

It's not just the hate on coloured people tho I honestly don't see the difference between the meaning white and black as they are only different colours but still colours.

Colour, religion, beliefs, background, looks, disability, language barrier, accent, body shape, hair colour and even a birth mark on the wrong part of your body. Everything is hated.

It's like a sick joke. How can people not see it? - "There is only one race in the world. The human race." - my sociology teacher

I bleed. You bleed. I knife you, you die. Is money gonna save you? Will the word "bitch" save you? Will your pride? Your ego? Your all so high reputation? Or is it a doctor? Who could have been a homeless person you were so terrified of giving your money to because either you needed it more than him to buy cigars or alcohol or whatever you landed your eyes on. Well, he starved and froze to death. So he is not near.

That's how life works. Whether you spread hate, more hate grows inside and around you. Whether thats from people or life itself.

But love and peace, forgivness, generousity... When is the thought of that? When a bad day goes by and you curse it, you decide to hate it? Why not think of what good can you do to turn it to its contrast?

Funny thing is that you're not the only one going through it but we do sure love to feel like we are the only ones. Like the world has turned its back on us. The world doesn't have a back. It's a weird rock floating in a space, which nobody knows what that is. Like the sun. Sun is a rock that is on fire.

Why bug ourselves with questions and problems we have no solutions for? Why don't you do what you love? It's not impossible, you've just been thought that. But look how many other people proved you wrong. Television is now normal. Radio is normal. To us. To the ones who were born with it. To people decades ago? Nah. People did the impossible all throughout the history. Not because of spreading the hate, telling people off, insulting them verbally or physicaly cuz that doesn't help. It's becuase they threw their hate aside and decided on something much more lighter. Hope. Dreams. Ambition. Goals.

So, I'm 19 years old. I am overweight. I cuss. I don't believe in God but I'm a born Muslim with a Buddha statue in my room. My English is better than my mothertongue. My best friend is a Serb. I listen to also black people music even if I'm a white person. I sing to it to it. I'm still a virgin. I am not ashamed of who I am.

I know the why and you don't. So go ahead, judge me hate me. It's easy. Decide to hate but know that I don't give a shit. I'm going to listen Your Peace by Jacquees, talk to my Buddha and change into my shorts to show off my thick thighs during the winter. I think I'm going to turn into a hippie as well.

Peace and love.

[sawyersick]

all the questions for that ask game!!! (or as many as you want lol)

holy fuck bee............................. ok get red E its a Lot

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Idk what I would say but I probably wouldn’t be that freaked out... the last person I texted is a good friend/coworker and I trust him

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

I uhhh can’t remember who the last person I kissed was because it was years ago but let’s assume it was my ex..... he was a toxic pos who tore me down because he had low self esteem so yeah I don’t really like him

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I would be upset if it was anything more than weed or the ocassional drink or if it was a full blown addiction and I would be mad if they didn’t tell me on principle...

 Also I would not be very comfortable if they did it around me because I’m a weenie despite hanging out in hardcore punk groups...... also I can’t stomach the smell of cigarettes im sorry

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

nope! 

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober, I don’t drink

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

like..... as a significant other? I guess. I’m pretty bad at telling my feelings to people and I’m kinda clingy when I like someone. idk if I’ve ever *explicitly* messed it up tho

7. What does your last received text say?

“sick” and then the sparkly heart emoji five times 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

lots and lots and lots.... unfortunately. we were together for a year and a half

9. Where was your last kiss at?

fuck bitch I don’t remember.............. school? my house? his house? the pool??? man the last five months of that relationship were affection-less

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I don’t have one!

11. What do you drink in the morning?

water and sometimes tea

12. Where did you sleep last night?

the car and then my bed when I got home

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

I mean everything takes effort... I don’t find it hard to do things for people in my relationships but I get frustrated when it isn’t reciprocated and I burn out

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

nah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yes....................... many..........................

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

I TRIED to be a good emo and like the rain but tbh I get really reasonally depressive so I prefer the sun 100%

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

nope!

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jeans!

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

hopefully!! I met this real cute punk boy last night

20. Does anyone like you?

HA I doubt it......... I usually come off as the little sister type to most people

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

nope! 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

probably

I suspected that he had internalized homophobia but also he was weirdly transphobic to me so I dropped it and pretended to be a cis girl around him which is weird because I think he liked boys??????????????????

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

YES this girl from high school who talked about tentacle porn to school admins for no reason and did lots of other weird shit 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

yes! I have a whale on my hip and I want to get tiny scissors on my arm soon

25. In the past week have you cried?

yes I watched queer eye and a disney movie lol

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

I follow like 12 samoyeds on instagram but the last dog I saw irl was this ADORABLE black lab who was a service dog and he rested his head on his human’s lap when she sat down in the library and I wanted to cry

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

I have a towel hanging right out side the shower so I grab it, then step out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

hm idk I think so? I definitely kissed a guy who played tennis but he forced it on me so I don’t count it

29. Do you think you’re old?

yes because I hate tiktok

30. Do you like text messaging?

I don’t mind it!! The service at my house sucks tho so I prefer cloud based texting like instagram or facebook messenger

31. What type of day are you having?

A good but slow one! I had a really good night last night so I’m just resting now

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

I’d honestly rather get snake bites if I were to get a piercing but in general I’m afraid of facial piercings

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm! then I can head down to the lake :)

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

yes! he’s one of my best friends and I talk to him every day and he lives in scotland and I’d like to meet him one day

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

relationship! Flings personally make me feel icky and I’m over that

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I’d like to think I’m complicated but I’m a simple man..................... you show me whale, I like

37. What song are you listening to?

any song by Liily, all day every day

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

yes! I perpetually feel bad about everything!!!!!!39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

there was! but not anymore because she ghosted me for no reason40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

This person is so cute and kind and creative and nice and sweet and fashionable!!!! and fun to mosh with!!!!!41. When did you last receive a text message?

half an hour ago ish???42. What is wrong with you right now?

I am constantly depressed and there’s nothing I can do about it exceot keep myself insanely busy but that means there’s no breather for me and also I probably have adhd but can’t afford a therapist43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

FeMaLe dude just say chick

pretty well! I like her favourite band and we talk like once a week at the very least44. Does anyone disgust you?

yes my ex was very nasty and tore people down to his level and also this one person from high school who fucked over my friends 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

depends on who.... eye emoji............. but probably yes I have low standards46. Are you in a good mood right now?

yes!47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

my parents? but other than that it was thanking Nick from the band Unpopular Opinion for the lovely tabling opportunity last night48. What color shirt are you wearing?

white T shirt with a cat pink sweater with a cat49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yes one of my parents says nasty things when in a bad mood50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yes my former best friend who ghosted me and this girl who keeps flaking on plans with me and also a boy who got mixed up in weird drama with me and his ex that I never wanted to be a part of51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

I’ve never really falen hard for anyone, just periods of obsession. I guess I’m waiting for that one sPeCiAl sOmEoNe

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yes, but I’ll settle for waiting53. Do you like rain?

a little of it!54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

I’d rather they not be a alcholoic because I had a raging drunk coworker who scared the shit out of me once but I guess I’d be okay with the ocasional drink/drunk night as long as they’re safe55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

So many times... I keep my mouth shut because it would never work for one reason or another...... also I’m so SICK of having to make the move all the time I just want to be fawned over I’ve never had anyone do ANYTHING romantic for me 56. Do you like to cuddle?

.......................yes57. Are you shy?

not normally! I LOVE being social but in relationships yeah because I’m insecure58. Do you get along with girls?

yes? girls who don’t get along with girls are lame...... lift each other up don’t tear yaselves down59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

nope! But I’ll admit I thought about it haha60. What do you carry with you at all times?

chapstick, money, and pepper spray

ya boy don’t mess around61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

depends on the haunted levels, as long as the “ghost” would only watch/appear and not scream or whatever or try to make contact I guess that would be fine? but if It tries to disturb me I’m yeeting mysef the fuck outta here because ya boy needs uninterrupted beauty rest62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

yep! I dragged one out for a year and a half when I really should have ended things much sooner than that63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

nope! Been single for around two years now64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

YES HOLY SHIT65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I fired some pieces in my pottery class! my mugs and bowls came out so well

and I met the cutest punk boy last night!!!!!! he’s so cute and very my type and I got to dance with him in the mosh pit!!!!!!!!!! tell me that’s not the cutest punk thing ever

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

19, 18(17???), and 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

I’ve only gotten them done once! It was very enjoyable but I’m a cheapskate so I’d probably rather do them myself68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

leopard print I guess69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

one! A turtle from the Maui Ocean Center. I’d like to add a few more sea-related ones and maybe a totoro I bought at a con a few years back70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

literally who the fuck even are these people71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?   

android 4 lyfe72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

never? my DnD group would get round table or little caesars73. Do you like diet soda?    

I guess? I like it the same as diet soda74. What color are the walls in your room?    

one purple wall and the other three are pastel mint75. Are you 16 or older?    

yeah baybee76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  

nope  77. Do you have a job?   

yep! I’m a windsurfing instructor   78. What are your initials?    

ZSKMTS

but usually I go by SS79. Did you ever have braces?    

nope! I’ve got near-perfect teeth :D80. Are you from the south?    

nope!

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

I talked about meeting my favourite band again!82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

no because he forced himself on me when we were young and I think he remembers and is ashamed and also doesn’t live near me anymore    83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

idk, I’m close but not in different ways with both of them84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

I was really good at the tumbling unit in 6th grade85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood? I don’t go to the movies much 86. Do you smoke?    

no the smell of cigarettes makes me want to vomit87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

I love heels but I LIVE in flip flops bc california88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yes???? damn when was this ask game made89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?  

straight.......... I’m too lazy to curl it  90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  

nope! I’m a weenie  91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

the ocean!!!!!!!! But I guess a pool bc I’m afraid of the flesh eating bacteria in freshwater lakes92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

no but I HAVE made out on some random person’s lawn lmao93. …Had sex in a car?  

no I’m a virgin  94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

single pringle who loves to mingle 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

selling my art and listening to cool bands and dancing with cute punk people!!!96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks? 

the day after the fourth of July   97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yes! I just got a new phone and the camera is way better than my old one

the low lighting setting is  c r i s p 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

I made out with this one friend of mine like twice and then I never did it again bc I felt icky  99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

no I don’t drink100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

NAH BRO YOU GOTTA UNFRIEND THE FUCK OUTTA THEM NO RAGRETS 101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

nope I’m a virgin102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

Liily? did you mean Liily???? my favourite Liily song is Wash, Toro, or The Weather103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  

yeah one from the ring I wear every day  and like a shorts tan from summer104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

hell yeah but ONLY if the cowboy boots are bright red or hot pink no exceptions

[onlovestreetwithjimmorrison]

The Doors 4th of July Story - 2018.

The Doors – Fourth of July  2018 story

It was fourth of July weekend and Jim sat on the balcony of the house he was renting with the other 3 Doors. His leg propped up on a chair. “OMG finally someone here to help me. I thought I was going to die out here alone!”, Jim said when he saw John. John responded, “Shut up Jim. You are not going to die out here. How is your leg?” Jim said, “What do you think? It hurts like hell. I can't believe I broke it. I'm suing the company who makes the kiddy pool I fell in.”

Just then Robby came out on to the balcony and looked at Jim, “Man you were drunk off your ass. That's why you have a broken leg. You tripped and fell over that damn plastic kid pool. Why the fuck did you buy that thing anyway? You are way too big for it.” Jim glared at Robby and said, “Quit calling me fat! How many times do I have to tell you I am not fat, I am hefty! Hefty sounds sexy.” John looked at Robby and choked out, “I think I just threw up in my mouth. I don't know which is worse that he calls himself hefty or that he thinks he is sexy.” Robby nodded, “For me its calling himself sexy.”

