#i cannot believe what a clown show it is. absolutely incredible

[manny-jacinto]

another day another ‘what even is baseball’ moment. last night, a goose flew right on the field during the Padres vs. Dodgers game. the poor thing was disposed in a....... trashcan 

[babyangelsky]

Color Moments in Two Worlds Episode 8

WHEN I SPECULATED WITH @negrowhat ABOUT WHAT DANGERS THIS SHOW COULD THROW AT US NEXT THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT, SHOW! I GOT A COLOR EXCHANGE AND A WEDDING BUT AT WHAT COST?!

*takes a brief moment to scream*

This week the love triangle was love triangling and boy howdy do I wish that's all we'd gotten thrown at us but I'll get to that soon. Phupha is having dreams about his alternate self and Kram being in love and has been for a while. As he talks to Kram about it and finally learns the truth, he is in blue and my boy is in his warm yellow.

But of course, Tai is also in his usual cool blue. His is more of a grayish blue but it's still blue. Also take note this shirt because we ain't done with it.

Tai takes Kram to their cave and here is where the colors really start coloring. Tai asks Kram to paint a portrait of him since he did the same for Phupha back in his world.

Before we get there, however, we check in with Wayu and Jao. Jao has learned that Tai proposed to Kram and he's very in his feelings about it and well...

@respectthepetty ESTE PAYASO BORRACHO IS OUT HERE MATCHING THE GARBAGE CANS INSTEAD OF WAYU! (For now)

At the cave, Kram tells Tai that the portrait he did of alternate Phupha was a nude and so of course this one has to be a nude as well. And not only that, as this portrait is being worked on, WE GET TO SEE TAI WITH KRAM'S YELLOW ON THAT INCREDIBLE BODY OF HIS!

Also do please enjoy the moment Kram's gaze shifts from artist to lover.

We get another absolutely beautiful intimate love scene that ends with a lovely afterglow color exchange.

But because this show won't let us have a love scene without the looming spectre of danger, Kram then begins coughing up blood and his nose starts bleeding and he passes out.

We learn that Kram somehow contracted a fUCKING VIRUS THAT EATS UP HIS INTERNAL ORGANS AND CANNOT BE FULLY CURED CALLED LUMANA AND I MUST ASK IF THIS WAS NECESSARY. I could sense the forced separation coming with every fiber of my being but this was NOT how I imagined it being set up!

The prognosis is grim and although I'd like to believe you, mystical auntie, I cannot ignore that you're wearing black as you try to reassure Kram.

The straits may be dire (again) but the colors are still coloring. Just as we got to see Tai with Kram's yellow on his body, we get to see Kram with Tai's blue on his body. And not just any blue! He's wearing the same shirt I made a note of earlier.

And that matters a lot, because after Tai goes to run some errands, Phupha rocks up wearing blue to bring Kram some food.

Yes it's blue, yes the shade is very similar, and yes, on the surface they seem to match but it's not that simple. Kram isn't just wearing blue, he's wearing Tai's blue. Tai's shirt. The love triangle may be triangling but it's only in one direction because Kram's choice has already been made.

What Kram wears continues being very significant the next day when Phupha returns to see him. Despite his efforts, Phupha was unable to get it up for his fiancee because he kept thinking about his alternate self kissing all over Kram and he shows up wearing Kram's yellow.

And although it appears that Kram isn't matching Tai, this is how he is framed when he and Phupha are in the art gallery.

Not only is he in Tai's blue, the orange in the painting matches his shirt. Phupha may be framed in Kram's warm yellow but Kram is framed in his warmth and Tai's coolness.

This framing persists throughout this whole scene with Phupha always in the yellow and Kram always in the blue. The only time Phupha is in the blue is when he asks Kram to stay, presenting him with a choice.

But let's get back to my clown son and Wayu. Jao is still drunk and in his feelings and Wayu's just about had it up to here with him when said drunken clown son falls into the river. Please enjoy this action shot.

Wayu jumps in to save him because he is a good man and brings Jao home, and it is at this point that nature begins to heal because they start matching again! The lil yellow bananas on Jao's panties match Wayu's yellow towel!

Jao is being a prickly little cactus and after Wayu asks just why the hell he has such a huge torch burning for Tai, Jao tells him about how he and Tai met. Five years ago Tai saved him a guy that was about to stab him and Jao fell in love with him immediately.

And that's all well and good, but you know who's saved you most recently, Jao? WAYU! Make like Elsa, let it Tai go, and MAKE. OUT. WITH. WAYU!

If you need ANOTHER reason to do so, how about the fact that as Wayu leaves he puts on his blue shirt which matches the blue in the plaid you were wearing when he gave your drunk ass CPR!?

At this rate, they'll be making out in the last ten minutes of the finale. -_-

Thank god these two are here to save me with ANOTHER COLOR EXCHANGE! WITH LIGHT AND WITH CLOTHING! Just look at Tai standing in the warm light in Kram's yellow while he faces Kram wearing his blue backed by all that cool blue light!

Kram tells Tai all about his conversation with Phupha and that Phupha asked him to stay. Tai looks uncertain for a moment but the colors already told us what Kram's choice is.

Kram gives Tai the completed portrait and there in the corner is his answer to Tai's proposal. His choice is Tai and only Tai.

They get to have their ash exchange ceremony, Kram's mom gets to see him get married, Wayu and Jao are still matching, everything is lovely.

They look beautiful.

Absolutely nothing goes wrong whatsoever. 🙂

Everything is fine. 🙂🙂

Not a single hitch or hiccup to be found anywhere. 🙂🙂🙂

*rocks back and forth in the corner* Color coded boys in love get happy endings color coded boys in love get happy endings color coded boys in love get happy endings color coded boys in love...

[linkspooky]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, what are your top 10 favorite (fiction) books? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before...

Hello, I don’t mind answering. Here’s my top ten books. Please don’t expect me to have good taste. A friendly reminder that I am a clown, and I have a clown’s taste in literature. 

#10 A Game of Thrones

Not the whole series, but the first book specifically is one of what I consider the best fantasy books of all time. I know this is an incredibly mainstream thing to say, but sometimes things that are popular, are popular for a reason. The Cersei sections of Feast of Crows are my favorite in the whole series, but as for the book in its entirety I believe the original book is almost a perfect example of a first book in a series which sets up greater characters and plot threads while at the same time writing a perfect three act tragedy in Ned Stark’s arc throughout the entire book. 

Genre fiction is my bread and butter, and I appreciate authors who are able to elevate Genre Fiction into serious art just by taking common characters and tropes of the genre seriously, and using those as tools to build upon the themes. Everyone knows the plotting and the world and politics and backstories are so impressively detailed that George RR Martin’s writing ability, and thoughtfulness towards his own work always shows in its dirty and gritty details. But ebyond that I’m reminded of a quote by Ursula K Le Guinn about genre fiction.

“For example: A writer sets out to write science fiction, but isn’t familiar with the genre, hasn’t read what’s been written. THis is a fairly common situation, because science fiction is knwon to sell weel, but as a subliterary genre, is not supposed to be worth study - what’s to learn? It doesn’t occur to the novice that a genre is a genre because it has a field and focus of it’s own; it’s own appropriate and particular tools, rules, and techniques for handling the material; its traditions; and its experienced, appreciative readers - that it is, in fact, a literature. Ignoring all of this, our novice is just about to reinvent the wheel...” 

What I love about Game of Thrones is that it is a fairy tale story, that knows it is a fairy tale and instead of looking down on fairy tales, it critically examines them while at the same time adding humanity to all of its characters. The grittier elements of the story come not from George RR Martin thinking fantasy stories are stupid, but because he wants to write a legitimate challenge in his story for characters to ovecome, and a world where things are harder than they seem in stories, and yet it’s still worth the struggle to live life outside a story. You know. You know those themes? It’s one of those. 

#9 The Idiot by Dotsoevsky

It’s hard to pick a favorite out of Dostoevsky’s five great novels, but i inthk his most tragic entry is the one that’s also the most tightly written and clear in its themes. 

Prince Myshkin is one of Dostoevsky’s purest heartest characters, a character Dostoevsky wrote he wanted to create with an “entirely postivie... with an absolutely beautiful nature”, and yet despite being so loving and unselfish towards others he’s a rare example of a character who’s good points are matched evenly with his flaws. A fundamentally good person who is as complex as some of Dotsoevsky’s bad boys, like Raskolnivkov. Myshkin is so selfless a person he’s almost an ideal, but the point of the novel itself is that ideals cannot exist in reality. 

According to Joseph Frank, the character of prince Myshkin approaches “ the extremest incarnation of the Christian ideal of love that humanity can reach in its present form, but he is torn apart by the conflict between the contradictory imperatives of his apocalyptic aspirations and his earthly limitations.” 

Prince Myshkin is someone who similiarly can only see the world in ideals, which is what makes his romance with Nastaasya Filippovna so troubled, because she is a troubled person who exists in an area of grey that Myshkin cannot see. Myshkin can truly and unselfishly love her, and yet he cannot comprehend er at the same time which makes their romance one where desipte all good intentions neither of them are ever on the same page. 

Anyway, the best love stories are ones where thy don’t end up together. It’s the story of how they met, they didn’t fall in love, and didn’t end up happy together, and yet the goodness Myshkin saw in Nastasya who is Dostoevsky’s most complicated, and most flawed woman, was there all the same. 

#8 Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte

Here’s the cliche answer for which work by a Bronte sister is your favorite. However, my hot take is one everyone in the world will disagree with  me over. Wuthering Heights is still a love story, even if it’s a story that is primarily about Katherine and Heathcliff’s selfish, destructive love. The Bronte Sisters weren’t out to debunk Regency Era romantic stories like the kind Jane Austen wrote. They aren’t anti-romantics. Wuthering Heights is still very much a story full of romanticism, it’s just like George RR Martin, looking at that genre with a more serious lens. 

In my essay I will go on to prove that Wuthering Heights is a romantic story.... It’s about big emotions and the consequneces about big emotions. Much is made about how destructive Katherine and Heathcliff’s love for one another is, and how selfish, but when reading it you have to pay attention to the circumstances surrounding it. Heathcliff is the victim of abuse and discrimmination, because he is poor, disadvantaged, and dark skinned. His childhood love is also with the only person who sort of treats him like a human being, and in that same light Katherine falls in love with the only person who knows her as she is in a complicated light rather than seeing her as a woman of manners and fine breeding. It’s only after everything goes wrong that the love itself becomes destructive towards both members. 

Wuthering Heights isn’t really saying that the brooding Byronic prtagonist is a bad person, but rather illustrating the cirucmstances that would create such a person. One interpretation I like about the story is that Heathcliff and Katherine are just as selfish in their actions towards each other, it’s just Heathcliff’s are more destructive because that’s the power he has as the head of the household. 

It’s a tragedy of two people coming together, and then coming apart by love, but to argue that love doesn’t exist is to like, say that the two leads of Romeo and Juliet weren’t in love, they were just horny teenagers. The story becomes leser if you ignore the romanticism of the story. If like, the descriptions of roaring green fields, and the weather reflecting the emotions of the characters, and the fainting spells and bouts of hiysteria are not enough to indicate it as a romantic work of fiction. Also, at the end of the story, the damage to two generations of the family that is done by abusive love, is slowly becoming undone by the union of two children who heavily parallel Katherine and Heathcliff  and represent what they could have been under different ircumstances. It’s just such a good story at depicting the extremes that people are capable of while its characters are still human. You could compare Heathcliff to Frankenstein’s monster, except he’s not a monster at all, he’s just a dude, ableit a heavily abused one who goes on to repeat his abuse in a heavily realstic way. 

#7 The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath

I put this on the list just to be pretentious. There’s a lo of similar books of this genre I’ve read and enjoyed, but this is for me pretty much the only book that’s ever depicted  a mental breakdown accruately. The whole first half of the book really is just about a normal person unfamiliar and uncomfortable with her brief stay in New York City, and when she gets home and falls apart that is when the book becomes brilliant. 

A lot of mental illness in fiction is like, heavy hallucination, crazy behavior. Sylvia Plath writes a character just slowly falling apart, not being able to keep up with her normal life in the way she did before. One of the most striking passages to me was when she mentions that all she seemed to do all day was do nothing, and yet she couldn’t sleep either, and she went day, after day, after day without sleeping. When the main character attempts to slit her wrists too, it’s not a big dramatic deal, but something the character mentions almost offhandedly, and she does it because she is so tired of not sleeping. 

It’s just a small and quiet portrayal of suffering that’s just as striking and poetic, because it draws humanity out of the mundanity of this character’s breakdown. She just stops being able to do what she could always do before, and she doesn’t know why, or what’s the cause of this slow decline, and she feels trapped in her head and observing as it’s happening to her. It’s a book I’ve reread several times, at the minimalist language it uses, that is equally effetive as striking and overdramatic prose. It just gets the suffering of the character across, in small ways, it’s so soaked with a quiet misery. 

#6 Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy 

This is my favorite love story, ever. I actually think war and peace is stronger in its themes, and has more liabkly characters in its cast, but Anna Karenina is the story of one woman’s misery and her desire for escape from her life. There is so much humanity to Anna in this story, that’s not given to other woman in the time period. While theplot of War and Peace is about the comparison of the smalll lives of the Russians in contrast to the Big Stakes of the war happening around them, Anna Karenina is written about one women’s  misery and her trying to find happiness in love and it is treated with all the same importance and grand consequences. 

The opening quote of the book has stayed with me forever. 

All happy families are alike, but every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way

Tolstoy writes about one small person living their life like it’s the most important thing in the world. That there are no great people like Napoleon, just people living their little lives. Anna’s desire for happiness is so strong she leaves her husband, and has an affair with him. Something a man would be allowed to do at the time, and is even easily forgiven for in the start of the book, but Anna is reviled for within her own society. 

It’s important to marriage Anna has a husband that for the time period she should have been satsifed with, he worked and paid for the house, he was a responsible man who didn’t cheat on her, he just didn’t love her. Yet not only is Anna not allowed to leave in the eyes of society, she should also be thankful for it. Anna then is swept away by a man who promises her the kind of love she’s searching for, and even if he does not love her, he is at least exciting. It sounds like every other romance story ever written which is why you really have to just read it, to understand the humanity that is on display in Anna’s character. 

#5 DRACULA 

Did somebody say female characters? One of my favorite things to watch on tumblr was to see Dracula become super popular as soon as someone came up with the idea of emailing people the story, letter by letter. Dracula isa story where the most interesting haracters are the human characters struggling against the monster, and that’s brought out by the epistolatory novel storytelling format. Jonathan’s diary, Mina and Lucy’s letters all go to such great lengths to flesh them out.

Mina and Lucy especially are too well developed female characters. The slow decline of Lucy’s health, and the great efforts everyone around her goes to save her, only to have her die at the end is one of the most harrowing things I’ve ever read in fictions. It’s more horrifying than most modern day horror, and this sequence of events happens when Dracula is mostly offscreen and only appears in what to Lucy are just drreams.

Stephen King once said, and I’m paraphrasing, that what makes horror fiction scary is when the audience is invested in the fate of the characters. Dracula is so lasting and impactful because the main cast is as developed as the monster themselves, even though they are ntohing more than pathetic and scrawny human beings. It’s the rare monster story where you actually want to see the good guys slaughter the monster. 

#4 Frankenstein

Frankenstein, or as I call it, can you tell this was written by a woman? 

Frankenstein is just about so many things. It references stories like Paradise Lost in its themes about the potential of good and evil of humanity. r. It’s about the human adventuring spirit and the desire to do something great, and also when that same desire to be something greater than human can make people forget their basic humanity. It’s about misogyny. It’s about masculine entitlement. 

It’s about childbirth It’s about motherhood. It’s about the cycle of abuse. Frankenstein and his  Monster are such perfect foils for one another, to the point where the Monster is almost a living Jungian shadow who like Peter Pan’s shadow has escaped from him and is running around on his own. The more that Frankenstein denies the monster and dehumanizes him, the more monstrous he becomes.

One of my favaorite passages in all of fiction and one I think about when writing characters to this day, is when the monster points out that he has done bad things and deserves to be punished, but what about the family who beat him and chased him away for looking ugly when he spent months on end gathering firewood and he only wanted to introduce himself. What of the man who shot him, when he tried to save his son driving for a river. Why aren’t they deserving of punishment? If he is guilty, then why are all the people who pushed him into this and were violent towards him without cause innocent? 

#3 Zaregoto Vol. 2: The Kubishime Romanticist. 

This is where I get rocks thrown at me for putting a light novel on here and above all of these classics. The story behind Zaregoto volume two is fascinating . While the first was months of work went into it’s creation, Nisioisin felt something was missing when he had finished it. For the sequel, he sat down, and wrote it in two days. 

Zaregoto is one of my favorite novels of all time, but it does require reading the first to show how it contrasts the second. Basically, what I always say is that if you read the first volume you don’t really understand why everyone is so offput by the main character, or why everyone is constantly hinting that he’s a terrible person. However, by the second novel you understand exactly the kind of person IIchan is. 

While the first volume of the series is a tribute to mystery stories that for the most part, centers around solving the mystery, the second the mystery solving is almost incidental to establishing just what kind of person the first person narrator is. It’s a very vivid image that Nisioiisin paints in detail, and it’s not exactly a flattering portrait.

II-chan is a terrible person. This is the novel about how II-chan is a terrible person. However, Iic-han is one of my favorite characters ever, and this novel is one of my favorite novels just because the prose is so, almost trippy, psychadelic? It’s very stremam of thought narration. It’s poetic. And that’s all in servic to show what the kind of person II-chan is. He’s an unreliable narrator, because he’s such a good storyteller he’s twisting details to make himself look like the victim of the story, and yet if you pay attention and read behind the lines he’s just not a victim nor a particularly good or innocent person. Unreliable narrators are some of the best tropes in fiction to show how not only can stories not be trusted, but people cannot be trusted as well, because they both have a tendency to tell lies.

# 2 +#1 No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai, and This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald 

These two are essentially tied for my favorite, because they are very similiar despite being written by authors from two different cultures. They are both semi-autobiographical novel length works that are essentially coming of age stories where the main character refuses to come of age or grow up in any specific way. They are love stories, where the main character doesn’t fall in love. They fact that they are semi-autobiographical novels which follow these characters from childhood to adulthood and paint not so flattering pictures of the main characters is part of what makes them raw and effective. 

I won’t speak about Osamu Dazai but if you know anything about F. SCott FItzgerald, well let’s just say there are a lot of scandals about his treatment of his wife, his writing. There’s a lot of honesty though in his works that makes me not want to completely dismiss his talent as an author. This Side of Paradise and Osamu Dazai are just so honest in their portrayal of the main characters warts and all, that they are still readable despite having what are selfish and unsyampthetic main characters. 

Osamu Dazai once wrote he tried to write novels for miserable people, and yep, that’s pretty much it. No Longer Human at times reads like a suicide note left by the author himself, and that’s even explciitly the framing of the novel, a journal that was left behind after everybody stopped hearing from the main character. They portray the struggles of the characters by giving them such rich internal worlds. 

This Side of Paradise is different in that it at least has a slightly more optimistic ending. Both stories feature characters who are born into relative wealth in privilege, trying to go to school, trying to fall in love, trying to find work and live in the world and failing at all of those things. At the end of hist journey though, Armory ends with this quote. 

“I know myself," he cried, "but that is all.

Armory at least from all of his struggles, gains an understanding of himself by the end of the story. Which is why I think, stories like this need to be told. EAs Dazai said, some stories need to be written for miserable people, because misery is just as much of the human experience as happiness is. There’s still something to be gained from these stories, because loss and failure is something you can learn from. Which is why F. Scott Fitzgerald writes some of the most beautiful prose for the time period, because those people were born, dreamed to be someone important, wanted to be loved, just like everyone else and their stories are just as beautiful despite ending in loss and failure. 

[variousqueerthings]

I am firmly in the latter half of season 11, so in short how do I feel about the first half-and-a-bit?

11x1 hey, look me over: A neat little opening episode, and!!! most important thing!!! it’s the single kellye-centric episode of the show!!! my biggest appreciation is for the fact that she doesn’t go out with Hawkeye at the end, and it did a little fun thing I’d been wanting for a hot sec, which was Margaret and Hawkeye going on a friend date together

(also Hawkeye, your suit is terrible, I’m sorry not sorry, Kellye was right to get hers with the sexy guy who immediately thought she was hot and hilarious)

11x2 trick or treatment: Hawkeye is superman! BJ is a clown (correct)! Potter as a cowboy (naturally)! I said this before, but Charles didn’t tell a ghost story, because his ghost story is about his dead brother... 

I cannot believe that this episode is in s11, we wait this long for Halloween! (and I will absolutely watch it next Halloween too!)

11x3 foreign affairs: I’ve had conversations about this, but I think this story is much stronger if Charles is read as aroace, rather than the sort of flimsy “my family wouldn’t approve” thing that happens at the end, but with that in mind I really like the way that Charles’ love-interest stories always seem to be about him finding someone who’ll just enjoy talking with him about art and fine food!

and here is where I note that the season continues the thread of “Hawkeye flirts with women and nothing comes of it,” and all the ways I choose to read that too. (Sidenote that he did notice there was something up with her and was quite gentlemanly about it all)

also: Soon-Tek Oh returns!!???? I believe that is him playing the enthusiastic translator right??

11x4 the joker is wild: I went off about this episode separately and I’ll never recover, what in the holy heck!

11x5 who knew: I have a lot of emotions about the ways in which I read aromantic Hawkeye in this episode -- the ways he feels guilt for somehow not having enough feeling for someone (romantically), and layers that into self-imposed guilt over her death and the way this plays into what actually is a declaration of love for his friends/the family he’s made at the 4077th

I contrast it as well to episode 1 and 3 of this season, when he comes at sex in a sort of, “I’ll give it a go,” kind of attitude that is at once quite shallow (the “I can pretend to be sincere” line) and also shrugged off once it doesn’t work, and with Kellye related to once more guilt, this time about not “seeing” her (and contrasts that with him going dancing with Margaret, I wish we’d seen it) (also yes Kellye is fucking great!) 

the feeling he has for his family though is so so strong. I also put this one down as containing hauntedness... moreso now I think even than when it aired, but also just within the fabric of it on its own. the speech is a eulogy after all, as well as a declaration of love

11x6 bombshells: this is one of those that’s really giving you whiplash, especially at the end -- the thing is Hawkeye hasn’t actually been doing a lot of shenanigans in these last seasons. He’s been shenanigansed at (BJ....) and he’s occasionally supported a shenanigan, but he hasn’t done a lot of “this came out of my brain and now I’m going to fucking run with it!” and I was happy to see it happen

and then the BJ storyline, which was overall very sympathetic to him, suddenly clashes right into Hawkeye when he starts ranting about how they’re both so self-righteous and petty about soldiers’ lives and dammit BJ! Stop! Projecting! Your Issues! Onto Hawkeye! (I have a whole growing post about the times BJ projects onto Hawkeye and how it plays into their dynamic)

11x7 settling debts: speaking of shenanigans... this also gave me a bit of a Hawkeye I love to see, the one who is acknowledged as incredibly thoughtful and pretty great at planning and leading -- using his lateral-thinking brain for good, in a very sweet way

this was a very good final season episode, setting up Potter’s post-series life and bringing in Mildred in a great way!

11x8 the moon is not blue: watch me screaming as I hit the halfway mark of the season! thank goodness it was light-hearted! Also again, speaking of benevolently shenanigansing Hawkeye, him convincing Klinger and that other guy that the placebos totally work is so very him 

Hawkeye is the benevolent fairy of the MASH 4077th, we know this (we use fairy deliberately)

11x9 run for the money: the way this has the main story, which takes up a lot of time and is pretty light overall, and then you’ve got a handful of minutes of some of the most emotional storytelling on the show

and I gather every time we get information about the people back home like its precious and rare (which it is) and there’s Honoria’s voice! the way a voice can make someone so real!

overall my brain is so fixated on the feeling of this as the last season, I’m not really so capable of thinking of the episodes individually -- I feel so keenly how they’re the last bits of story we’re getting for the characters and how that’s definitely right, but I also know all the things I won’t get to see that I wish I could go back in time and suggest as episodes, or simply just wanting to see more, and also this idea of watching so many years after it aired, and popping out of the bubble that it’s entirely new (which it has been in a lot of ways for me)

I do hope -- but I’ll take what I get -- for another Margaret-centric episode, and something emotionally centred on Klinger. Obviously love that he would have struck gold with the invention of the hoolahoop and the frisbee, but I also would love to see another acknowledgement of the way he’s the heart of the outfit

[koreandragon]

what do you think about the new one dollar lawyer ep plotwise? considering how much there's left to deal with do u think they'll set it up for a s2? it would make sense since they probably wanna milk the success. i feel like it wasn't really necessary to have jihun leaving for an entire year to reflect and everyone grieving it just for him to come back and everything's fine again lol. i'm scared the ending will be rushed. the fact that ep 9 was sorta filler and the whole series being cut short doesn't help :/ two things i will never get with this show is why the flashback had to be that long and then then deciding for less episodes right after that

but then again this ep did give us so many good mari/jihun moments like omg the way she hit him with the flowers like a lover who got ghosted skwidjs i also missed them getting into each other's personal space so much 😭 AND THE HUG??? i cannot believe that their chemistry is so good that this show has all of us wearing full clown attire every week even after his literal dead ex-fiancee who he's barely over got introduced 🙉

i really loved this episode actually. and if you guys know me you know i'm generally very against kdramas getting a second season because most of the time it's unnecessary but i think this show would benefit from a season 2. it has a format that is suitable for more seasons, kind of like a sitcom? i wouldn't be surprised if they went for that considering the little stove league jab in one of the episodes lol

tell you what, people usually hate time jumps, i eat them up. why? because i love reuinion scenes. love being like "ohh how are they going to meet again, what's the other person gonna say when they see them" that stuff is very fun to me. i just think it was funny how he was like "i'll be back soon" then they didn't see him again for a year lmao?? i also like that it gives the characters time to think about what the other person means to them, how their abscence or them leaving them behind makes them feel like how mari was incredibly hurt over it. and you see i don't think she forgave him that easily, she gave him a run for his money first.

they said they wanted to preserve the quality by cutting the episodes so i hope they're gonna do that and it won't be rushed.... i am pretty annoyed now that the flashback was so long like i've never seen a whole flashback last EPISODES. especially if you're gonna cut the show short.

it wasn't just me who noticed the the crackling electricity this episode like the pent up tension from him leaving and mari being mad at him but also being worried about him and wanting to forgive him was just *chef's kiss*. so much personal space invasion and casual touching and just...idk...longing?? call me insane like call me absolutely off my rockers but i'm still gonna be sitting in the front row of this circus. especially when they parallel mari with juyeong or juyeong in a flashback says something that can be applied to mari and his relationship like i just wanna!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyways i'm normal. let's see how they wrap this up.

