#i cannot FUCKING find anything
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Hornfels: oh hey you're back early-
Me: sun's haunted
Hornfels: what?
Me: *flipping off the Nomai statue and climbing back in the ship* sun's haunted
#outer wilds#* through gritted teeth * i am having fun i am having fun i am having fun#i hate the fucking hourglass twins so fucking much oh my fucking god#i thought it was fine and then The Sand#i cannot FUCKING find anything#and by the time i have a clue theres SAND#FUCK#i dont wanna move on to ash twin till i figure out ember twin first though#God.#i refuse to look up a guide cause for ONCE im going into a game completely blind i will NOT spoiler that shit for myself#i will simply grit my teeth and scream at the sunless city to show me its GODDAMN SECRETS#dragons chatting
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i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
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HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!11!!!11;;
lol so after drawing for the entire day i finally finished,, the beloveds
these go to my two dearest friends ever <3 @hashal-nutcracker @elysiaaurea
and these for the people that have inspired me to start posting my own Lethal Company blorbo content... (left to right: @appri-dot @boxguysaur8 @guest0666 @lev-the-demon @ballcrusher74 @plasticviolence)
UUUHHHHH SAPPY WORDS UNDER THE CUT - my english sucks and it's so lateee;;
BUT ANYWAYS,, I know this may not be some mind blowing piece of fanart (taking into account i'm the worst and slowest artist ever LOL), but I wanted to make something to thank everyone on this date :') Literally joined the fandom on one of the lowest points in my life;; and just the amount of positivity and love I've been getting ever since warms my heart so much.
I literally found one of my best friends here, reconnected with some other old friendships and amazingly found my current partner too (you know who YOU are i'm just too shy to name you,,, I LOVE YOUU<3<3<33<3)!!!!11!!
I just wish I could have been posting more and interacting with all of you :') it eventually got pretty overwhelming with the amount of stuff happening around me irl, but remember this fucking community will always have the biggest place in my heart FOREVER.
BYE HOW I SAID IT'S,, 12AM AND I CHUGGED 4 ENERGY DRINKS TO FINISH THIS. I'm now gonna pass out on the floor after i finish having this stroke <3<3 BYEEEEEE!!!
#lethal company#lethal company oc#lethal company nutcracker#my guys#soda art#if you find any grammar mistakes idc i'm too tired to change anything#KJAJHWHJFHAJSFA I HOPE YOU ALL LOVE TJIS#I'M SO EXCITED#LITERALLY CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF#Is it too cringe to love this fucking game so much??#I THINK NOT#EVERYONE IS SO WHOLESOME#also i'm so happy with how much y'all helped me better my art skills :'D#AJHWBKGKJSGD I WILL ALWAYS LOVE NUTCRACKERS <#<3
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i just think
#excuse me. sorry. mommy? sorry. mommy- sorry. mo-#veilguard spoilers#look.#did i beat mythal into the ground? mayhaps. absolutely.#do i also find her hot? yes.#let a woman be evil#god i hate her. i love her.#''she was the best of them'' the bar was in the fuckin ground solas????#i wasnt gonna go into my opinion on her but here we go#i hate this woman. i love this woman. she's manipulative. she's not sorry about anything at all. redeeming quality Where?#some kinda spirit turns into a woman and starts a thing w elgarnan and peer pressures a spirit of wisdom to take a body against its will#hatches lyrium dagger rendering titans tranquil plan to end the earthquakes bc she and her ppl where fucking??? stealing their blood????#but again convinces wisdom spirit to do it/work out the details she just does the actual ritual everyone goes yay mythal!#gets murdered by her husband/other???children/siblings? whatever the fuck they are to each other#yada yada fast forward like 7k years#she's a swamp witch now talking in riddles and laughing at inappropriate times fdksjfksdla#and traumatizing young daughters she continues to give to birth to#and turns into a dragon like. literally. every. game. this bitch cannot stop turning into a dragon. it's her favorite thing to do#godforbid a woman have hobbies anyway#so then she's slowly amassing power and hinting at a RECKONING REVENGE bc she was BETRAYED and she knows solas is gonna pull some shit#but then she just lets him kill her/take her glowy blue essence and there's no reckoning#no revenge#she appears to her latest daughter as a ghost and bestows 1 last curse upon her:#secondhand embarrassment for realizing she shemsplained to the dreadwolf himself#for some reason she materializes from the statue and goes ''sorry you felt that way solas'' and vanishes again#hilar. iconic. go girl give us nothing.#i love her i hate her that's how it is.
