#NEVER POSTED THIS ONE BEFORE BREAK OOPSY

[cloversnstrawberries]

Omg ;;; I need to know more about Malpractice and silly lill "kid" user. Like what does Malpractice do once he takes them.

Or was it a slow process since Malpractice probably wanted to get an idea of what he's dealing with and prepare a room!

Omg, plz yap about him. I will love to hear everything about him ;;

intro post | masterlist

!!! i was literally so happy when I got this ask,,, ohmygah,, i would be more than happy to infodump about the physical incarnation of “oopsie” “WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘OOPSIE’? YOU’RE CURRENTLY DOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY?”…

this also got a little longer than i anticipated </3 i would add a 'read more', but it breaks the formatting and idk how to fix it :[ i just love him so much. i love my OCs so. i have to spill all his lore like it's spaghetti in my pocket at the slightest prompting.

Malpractice is a very methodical person in general. So I don’t think he’d exactly rush in on trapping reader, but that’s not to say he wouldn’t want to be quick with it.

Reader probably has some sort of ‘give-and-take’ power, the kind that’d be demonized to a certain extent. Probably a medical/healing related one as well, which would hit Malpractice right in his withered, literally rotting, heart.

The mentor would be a flashy sort of superhero, some sort of power relating to light/fire probably. You were assigned to each other not because the agency thought you’d work well together,

But because they were certain your mentor could keep you in check. They treated you like a ticking time-bomb, and the only reason they took you into their custody was to prevent you becoming an antagonistic force if you’d ‘fallen into the wrong hands’.

They treated you like an object, is what Malpractice thought when he uncovered it all. Really, it hadn’t taken very much digging at all to find your medical, training, and academic records.

…Then again, he supposes that’s no fault of the agency. Of course there was an easy back door in for him, he made the system. It was funny, how they never bothered to change it much-- even though it’s been nearly a century.

You’d think they would’ve, since the agency was very well aware of the little hiccup that caused Malpractice to become the way he was. Granted, he’d never been a very altruistic or good person in the first place; but he never had the means to enact over half of what he does now until that ‘hiccup’.

While the general public— and even a large majority of of the agency’s staff— didn’t know of the connection, the higher ups most certainly did.

Well, no skin off his teeth if they didn’t patch up the holes he used to get into their documents. Just made it all the more easy for him, hm?

But regardless, after reading the documents on you-- He decided to try and get you away from the agency’s grasp as soon as he could.

At first, he simply watched you from a distance. Oh, how he hated it, watching you being treated like you were,

But he never made a move to intervene, to let himself known. Malpractice wasn’t really known for being antsy-- he was a very patient person, all things considered.

He’d waited years, hell, even decades, for plans to come into full effect.

This time around, with you involved, he could hardly even wait the three months he had before you fell into his awaiting arms.

It wasn’t a fun time for him, having to keep tabs on you from afar; make sure you weren’t getting roughed up too terribly.

Then, he started helping you when your mentor would just up and leave you; which he had come to know, was a very common occurrence.

Far more common than it should be. Even once would be far too much, considering how you’re frontal lobe wasn’t even fully developed yet.

Usually, he didn’t have much of an opinion on the particular people running the agency at the time. He’s seen various board members and CEOs come and go,

But he’d couldn’t help but think of this bunch as complete and utter idiots. cruel, biased idiots and not much more.

At first, you’d hardly notice his ‘help’, when enemies would just keel over unconscious— or pitch forward and upchuck randomly, you thought it was strange how it was happening more and more often—

You never made the connection though. Obviously, you wouldn’t have, because no one was aware Malpractice had returned in the first place. He decided to lay low for once, make sure to leave his grand reappearance until after you’re safe and sound.

Eventually, his ‘helping hand’ got too obvious to ignore. Especially at one instance, where your mentor left you with an actual danger. Not some group of burglars or a smalltime, wannabe villain.

No. You were left with an established villain. One that even your mentor would have a little trouble subduing. In a rather uncharacteristic spur-of-the-moment decision, he sent in one of his helpers.

Your opponents suddenly getting sick, anytime they came even remotely close to landing a hit? Strange, concerning even; but ultimately, couldn’t draw a strong enough connection to anything (or anyone) in particular.

However, when a re-animated corpse shambles on the scene and beats the shit out of the villain you were fighting,

Well, it was undeniable. The connection to Malpractice— the agency kept it a secret, something they did quite often. They’d realize he was around again, but wouldn’t let the public know until Malpractice made himself known.

It was a self-preservation tactic, really. He could become quite agitated if his plan for a grand entry was smothered by the agency’s meddling.

He’s a very theatrical person, like his whole existence can be defined by the phrase “comic book villains are just theater kids that somehow got the means to enact their shenanigans on a large scale.”.

After that, he didn’t really see a point in not meeting you face to face. Obviously, he couldn’t just waltz up to you! He understands that looks absolutely terrifying, even ignoring the reputation he’s built for himself.

He’ll just scare you off!

So obviously, the next course of action was to find a fresh corpse, embalm it to try and get the most out of it time-wise; and puppet it around in order to meet you.

Very normal behavior in his mind. But the again, he hasn’t necessarily been all there for almost a century now-- not that he’d admit that part.

Out loud or otherwise.

When that body ‘expired’, damage too noticeable for any sane person to assume they were a living, breathing person; he just got another one.

He did this a couple times, learning things about you from the source-- hopes, dreams, hobbies, interests, so on and so forth. He used his findings to create a room in one of his favorite safehouses.

Honestly, he's quite sure that the agency knows the location of it; but use that knowledge to purposefully avoid it. It's funny to him, how much fear he strikes in them, because the heads know better than anyone just how difficult he was to deal with.

They'd leave him alone, even when he took you. Wouldn't come looking for you, even if they put two-and-two together and figured out where you'd gone. But he'd be foolish to think that the only reason behind that would be the fear they feel for him.

No, they view you as expendable. All the more reason to take you in, obviously! Again, children shouldn't anywhere near this sort of work. Even if you aren't literally a child, you'd be hard pressed to get that through Malpractice's thick skull.

[harmonyrae]

Question🙋‍♀️🙋‍♀️ about the bridgerton au, the domestic sisterly scenes with the readers are so cute!!💕 Then I remembered the poll you held before posting the series and was wondering, if the "Lis are family" option won, would you have written the same thing for them? If yes Imma need a moment to mourn the loss of domestic brotherly scenes with the Lis

Yes, I had a "plan" for whichever one won the poll. I originally wanted the guys to be family & was a tad disappointed sisters won. BUT I am so happy with how the fics are turning out and the "in-law" dynamics the guys are slowly building.

A tiny hint at what could have been: Sylus was the eldest and HATED the idea of being responsible. Zayne was 2nd, still a doctor. Caleb gives big middle child energy so he would have been 3rd. Xavier 4th, piano prodigy. Rafayel is the baby who is spoiled rotten.

Zayne is the voice of reason for Sylus.

Sylus likes to push Zayne to be more carefree.

Rafayel & Sylus are super close, but fight constantly.

Caleb & Zayne get alone, but are competitive.

Xavier is a loner, but he and Zayne confide in each other.

Zayne was forced to operate on Caleb on the battlefield.

Zayne & Sylus were most heartbroken when their dad died.

Rafayel & Caleb are momma's boys.

Xavier is the "easy" child - parents never worried about him. (Which was their mistake cause a princess falls for him and he may have compromised her... oopsie)

Anyways, Xavier's fic is up next and then there will be a lil break before the "conclusion" for each story.

[maisims2]

The Backhills Asylum Challenge - Ballet Biker Barthelet

Kenneth brings home his first friend from work - Brittany Wendland, who is a brunette and not a werewolf, which is the kind of sim that really gets Ken going if you know what I mean 👀 Brittany is not keen on the stench of dirty dishwater, and neither is Ken, so he goes to wash off the day while Brittany meets the other residents.

...who are very surprised to see another sim! Brittany spends most of the night enjoying the smell of the mac and cheese in the kitchen...

Before abusing the violin for the sleeping sims, and finally leaving at 3.30am, without speaking to Kenneth once 😅

Chris is always tickling people (literally the second interaction he had with Kenneth on the first day was to tickle him 😅) so he's definitely a playful sim...

...but I'm not sure that makes him a nice sim (-_-;) He spent hours blocking Magnus from going to the toilet - first by physically blocking the door, then by constantly tickling and playing games with him... poor Magnus lol

Morning comes with the smell of Ken cooking pancakes, which Blake was incredibly happy about haha He spent the whole time Ken was cooking just standing behind him and grinning, while Alan was staring at Blake and grinning as well...

After breakfast Blake breaks plays sea captain in the bathtub, with Alan watching of course.

This is the face of a sim who spent the morning unclogging the toilet, repairing the TV, and fixing the bathtub, has work in half an hour, and has just heard the sound of someone clogging the toilet again 🫠

Jake is the first sim to start working out on the exercise bike, wearing his leotard which... can't be comfortable haha

Kenneth heads off to work and I let everyone do their thing, sitting back and watching at x2 speed, when I realise...

Jake is still on the bike.

I never had Freetime as a kid so it's... quirks aren't that familiar to me, but I had heard about the deadly exercise bike and downloaded the fix for it from recommended mod lists, but I hadn't tested it yet, so I'm a little worried about Jake at this point...

Ray rocks out while Jake... keeps... biking... (￣～￣;)

I end up putting a pause on the challenge rules to monitor Jake's bike situation... and to finally change Magnus' hair so I can tell the two of them apart 😅

...he was not happy with the makeover lol

Here is the point where I just decided to get rid of the bike and replace it with a different exercise object with the same stats.

I had the bike fix mod in a subfolder, so I moved it to the main downloads folder and decided to actually test it out.

So now is a quick detour to Desiderata Valley > Bluewater Village to see Tess Thompson, a sim I made to test out the alien genetics I default replaced, and who is now going to see if using this exercise bike kills her 😋

Nope! Though I now realised I didn't know if this was any different from when I had the fix in a subfolder so I decided to test that too.

Yeah she was fine lol... I guess I panicked over nothing?

I am finishing up this post a couple play sessions after these screenshots were taken, and no one has used the new exercise equipment yet, except for Kenneth when I told him to... I might have just created an issue for myself instead of fixed one... oopsy 😅

<< Part Two - The First Night

Part Four - Promotions & Commotions >>

[silentprincessofhyrule]

i having something to admit

i never really finished totk!

but yesterday i just finished the game. and wow.

i took a mini break when i was doing the spirit temple, because that temple bored me out. i did finish it though eventually.

after speaking to purah and her telling me to go beat up ganondorf, i was more then ready. if i beat up calamity ganon in botw, can’t be too hard in totk, right?

after that, i quickly got ‘enough’ food and went in super confident. yeah! i can do this, ganondorf can’t be THAT hard? right?

i underprepared and greatly underestimated him.

and… he beat my ass 3 times!

the journey to get to ganondorf was really cool. when i was at the point where the game told me i couldn’t use my sages because i was too far in the depths, that scared me for a moment. the dive down was super cool too.

the first time, he started beating me up around phase 2. after losing, i completely forgot i could use a travel medallion to save my spot. anyways, i cooked some more food.

the second time, i made it to phase 3!! but then i was absolutely flabbergasted when this guy started flurry rushing MY flurry rushes. like what?? then he started destroying all my shields in 1 attack! then i died.

the third time was an okay try… i made it to phase 2 until one of the ganondorf copies killed me. oopsies.

the fourth try, i was super determined. i cooked more food (literally just cooked 1 dish using 5 sundelions) and i was more than ready.

i made it to phase 3 without using any of my dishes the phase before. and within a few seconds all of those dishes were gone.

now… it was just me on 1 heart left, but ganondorf too was close to being defeated.

who won?

ganondorf!

is what i would say if this post wasn’t about me beating totk.

link beat him up of course! by using a gibido bone with an arrow.

(oh and i admit i also suck at flurry rushing timings and i suck at parrying)

this fight was big step up from botw- i ACTUALLY had to get a strategy and prepare, where for calamity ganon, i got help from the champions and just went ‘attack and attack’ with the master sword.

i also loved the demon dragon fight, especially the ost. oh, and that part where the sky and moon turns red? absolutely gorgeous.

the ending was absolutely incredible and emotional, even though i was already spoiled for it.

oh and i find it so funny by how they make complete strip link of all his clothing, they probably saw link in the tinkle or ancient armor and said “never again.”

however…

i still prefer botw though, just personal preference. i could go on an entire ramble about this but i’ll save that for later.

[irrevocablecondition]

a) why awake so late, b) all your titles are fuckin banging i love them c) big fan of cemetaries pls gimme something for Killing Time at the Cemetery <33

wip ask game

hiii !! <3

snupin. oopsie. this is poa era snupin and UGH yes !!! title from loml (taylor) and just,,, "killing time at the cemetery" ???? because it's snupin but endgame wolfstar? they are truly just killing time at the cemetery frfrfrfr

anywho ! this one is a longgg form snupin fic where they get closer n closer ever time remus collects him wolfsbane and i just !!! i love them. i love them sm they're so messy. i cannot wait to finish one of my wips and finally start posting this one

look i loveee my snupin but i am so enjoying exploring remus as,,, kinda messy???? remus as somebody who after 12 yearsss alone, he has no idea what to do with his feelings. to go from having nothing, to having a job and harry and then severus??? to feel like maybe the pieces are falling back into place and he's so desperate for that, only for sirius to come back. and then remus having to navigate what pieces he needs and wants. messy remus who lives with severus but visits sirius to check on him. messy remus who makes tea for sev but ends up making sirius' preference. messy remus who literally has noooo idea what to do with everything and messy severus who broke his occlumency walls for this man, and the man isn't even Staying.

except he can't even hate remus for it !!! they're so messy 😖

you can have a snippet from ch.1 <3

One of the biggest misconceptions about war is that it can be over - that once the cause has been achieved, the fight is done.

Remus remembers the end of the first war. Not clearly, of course; he was too caught up in drugs and alcohol and self-loathing to truly experience it, but he remembers the parties.

He remembers going to Diagon Alley for the first time two months after it happened, and seeing that people were still celebrating. Banners, music, fireworks, drunken hugs and reconciliations. Everyone was just basking in the feeling of freedom and safety. In naivety.

He’d walk the streets of wizarding society, he’d read the Daily Prophet in the morning, listening to what everyone was saying and just think… how? How are we acting like this is okay? How does one celebrate the end of the war when it was your friends’ sacrifice that ended it?

Of course, people mourned after the war.

There were countless funerals that couldn’t have taken place sooner (none of which Remus attended), there were a number of memorial services for those that died in battles, award ceremonies for those that survived and played their role, and speeches for those that should be on that stage, but didn’t quite make it.

That’s the issue though, mourning the dead.

People always forget to mourn the living.

Remus feels like he’s doing that now. He’s mourned the losses of everyone he held near and dear - names that he can’t quite bring himself to think without breaking down all over again despite the amount of time that’s passed - but he’s never thought to mourn himself. To mourn the person he was before this and the person he could have been now.

Walking the halls of Hogwarts for the first time since he was 17? It feels like mourning.

Every single corner of this castle holds some kind of significance to him, some kind of prank or hurried gasps in alcoves, some kind of fight or hex, some kind of whispered promises and unfulfilled futures - all of it tainted by a war they lost, no matter what the headlines say.

[eternalchiyo]

Everlasting Spark ~MANIAC 03~

The next few days seemed never-ending to Chiyo. Ruki had placed the order that she was not to leave her room, or even better yet, her bed, until she was completely fine again. She was sure she had spent an entire week or more confined to this room and it really was starting to become unbearable, days blending together in a mush of boredom.

Ruki had also ordered the others to keep an eye on her, making sure that Chiyo would behave. Which meant at least one of them would come and keep her company for a day. Ruki himself did not make an appearance too often, which was really good for Chiyo, because thinking about him and their last encounter made her heart race, and she really disliked it.

Currently Kou was on duty, rambling on about something in his idol business.

“… so, then I told her this look was way too outdated. Seriously, it was so 2007, who dresses like this nowadays?”

She didn’t understand a single thing he said.

“Anyway, look, these pictures are horrendous! Who even allowed them to be posted like this?!” He waved his phone in her face. It was one of those newer things called smartphones, very big lately, that much she has learned already. However, she had no idea about anything beyond this. Kou noticed the lack of reaction and confused look on her face and let out a dramatic sigh.

“Seriously, Kitty, go with the times, would you?” He let himself sink onto her bed. “Nobody likes a girl that acts like a grandma, you’re too cute to be wasting your potential like that!”

“I don’t see how any of this is relevant whatsoever!” she replied, a little offended by the way he basically called her an old person. By human standards this might have been the case indeed, but for a Vampire she was still rather young. Defensively, she crossed her arms in front of her chest.

“Hello? It means absolutely everything, if you wanna navigate this world like a normal person. But go ahead, be a weirdo, I guess!”

“I don’t want to navigate this world in the first place, I want to go home!” she said louder than intended, which took the other Vampire aback.

Embarrassed, she looked away.

“Well then, I guess you should just hurry up and become Lilith finally, no?” he asked in a lighthearted way.

Chiyo frowned. “What…?”

Kou stilled, mouth immediately clapping shut. The expression on his face one of a kitten that had been caught in the act of pushing something off a table and breaking it.

“Oopsie?” he said.

“You know something more about my Lilith dreams?”

“Who me? No! I know nothing; what’s a Lilith? Actually, I really need to go now. Important idol business, ehehe…”

“What?! No! You’ll stay here and explain! I am so sick of this!”

Kou was about to flee the scene when the door opened on its own. Or well, technically it was opened by someone from the other side. By none other than Ruki, to be precise.

“I heard some ruckus coming from here, is everything alright?” he asked, his voice calm as ever. Chiyo felt her cheeks become hot the instant his eyes landed on hers. Would this stop already?!

“Ack, Ruki-kun– “

“What is it supposed to mean that I have to become Lilith?” Chiyo asked, her voice stern and accusatory.

She had been suspicious of being called this before, but she wouldn’t have guessed that there was a plan to turn her into… into what? A demon called Lilith? She wanted answers and she was not going to wait any longer! Who were these people to make decisions about her body without her consent?

“I do not–” Ruki started to speak.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I am talking about.” She raised her voice a little.

Ruki sighed and frowned in Kou’s direction.

“Kou. What did you tell her?” he asked.

“I may or may not have let it slip that if she wanted to go back to the demon world she should just hurry up and turn into Lilith,” he laughed nervously.

Ruki sighed again and pinched the bridge of his nose. Chiyo looked at him intently and wondered why even his frustrated face looked handsome. When she caught herself thinking this, she violently shook her head in order to banish these bad thoughts. What was wrong with her? That has been something she caught herself thinking quite frequently lately. She wanted to believe this was also caused by this whole Lilith thing; however she could never be sure.

Kou had swiftly made his escape for now, although she was sure Ruki was going to get back at him for running his mouth like that at some point. The door fell shut.

Chiyo stood up from the bed and made a halt in front of Ruki, arms crossed still.

“I suppose you have questions,” he said.

“What does it mean, I am supposed to ‘turn into Lilith’?” she frowned as she repeated the same question from before.

After what seemed like careful consideration on Ruki’s part, he finally started speaking:

“Lilith is the counterpart to Eve, and we are here to make sure everything goes smoothly while your blood changes.”

Chiyo was taken aback. He just like that told her. Surely there was more to this story than what he was saying. She urged him to speak her pointed, impatient look almost making Ruki roll his eyes.

“Yui Komori is a human girl with a demon heart; you are a Vampire with a human heart. Therefore, both of you have the potential to awaken to great power and bring our King’s grand design into existence.”

That must have been the ‘Apple of Eden’, the thing Reiji had mentioned before, Chiyo thought. So, Yui’s heart was not human? That would explain the intoxicating feeling she got whenever she kept too close to her blood. As for herself, well it was obvious, her mother was a worthless human and apparently Chiyo was also one deep down inside, despite her body having qualities of a Vampire, even if only little.

She needed to take advantage of Ruki’s willingness to share and get more information out of him. However, she needed to be smart about it, asking too many specific questions might have the opposite effect and she really needed to know as much as possible.

“So, if I turn into Lilith… I will be able to go back home…?”

That really was the thing she wanted the most if she was being honest. Sure, her father was there, and they really didn’t get along, but at least this was the most peaceful it could be. Back at home she wouldn’t have to worry about neither Shuu nor Ruki, who had been occupying way too much space in her mind anyway. She’d gladly trade.

Ruki was silent for a moment.

“You could say that, yes,” he said. “You want to go back home badly, is that it?”

She nodded. Ruki was silent for a while before speaking again.

“I suppose I do know a way to help you achieve that.”

“You do?!”

Too late she realized that she sounded overly eager. She should have played her cards differently. There was no way hiding her desperation now.

“So, how do I turn into Lilith?” she asked, trying to sound calmer and more professional.

She wasn’t entirely sure if she trusted this. However, she figured she could always try and come up with a plan where she got him to bring her home but where she didn’t have to uphold her end of the ‘bargain’. If you could even call it that. Agreeing to turning into something you only knew the name of and had no other information on would be foolish. She’d find this out next, she thought.

Ruki walked over to the armchair opposite to her bed and sat down leisurely. His legs were apart slightly, as if inviting her to take a seat in his lap. What an indecent thought.

“It actually is quite simple, the process might just take a while,” he said.

Chiyo looked at him, hoping he would add to his explanation. And he did.

“You just have to let me suck your blood.”

Chiyo’s eyes widened. Let him suck her blood…? Willingly? And he said the process might take a while, so how many times would she have to let him invade her space and body like that? Not to mention that she had only known bloodsucking as something quite intimate prior to her stay in the human world. It was something she had only known to be done during sex, yes of course other Vampires liked to indulge into these things on other occasions too, but not her! For Chiyo, the only way it was bearable was during such an ecstasy where pain really did not matter that much anymore. As much experience as she might have had in this field... it was not something she wanted to experience with Ruki as of now.

She caught him looking at her expectantly.

She looked back in confusion before it dawned on her:

“Y…you mean, right now?”

“Naturally.”

Chiyo was at a loss again. She thought she was being smart about this, yet here she was, stuck between a rock and a hard place. She sighed in defeat, trying to calm her nerves.

“Fine.”

Ruki gestured for her to sit down on his lap, and she made her way towards him reluctantly, before sitting down on the edge of one of his legs timidly. She didn’t even want to look at him, that’s how embarrassed she was by this.

“Stop acting coy and sit down properly, I am unable suck your blood like this,” he said and pulled her closer, onto his lap.

Chiyo let out a surprised yelp and held onto his shoulders for support. Her breath hitched in her throat when she realized how close they were now. She tried to keep her breathing under control, so her heart wouldn’t beat too much.

“I see your choice in clothing also fits the occasion,” Ruki said.

Today she had chosen to wear a long-sleeved top under her dress. It only had the semblance of a turtleneck, making access to her neck a lot easier.

Ruki tugged on the neck of her shirt, revealing the pale skin underneath. “Lean forward a bit, can you do that?” his voice was softer than usual when he said that. Or maybe that was just her imagination.

She shut her eyes tightly and did as he told her. His breath was warm against her skin, and she had to suppress a sound when his nose brushed against her neck. She could have sworn she felt him chuckle. Would he dislike the natural smell of a half-vampire like her? She hadn’t worn her demon fragrance in a while, and she knew that other Vampires were never quite fond of her scent.