[bad-draft-stuff]

Det. au 19

Arsé-kun: *Arséne isn't even at his desk. He said the time he was going to go over notes, and he didn't even bother to show up to his own office. He just left a single sheet of paper there and left. Classy!*

Sheepy: Nyar: Wonder what this is...a love letter, I bet! Sheepy: *Nyar reads it* Arsé-kun: *It's a few notes from the last few days, and I do mean a FEW. It's barely even a paragraph of notes, compared to his usual. Ahem. "Notes! -Some kid found a sword. I am personally keeping out of this one, I have enough work to do. Someone else can deal with Griflet and his friends until I am actually done with my cases. Good luck!! PS: The gem Sherlock may or may not have currently was Not Stolen and is legal. Shocking but true. Good luck x2* Sheepy: Nyar: Huh. Sheepy: Nyar: That's boring. Sheepy: *Grif smashes the door open* Arsé-kun: Germain: I believe it's considered polite to knock before opening the door, but your efforts are noticed. May we help you? :) Sheepy: Grif: I will knock it down next time. Arsé-kun: Germain: Please do not. It costs money to repair. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Germain: It only means lightly making a sound against the door, so occupants know to let you in. It's polite. Arsé-kun: Germain: Either way, too late for that now. What brings you here, Sir? Sheepy: Grif: If I critical, you will have no door. Sheepy: Grif: My cousin has a bad memory. Arsé-kun: Germain: *he just looks at Nyar* He always like this? Sheepy: Nyar: He beats me up for fun and isn't easy to understand. Arsé-kun: Germain: I see. Sheepy: Nyar: What eldritch abomination is your cousin today? Sheepy: Grif: He's a human. Sheepy: Nyar: Disgusting. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* no you Sheepy: Nyar: Yog, can you be clearer than him? Arsé-kun: Yog: What's this? You're being semi-decent about this? Who enabled relationship hacks? *he's kidding* Sheepy: Nyar: If I wasn't he'd turn me into a balloon animal and give me to a child like the clown he is. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have no argument. I can't deny this at all. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll summarize what I CAN give you. Sheepy: Nyar: Great, go on. Arsé-kun: Yog: His cousin's problem is completely unnatural. Whether this is due to his beyond normal age or an outside factor I cannot say. It has no consistency, seems to have no trigger, and has been studied by skilled mages for years with nothing to show for it. It has, however, gotten worse, forcing the mage in charge of this to reach out for help. Mages tend to be incredibly stubborn- You know this. Sheepy: Nyar: So I'm supposed to fix it? Sheepy: Nyar: What do I get out of it? Arsé-kun: Yog: Not my place to say. You tell me how this will go. Sheepy: Grif: I will snap you in two like the twig you are. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... And that. Sheepy: Nyar: Scary... Sheepy: Nyar: So I can choose my reward? I can, can't I? Sheepy: Nyar: Because maybe I just don't feel like it. Arsé-kun: *background merlin complaints @grif for threatening everyone already* Sheepy: Nyar: Hmmm... Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, I know. You'll have a tough time finding this, so listen close. Sheepy: Grif: I am listening very close. Sheepy: *Grif inches closer to Nyar.* Sheepy: Grif: Closer, closer. Arsé-kun: Germain: Are you going to do what I think you're doing, Nyar? Sheepy: Nyar: Maybe I am! Sheepy: Nyar: Now listen to me young man. I am talking directly into your ear now. I need you to do me a favor. You will do this for me. I need you to go to Gamestop, and I need you to ask the man working the counter if they have Bambi on the PS2. If you come back empty handed, you'll be in big trouble, Griflet. You will never see the light of day. Arsé-kun: *Merlin absolutely loses his shit. Catastrophic composure failure. Thank you, master-class mage.* Sheepy: Grif: [Quest added: Oh Deer! Try not to Forget!] Arsé-kun: *Yog appends a ;) at the end* Sheepy: Grif: Bambi....... Sheepy: Grif: Baaaaaa~ Arsé-kun: Tom: Baaaaaaaa Sheepy: Nyar: Wrong animal! Sheepy: Grif: Beeeehhhh. Sheepy: Grif: I will go. Sheepy: *Grif walks out* Sheepy: Nyar:...Oh shoot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you're about to get Bambi on the ps2! How do you feel? Sheepy: Nyar: Afraid. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ain't that a shame. Sheepy: Nyar: So, it's the wimp next to you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I don't have the time to argue about this sort of thing. Sure, it's the man with me. Sheepy: Bedi: Actually, that's not my name...is Deewimp a nickname based on Bedwyr? Sheepy: Nyar:......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... No, dear. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, cheer up. Fine, gimme a sec. Sheepy: *Nyar heads over to Bedi and puts his hand on Bedi's forehead* Sheepy: *Nyar seems deep in thought...* Sheepy: *...before looking to Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *this is concerning* Sheepy: Nyar: Is this a prank? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: His memory's perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That can't be right, but if you're the expert... Sheepy: Nyar: His brain's fine. Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, have you been trying to fix it this whole time not even knowing the issue? Sheepy: Nyar: You just take a hammer ti everything that vaguely looks like a nail? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I prefer a screwdriver myself, but do you think I haven't been trying? Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, not natural memory loss. Arsé-kun: *Merlin squints real hard* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd have caught it by now if it was. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, well, that's a you a problem. Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, meaning that I can't fix it. Sheepy: Nyar: Not my area of expertise. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks more annoyed than he initially did* Sheepy: Nyar: I'd just put one curse in to combat the other and break everything, so I shouldn't be the one to fix it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Well, you did help still. What kind of reward were you promised? Sheepy: Nyar: I want a bagel. Sheepy: Nyar: But what, did you not know? Then who'd he get it from if not you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I really didn't, no. Why would I need help if I knew?? *but he seems puzzled* Sheepy: Nyar: Any ideas? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Yeah, I might. Watery tart. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, that's your next destination! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hell no! That's how I die! Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: Then how're you going to fix it, huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Vivian has always been nice to me, so I can't understand why she would curse me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: To get at me, I bet...! Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose curses do not come with watermarks. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe. We won't know unless we ask her. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can if you're careless, but that's not here nor there. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. You see the shit the other two are in? I like where I am, thanks! Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, your friends were cursed but you weren't? Sheepy: Nyar: Or is yours just minor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm fairly sure I was. We can't really detect them, but they're all obvious. One of us is restrained to a location, one of us has a bad time whenever we see hot people, one of us starves real easy. Not giving which is which! Sheepy: Nyar: You're the third one 'cause you're here and not dying from my presence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd be a matter of opinion, wouldn't it? Sheepy: Nyar: So the guy with you isn't hot? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... No, that's Bedi. Sheepy: Nyar: Ouch. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, it's okay, Grif's Cousin, I'm sure you'll find someone who finds you attractive one day. Sheepy: Bedi: ? Why would I care about people finding me attractive...? As long as the King considers me his knight, my appearance isn't too important... Sheepy: Nyar: So this King is more important to you than anything, huh? Why not date him? Sheepy: Bedi:...? I'm married. And besides... Even if I were not, a lowly knight like myself could never receive such love from his King. I would never be good enough for him, nor to deserve even a smile from my King. Sheepy: Nyar:.....Sheesh, you've got a low self esteem. Sheepy: Nyar: I thought you'd be fun to tease, but you actually already think you're an insignificant wimp... Sheepy: Nyar: But hey! At least your hubby's the kind of guy to date anyone. He isn't picky! Right, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't "date" anyone else. Good try. Sheepy: Nyar: I wasn't calling you dishonest, I was saying you had no standards. Which makes you two perfect for each other! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're just mad because you're below them, aren't you? Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? I've got a boyfriend. Why would I want to date you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you understand loyalty even when you have another hundred faces to use? What a riot. Sheepy: Nyar:? What would cheating do for me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: More chances to fuck with people? I don't know what you do for a day job. Sheepy: Bedi: But Merlin makes me happier than anyone... Are standards truly so important? He already fulfills mine... Sheepy: Nyar: I do many things! Arsé-kun: *Merlin appreciates you, Bedi! <3* Sheepy: Bedi: My King makes me feel fulfilled and proud. Merlin makes me feel safe and at home wherever I go, so long as we are together. My love for them is very different. Sheepy: Nyar: You're really no fun at all!!! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please do not terrorize guests in my office. *where the FUCK was this guy?* Sheepy: Nyar: Aw, shaddup, they were here for me, not you, so I can terrorize them wherever I want! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you for your assistance the other day with my King, Lupin. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Quite welcome. I might be able to help you in the future for whatever, but not now. Sheepy: Bedi: I appreciate your offer. For now, we are fine. Sheepy: Bedi: I may be of assistance as well, depending on your problem. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Good to hear, because I have several cases open at once and I'm not having fun. I don't think I'm legally allowed to take on assistants for most of them, but I appreciate it. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if there's anything legal I can do for you... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Then I'll let you know. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Nyar gets his bagel, meanwhile. reward get. 2x bagel* Sheepy: Nyar: Thanks! Arsé-kun: *Impey fingerguns and goes back to his territory. the kitchen* Sheepy: Nyar: What a good pal! Arsé-kun: *meanwhile!* Sheepy: Grif: —We’re meeting your mom? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. I was asked, and this is something I can still do. Sheepy: Grif: You should meet my dad one day. He’s green. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Which one? Sheepy: Grif: Dragon. You killed two of his children but he doesn’t hold grudges. It’s fine. Arsé-kun: Lance: O-oh. Sheepy: Grif: He should be waking soon. Unfortunately, eating livestock and burning down villages is no longer considered socially acceptable so he’ll probably just go to a restaurant. Arsé-kun: Lance: We may have to inform him before he tries. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. We can visit him later. He likes you. Sheepy: Grif: But he isn't awake yet... Arsé-kun: Lance: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: Is your mom nice? Sheepy: Grif: I know Merlin fears her. Arsé-kun: Lance: I thought it was only Myrrdin. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Then why doesn't he talk to her instead of asking you? Arsé-kun: Lance: .. That is a good point. Sheepy: Grif: But she's nice, right? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan will like her too. Arsé-kun: Lance: I hope she does too. Sheepy: Grif: Are we close? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Great. I will do my best. Arsé-kun: Lance: Please don't call my mother anything weird. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... Sheepy: Grif:...But if Itry not to, I'll get flustered and will... Arsé-kun: Lance: Then just don't use a name. I guess. Sheepy: Grif: If she's really cool, though...like you...Uh... Sheepy: Grif: *he's visibly flustered* It was hard enough to work up the courage to talk to you...If your mom's cooler.. Sheepy: Grif: I might cry... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: Very kind of you to offer to absorb my tears, Elyan. Arsé-kun: *Lance leads Grif into a clearing. There is a lake- A much larger, cleaner lake than the last one he saw. It's very colorful here, with a little bit of that morning mist. Something is a little off, but it's fae territory, so it will be like that.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah...it's pretty. Sheepy: Grif: Very nice... Arsé-kun: Lance: It is. Arsé-kun: Lance: I just hope Mom is actually here. Sheepy: Grif: Does she leave her lake? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yeah, sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Like Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: What do we do if she isn't here? Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't know. Wait around? Take a nap? Sheepy: Grif: I like naps. Sheepy: Grif: Especially in nice places. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe she doesn't know we're here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, maybe.. Sheepy: Grif: We can call for her. Sheepy: Grif: *he clears his throat* Helloooo? Arsé-kun: *Several woodland animals look up. They then go back to their own business.* Sheepy: *Elyan holds his head up to the sky, craning his neck. He outstretches his wings, opens his mouth...and...* Sheepy: Elyan: HEWWO??? Arsé-kun: *The water bubbles, and a very pretty woman rises out of the lake. It's an almost ethereal experience until she throws a wrench at Elyan for his crimes on her territory* Sheepy: *Elyan responds to being hit by a wrench by doing what peacocks do best: screaming. Loudly* Sheepy: Grif:...! *he's awestruck!* Arsé-kun: *She casually strolls across the lake's surface, gradually turning from water to something more human, a big smile on her face and the intent to kick a bird* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Welcome and good morning, brave knights. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... *he's visibly flustered* Sheepy: Elyan: *he turns into a puddle before shifting into a knight-like form. Something about the armor is eerie...* Sheepy: *...Perhaps the fact there's nobody inside it?* Arsé-kun: *Vivian wordlessly grabs Elyan's collar and throws him back into the lake. Unimportant* Arsé-kun: Lance: *he's been debating what to say, as to look good and--* Hi, Mom! I brought Grif! *nailed it* Sheepy: *Elyan melts* Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: I'm Griflet. It's nice to meet you, Mom. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: !!! Sheepy: *Grif quickly realizes his mistake. He's begun panicking...* Sheepy: Grif: I-I...! It was the first name I thought of!! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she just lightly pats his head* I don't mind. It does happen sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...But... I should know your name. Sheepy: Grif:...But I don't. Sheepy: Grif: However... I do know. Sheepy: Grif: You are a [Quest NPC]. Arsé-kun: Vivian: neat Sheepy: Grif: Let me see the options. Sheepy: Grif: >Tell me of this "Bambi" creature. Arsé-kun: Lance: Wh... Bambi's just a deer from some kid's movie. Why are you bringing that up now..? Sheepy: Grif: Nyarlathotep told me to find Bambi on the Playstation 2. Arsé-kun: Lance: Doesn't exist. Sheepy: Grif: ...! Sheepy: Grif: But...His reward for figuring out why Bedivere had memory loss was Bambi on the Playstation 2... Sheepy: Grif: Why did Merlin not stop me, I wonder. Sheepy: Grif: Right, that is why we are here...How do we fix it... Sheepy: Grif: But my Courage is too low to not get flustered... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Hm? Something happened to Bedivere? I liked that one.. Sheepy: Grif: He lost all of his memories yesterday after apparently struggling with memory problems for a while. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin blames you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she seems to be thinking* ... And what kind of state was that rat of a man in? *she means Merlin* Sheepy: Grif: He seemed perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she frowns* And the other two? Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, uh, Meril is trapped inside that tree... Still. Sheepy: Grif: Myrrdin is cursed. Sheepy: Grif: He suffers when he thinks about women. His coping method is to hole himself into his room all day like he did before you cursed him. Sheepy: Grif: If he died in there, it would take a week or two for anyone to start being concerned. Scary. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, the only difference between Meril and Myrrdin in that respect is the fact that one has the choice to leave but simply does not take it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. So two of the curses have stuck even to this day.. But the third... Sheepy: Grif: So your third curse probably has stuck around to this day. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin thought your curse was to make him need to feed on more emotions. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either he had all the attention or he was going to. I figured it would do him good to get a reset and suffer along the way... Arsé-kun: Vivian: I did no such thing as that. Sheepy: Grif: So it hit the wrong person. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It unfortunately does appear so. Sheepy: Grif: How can it be fixed? Sheepy: Grif: He is important to future quests most likely. Arsé-kun: Vivian: If those excuses for mages were not able to get rid of it by now, I'm not sure I would be able to either. But I would certainly have to try. Sheepy: Grif: Meril could be, too... But Myrrdin is useless to me. He charges higher prices for his services than many less convenient shopkeepers do and his bond only unlocks more items and services that are most likely too expensive. He occasionally snapped at me when I entered his room, too, back in Camelot. He can stay cursed, even if it would give me a few bond levels if I lifted it. Sheepy: Grif: I can try punching him until the curse leaves. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ugh, HIM! Yes! He never left unless he was forced out, and even then he was expecting people to just... Treat him like royalty! Arsé-kun: Vivian: So yes, please, punch him until it works. I will pay you to see it. Sheepy: Grif: He complains about how busy he is but doesn't even do the dirty work. He would sometimes send me off to get ingredients for him and have such vague descriptions that I would return with the wrong thing and he'd snap at me... Yes. I will punch him. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he wouldn't even remember that he asked me to do something in the first place and then drag me in to socialize with him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please tell me he's learned his lesson by now..! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: He seems lonely but still rarely leaves home because he's afraid. Especially around lakes. He refuses to get near bodies of water. Sheepy: Grif: He told me that the last time he tried leaving the house alone, he bumped into a serial killer who tried to crucify him and ended up in a hospital right next to a mind controlling slug. Sheepy: Grif: He hasn't changed his behavior at all, the reasons have just changed. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, that's true. It really did happen. Coworker knew the guy that did it. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... And the slug, but this isn't about that!! Sheepy: Grif: The slug is slimy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I have been wondering about him.. But yes, this really is off topic. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Making him afraid of going out was not the intention. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Then again, I may have underestimated his ability to flirt with everything that moves. Sheepy: Grif: There's nothing to flirt with in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: He'd find a way. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: That is why I must punch him until he's a decent person. Arsé-kun: Lance: Maybe.. Maybe at least stop if he gets too injured? Sheepy: Grif: Is he so weak not to be able to handle a hundred punches? Arsé-kun: Lance: From you? Yes, likely. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: He can have an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: He will realize my mercy and give me bond points. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most importantly, if you can bring Bedivere here, to me, without any of those wizards, I will try to remove it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I will do so. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ACCEPTED: Fixing Past Mist-lakes] Sheepy: Grif: Certainly, Merlin will trust me not to drag him in a side quest and end up with us both locked in a dungeon like the last time. Sheepy: Grif: The food was subpar and my other quest was timed so I broke out to finish my other quest and then returned to the dungeon (with a very unhappy Bedivere in tow) Arsé-kun: Lance: I trust you'll have a plan if it doesn't go so easily? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Dismember Merlin. Arsé-kun: Lance: Bedivere wouldn't like that. Sheepy: Grif: Knock him out? Arsé-kun: Lance: Still not healthy, but better. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: Throw him into my inventory? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. He would still be here. Sheepy: Grif: Bill. How high is your Charisma? Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea. Not as high as it used to be. Why? Sheepy: Grif: You can lose Charisma...?! Sheepy: Grif: But mine is already so low... Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't think you can go negative.. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I was thinking about distraction. Sheepy: Grif: But that wouldn’t work. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready? Sheepy: Grif: My newest plan... Arsé-kun: Lance: I suppose so.. Sheepy: Grif: We swap roles. You bring Bedivere here. I bring Merlin on a quest and get us thrown in a dungeon. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... You know? That might work. Sheepy: Grif: We need to find a dungeon now. Sheepy: Grif: But where? Sheepy: Grif:...We can figure it out later. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm just glad we have some kind of plan, at least. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why is Merlin banned, anyway? You can put the curse on the right person if he comes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't want to see him. Sheepy: Grif: Three quests... Good. Back in action. Sheepy: Grif: Let's work hard. Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes, lets! Sheepy: Grif: You can come too. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you don't want to. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, I certainly have to come part of the way, at least. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif drags Lance off to go find a dungeon.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian waits a few moments, and then goes back to the water to scoop Elyan out* Sheepy: Elyan: *Despite his watery form, he seems confused and concerned. Was he forgotten? Did he miss a cue and was supposed to stay for some super secret reason?* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't look so sad at me. He'll be right back. Sheepy: Elyan: *This doesn't seem to make him any less anxious. Is he not a good enough partner?* Arsé-kun: *Elyan gets pet* Sheepy: *Elyan calms down a little. He appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: *We then cut ahead to our current heroes arriving at the bar* Arsé-kun: Merlin: --But no! A forklift cannot lift another forklift WHILE it's being lifted! Physics don't work that way! Sheepy: Bedi: What...? Does it lose its lifting tool as it's being lifted? Sheepy: Bedi: So they could not be used as a staircase to the heavens then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's lifter would be too high up to reach the bottom of the other forklift, first off, and second off no! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: *Merlin groans, and busts out the hot wheels forklifts to demonstrate exactly how this does not work* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ---And anyway, you'd also have to account for more than just the forklifts. The weather, the wind direction and speed, airplane flight traffic, space rocks, who knows! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you stack a whole shitton of them like a staircase, and have enough counterbalance at the bottom, then MAYBE?? Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Why use those when you can just try to be shot out of a cannon? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! Absolutely not! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You would die before you even hit the stratosphere, or you wouldn't make it that far! This isn't Kirby, you can't escape the planet's velocity with a cannon! Or this tree apparently, but that's a different story and we're not telling it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And yes, hello, Sir Knights, what brings you here this time?? Sheepy: Grif: You. Come here. I need you. Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet, you should use "please" and greet us before you ask for something. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi: We can work on it. Okay? Sheepy: Grif: [You have unlocked Charisma Tutor.] Arsé-kun: Lance: Outside of that, Sir Bedivere, I believe I have found a place that would work excellently for our sparring. Arsé-kun: Lance: While it was originally Sir Griflet's idea, as he is busy with several quests, I figure it would be best if we scoped it out beforehand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One of which apparently needs me? Why? Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Excellent work! Sheepy: Grif: Why do you need reasons behind actions? Sheepy: Grif: Stop looking for logic. Sheepy: Bedi: You should be more polite and simply say you don't know. Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Sheepy: Bedi: It definitely is...! Arsé-kun: *Lancelot's Best Day in this Century Ever. He saw his Mom AND got complimented. It is a good day to be Sir Lancelot* Arsé-kun: *Yog opens the quest log for Grif to show that yes, Merlin is specifically required for [Quest: A Job Well Done-geon]. It is a requirement* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, gross. Should I not wear my good coat for this? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Wear what you want. Sheepy: Grif: But if you wear an outfit that makes you as slow as a bad escort quest, I will simply put you into my inventory until I need you. Sheepy: Grif: I do not allow slow escorts. I run into them the whole time or run ahead without waiting for them. Sheepy: Grif: If they get mauled by enemies, well... Sheepy: Grif: It is a failed mission. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I'm gonna wear the heavy coat. I have a bad feeling we'll be out late. Sheepy: Grif: If it's late enough, I'll swap to my pajamas so I can sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not even going to explain the problems here. Sheepy: Grif: Do you doubt my ownership of pajamas? Sheepy: Grif: I wear them over my armor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How? How do you have them? You went right from our time to now. PJs were invented in... Uh. *he stops to look it up* 1870. Sheepy: Grif: I bought them. Sheepy: Grif: You may see them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see. You'd been introduced to capitalism. Sheepy: Grif: [Griflet swapped to Dragon Onesie costume.] Sheepy: Grif: *...Despite his claim that there's armor underneath, it's not visible. JRPG costume magic!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, this means I can..! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: *Merlin swaps to a Fou onesie. with magic. yknow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: :D! Sheepy: Grif: We are coordinated now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you think I'm wearing this in combat, you're so wrong! Sheepy: Bedi: I see! Fursona suits! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... I hate that you know those words in that order. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin said that there's a convention where you wear your fursona as a suit and interact with other fursonas. Sheepy: Bedi: It's called a furry convention. Arsé-kun: *Griflet's glossary updated.* Sheepy: Grif: [Fur-monology has been added to the glossary.] Sheepy: Bedi: I would like to go to a convention one day. I have heard there are many different types. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not that one! Nuh-uh, no way! Sheepy: Bedi: Is it problematic. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It gets gross. Sheepy: Grif: Purroblematic. Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Yog sheds a single tear in his anti dimension* Sheepy: Bedi: Gross...? Hmm.. Well, one day we can go to a convention that you choose. Sheepy: Bedi: I know very little on the subject but find them fascinating. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe if we figure out the cure for their curses, Myrrdin and Meril can come, too. Sheepy: Grif:...! Myrrdin... Sheepy: Grif: I forgot about my quest of beating him to an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: I must do that. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, he isn't home... Arsé-kun: Lance: *phew* Sheepy: Grif: Is she picky? Can I choose Merlin or Meril instead? Sheepy: Grif: But they're nice enough...Meanwhile Myrrdin is nice sometimes and sometimes he acts nasty towards me and tells me that I'm bothering him by just being there.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you sure that isn't his substitute? Because I'm gonna suplex that guy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *mac loading icon* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Who the hell is "she"? Sheepy: Grif: ? Bill's mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I am no longer interested in going outside with you! *you can HEAR the terror in his voice* Thank you! Come again! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: She's never done anything to you. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Bedivere, I recommend we go now or we won't get the chance to. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Oh, right! Sheepy: Bedi: Let's get going then. Sheepy: *Bedi begins heading out with Lance* Arsé-kun: *Fou waves him off. Goodbye friend* Sheepy: *Bedi leaves!* Sheepy: Grif: ...And anyway, it is not as though she leaves her lake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not going there, right?!? Sheepy: Grif: What? No, of course not. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have any business there. Sheepy: Grif: Nor do you. This isn't an escort quest. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I have to? Sheepy: Grif: What, do you truly fear her that much? Arsé-kun: Merlin: She's scary! Sheepy: Grif: She was nice to me. Sheepy: Grif: I accidentally called her "Mom" and she wasn't bothered by it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wh-why were you even there?? Sheepy: Grif:? You told Bill to meet with her. We bumped into each other and went together. Sheepy: Grif: She told me that Myrrdin would refuse to leave his room and expect to be treated like royalty when he did. I told her that he was mean, ordered me around, and forgetful. Sheepy: Grif: You know, sometimes he'd give me an earful and then I'd return with what he'd asked for and he'd act all cheerful and nice like he didn't remember me. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmm, hold on a moment. Sheepy: Grif: You said "substitute"...? There is two of him...? Sheepy: Grif:...! Horrible, awful! Why two?! One is bad enough! One is so strict and mean! One acts sweet and funny... although I don't understand his jokes. Which is the substitute? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The mean one! I rag on the copy too, fuck that guy! He's SUCH a prick! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can do more than two but that's where it stops being fun. They start arguing... Sheepy: Grif: R-really? Sheepy: Grif:...How many do I need to punch? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Really. I need to split myself just to harass him one day-- Uh.. Preferably just the one? Sheepy: Grif: You can split yourself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've done it a few times, but not the same way he does. Not as fun for me. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But oh, you went with Lancelot, that makes more sense... Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We visited his mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Makes sense. So where was he going now..? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Th...they're...going to, uh, a sparring spot. Like Bill said. Were you not listening? Listen better next time! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I really wasn't. I was too angry about physics. Sheepy: Grif:...Uh..Yeah! That's your issue! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But okay. What did you need me for now? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Dungeon running. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm. Oh well. I guess a good dungeon exploration sounds like it could be fun. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Merlin shifts his outfit back to normal and then goes upstairs for some Gear™* Sheepy: *Grif waits patiently* Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns with a big winter coat and Stuff* Sheepy: Grif: Looks warm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is. But okay! Enough! Onwards before we lose motivation! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif leads the way!* Arsé-kun: *They're briefly spotted by Arséne while loading his grocery shopping into his car. This is the second time I've mentioned it ever bc he doesn't use it much. But here it is necessary. Anyway, he's glad they don't notice bc he's busy doing normal people things* Sheepy: *Especially since Grif is carrying a sword in plain sight* Arsé-kun: *nobody really cares. they've all seen weirder* Sheepy: *true* Arsé-kun: *like the giant lake slug. that was weird* Sheepy: Grif: Here we are. Arsé-kun: *SPEAKING OF LAKE SLUG, he's not here. The caves are though!* Sheepy: Grif: A slug was here once. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I heard. This place has some bad juju. Sheepy: Grif: It has zombies. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bad start. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can cause infections and all sorts of nasty stuff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Poison damage. Sheepy: Grif: You can heal poison damage. Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I don't screw up, yes. Let's just hope it's not necrotic damage too. Sheepy: Grif: Necrotic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Subtype. Rotting damage. From undead. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: That is concerning. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's gross. Like no thanks, don't want to be hit by a sharp corpse! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Then what do we do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Explore anyway! You're not gonna let some dead sons of bitches stop you, right? Sheepy: Grif: You aren't coming? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I'm coming, but you're in the lead, chief! Sheepy: Grif:...Right. Sheepy: *Grif goes inside.* Arsé-kun: *it's wet. it's mossy. it's moldy. it's dark and stinky* Sheepy: Grif: Stinky. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uh oh, stinky. Sheepy: Grif: Let's find loot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I sure hope there's some! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Let's keep going. Sheepy: *It feels as though they're being followed as they go further in...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin doesn't detect anything. He hates it.* Sheepy: *Something drips on Merlin...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin glances up and puts a hand out. He expects it to just be ceiling moisture.* Sheepy: *There's something similar to a spider leg hovering above him...* Sheepy: *But much more ice-like!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Hey, Grif? Come back here and identify this. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: *Grif returns to Merlin.* Sheepy: Grif: It's a cave ceiling. Arsé-kun: Merlin: For fuck's sake. How big can monster spiders get? Sheepy: Grif: Very large. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just saw a huge spider leg up there for a minute. Sheepy: Grif: I don't see anything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No shit, it's gone now. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it was just hungry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd like to not be vored by a gigantic arachnid. Sheepy: Grif: Then don't get eaten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lifechanging. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Sheepy: Grif: If it's a spider, we just dismember it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's true. All that silk might be good for something! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif turns around and continues on.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin follows him* Sheepy: *...For a bit, everything goes normal, before... the previously seen spider leg slips into the back of Merlin's shirt! It's cold and wet like ice.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin yelps and takes the dash action to get the FUCK out of dodge* Sheepy: *...Whatever it is is being dragged along with him!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: GRIIIIIIIIIIIFFF! Sheepy: Grif:....? *he looks back* Did you make a friend, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: IT'S TOUCHING ME Sheepy: Grif: It's panicking as much as you are. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get it off me please, quick! It feels like death's cold hand is reaching down my spine! Sheepy: *Grif pulls off the creature being dragged by Merlin and shows it to him. It's none other than...a headless man with tendrils coming from his back.* Sheepy: Grif: Look, Merlin, he's trembling. You frightened him. Arsé-kun: *That's not very expected or normal. Really* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he grabbed me first..! Sheepy: *The headless man is rapidly doing different hand motions. It appears to be very panicked sign language.* Sheepy: Grif: You can apologize to each other. Sheepy: ?: ........ "Sorry. It was a prank." Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Was it? ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Alright, you really got me. Sheepy: ?: "Where are we?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: We arrrrre under a lake in a cavern system in *someone honks a trunk horn in the right place on the road and it fuckin echos thru the entire cavern. it's incredible.* Sheepy: ?: "I don't know where that is." Arsé-kun: Merlin: W- *this happens a second time. This should not be possible. Water dilutes sound.* Sheepy: ?: "I am new here. I am looking for my family, but my horse has been eaten and my new mount is unruly." Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's rough, buddy. Sheepy: ?: "Are you lost, too?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: A little, but we came down here to explore. Sheepy: ?: "So I can tag along?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, why not? Sheepy: ?: "Thank you. I don't know my name anymore. Let me see..." Sheepy: *Despite his lack of a head, he seems deep in thought...* Arsé-kun: *Body language and reading emotions (for Merlin)* Arsé-kun: *also apparently he can see despite his lack of head. this poor man* Sheepy: ?: "Well, I think most accurate would be something along the lines of 'Headless Rider of the Sleepy Hollows'." Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he solemnly nods* Ah, yes. The horseless headless man. Sheepy: ?: "Not a horseman anymore. My horse was eaten by a wolf." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Color me surprised. Didn't know a dullahan's horse could be killed to begin with. heepy: Grif: So the wolf must be connected to death in some way, too. Like a demon that consumes souls and prevents them from being able to pass on. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Magical wolf.... Fenrir? Hati or Skoll? Sheepy: ?: "I don't know. He's been letting me ride him for the time being for some reason. He seems stressed." Sheepy: ?: "But he seems to mostly have a taste for humans." Sheepy: Grif: So he is an enemy to slay. Sheepy: ?: ...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now, now. Some dragons eat only humans and you still let them live. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: So he may not be evil? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Probably not. Why would an animal know better? Sheepy: Grif:....True. Sheepy: *Something is shifting in the darkness...* Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, of course. We wouldn't want to miss any timegated events~ Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif keeps walking.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin starts to follow, then turns back to drag the headless horseless man with them. Logic be damned* Sheepy: *Suddenly, something jumps out from the darkness!* Arsé-kun: *BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!!* Sheepy: Bedi: --This seems like a nice place to spar! Arsé-kun: Lance: I most Certainly said so. *he is proud of himself. look ma he did it* Sheepy: Bedi: You were right! Arsé-kun: *+100 pride. +10 appreciation. This is still the best day of his life so far in the 2000s* Sheepy: Bedi: I've always been fascinated by water because my travels have only lead me across land. Arsé-kun: Lance: And we don't need to go far to clean up. Nobody comes here, we won't get in trouble. Sheepy: Bedi: Incredible...! Sheepy: Bedi: Thankfully, I remembered my sword. Have you forgotten your sword before? It is very embarrassing. Sheepy: Bedi: However, the reason why I know this is not personal experience, but secondhand embarrassment from Lucan. Arsé-kun: Lance: Of course. It happens. .... On the other hand, I had to once fight someone with nothing but a stop sign, and it is very effective. Sheepy: Bedi: I feel as though you could fight using any object as a weapon and havs a good chance at winning. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well! Maybe so now that it's been said! *BEST DAY OF! MY! LIFE* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! And by sparring, we will both become less rusty. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well then, shall we begin? Sheepy: *Bedi gets ready to spar!* Arsé-kun: *Lancelot is Ready!* Sheepy: *They spar!* Arsé-kun: *It goes in a way. Stupid things are done by all involved. Smart things happen. And then the minute they're too tired to continue, Lance puts his stuff down and throws himself into the lake. Typical Lancelot* Sheepy: Bedi: *huff, huff* ...Good job, Sir Lancelot...! Arsé-kun: Lance: I should be saying that to you, Sir Bedivere..! For being rusty, you did well! Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Arsé-kun: Lance: And yourself. You can't usually protect someone if you are dead. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Bedi: I'd never thought of protecting myself. Arsé-kun: Lance: Most ghosts can't use physical objects. If you die, you're probably screwed. Sheepy: Bedi: However, if it bought my King even a second more of life, it would be worth it to me. Arsé-kun: Lance: I can already tell that Merlin would be pouting. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha... Yes, I suppose the same would apply for Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: However, I devoted my life to my King. That is what it should be used for. Arsé-kun: Lance: And you kept with it. How honorable of you. Sheepy: Bedi: But the King passing at the Battle of Camlann makes me think I am too weak to protect him if the time ever came that I needed to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The King's passing was unfortunate, but predetermined. Your loyalty and strength of will shall not go unnoticed any longer. Sheepy: Bedi: What? It was predetermined...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Everyone dies. That is a simple fact of mortal life. It was bound to happen. Do not stress- That you have come this far is such a testament of will. Sheepy: Bedi:...Thank you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. You are also welcome to come here whenever you'd like. The Excalibur let you handle it for a reason. .. But this is not about that. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi:...But what is this about? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I wanted to apologize to you. After all this time, it's been recognized that when I went to curse the three incubi, one of the curses did not land where it was intended. That would most likely be why your memory has degraded so much. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Sheepy: Bedi:...So I protected Merlin unknowingly. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That seems to be the case, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: The fact I was able to protect him brings me joy. *He appears surprisingly pleased!* Arsé-kun: Vivian: How sweet. I still intend to curse him, but it will be on a much more minor level. Because he has not had the needed karma. Bastard. Sheepy: Bedi: “Karma”...? Has he wronged you in some way? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either way, lets focus on the main priority, that being that you carry the curse you never deserved. Sheepy: Bedi: Can it be broken? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to find out now? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah..I mean, of course. Sheepy: Bedi: But how? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering where my brand of magic works best... How long can you hold your breath for, approximately? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? Not as long as Sir Kay can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That would be a given. Sheepy: Bedi: My experience with water is minimal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Noted. I'll have Elyan assist you then. Sheepy: Bedi: Elyan is here...? He is never far from Sir Griflet... Arsé-kun: Vivian: And Sir Griflet was here earlier today. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, for a quest to punch Myrrdin... But he was out. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Out of the building or out cold? This affects my response. Sheepy: Bedi: Out of the building. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That is unfortunate. Sheepy: Bedi:....? But him being comfortable enough to leave the home alone is a miracle after he was attacked by a serial killer the last time he went out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I only requested a punch, not a murderous beatdown. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, the serial killer wasn't Griflet. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does explain a lot. Sheepy: Bedi: He was running around trying to turn people into art pieces and attempted crucifying Myrrdin. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How... Ironic. I may need to look into this later on. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... what was his name... Sheepy: Bedi: Stephano something. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, right, what did you need from me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How long can you hold your breath for, again? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. My swimming experience is limited. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do your best. Now, you have several moments to prepare yourself. Sheepy: Bedi: *he inhales sharply* ...I will succeed! Arsé-kun: *Vivian draws near and places a hand on his chest.... Before sharply whipping herself around and dunking him into the lake. Vivian has gains bro* Sheepy: Bedi: --!! Arsé-kun: *She asked for a REASON, Bedivere!!* Sheepy: *And yet, Bedi is having difficulty!* Arsé-kun: *Probably because he got slammed in with a force greater than he expected.* Sheepy: *Thanks to Elyan's help, Bedi didn't drown! But he's tired, dazed, and confused.* Arsé-kun: *This is perfectly understandable, and no one will complain about this. If anything happened in the water, well, Lance doesn't know because he's paid this entire scene 0% attention* Sheepy: Bedi:...Did it...did it work? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly seems like it did, but perhaps I should have been more gentle. Sheepy: Bedi: No. I am fine. ...Just, feeling out of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would let you rest here on the shore, but it is moderately cold... Ah, I know. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi:.....? *he enjoys the warmth, but a question is haunting him...* Sheepy: Bedi:....How did you get a driver's license...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: By signing up for an adult's driving course and going through it. ...And a fake ID. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is a pain. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Bedi: Too bad. Sheepy: Bedi: If they didn't require them, getting groceries would be easier. Sheepy: Bedi:...Groceries...Why does that seem important... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Worry about it once you are home. It sounds like something Merlin forgot to do. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... good idea. Sheepy: Bedi: I cannot worry about it currently. Sheepy: Bedi: I can worry about it at home. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Try not to stress yourself out. We'll head there in a moment. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you...I'll try to relax. Arsé-kun: *Vivian pats his head and leaves him in the car to do a few minor tasks* Arsé-kun: *Which include placing Elyan in Bedi's lap to absorb the water, throwing Lancelot on the truck bed (he does not appreciate this bc it is covered in snow), and putting on more truck-appropriate clothes so she doesn't have to drive in her good dress. Overalls n' plaid for the hardworking swordwoman.* Arsé-kun: *and no, no one is allowed to see that last part* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this is where Elyan ended up...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: *Viv honks the truck's horn. Hjonk* Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet will probably return to the cafe after his mission is done... Sheepy: Bedi: Myrrdin should be there by now, too. Sheepy: Bedi: He'll probably be in his room if you want to talk to him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How exciting. But all right. *she starts her truck and puts her seatbelt on* Get'cher seatbelt on and lets get this show on the road. Sheepy: *Bedi buckles himself in!* Sheepy: Bedi: I am ready whenever. Arsé-kun: *and so, Vivian pulls the truck out of park and Lets Fuckin' Go* Sheepy: *The bar is open as always!* Arsé-kun: *Yes, but she has to PARK FIRST. Inconspicuous parking in front of an empty lot? Harder than it looks probably.* Sheepy: *true!* Arsé-kun: *Lance found dead on the sidewalk somewhere because you generally can't stay on an icy back of a pickup truck. It just doesn't happen* Arsé-kun: *But Bedi and Elyan made it, 100% safe and in one piece!* Sheepy: Bedi: This is our destination. Sheepy: Bedi: *he gets out of the car* Thank you for the ride. Sheepy: *Elyan is already making his way to the door wordlessly* Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. Lets give them a surprise, shall we? Sheepy: *Bedi enters the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm back! Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou're fou! *hello, this bar is run by fou and only fou* Sheepy: *Meril is nowhere to be seen...* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, it's just you today...? Sheepy: Bedi: So Myrrdin is in his room and Meril must be sleeping somewhere. Arsé-kun: *Fou turns around and peers over the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm... I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Your best bet may be meeting Myrrdin first, then... Sheepy: Bedi: He should be in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, of course he is. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, Meril is most knowledgeable on making drinks and he's asleep. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't mind. I would much rather wait until after I've finished for that. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I understand. Sheepy: Bedi: I think Griflet dragged Merlin somewhere, so he will be out for a while... Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does make this easier. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, Arsé-kun: Vivian: If he kills me, Lancelot gets my truck. I'll be back soon. Arsé-kun: *Viv goes upstairs. It isn't hard to follow the neet-ass stank. That's a joke but he can't be hard to find if he's stationary.* Sheepy: *Especially since his room is labelled!* Arsé-kun: *Vivian considers messing with him, but he's been through enough. She'll be polite to him this time and knock.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he takes a few moments to finish before opening the door. He looks surprised!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... It's serious if you're here to see me. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... ... I'll be blunt, this shit's lasted too long and I'm going to personally remove it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...? But I deserved it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You deserved it, yes. Absolutely. I can't disagree. Instead, you've gotten to the point where it is more damaging. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's true, but I've learned to live with it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However...I definitely wouldn't object to its removal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Listen, I don't want to hear you whining behind a closed door how you'll be the only one not lifted. You will. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot...I thought it might've been for a different reason like... Uh, "I'm not mad at you anymore, so I'm removing it"... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. I'm just being polite. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're still mad...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: The word is "Bitter", and yes. So can you hold your breath for longer now or do I need to treat you like a newborn? This is for important reasons. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept agreeing to meet up with you when I knew leaving alone wasn't something I felt comfortable doing. I should've just explained the situation. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Oh, I haven't gone swimming or anything, so I'm no better than when we last met. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought giving you distance was the best option so I really only interacted with water for drinking and bathing. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she sighs.* You need to get out more. And what, did you think I was going to show up in a chlorine-hole and pants you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: The last time I went out alone other than today I got stabbed multiple times. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, they added the capability of socializing without ever leaving your room! Shopping without ever leaving your room! Working without ever leaving your room! Modern technology is amazing! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Yes, we can talk about that first part later. I have questions about that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However, I still enjoy walking around at night...sleeping in graveyards... Hmm, they don't really allow you to use zoom in graveyards... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, right, removing it...Well, the fountain is here if you want to use it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you don't interact with water, but you kept it..? I can't wait to see my fountain looking like a rat's pissing pool. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No! I kept it clean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't let it get dirty. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But I stay away from lakes and pools. I wanted to give you distance until you weren't mad anymore. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought my presence would only make you angrier. "He won't come out tor me but he'll come out for some plants?" and so on. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair, but it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it helps any, I won't go out for the plants either. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you've gotten worse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to do it for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to doit for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hey, it's too dangerous to go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Save talking for afterwards. Please. Be quiet. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Fine, but only if you aren't going to leave the second you're done. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, what do I do? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'm not. I still have Meril to deal with after you. Now get in the fountain. Sheepy: *Myrrdin does as told.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts trying to remove this curse as well, but it's far stronger than the last one and it doesn't budge* Sheepy: *Myrrdin seems to be pained but is keeping his mouth shut...* Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How often do you cause this to go off? Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he grins sheepishly* Well... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... You're a mess. You're lucky you're cute, Myrr. Sheepy: Myrrdin:!! Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts managing to physically rip this curse off of Myrrdin's body. However, the curse is so strong by now that it can and will fight back with it's... Slimy, phlegmmy, pus-like, chunky and moist fuckin' shit, this long stringy gross spider web dipped in slime and vom, this fucking* Arsé-kun: *This curdled milk looking black ink mistake* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's biting his tongue. everything is pain! just don't scream and distract her!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hrk...That's what it looks like...?! ...Ghhh! *he clenches his teeth* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, it wasn't supposed to be pleasant..!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I-it’s...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's horrible! Th-that was in me...?! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Apparently..! It wasn't like this when I cast it, certainly..! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Eh, me setting it off so regularly must've made it turn into that... Sheepy: Myrrdin:.... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... If you're going to vomit, please do it away from me. Sheepy: Myrrdin:....I'll be back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Wash yourself off. You've still got residue on you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Thanks. Sheepy: *Myrrdin leaves for a few minutes.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian manages to shove the angry goo into one of Myrrdin's empty supply jars in the meantime. Thankfully. Staining is minimal* Sheepy: *Myrrdin returns, still looking a little sick... and the marks are still on his chest* Arsé-kun: Vivian: I stole a jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could even keep it if you want. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering it's got an angry ball of goo, I don't think you want it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I tried washing it off... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've grown used to the tattoos but knowing that gunk is still inside me... Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is offputting. I certainly did not expect it to have become so... Like this. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...I guess I let it grow too much? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Perhaps? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, every time I look in the mirror I get to remember how that looked. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're legally allowed to look at people and in trade, this. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... What are you still here for? Don't you have hot people to be staring at? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? I already am, aren't I? Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... I really do not know what I expected. Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... Right, there was something else I needed to ask you about. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What is it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll try to answer as best as I can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Where and who is the man that attacked you? I have a gift for him and it's pain. Sheepy: Myrrdin: The man who stabbed me... Stefano Valentino. Missing an eye, tried to turn me into an art piece... They arrested him. He's in jail right now. Sheepy: Myrrdin: My memory of the whole thing is kinda foggy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to watch him try to make art with no eyes? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh....? W-with you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I'd rather a movie, but this is fine too! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't push your luck that far. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh...Okay, I guess it's going a little too fast. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This time I'll show up! Arsé-kun: Vivian: If you don't, this jar is going under your pillow. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ehhhh?! Scary!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I will, I will! Sheepy: Myrrdin: And I can teach you about the wonders of instant messaging! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hmm, but do you have a phone? Or a computer? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, look at my clothes, look at my lake in the middle of nowhere- Where would I put a computer?? Sheepy: Myrrdin:......*he's thinking* ... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Your car? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I use instant messaging a lot. Arsé-kun: *the angry goo is angry in a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Is it supposed to look mad? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Doed it even have feelings? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It shouldn't. It was only a curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's so angry looking. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do I really have to keep it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'd be mad too if my purpose suddenly became useless. Also, yes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it goes back in me in my sleep? Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it comes after me...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, then you take it back off like a reused sticker. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does it eat food? Do I need to feed it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I... I genuinely do not know. I've never let a curse live this long. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...... Arsé-kun: Vivian: The other two weren't physical. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...so this is a mystery we have to figure out together. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would prefer not to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're making me take care of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You... I realized how awful this is in hindsight. It's like raising a child without the father. *she sighs, heavily* Fine, I'll help you, but we are not dating. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ouch... I guess I haven't dealt with my flaws yet, so I haven't become someone you'd want to date. *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: But leaving the house alone... makes me worry I'll be attacked and unable to defend myself...Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll work hard all the same...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that did happen the second I got comfortable, didn't it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly sounds like it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So getting comfortable isn't safe... Sheepy: Myrrdin:....... Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're an idiot. You have fists. Use them. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: And potentially injure them...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't risk something like that. Arsé-kun: *Vivian looks frustrated* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I would've just defended myself normally but I was so burnt out magic wise and didn't bring my staff. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I usually just flash a bright light and run. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But...using my fists? What if I hurt my hands? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Then heal them. Moron. Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather just not go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take the Cath Palug. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But Fou doesn't always want to go. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take your new son. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh...Hmm... I guess it'll get lonely now that it doesn't have me to try to kill at every waking moment. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're right, I guess. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But you'll have to pitch in sometimes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Certainly, but do not simply dump them on me from nowhere and then take off to bang several other people. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, I wouldn't do that! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, true. You would need to go outside first. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...! N-no...I... I do...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been working really hard...But...I...*he grimaces* When I start getting comfortable, things happen. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Things aren't going to stop happening just because one man is uncomfy. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's not what I meant. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, that isn't fair to say when we do not know if the overgrown curse was to blame for that as well. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So what do you suggest? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've tried all I can other than damaging others. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Get a guard dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Dog... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most people hone in on the dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sir Lancelot does seem safe and trustworthy... Arsé-kun: *Myrrdin is now in danger* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do not make me regret helping you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I kinda assumed you already did because it's me and somehow I manage to unknowingly make everyone mad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... If you're going to regret removing it, just put it back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: And watch you die? From something stupid? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's not as though you'd be around for it. Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts to say something but is interrupted by a door downstairs SLAMMING open and Merlin yelling "What's up, fuckers?!"* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, it must be Merlin. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess I should go check on what he needs. Arsé-kun: Vivian: A reminder to keep it down is what. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? It doesn't bother me. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What were you saying before he barged in? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Forget it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Did I tick you off? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're still extraordinarily dense. I'll leave it at that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... I am teasing you. You still can't tell? Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, not really. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Why would I want to chase down someone that harmed you, and then proceed to suggest you get injured? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...Because you personally want vengeance? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I've gotten more than plenty from you. Don't worry so much. Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I assumed you hated me unto this day. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Did I not state that the curse did far more to you than I'd intended? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It doesn't change the fact that me standing you up so many times wasn't right and that I still haven't improved despite saying I would. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The latter of which is by all means my own fault. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...So you don't hate me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: No, I don't hate you. Still not dating you, but I do not hate you Sheepy: Myrrdin: Of course not. I haven’t improved myself enough for that. I couldn’t bring myself to date you even if you wanted to. Not in my current state. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, if I wanted to, you wouldn't get much of a choice. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Scary. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. I really try. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do you... You don’t need to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I like to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I see that... Arsé-kun: Vivian: But enough talk. Lets take care of your brother. The actually cursed one. Take your son with you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Arsé-kun: *Vivian goes downstairs. Merlin sees her and screams* Sheepy: *Myrrdin follows* Arsé-kun: Merlin: WHY IS SHE HERE?! MYRRDIN!! WHY???? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Merlin, don’t be so loud. Look at my jar. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That gives me massively bad vibes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It’s my curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That’s great, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ?! *looks at Myrrdin's tattoos, back to the jar, back to Myrrdin, back t* Sheepy: Myrrdin: It left a stain. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Be glad you didn't see it outside of the jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll pass! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We’re keeping him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We already have Fou! Do we need two curses?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yes. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don’t think he and Fou will get along though. Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs the jar, and then recoils with the lemon-cat face* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And what the hell do you mean "He"? Curses aren't sentient! Sheepy: Myrrdin: This one is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It grew powerful enough to gain sentience. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So you want to keep... A living, sentient curse? That literally made your life hell? Why??? Arsé-kun: *merlin looks genuinely confused* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, if it's sentient, I made it that way. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not a child! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But if it were, it'd be Vivian's and mine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Ah. I get it. It's like you were man-pregnant. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now that you've said that, we'll get ads for mpreg comics with how ads seem to be picked up from conversations. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What, are those not fucking hilarious??? They're so bad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does anyone actually click on them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe for the irony. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, objects that stay around long enough become sentient, right? I'd guess it's the same deal here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look, man, I'm into some weird shit, but that takes the cake. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So you won't help Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I look like I know how to children? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't know how to either. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did Bedi get home yet? He adopted kids way back when, he should know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... If he remembers it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been upstairs with Vivian for a to while now. Arsé-kun: *Vivian does not input. She appears from behind the bar counter, takes a bottle of wine, and raises an eyebrow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh? Oh?? And what were you doing? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Talking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah? And what else? ;) Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'all didn't bang? You d-- Arsé-kun: *Vivian slams her fist over Merlin's head, flooring him instantly. He's okay, thankfully* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please do not forget that I still despise you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: F-fair enough..! Ow, ow... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now then. All three curses have been removed, I had to touch That *she gestures to the jar*, and I need to find my actual son. I have things to do, unlike you two, so I'll be taking my leave. Good luck with that. *and she leaves* Arsé-kun: *there's a few moments of silence, and then..* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, wait, we can all go out for food together now! We can go see Arthur with Meril! We could steal someone's car! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now we’ll need to list working hours.. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And take actual payment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shoot, you're right. It's not like he'll be home for the next century. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Gosh, but what’ll we even charge...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Money?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I could look it up?? Take suggestions from my fans? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, of course money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get a credit card scanner? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You need to be able to calculate all costs that go into making a drink such as labor, material, and other side costs and then calculate how much percentage profit you can reasonably make off of each drink. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Five dollar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, but actually.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets use this one for example. *he pats the closest bottle* This is, according to the label, about 13 dollars. It's 375 mL, but a cup is 237 mL. So it'd be like... Ten dollars for a cup of it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And then five for whoever finishes it off. Profit. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They get to keep the bottle. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Huh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, that sounds about right I guess. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But it's not like many people see us to begin with! Sheepy: Bedi: If you wanted to get around a 50% profit for it, you could charge $12 for the cup and $7 for the remaining portion. Sheepy: Bedi: But is that reasonable? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Two dollars more... Yeah, that sounds right! Good work, babe! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin pauses to process complex abstractions* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hold on a moment. Bedi, babe, hon, you went out with Lancelot earlier, but Vivian was looking for him. And since she was dealing with the curses, does that mean she dealt with yours...? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: !! Sheepy: Bedi: I took a shower to deal with the brain fog that came from her removal of the curse. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, my brain is still a little...hazy. I think with a good night's sleep the fog should fade. For now, however... Sheepy: *There's a yelp from Meril in the background.* Sheepy: Bedi:...We have no hot water. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Ah. Of course. Sheepy: Bedi: However, it felt very nice while it lasted. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We need a better heater... Maybe a modern radiator too.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But goods and services cost money! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We need to charge for our services so we can earn money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: These bar services, you mean. We need people to come in to get money. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But how...? Through advertising? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's where the problem with the tree being fuckin' invisible comes in!!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: This really is tough. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can we just convince the regulars to bring more people?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Good idea! Sheepy: Bedi: The lawyer knows many people due to being a lawyer, so perhaps he could help.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're right, but that doesn't settle the whole "Most people cannot see the tree unless it is introduced to them". Do we make a youtube video? Will that work? Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe... Sheepy: Bedi: But can it be caught on camera? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Never actually tried! Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if we put a sign on it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Let's try it later. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, speaking of... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, we were just talking about you! Come on in! Arsé-kun: *Barok enters the bar, looking relatively exhausted. He brought a friend!* Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Make me regret being alive and I'll let it slide. Sheepy: ?: It's hidden very welll... it is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can do that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, you brought someone else! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We were just considering asking you to do exactly that! Sheepy: Rikao: ...My name is Rikao... it is. I'm a defense attorney... yes. *he shyly looks away* My... my, uh, friend brought me. ...Friend... yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I will get Meril. One moment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're lucky today. We haven't figured out actual monetary prices yet, so our payment is the same as you've likely been told already. Sheepy: Rikao: Payment... It is necessary for me to pay you somehow... it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, we'll take either stories or whatever money you wanna pay. Doesn't really matter! Sheepy: Rikao: Scamming people is wrong... Yes. So I must pay you with money. My life is not that interesting... it's not. Arsé-kun: Barok: Oh? So I'm going to be the one sharing what set you off this week in court? Sheepy: Rikao: Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good, because I intended to anyway. Sheepy: Rikao: Really? Arsé-kun: Barok: Yes. I cannot believe you of all people fell for updog. Sheepy: Rikao: I have never heard of updog... Sheepy: Rikao: I assumed it to be a very tall dog...Yes. You look up and there is a dog... it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: .... *he picks up the tiny Rikao and puts him on a seat. he's so Small.* How are you going to reach your drink like this? Sheepy: Rikao: I go to bars often for performances. It is easier to "vibe" in this form... it is. Jalope taught me of this word. Sheepy: Rikao: He likes to say, "Rikao-chin is vibing, wei wei, ciao ciao," and such... Yes. Sheepy: Rikao: However, if it's not socially accepted, I'll follow your suggestion... Yes. *poof! He's a lot taller and much more human now!* Sheepy: Meril: Oh, customers... so early? *he looks cold* Arsé-kun: Barok: Afternoon. Could you kindly end my life? Sheepy: Rikao: Such a thing is usually illegal... Arsé-kun: Barok: Not like that. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, the usual? No problem. Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: He doesn't plan to poison you... Very good. ...Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: I can poison myself just fine, thank you. Sheepy: Rikao: Hmm... It doesn't take much skill to accomplish that... It doesn't. Sheepy: Meril: What would you like, ehhh... Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Meril: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Meril: So many people have the last name "bassist"? Sheepy: Rikao:...! Sheepy: Meril: My curse has been removed so I can go out whenever I want now. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheheh... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Hold on, Mer. Hold on. Arsé-kun: Barok: oh no Sheepy: Rikao: Ahahaha! *he's begun cackling and wheezing* "Bassist" is no last name...! Ahahaha! It's one of my- eheheh- occupations! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: .... This, in court. So help me God. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, so that's why you need a drink. Arsé-kun: Barok: I don't mind it outside of court. But in court... Sheepy: Meril: How do you get through cases? Do you win by making him laugh too much so he can't continue? Arsé-kun: Barok: I try not to resort to that. It feels like cheating. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm... Hmm... Courts are confusing to me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's got Fou in his hands like a toy and standing on his back feet* *squeaky voice* I'm Bassist, I do-a the dance moves! *he wiggles Fou's arms. Fou looks ready to commit a homicide* Sheepy: Meril: The goal is to win, but the goal is to figure out if the defendant is guilty...But the wrong side could win... Sheepy: *Rikao has begun cry-laughing at Merlin* Arsé-kun: Barok: There's a reason it takes so long to become a lawyer. Arsé-kun: *MERLIN STONKS* Sheepy: Meril: If you're a lawyer for long enough, can you immediately determine guilt? Almost like reading their mind? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish. Sheepy: Meril: You can't? Arsé-kun: Barok: If that point exists, I haven't reached it yet. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm...So maybe there's an legendary lawyer out there who's been practicing law for so long that they can read minds. Arsé-kun: *Barok considers this* Sheepy: Meril: I wonder where they'd be. Arsé-kun: Barok: On paid leave from court, probably. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheh... ... ... *sharp inhale* ... Legendary lawyer? No, there's nothing like that... Is there? Arsé-kun: Barok: I certainly hope not. Sheepy: Rikao: Reading minds would not be something I'd want... Sheepy: Meril: Right, your drink. What did you want? Sheepy: Rikao:......... *mumbling* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyone else get a "no" vibe? Just me? Sheepy: Meril: Eh? He said no drink? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just the vibe of a "no", but not an actual no... Sheepy: Rikao: *he looks away shyly before repeating himself, slightly more coherently* Arsé-kun: Barok: *ahem* The court will end your statement for you if you do not speak up. Sheepy: Rikao:....! Sheepy: Rikao:...Do you sell milkshakes? Uraragi does...is it a normal bar drink? Sheepy: Meril: Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Meril: So you want a milkshake. Sure, I can do that. Sheepy: *Something loudly crashes outside!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Theeeere it is. Keep the milk out, we're gonna need it. Sheepy: *Bedi gets the door* Sheepy: Bedi: Um...You don't look like a bird. Arsé-kun: Killia: I hope not. A loud angel crashed into your tree. Sheepy: Bedi: Loud...angel? Arsé-kun: *Barok groans in the background. Can't go ten goddamn minutes without Crow, apparently* Sheepy: Bedi: Do you have ID? Sheepy: Crow: Eye-dee? Arsé-kun: Barok: Excuse my nephew. He's, how do I politely say... *he makes a face of frustration* Sheepy: Meril: So he's with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish he weren't, but I'll take the responsibility of anything he does. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, that's fine. He can come in then. Sheepy: Crow: *gasp*...! I've solved the mystery of where Uncle goes after work! Man, I'm a genius. Sheepy: Crow: Just call me an ace detective! Ahahaha! Sheepy: Christo: Most detectives don't smack their face into things... Arsé-kun: Barok: .... ..... Please let me have some peace in my life. Sheepy: Crow: Peace? Sheepy: Crow: Am I not peaceful? Arsé-kun: Barok: You are... So loud. Sheepy: Crow: Is loud bad? Sheepy: Rikao: *he's looking Crow over* Sheepy: Crow: Loud works when you wanna scream the truths of life at the top of your lungs! Sheepy: Crow: How can you show your crimson passion without raising your voice? Sheepy: Rikao: Oh, that's it. SomethingCrimson. Crowley. I have heard your songs before...I have. Sheepy: Crow: It's CROW!! And "ShinganCrimsonZ"!! We'll be the biggest band and spread our crimson passion! But since you've heard our songs, you must be one of my cattle, so I'll let it pass! Heh! Sheepy: Rikao: No... I am an African wild dog. Sheepy: Rikao: I don't look bull-like... I don't. Sheepy: Crow: It means you liked them! And you like me! Sheepy: Rikao: No, that's not true. Sheepy: Crow: Eeehh?! Uncle...! How could he not like me? Arsé-kun: Barok: Perhaps because he doesn't actually know you. Maybe because you're yelling indoors. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: But this is my indoor voice...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sorry, Barok, but it's permitted! We can be louder if it makes you unhappy! ;) I aim to serve! Sheepy: Crow: Finally! Someone reasonable! Arsé-kun: Barok: Fine, but not so loud that you shatter glass. Sheepy: Rikao: Shouting and yelling is bad for your voice. Make sure you do vocal warm ups, too. ...Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I've never shattered glass by being loud before! Sheepy: Crow: Is that even possible? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! But it isn't easy, and has a bunch of required circumstances! Arsé-kun: *Fou covers his widdle ears with his paws. Aww. Lookit the bayyybeeeeee* Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: It's upset...it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shit, me too, he's not special. Sheepy: Rikao: He's like Jalope... he is. Sheepy: Crow: But...What is this place? Why do I need ID? Sheepy: Crow: But this is a bar, right? So if I pass it, I'll become a lawyer? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... That's the bar exam. They ask for ID so no children come in to drink booze. Sheepy: Crow: Booze... Sheepy: Crow: Booze....Hmm... Hmm... Like a drink ghosts have. Arsé-kun: *Barok starts to reply and just stops. He just gives up.* Sheepy: Crow: But if it were milk based, it'd be "mooze". Arsé-kun: Merlin: *snnnnrk* Well, have I got moos for you. *he slides a glass of milk to Crow* Merry January or whatever. Sheepy: Crow:!!! What? For me? I can tell you're one of my cattle just by that! Sheepy: Rikao: He's not a bull either. Sheepy: Crow: Anyone who likes my songs is one of my cattle! And anyone who listens to my songs likes them! Sheepy: Crow: That's one of the truths of life! Heh! Bet you didn't know that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you wanna be more accurate, it's the people who listen TWICE that like it. Gives 'em time to realize they do like it. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Really? Sheepy: Crow:...Huh! Sheepy: Crow: I'd never thought of that... Sheepy: Crow: Okay, then listen to my songs again! Sheepy: Crow: But for now...Why're you hanging out at bars? Arsé-kun: Barok: Why not? Sheepy: Crow: I expected you to have a different pass time... Arsé-kun: Barok: Passtimes are for when I haven't just finished work. Sheepy: Crow: ...? Sheepy: Crow: So you drink after work, huh... Sheepy: Crow: That's not really what I expected... Arsé-kun: Barok: What I do exactly is not your business. It is called a "personal" life for a reason. Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow:........ *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Crow: Huh. Sheepy: Crow: But you don't spend much time with me, so how else will I spend time with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'm busy. Am I supposed to quit? Sheepy: Crow: No. Sheepy: Crow: But I was just thinking that sometime when you're less busy, we should spend more time together. Sheepy: Meril: Right, here are your drinks. *he gives Barok and Rikao drinks* Arsé-kun: Barok: Appreciated. Arsé-kun: *Barok isn't clear on who he was speaking to...* Sheepy: Rikao: Thank you. Sheepy: Crow: Is your job really hard? You just go up and say things, right? But your stage is behind a desk. Arsé-kun: Barok: It wavers between determining someone's innocence or convicting them of a crime, with proper evidence. (yknow unlike yours) Sheepy: Crow: ? Hmmm... No, that doesn't seem right. Arsé-kun: Barok: It is not like your trial of... Whatever that was. Sheepy: Crow: Did you become a lawyer because of that? Arsé-kun: Barok: *ACE ATTORNEY PSYCHE LOCK.PNG* *ok actually he IS dangling a lock off his finger, but no chains or ace attorney music blaring* You'll no sooner get an answer to that than this piece of junk actually opening. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Either way, I was already interested in the subject before that event. Sheepy: Crow: But this bar doesn't seem that much like junk? Arsé-kun: Barok: .... The lock, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: Eh... If you just hit it on something it'll open. Arsé-kun: Barok: That has implications. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Will you hit me to make me open up? Sheepy: Crow: Why would I wanna see your insides? Arsé-kun: Barok: ....... *he kicks back his drink. discussion over* Sheepy: Crow: *thinking* Sheepy: *Rikao is focused on his drink* Sheepy: Crow:...Eh? Like, open up as in tell your thoughts? Arsé-kun: Barok: That's the one. Sheepy: Crow: But punching you would shut you up even more? And anyway, if we got into a fistfight, my crimson fists wouldn't be any match for you. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe, to both. Sheepy: Crow: Do I wanna risk it? Not really... Sheepy: Crow: If I punch you will I benefit from it? Arsé-kun: Barok: No. Sheepy: Crow: Then I guess I won't punch you. Sheepy: Rikao: Punching people when it benefits you is wrong too... It is. Sheepy: Christo: (So he would attack someone for his own benefit. I knew he was guilty.) Arsé-kun: Barok: Christo, you magnificent bastard, I can hear you. Sheepy: Christo:...?! Sheepy: Christo: Ahaha... Don't mind me. I'm just thinking to myself. Arsé-kun: Barok: If you'd like to make a court case out of it, I'd be more than happy to take the opposite side of the room for once. Sheepy: Christo:....... Sheepy: Christo: I don't have any interest in whether he's guilty or innocent. Just my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You two are the same brand of having no subtly. Arsé-kun: *but he is now Interested* Sheepy: Christo: Please don't compare me to him. Sheepy: Christo: That's how they decided I was the one who manipulated him into doing it. Because we'd met before and I could apparently mesh well enough with him to accomplish that. Sheepy: Christo: Now I'm in this mess. Really, it would've been easier on me if you'd seemed brighter and not like someone who'd need to be told to commit political crimes. Sheepy: Crow:? I don't even know the guy who got attacked... Arsé-kun: Barok: And you two don't get along. Who held that trial? I'll have a word. Sheepy: Christo: It's too late for such things. I'll need to prove my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: Okay. Hey, did you do it? Sheepy: Christo: Of course not! I don't benefit from the crime! Arsé-kun: Barok: Then my work here is done. You're innocent. Sheepy: Christo: What? Humans lie and say that all the time. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Listen, I came here to drink and sit here in almost silence. We can speak about this matter later. Sheepy: Christo:...I can't see what you can do for me, but where? Sheepy: Christo: Your home? My home? A common meeting place...? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'd rather go to you, but I'm not about to think that through. Sheepy: Christo: Yes, well, I live with the Seraph. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Barok: ........ Arsé-kun: Barok: ...... How the hell did they kick you out at that rate?? Sheepy: Christo: They hated me and I hated them. Arsé-kun: Barok: And the Seraph just let them? Sheepy: Christo: Yes, I suppose so. Sheepy: Christo: But he isn't at fault. Sheepy: Christo: Of course the idiots who blindly rushed to conclusions are at fault. Sheepy: Christo: That's why I think you can't do anything. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe. Maybe not. Sheepy: Christo: However, if I prove someone else fully guilty, they can't blame me. Sheepy: Crow: They can blame you for any crime they want if they don't like you being around. Arsé-kun: Barok: On the other hand, if Crow is innocent of intentional assault, then you'd be acquitted as well. Sheepy: Christo: But then who is guilty if not him? The Seraph has me spending time with him often to help him learn to control his abilities. He's nearly injured me a few times from getting too fired up.. Sheepy: Crow: You keep rushing me and it makes me nervous! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Some people just cant perform under pressure. It's just like that sometimes. Sheepy: Christo: But in that case, why am I the one tasked with this...? I'm the least suited for this. Sheepy: Christo: Anyone here would be better suited at it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, I don't think that's true. I've heard I'm scary as a teacher. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe it'd teach you patience. Sheepy: Christo:...... Sheepy: Christo: So that's why he's stuck me with this job... Sheepy: Christo: Isn't this your job...? Arsé-kun: Barok: No? I'm a prosecutor. When would I have time for this? Sheepy: Christo: Then what about his dad? This shouldn't be my job. Arsé-kun: Barok: He's a disaster. Sheepy: Christo:....? Arsé-kun: Barok: Crow got it from his father's side. Sheepy: Christo:.... Sheepy: Christo:...You jest, of course! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: I fucking wish. Sheepy: Christo:....This really is an unsolvable problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Git gud Sheepy: Christo: Unfortunately, despite my efforts, he doesn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow, that sucks Sheepy: Christo: Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I'll show how cool I really am one day! Sheepy: *Rikao has been tuning out this whole conversation. Talent* Arsé-kun: *Fou wants to dead* Sheepy: Crow: And then you'll have to like me! Heh! Genius plan! Arsé-kun: Barok: Please stop speaking. Sheepy: Crow: ? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I guess I don't have to show you because you already like me. Sheepy: Crow: You'd already know how cool I am 'cause of how long you've known me! Which is ever since I can remember! Sheepy: Crow: Although, speaking of that, it hasn't worked as well as before the fall.... Sheepy: Crow: I wonder why... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you want an answer to that? I could guesstimate one. Sheepy: Crow: Sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, all right! Just make sure to stop me if I lose you! Sheepy: Crow: Right! Arsé-kun: *He goes off to the side and pulls down a whiteboard. It was getting very dusty. It has not been used in at least a month. Fou sneezes. And then he leaves to dig out a goddamn 2003 school projector. We're about to do a L E A R N* Sheepy: Crow: Wow, what is that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Old school tech, before every classroom had shiny projectors and computers! Sheepy: Crow: Huh...! Arsé-kun: *Merlin doodles a little cloud and a little hill, busts out a calculator, and then starts being a goddamn nerd* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, for starters, you fell from about... ten thousand feet up? So- Arsé-kun: Barok: fourteen hundred, idiot Sheepy: Crow: Some big number like that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, is that it? That changes things. *a few more calculations* Even better. Okay, so you well from about 14k to ground zero. Without intentional streamlining or parachute, people drop at about... 180 miles an hour? So you'd have fallen for about a minute. So you absolutely hit terminal velocity, and as a general rule? Hitting something at that speed fuckin' hurts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hit your head at that speed? You're lucky you're here with us. No wonder you'd get brain damage. Sheepy: Crow: Huh.... Sheepy: Crow: That fits in with what I know. Sheepy: Crow: I don't remember too much after the fall other than not really being able to do much for a while. It hurt too much. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he pushes the sheet off the projector. whoosh. don't need that anymore* Yeah, makes sense. I'm no angel, but I've done my fair share of dumb shit. Sheepy: Crow: You did it too? Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin... Sheepy: Bedi: Parachutes exist for a reason. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I didn't mean that! You always skydive with a parachute! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) Sheepy: Bedi: *he's smiling, but it's clearly not genuine. Scary* What did you do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I went skydiving once without saying that's what I was doing. I used a parachute! I promise! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, Meril, you wanna experience terminal fucking velocity?? Sheepy: Meril: No, not particularly. How do you do it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get on a plane. Wait for the right altitude. Jump off the plane and belly flop into the sky. Profit. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... ... what Sheepy: Meril: Plane? Sheepy: Meril: The metal bird? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The metal bird! Sheepy: Bedi: It has people inside. Sheepy: Meril: It...eats people Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a car! For the sky! Sheepy: Meril: !!!! Sheepy: Meril: But what about the ground? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you put Fou upside down on your back, you’ll never hit the ground. Sheepy: Meril: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: Cats always land on their feet, so you’d just keep ascending upwards. Sheepy: Meril: That... Isn’t... Arsé-kun: Fou: *flops onto his side. bedi is wrong and should feel bad* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, you agree? Arsé-kun: Fou: No Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cats do it because they have good reaction times and flexible twisty spines, unlike people, we aren't lucky like cats Sheepy: Bedi: ........!? Sheepy: Bedi: How do they not break their legs? Sheepy: Bedi: Is it pure talent? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shock ab--- I'll make it easy for us. Flexy spine absorb impact better than stiff human spine. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.......Stiff... Sheepy: Bedi: ............So if I do stretches enough, I'll be able to do it too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: hun you are the stiffest man alive sometimes. You know what I mean and not the haha funny way. Sheepy: Bedi: ......Yes, not personality wise, but..... Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, personality too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And speaking of, how DID the-- Myrr, shut up! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hahaha... I'm not wrong, though. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How'd the sparring go? Sheepy: Bedi: Tiring but important practice. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, but... Sheepy: Bedi: I have a habit of getting very "into it". That's the phrase, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, so please be careful if we spar. Sheepy: Bedi: However... I should start stretching as you mentioned... But I never remember to do it. Arsé-kun: *Fou gets up and does a big kitty stretch before going to investigate Christo* Sheepy: Christo: ...? *he bends down* It's a cat. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Christo: But not like I've seen before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a water cat. He came from the water and he can stay there. Sheepy: Christo: Water....cat? Sheepy: Bedi: A cat that lives in water. Arsé-kun: *Merlin smirks but keeps his filthy mouth shut* Sheepy: Christo: Then why the fur rather than something more...underwater-y? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's still a cat. Sheepy: Bedi: Because he's furry. Sheepy: Crow: I've been called a furry too! Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin has told me about furries. Apparently they hold forbidden conventions. Sheepy: Crow: At the pet store? I've talked to some hedgehogs there but they just ignore me. Arsé-kun: Lance: *what the hell is happening in this thread* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Babe, there is a REASON I don't tell you things about it! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... If even you find it to be... unspeakable, well, it must be terrible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There is currently a kid present so I REALLY can't. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Crow: I'm no kid! I'm a hedgehog! Sheepy: Crow: Do I look like I eat cans to you...?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What the hell are you talking about? Sheepy: Crow: Goats eat cans so kids do too, right? Sheepy: Bedi: I never ate cans as a child... Arsé-kun: Killia: what is this weasel on about? Sheepy: Crow: I'm a hedgehog! Arsé-kun: Killia: Same thing. Sheepy: Crow: No!!!!! Sheepy: Crow: They're completely different! Sheepy: Crow: I'm super cool and prickly! Weasels are just, uh... Sheepy: Crow: Anyway, kids are baby goats, aren't they? Sheepy: Bedi: This is how our conversations usually go here. Sheepy: Bedi: But I guess you've mostly been spared it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You say that but you're almost always the source of it. Sheepy: Meril: *he seems more fixated on the door than anything* Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think that's true. Sheepy: Bedi: Usually I'm comprehensible, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Usually! It's only when you get into the deep logics that we totally lose you. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes...I suppose that makes sense... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It could be like explaining yachts to Mer-- *he pauses* Arsé-kun: *Meril has been replaced by a cloud of dust, and the door has been Thanos Snapped out of existence. Just the door. Not even the hinges* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Bedi: This is bad...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's wearing sandals. It's January. How far's he gonna get? Sheepy: Bedi: Do you plan to just let him go out without a watchful eye? He doesn't truly know any rules of the modern world... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, hey, I think he's learned enough to survive! He wasn't told all this stuff for funsies! Sheepy: Bedi: But...... Sheepy: Bedi: I feel nervous letting him go out alone. Sheepy: Bedi: But the longer we discuss it, the further away he gets. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just shrugs* Sheepy: Bedi: So shouldn't we go after him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And leave just Myrrdin looking after a full shop? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's to me, right?? That was to me? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't want to be left all alone! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can go looking if you want, Bedi! But we gotta hang back. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. I'll do my best. Sheepy: *Bedi exits* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, come back and get a coat! Sheepy: Bedi: --Oh! Thank you! *he rushes back to get his coat before leaving, this time wearing a coat* Arsé-kun: *There really isn't a reason for there to be two wizards as working staff, it's not like anyone is doing anything* Arsé-kun: *The most that is actually happening is Fou getting more petting action. Pet! That! Cat!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wonder what I should name him... Sheepy: *Christo is enjoying petting Fou* Arsé-kun: *Fou appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're really doing this? We're genuinely keeping a sentient curse? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's my fault it's sentient. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't just run away from it and forget about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, yeah, that's how you get a revenge-driven super wraith. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, it'd make me no better than, uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I don't want to do anything I'll regret. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, you're in, too? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeaaaah, count me in! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, thanks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So what are we thinking? Something normal, something edgy? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I dunno. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Maybe it'll react differently to a name it likes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Does it have those?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, it's sentient, so it must, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I mean, it'd have tastes simiilar to mine, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You'd think so, but Fou and I don't get along either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: True... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, we have to try, at least. Arsé-kun: Kay: Call it Bitch Tits and move on with your goddamn life! *he says as he barges in* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Is that how you usually name living things...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, I got all these new words to use! I'm gonna use them! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But for naming something? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, what did you need? Arsé-kun: Kay: What do you think I want? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Booze? Arsé-kun: Kay: Booze! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sure, I can do that. Arsé-kun: Kay: You? Where's Antlers? Did he finally ditch this coop? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, he left without a word and now Bedi's hunting him down. Arsé-kun: Kay: Explains why Bedi's stalking the streets. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Vivian showed up and removed our curses. Although, Bedi's still acting like a forgetful airhead, so maybe removing his curse didn't change much... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right, you missed that whole ordeal, didn't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Be nice to Bedi!! He isn't even here right now! Sheepy: Myrrdin: You'd rather I say it to his face...? Isn't it better to say it behind his back? Arsé-kun: Kay: booze Sheepy: Myrrdin: What booze do you want? I'm not an exoert on these things. Sheepy: Myrrdin: While I prep it I can tell you what happened. Arsé-kun: Kay: Surprise me. *he plops into a seat* And we're crowded today, huh? That's new as far as I know, which ain't shit. Sheepy: *Myrrdin starts preparing a drink* Sheepy: Myrrdin: We only get guests every so often. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But the good news is, Bedi got his memories back, if you heard about him losing them all the other day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, but he was always an airhead. I don't expect much to change. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks annoyed* Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's exactly what I thought. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it'd hit the right target, we"d have caught it way sooner. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Fine, I'll give you that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Because it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: All three of them are. It must run in the family. ...Although I'm pretty sure Grif isn't actually related... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We have no way to know that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Know what? That it's genetic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ye Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess Tristan giving Lucan brain damage could be a contributing factor... Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucan has an excuse to be stupid. Bedi has some excuse but not much. Grif's dumb as shit. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's so stupid. I swear he was saying he was gonna fight the cars on the highway. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Should we be letting him do that? People are in those. Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I saw a few crashed cars along with a weirdo in green fighting Mr. Thanny. Sheepy: Crow: I didn't think much of it so I didn't ask. Arsé-kun: Merlin: wh. what Arsé-kun: Lance: I saw it also. I just let him do his business. Thankfully, no one in any of the vehicles was injured. Sheepy: Crow: Well, cars are usually the best weapon to fight Mr. Thanny with, right? Arsé-kun: Killia: Considering the man got out of a car to fight him, I want to say no. Sheepy: Crow: Mr. Thanny can drive... Arsé-kun: *Merlin, genuinely shocked at this turn of events,* Sheepy: Crow: But he can't be asked for insurance info because that doesn't cover lifting and throwing cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: It should. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah. Sheepy: Crow: But it doesn't. Arsé-kun: Kay: The hell's an insurance? Sheepy: Crow: Every month you pay for insurance that covers different aspects of your life just in case something happens to that aspect. Arsé-kun: Kay: That seems reasonable. Sheepy: Crow: Like if you have life insurance and die, they'll pay your significant other so they can be financially stable without a second source of income. Sheepy: Crow: Or if you have car insurance and you get in an accident, they'll help pay for your repairs...I think. But they raise the rates. Sometimes they pay the other person, too, if you're at fault, and sometimes their insurance pays you if they're at fault. Sheepy: Crow: Legally, you need car insurance to be able to drive, just in case! Sheepy: Crow: It's okay, I didn't know when I first fell either! But now you do! Sheepy: Crow: But you might find you have nightmares and a fear of heights that you didn't have before so just be careful about that. Arsé-kun: *Barok picked himself up to stare at Crow for a moment. Just a moment* Sheepy: Crow: Eh? What? Arsé-kun: Barok: Of all things you learned from me, it was that...? Sheepy: Crow: It's something I have to know. Sheepy: Crow: What, would you've preferred something else? Sheepy: Crow: Unless insulting a detective is a crime, I've committed zero crimes in my life. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Crow: That's not a crime. Sheepy: Crow: That's an accident. Sheepy: Crow: You've damaged property too, haven't you? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You've gotten me there. Sheepy: Crow: So I'm crimeless. Arsé-kun: Barok: Well, yes, but actually no. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Barok: For starters, your name is not Crimeless. It's Crocell. Sheepy: Crow: N-no!!! Sheepy: Crow: It's Crow! Which is way cooler! Sheepy: Crow: Crocell's such a nerdy name! Sheepy: Crow: Why do you get a cool name lile Barok when I sound like a nerd? Arsé-kun: Barok: Because your father's an idiot. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Arsé-kun: Barok: Clearly I was named better because I AM better than him. Obviously. Sheepy: Crow: Well, you stuck with me. Dad didn't. I can't disagree. Sheepy: Crow: Having him around is great, but I actually don't know him well... Arsé-kun: Barok: *FINALLY!! SOMEONE AGREES! CONFETTI! PARTY CANNONS!* *nnnot that anyone can see that, he just kinda nods* Arsé-kun: Barok: That takes time. Sheepy: Crow: We don't interact much because I wake up at a reasonable time [5 AM] and he wakes up way later than you'd expect. Arsé-kun: Barok: 5 pm? Sheepy: Crow: Usually earlier. Sheepy: Crow: Like noon. Arsé-kun: Lance: Still better than his work schedule, I'll give you that... he then realizes he said that out loud and shuts fuck* Sheepy: Crow: Work schedule? Sheepy: Crow: He doesn't tell me about work. Arsé-kun: Lance: That's for the best. Sheepy: Crow: Why? Arsé-kun: Lance: It isn't fun to talk about. Sheepy: Crow: Ah, so he does bad things Arsé-kun: Lance: Did he not tell you..? Sheepy: Crow: I wouldn't remember if it wasn't more than once. Sheepy: Crow: My memory isn't very good so I mostly devote it to my job. Arsé-kun: Lance: He had a particularly bad job. He didn't enjoy it as far as I was aware. Sheepy: Crow: His dog did try mauling me though. Arsé-kun: Lance: That sounds about right. Sheepy: Crow: It's kinda rude. Sheepy: Crow: Hedgehogs are spiky so dogs won't eat them... Sheepy: Crow: Maybe I'm not spiky enough? Arsé-kun: Killia: You're about as spiky as a children's bouncy house. Sheepy: Crow: Are those spiky? Arsé-kun: Killia: No. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Killia: It's for children. Why would it have spikes? Sheepy: Crow: Because children like spiky things. Sheepy: Crow: Like dinosaurs! Sheepy: Crow: But if you think about it, no child has met a dinosaur before, so how do they know they're cool? Sheepy: Crow: There's Myumon ones still around but not fossilsauruses. Arsé-kun: Killia: The same reason dragons are cool. They just are. Sheepy: Crow: If I met a dragon, I'd punch it to say I've punched a dragon. Arsé-kun: Killia: The dragon would most certainly end you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I know a dragon you could punch, but he'd probably remove your hand and your arm from its socket before saying, "QUEST: Unarmed Combat COMPLETE"... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could also punch his dad but he'd just ignore you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You kiddin'? He'd overshoot and knock yer ass out before takin' a leg to "scare" you. Arsé-kun: Lance: And he is still currently fighting a reaper outside. I hope they are still on the highway and not coming any closer. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If they break stuff, which do I sue? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...Both would just end my life on the spot, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grif. How the hell do we sue Death?? Grif would just get a minigame tutorial. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You think he'd cheese being sued? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can see it now! A full court room! And then Griflet enters, stiffly T-posing and crouching at the desk repeatedly. He glitches out of bounds and skips the event. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Spinning around in circles three times and sliding your foot up against the defendant stand will cause you to clip into the ground and be able to walk outside of the courtroom during session. Arsé-kun: Kay: Literally ain't got any idea what half those words mean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We're considering Griflet escaping a courtroom by breaking the laws of physics to his advantage. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Physics don't work like this, but he might think they do! Sheepy: Rikao: An opponent incapable of being tried by law... Scary. ...it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: *he picks his head back up to re-enter the conversation* If he tries that shit in court, I blow him up on the spot and we never talk about it again. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that would be initiating combat, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Can you run in court? Arsé-kun: Barok: You cannot run in court. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...So he's locked in with you and you're locked in with him. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So it's a battle until one side can no longer fight, but if he thinks he'll lose he may just play dead. Arsé-kun: Barok: If he can beat his uncle, and his uncle can beat me, this would be a very unfavorable situation. Never mind. He can hack whatever wall he wants. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wallhacks are allowed! He can escape the law! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can he escape deeznuts? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Depends on his agility. Arsé-kun: ?: *outside, slightly muffled* ---And that WILL be your final warning. Do not make me appear again for something so downright idiotic. Do I make myself clear, dragon? Sheepy: Grif: No. You're opaque. Arsé-kun: ?: ... ... Get out of my sight. Sheepy: *Grif suddenly comes crashing through a wall, landing on a nearby table!* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't even bother turning around to look. He knows.* Sheepy: Grif: The enemy has fled. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds more like the enemy kicked yer ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hi, Kay. Death yelled at me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatt'd you do now, Chucklefuck? Sheepy: Grif: I helped an old woman cross the street. Sheepy: Grif: However, it seems he disagrees with my methods. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Did you toss the dame, or did you kill the road? Sheepy: Grif: I must protect old people. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that with no cars, old people won't be hit by cars. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that cars can't move without wheels on the road. Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet, cars have human drivers. Sheepy: Grif: So, I came to the obvious solution of flipping every car on the road. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but these cars were unattended. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Grif: They moved by themselves. Sheepy: Grif: No one on top riding them. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Lance: ........ Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet. People ride inside of it. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't ride inside of a horse. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets himself another drink* Sheepy: Grif: Why ride inside of a car? Arsé-kun: Lance: It's made to contain and protect passengers. You aren't as protected on horseback. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Well, I'm sure the drivers will figure something out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Like suing you for assault and property damage? Arsé-kun: Lance: And by flipping cars, you probably injured someone at least once. Grea---Terrible job. Don't do it again. Sheepy: Grif: Is that why Death came to face me? Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, my level isn't high enough for this. Sheepy: Grif: But my uncle gives good EXP, so maybe I'll just camp him. Sheepy: Crow: You're the dragon, right?! So I can punch you?! Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Get the caskets ready. Sheepy: *Crow punches Grif. COUNTER! Speaking of which, that's what Grif punches Crow into.* Sheepy: Grif: [Counter skill leveled up!] Arsé-kun: *Several things fall off the counter, many of them glass. Cups mostly, but also at least one bottle and a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And we have to clean up glass, now, too?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, the jar! Arsé-kun: *THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB HAS A LOT OF GLASS SHARDS! THE BLOB IS LOOSE* Sheepy: Myrrdin: !!! Arsé-kun: *The curse blob proceeds to.... Beeline to Myrrdin and hide behind his leg.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ah, Griflet must've frightened it... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now you've done it! Look, you scared a child now too! Horrible job, Grif! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you dumb mother fucker, they're sayin you did a shit job. You did trash. Stop bein' an asshole for ten seconds. Sheepy: *Myrrdin bends down and gently picks up the curse blob. Hello!* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: But there's a chance that when I get punched, I'll counter. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Into the counter, cool, but have you considered? Making sure what you're doing is a good idea? You flipping cars seems to have a 0% approval rate! Arsé-kun: *the curse is hold* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: So don't flip cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: Only do so if absolutely necessary. Most drivers stop the car so you can safely cross. Sheepy: Grif: [TIP: Flipping cars is illegal. If you commit crimes, your friendship will drop with any witnesses.] Sheepy: Grif: I see. So don't flip cars. Sheepy: Grif: I'll avoid it in the future. Sheepy: *Crow's out cold...* Sheepy: Grif: But what if they don't stop their car? Arsé-kun: Lance: THEN you can flip it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. This information is useful. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't know. Arsé-kun: *Barok, looking about ten times more annoyed than he did when Crow arrived, begrudgingly gets out of his booth. Uh oh! Here comes the angel man* Sheepy: Grif: [A boss is approaching!] Sheepy: Grif: >Running is not an option! Arsé-kun: *Barok doesn't even give Grif a chance to have an opening turn. He just grabs Grif by the face, drags him to the door, and Blasts this man into orbit with what can be called a Holy Hyper Beam. Busting your wings out is worth it when you send a man into space* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, he's probably dead. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If he's not, I'd be surprised. Sheepy: Christo: (Right, I shouldn't aggravate him. I could be at the receiving end of that.) Arsé-kun: Barok: I really couldn't care less either way. *he goes to check on Crow* Sheepy: *Crow is still out. He's probably going to have some nasty bruises in the morning along with a lump on his head. Ouch* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't worry too much! Most wounds heal pretty quick in here! Sheepy: Christo: Even if it didn't, I could heal him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd probably also be appreciated with the look I'm getting..! Sheepy: Christo: Do I have to...? Sheepy: Christo: This is the first peace and quiet I have had all day. Arsé-kun: Barok: It would be appreciated. Sheepy: Christo: Right... Sheepy: Christo: Right. I'll go ahead and do it. *he lifts his hands up, only to be startled by "You were returned to your previous autosave point!" appearing on a screen in front of him*) Sheepy: *Grif, too, appears, rubbing the back of his head.* Sheepy: Grif: ...I hit my head on the skybox. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good. Sheepy: Grif: No, it hurt a lot. heepy: Grif: Thankfully, according to many, I am hard headed along with empty headed so I cracked the skybox instead of my skull and nothing was inside to be damaged. Sheepy: Grif: If I'd cracked my skull thanks to you, I'd have cracked you in response. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if you truly want me to see a tour of your home, don't try to throw me there. Sheepy: Grif: I'll come there myself without your help. Sheepy: Christo: How will you go to heaven yourself? Do you intend to climb there with a ladder? *he's very clearly being sarcastic* Sheepy: Grif: If you put a ladder on a ladder and continue this forever, you'll eventually reach heaven. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm going to have a stroke. Sheepy: Grif: What? Don't let Elyan hear that. If he hears you eat strokes, he'll fear you. Sheepy: Grif: I have eaten a few uncooked but they're hard to catch because they fly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Y'know, I'm not really feelin' it anymore. You kids have fun, I need to not hear you speak. Sheepy: Grif: Where are you going? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You remind me of Bedi but less comprehensible... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I need to reintegrate myself into incubus society and figure out why my energy drains faster than a chromebook. Maybe find a nice place on the moon to live, learn where the best brothels are, maybe even figure out what the hell's wrong with me. That, or I'll head to the club down the street. I'll figure out which on the way. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, the best brothers are right here! You, me, and- eh, Meril isn't here for once... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can't just drain you two! That's cruel and unusual! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather you didn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And anyway, you doofus, I said BROTHEL! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, now Grif's stupid has infected me. Sheepy: Grif: Don't lie. Sheepy: Grif: It's not communicable. Arsé-kun: *lancelot continues vibing with headphones on in the bg* Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not?? That's a shock. Sheepy: Grif: Why would it be? Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though you can read my mind. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but you speak your mind, so we basically hear it anyway. Sheepy: Grif: Yes...that's true. Sheepy: Grif:..Right, I have a quest here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Myrrdin? Brace yourself. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What...? Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 16 Sheepy: *Grif punches Myrrdin in the stomach! He drops to his knees, wheezing* Arsé-kun: [QUEST COMPLETED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: *grif gained some xp. yay.* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 18 Arsé-kun: *... About a moment later, the Curse Blob Child rears up and bashes Grif in the knee for his Crimes. You have Angered it* Sheepy: Grif: --!! Sheepy: Grif: Ghh...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kick his ass, flubber. Sheepy: Grif: I see... This quest is more difficult than I thought... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Have y-you heard of solving things with words?! What did I do to deserve that?! Sheepy: Grif: Checking HP. *he opens up his stat screen* Arsé-kun: *He's still got most of his hp, he was just hit in the knee. Myrrdin is low, though, and something called "Angra" is at full health. etc, etc* Sheepy: Grif: A second enemy... Sheepy: Grif:...Or maybe just a neutral character? Arsé-kun: *Barok has used this situation to move crow and huddle up in his booth. Do Not Disturb* Sheepy: Grif: Right, I don't know what you did. Sheepy: Grif: Vivian gave me the quest. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...Did you not listen to what she said... Sheepy: Myrrdin: She definitely didn't! We just had a nice time talk-Ooowww...! Arsé-kun: Lance: She did give him that, but I don't think she intended this either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Why...? Arsé-kun: *Lance shrugs* Arsé-kun: Kay: *turning to look over Grif's shoulder* the fuck's labelled Angry Sheepy: Grif: Angra........... Sheepy: Grif: The slime? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! I can't believe your UI spoiled that whole segment!

