#i cannot do this u don’t GET IT
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there’s just something so gutting about nagi’s complete and utter trust in isagi. “should we not consult barou?” he asks, and all it takes is a single no from isagi and he drops it. he concedes. like he is placing his own life into the hands of just one guy. a guy who stands on the edge of his throne with his eyes wide but never focusing. in the hands of a puzzling king, who offers not an ounce of certainty but an abundance of confidence. and that is enough
#i cannot do this u don’t GET IT#the ONLY person we see nagi listen to at all before this is reo#and that’s only because reo is the reason he started soccer#but isagi is the reason he LIKES it#that’s a bit chilling - isn’t it?#that he had unadultered security and still found no merit#but he finds all the zeal he could possibly need standing on the rickety pillars of isagi’s vision#insane. just insane#idk maybe i’m stupid. maybe i’ve not watched enough to really catch on#but that’s just so. crazy to me
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hozier starting to sing take me to church and then unfurling a pride flag healed something in me actually
if you listen closely you can hear me yell ‘oh my god’ when he does it
#(don’t listen too closely though I’m a bad singer lol)#I tried to post this Sunday night but it didn’t go through#I had no idea he was going to do it I almost cried#not leverage#hozier#slept at our airbnb for like 4 hours#woke up for an hour until Cumbies would be open so I could get breakfast (5am)#and then drove over 2.5 hours to get back home in time to get prepared for work#I ended up teaching my two hour group and then working till twelve and taking the rest of the day off#I forgot my meds so I slept ten hours until 10 at night 💀#worth it#seeing him was a spiritual experience fr#and this was like SO spontaneous. like I cannot express enough how much I didn’t plan for this#also I literally got my tickets saturday when the show was sunday. thank u stubhub ur a true mvp#I knew my friends were going and were staying overnight and someone in my facebook group was selling tickets last minute and was like 👀👀👀#I’m not gonna go into how she decided to sell to someone else later that day when I had already made plans and made me cry but whatever#it worked out in the end
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”why don’t you ever post about x?” i literally cannot remember it. “but it’s important!” yeah but that doesn’t stop me from being disabled. i really Am trying to spread awareness about important topics when i remember they exist but when i'm waking up confused to where i am what’s going on or if i'm even real my brain is Also going to forget about Other important things
#this isn’t about anything in specific it’s about those if you don’t post about x issue you’re evil posts that have existed for DECADES#that are also saw traps for people with moral ocd#like this isn’t about wilful ignorance it's asking you to Please Acknowledge People With Memory Issues Exist#disabled people are real and if we have disassociation issues and memory loss we genuinely Do forget about important things! A lot!#It’s not malicious I just have many physical and mental illnesses I cannot get rid of and I am on opiates half the time#Memory issues#disability#neurodivergent#spoonie#brain fog#autoimmine disease#<all the stuff that causes this in me but u can talk about whatever
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I haven’t posted art in forever, (I am currently working on art tho!! It’s just taking me a bit cuz.. job..) but! But… what about if instead of the art u guys came here for. I instead posted pictures of the cool lil outfits I’ve been wearing recently that im rlly proud of… what about that???
#part of the issue w art is also for some reason. FOR REAL. the default shit I want to draw is just ME. IN MY VARIOUS CUTE LIL OUTFITS#I’ve become a narcissist… a fashion obsessed narcissist.. i just want everyone to see and admire my cool fits���#I struggle. so much more drawing shit that is not me nowadays. and I have so much less free time#but then I don’t FINISH the pics of me cuz I’m like ‘this is too self indulgent!!! stop!! draw fanart!!#like a normal person!!! ghgh-‘#ur rlly gonna come back from an art hiatus w just a bunch of silly pics of u being cute… get a fucking grip..#uhhh.. but anyway lol#I am still drawing. I’m currently working on some expiremental lineless digital art#cuz I felt shaking stuff up might help#we shall see if I finish it tho!#it me#pepper words#anyway look at my fits#my one. 2 curses r in bad at taking pictures#and I live in a dingy basement so the lighting fucking SUCKS#u cannot see all the detail…. u cannot make out All of my lil accessories#it’s sad…#all these outfits r very black and white i do in fact wear colors… mostly red. n green#but I am rlly In my aristocratic vampire / witch era right now… and I’m loving it…#middle 2 pics r the same outfit. just w and without cloak lol#also pls do me a kindness and ignore my messy ass room#lady outfit is actually my most recent and my room HAS gotten less messy! I cleaned it up!#but it’s still kinda. got some clutter lol#*last outfit. not lady outfit ghghg- these r gender neutral femme leaning outfits I’ll have u kno typo!!#also pls ignore the shit on my mirror!! the lil white speckles and stuff! I rlly gotta fucking clean that.. if I wanna keep taking cute#pictures of my outfits lol… I mean. it’s not MY mirror so I don’t think to clean it.. but it is in my living space…#mayhaps… I should clean it lol
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no bc when you stop and think about the full implications of fitz and the fool calling each other “beloved” you do have to go a little crazy. it’s required. because what do you mean that 6 sentences after fitz thinks, “being fitz had never been that enticing an existence” the fool summons him back to himself by calling him “beloved” and renewing their bond. what do you mean fitz refers to this as “burning my identity into me.” what do you mean “the word echoed through me, rebounded me from my fraying edges, found and bound me.” what do you mean. are you not going insane.