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HOW did Stain not run up to him and hug him I don't know.
The voices he made while crying killed me.
#i couldn't find this pic on Pinterest#so i took a screenshot myself#and GOSH#this scene is so fucking sad and heartbreaking#I CANNOT WATCH IT AGAIN#HORRIBLE THE WAY TOSHIS VOICE IS#SO DESPERATE AND SAD#GOSHH AND THE THINGS HE SAYS TO IZUKU FUCK MEEE#THOSE TWO AND THESE TWO#MY HEARTTTT#i- i couldn't even hold back my tears#his VOICE#i cannot get over anything in this scene#THE BENTO#THE “u haven't eaten yet :(”#HELP ME REALEWSEE EMEEE#NEVER make this man cry EVER again#please#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#akaguro chizome#all might#stain mha#izuku midoriya#stainmight#<- ig?
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ngl, the more I think about it, the more I feel conflicted over how people sexualize my characters.
On the one hand, it would be silly to deny that I don't go out of my way to create aesthetically pleasing/attractive characters because I love to draw what I enjoy, and I love it when people simp for them.
But on the other hand, sometimes it does bother me that people are so fixated on sex and their own arousal that they miss important lore/plot information that I get a bit frustrated
#txt#i dont really mind that people missed the fact that powers had horns but i do have issues with people thinking the scene would lead up to#sex??? lili had a very clearly shocked face but people were expecting them to just. have sex and fall in love#twitter and instagram is pretty respectful to my works but i think webtoons and especially tiktok (good lord tiktok) is where people are#just. like they're not even paying attention because they wanna fuck my ocs lol#its a lot of work to try to give these incredibly short comics decent pacing and dialogue and it sucks when people ignore gestures or#verbal communication because they saw powers muscled chest and went 'oh yeah. its sex time'#i started posting my bugtopia comics to tiktok and these people are so goddamn obsessed with sexualizing everything that i read comments#where people were expecting arachne to peg her FOUR YEAR OLD SON#and its like. hey guys. im glad you enjoy my work but i dont like how you cannot perceive my characters as anything#but something to whack off to#anyways i dont see myself discussing this on twitter because unfortunately people have 0 fucking reading comprehension lol#to this day i get rude messages accusing me of hating people who enjoy lesbian media or finding my characters hot#because i asked people to not call me a fucking f*ggot when i draw to men kissing
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This time on: "Daughter Impulsively Does a Thing", local catgirl believes she could write a fanfic despite having literally zero experience in the writing department
#*clenches fist* this is so embarassing but i need to remember that i have to things embarassed or else i wont get anywhere 😞😞#and yeagh. the fic was going to be about hettimir because of fucking course it is!?!?!???#SIGGHHH..I ?? I JUST??? auughhfghhgh im really craving some hettimir food but i havent been in the mood to draw them at all lately#<- mostly cuz im procrastinating the idea of even drawing anything but. yknow...#AND IVE BEEN DYYIINNGGGGG TO FIND ANY NEW HETTIMIR FICS SOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOB#if ur reading this and you've written hettimir before (which im assuminh is a 50/50 since ik some of you do occasionally check my blog)-#just know that you are literally doing the lords service i CANNOT thank you enough ☹️☹️☹️🙏🙏🙏🙏#BUT STILL...... auuuayhfugughhgghghgughghhhhhhh#...so ive decides to take matters into my own hands and be the change i wannt to see in the world 😋#AND WHO KNOWS it might be a nice change of pace from just drawing them#<- theres ljke a 90% chance i wont go through w this but. THE IDEA IS STILL THERE AND I LIKE IT ENOUGH SO#hettimir#i am NOT tagging those two sepperately#delete later(?)
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I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this, but I am so grateful that the Yellowjackets creative team has proven themselves flexible storytellers—in a lot of ways, but particularly regarding Van. ‘Cuz how many times do we get a lesbian in a show (especially a funny, lovable one) and resign ourselves to having to say goodbye in some catastrophic way? And this is absolutely the kind of show where, until you see the adult counterparts, any one of those kids could bite it. And that Van was SUPPOSED to die—or at least, wasn’t necessarily supposed to live—but Liv Hewson did such a fantastic job and the character became so enriched and so charming that she not only gets to live past season one, but gets to live into adulthood.
