#i can't tell which week this is from fuck

[vaspider]

"Spider, what kind of week have you had?"

Well... kind of like this.

I woke up yesterday & the left half of my face just didn't work. Emet was at the store and just left her cart to come take me to the ER (our ambulances here are notoriously slow at the moment).

It wasn't a stroke, but you have to treat it as if it might be - single-side weakness or facial weirdness and slurred speech? Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to the emergency room.

What I have is Bell's Palsy - the nerve on the left side of my face isn't working correctly - which is usually brought on by stress and a viral infection. A cold, COVID, shingles... I had a very mild cold about a week ago, and massive amounts of stress from chasing medical nonsense, and that was enough.*

Bell's Palsy usually resolves on its own in weeks to a few months, but - and I can't stress this enough - it could have been a stroke. You can't tell the difference at home, especially if your BP has an unusual presentation like mine did. If you experience single-side weakness or drooping in your face, one arm gets weak suddenly? Immediately stop what you're doing and go to the ER. Minutes matter.

* No, I can't know for sure what caused this, but I'm going to believe for the rest of my life that Medicaid putting me through absolute fucking hell over my pain meds for ten days and getting me so stressed out that I started sobbing on the phone with my doctor's office absolutely caused this. Fuckers.

[tea-earl-grey]

i deserve to kill insurance companies actually.

[front-facing-pokemon]

[beachghoulz]

i fucking hate it when someone calls me and i miss it and there's just like no follow up text or anything

[cryolyst]

~

[philcoulsonismyhero]

I keep getting rejected from conventions that I've been doing for multiple years this year and I heard on Friday that I didn't get Scotland Comic Con, which I've relied on for the last two years to be able to pay my fucking rent over the winter when there's no events, and it makes me want to scream because what the fuck am I supposed to do about it?? I'm making new stuff reasonably regularly, I make really good sales when I get into cons, I go out of my way to be reliable and show up on time and do everything they want exhibitors to do, and it's just flat rejection after flat rejection, sometimes without even the courtesy of a spot on a waiting list or a cursory 'sorry, we got a lot of applicants and we've got limited space'.

I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I don't think I even am doing anything wrong, I'm just getting repeatedly fucked over by event organisers who just see me as a way of increasing their own ticket sales rather than a human being trying to make a living.

And, like, part of me gets that I've been doing this for a while and folks who are new to it deserve a chance to get a foot in the door, but my ability to be charitable runs out when the biggest convention in the country decides no, we don't have enough room in our fuck-off huge venue for everyone so bye, fuck you, that ~15% of your yearly income that you rely on making at this con is just going up in smoke.

I like doing conventions, I'm good at it and it's fun, but it's getting Really Fucking Stressful to have my ability to eat and pay bills decided increasingly arbitrarily by the same five events companies who don't seem to give the slightest shit about anyone.

And I don't know what to do about it because the reason I'm doing this is because I'm too fucking autistic to get a real job, and I got kicked to the kerb by the benefits lot a few years ago because that system's fucking broken too, and the more effort I put in the less work I seem to actually get and frankly I want to fucking break something

[teruel-a-witch]

as i'm waiting for my new tablet to arrive i'm reminded why i don't shop online ever and hate paying in advance for something i haven't been able to hold in my hands yet.

it's starting to seem like it won't arrive before my birthday tomorrow so i am officially livid. i specifically picked a store that wasn't far away and promised delivery on the 28 at the earliest but it looked like they only shipped it on the 28th judging by the status 😒 the one time I order a gadget online instead of going directly to a store and this happens. birthday officially ruined.

[the-trans-dragon]

It's an odd comfort to experience a Bad Fibromyalgia Time after a long long period of not having this intensity of it.

Like it sucks slsjskdjd of course but

Very validating to experience some of the moderately severe symptoms and realize "wow this fucking sucks, this isn't normal at all, most people do not deal with this and I did a great job at surviving this for years. I deserved way more credit than I myself. Good job, past-me. You were goddamn tenacious."

The validation is nice

[emelinstriker]

my rant of the day

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[faethfigueroth]

.

[imwritesometimes]

nothing like waking up and immediately having horrible migraine aura followed by a horrible fckn migraine to just completely derail all the plans you had 😖

[rotisseries]

omg guys my narines playlist fucks so hard

[ohbutwheresyourheart]

girlies I'm losing my mind.

[slippery-minghus]

lmfao-ing at my coworker who had a running-away-from-her-desk-in-tears meltdown when she didn't credit for something she didn't do.

okay bestie 💅

[bullforgery]

2am rant cause idgaf.