#me#rote spoilers#fitzloved#Fitz and the fool trilogy#fools quest#realm of the elderlings#like I know we all talk about it and we all get it but do we really. do we really Get It.#this chapter begins with Fitz and the Fool having an INSANE conversation about their relationship#where neither of them can see past their own self-loathing/self-recrimination#Fitz is like ‘I’m such a terrible person for abandoning u last night selfishly’#and the fool is like ‘please god all I want is for u to abandon me selfishly bc I’ve ruined your life’#and it’s. it’s. insane bc. they’re calling each other beloved. they’re calling each other beloved but they don’t get it. they don’t realize#that the other MEANS it.#like this chapter is literally: Fitz berates himself. Fitz then gets overwhelmed by the skill. He starts to disperse into the skill-current#bc the dissolution of his person into the void is attractive to the mental state he’s in#AND THEN!! the fool calls him beloved. AND IT PULLS HIM BACK. INTO HIMSELF. INTO HIS IDENTITY.#HIS IDENTITY IS BELOVED. HE IS BELOVED. THATS WHY HES STILL HERE. BECAUSE PEOPLE LOVE HIM. THE FOOL LOVES HIM.#they cannot see it themselves but their love for each other keeps the other going!!!!
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I am literally over the moon rn TYSM @lovebugexe FOR THIS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL COMMISSION. U SHOULD COMMISSION BEA IMMEDIATELY. like im soso happy best day of my life 🥹🫶🏽💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
#IM SO INSANE U DREW HIM SO CUTIE PIEEEE IM SO OBSESSED…..#I wanted to get a treat for myself for the holdiays and this was even better than I could even imagine ….. WAAHAHSSHSHSHGSGS BITES MY FIST#I’m literally so happy …… I don’t even know what to do rn I cannot stop smiling 😭😭😭😭#LITERALLY COMMISSION BEA RN THEIR ART IS SO CUTE ……..#THANK U SOSO MUCH ONCE AGAIN AUGGHHHHGGH FALLS TO THE FLOOR GRIPPING MY HEAD#self ship#self shipping#bipoc self ship#🦍🏄♂️🌊#gifts! 🎁#FAVE#ULT FAVE
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pardon my shaky hands
#death note#l lawliet#trad art#got out the paint pens bc they’re so crisp#that black pen makes my shaky hands very noticeable but whatever#u get the scribbly guy since i cannot smooth my lines via procreate w/o a working pen#i have so many of these paint pens tho i don’t even think i used all of the blue ones#they all are very little tho#they’re the posca .7mm ones but i think i’d use them more if i got the 1.8 or thicker ones#my hands are shaky and my eyes are bad so it’d be easier if i could get bigger pens#i have a couple but they are all neon bc i like bright colors#and since i'm talking paint pens anyway i found an absolute beast of a pen#i literally have to fist it to hold it it's massive. i mean. i do have little hands but it's still massive#the ball in it literally clunks when i shake it rather than the little quiet noises of the other ones#its fucking massive i forgot i had it it is awesome i think i probably got it to color things in fast bc it's a massive wedge tip
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bought pre-cut fruit & am finally able to eat fruit 👍 i love fruit but my adhd HATES having to cut things & i cannot just bite into a fruit bc it creates a sensory issue for me when my face gets sticky i can’t stand it so like i have had to narrow down so much the ways i can eat fruit 😭 but anyway being able to just eat it made me actually eat the fruit i am so happy 😩 next i need to get smth that will cut onions for me so i can cook like 90% of the things i want to cook but can’t make myself bc i don’t want to chop an onion so badly…..