And that she gets to be so herself in adulthood; Van feels the least changed, in some ways, of any of the grown versions. She’s, as Ambrose and Hewson point out, dimmed down and calcified, but she’s still dressing the same, she’s still proudly gay, she’s out here acting as a sort of snarky cinema mentor to the kids who come into her shop. No, she isn’t happy, because none of them are, but she is alive, and she’s out and proud, and she’s a fundamental figure in this narrative when she could so easily have been written out in a blaze of fire or a wolf attack. I’m so grateful, because it means no matter where adult Van’s journey takes her, we’re getting to hang on to Hewson for as long as the show runs, as one of the core six members of the ‘96 cast, and that is fucking huge. We’re getting the message that at least two of those six characters are gay and get to grow up, and that gayness has nothing whatsoever to do with their trauma and problems in 2021. Like. Goddamn. That’s enormous.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#van palmer#liv hewson#am I worried about what will happen to Van the adult? fuck yeah#am I worried about what will happen to Van’s mental state in ‘96? of course#but we get to find out. we get to see her story continue to evolve#one of my favorite things about the structure of this show is that it manages to keep really high stakes#but also has sort of an underlying safety net of comfort for these characters we love so much#because they might die in the present timeline but at least for these core six we know we always go back to them in the past#it gives the meta energy of telling the story of a loved one after they’re gone#to keep them alive#and that we safely have that comfort with Taissa off the bat and now with Van as well? makes me so fucking happy#I cannot wait until we get more of this show. I can’t think about anything else
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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??
#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man#i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it#and anyways im not actually a guy#im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet#and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious#im a fucking student geneticist dude#i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways#probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders#codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing#i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains#& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men#and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women#its an OLD study too#anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information#but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence#not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough#ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic#but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet#and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right#it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi#i dont fucking care it makes SENSE#'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly#nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon#especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude#that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley#combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like#nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology
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happy pride !! here's a digital zine i made to compile short letters i wrote to some of the queer people in my life i hold close to my heart <3
#zine#personal zine#lgbtqia#pride month#my art#id in alt text#i had this in my mind since the start of the month but i hadnt been able to sit down and do it until yesterday lol#so its not super elaborate or anything but its okay i just wanted to write some short letters to these people#i love you queer people#the tittle is inspired by an interview to sylvia rivera i read earlier this month i cannot remember or find it anywhere now SORRY#but she was talking about queer rights and she talked about other queer people as “my people” and it was so sweet#i was like.... thats me !!! :D#and so i thought about MY queer people#all the important queer people ive met in my life that i vividly rememeber to this day for one reason or another#and i was yeah... me and my people is a nice tittle#so there u go#OKAY I WILL STOP YAPPING ON THE TAGS LOL#DONT MIND THE FUCKING SPEELING ERRORS GOD DAMN IT
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If you truly want to do what's best for mentally ill people, you have to learn that you often won't be able to separate the "salvageable" parts of ourselves with our illnesses, and you can't pretend like we are sane people underneath the façade of insanity, like we can flip a switch and magically erase the differences that make us "disordered"
#mental health#mental health advocacy#i'm not sure how best to explain it but i see this attitude a lot that anything even mildly 'unsightly' must be punished or ignored...#...or fear mongered...#...or this idea that we *are* just secretly... not disordered and that we can choose every single aspect of our disorders and how...#...that will impact us and our world#it's really hard to explain if you haven't experienced it yourself. it's so hard to know that who you Fundamentally Are is seen as unhuman#that you cannot be disordered and seen as an equal in so many scenarios is precisely what i mean by 'if you want to do right [by us]'#we shouldn't HAVE to present as non-disordered or non-ill just to be treated like a person#i shouldn't have to be forced to pretend like my illnesses are an optional part of who i am that OTHERS should ignore so they can 'love me'#my illnesses are intrinsically tied to Who I Am. i will never have the opportunity to know what Being Sane is like and i shouldn't...#...have to pretend like that isn't the case#it's just fucked up to me to know that people would rather that we just... ignore often fundamental parts of who we are for *their* comfort#maybe that's how i'd word it? i find this a very complex topic but at the core...#...the idea is that we shouldn't have to fucking live a lie for the sake of the 'normal' folk#(obviously 'normal' isn't accurate on a technical level but it conveys how i see the conflict)