Ray appeared with bags full of food, “I got the cookout food. Jim, move you're blocking the grill.” Jim looked at Ray, “I can't fucking movie. Do you see this neon green cast on my leg?” Ray put the bags down and said, “Yes. I can't help but see it. Damn thing practically glows in the dark.” John scratched his head and said, “Um should we get back to rehearsals. We have to start recording our follow up to L.A. Woman when we get back next week.”

Jim glared at John, “Oh hell no. I can't sing. I am injured. I cannot rehearse and I cannot record either until my leg is better. I can't stand.” Robby said, “OMG Jim you do not have to stand to sing. You can sit. Hell we'll drag the fucking couch into the recording booth so you can sit and sing comfortably.” Jim responded, “My voice doesn't work as well sitting down. I need to stand to record and I can't because of my leg. Don't you people understand that?”

Ray ran his hand through his blonde hair and said, “Yes Jim, we know. You broke your fucking leg because you were drunk and tripped over a blue plastic kiddy pool.” Jim looked at Ray and said, “I can't wait until we go back on The Jerry Springer Show next month so I can talk about this and how insensitive everyone is being. Did you get my Burger King when you were out?” Ray stood up, “No Jim! We're cooking on the grill. I did get your liver and onions.” Jim clapped for joy.

John began grilling the burgers and hot dogs. Jim sat in his chair and said, “Do not burn my liver and onions.” Robby said, “Shut up Jim! If you can't cook your own food then don't complain.” Jim ran his hand through his messy hair and said, “I can't my damn leg is broken.” Ray sighed and said, “Jim, you are ruining this vacation for everyone. Your constant complaining is making all of us miserable.” Jim stroked his beard and said, “How do you think I feel? I am in pain, its hot as hell, and my fucking leg itches.”

Robby walked over to the grill and flung a hot dog at Jim. Jim caught it and said, “Not liver and onions, but it will do. Thanks man!” John said, “OMG he wasn't doing that to be nice. He was doing it hoping to hit you.” Jim threw the half of the hot dog he hadn't ate at John hitting him in the eye. John cried out, “My eye! You did this on purpose. Now I have to wear a patch over it.” Jim said, “And even then you won't get girls. I have a broken leg and yet girls still want me! Except I have my Sarah so I don't need any girls.”

Jim, John, Robby and Ray all sat down on the deck to eat their fourth of July dinner. Ray looked on in disgust as Jim happily ate his liver and onions. Robby said, “Can't you eat a hamburger like the rest of us?” Jim grunted, “No. If I can't have my Burger King this is the next best thing. What are we having for dessert?” John said, “We aren't even finished with the meal and you want dessert?” Jim smiled and said, “I am a growing boy. I need to eat. Besides Sarah lets me have all the dessert I want.” Ray said, “Well good for her, but we're not your girl so if you want something get it yourself.” Jim rolled his eyes and said, “OMG I fucking can't. I have a broken leg. Do you people not understand that?” Robby threw his fork down in disgust as he said, “Jim this is getting WAY out of hand. Every other thing out of your mouth is about that damn broken leg. I'm about ready to take Ray's steak knife and amputate your damn leg.”

Jim got up as quickly as he could and hobbled back into the house. As he closed the door he said, “I hate you Robby. I shouldn't have to live in fear like this.” The door slammed shut and immediately opened. Jim stuck his head out and said, “If you cut my leg off I won't be able to sing and this band will be up a creek without me!” John said, “What is that supposed to mean?” Jim rolled his eyes and said, “Well none of you can sing and honestly 5 year olds write better songs than any of you. And none of you are lookers so the girls sure as hell aren't coming to see anyone of you. I mean what girl in their right mind would want John? They are there to see me! Of course I have my Sarah so I don't want them, but its still nice they come.”

Jim hobbled back outside as Robby said, “I don't know why they come to see you. Your hair stinks and is so matted because you wash it about once every 3 months.” Jim ran his hand through his tangled hair and said, “It does not.” Ray spoke up, “Jim stop running your hand through your hair you just make the smell worse every time you do it.” Robby said, “Geeze I wish you'd shave your head or something. Maybe while you're sleeping we'll shave your head for you.” Ray and John grinned. Jim glared and said, “No one is shaving my head. I like my hair and so do the girls.” Ray pointed at Jim with his fork and said, “Yeah well with that receding hairline you've got going on you're going to have to shave it off one day or you're going to look really stupid. Get Sarah to help you when the time comes.”

John squealed, “What the hell is this white stuff on my food?” Robby leaned over and said, “Looks like dandruff from Jim's nasty hair.” Jim glared, “OMG I have a broken leg. What don't you understand about that? I can't wash my hair. I can't take a shower. None of you have any sympathy for me.” Ray slammed his fist on the table and said, “Jim, you haven't bathed in well over 2 months. Long before you broke your leg. Just admit it, you have poor hygiene. John can't eat his damn food because of your dandruff.” Jim said, “I want John out of the band. He doesn't contribute anything.” Robby said, “Explain?” Jim said, “Well you write songs, they suck but at least you contribute. Ray kind of holds us together and one time he filled in for me when I was in the hospital because I pretty much ingested everything that was given to me. So he can sing. John does absolutely nothing.” John knocked over his tea has he stood up and said, “I do more than you Jim. You show up late, you're dirty and you smell and now you're making a big deal about your broken leg which is you're own damn fault. Maybe if you weren't so hefty it wouldn't have broke!”

Jim threw his pudding at John, “That's it. Either he goes or I go and you know this band is crap without me.” Ray said, “Jim we'll discuss this after fireworks. I know you like those!” Jim said, “I do, but I'm not watching them with John. This 4th of July sucks. I have a broken leg and have a crappy band member who won't leave. And I have to sue the makers of that damn plastic pool. Its their fault my leg is broken. Stupid product.”

It was 11pm and Jim and The Doors had just finished watching fireworks. Jim pouted, “The didn't have any blue ones. I like blue fireworks. They match my eyes.” John rolled his eyes, “Are you kidding me? You like fireworks that match your eyes?” Jim glared at him and said, “Get packing. You're out of here. This band can survive without you, but it can't without me. Bye!” John said, “I am leaving. I want to be in a band where everyone does something. You don't do shit Jim. All you do is write songs, you can't even play an instrument. And the songs you write...like seriously Light My Fire, what the hell is that crap?” Robby screamed, “I wrote that song!” Jim threw his half eaten cookie at John and yelled, “You are so insensitive. You have not once told me you are sorry I broke my leg.”

John responded, “OMG you were drunk when you fell. And you had no business buying that damn kid pool. You're too fat to fit in it anyway!” Jim screamed, “I am not fat I'm hefty! Get out of this band. I don't want to see you again. If you don't leave I will.” John said, “How you can barely walk with that damn leg.” Robby and Ray started laughing hysterically.” Jim slammed his fist on the table and said, “I am serious. John leaves or I do and like I have said before this band is crap without me! Damn it John leave this fucking band!” John looked at Robby and Ray and they both just shrugged their shoulders. Jim grinned and threw his hands in the air as he said, “I win! This is the best 4th of July ever! I'm going to write a song about it and in 3 months when this damn leg cast comes off I can record it.”

The End.

This is how I pictured Jim as I wrote the story.

[ahmuteun]

All of them :D

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

Well, that would be my little and I love her but nahh

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

That’s a great question, I have no fucking clue lmfao

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

I mean if they had an addiction then yes cause that’s rlly bad

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Nope

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

Sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

No?

7. What does your last received text say?

“Nope, you only told me about the one”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Wayyyy too many

9. Where was your last kiss at?

………  his bed LOL whoops

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

August 10th

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water, maybe tea if I’m feeling it

12. Where did you sleep last night?

Mah bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

I am the worst person to ask about this LOL

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

I mean maybe some small, stupid, insignificant thing that I did 

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problem?

Lmfao I mean it would be fine but he’s fuckin stupid and would say/ do a lot of stupid shit 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

Nope, I don’t know anyone in the world who has that name lol

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

I’m not wearing any pants cause I’m in bed LOL

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

Naaahhhhhhh I doubt it

20. Does anyone like you?

Highly doubtful, no matter what some people say

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Unfortunately 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

Nah, he says he is as a joke but that’s it

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

I mean kind of but I deal with it just cause I have to

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yep LOL

25. In the past week have you cried?

Nah, I haven’t cried in months

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Uuuuhhhhhh I can’t remember but he’s smol and white and cute

Unless I saw a rando dog on the street and forgot about it which I think I did 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

In

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Ummmmm I don’t think so??

29. Do you think you’re old?

Nah, I’m still young 

30. Do you like text messaging?

Meh I’m neutral to it

31. What type of day are you having?

Unproductive but not awful cause I got to hang with my best buds

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Maybe for like one hot second but that’s it

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

If it’s warm and not sweltering hot then tha’ts fine but I like fall/ spring weather

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Yeah, of course

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

I don’t know what I want anymore dfsohafohifadsf fuck

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I’m generally a simple person 

37. What song are you listening to?

The h3 podcast 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

 Yeah, unless it’s very clearly a joke or something but when I apologise I mean it

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yep and I love them with all my heart 

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

 We aren’t talking about this garbage rn lmfao

41. When did you last receive a text message?

 Like 10 seconds ago LOL

42. What is wrong with you right now?

 A lot of things 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

 Pretty well, we’re very close 

44. Does anyone disgust you?

 Uhhhh idk I don’t think so??

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

 Let’s not get into this cause I don’t fuckin know lmfao

46. Are you in a good mood right now?

 Yeah I’m fine 

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

 My roommate

48. What color shirt are you wearing?

 Navy

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

No I don’t think so,  I mean H told me that she knows something that I should know but it’s not her place to say but I didn’t want to hear it anyways  

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

 Uuuhhhhh no?? I mean maybe?? I guess it depends on what is meant by “giving up on” 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

Nah

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

 Ummmm, no?? Idk

53. Do you like rain?

Yes and no, like it’s nice cause of the smell and ambiance but my bookbag gets soaked, my shoes and socks get wet, plus it gets cold

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

 I don’t have one but I drink so no, but like the drugs if it’s an addiction/ problem then yeah I care. I mean as long as they’re safe and not dying then it’s fine

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

I mean when I was younger, yeah

56. Do you like to cuddle?

 Yeah, cuddles are great

57. Are you shy?

Depends

58. Do you get along with girls?

Yeah but most of my mates are guys

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

NOPE thank fuck

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

My phone, lipstick or lip balm, my wallet, and my keys

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Oh for sure, without a fucking doubt

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

I don’t think I’m gonna be in a relationship for a very long time if at all so I don’t fucking know. But if the relationship has run its course before the five month mark then it’s time to call it quits

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Nope

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

 I mean idk if it’s cute, but it’s nice

Actually yeah I take that back, it is cute

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I mean I saw some cute dogs, but if u mean like romantically cute then nah

Well my roommate set up a romantic night for her and her bf and that was cute, it was gross but also cute

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

22, 22, and 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?    

Neither cause I have better things to do than paint my nails lmao

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

Neither lol

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

Nope cause I don’t like stickers on my car, magnets sure, but not stickers

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Lil wayne, easy

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

 ANDROID!!

