#i cannot FUCKING find anything
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Hornfels: oh hey you're back early-
Me: sun's haunted
Hornfels: what?
Me: *flipping off the Nomai statue and climbing back in the ship* sun's haunted
#outer wilds#* through gritted teeth * i am having fun i am having fun i am having fun#i hate the fucking hourglass twins so fucking much oh my fucking god#i thought it was fine and then The Sand#i cannot FUCKING find anything#and by the time i have a clue theres SAND#FUCK#i dont wanna move on to ash twin till i figure out ember twin first though#God.#i refuse to look up a guide cause for ONCE im going into a game completely blind i will NOT spoiler that shit for myself#i will simply grit my teeth and scream at the sunless city to show me its GODDAMN SECRETS#dragons chatting
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HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!!11!!!11;;
lol so after drawing for the entire day i finally finished,, the beloveds
these go to my two dearest friends ever <3 @hashal-nutcracker @elysiaaurea
and these for the people that have inspired me to start posting my own Lethal Company blorbo content... (left to right: @appri-dot @boxguysaur8 @guest0666 @lev-the-demon @ballcrusher74 @plasticviolence)
UUUHHHHH SAPPY WORDS UNDER THE CUT - my english sucks and it's so lateee;;
BUT ANYWAYS,, I know this may not be some mind blowing piece of fanart (taking into account i'm the worst and slowest artist ever LOL), but I wanted to make something to thank everyone on this date :') Literally joined the fandom on one of the lowest points in my life;; and just the amount of positivity and love I've been getting ever since warms my heart so much.
I literally found one of my best friends here, reconnected with some other old friendships and amazingly found my current partner too (you know who YOU are i'm just too shy to name you,,, I LOVE YOUU<3<3<33<3)!!!!11!!
I just wish I could have been posting more and interacting with all of you :') it eventually got pretty overwhelming with the amount of stuff happening around me irl, but remember this fucking community will always have the biggest place in my heart FOREVER.
BYE HOW I SAID IT'S,, 12AM AND I CHUGGED 4 ENERGY DRINKS TO FINISH THIS. I'm now gonna pass out on the floor after i finish having this stroke <3<3 BYEEEEEE!!!
#lethal company#lethal company oc#lethal company nutcracker#my guys#soda art#if you find any grammar mistakes idc i'm too tired to change anything#KJAJHWHJFHAJSFA I HOPE YOU ALL LOVE TJIS#I'M SO EXCITED#LITERALLY CANNOT CONTROL MYSELF#Is it too cringe to love this fucking game so much??#I THINK NOT#EVERYONE IS SO WHOLESOME#also i'm so happy with how much y'all helped me better my art skills :'D#AJHWBKGKJSGD I WILL ALWAYS LOVE NUTCRACKERS <#<3
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HOW did Stain not run up to him and hug him I don't know.
The voices he made while crying killed me.
#i couldn't find this pic on Pinterest#so i took a screenshot myself#and GOSH#this scene is so fucking sad and heartbreaking#I CANNOT WATCH IT AGAIN#HORRIBLE THE WAY TOSHIS VOICE IS#SO DESPERATE AND SAD#GOSHH AND THE THINGS HE SAYS TO IZUKU FUCK MEEE#THOSE TWO AND THESE TWO#MY HEARTTTT#i- i couldn't even hold back my tears#his VOICE#i cannot get over anything in this scene#THE BENTO#THE “u haven't eaten yet :(”#HELP ME REALEWSEE EMEEE#NEVER make this man cry EVER again#please#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#toshinori yagi#akaguro chizome#all might#stain mha#izuku midoriya#stainmight#<- ig?
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ngl, the more I think about it, the more I feel conflicted over how people sexualize my characters.
On the one hand, it would be silly to deny that I don't go out of my way to create aesthetically pleasing/attractive characters because I love to draw what I enjoy, and I love it when people simp for them.