[miraculousares]

It's been a while since I've analyzed a Miraculous episode but Psycomedian was so good that I had to share

1. Starting off strong with the writers feeding their queer audience this scene.

There's something so casual about the way they talk and how tender they are with each other that just makes me so happy. While I, of course, wish that the writers could make it explicitly stated that they're girlfriends, I appreciate how clear they make it through things like this so that they can still please their queer audience without getting censored.

2. Adrien watching Marientte instead of the comedian Nino's trying to show him is the cutest thing in the world oh my god.

Tell me those aren't heart eyes, I'll wait.

3. I absolutely adore Harry. In my personal opinion, he's one of the most likeable sid characters that Miraculous has had in a really long time. I might make a separate appreciation post just for him but I can't talk about this episode without mentioning this absolute gem of a man.

4. Carrying on my love of Harry, I love the weird uncle energy he has with Marinette. I have to admit, I'm a sucker for that dynamic, especially within this show. First we had it with Jagged Stone and now now Harry Clown and I'm never disappointed. He's so sweet and gentle with her, even teasing her about her crush and helping her out with him. I really hope we get to see more of this relationship in the future.

5. I know we're all talking about the still-secretly-pining-for-eachother ex energy between "Gaby" and Harry but I wanna talk about it too because gjejfjejdjdnsjshfjeksfjeje

Again, I'll probably make a separate post talking about this in more detail and why there is no doubt in my mind that there is something between these two but for now, I just want to say how much I absolutely love this. Harry is so confident around Gabriel and literally not intimidated at all by him. He sees right through the emotionless front "Gaby" puts up. Also, I know that nobody, not even Adrien, could get away with being so casual with him, let alone going as far as to call him "sweetie" and "Gaby," so the fact that Harry does is so hilarious to me.

6. Not much to say for this one but of fucking course Gabriel designed the French fry costume.

8. Again, not much to say about this but I cannot get over this part. Chat looks like he is having the time of his life painting that helmet. He's straight up vibing. Also I think it's so funny because there is absolutely 0 reason he needed to paint it like a lucky charm. I can understand painting the visor to block Psycomedian's power, but he did not need to paint the full helmet, especially with how much detail he put into it. I choose to believe that he was just enjoying himself and knew that Feralbug was doing just find out there throwing hands.

9. The entirety of feralbug had me absolutely laughing my ass off, seeing her just go apeshit over the most random things. But in addition to the peak comedy of that, I also love how patient Chat was with her and how he knew how to handle her/calm her down.

10. THIS.

This line is probably the most important line I've seen in canon in terms of their relationship, platonic or otherwise. He doesn't need Marinette to put on a whole stand up comedy show to make him laugh, just her natural sense of humor is perfect for him and that's so sweet.

My final thoughts on this episode is that I think it is easily one of my favorite episodes of the entire series and especially this season. Season 4 has been absolutely incredible in dealing with a lot more serious and mature emotions and plot lines in a way that I never expected from Miraculous and it's been incredible. However, everyone needs a breather and a laugh, a chance to not have to take the show so seriously and be able to just enjoy it. I'm glad that we got that with Psycomedian. I'm so excited to see what else Miraculous has in store for us. I also have a lot more that I wanted to talk l about with this episode that I'll make separate posts for either because I wanted to go more in depth about a topic or because I wanted to keep this post more light hearted so I am by no means done talking about this episode.

[stxleslyds]

MY TOUGHTS ON THE END OF RED HOOD BY CHIP ZDARSKY.

Dishonour! Dishonour on you, dishonour on your cow! 

Well Jason Nation, it happened again, fanon wins over canon. The amount of bullshit that DC made Zdarsky write in this issue is insane, I have never seen this many fanfiction tropes shoved in a single issue in my life.

This book has been a constant insult to Jason’s character and his Red Hood “persona” since the very first issue but I never thought it would end this badly. It’s incredibly sad.

I will go ahead and say it, this tumblr and this post is not “Batfamily” friendly and it definitely isn’t fanon friendly when it comes to Jason Todd.

Fanon is destroying canon for Jason Todd. I am sorry but that’s how I see it, fanon doesn’t belong in canon, I would never get tired of saying that. But here is the thing, DC latches on to Jason’s fanon version because it fits their narrative of “the Batman is all that is right and all must follow his rules or they shall disappear”.

DC has been dying to make Jason bland and flavourless just like Batman. And now here it finally is.

Let’s be honest the story in this book, the new drug, Cheer, Tyler and his mom, none of that shaped this story, none of those things were the support beams for it. It was all about this never ending “daddy issues” thing that DC pretends is going on between Jason and Bruce.

It was all about those two fighting because they “think differently” so in the end they can push Jason towards the “no killing rule” being also the Red Hood’s modus operandi.

Its utter bullshit.

From the moment that Jason had to put a bat suit on I knew that this was going to be a mess. Luckily like I predicted they didn’t make a big deal out of him wearing it but the “Jason admires Batman” feeling was very present in the issue.

I will not talk about how easy it was for that one thug to land a punch on Jason while he was distracted and I will also not talk about Jason being a dumbass for not securing his dumb mask better when he knew the fight will involve gases. I will not talk about it.

Anyway, let’s talk about the Cheer Gas induced illusion, shall we?

In Jason’s illusion he finds Bruce at the manor looking at the picture of Joker’s death (?) and even though that is strange what Bruce says next is even weirder, he says this: “I did it. He was the last one, but I did it…Joker is dead. I am done.”

Now what the hell was that? This is Jason’s illusion, and by the looks of it in his illusion Bruce has killed every baddie in Gotham and left the Joker for last? Am I reading that right? Is this this a joke?

I understand that this is an illusion so the gas is making “real” things that Jason probably doesn’t know he wants, like wanting Bruce to go on a killing spree, which Jason never wanted because he said it himself, do you guys remember the iconic “I’m not talking about killing Cobblepot and Scarecrow or Clayface. Not Riddler or Dent…I’m talking about HIM. Just him.” Because I remember and it’s so important to Jason’s character, Jason never wanted Bruce to go on a killing spree, he wanted Bruce to kill the clown who had killed him when he was only fifteen. Is that so hard to remember DC?

And then it gets worse! Since WHEN has Jason wanted a perfect family life with the people that he has tried to kill, harm or looked down to? Why is “being with a bunch of people who NEVER get together for anything other than “help” the Bat in a fight against a fucking clown” the idea of happiness to Jason? Has this man ever interacted with any of these people in a positive way without the intrusion of a Batman/Robin event in the way? I will give you the answer, it’s no, the answer is no.

Jason Todd doesn’t care for your “Batfamily” bullshit DC, why would it matter to him? Because he was Robin? He was killed by the Joker when he was Robin, and he was killed because the man in charge of him didn’t pay enough attention! Jason Todd who was written as Dick Grayson’s number one hater for so long (and fandom loves that) is now having an illusion where he enjoys happy times with him along the others? Cass and Stephanie? What? Am I missing something, is this actually AO3, is this fanfiction?

I think Zdarsky got confused, this illusion is what would happen if Jason were dosed with fear gas. That must be it, I solved it everyone! Zdarsky just got confused by his own writing!

I wish.

Let’s go back to the sad reality, Jason has a moment in which he actually puts all his training in motion and shakes of the gas’s grasp on him. He does that but he is grabbed by so many people (who are this people?) and he is unarmed and I believe that’s the only reason why Cheer is still alive after saying that he has someone in Tyler’s mom’s hospital room ready to kill her if he doesn’t join him.

(If this were the real Jason, Cheer would have dropped dead instantly.)

But this is not the real Jason and this is not a *real* comic, it’s fanfiction! So just like that time in Batman #100 when Dick was fighting alone as Nightwing (for the first time since his “family” left him alone after losing his memories) the rest of the “family” shows up to fight Cheer and four random thugs.

Yep, its like the MCU had considered having Cap say “Avengers Assemble” when they were fighting a couple of robots instead of Thanos.

What a mess.

Also having Jason say, in real life (not illusion world), “You know what happiness is? It’s knowing that others have your back.” about this group of people is the perfect recipe for a big OOC moment for absolutely everyone. I cannot believe they have dragged Jason back to this awful concept and that they have sank him so low. It’s quite honestly, disgusting.