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Saturday lol, my roommate and her bf bought some and let me have some

73. Do you like diet soda?    

 I’m not really a soda person so nah

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

White

75. Are you 16 or older?    

Yep, thank god

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

Nah

77. Do you have a job?    

Yep

78. What are your initials?    

CS

79. Did you ever have braces?    

Yep, I hated it but I guess it’s good that I had them

80. Are you from the south?  

With all technicalities, I’m not really sure where I’m from but it definitely isn’t the south lol

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    

Idk I never post to facebook, I think it was one of those friendship memories things

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?  

Nope LOL 

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

My mom, without a doubt

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

I did gymnastics for a hot second when I was little

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

Uuuhhhhh ant man and the wasp maybe????

86. Do you smoke?    

Nah

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Depends on the event/ what I’m wearing but heels lol

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yep

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    

Natural, so wavyish???

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

Nah

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

Pool cause no sand LOL

92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

....... yes

93. …Had sex in a car?    

........ let’s not

94. Are you single or in a relationship?    

s i n g l e

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    

Walking back to my apartment 

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    

Yesterday 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

It’s alright, better than my last phone

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

LOL o boy, yeah I have  

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

I mean, I’ve fallen asleep cause drinking made me tired but I don’t know if that qualifies as passing out

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?    

I don’t hate anyone so no

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

No and let’s hope it stays that way

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    

Idk man, probably one of her older songs from middle school or something 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

YES 

My mates say that I don’t but I do, it’s slight but it’s there

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

I’d rather eat glass than wear cowboy boots 

[heartslogos]

newfragile yellows [63]

“I feel like you’re not giving me enough credit,” Lavellan says, “Sera, I feel as though you are being incredibly judgemental of me right now.”

“That’s because I am being incredibly  judgmental of you right now.”

“Oh, well then. Could you stop?”

“Give me one reason.”

“You’re making me very uncomfortable.”

“You’re making me very uncomfortable.” Sera closes her eyes and turns her head away, pulling the lip of her cap lower over her eyes. “Don’t stand next to me. If we weren’t fucking roommates, I swear I’d bolt right now.”

“I don’t know why you’re uncomfortable,” Lavellan says.

“You just,” Sera quickly lowers her voice, leaning in towards Lavellan, “You just stole someone’s dog.”

“This dog has no person,” Lavellan says, adjusting her hold on the dog in her arms.

Its fur is matted, almost black with dirt, and it looks like a moving mass of actual garbage. It smells worse than one, though.

Sera cringes.

“It has a collar.”

Granted, you can barely see it underneath the fur.

“You cut it off a leash.”

“Does it look like its been taken care of? Does this look like a dog with a person?” Lavellan says, “Of course I cut it off its leash. Look at this dog.”

“Listen, I get where you’re coming from, but I just bailed you out of prison and the first thing you did was cut a dog off a leash,” Sera points out.

“It was a minor infraction.”

“It’s assault and frankly, we’re both lucky that you’ve somehow managed to get some really scary and powerful people on our side so that it wouldn’t stick on your record. This is the shit you get kicked out of school for. I’ve poured too much money into my degree to get kicked out now.”

“You can’t possibly be getting mad at me - I’ve seen on on TV,” Lavellan points out.

“Those are protests. That’s different, you got into a bar fight.”

“In protest of discrimination! They asked me and the Iron Bull to move to the back of the bar! We were basically going to be seated by a urinal. That’s disgusting.”

“I thought you weren’t trying to fuck him?”

“I’m not, Sera. Don’t use such coarse language in front of the dog, it’s been through enough.”

They actually can’t tell the gender of the dog because it’s so dirty. Sera casts a nervous glance around - the second she sees a cop she’s out of here.

That’s sort of a lie - she’d try to drag Lavellan along. They’d both be arrested, probably.

“We just met there because it’s close to campus and kind of quiet,” Lavellan says, “Also all of our friends were there, too. The friends we share, I mean. Surprisingly, we have a lot of shared friends and I don’t know how we haven’t met before now.”

“Really?” Sera blinks, raising her eyebrows, “Aside from Dalish, your old RA?”

“He knows Leliana and Josephine,” Lavellan ticks off on her fingers, hefting the dog up higher as if it were a baby and not a giant matted garbage pile, it quietly licks her cheek and snuffles at her ear. “He also knows Sutherland, and I know a few of Sutherland’s crew from when I used to do track.  It was a nice surprise reunion.”

“Cool, I guess, easier in for you?”

“Definitely. I knew he’d be a good person to have as a friend, you’d like him, Sera. He’s very interesting.”

“He’s old, of course he’s interesting,” Sera replies. “Are you going to carry that dog home?”

“As opposed to what, Sera? Leaving it?” Lavellan tightens her hold on the dog.

“Giving it a bath somewhere? Dropping it off at a vet? A pound? Someone qualified to check if it has something?”

“I’ll give it a bath at home. And we can ask Cullen. He’s from a farm.”

“That just means he can tip cows. Nothing about dogs.”

“A farm in the Ferelden countryside, Sera, get with it. Of course he can diagnose a dog. It’s in his blood. Ask anybody.”

-

Cassandra does not like to use the word nervous. She does not like to be nervous, she does not like being called nervous, she does not like the word nervous in application to either herself or any situation she finds herself in.

So she is not nervous when she gets a phone call to bail the Iron Bull out of jail, again. She is not nervous as she drives to the police station closest to the campus he is currently lecturing at, she is not nervous as she walks into the police station and begins the now routine ritual of getting him out of jail and starting the process of covering for him.

The fights are, almost always, not his fault and in Cassandra’s mind, provoked and or deserved on the other person’s behalf.

One probably should not be provoking the large, well fit man, with only one eye and obvious scars from combat, and being surprised when they lose miserably.

Cassandra does get nervous, when she sees the Iron Bull walk out of holding, waving at someone she cannot see; he’s smiling as he waves, and as he turns she sees a glimpse of his face. He looks dopey.

Now, now, she is possibly nervous.

She waits until they’re outside.

“Swear to me that you did not find a possible booty call in jail.”

“I swear to you that I didn’t pick someone up in jail,” He says. This is mostly for Cassandra’s comfort. It works. A little.

“She picked me up on campus,” Bull says and Cassandra reflexively punches him at about a quarter strength to make sure it gets through. “Ow. She’s not my student, she’s a legal adult, and she picked me up in not the way you think. No exchanges of bodily fluids. Promise, Pentaghast. Relax.”

“You can walk home,” Cassandra says, but she waits for him to slowly get into her car and adjust the seat before reversing out of her parking space and driving out of the lot.

“She’s one of Dalish’s friends,” Bull says, “Dalish brought her along last night when we went to try out a new bar. And it just so happened that while the drinks were pretty good the management was racist. She’s really interesting, I think you’d like her.”

Cassandra grunts.

“She’s Cullen’s house mate,” Bull adds on. “We actually know a lot of the same people.”

“Is she the blonde one?”

“No.”

“Lavellan?”

“Yeah?”

Cassandra groans, “You’re dating Solas’ child? He hates working with law enforcement as a consultant as it is. You had to go and start courting his pride and joy?”

“I’m not dating - Solas has a kid?”

[s3venpounds]

1-104

YA CHEEKY LITTLE CUNT love you tho because its always fun to do these asks even though everyone who reads will probs forget all these details in like the span of a week.

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

wanna go again?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

nothing anymore

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

depends on what drugs, the severity of the side effects, the cost of said drugs, and how addicted they are to it. like if its weed sure go ahead long as it isn’t around me not a big fan of the smell. crystal meth however i would probably be turned off or just attempt to get them off it. over the counter drugs though is fine too.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? yep

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes. horribly messed up. still think about it tbh

7. What does your last received text say? “ well i think you can just wax with whatever length but it wont be able to cling to your hair well”

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? lost count too busy being happy at the time

9. Where was your last kiss at? a bus stop

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? yesterday

11. What do you drink in the morning? nothing. i dont wake up in the morning

12. Where did you sleep last night? my couch because its fucking comfier than my bed

13. Do you think relationships are hard? most def. wouldn’t have it any other way though. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? yeah

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

yeah, the fact we haven’t talked in months, and because i’m pretty sure she wants nothing to do with me lol

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy? rainy, free shower

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? dont got a middle name so i guess yes?

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants? boxing shorts 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now? ahahaha no.

20. Does anyone like you? trust me, if i knew i would do something about it

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S? its rude to say but i don’t remember but from what i do remember its a no

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? not gay specifically at least from what i’ve been told by said person

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand? 3 people specifically. not gonna name them

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo? multiple times, talked to tattoo artists, people who had multiple tattoos, people who are first timers so yeah i want one maybe 5

25. In the past week have you cried? yeah anime hurts the feels bro

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?does pictures on tumblr count? if yes, a shiba inu, if no, golden retriever

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower? out of the shower, i feel like im gonna slip and fall if i stay in there too long

28. Have you ever kissed a football player? yeah he doesn’t use lip balm often so it was kinda rough

29. Do you think you’re old? yeah

30. Do you like text messaging? most def. i like texting more than talking since i can think about my words and play it off as just “ yeah i was busy” also i find myself a better conversationalist on texts than in person

31. What type of day are you having? a shitty one but i showered so im feeling refreshed at least

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? nope, i have thought about getting spider bites on my lower lip but i dont think i can pull it off

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? cold weather, i hate bugs and indoor volleyball is nice

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?yeah

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling? a relationship. flings hurt afterwards and to me theres no feelings behind it so youre left feeling empty

36. Are you a simple or complicated person? i wanna say simple but everyone knows everyones complicated. if someones simple that just means theyre not letting off everything at the get go

37. What song are you listening to? lie to me george nozuka

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? of course i do. does it mean i wont make the same mistake? nope. it just means i’ll take steps to preventing it from happening again. if it happens again then ill keep trying. all you can do when you fuck up is to just keep trying to prevent it from happening again. 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? i’d like to think so40. What made you start liking the person you like now?vibrant personality that draws you in. playful demeanor. likes geeky things like i do. has deep thoughts that make me want to ponder existence with them. likes physical intimacy. and the first thought when i saw her was that i wanted to protect her, care for her, and guide her in life if ever she needs help. 41. When did you last receive a text message? 8:43 am monday42. What is wrong with you right now? im not independent? i rely on friends and other stuff to grant me happiness when really the only source of happiness i can rely on if to draw it from myself. friends help but they can’t be the only source. i have trouble moving on from past issues, constantly weighed down by past decisions and mistakes when i should have passed it a long time ago.43. How well do you know the last female you texted? not very well however she knows me very well since i vent to her lol44. Does anyone disgust you? yeah the same 3 people i mentioned that i cannot stand.45. Would you date someone right now if they asked? most likely yeah46. Are you in a good mood right now? nope. neutral if anything47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?me mother before she left for a bus shuttle to fort mac48. What color shirt are you wearing? nude. no plans today, or guests so that means no pants, no shirt and occasionally if im feeling happy enough, no underwear either49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? not recently. i have a feeling that i’ve given off the vibe to all my friends that they have to tip toe around me about a lot of topics else they’ll make me sad. i’d rather a splash of cold water in the face than some shitty lie50. Anyone you’re giving up on? myself mostly.51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? i never hate the people i used to date. i hate the decisions i made that lead to breaking up. i tend to think things are never someone else’s fault but more of mine. even if by some weird chance it wasn’t i would twist it so it was my fault. its just easier for everyone that way if people have a scapegoat.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t? yeah.53. Do you like rain? i love it. sometimes on rare occasions i can almost feel the shitty person inside me just kinda slide off my skin and drip off the tips of my fingers and i feel … complete? is the best way i can put it54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? nope. party all you like, im just not too keen on drinking very often or partying very often. although when i do party ill party hard.55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? who hasnt?56. Do you like to cuddle? love it. spooning, arm on shoulder, hugging from behind, them sitting on your lap, them holding you from behind. my skin feels electric when the person i love has their skin against mine.57. Are you shy? i’d like to say im not58. Do you get along with girls? i’d like to say i do59. Have you dated the person you texted last? not going to lie hahah i considered it at some point60. What do you carry with you at all times? phone, wallet , keys.61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you? yeah most likely. the economy sucks bro.62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months? yeah assuming i dont fuck up lol63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?nope. sadly.64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute? DAMN STRAIGHT.  shit would be like a good luck charm65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? my niece tried to say duck and instead said fuck