But on the other hand, sometimes it does bother me that people are so fixated on sex and their own arousal that they miss important lore/plot information that I get a bit frustrated
#txt#i dont really mind that people missed the fact that powers had horns but i do have issues with people thinking the scene would lead up to#sex??? lili had a very clearly shocked face but people were expecting them to just. have sex and fall in love#twitter and instagram is pretty respectful to my works but i think webtoons and especially tiktok (good lord tiktok) is where people are#just. like they're not even paying attention because they wanna fuck my ocs lol#its a lot of work to try to give these incredibly short comics decent pacing and dialogue and it sucks when people ignore gestures or#verbal communication because they saw powers muscled chest and went 'oh yeah. its sex time'#i started posting my bugtopia comics to tiktok and these people are so goddamn obsessed with sexualizing everything that i read comments#where people were expecting arachne to peg her FOUR YEAR OLD SON#and its like. hey guys. im glad you enjoy my work but i dont like how you cannot perceive my characters as anything#but something to whack off to#anyways i dont see myself discussing this on twitter because unfortunately people have 0 fucking reading comprehension lol#to this day i get rude messages accusing me of hating people who enjoy lesbian media or finding my characters hot#because i asked people to not call me a fucking f*ggot when i draw to men kissing
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This time on: "Daughter Impulsively Does a Thing", local catgirl believes she could write a fanfic despite having literally zero experience in the writing department
#*clenches fist* this is so embarassing but i need to remember that i have to things embarassed or else i wont get anywhere 😞😞#and yeagh. the fic was going to be about hettimir because of fucking course it is!?!?!???#SIGGHHH..I ?? I JUST??? auughhfghhgh im really craving some hettimir food but i havent been in the mood to draw them at all lately#<- mostly cuz im procrastinating the idea of even drawing anything but. yknow...#AND IVE BEEN DYYIINNGGGGG TO FIND ANY NEW HETTIMIR FICS SOBSOBSOBSOBSOBSOB#if ur reading this and you've written hettimir before (which im assuminh is a 50/50 since ik some of you do occasionally check my blog)-#just know that you are literally doing the lords service i CANNOT thank you enough ☹️☹️☹️🙏🙏🙏🙏#BUT STILL...... auuuayhfugughhgghghgughghhhhhhh#...so ive decides to take matters into my own hands and be the change i wannt to see in the world 😋#AND WHO KNOWS it might be a nice change of pace from just drawing them#<- theres ljke a 90% chance i wont go through w this but. THE IDEA IS STILL THERE AND I LIKE IT ENOUGH SO#hettimir#i am NOT tagging those two sepperately#delete later(?)
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I’m sure I’m not the first person to say this, but I am so grateful that the Yellowjackets creative team has proven themselves flexible storytellers—in a lot of ways, but particularly regarding Van. ‘Cuz how many times do we get a lesbian in a show (especially a funny, lovable one) and resign ourselves to having to say goodbye in some catastrophic way? And this is absolutely the kind of show where, until you see the adult counterparts, any one of those kids could bite it. And that Van was SUPPOSED to die—or at least, wasn’t necessarily supposed to live—but Liv Hewson did such a fantastic job and the character became so enriched and so charming that she not only gets to live past season one, but gets to live into adulthood.