Chiyo gasped when she felt his tongue graze her skin.

“Relax,” he said, “I will be gentle… or at least as gentle as possible.”

Chiyo’s grip on his shoulders tightened and she jerked her head back.

“That really does not convince me at all, you know?”

She sounded like a virgin experiencing physical proximity for the first time in her life. Ruki sighed and moved his hand behind her head, firmly but gently bringing her closer again. He placed his lips on her neck and started kissing it, making Chiyo gasp again.

“Maybe this… will convince you then,” Ruki said between kisses.

Her whole body tensed and started to feel hot. She really didn’t want to answer him, because there was no way in hell, she would admit to it feeling even remotely nice. Yet still she leaned further into him, her body relaxing a little against his. His canines grazed slightly along the spot he was planning to bite, and she let out a whine. How embarrassing that Ruki of all people not only heard her make such a sound but also was the cause of it. His lips curved into a satisfied smirk as he sank his fangs into her neck and started sucking her blood. She whined again.

As the hot liquid running through her veins left her body, she was starting to get lightheaded. Her breathing became ragged, but Ruki was not stopping. Chiyo whimpered. Only then did his fangs retract from her flesh, and she felt him seal the tiny wounds with his saliva, which sent shivers down her spine.

“Judging by that reaction, you did not dislike that at all…” his lips traveled further up her neck and reached her jaw. Why were his lips so soft?

“I– “

Chiyo’s head was spinning, her body urging her to let herself go and just accept this kind of pleasure, feeling the need to press her thighs tightly together in hopes of getting some friction between her legs. Her mind, however, was screaming at her to break away. She dug her nails into his shirt.

Ruki’s hands were steadying her at the waist, and it felt as if finally, someone was giving her a sense of stability. Stability she hadn’t felt in a long while. How easy would it be to just let herself fall. But she couldn’t trust herself; not in a situation like this. Not when her mind was already foggy.

She pulled away.

“I need this to stop…” she said.

Ruki’s eyes as always did not betray what his real thoughts or feelings were.

“Alright,” he simply said and let her go.

Chiyo stumbled onto her feet, legs shaky and threatening to betray her by making her collapse on the floor. Ruki stood up and pushed her gently into the chair. She looked at him gratefully, it was only now that she noticed how out of breath she was.

“I shall find you later, make sure to rest up,” he said before leaving the room.

She sat in silence for a while before she covered her face with her shaky hands.

“Oh God…”

What has she done?

The next few days went by, and, oddly enough, Chiyo started feeling better even though Ruki had been drinking her blood almost daily now. All the coming times felt less intense than the first one, less intimate. However, he still was gentle enough that it didn’t hurt much. Although, she still couldn’t say she enjoyed it.

Eventually, Ruki decided that it was fine for her to go back to school. Not that Chiyo had particularly missed it, but she figured it would be nice to get out of the manor. She was wondering how Yui was holding up, being by herself in the Vampire mansion again.

The Mukami did not have a chauffeur, nor a limousine for that matter. Or if they had, she never saw them use it. They preferred to walk to school during nice weather it seemed. Chiyo was sick of it after they were less than halfway through.

“Honestly, Sow, stop draggin’ yer feet! You’re so weak even for a girl!” She heard Yuma shout at her from the front.

“Lilith… do your… feet hurt…? I could… carry you…” Azusa’s pace was almost as slow as hers, she didn’t think he could carry her even if he really wanted to.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Azusa-kun, we have to go uphill for a bit, there’s no way you could carry her all the way,” Kou said.

Azusa grumbled. “But I thought… getting crushed by the weight of Lilith… would be nice…”

“That makes it sound like I’m fat...” Chiyo complained.

Out of all these people, she knew how to communicate with Azusa the least. He had seemed nice enough; harmless even, until she saw him slashing up his arms with one of the knives from his collection. She couldn’t help but feel weirded out by it.

Yuma’s loud laugh shook her from her thoughts.

“Guess ya have to start workin’ out more!” he said.

The more time she spent around this family, the more she grew accustomed to him. Frankly, from what she remembered about that village boy, he didn’t change much, even after hundreds of years. She almost started to like him. And that was bad, it was really bad because it was her fault his village burned down with all of his loved ones. It was bad, because it had robbed him of his memories, and it had robbed Shuu of all the joy in his life. She really was a horrible person.

Suddenly she felt someone tug her hand.

“Chiyo. Come on, I do not want to be late.”

She looked at Ruki dumbfounded. This was the first time he had called her by her actual name. No guineapig, no Lilith. Just Chiyo. Why did this make her heart race so much?

“Ah… y…yeah…” she allowed her own hand to slide into his and he squeezed it. He didn’t let go until they had reached the school gates.

Chiyo was tired and ready to go home again after they arrived at the school. The thought that she had to walk the whole way back at the end of the day made her feel nauseous already. She was in desperate need of freshening up too, so she made her way to the bathroom.

She was just finishing drying her hands off when she heard a familiar voice call out to her:

“Chiyo-san! Thank God, you’re alive!”

[the-most-humble-blog]

👑 King of the World:

A Love Letter to the Benevolent Tyrant Who Totally Doesn’t Exist 🕳️

“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.” —Some guy. Possibly high. Definitely right.

Let’s play a game.

Let’s say—hypothetically, allegedly, hilariously—that there is a literal King of the World. Not a metaphor. Not a corporate puppet. Not a UN committee member with a PowerPoint on sustainable sand exports.

I mean a real one.

A real-life Sidious in loafers and maybe a cardigan. Someone who smiles for the cameras, kisses babies, pats dogs, and casually decides who disappears in the night because they asked too many inconvenient questions.

You’ve probably never heard his name. That’s the point.

🛎️ The Setup: “He Just Wants Peace”

He’s just an old man. A grandpa, even. He doesn’t understand all this techno-talk and activism. He smiles like a nursing home got personified. He wears wool. His knuckles shake. He says “God bless you” a lot. He’s benevolence wrapped in linen.

Until, of course, you try to vote in a way that meaningfully disrupts the system.

Then suddenly:

Your files are gone

Your phone becomes radioactive

Your friend dies in a motorcycle crash (but he didn’t own a motorcycle)

Your Wikipedia page changes

Your tax record gets flagged

Your entire social circle turns cold overnight

All while his PR team posts a video of him petting a golden retriever.

📂 Strange Coincidences (That Keep Happening to Loud People)

Let’s catalog some real-life “oopsies”:

🔹 Journalists who expose war crimes and end up exiled, imprisoned, or suicided.

(“Suicided” means 2 shots to the back of the head and the note was typed in Comic Sans.)

🔹 Corporate whistleblowers who suddenly get hit by a train.

Or develop a degenerative disease. Or fall down the stairs onto a belt of ammo.

🔹 Leaders who say the wrong thing about the wrong lobby, and the next week they “have a heart attack” while jogging at 5am.

(He was 32.)

🔹 Billionaires who go rogue... and die in a submarine that implodes.

(And the news doesn’t break until the week after it happened.)

Almost like someone wanted a delay buffer so they could quietly write the script before CNN got the footage.

🪞The Devil You Know—But Can’t Prove

No, we don’t know his name. But we know what he does:

He doesn’t hold office.

He doesn’t need your vote.

He doesn’t trend on Twitter.

He doesn’t make speeches.

He makes decisions.

Through private rooms. Through puppet foundations. Through “friendly suggestions” whispered into the ears of presidents who thought they had free will.

🐍 The Kind King with the Knife Behind the Throne

Imagine this:

A man so beloved that even mentioning his name in the wrong tone sends three black SUVs to your grandma’s house.

He doesn’t raise his voice. He just raises his hand—and someone else pulls the trigger.

“I love you, citizen. You’re free to disagree. But if you do, I’ll have to squeeze your soul through your asshole, just to remind everyone else to shut the fuck up.”

And the best part? The punishment doesn’t look like fire and blood. It looks like graceful descent into irrelevance.

You won’t be shot. You’ll be digitally erased.

You won’t be tortured. You’ll be publicly mischaracterized as dangerous, deranged, or deeply unwell.

Because in the empire of silence, character assassination is more efficient than bullets.

🧠 Plot Twist: You Already Suspected This

You’ve seen it in the way dissenters disappear. The way the truth is always delayed. The way freedom looks more like a marketing scheme every year.

You scroll past conspiracies and say, “That’s too much.”

But deep down, your gut is whispering:

“That’s a little too real to be fake.”

📉 People Who Talk Too Much… Stop Talking

Ever notice how when certain voices get loud:

Their podcasts go dark

Their books vanish from shelves

Their assets freeze

Their “crazy ex” suddenly leaks something

Their YouTube gets copyright-striked by someone who doesn’t exist

Their plane has engine trouble

And yet somehow, the King never loses his smile.

🪦 Hilariously Mysterious Deaths: A Quick List of FAFO Victims

“FAFO” = Fck Around, Find Out*

📡 A cybersecurity genius said the NSA was lying. Two weeks later, he “hanged himself” from a doorknob with a shoelace.

🗳️ A politician exposed a global vote-rigging scheme. Collapsed in public. Declared “cardiac arrhythmia.” No autopsy.

📷 A former CIA tech guy tried to leak a vault. He vanished in a foreign country, declared legally dead. At 28.

💰 A billionaire investor warned the Fed was lying. His private jet “went off radar.” Never found. Wife remarried in a month.

Meanwhile, our King is waving in a sweater from a garden somewhere.

🎭 The Power of Kindness… as a Weapon

He doesn’t need to bark. He’ll just have his underlings offer you a deal:

“You can stop talking, keep your family safe, and walk away clean. Or keep talking, and we’ll test how far your spine bends before it shatters. In Minecraft, of course.”

👁️ But Wait—This Is Just Satire, Right?

YES. YES OF COURSE IT IS. THIS IS SATIRE. Totally a joke. Definitely not referencing any real people or regimes or historic events or names.

You’d have to be crazy to believe this kind of thing exists.

A world where one man, or one hidden collective, decides the fate of governments, currencies, lives, and legacies behind the scenes?

Absurd.

A world where “free speech” is tolerated only until it threatens legacy pipelines?

Nonsense.

A world where “democracy” is filtered through billion-dollar PR agencies run by arms dealers?

Silly! Go outside and touch grass!

🏁 Final Word:

If there were a King of the World… You’d never hear him roar. You’d only hear the echo of someone else going silent.

So laugh. Screenshot. Repost with jokes. Because this is definitely satire.

And definitely not a coded warning written in a language polite enough to survive content moderation but sharp enough to slice your brain open sideways.

⚖️ Free Speech Disclaimer: This post is 100% protected by the U.S. Constitution. Any resemblance to real-life monarchs of shadowy power is purely coincidental, metaphorical, and hysterically satirical. You’re crazy for even reading this. Go pet a cat. File your taxes. Smile for the drone.

Or don’t. And watch what happens.

🔥 Reblog if you know the real king doesn’t wear a crown—he wears silence. 💬 Comment if you’ve seen the power structure blink at you through a politician’s smile. 📩 DM if you’ve ever laughed your way through fear. 🔁 Share it before the archive gets wiped for “community safety.”

👁️ This was only Part I. The next piece is already too sharp for public release.

What happens when the King loses patience? What happens when the veil lifts and you see who’s really pulling the smiles?

📂 Part II will drop soon—but only inside the vault: 🔗 patreon.com/TheMostHumble

[mugzymiik]

BugVerse incorrect quotez✨

except its mainly Gold and Bug oopsie daisy

some are pre-apology, some are post-. good luck figuring out which ones are where on the timeline /silly

Pyrare: I'm at a loss for words!

Gold: Despite being ‘at a loss for words’, Pyrare yelled at me for the next 45 minutes.

-

Bug: That sounds super! Doesn’t that sound super, Gold?

Gold: No.

Bug: I think I speak for Gold when I say it sounds really super.

-

Hexalace: I knew this day would come... I saw it on the calendar.

-

Bug: Standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like ‘look at this fucking flower. This flower is taller than I am. This flower is winning and I’m losing.’

Hexalace: Wow, you are not ready to hear about trees.

-

[Gold and Bug are planning to break in somewhere]

Gold: We need to distract the guards.

Bug: Right.

Gold: What are we gonna do?

Bug: I'm gonna break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Gold:

Bug:

Gold: Deal.

-

Gold: It is 6:09.

Gold: I am wondering why I’m still alive.

Gold: Send Wendy’s.

Bug: The whole restaurant?!

-

Gold: Bug, I need some advice.

Bug: You need advice from ME?

Gold: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

-

Gold: Bug, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Bug: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Gold: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

-

Gold: This can’t get any worse. Can it?

Bug: Sure it can - just give me a minute.

-

Tsavorite, in a room with Bug and Gold: It’s calm in here.

Tsavorite: It scares me…

-

Bug: Dude, we can get mythical animals! Maybe I’ll get a penguin!

Gold: Penguins are real.

Bug: That’s the spirit, Gold! They’re real to me too!

-

Bug: My back hurts.

Gold, walking into the room: Take the spine out.

-

Bug, trying to comfort Gold: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Tsavorite: Uh, Pyrare? Gold is in the pool and I don't think he's waterproof.

Pyrare: What?

Cyanide: I think they meant, Gold is drowning.

Pyrare: WHAT?!

(Meanwhile)

Gold: *is drowning*

Bug: OH MY GOD, GOLD! KEEP SWIMMING!

Gold: I can't swim, stupid— *sinks*

Bug: GOLD!

-

Gold: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Bug: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

-

Gold: How petty can you get?

Bug: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

-

Bug: I'm never having a debate with Gold again, he literally started his argument with "Riddle me this.”

-

Hexalace: That's it, you're grounded! Tsavorite, no adventures for you! Cyan, no fighting for you! Bug, no stealing for you! And Gold... oh my god, is there anything that you love?

Gold: Revenge.

Hexalace: No vengeance for you.

Gold: I was going to say "I'll get you for this," but I guess that's off the table.

-

Tsavorite: Who else is hiding in the laundry room trying to listen to Hexalace and Pyrare's convo?

Orange: Me. I'm in the laundry basket.

Bug: I'm in the washing machine.

Gold: I'm in the closet.

Cyan: We accept you Gold. <3

Gold: No I'm literally in the closet.

Cyan: Love is love. <3

-

Gold: I feel so burnt out.

Bug: Don’t worry, it'll be over soon.

Gold: Are you gonna... assassinate me?

Bug: Well not if you’re expecting it.

-

Gold: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Gold: One... two... three.

Bug: ...

Gold: ...

Gold: See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

-

Gold: You have an impressive pain tolerance.

Bug: Thanks, it's the trauma.

-

Gold: Bug, you’ve tried 37 times and you’ve failed every time. Give it a break.

Bug: DO I HEAR “FIRST TRY PART 38?”

-

Gold: What are you doing here?

Bug: I could ask you the same question.

Gold: I live here. This is my house.

Bug: I should probably ask you a different question.

-

Gold: I trusted you!

Bug: Why?

-

Bug: I have a plan.

Gold: I have the hospital and our caretakers on speed dial.

-

Bug: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Gold: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL!

Bug: …Your point?

-

Bug: Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?

Gold: No, I said "Bug, don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset.

-

Bug: You know what’s funny about Gold? He's my brother, and anyone who’d hurt him is someone I’d murder, probably.

-

Bug: How does one turn their emotions off?

Gold: Okay, so first go to settings.

Gold: I'm an idiot, I thought that said emojis at first.

Bug: No, I'm still willing to try this, go ahead. I'm at settings, what do I do next?

-

Bug: Something’s off.

Gold: Maybe you’ve finally developed human emotions and feel bad for hurting me.

Bug: No, but that’s funny.

-

Bug: Gold told me to stop being immature, so I told him to get out of my fort.

-

Gold: I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are.

Bug: Okay?

Gold: …

Gold: …

Gold: Actually it’s gonna bug me if I don’t, so—

-

Hexalace, staring at Gold in a cage: ...Why is he in a cage?

Bug: Because he hissed at me.

-

Gold: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Bug: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Bug: I just choose to ignore it.

-

Bug: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Gold: Actually Bug, it’s salt.

Bug: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Gold: Uh Bug, that would be salt.

Gold: *takes salt packer from Bug* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

-

Gold: You disgust me.

Bug: *eating a KitKat sideways* I realize this and don’t care.

-

Bug: So we're gathered here today for a very special reason and I think you'll all agree with me here.

Bug: And if you don't well then fuck you.

Bug: I'm looking at you, Gold, you jealous mop.

-

Tsavorite: I’m so happy two of my favorite people are getting along now.

Orange: Uh, Bug and Gold are not getting along.

Tsavorite: They’re not trying to kill each other.

Orange: You may have a point.

-

Bug: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby?

Bug: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path towards enlightenment. He will take care of us.

Bug: I also want to softhack his circuits.

Gold: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.

-

Bug: I desire moisture.

Gold: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

-

Bug, holding in her laughter: Hey, how do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?

Gold: A glass of water is an inanimate object. Therefore, it's incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic shape language.

Bug:

Bug: Water you doing?

-

Gold, watching one of the other Heroes do something stupid: Bug, you're officially only the second highest risk here.

Bug: Hell yeah! I'm gonna—

Gold: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

-

Bug: I regret nothing!!!

Gold: I regret everything!!!

-

Bug: Look, I’m glad everyone’s on the same page.

Bug: But it’s the last page in a book titled “we’re all going to die”.

Gold: That’s not even clever.

-

Beau: Sorry, who are you?

Bug: Oh, I’m Bug.

Beau: Oh yeah, I’ve heard about you from Gold.

Bug: Are you his friend or something?

Beau: No.

Beau: I’m his therapist.

-

Gold: *casually taking four stairs at a time*

Bug, falling behind, taking two stairs at a time: Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fu-

-

Bug: Seriously, all you do is bitch.

Gold: I happen to bitch the perfect amount for someone in my situation.

-

Bug: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Gold: It’s just you.

[rosetheocto]

Hey! Hope you're doing well.

Firstly, really like your voice for Chi, I can tell why @gnomey22 mentioned it! Secondly, I was wondering if you'd be up for sharing any Failtopia headcanons?

AAAA hello!! and ty for the compliments on the voice! I love sharing the headcanons I have for this series so much, I tried to think of ones for these guys that haven’t really spread around all too much, most of this is a mix of silly and serious lol

headcanons under the cut :0

part of the reason why C!Failboat wasn’t considering the darker implications of having 15/16 year olds getting traumatized in his party until probably after his Wake Up Call is because of what he went through with his family when he was that age. it’s not an excuse, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he kinda internalized/normalized what he went through when he was younger and convinced himself that It’ll Be Fine for these guys to be going through The Horrors since he’s still alive and well after everything (he’s not having a good time)

Simple Bob DESPISES Mar, even after the timeskip and S2. Since Mar has been possessing Hank all this time, that means he’s the one who was responsible for Punnyatta’s death. Bob is never gonna let that go for as long as he lives (also Post Game Isn’t Real HE IS NOT UGLY)

Big Bill has a HUGE birth family, like you go back to their pond or whatever and it’s just a whole flock of ducks just chilling there. they aren’t even built like Bill, they’re just regular normal ducks lmaoo

Orion and Mrs. Oopsie knew each other since high school, and spent most of their time breaking the rules and getting in detention (you gotta pry the idea of a younger Orion being a troublemaker out of my cold dead hands) also they absolutely won prom king/queen together lol

Friend is around 1000 years old when S2 happens, and yes they’re immortal change my mind

Chat is the only one that can properly see Void. why this is? only they know

Chat also listens to BENJIxScarlett and similar… ‘songwriters’ somewhat often. they would 100% jam out to that slop let’s be real

Mar always had somewhat of a feeling that Lee and Hank were the same entity, yknow being in control of his body for decades and all, but tried to brush it off and assumed he was imagining things (huge mistake lmaoo)

Shrimp likes to occasionally invite other members of The Incident onto her livestreams after S2, (she let Chat in once. never again.) No matter who it is though the chaos that ensues during these streams will never not be entertaining

Erica and Bo’s relationship 100% reminded Orion of him and his wife’s when they were younger (Mrs. Oopsie was def a vampire before she got sent to Dr Pepper Hell trust me bro)

S2 Dark Curse is Dr. SHOOK!!! (this is canon trust me)

Chi has helped on stage effects for Shrimp’s concerts alongside Bill surprisingly often. Lanc has also chipped in occasionally, but it’s mainly Chi and Bill that do the heavy lifting

Mar has kept a good amount of his Dark Curse powers in S2, but he unfortunately had his strength reduced by Kazoo Man enough to where he can’t just snatch the faces back from the Mystery Curse on his own

I promise I have WAY MORE (for both seasons) I’m just tired and my brain is fried lol, again tysm for the ask!! :D

[froizetta]

WIP Wednesday: a slightly shamefaced return

It's been approximately 7000 years since I last actually did a WIP Wednesday post, but here's to hoping I can (somewhat) get back in the habit! This is an excerpt from chapter 7 of (Love) Triangles - which will be posted soon btw.

This scene follows straight on from chapter 6, when Superman does an oopsie and collapses from kryptonite exposure. If anyone's been on tenterhooks for the past wondering what happens to him after that, then here's your answer! Spoiler: he's mostly fine.

When Clark drifted groggily and resentfully to consciousness, the first thing he saw was the impenetrable, gunmetal gray of sheet metal.

He felt his face twitch painfully in something that wanted to be a frown. His bedroom ceiling wasn’t covered in sheet metal, last he checked. Neither was his room back in Smallville, or the old break room at the Planet with the good couch.

Where was he?

He tried to sit up, but his limbs were heavy and clumsy. The sudden pain the movement sparked in his head made him collapse back down onto the…bed? That definitely wasn’t his bed either, the mattress was too hard and the pillow too soft and un-lumpy.

“Ohmygod. You’re awake?”

Clark blinked once, twice, then mustered the energy to creak out a, “Yeah, I’m awake. Where am I?” Only he ran out of energy midway through, and his throat was dry enough that his voice was rebelling against him, so it came out as a hoarse, “Yeah m’wake. Wuh?”

Thankfully, the owner of the voice didn’t seem to mind. “You’re awake!” Whoever it was, they sounded excited. Clark heard rapid footsteps, then the too-loud sound of a door slamming open. He winced. “B, get over here, he’s awake!”

The door closed by itself with a click, and he was alone again. God, his head was pounding. He always forgot how much headaches sucked until they happened. He didn’t get them very often, what with the invulnerability and everything. In fact, he only ever got them after he’d—

Oh. That was it. Kryptonite.

The memories were still hazy, but they were coming back to him now. Luthor’s underground lab. The argument, the gunshot, Robin screaming from inside, the soft crinkle of concrete beneath his fingertips. Batman on the floor, Robin mid-dive, the guard with his gun raised, the squeeze of the trigger. He could feel his strength draining even as he moved at super speed, pushed, pushed, pushed, crumpled the gun in his fist, flew Batman and Robin out of there, carefully knocked out the two guards and then a third so she couldn’t raise the alarm. Fast, faster, before he ran out of strength. He’d made it outside to find Batman hugging his protégé tight to his chest, both of them alive and well. Whatever tension had carried him through all that snapped, seeing that. His promise was fulfilled. They were safe.

He remembered watching them for a time, remembered feeling that warm ache he most associated with friends’ weddings and feel-good movies. Remembered the pain and nausea only getting worse with time instead of better, Batman staring at him with blank bewilderment, and then…nothing. Waking up here.