#michelle speaks#unfortunately they don’t pre-cut most of my favorite fruits but that’s ok i still like the fruits they do cut#they don’t have most of the fruits i like in general rn bc i love plums and peaches and pears#pears are in season but they don’t have my favorite pear anymore it seems 😔 red bartlett my beloved 😭#SOMEONE. TOOK my last red bartlett pear that i was going to eat & favor for NO REASON. and i have not been able to have another one since#*SAVOR not favor#it was cruelly stolen from me. AFTER i requested it not be. i was going to say it’s fine but it isn’t.#and it will NOT be fine until i can have another one again. which they do not have them at whole foods rn. so who knows when that will be 😑#took myself over to the whole foods website which states that ALLEGEDLY. they have red pears. which they do NOT!!!!! bc i checked two days#ago and they DONT. not that it matters bc i am too mentally exhausted to cut a fruit which was the whole point of this post#and now i’m just complaining that i can’t get a pear and a previous incident that took place where i was ROBBED.#but ANYWAY!!!!! i bought fruit and ENJOYED it bc i didn’t have to cut it and the moral of the story is that if u have adhd and cannot do#things u should figure out what abt the task bothers u and see if there is a way to get around it or make it easier. supercorp bless u
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> looking for a tenma siblings relationship study
> ask the op if the study is actually about the tenmas or just treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa
> they don’t understand
> pull out an illustrated diagram explaining the difference
> they laugh and say “it’s a good relationship study sir”
> click the post
> it’s treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa
#project sekai#listen I love tsukasa as I love all the wxs members but i also love saki and cannot stand u people#don’t even get me started on when people fridge saki for contrived tsukasa angst. I’ll kill you.#i could also go on a rant abt how saki is so disrespected in general by pjsk fans#& as sm1 with a (less severe) chronic illness I do not appreciate how her illness is only explored in relation to how tsukasa feels abt it#but I think I would get too frustrated#gripping ur shoulders. read the doll story again.#also if ur talking abt tsukasa’s character & don’t mention saki u have automatically failed#before any of his relationships saki is the most important like it’s not subtext it’s literally just text#did we forget the dazzling event where he finally has a breakthrough in his role bc he talked to saki.#or the main story where he’s like yea saki is literally the reason I pursued acting#or the doll event where he’s despondent bc he thinks saki is mad at him & then when honami comes to his school#his first reaction is to sprint over like WHAT HAPPENED 2 SAKI IS SHE OK (sprints home)#or saki canonically being his no.1 fan. smh. u cannot separate them. and why would u want to. they’re so funny.#+ saki saying he made her hospitalizations more bearable. picking up on his mannerisms. crying during the doll festival bc they had a fight.#the dolls being her favorite things bc of how it symbolized their bond.#the complex tenma sibling mental illness web in general makes me crazy.#saki is like I love u but I wish u wouldn’t worry abt me so much and rely on me more & then tries to hide issues to make him not worry#tsukasa is like I’m always worried abt u and I don’t want to burden u because I feel like I need to always be a rock for u#ough. love them.
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Marry me.
#dear lord#I didn’t like him at first#still iffy ur he’s hot#and I am just a girl#I can’t romance zayne he’s my bestie 😭 homeboy fr we are literally like Kenma and kuroo#probs not the best comparison bc I ship kuroken but I cannot romance that man#also Koi said that one mf was a brat but he just walked off in the middle of me talking and Yk what good get ur rude ass outta here#I thought he’d be my fav but now I don’t like him LMFAO#I have a lot of opinions as u can tell lol#also idk what I was doing in that fighting scene but I just started shooting a lot lsnncnd#.*+ amore’s one woman circus
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really actually kind of enjoy how the big lore moments are sort of quiet on a singular stream (or a small group!) instead of the events solely being the lore; i think there would be this hesitation to develop anything solo if the server reinforced this idea that Big Lore could only happen during scheduled events and days. instead the more narrative-progressing moments (take the baghera hybrid experiments revelation or the philza birdnapping for recent example) are very low-key and almost unhyped up— there’s no expectation for that kind of lore necessarily at the time which makes it more rewarding to experience as a viewer. big fan of how they do the events as player bonding time rather than serious narrative progression because it allows all the players (especially the ones who don’t engage in the rp side that much) to participate and get to know each another more; it’s very neat it’s really smart it’s nicely executed
#eleanor.txt#qsmp#tag expansion time get ready for the nuance#do i think that the events could be executed better in terms of like. coding / design. yes on occasion#i’ve seen some frustration that some players don’t take the events seriously enough and that it’s frustrating as a viewer#which i understand and empathize with i think there’s definitely A solution somewhere but i’m not sure exactly what it is tbh#i try not to criticize what i cannot personally solve i think they’re doing their best with what they’ve got#i also do believe that like the Expectation for Big Lore almost always backfires#it’s something u cannot win i think . the expectation will always in some way let you down#(especially re: character involvement seriousness of the stream amount progressed narratively contribution to general plot etc etc#there’s so many variables when you expect ‘lore’ and what that means to people)#i think there’s always some disappointed group when Big Lore starts to be hyped up & teased#whereas i see a lot less general complaints when it’s an unexpected moment (other than people upset they missed it—#arguably unavoidable whether you advertise the stream as lore focused or not)#there’s still Lore during the events things still occur information is still exchanged#but it’s not structured on lore. lore isn’t the foundation for the event it just occurs by implication#anyway. very good job qsmp impressive stuff very enjoyable
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Me telling myself we have to keep going for the 52619386464th time today
#capitalism is fucking exhausting. medical bullshit is exhausting. trying to take care of myself is exhausting. helping ppl is- u get it.#and yet! I cannot stop. I cannot take a break. I cannot breathe. if I do I lose my job and then lose everything else#because if you don’t have money you just fucking die in this world. fucking. god#I’m doing my best I promise just#lads I’m exhausted <333#ahaha#vent#arty issues
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i know i just got here, but seeing all of the laughably bad takes from both sides of the spectrum is convincing me that no, i don’t actually need to be on social media again.