And that she gets to be so herself in adulthood; Van feels the least changed, in some ways, of any of the grown versions. She’s, as Ambrose and Hewson point out, dimmed down and calcified, but she’s still dressing the same, she’s still proudly gay, she’s out here acting as a sort of snarky cinema mentor to the kids who come into her shop. No, she isn’t happy, because none of them are, but she is alive, and she’s out and proud, and she’s a fundamental figure in this narrative when she could so easily have been written out in a blaze of fire or a wolf attack. I’m so grateful, because it means no matter where adult Van’s journey takes her, we’re getting to hang on to Hewson for as long as the show runs, as one of the core six members of the ‘96 cast, and that is fucking huge. We’re getting the message that at least two of those six characters are gay and get to grow up, and that gayness has nothing whatsoever to do with their trauma and problems in 2021. Like. Goddamn. That’s enormous.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#van palmer#liv hewson#am I worried about what will happen to Van the adult? fuck yeah#am I worried about what will happen to Van’s mental state in ‘96? of course#but we get to find out. we get to see her story continue to evolve#one of my favorite things about the structure of this show is that it manages to keep really high stakes#but also has sort of an underlying safety net of comfort for these characters we love so much#because they might die in the present timeline but at least for these core six we know we always go back to them in the past#it gives the meta energy of telling the story of a loved one after they’re gone#to keep them alive#and that we safely have that comfort with Taissa off the bat and now with Van as well? makes me so fucking happy#I cannot wait until we get more of this show. I can’t think about anything else
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my gender is like meat leaf i think. boy materials in the structure of girl. like im a girl made out of boy things but not in a transman way like i like being female im just. a girl-leaning boygirl. maybe??
#u dont understand ive been insisting to all of my friends for like 6 years that im NOT a trans man#i cannot be proven wrong at this point i'll lose it#and anyways im not actually a guy#im definitely a girl just like. a type of girl that scientists haven't discovered yet#and that sounds like a joke but im soooo fucking serious#im a fucking student geneticist dude#i think theres some autosomal gene (or probably multiple) that regulate gender in convoluted ways#probably linked and i think there's probably multiple types of fem and masc genders not to mention non fem OR masc genders#codominant? incomplete dominance? is it different on different scales?#its a completely possible and furthermore plausible concept like from my perspective it'd be really weird if gender genetics weren't a thing#i think theyve already lowkey been proven to be a thing cause of that paper comparing trans brains to cis brains#& finding a link where trans men had a certain section that was the same as cis men#and that same section in trans women was the same in cis women#its an OLD study too#anyways i want to research this one day but i also dont because i dont trust humanity with that information#but if i found proof that it exists maybe it could seriously back trans people with scientific evidence#not that they should fucking NEED it testimony should be fucking good enough#ive been bio obsessed since i was born and im a natural skeptic#but when i was 11 i asked a trans person i knew like 2 fucking questions and they answered me and i was like 'yeah this makes sense'#figured anything that didnt make sense was just something i didnt understand yet#and now that im older and in college level biology and genetics classes i know i was right#it would be really really weird if trans people didnt exist did you know that? all the kinds too like nb genderfluid agender genderq demi#i dont fucking care it makes SENSE#'nonbinary' was a good term to adopt because it really just fits perfectly#nothing in biology is ever ever ever truly binary especially not a neurological and psychological phenomenon#especially not in a species with a brain so overly complex and tangled up like HOMO SAPIENS??#are you kidding?? the fact that we even have a concept of art and music let alone have talents and passions for them is proof alone dude#that shit doesn't help us survive its a modified version of pattern recognition and uncanny valley#combine that shit with the fact that intersex people exist?? like#nonbinary gender is literally the combination of intersexuality and human neurology
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that gender post from last night has me thinking i wish other cis people knew how entirely bog standard and common it is to have zero innate sense or connection to gender - i'd go as far as to say that it's how the majority of cis people feel! it's a sense of being given one of two labels and simply having no innate notion to the contrary, but also, having no real innate sense that you ARE that. you're just that thang by default bc everyone calls you that and it's convenient and it's comfortable and the concept of gender is simply not interesting enough to spend time on