But if that voice he’d heard belonged to who he thought it did, that meant…

“You’re awake.”

Clark ignored the ache in his limbs and head and pushed himself to a sitting position. “Batman! You brought me here?”

Batman handed him a glass of water, which Clark accepted gratefully. “I did. How are you feeling?”

Clark grimaced. He felt weak, he hurt everywhere, and his senses were practically human level. The world felt disconcertingly quiet.

Coming off kryptonite was never fun.

“Not great,” he said. “But getting there, I think.” His eyes dipped to Batman’s chest, where he knew the bullet had hit him earlier: the two cracked ribs near his right elbow, the nasty bruise that had undoubtedly formed over it while he’d been unconscious. “How’s your injury?”

“Seen to. Worry about yourself, you’re the one on the gurney,” Batman said coolly, which Clark thought was kind of missing the point. All Clark needed was some sun and he’d be right as rain. He wasn’t in any real danger, not anymore; Batman’s cracked ribs would take weeks to heal.

He glanced around. The room he was in looked like some kind of medical suite, sterile and silver-white with tiled flooring and a row of neat cupboards on the far wall. Assorted medical equipment was scattered around the room, as well as a small fleet of lamps, all switched on and aimed at him. UV lights?

“Were those your idea?” he asked. When Batman didn’t respond, he clarified, “The lamps. You were trying to give me solar energy? To help me heal?”

There was a brief pause then a nod. “Yes. I thought it would help.”

“Well, you were right,” Clark said. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you know that much about Kryptonians.” Not that Clark had ever made a point of mentioning his reliance on solar radiation, but he hadn’t really been trying to hide it either. Batman had probably pieced it together from interviews or something.

He looked over at Batman. He was still hovering by the doorway, as if unsure whether to come in, though his face and body language were as unreadable as ever.

“Thank you,” Clark said with a smile – or an attempt at one, at least. The result felt a little more strained than he’d hoped. “For taking me to safety and for doing your best to help me heal. I appreciate it.”

“You helped me. I’m just returning the favor,” Batman replied equitably and gestured to the lamps. “But this setup is just my best guess at what would help you. Is there anything else you need?”

“Light in the lower end and mid-range of the visible spectrum is also helpful,” Clark said. “But honestly, this is enough.”

Batman nodded. “Noted.”

“Oh, and it works better if I’m naked.”

There was a pause. Batman’s fingers twitched.

“Naked,” he repeated.

“Yes. Or at least less clothed. It’s easier for my skin to absorb the light directly,” he explained. “So if there’s a next time – which hopefully there won't be – taking my suit off would be more efficient.”

Another pause. Then Batman cleared his throat. “I’ll…keep that in mind,” he said in that low rumble of his. “You don’t need anything else?”

“No, not really, I think I—”

And of course, Clark’s stomach chose that moment to make a low growl. They both looked down at it, and then back up. Batman’s look was particularly pointed.

“Well,” said Clark, slightly sheepish, “now you mention it, I guess I could do with some—”

“Food.”

“If it’s not too much trouble.”

Batman nodded briskly. He was already gone before Clark could even so much as offer a polite thank you.

[oswanily]

Yearly recap 9 posted while I was playing and finishing year 11... I'm two whole years ahead. And I still have 3 households to play before the end of rotation 8 which is when the BACC will be paused (I will probably go back to it eventually) and the Ultimate Decades Challenge will start.

All this to say, it might be 2024 when the UDC starts posting. Oopsie.

The UDC will be set in France, and I am changing the rules to reflect that, so I'll probably take a break in between the two challenges just so I kinda know what I'm doing before starting.

If nobody has ever done a French UDC, there must be a reason, and that reason is RESEARCH. Just finding a period-accurate list of french 1300's names took me over an hour (thank you for your contribution, historical roleplayers website whose name I forgot). And that's not mentioning I have never played medieval or historical, never played legacy-style for very long, never used pose player and most of the mods I'll be using...

Yep, learning will be needed, so don't worry, by the time I'm actually ready to start playing, the posts will have caught up.

Also, if you're wondering why I always talk about like a billion different things in my text posts, it's because I prefer making one long post with my whole train of thoughts over like 3-4 shorter ones. But if you don't like it just tell me and I'll do it differently.

[straydogofhv]

I didn't forget about this blog! I am moving it to my new account. I'm not able to respond to any notifications/messages that have gone unread for the last few months until further notice. I've been on a mental health break/hiatus from most of the internet and never even checked on this account until now. Oopsie

I'm planning to remake this blog as a sideblog on my new account. I will post it here when i'm done! I'm still in the fandom, I just stopped using this account because I mostly post on mobile and find switching accounts to be annoying. I'd rather just make straydogofhv into a sideblog. Will update when I can! I'm really busy lately and have been on hiatus from my blogs for personal reasons in the last few months.

I would reveal my main account now but i've been dealing with literal cyberstalking from some random teenagers so i don't want people to find this blog through tumblr search and harass me or make malicious comments/reblogs to "rage bait" me. lil rant about "ragebaiters" below cut

Sincerely, FUCK people who ragebait people for fun because they think it's funny to do to autistic people. It's just "trolling" rebranded to make it seem acceptable. The same people that harassed me and tried to "rage bait" me into getting angry at them so they could have a laugh are literally racist and antisemitic. They weaponized people's trauma as a "joke" because they think being a horrible human being makes them look edgy and cool. Typical bs you see all the time when you commit the horrid unforgivable crime of being Cringe on the internet

I'm so glad i graduated HS last year because these kinds of people were even worse to deal with in person when you looked/acted visibly "different". Like ok I guess you kin Biff Tannen but go ahead scream "EMOOOO!!!" at me for being goth and autistic idgaf lol. I'm not confrontational with these people anymore, thankfully. Learned real quick that it just fuels them since they admitted they like seeing me angry. So now I just take steps to stop them from finding me and figuring out new loopholes to message me. I'm now over my Chicken arc, if you will 😭

They called my Bewitched gif of Endora using a vanishing spell a "facebook gif 🥀 " (full quote) when i sent it before leaving the harassment chat they somehow added me to so here's a very fitting BTTF gif out of spite (i love using fandom gifs all the time no one can take them from me. i am cringe i am free and im from this country: 🏳️‍⚧️ 🦅)

[bad-draft-stuff]

Det. au 19

Arsé-kun: *Arséne isn't even at his desk. He said the time he was going to go over notes, and he didn't even bother to show up to his own office. He just left a single sheet of paper there and left. Classy!*