#this is about mdzs fandom discourse#this is a jc/jiggy support blog#but#they did bad things and made bad choices and i love that about them#i can acknowledge their bad choices and their flaws and still like them#but hooooooly fuck#the jc/jiggy/XICHEN antis drive me fucking banana nut bonkers#there are valid reasons to dislike all 3 of those characters and somehow you have created ones that are so far from reality i cannot believe#that we read the same book#or watched the same shows#1. get some reading comprehension i beg you#2. for the love of fucking god please like. find some god damn joy in your lives and stop giving a fuck about characters you don’t like#2.5 and people who like characters you don’t like#2.75 and i know that’s kind of blasse of me to say in the tags of a post griping abt people griping abt characters they don’t like#3. just??? go find joy? touch grass?? not everything is about you and your terrible reading comprehension#4. stop assuming that your way is the right way#5. the puritanical bullshit of protagonist inherently good is really getting old#i am begging you to do any modicum of research into the concept of antiheroes#it will broaden your horizons i prommy#not everything is about blorbos being all good all the time#your blorbo is not free of sin#(unless it’s sizhui. sizhui is always free of sin)#anyway i think imma delete tumblr. the algorithm keeps showing me anti posts and im old and tired#no discourse here pls and thanks#moots dm for discord if u wanna
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the brainrot I have just witnessed in r/musicals of all places
#🥞🧇#the amount of people that will do ANYTHING to defend an a-list celeb who is objectively a terrible person is insane#like there are MANY accounts of this person being awful all you have to do is Google them#and yet their ‘fans’ are some of the most brain dead ppl online I’ve ever seen#‘cheating isn’t that bad it’s not like they killed someone’s family’ HUH??????#I cannot believe I had to read that multiple times 😭😭😭#‘you don’t know them’ ok neither do you???? how hard would it be for u to hold them accountable?? esp when there is evidence??#the hoops of delusion y’all are jumping through … ur doing way more work to dance around this person’s behavioral issues than I am simply#disliking them#like no wonder this person has been able to get away with EVERYTHING if their fans act like this jesus christ
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having to continuously explain to friends that we can’t watch an episode of a show together bc i’m not going to be normal about it is so unbelievably cringe but i rlly. cannot handle it
#personal#delete later#i know it sounds quirky rawr xD i can’t watch it i get too excited :3#but it rlly is like. i enjoy it but its not fun for me bc i react v strongly#and am deeply embarrassed abt it#and i Promise u will be annoyed w me while we watch#i Promise i’m not being silly cute uwu like i genuinely#cannot react to this thing normally#and it will be weird and annoying to you#begging u to get that#and then i wanna say it’s an autism thing but then THAT sounds annoying cringe#but it IS but that doesn’t stop it from sounding ridiculous and like i’m playing it up for attention or something#i cannot physically watch or interact with you about this thing because i will be weird about it#and not in a fun way#i will emotionally shut down i will get upset if you interpret it wrong i will scream or laugh or shout at#at inconsequential shit#i will get excited to the point of doing laps around the room and scream laughing and i promise you i know it’s ridiculous and weird#but i physically cannot help it#and i don’t want to annoy or frustrate you#i cannot stress enough#that it’s not something i Like doing
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things i like about ororon’s design
(semi-short post)
leg
boot
glove
u know he’s kinda giving wriothesley in these aspects..
dangly thingy. very fatui. might be better on the belt tho just saying it’s kinda strange connected to the wrist pls take care to not stab yourself in the eyeball
this thing.
idk i feel some sort of fondness for it
and finally
upside down omega
i was gonna make an omegaverse joke but i’m fresh out of material. you have been spared. you’re welcome
[THE END]
#ororon#is this ororon slander or#i mean i Am saying what i do like#u know i do kinda like his eyes just not with the rest of the design#i think both being pink would be better or a different shade of blue or maybe a different color altogether#the blue one just gets. lost in all that other blue#jesus fuck man is blue#also is he holding an item? or is that apart of his outfit?#my dumbass genuinely cannot tell#holding myself back from pointing out the things i don’t like bc that’s Not what this post is About
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