#you're not broken! it's normal!! and if you go down the agender route with it that's fine as well. we all process stuff differently#we are all a sum of our experiences and we each have a reason for why we are the way we are#the only thing that makes me a woman is that i am seen as one bc of my body parts. and that's fine. i don't care really#well. and the fact that i know i would NOT be a good looking man lmfao#i think being on tumblr (the gender site) for so long did leave me with a sense of alienation*#because on here gender seems to form a large part of many people's identities. and people really do care about it and talk about it a lot#and have a SENSE of it. which is cool for you guys.#but i just Cannot conceive the idea of 'feeling' like a woman or a man or anything else. and i just don't find gender interesting enough#but i'm no less a cis woman. i rly think this is how a vast number of cis people are. can't blame agender ppl for opting out entirely thoug#*but of course the sense of alienation /i/ feel as a cis person here is fuck all compared to the alienation trans people feel in cis societ#how the turn tables some might say
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happy pride !! here's a digital zine i made to compile short letters i wrote to some of the queer people in my life i hold close to my heart <3
#zine#personal zine#lgbtqia#pride month#my art#id in alt text#i had this in my mind since the start of the month but i hadnt been able to sit down and do it until yesterday lol#so its not super elaborate or anything but its okay i just wanted to write some short letters to these people#i love you queer people#the tittle is inspired by an interview to sylvia rivera i read earlier this month i cannot remember or find it anywhere now SORRY#but she was talking about queer rights and she talked about other queer people as “my people” and it was so sweet#i was like.... thats me !!! :D#and so i thought about MY queer people#all the important queer people ive met in my life that i vividly rememeber to this day for one reason or another#and i was yeah... me and my people is a nice tittle#so there u go#OKAY I WILL STOP YAPPING ON THE TAGS LOL#DONT MIND THE FUCKING SPEELING ERRORS GOD DAMN IT
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If you truly want to do what's best for mentally ill people, you have to learn that you often won't be able to separate the "salvageable" parts of ourselves with our illnesses, and you can't pretend like we are sane people underneath the façade of insanity, like we can flip a switch and magically erase the differences that make us "disordered"
#mental health#mental health advocacy#i'm not sure how best to explain it but i see this attitude a lot that anything even mildly 'unsightly' must be punished or ignored...#...or fear mongered...#...or this idea that we *are* just secretly... not disordered and that we can choose every single aspect of our disorders and how...#...that will impact us and our world#it's really hard to explain if you haven't experienced it yourself. it's so hard to know that who you Fundamentally Are is seen as unhuman#that you cannot be disordered and seen as an equal in so many scenarios is precisely what i mean by 'if you want to do right [by us]'#we shouldn't HAVE to present as non-disordered or non-ill just to be treated like a person#i shouldn't have to be forced to pretend like my illnesses are an optional part of who i am that OTHERS should ignore so they can 'love me'#my illnesses are intrinsically tied to Who I Am. i will never have the opportunity to know what Being Sane is like and i shouldn't...#...have to pretend like that isn't the case#it's just fucked up to me to know that people would rather that we just... ignore often fundamental parts of who we are for *their* comfort#maybe that's how i'd word it? i find this a very complex topic but at the core...#...the idea is that we shouldn't have to fucking live a lie for the sake of the 'normal' folk#(obviously 'normal' isn't accurate on a technical level but it conveys how i see the conflict)
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if i have to see one more mention of celegorm and luthien i am going to actually kill everyone
#archi screaming#like idk maybe i am just Not Feminist or whatever but#i swear it feels like i am simply just not allowed to dislike a fanon interpretation#because if i do it’s rape denial even though. you guys are also the ones preaching the fact your view on fiction is not reflective of you???#like my god if i dislike anything it is immediately an issue of My Morals and not#I Find This Take Boring As Fuck And Do Not Care For It#you don’t have to agree with me or even like what i say but it’s kinda ridiculous#that people are allowed to like what they like but cannot dislike what they dislike
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sixft by idkhow. you agree
#I CANNOT STOP LOOPING IT. UNMMMMXHSHRLSUXYCHNDMXHDMHM#ITS SUCH A PRETTY SONG AND. HIM SAYING FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT I STILL CANNOT COMPREHEND IT#i cant comprehend anything. the entire album is still a blur to me#idkhow#chase said something alright#HIM SAYING DARLING TOO. IIDHHDJSKDKDJXJFEIUDJCMVUSIDKRLOEUDYHDHEFcjciktkgofoykfjpdlshdhznmrjdlglmJLFLFIIDJRNSUFUENRLCKCITNMFDYJGM#INEED MEDICAL ATTENTION
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RAMM - 1973
#im reposting this from a twitter account but im heartbroken as i cannot find ANYTHING else this guy has drawn he might as well be a ghost#bc this drawing fucking rules and id love to soak the rest of his stuff into my brain asap#but i cant find anything....devastating. ships in the night i guess#upl
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#i will burn everything to the ground before i pay 12 dollars a month for anything with fucking plus in the title#this post brought to you by me trying to find modern movies at the library#if i cannot i find it i will stream it illegally <3
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I think I realized what bothers me about all the Lilo and Stitch merchandise I see at target is, and that's that like. none of it ever includes Lilo...literally the first half of the title's namesake? an extremely important character in the movie??