But the horrors don’t end there, we have a wonderful moment after Jason gives Batman the antidote, Jason stops Batman from punching the living shit out of Cheer. Because I am not stupid. There is no way in the world that you can convince me that Jason just stopped Batman from killing Cheer.

How incredibly delusional do you have to be to write Batman finally killing someone and that someone being Cheer, a guy that was introduced to comics two months ago?

Yes, later its said that between the gas and the antidote Bruce was a little too crazy and couldn’t help himself BUT I call bullshit once more, because Bruce has gone completely bat-shit-crazy on people before! I remember two recent instances in which that happened. Batman #57 in which Bruce beats the living shit out of KGBeast after he shot Dick. And the other one is Batman beating up Jason more brutally than he ever beat up Joker in RHatO #25.

DC cannot fuck with me. I might has bought this digital comic for 8 dollars but I am not buying that bullshit.

ALSO, there was no need for Zdarsky to do Jason as dirty as he did him when he made him say: “If you are going to come down from mount judgement to MY level for once… he’s not the guy to do it for.”

Zdarsky, why did you write a Red Hood story when you hate Red Hood? Couldn’t you have just told DC that you wanted to write a love letter to Batman? Once again, I am reading a Red Hood story for RED HOOD content not Batman content. Is it really that hard? I bet that if Zdarsky had asked DC to let him write a Batman story they would have said yes, there are like 20 Batman stories, they wouldn’t say no to one more!

Can you tell I am mad? And salty?

This post is so long and so full of anger, I am truly sorry for that but I have to write these feelings down or I would explode. And I am not even done, our suffering, Jason Nation, continues.

But first a little break from the pain, Tyler. Thank you after all the pain this book has given me Tyler is back and just like I predicted his mom is fine and he will stay with her, they both have been given a place and money to rebuild their life (not given by Jason nor Dick but I was close enough). The only happy ending that Tyler could have, he had and I am thankful for that, we even got a little adorable moment between the Red Hood and the Blue Hood.

I am weak for these little glimpses of a good Jason take in the middle of an incredibly awful/OOC story. And just to live in my own fantasy world I will headcanon that Jason promised himself to keep an eye out for Tyler and his mom. He would have wanted to know about their life and that they are still out of trouble.

Jason is a good man, don’t you forget that DC, I don’t care how much you twist it. Jason killing Tyler’s dad wasn’t a horrible act, it was fair game. That man was a horrible person, he drugged his child and made his wife (?) almost overdose. You never gave context as to why that man was working as a drug dealer but you told us those things so Jason should never feel like he did something wrong. As far as we know, Tyler and his mom are better off without him.

Having said that, lets go back to the pain of what is reading a Red Hood story.

“I’m giving up the guns.”

You know what, fine, as long as DC doesn’t pull another “I will stop being Red Hood for you Barbara” I will be fine. He can kill people with other things, he used to have the all-blades, he had normal swords and he had crowbars.

I will sacrifice Jason looking hot as hell when he pulls out his guns just to keep him as the Red Hood, all DC has to do is not give him that stupid… bat… symbol… oh no…. oh my god I can feel it… that thing, that horrible thing is making a comeback! NO!

Jason and Bruce’s talk is basic and it doesn’t do anything for anyone, in the end saying that Jason isn’t changing his ways for Bruce but that he is doing it for himself is more of the same. We know he is doing it for Bruce and we know DC is doing it because they cannot handle good, complex and interesting characters. We know that and sadly we have to live with it.

About Bruce’s illusion, well, Bruce has said that he wanted to kill the clown for a very long time and in the King run it was basically said that if Bruce were to be happy then the idea of Batman would die.

Listen, between me and you, sometimes I think that the Joker isn’t that big of a problem for Gotham as a whole, that clown has beef with the Bat and no one else. If Bruce has killed the Joker Jason would have been happy with Bruce all those years ago but killing the Joker wouldn’t make Gotham a safe place and any of his kids happier.

Bruce needs to care for his children, but he won’t do that, he has Dick for that. Taking care and raising Damian? No, thank you, I will not do that. Giving a shit about my son who lost all his memories and is alone? No thank you, I won’t do that and then I will lie about having watched him over. Tim? Oh, never heard of him, sorry.

The last page of this story is the one of Jason arriving home and finding a new suit that Bruce gave him with the bat symbol on it. That symbol that he had ripped off of Jason’s beat up body back in RHatO #25 (nope, I am not letting that one go).

Oh, and Bruce leaving that suit in Jason’s home gives me the same exact vibes as the time that Bruce was like “Long overdue. This is where you belong. As one of us. One of the family” in Nightwing #74 a second after Dick had regained his memories.

I don’t know why but they make him sound incredibly cold and like these people are just his pawns that he needs to rope back in every time they get away from him. It’s very disturbing.

Anyway, that’s all from me, I obviously LOVED this book, best Jason Todd/Red Hood characterisation ever! 11/10 would recommend to everyone including my enemies!

🙃

[ruki--mukami]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAS ♥ ♥ ♥

Yeah we've been talking but I want to wish you a happy birthday anyway, in front of Ruki and everything (?)

I'll be brief because my brain power is now at -44%. Rukijas gift too strong

I just want to tell you that I love you, I immensely appreciate you and cherish everything we do or talk about together. You've grown a lot since I've met you (and it wasn't that long ago) and you continue to do so everyday, I'm so sO SO proud of you. You've brought a lot of happy and fun moments to many here, myself included, and I'm extremely thankful. Knowing you a little more day by day is so gratifying and I can't be more happy to be your friend. Whether it's chatting about life, about DL, about simp material (?) or just plain nonsense, it's always the best. Thank you for being so cool and supportive, you're such a great, talented person overall and I admire and simp for you very much 🛐

My gift will come soon, hopefully (?) Though I already showed you sneak peeks 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

I unpacked the party hat and the clown nose again for this moment basically I can't be serious for too long

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAS ♥ While my gift gets done, hand it marriage with a lowly simp?💍

Make way, Ruki, Jax if coming 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

🧩 JGFHGFKG ROX, COME HERE, YOU 💖💖💖💖💖

Ooh, so scandalous. Saying all these bold things in front of my man. Kidding.

Your birthday message really warmed my heart, each and every word of it, omg. T_T I feel so lucky and fortunate to have such an amazing friend like you, Rox. Thank you for coming into my life. I was only able to grow so much because you were and still are a dear friend at my side. And I'm not the only one who did some growing either. I think it's safe to say we both went through some pretty drastic changes over these last 8-9 months. Wow, I cannot believe it's been that long… All of that time seems to have gone by so quickly. They say time speeds by you when you're having fun, and each and every day with you, Rox, has been an absolute blast. No matter what we chat about, it's always most enjoyable for me. 💖 It's still crazy for me to think that Scarlett is probably the earliest OC I've interacted with who has still stayed with me for this long, and that is so incredibly special to me. If you simp for me, then the simpery is mutual. 😤

Also, I'm so stoked for this gift, I'm gonna be screaming without the S as soon as I see it.

OF COURSE I'LL MARRY YOU, I'M ABOUT TO PUT A CANDY RING ON ALL TEN OF YOUR FINGERS. STEP ASIDE, ROOKS, IT'S TIME FOR JAX TO SHINE. 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ 🧩

[knight-queen]

Lunatic Parade Subaru Sakamaki–⁠ (Chapter 2)

[Chapter 1]

Place: ??? (BG black)

Yui: (nng…)

(Huh, what time is it…?)

(Last night, I was having difficulties in sleeping so I couldn’t sleep well…)

(...? Oh no...I can’t move my body…! Bu- but why…!?)

???: ….Zzz

Yui: (Someone...is here...!?)

Place: ホテル•モーントシュタイン  客室 / Hotel • Mortstein,Guest room

Yui: 一Su- Subaru kun!?

(Lemme think? Why’s he sleeping on my bed…!?)

(Could it be I accidentally fell asleep here…? ...Nope, it’s no way…)

Subaru: nnh…

Yui: (Wa- What should I do! He is about to wake up…!?)

*Subaru gets up*

Subaru: ….ah?

Yui: Err...that’s...Good morn- ning?

Subaru: ...Yeah….hm?

That’s, Yo- you!? Uwaa! Why are you here!? *blushing*

Didn’t I warn ye’ not to enter on the other side!?

*Subaru backs off*

Yui: You misunderstood! This is my portion…!

Subaru: Haah!? That’s not一

Yui: Then look! My Rosary is on this bed-side…

Subaru: ……

Yui: (What can I do, he isn’t saying anything…)

*Subaru stops blushing*

Subaru: Oh...I see now...yesterday…

Haah…

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...How’s your health today?

Yui: Eh…? Health? I haven’t felt anything recently though…

Subaru: ...Then, it’s good.

Yui: (Why does that mean…?)

Saying that...why were you sleeping on my bed-part…?

Subaru: ...kh...that’s ‘cuz…*blushing*

...Shuddup! That doesn’t even matter!

Yui: Eeh...but I’m curious…

(Because...he strictly prohibited not to enter on the other side…)

Subaru: ……

Yui: ……

Subaru: ...Tch! Aaah, damn it!

Got it, if you’ll be satisfied if I say it, then I’ll!!

...You’re...having a nightmare last night.

Yui: Eh…?

Subaru: When I was sleeping on my side, I heard you making painful noises and...

That’s why...I go there to check out your state.

...Was it my bad?

Yui: Oh…

(Last night, it wasn’t a dream that I felt my chest hurt…)

(Because of that, Subaru kun has...slept…)

You were worried for me, right?

Subaru: Wha...I didn’t really worry or something like…*blushing*

Yui: Fufu…

Subaru: Shit, don’t laugh!

*Screen shakes + Subaru gets closer*

Yui: Kyaa…!?

Don’t pull off my arm so suddenly…!

Subaru: Shuddup! I’m gonna sleep twice.

Yui: Eeeh…!?

Subaru: Just be quiet and embrace me…!

*Hugs her tighter*

Yui: (Oh come on. We must have to get up by right now...but…)

(Last night, I am sure he had been concerned for my health all the time…)

(Just a little bit...should be fine, no?)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

Yui: The antique art dealer that you’ve mentioned yesterday...do you know where he is?

Subaru: Yeah...but saying the truth, I don’t wanna drag myself near him…

Yui: Is he such a weird person…?

Subaru: Weird you say...He’s a narrow-minded guy who always comes up with a disagreement for some reasons.

Even for the father, he is a damn crap old-uncle who always shows-off around. 

Yui: You didn’t have to explain it in such a cruel manner…

Subaru: Hmph…

Subaru: However...this old uncle is the only guy who can resist my father. 

By putting it that way, that guy is incredible, I think.

Yui: Oh...I see now…

(The one who can resist Karl-Heinz san...then he should be a pretty amazing right…)

(I wonder what kind of person he is…)

Subaru: I am sure he lives around this area…

Oh, here it is...let’s enter.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/ アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一 Oi, Ye’ here?

Antique Art Dealer: Hmm…?

Ooh! You’re the youngest kid of the Sakamaki.

Yui: (This person is the artist of the antique…)

Antique Art Dealer: You were so small in the past…

Now you’ve grown up so much, like walking in the future carrying a woman huh.

...I think she looks like a young girl having a plugged-nose though.

Yui: Pu- pugged nose…!?

(How awful…)

Subaru: Tch…

...Don’t care about him that much. I told that he's narrow-minded and has a disagreement with everything, right?

Yui: Y- yes…

Antique Art Dealer: So, what’s up today? For you coming in this place is rather rare.

Did Karl-Heinz assign you any mission or something? Heheh…

Subaru: Ye’ aren’t even close, that old man has no connection with it.

...Do you know that guy called Earl Walter?

Antique Art Dealer: Hm….

Subaru: I had smashed several furnishings of his castle yesterday.

Antique Art Dealer: ...You did?

Subaru: Yeah.

Antique Art Dealer: Ho...you see...the furnishings of the Walter are…

Pfft….Hahahah! Oh my, I see! You breaked them huh!

That was the masterpiece thing you did!

Yaay, you did well, youngest kid of Sakamaki!

Yui: Eh…

(He seems to be laughing so much…!?)

Subaru: O- oi…?

Antique Art Dealer: What are you trying to hide? I strongly hate that guy.

Yui: Is that so…?

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, absolutely. For telling the truth, he has stolen my treasures in the past.

Since then, I just continued hating and hating him…

For this, I become overjoyed hearing this, you know!

Yui: (I get it...so that was the reason…)

Antique Art Deal: I think I can repair the implements in his castle other than the goods in his treasure house.

Subaru: You mean it!?

Yui: That’s a relief….!

Antique Art Deal: Since you had blown up the hell out of that guy then...I shall help you.

Which stuff do you wanna repair?

Yui: A jar, sculpture and a painting…

Antique Art Dealer: I get the point. If that's the case then I can manage somehow I think. Hold on a sec.

*Walks away*

Yui: Looks like at the end we can come up with something, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: Yeah, I believe so…

*Pulling something big*

Antique Art Dealer: I appreciate your waiting. What about this thing?

These things are quite similar with those types of implements, right?

Subaru: Yeah, almost like that.

Yui: Then...if we give these to Earl Walter, he may pardon us…!

Subaru: Yup, we appreciate it. Then We’re takin’ out leav一

Antique Art Dealer: Hold ittt!

*Slaps Subaru*

Subaru: Ouch…! What the hell are ye’ doin’!?

Antique Art Dealer: Who said I’ll do these for free!

Subaru: Haah!? Did you say you’re gonn’ help us out!?

Antique Art Dealer: If you sound like having complaints then I won't hand these over to you.

Subaru: Ghh…

...Oh! Then I am gonna go to the human world and get some money from that old father.

That’s why...let us make an exchange with these.

Antique Art Dealer: Hmph, I don’t even slightly agree that Karl-Heinz will take out money for such things.

Subaru: ….kkh….

Yui: Then...what can we do for the charge…?

Antique Art Dealer: Let’s see…

If you can hand me three things that I’ll order, then I am gonna exchange these things.

Well, if I put in other others, those things should be close to my hand-maid things.

Yui: Hand-maid…

Subaru: Tch….annoying but...that’s the only way.

一一Understood. We’ll get them for you.

Antique Art Dealer: ...Told you, right? Then, let’s tie up our discussions here.

Yui: What should we search to begin with?

Antique Art Dealer: ...The head-mask of a clown. That should be an antique item.

Subaru: HAAH!? Why the heck you need such a thing!?

Antique Art Dealer: That’s because I want that, so you can’t blame it.

If you don’t want to then you don’t have to, ya’ know? Since I am not allowing exchange if so. 

Subaru: ...Told ye’ that I am gonna do it! I’m gonna search for that right away so wait!...What a shit!

Place: サントノレパーク通り /  Saint Honoré Park Street

Yui: It’s much crowded that I’ve thought…

Subaru: Ahh...ear sore…

Yui: (It's a parade after all so we have to endure these…)

一Ah! There is a clown right ahead! I think there’s gonna be a performance onward.

(It was a great decision for visiting the amusement park. Because, after it if we ask about the head-mask to the clown, then一)

Vampire Child A: Oh! It’s a clown! Hurry up and come 一!

Vampire Child B: Hold on一!

Clown A: There, there. Don’t push each other, okay~!

Yui: (Wah, it’s a huge crowd...I can’t get near him at all…)

Subaru: Oi, what are ye’ gonna do? There’re so many kids so we can’t get to him.

Yui: Umm...at this rate, the performance is gonna begin soon…

(What shall we do…)

Clown B: ...What shall we do?

Clown C: I can’t answer even if you ask...it’s a weekend after all…

Yui: (Hm? Over there are…)

Look, the clowns are getting prepared over there. Let’s talk with them.

I think they are having some kind of trouble…

*Walks over there*

Yui: Excuse us…

Clown B: Yes?

Yui: Did something happen? You look somehow troubled…

Clown C: Oh...that’s...the clown who was supposed to play main role in this performance,

Cannot show up for getting an injury…

Vampire Child A: So we can’t start!

Vampire Child B: I am getting sick of waiting!

Yui: (Ah...there children are…)

Clown A: ...Kh, We can’t buy ourselves time anymore! What should we do!?

Yui: Tell us! Is there anything we can do to help you?

Clown B: Eeeh!? But…

Subaru: Ha? Oi, what are ya’ sayi…

Clown C: No...maybe you can. If you lend us a hand in the fountain-show then…

...Certainly...if you do that much then...At this moment, that’s the only way.

Subaru: What’re ye’ thinking? It’s now way...we can help ‘em!

Yui: Sorry for deciding all of these even if you’re refusing to….

But, if we help, then we can have a talk with them as early as possible…

Subaru: ………

Clown A: Can you please do it for us?

Subaru: ...Certainly...we won’t have a delay talking with ‘em if we do so…

...Understood, we’ll do it.

Clown C: That’ll be a great help! But...we’re lacking time so, please get ready right away.

Yui: Yeah…!

*After a moment*

Clown A: Alright, dear people! Thank you so much for your long wait!

Clown B: After a moment, we’re going to show everyone in a fantasy world.

Yui: (Aight...let’s do my best…!)

→Game 

Words Subaru said in the game 一

What're you doing? Get started.

Looks like we’re done.

If you win 一

*Audiences’ claps *

Yui: (Have we done it...perfectly…?)

Vampire Child A: Ohh! Wonderful!

Vampire Child B: The fountain-show was so incredible, right…!

Clown A: Thank you very much! You succeed so well!

Yui: Really….!? We did it, Subaru kun!

*Yui hugs Subaru*

Subaru: Uwaah…!?

*Fades to CG*

Yui: (What a relief...we get that right…!)

Subaru: O- oi! Lemme go!

Yui: Eh?

Vampire Child A: Look! It’s a couple, a couple!!

Vampire Child B: Right~! A lovely-dovely one~!

Yui: ...kh…!

(I was so happy that I….!)

Yui: Ah, Subaru kun, that’s...err, I didn’t mean to do it…!

Vampire Child B: Couple~! Couple~!

Subaru: Tch…! Ya’ll are being damn noisy!

Vampire Child A: Uwaa! We got him mad! Let’s escape!!

*Run*

Subaru: Fuck…!

Yui: (Uuh...and also, what was I doing….so embarrassing….!)

*CG Fades*

Yui: S- sorry, I did something weird so suddenly…!

Subaru: Geez…

Clown C: Phew, thanks to you two, the show has ended up smoothly.

Furthermore, you absolutely deserve larger congrats than I’d expected!

Clown B: Honestly, thank you a lot!

Yui: (I’m glad that we’ve come out handy to them.)

Clown A: 一Once again, we’re expressing our gratefulness for supporting us.

Clown B: As a thank you, please recommend to us what can we give you as a present.

Yui: Err...Actually, if you could manage us a thing that we have been searching…

Subaru: 一 This one. Can you recall seeing something like this?

Clown C: This is…

Yui: (Ah...that photo was…)

Subaru: It’s a head-mask used by a clown. If you have it, then please give it to us.

Clown A: Oh...it looks like an old-modeled head-mask. I hope it is left out in the warehouse...

However, you have helped us so much after all, so we’ll search up the warehouse for you.

Yui: You mean it!? Thank you…!

Clown A: Then, we’re gonna go there to search….can we request you to wait here for a while?

Yui: We’re counting on you!

*Goes away*

Yui: That’s good right, Subaru kun…!

Subaru: If they find it, then yes…

Yui: (...Looks like we’re having a freetime. What can we do…)

Oh...tell me Subaru kun. We’re having some time so let’s play something cool?

Subaru: Huh?

Yui: It’s boring if we just wait here plus…

Subaru: ...What do you wanna ride?

Yui: Err...let’s see….Oh, what about Merry-Go-Round?

Subaru: HAAAH!? Which fool is gonna ride such a childish thing!?

Yui: Ah…

(So we can’t huh...I really wanted to ride something together…)

Subaru: ……..

Tch…

*Walks away*

Yui: Subaru kun…?

Subaru: ...What’re ye’ standing like a statue for? Hurry up.

Yui: Eh...hurry up but why…

Subaru: Huh...you wanna ride, no? Come along before I change my mood to ride.

Yui: ...Mhm!

*After a while*

Yui: Haa, it was fun…!

Subaru: Which side was fun….such stuff was just embarrassing! *blushing*

For starters...You ended up choosing that horse-drawn vehicle…

For making me ride on like a clerk...of that horse…!

If ye’ make me do so next time, then I’ll blow ye’ up…!

Yui: (Certainly it was embarrassing of two of us riding together but…)

I enjoyed riding with you, thank you for that.

Subaru: …ngh…*blushed*

Well...if you’d enjoyed it then it’s okay but….I won’t gonn’ face such a ride next time!

Clown A: 一Sorry for making you wait!

Yui: Oh, you are…

Subaru: You’ve found that?

Clown A: It was...expectedly way much old, so it wasn’t left in our warehouse.

Subaru: Haah!?

Yui: S- such…!

Clown A: However, if I take the correct conjecture then you may find it in the dress shop of this town.

Yui: Dress shop…

(Then we should go there I think.)

Thanks a lot for giving us valuable information. We’re going to that shop then.

Clown A: Yup. Take care…!

Place: Glimmer Street, Aizen back street

Subaru: 一Where can we find that dress shop?

Yui: Umm...according to the map we received earlier, that should be around here.

Right ahead of that crowd, I guess…?

Subaru: Crowd….I’m sick of that.

Yui: Ahaha, you’re right…

(By the way, I wonder if it’s just my imagination to have a bad feeling about it…)

Place: Dress Shop /ドレスショップ

Yui: ………

Subaru: ………

Why is it crowded here too…!

Yui: Y- yes…

(The bad-feeling that I was having was true after all…!)

Umm...excuse me. Anything going on here?

Vampire Woman A: Yeah, there’s going to be a fashion show.

Yui: Fashion show!?

If the fashion is gonna start then I bet the workers in this shop are busy…

Subaru: Ahh...crowds are annoying too. So, let’s wait until it’s over.

Yui: Right...let’s wait then…

(Fashion show of the Demon World huh, I am bit interested一)

???: 一Ah! Hey you there!

Subaru: Aah?

Yui: (Hm…?)

???: I want you to follow me!

*She pulls Subaru*

Subaru: Aaah? What’s so sudden!?

Dress shop owner: I am the owner of this shop. I’ll explain everything inside that room. Anyway, come!

Subaru: Oi, hold it!

Yui: Ah, wait….!

(What on this earth going on…? I should just follow them…)

Place: Dressing Room / 試着室

Yui: (She has brought us very inside this shop…)

Dress shop owner: My apologies for bringing you here so suddenly but please get changed into this costume.

Subaru: Haah!? You’re doing these so abruptly! Why the heck is going on!

Dress shop owner: ...Right, I was forcing you way much…

For here on, we’re going to perform a fashion show here, however…

It was frustrating that there wasn’t a single model out there to wear my masterpiece costume.

I was able to find substitutes from the time being but none of them were perfectly suitable.

However, in the meantime you show up! You’re an ideal model for this.

Yui: (Subaru kun….a model…)

Subaru: Stop fussing around! Who’s gonna do such a shit!

Dress shop owner: No refusal! I’ll make you to be the model by any means!

I bet you’re gonna be pleased with the costume that I created.

Subaru: Hmph, what an absurd one. Oi, we’re going back.

Yui: Ah, but….

(We must have to ask them about that head-mask…)

(Above that…)

*BGM stops*

(I am very interested in seeing Subaru kun participating in the fashion show…!)

Tell me, Subaru kun...it’s a great offer so please participate in it?

Subaru: AAAAH!? You’re also saying these!?

Yui: ….Please do!

Plus...please lend me your ear a bit?

*Subaru gets closer + Yui whispers*

Yui: You see, it may be the right chance for us to ask them about the head-mask…!

Subaru: ...gh…

Dress shop owner: I have no clue what you’re mumbling for…

But I am begging you too. Because you can be the supreme model for sure.

Subaru: ………

….Lend that thing. I’m gonna wear it.

*Starts putting on*

Yui: Subaru kun…!

Dress shop owner: Woo! Thanks a lot! Then come here please!

Yui: (I am looking forward to the upcoming…!)

Place: Glimmer Street  Main street / グリンマーストリート 表通り

*Shutter sounds of taking photos*

Yui: (Every single model has so cool styles. I can’t help but to admire them…)

(Subaru kun’s turn hasn’t come yet…)

Dress shop owner: Alright, so our last display will be this costume of our pride!

Yui: (Ah, he shows up…!)

*Louder Applause + Shutters* 

Monologue一

The appearance of Subaru who modelled was looking so cool that anyone’d get caught in his enchantment.

...It was rather a displeasing mood for me though.

He was in an unusual appearance or for something else, I was feeling like he was refreshed.

The shop-owner who stood by this Subaru kun 一一

She is so beautiful too.

I was just curious that...two of them who were getting captured in photos taken by others, what conversations they were having while having short distance in between them.

End of Monologue

*Shutters*

Dress shop owner: The visitors are congrating us so much…!

Come on, you also shake your hand with these audiences.

*Swats her hand*

Subaru: 一Don’t you freely touch my hand.

||気安い means actually friendly or familliarly. However, I thought ‘freely’ would go smoothly with the sentence. However, the more literal concept would be “Don’t touch my hand treating so friendly / familiar with me.

Yui: (Ah…! Subaru kun just shook off the shop-owner’s hand.)

Subaru: I’m engaged. Hand-shake with someone else.

||Spoilers! 予約済み means engage / reservation. I am pretty much sure he meant engaged. Because it reflects a clue about ‘engaging’ to the dress-shop owner. :p But some translators may also translate like “I am reserved here. Touch other else” x’D However it would sound weird or logicless since ‘reservation’ has nothing to do with ‘touching hand’. The next sentence, it makes it more obvious :’)

Dress shop owner: Oh my…

...Fufu, it’s that girl over there huh.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: (I hope he won’t fight over this time…)

*After a moment*

Yui: 一Subaru kun!