66. How old are the last three people you kissed? probably going to get some questionable looks from this but 16, 24, 21

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself? pay for a pro, i am NOT an artistic person.   68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    zebra. black and white. leopard print makes me think a white 40 something year old with plastic surgery, hair thats half a meter tall and nails that are longer than most men’s penises talking with a southern belle accent that tries to hit on pool boys69. Do you have any stickers on your car? none70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne? i hate country and im not a fan of lil wayne anymore so i guess lil wayne if i absolutely have to.71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    android 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    couple days ago?73. Do you like diet soda?    hate it. feels fake to me74. What color are the walls in your room?    boring beige75. Are you 16 or older?    yes.76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    heard of it, seen gifs, dont plan on watching it77. Do you have a job?    as of now yeah.  78. What are your initials?    SM79. Did you ever have braces?  nope.  i had retainers but i kept breaking them so my parents were like okay thats enough, its too expensive to replace them lol80. Are you from the south?  im about as north as you can get without living in igloos

81. What does your last status on facebook say?    “day barely started and 4 things putting me in a shitty mood. looks liek today is gonna be loooooooooong”82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    i wish.83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    mother. although im not on good terms with either of them. my mother just has more patience to deal with me84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?   i did pom squad which was a pretty shitty version of cheerleading i guess. 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? beauty and the beast i thoroughly enjoyed it =]    86. Do you smoke?  weed or cigarettes? either one ive stopped both. not worth it, plus i dislike smelling gross.87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    i’ve worn heels before but not for a prolonged period of time but they felt nice so i’d say hells. flip flops keep making annoying sounds and it makes me grind my teeth thinking about it88. Is your phone touch screen?    yes89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?    straight. i’d love it to be a bit curly. i even permed my hair last year apparently it looked good says some friends of mine.90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    i snuck out last night lol. the family gave up on stopping me.91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    pool. rivers and lakes have the possibility of germs, leeches or other shit. its a hassle to have to take extra precautions92. Have you ever made out in a car?    yep.93. …Had sex in a car?    almost.94. Are you single or in a relationship?   single. 95. What were you doing last night at midnight?    playing overwatch with my friend reo.96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?    AW COME THE FUCK ON. the last relationship questions weren’t enough to jab a knife in my chest but this too? fuck. whatever. it was at capital ex or k- days whatever the fuck you wanna call it. i had fun. the fireworks wasn’t the only thing that sparked. fuck. instant bad mood.97. Do you like the camera on your phone? yeah its really good. i can take pictures of my friends and even see the condition of their pores and shit its pretty nice.   98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    nope. i’d like to try it though99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    not yet.100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  yeah. i should really just delete my facebook.  101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  nope.  102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    Die young103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    nope.104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts? sure why not. i’d probs wear assless chaps too if i had a nice ass

[somberspectraltrees]

So My Best Friend and I Keep a Journal

… We mail it back and forth after writing in it. Whatever comes to mind. Sometimes we keep it for a few weeks, sometimes we keep it for years before writing in it and mailing it back. I have had the journal since March 22, 2015 and haven’t mailed it back. We like this because no deadlines mean we will only write what we think is substantial. He really is my best friend. We just fucking get it. We were each other’s first loves (we met when we were both 15 years old) so we have known each other for over 20 years. There are no romantic entanglements with us now but that has never been the goal. We just aim to be as honest with eachother as possible. To make the relationship about romance would, I think, seriously degrade it. If soulmates are real, he’s mine. Anyways, I watched a documentary on HBO today (1-5-17) about binge drinking and alcoholism. Being that my ex-husband is an alcoholic and I “bravely” (i.e. stupidly) stood by his side for over 5 years after he finally admitted his problem (and then proceeded to drink and lie and hide things from me), what I saw didn’t surprise me. The stories captured were pretty run of the mill and I was unmoved. Living with an alcoholic I got very good at disconnecting but I was a bit shocked at how quickly and effortlessly I shifted into neutral while watching people’s lives spiral to a dark hell because of alcohol. One guy looked into the camera, crying, and said, “I’m going to lose my family if I can’t stop drinking.” Straightfaced I said, “Good. They are better off without you.” I felt the same about the other stories except the last one. The last one hit on my fears … The last guy is a severe alcoholic. The kind that goes to his car during his break at work to chug some beers. My ex did that. He kept a flask in the car so he could drink during breaks, before class, after class … he hid his empty bottles even after I pleaded with him to just leave the bottles on the counter. I enabled him by cleaning him up, putting trashcans next to his side of the bed -whatever was needed to make his disease easier, I did it. I woke up a few times in a panic because I heard him choking on his own vomit and had to turn him on his side. A few times I woke up to find him passed out on the couch with foam around his mouth, not breathing. I blamed myself for not being enough reason for him to get sober. I simply wasn’t enough and I punished myself every day for it. I left him once in 2012 and it nearly killed me. I left the situation for good in June of 2015 and wanted him to get better. But he didn’t. So … I got better instead and though, during our “fine-we-are-getting-a-divorce” fight, he accused me of leaving him and giving up on him, I knew in my heart I didn’t leave him. I left a situation that had slowly been killing me for years. I didn’t give up on him. I gave up on myself ever being enough reason for him to change. I loved him. Fiercely and often defiantly because that was all I knew. I struggled with guilt though about leaving him. “He could drink himself to death if I’m not there!” I thought. “I am a bad wife and an even worse friend to just leave him!” I reprimanded myself. But I didn’t “just leave him.” I tried for years and the only thing that happened was I hated myself more and I grew to hate the smell of old alcohol. To this day, if I smell it on someone’s breath, a hatred boils up inside me and I am disgusted. It’s an automatic response now. Like Pavlov’s dogs. In the documentary, the man says of his wife, “She is a saint for staying by me all of these years. It says a lot about her character that she didn’t leave me.” Fuck. Ouch! There it was. I really WAS a bad friend. Maybe I left too early. Maybe 5 years wasn’t enough time. I am a dick. A heartless dick that gave up on her friend. But then I opened this journal between my friend Joshua and I, and I read this entry where I confide in him that my ex (then-husband) confessed he was an alcoholic: “He finally broke down and told me he had a problem. I knew he had a problem but I didn’t know how big until he started to tell me. Stupidly, I tried to help change him but he played everything down. He went back to denying anything was wrong. Okay, I’m stopping the explanation. Point is, I have been getting better. It sucks to see R___ not getting better but I can do absolutely nothing. If I cared about that, I would die every day so I just don’t. My brain basically shut itself down in that department and it has been so long I forgot what it was like to care about, well, anything. I am working at caring about other things but I have to control where I put my energy. I have to restrain how and when I care, especially about R___. Is that awful? Maybe, but everybody I know who has had an alcoholic loved one has left them to save themselves. This is simply not an option for me. Though I can’t help him, I can keep an eye on him. What I see fucking sucks sometimes but if I’m not there with him, I feel like I am leaving him alone with a murderer. People can do what they want, but I do not leave my friends when life gets too hard to live.” Oh, Mary. Ohhhh, me. You didn’t fully understand that you were agreeing to die. Not with him, not for him, but in addition to him. You were fighting for his life, but he was not fighting for yours, even though he knew you were dying. Then, this entry the next day: “It’s 4:30 in the morning. I knew he had been drinking about 30 seconds before he walked in the front door. I could feel it in my bones.i felt myself shut down. It really is amazing (and borderline alarming) to watch/feel it happen. I don’t hate people so I have to wonder what it is when I see him like this and feel anger and hate. It’s not him but something is there that my soul cannot stand. I don’t think any part of me can stand it because I am on the couch now. I came here when he landed in bed next to me. I do not want to lay next to him right now and that is not like me. Usually I find such solace lying near him. I just know that if he were to even accidentally brush my skin right now, I would resent it. I have a hard time believing that a stranger ISN’T in my bed. This is bullshit. Need to think on things and not seethe. Don’t waste a moment, right?” Then I wrote the lyrics to “I Gave you All” By Mumford and Sons, and the lyrics to “Fragile Bird” by City and Colour. Why? Because I had run out of things to say but I still had more to get out. Anyways, it’s been a hell of a night tonight. I am tired and have been focusing on practicing my uke (its joyful plinks seem to realign my mind) but decided I need to write my thoughts down somewhere. Somewhere none of my friends (who know my ex) know about. I just needed to get this out. NOW! … . Back to my uke …

[jackblankhsh]

Giftmas 2017

For those who celebrate Giftmas, no child intends to fall asleep on Christmas Eve.  It happens without warning like getting punched in the dark, leaving you somehow angry with yourself not the Sandman who knocked you out.  One moment wide awake ears absorbing every sound for a sign of Santa, blink, and it’s morning.  Presents are under the tree, the only sign of any gift giving ninja, a half eaten cookie.  

Although, growing up, that unfinished cookie always made me suspicious.  I used to wonder what kind of fat man doesn't finish a cookie.  And being inclined the way I am, I sometimes worried Santa hated the treats I left for him.  That explained why one precious item, wanted above all others, never arrived.  I could imagine him taking a bite, his face contorting in disgust, and deciding then and there, "Fuck this kid." Back up chimney he flew, taking with him whatever I wanted most that year.  

But then one Giftmas something happened that changed my entire understanding of the holiday forever.  

In my annual fashion, I went to bed with the full of intention of staying awake, at the very least long enough to hear reindeer hooves on the roof.  I passed part of the time staring out my bedroom window.  Through frosted panes I observed a group of carolers strolling down the street, and my neighbor running outside to catch them.  

I heard him say, "Thank you for coming by, but none of you know how to sing.  So please just get away from my house."  

As they mercilessly beat him into the ground while singing "O Holy Night," I couldn't help noticing they gave new meaning to certain lyrics:  

"Fall on your knees!

O hear the angel's voices!"

I heard my Dad chuckling downstairs then calling for my Mom, "Honey you gotta see this.  Ziggy's gettin' his ass handed to him."  

Ziggy's wife came running out of the house.  A pot in one hand, she tossed ladlefuls of steaming hot cocoa at carolers.  The singers scattered, driven off by burning streams of molten chocolate.  Before the bloodthirsty wassailers could regroup she and Ziggy hurried back inside.  

In the aftermath of that altercation the silence that soon descended became particularly boring.  I reclined on the bed.  Staring at the ceiling I wondered why Santa preferred to work in such unnecessary secrecy.  He didn't want children to see him delivering gifts, yet every kid, inclined to Christmas or not, is aware Santa brings the presents.  It occurred to me there must be something about himself he didn't want people to witness, perhaps a deformed eye that frightened children, or maybe he smelled terrible -- flying at the speed required to make it around the world in one night, if a flying reindeer pooped or peed that probably flew right back all over Santa.  

Amidst these and other speculations I felt my eyelids growing heavy.  Resisting as much as I could I failed to fight off slumber.  However, sleep would not reign all night.

I can't entirely recall my dreams that evening, though one moment remains distinct.  I remember a chocolate cat and a gingerbread dog helping me climb a sugar-plum tree near the Lollypop Sea.  Almost to the top a lightning bolt blew the tree to pieces sending all three of us crashing to the ground.  