Sheepy: Nyar: Wonder what this is...a love letter, I bet! Sheepy: *Nyar reads it* Arsé-kun: *It's a few notes from the last few days, and I do mean a FEW. It's barely even a paragraph of notes, compared to his usual. Ahem. "Notes! -Some kid found a sword. I am personally keeping out of this one, I have enough work to do. Someone else can deal with Griflet and his friends until I am actually done with my cases. Good luck!! PS: The gem Sherlock may or may not have currently was Not Stolen and is legal. Shocking but true. Good luck x2* Sheepy: Nyar: Huh. Sheepy: Nyar: That's boring. Sheepy: *Grif smashes the door open* Arsé-kun: Germain: I believe it's considered polite to knock before opening the door, but your efforts are noticed. May we help you? :) Sheepy: Grif: I will knock it down next time. Arsé-kun: Germain: Please do not. It costs money to repair. Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Germain: It only means lightly making a sound against the door, so occupants know to let you in. It's polite. Arsé-kun: Germain: Either way, too late for that now. What brings you here, Sir? Sheepy: Grif: If I critical, you will have no door. Sheepy: Grif: My cousin has a bad memory. Arsé-kun: Germain: *he just looks at Nyar* He always like this? Sheepy: Nyar: He beats me up for fun and isn't easy to understand. Arsé-kun: Germain: I see. Sheepy: Nyar: What eldritch abomination is your cousin today? Sheepy: Grif: He's a human. Sheepy: Nyar: Disgusting. Arsé-kun: Yog: *faintly* no you Sheepy: Nyar: Yog, can you be clearer than him? Arsé-kun: Yog: What's this? You're being semi-decent about this? Who enabled relationship hacks? *he's kidding* Sheepy: Nyar: If I wasn't he'd turn me into a balloon animal and give me to a child like the clown he is. Arsé-kun: Yog: I have no argument. I can't deny this at all. Arsé-kun: Yog: I'll summarize what I CAN give you. Sheepy: Nyar: Great, go on. Arsé-kun: Yog: His cousin's problem is completely unnatural. Whether this is due to his beyond normal age or an outside factor I cannot say. It has no consistency, seems to have no trigger, and has been studied by skilled mages for years with nothing to show for it. It has, however, gotten worse, forcing the mage in charge of this to reach out for help. Mages tend to be incredibly stubborn- You know this. Sheepy: Nyar: So I'm supposed to fix it? Sheepy: Nyar: What do I get out of it? Arsé-kun: Yog: Not my place to say. You tell me how this will go. Sheepy: Grif: I will snap you in two like the twig you are. Arsé-kun: Yog: ... And that. Sheepy: Nyar: Scary... Sheepy: Nyar: So I can choose my reward? I can, can't I? Sheepy: Nyar: Because maybe I just don't feel like it. Arsé-kun: *background merlin complaints @grif for threatening everyone already* Sheepy: Nyar: Hmmm... Sheepy: Nyar: Hey, I know. You'll have a tough time finding this, so listen close. Sheepy: Grif: I am listening very close. Sheepy: *Grif inches closer to Nyar.* Sheepy: Grif: Closer, closer. Arsé-kun: Germain: Are you going to do what I think you're doing, Nyar? Sheepy: Nyar: Maybe I am! Sheepy: Nyar: Now listen to me young man. I am talking directly into your ear now. I need you to do me a favor. You will do this for me. I need you to go to Gamestop, and I need you to ask the man working the counter if they have Bambi on the PS2. If you come back empty handed, you'll be in big trouble, Griflet. You will never see the light of day. Arsé-kun: *Merlin absolutely loses his shit. Catastrophic composure failure. Thank you, master-class mage.* Sheepy: Grif: [Quest added: Oh Deer! Try not to Forget!] Arsé-kun: *Yog appends a ;) at the end* Sheepy: Grif: Bambi....... Sheepy: Grif: Baaaaaa~ Arsé-kun: Tom: Baaaaaaaa Sheepy: Nyar: Wrong animal! Sheepy: Grif: Beeeehhhh. Sheepy: Grif: I will go. Sheepy: *Grif walks out* Sheepy: Nyar:...Oh shoot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, you're about to get Bambi on the ps2! How do you feel? Sheepy: Nyar: Afraid. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Ain't that a shame. Sheepy: Nyar: So, it's the wimp next to you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I don't have the time to argue about this sort of thing. Sure, it's the man with me. Sheepy: Bedi: Actually, that's not my name...is Deewimp a nickname based on Bedwyr? Sheepy: Nyar:......... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ...... No, dear. Sheepy: Bedi:....? Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, cheer up. Fine, gimme a sec. Sheepy: *Nyar heads over to Bedi and puts his hand on Bedi's forehead* Sheepy: *Nyar seems deep in thought...* Sheepy: *...before looking to Merlin* Arsé-kun: Merlin: *this is concerning* Sheepy: Nyar: Is this a prank? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: His memory's perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That can't be right, but if you're the expert... Sheepy: Nyar: His brain's fine. Sheepy: Nyar: Sheesh, have you been trying to fix it this whole time not even knowing the issue? Sheepy: Nyar: You just take a hammer ti everything that vaguely looks like a nail? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I prefer a screwdriver myself, but do you think I haven't been trying? Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, not natural memory loss. Arsé-kun: *Merlin squints real hard* Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd have caught it by now if it was. Sheepy: Nyar: Yeah, well, that's a you a problem. Sheepy: Nyar: It's a curse, meaning that I can't fix it. Sheepy: Nyar: Not my area of expertise. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he looks more annoyed than he initially did* Sheepy: Nyar: I'd just put one curse in to combat the other and break everything, so I shouldn't be the one to fix it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Well, you did help still. What kind of reward were you promised? Sheepy: Nyar: I want a bagel. Sheepy: Nyar: But what, did you not know? Then who'd he get it from if not you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I really didn't, no. Why would I need help if I knew?? *but he seems puzzled* Sheepy: Nyar: Any ideas? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Yeah, I might. Watery tart. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, that's your next destination! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hell no! That's how I die! Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? Sheepy: Nyar: Then how're you going to fix it, huh? Sheepy: Bedi: Vivian has always been nice to me, so I can't understand why she would curse me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: To get at me, I bet...! Sheepy: Bedi: I suppose curses do not come with watermarks. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe. We won't know unless we ask her. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can if you're careless, but that's not here nor there. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Nope. You see the shit the other two are in? I like where I am, thanks! Sheepy: Nyar: Oh, your friends were cursed but you weren't? Sheepy: Nyar: Or is yours just minor? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm fairly sure I was. We can't really detect them, but they're all obvious. One of us is restrained to a location, one of us has a bad time whenever we see hot people, one of us starves real easy. Not giving which is which! Sheepy: Nyar: You're the third one 'cause you're here and not dying from my presence. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd be a matter of opinion, wouldn't it? Sheepy: Nyar: So the guy with you isn't hot? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ..... No, that's Bedi. Sheepy: Nyar: Ouch. Sheepy: Nyar: Well, it's okay, Grif's Cousin, I'm sure you'll find someone who finds you attractive one day. Sheepy: Bedi: ? Why would I care about people finding me attractive...? As long as the King considers me his knight, my appearance isn't too important... Sheepy: Nyar: So this King is more important to you than anything, huh? Why not date him? Sheepy: Bedi:...? I'm married. And besides... Even if I were not, a lowly knight like myself could never receive such love from his King. I would never be good enough for him, nor to deserve even a smile from my King. Sheepy: Nyar:.....Sheesh, you've got a low self esteem. Sheepy: Nyar: I thought you'd be fun to tease, but you actually already think you're an insignificant wimp... Sheepy: Nyar: But hey! At least your hubby's the kind of guy to date anyone. He isn't picky! Right, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I don't "date" anyone else. Good try. Sheepy: Nyar: I wasn't calling you dishonest, I was saying you had no standards. Which makes you two perfect for each other! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're just mad because you're below them, aren't you? Sheepy: Nyar: Eh? I've got a boyfriend. Why would I want to date you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, you understand loyalty even when you have another hundred faces to use? What a riot. Sheepy: Nyar:? What would cheating do for me? Arsé-kun: Merlin: More chances to fuck with people? I don't know what you do for a day job. Sheepy: Bedi: But Merlin makes me happier than anyone... Are standards truly so important? He already fulfills mine... Sheepy: Nyar: I do many things! Arsé-kun: *Merlin appreciates you, Bedi! <3* Sheepy: Bedi: My King makes me feel fulfilled and proud. Merlin makes me feel safe and at home wherever I go, so long as we are together. My love for them is very different. Sheepy: Nyar: You're really no fun at all!!! Arsé-kun: Arséne: Please do not terrorize guests in my office. *where the FUCK was this guy?* Sheepy: Nyar: Aw, shaddup, they were here for me, not you, so I can terrorize them wherever I want! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you for your assistance the other day with my King, Lupin. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Quite welcome. I might be able to help you in the future for whatever, but not now. Sheepy: Bedi: I appreciate your offer. For now, we are fine. Sheepy: Bedi: I may be of assistance as well, depending on your problem. Arsé-kun: Arséne: Good to hear, because I have several cases open at once and I'm not having fun. I don't think I'm legally allowed to take on assistants for most of them, but I appreciate it. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if there's anything legal I can do for you... Arsé-kun: Arséne: Then I'll let you know. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Nyar gets his bagel, meanwhile. reward get. 2x bagel* Sheepy: Nyar: Thanks! Arsé-kun: *Impey fingerguns and goes back to his territory. the kitchen* Sheepy: Nyar: What a good pal! Arsé-kun: *meanwhile!* Sheepy: Grif: —We’re meeting your mom? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. I was asked, and this is something I can still do. Sheepy: Grif: You should meet my dad one day. He’s green. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Which one? Sheepy: Grif: Dragon. You killed two of his children but he doesn’t hold grudges. It’s fine. Arsé-kun: Lance: O-oh. Sheepy: Grif: He should be waking soon. Unfortunately, eating livestock and burning down villages is no longer considered socially acceptable so he’ll probably just go to a restaurant. Arsé-kun: Lance: We may have to inform him before he tries. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. We can visit him later. He likes you. Sheepy: Grif: But he isn't awake yet... Arsé-kun: Lance: Unfortunate. Sheepy: Grif: Is your mom nice? Sheepy: Grif: I know Merlin fears her. Arsé-kun: Lance: I thought it was only Myrrdin. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Then why doesn't he talk to her instead of asking you? Arsé-kun: Lance: .. That is a good point. Sheepy: Grif: But she's nice, right? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Good. Sheepy: Grif: Elyan will like her too. Arsé-kun: Lance: I hope she does too. Sheepy: Grif: Are we close? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Great. I will do my best. Arsé-kun: Lance: Please don't call my mother anything weird. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... Sheepy: Grif:...But if Itry not to, I'll get flustered and will... Arsé-kun: Lance: Then just don't use a name. I guess. Sheepy: Grif: If she's really cool, though...like you...Uh... Sheepy: Grif: *he's visibly flustered* It was hard enough to work up the courage to talk to you...If your mom's cooler.. Sheepy: Grif: I might cry... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Sheepy: Grif: Very kind of you to offer to absorb my tears, Elyan. Arsé-kun: *Lance leads Grif into a clearing. There is a lake- A much larger, cleaner lake than the last one he saw. It's very colorful here, with a little bit of that morning mist. Something is a little off, but it's fae territory, so it will be like that.* Sheepy: Grif: Ah...it's pretty. Sheepy: Grif: Very nice... Arsé-kun: Lance: It is. Arsé-kun: Lance: I just hope Mom is actually here. Sheepy: Grif: Does she leave her lake? Arsé-kun: Lance: Yeah, sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Like Elyan. Sheepy: Grif: What do we do if she isn't here? Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't know. Wait around? Take a nap? Sheepy: Grif: I like naps. Sheepy: Grif: Especially in nice places. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe she doesn't know we're here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, maybe.. Sheepy: Grif: We can call for her. Sheepy: Grif: *he clears his throat* Helloooo? Arsé-kun: *Several woodland animals look up. They then go back to their own business.* Sheepy: *Elyan holds his head up to the sky, craning his neck. He outstretches his wings, opens his mouth...and...* Sheepy: Elyan: HEWWO??? Arsé-kun: *The water bubbles, and a very pretty woman rises out of the lake. It's an almost ethereal experience until she throws a wrench at Elyan for his crimes on her territory* Sheepy: *Elyan responds to being hit by a wrench by doing what peacocks do best: screaming. Loudly* Sheepy: Grif:...! *he's awestruck!* Arsé-kun: *She casually strolls across the lake's surface, gradually turning from water to something more human, a big smile on her face and the intent to kick a bird* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Welcome and good morning, brave knights. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...uh... *he's visibly flustered* Sheepy: Elyan: *he turns into a puddle before shifting into a knight-like form. Something about the armor is eerie...* Sheepy: *...Perhaps the fact there's nobody inside it?* Arsé-kun: *Vivian wordlessly grabs Elyan's collar and throws him back into the lake. Unimportant* Arsé-kun: Lance: *he's been debating what to say, as to look good and--* Hi, Mom! I brought Grif! *nailed it* Sheepy: *Elyan melts* Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: I'm Griflet. It's nice to meet you, Mom. Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: !!! Sheepy: *Grif quickly realizes his mistake. He's begun panicking...* Sheepy: Grif: I-I...! It was the first name I thought of!! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she just lightly pats his head* I don't mind. It does happen sometimes. Sheepy: Grif: Uh...But... I should know your name. Sheepy: Grif:...But I don't. Sheepy: Grif: However... I do know. Sheepy: Grif: You are a [Quest NPC]. Arsé-kun: Vivian: neat Sheepy: Grif: Let me see the options. Sheepy: Grif: >Tell me of this "Bambi" creature. Arsé-kun: Lance: Wh... Bambi's just a deer from some kid's movie. Why are you bringing that up now..? Sheepy: Grif: Nyarlathotep told me to find Bambi on the Playstation 2. Arsé-kun: Lance: Doesn't exist. Sheepy: Grif: ...! Sheepy: Grif: But...His reward for figuring out why Bedivere had memory loss was Bambi on the Playstation 2... Sheepy: Grif: Why did Merlin not stop me, I wonder. Sheepy: Grif: Right, that is why we are here...How do we fix it... Sheepy: Grif: But my Courage is too low to not get flustered... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Hm? Something happened to Bedivere? I liked that one.. Sheepy: Grif: He lost all of his memories yesterday after apparently struggling with memory problems for a while. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin blames you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... *she seems to be thinking* ... And what kind of state was that rat of a man in? *she means Merlin* Sheepy: Grif: He seemed perfectly fine. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she frowns* And the other two? Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, uh, Meril is trapped inside that tree... Still. Sheepy: Grif: Myrrdin is cursed. Sheepy: Grif: He suffers when he thinks about women. His coping method is to hole himself into his room all day like he did before you cursed him. Sheepy: Grif: If he died in there, it would take a week or two for anyone to start being concerned. Scary. Sheepy: Grif: Simply, the only difference between Meril and Myrrdin in that respect is the fact that one has the choice to leave but simply does not take it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. So two of the curses have stuck even to this day.. But the third... Sheepy: Grif: So your third curse probably has stuck around to this day. Sheepy: Grif: Merlin thought your curse was to make him need to feed on more emotions. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either he had all the attention or he was going to. I figured it would do him good to get a reset and suffer along the way... Arsé-kun: Vivian: I did no such thing as that. Sheepy: Grif: So it hit the wrong person. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It unfortunately does appear so. Sheepy: Grif: How can it be fixed? Sheepy: Grif: He is important to future quests most likely. Arsé-kun: Vivian: If those excuses for mages were not able to get rid of it by now, I'm not sure I would be able to either. But I would certainly have to try. Sheepy: Grif: Meril could be, too... But Myrrdin is useless to me. He charges higher prices for his services than many less convenient shopkeepers do and his bond only unlocks more items and services that are most likely too expensive. He occasionally snapped at me when I entered his room, too, back in Camelot. He can stay cursed, even if it would give me a few bond levels if I lifted it. Sheepy: Grif: I can try punching him until the curse leaves. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ugh, HIM! Yes! He never left unless he was forced out, and even then he was expecting people to just... Treat him like royalty! Arsé-kun: Vivian: So yes, please, punch him until it works. I will pay you to see it. Sheepy: Grif: He complains about how busy he is but doesn't even do the dirty work. He would sometimes send me off to get ingredients for him and have such vague descriptions that I would return with the wrong thing and he'd snap at me... Yes. I will punch him. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ADDED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: Sometimes he wouldn't even remember that he asked me to do something in the first place and then drag me in to socialize with him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please tell me he's learned his lesson by now..! Sheepy: Grif: Uh... Sheepy: Grif: He seems lonely but still rarely leaves home because he's afraid. Especially around lakes. He refuses to get near bodies of water. Sheepy: Grif: He told me that the last time he tried leaving the house alone, he bumped into a serial killer who tried to crucify him and ended up in a hospital right next to a mind controlling slug. Sheepy: Grif: He hasn't changed his behavior at all, the reasons have just changed. Arsé-kun: Lance: Oh, that's true. It really did happen. Coworker knew the guy that did it. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... And the slug, but this isn't about that!! Sheepy: Grif: The slug is slimy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I have been wondering about him.. But yes, this really is off topic. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Making him afraid of going out was not the intention. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Then again, I may have underestimated his ability to flirt with everything that moves. Sheepy: Grif: There's nothing to flirt with in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: He'd find a way. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: That is why I must punch him until he's a decent person. Arsé-kun: Lance: Maybe.. Maybe at least stop if he gets too injured? Sheepy: Grif: Is he so weak not to be able to handle a hundred punches? Arsé-kun: Lance: From you? Yes, likely. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: Grif: He can have an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: He will realize my mercy and give me bond points. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most importantly, if you can bring Bedivere here, to me, without any of those wizards, I will try to remove it. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. I will do so. Sheepy: Grif: [QUEST ACCEPTED: Fixing Past Mist-lakes] Sheepy: Grif: Certainly, Merlin will trust me not to drag him in a side quest and end up with us both locked in a dungeon like the last time. Sheepy: Grif: The food was subpar and my other quest was timed so I broke out to finish my other quest and then returned to the dungeon (with a very unhappy Bedivere in tow) Arsé-kun: Lance: I trust you'll have a plan if it doesn't go so easily? Sheepy: Grif: ? Sheepy: Grif: Dismember Merlin. Arsé-kun: Lance: Bedivere wouldn't like that. Sheepy: Grif: Knock him out? Arsé-kun: Lance: Still not healthy, but better. Sheepy: Grif: ... Sheepy: Grif: Throw him into my inventory? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. He would still be here. Sheepy: Grif: Bill. How high is your Charisma? Arsé-kun: Lance: I have no idea. Not as high as it used to be. Why? Sheepy: Grif: You can lose Charisma...?! Sheepy: Grif: But mine is already so low... Arsé-kun: Lance: I don't think you can go negative.. Sheepy: Grif: Uh... I was thinking about distraction. Sheepy: Grif: But that wouldn’t work. Sheepy: Grif:..... Sheepy: Grif: Are you ready? Sheepy: Grif: My newest plan... Arsé-kun: Lance: I suppose so.. Sheepy: Grif: We swap roles. You bring Bedivere here. I bring Merlin on a quest and get us thrown in a dungeon. Arsé-kun: Lance: .... You know? That might work. Sheepy: Grif: We need to find a dungeon now. Sheepy: Grif: But where? Sheepy: Grif:...We can figure it out later. Arsé-kun: Lance: I'm just glad we have some kind of plan, at least. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why is Merlin banned, anyway? You can put the curse on the right person if he comes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't want to see him. Sheepy: Grif: Three quests... Good. Back in action. Sheepy: Grif: Let's work hard. Arsé-kun: Lance: Yes, lets! Sheepy: Grif: You can come too. Sheepy: Grif: Unless you don't want to. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well, I certainly have to come part of the way, at least. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif drags Lance off to go find a dungeon.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian waits a few moments, and then goes back to the water to scoop Elyan out* Sheepy: Elyan: *Despite his watery form, he seems confused and concerned. Was he forgotten? Did he miss a cue and was supposed to stay for some super secret reason?* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't look so sad at me. He'll be right back. Sheepy: Elyan: *This doesn't seem to make him any less anxious. Is he not a good enough partner?* Arsé-kun: *Elyan gets pet* Sheepy: *Elyan calms down a little. He appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: *We then cut ahead to our current heroes arriving at the bar* Arsé-kun: Merlin: --But no! A forklift cannot lift another forklift WHILE it's being lifted! Physics don't work that way! Sheepy: Bedi: What...? Does it lose its lifting tool as it's being lifted? Sheepy: Bedi: So they could not be used as a staircase to the heavens then? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's lifter would be too high up to reach the bottom of the other forklift, first off, and second off no! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: *Merlin groans, and busts out the hot wheels forklifts to demonstrate exactly how this does not work* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ---And anyway, you'd also have to account for more than just the forklifts. The weather, the wind direction and speed, airplane flight traffic, space rocks, who knows! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you stack a whole shitton of them like a staircase, and have enough counterbalance at the bottom, then MAYBE?? Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Why use those when you can just try to be shot out of a cannon? Arsé-kun: Merlin: No! Absolutely not! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You would die before you even hit the stratosphere, or you wouldn't make it that far! This isn't Kirby, you can't escape the planet's velocity with a cannon! Or this tree apparently, but that's a different story and we're not telling it! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And yes, hello, Sir Knights, what brings you here this time?? Sheepy: Grif: You. Come here. I need you. Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet, you should use "please" and greet us before you ask for something. Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Grif: [Your Charisma isn't high enough to do that.] Sheepy: Bedi: Um... Sheepy: Bedi: We can work on it. Okay? Sheepy: Grif: [You have unlocked Charisma Tutor.] Arsé-kun: Lance: Outside of that, Sir Bedivere, I believe I have found a place that would work excellently for our sparring. Arsé-kun: Lance: While it was originally Sir Griflet's idea, as he is busy with several quests, I figure it would be best if we scoped it out beforehand. Arsé-kun: Merlin: One of which apparently needs me? Why? Sheepy: Bedi: Really? Excellent work! Sheepy: Grif: Why do you need reasons behind actions? Sheepy: Grif: Stop looking for logic. Sheepy: Bedi: You should be more polite and simply say you don't know. Sheepy: Grif: Hm. Sheepy: Bedi: It definitely is...! Arsé-kun: *Lancelot's Best Day in this Century Ever. He saw his Mom AND got complimented. It is a good day to be Sir Lancelot* Arsé-kun: *Yog opens the quest log for Grif to show that yes, Merlin is specifically required for [Quest: A Job Well Done-geon]. It is a requirement* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, gross. Should I not wear my good coat for this? Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Wear what you want. Sheepy: Grif: But if you wear an outfit that makes you as slow as a bad escort quest, I will simply put you into my inventory until I need you. Sheepy: Grif: I do not allow slow escorts. I run into them the whole time or run ahead without waiting for them. Sheepy: Grif: If they get mauled by enemies, well... Sheepy: Grif: It is a failed mission. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... I'm gonna wear the heavy coat. I have a bad feeling we'll be out late. Sheepy: Grif: If it's late enough, I'll swap to my pajamas so I can sleep. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm not even going to explain the problems here. Sheepy: Grif: Do you doubt my ownership of pajamas? Sheepy: Grif: I wear them over my armor. Arsé-kun: Merlin: How? How do you have them? You went right from our time to now. PJs were invented in... Uh. *he stops to look it up* 1870. Sheepy: Grif: I bought them. Sheepy: Grif: You may see them. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I see. You'd been introduced to capitalism. Sheepy: Grif: [Griflet swapped to Dragon Onesie costume.] Sheepy: Grif: *...Despite his claim that there's armor underneath, it's not visible. JRPG costume magic!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wait, this means I can..! Sheepy: Grif: Hm? Arsé-kun: *Merlin swaps to a Fou onesie. with magic. yknow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: :D! Sheepy: Grif: We are coordinated now. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But if you think I'm wearing this in combat, you're so wrong! Sheepy: Bedi: I see! Fursona suits! Arsé-kun: Lance: .... I hate that you know those words in that order. Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin said that there's a convention where you wear your fursona as a suit and interact with other fursonas. Sheepy: Bedi: It's called a furry convention. Arsé-kun: *Griflet's glossary updated.* Sheepy: Grif: [Fur-monology has been added to the glossary.] Sheepy: Bedi: I would like to go to a convention one day. I have heard there are many different types. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But not that one! Nuh-uh, no way! Sheepy: Bedi: Is it problematic. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It gets gross. Sheepy: Grif: Purroblematic. Sheepy: Grif:........ Sheepy: Grif:...Ha. Ha. Ha. Arsé-kun: *Yog sheds a single tear in his anti dimension* Sheepy: Bedi: Gross...? Hmm.. Well, one day we can go to a convention that you choose. Sheepy: Bedi: I know very little on the subject but find them fascinating. Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe if we figure out the cure for their curses, Myrrdin and Meril can come, too. Sheepy: Grif:...! Myrrdin... Sheepy: Grif: I forgot about my quest of beating him to an inch of his life. Sheepy: Grif: I must do that. Sheepy: Bedi: Um, he isn't home... Arsé-kun: Lance: *phew* Sheepy: Grif: Is she picky? Can I choose Merlin or Meril instead? Sheepy: Grif: But they're nice enough...Meanwhile Myrrdin is nice sometimes and sometimes he acts nasty towards me and tells me that I'm bothering him by just being there.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Are you sure that isn't his substitute? Because I'm gonna suplex that guy. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *mac loading icon* Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Who the hell is "she"? Sheepy: Grif: ? Bill's mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I am no longer interested in going outside with you! *you can HEAR the terror in his voice* Thank you! Come again! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: Why? Sheepy: Grif: She's never done anything to you. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... Bedivere, I recommend we go now or we won't get the chance to. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Oh, right! Sheepy: Bedi: Let's get going then. Sheepy: *Bedi begins heading out with Lance* Arsé-kun: *Fou waves him off. Goodbye friend* Sheepy: *Bedi leaves!* Sheepy: Grif: ...And anyway, it is not as though she leaves her lake. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're not going there, right?!? Sheepy: Grif: What? No, of course not. Sheepy: Grif: I don't have any business there. Sheepy: Grif: Nor do you. This isn't an escort quest. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I have to? Sheepy: Grif: What, do you truly fear her that much? Arsé-kun: Merlin: She's scary! Sheepy: Grif: She was nice to me. Sheepy: Grif: I accidentally called her "Mom" and she wasn't bothered by it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wh-why were you even there?? Sheepy: Grif:? You told Bill to meet with her. We bumped into each other and went together. Sheepy: Grif: She told me that Myrrdin would refuse to leave his room and expect to be treated like royalty when he did. I told her that he was mean, ordered me around, and forgetful. Sheepy: Grif: You know, sometimes he'd give me an earful and then I'd return with what he'd asked for and he'd act all cheerful and nice like he didn't remember me. Sheepy: Grif:.....Hmm, hold on a moment. Sheepy: Grif: You said "substitute"...? There is two of him...? Sheepy: Grif:...! Horrible, awful! Why two?! One is bad enough! One is so strict and mean! One acts sweet and funny... although I don't understand his jokes. Which is the substitute? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The mean one! I rag on the copy too, fuck that guy! He's SUCH a prick! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He can do more than two but that's where it stops being fun. They start arguing... Sheepy: Grif: R-really? Sheepy: Grif:...How many do I need to punch? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Really. I need to split myself just to harass him one day-- Uh.. Preferably just the one? Sheepy: Grif: You can split yourself? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I've done it a few times, but not the same way he does. Not as fun for me. Sheepy: Grif:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: But oh, you went with Lancelot, that makes more sense... Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: We visited his mom. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Makes sense. So where was he going now..? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Th...they're...going to, uh, a sparring spot. Like Bill said. Were you not listening? Listen better next time! Arsé-kun: Merlin: No, I really wasn't. I was too angry about physics. Sheepy: Grif:...Uh..Yeah! That's your issue! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But okay. What did you need me for now? Sheepy: Grif:.... Sheepy: Grif: Dungeon running. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hmmm. Oh well. I guess a good dungeon exploration sounds like it could be fun. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Arsé-kun: *Merlin shifts his outfit back to normal and then goes upstairs for some Gear™* Sheepy: *Grif waits patiently* Arsé-kun: *Merlin returns with a big winter coat and Stuff* Sheepy: Grif: Looks warm. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is. But okay! Enough! Onwards before we lose motivation! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif leads the way!* Arsé-kun: *They're briefly spotted by Arséne while loading his grocery shopping into his car. This is the second time I've mentioned it ever bc he doesn't use it much. But here it is necessary. Anyway, he's glad they don't notice bc he's busy doing normal people things* Sheepy: *Especially since Grif is carrying a sword in plain sight* Arsé-kun: *nobody really cares. they've all seen weirder* Sheepy: *true* Arsé-kun: *like the giant lake slug. that was weird* Sheepy: Grif: Here we are. Arsé-kun: *SPEAKING OF LAKE SLUG, he's not here. The caves are though!* Sheepy: Grif: A slug was here once. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So I heard. This place has some bad juju. Sheepy: Grif: It has zombies. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bad start. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: They can cause infections and all sorts of nasty stuff. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Poison damage. Sheepy: Grif: You can heal poison damage. Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: If I don't screw up, yes. Let's just hope it's not necrotic damage too. Sheepy: Grif: Necrotic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Subtype. Rotting damage. From undead. Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: That is concerning. Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's gross. Like no thanks, don't want to be hit by a sharp corpse! Sheepy: Grif: Hmm... Sheepy: Grif: Then what do we do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Explore anyway! You're not gonna let some dead sons of bitches stop you, right? Sheepy: Grif: You aren't coming? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I'm coming, but you're in the lead, chief! Sheepy: Grif:...Right. Sheepy: *Grif goes inside.* Arsé-kun: *it's wet. it's mossy. it's moldy. it's dark and stinky* Sheepy: Grif: Stinky. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Uh oh, stinky. Sheepy: Grif: Let's find loot. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I sure hope there's some! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Let's keep going. Sheepy: *It feels as though they're being followed as they go further in...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin doesn't detect anything. He hates it.* Sheepy: *Something drips on Merlin...* Arsé-kun: *Merlin glances up and puts a hand out. He expects it to just be ceiling moisture.* Sheepy: *There's something similar to a spider leg hovering above him...* Sheepy: *But much more ice-like!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Hey, Grif? Come back here and identify this. Sheepy: Grif:...? Sheepy: *Grif returns to Merlin.* Sheepy: Grif: It's a cave ceiling. Arsé-kun: Merlin: For fuck's sake. How big can monster spiders get? Sheepy: Grif: Very large. Sheepy: Grif: Why? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I just saw a huge spider leg up there for a minute. Sheepy: Grif: I don't see anything. Arsé-kun: Merlin: No shit, it's gone now. Sheepy: Grif: Maybe it was just hungry. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'd like to not be vored by a gigantic arachnid. Sheepy: Grif: Then don't get eaten. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lifechanging. Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Sheepy: Grif: If it's a spider, we just dismember it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's true. All that silk might be good for something! Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif turns around and continues on.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin follows him* Sheepy: *...For a bit, everything goes normal, before... the previously seen spider leg slips into the back of Merlin's shirt! It's cold and wet like ice.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin yelps and takes the dash action to get the FUCK out of dodge* Sheepy: *...Whatever it is is being dragged along with him!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: GRIIIIIIIIIIIFFF! Sheepy: Grif:....? *he looks back* Did you make a friend, Merlin? Arsé-kun: Merlin: IT'S TOUCHING ME Sheepy: Grif: It's panicking as much as you are. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get it off me please, quick! It feels like death's cold hand is reaching down my spine! Sheepy: *Grif pulls off the creature being dragged by Merlin and shows it to him. It's none other than...a headless man with tendrils coming from his back.* Sheepy: Grif: Look, Merlin, he's trembling. You frightened him. Arsé-kun: *That's not very expected or normal. Really* Arsé-kun: Merlin: But he grabbed me first..! Sheepy: *The headless man is rapidly doing different hand motions. It appears to be very panicked sign language.* Sheepy: Grif: You can apologize to each other. Sheepy: ?: ........ "Sorry. It was a prank." Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Was it? ... Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Alright, you really got me. Sheepy: ?: "Where are we?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: We arrrrre under a lake in a cavern system in *someone honks a trunk horn in the right place on the road and it fuckin echos thru the entire cavern. it's incredible.* Sheepy: ?: "I don't know where that is." Arsé-kun: Merlin: W- *this happens a second time. This should not be possible. Water dilutes sound.* Sheepy: ?: "I am new here. I am looking for my family, but my horse has been eaten and my new mount is unruly." Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's rough, buddy. Sheepy: ?: "Are you lost, too?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: A little, but we came down here to explore. Sheepy: ?: "So I can tag along?" Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sure, why not? Sheepy: ?: "Thank you. I don't know my name anymore. Let me see..." Sheepy: *Despite his lack of a head, he seems deep in thought...* Arsé-kun: *Body language and reading emotions (for Merlin)* Arsé-kun: *also apparently he can see despite his lack of head. this poor man* Sheepy: ?: "Well, I think most accurate would be something along the lines of 'Headless Rider of the Sleepy Hollows'." Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he solemnly nods* Ah, yes. The horseless headless man. Sheepy: ?: "Not a horseman anymore. My horse was eaten by a wolf." Arsé-kun: Merlin: Color me surprised. Didn't know a dullahan's horse could be killed to begin with. heepy: Grif: So the wolf must be connected to death in some way, too. Like a demon that consumes souls and prevents them from being able to pass on. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Magical wolf.... Fenrir? Hati or Skoll? Sheepy: ?: "I don't know. He's been letting me ride him for the time being for some reason. He seems stressed." Sheepy: ?: "But he seems to mostly have a taste for humans." Sheepy: Grif: So he is an enemy to slay. Sheepy: ?: ...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now, now. Some dragons eat only humans and you still let them live. Sheepy: Grif: Yes... Sheepy: Grif: So he may not be evil? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Probably not. Why would an animal know better? Sheepy: Grif:....True. Sheepy: *Something is shifting in the darkness...* Sheepy: Grif: Let's keep going. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yes, of course. We wouldn't want to miss any timegated events~ Sheepy: Grif: Yes. Sheepy: *Grif keeps walking.* Arsé-kun: *Merlin starts to follow, then turns back to drag the headless horseless man with them. Logic be damned* Sheepy: *Suddenly, something jumps out from the darkness!* Arsé-kun: *BUT WE DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!!!* Sheepy: Bedi: --This seems like a nice place to spar! Arsé-kun: Lance: I most Certainly said so. *he is proud of himself. look ma he did it* Sheepy: Bedi: You were right! Arsé-kun: *+100 pride. +10 appreciation. This is still the best day of his life so far in the 2000s* Sheepy: Bedi: I've always been fascinated by water because my travels have only lead me across land. Arsé-kun: Lance: And we don't need to go far to clean up. Nobody comes here, we won't get in trouble. Sheepy: Bedi: Incredible...! Sheepy: Bedi: Thankfully, I remembered my sword. Have you forgotten your sword before? It is very embarrassing. Sheepy: Bedi: However, the reason why I know this is not personal experience, but secondhand embarrassment from Lucan. Arsé-kun: Lance: Of course. It happens. .... On the other hand, I had to once fight someone with nothing but a stop sign, and it is very effective. Sheepy: Bedi: I feel as though you could fight using any object as a weapon and havs a good chance at winning. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well! Maybe so now that it's been said! *BEST DAY OF! MY! LIFE* Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! And by sparring, we will both become less rusty. Arsé-kun: Lance: Well then, shall we begin? Sheepy: *Bedi gets ready to spar!