Subaru: ...Oh, you come huh.

Yui: Oh...you have got back to normal appearance huh.

Subaru: Absolutely! Who’d wear that damn cloth for a long time.

Yui: (I want to...tell him about my impressions of that show...How should I describe that?)

→Selection

面白かった / You looked interesting

かっこよかった / You looked cool (+correct)

Yui: Subaru kun, you looked so cool!

Subaru: I- is that so? I haven’t really done anything. *flushed*

Yui: It’s not like that. That costume also suited you pretty well and…!

Subaru: ...Thanks.

Dress shop owner: Thanks for the earlier. For you, we really hit a huge profit.

Subaru: I’d acted just as you said. This time, listen to our request.

Dress shop owner: What is it? It will be a pleasure to help you with anything I can.

Subaru: ...Have you seen something similar to this photo? We’re searching for that.

Dress shop owner: ...Oh, it’s inside our warehouse. I’m going to bring that so wait please.

*After a while*

Dress shop owner: 一I think it’s this one.

Yui: Yeah, it is!

Dress shop owner: No one has been using it since it was just left there...You can have it if you need it.

Yui: Thank you so much! We did it, Subaru kun!

Subaru: Hm...I have no clue what he's planning to do with this worn-out thing…

That’s fine. Let’s get back to that old uncle anyways!

Yui: Right. Ah, really thanks a lot!

Dress shop owner: Whether it’s useful to you or not comes first. If it’s possible then stop by here again.

Place: Aizen Stahl, Antique Art Store/アイゼン シュタール古美術商店 

Subaru: 一Here, ye’ haven’t gotten any complaints right!?

Antique Art Dealer: Oooh! This one indeed! I haven’t imagined you’d really give it to me.

Subaru: Geez, my head hasn’t just got that why do ya’ need such a thing.

But...with this we’re done with one of the assignments I hope.

Antique Art Dealer: Yeah, you sure did. I’ll count on you tomorrow as well.

Place: Diamante Fountain / ディアマンテ泉

Subaru: Haah...I’m tired…

Yui: The first day was tough…

Ah, I got churro from the Wagon. Wanna eat?

Subaru: Yeah….mmn…

...The saying that “Sweet things taste more tasty the time you’re tired”, not a lie after all…

Yui: Fufu…

(But, today we really had to face many things.)

(I hope we’ll be able to hold out tomorrow as well…)

Subaru: Don’t make such a depressed face…I’ll be with you.

Yui: Right…!

(That’s true, if Subaru kun’s with me then we’ll be fine…!)

(Alright, let’s do our best tomorrow!)

一The END of Chapter O2

[the-worst-nintendo-player]

My only fear- a short horror story

I wanted to talk about something and get a bit "philosophical" about it.

So let's start by saying that I'm not afraid of many things, in fact, pretty much nothing scares me. I watch lots of horror, especially with my girlfriend, however nothing really manage to scare me. I also tend to not flinch either when there is a jumpscare of any sorts. I am entertained, sometimes I laugh during a movie, but I'm not scared.

Common things that scare me do not scare me either. Spiders? I think most of them are cute honestly. Snakes? I absolutely love them. Clowns? I don't like them 'cause they are boring but they do not scare me. The dark? It's peaceful, I like it. The heights? They might make me my head spin but I'm not afraid of the heights. I bet that when you read the word "philosophy" and then "fear" you imediately assumed this would have been about Death, right? A big ass wall of text about the dude with the hoodie that is gonna take your soul out of your body and about how mysterious and fascinating it is for many reasons, right?

Well Death may have something to do with this but it's not entirely about it. In fact, the Reaper is gonna be just a small fraction of this wall of text, and, at the same time, it will always be there, its presence will be taken for granted by you, the reader, most likely and It will always stand there. However, as I said, this is not about It. It(as I will call Death from now on, It with the capital Letter, just like the famous Clown) will just be a side actor in the show, It will not be the Main Actor, however its role will be important. It won't be Harry Potter in the homonymus series, but It will be Neville. It won't be Frodo or Gandalf in Lord Of the Rings, It will be Pippin.

Hoping you got my point, let's go back to what I was trying to tell you, dear Reader. You see, nobody really knows this but I do have one fear, one single fear that makes me shiver from head to toe every single time I even dare to think about it. Actually you are seing it right now by using the entirety of your view, it doesn't really matter what device you are using to read this. If you are using a phone, it should be on the top left, of you are using a Computer it should be on the bottom right. Perhaps you are not seing it because your brain cannot process it as a fear, but I'm sure you are looking in the right direction. You should be looking at the Clock right now, are you not? And that's it. That is my fear. Time itself.

It terrifies me to think that Time is the only thing that really we, as a race, won't most likely be able to control. You may say "well we cannot control nature either" I agree,however we are finding solutions to it. We learned how to predict many of the things that would have killed milions of people. Hell, we can even predict when a meteor will land on Earth and where! We cannot CONTROL Nature but we can FIGHT it, ya know? But Time? Absolutely not. I remember that the very first interaction I ever had with a timetravel plot was Professor Layton and the Unwound Future. I don't know if Italy, where I live, translated that line correctly but in the beginning of the game Englad's prime minister gives a speech saying

<<humanity made some great steps in its history. We managed to cross seas, sky and even the space. However there is one barrier we never managed to walk through. Time's Barrier.>>

Or something similar.

That always made me think. I always thought how little I was compared to this huge and unstoppable clock that basically controlled the whole Universe itself. I clearly remember shivering to this thought, however this was not what scared me. As a child I believe you cannot really be scared of Time. This fear starts to come to life when you grow up, as you face many deadlines and you always run out of time. As Exams'dates start to approach you, as libera responsibility keep coming towards you, slowly and yet so fast.

It feels like you see someone approaching you walking. You are afraid of them so you start to walk too in their same direction, away from them. Their pace didn't accelerate and yet they still get closer to you.

You start running. You run, you run, you run as if your life depended on it. You keep running, looking towards you in a infinite hallway. You look around. You are going really fast and you don't hear anyone running behind you.

But you hear their step. Slow steps and they always sound closer. You turn around. They are walking and yet they are incredibly close, less than 5 meters away from you. You run as fast as your muscles allows you to, untill they burn because of the stress you are imposing over them. You keep running, running and running for as much as you like. You look behind. They are less than a meter away from you now, staring directly into your eyes as they keep walking, their steps echoing in the hallway and in your head as they keep getting closer and closer to you. Untill they catch you. It doesn't matter your phisical shape, you can be Usain Bolt as well but you cannot escape them. That's how I percieve Time.

[alterofnaught]

What do you think of Kokichi's lies? Do you think he's a compulsive liar or that he just lies for fun/to get what he wants?

Apologies for being extremely long winded about this answer but I have a BS in psych so I love psychoanalyzing characters and my thoughts are kind of complicated on it. Mostly just because I think just calling it compulsive lying often causes people to ignore the purpose and intent behind Kokichi’s actions (which a lot of people do and act like you can’t discern any of his motivations because he’s a “liar” which I disagree with). And I think it also insinuates he only lies because of that and ignore the many reasons he does tell lies. But I do think there's an element of both to it if that makes sense. 

While it's pretty much impossible to tell completely in just the main game canon if his lying is an actual psychological issue solely because there is a genuine reason for lying (like abuse victims and cheaters are not compulsive liars they just end up telling lots of lies because of the situation and you could say that is the case in a killing game as well). But bonus modes pretty much confirm that lying is absolutely part of his personality even without the pressure of the killing game. But the fact he both lies for fun and lies for a reason are what make it hard to pin down. Nor is it something that is readily agreed on as a term at all since it's not in the DSM-V and there are varying definitions for what qualifies as compulsive lying at all. Compulsive lying is also a trait of lots of other disorders but those you literally could not diagnose him with based on how little we get in my opinion (for example ADHD which is a popular headcanon and I think it makes the most sense out of any major diagnosis associated with lying but still not canon in anyway just a pretty good headcanon) . 

Lots of the lies he tells are for a reason which some psychologists say compulsive liars don’t usually have. Compulsive liars lie out of habit. Which he probably does to an extent but there is purpose to most of them. Especially since a majority of his lies are about his talent and organization or the game itself. Which have definite purpose to them. Like the conversation he has during introductions with Shuichi always makes me laugh actually because like… it’s a secret organization of course no one else should know about it and why on earth would a leader of it just tell you about it. Lying about a secret organization just makes sense, that’s kind of the whole point of it being a secret. And while he does tell more outright lies, he isn’t the only one who plays up their talent or lies during his introduction. Being grandiose in a situation where you are with 15 other Ultimates that are also larger than life and have a talent that is supposed to be so incredible the country searched you out for it… really doesn’t necessarily mean he’s trying to play himself up for no reason. It’s a pretty impressive sounding Ultimate Talent for what he really is so it makes sense to lie about honestly. And his exaggerations about his organization seem to reflect more on his childish personality more than some need to sound self-important (since he never seems to be seriously insulted at all when he gets questioned on the matter) as well as him just keeping DICE a secret since it's supposed to be one. Even in UTDP him lying about his organization makes complete sense to me (and some of his Salmon Mode preferred answers actually make it seem like he thinks his lies about DICE are ridiculous/stupid which is why I think he makes it sounds over the top and evil so people just write it off and ignore it which is a solid strategy tbh). 

His lies in trials are usually setups to get others to slip up or drag the discussion to where he wants it to be. It’s excessive but just seems to be more of a comfort zone where he knows how to navigate things like that and at the same time can hide himself as someone who knows too much. Which again there is definite purpose and intent in those lies. 

Purely compulsive liars are not necessarily known for being manipulative or cunning and Kokichi can be both of those things. He does lie for gain and to fulfill his plans which makes it seem to be a bit more than just a compulsive habit. Manipulative behavior is more associated with what some categorize as pathological liars (or no difference but again this isn’t a set standard across psychiatry at all). Pathological liars lie for gain but often have very little empathy. That doesn’t fit Kokichi to me because despite his flaws he is incredibly empathetic. Which is something I’ve definitely seen people not understand about him because people confuse kindness for empathy. Kokichi can be a massive asshole which people equate to not caring about others feelings. Which is sometimes true. But empathy is more about being able to understand other people's feelings which Kokichi actually has a very strong talent for. He recognizes the feelings in his classmates quite well even if he doesn’t approach them kindly. He can tell how Kaede feels, he recognizes Kirumi’s desperation, calls out Himiko, and in that conversation with Miu he fully understands her feelings of wanting to escape. It’s part of what allows him to have Gonta and Kaito go along with his plans, he understands their emotions and can easily tell the way they will act based on them. He isn’t mean because he doesn’t care about others emotions as much as he is mean to get certain emotional reactions (that typically benefit him but also sometimes others or the group as a whole). 

Pathological liars also tend to hate the truth and hate being called out on their lies or just straight up believe their own lies. He also does not seem to hate the truth more just recognizes the truth is not always a good thing. There is no denying he respects the truth since in every trial he absolutely cares they get the right answer (minus the 5th of course). He also uses the truth as a weapon just as much as his lies at times. Like when he pointed out Kaede pushing the group too far or Himiko’s attitude to Tenko. Saying the harsh truths that other people are afraid of saying are just as much part of his arsenal as lies. The comic anthology isn’t canon necessarily but like I did find it interesting that when they were all trying to trick the Monokubs that they had to try and physically stop Kokichi from telling Monotaro (I think) that he was lying. So that definitely makes his lying a bit unique in that he seems to have no problem in calling himself out on lies. Which he does almost constantly in canon and Salmon Mode as well. He is incredibly nonchalant about being called out on lying from others as well. I also don’t think he fully believes his own lies even the one about enjoying himself in the killing game. 

In the bonus modes he lies for fun and because it gets him reactions he wants (it’s not really for personal gain or manipulation in Salmon Mode or UTDP). It still seems very purposeful to me and something he enjoys doing (the line about how he likes lying more when hanging with Shuichi for example or how his conversation with Celestia in UTDP makes it pretty clear he sees lying as a fun game). He hates being bored and loves outwitting people and just playing around to see peoples reactions in general and lies are the perfect tool for that. 

But there are some things I think point to it being a psychological issue still. His line to Kaito before he died about how he had to lie to make it through the game really makes me feel like there is more to it than just him messing around. It's definitely not just a tool for him to use others but one he uses as a coping mechanism for himself. And Keebo’s conversation with him in UTDP about how his lies keep people at a distance adds credence to the idea that he does use his lies to shield himself from other people in any kind of situation. So I also think it isn’t just for fun or to get what he wants but for his own benefit as well. But it’s not something he feels he needs to change as we can see in his Harmonious Heart answers or even his spiel about lying in the Ch4 trial- he sees it as a part of him. 

While he doesn’t ever get much of a detailed backstory in canon. He does have that line to Kaito about how they have very different backgrounds which I feel heavily implies that whatever his background was was lying made it easier. I don’t necessarily think he had a “sad traumatic backstory that explains away his shitty behavior” I do think it's at least implied he grew up in an environment where lying was beneficial. And Danganronpa making such a deliberate reference to a TV show about orphans with a clown motif with DICE makes it seem like him being an orphan is hardly a large leap. He also jokes that he wouldn’t be missed a few times which again is nothing definitive but hints that he doesn’t necessarily have a background of super normal/healthy relationships (DICE is also insinuated to be essentially a found family for him which isn’t a typical situation for most people). 

So I guess part of the reason I’m reluctant to just call it compulsive is because that insinuates it's uncontrollable and I don’t know if there is evidence that he simply cannot handle things any other way. His harmonious heart says he could but doesn’t want to. But there is definitely enough there I think to say that it absolutely is a defense/coping mechanism that he uses to his advantage in addition to just enjoying lying because it's a fun game to him. But also he says he hates liars and lies so often it makes me feel like he recognizes lying can absolutely be a bad thing and that he is self-aware. 

So my TLDR answer is kind of both? Like he definitely lies a lot of the time for his own gain and childish enjoyment of it but also uses them to hide his true self and intentions as well as shelter his own emotions. And it’s not necessarily the healthiest thing for him or people around him so I don’t think it should be written off as a non-issue at all. But the term compulsive liar and how it's typically defined doesn’t really cover his super complicated relationship with lies for me. Because in the end he was written to be “the embodiment of a lie” so it makes sense his lies have multiple and complicated reasonings behind them. I mostly shy away from calling it compulsive because of the insinuations that it is “out-of control” and I don’t necessarily think that's the case. Compulsive lying is just too loaded of a term without a clear agreed upon definition for me to like using (even though I don’t necessarily think its wrong to say it could be classified as such). I personally feel like calling it a coping strategy that can be maladaptive fits better. I don’t think his lying is always inherently a bad thing but there is no denying its not the best thing either. He does it because he both wants to and needs to and feels justified in it as well which is why I wouldn’t categorize it as something he has no control over. (End of excessive rambling because I could go on about how blurry the line is between a behavoir like lying being “normal” and harmful because that is a whole other thing I could go on about)

[misterbitches]

hi! this is long as shit i’m sorry. i hope it makes sense. i ahve adhd and like 5 million learning disorders so this is just word vomit cos there’s so many words in my brain. my b.

i’ve had such a tough day so thank you for replying and sharing! @yeedak​ 

i was thinking about what i wrote and i meant to clarify that as well. some cases are fine for both parties and it’s not like you weren’t consenting and it seems like you were happy! same with my friend who was dating a 20 yr old. if they’re happy you know i’ll clown on ‘em but yea. so for anyone that sees these posts your relationship with your partner who is older or whatever. i’m some dumb girl on the internet okay. ill side eye older ppl tho

i think a lot of people feel the same way you do now (me included.) it feels really good at the time but alter we can see the dynamics playing out. i’m 29 now and i think aging is just such a huge process. it’s wild how you at 31 are a totally different person, right?

and the US racism is probably some of the worst ever in its iteration because of slavery which started from europe etc but USA is so fucking unique bc of columbus bringing slaves here and displacing indigenous peoples or hispanola and because america is so influential the way it views race, particularly with black people as objects, has so deeply permeated into the current historical psyche globally. it’s fascinating to track how necessary anti blackness is to the flourishing of america but also the world at this point. also want to point out how fuckign scary sinophobia is here especially for covid. one is a straight historical line (black ppl + the US) and the other had to be manufactured and to continue to exploit the non-white americans and keep antiblackness in tact.i could go on about this all day. the pain of this place is immense.yet as bad as it is here, this is still the only place i truly feel safe as a black person. because of the unique experience we have in america and through the diaspora especially because we are veyr much ocncentrated here. it would be nice to like move to norway and have some alleviation financially or get free healthcare it’s just not feasible if no one looks like me. it’s fucking tough. 

i hope you don’t hate it here though and people treat you with respect. but as you know being a woman and jewish and an immigrant....shit is tough. the USA is a hellhole. :( america is so deeply tainted and desperately bad because it was founded on strife and blood and there’s no way to reverse that and what this country did in turn when it gained enough power and could capitalize off of the colonial forefathers. this is why we hsould all luv revolution!!!

HOWMEVERRRR 

boy oh boy oh BOY OH BOYYYYYYYY. well wlecome to the world of BL lmao especially as an adult with some obviously deep perspective just given your background. it is a fucking mess and it’s a hard mess to like but it pulls you in. i approach it like i do with soap operas since these are essentially telenovelas, you know? just like the drama at a billion. but the tricky part of that is like....what parts of it do we understand for critiquing? because so many of the shows are so bad at being like good pieces of things to look at just production wise and story wise. but i feel like these shows ask us to take them seriously, so why shouldn’t we take the content seriously? and this is being primarily peddled to young girls. 

i bring this up often but i read this thing about yaoi and the interest younger women/girls have in BL and its fascination with pederasty essentially. this component i think is key when we talk about who gets affected by these things the most. society in general is bad 4 girls bla bla we know lmao but in “more sexually conservative” societies it may be harder for these girls to feel safe even expressing normal emotions romantically and sexually and particularly with guys. some people hypothesized, and i think i agree with this hypothesis, that they can live through the casualness of BL. they don’t feel threatened because they can put themselves into the shoes of the other character. oftentimes, the more feminine or the younger. this was in conjunction with the age gap aspect (they say pederasty as well because there’s unethical age gaps that r gross and that is indeed what we would at least call a touch of sexual abuse if people dont feel like calling it an obsession with youth and power and uhhh young ppl and perhaps kids) where maybe girls could see themselves in these situations as the person being saved, loved, taken care of, and sadly also sexually active and penetrated. 

i think that’s just one aspect of it but i do think there’s validity in who gravitates towards it. i cannot imagine seeing this stuff and not getting enough information as a young kid, i sure as fuck know i didn’t!, and seeing these things and you look at it with 0 critique because you’re young and you may have no interest in it or you simply cannot understand what is wrong. no one is teaching you these things and these shows confirm it. and it is wild how intrinsic patriarchy is to BL although in its existence it also can’t be in line with patriarchy given the nature of two [cis] men!

it begs the question about the replacement aspect. is it just so girls can put themselves in these characters shoes? if so then that means we believe that gender is so interchangeable within our relationships and interactions and that doesn’t seem right. there’s more to lgbtq+ than just existing; it’s finding ways to communicate, finding a family, safety, your people, being a free person. there’s a lot to gain and a lot a lot to lose. and a gay man is also not a woman because those are also two distinct experiences.  especially in societies that have a more hidden aspect to sexuality (idk how to word this bc the BL industry would NEVER survive in america but in a way there’s a more “progressive” look at homosexuality but it’s still fucked up because we live in a Society, you know? at the same time look at what we are doing to trans kids. literally waging war so it’s bonkers how we all collectively have some real progress happening but at the same time not at all. the concept of ‘ladyboys’ and the frequency we see trans people in thai shows is wild and something that we absolutely do not see here in the US. still, none of these groups feel safe or are getting better material conditions in either place. we just show the ways we can try and tolerate oppression witout eliminating it imo)

to me it is clear: it’s money. which most things exist to make money so. but also who is the audience for these shows? and they have to market towards them. all that said all hope is not lost there are some decent shows. it’s just like regular media on TV though where it’s so fucking saturated as an industry that it’s literally sifting through garbage. and there are some days when you can handle the trash and others where it really fucking hurts to watch the violence, the rape, the manipulation, the violations, the stupid messaging. i have never seen more people trying to do mental gymnastics and seeing if things were “technically rape” than in teh BL fandom and that is so fucking sad.

i came into these shows at 28 with almost 0 clue of what as media BL was like esp as media that countries can use as soft power with the revenue. but i realize like...i’m 29 now and so many people don’t have a sizeable, though not huge, amount of life experience. and i wonder for people on the internet who are usually searching for something if they spend so much time on it like what a 15 year old girl thinks. what a 20 year old girl thinks. 

it is incredibly problematic and so awful but there’s also some rewards. if you haven’t i would definitely watch i told sunsset about you which i don’t think i’m going to finish and i doubt i’ll watch the second installment (watch this be a lie) but when i say some fucking impeccable storytelling and art? phew. now that is a fucking piece of media that works. it takes from moonlight heavily and you can see like...the artistic dedication is there and the story makes its world and sets up its stakes extremely well. 

i think because this is marketed towards much younger people too they know they dont have to try as hard. but they SHOULD because then you can have a fucking masterpiece like that. i think even this prolific gay thai filmmaker (who is like solidly against the government) who is so respected (and who i like a lot! if u wanna know i can tell u lmao but the films are very uhhhhhhhh “artsy”) would like i told sunset about you. i wish more people had budget like that and also just cared about the stories. it’s the fucking magic of art to figure out what you can do but there is very little incentive honestly. idk i am very pessimistic. there are days when it’s really a great pick me up and distraction but it is never a place i would love for to feel seen or heard but i’m more of the mind of i never trust the mainstream until they prove me wrong ;) 

or i never trust the mainstream and i still buy into it anyway and then cry when i don’t like what i see adn i yell “BOO GET OFF THE STAGE!” when an old man won’t leave a teenager alone

[seerofmike]

i feel like a huge portion of kpop fans are gay fetishists attracted to the idea of quote unquote feminine men and thats why theres so much bullshit

YES okay. okay let me rant for a minute. let me preface this by saying i am NOT a kpop shipper at ALL. this is going to be long so i’ll put it under a’ ‘read more’ because i’ve been holding it in for TWO FUCKING YEARS BABY!

being mlm in boygroup kpop fandom is literally so exhausting. 99% of the people who ship real life human men from boygroups are fetishists and i will tell u why

obviously we all know of a ship in a fandom where the characters' personalities are twisted to fit the heteronormative view of "top" and "bottom" --one character is hypermasculine (top) and the other one is feminine (bottom). there are typical traits associated with both. the ‘top’ is scary or mean or angry or serious while the ‘bottom’ is emotional or bubbly or shy. while this is egregious, at least its fictional characters. their personalities can be simplified or exaggerated and it doesnt cause any real life harm.

im going to define what i think of as a fetishist: a non-mlm person who overly sexualizes gay men/men they think are gay/gay ships, and forces them into heteronormative roles for their own pleasure. its not even limited to cishet women. plenty of non-mlm lgbt people do this too and its like disheartening. so anyways

enter the kpop fandom

i may be incredibly biased here because one of the most affected members [of bts] is my favorite kpop boy, but oh god is the ‘personality change/simplification’ thing AWFUL here. i do not go out of my way to find fanart or see fanfic threads, but being in the bts fandom, u will inevitably see it and i REALLY wish i didnt

so anyways. my favorite boy ever is hoseok. he is sweet and hardworking and very passionate about dance and he can be serious when needed, but ultimately he tries to be very lighthearted and will consistently laugh or make jokes or do something funny when the other members feel uncomfortable or awkward (mostly during english-speaking interviews). he kisses the members on the cheek a lot/hugs them a lot/cuddles them a lot [this is important for later okay]

of course, theres a lot more to him because he is a multi-faceted real life human being, and i don’t know him personally, but that’s a general idea of what he’s like, okay?

SHIPPERS will have you think differently. some video got popular on youtube ""proving"" that hoseok is a sadist (which is just clips of him jokingly playfighting with the younger members), and the video depicts him as secretly mean and serious, and shippers will use that to say "hoseok is a total top!" and then most fanart or imagines or fanfic threads you see are top!hoseok, using this imagined 'hoseok is a sadistic dom' narrative to fuel their fiction, because SOMEONE has to be the top, so they twist him into this hypermasculine mean person (and probably feminize the 'bottom' of their ship but more on that later)

EXCEPT it is not just fiction. this narrative bleeds into REAL LIFE. you have new armys who dont know anything about the shipping scene, and yet somehow the narrative of hoseok being a secretly mean, sadistic person has already made its way into them. in real life, hoseok likes rainbows and wearing nail stickers and putting glitter in his hair. yet people in the fandom will say shit like "hoseok hates femininity" "hoseok would never wear [thing] because he's a dom"

sometimes on twitter you have ppl like me who say uh actually you guys are really weird and this is fetishy and in real life hoseok is very nice and not sadistic at all, you will UNDOUBTEDLY get comments like "omg hoseok isnt cute/nice when will yall learn he’s secretly like [x] and [x]". you could post a video of hoseok with a puppy titled "wow cute" and u will get like 2 clowns in ur comments going 'hoseok isnt CUTE hes a sadist’ . i wish i was joking but i am not. they will do this for EVERY action hoseok does. he cannot blink without people twisting it into a sexual thing

[also, side note: its funny that, since hoseok is one of the least popular members and therefore one of the least shipped members, he is often the odd man out among pairings, and is assigned 'the straight one' by default, and 9 times out of 10 people who assign him 'the straight one' do all this 'dom daddy hoseok' shit.

which just goes to show that this is indeed a matter of heteronormativity.]

so anyways arguably the most popular ship with hoseok is with yoongi, sope. this absolutely happens to other ships probably but im just using them as an example because i see it the most, being a hobi stan

yoongi is very calm and thoughtful and kind and sometimes appears to be cold/having a bad attitude but its just because of the way he speaks, which is very bluntly. again hes a multi faceted real human and i do not know him personally but thats generally what hes like.

god the fandom. treats him SO BAD. so horribly. he's shorter than hoseok. he's shorter than hoseok and people will exaggerate that literal 1 inch height difference so bad and people will turn his whole personality into shy and blushy and In Love With Hoseok, so in love with hoseok that ‘he gets sad’ when hoseok doesn’t kiss him/hug him/or whatever and IT BLEEDS INTO REAL LIFE.