I saw the gingerbread dog broken open on hard candy stones, his peppermint innards spilled out all over; the chocolate cat, half melted by the lightning shook an angry paw at the sky screaming, “What hath God wrought?”

Thunder boomed over head, the sound loud enough to blow me back into the waking world.  I bolted upright, throwing myself out of bed.  I’ve woken up in worse ways since, but at the time, it was not pleasant.

Groaning in pain, I could still hear a dying echo of thunder.  That's when it dawned on me:  the sound originated in reality.  

Pounding steps hurried through the hall.  Someone shot passed my bedroom.  

I heard my Dad shouting as he ran downstairs, "What’s going on?"

Mom answered, "It's a mess that's what it is."

A frantic exchange ensued, both parents talking at once. Their heated dialogue congealed into an incomprehensible slurry.  Not knowing exactly what they said didn't change the tone of the conversation, I could tell something terrible must've happened.

When Mom shouted, "Well what was I supposed to do?"

The dialogue stopped.  

Cautiously I crept out of bed, sneaking downstairs to see the cause of the commotion.  I found my parents standing by the Christmas tree.  Mom shaking her head in disappointment, Dad staring, frowning at a body lying near the fireplace.  A snowy white beard wreathed what remained of its head the rest splattered across the mantle like a gruesome Jackson Pollok.  One of the feet still twitched, jiggling the belly, and jingling the buckle on a black leather boot.  My eye drifted from the corpse back towards my parents, specifically the shotgun at Mom's feet.  

Dad said, "What.  Happened?"

Mom replied, "I was going to the bathroom.  I heard someone downstairs, and thought, 'It's a burglar.'  So because waking you is like resurrecting the dead, I got the shotgun; but when I got down here I didn't see anyone, or anything except that."  She pointed at a gigantic sack in one corner.  She continued, "I went to look at it. Then I heard a floorboard creek. Turning around there's a lumbering bear-man coming out of the dark going, 'Ho, ho, ho.’ Like that explains a goddamn thing.  Wearing all red -- I thought he was covered in blood, so I shot him.  Twice."

Dad nodded in understanding.

Mom said, “Maybe if you weren’t in a vodka coma…”

“This is not the time for that conversation.”

“When’s it going to be the time?”

A thud came from the roof.  Snatching up the shotgun Dad went to the front door.  On his way he spotted me on the stairs.  

He said, "Don't go near the dead guy.  Got it?"

I nodded vigorously.  

He said, "Good.  Now be quiet," and he went outside.  A moment later he came back looking perplexed, and uncomfortably delighted like someone who just discovered there are dildos based on dragon dicks.  He said, "Ahhhh-okay.  There are reindeer... on the roof."  Mom opened her mouth to say something, but he held up a hand, “I repeat, ‘There are reindeer... on the roof.’"

Mom went outside.  Not wanting to miss this, I followed her.  Sure enough, up on the house top, eight tiny reindeer hitched to a sleigh.

Looking at me Mom said, "What are you doing outside without a jacket?  Get back in the house before you freeze to death."

I trudged back inside.  I didn't feel like I needed a jacket.  Though it must be said, knowing your Mom has killed someone implies a greater legitimacy to such observations -- if anybody knows death, it’s her.  After getting a jacket I went back out in time to see Dad position a ladder next to the house.  

"What are you doing?" Mom asked.  

Dad said, "Hoping this is just a meth fueled prank."

He went up the ladder.  Mom scanned the block to see if any neighbors might be observing us. Dad went quickly up, and soon quickly descended.

"Okay," he said, "I tried to pet a reindeer to keep it calm -- I didn't want to get knocked off the roof.  Anyway, it hopped away from me, and hovered in the air."

"So they're real flying reindeer," I said with unrestrained joy.

Without looking at me Dad said, "Son, this is a really messed up situation.  I'm gonna need you to be quiet, while your Mom and I figure this out."

"What's to figure out?" Mom said, "We should call the police."

Dad shook his head, "Honey, believe me, we cannot become the family that killed Santa.  That's just not gonna end well for us."  

Truer words have rarely been spoken.  Even the implication of killing a beloved holiday icon is too risky.  The previous Easter Eugene MacAndrews ran over a rabbit with his lawn mower, and by unfortunate coincidence the local kiddie egg hunt didn’t occur.  Later that night a mob in bunny masks burned down the MacAndrews’ home.  

So my parents swiftly conceived a plan.  Then we spoke not a word, going straight to work. Mom went up on the roof to make the reindeer dash away, dash away all.  Meanwhile, Dad dealt with Father Christmas’ corpse.  He rolled Pere Noel up in a tarp from the garage.  It took considerable effort, but acting with little care Dad dragged and stuffed St. Nick in the trunk of the car.  

Mom came into the garage carrying a short whip. In disgust she said, "There's a whip in the sleigh.  What kind of a person whips a defenseless animal?"

Dad asked, "Did you use it?"

"No!  I fed them bits of apple then tossed a handful in the air, and they went off after them.  They seemed very hungry.  I'm starting to think he was not a good person."

“It’s entirely possible,” Dad said.  Closing the trunk he added, “We’ll never really know.”

He got Santa's toy sack from the living room, jammed it in the back seat then we piled in the car, and drove off.  For some reason, not yet clear to me, my parents insisted I come with.  We stopped at a gas station to fill a can with gasoline.  Afterwards, Dad took us to an abandoned mall on the edge of town. There he and Mom hoisted the dripping tarp into a dumpster.  

While Dad poured gasoline inside the bin, Mom knocked on the car window.  She gestured for me to come out.  Still unsure why they needed me I reluctantly exited the car.  When I neared the dumpster Dad got down on one knee.  

Placing a hand on my shoulder he said, "Son, you're only six, so I don't expect you to fully get this, but in order to equally share the blame we all have to take part."  He handed me a box of matches, "You'll understand when you're older."

"I'm not supposed to play with matches," I said.

Mom said, "This one time it's okay."

Doing my best to pretend like I didn't know how, I lit a match.  As I cupped the tiny flame in my hands Dad picked me up.  He held me over the dumpster, and I dropped it in.  

For a minute we watched the fire bloom, observing this macabre Yule log because, as Mom insisted, we needed to be sure the body burned.  We watched the crackling fire gradually turn green, and spit Christmasy sparks into the sky, a faint aroma of peppermint permeating the air.  Then we went home, stopping briefly to deposit the sack in a drop-box for toy donations.  

The next morning I went downstairs expecting to find nothing under the tree.  However, I discovered a small stack of gifts.  Seeing me shocked, my parents chuckled.

Dad said, “Those are from your Mom and me.”

“There’s always been something from us,” Mom said.

I couldn’t believe my good fortune.  What a glorious Giftmas miracle:  Santa dead, and kids still get gifts.  Then I realized something:  parents gave presents as well, but Santa got all the credit.  It didn’t seem right.  But it also made me wonder what would the world really be missing without Santa in it?  Presents still end up underneath the tree.  They just haven’t been delivered by some magical package handler.  I know.  My mom shot him, and I watched his corpse burn.  It seemed to me the world would get on just fine without Santa Claus.

[amfportfolio-blog1]

I smell a rat

Overnight I became a rat. I don't know how or why but impossibly, my ears are sharp icicle points, my nose is long and rough and gnarly daggers extend from between a jagged mouth. My tail, tail, like a whip it follows and wisps behind me, as though it has a mind of its own. The claws of my feet rattle against the floor with every scurrying scamper, ringing against the tiled floor like rain against glass. My new form abides every thought and follows my every command. I have become what people see me as. A dirty, flee ridden, creature, with no trustworthy intentions. I can admit I am quite a difficult person. I'm intelligent, handsome, sarcastic and narcissistic, (I know aren't those people just the worst). But underneath this chiselled, olive toned exterior lives a man looking for the love which he'd been neglected as a small boy.  If only.

Friends, not something I have come by very often. Although, there has always been my trusty ally Bruno, my golden retriever. He loves me dearly, despite his three escape attempts (we've moved on from that tiff) and he sleeps soundly on the end of my bed. I had one friend just the other day, I asked to read his paper on the train, to which he smiled and said, "Course you can, here you are." There was also the time a couple of years ago, on my twenty third birthday that I'd managed to hold on to a boy from childhood; a man now really. Liam was his name and he was my opposite, with skin like chalk and a sweet and sour personality, which parents and cats seem to adore. He was handsome in a less obvious way to most (including myself) yet he always had a lot of friends. However, I dare say he envied my charm, and ease when speaking to women. After years of 'friendship', he stopped talking to me once he found out I'd been fucking his girlfriend.

You're probably wondering how I can talk so calmly while I twitch my new ears and swish my tail. Well, I've had several dreams of this. Of becoming a rat, tormenting humans and invading their rubbish, eating their cheese and crackers. Although I would always wake up. After several visits through the neighbourhood, I would awake. Yet hours later, here I am. Watching my reflection in the oven door, my beady eyes as empty as shadows.

Honestly, I've been waiting for something exciting to happen to me for a long time. I tire easily and cannot stand the constant familiarity of mundane life. Therefore I embrace this new body and will make of it what I can, for however long or short it may be. Bruno may even enjoy the company of a smaller creature. (Our games of hide and seek will be intriguing indeed. )

*

Two days have passed since I awoke as a rodent and in my sleep, dreams or flashbacks as it were have begun to occur. I hadn't considered the possibility that perhaps I had endured excruciating pain like the werewolf transformations in 'Van Helsing', but if my flashbacks are correct; thank the lord and all that is mighty for my ignorance.

My flashbacks are inconsistent and random, although some images reoccur each night - including a hoarse scream bursting from my lungs as my flesh and skin rip away from my bones. The throbbing ache as the bones over my body collapse to the size of rice granules, the shock as my eyes shift from ocean blue to pitiless, empty black shells and my least favourite part, the thick layer of grey, matted fur covering my new, miniscule, rat sized body. This new, exciting event is not all I thought it would be. I'd thought I could live like I had in my dreams, rustle through a few more bin bags, help myself to cheese and crackers, burrow inside of a sofa cushion. Every time I've tried, newspapers are thrown against me, spades loom above to squish away my insignificant life.

I'd thought I could be better as a rat, attempt a new life where I am not a complete failure to everyone I've ever met and then alienated in the process. I'd thought wrong. The disgust  I'd once felt from people, the women I'd abandoned minutes after burying myself in them, the parents I'd alienated myself from and the friends I'd cheated and lied to, what I felt now was all of this and more. More hate and disgust; more than I could stand. Even me, a heartless, twenty seven year old male who for the past ten years has chosen not to feel a thing. I blame my parents for who I have grown to be. Wouldn't anyone? They named me Carl for starters. One of those names where teeth snap and tongues curl from the sound. My mother, bless her heart was a sweet woman until she caught my Father fulfilling his duties with another woman. She didn't say anything of course, the delicate flower that she is wouldn't dare shatter the seemingly perfect life that everyone thinks she has. My sister, Tess is the only good one out of us all. She got the good gene's, my Mum's immaculate skin and hair and Dad's quick wit and confident manor. I was dealt the worst hand of course, but none the less I try to be as separate from them as possible. They live the charmed life of a wealthy, retired couple living for nothing in a country house on the outskirts of Buckinghamshire. Mum's only keeping up appearances, in her attempt to hold things together for the children. Dad wouldn't change for anything and I would assume is still getting his weekly dose from the dog walker down the road. Last time we were all together was Christmas three years ago. Mum had cooked for all four of us and  by the time we'd all sat down, Dad was already pissed, Tess had an air of chaos about her and couldn't keep her eyes from checking the clock. Probably had an item on eBay she was meant to bid on. I wouldn't have turned up at all if Mum hadn't threatened to pick me up herself, and the thought of my mother's meddling hands dancing over my things gave me  no other option. If that wasn't bad enough, Dad's eyes wandering up and down the help's behind had Mum crashing full bottles of wine against the newly painted, pearl white walls. It had only been a couple of weeks since Mum had followed Dad to the thirty something blonde's home, where she watched him rip the blouse from her body. Unfortunately for Mum, Dad didn't care all that much anymore, so whether she said something or not, it probably wouldn't make the slightest difference to him anyway. Which brings us back to Christmas dinner, where Mum's lost her marbles, Tess has lost something on eBay and Dad's hammered. Merry fucking Christmas.