* Arsé-kun: *Lancelot is Ready!* Sheepy: *They spar!* Arsé-kun: *It goes in a way. Stupid things are done by all involved. Smart things happen. And then the minute they're too tired to continue, Lance puts his stuff down and throws himself into the lake. Typical Lancelot* Sheepy: Bedi: *huff, huff* ...Good job, Sir Lancelot...! Arsé-kun: Lance: I should be saying that to you, Sir Bedivere..! For being rusty, you did well! Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you. However... If I am not strong enough to protect my King, I must keep working at it. Arsé-kun: Lance: And yourself. You can't usually protect someone if you are dead. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Bedi: I'd never thought of protecting myself. Arsé-kun: Lance: Most ghosts can't use physical objects. If you die, you're probably screwed. Sheepy: Bedi: However, if it bought my King even a second more of life, it would be worth it to me. Arsé-kun: Lance: I can already tell that Merlin would be pouting. Sheepy: Bedi: Ahaha... Yes, I suppose the same would apply for Merlin. Sheepy: Bedi: However, I devoted my life to my King. That is what it should be used for. Arsé-kun: Lance: And you kept with it. How honorable of you. Sheepy: Bedi: But the King passing at the Battle of Camlann makes me think I am too weak to protect him if the time ever came that I needed to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The King's passing was unfortunate, but predetermined. Your loyalty and strength of will shall not go unnoticed any longer. Sheepy: Bedi: What? It was predetermined...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Everyone dies. That is a simple fact of mortal life. It was bound to happen. Do not stress- That you have come this far is such a testament of will. Sheepy: Bedi:...Thank you. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. You are also welcome to come here whenever you'd like. The Excalibur let you handle it for a reason. .. But this is not about that. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Thank you! Sheepy: Bedi:...But what is this about? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I wanted to apologize to you. After all this time, it's been recognized that when I went to curse the three incubi, one of the curses did not land where it was intended. That would most likely be why your memory has degraded so much. Sheepy: Bedi:...! Sheepy: Bedi:...So I protected Merlin unknowingly. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That seems to be the case, yes. Sheepy: Bedi: The fact I was able to protect him brings me joy. *He appears surprisingly pleased!* Arsé-kun: Vivian: How sweet. I still intend to curse him, but it will be on a much more minor level. Because he has not had the needed karma. Bastard. Sheepy: Bedi: “Karma”...? Has he wronged you in some way? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Either way, lets focus on the main priority, that being that you carry the curse you never deserved. Sheepy: Bedi: Can it be broken? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to find out now? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes! Sheepy: Bedi: Ah..I mean, of course. Sheepy: Bedi: But how? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering where my brand of magic works best... How long can you hold your breath for, approximately? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm? Not as long as Sir Kay can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That would be a given. Sheepy: Bedi: My experience with water is minimal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Noted. I'll have Elyan assist you then. Sheepy: Bedi: Elyan is here...? He is never far from Sir Griflet... Arsé-kun: Vivian: And Sir Griflet was here earlier today. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, for a quest to punch Myrrdin... But he was out. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Out of the building or out cold? This affects my response. Sheepy: Bedi: Out of the building. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That is unfortunate. Sheepy: Bedi:....? But him being comfortable enough to leave the home alone is a miracle after he was attacked by a serial killer the last time he went out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I only requested a punch, not a murderous beatdown. Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, the serial killer wasn't Griflet. Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does explain a lot. Sheepy: Bedi: He was running around trying to turn people into art pieces and attempted crucifying Myrrdin. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How... Ironic. I may need to look into this later on. Sheepy: Bedi: Um... what was his name... Sheepy: Bedi: Stephano something. Sheepy: Bedi:...Ah, right, what did you need from me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How long can you hold your breath for, again? Sheepy: Bedi: I don't know. My swimming experience is limited. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do your best. Now, you have several moments to prepare yourself. Sheepy: Bedi: *he inhales sharply* ...I will succeed! Arsé-kun: *Vivian draws near and places a hand on his chest.... Before sharply whipping herself around and dunking him into the lake. Vivian has gains bro* Sheepy: Bedi: --!! Arsé-kun: *She asked for a REASON, Bedivere!!* Sheepy: *And yet, Bedi is having difficulty!* Arsé-kun: *Probably because he got slammed in with a force greater than he expected.* Sheepy: *Thanks to Elyan's help, Bedi didn't drown! But he's tired, dazed, and confused.* Arsé-kun: *This is perfectly understandable, and no one will complain about this. If anything happened in the water, well, Lance doesn't know because he's paid this entire scene 0% attention* Sheepy: Bedi:...Did it...did it work? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly seems like it did, but perhaps I should have been more gentle. Sheepy: Bedi: No. I am fine. ...Just, feeling out of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would let you rest here on the shore, but it is moderately cold... Ah, I know. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Bedi:.....? *he enjoys the warmth, but a question is haunting him...* Sheepy: Bedi:....How did you get a driver's license...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: By signing up for an adult's driving course and going through it. ...And a fake ID. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is a pain. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Bedi: Too bad. Sheepy: Bedi: If they didn't require them, getting groceries would be easier. Sheepy: Bedi:...Groceries...Why does that seem important... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Worry about it once you are home. It sounds like something Merlin forgot to do. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes... good idea. Sheepy: Bedi: I cannot worry about it currently. Sheepy: Bedi: I can worry about it at home. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Try not to stress yourself out. We'll head there in a moment. Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you...I'll try to relax. Arsé-kun: *Vivian pats his head and leaves him in the car to do a few minor tasks* Arsé-kun: *Which include placing Elyan in Bedi's lap to absorb the water, throwing Lancelot on the truck bed (he does not appreciate this bc it is covered in snow), and putting on more truck-appropriate clothes so she doesn't have to drive in her good dress. Overalls n' plaid for the hardworking swordwoman.* Arsé-kun: *and no, no one is allowed to see that last part* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, this is where Elyan ended up...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is. Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Sheepy: Elyan: *honk* Arsé-kun: *Viv honks the truck's horn. Hjonk* Sheepy: Bedi: Griflet will probably return to the cafe after his mission is done... Sheepy: Bedi: Myrrdin should be there by now, too. Sheepy: Bedi: He'll probably be in his room if you want to talk to him. Arsé-kun: Vivian: How exciting. But all right. *she starts her truck and puts her seatbelt on* Get'cher seatbelt on and lets get this show on the road. Sheepy: *Bedi buckles himself in!* Sheepy: Bedi: I am ready whenever. Arsé-kun: *and so, Vivian pulls the truck out of park and Lets Fuckin' Go* Sheepy: *The bar is open as always!* Arsé-kun: *Yes, but she has to PARK FIRST. Inconspicuous parking in front of an empty lot? Harder than it looks probably.* Sheepy: *true!* Arsé-kun: *Lance found dead on the sidewalk somewhere because you generally can't stay on an icy back of a pickup truck. It just doesn't happen* Arsé-kun: *But Bedi and Elyan made it, 100% safe and in one piece!* Sheepy: Bedi: This is our destination. Sheepy: Bedi: *he gets out of the car* Thank you for the ride. Sheepy: *Elyan is already making his way to the door wordlessly* Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're quite welcome. Lets give them a surprise, shall we? Sheepy: *Bedi enters the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: I'm back! Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou're fou! *hello, this bar is run by fou and only fou* Sheepy: *Meril is nowhere to be seen...* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, it's just you today...? Sheepy: Bedi: So Myrrdin is in his room and Meril must be sleeping somewhere. Arsé-kun: *Fou turns around and peers over the bar* Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm... I see. Sheepy: Bedi: Your best bet may be meeting Myrrdin first, then... Sheepy: Bedi: He should be in his room. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, of course he is. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, Meril is most knowledgeable on making drinks and he's asleep. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I don't mind. I would much rather wait until after I've finished for that. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, I understand. Sheepy: Bedi: I think Griflet dragged Merlin somewhere, so he will be out for a while... Arsé-kun: Vivian: That does make this easier. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, Arsé-kun: Vivian: If he kills me, Lancelot gets my truck. I'll be back soon. Arsé-kun: *Viv goes upstairs. It isn't hard to follow the neet-ass stank. That's a joke but he can't be hard to find if he's stationary.* Sheepy: *Especially since his room is labelled!* Arsé-kun: *Vivian considers messing with him, but he's been through enough. She'll be polite to him this time and knock.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he takes a few moments to finish before opening the door. He looks surprised!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... It's serious if you're here to see me. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... ... I'll be blunt, this shit's lasted too long and I'm going to personally remove it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: ...? But I deserved it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You deserved it, yes. Absolutely. I can't disagree. Instead, you've gotten to the point where it is more damaging. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's true, but I've learned to live with it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However...I definitely wouldn't object to its removal. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Listen, I don't want to hear you whining behind a closed door how you'll be the only one not lifted. You will. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot...I thought it might've been for a different reason like... Uh, "I'm not mad at you anymore, so I'm removing it"... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Absolutely not. I'm just being polite. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're still mad...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: The word is "Bitter", and yes. So can you hold your breath for longer now or do I need to treat you like a newborn? This is for important reasons. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept agreeing to meet up with you when I knew leaving alone wasn't something I felt comfortable doing. I should've just explained the situation. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Oh, I haven't gone swimming or anything, so I'm no better than when we last met. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought giving you distance was the best option so I really only interacted with water for drinking and bathing. Arsé-kun: Vivian: *she sighs.* You need to get out more. And what, did you think I was going to show up in a chlorine-hole and pants you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: The last time I went out alone other than today I got stabbed multiple times. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, they added the capability of socializing without ever leaving your room! Shopping without ever leaving your room! Working without ever leaving your room! Modern technology is amazing! Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... Yes, we can talk about that first part later. I have questions about that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: However, I still enjoy walking around at night...sleeping in graveyards... Hmm, they don't really allow you to use zoom in graveyards... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, right, removing it...Well, the fountain is here if you want to use it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you don't interact with water, but you kept it..? I can't wait to see my fountain looking like a rat's pissing pool. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No! I kept it clean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't let it get dirty. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But I stay away from lakes and pools. I wanted to give you distance until you weren't mad anymore. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I thought my presence would only make you angrier. "He won't come out tor me but he'll come out for some plants?" and so on. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair, but it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it helps any, I won't go out for the plants either. Arsé-kun: Vivian: So you've gotten worse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to do it for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If I can't get someone to doit for me, I'll usually just make a double through magic... if my luck is right, he'll be willing to go out. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hey, it's too dangerous to go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Save talking for afterwards. Please. Be quiet. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Fine, but only if you aren't going to leave the second you're done. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, what do I do? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'm not. I still have Meril to deal with after you. Now get in the fountain. Sheepy: *Myrrdin does as told.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts trying to remove this curse as well, but it's far stronger than the last one and it doesn't budge* Sheepy: *Myrrdin seems to be pained but is keeping his mouth shut...* Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... How often do you cause this to go off? Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he grins sheepishly* Well... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... You're a mess. You're lucky you're cute, Myrr. Sheepy: Myrrdin:!! Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts managing to physically rip this curse off of Myrrdin's body. However, the curse is so strong by now that it can and will fight back with it's... Slimy, phlegmmy, pus-like, chunky and moist fuckin' shit, this long stringy gross spider web dipped in slime and vom, this fucking* Arsé-kun: *This curdled milk looking black ink mistake* Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's biting his tongue. everything is pain! just don't scream and distract her!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hrk...That's what it looks like...?! ...Ghhh! *he clenches his teeth* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, it wasn't supposed to be pleasant..!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I-it’s...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's horrible! Th-that was in me...?! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Apparently..! It wasn't like this when I cast it, certainly..! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Eh, me setting it off so regularly must've made it turn into that... Sheepy: Myrrdin:.... Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... If you're going to vomit, please do it away from me. Sheepy: Myrrdin:....I'll be back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Wash yourself off. You've still got residue on you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Thanks. Sheepy: *Myrrdin leaves for a few minutes.* Arsé-kun: *Vivian manages to shove the angry goo into one of Myrrdin's empty supply jars in the meantime. Thankfully. Staining is minimal* Sheepy: *Myrrdin returns, still looking a little sick... and the marks are still on his chest* Arsé-kun: Vivian: I stole a jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could even keep it if you want. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Considering it's got an angry ball of goo, I don't think you want it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I tried washing it off... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've grown used to the tattoos but knowing that gunk is still inside me... Arsé-kun: Vivian: It is offputting. I certainly did not expect it to have become so... Like this. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...I guess I let it grow too much? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Perhaps? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, every time I look in the mirror I get to remember how that looked. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're legally allowed to look at people and in trade, this. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This? Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... What are you still here for? Don't you have hot people to be staring at? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? I already am, aren't I? Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... I really do not know what I expected. Arsé-kun: Vivian: .... Right, there was something else I needed to ask you about. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What is it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll try to answer as best as I can. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Where and who is the man that attacked you? I have a gift for him and it's pain. Sheepy: Myrrdin: The man who stabbed me... Stefano Valentino. Missing an eye, tried to turn me into an art piece... They arrested him. He's in jail right now. Sheepy: Myrrdin: My memory of the whole thing is kinda foggy. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Would you like to watch him try to make art with no eyes? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh....? W-with you? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I'd rather a movie, but this is fine too! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Don't push your luck that far. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh...Okay, I guess it's going a little too fast. Sheepy: Myrrdin: This time I'll show up! Arsé-kun: Vivian: If you don't, this jar is going under your pillow. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ehhhh?! Scary!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I will, I will! Sheepy: Myrrdin: And I can teach you about the wonders of instant messaging! Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Hmm, but do you have a phone? Or a computer? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, look at my clothes, look at my lake in the middle of nowhere- Where would I put a computer?? Sheepy: Myrrdin:......*he's thinking* ... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Your car? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Fair. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I use instant messaging a lot. Arsé-kun: *the angry goo is angry in a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...Is it supposed to look mad? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Doed it even have feelings? Arsé-kun: Vivian: It shouldn't. It was only a curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's so angry looking. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do I really have to keep it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I'd be mad too if my purpose suddenly became useless. Also, yes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it goes back in me in my sleep? Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if it comes after me...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, then you take it back off like a reused sticker. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does it eat food? Do I need to feed it...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I... I genuinely do not know. I've never let a curse live this long. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...... Arsé-kun: Vivian: The other two weren't physical. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...so this is a mystery we have to figure out together. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I would prefer not to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're making me take care of it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You... I realized how awful this is in hindsight. It's like raising a child without the father. *she sighs, heavily* Fine, I'll help you, but we are not dating. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ouch... I guess I haven't dealt with my flaws yet, so I haven't become someone you'd want to date. *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: But leaving the house alone... makes me worry I'll be attacked and unable to defend myself...Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'll work hard all the same...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that did happen the second I got comfortable, didn't it. Arsé-kun: Vivian: It certainly sounds like it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So getting comfortable isn't safe... Sheepy: Myrrdin:....... Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're an idiot. You have fists. Use them. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: And potentially injure them...? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't risk something like that. Arsé-kun: *Vivian looks frustrated* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I would've just defended myself normally but I was so burnt out magic wise and didn't bring my staff. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I usually just flash a bright light and run. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But...using my fists? What if I hurt my hands? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Then heal them. Moron. Sheepy: Myrrdin: *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather just not go out alone. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take the Cath Palug. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But Fou doesn't always want to go. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Take your new son. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh...Hmm... I guess it'll get lonely now that it doesn't have me to try to kill at every waking moment. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You're right, I guess. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But you'll have to pitch in sometimes too. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Certainly, but do not simply dump them on me from nowhere and then take off to bang several other people. Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, I wouldn't do that! Arsé-kun: Vivian: Ah, true. You would need to go outside first. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...! N-no...I... I do...! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been working really hard...But...I...*he grimaces* When I start getting comfortable, things happen. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Things aren't going to stop happening just because one man is uncomfy. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's not what I meant. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now, that isn't fair to say when we do not know if the overgrown curse was to blame for that as well. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So what do you suggest? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've tried all I can other than damaging others. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Get a guard dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Dog... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Most people hone in on the dog. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sir Lancelot does seem safe and trustworthy... Arsé-kun: *Myrrdin is now in danger* Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Do not make me regret helping you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: I kinda assumed you already did because it's me and somehow I manage to unknowingly make everyone mad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But... If you're going to regret removing it, just put it back. Arsé-kun: Vivian: And watch you die? From something stupid? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's not as though you'd be around for it. Arsé-kun: *Vivian starts to say something but is interrupted by a door downstairs SLAMMING open and Merlin yelling "What's up, fuckers?!"* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, it must be Merlin. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess I should go check on what he needs. Arsé-kun: Vivian: A reminder to keep it down is what. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...? It doesn't bother me. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What were you saying before he barged in? Arsé-kun: Vivian: Forget it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Did I tick you off? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: You're still extraordinarily dense. I'll leave it at that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't understand. Arsé-kun: Vivian: ... I am teasing you. You still can't tell? Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, not really. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Why would I want to chase down someone that harmed you, and then proceed to suggest you get injured? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh...Because you personally want vengeance? Arsé-kun: Vivian: I've gotten more than plenty from you. Don't worry so much. Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I assumed you hated me unto this day. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Did I not state that the curse did far more to you than I'd intended? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It doesn't change the fact that me standing you up so many times wasn't right and that I still haven't improved despite saying I would. Arsé-kun: Vivian: The latter of which is by all means my own fault. Sheepy: Myrrdin:...So you don't hate me? Arsé-kun: Vivian: No, I don't hate you. Still not dating you, but I do not hate you Sheepy: Myrrdin: Of course not. I haven’t improved myself enough for that. I couldn’t bring myself to date you even if you wanted to. Not in my current state. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Well, if I wanted to, you wouldn't get much of a choice. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Eh? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Scary. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Thank you. I really try. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Do you... You don’t need to. Arsé-kun: Vivian: I like to. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I see that... Arsé-kun: Vivian: But enough talk. Lets take care of your brother. The actually cursed one. Take your son with you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right. Arsé-kun: *Vivian goes downstairs. Merlin sees her and screams* Sheepy: *Myrrdin follows* Arsé-kun: Merlin: WHY IS SHE HERE?! MYRRDIN!! WHY???? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Merlin, don’t be so loud. Look at my jar. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... That gives me massively bad vibes. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It’s my curse. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That’s great, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ?! *looks at Myrrdin's tattoos, back to the jar, back to Myrrdin, back t* Sheepy: Myrrdin: It left a stain. Arsé-kun: Vivian: Be glad you didn't see it outside of the jar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'll pass! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We’re keeping him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We already have Fou! Do we need two curses?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yes. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don’t think he and Fou will get along though. Arsé-kun: *Fou sniffs the jar, and then recoils with the lemon-cat face* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Exactly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And what the hell do you mean "He"? Curses aren't sentient! Sheepy: Myrrdin: This one is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: It grew powerful enough to gain sentience. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So you want to keep... A living, sentient curse? That literally made your life hell? Why??? Arsé-kun: *merlin looks genuinely confused* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, if it's sentient, I made it that way. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's not a child! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But if it were, it'd be Vivian's and mine. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... Ah. I get it. It's like you were man-pregnant. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now that you've said that, we'll get ads for mpreg comics with how ads seem to be picked up from conversations. Arsé-kun: Merlin: What, are those not fucking hilarious??? They're so bad. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Does anyone actually click on them? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe for the irony. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, objects that stay around long enough become sentient, right? I'd guess it's the same deal here. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Look, man, I'm into some weird shit, but that takes the cake. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So you won't help Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do I look like I know how to children? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't know how to either. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Did Bedi get home yet? He adopted kids way back when, he should know. Arsé-kun: Merlin: .... If he remembers it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wouldn't know. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I've been upstairs with Vivian for a to while now. Arsé-kun: *Vivian does not input. She appears from behind the bar counter, takes a bottle of wine, and raises an eyebrow* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh? Oh?? And what were you doing? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Talking. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeah? And what else? ;) Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Sheepy: Myrrdin: She removed the curse from me. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Damn, that's it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Y'all didn't bang? You d-- Arsé-kun: *Vivian slams her fist over Merlin's head, flooring him instantly. He's okay, thankfully* Arsé-kun: Vivian: Please do not forget that I still despise you. Arsé-kun: Merlin: F-fair enough..! Ow, ow... Arsé-kun: Vivian: Now then. All three curses have been removed, I had to touch That *she gestures to the jar*, and I need to find my actual son. I have things to do, unlike you two, so I'll be taking my leave. Good luck with that. *and she leaves* Arsé-kun: *there's a few moments of silence, and then..* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, wait, we can all go out for food together now! We can go see Arthur with Meril! We could steal someone's car! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Now we’ll need to list working hours.. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And take actual payment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shoot, you're right. It's not like he'll be home for the next century. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Gosh, but what’ll we even charge...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Money?? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I could look it up?? Take suggestions from my fans? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, of course money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get a credit card scanner? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You need to be able to calculate all costs that go into making a drink such as labor, material, and other side costs and then calculate how much percentage profit you can reasonably make off of each drink. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... .... Five dollar. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wow... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, but actually.... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Lets use this one for example. *he pats the closest bottle* This is, according to the label, about 13 dollars. It's 375 mL, but a cup is 237 mL. So it'd be like... Ten dollars for a cup of it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And then five for whoever finishes it off. Profit. Arsé-kun: Merlin: They get to keep the bottle. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Huh. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, that sounds about right I guess. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But it's not like many people see us to begin with! Sheepy: Bedi: If you wanted to get around a 50% profit for it, you could charge $12 for the cup and $7 for the remaining portion. Sheepy: Bedi: But is that reasonable? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Two dollars more... Yeah, that sounds right! Good work, babe! Sheepy: Bedi: Thank you. Arsé-kun: *Merlin pauses to process complex abstractions* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hold on a moment. Bedi, babe, hon, you went out with Lancelot earlier, but Vivian was looking for him. And since she was dealing with the curses, does that mean she dealt with yours...? Sheepy: Bedi: Yes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: !! Sheepy: Bedi: I took a shower to deal with the brain fog that came from her removal of the curse. Sheepy: Bedi: Unfortunately, my brain is still a little...hazy. I think with a good night's sleep the fog should fade. For now, however... Sheepy: *There's a yelp from Meril in the background.* Sheepy: Bedi:...We have no hot water. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Ah. Of course. Sheepy: Bedi: However, it felt very nice while it lasted. Arsé-kun: Merlin: We need a better heater... Maybe a modern radiator too.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: But goods and services cost money! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We need to charge for our services so we can earn money. Arsé-kun: Merlin: These bar services, you mean. We need people to come in to get money. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But how...? Through advertising? Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's where the problem with the tree being fuckin' invisible comes in!!! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: This really is tough. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Can we just convince the regulars to bring more people?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Good idea! Sheepy: Bedi: The lawyer knows many people due to being a lawyer, so perhaps he could help.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're right, but that doesn't settle the whole "Most people cannot see the tree unless it is introduced to them". Do we make a youtube video? Will that work? Sheepy: Bedi: Maybe... Sheepy: Bedi: But can it be caught on camera? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Never actually tried! Sheepy: Myrrdin: What if we put a sign on it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maybe? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Let's try it later. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, speaking of... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, we were just talking about you! Come on in! Arsé-kun: *Barok enters the bar, looking relatively exhausted. He brought a friend!* Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Make me regret being alive and I'll let it slide. Sheepy: ?: It's hidden very welll... it is. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, we can do that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Oh, you brought someone else! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We were just considering asking you to do exactly that! Sheepy: Rikao: ...My name is Rikao... it is. I'm a defense attorney... yes. *he shyly looks away* My... my, uh, friend brought me. ...Friend... yes. Sheepy: Bedi: I will get Meril. One moment. Arsé-kun: Merlin: You're lucky today. We haven't figured out actual monetary prices yet, so our payment is the same as you've likely been told already. Sheepy: Rikao: Payment... It is necessary for me to pay you somehow... it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, we'll take either stories or whatever money you wanna pay. Doesn't really matter! Sheepy: Rikao: Scamming people is wrong... Yes. So I must pay you with money. My life is not that interesting... it's not. Arsé-kun: Barok: Oh? So I'm going to be the one sharing what set you off this week in court? Sheepy: Rikao: Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good, because I intended to anyway. Sheepy: Rikao: Really? Arsé-kun: Barok: Yes. I cannot believe you of all people fell for updog. Sheepy: Rikao: I have never heard of updog... Sheepy: Rikao: I assumed it to be a very tall dog...Yes. You look up and there is a dog... it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: .... *he picks up the tiny Rikao and puts him on a seat. he's so Small.* How are you going to reach your drink like this? Sheepy: Rikao: I go to bars often for performances. It is easier to "vibe" in this form... it is. Jalope taught me of this word. Sheepy: Rikao: He likes to say, "Rikao-chin is vibing, wei wei, ciao ciao," and such... Yes. Sheepy: Rikao: However, if it's not socially accepted, I'll follow your suggestion... Yes. *poof! He's a lot taller and much more human now!* Sheepy: Meril: Oh, customers... so early? *he looks cold* Arsé-kun: Barok: Afternoon. Could you kindly end my life? Sheepy: Rikao: Such a thing is usually illegal... Arsé-kun: Barok: Not like that. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, the usual? No problem. Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: He doesn't plan to poison you... Very good. ...Yes. Arsé-kun: Barok: I can poison myself just fine, thank you. Sheepy: Rikao: Hmm... It doesn't take much skill to accomplish that... It doesn't. Sheepy: Meril: What would you like, ehhh... Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Rikao: Rikao. Defense attorney. Singer. Bassist. Sheepy: Meril: That's a unique last name. Arsé-kun: Barok: It isn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Maaaaan, Meril, you have GOT to get outside! *he knows what he said.* Sheepy: Meril: So many people have the last name "bassist"? Sheepy: Rikao:...! Sheepy: Meril: My curse has been removed so I can go out whenever I want now. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheheh... Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Hold on, Mer. Hold on. Arsé-kun: Barok: oh no Sheepy: Rikao: Ahahaha! *he's begun cackling and wheezing* "Bassist" is no last name...! Ahahaha! It's one of my- eheheh- occupations! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: .... This, in court. So help me God. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, so that's why you need a drink. Arsé-kun: Barok: I don't mind it outside of court. But in court... Sheepy: Meril: How do you get through cases? Do you win by making him laugh too much so he can't continue? Arsé-kun: Barok: I try not to resort to that. It feels like cheating. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm... Hmm... Courts are confusing to me... Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he's got Fou in his hands like a toy and standing on his back feet* *squeaky voice* I'm Bassist, I do-a the dance moves! *he wiggles Fou's arms. Fou looks ready to commit a homicide* Sheepy: Meril: The goal is to win, but the goal is to figure out if the defendant is guilty...But the wrong side could win... Sheepy: *Rikao has begun cry-laughing at Merlin* Arsé-kun: Barok: There's a reason it takes so long to become a lawyer. Arsé-kun: *MERLIN STONKS* Sheepy: Meril: If you're a lawyer for long enough, can you immediately determine guilt? Almost like reading their mind? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish. Sheepy: Meril: You can't? Arsé-kun: Barok: If that point exists, I haven't reached it yet. Sheepy: Meril: Hmm...So maybe there's an legendary lawyer out there who's been practicing law for so long that they can read minds. Arsé-kun: *Barok considers this* Sheepy: Meril: I wonder where they'd be. Arsé-kun: Barok: On paid leave from court, probably. Sheepy: Rikao: Eheh... ... ... *sharp inhale* ... Legendary lawyer? No, there's nothing like that... Is there? Arsé-kun: Barok: I certainly hope not. Sheepy: Rikao: Reading minds would not be something I'd want... Sheepy: Meril: Right, your drink. What did you want? Sheepy: Rikao:......... *mumbling* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Anyone else get a "no" vibe? Just me? Sheepy: Meril: Eh? He said no drink? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Just the vibe of a "no", but not an actual no... Sheepy: Rikao: *he looks away shyly before repeating himself, slightly more coherently* Arsé-kun: Barok: *ahem* The court will end your statement for you if you do not speak up. Sheepy: Rikao:....! Sheepy: Rikao:...Do you sell milkshakes? Uraragi does...is it a normal bar drink? Sheepy: Meril: Yeah, sure. Sheepy: Meril: So you want a milkshake. Sure, I can do that. Sheepy: *Something loudly crashes outside!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Theeeere it is. Keep the milk out, we're gonna need it. Sheepy: *Bedi gets the door* Sheepy: Bedi: Um...You don't look like a bird. Arsé-kun: Killia: I hope not. A loud angel crashed into your tree. Sheepy: Bedi: Loud...angel? Arsé-kun: *Barok groans in the background. Can't go ten goddamn minutes without Crow, apparently* Sheepy: Bedi: Do you have ID? Sheepy: Crow: Eye-dee? Arsé-kun: Barok: Excuse my nephew. He's, how do I politely say... *he makes a face of frustration* Sheepy: Meril: So he's with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I wish he weren't, but I'll take the responsibility of anything he does. Sheepy: Meril: Oh, that's fine. He can come in then. Sheepy: Crow: *gasp*...! I've solved the mystery of where Uncle goes after work! Man, I'm a genius. Sheepy: Crow: Just call me an ace detective! Ahahaha! Sheepy: Christo: Most detectives don't smack their face into things... Arsé-kun: Barok: .... ..... Please let me have some peace in my life. Sheepy: Crow: Peace? Sheepy: Crow: Am I not peaceful? Arsé-kun: Barok: You are... So loud. Sheepy: Crow: Is loud bad? Sheepy: Rikao: *he's looking Crow over* Sheepy: Crow: Loud works when you wanna scream the truths of life at the top of your lungs! Sheepy: Crow: How can you show your crimson passion without raising your voice? Sheepy: Rikao: Oh, that's it. SomethingCrimson. Crowley. I have heard your songs before...I have. Sheepy: Crow: It's CROW!! And "ShinganCrimsonZ"!! We'll be the biggest band and spread our crimson passion! But since you've heard our songs, you must be one of my cattle, so I'll let it pass! Heh! Sheepy: Rikao: No... I am an African wild dog. Sheepy: Rikao: I don't look bull-like... I don't. Sheepy: Crow: It means you liked them! And you like me! Sheepy: Rikao: No, that's not true. Sheepy: Crow: Eeehh?! Uncle...! How could he not like me? Arsé-kun: Barok: Perhaps because he doesn't actually know you. Maybe because you're yelling indoors. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Sheepy: Crow: But this is my indoor voice...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Sorry, Barok, but it's permitted! We can be louder if it makes you unhappy! ;) I aim to serve! Sheepy: Crow: Finally! Someone reasonable! Arsé-kun: Barok: Fine, but not so loud that you shatter glass. Sheepy: Rikao: Shouting and yelling is bad for your voice. Make sure you do vocal warm ups, too. ...Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I've never shattered glass by being loud before! Sheepy: Crow: Is that even possible? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! But it isn't easy, and has a bunch of required circumstances! Arsé-kun: *Fou covers his widdle ears with his paws. Aww. Lookit the bayyybeeeeee* Sheepy: Rikao: ...? Sheepy: Rikao: It's upset...it is. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shit, me too, he's not special. Sheepy: Rikao: He's like Jalope... he is. Sheepy: Crow: But...What is this place? Why do I need ID? Sheepy: Crow: But this is a bar, right? So if I pass it, I'll become a lawyer? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... That's the bar exam. They ask for ID so no children come in to drink booze. Sheepy: Crow: Booze... Sheepy: Crow: Booze....Hmm... Hmm... Like a drink ghosts have. Arsé-kun: *Barok starts to reply and just stops. He just gives up.* Sheepy: Crow: But if it were milk based, it'd be "mooze". Arsé-kun: Merlin: *snnnnrk* Well, have I got moos for you. *he slides a glass of milk to Crow* Merry January or whatever. Sheepy: Crow:!!! What? For me? I can tell you're one of my cattle just by that! Sheepy: Rikao: He's not a bull either. Sheepy: Crow: Anyone who likes my songs is one of my cattle! And anyone who listens to my songs likes them! Sheepy: Crow: That's one of the truths of life! Heh! Bet you didn't know that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: If you wanna be more accurate, it's the people who listen TWICE that like it. Gives 'em time to realize they do like it. Sheepy: Crow: Eh? Really? Sheepy: Crow:...Huh! Sheepy: Crow: I'd never thought of that... Sheepy: Crow: Okay, then listen to my songs again! Sheepy: Crow: But for now...Why're you hanging out at bars? Arsé-kun: Barok: Why not? Sheepy: Crow: I expected you to have a different pass time... Arsé-kun: Barok: Passtimes are for when I haven't just finished work. Sheepy: Crow: ...? Sheepy: Crow: So you drink after work, huh... Sheepy: Crow: That's not really what I expected... Arsé-kun: Barok: What I do exactly is not your business. It is called a "personal" life for a reason. Sheepy: Crow:...? Sheepy: Crow:........ *he's mulling this over* Sheepy: Crow: Huh. Sheepy: Crow: But you don't spend much time with me, so how else will I spend time with you? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'm busy. Am I supposed to quit? Sheepy: Crow: No. Sheepy: Crow: But I was just thinking that sometime when you're less busy, we should spend more time together. Sheepy: Meril: Right, here are your drinks. *he gives Barok and Rikao drinks* Arsé-kun: Barok: Appreciated. Arsé-kun: *Barok isn't clear on who he was speaking to...* Sheepy: Rikao: Thank you. Sheepy: Crow: Is your job really hard? You just go up and say things, right? But your stage is behind a desk. Arsé-kun: Barok: It wavers between determining someone's innocence or convicting them of a crime, with proper evidence. (yknow unlike yours) Sheepy: Crow: ? Hmmm... No, that doesn't seem right. Arsé-kun: Barok: It is not like your trial of... Whatever that was. Sheepy: Crow: Did you become a lawyer because of that? Arsé-kun: Barok: *ACE ATTORNEY PSYCHE LOCK.PNG* *ok actually he IS dangling a lock off his finger, but no chains or ace attorney music blaring* You'll no sooner get an answer to that than this piece of junk actually opening. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Either way, I was already interested in the subject before that event. Sheepy: Crow: But this bar doesn't seem that much like junk? Arsé-kun: Barok: .... The lock, Crow. Sheepy: Crow: Eh... If you just hit it on something it'll open. Arsé-kun: Barok: That has implications. Sheepy: Crow:? Arsé-kun: Barok: Will you hit me to make me open up? Sheepy: Crow: Why would I wanna see your insides? Arsé-kun: Barok: ....... *he kicks back his drink. discussion over* Sheepy: Crow: *thinking* Sheepy: *Rikao is focused on his drink* Sheepy: Crow:...Eh? Like, open up as in tell your thoughts? Arsé-kun: Barok: That's the one. Sheepy: Crow: But punching you would shut you up even more? And anyway, if we got into a fistfight, my crimson fists wouldn't be any match for you. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe, to both. Sheepy: Crow: Do I wanna risk it? Not really... Sheepy: Crow: If I punch you will I benefit from it? Arsé-kun: Barok: No. Sheepy: Crow: Then I guess I won't punch you. Sheepy: Rikao: Punching people when it benefits you is wrong too... It is. Sheepy: Christo: (So he would attack someone for his own benefit. I knew he was guilty.) Arsé-kun: Barok: Christo, you magnificent bastard, I can hear you. Sheepy: Christo:...?! Sheepy: Christo: Ahaha... Don't mind me. I'm just thinking to myself. Arsé-kun: Barok: If you'd like to make a court case out of it, I'd be more than happy to take the opposite side of the room for once. Sheepy: Christo:....... Sheepy: Christo: I don't have any interest in whether he's guilty or innocent. Just my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You two are the same brand of having no subtly. Arsé-kun: *but he is now Interested* Sheepy: Christo: Please don't compare me to him. Sheepy: Christo: That's how they decided I was the one who manipulated him into doing it. Because we'd met before and I could apparently mesh well enough with him to accomplish that. Sheepy: Christo: Now I'm in this mess. Really, it would've been easier on me if you'd seemed brighter and not like someone who'd need to be told to commit political crimes. Sheepy: Crow:? I don't even know the guy who got attacked... Arsé-kun: Barok: And you two don't get along. Who held that trial? I'll have a word. Sheepy: Christo: It's too late for such things. I'll need to prove my own innocence. Arsé-kun: Barok: Okay. Hey, did you do it? Sheepy: Christo: Of course not! I don't benefit from the crime! Arsé-kun: Barok: Then my work here is done. You're innocent. Sheepy: Christo: What? Humans lie and say that all the time. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Listen, I came here to drink and sit here in almost silence. We can speak about this matter later. Sheepy: Christo:...I can't see what you can do for me, but where? Sheepy: Christo: Your home? My home? A common meeting place...? Arsé-kun: Barok: I'd rather go to you, but I'm not about to think that through. Sheepy: Christo: Yes, well, I live with the Seraph. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Barok: ........ Arsé-kun: Barok: ...... How the hell did they kick you out at that rate?? Sheepy: Christo: They hated me and I hated them. Arsé-kun: Barok: And the Seraph just let them? Sheepy: Christo: Yes, I suppose so. Sheepy: Christo: But he isn't at fault. Sheepy: Christo: Of course the idiots who blindly rushed to conclusions are at fault. Sheepy: Christo: That's why I think you can't do anything. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe. Maybe not. Sheepy: Christo: However, if I prove someone else fully guilty, they can't blame me. Sheepy: Crow: They can blame you for any crime they want if they don't like you being around. Arsé-kun: Barok: On the other hand, if Crow is innocent of intentional assault, then you'd be acquitted as well. Sheepy: Christo: But then who is guilty if not him? The Seraph has me spending time with him often to help him learn to control his abilities. He's nearly injured me a few times from getting too fired up.. Sheepy: Crow: You keep rushing me and it makes me nervous! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Some people just cant perform under pressure. It's just like that sometimes. Sheepy: Christo: But in that case, why am I the one tasked with this...? I'm the least suited for this. Sheepy: Christo: Anyone here would be better suited at it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, I don't think that's true. I've heard I'm scary as a teacher. Arsé-kun: Barok: Maybe it'd teach you patience. Sheepy: Christo:...... Sheepy: Christo: So that's why he's stuck me with this job... Sheepy: Christo: Isn't this your job...? Arsé-kun: Barok: No? I'm a prosecutor. When would I have time for this? Sheepy: Christo: Then what about his dad? This shouldn't be my job. Arsé-kun: Barok: He's a disaster. Sheepy: Christo:....? Arsé-kun: Barok: Crow got it from his father's side. Sheepy: Christo:.... Sheepy: Christo:...You jest, of course! Ahahaha! Arsé-kun: Barok: I fucking wish. Sheepy: Christo:....This really is an unsolvable problem. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Git gud Sheepy: Christo: Unfortunately, despite my efforts, he doesn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow, that sucks Sheepy: Christo: Yes. Sheepy: Crow: I'll show how cool I really am one day! Sheepy: *Rikao has been tuning out this whole conversation. Talent* Arsé-kun: *Fou wants to dead* Sheepy: Crow: And then you'll have to like me! Heh! Genius plan! Arsé-kun: Barok: Please stop speaking. Sheepy: Crow: ? Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I guess I don't have to show you because you already like me. Sheepy: Crow: You'd already know how cool I am 'cause of how long you've known me! Which is ever since I can remember! Sheepy: Crow: Although, speaking of that, it hasn't worked as well as before the fall.... Sheepy: Crow: I wonder why... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Do you want an answer to that? I could guesstimate one. Sheepy: Crow: Sure. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, all right! Just make sure to stop me if I lose you! Sheepy: Crow: Right! Arsé-kun: *He goes off to the side and pulls down a whiteboard. It was getting very dusty. It has not been used in at least a month. Fou sneezes. And then he leaves to dig out a goddamn 2003 school projector. We're about to do a L E A R N* Sheepy: Crow: Wow, what is that? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Old school tech, before every classroom had shiny projectors and computers! Sheepy: Crow: Huh...! Arsé-kun: *Merlin doodles a little cloud and a little hill, busts out a calculator, and then starts being a goddamn nerd* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Well, for starters, you fell from about... ten thousand feet up? So- Arsé-kun: Barok: fourteen hundred, idiot Sheepy: Crow: Some big number like that! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, is that it? That changes things. *a few more calculations* Even better. Okay, so you well from about 14k to ground zero. Without intentional streamlining or parachute, people drop at about... 180 miles an hour? So you'd have fallen for about a minute. So you absolutely hit terminal velocity, and as a general rule? Hitting something at that speed fuckin' hurts. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hit your head at that speed? You're lucky you're here with us. No wonder you'd get brain damage. Sheepy: Crow: Huh.... Sheepy: Crow: That fits in with what I know. Sheepy: Crow: I don't remember too much after the fall other than not really being able to do much for a while. It hurt too much. Arsé-kun: Merlin: *he pushes the sheet off the projector. whoosh. don't need that anymore* Yeah, makes sense. I'm no angel, but I've done my fair share of dumb shit. Sheepy: Crow: You did it too? Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin... Sheepy: Bedi: Parachutes exist for a reason. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Oh, I didn't mean that! You always skydive with a parachute! Sheepy: Bedi:...? Arsé-kun: Merlin: :) Sheepy: Bedi: *he's smiling, but it's clearly not genuine. Scary* What did you do? Arsé-kun: Merlin: I went skydiving once without saying that's what I was doing. I used a parachute! I promise! Sheepy: Bedi: I see... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, Meril, you wanna experience terminal fucking velocity?? Sheepy: Meril: No, not particularly. How do you do it? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Get on a plane. Wait for the right altitude. Jump off the plane and belly flop into the sky. Profit. Arsé-kun: Lance: ... ... what Sheepy: Meril: Plane? Sheepy: Meril: The metal bird? Arsé-kun: Merlin: The metal bird! Sheepy: Bedi: It has people inside. Sheepy: Meril: It...eats people Arsé-kun: Merlin: It's a car! For the sky! Sheepy: Meril: !!!! Sheepy: Meril: But what about the ground? Sheepy: Bedi: Well, if you put Fou upside down on your back, you’ll never hit the ground. Sheepy: Meril: ...? Sheepy: Bedi: Cats always land on their feet, so you’d just keep ascending upwards. Sheepy: Meril: That... Isn’t... Arsé-kun: Fou: *flops onto his side. bedi is wrong and should feel bad* Sheepy: Bedi: Oh, Fou, you agree? Arsé-kun: Fou: No Sheepy: Bedi: Hmmm.. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Cats do it because they have good reaction times and flexible twisty spines, unlike people, we aren't lucky like cats Sheepy: Bedi: ........!? Sheepy: Bedi: How do they not break their legs? Sheepy: Bedi: Is it pure talent? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Shock ab--- I'll make it easy for us. Flexy spine absorb impact better than stiff human spine. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.......Stiff... Sheepy: Bedi: ............So if I do stretches enough, I'll be able to do it too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: hun you are the stiffest man alive sometimes. You know what I mean and not the haha funny way. Sheepy: Bedi: ......Yes, not personality wise, but..... Sheepy: Myrrdin: No, personality too. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And speaking of, how DID the-- Myrr, shut up! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hahaha... I'm not wrong, though. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes? Arsé-kun: Merlin: How'd the sparring go? Sheepy: Bedi: Tiring but important practice. Sheepy: Bedi: Ah, but... Sheepy: Bedi: I have a habit of getting very "into it". That's the phrase, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: It is! Sheepy: Bedi: Yes, so please be careful if we spar. Sheepy: Bedi: However... I should start stretching as you mentioned... But I never remember to do it. Arsé-kun: *Fou gets up and does a big kitty stretch before going to investigate Christo* Sheepy: Christo: ...? *he bends down* It's a cat. Arsé-kun: Fou: Fou! Sheepy: Christo: But not like I've seen before. Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's a water cat. He came from the water and he can stay there. Sheepy: Christo: Water....cat? Sheepy: Bedi: A cat that lives in water. Arsé-kun: *Merlin smirks but keeps his filthy mouth shut* Sheepy: Christo: Then why the fur rather than something more...underwater-y? Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's still a cat. Sheepy: Bedi: Because he's furry. Sheepy: Crow: I've been called a furry too! Sheepy: Bedi: Merlin has told me about furries. Apparently they hold forbidden conventions. Sheepy: Crow: At the pet store? I've talked to some hedgehogs there but they just ignore me. Arsé-kun: Lance: *what the hell is happening in this thread* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Babe, there is a REASON I don't tell you things about it! Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... If even you find it to be... unspeakable, well, it must be terrible. Arsé-kun: Merlin: There is currently a kid present so I REALLY can't. Sheepy: Bedi:...? Sheepy: Crow: I'm no kid! I'm a hedgehog! Sheepy: Crow: Do I look like I eat cans to you...?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: What the hell are you talking about? Sheepy: Crow: Goats eat cans so kids do too, right? Sheepy: Bedi: I never ate cans as a child... Arsé-kun: Killia: what is this weasel on about? Sheepy: Crow: I'm a hedgehog! Arsé-kun: Killia: Same thing. Sheepy: Crow: No!!!!! Sheepy: Crow: They're completely different! Sheepy: Crow: I'm super cool and prickly! Weasels are just, uh... Sheepy: Crow: Anyway, kids are baby goats, aren't they? Sheepy: Bedi: This is how our conversations usually go here. Sheepy: Bedi: But I guess you've mostly been spared it. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You say that but you're almost always the source of it. Sheepy: Meril: *he seems more fixated on the door than anything* Sheepy: Bedi: I don't think that's true. Sheepy: Bedi: Usually I'm comprehensible, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Usually! It's only when you get into the deep logics that we totally lose you. Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm.. Sheepy: Bedi: Yes...I suppose that makes sense... Arsé-kun: Merlin: It could be like explaining yachts to Mer-- *he pauses* Arsé-kun: *Meril has been replaced by a cloud of dust, and the door has been Thanos Snapped out of existence. Just the door. Not even the hinges* Sheepy: Bedi:?! Sheepy: Bedi: This is bad...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: He's wearing sandals. It's January. How far's he gonna get? Sheepy: Bedi: Do you plan to just let him go out without a watchful eye? He doesn't truly know any rules of the modern world... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Hey, hey, I think he's learned enough to survive! He wasn't told all this stuff for funsies! Sheepy: Bedi: But...... Sheepy: Bedi: I feel nervous letting him go out alone. Sheepy: Bedi: But the longer we discuss it, the further away he gets. Arsé-kun: *Merlin just shrugs* Sheepy: Bedi: So shouldn't we go after him? Arsé-kun: Merlin: And leave just Myrrdin looking after a full shop? Sheepy: Bedi: Hmm... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah! Arsé-kun: Merlin: That's to me, right?? That was to me? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I don't want to be left all alone! Arsé-kun: Merlin: You can go looking if you want, Bedi! But we gotta hang back. Sheepy: Bedi: I see. I'll do my best. Sheepy: *Bedi exits* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Bedi, come back and get a coat! Sheepy: Bedi: --Oh! Thank you! *he rushes back to get his coat before leaving, this time wearing a coat* Arsé-kun: *There really isn't a reason for there to be two wizards as working staff, it's not like anyone is doing anything* Arsé-kun: *The most that is actually happening is Fou getting more petting action. Pet! That! Cat!* Sheepy: Myrrdin: I wonder what I should name him... Sheepy: *Christo is enjoying petting Fou* Arsé-kun: *Fou appreciates it!* Arsé-kun: Merlin: We're really doing this? We're genuinely keeping a sentient curse? Sheepy: Myrrdin: It's my fault it's sentient. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I can't just run away from it and forget about it. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Okay, yeah, that's how you get a revenge-driven super wraith. Sheepy: Myrrdin: And anyway, it'd make me no better than, uh... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, I don't want to do anything I'll regret. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So, you're in, too? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Yeaaaah, count me in! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, thanks. Arsé-kun: Merlin: So what are we thinking? Something normal, something edgy? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I dunno. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Maybe it'll react differently to a name it likes. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Does it have those?? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, it's sentient, so it must, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: I mean, it'd have tastes simiilar to mine, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: You'd think so, but Fou and I don't get along either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: True... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Well, we have to try, at least. Arsé-kun: Kay: Call it Bitch Tits and move on with your goddamn life! *he says as he barges in* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Is that how you usually name living things...? Arsé-kun: Kay: Look, I got all these new words to use! I'm gonna use them! Sheepy: Myrrdin: But for naming something? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Anyway, what did you need? Arsé-kun: Kay: What do you think I want? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Booze? Arsé-kun: Kay: Booze! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Sure, I can do that. Arsé-kun: Kay: You? Where's Antlers? Did he finally ditch this coop? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Yeah, he left without a word and now Bedi's hunting him down. Arsé-kun: Kay: Explains why Bedi's stalking the streets. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Vivian showed up and removed our curses. Although, Bedi's still acting like a forgetful airhead, so maybe removing his curse didn't change much... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Right, you missed that whole ordeal, didn't you? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Be nice to Bedi!! He isn't even here right now! Sheepy: Myrrdin: You'd rather I say it to his face...? Isn't it better to say it behind his back? Arsé-kun: Kay: booze Sheepy: Myrrdin: What booze do you want? I'm not an exoert on these things. Sheepy: Myrrdin: While I prep it I can tell you what happened. Arsé-kun: Kay: Surprise me. *he plops into a seat* And we're crowded today, huh? That's new as far as I know, which ain't shit. Sheepy: *Myrrdin starts preparing a drink* Sheepy: Myrrdin: We only get guests every so often. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But the good news is, Bedi got his memories back, if you heard about him losing them all the other day. Arsé-kun: Kay: Yeah, yeah, but he was always an airhead. I don't expect much to change. Arsé-kun: *Merlin looks annoyed* Sheepy: Myrrdin: That's exactly what I thought. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If it'd hit the right target, we"d have caught it way sooner. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Fine, I'll give you that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Because it's true. Sheepy: Myrrdin: All three of them are. It must run in the family. ...Although I'm pretty sure Grif isn't actually related... Arsé-kun: Merlin: We have no way to know that. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Know what? That it's genetic? Arsé-kun: Merlin: ye Sheepy: Myrrdin: I guess Tristan giving Lucan brain damage could be a contributing factor... Arsé-kun: Kay: Lucan has an excuse to be stupid. Bedi has some excuse but not much. Grif's dumb as shit. Arsé-kun: Kay: He's so stupid. I swear he was saying he was gonna fight the cars on the highway. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Should we be letting him do that? People are in those. Sheepy: Crow: Oh, I saw a few crashed cars along with a weirdo in green fighting Mr. Thanny. Sheepy: Crow: I didn't think much of it so I didn't ask. Arsé-kun: Merlin: wh. what Arsé-kun: Lance: I saw it also. I just let him do his business. Thankfully, no one in any of the vehicles was injured. Sheepy: Crow: Well, cars are usually the best weapon to fight Mr. Thanny with, right? Arsé-kun: Killia: Considering the man got out of a car to fight him, I want to say no. Sheepy: Crow: Mr. Thanny can drive... Arsé-kun: *Merlin, genuinely shocked at this turn of events,* Sheepy: Crow: But he can't be asked for insurance info because that doesn't cover lifting and throwing cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: It should. Sheepy: Crow: Yeah. Sheepy: Crow: But it doesn't. Arsé-kun: Kay: The hell's an insurance? Sheepy: Crow: Every month you pay for insurance that covers different aspects of your life just in case something happens to that aspect. Arsé-kun: Kay: That seems reasonable. Sheepy: Crow: Like if you have life insurance and die, they'll pay your significant other so they can be financially stable without a second source of income. Sheepy: Crow: Or if you have car insurance and you get in an accident, they'll help pay for your repairs...I think. But they raise the rates. Sometimes they pay the other person, too, if you're at fault, and sometimes their insurance pays you if they're at fault. Sheepy: Crow: Legally, you need car insurance to be able to drive, just in case! Sheepy: Crow: It's okay, I didn't know when I first fell either! But now you do! Sheepy: Crow: But you might find you have nightmares and a fear of heights that you didn't have before so just be careful about that. Arsé-kun: *Barok picked himself up to stare at Crow for a moment. Just a moment* Sheepy: Crow: Eh? What? Arsé-kun: Barok: Of all things you learned from me, it was that...? Sheepy: Crow: It's something I have to know. Sheepy: Crow: What, would you've preferred something else? Sheepy: Crow: Unless insulting a detective is a crime, I've committed zero crimes in my life. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Crow: That's not a crime. Sheepy: Crow: That's an accident. Sheepy: Crow: You've damaged property too, haven't you? Arsé-kun: Barok: ... You've gotten me there. Sheepy: Crow: So I'm crimeless. Arsé-kun: Barok: Well, yes, but actually no. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Barok: For starters, your name is not Crimeless. It's Crocell. Sheepy: Crow: N-no!!! Sheepy: Crow: It's Crow! Which is way cooler! Sheepy: Crow: Crocell's such a nerdy name! Sheepy: Crow: Why do you get a cool name lile Barok when I sound like a nerd? Arsé-kun: Barok: Because your father's an idiot. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Sheepy: Crow: If you drop the r, it's just "cow"... Sheepy: Crow: But Klimt isn't that cool of a name, either. Arsé-kun: Barok: Clearly I was named better because I AM better than him. Obviously. Sheepy: Crow: Well, you stuck with me. Dad didn't. I can't disagree. Sheepy: Crow: Having him around is great, but I actually don't know him well... Arsé-kun: Barok: *FINALLY!! SOMEONE AGREES! CONFETTI! PARTY CANNONS!* *nnnot that anyone can see that, he just kinda nods* Arsé-kun: Barok: That takes time. Sheepy: Crow: We don't interact much because I wake up at a reasonable time [5 AM] and he wakes up way later than you'd expect. Arsé-kun: Barok: 5 pm? Sheepy: Crow: Usually earlier. Sheepy: Crow: Like noon. Arsé-kun: Lance: Still better than his work schedule, I'll give you that... he then realizes he said that out loud and shuts fuck* Sheepy: Crow: Work schedule? Sheepy: Crow: He doesn't tell me about work. Arsé-kun: Lance: That's for the best. Sheepy: Crow: Why? Arsé-kun: Lance: It isn't fun to talk about. Sheepy: Crow: Ah, so he does bad things Arsé-kun: Lance: Did he not tell you..? Sheepy: Crow: I wouldn't remember if it wasn't more than once. Sheepy: Crow: My memory isn't very good so I mostly devote it to my job. Arsé-kun: Lance: He had a particularly bad job. He didn't enjoy it as far as I was aware. Sheepy: Crow: His dog did try mauling me though. Arsé-kun: Lance: That sounds about right. Sheepy: Crow: It's kinda rude. Sheepy: Crow: Hedgehogs are spiky so dogs won't eat them... Sheepy: Crow: Maybe I'm not spiky enough? Arsé-kun: Killia: You're about as spiky as a children's bouncy house. Sheepy: Crow: Are those spiky? Arsé-kun: Killia: No. Sheepy: Crow:?! Arsé-kun: Killia: It's for children. Why would it have spikes? Sheepy: Crow: Because children like spiky things. Sheepy: Crow: Like dinosaurs! Sheepy: Crow: But if you think about it, no child has met a dinosaur before, so how do they know they're cool? Sheepy: Crow: There's Myumon ones still around but not fossilsauruses. Arsé-kun: Killia: The same reason dragons are cool. They just are. Sheepy: Crow: If I met a dragon, I'd punch it to say I've punched a dragon. Arsé-kun: Killia: The dragon would most certainly end you. Sheepy: Myrrdin: I know a dragon you could punch, but he'd probably remove your hand and your arm from its socket before saying, "QUEST: Unarmed Combat COMPLETE"... Sheepy: Myrrdin: You could also punch his dad but he'd just ignore you. Arsé-kun: Kay: You kiddin'? He'd overshoot and knock yer ass out before takin' a leg to "scare" you. Arsé-kun: Lance: And he is still currently fighting a reaper outside. I hope they are still on the highway and not coming any closer. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If they break stuff, which do I sue? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...Both would just end my life on the spot, right? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Grif. How the hell do we sue Death?? Grif would just get a minigame tutorial. Sheepy: Myrrdin: You think he'd cheese being sued? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Absolutely. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can see it now! A full court room! And then Griflet enters, stiffly T-posing and crouching at the desk repeatedly. He glitches out of bounds and skips the event. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Spinning around in circles three times and sliding your foot up against the defendant stand will cause you to clip into the ground and be able to walk outside of the courtroom during session. Arsé-kun: Kay: Literally ain't got any idea what half those words mean! Sheepy: Myrrdin: We're considering Griflet escaping a courtroom by breaking the laws of physics to his advantage. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Physics don't work like this, but he might think they do! Sheepy: Rikao: An opponent incapable of being tried by law... Scary. ...it is. Arsé-kun: Barok: *he picks his head back up to re-enter the conversation* If he tries that shit in court, I blow him up on the spot and we never talk about it again. Sheepy: Myrrdin: But that would be initiating combat, right? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Can you run in court? Arsé-kun: Barok: You cannot run in court. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hmm...So he's locked in with you and you're locked in with him. Sheepy: Myrrdin: So it's a battle until one side can no longer fight, but if he thinks he'll lose he may just play dead. Arsé-kun: Barok: If he can beat his uncle, and his uncle can beat me, this would be a very unfavorable situation. Never mind. He can hack whatever wall he wants. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Wallhacks are allowed! He can escape the law! Arsé-kun: Merlin: But can he escape deeznuts? Sheepy: Myrrdin: Depends on his agility. Arsé-kun: ?: *outside, slightly muffled* ---And that WILL be your final warning. Do not make me appear again for something so downright idiotic. Do I make myself clear, dragon? Sheepy: Grif: No. You're opaque. Arsé-kun: ?: ... ... Get out of my sight. Sheepy: *Grif suddenly comes crashing through a wall, landing on a nearby table!* Arsé-kun: *Kay doesn't even bother turning around to look. He knows.* Sheepy: Grif: The enemy has fled. Arsé-kun: Kay: Sounds more like the enemy kicked yer ass. Sheepy: Grif: Hi, Kay. Death yelled at me. Arsé-kun: Kay: Whatt'd you do now, Chucklefuck? Sheepy: Grif: I helped an old woman cross the street. Sheepy: Grif: However, it seems he disagrees with my methods. Arsé-kun: Kay: .... Did you toss the dame, or did you kill the road? Sheepy: Grif: I must protect old people. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that with no cars, old people won't be hit by cars. Sheepy: Grif: I realized that cars can't move without wheels on the road. Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet, cars have human drivers. Sheepy: Grif: So, I came to the obvious solution of flipping every car on the road. Sheepy: Grif: Yes, but these cars were unattended. Arsé-kun: Barok: Property damage. Sheepy: Grif: They moved by themselves. Sheepy: Grif: No one on top riding them. Arsé-kun: Barok: ... Arsé-kun: Lance: ........ Arsé-kun: Lance: Griflet. People ride inside of it. Sheepy: Grif: But you don't ride inside of a horse. Arsé-kun: *Kay gets himself another drink* Sheepy: Grif: Why ride inside of a car? Arsé-kun: Lance: It's made to contain and protect passengers. You aren't as protected on horseback. Sheepy: Grif:...... Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm.... Sheepy: Grif: Well, I'm sure the drivers will figure something out. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Like suing you for assault and property damage? Arsé-kun: Lance: And by flipping cars, you probably injured someone at least once. Grea---Terrible job. Don't do it again. Sheepy: Grif: Is that why Death came to face me? Sheepy: Grif: Unfortunately, my level isn't high enough for this. Sheepy: Grif: But my uncle gives good EXP, so maybe I'll just camp him. Sheepy: Crow: You're the dragon, right?! So I can punch you?! Sheepy: Grif: ? Arsé-kun: Kay: Get the caskets ready. Sheepy: *Crow punches Grif. COUNTER! Speaking of which, that's what Grif punches Crow into.* Sheepy: Grif: [Counter skill leveled up!] Arsé-kun: *Several things fall off the counter, many of them glass. Cups mostly, but also at least one bottle and a jar* Sheepy: Myrrdin:?! Arsé-kun: Merlin: And we have to clean up glass, now, too?! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, the jar! Arsé-kun: *THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB IS LOOSE! THE BLOB HAS A LOT OF GLASS SHARDS! THE BLOB IS LOOSE* Sheepy: Myrrdin: !!! Arsé-kun: *The curse blob proceeds to.... Beeline to Myrrdin and hide behind his leg.* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Ah, Griflet must've frightened it... Arsé-kun: Merlin: Now you've done it! Look, you scared a child now too! Horrible job, Grif! Sheepy: Grif:? Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: Kay: Grif, you dumb mother fucker, they're sayin you did a shit job. You did trash. Stop bein' an asshole for ten seconds. Sheepy: *Myrrdin bends down and gently picks up the curse blob. Hello!* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: But there's a chance that when I get punched, I'll counter. Arsé-kun: Merlin: Into the counter, cool, but have you considered? Making sure what you're doing is a good idea? You flipping cars seems to have a 0% approval rate! Arsé-kun: *the curse is hold* Sheepy: Grif: Hmmm... Sheepy: Grif: So don't flip cars. Arsé-kun: Lance: Only do so if absolutely necessary. Most drivers stop the car so you can safely cross. Sheepy: Grif: [TIP: Flipping cars is illegal. If you commit crimes, your friendship will drop with any witnesses.] Sheepy: Grif: I see. So don't flip cars. Sheepy: Grif: I'll avoid it in the future. Sheepy: *Crow's out cold...* Sheepy: Grif: But what if they don't stop their car? Arsé-kun: Lance: THEN you can flip it. Sheepy: Grif: I see. This information is useful. Sheepy: Grif: I didn't know. Arsé-kun: *Barok, looking about ten times more annoyed than he did when Crow arrived, begrudgingly gets out of his booth. Uh oh! Here comes the angel man* Sheepy: Grif: [A boss is approaching!] Sheepy: Grif: >Running is not an option! Arsé-kun: *Barok doesn't even give Grif a chance to have an opening turn. He just grabs Grif by the face, drags him to the door, and Blasts this man into orbit with what can be called a Holy Hyper Beam. Busting your wings out is worth it when you send a man into space* Sheepy: Myrrdin: Shoot, he's probably dead. Sheepy: Myrrdin: If he's not, I'd be surprised. Sheepy: Christo: (Right, I shouldn't aggravate him. I could be at the receiving end of that.) Arsé-kun: Barok: I really couldn't care less either way. *he goes to check on Crow* Sheepy: *Crow is still out. He's probably going to have some nasty bruises in the morning along with a lump on his head. Ouch* Arsé-kun: Merlin: Don't worry too much! Most wounds heal pretty quick in here! Sheepy: Christo: Even if it didn't, I could heal him. Arsé-kun: Merlin: That'd probably also be appreciated with the look I'm getting..! Sheepy: Christo: Do I have to...? Sheepy: Christo: This is the first peace and quiet I have had all day. Arsé-kun: Barok: It would be appreciated. Sheepy: Christo: Right... Sheepy: Christo: Right. I'll go ahead and do it. *he lifts his hands up, only to be startled by "You were returned to your previous autosave point!" appearing on a screen in front of him*) Sheepy: *Grif, too, appears, rubbing the back of his head.* Sheepy: Grif: ...I hit my head on the skybox. Arsé-kun: Barok: Good. Sheepy: Grif: No, it hurt a lot. heepy: Grif: Thankfully, according to many, I am hard headed along with empty headed so I cracked the skybox instead of my skull and nothing was inside to be damaged. Sheepy: Grif: If I'd cracked my skull thanks to you, I'd have cracked you in response. Sheepy: Grif: Anyway, if you truly want me to see a tour of your home, don't try to throw me there. Sheepy: Grif: I'll come there myself without your help. Sheepy: Christo: How will you go to heaven yourself? Do you intend to climb there with a ladder? *he's very clearly being sarcastic* Sheepy: Grif: If you put a ladder on a ladder and continue this forever, you'll eventually reach heaven. Arsé-kun: Merlin: I'm going to have a stroke. Sheepy: Grif: What? Don't let Elyan hear that. If he hears you eat strokes, he'll fear you. Sheepy: Grif: I have eaten a few uncooked but they're hard to catch because they fly. Arsé-kun: Merlin: ... Y'know, I'm not really feelin' it anymore. You kids have fun, I need to not hear you speak. Sheepy: Grif: Where are you going? Sheepy: Myrrdin: You remind me of Bedi but less comprehensible... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I need to reintegrate myself into incubus society and figure out why my energy drains faster than a chromebook. Maybe find a nice place on the moon to live, learn where the best brothels are, maybe even figure out what the hell's wrong with me. That, or I'll head to the club down the street. I'll figure out which on the way. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Hey, the best brothers are right here! You, me, and- eh, Meril isn't here for once... Arsé-kun: Merlin: I can't just drain you two! That's cruel and unusual! Sheepy: Myrrdin: I'd rather you didn't. Arsé-kun: Merlin: And anyway, you doofus, I said BROTHEL! Sheepy: Myrrdin: Great, now Grif's stupid has infected me. Sheepy: Grif: Don't lie. Sheepy: Grif: It's not communicable. Arsé-kun: *lancelot continues vibing with headphones on in the bg* Arsé-kun: Kay: It's not?? That's a shock. Sheepy: Grif: Why would it be? Sheepy: Grif: It's not as though you can read my mind. Arsé-kun: Kay: No, but you speak your mind, so we basically hear it anyway. Sheepy: Grif: Yes...that's true. Sheepy: Grif:..Right, I have a quest here. Arsé-kun: Lance: Myrrdin? Brace yourself. Sheepy: Myrrdin: What...? Sheepy rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 16 Sheepy: *Grif punches Myrrdin in the stomach! He drops to his knees, wheezing* Arsé-kun: [QUEST COMPLETED: You're Myrrdone for!] Sheepy: Grif: I did it. Arsé-kun: *grif gained some xp. yay.* Arsé-kun rolled a die with 20 sides. The die showed: 18 Arsé-kun: *... About a moment later, the Curse Blob Child rears up and bashes Grif in the knee for his Crimes. You have Angered it* Sheepy: Grif: --!! Sheepy: Grif: Ghh...! Arsé-kun: Merlin: Kick his ass, flubber. Sheepy: Grif: I see... This quest is more difficult than I thought... Sheepy: Myrrdin: Have y-you heard of solving things with words?! What did I do to deserve that?! Sheepy: Grif: Checking HP. *he opens up his stat screen* Arsé-kun: *He's still got most of his hp, he was just hit in the knee. Myrrdin is low, though, and something called "Angra" is at full health. etc, etc* Sheepy: Grif: A second enemy... Sheepy: Grif:...Or maybe just a neutral character? Arsé-kun: *Barok has used this situation to move crow and huddle up in his booth. Do Not Disturb* Sheepy: Grif: Right, I don't know what you did. Sheepy: Grif: Vivian gave me the quest. Arsé-kun: Lance: ...Did you not listen to what she said... Sheepy: Myrrdin: She definitely didn't! We just had a nice time talk-Ooowww...! Arsé-kun: Lance: She did give him that, but I don't think she intended this either. Sheepy: Myrrdin: Why...? Arsé-kun: *Lance shrugs* Arsé-kun: Kay: *turning to look over Grif's shoulder* the fuck's labelled Angry Sheepy: Grif: Angra........... Sheepy: Grif: The slime? Arsé-kun: Merlin: Wow! I can't believe your UI spoiled that whole segment!