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sixft by idkhow. you agree
#I CANNOT STOP LOOPING IT. UNMMMMXHSHRLSUXYCHNDMXHDMHM#ITS SUCH A PRETTY SONG AND. HIM SAYING FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT I STILL CANNOT COMPREHEND IT#i cant comprehend anything. the entire album is still a blur to me#idkhow#chase said something alright#HIM SAYING DARLING TOO. IIDHHDJSKDKDJXJFEIUDJCMVUSIDKRLOEUDYHDHEFcjciktkgofoykfjpdlshdhznmrjdlglmJLFLFIIDJRNSUFUENRLCKCITNMFDYJGM#INEED MEDICAL ATTENTION
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Had a lot of easy and okay convos w my mom today (things did go well 👍) and one of them was passing by MECA (Maine College of Art) and her going "I always thought you'd end up going there" and like. A bit of lmfaoing at the idea I mean I barely managed to graduate highschool. Also that shit is expensiiiiiiive. A brief discussion about scholarships occurs but again I did not perform even decently academically. I barely could show up at all and when I did I was fighting for my fucking life. Nevertheless. I told her "Eh I make a lot of art on my own time, anyway!" and she goes "I'm sure you do" in sort of a wistful thoughtful tone and I tell her "I've kinda gotten more serious about comics lately" and she got nostalgic and enthusiastic like "I thought you'd end up doing that! You've always been doing that, since you were little" and it's a really really beautiful moment maybe but in the back of my mind I can't help but think. I'm just really autistic and weird about Alfonse Fire Emblem. And Sharena my friend Sharena. And I guess I have a lot of stories to tell about Moe and Mani and that IS something I'm extremely passionate about, but both are like inseparable like intrinsically intertwined by the fact that I'm just insane about the Askr siblings from hit mobile game Fire Emblem: Heroes.
#this isn't me talking down about it but like. well.#i. actually don't know what i'm trying to say. esp bc i wouldn't have moe and mani any other way#literally and also in my heart.#maybe it's just a weird mixture of going to the museum and like. like that convo happened on the way home#and the way i'm just constantly extremely passionate about any and all the art i make.#like. i have a lot to say. it's very important to me. but it's also important to me that like.#i don't know. i'm just having fun. i'm doing things shoddy at times. i'm fucking around and finding out.#idk age old 'if only you applied even a quarter of this level of interest at xyz' nagging at me. and i get it. i get it.#but at the same time. my art isn't meant to go in a museum or be evaluated by a professor#my art is meant for me first and foremost and secondly it's for like minded strange individuals on tumblr dot com.#only saying strange bc it's. kind of a prerequisite. to enjoy my work. i think. you have to be kinda odd. guessing. maybe.#or at very least okay with me being odd.#idk i've just always been chronically doing my own thing. to my own detriment. but i literally cannot be any other way.#i really have no idea what i'm trying to say i don't wanna seem like i'm talking down artists who manage to do All That either#like. obviously. it's an impressive feat. evocative. ect. really really cool.#but man. i also just have never lasted more than three weeks in any art class. i have ALWAYS immediately#dropped any and ALL art classes i've been in.#i have hostile stubborn asshole autism. i fucking guess. i have to do it my way or else autism. evil autism.#i really really don't have a point here. don't expect anything from me. ever.
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RAMM - 1973
#im reposting this from a twitter account but im heartbroken as i cannot find ANYTHING else this guy has drawn he might as well be a ghost#bc this drawing fucking rules and id love to soak the rest of his stuff into my brain asap#but i cant find anything....devastating. ships in the night i guess#upl
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#i will burn everything to the ground before i pay 12 dollars a month for anything with fucking plus in the title#this post brought to you by me trying to find modern movies at the library#if i cannot i find it i will stream it illegally <3
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My mind is a MACHINE that can turn IDEAS into. Into ideas but Drawn I guess.
#my art#my ocs#he dies she lives#<- working title. hoping to find something better#have two versions of a game in mind. working on concepts for the ‘’small’ version#but you know how it is#we shall see if anything comes of this expect noting but I’m in the zone rn#the blorbo to Oc pipeline goes crazy tbh#gotta work in more design tropes I like tho#I have names for em but I’m not tagging in case I change them.#u can tell I got re-obsessed w kyle Webster brushes w this post lmao#side note cannot fucking wait for procreate to get proper brush management do u know how anoying it is#to not be able to sort shit?? anyways
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