Later on that day, Tess went outside for a phone call and by the looks of it, there's no second chance bid on this item. I used to be quite close with my Sister when we were younger, but then again who isn't? Up until the age of eighteen, it was us against Mum and Dad. They were relatively happy at that point, mostly because they had an equal hatred for my disobedience at the time. We shared the same interests and had a knack for water colour paintings. I went through stages of theft and vandalism of all properties I could get my hands on, but Tess always hated my hobby and instead urged me to carry on painting. When Tess learnt that I couldn't be told to do anything, she joined me on the occasion, to supervise until she found her new and current husband. William. She fell head over heels for him and married him within a year. They had an all expenses paid wedding on behalf of our delightful parents, and it took all of my ability and self control not to piss all over the whole thing. Will was an unemployed, aspiring to be writer while Tess flitted between jobs looking for something that made her blood sing. Firstly she tried to become a masseuse, and then a swimming teacher for children and now her current position within the pharmacy.  Five years later and she is still looking.

*

My fourth day as a Rat sent me to my parent's house in the country. The journey was long and the house difficult to see when moving so low down on the ground. I tried my best to stay hidden from the people walking along the same path, but everyone now and then they'd catch sight of my tail as it slithered underneath a bush. The girls would scream and run in the opposite direction and the boys creep forward to get a closer look. Fingers point and rocks are thrown to scare me away. In that moment I want to awake from this endless dream of torment. I look down at my claws, thick and yellow with dirt clinging to the tips. My fur is matted and wet, and my skin beneath itches , probably from fleas. Something which seemed like an exciting adventure three days ago, has now become something to escape at all costs. The impossibility of what has happened is not lost to me and I wonder if denial has stunned me to the point that hope is all that keeps me going. The hope that I won't remain a disgusting, creature forever.

It takes me the whole day to reach my parent's home and as I walk up the driveway, I see a glow through the window. Running around the back of the house, as expected the back door is left wide open. I tip toe (if a rat can really tip toe) over the threshold and dash across the terracotta tiles on the kitchen floor, into the hallway and through to the living room. To my surprise, Tess's voice is the first I hear amongst the clatter of tea spoons, tea cups and saucers. Mum has set out a spread of finger sandwiches and scones (how very traditional) with conserves and butter. Tess pauses to grasp at a scone and gnaws into it, barely stopping to breath around each bite. Someone's hungry. She reaches for a handful of the sandwiches and places them on her lap, her eyes dance from my mother's to her lap. Her eyes look erratic and wild, dark bags hang beneath them and her hair seems duller than its normal, golden shimmer.

'There's a lot I haven't told you Mum.'  Tess begins and shoves a sandwich in her mouth. She chews it slowly, her eyes are closed appreciatively .

'Tell me what's wrong Poppet, you don't look yourself.' Her hand strokes away the stray hair from Tess's eyes. 'And you've lost weight! Is everything okay at home? Are you and Will okay? He's not making you do this is he? You're perfect already, please tell me what's happening.'

'Okay, Mum, Stop,' Tess swallows the rest of the sandwich. 'Me and Will, we're having a few money problems at the minute. He's finding it hard to get a job, he loves to write so much and he's so talented. You should hear some of the things he's written, it's beautiful.' A smile lifts her face for the first time. I inch forward so that my nose is only just hidden beneath the cabinet. 'I want him to do well, so he writes most of the time. He work's when he can, he's trying to get a job as a teacher but he hasn't really got the qualifications. I'm still working at the pharmacy, but  they've cut my hours way down. It hasn't been easy, the last couple of years.' Mum reaches for Tess's hand and she squeezes it.

'Oh, Tess I wish you would have told me, I can lend you some money no problem. You should have come to me sooner.' Mum giggles and kisses Tess on the cheek.

'No Mum, you don't understand.' Tess looks down at her lap again, her fingers pull away the crusts from the sandwiches. She always refused to eat the crusts. 'We don't have anything left. Will, he's...he's got a gambling problem. This all started years ago. He'd just been let go from his job at the newspaper and he went to the casino and won a bit of money. But he kept going back, over and over again. Winning money on top of money. He was doing so well and then he lost it all. We lost everything. We've been trying to make ends meet ever since. Everything was so perfect and now it's just awful. We've sold everything in the house. The car is gone, I had to sell my guitar's and Will sold his entire art collection. I don't know what else we can do.' Tess leans her head against Mum's shoulder and weeps silently. I had no idea that Tess was having such a bad time. The last time I saw her was when she visited me on my birthday two years ago. I hadn't even bothered given her the time of day.

'Well, I'm sure Carl will help out too.' Mum says, but her tone says otherwise.

'Oh come on Mum, you don't still think he cares about us do you? When was the last time he called for a chat? Or popped round to see how you're doing? I sure as hell haven't had a visit from him recently.' Tess chomps down on another sandwich. 'He only cares about himself. Unfortunately he is his father's son.' Mum nods to herself and raises the teacup to her lips. She blows into the cup and sips. I think of the last time I saw her, three or four months ago when she turned up at my house with biscuits and a photo album. I turned her away with the excuse that I was late for work, when really I was heading to the gym. I ignored all of her calls after that too. Someone won't be winning son of the year anytime soon. I feel a draft and then a slam as the front door is closed. A pair of black boots enter the room, my eyes follow up the legs to my father's face. His hair is gray all over now and his once strong jaw has begun to sag.

'Tess, what are you doing here?' Dad says and kisses the top of her head.

'Just thought I'd come and say hello.' Tess continues to look at her lap as if there is something very interesting there, other than the sandwiches and scones. 'Haven't seen you in a while, how have you been?'

'Oh good enough, still alive and kicking.' He stands there for a while, neither looking or speaking before he claps his hands together loudly. 'Right, well. Best be off, still early and got a few more errands to run. See you later Poppet.' He walks out of the room and leaves with a short wave. Before Tess can even reply, the front door opens and closes again. The sound of tyres scraping against the gravel signals his exit.

'He's always very busy these days.' Mum mutters and continues drinking her tea. Tess rolls her eyes. 'So, Yes. I'll give you whatever money you need. I'll sort everything. And don't you worry about your Dad, it'll be our little secret.' Tess nods and hugs Mum tightly. 'Now, don't you start that again. I've told you, everything will be fine.'

'I know Mum, I believe you.' Tess takes a deep breath and turns to face Mum. 'About a month or so ago, I was two weeks late. I was pregnant.'

'Oh darling, that's excellent news. I've been waiting for this for years. I'm finally going to be a Grandma.' Mum's smile oddly resembled that of a Cheshire Cat, but the tears continue to roll down Tess's cheeks. 'Why are you crying Tess?'

'We still had no money a month ago Mum. I was scared and Will was in a bad place. He was drinking more and I know he we was spending most of his nights in the casino.' Tess's fingers are clenched so tightly together they begin to turn very white. 'I had an abortion. It was the only option I could think of. I haven't told Will. It would break his heart, he'd hate himself for it and I can't do that to him.' Tess lets her head fall into her hands, while Mum wrapped my sister's shaking body within her arms. My small, insignificant heart tightens to see Tess in so much pain. I had no idea she'd been in such trouble and hadn't cared enough to pick up the phone and ask. Mum and Tess continue to mumble in the background while I look back on each time I'd seen or spoken to Tess, what she looked like, how she seemed and whether she'd tried to reach out to me. I come out blank. Without realising I shuffle forwards and Mum immediately notices her son, the rat and my nose poking out from the cabinet. She screams and grabs onto Tess. Following the direction of her stares, Tess quickly bounces into action. She takes a pillow and the shoe from her foot. Rising from the sofa she slowly creeps towards me and lowers to her knees a meter away from me. I look at her eyes, still wet with tears and wonder how I could have left my little sister all alone for so long. Tess raises the shoe high above her head, ready to exterminate my life with the heel of her sandal. I edge backwards, out of sight and range of the shoe and rush out from under the cabinet the way I came in. I don't let myself stop, I feel as though I'm leaping through a pop-up book, I can hear the shouts and screams coming from behind me and their attempts to hit me with anything in sight. Something heavy slams against my back and I falter for a second. I turn my head around and crumbled on the ground (and partly on my fur) is a scone. I run ahead and escape through the door and into a large bush. Without looking back, I begin my long journey back home.

*

I arrive home and the night has come and gone. It is my fourth day as a rat and there are no signs of it changing anytime soon. I hurry across the lawn of my back garden and clamber up the steps and through the dog flap, into the kitchen. Bruno is sprawled across the sofa with his head positioned perfectly on a pillow with the words 'relax' written on it. My claws cause taps to sound on the floor and Bruno's foot begins to twitch. He's always been a light sleeper, and it's why he's made such a good guard dog. I head towards the square slots in the cabinets that I installed specifically for wine bottles. I climb into the first one and cling to the edge of the one above with my claws. My arms and legs are stronger than I expect and I reach the surface in no time. As I hoped, tucked away in the corner is a loaf of bread and a pile of grapes. Wasting no time, I let my teeth guide and dig into the loaf, tearing small chunks away and holding it between my claws. A few bites later and I reach for a grape and make to go back down the 'ladder'. Sitting down watching me is Bruno, his eyes are alert and aware and his tail swishes slowly from side to side. I inch forward and his eyes follow me. He licks his lips and waits patiently for me to give myself over to him. To gain an edge, I pounce in the other direction towards the front door and go flying across the counter and land flat on the floor. Bruno makes a run for me and I only just escape his teeth snapping at my tail. My legs continue to run, driving me towards the large tree stood in the corner of the garden. As I approach, my eyes focus on something at the foot of its trunk. It's a bird nest and buried beneath twigs, grass and leaves are three very small and perfectly oval bird eggs. Only a week ago, this same nest had been stationed directly above me on one of the branches of the tree. The heavy winds and rain must have knocked it down. I crawl into the nest and nestle beneath the twigs and leaves. Peeping over the edge, I can see Bruno has been distracted by the shadow of leaves on the paving stones, however from the bushes, emerge two large, identical rodents. Their eyes are piercing like ink and the noses point towards me, directing them like a compass. Jumping from the nest, I stand before it on my hind legs. The eggs will become dinner if I don't try to protect them. In an attempt to appear scary, I raise my claws in front of me (if I was still human, it would look like I was ready to box) and let a mangled, growl escape my mouth. The noise is sharp and feels strange to my ears. I do it again, clawing at clumps of mud and grass also and throw it at the rats. The rats grow larger as they approach, the shadows following them, loom over and create a theatrical show of jagged points and hunched bodily forms. The rats hesitate for a while, frozen  in place by their hunger to eat and their uncertainty towards me, but eventually they move on and disappear from sight. Without hesitation, I clasp my teeth to the nest and drag it towards the house, up the stairs and through the dog flap. While Bruno continues to play with the leaves, I look around the room in search for places to leave the birds nest. I spy the wooden, thatched newspaper basket and manage to fit the nest amongst the newspapers and magazines. I create a makeshift fort by tearing up the newspapers and creating a tipi like roof to the nest. I stand back and admire my work before I'm over come with exhaustion. I have no concept of the day or time, but in that second it doesn't matter and I crawl in next to the bird nest and fall asleep.