[wonillaa]

driver vs passenger princess with enhypen

note this is very much inspired by woniebabe on tiktok bc i have been thinking abt this for so long and saw their post and it was like fate

heeseung is already jumping in the passenger seat before you can even get to the car … drink in one hand and his phone in the other on aux. “by the way you were supposed to turn there”

* gasps and grabs your thigh when a song he likes comes on (he chose it)

* keeps a box in the back with snacks he likes and feeds you while you drive

* pays you back by agreeing to get your gas when you drive 🤗

* knows the directions to every place ever

jay never lets you drive, claims its his duties as your boyfriend. lets you play whatever music you want but complains immediately whenever it gets too cold or too hot

* uses his horn more than he should, road rage personified i fear

* keeps tampons/pads and pain killers in the back if you have a period </3

* tries to show off by steering with his knee and accidentally swerves into the other lane

* every drive is karaoke, windows down both of you screaming the lyrics

jake starts off driving you around and asks more and more to be the passenger, “you’re just so good at it you know” and you both know he’s lying and hates driving

* points out every dog he sees

* buys you cute decorations for your car and air fresheners

* hand on your thigh at all times, plays the music so loud it’s embarrassing

* takes pictures and videos of you especially if you’re wearing sunglasses, he thinks you’re so cute 😓

sunghoon looooves driving you around meanwhile he is a danger behind the wheel, but he refuses to let you drive and argues that he’s never gotten in an accident so it’s fine

* likes to honk at people right when the light turns green, thinks he’s so funny

* speeds around corners and runs over curbs

* loves surprising you by pulling into your favorite coffee place and gets you treats

* shushes you if you talk over his favorite part in a song

you and sunoo have made an agreement that he drives if its dark but all other weather conditions are on you, he thinks night driving is relaxing he loves it

* prefers being a passenger so he can stare out the window and point things out to you

* you have a 24hour playlist you made together you shuffle every time

* when he drives he’ll hit potholes or slam on his breaks accidentally and just glance at you trying to not laugh and how your head just slammed against your window

* sunoo just reminds me of roadtrips so much and you two have each others gas station orders memorized

jungwon prefers driving but will let you decide, loves saying weeeeee on curves and gives people a thumbs down when they pass him

* big fan of cruise control and rants on how useful it is

* always gets you gas and washes your car for you

* randomly shows up by your house and texts you to come out because he’s bored

* very safe very good driver 🙏 you are in good hands

niki is nothing if not a passenger princess, cannot sit still either he goes from laying down with the ac blasting to dancing with the windows down

* do not even ask him to give you directions because he’ll read the map completely wrong and just laugh as you make the wrong turn and say “oopsie”

* asks to get snacks and says he’ll pay for it next time bc he definitely purposely forgot his wallet

* reaches over and honks at cars for you if they almost hit you “don’t get embarrassed he almost killed us!!”

* you two make so many car vlogs on post them on tiktok

* he is so spoiled and he deserves all of it 😔

[ravenofthefandoms]

The Lucky Stag: Part 3

Word Count: 4621 (oopsies)

Pairing: Sandor Clegane x reader

Characters: Sandor Clegane, original character (Marlys), original character (mentioned) (Jeremiah Bryne), Morgan (mentioned), Lem (mentioned), Gatins (mentioned), Brotherhood without Banners, Thoros of Myr, Beric Dondarrion

Warnings: some gore (it’s Game of Thrones), some mild angst, some mild fluff

A/N: Hi :) sorry for disappearing but life has been hectic. I’ve been wanting to write again, especially after House of the Dragon. Hopefully, people still wanna see more of this. Hopefully, for a time, I’ll have more regular updates and posts. As I said a while back, there are some Podrick x reader posts I have brewing plus some ideas for House of the Dragon. This one isn’t super exciting but I’ve got some plans for the next few chapters that should get the blood pumping if you will

Tags (let me know if you would like to be removed since it’s been so long): @anita-e-taylor, @my-bitch-loki @orange-sherbxrt

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters outside of my own original characters. The others belong to George R.R. Martin. I do not own any of the gifs used. They belong to the original creators.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3

You had been walking for ages, or what felt like it at least. Walking where, you did not know. Sandor had muttered to himself while he held you outside of the burning tavern, something about finding the men so he could tear them to bloody fucking pieces. Unfortunately, you had nothing but the singed, smoky clothes on your back and the aching hole in your chest left to your name. You knew, in reality, that it had only been a day and a half since your life had turned to ash but time no longer felt as it did before. Your eyes always felt dry, and your voice caught in your throat more often than not. Sandor could count the words you’ve spoken on his two hands.

On the first night, your friend, Marlys, was gracious enough to let you stay with her and her husband. She insisted that it was her duty as your friend, however. Another thing she tried to insist on was you sleeping in her and her husband’s bed, which he had heartily agreed to. You refused, though. Instead, you curled on the hay floor near the fireplace, Sandor sitting against the wall near your feet. 

Marlys was truly a kind woman, and you felt badly now for the way you were when you stayed there that night. You supposed that you shouldn’t, considering your grief was fresh and intense. The next morning, you and Sandor broke your fast with Marlys and her husband before they gave you enough food for a day of travel and a skin of water. Their kindness made tears well in your eyes. As you said your goodbyes, Sandor waited outside for you. 

Your childhood friend pulled you into a tight embrace. Tears spilled onto each others’ shoulders as she whispered her condolences. After a night of rest, you realized that you weren’t the only one who grieved your brother’s death, and held onto Marlys as tightly as she held onto you. “I’ll miss you, (Y/N). Promise you’ll come back someday.” You nodded in response, not trusting your voice to be steady. 

Letting go, you walked out to a patiently waiting Sandor. “Ready?” He knew what your real answer was, the same as anyone else’s would be. Your nod was good enough for him though. With one last tearful look towards probably the one place you wish you could stay, you began walking.

The first day of walking had been largely uneventful. Sandor led you with, surprisingly, gentle hands. Whether on your elbow, on the small of your back, or even holding your own in his, he never let go of you until you needed a break or it was time to set up camp. He found a clearing off the side of the path you had been traveling. With no ax, he was unable to cut any logs to build a proper fire, and instead gathered twigs and sticks from the surrounding copse of trees. As he gathered the firewood, you sat and prepared the area where the fire would blaze. Stones from a nearby stream were set in a circle to keep the flames contained. You handed it over to Sandor when he returned. He began to stack the wood, stuffing fallen leaves and tall grass into the center.

By the time you sat and made yourself as comfortable as you could on the hard ground, Sandor had the tinder smoking, then smoldering, and finally beginning to burn. As the fire slowly grew, Sandor moved to sit next to you. His eyes watched you carefully, unsure what to do or say. He had never been good with words, most of them crass and rude. He didn’t want to be crass or rude with you though. When it came to you, Sandor wanted to make you smile and laugh, to see the glimmer in your eye when you spoked animatedly, to keep you warm during the chilly nights, to-... He shook his head slightly, needing to derail this trail of thinking. As odd yet enjoyable this sensation was, there were priorities to be dealt with first. He needed to track down those sons of bitches that hurt you so and make them regret ever being born. 

“Sandor,” you murmured. He looked down and grunted. “Thank you. For everything you’ve done for me.” He suddenly found his hands, fiddling with a small twig, to be much more interesting. 