ANY time hoseok or yoongi do ANYTHING together at ALL, people will ALWAYS push the narrative that hoseok, being the mean sadist he is, is 'hurting' yoongi for not returning his undying love or whatever. hoseok did a vlive where he made bracelets for all the members and he considered putting a cat charm on yoongi's but ultimately decided not to because he was having difficulty and oh my GOD sope stans twisted it into 'hoseok HATES yoongi, yoongi would have been so happy, he would have worn that all the time, hoseok isnt affectionate he hates being close with other people after all :(' which is LITERALLY not true because hoseok gives all his homies good night kisses but okay! whatever fits your narrative!

PEOPLE ACTUALLY HATE HOSEOK BECAUSE OF THIS. BECAUSE OF A SHIP. BECAUSE OF THE MANUFACTURED NARRATIVE PUSHED ONTO HIM BY FETISHISTS SO HE COULD FIT INTO THEIR HETERONORMATIVE ‘TOP’ ROLE. not to be all wahh wahh hoseok is one of the least popular members BUT THIS IS LITERALLY A CONTRIBUTING FACTOR.

everyone """headcanons""" hoseok to be a top so they will make him a MEAN HYPERMASCULINE person. everyone """headcanons""" yoongi as a bottom so they will make him a SOFT UWU HYPERFEMININE person. shippers are literally pigeonholing the two of them into fujoshi-esque roles for jack-off material.

anyways this all boils down to: gay fetishists will do anything, ANYTHING, to twist characters or real life fucking people to fit their heteronormative view of top and bottom. top=mean and masculine, bottom=soft and feminine. hoseok is a real life human being. yoongi is a real life human being. they both have real life human personalities, and yet shippers twist their personalities into the opposite to fit their narrative, to the point where nonshippers will genuinely view the two of them as something theyre not.

you have tons of armys that theorize that hoseok's happiness is just a mask he puts on to hide a cruel nature. on twitter. on youtube. in fanart and fanfiction. you have tons of armys that truly believe that, despite literally all the evidence, believe he hates being cute, he hates being happy, he hates the members, and hes secretly a dom daddy fuckboy who wants to bend yoongi over a table. hes a real life human being and fetishists doing their fetish thing has real life consequences.

the same is true for bottom!hoseok stans: they overexaggerate his more cutesy personality traits and he does have a 'feminine' figure i.e. he has a rly small waist but they will overexaggerate that as well and give him huge hips and its disgusting but dom!hoseok is far more frequent with far more devastating consequences so i used that as an example but they’re both bad.

people who """"headcanon"""" [like actually headcanon/firmly believe and not just joking or lighthearted] that members are gay will force these types of roles onto the members. if someone genuinely believes that like, yoongi is gay/bi/whatever, and then try to force this subby soft uwu persona onto him, they have no respect for gay people. they dont. gay people are simply objects for their fantasies. their view of gay people is so one-dimensional and so driven by fetishists’ ideas that its actually disheartening.

and god bitches will deadass be homophobic yet still ship real ass human idols. not just for bts specifically but all boygroup fandoms. sometimes when you search up an idol's name, [idol] gay will be trending--whether it be because of people saying "im gay for him" or whatever, and a LOT of cishet people will try 'clearing' the searches because being gay is bad or something. people normally ‘clear’ the searches if something like [idol fat] or [idol ugly] are trending, which im telling you so you know the context that people only clear the searches when bad things are happening.

[never forget that time 'jungkook gay' was trending and bitches were like "lets clear the searches!" but their pinned tweet said some shit like "sub jungkook x dom jimin coffee shop smut au thread 🌈". bitches also be like i cant be homophobic i ship taekook]

and hoseok and yoongi arent the only ones affected ! we could get into why namjoon and jin (another popular ship) are often assigned 'dad' and 'mom' respectively, or the fact that gay fetishists not only twist members' personalities to fit their ship narrative, but will also force tropes onto them i.e. taehyung/jungkook shippers who will literally demonize jimin and call him a slut or say that he's trying to 'get in the way of' of taekook or 'steal' taehyung/jungkook but thats a whole DIFFERENT rant baby! racism/asian fetishism is also definitely a present factor in all of this but this focus was primarily on gay fetishism and heteronormativity.

oh my god i could also get into the severe transphobia/trans fetishism in this fandom too but this post is already long enough as it is

tl dr: gay fetishists will fetishize real life people and it has actual real life effects and we should ban straight women from shipping mlm

[uservillanelle]

Killing Eve ― 3x03 (Review)

Alriiight clowns, who’s ready for some 3x03 discussion? I don’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the episode already, but there are still some points I’d like to point out/talk about. So let’s get started!

Andalusia

As bad as it sounds, I enjoy seeing Villanelle do her job. It’s exactly where the show can show off some really incredible places in the world and of course explore different, creative ways of killing someone. However, this time in particular I don’t think it was realistic enough the way they did it. I mean, what kind of strength does Villanelle need to have in order to throw the tuning fork like that and instantly kill a person? You’d think it would take a lot more effort to have the tuning fork pierce human skull. No? 

Anyways, another thing is the nanny that Villanelle also killed. I believe only the pianist was her target, since she appeared to be rather taken aback by hearing the baby’s cries through the baby monitor. She didn’t expect anyone else to be in the house. She could’ve easily left without anyone seeing her, but she didn’t. “You really like that baby, huh? It’s not even yours.” So this kind of explains why she killed the nanny, since the baby wasn’t hers? But then again... I think this scene was needed for her to be able to take the baby and eventually this thing would escalate into her need to find her family. 

The Bathroom

Carolyn and Mo are analysing the circumstances of Kenny’s death. And what’s better way to do it than in a bathtub? Classic Carolyn. This reminds me of Villanelle’s “I have a thing for bathrooms, actually.” One of the recurring themes that the show expresses in such a natural way. 

The fact that the head of MPS still claims that it was suicide despite the lack of note or motivation. Makes me wonder just how many more cases like these are marked as ‘suicide’ when in reality there’s a lot more to the story to uncover. KE is really into all this shady stuff, hm?

Eve is SO done with Carolyn this season. She deserves it though, after betraying Eve but it is just so satisfying for me, at least, to watch them interact with this new formed dynamic. It’s refreshing that Eve was in a way replaced by Mo, who now is basically Carolyn’s assistent and not Eve. She did make her point for not wanting to work for Carolyn anymore, so she found someone else, while Eve is still active and in the game, just in her own way. Gotta love independent Eve Polastri.

Meetings Have Biscuits

Eve is really taking charge this season, not gonna lie. She basically set up this whole meeting, invited Jamie (whose name I constantly keep forgetting) and even ordered everybody on what they should be doing since neither Carolyn nor Jamie showed the initiative to work with one another. “You can have a biscuit when you tell me what the point of you is.” GOLDEN LINE!! I don’t usually agree with Carolyn, but YES! I’m not really sure what is Jamie’s role here. You can have Bear, who already helped to solve the rubbik cube’s puzzle while Jamie did what, exactly? I have a bad feeling about him but I’m not going to say it just yet... in case I’m wrong and do I hope I am.

Young mother with baby and grandma

I absolutely ADORED this scene in all ways. We got to see Villanelle interact with an actual baby without her doing any harm to him! That’s a rare gem we might not get to see again, so let’s appreciate it! Not only that but we got to see A BABY interact with A BABY. Villanelle’s a literal child and I love her to pieces. 

Ever since Villanelle found out that Eve’s alive she’s been back on her BS just like Dasha said and apparently it’s been DAYS. “What got into you?” So.. Dasha doesn’t know that Villanelle knows about Eve. Meaning Dasha is not communicating with Konstantin and probably doesn’t know about Eve. Then again, last episode she and Villanelle did have a talk about how she can’t go down the same road again. So is Dasha pretending not to know what’s going on or she truly isn’t aware?

Villanelle gets her next postcard. It’s London. She freaks out and we all know exactly why. Yeah, it’s like, WE also should be freaking out about it because Villanelle will be going to London in episode 3. Eve and Villanelle usually got her first reunion in episode 5 in previous seasons. So it does feel too soon and that’s exactly what Villanelle says next. “I’m not ready! How about that?” Of course she needs to prepare first. She’s extra like that. Not only she says it but she is actually nervous and her body language is TOO loud about it. 

This brings me to my next point... Dasha sees just how much of a mess Villanelle is and proceeds to “encourage” her once she hears that she’s not ready. “All you need is anorak and a face like cheese”. Okay, hear me out. Last episode Dasha and Villanelle were having a conversation about Felix and how Villanelle will have to “guide” him, encourage him and make him believe that he “can be good”. This is exactly what she’s doing with Villanelle now, or am I seeing things? Last time Villanelle picked up on that, this time she doesn’t because she’s too invested in thinking about Eve and preparation. Then she agrees with Dasha and we see her give this sort of satisfying look which only indicates just how twisted she is. I mean she can’t be that stupid to not realize why Villanelle is the way she is... and STILL encourage her to go to London. Like.. I’m sure The Twelve has many more assassins up their sleeve so why not send someone else to London instead? No. It has to be Villanelle for the show’s sake. It has to be Villanelle because EVE is there and the idea of the Twelve possibly wanting to recruit Eve keeps appealing to me more and more... this might not be the case at all but why would both sides keep setting Eve and Villanelle up even after they seemed to be “over” one another?

On a lighter note, Dasha placing the baby in the trash bin is the most hilarious thing I’ve seen. INCLUDING Villanelle’s reaction. Sooo damn good, but it didn’t seem like anyone saw Dasha do it at first. It’s only later when someone heard the baby crying, people showed up. This show man.. there’s nothing else like KE in television and it’s a fact.

Eve

Let me just start with “But before I go on, you have to understand that once I tell you about them, your lives are in danger.” “Then don’t tell us.” “They’re called The Twelve.” Eve’s really not giving a shit about anything as it seems LMAO! I mean, at least she gave them a warning beforehand? This is yet another recurring trait of Eve’s. She doesn’t care about other’s needs except her own. It happened plenty of times back in S2 and it happened in this season. For example when she called Kenny and asked about the drinks and as soon as she got the answer she needed from him, she hung up not giving a chance for Kenny to say anything. Then now, and the way she treated Mo once she asked if he could trace the Geneva account for them. This reminds me of a scene in S2 where Eve basically ordered Kenny to help her find Villanelle by saying “you work for me.” This is exactly what she’s doing with Mo now. “Did you take this job thinking it would be easier? If you did. quit now. Cause it’s only getting tougher.” This is her own way of manipulation and getting what SHE wants. She even did it with Villanelle back in 2x05 when she asked for her help while interrogating the ghost. She did it and basically had to ASK Eve for a ‘thank you’ which wasn’t even genuine from Eve’s part. It’s not the best thing to have or do... yet I’m not sure if Eve is even aware of what she’s doing or when she does it. Hopefully it won’t cause major trouble further into the story. Hopefully.

The time has finally come. Eve is finally beginning to realize and hopefully accept her feelings for Villanelle. I’m not saying she was in denial before, but more like avoiding the topic in general. Until this episode. I mean the sexual tension between her and Villanelle whenever they meet and especially in this episode was WAY too strong for her to handle and she went for it. She went for the kiss which, can mean a million things, like Sandra mentioned in one recent interview. It can mean she went for it to catch Villanelle off guard, it can mean that she simply gave into the temptation... and accepted the fact that yes, she IS attracted to the assassin and this way unlocked this very personal character journey we are about to see. After meeting Villanelle she still went to the office and all she said was “I don’t want to talk about it.” Clearly it all was too much for her, as it was FOR US, so it’s understandable. But when she came back home and got instantly paranoid, thinking Villanelle was there just got me thinking of just how big of an effect does Villanelle have on Eve. She definitely caught Villanelle’s strong scent there... and then the recording. Sure, she was scared and angry and at first turned it off ASAP. But something changed soon afterwards... something that made her turn the recording back on and bring it to her ear... and close her eyes while taking in Villanelle’s voice. She IS admitting and she DOES wish Villanelle was there. This was a moment where she had time to process everything on her own without anyone else around her. She needed this... and the reveal is just so delicious. I’m sure we all know how the episode really ended, huh?

Now that the reunion happened and Eve found out that Niko apparently discharged himself from the fascility and moved back to Poland, I’m very intrigued to see just how much will Eve and Niko’s dynamic change. Will she still try to get Niko to come back? Try to convince him that there is still a chance for the two of them? Or is she only going to visit him to tie the loose ends and be done with the guy? I do think that the kiss and the meeting itself changed things for her so I cannot wait to see just how her and Niko’s relationship will escalate/end. Niko, on the other hand, is still pretty much UNSTABLE and he’ll cause trouble. I’m telling right now. This is no good so I hope Eve will leave him as soon as she comes and be done with him since she DOES deserve better than him, too.

The Accountant

First, I’m actually glad Suzanne decided to dive deeper into the core of The Twelve. Last season we didn’t really get enough of information about them and this one seems to be way more focused on it. Meaning the story is moving forward. And by story I mean the actual plot. 

Sergei Korchmarev. AKA Charles Kruger. As far as I understood he was the one to stole 6 million euros from the Twelve WHILE working for them? He did that and then asked Konstantin to get him the money to “buy him some time” to find the “scoundrel”. So 6 million wasn’t enough for him, hm? Why do I have a feeling he’s been stealing the money for something bigger than his own greed? It has to be for something “bigger” but then again, guess we won’t be able to find out as Villanelle blew his brains out. 

Again, both Konstantin and Carolyn knew him so that makes me even more suspicious. They seem to be working on different sides now but who knows really? This whole thing just keeps me on my toes, as it should but I want to know a bit more of this whole situation. We are left in the dark and we’ve been there for the past two seasons.

Villanelle

Villanelle in the perfume shop is the definition of a drama queen. Period. The way she described the custom scent she’d like was so captivating and telling. Like, she knew exactly what she wanted and that’s power. Smelling like Roman centurion means smelling like power. “I want to make people gag with it.” It has to be THAT strong, she wants people to know just how much strength she’s carrying, but most importantly Eve. “Well, we have some lovely floral fragrances for ladies over here.” “Maybe I should describe to you what I’m thinking.” OF COURSE he had to suggest some “lovely floral fragnance for LADIES” which is the complete opposite of what Villanelle describes next. So the overly too big suit that she chose to dress to meet Eve should have that very scent sshe was talking about. After all, she does see herself as a warrior.

I wonder if them throwing a baby in this episode is the only reason for Villanelle to have this need to find her family. Sure, Konstantin hinted last season that some members of her family are still alive and right now he doesn’t seem too keen on helping Villanelle find them. Though, knowing that she will be going to Russia in 3x05 means that Konstantin, or someone else, will find out about the location of her family memebers in next episode. It should really be interesting because we haven’t seen Villanelle interact with ANY family members before. Plus... I have a feeling they will force for OKSANA to come to the surface yet again and I am here for it. 

I can’t help but point out, yet again, that after receiving the postcard, Villanelle went to London to buy perfume in preparation for the reunion with Eve, then went to the toy’s shop where she bought a talking bear and a very adorable bear shirt for herself and THEN went to meet Eve. Only afterwards all that she actually went after her target, which should be the main reason why she was in London in the first place. Love comes first for Villanelle. Job after. That’s ironic, because the previous two seasons everything was about JOB for Eve. She let her marriage fall into pieces but she didn’t stop working and obsessing over Villanelle.

Can we just appreciate Villanelle in police officer’s uniform? I mean... she can kill whoever the hell she wants if she will be wearing that. Almost makes me want to be arrested by a cop lmao!!

The bus scene

It’s been over 4 days since the episode came out and I STILL cannot believe we got a villaneve reunion AND A KISS!! Like... I was worried the scene would be too random and I didn’t want that. It was random. That’s why it was so surprising for all of us, because we couldn’t expect them to meet so soon and on a bus. There were no indications we will see them meet and that worked really well.

At the same time I feel like if we cut out the bus scene from the episode, the main plot wouldn’t be affected. This scene could easily be replaced with another one while this one could be thrown in next episode or have them meet in second episode if they found out about each other during the premiere. That’s why I don’t like that aspect... I wish the scene was there because it was NEEDED to be in that episode at that time, you know? It’s only about the placement. I wonder why they decided to include it in this particular episode. 

Other than that the scene itself was PERFECT!! I made a separate in depth post/anaylsis of the scene HERE in case you haven’t read it yet! 

Carolyn

I’m soo glad that we’re finally seeing more of Carolyn investigating things openly for us, viewers. The previous two seasons we barely saw anything she did because she was THAT private and had so many secrets we could only wonder what the hell she’s thinking or doing. Now, though... we can see she’s working on Kenny’s case and is actually trying to solve this mystery surrounding his death. That includes her setting up the meeting with one of her former lovers, Henrik, to find out about the Geneva account. 

Now, I was soo sure Villanelle would go after her so I kind of was prepared to lose Carolyn or have her escape somehow. None of that happened, though they did make us worry for a minute or two during which Carolyn wasn’t moving and had blood/bruises on one side of her head. Again, Villanelle is THAT extra to go through the trouble to nearly shoot Carolyn only to get to the accountant. And we actually got to see Carolyn fearing for her life despite having met Villanelle several times. She knew what Villanelle was capable of so the aftermath of this helped us see that she indeed had feelings but often decided to ignore/avoid them and this way stay in denial. “I’m fine” says a woman who looks like a mess and is shaking at the same time. It’s okay to admit things, Carolyn. 

Overall Thoughts

The first two episodes were there to set the entire plot up, including Eve and Villanelle find out about one another and now that they know... shit’s going down and this episode was definitely the strongest one this season so far. This is very promising since the episode was written by Laura Neal, who will be the showrunner for S4! 

We got to see plenty of action, funny moments, AT LEAST 6 different Villanelle outfits and we got a moment with her and actual baby. PLUS VILLANEVE KISS!! What else could we want?! 

As always, if any of you guys have any predictions/thoughts on previous or future episodes don’t hesitate to ask/message me about them so we could chat and discuss our favorite show together! Thank you guys for reading and see during the review for 3x04 next week!!!

[applesfallingfromblondehair]

I'd love for you to go more in-depth about Joker. 😌

I’m very glad and very sorry at the same time that you want to listen to me rant about that fucking piece of shit of a movie. I’ll just go ahead and paste the review that I wrote a few hours after coming out of the movie theatre--it’s very passionate and very rambly in pieces, but I still stand by every single thing I wrote:

***

I wish I was exaggerating when I say that coming out of the theatre felt like coming back from the dead. I spent two full hours in Hell watching this movie.

In general, Joker tries to be so many things, and miserably fails at every single one of them. The only really undeniable plus about it is Joaquin Phoenix’s performance, but the plot is a whole damned trainwreck. Please find attached an (inexhaustive) list of reasons why.

1. This is, by a country mile, the most cringeworthy depiction of mental illness I think I’ve ever seen in a Hollywood movie. Arthur’s evident condition is first inflated—we’re driven to think that it’s what makes his life so difficult and miserable (re: the scene with the kid on the bus)—only to then be diminished and almost set to the side—funds for his treatment are cut, he stops taking his medication, and suddenly the fits of laughter are less and less frequent… and the murderous sprees become his way of coping. Which conveniently brings me to my second point, aka…

2. Gratuitous violence. I’m guessing every soul sitting around in the theatre will have been familiar with Heath Ledger—if not, I’m very sorry for you—and his magistral interpretation of the Joker in Nolan’s The Dark Knight. His Joker was absolutely bonkers and incredibly scattered, but equally as calm and collected and calculating. I believed that Joker. I believed he would be capable of the never-ending pile of awful things he was making happen in Gotham City. And here’s, I think, the root of the problem: I don’t believe this Joker. I must admit I came incredibly close to doing it during his speech at the talk show. That was very Joker—and, incidentally, very Heath Ledger’s Joker, which is probably the whole reason why I found it convincing. Other than that, Joaquin’s character is the sole protagonist of a huge pity party around a rare and crippling condition—which is (pardon the pun) laughed at and diminished to the point of making his life a living hell, and which results into him harbouring a whole goddamned lot of very conflicting feelings. Add to that a generous sprinkle of good old Second Amendment rights—aka, let a malicious co-worker hand him a revolver in a brown paper bag—and what you’ll get is a randomly murderous clown. Who quickly gets addicted to killing people, since it’s his only outlet to cope with everything that’s happening in his fucked up life. Fighting fire with fire. Wow. Groundbreaking.

3. The justification of said gratuitous violence by said mental illness is also something that makes this movie so wrong in my eyes. Sure, you could argue that it’s society that made Arthur the Joker—people kick him when he’s down, no-one understands him, his lifelong dream of becoming a professional stand-up comedian is shattered on national television, funds for his treatment are cut and he’s left, quite literally, to his own devices—but the depiction of it is just way beyond any possible excuse. This film wants you to cheer for the poor, god-forsaken, deranged middle-aged man, who was abused as a child (but doesn’t really remember it for two thirds of the movie), who has to take care of his sick and equally as delusional mother, and who simply cannot deal anymore. So it’s only natural we must cheer for him thriving by putting bullets into people, suffocating them with pillows, and planting sharp scissors into their carotids, right? Why, of course it is. And no, by the way, I’m absolutely not justifying the violence in Dark Knight solely based on the fact that Heath Ledger’s interpretation was all-round much more credible. I’m just saying—every incident in that film was meticulously planned and rehearsed, and it felt twisted but also thrilling. Arthur in Joker is just a homicidal madman without a plan. And we’re still supposed to hail his “accomplishments”—a few accidental kills and a string of more or less meaningful vendettas, that (on top of everything) come out of the blue at the best of times, and are depicted way-too-graphically? Nah, sorry, mate. Can’t do.

4. The whole thing is then flipped on its head when the same society that single-handedly and purposefully rejects Arthur, his obvious problems and his inherent incapacity to integrate, becomes the whole rhyme and reason behind him wanting to keep on living instead of going through with his suicide bid live on national television. Sure, one could definitely argue that class struggle is a big part of this story—Thomas Wayne raised as the sole source of Gotham’s every problem, the whole Kill the rich shtick, the sea of masks adopted as an ostensible symbol of rebellion appearing after literally one man dressed as a clown accidentally found himself in the situation of having to defend himself on a subway train, and the men he ended up killing were accidentally part of the mean old finance industry (Thomas Wayne’s employees, no less! Who’d have thought), and they so deserved to die—but, in my eyes, it’s ultimately so overdone that the whole thing ends up feeling artificial and forced. The descent into chaos that Gotham goes through in the span of a few hours, coupled with raising a literal nobody in triumph for what are effectively terrorist acts just feels so mind-bendingly wrong. I’m aware that this is an origin story movie for a vicious villain, so it would theoretically make sense to glorify him for the wicked things he does—except these people have just spent one hour and a half making us believe that this is just a poor man who’s been abused by society and that it’s not really his fault, the poor thing. Which is what makes the celebration of his acts so inherently terrible. It validates that side of him that was dormant and still random, and it makes it bloom into a whole other thing.

A few (maybe a bit petty) dishonourable mentions that did not make the actual list:

1. The scene where he dyes his hair is very cool. Except, at the risk of bringing up clichés, brown hair simply doesn’t dye green that easily.

2. The already iconic scene of Arthur as his new Joker persona dancing on the steps, is completely shattered by the two policemen starting to pursue him. He sees himself in danger, and he’s yanked back to poor, frightened Arthur in the blink of an eye. Doesn’t help me believe in this Joker in the slightest.

3. The whole incredibly fucking dumb implication that Arthur might be Thomas Wayne’s son—which would effectively make him Bruce’s half-brother. Christ, was that really necessary? Especially since it’s obviously left on an ambiguous note. Just a cheap-ass plot device, solely there to try and tie the movie in with the Batman canon. Pointless as all hell.

4. I’ve had the pleasure to observe that one of the last frames of the movie contains a scene that we’ve never, ever seen—the murder of Bruce Wayne’s parents in the back alley of the theatre is truly such a new and refreshing piece of cinema, isn’t it? For fuck’s sake. As the minutes rolled by and the movie looked like it was slowly but surely coming to a close, I’d somehow let myself believe that, at least, maybe such a lazy plot point would not make it into the final cut. Turns out I was very much mistaken. They couldn’t even get this right.

The fact that this is probably going to win a lot of awards just makes me so very bloody mad.

What a disgrace.

***

I usually love being right, but in this case I was really sad I was. Fucking Joaquin ended up stealing all the awards away from the one man who deserved them last year and, like I said, I will die mad about it.

Also, I’d like to add something that in the spur of the moment I hadn’t thought of but that I realised a few days later: in the movie, Arthur gets away with everything that he does because he’s white. Imagine for a second if the protagonist of this story had been a black man. 

I’ll let you take your time. Tell me when you’re ready.

...

Yep. I know.

*major shrug emoji*