*

When I awake, the night has passed and the sky is a bright, cloudless blue. Unsurprisingly, I remain a rat, but I decide not to dwell on that too much. Instead, I peek through to check on the bird eggs before crawling out of the basket and over to the wine holders. Bruno has taken position on the sofa once again and this time he is awake. His eyes watch me, but this time I get the sense that he does not intend on chasing or eating me today. I continue up through the holes to the bread and resume my nibbling. The surface of the counter (that I'd considered too small before and planned on extending) seemed larger than life today. I pick a firm, maroon grape and sink my teeth into the sweet and sour juices underneath the skin. I think of Liam, and his sweet and sour personality. His girlfriend of three years that I'd seduced and slept with. The childhood memories we'd shared as we grew up together. I think of my sister and her struggles. How could I have changed so much? How did we go from fighting our battles together to barely trying to fight at all? I stroll towards the microwave to see my reflection and jump back so far I almost fall over the edge. The last time I had seen myself, my fur was a grey, murky brown layered with thick grease. My ears were pointed and my eyes were black. Yet now it all seems different. My fur is softer, my teeth not so yellow, and my claws are short and blunt (the way they should be). But the biggest difference is the piercing, blue of my eyes. I stare on and on into the same eyes that I was born with. The very eyes my Mum had passed along to Tess and me. I can't help but watch the emotion and the reactions of them. Just as I step forward a little further, the home phone rings. I go to answer it and then stop myself immediately. It goes to the answer machine and I hold my breath as the familiar, soothing tone of Mum's voice sings throughout the room.

'Hello Carl, I haven't heard from you in a while, I hope everything is okay?' A genuine smile unfurls inside of me and I lean towards the phone to listen carefully. 'I wouldn't have called, except there was a rat in the house yesterday and I'm worried that there might be a nest of them somewhere. Can you pop around and have a look if you have time? I would really appreciate it. Speak soon, it's Mum by the way.' The message cuts off and I feel a weight lifting off of me. A part of me had thought she would stop caring, but she never had. She was never the problem. I return back to the microwave and my eyes are like oceans of rapid waters. My tail has shrunken down to a small stump and with glee I jump down from the counter onto the floor. I dash towards the basket, where the nest of eggs rest. Inside the tipi, the eggs are shaking around in the nest and paper. Once again I clamp my teeth on the edge of the nest and drag it from the basket, across the kitchen floor and through the dog flap. I return the nest to the bottom of the tree and wait patiently for the eggs to slowly hatch. First one crack appears on an egg and then another and another until all of the eggs have broken and released its small inhibitors into the world. Before I can decide what to do next, a bird with grey and orange feather's swoops down and somehow manages to carry all three of the baby creatures. The birds, which were covered in slime were also a similar shade of grey and so for their sakes I hope that they have been saved and reunited with their mother. With my claw, I scratch behind my ear and feel the shedding of my fur as clumps and chunks fall onto the ground, along with the tainted history of my malice.

[themagicaltunaa]

You must answer everything tuna

Wow thats a lot a questions

alright lets do this 

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

IZZY NO

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Never kissed anyone like that so???? ok theres a lot of questions with relationship or kissing shit so im just gonna put this ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ every time i see one that i cant really answer

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

hmm I don't really know??????

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

yup

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

nope i dont think ive ever wanted anyone

7. What does your last received text say?

is this you?

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

9. Where was your last kiss at?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

never because i dont have a sister

11. What do you drink in the morning?

coffee. cant start the day without coffee

12. Where did you sleep last night?

in my room

13. Do you think relationships are hard? 

tbh yeah

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

oh my god yes theres so many things that i regret doing my dude. hell just let me go back one day im fine with that

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

rainy because it give an excuse to just stay in my house and lay in bed all day

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

oh man i hope not. i feel bad for anyone that has the same middle name as me

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

basketball shorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

no

20. Does anyone like you?

lol no

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

myself

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

nope

25. In the past week have you cried?

dude i cry at least 5 times a week. last time i cried because i didnt have any mac n cheese to eat with my chicken nuggets

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

a black lab!

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

outside of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ also i hope you mean like before theyve played because holy shit im pretty sure someone could die standing next to one of them. you ever been near a football player after a game??? most disgusting smell ever like fucking hell its so bad

29. Do you think you’re old?

im not even 20 yet so no

30. Do you like text messaging?

id rather talk face to face with friends. im not so good with keeping up with texting

31. What type of day are you having?

ive been having the same lazy day for the past 2 months. its never gonna end

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

nope

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

cold. id rather freeze than die in the floridian heat

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

lol nope

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

a relationship. never understood flings

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

both. im horrible

37. What song are you listening to?

nothing atm, but these two songs have been playing on repeat in my head for the past week

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

it depends

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

hmmm 

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

i dont like anyone so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41. When did you last receive a text message?

at 10 AM

42. What is wrong with you right now?

Everything my dude, everything.

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

ive known them since middle school so pretty well????

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

nope 

46. Are you in a good mood right now? 

i dont remember the last time i was in a good mood

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person? 

my mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? 

black

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah my mom yesterday

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

no??

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yeah a few times with some people. there are some that i have finally given up on tho and i feel a lot better now

53. Do you like rain?

yes!

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

as long as they dont do it too much im fine with it

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

nope ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

56. Do you like to cuddle?

no

57. Are you shy?

very

58. Do you get along with girls?

it depends really??? hmm yeah i guess i get along with other girls a little better than guys but thats not saying much because im terrified of talking to people anyways.

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

my phone and my headphones

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

bruh i dont care if i get killed by a ghost or some shit thats 1 million dollars imagine what i can do with that money. like its either i die from like a heart attack from seeing my own shadow in a haunted house or i get 1 million dollars its a win win situation

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

lmao hell no

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my cats exist thats the cute thing that happened

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?

neither

69. Do you have any stickers on your car?  

i dont even have a car

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

neither. also whos luke bryan?

71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone?

android

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?

man i havent had any in like 4, maybe 5 years???? good thing im getting some on my bday courtesy of my friend

73. Do you like diet soda?

ew no

74. What color are the walls in your room?

theyre the same purple that theyve been since middle school

75. Are you 16 or older?

yup, turning 20 this month

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?

nope

77. Do you have a job?  

nope :\

78. What are your initials?

AC

79. Did you ever have braces?

nope. my mom was never able to afford them

80. Are you from the south?

well im from south florida. is florida even considered part of the south????? like im pretty sure florida is its own thing

 81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

dont have one

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?

definitely my mom

84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?

nope

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?

the lego batman movie. 10/10 would recommend

86. Do you smoke?

ew no

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?

flip flops

88. Is your phone touch screen?

yeah???

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly?

curly

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?

i cant even walk out of my room at 2 in the morning without my mom waking up and telling me to go to sleep. also im pretty sure my mom would beat me with a chancleta just for thinking of sneaking out

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?

i prefer beach but pool is good too i guess

92. Have you ever made out in a car?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ 

93. …Had sex in a car?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿   ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

94. Are you single or in a relationship?

single

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

on youtube watching lets plays

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?

new years

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?

eh its not as good as an iphone camera but i dont take pictures so yeah i could care less about the camera

98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?

i dont drink

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?

i dont have facebook

101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?

∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ dont you have to have sex in order for that to happen ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

102. Name your favorite Kesha song: 

?

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?

nope i lost them ages ago. im so pale

104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?

   1. i dont like wearing shorts 

   2. why would i ever wear cowboy boots

   3. why the fuck would i wear cowboy boots with shorts like yall think im gonna walk around lookin like that i look like a hot mess 110% of the time what makes you think i can pull that off. yeah lemme walk around with my pasty ass white legs showin and boots, lookin like the saddest goblin cowgirl you’ll ever lay your eyes on. no thanks.

ok i think im done for the day

[etomia]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

You want breakfast? 

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

Awkwardly avoiding each other and not showing that we had a thing or the weird chemistry we have when we have to be at the same social situation. 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

are they still living their life and not going to sell all our stuff or rob people for the drugs? yes? then I ain’t bothered.

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

No

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

I have never successfully expressed wanting someone without fucking it up at some point, but yeah definitely.

7. What does your last received text say?

see you at home :)

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

More than 50 times

9. Where was your last kiss at?

In their lounge.

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

I saw my half sister at countdown the other day.

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Earl grey

12. Where did you sleep last night?

Middle of my queen sized bed.

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

Yes and no. It should be pretty easy if its the right person platonic or otherwise, but disagreements happen and sometimes life is messy and in those times when people get spiky its hard to maintain total love and understanding. Totally worth the hard work sometimes.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you?

Yeah id workout more, read more, and i would’ve tried harder to see things the way they actually are not what i’m afraid they are.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Yeah we aren’t talking to each other bc they can’t decide what the thing we have is to them . I won’t wait around like a lost puppy for anyone anymore like i did with her 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

yeah my cousin alessia

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

jorts

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

I’d like to think so but i’m not fussed if that doesn’t haooen

20. Does anyone like you?

platonically? a few people. 

romantically? i think one or two

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Sarah. Simon. Saskia. Simone. Sam. Sebastian. Shay. Sophie. Siobhan. 

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

nope they’re bi

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

there’s a list.

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

shit fam i have a list of them that i want but zero dollars for them

25. In the past week have you cried?

yeah a couple times

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

pomeranian the teacup sized variety 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

out of wtf

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

not a pro footballer but a few guys and girls ive kissed played on school teams 

29. Do you think you’re old?

not physically im mentally weary 

30. Do you like text messaging?

yeah

31. What type of day are you having?

lazy typical and kinda boring

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

again yeah but i have zero dollars

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

warm

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

i have a limited amount of male figures in my life. 

I guess Cam (who is sort of a father figure).

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Right now a fling or a series of them. But im open to the idea of a relationship.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

I’m complex.

37. What song are you listening to?

Seven Devils by florence + the machine

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

9/10 times the other time im having to apologise to those with power over me for things that really don’t matter 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

There’s 3 of them. 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

Their drunken rendition of light my fire, but i already liked them we’ve grown up around each other. 41. When did you last receive a text message?

an hour ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

im isolated and self conscious. I worry about not being able to succeed at uni  43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

she’s practically my mom 44. Does anyone disgust you?

So many. 45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Yeah but it depends who it is obviously. 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

I’m pretty chilled out rn. 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

housemate 48. What color shirt are you wearing?

purple 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

yeah a couple of people 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

No i got rid of all of those people a long time ago. 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

No they are still very dear to me. I still love them.

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

yeah but then i did eventually. 53. Do you like rain?

love it love the way it smells love standing in it 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

no 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

bro....all the time i can think of 2 people right now 56. Do you like to cuddle?

i am a koala mate i love me some cuddles 57. Are you shy?

shy to start but when i get going no 58. Do you get along with girls?

historically no something always happens.  59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

no 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

claddagh ring? deep sense of self loathing? absurd hope and romanticism? 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

yeah i ain’t afraid of no ghost (also i have sage and black tourmaline) 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

definitely  63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

with my hand. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

yes ugh so fluffy 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

my housemate made me crepes 

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

22 19 18

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

get them done      68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?    

zebra 69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

i dont have a car 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?  

lil wayne   71. Blackberry, Android, or iPhone? 

iPhone    72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

5 years ago 73. Do you like diet soda?    

no 74. What color are the walls in your room?  

off white   75. Are you 16 or older?   

yes  76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

I’ve seen too much im invested til the end 77. Do you have a job?    

nope   78. What are your initials?   