“Don’ thank me. I’ve been more trouble than not,” he muttered. A soft chuckle, more of a sigh than anything, fell from your lips and you shook your head, almost as if he had made some silly joke. Pride swelled in his heart for a moment – hearing any sort of sweet sound from you was a blessing. You didn’t respond to his words, only scooted closer to him as a chill began to creep into the air. Your shoulders grazed his, body heat warming you as much as the fire in front of you. “You should get some rest.” His eyes flicked down to you, the smallest of bitter smiles gracing your lips. 

“Aye, I should.” You looked up at him; the lack of, well, everything in your eyes made him uneasy. He knew as well as you that rest would not come easy, if at all. Your eyes returned to the flames, your gaze becoming unfocused in them. A long moment lasted before you spoke again. “I don’t know what to do anymore.” Your voice was soft, barely more than a whisper. Sandor kept his gaze fixated on your face, waiting for you to continue. “I’ve always known what needed to be done. Cook the venison, bake the bread, serve the ale, keep the tavern running, watch over my-... watch over my brother.” The last few words came out slightly strangled, as though you choked on them. “I am lost now.” 

Another long silence fell between you before Sandor reached over and took one of your hands in his own. “You’re not lost. You’re not broken neither.” Your gaze lifted to meet his own. “You’re strong. And I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll protect you, if you let me.” You were able to offer him a small, watery smile along with a quick nod.

“Thank you, Sandor.” Your eyes returned to the flames for a moment longer before you closed them. “I want nothing more,” you said softly. Again, silence fell over the two of you, nothing to hear aside from the crackling of the fire. Sandor was unsure how long he stared into the dancing flames before your head nodded onto his shoulder and soft snores filled the air. 

The next morning, you awoke with a start, images from the past few days haunting your dreams. The sun was just beginning to climb over the horizon, though the chill of night still hung in the air. A shiver ran down your spine as your body began to wake from its slumber. Your tailbone and legs ached as you stood and made your way to the stream. The water was cold and brisk. Dipping your hands in the babbling brook made your arms break out into gooseflesh. You cupped the water in your hands, gently bringing it to your face. The freezing shock was necessary, you felt, before you began on your journey again. When you returned to the fire, Sandor’s eyes were open and sought out your approaching figure. 

He said nothing, something you were accustomed to after a few months of knowing him. Sandor would never be considered a particularly chatty man. However, sitting in silence with the large man brought you a sense of peace and calm. 

You nodded once at the question in his eyes, and he rose to his feet. There was nothing for you to gather or put away, only the still-smoldering embers of the night’s fire. Sandor kicked dirt over it, if only to ensure that the flames would stay smothered rather than springing back to life. Once again, he guided you to the path with sure steps. There was a bloodlust in his eyes as he tracked the men that he was intent on killing. It didn’t scare you, strangely enough. For once, it made you feel… protected. You couldn’t say that you remember a time when you felt protected. Your brother, gods rest his soul, was strong and protected you from men who were too handsy or too violent. There was always the silent agreement, however, that you were the one that protected your brother. You raised him, cared for him, and made sure he grew to be the man that he was beginning to be. This sensation from Sandor, it lifted a weight off of your shoulders that you had not realized was there. A shadow that had hung from you for as long as you could remember.

Gently, you shook these thoughts from your head. You instead focused on the path ahead, watching and wary of your surroundings. Many hours passed, early morning turning into early afternoon. As though he was indeed a hound picking up a scent, Sandor stopped suddenly. He turned to your left. You turned as well, trying to see or hear or smell whatever it was that he was sensing. After a few moments, you could hear the sound of raucous laughing, as well as cursing. It was enough for Sandor to tug you along gently, despite his long, angry strides.

You walked just behind Sandor, the sound of laughter growing as you continued to walk closer. An ax laid next to a stump and a pile of chopped logs. From where you stood, you could see four men, all somewhat familiar, sitting around a fire. Sandor stopped, looking back at you slightly with a warning in your eyes. It was something you understood quickly. You nodded and took a step back.

That bloodlust was back in his eyes, if it ever left. He grabbed that ax and began stalking towards the group of men. By the time they realized what was happening, it was too late. Sandor swung his ax with a yell at the first man, lopping off his head with ease. It was at this moment that you turned around, hand pressed to your mouth to keep the bile down. It wasn’t that you had a sudden guilt about the silent agreement between you and Sandor to avenge your brother. In fact, you quite enjoyed the ferocity with which he swung his weapon. What made your stomach churn was the memory that it returned to you: your brother’s corpse. The grisly nature of the scene unfolding was something that you found you just could not watch. Squelching flesh as it was maimed by steel still reached your ears. Your eyes closed quickly, taking deep breaths to keep your stomach calm. As the final man whimpered in pain, you could hear Sandor speaking to him. You weren’t sure what Sandor said, his voice too soft to be carried over the wind. You did, however, hear the dying man scream at the giant before him.

All you could hear was further grumbling from Sandor. You did not open your eyes nor did you remove your hand from your mouth. The crunch of leaves and sticks stopped behind you. “It’s over now, little flower.” His hand gently came up to grab your wrist, pulling it away from your face. Your eyes opened slowly, looking up to meet Sandor’s own gaze.

“Did I scare ya?” There was something in his voice that had you shaking your head quickly.

“No, Sandor. I just… I couldn’t watch.” He nodded softly. Your hand drifted up slowly to rest on his scarred cheek. “Thank you.” Your voice was more frail than you expected or wanted it to be. “They met the ends they deserved.” 

He nodded his agreement. 

“Aye, they did. There are still more. The one who led them, with the yellow cloak. We find him, and your brother will have been avenged.” You nodded, looking up at him with a fierceness in your eyes that made his heart stutter a moment. With no more need to stay, the two of you continued back on your journey. 

Surprisingly, you did not walk as far as you thought you would have to before the sounds of men reached your ears again. It was distinctive this time, and much closer than the last group of men had been. Sandor looked down at you, nodded, and then headed towards the noise, ax ready to attack.

To both your own and Sandor’s surprise, the men you sought were standing on barrels with nooses around their necks. A handful of men, no more than ten, stood around them, and one sat above on the tree branch. Swords were partially drawn in caution, until one of the men spoke.

“Clegane.” He was a handsome man, the one who spoke. An eye patch covered his right eye, a crop of sandy hair cropped close to his head. If it weren’t for the setting you found yourself in, you would think him to be some dashing knight that you, as did many of the other girls in your village, dreamt of being swept away by. You stayed close to Sandor, however, almost hiding behind him as a child does behind their mother’s skirts.

“The fuck you doing here?” Another man asked. This one had long hair gathered into a knot atop his head and a deep red cloak hanging around his shoulders. His gaze flicked to you, seemingly amused.

Sandor pointed at the soon-to-be hanged men. “Chasing them.” His hand, still gripping yours, tensed slightly. “You?”

The second man to speak looked back at the men before responding. “Hanging them.” He seemed almost bemused in the way he spoke, as though it were just another sunny afternoon. 

“Any particular reason?” Was Sandor’s somewhat irritated response. The clipped conversation had your eyes darting between the men as they spoke. 

The first man spoke again. “They’re our men, or they were. They attacked a nearby sept and murdered the villagers. Burnt down a tavern in the next village too. Why do you want them?” His eye flicked to you, as though just realizing that the Hound was not alone. Curiosity made his head quirk to the side, his lone eye seeming to look you up and down. Not in the way you were used to men doing, but in a way that made your skin crawl. Like he was reading your body, your mind, and your soul. There was a part of you that felt sure he could hear every thought in your head.

“Same reason.” Sandor jerked his head to you. “It was her tavern they burnt. Her brother they murdered.” Your hand tensed in his, and he squeezed it gently. “She saved me.”

“Saved you? A surprise anyone would think to do that.” The second man seemed to be quite witty, or at least thought he was. There was a twinkle of mirth in his eyes that you could see, even from your distance. 

Sandor looked down at you once again before returning his gaze to the men in front of him. “Aye, it is.” A pause and he started walking towards them intently, you following behind him. “They’re ours.” Sandor said, a statement of fact rather than a request.

The first man moved forward. “It is the Brotherhood’s good name they’ve dragged through the dirt.

“Fuck your name.” Sandor’s response was instant. The two of you came to a stop in front of the men. “They’re ours. I’ve killed ya once before, Dondarrion, happy to do it again.” In response, a man in the small crowd drew an arrow, pointing it at Sandor. You frowned and moved to the side between the archer and Sandor, releasing his hand in the process. “Drop that arrow, you bloody girl.” His eyes remained focused on the man he addressed as Dondarrion. “Tougher girls than you tried to kill me.” Sandor raised his ax, pointing it at the archer but careful of where he knew you stood next to him. A beat of silence and Sandor turned to start stalking towards the archer.

“You can have one of them.” Sandor turned back.

“Two.” It was almost incredulous how they seemed to barter over the lives of these men, who got to kill them. The two men who spoke with Sandor looked at each other. The second one nodded to the first, Dondarrion, who in turn nodded to Sandor.

They turned to the three men whose fates they so casually debated. Sandor went to the one on the farthest left, looked him up and down, and swung his ax back. It was grabbed, however, by the second man before he could bring it down. “No, no, no. We’re not butchers. We hang them.”

“Hanging? “ Sandor’s voice was annoyed. “All over in an instant. Where’s the punishment in that? Not enough after what they did to her brother. What they did to her ho-” Your hand on his arm stopped Sandor in his rant. He looked down to you, where you shook your head. There was no point in arguing. The other four you found died in pain and suffering. It was enough for you. Sandor pursed his lips and shook his head slightly. 

“They’ll die.” Was the simple answer from the red-cloaked man, whose hands rested so casually upon the pommel of his sword.

“We all bloody die, except for this one here.” Sandor looked back to Dondarrion, making your brow furrow in confusion. You turned to look at the man as well, still standing a bit behind Sandor. The man looked at you, a small, almost knowing smile upon his lips as he held your gaze. It unsettled you a bit, so you looked back and up at the men facing their deaths. “I’ll only gut one of them.” The bartering nearly made you snort with laughter, but you held it in.

“No.” Dondarrion switched his gaze from you to Sandor as he spoke. The giant man next to you turned and glared at the man.

“Chop off one hand.” This time you couldn’t help the snort of laughter, the gazes of the men around you turning upon you suddenly.

“We gave you two out of the three, out of respect of the lady’s loss. That’s generous.” His eye held a bit of warning for Sandor, telling him not to push his luck. Sandor sighed and looked down at you. You nodded and he turned back to Dondarrion. 

“Bunch of nances,” he grumbled. Sandor threw his ax to the ground in annoyance before looking up at the men. “There was a time I would’ve killed all seven of you just to gut these three.” Your brow quirked at his statement but you paid it no further mind.

“You’re getting old, Clegane. Or maybe your lady love has just made you soft.” Again with the mirthful look from the red-cloaked man, whose eyes roamed you freely. His gaze, though holding no malice, roamed over you with far less intensity and far more interest in the decolletage visible from the top of your gown. This was the gaze you were used to from men, and did not unsettle you like the other man’s did.

Sandor’s eyes turned to a deadly glare at the man before turning back to the men soon to be killed. “Well, he’s not.” His foot moved to the barrel that the first man stood on and kicked it from underneath his feet. He dropped suddenly and a sickening crunch was heard as he struggled against the noose. Sandor moved to the next one, turning back to you first with a question in his eyes. Your eyes leveled with his before flitting to the man in the middle.

“Did you kill my brother? With your own sword? The man you hung from a tree with the deer he had killed.” Your steely gaze leveled on the man, a pathetic whimper leaving his mouth. Violently, he shook his head, muttering what you believed to be lies. You had no proof save the the cloak around his neck. The cloak was not something you recognized, but the pins holding it together were. Those were the pins you had bought your brother for his sixteenth nameday. Your hand reached up, grasping the pins gently as you looked at them before you ripped them off. You put your bootclad foot on the edge of the barrel, leveling to meet his eyes once again.

“Mistress, please, I’ll give you anything.” The final words barely escaped his lips before you pushed the barrel over and the air was stolen from his lungs. With this man, there was no snap, only the strained gasp as his throat quickly began to become crushed against the rope. You kept your gaze upon the thrashing man’s face, watching with a deepset frown as his eyes seemed to bulge from his face and the color drained from his face to only be replaced by a blue hue. Dondarrion, who had sidled up next to you, quickly kicked over the barrel of the last man, who also choked. As soon as the third man began his suffering, you stepped back. The two men who Sandor seemed to know watched with varying expressions as Sandor looked at the middle man’s feet. The red-cloaked one seem bemused as Sandor removed the man’s boots and compared them to his own feet, while the other seemed intrigued.

“Got anything to eat?” Sandor finally asked once he pulled the new boots onto his feet. The men nodded and began walking to where they had set up camp. It wasn’t far, but far enough from the road where the deadmen hanged that you could no longer hear the creaking of the rope as their limp bodies swayed in the breeze.

A few men had stayed behind, assumingly to cook the game they had hunted and keep the fires stoked. You sat next to Sandor on a log, your knees drawn close to your chest. A leg of rabbit was in your hand but your gaze stayed on the lapping waves of the lake next to you. Two men sat on the log to your right and the man called Dondarrion on the left. The red-cloaked man soon joined you, a skin of something in his hands. “Enjoying yourself?” 

Sandor examined the rabbit bone, cleaning it of its meat. “I prefer chicken.” A small smile graced your lips before you took another bite from the leg.

“Would you like to introduce us to your friend, Clegane? It is the proper thing to do.” The red-cloaked man passed the skin to Sandor, who took a swig of it before handing it to you. You took it, the burn of alcohol bringing a slight relief to you.

“Not really,” he replied. You nudged him with your elbow, though this was only met with a grumble from the man. “(Y/N), that is Beric Dondarrion, leader of this… whatever it is. And that bald cunt with the topknot is Thoros of Myr. This is (Y/N).”

They both nodded to you, which you returned. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance, my lady.” 

You snorted and shook your head. “I’m no lady, Ser. But I thank ye, for the food. And the justice.” Though you spoke of it, it didn’t really feel as though justice had been served. Those men were dead, but so was your brother. You wondered if the dull ache in your heart would ever leave, or even lessen at all. The men seemed to be able to see the dull look in your eyes. Sandor’s hand gripped your knee gently, tossing the rabbit bone into the flames. Your eyes met his, and a small smile lifted the corners of your lips. He nodded and turned back to Thoros and Beric, though his hand didn’t leave you. The aforementioned men shared a look, noticing this surprisingly sweet gesture of comfort from the Hound. 

Beric nodded at your words before returning his attention to Sandor once again. “You ought to join us.” You listened as Sandor snorted, responding to Beric. At this point, you tuned yourself out of the conversation, the only thing anchoring you to reality was Sandor’s hand on your leg. You finished the rest of the rabbit leg that had been given to you earlier, tossing the bone into the fire. 

Your eyes lingered over the water, lapping at the muddy shores. The image of the strangled man kept flashing in your mind, but you steeled yourself against it. He suffered, hopefully more than your brother did. This was not enough, but it had to be. You would make it so. 

The men continued to speak, Sandor’s thumb rubbing soft and slow circles against your knee. He stood, giving one reassuring pat to your leg before he walked to the edge of the lake and began to fiddle with his pants. You averted your eyes quickly, attempting to keep a soft blush from your cheeks as your eyes found the first thing that wasn’t Sandor. Unfortunately, that thing was the amused gaze of Thoros of Myr. Suddenly, something he said registered in your brain. “You’ve brought him back? Not healed him, but… how?” The man who called himself a priest chuckled into his drink. 

“I prayed.” Beric pulled up his shirt to show you many scars, many of which should have killed him. “Six times, isn’t it?” Beric nodded to Thoros’ question. “I just got lucky. Or he did, I suppose.” Beric dropped his shirt as Sandor returned from relieving himself.

They continued their conversation, though you only payed half a mind to it. The fact that Beric had died six times but was still standing before you, very much alive, was incredible. They continued to talk about fighting, cold winds, and mysterious creatures that sounded like tales that the old women in the village would tell you as a child. “It’s not too late, Clegane.” This was the last thing Beric said to Sandor, silently awaiting an answer to his proposition. Sandor gave a soft sigh, staring at Beric before looking down at you.

His gaze held yours for a long moment, longer than you’ve had before. A soft emotion that you couldn’t quite place entranced you. “Well, what do ya say, lass? Ever been to the North?” You shook your head slightly. “Would ya like to?” A brief moment of clarity washed over you. You accepted Sandor’s offer of protection. You thought that, once your brother’s killers were caught, he would see it as a job done. Or maybe he would simply refuse to bring you, a woman, on what was doubtlessly a dangerous adventure. It seemed that this was not the case. How it seemed, at least to you, was that Sandor was intent on staying with you. And this thought made your heart feel a little brighter than it had before, and a smile painted your mouth. A real smile, one that reminded Sandor of the smiles you would offer him back in the tavern. The smile that always made his heart skip a beat, despite that particular sensation frightening him.

“Aye, I think I would like to see the North. It’s not like there’s much left for me in the Riverlands.” Beric nodded his head to you while Thoros raised his skin and took another drink. Sandor offered you a small, secret smile before taking your fingers in his hand as discreetly as he could. It wasn’t discreet at all, but thankfully, neither Thoros nor Beric felt the need to say anything.

[ghxstlypuppet]

This was suposed to be just a comfort fic thing because i've been having a Matt brainrot lately and idk why ,but things got out of hand as they usually do for me so oopsie-

I wasn't going to post but depending on the feedback on this one i might write more.

Comfort fic • Eddsworld

Genre : kinda angst and fluff

Gender neutral reader

Warnings : a few cuss words nothing much tho

Word count : i have no idea it was like 8 or 9 pages of my phone notes

KEEP IN MIND ENGLISH IS NOT MY FIRST LANGUAGE SO IM SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS AND STUFF LIKE THAT

~Enjoy~

You got home after a very stressful day at work, life has not been treating you well lately and you just feel drained extremely exhausted not having time to do the things you like or even to talk with your friends, you were staying at your friends house for the weekend you thought that being there with them could make you feel better , after all they always knew a way to cheer you up, when you got there tho you were greeted with nothing but silence , the boys, Edd, Tom, Matt amd Tord had all gone out to buy snacks and food even drinks for that weekend they wanted it to be special for you, you sighed after knocking on the door a few times and getting no answear so you texted them in the little group you guys had, they quickly answeared and Matt said he was going to meet you there while the others kept buying the snacks, you agreed and waited even tho you were exhausted and feeling overwhelmed, some customers had treated you terribly today and you felt that it wouldn't take much more for you to break down at any moment, you were strong and often tried not to show much of your emotions but sometimes everything was too much and you had to take it all off, you didn't noticed you were zooning out until you felt a few taps on your shoulder, you slightly jumped being caught by surprised but sighed

- Hey Matt

- Hey y/n! ...ahm..are you alright?

The tall ginger asked, he could tell something was off but he never liked to push you into talking unlike Tord he was very patient even Tom was more patient than Tord but all of them always tried to help somehow

- Uh yeah i'm fine , just tired had a lot of work..

You said forcing a smile not even noticing your eyes tearing up  a little just with Matt's simple question

- Well, alrighty then let's head inside the others will be back soon, they are just buying a lot , believe me, a lot of stuff ,edd wants to make sure that the cola will be enoughz Tom's buying doritos and smirnoff of course but he's also buying some of your favorite snacks, and even Tord was talking about buying the gummy worms that you like

- He remembered that?

- It's all he kept talking about to be honest

You asked kinda surprised , of all of them Tord was the one you talked less it was hard to get close to him for some reason. You and Matt got inside the house and you took a seat on the sofa sighing once more , Matt looked at you for a moment his expression changing to one of worry, he then approached you and sat beside you on the sofa , one of his hands patting your back gently as he spoke

- You know you can talk to me right? I worry and i care about you, me , edd, tom even tord, i know you guys aren't that close but still, you seemed a bit off since i saw you outside, it's not good to keep things inside for too long y/n..

And that was it... His gentle voice full of worry, his soft pats on your back, that was what made you start sobbing without even noticing , you grabbed the fabric of your hoodie looking down while the tears started to fall , Matt got even more worried thinking it was something he said

- H-Hey i'm sorry i didn't mea-

Before he could finish you turned around looking at him and almost jumping on the ginger for a hug , you couldn't say nothing the sobbing made your words sound like nonsense , Matt hugged you back ,a tight yet soft hug

- It's okay... i'm here and soon the others will be here too... it's gonna be alright

He said patting your back, your tears were soaking his shoulder he could feel the warmth but he just wanted to comfort you now

- I-I'm s-sorry i'm kinda soaking your coat...

You said managing to let out a giggle trying to dry your tears, you could hear Matt chuckling while he hugged you slightly more thight now, after what feel like eternity your sobs were calming down you let go of the hug

- Sorry about that...

- You say sorry waay too much you know?

- Oh.. s- I mean yeah i guess..

Matt giggled patting your hair and using the sleeves of his hoodie to dry up your face

- Are you feeling better now? Wanna talk about what happened?

- Yeah... i'm good, thank you Matt, uh i.. i don't know i'm just exhausted ,guess i can say that life had been being a bitch with me, work has been killing me , im not having time to myself, i thought i would have to cancel this weekend with you guys...

As you were talking you heard a comotion outside it was the others comming back, shit, your face was puffed you looked terrible at the same time you didn't wanted them to see you like that you also couldn't care less at that moment, you and Matt watched as the door handle turned and the door opened, you tried your best to give the boys a smile and waved at them but they were more than quick to drop everything (carefully) on the floor and the sofa and run at your directionn, Edd was the first to talk to you

-What happened? Were you crying? Why??

You laughed a bit , nodding but reassuring him that you were okay now

- It was just exhaustion but Matt helped me a lot...

You said grabbing Matt's hand and rubbing it sofly smiling at him before letting go, he blushed  bit but smiled at you , Tom was sitting on the sofa's arm beside you and he messed with your hair before saying

- Been keeping stuff for yourself again huh? You know that it's not good to do that

- Oh i wonder with who i learned to do it...

You said starring at him, you knew the boys for a few years now and ended up picking some habits from all of them, you kept starring at Tom until he said something that you couldnt make out what it was before getting up and getting some of the groceries going to the kitchen, you laughed at that before you "accidentally" crossed eyes with Tord

- What?

He said looking at you, he was never the best person to give advice or comfort but he sighed

- Don't be like this Tord

Matt said looking at Tord that sighed rolling his eyes

- Remember when you lost that bet with me and you had to go to wallmart wearing a-

Before he could finish you threw a pillow at his face, you couldn't even remember now that a few moments ago you were bawling your eyes out, he cussed you and threw the pillow back making you get up and run after him

- I bet 20 bucks that y/n can best the shit out of him

Said Tom with a amused look just observing you and Tord running around

- This is not something to bet o-

-30

Said Edd also amused by all of that chaos, they both stared at Matt , Matt looked confused for a bit , all he could focus on was on seeing you feeling better now, you were laughing -almost breaking the entire house- but you were having fun

- I am not going to participate on this...

Matt said, both Edd and Tom kept staring at him they could here a crash upstairs following by you and Tord screaming at each other

- GOT YOU COMMIE!

- GET OFF OF ME YOU BASTARD!

Matt looked at Tom and Edd with a smug look

-50