like you know that there are other important and meaningful characters besides the little blue goblin thing and his shiny variant, right...?
#literally just ignoring all the human characters in the movie#like dude I also like Stitch and Angel but like. why is it that I literally cannot find anything related to one of the main characters#but I can find 10000 items related to the pink variant of Stitch who appeared in like 2 episodes of the spinoff tv show#like am I nuts???? what the hell#Lilo and Stitch //#to me like. Lilo IS the movie. feels fucked up that she is nowhere to be found in any of the merchandise. at least not that I've seen#to be clear I work in a target. I'm not here by choice
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good morning. thinking again of juve and her dog
#oreste garifalle save me. save me oreste garifalle (he cannot even save himself)#i just.. man its so over. by the time they encounter each other juve is the worst shes ever been & oreste doesnt yet know he could be better#so. sure. juve needs to gather the pieces of herself back up and double down on her coping mechanisms but not thinking at all about whats#happened to her/how she was affected by it and by instead fixating on someone elses problems. she needs to offer drive and direction to#another in order to feel more in control of herself#and luckily for her unluckily for himself. by the time she finds him. oreste is only Just stumbling out of a gothic pseudoincest nightmare#in which all of his own wants and desires have been very deliberately placed on a shelf higher than he can reach and hes all too eager#to accidentally replicate previous dynamics (dog) with someone new#so. tldr. juve needs to control/'fix' someone and oreste as of yet only knows how to be controlled/molded in anothers image#which would already be so bad except to top it off. juve is steadily fucking losing it. due to the repression crimes#and even as she tries to distance herself from the emotional aftermath of what she went through. it bleeds into the way she treats oreste#instead. like.#her base level dehumanization of him would already be bad but. as is. in the way it finds her.#juve completely lacks the finesse or grace or awareness to approach it as she normally would#so she instead traps them both in this horrible codependent situation where her 'fixing' oreste mostly involves her going oh! i know!#your problem is that youre not in touch with your anger right? you should be angry about what those guys did to you but youre not rigjt??#so!! easy fix!! lets just get you angry!!!#<- girl who is not entirely wrong but has also never processed any of her own anger a day in her life and Will be projecting#<- girl who will treat you both as a metaphor/extension of herself but Also as a recreation of the previous dynamic she was in with an#excessively angry individual#<- girl who decides the best way to put you in touch with your anger again is by. repeatedly triggering you until you protest#essentially bending your finger back and waiting to see which will come first. you letting it break or begging her to stop#and oreste is always too deeply traumatized and overwhelmed to do anything but let it break. so.#notnow#juve mizani#oreste garifalle#one of my favorite scenes i have planned for them is her making oreste relay what his abuser (kai) looked like. in detail.#as a skinshifter herself.#you see where this is going.#you should send me asks about them btw. if you want. also if you dont
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