RGN  79. Did you ever have braces?  

not yet fucking orthodontist said i couldn’t get them till my wisdom teeth come down   80. Are you from the south?    

I feel this is more of an america question but nope im a westie

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

  star emojis great festival 82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

hahaha fuck no  83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

neither we don’t speak 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

i did both before i broke my knees 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?    

Asassins creed 86. Do you smoke?    

socially a few durries or some joints

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

heels 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

straight    90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?    

quite a lot 91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

lake 92. Have you ever made out in a car?  

yes   93. …Had sex in a car?    

uhhhh does a campervan count? 94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

single  95. What were you doing last night at midnight? 

sleeping    96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?   

new years  97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yeah 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?    

a few times but it doesn’t really work out 99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

i try not to but a few times 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  

yeah the old wolfpack   101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?    

once but then i remembered i was infertile because of my pcos and laughed 102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   

 take it off 103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    

my bikini is etched into my back 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    

heck yes i can serve you daisy duke realness bih

[krayns]

All :p

THANKS A! okay ill skip the ones M already asked me!

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say? 

LOLOL, well it was the GC so I would say hey bitches wus good. ACTUALLY. I’D BE LIKE YALL CAN LOOK BUT CANT TOUCH CAUSE YALL BITCHES BE GETTING THE WRONG IDEA, and told yall bout a good million times Im just not interested. Pls take a hint.

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

WELL. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, bc he was a lowlife scrub who I do not need in my life at all. Blocked & erased my history 

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care? 

UM…. yes bc I would care about my partner and would want the best for them……. so I wouldnt want them on drugs 24/7

4. Is your last name longer than six letters? 

OMG its exactly 6 letter BISH.

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober? YA GIRL WAS DRUNNNNK IN LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE 

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

OMG NO. Im never the one to mess it up SMH, im the one left to clean up the mess SMFH 

7. What does your last received text say? “Or nahhh” 

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed? 

LMFAO what kind of question. YALL REALLY THINK I SIT THERE AND COUNT EVERYTIME I KISSED MY MAN LIKE LOL?????????  Lets just say I kissed him WAY too many times than he deserved. (V many times tho bc who doesn’t love a good smooch)

9. Where was your last kiss at? 

BRUH. my ex mans house OK NEXT 

10. When is the last time you saw your sister? 

well I have 2, and a few hours ago before they both went to sleep bc they youngins. 

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Ya girl likes her steaming hot cup of TEA in the morning. Gotta have my daily tea. 

12. Where did you sleep last night? 

My mans crib ;) why you care tho?

13. Do you think relationships are hard? LOL. They’re hard if you make em hard. And if you’re partner is stressin you then hell yeah. But I mean no relationship is perfect. Its all about working through those hard times and that honestly makes the relationship stronger. 

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

YES. I would’ve left the trash ass ugly piece of garbage that treated me like shit and used the hell out of me, before I got super attached to him and let him walk all over me. DEFS wish I could’ve left his fuck boy ass long time ago, shouldn’t have let things lasted as long as they did.

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO. bruh. YOU ARE ASKING FOR A WORLD WAR 3. im crying could you imagine. OH he would be shook. That or he would have the best sex of his life lbr. 

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Sunny when I gotta go out, Rainy when I’m inside/ at night. BC YA GIRL HATES GOING OUT IN THE RAIN. Womans are not tryna look like a wet cat. 

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you? 

Actually yes quite a few, people I knew from school, also I think Selena Gomez? My middle name is kinda basic.

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

None of the above ;) 

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

PART OF ME: I REALLY HOPE SO bc ya girl a hopeless romantic 

OTHER PART OF ME: HONESTLY IDEK BC MANS ARE SO WHACK THESE DAYS, HARD TO FIND A QUALITY QT, and honestly im doing me these days like mans can wait BYE 

20. Does anyone like you?

Jesus! My boy JC. Dont know if anyone else likes me bc like I clearly can’t read minds so?

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Besides family, no one else is ringing a bell

22. Is the last person you kissed gay? 

Nope

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

Currently: My EX, Alicia from AYTO (tv show) (snake ass bitch), 

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yessss many times. Like theres so many ideas I have. I would probs get one like on my side, back, lower waist, or behind my ear? Either something cute or something with meaning.

25. In the past week have you cried? 

Yes I think I had a moment the other day.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw? 

A cockerspaniel. 

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Depends on my mood. I really like showers tho, preferably with my man 

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Not yet ;)

29. Do you think you’re old?

Honestly sometimes I feel old asf

30. Do you like text messaging? 

TBH not really. I prefer having that face to face, talking through text is too much miscommunication. 

31. What type of day are you having? 

A swell day, kinda was in my feels earlier but ya girl got it together. 

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

YASSSS. I’ve wanted one for a while, but now I’m like do I want one that bad? It would be cute af THO

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather?

WARM WARM WARM. No ones tryna freeze their ass off. Ya girls an Island baby 

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Jesus Christ. 

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

RELATIONSHIPS, FUCK FLINGS ARE JUST NOT FOR ME. I am not meant for that fling life 

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Im quite wild tbh when you get to know me

37. What song are you listening to? 

Currently: Straight Up & Down by Bruno Mars 

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it? 

Hellllll YEAH 

39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? 

Yes, I’d say my Moms, Ash, Rach or my sister Tia

40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

OK. WELL…………………………………… dont ask me bout this rn im confused. But I kinda also have feelings for my ex ex man who wasnt really my man but still he is literally like my ideal man and ive been seeing him a few times and im triggered UGH my first uni LOVE FML fuck he has me WEAK ASF

41. When did you last receive a text message? 

A second ago: so 1:55 AM 

42. What is wrong with you right now?

NOT A GAWD DAMN THING BISH. 

no but real talk school out here draining me. ALSO IM V CONFUSED BOUT STUFF. 

43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

YO thats my girl. RIDE OR DIE since 7th grade. I know her like the back of my hand and likewise for me. 

44. Does anyone disgust you? 

HAAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA, you already fucking know the answer. TRASH ASS EX MAN. Also fuck boys just disgust and erk my soul in general. 

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Depends on who’s asking 😏 but hey if I like you, you cute, nice, funny, LOYAL, determined I mean I would probs say yes. ALONG WITH MY OTHER WANTS: smells good, good style, nice hair, kind, TALLLLLL, athletic, 

But hey I mean he don’t have to fit all these categories, im just being extra here 

46. Are you in a good mood right now? 

Currently Yes :D

47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

My mom

48. What color shirt are you wearing? 

Not wearing a shirt oooooooops 😳

49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear? 

YUP. dont wanna repeat bc it was honestly the DOUCHIEST thing I’ve ever heard in my life and it makes me sick to my stomach that this literally came out of a mans PIE HOLE. i cant. 

50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Already gave up on em. LIKE UP OUT OF MY LIFE. blocked and erased that history 

51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? Not really my ex ex man I still kinda like. BC my ex man was not the one that a fell hardest for so nah. IF IT WAS HIM THEN I WOULD. 

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

ummmmm noooo????

53. Do you like rain? 

Only when I’m inside, or about to sleep. That Netflix and cuddles possible chill typa weather ya feel 

54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Nope, unless the liqs turns them into a monster then yes I would care. 

55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them? 

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL😳😳😳 HONEST TO GOD IM EITHER STRAIGHT UP OR SO LOWKEY. Like im TOO GOOD AT THIS. I could be crushin so hard on someone and they would never know bc im too good at hiding it.

56. Do you like to cuddle? 

YES LOOOOOOOOOVE. your girl likes her doses of cuddles. BABS like getting cuddled too ): 

57. Are you shy? 

LOL HONEST YES. IM SO SHY AROUND CUTE BOYS OR LIKE PEOPLE I DONT KNOW. But once I get comfortable with you whoever you are im defs not. YA GIRL WILD AF

58. Do you get along with girls?YASSSSSSSS girl power bitch. LOVE MY GIRLS. Love hyping and empowering up my girls. 

59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

YEA SHE MY BAE :* 

60. What do you carry with you at all times?

STRESS. LOL jks but omg phone, lipgloss (bc you never know if you eva gonna kiss a QT), the normals 

61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

UM. NO!!!! TF! ARE YOU WHACK. NEVER WOULD YOU EVER CATCH ME IN A JUMBIE INFESTED PLACE. NAH NAH

62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

YES. OBVI. I’m that long term typa gyal ;) Im that ride or die typa girl

63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship? 

LOOOOL. Lets not think back to that time, I already ctrl alt and DELETE. BOI BYE 

64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

um YES. stop. putting. me. in. my feelS. But lets just say it wouldn’t just end with a kiss on the forehead ;) 

65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week? 

Well im cute so……….. everyday something cute happens aka ME :)

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

21, and the rest were family SO LOL 

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?   

honestly i can do my own nails, but its nice to treat your self

68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print? 

ZEBRA, your girl is a zebra print stan, my whole room is practically this print 

69. Do you have any stickers on your car? 

i dont own a car, but the car I drive has a “princess on board sticker” which is for my little sister but HEY its suitable for me too so 

70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?

Lil Wayne… not about that country/ tim buck two. But tbh I dont listen to either of em 

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?  

IPHONE 6 GANGGGGGGGGG

72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?    

Maybe like last year? Usually get pizza pizza

73. Do you like diet soda?   

NAH, diet taste kinda weird 

74. What color are the walls in your room?    

Its like an olive green, but I want to re paint, maybe a shade of pink 

75. Are you 16 or older?    

older…. why you tryna holla?

76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?  

I did…. show got mad boring tho. 

77. Do you have a job?   

Not currently, in school tho

78. What are your initials?   

K.M.B BITCHHHHHHHEEEZ

79. Did you ever have braces? 

nope, but the dentist always ask me if i had braces and always say how nice my teeth are :D

80. Are you from the south?  

NAH NAH, IM NORTH JAX FAM

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

um???? I think I promo’ed Ash’s travel VLOG, check that shit out tho!!!!!!!

82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed? 

CRTL.ALT.DELTE. 

NO BISH

83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad? 

I would say my dad bc I grew up with him? but i tell my mom and step mom more personal stuff/ everything so

85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters? 

I think it was suicide squad.

86. Do you smoke?    

Nah, not on those greens fam

87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?  

DEPENDS. On location and look. 

88. Is your phone touch screen?    

YUP

89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

Well my hair is wavy and I usually just leave it natural. I love straightening my hair but takes way too much strength and energy out of me.

90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  LMFAO YES. TO GO TO SLEEPOVER AT ONE OF MY MANS HOUSE IM CRYING @GOD forgive me father 

91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool? 

DEFS POOL OR OCEAN LOL BOUT LAKE OR RIVER BYE 

94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

Doing me. Living life. Doing whatever the hell I want. I am happy and thats all that matters. Not letting mans bring me down, have me stressing, crying myself to sleep, or crying until i have no more tears to cry

95. What were you doing last night at midnight?  

Texting my squad in the GC, talking about waste mans 

96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  

Fireworks in my heart: probably in the summer on my first date with trash 

97. Do you like the camera on your phone?   

YES bc I stay taking cute pics, im obsessed with taking fire pics

99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

NOPE. Always know my limit

100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate? Hate is a v strong word. I think if anyone I really disliked I’ve removed, I may have some fakes from like HS but thats about it.

102. Name your favorite Kesha song:   PROBABLY TICK TOK, YO MY GRADE 7 ASS WOULD WHINE UP TO THIS SONG, MAJOR TRACK 

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?  noPE, but honestly i wish I did bc I wanna go somewhere warm